#and realizing that there's so much about the system that we DO NOT KNOW ABOUT
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tired-salty-vampire · 2 days ago
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This hit way too hard. I came out to my mom late last year for similar fears. My parents aren't bad people, per say, and they love all of their kids - myself tentatively still included - very much. But it has always felt like there were strings attached. I told her that I'd been with my partner now for over a year and we plan to get married eventually. She said that while she and my dad would not shun me from the family, they would not be celebrating my relationship. Most of my family are very religious so I was amazed that I wasn't cut off on the spot because my parents had shunned my older sisters (who have since been welcomed back into family functions) for years on end for far less. I was proud of them for that and it showed growth and while I wasn't expecting them to be elated and jumping off the walls in excitement for me, I am sad that they will never be happy for me and that I've found someone I love, loves me in return, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
We spent our last Christmas with our respective families before moving out of state and neither my partner nor I were able to spend it together at each other's famiy homes because they are both incredibly pious and have forbidden the other from being at their house. So we are allowed to still be with our families on the condition that our partner is not with us. This just drove home even more the "loved with strings attached" aspect of family who isn't awful, but definitely not great.
"It's just so sad." This something my mom has always said about people who are LGBTQ+. Especially about my uncle, who has been married to his husband for three decades at this point, but I didn't find out by that he was gay until I was fifteen. He'd been a part of my life with his "roommate" who'd occasionally come to Christmas or other holidays. It just wasn't talked about because of the homophobia and essentially the homoerasur from my parents and their parents.
Whenever she would say things like that, I'd always think, "No, what's sad is that you think it's sad for people to love someone of the same sex. Or to realize that they identify as someone that they weren't originally assigned at birth. It is sad that you can't accept or respect people who have different beliefs than you and don't adhere to the rigid system you do, and you reject them on principal."
My only hope is that after my partner and I are married, my parents at least will allow me to bring my wife to family gatherings. Because I have every right to do that just as much as a heterosexual family member would.
To come back to what OP said, most parents of queer people usually aren't just straight forward good or bad, kind or abusive. It's very often some confusing and emotionally trying combination of "We still love you, but with conditions" and because of that you never know where the line is or what is safe to mention or talk about before they go off on you about "life choices".
Overall, having parents or family members who are passive aggressively "accepting" of your being queer is likely more far common than media shows and that aspect, as much as it sucks and is complicated, is still worth sharing.
I feel like we always see parents who are 100% super supportive allies, or parents who are horrible and cruel.  At least in media or in the most popular stories.  But I feel like that ignores just how many people have parents where you just have no idea?  And even if you think they’ll accept you on a surface level, you don’t know if they have a breaking point.  Especially if you need to go on hrt, or request they change the way they think about and refer to you.  Sure they’re liberal and all, or centrists, or “tolerant”, but how far does that stretch?
I think most closeted LGBT+ kids live like this, wading around in the grey area.  I’d like it of more of us knew that was normal, I’d like if we talked about it more.
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thezombieprostitute · 2 days ago
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The Arrangement - Part 12
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Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.
Warnings: Anxiety, Bad parents and siblings, Talking about abuse. Let me know if I missed any!
Part 11 - Part 13
Series Masterlist
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It had been just over a week since your wedding. You and Jake have improved your communication. He's also managed to really set himself up in the home theater where he'd spent that first night. Apparently one thing your parents got right was the massive pair of recliners specifically for that room. Jake swears they're more comfortable than most of the beds he's slept on over the years. It makes you feel better about taking the master bedroom for yourself. Clay had visited again bringing a few duffel bags of Jake's things, including his computer. The massive screen for the theater worked really well for his setup.
While you were cooking, Clay had made sure to update Jake on the status of his family. Things were working pretty well, but there were going to be a lot of paper trails to hide so that they couldn't be followed. Or at least, not followed easily. Aisha and Cougar had both caught a couple of people following his family around that were confirmed to be employed by his parents. Hopefully now that Jake had his computer he could get some better intel on the parents' finances and connections.
But you weren't privy to that update. Jake and Clay agreed it was safer to keep you in the dark about the details. Though Jake didn't doubt your sincerity, there were still too many unknowns about you.
