#and qui gon didn’t realize

[saphronethaleph]

Negotiate Early, Negotiate Often

The unknown Sith lit his lightsaber, one end, then both, revealing it to be a saberstaff.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan activated their own lightsabers, then Obi-Wan frowned slightly.

“Just curious,” he said. “But what’s your name? I just realized I’m only thinking of you as ‘the Sith’.”

“My name is Maul,” the Zabrak replied. “Darth Maul. I am your end, Jedi.”

“Hmm, debatable,” Obi-Wan replied. “We don’t actually know yet and that’s the point of this lightsaber battle. As soon as we get around to starting it, anyway.”

He shrugged, twirling his blue saber blade around his hand. “But I’m curious, that’s all. Why now? After hiding for a thousand years, Maul… why now?”

“Now is the time to reveal ourselves to the Jedi,” Maul declared. “To take our revenge.”

“Right, there’s two Sith at any one time,” Obi-Wan agreed.

“...Padawan?” Qui-Gon asked.

“I’m negotiating,” Obi-Wan replied. “It’s sort of experimental. I’ll see how it works.”

He returned his attention to Maul. “But – well. There’s two Sith at any one time. There’s currently… what, ten thousand Jedi Knights, and about the same number of trainees and padawans? It’s a lot, is what I’m saying. And now we know you exist.”

Maul’s mouth had fallen open slightly, and he shut it with a scowl.

“You’re lying,” he said, shaking his head. “There can’t be ten thousand of you.”

“There very much can,” Obi-Wan answered. “Though I’m not a knight. I’m a Padawan. Qui-Gon is a Master, but he is also a knight.”

He reached into a pocket. “I’ve not got the names of all ten thousand, but my comlink has a few hundred comcodes programmed into it-”

Maul snarled, reaching out with his hand, and threw a piece of detritus at Obi-Wan with the Force. Obi-Wan immediately put his comlink back in his pocket, spun his saber, and sliced the object in half.

That seemed to get the battle going more generally.

“Is this how weak the Jedi are?” Maul asked, grinning, as they locked blades in front of one of the power cores.

“I’ll be honest,” Obi-Wan replied. “I’m not sure you thought through that whole bit about how we haven’t known you existed for a thousand years.”

Qui-Gon advanced, and Maul twisted to block both attacks at once. That turned into a slash aimed at removing Qui-Gon’s head, and Obi-Wan deflected the slash away with a swipe of his own blade.

“You see,” Obi-Wan went on, as the battle ebbed and flowed. “We haven’t had much in the way of enemies with lightsabers for a thousand years. Most of our work has been dealing with enemies who, at the most, have blasters – and generally speaking we aim to disable, not kill, unless killing is the only remaining option.”

“A sign of the weakness of the Jedi!” Maul laughed.

Obi-Wan blocked all three of Maul’s next attacks, flowing through the forms of Soresu with an easy grace. “Perhaps,” he said. “Or perhaps it’s a sign of strength. To kill someone when there’s an alternative is to take the easy way out – finding a solution that doesn’t require killing everyone who disagrees with you is harder, but more rewarding.”

Qui-Gon just sort of stood back, watching his Padawan and trying to look for an opening where he could help without promptly getting decapitated.

“Are you the Master or the Apprentice?” Obi-Wan asked. “Because if you’re the Master, then – I’ll be quite honest, I do question why you didn’t reveal yourself years ago, and why you’re acting largely as hired muscle.”

He shrugged, working it into his bladework as he deflected one attack after another. “And if you’re the Apprentice, then… again, why do you reveal yourself now? If you didn’t know there were that many Jedi, what’s your Master’s motive?”

“Stop! Using! Soresu!” Maul snarled, trying to force an attack through Obi-Wan’s defences.

“I’d rather not,” Obi-Wan told him. “We’re talking, aren’t we? I’d rather have the time for a discussion. But please, do think through what I’m saying. Why Naboo?”

“My Master handles politics,” Maul said, then scowled.

“Ah, so you’re the Apprentice,” Obi-Wan declared. “In that case, allow me to compliment you on your excellent skill with Juyo. If I weren’t using a purely defensive Soresu style I’d probably have been filleted by this point-”

Maul punched him in the face with the hilt of his saberstaff, and Qui-Gon stepped in with his green blade flashing to save Obi-Wan from a fatal blow.

“If you could stop annoying the Sith, Padawan?” he suggested.

“Negotiations are often fraught, Master,” Obi-Wan replied, picking himself up again and working in tandem with his Master. “You need to know about the other person before you can reach an acceptable compromise.”

“So, your Master handles politics?” Obi-Wan asked, through the glowing energy doors. “And he sent you here.”

“I don’t want to talk to you any more,” Maul said. “I’m going to kill you both.”

“And then what?” Obi-Wan replied. “Your Master tells you well done, and you go back into hiding, while the next time you face the Jedi Order we’ll have been preparing for it? What about this is worth it?”

“Revenge!” Maul snarled. “At last, we will get revenge on the Jedi!”

“Revenge for something a thousand years ago?” Obi-Wan asked. “...even Master Yoda isn’t that old.”

He shrugged. “What I’m trying to say is that – are you really getting what you want? Or are you following the orders of your Master?”

“I am trying to meditate, here,” Qui-Gon said, kneeling between two of the force fields.

“It’s still a legitimate question,” Obi-Wan replied. “If at least one of us three does have to die, then don’t we at least all want to know why? Maul’s Master sent him here for something, but we don’t know what. Does Maul know? Or is he just going where he’s sent, into deadly peril, where his Master hasn’t even told him how many Jedi there are?”

He lifted his gaze, to catch Maul’s eye. “Has he been told as little as possible, to make him a weapon instead of a person?”

Maul snarled, then the energy gates began to deactivate.

Maul and Qui-Gon immediately engaged in a duel, and as soon as the gates in front of Obi-Wan deactivated he sprinted forwards.

The last one activated just before he reached it, and he stabbed his lightsaber into the projection systems. The whole laser gate shorted out, and Obi-Wan followed through to join his Master in an attack on Maul – then reached out his hand, suddenly yanking on Maul’s saberstaff with the Force.

That threw the Sith off, and Obi-Wan destroyed the staff in a single blow.

“Sorry,” he said. “That was very Niman of me.”

Maul stared at the two glowing lightsabers pointed at him.

“...Jedi don’t kill prisoners, right?” he asked.

“If you’ve committed any crimes, then that might eventually happen,” Obi-Wan said. “But that would be up to a trial. I don’t actually think you’ve done any crimes except trying to run over Anakin with a swoop bike and one count of assault… so that probably wouldn’t happen, no.”

He glanced at Qui-Gon. “Does that sound right?”

“I’m not even going to interfere here, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon replied. “You’re clearly better at defensive negotiations than me.”

“Defensive negotiations?” Maul asked.

“Negotiations involving Soresu,” Qui-Gon explained.

“In that case…” Maul said, then paused. “I have a new person I want to get revenge on. He’s called Darth Sidious, and he did want a benefit from attacking this wretched place.”

He grinned. “He wanted to be elected Chancellor, using the sympathy for his own planet.”

Obi-Wan made an interested noise.

“Well,” he said. “That’s a very impressive revenge, achieved quickly. My compliments!”

[zz0mbi3]

𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: 𝒐𝒃𝒊-𝒘𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒉���𝒍𝒑 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒋𝒆𝒅𝒊 𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔. 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝒐𝒃𝒊-𝒘𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑫

Obi-Wan never wanted to find you pretty.

Obi-Wan never wanted to think of you as someone more than a mere mission. He never wanted to think of you as someone more than a political figure.

Yet, Obi-Wan wanted to think of you as someone just for him. 

The Jedi were strict on their rules. No falling in love. No connections other than the one to the Force and the duty they were pushed into from birth. 

Obi-Wan tried to remind himself of this, he forced himself to see reason, but reason didn’t agree with him. Reason argued.

'Is it truly so wrong to love someone? Is it truly so wrong to have connections? That was the danger of it, wasn’t it? That’s what the Jedi were keeping me from, falling in love?'

But Obi-Wan couldn’t help it.

Even as he stood at the doors of your throne room, he was reminded of how he was just a young boy, and you were just a young queen.

This distant planet he had found himself on, this vessel of new life he had never been acquainted with before, blessed by the paradise of your company. 

His fingers rested on the hilt of his saber, the metal warm from his skin. He kept his eyes on the ground beneath his boots. He was sure Qui-Gon would be back soon to excuse him for the night…but Obi-Wan didn’t want to leave. Not when you were sitting so peacefully in the throne room, someone for him to adore.

He lifted his blue eyes from the floor to once again look at you, his movements urged by helpless desire. 

You were a sight. He swore it on the grounds of his oath, he had never laid eyes on a beauty like you.

You were so mundane, just sitting on your throne, your legs crossed beneath your stunning silver gown. The fabric draped itself down the seat, the white of the tiles shimmering with the reflection of the fabric. It was as if you were swimming in a sea of glitter, and it brought out the lively shine in your eyes. 

His eyes raked over you, how your hair was pulled into a dramatic hairstyle, fitting around the crown on your head. His eyes lit at the moonlight dancing off your skin, a sight he had gotten used to when he realized that the sun never rose on your planet. 

When you turned your gaze away from the window, meeting his, he lowered his head again. His face turned bright red, burning with the shame of his disrespect to the Force and the fear that you would hate him for shamelessly staring. 

His chest nearly exploded when he heard you laugh softly instead. What a beautiful sound to him. He had always enjoyed soft sounds, ones that could war against the clashing of sabers during the war, the shooting of blasters that kept his thoughts occupied so often her barely rested. He could rest on the sound of your joy.

“You don’t need to keep your head bent like that, you know?” Your voice slightly echoed across the nearly empty room. “Unless you want to hurt yourself.”

He exhaled a laugh through his nose, his lips curled up in a smile. He brushed the padawan braid out of his face as he straightened up, still unable to meet your gaze.

“Perhaps I was trying to,” he jests, shrugging his shoulders as if he wasn't sure. “Maybe I wanted to try something new.”

Once again the soft sound of your laugh ran through his ears and straight to his already racing heart. He smiled softly without trying to fight it.

“Perhaps you were…” You stood up in your seat, the skirt of your gown straightening with your legs, still flowing around you like a sea of stars. 

The closer you stepped to him, the more antsy he got. There may have been a chance that you were just preparing to leave the room. Though he wasn’t used to telling time on this planet, especially with the lack of sunlight, he was sure it was usually around the time you would retire for the night.

Instead, you walked over to the table at the side of the room, carefully pouring him a glass of Dorian Quill. 

His breath hitched when you held the cup out for him. 

“I shouldn’t-” He started, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, sweating. “I’m still on duty.”

You looked over at him with a calming smile, your head tilted to the side as if to ask if he truly believed that mattered to you. “One small drink won’t hurt you. Besides, I’m about to retire for the night. You won’t be on duty much longer.”

He wanted to be firm and insistent with you. He wanted to tell you no. But he didn’t. He walked over to you and took the glass from your hand, brushing his skin against the silver glove on your hand. 

“Thank you, Your Grace,” he smiled at you and bowed his head in respect, taking a careful sip of the alcoholic drink. 

“Oh, please, none of that,” you waved your covered hand at him in dismissal, sipping from a cup you poured for yourself. Somehow he had missed that. “No need to be so respectful, we’re equals.”

He coughed on his drink, swiftly swallowing the burning liquid down his throat. His eyes watered a bit, and he was reminded then that he had never drank before.

Qui-Gon would laugh at him, surely. 

“I beg to differ…” his voice comes out amongst wheezes. He tried to maintain composure, eager to not embarrass himself in your presence.

He was sure doing so would make him drive his own saber through his chest to save him from the pain of your judgment.

“I am the one guarding you, not the other way around.”

You simply hummed in response, and his heart spiked at the thought that he had offended you somehow. However, when your lips quirked into a grin once again, he calmed down once again. 

“I wasn’t the one who called for that order,” you shook your head at the thought. “I don’t need protection. Everyone else likes to think so. It’s idiotic. A true waste of Jedi talent to have them stand at attention all day and wait for the near-impossible chance someone wants to kill me."

He merely nodded. He wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe you didn’t want him there with you, maybe you wished he would leave. Perhaps his presence was making you feel as if no one trusted you to take care of yourself. 

'No, no, that's not true. She wouldn’t have given me a drink if you disliked his company.'

“I do, however, appreciate that they sent you.”

His face went pink with that statement. Did you appreciate him? His company?

