#and only wrote five last week
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fictionadventurer · 2 months ago
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november
fading colors show the skeletons of nature as strong vivid lines
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year ago
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the terrible terrible thing about writing slow burn while also trying to keep it under 15 chapters is the constant WORRYING of pacing????? are things going too slow and will it be hard to engage with???? are things going too fast and it feels like rushing??? is a kiss too much 19 chapters in???? I thought it was supposed to be under 15????? who am I here?????????
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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genuinely tho me jumping right into reading volume 9 of trimax and then volume 10 (and then most of the rest of the manga) on the night before i had a presentation at 9:30 am (that was entirely not prepared) was literally one of the most unhinged decisions ive ever made
this is what a hyperfixation does to a person
#speculation nation#like that experience was transcendent. i will NEVER be repeating it again but it sure was something#crying 5 times in a night chugging my monster perusing the wolfwood tag tearfully as i listen to the same sad song on repeat for an hour#struggling to get myself to work on the presentation but continuously going back to the manga bc it was SOOO GOOOD#me being like 'im gonna need a few days to process and heal' after reading volume 10 but then after an hour just. starting reading more.#gettign only 2 hours of sleep bc i was like 'ok i need to recover from crying Five Times and then i will focus entirely on this'#literally what is wrong with me lmfao. this sure was something.#this was literally just last week. i can hardly believe it.#this happened on tuesday/wednesday. i spent wednesday recovering. then on thursday i was like 'ok time to write'#there was hardly ANY wait time before i jumped into my next writing project#bc i had the idea after volume 10 but waited until i finished the manga to see where would be the best time to implement it#& that shit with the plants was the PERFECT time. i knew as soon as it happened that That was what i was gonna use.#wrote chapter 1 within a day (while working) then chapter 2 within a day (while working)#then chapter 3 within 2 days (while working AND doing family stuff)#guys i havent had a proper day off of work in over a week bc i covered on tuesday and came in on wednesday and covered on sunday#uhm. sunday before yesterday. i think my last day off was actually uh. the thursday before? a week and a half ago.#and im not getting a day off until thursday. two whole goddamned weeks. i am having a fucking time for sure.#and what do you know that coincides with The Time. oh i dont think it was even thursday. when the fuck was my last day off#uhmmm. oh haha it was that tuesday. aka the 18th. i havent had a goddamned day off since the 18th.#head in my hands. i am losing my fucking mind.#literally unhinged. and it makes sooo much sense now lmfao.
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swagging-back-to · 3 months ago
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my arcane predictions
viktor is like god and was the mage who saved jayce
the climax fight occurs in the void/collapsed hexgate
vi and caitlyn do actually make up by the very end
isha dies
mel dies but not in jinx's attack from se 1.
jayce kills mel ???? (if i predict this right i deserve a million dollars from riot games) don't ask me to explain if you haven't seen leaks bc it's also a reach even if youve seen them
heimerdinger kills at least one person or at least attempts it by the end of the show
lots of death
jayce vs viktor fight
vi vs caitlyn fight (like a real one not just an argument)
ekko is a pivotal player in the very end of the series and might even cause a paradox
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chuluoyi · 8 months ago
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✎ unconcealable
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- gojo satoru x reader
your boyfriend may not show it, but the six eyes are his burden to bear. you know it firsthand when he falls into your arms for the first time
genre: teen!gojo, fluff, hurt/comfort, flashback and fast-forward to dad!gojo later
note: hello hello i’m alive~ i have this little thing of fluff/comfort pampering in my head throughout my vacation and it’s been a long time since i last wrote about teen!gojo so here it is :D will proofread later when i get the chance!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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Back in 2006—
“Satoru, move away—”
“Nuh, uh! I’m staying! You’re too soft~”
“Satoru, If Yaga-sensei walks in… he’ll think we’re doing something indecent!”
“Mmm, don't care~”
This is the gym. Anyone could walk in. And yet your boyfriend of three weeks, Gojo Satoru, claimed his place by resting his head on your lap and squeezing his eyes shut so comfortably… like a cat.
You sighed, vexed and almost giving up— and then you noticed just how good-looking he was. Not that you just realized it now, but his long eyelashes, his smooth skin, white hair...
You have snagged a heartthrob. Or at least he could be if it wasn't for his questionable tendencies.
“Satoru, I’m being serious,” you griped, blinking back your pounding heart and starting to get anxious if anyone would see the two of you on the floor, with him over you. “Get up. Now.”
He knitted his brows together. “So stingy... Can’t your dashing boyfriend get five more minutes?”
“No. Up. Now.” You learnt by experience that the more you indulged Satoru, the more you would be inclined to comply as well. So before he dragged you into that hole...
“Hmph! No!”
“I’ll really flip you if you don’t move—!”
And that’s finally when he cracked his eyes open, totally pouting. “So mean! My head is hurting, you know! I just want to rest a bit!”
You were somewhat taken aback by his little outburst but he really got up this time, and then he stalked away, mumbling complaints.
"Some girlfriend you are... so not considerate..." he pursed his lips together, seemingly hurt as he made his way out.
That almost annoyed you greatly, and you were about to retort back when to your shock, he suddenly clutched his head and staggered. "Ahh—"
"Satoru!"
You sprinted to him and caught him as he wobbled, supporting his weight.
"Are you okay? What happened?!" you were so spooked that you went down with him to the floor again. And you immediately pulled him to you when he heaved a shuddering breath.
"I'm okay—" he said in a pant, pressing his eyes together so tightly. "I'm okay, I'm okay! Don't—"
"You're not, you idiot!"
Something with his eyes. It just dawned to you that he didn't wear his sunglasses today, and by instinct, you wrapped your arms around him, pressing him close to your chest.
"Is it hurting badly now?" you worriedly asked, keeping him tight in your embrace. "Do you want me to get you something?"
Contrary to your worries, what Satoru was more focused on was the exponential warmth that enveloped him. He had a migraine for a while there, but you so easily anchored him, making it somehow hurt less.
"You said Yaga-sensei will catch us and think we're having sex," he sullenly accused to hide the sudden blush spreading quickly on his face. "You didn't care about me just a minute ago."
"That's... a minute ago!" you hissed. "Now I'm worried!"
Your response made him smile despite himself. Satoru found comfort in the darkness of being squished against your boobs... perhaps way more than he thought he would.
"Then let me stay like this for a while. I'll be okay in a jiffy, 'kay?"
"Hmm," you hummed, absent-mindedly stroking his soft hair. You started to feel bad for chasing him away earlier, and squeezed him. "Does your head hurt often?"
"Whoa, it's only when I'm like this that you'll touch me so openly," he responded with a mock sigh, and you fought the urge not to roll your eyes. "Poor me."
"Poor you indeed. So answer me, does it, or does it not?"
"Nah, it's just how it is sometimes. Just some side effects of my eyes, you see."
"Why don't you wear your glasses today?"
"...Nanami broke them after I ate his last doughnut."
"You..." you almost giggled, and yet so exasperated at the same time. But the way Satoru squeezed your waist to hug you in return made you spare him.
You two stayed like that for a while, and when the bell rang to indicate the start of the next period, you asked him again. "Are you okay now?"
"Mm-hm, yeah, much better."
"Then let's go back to your class. I'll help you go there."
"Ehh..." But Satoru, ever the stubborn one, just buried his face into you, holding on tight and not letting go at all. "No."
You frowned. "Why—"
"Don't wanna move~ your boobs are just too good..."
"—? What—"
"They're soooo soft. Seems jiggly too? Ah, my pain is healed! Oh! When we get married, will I get to bite them too—"
"Satoru, you!"
Long story short, you two missed the next period just because Satoru nagged you to stay with him... and at the end of it all, the ones who opened the doors to the gym were Nanami and Haibara, who immediately went to report to Yaga and red-faced respectively.
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Back to present—
"Time for your teardrops!"
Satoru squeezed the bottle of eyedrops, lining it up with the striking blue eyes of his six-year-old son, an cute little pumpkin who was a carbon copy of him in every way, as he laid his head on his lap.
"Mmngh," his son squirmed as the water made contact with his sensitive eyes, and squeezed both eyes shut as soon as his papa was done.
Having inherited his eyes, the boy had started to feel pain whenever he accidentally overused them. Satoru knew the feeling well, and as much as he tried to humor him, something inside him prickled whenever he saw him getting teary-eyed due to the pain.
"Still stings?" he asked with a frown. "Want to use blindfold cover your eyes, hmm?"
Your son mumbled, "...no."
"What do you want then?"
"...I want mama."
Satoru snorted, pinching his boy's plump cheek fondly. "Same, kiddo. I want mama too."
The little boy cracked his eyes open out of spite. "You always bother her everyday."
"It's not as if you do not but whatever." Satoru pursed his lips as he stared at his boy. "If only I can put those rotting grandpas in elderly home, your mama can be freed from missions."
The kid snuggled close to his lap, seeking comfort, and suddenly, he felt flash of warmth burst inside him, realizing that his little munchkin wanted him to make him feel better.
"Look, I'm not mama, but I can do this too—" he hoisted his son, and hugged him close, hiding his little face into his sturdy chest. "Here you go. Better?"
The little baby that forever connects him to you. Satoru loved his son as much as he loved you.
He had no one to really comfort him in the early days of misusing his eyes— they only told him that it was the price for the greatness he would possess. Until you did. You didn’t speak of power or strength. Each time he suffered from those migraines back then, you would hold him close.
And so, he'd be damned if the same thing happened to his precious son. He wouldn't let him be told that—he would do his best to soothe him, to make him feel safe.
"Tomorrow we're getting kikufuku, yeah?" he said with a smile, patting his son’s back gently. "And ice cream too."
"Mmm... 'kay..." the boy replied. "Papa... sleepy..."
"Then sleep, kid. I'll wake you when mama comes back, yeah?"
You. The baby. The two of you were always the center of his world. As he too drifted off to sleep beside his son, he thought that chasing after you was most definitely the greatest decision he made from that blue spring that would never return in his life.
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Epilogue
"I'm home!"
Your mission ended with a bang as you completely obliterated the cursed spirit. You went home with a spring in your steps, thinking that your silly husband and cute son would be waiting for you in this afternoon.
But no one greeted you back, and you found yourself walking to your master bedroom, only to be floored by the sight.
Satoru had dozed off so unguardedly, but he had one protective arm over your son, who was also sleeping. They looked like a pair of twins, and the way your son curled up to your husband melted your heart so much that it brought a wide smile on your face.
Click! Click! You took several photos so you would be able to look at their sleepy state whenever you wanted. But as you marveled at the photographs, suddenly a sneaky hand yanked you—
"Whoa—!"
"Shh, you'll wake him up, mama," Satoru sleepily grinned as he smooched your face. "You took so long, I missed you."
"I finished one day early," you huffed, but then your expression softened as you gazed at your sleeping son. "Seems like both of you are getting along well while I was gone~"
"I fed him mochi and cookies, of course he'll be obedient."
"—! I told you he'll get cavities soon if you don't limit the sweets intake!"
"Oh? Then we just have to have another baby who won't get cavities just as you wish then~"
"That's not how it works! Satoru, you—!"
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klara-rosa · 1 year ago
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anyway therapy was good today! I was very frustrated after last week's session. It was super uncomfortable and I wanted to cry afterwards (I have literally only cried twice during my entire therapy career). I actually told my current therapist that last week sucked and made me angry and we talked about it and she told me she really wants me to tell her this information in the future. And in general, today was a looot better and more positive and uplifting. We did an exercise in gratefulness and it really helped to kinda flip the coin and make you look at your life from a dofferent angle. I have sooo many negative self-beliefs and rituals I've accumulated over the years and sometimes I forget that a huuuge part of every one of my days is literally dependant on my own attitude and outlook on life in general. So I'll try and incorporate that exercise in my day to day life. Honestly, I left with such a lighter heart today than I did the last couple of weeks and that makes me happy 🥺
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ncteez · 25 days ago
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M.I.L.F. (Make It Last Forever) ― L.DH
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Haechan, a favorite among classy wives to hire during the hot summer season for a nice, thorough pool cleaning, seems to have a favorite wife of his own.  You.  Or the one where Haechan was the pain-in-your-ass son of the family you used to babysit for, but now he’s making it his mission to be the pain-in-your-ass pretend husband that you never asked for, but very clearly need. 
minors dni 
PAIRING ― lee haechan  x afab milf!reader  
WORDCOUNT― 18.9k
CONTENT―  age gap: reader is 31  and haechan is 24, milf trope/single mother reader, college pool boy haechan (turned part time babysitter), reader has 1 kid and haechan really wants to give her another, reader has morals!! haechan just doesn’t see it as a moral issue, he is actually very sweet 
!WARNINGS! ―  age gap, haechan is somewhat of a manipulator, he’s gentle but won’t take no for an answer. dub-con in one instance. major breeding kink and kind of a mommy and daddy kink (domesticity), angst regarding reader and her ex husband, reader has huge tits 
NOTE ― this was written for jay from enhypen over on my other blog, but i am gifting it to you guys here as well! I WROTE THEM BOTH!!!! NOT PROOF READ.
nsfw tags under cut
nsfw tags― thick big dick haechan, small instant dubious consent, tit obsessed haechan, groping and grinding, mommy/daddy kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cum stuffing-ish,pussy eating, fingering, basically it’s haechan doing stuff to you,  this ain’t smut this is making love, also reader doesn’t shave her coochie and haechan fucking loves it.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Having a stray eye isn’t typically something you afford yourself when it comes to men. Things tend to change with time though, that much you know is true. 
It was proven to you for the first time when your ex husband decided to up and leave you three weeks before your due date for a woman–well, girl, fresh out of highschool. Years of trust and promises crushed with just a single sentence and a slam of the door. Time must’ve changed you for him to leave so heartlessly. Time must’ve changed him to become so cold. 
 It was proven again when you were able to heal despite never believing you could. Seconds of pain turned to minutes, to hours. Days. weeks. Months. Years of pain before being able to wake up and feel somewhat numb to it all. Like a flip switch in your head that told you that you can be happy now even if as a single mother. After all, the hard part was over. 
It took some four to five years, but it did happen. Time did change you, it healed you, it matured you. As your child grew, so did you. And for the better, you think. You count your blessings of living a life far more lavish than you ever could have anticipated given the circumstances that had been thrown at you. Even to the point of nesting, wanting another child, wanting a big and happy family. But alas, your ex husband had better things to do. 
At the end of the day, you’d never be able to call this home yours if you had stayed with your ex husband. He didn’t like this kind of “flashy” lifestyle, and to him, everything you wanted seemed too flashy for him. Perhaps he was right to some extent, as you recognize the brand name goods you now own, solely because you had promised yourself in the depths of your despair that you’ll get to a point in life where you can buy yourself everything you not only need, but want. So, here you are, owning an expensive home, in a nice neighborhood, with a nice car and a nice pool. 
Your daughter has everything she could want and need too, aside from a sibling, it’s certainly still more than what you had growing up and it’s all because of you. A fully decorated bedroom drenched in glitter, purples, creams, yellows, and pink, her favorite color. All sorts of play houses, costumes, dolls, a few lego sets, and even some plastic swords and knives for the days she wants to pretend to be her favorite movie characters. Clothes she can grow into, and a nice little fund building up for her as she grows up. Her first car, college, help for a downpayment on her own first house. 
Both of you have everything you could ever want or need and for that, you’re so proud. Especially knowing your husband would have never believed you could make it this far without him. Still, despite having everything you could ever ask for, there’s something in you that feels empty.
Time changes things. 
Time changes a lot of things, you note more than usual, as the man you’ve been ogling for the past three weeks makes himself far more known to you than you ever wished he would.
The interaction with him was always so quick before today and given the fact that he was a complete stranger, you never quite invited him into your home considering–you know, small child and all. You had hired him over text. Haechan, your neighbor said his name was. His handsome features didn’t offer you anything more than a clean pool and a wandering eye. 
Your neighbor apparently has a friend who has a cousin that has an even nicer pool than you do. Given, it’s only a nicer pool due to the fact that this young man, Haechan, tended to it weekly and made damn sure it could be drunk out of if a person had a craving for chlorine. 
You feel like an idiot now that it didn’t dawn on you quick enough. Sure, he looked a bit familiar to you but who doesn’t when you’re always out and about seeing so many different faces on a daily basis? His name, Haechan, didn’t ring any bells. Now though, the shame of staring at his sweaty pecs and biceps came crashing down the moment you realized who Haechan actually is. 
He didn’t do a damn thing to remind you either, if anything, all he did was walk around all sweaty in the afternoon heat with his tank top either sticking to him, or off entirely. It appears that you had just been too busy running errands with your child, considering his shifts were always when you were home. Too busy cooking, cleaning, reading, lounging. Too busy looking at…well, not his face. 
Too busy to give the man a glance more than that of a slice of pie behind a bakery window. 
Haechan. 
Since fucking when was that his name?
“Lee Donghyuck.” You whimper near mortified, three weeks too late as you hand him his pay with nervous hands. “Spray-cheese in my hair Donghyuck?” 
“Ah, was wondering when you’d pick up on that.” He smiles at you with that crooked grin, a knowing look that any man at a bar would give you if he had caught you checking him out. Then, he pockets the hefty amount of cash that you hand to him. “I go by Haechan more often these days.” He trails off, an amused smirk half-falling as he looks at your expression of realization. “You can call me whatever you want though.”
He’s well aware of how often you’ve checked him out since he started intentionally taking his clothes off. After all, it’s mid-july by this point and the sun baring down on him doesn’t quite call for a fucking turtle neck sweater. Or a T-shirt, or a tank top, for that matter. It calls for all skin baby, beautifully tanned and toned for you and any of your neighbors to look at if they so wanted to. 
Haechan doesn’t work out for nothing, after all. Summer after summer, he’s found himself to be quite fond of the rich women that hire him for their pool services. Always wanting an attractive young man to wander around half naked and satiate their lack of sex life with their husbands, or boytoys, or what have you. He knows all that extra pay isn’t because he does a good job either. He’s gotten winks, small comments, even a few offers of his body for more pay.
He’s turned them all down, of course. For a full-on affair, anyway. Haechan has gotten a few blow jobs and quickies as a tip before though, and a lot of that is why he keeps getting referred to more women. Richer women. Never single women. 
Until you. 
He quite enjoyed catching you looking at him. Especially given the fact that he knew exactly who you were when you introduced yourself to him via text. That little childhood crush on you came back within an instant upon actually seeing you again. Truly, he had forgotten all about you up until that fateful day three weeks ago. 
If he’s being honest, he’s been pining something fierce since he first stepped foot on your property. Excitement swelled inside of him just to see you again. To see if you’re still hot, to see how you’re doing, what you’re doing. How your life is going.
 He knew you didn’t recognize his nickname through text, and he definitely knew you didn’t recognize him to be eating him up with those eyes of yours either. So, he played along, enjoying it while he could before it would inevitably dawn on you. Still, he remembers you so well from back then. Crazy to know that he rarely thought of you for the past twelve years or so, and how all those little butterflies of his came back in a far more mature way. He was only twelve back then, but he’s a man now. 
Twenty four and perfectly sound as a man who knows what he likes. The fact that you happen to fall into that category is no fault of his own, honestly. It’s your fault if anyone’s at all. Haechan is a man that likes a specific type of woman too. Woman. Not a girl, not a young lady, not a free spirit, nor a prude. He is drawn to the idea of experience, to the idea of settling down. It’s not easy to find that at his age, in college, surrounded by party girls and casual drug use. 
And, well, imagine his smile upon seeing your lovely, lavish home with the large pool, no ring on your finger, a whole fucking child, and your motherly instincts when you buckle her into the car for an errand. Oh and the broken fence in the far back of your yard.
You’re a single mom. 
A hot single mom who lives lavishly. One who could probably use a man’s help around your house.
He half expected you to be able to recognize him when he appeared for work the first time. He even had a monologue in his head on what to say to you, and how to present himself. You didn’t seem to take notice though, introducing yourself to him as if you hadn’t spent all that time in his childhood home when you were a teenager. Like you never mothered him, or put him to sleep with the soft stories when you let him watch all those scary movies before bed. Even at twelve, he was a scaredy cat.
 Clearly you’re too busy experiencing life to notice the way he fawns over you too. Hating how you’re more reserved than the other lavish, fixed-up women. You seem to have standards, or maybe it’s just priorities ... that's so hot. Truly, it only makes him want you more because by now, the other women would already be rubbing all over him. The ones who shouldn’t be wanting him the way they do. So, yes, he’s always stealing glances at you with sparkling dark eyes, fantasizing in his head that this pool is his to clean now, because that’s what a good man would do for you, right? With him around servicing your pool and lawn, you’d never need to hire or spend money on another broke ass college student again.
Yes. That’s how quickly he fell into this infatuation solely because you looked at him like you want it without realizing who he was. Hell, without realizing how perfect you are in terms of what he wants.
God, how are you still single? 
Like, why do you have a child and a house so beautiful without a man wandering around doing all of this work for you? Not that you couldn’t do it on your own, it’s just, you clearly have the means to make a man do as you please. Why haven’t you?
You happen to fall almost perfectly into the categories of what he’s looking for. Save for the fact that now you recognize him as that kid you used to babysit rather than the man who tries to be sexy while cleaning your pool. Which is a fucking shame, if he’s being honest, to be written off as that same ten year old child rather than a fucking man who very clearly has needs and desires. 
The point is– Haechan wants you and he parades around your pool for you to look at him. So what if you used to babysit him? It’s not like you’re an old swamp-hag trying to lure him with candy. You’re just…a woman. And he’s just a man. 
“Well, thank you for cleaning again,” You trail off in an awkward tone, shifting your eyes to anywhere but him. He watches you though, smiling a smile you know all too well from his childhood antics. It must mean something different now, or maybe not. “I guess I’ll see you next week?” 
“Well, actually,” Haechan offers, “Would you be opposed to–” You cut him off instantly with an awkward wave of your hand.
You don’t know why you make assumptions, maybe from that damned smile on his face, but you do recall your ex husband reminding you time and time again that it’s one of the things he hated about you. 
Assumptions. Always thinking the worst, or perhaps the most filthy of situations and expressions. To be fair, you feel guilty about how you’ve been looking at him, you can’t help but panic trying to pretend like it never happened, and that he never saw it happen.
“I’m not interested, Donghyuck.” You respond hastily, pressing your thumb to your bottom lip to bite the skin on it, keeping your eyes away from him with the awkward words. After all, he knew who you were this whole time and paraded around like that? 
Even before recognizing him yourself, you know men well enough to know when they’re trying to flaunt. Is it so wrong to assume?
“Interested in what?” Haechan tilts his head knowingly, seeing the way you buckle under the guilt of staring at the very man you used to tuck into bed every night. He can see the way you try to push those sexual thoughts you had away in the quick rejection to a simple assumption. 
 “I was just going to ask if you want me to fix your fence.” 
Ah, you did get ahead of yourself through the guilt, and you’re far too aware of it as you draw your eyes back to him and note the expression on his face. Amused, maybe a bit of concern in his eyes, even? 
“Ah, um–” You start, trailing your eyes down your fence line never once noticing a break in it. Haechan is quick to point though, leaning to you with a whisper of “right there.” And well, you did not need to hear that tone in his voice the way you just did.
God, it’s so awkward.
“Well, how much would that cost me?” You question with an empty voice, staring at the broken fence. 
“Free.” He uses the same tone, leaning away from you now and smiling wide. “That is, if you provide lunch.” 
Well, despite the awkwardness, that break over there would cost you a pretty penny to fix, and your daughter needs the safety of playing in her own yard without random animals or worse, people, making their way in. Plus, you’re quite fond of saving money. How else would you be here if you weren’t good at it? And now, given that you’re most definitely not interested in Haechan, what's the harm in making a few sandwiches for someone you already know well enough? It’s not like you’ve never made him lunch before.
The awkwardness will pass and your guilt will subside. You both will laugh at it over a cold glass of iced lemonade, surely. It’s not like you realized who he was anyway, it’s not like you’re just gonna keep looking at him like that. You should just push forward and it’ll all be fine. 
“Hell, I’d even watch the kiddo so you can have a break every now and then.” He watches your reaction, wanting to ask so many questions about why you’re single, who the father is, where he is, why he isn’t here. “After all, I learned quite a bit from you.” 
For a second you consider that too.
And there’s three reasons as to why you should. The first being that you were literally just looking for a new child care facility due to learning of the staff coming to work while sick. Your poor daughter came home with a fever just last week, and you’ve had little luck in finding a place with the same educational benefits for her. 
The second being that, well, while you’re not hurting for cash or anything, it wouldn’t hurt to be able to put a little more back for her college fund. Or for fun little vacations. 
And lastly, despite your guilt of lusting over someone you shouldn’t have, you know Donghyuck and you know his family even better. No background check would be needed, your daughter could be in the comfort of her own home rather than a classroom setting that she’s sure to see for at least twenty years of her life in the future. 
So, yes. You consider it instantly, and Haechan sees it. 
You only know of the childhood version of him and, well, the slutty pool-side version of him apparently. If only you knew of that other side of him and how fond he is of watching his own younger cousins. How good he is with children, and how much he clings to the idea of being a father one day.
Haechan is great with kids, with or without them having a hot mom.
And well, he knows that he’s fond of looking at you at least. Besides, as long as you can work with his class schedules, he’d be willing to do just about anything to play pretend-husband, even if you’re unaware of it. 
“Is that so?” You finally ask, curious eyes looking at him with a furrowed brow. “Shouldn’t you be out living the life? College parties and such?” You add, wondering why such a great deal has managed to flop down on your lap. The idea of even cheaper childcare without the risk of unvaccinated children, and sick caretakers being far too good of a deal to pass up. 
“Well, yeah I guess.” He shrugs, leaning backwards to stretch and roll his shoulders. “Not really my scene though. I have classes Monday and Wednesday all day, Tuesday and Thursdays my classes are online. If you can work around that, I’d rather just be making money and chilling.” 
You think about it just for a second more when he continues. 
“I can be here on weekends too. Maybe you should be the one out relaxing and having some drinks.” 
“Well, I don’t quite need that, or for you to be here on weekends.” You think as you say it, knowing you have given up on going out to try and meet men two years ago. “I could pay you though, let’s say, thirty an hour?” 
Well, shit, that’s not too bad at all, especially considering he’s about to give up on cleaning the pools of a few women in his contacts for this. It’s a major pay cut, but still enough to get by comfortably if you’ll have him multiple times a week. That plus the pool cleaning money? And free lunch? 
“Oh, you don’t go out at all? I don’t see why not, could probably get a man in no time–” Haechan ignores the wage offer and pushes to note the singlehood he had been noticing for the past three weeks. “and the pay is fine.” 
“Ah, well, the dating pool isn’t so great in this neck of the woods.” You scratch the back of your neck when you say it. “That aside, I'll have her in day care on the days you can’t be here, but it really would be a big help. Thank you for the offer, Donghyuck. And for the fence too.” 
He watches you with a firm nod, shoving his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts, still entirely shirtless in front of you. 
“And the pool.” You add quietly after a moment. 
“I think you’d be surprised about the dating pool.” He smiles as he pushes the subject back to what you had previously said, hoping you believe those words before continuing. “So, when do you want me to start?” 
“Is tomorrow too soon? You’re okay to set up here with your online classes?”
“Tomorrow is perfect.” He smiles.
“I’m sure she would be so happy knowing she won’t be going to daycare–” You clap, feeling a bit less awkward despite the boldness of the man in front of you. You’re sure he’s just teasing you for knowing you checked him out. “I know I am.” 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
It’s a little too perfect, actually.
After that first day of watching your child and making a lazy attempt at “fixing your fence,” he’s settled in like it’s home. He wishes it was, with the lavish lifestyle in a house far too pretty compared to his own living space with piles upon piles of laundry he’s too lazy to pick up for himself. 
It’s different for you though. Different when he’s here.
Truly, he feels like he’s living the life after a couple of weeks with decent pay and a comfy space to do his homework. He watches your child, which is arguably the hardest part of the job but she’s well behaved for him. In fact, she seems to have taken a shine to him.
He’s starting to be very intentional with taking far too long to work on your fence too, and still maintaining your pool. He’s trying to drag this out for as long as he can. Even if just to see if you still look at him when you come home the same way you did before recognizing him. You never do though. When his shirt is off and he’s wiping his forehead in the sun, you don’t look at him anymore.
Hell, he’s even considered breaking things in your home just to give himself more jobs to do. More things that make him feel needed, like a husband. More things that you thank him for fixing, even if it breaks again two days later.
And ah, the food in your fridge is always free reign to him, that large television in the living room too. God, sometimes he dreads going home, and by sometimes, he means all the time. Who in their right mind would ever fucking want to live outside of this lifestyle? He really can’t believe you’re single, nor can he believe that he has the opportunity to be in your home, close to you. It shouldn’t take too long now to convince you, right? That you don’t necessarily have to be single? That you need him around to live even more comfortably?
In short, Haechan is in his head about how he’s practically just roleplaying as your stay-at-home husband before having to go back to his shitty little apartment and remind himself that he’s just a fucking college student with no interest in the people on campus. And like, even with the way you come home from work, all groggy and exhausted on the days he’s there, you always thank him before giving him his pay. What he likes best about those nights is when you’re too exhausted to even pay him and you promise to do it next time.
In his mind, that’s you promising to see him again. 
He could give less of a shit about the pay at this point, as long as he gets to be in this house, smelling your favorite candles and dish detergents, seeing you, being a semi-father to a child who deserves more love than the two of you combined can give…he’ll fucking do anything you want for free. 
It’s difficult sometimes, like he really can’t help it. Some days wandering around this house and imagining how the two of you could have landed on buying it together. How the rooms would be organized if he were here from the start. Claiming his spot on your couch like any dad would. Playing dolls with your daughter, laughing with her, letting her paint his nails and put his hair in little pigtails. He even cleans your pool as if it were his own, meaning, he genuinely cleans it. 
He has taken it upon himself to mow your lawn, confusing the yard workers that you apparently hired years ago. Did he accidentally fire them? Maybe, but any good husband would save you money, right? He checks your mail, waves to your neighbors and lets them make assumptions. 
And every single fucking night it’s harder and harder to go back home.
Especially after a full day of playing dad then seeing you come back so tired. Turning off that switch in his head isn’t easy. He wants to greet you like the husband you don’t have. He wants to ease your hard days in so many ways. Tell you he’s proud of you, that you still look so pretty after an exhausting shift of whatever the fuck you do. He wants to serve you dinner, run you a bath, fix your hair, lay you down– oh, he’s fantasizing again. Unfortunately, he has to settle with seeing the relief on your face when he lets you know in a soft voice that he’s cooked dinner and he will heat it up for you before leaving, kiddo is in her room sleeping, no dishes in the sink, and laundry is folded and put away. 
He loves the appreciation in your eyes, and sometimes even sees a glint of sadness. He can tell you wish you had this from a person who isn’t here for pay. Someone who loves you, and loves your child, and feels joy in making your life easier. 
Fuck, if only you knew. 
And  you’d be lying if you tried to say Haechan isn’t a godsend to you on the days he babysits. Many times you find yourself wishing he’d just move in and do everything that you can’t do. You’d pay him well, give him a guest room, whatever. But it’s just…not viable to support a full time employee like that, nor is it fair to your daughter. 
She needs a parent, not a paid college student who needs some extra cash. You have to be that parent, you have to make time for her and witness all of her joys in life. You have to protect her and never bring in faces of men who claim to want to be a father, only to run and break her heart more than your own. 
For now, you settle with this godsend of a little shit you used to babysit. Still you can barely believe that’s the same person, but again…time changes things. And thankfully, the awkwardness of what you did has died down drastically.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Today, you’re more thankful for Haechan than you have been previously. After a heavy workload has been lifted off your back with the approval of this project, you need a night out. For the first time in years, you’re giving yourself a night out, all because you have someone you can trust to be here for your daughter.
He was so understanding when you called,  happy to come over right then and there to put her to bed and mostly just house-sit for the night. Even without an end time for him, and even without asking for extra pay, he just…accepted with an understanding tone and that stupid breathy chuckle he gives to you when you ask for favors. “What? You need me there right now? I’m putting on my shoes.” He had said.
It’s the fact that now, as he sits on your couch looking at you in your chosen outfit– he seems a little off. Maybe it’s because you asked him where the best spots in town are because it’s been so long since you’ve gone out, or maybe he just feels awkward seeing so much skin on your body. 
To be fair, he didn’t realize you were going out out. He thought that maybe you were gonna go stay with a friend to celebrate and have a drink or two. 
In reality though, he’s just awestruck. Already you look great even after your busy days at work but…this is a different level. The way your tits look in that push-up bra and tiny ass top, when he’s used to seeing you head out in some sort of business casual outfit without an ounce of skin showing save for your ankles or wrists…jesus. He’s struggling more than usual to keep himself calm around you, hopping up on one leg when you walk away to try and adjust the chub in his pants, and releasing a small sigh before you’re looking at him again.
His skin feels like it’s on fire knowing you’re going out looking like that.
“You sure you're okay to sleep over? I figure it’ll be easier since I’m not sure when I’ll come home, or if I come home.” You smile with a wink, your stomach in knots over the two shots you’ve taken for the first time in years. “I can call my friends and tell them not to come if you’d rather focus on your studies.” 
Haechan shakes his head, waving his hands in defense for you as if he didn’t just see the way your tits bounce and squish against your shirt with each move you make. 
“No, no! Go on, have fun.” He says, encouraging you to go out despite hoping you come home with no luck of finding a man out there. 
Just, look at you. Fuck, he’s staring again. He hates knowing that he could be one of the guys at whatever bar or club you’re landing on tonight. He could be the person that makes sure you don’t come home, getting to plant his face right there. He could be whatever you want him to be if you’re looking like that. 
But no, he has to play husband again, which is normally something he’s all too excited to do. Tonight though, he feels like a fucking cuckold. After everything he does for you, after not mentioning how you’ve skipped a few of his payments, after slaving away for hours over your pool, your household chores, fixing and breaking that fucking dishwasher, cooking you dinner every single night he’s here just to make sure you have a meal when you get off of work…you imply you may not come home tonight?
And you’re dressed like that?
And you’re…
God, you just look so good right now. It pains him to know you didn’t dress like this for him, the only man who cares enough to make your life easy. He’s not mad at you, per se, but he’s pissed that you don’t see him as an option despite showing you time and time again that not only is he an option, but the right choice. 
This is what you look like when you want to impress a man? This is how you act? How you talk? Fuck, god, fuck– maybe he’s just too deep in his one-sided roleplay but it really, really fucking feels like he’s watching his woman go off and look for someone else to fuck.
“Thank you, Donghyuck,” You smile, walking over to him with a saunter in your step and a gentle smile across your lips. 
