#and pulling his hair out and eating your food and sleeping at the foot of your bed because at least he’s on it

[hannie-bees]

Sad Bread || c.hs

Pairing: Vernon × reader

« You wake up to your bf eating sad lonely bread like he isn't loved. »

Wc: 861

Genre: fluff

You woke up to silence.

The room was quiet, unusually so, save for the occasional shuffle of movement from the kitchen. You blinked sleep from your eyes, recalling just how late you’d stayed up working last night. Your limbs were still heavy, your brain foggy. You rolled over instinctively to find an empty spot where Vernon usually curled beside you.

He must’ve let you sleep in.

That’s when the faint sounds reached your ears—the clink of a plate, the dull scrape of a butter knife.

You yawned, pulling on a hoodie as you padded into the kitchen. You were expecting him to be cooking something, maybe even reheating leftovers.

And then you saw him.

Vernon. Sitting at the breakfast table. Shoulders hunched, hair still messy, eyes half-lidded as he stared mournfully at the single slice of bread in his hand. Next to him: a half-empty jar of jam and a butter knife. No toast. No eggs. Just... a sad, plain slice of bread.

He looked up when you entered—and you swore you saw his ears droop like a cartoon puppy caught doing something pitiful.

“Morning,” he mumbled, caught mid-bite.

Your heart cracked.

“Han,” you said, voice already trembling with offense. “Are you eating sad dry bread right now?”

He blinked. “I didn’t want to wake you. You were up really late...”

You stood there in the doorway for a beat, just staring. This wasn’t just any breakfast. This was the breakfast of someone who had lost all hope. Of someone who had resigned themselves to fate. He looked like a soaked puppy left at the doorstep of your heart, nibbling bread like it was the only thing left in the world.

You crossed the kitchen in a flash and stood beside him. “Vernon. Look at me.”

He hesitated but turned, crumbs still on his lips. You gently cupped his face in your hands. His cheeks were warm and soft, and his eyes were confused, but quietly pleased at the attention.

“Never do that again,” you whispered seriously. “Never eat sad, flavorless bread in front of me like a lonely little orphan.”

“I wasn’t—”

“Shh.” You pressed your forehead to his, then kissed him there softly. “This is a no-dry-bread household. Especially not for you.”

He blinked, looking like he was torn between laughing and melting.

“You looked like a puppy,” you muttered, ruffling his hair before standing. “An abandoned one. It physically hurt me.”

“I wasn’t trying to be dramatic.”

“You weren’t trying,” you echoed, already pulling out the pancake mix. “And yet here we are.”

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he watched you. “You really don’t have to—”

“I want to. Sit. I’m making breakfast for both of us.”

He obeyed, a little stunned, like he didn’t quite know what to do with himself now that he was no longer stuck with jail-food-level bread.

You moved easily through the kitchen, cracking eggs into a bowl, mixing batter, and heating up the pan. The scent of vanilla and cinnamon started to fill the air as you added little touches—pushing your sleep-mussed hair out of your face, tapping your foot as you waited for the pancake bubbles to pop.

Behind you, Vernon leaned his chin on his hand, just… watching.

“Can I help?” he asked.

“You are helping. You’re existing. That’s all I need from you today. Just sit there and look pretty.”

He smiled, small but real.

Soon enough, pancakes were stacking on a plate, syrup was ready, and you dropped fresh strawberries into the blender with ice cream and milk. The whirring filled the kitchen like a happy hum, and Vernon’s face lit up when he saw the pink swirl.

“You made a milkshake?”

“For us. I’m not gonna sit here and drink something cute while you gnaw on bread.”

“I feel like this is a full-on intervention.”

“It is. And it’s not over yet.”

You set the plates and tall glasses down at the table, nudging him gently. “Eat. Like a loved man.”

He laughed, shaking his head as you both sat down. “You’re too good to me.”

“Someone has to be. You clearly weren’t being good to yourself.”

He picked up a fork, took a bite, and then let out a noise so soft and satisfied it made your heart do a little flip.

“I missed this,” he said between bites. “Us eating together.”

You smiled around a strawberry. “Then don’t skip it next time just because I sleep in. If I catch you eating sad bread again, I swear…”

“What? You’ll cry?”

“Worse. I’ll film it and send it to your mom. Caption it: ‘Look what your son’s resorted to.’”

He snorted mid-chew. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

He leaned over the table, brushing a crumb off your cheek with his thumb. “Thanks for this,” he said quietly.

You looked at him for a long moment, your heart warm and full. “Anytime. Always.”

You clinked your milkshake glasses together like it was toast, and dug into breakfast, wrapped in the kind of comfort that only came from being with someone who made even jam and bread emergencies feel soft and funny in the end.

See more...

[spottedgardeneelstan]

you’ll hear me howling outside your door

[yungistiny]

Heaven And Back ═ chapter one

[ S. Mingi ]

chapter one: first time

╚═════════

summary: mingi is trouble wrapped in bleached hair and piercings and maybe that’s exactly what y/n needs

warning: emo mingi, stoner/dealer mingi, virgin reader, use of drugs, eventual smut

pairing: mingi x afab reader

genre: romance, drama, smut

word count: 2.7k

chapter two

masterlist

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The afternoon sun was too bright when y/n cracked open one bleary eye. Her laptop still hummed faintly on the desk across the room, a reminder of the all nighter she’d pulled to finish the ancient history essay that had been eating her alive for a week. She shifted under the covers, limbs heavy and slow, the ache of exhaustion buried deep in her bones.

Ningning’s bed was empty, again. No surprise there. Her roommate had practically moved into her girlfriend’s apartment two months ago, leaving y/n alone in their tiny dorm more often than not. She didn’t blame her. Honestly, she envied her a little.

Y/N groaned softly, pulling the blanket over her head just as someone knocked, loudly, on the door.

“Open up, zombie!” came her best friend, Wooyoung’s unmistakable voice, bright and mischievous as always.

“Go away,” she mumbled into her pillow.

The door creaked open anyway, Wooyoung barging in like he owned the place. He wore ripped jeans, a too big hoodie, hair dyed a fading red and a grin that could probably get him out of murder charges if he ever needed to.

“Come on,” he said, flopping down at the foot of her bed. “You’ve been hiding like a gremlin all week. I’m taking you out.”

“I’m tired,” Y/N whined, shoving the blanket down enough to glare at him. “I just finished the worst essay of my life. I think my brain is broken. My body’s next.”

“You sound so dramatic,” Wooyoung teased, poking her ankle. “You just need some good food and like… a good joint or something.”

She blinked at him. “I’ve never even smoked before.”

“Exactly!” he said, eyes lighting up mischievously. “It’s time you live a little. C’mon, get dressed. We’ll grab lunch, and then…” he wiggled his eyebrows. “you’re coming with me to pick up.”

“Pick up…?” she repeated slowly, still too sleep drunk to follow.

“My dealer,” he said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Cool guy. You’ll like him. He’ll probably corrupt you faster than I can.”

Y/N groaned again, but there was already a little tug deep inside her chest, a stupid, restless curiosity that made her sit up.

Maybe a little corruption wasn’t the worst thing right now.

Maybe it would even make her feel something again other than absolute exhaustion.

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By the time they made it to the tiny Korean BBQ spot Wooyoung loved, y/n was a little more awake, but not by much. She sat slumped in the booth, poking listlessly at her bowl of rice while Wooyoung inhaled an embarrassing amount of meat across from her.

“You look like you’re about to pass out into your food,” he said around a mouthful, grinning.

“I feel like I’m about to pass out,” Y/N muttered. She picked up a piece of bulgogi, stared at it for a second, then put it back down with a sigh. “I don’t know, Woo. I thought college would be different. Like, fun or exciting or… at least bearable.”

He set his chopsticks down, suddenly a little more serious. “Burnout’s a bitch,” he said, shrugging like he knew the feeling too well. “No one tells you that the dream gets heavy real fast.”

She leaned her head against the cool window beside their booth, closing her eyes. “It’s like I’m either exhausted or guilty that I’m not doing more. Even when I’m doing everything.”

“You’re doing fine,” Wooyoung said firmly, kicking her gently under the table. “You just need to chill out for a bit. Reset your brain.”

She cracked one eye open. “With a joint, apparently?”

“Damn right,” he said, flashing her a shit eating grin. “I’m telling you, one hit and you’ll forget all about ancient history and essays and existential dread.”

“I doubt that,” she said, but she smiled weakly, the first real smile she’d managed in days.

They finished eating, and after Wooyoung paid , because “this one’s on me, stress girl” they headed out into the chilly afternoon. The sun was already starting to dip low, painting the sky in muted golds and blues.

“You sure it’s okay for me to come?” Y/N asked as they turned down a quieter street, tucked between a row of low, grungy apartment buildings.

“He won’t care,” Wooyoung said, jamming his hands into his hoodie pocket. “Mingi’s chill. Honestly, he’ll probably offer you something the second you walk through the door.”

“Mingi,” Y/N repeated under her breath, tasting the name. It already sounded like trouble.

Wooyoung led her up a narrow set of stairs to the second floor of a rundown building. He knocked twice, then opened the door without waiting for a response.

“Mingi!” he called out.

Inside, the apartment smelled faintly of smoke and something sweet, like vanilla and musk mixed together. It was cluttered but cozy, low lighting, worn in furniture, a beat up guitar leaning against the couch.

And then he appeared.

Mingi.

Tall, broad shouldered, moving with a lazy kind of confidence as he padded out from the kitchen, a blunt tucked between his fingers. His hair was short and bleached almost white, messy like he’d just rolled out of bed. His black painted nails tapped rhythmically against the lighter in his other hand. A glint of silver flashed when he licked his lips, a tongue piercing, and when he stretched, his thin black tank top pulled tight against his chest, revealing the faint outlines of piercings underneath.

Y/N mouth went dry.

Wooyoung clapped Mingi on the shoulder casually. “This is Y/N,” he said. “Freshman, never smoked before, tired of life.”

Mingi’s eyes, sharp, dark, unreadable, flicked over her slowly. Not in a creepy way, but like he was reading her, cataloguing her.

“First time, huh?” he said, voice low and rough around the edges.

Y/N swallowed thickly and nodded.

Mingi smirked, slow and easy. “Lucky me.”

And in that moment, as he passed her the freshly rolled blunt with two fingers and a wicked glint in his eye, y/n knew deep in her gut she was standing at the edge of something she wasn’t going to be able to walk away from.

Maybe she didn’t even want to.

Mingi dropped onto the couch like he had all the time in the world, legs spread wide, head tipped back lazily against the cushions. He patted the empty spot beside him without a word.

Y/N hesitated for half a second before Wooyoung nudged her forward with a grin. “Don’t be shy. He only bites if you ask nicely.”

She shot Wooyoung a look, but her legs moved on their own, carrying her to the couch. She sat gingerly beside Mingi, leaving a careful few inches of space between them. He smelled like smoke and something darker underneath, leather and salt and skin warmed by the sun.

Mingi lit the blunt with a flick of his lighter, the flame briefly illuminating the sharp angles of his face, his heavy lidded eyes, the silver glint on his tongue when he tucked it against his cheek, the piercings beneath his tank top catching just enough light to hint at more hidden things.

He took a slow drag, holding it in before exhaling in a thick ribbon of smoke that curled lazily toward the ceiling. Then he turned to her, blunt pinched between two black painted fingers, the polish chipping slightly.

“Here,” he said, voice dipping a little lower. “Nice and easy.”

Y/N heart hammered painfully in her chest. Her fingers brushed his when she took it, his skin was warm, calloused. She raised it to her mouth like she’d seen people do in movies, feeling Mingi’s gaze heavy on her face, and inhaled.

Bad idea.

The smoke burned her throat instantly, her lungs seizing in protest. She coughed, hard, covering her mouth as her eyes watered. Wooyoung barked out a laugh from where he was perched in a chair nearby.

Mingi just chuckled low in his chest, the sound sinking into her skin like heat. He plucked the blunt back from her fingers, tapping it out against the edge of an ashtray.

“Not bad for a first timer,” he said, flashing her a grin full of teeth.

Y/N wiped at her watering eyes, already feeling the faintest buzz starting to prickle at the edges of her brain. Everything felt just a little softer, a little slower. Her body didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

“You good?” Wooyoung asked, still laughing.

She nodded, a breathless laugh escaping her. “Yeah… yeah, I’m good.”

Mingi leaned in a little closer, close enough that she could see the silver stud glinting against his tongue when he spoke.

“You wanna try again?” he asked, voice a slow drawl. “I’ll help you.”

There was something in the way he said it, low and thick, curling at the edges of her spine, that made her pulse spike.

Before she could second guess herself, y/n nodded.

Mingi brought the blunt back to his lips, took a slow, deep drag, and then leaned toward her, closer, closer, until there was barely an inch between them. His hand cupped her jaw, tilting her face up gently.

“Open,” he murmured.

And y/n, without even thinking, parted her lips.

Mingi exhaled the smoke into her mouth, warm and sweet and dizzying, and y/n inhaled it like a prayer, like a sin she already knew she’d beg forgiveness for later. His thumb stroked a lazy line across her jaw as he pulled back, watching her through heavy lidded eyes.

The world tilted a little on its axis.

Everything inside her, the stress, the exhaustion, the constant weight she carried, faded for a second under the heavy rush of heat pooling low in her belly.

Wooyoung whistled low under his breath. “Damn. Should I leave you two alone?”

Mingi just smirked, slow and dangerous.

Y/N didn’t even know what to say. All she could do was sit there, lungs burning, heart hammering, feeling like she was slipping, falling straight into the kind of trouble she didn’t think she wanted to be saved from.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

They hung around for a little while longer, the conversation lazy and looping. Mingi had this easy way about him, he didn’t say much, but when he did, it was sharp, funny, a little wicked. Y/N found herself smiling more than she had in days, even if half the time she couldn’t tell if it was from the weed or the way he looked at her like he already knew exactly how much she was unraveling inside.

Wooyoung eventually slapped his hands against his thighs and stood up. “Alright, you know why I’m really here,” he said grinning.

Mingi snorted, pushing up from the couch and disappearing into the other room for a second. He came back with a small purple colored ziplock bag, tossing it lazily to Wooyoung, who caught it one handed.

“Same as usual,” Mingi said, settling back down with a grunt.

Wooyoung fished some crumpled bills out of his pocket and dropped them onto the cluttered coffee table. “Pleasure doing business as always, my good sir.”

“You’re a pain in my ass,” Mingi said without heat.

Then, as Wooyoung tucked the bag away and moved to grab his jacket, Mingi leaned forward, snagging another rolling paper from a small tin on the table. His ringed fingers made quick work of it, the movements practiced and slow, like he had nothing but time.

Without being asked, without even really looking at her, Mingi rolled another blunt. This one he licked closed, sealing it with a flick of his tongue that had y/n stomach tightening sharply.

“For you,” he said, voice low and rough, that half smirk curling at the edges of his mouth again. “Your own.”

Y/N hesitated, glancing at Wooyoung, but he just shrugged, grinning like he knew exactly what was happening here.

“Consider it a welcome gift,” Mingi added, his fingers brushing hers deliberately as she took it.

The weight of it felt heavier than it should in her hand. She tucked it carefully into the inside pocket of her hoodie, heart thudding stupidly in her chest.

“Thanks,” she said, her voice a little too soft, a little too shaky.

Mingi just leaned back, arms draped lazily over the back of the couch, eyes glinting with something unreadable.

“See you around. ” he said, like a promise.

Wooyoung whistled low under his breath as they stepped back out into the cold hallway. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered, laughing as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’re so fucked.”

Y/N didn’t answer.

She just kept walking, the little weight of the blunt in her pocket like a brand against her side, Mingi’s rough voice still echoing in her head.

Maybe she was fucked.

And maybe, deep down, she didn’t even mind.

═════════ ═════════ ═════════

The cafe was its usual mid afternoon slow shift, a few students hunched over laptops, a couple regulars nursing cold coffees they’d been nursing for hours. The hum of soft indie music filled the air, blending with the hiss of the espresso machine behind the counter.

Y/N leaned against the counter, chin resting in her hand, fighting to keep her eyes open. She hadn’t been sleeping well, every time she closed her eyes, her mind spun with deadlines and half finished thoughts… and the lingering memory of rough fingers brushing hers, a deep voice rumbling….

see you around

The blunt still sat hidden in her desk drawer, untouched. She didn’t know why she hadn’t smoked it yet, maybe because part of her knew it wasn’t just a blunt. It was a line, and once she crossed it, she wasn’t sure she’d come back the same.

Wooyoung dropped a dirty rag on the counter in front of her with a grin. “Wake up, sleeping beauty. I’m not getting stuck on closing shift because you faceplanted into the pastry case.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, flipping him off half heartedly.

He laughed, tossing the rag into the back sink, and then straightened suddenly, eyes flicking toward the door.

Y/N turned and her stomach flipped violently.

Mingi stood just inside the entrance, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his black jacket, bleached hair spiked and messy. He looked a little out of place in the soft, pastel washed cafe, all sharp edges and dark energy but he didn’t seem to care.

He met her eyes across the room, and that slow, dangerous smile curved his mouth.

“Uh oh,” Wooyoung muttered under his breath, grinning like this was the best entertainment he’d had all week. “Your little crush is here.” He teased.

Y/N glared at him, cheeks burning, and shoved off the counter, smoothing her apron down nervously.

Mingi sauntered up to the register, stopping just close enough that she had to tilt her head back a little to meet his gaze. “Told you I would see you around.” He said, low and easy.

Y/N tried to roll her eyes, tried to pretend her pulse didn’t trip over itself. “Hey,” she managed, voice only slightly breathless. “What can I get for you?”

Mingi leaned in, bracing his elbows casually on the counter. His eyes dragged over her face, lingering just a beat too long on her mouth before he spoke. “Coffee,” he said finally. “Black. Whatever’s strongest.”

“Coming right up,” she mumbled, turning quickly to pour it. She could feel his gaze heavy on her back the whole time.

When she slid the cup across the counter to him, their fingers brushed again, deliberate this time. A little spark zipped up her arm, sharp enough to make her breath hitch.

Mingi didn’t pull away. He held the cup steady, eyes dark and unreadable. “You smoke that yet?” he asked, voice pitched low so only she could hear.

Y/N mouth went dry. She shook her head, almost imperceptibly.

Mingi’s smile deepened, slow and wicked, like he knew exactly why. Like he knew exactly what she was afraid of.

“Good,” he murmured. “Wait until you got someone around who knows how to take care of you.”

He tapped two fingers lightly against the side of his cup, like a secret, like a warning and then turned, sauntering back out into the cold afternoon without a glance back.

Y/N stood frozen behind the counter, heart thudding painfully against her ribs.

Wooyoung let out a long, low whistle from behind her. “Yeah,” he said, laughing. “You are so fucked.”

She couldn’t even argue.

Not when every part of her was already aching for more.

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permanent tag list: @straycat420 @autieofthevalley @dejatiny @hannahlilibet411 @xh01bri @jintastic-yuyu @maddycline @ultrapinkvoidbouquet @wooyoungsbrat @lucid-galaxys-world @ecriggs1990

[orchidsarchives]

Dick sat at the dinning room table, his case files scattered and his dinner cold. The room was quiet and fairly dim, his only light source was from a small lamp in the kitchen. He eyed the clock on the stove and then leaned back against his chair. The hard metal felt cool against his bare skin and he ran his hands across his face, frustrated.

There was a sudden upsurge of crimes in Bludhaven, all different MO’s, however, Dick couldn’t help but shake the feeling that there was something else going on. There was a connection there, he just didn’t know what it was yet.

Dick pulled his hands away from his face and went back to the file that laid in front of him. He read to himself silently, highlighting and circling important details, trying to find the missing link between the crimes.

It seemed as if hours had passed by, his body ached and his fingers felt sore, but he carried on with his research, desperate and determined.

“Dick, you’re still awake,” your gentle voice suddenly spoke up, pulling him out his trance. He finished reading his sentence before he looked up at you.