“You flatter me, Your Gr-”

“On the contrary,” you cut him off, and he immediately shuts his mouth. He’d go quiet just to listen to you speak any day. “I’ve never met a Jedi like you. You’re so…calm, yet wise. I can look at you and see infinite knowledge behind your eyes and still feel as if you aren’t trying to best me.”

Oh, you were truly flattering him now. Building up his low ego, one he didn’t even know he wanted to be built up. Your words made a blush spread to his ears and he felt the back of his neck grow hot. He cleared his throat and placed his now-empty cup down on the table. 

“I am simply just well-trained,” he insisted, looking into your eyes. He tried to hide how difficult it was to pull his gaze away from you. It was as if you were a gravity pull that wouldn’t let go of him. “Truly, I owe everything to the other Jedi around me.”

“And so humble,” you praised. “I did get lucky when they gave me you.”

His heartbeat sped up once again.

You thought you were lucky to have him. You, the young Queen of a distant planet, thought you were lucky to have a lowly Padawan there to watch you.

He could almost hear the Jedi scolding him for his delight at that.

He was starting to not care about them.

“Well, I-” he stumbled on his words, absolutely flustered. “I’m not-”

You continued to smile at him, a sight that would occupy his dreams for days to follow. “You are. You’re not proud, you’re happy where you are. You don’t want more from your title…”

The words of praise from you were just stacking up in his mind, he was so overly happy that you were so observant of him, that you genuinely cared that he was there. 

Unfortunately, his heart sank in disappointment when your handmaiden stuck her head into the room, calling you to your chambers to prepare for bed. He lowered his gaze back to the floor, tapping his foot against the tile. 

“Your Grace-”

He was cut off when your lips pressed against his cheek, your gloved hand pressing against his opposite cheek to hold him steady. Your thumb brushed against his skin for a moment, and he smiled, showing some teeth.

When you pulled back, he gazed into your eyes for a while. His own were wide in shock and awe, his heart was so close to exploding. 

“Have a good night, Obi-Wan,” you said with one last kiss to his cheek and stepped away, the heels of your shoes clicking against the tile floor. “I hope to see you at breakfast in the morning?”

He nodded meekly, in a daze. He shook it off after a moment. “Anything you wish.”

You smiled softly and bowed your head to him, and he returned the gesture, hand over his chest. 

Thank the Force Qui-Gon wasn’t there to see how red his face was at the moment.

[cosmicmordecai]

Im so tired of the Ki-Adi-Mundi hate just because he is not in direct favor of some fandom favorites here:

It’s not crazy he didn’t believe Qui-Gon initially like DAMN that does sound crazy and unlikely if you really thought the Sith were dead for a millennia. This also ignores the fact that the Jedi Council believed his claim had merit , something FANDOM ignores in general because people were too focused the Council dared to tell True Jedi™️ Qui-Gon “no” on training Anakin & how “mean” they were to Anakin to realize Mundi was the one to point out the events undergone would draw out the Queen’s attacker (Maul) & Windu tasked Qui-Gon on unearthing the attacker & believed it was “the clue needed to unravel the MYSTERY of the SITH”.

It’s not his fault Ahsoka looked hella guilty & he believed it. It’s really hard not to say Ahsoka didn’t shoot herself in the foot when she went through all of Barris’s traps to make her look hells guilty, which included:

Killing Leta whole hiding her presence to implicate Asoka while having also told Leta prior Ahsoka would help her should she get in trouble before the operation to set her up.

Leading Ahsoka to escape a detention facility while making it look like she killed guards on her way out (mind you, it’s Clones making this call that she’s doing this) [Had Ahsoka stayed in it, she would of saved herself a LOT of the trouble she ended up in.]

Seen later conspiring with Ventress, a known war criminal with ties to the Sith & CIS. Like given Ventress wasn’t even of interest to the case initially, it literally didn’t help Ahsoka because it made her look even worse. Her only counter to that on trial was they had a “understanding”

She both resisted arrest & then was found in the same place that made the nanotech bombs used in the Temple bombing.

Like i’m sorry, I would of thought Ahsoka was guilty too if she weren’t a protagonist and we didn’t watched that unfolded . That is not Ahsoka or the Council fault because that was some methodical planning & improvising on Barris’s part, which is the real problem or one of the big ones on that arc.

Also, Mundi’s marriage is not the result of anything Lucas did when he was still spearheading nor is it involved in the actual canon stuff. The fact it’s dubious even in LEGENDS & never hinted in any of the big media should tell you a lot.And even if it was, its not a legitimate argument for Anakin. The Council in that alternate continuity gave that exception with caveats & expectations which Mundi adhered too under special circumstances involving birth rates, which is weird but a hella lot different situation then the notion Anakin can shoot his shot & be both married & adhere to Jedi commitments.

I mean really, Mundi is hated for daring to be a character whose idea contrasts other “favorited” protagonists & thinking he is a case of exceptionalism in contrast to someone who gets it way more often than he should.

[halfagonyandhope]

just as i do

Qui-Gon survives the events on Naboo, and Obi-Wan has to reckon with his Master's choice to take another Padawan. For Obi, there is only one way forward.

---

He feels sick.

Obi-Wan Kenobi steps off the passenger freighter and takes in his first view of Sundari in nearly seven years. His first thought is that the people who surround him look freer, happier, than he remembers them being all those years ago.

His second thought is that he really should have commed Satine ahead of time to give her a warning.

He grimaces as he joins the throng of people waiting to catch public transport into the city. There are a lot of other things he really should have thought through, too, but here he is anyway.

Obi-Wan boards the speeder.

As the speeder takes off through the tunnel, bringing them inside the domed city, Obi-Wan’s eyes scan their route. Little of what he remembers is still there - mostly because there hadn’t been much by the way of infrastructure the last time he’d been on Mandalore. The way it’s been rebuilt in the intervening years is a marvel, and he feels his throat tighten as he takes in the new buildings, gleaming in the distance.

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath, his hand moving to the pocket of his clock. His fingers curl around the rock that Qui-Gon had given him for his thirteenth birthday. Besides his lightsaber, it’s his only possession.

And his lightsaber doesn’t really even feel like his anymore.

Which is strange, really, because the lightsaber had been the first Jedi weapon in a millennium to slay a Sith Lord, a feat impressive enough that some on the High Council had argued for Obi-Wan to be Knighted. But the argument had become moot before it was resolved.

Obi-Wan had walked away from the Jedi.

He’d known there really couldn’t be any other choice, not after Qui-Gon had taken the boy on as a Padawan. Obi-Wan couldn’t stay. Not after he’d been so easily discarded, and in full view of the Council no less. He’d already heard the beginnings of rumors spread through the Temple, quicker than wildfire, everything he’d built going up in flames.

He doesn’t think he’ll be able to forgive Qui-Gon for how easily he’d been tossed aside. And harboring such resentment - well, no true Jedi would do that.

So after he and his Master had defeated the Sith, Obi-Wan had pulled Qui-Gon aside. He didn’t think Qui-Gon understood, not really, and he’d been able to feel his Master’s frustration and confusion. But Obi-Wan’s conscience had been clear.

He hadn’t waited for the celebration ceremony in Theed. He hadn’t even said goodbye to the boy they’d found on Tatooine.

He’d just immediately boarded the freighter to get off of the planet.

Now, the speeder jerks to a stop, and Obi-Wan realizes they’ve arrived at City Center. He disembarks and begins to walk along the streets he’d long ago memorized. The buildings may be new, but the bones of the city have remained the same, and he is grateful.

Obi-Wan approaches the formidable Sundari Royal Palace and looks up, blinking against the sun’s reflected rays on the transparisteel.

He really, really should have commed Satine. He’s not even sure she’s on planet. Why had he thought this was a good idea?

He sighs. Well, in fairness, he hadn’t really thought the plan was wise. It had just been the only way forward. He hasn’t stopped to think about what will happen if Satine sends him away.

He pauses.

Surely she’s not betrothed, or married? Surely such news would have made its way to Coruscant?

Surely he would know…right?

Obi-Wan scratches his head, still startled when his fingers don’t brush against his Padawan braid.

He takes a deep breath and moves to the guards standing just outside the massive doors. He’s got no plan at all and nothing to his name but…well, his actual name. He hopes that’s enough.

“I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi,” he says firmly to the first Mandalorian Royal Guardsman he encounters. “I’m here to see the Duchess.”

He can’t make out much of the man’s expression due to the elaborate, opal helmet he wears, but Obi-Wan can see his eyes. They widen, and the man glances at another guard. The second guard nods. “This way,” says the first, and Obi-Wan swallows nervously as the guard turns and beckons him to follow.

They enter the palace, and Obi-Wan can’t keep himself from asking, “She was expecting me?”

The guard doesn’t even look over at him. “No,” he says. “But we’ve had orders ever since her coronation to let you in, if you showed.”

Obi-Wan almost trips over his cloak as the words sink in.

He’d known he would have left the Order for her all those years ago if she’d said the word. 

Maybe it hadn’t been fair of him to put the onus on her to speak.

Obi-Wan is familiar with the transparisteel halls, the teals and blues and greens, almost as much as he is with the Temple’s walls, despite having spent only limited time in the palace toward the end of his mission on Mandalore. The palace has been restored since then, of course, with new artwork and windows and furniture, and it feels so much like her that he thinks his heart might actually ache with longing.

Then they turn the corner, and another guard opens the door to the Grand Salon.

“Your Grace,” says Obi-Wan’s guide as they enter, and Obi-Wan looks up.

The room is magnificent, sure, but it’s nothing compared to the young woman seated at the throne in the front of the room, deep in conversation with several of her advisors and guards. She looks up, bright eyes alert and discerning, and then she spots Obi-Wan.

“Obi?” she says, her voice almost not there, just above a whisper.

Obi-Wan approaches the throne and bows his head in deference. “Your Grace,” he says.

Satine Kryze glances at her entourage. “Leave us,” she says, and as they do, she stands.

She reaches for him, and he offers his hand as she moves down the steps. Her other hand reaches to where his Padawan braid once was, and Obi-Wan vaguely registers the sound of the doors closing behind the guards as they leave.

“What’s happened, Obi?” says Satine, her brow furrowed.

Obi-Wan takes her in as he considers what to say. She’s wearing a gown of her clan colors, clearly inspired by native Mandalorian flowers. Her headdress echoes the lines of traditional Mandalorian helmets, but this too is also softened by floral imagery, particularly the white lilies that have been carefully placed in her hair.

Obi-Wan catches her hand and holds it to his cheek.

“I’m…” he begins. Then he starts again. “I’m suddenly in need of accommodation,” he admits.

He places her hand between them and flips it over, and then he sets his Padawan braid in her palm.

Satine’s fingers tighten around it. “You are always welcome here, Obi.”

He bites his lip. “And what of Ben?”

“He is most welcome, as well.” Satine’s expression softens. “I haven’t made any vows beyond those to my people, if that’s what you’re asking.” She pauses, considering him. “What’s happened?” she repeats.

“I left the Order,” he murmurs. “Master Qui-Gon took another apprentice - ”

He's not sure if it's electricity or fire that flashes in Satine’s eyes. “He what?”

“He discovered a boy. He said he’s never seen someone so strong in the Force, said he had to train him.” Obi-Wan drops his gaze. “But no master can have two Padawans.”

He can feel the intensity of her emotions through the Force, can sense her cold fury. “I don’t understand,” she says.

“Me either,” Obi-Wan admits, and it’s freeing, being able to tell someone this.

“Have you passed your Trials? Did I miss something?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “You didn’t miss anything,” he says. “Master Qui-Gon hadn’t spoken to me about the Trials, and then after finding this boy, he suddenly told me I was ready to face them.” He looks at her helplessly. “The Jedi are all I’ve ever known, Satine. And then with just a few words, he made it clear I never really knew them at all.”

“I’d like to have a few choice words with your Master,” says Satine, and the sentence is nearly a snarl.

“He’s not technically my Master any longer,” whispers Obi-Wan.

Satine sets her shoulders. “No matter,” she says. “You’ll be part of Clan Kryze now. It’s a vast improvement anyway. We have far better stylists.”

And he has to laugh at her satisfied look because otherwise he’d begin to cry, which he knows is exactly what she’d intended.

“Come,” she says, pulling him after her. “I assume you’ve been in hyperspace for days. Let’s get you some proper food - none of those horrendous ration bars - and a proper shower. Then I want you to tell me everything.”

---

“I’m so sorry, Obi.”

Hours later, they’re sitting in her private garden. Night has fallen, and Satine has made good on her promise to feed him. And she’s done more: she’d sent for a set of clothing, including a tunic, trousers, and boots. After days of wearing the same attire - well, years of it, really - it had been a relief to shed the Jedi tabard.