He’s never heard you speak his name so sensually, the way his cock twitches forces him to wince away from you. He’s never even seen you saunter before. Fucking hell, somehow it feels worse seeing you act like this after how many times he’s imagined it, all alone in his room. 
A slow walk from you, with the strap of your shirt slipping off your shoulder, fat tits threatening to spill out, lifting the hem of your skirt, or dress, or whatever you’re wearing in his fantasy at that point. Your voice, so soft, so sexy. And you’re practically bringing his fantasy to life right now, except he knows you’re going to fucking walk away from him like this. Into the fucking arms of some random dude at a club. 
Probably some loser he’s seen on campus too.
“It means a lot.” You add, popping a quick, platonic kiss to the top of his forehead. 
Ah, lip gloss. That little kiss on him is enough to ignite him to the point of no return. He almost wants to skip the part of asking you not to go and straight up just beg that you pick him, that you choose him. It’s not just your home, or the luxuries that come with it. It’s you that he wants. You’re the fucking luxury and you’re just gonna go to some sticky-floored club and pretend he’s not clearly checking you the fuck out right now? Like he’s not about three seconds from dropping to his knees just to see you from the angle you deserve?! 
“It’s no problem.” Haechan relents, dropping himself onto your couch instead and adjusting his body to sink deep into the cushions just to keep himself from arguing against everything he’s giving you permission to do right now. 
Hah. Permission.
“Be safe.” He adds in an even more monotone voice. “I’ll be here when you get back.” 
And god, he seethes in his thoughts after you close that door and hop into the car with your friends. You don’t look like a mother tonight, and he wonders if you’ll be upfront and forward with anyone you intend to hit on too. Probably not. He’s well aware of the men in this city, after all, he’s one of them.
It’s really not something he can control after seeing you like that either. Your child is already in bed and he’s just sitting here on your couch with a throbbing, fucking weeping cock thinking about you. What’s stopping him from taking care of it? You’re not here, after all. 
You’re not fucking here. But everything about you is. 
And that’s how he finds himself in your bedroom for the first time, barely making it a foot into the room before closing the door and dropping to the floor. The scent in your room is different. It’s feminine, gentle, like the energy is kissing him all over and sending goosebumps straight to the head of his cock. He couldn’t even pull it out, already holding his breath with his hand down his pants, vigorously trying to get what he wants so badly yet knowing that his hand will never compare to you. 
And it’s here where he feels like a husband. Spilling against his pants with a silent, choked back sob as he stares forward at your bed, and the way you didn’t make it this morning. It’s messy, and he wants to be in that mess of sheets with you more than anything. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Haechan hates that he’s now forced to get used to your late night ventures. Every weekend now. Every. Fucking. Weekend.  You ask if he’s willing to stay over so you can go unwind, and despite his better (or worse) judgment, he accepts. The only solace he finds in these ventures is knowing you consistently come back home right after usual closing times, and you’re mostly sober. Sometimes a bit whiny that you’re not lucking out, worrying that maybe you’re too old now, or maybe you’re just not as desirable. There have even been a few times where you’ve exposed your ex husband during your rants, giving Haechan little hints to follow as to why you’re single, and how he left you. 
Still, he knows in your tipsy state that you usually wouldn’t talk about these things with him, but he’s all too happy to get the details once you come home. Mostly because it calms his rising rage at how you’re doing this to not only him, but yourself. It’s mostly because you’re technically coming home to him though. 
And every single time, you go back to your bedroom to grab his payment even though it could wait until morning, considering he’s been sleeping in the guest room– all he can think about is how he’s been in your room. He’s gotten off countless times by now by the smell of your room alone, still barely able to even reach your bed to lay in it himself for a better experience. God, he’s probably memorized each little fray in your carpeted bedroom floor by now with how much he’s zoned out on it mid-jerk off session right there on his knees at your door. 
He’s truly pathetic for you. 
This time though…three in the morning has passed and normally you’d have been stumbling through the door an hour ago. Normally, he’d be fighting back the need to tell you that you’re beautiful, not too old, and entirely desirable. Normally, he would be fisting his cock again in your guest room before sleep, getting off on the idea that he can cum in a house that you live in, smothered by the sheets you meticulously picked out to match the walls of the room. Moaning for you, practically crying for you to let him do it all. 
Have you really done it this time? Gone off with some man? Are you getting railed right now in some hotel, or car, or someone’s shitty man-cave? God, his mind is racing, both aroused at the fact that you must be horny to be constantly wanting to go out like this, but equally as devastated because like…he’s right here.
Who the fuck cares if you babysat him? He’s a man. No longer that child who sprayed cheese in your hair or dumped salt into the bag of sugar. He’s a fucking man, cooking you dinner when you work, parenting your child, cleaning your house, maintaining your pool and fence….He does everything for you, why the fuck don’t you see it?!
Click.
Haechan’s ears perk up instantly at the sound. He sits up on the couch from his depressed slump of scrolling through his phone, quickly fixing his hair and clearing his throat. 
In you stumble, right into the little entryway table with a whisper-scream of “Shit, fuck–”
Haechan looks at your state before standing to his feet and rushing to you, helping you balance on your feet despite your footing not quite being grounded even with his help. You lean on him closely, letting out an alcohol scented sigh. 
His nostrils flare as he holds his breath, feeling your tit press against his arm, smelling the drinks, the sweat, and the dulled perfume on you. Then, a hint of something else. Musk. 
You’ve been with a man. 
He holds back a gesture at the way you lean on him. Nothing more he could want at this moment but to hold you tightly and tell you that he’s got you, despite the panic in his stomach at the way he sniffs out another man. Out of lust, love, desperation, frustration. This is the closest you’ve been to him for this long. You feel clammy and cold, a clear indication that you drank far, far too much. Your tank top is sticking to you, your eyes are a bit glassy–
“You’re late.” He says shortly.
“Late?!” You raise your voice before looking at him with drowsy eyes, furrowing your brow. “I don’t have a curfe-”
“Shh–” He shushes you, helping you get to the living room. “She’s sleeping and you’re going to have her make a fuss about waking up.”
You giggle to yourself as he drops you onto the couch, now aware that yes, you are not a single college student anymore. You’re a single woman. A fucking mother. 
You should’ve just gotten a hotel for the night and slept there to dream a little longer. 
“Right.” You laugh, slouching, spreading out wide against the couch and trying to fix your gaze on him. “Why’re you still awake?” 
Haechan fixes his eyes on you, swallowing around a lump in his throat. The way you’re slouching…seemingly forgetting that you’re wearing a skirt and basically flashing your panties at him. God, the things could do to you right now. The things he could get away with if he wanted to. He tries to shake those thoughts for now, and instead, inspects you from head to toe.
He’s never seen you look so relaxed. Chest raising and falling with each breath, hair a little messy, lipstick stains smeared on the outsides of your lip line. He chooses to ignore the faint swell against your neck indicating someone has been sucking on you. But, well, he can’t ignore it. Both his cock and heart aches at the very thought.
“You’ve been kissing?” Haechan tries to ask nonchalantly. 
“A lot more than that–” You smile, feeling a flush cross your cheeks before the disappointment hits you square in the gut. 
Haechan watches your face fall, and he mimics it by falling onto the couch and sitting by your head…you know, allowing you to lay your head on him if you want to. You’d probably not notice his arousal anyway, given your state. 
“Oh?” He asks gently, the disappointment now showing plainly on not just your face, but his own.
“Thought I was gonna go home with him, turns out he decided to be done after a blowjob in the parking lot.”
Oh, the way his blood boils. Not for the fact that you were used or rejected, but for the fact that you found someone that you were interested in and genuinely intended to leave your home life in his hands for however fucking long. Really? Just gonna leave him here all alone? Like he couldn’t do better for you?
“It’s for the better–” Haechan says as he shivers with irritation, struggling to keep his facade up. It’s definitely not what you wanted to hear, and definitely not what you’d have expected to hear from a college guy at all either.
“This happened last time too, except he didn’t even get me to the parking lot.” You huff, unaware of how much you’re sharing right now. 
He bites back the anger yet again, inhaling deeply before releasing a calming breath through his nose just to contain it. So…it has happened more than once? 
“Why don’t you let me take you out someday?” He says suddenly, well aware that you’ll probably never remember he said it in the first place. 
If anything, he’s testing the waters for his own sake. He’d hate himself forever if he didn’t at least take advantage of this moment a little bit. 
“Then who will watch my daughter?” You respond in slurred speech, not even comprehending who it is that’s asking you this question right now. Not even thinking about your history with him, or the family ties. 
He, on the other hand, is quite entertained by the way you don’t bring the history up like he expected. His cock twitches at it, bumping your head just a bit, not enough for you to notice apparently. Fuck, it would be so easy for him to pull it out right now, and just…tap your lips with it. 
Maybe you’d even open your mouth for him. 
“I’ll skip class on a Wednesday, we can go while she’s still in daycare.” He continues through an almost-moan, encouraging the conversation to stay positive.
“Donghyuck–” You slur before clearing your throat and sitting back up in a dizzy show of how drunk you are. “You know I can’t do that. It’s too weird.” 
In all fairness, you know he has like…a thing for you. After all, why else would a college dude be spending his weekends here babysitting your kid? It’s not like you haven’t noticed the way he checks you out before you go out for the night. Why would he do all of this if he didn’t have some sort of attraction to you? Sure, you’re taking advantage of it as best as you can despite how you didn’t recognize him at first. 
Despite how deep down, you very well know how attracted to him you are too. 
“Only because you make it weird.” Haechan rolls his eyes as he looks at you, spreading his legs out to adjust his comfort, noting the way you glance down to his lap and see it. “I’m a grown man–” He starts, spreading his legs wider, pressing his cock against his pants to the point you can practically see the outline.”you know this.” He continues, trying to be bold now by reaching forward and moving a strand of your hair from your cheek. 
“You’ve seen it.”
You freeze, suddenly feeling entirely too sober to be talking about this kind of thing with him. With Donghyuck. God, his mother would fucking kill you if she found out he’s in your house while you’re out trying to get fucked by whoever is willing to love you temporarily. 
Haechan sees you thinking though, and continues to take the advantage now that he’s feeling brave. Now that you’ve seen the twitch in his pants and haven’t moved off the couch, or told him to go home. 
“I saw you watching me when I was cleaning your pool, multiple times.” He whispers snidely. “You stopped when you realized who I am. Why?”
“Donghyu–…” You trail off. “You know this isn’t okay. What would people think of me? There are rules, and I will not go down this route with you.”
A rush of air hits your face and suddenly, warmth hits your cheek. You feel him so close, closer than ever before. It’s dizzying. Haechan is over you, hovering with one hand ghosting over your hip. 
“You want to though, don’t you?” He gets even closer now, darting his eyes down at your chest and unable to pull them away. “Knowing how good I am with your daughter? How well I clean up? How strong I can be–”
You swallow hard. For a moment, you almost lean into him. You almost melt right then and there, the need for intimacy so heavy inside of you after being left high and dry, knowing that you’d accept it from just about anyone at this point. But– this is Donghyuck. You can’t. 
You really, really, can’t. 
The look of disappointment in his eyes kind of hurts when you’re pushing him away. That playful smirk falling faster than you think your sanity did the day your ex husband left you. 
“This–” You pause, realizing all too well how he’s used your drunken state against you for this conversation. “This is your last paycheck.”
“I don’t think so.” The smirk is back now, except…it’s different. “You know I promised her a Barbie dream house next weekend.” He smiles fully now. “She’s a bit attached, you know, even called me dad by accident the other day.” 
You’re shocked. 
“She…what?”
“You know she’s attached to me already, don’t be selfish.” Haechan shrugs at you while rolling his eyes, leaning against the couch again and turning his head to look at you. You try to pretend that you don’t see his hand slightly groping himself. “Guess she misses having a father around. Can’t be too easy for her, especially with her mom going out every weekend trying to fuck guys who would run the second they learn about her.” He ticks his tongue now, as if he’s pitying you more than your daughter. 
“Donghyuck, that’s not–”
“That’s not, what?”
“That’s not what I’m doing…” You lower your voice to a near whisper, upset that you couldn’t even enjoy the drunken state you came home in, now feeling entirely too sober, and a little sick in the stomach. 
“Oh, so you haven’t gotten laid since I’ve been here–” He leans closer again now, trying to resume what he was going to do just moments ago. “They haven’t even touched you, have they?” His hands move to your thigh and presses down as if to hold you in place. “Why?”
“I try not to just sleep with anyone.” You lie, knowing you’d sleep with anyone just to feel wanted for once. And you’re trying to ignore his hands on you right now, trying desperately not to like it. It’s the first time a man has touched you in this house since your husband left you. As expected, you almost feel your knees buckle despite sitting comfortably. “I have to be careful, you know?”
“Mm, I know more than you think.” He leans into you, hovering yet again with his upper half over you as he whispers it. “Don’t need to be careful around me though.” He adds, this time trailing his voice right against your jaw, up to your ear. “You must be so frustrated.” He ghosts his lips there for a moment, waiting for you to push him away, or say something, anything, really. 
“Why would I be frustrated?” You lend the smallest of whispers, feeling the goosebumps against your skin rising at the mere thought of giving in just this once.
“Not having anyone to please you.” He adds now, landing a very slight kiss right under your lobe. “Always being used for someone else’s pleasure, maybe?”
You almost nod, feeling weak in your state and thoughts swimming with what if’s, morals, and anxieties. You’re frozen in place despite knowing a simple push would create the distance you need to breathe. 
“Your fingers will never be enough, will they?” He continues, essentially chaining you to this couch with his words alone. You can’t help the fight in your head, you need to feel wanted, and you want so badly to feel needed. “I bet you wish someone would love you for all that you are, not all that you have.” 
It’s silent as you feel his lips press down again, this time moving his body over you almost entirely. You can feel the couch dip a bit as he places all of his weight on a knee, moving his other leg to stand between yours.
“You must need someone to fill that hole in you by now, right? That pussy of yours?” He continues, his tone a bit more snide now as you give in to his hold with shaky breaths. 
And truthfully, Haechan has never let himself come on this strong towards someone before. Usually the wives are doing this to him. They’re trying to convince him, encourage him. He’s so fucking horny right now though, with that daze in your eye, your legs spread around his knee, blinking up at him like a cheating wife. As if you want to apologize, as if you need him to forgive you. Need him to make everything better.
“I heard you the other day, you know, talking to your mom–” He smiles, tilting his head to look into your eyes, seeing a small shine in them. “You want another, don’t you?” He continues, moving his lips now just over yours as he, now, presses you firmly against the couch. “You must hate knowing that I’m the only person who can do that for you.” 
“God, Haechan.” You immediately buckle, not realizing how suddenly he’s not Donghyuck at this moment. He’s someone else. He’s Haechan.
“Why don’t you go for girls on campus?! Don’t you have parties to be attending on the weekends instead of being here, trying to parent my chil–”
“Lower that voice of yours,” He whispers, eyes now hooded as he looks at you. “You know she’s asleep.”
God, he’s right. 
“Besides, why would I want them when I have you right here under me–” He tilts his head. “Looking so disappointed that you like it, too.” 
Right then, your moral code shines into the front of your mind at the consideration of giving in.
A weight on one shoulder chanting, “No! What would people say?! What would people think?!”, and then little to no weight on the other shoulder, echoing in a sweet song of “Finally! Someone who will love you! Finally! Someone! Finally!!! Finally!” 
You pause, not knowing at all what to do. Your body wants to push him away, even your mind and soul wants you to push him away. But you know deep down, you’d only push him away to see if he will try again. No man has ever tried for you like this, and you need more of it. 
To feel desired after so long of neglecting this side of yourself, it’s enough to make a person lose their footing in reality. To give in to just about anyone willing to look at you the way he is right now. It’s the fact that you go out to try and find it, and even with this alone, Haechan has satisfied you more than any stranger promising to make you cum.
“I…don’t know what to say–” You stutter. “I don’t know what to do.”
“I do.” Haechan smiles, glancing at your lips before meeting your eye again. “Why not hand over the reins and relax for a–” His hand dips under your skirt, cupping your sensitive cunt in one hand alone. “Ah, I knew it.” Then, his other hand finds purchase on your chest, lifting your heavy breast in his hand with a blatant, hard squeeze.
After a sharp inhale you look away from him in shame, afraid to admit it despite the truth of it leaking through your panties and onto his palm.
“Wet.” He smiles, no longer looking at you but flicking his eyes back and forth from between your legs, and to your chest. Still, he fumbles around the wet spot, wanting so badly to lift these fingers to his mouth and taste. He’s fantasized about it, about how you’d taste, how warm it would be, what your pussy would feel like against his fingers–
And just as he’s pushing your panties to the side, pads of his fingers touching right where you need them with his eyes hooded and watching you closely, something snaps.
You push his hand away, only to feel him push back, holding you down with more force, gripping your tit tighter, sliding his fingers in before massaging the slit with a blatant moan on his lips. Then, you try again, shoving him back only to hear him chuckle and continue his antics until– you jump to your feet. It felt too good, too grounding to have him touching you like this. You nearly stumble back over the coffee table, but you manage to stand tall and firm despite the fact that even though your mind feels sober, your body is fucking wasted.
“Donghyuck.” You argue immediately, using his name the same way you did when he was a child. “Stop.” 
He throws his hands up in defense, raising his brows in surprise. 
“I–” He pauses, staring at you. “I thought you were enjoying it, my mistake.” 
It’s the fact that you were. You were enjoying it too much, and there would have been no defending your actions if you had given in to the feeling. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid. That’s what you are. 
Your ex husband was right all along. Out of everything you’ve accomplished since your heart was shattered, ripped to shreds, stomped on, you’d think it would take a lot more to break you. 
“You ask for too much.” Your ex husband had said once. “You can’t even stand to be alone for one day.” He had said a year or so later. Small digs on who you are and what you need sprinkled into small arguments, only to come more and more from the lips that you kissed and promised to kiss until you die. Until all of his words were to make you feel inadequate. Until everything he said to you stuck with you, forcing your confidence to bury itself six feet under. 
Are you to blame? As it stands, maybe. Why else would you be allowing yourself to consider it? Consider Donghyuck, you mean. Never in your life would you have considered him of all people to be the one that you need. 
Never in your life would you have thought he’d be interested in a woman like you, in a situation like yours, with a child. Why did that night with him stick in your head more than every single mean thing your ex husband said to you? Why did his words seem more believable? 
Because you were drunk at the time? Wet, neglected, and drunk? 
Then why is it that you’re sitting here on your day off with your beautiful, bright-eyed daughter rummaging through your purse for whatever catches her eye….and you’re thinking about him? About what he's doing right now, how he’s feeling, if he’s eaten. 
Why is it that you’ve gone the entire week ignoring his texts, asking if you need him to come resume his job as babysitter? Why the fuck do you want to accept after how he took advantage of your state of mind? After he came onto you and tried to manipulate you? 
Despite all of his words ringing true in the back of your head. That was a dirty tactic he pulled on you. Yet, still…you want him back, and god fucking dammit you could cry knowing your daughter called him “dad.” You hadn’t believed him at first, but after this week alone it slipped from her mouth several times. 
“He’s not your dad, baby, that’s just Donghyuck.” You remember correcting her more than once, and all she responded to you with was a confused expression. 
“Why not?” Is what her little voice gave back to you after her child-like brain decided it was fed up with you correcting her very right assumption of the guy who promised her the Barbie Dream House. 
Why not?
Why not?
Well, if you could have an adult conversation with a five year old it would be much easier to answer that. Because he sprayed cheese in your hair. Because you were seventeen and his babysitter when he was twelve years old. Because you ogled him without recognizing him as your pool boy. Because of a lot of things.
“Uncle Donghyuck.” You finally corrected her again. 
She shook her head, and continued doing and saying as her little mind pleased. It made you miss having a father around for her though. You think she needs it more than you do. 
And that fucking Barbie Dream house is what brings Haechan back. 
Right at your doorstep today, with a gentle knock to the door and a timid smile on his face. He doesn’t even look at you when you open the door, instead he crouches down in front of you with the big, flashy box. He ignores you, tilting himself to look past you and straight at your daughter. 
You hold your breath when she runs to Haechan, arms spread open and laughter shrieking in your ears. Your heart aches so much at this moment. 
Given your work schedule, you’d never gotten to see them interact much. He always came over as she was eating her breakfast, and you always came home after she was put to bed. You guess it’s fair that they have a bond now. She doesn’t even run at you like she does for Haechan. In fact, the only time she ever does is when she had a bad day at daycare or had a tummy ache. 
She runs to you when she needs you, but she runs to Haechan like she wants to. Like she genuinely is attached to him, and his kind smile, and his eyes, and probably that warm embrace that you’ve never let yourself experience.
You watch them, not allowing yourself to melt at the moment because you did not invite him over, nor did you give consent to bring that fucking doll house here. But you can’t say no now, as she clings to his leg when he stands up and looks at you with an almost irritated glint in his eye. 
His eyes trail all over you briefly too, as if checking for any new spots or marks that a man could have put on you. You feel seen, dipping your head to not meet his eye and scratching your neck as if to hide a spot there. There isn’t a mark, it’s just…fear? nervousness? anxiety? 
And then he hauls the box in for her without saying a word to you. You watch him hard now that his back is turned. His voice sounds so loving when he speaks to your child as if she’s an equal. Plopping down on your living room floor with her and opening the large box. 
He Ooo’s and Aahhh’s with her as he pulls each piece out, connecting the walls, the doors, handing her little things to help him with. And both of them are so focused on the task at hand to create a safe space for all of her abused barbie dolls that… you feel invisible.
For the first time ever in front of them both, you feel like you are nothing but a ghost. That he is the single parent. As if you’re forgotten, less loved, not wanted, not even needed. 
There’s a bubbling in your gut when you tear up, reminding yourself that what Haechan did that night was probably just, well, he’s a man. Men aim to fuck at all times usually, and you guess you should have expected it at one point from him because, again, you’re aware that he’s attracted to you. Even more aware now. 
But the way you feel right now outshines that. He’s ignoring you to keep your child happy. She is ignoring you because it seems Haechan does a better job at it than you do. 
And, well, he’s not holding you down, whispering things in your ear, letting out frustrated little sighs at your drunken or drowsy words now. So, you say nothing. All you can do is go to the kitchen and prepare a snack, trying to force the tears to stay inside of you with quiet sniffles, hoping you can join their little picture perfect moment so that you can be helpful too. 
Your heart swells when they both look at you as you present a plate of snacks. You have to hold back tears again at the way their eyes shine, thanking you for the snacks. Haechan’s eyes stay on you a bit longer though, as if saying “See? See what you’re making her go without?” 
You do see it. 
But…it can’t be him. As much as you wish it could be, you just can’t. There has to be another man out there just like him, one that doesn’t have a history with you that would cause whispers and questions. There has to be. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
That moment you witnessed seems to have solidified Haechan’s place in your home. Whether it be for babysitting or simply so your child can see him when she’s asking for him (which is often.) It’s kind of an issue, actually, because now the choice isn’t yours anymore and it appears Haechan knows that.
You hate that you’re forced to see him for what he is now. How he proves himself over and over again to be the man you need. The issue is that you still don’t want it to be him. The bigger issue is that he’s breaking down your walls, doing little things for you, looking at you with those dark eyes– your resolve cracks and reminds you every time he’s here that maybe it could work. Maybe you’ll give him a chance. Maybe you won’t have to go out anymore looking to fill a void that no one else fits into. 
It’s the way that now, you can’t help but to compare him to your ex husband. The man who you loved for so long, who you genuinely thought you’d spend your life with happily and safely. Now, compared to Haechan, your ex seems like…nothing. Like a little crack in your resolve. He was older than you by just two years, took care of you for so long, impregnated you, and slowly but surely throughout all that time grew to resent you too.
You still don’t know why, but perhaps it’s just because you were growing into your own. You were becoming more independent, though he never had the capability to realize just how much you depended on him during the very time he left you. 
“I just don’t want to do this anymore.” Your ex had said to you on that fateful morning. 
Your belly was big as you tried to waddle up to him when he said that. You can’t help but think back now and wonder how pathetic you must have seemed when he yanked his arm from your grip, especially due to the difficulty of your pregnancy already. You were sick through most of it, only having a few good days here or there where that pregnancy glow would make your ex husband second-guess himself. 
The slam of the door after that was more exhausting than the months of pregnancy you’d gone through. It felt loud, so loud you could hear it vibrate throughout your whole body. You recall falling to the floor and carefully holding your stomach. It’s like all of the heartbreak pooled there. The loss of your husband three weeks before he got to meet the child he was supposed to love. Her little heart must have been breaking inside of you too. 
Double the pain.
And then you were mending yourself on your own. Going into labor early from stress,  your family helped take care of you more than her. You were needier. You were broken. 
And never, fucking ever, did you think you’d find yourself sitting comfortable in your lavish home realizing that your ex-husband didn’t deserve all of that pain from you. He left you for that girl, and not two months later did she leave him. 
Never did you think you’d find yourself thinking about Haechan as a replacement either. Well, not a replacement, but like, maybe just…he’s the idea of a perfect dad if you pay attention to how your child talks about him. How they act together. How she cries for him before bed when he’s not there, asking you why you don’t read to her the way Haechan does. Why don't you sing to her the way he does? Why don't you use the same voices for her dolls? Why you don’t cut her food like he does, why you don’t do this or that.
That’s what makes it click the most you think. The fact that Haechan has given her something you never can. The love of a father. It doesn’t even feel like he’s babysitting at this point, he’s parenting, teaching her lessons, bandaging small boo-boos, fixing her hair,…cooking dinner, cleaning…existing here like he belongs.
Haechan has done more for your daughter than your ex husband ever could have, more than you could have done for her too, you think. 
Even now, as you come home night after night and see him, you struggle to see him as anyone that isn’t who your daughter needs. Maybe who you need. 
His summer semester is coming to an end too, and it’s hard to see him as a college student now. He really does coursework and everything that needs to be done at your home all within a single work day? With no complaints at all? Lately, you’ve noticed that he’s been more focused on studying when he babysits too, but still your daughter listens to him better than she listens to you. 
Yet, still, it’s like you’re avoiding each other as you go through the motions, but you notice him more. You feel more discomfort because of it, mostly because you know your resolve about this is breaking. There’s a fear inside of you that revolves around him.
What if you missed your chance? 
What if it does end up being a mistake if he still wants you?
You don’t know what to do, but you know you want him. 
Some nights, Haechan does sleep over due to exhaustion and you don’t even ask him to leave because you know he’s not doing it to try anything. The avoidance is loud. Lately, you come home from work and there he is, sitting up with his laptop on his lap but sound asleep, softly snoring. Each time, you remind yourself of how he’s sacrificing his study time to babysit. You know your child can be distracting and needy when she wants something too, but he doesn’t complain even a little bit. The least you could have done was bring him a blanket, which you did. And you woke the next morning to find him curled up on the same couch, laptop toppled over onto the floor.
Small, gentle acts of kindness towards each other but never face to face. You’ve woken to fresh coffee countless times, made exactly the way you like it because you know he’s watched you make it yourself. You’ve come home to re-stocked items, like milk and eggs, laundry detergent, and even toothpaste. It’s nice, and a small indication that he doesn’t resent you. Even through face-to-face avoidance on your part.
Tonight seemed different though, compared to all of the other nights when you can’t go out. You walked through the door to the smell of dinner and your child still awake, sing-songing at you the moment you walked in. 
“Dad said I can stay up late!” 
You quirk a brow, her calling him that now becoming a regular occurrence to the point it goes through one ear and out the other for you. You recall discussing her bed time though, with absolutely no exceptions.
“Did he now?” You hug her before taking off your cardigan, walking with her to the kitchen where you find Haechan, placing down a small plate on the table with cartoon characters on it, right in front of two bigger plates with bigger portions of delicious looking food placed neatly on it.
Your heart swells, but your anxiety grows twice as big alongside it. This. 
This is what you’ve wanted for so long. This is what you never thought you could find. So, why is it that you still have push-back in your mind? Despite knowing that Haechan has proven himself time and time again, you want to argue?! 
Perhaps it’s because you like the way he tries. Maybe you’re not ready to lose that feeling of being chased in some way, of being begged to let him stay. Maybe it’s because you begged your husband, desperate for him to keep you, but he left anyway. It feels like Haechan gives you power over yourself, over your love-life, over everything, really. 
And if you were to actually accept his advances, even just a dinner on your table, what if he stops? What if he gets bored once he gets what he wants? After all, he’s still young, you can’t truly imagine he wants to do this forever. 
Not with you, and not with your daughter either. 
“What’s all this? Isn’t it a bit late for her to have dinner?” You question him instantly, anxiety bubbling up out of assumption alone. 
“We had a small snack a few hours ago.” Haechan reassures you. “I finished my exams and had a burst of energy to celebrate, besides, it’s a Friday–” He goes to pull out a chair for you. “You don’t need to be up early either. A late dinner every now and then never hurt anybody.”
The way this is the first time the two of you have had a face-to-face conversation since…that night. His voice calms you, and that’s scary. 
You huff, happy because you could easily melt into this chair and pretend you’re having a family dinner, like you always wanted, like you never rejected a touch from him that you desperately wanted. You could just play along and pretend Haechan is everything you need. Except, it wouldn’t even be pretending at this point. The whole idea of him has changed. But, again, that anxiety. You still have that little voice holding you back, no matter what you want, or what you need, you fear it’ll be ripped from you again if you were to let yourself be weak for another person.
“I’m really tired, Donghyuck.” You explain, walking past the kitchen and towards your bedroom. “Thanks for dinner but I’m not too hungry and I just want to lay down.”
And with that, he watches you leave. No real appreciation, no congratulations on him finishing his exams, not even a kiss to your child’s forehead. Is he still expected to be the one to put her to sleep? 
Why is he even here? Why did he do all of this? 
His patience is running dry.
So, he eats with your child as your plate goes cold and he leaves it there. If you can’t even handle a dinner at the table with the person who cooked it, you can deal with your own fucking plate. Throw away your own fucking food, wash your own fucking dish. And if you can’t tuck your child into bed, he’ll do it, but you can shove that fake ass exhaustion right up your ass for all he cares. 
He knows you’re not exhausted. He’s seen you when you are. You’re just being an asshole to him at this point, trying to appear like you’re perfectly happy with the life you live when your drunken rants prove otherwise. You treat him like everything he does has an ulterior motive. Which, yeah, maybe it does, but he was genuinely excited to have someone celebrate the end of this semester with him. Maybe assuming you’d indulge him went too far. For the first time, he wasn’t doing it to impress you.
By the time Haechan gets your daughter to bed, all tucked in with a little tune to fall asleep to, he closes her door and just stands there in the silence on the other side of it. 
You must really enjoy being a single mother, huh? This is why too. He always questioned it. You’re so attractive, so well-adjusted. You work hard, your daughter is a sunshine in this world, and you’ve not managed to find anyone to love you yet? He thought he was lucky to be the one getting to spend time with you.��
Turns out, you refuse to let anyone in despite Haechan knowing, fucking seeing straight through you. You want something from someone. You need it, yearn for it, even. But it’s almost laughable at the way you refuse it. 
Excuses, excuses, excuses. 
It’s the fucking audacity you have taking advantage of him. You’ve practically led him on. You lend him everything he wants in life. That’s it. You lend it. From flaunting yourself before you go to bars, to exposing all the marks you allow other men to leave on you. Letting him stay in this house, father your child, cook, clean, mend, fix, heal. 
From being a faux-father to being minimized to a college student that you used to babysit. He’s offered you relief in so many ways including sexual, and all you fucking do is avoid, deny, fucking reject him. You still go out to bars, later and later you’ll come home with new swells against your skin, but always looking so empty and disappointed. Sometimes he thinks you try to make him jealous. Sometimes, he thinks you want him to try again. 
Sometimes, he thinks you get off on the fact that he keeps trying.
And he has tried. Albeit more gently lately, but he has. Small, lingering touches when he hands you your coat to help you get out the door and to work quicker. Starting your car for you before you leave. Fuck, he even opens the goddamn door for you. Anything to make you feel appreciated, respected, and fucking wanted.
The silence is loud in his ears due to the sheer irritation as he drops his head, staring at his feet and knowing it’ll only take a few strides to reach your bedroom. A room he still craves to be in.
He’s raided those drawers by now, because of course he has. Soiling your panties, your sheets, anything that still smells like you when you’re gone for the day, all so he can act normal upon seeing you when you come home. He’s laid in your bed by now too, wondering what it would feel like to have your weight beside him. He fantasized about anything and everything he possibly could in there.
And he’s always warmer. Always cums the hardest with weak, muffled moans as he stuffs your pillows into his mouth to keep quiet. All before cleaning every trace of himself there, closing the door, and wishing he was allowed to exist in there with you. 
Right now will be the first time Haechan enters your room to your knowledge, and it sucks for him because he has essentially trained himself to get hard every time he opens this fucking door. Still, he composes himself, and it’s a bit of a shock if you’re being honest.  You thought he’d go home after this, you were kind of hoping he would after you made it so awkward. 
You felt guilty the second you saw his expression fall to your rejection of eating dinner like a big fucking happy family. You want it so bad, you want him so bad.
When you left the kitchen, you immediately went to your room and hopped in the shower, well aware that he wouldn’t follow you. You thought hard while the hot water made attempts to wash away your feelings. Would it have been so bad to just eat with him? With your daughter? With both of them? The way his eyes fell, it burned your heart a little bit.
Still, no answers came to you because you know part of you just wants to see what else he will do for you. Despite the history with him, and despite knowing his entire family would question and scoff at you for it…Is it really so wrong? To want to give him a chance just to see if he’ll leave you too? 
Just to see if it’ll hurt when he does it too?
Inviting him to your home almost every day of the week isn’t wrong, right? Forgetting to pay him all those times before, hoping to see him again and get that confidence boost, that wasn’t wrong. Letting your daughter attach herself to him when you swore he wasn’t permanent, no longer having the energy to correct her use of “dad” towards him… none of that is wrong.
 It’s all Haechan. He’s the one in the wrong for willingly following along, not you. Right? 
And as you’re sitting on your bed in your towel, zoning out and staring at your floor, Haechan swings your bedroom door open without a single knock, mindfully closes it, and immediately goes off on you.
Somehow, you really expected him to accept your rejection but your heart swells that he didn’t. You don’t think he ever will, and you’re exhausting yourself hoping he’ll prove you wrong.
He’s shown you enough by now. This is what breaks down that wall inside of you, isn’t it?
“What am I doing wrong?” He shoots his first question out in a desperate whisper shout, eyes searing into you before continuing without a single breath. “Because I do everything for her, and i do everything  for you, does that really make you so fucking uncomfortable?”
“D–” You try to respond, feeling your skin prickle at the sheer irritation in his expression.
He’s fighting for you.
“Isn’t that what you want?!”
