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stsgooo · 10 months ago

Note

moonlit goddess.... maybe jinshi is wondering why his dear maid continues to pull away from him... and maybe gao shun lets it slip that "they shouldn't have been close that day anyway".... and jinshi pesters him until he folds n explains.... IDK I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THOSE TWO :((((( (not forced ofc!! i jus love ur writing!)

Bridge the Gap.

✩࿐ summary: life and death really makes a girl wonder.

warning(s): idiots in love, chapters 61-65 manga spoilers, master/servant like relationship, description of near drowning, suggestive content, ambiguous ending. wc; 9.3k

pairing(s): jinshi/fem!reader.

a/n: tysm for reading my fics means the world to hear ppl actually enjoy them, anon!!! ;') i wasn't really going to make a 2nd part of moonlight goddess as i thought it was okay to leave off there, but i love jinshi sooo i'll take any excuse to write him. this was initially going to be a part 2 of clumsiness, but i figured my plans worked better with what you were envisioning! im not entirely sure how to feel about this, but i hope this lives up to the standards! i apologize for any mistakes, this was written mostly in the early mornings when i had time!

part i. m.list

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

"Y/N, please, stop asking me that."

"Oh, yes. My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry."

This were, admittedly, not going well. Both of you soaked, hair dripping, and standing in the cave behind a rapid waterfall, and a dull ache in your chest as you recovered. Partly your fault, partly the fault of some crazed marksman that was hiding in the forest, trying to slaughter Jinshi and, by proxy, you.

To understand how you two ended up in this situation, we would have to back up a bit.

"Oh? Y/N, I didn't know you'd be attending this as well?"

"It was a last minute switch with Suiren and I."

"You... enjoy these hunts?"

"I've done everything I could to avoid them in the years past."

Your lack of excitement was apparent and clear. It appeared to bring no ease of mind to Maomao who dragged her rather disgusted eyes from you towards Gaoshun. The older man just kept his attention on the moving scenery outside, a distant glaze over his eyes.

Maomao obviously wasn't optimistic. Just like you. You were almost proud that she had caught on so easily.

The sweltering heat outside seemed to seep into the carriage, cooking you alive in your rather formal wear. Something that you were spotted in far and few, having been years that you truly cleaned yourself prim and proper. You had been on the edge of declining even going when Jinshi, with a grin and a certain glitter in his eyes, had too happily informed you that it was a direct invitation from Shishou.

Your fate had been sealed.

Maomao peeked at you from the corner of her eye, head tilted, "Do you mind me asking why you avoided these events?"

You don't even spare her a glance, "I fear if I spoke my honest opinion, I'd stain Jinshi-sama's reputable name with my foul mouth." You reply flatly in return.

"Please don't." Gaoshun said softly from his seat, looking particularly tired.

You decided to ignore the slump of Maomao's shoulders as if disappointed by the swift interruption and decline on Gaoshun's part. Turning your eyes towards the shifting world outside.

It'd been exactly five months since Jinshi had danced under the moon and you came to the conclusion that any impure thoughts you held for your master would be safely tucked away in the back of your mind (and heart). Forever your secret. Only to be heard in your dreams and upon your death, when you repent for any ill thoughts to the Great Man above.

Everything had returned to its normal routine. You would get up in the morning, prepare breakfast alongside Suiren, eat, then proceed with any chores the woman gave you for the rest of the day, then repeat. Equally, your relationship (or lack thereof) with Jinshi had remained the same. Conversations filled with pleasantries. Simple things that had always lingered between the two of you since you were children. Pleasant and simple. As the world shall ever be.

It got a bit ruffled with Jinshi had cornered you and practically ordered that you come to the hunt instead of Suiren.

In the middle of scrubbing away at the floors, he had found you. Stood above you with that grin, “Y/N, you’re one of my most loyal servants, hm?” He’d begun with an inflection in his tone that made you horribly hesitant.

You had faltered in your scrubbing to stare up at him with confusion, “Uh…well, I suppose, Jinshi-sam’s.”

“Why don’t you join me for the Hunt this up coming week?”

Your had heart dropped. And, by the look Gaoshun had dawned, his had too. The Hunt, in your humble opinion, was a glorified weekend for the men in high positions to rub one off while killing animals. It wasn’t something you found interesting in or much grace. That’s why you had declined Suiren’s question on whether or not you’d like to take her place only three days prior. You had no interest in watching anyone, even Jinshi, size each other up while a defenseless animal bled.

“Jinshi-sama, I believe Suiren—“

Ever the gentleman, he had cut you off, “No worries, Suiren agreed to take over matters while you’re gone! She’s the sweetest, right?” He had appeared all to eager and all too himself for you to ignore.

So, with a heavy heart, you’d sighed, accepting defeat and his invitation.

Now, you would find your torture for a multiple day retreat with a bunch of men with their c—

The carriage came to an abrupt halt, bringing an unruly end to your thoughts as you all carefully exited and were greeted by the sunshine. The humid air heavy with the condensation of the area and already making a sweat appear on your brow. But, ever the lady, you pleasantly tuck your hands into your sleeves and follow behind Gaoshun and Basen.

You were a little surprised as Maomao stuck closely to your side; but not all too surprised to find her attention on your surroundings, vague surprise in her eyes. The area was as equally as beautiful as it was a burden to you.

The buildings weren't anything for you to revel at. Spending an entire lifetime within palaces and in buildings as equally or above standard to those, it just wasn't anything special. The nature surrounding the area, however, was something to stare in awe at. Lucious trees, beautiful grass, and beautiful array of plants and flowers. It almost made you regret all the time you had spent away from this place.

But it wasn't like you had the chance to truly return since the last time you were here. Nothing could bring back that little girl.

You deterred your thoughts away as Gaoshun slid the door open. Immediately, you were hit with a wave of heat that you made you tense up. It was apparent that you wouldn't find your much needed cool down you were desperate to find since you were confined in the carriage days prior.

You were the last to enter and when you did, you faltered at the sight before you.

Jinshi was sprawled across the couch, wisps of his dark hair framed his sweat glistened face, eyes closed in contempt. A small dent appeared between his eyebrows and a frown adorned his face. However, your attention was caught on a drop of sweat that made its way from his hairline, down his cheek, his jaw, his long slender neck, and past his— his collar.

His modesty was of no worry, apparently, as he laid with his robes parted open to reveal his chest. Itself was glistening with sweat. Delicate skin on showcase for all to see. It brought a soft blush to your cheeks, as you blatantly ogled him. Pressing your lips together to contain whatever thoughts you had about him from burst from your seams.

"Y/N," Jinshi's voice hit your ears, tender and smooth. You're suddenly hyperaware that he's staring at you with raised brows, lids peeked open to stare at you.

You straighten your back and offer a bow, "Jinshi-sama. Do you require anything?" You had to get it together. It was inappropriate to behave in such a scandalous way. "Request for ice? Tea?"

Jinshi shook his head, sitting up, "No, rather I'd like for you to rest after such a long journey."

You falter, your arms wavering from their position in front of your face, "Uh.... Wouldn't the room be more tolerable with some ice?" You spare a glance around the room and grimace. The windows are shut tight, only bits of sun peeking through the cracks. Basen looks rather miserable, but trying to appear his usual stern self. While Gaoshun and Maomao seem rather okay with showcasing their small discontent with the heat. A nice cube would help at least cool down a bit.

You also couldn't stand another second seeing Jinshi like that. As if he were some type of nymph testing your faith.

"Really, it's fine—" Jinshi attempted, but you were already turning on your heel.

"I will return with ice." You didn't miss the way Jinshi's face fell and his eyes cut to Gaoshun who shook his head in return.

Your fast paced adventure led you to the main hall, where people were moving in and out. Various officers and servants filled the area, finding their rooms or helping their masters and fellow officers to their own rooms. Everyone appeared to be feeling the heat as they wiped their brows. Much like you, they appeared to be attempting to defeat the heat.

You found your way towards an attendant who helped you get something situated for Kousen. Something that brought you both distaste and irritation. Something to be addressed at a later time.

Joy filled you as you turned around, ice would soon be in the room and you could crowd around it like it was a new lover.

As you were about to make your way back to the room, you ran into someone.

You were about to apologize when they whirled around and you let out an audibly sigh that conveyed your unwavering exhaustion for them.

"Hey, watch where— Oh, hey, " Lihaku blinked, kind face twisted up in vague recognition. “You’re that lady-in-waiting. What are you doing out here?”

“I’m on loan from Jinshi-sama,” you answered rather flatly, not missing the small frown accompanying the man’s face.

You were vaguely familiar with Lihaku. What with Maomao getting involved in the problems within the inner and rear palace, you were bound to make new acquaintances when she was dragging you around. Lihaku was the first one you had ran into. On orders to accompany the girl from Suiren, you had gotten to see her investigative skills firsthand. You were impressed, surely, when she had made the discovery about the potatoes. But the impression was overshadowed by Lihaku, who had spent the entire time chatting your ear off.

He was kind, handsome, and smart when it called for it. But you could tell that, like most officers, he had an airheaded vibe to him. One that deterred you from making things too complicated with him.

Friendly enough, and one of the few people that didn't seem to disinterest Maomao, you accepted his very vague and shadowed feature in your life.

"Well, that's nice of him." He said, clearly disinterested in where this conversation was going. "I'm glad to see a friendly face, though."

You offered a small smile, "As am I. Not many kind faces around here often."

"You can say that again." You hear a loud inhuman snort and a tug on your gown, taking a large step back, you look down. A large dog with drool leaking out from the sides of its mouth stared back at you. "Oh, hey, boy, no!"

"O-Oh my." You uttered, slightly breathless as you looked at the large beast.

Lihaku glanced at you, offering a withering smile, "Eh, sorry, he gets excited around new people— not a great trait in a dog like this, you would think, but he's a real gem. Just has his moments. Hey, now—"

Lihaku pulled out something metal and brought it to his lips, then blew. It emitted little to no sound, at least, any you could truly hear, making your perk up when the dog tilted his head and sat respectfully before the officer. He blew again and the dog laid. Again, and the dog stood on all fours.

You smiled softly, watching in wonder as it obeyed whatever silent orders it was getting from Lihaku.

"He's very smart." You observed as the dog sat down again.

"Right?" Lihaku beamed, "I can get him to come running from kilometers away if need be."

"Useful when you're in a bind."

"For sure!" Lihaku's demeanor reminded you of a proud father as he puffed his chest and looked distastefully towards the cages lined up outside. "He's real smart, yet they still want to use those birds in the end."

You didn't want to point out the various problems that could come with using a dog; as there were probably another list of various pros to actually use the dog. The hawks had been used for years and you doubt that some dogs would be taking their place any time soon. It'd probably be a long time before these arrogant men came to their senses and found better means. Despite dogs being loyal and determined to their cause, the hawk would always be chosen.

Or, the better alternative, they didn't do this hunt anymore.

But you knew that was a longshot.

It wasn't long after that you bid Lihaku a farewell and good luck on his duties, making your way back to the room. You exchanged pleasant smiles and greetings with familiar faces, but nothing that kept you from relaxing much longer.

When you returned to the room, everyone had found their own areas and activities to occupy themselves. Gaoshun and Basen were playing Go near the windows, Maomao was reclining on the floor where a sliver or air was flowing through (from where, you weren't completely sure). Jinshi was back to sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Something that was quickly disregarded as you gently closed the door behind you.

"The ice should be up soon." You informed the room with a respectful bow.

Jinshi didn't look at all interested, "What took you so long?" It sounded like contempt. Irritation if you had to really dig. Something that made you falter.

You look up and see the pout on his lips— childish, as always. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jinshi-sama. I happened to run into a friend and got caught up in conversation." You apologized softly. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him more annoyance and disturbance.

He straightened considerably, "A friend?"

You didn't like the way it was spoken. A touch of disbelief was enough for you to eye him with your own distaste. Even if you and Lihaku were nothing more than strangers with vague familiarity with one another.

"Yes, a friend." You confirmed with thin lips. Despite your inner voice telling you to reign in your attitude, you upturn your nose and decide to join Maomao— whose eyes were shooting between the both of you with trepidation and vague sympathy. "He was being kind."

Jinshi huffed, "I didn't know you had any secret friends."

"Not a secret. Just don't find any time to speak about it with you, Jinshi-sama."

That made the man falter, a darkened shadow over his face. "I suppose." He frowned heavily now, squinting at you with something unreadable. "Who is this friend of yours?"

You, finding no reason to lie, continued on, "Officer Lihaku."

In an instant, three heads snapped to you with varying degrees of emotions. Maomao looked shocked, but welcomed the information with a shrug. Gaoshun looked pale and overwrought, for whatever reason you weren't entirely sure, but you had an itching feeling it had to do with Jinshi.

The same Jinshi that was now face down on the couch, letting out a miserable sound. Speaking into the fabric of it all, unintelligiable. But you swore you heard something along the lines of— "that second rate, again?!" As he continued to rant and cry.

With that, you decided it best to not involve yourself with whatever Jinshi was battling. You wouldn't win anyway.

You'd always hated Kousen-sama.

He almost always seemed to loom in the shadows. An masked man who held no personality or words of his own. Pleasantries offered out of necessity and not because that was simply the right thing to do. He was mysterious. He hardly appeared, but he was always there. A reminder for what things would return to one odd day. A symbol for exactly where your loyalties and master lied.

Kousen-sama was to always appear before others with his mask on. To avoid them seeing the ghastly sight of scars and blemishes that adorned his skin because of his sickness (whatever that may be) and spare him the indecency of stares. He was unmoving. Stone amongst he lively environment that ate away at their lunches and softly conversed with one another.

Prince. The respectable Kousen-sama. The great son of the empire. The brave prince against all odds.

Oh, how much you hate Kousen-sama.

But you still had woken up early to help him pin his hair back. To slip his robes on. To delicately place the mask on, fingering the bangs out through the slits to allow some type of familiarity. You were his confidant. His reliable and kind servant.

As always, you and Basen stood behind Kousen-sama with your backs straight and eyes ahead. A pleasant servant on loan and stern guard, you both were familiar faces against the unrecognizable figure in front of you. It reminded the people exactly who was before them. Exactly who had decided to grace their presence.

Still, it brought you discomfort.

You still eyed Gaoshun in the corner of you eye. The older man sat at the other end of the table. Maomao standing behind him with a distant look in her eyes, obviously not paying attention to the things happening around her. Not entirely surprising, but you felt the overwhelming urge to scold her for her lack in etiquette.

Oh, you're starting to think like Suiren, aren't you?

Suddenly, Basen is tensing up beside you and Kousen-sama is turning his head away from a scowling Shishou. Your eyes snap between the two with a scowl of your own. Whatever that man had said—

Kousen-sama's hand clenches. So tightly that his knuckles turn white and he shakes. You know something isn't right. You had missed something. Something so obvious and you were too concerned about Gaoshun.

The man stands from his chair, the legs loudly clattering against the tiled and stone floor. You watch uneasily as Kousen-sama raises, takes a moment to collect himself, then practically speeds away from the room. You don't waste a moment to bring your sleeve covered hands to your mouth and make your own exit.

As you pass a concerned Maomao and Gaoshun, you hear a barely uttered whisper from the girl— heat. Food.

You try to hide your confusion and worry as you follow behind your master.

It doesn't take you long to find him.

Down the path, up against a tree, the masked figure was hunched and obviously breathing heavily. You draw closer, outstretching a hand to gently press it against the large expanse of his back.

"Kousen-sama, are you quite alright?" You ask softly, hunching slightly to capture a glimpse of his eyes from that slit in the fabric.

When you do, you're almost breathless. His violet eyes are alight with something distant and scornful. Eyebrows furrowed as he meets your own gaze.

"Y/N...?" He sounded vaguely surprised under it all, breathless himself. As if he couldn't quite believe that you were here in front of him.

You nod once, reaching out and grabbing ahold of one of the ties keeping the mask all together. "I'm going to remove this. No one is around."

His hand is suddenly wrapped around your wrist. Not tight or unrelenting, but enough to make you freeze. Warm and clammy skin against your own to make you feel scorched. You don't need to see his entire face to know that his jaw was clenched now.

"I can't," he said in all his self-assuredness, "Someone might still come."

What a pain. You thought to yourself as you draw in a heavy breath.

You don't waste a second to slip under his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and allowing him to lean most of his weight against you. "No worries, sir, I'll just find us some place where no one else is around."

You gently guide Kousen-sama from the line of trees and deep within it. Finding an oddly familiar path created within your mind to follow that takes you towards an overflowing waterfall. A loud crash of water hitting the rocks and body of water below that brought you a distant sense of comfort. The refreshing smell of the water hits your nostrils and you take a deep breath.

With Kousen-sama against you, you felt the sweltering heat hit you tenfold. But the mist from the waterfall brushed against your skin like a gently caress from an old lover.

This is it.

You stumble over to one of the few trees next to the waterfall and gently guide Kousen-sama to sit up against it. The man took a heavy breath and you finally felt a little at ease. Reaching forward, you moved to take the cloth off once again and then—

A loud thud and chunks of dirt hit your cheek.

You frowned, looking to the ground only a could feet away and saw a small crater. A sharp smell filled your senses and you stiffened. It was an unkind and almost putrid scent. The smoke from the small crater was the main cause.

"Eh—?"

You were suddenly cut off as Kousen-sama wrapped his arms around you, jerking you upwards and away from the tree. You would've basked in the way his body was pressed against your back or the way his fingers seemed to mold into your abdomen— you would've if it weren't for the loud crack in the air then the pieces of bark that flew through the air around you.

The tree that he had been pressed up against only moments ago was now split open with a piece of metal imbedded into the wood. It looked eerily similar to the same that had been in the ground moments ago.

"Is that a feifa?!" His voice pierced through your thoughts, oddly frantic and uneasy as he moved quickly from the tree and towards the river.

You glanced up at him and found him already staring down at you. Eyes narrowed and, if it weren't for the mask, his entire face would be scrunched up in that familiar distaste and panic. Yet he seemed eerily calm as he dragged you through the trees and into the water.

"Sorry, but this is gonna get a bit dramatic." His voice was soft against your head, warm breath caressing your hair as he wraps a protective arm around your head.

Your eyebrows raise, "Dramatic— WHAT?" You should've known his tone and choice of his words were a warning for what was to come, but you were still caught off guard.

He gave no indication that he was going to jump off the cliff.

"Jinshi, you goddamn idiot!"

You mustn't get ideas above your station.

The water was oddly clear. Even with the mix of the overflowing waterfall, under it all was peaceful and calm. Fishes and water like insects lived in harmony.

Cool and calm. Always.

You are there to serve your master.

The little boy's head burst from the water with a big grin, short hair flat against his head and dripping. The sun reflecting off his violet eyes and almost blinded the little girl curled up on the side shore. Her face set into a scowl, clothes drenched, and a looming unimpressed older man behind her.

"It's so nice out, why don't you come in!" Beckoned the boy from the water.

The little girl shot him a nasty look, "You know why, you jerk!"

The boy's grin faltered, tilting his head at his friend, "Eh? Why are you being mean?" His voice wavered on the ends, still just floating in the middle of the basin.

"I'm not mean! You're mean! You're the biggest meanie!" The little girl stood up to throw an accusatory finger at the boy, her sleeve heavy and uncomfortable as she moved.

The boy's face reddened, eyebrows scrunched together, "I'm not mean! You're mean!" He repeated.

"No, you are! You're the biggest meanie in the whole wide world!"

"No, you are!"

"You are! You pushed me into the water!"

"You are! You should swim!"

