#and our fish stores seem to take good care of the fish as well

[fatal-blow]

the aquarium hobby honestly drives me insane sometimes. coming into it as a guy who knows a lot about ecology (even tho i started my first tank less than a year ago), it immediately struck me as odd the sheer amount of cleanliness so many aquarists demand of their tanks. like constantly vaccuuming gravel, or killing snails, or freaking out about "pests" and insisting that everything be quarantined and washed and sterile before throwing it in the tank

like. you're creating a little microhabitat. there has to be a better way than ripping it apart every week because you -checks notes- think bladder snails are ugly

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

And All the Pieces Fall Right Into Place

I'll Write Your Name Chapter 2

Roy Kent x Latina!Popstar!Reader

3.7k words

Warnings: Language, adults drinking adult things, a smidge of slut-shaming, sexual references, immature adults, Roy being Roy

Holi Dani! I’m back in town. Let’s get together tonight! I miss you!

Under April’s watchful eye, I typed my text to Dani Rojas and hit send. I knew full well that the Greyhounds had a game; Keeley Jones had sent me their schedule, after all. Step one of the most insane idea in the world was officially in motion.

“Remember, you can’t seem too desperate,” April reminded me as we lounged in my living room. “We don’t want it to be obvious that you’re fishing for an invite. Just be really subtle, like ‘Oh you have a match? Wow I’ve never been to one.’ You know?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know, I know.”

Bzz!

Dani’s quick response would have been surprising if it was anyone else; but Dani Rojas was the friendliest, most accommodating person I knew. Since we first met at a party for some tequila brand back in L.A., Dani and I immediately clicked. Our paths crossed frequently enough in London, and I considered him one of my favorite people in England. We bonded over our shared desire to find good pan dulce in London and how much we missed our big, crazy families when we were away. It wouldn’t be too hard to finagle an invitation to his game, right?

Aww chula, I wish! I’ve got a fútbol match tonight.

Just as I was crafting a text that would score me a ticket to Nelson Road, another message came in.

You should come!

“Well, shit,” I laughed, showing April my screen. “That was almost too easy.”

My assistant- sidekick and soulmate, I preferred to call her- chuckled and started typing on her own phone. “I’ll let Keeley and Lanie know that our mission is complete. And I’ll take care of getting your ticket. All you have to worry about now is looking hot and having a good meet-cute.” She paused, pursing her lips. “You and Kent… you two can flirt with each other, right?”

“The heck’s that supposed to mean?” I snorted as I texted Dani back, letting him know that I would love to go to his game.

She shrugged. “You two just didn’t seem to like each other very much.” Her matter-of-fact tone held no emotion. “You’re going to have to pull some Daniel Day-Lewis level acting for this to work.” April grinned at me. “I mean, your goal is to get an EGOT, right? Maybe your Oscar will be for acting.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as Dani texted me back, all excitement. “Well, just call me Meryl, because that’s how good my acting will have to be to get people to think I’m into someone like Roy Kent.”

April’s face softened. “You’ve gotta admit,” she said slowly, “he’s pretty cute.”

“Cute?” I rolled my eyes. “I mean, sure, I could see how he could be considered handsome by some people. I could totally see him with models and shit. But if you’re worried about me falling for the guy, don’t stress.” I slouched further into my couch. “No way in hell am I falling for Roy freaking Kent.”

~

Keeley grinned and showed her phone to Roy. “She got Dani to invite her!” she hissed to the manager as they ate lunch together in his office. “Everything’s going according to plan.”

“Yeah,” Roy muttered flatly as he poked at his food. “Great.”

What the fuck had he gotten himself into? He hated this kind of shit, the paparazzi and attention. And he hated her party-girl lifestyle, always out at clubs. And what the fuck were they supposed to talk about on the dates Keeley would surely make them go on? He liked football, hanging out with Phoebe, reading… What did she like? Flirting with scrawny rockstars? Stealing her best friend’s boyfriend (according to the tabloid he’d noticed at the store that morning)? Her Malibu Barbie Dreamhouse, or wherever it was she lived when she was in Los Angeles? And he was going to have to endure months of this. Fucking hell.

But it was for Keeley, he reminded himself as he watched the blonde munch happily on her salad. She’d asked him to do something, something she knew he’d hate, and he said ‘yes’ without complaint. That had to mean something, right? Surely that would earn him a few points with her, maybe even enough to forget about the whole ‘pick one’ shit he and Jamie had pulled. She’d definitely see how above and beyond Roy was willing to go for her and remember why she had loved him, wouldn’t she?

Besides, seeing him with an admittedly gorgeous popstar on his arm might even make Keeley a smidge jealous.

“It’s gonna work.” Keeley’s reassuring voice penetrated his thoughts. “I know it is. You wouldn’t believe who’s gotten away with this scheme. You know that actor from-”

I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

Roy stood, frowning in the direction of the suddenly bolstering changing room. “What the fuck is that?”

Keeley grinned as she hopped up and followed his gaze to the sight of Jamie and Colin and a few other guys shaking their hips and singing along. “Your new girlfriend,” she whispered with a wink. “Come on, Roy, you know this one. It was only her big hit last summer.”

“Hmmph.” Yeah, he recognized the catchy tune that still seemed to always be on the radio all these months later; Phoebe’d made him play it about twenty times in the car just that week. But why the fuck was his team screeching it while they got ready for their afternoon training?

Jamie’s smile widened at the sight of Roy and Keeley. “Oi! Did ya hear Dani’s news?”

“What’s up?” Keeley asked, as if she didn’t know exactly what Jamie was about to say.

Sure enough, Jamie pointed in the direction of Colin’s little speaker, where the music was blasting from. “She’s comin’! To our game tonight!” He looked just about ready to do a cartwheel. “Apparently, she and Dani are buddies, and he invited her to watch us! Can you believe it?”

“You’re kidding!” Keeley gasped convincingly, smacking Jamie on the arm. “How the fuck did he never tell us they’re friends?” She glanced at Roy before turning back to Jamie. “D’you reckon he’ll get her to go out with you boys tonight? Or is she too famous for our little Greyhounds?”

Richard appeared over Jamie’s shoulder. “I hope so,” he sighed. “She recently broke up with her boyfriend.” He waggled his eyebrows. “She’ll be looking for a rebound, no?”

Roy rolled his eyes. Shit, was this going to be an even bigger distraction than he thought, he realized. For the millionth time since he stood in Keeley’s office and signed the NDA, Roy was regretting this decision. But when he saw the excitement shining in Keeley’s eyes as she watched the Greyhounds dance around, he couldn’t help the soft sigh he let out.

Fuck, he hoped it was worth it.

~

I took one last look in the mirror. Little jean skirt, black leather jacket, boots. April had assured me that the outfit was perfect: casual enough for a game, stylish enough for a night out with the team, hot enough to catch the attention of Roy Kent. Or at least, look like I’d caught the attention of Roy Kent.

The car ride to Nelson Road was quicker than I’d expected, and the walk to my seat was a blur of phones taking photos and my name gasped out of people’s mouths. I wondered if, with all the time I’d be spending at Nelson Road in the coming weeks, the reaction would die down. Or if, like Keeley Jones had implied towards the end of our first meeting, my presence would lead to a spike in attendance.

She seemed to be hoping for the latter, because she made sure my seat was very visible: right by the pitch, close to the Greyhounds’ dugout. Even if I wasn’t the biggest soccer fan, I had to admit it was exciting being so close to the field; I quickly snapped a few pictures to send to my family, who would appreciate the view much more than I ever could.

When the team came out, I joined in the enthusiastic cheers and screams, shouting Dani’s name loudly. His face lit up when he spotted me, and I saw him nudging his teammates and pointing in my direction. Keeley had warned me about their reactions; indeed, they were grabbing each other and making faces similar to the ones my nephew made when he saw Mickey Mouse on his first trip to Disneyland.

“Whistle!”

The two syllables slammed against my ears. There he was, no longer in the black leather jacket I’d met him in, but instead wearing a dark blue Greyhounds jacket. One of the players- Jamie Tartt, I remembered- started animatedly talking to a very bored-looking Roy Kent. With one of those eyerolls that I knew I’d have to get used to seeing, he turned in my direction.

Despite my initial instinct to roll my own eyes, I instead forced myself to hold his gaze for a moment. A horrified thought suddenly struck me: Could Roy Kent pull this off?

Then his mouth tugged upwards in the corner, forming an admittedly sexy little smirk. In return, I let my eyes wander down his figure, taking in the way his jacket hugged his muscular arms and the way his pants hugged thick thighs. Damn. If I hadn’t already met him, if I hadn’t already discovered what a cranky and irritable grouch Roy Kent was, I’d probably be attracted to his smug expression and athletic build. He wasn’t my usual type, but I couldn’t deny that he was, frankly, kind of gorgeous.

He gave me a curt nod of acknowledgement before turning back to his team and shouting at them, his sharp yell reminding me that I was here for a reason. Remembering Keeley’s instructions, I pulled out my phone and snapped a couple of photos of the pitch, making sure to get Roy and the other Greyhounds in the frame. I quickly posted the picture to my social media and tagged Dani in it, as Keeley had suggested.

With the “official business” out of the way, I relaxed in my seat and prepared to at least appear to look like I was enjoying the game. Figuring that there were eyes and cameras pointed in my direction, I made myself steal several glances at Roy Kent; he must have been thinking the same thing, because more than once, he was already looking over at me.

~

Roy sighed when he looked over at the corner where most of the Richmond players were assembled, practically falling over themselves to get in a word with her.

It was a bit perplexing, honestly. These men were professional athletes. They regularly dated models and actresses. But this singer, this popstar, had them falling all over themselves trying to chat her up. Sure, Roy thought, her level of fame was pretty fucking impressive. She’d won a couple of Grammys, her songs were constantly on the radio, and he’d heard her latest tour was practically impossible to get tickets for. So maybe some of their fawning was justified.

He glanced at his phone, wishing he was at home in bed already. With a deep exhale, he made a beeline for Dani; the sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could leave, he reasoned.

“Oi,” Roy grunted as he approached the striker. He nodded towards the swarm of players, doing his best to keep his trademark disinterested expression on his face. “You going to introduce me to your friend?”

Dani’s eyes sparkled knowingly. “You too, eh Coach?” He chuckled and clapped Roy on the shoulder. “Vámonos.”

Roy’s heart stuttered in his chest as he followed Dani to the corner of the club, where he saw, of all people, Jamie sitting close to the singer, murmuring something in her ear. She laughed at whatever he said and responded with a smile on her face. Her eyes flickered to Roy as he approached; was that�� disappointment he saw?

If it was, it was only there for a fraction of a second. Just like on the pitch, her eyes trailed over his figure, a small smirk forming on her lips. If he didn’t know better, Roy would be intrigued by the boldness on her face, the uninhibited way she eyed him. In the back of his head, he couldn’t help feeling a bit smug when he saw the way Jamie’s brows furrowed as the striker looked back and forth between the two.

She kept her eyes on Roy as she stood up and stepped away from Jamie and the guys. She batted her lashes at Roy before turning to Dani, her eyebrows raised expectantly.

Shit, Roy thought. She’s good at this.

“Chula,” Dani said, smiling at his friend. “I want you to meet my coach, Roy.” He turned to Roy. “Coach, this is-”

Roy reached out and took her hand in his and shaking it slowly. “Only an idiot doesn’t know who you are,” he hummed, raising his eyebrows. “You caused quite a stir with my team, you know. You enjoy the match?”

She nodded, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. “I did. Sorry if I was a bit of a distraction.”

“I think you actually brought us luck.” Fucking hell, when was the last time Roy flirted like this? Was he doing it right? “You should come again sometime.”

Her smile widened as she tilted her head coyly. “Well, if that’s an invitation, maybe I will.”

Desperate to end this charade, Roy cleared his throat. “Have these fellas bought you a drink yet?” When she shook her head, he rolled his eyes playfully. “Fucking hell, guess I need to remind them what fucking manners look like.” With that, he placed his hand on her lower back and nodded towards the bar. “Come on, then.”

She winked at Dani and let Roy lead her to the bar, keeping that coy smile plastered on her face. Once they had ordered, she looked up at him, still smirking.

“Kent,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “Watch your fucking hands.”

Sure enough, Roy realized that his hand was dangerously low, just above the curve of her ass. Shit.

Despite his embarrassment, Roy scoffed, although he did remove his hand. “You’re a natural at that flirting shit,” he all but sneered. “Then again, I’m sure you’ve had plenty of practice, with all your shaggy little rockstar pricks.”

Her eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second as the bartender slid over her drink. Still, she kept her expression neutral; to anyone watching them, she looked as though she was enjoying their conversation. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Her snarky tone contrasted with her sweet face. “Tell me more about the women who sell stories about your dick to the press and steal your watches?”

“Oi,” Roy growled as he picked his beer up off the bar. “That happened once, alright?”

“You mean it got into the papers once,” she grumbled, sipping her drink. She raised her eyebrows at him. “So, what’s the plan?”

Roy frowned. “Fuck d’you mean? We’re doing the fucking plan.”

She shook her head. “Like, are you going to ask me to dance? Are we taking off and going to a restaurant or some shit?” Roy avoided looking at the way her lips wrapped around her little straw as she sipped her drink. “Keeley said it’s up to us, just no going home together on the first night.” The little snort she gave would’ve been adorable coming from anyone else. “As if.”

“Well, I guess if we dance, we don’t have to fucking talk,” Roy muttered, doing his best to mirror her amiable expression; it was challenging, he realized, looking cheery while feeling irritated as hell. He downed the rest of his beer and practically slammed the empty bottle on the bar. “One song, alright? I don’t usually fucking dance.”

“Trust me,” she hummed, finishing the last of her drink. “For me, you’d make an exception.” Flashing what he assumed was her most winning smile, she took Roy’s hand and led him to the crowded dance floor.

On the dance floor, she pressed her body close to his, her movements teasing and natural. Everything about her- her hips, her smile, her eyes on his, the way her hands played with her hair flirtatiously- would have normally had Roy’s chest feeling tight with attraction.

She brought her lips to his ear, looking as though she was probably flirting with him. “I swear to God,” she hissed. “If you get a boner, I will fucking kill you.”

Yeah. Right.

~

Officially introduced? Check.

Flirted? Check.

Had a drink together? Check.

Danced? Check.

We’d gone through enough of the motions. There was no way I was going to spend more time with Kent than I had to; we’d be thrown together enough in the coming weeks once the “dating” began. Besides, Keeley had warned me that Roy didn’t like to stay out late anymore. He was probably even more ready to call it a night than I was.

Sure enough, after a couple of songs, he gave a small grunt and looked at his phone.

“Should get going,” he grumbled.

“Why?” I huffed, fluffing my hair. “Will you fall asleep right here on the dance floor soon?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a real ball of fucking sunshine?”

“That’s an improvement from nightmare.” I exhaled and tugged at his jacket. “C’mere.”

Roy’s eyes widened. “Why?”

“So I can say goodnight, you idiot. Someone’s bound to take a photo of this.” Not waiting for an answer, I pulled his face close to mine and planted a small, lingering kiss on his cheek. His face was warm, a little itchy from his beard, and now carried a little red mark from my lipstick. I smiled up at him and released his jacket. “Goodnight, Roy Kent,” I hummed.

He cleared his throat and gave a curt nod. “Right. Goodnight, then.” He reached down and gave my hand a squeeze before turning and walking away, his movements stiff and almost robotic.

Fighting the urge to childishly wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, I returned to the corner where the Greyhounds were gathered. Dani’s face lit up when I slid into the booth next to him and stole a sip of his drink.

“Did you have fun dancing with Coach Kent, amor?” he asked, his voice dripping with teasing.

