#and plus who even thinks that association is unreasonable

[kthynes]

Mmmmmm I was thinking early on in their relationship Husband for Hire Lloyd is flirting or having a woman flirting with him and reader gets a little jealous but doesn’t know why……it’s all for show right? Lloyd notices her and plays the flirting up to get to her…

green eyed goddess

nsfw 18+ / minors DNI

warnings: course language, reader being a bit of a brat. Pint loads of jealousy.

a/n: ah ah thank you for this juicy request! I love writing for this series and that too for Lloyd.

The Governor's Gala. A nightly soirée that amasses the rich and the racketeers. It’s your first time attending one and that too with your most coveted (and fucking annoying) husband to be. He’s somewhere out of sight, working a crowd he knows best while you sip on the sharpest champagne that’s ever touched your lips. You’re doomed to solitude as it comes and goes with galling seconds to spare.

“Madam?” Another waiter calls for your attention with a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Your eyes widen, brows raised at the assortment of croquettes and swampy bechamel that was less than appetizing.

“No thank you.” You hastily wave, passing up on an empty stomach that’ll later claw on itself. “Thanks.”

The decrepit man gives you a prolonged, tuck lipped smile before turning on his haunches and perishing away. As if telling him off twice wasn’t enough.

Fucker.

Being your own plus one was dreadful. You’d think the ground would swallow you whole but instead you stand smack dab in the middle as people waltz by. You brace yourself in a one of a kind Oscar de la Renta gown that clings onto you for dear life. Your feet were practically crying in Ferragamo.

Ready to kick Lloyd in the ass, your eyes scour the ballroom and among the throngs of bodies you finally spot him. He’s engrossed with laughter and so is the scant woman next to him. You’re more so laser focused on her now. She’s beautiful. Exactly his type. Busty and bodacious, someone you’d catalog for superfluous.

You observe the interaction for a fraction too long and that’s when you notice it all. Like the way her hand grazes and holds him by his forearm while her doe eyes palpate a big ‘fuck me daddy.’

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Your candid sips turn into gulps. Another swift waiter passes by and as opportunity presents itself, you grab another flute. You’re stuck on being dumbfounded by him. He continues to smile and charm some next whore who flips her shampoo commercial hair at every remark and murmur. He’s definitely pulling all the stops for this one. Even going the extra mile it seems.

You scoff, cursing under your breath like a petulant child.

Lloyd is used to women throwing themselves at him so this jocular rendezvous comes as no surprise. Although, what takes him by the upheaps is the steam that comes from your ears. You stand by the Allwin brothers looking torrentially distraught. There’s a small divot in between your brows that loom over your glassy eyes. Your lips are downturned, a slight quiver emulates every cathartic emotion you could be feeling. You saw right through him. Lloyd was now looking right at you. And then like the crass lover you were your mouth slowly formed the words that every man yearned to hear at least once in their useless lifetime: ‘Fuck you.’

It was deafeningly loud and punctuated. Lloyd decides to play nice. He politely turns to Gigi with grace and excuses himself. She’s stumped, wanting nothing more than to suck him dry. But he doesn’t promise her another time. Instead he passes her off to an associate, Rocco who then shakes her small hands with his large ones. “Bella.”

“Oh hi!” Gigi yips, embracing the friendly giant before her. Surely enough their conversation covers for Lloyd as he goes after you in pursuit.

You immediately skirt away, already bubbling with champagne and unreasonable anger.

“What the fuck, Y/N!” You whisper yell at yourself, pivoting through the foyer that stretches from one end to another.

“What is wrong with you?” You’re apprehending yourself for the unaccounted tomfoolery. There’s no way you, of all people, felt some sort of way. No way.

“No entry, madam!” A man from coat check hollers. You circle back and walk past his vacant command. “Hi, excuse me! Sorry you can’t—“

“It’s alright, mate.” Lloyd breathlessly assures the teen who was merely attempting to do his job.

Just when you thought you lost him to the odious coquette, he turns up looking irrevocably sagacious with his hands spread apart like a true mafioso. “Really?”

You stop at a deadend that crescendos your impalpable defeat and submission. Your back is turned towards the man who’s caveats you a part of his name. But truly there’s nothing you could say or do that would make you seem reasonably sound. So you backpedal instead.

“This was a big fucking mistake.” You tremble, clouded with resentment that has Lloyd arching his brows ever so slightly.

“Oh yeah?” He folds his arms over his chest, biceps bulging and tightening under the fitted suit jacket. “How so?”

“I shouldn’t have come. You clearly don’t need me.” You squeak, disguising your infatuated sense of jealousy with urgency. Lloyd sucks in a deep breath. The night hasn’t been long enough to test his wit yet here he was questioning everything that was you.

“You’re right, I don’t.” He philosophizes. “But I also don’t have her if that’s what you’re trying to imply.” There’s a threatening matter of fact to his tone. You can’t fully exacerbate the nuance, not when your mouth worked faster than your brain.

“I don’t know that!” Oh get a grip, Y/N.

“Look, Gigi is an old business partner. She works in the diamond trade and so a lot of the time I keep her in close contact.”

“Bullshit.”

“She was asking about you.” He coos.

“No, she was ready to fuck you!”

“Of course she was!” Lloyd booms and then pauses, trying to properly paraphrase his thought process in a consoling plight. “But I wasn’t offering myself up. I just wanted to have something made… for you.”

“What?”

“You don’t have a ring, Mi Luna.” He patronizes, softening his inclination with a long, yearned gaze. You flinch, utterly mortified.

“Oh my god, that was a joke! I don’t—“

“Let me.” He shuts you down almost immediately and for that your frown lines deepen. “I haven’t done much and this would mean something.”

“It would mean nothing.” You retort, feeling your insides turn out.

“Or it can be returned once this is all done and over with.” Lloyd adds, resoundingly glum. “How does that sound?”

“Sounds like I should run with it.”

“Not so fast now baby girl.” He laughs while holding an arm out for you. “Shall we get back in?”

“With my own two feet, thanks.” You huff and puff.

“After you then.” Lloyd bows out the moment you brush past him. He’s truly bound by your insanity. His green eyed goddess.

[daebraeksan]

🞛You meet Bokuto’s friends at a party and it goes really well

Genre: comfort and mild reverse comfort,  established relationship/close  friendship, etc/whatever

Contents: kissing, social anxiety, people pleasing, fear of abandonment, social isolation, social needs not being met, but then having a good time at the end of this one

Wc: 2480

a/n: idk what this is but for some reason i had this vision of Atsumu seeing y/n and  Bokuto hi fiving and being probably being like _____y/n??? What about my hi fives?? Come back!!! idk lol anyway 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

You are used to being alone. Being alone protects you from getting hurt. That’s the safest option. Because of certain things that happened, it’s not unreasonable to be cautious. But as your life ran its course, the fear became unmanageable, and your mind became warped, perceiving danger everywhere. Instead of being wary that you may be hurt by people sometimes, you think that you’re going to be hurt by people all the time. 

It goes directly against everything you “know” about yourself: you are a good friend, you like talking to your loved ones, and you like to socialize when you feel safe. You want to feel safe and happy. And socializing with loved ones improves your enjoyment of life. But the pain is excruciating when you don't have enough loved ones around you, who you feel safe with. Feeling lonely is painful. 

You have a hard time viewing yourself objectively, so you always say stuff to yourself like “it will be fine, getting used to being alone.” as difficult as that seems, it seems more difficult to overcome your issues and become a different better person who can socialize easier. You don’t 

have much hope in feeling safe enough to meet new people and finding a community. If you can accept yourself, and not see yourself as less than, for being alone, then that would be great.

If you were able to be happy, you wouldn't care how it came about. You don’t want to have a scarcity mindset about how many loved ones you “deserve” to have in your life. Why do you need to put a limit on it? You don’t want to feel greedy. You don't want to ask for too much and get punished because you were too audacious. 

You wish you had people who would spontaneously call you to hang out. You never had access to that. And in the past, you couldn't be the spontaneous friend that you wished you had in your own life, because you had no one to call spontaneously anyway. 

Now, you see Bokuto’s friends always spontaneously inviting him wherever. Sometimes you have double negative associations with that because you didn't have that in the past and you still don't have that, and also it’s the end of your time hanging out with Bokuto. 

You don’t want to get into any toxic analysis about toxic relationships. Sometimes people on the internet don’t know what they are talking about. And anyone can call themselves an expert or a therapist even if they are not. People lie on the internet all the time. And in real life. And even if an expert went through schooling in a whitecishetereopatriarchal society, who knows if they even fundamentally grasp the concept they're trying to speak on, much less the solution?

All of that to say, you feel loved by Bokuto and you don’t think it’s a problem that you aren’t invited to hang out with his friends. The flip side is that it’s healthy for people in a partnership of some variety to have their own separate friends and relationships too. So anything can be spun in a positive way. It’s not the end of the world. 

And plus, you feel stressed about asking people for things they didn't offer. You don’t want to be a burden or a bother. And you don’t want to cause trouble or ask for too much and cause problems.

So anyway. 

You’re fine and everything is fine. And you like how Bokuto treats you and you are happy with him so there’s no problems, end of story. 

You are hanging out with Bokuto when he is spontaneously contacted by his friends and invited to a hangout. 

You automatically start packing up your things and getting ready to transition from hanging out with Bokuto to doing something else with your evening. 

“Where are you going?” Bokuto asks.

“Uh. I mean. Just getting ready to do something else,” you say. You supposed you don’t actually know where you’re going. You hadn't thought that far ahead. 

“Why?”

“Aren’t you hanging out with your friends?”

“Oh. I didn't really want to today, but if you’re busy, I'll go.”

“No, I just assumed you would. We can keep hanging out.”

“Oh, okay.” Bokuto grinned, outstretched his hands to you, opening and closing his fingers like little claws. You sat back down with a smile and curled up as he tugged you into him.

“I feel kind of bad that you had to assume that,” Bokuto said.

“You shouldn’t,” you say. “I’m stupid for assuming.”  

“You’re not stupid.”

“I should have asked.”

He kissed the top of your head.  

“Do I hang out with my friends too much?” he asked.

You looked at him, trying to see if he was serious. “I don’t think so. Do you think you hang out with your friends enough?”

“I think so. Do you feel like we hang out enough?”

You nod, and trace your finger along his softly worn t-shirt collar. “I think it’s enough. I am happy with how things are now. I will always be up for spending more time with, you but whatever is going on now is fine.”

“Okay, cool. I also feel that way.”

“Yay. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t make your commitments to me and your friends. I hope all the commitments can exist in harmony.”

Bokuto nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, and I hope you feel that way about me and your commitments, too.”

“I do!”

“Good.”

“Yay!”

You hold up both your hands for a hi five. He crows in delight and you burst into giggles, falling over, face pressed into his chest.

“What’s so funny?”

“We’re perfect for each other.”

“Oh!” Bokuto chuckles and grins. “I agree!” 

The next time his friends text him to hang out, you want to bring it up once and for all. You don’t want to keep being stressed about this. “Is it normal and fine that I don't hang out with your friends?”

He looks up at you in alarm, and guiltily. 

Okay. So now you are thinking it might not be normal and fine. 

“I don’t know. I think so? Do you think it’s normal and fine?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. I’m happy with you and I don’t care, unless you think it’s a problem that needs to be solved.”

He seemed to not know what you wanted to hear. 

“Why don’t you ever invite me to hang out with your friends?”

“Do you want to?” he asks.

“If you think it’s a good idea. But you don’t have to. It’s okay if you want to spend time apart. Like it’s healthy and good. I don’t care.”

He looks constipated. 

He looks at you.

“What?”

“They’ll like you,” he said. 

“That’s good.”

He looks at you like it’s not good. 

“What?”

“They’ll like you too much,” he explains. 

You look up at him, embarrassed. “Are you worried about that? I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says. “I…I’m not worried about it. I guess. I mean I am. But it’s anxiety. It’s stupid. lt’s not real.”

“Your feelings are real, but I don’t think the threat is real,” you say. “I like you.”

He side eyes you. 

“Do you not believe me?”

“You might like them more,” he says. 

“I don’t have to meet them,” you say. 

He shakes his head. “No, I can’t keep avoiding this. I have to face this fear.”

You look at him in confusion. You were the socially anxious one who was sending mixed signals about wanting to hang out or not. Maybe he wasn’t inviting you so you wouldn't have to feel bad about saying yes or no and then regretting your decision either way.  “You don’t have to.”

“Do you feel bad that you haven’t met my friends?”

You shrug. “As long as it’s not because you’re ashamed of me or something. Or like you don't think I fit into your life.”

“It’s none of those things at all.”

“Do your friends have your back? Are they the right friends for you?”

“They are really good people,” he says. “That’s what I mean. They are really likeable and awesome.”

“You are likeable and awesome.”

He looks like he doesn’t believe you. 

“I like you, and think you’re awesome,” you say. 

He nods. “Thank you.”

You squeeze his hand and kiss his shoulder. He grabs your face and presses a gentle kiss to you.

Now that he’s being brave and tackling his anxiety, you have to be brave and tackle your anxiety.

Why did you play yourself?

