#and one of them was the person waiting for a ride at the airport lol
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dredshirtroberts · 2 years ago
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So. My tire exploded this morning on the highway. Scared the bejesus out of me. I'm fine, I had a fullsize in the trunk and my meta came and saved me and followed me home before we went to go pick up our partner from the airport.
this happened at like. 5 in the morning. it's currently winging in on 2am. (don't worry, i had about 6 hours of sleep in the interim)
I have done my level best to not apologize for "breaking my car".
It occurs to me that there are some traumas that are going to be harder to shake the after affects of because of the (thankful) rarity of the trigger point coming up.
I was in a car accident when I was 18-19 (I think i'd just turned 19, it was spring semester finals so it was like May probably). Just me, just my car. And some trees. I've talked about it in more detail a few times. It was scary, the minivan was totaled, the airbags went off and my jaw got jammed about 2 months before my wisdom teeth surgery was scheduled. it was a lot.
I wore the shadows of those bruises for half a year. I wear the terror of the incident as it was happening every time i drive on rough roads (fuck you google maps - yes it's faster but also *what the fuck*).
I wear the devastation of my parents being more upset that I totaled the minivan than relieved that I was alive every fucking day. And moreso when I have messed something up.
I'd gotten in trouble for breaking things before - i'm unlearning the label of "destructive" and the designation of "unobservant" and "careless" very slowly. This was the first time it was made absolutely clear to me that my life was worth less to my parents than a 1998 dodge grand caravan with no working a/c in 2011 (which, by the way, was less than the tow fee to get it off the road and to a junkyard, let alone the cost of fixing what had been damaged in the wreck).
I was then accused of lying about how the accident happened for 10 years. Apparently 1 decade is the length of time i need to keep my story straight in order to be believed about things.
I still sometimes get shit about it from my family, by the way. Not as often anymore, not since they decided to believe that I really did just glance down to make sure the bug that had flown in through the window and landed in my lap wasn't going to sting me. One of the absolute most terrifying days of my life is a joke. Because I am worth less to them than a 12 year old minivan. The only reason a bug came through the window, by the way, is because of the lack of a/c. If my parents had forked over the cash to get that fixed properly, they wouldn't have been down a minivan.
(a minivan my *sister* is upset with me for totaling because she claims it was meant to be *hers*, according to her and backed up by my parents. why i was the only one who ever drove it at that point, i don't know. Make it make sense. You can't.)
it's been....it's been 12 years damn. it's been 12 years and they still get mad at me for the fact that the van is gone. None of them ever, in the times this is brought up, ever mentions that they're glad I wasn't more injured, that I didn't die.
because i'm not worth more than whatever a 1998 dodge grand caravan with no a/c was in 2011 to them.
And now I apologize for the fact that things completely outside of my control happen and items break from overuse because clearly it's my fault and i'm terrified i'll learn i was worth even less than that.
God I hate my family....
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dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd · 3 months ago
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Crack A Smile and Cut Your Mouth
Ledger!Joker Origin Story
Chapter Eight - Life's Full of Surprises
Warnings: Character death, angst
Chapter Summary: Jack comes home and things are not at all how he imagined they'd be.
Author's Note: I'm gonna go ahead and apologize in advance 😅 I did not wanna have to kill off this person but it's character development for Jack. He's been through so much already I know, but you have to remember that it had to be a lot for him to eventually snap the way he does. You don't just randomly wake up one day and decide to become a mass murderer.
No I didn't use Heaven Beside You as the song inspiration because someone dies, it's deeper than that lol. I've also had this reoccurring scene in my head where Jack is driving down the road listening to the song at full blast. At this point he's broken from war and now this has happened. He's angry and hurting, mad at the world. This song just seemed fitting. Also I love Alice In Chains <3
Taglist: @alittlesmartcookie @furisodespirit
If you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know! <3
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Jack walked through the bustling crowd of people with his head down and his hands in his pockets. He’d just got off a flight from Fort Benning. After he left Afghanistan, he went back there to finalize some things and officially be discharged.