I smirked at my friend. “He was very nice,” I declared with a playful eyeroll.

“Roy doesn’t normally dance,” one of the players- Colin- informed me. “And he usually doesn’t stay out this late.” He waggled his eyebrows at me over his beer. “Wonder why he came out tonight.”

Putting on my best coy smile, I leaned forward. “What about when his girlfriend comes out with you all? Doesn’t he dance with her?”

Immediately, all the men at the table shook their heads. “Roy doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Isaac, their captain, clarified. “He actually hasn’t really dated anyone since….” He glanced around the table. “Well, since he broke up with his serious girlfriend, Keeley.”

“Keeley?” I echoed without thinking. “Keeley Jones?”  

Dani’s smile widened. “Oh, how do you know Keeley?”

Shit.

“I don’t,” I lied. “But I’ve heard of her. We’ve got some mutual friends. She’s a model, right?”

Isaac nodded. “She’s moved into PR, actually. Runs her own firm, works with the club. She’s brilliant.”

“And once upon a time, she and Roy were our OTP,” Colin sighed dreamily. “But they’re good friends now. Them and Jamie and their weird little dynamic.”

“Jamie dated her too,” Dani explained. “Before her and Roy got together.”

I nodded, slowly piecing together the story. “Jamie dated her too?” I chuckled, wondering why I felt like I should have been told all this ahead of time. “Gosh, she has a type, doesn’t she? Dating two guys from the same team.” I put my hands up and quickly added, “Not that I have the right to judge. I dated bandmates once, did not turn out well for the band.”

The guys laughed good-naturedly. As I was about to feign interest and ask another question about Roy, Jamie Tartt approached, plopping down on my other side and setting down a drink in front of me, his arm behind me on the booth casually.

“Finally escaped from Grandad, eh?” he joked, eyes twinkling playfully.

Damn. Normally, his pretty-boy looks and admittedly annoying swagger would be exactly what I wanted, and we’d probably have a fun couple of weeks in each other’s beds. But I needed to stick to the plan; besides, wasn’t I done with guys like this?

Offering the athlete nothing but a polite smile, I turned back to Dani and took my friend’s hand. “It was fun watching you play today,” I hummed. “Think I could come again? Become a Greyhounds fan?”

“Yes!” Dani kissed my forehead. “Please, amor, come to more of our games.” He nudged me. “I’m sure Coach Kent would not mind one bit.”

Hoping my smile was shy rather than obviously fake, I giggled. “He did tell me I brought you all luck,” I said slowly. I batted my eyelashes at Dani. “Don’t suppose you could pass along my phone number to him? I’d love to know which game he’d like me to bring luck to.”

The table fell into a dead silence, all eyes wide and mouths agape. After the guys exchanged looks that could only be described as utterly shocked, Colin finally cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he started, “are you asking Dani to give Roy your phone number?”

Feigning innocence, I nodded. “Sure,” I chirped. “Is that alright? You all said he’s single, so…” I shrugged and turned to Dani. “Unless you think it’s too weird, chulo?”

“No, no,” Dani assured me. “I can give him your number.” He tilted his head at me. “You… you liked Coach Kent, then?”

Nope. Not at all. Not one fucking bit.

“Sure,” I giggled, hating myself. “I mean, as much as I can like a man after one drink and a couple of dances.”

His smile lit up the entire club as he lifted his drink. “Well, then Coach Kent is a lucky man. I will give him your number tomorrow, how does that sound?”

I tapped my glass to Dani’s. “Sounds like a plan.”

Taglist: @infinetlyforgotten@ladygrey03@book-of-roses@thatonedogwithablog@misshall14@wibblywobblyvampywolfystuff@akornsworld@itswhateveripromise@purecinnamonextract@oceanncurrent@dearvoidgoodnight@hopefulromances @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @hotleaf-juice @emmy2811 @captainorbust-blog @preciousbabypeter @shion-ah @royalestrellas

[machifuwa]

Autumn Cafeteria | Episode 1

An hour later. At Seisoukan's library

Tsumugi: Aah, Suou-kun. Hello~.

Tsukasa: Oya, you're pretty early today…oh?

It also seems like Itsuki-senpai came with you, my greetings.

Shu: My apologies for bothering you, Suou. I just have something to discuss with you.

Tsukasa: Discuss? What is it?

Shu: But before that, I have something for you. It's a souvenir. Take it.

Tsukasa: Brioche…! Are you sure I can have this much?

Shu: Yes, but separate them from the Biblion side.

Sena might give you a scolding. Saying that you're taking advantage of the fact that he's abroad by indulging yourself in binge eating.

Tsukasa: I-I am not indulging! Don't worry, I'm taking good care of my weight.

Shu: I don't want you to take it out on me. Say it directly to Sena.

Well then, let's get down to business. But, I have no idea where to begin…

Tsumugi: Would you like me to talk to him for you?

Shu: Mm. That would be great.

Tsumugi: Got it. Suou-kun, do you remember the other day when we talked about the café on Saison Avenue?

Tsukasa: Saison Avenue's…aah, yes. It's the Café that Aoba-senpai visits from time to time, right?

Tsumugi: That's right. The truth is, Shu-kun here seems to like that restaurant and is very disappointed about its closing.

Tsukasa: Ahh… Even though it can't be helped, it's hard to lose a place you've grown accustomed to, huh.

But don't worry. We won't close the Café while we're still deciding what to do with the place.

Whether it's renovation or demolition, it's going to cost a lot of money, and we need to carefully plan how we're going to make a profit after.

The owner has agreed to stay open until the plan is finalized.

Shu: It really doesn't change the fact that the store is closing someday. Is there no other way to keep the café alive?

Tsukasa: …I understand your feelings. The owner of the restaurant was also passionate about continuing the business as long as possible, and we're making up for the deficit by buying into their enthusiasm in the Suou family.

However, the current sales are not enough to make it a viable business. The subsidy from ES will not be permanent.

It's very difficult to say "all the time" because we are not a charity.

Shu: ……

Tsumugi: …Umm, can I have a moment?

It seems that Suou-kun also doesn't want the café to close so much as to make up the deficit.

Simply, if we can turn the café around, right?

Tsukasa: Uh, yes. Yes, you're right. But, I don't think it's going to be easy…

But it's worth a try. You never know what will happen to make things work out.

Tsumugi: Isn't that much more constructive than just sucking our fingers and watching?

Time is money. Let's get to work on a plan right away ♪ Shu-kun, do you have any ideas?

Shu: I'm not sure I want to be talked to all of a sudden.

An idea... A relaxing space, coffee with a rich flavor... I'd like to keep the goodness of that place intact.

Tsumugi: Yes, alright. I would like to promote and popularize the delicious loaf as well. How about you, Suou-kun?

Tsukasa: Me? Umm…

My apologies. I don't know what kind of place it is, I only visited it once when the owner asked me for advice.

Tsumugi: I see. Well then, let's start with the getting-to-know-it part.

I think we should tell the owner that we want to keep the café going, and Shu-kun and I only know the store from a customer's point of view, after all.

Shu: …Just like a fish out of water, huh, Aoba?

Tsumugi: Ahaha. I'm not a natural at running a business...but I'm familiar with it.

I grew up watching my mother who was a business owner. But oh well, she failed in the end ♪

Shu: Did you really have to say that with a smile?

Tsumugi: That was a long time ago. Now that I have experience as a director, I should be a little more dependable.

At least, more than I did when I was just watching from the side.

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Translated by machi

[voraciousvore]

Boarding School for Giants (14/25)

------ Chapter 14 ------

Joey was confused by my request, but humored me anyway, and brought me to a store nearby that specialized in sports and outdoor hobbies. 

“You realize that everything in here is going to be giant-sized, right? If you want to go fishing, you’re not going to find any equipment you can use,” Joey informed me. 

“I know. I’m counting on it,” I told him, not elaborating any further. I didn’t want to worry him or have him try to dissuade me from what I was plotting. I picked out some fishing line and a smaller fishhook suitably sized for my needs. The giant fishing hooks were all pretty fearsome, large and sharp enough to stab through me and turn me into live bait. I could hardly imagine a fish, really more of a leviathan, big enough to be caught on one of those. Joey bought the goods for me, which luckily were inexpensive. I left the store in high spirits. Joey was puzzled. 

“What are you planning to do with this stuff?” he asked as he carried me back to the school. 

“Well…” I figured it couldn’t hurt to tell him now, considering he had already bought the stuff for me anyways. “I’m going to make a grappling hook and use it to get my cellphone back. I know where it’s located. I saw the principal put it in the top drawer of his desk. I can get into his office, even if it’s locked, because I’m small enough to slip through the gap under the door. Then, I’ll use the hook to climb up, open the drawer, and reclaim what’s mine.” 

“That sounds risky,” Joey noted, pursing his lips in thought. “Although, the principal is rarely around on the weekends. You’re not likely to be interrupted as long as you go today or tomorrow. Why do you need your phone so badly, that you’re willing to risk getting in trouble like that?” 

“Trouble is my middle name!” I declared with a smirk. “But in all seriousness, I want to call my mom, and talk to her directly, without anyone else listening in. Find out what’s really going on, how she really feels. I want the truth from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.” 

“I see.” Joey was quiet for a while. “Eren, I’m sorry that things have been so hard for you here. I hope… I can help to make it better, at least.” 

“You’ve already done so much for me, Joey. I can’t thank you enough.” I could feel his pulse quicken slightly through his skin. I had noticed, since that incident where I almost ended up breakfast, Joey had forgotten about wearing a glove. His palms hadn’t been sweating, though, so I supposed he was getting more comfortable with carrying me around. In fact, he was being very protective, as if I was his responsibility to keep safe. His caring nature warmed my heart. 

We made it back to the school by late afternoon. Joey was thoughtful enough to stop by the lunchroom first and pick up my meal for me, so I wouldn’t have to bike all the way out to the main building for dinner. He then walked me to the human dormitory and set me down on the pavement outside. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways, promising to meet up again soon. I was tired, so I decided I would initiate my phone heist tomorrow, when the day was young again. I retired inside to rest and relax for the evening. 

Fortunately, nobody bothered me that night or opened the roof, so I slept in and woke up the next day feeling energized. I was ready to take my life back, to take charge again. I left the human dormitory and biked to the main building of the school with confidence, dodging falling leaves as I went. On the weekends the cafeteria served brunch, so I stopped there first so that I wouldn’t be doing a lot of physical activity on an empty stomach. I kept an eye out for my new giant friend, but to my disappointment I didn’t see him anywhere. The school grounds didn’t seem to be as busy as usual, perhaps because a lot of the giant students slept in or were away for the weekend. Regardless of the reason, I was grateful not to have to avoid as many giant feet or stares. 

I snuck out of the cafeteria and down the hall to the administration offices, which were all deserted and locked up. Away from prying eyes, I crept under the door of the principal’s office, dragging my bike along with me. The room inside was dark, since the light was turned off, but muted sunlight still filtered in through the blinds on the window. I leaned my bike against the wall next to the door, pulled out my makeshift grappling hook, and crossed the floor to reach the opposite side of the massive desk. Even though nobody was in the room except for me, I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise, as if the creep factor from the principal permeated his lair even when he wasn’t physically present. The room was eerily quiet, magnifying the sound of my steps as I walked. I had to remind myself that the principal wasn’t on campus, and there was no way for him to know I was here. 

I reached the gigantic, sturdy wooden chair behind the desk. All the furniture stretched high into the air above me. Getting into the drawer when it was so high up was going to be a daunting task. I swung the fish hook around on the fishing line until it had some decent momentum, then threw it up as high as I could. The first time, it clunked against the side of the chair and fell back down to the floor. I had to make several attempts before I finally got the sharp point of the hook to embed itself into the fabric of the chair. 

I braced myself for the monumental climb ahead of me, then grasped the line in both hands and pulled myself up, hand over hand. The physical requirements were grueling, and my muscles started to ache from exertion. I regretted not bringing any gloves as the skin on my hands began to burn. Nonetheless, I made it to the cushion of the chair, clambering up with a final surge of energy. I stopped to collect my breath, nursing my throbbing palms, and surveyed my surroundings to determine my next move. 

As luck would have it, the drawer I sought to get inside was within range of my grappling hook, and had been left slightly ajar. Another couple of swings and throws and my hook was successfully latched onto the handle. I swung out and scurried up the line, trying to ignore how high up I was off the ground. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if my hand slipped and I fell. Once I reached the handle, I hoisted myself onto it and sat down, dangling my legs over the edge. I wasn’t used to this sort of strenuous exercise, so I gave my arms another rest before proceeding. 

I hooked to the top of the drawer and climbed up, then vaulted over and fell inside with a thump. The tip of the hook had chipped the wood on the inside of the drawer. I hoped the principal wouldn’t notice, but I wasn’t overly concerned. The next step would be to find my phone among all the clutter inside. Office supplies, mostly giant pencils and pens bigger than me, littered the inside of the drawer. I sifted through the miscellaneous giant objects, squinting in the darkness of the drawer to spy my relatively diminutive phone hidden somewhere within. I regretted not bringing a flashlight. 

As I shuffled various things about, a small light suddenly appeared with the movement. My phone! I gleefully rushed over and dug it out from underneath all the junk. The battery was low, since the neglected device hadn’t been charged in days, but the lack of usage had preserved its limited battery life. I sighed with relief. I had just enough of a charge to make a phone call. Ignoring the other notifications and text messages from my friends, I pulled up my contacts and immediately called my mom. I anxiously waited while the phone rang, praying she would answer. I needed her to tell me the truth. 

The phone clicked and I heard static as someone answered. I held my breath. 

“Hello?” a groggy, slurred voice answered. It was her, but she sounded drunk. 

“Mom!” I blurted out, hardly able to keep in my excitement. “It’s me! I’m so glad to finally be able to talk to you!” 

A pause. “What do you want?” Her cold tone chilled my enthusiasm. I pressed onward anyway. 

“Mom, please take me back. I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s so scary being here around giants. I know you heard what happened to me, and I’m so afraid. Please.” 

Another pause. Followed by a long, drawn-out sigh. “Do you know why your dad really left?” I froze up. My mother had never been truly candid with me about his reason for leaving, yet another barb in our relationship. 

“W-why?” My voice sounded tiny and weak. 

“You were an accident. We never intended to have a kid together. We tried to make it work, but…” She choked, and her voice grew thick with tears. “…I tried my best, you know? I really did.” 

“W-what are you saying, Mom?” My voice sounded so far away, as if I was no longer tied to my body. 

“What I’m saying is… I give up. I tried to raise you right, but you turned into a little terror! You’re so damn ornery, I just can’t handle it anymore!” She was working herself up into one of her drunken rages. “I just can’t do it anymore! I’m done! I want you out of my life! I never want to hear from you again!” 

“You can’t mean that…” I said in disbelief. 

“Why the hell else do you think I sent you off to a boarding school for giants?! I know how dangerous they are to humans! I was expecting you to not come back! Don’t you get it?” 

My breath hitched in my throat. I felt nauseous, like I was going to throw up. The true horror of what she meant began to dawn on me. I was stung to my core. For once, rather than shouting back at her some snarky or pointed remark, I was rendered speechless. 

“Don’t ever call me again!” she snapped, and hung up on me.  

I stood there, inside the drawer, mouth agape, phone glued to my ear as if she hadn’t just cut me off. I was in shock. I felt as if my heart had been violently ripped out of my chest. All at once, the weight of all my troubles, all my sorrows, and the fresh wound from my mother’s betrayal slammed into me. It was all too much to bear. I collapsed into a heap in a pile of giant paper clips and sobbed.  

