#and quite frankly i am sick of it!!
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man i love guillermo but if this little freak isn't forced to actually Experience a Consequence for once in this entire series I'm going to scream
#he always runs away/lets someone else take the fall/finds a way to weasel out of feeling guilty/gets a spontaneous get out of jail free card#and quite frankly i am sick of it!!#everyone else has paid the piper at some point#gumball the hubris is coming for u bitch#can not BELIEVE#guillermo couldnt stomach killing a stranger to survive as a vampire#but was willing to kill a friend for want of being human#hypocritical boyyyy#youre the biggest monster on this show and i love you#but i want this fruit bruised for once#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#guillermo de la cruz
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go to the ER seven times in two years with preventable sickness → get told i am a burden to the NHS by a doctor → develop health anxiety due to severity of sickness → the ER give me specialist medication which helps with my undiagnosable sickness → this means i haven't had to go the ER in half a year → i am no longer a burden on the NHS → my health anxiety is gone → i try and get a repeat pescription → sorry we don't think we can give you that it's specialist medication
#WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME. I AM MORE OF A PROBLEM IN A&E#THAN WITH A QUITE FRANKLY MILD ANTI-SICKNESS#credit to the pharmacist she is being a babe and is advocating for me quite well i think#calling doctors and writing to gastro etc#but the fear of not being able to get ondansetron...#and this irony of this whole event is not lost on me.#doctors playing would you rather with my life <3#ola.txt
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i am sick and listening to the raven boys audiobook to make myself feel better but now the ronan declan fight in the nino‘s parking almost has me bursting into tears
#they are both all raw skin and open wounds#i am too emotional for strained sibling relationships today. feeling so sick about them both hurting and hurting each other and#not knowing how to be in this together#thinking about ‘love had changed the situation’ and ‘declan loved ronan. so ronan lived.’#i want to rip my hair out quite frankly#mish reads trc
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#so i'm the first one to shit on ferrari usually#but i'm actually quite sick of this narrative that today's debacle from charles should be blamed on ferrari#yes they should develop a faster car and not an understeer garbage#yes they should develop a car that suits their number one driver#yes their strategy is incompetent 95% of the time#yes it's very *odd* how things only break on charles' side of the garage and not the bank's side#BUT come on#today's debacle is firmly on charles' shoulder for me#let's be real he has now shown on THREE DIFFERENT TRACKS on THREE DIFFERENT RACE WEEKENDS that in mixed wet/dry conditions...#he's just a fucking mess#yeah yeah yeah his particular setup is unfavourable and the car is too understeer and the front won't turn in the mixed conditions blah bla#but this is ON CHARLES#HE DID NOT ADAPT to these problems#he's fighting the car and has zero confidence and his driving is frankly abominable in these conditions#his DRIVING is the problem and so he needs to fix himself#and yes ferrari has a laundry list of things to fix but let's not pretend that charles hasn't shown a deficiency or weakness today#i am very disappointed in him because i KNOW he can be adaptable and i KNOW he is capable of much better#so ADAPT and figure it out#and don't fucking do the same overtaking attempt that doesn't work over and over again when you're fighting your own car#charles is absolutely right: HE is a large part of the problem today#at least he is honest about this and i know he has the talent to overcome this#elle.txt#austrian gp 2023#f1
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Being a mortal flesh person is terribly inconvenient
#hi hello yes may I please have one singular day wherein I don’t faint this week#your boy is TIRED. his BONES HURT. his LUNGS DON’T WORK. the least the universe could do is give me a short reprieve from collapsing#summer weather always worsens the Symptoms and quite frankly I am sick of it
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genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim
#purrs#delete later#covid19#i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in#any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy#for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the#throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in#ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and#healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to#school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist#anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to#access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i#need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have#that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way#it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear#for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in#part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I#think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.