“After everything I do–” He throws his hands up now, running his fingers through his hair as if you make him feel like he wants to rip it out. “After trying to make your life easy while making mine harder, for what? You to not eat the fucking food I made? For you to go to the bar all the time just to come back disappointed like I’m not right here waiting for you to come back?” 
“What ar-”
“Don’t ask me any stupid fucking questions, Just answer me.” He drops his hands, stepping up to you, placing both hands on either side of your hips, doing his best not to react to your near-naked body. “Why?”
You lean back, trying to create more distance to try and give him an answer that you don’t even know yourself, but he just keeps closing in. Not letting you escape this time. You’ve never seen him so riled up before, it’s…
Well…
“Because I came onto you? Because I tried to do what no one else will do for you?” His voice shakes when he says it, and you can feel the heat radiating from him. Is he…about to cry?
Only now, seeing him so close with an entirely sober brain do you realize an answer. Maybe not to his question of why, but to the same question you’ve been asking yourself. It’s because of that look in his eye. You’ve never been able to put a word to it, but now with him demanding you explain yourself so closely, you see it.
He’s desperate. 
Arguably as desperate as you’ve felt to fill the void. Except, he’s trying to do that for you and you won’t let him out of what? Fucking fear? Hell, at this point the history means close to nothing when it comes to all the new memories he’s made in this home, even without you. The history of babysitting him, the history of your ex husband leaving you. It doesn’t matter.
You think hard, so hard that you feel your eyes burn as you stare up at him. Glancing without intention to his jaw when he clenches it, to his neck when he swallows his words, to his lips, his eyes, the hair falling in his face…and you just–
You reach up, running a soothing hand through his hair to get it out of his face. Then you see those same desperate eyes somehow grow more desperate as he lowers them, leaning into the touch, as if you’ve been starving him the same way you’ve been starved for years. He falls silent too, cutting himself off mid-question just to feel you touch him for the first time.
“I don’t know.” You say, which seems like a better answer than having an excuse. What can you say otherwise? That it’s because it shouldn’t  be him? That you’re afraid he’ll realize he’s not ready to settle? To be a dad? He’ll ask why, and it’ll be the same answer you gave on that drunken night. An answer that you no longer care about. 
You babysat him when he was a child, but you were still a child too. 
You were still a child, and time changes things.
Your ex husband left you, and you’re afraid he will too, especially because he’s so much younger? Who cares?
Your answer seems to fly right past his head though, because he’s still leaning to feel your fingers in his hair, and he’s looking at you as if nothing you say will matter unless you make it hold some weight to him. 
“Donghyuck–” You pause, scratching right at his nape, uncaring of how you can feel your towel loosening on your body. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Somehow, his name on your lips is what he needed to hear. The tone of it, the rasp in your voice, your fingers in his hair. Actions speak louder than anything the two of you could say right now, and he can’t help it. Nothing can stop him, not even you at this point. 
He hasn’t done anything wrong you say? It’s because he fucking knows what you need.
You inhale deeply, holding your breath when you feel your back hit your mattress, his warm hands instantly taking advantage of your freshly-showered state and tugging at the towel just slightly to let it fall open. You hear a slight breath from him at that moment, an inhale. There, he climbs onto the bed, nudging himself between your legs and trapping you there under him, both hands holding your arms down.
Like he’s afraid you’ll reject him again.
“You’re going to let me take care of you now.” He demands, though to him it sounds more like a plea solely due to the fact that he’s so fucking turned on it’s unreal. That feeling of when your fingers were in his hair? Seeing your naked body? Unshaved pussy? Being in this fucking room with you? It throws him into overdrive, especially with the way you just lay there blinking up at him in surprise. The anger melting away only amplifies it more. 
How could you do this to him? Genuinely, how could you have let him fucking suffer for you like this? 
Still, you blink up as if you’re a deer caught in headlights and it makes his heart thump against his ribcage. Your eyes are so bright, that glint of sadness he had seen so many times isn’t there right now. And there’s so much adrenaline inside of him, like he needs to move fast before you change your mind again. You’ve not let him do this for some fucking reason or another and now you’re just laying here for him.
 There, with your entire body on display, and you appear to be docile. Fucking obedient? Like he always knew you would be if you’d just drop the fucking act?! You were meant for him and him alone, and he’s going to show you why.
In all honesty, you’re tired of denying yourself by now. From the moment you saw him that day cleaning your pool for the first time, you’ve wanted him on some level. It wasn’t an emotional attachment, but a hope, a fantasy for you. And when you recognized him, you were more impressed with him than embarrassed. You tried not to let your eyes wander out of guilt, out of feeling like a pervert. 
And then, that day when he came onto you, he was just a man to you. Your faux guilt kept you from letting him, and your hope to be chased kept you from it too. As if you’ve never pleasured yourself to the thought of him, shamefully in this very bed. As if you’ve never called out his name with a silent breath. If you keep going at this point, you’ll lose him before ever knowing what he could really be for you. 
This is his last ditch effort to beat you at your own game, and you’re ready to lose.
  So, now, you let yourself get lost in him. In his eyes and the way he pleads and makes his demands. He probably doesn’t recognize his strength against you right now, or how much it’s turning you on. With the way he has both hands on your wrists, probably bruising them, and there’s nothing you could do even if you wanted to. His weight holding you down feels better than you imagined. 
After so long, with so many failed hookups where you’ve told them of your daughter and all they���ve done in return is get their orgasm then leave…Haechan. He wants to take care of you? 
He wants to…give you what you need?
Fuck, you know he can. That’s the fucked up part. He’s proved it so many times to you in so many ways. You’ve watched him, the way he moves and acts around you. He’s exactly what you need.You pushed him to this point, where his sanity is on the brink of crashing. Taking it away from him again feels wrong, because it’s exactly what you want.
And when he presses his leg between yours, he knows.
“Again?” He comments, now releasing your wrist from one hand and running it down, able to slip his fingers right into the slick of your bare pussy. “You’re wet.” 
You still just blink up at him with an intake of breath at the pleasure, thoughts running left and right on what to do, finally realizing you don’t want to do a damn thing. He’d do it all if you let him. Clean your house, be a father, fix all of the breaks, make you wet.
And you just feel him, the way his fingers play around with what he does to you. You can practically feel his confidence rise at the way you spread your legs a bit more, as if to give him more access. When you look at him, his expression remains harsh, but slowly he moves himself down, lips brushing over one of your nipples while keeping eye contact.
Still that irritated look, like he’s mad you haven’t let him do this before now.
“How many times are you going to pretend like I’m not the one who gets you wet?” He asks before rubbing circles around your clit, tongue flicking in the same way around your nipple. “Like I don’t have a right to take care of you?”
Your breath is still caught in your throat, trying to be careful about what you say right now despite knowing you can’t speak. You focus on what he’s doing instead, losing yourself to something you’ve not felt in far, far too long. 
He’s right. He’s gotten you wet more than once by now. More than he knows. 
And goddamn, he knew your tits could bounce, but the way they move without the support of a bra, the plush, soft feeling of your nipple growing erect in his mouth, all for him to bite and pull at. He does it too, listening to the little seething sound of pain from you when he pulls all the way back with your nipple between his teeth. Only to let it fall from his mouth and break eye contact with you to see the jiggle as it falls.
His cock twitches, at everything that you are right now, feeling more pleasure through seeing you like this alone compared to fucking his own fist on your bedroom floor. He notes how your legs squeeze him more at the nipple stimulation than his fingers too, memorizing the way your labia falls open between them. He smirks, flicking his tongue more, quicker. 
There. There it is.
A low rumble in your chest falls from your lips. Soft, a moan. A very small, delicate sound.
“You like this?” Haechan asks, looking up at you, letting his tongue fall from his mouth again and flicking the erect nub. “When I play with your tits?”
You nod, throwing an arm over your face in embarrassment that this is actually happening. You’re letting him. Already you feel yourself heat up more, even when he takes his fingers away from your clit and instead, uses them to flick your other nipple. 
And he does this for a few minutes. Paying special attention to your tits, going back and forth with his fingers and tongue to each bud, trying so hard to not stop just to shove his cock between them and use them the way he’s always wanted. He focuses on drawing out more and more little sounds from you instead, slurping his own saliva from your painfully erect nipples, pulling back, blowing cold air, then warming it up again with his lips. All while simultaneously groping, flicking, and pinching with his other hand. 
“Jesus, Haechan–” You moan quietly, chest rising and falling as he squeezes and licks against you. 
That’s right, say his name. Let him fucking know he’s doing what you like. Haechan thinks, feeling his cock weep in his pants as he does it. Wondering just how sensitive you are to be reacting like this to simple nipple stimulation. God, he’s wanted to suck on these for so long, and now you’re letting him. They’re so big, so plush. He wants to fucking cover them with his mouth, he wants to bury his face in them, kiss them all over them. 
And if they were to get bigger? He moans at the thought, remembering that conversation you had with your mom. You want another. He bets they’d swell up–Oh, fuck yeah. They’d probably hurt to rub against your shirt. God, fuck, he can’t control his thoughts right now.
 Finally. 
Fucking finally, he has you and he’s not going to let you run away again.
He doesn’t fucking care if it’s forward. He wants what he wants, you want what you want. That want just so happens to line up. Besides, he’s already proved himself to you, he knows it. If you’re letting him do this, maybe you’d let him stay like this. 
“Did they get bigger?” He moans briefly as he swaps to your other nipple again. “So full, so heavy, were they leaking all over you?”
You listen to him, trying not to feel the pit in your stomach bubble with even more arousal at his blatant and dirty words, feeling your clit throb at the stimulation your tits are getting right now. 
“Makes my dick fucking throb just thinking about it. Fuck–” 
“Let me give you another,” He mumbles now, almost mindlessly before looking up at you with an intense gaze as he bites down, indicating that he’s not mindless about it at all. 
“Swell you up, make you glow–”
Oh. 
Why is that– why are you dripping?
He hears that moan you let out. Different from the others, almost desperate.
“Mm, yeah.” He encourages it, now allowing his hand to travel back down to witness how much wetter you’ve gotten at those words. So messy, so perfect. “Knew you’d want it raw.”
You can’t help the nod, as it comes before you even process his words solely because you feel his fingers slip inside of you. You haven’t been this wet in so, so long. You want to feel it. To be full again, of anything. Of him.
“Ye-” You start, interrupting yourself with a bite of your lip and your eyes rolling back. 
“That’s right mama,” He coos, tilting his fingers up and amplifying the pressure inside of you. “Gonna let me take good care of this pussy, yeah?” He adds, lifting from your tits and ghosting his lips over yours. 
He watches you closely, that daze in your eye. God, you look so horny right now. There’s nothing more he wants than to see this time and time again. To let you wake up every morning with his warm cum inside of you, to see your belly swell with his child, to see your tits grow until they hurt. 
He’d take care of you. He’d take good fucking care of you. 
“Say something.” Haechan whispers against your lips, darting his tongue out against your lips, angling his fingers up and making you moan. “Say you want me to give it to you raw.”
You open your mouth, feeling his tongue lick and swallow up that moan you just gave him before you try to compose yourself. You can’t help it, you’re so, so sensitive right now and you can’t help but find it incredibly sexy to be here, laid bare, while he’s still fully clothed.
Like he really is doing this for you. He’s not trying to get his own orgasm and leave. You’re weak and those words of “let me give you another” shines in your head. Weak, you’re weak. You should be thinking about condoms, you should be thinking about the consequences of this. 
But you’re not. 
You do like it raw.
“Haechan–” You stutter as you try to grasp the reality of his words, feeling his fingers repeatedly hit right where you need it. “I’m…not protected.”
He moans. Loudly, before huffing out an irritated groan.
“You must really want it then.” He narrows his eyes at you. “Going out all the time trying to get fucked–” 
He plunges his fingers in again, deep, and holds them there as he pulls back to look at you. To really look at you, then he glares.
“You’d really let just some fucking dude give you a baby?” 
You repeatedly shake your head. 
“No!” You retort, thrusting your hips up. “I just–”
“Mhm,” He pulls his fingers out now, sliding himself down so fast that you can barely comprehend him sucking your clit into his mouth before pulling back in a moan at the taste of you. “If mama wants another, daddy will give her one.” He says now, as if to pacify you.
As if to give you everything. 
And you’d argue, really, you would.  You want another child so bad, but this is– it’s too soon. You haven’t even established a relationship with him yet. Boundaries haven’t been discussed. His college plan– but fuck it’s not entirely your fault that you’re like, super turned on by the idea of it. To the thought of being so filled with cum that there’s no possible way you couldn’t end up pregnant. An indication that, no matter what, no man at a club could fulfill the arousal for you even if they cared to do it. 
You’d never have let them actually fuck you raw. 
Haechan though…how can you keep telling him no?
How could you reject him again when you want it so badly? 
Fuck now, think later.
“Yeah–” You say against your better judgement, hands reaching down to his hair so you can grind up against his mouth, lost to the arousal as you mimic what he referred to himself as. “Daddy?”
You feel his mouth fall slack at that, as if you’re accepting him in full now. You feel your clit hit nothing in his open mouth, but it throbs harder. 
 He knew you were slightly into him for letting him do this at all, but now, you’re truly accepting it. Like you know he’ll fucking do it, like you want him to fucking do it.
“That’s right,” He moans against your clit as he licks at it, barely able to comprehend your voice calling him that but clinging to it all the same.  “Gonna let daddy do it all for you.”  
Yeah. You are. You’re gonna let him do it. All of it. 
And then, the room is enveloped in quiet moans, more from Haechan than from you due to your breath being stuck in your throat. His tongue, licking every part of your sensitive cunt, his hands reaching back up to your tits, fondling, pinching, painfully tugging at them as he moans louder, louder, louder for you to want him.
He presses his hips up and against your mattress as he tastes you, so deeply it hurts his cock to neglect it like this. Each rub feels raw, twitching and pulsing to be let out, to be inside of you, on you, against you. Filling you up with his cum, plugging it in as a promise that you can’t leave him even if you wanted to. 
He’s going to fucking do exactly what he said he would. 
And only when you feel his tongue lap against your hole do you finally release your breath, “Daddy” coming out in a choked back sob. It breaks him, his body going into overdrive as he pulls back and just– stares at you with wild eyes. 
You stare back up at him, knowing that calling him that means something more than a cringe little roleplay kink. It means something deeper to him. He wants to be a dad, a real one.
“Oh yeah?” He finally says, hands going straight to his button and zipper. 
You can’t help it, biting your lower lip as you blink up, watching his shoulders move, the veins on his arms protruding as he rushes to pull it out and– oh. You moan at it, the way his heavy, slicked up, cock falls out, dark, needy. 
“Daddy–” You urge him on, knowing that it’s driving him absolutely insane. 
“Mhm?” He shuffles himself off the bed, letting his pants drop as he lifts his shirt off of him and fucking glares at your tits. “You want daddy’s cock?”  He adds now, shooting his eyes up to you as both of his hands land on your legs.
Your mind goes blank when you feel him slide his hands around to the back of your thighs, pushing your legs forward, curling you in on yourself, forcing your pussy to be out and on display for him. 
And you watch him, the way he stares down at it. It’s embarrassing to be so seen right now, not having expected to get fucked open by anyone tonight, let alone him. You probably should have shaved or something, or like, not gotten out of the habit in the first place. But he moans at it, mouth falling open at the fact that you are entirely a fucking woman. 
A fucking mother.
The prettiest pussy he’s ever fucking seen let alone tasted.
And he moans, breaking the silence, forgetting only for a moment how long he’s been wanting this. It boosts your confidence more than you’ve ever felt. His reaction to this is more than your ex husband’s reaction to you when you were pristine and borderline pornstar quality. 
Haechan doesn’t see you as used and neglected, he just sees you. And this. This is the pussy he wants. This is what he wants to put his baby in. 
When he flicks his eyes back to you, with that same open mouthed expression, it knocks the breath out of you. There’s so much love in his eyes, or maybe lust, you don’t care. You think you’re matching that expression for him too, because it’s like he can’t hold back anymore. He can’t just sit and look at you anymore. 
He just can’t.
And you feel it, his thick head pushing past the tightened, pulsing hole and not stopping. He pushes in slowly, painfully slow, to the point you’re both looking at each other with a slack jaw. Finally. The pain of it, the pleasure, the fucking need you’ve been trying to fulfill. 
That look on your face drives him wild too, he knows he has you by now. You like it, you love the way he slides in and makes damn sure you feel it. Every second of the slide pries you open, and he wants to remember this moment forever. He wants you to fucking remember too. 
Wants you to know that no one will ever fit inside of you so perfectly, so deeply.
When he finally bottoms out, he leans forward to keep himself buried deep as he ghosts his lips over yours. He feels the way you try to kiss him, but he pulls back with a confident smirk. 
“When was the last time you’ve felt a cock so deep in you?” He whispers hotly, knowing you need not answer. Knowing you won’t answer, not with the way you’re instantly lifting your head and kissing him. 
Your pussy pulses around him when you lick into his mouth, the first real kiss sending his heart soaring. He twitches inside of you with each squeeze, and kisses you harder, deeper. And somehow, it brings tears to your eyes. 
The way he kisses, the way he makes you feel him. Fuck, the way he makes you feel whole, so wanted, like you’re amazing to him. In more ways than just a body to fuck, but he’s stuck around despite all of your avoidance and rejections. You hope you’re making it worth it. 
Fuck, you need to feel worth it to him.
“You’d better not fucking pull out.” You groan through a breath, his lips still kissing you through your words as he finally pulls his hips back, fucking in once. 
Hard.
Honestly, could you have said anything else at this moment? He’s trying to make this last, he needs it to last. If you keep fucking talking, saying everything he’s ever wanted to hear– 
“Fuck,”  He moans, his hands moving up to your cheeks as he licks into your mouth. “You can’t–”  He continues, fucking in again, moving your body up with each thrust do to the sheer force of him trying to plunge in as deep as he can. “You can’t fucking say that to me right now.”
You’re seeing stars though, unable to say anything else as your eyes roll back at the way the head of his cock practically kisses your cervix with each push into you. He’s so rough, so desperate for it. 
You don’t think he expected you to respond either, with the way he keeps his lips on yours, his body pressed so closely that having your legs to your chest means nothing to him now. Mating press be damned, he’s lost his mind to the feeling, not the aesthetic of being a fucking dad. 
Your legs wrap around him instead, and he’s all too happy to feel it. Your legs hug him the same way your arms do, the same way your pussy does, and he’s fucking in love with you. 
He braces one hand back against your leg, holding it against his hips as he continues to fuck forward, still at the same pace. Deep and with purpose. Every few seconds the bursts of pleasure run through him, making him shiver and moan into your mouth. Little grunts, near whimpers for you to let him give you the world. 
More than this. More than fucking, more than taking care of you, more than anything he could ever possibly give you. He’ll find a way. 
And then, you’re clenching hard, matching his near-whimpers except moaning in full pants, babbling and drooling cries against his mouth. 
“Mama–” Haechan soothes, continuing his pace as he tilts his head back to get a good look at that lost gaze in your eyes. “You’re crying?”
You nod with a laugh, tears rolling down the same way the wet of your cunt slips down your ass. You’ve never felt so good, so fucking full.  And for some reason, that does him in. Making it last be damned, he genuinely thinks he’s won you over. He can make it last next time, he can do more next time, he can–
He leans back all the way now, onto his knees as your legs try to hug him back to you, and his eyes go straight back to those tits. The way he made a promise. The way they bounce, slick with his sweat from pressing against you. 
“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He grunts in a breath, now quickening his pace and snapping his hips. Pulling out all the way briefly to plunge into your again. “Can’t get any deeper–” He continues, flicking his eyes from your face, to your tits, to that beautiful pussy of yours swallowing him up. 
Now his eyes roll back, hands going back to your thighs to push you back into position. No way in hell can he last, not at a pace like this, inside of a woman like you. 
“Don’t pull out.” You repeat again in a breath, seeing his face and the way he focuses solely on you. You know he’s going to cum, and you want him to. You want to feel it, every single fucking drop of it. 
“Yeah?” He nods his head with laser-focus on your pussy now, staring down as he points tight, short thrusts inside of you. “Momma wants my cum? Hm?”
Oh, he’s fucking gone.
“She likes it?” He continues to talk himself up. “Likes being so fucking full of it? Yeah?” 
Goddamn, fuck, he’s insane. 
“Yes, daddy–” You whisper-shout, fingers shooting to your clit, other hand raising to your mouth to silence the moans as to not be too loud. 
“Fuck, yeah you do.”  He lets out a near growl, his voice low and rumbled as he slaps your hand away, pressing hard on your clit with his thumb as he buries himself in you once more and stiffening his abs. “That’s right.”
And instantly upon feeling him pulse, that first spurt of cum painting your insides, you lose yourself with him. Your fingers drop from your mouth and you release a pornographic moan for him, rutting yourself against him, as if to fuck it deeper into you. 
It only prolongs the orgasm though, for both of you. 
Haechan is silent, trying to keep his eyes open through the pleasure as you pulse and squirt around him, his thumb pressing so hard  into your clit, his cock cumming so deep, filling you up so well– He wants to see it. Wants to watch you fall apart for him. Wants to witness the way you let him do this. 
And he holds himself there, so hard and so full of pleasure for you. Keeping himself practically impaled against your cervix until your body falls slack. Still, he fucks it into you, holding you in place with a softer moan now. No longer guttural or deep from his chest. His breathing is rough, a soft, near feminine moan leaves his lips as he falls forward onto you. 
You wince along with him at the sensitivity, panting, a sweating tangle of a mess the two of you have become. And it’s the fact that it’s the first time you’ve ever gotten off at the same time as someone else. You feel…soft. 
Your hands find their way to his hair as his face squished against your tits while he regains breath, not daring to move his hips because your pussy is too warm to leave right now. You brush the sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes, running your fingers all the way back to his nap, and then slowly down his back to rub and scratch.
He shivers at the feeling, humming the same feminine-tone he had released previously. And all he can do is hear your heart thumping against your chest, even through these soft tits of a pillow he’s lying against.
Haechan never wants to move again, not from this spot, ever. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“You know I’m in love with you, right?” Haechan mentions briefly after a long moment of silence, looking up at you with his wet hair. 
Deep in the night, your food still cold and on the table, you’ve found yourself freshly showered and on your living room couch with Haechan’s head on your lap. He made sure to have stayed long enough inside of you to implant…something if it was going to happen. So he didn’t argue a shower, and you didn’t argue letting him join you either. 
He had washed you, gently running his hands between your legs with what you can only describe as the softest, most alluring face a man has ever given you. Like he won the lottery, or found the answer to eternal life or something. You repaid him by letting him admire your tits again while you jerked him off, but that’s besides the point. 
“Like, I’m not going to leave. I hope you know that.” He adds with a soft groan to your hands still in his hair. His new favorite thing. 
You look down at him, hand moving to his cheek as the words hit you in the chest.
There’s anxiety along with happiness, at all of the boundaries and serious conversations that will need to be had now, but still, you feel like you’re glowing when he looks at you.
He didn’t even have to say it, and arguably you probably don’t need to say it back either. You think he sees it in you. Even if he didn’t, you think he’d take anything you give to him and cling to it. After all, it only took one time for you to break entirely for him. 
“Are you now?” You smile with a chuckle, looking back to the tv and pretending to watch it. “Well, that’s good. Otherwise I’d be making you go get a plan B or something.” 
His eyes narrow at you.
“Like hell I’d let you, even if I didn’t love you.” He groans. “But I do, so don’t ever say that shit again.”
You chuckle, feeling the calm in your home that once felt so chaotic. It’s quiet now, both inside and outside of your head. 
“Congratulations, by the way.”
He looks at you with question, quirking a brow.
“For finishing your finals, I mean.” You smile, going back to petting through his hair and feeling like you’re on top of the world, despite what you assume to become half of your world lying his head on top of you. 
“Oh, right.” He smiles, now turning his head to watch the tv. “I probably failed them.”
You don’t believe that, but even if he did, you think you could be what he needs too. He wouldn’t have to work if he didn’t want to.
If he’s really in love with you, all he’d have to do is…not leave. 
“Are you sure you want to be having these conversations with me? You can just call it a hook-up.” You finally say, hoping he means it, knowing it breaks your heart a bit to give him an out. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m going to trap you here just because I’m a little smitten too.” 
Haechan glares, blinking up at you.
“I literally just tried to put a baby in you.” 
That’s fair. 
“And you’re not going to run off? Get cold feet?” 
“Can you stop doubting me and just let me do what I want for once?” He argues playfully. “Do you even know how much that barbie fucking dream house costed me? I couldn’t run even if, for some stupid ass reason, wanted to. I love her too.”
Silence for a moment.
“Maybe even more than I love you.” 
You really, really, want to believe him.
So, you do. 
2K notes · View notes
d3arapril · 2 months ago
Text
PUSH 2 START | p.b
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pushin' on my buttons with no hesitation, gas me up give me motivation
pairing: paige bueckers x f!reader word count: 5.4k words of pure filth sorry not sorry warnings/tags: sexual content. VACATION PAIGE!!!, they get drunk and nasty FRRR, dom!paige, oral, fingering, strap usage (yes i finally wrote it), squirting, doggy, spanking, overstim - bro i could literally go on and on, just read it lol. (reminder - don't like it? don't read it)‼️ ᡣ𐭩 this idea quite literally came to me in a dream. this wasn't supposed to be full on smut but obviously i got carried away & ended up writing quite possibly the dirtiest thing i've ever written.... i listened to tyla's album on repeat whilst writing hence the random title. enjoy :D as always feedback & reblogs are appreciated x
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“Think I have heatstroke.”
You roll your eyes from where you’re sat on the balcony, distracted from the half eaten packet of lays sat in your lap. You shift in your seat to crane your neck around to look at Paige through the glass doors, sun beaming down onto your skin.
“We were outside for like, half an hour.”
The Greek sun was no joke. You'd both decided to treat yourselves to a last minute vacation, frantically booking one of the nicest apartments you could both find a week prior to departure. Seven days on a Greek island was your idea of heaven and Paige had willingly agreed, claiming she needed some sun.
However, what she wasn't prepared for was the sun being the hottest thing she'd ever felt in her 23 years of being alive– her words.
The blonde groans from where she’s splayed out on the bed. The crisp, white sheets are a nice contrast against her newly tanned skin, body wrapped in a white fluffy towel.
You stand up from the chair, grimacing at the sting of your legs unsticking from the plastic. The packet of lays gets abandoned on the small table before you and your toes burn against the hot tile as you hop back into the bedroom, pulling the door shut behind you.
Paige doesn't flinch when she hears you come in, cheek smooshed against the sheets. She hums in the back of her throat when you scratch at her scalp as you pass her, her hair still slightly damp from the shower.
"You gonna make it to dinner, champ?"
A breath of a laugh leaves Paige as she pushes herself up with another groan, towel loosely tucked around her body. You're busy sorting through the selection of dresses you'd packed when you feel her wrap her arms around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder.
Her head juts towards the white dress hanging up in the closet. "Wear that one."
It's a fairly simple dress- plain white with a racer style neckline and ruffled skirt. You take it off the rail and hold it up in front of you, head tilting as you study it. "Really? It's kind of boring."
"Nah," Paige's hands rub up and down your sides, nose nudging against your cheek. "S'my favourite." She punctuates her sentence with a kiss to your jaw. It's seemingly innocent, but you know the girl well enough by now.
You slip out of her grip, dress in hand, before she can try anything, grabbing a pair of white strappy heels as you go.
"I'm gonna get ready in the bathroom," you're heading towards said room before she can stop you. "Reservation is at 8!"
You're sat on the couch, impatiently tapping a heel against the flooring. You tap against your phone screen to check the time for what felt like the hundredth time– you only had five minutes to get to the restaurant. Somehow, Paige always managed to take so long to get ready. You'd tried to get into the bedroom to see what was taking her so long but the door was locked so you were forced to sit and wait for her like her chauffeur.
You're scrolling through TikTok when you hear the lock click on the door. You huff, grabbing your bag from beside you. Standing up, you run a hand down your dress to flatten out any creases and when you look up Paige is stood in the doorway.
She's got her hair slicked back in her classic bun and she's wearing a white shirt with a simple black crop top underneath. The shorts she's wearing are black, too and she's wearing the Nike's you bought for her. She stands in silence, hands tucked into her pockets as she watches you take her all in.
You slink towards her, heels clicking against the tiles. You're aware you're probably staring at her like she's a piece of meat but you can't find it in you to car when she looks this good, plus it's not like she would complain.
"You're late," you hum, pulling her in by the belt loops. "What took you so long?"
She shrugs, opting to not respond. Instead, her hands reach out to rub down your back. "You look..." She pauses, leaning back. Her eyes start from your heels, trailing up your legs. Her gaze pauses on your chest for a second before meeting your eyes. "Really fucking good."
The pink of her tongue darts out to wet her lips as she takes your hand and holds it above your head. "Twirl for me."
You do as she says, giddily spinning in a circle for her. Her teeth pull at her bottom lip as she watches you, the vanilla from your perfume hitting her like some sort of pheromone. You drive her insane.
"You like?"
"You know I like. We're matching."
Before you can respond, the sudden dread of missing your reservation hits you and you're kicked into gear, eyes widening as you cast a glance at your phone in your hand.
"Fuck, we're late!"
You pull Paige by the wrist as you frantically leave the apartment, locking the door behind you and walking as fast as you could in your heels to the restaurant.
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Alcohol in Europe is different to the alcohol in America– it's somehow much, much stronger.
You'd had an amazing dinner, followed by some amazing cocktails. What was supposed to only be one or two turned into arguably too many and before you knew it you were both stumbling back to the apartment.
The front door is opened and shut again faster than you can blink and you're pressed against it before your brain can catch up with you. Your head spins a little when you tilt it up to give Paige access to your neck, dazed smile spreading across your lips.
"Mmmm," Paige all but moans against your skin, licking a stripe up your neck. "Tastes good."
"Might be the alcohol." the words leave you lazily, slurred. Paige pulls back to look at you, eyes glazed over.
"Nah, s'all you."
You pull her in with a hand gripping the back of her neck, lips slotting against hers. It's hot, messy- her tongue slides against yours and you taste the alcohol on her breath. Ordinarily, you'd make a joke about her needing to brush her teeth but you're fully aware you're just as bad so you remain silent, just kiss her deeper and softly moan into her mouth.
When you part from each other you're both panting, string of spit separating the two of you. You lick your lips and it breaks, clinging to your bottom lip. Paige's thumb reaches up to wipe it away, pad of her thumb pressing against you. She just stares at you as she swipes the digit across slowly, smudging the remainder of your lip liner down your chin.
"So fucking fine," she murmurs, eyes trained on your lips. Your tongue darts out to lick at her thumb, smirk forming when she lets out a shaky breath. "You tryna kill me?"
"Maybe." you smirk at her, pushing at her shoulders until she stumbles back. You glide past her and head to the lounge, the blonde hot on your heels.
She catches you by the couch, arms caging you in from behind. You let her, of course. The cat and mouse game is usually fun but when you're this desperate, there are plenty other things you'd rather be doing.
"So many rooms to choose from," Paige whispers against the shell of your ear, "So many places to fuck you in."
Your knees almost give out and you're sure they would've if it wasn't for Paige holding you up, her chest pressed tight to your back.
"Could fuck you here," a flick of her head gestures to the couch.
Her hands find your chest, squeezing at your tits through the fabric of your dress. "Or on the counter, on the balcony."
You're abnormally quiet, nodding at whatever she says. She snickers, hands trailing down further until they reach the hem of your dress. Paige knows that when you're speechless, she's doing something right.
"You want that?"
"Yes."
"Which?"
"All of them."
She spins you around and you have to grab onto her to steady yourself. Her cheeks are all flushed and she's clearly just as drunk as you.
"Gonna let me?"
You feel like you're going to cry from how badly you want it.
You nod eagerly, gripping the fabric of her shirt. You want to rip it off of her, lick all over her tan lines and have your way with her but you let her have this one; you can tell she's in the mood to take control and you'd never be one to deny her of that.
She wrestles herself from your tight grip and flops down on the couch, legs spread and arms wide across the back cushions. You're still stood in your spot, hands now awkwardly by your sides as you wait for her to tell you what to do.
"Take it off."
You lean down to slip off your heels but she stops you with a cough.
"Keep 'em on, I meant your dress."
"But-"
"Off, c'mon."
You stand up straight again, gripping the hem of your dress and pulling it up and off your body. It's a bit of a struggle and you stumble around slightly but it eventually slides off of your head. It drops beside you and you're left in a simple matching white set.
Despite the alcohol coursing through your body, you still manage to feel shy under Paige's heavy gaze. She's still sat in the same position, eyes raking over your body.
"C'mere."
You toe towards her with careful steps, nothing but the sound of your heels clicking against the tile and both of your heavy breaths echoing throughout the room. You're standing between her legs, much like you were earlier, and she still doesn't move from her spot, fingers gripping at the cushions of the couch.
Paige’s gaze remains locked on yours, her lips curling into a smirk as she leans back further into the couch, making no move to close the distance between you. Her liquid confidence oozes with the weight of her stare and the longer she waits the more your heartbeat thuds in your ears.
“Closer." she murmurs, her voice low.
You inch forward until your shins hit the leather of the couch. You try to stop your hands from shaking, try to act like this is any other time you've been in this situation but there's something about having the entire space to yourself that makes this feel so different, so intense.
"Do you plan to do this all night, or?" your voice comes out quieter than you'd intended.
She lets out a laugh, arms reaching forward to pull you in by your hips. You fall into her lap, bracing yourself against her shoulders to soften the impact.
"I just like lookin' at you," Paige licks her lips, glossy eyes looking up at you. "So sexy, you know that?" Her left hand smooths up your torso, grips at the fat of your chest and squeezes.
You whimper pathetically at the contact, your hands moving from their spot on her shoulders to her hair. You mess with the hair ties and pull the bun free, fingers brushing through the blonde strands. Paige hisses when your nails scratch against her scalp, hips pushing upwards against your own.
Her right hand slides around your back and she pulls you down until your chests are pressed together. You kiss her, open mouthed and messy as your tongue laps at hers, grinding down against her. The rough metal of her zipper presses against you through the thin material of your underwear and you whimper against her mouth, eyebrows drawing together at the feeling.
Paige's left hand finds home on your ass, squeezing and guiding you to rock against her. You whimper into the kiss as she uses her hold on you to grind you down onto her harder, tongue pushing further into your mouth. You can feel the heat radiating off of her, can smell the scent of the shampoo she used in the shower this afternoon and taste the alcohol on her tongue. You're practically drunk on her let alone the alcohol, and she's definitely drunk on you, too.
You're so caught up in the moment you're not prepared for Paige to flip you around. You let out a small ah! as she does so, head spinning from the sudden movement. Your back is now against the cushions, leather sticking to your sweaty skin. The blonde slips down onto the tiles in front of you, now kneeling between your legs.
