#and only outright hated four

[todayisafridaynight]

i'll probably be skipping stream today & tomorrow on account of my personal challenge to finish JE before you (<- absolutely not going to happen)

but while i'm here SHUT UP your headcanon is not icky :) though i can't really talk since i don't bring my own up very often either, and i honestly haven't even put that much thought into the logistics around it. anyway trans masato 🤝 trans wagi as personal coping mechanisms

DAWG you gotta finish it... idk how long youve had it but prob longer than me cmon now gamer i know you can do it ✊

trans masato is just funny because Like Everything I Do it just started as me joking about scenes from the game and then the ending happened and i was like Oh Lol It's Not A Joke Anymore I Think

I DONT USUALLY SUBSCRIBE TO TRANS HCS EITHER THAT WHY IT ICKY TO MEAJLWKJL but thank you. i promise to only mention it once every five months

[acesofspade]

lost the autism battle (tore the crotch/thigh area in the only pair of pants i dont hate, and cannot find replacements anywhere bc they were technically hand-me-downs and i have no idea what exactly to search to find them)

[pellucid-constellations]

Are You Bored Yet?

Pairing: College!Bucky x Tutor!Reader

Summary: God, you hated Bucky. Bucky probably hated you, too. Maybe. It was hard to tell when he was drunk and calling you pretty at a party you shouldn't have gone to.

Word count: 8k

Warnings: Alcohol, annoyance to lovers, a bit of angst, a scary man in a parking lot, frat!bucky c:

a/n:​​​ I am so excited to finally post something!! It only took me four months 😅 If you enjoy it please please let me know ❤️❤️

Masterlist

~~

12:59 pm.

The birchwood table nestled in the back of the library was long but otherwise empty, the only thing occupying it being your laptop and quite a few books. He wasn’t late. Yet. You weren’t going to hold onto that hope, however.

Tutoring Bucky Barnes was not what you had in mind when you volunteered for the peer assistance program at your university. It was true you were only using the club to boost your resume, but you had assumed the only people reaching out for help would be those that actually wanted it. Unfortunately, that was not the case. 

Sure, Bucky wanted help. Just not with anything that actually warranted the word. He wanted help sweet talking the cops so they wouldn't shut down his parties. He wanted help recruiting girls to show up to his parties. And—the one thing you could actually do—he wanted help passing his classes with the minimum GPA required to not get kicked out of his frat. So he could continue to throw parties. 

Everything in his life revolved around his fraternity, which made you very important to him. When he wanted you to be. 

With your apparently astounding knowledge of biology (you took notes during lectures), you became the star in Bucky’s life every Monday and Wednesday from 1:00 pm (give or take ten minutes) to 2:00 pm. He was also very attentive during the thirty minute phone calls he initiated prior to tests, and always looked happy to see you when he passed you devouring a bagel at the crack of dawn in the dining hall. 

Every situation in which you had come in contact with Bucky was isolated and purposeful (minus the bagel). You didn’t hang out or invite each other places, and you were almost positive that if you were to see him in his natural habitat, you would want to tutor him even less than you did now, and that was saying something. So you were important to Bucky during the times you were supposed to be important, and he was important to you in the sense that he was a job. 

But as your laptop blinked the numbers 1:22 pm back at your unimpressed expression, Bucky became much less important today. You took in a long, tortured breath before sending your gaze up to the ceiling, giving it another three minutes before you truly gave up on him for the day. 

One minute. 

Two minutes. 

The library really needed new ceiling tiles. 

1:25 pm and you snapped your laptop shut. Your fingers itched to send yet another complaint about this whole ordeal Natasha’s way, but you stopped yourself. She had already heard plenty about Barnes at this point, plus she always gave you a weird look every time you came stomping into the apartment, grumbling about something else he had done. 

You hated her weird looks, all raised eyebrows and stiff lips.

With your backpack heaved onto the table and your things slowly funneling in, you figured a nap was the best reward for sitting in the library for an unnecessary twenty-five minutes. Your last prickle of irritation was stifled at the prospect of a warm bed as you stood, only to find that irritation had returned to you tenfold. In the form of Bucky Barnes. 

“You going somewhere?” he seemed to taunt, his bag slung casually over one shoulder. 

Your jaw ticked. “Home.” 

His mouth turned up at one side, an expression you had learned meant he found you amusing. He never seemed to outright laugh at your annoyance, but apparently, it was hard to tamp down all of the joy he got out of it. Bucky took two long strides to meet the table you were attempting to abandon. 

“But I still got about—” he checked his watch “—thirty-three minutes? And an arsenal of questions about amino acids. Help a guy out.” 

“And I still got—” you checked the nonexistent watch on your wrist “—no patience for this today. You’re over twenty minutes late, Barnes. Use that watch to set an alarm on Wednesday and I’ll tell you everything you’ll inevitably forget about amino acids then.” 

He groaned, rounding the table to set firm hands on your shoulders as he hovered behind you. “Sit. I’ll buy you a coffee and I promise I won’t be late on Wednesday, okay? I was dealing with something before this and lost track of time.” 

“Were you dealing with another sorority girl in your bed? Who was it last week? Amber? No, Michelle?” 

“It’s a Monday, y/n. Cut me some slack.” 

“You came to me on a Wednesday with a hangover,” you deadpanned.

Bucky grimaced, the expression visible to you as he managed to guide you back into your chair. “Oat milk, right? A double?” 

You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest as he tossed his bag by your feet and jogged over to the coffee cart just outside the library. He fumbled with his wallet when he went to pay, and you watched him point to the carton of oat milk the barista had yet to reach for. His greek letters were printed on the gray hoodie he had haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, and you held the reprimand on your tongue when you saw the matching sweatpants he donned. 

The last time he had shown up in his pajamas—late—you’d had some choice words for him. Bucky turned around with your coffee then, poking the straw through the lid and sending you a sheepish smile through the window. 

He was lucky you accepted bribes. 

~~

“Please,” the boy across from you continued to beg, a pen held loosely between pliant fingers. “Just ask her, that’s all I want. You can even come too.” 

“Oh, wow, the great frat president letting me come to his stupid toga party? How could I ever thank you enough?” 

It was Wednesday now, and Bucky was surprisingly on time to the tutoring session. You’d gotten through about half of the last bio lecture before he started asking you ridiculous questions that had nothing to do with the content. Today, he was dead set on getting your lab partner from chemistry to go to his party this weekend. 

“Okay, yeah, you could come to whatever party you want, you know? I put you on the list—but this one will be even better if you’d just do this one thing for me.” 

You finally tore your eyes from your laptop, glancing lazily at him. “And what would make this one so—wait, what list?” 

He waved you off. “The one at the door. Did it like… the second week we started this? Anyways, Wanda?” 

You let this new information settle and tried to ignore whatever implications came with being on some frat list thanks to Bucky. He had never explicitly invited you to any of his parties over the past few months and you had never asked to come. Apparently, you could have shown up whenever you wanted to and had a grand old time. 

Not that that sounded the least bit grand. 

Bucky was looking at you still, all pleading features and a soft, infuriating smile on his lips. When he wasn’t talking to random girls in the library or taking annoying phone calls in the middle of your sessions, he was sort of endearing. In a terrible, awful sense. 

You groaned, throwing yourself back against your chair in begrudging defeat. “I don’t even talk to her outside of chem. Don’t you think it’d be a little weird to invite her to a party that I’m not even going to?” 

“So come,” he answered simply, as if that was in the realm of possibilities. 

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “Sure, I’ll come to your party, Barnes.” 

“Great,” he grinned. “Vision’s gonna be so hyped.” 

You watched as he pulled his phone from his pocket and kept your lie to yourself. He wouldn’t notice that you didn’t show up on Friday, and likely wouldn’t even bring it up the following Monday. He always had such vibrant, headache-inducing stories that you were sure your absence would be nothing more than a fleeting footnote. 

“You have a toga, right?” he mumbled, face still screwed up in concentration as he continued his text. 

“Isn’t it just a sheet all twisted up?” you asked, shutting your computer. Tutoring was obviously over. 

Bucky pocketed his phone again, brows raised in amusement. “Depends on your motives for the night.” 

“And my motives wouldn’t be to… wear a toga?” 

He chuckled and huffed out your name, resting an arm along the back of the chair to his right—your chair. “Other motives. Like if you’re trying to get someone’s attention.” 

You blinked at the warmth along your back. “Oh, of course. Then I would twist up a pillowcase instead, right?”

“Something like that.” 

He smelled like coconut. Like a day at the beach but afterwards, when the sunscreen still lingered in the air but fresh clothes covered skin that had been warmed by the sun. You could usually ignore whatever expensive combination he had on his skin, but when he got close like this it was almost impossible. 

Part of you always wanted to chuck his arm away when he leaned over you, but another part of you liked that he kept it there. It was a strange part of you, the same one that relished the looks you got from sorority girls in the library and harbored a sense of pride each time he made a blatant attempt to touch you. 

You had spent fleeting moments analyzing these emotions and chalked them up to some internalized desire for validation. Nothing else. Bucky was a hot guy and everyone knew that, so having his attention—in any capacity—felt nice. Sometimes. Meaning right now it was nice that he was looking at you with his arm practically glued to your back, but next week when he showed up late with a hangover and tried to steal the jacket off your body it would be not so nice. 

The duality of man. 

It helped your partial insanity that Bucky would never actually be interested in you. You weren’t in a sorority or interested to his parent’s money, and, worst of all, you didn’t know how to maneuver a sheet into a toga. When he put his arm around you or moved your hair from your eyes as you leaned over a book, it was probably out of habit. It felt nice, but you knew reality. This was a passing phase, and by the summer you wouldn’t even speak to him anymore.

“I’ll text you more info about everything,” Bucky called, pulling you from your thoughts. “You can come early and I’ll help you with that pillowcase.” 

You froze, the book you were shoving into your bag pausing in your hands. “Uh, maybe.” 

“No, seriously, it’d be better if you came early. I was kidding about the pillowcase but if you come on time it’ll be too crazy for me to show you around.” 

“You don’t have to show me around, Bucky. I’ve been to a house party before.” 

“Y/n, are you not coming to this thing?” Bucky accused, swiping the book from your hands and softly tossing it on the table. It still made a loud thud that had a few bitter looks thrown your way. 

“Dude!” you whispered, meeting each mean gaze with your apologetic one. “Why does it matter if I come? You just wanted Wanda anyway.” 

He knocked your hand away when you went to reach for the book again, encircling your wrist with his fingers. “You just lied to me. Straight to my face. You said you’d come and now you gotta.” 

You gave his fingers an experimental tug, but he was unrelenting in his soft grip. You glared at him through your lashes, meeting his uncharacteristically stern gaze that contrasted the humor on his lips. 

“You ever hear of sarcasm?” you whispered with a half-hearted bite. 

“Unfortunately, that’s about all I hear outta you,” he smirked back. 

You rolled your eyes, finally yanking hard enough to free yourself from him. “Then you should have known I wasn’t going to come. No matter what ‘list’ you put me on.” 

“What else could you possibly have going on on a Friday night?” 

Ouch. You felt your brows furrow even though you didn’t will them to, and even worse, you felt a rash defensiveness lodge itself in your throat. You hated the heat that now prickled along the skin of your neck, and you hated even more how it extinguished all of the good warmth you had felt from him earlier. 

This was humiliation, surely—the kind that only came from feeling small. 

“You don’t have to be a dick,” you seethed, snapping up the remainder of your belongings. “Just because I don’t want to go to your stupid frat doesn't mean I have nothing to do. I don’t spend all of my time hoping to get invited to ridiculous parties.” 

Bucky shifted up in his seat, eyes blown just a fraction wider. “Whoa, I didn’t mean—hey, stop a sec, I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“Whatever, Bucky,” you droned, as a new temperature seeped into the skin of your palms and made them clammy. Any semblance of delusion you’d fallen into earlier was long gone now, but you knew to expect that. He wasn’t interested in you and you weren’t interested in him. But embarrassment wasn’t a good feeling, regardless of a multitude of reality checks. 

Bucky got up when you did, his clothes looking creased and lived in. “We still have time in our session,” he defended, arm jutting out to the table. “C’mon, I didn’t mean you don’t have friends.” 

Your glare sharpened. “Great, another insinuation.” 

Bucky sputtered out incoherent words as you continued your trek outside, resorting to grabbing your wrist again, this time with more urgency. You felt the heat in you simmer down to a dull throb as he made contact, mostly out of respect for your future self. If you made this a huge deal it would only embarrass you more. 

“Look, it doesn’t even matter, okay?” you huffed, but he just tugged you forward. It was then that you realized you were in the doorway of the library, effectively blocking it off from anyone trying to leave. Bucky pulled you close enough to his chest that you weren’t in the way anymore. His cologne was back with a vengeance, your nose just inches from his collar.  

You took a steadying breath, blinking away the remnants of shame. “It doesn’t matter, I overreacted.” 

He clicked his tongue. “I’m still apologizing. I didn’t mean any of that stuff you were talking about.” 

Of course he did. You were sure he thought it all the time. He just didn’t mean to say it out loud. 

“It’s fine,” you rushed. “I have to go, anyway. Office hours.” 

“Okay,” he nodded, soft and low, like he just remembered he was in a library. “You’ll still come this weekend, right? Even if Wanda can’t?” 

“You have some kind of girl quota you need to meet?” you pressed.

Bucky smiled, still so close to you that you could feel the small breath that accompanied the expression. “And she’s back.” 

You left without promising anything, and Bucky left feeling like you had. 

~~

Sometime between Wednesday and Friday, your detestment for frat parties had snowballed into determination. You were going to go and you were going to look like you were having so much fun it was ridiculous. Then, on Monday, when Bucky would usually poke and prod about what you’d gotten up to over the past few days, you were going to pretend that it was nothing for you. That you did that every weekend. 

Of course, you didn’t. Your weekends typically consisted of calm nights with friends or dinners near campus. You’d been to a party before, sure, but you didn’t exactly frequent those kinds of scenes. 

Bucky had continued to make it clear that you were invited. He had texted you a few times, prompting you to come and thanking you for getting Wanda to agree. The messages looked strange under the plethora of biology related questions, but that just spurred you further into action. You weren’t just a tutor with no social life, and Bucky was going to see that tonight. You couldn’t remember doing something out of pure spite before, but you figured having fun to prove a point wasn’t the worst thing. 

Wanda pulled you out of your thoughts as the Uber rounded the last dark corner and revealed an overcrowded house with too many lights on. She rambled on about some guy she couldn’t wait to see and confirmed that she would likely be spending the night. You expected as much; it hadn’t taken much convincing to get her to come. If this night resulted in anything good it was apparently the blossoming relationship between your new friend and a man you’d never met. 