The truth was so much worse than what I had been expecting. I had been clinging to the hope, however futile and unrealistic, that perhaps there had been some sort of miscommunication, or misunderstanding, or maybe my mom had just been showing me some “tough love” to straighten me out. I hadn’t even imagined that she not only abandoned me, but was actively trying to kill me by intentionally dumping me in a dangerous place. The thought filled me with revulsion and despair. I had no will left, so I lay there crying, feeling small and insignificant inside the dark drawer, alone and broken. 

Next chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731606482091655168/boarding-school-for-giants-1525?source=share

1st chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731600430392639488/boarding-school-for-giants-125?source=share

[corinneecrivaine]

KIT AND JADE QUEER ROMANCE FANFIC

THE DAY YOU HEALED MY SOUL

PART 3

Title : Jade's Secret Havens.

The fishing port of The Brightly Stars Island was a picturesque place where colorful boats gently swayed on the crystal-clear waters. Sunlight bathed the area in golden light, creating sparkling reflections on the waves. The port was surrounded by small wooden cabins, each housing fishing equipment, nets, and crates for storing the precious sea bounty.

When Melissa and Scorpia arrived, Kael was already hard at work, busy unloading nets filled with freshly caught fish.

« Has the fishing been good, my love ? »

Kael stepped off the boat with a crate of fish, saying, « The waters have been generous today." Addressing his daughter, he added, "Scorpia, help me, take the other crates. »

The small boat, named « The Ocean's Foam » painted in bold white letters on the side of its azure blue hull, evoked both the wild beauty of the sea and Kael's dream of sailing the waves in search of lost treasures. This well-maintained vessel appeared to have seen countless adventures. Its white sails created a striking contrast against the deep blue of the hull.

As they worked together, Melissa called out to her daughter,

— Scorpia, honey, you went a bit too far with Kit.

— I want to know if she's worthy of joining our family business

— I know you want to protect us, especially your sister, but don't be too hard on her. I think she is going through tough times.

— I've noticed that, Mom, but... It's just that... I don't understand why Jade doesn't want to run the restaurant alongside me. She has the skills.

— Honey, everyone has their own dreams and aspirations. Let your sister follow her wishes.

Scorpia couldn't hide her anger. « What wishes!!! Those of going on adventures aboard the boat she's renovating with Dad's approval!!! This restaurant is our legacy, both of ours. Jade could help it grow with me! »

Kael intervened while remaining calm. « It's important to support your sister's choices, even if they differ from yours and ours. The restaurant will thrive under your management. »

Melissa gently placed her hand on her daughter's cheek to soothe her concerns. « I know you're worried about the day your sister will leave. You won't lose her. The bond between you two will never be broken by distance. »

Scorpia sighed.

— Come on, young lady, come help me, we still have work to do, all these fish won't wait.

*******

Jade was driving her hippie Beetle along the road lined with palm trees, with Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" playing in the background. She pulled Kit out of her thoughts.

— I want to apologize for my sister's behavior. She may seem tough and authoritative, but deep down, she's a very caring person.

— She's just trying to protect her little sister, Replied Kit with a smile.

— Sometimes a bit too much. She's going to be a tougher boss than our father.

— I think it's great that she's taking over the management. This restaurant is your whole life.

Jade sighed and turned to Kit. « "Yes, it is, but... Scorpia has always been the more responsible one of us two. She really wants to make the restaurant prosper, and that's commendable. She wants me by her side, but me... »

— What do you want ?

— My father left me a boat that I'm renovating with him. Oh, it's in perfect sailing condition, but I just want to make it more beautiful and give it a name. I want to see the world beyond this island. It's still a contentious issue between my sister and me, who believes it's my duty to manage the family business.

— I'm sorry, Jade, to hear that your dreams are a source of conflict with your sister. I know how important it can be to follow one's desires.

A sense of sadness washed over her as she thought of all the dreams Emma would never fulfill. Sensing her friend's sorrow, Jade decided to change the subject. « I'm going to take you to two beautiful places where I like to recharge. »

As they were carried away by the stroll, sharing stories and laughter, Jade's gaze was filled with tenderness and affection, revealing her desire to get closer to Kit. The young girl was avoiding this budding connection, her eyes getting lost in the passing landscape. Kit's heart was still trapped in the memories of her lost love.

« The first place I'm going to take you to is a natural sanctuary, a place of meditation for me. The perfect spot to recharge and connect with nature. »

Her demeanor, her gentle words, her smile, her passion for adventure, and the magic of The Brightly Stars Island all created a complex mix of emotions within Kit. On one hand, it was comforting to find certain qualities of Emma in Jade, but on the other hand, it stirred up the pain of loss.

« We've arrived. We'll have to walk »

The two young women left the old Beetle behind and entered a trail leading to the sanctuary. It was like stepping into an enchanting world where nature was at its peak. The narrow path wound its way through a lush forest where each tree seemed to tell an ancient story. The symphony of tropical birds adorned the atmosphere.

Excited to show her this place, Jade spoke with enthusiasm. « Welcome to the Natural Sanctuary. To access it, we have to cross this small wooden bridge lit by lanterns. Come, follow me. »

Kit followed her cautiously. Each step resonated on the wooden planks, and the soft light from the lanterns guided them until they reached the small pond of the sanctuary, surrounded by moss-covered rocks and tropical plants. The water was so clear that Kit could see the fish swimming among the colorful pebbles. She hesitated for a moment before plunging her hand into the water.

Jade smiled warmly. « You can, there's no risk. »

When the coolness of the water touched her skin, Kit felt a soothing sensation. The Natural Sanctuary was, in fact, a tiny island located at the center of this pond.

« It's a place of serenity and well-being. Somewhere you can find inner peace. That's why I named it The Serenity Sanctuary. It's my little secret refuge, » Jade spoke with a contemplative and gentle gaze.

She approached the lanterns arranged around them and turned a small crank beneath each of them. To Kit's surprise, a soft glow began to emanate.

« How do it work? » Kit asked.

« They're hand-crank lanterns. They're designed to work without electricity. It's a bit like making a wish every time I light one. I made them with my father. »

« Why did you bring me here? Why share your secret refuge with me? »

« Sometimes, it's nice to share a special place with someone who can understand and appreciate its beauty. Have a seat. »

They settled into small hammocks suspended, facing the pond, ready to savor the tranquility of the sanctuary.

« It's a beautiful place, isn't it? » Jade asked.

« Yes, it's wonderful. »

Kit looked at the pond, her eyes lost in the dancing reflections on the water, her gaze betraying a sense of melancholy. After a brief moment of silence, carried away by the serenity of the place, she let her thoughts escape aloud. « Emma would have loved this place. »

The mention of Emma intrigued Jade. « Emma? Who is she? »

She hesitated for a moment before responding, still gazing at the pond. « She was the most extraordinary person I ever had the chance to meet. »

Surprised to hear Kit using the past tense, Jade inquired, « Was? »

« She's gone. The illness took her a few months ago. »

« I'm truly sorry to hear that. » After a brief pause, she continued, « You came here for her. »

But Kit remained silent, her emotions still too raw to express with words. In this moment of calm, Jade glanced discreetly at Kit's right wrist, wrapped in a subtle bandage.

« Come, let's go see The Majestic Falls. »

The two friends ventured further into the lush vegetation of the island. Their footsteps echoed on the ground covered in leaves and gnarled roots. Each note of the living symphony carried Kit into a state of bliss. The birdsong was an intoxicating melody, and the insects provided a subtle percussion that added depth to this natural composition. She could catch glimpses of the vibrant colors of plumage as birds took flight among the branches.

As they continued, the sound of water grew louder, a soft and soothing murmur guiding them. Kit breathed deeply, letting the air of the tropical forest fill her lungs. The sweet, intoxicating scents of nature, a heady mix of fragrant flowers, rich earth, and invigorating humidity, enveloped her senses. Her keen eyes scanned their surroundings carefully. She ran her fingers along the delicate fronds of ferns, appreciating the slight velvety texture against her skin. Kit felt the coolness of the air like gentle kisses that awakened every inch of her skin.

Lost in her thoughts, she felt a hand on her arm. She startled slightly and turned her head to see Jade by her side.

« Be careful with the tree roots. It can be a bit slippery in places, » Jade cautioned.

When Kit heard the roar of the water, a shiver ran down her spine. She approached the edge of the pool, her breathing slightly quickened, and her pupils dilated. A spark of wonder and surprise danced in her eyes. A soft breath escaped her lips, as if it had been momentarily deprived of words. Her gaze got lost in the crystalline waterfall. She remained still for a moment, allowing herself to be enveloped by the fresh scent of swirling water, the soothing sound of droplets crashing against the rocks, and the gentle sensation of the moist mist on her skin. The echo of the waterfall's roar resonated in her chest, in tune with the beating of her heart.

« Wow... I didn't expect something so grand, » Kit exclaimed.

Jade's smile widened, pleased to see that Kit was sharing her enthusiasm.

« Come on, let's dip our feet. I warn you, the water is really cold. »

Kit turned to Jade, a smile spreading across her face, and followed her lead.

They removed their shoes and dipped their feet into the icy water.

Kit shivered. « Oh! It's really cold! »

« Yes, but it feels amazing. »

Fish darted between their toes, brushing against their skin and creating a tickling sensation.

The two friends burst into laughter.

However, behind this wonder, there was a pain that never left Kit, like a silent hovering shadow. Emma was always there, present in her thoughts, in every place she discovered. She felt a dull ache that mingled with her amazement. But she had to learn to live with this duality, to accept that the beauty of the world could coexist with the pain of loss.

« Let's go sit on those rocks, » Jade suggested.

The majestic waterfall cascading in a silvery curtain filled the air with its soothing melody, like a natural symphony that caressed their ears.

Kit spoke tenderly, as if her lost love were sitting beside her. « Emma, look at this, it's... magnificent. »

« I'm Jade, » she replied gently. « But I'm sure Emma would have loved this place. »

Kit felt embarrassed by her mistake and quickly apologized. « I'm sorry. »

« Don't worry. The beauty of this place can really make you feel close to those you've loved and lost. »

« It's just that... it was Emma's dream to come here. She would have loved to see this place. »

« It's wonderful that you want to honor her dream. But you have the right to create new memories. »

Kit took a deep breath, searching for the words to express her feelings. « Every memory I create in this place will be imbued with her presence in my heart and in my soul. »

After a moment of silence, Jade suggested, « How about we go shopping for the things you need? There's a small local market not far from here. »

« I'm with you. »

[lizbethborden]

I don't disagree that parrots are not for everyone. For example, I think that given my current lifestyle, I will not be buying another parrot when/if the creature passes away (I say "if" because I'm not unconvinced he's immortal, as 99.99% of his experiences in life seem to have been those things that have people saying "do not EVER do this to your parrot or you will KILL THEM!!!!!"--not intentionally, but because he was originally a pet store bird and then a family pet for whom I was not solely responsible, so he's been exposed to a lot). Parrots have a lot of extremely specific social, dietary, environmental needs that are just not at all understood or very little understood by the majority of the public.

I don't think they should be completely removed from possibility as a private pet, however. I do think that unethical breeding practices as well as trapping from the wild must end. But same as with any exotic pet--or any pet that has a breeding community--buying a hand-raised health-checked one from a reputable breeder, IMO, should still be a possibility. There is a background to this community, a history of health research and a community of vets available to work on birds, and a known set of standards amongst parrot owners regarding what is considered the proper way to acquire a parrot (again, from a reputable breeder that takes good care of their birds, hand-raises fledglings, and monitors the parrots' health and well-being; barring that from a rescue; NOT from a pet store, NOT trapped from a wild population, both of which are considered highly unethical). Birds acquired under these circumstances are not fennec foxes, sugar gliders, or other wild animals either bred in unmonitored and unsafe conditions or trapped/poached and illegally sold.

Moreover, I don't think it's fully sensical to argue that specifically because a parrot is not a domesticated animal and needs a certain quantity of social and environmental stimulation, that it should therefore be unavailable as a pet to the appropriate person. Snakes, lizards, fish, frogs, hedgehogs, etc. etc. etc. are also not domesticated. There are many communities of people passionately dedicated to their snakes, lizards, fish, frogs, hedgehogs, etc. etc. etc. and providing them a happy, healthy life, deeply spoiled and lovingly tended to, and often living long past their wild lifespan. Moreover, willingness to provide that quantity of stimulation required by parrots is a characteristic that should be sought out by breeders and rescues in potential parronts--and a quantity of vetting is standard practice in all animal adoption scenarios. I've known of rescues that wouldn't let you adopt a pair of mice if you didn't prove you could take excellent care of them and provide character references.

I'm not arguing that the scenario of having a parrot as a pet is perfect. I think it's reasonable to have ethical qualms about it and to be extremely critical of the modern visibility of parrots on the internet and social media, because of how the parrots in TikToks etc. are so often obviously mistreated, neglected, or simply not well-taken-care-of, and how people have this very specific idea of pwecious borbs in their head that simply doesn't align with the reality of having an extremely attached vicious wild-animal toddler with a mean beak in your house (or biting your tit, as often happens to me). But I also think that having ethical problems with parrot ownership on a broad level requires having ethical problems with pet ownership on a broad level, period--which is not to say that I disagree with raising those problems, but to say that parrot ownership specifically should not be singled out. As with any animal that is saturating our memeified, media-saturated cultural atmosphere, there is a likelihood of parrots being mistreated--just like dogs, cats, rabbits, teacup pigs, hedgehogs, snakes, rats, etc... There is also a community of passionate, dedicated, ridiculous human nerds out there absolutely devoted to building their birds aviaries, building them loving flocks, and ethically and responsibly giving birds the most adoring, wonderful 20, 30, 60-plus years of life they can--just as there are parallel communities for all of the above-mentioned animals.

[noro-noro-noro]

dreamed again

first bit was like I was playing w a stranger on a modded Minecraft server. no idea how any of it worked but there were weird caches that had skeleton eggs (?) like not skeleton spawn eggs but red eggs that had cursed purple skeletons in there on them. the person I was with also had several buttons labelled "oh fuck" in the overworld that wluld teleport you back to base. they were very blunt & businesslike. to the point. idk why I was there but I think I was like forced to live in there or whatever so that was also the world. most of the time I was inside trying to tend creatures.

actually this came before - I was bringing home a bag of small crabs & horseshoe crabs & also giant triops & other made up dream crustaceans. & an alien-like sea urchin made f 6 or 8 jointed segments that would extend its segments through anything slowly but surely to gain more nutrients. I got a HUGE tank and put it in my mom's living room & tried to amke them.comfy - I wasn't planning on keeping wild animals, but I needed to have them, so they light as well be in a better environment than a bucket of water. there were also several mid size dead and decaying animals I threw in for them to eat.there was also several isopods . one in particular was like a rubber duck one exceot with a white body instead and he was super interested and active. my sister wasn't scared of him

eventually the first tank was too full of water(we had no lids) and I realized the creatures might jump out so I asked my sister to help me drain water & she broke the whole thing. I tried to save everything but some of the tiny fish died while I was gettjng two new tanks setup. I threw them in for the crustaceans to eat, and eventually the second tank was devoured and eaten through by the special sea urchin that ate glass. and this happened BEFORE the Minecraft dream bc it then shifted into me taking care of mieceaft fish in our base.

scene shift & that person became wrio genshin. his story quest was now released....! and it was about helping those two researchers that hate each other but everyone thinks they're in a relationship bc they disappear to the infirmary at the same time all the time. this was a 3rd person dream where I was basically just watching the traveller as she assisted wriothy with helping the researchers as thry bickered the whole time. there was a scene where she went too far out of her way for them and got hurt and wrio came to visit her as soon as possible in the infirmiary and like grabbed her chin and leaned over very closely tp have the conversation. it seemed like she was about to be kissed & was like um !!!? 😳😳😳😳 and then the researchers peeked in and immediately started gossippibg like "and everybody says WE are in a relationship even though we hate each other and these people are RIGHT THERE doing this kind of stuff with the duke ‼️" & wrio kinda smilled & sighed & walked away to reprimand them like"do you really think spreading rumors about the Duke of the fortress of meropide, your employer, is a good idea?" & they eere like "no your grace sorry your grace see you later" & scurried off, & thr story quest ended with a cgg of rhe traveller doing that anime girl thing where thry look off to the side beet red and touch their lips where they were almost kissed, & wrio in the bg. I was like wow.they really went shippy with this one this never happens. even with ayaka and Xiao.

hm after that I had a dream I was with my sister at ?a beach resort or smth. there was a GIANT wall of makeup products including a bunch of really weird colors of eyeliner. I tested out a bright silver from a silver/orange/gold palette & actually genuinely really liked it,so I wanted to buy it without the rest of the pallette. apparently the owner of the brand was in the same town, so I told my sister I'd be back and walked over. the makeup store was also part hair salon - a girl was getting her hair died to have like a dark blue tint with kther rgb streaks in it & each streak that overlapped had like a sparkle illuminating that part, but the sparkle was dyed in..anywsy the whole place was run by a large and very friendly trans lady. I asked her directly aboit the eyeshadow I saw and also asked for a haircut since my split ends were acting up.in the dream I was also on my period & the lady said sympathetically "oh if you're on your perjod your splot ends get worse but we ca fix that!" & I was like okay.... and sat on the hairsresser chair, which was more of like a lounge chair than a normal one.