You really didn't mind that they got quiet whenever you were near. Your mind was already at maximum anxiety with Travis, your brother, still being in the Intensive Care Unit. Your parents had been acting unusually as the week progressed and Travis didn't get better. According to the police report he'd been seen drinking heavily with friends before trying to drive home. Usually one of his friends would be the designated driver and keep everyone's keys but, somehow, Travis had gotten his keys.
And now your parents seemed to be readjusting their life plans, and yours as well. The one time you were allowed to visit the hospital you'd overheard your parents murmuring about "he can't be seen like this," "he'll be seen as weak," and other similar thoughts. It made you worried you and Jake would be even more under their scrutiny, set to even higher standards. Your breath hitched as you realized they may demand a grandchild to help change the public perception of the family to one of hope or something like that.
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You and Jake were getting ready for your first public event as a couple. You're helping Jake pick out the right suit while doing your best to answer his questions about what to expect, what is appropriate conversation, how much both of you needed to talk to others before you could leave. You know you're missing things. Jake does, too. But neither of you can think of the questions to ask so you establish a silent signal for help. Jake squeezes your hand three times and you either step in or whisper some advice in his ear. It's not a great system, but it's all you can do for now.
Jake hates how he looks in all of this but he knows it's not about him or his comfort. At least he doesn't have to wear the torture device you call a dress. The thing looks impossibly tight on you. He's worried about your ability to breathe. And the stiletto heels have you warning him you'll be on his arm all night to help you keep your balance. Jake actually takes comfort in that because he really doesn't want to be left alone at this event. Probably any event, but this first one especially.
As the car pulls up Jake takes a deep breath and you attempt the same.
"We can do this, right?" He says quietly.
"I believe we can," you nod. You gently squeeze his hand in reassurance like you did that first morning with the parents.
He nods, "let's do this."
As soon as he's able Jake is out of the car and opening your door for you. The last time he did so you were scared of each other. Now you make sure to give him a small smile of thanks as he takes your hand. The elevator ride to the party is as quiet as the one you took together your wedding night, but less oppressively so. It isn't until the elevator doors open that you both put on your fake smiles. Both of you taking small comfort in the fact that neither of you is suffering alone.
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After the first couple hours Jake is ready to punch someone, anyone, just so he can be forced to leave since he's not allowed out yet. He's incredibly grateful you insisted on eating a little something beforehand. The food here is barely edible and dissolves faster than cotton candy. He hates the wine? Champagne? Whatever the hell it is, he hates the taste of it but, in following your lead, he knows he has to at least sip often enough to warrant a replacement glass every 30 minutes or so. Jake was grateful to have your weight on his arm to help keep him grounded.
Especially when Charles Blackwood, a "friend" of his from high school, showed up. Charles had been nothing but a leech throughout all of high school but Jake was desperate for some kind of friendship.
"Jacob! Where have you been?" Charles holds out his hand and Jake grips it firmly.
"I've been okay, Charles. You?"
"Holy crap, you're married now? Is that why you finally came out of hiding?"
"Sort of," he admits.
He goes to introduce you but Charles stops him. "I know this lovely lady quite well," he admits. You avert your eyes. "We were engaged for some time."
"You were?"
"Didn't she tell you?" Charles smirks. "Would've been married for two years now if her parents hadn't stepped in."
"For once I'm glad they did," you interject. "You're a conman who shouldn't be here."
Charles gives a small laugh, "well look who finally grew up. Too bad you didn't pick up on what was going on before I got you into bed." Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. "How are those dolphin projects going?"
"Sharks," Jake snipes. "Her focus was on sharks."
"Ooo, nerd standing up for nerd. How cute."
"You need to leave us alone," Jake fumes. "She is my wife and I won't let you insult her."
Charles scoffs, "since when can you fight?"
"Since boot camp."
That gives Charles pause. He searches Jake's face for tells that he's lying but finds none.
"Yeah, alright," Charles concedes. "Just don't ruin this party for me. Lots of other potential targets."
As soon as he was out of hearing range you let out a breath. "I'm so sorry," your voice quavers. "I should have...I should have told you."
"Told me what? That your ex-fiance is an asshole? That's not something you need to divulge."
"No...that...that I'm not..."
Jake leans in so that you're the only one who hears him. "You're more than just your virginity status. I'm sorry your first time was with him, he doesn't seem the type to make your pleasure a priority, but I'm not upset that you've had sex before."
You take as deep a breath as you can to steady yourself. "Thank you for that."