The airport was not far from his hometown, less than thirty minutes away. Jack’s plan was to call the house and have somebody come pick him up. He knew it would most likely be his mother. 
He went over to the wall of pay phones and fished out a quarter from his pocket to put in the slot. He dialed his home phone number and waited. There was no answer. He tried a second time but still nothing. 
Okay… Scott’s probably at work and Mom must be out somewhere. Weird… I won’t bother with them then. 
He was unsure how he was going to get home now unless he rented a car. Then he remembered Mike. According to his mom during their last phone call, Mike was still going strong. Surely he wouldn’t mind taking him home.
Jack pulled a small notebook filled with contacts and another quarter out of his pocket and searched for Mike’s number. He was so glad he carried this with him. He wouldn’t be able to remember the number from all those years ago if he didn’t. The phone rang for a few moments and then someone picked up. 
“Hello?” A gruff voice said on the other end.
“Mike? This is Jack.”
“Hey! How ya doing buddy? Haven’t heard from you in a while.” 
“I’m alright I guess. Listen, I’m at the airport right now. It’s the one near Fairfield. I can’t get a hold of anyone at home and I was wondering if you could come give me a ride. I’ll be out front near the parking lot.”
“Of course. Give me about 20 minutes and I’ll be there.”
“Okay. Thanks Mike.”
Relieved that he had a way home now, Jack grabbed his stuff and headed towards the front. He sat down on a bench outside the building and watched the parking lot, bouncing his leg anxiously. He didn’t know why but since the plane landed he felt super jittery. He wasn’t sure if it was all the crowds of people making him uneasy or the thought of being home again.
Some time later he saw Mike’s car pull into a space. The short and stocky man climbed out and scanned the area for Jack. He spotted him and walked towards the bench, smiling. When he got there, he pulled Jack into a bear hug.
“Jeez, you’ve really filled out. How tall are you now?” He exclaimed as they walked to the car.
Jack laughed. “Good to see you too, Mike.”
He laid his duffel in the floorboard and climbed inside as Mike started the car and put it in gear. 
“So how’s army life been?” Mike asked. 
Jack shrugged. “Eh, hot and bloody. But that’s the desert for you.”
“I, uh, couldn’t help but notice the scar on your face. What happened?”
“A surprise attack. The humvee I was in exploded. I managed to make it out but a piece of shrapnel hit me.” Jack explained, shifting uncomfortably. 
“Oh. That must’ve been really bad. So are you home for good or are you just visiting?”
“I’m back for good now. I got discharged.”
“Why?”
“They said trauma reasons. I had a weird episode while I was over there. I think I could’ve made it a little longer but I guess they didn’t want to chance me having something like that while we were out on a mission. It could cause problems. I didn’t complain. I wanted to go home anyway and this was an opportunity to leave.” 
“Oh okay. Wow. Are you okay now?” 
“I don’t really know to be honest. I haven’t had anything happen lately but it could always come back. That kind of stuff is unpredictable.”
Mike grunted in agreement and focused on the road. Jack gazed out the window as they entered town and memories came flooding back to him. He was home alright. The jitteriness increased by the second as they got closer and closer to his house.
“How is my Mom?” Jack asked.
Mike slowed down drastically and nearly stopped in the middle of the road. He looked at him with a confused expression and seemed to be contemplating what he was going to say next. Now Jack was confused. Did he miss something?
“Don’t you know what happened?” Mike gasped.
Jack’s heart sank. “What? Is something wrong? Is she okay?” 
Mike sighed. “I think it’s best if you go home and find out. It’s not my place to tell you.”
“Um, okay… Is it bad?” 
“You’ll find out soon enough. I’m…I’m sorry, Jack. I thought you knew.”
