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Read it twice.

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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

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I couldn’t reboot it for some reason

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"Average Vulcan experiences 3 emotions every day" factoid is actually just a statistical error. Average Vulcan experiences 0 emotions every day. S'chn T'gai Spock, who turned down the VSA to go to Starfleet Academy and experiences over 10000 per day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

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Amok Time being Chekov's first episode will never not be funny to me. It's his first day on the job and the first officer is in heat

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Let's see some more of that "competence."

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When I was in grade school I utterly adored sticky tack. You know, the kind that goes on posters in classrooms?

I generally loved all the silly putty adjacent textures and they were banned at home because every time I was given silly putty I’d promise to be so so careful and then I’d look down and somehow every time I’d have ground it into the carpet after looking away for one second.

Stealing was obviously wrong but I loved sticky tack so damn much that I’d sneak my horrible little raccoon fingers behind the posters to nip off little chunks here and there. I collected these into a much bigger chunk that I delightedly fidgeted with during story time, reveling in the pull and stretch of the forbidden substance. All my memories of story time involve my enjoyment of touching sticky tack.

I kept the same monstrosity glob of dirty sticky tack even when I moved from first to second grade, a heroic feat for my little squirrel brain.

Alas it met its end on the migration to third grade when the joyless husk of a teacher kept no posters, told no stories, and confiscated it promptly when she saw my hands moving over its lint covered majesty.

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openin’ the door to the microwave one second early because you don’t need all the hootin’ and hollerin’

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Mister Rogers

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Technically true.

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if you can't fix him, put him in lingerie.

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Jim why are you like this