"Hold 'em." Paige's hands are at the backs of your knees, pushing them up until they're almost at your chest. The heels of your shoes knock together and it's a reminder that you're actually still wearing them. You do as she says, clammy hands gripped tight over hers. You watch with bated breath as she slips her hands from your grip, thumb coming to press against your clit through your panties. It's a soft touch but it's enough to make you gush again; what was once a thick white material now a glossy, sheer mess.
"Fuck," Paige breathes. She moves her thumb in small, gentle circles around the clothed area. Your head falls back against the cushion of the couch, mouth open in a silent moan. "This all for me?"
"Always," you murmur, licking your lips as you move your heavy head, eyes meeting hers. "It's yours."
"Yeah it is," Paige nods, her voice coming out strained. She moves to slide her hands up the backs of your thighs and hooks both thumbs into your panties, pulling them up and off your legs until they're hanging around your ankle, exposing your pussy. "So good." she purrs, leaning forward to press open mouthed kisses against you. You suck in a breath when her tongue laps up your slit, nails digging into the skin of your thighs.
She moves slowly at first, and for a moment you wonder if it's because of her own drunkenness, but the longer she goes on the more you're reminded of just how good she is at this. You feel like you're going to explode at the slightest touch, every stroke of her tongue against your clit sending shocks of pleasure through your entire body.
"Paige," you moan repeatedly, her name coming out like a prayer. She hums against you, hands pressing against the backs of your thighs to keep you spread open for her.
You gasp at the feeling of her warm, wet muscle pushing past your folds to languidly dip against your entrance. "Oh fuck, fuck- babe."
She's sloppy with it, a mixture of your juices and her spit dripping down between your ass and onto the couch. You'll scold her for doing this here tomorrow but right now it's your last concern.
Your toes curl when she shakes her head against you, tongue flicking against your clit. "Gonna make me cum," the words leave you as a sob, mouth hanging open. You feel the wetness between your thighs increase even more when you hear her moan, the vibrations shooting pleasure straight up your spine. "Feels so good."
Paige's fingers dig harder into the skin of your thighs as she continues to lap at you. She pushes her tongue into you again and then moves upwards, pressing sloppy kisses against your swollen clit.
"Yeah, right there, please-" you choke on your own words, the feeling of her nose brushing against your sensitive skin making you jolt. You can't stop the loud cry that leaves you as she sucks your clit back into her mouth, tongue massaging against it.
The room is spinning and your legs start to cramp from how hard your muscles are tensed, nails almost piercing into your skin when the chord in your stomach suddenly snaps. You're practically crying, eyes rolled back in your head when it hits you. Paige helps you ride it out, keeping you pressed to the couch whilst she drinks up your slick. You're trembling, stomach rippling from the intensity.
You expect Paige to pull away, lean up and give you a messy kiss like she normally would but instead she slides two fingers up and down your pussy, gathering your wetness on the tips before she's pushing them into you.
"Wait," you whimper, feet kicking in the air. "Babe, wait, I just- I'm-"
"You're good," she murmurs, lips brushing against the inside of your thigh as her fingers slowly pump in and out of you. "I got you, just relax."
You mewl, letting her have her way with you. She starts off slow, fingers curling up deep. The sound is obscene, with every flick of her fingers the wet sound fills the air but you feel no shame, if anything it just turns you on more.
Paige definitely feels you flood her fingers because she picks up the pace, thrusting her fingers deeper into you, curling them with each stroke. Your entire body is coated in sweat, droplets beading against your skin. Her other hand moves from its place on your thigh to spread you wider, opening you up to her even more.
It's all too much; the heat, the way you're spread open for her, the pressure building deep in your stomach. She adds a third finger and the stretch makes you sob, legs starting to shake in your grip.
"I can't," the words spill from you, incoherently. "Please, please I can't."
"Shhh," Paige coos, leaning down to kiss the back of your thigh. "You can, gonna make you cum again."
She curls her fingers and the tip of her middle finger brushes against that spot, her palm pressing down against your clit. The feeling is so intense and you can't do anything but whine, thighs shaking around her.
"So good to me," Paige breathes out, heart hammering in her chest. She watches the way your pussy clings to her fingers, the digits now glistening as she pulls them out of you before thrusting back in. "She loves me, hm?"
You nod feebly, tears slipping down your cheeks, head lolling against the cushions of the couch.
Paige is relentless, fucking her fingers into you with such force you can feel the pressure in your ass. Your legs are starting to burn and so are your hips and it feels like a balloon is being blown up in your stomach, pressure becoming harder to ignore with every pump of her fingers.
"M'gonna cum, fuck, Paige-"
You cum for the second time with a broken sob and you hear it before you feel it, the distant sound of a splash against the tiles below you followed by Paige's load groan. It hits you hard, legs quivering as you squirt around her fingers, the wetness coating the floor. She slips her fingers out quick enough for another gush to leave you, trickling down your ass and onto the leather.
She moans, watching it play out in front of her. It's the hottest thing she's ever seen, her fingers now rubbing against your clit in quick motions.
"Again, again."
"Fuck, I can't-"
"Again." she demands but the word leaves her like she's begging, voice a pitch higher.
It's embarrassing how fast the heat builds in your stomach again, and before you can stop it you're squirting all over again, pussy clenching against nothing as you cry out.
Paige leans down, tongue slipping between your folds to drink you up. You're sobbing, trying to get away from her but you can barely move.
"You're okay," Paige mumbles, soothing her hand down your quivering leg. "I got you, s'okay."
A moment passes, Paige's head resting against the back of your thigh as she strokes her soaked hand against the other. You drop your legs ungracefully, stretching your limbs and groaning when your hips and knees crack after being bent for so long.
"That sobered me up." you whisper, heavy eyelids threatening to close. "Did they put viagra in your drink?"
Paige stifles a laugh, her own knees cracking when she stands up. She holds out a hand you to help you up and you take it with a shaky one of your own. You grimace at the feeling of the wet leather sticking to your bare skin, standing up.
"You ruined the couch."
"Says the one who squirted like a fucking firehose." Paige's hand comes up to push the hair from her face, a bead of sweat dripping down her temple. "S'not my fault I do that to you."
You groan, pushing at her shoulder. "Shut up."
Paige laughs and drops her hands to your hips, walking you backwards towards the bedroom. You stumble a little, bambi-like legs struggling in your heels.
"Get on the bed."
You're pushed backwards onto the bed, bouncing slightly when you hit the sheets. Your chest is heaving, heart still thumping wildly in your chest. Paige is climbing over you, caging you in with her arms and legs. Her lips ghost the shell of your ear,
"Still gotta fuck you in here."
She ducks down and connects your lips, teeth knocking against yours as she does so. Her hips grind down against yours and your hands snake under the fabric of her shirt, pushing it off her shoulders. Paige pulls back to shrug it off of her and throw it blindly behind her, reaching back to pull her crop top off in one fluid movement. She's braless, tan lines from her bikini top prominent against her now tanned skin. The sight alone makes you moan.
You both shimmy up the bed, lips still connected, and when the back of your head hits the pillow Paige's lips are on your neck. You sigh, hand smoothing down her back. Her skin is damp and so is yours, the smell of sex filling the air.
"Please, babe," you whimper, fingers pulling at the waistband of her shorts. Paige hums, sitting up to push them down her legs and kick them off.
"Hmm," she murmurs, fingers sliding over your cheek, thumb resting against your bottom lip. You part your lips, tongue swiping out to lick the pad of her thumb. "You gonna do something for me?"
"Anything."
Wordlessly, Paige pulls off her boxers with practiced ease and begins crawling over you. Her hand rests against the headboard as she steadies herself, the other reaching down to cup her pussy. You lick your lips, eyes flickering between hers and her cunt.
"Please," the word is soft, leaving you breathlessly. "I wanna taste you, please."
"Yeah?" she tilts her head, the pad of her index finger sliding up and down her slit. You watch her gather her wetness and then bring it up to her clit, circling the bud. "Wanna make me cum?"
"Please, please." you grip at her thighs, nails digging into her skin. Paige moans at the feeling, her own hand now moving faster against herself. "Wanna make you feel good."
Paige's hand leaves her pussy and she hovers above you, holding onto the headboard. You lift your head and stick your tongue out, eager for her to sit on you. You whine when she hovers her pussy just above your mouth, tongue swiping out to lick against her folds.
"Fuck, yeah," Paige moans, head dropping forward. Her left hand grips the headboard whilst her right holds onto her pussy, spreading herself open for you. "Yeah, good girl."
The praise goes straight to your core and you moan, tongue darting out again. She's finally sat on your face and your head falls back against the pillow, licking at her cunt like a woman starved.
She starts grinding against your tongue, the slick sounds filling the air. You're making a mess of yourself, saliva dribbling down your chin as you lap at her, tongue dipping inside her.
"S'good," Paige pants, grip against the headboard tightening. "Yeah, like that-oh fuck."
Your tongue flicks against her clit, your thighs squeezing together as a you feel your pussy gush just from making her feel good. She's so warm and wet and tastes so good and you can't get enough, tongue lapping at her clit in quick, harsh motions.
"Keep- fuck- keep doing that," her head drops forward and her hips cant, her movements becoming sloppy as she chases her high. "Right there, yes-"
Her legs start shaking, the muscles quivering under your touch and her hand reaches down, smoothing against your hair. Her hips move erratically, chasing her orgasm.
"Oh fuck, m'gonna cum." she pants, a bead of sweat rolling down the valley of her breasts. "Keep- yeah, yeah-"
Paige cries out with a broken moan, her orgasm washing over her. She's shaking all over, groaning as you keep lapping at her clit. You drink her up, moaning against her pussy.
"Please," she begs, her voice high pitched. "Fuck, I can't."
She's cut off by her own sob, eyes rolling back in her head. The room is filled with her moans, the sound bouncing off the walls and mixing with the obscene sounds coming from where your mouth is.
Paige is squirming on top of you, the sensation of overstimulation sending waves of pleasure through her body. Two can play at that game, you think.
"So good to me," Paige manages to choke out between moans, teeth gritted. "My fucking girl, s'so good."
You're drunk off of her, her words of encouragement only spurring you on. You roll your tongue against her clit, nails pressing down harder into her skin. Paige fights against your grip, hips lifting up as she pants heavily, forehead pressed against the wall.
She shakily moves her hips backwards and away from your mouth, now sitting across your hips. You're breathing just as heavily, the room spinning around you. Your chest is heaving and your eyes are half lidded as you stare up at her, lips red and puffy.
"You're so hot," you mumble, eyes drifting across her chest. The words leaving you before you can even process them.
Paige snickers, running a hand through her hair. "I know."
"So fucking annoying."
"You love it."
And well, she's not wrong. You reach up, cupping her tits and giving them a firm squeeze. Her hands reach up to cover yours, leaning into your grip.
"You want it?"
It takes a moment for your brain to catch up and figure out what she's referring to but when she gestures down to her crotch with a nod of her head, the cogs turn into place.
Paige spots the excitement in your eyes because she sniggers, tongue kissing her teeth. "'Course you do."
She clambers off of you, slight wobble in her legs as she does so. The moonlight dances through the room and you can see the sweat beading against her back, muscles rippling when she digs through her suitcase.
When she turns back she's got the harness briefs dangling from her fingers, skin coloured dildo fisted in the other hand. She wiggles her eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes back at her, urging her to get on with it.
She stands at the end of the bed, slipping the boxers over her feet and up her legs. She fits the dildo into place, bottom lip pulled between her teeth in concentration when she fumbles slightly.
You watch her with bated breath, squeezing at your covered tits mindlessly.
"Keep that on," Paige mumbles, nodding towards your bra. She crawls onto the bed, stopping at your feet. "Turn over for me."
You flip over with a groan, using what little strength you had left to keep your chest flat to the mattress, ass high in the air. Just how you know she liked it.
She affirms your thoughts with a soft moan at the sight of you, moving further up the bed. You feel the plastic brush up against you and it makes your thighs twitch, ass jutting up higher for her touch.
Her hands smooth against your ass, squeezing at the fat of it when you back up against her again. "Someone's impatient."
"C'mon." you urge, shaking your ass just enough to get her to fold. It works, of course, because she moans again- deeper this time. She grips the base of the dildo and slides it between your folds, blunt head nudging your clit. You're still soaking wet, the plastic glistening before she's even put it in you.
"Damn," the word leaves Paige automatically, pupils blown out as she admires your mess. "Ask me nicely and I'll put it in."
You groan against the sheets, fits gripping the cotton tightly. "Please, Paigey."
The nickname gets you a harsh slap to the ass, the impact stinging your skin. You suck in a breath through your teeth but the smirk grows across your lips despite it all.
"Fuck me Paigey, please."
"Shut the fuck up."
She slides in with one smooth motion, intrusion bringing your brows up to your hairline. It stings slightly but the familiar is welcomed, comforting almost.
"Gonna fuck you now," Paige's hands smooth down your back, coming to rest at the base of your spine. "Gonna make you fucking cry."
You strain your neck against the bed to get a peek at her and you're not sure you've ever seen her this wound up before- her eyes are wide, a red flush travelling across her chest and up to her cheeks. She's fucked.
Her hips draw back and then slam back into you, the sound of skin on skin deafening you. She's unforgiving, nails digging into your skin as she uses your hips as leverage to fuck into you. She's grunting with each thrust, bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
"Yeah, yeah-" you whine, eyes screwed shut as the blonde ruins you. You can just about hear how wet you are over the sound of her skin smacking against yours, the recognisable squelch of your pussy getting louder when she grants you with another slap to the ass. "You fuck me so go-ood."
"Yeah?" Paige breathes out, slapping your ass again. Her hand tingles from the force but she ignores it, slapping your other ass cheek with the same hand. "Whose pussy is this? Hm?"
You can barely respond, body jostling against the sheets.
"Is it mine, baby?"
You nod against the sheets, helpless.
Another slap.
"Tell me."
"It's yours!" you cry out, fingers practically ripping holes into the sheets. "Yoursyoursyours-"
"Fuck yeah it is."
She pistons in and out of you at an ungodly speed and it makes you dizzy- so dizzy you don't even feel your orgasm approaching until you're on the edge, threatening to tip over.
"Cumming!" is all you can let out, the word caught in your chest as your spine curls inwards, heels kicking up against your girlfriend. It hits you like a truck, legs spasming and arms stretching out against the sheets as you cream against Paige. You see spots in your vision, eyes crossing as the pleasure consumes you. You feel everything, and then all of a sudden- nothing.
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"You good princess?"
You crack an eye open to see Paige laying beside you, propped up on an elbow. She's gently stroking your cheek with her thumb, hair now pulled up into a messy bun atop of her head.
"Did I die?"
She snickers, leaning across to press a kiss to your forehead. "I killed that pussy, maybe."
You release the sheets that's still gripped in your hand to shove the blonde back but she just sticks her tongue out at you, reaching behind her for a glass of water left on the bedside drawer.
"Drink some, you need it."
She holds it to your mouth and you chug it down, dry throat welcoming the fluid. "I seriously passed out?"
"Eh," Paige shrugs, rubbing down your back. "You were conscious, just about."
"Wow," you roll onto your front, ache between your thighs making itself evident. "You did a number on me."
"Same again tomorrow?"
Your palm smooshes against her face, pushing her away with a laugh.
"Your turn tomorrow, Bueckers."
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tojisun · 7 months ago
Text
sugar, spice, everything on ice (hockey au)
hockey player simon riley x f!reader’s relationship, through the eyes of the fans // sort of smau
i was listening to 5sos’ slsp while writing this so!!! sorry i went bonkers 😔 i just love this au sm
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simon riley is obsessed with his girl, and it is maddeningly endearing.
of course he’s in love with you, everyone could see even from a continent away, but there is something clingy, possessive, in the way simon hovers around you. like you’d disappear right before his eyes if he wasn’t pressed close; if his tattooed arm wasn’t looped around your waist or his thick fingers were not twined with yours.
it is new, unheard of, even riley’s loyal fans says so, but it’s just so—
nice.
(the word is inadequate, they know, but there’s nothing close that could describe how heart-fluttering his devotion to you is.)
riley has always been a private person, sharing only sparse details of his life. one can even easily locate his earliest instagram post because there’s just about twenty uploads in his account since its creation—from 2017, and it’s a broken hockey stick. even that throw-away picture continues to amass likes as new fans come scouring whatever of him they can find.
his latest post was during last season’s finals’ celebrations—a series of pictures of the boys carrying the stanley cup. the first few pictures were all professionally taken, but the rest splinters into blurred shots of mactavish and garrick, particularly, drinking from the cup from inside of the locker room.
it said: thank you all.
curt, direct, but not any less meaningful.
cut to this year, mid-regular season (january), and after five months of drought, the simon riley posted a picture. and it wasn’t just any picture, but it was a hard launch of his new partner.
it was a selfie, taken by you, the camera angled just slightly. your back was pressed to his chest, and his chin was hooked to your shoulder, and, cheek-to-cheek, the two of you grin up at the camera. the background was distinctly new york, central park, so it must have been taken after the specgru’s game against the rangers (0-4 for the specgru).
for the caption, he wrote: she’s never been here before.
in an instant, all of the speculations were confirmed—the most eligible bachelor of the franchise is, finally, in an official relationship.
news articles popped up after that, speculations bloating at the shocking news. some people have even said that they’re sure they’ve seen you prior to the announcement—weren’t you that one fan simon riley was flirting with while he was on ice, mid-game?
(you were.
you were even one of the people that was tagged in johnny’s story before it got preemptively taken down; and the same person seen with the other WAGs, sprinkles of your silhouette seen on pictures like the ones that are taken on the days when the franchise flies them for game nights or the countless ones during the unveiling of the season’s WAGs jackets.
you have been a part of their circle even before the world knew who you were and, somehow, that was comforting; how simon riley had not thrown you to the wolves—or vultures, as mactavish snarled when they’ve hounded him about his fiancee’s abrupt end of her season in the FIVB, like her health wasn’t the priority over her career—and instead made sure you were surrounded by people who knew how to survive amidst the scrutiny.)
and, just like that, the dam called simon-riley’s-secret-album-of-you broke.
what had been a sporadic activity in his account exploded into series of posts, one update every week. it was a whirlwind of excitement because no one from the hockey world has ever seen this much of simon riley’s life.
he was always unapproachable, distant, like there’s always a wall between him and the rest of the world. like in exchange of being called the living legend, the guiding star, simon riley gets to shirk away from the public whenever he chooses. and who can fault him for that? riley’s career has always been heavily documented—people knew him even before he was drafted into the league, they had betted on his rookie year, and then had put him in a lonely pedestal. so of course he is fiercely protective of his privacy.
only a select few get to truly know him, only a select few have stories of simon that isn’t about the ice or hockey or his in-the-works legacy. only a select few see him beyond his crown, and now he’s giving a piece of his true self to the world because of you.
because you are worth showing off.
because life with you is worth celebrating.
.
riley41
[it’s a candid image of you standing on the balcony, wearing a too-big of a shirt that is getting ruffled by the wind and pyjama pants, and leaning over the railing as you stare at the scenery. you’re all silhouette because your body is devoured by the orange rays of the sunrise, its tendrils spilling into the wooden floors of the hotel room.]
liked by jmactavish.91, reyenzo14, and others
riley41 ibiza
.
riley41
[it’s a series. the first image is of the two of you on his motorcycle, the picture taken from simon’s bike’s camera. you’re both wearing tinted helmets and leather gears, the background a blur of colours which indicates that this was taken mid-ride. you’re gripping him tightly and your body is almost fully-covered by his bulk, leaving only the top half of your helmet to be seen peering from his shoulders.
the second image is of the beach. it’s dusk, and the sky is an explosion of pinks and purples and blues.
the third image is a selfie with your visors up. you’re looking at the camera with a shy smile, your eyes squinted because of how bright it still is, while simon only has his eyes on you.]
liked by pricejhn2, alexkeller_, and others
riley41 vroom
.
riley41
[it’s a mirror selfie of the two of you, with simon taking the photo. the background is notably his house. your back is facing the mirror, your head tilted to rest on his shoulder, while his arm is curled around your waist. you’re wearing this season’s WAG jacket—it’s black and green, their colours. the pose now makes sense because you’re showing off the back of the jacket that spells out RILEY 41 in white. simon’s wearing their away-jersey.]
liked by kylegarrick, konig_76, and others
riley41 game six let’s go
.
riley41
[it’s a video; the angle shows that it is taken by someone else. you and simon are hugging, and are swaying lightly as the two of you dance to the faint sound of music booming from somewhere behind the camera. simon’s mouthing the lyrics to your ear, his cheeks flushed like he’s buzzed from drinking, while you giggle and softly rub your palm at his back.]
liked by jmactavish.91, kylegarrick, and others
riley41 my favourite person
.
.
yourname
[it’s a candid picture you’ve taken of simon sleeping while he uses your lap as pillow. the angle captures the way your fingers are playing with his hair and scratching his scalp gently. the picture is a little blurry because there’s not enough light to properly focus the lens.]
liked by riley41, jjoanne.spam, and others
yourname im the happiest when im with him
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bbokicidal · 5 months ago
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"Are you serious...?" - Angst! [Hyung Line SKZ]
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Notes : These are all obviously fictional situations, the red flags are just based off of habits we know they have (like Chan's need to be needed, Changbin being blunt/honest.) This post isn't me saying I think they have these red flags, it's just a fun angsty prompt I wrote down. If you don't like it, scroll and don't read.
If people like this - a maknae line will be written! If not, prolly not lol.
Warnings : Angst with no comfort, red flag behavior - some of these aren't even that bad or could be misunderstandings but still.
Maknae Line | "Good Luck, Babe." Part Two!! Here!
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BangChan - Brushing off/Having the wrong priorities
One time, it was him forgetting a dinner date - the next, he was staying at the studio late when he was supposed to be meeting your parents for the first time. You let it slide because ultimately you understood that his job took up a lot of his time, and honestly? It wasn't easy to forget about but he had a tendency to take care of you and make up with it by quick gestures before he left the apartment or when he came home; Soft back hugs, quick cuddles before he fell asleep, or kisses in passing. Lately, however, he's been slacking. He'd begun to shrug you off any time you'd touched his arm or hand, nudging you away while he typed on his laptop. He'd tip his head away from yours while laying in bed together or he'd sit further away on the dressing room sofa.
The tipping point was when he was getting ready to go on stage and was standing in wait for the others to be ready. There was still five minutes and Chris looked a bit jittery, so you figured a quick hug or kiss would help ease his nerves. However as soon as you approach and reach to touch his arms, he steps back and keeps his eyes trained on his phone. You reach again, hesitant, and his brow furrows as he maneuvers to the side to get away. "Don't touch me."
Your lips pop apart in surprise. "...Are you serious?"
He looks over, eyes briefly wandering your face before he reaches to fix his in-ear and walks away to the door, disappearing around the corner and leaving you standing there alone. Even the soft touch of Felix's hand on your back as he passed by was warmer than anything you'd felt from Chris in the last two months.
Lee Know - Keeping secrets / Prioritizing Privacy within himself
Minho had a very, very bad habit of not telling you things. In this instance; That he was leaving for tour in two days.
A world. fucking. tour. The only reason you didn't know about it was because you hadn't been out of your home in the last few weeks unless it was for a quick coffee at the cafe or to grab lunch with a friend. Work was heavy during this time of year and as someone who worked remotely, you often spent grueling hours in your office on your computer - hunched, tired, head pounding and back sore.
So you would think that when you entered your bedroom one evening after just finishing up sorting files in your office, you'd be happy to see your boyfriend already there. And you were for a moment, until you realized he was packing three rather large suitcases full of his clothes and necessities. He looks to you, then away, wordless.
"Are.. you.. moving out, or something?" You breathe in a laugh, eyes wandering over Minho as he folds a t-shirt and tucks it into his suitcase with the others.
"No. I have to bring all of my luggage to the company building tomorrow so they can have it at the airport when we leave for Australia."
"Australia?" Your brows quirk. "When -- Why --"
"Tour." He stops his movements to stare over at you, a hint of irritation evident on his face. "We're going on tour for six months."
"Six--" You breathe out, eyes widening. "Six months. And you didn't think to tell me?"
Minho moves to drop a pair of pants in his suitcase. "I would've told you if you could handle the news, maybe. Every time I mention leaving all you do is whine and pout about how long I'll be gone."
"I get upset, yes, what girlfriend wouldn't be upset that her boyfriend is leaving for a week or two? But six months, Minho, I --"
"Don't start." He all but huffs out the words, shutting you up immediately. Minho turns away to continue folding items of clothing on the shared bed and as you watch him do so, you stand and have to wonder if you want to be there when he returns home from the tour.
Changbin - Not knowing the difference between being rude and being blunt
He didn't seem to understand when to stop. Changbin had a tendency to be honest, sometimes to a fault, though you never seemed to complain about it because most of the time it wasn't a big deal. He called Jeongin out for saying the wrong word when singing, or blatantly threw people under the bus when a joke was taken too far.
And he was like that with you, too. He would be honest with you when you asked his opinion of something - was the shirt unflattering? Were you being too loud? Was your makeup bad today?
He'd lay it on you point blank. Yes, the shirt fit a little weird. Yes, you were being a bit loud in his ear. And yes, your eyeliner was going in two different directions. Criticism that was asked for. But when it wasn't asked for? Oh.
"What is your problem?" He bites as he follows you down the hallway to your bedroom. "We have ten minutes, just wear the damn dress and put your shoes on. We have to go."
Your huffs mix with stifled sobs as you rip open your dresser drawer and dig for other options, hands shaking and eyes teary. "You just told me the dress looks ugly, Changbin. I'm not wearing it out if you don't like it--!"
"What does it matter if i don't like it? It's your body, wear what you want!"
"You're my boyfriend!" You retaliate, frustrated. "I want to look nice for you and -- for the group, and I want you to like what I wear, obviously!"
Changbin lets his eyes roll before he turns out of the bedroom doorway and down the hall. You pause to watch him go, listening as he bites about how he doesn't have time for this and needs to leave for the group dinner. You stand in front of your dresser in shock as the door to your apartment slams shut, leaving you in silence and all on your own.
Hyunjin - Being too cocky / Making you feel inferior
It hadn't happened before now, and you weren't sure why it happened at all. But it did.
You'd approached to gently hold onto your boyfriend's arm as he talked to an older idol - someone he looked up to and had just done a collaboration video with. You'd only come up to tell him that the food was delivered and he could have dinner before his stage, but the look he gave you when he finally turned his head was .... wild.
No words were needed. The way his eyes directed to the side you stood at before falling as if looking you over and then immediately looking away; The way the smirk on his lips only widened and his tongue pushed at his canines as he redirected his gaze elsewhere. The soft scoff that left his lips. The way his arm slipped away from your hold in clear nuance that he didn't want you touching him.
It made you feel like less. Like he was pretending he didn't know you - Like he wanted you to bug off and disappear from his line of sight.
Hyunjin had a tendency to put on a confident, bold persona when he was on stage and at first you thought maybe that was why he was acting this way. It was lingering in his body from the dance video he'd just filmed with the other idol and eventually, it would wear off.
But as he turned from you and lifted a hand to fix his hair, he talks to the other as if you're not even there at all. And you have to wonder if it's a persona for the video, or a side of him you had just experienced for the first time. Now you could only hope it wouldn't happen again.
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fromgoy2joy · 9 months ago
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I sat next to the protest today.
I wrote fan-fiction about two gay jewish dads raising children to the play list of the chant- "No peace on stolen land!" on an American college campus. It isn't a name brand one either, nor does it have any legitimate ties to Israel. The anger is just there- it has rotten these future doctors, nurses, teachers, and members of society.
I don't even know what to call their demonstration- it was a tizzy of a Jew hatred affair. At points, there were empathetic statements about Gazans and their suffering. Then outright support of Hamas and violent resistance against all colonizers. Then this bizarre fixation on antisemitism while explaining the globalists are behind everything.
"Antisemitism doesn't exist. Not in the modern day," A professor gloated over a microphone in front of the library. "It's a weaponized concept, that's prevents us from getting actual places- ignore anyone who tells you otherwise."
"How can we be antisemitic?" A pasty white girl wearing a red Jordanian keffiyeh gloats five minutes later. "Palestinians are the actual semites."
"there is only one solution!" The crowd of over 50 students and faculty cried, over and over.
"Been there, done that," I thought, then added a reference to a mezuza in the fourth paragraph.
Two other Jewish students passed where I was parked out, hunching and trying to be as innocuous as possible. We laughed together at my predicament, where I am willingly hearing this bullshit and feeling so amused by this.
"Am I crazy? For sitting here?" I asked them. My friends shook their heads.
"We did the same last week- it's an amazing experience, isn't it?”
We all cackled hysterically again. They left to study for finals. Two minutes later, I learned from the current speaker that “Zionism” is behind everything bad in this world.
Forty-five minutes in, a boy I recognized joined me on my lonely bench. He came from a very secular Jewish family and had joined Hillel recently to learn more about his culture. His first Seder was two nights ago.
He sat next to me, heavy like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. There was just this despondent look on his face. I couldn’t describe it anyone else, but just sheer hopelessness personified.
“They hate us. I can’t believe how much they hate us.” He said in greeting.
And for the first time all day, I had no snarky response or glib. All I could do was stare out into the crowd, and sigh.
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straylightdream · 2 months ago
Text
meet me in the hallway
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𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: jeon wonwoo x f.reader x kim mingyu
They been best friends their whole life. They’ve shared everything but they have never shared a girl. What happens when no one can keep their emotions out of this?
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: neighbor / friends with benefits au, non idol au
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 24.4k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, body image issues explicit language, drinking, smut warning below
an: I wrote this a long time ago and decided to edit it and rework some stuff.
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
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𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: intercourse, multiple sex scenes, talks of sleeping with someone else, wonwoo is kinda rough once, sex while intoxicated (both parties are fully consenting, oral (f, receiving), shower sex, threesome, some fluffy smut as well, Mingyu accidentally listening to the mc and wonwoo have sex
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ONE - THE BEGINNING
You had all lived in the same apartment building. Wonwoo and Mingyu were childhood friends who moved in together right after college.
You were a teacher who lived next door to them. You had never been the type of girl who dated around or anything like that. Monogamy was alway the way for you. You had only ever been in long term relationships.
Your last boyfriend was an asshole who would break up with you to sleep around. He gave you this long winded speech about how he was still young and really wanted to see other people. He did that for about two months before he came crawling back to you.
You had been single for the last two years, and it was probably the happiest you had been. It was nice to not have to worry about being in a relationship. You just got to do what made you happy.
You had lived next to the boys for the last year and a half and over that time you had grown to have a pretty good friendship with them. At least once a week, which normally was every Friday night. You would all hang out, drink lots of wine and play board games or something like that. According to Wonwoo you all hung out on Friday just so you could get wine drunk.
It was Thursday and Wonwoo and Mingyu had invited you over to eat Chinese take-out and watch a movie. You came over and you were all sitting on the living room couch with plates filled with Chinese food. Mingyu was flipping through Netflix trying to find something for them to watch. Wonwoo and you were too busy chatting about something random that happened at his work.
“So, what should we watch?” Mingyu asked.
“I’m cool with anything,” Wonwoo said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Let’s just watch that anime Wonwoo was talking about,” you said sitting in the middle of the two boys.
“Sounds good,” Mingyu said, clicking on an episode.
You sat on the couch joking around and eating Chinese food until about ten when you said it was time to head home. You had to get up at six to go to work. If you stay any later you’ll be too tired at work tomorrow.
“Hey (YN), just so you know I’m going out of town tomorrow,” Mingyu said standing with you at the door to his apartment.
“Does that mean we can’t have wine Friday?” You can’t help but sound disappointed. You always look forward to Fridays with the boys.
Wonwoo yelled and walked over, “hey, we’re still friends we can have wine Friday without Mingyu.”
Mingyu rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Fine, have wine Friday without me,” Mingyu stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you to give you a hug goodbye. He always gives you the best hugs.
“Wonwoo, did you want to come over to my place tomorrow?” You asked.
“Yeah that sounds good,” he said before giving you a hug goodbye.
“Alright Mingyu, have fun on your trip, and I’ll see you tomorrow around five Wonwoo,” you smiled before walking out the door.
TWO: A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO WINE FRIDAYS
Mingyu let out a sigh as he turned to look at Wonwoo who was smiling, and Mingyu just shook his head. Wonwoo was a huge flirt and he knew while he was gone Wonwoo was probably going to hit on you the whole time he was gone. Wonwoo could tell by Mingyu’s face that something was going on. “Mingyu what’s up?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Mingyu lied.
Wonwoo had known him basically all his life. He knew he had something on his mind, “I don’t believe you.”
“Okay I have a little crush on her.” He sighs.
Wonwoo smiled, “I can’t say I blame you, she's really pretty.” He patted him on the shoulder.
“We’re all really close and I don’t want to ruin it, but she’s such a sweet and funny girl,” he let out a light sigh.
“Yeah she’s one hell of a girl,” Wonwoo smiled.
-
Wonwoo knocked on your apartment door with a bottle of wine in his hand. He couldn’t lie for some reason he felt slightly nervous about the fact you were going to be hanging out alone. Opening the door, you had a smile on your face, and your hair was pulled back showing off the pretty skin on your neck. You wore a sundress and a blazer. You didn’t have a chance to change after work. “You look pretty,” he said as he stepped inside and slipped off his shoes.
“Thank you, Wonwoo. So I was thinking we could order some pizza. Because nothing screams classy quite like pizza and wine,” you said with a breathy laugh.
You walked into the kitchen area and handed Wonwoo the wine opener and reached into the cupboard and pulled out two large wine glasses. Sitting the glasses down in front of Wonwoo, he poured you both large glasses of wine. Grabbing your phone off the counter you ordered some pizza. Wonwoo sat at the kitchen table working on drinking his glass of wine. He couldn’t help but love how easy everything seemed between you. Walking back into the kitchen you went and removed your blazer and were now only wearing your pretty floral sundress. You sat down a game of scrabble you had under the coffee table, that you had literally only bought for wine Fridays.
“So, we’re playing scrabble tonight?” he asked arching his eyebrow so it showed over his circular glasses.
“Yes, we're playing scrabble. It’s the only two-person game I own,” you said sitting down.
You played scrabble and ate pizza together and finished off the bottle of wine Wonwoo had brought. You were now sitting still at the kitchen table but you had switched to taking shots of tequila and playing never have I ever. You told Wonwoo that you were boring so this wasn’t going to get you super drunk.
You tossed back your first shot and suddenly regretted even agreeing to play this stupid game. As the golden liquor slid down your throat. Tequila has never been your friend. Especially when it came to drinking games.
“Never have I ever gone streaking,” you said with a pointed look hoping that Wonwoo was going to have to drink. You’ve heard college stories from both Wonwoo and Mingyu and you knew the both got a little wild back in the day.