"So, can we leave the party yet?"
You check Jake's watch, trying not to be obvious about it. "We've got at least another half hour."
"When we do get out of here, would you be up for going out for some real food?"
You chuckle, "maybe delivery? Or take out? I'm not going to be able to eat much in this dress."
"Fair. And thank you for helping me get through all of this."
"Thank you for listening to my advice," you counter.
"Always," Jake affirms.
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Part 11 - Part 13
Series Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @embarrasingmf;
@irishhappiness; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82;
@ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63
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orangelemonart · 1 day ago
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what is your favorite arc in Naruto? i read something where someone explained the land of waves arc and how some of the themes were abandoned that Naruto hated how ninja was and he wanted to be the change but he did not do that - i did not finish watching shippuden i will but i don't care for spoilers and i wanna know what you think? and if you would change something to reflect back to the whole lets make a better world cause the one before us was terrible if you care about that kinda stuff
I used to feel that way. A million years ago, when the manga's war arc felt endless, I thought the series was abandoning all it's themes.
But after years of thinking way too much about this series, I believeJiraiya's "Quest For Peace" idea creates a through line from Land of Waves to the rest of the series and proves the themes WEREN'T abandoned. Putting this under a read more cause I rambled.
I'm sure the anime is worse because the war arc takes much longer there (I didn't watch the anime as is), so it really feels like we're losing the point for long stretches. But Naruto stays true to his feelings after the Zabuza and Haku stuff through the whole series. He refused to be a tool- his whole thing in that arc- when everyone was telling him to let Sasuke be executed, when they tried to keep him from the war, every thing or flashback about Nagato or Jiraiya's concept of a quest for peace. Hell it's WHY he was able to reach Obito. It's what he yaps about in every Talk-no-Jutsu
I think the entire series strongly supports that idea that Naruto would keep his vows to everyone he T-n-Jed about finding the best, least-violent solutions to conflict and oppression, all flowing from his Land of Waves experience. They're practically OVEREXPLAINED, not abandoned, that's why people make fun of T-n-J so much. And from what little I know about the spin-off series, his whole quest-for-peace/not-giving-up-not-being-a-tool/fix-everything/my-own-ninja-way is why he's busier than other kages, and why the antagonists are ninja moon aliens. Naruto is maintaining world peace, the only place left for villains is OUT OF THIS WORLD.
Anyway that's probably why the 5-Kage Summit is my favorite arc. A lot of (DUMB) people hate it because they think "well the whole village likes Naruto now, that should be the end of the series!", failing to realize Naruto's real goal has changed from being leader so everyone would treat him better, to being a leader who makes the world better for others. He spends that arc grappling with just how difficult that is through the microcosm of how he can't even do that for Sasuke, meanwhile Sasuke is dealing with the emotional ramifications of the cycle of revenge and CONSTANTLY being used as a tool by others. I think that arc strengthens the themes and character development.
I don't think it's perfect, of course. I think there's some muddiness in "not being a tool" and maintaining the ninja system. These things should have been addressed on a world-scale, not just a Sasuke-scale, after chapter 698. There should have been at least a cursory sentence about how Naruto as hokage is working hard to end oppression and cycles of revenge around the world, how even though he hasn't fixed everything, he isn't giving up or backing down! That's all it'd take, but nooooo we had dedicate the entire last chapter to introducing spin-off characters instead of addressing the themes of the series. The 5 Great Nations have more amicable summits, that's all we got.
I have a comic about what I would do differently, SOMEDAY I'll finish coloring it.... someday......
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xxlady-lunaxx · 1 day ago
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on the rare occasion when sanemi’s mental health plummeted and he couldn’t take it, his feet guided him, the ache and the need for numbness coaxing the money over, lifting his hand as he took the sake. he drank and he drank until he was completely unconscious. he awoke with alcohol still strong in his system and, without much thought, he found himself on the way to gyomei’s estate. he often associated the man with something of comfort, although he couldn’t figure out why at the moment. neither could he figure out when he’d arrived, instead staring blankly at the door to gyomei’s house before realizing he had to knock. gyomei opened the door for him and allowed him entry, sensing far more than the sake and gruff greeting sanemi managed. they sat quietly inside after gyomei gave him a cup of water. then, abruptly, sanemi spoke. he was uncharacteristically vulnerable under the anesthesia of alcohol.