"I hope you drown, meanie!"

The boy's expression fell completely. A heartbroken glint in his eyes flooding them. His lips trembled. But, before he could do something like cry, he was already swimming deeper

Nothing less, nothing more.

"Now, now," a large hand rested on the little girl's shoulder and gently tugged her back, turning her around to face the man. He seemed to be trying to appear as tender as he could to try calm down the girl's high nerves. "No need to get angry."

"But, Gaoshun—" The little girl whined.

Gaoshun shook his head, patting her shoulder, "No, we don't argue. Try to forgive and forget, yeah?" He reminded the lessons that he'd attempted multiple times to teach the two children. "No reason to walk around with resentment for others, right?"

The little girl scoffed her shoe against the ground, a pout on her lips, "Do I have to, Gaoshun?" She knew what this would call for. Exactly how this would end for her.

The man heaved a sigh, nodding, "Yes, you do. Now, go reconcile. I'll wait here."

The girl faltered as the man raised to his full height, cupping his hands behind his back. She dragged her feet through the soft soil and found her way towards the boy once more. He was grasping onto the edge of the bank, sniffling and snorting. His shoulders shook and his face was stuffed into his arms.

The little girl frowned. "Um... Are you okay?"

The boy stiffened, not turning around as he answered, "No."

"I'm sorry, I said something real mean." The little girl uttered, stepping closer as she clutched her wet clothes. "I just... You pushed me into the water, I can't..."

"I thought you were my friend!" The little boy whirled around on her, face red and eyes filled with big tears. He looked enraged but incredibly disheartened. The girl blinks in return as the boy glares. "You say such mean things to me. Friends aren't supposed to be mean!"

The girl clenched her jaw, "You were mean to me first!" She accused.

The boy sniffled, wiping under his nose with his forearm. "You're my friend." He repeated as if that cleared up any anger.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The little girl slowly sat beside him, her feet dipping under the water. "It is nice." She whispered.

The little boy dragged his eyes upwards, looking hurt but hopeful. "Right?" he asked, equally as quiet.

"You're my friend too, Jinshi." The little girl nudge him with her leg.

Jinshi's eyes twinkled, wide and all too bright, "Really?"

"Really." The little girl confirmed with a toothless grin. "My friend forever and ever!"

Jinshi positively beamed, the water sloshing as he jumped happily. "Forever and ever, and ever!"

"And ever!"

"It's no longer... appropriate for you and Jinshi-sama to be friends."

"I don't... I don't understand. He's my friend."

"His mother no longer finds it appropriate for you to concern yourself with Jinshi."

"But, Gaoshun—"

"No, Y/N. It's over. Come along. Suiren has a present for you."

"He's.... He's my friend...."

"I'm so sorry."

You are to give your life to your master.

The woman paused, back pin straight, as she entered her master's office, finding him curled up in the corner, muttering nonsensically to himself. The guard of said master was watching on with a pitiful expression of his own, only breaking his eyes away when the woman entered the room. His expression only seemed to deepen.

She didn't need to ask. There was an unspoken understanding as to what their master's breakdown was regarding. The Apothecary. The one that had gotten the attention of everyone in the palace as of late. The one that had been causing her great grief as of late— and was about to create more.

"Jinshi-sama?" The woman called softly, stepping closer.

Jinshi's lifeless eyes continued to stare at the floor below him. A gentle rocking seeming to soothe himself from the rages of his mind. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Thank you, kindly." He uttered just as lifelessly.

The devoted servant's chest clenched. Her face flushed as she reached out a wavering hand. To place it delicately against his hunched back. To offer her best comforting words that she could. To distract him away from her.

Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

She faltered. This wasn't her place. This wasn't a part of her duties unless Jinshi said so. Inappropriate behavior wasn't called for. It will be punished severly.

Retracting her hand, she stands, and offers a respectful bow. "Please call me if you need anything, Jinshi-sama." And left him in his dark corner.

"Gaoshun, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Jinshi-sama."

"You have been in my life for as long as I can remember. You remember more than I possibly could about my younger years. Whatever happened to cause me and Y/N to fall apart?"

"...."

"It had to be around the time I was eight that I noticed we were growing apart. Even now, I see it so clearly."

"It's been a long time, Jinshi-sama. You're no longer children."

"All the more reason to know, isn't it?"

"I don't know...."

"Gaoshun, nothing will come of it. I'm simply curious."

"..."

"I'm sorry to put you in this position. Please return to what you were doing."

"Jinshi-sama.... you might not like the truth..."

"I usually don't."

"Where to begin.... Before her eighth birthday—"

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"H....E—"

Everything felt so muffled. Faraway. Featherlight.

Was that a pressure against your chest? A thump that came into quick successions, then stopped. For something soft and ever so delicate to press against your lips?

Everything was distant. So far away from your grasp. From your state of being. As if you were already long gone from whatever reality you were in moments ago.

"H—"

It was almost like floating. A gentle sway and a crack.

A joyful gliding against the sky that soothed you away from worries and woes.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

Repeating endlessly. Happily. Wetly?

Thump. Thump. Lips.

You welcomed it. Whatever it was. Whatever kept the rhythm. The wonderful rhythm.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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THUMP. THUM—

You shot up with a cough.

Your throat burned and head ached terribly. Your eyes almost felt like they were about to pop out of your head and roll away. You felt horrible.

It didn't help that you were drenched from head to toe either.

Beside you, there was a heavy and loud sigh of relief as he fell to his backside. He let a silence fall over you both as you recovered, hand pressed against your throat and heaving.

Jesus. Had you almost...

The thought alone almost made you sick.

"I'm sorry. I thought.... I didn't think you still couldn't swim." His voice was soft, barely heard over the waterfall. Kind and cautious, worried and terrified. Things that seeped from his tone as if it were bleeding out and bearing all its insides to you.

Exposing him to you.

You peeked over your loose strands of hair to glare viciously at him. "When would I have the time to learn to swim?" You shot back ruthlessly, not entirely caring from etiquette in this moment. "You've lost your mind."

"Right." Jinshi immediately agreed, almost looking fearful as he watched you.

You push yourself up and take in a deep breath, coughing slightly at the burn of your throat. Taking in your surroundings, you swore that this was that—

"Are you really alright?"

You glanced back at the man and found him still sat on the damp ground. His eyebrows are furrowed and a small frown on his lips as he stared up at you. It made you uncomfortable. To see such a glittering violet staring back at you earnestly. Honestly.

You instead clutch onto your dress, "Suiren is gonna kill me." You scoff, tugging the garments apart.

You could hear Jinshi sputter behind you. The gravel and dirt below him crunching as he probably scrambled up from his spot.

You spared a feeble look over your shoulder to find him with his eyes clenched slowed, hand covering your body from his gaze. You snap your gaze back around and tug the fabric a little too hard as you scoff.

You wouldn't deny the pang of hurt that clenched your chest.

"Don't worry, Jinshi-sama, you won't have to see my unruly body of mine for long. I just want to make sure Suiren doesn't slaughter me when we return."

"I— No, I'm just— okay." He finally muttered.

You are stripped down to your underthings, placing the dress and various pieces on the ground as delicately as you can to avoid too much dirt being stained into the fabric.

As you place the last bit of clothing down, you hear the flutter of fabric behind you.

Jinshi is a bright red, gently tossing his robe down behind him. His back is facing you and you know its for whatever mock sense of modesty he wants to give the both of you. You instinctively reach out and take his robe in your grasp, twisting it and squeezing it to watch out a fair amount of water drip out.

"You worry about mine later. Take care of your things first."

Yeah, right, You think as you twist it with an unrelenting grip. You are there to serve your master. It's one of the first things you learn. His needs came before your own. His needs were your needs.

Jinshi snatched the robe away and squeezed the fabric tight, an overflowing amount of water released from the cloth and into the ground.

Okay, so maybe he was better at it than you.

You nod, turning your attention towards your own garments and try to ignore the overwhelming feeling that you had eyes on your rear.

"So, um—" Jinshi cleared his throat when his eyes dragged away from you, cheeks a bright red. "What now?"

"Well, we could attempt at trying to swim back—"

"You can't swim."

"I was going to say that."

"Oh, sorry."

There's a soft silence between the both of you as you finish up. Gently redressing, you make your way towards the entrance of the cave, where the waterfall is blocking it from any negative eyes. You press your lips into a thin line and regard it bitterly. You remember this waterfall.... you could recall the times you whimsical pondered what it'd be like to ride down it like in those stories.

Jinshi had promised such when you both were too young and too dumb to realize how naïve dreams like that were.

You couldn't really judge that mini-you, for you had your own dreams of—

"Remember when Gaoshun first brought us here?"

You hadn't realized that Jinshi made his way over until he was standing beside you. Robes lose over his shoulders and tugging on his top layer. Violet eyes were watching the water as if it were a canvas of memories in the long distant past. Something to be admired and viewed with daisies and smiles. Not to be addressed as anything but good or amazing. Not to see the truth of it all.

You press your lips together, drawing in a heavy breath, "I remember you pushing me in the water and Gaoshun having to pull me out."

Jinshi's face screws up slightly, a faint blush on his features as he almost looks around with shame. "Right...." He straightens, "I'm sorry."

You blink, "Huh?"

Jinshi glances at you with a small smile, "I, uh, never really apologized back then. Made you apologize like you did something wrong." He explains weakly.

You raise an amused brow, "I told you I wished you would drown."

"I kinda deserved it!" Jinshi counters, his lips cracking into a grin. That charming grin he gets that makes your heart flutter. Make you hopeful for terrible and wistful. "I'm real sorry."

You smile softly, eyes kind and soft as you regard him, "I forgave you a long time, Jinshi-sama."

Jinshi's expression faltered, "Don't call me...." He trailed off awkwardly, turning his attention back to the unrelenting waterfall. You watched him for that moment. That split second where it looked like he was actually going to say something that would make you lightheaded. His jaw working and the muscle jumping as he seems to contemplate his next words.

Say anything and I'll cling to it, You think, watching his lips part, I always have. I always will.

"I'm surprised you were the one that followed me out. I thought the Apothecary might've done it."

You tense. That was certainly not what you expected him to say. Of all the things he could say? The Apothecary.

The waterfall in front of you is suddenly much too loud and violent. The cave seems to darken and your eyes drag from Jinshi to stare at your bare feet. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't he want Maomao? Why had you even came here? Who were you to get between whatever silent signal he was trying to send to the other girl.

Him and Maomao. It was nicer than him and you. Jinshi and Y/n.

You straighten, pushing down any ill thoughts and heavy feelings into the dark pits of your chest and mind. "I apologize for the intrusion. I thought it'd make more sense for me to accompany you, Jinshi-sama."

"Why are you apologizing....?" He trailed off and then made a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a caught man. "No, wait, I'm really glad that you're the one who came! Like really glad!"

"You don't have to spare me, Jinshi-sama. I'm a woman now, not a little girl."

"I'm not—" He visibly slumps, closing his eyes and trying to collect whatever thoughts he has and place them appropriately. He draws in a breath and faces you, looking oddly serious compared to his usual self. "I'm not trying to spare your feelings. I was just trying to say that— Well, it's not— I want you here, Y/n."

He's sparing your feelings. He's being kind. He doesn't actually want you there. You can't be friends.

You don't spare him a response. Instead, walking further into the cave. You raise your eyebrows, looking at the gaping hole above you where light and the sounds of nature filtered in. What could possibly get you both out of there...?

Whistle. Sit.

Of course. Him.

Jinshi sighs, "I spoke to Gaoshun before we—"

You place your fingers in the corner of your mouth and blow. A loud whistle bounces off the cave walls and out of the hole. You wait and hope to hear a bark or see the familiar tall man, but there's nothing.

"What are you doing?" Jinshi asks slowly, glancing between you and the hole above.

"Hello?" You cup your hands over your mouth and shout as loudly as you can. "Is anyone out there?"

Jinshi frowns, staring at you uneasily, "Y/n, please, we don't want to attract them this direction."

In the mess of almost drowning and seeing peeps of Jinshi's bare skin, you'd almost forgotten that you both had been chased down here by some violent assassin. Rather foolish, if you were honest.

You place the tips of your fingers against your lips and try to force the blush spreading across your cheeks off. "Sorry." You offer a bow of your head, despite the position you both find yourselves in.

You receive no response which causes you to peek at him. The stare that he's leveling you with doesn't bring you any type of comfort. It usually meant he was about to say something that—

"Hop on my back and see if you can reach up there."

—you wouldn't like.

Your eyebrows shot upwards and you stared at him with wide eyes. If Suiren was here and knew what he just proposed, she'd positively lose her mind. No matter how long she had known you— she'd think it improper. He was your boss and you were his lowly servant. To be in an position above him or treating him like a mat, it was...

It was simply ridiculous.

"But—"

"If you're the one below, you'll get crushed." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Do it."

And that's how you ended up here. Legs wrapped around Jinshi's shoulders and heads, hand reaching out for the dirt above. You dig your fingers in and glance down at the man below you.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

Jinshi sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day, his hand on your thigh squeezing gently. "Y/N, please stop asking me that."

You grimace, "My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry." You shakily raise from your place, ignoring the soft and deep grunt Jinshi gives as you stand on his shoulders.

You dig your nails into the damp dirt and begin to tug yourself up.

This is it. Finally, you could get into the open forest once again. You're not going to be suffocated by his presence. Everything will return back to its rightful places—

You froze when it smacked you in the forehead.

You tried to keep calm as you felt the slimy breathing thing rest on your skin. Body tensed up and eyes staring widely at the bright sky above.

"Y/N?" Jinshi softly called, noticing the way you tensed.

"F—Frog." You utter, jaw clenched tight and you felt it shift as you take a deep breath. "A frog."

Jinshi blinked, looking up at you with his own wide eyes, "Hey, don't-don't freak out! Just shake your head and it'll hop off."

You shake a little, but follow his instructions. However, you may have overestimated the shake as you lose your grip on the dirt and begin to fall back.

"Hey!"

The tumble down is short and not all that hurtful, like you had been expecting. You had closed your eyes in anticipation, fear of having to watch the ground quickly approach too much for your tiny heart. You expected to feel the damp mud to be seeping into your clothes and little bits of stone and bark digging into your skin. However—

Nothing.

There was nothing except the soft silk under your fingers. The scent that resembled a sweet fruit, one that you had smelt quite often in the mornings. In the noons, the evenings, the nights, repeat. You knew that smell and that familiar beat against your own chest.

Peeking your eyes open, you find that Jinshi is already staring back at you. The first thing you notice is that you both are extremely close to one another. His breath fans against your dewy face, making goosebumps raise off your skin and a shiver sent down your spin. Next is his tender expression, Eyes gentle and twinkling. His expression isn't filled with pain or anything that would indicate that he was uncomfortable with the very short distance between you both. The last thing you notice is the fact that your body is pressed against his.

Your complexion flushes and you blink down at him.

He's warm. Incredibly warm. A sharp contrast to his damp clothes, which are open and pooling under his shoulder blades, revealing his bare chest to you. Your breath is ripped from you as you stare at the plump skin. You've seen it a million times. Every day as you help him get ready for the day. It should be normal. Should be something that doesn't make you lightheaded.

But it does.

He's right there. Right against you. You can feel his heartbeat ramming against his chest and into yours. You can feel every small breath he takes—as if hanging onto this moment with, what? Trepidation? Unease? You weren't entirely sure but you knew that you felt light.

Was it so bad that you felt nice in this moment? That this warmth was wrong? Was it so out of your reach that you simply couldn't imagine a man wanting to embrace you in a way?

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

Yes. It was.

You clenched your jaw, ignoring the tender look in Jinshi's eyes as you try to bring your mind into the present.

The frog.

It wasn't anything that you wanted to touch, but Jinshi was your master. Your discomforts and fears must be pushed away for his sake and needs.

Reaching down, you feel for any signs of the frog. It wasn't large, but it wasn't entirely small either. It wouldn't be hard to find in all it's slimy and— There it is.

Your hand brushed it and you feel almost elated to find it. Your hand cupped around the bulge from Jinshi's robes. It feels much bigger than the average frog that'd been on your forehead. It was unmoving to, except for the small twitch it gives as you rest your palm down. You gripped it.

"Hng," Jinshi grunts, his eyes close. You're a little shocked as his hips shift, his hands at your hips dig into your flesh, almost too eager. You snap your eyes upward to his suddenly sweating and flushed face. "I-I'm sorry, but... but could you move your hand? It's making things, um, rather difficult."

Difficult?

You grip onto the twitching frog below you—

"U-Uh—" Jinshi moans in a deep and guttural way that would make anyone, especially you, malfunction. It doesn't help that his hands latch onto you harder, pressing you closer and releasing a stuttering breath against your ear.

Why was he squirming so much? Why was his face so red and dripping with sweat? Why was his chest heaving and his hands flexing around your skin? And why was this thing twitching and getting bigger in your hold....

Oh.

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

You felt a little sick at your intrusion. At the gall. You couldn't believe yourself. You had violated one of the single rules you were ever given. You violated Jinshi's space. His entire being. You were to be punished and hated— ousted from your position.

Disgusted with yourself, you slowly stand up. Jinshi's softly panting from his position on the ground, running a hand through his mused hair.

"S-Sorry, I haven't— I'm a bit—" Jinshi's obviously embarassed and uncomfortable. Look what you've done. You've ruined it all. "Hey, where are you going?"

Before you could think much more as his hands grip your hips once again and pull you down.

You're sat on his his lap and you could feel it.

"J-Jinshi-sama, I'm so-I'm so sorry!" You tucked your head down, shaking with trembling lips.

Jinshi's hands fall to your thighs, limp, "Eh...?"

"What I did was truly inappropriate and-and I will take any and all punishment!"

"Punishment...?" He sounded terribly confused, still a bit breathless. You keep your head ducked and he remains unmoved. "Why would I... you're not getting punished."

"I give my life to you. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished." You repeated softly under your breath, tucking your hands against your face to hide away from his gaze. From the judgement and hatred. "It's only just."

There's a longstanding silence between the both of you and you're hopeful that he's coming to his senses. That you'd be released and freed. That you would finally accept the gap and space between them. To fall away, finally, to the shadows.

It was tarnished the moment Jinshi wraps your hands around your own, gently prying your hands away from your face.

He doesn't look vengeful or angered. No. No, he looks kind. As he always has been. Kind and considerate. Honest and open. He'd always been so...

He'd never really been angry with you. Not without sadness being overbearing. Always so quick to forgive you. To push everything away with a smile and crinkle of his eyes.

"Y/N..." His words are as soft as his expression.

Your hands shake, "Please... Please hate me." You pleaded quietly, pressing your forehead against his hands as if he were a monk to be begged to.

"I'm not going to punish you or... or anything of the sort. Why would you want that?"

You draw in a watery breath, shoulders shaking, "It's easier to let go that way." You admitted.

"Let go of what?"

"Of my love for you."

"What?!"

His shout echoed off the cave walls. Your humiliation and embarrassment was quick to follow once it bounced back at you. Made you flinch back and try to push yourself back from his lap. Why did you say anything? Fool. Disgusting fool.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jinshi's hands wrap around your wrists and tug you forward a bit. You refuse to meet his eye. You refuse to be humiliated and demeaned— "Don't do that. Don't close off."

You clench your jaw and try to push the humilation deep within you, taking a deep calming breath as you stared at his bare collar. "You're so kind and so... you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or disgusted, but I need to tell you. And then I would hope that you would let me go."

Jinshi's eyebrows shot up. "Let you go?"