Wanda continued to chat as she yanked you out of the car and past the yard littered with sparse grass. The music was loud already—the type of loud that you needed to be at least a little drunk to enjoy. And that was the plan. 

“Okay, if I start dancing on a table you pull me down. And if you start dancing on a table I support you, right?” Wanda giggled, her voice now raised as you walked past the threshold of the house. 

“Exactly,” you yelled back. A guy nodded to you as he leaned against the front door, his eyes glancing up from his phone and then returning. It seemed Bucky’s ‘list’ was a page on some guy’s notes app. How luxurious. “Let’s drink.” 

The next hour was a blur. You tried your hardest to get as drunk as possible and Wanda tried her hardest to find the British man she was enamored with. You hadn’t seen Bucky, but you figured he wasn’t looking for you too hard since you hadn’t responded to any of his texts. Not out of anger, but because you didn’t know what to say. Somehow, with alcohol warming your blood and music vibrating your skin, none of that mattered anymore. 

You: Your house is soooo dirty

Your phone jostled in your grip, people bumping into you from every side. When he didn’t answer in the thirty seconds you spent staring at the screen, you locked it and continued on with your mission. 

After a few too many shots of hard liquor, you switched to beer. Gross, but decidedly less likely to make you pass out on the staircase of this house. Because you weren’t lying in your text—it was slightly disgusting. You figured you should clarify that with Bucky. You reached for your phone once again, knocking your head against the wall in the process and giggling to yourself. You had no idea where Wanda went. 

The device was snatched from your hands just as quickly as the screen had lit up your face. 

“You ever answer this thing?” an accusing voice called out. “Or do you just insult people and put it on do not disturb?” 

The look on Bucky’s face would have made you roll your eyes in any other circumstance. Right now, however, it had a startled laugh bursting past your lips. You clutched at your stomach as the laugh grew and you found yourself tipping forward until your forehead met his chest. You felt delirious, almost silly. A hand came around to rest on the back of your neck.

“Alright, alright.” Bucky’s words rumbled against your face. “I get it, this is hilarious.” 

“Your… your face,” you breathed out, catching your breath enough to part from him. “It was all—” you mimicked the straight line of his eyebrows, voice raising in a mocking tone. “—You don’t ever answer your phone. You’re so boring, y/n, answer your phone.” 

“I didn’t call you boring. Hey—hey,” Bucky stressed, reaching for you as you leaned too far to the side, a smile still lingering on your face. “Jesus, y/n, how much did you have to drink?” 

You went to mock him again, but his fingers on your jaw stopped you. He tilted your head up and to the left, and although he was much more composed than you were, you could still smell the alcohol on his breath. You scrunched up your nose as he continued his inspection. 

“Why’re you being so uptight?” you slurred, trying and failing to push away from him. “I thought you were all like, ‘I’m Bucky and I party and get drunk and have sex with girls.’”

Bucky pulled you forward as you laughed at your impression of him, his shaking head making you blink away a bout of dizziness. You toppled over a set of stairs as he threaded his fingers through yours, and then you stumbled through a doorway and onto carpeted floors. Being pressed into an uncomfortable chair was the most jarring action, the world still spinning as you sat. 

“You’re even more mean when you're drunk,” you heard Bucky mumble. You couldn’t quite catch him as he moved around whatever room you were in. “And I don’t talk like that.” 

You let out a careless sigh and leaned back. “You soooo talk like that.” 

Something cold pressed to your hand, followed by another touch to the back of your neck. You gazed down at the water bottle being guided up to your lips and couldn’t find it in you to fight against it, despite the small spark of defiance on the tip of your tongue. After about four large swallows, Bucky was satisfied. 

He asked again how much you’d had to drink. 

You answered that you didn’t know—that it didn’t matter because he wasn’t your dad and you were having fun like you always did. He bit the inside of his cheek and didn’t say anything for the next few moments. 

And then, “Thought you weren’t gonna come tonight.” 

You hummed, rolling your head against the chair to look up at his standing form. “Of course I was going to come. I love parties. Love drinking alcohol.” 

His expression twisted into something you couldn’t recognize. “God, you’re so drunk.” 

“M’not even that drunk!” 

“You’re willingly in my room right now. You’re plastered.” 

“Maybe I want to be in your room.” 

“We both know that’s not true.” 

You chuckled breathily, closing your eyes so you wouldn’t have to see the pretty flush of Bucky’s face. “You think you know everything, don’t you? Don’t know much about me though. Or biology.” 

Bucky kneeled down to the height of the chair. “And what do I not know about you?” 

“So much.” 

“How much?” 

You bit into your lip and cracked an eye open, catching the amusement that had slipped past the strange mask of his emotions. With blissful ignorance, you heaved yourself forward on the chair, your nose a few inches from Bucky’s. His eyes didn’t waver from yours as you swayed. 

“You don’t know that I’m the most interesting person on Earth,” you boasted, fingers gripping the upholstery of your seat. 

“That right?” Bucky probed, his voice a melodic hum. 

“Yup, I’m always really busy and even though you think I’m some boring biology tutor I’m actually super cool and, like, go to raves and stuff.” 

His brow twitched but his mouth stayed soft. “I’ve never said you were boring. And I don’t think you’ve ever been to a rave.” 

You groaned loudly and flopped against the backrest of the chair. “See! I’m telling you I do all this cool stuff and I’m so drunk my fingers are buzzing and you still don’t believe me.” 

You crossed your arms with a huff, a small pout forming on your lips. In any other context, this behavior would probably embarrass you to no end. In the dim light of Bucky’s room where you felt the feeling leave your fingers and the care leave your mind, you were just disgruntled, not embarrassed. If you remembered this tomorrow the latter would surely catch up to you.

Bucky stared at you from his spot on the ground, his gaze a bit foggy and unfocused. He was clearly intoxicated, as you deduced earlier, and it made him look more wild. Mused hair and pink cheeks, he looked like he’d been having plenty of fun before he found you. It was distracting. He was distracting you from proving that you were having a blast.

“What?” you snapped, the tone a testament to the drunken fit you were throwing. 

“You’re so fucking pretty.” 

He must be really, really drunk. Despite your clouded mind, you knew that, but the words affected you just the same. Your lips parted as a new lightness both lit up and compressed your chest, and Bucky watched the movement. 

“Yeah,” you scoffed, but it was hardly a scoff. “Sure, Bucky. How much did you have to drink—” 

“I’m not lying. I’ve thought about you in my room for weeks and now you’re here and you’re so pretty. Even when you’re yelling at me.” 

“You’ve… thought about me in your room?” 

Bucky shuffled forward and you subconsciously parted your legs to allow the space for him. “I think about you everywhere.” 

This was crazy. It was certifiably insane. A voice in the back of your head—Natasha’s voice, it sounded like—was screaming at you to stop and think about the situation at hand. He was drunk, you were even more drunk, and he was far too close to you. He had ushered you in here with good intentions and had sobered you up a fraction, but things had taken a turn and this was a sensitive situation. The kind of sensitive that altered your reality and his and probably a bunch of other people’s you’d never met. 

Or it could be nothing and you were over exaggerating. 

But then Bucky’s hand was warming your thigh. You’d felt the press of it on your back and your shoulder and your head before, but it had never been on your thigh. It felt heavy there, hot. His other hand moved to touch your face and he propped himself up on one knee. His thumb brushed your cheek. Words tumbled from your mouth before you registered that you were speaking. 

“Are you going to kiss me?” 

Why would you ask that? Who asks Bucky Barnes if he’s going to kiss them? 

“Would you let me?” he responds. 

“Yes.” 

He didn’t waste any time, his mouth hot against yours. He tasted like mint and vodka and his lips moved so slowly it ached. You had expected a fervor behind his lips, but instead you got a build up, an orchestra reaching its crescendo. He was kissing you like you were important, like this wasn’t some random hookup in his bedroom at 1 o’clock in the morning, and you had to catch your breath when he parted from you. 

But he moved back in so quickly after your brief respite, and you were eager to give him more. This was crazy, insane. This was the best kiss you’d ever have and also the worst. This was months of staring at his stupid lips when he tried explaining concepts back to you, but this was also weeks of feeling small in his presence. Bucky slid his hand back to press against your hair and you didn’t feel small anymore. 

A loud thud from the hallway interrupted the silence you’d created, and Bucky pulled back, keeping his hands on you as he craned his neck around to stare at the door. He waited a beat, and then two, and then he turned back to you. The moment was gone, but he was still touching you. You weren’t sure what you wanted—if you wanted him to kiss you again or run out the door—but when he slid his hands from your body and rubbed them down his jeans, it became clear that was not what you wanted. 

A knot formed in your stomach when he met your gaze again, and you tried blinking the feeling away. It didn’t work. 

“Um,” Bucky began, his voice sounding more clear, his tone not holding the weight it had.

Your plan had backfired. Severely. This was a mess and you needed to save yourself before you ended this night even more humiliated.

You were still drunk. Pretend you were still plastered. 

You giggled airily, the sound burning your throat. “That was loud.” 

Bucky blinked at you in what you assumed was disbelief. “Probably just someone trying to find the bathroom,” he clarified.

You shrugged, nudging him back with your knee as you stood from the chair. “I’m bored now.” You took fast steps to the door, your words foreign to you. “Thanks for the water,” you all but gritted out. 

You expected him to get up. Not to run after you or proclaim his love or even say anything. But you expected him to get up. 

He didn’t, and you couldn’t understand how the knot in your stomach had moved to your throat. Or how it made tears spring to your eyes when your feet hit the sidewalk outside. Your Uber came and you couldn’t understand how you felt hot and cold at the same time. How it was freezing outside but you were sweating. 

You couldn’t understand why you were crying over a boy that so often infuriated you, or why he kissed you in his bedroom. The reasonable side of you sent gentle reminders that he was in a frat and kissing people is just what he did. All the time. But the unreasonable side of you won out tonight, and it was telling you that this felt different.

That you should be different, somehow.

~~

Bucky: You’re here???

Bucky: Where are you?

Bucky: Y/n answer your damn phone

Bucky: This place is fucking packed tonight I thought you weren’t coming 

You stared at the text messages you hadn’t read last night, the bright light of your phone burning into your retinas. You had a brutal hangover, and the memory of the disaster in Bucky’s room felt like an even bigger one. 

You’d gone through a myriad of emotions the night before, tossing around excuses and speeches in your head until you were so exhausted you let the alcohol in your system lull you to sleep. With all of that delirious thinking, you’d landed on blacking out. You were going to tell Bucky you blacked out last night and couldn’t remember a thing. He obviously wouldn’t care and would probably appreciate it. 

Saturday was slow-moving. Reruns of television shows and bags of popcorn and overthinking. Natasha was at her parent’s house in the city, so you had no one to bounce your racing thoughts off of. You certainly weren’t going to text her about it. 

When the evening finally rolled around and your attempts at distracting yourself with mind-numbing movies failed, you checked your email. You always tried not to on the weekends, but doing anything else sounded much less appealing. 

Unfortunately, you didn’t get past the first one. 

From: University Peer Assistance Program 

Dear Y/n Y/l/n, 

This is an automated message from the campus peer assistance program. We thank you for your continued devotion to the betterment of students at this school. At this time, your tutoring placement with James Barnes has ended. We will search for a new placement to fill your current hours. 

Thank you, 

University Peer Assistance 

You blinked at the email, then blinked again. The breath left your chest and the muscles on your face twitched, but you were otherwise frozen.

This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To be free from the haughty frat boy that didn’t even listen to you when you tried to help him raise his grades. You wanted someone nice, someone that had the same goals as you and appreciated the color-coded notes you took for them. Bucky only tried to get a rise out of you. He sat too close and made fun of you and put you on lists you didn’t ask to be on. 

But he had kissed you. He had kissed you and then tutor-dumped you. 

You knew you weren’t his type, but were you really that bad? Was the kiss so terrible? 

Every inferiority complex you had developed exploded. You over-analyzed things that had already happened, things you had said. Not just at the party, but in the library, the coffee shops, the lecture halls. 

Was he really willing to risk his position in the frat just to avoid you? 

The strangle tickle of tears itched to be released from your eyes again, but you pressed it down. No, this wasn’t on you. He had kissed you. He had dragged you into his room and stumbled on pretty words. If he didn’t want you to tutor him anymore because of his stupid mistake, fine. 

His mistake. 

That word felt wrong. 

You tossed your phone on the couch with vigor. The clock above the television read out 10 pm, but that meant little to you as you slid on your shoes at the front door. You were wearing sweatpants and a jacket that was far too big on you, sadness and frustration and raw confusion propelling you down your apartment stairs. 

Ice cream would fix this. 

The only place open at this time was the gas station at the edge of campus. It wasn’t university affiliated and was usually overrun with belligerent greek life trying to buy alcohol, but the decision-making part of your brain was currently shut off. 

Ice cream, anger, probably watching tiktoks until your eyes were too heavy to keep open—those were the only things rattling in your head. 

You yanked open the gas station door after your short walk, the glass smudged and fogged from the cold night. The fluorescent lights aggravated the headache you’d been sporting all day and the floor made sticking noises with each step you took. To add insult to injury, there were only three cartons of ice cream left, and they weren’t even the good flavors. Grabbing the least offensive one, you made your way to the small line of people by the register. 

“Nice outfit.” 

Too enthralled by the disappointing ingredient list on the side of your ice cream, you had missed the tall man now looming at your shoulder. You whipped your head around with a start, taking a step back, smelling menthol and asphalt and nothing good. 

“Thanks,” you quietly replied. 

He waited until you turned back around to continue. “You go to school over here?” 

You kept your gaze forward. “Um, yeah.” 

“Nice. I graduated a few years back. Marketing.” 

“Cool,” you replied. What had compelled you to leave your phone on the couch? This night sucked. 

You found reprieve in the line moving, the employee calling you over to check out. As soon as you paid—a few dollar bills funneled out of your pocket with shaky hands—you booked it. Your ice cream burned in your palm but you didn’t care, feet carrying you out the door and into the dimly lit parking lot. You fisted your keys in your fingers; pointless, you knew, but a small comfort. 

The man’s voice returned with the chime of the bell over the gas station door. “Wait! Wait, I’m Beck. I own a business nearby.” 

You should have kept walking, but one of your fatal flaws was, apparently, people pleasing. You turned to him. He smiled at you but it made your stomach twist. 

“Oh, nice,” you responded, rocking back on your heels. 

“We should connect. Maybe go for coffee or something?” He took a step forward. You fought the urge to take one back. His beard was unkempt and he held a six pack in his white-knuckled grip. 