“you asked why i don’t talk to genya,” he stated, his eyes unfocused as he stared down at his cup. he took a sip. “didn’t answer, did i?”
gyomei hummed vaguely, not wanting to accidentally set sanemi off. he wasn’t sure how this man was like, once his guard was lowered. “i do not believe you did,” he agreed, though that certain conversation had happened weeks ago. genya was here, actually. he’d been training in the back when sanemi had arrived. undoubtedly, genya must be wondering what was taking so long.
sanemi nodded, downing the rest of his water. he put the cup down. then picked it up, fidgeting with it. his movement was loud in the silence of the room. “considering the circumstances,” he began, “is there really anything else i could do?”
“what do you mean?” gyomei asked, frowning. he heard a door opening, somewhere in the house. genya was getting restless, it seemed. or he was taking a break.
“my only objective for anything is…” sanemi paused, considering this. he started again, discarding his previous words. “most demon slayers objectives are to make sure other people can live normally. even if we can’t. right?”
gyomei made a noise of agreement. sanemi nodded.
“i’m no exception,” he remarked. “but, also, i am. it’s not like i don’t care about other people, but- i don’t ever think about them. when i need to be motivated to stay alive. you know? i do have other people i care about, like iguro or whatever. but he’s not why i’m doing this. i’m not why i’m doing this. nobody’s why i’m doing this.”
there was a lengthy pause. “then who is?” gyomei inquired. he shouldn’t be taking advantage of sanemi’s talkativeness, but he wasn’t the one who needed to hear it. he knew where this was going. genya did not.
sanemi sighed. he tossed his cup in the air, catching it in one hand. “genya. he’s not strong enough for the corps. he’ll survive a couple weeks, but he’s due to die eventually. or get too injured to keep going. i don’t get him. he’s got no reason to keep going, yet he clings onto the pathetic hope that he can do it. he should’ve opted to find some woman to marry. let him have children and make a family and forget all of this happened. if he wants to survive, that’s his best bet,” he said. he seemed to have thought it over many times before. enough so he knew it all, even under the muddled mindset he was sporting. “genya deserves better than to fight mutilated beasts every day. but i can’t kill them all for him. so he just has to leave.”
gyomei let this sink in for a long moment. “i believe,” he began, slowly, “that he wants to by your side.”
“wants?” sanemi scoffed. “he doesn’t know what he wants right now. but i know what he needs. he needs to stop chasing after me. i’m a lost cause. he’s not, yet. so he should take advantage of it before it’s too late. he’s an idiot.”
“i understand where you’re coming from,” gyomei reasoned. “but… you have to consider how he feels about it. does he want a life without his brother? is it really best for him?”
sanemi’s posture sunk, ever so slightly. he was trying to curl into himself. “not like i love the prospect, either,” he mumbled. “it’s just best for him. don’t want nothing more than that.”
gyomei let out a breath. “if you tried talking to him about it-“
before he could finish, sanemi cut in. “don’t be stupid, himejima, he hates me. he wouldn’t listen.”
gyomei was completely taken aback. “what? of course not. quite far from the truth, shinazugawa.” he was confused. “from where did you gain that aspect?”
“where? he hardly listens; won’t leave the corps when i tell him,” sanemi said, full of irritation suddenly.
“because he wants to stay by your side.”
“i don’t want it. i told you. it’s better if he’s not.”
“then explain it,” gyomei insisted. “he believes you’re the one who hates him.”
sanemi snorted, as if that was the most ridiculous thing ever. “that’d be like hating a newborn puppy because it can’t provide for itself. i don’t hate genya. but he has every reason to hate me.”
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bananonbinary · 8 months ago
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as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.
literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.
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the-paris-of-people · 4 months ago
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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elftwink · 2 years ago
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one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society
#good idea generator#i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything#they assume so much knowledge and access to data#ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events]#also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything#i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this#and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking#but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign#PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs#ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line#constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so#its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit#and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open#but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating#bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up#but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive#monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun#and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months ago
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What do you think Mine’s reaction to Masato / Aoki be like?
tbh they'd probably be. amicable. at the very least.