You've been thinking about this for some time. That it all would be better if, in the end, you were to serve someone else. That you were pawned off for some soldier instead of this slow torture. This uncomfortable, unbearable tiptoeing.

"I would like for you to offer me to a soldier or anywhere else."

The reaction is instant. The way Jinshi's complexion darkens and he stares at you with wide eyes. He slumps into the damp ground and almost turns into putty. His hold on you slackens and gives you ample opportunity to move away. But you're frozen in your spot.

"Why would I do that?" Jinshi's voice is quiet, slow, "You're... You're mine."

A blush takes over your cheeks, "Jinshi-sama, It's not appropriate! I shouldn't be like this with you."

"What if I like it?"

You blink at him. "Huh?"

Jinshi leans forward, his thumb gently skirting against your skin. "What if I have some love for you too? What if I don't care about what's appropriate or follows the rules."

I would ask who you are. You were tempted to say but your mouth was clamped shut in shock. Following the rules had been completely him. He was put in his current position now to ensure the rules in the rear palace were being followed diligently. The thought that he would love someone like you when there were people like Maomao or princesses out there. People much more deserving of his devotion. It wasn't right.

As if sensing you're not believing him, he pulls away and presses his lips thin. "Okay, I'll convince you." He straightens up and takes a breath. "I spoke to Gaoshun not too long ago. Before we came here and I know everything now."

A pause. Everything. He knew everything now? Everything is so much. Everything is... well, everything. What exactly had Gaoshun told him?

"What's everything?"

"That my mother didn't want you around anymore. That Gaoshun told you that you weren't allowed around me anymore. That you stopped being my friend and became my employee."

Your stare up at Jinshi with wide eyes. "That's not...Us being friends wasn't right anymore."

Jinshi frowned, shaking his head and his hands slide up to your arms. "If I had my way, I would've had you by my side all that time. Not as some lady-in-waiting, but as my equal."

You shake your head, ignoring the erratic beating of your heart against your chest. "Don't say that. Don't say things you don't mean, Jinshi." You beg softly.

Jinshi reaches out, wrapping his hands around your own, pressing it against his chest. "I mean it with everything in me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever been separated from you. Forget what my mother said." His words were sweet, tempting. They made you lightheaded. So did the sudden brightness and tender smile on his face. "That's the first time you've called me Jinshi since we were kids."

"What? I've always called you Jinshi."

"No, you've always called me Jinshi-sama."

"Oh."

You suppose you had.

"Jinshi," You utter, unsure of what else you both could say.

Jinshi's expression, if possible, softens further, leaning forward an inch. "Yes?" He whispers back just as softly.

Your eyes trail between his eyes before moving to his lips, parted and glistening, "Jinshi..."

Jinshi's hand slides up your thigh and his lips are ghosting against yours, "I'm here. I promise." He whispers before pressing your lips together delicately.

Your heart soars. Your hands shakily press against his cheeks, drawing closer as his own press your hips together. He's soft. He's tender. He's cautious and all encompassing. Filling your senses and making you lightheaded.

As you both part for a breath, he flips you onto your back. His hand grips the underside of your thigh and presses you close enough that he lets out a soft and broken sound.

His eyes are heavily lidded as he gazes down at you, lips pink. "I just want you. No one else. I promise." He utters.

You twist your hands into his hair, eyes fluttering. "You're it." You pass back.

His lips are back on yours. Wet and eager. This is sudden. Fast. But you've been waiting for so long. Had been clinging onto the smallest of things. Desperate to have this closeness that you had now. To feel his skin against yours. His breath mixing with your own. Everything him and everything you intertwined.

You just wanted to cherish this—

WOOF!

You and Jinshi both tense up, jumping. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widen upon finding a familiar dog staring down at you both, wagging tail eager and happy to see you.

Jinshi's eyebrows furrow, "Huh...?"

There's not much warning before the dog is jumping down. Landing straight on Jinshi's back, causing the poor man to let out a pained sound. He's squishing you against the ground as the dog stands on his back, happily lapping his tongue against your cheek.

Vague disgust and disappointment wash over you, but you smile all the same. "Oh, boy!"

He barks again. A greeting you're sure.

Above, Lihaku and, surprisingly, Maomao appear. Both of them stare down at you with varying degrees of emotions. Lihaku looked excited and kinda like his dog, while Maomao.

Well, Maomao looked all too knowing.

"Well, you look rough!" Lihaku called down with a grin, "Glad to see you're not dead."

"As am I!" You huff out a laugh, then look to Maomao. "Hello, Xiaomao!"

"Hello." Maomao said flatly, she looked lower and her face screwed up distastefully. "Is Jinshi-sama okay?"

Lihaku then he spots his dog and slightly pales, letting out a sharp whistle. "C'mon, boy!"

The dog eagerly jumps off Jinshi, going to sit by your head and wag his tail. The man above you sighs in relief, pushing up off you. He sits up and you try not to focus on the bright blush on his face.

"Why did he do that?" The royal asks.

"Must've thought something was wrong." Lihaku rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at you both. "What... exactly where you two doing?"

You and Jinshi glance at one another, furious blushes flushing over you both. Despite anything that Jinshi said, there were things that you weren't allowed to do. Rules and laws that forbid something like this form happening the public eye. For a man like himself from being with a woman like you. A servant with a beautiful prince.

Protecting him was the priority.

"Nothing!" You shout back, ignoring the eyebrow raise that garnered from both Jinshi and Maomao.

Everything was better left alone. A secret between the both of you. To cherish and hold for however long it may need. You could deal with the anger and longing later.

#✩࿐ t writes #jinshi x reader #apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries x reader #jinshi #jinshi x y/n #jinshi x you #Kusuriya no Hitorigoto x reader #Kusuriya no Hitorigoto #request #anon

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jiniretracha · 3 months ago

Text

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐲 - Jeon Jungkook (3)

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader / Park Jimin x fem!reader (but not quite, you'll see)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Future smut

Summary: You were supposed to spend your happily ever after with Jeon Jungkook... until a family issue causes him to leave and a sudden break up leaves you bereft in the arms of your best friend, Park Jimin.

Word count: 6.1k

PS: this is heavily entirely inspired in the last two episode of True Beauty (so consider this a huge spoiler if you haven't seen it) cause i've been a fan of it since it came out and I just had to do something about it lol

MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi // SERIES MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 3: 𝐢𝐦𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

Time stopped.

The cold you had felt minutes prior had vanished the moment you laid your eyes on him.

You blinked a couple of times, trying to check if it wasn’t your mind playing tricks at you. It wouldn’t be the first time.

He was staring at you intensely. His eyes were red and bloodshot, like he had been crying.

“Y/N?” he asked.

God, how you’ve missed that beautiful voice of his.

You blinked a couple of times once again, but this time, to keep yourself from crying.

“Y/N…” he repeated and walked towards you. He stopped til he was right in front of you.

You wanted to run.

But you were paralyzed. Utterly and completely paralyzed in your spot. You tried moving your feet but they were glued to the ground like they had been cemented.

Your eyebrows were pinched in the middle as your vision completely blurred with tears.

“I… I rushed over here as soon as I landed” he told you, his eyes getting teary as well, and he forced a little smile. “And you’re here”

You tried speaking but you could only open your mouth and close it.

He framed your face with his hands, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks, brushing the tears that had fallen from your cheeks without you realizing.

His touch.

Oh, how much you had missed that warm touch of his. No man could ever compare to him because he had always held your face like you were the most delicate flower and he was afraid your petals would fall if he touched you too roughly.

You couldn’t concentrate on anything else rather than the pads of his thumbs caressing the apple of your cheeks.

“Your face is cold” he said, his tone was sad. “You’re freezing, Jagi”

Your heart soared in your chest at the nickname but you quickly grabbed his hand and pulled it forcefully away from your face.

You took a whole step back away from him and scoffed. “Why did you come back?” you asked him, staring at his chest, not wanting to make eye-contact with Jungkook.

Jungkook brought his hands to his side. “Because I missed you” he said as a tear ran down his cheek.

You let out a humourless chuckle. “But we broke up” you reminded him and more tears fell from his eyes. “No. You broke up with me. So, why would you miss me? We are not together anymore” you shrugged.

“Still” he insisted. “I missed you” he shrugged with a sad chuckle. “I missed you so much”

He stared at you for a moment and you did the same.

Jungkook stepped a little closer to you and tried to grab your hand but you pulled it away with a shake of your head.

“I… I didn’t miss you” you lied as you cried. His eyebrows pinched in the middle of his forehead and his chin quivered. “You can’t- you can’t just come back and say those things to me” you shook your head. “You can’t expect me to tell you that everything’s okay, Jungkook. That- that I missed you, too”

Jungkook looked down and let out a little cry.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair to me?” you cried as well. “Do you even know how hard it was for me? Everything. Not knowing how you were, how your dad was… not being able to have a proper conversation with you because at some point you just stopped replying to me”

“I know-”

“No, you don’t know shit, Jungkook. You don’t know shit!” you cried, pushing his chest. “I’ve been miserable because of you. Miserable!” you yelled while pointing at him with your finger.

Jungkook could only cry as you took out your anger on him.

“And the worst part? The worst part-” you stopped yourself.

You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction.

“I’m gonna go” you said with a broken cry, shaking your head.

You turned around and started running towards the stairs.

“Y/N!” he called out, running after you.

He wasn’t going to let you go that easily.

As you ran down the stairs, you felt him tug on your arm and you pushed him away. “Let go of me! I don’t want to see you right now, Jungkook” you spat.

You took two steps down and then gasped when a sharp pain hit your stomach.

“Jagi!” he gasped, grabbing your arm and back. “Hey, look at me, are you okay?” he asked, holding your face.

“No! Just go!” you groaned, still holding your stomach with your hand.

You took one step more and then fell to your knees with a cry.

“Hey, come on. We have to go to the hospital, Jagi” Jungkook said, sweeping you in his arms and holding you bridal style all the way down.

At that point, you stopped fighting.

For starters, your stomach hurt so bad you lost every coherent thought you had. And also, you missed his touch, even if you hated to admit it, so you were going to soak up the feeling of being in his arms, at least one last time.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jungkook stared at your sleeping body as he sat next to your hospital bed.

He chewed on his lip while rolling his piercing with his tongue. His hand went to brush your hair out of your face and he let out a shaky breath as he stared at you.

“You shouldn’t be sick” he whispered. “I’m so tired of seeing the people I love… in a hospital bed”

He let his finger caress your cheek and his eyes slid shut at the feeling of your skin once again.

You stirred in your sleep and your eyes blinked open a couple of times.

Your eyes widened when you saw him, and then you recalled everything.

Namsan.

The stranger.

Your wallet.

Jungkook.

“How did I get here?” you asked, even if you already knew the answer to that. “What are you doing here? I told you to leave”

Jungkook frowned. “How could I just leave?” he asked in a whisper.

You sighed. “Leave, Jungkook. It wouldn’t be the first time anyways”

He shook his head, trying to shake off your comment as well. “I’m not leaving” he stubbornly said.

You sat up with a scoff. “Then I’m leaving” you mumbled angrily and yanked the blanket off of your lap.

A doctor walked towards you and smiled. “How are you feeling now?” he asked, digging his hands in his pockets.

“I feel fine” you said curtly, cursing the doctor internally for preventing you from leaving the room.

“What does she have?” Jungkook asked, standing up. “Is it serious?”

“Yes, and no” the doctor smiled at Jungkook.

“If it’s not serious then why is she hurting so badly?” he asked, raising his voice a little.

The doctor chuckled and looked at you. “Your boyfriend is fiercely protective about you, isn’t he?” he asked you.

You frowned. “He’s not my boyfriend” you shook your head.

“Right, my bad. Are you taking any sort of pills daily?” he asked you.

Your eyes drifted down to your lap and you nodded your head. “Yeah”

“Which ones?” the doctor asked you and Jungkook turned to look at you.

You blurted out the name of the pills that the previous doctor had given you the recipe for. The pills that helped you calm your anxiety.

Jungkook’s eyes widened.

“Oh, are you taking them every day? Being consistent?” he asked you, arching an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Sometimes, yeah” you said quietly.

The doctor hummed. “You should be taking them every day if a doctor prescribed them for you” he told you. “It’s important”

“I know” you replied.

“Okay, I’d believe that’s the solution to your stomach pain, miss. It’s important that you take them so they stop” he said. “Did you drink alcohol today?”

You licked your lips as you fidgeted with your hands. “Yeah…” you sighed.

The doctor hummed. “Well, you shouldn’t drink while being on meds, miss” he told you. “One glass of beer is fine, or wine if you like. But it’s for the best if you not drink at all”

You nodded again, feeling dumb.

“Alright, that’s all for today. You kids can go home” he smiled at the two of you.

“Thank you, doc” Jungkook said and then let out a sigh when he walked away. He sat down next to you and put a hand on your shoulder, making you jump. “You’re taking pills?”

You scoffed and stood up from the bed. “Don’t act like you care about me, Jungkook. You can drop it already” you said and quickly walked out of the room.

“Hey, Y/N!” Jungkook called after you, following you out of the room.

He caught you in the hallway and you turned around with a sigh. “Let me go pay for this and we can talk, okay? Maybe I can drop you home” Jungkook pleaded, “You don’t even have to talk, you just need to listen to me”

You rolled your eyes and nodded.

He smiled slightly at you and it made your stupid heart do a turn. “Okay, wait here. Be right back” he said, digging his hand in his pocket to grab his wallet and walked towards the reception.

You eyed him and waited for him to be far enough away, and quickly made your way out of the hospital.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jungkook walked inside his old apartment with a long sigh and turned on the lights. It looked a little empty but it was still looking like he had never left.

He felt defeated. He had not expected to find you. But at the same time, he was sad that you had run out of the hospital without having a chance to talk to you or even have you close to him if he had the opportunity to drop you off at your house.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out, noticing it was his family’s employee, Mr. Hwang.

Mr. Hwang: I put your luggage in your room, sir.

Mr. Hwang: I didn’t get to give it to you because you left in a hurry. Where did you go?

He smiled at the text.

He had gone to Namsan because he was hoping you’d gotten to read the message behind the photo strip.

And you did.

You remembered.

Jungkook: It was snowing. It was the first snow

Mr. Hwang: Huh?

Mr Hwang: Sorry, sir. I don’t understand.

Jungkook: It’s okay, don’t worry.

Mr. Hwang: Alright.

Mr. Hwang: I parked your car at the garage. Left the keys by the table.

Jungkook: Got it.

Jungkook: Thanks for today.

He put his phone in his pocket and headed to his room.

Jungkook’s lips stretched into a smile when he saw the portrait by the nightstand, which had a picture of both of you, smiling big. It was still there after all this time.

You two looked so in love, like you knew that nothing would happen. And what a lie.

Jungkook sat on the bed with a little huff and took his phone out.

He scrolled down his contacts and came across yours.

With a click, he opened your contact and saw the call button, his finger hovering over it.

“Grow up, come on” Jungkook whispered to himself. “Grow some fucking balls”

He clicked on the button, calling you, and placing the phone up to his ear.

Meanwhile, you were sitting in your bed, back at your apartment, texting Jimin.

Jimin: you got home okay?

You chewed on your lip and replied to him.

You: just got back, chim

You: good night.

Jimin: good night <3

You smiled and then immediately frowned when your phone buzzed with an incoming call.

Jungkook was all you could read on your screen.

Your heart started beating wildly as you stared at your ex boyfriend call and you quickly declined it, throwing your phone on the bed.

Back at his home, Jungkook pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at his home screen.

You had declined it.

He let out a little sigh and decided to send you a text. When he opened your chat, he saw the last message you had sent him, specially those last sentences:

I won’t contact you anymore.

I promise.

I just felt like this was for the better. Writing a goodbye letter to get closure.

So that we can get some closure.

So that I can get some closure.

Goodbye.

He shook the feeling off and quickly sent you the text he wanted to send.

Jungkook: You got home okay?

His fingers hovered over the screen, itching to send another text but he decided not to.

He had something bigger to think about.

「 ✦ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐨𝐫

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 ✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The next day, Jimin had invited you to a restaurant you both often ate in for lunch. He had sensed you needed some cheering up, kind of like you always did, but for some reason, he felt like you needed it more than ever.

You were playing with your tteokbokki and when you finally threw it in your mouth, and started chewing it, you felt your eyes watering.

“Y/N, hey… are you crying?” Jimin asked you, placing his hand on yours.

You sniffled and shook your head. “It’s just… the tteokbokki is spicy” you tried chuckling.

Jimin frowned. “You’ve always handled the spice very well” he said, and threw a piece in his mouth.

You sniffled again and his eyes found yours. Now, you were fully crying. You lifted your hands up to your face to cover it, feeling embarrassed.

“Hey, you are crying, Y/N” he cooed, grabbing your hand as he chewed. “What happened? Did someone said something to you at work, did-”

“No, no, no” you shook your head.

Jimin made a confused face. “Then, why are you crying?” he asked you. “Did something happen?”

“I just- It’s Jungkook” you sighed. Jimin felt like kicking the chair he was currently sitting in. “I saw him yesterday”

Jimin pulled his face back. “What? Jungkook’s back?” he asked, his eyes widening almost like they were going to pop out of his head.

You nodded. “Yeah… and I didn’t want to see him. It wasn’t in my plans, but-” you cut yourself off with a sob. “I went to Namsan and I got your call, and everything was okay but then… he was there, I saw him there” you explained as you cried.

Jimin’s face softened.

“And I missed him. I missed him so much” you cried again.

“God, that prick” he muttered.

“He’s your friend, aren't you going to see him?” you asked him, wiping away your tears.

“He’s my best friend” Jimin nodded. “We’ve been talking every once in a while, when he was in the States and all, but… I’m not gonna lie and say that I liked what he did to you”

You nodded, eating more tteokbokki.

“I’ll probably go to his apartment later. Who knows” Jimin shrugged. “But tell me, did you guys talk or something?”

“He um… he took me to the hospital” you mumbled in a small voice.

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Excuse me? What?” he yelled.

“Shh!” you said, batting your hands at him. “Don’t shout!”

“Okay, okay. Sorry, but please explain yourself”

“I had anxiety pain, you know, the ones that kick in my stomach” you explained. “And he basically grabbed me and carried me to the hospital”

“And did they-”

“No, they just told me to keep taking my pills… cause I kind of stopped taking them” you shrugged, not meeting his eyes, knowing that you were going to disappoint him.

Jimin scoffed, “Y/N, you know how important it is for you to take those goddamn pills” he scolded you.

“I know” you said, your voice turning small.

“And did you guys talk?”

You looked at him and shook your head. “No, he told me he came back because he missed me. And I didn’t fucking believe him. Then, I ran away, had those bad stomach pains, he took me to the hospital, I ran away from the hospital, and here we are” you said with a sarcastic smile. “But other than that? Nothing”

Jimin nodded his head. “I could talk to him if you wanted to”

You quickly shook your head, “No, no. I don’t want you guys to fight and stop being friends because of what happened between me and him. That’s not fair. You shouldn’t pick a side” you reassured him.

He looked at you, like he wasn’t sure if you meant that.

“I’m gonna have to try harder now”

Jimin looked confused. “Try…?”

“Try to forget about him” you said, standing your ground. “Even if he’s around”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jimin left you by your building and drove off. With heavy legs and mumbling nonsense under your breath, you got into the elevator and punched the button to your floor.

You slumped against the elevator wall and tucked your head into the palms of your hands.

“Why is this shit happening to me?” you whispered.

The elevator dinged, meaning it had reached your floor and you walked out of it.