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I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮💨
#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true..#some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable#they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good#like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one#the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell#lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash#and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun#especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game..#and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off#i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring#after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now#and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here..#i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it#and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am#ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend#ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭#ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that#it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh#anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate#didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol#gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge#typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone#.diaries
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Someone find Law and tell him I'm sick - AGAIN. If anyone needs me, I'll be dying in bed 😭
#mandie says a thing#im so sick of being sick yall#im getting sick like 3-4 times a month now and quite frankly i am TIRED#r.i.p mandie#tbd
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Still unwell and I'm going to babble incoherently under the cut about my blorbo DG again because it's my blog and I'll do dumb shit if I want and I'm sick right now so I can't be held responsible for anything, those are the rules OKAY
DG absolutely tried to pick up girls while dressed as Waluigi. I am fascinated by how this man's mind works. He is the fuckboyest fuckboy who ever fuckboyed and I just find that so compelling? I'm wanting more and more to write some weird character study of him for a fic. Like, a multi-chapter fic that's just him Doing Stuff and being weird about it and angsting over the state of his life, just full on psychoanalysis. But, like, nobody would give a shit? Because there wouldn't even be a pairing, it would probably just be Daniel's internal monologue as he goes about his life, facing setback after setback, challenge after challenge, loss after loss and then trying to distract himself/numb the pain by going out with his boys, partying, dancing up a storm (because he just wants to DANCE GODDAMNIT) and trying to get laid. Literally, I'm imagining every fucking chapter would ultimately be about which girl he's trying to take home this week and what stupid fuckboy way he goes about it. Maybe sometimes he succeeds, or maybe he fails yet again and goes back to his hotel room feeling profoundly alone and then jerks off in the shower while crying. But regardless of whether he scores or not, it'll never fix the emptiness he feels inside. It will never quiet the doubts. It'll never stop him regretting his past choices. It won't make the people around him - his chosen family, his friends - understand him or stop them from rejecting outright. He looks at his life, all the missed opportunities and wonders if he'll ever get the chance to be the man he's always wanted to be. The man he felt destined to become. But now that man feels more and more like a pipe dream, like a vague, fading dream that perhaps never was. He doesn't know what to do with that information. He doesn't know who he is when he's not trying to be that man. It's soul-crushing and terrifying and it just makes him feel even worse about himself.
But for now, all he can do is dance.
#This one gets weird folks#Because I am sick#I should probably delete this but whatever#I have a lot of DG thoughts and most of them are about how much I want to write about him having a full-on mental breakdown LOL#For he is my poor pathetic little meow-meow and I truly truly love how pathetic he is (in storyline of course)#God this hypothetical fic would be so weird and so self-indulgent and no one would care no one would fucking read it#But I'd enjoy the hell out of an intense DG character study#Buuuut I probably won't ever write it#I do however still have my Dead Dove fic that I started a little before my writing slump#I swear I really wanna finish that someday#Because it definitely involves him having a full on mental breakdown and losing his mind because IT'S FUN#....anyways I should probably shut up and try to get some rest I am not doing well LOL#Can you believe this was all caused by me watching Daniel try to hit on girls while dressed as Waluigi?#The effect this man has on me is quite frankly scary
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#oh google. how do i fight the Melancholic Aches#y'know i'd nearly forgotten it was fall#until i got sick. n it was actually cold for about two or three days in a row sdkfjghfdg#n i dunno#something something your body remembers things before you do#n it feels. like if emotions were waves and i were standing at the shore. the waves were calm up till now n#now it feels like i was pulled in out of nowhere and my lungs are full of saltwater and it's sloshing around my heart and weighing it down#it's always this time of year#is that like a universal thing? or is it just coincidence#it's like this every year. (i mourn the previous) and just generally get caught up missing things#and then you couple that with all the other given circumstances and how *lonely* it's been lately. i mean how Really. lonely it's been#because like. the years up til now (i thought) were manageable. like 2020-2022#(even though shit kind of hit the fan anyways. dfkjhfdgh. it's at least a little easier with people you love around. and it's at least a li#easier when you think they'll stay)#n now i'm just a lil lost and scared. and tired and i ache. and i am just a little sad#...#i try to make the best of things nowadays but it's just a bit much today n that's okay. there's always tomorrow#m'gonna go make some tea#sap says#i've been thinking of making a separate blog for poems and thoughts but quite frankly i can't be bothered rn. skdjfhgf#maybe sometime though