He stared at your heavy-eyed and sluggish state, he smiled at the sight of your messy hair. You looked breathtakingly beautiful to him.

“Yeah, I’m almost done though,” he said, yawning. You walked over to the dinning table, the pads of your feet softly tapping against the wooden floors, and you sat down on the chair next to him. He reached his hand out, and with just one swift move, pulled the chair closer to him. It scratched against the floor and you gasped at the sudden movement.

“You were too far,” he whined, while grabbing your hand. He placed a quick peck against your knuckles and you smiled sheepishly at his affection.

Dick was always physically affectionate. He needed to have his hands on you at all times, the small of your back, your waist, your shoulders, he just needed to hold you. You often thought it was his way of grounding himself, especially when he was overwhelmed or overly excited.

You pushed yourself closer to him and gently rested your head on his shoulder. You eyed the mess on the table and that’s when you noticed the neglected plate of food. Your heart dropped.

“Oh my god, you didn’t eat,” you exclaimed, moving your head away from him. You were quick to get up, ready to reheat the meal for him, but he grabbed your wrist before you could leave.

“Sit,” he said and you did.

“But-”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry,” the worried look in your eyes pulled at his heart strings, and he spoke up again, “I’ll have a big breakfast in the morning.”

“Promise,” you asked, holding out your pinky. You wanted to ask him to eat right then and there, but you knew it was no use. He was stubborn and worked up over the case files, food was the last thing on his mind.

“Promise,” Dick said, connecting his own pinky with yours, he placed a quick kiss against your lips to seal the deal.

“Will you come to bed soon,” you asked and he nodded in response. “Okay, I’ll wait until you’re ready then.” Dick smiled with his heart full and his eyes heavy.

Dick was loved by many, adored even, but no one made him feel the way that you did. No one cared for him like you did.

“Alright, let’s go to sleep now,” he said abruptly, closing his pen with its cap. He stared at the mess of papers on the table and decided that it was a problem for the morning.

“But I thought you had more work to do” you questioned. He didn’t answer and instead lifted you in his arms, the action caught you off gaurd. It was always likes this with him, he was unpredictable, but comforting. You knew you were always safe with him.

You placed your arms around his shoulders and he held you bridal style up the stairs. You laughed at his antics while ruffling his messy brunette locks. He grinned and repeatedly kissed your cheek, enticing more giggles from you.

“Let’s get my baby back to bed,” he said softly before kissing your cheek one last time. Dick opened the bedroom door with his foot and placed you gently against the pale blue sheets.

He walked over to his side of the bed and stretched before laying down next to you. Once he got comfortable, you moved closer and placed your head on his bare chest. Your fingers instinctively wrapped themselves on to the small locket around his neck. He wore your initials. That too, with pride.

You traced the charm with your index finger and Dick let out a deep, exasperated sigh. He ran his hands through your hair. His fingers grazed your scalp and you hummed delightfully.

The moment was intimate and calming. It made your body feel limp with an overwhelming amount of comfort and it slowly lulled you to sleep.

Once Dick felt your soft, rhythmic breathing, he kissed your forehead before muttering a small “goodnight, doll,” and then, he finally let himself get the well needed rest.

[slytherinshua]

NIGHTS WITH YOU

genre. fluff. warnings. food (ramen). pairing. soobin x fem!reader. wc. 700. request. requested by @blue-jisungs (my baby) for #25: "are those my clothes" and #34: "where's my goodnight kiss?" a/n. i've been writing just so much sleepy fluff either sleepy morning fluff or sleepy bedtime fluff im not complaining cause its always so soft but yeah :(

Soobin stepped out of the bathroom, still drying his hair with a towel. His eyes immediately scoured around the room for you, and when he didn’t find you anywhere, a frown etched on his face. Since he had been at practice all day, you forced him to take a shower before delivering any hugs or kisses, despite how much he begged for them. It was a reasonable request, of course. He was sweaty and stinky— of course you’d rather kiss a clean Soobin. But your boyfriend hadn’t seen you all day and simply needed to be as close to you as possible for the rest of the night. 

He located you quickly, following the smell of spicy noodles to the kitchen. His eyes softened as he saw your figure, wearing one of his black t-shirts.  He pouted, coming up behind you to hold you in a back hug. 

“Are those my clothes?” He asked softly, a giddy smile growing on his face as soon as you laughed.

“You left your drawer open. They were practically asking for me to take them. Plus, they’re more comfortable than my pyjamas.” You said simply, stirring the sauce packet into the pot of ramen noodles you were preparing. 

Although Soobin’s shirts were much too big for you to wear daily, they made for the perfect oversized sleeping garment. As they were designed to fit your 6 foot man both height wise and broad back wise, they practically swallowed your figure. But you loved it, especially the way the shirts smelled exactly like your boyfriend. Soobin didn’t mind. How could he when you looked so cute in his clothes?

“We already share everything anyway. Including that ramen—?“

“No! You’re not getting any!” You shoved your boyfriend off of your back, defensively shielding the ramen pot from his prying hands. He frowned, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to find a way through, but each reach he took got expertly blocked by your chopsticks.

“That is not one bite. That’s like, 6 at least!” You slouched back onto Soobin’s chest, keeping up your pretend grumpiness after you had finally agreed to give him just one bite. Truthfully, you had prepared the ramen more for him than you in the first place. You just wanted to see him eat well after practice. But it was always fun to tease him. Admitting that you carefully prepared them for your boyfriend would make you look unbelievably whipped. Which you were, but you weren’t about to admit it out in the open.

“Here, open up.” Soobin said, holding the chopsticks up for you, feeding you the bite of ramen carefully. Maybe he was just as equally whipped. You whipped your frown off your face and snuggled closer to your boyfriend, enveloped by his fresh scent and warm skin. 

“I can’t believe Beomgyu got to see you more this week than me. It’s not fair.” You sighed, thinking back to the past couple of days. Even when Soobin didn't have a schedule, he’d busied himself in the company building with Beomgyu, playing games or writing lyrics. 

You had nothing against the younger member, you were as close to him as you were any of Soobin’s friends. But nothing hit you quite as hard as the loneliness you felt when Soobin was away from you. It felt nice to be back in his arms, knowing that there was nothing left for that day that would prevent you from falling asleep and waking up next to him. 

“Where’s my goodnight kiss?” Soobin asked once you were back in his arms after doing the dishes. 

“Right here.” You smiled, cupping his cheeks to bring his face down to your lips. As always, Soobin’s lips tasted heavenly. And, just like always, Soobin was the clingier of you two. He chased your lips every time you pulled away, causing you both to giggle. Countless soft pecks were placed around your face until his head hit the pillow and he gathered you up in his arms, close enough to hear his relaxed breath and steady heart beat. The rhythm lulled you to sleep, head resting against his chest and your back blanketed by his arms.

↳ txt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @90steele,, @ddeonudepressions,, @minholing,,

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[lordprettyflackotara]

WhoGoesThere? || Eyeless Jack || Part three

SMUT MINORS DNI 18+. tw: virginity loss, praise, breeding kink, possessive kink¿ if you squint, a tiny bit of blood related to the virginity loss. this is the fluffiest smut you guys are ever gonna get from me. enjoy ;)

Jack wasn’t quite sure what to do with you.

He wasn’t even sure how humans functioned on a traditional schedule. He was used to being mostly nocturnal, not worried about water intake. He only ate when he was absolutely hungry and couldn’t stand it anymore. But he knew humans preferred a regular sleeping cycle and eating habits. So, he did what he thought was best. He sprinted to the mansion, digging into the stash of the proxies food. He returned with a clean set of clothes, ones from his personal closet. A pair of basketball shorts and hoodie wasn’t ideal, but at least you wouldn’t be tempting him by wearing that short dress.

Jack proudly stood in front of his findings, several water bottles and a box of cereal sitting on the kitchen counter. It wasn’t long before you trailed out of the bedroom, your hair tangled and makeup smudged. Your head was pounding, your body feeling sluggish. “Remind me to never drink again,” You said. Jack grabbed a bottle of water, extending it to you. “This’ll help,” He told you. You took the bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and chugging it quickly. Jack nervously glanced at the two remaining water bottles. Yeah, he should’ve accounted for your dehydration. He had forgotten how much alcohol dehydrates a traditional human system.

“So, about last night.”

Jack looked at you, watching as you went to uncomb your matted hair with your fingers.

“I was serious about what I said you know,” You continued. Jack furrowed his eyebrows unsurely. You pulled your dress down, adjusting the fallen strap on your shoulder, “I want you to take my virginity.”

Jack stood there, shifting his weight on either foot. “I’m not opposed, I just don’t quite understand why?” Jack answered. You had truly puzzled him. Why would a magnificent creature like you suggest in mating with someone like him? “Well, you’re tall, smart, and quite honestly you’re extremely attractive,” You confessed. Jack thought about your words, your compliments making his heart throb. “You don’t even know what I look like,” Jack said bluntly. No matter how much he wanted to be in between your thighs, he didn’t want to scar such a life changing event for you because of his rough exterior. Nonchalantly you grabbed the box of fruit loops, walking over to the fridge.

“I wouldn’t open that if I were you,” Jack warned. Sure, the cabin had a slim possibility of having electricity. But based on previous tenants there was no guessing how much rotten food had complied in that refrigerator. “Do you not have milk?” You asked. Jack could’ve face palmed if you weren’t standing before him. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore how embarrassed he felt. “Um no I do not. Sorry. But I got you a change of clothes,” Jack replied. He held his clothes out to you, happy that you took them. They were going to be massive on you, but they’d fit somehow and that’s all that mattered to him.

“Thank you,” You said. You immediately went to take off your dress, Jack quick to turn around. You were so relaxed around him, he couldn’t understand it. Surely you didn’t know who he was or what he was. Or all of the terrible things he had done. You didn’t deserve to lose something so precious to a monster like him. “I don’t care what you look like. I know what I want,” You declared. You slid on his hoodie and shorts, gently grabbing his shoulder to guide him to turn around. Jack sighed. He couldn’t deny that your scent was intoxicating. Nor could he deny how badly he craved to hear your voice. The mere thought of you squirming and whimpering beneath him sent him in a frenzy.

He straightened his shoulders. He could feel his stomach rumbling. If he was going to allow this to happen, he needed to be sure he ate first. Otherwise you’d become the main meal. “I’ll make you a deal. Meet me here tonight. I’ll make the bedroom inhabitable. You can have some more time to think about if this is what you truly want,” Jack offered. It also gave him time to have a full stomach before allowing himself to be in the same room as you. You nodded, eating a handful of cereal. “If you change your mind, don’t come. It won’t hurt my feelings,” Jack lied. Even if you did change your mind, he hoped you would come provide him with company.

You stood on your tippy toes, ruffling his chestnut hair, “You’re cute Jack. I’ll see you tonight.”

With those words hanging in the air you left the cabin, cereal box in hand. You left Jack in wonder, watching as you strolled back to civilization.

\/

To say Jack was nervous was an understatement. If he had participated in intercourse before it was long before his rebirth. He knew how it worked, of course. He was going to be a doctor after all, once upon a time. He knew the human body, male and female, inside and out. To prepare himself he watched lots of traditional porn, attempting to understand what made a female feel good. Unfortunately for him, Ben’s old school VHS tapes provided nothing educational nor entertaining. So instead he spent the day preparing the cabin. Thankfully due to Slenderman’s ancient ways he was able to grab many long cream colored candles.

He was displeased to discover the cabin did not have electricity, but the dim lighting provided him with a little bit of ease. Maybe his appearance wouldn’t be astoundingly off putting in a room like that. Jack ensured the bedding was clean, this time bringing toiletry items that might be suitable for a female. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothbrush and paste. Jane would not be happy once she discovered her secret stash of hygiene products would be tampered with. But to Jack, it was between her and robbing a gas station. That was sure to ruin his plans for the evening.

Jack showered himself, pleased that the cabin did have running water. He scrubbed every inch of his being, his stomach full. To make himself feel better he didn’t kill his last victim, he simply stole what was needed and was on his way. He brushed his teeth until his gums bled. He was trying his hardest to appear appealing, even if he was disgusted with himself everytime he looked in the mirror. The sun fell from the sky faster than Jack wanted it to. He anxiously sat in the living room, awaiting your arrival. What if you got lost? It wasn’t exactly safe to let you travel here on your own.

His leg bounced up and down, a sigh of relief escaping his lips once he heard a knock on the door. Jack sprang up from his seat, his heart thudding with nervousness. He opened the door, your doe eyes staring up at him. “Hi Jack,” You greeted softly. Jack swallowed, the faint taste of mint toothpaste still prominent on his tongue. “Hi. Um, come in,” He gestured awkwardly. He led you to the bedroom, unsurely stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket. Why was this so difficult? He pushed open the door, the dozens of candles softly illuminating the room. You stared at the gesture in awe, giving him a soft smile. You walked over to the bed, sitting on the side.

“Come here Jack,” You instructed. Jack was completely at your disposal. You had meant for him to sit beside you, the demon instead lowering himself to his knees in front of you. “You need to see what I look like before we do this. I need you to be sure,” Jack choked out. You opened your legs, your feet planted on either side Jacks nervous body. “You’re practically shaking Jack. Relax,” You whispered. You slowly pulled down his hood, the demon gulping as you gently pushed the mask upwards. His lips and nose looked normal to you, your heart picking up the pace once you took the mask all of the way off. You and Jack stared back at each other. Black ooze dripped down his eye sockets, empty holes replacing where his eyes should’ve been. Jack stared right back at you, his face full of visible nervousness and anticipation.

He blinked, studying your face. You said nothing, your face empty of an expression. He could hear your heart racing, a sure sign you found him revolting. Jacks breath hitched as you brushed some of his hair away from his forehead. Your fingertips were gentle against his ash gray skin. Slowly and unsurely you cupped Jacks cheek into your hand, studying him. You touched him as if he were made of glass. You felt tongue tied, the thoughts running through your head far from appropriate. “This is why they call you EJ?” You guessed. Jack nodded shyly, his cheeks flushing with heat. This was a terrible idea. This was beyond stupid. It was then you lifted his chin, bringing your lips to his.

Jacks breath hitched as he struggled to comprehend what was happening. He kissed you back, your lips warm and soft against his. “You are the most enchanting creature i’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. And if i’m being blunt, I want you to fuck me now,” You whispered. Jack was on you in an instant, climbing on top of the bed. He tried to contain himself, his lips moving against yours quickly and desperately. “I have to warn you. I can be a bit.. rough. It’s my nature,” Jack panted. He was hovering above you, staring down at the angelic sight that was you beneath him. “Well since we’re giving warnings, i’ve never done anything beyond making out,” You confessed. Jack was sure his cheeks were scarlett red. He could tell you felt just as flushed, a pink tint visible on your cheeks.

“You’ve never um, played with yourself?” Jack asked. You shook your head. “I’ve um, tried it’s just never felt right. If that makes sense,” You answered honestly. Jack nodded, leaning back and shoving his hoodie over his shoulders. He tossed it aside. You were so small beneath him. Was this safe? Was this ethical? His mind rattled with questions, before he finally leaned back down over you. “Just tell me what feels good, alright? Are you sure about this?” Jack asked again. He searched your face for any sign of hesitation, surprised to see he found none.

“Jack, please.”

Your plea ignited a small inside of him, his hands roaming your body. They grabbed the hem of your shirt, tossing it over your body and side. He reattached his lips to yours, his lips moving desperately as he squeezed your flesh teasingly. His large hands landed on your breast, tenderly groping them. A small groan escaped your lips, his eager ones swallowing it whole. He strayed away from your lips, tenderly pressing kisses down the side of your face to your neck. You wrapped your arms around him, your heart racing even faster as he kissed down your chest. He stopped at your chest. “Lean forward for me,” Jack murmured. You sat up, allowing him to unclasp your bra and toss it aside.

He swallowed as he lowered himself to your exposed breath, taking your left nipple into his mouth. He was pleasantly surprised to hear your whimpers, one of your hands embedding itself in his hair. You tugged at his locs, quite embarrassed at the noises you were making. “Fuck, Jack,” You whined. He released your nipple with a pop, the sensitive bud hardening under the cool night air. He took it between his fingers, attaching his mouth to your right one. You were squirming underneath him, your hips involuntarily bucking upwards. Teasingly he grazed your nipple with his sharp teeth, a jagged moan escaping your throat. He released it with a pop, giving you a cocky smirk. “That feel good?” He asked. You nodded profusely, looking at him.

His cock was throbbing in his pants, his outline visible to you even with the dim lighting. “How i-is that gonna fit?” You stumbled out. Jack was already massive in comparison to you. And that didn’t include factoring in the size of his cock. “I’ll make it fit. Just need to loosen you up first,” Jack cooed. He laced his fingers with the hem of your skirt and panties, pulling them downwards. He guided you to spread your legs, your eyes screwed shut in embarrassment. “Such a pretty pussy,” Jack praised. He lowered himself in between your thighs, running a finger up and down your slick. “And so wet. All for me?” Jack purred. His large hands kept your thighs pried apart, a sly grin spreading across his lips. Jack had never thought much of having three tongues. He never saw a use for them. Nor did he have any idea what to do with them, until Ben made a few crude jokes.

Looking back he was disgusted, but now as your core throbbed to be touched, he’d have to remember to thank Ben for the idea. He used the first one to lick up your folds, your hands immediately reattaching themselves to his hair. Teasingly he brought the second one to your entrance, slowly pushing it inside. He felt your thighs shudder for a moment, your walls spasming around his tongue. He used the first one to toy with your clit, flicking the bud as quickly as possible. He listened to your body intently, allowing you to adjust before curling his tongue upwards. Your hips lifted off of the bed, his firm hands securing you into place. “Fucking, fuck!” You moaned. You threw your head back, Jack groaning into your cunt as he pushed in his second tongue.

He used the two to curl upwards, brushing against your g spot. Your thighs attempted to squeezed around his head, an unfamiliar knot forming in your stomach. Jack’s tongues were relentless, prodding and toying with you as he pleased. He couldn’t get enough of your taste, your arousal sending him into a frenzy. The sinful noises that left your lips bounced off of the cabin walls, your thighs beginning to tremble. “Oh fuck! I’m gonna cum, Jack please make me cum, Jack!” You groaned, creaming around his tongues. Your juices tasted divine, the demon eagerly lapping at your slick. He slowly emerged from your thighs, his lips and chin covered in your juices. He was quite comfortable in between your thighs and he did not anticipate on going anywhere. Slowly he brought his thick fingers to your entrance, shoving two inside of you.

You whined in pain, grabbing at his wrist. He leaned forward, bringing himself close to your ear. “Shhh it’s okay. You can do it. Such a good girl,” He praised. His breath was hot against your skin, his thumb beginning to circle your overstimulated clit. You swallowed, pulling him closer. His fingers repeated the same action, brushing upwards on your g spot. He began to do a scissoring motion, stretching you out as much as possible. Your painful whimpers turned into loud moans. “Thats it. Look at you, taking my fingers so well,” Jack purred. You grabbed onto his wrist, your other hand gripping a handful of the sheets. “Awe what’s this? Do you want me to stop?” Jack teased.

You were a babbling mess. “N-no just need to hang o-on to something,” You rambled, stumbling over each word. Jack could hear your heart pounding, the sound music to his ears. His fingers were relentless as he finger fucked you, satisfied with you withering below him. “Awe is someone close for me? You wanna be a good girl and cum for me?” Jack asked. You propped yourself up on your elbows, meeting his gaze. “Wanna b-be good. Wanna cum,” You say. Jack leaned forward, cupping your face with his other hand. “Open your mouth,” He grunted. You did as instructed, his thumb entering your mouth. You immediately sucked it the best you could, the feeling only making Jack harder.