“Um, I don’t know. I’m pretty busy with finals coming up. Plus, I’m not really in the business field.” 

“Not for business then,” he smiled again, teeth dull in the streetlight. 

Just agree. If you agreed you could block him soon after and everything would be fine. 

You took too long to answer. He took the final step forward to arrive in your space and wrapped his fingers around your bicep. “C’mon, I’m not asking you to marry me or anything.” 

Frozen by fear, you let out a weak laugh. The pint in your hand was sticking to your skin now in a way that would be painful when you tried to let go of it later. Your breath rattled in your chest when you laughed again. 

“Sure, okay.” But he didn’t let go of your arm, instead sliding it down to the bone of your wrist. 

“What about now?” he posed. “You don’t look too busy. I can make you something at my place.” 

He was at least ten years older than you. You attempted to pull yourself from his grasp to no avail. Maybe reasoning would work. 

“My roommate's waiting for me,” you lied. “Could you let go? I sprained my wrist at the gym last week,” you lied again. 

He refused with a shake of his head. You took a panicked glance inside the gas station to your right. No one was looking. 

“Please let go of me.” 

The call of your name from the other side of the parking lot initially sent more unbearable fear down your spine. But then the owner of that voice registered in your brain, and although it had been the cause of your recent internal strife, you couldn't be more grateful to hear it. 

He said your name again, closer now and questioning. Bucky jogged up to the pair of you, saw your wrist and the man holding it hostage, and looked back up at you with confused, wild eyes. 

“You know this guy?” he asked, jutting his thumb out at Beck.

“No,” you whispered. The word was short but the syllable still trembled. 

Bucky didn’t look confused anymore. He looked pissed. “Wanna take your fucking hands off her?”

Beck was tall, but Bucky was taller. And angry. Beck released your wrist and raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Whoa, man, no need for the theatrics. I’m guessing you’re here to stock up for a party? I used to be in Sigma Nu.” 

When Bucky’s silent glare failed to dampen, Beck continued with, “We were just planning a night at my place, right?” 

His nod in your direction made your breath catch. Bucky took his piercing gaze off of Beck and softened it as it fell on you. You wanted to respond, but words were gone. They were impossible. Your ice cream was melting. 

“Yeah, I think we’re done here,” Bucky scoffed, placing his arm around your shoulder. He guided you past the wall of a man, making sure to drive his shoulder into his chest as he went. Beck went to say more, to protest or whine, but Bucky shot him such a scathing look it almost made you wither. 

The smell of coconut and spices and a hint of whisky met your nose, and it was familiar. It was safe. You fumbled with the keys in your hands as your feet guided you wherever Bucky was going, and then you fumbled even more, soft jingling disrupting the softness of footfall. God, why wouldn’t you stop shaking? 

A hand fell atop yours, crunching the keys to a halt. You stared down at them, unsteady breath hitting the tanned fingers that served as your current anchor. 

“Look at me, y/n.” 

You couldn’t. You couldn’t do anything. 

“Sweetheart, eyes up. All you gotta do.” Bucky’s voice was as soft as it was last night. That was the only reason you were able to follow his request. “There she is,” he hummed. 

He removed his arm from your shoulders and shifted in front of you, placing his hand on your cheek. You ignored that it felt the same as it had last night. You ignored that you wanted it to feel the same for him, too. 

“You okay?” he asked, tilting his neck down to better see your face. His thumb brushed under your eye. “He hurt you?” 

You shook your head, whispering no, whispering that you were fine. 

Bucky nodded to himself, eyes tracking down to your toes and then back up again. He must have mistaken your shaking for coldness because the next thing he did was guide you into the car behind him. You didn’t know it was his.

He blasted the heat the second he got in. He had shuffled you into your seat with his hands before that, smoothed your hair down and closed the door after you were settled and not shaking as hard. The heat dried out your eyes. It distracted you enough to let words form. 

“Thank you,” you said. “He wouldn’t leave me alone. I didn’t bring my phone with me. I should’ve.” 

“Of course.” 

There was a beat of silence. The relief you had felt earlier had been muddled down to an awkward pit in your stomach, and you weren’t sure if Bucky felt it too or if he was still riding a testosterone-fueled adrenaline high. 

You wanted to go home now; this was uncomfortable and you had felt Bucky’s lips on yours less than twenty-four hours ago with no closure. He obviously didn’t want to be around you. This was probably a responsibility thing for him. 

“I can… I can walk home now. The guy left. I’m just a quarter mile away and you probably have to stock up or whatever.” 

He looked at you with a pinched expression. “I’m not letting you walk home after that. You kiddin’ me?” 

“I’ll be fine, really. I walk over here all the time.” 

“You get harassed all the time too?” 

“No…” 

“Exactly. So you’re not walking home.” 

“Bucky—” 

“Look I’m not gonna kiss you again, alright? So you don’t have to turn down a ride because of that.” 

Your ice cream was soup at this point. You let it roll into your lap as you clamped your mouth shut just to open it again. Bucky ran a rough hand through his hair before dropping it on the steering wheel, clutching at it with no place to go. 

“I’m not following,” you finally relented. 

A loud sigh released from his nose. “You don’t have to worry about me kissing you again. I just want to make sure you get home safe and then I’ll leave you alone.” 

“Worry about—you’re the one trying to avoid me,” you snapped, frozen fingers pointing to your chest. “You tutor-dumped me.”

“Tutor-dumped? How do you…” he trailed off. 

“I get an email when you make a change request, Bucky.” 

He stared at you for a moment, lips parted and unmoving. He clenched his jaw a moment later, a red tint adorning his cheeks. 

“Well, you—you—look, I know you don’t like me, y/n. You’ve made that clear,” he stuttered, words getting louder as he moved his hands around with each one. “But I like you. I like when you get mad at me and when you yell at me for not listening and when you get all embarrassed when I play with your hair. And I’ve been trying to get you to come to one of my parties since we started this whole thing, but every time I talk about them you seem to like me even less. 

“If I had known insulting you would get your attention, I woulda done that week one,” he exasperated. You sat up in your seat but he continued. “I didn’t mean any of that shit you thought I did. You’re not boring. And I didn’t mean to kiss you, but you looked—well, I already told you.” 

“So you don’t want me to be your tutor anymore because you like me?” You spoke slowly, each word careful. 

“No,” he sighed, frustrated. “I can’t be around you because I kissed you and you didn’t care. Because I’ll want to kiss you all the time and you didn’t even wanna kiss me once. I know we were drunk, I get that, but I’ve wanted that for a long time and I need to move on. It’s nothing against your… tutoring skills. If that’s what you’re worried about” 

“But you talk about hooking up with other girls all the time, Bucky. To me.” 

“You ever hear of lying?”

“Why would you—” 

“You really gonna make me live out all of my failures with you?” 

You’d read so many things wrong. Taken so many things the wrong way. You figured the email earlier was the final nail in the coffin, but this was something else entirely. This was Bucky, sitting next to you in his car looking distressed and frazzled with his hair six different directions, telling you that he’s been trying to get your attention since he met you. That you weren’t small or insignificant or boring. 

It was probably a terrible idea to follow through with your next thought. You’d probably get hurt in the long run. But you did it anyway. 

“I wanted you to kiss me.” Bucky’s head whipped towards you. You bit the inside of your cheek and said, “I want you to kiss me all the time.” 

He whispered your name. It sounded like the air had left every corner of his body. But he didn’t move, and you needed to rectify that. 

“You’re infuriating,” you began. Bucky cringed, but you needed to explain as he had. “You’re like the antithesis of everything I want out of college. You don’t care about classes. You’re always late. You talk too loud in the library.” 

You took a deep breath, fiddling with the loose thread of your pants. You couldn’t make eye contact with anything but the ground. 

“But then you know my coffee order when I’ve never told it to you. You save me from losers in parking lots and make sure I’m not drunk out of my mind at your obscene party. You make me feel… you make me feel stupid sometimes. And I thought it was because you’re everything I’m not, but I really think it’s because you’re everything I told myself I should stay away from. But I don’t want to.

“I wanted you to kiss me at that party and I want you to kiss me now.” 

“Then get over here. I’m not kissing you over some bullshit center console.” 

You twisted to follow his directions, gasping as his hands clasped around your waist to tug you into his lap. It wasn’t seamless—there was laughing and your head briefly connected with the roof of the car—but Bucky’s touch was everywhere, soothing the uncertainty and fear and slight headache. 

His forehead connected with yours when you felt secure in his arms. His fingers slid down from your waist over the material of your sweatpants and when he spoke next you felt the words on your own lips.

“You’re wearing sweatpants. You get so mad when I wear sweatpants.” 

You laughed. “I get mad because it usually means you just rolled out of bed, and you’re usually. late.” 

“I got a secret,” he whispered, nudging his nose against yours. “I’m never late. And I only wear those sweatpants around you. You get cute when you’re pissed at me.” 

“Well, I’m about to be really cute—”

He kissed you. You’d have plenty of time to argue later.

[keikikait]

ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

read my other rafe series here!

pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader (not au, both are early to mid 20's)

word count: 3k

summary: you're his safe space after stressful days in the outer banks

warnings: friends with benefits, light angst, no outright smut but it's mentioned/suggestive so read at your own risk, cheating??, i promise i don't actually hate sofia, i haven't finished s4 yet so i don't know everything, pining, soft rafe comes out for like four seconds, not proofread

a note: this is my first fic for outer banks! i don't think i slayed with this...

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

Ever since Rafe met you a year ago, he’s gone to you after everything.

Whenever he’s angry, or stressed, or feeling downright homicidal, he comes to you. He knocks three times on your apartment door before you let him in, pulling him into your arms. Sometimes he doesn’t even knock the third time before you’re throwing the door open and grabbing his hand. It’s almost as if he steps into a portal into another dimension with the way he immediately relaxes in your presence, everything rolling off of his shoulders as he wraps his arms around you. You’re always so soft, and you always smell so good, like that expensive perfume he got you for your birthday.

You’ll hold him for as long as he needs, rubbing his back and lightly scratching his scalp with your nails, it’s the least you could do considering he pays for them every time. He just has one rule. You can’t kiss him. And it’s so hard not to. It’s hard not to grab him and kiss him while he’s thrusting into you, hand on your throat. It’s hard not to kiss him when he rushes inside your apartment, angry tears in his eyes with blood on his knuckles after losing his temper on someone. 

You spend most of your nights waiting for him. Sometimes you stay up all night, waiting for those three little knocks. You spend most of the time asleep on your sofa, hoping he would come to you instead of her. 

Sofia.

At first, he told you Sofia was just a friend, which turned into a friends with benefits. He told you there wasn’t anything serious going on, and that she was just a girl he kept around when he was bored, that she was good for his ever decaying image in the Outer Banks. And you believed him. You fucking believed him. There was a little part of you that wanted to occupy his brain, be the only living space in his head. And when he’s filling up his lungs with a cigarette or some weed he bummed off of Kelce, you wanted to be the only name that’s under his breath. 

You didn’t know the truth until you saw her Instagram post. Her account was private, but you managed to get your follow request approved on your burner account. You spent far too much time scrolling through her never-ending posts and stories, looking for a glimpse of him. You had decided to check her account while eating your breakfast this morning, the spoon clattering out of your hand when you saw her newest post.

It was a photo of her and Rafe, lounging in his new house, with the caption; ‘Soft launching an almost year-long relationship. Happy 8 months, baby!’

Your oatmeal was shortly discarded. You crawled back into your bed, cancelled all of your plans, and decided to hide away from the world until you got over him. 

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It was almost 10 PM when you heard the three little knocks.

Rafe stands on the other side, hands shaking slightly. What was taking you so long? He bangs twice more before you finally open the door. 

You hold the door open just wide enough so he can see you, keeping your hand firmly on the doorknob. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He doesn’t sound like his usual self. He sounds drained, the bags under his eyes more pronounced than usual. He’s wearing a pair of black jeans and a hoodie, a gold chain around his neck that glitters in the light. It feels like forever before he speaks again, eyes not meeting yours. “Can I come in?”

You should say no. You should turn him away. You were the other woman, after all.

But you let him in, stepping aside, biting the inside of your lip.

Rafe sighs, relieved. He really didn’t want to stay somewhere else tonight. Quietly, he slips past you, going straight for your sofa. He plops himself down, immediately kicking his shoes off and burying his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. You shut the door and lock it, hesitating before walking over to him, standing next to the sofa. You almost move to sit next to him, nervously picking at the skin around your thumbnails.

He doesn’t notice you hovering over him, too lost in his own head. He looks like a complete mess. Rafe is usually so put together, always straightening his hair until it’s just right and tugging on the sleeve of his designer sweatshirt if it’s even a centimeter out of place.

“You okay?” You eventually say, and you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth. You shouldn’t have even let him in.

“What do you think?” His tone is bitter, but you can tell there’s no real bite behind it. He still refuses to look up, his fingers lacing together and gripping his hair almost painfully.

“Don’t do that.” You immediately say, reaching out and grabbing his fingers. “Don’t rip your hair out.”

He flinches for a moment, not expecting you to touch him. He glances up at you, his gaze meeting yours for a second before he looks away again, his shoulders slumping a little as all the fight leaves his body. Rafe doesn’t pull his hands away, instead he just moves them out of his hair, allowing you to hold his hands.

He looks so disheveled it almost hurts.

You sit down, continuing to hold his hands. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t respond at first. Instead, his thumb brushes against yours, absentmindedly. “We got into a fight. Me and Sofia.” He admits quietly. It shouldn’t make your heart leap into your throat, but it does. You shouldn’t be happy that he and his awful girlfriend are fighting.

“I’m sorry.” You say, brushing your thumbs over the back of his hands.

He sighs heavily, leaning his head against the back of the sofa. “It just… It didn’t use to be like this, y’know? We were just friends, and we were just messing around.” His tone is bitter, almost annoyed. “Now she wants me to be her boyfriend and everything is… different. And I don’t like it.”

Your eyes widen ever so slightly. At that moment you feel a glimmer of hope, that maybe he didn’t want to date Sofia, and that he actually wanted to be with you. “What happened?”

Rafe closes his eyes as he tilts his head towards the ceiling, like it’ll help him remember. “She was nagging me all day. Nag nag nag. I was trying to work, she wanted to go on a date.” He pauses just for a second to take a deep breath, his brow furrowing slightly when he releases it. “She started being a brat. ‘Oh, but you always make time for her!’” He says the last part in a high-pitched mocking tone.

“You can talk to me, if you want.” You slide your hand into his, intertwining your fingers. “You’re always welcome here.”