I don't remember if she actually did anything about the hair bc a lot of people I knew suddenly came inside. kt wasnow dark and raining outside. one of my studio classmates revealed that she'd lived in this shop before bc the owner kindly let her use the room upstairs for free after her landlord screwed her over. also the assistant from work showed up but younger? and I forgot her name and said it was ALMOND. so embarrassing. anyway I was just sitting in the chair for a while and texting y sister updates. when I asked again about the silver eyeliner, she revealed that they were leftovers shipped in from somewhere else & arrived here unlabeled, but she'd try to find the one I wanted for me.

eventually I went to walk home but the weather was so bad.... I was treated to another 3rdperson scene of lumine genshin impact waking up in a cozy bed in a strange room with leafy branches putsife the window and a warm sun shining through. wrio's Castle...? (even though he's only I charge of the underwater giant prison) then I woke up . I need to wash my hair but kts getting stixky again and I don't want to.

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

*/w group No.1*

As a team manager it's my job to motivate my team and help them in every which way possible. Never giving up is essential to being a Team Manager, if you want the spirit.

YOU GOTTA SHOW THE SPIRIT!!! NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

And you gotta make sure your Team is fully and we rested, so if they need a break you gotta give them a break! Overworking your body will just cause problems! And then your body wont be able to comprehend all the pressure and strength your forcing out and you'll hit the floor!

Its why I hated school, during P.E if we needed a break they'd make us do extra. That aint healthy in the slightest.

You gotta make sure your team always does these things: Rest, Stay well hydrated, and Eat. And dont forget Shit. Shitting is very important.

And if you wanna train your team to the max start off slow, give them plenty of breaks, and start working your way up, give them tasks to fulfill at home, obviously make 'em record it so you know they aint slacking. But making them do just the little things like going on a walk everyday for fifteen minutes, keeping that up really helps your body, obviously your legs will hurt, but thats from your old muscles breaking creating newer stronger muscles. And resting really helps that. You gotta take care of your team like they're your family, like a second family.

Guess thats just about it for me! Gonta?

Gonta will tell you all about Entomology! And why Bugs are really our friends!

I know you have arachnophobia Teru so this will help, although some spiders can be venomous they'll only ever bite if they feel threatened if you very gentle and careful with Spider, Spider will simply crawl on palm. Most spiders arent venomous at all, and they really help our houses, they keep away food flies and wasps that try and sting us, and they very friendly and do no harm at all. Most bugs are actually very friendly, like: Centipedes, Stink bugs, Ladybugs, Mantis, Earwigs, Ground beetle, Dragon flies, Silver fish, Crickets, Tachinid flies, Camel crickets, Braconid wasps, Lacewing, Soldier beetles, Cicadas, Walking sticks, Spined soldier bug, Minute pirate bugs, Roly polies, Nabidae, and Mealworms too! All very kind bugs! All our friends too!

You should come with Gonta and meet Gontas friends soon!! Gonta would be very happy to introduce you to all of Gontas bug friends!

Maybe during a time when I feel like it. At the moment, I'm not too keen.

As a chef my responsibilities are very diverse. There's a multitude of qualities that are a must when working in the culinary industry.

•  An absolute passion for food and cooking; •    A total commitment to cleanliness and personal hygiene; •    An ability to work under pressure; •    Time management skills; •    A balanced calm temperament and an ability to maintain equanimity in difficult situations; •    An acute sense of business so as to rake in profits for the organization; •    Good health so that one can spend long hours on their feet, lift heavy pots and pans, work in proximity to fire and heat; •    The ability to take criticism; •    The ability to work as a team member and mentor others once they become experienced enough; •    Has to have the flexibility to take the unconventional hours that the trade demands;

It's also important to have a very keen memory. I've made it my sworn duty to memorize not just recipes, but also my dear friends and families most favorite dishes. All their likes and dislikes are always stored in the back of my mind when needed, or written in note cards. Culinary is what you make it to be. You could take a calm slow and steady approach like with those nearby bakeries, cafes, and other various types of small stores. Or you could take on the big restaurants where business is always booming and you're constantly on your toes. Whatever seems to work for you. At times it's not easy, but nothing worth wild is ever really easy is it?

[thebanneredmareinn]

the scene that i was thinking of when i was complaining about not being able to draw. i would love to be able to draw this as a little comic. alas.

it's almost 700 words. i'm actually thinking of tweaking this story to fit in a fantasy type setting and maybe figuring out how these two met and got to where they are now.

The air was cooling down and George draped a blanket over his shoulders while Sean added another chunk of wood to the fire. The tent was pitched and ready for the night, the horses snoozing nearby. Sean looked up at the stars, clear and bright against the black velvet sky. George looked at Sean. The moonlight reflected in his eyes, made his skin seem to glow. Road dirt dusted his clothes, his sandy hair was getting long, and his beard was in need of a trim. George’d never seen a sight so beautiful. Sean laughed when he noticed George staring at him and came closer to settle back against his chest, body tucked in between George’s bent legs and head resting on his shoulder. Naturally, George closed the blanket and his arms around Sean, holding him firm while they watched a wispy cloud drift in front of the moon.

If he let his mind wander, George could almost convince himself that it might not be so bad if he and Sean were to be seen together. Maybe they could have a drink in a bar and leave in the same shape they went in. But he could remember all too clearly the last time they’d tried. Sean had the scar on his face to remind him why they could never be too close when people were around. He knew they could never build the shop that he often thought about. No one would buy from a couple of queers, no matter how well-made the goods were, and the store would go out of business if it was burned down first.

But more than anything, George wanted to build a home to share with Sean, even if they had to do it away from civilization. They could take care of themselves, they’d been doing that for years. Sean had brought it up before, while they’d been on the hunt for a robber hiding up north. A little log cabin on the edge of the big lake up there. There were plenty of fish in the water and game in the forests. They could be comfortable.

Sitting there, in the dark of the night with Sean nestled in against him and the warmth of a fire nearby, he thought he would be more than happy to spend the rest of his days in that cabin. On a comfy stuffed chair near a fireplace with Sean squeezed in beside him and a hound snoring on a rug at their feet. Going to sleep in a real bed, stretched out with Sean’s head on his chest. Or his head on Sean’s chest—he wouldn’t be picky about it.

The longer he thought about it, the more possible it seemed. That lake was tucked into a hard-to-reach spot in the foothills of the mountains. The nearest settlement was more than thirty miles away, reachable by horse in a day or two with good weather given the difficult terrain—twice that on foot. The last time they’d been up there, George had spotted a nice flat area far enough away from the water to not worry about flooding from a heavy rain…

“What’re you thinkin’ so hard about?” Sean wondered, feeling George’s arms tighten around him. He trailed his fingers over George’s hand, waiting for a response.

George was quiet for a moment, still lost in thought, but then he answered, “I want to build that cabin.”

Sean tipped his head to look up at him. “What cabin?”

“Up by the lake,” George said, eyes still trained on something far away. “Like we talked about. Do you remember?”

“By the mountains, you mean?”

George nodded, already planning. “We could fetch a couple more bounties, use the money to buy some tools—saws, hammers, nails. There’s plenty of—” He only stopped when Sean kissed his whiskered cheek, warmth rushing to his chest. Then he forced himself to settle down. “What do you think? Do you want to build a real home with me, Sean? A place for us to hang our hats when we’re done with this business?”

Sean smiled and not a single star in the sky could compare.

“Of course I do.”

[timeoverload]

I am so worn out and emotional. It wasn't the best day. It seemed like things kept going wrong. I felt like I couldn't breathe all day. I didn't even take my full lunch break because I had a pile of stuff waiting for me in decontam. I just had to eat something because I was so hungry. It was a lot busier than I expected it to be and I didn't have any help. The only person that could have helped me went home sick.

The girl who went home was acting erratically when she got to work at noon. I was coming back from lunch and she was banging on the door to our department because she had left her badge at home and needed someone to let her in. She kept doing it after she saw me which was weird because she knows I could badge her in. I let her in but she was acting very strange the entire time she was at work and it was confusing. I feel like she has been a little more aggressive lately. I am concerned about her but it also seems like she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. She is the same girl that invited me fishing last summer but then uninvited me because I didn't have my own kayak and fishing stuff. She is hard to read and I know she has a lot of mental health issues. I believe she told me she had bpd and I know that can make relationships difficult. It still makes me sad because we get along so well sometimes and I enjoy working with her. She told someone that she was going to go work in the basement if a position opened up down there because she wants to work with people who actually respect her. That hurts my heart because I try so hard to be nice to her. I'm not sure how I could have disrespected her because she doesn't communicate. I just told her that I was proud of her a few weeks ago but she didn't think I meant it. I remember training her and I was so patient even though she said some pretty nasty things to me. She got help since then and I thought she was doing better but I'm pretty sure she's drinking and doing a lot of drugs again. She wants to work in the basement with someone she knows can get her what she wants. It's just sad but there's nothing I can do. I feel bad talking about her on here but it has been bothering me all afternoon. I hope she takes care of herself and I will continue to be nice to her. I know she's a good person.

I am glad there hasn't been a lot of drama otherwise. I am getting along with everyone else for the most part. Social interaction is exhausting for me though.

My car seemed to be working better today so that's good. I didn't have to make any stops so that probably helped too. I suppose if I can make it through the next couple days, I will try to drive to my appointment on Friday. I am still very nervous about it so hopefully I make it. I should probably try to go to the store tomorrow just in case.

I also remembered earlier that I haven't done my taxes yet so I need to do that this weekend. I'm not looking forward to that but I know it shouldn't take that long. I usually try to get them done sooner but I guess I have been worried about other things so I forgot about it. I wish I didn't have so much to do at home.

Anyway I am exhausted and I can't think anymore. I'm not that hungry but I ate a lot earlier. Someone also brought cookies so I had some of those. Normally I don't eat a lot of sweets at work but I have been craving a lot of sugar. I have been drinking more sugar free drinks now so I think my blood sugar is too low sometimes. I'm not sure because I don't have a way to check my blood sugar. I know I'm not diabetic but a lot of people in my family are so I worry about that.

I don't have much else to say. I am going to get ready for bed and relax now. I need to go to sleep early I think. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. :) 💖💖💖

[dewcrafter]

Tea and sketches (pt. 4 of the painter)

It's been a week since I met Omi Omi, his name is Sakusa Kiyoomi but i'm sticking to calling him Omi Omi which he doesn't seem to mind and it turns out he actually had a name for me throughout the years and it was lotus because the first drawing he ever drew of me was me smelling a lotus, samu says that one of the lotus's meanings is rebirth which got us both thinking about our art and throughout the week we've been looking through old art, getting Omi Omi's dad and my mom to dig out old art that wasn't easy to find but we got enough to really show that we were really drawing things from our perspective and with the pieces together it showed a beautiful story, well that's just my opinion I don't know how Omi Omi feels about it all but he seems content "lotus?" said Omi Omi, catching my attention 

"yeah?" I asked looking up from the green tea I was zoning out at 

"we should make a painting together" he said, making my mind race for what we could paint together "yeah! What should we paint?" I asked curiously 

"why don't we paint this" he said looking away and to his koi as he threw some food in for them "that's a great idea!" I said smiling at him as I pulled the lotus tea cup to my lips to take a sip, he had a very cute lotus tea set the cups we're all blue with little lotus plants and petals with fish in the background while the tea pot was shaped with a lotus flower as the top with fake vines covering the handle and the body of the teapot faded from the flower head to underneath the painted water showing a koi and the stem of the beautiful flower "you really like the teapot huh?" said Omi Omi making me look away from it's beauty to an even lovelier sight 

"yeah, everything in your house is so mesmerizing" I said looking away at the surrounding area "I can't believe you paint and also do ceramics and it's so cool how your the definition of perfection at both" I said thinking back to his collection of ceramic fruit cups that are literally the cutest things ever. 

After tea we went off to a a very popular art store called Sekaido Art Supplies and there we bought a 20x40 in canvas, after getting the canvas and stopping by my house for some extra paint and my easel we went back to Omi Omi's house and sat down on a tarp he put on his floor and got to work sketching our sides of the canvas, often getting up to stare outside and put together all the pieces of the scene. 

After hours of talking and sketching we found that the sun had set and it was getting dark so I grabbed my things, said goodbye to Omi Omi and headed home on the walk home I thought about Omi Omi and how he calls me lotus, the nickname I like it and it's very cute but talking to him reminds me of how in three months i'll be joining the volleyball team MSBY black jackals in osaka which is really exciting and all but i'll be not only leaving my twin in tokyo but also now Omi Omi and I guess suna too but it's also so exciting to get back into volleyball again I finished up my thoughts when I got home to see the lights still on which was weird because samu was usually totally out of it after work so I walked in to make sure he didn't pass out on the floor from overworking himself "atsumu!" he said when I opened the door "where have you been!? It's been more than 6 hours since you left the house to go hang out with Sakusa and you're only getting back at 11?? Are you serious i've been worried if he killed you for goodness sake" he said storming over to me making me huff out a little laugh "you sound like ma" I said not really caring about his concerns "yeah yeah whatever" he said annoyed "don't ever come home this late again or I swear ima file a police report" he said crossing his arms 

"chill out samu I can handle myself perfectly fine" I said walking into my room and setting my things onto my table "what were you two even doing today?" questioned samu as he leaned against my door frame like a whore "drinking tea in his lovely backyard and feeding the koi and then he came up with the idea to paint a portrait together so we went to the store and bought a canvas and then while you were at work we dropped by and grabbed some extra paint to store at his for when we get to painting and then we started our sketching of it" I said happily 

"jeez what's with that love sick grin of yours" said samu frowning making me glare at him 

"well I bet it's the same smile you give sunarin when it's just the two of you" I fired at him 

"yeah okay so what's got you so into sakusa?" questioned samu 

"everything!" I said plopping down on my bed, getting the hint he walked over and layed down with me "did you hear the nickname he gave me!?" I questioned excitedly 

"yeah it's lotus" said samu sticking out his tongue and making a gagging gesture 

"yeah it is and it's ADORABLE" I said "just hearing him say lotus and knowing that i'm lotus is just so-" I said kicking my feet in happiness 

"yeah well suna calls me Hibiscus" said samu in his stupid i'm better than you tone 

"okay and? Lotus is a way cuter nickname" I said rolling my eyes 

"well lotus only means beauty, purity, prosperity and eternity while the hibiscus means love at first sight, beauty, love and emotional healing" said samu gloating about it 

"well at least lotus sounds way prettier than hibiscus and isn't a mouthful" I said shoving him lightly "yeah whatever you gremlin" he said sliding off my bed and walking off to his own, closing the door on his way out "GOODNIGHT SAMU" I yelled after him 

"GOODNIGHT TSUMU" he yelled back. 