“Oh you dirty girl. Cum for me. Cum for me all over my fucking fingers,” Jack growled. You were in a trance, your legs shaking as you came all over his fingers. Your tongue swirled around his tongue, a sigh escaping your lips as he removed his fingers from your cunt. Jack began to fiddle with his belt, removing his thumb from your mouth. “Are you sure about this?” Jack asked again. His cock sprang out from his boxers, his shaft much longer than you had ever seen in porn before. “Jack… please,” You whispered. Jack couldn’t deny you any longer, his own primal urges overshadowing any reservations he might’ve had. He leaned forward, lacing his fingers with yours. With the other hand he brushed his tip up and down your slick, trying to gather as much lubrication as possible. His gaze met yours. “Are you ready?” Jack asked you. You babbled in agreement, squeezing his hand.

Jack buried himself in the crook of your neck, slowly shoving himself inside of you. You whined in pain, your walls squeezing his cock so tight he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to go further. “It’s okay. I got you. It’s alright,” Jack cooed in your ear. He pressed kisses against your neck, slowly sinking in further. It was then Jack could smell the faintest scent of blood, causing him to look down. A thin ring of the crimson paint covered his cock, his shaft not all the way in yet. Jack slithered his spare hand to your clit, rubbing slow and purposeful circles around the bud. He could feel your body start to relax. “You’re doing so good for me,” He mumbled into your skin. It wasn’t long before he was able to fully bottom out.

You both were panting, the gears in Jacks head turning. He had never fucked anyone or anything since he had became a demon. He had never allowed himself to give in to the hormonal urges. Yet, as he was balls deep into your cunt, it was like a switch in him flicked. Unintentionally Jack was rough with everything he handled. He knew he had to be careful with you, but his mind was screaming at him to give in. He slowly began to move, grunting into your neck. Your painful whines turned into pleasurable groans the more he moved, your sounds giving him more motivation. The more he fucked you, the more his body demanded to breed you. It demanded for him to deem you as his mate.

He leaned back, grabbing your legs and throwing them over his shoulders. Jack was fucking you as deeply as he could, your mewls sending waves of satisfaction over him. “Such a good little thing. Taking me like this,” He panted. His cock abused your cunt as he pleased, your legs beginning to shake. “You’re fucking milking me. It’s like you’re begging me to cum inside of you,” Jack groaned. He could feel your gushy walls fluttering around him, causing him to smirk. “Oh I see. You’d like that wouldn’t you? To carry my little demon spawn?” He chuckled darkly. You were a babbling mess, your body’s reaction telling him everything he needed to know.

“Never would’ve taken you for the type into breeding,” Jack muttered to himself. He continued to snap his hips into yours, holding your legs proudly over his shoulders as he fucked you into the mattress. “This cunt is mine, do you understand? Ryan doesnt matter. He can fuck you all he wants but you’ll always be thinking of me, won’t you?” Jack rambled. His possessiveness was making a grand appearance, the demon having a hard time keeping it together. You babbled an agreement, your mouth hanging open as he slammed into you. “Be a good little girl for me and cum on my cock. Go on,” Jack huffed. With another circle from his fingers your body shook under his, creaming on the demons cock. Your heart was racing so loudly it was all Jack could hear, the sound sending him over the edge.

He panted as he set your legs down, his seed down deep and buried into your womb. You were spent, your vision hazy and body exhausted. Jack slowly pulled out of you, watching your body tremble slightly. You were in no state to take care of yourself, the demon picking you up instinctively. He walked you over to the bathroom, guiding you to stand on the cold marble floor. “You need to pee,” He ordered. You raised your eyebrows, your face going with an afterglow. “Thats the last thing I expected you to say to me after that,” You chuckled. Jack raised his eyebrows, “What? It’s necessary to prevent future issues.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. You gently shoved him towards the door. “Get out so I can pee,” You say. He stood in the hallway, allowing you to shut the door for some privacy. Why you were insistent upon privacy to urinate after he had just fucked you senseless, Jack didn’t know. But what he did know, was that he wanted to fuck you again and again and again.

[themochiverse]

Lost | JJK

➳ Pairing: yandere!kidnapper!jk x kidnapped!fem!reader

➳ Genre: Yandere, Angst

➳ Warnings: Swearing, kidnapped reader, jungkook is a bit violent to the reader, implied stalking, implied past assaults, Dub-con/Non-Con kissing and touching, Jungkook degrades the reader, drugging (sleeping pills), implied overdose to kill, suicidal thoughts, hair pulling, and scratches...

➳ Synopsis: When you try to escape from your captor's home one more time, there's always this feeling of lostness, and you don't know why but always feel lost. Lost in thoughts, lost in false hope, and lost in the woods with him.

➳ Word Count: 3k+

➳ Disclaimer: This fanfic is purely from my imagination, I do not intend to harm any Idol or person in any way. Nor sexualising them. Please do not steal any ideas from here, this is all of my work and original work. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOUR.

Lost ©Copyright -2024- themochiverse - All Rights Reserved

No part of the story can be copied, reproduced, redistributed or transformed into any other form. Meaning no photocopying, recording whether written or electrically. No methods are allowed that use anything from this fic. This follows in the permitted Copyright Law. All images and/or gifs go to their rightful owners.

A/N: Finally wrote something in a while, hope you guys like it :)) Also please don't read if you feel uncomfortable, warnings have been listed above.

Taglist; @minshookie29 @6tslovr @proflyndo @pinkcherrybombs @papijiminfeed @justanotherstarlightmonger @kittykatfey @princess-sunshyn @jinniesjoon94

The dim light in the room emitted a warm, orangish-yellow glow, enveloping the space as your fingers were scratching the corner of a table. The gentle hue seemed to intensify the temperature, wrapping you in a sultry embrace, and causing beads of sweat to form on your skin. As the light flickered softly, your heart thudded in your chest, the rhythm echoing in the stillness of the room.

You gulped, and your foot impatiently tapped the wooden floorboards and it immediately stopped once you heard his footsteps. Your gaze was fixated on the corner of the table— you didn't want to look up.

You wanted to ignore him, wanted to ignore that bile feeling in your stomach that made you nauseous. His boots stomped across the room, getting closer to you and your fingers intensified the scratching.

Jungkook dipped his head towards your neck, his warm breath gently brushing over your skin, as it sent a shiver down your spine. His hands were tangled in the locks of your hair, and he pulled it gently. He kissed the side of your neck and rested his chin on your head.

"Food's cold."

Your eyes darted to the plate of food he had given you not long ago, and you hadn't touched it since he left for some errands. Normally you would eat the meals he made for you but your mind was eating you up, the constant thought of him possibly knowing you tried to escape last night.

But how would he know? Even if you had slipped a pill into his meal, which knocked him out for about thirty minutes, how would you escape? When you opened the front door the chilly air that hit you caused you to blink several times.

You were free. You finally get to leave.

But as you took the first step outside, your eyes scanned the tall trees that decorated the entire area. Your heart sank. You couldn't get out of this place because you don't know how to.

Where would you go even if you had run deep into the woods? Would you even find a road? A path that could lead you to a sane person? You tried to reason with yourself as you looked back inside. This was your chance to get away from a monster like him, you could report him to the police and go back to your family and friends...

But what if he found you? What if you were lost, and by the time he woke up and figured out you were gone, what would he do? He'd go berserk, and he will find you. You don't know why but you're certain of it. You don't know the woods very well unlike him.

Jungkook knows his way around this deserted place, he's lived in this small cabin for years now, and he held you captive for months now. Of course, he would know, he prepared it just for you. What if you died while trying to escape? What if—

You closed the door as your back rested against it. You were so pathetic, so hopeless.

You stood up and walked up the creaky stairs, entering the bedroom where Jungkook was sleeping on. The effect of the pill even had such good timing that it hit him when he was getting ready for bed with you anyway.

Yet, you wasted it.

A scream was lodged in your throat, and your lips trembled. You hated to cry, but you couldn't help it. The warm tears trailed down your face as you crawled onto the bed.

Kill him.

Your own mind spoke to you, and your breaths shook as you heard your next words.

Go on. Wrap your hands around his neck, and kill him.

Decorate him like a bow on a present, and kiss his lips until you can't breathe anymore.

Your eyes widened when your hands were on his neck. They squeezed the fragile base, and you could feel his pulse. Slow and rhythmic, and it matched the quiet breaths he let out.

You inspected his face, and his hair fell on the top of his eyebrows, his eyelids were shut and his lips were parted open.

He was demented, a cruel person. You won't ever forget the things he did to you, how you felt so humiliated because of him. He took you away from your loved ones just so he could selfishly keep you and show his immense love curated just for you.

But you still couldn't do it.

You pulled your hands away quickly and Jungkook's fingers twitched. There wasn't much time left till he woke up. If you killed him, you would have won and lost at the same time.

You had no idea where you were, and there was no cell reception for you to call anyone. How would you prepare food, and fend for yourself? You don't even know a pathway that could help you to leave this damn forest. What would you do without him? But at least he would be gone.

You sighed and wiped your tears away, and you curled up next to him. You don't know why but your hands automatically reached out to play with his hair until you fell asleep. You don't know why but there was a part of you that didn't want to leave him.

You snapped back into reality once you felt Jungkook slither his arms down your shoulders as he murmured softly.

"Come to the bedroom with me, baby."

You didn't hesitate to follow behind him, and even if you didn't want to come he'd force you to anyway. Jungkook shut the door once you stepped inside the bedroom, and he took off his leather jacket before he put it back on again.

He sat on the edge of the bed and checked out the dress you wore for him. A white mini dress adorned with white laced straps, and the soft, flimsy part stopped on your thighs midway. The embodiment of the outfit hugged your structure beautifully like a doll, and Jungkook couldn't control his growing desire for you.

He patted his lap, and his words came out in a command.

"Sit."

You took a step forward, and Jungkook grabbed your waist, making you sit down on his lap. One arm was wrapped around your waist tightly, and his other hand gripped your chin. Your faces were inches away from each other as Jungkook stared at you intently.

"You wanna tell me something, beautiful?"

Dear god no..

You shook your head at him, watching his lips form into a frown.

"Don't lie to me sweetheart, you know I don't like lying."

His tone had turned serious, and your stomach churned uncomfortably. Jungkook shuffled his arm to get something from his pocket, and he retrieved the item, showing it to you.

"What were these doing under the bed, baby?"

He shook the container filled with sleeping pills, (blue and white) and your fingers dug into his shoulders firmly. Your eyes were filled with terror, and panic flooded in your veins.

Jungkook chuckled at your reaction, and he brought your chin closer to his face. You were forced to stare at him, to look into the eyes that frightened you almost every day, no matter how loving he tried to be.

They were crazed...a look you never wanted to see. His tongue peeked out from his lips, and it traced the silver piercing that was on the flesh of his lips.

"You really think you knocked me out last night?"

Your heart banged against your ribcage, and your breathing increased. He can't know, he can't, he can't, he can't-

"Did you think I wouldn't notice the little act of you wanting to cook for me all of a sudden? Huh?"

Jungkook squeezed your cheeks harshly, and his lips moved against your cheek.

"I wanted to play along. Give you that feeling of being triumphant over something ridiculous. You really are a fool, aren't you?"

Your eyes darted away from his, and your hands were off his shoulders. You yelped softly when you felt him push you even further into him, your chests touching each other as he made sure he held you more securely.

His hand flew to your neck, and he grabbed it roughly, and his nails dug into your skin.

"Eyes on me when I'm fucking talking to you. And don't even think about fighting back." Jungkook's eyes narrowed and darkened as he spoke right against your quivering lips.

Your heart was beating rapidly, and you felt suffocated as if the smoke from a wildfire was in the room. He found out...Jungkook found out.

"When you tried to choke me- honestly...I was surprised. But I knew you didn't have it in you. You wanna know why? It's because you're a fucking pussy, baby. You don't have the guts to kill someone."

A laugh vibrated wholeheartedly from his chest and you felt his cold hand drawing circles on your thigh. He put his lips towards your neck, taking a long inhale before he spoke again.

"You were such a good girl a couple of days ago, what happened to that good little girl who listened to me? Hm?"

You wanted to get out of his grip so bad. Your palms, slick with fear adhered to his shirt like trembling moths ensnared in the silky strands of a spider's web. Your delicate touch betrayed the intensity of your uneasiness with each shuddering breath you took.

Jungkook pulled away from you, a sudden thought coming to his mind. He stops drawing circles on your thighs, and he tilts his head slightly.

"I'm going to give you a chance to run away, okay?"

No.

"Gonna count till...thirty, and you're going to run into those woods as fast as you can."

Stop.

"If I find you..." his hands slide up on the side of your body, arms encircling around your back, "I'm gonna shove these down your pretty little throat, got it?"

Jungkook motioned to the sleeping pill container, sending a wave of goosebumps flying over you, and the hairs on your neck stood as you took a solid gulp. He leaned in, pressing his lips against yours before he pulled away. His arms loosened around your back, brushing your hair away from your face. He lowered his forehead against yours, murmuring softly.

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

For a moment, you were in a daze, lost in his eyes, captured in them. You didn't want to leave since he was probably messing around with you. You couldn't help but continue to stare at his doe eyes as your reflection glowed inside those dark eyes.

How were you so lost in them? Lost in the eyes of a man who kidnapped you, claiming he loved you. You were lost in your life, alone with no proper companion. Your life was already ruined, and you ached to be loved by someone. That's why he took you because he had a reason, and you didn't have a reason to deny it. You needed someone, and Jungkook claimed that he was the one.

He's observed you before, and you caught his eyes like a hawk once you bumped into him on your way to work. That's why he was able to snatch you on a cold Winter night, and he caught you, his prey, so easily. Why? You were lost, just lost in reality, lost in your depressive thoughts, and lost in love. You were just a poor girl lost in her delusions and wondering if your life would have been different if you had chosen the right decisions. You didn't notice him walking behind you, advancing on you before you could even utter a single scream.

It was an impulse and before you knew it your lips attached to Jungkook's moving ones. You grabbed onto his shirt, kissing him with soft movements.

Kissing him till you couldn't breathe anymore.

His hand was tangled in your hair and he pulled you closer, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. It was like Jungkook got the message, you wanted some hope, false hope to be exact. His tongue prodded at your lips before it slipped inside, and your body was growing hot as you both made out.

You almost let out a whine when he sucked and nipped on your bottom lip before he pulled away. You watched the way his chest rose and fell before a breathy laugh escaped his lips. His eyes scanned your face, and Jungkook grinned. He brought his hand to your face, wiping fresh tears off your face.

You were crying? Of course, just lost again but lost with him in an intimate moment.

He cupped your face, and his head beckoned to the door.

"Still haven't finished yet, baby, I'm close to twenty, you sure you don't wanna run now?"

You let out a quiet sniffle, getting off of him and once you left the room you sprinted down the stairs. You didn't bother to put your shoes on as you ran into the woods, your white socks already muddied. You ran and ran, and this time you noticed yourself crying. Why has your life turned into this? Why did you kiss him?

Your body shook with each step you took and each shuddering breath made you want to give up. It was completely dark, and the tall trees engulfed the entire area. There was barely any light, how were you even going to get away from him? The wind blew harshly over your face as you slowed down, stopping at a trail that seemed endless.

You wanted to laugh, but why did you even attempt to escape yesterday? Why did you even think about escaping in the first place? You know what happens, Jungkook has taught you several times but you just don't stop. Your life was shitty, your family disowned you because you were a disappointment to them. Your friends were toxic and fake, and you were alone. And you hated that.

Is that why you kissed him?

You kissed him because he was the only person who knew what your life was like, you kissed him because you were scared or maybe you kissed him because you were lost in the emotions you felt about him, and about yourself. There were moments when you were sad, and the next when you felt angry, rebellious, hopeless, irritated and lost.

Just run.

Just fucking run and stop thinking.

You're getting lost in your thoughts again, and he was going to catch you if you didn't stop now.

So you ran, and your heart was throbbing in your ears. Twigs snapped, birds cawed and for a second you thought you heard Jungkook.

You could hear another set of footsteps behind you, and the realisation dawned upon you. He's right behind you. You forced yourself to run even faster, ignoring the cuts that were plastered on your skin. You were running out of breath and your legs wobbled, they began to ache. You can't give up when you've come this far.

You can hear him getting closer to you. When you looked up straight ahead, there was a faint light that glowed uphill. A light! It could be a car, a home, or somebody. You bit your lip as you tried to go uphill, the pain in your feet grew as you stepped on sharp twigs and debris, desperately trying to climb up. You squinted your eyes to see a road, and your hope grew instantly.

You could leave, you could find someone and call for help, you could finally get away from him—

Jungkook's arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back against his chest. A scream erupted from your throat, and you thrashed in his hold.

No— you were right there, you were about to escape.

A sob broke from your lips as you kicked your legs, doing anything to get out of his hold. His lips brushed over the shell of your ear, his hold on you tightening.

"Shh," his voice didn't soothe whatever you felt right now, "if you fight me back, I swear I'll make it worse for you."

The threat hung in the air, and it immediately made you stop your movements. Jungkook pushed you down to the forest floor, the wet soil coated your white dress, and this time the scratches stung even more.

"I was going to take you back, but look how far you made it. Almost made it out of here." A smirk formed on his lips as he took out the sleeping pill container.

"How does three sound?"

His words were a blur to your ears as you stared into the far distance. The light was still glowing brightly and soon a car drove by. You sobbed and your nails dug into the ground. Just a bit more time and you would've been free.

You felt the back of your head yanked up, and Jungkook's hand tugged your hair as you glared at him with furious eyes.

Jungkook whistled, smiling as he popped open the container.

"Don't look at me like that, you should have left the moment I started to count."

Your eyes fell to the water bottle next to him and that's when it hit you. Jungkook giggled at your reaction as he unscrewed the lid on the bottle.

"Came prepared because I knew my girl would get lost in these woods pretty fast, and far."

One hand gripped your jaw, and Jungkook pushed the pills inside your mouth. And he gave the bottle to you.

He wanted you to do it because he knew that you knew you lost. Your hands squeezed the bottle, and you brought it to your lips before chugging a good amount to swallow the pills.

"Did you say three?"

You asked him with a hopeless look.

"I lied," he said, watching you with a gleam on his face, "and gave you two instead because I don't want to kill you."

You wanted to laugh at that, maybe you should have just taken three. The effects soon hit you, and your eyes became sluggish, and your eyes blurred with tears. You lost your grip on the floor, and Jungkook swooped you into his arms effortlessly. His face was blurred as he was taking you back to the cabin. Just before your body shut down, right before your tears escaped and your eyes closed, Jungkook murmured to himself quietly, and a mixed feeling of hope and happiness washed over him.

"You're lost again, baby."

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hazbin Boys x reader- Comfort ❤️‍🩹

This is a request from an anon- hazbin boys comforting reader with depression/mental illness. Includes Lucifer, Angel, Husk, Sir Pentious, Vox and just a dab of Alastor. Original request here + a heart felt message from yours truly 💌

TW: depression, mental illness, sickeningly sweet fluff

Notes: gn!reader, NSFW during Angel’s part 18+ plz

Lucifer 🍎

Oh my goodnessssssss, prepare to be treated like absolute royalty.

I’m talking foot rubs, back rubs, playing with your hair

Not only will he make you food, he’ll literally try to feed you and offer you sweet praises when you do eat. Eating can be a real chore sometimes…

“Good job, my love. It’s gonna be okay…okay?”

I think Luci is pretty touchy in general, but when you’re down in the dumps, he gets extra clingy and touchy

He’ll pretty much constantly have a hand on you- holding your hand, a hand on your back, a gentle rub on your shoulder

Will unfurl his wings and drag you close to him in bed, wrapping his arms and silky feathers around you as he lulls you to sleep

Like imagine a midday depression nap all tangled up with Luci, curtains drawn so the room is nice and dark, the temp is perfect, the bed is hugging you just as good as your babe next to is. Ugh. Plz, I want this. I need this.

Will try to gently coax you out of bed and try to get you out of the house. He knows it won’t be easy for you but he thinks getting you cleaned up, dressed and out doing something fun you’ll feel a bit better. You’ll at least be distracted from your sadness for a bit.