Rafe stares at your interlocked hands, biting the inside of his lip. He hesitates for a second before giving your hand a small squeeze. “I told her I didn’t feel like going on some stupid date, and she started acting like a baby. She said… she said if I wasn’t going to act like a boyfriend, I shouldn’t get to have all the benefits of having a girlfriend.” He says the last part with a scoff, anger making its way into his voice again.

You squeeze his hand. “Do you want to stay here tonight?”

Rafe finally looks back at you, his brow furrowing again. “Yeah. I don’t want to be home with her right now.” You didn’t know they lived together.

You hope it means as much to him as it does to you that he’s staying here. 

You lead him into your bedroom, pulling out the spare clothes that he keeps here. He changes in front of you, as he always does, and you have to stop yourself from staring. Part of you feels guilty for letting him stay here while his girlfriend was at home, waiting up for him.

You start to overthink. You want Rafe here. You don’t want him to go home, especially not to her. But you don’t want to be the other woman, you don’t want to make an enemy out of Sofia. “Rafe, maybe you should--” You start to say before he suddenly grabs you, throwing you onto your bed and climbing on top of you.

“Don’t.” He interrupts you, pinning your wrists to the mattress as he moves in to lay between your legs. He looks down at you, his brow still furrowed. “I don’t want to talk about her or hear her name. I just want to forget about her.” He leans down towards your neck, breathing in the scent of your skin. “I need you.”

“You have me.” You say softly.

He shakes his head. Something in him shifts as he starts tugging on your shirt, trying to pull it off of you. He seems desperate, desperate for you and to feel your skin against his. “You don’t get it.”

You lift your arms so he can pull your t-shirt off. “You need me, Rafe, and I’m here. I’m always here.” Your expression falls, growing slightly worried as you see his eyes turn red, tears starting to well up.

Rafe shakes his head, the motion almost desperate.  “No,” he answers, his fingers tracing the soft skin around your ribs. “I need you. I need you in a way that I’ve never needed anyone before. I need to be so close to you that we’re a single being. I need my skin against yours with no boundaries between us. I need—”. He slowly pushes you onto your back, moving to hover over you as his hands continue to roam, moving to caress your sides and hips. “I need to feel you against me,” he whispers. “I need your skin on mine until there’s no way to know where you begin, and I end.”

You’ve never wanted to kiss him so bad. You reach up and cup his face, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone. "You have me, honey. In every way you want. I'll always be here."

He presses his face against your palm, closing his eyes and nuzzling into your touch, chasing after the gentle sensation of your hands against his skin. He swallows hard, his throat bobbing as his eyes open again to meet yours. He presses closer against you, his forehead dropping to rest in the crook of your neck. He lets out a shaky breath. “Baby,” he whispers, voice cracking slightly before he stops, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs as he tries to hold himself together.

“What?” You ask softly, your hand moving up behind his head.

“I… I can’t take this anymore.” Rafe presses himself even closer against you, his entire torso pressing against yours as his arms wrap around your middle, his fingers tracing the skin of your back. “Sofia.” He says her name like it’s a curse, his grip on you tightening. “She’s controlling and clingy and demanding. I have to go where she wants, do everything she wants, and I can’t say no to anything, or she throws a tantrum. I hate it.”

“Don’t think about her.” You say softly into his ear, rubbing the back of his neck with your thumb. “She’s not here. I am.” 

“I know,” he whispers, and the words come out so close to him moaning that it sends little sparks directly to your core. “God, I know. You’re all I can think about. You’ve been all I can think about since I met you.” 

A moment of silence passes between you, only the sound of his ragged breathing filling the room until he speaks again, sounding more desperate this time. “Kiss me, please.”

Your eyes widen, your heart almost stopping. “What? But Rafe, you told me I couldn’t.”

“I don’t care.” His voice is firm, his hand moving up from your back to cup your cheek, forcing you to look up at him. His eyes are dark, the deep blue practically black in the low light of the room.  “Please. I need to feel something that isn’t her against me. I need to feel you. Kiss me, please, kiss me, please—” His words break into a desperate plea, his hand pressing against the skin of your back almost frantically.

He sounds so desperate, it makes your heart ache.

You cup his cheeks and kiss him, going softly at first.

Rafe immediately melts into your touch, his entire body relaxing in response. His hands start to roam again, his fingertips tracing the curve of your waist, the skin on the underside of your thighs, the flesh of your back. He can’t stay still, touching every inch of you that his hands can reach as he kisses you like the taste of your mouth is the only thing that will save him from drowning. His tongue swipes along your bottom lip, begging you to give him more as he pushes your legs open. He grinds himself against you, reaching down to pull your panties off. He pulls away before ripping the soft purple cotton in half, shoving the remnants into his pocket. He sits up on his knees, tugging his sweatpants down, smirking at you when your eyes linger on his bulge.

He tugs his boxers down and goes to climb on top of you again when you stop him. “Condom, Rafe.”

That stops him in his tracks, his eyes widening slightly and his cheeks turning pink as he looks down at you. “I didn’t—“ He swallows hard, his throat bobbing obviously as he looks almost guilty. “I didn’t bring one.”

“Dresser.” You say. “Top drawer, by the socks. Big box of ‘em.”

He immediately scrambles off of the bed, his fingers trembling slightly as he pulls open the drawer, digging through it before finding the box. He picks up the box, his fingers drumming against the lid for a moment before popping it open. He glances at you as he pulls one out, tossing the box onto the floor next to a discarded sock without bothering to shut the lid. “How often do you bring guys back here?” He asks, more accusatory than he intended for it to be.

“Not for other guys.” You say. “You just never bring any.”

“Oh.” He seems to relax a little at that answer, swallowing hard and looking almost sheepish as he turns around, holding it up between two fingers.

He looks so handsome walking over to you, now.

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Rafe fucks you so good, you almost tell him you love him.

Your legs are still shaky the next morning as you make your way around your kitchen, preparing some breakfast. You hear him padding through your apartment before coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his chest against your back. You lean against him as you cook, reaching up with your free hand to cup his cheek.

You sit in comfortable silence.

Until Rafe’s phone dings.

He sighs, pulling it out of his pocket. He opens the message and reads it, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Something wrong?” You ask.

“It’s Sofia.” He says.

You tighten your grip on your spatula. “Is it?”

“Yeah,” Rafe sighs, kissing the back of your head. “I gotta go home. I promised her a brunch date on the mainland.”

You freeze, but just for a second. “You’re going back to her? Even after what we talked about yesterday?” You turn the stove top off and set your spatula down, turning to face him.

“Yeah. She’s my girlfriend.” Rafe says.

You’re speechless. Were you being delusional last night? Did you dream it all? “But… I thought you said that you didn’t like being her boyfriend.”

“I don’t.” Rafe says, sighing. He tilts his head slightly. “She’s good for appearances, for my reputation.”

“But you don’t need her to have a good reputation.” You argue. “Just try to not fight every Pogue you see, and your reputation will skyrocket.” 

“You don’t get it, baby.” Rafe says, starting to get defensive. “I need her. Whether you like it or not, I need to play pretend with her.”

“But is it worth it?” You ask. “Is it worth being unhappy?”

“I’m always unhappy!” Rafe says. “I’m kinda used to it, sweetheart.”

You scoff. “Are you unhappy with me?”

“No, of course not.” Rafe says quickly. “Don’t be stupid.”

You sigh. “Rafe, I just don’t understand your reasoning.”

“It’s just for appearances.” Rafe says. He can feel himself getting angrier and angrier, but he has to hold himself back, stop himself from snapping at you. He reaches up and tugs on his hair again. “God, what do you want from me? What do you want me to do, huh?”

You suck in a short breath. You haven’t seen Rafe angry in so long, you almost forgot what it was like. “All I wanted was you.”

Rafe purses his lips, looking away. He takes a shaky deep breath, counting to four before releasing, a trick you taught him. He takes a step towards you, watching you flinch slightly. “No, don’t…don’t flinch, baby. You know I’m not gonna do anything.” He reaches out, cupping the back of your head, threading his fingers through your hair before pulling you closer. He kisses your forehead before sighing, leaving his lips against your skin.

“It’s just for appearances.” He whispers. “I promise.” He kisses your forehead again before pulling away, cupping your face. “I’ll be back tonight, okay? Please promise me you’ll stay up.”

You nod.

Rafe sighs, lightly squishing your cheeks, his voice low and soft. “Words, sweet girl.”

You shiver, leaning closer. “I promise I’ll stay up.”

“Good girl.” His voice is almost a whisper as he pulls you closer, kissing your forehead yet again. “I’ll be back soon.”

He leaves as quickly as he entered, shutting the door behind you.

You let out a shaky breath before turning the stove top back on and continuing to cook.

You were going to stay up. You would be stupid not to.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

let me know what you think!

part two is here!

[avicecaro]

see. okay. this is true about chairs. and while i personally think “adult human female, female meaning of the sex which produces ova” is a very clear and comprehensive definition, not everyone agrees. and, for the sake of argument, that’s fine! but that’s not how the law works. lawmaking bodies agonize over the precise definitions of terms to ensure that the law does what they’re hoping it will do, and is not easily misused. that’s their job.

in ireland, the bread that fast food restaurants use is legally considered cake because of the sugar content. cake is regulated differently than bread. do you and i need to argue the finer points of cake and bread? how sweet do you think something has to be so we can consider it cake? does it matter? not really. but it does when you’re trying to tax staple foods and non-staple foods differently.

there have been multiple court cases in the US determining if a taco is a sandwich (as of May 2024, it is, as per the superior court of indiana, fun fact). is a taco a sandwich? i don’t know! i don’t really think so. if someone said “hey i made sandwiches” and gave me a taco, i’d be confused. and anyway, does it matter? not really. but it does when i’m trying to determine if a taco restaurant can open in a space that won’t allow sandwich shops.

is a barbershop different than a hair salon? i think so. i go to a hair salon, my brother goes to a barbershop, if we switched our appointments we’d both be unhappy. it matters for the sake of communication, but is it a super important distinction? not really. but what if i signed a non-compete agreement with the barbershop i work at that said i wouldn’t work at any nearby barbershop for six months after terminating my contract? can i work at a hair salon? now it matters.

if i needed fifty chairs for an event, and the company i contracted with sent fifty horses, or fifty tables, they could argue “but it’s something with four legs that a person can sit on!” and they’d be correct. but i would know i’d been given something different than what i asked for, and i would expect the chair supplier to know that, too. so if i want to demand a refund/return/exchange on the basis that i’ve received the wrong product, do i have a claim?

so, okay, you feel we can’t define the term “woman” perfectly. or maybe we can define it, as in we know what we’re trying to talk about, but we don’t have a good term for it. wouldn’t be the first time it happened! but if we are creating a legal category, it does in fact need to have parameters. meaningful parameters.

if i want to give some speeches promoting radical gender acceptance, i could probably get away with never outright defining the word woman. but what if i want men who kill women to have their crimes classified as hate crimes? i need to have a meaningfully defined category of what a woman is and what makes one different from a man. mexico requires that congressional candidates be split 50-50 between men and women to enforce gender parity. “woman” has to be a meaningfully defined category, or else … well, you’ll end up with the same problem they keep having to deal with.

if we want protections or resources for women, “women” have to be a meaningful legal category. if it is a category anyone can opt into, then it is a category that includes anyone, which is not a meaningful category when it is meant to include only half of people. also women aren’t chairs.

[postsforposting]

seriously mean

you can see what you like in fiction, blah blah blah, projecting onto characters is fun, etc

though it really seems like i watched a completely different movie from everyone else's deadpool and wolverine. they hate each other??? logan's a short fuse who doesn't control himself???

logan doesn't attack wade or the bartender despite the insults and the manhandling. no one's afraid of him, everyone stayed put instead of running.

logan outright says "talk about something else". not "shut the fuck up", not "you are so fucking annoying". a directive to continue yapping. just not about the suit. that's literally "keep going". he listened for however long they were walking and in the car, and he was actually LISTENING. he wasn't tuning it out. he wouldn't have known about vanessa and the avengers and the previous xmen adventures if he didn't care about what wade was saying.

all the "insults" that are actual insults only happen when wade's killed someone--after johnny dies, after nicepool dies. logan calls him an asshole after the first cassandra meeting, but in the context of his yapping having just killed johnny and nearly themselves too.

but he immediately asks for his input and then lets him yap again in the diner and all the way to the car fight. he doesn't use insults at all until after wade gets johnny killed, even though wade starts out insulting him in the bar and immediately in the void with "ape". though was he insulting logan or was it a compliment to his inhuman half, designed like an insult? logan's the one who gets down on all fours like an animal in the first fight scene, after wade's said "this is gonna be good". from how easily logan takes down sabretooth, we know that fight was pure fooling around.

logan's not mad when he finds out his universe can't be fixed, because he'll happily trade his past for wade's future--twice, going in the reactor and again when he doesn't demand to return to his own universe. a world without wade isn't one he wants. he makes to walk away because he needs to know if wade will call his name, just as logan called wade's in the reactor. and again, wade's an idiot and annoying in the reactor because he's about to kill someone again--himself.

at the end he says the avengers would be lucky to have wade. that's sincere. he was going to walk off, but chose to turn around and stay with wade. not because he had nowhere else to go, but because he likes the guy he just complimented. when meeting al, wade's throwing gross nonsense and logan is FOND and laughing along. that isn't disgust or frustration.

this is without getting into the motif that "taking the piss", aka insults aka verbal assaults, is "pulling your leg"--a joke. it's not meant seriously. it's flirting, foreplay, feeling each other out: physical violence is sex; verbal violence is first base.

so a mean joke isn't seriously like that but it very much definitely IS...."""like that""", in all seriousness. if you're insulting someone, you're "giving them an excuse", a come on to fucking go. an invite to...come....at? on?.....you. wade and logan both see right through the fourth wall, so this isn't only metatextual but also literally textual. they know what they're playing at.

a joke can also be an excuse to say one thing and mean another, like nicepool claiming to be nice while actually being rude. so if you act like you're mean.....you're saving the good stuff for special occasions. for someone who wants to have a go at you. it's why wade gets all breathy flustered in the car as they're....not playing nicely with each other. you gotta be....seriously mean.... if you wanna get under someone's skin....to live rent free with them. like family does. it's a callback to dp1: if you're paying for it, then you're only renting love, it's not a real happily ever after.

there's also a motif going on with costumes and masks making you "a different person", hence why wade and logan have radically different personalities in and out of their suits/masks. it's why wade takes off his mask to say nice things that he sincerely means.

[lil-dragon-rawr]

FNaF x DC: the Aftons vs the Gotham Rogue Gallery

(a continuation of this post)

Part Three is now available :D (the brainrot has taken over)

Red Hood: hey, kids have been going missing lately. I haven't been able to find who dunnit yet so be sure to keep Gregory out of the streets

Michael: kids. Going missing?