#~#~#

You’re nervous to meet friends of your friends. You are always nervous to meet new people. And you are more nervous when the stakes are high—you don’t want to be an embarrassment, you don’t want to not fit in. You don't want to make a bad impression. If it’s a random stranger you’re never going to see again, who cares what you say? You’re so carefree, you don’t even know what you are saying. And generally the interactions go well. But when you want the outcome to go well, you overthink everything so much that you don’t even know what to do. You don't remember anything you’ve ever said. You don't remember anything that’s ever happened to you, or anything you’ve ever done.  

What are you supposed to say?

You have social anxiety in some situations and in some situations you “perform” great. 

You never know what you’re going to get.

So anyway that’s what’s on your mind when Bokuto takes you to his friend’s house. 

It seems like you and Bokuto showed up leisurely and there were already a lot of other things happening. 

You sit with Bokuto at first, but they move around and talk to different people and are talking about something you’re not very interested in at all so you head back to the first room where other friends are all talking. 

You settle in with them and hope that you aren’t intruding.

They include you what seems like a normal amount. Not too much. They have their own things they are discussing. And you listen and try not to put your foot in your mouth or feel like you have to input too much. 

You are fine to stay quiet on topics you don’t know about because you don’t want to insert yourself into topics unnecessarily and embarrass yourself. However, so far, you follow that  

they are planning something. You don’t know what they are planning—a house party, or something. You’re nervous. You want to go. They seem like nice people. They probably wouldn't say no if you asked them. But would it be an inconvenience? It’s different for everyone, so you are never going to be able to know the exact amount of spontaneity that is fun and how much is stressful. You don't want to be a burden. You don’t want to invite yourself where you are not wanted. You don’t want to be rejected. You have seen people who “can’t read the room” and invite themselves over and everyone else seemed to be annoyed at them. You never want to be that person. 

But. You think you are reading the room properly. And you don't think they would be annoyed if you asked. If it was something they for some reason couldn't invite you to, or didn’t want to, you think they would tell you nicely. 

You think about popular friendly people you know and imagine what they would do in this situation.  They might ask “what are you all planning? Where are you all going? What are you all doing after this? Do you all want to do something after this?”

It’s incredible how there’s some people who can ask those questions bravely. Not even think about it. They just want to keep hanging out, they just want their socializing needs to be met, so they are asking. 

You think about those people. Apparently it’s an option to operate that way. You don’t know if it’s an option available to you, but it’s available to somebody. 

You don’t have to be hard on yourself. It’s okay if you don’t do this today. If that’s too big of a step, ,it’s okay.  You are already making such great steps and strides and progress. You don't have to make all your progress all at once. You did a good job today. You already did so much. You went off on your own and you talked and contributed, and you listened. And you weren’t even that anxious. You were quiet and nervous but that was because they were literally talking about a bunch of stuff you didn’t really know but they still included you. They wanted to know about you. 

And anyway, sometimes it’s okay to be quiet when the other people all know each other and are talking about stuff you don’t know. That’s logical and fine. You don’t have to have off the charts charm and charisma and know what to say in every single situation to be likeable. You are likeable as you are. 

And you can slowly get to know them better. It doesn’t have to be all at once. Over time, you may know more and more of what they are talking about, and the whole group of you will have joint memories that you can reference together. 

You don’t have to “perform” like how other people would. You don't have to pretend to be someone you’re not.  Everyone has a conversation style that works for them, and whatever you're doing is fine too. As long as you’re happy. Next time you can ask if you can go with them. You know it’s an option. And you know you would have fun! And you don’t have to have scarcity mindset. There will be a next time, and everything will be fine.  

You’re proud and happy and grateful. It went well and you didn’t even “do” anything. You don’t have to be someone you're not for people to like you. You don't have to do anything special. You just have to show up and take a chance. And people can like certain things about you and that’s enough. People don’t have to know you deeply to like you. People don't have to know your trauma and trauma bond wti you to like you and find value in you.  You don’t have to prove yourself an expert at anything and help other people to be valuable or interesting to them. People can like your surface level stuff. You can be an interesting and worthwhile person to get to know. 

When you and Bokuto return home, he is excited to hear how it went for you. He is happy that you like his friends, and he is happier that he is still your favorite. 

[viola-ing]

eldraftsman replied to your post “Why don't you like zelink?”

1.-Valid, if unreasonable 2.-Valid 3.- makes no sense(no event ever implies they're gay or even straight for someone else)

and when did i ask for you to “validate” my reasons...? i never did

[sapphire374]

Manuel!

Omg Hailey you know me too well!!! You know how much I love this character, he gives me big Golden Retriever vibes and I love it 😌

Favorite Thing About Them:

Pffff everything…. 👀🤣. Okay but honestly one of my favorite qualities about him is how respective he is to not just everyone, but also to Bia in particular. When she doesn’t feel comfortable telling him everything (whether it’s about her sister or her feelings) he understands that and doesn’t push her to talk. He would usually just say “well if you need me though I’m always here for you.” And when Bia wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with her, instead of persuading her or pushing her to be in one, he understood and respected that. This character KNOWS boundaries and respects it completely. He gives her distance when she needs it. He’s always polite about everything and doesn’t try to force anything from anyone. He believes he can help everyone and so that’s what he always tries to do. That quality right there for me is definitely rare in a character but very much needed. So yes chef’s kiss 🥰

Least Favorite Thing About Them

Even the sweet like sugar characters aren’t perfect and make mistakes. In season two, when he discovered who his biological father was, I understand his dismay and resentment towards the situation. What I didn’t like at all though is how he treated Bia. The whole time, she was trying to help him feel better and be there for him. Instead though he used that anger to push Bia away which was such a big mistake. The least, the LEAST of all people he should push away is Bia because she’s always tried to be there for him and comfort him. She truly cares and has always been just trying to help. Plus she went through a lot with Helena, especially when she was starting to finally get hope again about the possibility of her being alive and there in Buenos Aires. But she’s never pushed people away, nor unreasonably treated them bad. I understand everyone experience emotional situations differently but Bia didn’t deserve that treatment. Thankfully though, he apologized in the end so he was back to being the happy, caring, respectful person he is 💞

Favorite Line:

“No hablas asi de ella.” I found it to be really sweet when Manuel defended Bia against Alex since he was behaving really rudely and would always scrutinize her so it was sweet to see him standing up for her. Plus I can’t think of any other lines at the moment, which there are some that I prefer more than this one it’s just nothing comes to my head at this moment 😆

Also “El Puma de Amor” that line is just so iconic for me.

brOTP:

Ngl him and Jhon was such a great duo/best friends. Jhon was definitely not the brightest and horrible with dating advice/dating in general and so it always made me laugh how when Manuel would give him good advice he would interpret it as the complete opposite. 😂

OTP:

I think this is soooo obvious so I’m going to say it… Mara…. Ahh you got fooled there did ya 🤣. Of course it’s Binuel, the cutest in the world. They’re literal soulmates that are meant for each other. I love their interactions. Plus they lasted a long time without fighting or arguing at all which is also rare in a Disney ship so yes they’re fluffy, sweet, and probably too good for this world. 🥺

nOTP:

Mara and Manuel. A definite no for me. I think that ship right there is self explanatory, especially how it was so forced upon by Mara so yeah 😆

Random Headcanon:

This is going to be soooo random but him and Shawn Mendes are related. (They’re not of course) but in an imaginary world they are since they not only look very similar but also are very talented musicians (Manuel also loves playing the piano and whenever he does it reminds me of Shawn playing the piano). So yes they’re related and Manuel even follows him on Instagram too. If you guys don’t see the similarities, highly recommend you watch Stitches by Shawn Mendes first then go watch the Cuando Paso music video. You’ll probably see why there 😌😂

Unpopular Opinion:

I don’t know if this is unpopular or not but I LOVE Manuel in Bia Un Mundo Al Reves and even though it was weird to see him very differently, he did an incredible job with the role and was definitely my favorite character from BUMAR. For me, he was the best out of all of them (I had some favorites as well but seeing him act the complete opposite while acting very interesting and the way he presented his lines. It’s just so iconic). I haven’t thought of any other unpopular opinions about him but if I do I’ll let you guys know 🤔

Song I Associate with Him:

Life of the Party by Shawn Mendes (he definitely most likely have sang this to Bia at least three times)

Perfect by Ed Sheeran

Medialuna by Camilo

I would also like to head canon that Manuel would sing all of these songs to Bia 😌

*I would also like to say that Disney did him dirty by not once having him fully sing/perform Dame Un Beso when it’s a literal bop and arguably one of the best songs off of the Grita album*

Favorite picture of them:

More like favorite picturessss 👀

Like if I’ll only choose one 😆

[commander-minkowski]

I relistened to Man in Glass the other day, and I have a theory about Peter's debt. A few things jumped out at me when I heard this episode again:

Nureyev doesn't know what the Board of Fresh Starts is. This makes the idea of him having medical debt very unlikely, though it is a logical first guess. Even if he wasn't in debt to the Board specifically, with the oligopoly the pharma corps have, I have a hard time believing Peter "memorize every square inch of the building" Nureyev wouldn't have at least a passing familiarity with his debtors' major competition.

Brahma keeps coming up. "Floating city," "rule one of thieving," "when I was a child on New Kinshasa." Of all the things Nureyev has "filed away for future consideration," Brahma is a marked exception -- which is a little odd. It was a hugely traumatic experience; why not compartmentalize the heck out of it? Plus, the music in the final scene of Man in Glass part 2, when Juno is apologizing, is either identical to or is meant to closely evoke the music from the New Kinshasa square that played in Angel of Brahma. To me, this says that either a) Nureyev associates New Kinshasa music with Juno, because Juno heard it while in Nureyev's mind, or b) Nureyev generally associates New Kinshasa music with sentimentality, contrition, kindness, and love.

When Nureyev asks Buddy what his "calling card" as a thief is, she says: "An enduring moral core, coupled with a strong desire to excise that core completely. Demonstrated, of course, by a consistent pattern of pro-bono work followed up by a lot of con-bono -- like having a heart embarrasses you."

All this makes me think that Peter's debt has something to do with Brahma and New Kinshasa. And the more I think about it, the more I like this idea:

On a meta level, Takabert aren't likely to set us up with an unsolvable mystery. Sure, they've revealed small things with little-to-no set up, but all the big season arcs to date have been heavily foreshadowed. Brahma is the big thing we know about Nureyev's past -- I don't think it's unreasonable to expect it to come back into play during his Season 3 arc.

This scenario holds a lot of potential for juicy, character-driven conflict. Brahma ties into Nureyev's inner conflict over his moral core -- personally, I'm fond of the idea that he's bribing Brahmian officials to prevent things like the Guardian Angel System from happening; it's for a moral goal, but it doesn't have the "do-gooder" energy that, say, donating to a soup kitchen, has, and that Nureyev is probably allergic to.

Returning to his Brahma playbook in What Lies Beyond ("when trouble arises, I disappear") implicitly reinforces a parallel to his past.

Also, playing off the residual loyalty Nureyev has to Brahma vs. his new loyalty to the Aurinko Crime Family could be a very attractive angle for Dark Matters to exploit -- I would be all over that if I were them. And since, to quote Buddy again, "the nameless thief has made quite a name for himself," it's not a huge stretch that the Brahma incident is also on Dark Matters' radar.

And a conflict like this, between an old loyalty and a new one, would be a little spicier than Nureyev simply betraying the crew for a chance to pay his debts.

Now, this last point is a little bit of a stretch, but I'll still say it: along with the big cliffhanger of Dark Matters showing up, WLBp1 also left us with a little cliffhanger -- "who was Peter Nureyev's first love?" Like Juno, most of the audience (including myself) immediately assumed this was about romantic love, and again, this is a fine first guess. What if it's more metaphorical, though -- like the people of Brahma, or the planet itself? This sounds pretty cheesy even to me tbh, but I think it could potentially be a cool little twist.

Basically ... I think Nureyev's past with Brahma is gonna come back in a big way, and it's gonna be deliciously painful, and I'm SO READY.

[shihalyfie]

Takeru’s character song “Focus”

I alluded to this in a prior post (and, to be a bit honest about it, was a little concerned about how it would be received), but I had some friends ask about what I meant about this, so I decided to go more into detail with it! This is also partially in light of the occasion of the Best Partner albums also becoming a topic of interest again, so it feels like a good time as ever!

02 was a pretty prolific time for merchandising and side material as far as the franchise goes, and one of the many things that came out of it was the “Best Partner” series of character song albums (a whole 36 songs for all 12 Adventure and 02 kids plus their partners!). Of these, Takeru’s song “Focus” has been a particular topic of interest for many in the fanbase to its suspiciously loaded language and the fact that, well...it comes off as a romantic song, which is very unusual in a series that infamously didn’t touch on the topic of romance very much in terms of the actual series. Speculation has constantly abounded on what it’s supposed to imply, why it’s written this way, and what it could possibly mean...

But if you look at it closely? It’s probably not meant to be romantic, and it most likely refers to Patamon.