He’s so kind and nonjudgmental too. He gets it completely. He has depression too. Even the king of hell deals with mental illness, okay? Mental illness does not discriminate

He’ll offer the best advice he can muster up, using his own experiences to help you out of your funk

All in all, he’s just an absolute sweet pea. So doting, so caring.

Angel Dust 🕸️

Also has mental illness, also gets it completely.

KING OF DISTRACTIONS

Angel is a sweet boy but I don’t think he’d be too great at offering advice…

So he does his best to distract you from your feelings, doing whatever it takes to get you to smile, even just for a second.

Will ask you what you want to do first, whatever will make you happy, he’ll go along with it.

If you insist on rotting in bed, he’ll probably respectfully pull you out of bed, tell you “this ain’t good for ya, babe” and force you to go do something fun, something relaxing, something for yourself

Sorry not sorry but he’ll def offer to cheer you up by fucking you, letting you fuck him, eating you out, sucking your dick. Go ahead, take your stress out on him, he can take it ;)

Also the king of self care.

SPA DAY SPA DAY SPA DAY

Will draw you and him a bath, rub your shoulders while you sit in the warm water together, will even wash your hair for you

Forces you to wear a face mask with him lmao

“C’mon, (Y/N)! Lemme paint ya nails! You’ll look sooooo cuuuuuute~”

Expect lots of touching and kisses with him at night, especially if you’re having trouble sleeping

Rubs your back, rubs your arms, will rub gentle circles on your butt if you’ll let him, kisses your head, kisses your cheeks, kisses your nose

ALL THE KISSESSSSSS 💋💋💋

Husk 🃏

Okay listen…this guy is obvi a great listener and he’s pretty good at giving advice. Honestly, he’s probably the best person to go to.

Husk is an old soul, he’s pretty wise, has a lot of life experience, death experience, his own experience with mental illness and even addiction.

He could just listen to you talk for hours, waiting for you to pause before he replies. He’d never interrupt. He’s so patient with you 🥹

Will keep a close eye on you and any new habits you’ve seemed to pick up. He fixes his own issues with booze but he’s the type to say “do as I say, not as I do”

Won’t let you spiral into addiction like he did…it’s not an option.

I think Husk would be a good mix of “Come here, give Husker a hug. It’s alright, hun. Let’s go take a little nap, yeah?” and “Hey, I know what’ll cheer ya up!” *proceeds to show you the coolest, craziest magic tricks*

He’s a good balance of comfort and distraction

Anything he can do to help, just say the word

Will tell you funny shit he’s seen the folks around the hotel do just to see you laugh for a moment

“One time, Angel was walking right in front of the bar at like 7 in the morning and tripped over literally nothing and face planted! I had the best seat in the house. It was hilarious.”

This is my own personal headcanon, idk why but I feel like Husk can cook really well. He’d totally make you food, even bring it to you in bed if you don’t feel like getting up

Will absolutely let you play with him like a kitten, won’t even be upset about it. Play with his ears, give him pets, let his fur be your stim toy, let his purr soothe your achy heart

Sir Pentious 🐍

Plzzzz, he’s such a simp. I love this slippery, special little guy 💚

Big on cuddles! Will cuddle you all day, all night if you want. Loves the physical contact, and loves it even more when he can feel you relax a bit against him.

Will make his eggs boys do anything for you. Whatever you want, you tell them and they’ll happily oblige.

Kinda random but I think he’d be the type to try and pull silly little pranks on ppl around the hotel just to get you to laugh. He’s such a silly goose omg

He doesn’t really understand what you’re going through so he’ll just keep asking you what he can do, how he can help, what you want, what you need from him.

He doesn’t get it but he’ll do anything for you.

When you’re feeling particularly lazy and it’s extra hard to leave your bed, he’ll literally carry you around. Just lounge in his arms, darling, he’ll take you wherever you need to go. Don’t need to go anywhere? Fine, you’re gonna come along with him to do his daily tasks. Sit in his lap and just watch as he works.

Just wants to keep you close. He can’t stand the thought of you being alone when you feel like this. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, he wants you close.

Unless you insist on having some alone time or needing some space. Again, whatever you need from him, you got it.

Although, he may get a little teary eyed and pouty when he leaves you. Can’t stop thinking about you all day and probably comes and checks on you several times.

Vox 🖥️

“CANCEL MY MEETINGS, HOLD ALL MY CALLS, TELL EVERYONE IM NOT RESPONDING TO EMAILS UNTIL TOMORROW!”

Guy needs to focus on his baby right now. You are his top priority, everything else can wait. You are just too precious to put on the back burner.

Will be sure to tell Val and Velvette to leave you two alone. He doesn’t want them upsetting you any more than you already are.

This man has his assistants waiting on you hand and foot. He’s gonna stay in your bed with you, cuddled up with tons of blankets, both in your pajamas as you watch movies while ordering his staff to bring you whatever it is you desire.

Will eventually yank you out of bed bc he can’t stay still for too long but you’re coming with him. Wants to keep you company always

In public, Vox isn’t the most romantic or touchy. He’s a busy man with a huge reputation to uphold. While he would never completely ignore you and he’s no ashamed to show some PDA with you, you sort of always find yourself following in his shadow when he’s hard at work.

Once he sees how much your mental health is affecting you, he becomes much more attentive, much more protective of you.

He’ll hold your hand or keep his arm around you when out and about. Will give you a gentle kiss and a prideful smile before getting on set for a news shoot.

If you’re having a particularly hard day, everyone get out of the way! Hes taking the day off, he doesn’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks.

You are too important to him. Without you, what good would all his accomplishments be? Without you, who would he share all this with?

He needs you to stick around 🩵

Alastor🩸

I think Alastor would be absolutely clueless but he’d try his best nonetheless!

He’d also be one to try and distract you.

Wanna go to cannibal town and visit Rosie? She’ll help cheer you up! She’s a great listener with tons of good advice to give

Will reluctantly invite you into his room and lead you to the half of it that looks like a swamp/forest. He will take off his coat and sit in the grass with you, staying silent but watching you look around in awe.

He’s got lots of cool powers and will summon or manifest little things here that he thinks will bring a smile to your face.

Summons little lightning bugs to carefully dance around your face, holds back from slaughtering a deer that’s approaching just so you can admire it from afar, will watch with a genuine smile as you lay back in the grass and relax to the sound of crickets chirping and light jazz music.

If you asked…he might give you a hug. Might.

Also sends his shadow to check up on you every so often but if you notice this, he will deny it with all his might.

[puripurin]

— "Mama! Mama!Look! Look at this!!" The twins squealed as they dragged you from stall to stall. All of them contained a variety of exotic fruties, vegetables, and meats only native to the planet. Though it was at the back of your mind as you were out of the palace without permission.

"Shhh, Phi, Mero! What if we get caught!" The only reason why you had even snuck out of the place was because they said they weren't allowed to step foot out of the place. Although you knew you were 100% going to be punished, it was worth it for the twins to experience going to the market.

"Mamaaa- lookkkk!!! It's a- a um... Phi, do you know what kind aminilal it is??" Mero struggled with remembering the animal was called, so he asked his sister. You looked over at the animal he was referring to, and it was around powdery white fox-like animal with 2 pairs of blue eyes and two large horns.

"Meroooo, it's pronounced animallll!! It's the Strisam Snow Fudan. It's from the country from that bad woman who made Papa all sick and dizzy and tried to sleep in the same bed with him! Only Mama and us can sleep with Papa!" Phi huffed and glared at the fox-like creature who ignored her. Your mouth was slightly opened as you looked in confusion at the pouting child. Maybe it was best if you hadn't taken the job offer and stayed home because judging by what Phi said, that woman is probably planning your execution.

"Oh! Thank you, Phi. Mamaaa, I want something to munch onnn!!" Mero tugged on you as Phi glared at the animal who didn't give one shit. You sighed as people stared at you weirdly.

"Phi, Mero, can you calm down a bit? Mero, I will get food just now if you can relax a little and Phi, just because it came from a place that a woman you didn't like came from, doesn't mean the "fudan" did anything wrong, okay? Now, let's find something that you guys want to eat." You sighed and rubbed their heads. Even if they were royalty, they were still children.

As you roamed different parts of the city, you could notice someone was watching, but it was only a few times, so you didn't really bother figuring out who it was. And soon it reached evening and you all quietly talked about the mini adventure you all had. Though it was cut quickly by a person.

"Oh? What's a lady like you roaming around here with two adorable children?" The man chuckled, but his voice seemed altered, and he wore layers of black clothes. You pushed the children to an empty alleyway as you positioned yourself to fight

"It's none of your business." You quickly took off your coat as well so you can have fewer weaknesses. The man chuckled, and you felt his eyes looking you up and down.

"A human... On top of that, you're sexy with that gorgeous body." You glared at him as you went and made your first move by trying to give him a swift blow to the jaw, but he blocked it with his hand before gripping it and tossing you to the ground. An alien's fighting prowess was no joke, but you could feel as if he was going easy on you.

"Ugh! I'm a married person! I'm married to your weird ass king!" You growled as you slapped his hand away before moving to punch him in the face, and he dodged it again. Once more, he let a chuclked after a moment's pause.

"... Say that again." Your eyes slightly widen at his reaction before going back to be focused.

"Yeah. You heard that I'm married to your king—" You were thrown off your feet as he pressed down your two hands onto the floor. You erratically moved around, hoping he will relase you.

"Ah, my sweet, sweet spouse. You're already admitting that you're married to me." The mysterious mam pulled off his cloak, revealing himself to by Zypher. Your face felt extremely hot and looked away to the alleyway only to see them cheering on their father.

"So... How was my acting, my love? Though I'm sorry for hurting you, I know humans are delicate creatures, so I tried my best to reduce my strength." He started to caress you hair as you glared at him.

"You just wanted to be a pervert!" You huffed and shifted to look away from him. He laughed before moving his leg in between your thighs and pressing it on your crotch. You blushed as you tried moving away but only grinded on him.

"Pervert... A pervert you're call me? Ha! So I can't sexualize my own spouse? Ah, alas, we must leave now. The night is just upon us, and the children need to get ready." He gets up and lifts you up by your waist to press you against his warm body.

"Papaa!! Hiiii" Mero and Phi screeched as they slammed into their father legs. He bent down to pick them up and place them comfortably in his arms.

"Ah, how's my lovely children? Was your trip to the marketplace pleasant?" Almost instantly, they started to babble about everything that happened and what they saw and did. You smiled softly at the sight, but perked up in realization.

"Ah, so I won't get punished for taking the children out?" You asked happily. Zephyr glanced at you once before adjusting the children away from you before whispering.

"Yes." And had an innocent smile on his face whilst saying that. Then, he moved back to his original position.

"Firstly, you took the children out of the place without permission. Do you not know how dangerous that was for them? Two, you... you didn't invite me to come." You pursed your lips as you looked down. You heard him sigh in disappointment.

"Though, it's only been a month since we've gotten married, so I don't expect you to be comfortable that quickly with me." He shook his head before stopping in front of you and staring into your eyes. He walked closer and leaned down to kiss you.

"Love you." He said gently, and his children giggled and looked at your shocked face.

"Also, your punishment will happen promptly once we've reached the place." You froze as you looked up at him, only to see a happy smile on his face. Yeah, no, you could already feel the pain that your body was going through, the whips and hits you would face made you shudder.

"Not what you were expecting, my love?" He said as he slammed his lengthy cock right into you at fast speeds, making you crumble in pain and pleasure at his movements. He made sure that all of the lovebite he created was painful and bleeding.

"Alas... you really do have a sexy body, only made for me... Mhh, for going out of place without permission, I'll, ahh, up the number of guards you have... Fuck, you're wrapping around my cock very nice for me, and only for me..." Then Zephyr leaned in to bite your shoulder as you came again for the 4th time.

Tags: @emptybrain01

Anyways yall must have missed me poasting. I'm soz, the wifi was shit and im practicing for a presentation in front of people that i dont know. *quakes in horror*.

Alas, i cant do anything about it. *playes the worlsed smallest violin.*

Noot pifftred

Edit: i forgor tags again for the 3rd time

[mikkomacko]

I need some more of reader and John moments bc🤭 loving for it

If you asked Nico a year ago what he'd be doing today, he sure as hell wouldn't have said this. Thinking back on it, he can't even begin to imagine what that poor sap of his former self would even say.

'Driving the girl I'm sleeping with but also care about six hours all the way to Pittsburgh to pick up John fucking Marino who she just so happened to fucking love.'

Yeah right, he thinks bitterly.

Your foot nudges his elbow, sock clad toes pressing right into the soft spot of his funny bone. Nico takes one hand off the steering wheel, grabbing at your toes and pinching just hard enough to make you jolt. Giggling, you spring away from his hands, feet falling from the center console and he feels that tiny moment of bitterness fade away.

Especially when you pop your head into the front seat, cheek pressing into his bicep.

"You're supposed to be buckled." Nico scolds lightheartedly, an endeared smile rising on his lips when you nuzzle into the soft skin on the underside of his arm.

"I wanted to say hi."

He scoffs. "You should've sat up here then."

Nico can feel the pout that droops across your face. "I wanted to sit with Johnny."

"Decisions, decisions." He hums, "I wouldn't have fallen asleep on you like he did."

Your hands reach forward, locking around the arm he's got outstretched towards the steering wheel. "You can't, you're our driver."

"Ouch, from boyfriend to driver all because he got here?"

Giggling, you tug on his arm until it falls to rest on the center consol. Instinctively he offers you his hand, and you thread your fingers through his. "My boyfriend, our driver."

His stomach swoops pleasantly, butterflies fluttering around the empty crevices of his gut and ribs. Boyfriend, he'll never get tired of hearing that. A flattered smile dimples his cheeks, unable to form words he just hums.

"Can I come sit up there?"

"Not while the car is driving."

You make a noise of complaint. "Can we stop for food?"

"When I see somewhere to eat, yeah."

You point out the front windshield at the next exit. "McDonald's."

Nico makes a face. "Not good for you."

"If you feed Johnny bad food it'll make even him more tired and lazy."

Damn you and your sneaky ways. Nico puts on his blinker, moving lanes to exit the highway. "And shorten his lifespan, hopefully." He says under his breath, flinching when you bite into his arm in retaliation. "Ow, what was that for?"

"Because I love you."

Nico shakes his head, taking the exit ramp and suddenly you're slipping away into the backseat. He hears you shuffling, comes to a stop at the light and almost instantly you're squirming over the console.

"Oh my god we're five seconds away from the restaurant!" He complains, outraged that you still wormed your way up here after he said no.

"The car isn't driving." You smile, blowing your hair out of your face and settling into the seat. Nico shoots you an unimpressed look and you buckle up as he pulls into the almost empty parking lot. "What am I supposed to get him?"

"I don't know. I guess we wake him up."

Nico stretches his arm across your body, holding you steady as he slams on the brakes. The rolling car halts, tiring screeching and you flop into his arm. Johnny however crashes into the back of Nico's seat, yelping as he scrambles to get his bearings.

"Nico!" You gasp, and he cackles. The car rolls forward into the drive-thru lane and you unbuckle to turn to Johnny. "Are you ok?"

A curly head of hair pops into the front seat, Johnny's narrowed gaze locking on Nico. "Fine," he spits, and you comfortingly run your fingers through his hair. Nico ignores the way it makes his own scalp ache, wanting to feel you play with his hair too.

"What do you want to eat?" He asks, casually. Which was the wrong move because now Johnny’s debating with you about a burger or spicy chicken sandwich, but also nuggets sound good, and did you see the happy meal toy?

"Oh my god pick something!" Nico exclaims, and you both fall silent. A heavy tension sits in the air and he's tempted to roll down his window to air it out but doesn't want to risk the workers hearing him yell at you two like children.

So he just glares at Johnny, who is looking from you to Nico, and you're watching both of them with wide innocent eyes. Always so sweet looking, like you did nothing wrong. Like you didn't trick Nico into this whole stupid road trip when Johnny is capable of driving himself.

Still eyeing him, Johnny mutters out of the side of his mouth to you. "The driver is grumpy."

Nico swears he can feel his eye twitch, feel a stroke building in his brain and he's two seconds away from just driving off. "He's a much better boyfriend," you whisper, as if he can't hear you. Nico's unamused gaze moves to you, and you blink at him with big doe eyes.

"I want a double cheeseburger please, with a tea."

Nico sighs. "Ok, and you?"

Johnny forces a polite smile. "Number 3 with a coke please."

Huffing, Nico shifts to roll down his window just as he gets to the speaker and menu. "And a better driver, sheesh."

"Oh for fucks sake!"

"Cara, don't let him throw me out of the car!" Johnny pleads, hiding in the back seat again. You shrug him off, leaning into Nico's shoulder again and laying a hand on his thigh.

"Please let me keep him?" You pout, and Nico obviously can't say no so he just goes back to ordering.

Maybe on the highway he can throw him out of the car, Nico thinks but deep down he knows he can't. That's your Johnny in the backseat and as long as you want him around, Nico will make sure he's there.

Even if it makes him want to rip his hair out.

[purinbunnii]

Down Bad and Broke

Toji Fushiguro x fem!Reader

⸻

You should’ve kicked him out weeks ago.

He sleeps shirtless on your couch, scratches his happy trail when he yawns in the mornings, and doesn’t pay a single goddamn bill. And still—still—he’s too fucking pretty to say no to. Muscles for days, that cocky grin, and the way he eats your food like he owns the place.

“Don’t look at me like that, princess,” he mutters as he sprawls in your kitchen chair, legs wide open, sweat clinging to his abs. He just got back from a run, shirt tucked into his waistband, glistening. You’re in a tank top and loose shorts, trying not to stare. Trying not to clench.

“You should be working,” you reply, opening the fridge. “Or, I don’t know. Contributing something to this house other than testosterone and dirty socks.”

His grin widens, cocky. Dangerous.

“I contribute plenty,” Toji says, voice low and smooth as whiskey. “You just don’t take it yet.”

Heat flickers at your core. You shut the fridge too hard. “You’re such a dick.”

“Not denying it.” He scratches his abs, fingers dipping too low. “Want me to remind you how big?”

You run. Not because you’re scared—no. You’re too wet, too fast, and you’re not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you fall apart from just a few words.

“Where you goin’, baby girl?” he calls after you.

Your thighs clench as you lock the bathroom door.

⸻

Later that night, you wake up sweating.

It’s that time again. You don’t have a curse-born heat, not technically, but your body doesn’t care. Every few months, it claws through you, makes you squirm in bed, makes you desperate.

And of course—of course—Toji’s room is right next to yours. Thin walls. Heavy breathing.

You try to ignore it. You really do. But you can hear him shifting in bed. Groaning. The slow, slick sound of his fist working his cock. You imagine him spread out under the covers, feral and needy, breathing hard while he mutters pet names under his breath.

“Fuck, baby… mmm, princess, yeah…”

You choke on your own breath.

That’s when you realize—he’s saying your name.

You slide a hand under the waistband of your shorts. You’re soaking. Aching. Your thighs tremble.

“Fucking knew you were a tease,” he growls through the wall. “Running from it. But you want it. Wanna get split open, don’t you?”

Your breath hitches. Did he hear you?

He knocks once. Not on the front door. On your bedroom wall.

“I’ll fuck it into you, sexy. Real slow. Make it fit. You’ll beg for it.”

You don’t sleep that night. You don’t touch yourself. Not with him moaning like that on the other side. You can’t. Not when you know—next time—you won’t run.

————

You don’t know how it starts.

One minute you’re tossing in your sheets, writhing with heat pooling low in your belly, the next—he’s standing at the foot of your bed. Shirtless. Sweaty. Dark hair messy from sleep. His pupils blown wide, jaw tense, chest rising hard and fast.

“I could smell you,” Toji says, low and hungry. “Don’t play dumb. You’re fuckin’ leaking through those panties.”