Michael, thinking: this sounds like a job for a pyromaniac night guard!

Red Hood, finally tracking down the Dollmaker's lair: uhh hi Mike, whatcha doin?

Michael "Constantly Atoning For the Sins of His Past" Afton, messing with the wiring of the building while a group of missing kids huddle around him: making sure that freak goes up in flames

Red Hood: ...cool, want some C4 to go with that?

Michael:

Red Hood:

Michael, realizing there's a more efficient way to do this: you have C4?

Kiteman: *exists, minding his own business, enjoying a scenic flight over the park*

Gregory, dragging a wagon full of God knows what to the nearest roof: hey Freddy look away for a minute, okay?

Glamrock Freddy: Gregory, I cannot help but feel you are about to do something incredibly suspicious, if not outright illegal.

Gregory:

Glamrock Freddy:

Glamrock Freddy: I will remove power to my eyes for one minute.

Gregory: :)

(forty-five seconds later)

Kiteman: *screams, falls from the sky, crashes through a food cart on his way down*

Glamrock Freddy: ...Gregory, what did you do?

Gregory:

Gregory: so you know the saying two birds, one stone?

Glamrock Freddy:

Gregory:

Glamrock Freddy:

Gregory: ...I got you a wingsuit!

Glamrock Freddy, disappointed: Gregory.

Nightwing and Scrap Baby: *still arguing over clown etiquette*

Joker, thinking that Nightwing is distracted and that this is a good opportunity to pull a "shenanigan": hrnngnn hello Gotham citizens! I planted Joker venom in a school and a hospital! Whichever place evacuates first gets the other place gassed hehaugha!

Scrap Baby, staring at the Joker in a way that can only be described as judgemental:

Nightwing, breaking off his rant to also stare at the Joker:

Scrap Baby:

Nightwing:

Scrap Baby: so we can both agree that that's not a clown, right?

Nightwing, pulling out his escrima sticks: oh, absolutely

Red Hood, explaining how he died to Michael: -and that's why I hate clowns.

Michael: yikes

Michael, trying to figure out what kind of ghost/undead Red Hood is: do you want...revenge?

Red Hood: well yeah but B's super stingy about how many guys I can off per year

Michael: ...do you have to kill the clown for your revenge to be satiated?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: ...no

Michael: cool :)

Michael, checking his FazWatch as he waits outside the gates of Arkham: hm, this is taking longer than I thought

Red Robin: heyyy Mike whatcha doin out here

Michael: waiting on my brother and his friend :)

Batman, Concerned™: Michael, did you send Gregory into Arkham?

Michael: no of course not, I would never be so irresponsible!

Batman and Red Robin, thinking the situation isn't that bad: *breathing a sigh of relief*

Michael: Do you know how much physical and psychological damage he'd cause?

Batman and Red Robin: ...

Michael, not reading the room: maybe I should send him in there. For enrichment, if nothing else

Red Robin, putting pieces together: wait, what's Golden Freddy doing in Arkham?? Isn't it just an empty suit???

Batman, thinking: please don't make me explain this to Gordon. Please don't make me explain this to Gordon.

Michael: oh he's there for revenge! :D

Batman:

Batman: *deep, deep sigh*

Batman: explain.

Michael: well, there are different types of ghosts, right?

Michael: you met the Puppet, she's a protector

Michael: and I'm a mix of atonement and protection

Michael: but my brother's friend is a vengeful spirit!

Michael: ...and she kind of maybe imprinted on Red Hood pleasedon'tbemad

Batman: *very long sigh*

Batman: if anyone's dead, it's your fault.

Michael, knowing it'll only be the Joker: ...I can live with that

Golden Freddy: *appears* ITSME

Red Robin: *jumps four feet in the air*

Michael: well you sure decided to take your time!

Golden Freddy:

Michael: yeah yeah whatever

Michael: did you have fun?

Golden Freddy: :)

Gordon: so the Joker's dead because...?

Batman: ...it's complicated.

Gordon, eyeing him suspiciously: not that I'm complaining about the Joker being dead but whoever did it must've been an expert, they got in and out without being seen and distorted the cameras while they were in his cell

Batman, knowing it was a child:

Mr. Freeze, cornering Michael: tell me the secret to eternal life!

Michael: heh???

Mr. Freeze: you have discovered a way to live forever, now share it with me so I can save my wife!

Michael:

Michael: okay well first off I didn't do crap-

Michael, experiencing constant harassment from Mr. Freeze: can you get lost already?

Mr. Freeze: I think you know the answer to that.

Michael, increasingly fed up with Freeze's toddler mindset: fine, you wanna know?

Mr. Freeze, excited: finally!

Michael: eternal life is a curse, not a gift,

Mr. Freeze: heh?

Michael: I mean look at me I'm literally a walking corpse held together with duct tape,

Michael: and don't even get me started on how I got here,

Michael: all I did was trust someone close to me,

Michael: and you know what happened?

Mr. Freeze:

Michael: I died!

Michael: and then a pile of robot spaghetti violated my body!

Mr. Freeze, backing away slowly: what the [ERROR: REPLACE: OEDIPUS]

Michael, watching him go:

Michael: well that was easy

Michael: should've done that ages ago

Scrap Baby, meeting Harley for the first time: you're a clown too!!

Harley, trying to compliment her: aww no you're a clown!

Harley: love your hair btw

Nightwing, very pointedly: yeah Harley's an actual clown cause she went to clown school

Scrap Baby: !!! Clown school!!!

(Harley and Scrap Baby having a therapy session)

Scrap Baby, lamenting: it took me so long to realize I didn't need to do everything Father said

Harley: aw yeah the patriarchy is deeply ingrained in society, but you don't need a man to be evil! You can be a villain all on your own!

Harley, raising a glass: anyways cheers to recognizing the most important man in your life was a manipulative [£√√@√]!

Scrap Baby, clinking her own glass against Harley's: to female villain empowerment!

Red Robin, listening in and comprehending the chaos Nightwing unleashed: oh Jesus Christ

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

Ok. So Dani and Damian are around 23-26. You can decide. Fair warning this one’s pretty long

So while Dani was traveling the world, she meet Talia Al Ghul.

They became friends(?) and regularly meet up for coffee and tea and such (Dani is not part of the LOA) (Talia wanted to adopt her but she said no) (Dani knows of the LOA but not of Damian. In my mind a demon heir would be confidential information)

Damian leads the Wayne foundations (as well as the Martha and Thomas Wayne foundations) which involves lot of international travel. With his vigilantism and his job, Bruce forces him to put out applications for a secretary. He’s been moonlighting as the Vulture for a couple of years.

Dani, with her years of traveling in now fluent in multiple languages (one of her obsessions) and decided to attend collage in Star City, moving to Gotham after a degree in international business relations.

She applies at Wayne Enterprises for a job, and gets invited for coffee with Talia via coffee message.

Barbara Gordon intercepted the message and sends Damian and Tim to watch her meeting with a mystery person.

They are slightly confused as to Talia is meeting with a seemingly normal civilian. And Damian thinks this that she must be working with the Leauge (no matter how pretty her laugh was)

Talia, who realizes that if Dani won’t allow her to become her daughter, then daughter-in-law is the next best thing.

He realizes how royally he fucked up when Bruce introduces him to his new secretary, Danielle Jane Masters-Fenton.

So now he’s working with a (presumed) LOA assassin, one who’s (probably) infiltrating the company to get to his family. And Talia is try to set them up for some reason.

However, no one believes him when he tells them of his theory. Not even Bruce, who did the actual interview. (He also thought that she would make a good match for Damian, and bonus points if the rest of the family thinks so as well)

Part of Dani’s jobs description is to accompany her boss on international trips, which can take anywhere from 3 days to a week. And it’s pretty difficult when your boss hates you for some reason but can’t fire you because of his dad. Even harder when you’re forced to become a antihero (Vapor) to clean gothams curses and ghost cults and have an odd relationship with the Vulture

There are so many shenanigans that can happen

- Dani and Damian going on a routine business trip and having it run late, plus with the time zones, they are exhausted and forget to book the hotel room. The take the last available room, which happens to have only one bed. Neither one cares.

- mass Arkham breakout, and Dani retunes to work with a fractured left wrist. She says she got injured in the breakout and when Damian goes to her because he’s concerned suspicious he asks her more about it. Dani panics and tells him it was alright because Vapor was there and saved her (she actually got into a brawl with sulker)

~Vulture immediately seeks out Vapor to find out which rouge Dani her and Dani figures out his identity because Damian was the only one she mentioned anything about Vapor to she panicked okay??

- another trip but Damian doesn’t speak the local language (Dani knows more) and the company’s daughter insults Damian to their face because she assumed neither of them spoke the Language. Dani ripped her a new one, and because of her outright hostility (which has never happen before) Damian doesn’t renew the contracts with the company and instead spends the rest of the trip trying to cheer up Dani’s mood.

- Danny. Sam and Tucker all visit her in Gotham and the everlasting trio all go to an animal rights protest that ends up with them in a brawl. Damian also ends up brawling on their side and the four of them get thrown in the same jail cell while they wait for someone to bail them out. Tim arrives for Damian at the same time Dani arrives for the trio. To spite them, Dani and Tim have a long conversation in front of their cell instead of letting them out. (The group approves of Damian)

- a ghost attacks Dani and Damian on their way to the airport, Dani whips out her ghost busting moves. Damian finally decides to admit to himself that he’s in love after watching her tackle a ghost to the ground and make him beg for mercy (technus should’ve known better that to pick a fighter against her. in Gotham. With her crush boss watching)

- Dani kills the Joker, and a member of Black Masks crew saw her, so Vulture was assigned to be her bodyguard of sorts

- Dani is planning an international gala for the Waynes and is very stressed out. So stressed out, that a week before the gala she realized she didn’t think to accommodate for any rouge attacks and spends the next 3 days in her office. Damian eventually drops her sleep deprived butt home.

- Dan visits Dani in her office

- wingman Jon

- International business meeting hosted at WE. Rouge attakd the meeting and Dani gets injured. Damian sees red

- Waynes go to a masked gala in Wisconsin, hosted by Vlad Masters. Dani and Damian share a dance (while wearing masks) and a ghost ruins the party

- M A K I N G O U T W H I L E D R U N K

- Damian figures out Dani’s identity simply because he realizes they laugh and smile the same

- “Danielle.”

“Yeah?”

“Your birthday is coming up, correct?”

“It is, what about it?”

“What would you like?”

“Damian, you don’t have to get me anything.”

“Tt. Ridiculous. What would you like?”

“Get me a (super rare sword from medieval times)” (she was joking)

“Consider it done.” (He was not)

Eventually Ra’s finds out about Dani and her connection to his grandsons and daughter and decides to kidnap her as blackmail.

[thewrothode-if]

A historical low fantasy interactive fiction game set during the Viking Age.

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on historical events, people, and places. Some locations and characters are fictional, while others are not.

You were born to a mother who went mad and a father who grew to hate you.

A quiet night erupted into chaos as your mother, possessed by a force unknown, attempted to kill you. Years later, with your father now Jarl, he orders you to investigate the eerie silence enveloping his settlement in England.

The more you learn, the bigger it all seems to be. More Viking settlements are targeted and you are the only one who seems to have any sense of stopping it.

All the while, the voices in your mind swell and surge, a relentless tide which threatens to envelop your very soul.

"S̵̛̻̼̻̝̺̠̞̟͙̈́h̴͖͉͎̥͓̺̣̽͜ë̶̡̤̠̪͖̖́̎̽̄̀̏̂̚’̵̨͖̱͘s̵̢̨͔͇̟̳̙̹̙̜̊̀͂͗̑͗ ̵͙̜͙̮̘͎̘̝̭̆͂̓h̴͇͋̓e̷̛͈̮̼̿̌̅͗͠r̸̪̃͒͘͝ě̸̂͌̈̓͂́͝ͅ.̷̨̛̩̦̩̟͌͒́̿̒͜͠"

Play as a male or female.

Romance four characters with one secret option.

Have any choice be considered romantic, even if it's as simple as a grunt.

Shape your viking’s personality and see how other's react when you switch it up.

Choose which god you will follow; Mímir, Magni, Hermóðr or ….?

Will you let it overtake you?

♢THYRA - THE COLD WARRIOR. [F] She is cold and relentless in her efforts to snub you, yet her presence always lingers about. She is what you would call a friend, even though she would refuse such a title. When she is forced to accompany you to England, she seems to change. Enemy-friends to lovers, [REDACTED], tsundere.

♧GUNGIR - THE JARL'S SECOND-HAND. [M] He’s a gentle giant, always trying to befriend you, but you hate him. He is the ‘son’ your father always wanted. Though he never says it outright, you see it in the way he offers him a love you would never receive. So you have vowed to the gods above that no kindness will ever be shown to him, at least, not from you. Enemies to lovers (one-sided), puppy love, forced proximity.

♤RAUD - THE [REDACTED]. [M] A childhood friend from your past. He was a soft and gentle child, but now he’s changed. He’s a [REDACTED] and he has all forgotten your past together. When he looks at you, it’s filled with the desire to [REDACTED], not with the fondness once held in his eyes. Childhood friends to ??? to lovers, amnesia.

♡ANNE - THE STRANGE BARD. [F] A strange and merry woman you met in England. She says she’s a simple bard, playing her lute any chance she gets. Yet when she begs to come along on your voyage, your mistrust of her is unwavering. Strangers to lovers, [REDACTED], sunshine love.

☆??? - ??? [M] ??? Forbidden love, huge red flag, dark secret.

____________________________ CoGDemos link - here Forum - here RO: intros - here Tags - here

Word Count: Prologue: 22,663. Chapter 1: 115,295. Chapter 2: Working on it! Total: 137,958.

[ropebunnykant]

I've seen a lot of ppl frustrated at Kant/the Captain for meeting up outside the bar, but my take on it was that was a deliberate power play by CC (not that I don't think he's inept enough to do so out of sheer stupidity!) - Kant had clearly been ignoring his calls, as implied by his convo with Style and explictly seen in his convo with Bison (and when he says he's sick of his 'customer' flip-flopping and doesn't want to talk to him anymore, that's obviously a declaration of intent vis a vis continuing his relationship with the police), and what do cops do when their informants aren't co-operating? They pile on the pressure. And one way to do so is to turn up in front of their informants in public spaces, because they are happy to use the threat of blowing their cover as leverage - talk to us, or else we'll make sure everyone sees/knows what you are. Wouldn't surprise me if they had someone tracking Kant and CC sent him a message along the lines of 'either you come out or we come in.' Look at Kant's body language - he doesn't want to be there, he's frustrated, he's on edge, but at this point he's also visibly exhausted and probably on some level thinking slightly self-destructively - if he gets caught then at least it'll be over, at least CC can't use him anymore, at least he doesn't have to tell Bison himself and see with his own eyes what the truth does to him.