When you made a turn to walk to your door, you gasped.

Jungkook was there and he noticed your presence when he looked up.

“What a coincidence!” Jungkook smiled. “We meet here”

You frowned, confused to your core. “What’s this? What are you doing here? This is my apartment” you spat angrily and confused all at the same time.

He smiled at you again and you felt uncomfortable, feeling naked under his stare, making you shift.

You turned around and headed to the elevator without waiting for him to give you a response to your question.

“Where are you going?” he asked you, frowning, getting inside the elevator with you.

You didn’t answer him and punched the button to the lobby floor, trying to fleet away from there.

“Where are you going, Jagi?” Jungkook asked you, using that dumb nickname.

“Don’t follow me” you said sternly, trying to get as much space as you could, away from him.

“I’m not following you, I’m going out, too” he shrugged. “Another coincidence, don’t you think?”

You sighed and you felt like the elevator was going the slowest you’ve ever seen since you’ve lived there.

“Have you had lunch yet?” he asked you.

You ignored him once again.

“Can you at least look at me?” he asked you, his pleading voice making your knees weak.

You felt him walking closer to you and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“The first snow fell yesterday, why were you at Namsan?” he asked you and smirked. “You remembered me, right?”

You felt the doors of the elevator open and you basically jumped off, walking as fast as you could, away from Jungkook.

“Y/N!” he yelled after you, following you out. “Hey! Be careful with your stomach!”

You continued walking as fast as you could until you saw a taxi by the entrance of your building.

“Taxi!” you gasped and quickly threw yourself inside to the backseat of the car, shutting the door.

“Y/N!” he yelled and tried to get inside as well but the taxi sped off.

He let out a frustrated huff when he saw the taxi driving away.

He had to think of other ways to get to you.

「 ✦ 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 ✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You walked inside the salon you were working at and went to the front desk to find Karina typing away on a computer.

She smiled at you and then frowned.

“Hey, bubs, what are you doing here? Your shift doesn’t start in two hours” she asked you. “What’s with that long face?”

“Hi, long story short, Jungkook’s here and he’s following me and I need to work or else I’m gonna throw myself under a bus right here and I really want to continue living, so please check me in” you said out in a rush.

Karina’s eyes widened like plates at the sudden bomb of information you dropped on her.

“Oh…kay” she nodded slowly. “Please explain yourself and give a little context?”

You let out a sigh and dropped your head. “Basically, Jungkook’s back”

“He’s back? You’re kidding me!” Karina gasped.

“No. I’m not kidding you, and I went to Namsan after our night out at the bar yesterday. I don’t know why I did, I just heard it was the first snow and- well it doesn’t matter” you shook your head, not wanting to give her that piece of information. “And I saw him there, and ever since then, he’s been following me”

Karina pulled her face back, like processing your story. “Wow, that’s… a lot” she breathed out.

“Yep, tell me about it”

“And he’s following you?” she asked you.

“Yeah, the man’s crazy. He was waiting for me at my door, at my apartment. And I got there and saw him and ran here. I didn’t want to get in my apartment and risk him getting inside too” you explained.

“You’re not scared of him, are you?”

You scoffed at the comment. “No, of course not. He’s harmless. But I don’t want to see him. I’m not ready yet” you explained. “He went radio silent for a year, why now?”

“Yeah…” Karina nodded. “I get it, girl”

You squared your shoulders and cracked your neck. “I need to get to work, Kari. I- I need to get my mind off of this shit” you exhaled. “Believe it or not, snarky bitches who demand you coffee is something I’d rather deal with than Jungkook”

“It’s reasonable. I’ll check you in, you go change” she said.

“Great, thanks”

You walked towards the changing room, and put on your work outfit. You rubbed your temples, trying to soothe down the uneasy feeling from before and got out of the changing room, grabbing your stuff and stuffing it inside your pockets.

Your boss appeared with a smile.

“Hey, Y/N! You’re early today!” she chirped.

You nodded and bowed your hair down a little. “Yeah” you said.

“Well, it’s good to have someone so committed like you in our salon. I’m glad. There’s a very handsome gentleman over there that needs prep, so… if you could go over there and give a helping hand” your boss smiled and walked away.

“Sure” you called over and walked out of the staff room. You weren’t about to tell your boss that it wasn’t that you were that committed to your work, you were just trying to escape from your ex boyfriend.

With a sigh you walked across the salon and saw the man your boss referred to, reading a magazine, his back facing you.

“Hello, sir, wel- what are you doing here?”

The man looked up to meet your eyes and smiled.

Jungkook was there, sitting happily as he pretended to be invested in a Cosmopolitan magazine.

“How did you even know I worked here?” you said, angrily but also surprised.

He just chuckled. “What a coincidence!” he smirked. “You work here? When do you get off from work?”

You scoffed and looked away. “Who told you? Taehyung, was it?” you asked him.

“It’s really a coincidence” Jungkook insisted. “Taehyung didn’t tell me anything”

You huffed, “You just happened to visit a beauty salon? You?” you arched an eyebrow.

“I mean it, I came to get my hair done” he said and smiled at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Sure. Get your hair done and leave, please” you said.

After a while, Jungkook sat there, still flipping through the pages of that Cosmopolitan magazine, with his hair wet and freshly cut, ready to be dried.

The hairdressers were whispering about how pretty he was and it got on your fucking nerves.

“Excuse me!” Jungkook called and you turned around. “Can I get something to drink, please? I’m really thirsty”

You glared at him and your boss pushed your arm a little. “Hey, go get him a coffee, go!” she said hushedly.

“Okay” you muttered and went to make Jungkook the fucking coffee.

As you were preparing the coffee, one of your co-workers came to talk to you.

“You gotta give him some sweets for free, look at how cute he is” she whispered to you.

You faked a smile as she walked away. “Bitch” you muttered. You placed the coffee on the tray and looked at the sweets she had put there. “Jungkook doesn’t even like those-” you stopped yourself and rolled your eyes. “Who am I kidding? Why do I remember all this stuff” you said, grabbing the tray and walking towards Jungkook.

You placed the tray on the table in front of him and walked away, without sparing him a glance.

You knew his eyes were following your every move.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

After your shift, you walked out of the changing room with the clothes you had arrived in.

You walked down the hairdressing area and felt disappointed to see that Jungkook wasn’t there anymore.

Hold up? Disappointed?

You scolded yourself. You didn’t have to feel disappointed because he left. You didn’t have to feel anything for him at all. With a shake of your head, you continued your walk.

You said goodbye to your boss and smiled at Karina who was waiting for you.

“Everything okay?” she asked you. “I tried texting you after appointing Jungkook but you weren’t answering”

You sighed. “Yeah, I left my phone in my bag” you told her. “Thanks, though. Let’s go”

Karina linked her arm with yours and walked out of the salon.

Once you were out, you noticed Jimin was there, waiting for you.

“Oh my God, look who it is!” Karina smiled.

“Hey, Karina. Hi, Y/N” Jimin winked at you.

“Hey, Chim” you said. “What- what are you doing here?” you asked him.

“Let’s hang out” Jimin shrugged, making you pull your face back.

“Huh?”

“You agreed to go on another date with me, do you remember?” Jimin asked you.

You frowned. “Jimin, we literally had lunch together today” you told him.

“Yeah, at a normal, boring restaurant that we go to every single day, Y/N. Let me treat you to a fancy one” he smiled.

“Alright, I’m gonna go” Karina smiled, and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Love you, babes, bye!”

You waved at her and clenched your hands, an anxious habit you had.

“So?” he asked with an eyebrow raised. “Do you accept another date with me?” he asked and then stepped in front of you, grabbing your face. “Don’t think about anything else today, just about me. Okay? Let me take your mind off for a little while”

You pressed your lips together and nodded your head. “Okay, what are we doing then?” you smirked at him.

He let go of your face and stepped back a little. “Just trust me and follow me” he chuckled, offering his arm.

You curled your arm around his and gave him a strange look. “Okay… don’t you sound like a total creep right now”

Jimin just chuckled and led you to his car, speeding off to wherever he was going to take you.

Just as you drove off, Jungkook had turned the block and walked inside the salon with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He smiled at them as he smelt them and looked around for you.

But as he looked around, he couldn’t find you.

Jungkook let out a frustrated sigh and turned around, just to find Karina walking back inside the salon, looking for her phone, apparently.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Jungkook and walked towards him.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?” she asked him and then looked at the bouquet.

“I’m looking for Y/N” he replied.

“Oh, she just left… with Jimin” She added.

Jungkook felt his stomach dropping.

Jungkook wasn’t an idiot. He knew how much Jimin liked you and pined over you while you obliviously held him there next to you as a friend.

He was going to be damned if he took you away from him.

「 ✦ 𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲, 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐲: 𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐜𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐝, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮✦ 」

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You sat by a bench with Jimin next to you as he helped you put on your ice skates.

“Why did you choose ice skating out of all things?” you asked him.

Jimin chuckled. “I heard it’s something guys do when they wanna take the girl they like out on a date” he smirked, finishing the tie on your skates. “You know the cliché. If she falls, you help her up”

You pushed his shoulder, earning a laugh from him. “You watch way too many rom-coms, Jimin” you told him.

“Well, you can skate and flirt all at once” he shrugged.

“I’m not good at skating. In fact, I’ve never done it before” you told him.

Jimin looked at you with wide eyes. “Really? Me neither!” he said with a smile.

You pulled your face back. “Eh?”

“Yeah, I’ve never skated before” he shakes his head. “We gotta see, then” he shrugs and stands up.

Jimin offered his hand and you eyed it with hesitation.

“If I fall and hurt myself, I’m killing you” you said and grabbed his hand, earning a little chuckle from him.

Once you got on the rink, you easily caught the vibe of it and simply skated freely. Jimin, who had lied to you and was an excellent skater, started thinking of ways to get to ‘fall’ and he started moving his arms in the air.

“Whoa, whoa!” he gasped and you grabbed his arm, stabilizing him.

“Hey, be careful!” you said, he grabbed your waist.

He chuckled at you and grabbed your hand, pulling you with him to skate.

“You said you never skated!” you yelled at him. “You tricked me!”

“Welp, I lied” he shrugs with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes. “Help me, come on. I look like Bambi on ice” you said and he laughed.

“Come on, do this” he said and showed you the moves he made with his legs.

“Like this?” you showed him and he nodded. “My God, I probably look ridiculous” you muttered.

“You’re great, look at you!” he chuckles. “You’re a fast learner, Jagiya!”

“What? Oh!” you said, and then regretted stopping, because your skate slipped and you fell flat on your ass.

“Y/N!” Jimin yelled and quickly crouched down. “You alright? Did you hurt yourself?”

“I’m- I’m okay” you winced. “I think I hurt my palm, though”

He helped you up and after a few minutes, he walked you out of the rink. You sat on a bench holding your hand open as he wiped the ice with the sleeve of his coat.

“Does it hurt?” he asked you, rubbing your wrist.

You shook your head. “No, no, I just skinned myself a little. But it’s fine” you said with a smile.

“Wait-” he said and dug his hand in his pocket, taking out a little band-aid.

You frowned, confused as to why he would have a band-aid in his pocket.

“Do you remember, last month, when you and Karina got so drunk that me and Tae had to carry you back home?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah… why?” you asked.

“Well, you went home with a scraped knee, because you fell. I had to buy some band-aids for you and well, I guess I never took them from my pocket” he told you.

“You were the one who put the band on my knee?” you asked with a smile.

“That was me, yeah” he nodded. “You fell trying to climb a bending machine”

“Oh my God, I don’t even wanna ask” you mumbled.

“Let me put the band-aid on you” he said.

You watched him as he took the lids out and you sighed, grabbing the band-aid.

“Let me put it on myself” you huffed and placed it on your palm.

Jimin gave you a look and nodded.

He was spiraling inside. He wanted to make you comfortable, and let him dote you. Let him take care of you like you deserved.

Jimin wasn’t going to lie to himself, but he was pretty pissed off at Jungkook. He had been when he broke up with you, for making you sad. And now that he was back, he was pissed off he had shown up and was willing to take you back like nothing happened, just when he had found the courage to take you out and confess his long time feelings for you.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and looked away.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

An hour later or so, you found yourselves at a restaurant, eating some ice cream to finish the date.

“You know? I should’ve ordered something more fancy for us” Jimin said as he took a bite from the red velvet cake.

“No, it’s really good. I haven’t had a cake this good in a long time” you groaned, eating more cake. “And honestly? All the sweets I’ve been eating are just shitty licorice strips from the convenience store. Let me enjoy it” you scold him.

He chuckles at you. “Whatever you say, Jagi”

“Stop calling me that” you said immediately, your face flashed with an angry look.

Jimin’s smile fell. “Oh, I’m- I’m sorry” he stammers, feeling flustered at you calling him out.

You let out a breath, feeling like shit for spatting at him like that.

“I’m sorry, Chim” you sighed. “I just… don’t like that pet name” you lied.

You forgot Jimin knew you like the palm of his hand and could sense when you were lying.

“Did Jungkook call you that?” he asked you in a soft tone.

You looked at him and then back at the cake. “Yeah” you said in a small voice.

“Figured. I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to make you feel-”

“It’s okay, Chim. I know you didn’t” you smiled at him. “Can we please change the conversation topic? I feel like we can’t ruin this hell of a cake talking about Jungkook”

Jimin nodded with a genuine smile. “Yeah, let’s do that”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Jungkook parked his car in front of your building and sighed as he looked at the entrance.

“Please, give me a chance” he spoke against the steering wheel. “Please, please” he whispered again.

He got out of the car, without noticing the car that had just parked in front of your building.

“You didn’t have to drive me home, you know?” you asked him as you got out of the car and he did as well. “I could’ve just called a cab”

He chuckled. “Y/N, this is a proper date. It wouldn’t be gentleman-ly to not do that” he said.

You cocked your head to the side. “Is that even a word?” you asked Jimin.

“I guess not” he laughs.

“Well, we’re here. Thank you for… well, everything” you exhaled. “I feel like I don’t deserve it”

Jimin walked closer to you. “Y/N…” he said lowly.

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close into a hug. He had a hand on the back of your head and the other one, resting on your lower back.

You let out a gasp, in surprise and hugged him back.

“This is nice” he whispers.

“Yeah…” you tried convincing yourself.

Jimin looked up, only to find Jungkook in front of him on the opposite sidewalk, staring at the scene.

He was wearing the most heartbreaking face, and Jimin hated to admit, but it hurt seeing his friend looking like that.

But you were single.

And he had waited a long ass time to finally have you like this in his arms. And maybe you didn’t feel the same, but he was going to try his best to prove to you that he was a better match.

Jungkook’s shoulders visibly dropped as he stared at you.

Then, his eyes narrowed.

What was Jimin doing with his girl?

How dare he?

「 ✦ 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 ✦ 」

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#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook bts #bts x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook series

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hanichani · 11 months ago

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Pairing: han x gn!reader, han x lee know, slight lee know x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, suggestive

Summary: being besties with hanji apparently entails a lot more than just friendship

Warnings: complicated relationships i guess?, boy on boy action/relationship is mentioned but nothing explicit

Word count: 827, I really dk how to write long fics smh

a/n: I've been so inactive oh my god but oh well. merry christmas to anyone who celebrates <3 here's a little hannie/minsung drabble. hope you liiiike it!

best friend hannie who's not really your best friend.

8:34pm ji: SOS

8:34pm ji: HELP ME

8:36pm ji: HELLO EARTH TO Y/N I NEED U

8:39pm ji: cmon i neeeeeeed u

8:40pm y/nn: r u dying

8:40pm y/nn: if not then leave me alone, im busy

8:41pm ji: but min is busy too >:(

8:41pm ji: and i am dying actually

8:43pm y/nn: no ur just a fucking horndog

8:43pm y/nn: text one of ur other hookups

8:44pm ji: but no one does it like you :(((

8:44pm y/nn: ur full of shit

8:45pm ji: u love it ;)))

8:47pm y/nn: ugh

8:47pm ji: soooo?

8:50pm y/nn: omw

you sigh, feeling annoyed but whenever he says, you’re always there to help him and you don’t even mind being one of the many because you know that jisung is a whore and nothing is going to change that. besides, you’re best friends, he’ll always put you above meaningless hookups (if he’s not too horny and thinking with his dick). the only person he won’t put you above is minho, let’s face it, he’s head over heels and simply too scared to have a proper conversation with him about it. but also, you think he’s scared that if they made it official, he would have to stop getting physical with you which is a close second to minho and he does not want to risk that.

you don’t mind it. to be honest, the thought of the two attractive men being together does something to you. and even when they’re not doing anything sexual, they make your heart swell. they could be cuddling on the couch when you come over and all you can do is scream on the inside because they look so soft and adorable together. holding each other close, their fingers intertwined while minho teases jisung by letting go of his hand every now and then and then both of them staring at their fingers brushing against each other in slow motion when they connect them again. they should get married. safe to say you’re their number one shipper.

so maybe that’s why it’s so natural for you and jisung to fuck around. you love him and he loves you but you both know it’s strictly platonic, right? jisung could be giving you head and muttering about how minho held his hand in public the other day and how that’s definitely a good sign to which you can only respond with loud sighs and nods of acknowledgment that jisung can’t see anyways.

another time, you could be riding jisung, discussing the outcomes of jisung actually confessing to minho. it’s just a casual conversation between friends…while they’re fucking.

and you're not bothered by it because minho is a very attractive man so thinking about him during sex only gets you going more.

sometimes it spirals into jisung talking about how you should definitely try having a threesome and that’s where the lines blur for you because no way would jisung ever let you do anything with minho. he’s way too possessive over the man and it makes you think that jisung has to have some sort of feelings for you to even think about that. but that thought is gone the next time you’re hanging out at his dorm and he charges in, holding the hand of an unknown girl, heading straight into his bedroom.

so yea, best friend jisung who strangers think you’re dating because they don’t know you two that well (they also think he’s dating minho which leads to them thinking the three of you are a poly couple).

best friend jisung who starts making out with you just because he’s had a long day and wants to take his mind off of it. best friend jisung who slides his hands under your tshirt on the daily “because he’s cold”… while he’s just horny. best friend jisung who plays matchmaker, trying to hook you up with his members only to fuck you senseless later that evening.

best friend jisung who coos at you whenever you get sleepy in his arms and thinks he could eat you up right then and there. best friend jisung who kisses you awake after a night spent together, peppering kisses all over your face.

best friend jisung who thinks about what it would be like if you joined him and minho in bed. best friend jisung who has thought about what it would be like to call both you and minho his. best friend jisung who has the exact same relationship with minho as he does with you. and best friend jisung who does not know how to confess to either of you so he plays it off as having platonic relationships with both you and minho while gushing to min about you and vice versa. best friend jisung who is in love with both of his best friends and does not know what the fuck to do.

#stray kids x reader #skz drabbles #skz x y/n #han jisung fluff #han x you #han x reader #han fluff #han jisung x reader #han x lee know #han jisung x you #lee know x reader #lee know fluff #minsung x reader #minsung poly #minsung fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids x y/n

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coeurify · 2 years ago

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taking care of subby ellie.

Your girlfriend always held so much on her shoulders. The shaking bone of her upper body always sagged slightly at the invisible weight she put on them. Imaginary stone after stone of responsibility Ellie set on top of her nimble shoulders.

Stones you tried so desperately to push away, to clutch your hands around and throw off when she looked at you, when her breath sucked in and spilled the oversaid words “I’m fine, was just a long day.” After every long patrol, every bad day on the pathways of your home Jackson.