You’re already halfway under your blanket, thighs squeezed tight together like that might help.

“Get out, Toji—”

“You been whining all night. Cryin’ like you’re in heat. S’that what this is?” He stalks closer, slow. Dangerous. “You need cock that bad, baby?”

You open your mouth to yell, to lie, to say no—but the way he looks at you… like he’s starving? It snaps something in you.

“Fuck,” you whisper, and it’s over.

He’s on you in seconds. Hot mouth against your throat. Hands ripping off your sleep shirt. You arch up into him, chest pressed to his, as he yanks the covers off and spreads your legs wide.

“Jesus, you’re soaked,” he growls. “You ran from me yesterday, and now you’re fuckin’ dripping for it?”

You slap at his chest, weakly. “I hate you.”

“Bullshit,” he laughs, mouth trailing down your body. “You love this cock. Your pussy’s cryin’ for it.”

And when he pulls your panties aside and sees how wet you are, sees how you squirt just from him spitting on your folds and rubbing his thumb against your clit? His restraint breaks.

⸻

Your body jerks with every press of his tongue. He’s got you open on the bed, legs trembling, tongue buried in your cunt like it’s the only meal he’s ever had.

“Don’t run from me now, sexy,” he growls, yanking you back when you try to squirm away. “You’re the one that woke me up moanin’. Gonna take what you fuckin’ started.”

He flattens his tongue, sucks on your clit, and your back arches as a gush of slick spills out of you.

“Ohh—fuck—Toji—!”

“That’s right, baby girl. Give it to me.”

He’s pussy drunk. Whimpering into you. Humping the bed. Fingertips digging into your hips so hard he’ll leave bruises.

“You squirt so easy,” he murmurs. “Gonna have to fuck you full just to shut you up.”

⸻

When he finally shoves his cock in—slow, thick, unforgiving—you scream.

He’s huge. Not just big. Not normal. Your pussy clenches hard, fighting to take it all.

“S’too big—Toji—!”

“You’ll fuckin’ take it,” he snarls, breathing hard. “I’m gonna make it fit.”

He doesn’t stop. Not when you tremble, not when your thighs shake, not even when tears pool in your eyes.

Toji loves it.

“Look at that,” he pants, voice ragged. “Stretchin’ so good. You love this cock, don’t you, baby girl?”

You sob something between yes and fuck and oh god. He slams into you harder, presses your knees back to your chest, and folds you into a mating press.

“Gonna breed this pussy. Fuckin’ ruin it.”

He’s relentless. Filthy. Growling into your ear, whispering shit you shouldn’t let anyone say to you—

“Gonna knock you up. Fill you so deep you leak for days. Look at that messy fuckin’ pussy. Shit.”

And then he grabs the toy from your nightstand—the one you used when he wasn’t home.

“Oh? This what you use when I’m gone?” He smirks and pushes it into your ass. “Let’s fill both holes then. Gotta stuff my princess real good.”

You claw at his back, moaning, overstimmed and sobbing.

“Toji—fuck—I can’t—!”

“You can. You will.” He starts fucking into you harder, toy stuffed in your ass, cock stretching your pussy wide. “Gonna squirt all over me again, huh? So fuckin’ good for me. You’re mine.”

He doesn’t pull out.

Not once. Not when you scream, not when you cry, not when you come so hard your body seizes up.

He groans, hips jerking. Thick cum spills deep inside you, and still he doesn’t stop.

“I told you,” he pants, voice heavy, shaking from release. “Weak pull out game, baby. You’ll learn to take it.”

[squidsquidsquidsquidsquidgame]

Quiet Morning Together

character: Kang Dae-Ho X fem!reader

Summary: You and Dae-Ho enjoy a peaceful, quiet morning together in bed. No rush, no obligations—just the two of you.

Warnings: none🦑🦑

The world outside was slowly waking, but inside your bedroom, time moved at its own pace. The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting soft golden streaks over the bed where you and Dae-Ho lay, wrapped in warmth and the kind of comfort that only came from being beside someone you loved.

He was still half-asleep, one arm draped lazily over your waist, his breaths steady and deep. You traced absentminded patterns on his skin, enjoying the rise and fall of his chest. Eventually, his eyes fluttered open, hazy with sleep. "Morning," he murmured, his voice rough and low.

"Morning," you whispered back, smiling as he stretched, his arm tightening around you for just a second before he let out a content sigh.

"Stay here," he said, his lips brushing against your forehead before he slid out of bed. You curled up in the warm space he left behind, watching as he ran a hand through his messy hair and padded toward the kitchen. The sounds of quiet clinking and soft movements filled the air as he worked. You could hear the faint sizzle of eggs on the pan, the rhythmic tapping of a knife against the cutting board.

The smell of toast and coffee drifted into the bedroom, making you smile.

Before long, Dae-Ho reappeared, carrying a tray with breakfast—simple but thoughtful. Eggs, toast, a few slices of fruit, and coffee made just the way you liked it. He set it down carefully beside you before climbing back into bed, his knee bumping against yours as he got comfortable.

"You really didn't have to," you said, though you couldn't hide your appreciation.

"I wanted to," he said simply, handing you a fork. "You deserve a good morning."

For a while, there were no words, just the soft sounds of eating and the occasional clink of ceramic. Then, the conversation started—light, meandering, like the morning itself. "Did you know," Dae-Ho said between bites, "that in some places, people believe eating fruit first thing in the morning gives you more energy for the day?"

You raised a brow, popping a piece of strawberry into your mouth. "Sounds like something you just made up."

He chuckled, nudging your foot under the blanket. "Maybe. But if it's true, you should eat all of yours." "And if it's not true?"

"Then at least I get to see you enjoying breakfast in bed."

You shook your head, laughing softly. It was moments like these—simple, unhurried, filled with quiet affection—that made you fall for him all over again.

Eventually, the food was gone, the coffee cups emptied, but neither of you moved to get up. Dae-Ho leaned back against the pillows, pulling you into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Let's stay like this a little longer," he murmured, his voice thick with drowsiness again.

You didn't argue. You simply nestled closer, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear. Outside, the world kept turning. But here, in the warmth of his embrace, time could wait.

🦑🦑🦑

[aritsukemo]

“If you ever need me, call my name. I will be there.”

That was Xiao’s promise. You weren’t the only person he’d offered it to, far from the first or last, but you were the only one who had it whispered against their lips, in between stolen kisses that lingered on your skin long after he’d vanished into the moonlight.

“Always. For whatever reason.”

You hadn’t had much need for it prior, beyond the occasional sticky situation or sudden bout of loneliness, but the reassurance was always there. One word was all it took, and he would be at your side. Always with a spear in his hands, and a serious expression, scanning you up and down to check for injuries. Only when he was satisfied you were in one piece, unharmed, he’d speak.

“What do you need?” He asks, putting down his weapon once he realized there was nothing to vanquish. With his free hand, he grasps your chin, turning your face to the left, then to the right. “You aren’t hurt. There aren’t any demons around, yet you called me anyway. Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” You blink, nudging something with your foot. He looks down, frowning at the sight of… a picnic blanket. There were pastries, and fresh fruit, and a box of almond tofu laid out across the ground. When he looks up again, you’re grinning. “I thought you could use a break.”

“A… break?” He says slowly, tasting the words like they were unfamiliar. You roll your eyes, giving his hand a gentle tug and pulling him down to a sitting position.

“Yes, a break. You’ve been working non-stop. This is long overdue.”

Xiao continues to stare at the lavish spread of food, not saying a word. The picnic is carefully arranged, each item selected to match his tastes perfectly. Even the location—a quiet, shady spot underneath the shelter of a tree—was thoughtfully chosen; not too far from Liyue Harbour, but far enough that there was no one around to disturb them. You’d thought through everything, that was obvious enough.

“You…” He swallows, the words caught up in his throat. There’s a dull ache in his chest, but somehow, the feeling isn’t unpleasant. “Thank you. Truly.”

You smile at him, offering him the box of tofu. “No problem. Eat up.”

The pair of you eat in silence, interspersed with the occasional observation about the weather, or your day, or what Xiao has been doing during his absence. It’s quiet, it’s mellow; nothing like what he was faced with before you called on him. He spares you the details, keeping it to a simple “I was purging evil, as usual.” He knows to omit the most brutal parts of his life, keeping them held close to his chest, so as to not worry you even more than you do.

“You look tired.” You hum. “Do you want to take a nap?”

Your suggestion is met with protest of course, but he never could resist your whims for long. Somehow, despite his objections, he finds himself with his head laid in your lap anyway, the tree branches above casting shade over his face, and you smiling down at him.

Xiao can’t even bring himself to feel displeased with the situation. Your hands in his hair is heavenly, a soft, comforting feeling that has his eyes sliding shut, and all of the tension in his shoulders melting away. He doesn’t know how you manage it, unravelling him with the slightest touch, but he voices no complaints. Any reservations or doubts are swept away as your nails gently rake across his scalp, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Sleep,” You murmur, kissing his forehead. It’s an odd reversal of your positions; typically, he is the one standing guard as you slumber, but he strangely doesn’t mind as much as he typically would. Perhaps it is because it is you that is caring for him, treating him so tenderly like he’s something worth cherishing. You, who remains the only one he will let see his guard fall completely, the one who has seen his shadows, and his regrets, and loved him through all.

When he wakes, he will return to his role as guardian, but as he sleeps, he is content to have you watching over him.

- 🕸️

OMGOSH I AM SOOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REAPOND TO THIS!!! I SWEAR I HAD A GOOD REASON!! 😓

THIS WAS SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO GOOD!! YOUR WRITING STYLE IS AMAZING!!!

I've always adored the fact that Xiao is willing to drop everything if we called his name like that always made me feel so loved 🥹 AND FOR READER TO USE THAT IN ORDER TO GET HIM TO RELAX??? UGH I ADORE IT SM

The domesticity in this drabble is top notch like I love how comfortable they are with each other and just imagining it makes me kick my feet!! 😖

Whomever you are 🕸 anon, you're an amazing writer and I promise to pay you back for this gift 💞 TYSM THIS MADE MY WHOLE MONTH!!

[httpdwaekki]

sick days | l.f.

summmary: felix is feeling under the weather but luckily his angel is there to help him feel better.

wc: 2k

warnings: i know channie n lix don't live in the same dorm but for the sake of this story they do <3. descriptions of the flu and food, too many pet names, use of y/n. not proofread, lowercase intended.

a/n: okayyy, this is a request i was given a lil while ago (i'm so sorry this took so long) also wrote this in like 4 hours until three am so if the ending is weird that’s why but i’ll proofread it tomorrow. with that being said, i hope u enjoy, remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3

my library

(pictures not mine! credit to owners!)

you knew something was off, you couldn’t put your finger on it but you had a gut feeling. you had asked felix if everything was okay and he reassured you everything was fine. that was until a few days later he texted you letting you know he was feeling sick.

you had already called into work, letting them know you weren’t going to be in the office for a few days but you’ll do some work on your computer. you texted him once more, asking him what he needs but you didn’t receive a response.

assuming he’s probably resting you give his older counterpart a call. there was about three rings before he picks up, “hello?” an aussie voice fills your ears. “hi channie.” you smile. “y/n! hi, what can i do for you?” he asks.

“felix told me he wasn’t feeling well so i tried to text him to ask if he needed anything but he didn’t respond so i’m assuming he’s asleep. but i was calling so ask if you knew if he needed anything or if you guys need anything at the dorms.” you explain, placing him on speaker opening your notes app.

“oh! well i know lino’s making him some stew but i’m sure he could use some medicine and maybe some tea and something for electrolytes.” he lists off. “okay i can do that, do you guys need anything for the dorm?” you ask, typing out your list.

“no i think we’re good, thank you y/n, i appreciate it.” he smiles. “no problem channie, i’ll be there in a bit.” taking the phone off speaker, placing it back to your ear. “sounds good, drive safe.” you say your goodbyes, hanging up the phone.

you quickly put on your jacket, pulling your backpack on, then your work bag and grabbing your keys, walking out the door. you had packed a bag, planning on spending a few days at the dorms taking care of felix.

you quickly make your way to your car after locking your door. you grab everything felix may need from the store, making your way to the dorms. the drive to the dorms was quick, pulling into the driveway, grabbing all of your bags. you use your hip to close your car door as your hands are full, before walking up to the dorm.

you use your foot to tap the door, hoping someone inside hears. the door opens revealing a hoodie clad chan, giving you his signature smile, “hey, y/n.” he greets you before grabbing the bags. “ hi.” you smile back, quickly turning back, locking your car before following him inside.

you make your way into the kitchen, finding lino finishing up his kimchi-jjigae while chan places the bags on the counter. “hi lino.” you smile, giving him a small wave. “hi y/n, here to take care of yongbokkie?” he asks, stirring the steaming stew. you nod, “i’ll be right back, i’m gonna go put my stuff down and check on him.

you make your way down the hall, before reaching his closed door. you gently knock on the door, just incase he was still sleeping. “come in” you hear the familiar aussie voice, his voice impossibly deeper. you open the door, finding the usually sunny boy, looking pale and dreary.

“hi bubba, how are you feeling?” you ask, quickly putting down your bags next to the door before making your way to the bed. you sit down on the bed, brushing his hair out of his face. he clears his throat, “i’m okay.’ his voice hoarse.

your hand resting on his warm cheek, thumb brushing soothing circles on his cheek. “what’s going on jagi?” you ask. “channie hyung thinks it’s a cold or flu, i have a fever, congested, i keep coughing and sneezing and my head feels like it’s a balloon.” he explains, before he turns his head away from you, letting out a sneeze.

you hand him a tissue from the box sitting on his bedside table. “bless you bubba.” he blows his nose, placing the tissue in the bag next to him. “thank you, angel.” he gives you a small smile. you look at the table, finding an empty water bottle, tissues, and some crackers.

“have you taken some medicine?” you ask, running your hand through his hair. “lino hyung gave me some aspirin for my fever but we didn’t have any cold medicine.” he sniffles, closing his eyes, nuzzling his head against your hand slightly.

“okay bub, i picked you up some, so i’m gonna go grab you some medicine and i think minho is done with the stew so i’m gonna grab you a bowl too, alright?” you ask, hand still running through his hair. “mhm, thank you.” he mumbles. 

you leaned over placing a soft kiss to his warm forehead before pulling his blanket over him. you get up, grabbing the empty water bottle and crackers before making your way out of the room. you softly close the door behind you, walking back to the kitchen.

you place the crackers on the counter before filling up his blue bottle with ice and water. you start to put everything away, keeping the medicine and gatorade in a bag before pulling away the crackers. “here you go.” lino says, placing a bowl of the hot stew, with a spoon and some napkins next to you.

“ thank you minho.” you smile, placing the water bottle in the bag as well. “of course, there’s extra on the stove if you want some.” he says pointing towards the pot on the stove

. your heart warms at the older boy's gesture. “oh, thank you, you didn't have to.”

he waves you off “it’s the least i could do for you helping yongbokkie.” he smiles before making his way to the living room to join chan on the couch. you smile to yourself before collecting your materials, making your way back to your sick boy.

you carefully make your way down the hallway, knocking on the door once more, signaling your arrival. you carefully open the door, finding felix fast asleep, soft snores leaving his mouth. you quietly make your way into the room, closing the door once again.

you make your way to the side of his bed, placing the stew on the bedside table, sitting next to him once again. you place a gentle hand on his cheek, softly rubbing, waking him up. “hi angel,” you smile down at him. “you can go back to sleep in a bit but i got soup, medicine and water.” he nods understanding as he stretches a bit.

“sit up for me a bit.” he leans forward, coughing a bit. you rub his back, before you place pillows behind him to prop him up. “okay, lay back down baby.” he lays back, clearing his throat a bit. “comfortable?” he nods, giving you a small smile.

“good.” you smile, placing a kiss to his forehead before grabbing the still warm stew. you stir it slightly before taking a spoonful, blowing on the steaming liquid, bringing the spoon and bowl to felix. he opens his mouth, taking in the warm liquid, you pull the spoon back.

“good?” you ask, gathering another serving for him. he swallows the delicious food. “very good angel, thank you.” you smile, bringing the spoon back to him. “don’t thank me, thank minho.” you take the spoon again, repeating the process.

“no seriously, you dropped everything to come take care of me. i really appreciate that baby.” he smiles, placing an hand on your thigh. you place the spoon back in the bowl, leaning over, careful of the bowl of soup. you place a kiss to his cheek, “i’m your partner, it’s literally my job, you don’t have to thank me lix.” his cheeks redden slightly, small smile spreading across his lips.

you grab the spoon, repeating the same process until the stew is all gone. you hand him the napkin, watching him wipe his face before holding out the bowl for him to place the dirty material in. you set the bowl down before grabbing the gatorade and medicine. you place the medicine in his hand before opening the gatorade bottle.

he places the pills in his mouth before grabbing the cold bottle you held out to him. he takes down a few gulps of the cold liquid, before he struggles to breathe thanks to his congestion. “bubba, slow down,” you place your hand on his thigh as he finally pulls away. “breathe please, it’s not going anywhere.” you rub his thigh lightly.

“sorry.” he coughs slightly, causing you to take the bottle, before rubbing his back. “okay bubba, let it out.” the coughs slowly die down, his breathing becoming heavy as he tries to catch his breath. “okay, let’s lay you back down baby.” he nods, you put the cap back on, placing it back on the table.

you move a few of pillows, allowing him to lay back down. he scoots a little closer to you before laying down fully. “comfy?” he nods smiling, eyes closing slightly. “i’ll be back, i’m just gonna bring the dishes back into the kitchen, okay?” you ask, moving his two drinks to the edge of the table for him to have easy access. “okay, you’ll come back and cuddle right?” he asks, his boba eyes staring into yours, pleading you. you giggle, nodding, “yes, bub, i’ll come back and cuddle.” he smiles, happy with your answer before he nuzzles back into the soft mattress.

you give his arm a squeeze before getting up and grabbing the bowl, making your way back to the hallway. as you step out you run into jeongin. “oh!” slightly startled. “hi innie.” you smile. “hi noona, how is felix hyung?” he asks, pointing to the door. “he’s okay, he just ate and took medicine so he’s gonna sleep for a bit.” small smile still present on your lips.

“good, thank you for taking care of him.” you nod your head, “of course, i’d do anything for him.” your cheeks warming slightly. he smiles, “he’d do the same for you, you know.” you nod, cheeks becoming impossibly warmer. “i know, thank you innie.” he smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder before making his way to his room.

you make it back to the kitchen, quickly washing the bowl. “how’s lix doing?” an aussie voice behind you asks. you turn around, “he’s okay, he ate and i gave him some medicine so he’s gonna try to sleep now.” he nods, “thank you for taking care of him, we really appreciate it.”  you nod, smiling at the older man. “anytime channie, i’d do anything for him.”

he gives you a side hug, “we know.” he pulls away, making his way back to minho on the couch. you walk back to felix’s room for the final time, lightly knocking on the door. you enter, felix lifting his head, before settling back into his cocoon.

“y’know you don’t have to knock everytime, right?” he mumbles, face smooshed into his pillow. “i know but it’s your space, i don’t want to invade it.” you say, making your way to the other side of the bed. you get under the blankets, opening your arms to him. “you could never invade my space jagi, what’s mine is yours.”

he moves, melting into you, placing a kiss on top of your heart. “you realize you’re definitely getting sick right?” he asks, words slurred with sleep. you giggle, “yes lix i know,” you pause looking down at him, “but it’s worth it.” you lean down, placing a kiss to his sift hair.

“please make sure you take some vitamins.” he says, clearly fighting sleep. “i will angel, now go to sleep, you need rest,” you run fingers through his hair with one hand, rubbing his arm with the other. “mhm kay, lub you angel.” you smile, holding him close to you. “i love you too, lix.” placing one last kiss on his hair before he drifts off.

needless to say you definitely got sick a few days later, which resulted in a scolding from the sunshine boy himself. but he nursed you back to health, make sure you both were taking your vitamins to avoid getting sick again.

do not repost

[thepenandthepistol]

hihi something cutesy and cliché with grian please 🤗🤗

love ur writing!!