[talldarkandroguesome]

4th of Rain’s Hand, Tirdas

We have seen all the properties now. The one in Ebonheart was well maintained, but it is not a particularly suitable abode for Sildras with the arcane interest that he bears. It is designed far more for leisure and luxury than for anything practical.

Uncle Urnel’s home was, as I had suspected, the one that SIldras was the most delighted with. He had been there before, of course, though it has been nearly a year since last visit. He was excited when he saw the stores for arcane ingredients and the vast library. Uncle Urnel was never much for dicing into the reading side of things and he kept the alchemical stores mostly for a friend of his, who has recently passed.

The whole place is spectacularly furnished, but practical. It is not as though uncle Urnel was the consummate socialite, he kept to himself for the most part. He is very good with numbers and has always helped with maintaining the House treasury. As such, he tried to minimize his own spending. He keeps his staff well and his home besides, but does little for himself unless it is necessary.

The home itself reflects this attitude, and knowing Sildras as I do, I believe it shall be kept in a similar manner. Sildras will, I am sure, be putting most of his personal funds into books and spell components.

His sisters ran around the house and climbed the pillars and shelves in various rooms, as is their habit. And, as I am growing used to, I went behind the anxious staff to reassure them that the girls were natural climbers and that unless they were in danger of harming something, to simply let them have their fun.

Later that night I met with uncle Urnel. It was so good to see him. I fear for his health, though. He has lost quite a bit of weight. He seems to have aged a century since our last meeting. He does not seem to be sleeping.

Of course he dismissed my concerns, saying it was just the weight of being Grandmaster in such a political climate. I feared for what that truly might mean. My plump, jolly uncle was now lean and worn, as though he had been left too long in the sun and dried up. Deep wrinkles have formed above his brow that I cannot recall being there before.

We met by the lake outside of the Temple where we went fishing. I know that he must miss being able to go fishing whenever he had a moment free. The meeting was as much an excuse to fish as it was to discuss the deed and title. He had a solicitor along with him and an order was drawn up for the delivery of title upon Sildras’ completion of his apprenticeship and his official presentation into adult society.

I know that uncle Urnel wants to share the news sooner, but I asked that he present this gift upon Sildras’ nameday. He is turning twelve, after all. It is a bigger birthday and it will be such a joyous gift. I only wish that Sildras could have all of his siblings there. Perhaps I could try to persuade Nabine to let the girls come. If I gain some grand blessing, perhaps I could even persuade the Clan Mother to allow Qau-dar to bring Little Khes, well, she is likely to be all grown up by then. But if they could come, and any of the other of the spouses and children who would be interested. I know it would be a great gift for Sidlras to be able to see them all.

Besides, the House wants me to get Qau-dar and our spouses’ permission regarding this mistress nonsense, it would be the perfect time to take care of all of that. I will have to submit my request in writing.

I shall do this immediately. I have precious little time to be able to find the clan, who will soon be to the gathering place of the clans. Yes, I imagine they are already traveling there now. It is my chance to find them. This is not something to chance at a letter that may only reach them every month or few months. This has a time pressure upon it.

There is still some time before the Council closes its session, I need to get this request to them today. It would be the greatest gift I can provide my son.

[elisethetraveller]

Unsurprisingly, Renata's words were entirely accurate. The adaptability of Zaun and its people was impressive, and it was a trait she was thankful for when it came to teaching her new mages. While there were conflicts over allegiances, petty grievances or where they should move next, no one questioned the base decisions necessary for their continued survival. As soon as a decision was made and agreed upon, that was how things were, simply because dwelling on issues for too long or digging one's heels in could prove dangerous.

Elise still had problems with how much weight her voice carried in discussions, but it was to be expected. She could understand the issues with wanting to disagree with a person who was not only many times your senior but who, a couple of days a week, spent their time teaching you. A lot of her students seemed to expect her to already know the solution to any problems they faced as a group. However, some older members were starting to get comfortable standing their ground during disagreements, and even if it could be annoying when the mage felt she was right, Elise was also glad for it. Many of them had a far better understanding of the undercity than she could ever dream of getting, not to mention that several minds would always be better than one.

"Was the seafood as good then? Or better?" She could imagine cleaner waters would yield better fish. "I must admit I am not entirely sure how large Noxus is, though the word empire does imply that it is sizable." Elise had seen maps of the world, but with no desire to move beyond Zaun unless forced to, she had not cared to commit anything to memory. Perhaps it would be wise to acquire a map? If nothing else, then to add to her notes and journal. "Meritocracies have their benefits, though they rarely mean fewer people for me to help." Which was ultimately a big part of how Elise measured societies. A meritocracy was still better than the oppression Zaun faced, and one could say Zaun itself was a meritocracy, but there was no denying that a society based on the strong often left the weak behind.

"You don't have to tell me twice." The mage admitted with a mournful smile. "But it is important that we stay out of the enforcers' sight, not to mention all the chem-barons who have suddenly decided they want to become our best friends." It was a precarious balance, with all the budding powers wanting to monopolize the magic for themselves. "However, it is good practice. A mage needs to be able to move around and adapt to a hostile environment." Of course, for her training, that had meant long hikes and sleeping in mountains and forests, but for the new mages, this kind of survival was what they needed to learn.

Picking her glass from the table with a gracious nod, she smelled it before taking a curious sip. It wasn't so much because Elise expected it to be bad, poisoned, or something along those lines, but instead, she wanted to get a sense of it. Wine, and most other alcohols, were not something she indulged in often, as it was expensive and took more than a store's worth to get her properly drunk. However, that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the taste.

"You are right; it is spicier than the wine you find here." It would make for excellent mulled wine. Tilting her head, Elise considered the proposal. Honestly, she was tired of the political games. It had never been an aspiration of her's to be a leader. However, Renata was also correct. There was this peculiar space between them now. "I don't think so, unfortunately." Sighing, she ran a hand through her white hair. There was a sizable pause before she spoke again. "However, that doesn't mean I won't answer your question. As I said, we have been dealing with enforcers trying to round us up and…well, I am honestly not sure what their plan is if they catch us. A place like Stillwater wasn't exactly designed to hold mages." There had already been cases of one or two of the younger mages being caught by the enforcers, but it hardly took any effort to break them out.

“That sounds like Zaun. We’ve always been good at making the best out of a bad situation, or chaos. There might be struggles between groups, and what not however in the end Zaun continues.” If it’d been a perfect stranger, or someone she knew less well Renata might have been bothered by Elise glancing at the maps. As it was however she let it be. Best case scenario Elise and her would be able to come to some sort of arrangement she hoped, but worst case Renata assumed would be a vague kind of neutrality. It wasn’t as though Renata had any intentions of making an enemy of someone that could be a friend much less the mages she had taught after all.

The question about Noxus got a little nod. “By and large yes. There are areas of it that stretch up into the Freljord that are cold, but I went to a coastal city. Perhaps a bit predictable as Zaun, and Piltover are by the sea but I didn’t want to have to accustom myself to an entirely new diet. Going to a place with some type of sea food seemed best. It was an interesting place. I fully understand why people wouldn’t want to be conquered by Noxus, and I won’t claim their empire is “the best” place or anything however I do respect their desire for people to be strong and their professed ideals considering a meritocratic society. It was… Nice in a way. Seeing a place where if you strive hard enough be it with fighting, or magic, or even crafting or trade or anything almost you can become respected. Not like here were push come to shove a Zaunite is always from Zaun, and a Piltie is always from Piltover.”

As she spoke she got a container of wine, and glanced to Elise. “Really? You all move around that much? You need a more permanent spot to settle. Something stable. As for Noxian wine I like it. Stronger than what Piltover enjoys, and it has a bit of warmth to it. Some of their wines actually have a bit of spice to them. A bit of a kick. This one doesn’t, but I have one that does.”

Down the hallway Elise had glanced was nothing particularly interesting. Nothing had been placed on the walls, and a large door at the very end no doubt led to Renata’s bedroom. A door was left open that looked like a broom closet, and to be fair had a few cleaning supplies as well as a broom tucked inside however on the upper shelves if one looked high enough there was also a small collection of short swords and pistols. A couple of other doors were half open at most leading into a den type area, or another extra bedroom. Without going down the hallway to examine things more thoroughly however it was hard to say exactly what the other doors led into, or how the rooms were set up.

Pouring a glass of wine for both of them Renata settled down in a large comfortable chair that had likely been custom made for her setting the glasses, and the bottle onto the coffee table. Offering a friendly smile she let out a soft chuckle. “Is there any way to ask for more details about all these things you’ve been trying to keep up with, and not sound like just another prospective chem-baroness pushing for information?” It was partially a joke, but also partially not as she didn’t actually want to shift things from a friendly reunion to a business meeting. At least not yet. However Renata was also well aware that there was only so much time to get properly established in Zaun, and so she wouldn’t be able to blame Elise if the other woman took things in a way not quite intended. Besides she would absolutely use the information Elise offered regardless just out of instinct even if not against Elise herself. It was a bit of an awkward situation in a certain light, but she was trying.

[chillassimagines]

Pretty Eyes (Josie Saltzman Smut)

REQUESTED: Can you please make a smut fic with josie from legacies and reader? Reader is shy and it's the first time she likes a girl. Josie tries to help her relax by turning her on and pleasing her. Lots of dirty talk fingering eat out but she goes slow. Reader is shy but josie finds it cute. Thank you !

~

“Sooo, you never decided on where to go for our next date?” You looked up and Josie Saltzman was sat right next to you.

“I know you wanted us to take turns, but I don’t really know anywhere good enough.” You admitted sheepishly to the girl you were currently taking out. Nevertheless, Josie smiled at you and grabbed your hands.

“That’s alright, we can do a movie night for your turn. But I expect some research on the next date night spot!” She squeezed your hands and made a pointed look. You laughed softly, more to yourself.

“Y-Yeah. I promise, Josie.” You took the warning with appreciation for her patience. She nodded and kissed your cheek before getting up and leaving. You turned back to your school books with a problem brewing inside of you.

You wanted to be a good girlfriend, even though you weren’t labeling things right now, and that was at your request. You had never been with a girl before and it was the first time a girl wanted to pursue you. Especially as much as Josie did. She seemed far more comfortable with the ideas of touching you and kissing you. You were just terrified you wouldn’t be good enough for her because of your inexperience.

“You alright, Y/N?” You looked up again to find Hope. Hope seemed like a great person, but Josie still had mixed feelings. Mr. Saltzman clearly doted on Hope, and you could tell how it made Lizzie and Josie feel. But he never did anything more for Hope than he would do for the twins.

“Uh, yeah. Shit! She never told me when movie night was.” Your thoughts of Josie interrupted you. Hope’s eyes widened slightly.

“Trouble in paradise?” You shook your head.

“No, no. Josie’s great, it’s more of me and my insecurities, to be honest.” You sighed and shut your books. Hope sat down and leant on her elbow.

“Y/N, I can tell you that Josie really likes you just the way you are. If there’s anything I can say about her, it’s that she’s very accommodating to those that put in the effort. That’s at least how our relationship is getting better.” She looked off into the distance towards the end. You nodded and shrugged.

“It’s more of my own head. I know Josie cares about me and I care so much about her. I guess I should get ahold of her to set up movie night.” You pulled out your phone.

“She loves peach rings, by the way.” Hope added before leaving you alone once more.

~

You nearly collapsed as you opened the door to your room and let your grocery bags fall to the floor.

“Never doing that again.” You grumbled, picking up the bags one by one and putting them on your side table. This is what happens when you procrastinate shopping for movie night. To be fair, you procrastinated a few of your assignments until last minute, so they got in the way of you going to the store…

You made sure you had everything as you put the ice cream and sodas in your mini fridge. The candy, chips, and popcorn packages were laid out in an organized form on your table. You felt like you were missing something…but then a knock sounded on your door.

“Hey! I brought a few different movies, not sure what we were in the mood for. I’ve got Friday the 13th, a horror choice. Friday and Friday After Next, and I got them both because they’re binge worthy comedies. Marley and Me, don’t know why I brought this one because I usually bawl my eyes out. Annnd,” Josie dug into the bottom of her bag to fish out the last movie. “Romeo and Juliet! Personally, I think me and you should star in the remake.” Her smile was bright and made you instantly smile back.

“Well, that sounds like the perfect pick. Personally.” You teased at the end, feeling slightly at ease, because you were terrified you wouldn’t have anything to watch. You opened the door wide and gestured for her to come inside. She entered and went straight for your TV.

“Yes! Peach rings are my favorite.” She noticed the candy laid out. You set a mental reminder to thank Hope later.

“I’ll be sure to remember that. See if they have a peach ring factory to tour or something.” You joked, making Josie scoff.

“They would get my money, I’ll say that.” She grabbed a package and the remote. “Let’s get comfy!” She gestured to the bed while looking at you. You nodded and kicked off your shoes. Finding a snack and grabbing you both a drink, you then plopped onto the bed next to her.

The movie was carrying on, with each of you adding commentary. Either in confusion of the old English usage, in excitement, or criticizing the movie itself.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that you have really pretty eyes, Y/N.” Your eyes widened in surprise of the sudden compliment. You turned to Josie and smiled.

“Uh, I try not to damage the merchandise.” This caused her to erupt in laughter. She shook her head at you and readjusted her cuddling position.

“You know you can accept a compliment right?” Your eyes widened further.

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry! I mean, thank you.” You said with guilt. Josie brought her face closer to yours, looking into your eyes.

“What am I going to do with you?” Her lips connected with yours, causing your eyes to close. The kiss was soft and gentle. You felt one of her hands rise to your face as she broke the kiss. This wasn’t the first kiss you shared with Josie, but there weren’t a whole lot of other things you’ve done besides share that same sweet kiss.

“I hope, um, I hope that you have a good time when you’re with me, Jos.” You spoke softly, but with sincerity. She sighed and you immediately panicked.

“Of course I have a great time with you, Y/N! Getting to know you and spend time like this has been one of the best parts of my life. Like, top three…and you’re number two.” She teased.

“And what’s number one?”

“Being here at this school. It also led me to you.” She pressed her lips to yours once again. Your hand went to hold her by her waist. You felt her body adjust and begin to straddle you. This caused you to tense up. “Hey, it’s okay. I know you get shy sometimes, Y/N. But there’s nothing to be scared of, not with me.” Her lips were a whisper away from yours and you snatched them right back. You held her waist gently as she pulled back and took off her shirt. She leaned back down to kiss along your neck.

“Jos.” You whispered out to her, gripping her waist a tad tighter. Her hands pushed up on your top and though you were nervous you allowed her to remove it. Only nervous because you didn’t want your lack of experience to disappoint Josie.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” She praised you and fisted your breasts in her hands. Your eyes widened slightly, the feeling being foreign. “Give into it, nothing bad will happen.” She encouraged you as she moved down to your bottoms. She moved back from straddling you and instead knelt between your bare spread legs.

“Please.” You said so softly, you were surprised that Josie heard you. She smirked.