He gave her smirk and took a shot. Shaking his head, he said, “never have I ever had sex with a teacher.”
With a heavy sigh you grabbed the shot glass and quickly took the hard liquor. “First of all, I need to explain, he wasn’t my teacher. It was the stupid hot history teacher at the school I work with, we dated for a little while.”
“Damn that’s scandalous,” he smirked, causing your cheeks to burn.
“Never have I ever had sex in public,” you stare at a little shocked he took a drink.
“Never have I ever had sex in my room-mate’s room,” he said, hoping in college you had sex in your roommate's room.
You shook your head letting him know you were going to be drinking to that. With a raised eyebrow you said, “never have I ever had a body shot taken off me.”
He tossed back another shot and then looked at you extremely confused, “why has no man ever been smart enough to lick alcohol off you?”
You shrugged your shoulders, “probably has something to do with the fact I’m not a small girl.”
“Fuck that you’re beautiful and I say we change that right now,” he stood up quickly and became extremely aware of the fact that he was pretty drunk. He’s never gotten this drunk hanging out with you.
“Are you being serious?” You asked, confused.
He nodded his head and handed you a shot glass, “drink up doll, because I’m about to lick your skin.” Your cheeks burned even more as you clinked the shot glass with the one Wonwoo was holding. You stood by the table staring at each other for a moment before Wonwoo walked away and walked over to the fridge to pull out a lime. He quickly cut it up into a few pieces and grabbed the salt bottle off the counter. You stood in front of the kitchen table like actually in shock this was happening.
“Wonwoo, showing off my body makes me uncomfortable,” you said, reaching out and resting your hand on his chest and you swayed a little bit at the feeling of the mixture of wine and tequila flowing through your system.
Leaning forward he put his lips to your ear and whispered, “you’re beautiful and let me show you that.”
A shiver went down your spine as you nodded your head silently. She moved back and bumped the kitchen table. Wonwoo reached down and pushed your dress up over your hips. Helping you jump onto the kitchen table. You were suddenly extremely happy that you wore a cute pair of cheek underwear to work today. Laying back on the table, you sat back on your elbows as Wonwoo pushed your dress up further.
“May I,” he asked, holding the lime close to your breast.
Silently you nod as he dragged the lime up your chest towards your neck, wetting the skin. He then reached over and coated it lightly with salt. Holding the lime up to your lips you slowly opened your mouth holding the lime for him. He gave you one last smile before he poured the golden tequila into your belly button. You held her breath as his lips kissed your skin drinking the liquid. You felt yourself becoming turned on as he dragged his tongue across your chest removing the salt. Without a word his lips brushed your as he took the lime from your mouth. You stared at him completely breathlessly, you weren’t sure if anything in your life had ever aroused you more than what Wonwoo had just done to you. Pushing your thighs together you attempted to remove some of the tension.
He pulled the lime from his own and sat it down on the table as stared at you biting his bottom lip. You couldn’t even bring yourself to speak, because you were pretty sure the only thing that was going to come out of your mouth would be a moan.
“Did you like that YN?” he asked, smirking.
With wide eyes you silently nodded.
“Did you want to take one off me?” he asked, knowing it was only fair.
You nodded your head again and slowly sat up. Wonwoo helped you off the table and removed his shirt before jumping onto the kitchen table. Turning to the counter you grabbed a wedge of lime and dragged it across his extremely toned stomach. You poured salt across the trail of lime, and then brought the lime to Wonwoo’s lips and he bit down with his eyes locked on yours. Silently you poured the liquor into his belly button. You glanced at him for approval and he gave you a nod. Licking the liquid from his skin you took a breath before you dragged your tongue across his abs, before your lips moved up to his mouth to take the lime. Stepping away slowly you bit the lime for a moment before sitting it on the table. Wonwoo sat on the edge of the table staring at you with lust filled eyes. Suddenly it became very clear that he might have made a mistake when he said you should take body shots. Because his brain was fogged with lust as he stared at you.
“Was that fun?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you said softly, standing in front of him.
Without a word he jumped off the table and crashed his lips into yours. You were caught off guard for a moment but it didn’t take long before your lips moved against his. His hands gripped your soft hips pulling you closer to him. Your hands wrapped around his neck holding on to.
His lips moved from your mouth and started kissing his way down your neck. You couldn’t help but moan as he nipped at your neck. Pulling away he looked at you with lust blown eyes, your bottom lip was captured between your teeth. You stared at each other knowing that what was about to happen could change everything.
“What do you want to happen right now?” he asked with his hands still gripping your hips.
“I don’t ever do this, but I just want you,” you sighed, feeling drunk on lust. There has been a part of you that has had a lingering crush on Wonwoo since you met him. There was something about a kind of nerdy guy who wears glasses with a black cat personality.
“Okay baby girl, I will give you anything you want,” he whispered into your ears. Him calling you baby was enough to make you wet right there on the spot.
He turned you around so you were leaning against the table. Looking over your shoulder you watched as he dropped down to his knees and hooked his fingers into the elastic on your undies, slowly he slid them down your thighs. He quickly unbuckled his pants and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his wallet and grabbed the single condom. He sat it down on the kitchen table and then quickly undid his pants the rest of the way and pushed them down his thighs. As his pants hit the floor, he reached for the foil pack and tore it open with his teeth. He rolled the rubbed down his length. Your hands braced the table anticipating what was about to happen.
“Can we remove the dress?” he asked with his lips pressed to the back of your neck.
You nod your head quickly. If there wasn’t quite a bit of alcohol going through your system, you probably would have said no because of how self-conscious you are. He reached for the zipper that ran down your spine, he reached up and gently pushed the strapped of your dress down your shoulders and the fabric fell to the ground.
“What about this?” he asked with his fingers running under the straps of your bra. Silently you nodded your head once again. He unclasped your bra and you helped push it off. You stood there completely naked as he kissed down your spine. He reached around the front of you and dipped his fingers into your wet folds as he kissed the back of your neck. You couldn’t help the light moan that passed your lips as he gently stroked your sensitive nub. “Are you ready?” he asked with his lips brushing your ear.
Silently you nod anticipating what’s to come. He slowly pushed inside you. A low gasp passed her lips at the stretching feeling. You hadn’t had sex in about two years and you were going to have to get used to the feeling all over again. The slight pain you felt probably had to do with the fact that Wonwoo was quite a bit bigger than any other guys you had slept with. As he bottomed out his hands gripped your hips and you leaned forward on the table resting your elbows on the white wood and moaned.
“Are you good?” he rasped knowing you probably needed a minute. His hand gently ran up and down your sides giving you time to adjust.
“Yeah,” you said, speaking for the first time in a while. You weren’t sure if you could form proper words for a moment there.
He started his pace pretty slowly giving you time to get used to him, but as you arched your back and moaned he picked up his pace. Leaning back up you stood there with your hands pressed to the white hardwood table moaning as he thrust into you at a quick pace. One of his hands moved from your hips and reached around to massage one of your breasts. Gasping as he rolled your taut nipple between his fingers as he continued to thrust quickly.
“Wonwoo,” you moaned. “I’m close.”
He leaned forward and left a trail of wet kisses up your spine, and with his lips ghosting you skin whispered, “cum for me then baby.”
Your eyes about rolled in the back of your head as the coil in your stomach grew even more taunt. “Harder,” was about the only thing she could even think to moan.
“Come on baby,” he gripped both of your hips and continued to thrust into you even harder.
A loud gasp falls from your lips as your high crashes over you. Instantly falling to your elbows as Wonwoo continued to pound into you. He only got a few sloppy thrusted in before his own release. Slumping forward he rested his body against your back as he fought to catch his breath.
“Wonwoo,” you paused trying to catch her breath. “I need to sit my legs feel like they’re about to give out.”
He let out a soft laugh and pulled away from you and sat down in the chair by the table. You took a deep breath and sat in the chair that you had been originally sitting in. You were both completely naked as you just stared at each other trying to take in everything that had just happened.
“I’m gonna be sore tomorrow,” you said with a little laugh, knowing that you were most likely gonna be hungover and sore from the rough sex you just had.
“I’m rarely that rough with someone the first time,” he ran his fingers through his hair, surprised at how rough he had gotten. “Was I too rough?” he was suddenly concerned he hurt you.
“I’m fine,” you ran her fingers across your face and looked up at Wonwoo who was still staring at you with a concerned look. “Wonwoo, believe me you weren’t too rough. I’m not the type that normally likes rough sex, but damn that was pretty hot. I’m also not the type that casually sits around naked,” you said as you reached down for your sundress that was on the floor.
“I feel like I should let you know, I didn’t have sex with you just because I’m drunk. I actually think your beautiful,” he reached out and placed his hand on your bare thigh.
“Thank you, Wonwoo,” you smiled. You stood up and pulled your sundress without bothering to put your bra on. You walked over to the fridge still wobbly from the mixture of all the alcohol and the intense orgasm that Wonwoo had just given you. You pulled out a bottle of water and started chugging it and stared at Wonwoo who was still sitting at the kitchen table completely naked.
“I think this puts a whole knew meaning to wine Fridays,” he said with a little laugh.
You shook your head and suddenly felt awkward about the fact that the one-time Mingyu goes away, you and Wonwoo had sex on your kitchen table.
“Should we blame body shots for all that?”
He nodded his head, “yeah I mean body shots gave me a reason to basically get you naked.”
“I can already feel my hangover coming,” you sighed sitting back down at the kitchen table.
“Yeah let’s never mix tequila and wine again,” he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to yours. It was a nice change after how rough he had just been.
“Did you want to cuddle on the couch and watch your anime you like?” You asked.
“Yeah maybe I should put boxers on,” he said reaching onto the floor to find his boxers.
You both got comfortable on the couch and curled up together. As you laid there for a while you finally said, “Mingyu missed a crazy wine Friday.”
Wonwoo couldn’t help the wave of guilt that washed over him. He had just slept with the girl that Mingyu had told him he like. He knew Mingyu said it was just a crush but suddenly he felt terrible, and knew that when Mingyu came home, he was going to have to tell his best friend about what had happened.
“Even though I can already feel the hangover coming on, I had fun Wonwoo,” you glanced up at him.
“Me too (Y/N),” even though he knew he might of fucked up with Mingyu he couldn’t lie he was glad he spent his Friday with you.
THREE: SOMETHING NEW
After the events that had unfolded with you and Wonwoo, you hadn’t seen each other. There really hadn’t been time for you to be able to talk about what had happened that Friday night. You had to go see your mother for a family birthday party and Wonwoo had some work stuff of his own to take care of.
Sunday rolled around and Wonwoo was eating lunch at the kitchen table when Mingyu walked in. The moment his warm eyes locked onto Mingyu he was suddenly filled with a sense of guilt for sleeping with the girl Mingyu had a crush on.
Mingyu sat his suitcase down and walked over and sat down across from Wonwoo. Mingyu could instantly tell something was wrong by the look on his face. “What’s up Wonwoo?” Mingyu was curious to know what was going on.
“I’m a terrible friend,” he sighed as he sat his fork down.
Mingyu tilted his head slightly to the side and looked at Wonwoo confused on what he could possibly be talking about. “What are you talking about?” he asked.
“I slept with the girl you have a crush on,” he sighed pushing his fingers through his dark locks.
Mingyu let out a light sigh and closed his eyes, processing what Wonwoo had just said to him, “you slept with (y/n).” It wasn’t a question by any means it was a statement. Mingyu wanted to be mad at him, because he had literally just told him about his crush on you. But he knew he didn’t have a right to be mad. He didn’t have claims on you or anything, he had no right to get between you and Wonwoo.
“Yeah, we got drunk, and it just kind of happened. We just had a fun time, and if you don’t want me to hook up with her again I won’t.”
Mingyu shook his head and let out a sigh, “Wonwoo I’m in no place to even try to be involved with anyone, so don’t let me get in the way.” Mingyu is so busy with his tech company he works for he barely has time to attempt and a relationship with how much he travels for work.
Wonwoo stared at Mingyu attempting to read his expression. He had known Mingyu basically all his life and normally he could tell what he was actually thinking by his expression. But at the moment Mingyu just kind of seemed indifferent or emotionless to the situation.
“Are you sure?”
Mingyu nodded his head, “yeah go for it, Wonwoo.”
The two of them talked about Mingyu’s trip for a little while catching up before Wonwoo knew he needed to have a serious talk with you. Walking next door he knocked on the door wondering if you were home. As he thought about it, he wondered if maybe he should have texted and asked if you were free. As he reached into his pocket for his phone to text you, he looked up at the sound of the door opening.
“Hey Wonwoo, what’s up?” You asked, leaning against the door frame.
He couldn’t help but let his warm eyes travel up and down your body. You were once again barefoot and wearing a cream-colored sundress that hit about an inch above your knees.
“Do you have time to talk?” he asked.
You nodded and stepped inside signaling for him to follow. You walked over and sat down on the couch that was in front of a large window. Wonwoo sat next to you and stared silently for a moment. You could tell he seems like he’s trying to figure out what to say.
“So…” he said awkwardly. “Friday was kind of wild…”
Your stomach dropped, wondering if Wonwoo may have regretted what had unfolded between you. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was suddenly a mistake. You were never someone who just casually had sex with someone. You had always waited to be in a relationship with someone before having sex with them.
“Wonwoo, we can forget it if you want,” you said awkwardly.
His eyes went wide and he shook his head, “um, (YN) I don’t want to forget that happened.”
You had a confused look on your face as you stared at him, “wait what did you want to talk about then?”
He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly wondering how he could possibly ask this next question without offending you. “I was wondering if you wanted to hook up more often?”
You couldn’t help but smile a little as you thought about the idea of you and Wonwoo having sex more often. “What exactly do you mean by that?”
“Like we could sleep together more often. I know we're both really busy, and you’ve mentioned that relationships aren’t really convenient for you right now, and I’m not exactly good at the whole relationship thing. But I personally think we have a good connection, and the sex was fun even with us both being drunk.”
You reached over and placed your hand on his thigh and asked, “so you want to be friends with benefits?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I mean I guess yeah. Like we can hang out and have sex and stuff.” He couldn’t lie he had never once in his life had a friend with benefits relationship, but for some reason his mind was telling him that it was a good idea.
“I mean, I haven’t had sex in like two years before Friday. It would probably be nice to have a way to relieve sexual tension and relax. You’re also nice to look at,” you said, causing Wonwoo to let out a laugh.
He leaned back on the couch, getting more comfortable. “So do we have rules?”
You hadn’t even thought about the fact that you might need to lay down some rules. You stared at him for a moment before saying, “as long as we’re doing this, I would like it if you didn’t sleep with anyone just out of respect for me.”
He nodded his head. He hadn’t even thought about sleeping with anyone else while they were doing this. “Anything else?” he asked.
You nodded your head, “I’m on birth control but I still want to use a condom every time. The last thing we need is for you to knock me up.” He nodded his head knowing that was a smart decision. You didn’t need the possibility of you accidentally bringing a kid into the picture.
“Oh, and just so you know I’m clean, I got tested last month, and I haven’t slept with anyone since then,” he said.
“I’m clean too.”
You smiled and stuck your hand out and he reached forward and shook your hand. He tugged on your arm and pulled you forward so fell towards him. He placed his hand on each side of your face and brought his lips to yours slowly. The kiss was slow and passionate, you placed your hands on his chest firmly as your lips moved together. Pulling away from you slowly he tugged on your bottom lip and you let out a soft moan.
Your eyes were locked on each other for a long moment, before you stood up and took his hand on your and stood up. You led him down the short hallway to your room. The second you were in your room he stood behind you and dragged the zipper on the back of your dress slowly. The cream-colored dress was in a pool at your feet. Without a second a thought his fingers unclipped your bra and it fell to the floor landing in the cream-colored pool. Turning around you faced him bare chested and reached for the bottom of his shirt signaling for him to take his shirt off. He rid himself of his shirt. You reached for his belt making quick work of removing it. Neither of you could seem to get your clothes off fast enough. Your focus was then on unbuttoning his pants. He pushed his pants off as you slid your panties down your thighs. Walking over you lay on your queen-sized bed. He got rid of his boxers and socks, and followed you to the bed.
“I wanted to taste you, baby,” he said, breaking the silence that had formed between you.
Silently you spread your legs as you laid back. You watched with hungry eyes as he crawled onto the bed. He started placing kisses on your knees and then worked his way to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. He placed a wet kiss on the top of your mound before dragging his tongue up your slit slowly. The moment his tongue lapped at your bundle of nerves you instantly let out a moan at the sensation. He rubbed index finger up and down your entrance, as he gently licked your sensitive clit. As his fingers slowly started pumping in and out of you, you tangled your fingers in his hair as you moaned. Each drag of his slender fingers earned a gasp.
It didn’t take much before you hit your high and your inner walls were clenching his fingers. Pulling away from you he licked his fingers and smirked as your chest was heaving as you came from your high.
“(YN), where do you keep your condoms?” he asked as he reached down and slowly pumped his hard length. The sight of you still coming down from the orgasm he gave you was turning him on even more.
“Top draw of the night stand,” you panted, closing your eyes.
He walked over and grabbed the box of condoms that you had in the top drawer and sat them on top of the night stand. Grabbing a foil packet he tore it open with his teeth, and slid the rubber down his length. Crawling back on to the bed he slowly spread your legs again. He hovered over you and pressed his lips to your for a heated kiss as he slowly slid into you. You gasped as he bottomed out and reached up to hold onto his back. Your back arched off the bed as he slowly thrust into you.
“I’m going to be gentler this time, and take care of you,” he said with his lips ghosting the skin of your neck. “I got you baby,” he rolled his hips into yours over and over again at a deliciously slow pace.
You lifted your hips to try and match his thrust as his lips moved across your skin, kissing wherever he possibly could. His lips moved down to your breast and he sucked gently on your taut nipples. With every thrust you couldn’t help but let out breathless gasp. Your fingers clawed at his back wanting him closer. He placed open mouth kisses wherever his lips could touch. The sounds you were making were driving him wild. The echoing sounds of your moans and whimpers, with the sounds of slapping skin was erotic.
“Wonwoo, I'm close,” you whined desperately.
“Baby come for me,” he moved his lips up to your ear and whispered. “Just let go baby,” his breath alone against your ear sent you over the edge. Your walls pulled on his length, and Wonwoo got a few more thrust in before he hit his high.
He came moaning your name and collapsed on top of you. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours for a soft kiss before he rolled off of you.
You laid there silently as you both rode out your highs. Wonwoo leaned over and pulled your soft body against his to cuddle.
“I could get used to this,” you sighed.
FOUR: DYING OF EMBARRASSMENT
It was the first Wine Friday since Wonwoo and you had started sleeping together and Mingyu couldn’t lie, he wasn’t exactly excited to be hanging out as a group. He kind of hated the fact that he knew you and Wonwoo were having sex. Mingyu had ordered Thai food from a place up the street and you were all sitting at the kitchen table discussing your work week. You and Wonwoo weren’t acting like you were a couple or anything so Mingyu was pretty happy about that. He also was happy about the fact you hadn’t had sex in Wonwoo’s room yet. Whenever you would hook up, Wonwoo would go over to your place.
The group was finishing up a bottle of wine when you started to play scrabble together. Mingyu was happy that everything between the group hadn’t seemed to change at all. Wonwoo and you never talked about what was going on between you, and Mingyu didn’t ask any questions.
As it was getting pretty late Mingyu told you guys he was going to head to bed because he was tired. He left you alone in the kitchen as you finished off what was left of the wine.
“Did you want to spend the night?” he asked knowing that you actually hadn’t had a sleep over yet, and you hadn’t had sex at his place.
You pushed a piece of your hair behind your ear and asked, “is that allowed?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “why wouldn’t it be?”
You raised her hands and shrugged, “I don’t know we haven’t had sex here before, and we haven’t had a sleepover.”
“Well Mingyu doesn’t care, and I want to cuddle,” he smiled standing up.
“I don’t have pajamas or anything,” you sighed.
“Okay let’s run next door and get your toothbrush and a change of clothes for tomorrow because you’re sleeping naked tonight,” he smirked.
You rolled your eyes and shook your head, “I need to bring something in case I have to get up.”
“Fine, whatever you say.”
You walked over to your place and you packed a little tote with something to wear tomorrow, an oversized shirt, and small sleep shorts, and your toothbrush. Once back at Wonwoo’s you brushed your teeth in the bathroom that was across the hall from Wonwoo’s room and was in your pajamas that Wonwoo told you he was going to take off you the second you were in his bedroom.
He kept his promise and the second you were in his room he quickly removed your clothes, and had you lying on your stomach on his bed. He laid naked on the bed next to you and placed kisses up and down your spine. He gripped your hips and laid on top of you slowly thrusting into you. You couldn’t help but moan as he gently bit the bare skin on your shoulder. Without a word he got off of you and rolled on to his back and told you to ride him. His hands gripped your soft hips as you slowly sank down on to his length. He sat up and massaged your breast as you continued to slide up and his length picked up the pace lightly. You couldn’t up but moan his name as he reached between you with one hand and rubbed your clit as you continued to ride him.
“Wonwoo,” you moaned.
Out in the hallway Mingyu had made the mistake to get up to use the restroom when it was obvious that his roommate was having sex with his crush. Mingyu let out a light sigh as he walked into the bathroom. His body seemed to be responding to the sounds of your moans. He walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face trying to calm down. He walked back into his bedroom trying to avoid hearing you have sex.
He laid in his bed for about twenty minutes before he got up to get something to drink. Walking back into the kitchen, he found you bent over wearing tiny shorts that didn’t even fully cover your ass. He couldn’t help but groan at the sight. You stood up quickly and awkwardly found Mingyu standing in the dimly lit kitchen wearing only his boxer-briefs. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander across his extremely fit body.
“Hey (y/n),” he said, giving you an awkward wave.
“Hey Mingyu,” you awkwardly waved back. “Do you mind that I’m staying over?” You asked, wondering if he wanted you to go home.
“You can stay over,” he said as he watched you slowly tug on the bottom of your tiny sleep short. He couldn’t help it when his eyes wandered across your soft body. He knew he probably shouldn’t think about you naked, but he suddenly wanted to know how you looked underneath your shorts that were leaving little to the imagination.
You bit your bottom lip and tugged on the bottom of your sleep shorts again, your eyes wandered down to Mingyu's small boxer-brief and noticed that his bulge had grown quite a bit. Suddenly your cheeks burned when you realized that you were barely wearing any clothes in his kitchen and now he had an erection.
His eyes went wide when he looked down, and suddenly he wanted to die. He couldn’t help that not even ten minutes he had heard you and Wonwoo going at it and now you were standing in front of him wearing basically only underwear and a shirt. He couldn’t control that his brain was automatically turned on by all this.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he said, sighed, moving his hands down to cover it.
“Hey it’s not a big deal,” that was a total lie because from the bulge in his boxer-briefs it looked like Mingyu was quite big.
You hated that suddenly you were thinking about seeing what was inside of his tight boxer-briefs. You ran your hands down your face not even sure what was going to happen now.
“I kind of want to die of embarrassment now,” he sighed.
“It’s fine, if you want, we can totally act like this never happened,” you gave him a soft smile knowing that he would probably prefer to act like this never happened.
“Yeah that would be great,” he sighed. “Well not that this isn’t a great time, but I came in here to get some water.
You gave him a smile and reached into the fridge to get a bottle of water. You held it out and Mingyu walked towards you. His hand touched yours and your eyes locked onto each other. There was suddenly even more tension between you. You both still held onto the water as Mingyu stepped closer. There was about a foot between you and your eyes hadn’t moved from each other’s. Both of them were silent, not even exactly sure what they should say. You looked up at him suddenly wanting to kiss him, and those thoughts made you feel like a terrible person. Not even fifteen minutes ago Wonwoo was literally inside you, and now you’re in the kitchen with Mingyu wanting to kiss him.
With his hand that wasn’t holding the water bottle he reached up and gently brushed some of your hair behind your ear. It was taking everything in him not to kiss you right then and there. He couldn’t do that though. He gave Wonwoo permission to be with you. He had no right to want to kiss you.
“Mingyu,” you whispered as you leaned forward slightly.
There wasn’t much space between you as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours. He took a deep breath wanting to say that you needed to stop, but at the moment he was at a loss for words.
“I should go back to bed,” you said softly as you pulled away from him.
He nodded his head and stepped back, “yeah let’s forget this ever happened.”
You nodded your head.
You both quickly left the kitchen and you slipped back into Wonwoo’s room. He was laying on his bed looking at his phone. He put his phone down and gave you her a smile and she suddenly felt guilty. Crawling back into bed, you laid on your side looking over at Wonwoo. You knew that you needed to tell him what just happened.
“I almost just kissed Mingyu,” you confessed.
He knit his eyebrows together and looked at you extremely confused, “what happened?” He couldn’t really be mad but he was just kind of confused about what had happened.
You rubbed your face feeling suddenly even more terrible, “I don’t even know, we just got close and almost kissed.”
He couldn’t help but feel guilty that he might have gotten in between you and Mingyu. Wonwoo noticed that there was some chemistry between Mingyu and you. He knew deep down inside he couldn’t be mad.
“Do you want to sleep with him?” he asked, knowing that you could slap him for asking her that.
You knit your eyebrows together and stared at him for a moment. You never even thought about the possibility of sleeping with Mingyu. Sure, you’re attracted to him, but you didn’t think about having sex with him. After seeing him only in his boxers though your mind did wonder what he would look like naked.
“I don’t know,” you said softly, feeling embarrassed.
“So, there’s tension between you two maybe you should have sex.” He couldn’t believe he was asking you to have sex with Mingyu. Part of him thought it might ease some of his guilty conscience about hooking up with you when Mingyu liked you first.
“Would you be okay with that?” You asked, reaching over and resting your hand on top of his.
He nodded his head knowing that he couldn’t be selfish, “yeah I can talk to Mingyu about it tomorrow.”
You couldn’t help the butterflies that seemed to form in your stomach. You couldn’t believe that Wonwoo had just offered for you to have sex with Mingyu, and that you actually agreed with it.
FIVE: YOU MAKE ME FEEL GOOD
You stood in the shower together with Wonwoo’s hands wondering your naked body as his lips moved down your neck with open mouth kisses. You couldn’t help but moan as he nipped at the sensitive skin.
You pump his length as he kisses his way across your skin.
“Fuck-“ he moans. His moans egg you on. You continue stroking him until he cums painting your stomach. “You’re so good at that,” he sighs.
“Thank you.”
“Let me make you feel good.” He presses his body to yours as he kisses you. You’re in the mix of a heated makeout session as he moved his fingers down to your core and his fingers started doing lazy figure eights as his lips were still on your wet skin. He removed his fingers from your core and gripped your hips walking you back towards the shower wall.
His strong hand reached down to lift your leg, and squealed a little as you felt your foot slip and seconds later, his hand lost its grip on your thigh and you slipped and landed on your ass. Before Wonwoo could lose his own footing, he managed to catch himself. He looked down at you with wide eyes worried you hurt yourself falling. “(YN) are you okay?” he asked.
You groaned lowly and nodded.
“I’m so sorry,” he reached down and helped you stand up.
Rubbing your ass, you looked over at him and shook your head, “what happened to, I promise I won’t let you fall?”
“I think there was soap on the floor,” he looked down trying to see why you slipped. “I’m so sorry (YN), I promised I wouldn’t let that happen.”
You let out a soft laugh knowing that Wonwoo didn’t mean to drop you, “I guess it’s my fault because I washed my hair first.”
“I can massage your butt and kiss it to make it feel better,” he smirked.
Her eyes narrowed on him, “you aren’t touching my ass anytime soon after this.”
“I’m really sorry baby,” he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your cheek.
“I think it’s safe to say we aren’t having sex in the shower.” He nodded his head knowing you were in no mood for shower sex after falling.
You got out of the shower and were still in the bathroom drying off when Wonwoo brought up the idea of him talking to Mingyu.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” You asked, unsure if Wonwoo was actually fully okay with this.
He nodded and said, “yeah I think this is a good idea.”
“Alright if you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it happening.”
SIX: PURE BLISS
Sitting on his bed Mingyu stared at Wonwoo dumbfounded. He wasn’t sure if he heard Wonwoo properly. There was no way that he had brought up the idea of him having sex with you. He was fully expecting for Wonwoo to be upset about him almost kissing you. He never expected for him to be completely fine with it and offer for him to sleep with you.
He scratched his neck and stared at him, not even sure what he should say to him. This had to be some sick joke, there was no way you were was okay with this.
“Wonwoo you’re joking right?”
He shook his head, “no, I think it’s a good idea.”
He leaned forward and rested his elbow on his knee and sighed.
“Mingyu, you liked her before I started hooking up with her. She’s not my girlfriend, and she is obviously attracted to you.”
Wonwoo walked over and sat down on the bed next to him. He looked over at Mingyu and rested his hand on his shoulder, “she’s fine with this by the way. She’s not my girlfriend, and I kind of got in between what could have been between you guys.”
Mingyu’s eyebrows knit together, he couldn’t lie he had thought about what it would be like to have sex with you, but the idea of sleeping with you seemed so strange to him. Sure, he and Wonwoo had shared a lot of things over their friendship, but they had never shared a girl.
“Wonwoo you hang out with her all the time, and you guys are having sex all the time. Why isn’t she your girlfriend?” he asked him the question that Wonwoo had been asking himself quite a bit over this last week.
“We both know I make a terrible boyfriend, and I’m not great with commitment.”
Wonwoo knew that he wasn't good at being in a relationship. He figured that out back in college when he dated Yeri. She was an amazing girl who was sweet and beautiful, but for some reason commitment freaked Wonwoo out to no end. He broke up with her out of nowhere claiming he needed to spread his wings
“Wonwoo don’t you think this is a really bad idea?”
Wonwoo shook his head.
“Maybe we should all talk about this.” Mingyu said, trying to think logically about the whole situation.
“We can all talk about it. She’s home right now, we can walk over there right now.”
Mingyu nodded and stood up. He wasn’t going to be fully on board with this idea until he had a chance to see what you had to say about this situation. The whole time Mingyu had known you he didn’t know if he had heard her even bring up sex before. Every time Wonwoo would crack a joke about sex you would just get shy and stay silent.
They walked out of their apartment and headed next door to your apartment. Wonwoo knocked on the door and Mingyu stood back awkwardly. He couldn’t believe they were actually going to have this conversation. You answered the door and gave both the boys a big smile and led them into your kitchen, where you were making yourself a cup of coffee. Both the boys silently sat at the table and watched as you moved around the kitchen. You were once again wearing a sundress like you normally did during the warm weather. Wonwoo loved seeing you like this, he thought you looked so beautiful.
Sitting down at the table you looked at both the boys and smiled, “so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”
Wonwoo leaned back in the chair and smiled, “Mingyu and I talked about the possibility of him sleeping with you, and he’s unsure about it.”
You couldn’t help but wonder if you made a mistake letting Wonwoo know you were interested in sleeping with Mingyu. The fact that he was unsure about it, suddenly gave you the feeling that he plans on rejecting you.
Your face had fallen a little and Mingyu automatically noticed. “(YN), are sure you’re okay with this? I mean I think you’re beautiful, and everything,” he started to ramble on stumbling over his words. “Are you really sure you’re okay with this?” he needed to hear you say that you were one-hundred percent on board with this.
You nodded and couldn’t help but smile as Mingyu was nervously rambling, “I’m okay with this. I was never the type of girl who had sex with someone unless I was in a relationship, but with you guys things are different. I really trust both of you.”
Wonwoo reached over and patted Mingyu on the back, “see Mingyu, she’s good with it. (YN) you have to promise us, if at any point you want to stop any of this, you’ll tell us. You don’t have to worry about hurting our feelings.”
Mingyu nodded along with Wonwoo, “he’s right, anything that happens here, is completely up to you.”
You smiled feeling way better about the situation. “You guys need to promise me that if we do this, this isn’t going to ruin your friendship. I can’t be what comes between the two of you.” They both nodded in agreement. “Also, like jealousy can’t be a thing here,” you said.
“It won’t be an issue,” Wonwoo agreed.
“Also, we need to make sure we always use condoms because I’m for sure as hell not going to have a pregnancy scare and then have to worry about who the father is.” They both nodded knowing that could be really bad for all them. “So, when does this whole thing start?” You asked.
“Well why don’t you two spend some quality time together now?” Wonwoo asked.
Mingyu shrugged, still feeling pretty awkward about the whole situation. You looked over at Mingyu and gave him a smile, “right now works.”
Wonwoo stood up and walked over to where you were sitting. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss, and made his way out of the apartment. He knew it was going to be awhile before you actually hooked up but he wanted to give you both some privacy.
You sat at the kitchen table for a few moments making small talk while you worked on drinking your coffee. As you drank the last sip you stood up and walked over to Mingyu and reached your hand out. He laced his fingers with yours and you led him down the hallway to your room. You were suddenly feeling extremely nervous about this whole situation. You told yourself that this experience was a chance to really work on feeling self confident and was a chance to explore more of your sexual side.
Walking into your room you shut the door behind Mingyu and stood there staring at him silently wondering how this was even going to start. Never in your life had you made plans to sleep with someone you weren't actually dating. Things with Wonwoo naturally happened. You didn’t make a plan to have sex before you did.
“Maybe we should kiss,” you said softly, trying to soften him up. He nodded his head. Stepping forward you placed your hand on his cheek and leaned forward gently pressing your lips to his. Your first kiss was sweet but passionate. You placed your hands on his chest as both his hands reached up to hold your face. Your lips danced as his tongue slid along your bottom lips asking for permission.
Your hands were slightly shaky from nerves as you reached up to start unbuttoning his white dress shirt. He could feel your hands shaking and he slowly removed his lips from yours and looked into your eyes. “We can stop this if you want?” He needed this all to be on your terms.
Shaking your head, you softly sighed, “I’m not exactly comfortable in my own skin, and I normally don’t like people seeing me naked.”
A look of confusion crossed his face as he stared at you, “what do you mean? Wonwoo has seen you naked.”
You stepped away from him and wrapped your arms across your soft stomach, “the first time we had sex, I was drunk and didn’t have time to think about what was happening. I didn’t really have a chance to feel self-conscious.”
Reaching out he rested his hand under your chin and tilted your head up so you were looking right into his warm eyes, “hey (YN), I think you’re beautiful, and the other night in the kitchen I practically saw you naked. Since that awkward encounter I haven’t been able to stop picturing you naked. So don’t doubt yourself, I already know I’m going to like what I see.”
His sweet words caused a huge smile to form on your face. “Thank you, Mingyu,” you reached out for the buttons on his dress shirt again.
His eyes stayed locked on yours as your fingers seemed to steady as you made work of unbuttoning his shirt. The moment his shirt was fully unbuttoned you reached up and pushed it down his toned shoulders. You reached for his belt, he wanted to stop you and ask if he could take off your dress first, but he knew he needed to do things at your pace. You tugged his belt off and unbuttoned his jeans. Reaching down and pushed off his jeans and stood in front of you in nothing but his boxer-briefs.