There was only so much you could do, especially with the stubborn green eyes of Ellie demanding there was nothing wrong most times. Never one to mope, nor admit she had a problem.

But sometimes, sometimes, when the sun beat down a little too hard— when people spoke a little too roughly— Ellie let you take care of her.

Her converse plodded into the small space of your home, floorboards creaking under the weight of the whole damn world Ellie liked to grip onto. She would call your name, so gently you didn’t always hear it.

Auburn hair moved as she waited patiently, her freckled face shifting as she looked around for you. Eventually, you always came. Your arms always wrapped around her, always pulled her stained jacket from her strong arms, always pushed her fallen hair behind her ears.

Usually, on the days Ellie let the stones be thrown off her shoulders, she ended up on your bed.

“You’re so beautiful, Els,” you would whisper, a gentle hand pressing onto her cheek in a way she usually believed she didn’t deserve.

“Let me take care of you,” you would hum carefully, fingers dancing around the button of her favorite jeans. “Let me show you how much I love you.”

Ellie, pretty, lovely Ellie, always let you. Her trembling fingers always found your hair as your face dipped between her thighs, showing your love through swipes of your tongue against her throbbing core.

“Had such a hard day,” Ellie would admit through ragged breaths.

“Don't worry about that,” you always cooed, staring at your girlfriend with a sense of adoration that made everything feel just a little lighter against her bones.

“I've got you baby, jus’ let go.”

And Ellie did. Only against your palm did that weight disappear. Only from your words did the auburn-haired girl let her body finally relax.

Everyone always expected her to be strong. To know what to do, where to go, and how to act. But you never did. You would guide her through everything, given the opportunity. If you could be the cause of one less frown, one less curl of her nervous fist, you would.

“Fuck,” Ellie always cried, her thighs squeezing between whatever you deemed the proper tool. Sometimes your fingers, sometimes your mouth.

“Feel good?” you would ask, wet lips pressing to her flushed cheek.

“Doing so good for me, baby, my best girl,” your lips usually released some sort of version of this into the air of your bedroom. Quiet and soft, only for you two to hear. Only to confirm to Ellie that she was doing enough. That her just being here was enough. Telling her, in your own way, that Ellie had nothing to prove to you.

When Ellie comes, you are convinced it's a cosmic event. Every soft whimper that sounds, every set of squeezed eyelids or sweaty forehead against your own as her walls clench around you, it’s undoubtedly the eighth wonder of this world.

“Please,” Ellie begged most days. Who were you to deny her? Who were you to stop the breaking dam of your girlfriend’s cunt, pouring over your fingers, onto your tongue, wherever you wanted... wherever she wanted.

“Go on, baby, come for me.”

Ellie didn’t let that weight ever disappear from her shoulders. Not unless she was with you.

#super self indulgent #sub ellie 🔛🔝#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x fem reader #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams smut #sub!ellie williams

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genderkoolaid · 1 year ago

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It's so frustrating to see people purposefully misunderstand transandrophobia/transmisandry and then very confidently talk disparagingly about the people who talk about their experiences of it and then blatantly ignore everyone going "hey yeah no that's not what that means"

Like. Devon price trying to frame it like people who talk about transandrophobia are doing so firstly because they're just ignorant misogynistic babies who want to be oppressed so bad and also to try and drive a wedge between transmascs and transfemmes is so fucking disingenuous I don't even know where to start.

We're literally just trying to talk about the experiences transmasculine people have and the institutional problems specific to us? Why is this such a fucking problem?

Its painfully obvious that the people who make these posts do not ever actually engage with the discussion of anti-transmasculinity & the wider transunitist-feminist theories. Its embarassingly obvious in this case because Devon tried to make this sick gotcha, by bringing up one of the most common topics of conversation in our spaces.

And then there's the whole "TMRAs don't realize most of what they deal with is misogyny!" take, which I've seen in other places as well. Which imo comes from the idea that people who discuss transmisandry are literally just the trans version of MRAs. & the MRA idea of "misandry" is just a reversal of their idea of feminist theory- so they use it to describe "actually society is based around women's needs and desires and it targets (cis) men and we actually live in a matriarchy!" While the transunitist concept of misandry/antimasculism is "patriarchal beliefs about men/masculinity & the roles they are expected to fulfill, used both generally to reinforce patriarcharal control and specifically to target marginalized men/perceived-masculine people." I coined antimasculism specifically to provide an alternate to misandry for those who are uncomfortable with it because of the MRA associations.

& like. whether or not you agree that these are useful words, its obvious that the transunitist idea of misandry/antimasculism is very different to the MRA one. But to know that you'd have to actually, like, read the things we write & take seriously to our theories on the patriarchy. And not just trust Tumblr Callout For Evil Trans People #3245853723 that said we don't think misogyny exists.

Also tbh I think a bigger part of this issue (transmascs who are anti-transunitist) is that its a symptom of anti-transmasculine erasure. If you don't personally experience, assault, demonization, or accusations of being a predator for being a trans man, and no one you know has either, then... you certainly aren't gonna hear about those issues from wider society. And even if you have, you might not recognize what happened as anti-transmasculine, or tell yourself it must be only a fraction of what trans women go through. & again, they don't fucking read anything we post. That's why I feel like its so important to point out & remember incidents of anti-transmasculinity (like what I do w the AoVaTP). Because its so easy to buy the "people don't violate trans men the same way" until you've read about (tw for somewhat graphic anti-transmasculine violence)

trans men getting their faces cut off, beaten with a chain, thrown out of men and women's bathrooms, hit over the head with a cooler, having their shelter at a refugee camp firebombed, having hot coffee poured in their eyes while being called a "he-she", institutionalized & tortured for not showing "proper gender behaviors" as a child, having their family burn their documents to keep them from getting a job, forced to jump from a 2nd-story window and left to die, being harassed by Fox News for being a "groomer" until their school got bomb threats, held captive and tortured for two years, found dead with their genitals stabbed, assaulted by a police officer for "lesbian activity", called "tranny" a lot, and so many rapes and so many suicides, and this is just some of the shit that I have collected for that archive.

But yeah. We're just whining about silly representation nonsense.

#sorry for bringing up all the awful shit but like. sometimes i just wanna grab these peoples faces #and be like WHILE YOU NITPICK LANGUAGE THE PATRIARCHY DOESNT STOP KILLING US #i try to pretty regularly search for news articles about trans men to keep up w anything new #and ive done a fair bit of research to find stories that NEVER!!!!! get brought up by other queer activists #wheres yalls fucking support for zahair martinez. for chriton atuhwera. for ky peterson. for ebeng mayor.#if you are an activist then put the effort in #m.#ask box #examples of transandrophobia #rape tw #suicide tw

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deepperplexity · 1 year ago

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Prompt: 14. A Light In The Night [A4]

Pairing: Colonel Brandon x Fem!Reader

POV: Second, Reader

Setting: Delaford Estate

Continuation of: Prompt 1. Chimney Soot, 5. Grave Of Snow, & 9. Missing Star

A/N: TWO THINGS OF IMPORTANCE TODAY! One) This is the final part of the Brandon fic! First wrap-up of Rickmas2023! 😱😍👏 Two) IT'S FRIKKIN SMUT TIME DARLINGS! 🔥🔥🔥 Oh, and this is a longer part too, hope you'll enjoy it (just don't ask how my fingers are feeling after this weeks writing shenanigans so far - gosh, I've written so much 😂)🤭😘

Tags/TW’s: Selfdoubt, Adoration, Love, Embracing, Slight Hints At Classism, Feeling New (positive, natural) Emotions & Sensations, Nicknames, Kissing, Confessions of Desire, Respecting Another's Wishes, Gifting Ones Virginity, Sweet Loving, Caring Partner, Penetrative Sex, Future Marriage Implied.

Abbr.: Y/N - Your Name

Word Count: 4.3k+

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

It had been four days since his confession, and to be perfectly frank, you had yet to fully absorb it. As if the spirits of Christmas had snapped their fingers, all your wishes seemed to be coming true in the span of a mere two weeks. Two weeks ago, you had entered the Delaford Estate in desperate need of employment — or just a roof over your head, and a hot meal would have tied you over for a blessed moment — and now you were dressed in finery, drinking tea in a beautiful parlour with the sweetest hound by your feet on order from its master, the man who had you beyond infatuated, to stay by your side.

It was strange, so very odd, to be seated in such splendour when you only knew how to be the person to serve such people. You had never taken notice of how the rich ladies held their teacups, or how they sat with their legs, or even how they held conversations. You had always been too busy making sure you barely existed in their presence. To serve the tea, remove the empty plates, to not make a sound or be noticed. Now, you were the one to be noticed, the one who was supposed to be able to do things in a fine and proper manner.

Not that any of that mattered to the man who only yesterday had asked for your hand in marriage. For you to be his wife, his partner, to be by his side through the rest of his life. You hadn’t grasped that the ring around your finger, with several diamonds lining the golden band in a delicate fashion, was truly proof of a reality that was becoming yours. Not a dream, not a wish, not a hope — just reality. Your reality.

You sat the teacup down, a slight clinking rang out in the big room as your unsteady hand released it. “Oh, Samson, what am I doing here?” you asked the hound who whined and rested his big head with floppy ears atop your legs. And, then, he entered. Your fiancé, the man who made your blood sing and your thoughts turn bright. He walked with a commanding grace that was gentle and decisive at the same time.

He smiled so sweetly towards you, instantly finding you in the vast room. The thoughts of not fitting in, not being in the right place, not being worthy of the life you had just begun flitted away the moment he held you in his arms. Standing before the fireplace, surrounded by Christmas decorations, all derogatory thoughts of yourself went away. It had nothing to do with anything but him.

“Y/n,” he said softly. “Colonel,” you replied, as was proper. But, he shook his head and gently placed his warm fingers under your chin, tilting your head ever so slightly. “Christopher,” he stated. “Christopher…” His name rolled out of your mouth in a mere breath of a whisper. The word too important, too beautiful, too much of a gift for you to speak any louder.

Your body tingled, warmth spread in places within you that had never warmed before. Your legs were unsteady while you felt an inexplicable need to clench your thighs together as something pooled and unfurled in the most sacred of places. “My sweet, something the matter?” he asked as he placed the back of his fingers on your burning cheek. “You appear flustered, are you fairing?” The concern in his voice was too sweet, too caring — your senses were overwhelmed by him. “I’m fairing, Christopher,” you said but your voice didn’t quite reach the tone you had thought it would. There was something strangely quiet about it, your throat suddenly a little bit thick as you tried to swallow past the fluttering tingle going from your lips all the way down to your very toes.

“My star,” he hummed while his fingers travelled along your jaw until his hand slipped over your shoulder and down your arm until his hand could grasp yours, raise it up, and plant a gentle kiss atop your knuckles. You were becoming hotter by the moment, everywhere he touched you felt as if it burned, despite the fabric separating his skin from yours mostly.

Outside, darkness crept in despite the white snow. He'd been away most of the day, attending to business in town as he’d said at breakfast. How can I possibly miss you so dearly every moment you’re not with me after such a short time? “I cannot wait to have you as my wife,” he said and kissed your hand once more, harder and more ardently than before. Your thighs clenched together at the intense contact. Samson barked a low rumble and walked out of the room with the pitter-patter of his claws against the shiny flooring. “And I you as my husband, Christopher.” Saying his name was such a blessing, he was a blessing.

“My sweet,” he hummed. “You are making it difficult to be a gentleman.” “What do you mean?” you asked, feeling as if the room turned hotter with each passing second in his proximity. He squeezed your hand. “You are too beautiful, too wonderful. It is the most difficult challenge to stay away.” “Then do not,” you exhaled, still not fully grasping why he needed to stay away at all. “My star, you ask too much of me. If I do not stay away, how could I possibly refrain from ravaging you before you hold my name? How can I remain a gentleman when all my desires are within my grasp?”

Your breath hitched, the warmth within becoming a fire as his eyes held yours with nothing but honesty and love within them. You were pressed against one another, neither of you able to separate your bodies while your fingers were entwined on either side of you, your hands firmly held by each other.

“Are you not an honest man?” you asked. “I endeavour to be.” “And are you not a respectable man?” “I believe I am. To the best of my capabilities.” “And with that being said, are you one to keep your word?” “Always,” he affirmed, his eyes taking on a more serious shine. “Then, can we not believe in your honest promise to marry me, as a respectable man who endeavours to go through life in a manner befitting to your beliefs, darling?” you asked, feeling brave and empowered by the way he viewed you most dearly. “You have me at a loss for words. How can I dispute such words when they ring of truth and cater to my selfish want for you?” he nearly purred in that gravely voice of his. “I am yours.” “As I am yours .”

He took a step back, breathing in deep — as if he were desperate for air — and released one of your hands while beginning to turn toward the door. Yet, he did not move, did not tug or pull, not even a step was taken as he watched you with his head turned. He waited for you, and your body could not spare another second to a life where you did not know him intimately.

You squeezed his hand and moved forward. That was the cataclysm, the release of you both and the acceptance of trust between you both. He would keep his word and make you his wife, you would stay with him forever, and in your loving trust, there was freedom from propriety. There was freedom from restraint. Freedom within the warmth which radiated from the both of you, for each other.

The door locked. You were a pining mess for the man before you — with his stiff shoulders and harder breathing stealing your focus. He moved in swiftly, not wasting a second to cup your warm face with his gentle hands. “I will ask one more time,” he said while his eyes flicked between yours. “Are you certain you wish for this to happen?” “I want nothing else,” you said with finality in your breathy voice. “My star, my sweet,” he murmured before his thin lips clashed against yours with a deep groan slipping from his mouth and into yours. It was bliss. It was heaven. It was everything.

Your hands grabbed his wrists, holding onto him while the world fell away. Your body burned for him, your nerves tingling and tensing within you while your core softened as his tongue darted out to tease the seam of your lips. You parted them, allowing him access as your tongue met his and they danced in harmony. A moan slipped from the depths of your chest as he pressed himself against you, and you damned your clothes for existing.

His hands slipped from your face, travelling down your shoulders until he could grasp your waist and hold you even tighter while your own hands rested atop his wide shoulders. You could feel every motion of him, every tensing muscle, every effort he exerted to control himself as his fingers found the lacing at your back and began to tug.

You were nervous, uncertain of what to do or what you even felt. All the emotions and sensations he created within you were new, uncharted waters you were fearful of drowning in without him there to guide you through the waves. “I’ve never,” you whispered against his lips, spilling the truth of your innocence. “I would have expected nothing less from such a wonder as you, yet I am surprised no young man has come to steal your purity. I am lucky, blessed to have your trust in this honour,” he said and there was something about him not putting a value on your purity as a possession but as something for you to gift that had you melting in his arms.

A flurry seemed to spring to life, hands tugged at buttons and strings, moved fabrics and undid lacing until you were both naked in the dark room. You were grateful to the dark for shielding your bare body, yet at the same time… you wished to witness all of him, in all his glory.

Your hands travelled along the curve of his waist, feeling the warm skin bared for you while his front was pressed against yours. The slight softness to his stomach paired with the strength of his arms had you thinking of warm cuddles during foggy mornings, of safety and gentle caresses. Then the hardness of his cock pressed against your pelvis the knot between your legs seemed to tie itself up further.

“I wish to see you, my sweet,” he said as he backed away, leaving you standing by the edge of the bed in the dim darkness. The sound of a match being struck rang out over your panted breaths and a little flame flickered to life beside you while the chill of the separation made your nipples peak. A small candle next to the bed spread its golden glow impressively. Yet, your eyes instantly snagged to the man blowing out the match.

His body was far from what you had imagined you would ever be attracted to. His chest was dusted with soft-looking hair forming a trail down his pale stomach your eyes followed almost dutifully until they reached his cock. You had never seen such a sight before, yet it made your mouth water and your insides churn. Your body knew what it wanted, what it wished for, and he was all of it.

“Beautiful,” came his voice in a rumble. You looked up, finding his eyes studying your face intently while your cheeks felt as if they would burn up. You wondered how on earth he would fit within you, if it were going to hurt or if he would be gentle. He will… He will be gentle with me , you thought and he stepped up and kissed you most softly despite the desperation you could feel from him.

He laid you down, guiding you to the middle of the bed while he placed himself between your legs, all the while keeping your lips connected. You felt his weight atop you increase and you parted your legs further hesitantly. The gracing of his cock against your warm clit sent a jolt through you, it was a foreign sensation — yet it felt good.

You moaned as he groaned when he settled himself. You wished to be closer, feel him everywhere and connect within him in a manner your body was by now pleading for. The ache in your core, the pulsing of your inner walls nearly painful as there was merely a palpable emptiness within you.

“My sweet,” he hummed as his lips traced your jaw, a hand gliding down your side until he grasped your thigh gently, the warmth of his hand searingly wonderful. “Christopher,” you panted while your hands glided over his shoulders and up towards his neck as he sank lower, kissing your throat. “I shall be gentle, in all things I ever do with you,” he declared as you began to tense from the need coursing within you. “Please,” you whispered, not fully understanding the sensations bombarding you but knowing they were all from him. “I need to make you ready,” he said against your upper chest. “The first time, it may hurt but I shall do everything to make it pleasurable, my star.”

His lips latched around your nipple and his tongue circled it heavenly. You were a moaning mess as his mouth gently coaxed the warmth burning within you to reach new heights. Your legs tightened around him as his hand travelled down the inside of your thigh before his fingers found your slick opening. You jolted at the sudden touch, alarm bells going off in your head of how intimate it was, how wrongly good it felt to be touched down there — by him.

“My sweet,” he hummed after releasing your nipple. “Look at me.” You did so, tilting your head only to find him nearly framed by your legs, his head right below your heaving chest and those sweet eyes solely focused on you. “Christopher,” you whispered while his finger toyed with the little nub sending pleasurable jolts through you each and every time. “P-please,” you moaned as his eyes lit up with a warm sort of wonder as he watched you take the pleasure he offered. “I need you soft, pliable, soaked, my sweet. I will not harm you deliberately, take the pleasure I’m offering,” he said as he slowly rose, keeping eye contact with you at all times while his slick finger lowered and found your opening.

You panted, your hands grasping at the covers beneath you, while he leaned over you, supporting his weight on one hand while the other stayed at your core. “All the pleasure,” he affirmed as he sank a digit into you. Slowly, gently, carefully stretching you open for him. You moaned and panted, your head pushed into the pillow as you took in the foreign sensation of having something inside you. “My sweet,” he whispered before kissing your exposed neck, still working his finger in and out of you most gently, softly, nearly caressing your insides.

His thumb found its way to your aching clit, stroking it in slow circles while his finger kept up its even pace — it felt as if you’d go mad with the pleasurable torture. “Please, Christopher,” you moaned and he replied with a deep hum of a groan before capturing your lips with his own while he adjusted himself to hover above you — still keeping up the attentions he lavished your core with. “Soon, my sweet star, soon.” He upped the pace a tad, hardening the circling of your clit with that wide thumb of his while his tongue delved in to dance with yours. Your hands found his shoulders, caressing and gripping in intervals while your body seemed to seamlessly shift beneath him. Your legs widened further, your back arched ever so slightly, all while your nerves seemed to tighten and burn with something you weren’t sure you could handle.

You moaned into his mouth, he laid more weight atop you — forcing his hand to rest fully against your core while keeping up the pleasurable touch. The heavy breathing of you both filled the room, your moans swallowed by him as his groans were captured by your mouth. A mixture of bliss and tension within your body.