Try Again Tomorrow (Grian x reader)

An early morning leaves you with some reflecting to do about who you were before Grian and who you are now.

A/N: I. LOVE. HIM. Anon, I'm so sorry I know you said cliche and fluff but I couldn't help myself and sprinkled some angst in there, nothing we can't fix by the end though. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your kindness! It's spurred me on more than you can know. (1020 words)

Art by @/bc-jpeg and dividers by @/cafekitsune

This morning was not unlike many others. It was soft and windy. The curtains swam in the breeze of an already scorching sun, light shifting under the fabric’s billowing. The rays dash over the features of your beloved, he glows amidst the messy room. You’ve seen this a thousand times and with each fresh memory, it only gets better.

Grian’s nose scrunches as he stirs awake, body heavy with sleep. His arm is still draped over your waist, your hand traces the base of his wings, languid motions making his eyes flutter shut for a moment too long. You swear he’s gone back to sleep until his own hands pull you closer. His head of sandy hair rests on your shoulder as he curls into your embrace. His wings unfurl, blocking out the sun and sight of the clothes from last night, pants disregarded atop a chair, shoes still at the foot of the bed. 

Booze and dancing, a party where you know everyone. Your feet have never ached more and aching has never felt this good. Every song revealed a part of your soul, fragments shining under a disco ball with every move and step. You are surrounded by friends, but your eyes land back on him. Grian stands at the edge of the floor with two drinks in hand. He looks eager to join but, despite his craned neck, can’t seem to find a counter to place the cups down. Catching your glance, he smiles, handing Joel and Lizzie their drinks, and then springing towards you. He weaves through the thinning crowd until he can reach your hand. He pulls you closer, taking only a step back, and holds your jaw with his other hand. You hold on to the lapels of his dress shirt, straightening his loose tie. His thrilled smile eases into a fond grin and he presses a kiss to your lips. 

Now, he’s much less energetic. To think if it weren’t for him, you might’ve already been up and working. The days before him were mundane as well, but different. You might’ve not gone to that party, stayed in and slept late, staring at a ceiling and counting the blemishes. You trace the uneven skin on Grian’s shoulder, counting the occasional raised patches.

“Love, you need to get some summer clothes.” You say, and he hums, half listening, mostly basking in the attention. “Your sweater’s making you break out again.”

“We can sort that out later.”

Later. Now, the world is your bedroom. How much work could you have gotten done before this? How many pangs of loneliness would you have fought to forget in the hours now spent with him? Your hands, nicked and leathery, tuck a strand of hair behind his ear and rest at the nape of his neck, scratching gently. 

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the window, your image in a blue expanse of cloudless sky. Your arms are thicker than they were, flaccid. Every evening you both stop what you are doing, put away the tools and materials, they’ll be there tomorrow. On even days Grian cooks dinner, he’s collected quite the recipe book and what used to be labor is now rest. With a skillet in hand, he dances around your kitchen. He pretends to drop the pan only to fake you out. He’s only actually dropped it a single time. 

Before, only with the moon high into the aether would you have stopped to eat, hurrying food into a starved mouth like shoveling coal into a furnace, mechanic and primal. In your cold kitchen, you stared at the ceramic floor. Tomorrow would be the same, again and again. You were much more productive back then.

“Do you have any plans?” Grian asks. The question is innocuous, but the gears are turning in his brain. He knows something’s pulling you down. 

“Not really,” you murmur. Longing strikes a bell in your chest. What could you have been? Successful, productive, probably painfully alone. Would that have been better than this? The first answer that comes to mind is shameful. You were a beautiful animal, a prize pony who never got the medal. How could you even hope to compete now if you were not worthy before?

Grian shifts from beside you. Thoughts run through your mind until he positions his thighs between your legs, straddling you with his weight comfortably resting on your pelvis. His eyes crinkle, but it’s bittersweet. He can’t guess what havoc is parading inside your head, but he knows that far-away gaze. He shifts forward and your fingers hold his waist. He kisses the skin under your lashes, dark hues blending back into the surroundings with each day that passes. You were chasing something, an indescribable mass that would make you good.

He kisses your jaw. His lips are so very dry, but so purposeful. He knows every inch of you, each crevice of your hollow bones, and he holds them so very dearly. You aren’t good, definitely not the best person you could be. But here he is. He sees you and he holds you.

“You have an incredible mind, a vast, vast soul.” He whispers as he finally kisses your lips. Your lungs fill with air, eyes closing and loosening the stranglehold on your heart. 

There are a thousand different ways your life could have gone, but only now do you feel glad to be here. This body has suffered for so long, searching for an excuse to heal itself back from the brink. But Grian needs no reason to love you. He takes your cheeks into his hands, a mirror of the night before, and does not let go. 

You could have accomplished so much in the time you took to realize this, but how much better would it be to do those things with him by your side? Savoring the days as they go, waking up late with only the lasting weight of your partner atop you. Arms and legs aching after dancing and not tirelessly working, giving up on grasping to be someone you never needed to be. 

[macfrog]

you'll hurt me if you don't trust me sex on fire chapter eight

super special sparkly shoutout to @chloeangelic ✨💛✨ whose influence inspired a whole load of intimacy in this. it is, unashamedly, eleven thousand words of sheer self-indulgence. so. love u guys. see u soon

pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader

summary: you’re unwell. joel makes you feel better. until he doesn’t.

warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), workplace relationship, imbalanced power dynamic, cursing, sugardaddy!joel, softsoftsoft!joel, they eat chinese food together, reader has her period + mention/description of used tampon, discussion of abandonment/absent parents & parental death, discussion of cheating, lying, thigh riding, unprotected piv period shower sex (that is a mouthful thatswhatshesaid), VERY needy reader, SLIGHT dacryphilia (kinda not really?), creampie, aftercare joel, praise kink, daddy kink, angst & fluff & angst all over again

word count: 11k

series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 💚

Martha had been pretty good about it. She’d watched you near-doubled in pain most of yesterday, hobbling to the kitchen every four hours to top up on pain meds. She knew you weren’t making it up. She made a conservative two jokes about you calling in this morning, and then told you to rest up. She’d let Joel know you’d be back tomorrow.

“You owe me, though. Joel’s got that shareholders meeting today. If I’m forced to sit in with him ‘n his cronies talkin’ numbers and takin’ notes, sweetheart, all so you can catch up on The Bachelorette…”

Alright. Three jokes.

You hang up and slide the phone back across your nightstand; roll over and stuff a pillow between your thighs as if that’ll do anything against the dull throb gnawing at your belly. Your shades are tilted upward, shrinking your bedroom into a foggy gray save for the shards of light which split across the ceiling.

There’s a heavy ache tugging behind your eyes, an irritating weight which shoves you into the arms of sleep and then pulls you back by the hair before you’re taken off by it. You’re dozing, fingertips massaging your eyelids and stretching the skin back and forth when the doorbell slices the stillness of your apartment in two, shrill in your sleep-deprived ears.

You ignore it at first. Fuck that. Fuck whoever that is. You’re not planning on leaving your cocoon today unless it’s to go pee, grab a snack, or maybe if you lose the remote in your sheets.

But it rings out again. Twice, this time. And in a blur of hormonal rage, you whip the sheets back, throw yourself out of bed and stagger down the hallway. You straighten up only enough to peer through the peephole, your palms pressed to the back of the door, and that’s when you see him.

He’s cradling a brown bag in his left arm, a second dangling from his wrist. His head is huge in comparison to his body, owing to the distorted fisheye glass. He shifts from foot to foot impatiently, awkwardly glancing down the hall. You’d recognize that jawline fucking anywhere.

Your breath pushes nervously against the door. You click the lock and curl around the heavy wood, your fingers clamping on the edge.

The two of you eye one another up and down before Joel speaks.

“Hi, darlin’.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Martha said you were sick?”

You pause. Look down to the bunch of wild flowers sat in the crook of his elbow, and then back up to his face, painted with – what is it – concern? There are lines you rarely see when he’s looking at you, carved deep between his brows.

A fire strikes in your belly.

“…I’m fine. I’m – I’m all good. Just – feeling a little…”

“What is it? Is it the flu? I brought flu stuff.” He nods into the bag, and reaches inside for a box of cold tablets and a pack of tissues. He tosses them across the threshold and you catch them, holding them close against your shoulder.

You smile, trying to hold back on a laugh, but also because what the fuck? He’s so sweet. The flames lick at the bottom of your lungs.

“It’s not…it’s not the flu, no.”

Joel nods, looking back into the bag. “Good thing I also brought these, then.”

He tilts it forward and you unhook from the door, leaning over to peer in. A box of Tampax, two bottles of painkillers, green packets of face masks and floral sachets of herbal teas. You fish one out.

“Chamomile,” you muse, pouting.

He shrugs. “Lady at the store said it’s a good muscle relaxant, I don’t know.”

“Don’t you have a meeting today?”

“Cancelled it. You freaked me out.”

Your heart knocks on your chest wall. Did you fucking hear that? You freaked him out. You gulp in response. Swallow hard to shut it the hell up.

“So, Martha’s in the office by herself?”

“She’s a big girl. Told her she could leave early if she got my to-do list done. I give it until one,” he mutters, glancing down at his watch. “Oh,” he says then, spotting the brush of green and burst of purple in his arm, “got you these. I don’t know what you like yet, but…”

Yet. Yet yet yet.

You take the posy delicately between your fingers, as if it might fall apart at the mere touch of your hand. The brown paper crinkles as it lifts from Joel’s arm, and you tilt them in the hallway’s milky light.

The sprigs shoot in wild directions, tangling and twisting around one another. Daisies, lazy in their climb, swirling around the gentle brush of lavender, wrapped tightly to some other flower you don’t recognize. They’re tied together in a neat, white lace bow.

You imagine Joel stood in the middle of some fragrant florist, rotating on the spot. Dumbfounded before some assistant in a flowing skirt and tinkling bracelets sweeps over to him. I don’t know what she likes – yet, he tells them. And your heart screams into the pillow of muscle surrounding it.

“Thank you.” The smile on your lips threatens to break into a grin. At the same time, a shot of pain rips across your belly. “Come in,” you groan through a wince, taking his shirt in your fist and pulling him inside.

Your apartment is probably a couple years too small for you. You’ve accumulated so much in the time you’ve lived here that you could do with finding a bigger place – but you’re comfortable. It feels like home, when nowhere did for so long. It’s snug, and humble, and as you lead him down your hallway, you imagine you’re feeling how Joel probably did when he showed you around his childhood home.

Your cheeks flush with something a little blunter than embarrassment, but prickled with nerves. Your living room rolls its eyes inward, every object looking over in suspicion and wonder. Who the hell is this man, in your space, armed with toiletries and a ten-grand watch on his wrist?

You pause by the sink, filling a glass with water for the flowers. Your teeth bite down on your lip. There are dishes on the counter, there’s laundry piled on stools, blankets and cushions strewn messily across your couch. Joel shakes his head when you apologize, holds a palm up when you try to explain how you’d gotten home from work last night and gone straight to bed. I haven’t had the energy to clean.

He won’t hear it. Says he’s not here to see your clean apartment. Here to see you.

He sets the bags on the worktop and looks around the room. Blinks from the sheer curtains guarding the balcony doors, to the pastel candles on your coffee table. Smiles when he notices the Pretty Woman poster framed above the couch.

“What?” you ask, when his eyes finally land back on you. You tug at the hem of your shirt, pulling it further down your bare thighs.

“Nothin’. Just – knew there was somethin’ more to you.”

You fold your arms and rock forward gently on the balls of your feet. Your head tilts. Your brows knit.

Joel clarifies, “I knew you weren’t as put together as you pretend to be at work. This – looks like your place. That’s all.”

“Oh, yeah? ‘n what does my place look like?

His cheeks lift. “Little all over the place. Little surprising. But bright. Cozy. You.”

“Bright ‘n cozy,” you echo.

He nods. Purses his lips, then adds, “And great in bed.”

You cough a laugh, reach out to shove his arm, and he catches your hand. He reels you in against his body and cups your head, fixing some flyaway strands of hair. You stare up at him, eyelashes slowly blinking him in and out of focus. His mottled beard and hazel eyes. The flecks of honeydew and amber swimming around his pupil. His shirt wrinkles beneath your chin.

“You hungry?” he asks, voice rumbling through his chest. You seem to understand the vibrations sooner than the words, these days. He reaches for the handles of the white bag, sliding it over towards you. “I brought lunch.”

“You brought lunch.” You scoff, grinning to yourself. It quickly fades, though, when your hand lowers into the bag and meets a warm, flat surface – two halves of a folded lid. Your brows pull. “You brought…”

Joel smiles as you lift the box, popping it open. Hot steam escapes the minute the lid folds back.

“Chinese okay? I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise by callin’ to ask what you wanted. I can run out and grab somethin’ else if you’re not –”

“How did you know to get…?” Your voice whittles to nothing as you stare down at the fresh-cooked meal, the bed of greasy noodles mixed with fried vegetables. Your tongue swipes at the corners of your mouth.

“’cause I know you,” Joel says, digging for a second box from the bag. “Anytime you’re stressed with work, anytime I give you a hard day, that’s what you order in for lunch, right?” He nods to the container as he tosses an egg roll into his mouth.

You giggle, lifting the box to hide your swollen cheeks. Your heartbeat hammers below your jaw.

“Right?” Joel laughs. “Chow mein? I’m right, ain’t I? You know I’m right.”

He nudges against you, taking his own lunch from the bag, and casts a familiar glance – the same one you saw a few days ago in Lavender Oaks. Like the decades-old mask slips just for a second and suddenly, a younger, shyer Joel shines through. He’s almost imperceptible, almost concealed by the cocky smirk and witty remarks of his older self, but you’ve seen him once, and now – he’s impossible to lose sight of.

“You’re weird,” you note, spinning off towards your bedroom.

Joel’s hot at your heels. “I’m weird?”

“Uhuh. For noticing that.”

He snorts, and then you feel a slap to your ass cheek. “Nice underwear, by the way. Who’d you steal them from?” he murmurs close to your ear, averting your gaze when you turn back, beaming.

You pad across the soft rug to your bed, dropping down and pulling the sheets back to make room for Joel. He’s setting his food down. You think to offer him a change of clothes – something more comfortable than a dress shirt and suit trousers – but the best you’d have is an oversized tee, and not much else.

The thought almost dizzies you. Joel, in his boxers and a t-shirt from your wardrobe. A shirt that smells like you, feels like you, belongs to you. A piece of you, hung from his shoulders like it was always meant to be shared between you. The way it’d still smell of him even after the sun had set and he’d peeled it from his body, folded it into a pile at the end of your bed and left in his button up.

He sits on the edge of your mattress to kick his shoes off, and marvels some more at the room just like he did in the kitchen. The fire in your chest is slowly turning your lungs to ash, stealing breath each time his dimples appear – squinting at the framed photographs on your dresser, tilting his head to read the titles of the books on your shelves.

When he catches sight of the paint-splattered easel in the corner, he turns back. Your eyes are already locked back on your chow mein, refusing to meet his. He doesn’t say anything. Just shuffles up against the headboard, nudges your knee with his own.

“You get that at the concert?” he asks, eyes a little south of yours.

You glance down. You’re wearing an old Queen tour tee, graphic print accompanied by 1986 in multicolored lettering. A little before your grand entrance on the planet. A little after Joel’s.

“Rod’s Retro, eastside,” you reply. “You find some cool stuff in there, Mr. CEO.”

Joel’s chin lifts, considering. “Hm,” he says, “you gonna take me someday?”

You nod. Maybe a little too eagerly. It doesn’t feel like you ought to care. “Um, yes. You would fucking love it. Half my wardrobe is thrifted.”

He nods once – banking the information. “Every day, I learn somethin’ new.”

“Shut up,” you quip, kicking him gently. “How come I never get to learn anything new about you?”

He shrugs, chewing. “Self-absorbed.”

You kick him for real this time. He laughs into his takeout box.

“I’m messing with you. You know plenty about me. You met my mom the other day, for cryin’ out loud.”

“Not enough. Don’t know where you get all your clothes from, or what your comfort food is.”

He replies through a mouthful of chop suey. “Then, ask.”

Your voice is high, defensive. “No. That’s too easy.”

Joel snorts.

You reach for the remote and click the screen opposite to life. Joel lifts his arm to let you sink against his body, and you flick through the channels. Shark Tank, Grey’s Anatomy, Wendy fucking Williams, and then –

You gasp. Joel looks up from his food. His brows arch, eyes flitting from you to the screen. You swear a groan escapes from his lips. You feel the thunder against your ear.

“You ever seen it?”

“Dirty Dancing? Yeah, I’ve seen Dirty Dancing, pretty girl.”

“You probably saw it at the movies, right? When it came out? In the eighties?”

“Careful.”

You smile. “What did you think of it?”

Joel’s shoulders lift. His eyes are back on the screen. Be My Baby is crooning from the TV. “I liked Patrick Swayze,” he says.

You watch him, waiting for him to continue. When he doesn’t, you lean closer. “You…you liked Patrick Swayze?”

“Yeah,” Joel says, like it’s obvious. He turns back to you, one eyebrow raised. “He was cool. You don’t like ‘im in it?”

“No, I like Patrick Swayze,” you tell him. “Just…if that’s all you like about it, then…we might have a problem.”

He scoffs. “I don’t remember much of it, to tell you the truth.”

“Good. We’re watching it.”

Your head moves with his chest as he sucks in a deep, defeated breath. “Baby, I –”

“Ah,” you tap the remote on his knuckles, “you remember the Baby part.”

With a laugh which sounds an awful lot like approval and a grunt which sounds an awful lot like Alright, Joel sinks lower into the mattress. You drape your legs across his, and when he finishes eating, his fingers draw round shapes on your hot skin, daring past the hem of his own boxers on your thighs.

Somewhere around the lake scene, you notice your hand intertwined with his. Locked together, surfing over one another, squeezing and then loosening. Tracing the curve of each other’s palms and learning the lines scored into the skin. Fingertips becoming fluent in the landscape of one another’s bodies. Mapping them, like you’re afraid to forget.

Your eyes glass over, whether from fatigue, or from the now smoldering fire inside you, or from something harder to pinpoint. Your head feels heavy, leaning on Joel’s chest, listening to the drum of his heart against your ear. It sounds familiar, like you’ve known it forever. Like you can almost hear the whisperings between the soft thudding.

You start when you feel him moving beneath you. He groans, stretches his arms, and then snakes them around your body. The end credits are rolling. The movie’s over. You weren’t asleep, but you missed half of it. Your mind elsewhere – though you have no idea where.

Maybe you do. Maybe that’s not something you can bear – yet. Yet yet yet.

You crane your neck and look up to your boss. He’s already staring right back at you. His eyes widen.

“What did you think?” you ask sleepily.

He sniffs. “It’s good. Very politically charged. Lotsa Swayze.”

Your lips curve, cheek nuzzles into his shirt. “Very us, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah. Especially that part in the water. When he –” his arms lift, holding an invisible Baby up – “y’know? You ‘n me, we do that all the time.”

“I hate you.”

He tightens his grip around your shoulders and lifts you closer, smiling. You think, when his eyes dart for half a second to your lips, that he might kiss you. You think you want him to. But he simply asks, “You want some tea?” and reaches over to swipe the empty containers from your nightstand.

You nod. “I’ll come help.”

“I got it,” he assures in that Southern gentleman tone, steady hand on your thigh as he slips out of bed.

“You don’t even know where the mugs are.”

Joel considers this for all of five seconds. Shrugs. Tells you, “I’ll figure it out,” and disappears through to the kitchen.

You lay back and close your eyes, counting each cupboard door opening and then immediately falling shut as he makes his way around the place, seeking out your collection of mugs. When he eventually opens what must be the right one, you hear him exclaim.