One thing that I do need to point out is context. Many who have been cynical about the song’s alleged romantic implications have generally put forth the idea that the music department was technically separate from the anime staff, so it’s possible that the music staff wanted to bait or provoke fanservice without much connection from the anime production. It is, undoubtedly, true that the music department isn’t necessarily fully tied in with the anime department, and has been fully willing to indulge in questionably-canon silliness (while 02′s Christmas Fantasy is certainly in-character, its placement in actual canon timeline has to be finagled with because of what we know about 02′s actual Christmas, and Tamers’s Christmas Illusion is far more comedic than the series itself actually permits), and, exacerbating this further is the fact that Hikari has her own extremely romantically loaded song, Reflection, which is often submitted as evidence that Focus must be made in the same vein, but tends to omit the fact that the album it comes from (Girls Festival) needs to be taken with a very heavy grain of salt given that it’s a notorious fanservice album that deliberately plays up the “maiden-like” characteristics of all of the girls involved for the sake of, ah, a certain subsection of the audience. (It was also made in 2002, long after 02′s production had ended.)

The notable thing about the Best Partner albums is that all of the material on it is extremely in-character, and this is especially notable because the song lyrics are significantly more obviously relevant to each character in 02 and their relationship with their partner than even the original Adventure character songs were (with said Adventure character songs often toeing into rather vague glosses that are only tangentially relevant to each character, and Mimi’s song on there pretty blatantly being an AiM single shoved onto the album for the sake of being called a Mimi song). Moreover, Focus isn’t just written by some random lyricist they grabbed for it, but regular Digimon lyricist Yamada Hiroshi himself, who was very involved in the anime production in terms of writing 02′s inserts Break up! and Beat Hit!, and, considering everything this series is about, you’d imagine he’d probably have been given some kind of details about what to do with Takeru’s representative song. It would be quite strange if, for some reason, Takeru’s song were the only one to go really off the rails about shipping bait instead of being, well, actually about his character arc. 

I should emphasize that the fact that this song is so commonly read as romantic persists in Japan as well, so whether it was via mishap or not, undeniably, the way the lyrics are phrased definitely make the romantic reading a very reasonable one to pull. The language in the song is extremely “loaded”, and, if it weren’t for the unique circumstances I’m about to describe, most reasonable people can’t really be blamed for taking it this way. However, I will say that all of the most common English translations of various parts of the songs have tended to assume the romantic interpretation as well, and have thus followed up with it by definitively translating it in ways that make it near impossible to read otherwise. So what I’m saying here is that I don’t think it was unreasonable for people to have taken the romantic interpretation, and I don’t particularly intend to blame or criticize the translators who handled this song for also taking it this way, but I also want to make clear that this is not the only way to read the song, and that there’s a very high possibility that this wasn’t the case to begin with.

(Also, since I mentioned Yamada Hiroshi earlier: it’s actually not all that uncommon for him to use heavily-loaded language like this in songs he’s written for the series -- refer to Beat Hit! -- it’s just that people haven’t traditionally taken them as shipping because the context and identity of the songs’ topic matters were so obvious that there wasn’t much need to do speculation about it.)

Let’s take a look into all of the parts of the song that have been traditionally taken as romantic:

"We were together since we were little”

One thing that’s interesting about how this line is phrased in Japanese is that it doesn’t actually specify who was little. And, obviously, if you’re talking about a relationship between humans, you’d think that childhood friends would grow up together, so you’d default to “we”...but, actually, the Japanese text doesn’t rule out the possibility of reading this as “since I was little”. Which means that, yes, Patamon isn’t out of the ruling here -- because, indeed, they met when Takeru was young.

In fact, this actually is a line that arguably should rule out anyone else, especially including the most common speculated topic for this song, Hikari -- because he and Hikari weren’t actually that close during Adventure, and their time “together” was relatively short compared to the rest of the adventure. Remember that the Adventure kids weren’t very close to each other after the events of the series, and Hikari and Takeru didn’t keep close contact between Adventure and 02 -- contrast Patamon being close to Takeru during the entirety of the series, and, bar their periods of disconnect between Adventure and 02, you could say that he’s been the closest to Takeru since this time, especially since Yamato hadn’t been able to be as present for him as he’d wanted.

"Running, rolling around, and always laughing"

Again, this is a line that practically excludes nearly anyone else from consideration. Nobody ever did this with Takeru in Adventure but Patamon, especially since Takeru was trying to present himself as a well-behaved kid in the presence of his elders, and it’s entirely possible he wouldn’t have been willing to do this with anyone else but the outwardly childish Patamon. It definitely would not have been Hikari, who was arguably even more reserved than him during this time.

“It would have been better if I hadn’t realized”/“I have a lot of things I want to tell you, but I can’t really say it”/“I can’t ask that”

Sentiments like “I can’t admit it”, or difficulty with accepting one’s own feelings, is usually associated with developing romantic feelings for another person and being touchy about admitting them, but the thing is that this is intended to be a representative character song, and Takeru is actually abysmally bad at admitting anything in general. And yes, that includes not being able to be straightforward with Patamon himself about parsing his trauma over his death.

Takeru was never able to have a straightforward conversation with even Patamon about the whole issue, because of his nasty habit of never opening up about his problems and never being honest about them. That’s why Iori had to be the one to take matters into his own hands and go out of his way to understand Takeru, because Takeru sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to work through this on his own, or even with Patamon.

“I can’t get you off my mind”

This one’s actually a stock phrase in Japanese that can refer to “being interested” in someone (romantically), but can also refer to something just not really being able to leave your head in general (from being bothered by it, or being very worried). So yes, this could mean anything from a romantic fixation...to simply being constantly worried and concerned about one’s welfare.

“You were always crying”

As far as people around Takeru’s periphery who apparently cried a lot goes, there aren’t a lot! The description doesn’t seem to fit Hikari much, either (she had her moments, but it’s not the kind of thing you’d imagine this kind of extreme descriptor for). Hm, but there is someone who might fit that description...

Certainly, enough that Takeru would remember.

(By the way, Patamon gets sent on the verge of tears in the middle of his own solo song...)

"The door that I couldn't reach that day, no matter how far I stretched out"

Very important part here: that day. There was a very important “day” that seems to be on Takeru’s mind here. What’s repeatedly referred to in 02 as one of the most traumatic and impactful days of Takeru’s life?

Incidentally, Takeru and Patamon’s duet song for this album also just so happens to use “opening door” imagery...

“You’re now standing in the light”

That use of “light” is usually submitted as evidence that it’s referring to Hikari via a pun on her name, but, well, “light” does happen to just mean “light”, after all (and it’s used in many contexts that don’t necessarily have to refer to Hikari in 02 itself). And, well...

Pretty apt description there, no?

"We were always being protected"

It could refer to Hikari, or anyone else Takeru was with during Adventure, but remember that Patamon was always the slowest to evolve (especially given the many circumstances that happened with him in Adventure that kept him unable to actively join the fight effectively for a very, very long time), and Takeru himself also had a pretty nasty complex about holding everyone back.

So, in conclusion...

Despite how loaded the language is, in the end, it’s probably meant to be a song about Takeru handling his trauma regarding Patamon very poorly at the time of 02. Which is, well, what his character arc in 02 was about, so it tracks, doesn’t it?

Bear in mind that, again, this is basically “one readable interpretation of it”, which I also personally happen to back very strongly because I think the evidence simply tracks too much given context -- the details described in the song rule out almost every other candidate that would be relevant to Takeru’s character arc, also happen to describe the events of Adventure too well, and certainly would track much better with everything else in this particular album series mostly being relevant to everyone’s character as reflected in 02. Song lyrics are song lyrics, and interpretation might be in the eyes of the beholder...but, you know, food for thought.

[xwingsandohs]

Softly, Slowly | Poe Dameron

prompt: 44- tentative kisses in the dark

word count: 3k

a/n: first fic here! more incoming and i would love requests too <3 a first kiss fic

“C’mon!” Poe shouted out, making the group laugh. You’d decided to have a small ‘night off’, sitting around the cantina with a beer in hand.

There was always so much going on, so Poe had insisted you’d all ‘relax’ and shovel back some beers.

It was fun to relax, or to be as close to relaxed as you ever could be in the resistance. But the beer took the edge off, no matter how terrible it tasted, plus everyone around you seemed to be in a light enough mood for it to rub off on you- especially Poe.

“O-Okay then, Finn, what’s the first thing you’re gonna do when it’s all over?” Poe asked with a hazy smile, probably slightly more intoxicated than the rest of the table.

He’d almost definitely made it past the two beer recommendation, though you could be sure he’d still be able to jump in an x-wing in a minute if it was needed.

You all looked to Finn, wide eyes on his face at the question. “I don’t know! You think I know anything past this war?”

He laughed a little and shrugged, leaving you, Rey and a few others giving Poe a look, but you all laughed too. Bad example, Dameron.

“See! Nobody else has thought about it. What are you planning on doing then, Dameron?” Rey insisted, still chuckling, waiting for his reply as she took a swig of her beer.

She seemed to be knocking it back as easily as Poe did, but you’d ask her about that another time.

Poe had been clamouring about how everyone should have some big plan of what they’re gonna do as soon as the war is over. You all disagreed, maybe it was a pessimistic thing, like you weren’t sure you’d all survive the war.

Mostly for you, you didn’t have a clue what you’d do without the resistance. They were your family. You couldn’t imagine slipping off in an x-wing as soon as it was all finished.

“Easy.” He said with the biggest and cockiest smile, and you shook your head at him when he made eye contact with you. “I’m gonna give every single one of you the biggest kiss of your life.”

You all laughed and protested immediately, to which he shrugged and took another sip of his drink.

“That’s no big plan! That’s you finding an excuse to snog..” Rey nudged you when she saw you were busy eyeing Poe, narrowing your eyes at him playfully.

“Hey!” You called to Rey, turning to her immediately and lightly hitting her arm. “Don’t bring me into this! Just cause Poe can’t keep it in his pants.”

Poe’s eyes widened. “No way Jos-Rey. I don’t need an excuse to kiss anyone.” He smirked at himself, but you shook your head at him when he eventually turned to you.

There was nothing going on between you and Poe, but everyone was pretty convinced there was. You’d been the first person he met in the resistance and your best friend status was pretty much solidified, but anything more than that was up in the air.

You harboured a crush on him, not that you ever planned on acting on it. You didn’t even think about it most of the time, too busy fighting or hanging out with everyone.

Occasionally you’d catch a glimpse of him from some angle, or he’d have a particularly bright smile on his face, and then your feelings would pop up.

Sometimes he’d look at you, locking eyes, and you were sure the same thoughts you had ran through his mind. You were just too busy.

“What are you shaking your head at?” Poe asked, smiling at you playfully.

“You’re not going anywhere near my lips.” You shook your head at him again, holding back a smile when he gave you an offended look.

“What?! Am I not kissable enough for you?” He puckered his lips and you laughed again, shaking your head in response. “Finn?”

“Poe, as handsome as you are-” He cut him off before he could finish.

“There is only one person at this table I am letting shoot me down, and it’s not you, Finn.” Rey muttered an ‘Ouch’ with a laugh, and Finn started shaking his head and muttering something about his friend.

“Poe I’ve never kissed anyone, there’s no chance in hell that I’m gonna let you snog me on your way to snog Snap or Finn.” You gave him a playful warning look, but his face had completely dropped.

“What?-” “You’ve really never-”

“What?” You stopped your friends and laughed slightly awkwardly at their sudden protests. “I’ve been here since I was what, 17? I’ve been a bit busy.”

It didn’t seem like much in your mind, another thing you shrugged off because you had more important things to do. Clearly you were an alien amongst your friends.

You’d thought about kissing people before, the thoughts would come at least a few times a month. Maybe 10. And Poe was always there.

Relationships weren’t really much a big thing in the resistance, everyone being tired and busy most of the time.

The only time you ever really thought about it was when you were left to your own thoughts in your quarters, but the thoughts didn’t really last long.

You had a few childish fantasies, being swept off your feet and kissed after a battle had been won, or being kissed in the middle of the floor, dancing at the biggest party you’d ever seen- movie kisses, your own grand romance.

But you’d cut off those wayward dreams as soon as you could. You’d never kissed anyone, so what were you to imagine?

“And not once-” Poe started, watching you when your eyes looked a little lost. You didn’t really want to look at him. You were sure you were as red as you ever could be.

“Not really. I didn’t even really think about it… until now.” They were most definitely giving you disapproving looks, you decided. “Besides! Who knows where I’ll end up after this, I’ll meet a nice gal or guy. Someone to fill the empty void of Poe Dameron.” You added onto the end, trying to make the tone a bit lighter.

At that you looked at him finally, trying not to let the image of his face be burned into your mind, but it always was.

“Hey! You saying we’re not all gonna stay friends after this?” Finn voiced, unintentionally pulling himself closer to the table.

“Nah, we’ll be friends. Dameron’s not gonna get tied down by us.” Rey laughed, and looked at Finn with a light smile. Poe was definitely unpredictable. Maybe that was why you wouldn’t let yourself think of him.

“I get it, I get it. It’s attack Poe night! This is the thanks I get for buying you all beers.” He shook his head, drinking from his bottle again, letting his ease return.

“Hey, you bought the drinks, we never agreed we’d be nice.” Rey laughed again and you agreed with her, clinking drinks with her and Finn as Poe watched on in feigned misery. (He was just happy everyone was having a nice time.)

You got back to your quarters just over an hour later, deciding not to shower so you could have one to wake yourself up the next morning, ease any remaining alcoholic out your system.

You shared your quarters with Poe, bunked together since you were stuck in an older, smaller resistance camp. It didn’t bother you, mostly just having to move around each other quite awkwardly when you rushed around in the mornings.