Jack’s head was spinning. Oh God. No…
His main worry while he was away had come true. Something happened to his mother and he wasn’t there to help her. He sincerely hoped she was okay.
Mike turned down Jack’s street and pulled up to the curb in front of his childhood home. Jack grabbed his bag and turned to Mike.
“Um, thanks for the ride. I should go.”
Mike nodded grimly. Jack opened the car door and stepped out on wobbly legs. He felt sick to his stomach as he approached the house. 
He reached the top of the steps and took a deep breath. There was no telling what he’d find inside. He turned to Mike and nodded. Mike gave a thumbs up and drove away.
Jack set the duffel bag down on the porch and knocked on the front door, steeling himself.
“What? Who’s showing up here at this time of the morning? Better not be a fuckin’ cop!” A familiar drunken voice slurred.
Jack inwardly groaned. Here we go…
His father opened the door and started to throw something but hesitated when he saw his son.
“Jack? That you?”
“Yes.” Jack said calmly.
Scott tilted his head and stared at Jack, particularly his injured cheek.
“What the hell happened to your face?”
Jack looked down. “Shrapnel.”
Scott chuckled darkly. “At least you didn’t die. I was expecting as much.”
Jack narrowed his eyes. Forcing himself to keep it together, he ignored the comment and changed the subject. 
“Where’s Mom?” 
“Oh that bitch? Didn’t ya hear? She’s dead.”
Jack stood there a moment, staring back at the drunk in shock. He was unsure if he heard him correctly. 
“What?” He demanded.
“One night several months back we got into a fight. Then she hopped in the car and sped off from here. I had no idea where she was goin’. It was raining and she must’ve been too upset to drive because she crashed into an embankment and it killed her.” 
Jack felt tears form in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. He would not let his father see him cry.
“You sick fuck! You’re lying!” 
“I’m not lying, Jackie. That’s what happened. Go look at the cemetery. She’s there.”
Jack wanted to hit him so bad. Why was he being so casual about this? He shoved Scott out of the way and stepped inside. The house was a wreck and smelled strongly of booze and weed. Dishes were piled in the sink and trash littered the counter and the floor. Maybe his mother really was gone. He refused to believe it.
“That’s not what happened! Where is she?” 
“What part of ‘she’s dead’ don’t you understand? Did you hit your head too hard out there or something?” 
Jack grabbed Scott up by his shirt collar, slamming him against the wall.
“You did this to her! Don’t tell me it was just a fight. You probably beat her until she bled. She wouldn’t’ve had to drive off like that if you’d just left her alone. You fucking piece of shit!” Jack screamed.
“Oh, look atcha all riled up. You think you’re some tough soldier guy now? You’re still the same weak little boy you were when you left.” Scott taunted.
Jack lost control and punched him in the face. Scott staggered backwards and tried to counter but lost his balance and fell over. Jack shook his head. This was pathetic. He could’ve really hurt him if he wanted to but he decided against it. This asshole wasn’t worth it.
“You…get out of my goddamn house. Go! Pack the shit in your room and leave. Take that black pick-up with you. I’m getting tired of looking at it.” Scott shouted from the floor.
“Fine. I wasn’t planning on staying anyway.” Jack muttered as he walked towards his old bedroom. 
He slammed the door shut as he entered and sighed. The tears came back again and this time they were harder to keep down. The realization hit him like a brick wall. His mother was dead. He didn’t even get a proper goodbye.
Jack ran his fingers through his hair and forced himself to focus on the task at hand. He needed to pack his things and get out. Quickly. If he stayed longer than necessary Scott might go off again. He did not have the energy to deal with that a second time.
His room was the same way it was when he left, except the dust and the cobwebs on the ceiling. The posters of his favorite bands were still on the walls. His drawings and sketchbooks were still there. His pocket knife was still on his nightstand. His bed was still made up and his clothes were still in his dresser and hanging up in the closet.