Your lust filled eyes traveled across his extremely toned body. You were still in awe that you were sleeping with Wonwoo who looked like he was made by the gods and wasn’t real, and now you were going to sleep with Mingyu who looks the same just in a taller stature.
“Are you liking what you see?” he awkwardly asked with a little laugh.
Biting your bottom lip, you fought back a small smile.
“Can we possibly take off your sundress?” he asked knowing you might say no.
You nodded and turned around and pulled up your hair to give him access to the zipper. He reached up and slowly slid the zipper down. He gently reached up and pushed the straps off your shoulders causing the dress to fall to the ground at your feet. He slowly ran his finger down from the top of your neck down your spine to the top of the clasp on your bra. He paused and whispered, “can I take this off?”
Silently you nodded.
He unclasped your bra and removed it. He stepped in front of you and let his eyes travel down your soft body as you stood in front of him feeling very exposed. He reached down and started placing gentle kisses across your chest. His lips placed kisses on your taunted nipples and you closed your eyes enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin. He reached down and hooked his fingers into your panties and pulled them down your thighs. As your panties hit the floor you looked up at him with wide eyes.
Stepping away from you he pushed down his boxers and he freed his growing erections. You bit your bottom lip wondering how bold you should be. If this was Wonwoo your hands would be all over him right now, but you were still nervous about being with Mingyu. You fully trusted him, but you didn’t know his body like you did Wonwoo’s. In the time you were with Wonwoo you had learned all about the things that make him tick. You know all the right places to touch that turn him on, and he knows the way to make you putty in his hands.
Slowly you stepped towards him and started touching his growing length. He closed his eyes tightly enjoying the feeling of your soft hands touching him. Your soft hand moved up and down his hardening length. He’s definitely thicker than Wonwoo.
“Can I touch you (YN)?” he asked, dying to know what you felt like.
You nodded as you continued to stroke his heavy length. He reached forward and rubbed his fingers up and down your folds feeling how wet you already were. Your eyes stayed locked on each other as you touched each other. Mingyu rubbed your sensitive bundle of nerves attempting to make you even wetter than you already were.
A loud moan passed your lips as you closed your eyes feeling the coil start to tighten in your stomach. You stepped away from Mingyu and removed your hand from his hard length, earning a whimper. He stared at you with wide eyes wondering what was going on.
“I need you, all of you,” you walked over to your nightstand and grabbed a foil packet and handed it to Mingyu before crawling the bed.
He tore the foil packet open and slid it down his length and looked at you as you laid on the middle of the bed waiting for him. It had been a while since the last time he had sex, so he was kind of worried he wasn’t going to last long. You spread your legs and he sat back on his hunches between your legs. He stared at you in awe of how pretty you were. He couldn’t believe that Wonwoo had gotten to experience the sight of seeing you like this quite a bit over the last week.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said lowly.
“You sure know the right things to say to a girl,” you smiled.
He slowly lined himself up with your entrance and pushed his way in, you gasped as he bottomed out and stilled with his strong hands gripping your soft hips. You moaned as he reached down to where they were connected and started to toy with your sensitive bundle of nerves. You moaned loudly and gripped the sheets, he hadn’t even moved yet and you were close to the edge.
“Mingyu, please move,” you whined, wanting to feel him more.
He smiled and leaned forward so he was hovering over you. With his lips next to your ear he whispered, “put your leg up.”
Silently you did as he asked and he slowly started to thrust into you. You reached up and held onto his back wanting him to be as close to you as possible as he thrust into you over and over. His lips were on yours for a sloppy kiss as you both moaned.
He was glad you were at your place so you both could be as loud as you wanted to without the fear of Wonwoo hearing you. With each thrust the pull of your tight walls was intoxicating. He moved at a slow steady pace. Each intent thrust earning a moan.
His pace started to pick up as your moans grew more frequent. The push and pull of his length against your velvety walls was hitting just the right spot inside you. Mingyu was slightly thicker than Wonwoo, but that didn’t stop him. He knew exactly what he was doing. He made you a whimpering mess without even trying.
“I’m close, so close,” you moaned.
“You take me so well,” he said breathlessly with his lips ghosting yours.
“Mingyu- you feel so good. I need - more.”
With one quick thrust he earns a high pitched moan.
“Good girl,” he crashes his lips into yours for a heated kiss.
“Can I come?” You whimper desperately.
His soft eyes lock on yours as his hips slowly roll his hips into yours. “You never have to ask.”
“Okay,” you moaned.
As you let go and as your walls pulled on his length, he only got about two more thrust before he hit his own high. He was still in you for a moment and kissed you as the both were riding out your highs. He slowly pulled away from you and laid on his back next to you on the bed. Reaching up you ran your hands down your face as you were trying to stop panting.
“Wow,” was all you could think to say. You and Wonwoo over the last week had quite a bit of sex, and Wonwoo was beyond amazing in bed. He always went out of his way to make sure you orgasmed before him, but something with Mingyu was different and you liked that. You couldn’t even figure out what it was, but you knew this arrangement with Mingyu was an amazing idea.
“So, is that what you and Wonwoo have been doing for the last week?” he asked, resting his hand on his chest slowly calming down.
Silently you nodded.
“Damn, I have been missing out,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
As you laid there in silence for a few moments with both you coming down from your highs. He leaned over and pulled your soft body next to his so you were curled up next to him.
You knew that you needed to make more rules about this whole situation, but at the moment you just seemed to be caught up in everything. You also didn’t know if either of the boys had a clue about how any of this would work out. You weren't sure how long you were going to be able to keep your feelings out of this either. In the last week you and Wonwoo had grown even closer than they already were. And you knew that was going to happen with Mingyu. Part of you couldn’t help but slightly worried.
“You're amazing (YN),” Mingyu whispered, bringing you out of your thoughts.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of your head. “I can’t believe I’m sleeping with both you and Wonwoo.”
“I can't believe we’re both sleeping with the same girl either, but (YN) you’re a special girl,” he said, causing you to smile.
SEVEN: WERE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS
A few days have passed since you had slept with Mingyu. Work had kept you so busy you hadn’t been able to see either of the boys. You couldn’t say you were exactly surprised when someone knocked on the door and see Wonwoo standing on the other side smiling while he was cleaning his glasses. You step aside and he follows you towards your small kitchen area.
“What’s up Wonwoo?” You asked looking around in your kitchen for you wine opener.
“You look hot today?” His warm eyes traveled up and down your soft body. “What’s under that tight skirt?” he asked suggestively.
You put your hand on your hip and looked over at him shaking your head, “please tell me you didn’t come over to my place the moment I walked in the door from work, to have sex with me?” You had a really rough day at work and at the moment just wanted to drink a whole bottle of wine and relax. The thought of having sex did sound relaxing but at the moment you wanted more than sex. You needed someone to listen to you complain and vent a little. You needed a friend more than anything.
“I’m offended,” he put his hand on his chest dramatically. Rolling your eyes, you turned back to look for the wine opener. He couldn’t help but say, “your ass looks great in that skirt.”
Turning back, you looked at him and glared, “you aren’t allowed to touch my ass after letting me fall in the shower.”
“Hey, what happened to, it’s okay Wonwoo, it's not your fault. It was my shampoo on the ground?” he asked with a little laugh. You didn’t say anything, you just continued to glare at him. “I can kiss it all better, and massage it if you want,” he winked, stepping towards you. Silently you just continued to watch him, it was moments like this that reminded you that maybe Wonwoo was too charming for his own good. Reaching up he pushed your hair behind your ear that had fallen in your face. Your glare softened as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your cheek for a soft kiss. “(YN), I’m very sorry about dropping you on your ass in the shower.”
You couldn’t help but smile as you looked at him, “you’re forgiven.”
“Thanks baby girl,” he leaned forwards smirking and pressed his lips to your for a heated kiss.
“Why did you come over?” You asked, pulling away from him.
He shrugged his shoulders as he ran his hand up and down your side, “Mingyu wants us all to hang together.”
Your cheeks flushed lightly at the mention of Mingyu’s name. You hadn’t had a chance to talk to him really after sleeping together. You wondered if he was still okay with this whole situation. So far you had only had sex once, and you wanted it to happen again, but you weren't sure how he felt about it.
“So, how was Gyu in bed?” he asked, curious to how things went down. He couldn’t lie he had thought about what it was like between you and Mingyu. After he left you alone his mind quickly wandered about what was happening between his friends.
“We’re not talking about this,” you stepped away from him.
“Why not?” he asked, walking towards you.
“Because I just don’t want to talk about it. Up until having sex with you I didn’t even like saying the word sex out loud, and I don’t want to compare the two of you with either of you.”
“You’re being just like Mingyu,” he said, annoyed.
You turned and looked at him and was once again glaring, “of course you asked Mingyu.”
“Hey I just asked him if it went okay, and all he said was yes and left the room.”
Rolling your eyes, you shook your head at Wonwoo. You didn’t want to discuss the differences between them. Both experiences were very different, but also really good in their own way.
“I don’t want to talk about what sex is like with Mingyu, with you,” you sighed, turning back to the wine bottle.
He stood behind you closely with his hips pressed up against your ass and ran his hands up and down your sides slowly. As you pour yourself a glass of wine you grind your hips back knowing that Wonwoo might have actually come over to talk. But his body wanted something else too. You were pretty sure your body was starting to want something else too.
Pulling away you turned around and leaned against the counter holding your wine glass. Wonwoo stood right in front of you staring at you intently. Silently he watched her as you drank your wine. You sat the glass on the counter and reached up and rested your hand on his beautiful cheek right below his glasses. He licked his lips intently as he stared at you with lust filled eyes.
You leaned up and pressed your lips to his neck as you started to kiss your way up to his jaw. Biting his lip, he held back a moan.
“Baby, I didn’t actually come over for sex,” he groaned trying his hardest to behave. It wasn’t a lie he actually came over to talk.
You pulled away and looked at him, “are you sure about that Wonwoo?”
Slowly he shook his head knowing that he would never pass up the opportunity to have sex with you. Reaching down you grabbed his hand and led him toward your bedroom. He didn’t say a single word as you led the way. The moment you were in your bedroom Wonwoo untucked your blouse and left you in your bra and tight skirt that hugged your ass perfectly. He dropped to his knees and stared at you enjoying the view of your soft body on display for him. Reaching behind you he dragged the zipper down on the tight skirt. Slowly he dragged the skirt down your thighs. His mouth watered at the sight of your red bra and matching cheeky lace panties.
“Please tell me you bought this just for me” he reached up and ran his hands down your thighs.
“I bought it recently. I wouldn’t say I bought it just for you,” you giggled lightly. You hadn’t had a man look at you with the same look of awe like Wonwoo was doing right in the moment. You couldn’t lie the way he was looking at you was turning you on quite a bit.
“Baby girl, say you bought for me,” he groaned before pressing his lips to your lace covered mound.
You moaned as he moved your panties to the side and started sliding his fingers up and down your entrance, “I bought it just for you.”
“All of this just for me,” he stared up at you with hooded eyes as slid a finger into your already wet core.
You held eye contact as he continued to pump his fingers into your core. Whiny moans we’re passing your lips letting him know you’re close.
“I want to be inside you, baby,” he groaned, removing his fingers from you. You gasp at him pulling out as you’re on the brink of falling apart.
He stood up quickly and started removing his clothes. You took this as your cue and removed your bra and panties and crawled onto the bed. Wonwoo quickly grabbed a condom and rolled it down his length.
Laying on your bed you spread your legs inviting him in. Crawling across the bed he settled between your legs and leaning forward his lips connected to yours for a searing kiss. His hips thrust into yours slowly as your lips continued to move together. Your hands gripped his back as their hips kept meeting with each thrust. His lips moved from your lips down the base of your neck leaving a trail of wet kisses. Gently he nipped at the skin where your neck met your shoulder.
Your hands moved from his tone back down to his butt, gripping his skin trying to keep him close to you. With each thrust the coil in your stomach tightens more and more.
“I like when you wear your glasses when we fuck,” you moaned.
“I need them to see you,” he laughs before thrusting harder.
You moaned his name and let him know you were growing close to the edge. With his brown eyes locked on you he told you to let go. Rolling your head back you moaned his name as you hit your high.
Gasping as you rode out your high Wonwoo thrust into her a few more times before hitting his own high. His lips connected to yours as you shared a sloppy kiss. Rolling off of your soft body he laid on his side staring at you as you stared at the ceiling completely blissed out.
Reaching over he laced his fingers with yours and gently squeezed your hand. Looking over at him you couldn’t help but smile at him.
“You’re so pretty,” you whispered, still attempting to catch your breath.
The smile that was plastered across his face grew even more, “I don’t think a girl has ever told me I was pretty before.”
“Well more people should tell you how pretty you are, Jeon Wonwoo,” you smiled.
“(Y/n) you’re so beautiful,” he squeezed your hand once again.
You laid in your bed for about a half hour when Wonwoo left to go back to his and Mingyu’s apartment so you could get ready without being distracted.
EIGHT - WHO ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH?
Sitting at the kitchen table Wonwoo was telling some random story about Mingyu getting wasted in college. Mingyu looked down at the table with blushing cheeks, you couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at Mingyu embarrassment. Reaching under the table you squeezed Mingyu’s thigh capturing his attention. Looking off to the side he saw you smirking at him.
You both looked over at Wonwoo who was still talking about pouring Mingyu into bed when he was black out drunk.
“I think we have all had those moments,” you said, making Mingyu feel better. “One time when I was black out drunk I smacked my ex boyfriend.”
“I bet he deserved it,” Mingyu said, speaking up.
“Oh yeah the guy was an asshole,” you let out a soft laugh.
“What is the game plan for tonight?” Wonwoo asked.
“We could always go down to the bar tonight. A couple of the teachers at my school are going to be the bar down on second street,” you said.
“I would be down with going to the bar,” Mingyu said, placing his hand on top of yours under the table.
Shrugging his shoulders, Wonwoo said, “I’m down.”
-
The three of you caught a cab and headed down to the bar on second street. You walked inside and found a couple of the teachers that you worked with at a table against the wall. You headed over to the table all her coworkers were at. Wonwoo and Mingyu walked over to the bar to get drinks. Wonwoo leaned against the bar and watched as you were laughing about something across the room.
“Gyu, I think we’re in trouble when it comes to (YN).”
Mingyu nodded knowing that his friend was right. He knew deep down inside this couldn’t just be a casual thing.
“I don’t think I have ever known a girl like her,” Mingyu said. You were something else, you’re pretty, funny, nice, and neither of the boys could seem to get over it.
They grabbed their drinks and walked over to where you were with all your coworkers. Mingyu handed you a cranberry and vodka and put his arm over your shoulder as you introduced the boys to your coworkers. The group were all talking and laughing. Mingyu stayed by your side for a while before Wonwoo and two of her male co workers Chan and Seungkwan dragged him off to play a game of pool.
It wasn’t long before Wonwoo dragged Mingyu away from you to join the game. You watched for a short period before leaving the boys to their game.
Walking over you sat down in the booth next to your coworker Honey who was one of your good friends you worked with. Honey sipped her drink and looked over at you wondering what was going on.
“So are you sleeping with Mingyu who can’t keep his hands off you or are you sleeping with Wonwoo who can’t seem to keep his eyes off you?”
You sipped your drink wondering how you could get out of answering this question. You could easily just say nothing is going on. The thing is, you and honey were pretty close and you didn’t want to lie to her.
“I’m sleeping with both of them,” you said softly, hoping nobody other than honey would hear you.
Honey’s eyes went wide and she smacked your thigh in shock, “no fucking way?”
“Yep,” you said before taking another sip of your drink.
“So do you guys like have threesomes all the time?” Honey asked dying to know the dirty details.
Shaking your head you couldn’t believe you were actually having this conversation, “no we don’t have threesomes, but I’m sleeping with both of them.”
“Damn girl that’s pretty hot.”
Looking over to the pool table you found Mingyu holding the pool stick and staring at you. You gave him a smirk before looking back at honey. “It’s something I never thought I would do.”
“So are you worried about falling in love with one of them?” Honey asked.
Slowly you nodded, “I’m terrified that’s going to happen, but for some reason I think this is a good idea.” Looking back across the room you found Wonwoo now staring at you. “Why don’t we go watch the boys play pool?”
Honey and you walked over to where the boys were playing pool. Wonwoo wrapped his arm over your shoulder and held you close to his body.
Biting your lips you looked up at him smiling, he leaned over and pressed his lips to your temple and whispered in your ear, “you look really good.”
Since this had started between you and Wonwoo never acted like a couple other than when you were alone. You couldn’t lie you were a fan of the affection he was giving you. Mingyu was the one who had no issue holding your hand or touching you while they were out.
He pulled away from you when it was his turn and you walked over to Mingyu who was a couple feet away. You elbowed him gently and he smiled at you.
As the night went on you all had a blast hanging out with your coworkers. Walking into your apartment building. The boys walked you to your door and they both kissed the top of your head and wished you goodnight before they headed to their apartment. They walked inside and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
“I’m shocked you didn’t go into her apartment with her,” Mingyu said before taking a drink of water.
“I slept with her today when I went and saw her, I assumed you were going to go home with her. I thought you two might have some stuff you want to talk about,” Wonwoo said.
Knitting his eyebrows together, Mingyu stared at his best friend, “Wonwoo, are you sure this is a good idea?”
Shrugging he said, “it might not be, but it might be worth the risk.”
Wonwoo smiled and patted his best friend on the shoulder, “I’m going to bed, why don’t you go see her?”
Mingyu stood in the kitchen for a moment wondering if he should just go to bed. Letting out a heavy sigh he walked out of his apartment and walked over next door. Hesitantly he knocked. He stood at the door with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets. The door opened and you stood in front of him with her hair pulled away from your face and wearing nothing more than an oversized shirt and a pair of panties. Capturing his lip between his teeth he stared at you for a long moment silently.
“Hey Mingyu,” your voice was soft.
You hadn’t really spent any one on one time since you had slept together. You were surprised when you opened the door and found Mingyu standing on the other side. When you heard the knock on the door you expected to find Wonwoo on the other side.
“Are you okay with this happening again?” Mingyu asked, stepping towards you.
Silently you nodded.
Without another word he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. His strong hand rested on your cheek as your lips moved together. His other hand rested on your soft hip and walked you backward slowly inside your apartment. Pulling away from you he reached down and laced his fingers with yours and led you towards the bedroom.
Standing in your room he pulled his shirt off. You stripped off your shirt and pulled off your panties. You stood naked in front of him watching as he worked on taking his jeans off.
Once you were both naked your lips connected again for a heated kiss. Mingyu only pulled away to grab a condom.
Laying on your back you spread your legs as he sat on his hunches. He pumped his length a few times before lining up with your entrance. His hands gripped your hips as he moved. His thrust were slow but deliberate. Your hands gripped the bed sheets as you moaned loudly. Leaning forward he palmed one of your breasts as his lips connected to you. Moaning into his mouth as his thrust grew sloppier.
There were many differences between Wonwoo and Mingyu. One of them being Mingyu effortlessly made you feel delicate. When Wonwoo was with you, he made you feel like he couldn’t get enough of you.
Mingyu’s soft lips moved against yours as his fingers glided across your delicate skin.
Slow thrust earned echoing moans. The tightening coil in your stomach had you desperate. “I’m close,” you moan, reaching between you. Desperately you started to touch your clit.
He pulled his lips away from you and stared into your eyes as the both you were panting as both your their highs were near.
It only took a few more thrust before you fell apart together. One hand gripped your blush colored sheets while the other tangled in his dark hair.
His forehead rests against yours slowly opening his eyes. Pulling away he couldn’t help but smile. Pulling away from you he quickly discarded his used condom.
As you both rode out your highs you laid curled up against him with your head rested on his chest as his strong hand stroked your side. Mingyu had a way of making you feel safe.
“Are you allowed to spend the night?” You didn’t want him to leave.
“I’m not sure exactly what the rules are here,” he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of your head.
“Stay the night please, I want to cuddle,” you whispered looking up at him. You weren’t ready to say goodbye to him.
He nodded and smiled, “alright I’ll stay.”
NINE: THE SUNSETS IN YOUR EYES
-Four Months Later-
Mingyu was away for the weekend on a business trip and you had spent basically the whole day with Wonwoo. You went to your favorite diner that was down the street and got breakfast together and on the way back they picked up some coffee to take back to the apartment.
It was a calm summer afternoon as you were sitting in Wonwoo and Mingyu’s living room. Wonwoo was relaxing on the tan colored sofa that was sat across from the tv with his legs kicked up on the coffee table. You were laying down comfortably on the couch with your head resting on Wonwoo's lap. Your bright eyes were fixed on the tv that was playing the third episode in a row of How I Met Your Mother. Wonwoo was half paying attention to the TV while he was partially focused on twirling pieces of your hair around his fingers. You have been in this position since Wonwoo had turned on the first episode and you hadn’t really moved other than for you to take a quick trip to the bathroom.
“Do people actually like Ted Mosby?” Wonwoo asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between you.
“I mean I personally don’t,” you say with a soft laugh. “I mean he’s kind of an asshole, and pretty selfish.”
“He’s really selfish,” he said.
“I mean lets be honest, why would you be with Ted when Marshall is there,” you said looking up at him.
“You’re right Marshall is pretty awesome,” he said before he leaned down and kissed your nose gently.
“Are you annoyed by me laying on you yet?” You asked rolling over so that you were laying on your back staring up at him.
Shaking his head he let out a soft chuckle, “no.”
“Mingyu is supposed to be home Thursday so we can finally have another wine Friday,” he said as twirled another piece of your hair around his finger again.
“Well you two might have to start wine Friday without me.” He knit his eyebrows confused by your comment. “It’s my sister’s birthday that day so I won’t be home until after nine,” you reached up and rested your hand on his cheek.
“You don’t talk about your family much,” he said, realizing that you were never the type of person to talk about yourself too often. “Can you tell me about them?” He asked.
“Well my parents got divorced when I was eleven and there’s not much to tell about my father. He made it clear when he left that he didn’t want much to do with my mom, my sister and I. My mom is a strong woman. She raised us as a single parent until I was about sixteen when she started dating my now step dad Jack. He’s a nice guy who always treated my sister and I really well. Chaewon is two years younger than me and Jack is really the only father figure she’s known.”
Reaching up he rested his hand on top of your, “is your sister anything like you?”
“My sister is way more confident than me, she’s also a spitfire according to my mother,” you said with a soft laugh. You tried to play it off as a joke, but you had some insecurities when it came to being compared to your little sister. You loved her sister dearly and would do anything for her, but you had grown up hearing you were cute, while everyone talked about how beautiful your sister was.
“(YN) what do you mean? You are confident as hell?” He asked.
You shook your head, “I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin, and that probably has to do with the fact that I have been compared to my sister almost all my life.”
“I would bet all the money in the world that your sister has nothing on you. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met inside and out, and I’m barely able to keep my hands off your beautiful body.”
Your cheeks burned and suddenly you felt like crying because of his kind words. You had never dated anyone who went out of their way to tell you how beautiful they thought you were. Other than Mingyu who would also reassure you that you’re beautiful.
“You haven’t met my sister,” you whispered.
“I don’t have to,” he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours for a soft kiss.
It was at times like this you couldn’t understand how you got lucky enough to have both Mingyu and Wonwoo in her life. For some reason Wonwoo seemed to know just the right things to say to you, and how to push away all your insecurities. You rolled onto your side to look over at the TV that was playing another episode of How I Met Your Mother. Wonwoo rested his hand on your arm and gently started rubbing it as his eyes stayed trained on you. He wasn’t even paying a little bit of attention to what was on TV. Biting his bottom lip he couldn’t help the feeling in his chest as he watched you.
“Wonwoo thank you,” you whispered as your eyes brimmed with tears.
“For what?” He asked with his eyes still locked on the side of your head.
“For letting me know that I matter,” you whispered with a shaky voice.
“You’ve always mattered to me, and you’ll always matter to me no matter what.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the side of your head. This was the first time that he had seen you this vulnerable and he wanted you to realize how special you are to him.
You laid in the same spot for another episode, you tried to focus on the episode and shake away the feeling in your chest while Wonwoo couldn’t even tell you what was going on in the episode. His eyes barely left the girl who was still laying in his lap. Before you knew it both your stomachs were growling letting you know it was time to eat dinner.
Moving off of Wonwoo’s lap you sat next to him on the couch and looked over at him with a soft smile on your face, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”
Normally Wonwoo would have made a joke about being starving for you, but there was a shift between you after your conversation. “Are we thinking we should take out, or maybe we could go downtown and get dinner together?”
“Are you asking me on a date?” You joked.
He shrugged his shoulders, “would you actually go on a date with me?”
Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, “is that allowed?”
“Why not?”
A smile formed on your face, “I would like that.”
“Okay let’s go then,” he stood up and held his hand out.
Taking his hand you stood up, “should I change?”
Shaking his head he led her towards the door where their shoes were. You both put on your shoes and Wonwoo led you out of the apartment. You walked down the street as the sun was beginning to go down hand in hand. Wonwoo kept looking over at you and he couldn’t help but see how beautiful you looked during golden hour. You looked as if you were glowing, especially as you wore a smile on your face.
You walked about a mile before you stopped in front of a café that was across the street from a park that had a beautiful view of the sunset.
“How about we get some food to go and sit at the park?” He asked.
“That would be wonderful.”
You walked inside and ordered some sandwiches and salad and quickly headed across the street and found a park bench that was near the edge of a pond. You sat next to each other watching the sunset eating. Wonwoo couldn’t help but keep looking over at you as you seemed focused on the sunset.
“Nobody has ever taken me out on a sunset picnic before?”
“Something tells me you have been dating the wrong men,” he reached over and rested his hand on your thigh.
“Before I started this whole thing with you and Mingyu I didn’t exactly have men bang on my door to take me out let alone sleep with me.” You paused and looked over at Wonwoo, “I took a really big leap out of my comfort zone starting this whole thing with you guys. With me sex and feeling have always gone hand in hand, and honestly keeping my feelings out of this is hard.”
Wonwoo closed his eyes, shaking the feeling in his chest. He was afraid to speak, that if he opened his mouth he might say something that he probably shouldn’t say. “I know I was probably crazy to agree to start this whole thing with both you boys, but it’s done nothing but help my confidence.
Looking straight towards the sun that was setting he was fighting the urge to say something that he shouldn’t say to you, “I feel like I’m a different person when it comes to you.”
Glancing over at him you wondered exactly what he meant by that, “is that a good thing or bad thing?”
“It’s a good thing,” he smiled, staring at the sunset.
“Do you ever look back at things that have happened and wished you could change them?” You asked, still staring at him.
Looking at you he stared into your bright eyes, “all the goddamn time.” In that moment there were a lot of things he wished he could have done differently. He wished he would have acted on his attraction for you long ago. He wished that he could have kept his heart out of this, and he wished that he wouldn’t have let his best friend get involved in this. “What would you change?” He asked.
“I would have told myself long ago that I need to love myself, and probably would have kissed you long before our first solo wine night,” you said with a soft laugh.
You stayed at the park until the sun was fully set and walked back to the apartment building with Wonwoo’s arm thrown over your shoulder holding you close while your arm was wrapped around his waist. Everything between you felt so easy, and Wonwoo knew that was for a reason. As they got to your floor of both of your apartments you went to walk off to your apartment when Wonwoo reached down and grabbed your hand. “stay the night?”
A crooked smile formed on your face as you nodded. Wonwoo led you into his apartment and off towards his room. Once in his room you stood at the edge of the bed wondering if this was when he was going to work on seducing you. He never asked you to stay the night unless you planned on having sex. Wonwoo walked off to his dresser and pulled out your pajama shirt you had left in his room a few weeks ago. You reached out and grabbed it and watched as he removed his shirt and jeans. Once he was down to his boxers you waited for him to remove them but was surprised when he reached into his dresser and pulled out a pair of gray lounge pants and put them on. You stared at him, still completely dressed, almost confused.
He walked over and pressed his lips to your temple and said, “I need a cuddle buddy tonight.” He walked over and sat down on the bed.
You removed your sundress and bra and pulled on your sleep shirt Wonwoo had given you. In nothing but an oversized shirt and panties you crawled into bed next to Wonwoo. Laying on your side you looked over at him knowing that you felt something more for him then you should. You were in love with him and you were a fool for feeling that way.
Wonwoo laid down and reached over pulling you close to him. Your soft body curled up against him. With your head resting on his chest it didn’t take long before you were sound asleep. It took Wonwoo a little longer to fall asleep as he held you. He couldn’t help the sense of guilt he had as you laid in bed together.
TEN: I MISSED YOU
As the sun was rising Mingyu walked into the apartment. He peeked his head into Wonwoo’s rooming expecting to find the room empty, but was surprised when he found you lying in bed sound asleep fully dressed with Wonwoo. Quietly he closed the door and headed off to his room. As he laid in bed he couldn’t help but be a little jealous of his best friend.
After waking up to find that Mingyu was home from his trip you had breakfast with him and Wonwoo and headed home to get ready for the day. You barely made it into your living room when Mingyu knocked on your door.
Walking into your apartment he stood there for a moment before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours for a needy kiss. The whole time Mingyu was away he thought of you often. Ever since you had first slept together you never seemed to leave his mind.
“Did you maybe want a cup of coffee?” You asked.
He nodded his head and followed you to the kitchen area. Mingyu sat at the kitchen table as you worked on making a pot of coffee. He loved watching you move around the kitchen. You were dressed in her usual sundress and barefoot. You were humming something as you moved around.
“How was your trip?” You asked as you brought two cups of coffee over to the table.
“It went great,” he smiled, taking the cup from your hand. “What did you and Wonwoo do while I was gone?”
You took a sip of your coffee and sat your cup down before saying, “we just hung out and watched How I Met Your Mother.”
You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face as you thought about the day you had spent with Wonwoo.
“That sounds like a lot more fun, then sitting in a meeting like I was doing,” Mingyu said as he slowly brought his cup up towards his mouth.
“Well we missed you.”
Mingyu had a feeling in his gut that maybe you didn’t miss him as much as you thought you did. He knew that you cared about him, but he also knew that you cared about Wonwoo a lot too.
“I missed you too (YN).”
You sat there drinking your coffee talking more about Mingyu’s trip. You were really enjoying your time you were getting to spend with him. Walking your empty cups to the sink you turned and said, “I was just getting ready to take a bath.”
“Do you mind if I join?”
“Of course not.”
Taking his hand you led him off to your room. Standing by your dresser you slowly started to strip away your clothes. Standing there naked in front of him you gave him a small smile before heading off into the bathroom. Mingyu removed his own clothing and then followed you into the bathroom. He found you filling the tub up with warm water and pouring bath salts in vanilla scented soap.
Mingyu stepped forward and slowly got into the warm water. You stepped into the water and leaned back so your soft body was pressed against Mingyu’s toned body. Your head was resting against his shoulder with your eyes closed enjoying the feeling of his closeness. Mindlessly he drew circles on your thigh. You felt so peaceful leaning against him. Biting your bottom lip, you smiled as he softly said, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
You had spent all of the day before with Wonwoo, and that day had left you feeling very confused. But you couldn’t lie, you missed Mingyu quite a bit while he was gone. Over the last few weeks you had to constantly remind yourself not to catch feelings for either of the men you were sleeping with. After the day you spent with Wonwoo yesterday you weren’t sure your heart could stay out of this.
They spent about ten minutes in that bath before Mingyu’s lips moved to the base of your neck distracting you from your thoughts as he started placing wet kisses across your skin. A moan passed your lips as his hands moved up and gently started to massage your breast. Leaning your head back you closed your eyes taking in the feeling of his hands on your skin. Slowly you rolled your hips back against Mingyu's growing length. Biting your bottom lip you held back a loud moan.
“I need you,” he whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
Silently you stood up and got out of the bath. You reached for a towel and turned to watch Mingyu get out of the tub, you could tell by his growing erection that he wanted you. Standing in the bathroom you dried off with lust filled eyes staring at each other.
“You are so pretty,” he walked towards you and pushed a piece of your wet hair behind your ear.
Taking your hand he led her off to the bedroom. With his lips pressed to your he walked you backwards until the back of your legs hit the bed. Slowly he leaned you back and you laid on the bed staring at him with hungry eyes. Crawling onto the bed he pressed his lips to yours once again and your lips moved together. Your hands were wrapped around his neck. Holding him close to you as their lips danced. He left you with a feeling of butterflies as his lips dragged from your mouth down to your neck. Closing your eyes you bit your bottom lip attempting to not moan.
Pushing on his chest and he removed his lips from you and looked up at you with lust filled eyes. His lips were parted as he stared at you silently. You took a moment to just take in his closeness. Your hand moved from his chest up to his neck. The world seemed to stilled for a moment as you stared at each other. Your eyes were locked on each other for a long moment.
“You're so amazing,” his voice was low.
You paused for a moment before saying, “how do you always know the right thing to say?”
“I always just tell you what I honestly think,” he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead. His lips stayed there for a long moment and you closed your eyes taking in his closeness.
Pulling away from you he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before he looked over at you who was staring at him. You moved and crawled over to him and sat on his thighs. Your finger drew soft circles on your chest. He couldn’t help but smile at you.
“Baby you’re so pretty.”
Leaning down you pressed wet kisses across his collar bones and moved down his chest. As your lips moved down stomach he reached to stop you before his lips could get anywhere near his length.
“Lay back down baby,” he said lowly.
Slowly you crawled off of him and laid back down on the bed. He sat up and reached into the nightstand to grab a foil packet before moving so he was sitting on his hunched between your legs. His hands moved to part your thighs even more. Leaning forward he pressed his lips to yours for a sear kissing. Pulling his lips away from your he gave you a lopsided grin as he tore the foil packet open. He rolled the rubber down his length. His hands gripped your soft sides as he slowly slid into you. A low gasp pasted your lips as he filled you fully.
He leaned forward so he was resting on his arms hovering over her. Your leg was swung over his waist holding him close to her as his hips did slow thrust. Your hands held his face as your eyes stayed locked onto each other’s. Your bodies moved together in perfect sync.
The coil in you stomach tightened as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against your. Low groans past his lips as his hips pick up pace slightly. Through parted lips soft moans escape. Little was said between you as their bodies moved together.
As your hips continued to meet with everything slow, Mingyu pushed you closer and closer to the edge. He dropped down to his elbows so he was closer to you. Leaning down he pressed his lips to yours for a sloppy kiss pushing you over the edge. A gasp passed your lips as you rolled your head back. Mingyu got a few thrust in before he hit his own high. His body was clasped on top of you, his head was resting on your breast. Your hands reached up and you massaged his scalp enjoying how close you were.