The Mandalorian fabric is soothing against Obi-Wan's skin.

And he quite likes that color of his tunic matches Satine’s gown. He thinks it can’t have been a coincidence.

Obi-Wan looks up at Satine, having just finished bringing her up to speed. Twenty-five years of age now, she’s truly more beautiful than ever, even more so because she’s removed her headdress for the evening and allowed her hair to fall loosely to her shoulders under the cover of the night sky.

“I’m sorry, too,” he says.

“And Qui-Gon hasn’t reached out?”

“He doesn’t exactly have a way to contact me,” Obi-Wan admits. “I left my comm device behind, as it's technically the property of the Temple. I’m just glad he didn’t ask for my lightsaber.”

He’d left the saber in Satine’s quarters earlier when he’d changed into his new clothes. Given how at peace the Force feels to him on Mandalore, he hadn’t seen the need to continue to carry it.

At least, not right now. Not this evening.

Satine reaches over to cover his hand with hers. “I’ll get you another commlink. You should call him. Let him know you’re alright.”

Would he even care? wonders Obi-Wan, and Satine seems to guess what he’s thinking.

“You know he’s worrying about you,” she says.

“I know,” Obi-Wan says. “I think maybe he can stand to worry a bit longer.”

He sighs.

“I know it’s not fair for my entire opinion of him to be shaded by this. I know it’s not fair to dichotomize people into good or bad. People are more complex than that. But his choice felt pretty black and white to me.”

“I think it’s natural for you to be upset,” says Satine. “Maybe you should just allow yourself to be angry for a while.”

He nods. “You know what? I think I will. It’s something the Jedi never would have let me do.”

Satine leans into him. “I never understood the Jedi’s stance on emotion. It felt like…I don’t know. Maybe at one point it was useful advice, but then it was transliterated through so many generations, each changing it further from the original interpretation, until it finally became something else entirely.”

 “I never understood it, either,” admits Obi-Wan. “Yet another hint that I wasn’t ready for the Trials.” Then he looks out into the garden. “But you’ve clearly faced yours. I mean, look at this place. Look at Sundari. Look at what you’ve accomplished. This is the longest Mandalore has been at peace in recent history.”

Satine sighs. “I’m glad you seem to think so. Right now, no one seems to think those accomplishments are at all important.”

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows. “How can that possibly be?”

Satine waves a hand dismissively. “I haven’t taken a consort,” she says, “let alone produced an heir. These things weren’t always so important to my people. But I think, after the war, something changed. As much as I dislike it, I’ve become a symbol. And me conceiving a child would show, symbolically at least, that Mandalore has a future.”

Obi-Wan can’t help but gape at her. “Your constituents are mad because you haven't given birth?”

“Wait until it leaks that I cannot,” Satine huffs.

Obi-Wan feels his throat tighten. “What?” he whispers.

Satine glances at him. “Well, obviously you knew this at the time, but when we were on the lam, I never got my cycle. And the truth is: I’d never had it before then. And I’ve never had one after. It’s quite common, apparently, for women living in severely stressful conditions.”

And Obi-Wan thinks this is what it feels like - for a heart to break for someone else.

“Are you…” he begins. “Are you okay? That’s…that’s a lot to take in on your own.”

Satine shrugs. “I’d been ambivalent about children of my own for some time,” she admits. “Mostly, I think, because I had no desire to bring life into this world amidst all this violence. It’s frustrating, however, to have the choice taken from me before I could decide myself.”

“I’m sorry, Satine.”

She gives him a sad smile. “I grieved the knowledge when I first received it, but it was some time ago. I’m alright now, truly.”

A slight breeze brushes past them, rustling the fabric of Satine’s gown.

“Is it expected of the Duke or Duchess, to have a child?” Obi-Wan asks eventually.

“If I do not adopt, then the Duchy will pass to my sister when I die. At any rate, I shall not be around to be bothered by what happens.” And Obi-Wan is pleased to see a slight gleam in her eye.

“Do you think you might? Adopt, that is?” Obi-Wan wonders. 

“I’ve thought about it,” acknowledges Satine. “I worry if such a child would be accepted.”

“You said yourself that you’re a symbol these days. Maybe adopting would be embraced more widely if you did so. Mandalorian nuclear families won’t look…well, traditional for quite some time, thanks to the war. You taking in a foundling would probably go a long way in healing, in moving forward.”

She quirks a brow at him. “I hadn’t considered it in quite that light before,” she says. “You’d make a fine Duke Consort, you know.”

Obi-Wan can’t help the blush that stains his cheeks. “That’s kind of why I’m here,” he admits.

Satine grins at this. “I figured as much.” She brushes a kiss to his cheek. “If you plan to stay, people will talk. We’ll want to get ahead of the rumors. The press here are almost as bad as those on Coruscant, you know.”

“What exactly are you saying?”

“My team will need to announce our engagement, and honestly, I see no point in waiting. I knew I loved you since the moment you came to my aid all those years ago. My feelings have not changed.”

“Nor have mine,” says Obi-Wan quickly.

“I hope not,” says Satine. “And I hope those feelings are strong enough to sustain you through the pandemonium that is sure to follow in the months ahead. Mandalorians love to throw a party, you see, and a royal wedding is a fabulous excuse to do so.”

Obi-Wan swallows. “Do you think I’ll stand up to their scrutiny?”

Satine places her palm on his cheek, turning his head so that he meets her eyes. “If you’re worried about your Jedi heritage, let me remind you that you are a former Jedi. And - more than that - your actions while a Jedi saved my life, time and time again.”

“But - ”

Satine leans in to press her lips against his. “Insecure man,” she whispers against his skin.

She kisses him again.

“They will love you just as I do.”

And then she folds him into her arms.

[grumfield]

I need to hear more about sondad anakin and obi-wan trying to get his padawan to parent him 👀👀👀

LFMAO there’s so much to this

Ok so there’s a scene in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Mac gets upset because their old pedo gym teacher tried to molest his other friends when they were kids but not him and starts worrying it’s because he wasn’t special or cute enough. And this is literally like the closest thing I can compare to the complex Rogue Planet/Jedi Apprentice/Jedi Quest continuity Obi-Wan has lfmao

This legends continuity of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s relationship is like deeply fucked in a sadly funny way because Qui-Gon is the most self centered neglectful narcissist on the planet who literally doesn’t give a single fuck about Obi-Wan at all and constantly tries to drop him. Obi-Wan as a kid wasn’t good enough to be a Jedi so was sent to work on a farm and then BEGGED Qui-Gon to take him on, meanwhile Qui-Gon only mentored and cares about Extra Special Boys and Obi-Wan was Very Unspecial to him. And all of Obi-Wan’s behavior in Jedi Apprentice is basically just him trying to appease and get approval from a guy who dgaf about him. In trying to be an Ideal Jedi Obi-Wan only further makes Qui-Gon not like him which just creates a really weird dynamic and Qui-Gon tries to ditch Obi wan like on 3 separate occasions

So basically a lot of Obi-Wan’s behavior is always from a place of seeking this fatherly/mentor approval that was only given sparingly. He’s always like. Trying to be the best Jedi ever best most adoptable dog at the pound and it never pays off because 1) Qui-Gon doesn’t like loyal dogs and 2) before he could ever be good enough to get Knighted (Qui-Gon didn’t pass him for his his first knighting ceremony he failed it which is why he was a padawan at 25) He DIES!! And also knows that there was another Special Boy lined up.

Anyways I’ve talked a lot on here about his orthodoxy but in this sense I’ve always read it as what he falls back on (at this age) because of personal insecurity and a sudden lack of potential affirmation and order that he sought in Qui-Gon— he never got the confirmation that his way of being a Jedi was ever good enough, so he cares a lot about being the platonic ideal of a good Jedi and is intent on making anakin into that too. But he still yearns for that affirmation or whatever

Anyways this is all leading up to say that a lot of his interactions with Anakin at this stage are sort of projecting this and also sort of getting frustrated that this Special Boy who is supposed to be THE chosen one, the ultimate Jedi savior, is behaving in a very un-Jedi way. He is a priest getting frustrated that Jesus doesn’t know the Catholic Mass. Like he spends a lot of time looking for Jedi guidance in Anakin’s inherent existence the way he sought guidance in Qui-Gon, and is sort of similarly coming up short because Anakin is a baby who wants to play toys.

Not to oedipize it too much too but in Rogue Planet Obi-Wan specifically deep (very distinctly non-parental and VERY weird) love for Anakin really early and is really almost obsessively admires how powerful he is, but in JQ starts to become more critical of his inability to embody the Jedi teachings (ergo teach Obi-Wan how he’s supposed to be a good Jedi) and it REALLY REALLY feels like a kid who idolizes the their father starting to come down when they realize their father isn’t necessarily as perfect as they thought.

But like Obi-Wan’s own withholding nature makes Anakin seem his approval especially as a kid and so. Like. It’s this weird circular messy thing where they both want each other’s approval and affirmation but don’t get it. They’re both like please parent me! And then best I can offer you is brotherwife husbandson

And like!! It’s so weird!! IT’S SO WEIRD!! Anyways the most receptive Obi-Wan ever is to Anakin is when he gets “go to your room young man”d by him

[queer-irritator]

Mkay, for Kenobi I feel like we always skip over how much potential there is for Padawan!Obi-Wan x Padawan!Reader.

Kenobi (bless his soul) had his heart broken by when the mission was over and didn’t know how to handle it, so he goes to his closest friend since a youngling; reader. (It could be fem. Reader, but it doesn’t have to be, that’s just what I identify as 😊.) And they both develop a little crush on one another over time. And from there they both just love one another as “friends”, until the end of ROTS when they realize they can’t be without one another.

Hopefully this feeds your mind :)

I love this!! I love it so much that this has to be two parts! Not sure if you wanted smut, but I threw a little in there ;) Also not proof read bc it's me

CW: Smut, fluff, afab anatomy, no gendered language, alcohol references, hurt/comfort

Word count: 3,238

Part 1

You met Obi-wan on your first day in the Jedi temple on Courscant, he was the first person to really become your friend, even though he was two years older than you. You would always find a spot next to each other during Master Yoda’s training and lessons as younglings. There were a handful of times the two of you were given a talking to from multiple different Masters after you “disturbed the class”. To be fair, it was mostly you being disruptive, and Obi-wan giggling at your antics. Eventually you both learned your lesson to stay focused during training after it was hammered into your head enough times. As you grew older together you would sneak into each other’s sleeping quarters to goof off. 

By the time you were 12 you had gotten into a routine of having Friday night hang-outs together. Switching whose room you snuck off to every other week, you hoarded snacks from the week for your night together. One week in particular you had convinced him to watch one of your favorite movies. 

“You’re gonna love it!” You assured the boy next to you, elbowing him in the side playfully.

“I don’t see how that’s possible…” Obi-wan sighed dramatically and leaned his back against the wall of your bed. 

You rolled your eyes and opened three different bags of snacks you have been hiding, Obi-wan’s hand immediately dove into the first bag you opened. After starting the movie on your holo-projector you mirrored his position and began to munch on your snacks. 

The comfort and consistency of having Obi-wan by your side became so familiar, so when he came to tell you he was going away on a mission, the shock took your breath away.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Obi-wan admitted, lowering his gaze from your eyes to the floor. 

The stinging behind your eyes and the burning in your throat threatened an incoming flood of tears. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. If you were to speak you knew you would just end up crying. 

He finally glanced up at you. He could almost feel his heart break seeing the well of tears in your eyes.

He softly called your name, eyebrows knitted together in concern. He stepped toward you and wrapped his arms around you, and you instinctively clung onto him and sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized between sniffles, it was embarrassing that he was seeing you like this. You weren’t aware of it at the time, but he had his own tears trailing down his cheeks. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He blinked away his tears and let go of the hug to look into your eyes, “We’ll talk everyday, even if it’s just a binary message, okay?” 

You nodded as you used your sleeve to wipe your tears and snot. You knew this day would come, Obi-wan had turned 15 and been training as Qui-gon’s padawan for two years now. It was time for his first mission off-world. 

Qui-gon approached the doorway to your room where you and Obi-wan stood saying your good-bye’s. 

“It’s time to go, Obi-wan.” He spoke calmly.

“Yes, Master.” He replied obediently. 

He gave you one last hug and exchanged one last good-bye before he turned around and walked out your door.