Before he got to work, Jack looked for more comfortable clothes to change into. He settled on a dark brown t-shirt and jeans. He gained a lot of muscle mass and grew a few inches taller while he was gone so it was hard to find clothes that fit well. 
After he got dressed, he went through his closet and his dresser and put his clothes in some cardboard boxes he found. He left the clothes he didn’t want or knew for sure he couldn’t wear. He also packed his music, his sketchbooks, his journals, his pocket knife, his skateboard, a few photos he had, and other useful things like a flashlight. He had no clue where he would go from here and what he might need.
He moved the boxes of stuff out into the hall. Double checking himself, he went through everything again to make sure he didn’t leave anything behind. Seeing that he was good, he stacked the boxes and carried them out to the truck, putting them in the passenger seat.
After a few trips, Jack hauled the last of his stuff towards the door. As he started to leave, he glanced over at Scott one last time. He was downing a beer and eating potato chips like an absolute slob. He didn't even look up. He couldn’t be bothered to at least say goodbye to his son. 
So why should I? Fuck him. Jack thought angrily.
He scooped up his things and flung the door open. A rage that Jack didn’t fully know the reason behind swept over him. He darted out to the carport where his truck was, not even bothering to close the door. He tossed the box inside as he climbed in the driver’s seat and sped out of the driveway. 
He was getting the hell out of here but first he actually listened to his father for a change and went to the cemetery to find his mama. 
The cemetery was less than 10 minutes away from the house and near a small church, which Jacqueline attended often. Jack used to go with her a lot, especially when he was little. He never fully agreed with or understood the Christian faith. He guessed there was some kind of higher power out there but he wasn’t really sure what. He only went with his mom when he was a teenager because it made her happy. 
Jack parked at the church and walked to the graveyard. The rusty gate made a screeching noise as he opened it. He trekked solemnly through the grass and scanned the rows of headstones for his mother’s name. 
Eventually he found her by a willow tree in the back corner. Wildflowers grew in abundance at the base of the tree and along the fenceline that surrounded the cemetery. Jack picked a handful of the blue and purple ones, knelt down by Jacqueline’s grave, and laid them in front of the headstone. He read the engraving and sighed as his suspicion was confirmed. 
Jacqueline died a few months into his third deployment. He understood why he didn’t find out at first because he was away from any US bases in Afghanistan where communications were. But when he came back to base after they were attacked, why didn’t he find out then? Maybe things were so hectic it was the last thing on people’s mind but still. He should’ve found out a long time ago.
Tears welled up in his eyes again and finally he let them fall. His poor mama didn’t deserve to suffer like she did and die so horrifically. He could only hope she went quickly and painlessly but he would never know for sure.
“I’m so sorry, Mama. I should’ve been here.” Jack sobbed.
He rested his head against the gravestone and just let himself openly weep for a bit. It had been a while since he had a good cry. He was already dealing with a lot. Trauma from the war, the hideous scar on his face, and now this. It was starting to feel like his life was slowly falling apart. 
Jack kissed his hand and then touched the gravestone. “Bye Mama. I love you. Always.”
Composing himself, he wiped his eyes before he stood up and walked back to the truck. He pulled out of the parking lot and started back down the road with no absolutely no idea where he was going or what the plan was. 
One thing was clear. He had to get out of here. This town held too many bad memories. If he was going to move on and get better, he needed to start over completely. The highway seemed like the best option right now. He’d take it until he figured out what to do. It wasn’t a very strong plan but it worked for now.
Jack finally hit the main road, leaving the small town in the dust. He was going 10 miles over the speed limit but he could care less. He was mad. This was not fair.
“Stupid bastard! Can’t even spare the decency to take her death seriously. I mean, what did I expect, but still! And I didn’t find out until now?! Almost three months later? No one stopped to think hey maybe we should tell her son! Oh no, he’s overseas, we shouldn’t bother him with that. That’s kinda something I need to fucking know!” Jack vented to the air. 