“…Poe?” You called out into the darkness barely 10 minutes since you’d both laid down. You were up on the top bunk, laid on your stomach as one arm hung off the edge of your bed.

You suddenly felt unreasonably lonely, thoughts racking your brain far more suddenly and quickly than they usually did when you tried to sleep; Poe was the only voice you wanted to hear to fix it.

“Hm?” He hummed back, not yet groggy, but he was probably still a bit sleepy.

You felt bad to bother him, but one question hung at the back of your mind and you weren’t sure you’d sleep well if you didn’t ask.

“Do you think it’s um..” Okay now you regretted it, feeling awkward and childish. Too late. “Do you think it’s weird that I haven’t kissed anyone?”

The word ‘kissed’ felt so strange leaving your mouth, like an embarrassing word you’re not meant to say.

Mostly it felt so odd saying it to Poe, like it was meant to be said but it wasn’t at the same time. Saying it in the dark, knowing he laid in his bed below you felt like mistletoe hanging above a door.

He didn’t reply immediately, he was probably just thinking of a response, but you couldn’t help your mouth from running to fill the silence. You didn’t want your words to be left out in the open. “L-like should I have- I don’t know- just grabbed someone by the collar and-”

You felt his hand reach up and brush your own, lightly tugging on two of your fingers. You completely lost your train of thought (not that you were saying much of use) and hummed contentedly at the contact.

“You wanna talk, come down here.” He tugged lightly again, but moved to just brush his fingers against your own as you considered his response.

Then you got up, groaning slightly at the awkward movements from the bunk and trying to hide the slight shaking of your legs. It didn’t make sense for you to be anxious.

You stood above his bed slightly for a second, mostly trying to figure out where he was in the darkness. Then you slipped in next to him, pressed quite tightly against him thanks to the small bunk, but you looped a leg across him and moved into him slightly making the situation a bit comfier for you both.

You were sure he could feel the way you shook slightly as you moved.

It wasn’t the first time you’d laid in the same bed as him, you’d sleep next to each other after a bad mission if you needed the company, though sometimes you’d both have slightly poorer excuses- like the cold.

“Honestly?” He asked, and you hummed almost nervously in response. “A little. Not that I’m judging you just-” He paused for another second, thinking for the word. “I kind of just assumed you’d been there, y’know?”

You hummed again, moving closer to him when he’d leaned away from you slightly when he talked.

It was nearly pitch black, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tilt your head up at him. You weren’t sure if you were embarrassed or shy, the latter of which you’d never really associated with yourself.

Poe didn’t know what would happen after the war was over, of course he didn’t. In his mind all he saw was you and him, god knows where, basking in whatever sun- just happy. He just saw you.

He imagined him kissing you everywhere he could, you giggling and pushing him away because you were out in the open, but neither of you really caring.

He’d never thought of how he’d get there or what could happen. Typical of him, really. All his strange dreams felt stupid now. He couldn’t see past himself.

“Can I um-” He paused again. He didn’t know what to say. “Do you think about it? Like, at all.”

“Y-yeah, I think so.” Your voice was much smaller than normal, and you could feel yourself hiding your face from him.

You couldn’t bear the thought of divulging everything you thought of him, not right now anyway. And you knew he was trying to make you out in the darkness.

“After a mission, when I’m tired, that’s when I think about it. It’s um, it’s silly to think about something you’ve never done.”

“No it isn’t.” He replied softly and knowingly, his hand gently running across your back as you both speak. His voice was just as small as yours.

“Isn’t it?” You asked unassuredly, breathing out a small sigh. Maker, you wish you knew what he was thinking. Sometimes you thought you knew everything Poe was thinking, other times you weren’t as sure.

It wasn’t a bad thing, you liked his unpredictable qualities, but other times- like this time- you’d do anything just to know what he did. “I thought about it with you.”

You let that hang in the air, just for a minute, unsure where you wanted to go with it. Maybe you just wanted him to know.

But he did, he most definitely did, and his hand tracing on your back didn’t even pause. “N-not some quick victory kiss after battle, just-” You couldn’t say it. “Well, you know.”

Your body went rigid against him for a second, suddenly struck by the weight of what you had said. But no, you corrected yourself, you wanted him to know more than anything on the cosmos.

It was a weight off you, and you let out the breath you were holding. And then you felt him hold you tighter.

His hand moved up to your hair, stroking it for a few times before you felt him move forward, placing a small kiss near your temple. He’d probably done that a million times over, but not so soft, and definitely not after some terrible confession of feelings.

He didn’t say anything. Poe wasn’t entirely sure he could say anything, because he felt too many things and couldn’t find the words to match them. But the kiss seemed to tell you everything you needed to know.

“Not what I meant.” You whispered, smiling against him. You couldn’t help your hand clutching tightly on his shirt for a second, too scared to hold him any closer to you.

But you were strangely happy, a sense of comfort you weren’t sure you’d ever felt before. Everything about the moment just felt right.

“Can I kiss you properly?” He asked you in a small voice, and this time you tilted your head up to him. You wanted to see his face when he asked you that, you could almost make out his face in the shadows.

It was close to the face you imagined when you thought about kissing him, so unreasonably warm and loving, but somehow you couldn’t have imagined the softness on his features.

“Are you gonna be a gentleman about it?” You asked, raked with nerves, your voice showed that plainly. But it was still a yes, and you wanted it so, so badly. He felt you clutch tighter to him nonetheless.

“I promise.” He spoken a whisper, his hand already stroking your cheeks a few times. The contact was unfamiliar, but you reached your own hand up to his face and mirrored the action- letting it run across his cheek and jaw, just as you always wanted to.

He was perfect.

“Okay then.” You moved your body up closer, letting your cheek rest against his hand for a few seconds as you searched each other’s faces.

His eyes were gorgeous, even in the shadowed darkness, you were sure you were looking at him with the most love-blown eyes, and that was exactly what you saw back.

And then he gently pulled his face closer, your eyes closed far sooner than his did, and he tried to memorize your face as he pushed his lips against yours.

It was a light peck, and he pulled away for a second after. Looking to you for any kind of protest before he moved in and kissed you again.

A proper kiss this time, letting his lips move against yours for a few seconds until you realized the rhythm and reciprocated. It felt perfect, pressed against your best friend in a more intimate way than ever- but it was so soft and lovely, you wanted it forever.

(Best friend didn’t feel like the right word anymore, but you were too enamoured by him to think of anything better.)

Your hand against his cheek held him just a little bit tighter, reveling in the feeling of him against you.

You couldn’t help a soft noise you made, barely a moan at the lightness and quietness of it- but Poe couldn’t help himself, pressing even further into you, his chest flush against your own and his hand running across your cheek and into your hair.

He could stay like that forever, kissing you in every way he’d ever thought of. Your cheek, your lips, your neck- he’d kiss you for hours on end if you’d let him. And maybe you finally would.

You remained like that for just a second longer until Poe moved away, and you both had to take a deep breath. You smiled at him again, keeping your hand still on the back of his neck just to keep him close.

You moved a hand to trace across his eyebrow, watching your thumb brush against him as his eyes stayed fixated on yours. He couldn’t form any thought, the feeling of your lips against his fogging up his mind.

Your eyes drifted back to his, catching his smitten look, and you had to hope the redness of your face wouldn’t be visible in the low light.

“I’m sorry I’m not a good kisser.” You said awkwardly, still stunned and with nothing else to say. You wanted to kiss him again.

“We’ll practice.” He smiled again, letting his hand run through your hair then giving you a soft kiss on the cheek.

[scamoosh]

talk about komaeda!!!

anon i am holding ur hand so tenderly and blowing u a little kiss....

going 2 ramble 🏃

i am thinking abt komaeda 24/7 but he has been on my mind sm recently i love that guy😔i am just going 2 ramble abt some of my thoughts and hcs 4 him bc i need 2 type too much abt fictional guys or ill die

-he is BIPOLAR!!!!! yes this is partially me projecting but he isssssss not only in the like . stereotypical mood swingy way that ppl like to point to but in the way that he has trouble gauging the severity of situations and reacting appropriately.,,, like not only reacting strongly but like. not being able to moderate his reaction even when he knows its unreasonable. and putting extremely high expectations on himself and others bc if everything isnt Very Good its Very Bad and feeling like even one failure to meet one expectation cancels out any good done by any other successes.,,,, idk. i feel like a lot of the ways i experience my own bipolar-ness can b pointed out in how komaeda thinks and acts and that is kind of comforting idk. bc his thought processes feel so obvious to me even tho i can recognize where theyre flawed and wrong idk. like one of the biggest things 4 me is feeling guilty bc u know a lot of the time when u get upset abt things u Know ur overreacting bc ur bipolar so when things Actually genuinely rightfully upset u its rlly hard to allow urself to feel upset without feeling guilty or worrying that its unwarranted and just a symptom . and like . thats komaeda too he feels so extremely but either feels excessively justified in it when hes riding the high or insisting that he never has any right to act according to his own feelings oughhgh. oh komaeda we're rlly in it now

-hes nonbinary :))) yes i am projecting again but i also must stay true to my theory that every danganronpa protag is trans and bi and every dr antagonist is nonbinary and gay <33 um. he feels a disconnect to (and occasionally a disgust for) his body. not 2 say that all trans ppl are unhappy w their bodies but idk komaeda has a very specific way of shifting between 'this is what i am and it is what it is' and like 'this is atrocious sorry 4 everyone who has 2 look at me' and that specific back n forth is smth that i personally can relate to? also i like when ppl draw him w lots of cute little accessories bc i think he would like little things like that w/out being concerned w the fact that ppl might associate them w femininity. plus w his whole complex abt junko and his obsession w her u know for sure he has an appreciation (even if for the wrong reasons) for femme culture <333 also i think he and mikan do each others nails sometimes :) and it takes like 4 hours bc theyre both nervous and clumsy as shit

-ok going back 2 the mental illness thing he also makes me rlly sad bc has moments of like . total self awareness and is like damn it sucks that i feel so unstable and act like that towards other people and deep down i wish i could change i want to be good i want to be loved but like . that doesnt change the fact that it happens again idk. his behaviors feel very cyclical which feels v real idk. farquad pointing meme MENTALLY ILL!

-ok wait typing that also made methink abt how in his final little hangout event convo he confesses that hes always wanted to be loved and that hurts my feelings so bad man. like that is the culmination of getting to know him is him confessing that he wants to mean something to someone else even tho he is 100% certain he doesnt deserve it and so should never Get it oughhhhhh. the overwhelming guilt that comes w being treated well is so real.

guys i love komaeda. this is so unorganized and dumb i just care him

[noctis-noctua]

I, Kaeya Alberich, Take Thee

Pairing: Kaeya x Fem. Reader

Count: 1976

Description: Kaeya knows that be does not deserve anything he desires. There is nothing he can do to make you his, but so badly does he wish there was.

Content: Unrequited love, angst, bittersweet ending, marriage.

Warnings: Slight spoiler for Kaeya's backstory but an addition of (non-canon!) Prince Kaeya.

In another universe, maybe I am not cursed so by the Gods. Kaeya resists the urge to nibble on the tail-end of his quill. It was unbecoming for a man of his stature to succumb to unsanitary habits. Plus, this particular pen hailed from a crow’s feather, hunted by the hands of a childhood friend. The intricate quill had not been put to use for a substantial amount of time, but it fits into Kaeya’s hand as if it came to shape its spine based on the curvature of his own grasp. He could get used to signing off documents and organizing civil affairs if it meant succumbing to such mundane sensations. The morning sun dripping onto his mahogany desks and floors, a faint scratch of keratin against ivory paper filling the empty space… It has been a long time since he’s made the decision to take over petty bureau duties. Today is a special day. Kaeya needs to focus on the satisfying echoes of paper and pen, on the sunlight heating his back, or he might just go insane.

    The clamor of bells tugs Kaeya from his mechanical performance. Each ring is a song of desperation, a performance begging for his attention. Come out and celebrate! Indulge in the pain. He is not a man that falls prey to anger, but he cannot help that frustrated itch in his stomach as he hears the iron reverberating. Please just be quiet, Kaeya thinks. Let me forget. The hesitant croak of his door alerts Kaeya to the presence of the Acting Grand Master. She dons an outfit unique from her usual uniform - a cream-colored dress, embroidered by floral lace, a single azure ribbon tying at the waist. So even the straight-edged Jean has taken time off today? 

    “Kaeya, you can’t make these excuses forever.” He knows from how Jean closes the door with unperturbed silence that this is not a conversation regarding hilichurl nests or Fatui diplomats. He can tell from the way Jean drops the mature title of ‘Sir’ in favor of his childhood nickname, that it is a conversation Jean feels must be approached with gentleness as if Kaeya is a stray cat that claws at feeding hands. The Grand Master releases a heaved exhale because both of them dread this discussion as much as the other. There is an inherent wrong in seeing Kaeya distressed. He may not be shedding tears in solitude or resigning himself to the dormitories, but he is hiding, and that is enough for Jean to observe that he is not functioning as normal.

    “Please, come for a little while. I know it’s not… something you want to see, but he’s your brother. Offer a small congratulations at the least.” Her heels tap on the polished hardwood.