#snap chats#like they have similar values its just that mine's more openly depressed about his belief system and doesn't take pride in it like aoki#i talked about this before omg thats so funny... but yeah no aoki's more proud of 'how the world is'. prob cause he's 'on top' of it#mine begrudges the fact he needs material goods to be useful to people#meanwhile aoki's happy to exploit others if it means he advances. for the most part anyway#he only really starts to show some regret when confronted by ichi. and get the shit kicked out of him for twenty minutes#wait i was rewatching the cutscene and started to throw up cause i got reminded of me in high school again aoki you're 42 stop this#Back On Track Though. mine and aoki had similar pursuits: attain power to be loved thats the core of it in simple terms#they went about it differently ofc: for mine money was power and for aoki popularity was power. Both Very True TBH but anyway#mine realized that even with money his person wasnt valued#and aoki realized that even with recognition people didn't value his character. sins the arakawas. fcukin dummy#i mean aokis a jackass so no wonder but thats not the point of this. fuckfest of tags#they wouldnt be friends. aoki's incapable of friendship and mine would probably quickly recognize aoki as being power hungry#i think mine's been in enough business meetings And Knows Enough About Politics to recognize Professional Fakerism when he sees it#actually do you think mine'd be swindled by any 'kindness' aoki expressed like when kanda left him and he thought he just went to get help.#that shit was wack LMAO BUT REGARDLESS idk i have to go to class soon so im not gonna spend too much time thinking of this#if they needed to they'd just use each other for whatever purpose they needed the other for. idk why mine would need aoki tho#TLDR mine probably wouldnt think too differently of aoki compared to any other power-hungry freak#we can revisit this topic when. im not learning about JP history vjERJALKJ
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 4 months ago
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how do terfs grapple with the fact that they're white supremacist losers who think that women are weak essentially like adult babies but that they also bear the apparent brunt of all human pain... liiike ok which narrative are we going with
#you can't have it both ways and i thought the whole point of a 'women empowerment movement' (they aren't that. don't worry. ik)#was that women were strong and capable of doing anything... but then they complain about women losing sports#like first of all why is SPORTS of all things the crux of your entire argument on gender theory#and second of all sports are not cooshy soft shit anyways... they've always been incredibly violent (varies depending on the sport ofc)#like especially if you're going to the olympics for boxing i do not know why you'd expect not to get hit hard LMAO??? it's not like she died#it's this narrative of women's fragility that really only comes into play with white women bc let's be real here... terfs are mainly white#and also is so funny to put into a sports argument because not only are you making women look bad by essentially saying they#aren't good at whatever sport they're playing and therefore need to have a strict sex-based caste system in place so they can win#and also never get any injuries??? in sports??? which are highly competitive and where most injuries happen???#but also you're saying that physical strength is directly proportional to gender which is also very much not true. if that dumb bitch#was up against a different woman who was like a bodybuilder or weight lifter she still would have lost because she fucking sucks#meanwhile so many men have fucking noodle arms. it's just ridiculous to push this narrative like someone being biologically male doesn't#make them better at sports or stronger just like being biologically female doesn't make you worse at spoets or weaker#people are sooooo fucking different more than you could even imagine with your little peabrain#but you wanna be racist and evil so bad because you don't like cock and balls on women#this is just embarrassing at this point like some people aren't born completely one way or the other and some have hormone imbalances.#doesn't make them any less of whatever they are.#i don't understand why fucking genitalia gets people so tripped up but of course of society is so sex-based how can it not i guess lmao#imagine getting so scared that someone w/ a penis is going to rape you on a constant basis that you basically say we need to be eugenicists#you realize you can hold men who rape people accountable AND be a decent human being... right? it's actually very easy
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cinemaocd · 1 year ago
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For my UK mutuals
As requested I'm not interacting but I have a lot to say about surviving extreme weather as American who has survived half a century of extreme weather in the midwest.
I lived in uninsulated attic bedroom without ac as a child and these are things I learned to do when I was little:
Close up the windows and shut the blinds as the day is heating up. Wait to open things up until after the sun goes down. Use fans to circulate air into the house early in the a.m. when it's colder outside than inside. Use your fans to circulate air around the house during the heat of the day. Use your fans to push air OUT of the house again in the evening. If you push air out an upper story window it will draw some colder air from below.