“Ha! First try.”

You snort, bleary eyes opening again to focus on the TV. They’re discussing the Kardashians on The View. Your eyebrows lift in agreement as if you’re sat in the studio with them. They move on to some segment on the president.

Joel returns a few minutes later, two mugs in hand, and passes you the one shaped like a ghost.

“Cute,” you whisper, taking it in both hands.

He flashes you a proud grin as he lays back down, sipping on a black coffee in a faded mug your mom gave you years ago.

You tap your nail against the ceramic in his hands. “World’s Best Daughter.”

“That’s me,” he replies, propping himself up on an elbow. “Your mom get you it?”

Your head drops, eyes staring at him from under low brows. “No. My fucking neighbor did.”

He stares back as he lifts the mug to his lips. They melt in a kiss against the ceramic. When he pulls it away again, he swallows, and says, “You’re close to her.”

“My neighbor? Yeah, she lives right next door.”

“Easy, smartass.”

You flash him a smug grin, which dissolves as quickly as you notice his eyes lingering on the half-heart charm around your neck. By instinct, your fingers clutch the smooth gold, as if protecting the smallest part of yourself from him. The only part you’ve never let him in on.

But there’s something in his eye – something that feels less like a spotlight and more like a warm fire. Sharing secrets muted by the sputtering of wood, held safely by the round rusty glow of the flames. Something kinder. Something protective.

“Yeah,” you say, voice crackling, “we’re closer ‘n anyone. Been through a lot together.”

Joel nods. He knew that already. “I’ll bet, pretty girl.”

And in typical Joel fashion, he doesn’t press for any more than you willingly offer. A part of you kind of wants him to ask more, wants him to push you. A weight jumps at the bottom of your chest, like the words fail to launch. And before you can retry, before you can confess more of yourself into his hands, he says –

“Ask me som’.”

You stall, and look at him intently. “What?”

“Anything you want. Free pass.”

Your cheeks swell. “What do you mean?”

 “If we’re sharin’ things, ‘s only fair we both do.”

“I don’t – We don’t have to –”

“Ask me,” he says slowly, eyebrows twitching.

“O-kay…”

You push a deep breath from your lips, cheeks globing as you scan around the room for inspiration. Something casual enough that you can ask it with ease, but deep enough that he’ll give you an answer worth sinking your teeth into. Something you don’t know about him; light enough to roll off your tongue, and then heavy when it lands in your palms.

Your gaze orbits back to his patient form and you ask, “How did you get the money to start your company?”

Joel seems to feel the weight of it when he catches it. Heavy, rather than light. Deep, rather than casual. He opens his mouth, runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek before he answers. “My, uh…my dad. He had a little bit of money.”

“He invest in it?”

“No, no. He, uh…he left it when he died.”

Your lips pull in a wince. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, and Joel looks up.

“’s okay, baby,” he replies, with a soft chuckle that makes the loose collar of his shirt quiver. He pushes some hair out of your face, settles his hand on your knee.

You hook two fingers around his thumb. He squeezes lightly.

“He musta loved you a lot. Leavin’ you so much.”

Another deep breath. His body stiffens. You think to unlock your fingers and take his hand properly, comfort him, maybe – but he’s already lifting it, scratching his beard with his thumb. He watches a bubble swirl around in his mug until it disappears with a pop into the dark coffee, and he finally looks up.

“It’s kinda…complicated. He and my mom – they were married for years, ‘n he ended up…” Joel swallows. His jaw clenches. “He cheated on her. Had this mistress for months. Mom found out through a friend of hers. She kicked him out of the house, but they never divorced. Just stayed separated until he died, ‘n then he left all his money to her.”

“To your mom?”

Joel nods. “She didn’t want a penny of it. Hated the man ‘til the day he died ‘n beyond.”

And you believe it. Ruth Miller was kind, warm and charming to you. She laughed with you, she smiled like she’d known you her whole life, she held your hands and she whispered secrets about Joel in your ear – purposefully to embarrass him, to make that bashful side turn its head again.

But she was sharp. She was quick, and you knew within the first five minutes of meeting her exactly where Joel got his wit and his mind. You can see her, clear as day, guarding the front porch of that little white house – one hand on her hip and the other pointing in the direction her cheating husband was to head.

Just as clear, you can see her stood over that same husband’s grave, waving her fist and tearing his will into confetti. It brings something of a smile to your face. Sad, sympathetic, but…impressed.

“Wow…So she – she gave it to you? And you – put it into the company?”

He shrugs, grip tightening around the mug. “When I started makin’ money, I paid off the mortgage on her house, managed to convince her to retire early. Got her into a good retirement home, once she was ready for it.”

Smart guy.

A calm quiet falls between you. Joel turns to watch the commercials on TV. Your chest fills with a need to ask him something – a feeling all too familiar whenever you’re around him. Only him. A weight on your mind, a bubbling which starts in your stomach and rises up until it’s practically pushing the words out over your tongue.

“Your dad – how do you not hate him?”

He turns back. Your eyes are stinging. He notices. Holds his palm out, and your fingers instantly lace through his. Your nails find those same valleys, the grooves you’d traced while Swayze and Grey mamboed.

Joel stares up at you, face suddenly tight with worry. He knows there’s something loaded behind your question. Knows you’re asking for something more than another jigsaw piece of him. You’re doing it again. You’re freakin’ him out.

“I…” He falls quiet, looks between your eyes at the pearly tears which form in the corners, the way your face sets to stone. He glances down at your necklace again, and shakes his head softly. “I spent a long time hatin’ him, baby. Changed nothin’. He did what he did. He was a scumbag.”

The answer melts your angry frame, body folding and sinking further into your pillows. You tug the bedsheet a little closer to your chin, press your lips into the top of the ceramic ghost’s head.

Your voice sounds small, sounds like it doesn’t even come from your chest, when you say, “I think I hate my dad. For what he did.”

Joel finally relaxes. Like he’s finally seen the tiny creature casting the huge, stretched shadow on the wall. “You…Yeah?”

You nod. Stare at the cotton mountain of your legs entangled in his. “Yeah. He just up ‘n left, when things got boring. When I grew up, and my mom got older. Just packed his car, and…I always wonder –” a breath lurches from your chest, “– I always wonder why I wasn’t worth stickin’ around for. Why he just – decided one day to…”

Your voice fails to carry. Joel knows the end of the sentence, anyway.

You’ve never told anybody any of this. Not Blake, not your mom, not any of your friends; you barely even know in yourself how you feel about it – even twelve years later. But the air in the room feels different – feels thicker, like you’re tucked away from the world. The conversation won’t leave your apartment, you know that much. Know that Joel wouldn’t speak of it again, wouldn’t so much as let it cross his own mind, if you asked him not to. And so you let the words tumble from your tongue, let them sit heavy in the space between you.

The space between you, which is now silent, like you’re both preoccupied. Joel, taking in the weight of what you’ve said into strong, safe hands; and you, feeling that same weight lift off of your chest. Until the silence itself feels clunky, and awkward, and you scram to find something to break it up.

“Anyway. Sorry to be a bummer.”

“You ain’t a bummer. Are you kidding?” Joel sighs. “I’m sorry, babygirl. Sorry that happened to you.”

“’s okay. He was just a scumbag, right?”

“Sure sounds it.”

You take a small sip, the tea sugarcoating your lips and flooding over your tongue – the sweet taste ridding them of the bitter memory of your dad. “Your turn,” you hum.

Joel’s head jerks. “No, darlin’, you already told me somethin’. You go again.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“I’m changin’ the rules.”

You try to protest, manage the sound Jo– before his hand lifts and he shushes you.

“That’s what I was gonna ask, anyways. Was gonna ask about you ‘n your dad. Now, go.”

He’s lying. You know it, and you suspect he knows you know it, too. It’s a terrible attempt at a lie, no matter how kind it is. But you’re too tired, a little too in pain to argue back over it. And he’s looking at you again, with that honeycomb twinkle in his eye, that Joel look which stirs something in you every time he shows you it.

You sigh, accepting defeat, and rack your brain for something else you want him to talk about.

“Alright, uh…What about your brother? He didn’t want any of your dad’s money?”

Joel’s face twists into something of a grimace. You instantly regret bringing it up.

“Touchy subject?” you ask, already coming up with five new, two-dimensional questions to ask in place of that one. Who was your first kiss and what was your first car and when did you find your first gray hair and what’s your mom’s maiden name and –

But you don’t need them.

Joel says, “Not with you,” and tilts his head, like measuring up his answer. He takes his time letting it filter down to his lips, and you reckon you’ve a good idea of why.

He was closed-off about it in Paris. About his brother. Didn’t say more than three sentences about him. And that was only where a sheep farm was considered. What you’re asking about right now is a hell of a lot deeper and a hell of a lot more difficult than a ranch in the Texan countryside.

“He was always closer to Dad. They used to go out huntin’ every Sunday. Liked the same music, watched the same TV. They were buddies, more ‘n anything. When it turned out my dad had this whole other life behind our backs – behind Tommy’s back – he flipped. Couldn’t take it. He disappeared, never looked back. Just packed his car, moved across the country.”

He’s staring at the TV now, barely blinking. Barely breathing, until you speak and it’s like he remembers he’s in your apartment, on your bed, with you. Not back in time twenty years, watching the dust kick up from under his little brother’s tires.

“He must’ve been pretty mad.”

“Yeah. Tommy’s like that, he’s got a hot head on his shoulders. But it meant leavin’ Mom, y’know? She went through all of that without him. I had to pick up all these broken pieces, juggle all this stuff, ‘n he just got to walk away from it all. And then, when Dad died, he refused to come back still. Left me to organize everything – the money, the funeral. The whole damn thing.”

He flicks his head, resentfully, like trying to dislodge the memory from his mind. Trying to shake it free. When you speak, it seems to soften him. Seems to thaw whatever angry image was frozen behind his eyes.

“Yeah,” you sigh, “that part sucks. I bet it was hard goin’ through all that without him.”

Joel’s head angles towards you. “Not any harder ‘n it was on you, goin’ through what you did.”

“Well…I know I would’ve found it easier if I had a brother or sister. Someone like me, someone who gets it, y’know?”

“Hm. We weren’t all that close to begin with, I guess.”

“You were close enough to want to buy a ranch together.”

He shakes his head again, this time refusing to let the idea in. Turning it away at the door.

“You miss him?”

“It my turn to ask somethin’ yet?” he asks, smiling.

But you’re feeling braver now. He’s answered everything up until now; it feels less like a game and more like…more like he wants to talk about it. Like it’s been pent up all this time and this is the first anyone’s brought it up. A relief to get it off his chest, if nothing else.

You ignore him. Press him. “Do you?”

Joel sighs deep enough that his coffee ripples a little in his mug, and then nods. “Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like if we were on speaking terms, yeah.”

“So, call him. You have his number?”

“I ain’t gonna call him, baby.”

“Where’s he at?”

“Last I heard, ‘n it was a long time ago now – he was in Wyoming. Married, kid on the way.”

“Call him. You really gonna let that kid grow up without Uncle Joel around?”

“Uncle Joel,” he repeats, laughing now. “He does not want to hear from me, angel. Let it go.”

Joel turns the volume up and settles back into bed, pillows propped behind him. You pass him your empty mug and he slots it alongside his own. As the commercials end and Whoopi Goldberg flashes a grin into the camera, you give it one final shot.

“I’d give anything to have someone who knew and understood me as well as a brother might.”

His hand falls limp against your bedsheets, remote loose in his fingers. You lift his arm, nuzzling underneath it to lean your head by his heart, and he sighs.

Argument won.

“Too many big questions,” you mutter after a while, eyes clinging to the screen. “Ask me somethin’ stupid.”

“Somethin’ stupid,” Joel repeats, and you nod. “Alright. Who’d you lose your virginity to?”

You slap his chest. “Dirtbag!”

He chuckles. “Who was it? Blake?”

“No,” you reply.

“Damn. Who?”

You roll your eyes, though he can’t see you.

But suddenly you feel the loose spaghetti straps of a slip dress over your shoulders, see the off-white glow of three-year-old sneakers crossed at your ankles, chipped pink fingernails tracing the blurry pastel shapes on floral bedsheets. A dry throat, the sanitized backwash of vodka and coke splashing across your tongue. A smash from downstairs – someone’s broken the host’s mom’s best vase.

“Was just this guy I slept with at a house party,” you tell Joel, clearing your throat. “Lisa Tait’s sweet sixteenth. We were in her bedroom, all of us, ‘n everyone started heading downstairs, ‘til it was just me ‘n this dude Jack laying on her bed.”

“You had sex on some other girl’s bed?”

You nod, cringing a little. “I wasn’t even friends with her. Wasn’t even friends with him. Just thought, fuck it. I didn’t wanna go into senior year a virgin ‘n neither did he, I guess.”

“How’d it go?”

The messy, uncomfortable thrusts between your legs. The hand shooting down to guide himself back in. The wet lips running along the shell of your ear, the acidic breath on your cheek. Is that good for you? Yeah, it’s good for me. You sure? I’m sure. Just hurry up.

“Lasted, like, four minutes, thirty seconds.”

Joel’s body jerks. You know he’s staring at the crown of your head. “You timed him?”

“No. He lasted as long as Paradise by Coldplay. It was playin’ downstairs in the living room.”

He tips his head back and laughs to the ceiling. You giggle into his shirt.

“Poor guy,” Joel says, rubbing your shoulder.

“Poor me, more like.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, and pats your head. “Least you’re doin’ alright now.”

You push yourself up from his chest and glare at his satisfied smirk, dodging his thumb when it lifts to clip your chin. “Oh, you’re so smug about it.”

“Are you kidding? For lastin’ longer than five minutes? ‘course I am. Can make you come twice in that time.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. Runs the tip of his tongue along his top lip, corners of his mouth twitching. Something sparks to life inside you.

Your knee lifts, reaching over his waist and planting into the mattress on the opposite side. Joel’s hands come to rest on your thighs, fingers slipping up beneath the black cotton and edging against your hipbones. You bend over him, lips running a wet trail from the base of his neck to his earlobe. His breath falters.

“Prove it, daddy,” you whisper, and his grip tightens.

“Baby,” he warns, voice suddenly sharper. “We don’t have to –”

You ignore him, holding him down by the shoulders. “I want to.”

“I’m just sayin’,” his fingers wrap around your wrists, “’s not why I came here. We can just hang out.”

“We are hanging out,” you tell him. “This is what we do.”

And he seems to agree. Or, at least, accepts defeat, in the form of rolling his hips upwards. His fingers slip through yours, locking at your knuckles, anchoring you to him. You grind against his belt buckle, the hard metal flat against your clit. Joel clocks you instantly.

He sits up. Holds you by the ass on his body until your center is flush with his. You feel him stir beneath your open legs.

He shifts to the edge of the bed, keeping you chest to chest in his lap. Your teeth grit against one another. His lips are warm, they still taste like coffee. You lick at the corners.

“Wanna make yourself feel good on me?” he asks.

A smile as sweet as sugar and laced with something darker spreads across your lips. “You’re best at it, right?”

Joel hums. “Alright,” he says, impressed. His chin lifts; he breathes a laugh as you pepper his jaw with kisses. “Take what you need, angel. ‘s all yours.”

Your knees spread wider. You push down on his swollen crotch, voice catching as he meets you halfway, bucking up into you again. Your clit throbs at the contact, forcing you back up off him.

“D-addy,” you choke, hands suddenly gripping his shoulders.

Joel’s stronger. He takes your waist and replaces you on his lap. “Shh,” he whispers, breath hot against your ear, “’s okay, baby. I got you. We’re gonna make you feel good together, alright? Here.”

He slides you over until your legs are either side of one of his, his thick thigh flat against your most sensitive spot. You dig your nails into his forearms, squeezing hard, but he doesn’t budge. Just looks up at you, holding you steady, and says –

“Go on. Ride it, babygirl.”

You move an inch. The rough fabric catches on the soft of Joel’s underwear. You gasp, relief mixing with arousal and spilling warm and soothing between your legs.

Joel squeezes your hips. “Do it, darlin’. Make yourself feel good. ‘m here, I’ll watch.”

The fabric beneath your pussy is soaked, probably dampening a mark into his pants – and you don’t fucking care. It feels good – the steady weight of him, lifting his thigh as you drag yourself along it, beginning to rock back and forth.

Your eyes are closed, head to the ceiling, grinding your core against his. You can feel him staring. Watching you, his gaze red hot on your already fevered skin. You collapse into him over and over, his body solid as a rock, letting yours fold against him. Liquid in pleasure and feeling.

Your eyes open a sliver and you smile, taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

Joel smirks. “You know how fucking perfect you look right now?”

You nod, forehead coming to lean heavily on his.

He bucks his leg, jaw tight. “How – fucking – beautiful you are? Making yourself come on daddy’s thigh?”

You inhale the words as he speaks them, swallowing them in gasps and parting your lips complacently for more. Keep going. Keep telling me –

“–you my good girl?”

“Mhm,” you whimper, legs starting to give.

“Gonna get me covered in you? Gonna come all fuckin’ over me, babygirl?”

“Daddy, I want –”

“Tell me,” he demands, “tell me what you want.”

His hands are clamped on your waist, guiding you – driving you, more than your weak hips are able to – holding you to him almost painfully. Your body circles messily, becoming sloppier the closer your orgasm draws, quivering when the feeling runs a delicate hand through your hair and plants wet kisses along your neck.

“Want you to fuck me, daddy,” you whine, body rocking again. Your hand lowers to cup the outline of him, rock-hard and restrained beneath linen. He shudders when you squeeze him – looks down to your small hand on the huge bulge in his trousers. “Need to feel you inside me.”

Your own eyes are stuck on the place where your bodies connect, writhing against one another – the wet seam of Joel’s underwear, the folds of his pant leg as you rut against him. Your empty cunt tightens, aching for more against his firm thigh.

“’m gonna, pretty girl,” he says, groaning as you palm him. “‘m gonna fuck you so good. Just give me one first, alright? Let me see you come for me.”

Your body jolts as you come. Hips lose their rhythm; arms lock tight around Joel’s shoulders. And all the while, his lips stay pressed against your ear.

“Look so good, baby,” he coos. “That feel good, angel? Yeah?”

As quickly as your orgasm sent you under, you’re pulling back. You haven’t even regained feeling between your legs, but you’re pushing yourself from his lap, separating your bodies.

Joel sits back, body lightweight when you tug on his wrists and drag him up to height in front of you. You’re backing up across the plush rug, his chest bumping against yours, your fingers fumbling for the buttons of his shirt. Your back hits the bathroom door. Joel twists the handle.

You spill onto the cold tile, attached at the mouth, frantically tearing clothes from each other’s bodies. It’s desperate. It’s burning. It’s almost fucking painful, how bad you need him.

His hands run from your cheeks to the hem of your shirt, hauling it over your torso and tossing it to the counter. You peel the shirt from his shoulders and your bare chest meets his, his hands finding your hips again when he whips them from his sleeves. The white shirt drops to your damp floor, dark, wet marks spreading across the dress fabric.

“Shoot,” you mumble against his lips. “My – bad. Sorry.”

“Don’t – care,” Joel breathes, and his thumbs push beneath his waistband.

You spin on your heel, backing towards the shower and taking him by the jaw with you. He shoves the clothing down his legs, stepping out of them and catching you again in time to drag the underwear from your thighs.

You shift into the shower, both fully naked. Joel spins the nozzle and the warm water rains down between you. His chest quickly soaks, dark hair thicker and blacker, flat against his glistening skin. He tilts his head under the spray and soaks his hair – gives one heavy flick of the head like a wet dog, and you laugh as he pulls you in again.

His hands cup your face as he connects your lips, and then his right drifts down your neck and pushes your tit up, squeezing the sensitive skin in his palm and rolling your firm nipple between two fingers. He lets it drop, runs his hand delicately down your frame, following the curve of your waist to your hips. He cups between your legs.