    “I was planning on coming by later this evening.  Tell them I’m sorry for not being able to attend the main event. How could I? Just look at all this paperwork.” Kaeya’s signature chuckle follows, putting up a front of careless flirtation. It is not uncommon for Jean to rope the Cavalry Captain into his desk chair. Lord knows he’d never do it otherwise… yet now he claims servitude to the dulling labor. How ironic. 

    “I’ll tell them of your apologies… but both of us know that paperwork isn’t the reason you can’t make it.” Jean turns around, blonde hair trailing in the breeze left behind before Kaeya can quip up a rebuttal. She’s right. Jean is always right. The papers piling on his desk are from the drawers of his subordinates, filed away to be completed in another five months' time. There is no reason they had to be done today. He is hiding. He is a coward and a pathetic one at that. The thought alone provokes Kaeya to tug on his studded gloves and push out his chair. His sights are set on leaving because to be seen as a frail child is to fail at the sole thing he succeeds at. Being the chivalrous Cavalry Captain renowned for his beauty and failsafe charm is the one thing he cannot lose because he cannot let Mondstadt see how fragile he is behind the visage. 

    Mondstadt’s avenues are bustling. Oak tables identical to the ones across local taverns have been dressed in linen tablecloths and topped with miniature feasts. Children run between tables, tugging at each other’s shirts in a feisty game of tag as festive music tempts the adults to a dance. The tell-tale strums of Mondstadt’s No. 1 Bard’s lyre lead the crowds to the statue of Barbatos. Behind it, trails of petals line the paths leading to the limestone Cathedral. Couples, singles, and families alike make haste to enter through the carved doors. No one wants to miss this. Kaeya tugs on the collar of his fur coat, gazing at the entry before him. He can hear the music of an organ, romantic and rich, ricocheting from inside. 

    He steps into the Cathedral. The ceremony has yet to start and the pews continue to fill. Citizens scoot as close as possible to allow for more onlookers to take a seat. He finds a spot next to Huffman and a few other Knights, squished on the outer edge. It is three benches from the front. Too close for Kaeya to be comfortable. The croaking benches have long since met their capacity by now. Not a soul is missing, Kaeya reckons. Diluc Ragnvindr, the wine Tycoon, Mondstadt’s famous magnate, is marrying after all. It is no small occasion. Diluc’s brazen hair is a torch amidst fog, its perk hue garnering the eyes of all in the Cathedral. He is dressed in a suave black suit. It boasts minuscule gold embellishments followed by a hefty crimson cape draped on his shoulders. Even dressed in the furs and fabrics of royalty, one could sense a distinct awkwardness from him. If you’re going to marry her, at least look confident, brother. 

    It hurts. He cannot lie to himself - not that Kaeya was trying to in the first place. There is a pain associated with seeing the woman he loves marrying the brother that no longer desires to even speak to him. Now, Kaeya regrets standing up from his busy work. These thoughts won’t stop their festering, and it punches a hole through his stomach. Kaeya is all-too-aware that tonight, you will climb into Diluc’s sheets. He’d treat you kindly, of course. He grew up with Diluc and has seen his rigorous nobility tutors shape him into the gentleman he is today. There is no doubt that you will live a lavish life of luxury. A life Kaeya could never afford to give you. 

    In Khaenri’ah, Kaeya’s title of ‘Prince’ holds as much merit as it does in Teyvat. His people are dead or suffering. His city has crumbled into dust and shards of a forgotten legacy. Kaeya himself serves one purpose, and that is to bring glory back to the Eclipse Dynasty. It is in these times that Kaeya regrets being born royalty to a lost nation. In the solace of his chambers, Kaeya would stare at the painted ceiling and ponder. If I were born someone else entirely, would you give me a chance? But who is he kidding? Kaeya knows he’s handsome. It’s stupid and unreasonable to be so self-deprecating. He isn’t the one marrying you because he wasn’t Diluc Ragnvindr. He wasn’t from a line of Mondstadtian heroes; he was from the ashes of sinners and embers of civilization. He was Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius, caught between familial loyalty and a stinging betrayal. Of course he wasn’t marrying you. 

    The Cathedral doors groan as the nuns heave them open. Light floods in and frames the feminine body of the lady of Mondstadt. In your hands, a bouquet of calla lilies. On your body, a silken robe of pearls and diamonds. It flows at your back, fluttering in the blessed gales of Barbatos’. Kaeya swore that as a Khaenri’ahn, he would never see the Gates of Celestia. But this… this, he thinks, might be the closest glimpse he gets. No one dares to speak. She is beautiful. She has always been beautiful. Time slows as Kaeya lets himself take in the sight of you pledging your livelihood to his brother, and his brother’s livelihood to you. 

     Then, as if he is an innocent child once again, Kaeya closes his eyes as you two kiss. Clapping and cheers fill the atmosphere. 

    “To the Ragnvindr’s! Oley!”

    “Say, Kaeya, do you ever wanna get married?” The girl questions from Kaeya’s backside. 

    “Maybe. Then I can show off in front of my lovely wife! That would be cool, wouldn’t it, Diluc?” Kaeya jests, elbowing his step-brother’s chest. Diluc rolls his eyes, ever the prodigy. 

    “We’re still young. There’s no use thinking about such things. Shouldn’t you focus on training?” He grumbles. Kaeya knows that he will never have a lucky wife. He will never have a healthy family, or a thriving home, or a genuine relationship. Those are nothing more than dreams to Kaeya.

    The girl grabs Kaeya’s arm and begins running into the fields of grapes and firs. There is a childlike giggle dispersing for all in the neighborhood to hear, fading out as they lose sight of the manor. Reaching the edge of the cliffside, they halt. It overlooks a sapphire river below, fit for one of Master Crepus’ paintings. Diluc had been abandoned long ago. 

    “Hey, Kaeya, the water kind of looks like your hair.” The girl remarks, nuzzling closer to him. He feels his heart thrashing in its cage, begging him not to react, begging him not to ruin the fate of his country. To the girl, he smells of linen, lampgrass, and sweat, much as a kid his age should. Silence settles onto their shoulders, both of them catching breaths that had been stolen in the wind. “I didn’t ask before because I thought Diluc would get mad, but… Kaeya, how about we get married when we grow up?” How silly, Kaeya thinks. I couldn’t marry you if I wanted to. 

    “Hmm, okay. So you’ll be my lucky wife then?” Kaeya plummets down onto the grass and grins. It tickles the back of his neck and stains his blouse a verdant green. He dreams of dreaming, because that is all Khaenri’ahns like him can do. He dreams of coming home to your embrace or trudging back from battle hand-in-hand. Either one is okay. Anything with you is okay. 

    “Of course, stupid. That’s what marriage is. So you’ll be my lucky husband!” Lucky husband. It fills his heart with an immature pride too chaste for a traitor of his caliber. 

    “Deal!” 

    “Deal.” 

    They are naive children making impossible promises, but a part of Kaeya has never unlatched from those delicate whispers. Khaenri’ahns dream of dreaming, but just this once, Kaeya wished he could dream of you.

    “So, Sir Kaeya, are you going to marry soon? Youth is fleeting! Get a wife while you’re young.” One of the Knights suggests, sliding him a suggestive beam. Kaeya let’s himself open his eyes. He processes the blinding light from colored panes of glass spilling over him, the jovial expressions of the citizens he has sworn to protect, and you grasping onto Diluc’s arm, a longing of adoration phasing across your features. Happy. You are happy. He turns towards the knight, cracking a smile.

    “Don’t be silly - I’m already married, Huffman.” He lets the novice soldier ogle at him for a few seconds. “I’m joking. Lighten up.” Huffman releases a hearty chortle, commenting on his Captain’s sense of humor and putting a hand to his chest. He laughs along, but Kaeya knows there is no joke. 

Don’t be silly. I’m already married. It was a deal, after all.

[itsclydebitches]

I’m still curious if Clover ever frustrated you. You didn’t answer that. He never angered me. Clover was a supportive friend, and while he (UNDERSTANDABLY) didn’t toss out a superior’s order, he was clearly giving Qrow more leeway then other criminals, and I don’t doubt he would’ve taken him to Ironwood. RT, I’m pretty sure this is writing 101, but maybe don’t have the bad guy be the one trying to negotiate their way out of a fight while the hero is like “Nah, fuck you”.

No, Clover never frustrated me. I can understand why many weren’t a big fan of him  — he’s very much the confident edging on cocky stereotype  — but my personal feelings always ranged from, “I’m neutral” to “It’s nice for Qrow to have a friend and I’ve got nothing against the ship, even if I’m an Ozqrow fan.” I’ve strongly defended Clover’s actions on the airship. To my mind he acted appropriately given the level of information he had  — as you say, he was given an order by a superior, an order that was by no means unreasonable or dangerous to Qrow  — despite this, he was still giving Qrow a certain amount of leeway given their friendship  — compare him begging Qrow to come with him vs. him instantly taking him out at the beginning of Volume 7 — Robyn is the one who shot first, Qrow is the one who willingly joined her, and from then on out Clover was defending himself. And then he was murdered. The visceral reaction to “just following orders” stems from our real world knowledge of how people can easily succumb to heinous acts when they’re blindly following an authority figure, but Clover had no reason to think this act was heinous, because it wasn’t. The visceral reaction to him fighting Qrow instead of going after Tyrian stems from a meta-knowledge of the text. We know Qrow is the hero and that he’d never hurt Clover... but Clover doesn’t know that. They’ve been friends, what? A few weeks? Maybe a few months? Regardless, Qrow just helped Robyn attack him. Robyn just agreed with Tyrian that they had to take Clover out. Qrow just refused to come in even though that would get Robyn medical assistance more quickly. To say nothing of the suspicious  — but incomplete  — information Clover has on hand: something bad has happened back at the office, Salem is on her way, she’s had agents in the city this whole time, and Ironwood wants Qrow’s entire group arrested for some reason. From Clover’s POV that looks so bad. As far as Clover knows he has two enemies in this fight, Qrow and Tyrian. The fact that we then watched Qrow willingly team up with Tyrian  —  justifying those concerns — resulting in Clover’s death, only for Qrow to later blame Clover and Ironwood for everything, and many fans still don’t question this shows how powerful the “These are the Good Guys and these are the Bad Guys” assumptions go. Nothing the characters actually do on screen breaks that neat divide. 

At the beginning of Volume 7 I was suspicious of both Ironwood and the Ace Ops. Given that initial, dictator-y coding, I thought there was a good chance that he was lying to the group. This plan was BS. His kindness was just a way to lure them into a false sense of security. The friendships developed with the Ace Ops were just a mask. And then... none of that was true. Ironwood’s open, trusting, grateful nature was 100% real and the compassion the Ace Ops extended to the group  — claims of “We’re not friends” aside  — was likewise real, it’s indeed frustrating that the story has so thoroughly tried to erase that for a simplistic, “Military people are bad” message. Clover is a part of that. He was a good man who did nothing our heroes didn’t also do: pushing for Amity, keeping the Salem secret, etc. He was told by Ironwood to arrest Qrow and, having no reason to toss aside years of trust, especially when the implication was he’d just take Qrow to talk things out, he agreed. Qrow is the one who chose violence, chose Tyrian, and Clover was murdered. Then Qrow sits in a jail cell and blames the victim for his death, plus Ironwood for his own idiotic decisions. By the time he’s out, characters are actively rewriting Volume 7, with Robyn claiming Clover was a bad huntsmen and Harriet and Vine saying that he’d definitely have dropped a bomb on a bunch of innocent people. After all, wouldn’t anyone associated with Ironwood? 

RT wasn’t able to write characters doing actual bad things and they likewise weren’t willing to end on a morally gray note. So when Ironwood went evil and they wanted all his subordinates to be simplistically evil too, Clover  — the only one dead and unable to be hastily “redeemed” like Harriet  — is said conclusively to be someone we never saw on screen: the awful huntsmen who’d have killed thousands and was responsible for his own death. 

[evakuality]

Mia, episode eight

1.  I know I’m just a grumpy oldish person and all, but ugh.  This whole ‘walking into school and holding hands while everyone gapes as if it’s amazing’ thing seems so stupid.  I work in a school, and maybe it’s different in Germany but this sort of thing just doesn’t seem to happen.  People just turn up together and it’s part of life (and also they break up again in 5 minutes so Plus, I’m annoyed that I was right and that Kiki seems to be 100% entirely okay with Mia and Alex now.  Her entire story appeared to be that she felt like she wasn’t good enough for Alex and so the whole eating/exercise thing was tied into that.  But now a) she’s totally ok with this whole Mia and Alex thing and b) getting together with Carlos has fixed all of her issues? I’m not sure I like the message we’re getting here.

2.  Oh, skateboarding and Alex of course gets all hyper aggressive.  I mean, obviously this is from the og and so a lot of the fault lies there.  But honestly I cannot stand these types of guys who think they need to act like this.  I don’t get why he can’t just say ‘he’s bad in this way...’ rather than totally blowing up at Mia and effectively accusing her of being an asshole by association (I mean, after last episode I think she is kind of an asshole - but that’s by association with Alex not this Bjorn guy).  William blaming Noora for all the problems in Skam was an issue and it’s not better here.  What’s the reason for attacking the guy with the board?  We have no idea and he seems super unreasonable.  I know that’s the point, but it’s not a good plot line and I don’t see why we had to keep all the really shitty stuff from the og.  And tbh, while I usually like Alex’s acting, here I don’t find him convincing at all.  He actually doesn’t look worked up enough yo go after the guy, and afterwards there’s nothing, no hint that he might feel like he went too far.