Save activities/errands for evenings and early mornings. Stay out of the sun as much as possible. Use umbrellas for shade. Wear a hat. Lose fitting clothing in a breathable (cotton, linen, light weight wool) fabric is much better than exposed skin if you have to go in the sun. If you want to go to the beach go early in the morning or in the evening. Don't swim in the heat of the day. If you are in charge of when you work, avoid doing it in the heat of day. If you run a shop, cafe or other business, change your hours to avoid being open during "siesta hours" (2-5 p.m.) If possible try to work from home to avoid commuting during the heatwave. The more people on the Tube the hotter it's going to be down there.
Cars left in the sun are subject to the greenhouse effect and will be much hotter than outside temperatures. Open your car windows and doors before you drive and run the fan to push the hot air out. If you are traveling carry the following: Cold drinking water, a sports drink, nut milk or cow's milk are preferable to soda, coffee or tea but any of those three are preferable to nothing. Even if your vehicle has a.c. you still need more hydration to deal with the heat.
Also useful for travel: bandana or towel (more on that later), sun hat, handheld fan (for when you are stuck in traffic). In America they sell these shields that you can put over your windshield to prevent the greenhouse effect. Not sure if they sell them in the Old Country, but here is a tutorial for making one out of cardboard. All of this stuff (minus the sunshade) would be useful on public transport.
That other post talks about how its bad to wear wet clothes in the sun because water acts as a lens but wet clothing can be your best friend in the shade! A bandana dipped in cold/cool water and wrapped around your neck will keep you cool until it dries. For sleeping I often place a cold bandana or washcloth on my face or forehead. You can dampen a towel and sit on it (this is a great trick for long car rides in the heat) Alternatively: Hot water bottles can also be COLD WATER BOTTLES. Just add ice. They make ice trays that make skinny little shapes to fit into water bottles, and they can help turn your hwb into an ice pack.
Cold/cool showers and baths especially right before bed if you have trouble sleeping in the heat. Kiddie pools or animal troughs in the shade are great for keeping people and doggos cool.
Cranking your fridge to its lowest setting will make it cool more but the heat that is pumped out of the fridge goes right into your house. Keep your fridge at the warmest temp you can get away with. Likewise televisions and computers pump out of a ton of heat when they are running.
IF YOU LOSE POWER
The temptation to rely on your refrigerator/freezer is obvious but the first thing that happens in a heat wave in America is the power grid goes down.
Think about buying a solar powered fan now, before the grid goes down...
Make sure you have batteries charged ahead of time.
If you rely on candles or lanterns for power outtages, consider a source of light that doesn't add heat to the environment, like a solar powered LED lantern.
Another piece of equipment that could literally save your life: a marine cooler.
If/when the worst happens: take some large frozen items out of freezer/deepfreeze and put it in a cooler with some essentials from your fridge. Deeply frozen food will keep those other things cool for a day or more (depending on your cooler). Try to keep the fridge and freezer shut then after you have filled your cooler so that the remaining cool air will keep things as long as possible. If you go multiple days without power you may need to throw everything out anyway, but you might get away with it if you are careful and have a good cooler.
A marine cooler kept out of the sun will keep ice for days. We started camping with one and we no longer have to do any kind of mid-trip ice stock up. Also: block ice will stay frozen so much longer than cubes. If you have the space in your freezer, buy some now and stash it before you need it.
Fresh fruit and vegetables that don't require cooking are a great way to get more liquids and feed yourself without making your house any hotter or using electricity. If consumed quickly they don't need refrigeration either.
This is a wacky one but hear me out: hammocks. If you can hang a hammock do it! Sleeping suspended like that air circulates around your body and you will be so much cooler. I was in tropical Mexico a few years ago and all of the houses had hammock hooks built into the walls to take advantage of the cooling effect. Bonus: you can pretend to be Captain Jack Aubrey while you're lying there...