For the first few weeks, you had both kept your promise to talk everyday. But, life started to get in the way. You became a padawan, assigned to Plo Koon and Obi-wan was becoming more engrossed in his mission. You still made time to chat a few times a month, but it wasn’t as often as either of you would have liked. 

Obi-wan ended up staying on his mission for over a year. He would frequently talk to you about the Dutchess Satine he and his Master were protecting. You could tell by the way he talked about her that he thought of her as more than a friend. Whenever you would elude to the fact that he obviously had feelings for her his face would flush and he would change the subject. 

You could hide your jealousy, but you couldn’t deny it. You never thought of Obi-wan as anything other than a friend until you realized you didn’t have him so close to you anymore. When you came to realize Satine wasn’t just a crush he would get over, you began to explore your own romantic interests. Often times you would just make up stories of someone you liked or held hands with just to see how Obi-wan would react. He always seemed happy for you, but his smile and words didn’t always match what his eyes showed. 

One night you were reading a book in your bed when you heard a soft knock at your door. You closed your book with a sigh and pushed yourself off the bed to answer your door. 

“Yes?” You spoke before you could fully take in who was standing before you. 

It was Obi-wan. He surely seemed to have grown a lot for being away for just a year. He looked older, of course. But he also seemed wiser, like he had gone through many hard lessons. Before he could speak, you engulfed him in a death-grip of a hug. 

“You’re back!?” You exclaimed, clinging onto him like he would disappear if you let go. 

His arms softly returned your embrace and he rested his chin on your head. 

“I’m back.” he confirmed. 

Sensing something was off, you gingerly let go of him and looked into his eyes, searching for an answer to your unspoken questions. Becoming more in tune with his emotions you sensed a deep sadness and loss. 

“What happened?” Your voice had lowered, afraid that something terrible had happened on his mission.

“I couldn’t do it.” He returned your same tone of softness. 

“Do what?” Your brows furrowed together in confusion and concern. You gently led him into your room, the door automatically closing behind him. 

“I couldn’t leave the order… For Satine.” He finally admitted, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. 

A sad sigh escaped your lips as you sat next to him, your knee brushing against his. You knew how deeply he cared for Satine, how much pain he must be in. But part of you couldn’t help feel some relief. You decided that you were relieved no one was dead or seriously harmed, not that you wouldn’t be losing Obi-wan. 

“I’m so sorry, Obi.” You placed your hand on his back and gently rubbed small circles with your hand. 

He was hunched forward, head drooping down and you saw a tear fall from his cheek and leave a wet stain on his clothing. As your heart broke in two, you pulled him into another hug. 

Obi-wan wrapped an arm around you but had pulled away slightly to look into your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” You repeated yourself, your voice barely audible. 

He lifted his free hand to cup the side of your face and gently brushed his thumb over your cheek. Before you could question his actions, his lips were connected to yours. In any other situation you would be ecstatic to be sharing your first kiss with the boy you grew up with. The boy you had been unknowingly longing for since you very first met. But his kiss felt desperate, insecure, and it was laced in pain. You were frozen for the few seconds his lips were on you. When he had pulled away he looked terrified. 

“Obi-wan…” You began, but were cut off by more tears falling from your best friend’s eyes. 

All you could do was wrap your arms around him, and this time he just fell into you, sobbing. You placed a hand on the back of his head to hold him closer while shushing him and telling him it was okay. 

You held him in your arms all night until he eventually fell asleep. You stayed awake for a few hours switching between rubbing his back and stroking his head.

The next morning he tried to apologize for his actions, but before he could find the words to get out you were shaking your head and telling him not to worry about it. That was the last time you spoke of your kiss, but definitely not the last time you thought about it. 

-

Time marched on, Obi-wan came to terms that his feelings and attachment to Satine could not progress if he were to continue his Jedi training. The two of you followed this trend of hurt and loss followed by getting too close to each other. Despite the two of you agreeing that you wouldn’t share anymore kisses or stay awake until the early hours of the morning holding each other, it never failed to occur. One of you would be hurting and seek the other out for comfort, but in the feelings of despair and lowness, you clung to each other in ways you both knew you shouldn’t. It was always just short kisses, holding hands, laying in bed together, until Master Qui-gon had died. You didn’t think it would be possible to see Obi-wan in more pain than after leaving Satine, but you were sadly mistaken.

It was a few weeks after he died, everyone was beginning to settle into the new normality of life without the Master’s presence. And Obi-wan was once again knocking at your door late in the evening. Usually when he came to see you this time of night he couldn’t sleep or had an extra hard day. 

“Come in.” You called as you closed your holo-screen. 

You were studying for your trials to become a Jedi Knight, specifically a Jedi Investigator. Obi-wan had gained the rank of Jedi Knight after defeating Darth Maul, excusing him from performing the trials, and rightfully so. Everything had changed so drastically in a such a short amount of time. Qui-gon was gone, Obi-wan defeated a sith, became a knight and gained a padawan. 

“Still studying so late?” Obi-wan questioned you.

“Yeah, well not everyone is as naturally gifted as you are, Jedi Knight Kenobi.” You teased him.

He chuckled, but you could tell he had an especially mischievous demeanor to him tonight. 

“What are you up to?” You raised an eyebrow at him out of suspicion. 

“Oh, nothing.” He eluded your question as he walked around your room casually, “I was just curious if you’d like to get a drink?” 

You smiled at him, but held your suspicion, “Sure… is that all you were curious about?”

“Maybe.” Is all he said to you as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, observing your movements.

You rolled your eyes and slipped on your shoes, “You’re a dick.” You said, elbowing him in the side before leading the way out of your room. You could hear his chuckle as he trailed behind you. 

The two of you walked to a hotel a few blocks away that had a nice bar and restaurant in the lobby. Obi-wan led the way towards the bar and ordered the both of you a drink. You leaned against the bar, using your elbow to prop yourself up slightly.

“So, how has Anakin been doing?” You initiated the usual small talk.

“Very well, actually. He’s a quick learner.” Obi-wan casually bragged about his new padawan.

“I’m not surprised, he has a great teacher.” You smiled at him as a droid set down your drinks. 

You handed one of the glasses to Obi-wan and clinked your glass with his lightly, “To new beginnings.” You toasted and took a healthy gulp of your drink.

Obi-wan nodded in agreement and mirrored your actions, “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about tonight.” 

“Mh, is that so?” You questioned him, continuing to sip your drink. You could notice that he had more of a nervous energy now that the conversation topic had switched. 

“Yes, but I might need another drink first.” He chuckled slightly, finishing his drink. 

You were starting to become suspicious of what was on his mind. Could he be trying to get up the nerve to tell you he was leaving again? 

“What’s going on, Obi? You know you can talk to me about anything.” You set your empty glass down and placed your hand on his shoulder. 

He took a moment to order another drink before turning his attention to you, “I know. I’ve just been thinking… about us.” 

A puzzled look came over your face, “What do you mean? What about us?” 

You felt your heartbeat start to increase. All you could imagine was him telling you that you two were two close and it was against the Jedi code. That you can’t have a friendship any longer. Obi-wan downed the shot he ordered as soon as it was set on the table. It must be bad if he can’t even talk to you sober. 

He lowered his voice slightly, “How we go to each other at our darkest times… You’ve always been there for me.”

You gave him a sweet smile, “Of course, you’re there for me too. That’s what friends are for.”

“See, that’s the issue. I’ve been thinking about you in ways I shouldn’t… More than a friend.” He had been inching closer to you. 

A blush crept onto your cheeks. The intimate moments you’ve shared were never something you discussed outside of the heat of the moment. It was the unspoken rule you had. But, Obi-wan did seem to be breaking all types of rules lately. 

When you didn’t give him any response besides staring into his piercing blue eyes, he moved even closer to you and placed a hand on the bar so it was gently on top of yours.

He leaned close to your ear and whispered, “I want you.” 

Suddenly your throat seemed dry, you had to clear it before you could get any words out, “I want you too.” 

He didn’t hesitate to plant a soft kiss on your lips. You moved your lips against his as your eyes fluttered closed. Whenever you felt Obi-wan’s body against yours, it felt like home. Like you could finally breathe and relax. He pulled away too soon for your liking.

“I got a room upstairs.” He informed you, resting his forehead against yours. 

You nodded as a grin spread across your lips, “Okay. Let’s go.” 

Before that night, the two of you had never had any sexual contact. There had been a few times Obi-wan got a boner in the middle of a heavy make-out session, but that was when you two would stop and he would be too embarrassed to stay in your presence any longer. It was a line the two of you had always been too scared to cross. Not because of each other, but because of the Jedi code, or if someone else would hear or see you. But tonight was different. It was perfect in its own, very Obi-wan way. There were some awkward moments at first and Obi-wan was uncharacteristically clumsy at times. But once you were both naked and he was on top of you, things came naturally. 

“You’re sure this is okay?” It must have been the tenth time Obi-wan was asking you.

“Yes, I’m sure.” You assured him as he was leaning over you, slightly sticky with sweat and concern plastered on his features. 

“Because I can stop if you’re not sure-” He began again, but you interrupted him by placing your hands on the side of his face. 

“Obi-wan Kenobi. I would very much like to have sex with you. I’m very ready and I’m very sure. If you are too, can you please put your dick in me.” You were staring into his eyes with every word you said. 

He chuckled slightly as his head dropped down, but then he nodded, “Okay.” 

He carefully guided himself and pushed through your entrance. You let a moan out as the feeling of his cock stretching and filling you up consumed all your senses. Obi-wan placed one hand on the side of your hip and used the other to hold himself up as he set forth a slow rocking motion. 

He experimented with different angles and quickly learned by the sounds you made and how your nails raked across his skin which ones worked the best. As the true gentleman he is, he spent most of the time making sure you were thoroughly satisfied. It wasn’t until you began to encourage him that he focused more on his own pleasure. 

As you were recovering from your third orgasm, you spoke up, “It’s your turn now, Obi.” 

Your chest was rising and falling heavily, your hair a mess from the pillows and Obi-wan’s hands, and a dark red flush across your face.

“But you look so beautiful like this. I don’t want it to end.” He protested, planting soft kisses on your neck and chest. 

You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair that he had recently started to grow out, “You can’t have all the fun.” 

You sat up and switched your position so you were on top of him now. 

“Oh, this should be fun.” He chuckled and rested a hand on your thigh and rubbed your skin gently with his thumb. 

“Just you wait.” You teased him as you slipped his cock back into you and began to rock your hips back and forth. 

You could tell he liked it by the way he shut up and tightened his grip on your thigh. This encouraged you to go faster and you held onto his forearm to help keep your balance. 

“Oh, stars.” He was almost whimpering as he watched you ride him. 

He couldn’t keep his hands to himself, he used his free hand to rub circles on your clit. You were both a moaning mess as you continued to please each other. It took everything to keep your eyes on Obi-wan, you wanted to see him come undone beneath you. It didn’t take much longer as you felt his cock twitching inside of you and Obi-wan’s eyes squeezed shut and his eyebrows knit together as he reached his orgasm. The sight alone would have been enough to get you off, but his thumb was still rubbing your clit when you reached your final orgasm of the night. 

After taking a moment for both of you to come down off your highs, you lifted your shaky legs and collapsed next to Obi-wan. He puts his arm around you and turned his head to kiss you on the forehead. You instinctively scooted closer to him and curled up against his side, hand resting on his chest. It was the first time neither of you felt guilt creeping into your minds. The first time there was no ‘We shouldn’t have done that’ or ‘It can’t happen again’. 

The two of you had come to the very delusional conclusion that you weren’t in violation of the Jedi code on two conditions. One, that you weren’t in a commited romantic relationship together, and two, that it didn’t become something you did regularly or often. It would be casual, beneficial even. Two friends and co-workers helping each other relieve stress. Of course it would remain a secret, but not because it was wrong, because your friendship was no one else’s business but yours. 

A/N: I'm gonna do my best to have second part up real soon 🫡

[icwasher]

This scene doesn't show up for a while, but I've been really excited about it so I decided to write it. Merry Christmas!