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never ask a man his salary a woman her age or a discord mod what age he and his girlfriend were when they first started “talking”
#every once in a while it occurs to me out of the blue#that he probably feels so full of himself#since I just didn’t respond to his harassment#and I abandoned this blog#he loves having the last word#he thinks he ruined my life and that I’m miserable and alone now#and it makes me feel guilty that I didn’t lay into him more#I do plan to vent my frustrations at some point#but I will do it in my leisure in my own time#I’m not an ugly jobless discord mod who makes my full-time working gf clean up five cats’ litter boxes and fix my food for me etc etc ^_^#I guess I don’t have as much time as you do to dedicate to bothering others! ^_^#not that posting on my own personal blog— that quite frankly you wouldn’t be reading if you weren’t obsessed w me— is bothering anyone! ^_^#also I am not in the habit of bickering with every single person I ever meet#I prefer to focus my attention on the people and things that give me joy#if there’s anything I’ve learned from this it’s to yeet toxic people out of my life immediately. no second chances. I have no regrets.#my standards actually were never too high. plenty of ppl can meet them. I’m not the only person like me in the world. go figure.#it’s actually not normal to be as sick and incapable of getting along w others as you and the rest of your ‘community’#still. I would like to speak on what happened because I regret that I held my tongue for those two years.#I don’t think it’s healthy to bottle up all of your negativity.#but I’ve realized now it may literally be years before I will have half the mind to think back on that time in my life and talk abt it#so Idk. I just wanted to say.#I genuinely hope he kills himself#I do not say that lightly#I am not someone who throws that phrase around like it’s nothing.#I genuinely mean it with every inch of my heart. he deserves to die horribly.#I just find solace in the fact that he is so miserable. not because he wants for anything material.#he is spoiled and lazy. but still he does not enjoy his life. how could he? all he does is badger ppl online all day.#it just blows my mind that someone that looks like THAT wld talk to me that way 🤣 you’d think being the ultimate loser wld humble him a bit#just wanted 2 get that out of the way#oviposting
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eating the most repulsive ravioli rn <-alliteration.
#well i am trying to mask the flavor with quite frankly excessive amounts of olive oil and pesto and it's not working#it is just making me feel sick
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my personal ao3 search that has kept me sane for almost 10 years and belongs to me: hurt/comfort, pining, james t. kirk/spock (or other ship of choice but tonight it is Them) complete language: english word count: 2,000 - 18,000 sort by: bookmarks descending
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introducing: anna williams, mother to ellie, from the last of us franchise. did i make her profile while i'm super sick and it probably needed a thousand more revisions before it is fully comprehensible ? yes. am i gonna drop the profile anyways and then pass out ? oh yes. what's most important is: i'm currently only tv-show based, but as usual, i'm open to anything at all :)
#1. to note: i do have knowledge of the game!#i'm not so far yet in Part 2 because quite frankly that SCENE traumatised me :)#also in my interp................. anna was killed after fighting marl3ne in the hospital tee hee <3#BUT OFC thats very negotiable. as is everything on my blog are 💅#2. GOD I AM SUPER SICK. my eyes are teary. my nose is stuffy. this is ... probably an incorrigible mess#I WILL EDIT IT AS SOON AS I GOT BETTER but i rlly want 2 put this out bc ....#i need everyone to know i hc that anna named ellie after her grandma whose name was 'eleanor'#and ellie was a nickname her grandpops call her grannie <3#anna is also a very bitey woman. will bark. menacingly#shes 10 years younger than joel is ( tv show wise )#she dreams of having a garden for ellie so ellie will never starve again 😔#gen: muses.#anna.
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Day 1,673 of hunting down authentic Juicy Couture purses just to keep running into resellers who list a $25 purse for $100 and authentic Juicy sellers trying to sell a purse that looks like it's been dragged through hell and back for $700 💀
#y2k#y2k aesthetic#2000s#juicy couture#i am SICK of it#quite frankly#they just need to revamp the entire brand#im sick of the new styles#and want the real 90s/2000s JC BACK#but these sellers man i mean COME ON#its so freaking annoying omg#they can go to hell
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if i have to stay at my moms house for a full week next week i might just lose my mind
#i am so sos oso tired already and i havent even booked a ticket yet#might need to ask my sister if she can PLEASE drive me to the train station after a couple days#bc i just. cannot cope even a little bit#i am very tired and very stressed and quite frankly i would like an out#if it wasnt my brothers graduation i would just lie and say im sick
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