“Eager for adventure I see. And I’m here to please.” Her bottom remained up in the air, the short sleep shorts being swallowed up by her thighs. Her face facing your panty covered core. “You like this?” She questioned as she dragged her fingers over your mound.

“Yes.” You moaned, biting your lip to muffle it. Josie ran her hands up and down your thighs.

“Mmm, this pretty pussy…all for me.” Her dirty talk threw you. Her tongue shot out and dragged up against your barely covered sweet spot.

“Take em off.” You huffed, impatient. Josie was quick to follow along with the request. Your panties were discarded and replaced by Josie’s wet tongue. “Oh my god!” You cried out as the pleasure became immense.

“You’re gonna cum for me tonight, baby. Fall apart on my tongue, forget that shyness.” Her hands gripped your thigh and waist, diving back into your throbbing heat. You whimpered and grabbed her hair, careful not to pull too hard.

“Right there! R-Right there…” Your breath caught and your eyes rolled back. You felt your first orgasm rock your entire being. Josie dipped a finger inside of you, making you let out another gasp.

“You wanna try?” She asked, looking up at you before sucking the very same digit that had been inside of you. You bit your lip nervously.

“I don’t wanna mess it up.” She nodded and sat up on her knees.

“Then you can just touch me.” She grinned and pushed her shorts aside to showcase her bare lower lips. You nodded and sat up. You dragged your fingers down her stomach and pressed two fingers inside of her shorts.

“Jesus.” Your fingers slipped right inside of her, soakingly. You pressed your lips against hers and began pushing your fingers up to speed.

“Y/N, your fingers are so big.” She whined pornographically against your lips. Her hips began moving in accordance.

“Seems like what you want from here.” You whispered back.

“Naughty girl…touch yourself too, baby.” She encouraged. Her hand grabbed your free one and soaked your fingers in her saliva. You didn’t hesitate in beginning to rub your clit quickly. The hype you created for yourself affected the speed of the hand in Josie’s pants. She began whimpering more, speeding up her hips in accordance to your heightened speed, and the sweat on her forehead gave it all away.

“I love you.” You moaned and felt as Josie’s pussy tightened and clenched as she came. You followed right behind.

“I love you too, Y/N.” Josie sighed out as your bodies leant against each other.

[libraford]

I owe you all a story about kittens. But its about... a little more than kittens. It's a long one.

I want to tell you all about the kittens, which took place in 2019. But in order to do so, I have to take you back even further, to March of 2018, and concludes in 2021. Because it's about kittens, but it's also about business and all the things that can go wrong.

In March 2018, tragedy struck. The owner of the flower shop died unexpectedly, leaving the business to four capable managers. One of those managers was the man that had hired me, leaving a power vacuum at our location. Grandpa was not the first choice to take the lead, but she stepped up and she became manager. In my opinion, there was no better person for the role: she had only ever worked in the flower industry (assuming we're not counting the one week in 1976 when she worked at a pizza parlor,) and as such she knew the business inside and out.

Prior to this, she had taught all of the designers and practically ran the place when the boss was out, so it was the next logical step. And it was good.

Of course, we had our ups and downs. What I did not realize when I joined the flower shop is that the flower industry is volatile- there are so many variables that went into the creation of floral pieces and if there is one misstep you can be set back anywhere from a day to several thousand dollars. There are late deliveries, there are frightening brides, there are missing piñatas… van fires, flower snobs, color corrections, failed psychics, friends, enemies…

You can set the bar so very low and yet…

The rise and fall of drama at this particular flower shop could be dictated into hours and minutes because sometimes you need to hire people just to fill that space. Grandpa was on record by saying 'if they can walk, talk, and spell their name, hire them.' Even so, we were critically understaffed most of the time because if you hire anyone you're going to get a lot of quitters.

It's a tough cycle to break, and our power was limited.

And we had bigger fish to fry: we had an average of thirty funerals, two weddings, and well over six hundred deliveries per week. Business was booming and we just had to keep up- if you make it one week after the next it doesn't feel so bad.

By March of the following year, the four owners had whittled down to two: my former boss and the former webmaster. We had a district manager now, some kind of accounts position… things like that. It was kind of astonishing that before this, all the work had been done by a single man. But the secrets to his success had died with him.

Things were looking good, actually: the flower business was full of life! We were doing all kinds of special events, starting contracts with businesses and getting our name out there. Drama still plagued us, but as far as I'm aware, that's par for the course for flower shops.

Then, in May 2019, tragedy struck. A tornado ripped straight down the street of our headquarters, demolishing the greenhouse and the historical building that it all started in. No one was injured, but the damages were devastating. Despite all this, we kept working.

We worked hard. And hard. And hard.

And though the new warehouse wasn't slated to be finished until 2021, we reached an equilibrium where things were okay.

But before I get to that, I made a promise to you.

It was a hot day in August and I was walking into my closing shift at 10am. After two years of working with roughly the same people, you got to learning how to tell when something was happening. I walked in to everyone staring at me and acting 'natural.' It never looks natural.

In the back of the store, there was a box that Cherry was standing very purposely in front of.

"What's in the-"

"Sh!" Grandpa spied through the window in the cooler door as someone swung out with a purchase. "Did you find something you like," she asked the customer, trotting over to help him at the register.

"What's happening," I asked Blue.

"Nothings happening, it just kind of… happened."

"Blue… what does that MEAN?"

"There's a customer here, I can't talk about it."

I am bursting at the seams to know what's going on.

Grandpa fared the customer well and went back to her station behind the computer. "Open the box," she said.

Ominous, but okay. I go over to the box and Cherry steps aside. There's something moving inside the box and I wonder if Pam's daughter had folded herself into a box to ride out a panic attack again. I carefully opened the flaps of the box and accidentally disturbed the sleep of-

Four.

Tiny.

KITTENS!

Oh my god, it was the most adorable thing in the world and the poor things were screaming because they had only known the world for a few weeks and everything was strange and blurry and all they knew to do was cuddle for warmth and scream. The box consisted of two black kittens, one tuxedo kitten, and a white seal-point with terminal eye goop.

They immediately started climbing up my arm.

"Not that I'm not thrilled, but… why?"

"Stray cat left her babies out by my pond and wasn't just gonna leave the little fuckers," Grandpa said. The seal-point made it all the way up my shoulder to scream in my ear and stare at me with one clear blue eye. "That one's name is Pop-eye. He's my favorite."

"Jake doesn't get along with them," I surmised. Jake was Grandpa's Australian Shepherd. He was old, blind, deaf, and losing his sense of smell. And he was ornery.

"First thing he did was sit on Pop-eye. So they're gonna be at the shop during the day until we can get them all homed. Know anyone that needs a kitten?"

So, for awhile, we had shop cats. One of the all black twins had been claimed the very next day, but the rest of them were with us for some time. We got very good at feeding them all every hour on the hour and eventually they settled into accepting that 'mom' was seven different people.

In the meantime, we had to hide the three of them from visiting management.

This was not my first round with cat-related crimes.

The district manager, Puppet, was due to come for a visit any time that week. He was supposed to come once a month for a routine check in, and there were only ten days left in August. Likewise, we had to hide the kittens from the customers on the off chance that one of them was a secret shopper.

Backtracking once more to explain: the company had shelled out money to pay a third party to send secret shoppers to grade us on a rubric and also whatever they thought was appropriate. The grades were cleanliness, customer service, how knowledgeable we were of products, things like that. If we got above 90%, there would be a bonus in our next paycheck.

Sounds great, right?

The spies could decide that anything wasn't up to their standard. One woman went on and on about our 'black wall,' which was the outside of our cooler and I'm sorry but… that's not changing. There was a complaint that the table at the front used to showcase our bridal seemed out of place and odd. There dirt in the flower pots… where dirt goes. Corporate reads those comments.

So keeping the children out of sight of the customers and any visiting management became our priority.

'So just keep them in the break room,' I hear you, the reader, suggest.

If you've never owned cats, it is imperative for you to know that they are mostly comprised of spine, and only the smallest of openings will deter them from squeezing into parts unknown. Cats are semi-solids. Kittens are semi-solids with a sense of adventure and little tiny needles for fingernails.

And you can't just tape the box shut.

So… they got out. Well, two of them got out. The tuxedo awoke to find that her brothers had gone exploring without her and did the sensible thing, which was cry about it.

Mood.

I have named this cat Brood X Cicada. The black one can be named Abyss. I'm great at naming cats.

Lucky for us, they're only a few weeks old and walk kind of like little tin soldiers. It took all of five minutes to pry Pop-eye from a piece of Styrofoam and locate Abyss exploring an old toolbox. However, by the time I'm done cat collecting, Brood X Cicada had toddled off in search of her brothers and I'm out of hands to hold kittens in. I stuffed Abyss into my apron pocket and tried to save X from eating plastic.

It is at this moment that Cherry came in to tell me that Puppet the District Manager was on his way, and saw that I was helplessly juggling kittens. Abyss was climbing out of my pocket, eager to join his siblings in the high and exalted position that was my hands.

"We need these kittens out of here," I said. "Who hasn't been on lunch yet?"

Cherry dodged her head back into the workshop. "Hey Key, you been on lunch?" Pause. "You wanna go now?"

Key came into the back room and I handed her the box of kittens. "Take these, in your car. Go to burger King or something, I don't care. Puppet cannot see these. If anyone asks, you're on a route."

Key held the box and took a moment to appreciate the series of events that lead to her being handed a box of kittens in a 'Take this, don't ask questions' kind of matter.

Puppet was in the front door as Key was out the back and we successfully avoided a serious mistake. His visit was only an hour and she walked back in without anyone the wiser.

We made it through the big challenge, now to continue looking for homes for them. Ms. Crow found a friend of a friend of a friend that was excited to take Abyss from us. After some interrogating my friends, I found someone who knew someone who could take Pop-eye and Brood X Cicada. (They were renamed Hocus and Pocus.)

Grandpa cried for every single one of them that had to go. And I remembered my very first day of working there when she introduced herself as 'The Tinman.' What a liar, the softy.

Our days went on kitten-free, the management none the wiser.

It was December when I got the feeling that I should be taking photos of my work to build a portfolio. Something wasn't right, I felt. I couldn't say what it was that put me on edge, but I could only say that all was not well. I took photos of everything that I was proud of, and I was proud of a lot of things. By February, I had over fifty items that I could show off to a potential studio. And I thought- in March, I should start looking to see if other shops are hiring.

And in March 2020, tragedy struck. Our state went into lockdown on March 13, dictating that all non-essential businesses close and non-essential staff be laid off. There were two days where none of us knew what was happening, if we had jobs or if that job was safe.

They laid off all but three designers and Grandpa but kept most the drivers, changed our hours to 8-5, closed Sundays. Canceled weddings. No walk-ins. The three designers were Blue, Red, and me.

Blue was worried about her children. She resigned.

Red's wife was worried about him and harassed him into quitting.

And then there was one.

There's a series of poems I wrote in my journal about being an essential worker during lockdown. There's adorable little doodles of skeletons around the margins, festooned with flowers. They all go something like this:

We are the Skeleton Crew.

We once were seven but now are two

We don't know what to do

So we just work, work, work.

Many may wonder how a flower shop would be considered an essential business. The answer is funerals. We were allowed to remain open because of our relationship with the funeral industry. And sad to say: the industry was booming.

And I did all of it. I made every spray, every 'get well soon' vase, every 'happy quarantine' bouquet. I called angry brides to see if they could postpone, I dealt with everyone's grief and uncertainty.

All the flowers that arrived at US Customs through Italy were destroyed because we didn't know whether coronavirus was transmitted through physical contact and there's no way to sanitize flowers. Not without killing them.

It was me and Grandpa. That was it. Ten funerals a day, and everything else. Flowers were more important than ever: you couldn't be there, so you sent flowers. And flowers and flowers and flowers…

I couldn't leave now. I was important, I was needed.

The work became overwhelming for both of us and we began hiring back some of our staff. Some came back right away, bored out of their skulls having to spend time at home. Can't relate. Key never responded, Cherry was pregnant and shouldn't be out of the house.

Dandy came back, Kali came back, Astra came back. Eventually, Blue. After a month of just me and Grandpa, there was almost a full crew and it was enough for us to get through an average week. It took us a month on our bare knuckles but we finally weren't shouldering the responsibility of seven people.

But we still didn't know jack shit about the future there.

In May, the 'economy opened up,' which is a strategic way of saying that people got tired of never leaving the house and stores were pressured to open back up again before a vaccine was released under threat of… you know what? This isn't a story about how America responded to the coronavirus poorly and you can probably find a better thinkpiece about it written by someone with facts and feelings if you want to squeeze yourself behind a pay wall.

This is about workers rights and kittens, two things that are far more important than the economy.

We got 'Hero Pay,' which was two dollars extra per hour and damn did I grasp onto that with the tendons in my wrists. I had never been paid $12 an hour for anything in my life. They started talking about permanent raises, and benefits, 401K, pregnancy leave… and I started thinking… maybe I could stay. Maybe I can stay here for awhile and it won't be so bad now that I'm getting paid actual human wages. Maybe it will be okay.

Life returned to an uneasy normal while we navigated mask laws, sanitation regulations, safety screens, and daily temperature checks. There are stories to tell about some less than great customers we'd had as people realized that they weren't coping with the pandemic as well as they thought, but they deserve their own entries.

We had a revolving door of open positions. If it wasn't a designer it was a driver or both. People weren't ready to come back to work yet but we still had a business to run. People asked if they could perform this job remotely. I'm not sure how one does flowers from home.

It was August when we started feeling the roots of our problems seep into the foundation.

Grandpa's pride and joy was her funerals. She had spent thirteen years building a relationship with the funeral homes in the area to make sure they trust us and our work. If anything was wrong, even a hair out of place, they knew they could call us and have it fixed before the visitation.

"We want unity across the board on our products," Puppet said. "If you're doing the sprays one way and others don't look the same, it doesn't look very good for Oldman Funeral Home, which has locations in all our cities, does it?" He swept his bangs out of his eyes, which was strange tell but we weren't sure for what.

"Okay," Grandpa said. "Schedule a time for me to go down and I'll teach them the way we do them."

"Okay, then."

She went down, prepared to show the crew in the warehouse what 40 years in the business was capable of, only to be met with a strange kind of resistance.

Their head designer greeted her and immediately started instructing her on how he makes sprays. Grandpa, confused, blinked at him with no words. When he was finished, she picked up her clippers and began making her own.

"That's not how we do it," he said. She was met with criticism after criticism. "That's not enough flowers, you're putting them in wrong, you're still making it one-sided. Why did you put the bow there, this looks nothing like our products."

She stood back after his barrage of blows to the ego. "I guess I'm a little confused."

"I'll say."

"Am I teaching you or are you teaching me?"

"I'm teaching you," he said. "Since they're going to all be made here from now on, they want me to show you how we make them in case of emergency."

She let that simmer. "That's not what I was told."

"You didn't think you were supposed to show me how you do it, did you? That doesn't make any sense. Why would we want to look like yours?"

"Oh, I dunno… maybe because we've kept up 30 accounts for 13 years and your location just lost your very last one because you can't make their delivery times and they're across the damn street."

This was how we learned that corporate was planning on taking our funerals from us.

Funerals were something I was immensely proud of. My ability to turn out a thousand dollar funeral order with limited stock was a subject of envy. I could take a phone order, make the flowers, and the deliver it all by myself within an hour. I was good. We were all good. And we trained anyone that stayed longer than two months how to do this because we wanted every person to be able to fix any problem.

And they wanted to take that away from us.

And they did. Because who was going to stop them?

'But what does that matter to you,' I hear you, the reader, ask. 'Surely this meant less work for you!'