You come up for air, a sudden realization over your head as though the water runs freezing cold. “Wait,” you start, “I gotta –”

But he’s rubbing gentle circles against your clit, slow, pacing you as the tide of your first orgasm disappears to sea. He doesn’t seem to know, yet – or if he does, he doesn’t give a fuck.

“Joel –”

“I know,” he says, voice low and busy, but still – assuring. Unbothered. He moves his hand lower, surfing along your slit, until his fingers brush the wet string.

Your breathing jumps. He taps the seam of your thigh twice, and your leg tilts aside. Your eyes flit back up, crossing over his chest to fix on his jaw. You feel a flushing heat cross your cheeks, a moment’s hesitation before your fingers clamp around his wrist.

“Hey,” he whispers, and you almost don’t hear him over the running of the shower. He keeps his left hand on your jaw, his right between your legs. He shakes his head once, and takes the string in two fingers, and –

Gently pulls. Only a fraction, and then he pauses. Looks back up at you, a question in his stare.

You nod, exhaling heavily. He pulls again, and he doesn’t stop.

The tampon falls wet and heavy into his palm. His hand leaves your cheek and settles around your waist, leaning both of you out of the shower while he reaches for some toilet paper. Once it’s wrapped in a roll of white tissue and sat on your sink, he moves back into the cubicle.

He runs his palm under the flow; splashes of red swept up, watered down, and carried to the drain along with every last whispering of worry on your lips. Your elbows bend around his neck and he dips his head to kiss you, pushing you carefully into the corner.

“You tell me –” he kisses you, “– if it hurts or it gets too much, you tell me.” His body stands huge, blocking yours from the stream of water. Your back bumps against the shower wall; the shock of the cold tile pushes you closer to Joel.

“Just – fuck me.”

But he’s adamant. “You tell me.”

“I’ll tell you. You’ll know.”

“This is about you feelin’ good.”

“I’ll tell you,” you whine.

“We’re gonna have a word,” Joel instructs, lining up between your legs. He lifts your thigh to sit on his hip. “’n if you say it, I stop. Alright?”

You nod, fervently. “Please –”

His fingers separate your lips; his tip nudges your entrance. “Maple, alright? It gets too much, you say maple. You do that?”

“Joel, if you don’t –”

“Baby.”

“Maple,” you agree, “I’ll say it. Just –”

He pushes in without another word.

How many times has it been, by now? Ten? More than that? Enough for you to know in your mind, if not from trying to learn then simply from muscle memory, exactly how he feels. The curve of his cock, the width of the tip, the length of him as he slots deep inside you.

And yet – every fucking time – you feel so full. Full of him in every sense – your cunt, swollen around him, your lungs, breathing his scent, your every thought and feeling and sense replaced by Joel. Joel Joel Joel Joel –

He’s suffocating. And if you died right now – if you were smothered by him, swaddled until you couldn’t feel anything anymore – you’re not sure you’d be able to tell. Not sure you’d care enough to notice.

He pushes in slow, but deep. So fucking deep. Lets your walls expand around him the first few thrusts, lets your body welcome him back in. His lips press against your temple, his arms cradle your lower back. Your weight bears down on his shoulders and he lifts you, your other leg sitting on his waist. He holds your ass in both hands, begins to bounce you steadily.

“So good, baby,” he says. “Doin’ so good for me. You’re daddy’s girl, ain’t you?”

Your answer leaves your lips in the form of a moan. Something shaped like his name, or maybe some attempt at a response to his question, or maybe something more dangerous.

“My girl,” he repeats, whatever it was you said. “Daddy’s girl.”

Your head rolls back, cushioned by Joel’s hand between you and the tile wall. He knots his fingers in your hair, snaps his hips quick and hard, panting into your shoulder. And there’s a feeling – a stinging, a burning, sweeping across your eyes, and for a second you think it feels like shampoo, like the sharp scratch of soap between your lashes, until you realize it’s –

Tears. The heavy cut of tears, brimming your eyes. Blurring your vision. And with every thrust, every blissful meeting of Joel’s cock and your cervix, every inch he spreads you open wide – they form quicker, and quicker, and quicker. Until they spill down onto your cheeks, and you can’t tell the difference between them and the spray of the shower.

But Joel can. His head lifts from the crook of your neck, his teeth dragging from your skin. He spots your eyelashes, silky and wet, and in one motion, wraps his arm around your head, holds you with the inside of his elbow.

He dips his jaw, presses his lips featherlight to your cheeks, kisses the tears away as quickly as they roll down.

“I –” gasp, “– don’t know –” gasp, “– why I’m –”

Joel’s head shakes as he pulls away. Shuts you up. His answer is simple. You believe it instantly.

“’s okay. You’re okay.”

And right then – you think you understand.

Because you can see him – plain as day. You can see the amounts he cares for you, the limitless needs he can meet for you. There’s a warmth within you, spread throughout your body for him, and you have no fucking idea how to let him feel it. How to have it seep through your skin – so that every time his fingers ghost over your body, he’s met with a blaze strong enough to burn. A fire, big enough and bright enough that it shows him exactly how you feel.

Only him. No one else. A flame only he can see, dancing across your eyes when you look at him. A heat only he can feel. How do you make him feel it? How do you tell him? What combination of words might translate it?

It’s like slamming your fists against a glass barrier. A transparent wall, that allows you only to see him and draw near to him – never to feel him. Not really.

And so, you cry. You cry for him, for yourself. And Joel lets you.

For a little while.

His lips are back on your neck, biting marks into the soaking skin. “’attagirl,” he hums. It rattles your pulse, disturbs the rhythm and sends his own beating through your veins. “So good, baby.”

They soothe you – his lips, and the words which come from them. Soothe the sweet pain between your legs, the swollen ache every time Joel pushes into you. The stretch, the bruising tinge when his tip finds home in the deepest part of your body. Somewhere no one has ever reached, no one has ever found. No one, you feel, has ever been worthy enough to know.

Until him. Until Joel.

That same rhythm – your pulse on his wavelength – begins to flee south. Loops and swirls and dives to where his body connects with yours. Tightens rapidly around your cunt. Your hips grind against his, your thighs clamp on his waist. He starts to falter, hips slipping whether from blood or come or water. And then he’s growling, face burying into your chest as he steadies the two of you with an abrupt palm on the wall, and he stills.

The feeling of his release tips you over. The warmth spreading inside, so far you feel him in your stomach. Your walls contract around him, squeezing until every last drop of him is buried somewhere in you, and you lower one foot to the shower floor.

“Fuck, darlin’,” he pants, pulling his lips from your collarbone. “You okay?”

You nod, head rolling against the wall behind. You’re not crying anymore. The shower whirrs somewhere over Joel’s shoulder. Your chest feels tight. And you feel fucking euphoric.

He gives three more lazy, broken thrusts, pushing his come deeper inside. You both still, mouths curved open, exchanging breath and letting your tongues flick idly against one another.

You hold onto him long after your orgasm is shallow ripples between your legs. Long after the feeling has washed back into the ocean, your high a glimmer of sunlight bursting over the distant horizon, the aftereffects painting your world golden.

You hold onto him, and you let him run his hands slowly up and down your spine, and you sift your weak fingers through his dark hair, and you let him kiss your neck and your shoulders and your collarbones. He leans back; the flow of water cascades between you, carrying away any mess left on your bodies.

And then you let him carry you out of the shower, his tip still inside you, slowly softening. He settles you carefully against your counter, and reaches over for two white towels, caping one around your shoulders and using it to draw your body against his own.

You take the corners from his fingers and he lifts your chin, pushing your lips apart with his tongue. Then he pulls away, allows you to wrap the terry around yourself.

Joel wraps his own towel around his waist, slung loose enough that you can trace the dark hair peppered from his belly button down between his hips.

“You know how inappropriate it is to look at your boss like that?” he tuts.

You hook an arm around his neck and pull him back in. “Then stop lookin’ at me the way you do,” you tease, and he kisses your cheek.

He disappears through to your kitchen, reappears moments later with the box of Tampax, and you don’t even think to laugh or tell him you’ve an open box sat in the cupboard you’re leaning against. You just smile, and accept the clean tampon he holds out in his fingers. He leaves you to get dressed with the door closed over.

He’s sat on your bed when you emerge from the bathroom, holding his soaking shirt between two fingers. “Sorry about, uh…”

“’s alright,” he shrugs, standing up, “I’ll take it from your paycheck.”

His knuckles pinch your nose. You free yourself to place a chaste kiss on his fingers, and pass him the crinkled mess.

“I have something that’ll fit you somewhere,” you mutter, slipping past him as he hangs the shirt by the collar over your door.

“Do me a favor,” Joel’s voice follows, and he takes your wrist. You turn back to face him. “Catch your breath.”

“Huh?” you ask, and his hand comes up to mold around your cheek, the way it always fucking does. As if your bodies were made to be held by one another.

“Just – take a breath. You’re doin’ it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Movin’ at a hundred miles an hour. Breathe for me.”

You scoff, loosening yourself from his grasp to go sift through your wardrobe for something big enough for him. You settle for a Jurassic Park tee – logo faded and cracked, hem a little ragged.

“Rod’s?” he asks, holding the shirt up.

You’re already collapsing onto the mattress. “You bet.”

Joel smirks and tugs it over his head, throwing himself down against the headboard. Your hand wraps around his thigh, lips press soft kisses on the skin. He runs his hand over your hair.

“Are you gonna take a sick day off me for this?” you ask.

He shakes his head simply. “Doctor’s orders. Can’t say nothin’ to that.”

“I didn’t go to the doc–”

His thumb presses against your lips. “You don’t know when to fuckin’ lie, do you?” he whispers. “’s alright, we’ll getcha trained up.”

You snort, shaking yourself free of his hand. Your head settles by his hip, nails draw aimless patterns along the curve of his stomach.

“Need you better by Sunday, anyway,” Joel sighs, “Martha’s son’s birthday party.”

You grunt in response. You forgot about that.

Joel tuts. “Still gotta find him a present. How in the hell do I know what to buy a twelve-year-old?”

Your hand pauses. Neck cranes up to look at him. He’s staring down at you, his trademark glower still recognizable even upside down. Somehow, not sat upright in front of him, the thought seems less scary. Less of a commitment, more a casual suggestion.

“Why don’t we just get ‘im a joint one?”

The hard expression immediately wipes from his face. Replaced by something rounder. He blinks at you. “Really? From – you ‘n me?”

You shrug against his waist. It’s not answer enough for him.

“As in, you n’ me?” he asks.

“Why not?”

Joel’s head shakes. His mouth curves as he considers the thought. But he can’t mask the pang it sends through his body; can’t pretend he’s not covering the way his veins light and his nerves stand to attention by taking your hand in his and squeezing it briskly.

It doesn’t have to mean something. You, Joel, and Deb are the only people from work that Martha invited, and Deb’s bringing her two sons, which means her gift will be from them, too. All it has to mean is that you’re Martha’s co-workers, and figured it’d be cheaper and easier to get one gift over two.

Except – one of you is a millionaire.

It means something. The fact you asked. You’re not asking to save a buck, to make it simpler. You’re asking because you want to wrap some video game in paper Joel picked out; you want him to hold the folds down with one finger while you tear tape with your teeth. You want to sign the card with both of your names, in your handwriting. See how they look paired up.

You ask him because you want to feel the way you think you ought to have felt this entire time. Your body is ablaze. You’re ready to let him feel it. And you ‘n me seems like a pretty good combination of words to start with.

You’re ready. And that’s why you ask him.

Joel’s quiet for as long as you are. You both go to talk at the same time, both noticing how silent the room has fallen while you realize all of those things in real time.

“Sorry, baby, you go,” Joel says, sniffing.

“No, I was just – no, you go. What were you gonna say?”

He smiles. “Was just – wonderin’ what you wanted to get Alan.”

Your mouth opens to answer, and then you pause. “Al–? What?”

“What you wanted to get ‘im,” Joel repeats.

You push yourself up, lean on one hip in front of him. “Yeah, I heard that part. What did you call him?”

“Alan?”

You stare at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Joel stares right back. “Martha’s son.”

“Martha’s son’s name is Henry.”

“No, it fuckin’ ain’t.”

You’re biting back a laugh. “Yes, it fuckin’ is.”

“She calls him Little Al. All the damn time, baby, he’s –”

“That’s because he acts like Alan. Her husband. His father. All the damn time. You gotta be messing with me. Have you been calling him Alan the entire time he’s been alive?”

“No.”

His expression tells you yes.

You’re laughing now. Really laughing. It breaks your words in two, your head tilting back to the ceiling. “You…idiot.”

Joel’s struggling to compose himself, sliding off the bed. “The email she sent out says Alan’s Twelfth Birthday. The hell’s my phone?”

“You think she had a kid in two thousand eleven, and named it Alan? You don’t think they’d call Child Protection on her for that?”

He points a finger, tossing pillows to the bottom of your bed. “That’s disrespectful to the Alans of the world. Where the fuck is my –?”

Your chest swells in a giggle, eyes start to sting with tears. “What do you write in her Christmas cards? To Martha, Alan, and Alan?”

You slap the bed, leaning forward with a deep gasp, trying to catch your fucking breath. Joel’s still stripping the bed, still keeping his own laughter deep in his chest, but it’s quickly crumbling.

“Her email –” he chuckles, “– says Alan’s Twel–”

“She’s fucking with you!” you holler, catching the pillows he throws to you. “She’s fucking with – I’m gonna piss my pants. Martha, Alan, and Alan, oh my fucking –”

“Here,” he finally throws you the phone, “go find it. Find the email. Search the damn word Alan; she uses it every time she talks about him. Jesus Christ, I need a coffee. You want another chamomile tea, Little Miss Smartass?”

He lifts your mug and tilts it in your direction. You nod as you reach for the phone, wiping tears from your cheeks. Joel disappears through to the kitchen.

He clued you in on his passcode a few months after you started. You were still in the office past five o’clock, looking out files he needed for some client visit the following morning. His phone had buzzed, you were nearest it. He lifted his head and nodded to the lit screen.

1-6-9-1, he told you.

It finally made sense only a few days ago, after three years of wondering. Three years of knowing and never asking; a mystery solved. 1691 Maple.

His background was always one of the standard ones. The boring ones. A soft, blue gradient. Usually, his lock screen was too populated by notifications for you to even notice.

But now – it’s changed.

Now, it’s a photo of the view from the terrace in Paris. The pale sunset, faded blue into sweet yellow. The Eiffel Tower carved out in the center. You suck in a deep breath as you swipe texts and emails away to properly study it, figure out exactly where he was standing to take it, and exactly where you might’ve been when he did.

You tap in the four digits and his home screen lays out before you. Only, the background is different – again.

It’s Paris, still, but indoors. Dark wall, an ornate frame pinned to it, housing an amused smirk and soft hands. She’s looking off into the distance, past the photographer. Or maybe – she’s looking at you.

You, stood leaning on the barrier in front of her. The Mona Lisa. Your head tilted towards her, beaming like it’s a photo with your favorite celebrity.

It’s not a big deal. That’s what you tell yourself. It’s his home screen. Only visible if you know his password – and you’re fairly sure that you’re the only one who does. Not even Martha would know that this photo exists, never mind the fact that it’s his wallpaper. It’s not a big fucking deal.

No matter how much you think you want it to be.

You swiftly tap on the email app icon, trying to rid your mind of your own cheesing image. He has thirteen unread emails, all from the last hour. Some you know he’ll forward straight to you and Martha; others look a little more serious. As you’re scrolling down them, you notice a familiar face.

Denis Pelletier. His square-jawed grin flashes back at you from the tiny circle icon beside his name. You tap on the email, and your cheeks lift higher the further down it you read.

I hope your flight home was pleasant, and It was wonderful to take you both around Paris, and Your assistant was very sweet. You breathe a laugh, scrolling down the three-paragraph message urging Joel that if he’s ever back in Paris – if you’re ever back in Paris, both of you – to make sure you let the chauffeur know.

But there’s no email from Martha. At least, none in Joel’s inbox. You return out of the folder and wheel down to his Deleted folder, scrolling past password reset emails, panicked cries for help from Mackley and Tom, past order confirmations for brands you’ve never heard of, when –

A head of hair, more salt than pepper. A bright, unnerving smile, too many dazzling teeth in a mouth too small to house them. A pink sky behind him; candy floss clouds and townhouses glowing orange in the sunset – the building blocks of the Paris skyline.

Jean-Marc. An email – a deleted email – from Jean-Marc.

Dear Joel, It was such a pl… is all you can read from the preview. Your eyes flit up to your door. Joel’s still in the kitchen, humming. You glance back down to his phone.

Would it be invading his privacy? It’s only an email from Jean-Marc. It’s not like you don’t know who he is. What if your thumb slipped? Accidentally opened it? What if your eyes scanned over the text before you quickly swiped back out of the email?

There’s the sound of a drawer rolling closed. A spoon rattling against ceramic. He’s stirring your tea.

You click on the email.

It was such a pleasure to see you again.

You scan over the first paragraph. It’s just Jean-Marc cozying up to Joel. Your nose wrinkles and your lips turn.

I loved meeting your assistant, the next paragraph begins. And your focus is pulled.

I wonder if you had given our conversation any more thought? Whether she might be looking for a new challenge? Something this side of the Atlantic, perhaps?

Your heart skips a beat. A new challenge.

“You want the last egg roll?” Joel calls from the kitchen.

You jolt back to life. “N-no, you have it,” you reply. You hear the rustle of the bag.

I wonder if you might relay the message onto her, Jean-Marc continues. Please give her my email address and phone number.

You quickly pull the screen up, noting the date the message was sent. Three days after you got home from Paris. More than a week ago. You tap on Joel’s response as his footsteps creak back towards your bedroom.

His reply is as short and sweet as the few words he spoke to the Frenchman that Sunday morning.

I’ll pass on your details, he’s written, but unfortunately, my assistant is currently unavailable. Maybe sometime in the future.

Your jaw jerks. Eyes trace the words, over and over. Thumb scrolls up and down the email, making sure you’re reading it right. Joel, making promises he never followed through. Joel – your Joel, the one you pestered for fucking days after Paris over what he’d talked with Jean-Marc about – one hand laced through yours, the other with a vice grip around a secret he never intended to clue you in on.

You. He’d talked about you. They’d probably talked about you the entire fucking meeting, as soon as Joel mentioned you. You can see Jean-Marc’s ears twig; his eyebrows lift with interest. The way he sets his wine glass down, offers Joel another whiskey and invites him to say more.

Joel. Lying. And covering up. And keeping you close by his hip, walking in stride with him out of that fucking penthouse – like you’re on some kind of leash, or something.

The fabric of his underwear on your hips feels claustrophobic; a second layer of skin that rubs against yours like sandpaper. You want to rip them off off off – want to separate yourself from him, peel him from your body and forget the feeling of him as quickly as you seemed to absorb it. Instinct tells you to detach yourself – to remove any trace of him ever having laid eyes on you, never mind touched you.

What a fucking idiot, you think. He doesn’t fucking care about you after all.

You don’t even notice when his form saunters back into the room, when he shoves the door closed with his elbow. There’s a bitter taste on your tongue, sour with disappointment. Acrid with anger. Sick with fear.

Unavail–?

“You find it?” he asks, and you subconsciously clutch the phone to your chest.

“Not yet,” you murmur, watching as he sets the mug back on your nightstand.

His fingers slip through the handle, knuckle nudges the temple of the ghost a little further along the surface, and he straightens, lifting his own mug to his lips.

“’s in there,” he says against the ceramic. He holds a hand out, curls his fingers. “Let’s see.”

“Never mind,” you say, tapping out of the email, out of the folder, out of the app. “I believe you.”

And then –

“…You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

He licks his lips. Holds the mug by his side, fingers gripping the lip. He gives a non-committal shrug of the shoulders.

“No, darlin’. Why would I lie to you?”