“And he didn’t even grieve when you died,” said Anakin. He punctuated the last word by punching the wall softly, as if he didn’t want to wake the sleeping Padawans in the next room. “I didn’t see him cry once. He acted like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t just lost the closest thing he had to a father.” He sat down heavily on the sofa, glowering. Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his chest. “Well,” he said, leaning against the counter and looking at the ground thoughtfully, “from what I’ve heard, he was pushing aside those feelings for you.” Even without probing, Qui-Gon could feel Anakin’s realization quivering through the room. Qui-Gon turned, catching a brief glimpse of Anakin’s thoughtful face, and opened the cabinets, finding a teapot and two cups nestled behind a half-full bottle of Correllian whiskey. He took them out and set them on the counter, saying, “I haven’t known Obi-Wan very long, but I do know that he tends to internalize. He doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions any other way. I imagine that he felt his grief would keep him from caring for you properly, so he tucked it away.” Qui-Gon filled the teapot with water and set it on the stove to boil. He looked back, seeing Anakin frowning, deep in thought. “It’s very different from how you process emotions, is it not?” Anakin scoffed. “Yeah. It is.” Busying himself with the collection of tea leaves in the cabinets—this older version of Obi-Wan had certainly gathered quite the collection—Qui-Gon continued speaking. “It’s not healthy to constantly internalize. Eventually, those emotions will find their way out, whether you want them to or not.” He turned a reproachful eye on Anakin, who was looking rather smug. “And neither is it healthy to let your emotions rule over you.” The grin on Anakin’s face fell. “You tend to lash out,” continued Qui-Gon. “You let your feelings govern your actions, and that can be just as detrimental as bottling them up.” The teakettle began to whistle and Qui-Gon lifted it from the stove. He poured hot water into the cups, the tea leaves already inside rising up, then settling at the bottom. He set the cups on a tray alongside the tin of sugar, then carried it to the low table beside the sofa. Anakin took a cup tentatively as Qui-Gon sat in the chair across from him. “It’s far healthier to acknowledge your emotions, examine why you feel them, then accept them and share them with the Force,” said Qui-Gon.  “Obi-Wan never explained it like that,” said Anakin, his voice bearing more than a hint of accusation. He sipped his tea carefully—it was still very hot. “What did he say?” asked Qui-Gon, picking up his own cup of tea. The older version of Obi-Wan had very good taste; the flavor was subtle but rich. Anakin frowned. “He just said to let my emotions go—into the Force.” He took another sip of his tea. “That never made much sense to me.” “Obi-Wan probably didn’t know what it meant either,” said Qui-Gon with a hint of a smile. “He probably thought it meant ignoring them. I suppose I never succeeded in instilling healthy methods of dealing with emotions.” He sighed. “Ah well. I suppose this is my second chance, then.”

[caprisun89bakerstreet]

Phantoms of the night

Pairing: (padawan) obi-wan kenobi x f!reader

Wordcount: 3.3k

Tags: hurt/comfort, nightmares, post phantom menace, obi-wan needs a hug, but so do you

Summary: With the recent loss of Qui Gon Jinn, Obi-wan has been struggling. But trying to keep it together as if the loss of Qui Gon didn’t impact you too is taking a toll on you. So when he seeks your comfort in the middle of the night you finally break.

Notes: one of my first fics and it’s not perfect but oh well, honestly just tired of looking at it so here it is

It’s been hard. And emotionally challenging. Sometimes you wonder how you’ve been able to keep it together without completely breaking down. When you came to his quarters after you’d heard the awful news, you tried your best not to break. Mainly for Obi-Wan's sake. Because he couldn’t stop sobbing when he broke in your arms, and your own tears followed soon after. When you were both done crying the sun was already starting to rise. But you were finally able to sleep.

The loss of Qui Gon Jinn would impact the both of you, more than either of you would realize in the long run. Qui Gon was someone you looked up to a lot. Sometimes you felt like he was your second master, simply because you were sent on so many missions with him and his padawan. That’s how you and Obi-Wan grew so close. But Qui Gon was not just a mentor, he felt like family. His steady force signature, his warm voice, his fascination with prophecies and the living force, those disapproving looks he’d always give you and Obi-Wan whenever you may or may not have ignored his direct orders…

But now he was gone. And it felt like a part of you had been ripped away from you. But there was a worse feeling than your grief for your lost friend. It was having to see Obi-Wan, his padawan, go through this. His guilt. Because Obi-Wan Kenobi was selfless and forgiving to a fault, but also knew how to beat himself up over every single mistake he made. Even when he wasn’t the one to blame. Over the past two weeks you’ve held him more times than you have in years as his defenses seemed broken and he completely shattered in your arms. Repeatedly. Which was so unlike him. And it was hard, having to see Obi go through this. But you told yourself to not break down because he needed you. He needed you more than ever. So you tried to put your own grief for Qui Gon aside, and ignore the overwhelming stinging in your chest whenever Obi-Wan’s sobs continued on long after sunset. But you were there for him. Because that was the only thing you could do.

Obi-Wan wasn’t the type to show vulnerability often. Oh no, he would rather force everything deep down to never be diggin up by anyone, not even by you. Not that he didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life. And he had more times he can count. It’s because he didn’t want to hurt you since he knew you would worry about him immensely if he told you. And he hated that. He hated being the cause of your pain. Or anyone else’s for that matter. So Obi-Wan bottled things up. Even despite your best efforts to try to talk to him.

These past two weeks he’s felt so incredibly guilty of seeking you out after the simplest task during the day, simply because even that felt too overwhelming. Or at night when he’s been awake for hours and finally gave in and came to your quarters. Or when you came back from a day away from the temple for a mission. He felt guilty. But his overwhelming grief made him give in when you had offered him kindness and compassion. Because he needed it.

This wasn’t the Obi-Wan you knew. And it’s taking a toll on you without fully realizing it yet. But it hurt. Everything hurt. Maybe that was why you were soaked in sweat in the early hours of the morning and woke up gasping for air. Trying to calm yourself down you look around the room, and realize you woke from yet another nightmare. Dreams weren’t uncommon for you. In fact, they were very common, you were a highly skilled padawan and had a deep connection to the force. But this often led to you having visions in the form of dreams. Which made nightmares like these even worse. They were incredibly vivid. And what if they weren’t just nightmares? As you push away the covers and sit up in bed, you realize that deep down this was just because of fear. Your grief for Qui Gon, fear of losing Obi-Wan the same way, of him being so broken and overwhelmed with hurt you wouldn’t be able to heal him... And maybe you felt a little more strongly about Obi-Wan than most jedi. Or any jedi. But he couldn’t know that.

You sigh and still feel shaken by the terrors of your dream and decide to get up and walk to your refresher. Water would help. But as you drink from the cup you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and almost grimace. You looked awful. Pale and dark circles under your eyes. It’s like you hadn’t slept in days. So you turn away, unwilling to accept that the last weeks have been harder on you than you realize. But if anything, you were determined. Determined to make sure Obi-Wan would be okay and not force down every bit of grief he felt to become a scar that would forever remain unhealed.

But part of you longed for Obi-Wan’s comfort. Which was a stupid and selfish thought because he was hurting and you couldn’t just ask him for support right now. But he was your best friend. And you needed him. But not as much as he needed you, you tell yourself as you realize you’re suddenly freezing and grab your robe from a chair and wrap it around you. The familiar length of the sleeves providing some sense of comfort. You sit down next to your window as you look at the skyline of Coruscant. There were many speeders flying around in the still very much alive city at 0300. But lost in thought as you look at the familiar sight you realize how alone you feel.

You weren’t alone exactly, you’ve visited Obi-Wan every day the past few weeks (which normally isn’t irregular either) and your own master has been there for you. But you still somehow felt alone as the small but bright, twinkling lights of the coruscant traffic continued to move through your vision. Wrapping your robe tighter around your frame to provide some comfort, you lean your head against the window. You were trying so hard to be there for him. But would it be enough? What if after years he’d still feel like this? You had continued to reassure Obi-wan that this feeling wouldn’t last forever and that time heals, despite how annoying that may be, but what if it didn’t? Your vision blurred as silent tears started to spill from your eyes.

After a while you heard a soft knock on your door. You weren’t sure how long because time seemed to pass more slowly at night than during the lively and brighter hours of the day. A month ago you would’ve been alarmed by hearing knocking at this hour. But now you knew it could only be Obi-Wan. And it was, because this had happened four times before the past weeks. Or maybe it was five— you lost count. Sighing and taking a deep breath after you wiped away your dried tears with the sleeves of your robe, you stand up. Your chest felt tight still. But you try to push the thought away as you walk to the door and open it. And you’re met with obi-wan’s familiar features in front of you. Painted by grief. Which you had unfortunately gotten used to in just 2 weeks. Despite your efforts to keep it together your eyes soften when you meet his gaze. He seemed just slightly puzzled for a moment by the fact you’re wearing your robe but didn’t mention it. Yet.

“Can I come in?” He asked softly, almost timidly and not knowing what else to say. But both of you knew why he was here. He needed you. And you’d always help him. Because it was Obi. You couldn’t imagine your life without him.

So you nod and step away as he enters your quarters and you close the door behind him. Turning to him your eyes meet for a moment. You could still make out the dark circles under his eyes and his slightly too pale face. And his shoulders seemed to be slightly too tense as if he’d just endured something terrible. Or was haunted by phantoms of his failure, like he would call it. He looked tired. No, exhausted. Not just physically but mentally. That’s when you step closer to him and wrap your arms around him, when it seemed like he was already reaching for yours.

“Nightmare?” You ask softly as your head rests against his shoulder.

“The same one…” he mumbled softly and you could tell there was a deep frown on his face by his voice. He had told you about the horrifying nightmares he’s gotten since it happened. How he was always there, watching Qui Gon fight the rageful sith. Until he’d see the anguish look on his master’s face, as the sith gutted him through his chest. Or beheaded him with his gushing red lightsaber. Or choked him with the force. But he’d always die. In whatever way. And all Obi-Wan could do was stand by and watch from behind that force’saken ray shield. Your stomach twisted at the mere thought. You hug him slightly tighter after a moment. And you felt him do the same. Sighing softly, you realize that despite everything, Obi’s arms still made you feel at ease. Despite all the horrors he’s been through. And you close your eyes for a moment.

“Why were you awake?” He suddenly asks softly. Your eyes blink open again. “I wasn’t.” You tell him, and you’re not so sure why you’re lying to him. You’re just worried. “So sleeping in your robe has become custom?” He mumbled softly. Under normal circumstances his words would’ve been teasing, but there was a clear concern behind it. It made your heart ache because you knew how selfless he was, even when he’s hurting this bad he still seemed to care.

“I woke up earlier and couldn’t fall back asleep..” You reply after a moment and try not to focus on the tight feeling in my chest by focussing on his arms around you instead.

Obi-wan doesn’t respond for a moment. But instead leans his head against yours. It was a small gesture. But it sends waves of comfort through you. After a moment you realize you hold him tighter, because of the many emotions racing in your chest. And feel a shiver run through you. And he noticed.

“Are you cold?” Obi-Wan asks softly, almost slightly surprised. And you could deny it, but it’s one more way of pretending, and you’re exhausted. So you nod softly. And feel his arms wrap more securely around you. He tried to warm you up a bit by rubbing his hand up and down your back. And you felt comforted by it. By his touch, his presence, his compassion... He made you feel at ease. Despite everything going on. And after a few moments you can’t pretend anymore. And you feel tears start to spill from your eyes.

Obi-Wan noticed when he felt you start to tremble slightly, and as soon as he did he moved his head away to look down at you, but your face is buried against his shoulder. ‘’Are you alright?” He spoke softly. And that’s when your defenses crumbled. And you immediately feel guilty for crying. ‘’I’m sorry—’’ You choke out as you hug him tighter as if that would help hide the fact you’re starting to break. Obi-Wan doesn’t do or say anything for a moment, but then he tightens his arms around you in return. ‘’Obi— I’m sorry-’’ You manage to blurt out between sobs that escape you as tears wet his robe. ‘’No I am..’’ He says after a moment and then moves away from you so that he can see your face, but you just hug him tighter, afraid of letting go.

He pleads your name softly for you to look at him, his hands moving to your head to gently pull you away from his shoulder. You’re hesitant. But after a moment you give into him. Because eventually, you always do. And then your teary eyes meet his and you’re immediately filled with regret. Because he looks so incredibly sad and guilty. Normally he would’ve been better at hiding it, but not the past weeks. Obi-Wan’s hands move to gently wipe your tears away as he continued to look at you. And you lean into his hand slightly.

‘’I’m sorry..’’ He whispered. ‘’You’ve been there for me this entire time and I—’’ His words get caught in his throat. And you feel so bad for him. Tears continue to fall.

“No— don’t say that please—’’ you say between sobs and he continues to hold you. Neither of you were great at showing vulnerability, on the one hand because you were afraid of what others would see and on the other because of worrying people. Especially each other. ‘’I’m sorry.. I should’ve been there for you...’’ He spoke quietly. And you hated how remorseful he sounded. And how unfair all of this was. So after a moment you closed the gap between you and buried your face against his chest again. ‘’You always are—’’ You say, your voice slightly muffled by his robe. But Obi-Wan wraps his arms around you again and leans his chin on top of your head.