I know fandom in general is sympathetic to the ACAB sentiment, but I'm getting the feeling ppl don't fully appreciate just how fucked up the dynamic between a handler and an informant can be at the best of times, let alone when the handler is corrupt or at the very least abusing their position! I've seen (valid) accusations of grooming levelled against Lilly, but it's not something that only happens to children - all it takes is a significant power differential and someone who is at risk. And we've seen CC using the classic combo of praise and pressure - he switches from flattering Kant ('I know you can do this', 'you certainly lived up to my expectations') to threatening him (which goes beyond the initial outright blackmail - when he says stuff like 'you think they'll let you live once we arrest them?', that is a threat, that is him saying to Kant: we won't protect you - you quit now, you're on your own).

I really appreciated your tags on the height as power play thing, because that jumped out at me when I watched that scene, and it was so sad seeing Kant desperately trying to wrest back the upper hand and suddenly looking so much younger and more vulnerable as soon as CC stood up. And I admit we're veering into fanon rather than canon now, but it just makes me even more curious about his timeline - how old he was when he got caught? Did CC start off as a sort of quasi-father figure? Is that how he reeled him in? Did it begin, not with blackmail, but with manipulating Kant into wanting his approval? Perhaps my most burning question, however, is: what if this isn't even the first time he's been used as a honeytrap?? And I know it's most likely just First being incaptable of not having ridiculous chemistry with every single man who so much as breathes in his vicinity (let's face it, there's a reason the top three 'ghost ship' pairings on that poll are all First-based! But isn't it also because of the potential Kant brings as a character - the potential backstory tween him and Style/CC, the potential hate-sex with Fadel...), rather than anything deliberate but...the *vibes*! If you lean into that side of things and headcanon that yes, Kant did in fact fuck that cop, then phew, there is SO much to unpack there!

This is why I don't get viewers sleeping on Kant - imo he's the most interesting character! There are so many layers! Out of the main four, we probably know the least about him, and part of that is because we can't even trust that what we've ostensibly learned is even true! That whole riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma thing? That's him! And not even because he's that complicated a person deep down - most of the meta I've read here has, I reckon it'll turn out, already nailed it. It's just that a combo of the tricksy and subtle way he's been written/played and the narrative role he's been given requires us to do some of the legwork ourselves (by which I apparently mean, you know, actually paying attention and caring??) to determine what in his words/actions/feelings/face is authentic and what's not, and when, and why, etc (heaven forbid we have to read between the lines!). Maybe some more casual viewers aren't used to that in their bls, and I totally get that ppl go into shows for different reasons and some just want the light entertainment/aesthetic appreciation of it all and aren't interested in deep dives and 10,000 word analyses, and that's absolutely their prerogative! We've all been there! But equally, you don't then get to complain about the writing/acting/characterisation when, by choice, you've skipped/missed/misinterpreted what's being put onscreen (disclaimer: I'm not saying no criticism allowed - there's things I'd have tweaked - just not when it's unfounded cos it's based on viewer indifference/ignorance). I don't want to use the term 'spoon-feeding', it feels ungenerous, and yet...!

Eek, this got away from me. Long story short: don't underestimate the lengths CC will go to just to keep Kant dancing to his tune, including risking his cover by showing up outside his favourite bar!

first of all, thank you for such a long ask, i love getting things like this in my inbox and be prepared for an equally long essay of my own shskdhd i will put it under a cut since your ask in itself is pretty long, but i agree with everything you said basically

i feel like every complaint i hear about kant just leaves me so very baffled. like at a certain point, you’re just coming up with reasons to be mad at him. and like i really wish that people would just fess up to the fact that they just don’t like him. that fundamentally something about him annoys them and that’s okay! you don’t need to like every character, but it pisses me off when people try to justify their dislike of anything by pulling reasons out of their ass. and like, okay, i understand that i obviously over analyze the shit out media i enjoy, and there are a lot people that don’t do that and watch with their brain turned off or just don’t put all the little things together. and that’s fine, but if you’re gonna complain about things at least make sure you’re complaining accurately. like some people didn’t even realize that christ was a cop until ep6 and apparently thought kant was doing it all for money?? when in their FIRST scene together, it is made explicitly clear that not only is christ a cop, but that kant is being blackmailed into this in order to keep his brother in his custody. you may not personally agree with everything he does, you may disagree how much of a choice he has in everything he does, but that does not change his motivations or the power that christ holds over him - and if you don’t realize at least those things, it’s not even a matter of media literacy, you are just not paying attention! or you’re skipping scenes and like, im not telling you how to enjoy shows, if you wanna skip scenes go ahead! but you can’t then complain about things that aren’t actually happening just because you tried to piece together what happened in the scenes you skipped 💀

and this complaint is especially silly because not only does kant explicitly emphasize that he’s been avoiding the captain and therefore we can assume the captain showed up to put pressure on him, but i feel like it’s been made pretty obvious that he doesn’t really have a choice in the meet up spots regardless? like they either meet at the police station/christ’s office, or he shows up in places that kant already is to talk to him, like the pool or the bar. so, i feel like getting mad at kant for that is so stupid? especially considering even IF meeting at the bar had been kant’s decision… he didn’t know bison was gonna show up?? he thought bison was in hiding and it’s his friend’s bar, so it’s a perfectly reasonable place for him to be and to be willing to meet up with the captain like?? he could not have predicted bison showing up after disappearing for a week post-failed murder attempt. like be serious.

when it comes to the acab aspect, i think trying to dive into people’s actual beliefs on that is a can of worms that will not end well shskdhd but in the very least, looking at it from a media perspective, i think in general people expect us to be supposed to root for the cops. like whether or not what you personally believe, the general sentiment in most media is that the cops are the good guys - because that’s the way we’re trained to believe that in society at large, so more often than not, it’s assumed that the cops in most shows are the good guys.

however, when you walk into a show like the heart killers, where 3/4 of our main protagonists are criminals (two murders and a former car thief) and the genre is explicitly a romcom, you have to also understand that the cops in a show like that are not gonna be the good guys! and i think in general, you have to be willing to understand that your personal morals and beliefs are not going to line up with the things these characters are doing. this is a show about assassins! if you’re going to try and argue for who’s morally in the right or who’s the most fucked up one, maybe this isn’t the show for you. and that’s okay!

all that to say you SHOULD be suspicious of the captain and his intentions - you should not trust him as some morally good figure because he’s been explicitly shown to be blackmailing and manipulating kant in all of this! he is a villain, explicitly so. and while i know we don’t have an exact age for when kant’s parents died and he had to start raising babe or for when he got caught, it’s very safe to assume this has been a long time thing. kant says their dad died young, babe says that kant raised him, so kant had to have been young when he had to start taking care of babe, and i’m assuming also pretty young when he got caught for his car thefts. so, it would not at all shock me if the captain saw a young, college-aged kant, who’d just lost his father and was desperately trying to keep himself and his pre-teen brother afloat, and saw an opportunity to put on the mentor role and mold this kid into what he wanted and needed. i think the lilly comparison makes perfect sense - because we’ve already been shown time and time again the similarities between the captain and lilly and the ways they manipulate kant, bison, and fadel. this being another way theyre similar would be no shock to me.

nor would it be a shock if the captain also made the relationship sexual at some point and kant having daddy issues and therefore being into it makes perfect sense as well shskdhd like you said i think it’s a combo of first having insane chemistry with everyone but also just kant’s character making these dynamics interesting - which is why first was the perfect casting choice they could have made shskdhd kant’s character in general is exceptionally fascinating to me, but i feel like i’ve made that pretty obvious with all my kant posting, and i don’t get how anyone can just write him off or view him as being one dimensional in anyway when he has SO MANY layers to him. he’s incredibly complex and that’s what i adore about him.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

hii:)) i saw you're willing to write about pegging, so could you write something like that with dave? :3 Its fine if not^^

Warnings: Smut, pegging, fingering (m receiving), if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

"No!" He yelled. "No, absolutely not, I am drawing a line!"

Dave did not like the scene before him, you naked -that wasn't the bad part- wearing a strap on dildo, a pair a handcuff dangling from your finger by the chain.

A pout tugged at your lips at his disdain. "Please? Just once!"

"No, I-I'm not letting you put that thing up mine!" He yelled, shaking his head and throwing his hands up in surrender. "That is my one thing, I'm not gay."

Your hands fell to your sides. "Dave, it doesn't make you gay if there's a woman at the other end of it."

"Yeah, yeah, you say that." You rolled your eyes at him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What will it take, huh?" You asked. "It's my birthday and you know that I like it."

"And you know why I threw out your old harness thing." He said, flailing his finger at your get up.

You huffed, it was going to take a lot for him to let you do this. "Sex whenever you want for a month." You said.

"You do that anyway."

"I won't if you don't let me try this." That made him stop. "Please?" You said in a softer tone, taking a few slow steps towards him. You reached for his arm, running your hand over him and giving his bicep a squeeze. "For me?" You blinked at him, pouting more.

He hated you, he hated that he couldn't say no, he hated being on all fours on the bed with you behind him.

"You better enjoy this." He grumbled as you squirted some lube onto your finger, making sure he wouldn't get too hurt. You pushed a finger into him and he inhaled deeply. "That's just wrong." He said, shaking his head.

"If you could at least try to enjoy this."

"I get a blow job when you're done." He said, looking back at you over your shoulder. You nodded and started moving your finger, pumping it in and out of him until he was stifling moans.

He tried to hide it but you knew it would feel good, you knew what you were doing. You squeezed more lube onto him and pushed another finger in, using your two digits to scissor his hole and loosen him.

Dave was so, so against this, but it was your birthday and he loved you and when you started he liked it. He would never admit that, not even the worst form of torture could get him to speak.

But he did, he never outright said he loved what you were doing, but his face was shoved into the pillows and his back arched, raising his ass for you to thrust into, he was a whining, moaning mess.

"Fuck, mommy-mommy, please!" He whined, tears streaming down his eyes. You laughed at his pathetic sounds, only going faster.

His grip on the sheets beneath him tightened, his knuckles going white as he cried out for you, for more.

The sheets were drenched with lube and sweat and, while Dave refused to believe it, cum. He was a puddle under you, shaking and sputtering.

You watched more strings of cum drip from his tip and figured enough was enough, he couldn't think straight, his vision was blurry, basically you'd left him in the same state he always left you in.

You pulled out of him and he rolled onto his side, body trembling. You moved to sit beside him and he moved his head onto your lap. "Feels good, doesn't it?" You asked, brushing some hair out of his face, wiping away his tears with your thumb.

"Fuck you." He mumbled, nuzzling into you.

"That’s your job.” He glared at you, with much love.

[kathlare]

distant glow

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Amid a snowy retreat in the French Alps with friends, Lando finds himself distracted by thoughts of Amelie, who's attending the premiere of her latest film in Mexico.

Wordcount: 1.0 k

Warnings: just fluff

full masterlist // request over here!

December 18th, 2024 - French Alpes, France

Lando adjusted his goggles as the icy wind whipped against his face, standing at the edge of the slope with Max, Pietra, Martin, and a couple of other friends. The trip to the Alps had been Max’s idea, a pre-Christmas getaway to decompress before the holidays. Normally, Lando loved the thrill of skiing—his competitive streak made him race down the slopes faster than anyone else. But today, his mind was somewhere far away, thousands of miles south, in Mexico.

Max, gliding effortlessly next to Pietra, was chatting animatedly with her, their laughter echoing through the crisp mountain air. Lando couldn’t help but notice how Max reached out to adjust Pietra’s scarf or how she leaned into him with ease, as if the whole world existed only for them.

It wasn’t that Lando was jealous, he was happy for his best mate, but watching them stirred an ache in his chest. He missed her.

He missed the way Amelie would tease him relentlessly for his shit Spanish, her fingers absentmindedly brushing his as they walked. He missed the softness in her voice when she called him "Lan" and the way her laugh made his chest tighten in the best possible way. Hell, he even missed the way she bossed him around when they were deciding where to eat.

And now, he couldn’t stop picturing her on that yellow carpet, dazzling in whatever gown she had picked for the Wicked premiere. He had seen her walk a dozen carpets before, but there was something different about this one. It wasn’t just a movie—it was her movie, her moment.

—Mate, you coming, or are you just gonna stand there looking moody?— Max called, breaking Lando out of his thoughts.

—I’ll meet you guys down there,— Lando replied, tugging his goggles off and waving them on. —I’m starving anyway.—

Max shot him a knowing look but didn’t push. Lando had been acting like this all week, and everyone in their little group knew why. They might not have said it outright, but the way they kept glancing at him every time someone mentioned Amelie was enough.

Back at the chalet, Lando collapsed onto the couch as Martin turned on the massive TV for their lunch break. A tray of steaming pasta and bread sat in front of them, but Lando barely touched it, his eyes glued to his phone.

—Are you watching that livestream?— Pietra asked, settling next to Max with a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

—Yeah,— Lando admitted, not even looking up. On the screen, Amelie stood outside the theater, beaming as she greeted fans and signed autographs. She was glowing in a floor-length, pale pink gown, her blonde hair styled in loose waves that reminded him of the day they’d spent at the beach back in August. The press cameras flashed relentlessly, capturing every inch of her. She looked like an actual goddess.

—Fucking hell,— Lando muttered, more to himself than anyone else. —She’s unreal.—

—She really is,— Max chimed in with a smirk. —Don’t tell me you’re getting all sappy again, mate.—

—Shut up,— Lando shot back, but there was no venom in his voice. —I can’t help it. Look at her!— He gestured at his phone like it explained everything.

—You’re so dramatic,— Pietra teased, laughing. —We get it, you’re in love.—

—Yeah, well,— Lando said, shrugging. —Wouldn’t you be if your girlfriend was Amelie fucking Dayman?— He tossed his phone onto the coffee table, slumping back against the cushions. —It’s just... I miss her, okay? We’ve been apart for, what, four days? And it feels like a goddamn eternity.—

Martin chuckled. —You two literally spent a month glued to each other. You’re worse than a clingy teenager.—

—Yeah, but still,— Lando argued, rubbing the back of his neck. —I hate being apart. And don’t even get me started on how busy she’s been. I barely saw her in the weeks leading up to this trip because of the press tour. It’s like we’re finally together, but there’s always something keeping us apart.—

—Yet you make it work,— Pietra said, her tone softer now.