“You are most delicate. Most beautiful, wonderful,” he said as your mouths parted. Your eyes fluttered open only to find him looking at you with the most devastating look of want and desire. His features were those of someone starved of what they wished for and who was now able to consume that very desire wholly. “My love,” you whispered while his finger plunged a bit harder into you, the golden glow of the candle showing nothing but perfection above you. “My star, my missing star,” he groaned before pulling out his finger to an incoherent plea of yours. You felt deprived, empty without him inside you.

He licked his finger clean with a hum so deep you could feel it in your own toes. He’s tasting me, you thought with a mixture of horror and bewildering want. Your insides clenched around nothing and you could have sworn madness crept in as he took away that touch.

“Delicious,” he said, his eyes never leaving yours. “Delicious, and mine to worship ardently.” He moved higher above you, his hand dipping back down between you both. “Christopher?” you asked as he rose a bit higher by straightening his arm. Your eyes fell down only to see him stroking his bulging cock with the very hand he had just pleasured you with. The tip of his cock, it was covered in glistening pre-cum, he swirled his finger over it twice before pushing down — aligning himself to you while you watched with trepidation and yearning.

“I shall be most gentle, my sweet,” he said quietly, the gravelly voice like music to your soul with its hints of desperation and care. “Look at me, only me,” he said and you did. Your eyes shifted from his cock between your legs to those mesmerising eyes of his while he leaned forward ever so slightly.

You felt the tip of him, and before you had a chance to adjust to the idea of his entirety being able to fit within you he pushed forward with a gentle thrust. He groaned while your eyes fluttered at the sudden sensation which wasn't quite comfortable. “You are doing so well, my star. So well,” he praised while he kissed your forehead before doing the same to each of your cheeks while pushing further in. You moaned with a scrunching of your nose and eyebrows, your body fighting the intrusion. “Relax for me, my sweet. Relax, and grant me access,” he whispered in a near purr while laying half atop you, supported by his knees and arms. And, you did. You relaxed under his gentle words, his pleading for you to let him in.

He moaned, a most heavenly sound, as he pushed the last bit of himself in as your insides stretched and softened to accommodate him. The pinches and twangs of pain were not nearly as bad as you had imagined and over far more swiftly than you would have thought. In the lack of pain, there was only pleasure to be found. His warm body, his thick cock filling you completely while his warm breath danced across your neck and shoulder before his lips kissed the pulse point below your ear most gently.

Christopher began to move, each thrust slickened by you coating him with your want. Your body tensed and curled beneath him as he gently claimed all of you and there would never be another man you wished to know you in such a manner. You were only for him, as you hoped and wished that you would be the only one for him from that day onward.

As he upped the pace, his breathing turned ragged and harsh while you witnessed the restraint he held himself with. He was being so gentle with you, each thrust fast but caring, each plunge into your core a caress of the most loving kind. You wanted all of him, your moaning of his name all you could manage as he took your innocence with a devotion unlike any you could have ever imagined being worthy of.

“Please,” you whispered as he kissed your shoulder. “Please, I feel-, feel-, haaa—” “My sweet,” he panted. “You are mine to worship,” he continued while his hand stroked its way down to your joining. You cried out as his finger found your clit and began to stroke it most deliciously while he managed to keep thrusting into you. The sensations were overwhelming, but oh so good. “That’s it,” he said while your legs tensed and an overwhelming need for something terrifyingly powerful began to take over. “I — oh — I need-, haaa—” you moaned as he kept up the motion, the thrusting, the caresses and kisses and sounds which had you on the edge of something your body desperately sought. It was beyond a want, far more a need than anything else and it came from him — from what he was doing to you.

“Let go,” he groaned while his tempo stuttered, as if he were on the edge as well. As if he were right there with you, feeling something inexplicably wonderfully tight. “No, no, no I—” “Let go, let it go, darling,” he said in a barely coherent voice while moans spilt from between those thin lips you wished to kiss for an eternity.

His thumb pushed harder, sending a jolt of ecstasy through your entire body, making you cry out his name in a strained garble while every muscle in your body began to tremble as pleasure filled each part of you. He groaned and stilled, a pulsing from you and him mixing within you as warmth spurted into you while you were lost to the unfathomable pleasure he offered you, his finger gently slowed to ease you out of the mind-numbing sensations that took such control of your body it felt as if you had been possessed by him.

“Beautiful… Wonderful… My sweet star,” he said as he half-laid on you while you both caught your breaths. The pounding of his heart reached your own and it felt for a moment as if they were beating in tune with each other. “That was… amazing,” you exhaled as his hooked nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck. “You, are amazing.” “I believe this was your work, my love,” you confessed sheepishly even if your voice didn’t have the strength to take on a tone. “I shall endeavour to please and pleasure you always.” The way he spoke with such sincerity, such gentle love with no hint of anything but honesty. It made your toes curl just as he moved — a gasp slipping from you as he pulled out.

He did not even spare a second before he had moved over to the side of the room, stark naked in the golden candlelight, and you had just enough time to worry about rejection before he turned back with the softest of smiles and a damp cloth in his hand. “Let us take care of you,” he said. “If you will allow me?” “I…” But you nodded, feeling drained in a blissful manner yet aware enough to understand he wished to clean you which made you nervous — no matter how strange that was after what you had just done with him, it felt so incredibly intimate to have him wash you with a cloth down there.

After a few minutes, you were both clean and cuddled up under the thick covers in the bed you had woken up in after having been nearly buried alive in snow two weeks ago. That he had brought you to his bed that very night had had you in a fit at first, but now… well, now you looked back on it as the first declaration of his intentions with you.

“A light in the night,” he hummed while you lay on his chest with his arm wrapped securely around you, his warm finger playing a circle game on your hip. “Darling?” you asked quietly while you watched the grey hair on his chest shimmer in the candlelight. “You, my star… You are a light in the perpetual darkness of night my life has been for far too many years. Your smile alone could brighten my day more than the sun.”

Your heart skipped a beat, your body tensing outwardly while softening inwardly at his sweet words spoken in that perfect voice of his. He kissed the top of your head while you wondered if you were truly blessed with a Christmas miracle in the shape of him. “When spring comes, I shall wed you before all and declare my love for anyone and everyone to hear. My missing star, my sweet Y/n… How I have searched and longed for you.” “And I you, Christopher, my love. My Christmas miracle.”

He gently leaned your head back with his fingers beneath your chin before leaning forward to capture your lips in the most gentle of kisses. A sweet caress of lips in pure need to connect. “I love you,” he said, his eyes not leaving yours while you drew a hitched breath at the sincerity — at feeling just like he did. “And I love you,” you whispered while tears brimmed your eyes and he gently kissed your forehead with a soft smile of his own. “Christmas miracle indeed,” he whispered against your skin and you held on tighter to him while the single candle flame flickered beside you…

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: Oh gosh, that was that for our wonderfully sweet Colonel for this Rickmas fic - I hope you've enjoyed it darlings 🥰👏❤ I think they'll have a beautiful wedding in the spring, with lots of love and smiles all around, don't you? 🥰

Q: If you were to have a winter wedding, what would be the most important wintery-item/part of it? 😊 A: I think for me it would have to be snow - I feel like you can't really have a winter wedding if there's no beautifully sparkling white snow ❄❄❄

TAGLIST: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @leah1243 @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @sunnylikesfrogs @mamawolfsmith16 @dianilaws @sassanoe @snapesrn @bernadette-peters12 @sammy-13 @smartowl999 @castleofthorns @serenanight87 @sunset90 @mamawolfsmith87 @snowblossomreads @ladykardasi @a-queen-and-her-throne @eternal-silvertongued-prince @lyrixsnape @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @daddythanatos @sunset90

Want to be tagged? 💚 You can tag yourself HERE! Or tell me and I’ll gladly tag you! 😍

[Dec:2023]

#rickmas2023 #rickmas #colonel brandon #colonel brandon x reader #alan rickman #rickmaniac #christmas fic #colonel brandon fic #sense and sensibility

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sophiaforevs · 1 year ago

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Between the early cancellation of Discovery, Seven/Raffi and Mariner/Jenn being erased in their respective shows, and SNW having queer coded characters but not confirming anything on screen, I'm really afraid that we're entering another "No Gays in Trek" era.

For those who don't know, 90s era star trek featured so few queer characters b/c Rick Berman largely held a policy of not wanting any homosexuality in his shows. And yes, we all remember the handful of episodes that slipped through that addressed it but the fact remains that there were no canonically queer main cast members before Into Darkness in 2016 gave us a five second shot that could be cut when whoever was showing the movie found the idea of two men in a loving relationship disgusting.

Then we got Discovery with multiple queer characters that allowed people to feel seen. And people never stopped bitching about them. The amount of times that I've had to listen to people complain that Adira's only character trait is that they're non-binary despite that literally being a single thirty second scene and never brought up again makes me understand that they very likely don't want to like the queer characters in that show. And it's not that there aren't criticisms to be made about the queer representation in Disco: Discovery Buries it's Gays before the end of the first season. Making your trans characters aliens who already have a history of gender fuckery is problematic b/c it somewhat plays into the idea that queerness is unnatural for human beings. But I never hear those complaints. Only the pronouns. Only the "We get it you're gay but don't shove it down our throats." But I don't want to get too off topic.

Now Discovery is being canceled early. And by early I mean, the writers weren't given proper notice that their show was ending. They were halfway through production and allowed to adjust the end episodes of the season to try to give a satisfying ending.

In Picard and Lower Decks, we got two sapphic relationships ("sapphic" meaning a romantic or sexual relationship between two women who aren't necessarily strictly lesbians) and they were pretty good. People had been asking for Seven to be queer and Jeri Ryan had been playing her as such since her introduction (see again: Rick Berman) and to see her finally get to express that was really healing. Mariner got off to rocky feet when the creators tried to pull a "Dumbledore is gay" where they said she was bi but didn't commit to it, but they she actually got a fairly satisfying relationship in season 3.

But in their most recent seasons, both were completely written out. Seven/Raffi gave us no explanation beyond that they "broke up." They went out of their way to keep them from being on screen together for most of the season. Mattis said in a Reddit AMA that he wanted Seven to be captain and Raffi to be first officer at the end of the season and that Starfleet would have regulations against relationships between the two despite the biggest reason Seven was promoted to captain was that she was a rule breaker. We didn't even get that much for Mariner/Jennifer. Jenn just wasn't in this season except for two background appearances.

And in Strange New Worlds there's just… nothing. SNW is the most recent new show and there's no queer representation. They code Ortegas as gay but don't actually confirm it on screen. There's just… nothing.

And this is how you loose the culture war. The bigots make enough noise that the show that is supposed to be a beacon of diversity doesn't necessarily side with them but they just kinda bow out of the conversation. They decide that it's easier to not bother than to take a stand. And so I and many many queer star trek fans are left wondering:

Does the franchise even want us any more?

#Star Trek #Prick Berman #No Gays In Trek #Disillusionment Trek

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utilitycaster · 6 months ago

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I agree what the cast says does not hold as much weight as what happens on stream. I think this is why I get frustrated by the 'Orym is to blame for Laudna killing Bor'dor' debates, using things Liam and/or Marisha have said on 4-sided dive that contradict the actual scene, where Marisha states Laudna barely notices Orym and Ashton, and *nothing* will stop her from doing what she wants to do. At worst, it's inaction. Have interviews and things like that always held so much weight in fandom?

I am absolutely the wrong person to ask here; I was not super in fandom when I was younger. I am going to, as I am wont to do, make some educated guesses but please take with a grain of salt.

I think there's a few things going on. A lot of people have told me that Glee was the first fandom they personally recall where it became about winning more than like, having fun and sharing ideas, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is at least an influence. (The idea that two ships that do not conflict and indeed have incompatible sexualities are in some kind of deathly serious competition is truly so baffling to me that I have to chalk up that particular bit of, if I may use a yiddishism here, mishegos, to Glee for sure.)

I also think that there was a time and there are shows where interviews did (or do) carry more weight, namely, those with executive meddling, or loss of creative control, or, notably, queer ships until quite recently. I have a lot of friends in the Star Trek fandom even though I'm not knowledgeable at all and from what I am given to understand, there's been a few ships squashed or delayed by executive whim or homophobia that the actors would pretty openly and consistently confirm at conventions. (The ones I know are Riker and Troi; and Garak and Bashir; but I have only hazy recollections of TNG and know NOTHING of DS9 so this is second-hand). I've talked about this before, but Word of God used to carry more weight for me when you simply couldn't have same gender romances on network TV or most mainstream film without risking your career. Now? You're a coward and a panderer.

Anyway I think with actual play specifically, which is improvised (ie, intent can shift dramatically and unexpectedly) and which has a lot of talkback shows and also a disproportionately huge amount of content people get in the habit of cherrypicking, and in extreme cases this turns into cherrypicking themselves straight out of the actual narrative and into microexpressions and OOC interviews and side conversations from three years ago.

I also, and I am too tired and too many drinks in (two drinks in, to be clear) to articulate this tonight, find that actual play in particular has amassed a certain fandom that I think was attracted to things I like and support (queer characters, women/queer people/POC creating and driving their own characters, independent creator-owned productions, improvised and therefore at times really unique stories, not needing to have streaming services in some cases) but also doesn't actually like Actual Play as a medium (see: every single D20 fandom meltdown low-key boils down to "I have zero genre awareness of both whatever is going on narratively and also I high-key loathe D&D as a means of storytelling and particularly the existence of violence in narrative, yet I am watching the Violent Narrative D&D show, so dance or me, my puppets, wait why aren't you dancing.") So I think you get a lot of people who are just making dumb fucking arguments because they decide what they believe and then poorly reverse engineer the support instead of doing things in the proper order and I think the people claiming Orym is responsible for Bor'Dor's death are in that category and we should stop treating them as people who are adding anything of worth to the conversation.

#answered #Anonymous #cr spoilers

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p0ssywhippedcream · 1 year ago

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idek if you do HC i feel like ive never seen you do them? anyways cuddling HC w piper mclean 🫧

hey love!! I think I've done a few but they usually turn into small quickies

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

❥ When Piper cuddles, she wraps her entire form around the receiving person. Her legs get tangled between yours, toes sliding down your calves as her arm dives underneath you to hold you tighter. Her hands make a small maze behind your back.

❥ She leaves little kisses across your forehead since that's where she can reach with her head so close to yours. She likes looking at you, your face, being able to affirm herself at anytime that you really are there. With her.

❥ She tends to fall asleep a lot during cuddles, the reassuring motions of your hands on her back and your breath on her face lulling her into dreams. Nightmares don't come often if she falls asleep in your arms and when she wakes up well rested, it's because she's in your grip.

❥ She does like face-to-face cuddles quite a bit, to study your expressions and to be able to kiss you at any time. But she also loves being the little spoon! She loves knowing you don't think go her as a burden and she won't ask for it but always agrees when you offer to spoon her.

❥ She loves being the big spoon too, esp when you're upset or when she feels like smelling your shampoo. She prefers it a lot when you feel like you're weighing her down because it simultaneously lets her ground you tightly and it keeps her facial expressions hidden. She usually gets emotional about her own insecurities hearing you talk bad about yourself, knowing what it feels like and she doesn't want you to feel like she's making it about herself.

❥ She of course cares about your comfort, firstly making sure you're tucked in the blankets and resting on a pillow. She asks every now and then if you're okay with your position, usually when she shifts or you move.

❥ If you seem uncomfortable or tell her you are, she will very quickly and carefully detangle herself, making sure there is a good amount of distance between you two while asking if you're alright.

❥ And if you don't like cuddling face-to-face or so tightly, even though Piper really does, she will agree to anything as long as she gets to hold you. She has intense anxiety over accidentally hurting you or charmspeaking you and will do anything in her power to guarantee your comfort.

❥ She truly though needs comfort herself sometimes, and that's usually how cuddles happen. Her confidence is mostly stable but there will be the occasional moment when it slips and she goes back to thinking she is only trouble and useless.

❥ She doesn't like telling you when she feels this way, hating to be even more of a burden but you can see it in her kaleidoscope eyes. It starts with a reluctant discussion, you reassuring her and eventually tucking her in your arms and gently brushing away tears.

❥ Piper likes the way you love in these moments, all soft and caring and intentional. Love can be messy and confusing but in your relationship, it only gets messy in the kitchen. You always try to communicate with her and she tries to do the same, both of you making sure you have conversations, not arguments and that your needs are met. And after a rough convo, it almost always ends with her holding you.

❥ She can cry a lot during cuddling and sometimes, it's just from the sheer overwhelming force of her love for you. You always keep tissues next to your bed and these special moments where it's just you two intertwining to become one are always a place for vulnerability.

❥ She is definitely a physical touch gal and just needs to be kissed and pet and held sometimes. She can survive without it, esp if you don’t feel like giving it, but she had to go so long without proper attention and affection that it hurts for her to be without it again.

❥ Since she had to deal with an absent mom and an absent dad, knowing that you put down any distractions (ex; books, phone) and just stay present with her as you hold her means the world. She absolutely kisses you dizzy when you just stare at her and listen to her and admire her.

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amazingmsme · 1 year ago

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Under the Table

AN: Was worried I might not finish since I was leaving my nana’s house today, but I was able to get it done pretty early! Here’s day 8 with the Shelby sibs ganging up on Tommy!

Perhaps the only time the Shelby family behaved like a normal, proper one was when they sat down for dinner. The sound of silverware clanking and scraping against plates could barely be heard over soft chatter. Talks of what they did that day, requests to pass the potatoes, and compliments on a delicious meal well made. You didn't make a scene at dinner, unless you wanted to face the wrath of Aunt Polly. Dinner was when they all behaved like civilized people and held conversation. Everyone knew that, especially Ada. Thomas shot her a glare, which she returned with an innocent grin.

He felt another squeeze on his knees and swore under his breath just as he hit the underside of the table. A loud bang startled everyone, jostling plates and causing glasses to slosh precariously. Polly gave a stern and unamused look from across the table, arching a brow.

"Everything alright Tommy?" she asked, though it was clear it didn't come from a place of concern. He gave a curt nod, staring intently at his plate.

"Yes, everything's fine."

"You sure? 'Cause that's about the fifth time I've had to catch my glass before you knock it over," she said accusingly. "So what's got you so damn fidgety?"

"I assure you, I'm fine," he insisted, making Ada stifle a laugh. Tommy fixed her with a look as Polly shifted her attention. Ada beamed from ear to ear as she scribbled her nails over her brother's kneecap, making him spasm and fight back a laugh. Unfortunately for him, his family was accustomed to the sight and slowly put two and two together.

"And you? Mind sharing what's so damn funny?" she asked, cocking her head expectantly. Arthur bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, glancing at Tommy across the table.

"What, I can't be in a good mood?" she asked, leaning forward not so subtly and latching onto both of his knees. Thomas couldn't hold back the bark of laughter as he curled up, kicking the table so hard it hopped off the ground. Arthur stopped his and Polly's plates from sliding off. She was trying hard not to appear amused.

"Not if it's going to ruin our dinner," she said curtly.

"I don't see how that has anything to do with me. Tommy's the one flailin' about!" What had been one off squeezes turned into relentless ones, and he found himself sinking down in his chair as loud hysterical laughs echoed through the room.

Everyone was amused, eyes fixed on the scene before them. Arthur at this point was laughing along and managed to catch one of his brother's kicking legs. Tommy's eyes went wide and his chuckles kicked up a notch, morphing into nervous giggles as he tried in vain to stop him from taking off his shoes.

"NO! Arthur, Ihihi'll kill you!" he threatened, even holding his butter knife in a defensive position to add weight to his words, but it still wasn't enough to negate the effects of his rarely heard laughter.