He stays like that for a while. Just like you had for him so often the past two weeks. And even though he didn’t say anything, no comforting words, lullabies or whispered reassurances, this was still enough. This was everything you needed. This was all he could give right now and that was okay. You just needed him. And he gave you exactly that. Then he shifts his head slightly.

‘’You should rest..’’ Obi-Wan says in a soft tone as if to not disturb the quiet moment. Or the way part of you already felt like drifting off into his arms. Months ago you would’ve argued, suggesting you don’t need sleep. But now everything was different. And you just nod slightly against him before opening your eyes and slowly moving away from him. Not too much though. And you realize he wasn’t moving away either as he placed his hands on your arms gently and looked down at you. Those cerulean eyes of his are somber. But somehow there’s still the tiniest bit of light in them as he looks down at you and noticed the care in them. His kindness. And in that moment you realize that it was the strongest force in the galaxy.

You both turn to bed then. And neither of you feels surprised when Obi-Wan lays down next to you and pulls the covers over you both. You’re already turned to him. And when he settles down and turns to face you, you realize you wouldn’t know where you’d be without him. Not after so many years.

You lean your forehead against his shoulder, not wanting to cross any lines. But his touch, his presence was healing in so many ways. And you close your eyes for a moment. After a moment you feel Obi-Wan’s arm wrap around you, and you don’t hesitate to move closer and lean into him. Hesitantly at first. And so was he. It’s not that you hadn’t done this before, laying next to each other, because you had, on multiple missions. It always made your heart beat too fast. But now it was different. You were searching for comfort in each other's presence, compassion and warmth. To hopefully get through the hours of the night. Peacefully. Because you’re both griefing the loss of Qui Gon.

Obi-Wan’s hand rests on your back and you sigh softly, trying to drown in the feeling of his warmth. Because you needed it. Your spark had almost burned out… His had. He lost it. And it painted you to notice it so well. He didn’t deserve all of this. It made you feel like you’d been stabbed. You nuzzle your head slightly more against his chest at the thought. Obi-Wan sighs softly and leans his head against your own.

“Obi?” You hear yourself ask softly, voice barely above a whisper. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. But let’s you know he’s heard it by gently drawing circles over your back with his thumb.

You aren’t sure what to say. There were many things you hadn’t told him. Like how you could get lost in his eyes oh so easily, how you felt your heart beating faster every time he complimented you, looked at you, touched you.. how much you loved him. But you couldn’t tell him that. But he has always been there for you. And you didn’t know how you had gotten so lucky. And why he hadn’t. Because he deserved the galaxy.

“Thank you..” you say your voice drifting off to a whisper. Obi-Wan didn’t respond for a moment. Instead he nuzzled his head against the top of your head slightly more. You felt his lips brush against your hairline when he spoke.

“You shouldn’t..” he spoke softly and regretfully as he held you.

And for some reason that made you feel even more strongly about needing to thank him.

“Shut up.” you mumble softly as you shift and move your arm to wrap around him. Ignoring whatever lines this may cross. You didn’t care right now. Because you weren’t gonna accept any more of this- of him talking badly about himself. Not with what he’s going through. “Just let me thank you...”

Obi-Wan had to suppress the urge to say something. To make you understand that you didn’t need to thank him, that you shouldn’t. Because what could you thank him for? He only brought you worry, pain and the feeling you had to take care of him. He only brought you work. Because he was a mess. And he couldn’t fix himself. And yet here you were offering him comfort yet again when you were struggling. Just as much as he was. Maybe even more, because he kept acting like such a youngling seeking your comfort, your care and your strength. And he hadn’t even noticed just how bad you had been doing, how could he be such a horrible friend? He knows you better than that- he should be better than that. But he wasn’t going to argue with you. Not now. Not when you were clearly exhausted and he had drained you enough emotionally. So he sighed softly, and closed his eyes. Because he wasn’t gonna risk letting the last bit of remaining light in his life die out.

And you would both sleep in each oher’s arms for the rest of the night. Both unaware of just how much you cared for each other. And that wouldn’t change for a while even though it conflicted you both endlessly. But for now you laid in each other’s arms. Seeking comfort in each other's presence as you both tried to escape the terrors of the night. The traffic on Coruscant would soon start to become more lively. The moons would soon disappear from the night sky and be replaced by golden rays of the sun. But through all changes in life, no matter how big or small, you had each other. And that was enough.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Merge the Timestream AU.

This came about because the amazing @bitter-chocolate-stars muse for the AU idea Merging the TimeStream flew out and bit me.  I would highly recommend reading it first, because it is awesome and I could not do it justice.

Now onto the madness. 

It is a mission to a Force Temple, old enough that no one knows which side of the Force it was for (or if it was for a specific side).  There were rumors that there was an ancient artifact that could change the tides of the War, so The 212th and the 501st were dispatched to get it before the Separatists. 

Five people went into the final chamber to search(There was a description of the artifact in the temple. Only four words had been able to be translated-Past, Present, Future, and Knowledge): Obi Wan Kenobi, Anaking Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Commander Cody, and Captain Rex.  

It was these five people who were caught by the artifact.  Each of these five were split into three. The present version of themselves, a future version, and a past version. 

I bet you all can see where this is going. 

Obi Wan’s past version is from Melida/Daan, two days before Cerasi died. The future is Old Ben, coming directly from his own beheading on the Death Star. 

Anakin’s past is nine year old Anakin, hours before he would meet Qui Gon Jinn and Padme Amidala for the first time.  The future is Vader (I hope none of you are surprised), a month after he cut off Luke’s hand, and just after he fully realized that it meant his and Padme’s child had always lived.  

Ahsoka’s past is three years old, just Found by Plo Koon. Her future is Rebels Era Ahsoka, aka Fulcrum, before she found out that Vader was Anakin.  

Rex’s past was a physically four year old cadet, the only survivor of his batch (who were decommissioned because of their blonde hair mutation-Rex’s scores were so high that he was kept). The future is Old Rex, post Empire (I always headcanon that Rex survives to see the end of the Empire because of spite).

Cody’s past is ARC Trainer Cody, after the war had started but before he was assigned to be Obi Wan’s commander. His future had just deserted the Empire and doesn’t even know about the chips yet. 

Frankly it likely would have been better if one or more of those people had arrived unconscious. Alas this was not to be. 

Upon arriving, Little Ahsoka immediately started crying to the visible concern of both Cadet Rex and Child Anakin (both were concerned about punishment at the noise). Before anyone could even think to do anything, Vader pointed a dramatic finger at Old Ben and went ‘You’ and followed up with ‘Why didn’t you tell me my son lived?’

Old Ben caulked his head, ‘Even leaving aside I thought I had left you for dead for a decade, Darth, why would I trust you with your children after the march on the temple?’

Now Darth Vader rocked back on his heels, “Children?” and then a moment later “Leia Organa”

Old Ben sighed deeply, ‘Surely we can both agree that the fact you tortured your daughter does prove me right to keep them from you.’

‘I cut off Luke’s hand too’ Vader said absently

Old Ben just buried his face in his hands.

Now all of this was with the background tune of little Ahsoka still crying.  Former padawan Obi Wan is the one who reaches her first, and picks her up, smoothly herding Cadet Rex and Child Anakin behind him, away from the adults in the room.  Former Padawan Obi Wan is radiating a vicious, desperate protectiveness. 

The movement caused Old Ben to look away from Vader at the rest of the room. His brow furrows. He looks back at Vader, “Do you remember this?”

Vader’s black mask turns to take in the rest of the room, his breath rasps somehow louder than the crying Ahsoka. At last he says ‘I do not’.

Post Empire Rex snorts and says, with an unimpressed deadpan ‘It is probably Force Shit’. 

It takes another half hour to get any kind of semblance of calm and start to piece together what is going on. In spite of the fact that neither Old Ben, nor Vader want to admit who they are (for different reasons), no one in the room is actually stupid. 

There is a moment when Rex is obligated to give Old Ben shit for the fact that he told Luke that Vader killed Anakin Skywalker, to which Ben responds ‘I was just passing on what he’ points at Vader, ‘told me’.

At another moment Fulcrum throws up her hands and shoes at Old Ben ‘I thought you were dead, again. Why didn’t you tell me you survived.’ Old Ben blinks at her, ‘Leaving aside I also thought you were dead, my dear, for the last decade I have had the single highest bounty in the empire’ Old Ben looks to Vader, who nods solemnly after a moment, ‘I would have thought that would be telling.’ Fulcrum actually pouts and mutters, ‘I thought that was a plan by the Rebellion to draw Vader’s attention.’

There is just…so much trauma in this room. Like it is possible that this group has the highest concentration of trauma in the entire galaxy. 

Deserter Cody appears to be having multiple concurrent panic attacks, his face swinging between Old Ben and General Obi Wan almost constantly. Between the residual guilt of having his general shot at, the horror of the long held belief that Cody had caused Obi Wan’s death, the combination of relief and horror at the news of the chip in his head, the combination of relief and confusion at Old Ben (who is proof that Obi Wan Kenobi did not die on Utapau), the confusion of being confronted with two other versions of himself all culminates in the fact that Deserter Cody is going through some things. 

ARC Trainer Cody is going through less, mainly horror at the chips. He is also very much a shiny as far as his reactions to the Jedi are concerned.  He is confused at being transported from Kamino, and does not know if he was transported to the future or they were tanspote to the past.  Frankly by all measures ARC trainer Cody is one of the most stable people in the room. 

Current Cody is sure that his younger self should not meet any members of Ghost Company on the basis that he would never live it down. He is also facing the horror of the chips, confusion at the triplicatation that is going on. His horror is that much deeper than his younger self because he knows and cares for Obi Wan (Light CodyWan for the win).  He is also quite worried for his older self. 

Melida/Daan Obi Wan is still not sure if he is willing to let any of the adults in the room near the other children. He is also doing slightly better with the fact that he grows up to be a general then the fact that he went back to the Jedi. He is also very much a child soldier with all the trauma therein.

Old Ben is not sure if this would be his heaven or his hell. On the one hand he could feel in the Force that he was before Order 66, all the lives he had felt snuff out were alive and well.  On the other hand, there were three Anakins in the room, at least one of which hated him. Also he thought getting beheaded would get him out of dealing with more Skywalker BS.  

General Obi Wan Kenobi is more than a little horrified. His connection to the Unified Force means that he is perceiving echoes of Order 66 through the future counterparts AND the variety of trauma that exists in the younger counterparts simultaneously. In addition, both his younger self and Anakin’s younger self are each triggering unresolved trauma.  

Padawan Commander Ahsoka Tano is staring at her older self in awe, when she was not staring at Vader in horror. She has also been herded to one corner of the room by Former Padawan Obi Wan, despite the fact that she is 16 to his 14. 

Fulcrum makes the decision that she CANNOT deal with the Vader/Anakin revelation at this point and is blocking it out. Instead she is staring at Old Ben. And glancing at her younger self, wondering how much being Anakin’s padawan had damaged her view of the Order. 

Little Ahsoka has calmed, now that she was securely held by a warmer than average Cadet Rex. 

Post Empire Rex is so, so done. This was supposed to be retirement. Being dragged back to the clone wars is not retirement. It was nice to see Fulcrum again though.

Cadet Rex is the definition of stress. He is not sure what test is going on, nor who these new trainers were but he would not fail. 

Captain Rex is not sure what to do with the proof that he would survive the war.  Nor the fate of his general as he stares at the tall black clad being. 

Darth Vader, in addition to all the issues he always carries, is looking at his younger self covetously. Had he had a way he would have tried to possess his younger self, who has everything he wants. At the same time he wants to sit this younger version down and tell him exactly how to avoid everything that Vader is (It should be noted that Vader has no idea how to avoid all that Vader is). He is also boiling angry at every version of Obi Wan, though distantly looks at the little angry version and wonders if this was a way to get his brother back.  The knowledge of Luke’s survival is drawing him back toward the single selfless thing he has done in decades, but he is still very much a Sith. 

Child Anakin is deeply confused and frankly ecstatic that he hasn’t blown up yet. It is very clear they are not on Tatooine and nowhere near Watto. He is also not impressed that he somehow escaped slavery only to become enslaved again (in his perception Vader is also chip controlled and thus enslaved).

General Anakin Skywalker is freaked out by Vader, who is radiating a weird greed at him, and also by the implications of everything the future people have said. He is also heartbroken over Palpatine being evil (even Vader agrees, in his own way, that Palpatine is evil). Everything strikes deep enough that Anakin actually decided he needed a therapist (There is something about the casual way that Vader talks about torturing Anakin and Padme’s children that cements that decision).