They laid like that for a few minutes before Mingyu rolled off of you and disposed of the condom. You laid on your bed, both of you staring at the ceiling quietly. The longer you laid there the heavier Mingyu’s chest seemed to feel. Things between the two of you felt different and Mingyu knew you needed to talk about it.
“(Y/N),” his voice was shaky and unsure.
“Yeah?” You looked over at him and gave him a soft smile.
“Do you love Wonwoo?” Mingyu needed to know. He had noticed how close you had grown and could tell by the way that Wonwoo looked at you and how he talked about you that Wonwoo felt more for you then he was willing to admit.
You took a deep breath trying to figure out what exactly you were feeling, “I think so.”
Your eyes suddenly started to brim with tears. Mingyu nodded his head knowing that all good things had to come to an end.
“He’s a really great guy,” Mingyu said.
You rolled onto your side so you were facing Mingyu who was still laying on his back staring up at the ceiling.
“I think I love you too,” your voice sounded desperate.
“I think I got involved in something I knew was going to hurt all three of us. I was selfish, and I should have just let you and Wonwoo keep this up. If I wouldn’t have never gotten involved you wouldn’t have to sound so guilty about being in love with Wonwoo.”
The room suddenly felt as if it was spinning and you felt sick to your stomach. Warm tears started to slide down your cheeks.
“Mingyu.”
“(YN), we knew when this started somehow someone was going to end up hurt. I think that Wonwoo and you could have something special,” he reached over and laced his fingers with your and gently squeezed your hand.
“Are you ending things with me?” You asked as tears slid down your cheek.
Slowly he nodded his head, “(Y/N) I think I love you too and honestly I can't keep my feelings out of this.”
You took a deep breath as tears continued to slide down you cheek, “We can work this out.”
“(YN) we can’t, if we don’t stop now someone is really going to get hurt.”
“Mingyu but this hurts,” you begged. You weren’t ready to say goodbye to the man that was laying in the bed next to you. Even with all of your confused feelings you knew that she cared deeply about Mingyu. Even though you were trying to deny it. You knew deep down inside you loved Mingyu.
“I know this hurts, it’s hurting me too. I just want you to be happy, and I want Wonwoo to be happy too,” he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead.
“I don’t think anyone gets a happy ending here,” you said softly as he started crawling out of bed.
“(YN) this is for the better.”
He got dressed and walked back over to the bed where you were sitting wrapped up in the blankets watching him with tear filled eyes. You weren't ready for this to be over and neither was Mingyu, but he was trying to do the right thing.
Standing next to the bed the twisting guilt filled feeling is almost too much to handle. His sad eyes stared at you for a moment before he pressed his lips to the top of your head.
“No matter what I want you to know that I still think you’re the most amazing woman ever.” That was his goodbye, he was leaving the girl he fell for trying his hardest to be selfless.
His feet carried him as he left the apartment and headed back over to his and Wonwoo’s place. Mingyu walked straight over to Wonwoo’s room. He found his best friend sitting on his bed with his laptop. Wonwoo looked up at the sound of Mingyu lightly knocking on the wall.
“What’s up?” Wonwoo asked.
“I ended things with (Y/N).”
Wonwoo’s eyes went wide as he tried to process what Mingyu had just said to him.
“What?”
“It’s clear you’re in love with her, and to be honest I think I am too. I want you to have a real chance with her.”
Wonwoo knit his eyebrows together as he stared at him, “Mingyu I don’t love her.”
“We both know that’s not true,” Mingyu said leaning against the door frame.
Wonwoo stared at his friend, unsure of what he should even say to him. Over the last few weeks each time he saw you he seemed to grow even more confused on what exactly he was feeling. He had told himself over and over again that he wasn’t allowed to fall in love, but now that his best friend was standing in his room telling him how he felt he wasn’t sure if he could lie to himself any longer.
ELEVEN: ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL
It had only been a day since Mingyu had ended things with you, and in that time Wonwoo had kept to himself. He was completely unsure of what he was feeling or even what he should do. He stood in the shower just blankly staring at the wall, as a million things went through his mind. He thought back to the times that he had showered with you. And how you would stand there talking while he was washing your hair. He thought of how your bright eyes would stare back at him. You always seemed to show exactly what you were thinking.
Jeon Wonwoo had never been in love, and he wasn’t sure if the stabbing feeling in his chest was the feeling of guilt of betraying his best friend or the fact that he was indeed in love with a girl next door. He felt so guilty for hurting Mingyu, he knew when he started this with you that Mingyu liked you.
The cool water continued to fall on him as his eyes looked down at his feet. Reaching forward he turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around his waist.
Sitting on the edge of his bed he placed his face in his hands and let out a heavy sigh. He felt sick to his stomach as he started getting dressed.
Once he was fully dressed he walked into the living room to find Mingyu sitting on the couch with a sad look on his face. Mingyu looked over at him with his sad eyes and attempted to give him a smile.
“Where are you going?” Mingyu asked.
“I need to talk to (Y/N),” just saying your name made him feel guilty.
“Wonwoo, she's a good girl and you could have something great.”
Mingyu was trying to encourage Wonwoo to continue his relationship, but he knew Wonwoo wouldn’t listen to him. He could tell by the look on his best friend's face that he was sad and riddled with guilt. Mingyu didn’t want Wonwoo to feel guilty. He didn’t feel like Wonwoo had done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault that you had fallen for him, and that Mingyu had fallen for you.
Wonwoo nodded before heading out of the apartment. Walking next door he took a deep breath before he knocked on the door. As you opened the front door he could tell by your puffy eyes that you had been crying. You gave him a sad smile before stepping to the side.
You had a feeling that Wonwoo didn’t come over to make things better. Walking into your apartment he followed you into your kitchen. Silently you poured him a cup of coffee and sat down next to him.
For a solid two minutes neither of you said anything to each other, you just silently drank your coffee. The sound of you clearing your throat broke the screaming silence.
“I’m assuming Mingyu told you he ended things with me?” Your hand clutched your large coffee cup. Silently he nodded his head unsure of even what to say to you. “He asked me if I loved you,” you felt sick thinking about the night before.
“What did you say?” Wonwoo asked, finally speaking for the first time.
“I told him I think I do,” tears once again started to brim your eyes as you confessed your feelings.
He looked down at the table as if he was suddenly afraid to look at the girl in front of him. Placing his elbow on the table he rested his face in hand and took a deep breath. He was so unsure of everything he was feeling.
“I think it’s pretty obvious you don’t feel the same way,” tears started slowly sliding down your cheek. His silence was heartbreaking. You had managed to fall in love with two men, one who wasn’t going to ever love you back and one who loved you but didn’t want to be with you.
“Mingyu is my best friend, and the closest thing to a brother that I have, and I hurt him,” he sighed, feeling guilty that he hurt the most important person in his life. “I have gone my whole life from the moment I met him doing everything I can to be the best friend I can be, and I fucked up.”
You closed your eyes and winced knowing that you were the reason he fucked up.
“I’m sorry (YN),” his eyes finally looked up to see your teary eyes.
Tears slid down your cheeks, you opened your mouth to speak and suddenly nothing came out. You didn’t even know what you should say to Wonwoo.
“How much I want to keep things going between us, I can’t do that to Mingyu. He means too much to me to do anything that could hurt him more than I already did,” he reached up with a shaky hand and pushed away the tears that kept sliding down your cheek.
“Okay,” your voice was low and shaky.
Wonwoo pulled his hands away from you and stood up and stared at you for a long moment. Biting his bottom lip he held back telling you that he didn’t want to do this. Walking out of your apartment he couldn’t let himself look back to see you crying.
Shutting the door he took a deep breath and leaned against the door. He wanted desperately to run back inside and tell you he didn’t want to end things but he couldn’t do that.
Sitting there at your kitchen table you couldn’t hold back the sob that broke in your chest. You knew when Wonwoo came to your door that you had not only lost Mingyu, but you were going to lose Wonwoo too. Closing your eyes you tried to hold back the tears that just kept falling.
Walking off into you bed she crawled under the cover and just laid there crying until the evening. You hated feeling like this, but you couldn’t help it.
Without a second thought she walked over to your closet and pulled out her overnight bag and worked on packing enough clothes for a week. Zipping your bag up you headed out of your apartment with your purse on one shoulder and your duffle bag on the other. Entering the car garage you went to your car and tossed your bag in the backseat.
You drove the two hour drive up north to where your sister lived. You didn’t bother texting or calling her. You just knocked on your sister's door. It was eight at night and your sister Chaewon was very confused when she found her older sister standing on the other side of the door with puffy eyes.
“(YN)?”
“I got my heart broken,” you cried as she dropped your duffle bag on the floor.
Reaching forward your sister pulled you into her chest and rubbed you back as you continued to cry. Can’t remember the last time you cried this much.
“Who broke your heart?” Chaewon asked.
You hadn’t told your sister about what had been going on with Wonwoo and Mingyu. You hadn’t really told anyone what was going on with the boys. You followed Chaewon inside to the kitchen where your sister made you a cup of tea, and then you went on to tell her all about Mingyu and Wonwoo and what happened.
Chaewon couldn’t lie, everything you told her seemed crazy, but she was never going to judge you for sleeping with both men, or falling in love with both of them.
“Why didn’t you and Wonwoo keep things up?” Chaewon was confused on why things needed to end between you.
“Because he didn’t want to hurt Mingyu more than he did,” you sighed knowing that you had gotten between two best friends that were basically brothers.
“I was so stupid I needed to keep my heart out of this, and for some reason I couldn’t help but fall for both of them,” she cursed. “If I could of just kept this strictly about sex this wouldn’t of been a problem, but I couldn’t keep my stupid heart out of this.”
“Sweetie, anyone would have fallen in love with them.”
You let out a heavy, “the last week with Wonwoo things had just seemed different. We were spending more time together and it wasn’t all about us having sex. I literally stay over with him just to cuddle and sleep together. We didn’t even have sex.”
“It sounds like Wonwoo might have feelings for you too,” Chaewon said.
You shrugged, “I thought he might, but from what both Wonwoo and Mingyu had told me Wonwoo doesn’t do relationships. He doesn’t exactly believe in love, he is the kind of guy that just likes to have sex.”
You couldn’t help but feel even more stupid, you knew how Wonwoo was but it didn’t stop you from feeling getting involved.
“Why don’t you stay here for a while. You don’t have to worry about going back to school for another month. You can totally stay here the whole time if you want,” Chaewon said, knowing that you couldn’t just go back to seeing your neighbors every day.
“I can’t stay here for a whole month, but I can stay for a week. I packed enough to be gone for a week,” you sighed. You knew sooner than later you were going to have to see Mingyu and Wonwoo again, but you needed at least a week to try to move on.
“That works perfectly,” Chaewon smiled.
Chaewon helped you move your stuff into the guest room. You took a shower and then went into the kitchen with your sister to make some cookies together before you decided to eat those cookies with some popcorn while watching a movie together. You sat on the couch together watching St. Elmo’s Fire, both of their favorite movies from the eighties. This was some much needed time that you needed with your sister.
TWELVE: TIME TO HEAL
When morning came around you sat at the kitchen table with your sister as she was making you banana pancakes. You had a cup of coffee in your hand as you said, “what’s the plan for today?”
“Hyungwon wanted to come over tonight for dinner if you’re fine with that?”
Hyungwon was Chaewon's boyfriend that you had always loved. You thought Hyungwon was the best possible guy for your sister. Chaewon was a kind and big hearted person, and Hyungwon was the exact same way. He would do anything in the world to make Chaewon happy.
“Of course Hyun can come over, but tell him he has to bring me my favorite Apple pie from the diner by his house,” you let out a soft laugh.
“You know he’ll bring that in a heartbeat for you,” Chaewon said as she put a plate with a stack of banana pancakes down.
“Did you tell him why I’m here?” You were curious to know if Chaewon had told Hyungwon about your relationship with both Mingyu and Wonwoo.
Chaewon shook her head as she sat across from you, “I just told him you got your heartbroken by your neighbor, I didn’t give him any details.”
You couldn’t help but feel slightly relieved, you didn’t really want everyone knowing about your relationship with both boys.
You ate breakfast together and then sat in the living room together watching your favorite show to watch together. You had a bowl of popcorn sitting between you as Chaewon clicked play on the next episode. Chaewon was the perfect distraction to keep your mind off of Wonwoo and Mingyu.
When it got closer to dinner time, Hyungwon arrived with an apple pie from your favorite diner. You sat at the kitchen table eating a slice of pie as Chaewon and Hyungwon worked on cooking dinner. Hyungwon had asked you how you were doing but didn’t ask you anything about getting your heart broken.
You all ate dinner together and then decided to watch a movie together. Hyungwon and Chaewon curled up on the couch together and you sat on the other side of the couch wrapped in a blanket. They decided to watch Catch Me If You Can. As soon as the movie ended, you headed off to your room to give Chaewon and Hyungwon some alone time.
As you laid in bed you couldn’t help but miss the boys. You had rarely slept alone much since everything had started up with the boys. The spot on the bed next to you felt cold and empty. You fought back tears as you closed your eyes before falling asleep.
THIRTEEN: I’M REALLY SORRY
You had been gone for a week and Wonwoo was very aware of it. He tried to not think about you constantly but his mind wandered back to you constantly. Everything seemed to remind him of you. He also noticed that Mingyu seemed to be distracting himself with work. Mingyu was sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop working on something, and Wonwoo stood in front of the fridge blankly staring inside, not even sure what he was looking for.
Mingyu looked over at his best friend, noticing that he was staring at nothing. He let out a heavy sigh shaking his head.
Mingyu was also very aware of the fact that you hadn’t been home in a week. He was also aware of the fact that his best friend seemed completely out of it. Mingyu knew that even if Wonwoo didn’t want to admit it he was pretty heartbroken. When Mingyu ended things with you he didn’t expect for all three of you to end up heartbroken. He thought if he stepped away that maybe the two of you would get together and not have to worry about his feelings.
Wonwoo walked off to his room not bothering to get anything from the fridge. Mingyu wasn’t sure what to do but he couldn’t deal with Wonwoo moping around.
-
You had arrived back home and you couldn’t lie you weren’t ready to see the boys. Walking up to your front door you unlocked the door and looked over when you heard your name. You glanced over to see Mingyu leaving his apartment. You both stood still staring at each other for a long moment. Mingyu went to step forward to talk to you but he stopped because he wasn’t sure what exactly to say to you.
His sad eyes locked on your sad ones. He could tell that you were as heartbroken as Wonwoo. Your bright eyes lack the gleam they normally had. Biting his bottom lip, he thought of what he should even say to you.
He wished that he could tell you that Wonwoo was miserable without you. Hell he wished that he could tell you, he was miserable without you. He knew he lost that privilege when he left you. He wished that Wonwoo hadn’t left you too. He never intended for Wonwoo to end things with you. He knew in his heart you had fallen in love with Wonwoo and he couldn’t blame you. Mingyu also knew that you had extremely strong feelings for him even if you weren’t in love. He felt like he had been put in a rock in a hard place. He had managed to put himself in a love triangle without meaning to.
“(YN) where did you go?” He finally spoke up and walked towards you.
You stood still at your door not even sure what you should say to Mingyu. You hadn’t spoken to him since he broke your heart that night. Just seeing him brought back a lot of emotions.
“I went to see my sister,” your voice was soft.
Mingyu took another step towards you and stopped a couple feet away from you. He wished things between you could go back to normal but he knew he was the one who had ruined everything.
“(YN) I’m really sorry.”
“Mingyu it’s not your fault it’s mine,” you reached for the door and opened it.
“I never meant for things to be like this.”
You had planned to walk inside but you stopped and stared at Mingyu for a long moment.
“Mingyu, let's be honest, if you didn’t end things when you did, we were both going to get even more hurt then we are now. How much I wish it wasn’t it true I don’t think I could have ever kept my heart out of this,” you let out a sigh as your eyes brimmed with tears. “Mingyu you mean a lot to me and I think you will always have a piece of my heart.” He walked towards you and stopped right in front of you.
Reaching forward he rested his hand on your cheek. He stepped closer so he was a couple inches away from you. He wished that he could tell you he wanted to take it all back but he couldn’t.
“(YN) you’ll always have a piece of mine too. I know we’re both hurt, but I need to have you in my life. Even if we’re just friends. I also need you to not give up on Wonwoo. He’s confused and he’s trying to be a good friend. I need you both to know there are no hard feelings on my part. I want you both to be happy.”
A soft smile spread across his face. You looked up at him and gave him a sad smile.
“Why can’t I be happy with you?”
“Because I know you can make Wonwoo happy,” he sighs.
“I don’t think he feels the same way for me that I feel for him, and one day I’ll be okay with that.”
“(YN)-” he wished he could convince Wonwoo to get his head out of his ass but he didn’t know if he could.
“It’s okay Mingyu,” you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his for a soft kiss.
“We were great while it lasted,” you stepped away from his touch.
“(YN) I’m here if you ever need anything and I would really love for us to be friends again.”
“Mingyu, I want more than friendship. I'm still trying to work out how to tell myself we can’t be together.”
You walked inside and Mingyu was left standing outside your apartment, wishing he could fix things between you.
Mingyu stood outside your apartment feeling more heartbroken than before. He sighed knowing that he needed to convince Wonwoo to fix things between you.
He walked back into his apartment and poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table waiting for Wonwoo to get home from work. He needed to convince him to get his head out of his ass and fix things with you immediately. In all the years he had been friends with Wonwoo he hadn’t ever seen him so broken up over ending things with a girl.
When Wonwoo finally got home from work he stepped into the kitchen and found his best friend sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him.
“What’s up Mingyu,” he said as he walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.
“Wonwoo, we need to talk,” Mingyu said, speaking up.
Wonwoo knit his eyebrows together and gave him a confused look before sitting down across from Mingyu. He opened the bottle and took a drink of the water.
“You need to talk to (YN),” Mingyu said, jumping to the point of not bothering to dance around things.
Wonwoo closed his eyes taking a deep breath before he looked down at the table with a guilty expression. He slowly shook his head, “I can’t”
“Wonwoo, I don’t think you realize that you’re in love with her. In all the years I have known you I haven’t ever seen you broken up over someone,” Mingyu stated, attempting to get Wonwoo to realize how he felt.
“Mingyu I don’t love her, love isn’t real.”
As long as they had known each other Wonwoo had always told Mingyu he didn’t believe in love. Even after his high girlfriend cheated on him, he told Mingyu he wasn’t heartbroken because according to him love wasn’t real.
“You might not think love is real, but what you feel for her is love. You aren’t the only one completely torn up over this. I talked to (YN) today and she’s just as messed up as you. Hell, I'm just as much of a mess as you are.”
Wonwoo stood up and groaned as he pushed his fingers through his hair, “Mingyu it’s pretty clear you’re in love with her, so why don’t you get together with her? Like make her your girlfriend and have something with her that is something more then sex.”
Mingyu shook his head and stood up, “Wonwoo I talked to her and it’s clear she loves you. I can’t just date her. I already made the mistake of letting her go.”
Wonwoo paced in front of Mingyu for a moment silently. It was almost as if he was at a complete loss of what to even say.
“Fix it then Mingyu!” He shouted at his best friend.
He slammed his hand on the table, “I can’t fix it, she was yours first. I don’t get to be happy here.”
“Mingyu, she was never mine. She doesn’t just love me. Why are you dismissing her feelings for you?” He pushed his fingers through his dark hair. He took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes for a moment.
“Because even though I love her, Wonwoo. I love you too. You’re the closest thing I have to a brother and you mean too much to me,” tears brim his eyes as he looks up at his best friend.
“How do we fix this?” Wonwoo sits down sighing. “Why do we both have to walk away?”
“Wonwoo, do you love her?”
“You think I love her?” He looked up at Mingyu.
“I think we both love her,” Mingyu sighs.
Slowly Wonwoo nodded his head, “I think I do love her, and I know that she loves both of us.” The world felt like it was spinning sideways to him. “Mingyu if I fix things with her. Could you fix things with her?”
“I don’t know if she would take me back,” Mingyu reaches up, pushing away his tears. “I hope you realize just because we tell her we love her doesn’t mean she’ll just want something casual again. She deserves more, she deserves a relationship.”
“Could we make that work with both of us?” Wonwoo had never thought of the possibility of them both fully getting to be with her.
“I think we both need to talk to her, it’s up to her if wants one of us at all or both of us.”
FOURTEEN: I WANT TO FIX THIS
With the bottle of wine in hand Wonwoo reached forward with a shaky hand and knocked on the door. Seconds seemed to be creeping by as he waited for you to answer the door. Mingyu rested his hand on his shoulder attempting to calm his best friend's nerves.
As the door slowly opened he took a deep breath waiting to face you. You stood in front of him with sad eyes.
“Hi,” your voice was soft and unsure.
Wonwoo didn’t know what exactly to say to you. He had tried to prepare what he wanted to tell you but all of it seemed to leave his mind the second his eyes locked with yours.
“So Mingyu says I’m in love with you. I haven’t ever been in love and to be quite honest I don’t know if love is exactly real. I know I feel things that I haven’t felt before for you. I hadn’t seen you in a week and honestly this week has been hell. I haven’t been able to think straight knowing that I lost you. I never meant to hurt you by ending things,” he rambled on, not even sure if he was even making any sense at all.
You look next to Wonwoo and sees Mingyu standing there with his hands shoved into his pockets.
“Do you think you love me?” You look up at Wonwoo's tall figure.
Wonwoo slowly nodded his head, “I feel things for you that I have never felt for another person.”
“What about you Mingyu?” You asked, speaking to the other man standing in the hallway.
“I already knew I love you,” he gives you a gentle smile.
“What made you decide to come over here?” You asked, looking up at Wonwoo.
“Mingyu told me I needed to make sure I didn’t lose you,” he sighed. “Mingyu and I don’t want to lose you.”
“Did you want to come inside?” You asked, stepping aside. The whole apartment building didn’t need to know what was going on between you.
He nodded and walked past you. Mingyu stops in front of you before walking in. “I’m sorry,” he whispers before pressing his lips to your cheek. Your eyes lock as he pulls away and you can love behind his eyes.
You led them over to the living room coach. You sat down on one end of the couch and they sat on the other end staring at you.
Wonwoo still had a million things he wanted to say to you, but he wasn’t even sure how to say them. He had never really put himself out on the line like this.
“(YN) I can’t really picture my life where you aren’t with me. This last week has been hell not being able to be with you.” Wonwoo is trying his hardest to convey how he’s feeling.
“I can't be with you if you’re going to break my heart again,” you couldn’t deal with having your heartbroken again by the man sitting across from you.
“I won't break your heart again,” he reached over and rested his hand on your thigh.
“What about you Mingyu?” You looked on the other side of Wonwoo to see Mingyu staring at you.
“I fucked up.”
“Are you still done with me,” you stood up moving so you stood in front of Mingyu.
Silently he swallows staring up at you. He stood up, taking one of your hands and resting the other on the side of your neck. Gently he dragged his thumb across your delicate skin.
“(YN) I love you,” he whispered, leaning forward resting his forehead against yours. “Please forgive me.”
“Kim Mingyu, I love you too,” leaning back you stare at him and you can’t help but smile. “Is it still over?” You don't think your heart could handle losing him again either.
“If you’ll take me back it’s not over. I won’t ever walk away again.”
He leaned forward pressing his lips to yours for a soft kiss. Both his hands hold your face as your lips move together for a heated kiss. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, missing the feeling of his lips against your.
Pulling away from you his nose rests against yours. A soft laugh passes his lips. “All this is complicated and not traditional, but just know we both love you.”
Looking over on the couch you find Wonwoo still sitting on the couch. Mingyu steps aside and you move to sit down next to the tall boy with glasses. You rest your hand on his thigh and give him a smile.
“I just need you to know that I’m new to this whole being a boyfriend thing, and I’m going to mess up sometimes, but I’m begging you not to give up on me.” He reached down and took your hand in his. “I won’t give up on you, but I need you to always talk to me and be open and honest with me.”
“I can do that,” he leaned forward so his face was a few inches away from yours.
“I love Wonwoo,” you say softly, moving forward so your lips were brushing against his.
“I think I love you too,” he pressed his lips against yours for a heated kiss. Your lips danced for a moment before Wonwoo pulled away from you and rested his forehead against yours.
“Did you both want to stay the night?” You asked not wanting to spend another night without them.
He nodded and smiled, “yes I would love to stay.”
Looking over at Mingyu he gives a soft smile and nods.
Wonwoo pulled your body close to his and they sat on the couch with you curled up next to him. His hand gently rubbed your side as your head rested on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure at that moment how he had gone a week without you. You had somehow managed to break down his walls without even trying. He wasn’t sure if Mingyu didn’t make him fix things if he would have been to get you back. The thought of you slipping through his finger hurt.
You reached for Mingyu's hands, pulling him down onto the couch next to you. You held his hand tightly as you cuddled closer to Wonwoo.
“So you both love me?” You beamed.
Mingyu leaned over, pressing his lips to the side of your neck. With his lips ghosting your skin he whispered, “I love you more than anything.”
“I believe I do too,” Wonwoo presses his lips to the top of your head.
You all sat together on the couch for probably an hour before you looked at both the boys with bright eyes and said, “can you take me to bed.”
Silently Mingyu nodded and took your hand leading you off to the bedroom. Wonwoo wasn’t far behind, taking in the sight of you two in front of him.
You stood at the foot of the bed and Mingyu slowly stripped away your clothes. Standing in front of them both completely exposed just smiling. You had spent the last week thinking you had lost Wonwoo and Mingyu forever and now here they were together confessing how they really felt. Reaching forward you worked on removing his clothing.
Standing naked in front of each other his hungry hands roamed your soft body as your lips moved together. Wonwoo leaned against the wall watching as it all unfolded in front of him with lust filled eyes.
Mingyu pulled his lips away from yours and said, “I missed you so much”
“I missed you too,” you walked away from him and moved to the bed.
You laid naked on the bed staring at the man you loved with lust filled eyes. He stared at you for a long moment. Things between you felt suddenly even more different than they ever had before. This didn’t feel like just sex like it normally did. Slowly he crawled on the bed and hovered over you. Gently he connected his lips to yours for a heated kiss. He dragged his lips from yours down the base of your neck. He left a trail of wet kisses across delicate skin. His lips kissed across each breast earning a gentle moan.
Your eyes looked over to the wall where the other man you loved was standing. “Wonwoo I need you,” you said as you reached for him. Your words did nothing to deter Mingyu who continued to kiss his way across your skin.
Pushing himself off the wall, Wonwoo made quick work of removing his clothes. Stepping towards his best friend and his girlfriend who were sprawled out on the bed in front of him.
Dragging his lips away from your soft skin, Mingyu eyes stayed locked on your. He crawled off you sitting on his hunches next to you.
Reaching into her nightstand by the bed you grabbed a foil packet and handed it to Wonwoo. He tore the packet open with his teeth and slid the rubber down his length. Laying on your back you stared at him in complete bliss that she managed to find two men who truly loved you.
Crawling on the bed he sat opposite of Mingyu, whose lips have not left your neck. Wonwoo pumps his hardened length watching.
Wonwoo leaned forward and kissed your cheek for a moment before moving his lips up to her your. “On your side baby,” he whispered with his lips brushing against your ear.
Mingyu pulled his lips away from your delicate skin and looked at his best friend. He couldn’t help but be a little unsure of what his position was in this situation.
You moved so you’re laying on your side and looked over her shoulder watching as Wonwoo moved behind you. His hand rested on your soft stomach as he slowly slid into you. Gasping as he bottomed out. He was completely still as his lips rested on your shoulder.
Leaning back and connecting your lips with a passionate kiss. Slowly he rolled his hips into you and he felt like he was home. It was almost as if you were made for him. His strong hand moved from your stomach and lifted your leg up. Hooking your leg under his arm as he continued to move into you at a slow pace.
“Mingyu, we can share,” he groans, not wanting his best friend to feel left out.
Mingyu’s eyes grow wide as he stares at the couple in front of him.
“Gyu please touch me,” you moans running your fingers across his abs. His stomach tenses as your fingers graze his hardened length.
Mindlessly he moves so he’s laying in front of you. You’re face to face. Your bottom lip is captured between her teeth as Wonwoo thrust into your velvety walls over and over.
One of Mingyu’s hands takes your breast massaging it as he kisses your jaw. Your hand grazes his length earning a moan. Reaching between you to of you pump his erection, desperately wanting to be close to both boys.
Your lips crash together, muffling the sounds of each of your moans and cries of desperation.
The air felt thick as the coil in your stomach tightened. Your pace you were stroking Mingyu picked up as you were getting closer and closer to the edge. Pulling your lips away from Mingyu you moan his name, earning a cheeky grin from him. Your head rested on Wonwoo’s chest as his hips continued to roll into you over and over again.
“Baby,” Wonwoo groaned before connecting his lips to yours for a rough kiss.
Your lips danced for a moment before you pulled away and looked at Mingyu who looked like he was on the brink of falling apart in your hand.
“Mingyu, please touch me,” you begged.
You were so close to falling apart and it wasn’t going to take much for him to push you over the edge. You had never felt as greedy in your life as you did right now. You wanted anything and everything the boys would give you.
Mingyu reached over brushing your sensitive clit with his thumb earning a whiny moan. He made quick work of playing with your sensitive bundle of nerves. Touching you just the way he knew would have you falling apart with very little effort. You continued pumping Mingyu’s length until he crumbled, moaning your name, while he painted your stomach with white ropes.
“Let go,” Wonwoo groaned with his lips ghosting yours.
With another thrust he pushed you over the edge and finally reaching the high. You couldn’t help the moans that passed your lips as he slowly rolled his hips into you a few times. It didn’t take long before he reached his own high. He dropped your leg and was still holding you close to him.
Mingyu laid on his back, his chest rising and falling coming down from his high. He looked over at the girl he loved, completely blissed out.
“I love you baby,” Wonwoo finally admitted how he felt as he held you close to him.
Laying there holding you close he hesitates letting go. He removed himself from you slowly and rolled onto his back. Laying on your back you look over at Mingyu for a moment before you smile at Wonwoo. He made a quick word of disposing of the condom and ran off to the bathroom to get a rag to clean you up.
Crawling back into the bed he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you and Mingyu completely blissed out.
“So you both love me?” You asked not being able to hold back a huge smile.
“I believe I do baby” Wonwoo reaches forward pulling your soft body close to his. “I love you.”
With your head resting on his chest you couldn’t help but feel like you had finally found happiness with Mingyu and Wonwoo. Mingyu moved over, curling his body up close to you. He placed a kiss gently on your shoulder.
“YN I love you so much,” Mingyu said.
Pulling away from Wonwoo, you laid on your side with your back once again to him. Wonwoo wasted no time spooning your soft body.
Mingyu leaned forward pressing his lips to your for a gentle kiss. Things suddenly felt so right between you all.
Things between you weren't traditional by any means. You weren’t exactly sure how things would work out, but they knew you would have to learn as you go.
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palskippah · 3 months ago
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Hi! Nimona told him to do a thumbs up (also I hope you get the reference image because I couldn't find it ajkdsad)
There's some mpreg headcanons and drawings under the cut! :D
By the way the limit of images is 30 so I had to make some longer images with comics to save space and put more drawings 😭
-Also, small continuation from the previous drawing:
(I wrote baby album but maybe it should be those albums that people keep of the pregnancy process ajskd)
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-When Ballister first started showing, he was a bit insecure about it, but Ambrosius helped with that, in the romantic sense of worshipping and whatever, but also like this:
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Translation (did my best to see how to translate it sorry sdjksd it works better in spanish)
1 Ballister: I think it's too soon to be getting fat- Ambrosius: You know what else is getting fat? 2 Ambrosius: Who said that
-Ballister goes through the denial of needing new clothes, so imagine him still wearing the stuff he usually wears and Nimona coming from behind and picking at the clothes by his shoulder and going in a high-pitched voice, as if the shirt was talking - I'm tired, boss while Ballister swats her away and say, leave me alone, it still fits me >:(
(it doesn't)
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>Also Ballister absolutely refusing to wear maternity clothes, the only one he got he was like, wearing it and looking very unimpressed, and Ambrosius' like, you don't like it? :( and Ballister says, No. It's ugly as fuck >:(
>So, he just gets bigger shirts and stretch-ier pants and that's it. Also he gets an oversized hoodie and he says that's gonna be his best friend the rest of the pregnancy, and both Nimona and Ambrosius gasp offendedly at that.
So-
Ambrosius (turning to look at Nimona): What the- hey, I am his best friend. Nimona: Course not! You lost that privilege with what happened that one time (she means the movie events, more than five years ago) Ballister: Ambrosius' my best friend, Nimona. Ambrosius: HAH >:D Nimona: Aw :( Ballister: Because you're my sidekick :) Nimona: :D Ambrosius: Hey, what now- that sounds better than best friend :(
-Ballister during most of the pregnancy is like, woo baby :) but at the very last months he's at least half of the time pissed off, tired and done with being pregnant.
(my incredible math skills in the next point)
>70% of that time he's mad at Ambrosius (who made him pregnant), 20% mad at Nimona (who consciously (and sometimes unconsciously) gets on his nerves) and the remaining 10 he's pissed off at Baby (and he gets sad about that one, because he's just a baby, so he redirects it at Ambrosius instead 😔)
>Ambrosius does his best to be of help but usually there's nothing he can do aside from being there (and sometimes getting out of Ballister's sight, if he's really angry- in the sense of 'I don't even want to see you now')
>Most of the time Ballister just cools off.
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-Also Ambrosius giving him massages, sometimes randomly on his shoulders or his feet, and sometimes something more elaborated, like Ballister laying down and him using body oil, setting the ambient and all to massage his back (and Ballister almost always falls asleep in those).
>Sometimes tho he just does a 'chop chop chop' at his shoulders (it doesn't do anything besides amusing Ballister and keeping him company)
>Also Nimona said that of course he'd just randomly start chopping Ballister while Ballister does nothing about it, so Ambrosius starts chopping her instead
(made these two drawings with like three weeks of difference ajdkad)
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(N/SFW thingies on the next four points and the next four images)
-Also with that previous point imagine Ballister waking up all angry, and Ambrosius just not knowing what he can do for him to stop being mad, but it turns out that Ballister had just woken up horny and pent-up.
>And once he realizes, he's like Ambrosius... (with intentions of getting some), and Ambrosius is like 🧍? because a second ago Ballister wasn't even looking at him.
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-Also with this, Ballister is just very much hornier now (after the first trimester which was the worst) and Ambrosius doesn't mind at all - except when his jaw gets sore or he's running late for work because they lost track of time and also other situations ajsdks but usually he's delighted.
>(In the drawing Ballister just crossed one leg over the other once he heard Ambrosius coming in, because he can't maintain the position too long without getting uncomfortable sdjksj)
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-Whenever Ballister is like >:c and looking in Ambrosius' direction, he immediately assumes that his husband is angry at him.