Ah, but for the sprays to get to us, they had to come on a truck. Making them in-house meant that we knew we had them. We had to put our trust in corporate to deliver the goods to us by 7 am or we would have to make them day of.

There were days when the truck didn't come, or where only half the pieces were delivered, or a spray got left in the workshop an hour away. At least once a week, often more.

But you know… we adapted. You just schedule more openers to make sure no one is doing it alone and hope to God that you have all the flowers you need to make it. Which you could never anticipate how many flowers you would actually need because them taking our funerals was supposed to reduce the amount of stock flowers we got as well.

Mornings were nightmares, but we adapted.

Another visit, Puppet told Grandpa that she should get all weekends off. All the other managers do. He suggested that I learn to run routes so she can have weekends, and I said okay. I'll learn it.

I got real acquainted with the map of Ohio, and I hated it. I was a weekend manager with no real managerial power. If someone needed a refund, I had to write a note for Grandpa to email the accounts manager because she wouldn't take requests from anyone that wasn't a manager. Everything just waited until Monday. What was the point of me? I couldn't design while managing and I couldn't fix what was broken, so why even have a weekend manager? Let the animals loose in the zoo and it probably would have been a better fit.

But I powered through. I adapted.

Throughout all this, spreadsheets. Spreadsheets, spreadsheets, spreadsheets. Completely pointless spreadsheets that we were bound to fill out all day every day. They had simple purposes: inventory. You filled one out to take count of the specials so you knew how many there were. Then you had to count again to put them in the system so that they knew how much we had. Then you had to go back and count them again and put that number in the computer so they knew how much to make and send tomorrow.

I spent an hour each day counting and recounting the flowers in the far-off and futile hope that the counts would remain accurate to the end of the day (which they did not because the call center consistently used the wrong codes) and that the stock would be replenished properly in the morning (it was not.)

An hour was lost each day to this and it accomplished nothing, yet they always yelled at Grandpa if the counts were off or it was late. Why stress a system that does jack shit?

And every time there was a new feature or there was a new… thing, oh look! Another goddamned redundant spreadsheet that served no purpose.

But we adapted. We created a rhythm.

Show up early at 6:30 to make sure everything got in, make everything that didn't, get the drivers routed, pull routes for the third party deliveries, process same-day orders, data entry for the funeral consolidated. Then at 7, when the phones start ringing…

Okay, so before I forget:

Instead of installing a new phone line and hiring a few more call center people like a normal company would, our headquarters decided it would save us money if call overflow rerouted to the next available phone line, regardless of which location the phone was at. So we would get calls for the Kentucky store asking questions about what that store has and for the sake of preserving confidence in our brand we were supposed to pretend that we were the Kentucky store. We're just supposed to know or assume to know what each store had in stock because there's no way that could ever backfire.

It was… another thing to yell at us for. And boy did they, because they were listening in on our calls. Not to like… coach us on how to do better, but to tell us we were wrong. Sometimes they would call one of us on the other line to tell someone currently on the main one that they said something wrong. They also would straight up lie and scold us for calls we didn't take. The phones system, was simply a mess.

...so when the phones started up at 7am, and one person is designing, one person is taking unending phone orders, Grandpa is doing damage control. By 8, we have most of last nights orders figured out and it's time to start on same day orders and tomorrow's orders. It's too early to do inventory now because they'll yell at us for doing it too early.

By 9 we have our second wave of same day orders and next day orders, the rest of the world realizes we're open and starts walking in. That requires the attention of an entire person. We're at this point also taking out trash, breaking down boxes, disinfecting, sweeping the cooler.

Typically, there were only two openers on any given day, which meant most of this was all being handled by Blue or me.

By 10 we've caught up, we can do the inventory now without getting yelled at by the four heads at corporate. We're on route #3 by now and someone probably had to go to the same place twice because the orders came in late.

At 11, a crisis has probably happened. Something dropped, something wilted, something wasn't what they imagined. Someone has to go fix it, and that someone was usually me because I knew my way around town better than the other transplants.

This typically returned me to the shop around 1pm, which meant it was time for lunch, bringing me to 2. 3 o'clock was the cutoff for any next day orders to be sent to corporate, which meant that if there were any funeral orders taken for the morning, they would have to be made in-house. This included sprays, which takes half an hour to an hour depending on how complicated it was and if we had the materials and how much else we needed to make for the next day. Or how busy we were.

There was always something called in at the last minute, taking us to 4 and then 5 o'clock, when the openers went home and the same-day orders were cut off.

But see, that was when we stopped taking orders, not when we stopped processing orders. So if an order was placed for the same day at 4:59, it may not go through until 5:30. And by 5:30, chances are you've sent your drivers home for the day. Which means calling the customer to apologize and explain why something can't be sent out today, and no one wants to hear that they fucked up by sending it out late.

So, on more than one occasion, I had to personally deliver flowers on my way home from work in my personal car, thirty minutes out of my way because if we miss a delivery by God will we hear about it. And it was always some damn $25 arrangement with 'God Loves You' written on the tag, hardly worth the gas to Johnstown.

The irony of it being delivered by the witch was lost on no one.

If that didn't happen and the screen was clear, the night was easy and all we had to do was clean up and watch the door.

Unless a last minute order for the next day came in, which was about half the time. All of this for $11 an hour. (Once they got rid of the Hero Pay, it went back down to $11.)

That was an average, unexciting day for us. You got used to those kinds of stresses, but every day I came home and I was so tired and sore that I couldn't move. I started walking with a cane, had a low-grade fever most days, and my hands looked like I'd taken to them with a cheese grater.

But I powered through. I adapted.

Then it was December. The owners had always been generous with Christmas bonuses, handing everyone an envelope of cash. Mine was $500. This was the largest amount of cash that anyone had ever handed me (feel bad for me later.)

And then it was Grandpa's turn, but there were no envelopes left. It had to be a mistake, she thought. She didn't get paid very much for all the work she put into the shop, so she was counting on that bonus to buy presents for her grandchildren. It… it… had to be a mistake, right?

"I didn't get a bonus," she said. "I thought the accountability didn't take effect until January," she said to Puppet.

Before he opens his mouth again, I have to explain yet another thing.

In September, there was a meeting. Now that we were working on benefits and bonus programs and other things to make sure the staff stays, they needed to put in accountability measures for the managers. Effective January 1, managers are reflected by the income of their store, the number of returns, accidents in company vehicles, and high turnover rates.

Pick one of those attributes and decide its bullshit to begin with, and I'm about to show you the entire steer.

"We had to make an example of someone," he said. "So that the other managers know we're serious."

She was being personally punished for a car wreck that happened in 2019 even though she fired the guy that was in it. We had too many returns, he said, but most of them were sent to us from corporate. She was personally held responsible for the high turnover rate during an economic crisis AND a goddamned pandemic… because they needed to make an example out of someone.

And her grandkids didn't get presents this year because of it.

She cried. The last time I saw her cry was when we were saying goodbye to the kittens. It's not the same.

But she got up every day and listened to them scream at her while we counted and counted and recounted the fucking Christmas specials because the numbers weren't right and we couldn't make them right because someone in the call center couldn't figure out the codes and in their eyes it was our fault, too- we had to be stealing the flowers or something.

"It sucks and then its over," she said. It was how she dealt with holidays: "It sucks and then its over."

We were all angry for her. I got asked to go to the headquarters and help them mass produce more fucking specials and I offered the beat them up for her and she told me not to get involved. Head down, do the work, get it done.

One of the call center girls died of a heart attack a few days before I was due to help them mass. We were supposed to go to her funeral, but we all missed it because there was so much work to do.

Wait, let me back up… again. The company gave us all life insurance. The number we were quoted on our life insurance policy was $10,000, which seems like a lot but in the funeral business it's not. Your average funeral will eat up most of that, if not all. It's very expensive to die right now.

At least… we all thought it was $10k. I was certainly told $10k.

Turns out it was $1k, which isn't enough to buy you a box for your remains. The call center crew ended up crowdsourcing the rest- she didn't have much family.

And none of us could go to the funeral because we were working.

I worked two twelve hour shifts in that warehouse making the same goddamn centerpiece over and over again while a Frenchman in a scarf told me I was doing it wrong, while everyone was grieving on a time crunch.

I really should have beaten them up.

But we got through Christmas, for what it was worth. We found Grandpa some sales that she could get gifts from and we all worked together to make sure we were okay through it. I mean, we weren't- it was blind leading the blind. But we tried.

And then it ended. "It sucks and then its over," she'd always say.

And into January we go and we're back into the stupidity of trying to fight with hq about funerals. I'm constantly told that if we needed certain things we should have ordered them.

I… did. I did. I ordered everything we needed every damn day and it still never came because the left hand and the right hand can't even coordinate enough to pull off a high-five. But it can't be their fault. It has to be Grandpa's somehow.

Now during the week of Christmas, Grandpa had to take an extra day off because she got sick. It wasn't Covid, thank goodness. I can imagine it was a stress-related issue, but it's not my business. Due to the holiday, this put her at under 40 hours for the week.

So they paid her hourly.

...which is extremely illegal to do to a salaried employee, especially one that works way more than 40 hours a week with no overtime.

And then they told her that she'd already lost her quarterly bonus because of a fender-bender that happened on my watch, and because she lost 39 employees last quarter.

I write everything down. I keep a journal. I cannot find 39 employees, even going back the entire year… during a pandemic. They have to be making this up. They have to be because there is no way they can hold the dude that was fired for literally sleeping in the men's room against her.

And I was close to just telling them all that… when my grandma died.

I'm not getting into it, really. Because you know… she was 96 years old and… it happens. It's sad, but it happens. But the relevant point to make is that I was given an… inheritance. It wasn't a lot. Grandma wasn't loaded. But it would be enough for me to keep afloat for awhile if I ever needed to.

When I told my girlfriend, she said: 'you could quit your job.'

And I didn't want to think about that because the flower shop needed me. I was important there. I was special. And Valentine’s Day was just around the corner.

But I was thinking about it. I thought about it every day.

A week before Valentines Day, Grandpa was inconsolable. She had to leave work because her dog, Jake, wouldn't stop bleeding. She needed to get him to the vet.

Two hours pass and Blue gets a message asking her to come help her move the dog. Grandpa lives alone and she's not very strong.

Blue doesn't like dogs. She was bitten by one the first time she ever made a delivery.

And I am known for exceptional physical strength. So I went.

When I arrived, Grandpa was a mess. I had never seen her cry so much, and it wouldn't stop. And I was trying to be strong, but it's hard. Jake was still alive, but bleeding. He was confused and upset, and blind and deaf. He barked, he growled, and he lunged… but always pulled back when his legs buckled from the pain.

I had her grab a blanket and we rolled him onto it, using that to lift him. He thrashed and growled and snapped at me while we walked him towards the door, but he wasn't getting out of the wrap we had him in.

As we're out the door, I noticed a man at the neighboring house. He raised his hand in greeting, but lowered it in confusion.

"Grandpa, is it alright if I get him to come help while you bring the car around?"

The best she could do was nod.

"Yeah, sorry, to bug you but can I ask for a little help here?" He looks at what we're doing and drops his trash can lid to come help. "Yeah, just take that end there and we're gonna ease him into the car when she comes around."

He nodded, took the ends, and we tucked a very confused Jake into the back seat. I thanked the neighbor, Grandpa sped off, and I went back to work feeling extremely odd about it.

That was the first time that I'd ever met the dog: on his way to be put down.

I know it seems weird to tell that story, but there's a reason. Part of it is symbolic. Part of it has to do with kittens. But we're not there just yet.

So now it's February and it is crunch time for Valentine’s Day. We have no earthly idea what this holiday is going to look like because past experiences have us anticipating a large number of walk ins, but state regulations have put a limit of six customers inside the store at any one time. We were never given any… instructions on how to enforce that rule, so we just kind of vaguely set out roles for who has to be the bouncer at the flower shop.

But before all of that, we had to make 275 two-dozen red rose arrangements in bowls. Based on our sales last year and general growth, we were expecting something close to five hundred deliveries on our busiest day. If I wasn't making them, I was counting them. And I was counting, and I was counting, and I was counting… every hour, just like it was at Christmas. We used up every single red rose in the place and came up short.

To which we were scolded: we must have used the roses they sent us for other orders because there was no way the error could have been on their end! Their inventory was impervious to mistakes. Somewhere between the warehouse and our store, twenty-five packs of roses went missing! And why is it only our store that has these problems? Clearly it must be our fault- a store full of thieves and liars and delinquents.

They ended up sending more just because… you know… they care. I guess.

And every hour, they needed a number of something and I counted, and counted and counted…

I think it was February 8 that I started crying every day. When I slept I was stiff as a board because I made so many mistakes throughout the day that the idea of coming to work the next day just to make more mistakes made me lock up entirely. There was no way to relax. There was no winding down from a hard day of work because my body could not move anymore.

I felt like I was made of splintering wood.

I had a dream around this time that I quit my job. I was so happy. I thought about it almost every hour.

So I stayed out of the way at work, picking up cleaning projects because at least there I could be useful and it was dark enough in the cooler that if I started crying no one had to see it.

That cooler was so clean. I wouldn't recommend eating off of it because I used an entire bottle of bleach to clean the floor.

If we're not counting the constant barrage of demands from corporate to count, count, count; Valentine’s Day was worryingly uneventful. Previous holidays were chaotic: filling the requests of the most desperate and clueless men with deep pockets and expensive tastes. Corralling the temporary drivers and make sure no one gets into any crashes or… uh...tries to sell unregulated merchandise from their trunks. Trying to decide what "Malibu Barbie Pink" meant for that one customer who comes in every six months and orders it but has rejected every color pink on the spectrum that our store has ever offered.

On this one… nothing important happened.

We were… slow.

Grandpa started sending people home early because there weren't many orders. We ran out of projects to do.

Sounds great, right?

...heh…

Corporate would like to know why our store is under projected sales by over 200, as if we have any say in how many people buy from us. Like we personally called all our typical customer base and told them not to come to this store. "Yes, hello Mrs. Penderghast? I'm sorry we can't fill your Valentine's Day order this year because we suck balls and don't want your business. Have a nice weekend. Say hi to the grandkids for me."

I don't… fucking KNOW! I don't work in PR! I'd ask the people in that department if they know what happened but… that's the owners. So who really is the fuckup here? Not me, that's for fucking certain! I cleaned the cooler. That's all I did all weekend was clean the Gods damned cooler because there wasn't enough work to go around so I made work for myself.

And then: "Why are the counts off," asked Mt. Rushmore. See, we called them that because between the owners, Puppet, and the head designer we had four white men looking down at us while we did all the work and built their success on the backs of their forefathers. Well… to me it was anyway. To everyone else it was four dudes that looked down on you.

"Why are the counts off?"

Oh, the COUNTS are off? Well, let me just drop everything I'm doing right now and count them for the third time in the past hour because that takes fucking priority.

"There's 95 specials missing from your inventory. Where are they?"

...okay, 95 is a lot. But it was also kind of hard to know how they were 'missing' when we'd sold all of the 275 that we made. How can they be missing if we sold them.

"We need to know where they are."

We don't know where they are. Because we sold all of them. The math didn't add up.

But they hounded us about it like we'd stolen them and resold them on the street corner. Which, to their defense, had happened once (but Sugar stopped doing that when her corner was taken over by the woman who accused Jay of being a demon.) But 95 is a huge number, and these arrangements were a foot wide and two feet tall. Someone would have noticed if a 100x200 foot square opened up in the cooler.

We literally could not know what the fuck they were talking about.