It turns out that the Artifact is the entire temple, so removing it is not feasible. 

Like in the original idea, I am not sure if the past and future versions find themselves eventually returning to their own times, or if they are stuck in the present. Though there is something that is amusing about the Jedi now having to deal with three of each of these five people, one of which is a Sith. Particularly since Vader both wants to kill them all and wants to protect them all (to prevent Anakin’s Fall).

It does change so many things though.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

hiiii! congratulations on your milestone!! i love your blog <3

for jukebox roulette, the song kiss & tell by idkhow is one of my favorites of all time and gives me major obi-wan feelings. maybe a lil fic for him? :) thank you, love u

Hiiiiii! my lovely @creatureoftheunderworldd

Thank you so much for loving the blog.

I hope I did your song justice. I have never heard of this song or this group, and thank you so much for introducing them! I LOVE THEM!

I hope you love this. It's a prequel to How Long Will I Love You?

Love oo

Kiss & Tell

Warnings: heartbreak, unrequited love, dealing with feelings, sneaking out, I think that's it, if I miss anything please let me know.

Main Master List   | Star Wars Jukebox Roulette |   AO3 Link

Qui-gon spent all morning looking for you, and when he finally found you in the archives, your nose buried in a book, he sat in front of you, pulling the book away as he locked eyes with you.

“I didn’t do it, I swear Master. It was already broken.”

“No, that’s not … wait, what was already broken?” Qui-gon furrowed his eyebrows.

“Whatever was broken before I touched it … Master Qui-gon!” I realized who it was once I actually focused on his face. “Master, you’re back! I heard you were helping out Mandalore!”

Qui-gon simply chuckled as he shook his head, “Yes, my dear. You’re right, but…”

“How was it? Tell me everything? Are Mandalorians really as strong as they say? I heard that they have jet packs, live in their armour all the time, and they even sleep in it. Is that true? Did you get to try one?”

“Padawan!”

You clammed up, he’d only shout padawan when you were in trouble.

“Please, listen.”

“Sorry, Master”

He let out a sigh, slowly his smile etched back on his face, “You’re always a special one, my dear.”

You shrugged, “It’s called being young.”

“Don’t get too comfortable, age has a way of creeping up on you. Today, you’re 19, tomorrow you’re nearing 50.”

“Well that’s a bright and cheery thought. How can I help you, Master Qui-gon?”

“It’s Obi-wan.”

Your smile faltered as you thought about your best friend, “Is he okay? 

“No. He had his first lesson in heartbreak.”

For a reason you would rather choose to ignore, there was a pain in your heart, as it wrapped around and squeezed tight. You took in a sharp breath, “I’m sorry to hear that.” Your voice sounded flat even to you. 

“As his oldest friend, I am hoping you can be a shoulder to cry for him, as he will not talk to me.”

You rubbed your forehead nodding, “Alright, Master Qui-gon, where is he?”

“Where else, but the reflecting pool.”

“But, of course.” You smiled and stood heading towards the reflecting pool. It wasn’t the first time Obi-wan hid himself in the reflecting pool. It usually happened when something significant affected his life, or when he got in trouble after he rebelled. You smiled as you found him underneath his favourite tree, his eyes closed as he meditated.

You gently lowered yourself, fluttering your robe out behind you, as you sat beside him. 

Silence filled the space between you two as you simply stared ahead, watching the ripples in the pool. 

“You really not going to say anything?” Obi finally uttered.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Then why should I say anything?”

He let out a sigh, as he opened his eyes, “It’s not fair!”

“No, it’s not.”

“She could’ve asked me to stay.”

You nodded in agreement.

“I should’ve offered to stay.”

“That was another path you could’ve taken.”

“Why didn’t she say anything!”

You turned to look at him, locking eyes with you, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

He groaned as he flopped back against the grass beneath the both of you.

“Come on, you can answer it. Why did you say anything?” You shifted lying beside him as you looked up at the overgrowth from the tree.

“Because I didn’t want to walk away from the Jedi.”

“So … why do you think she didn’t say anything?”

“Probably because she knew I wouldn’t have been able to make the decision”

You nodded in agreement, “Yup, she probably did.” You let out a sigh as you stretched, placing your hands underneath your head, this wasn’t a conversation you really wanted to have with him. You didn’t want to know about him falling in love with someone else. You didn’t want to be the one that had to sit here and help his broken heart, knowing he’d never look at you the same way. 

“Obi, falling in love is not horrendous,” you shifted your head so you could look at him, “Having emotions isn’t the worst thing to happen. Just know that you’ll be able to help your own padawan someday when they’re head over heels in love.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do. You have an exceptional mind, and when you’re not being a rebellious idiot, you’re quite mature. Take this time to heal from the pain, knowing I’ll be here to help.” You shifted sitting up as you turned to glance at him, “Any time you wanna talk about her, I’ll be here to listen. Okay?”

There was a soft smile on his face as he sat up too, looking at you, “Thanks, my dear,” he pressed a kiss to your cheek, “for being there for me.”

“You’re welcome. Now do you wanna mope some more or …” you smiled, with mischief glinting in your eyes. 

“Or?”

“Or do you wanna sneak out of the temple for old times sake, hit Dex’s Diner, and then hop the transport ships heading down to the lower levels? See how many jumps we can do from one transport to the next without having to stop for more than five minutes?”

“You’re on.”

You chuckled as you stood heading towards the lower level entrance that no one ever used. Even though it’s not what you would’ve hoped for, any time you got to spend with Obi-wan was a lot better than spending time by yourself in the Archives.

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[thecleverqueer]

Y’all.

The point of the Clone Wars flashback in the Ahsoka series was partially fan service. Yes. But, those of you that are mad that Obi-Wan and Cody and Waxer and Boil and Mace Windu and Ursa Wren and Gar Saxon and Maul and Bo-Katan Kryze and Rook Cast weren’t in it missed the whole goddamned point of the flashback, so let me explain:

Everyone has bitched tirelessly about Ahsoka being stoic and reserved and “not like herself” (I will die on the “she’s in her forties…leave my baby girl alone… she’s tired, sore and premenopausal…” hill, still…)

Ultimately, she’s been “out of character” because she was carrying all of the Anakin trauma around like a two hundred pound weight on her shoulders. She blamed herself, and she feared who she was so much so that she was unwilling to get close to others and spread the wisdom that the years have afforded her…something a Jedi just does. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Enter this sequence… the moment she FINALLY lets go of the Anakin guilt/ hang ups.

I knew something like this was coming. Some moment that changed her back to the more recognizable Ahsoka. The one that embraced her friends. The one that was willing to share the lessons that she learned with others. The one that would have loved to have a padawan of her own. The one that wasn’t always running away, being flaky.

This was it. And, there were two big takeaways from the moment.

1.) Anakin was always Vader, and Vader was always Anakin… and she had nothing to do with that. Her leaving the order played literally no role. It wasn’t on her. It never was. He was already teetering on that line way before she entered his life. I mean, he slaughtered an entire village of Tuskens down to the last woman and child. He said and did questionable shit to Ahsoka herself too throughout their time together. Was he like a brother to her? Sure. Was he borderline abusive at times? Also, yes. Regardless, her eyes were opened in that first battle…where he basically told her to fight or die. Fair, under the circumstances… still, Ahsoka was trained to be a Jedi, not a murderer. Anakin relished in it. She didn’t really, especially when it came to losing her own men in battle. The clones were her friends, her brothers. Anakin didn’t seem to give a shit about the clones. Unsurprising.

2.) She realized that it wasn’t just Anakin’s legacy that she would carry on. She has her own legacy. It doesn’t have to be one of death and destruction. Is Ahsoka a lot like Anakin? Yes. She’s impulsive, hot-headed, stubborn, emotional, and intense, but that’s not all. Ahsoka is caring, patient, understanding, and loving in a compassionate sense. She’s grown wise, strong and sage. Anakin isn’t the only part of her line and that legacy… Obi-Wan is a part. Qui-Gon is a part. Yoda is a part. Ahsoka is a little bit of all of them. It made her realize that she’s so much more than just a warrior. She’s a great Jedi like the ones that came before her. Inevitably, she has a choice. She can choose not to serve the dark, despite it being part of that legacy, and she can pass on what she has learned without fear.

The moment was about just that. It wasn’t meant to actually be an episode of The Clone Wars. The flashback served a very specific purpose as laid out above. There are 133 episodes of The Clone Wars if you want to watch a Clone Wars episode with all the characters of the Clone Wars. This moment was about Ahsoka overcoming her guilt and fear caused by Anakin becoming what he became so that Ahsoka could actually embrace who she is. Specifically.

Now we have a happy, more well-rounded, Gandalf-like Ahsoka that has slayed her Balrog. Now we get to see her be the Jedi she has always been inside. Now we will see her be there for her friends. Now we will see her mentor and share her wisdom and teach the ways of the ones that came before her without fear.

[threebea]

WIP game Dooku reincarnation? I'm intrigued

Okay so the name for this one is a little misleading because it's not really reincarnation. Basically instead of becoming one with the force Dooku holds on to a thread of self in the weave of things and manages to push his spirit back into the timeline earlier. The intro alludes to this, but the story is actually Obi-Wan's pov. It's him meeting Qui-Gon (and Dooku) and beyond with changes in the timeline very obvious to the reader. Dooku is hinted at being aware of the canon timeline events but the reader doesn't know what his goals are. Here's a snippet after the events of TPM:

“You let the Sith live.”

“Was that wrong, Master?” Obi-Wan knew it wasn’t, but he wanted to see what Dooku would say.

“The Sith escaped. Who knows what he will do because of your mercy? But was it wrong for you to let him live? No… no, not for you,” Dooku admitted after a very long moment of contemplation. “No, you aren’t meant to strike killing blows. You’re the shield.”

-

It didn’t really feel like he was talking to Obi-Wan anymore. Like Dooku had realized something. He changed the subject.

“Qui-Gon is determined to have Skywalker as your replacement.”

“Anakin needs to be trained,” Obi-Wan said neutrally, remembering the boy’s anxiety about Master Dooku.

“If not Qui-Gon, then someone else,” Dooku agreed, looking at him archly.

“The rest of the Council agrees with him, why don’t you?” Obi-Wan asked. He usually wasn’t so bold with Dooku knowing the older man didn’t like it, but he had just been Knighted, and he had the feeling Dooku might tell him in this moment.

“He is not a Chosen One,” Dooku said with unwavering certainty. He stepped forward toward the balcony and looked at the traffic-lit skies. Obi-Wan moved to stand beside him. He wanted to go back inside. Talk to his friends. Talk to Qui-Gon. Enjoy the evening and his accomplishments.

But he had won his knighthood in a duel and that didn’t sit right with him. He had his braid cut by Qui-Gon but the missing weight put him off balance, he stood beside Master Dooku and he knew it was important to hear what he had to say in this moment.

His Grandmaster was nostalgic and more open than he had ever been.

“Qui-Gon believes he is, as does many on the Council now,” Obi-Wan prompted.

“Skywalker is a scared slave boy. He will never grow out of that. His weakness will make him a tool. What makes you think you aren’t a chosen one, Obi-Wan?”

Him a chosen one? Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose. Honestly he hated the sound of that, even if it wasn’t so ridiculous. He was just Obi-Wan Kenobi. The idea left a bad taste in his mouth. He wondered if that’s how Ani felt at the word being thrown around.

He glanced to Dooku who was staring into the darkness of night, away from all the numerous lights of Coruscant.

“And perhaps you are, Master,” Obi-Wan said. He expected a rebuke for his impertinence, but Dooku nodded.

“Perhaps.”

“What’s the difference?” Obi-Wan asked.

“The difference?”

“Between a tool and a chosen one?” Obi-Wan explained. “Isn’t being chosen just a way of saying someone is expected to be useful to someone else’s purpose? We are servants of the Force, all of us are chosen.”

“You’re being clever,” Dooku said in annoyance.

“Even if he isn’t a chosen one, he should be a Jedi,” Obi-Wan said. “He’s too powerful to be left to a normal family, and besides Qui-Gon made a promise to his mother.”

“Terrible to break a promise,” Dooku snorted.

It would be. Something in the Force echoed. A promise that would come to be, or never would. A promise that was his that wasn’t his, that never had to be his.