3.  I do like this opening on the next clip with Mia clearly stewing in the things she saw and conflicted about it all.  It’s these little quiet moments that really make for a good interaction with our characters imo, and I’m always a little sad that we get so few of them with Mia.  It was one of the things that I found best with Hanna, Matteo and Amira - these moments sitting with them in quiet and solitude where you get to see them unguarded.  It almost feels unnecessary to have this little chat with Linn and Hans’s guy because we clearly see what’s going on with Mia even without the dialogue.

4.  Interesting.  The last thing we’re asked in the previous clip is ‘what about this guy now’ but here we are and Mia is only concerned with Alex?  I genuinely don’t care about him (partly because ugh this character is not one I like anyway and so I have very little sympathy for him when he harms someone else), and I would actually like to know how the guy he hit is.  Now, again, I know this is coming through from the og and I know Bjorn is therefore really shitty but at this point the characters don’t know that and so I’d expect to see a little more interest and concern for him.  I’m sure that on the day, this was probably very poignant for viewers.  It’s Valentine’s day after all.  But the lack of any resolution of Alex being violent means I don’t actually care here.  Mia would be better off without an asshole. violent boyfriend, and as shitty as it would be to be alone like this on Valentine’s, she’d still be better off.  Plus, she could easily go hang with her friends.  Speaking of which, this thing with Jonas and Hanna is weird.  As if he has any claim on her now that they broke up?????  I’m starting to revise my opinion of them getting back together - this isn’t healthy behaviour from him at all and I don’t like what he’s doing here.  

5.  Interesting choice to have Bjorn telling Mia about Alex’s sister (I only watched the og once but from memory it wasn’t his counterpart who told Noora?  I think?), but this ‘Alex has told you something different - that figures’ is such a weird take.  Because yeah we KNOW Alex has been keeping stuff from Mia.  We saw that last episode and we were made very aware of it in the ‘spin the bottle’ scene among others, so making this like a big reveal and making it as if Bjorn is being a manipulative dick here is odd.  Like, it’s the truth?  Alex has been keeping stuff from Mia.  This show has spent a lot of time trying to make some moments real ‘gotchas’ for Mia, when actually they’re just genuinely telling us the truth about the character.  Alex does have this side, he always had it and he hasn’t really changed at all.  

6.  The use of this really annoying buzzing, whining noise is good though.  It works really well to put us in a space where Mia is out of sorts and finding it all overwhelming.  Alongside the brightness of the light, we do get a sense of dissociation, and the harsh glare of the light even after the moment is over really shines on how harsh this news is for her.  For most of the last 2 episodes we’ve seen Mia is softer, muted lighting so this is new and different and it really does play up the change that’s happening here.  ‘I got to know a different Alex’ - yeah, except she didn’t really.  Or we never got to ‘meet’ him alongside her.  It was told in montage and it wasn’t enough for me.  And the bits we did see of him being vulnerable also came with clearly hidden parts, and so this idea that she knows ‘the real Alex’ falls flat because (like I said a thousand times last episode) pacing was so off and things happened so fast that I don’t believe any of it.  Because we never really got to see anything very ‘real’ from him.  

7.  I’m also not sure why she’s believing this guy that her boyfriend clearly told her is an asshole.  Okay so Alex isn’t very available rn, but there are surely other people she could talk to.  Even if he hasn’t been the greatest, Sam for example is at least someone she knows.  This Bjorn guy is a dick, but unlike in the og when Noora went to William’s place and sort of fell into the issue, here Mia has chosen to go see him.  She’s deliberately put herself in his way.  And also, she’s literally being told that Alex kept stuff from her and held stuff back to manipulate her.  Why on earth does she just take this guy’s stuff at face value?  I know it’s supposed to be a whole ‘woah - falling for the thing he’s warning her of while he warns her’ moment for the audience, but it doesn’t work for me.  This guy isn’t charming or believable enough for her to not even consider going deeper into this.  But it’s an interesting call back to Mia’s phone call with her parents and how rigid they were, so you can sort of see why this part resonates for her.  Even so, dismissing Alex’s attempt to see her because of this is a choice.  Make it make sense!  It made very little sense with Noora and even less with Mia.

8.  One thing I really dislike about this Niko/Bjorn character is how cartoonishly evil they are.  Where’s the motivation for this guy to say all this to Mia?  He saw her exactly twice, barely knows how she’s related to Alex, and yet he decides when she comes to visit him that he should manipulate her?  The biggest flaw in the William/Alex story imo is the way they can only make him seem ‘good’ in comparison to a literal villain who has no depth.  Or I mean I guess we have 2 episodes to give this guy more depth but somehow I doubt it’s going to happen.  Everyone I’ve read talking about this has said this guy is worse than Niko, so I expect him to remain this weird cartoon with no reasonable motivation for any of this.

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

Web!Martin.... Oh boy. Gonna shake the hornet’s nest with this one, but I’ve spent like three days on this editing and re-editing, and I’m finally satisfied with my kind of an essay at this point. 

So, here’s a deep dive as to why I think Web!Martin has merits. (Scroll to the bottom of my essay for my TLDR). 

Introduction

First, to get some stuff out of the way:

Do I think Martin is a sleeper agent? Do I think that he has been manipulating Jon this entire time or even in just season 5 for the games of the Web? Do I think he's a bunch of spiders in a Martin suit? Do I think he's regards the Mother as his Mother and accepts that he is her Son? Is Martn actively Webby? 

No. Absolutely not. None of the above. The Martin we know is the Martin we began with, just with a bunch of trauma and has gained the ability to set his boundaries.

I find the idea of sleeper agent Martin or something similar to be very counterintuitive to the overall narrative. Not only is TMA about choices, and to have Martin be a sleeper agent would be to deny all of Martin's choices this season in particular, but it doesn't really lead to much. At best it's a gotcha and a surprise at worst it's making literally every interaction between Jon and Martin, with Martin himself, and so on mean nothing for the sake of one twist and make it sad. It's not fun in long term, and so at the end of the day, I trust Jonny and Alex as writers more than that. (Plus we already did the "person is replaced" thing).

Does Martin being a manipulator actively mean that he is a Web avatar?

Short answer, no. 

Long answer, I made a post awhile back, and while it was for fandom things, I think it applies well here. What power you choose to align yourself with isn’t necessarily something you’d fully commit to. It is just, if you were an avatar and willing to hurt others for your own gain, what would you find yourself most aligned with.  What I mean by that, just because Martin lies and manipulates doesn’t mean that he is Web, however, manipulation is a tool does fit well with the Web, and if he were to choose to align himself to that, I think he could be Webby. However, he is not necessarily a Web avatar because he has no motivation to hurt people. 

That being said I do think Martin would be a good fit for the Web if he wanted to be, and I think there will be a point in the narrative that there is a potential that he could become one, even if he does not necessarily choose to be in the end. 

Let’s talk about it.

Evidence

I think the best way to describe Web!Martin on my end is this: if Martin had an inclination to be an avatar, he would be the Web because everything from his aesthetics to his skillsets line up with the Web, but he does not have any reason to be Webby and in fact, at the very least as of MAG169, should actively be against the Web’s goals. 

But that doesn’t mean his connection to the Web hasn’t been heavily foreshadowed or built up. Not all of these are of the same level, I admit that, so I’m just gonna bold the ones that are the most important.  These aren’t in any particular order. 

-For season 1 subtext, said he liked spiders In This First Appearance MAG22, in MAG38 Jon says that Martin gives them lectures on the importance of spiders for the environment, and MAG39, “it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too.” 

-IN MAG79, his poem has a line in it that goes, “"the threads of people walking, living, loving" which is very Web-like. 

-During the Web statement he read in season 3, he said “that wasn’t so bad, actually!” (MAG110) when he finished after showing open disdain for the others he read. The only other statement he didn’t think was bad to read was the Lonely one (MAG108), a power he canonical has ties to. 

-The only person in the show so far of the main cast that has had direct contact with Annabelle Cane. The only other people that have had contact with her are her victims (Creature Feature, MAG110) or her people she used as tools (Web Development, MAG123). 

-Let himself be guided to put the tapes on top of the coffin when the tapes, which have shown a direct association with both the Web and the Eye. 

- Martin’s “lo-fi charm” and “retro-aesthetic” (various) versus Annabelle “She dressed like a vintage clothing store exploded on her” (MAG69)

-Uses lying and manipulation as his main tactic against people and is acknowledged that manipulation is a skillset of his. By Jonah mostly, but he was able to successfully manipulate both Peter and Jonah. 

-In MAG117, he said "I’m not afraid for me, though. Isn’t that weird? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be safe, like my plan’s not dangerous, but it’s, it’s mine. This last couple of years, I’ve always been running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but, but now it’s my trap, and, well, I think it’ll work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good weaving my own little web." and he then added after it with "oh good lord is Martin becoming some sort of spider person', no, Jon, just an expression.” 

-Martin having a bad relationship with his mother versus Mother of Puppets.

-The Web and the Desolation actively dislike one another (MAG139), and fire is Martin’s most hated pain (MAG169). 

-Martin is the primary investigator in Recluse (MAG59), Arachnophobia (MAG16), and was the one to find and give the Cracked Foundation (MAG114) to Jon. All of which are Web statements. 

-The delivery of the table and the lighter were technically both given to Martin since he was the one who talked to Breekon and Hope. 

-Martin was the first one to mention the Web lighter in season 5 in MAG162. 

What Does This Mean

Now I will admit none of these things on their own mean Web!Martin. They’re something you might describe a Web!avatar yes, but not Martin on his own (like I said just because Martin can be a manipulator doesn’t mean he is a Web avatar).

In fact, with elements like Martin finding fire his least favorite pain, I adore the meta on Martin’s trauma about giving himself up for other people led to him disliking fire and the lack of care from his mother, also leading to that. It is an excellent metaphor that fits incredibly well with his character. That being said, these factors can coexist. Martin disliking fire can both be a metaphor for his own self-destruction for the sake of others and be hints toward Web!Martin. 

HOWEVER, that all being said, even if these moments on their own don’t mean Web!Martin proof, I find it a bit unreasonable to entirely dismiss all of this either. There are too many coincidences lining up with the Web to not be intentional. It could be a red herring of course, but if it is a red herring.....well, Jonny put a hella of a lot of effort into making the Web!Martin red herring considering how much of his little details align so well with the small and big details of the Web. 

But assuming that this info does align together in all its Webiness... does this mean Web!Martin? 

Again, at the moment, I don’t think Martin is actively Webby. 

At his heart, Martin wants to do two things: 1) Protect Jon and 2) Protect as many other innocents he can in the process. 

As ironic as it is: "I want to find out what's going on. I want to save Jon. I want everyone to be fine and, you know what? If we were all happy that wouldn't actually be the end of the world” and “I want them to be safe. I need him to be okay” are basically the sum of Martin’s motivations from here to now. Martin wants a happy ending. And he’ll use whatever tools he can to do that. 

So asking questions from dangerous people like Simon Fairchild? For the protection of the world from what he thought was from the Extinction.

Burning up statements and burning up the cabin? The Desolation would like that, if it wasn’t for the fact he does so to decrease the fear in the world. 

And manipulating others? Peter? Jonah? Both of these weren’t to cause fear. They were at their heart to help others. 

Using the tools that the powers use does not mean you’re of that power. Martin’s most effective tool is to manipulate others bc they underestimate him or they trust him to do what needs to be done. People tend to have a single view of him. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other tactics, but with both Peter and Elias, it’s clear he knows how to use others’ egos against them. 

Season 5 and Web!Martin

This ALL being said...... Season 5 is a lot about the nature of power (what to do with it and what it means to use it) and what you can do in inherently toxic systems. We just learned that killing its leaders does nothing when the system itself is built to actively hurt others. That smiting doesn’t actively make things better. The Web is actively doing something at the moment and possibly with the Distortion as well that will probably hurt Jon and Martin. 

But..... 

I’m worried about the possibility that the Web can promise a world with a happy ending like Martin always wanted and with no other options within the world, Martin chooses to let himself become a tool for the Web. Now to make this clear: Does Web!Martin give a happy ending or even a better world? No. Absolutely not. Can the Web possibly promise to give him the power to get a happy ending? Depends on if Martin will believe it.

If Web!Martin is a thing, it would be in doing so What He Thinks would be in both of their best interests and most importantly as his lowest point and final resort. That he stops believing that they have power to change the world on their own. When he believes he has no power left and all he can do to make the world better is to go to the one source that always seems to understand what’s going on. Because as of yet, he doesn’t have the motivations to be a Web avatar, but we’re slowly creeping into territory where he might think it is necessary to be one. 

(We already had best case scenario where the Web asks Martin to join him and Martin says no. He could say no again, of course, but I don’t know if the Web will be as understanding of his reluctance in time). 

For me, Web!Martin is on the same level of tragedy as Jon being the Archivist. Yes, there would be choices, but Martin would have been actively been manipulated by the Web just as much as Jon would be hurt by the Eye, even if it’s for entirely different reasons. He would be used as a tool in a greater game. Jon wants to be a good person. Martin wants to have a happy ending. We already know Jon’s desire to help the people around him has gotten him multiple marks. I can definitely see a world where Martin’s desire for a happy ending is used against him by the Web. 