—Yeah,— Lando admitted, a small smile tugging at his lips. —We do. Somehow, we always figure it out. She’s... she’s worth it, you know?—

Max leaned forward, smirking. —You’re so whipped, mate.—

—Yeah, I am,— Lando said, not even trying to deny it. —But she’s whipped for me too, so it’s fair.— He grinned, thinking about the way Amelie would melt whenever he called her "Ames" or kissed the top of her head when they cuddled.

—Seriously though,— he continued, his voice dropping to something more genuine, —we’ve come a long way since... you know, the first time we tried this.—

The room grew quieter. Everyone knew about their rocky history, the messy situationship that ended in heartbreak for both of them.

—But this time’s different,— Lando said, more to himself than anyone else. —We’ve grown up. We understand that we’ve got our own lives and schedules and friends. And yeah, it sucks sometimes... being apart like this, but I know we’re solid. She makes me feel like... like I’m enough, you know? Even when I’m halfway across the world.—

Pietra smiled at him, her expression warm. —That’s love, Lando.—

—Yeah,— he murmured, glancing back at the stream. Amelie was still on the yellow carpet, laughing at something Kit Connor had said. He couldn’t wait to tell her how breathtaking she looked, how proud he was of her.

And in just four days, he’d get to hold her again. December 22nd couldn’t come fast enough.

[strangersteddierthings]

Shovel Talk(s) Part 3

Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four

Steve wants to be self-sabotaging. He wants to give Eddie a reason to break up with him. To end this before Steve ends up hurting him. Yet he's also helplessly in love, so instead of being ten minutes late for their date, he's fifteen minutes early.

He forgot he was going to just honk the horn until Eddie appeared and only remembers he was going to do it after he's already knocked on the front door. Eddie answers, looking as beautiful as ever even though he wore that shirt yesterday, but the jeans are clean, and his hair is brushed. Steve does manage to hold himself back from opening the passenger door for Eddie like he usually does, instead sliding himself into the driver's seat.

Eddie does shoot him a curious glance but Steve's careful about not looking at him as he starts the car and heads towards the bowling alley.

Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle, and Robin are also at the bowling alley. It's not exactly a coincidence they run into them because Steve knew they would be here. (Sabotage was the goal. Turning their three-month-aversary into a group hangout might do the trick.) But Eddie likes bowling, and their friends, and also seems to be using the group atmosphere to hang off of Steve more than he would if they were bowling just the two of them.

And if Steve's being honest with himself, part of him knew that would happen, too. That Eddie wouldn't mind the group because their friends cover for them wordlessly. Eddie wraps his arms around Steve and suddenly Jonathan is standing between them and anyone who could see. Eddie leans in to give him a quick cheek kiss and Robin is at Steve's other side doing the same thing. Argyle and Nancy spread out across the seating, leaving barely enough room for Eddie and Steve to sit, so their close proximity looks forced rather than wanted.

And Steve's bad at not wanting Eddie. He finds himself reaching out and having to snatch his hands back. He plays hot and cold all night and it does have the desired effect. He can see Eddie's patience waning, can feel a shift in their dynamic and his stomach twists with shame.

He keeps conversation with Robin, and Jonathan, and Nancy, and Argyle. But not Eddie. He doesn't outright ignore Eddie, though. When Eddie talks to him, he answers but he doesn't initiate conversation. Uses as few words as possible to answer before rushing to take his turn.

He should apologize.

He can't say anything.

He's in love with Eddie, so Eddie has to leave him.

He's in love with Eddie, so Eddie leaving will ruin him forever.

Eddie should hate him, so this would be easier.

Eddie should love him, so this would be easier.

Steve's a goddamn mess all night, and no one calls him on it.

Why would they? They think he's going to hurt Eddie anyway.

-

"Did I... do something?" Eddie asks. Steve feels a little sick to his stomach as he puts the car in park in front of Eddie's house but doesn't turn the key. After tonight it's not likely he'll get invited in anyway.

"What?"

"You've been distant all day, dude," Eddie says and Steve can hear the frustration in his voice. He also notices that Eddie called him dude, which he hasn't done since their first date. "Distant for a while now, actually."

"Sorry. I didn't realize," Steve lies, staring straight ahead. The voice in his head keeps chanting 'just break up with me already' because Steve knows it needs to happen, but he can't do it. But also he's thinking 'tell me you love me so I know we're in this together' and also 'I want to love you but I'm scared'. His whole mind is a contradiction right now.

Eddie looks at him, face carefully neutral, "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Steve is quick to say, because it is true and he doesn't want Eddie to think this is his fault somehow. "You didn't do anything."

"So, is it something I haven't done?" Eddie asks.

"No." Yes. But also no. Tell me you want this as much as I do. Tell me you hate me.

Eddie looks down to his hands, which are fiddling with his rings. They sit in silence because Steve doesn't know what to say. After what feels like an eternity, Eddie must decide something because he nods to himself and says, "right." before he climbs out of the passenger seat and slams the door shut.

The slam sounds so loud, so clear, so final, that Steve feels something inside him crack, echoing the slam. He rips off his own seatbelt and climbs from his car quickly, the need to reach Eddie before he closes himself behind his front door suddenly very important, suddenly overriding any other thought he's had. Steve just knows that if Eddie gets his door closed, then Steve really will have proven everyone right.

And he doesn't want to.

He feels it in his bones that if Eddie makes it into his house, and gets his front door closed before Steve says anything, that it will be with the thought that Eddie somehow fucked up their relationship and Steve will not be able to live with himself if Eddie believes that.

"Eddie, wait!" Steve shouts as he rounds the front of his car, beelining for the door.

His shout works, because Eddie, hand clasped on the doorknob, twists to look over his shoulder instead of opening the door. Eddie doesn't hide the hurt on his face, or the pain in his voice, "What, Harrington?"

Steve doesn't know what he's going to say, hasn't planned for this. He had never wanted either of them to hurt in this relationship, not in a way they couldn't fix (he'd promised Wayne three months ago-), yet he let his mind take him down the road of self-destruction. Self-sabotage. He'd fucking planned to ruin their date. Eddie should leave him.

And yet.

Steve might feel he's not good enough, or nice enough, or changed as a person enough to deserve Eddie, but in the end, Steve thinks, realizes, it's not his decision if Eddie finds him deserving or not. That's on Eddie.

And now, seeing Eddie, who always looks beautiful but now looks hurt, Steve doesn't want to just give up because everyone he cares about thinks he's not good enough. He doesn't want to have ruined this. If he can just be open, and honest, then Eddie will at least hear him out. He's just got to say something true. He opens his mouth and- "I love you."

Eddie's hand drops from the doorknob as his whole body turns to face Steve. His eyes are wild and wide as he asks, "What?"

That wasn't what Steve had thought he would say, but now that it's out he doesn't want to pretend he didn't say it. But he's possibly also having some sort of manic episode because he just starts talking and can't stop. "I'm in love with you, Eddie, and it fucking scares me to death, because no one seems to think that I can, or that I deserve to, but I do and I want to. I've just been spiraling thinking about it and about how everyone thinks I'm just going to hurt you, because that's the last thing I want to do, ever. But then I just spent this entire night trying to make you hate me which just means that I am hurting you. And, also, if more than one person makes a point to like, bring it up to my face, that I'm just going to hurt you, there's got to be some truth to what they say, right? Multiple people aren't usually wrong and now I've proven them right anyway because I've been an asshole to you this whole day, whole week if I'm really honest, and I hate myself for that beca-"

Eddie shuts Steve up by grasping both his shoulders and shaking him like a ragdoll. Steve didn't even register that he'd left the porch and had walked up to him. "Stevie, Steve, shh. You gotta slow down, sweetheart. That's a lot to take in."

"Right. Right, sorry," Steve's voice sounds watery to his own ears, and also Eddie looks a little watery, which is odd and- oh. He's crying, he realizes, when one of Eddie's hands moves to swipe a tear from his cheek.

"Go inside, sweetheart," Eddie nudges him towards the door, "I'm going to turn off your car and I'll be right in."

Steve obeys because he's pretty good at following instructions. Unfortunately, it does mean he just stands anxiously in the entrance hall waiting for Eddie to come in behind him because the only instruction was 'go inside'. Steve's not even aware that he's worried Eddie might not follow until he comes back into view and a wave of relief washes over Steve.

Eddie leads him down the hall to his bedroom before making Steve take off his shoes and clamber into the bed. Eddie fusses and arranged them so that Eddie is sat up against the headboard and Steve is cuddled up between his legs, head tucked under Eddie's chin. Steve worms his hands behind Eddie's back to hug him, and Eddie wraps his arms around Steve to return the embrace.

"Stevie, I got to be honest, I thought you were wanting to break up with me today," Eddie says.

Steve tightens his hold just a bit, "No. And yes. But also never?"

"That makes no sense."

"The thought of breaking up... I'm not going to lie, Eddie, I have thought it. But not because it's what I want. It's because there were moments when I thought it was what would be best, for you."

"How the fuck do you reckon it would be 'best for me' to break up with me?" Eddie is rubbing soothing circles on Steve's back, so he doesn't think he's in too much trouble.

"I let... I just got into my head about things. Your uncle gave me the shovel talk, which yeah, okay, fair. He's basically your dad, he's supposed to be on the lookout for people who would hurt you. But then, he wasn't the only one. And no one straight up said I would, for sure, end up hurting you, but then I learned that no one had given you a shovel talk and I just- Fuck. This all sounds so stupid! I don't want someone to threaten you. That's not what this is about but it's just- it feels like- why doesn't anyone care that I might get hurt, too? And then everything spiraled."

"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie presses a kiss to the top of Steve's head. Steve doesn't deserve this comfort.

"I just- I found myself thinking that like, if I just broke my own heart first, by breaking up, then they wouldn't be right. But also like, they wouldn't be wrong, because breaking up would hurt you, too, and then they'd pick sides and they'd pick yours because they were right about me but also, they're wrong because you have the power to fuck me up, too. 'Cause I love you."

"That's the third time you've told me," Eddie says.

"You don't have to say it back," Steve is quick to say, "I just- Now that I've said it, I can't seem to stop but you don-"

"I'm in love with you, too, you know," Eddie whispers, cutting Steve off as one of Eddie's hands comes up to play with Steve's hair. That thing that cracked inside him early, the feeling that made Steve call out to Eddie, settles back together somewhere deep within him.

Eddie plays with his hair for a bit before he says, "It's super fucking shitty of our friends to put that on you. And I'm sorry for not noticing that you were hurting. If it helps, Robin has given me a shovel talk. Kinda. I think she also gave one to Nancy at the same time? But for like, past you." That gets a chuckle out of Steve. "And Erica threatened to slash my tires if I hurt you, not even a full two weeks ago. And I don't think she even means like a breakup hurt. I think if she learns about today, she'll slash my tires even though we talked it out. Or, will have talked it out, by the time she finds out. Which I hope she doesn't. Because she'll slash my tires."

Steve is a little amused at the end of Eddie's speech because Eddie does sound, just a little bit, afraid of Erica. He tilts his head up and presses a kiss to the underside of Eddie's jaw and then freezes, because he's not sure he should have. Not after how he's treated Eddie this past week, and today especially. But Eddie doesn't react like he's upset. His fingers still glide through Steve's hair and his other hand rests on Steve's back in a half embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Eds," Steve says, shoving his face into Eddie's neck. "About today, this whole week, for- for everything. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, sweetheart," Eddie whispers back, "I let myself think things of you, you know. Shit I know isn't true, and wouldn't be, because I was scared, too. That I'd fallen for you. I didn't let myself believe you'd love me back, so I thought some really awful things."

"Well, I acted on my thoughts, so you don't have to apologize."

"Yes, I do. And I accept your apology."

Steve huffs, breath warming his face along with Eddie's neck. "I don't think you did anything wrong, but I accept your apology, too."

They lay for a few moments more before Eddie's shoving softly at Steve, to get him to roll over, onto his side. He does, facing Eddie, and Eddie rolls onto his side to face him. Immediately Steve's hand seeks out Eddie's, he can't stand to not be touching him in some form right now. Steve slots their fingers together, and Eddie curls his fingers down to grip back. Steve brings their joined hands to his lips, placing a kiss on Eddie's knuckles before he says, "So, where do we do from here?"

"I don't know the where," Eddie gives him a soft smile, "but I do know that I want it to be together. So, I guess we just, go forward, together. With more talking. You have to let me know when you're hurting, babe. I can't help if I don't know."

"I know," Steve nods, "I know. And I'll try. I promise, I'll try my best but I don't- what if I can't?"

"I think you can," Eddie says. "You did, today, just now. And I guess, on nights we're really mad at each other, we go to bed mad but together. Same bed. Because I'll need the reassurance of you being here."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll do that," Steve says before pressing one more kiss to Eddie's knuckles, then letting their hands drop back to the bed. There's more talking to be done, Steve's sure. He wants to explain himself better, more thoroughly, but Eddie is content to let him lay here so Steve's going to take it for now. "Can I stay here tonight?"

"Yeah, sweetheart," Eddie says, soft smile on his face. "You work tomorrow?"

"No," Steve says, "why?"

"Redo date. Make it a whole day thing. Just us," Eddie explains with a shrug, "Not that the bowling wasn't fun. Just-"

"Yeah," Steve is quick to agree, both because he wants a redo, too, and because he doesn't want to hear the rest of Eddie's sentence. "How about we go to Indy for the day?"

"Sounds great. Now, let's get some PJs on and channel surf until we find something tolerable," Eddie leans in, giving Steve a quick kiss before rolling himself off the bed and beginning the search for pajamas. Steve's happy to watch him bend over the various piles of clothes around his room.

[jubileemon]

Orihime's Powers and Representation

Orihime's power in regards to her characterization. Orihime is an idealist. She exists in a very violent world, yet refuses to fight unless she's under really terrible pressure. She used to see Ichigo as her Prince Charming, her Knight in Shining Armor, until she realized that is simply wasn't the case. The girl was pretty much living in her own little fantasy world to cope with her HUGE troubles, which is why yanking her out of it and making her face a reality so stange to her own left her so distraught. So what do her powers do exactly? Reject reality.

Also in regards to Orihime, the reason why Loly and Menoly hate her even more after she uses her Reality Warper powers to bring them back to life. is more complicated than just being two ungrateful sadists. To start, Hollows/Arrancar/Espada as a whole are beings that are born when souls don't cross to Soul Society and stay in our world, becoming corrupted with supernatural energies. And here, two Arrancar girls (Hollows who have removed their mask and gained Shinigami-like powers) have witnessed how a lowly human has the power to undo death, pretty much messing with everything they know about their own existence. What is a crowning moment for Orihime, in the view of these two girls (and especially Loly, who had a better look at all of this than Menoly since she was horribly mutilated by Grimmjow yet she was not dead) is like catching view of an abomination, which explains the whole "she's a monster" deal.