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tidal-chaos · 6 months ago
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the online system community sucks so bad lmao
#(not talking about any of my system friends/mutuals)#vent#vent post#free to interact/reblog whatever though#anyway it sucks because there isnt actually a cohesive community. it is so divided#there is so much infighting its actually fucking wild#and i wish i could say all the infighting is coming from kids who dont know any better but... its not#adult systems have been poisoned by the infighting too. and it never fucking matters#we arent even accomplishing anything#what. exactly. is the point#the syscourse is hell and its constant and it rarely changes anyones minds#not that it matters if anyones minds change or not because it DOESNT. FUCKING. MATTER.#you go into the system community and everyones just DUKING IT OUT WITH EACH OTHER#i genuinely dont fucking care what side of syscourse youre on#you have better things to fucking do!!!!!!#syscourse doesnt MEAN ANYTHING it is one of the most pointless and yet somehow the most dramatic and hateful debates on the internet#WHO FUCKING CARES.#please for the love of god direct your hate towards something else#this is the most dumb and meaningless thing to waste your energy on#none of this matters irl ever#anti syscourse#tw syscourse#anyway yeah if you're plural i am not going to ask questions because it is none of my fucking business and frankly it is nobody elses either#i am unlikely to ever post anything like this again just because i also have better things to do#but i wanted to get it off my chest#we used to engage in syscourse and it was so draining and got us harassed#and in the end we just realized that it is not worth the energy or the fucks to give#again if you say you are plural i will treat you as plural and thats it. i have shit to do man
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quiteunpersuadable · 1 year ago
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Your quippy tagline to get viewers encompasses my job. Congratulations. 💯
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fungi-maestro · 1 year ago
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The Question #5 (1987)
#book club#the question#vic sage#aww is someone never going to be able to escape the guilt of the human condition? ❤️#has someone decided to bear the weight of all the mistakes of everyone around them? ❤️#is there someone here that hasn't quite realized that they cant change everything no matter how much they try? ❤️#screams.#dc comics#comics#ok so this. its like TDOVS. except TDOVS didnt get the fact that vic is a little self sacrificing freak!#beyond just death.#what TDOVS got wrong is that they assumed Vic would want to be some kind of leader or something#no. he wants to change everything. by himself. with no help. he NEEDS to do it. but he's painfully human.#and he knows that but he feels like he shouldnt be. no amount of punishment and self sacrifice will make him strong enough to fix everything#the question is commentary on the fact that its so easy to get caught up on change at the individual level that we forget about the system#and ultimately get stuck in cycles of making ourselves suffer because we think we can change it with enough of our blood and sweat and tears#but we forget that we can work together and form communities that work with more than that. and are stronger than even the superman of us.#but Vic gets stuck in that zone. and we've all been there. its universal.#i think thats what makes him such an important hero to me. like. think about the current cycle of learning about current events.#obviously to a lesser extent than what hes doing but isnt doomscrolling and succumbing to depression sort of like this?#i think about that post thats like. 'people who have sparked real change pick one thing and care about it a lot'#but i think we. like vic. cant just pick one thing. theres so much all around us.#like in this story with the multiple characters and their horrible lives. theyre all suffering independently.#and their stories effect each other (like all peoples do) but one person can't change every single one of these stories#no matter how long they stay up#no matter how hard they push themselves#no matter how mucht they punish themselves.#Vic sage is a timeless and human hero.#anyway sorry for rambling i probably could have made this it's own post#but this is how i roll. reaching the tag limit. didn't know there was one....
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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago
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the way that randos seem to have learned a tiny bit more about autistic people and are using this newfound power to give their ableism more range, like [inspiring: this gender-respecting bully will only give victims swirlies in bathroom that aligns with their identity] and [guy who researches your identity so that his microaggressions are more accurate] like oh radical that now you're throwing around the word "autistic" more comfortably as meaning shit like someone's "clueless" or "has an interest or perhaps talent" or what nonsense will follow when someone's breaking out the term "social skills" like oh nice, people accessing all the abilities of Autism Parents without having to be a parent
#nothing inherently brand new and just kind of a side effect of ppl learning Anything more abt autistic ppl like being Real & Out Here#which doesn't make that exposure Bad; b/c of course [exposure; proximity] or even Learning Anything At All doesn't make ppl like#have to do anything but just fit that into their preexisting framework; i.e. ableism#just like the examples of ''oh don't worry you can recognize trans identities while Keeping The Bullying''#keep the ableist perspective and just update your idea of what autistic ppl are like At All#also it's ofc just like. wild lol like; it keeps being disparaging / Othering#and i'm sure ppl think they're being just neutral or w/e but even if they out & out Mean Well....like good for you personally idc??? what??#if i was watching some shit and someone was like Would They Be That Autistic [as to do that]? like excuse you....?#like i'm not Baffled like. it's just ppl keeping the depths of ableism & adding some surface level knowledge that autistic ppl are real#and just adding ''autistic'' to their lexicon in a supposedly more technical sense....keeping the spirit of things though; ultimately#and of course the matter of like you don't fix marginalization by making ''exceptions'' to the systems/approaches/perspectives....#like oh well i'd so heroically exercise restraint about considering people Existing Wrong lesser if i knew they were Autistic(tm)#like you don't need to Know to ''make exceptions'' and you need to change the entire approach/situation already thanks#like ppl being nonbinary & others figuring out ways to just try to tack this onto cisnormativity &; indeed; the gender binary#we didn't need an ''equivalent'' to gendered nouns; why is a blog in 2023 opening some random post w/''ladies & gentlemen & others''....#someone's tweet the other day abt cis acquaintances being ''considerate'' emailing like ''should we call it a sex reveal party?'' like.#i'm going to need you to realize the fundamental heart of the issues here. incl ableism. and i realize you think that's Too Much.