I can see a world where Martin lies to Jon because he thinks that’s what’s best for the two of them. I can see a world where he doesn’t lie to Jon but still accepts the power of the Web anyway despite Jon not thinking it’s a good idea. I don’t think either HAVE happened yet. We aren’t at that point, but... 

Whatever the case, whatever plan the Web may have it highly involves one Mister Blackwood and his Archivist. And for the Web’s plans, Martin plays a key part of in it. 

Other Theories and How Web Martin Plays Into It

So, do I think that’s where the plot will end? With Web!Martin betraying Jon bc he thinks it will be best? Not really. I think a lot of the point will also be that while Martin fits the Web well, his inherent desire for a better world makes it so he’s not an avatar. It’s the same points I made before: aesthetically, Martin fits the Web well and could be a good avatar in association, but he doesn’t WANT to hurt innocents. And ultimately, no matter his potential goals, Martin loves and cares for the world and especially for Jon. There could be a mistake in there made by Martin, where the Web has his clutches in him, but I don’t see a world where that is his ultimate conclusion. 

I’ve also seen a theory where Martin uses Webby shenanigans to his advantage against Annabelle Cane. Where the manipulator becomes the manipulated and the tragedy is the sacrifice of himself for the sake of a happy ending he’ll never see. 

I’m interested in seeing if Jonah making Martin the backup Archivist goes anywhere, especially with the uncertain connection between the tapes, the Eye, the Web, and the Archivist. Does this have anything to do with why Martin felt like he had to listen to Jon? Does this have anything to do with how he slapped Jon out of a statement? Could both of these elements also have something to do with the Web? 

I’m also very intrigued on what Web Development was doing when they have something called a “story-spinner” and yet when the story-spinner was described it sounded almost exactly like an Archivist, but instead when you give a story, the spinner killed someone. Could the story-spinner have anything to do with the previous back-up Archivist? Could they just be entirely separate things? 

Who knows what it all means? I don’t. That’s why I’m not discounting anything, especially with something that has so much set-up and subtext as Web!Martin. Whether Web!Martin means full avatar or not isn’t clear to me, but I’m taking any and all potential red-tape moments and running with them. If it means being pulled by a red-herring, so be it, but I won’t dismiss anything until proven otherwise. As long as Martin wants to do good and have a happy ending, I don’t think the Web can fully get him at least not in the ways that count. But I won’t stop investigating the narrative on what these elements could lead up to. 

Conclusion 

This post was made in frustration. I admit that. There is a distaste for Web!Martin that has been approaching the fandom that I don’t entirely understand. I’m not saying you have to like it, heck I admit, I could be entirely wrong. I also agree it’s a bit annoying that every interaction that Martin and Jon have come up under scrutiny for Martin potentially being Webby by the fandom. That’s why I started this post as I did because I don’t find the narrative of “Martin Is The Evil Bad Guy Manipulating Jon From The Beginning” all that compelling and wanted to put that to rest early. 

I do, though, find it frustrating dismissing all elements of Web!Martin because of this. At the end of the day, I find there are too many elements in the text to entirely dismiss it and an outright rejection of Web!Martin can potentially lead to dissatisfaction with the narrative. I make this post as an explanation and exploration of my thoughts, and a way to show why so many fans like the Web!Martin theory. Take it or leave it, it’s fine, but I wanted to gather all my thoughts clearly in one place rather than in a bunch of snippy posts. I hope I’ve done that well enough. 

TLDR: Web!Martin for me is a potential, a threat, and a possibility, but not something I think is actively happening at the moment. Martin would make a good fit for an avatar if he wanted to be, but at the moment, has no motivation to do so. However, with the ever decreasing options to save the end of the world, I can see a situation where Web!Martin is a thing that he actively thinks could save it. 

That being said, Martin is inherently a character that wants to do GOOD in the world, and as long as that’s the case, even if that motivation is used against him, I don’t think he will be proven wrong that the world can be good and he has the power to make it so, or at the very least, I don’t think his journey will end on a dower note, even if it is a tragic one. The tragedy will be in the cost of saving the world or something similar, and whether or not Web!Martin is the case, I don’t think that will change. That being said, there are many potential theories on what could happen, and I don’t want to miss any of them, Web or not. This post has been made in somewhat defense as to why people like Web!Martin and continue to theorize about it, but also in reassurance that even if we do get Web!Martin that it doesn’t mean a destruction of Martin’s character.

[wandaposting]

I still stand by this, having someone as sympathetic and genuine as Monica (who also directly experienced what the westview citizens were dealing with, albeit for less time but still, and was even the one to verbalize it as the weighing grief and almost overflowing agony we now know it to be) say that "they'll never know what you sacrificed for them" is one of biggest disservices to her character in the limited time we've known her. This wasn't some big bad starting shit where Wanda came in after the fact, hell Hayward and even Agatha didn't show up until after the bubble was up, this was all directly her starting and her doing. Sure, the argument could be made that she didn't know right away, but as even you pointed out, there are several different instances where she was shown something was off/out of place. Not to mention, the mcu *really* doubling down on her telepathy and then just. Not having her acknowledge the suppression and undoubted agony radiating off of 3k+ westview citizens? x for doubt y'all

The fact that it's almost treated like westview and everyone are wrong or even unreasonable for being upset with/at her is a little upsetting too? Yes, Wanda has canonically always tried her best and things tend to go sideways, but this isn't a case where her reappearing well-intentions make up for the chaos and (in this case, largely mental, but I don't doubt a few people have some bruises or swelling from that little sequence before she started reopening the hex) destruction that tends to follow her in the mcu. No matter how well- intentioned she's been/may have been in the past, people know her name and face for a reason. The mcu in general has this weird idea that Wanda is their starting point for a 'they hate me solely for my powers' storyline when she really isn't the best starting point for that lmao. Well-intentioned or no, intentional or not, mcu-specific Wanda's story has chaos following her everywhere she goes- and by association, a fear of her inherent presence bc of that following chaos and destruction. Obviously people like Hayward and Ross exist solely to yell about metahumans to the clouds and obviously the chaos and destruction come to fruition inherently bc of her power's presence, but solely blaming the general public's fear of her on the fact that she has powers and not bc of literally everything else is a little meh to me.

Literally, look at westview. A place meant for her to have a home, a place in the world, and it ends w her going into "self-isolation" after she spent a week plus holding a town of 3k physically and mentally hostage? That isn't something that can be 'well, actually' ed away or 'she has depression, so'ed away bc of her grief and issues- especially when there were several opportunities for an out earlier on. It's all just treated weird and not even really Wanda-leaning to me, like it's a good moment for her and everyone is against her be of her powers X-men style, it just feels rushed and disingenuous. Especially after those lines from Monica? Managed to mischaracterize her already and we're only been with her for about an hour total

the narrative that so obviously wanted to characterize wanda and monica as ultimately goodhearted and emotionally empathetic characters was definitely, jarringly at odds with how the westview finale unfolded. this is not so much me ragging on the characters themselves because “those poor westview npcs,” or me making a big deal out of a house of m adaptation that’s still better than house of m, but me being bummed out that they really flubbed this one critical element of her development, that they could have done much better with, with only minor adjustments to the screenplay.

maybe something was lost when the pandemic interfered with the production, maybe they were rushed. i like to think the pre-pandemic wandavision plans wouldn’t have varied drastically from what we got (minus the darcy/monica/boner/minimoffs vs Demonic Senior Scratchy scene that WOULDA BEEN NICE TO SEE). but if it did, i kind of wish they would’ve taken the time they needed to fine tune these elements instead of dumping it on that early release date. we might’ve gotten something much more special.

on the other hand ... wonder woman 1984 was delayed repeatedly, and they (albeit a different production) still thought it was a good idea to keep that creepy steve trevor body possession plot point, which was a disservice to diana’s character despite the general goofy fun of the film.

this feels like the exact same situation amplified by the population of westview lksjflskd

[childofhelios]

“flower blooms and falls scars cure and buds shoot”

ship: Hades!Doyoung x Persephone!Taeyong

characters: Doyoung, Taeyong, with appearances by Jeno and mention of Zeus!Johnny and Poseidon!Ten 

rating: general/teen for slight injury and mentions of blood, also slight possessiveness from Doyoung but he regrets it very soon after

genre: fluff with angst for like .5 seconds

word count: 2.8k

title was taken from seventeen’s fallin’ flower, which is really good to listen to while reading! also, tell me if there are any mistakes bc i did convert a piece of my other writing into this fic. but anywho enjoy and feel free to send a message/ask about what you think about it :DDDD

“Taeyong, please just come out.” I lean my forehead against the black, walnut door where I can hear him franticly running around her room.  “We can talk about this like civilized people.” I hear him begin to mutter under his breath and I catch him saying my name and a few unpleasant phrases that I wish weren't associated with my name, but alas. “Taeyong, don’t you think you’re being a little immature? You’re acting like a child!” 

I almost fall forward as the door opens suddenly. Taeyong’s eyes were ablaze with fury as he stares at me in front of his door.  

“Oh, my sincerest apologies, Doyoung. I just didn’t expect to get kidnapped by someone that I’ve never met, starved for six months, accidentally eat a pomegranate, and then be stuck in this terrible, dreary place with no other company other than the dead and you. And I would rather spend time with the dead!”  

“Believe me, the dead are worse company than I am.” 

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” I jolt at his loud voice echoing through the manor. I’ve had his presence for over six months, and I’m still not used to having people around me. To having an actual living, breathing person in my company. He sweeps a hand through bubblegum pink bangs and takes a deep sigh. “Doyoung, I beg of you. The humans need me. Without me, they’ll die. I need to go back on the surface to assist my mother.” 

I roll my eyes. “Humans are made to die. It’s how they're made to be. Plus, She’s is a goddess that has been around for centuries. She was able to assist humans without you there. Besides,” I take a hold of his hands, his beautiful tan contrasting against the blueish pallor of mine, “didn’t you say you loved me?” 

Yanking his hand out of mine, he says, “I said I loved you a little. And if I knew that it would go straight to your head and you would try to use against me, I wouldn’t have said it. If you had given me the chance, maybe it could have grown. Maybe I would have been able to become your bride.” 

“Taeyong, you can’t leave. I finally got used to having someone with me. You can still become my husband.” 

“Doyoung. You can’t just keep me here because you’re lonely.” 

I sigh and rise to my full height, towering over him slightly. “You’ve misunderstood me. You can’t leave. I forbid it.” 

He scoffs and pushes past me. “Haven’t you heard of free will? I’m leaving and you can’t stop me.” Before he rounds the corner, something whizzes by his face. He whips around, furious with a small cut on his cheek beginning to spill golden ichor. I stride up to him and yank the sharpened ruby out of the wall.  

“It seems that you've forgotten who I am. I am Doyoung, the god of the underworld and riches. I am one of the oldest gods to exist and I’ll be one of the last to disappear. Did you think you’ll be able to leave that easily? This is my domain and I decide what comes in and out of it. And you,” I crush the ruby and let the powder run through my fingers like sand, “aren’t going anywhere, my little lotus. Now, you can walk to your room on your own, or I can have Cerberus escort you back there. Your choice, my dear.” 

If looks could kill, I would already be six feet under as Taeyong stares up at me. Slowly, he steps away and walks in the direction of his door. I watch as he leads a trail of ichor and shuts his door with a forceful SLAM! 

 I begin walking towards my quarters. As soon as I close my door, my knees give out. “Gods, why did I do that? You know that he’s right. We can’t force him here; he’s going to be unhappy and what’s the point of having him here if he’s upset the entire time?” I stare down at my hands as they tremble slightly. “I injured him. On purpose, I made him bleed.” It’s a weird feeling to be shaken by blood when that’s what I deal with every day. I see the most gruesome of murders and war causalities but injuring a minor god has me shaking in my boots. I wobble over to my sink and submerge my face underwater. I came up gasping for air and catch my reflection in the mirror. At the rate I’m paling, I’ll look more like a ghost than the people outside the manor. My eyes resemble the darkest of obsidian and have deep eye bags underneath them, my face is sunken in as if I’m a beggar from the streets, and my hair is matted in every which way. The longer I stare at myself, the more I can see the monster Taeyong must see.  

“JENO!” My voice booms and seconds later, a pile of bones bursts through the door. No, quite literally, a disassembled skeleton falls through my door and onto the ground before me. The skull, sporting a flat cap, turns towards me and grins widely.  

“Master Doyoung! What can I do to help you today?” 

“Please tend to Mr. Taeyong from now own. First, make sure his wound is taken care of. Second, make sure he eats, sleeps, and does whatever else he needs and wants to do. Do you understand?” 

“Absolutely, Master. He’s in the right hands. Or, um, bones.” 

“No tricks, Jeno. I don’t think our guest would appreciate that. And neither would I.”  

Jeno’s voice takes on a mischievous tone. “Guest? Don’t you mean groom, Master? Unless you’re having second thoughts?” 

“I’m not sure what you mean. But I do know this.” I pick up the skull and stare fiercely where the eyes would have been. “If you do anything to upset her, I will crush your bones into powder and use it as incense for the next 30 years. Do you understand?” 

“Would my bones even last that long?” 

“Do you really test me right now?” 