"Well there's a sight you don't see everyday," Finn joked, a wide grin in his face as he watched from across the table. "Ada, don't forget to go for his ribs!"

"Nohoho, dohon't you dahahare!" he growled through gritted teeth, desperate to hold back but breathless snickers continued to push through the barricade of his teeth. He looked to Polly with pleading eyes. She was the only voice of reason in this madhouse, and the only one who wouldn't outright turn on him.

She knew she should put an end to this, to save Thomas from the wrath of his siblings and turn their attention back to their food, where it should be. But it's been so long since she's seen them all get along like this. And when was the last time she'd seen Tommy actually laugh and enjoy himself. So she really couldn't stop the fond smile that found its way on her face, or the warm feeling growing in her chest.

"Pohoholly! M-make thehem stohohohop!" he pleaded, but she saw something sparkling in his eyes and she knew: he was having fun.

"If you make him flip the table, you're all cleaning up." He scoffed indignantly at that response before chuckles and snorts overtook him once more.

"Except you Thomas, I'm sure this is already punishment enough," she teased, shooting him a wink from across the table. She grabbed her plate and glass of water and left them to their devices.

And when she heard a telltale crash followed by Tommy's smug voice, "That's what you fucking get!" she just smiled to herself. She peeked in through the doorway to see Arthur, Ada and Finn picking up scraps of food and china from the floor. Thomas stood in the corner, brushing himself off and glaring at the lot of them, fighting off his grin.

"So, was it worth it?" she asked.

"No," Tommy answered the same time the rest answered with an enthusiastic yes.

#tickletober 2023 #tickletober #tickletober day 8 #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #ada shelby #arthur shelby #finn shelby #polly gray #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic #peaky blinders tickle fic #ticklish!tommy #ticklish!thomas

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sephirothsplaything · 9 months ago

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DNA| Sec.80 high power-chapter 6.1

A/N: Me when this is the shortest chapter i've ever written. Yes this is filler but I promise some of the stuff in here will be important later on.

also, young rhaella flashback with her mommy TT

Kings Landing, Aemond’s 12th name day, Pre the death of Lady Laena Velyeron.

“ I wish to ride with father!” A young Baela exclaimed. The family was preparing to set off towards King’s landing for Aemond Targayen’s twelfth name day.

Laena smiled fondly at her daughter. She glanced at her youngest, Rhaella. With her large, violet eyes and her silver curls piled into an updo on her head, the girl was only one and ten years of age.

“Would you like to ride on Caraxes, Rhaella?” Laena asked. Rhaella shook her head furiously. Her father’s red dragon was much too fast for her liking. Instead, she turned towards her mother’s own dragon, Vhagar.

Baela pulled Rhaena by Caraxes, sticking her tongue out to Rhaella childishly.

“Rhaena and I shall have all the fun!” Baela said. Rhaella clutched the wrapped gift in her hand, intended for her cousin Aemond.

“Baela, be nice.” Laena reminded. Daemon looked on at his children in amusement. He couldn’t understand where Rhaella’s quiet nature came from.

Daemon helped his two twins onto Caraxes, before hiking himself to mount. Rhaella watched the dragon take off into the sky in envy.

One day, she’d hope. One day she too will be in the skies.

“Come, my love, let us be off,” Laena said. Rhaella’s tiny brown hand brushed against Vhagar’s hardened scales. The mighty she-dragon allowed it, even softly chuffing at the action.

Laena picked up her daughter, mounting Vhagar. The dragon was slow to leave the ground as Laena tightened her grip on the reigns.

“Vhagar, sōvēs.” She said. Rhaella held onto her mother’s waist as the weight shifted and the dragon took to the sky.

“Are you excited to see your cousins, Rhaella?” Laena asked. Rhaella hummed thoughtfully. Her older cousin, Helaena, was three and ten years old and was always nice to her. Rhaella had been eager to speak with her again. She hated Aegon, his sleazy gazes made her want to hide.

“I took one of Father’s books, for Aemond,” Rhaella said. Laena couldn’t fight the smile. Daemon would be deeply annoyed at the discovery.

“I’m sure Aemond will appreciate it, dear,” Laena said.

After a while, the pair flew over Kings Landing. Laena landed Vhagar a ways away from the city. Laena jumped down from her dragon, helping Rhaella off as well.

Rhaella adjusted the blush-colored fabrics of her dress. The matching headband was off-centered due to the wind. Chuckling, Laena adjusted it on Rhaella’s head.

“There, and how pretty you look!” Laena gushed. She glanced at the book in her daughter’s hands with a playful smile.

“I’m sure Aemond will agree as well,” Laena said. Rhaella looked away from her mother bashfully. She was always saying things like that. Rhaella supposed her mother liked to jest.

Mother and daughter walk to the gates of the Red Keep. In the outer courts, the festivities had long since begun.

Rhaella could see her two sisters already in conversation with their cousins, Jace and Luke.

“Laena, I see you’ve made it.” A voice rang. Princess Rhaenyra approached the two, smiling eagerly. Rhaella watched the two women embrace as she stood awkwardly to the side.

Pulling back from Laena, Rhaenyra smiled at the small girl by her side.

“ Aren’t you just a proper lady!” Rhaenyra said. Rhaella gave a shy smile to the princess.

Leaving the women to catch up, Rhaella walked over to the long table. Baela was engaged in a spirited conversation with Jace while Rhaena and Luke watched on.

“Where is Aemond?” Rhaella asked. She had noticed that the boy was nowhere to be seen, and on his name day no less.

“I don’t much care,” Baela said. Rhaella’s eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. She had thought her sister would have the courtesy of being a little softer on this day.

Rhaella abandoned the group, wandering far from the party. The bright sun was beaming down on her face, temporarily obscuring her vision.

Then, she saw him. Propped up in front of a Weirwood tree, there sat Aemond.

Rhaella sighed out, glad her walking efforts we not in vain. She took a seat in the grass opposite to him.

Aemond glanced up in surprise. Rhaella and her quiet footsteps had startled him.

“I suppose everyone is missing me if they sent you here,” Aemond said. Rhaella toyed with the book’s wrapped parchment.

“ In truth, no one much cares,” Rhaella said, rather bluntly. Despite her tone, her eyes met his, clear with mirth.

“I thought as much,” Aemond said, sullen look deepening. His attention was pulled to the present in the girls’ hands.

“What’s that?” Aemond asked. Rhaella passed the book to him.

“It’s for you,” Rhaella said. Aemond eagerly ripped apart the covering, revealing the book.

‘ Dragons and Histories’

“ Father will be cross with me for taking it, but we have plenty of others,” Rhaella said.

“Thank you, Rhaella,” Aemond said gratefully. Rhaella shrugged. She had read through the same book many times herself. She knew her cousin shared the same hunger to learn.

Scooting closer to him, Rhaella flipped to a page she knew well. Sketches of Balerion, the Black Dread filled the page. Among all the dragons, Rhaella favored him above all else.

“Father told me he was named after the Old Valyrian God of death,” Rhaella said. Aemond looked at her in awe. His cousin always seemed to know much and more than he ever could.

“I want a dragon like that,” Aemond said. He longed for something undeniable in power. Something that the realm would have no choice but to acknowledge.

“I think I would too.” Rhaella agreed. Aemond gave her a side glance.

“ Balerion was ridden by Aegon the Conqueror, he would be best suited for a man.”

Rhaella scoffed at the absurdity of the comment. “ Princess Aerea rode him, you should know that if the maesters have taught you anything at all.” She said.

Aemond fell silent at Rhaella’s scolding. Rhaella’s eyes soften. Perhaps she had been too harsh, it was his name day after all.

“One day, you and I will fly all over the realm together,” Rhaella said.

“I want to see the ruins of Old Valyria,” Aemond said. Rhaella pulled a face. Old Valyria was a dangerous place but she declined to add the fact in for Aemond’s sake.

“I’d much rather see Dorne,” Rhaella said. It was the only place their ancestors couldn’t overtake. Her curiosities regarding the place always bubbled over.

“Dorne, why?” Aemond asked. Rhaella closed the book, pushing it to the side.

“It’s warm and the women are fair,” Rhaella said. Aemond glanced at her in confusion.

“Perhaps I’d marry a Dornish prince as well. Rhaella added. Aemond grimaced. Why she would venture to Dorne for a husband? It was beyond him.

“They’re all right, you are quite strange,” Aemond said. Rolling her eyes, Rhaella stood up in a huff, dusting off her dress.

Aemond stood as well, placing the book under his arm.

“I don’t much like being called that,” Rhaella said. The two began walking to the festivities. Rhaella was fixed on not missing the cake.

Suddenly, Rhaella halted in place, a sly smile dancing across her face. Turning to Aemond, she places a peck on his cheek, causing the boy to freeze.

A furious blush makes its way to Aemond’s cheek, much to Rhaella’s enjoyment.

“What was that for?” Aemond asked, fumbling his words.

Rhaella stared at him in bemusement. She turned to continue walking, Aemond quick on her heels.

“You should cheer up, cousin,” Rhaella said.

“I’m here for you, after all.”

#black oc #house of the dragon #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #baela targaryen #oc character #aemond targaryen #rhaena of pentos #laena velaryon #vhagar #caraxes #house of the dragon x reader #house targaryen #hotd fanfic

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faulty-writes · 2 years ago

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[ I have no excuse for why I made this other than since I lost my cat I've been going to a cat cafe so I figured, fuck it...make a cat cafe story featuring Tenya. Also, I've been rewatching Bee and Puppycat so the reader's personality is based on Bee. I'm trying to get back into updating my blog so thank you all for your patience. ]

[ Thanks to Mei Hatsume, you scored a date with the president of Class A. Of course, you always found him interesting, and you have the perfect idea of what to do for your date. Unfortunately, Tenya doesn't seem to be as thrilled as you are. ]

"I'm afraid I do not see the potential or thrill in participating in such an activity," he stated, lowering his phone to look at you. Yes, it was rude to be staring at one's phone when having a conversation. But you had just texted him the link that held the information regarding where you wanted to go on your date.

"Aw come on!" you whined, stomping your foot like a child which made him frown. Honestly, he wasn't entirely certain why he had agreed to go on a "date" with you or rather, why he had allowed Mei Hatsume to convince him to go on a date with you.

Granted he knew your close relationship with her and the tendency the two of you had to create rather destructive pieces of support gear. Still, he supposed that Hatsume had quite an interesting way of persuasion and he found himself unable to refuse. Yet, he did not find the idea of going to a "cat cafe" fitting for a date.

While he had nothing against animals, he dreaded the idea of getting cat hair on his clothing and or in his food or drink. 'I suppose I have no choice,' he thought sighing. 'Even if Y/n has the tendency to act like a child, they hold great skill over their craft and I suppose I have not done an accurate job as class president,' he thought.

'Yes...I should extend Class A's friendly nature toward other students, and other departments even, for that is what a true hero would do! Bring others together no matter what their differences!" He looked at you, noting your frown and slightly misted-over eyes.

"Very well," he said, crossing his arms. "Really!?" you squeaked out, smiling. Tenya said nothing, only nodded in response which made you giggle. "I knew you liked me enough to go there!" you responded, folding your hands behind your back, and swaying on the tips of your toes.

Your eyes scanned Tenya from head to toe, despite the fact his body appeared stiff, he was dressed rather nicely. He was wearing a white shirt with a blue long-sleeved button-up shirt over it and his jeans were matched nicely with black sneakers.

"I'll ensure that we have the proper transportation to this...cafe," he stated, completely ignoring your earlier comment as he tapped his finger against his phone. But your smile remained because you knew you were right.

Tenya was...strange, but that's part of the reason you liked him. "Forgive me, would you prefer to take the bus or a private form of transportation?" His question made your smile grow, and somehow, he felt there were sinister intentions behind it.

He was by no means spoiled. Yet, he would have preferred private transportation as opposed to a noisy, rather overcrowded one. It baffled him why someone would choose to take the bus over a compact vehicle. "Mm..." he turned his head when he felt your hands tighten around his arm.

He would have normally scolded you for the way you so tenderly nuzzled the side of your face against his shoulder. Instead, he took a breath through his nose and resisted the urge to sigh. Then he turned to glance out the window, watching as the world zoomed by in a blur.

It reminded him of when he used his quirk and oddly enough made him feel relaxed. 'It's only a short ride,' he reminded himself. The look on your face when you finally stepped off the bus and made your way to the cafe was one that Tenya was familiar with, that certain look of happiness and joy.

It was the same expression he hoped to make others feel through his heroic actions. But there was something different about your happiness, it was almost childlike and worry-free. "Yay!" you said, giggling as you clapped your hands.

He focused his gaze on you for a few moments before looking at the "cat cafe" you seemed to favor. It looked rather small and made from wood, which resembled more of a cabin than an actual business. It had a red roof with a matching door and the strangest-looking cat statue standing near it.

The statue was colored white and looked to be carved out of marble with a rather unsettling smile on its face. It was positioned next to a blackboard and Tenya reached up, adjusting his glasses to get a better look at what was scribbled across it.

"Mm..." he frowned, somewhat irritated at the individual who wrote on it considering it was illegible. He turned, focusing his attention on the building once more and the one display window it had. He noted the sleeping felines that were pressed up against the interior side. "Let's go!" you cried, startling him in the process.

But he barely had the time to scold you considering you proceeded to drag him through the front door. He could hear a bell ring as the two of you stepped inside and immediately noticed a hallway with two doors. One led to the cafe where you could order food and drink and the other, he assumed, was where the cats were.

"You're going to love it here! The food is kind of eh, but it all goes to support the cats!" you informed him, although more than likely he already knew that. "So, what do feel like having?" you asked, after you had dragged him into the cafe.

The smell of burnt coffee and overcooked eggs filled his nostrils and he swallowed hard, suppressing a dry heave. It was a little overbearing to believe that someone was that neglectful with their cooking. This was a business, a silly one at that, but still very much expected to present itself professionally.

He turned to you, raising one of his unusual eyebrows. "Are you most certain this is the ideal location for our date?" he asked, watching you stare at him dumbfounded. "Of course, it is!" you replied, what prompted him to ask such a question?

"Oh, I forgot to mention you can order a hot latte and ask for a kitty on top!" Tenya knitted his eyebrows. "A kitty on top?" he repeated, clearly uncertain of what you meant. "Mmhm!" you responded with a nod. "They make a kitty using the foam on top of the coffee or whatever," you said, waving him off.

"I don't like lattes, but they taste good with a kitty on top," you said, once again confusing Tenya. "Pardon, but if one has a certain disdain for something they should not force themselves to consume it!" he urged, chopping his hand madly through the air.

"You are liable to cause yourself to grow ill that way-" It wasn't uncommon for others to ignore him when he got like this, but somehow the way you bluntly ignored him and walked up to the counter and started ordering made him a little more irritated than normal.

"Pardon!" he said, walking up behind you with his hand chopping right above your head. "Oh, and um..." you tapped your lips, looking over the menu to decide what else you wanted, and turned to look at Tenya who paused and glanced back at you with uncertainty.

"Oh Iida," you said as if what he was doing was normal. "Did you want something too?" he blinked, somewhat baffled by your question. He slowly retracted his arm and clasped his chin in thought, he hadn't anticipated ordering anything.

Then again, it would be rather rude not to assist a local business. "Oh, I didn't mention this earlier, but I forgot my wallet so you're going to have to pay," his body jolted, and he looked at you with a heated expression. Granted he was going to insist on paying simply because that was the correct and moral thing to do.

The gentleman should always pay, but he couldn't resist the urge to inform you of the wrongs you committed yet again. "Are you not aware of the dangers of leaving your wallet behind? It contains a various amount of information regarding-" his voice was drowned out when you turned to the cashier, twiddling your thumbs.

"Make that another hot latte with a kitty on top and he'll have a sandwich too, not sure what kind he likes just whatever you have is good," you said with a shrug before Tenya screamed "Excuse me!?" from over your shoulder.

You hummed softly, happily drinking your latte while your feet swayed underneath the table. Tenya was sitting across from you. His body was stiff, and he was trying his best not to flinch whenever one of the cats came to rub itself against his leg.

He also tried to ignore the fact that cat hair was floating through the air making his appetite lessen. "Is something wrong?" you asked. "You're not eating or drinking, but if you don't want your latte or sandwich, I'll take them. I don't care if you've already bitten or taken a sip," you explained only to hear Tenya sigh in response.

"The food and beverage are not the issues," he replied, crossing his arms. "I'm afraid I do not favor the...cleanliness of this establishment nor the feline that is continuously brushing against and scratching at the back of my legs," you blinked, tilting your head to one side before placing your hands on the table and looking underneath it.

"Oh yeah," you said, smiling as you watched the feline rub against Tenya's leg yet again. "He's one of my favorites," you commented, leaning up once more. "So don't make fun of him," you added crossing your arms.

He stiffened once again. "I...I do not believe I was-" A surprised yelp came when the cat jumped onto his lap. You smiled, watching your favorite feline turn and lock eyes with him. Tenya blinked in response, opening his mouth to speak before the feline's paw contacted his face and knocked his glasses off.

You chuckled, "See? He likes you!" Tenya clenched his jaw and immediately stood up, forcing the feline off his lap. "Do you find this amusing!?" he demanded, ignoring the small scratch he now had on the right side of his cheek.

"Hm?" you blinked in response to his words and glanced away. "Well part of me does," you admitted, "but other parts are confused," Tenya raised his eyebrow in response to your words. "I'm afraid I do not understand," he responded, although you knew from experience simple things tended to go over his head.

"Perhaps we need to discuss how to properly regulate your emotions," he stated, leaning over to pick up his glasses. "Regulate my emotions?" you repeated, tilting your head to one side while Tenya adjusted his glasses and proceeded to narrow his eyes at you.

He knew you were brilliant, at least when it came to crafting support gear but like him, you seemed to lack knowing how to properly engage in social interaction. While it was his duty as a hero to help others when needed, emotions and social interaction were somewhat personal, and he could not rightfully tell you what to do.

Still, he found you confusing and childlike, and yet, that was somehow charming at the same time. It drew him to you, and made him wish to help you but did you truly need help or simply guidance? It was a thin line, and he was unsure if he wanted to cross it.

"Perhaps we should take our leave," he stated, taking his latte over to the trash. He had only taken one sip, and while he hated the idea of wasting it, he could see the pieces of cat hair that stuck to the opening of the lid. More than likely said hair got into his drink making it inedible.

"Hm?" you knitted your eyebrows, watching as he threw away his drink and placed your hands on your hips. "I said I'd drink that if you didn't want it," you reminded him. "I'm afraid that 'latte' was inedible," he replied, turning to look at you.

"Why? A little cat hair never hurts you know!" you shouted as he walked past you and toward the exit. "I believe it would be best if we departed now," he said, using that all-too-familiar stern tone. "What? But we just got here!" you whined, making him frown.

Was he being too harsh? He knew it was rude to refuse to continue an activity that brought another joy, and he understood this may make him look like the villain. But he simply could not fathom why one would insist on having a date in a location that clearly did not practice cleanliness.

He stared at you for a long moment before reaching into his pocket for his phone and briefly glancing at the screen. "Very well," he said, slipping the phone back into his pocket. "I suppose we have spare time," he grew slightly confused when your face lit up.

"Really!?" you squealed, happily stomping your feet against the floor before rushing over and embracing him in a hug. You ignored how his body stiffened at the unfamiliar contact, but in a way that made you want to squeeze him even more.