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insomniacs-keyboard · 6 months ago
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Bruh
#my newest hire was a cishet man which like great except everyone here is queer to some capacity#no big deal but uhhh the owner jumps at the chance to pay cis men more/give them more oppurtunities#like this guy STARTED at the same wage as my keyholder that's been here for a year (who the owner regularly forgets the name of)#the owner puts so much faith in cis men but the last THREE that have worked here have all left/been fired within months#bc they realize that they get paid mode than all the “female” staff and slack off within weeks of working here#like idk how many times I'm going to have to listen to a man say he respects me transitioning#and then doesnt respect my leadership at all#like I am the manager#I have been manager for nearly a year and before that I was assistant Manager for 7 months#I know how to do more in the internal systems than the owner himself does#do I get paid enough? no#(I mean none of us do it's ridiculous)#but like this man (new hire) is talking shit bc he went to an event with the owner yesterday and is 'spilling the tea' about things he said#and like it is all stuff that the guy has commented on himself so im like 🤨 owner never says that to my face that's funny#he even said 'J is great but don't fall into his leadership habits' like what the fuck does that mean?#I order for TWO of your stores#I am learning how to use the $5k coffee roaster you just bought when im used to a $600 because I OFFERED#I am loyal to everyone here and the customers I will always make nice with them and have countless connections through them including#to over a dozen restaurants/suppliers that buy in bulk from us that the owner DOESNT bc hes cocky and thinks he doesnt have to#but 🤪 I'm soooo lazy and don't do anything#we are the biggest location in the snobbiest part of this town I take entitlement in stride#but not if it's coming from a new hire who jokes 'maybe if you had a penis he'd like you more'#😂😂 kill yourself homie I have more balls than you do
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 8 months ago
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It never gets any fucking easier does it
#bitch bout to do smth very stupid here#i've kept my distance for what already feels like forever n i really thought by now i'd be. at least on the way to functioning on my own#i can ignore it when i'm doin ok but the pull never goes away it's always there#then i get low n i just. can't think of a reason to fight it anymore#i feel like i got sold just another lie. that if i just stay strong n don't go back then i'll start learning how to live w/o him but#did anyone actually tell me that? did i just lie to myself? he makes me feel awful most of the time but if i feel awful anyway then why not#sometimes it helps for a moment or two#that's if he even wants me around anyway. could you go either way#cause i'm sick n weak n suicidal just the way he likes me but also he might be too focused on doll to feel like playin w/ me rn#i feel like everyone told me it'd get easier but maybe they didn't. or maybe i'm doin smth wrong.#honestly it might be my fault he's gettin worse again in the first place cause maybe he was right n i just need a villain in my life#someone to blame when everything's too hard#i guess i wouldn't know what to do w/ myself if he really changed like we supposedly want him to so.....#i hate how i'm realizing he was right about more n more things all the fucking time#i can't do this on my own. i need someone to go to someone i can rely on someone to hold me#others in this system got someone who actually cares about em n what do i get? fucking val#i try not to go there cause it's not healthy but lately it's been hard to convince myself this life isn't a punishment#hell was too cozy so they put me here instead. i don't deserve to be looked after. i only deserve to be used#i don't know what exactly it was i did that was so awful but. i can't make sense of it any other way#so there must be something. this is just me gettin my due.#why else would i have been made like this? wired wrong for this world in so many ways always needin too much#so stop bitching n whining about it n just take it like a good boy#i'm still a good boy if i rly put myself into it right?#spdrvent
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