>Y'know when you look intensely at someone so they feel your gaze and look at you back? Ballister here is trying to apply that, but it doesn't work bc of the previous point askdad
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-I had written sometime (I think) about them blaming Baby on literally anything that has more or less to do with him. If Ballister's crying, if he forgets stuff, if Nimona coddles Ballister too much and pisses him off, if Ambrosius wastes all the cleaning product in two weeks because he had been cleaning too much (he's nesting and realizes that sometime later), if Nimona and Ballister eat the weirdest stuff that at least he wouldn't eat in normal circumstances- and a long etc.
-During Ballister's pregnancy, Nimona works the most she had ever worked in her existence (in the biscuit factory):
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-Both Nimona and Ambrosius are the most supportive c: yippie. Supportive husband/best friend and supportive sidekick/friend/sibling/etc
>An example would be of Ballister being tired, and if the time allows, the other two will immediately suggest a nap.
>Their collective naps usually last hours and they wake up disoriented, sweaty, with drool and the sheets marked on their faces.
>Also they wake up almost always stacked, Nimona always under the other two.
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Translation
Nimona and Ballister: (snoring) Ambrosius: Fuck- what year is it? (tries to lift himself up)
-Also Nimona is the self-assigned pregnancy pillow, and at first Ballister had refused to let her do that, but as a sidekick she took it upon herself to make sure that her boss was comfy and could sleep well - and Ballister reminded her that that's not what sidekicks are for. She said, fuck off I'll do it anyways >:c
>Anyways he sleeps great with her help and earns himself a huge told you so from Nimona.
>I had written a thingy where just when she woke up she was like good morning boss :D while Ballister also said good morning and she hugged him while pushing Ambrosius away, even out of bed. I can't remember where I left it but once I find it, I'll see if it's good for posting pipipi Also Ballister and Ambrosius are corny husbands
>Also here I drew my vague idea of a bear bc I was too lazy to look for Nimona bear references sowwy
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-Nimona sometimes shapeshifts into Ballister to make fun of him.
(This one joke gets lost in translation which is a shame but I'm gonna share the comic anyways sdjs)
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>(She's messing around about names, doing a play in words using Gloreth's name while Ballister is already warning her to stop)
>Nimona urges them to get a name soon because Baby is almost born, and they're like yeah chill we're on it - and they're both sitting on the sofa, with Ballister's legs over Ambrosius' lap, while Ballister goes through their list on his tablet and Ambrosius focuses on giving him a massage on his feet.
They're like-
Ballister: So, Cyril? Ambrosius: No, my horse at the Institute was called that. Ballister: Right, then not that one... What about Casper? Ambrosius: Hmm... no. Ballister: Why not? Ambrosius: I don't know, I just don't really like it. Do you? Ballister: Eh, it's alright, I guess. I don't think Baby looks like a Casper, though Nimona: You don't even know how he looks yet! Ballister: You shut up, kid >:v Ballister: So, what about…
And they're making nearly to none progress but yeah sjdsd
>Also imagine Nimona (as Ballister) imitating what he does now that he's pregnant but x10 times more.
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Translations
1 AUGHH- MY BACK 2 FUCKING AMBROSIUS! 3 Ambrosito? Can you get me a sweet treat? 🥺 4 I'M HUGE WAAA
>And while Ballister is like wtf I don't act like that, he turns to Ambrosius like, do I act like that? 😥 And Ambrosius, who was laughing to himself, goes, well... not so intensely, which is good enough for Ballister.
>But Nimona points out to what Ballister is eating with a mocking smile (and it is weird to be mocked by a version of himself that has a pink strand on his hair, but whatever), and he's like ? what? and realizes that he did ask for a sweet treat almost like Nimona depicted he does, because he did pull the big sparkly eyes and he did call Ambrosius Ambrosito while at it.
>Then he's wondering if he really complains about his back like that (he does, but as Ambrosius said, he isn't so intense about it, usually just holding his lower back and throwing his head back as he winces. Normal)
>(the yelling insults at Ambrosius is definitely not true. But he does throw daggers at him with his eyes when he's angry, he has to admit to himself)
>Now, about crying because he feels huge- yes. Very much true, but he doesn't wail. Just sobs and cries a river like the sensible, serious adult he is.
-Also that thing of knights don't cry and whatever. This one knight does cry, and he cries a lot (at least while he's pregnant).
>He cried once because he dreamt that Nimona was a little spider and even though he warned Ambrosius to be careful, he accidentally crushed her and he woke up not only incredibly sad but also upset with Ambrosius, even though he was aware that it was silly to get mad with him over a dream.
>Nimona was like boss :( while hugging him, and Ambrosius had to scoot a bit away because Ballister didn't even want to look at him as he wept. Ambrosius said a lot of reassuring words of I'm sorry, I think I didn't see her :( while Ballister was like, but I warned you so many times :'[
>Then he was like, I promise you, I'd never hurt Nimona. And Nimona herself said, yeah boss, I'd crush him first, don't you worry about it :) and Ballister said, but I couldn't protect you :''[ while hugging her harder.
>And both Nimona and Ambrosius are (internally) like, ohh, so that's what it's about.
>Anyways, just a bunch of hugging and comforting gets him to feel a little less sad and also Nimona saying, but you're great at protecting me now :D so, there's all that sdjksd
-Sometimes Ballister just breaks down over seemingly the most trivial stuff too (which is usually just the last straw over a bunch of other stuff going on)
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Translation
1 Ambrosius: Balli? What happened? D: Ballister (with one eyeline going up and the other going down): Ambrosito, my eyeline's crooked* *the straw that broke the camel's back (his hair isn't cooperating) (his back hurts) (done) (clothes feel uncomfortable) (the baby won't stay still) 2 Ambrosius (doing Ballister's eyeline): Stay very still, love (focused) 3 (they're in front of the mirror) Ballister (laughing his ass off): BUT HOW DID YOU MAKE IT EVEN MORE CROOKED?! Ambrosius (embarrassed): Aw Ballister (holding his belly): Ow, Baby, don't kick me, sorry, sorry! I'll stay still now-
>(Y'know when a pregnant person laughs the baby inside gets all shaken skdsd I find it funny, so imagine Baby being like ??!! because Ballister keeps laughing too hard and shaking him all around and his kicks are like him going, stay the fuck still D:<) (Ballister's still weepy but now he's crying with laughter, which is better than him crying from being overwhelmed)
-Also Ballister's very scared of giving birth but he's very good at pretending that Baby will simply materialize in his arms rather than him having to push him out.
(Drawings based over this)
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Translation
1 Ballister happy because his baby is almost born 2 (Remembers that he has to give birth to him)
-The day that he was in labor and all, imagine the water just breaking and stuff and Nimona being like 'okay everyone DON'T PANIC' while panicking and also Ballister's panicking too (Ambrosius' at work and when he's told he also panics and arrives at the hospital in record time still wearing his armor. The power of first-time father panic)
(But someone gotta be not panicking in the situation, so Ambrosius calms the fuck down and becomes the calming presence that Ballister can rely on c: also Nimona calms down too and goes back to being herself and is very good at distracting Ballister while he goes through contractions and the hours before pushing.)
>Also y'know how in TV sometimes someone else imitates the pregnant person's breathing exercises by going huff huff huff quickly ajsdkjd
>Also Ballister going Nimona what about the bags and also don't carry me there?! and her going shit right and ignoring the second half, then returning for the bags and grabbing them, all while holding Ballister like a doll (a doll with a little doll inside SJDS pregnant barbie)
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En español pensaba que fuera = AYÚDENLO, SE LE SALE LA WAWA - NIMONA DEJA DE HACER SHOW
-Wrote a lil something about Baby's birth and Ballister going through kinda a rollercoaster of emotions because at the very beginning of the pushing stage he almost had a panic attack, but then everyone in the room helped him calm down, and when he thought everything was going great, the doctor offered Ambrosius to receive their baby, and of course his husband was very excited about it and said yes, getting dressed up in the medical gown, the facemask, the gloves and all that.
(Initially everything after that was supposed to go swiftly, but I thought, no, what if Ambrosius faints like some dads do? and after watching a TikTok of a woman whose partner did faint and they had to pause her birth to hold him up because he was like over 6 feet tall, I was like hell yeah that's it)
>When Ambrosius finally got between Ballister's legs to look, his blood pressure went the fuck down. And since he's pretty tall and the nurse that tried to catch him was pretty short, the other one had to join in and then the doctor too to avoid him slamming on the ground. The thing was that Ambrosius was clearly fighting very hard against unconsciousness, giving the three people holding him false hope about him finally holding his own weight, making them almost drop him multiple times.
>Sensibly, the situation was kinda scary, because the three people assisting his baby's birth were busy trying to hold his husband from fainting. Said husband was clearly fighting with everything he got to keep himself conscious, and Ballister could very much feel his baby crowning.
>But seeing three short people trying to hold Ambrosius up and yelping when they almost dropped him several times, and remembering that Ambrosius had been so excited about it but hadn't been able to even stand the view, and feeling pretty nervous because his main emotional support couldn't even keep himself awake-, made him crack up.
>So, he's laughing out loud and going every once in a while, owfuck- because it still hurts like a bitch, while the other three keep going, YOU'LL DROP HIM. BE CAREFUL, SIR?? SIR, CAN YOU HEAR ME? and Ambrosius' like, yea- (faints again)
>(they're well aware that they gotta deliver the baby, so they're doing their best to hurry Ambrosius to get out of the way)
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>The whole thing had made Ballister's body feel weak from the laughter, and he had to try and calm down to have strength again and push the baby out.
>As you'd guess, Ambrosius didn't receive their baby, and had to sit down and eat something sweet to not faint again, but he managed to stay on his feet well enough to cut the umbilical cord yippie.
>So anyways, Baby out, wrapped and all that, Ballister kept laughing more quietly about it and saying that they should mark the date in the calendar to celebrate Ambrosius fainting over almost delivering their baby. And Ambrosius' like hmm, I don't know Balli, maybe we could use this date for our son's birthday, don't you think? and Ballister's like OH RIGHT and now started laughing at himself.
I keep thinking of new stuff that contradicts what I already have posted, sowwy
>Imagine Ambrosius practically begging Ballister to not tell Nimona, while the other says she'd love to know but also is aware that she'd never let Ambrosius live it down, so he agrees on not telling her. Both eventually tell both Nimona and Baby when the latter is older and inquired about his birth, and indeed, Nimona loved the anecdote, and never let Ambrosius live it down, since then.
-Ideas about Nimona infiltrating the room in the form of a nurse after Baby is born and blowing up her cover when she commented on the baby's nose being just like Gol- Mr. Goldenheart's. And also, his hair being black like Bo- Mr. Goldenheart's.
>At the beginning when they had been admiring their baby, Ambrosius had said, he got your hair D': pipipi (he cried the second Baby got placed in his arms, got a drawing of that but I don't like how it came out wah, Ambrosius' wearing a facemask and being all tear-eyed pipipi) and Ballister had said, he got your nose :D but Ambrosius had said no? that's just a baby's nose, how can you even tell. But after Nimona commented on it, Ballister's saying told you so, it's your nose, while Ambrosius' like, Mr. Goldenheart could be either of us (both smiling amusedly because Nimona's too silly and they clearly know it's her, but she's all idk who's Nimona?)
-Also, I don't know how to make that work with the idea that when she got kicked out to the hall for the pushing bit, she went to steal some flowers and balloons with 'it's a boy!' on them for Ballister. But anyways, I'll write that bit too.
-Also this is Goldenheart with their baby, and I drew it a while back but realized that I don't like it anymore, so I'll do a redrawing someday sdjksd
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>Imagine that Ambrosius was in the hospital bed with Baby while Ballister was getting ready so they could leave to their home, and Nimona said pictures timeee and then took that pic, with Ballister pointing at Baby and being all :D Also, Ambrosius looked pretty good and all, and Ballister was all unshaven face, kinda messy hair, the hospital band with his name still wrapped on his wrist as he pointed at Baby, and yet there were some people online that were like ??! Ambrosius Goldenloin Goldenheart was pregnant??
>And the people that knew even if a little bit about the Goldenheart's life, and also because they still went out and whatever, were like ? no? didn't you see Ballister like, a week ago? (Where he was very obviously pregnant and Ambrosius clearly wasn't sdjkdj)
>Every once in a while, Nimona would remember about this and repost it again, even after Baby is much older.
And that's it! If you read till here, bless you ajsdkadj
I've got more stuff about mpreg, both written and drawn, so I hope to make another post like this sometime, they're very fun to make :D
1K notes · View notes
veltana · 24 days ago
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The winter rebound
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✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Fem!Reader
✦ Word count: ~3,6k
✦ Rating: Explicit
✦ Warnings/tags: Avengers!Bucky, alcohol consumption, fluff, pwp, smut, oral (fem receiving), piv sex, safe sex, dirty talk.
✦ Summary: You go with your friend to Stark's holiday party
✦ Note: This was the first thing I wrote and published when I got back into the marvel fandom, so it's a super self-indulgent piece! But I hope you like it anyway! As always, please comment and/or reblog! Asks are always welcome!
Masterlist | AO3
It was Friday. You watched yourself in the mirror and told yourself that you would have fun tonight. Forget about your ex of five years who broke off your engagement a month before the holidays, whom you had spent the last three weeks crying over.
Tonight you were accompanying your best friend to the annual Stark holiday party, and you would not think about him once during the night, while you danced and drank yourself into a stupor.
Standing outside the huge compound made you anxious. Maybe it was too soon to meet the real world without him. No! Don’t think about that asshole! You cut yourself off before your thoughts started to spiral.
“Come on!” your friend Lily laughed. Her genuine smile was contagious and you returned it, squaring your shoulders and forcing every dumb thought down before you took her arm as the two of you made your way down the gold and red carpet. At the end, two large glass doors were opened by life-sized mechanical nutcrackers.
“I sure hope those don’t spring to life and ruin this party too,” you mumbled. Lily giggled, “Don’t worry, I helped with the software, unless Mr. Stark went a completely different direction there should be no worries.” “So there is a possibility,” you joked as the doors closed behind you.
If she answered you didn’t hear because you were too busy taking in the amazing winter-themed party. The waiters were also dressed as nutcrackers and there were dancers in amazing outfits performing all over the floor. Music played in the background and some were moving to the beat while others stood around and talked.
Honestly, you had expected more people, like at least two hundred but there were only about fifty in the huge hall. Not only the regular people, like your friend, who helped with software, hardware, management, and the day-to-day running's of the compound, but it was impossible not to notice the heroes also in attendance.
Not all of them were there, no sign of Thor or Loki, or the Guardians, but this was your first time so close to any hero ever, you would take what you could get.
“Come, I’ll introduce you to everyone,” Lily said and started to pull you along while you gazed at the shifting decorations adorning the walls, obvious to the blue eyes that followed you with interest from the bar.
Too many names spun through your brain, accompanied by the alcohol your friend had been plying you with.
Everyone you had met so far had been incredibly nice and friendly and hadn’t minded when you asked all the dumb questions about working at such a place.
Finally, it came down to the big event, meeting Mr. Stark and maybe the rest of the Avengers currently there.
Lily stepped up to her boss and greeted him and Pepper Potts like they were friends rather than her superiors and then introduced you. Not a lot of people got to shake hands with Iron Man and Pepper Potts but now you had, and it was totally normal.
“Interesting hair color,” Tony Stark pointed out. “Is it meant to look like that?” It was such an old man thing to say you could only laugh as Pepper elbowed him in the ribs. “I am sorry,” Pepper apologized but you waved it off.
“He is paying for everything I drink, so if he wants to make fun of my hair, it’s fine.” Pepper gave you a relieved look and was about to say something else when a voice interrupted.
“It looks like the Aurora Borealis.”
Bucky Barnes had appeared out of nowhere, like the skilled assassin he had been trained to be. It was like he had materialized out of thin air at your side and you jumped when he spoke.
Before you knew what you were doing, you reached out, slapping your palm against his hard chest, and said “For fuck’s sake,” while your other hand rested over the heart trying to work its way out of your chest.
Then you realized what you’d done and pulled back your hand quickly, covering your mouth. Bucky stared back at you, mouth slightly open, while Lily and Tony both cackled in amusement. “That’s what you get Barnes,” your friend pointed out.
With a crooked smile, Bucky just said, “How about I buy you a drink to make up for it?” and held out his arm. “As long as it’s crazy expensive since the old man made fun of my hair,” you shot over your shoulder at Tony as you took the offered arm.
Your friend winked at you before she returned to her conversation with Natasha Romanoff, whom you would just have to say hello to some other time.
Bucky led you the short way to the bar and you eased your way on to the chair, making sure not to get tangled in your long dress, as Bucky leaned over the bar and asked for the most expensive champagne they had.
“I’m Bucky,” he said. “I know,” you smiled at him before introducing yourself too.
In no time there were two flutes in front of you, he offered you one, saying cheers before you took the first sip. The unabashed moan that left you wasn’t meant to be sexual but Bucky stopped his glass halfway to his lips to just stare at you. It cracked you up, “Sorry,” you said, “I’ve never tasted champagne this good before.” He also took a sip, his eyes widening a little, and when he’d swallowed all he said was, “Wow.” “I could get used to this,” you took another mouth and closed your eyes.
When you opened them again you found him looking at you and it made a shiver go down your spine. For the first time in a long time, you felt desire pool in your lower belly. “Will this make up for Stark’s comment?” he asked. “It will absolutely!” you promised. “I think your hair looks great and I’m like twice his age so…” he trailed off.
“My friend, Lily, has told me about these crazy old super soldiers, but you look spry for your age,” you winked at him. “You can only imagine,” he flirted back, and your cheeks heated. You had forgotten about this, about the utter intoxication of flirting with a man and having it returned to you.
After several weeks of drought, your body suddenly knew what arousal was again and flooded you with it, making your heart beat twice as fast and your skin flush. “Oh, you want me to think of everything you can do?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. “Anything you want, doll,” he leaned forward, “But I’m sure your imagination won’t hold a candle to the real thing.” “Are you going to show me?” “If you want to,” he smirked and you felt yourself grow wetter by the second.
You leaned in too, unable to resist him and not wanting to either. You wanted to get lost in him for as long as he would have you. He finished off the rest of his champagne like it was a shot of liquor.
“Come on, I have just the place,” he smiled, holding out his hand. Not even second-guessing yourself for a moment you finished your glass and let him lead you away.
Bucky took you through a side door, into a corridor that led to the heart of the compound which was now deserted, and finally into a large room with a domed ceiling.
It looked like a cinema almost, except the screen was the whole ceiling, and in the middle of the floor was an enormous sofa-like thing that easily fit several people.
After Bucky pressed something on a side panel the room lit up with the Aurora Borealis.
You let go of his hand, staring with huge eyes at the display. Maybe you had misinterpreted his intentions and they were actually pure, not at all the filthy things you had thought this would end up being.
Never had you been happier to be wrong.
This time when he appeared out of nowhere he didn’t scare you, he gripped your waist with the vibranium arm and spun you into his chest, before using his other hand to pinch your chin between his fingers.
“I’m going to kiss you, tell me if I should stop,” he breathed. Instead of answering with words you surged up and crushed your lips against his, wrapping your arms around his neck, and pulling him impossibly closer.
It was almost like he expected you to be timid or something because, for a few seconds, he didn’t move, but then he rushed into action, moving his lips and kissing you like a man starved.
Desire flooded you, making every one of his touches feel like fire even through the fabric of your dress. He moved you backward until your knees hit the oversized sofa, and you laid down.
Bucky’s face was burning with desire as he looked down on you, before he could move or say anything you grabbed your skirt and pulled it up until it bunched around your waist so that you were able to spread your legs without restraint.
The growl erupting from his chest made you smile and you crooked your finger toward him. He knelt between your legs, grabbing your thighs to spread them even more before he leaned down over you to capture your lips again.
The action made the hard cock in his jeans brush against your heated core, making you moan into his mouth.
He pulled back, eyes wild, “Your sounds make me fucking crazy.” he groaned, moving his hands down your naked legs, caressing them and gripping them, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be rough or gentle.
“Hope so,” you smiled and started to tug at his suit jacket, needing to see his body. He obliged by sitting back and ridding his upper body of clothing. As soon as you could your hands splayed out across the expanse of his naked torso, feeling the hard muscles under the soft skin.
Your eyes grazed over the scars on his left shoulder but didn’t pay it any mind. The man had trauma, that was no secret, but tonight you didn’t need to delve into that. Instead, you sat up, kissing the skin you could reach and licking at his nipple, making him moan most deliciously.
He reached around you to unzip your dress and you whined when you had to move away from him to let him pull it off you. Now you were almost completely naked with the super soldier, except for the thong you wore that did little to hide anything from him, and your heels.
Without another word, he stood up and unbuttoned his pants, peeling them off and kicking off his shoes in the process, before he was back over you. Now it was his turn to taste your skin and when he closed his mouth around a nipple, using his vibranium hand to pinch the other, you released a high-pitched mewl you never heard from yourself before.
That only spurred him on, alternating between sucking and licking at you, squeezing or pinching your sensitive buds. The pleasure was too much, like you would implode or maybe even come from just him playing with your tits. You fisted the fabric under you, pushing your chest even more into him as moans and words tumbled from your lips.
“Bucky, please!” you tried forming a coherent sentence but failed. “What do you need, doll?” he asked, lips shiny with his spit as he looked up at you. “Touch me, make me come, please Bucky,” you didn’t want to wait another second for the pleasure you had missed for a lot longer than the weeks since your break up. This temporary connection with a stranger was already better than what you had experienced over several years.
“Can I taste you?” his voice was husky, filled with restrained want. “Yes!” you smiled and raised yourself on your elbows.
You watched as he kissed his way down your form, pulling off your thong and throwing it away. He grabbed your thighs and spread them wide before letting the thumb of his vibranium hand slowly drag up, separating your folds, groaning, almost whispering “Fuck, your pussy is perfect,” and leaning in to carefully lick up your spread lips. You fell back, staring up at the beautiful display as Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, one of the Avengers, ate you out with perfection.
Every move he made sent sparks through your entire body and pulled cries from you. Your hands tangled in his hair, not pulling or pushing, just needing to anchor yourself on something. Nothing would hold a candle to this for the rest of your life you suspected, because even though you had just met, Bucky Barnes took his sweet time, caressing his hands up and down your sides, down your legs, and back up again, using his tongue and lips to make your body blaze.
Your crescendo built steadily, as did your voice, the closer you got the more you pleaded and begged, even though he was doing exactly what you wanted him to. When two fingers on his right hand breached you with no problem your back bowed, the pleasure rushing through you, and when he crooked them and moved them inside you, it was everything the dam needed to break and the coil inside you snapped.
You screamed his name as the orgasm hit you like a freight train. What was even better was that he worked you through it, coaxing every last drop of pleasure out of you before you had to instead beg him to stop.
"Too much," you whimpered when the uttermost tip of his tongue gently floated across your clit. "No, darling, not enough. A man could get addicted to hearing you scream his name."
You whimpered again, your body rocking with overstimulation at every pass of his tongue. It was wonderful to hear him say those things but you needed more.
"Please tell me you have a condom so you can fuck me," you groaned and that made him stop, staring at you from between your legs before kissing up the side of your thigh to sit back on his heels before he got up. He freed himself from his underwear before he bent down to grab his pants and pulled a condom from a pocket and that gave you a chance to admire him. His cock was hard, glistening, and a lot bigger than what you were previously used to, but that only sparked more excitement in your lower stomach.
"Hands and knees, baby," he smiled and made a twirling motion with his fingers. You wasted no time rolling over, and getting into position. His flesh hand slapped your ass playfully when he knelt behind you and when you moaned he chuckled. "You like that huh?" he asked as the tip of his cock started to press into you.
He was big, you whined and whimpered with every inch he pressed into you. Maybe why he took his time eating you, because he needed you to be as aroused as possible for it to fit. You clawed at the fabric, feeling like you were having an out-of-body experience with how he filled you.
"So good, taking it all," he praised when his hips were finally flush with your ass. Trying to answer him with words was out of the question, instead, you rocked your body, feeling his cock press against everything inside you, giving you the most delicious sensation you probably ever felt.
His hand landed on your ass again and that spurred you on, starting to move a bit faster. "Look at you, fucking yourself on my cock," he sounded a little breathless and you wished you could see him. "Do you like it, darling? Do you like my cock filling you to the brim?"
Fuck, Bucky Barnes had a mouth on him you had not expected. He grabbed your hips and helped you along, starting to fuck you deep and hard, pulling almost all the way out before shoving back in again.
With every move, you cried out in sheer ecstasy. Bucky kept on telling you how good you sounded, he didn't mind at all that you were loud.
The pace was hard but not hurried, he seemed to like taking his time, not rushing through the action just to get to the finish line. But it was driving you mad, it felt like you were at the precipice constantly, ready to tip over but needing something more to do it.
Then he grabbed you around the waist and pulled you up until you were flush against his chest, his pace never stopping. "Hi, sweet thing, enjoying yourself?" he wasn't even winded and you were a panting, whimpering mess, feeling like you were about to lose it.
"Yes, Bucky, please touch me, make me come again." He kissed your shoulder, "My pleasure," was his answer and his left hand descended on your aching clit.
A shudder and a scream passed through you when he started to rub small circles over it. Suddenly you were so close to the edge you could almost taste it, and Bucky knew it too.
"That's right, come on my cock, doll. Can you do that for me? Be good and come for me?" he said between kissing up your neck, moving the arm around your waist up to grab your jaw, and turning your head to the side. The kiss was sloppy but delicious, and with the aid of his fingers and so full of his cock the orgasm took you by full force, making you shake in his grip.
He released your mouth and let the sounds you made fill up the room, pressing his mouth to the side of your head and telling you over and over again how fucking good you felt coming around him.
If he hadn’t held you up, you would have collapsed no doubt, but Bucky had no problem keeping you up as he found his own release, pressing his forehead against your neck and mumbling obscenities, his hips stuttering against your ass.
Now he was breathing heavier, holding you tight against him with both arms, letting his fingers draw random patterns on your skin.
You were in a post-orgasmic haze, only existing in that moment with no past or future, only his warm body, and a sated need. "Gonna need to let you go now, darling," he said in a low voice "Lay down." His arms loosened around you and you braced yourself with your arms and eased yourself down on your side.
Bucky got up, probably to dispose of the condom, before laying down behind you. You hadn't expected him to want to cuddle, but he draped his arm across your side, pulling you flush against him.
"You okay?" he asked in a whisper. "Fan-fucking-tastic," you answered with a small laugh and felt a million times lighter all of a sudden.
After a few minutes of laying there, you felt like you'd been gone from the party long enough, but judging by Bucky’s heavy breathing, he had fallen asleep behind you.
He didn't wake as you gathered your things. When you found the thong, you looked at it, looked over at his gorgeous form laying there, and giggled as you found his pants and stuffed the thong down his pocket.
With the help of some items in your clutch, you patched up your make-up and fixed your hair before slipping out and closing the door behind you.
It was a small miracle that you could find your way back to the party but you did and immediately went to the bar for a drink.
Lily found you minutes later and she just raised an eyebrow, you shrugged and tilted your glass towards hers, clinking them together, and then you both burst out laughing.
*
Monday rolled around and it was hard to work because you kept getting lost in the memories of Friday night.
His eyes, his scent, his voice as he said those things to you. You squeezed your legs together and stifled a low moan.
Suddenly your phone chimed and pulled you back into the real world. A text from Lily.
[So, Bucky Barnes just came by and asked for your number. I gave it, of course, just so you know!] [Okay? Did he say why he needed it?] [Apparently, you left something(????) here on Friday and he wanted to return it.] [Hmm, okay, thanks!] [What did you leave?!?!?!?] [Don't be so nosey, go back to work!]
Your stomach did a flip when the next message was from an unknown number. It had a picture attached, your thong tangled in his fingers, and the text [You left these.] For a second you imagined him using them as he got himself off. You bit your lips as you responded. [Keep them or throw them away, I have more, don't worry.] even added a little wink-emoji.
[I want to return them, personally. Are you free this afternoon?] His response was quick and very to the point.
A wonderful shudder traveled through you at the thought of seeing him again. You had meant for this to be a one-time thing, something to get you back into the world and learn to exist without your ex but there wasn't any harm in seeing where this could go, and hopefully, you would have a lot more amazing sex on top of it.
[Sure, I get off at five.]
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andhumanslovedstories · 2 months ago
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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can-youimagine · 5 months ago
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Mix Up (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Summary: Spencer sends the wrong note.
TW: adult themes, embarrassment
Word Count: 1499
Masterlist
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Everyone in the BAU contributed something to make the team feel like a family. Rossi opened his house and cooked for the team. Morgan and Hotch were always quick to praise a member for their accomplishments. Penelope always made sure that she had treats for anyone who might be having a bad day. You left notes for everyone. After each case, someone got a note, telling them how much you appreciated them and their contributions. 
Last week, Hotch got a note. He tucked it into his bag with a smile before making sure to thank you and tell you how much you are appreciated on the team. 
Today, it was Spencer’s turn to receive a note. The two of you had roomed together for this case, and you saw how much of a toll it took on him. He shouldn’t say he is surprised to see a note on his desk, but he is.
Spencer,
I can’t imagine how difficult this case was for you. You don’t have to be brave all the time, y’know. It’s okay for you to be scared. You are human, even if you know more than a computer. I am so proud of the work you accomplished and more than grateful for it. Know that I am proud of you, always. 
You are the person I can trust with anything. You are the only member of the team who I worry about, even when we’re not out on a case. Not because I think you can’t handle yourself but because I know you’re worrying about all of us. Please, don’t let me be the cause of any of your stress. 
I wish I could keep writing, but I can barely keep my eyes open.
With love,
(Y/N).
He smiles widely at the note, tucking it into his bag before anyone else has a chance to see it. After all, you didn’t write it for anyone else. You wrote it for him. You thought of him outside the case, and you thought that you wanted to make him feel good. The more he thinks about it, the more light-headed he becomes. He heads to the kitchenette, eager to get a cup of coffee and hide his growing blush. 
You’ve left him five notes in the last year. Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, he is certain he would have each word memorized. He’s memorized every interaction you’ve had with them. Though, he knows these memories aren’t quite perfect. Every time a memory is retrieved, it becomes altered, and he has replayed every memory more times than he can count. He’s replayed them, he’s altered them, he’s even added to them. 
If he could bring you just a fraction of the joy that you bring him, he would be able to rest easy. The way his heart flips every time he gets a note from you gives him the perfect idea of how to please you.
When he gets home, he sits at his desk, trying to come up with something to say to you, but nothing feels right. How is he supposed to tell you how much you mean to him without telling you just how much you mean to him? Finally, he picks up his pen, deciding that if he writes a draft of what he wants to say first, he’ll be able to write what he should say.
(Y/N),
You are more appreciated than you know. I love you more than you know. Yes, this case was hard for me, but the biggest challenge was sharing a room with you. It’s always tough to sleep on cases, but how am I supposed to get any sleep when I’m only a few feet from you? When, if you’d let me, I’d be able to sleep in your arms? When I’d be able to touch you, kiss you, fuck you?
God, it’s all I could think about. I shouldn’t even tell you what I was thinking. It’s not even just what I was thinking when we were on the case. I think about you constantly. I think of how kind you are, how much praise you give. I can’t help but wonder if you would receive praise just as well. If, when I tell you that you were made for my cock, you would fall apart. If I could, I would give you all the praise in the world just to see you break, watch you come undone, on my cock, on my fingers, on my tongue.
I know you would taste incredible. What I wouldn’t give to get even a taste. Though, I know I wouldn’t be able to stop at just a taste. I’d have to be selfish, and I know you wouldn’t complain.
Spencer slides his chair away from his desk. He quickly folds the paper and sets it aside. Now that that’s done, he gets to work on his actual letter. A much tamer, much safer for work, much friendlier letter that lets you know that you are appreciated.
Again, he folds the note, writing your name on the outside, and sets it aside. 
When he leaves in the morning, he grabs the note off his desk, tucking it into his bag. He frowns, noticing that your car is already in the garage. He had hoped that he could leave the note on your desk as a surprise, but there’s no doubt that you’re already working on your files. He decides that he’ll drop it on your desk as he walks by then hide in the breakroom while you read it.
It’s not that he’s embarrassed by what he said, and he meant every word. It just feels like an invasion of privacy to watch you, and he’s not sure how he would be able to carry on with the day if he saw even the hint of a frown on your face.
The elevator opens, and he sets his plan into motion. He unpacks his bag, sliding the note into his hand before walking past your desk. 
“Spencer, you dropped something,” you call, but he keeps walking, and out of the corner of his eye, he watches you open the note. That’s when he realizes his mistake. Your name is nowhere on the back of the paper. He panics but keeps walking. What is he supposed to say? “Sorry, that actually isn’t meant for you, I mean it is, but you definitely should not be reading that, in a completely normal not creepy way.”?
He focuses on his coffee, He wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. If hwatching the sugar dissolve. He’s lucky, he’ll be able to hide in here all day and never have to look at you again.
Spencer Reid is very rarely at a loss for words. He can almost always come up with something to say. Now, as he walks back into the bullpen, he has no clue what he can say to you. 
It appears that he doesn’t have to. You aren’t at your desk anymore, much to Spencer’s relief. He turns his focus to the papers in front of him. Files that normally wouldn’t take him more than ten minutes are taking almost an hour. He doesn’t look up until he hears a door open.
Hotch’s office door.
He closes his eyes, praying there isn’t a case already. He doesn’t hear Hotch. Instead, he hears footsteps walk down the stairs and into the bullpen. Hesitantly, he opens his eyes. You are getting settled at your desk.
No, no, no, no, no.
You did not go to Hotch after reading his note. You couldn’t have. You would have talked to him before you got him fired, right?
“What was that about?” Emily asks you. You turn to answer, and Spencer is trying to listen, but Morgan grabs his attention first.
“What’s with you?”
“What do you mean?”
Morgan rolls his eyes. “I’m finishing these files faster than you.”
Spencer shrugs. “I’m just distracted, that’s all.”
“Hey, you know we’re here for you, right?”
“I know,” he answers, looking back at the file. 
The day continues without you talking to him, and he sure as hell isn’t going to talk to you. Since Hotch hasn’t come down to fire him, Spencer assumes that his job is safe.
You get up around noon, stretching as you do. You grab your bag, a piece of paper between your fingers. You let it fall as you walk passed his desk. Spencer quickly picks it up, unfolding it.
Spencer,
Buy me dinner, and I’ll make sure you get something sweet.
He rereads the sentence over and over again. He’s convinced it’s some sort of joke, but he holds onto the hope that it isn’t and that he actually hasn’t fucked this up beyond belief.
When you come back, you glance at him. If he wasn’t a profiler, he’s not sure he would’ve caught it, but you seem nervous. He smiles to himself. 
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