“Fine. I understand. Now, can you please put me back together again?” I roll my eyes, but I set down the skull in the middle of the bones. My eyes glow a bright gold and with a wave of my hand, the skeleton assembles once more. He fidgets with his cap.  

“Now, that’s much better!” 

“What happened to you?”  

“Cerberus tried to use me as a chew toy. Again.” 

“I knew there was a reason he’s my favorite.”  

“I would take personal offense to that but, he’s my favorite too.”  

“Go to Taeyong. Make sure she’s alright.”  

“Your wish is my command, Master.” As he walks out the door, his bones clatter and then I’m left in silence. I fall back into my bed, wondering if I should just apologize to him directly. I did act unreasonably, and I shouldn’t have let my anger explode like that, but I don’t want him to leave. As I lay there, I slowly drift off.  

 The next month is difficult for multiple reasons. First, immediately after I send Jeno to take care of Taeyong, he throws a fit and makes flowers grow out of every hole in his skeletal body. Then, he refuses to eat with me or even look at me. I would walk down the hall and he’d sprint into a side room just to avoid me. And let’s not even get started with the escape attempts. You would think after about 10, he would give up. But no. He has tried to escape more than 50 times. Fifty. I swear to the gods, he’s making me grow gray hairs just from stress. Then we have Johnny, Ten, and practically the entirety of the Pantheon breathing down my neck trying to bring her back. And I’ve explained to them multiple times that it’s the law of the underworld and I can’t change it simply because one young goddess is down here. But now, Thunder Thighs and Kelp-for-Brains can’t grasp it for some reason.  

I sit behind my desk, grasping my head as I glare at the piles of scrolls in front of me. You would think death was pretty cut and dry, but no. I have to deal with making sure bodies end up with families, people don’t act on stupid grudges and become monsters to kill people, or something else entirely stupid. I pick up one scroll when the door cracks open.  

“Jeno, I thought I told you if you disturbed me, I would- “  

“Let Cerberus year me apart and keep me as his chew-toy, I know, I know. But it’s urgent.”  

I drop the scroll in my hand. “If it means I can get out of my work, I’m all ears.”  

“Mr. Taeyong…. He’s disappeared again, Master.”  

The pounding in my head worsens. “Oh.” 

“Shall I go after him? Or maybe send some people after him?” 

“No, just leave him. If he’s this persistent to leave, then we should just let him go.” 

“But, Master!” 

“Enough, Jeno. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a rest before I break the law of my land.” I stand and stagger my way to my bedroom, ignoring Jeno’s shouts and how my head worsens with each step I take. Ugh, this whole affair is such a mess. I shouldn’t have gotten myself involved with him in the first place. I close my eyes and the next time they open; the sky had faded from the morning’s light dusk to the afternoon’s midnight blue. I rise with my robes wrinkled and sleep in my eyes. I find my way to the kitchen and snag an apple before heading to the endless pile of scrolls I left. On my way there, I see Taeyong’s door slightly ajar.  

“Jeno, I thought I told you about going through other people’s things? You never-” Instead of seeing that insufferable skeleton with a guilty grin, I find Taeyong unpacking a bag. “You’re back.” 

“Not by choice, unfortunately.”  

“Oh? I thought you had left. Did Jeno stop you? I told him not to and not to send anybody either.” 

“No, my mother stopped me. Talked about how if I came back before my time here was finished, you would kill any human that even breathed wrongly. So, now I’m back here. I’m sure you’re ecstatic about it.” 

“No!” He looks at me suspiciously, setting down the robes he took out of his bag. “I knew you didn’t want to be here, so I thought not going after you once you had left would finally let you be happy. But it appears to be untrue.” He shakes his head and turns back to his clothes. “If there’s anything I can do that would make it easier for the next five months, please tell me.” 

“I don’t know. Not being here would be pretty great.” 

I wince. “Other than that?” 

“Answer this for me. You say you want me here, but you act like a shriveled prune every time I’m near. Why?”  

“I’m not entirely sure what you mean.” 

“I mean this! This is both the most you’ve ever spoken to me and the nicest you’ve been to me. It’s been a month and we’ve barely talked.” 

“So, what should I do?” 

He walks past me to the door and looks back at me from the doorframe. “Show me. Be sincere and I’ll see if I’ll want to stay.” He walks off and I’m just left stupefied in her room. I all but sprint to my office and start scrawling out two letters.  

I summon Jeno and give him a message. “Give this to Ten and Johnny. Tell them to respond to me immediately.” 

If immediately means 6 days later, I fear for their subjects. As I skim through both of their letters, I see the same pattern of making fun of me, attempting to help, and then making fun of me again. I should have expected it from Airhead, but I thought Ten would be at least somewhat helpful. I throw both of their scrolls in the fire because there was no use in keeping those around. I slam my head into my desk a couple of times, wallowing.  

Over several days, I tried every trick known to man and god. But it either ends with me making a fool of myself or just making Taeyong even angrier. I squat in the garden and hang my head in defeat. The artificial sun in the sky beats down on my skin and my hands are covered in coarse dirt.  

“Master, are you sure you don’t want us to help you? We have staff for this sort of thing.”  

I look back at Jeno. “For the fifth time, Jeno, I truly don’t mind doing this. At least, this is something to distract me from my work. I think my headache is getting better too.” 

“That must be true, sir, because you haven’t stopped smiling since you started planting. “ 

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” I look towards the lavender sprigs sitting next to me. “I was just thinking of Taeyong’s reaction when he sees this. I hope this brings a little bit of happiness to his stay here.” I continue planting the lavender until there was a cluster in the section closest to the entrance. At this point, I’ve only put half of the flowers in the ground. But I feel pride swell in my chest as I look at the tiny cluster I planted.  

“What are those?” I whip around to see Taeyong standing on the steps. 

“Oh, um. I was just planting some flowers in the garden. I know you’ve missed nature so I thought I would try to bring some to you.” 

“Wouldn’t they just die?” 

“No. I’ve been trying to grow different types of flowers down here and lavender was the only one that survived.” He continues to stare at me with a mysterious look in his eye. After a couple of seconds, he speeds down the stairs and gets on his knees in front of the sprigs I just planted. “What are you doing?” 

He snaps at me. “Shut up.” If it had been anybody else, they wouldn’t have been saying another word for the rest of their lives and even after that. But I close my mouth and I study Taeyong and he studies the lavender. His hands glow a soft pink and the lavender turns vibrant, almost energized. “There. That should help it for a little while.” 

“What did you just do?” 

“Just gave it a little pick-me-up.” I nod in understanding and Taeyong moves where I had placed the other flowers. “Where were you going to put these?”  

I point at the other side of the garden and he strides over there with the flowers in hand. “Ah, Taeyong. There’s no need. I have this under control.” 

He scoffs. “I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for the flowers because you don’t know what you’re doing.” 

“Isn’t it just simply putting the plants into the ground and tending to their needs?” 

“Oh, gods. It’s so much more than that. You must be gentle and treat them with the utmost care. You move slowly and fluidly. Come here, I’ll show you.” I squat next to him and see him sprinkling dirt to cover the roots. “Doyoung?” 

“Yes, Taeyong?” 

“Did you know that there’s a language just for flowers?” 

“Really? Fascinating. Is it possible for me to learn? Can you understand it? Wait, has the lavender been speaking the entire time?” 

Taeyong giggles and the artificial sun shines brighter. “Not that kind of language. Each flower has its own meaning. Roses are passion, daisies are innocence, carnations are good fortune, etc.” 

“Wow, then what’s lavender?” 

He stares directly into my eyes, the mysterious look back on his face. “A lot of things but to name a few: purity, calmness, and... devotion.” 

The sun beats down harder, feeling like ants are crawling over my back. “Oh.” 

“Mhm. That’s why they’re one of my favorite flowers. They have a pure message, they’re absolutely beautiful, and they’re able to grow anywhere.”  

“Oh.” 

“Doyoung, do you understand what I’m saying?” 

“To be perfectly honest, I haven’t the faintest idea.” 

His eye twitches and throws a handful of dirt at my chest. “You’re a fool. I’m saying I return your affections. I acknowledge your feelings and feel the same way. Gods, I’m saying I love you and I’m willing to become your husband.” 

It didn’t fully register so my response was: “Oh, that’s nice.”  

“Let’s just continue planting these before it gets too dark, or at least darker. Then, we can discuss this later.”  

And so, we spent the afternoon tending to the flowers and as the day faded to night, we fell asleep with “I love you’s” littering the air like the sweetest and most intoxicating perfume.  

[tonyglowheart]

 so. Here’s my thing about CQL and Lan Qiren, specifically in terms of the “300 strokes with the iron rod” after Nightless City/Burial Mounds “siege” in The Untamed, and also how this reflects on Lan Wangji’s character:

I think CQL actually kind of does Lan Qiren a disservice. I mean strict parenting is... sort of a Thing in Asian cultures to begin with, so there’s some measure of that in his portrayal, but the whole way the discipline stick beatings are framed in CQL, I think, gives it more space for Western viewers to really think it’s unreasonable & like he’s some kind of tyrannical parent? When really I think a lot of that is down to the framing and to the gaps in explanation where The Untamed either handwaves away an explanation or parallels the novel beats without really hanging the moments off the rest of THEIR plot construction very well?

and like I know the whole “CQL Lan Qiren vs novel Lan Qiren” thing is a joke, but like... CQL legit kind of makes no sense to me in the framing lol. Or like, I CAN make some sense of it, but it comes at the expense of Lan Qiren’s character a bit :/

Regarding Lan Wangji’s punishment for “causing a mess” at Luanzang Gang, he got 300 strokes with the iron rod, right? vs in the novel, where he got 33 strokes with the discipline whip because he injured 33 elders when he was defending Burial Mounds

but because of the way The Untamed tweaked the timeline, it’s....kind of odd why Lan Wangji was even in the Mounds to begin with. I guess the framing of it was “well we don’t know for sure that Wei Wuxian is dead, so maybe he might show up here” (except...what’s the distance between Nightless City and LZG? Is that even reasonable to expect? anyway_

And also, we get this story second-hand from LXC, but the framing.......is again, odd to me.

LXC VO starts off by saying remember Qiongqi Path, and when the...whole Wen clan remnants to Jinlin Tai for some reason (even though they SAID only Wen Qing and Wen Ning needed to go? and at first I thought it was “o they’re seeing them off” but then turns out... the Wens all went.... all the way......to get killed.....whyyyy...) but then it “flashes” back to Su She confronting LWJ at LZG? And the whole sequence plays out, whatever. We know for sure this happens after WY falls bc Su She and later JGY mention lines about him being dead/even if he survived, we have the place surrounded. I guess it’s less of a siege and more of a.....they’re guarding the place in case he decides to go back? but then damningly (for LQR, and for LWJ) is that JGY...calls everyone off. and we see them go. and this is a flashback bit and not LXC narrating, so even though the flashback and VO are a bit contradictory in tone, it seems like the flashback stuff is framed as “the real events”? even though they’re choppily shown?

so then... who exactly did Lan Wangji fight? and... why? the original explanation is WWX was injured in there, so it literally was a siege, and LWJ was standing outside protecting him. And the other clans were trying to bust into the cave to get to WWX, which is why LWJ was fighting them, and it’s in the course of that where he injured the 33 Lan Sect elders.

but in The Untamed.... JGY walks off... we see LWJ collapse down dramatically... and then Lan Xichen says “LWJ fought in Burial Mounds and made a mess” why is why Uncle punished him...

but again we don’t SEE any of that, and really, the only people he seems to fight, maybe, is Su She’s people, so. that’s what makes... Lan Qiren’s punishment seem more “unreasonable” in The Untamed. Since in CQL, it seems like LQR really was punishing LWJ for associating with WWX, and that’s it.

The other thing tho, is the 300 strokes with the iron rod. I mean the thing is, it’s not a whip on bare back; it’s an iron rod over all of his layers of clothing. So... sure, by the time you get to 300, maaaybe that’ll cause some skin breakage and bleeding? I don’t know, I’m not sure how beatings work :’)  (and anyway the stokes were mostly horizontal to the ground, so how did he have slanty whip-like scars? *handwave* uhhhh.... Just Roll With It(TM) )

the thing about 300 strokes is, I mean he already got 300 with the wood discipline stick for drinking, so his later one couldn’t be any less than that. And the thing about cultivators is, they’re stronger/more resilient/harder to injure than your vanilla human. Plus, like we’re not really *shown* the full punishment, so lowkey the inflated numbers are also for a sense of drama too.

But yeah to me the framing of LWJ guarding in front of the (empty) Burial Mounds........ is incredibly odd in terms of LWJ’s characterization, but I guess it makes some kind of sense if I’m assuming that CQL ! LWJ actually is, apparently, a deeply sentimental person, and moved to these kinds of outrageous gestures. I’d previously been working under a more... practical model of LWJ characterization, in which this would be kind of OOC, but I guess....CQL makes tweaks that give us a more WWX-centered and more sentimental Lan Wangji... (which isn’t. necessarily... bad it’s just something I need to adjust my own thinking to and accepting, since if I’m seeing CQL as its own separate ‘verse and less novel-adjacent, then like... instead of these beats being “OOC warnings,” it instead becomes... a formation of a different character structure, a LWJ that’s more... 16 years of Inquiry focused :/ )