And the truth was extremely stupid: those 95 pieces were redeliveries. When someone has an issue with their order, like it didn't come or it was left out in the snow and got damaged or… someone put the name of their ex on the card instead of their wife… we send a replacement. But depending on who took the phone call, a person might use the wrong code and put it in for 'redeliver' instead- which counts it as another order.

We weren't missing 95 arrangements. We had 95 redeliveries. They hounded us about inventory for two days over a clerical error.

I decided I'd had it. We were going on a full week of crying every time I had a moment alone. They had made us feel like everything that went wrong was our fault: from low turnout to high turnover, missed deliveries and trashed sprays, lost accounts and new grievances…

But did they ever say a Gods damned thing about how hard we worked? How good we were? About how great a team we were under pressure? We once pulled together an entire wedding in fifteen minutes. My ass carried this store through the pandemic. I have done… so much.

So fucking much.

And yet it's our fault.

I had been reasoning with myself that I would stick around for the aftermath when Grandpa was eventually fired: we'd all felt it was coming. But I got that little bit of cash and all my joints were screaming and every time we got negative feedback a part of me died.

The following Tuesday had seen a massive snowstorm. Things that weren't already closed due to the pandemic were closed due to weather.

But we still had to be there. Because someone had to be there to make all the funeral pieces.

Because there wouldn't be a truck the next day, which meant that all of the funeral pieces that we'd sent to the headquarters needed to be made in-house. Which, once again, could have been avoided if we had kept the funeral orders in-house to begin with.

I waited until everyone had cleared out before I said it.

"Grandpa, I have to quit."

I don't think anyone ever looked so disappointed in me in my life.

"Why?"

"The way they treat people here is terrible and I can't see myself doing another Mother's Day for this company. They're so… mean! And for no damn reason! I have cried every day for the past week because I see the way they treat you and I'm… I'm tired."

I thought she was going to cry, but she nodded. "I can't stop you," she said. "I shouldn't stop you. If it's affecting your mental health like this, I'll miss you but its for the best. You know they'll want a written notice."

"And you know I'll tell them the truth," I said.

"...it's not me, is it?"

"If I worked for just you and those fuckers were out of the picture, I would stay. And you can count on me to tell them that."

"Any flower shop you apply to would be lucky to have you."

So I drafted up a resignation letter telling them exactly how I feel: that the way they run this company was asinine and they treated their employees like garbage. They received it on Thursday. Everyone at the shop knew by then. They were upset…

...but they understood.

Puppet did not understand. He emailed Grandpa asking her what she's doing that her people keep leaving.

He didn't see it. He didn't see that he was part of the problem. It always had to be someone else's fault. I explicitly said in my letter whose fault it was and he still didn't take any responsibility.

But suddenly I'm one of their best designers, and he begged me to reconsider, take some time off to think about it. They desperately wanted me to stay and they were willing to bargain, I just needed demands.

No one's ever… begged me before. I don't know if I like that.

This is when it dawned on me that I was next in line. It all made sense now: training me to route, making me do all the extra work, and now they want me to stay?

They were planning on getting rid of Grandpa and promoting me to manager. In a perfect world where Grandpa resigns willingly and I’m promoted on my merits as a designer and the company wasn’t very quickly circling the drain, I would be excited. But I wasn’t. I was frightened. I watched them take a confident, extremely talented woman and turn her into the whipping boy of the flower shop. And if I were in her position, I would have quit. But I don’t have the strength to stand up to the people that are signing my paycheck.

Why… am I at a place where the idea of moving upward makes me more scared than excited?

Flattering, but no. I've seen how you treat your people. My demands are to treat them better.

It was the longest week for me: making lists of pros and cons. I had made a lot of friends there and there's stuff that I will never forget. But the fact that the only people who didn't understand why I was leaving were the people who had the most to lose really hit me in the knees. I could tell them every day for the rest of their lives why they suck and it wouldn't matter because nothing was ever their fault.

And at 7:00 on Friday, I turned in my key.

I didn't have a plan, I didn't have anything lined up. This was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make and I was just kind of… throwing myself at it.

I don't do that. I always have a plan. I look into every possible scenario and I try to make the smart choice. And this time…

I didn't.

It was probably stupid.

But I slept for 12 hours the next night and I could feel my bones settling into their rightful places. I didn't realize how many health problems were caused by standing for 9 hours a day, 11 days a week until I was home all the time to notice them changing. I will always have a limp from trying to pretend I don't have a limp. I'm pretty sure that ulcer is chronic. But my back isn't seizing up and I don't cry every day anymore.

That's something, I think.

About a week after my departure, I got a text from Grandpa that said:

"Hey guess what."

"What," I replied.

The next text was a picture of a week's old seal-point kitten with terminal eye-goo, wrapped in a towel.

"Pop-eye!?"

"I'm keeping this one," she said. The strays had dropped a litter of identical baby kittens by her pond. Two years later, with Jake put down, she could finally have Pop-eye, even if it was version 2.0.

The next text was a few days later. "Puppet fired me."

"What!? Why?"

"Too many accidents, too high turnaround. The new people suck, he says no one wants to work with me."

"Are you okay? How are you doing?"

"I'm okay." She paused and the loading screen did its little dot dance. "I'm playing with my kitten."

[tenfoldtranslation]

google/wiki say "child harness" but "kid on a leash" is so much funnier

"It’s our first time." is that too sexy

okay yeah Hizen NOT Hida 飛禅、飛騨

ahh I was gonna write ’taking them out’ but that might mean assassinate lol

is ’wear them out’ ambiguous?? hopefully not?? (Cruella Deville) oh man it was devil wasn’t it

'overprotective' vs. 'helicopter parent'...

'cats’ as in we’d use for humans, does that come across?

we have the meat

Tank at grocery store: "Real fish"? "Live fish"? (went with live, because I feel like it's a U.S. perspective to think food fish might not be 'real fish'

魚市場 sweet, kanji I know well XD

ちーん hey this was in Colette, right? check it out

karintou manju THEY ARE DELICIOUS AREN’T THEY

マイペース修正 (修正？？ I’m cancelling myself for this too) How to Fix Marchers to their Own Beat -> wrangling; flakers? ponderer? lackdaisical; lassitude; daydreamers? independent (slackers?!) -> "Wrangling Slackers: A How-To"

There's a pill bottle with a label that just makes absolutely no sense. 1/3 made with love and care? What are the other 2/3 made out of...??

来たか well, yeah, they’re there aren’t they -> Hey.

菓子を少しな ohhh localization here we come -> "Just some cookies."

食い物じゃないぞ　(where someone confuses him with mochi) -> "I'm not a snack!" (more localization… seems like it would work though right) it’s supposed to be funny and this is also funny (originally and with added meaning)

okay okay, I get it, ties back to the book. Yay for reading twice to get the ’point’!! sigh all that time and I didn’t think to look for the big pictures of what the authors were trying to say… at least Music of Marie was pretty overt about it by the end. And I don’t think Captain Corinth had a point XD

This is my apartment complex. (apartment simple)

the flowery bubble means I can’t switch it… (the order of what he's saying)

Paying special attention to how each character responds affirmatively (Trying to use 'mhm' for [redacted] whenever it makes sense, otherwise 'Okay')

Making clothes quickly: He even made it fancy!

Our New Master -> Our New Head of Household -> Head of Household (ボクらのご主人様)

I think maybe he’s trying not to cry…

Stranger Danger -> Danger Looms

I’ll buy some. Please remove your claws. (This is such a [irl friend who has cats] thing to say :D )

I thought that said litter boy for a second (not litter box)

may have put a little too much time and money into researching if that was right (exhibitionism for 公開プレー)

Warm feelings abound. "in more ways than one" sounds like an innuendo to me

Researching when this was published in relation to Haikyuu so I know if it might be a reference or not (it couuuuld)

so it doesn’t actually say tankobon in the Japanese but… ’print book’? -> published volume

I think it’s a play on sakana-ichiba but "Fish is #1" feels sufficiently funny?

who on weblio is translating ’kou miete’ as ’you behold in me’… that’s just wrong?? finally, "I may not look it," that’s right.

wow he’s TALL

extended investigation into if 'moe' is still a thing (it feels like moe was a thing around 2010 and has started to die off again…?)

OH GOODNESS okay that's finally it!!

I have a lot of thoughts :') I hope someone reads this one and talks about it too! I thought it was a pretty strange concept when I first heard about it but it's very cute and it's grown on me a ton!!!

Phew, first draft of volume 1 turned in!! I'm so looking forward to once this gets announced and I can actually talk about it!! Hopefully it'll have more readers than the last series I worked on ^^; Especially because we really need to make it to some of the later volumes, like people need to buy it so we can get to at least, like, volume 8!

To celebrate, here's a short list of translation quandaries/thought/notes that would be too stupid to put into print!

’Bowl’ is better but I think it says ’皿’ so we’ll go with ’dish’

When the original says "evolve" but that's not how evolution works

’shitsuke’ is hard to translate

(ahh now I see why my editor was complaining about the apostrophes, they only show up as pointed the wrong direction when I copy-paste them out)

Apparently lay is transitive and lie is intransitive, who knew??

Silly owner! -> Tricks are for kids! (changed it to Stupid owner!)

KIDDEN (I can explain once the series gets announced)

Looking up the difference between sardines and anchovies

"Thanks" with your mouth full: could be "Danks" but that looks too much like "dank" (went with "Fanks")

MC is really great but there are several lines the get borderline creepy if you look at them wrong ("SFXCreep", "Ahh. You smell so clean.")

you KICK Miette?! (but that’s anachronistic to when this first came out ;o;)

Translator’s notes I can’t include: this reminds me of the eromanga days ("I’ll make sure it’s not scary. So relax, okay?")

(Followed by "I’m not blushing. Not blushing!!" It do be like that sometimes)

This series has a lot of one-page gags which is way different than the ones I worked on before, it's kind of nice to have it all condensed like that!

(It took me like, a dozen reads to finally get all the tiny story threads with the art and the jokes I think)

Oh wait I forgot to send this!! "[Page 36: The joke was originally a play on ’hayaoki wa sanmon no toku’, meaning ’there’s benefit to getting up early’, and [character] heard ’sanmon’ as ’salmon’.]"

(Same character) ohhh, [redacted]-yuki, light snow fall; small snow flakes (like her tips)

へーい -> Mmkay.

It's kinda refreshing, I guess, that we see [main character] without a shirt on a lot...?

About さんきゅー: lol I’m gonna says ’thanks’ is okay since it’s in hiragana (and then I changed... and snuck in Purrfect, thanks; that'll probably get changed. There's actually a spot where it says "Perfect" later, but I think changing it would interfere with a joke there.)

Translator’s notes I can’t include: since it doesn’t actually say body horror ("Like body horror?" -> "Like a horror movie.")

Translator’s notes I can’t include: ("don't make up a man to get mad at" -> "Don’t judge what you don’t know!")

thank goodness for Katekyo Hitman Reborn so I know what a 仮定教師 is

There's a panel that just says マーキング that kinda squicks me out for some reason.

doesn’t specify which meal but, dinner? could be both…? ("今日のご飯なぁに？" -> "Yuya, what are we having today?")

SANMA SAURY

oh same problem here actually, it’s not necessarily rice… (ご飯)

[character name] is named after another character I like from Ajin and acts like another character from D.Gray-man, so those influenced my first draft, but I think I have a solid enough grasp on his own character now after reading up to volume 10

see ’picked you up’ really doesn’t work here (for 拾う, because it means 'took in', but it could get confused with 'lifted off the ground')

too sexy for his shirt

if boku is uke and 俺 is seme, is オレ switch? >>

[main character] really doesn’t strike me as someone who’d say ’Tch’??!! -> "Got me."

oh, cat fight, I hadn’t noticed (I get so focused on the words sometimes it takes me way longer than it should to notice the art)

meager? flimsy? sparse? skimpy? paltry? *scant?

Translator’s notes I can’t include: also now it’s a sneaky Ajin reference (right?) OH that's why I wanted 'play ball' and not 'play catch'... (it did get changed to 'play catch' as of now)

LOTR potato song

just realized [character's name] looks like [redacted] Street

"ass backwards" would be really funny too (went with "Do you two know the phrase ‘cart before the horse’?)

Things on Walmart are called ’senbei’ so that means I can use 'senbei' too right

we were just doing this to Panda (scaring my friend's cat and her tail puffed up)

OMg the jisho example sentence for gikuri… 圭はその問いにギクリとさせられたが、頭を何でもないといいたそうに横に振る。 [redacted] is startled by that question, but shakes her head as it to say that it’s nothing

two very conflicting purposes for this line: not revealing [redacted]'s gender, and also conveying what the line means >>

not to mention it's about おっぱい and this isn't that kind of manga

I mean I guess we could just say 'buns' (instead of dango) but since we're launching directly into Otsukimi that seems unfair to the reader

(It was really funny how frequently things I was doing irl overlapped with what was happening in the manga as I worked on it! Christmas, mochi, snow, cats being cute...)

hey their names all use different writing systems

もみもみ-> knead knead, directly followed by こねこね→knead knead

"Super" seems too girly for [redacted female character]?

"You know, in other countries, they say a lion lived there [on the moon]." I swear I searched for at least half an hour and I cannot figure out what this is talking about. Hopefully someone else can figure it out.

oh like the wood getting in the mochi?? (from the thing you pound the mochi in, we had just been talking about that)

"The moon’s so pretty." -> I love you?

"now I’m translating and I don’t want to get up bc of the cats…"

Staying with my host sister in Tokyo-Chiba gave me perspective on what really counts as ’inaka’ LOL

I probably posted about this already, but over the 2.5 months of translating this, I've become hyper-aware of dekopons. They're everywhere! Even in the U.S.! Trader Joe's just featured them in their latest flyer!!

Translator’s notes I can’t include: deception by orange: ("OK BUT THEY HAVEN’T EXPLAINED THIS YET… god am I going to be sucked into ANOTHER red herring about oranges XnX" -> after Code Geass many moons ago)

"ああしてるとやっぱ男の子だな" -> "Boys will be boys." I dislike this line but I feel like this is an okay solution…? except [main character] isn’t like that XD is that making a new point? I mean I guess what he said in JP would be making the same point… < ah that’s funny because [main character] is supposed to be (speaking?) more feminine

"やっぱユーヤはかっこいいね" -> "You're handsome." this feels like a huge stretch but also supremely in prince [redacted] character?? like she says it offhand. okay well the first word on jisho for kakko ii is ’attractive’, so maybe handsome works? I still think this is the right choice

Tara-> cod means you get poetry like "I think we’ll do hot pot with cod for dinner."

Translator’s notes I can’t include: moyashi (?) ! (like D.Gray-man) -> string bean

is that too SpyxFamily? -> Borf (from わふん) (Went with WORF) (I did borrow "shock" for ガン though)

I thought it sounded dumb but I’m getting attached to it… ("Alarm of cuteness blast")

uptight? careful? particular? mindful? cautious…

Translator’s notes I can’t include: Knitting doesn’t work that way. Also even if it does, the clothes would look more knitted...

仕事、おつかれさま -> "We know you worked hard today." is this what gets me cancelled

最高気温10度 well actually that one works both ways XD XD XD whether it's Celsius or Fahrenheit, 10 degrees is still cold!!!

I don't think the book they're reading about Santa is any existing book in particular

"I’m not a kind" oops -> "I'm not a kid" (silly typo)

"It’s no fun receiving without giving in return." "Prepare yourself!!" (this is about presents, but... is that too sexual or am I just a bad person? it’s fine. bad person confirmed)

lol that puts "Roger!" in two of my series too

Heh sounds too lecherous but hmph sounds too dispassionate…

I really should be writing this 100% in caps all the time huh (since manga is usually lettered in all caps, it might be better to have an idea of what it might look like)