[padawansuggest]

Writing that fic I made a post about like at least a year ago where Dooku and Obi-Wan are both deaged at the exact same time and Dooku is back to normal while Obi-Wan is in his Melida|Daan era and both feral and clingy (he WOULD likely be clinging to Dooku more than Cody but they told him they’re not gonna let him be alone with Dooku yet so Cody who’s been absolutely doting on him since it all started is the next best option) and a few things happened in this fic that I didn’t expect but I’m obsessed with 1: three clone ocs got caught in the deaging blast with Obi (Crys is an OC right? He’s sorta one of those placement OCs like Helix, right? So it counts. Maybe we should call that FC for fan character… idk) and so Waxer and Boil only avoided babying Obi by boon of them having three cadets to adopt Right There lol. And 2: Obi tried to stand up (and I think I made this cause I was like ‘he needs to have trouble running or he’s gonna dart off and they’ll have to chase her feral ass’ lmao) and Cody panicked and noticed his leg is mega swollen around the ankle and Obi likely can’t walk on it and he asks if he has other injuries and Obi-Wan sorta just gets really quiet for a moment and lists off a few but HE ENDED THE LIST WITH ‘it’s sorta painful to sit’ CODY IS NOW IN PROTECTIVE MANDALORIAN BUIR MODE HES ABOUT TO BEAT AOMEONES ASS OH GOD

And. Yeah. It was what. What you might think (No don’t make me write those words out I won’t even write it in the fic okay I’m skirting all my triggers like a figure skater deal with it) and so. Yeah. There are about to be a lot of people angry with Qui-Gon Jinn very soon.

Normally. I like to forgive and forget. He’s an asshole but that little boy was attached to him by the time he was 20 okay they were very much parent and child by that point and I move on from that much like Obi does, but unfortunately, the last memories Obi will have of Qui will be him cutting his braid and taking his saber and that’s Not Right and Dooku even says so and that it’s horrible that his Padawan, his SON did that to his grandbaby he is. In fact. Pissed. And will be having words with his ghost soon.

Anyways. Cody is about to murder someone and I feel like the shock of realizing what Qui did to Obi-Wan is gonna fuck Anakin up and drive him closer to Dooku and the Jedi who knew Qui around that time instead of further towards Palpatine so they can do some damage control.

[mmeskywalker]

|| anakin wattpad story

warnings: no warnings, just hear me out PLEASE !!

if i were to create a wattpad story where the guardians of the galaxy world and the star wars world collided… would anyone be interested in that?

the main character could be peter quills daughter. due to peter needing a place to hide, the main character ended up living on tatooine for the first few years of her life. peter had been friends with shmi for some time now and she agreed to letting peter and his daughter stay at her home until they found a better living situation. there, the main character met anakin. they were childhood best friends. they remained attached to the hip until she watched qui-gon save anakin from slavery and become what he was destined to become; a jedi.

after anakin left, it wasn’t long before peter got caught stealing again. the main character was angry. she was angry at her father for being so reckless. shmi was all she had left of anakin. these were the same shitty mistakes he had made back on earth before she was born, the same shitty mistakes he continues to make that gets him chased out of all planets.

she just wants a normal life. that is until she starts following in his footsteps.

along the way of their chase out, peter and the main character made some friends: gamora, drax, groot, and rocket. of course, their meeting wouldn’t occur in the story, but in the past.

together, they would steal for the sith of the galaxy (or whoever paid well…) this was their first time stealing for general grevious. general grevious had an obsession with lightsabers, he wanted jedi dead and lightsabers to prove it hung on his wall. but he couldn’t do that by himself. so, he hired the thugs he had heard about who’ve been making a name for themselves around the galaxy.

this is where the first chapter would begin.

they were camping out in the outer rim regions. they heard a jedi had been scoping the area, senseful of their arrival. the group didn’t realize killing jedi was so difficult. they were only able to salvage two lightsabers, and it wasn’t because they killed a jedi, it was because the main character had a light saber. actually, the two she had, she made with anakin a long, long time ago on tatooine.

she previously found it stacked away in her closet, burried behind photoalbums of her and anakin as children. she didn’t want that reminder, so she grabbed it and stuck it on the table. “two down, eight to go.” she said as if it didn’t pain her.

they awoke that night to a noise coming from outside the ‘safety’ of their ship. sand people were coming to raid them. they were putting up a fight as the sand people came, one by millions, to their doorstep.

a sand person came up to the main girl, and she was frightened because there were too many of them to fight off. she was surrounded and the rest of her family were occupied with kicking their own piece of sandman ass. in a fit of rage, she reached her hand out, and the sand people began to hover off of the ground; until the forcefully fell with a thud.

she knew she was connected with the force, but she wasn’t connected with the force. she never practiced it. she couldn’t have been that powerful. so when drax accused her of using her quote, unquote, ‘jedi shit’ , she violently shuck her head no.

the force reckoned with began to mess with the family, having them all confused and ready to attack before it came out of hiding. it was the jedi they had been looking for. this jedi is going to be one of my own ocs.

the jedi was sent to achieve them, but not in the way they were all expecting. she didn’t want to send them to jail… rather she didn’t want to send the main girl to jail, she had business that needed to be attended with elsewhere.

the main character was needed back on coruscant, because if she couldn’t get her head out of her ass and stop working for these idiotic sith lords, she, and the rest of the galactic republic, would end up dead.

i was thinking this could be a romance between an oc and anakin skywalker, and the main character would have to (forcefully) become obi-wans padawan.

this is going to occur during episode two, except i want to create my own plotline for the story.

let me know what you think !!! 💗

[sixfrogsonalog]

anakin is starved for compliments.

and its not that obi wan didn’t try his damn hardest to give him confidence but he was so young when he was given a padawan and he didn’t have that much confidence in his own abilities after qui-gon died.

anyway. imagine cody complimenting anakin on his flying one day, not his fighting or his shooting or anything war related. just a compliment on a trick or something anakin did to show off a little before landing. a compliment on something the general is passionate about. and anakin gets all red and flustered, trying to brush it off like no big deal, but its then that the commander realizes that anakin isn’t as cocky and self-confident as he comes across.

after that every time cody gets the chance he points out something anakin does, and every time the general falls silent before accepting with a little nod of his head and a small smile.

dad cody is my favourite cody.

[titikawai]

They need to address Bo’s trauma

Alright so this is going to be a super long essay about Bo’s trauma as I have been doing some research for the next chapters of my fic Mind Games. I went through her background and thought I would share with you my headcanons surrounding that. I especially realized that with her deaging came quite heavy consequences and thought we could discuss them. 

There are of course going to be HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS : Grief, Grooming, SA, anxiety, depression, s*ic*de. DISCLAIMER I am no therapist so this is just me drawing from some of my how experiences with trauma and doing some researches online. 

Please know your limits and do not attempt to read this if you feel uneasy around those topics, I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone. Same goes with the potential comments that will be left under this post

So first, I’ll start with the implications of deaging Bo-Katan as they did. When we watch Clone Wars, we are led to understand that she is Satine’s younger sister but there are no indications on her age. If we think about it logically, there would probably be around an age gap of maximum 5 years between them. However, as many already pointed out, it would mean that she’d be around 60 years old in the third season of the Mandalorian. I watched a few of Katee Sackhof’s interview where she was saying that Bo-Katan was way younger that many thought she was. Indeed, with her being cast for Bo and Rosario Dawson for Ahsoka, I figured that it probably that the two were probably around the same age in CW, hence them becoming “friends” starting 7th season. It thus means that she probably was in her late teens or early twenties. However, the directors’ decision to deage her has quite huge implications : 

 Headcanons : 

* First of all, it means that there was quite a huge age gap between Satine and her sister: 15 to 20 years approximately

· We figured from the first episodes of season 3 that Bo-Katan has known her Dad and that he fought and died in the Great Mandalorian civil war. There was no mention of her mom so I just assume she died in childbirth of during the civil war as well. 

·  When her dad died, Satine became duchess of Mandalore and probably didn’t have time to personally take care of such a young sister, especially considering that she went under Qui-Gon and Obi Wan’s protection. The latter never met her so it means that she probably stayed on Mandalore with her nannies or relatives, witnessing the horros of the Civil war. She probably felt abandoned by her sister. She probably wished the war to end as soon as possible (some have theorized that her dad probably taught her how to fight so she probably wasn’t scared of using violence to defend her planet), explaining why she never understood why her sister was a pacifist.

· I am a strong believer in Satine being Korkie’s mom (I mean there is no third sister). So it means that Bo-Katan was probably a child when her big sister got pregnant with Obi-Wan. Probably, she witnessed her sister going into hidding to have her baby to try and not become a pariah. I figure this would explain Bo-Katan’s resentment against Jedis and particularly Obi-Wan as he didn’t reach out to her sister nor stepped up for her nephew (with whom there isn’t such a big age gap)

·       So, I have seen this theory going around the internet and read it in some fanfics. It makes sense to me and would explain many things in Bo-Katan’s behaviour. THIS IS WHERE THE TW BEGINS (Grooming) : I figured that Bo-Katan probably met Pre Vizsla after the civil war as he was part of the clan of the enemy. He probably quickly became her mentor, an authority figure that she felt like could replace her dad (she definitely has daddy issues). He probably made her feel understood and special, filling the whole of her parents and Satine’s absence. I honestly believe in the grooming theory saying that he manipulated her into a relationship and death watch to take over the throne of Mandalore taking advantage of her status as the duchess’ sister (as he knew it would humiliate the latter). 

·        TW (SA) Bo probably became very secretive and broke contact with her sister, probably experiencing quite a lot of anxiety : as groomed individuals cannot give consent she was victim of SA. One proof of that would be that “imfamous” butt slap she gave Ahsoka upon meeting her (which is also SA). This sexualized behaviour is not appropriate for a teen or young adult. 

*        Her exposure to this type of trauma probably made her feel like she felt invicible to danger and that is when she developed a violent, criminal behaviour (let’s not forget she participated in the burning of a village and the enslavement of its inhabitants). 

·        Then Pre Vizsla died by the hands of Darth Maul and she started feeling  grief but also probably self doubt, being hit with what she had done and went back to her sister.  She did horrible things while in DW and probably enjoyed them back then through her broken perception of things.

·        Then Satine died and she felt guilty for her death because obviously she she betrayed her. This changed her deeply as she was bombarded with her overwhelming feelings of blame, regret, guilt and confusion, probably struggling with TW drug or alcohol abuse, self harm or suicidal thoughts. 

·        She ended up leading her people, most of them probably hating her for what happened to their planet, Pre Vizsla and her sister, for Maul and of course later, the Purge… She was not her sister and I don’t think that she had ever thought through becoming the duchess of Mandalore. She definitely wanted the power but probably was not ready for that responsibility. Her people respected her because she was royalty, nothing more. They did not have love for her, nor respect : hence why they all left her once she didn’t have the darksaber anymore.

·        All those events had a huge impact on her adult life considering she had lost the majority of people she cared for and struggled to build strong and healthy relationships

She definitely struggles to be vulnerable around others tie that scene with Grogu where she asks him what he is looking at in episode 2) 

·        When it comes to romantic relationships, I picture her having an avoidant attachment style used her sex appeal as a tool to manipulate men AND women (we stan a bisexual queen), to feel in control. I feel like if she started feeling someone catching feelings for her, she would flee (that’s probably what happened with Axe as many of us assume that he was in love with her and was her ex FWB because of his bitterness and her reluctance when talking about him). 

 ·        When it comes to her relationship with Din (sorry I’m a Dinbo shipper) I feel like when she met him he struck her as really different to the other guys she met : 

-first because she had been forced to reflect on her past and draw lessons from it while she was alone on Sundary for two years

-then because he wore a helmet : so she did not see his face and struggled to sexualize him which forced her to focus on who he is inside and really bond with him on an intimate level (here I speak of real emotional intimacy and not sex)

- because he, himself, did not consider her as a piece of meat (I picture Din as asexual or demi-sexual) and he quickly showed her he cared about her and not her title, showing true loyalty to her for the first time in forever (except from her relationship with Ursa Wren and Ahsoka, I assume she didn’t have very deep friendships, most of them probably being shallow)

-because of Grogu, Din is starting to shift from an avoidant attachment style to a secure one and is way less guarded than in the first season

-so I guess she is intriged by this new form of intimacy with him, the way she feels at ease with him and not feel like she need to be hypervigilant (the scene in the cave where they sit super close shows that). Both of them lost their parents quite young and I feel like it could be a shared experience they could bond over or already have unconsciously. 

When it comes to her relationship with Ahsoka : 

PLS WRITTERS I BEG OF YOU show me a real healthy female relationship without toxicity and where they support each other no matter what.