"Thank you, Iida!" you said after nuzzling your face into his chest. "You won't regret it!" He narrowed his eyes but said nothing, only nodded in response. Perhaps it was better to remain quiet in situations like this as there seemed to be a rather odd gap between you and him when it came to understanding one another.

Or so he assumed. You were somewhat of a mystery to him, and perhaps he was a mystery to you. "Come on, I'll show you another one of my favorite kitties!" You didn't think twice about reaching down to grab his hand, and his eyes widened at the strange sensation coursing through his body because of your touch.

Your hand was warm and caused his skin to tingle even as you dragged him over to one of the beds that stuck to the glass display window. Oddly enough, his heart rate increased slightly when you turned and smiled at him causing the oddest warmth to rush through his cheeks.

Was this why you were so different and mysterious? You treated everyone as if you knew them personally and while you paid no mind to personal space, your actions were that of kindness. Perhaps you too had a hero's heart, and you weren't aware of it.

Still, he knew he couldn't let himself get too lost in thought especially because you began speaking when you reached the window and picked up the cat that was currently laying down in the bed. You began to tell him the cat's name and its personality, how you had bonded with him since visiting the cafe months and months ago.

Oddly, he found himself beginning to smile. You were rather informative when you chose to be, and it was charming. However, he continued to keep track of the time and when an hour passed and you had finished introducing him to a few more favorites of yours, he once again insisted the two of you leave.

Although you weren't sure what you were expecting out of this date, you assumed Tenya would at least stop for dessert or another bite to eat. This did not happen, but he was kind enough to walk you to the door of your dormitory building.

"I'm afraid that my opinion is rather firm in disapproving of a date, or romantic time spent together taking place in a 'cat cafe' as it's a rather inappropriate setting," he explained continuing to chop his hand through the air.

While you were somewhat sour about his opinion, you couldn't help but notice how the outside light reflected off the lenses of his glasses and how he looked rather handsome in the semi-darkness of the night. "Hm..." you hummed in response, letting your eyes trace along his cheek where you noticed that small scratch from earlier.

It looked less irritated, but you stepped forward, invading his space without care. His eyes widened and his lips were slightly curved as he looked down at you much like a child would. You took another step closer and cupped his cheek, noting that it felt slightly warm against your palm.

Your thumb slowly grazed his cheek, feeling the slight indent of the scratch. "Mm...I almost forgot about that scratch," you said, and his eyes softened. "Oh...I see," he glanced away, trying his best to ignore the urge to step back as he knew that would be rude.

His scratch slightly burned when you touched it, but he ignored the slight discomfort. However, he completely forgot about it when you closed the small amount of space between the two of you and pressed your chest against his. "P-pardon!" he exclaimed with bright rosy cheeks.

You ignored him and got onto your tippy toes and ever so gently leaned forward, pressing your lips against that scratch in a tender kiss. "There," you said before leaning away from Tenya who despite having a red face, also had knitted eyebrows.

"I..." he cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. "I do not understand why you-" a snicker interrupted him, and you looked at him with a smile before folding your hands behind your back. "Your mother never kissed your boo boo's better as a kid?" you questioned continuing to snicker.

"I...I am afraid I do not understand the logic behind such an action, wounds heal on their own or through medical intervention. It would be unethical to-" You held your hand up, walking past him to open the door. "Well thanks, Iida!" you said cheerfully before stepping inside, somewhat eager to tell Mei how your date went.

Tenya's jaw hung open, and his stare remained on the now-closed door. He was in slight disbelief as to how this 'date' ended with you. 'Perhaps I was too intimidating,' he thought, feeling the smallest amount of guilt fill him before he forced himself to turn away.

He felt some relief when he returned to his own dormitory building, but a sigh left him when he stepped through the door which caught the attention of his friends, Uraraka and Izuku who just so happened to be sitting in the living room.

"I-Iida?" Izuku looked over from his position on the couch. "We were wondering where you went!" Uraraka said, springing to her feet. Tenya stopped and turned his head. "Oh, I apologize," he said, feeling more guilt spread through his heart. He hated making others worry about him.

"Y-you don't have to-" Izuku paused and stood up. He knew that it wasn't exactly worth arguing with Tenya seeing as he was set in his ways. So instead, he walked past Uraraka and toward the other male. "Um, s-someone told us Y/n asked you out on a date?" he inquired, hoping he wasn't overstepping his boundaries.

Tenya pressed his lips together but nodded. "Yes, Hatsume convinced me," he explained briefly and Uraraka's eyes lit up. "Really!? How was it? Y/n is super friendly, and they make amazing things just like Hatsume, right?" she said, smiling at Izuku who blushed in response and nodded frantically.

"They are...quite interesting," Tenya responded. "Where did you go on your date!?" Uraraka asked excitedly, taking a step toward him. "I believe it's called a cat cafe," he replied and Izuku knitted his eyebrows together.

"C-cat cafe?" he repeated, "I didn't know you...l-liked that sort of thing I-Iida," although it made sense. Cats were independent and clean, but as far as he could remember Tenya didn't speak of any favoritism toward any animal.

"I...I am not certain if I would return to that place of business," he replied, but his voice was laced with confusion. Uraraka frowned and tilted her head to one side. "Did the date go wrong?" she asked with the innocence of a child.

Tenya frowned and grasped his chin. "I...am not quite sure how to respond to your inquiry," he didn't dislike the date, yet at the same time he was not certain if he'd want to go on another date with you. Overall, his date with you was pleasant and you did make him experience a feeling he was unfamiliar with.

Whether that was a good or bad sign was still unknown to him, yet he wouldn't mind continuing to get to know you. "What do you mean? Do you like Y/n or not?" Uraraka asked, almost sounding offended by Tenya's previous response.

"I believe Y/n is rather childish but admirable, and perhaps if I was given the chance, I would favor getting to know them more," he said with a sigh, hoping this answer would satisfy her. "Well...if you really like them...I t-think you two would be good for each other," Izuku responded.

"Hm?" Tenya looked at him with slight surprise. "You would support our future relationship, whatever it may be?" he asked, mostly for confirmation. Izuku nodded, "I do too! After all, it would be useful to have connections to the Department of Support!" Uraraka added.

"Hm...I see," he said before taking a deep breath. "I believe I will begin my bedtime routine, please be aware it's past curfew and lights are strictly off at nine," he said before walking past his friends. His mind drifted to thoughts of you as he walked down the hallway to his bedroom.

He was slightly surprised by today's events and his stomach twisted at the thought of seeing you again. But knowing his friends approved of a possible relationship with you meant more than he wanted to admit and perhaps he would be lucky enough to be the one to initiate a date next time.

#tenya x you #iida x you #tenya x reader #tenya x y/n #iida x reader #iida x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha x you #faulty writes: tenya iida: 23 #faulty writes: tenya iida: one shot: 23

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sapphicflower-ao3 · 3 months ago

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this is gonna be a RANT; im devastated by your fic "in your dreams, nerd" rn. so a while back in high school i was in marching band and i had a friend who i made to be my co-section leader. we met through marching band, and i'm his senior by two years. we got really close because of band, despite him being a little mean to me sometimes.

anyways, i had been with a different person at tht time right (they were my first love; wasn't really the ideal relationship, was quite toxic actually).

when i was still with that person, i used to have consistent, amazingly realistic dreams about my co-section leader. it would all feel real; i would feel the way his arms would encircle around my waist. i would always wake up feeling conflicted

although i think i was in love with my (now ex) partner, i think i might have been in love with my co-section leader this whole time. this whole time i've literally just pushed the feelings away like ehh he's just a really good friend

but i genuinely cannot forget all of the times we've been the bestest of friends, and incredibly, TERRIBLY tender with each other. one time we sat knee to knee in the stands during an out-of-home competition and we shared a blanket and when i wanted to put vaseline on my face he did it for me; and that was the same competition where i asked for comfort and he knew exactly what to do

the time where the band was at disney and i helped him pick out a shirt; held it to his chest to see if it looked good, and it was just so DOMESTIC. and then because we fell out AT disney our friendship was never the same. but we made up months later and honestly our friendship breakup hurt WAY more than my breakup with my ex partner

the way we used to text all the time, send eachother memes, it wouldn't be the same if he wasn't there; i often wondered if he wondered about my absence too. i miss his friendship very much way more than the idea of even being romantically involved

there are so many other things i could say and i wish i could tell him how i felt but we literally never talk. it's been a really long time since we've had a proper conversation, how exactly do you tell someone you're barely friends with now that you love them?? i considered getting really inebriated to tell him so he can reject me, but idk it feels so stupid and i feel stupid and ugh

it feels like there will never be an opportunity for that kind of thing again tbh

oh that def sounds like a story of the one that got away!!! 🥺 and also sounds like such a devastating and heartbreaking experience, idk how you managed to get through that alive…

but uhhh i really am the worst person to give advice on anything given my lack of experience ;—;

i will say though that sometimes there’s ppl who we wish we could revive back into our lives, but we just can’t go back to the past. sometimes the only option is to forego closure and just move on.

but other times it’s possible to reconnect again. idk which of those categories you guys would fall in, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to reach out and see how they’re doing? with a relationship so complex and close like that, maybe they even feel similarly abt you

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#rani’s ask box #icb in your dreams nerd brought back trauma for u #sorry… 😢

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rcguish · 20 days ago

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battling ; terastallization vs mega evolution. - feat. thoughts on silver's savings.

i've been thinking about silver and currency lately, and it has been leading me into the conversation of how he uses battling as a main source of dopamine + income + mental exercise + exercise for his team.

* roughly has 500k pokedollars saved up, almost purely from travels and special / rare items he’d come across and sell. all of his income is reliant on that and earnings from match wins. he does occasionally give an amulet coin to weavile, most usually when he's under the impression that he will not be needing to utilize full strategy. if it's easy competition, then amulet coin. if he's feeling the need to strategize rather than rely on brute strength and team synergy, focus sash. weavile will most likely be in every single battle as a regular rotator, precisely why he'd be the default amulet holder.

battling.

battling, and in his specialization with trading as well, had been first introduced to silver as a means of control. as soon as he'd been snatched from right out of his own yard, he'd been trained and raised to fight. sneasel had been a gifted young pokemon, creature given and held over his head for obedience until he'd learned to stop fighting back ; the two had grown close instantly, learning to rely on each other to live and survive outside of combat. that would thus translate well into proper teamwork in combat, an irreplaceable bond that they both still feel to this day.

and rather than turning to detest it and all battling stood for, silver found it was a way of achieving power and a way of language, something that only select few people could properly understand. it's evolved a lot over the years with him and with his maturity levels / moral shifts. he may not be known as the fighter, and silver's more than fine with that ( that's red's field, not his ), but it's become a way of life for him all the same.

and silver had been once 'too weak' to be worthy enough in his mind, to be anything other than a delinquent who had no real guidance or path - and battling ( as well as art later on ) had been the thing to humanize him. he'd been once too little to stop the masked man by himself, he'd been once insufficient enough with his raging anger in the face of steven stone, and he'd let his team down for years. silver's lost many battles as a teenager, and turned them all into fuel for his self-hatred.

it was during the PWT days in his travels abroad after HGSS arc ( age: seventeen ) that he'd finally started to find that spark of elation and adrenaline for battling. amongst all the brambles of turmoil, nestled away in the most buried parts of himself, he began to peel away the layers of bad to bring out the more ... positive feelings, at the time. sometimes this did slightly err on the side of manic, as silver had no real and true run-in with the positives and didn't know how to regulate it all. ( he was an unguided teenager at best, a ticking time bomb at worst. )

he'd gone off a few deep ends to keep away any and all negative emotion regarding matches and the concept of winning and losing, even if it didn't always tend to work ( re: bottling up and exploding, and / or extremely poor self-care to the point of self-detriment and sabotage ). threw himself completely into every single match, constantly refined and changed up strategy, kept trying to build bridges with his team no matter how shaky they may have been.

it took time, and a lot of give on his end, but he got there with them eventually.

now, silver is constantly enrolling in ace academy tournaments, and most usually he's sweeping through his rounds with ease ( depending on who's paired against him, he really has no problem defeating the staff ). it's a form of thrill-seeking, maybe a bit of *"establishing dominance," and a way to continue learning about something he loves and has continued to try to perfect for as long as he can remember ( alongside trading, but trading is more passive while battling is more active ).

* he has gotten quite a bit of note during his years at the academy, and at first had been talk of the halls for being from johto. though there weren't a lot of kids that had heard about him or events that happened years ago in a completely different part of the world, there were the few that have, and he tended to avoid the shit out of them. it isn't really that much of a buzz now, and hasn't been since the novelty wore off a month or so into his attendance - instead, now, he's earned a reputation that he's built up for himself in front of staff / public and student witnesses over the years. still, that knowledge alone is enough for silver to feel the need to prove himself time and time again with every single battle. this is establishing dominance sure, but it's also to prove himself worthy both to himself and to whoever may be watching him. even moreso added on with the fact that he's there with a dual specialization in art and battling for his studies, purely on the notion of getting even better at battling. it's an art form, it's a language, it's a special interest, it's a way of life. ... he also gained major public traction during his PWT days, which is another source of ire for public recognition.

in all of his hard-earned and proven prowess, silver finds himself being sometimes suggested or volunteered to be some peer mentor to younger or perhaps more inexperienced trainers / students, sometimes much to his chagrin.

but, there are still a lot of strategies that silver has trained and perfected with his team that he does not dare show to the general public. he doesn't even let ursaluna be seen in public spaces, nor does he take him out during battles unless absolutely necessary, and atleast 90% sure opponent is not going to have a heartattack.

ursaluna ( re: bloodmoon, though not the one to be caught in kitakami ; separate post as a part of the team set incoming ) is another one of silver's aces in special attack and intimidation factor.

mega evolution.

there had been a point in the PWT rounds that silver had been paired against steven, the first battle against his mentor since the first one years ago ( re: at age eleven ) that had tore silver in two. at the time, he'd used a completely different team than the one silver had been able to briefly mentally prepared for / gone up against before, and though it was a surprise in the moment he had been able to parry and keep up. that is, until steven mega evolves his mawile, leaving silver completely speechless + caught off guard + somewhat shaken in the middle of the battlefield.

needless to say, that was another match that had been lost - but it wasn't a loss he had taken too hard, as steven didn't give him the chance to sink into those depths. they met after the match, and he handed silver a key stone and the direction to kalos to pursue further studies and proficiency. a way to put his bond and new way of living / thinking to the test.

silver ended up reaching out to blue not too long afterwards, and the two decided to travel together to kalos in order to properly learn how to use and master mega evolution. they both ended up running into hyu and rosa, and from there a kinship / rivalry / friendship had formed, some special thing to last longer than the time they spent sparring there.

silver had his key stone fastened into a small leather palm glove, something he could slide on over his always-worn black gloves rather quickly should the time call for it. ( it's not entirely dissimilar to jack sparrow's glove : rings that go around the middle and ring finger connect the strip of leather that goes down to his wrist, where he can adjust the tightness around via string. )

silver will always carry his glove addition on his person, no matter the situation / nonusage. it usually stays within an inner jacket pocket, secure yet readily available for him to slip out and adorn.

at first, he experimented quite a bit with the pose and words to utter - feeling quite silly in the face of it all, cringing at himself in the beginning. but it's gotten easier, it's gotten to feel natural as he's learned to focus on the bond between him and his gyarados rather than what he looks / feels like to no one that mattered in the process.

as he's achieved mastery over mega evolution, silver will never use it in a match with anyone that he doesn't deem a worthy enough challenge ( additional note: private match only ). it is a strict ace that he wants to keep secret on the idea that anyone could learn about it, and that 'anyone' could be giovanni. hell, it could be the rocket admins. it could be the entirety of team rocket, and so why give such a valuable trump card away?

especially when everything that silver had done up until that point ( re: constant battling + the absolute need to have mega evolution under such control and harmony ) had been fueled by his desire + vow to abolish all of team rocket. and by extension, bring his father towards the light - now better suited to silver, as an adult, to simply find giovanni and see if he can bring him towards some semblance of redemption. ( nothing was ever easy, and he'd come to accept that better than anyone. but even then ... ! )

see, even with ulterior motives, silver is very much so a man who deals his information in calculations and trigonometry that goes beyond just a simple whim. it had been a concept that was, in every sense, beaten into him from every angle since early childhood to keep his emotions held in and secret. ( both by an outside force, and eventually something he carried into himself. )

it's no wonder he's become a bit of a habitual liar + recluse in every regard as he's grown into adulthood, and this naturally extends into battling and his abilities / prowess.

the only people that know to date that silver can not only mega evolve, but has mastered it in a way unique to him and gyarados, are steven, blue, hyu, rosa, and grusha.

grusha is the only person in present day that had been allowed to learn of it during their all-out battle, somewhere nestled in a remote part of glaseado. it had been a certainty provided by them in the face of silver's request, and reassurance as well, that no one would be around to witness such a match.

gyarados and altaria had gone head to head in a complete show and release of their power on both ends, and had been the first time silver had utilized mega evolution outside of training that had brought him joy and had been fun. completely, and utterly exhilarating and fun.

and that's not to say that silver has not been enjoying himself with the year(s) of training, both under steven and when sparring against his little group, but there had always been a clear goal in mind in doing so : adapt, achieve, overcome the limits of what he and his pokemon had ever dreamed possible.

grusha had shown him a battle where there had been no stakes, and in that had strengthened something even further in silver and gyarados's sync.

truly, mega evolution is the area in which silver's ambition shines radiant and true.

terastallization.

as for terastallization, silver acquired his tera ball when he first enrolled in the academy, and has thus taken the time and mastered it since then. it was an easy feat, and while it may not be his most preferred ( or liked ) battle gimmick, he will use it should the time call for it. it's not often he finds himself pushed into a corner, and so it's even less often he makes that decision to terastallize.

though, that’s not to say that he doesn’t understand some of the appeal. silver’s honestly quite enraptured in the aesthetic of it all, how absolutely beautiful such an effect makes a pokemon — but there is also a give and take for how downright distracting it is. magnificent to stare at for the first few moments, but the longer a match goes on between terastallized pokemon, the more irritable and overwhelmed silver gets in the heat of battle.

it’s easier for him to lose his cool.

though he has yet to get to that level and actually lose composure in the middle of battle ( during his time in paldea + partaking in ace tournaments ), he’s been keenly aware of himself approaching that line in his mental capacity.

silver does not frequent medali enough, much less the treasure eatery, to do much with his pokemon's tera types - even though that exact concept is a major appeal of terstallization, and by extension some societal expectations in paldea. he usually tries to aim for STAB + tera type damage, rather than changing his pokemon's typing and thus moveset for a match entirely.

the only pokemon he actively changed tera type from expected to an abnormal type is gyarados ; on the notion that its chosen moveset for a battle usually entails two dark-type moves ( mega evolution secret ). a way to turn the tides without fully giving his ace away.

silver does actually very much so enjoy participating in tera raids. most notably doesn't tend to work well with others if there may be a few trainers who hop in, and that in of itself proves to be a point of a problem in many different settings and ways - though, he gets the job done regardless.

he won't lie and say that the crystalline structures and aesthetic is anything short of magnificent and beautiful, and actually has done quite a few color and abstract studies on such an effect.

it also reminds him of the night sky he loves so much.

tera types :

weavile : ice honchkrow : flying feraligatr : water gyarados : dark kingdra : dragon ursaluna : ground

#headcanon.#in my head all of these ideas coincided so they're all in one post #this will likely make it to the gdoc and be expanded on whenever i go back in and add #listen if feraligatr gets a mega evolution in ZA i WILL promise you all that me and silver will be losing our shit completely

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