Hollows, beings that are born from death, despair and fear, are being faced with a being who can literally rewrite reality so that events do not occur. Taken in this context, Orihime is less like an angel of mercy to these two and more like a God from their perspective. A being whose nature and abilities are so alien that they outright defy explanation. Considering this, its understandable that they would react less than pleasantly to what happened to them.

Further to the above point on Orihime's character in relation to her powers — there's a very specific reason why Orihime actually used to be useless on the battle field, and it's not any kind of limit on her power. It's been heavily alluded to that Orihime's power is pretty much limited by her own imagination. Naturally, when it comes to helping people, her healing powers can reverse pretty much anything. However, think about who Orihime is. She wouldn't hurt a fly if she could help it. She can take down random Hollows like that mook that was attacking Tatsuki in the school because it's monstrous in appearance, and they'll hurt more people if she doesn't attack. Place a humanoid enemy in front of her, and will take her a while to see that she should consider them an enemy, and she simply cannot attack them unless it's really needed. This is why Tsubaki's power will always be the most limited of her set.

Actually, about Tsubaki... think about the Shiten Koushun aka Shield of Four Heavens' Resistance. How is it formed? Via adding Tsubaki to the Three God Reflection Shield, thus making him turn a defensive barrier into an offensive weapon. Tsubaki is the weakest of the six Rikka spirits as well as the one who's less like her, personality wise; and the ones forming the Reflection Shield (Hinagiku, Lilly and Baigon) are relatively similar to her in character. This means that, if she wants to join the battle effectively, Orihime must accept to use Tsubaki yet not by simply sending him off towards the enemy (like many of her haters want her to), but by integrating him to the side that she dominates the most. Only by using Tsubaki in combination with Hinagiku, Lily, and Baigon can she draw his attack potential... mirroring how Orihime must now fight alongside Ichigo, Chad, and others if she wants to not stay behind. Also, when was the Shiten Koushun seen first? When she and Ichigo were attacked by Ginjou. Who was actually a humanoid enemy (more exactly the formwr Substitute Shinigami, but we didn't know that back then, and neither did she). This means that Orihime either is working on the issue mentioned above or has already gotten past behind it.

As for her Santen Kesshun (Three God Reflection Shield)? It too, is not the fragile thing it seems to be. It is specifically stated to Reject an attack and its consequences. It stands to perfectly good reason that it doesn't matter if the shield shatters instantly or not — another can always be thrown up. What matters is that whether the shield shatters or not, it genuinely DOES reject the attack that hits it.

Furthermore, it actually makes a ton of sense that it shatters so easily, too. Orihime's powers are a form of reality warping, after all, being what Aizen calls "the Rejection of Events"; she's essentially the Queen of Retcons. When her base shield blocks an attack, it also retcons that attack out of existence. But then, that raises the question... if there was never any attack to block, then why would she even make a shield in the first place? The reason it shatters isn't that it's fragile; it's the shield disappearing in a Puff of Logic because the attack it was meant to block suddenly never existed in the first place.

As for her Santen Kesshun (Three God Reflection Shield)? It too, is not the fragile thing it seems to be. It is specifically stated to Reject an attack and its consequences. It stands to perfectly good reason that it doesn't matter if the shield shatters instantly or not — another can always be thrown up. What matters is that whether the shield shatters or not, it genuinely DOES reject the attack that hits it.

Furthermore, it actually makes a ton of sense that it shatters so easily, too. Orihime's powers are a form of reality warping, after all, being what Aizen calls "the Rejection of Events"; she's essentially the Queen of Retcons. Logically, when her base shield blocks an attack, it also retcons that attack out of existence. But then, that raises the question... if there was never any attack to block, then why would she even make a shield in the first place? The reason it shatters isn't that it's fragile; it's the shield disappearing because the attack it was meant to block suddenly never existed in the first place.

[jadeddangel]

Maybe adamx reader x lute smut headcanons?

I think I already have one for it buttttttt I think I'll do this one too

Adam x reader x Lute

Smut headcannons for Lute and Adam

Definitely mean dom!Lute

Adam is pretty much just a cuck most of the time, or he likes to fuck your throat while lute is holding your back into an arch

Adam is big on Anal when he is fucking you though

WING PLAY MUST I SAY MORE

when it comes down to Adam he really likes when other people watch, or when you get caught

Toys, Lute buys vibrators that she can use on you even when you are both apart, so she can still have her fun until you both are together again

Both are up for expirementing and depending on the person they may be willing to bring another person in if it'll please you

Lute can be a bit silly at times when you guys are having sex but she'd mostly pretty mean

Lute really struggles to give up control, so if she does give yourself a pat on the back

Adam, on the other hand, doesn't care as long as his dick gets wet

Lutes favorite position would probably be something in front of a mirror

Lute lovessss fucking you from behind but also loves to see your.face so that's why she loves mirrors so much

Adam has a breeding kink and no one can tell me I'm wrong, that shit came pre-programmed in his brain

Both are very cuddly after your session, so it often ends up with you or Adam in the middle and wrapped in the other partners' wings

Lute really likes humiliation, she'll borderline be into pet play too

And before the "ewww doesn't that mean reader is a furry" stfu, disrespectfully

Lute is interested on pet play for the humiliation piece, seeing you underneath her on all fours in a collar and a leash just really gets her going

Lute probably steps on you (part of the humiliation)

Lute got you to bark for her once and never once let you live it down, even though she mildly liked having that much control over you

As much as Adam is a cuck, he does like to be included, the simple things like hearing you moan his name while Lute was fucking you within an inch of your life with her strap.

Adam asks you to spit on his hand to use it as lube for himself because he's "not fond" of how lube feels

Adam refuses to wear condoms, period. Insisting they wouldn't fit him anyways since he's too "perfect" for them

Lute has a crying kink, and only specifically during sex, she loves overstimulating you to the point of tears of pleasure just because of her

Adam and Lute may not interact much when your having sex, especially when they focus is on you

But they only do that cause they wanna avoid jealousy like how it is in Adam's harem because they would hate for you to feel left out

However, if you ask them both outright and say that you want to watch or want the attention on them, they'll really try to still keep it like you were included

When you're not there however Adam and Lute are at it like rabbits and can barely keep their hands off the other

After all, Lute was Adam's favorite in the harem for a reason

[writeforfandoms]

Bartender

Find my CoD masterlist

Everybody thanks @fan-of-encouragement​ for gently noodging me into writing this

You work as a bartender. The one night the 141 is in your bar happens to be the one night some jerk causes trouble. Price steps in to help.

Warnings: Swearing, flirting, brief violence, reader gets a bit harassed (called unwanted pet names), reader gets grabbed for like two seconds, Price is a gentleman until he’s not, this is just for fun. 

Word count: 1.6k

You only had an hour until closing, and two groups plus a couple individuals to keep track of. It was slow. The one group, four men and one woman, kept quiet and to themselves, speaking too softly for you to hear. They were nursing their drinks now. The other group, three men, were noisier, riling each other up over a replay of some game on the TV in the corner. 

You really wanted to just kick everybody out now and go home, but. You had to wait. 

One of the three men got up and swaggered up to the bar. The swagger did not suit him. 

"Three beers, sweetheart." The look he gave you made you want to reach for the baseball bat you kept under the counter. 

Instead you nodded, popping the tops off the beers and putting them in front of him. "On your tab?" 

"Sure thing, sweetheart." 

Your lips twitched in displeasure. You hated that. Hated when people called you stupid fucking nicknames: sweetheart, sugar, darling. None of them knew you, didn't have the right. But the last asshole you'd chewed out had called and complained to your boss. 

So.

Keeping your rage internal won. 

"Say," he drawled, leaning part-way across the counter to get closer to you. You leaned back. "What're you doing after this?"

"Thought I'd go samba," you quipped, because even your boss couldn't threaten you into not being a sarcastic little shit. "Maybe adopt a puppy." 

His eyes narrowed. But he backed off with a muttered, "Cunt," thrown over his shoulder. Like you'd really be offended by that. You shook your head and tossed the bottle caps. 

"Are they bothering you?" 

You looked up at the woman from the nice group and smiled. "Nah. I'm good." 

She gave you a quick once-over before she smiled, just a little quirk of her lips. "Water and two more beers," she requested. 

You glanced back at their table. "Same type?" You double checked, already reaching for clean glasses. At her nod, you filled both and then two more glasses with ice water. "Here you go." 

"Thanks." She picked up the beers, one of the others coming over to grab the waters. 

"Thought women liked those frou-frou drinks," the would-be swaggerer said, loud enough that the whole bar heard. Not that that was difficult - the TV was the primary source of noise. "Sure you want a beer, darling?"

Oh boy. That one was a real winner, clearly. 

You exchanged commiserative looks with the woman, who ignored the douchebag to take her beers to her table. 

Except the asshole took exception to that. He stood. "Don't ignore me, I asked you a question." 

"I wouldn't." The one who spoke up was wearing a black beanie, fingers still curled around his drink. His eyes were very blue when he lifted his gaze. 

The asshole took a moment to look at the other table before apparently deciding he wasn't that suicidal. Instead he stomped up to the bar, shoving his credit card across the bartop to you. "Close out my tab." 

You took the card silently and turned to the computer, closing out the tab. But apparently not fast enough - a hand slapped down on the bar, loud enough to startle you into jumping. 

"That's enough." The blue-eyed man sounded firm, on the border of annoyed. 

You turned in time to see the asshole square his shoulders, outright glaring now. “You don’t get to order me around.” 

“Your receipt,” you interrupted, probably more loudly than you needed to. “And your card.” You set both on the counter, watching as the asshole turned around again. 

“Took you long enough,” he grumbled, snatching both and shoving them in his pocket. “Not gonna say anything to them?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Why would I?”

“They’re bothering my buddies and I.” 

You raised one eyebrow, unimpressed. “If anything, you’re disturbing them. Your buddies need to settle up their tabs.” 

Faster than you expected from a man clearly on the edge of being drunk, his hand whipped out and grabbed your wrist, hard enough that you winced. 

“Don’t be rude, sweetheart,” he growled, yanking on your wrist. Your jaw clenched tight to keep your pain to yourself. 

You didn’t even get a chance to respond (or to pull out your baseball bat). The man in the beanie was suddenly just there, grabbing the asshole by the back of the jacket and bodily jerking him away from you. The asshole went down hard, his buddies jumped to their feet, and the man in the beanie… grinned? 

“You alright?” It was the woman, leaning back against the bar next to you, so she was not impeding your view. 

“Yeah,” you answered, rubbing your wrist absently. “You’re, uh. Not worried about your friend?” 

“Price? Nah.” She grinned suddenly. “He knows when to stop.” 

You blinked as one of the assholes went sprawling on his face from a well-timed kick. Price was single-handedly decimating all three of the assholes. Price’s friends had formed a loose circle, also watching and apparently making sure the assholes didn’t escape.

You should really not find this so entertaining. But you did. 

“Oh that’s gonna hurt tomorrow,” you murmured with a mean grin. 

“More than just tomorrow,” the woman agreed with you, smirking.

“You said his name is Price?” You glanced at your new companion, curious.

“Mmhm.” Sharp eyes found yours, assessing. You smiled. 

“He was drinking whiskey, yeah?” 

“He was.” Amusement shone in her eyes again as you grabbed a fresh napkin and your sharpie, scribbling a quick note and your number before pouring out a fresh drink for Price. 

The bang of the door made you look, and you found the couple regulars gone, headed out. You didn’t blame them. The asshole who’d already paid had been left slumped on the floor, groaning, blood trickling from his nose. His two buddies were both being hauled up to the bar. 

“There ye are!” This one had a mohawk and a thick accent, and he winked at you as he cozied up to the bar next to the woman, one of the assholes well in hand. “Now, believe ye need t’pay yer tab, aye?” 

The asshole was quick to toss cash on the bartop, which you were quick to whisk away. “Perfect change,” you said, a little smug. (It was only a little fib, and you figured the extra five bucks were the cleaning fee. Because you would definitely have to clean that blood off the floor.) 

The other asshole was simply set in front of you by a big man with a black face mask on. He gave you a short nod and jostled the other guy, who also tossed cash at you. 

“Right, you’re good to go.” You tucked the money away, probably a little more gleeful than you should have been. But. Look. Long nights working the bar by yourself had given you a good appreciation for the occasional bar fight. Especially ones that didn’t involve any property damage. 

The three assholes scampered. Leaving you with the victorious party. 

“Well, that was fun,” you quipped, grabbing the mop from its spot. “Thanks for not breaking anything, by the way.” You plucked up the glass and the napkin and set them in front of Price with a wink before moving on to clean up. 

“We’ll get out of your hair,” the woman said, already ushering two of the others out ahead of her. 

“No rush,” you said, but the third was already following with a cheeky grin. 

Leaving you alone in the bar with Price. 

“Need anything for your knuckles?” you asked, because you couldn’t not. 

“No. Thank you.” He watched you put the mop away again and start gathering up all the glasses to be washed, taking a deliberate sip from his drink. The napkin, you noticed, was nowhere in sight. Either he’d tossed it, or he’d tucked it away.

You knew which option you preferred. 

“Thanks for handling them.” You glanced back at him as you started on the dishes. 

“It was nothing.” He shrugged off the thanks, looking down into his drink for a few moments. “Decided to close up?”

“Might as well,” you said with a nod. “Less than an hour until actual closing, and all my customers are gone.” You grinned. “I’m not sad about that.” 

“Mm.” He tipped his head, walking slowly up to the bar. He tipped his glass back, finishing his whiskey in one swallow. “And what are you doing afterwards?” 

You smiled slowly, mischievous and pleased. “Thought I’d do a little dancing.” 

“Got a partner in mind?” He set the glass down, the blue of his eyes bright and intent. 

“Depends. You offering?” 

His smile was slow to come but very nice to look at. “I am.”

“Good.” You tipped your head, letting yourself give him a more thorough once-over. Broad shoulders, trim waist. Definitely strong. “I’ll be done sooner if you sweep.”

He snorted softly but nodded. His hand closed over yours on the broom as you handed it over and he leaned in close to murmur, “Hope you still have enough energy to keep up with me.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about me.” You tipped your head in almost-challenge, grinning. “You just worry about the floor.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he murmured, low and rumbly. You watched him turn away to start sweeping. 

Oh yeah, you were definitely skipping a couple things to get out of here faster.