He reached down and grabbed his CDs from the floor, picked one, and inserted it into the truck’s CD player. While in the army he couldn’t enjoy music as much as he used to. The opening guitar riff on his favorite album as loud as he could stand it was so refreshing. It helped him to calm down a bit. He’d crash if he kept raging like this. 
Jack was furious at Scott for treating him and his mother like shit for so many years and being indirectly responsible for her death. And then to top it off, being completely careless and unapologetic about the whole situation. 
He was also angry with himself for not checking up enough back home. But what could he do thousands of miles away? He just had to accept that there was nothing he could have done about it. That devastated him.
Jack rolled down the window slightly to let some fresh air in, the wind blowing in his face. He belted out the lyrics of the next track as it came on and got lost in the music to let out his rage. 
He didn’t understand why all of this was happening to him. He was only 24 and he already had more problems than most people twice his age. Maybe this fresh start would be good for him. Being away from everything that caused him so much pain would be the best way to heal.
A few miles down the road, a gas station popped up out of the monotony of fields and trees in the middle of nowhere. Jack glanced at his fuel gauge. It was halfway to empty. He decided it would be a good idea to stop. There probably wouldn’t be another place to fill up for miles. So he parked beside a pump and went inside the store. 
“I need 10 gallons on pump 2 and a pack of Marlboro reds.” He told the woman at the counter.
The cashier grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the shelf and handed it to him. She rang up the total and told him the amount. As he dug some money out of his pocket and paid the cashier, Jack saw a flyer on the wall promoting Gotham City. It sparked a flicker of interest.
“Pfft. Nothing there but city scum and rich assholes.” He mumbled to himself as he left the store, dismissing the idea. 
After he filled up his gas tank, he lit a cigarette and started the truck, continuing down the road. At this point he was about an hour away from home. Aside from the military, he had only traveled outside his hometown a few times and not very far. From here on he didn’t know what was ahead. He could only read the road signs and glance at his watch to see how much time had passed.
Jack groaned as he passed yet another billboard advertising Gotham. This had to be the fourth one since he left the gas station. It was like it was trying to tell him something. But he did not want Gotham to be his only option just because he didn’t know what else to do at the moment. 
He’d heard many things about the city growing up. Some (usually people trying to get students to apply for Gotham University) said it was full of exciting opportunities and new experiences. Jack knew that was probably only true if you were wealthy or smart. 
On the other hand he mainly heard it was crime ridden and dismal, full of corrupt cops and politicians, and just simply trashy. Jack didn’t know if he could handle city life, especially since he was still adjusting to being a civilian again.
He passed another sign and threw his hands up in frustration. He couldn’t give up this easily but he needed to figure this out pretty soon. Currently he had no place to go and he didn’t like the idea of being homeless for too long. 
He had to look at the pros here. Renting a small apartment would be much easier than paying for a whole house in an obscure town and then there was the question of finding a house to begin with. If he went to Gotham, he could have a quiet life in an apartment all to himself. To him that seemed to be the best atmosphere for him to deal with all the trauma and grief. 
“Where else am I gonna go? I’m not staying back home in that God forsaken place and I can’t just live in the middle of nowhere. Homeless… Ugh. Fine. If there’s nothing vacant and if it’s too expensive, then I’ll find somewhere else. This will give me a chance to start over.” Jack told himself as if to solidify his decision.
So after much debate with himself, Jack began the three hour drive to Gotham City with nothing to go by but signs and an old map he found in his glove compartment. It was getting late in the afternoon and with everything going on he was feeling exhausted and super drained. He had to smoke another cigarette and keep some music on just to stay awake and alert.
He also hadn’t eaten anything all day so hungry was an understatement. He stopped at another gas station along the way and bought a deli sandwich and some Goldfish to snack on. 
Finally after a long, tiring journey up the interstate, Jack saw Gotham City’s skyline poke out over the horizon. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was still incredibly nervous about this but at least the driving part was over. 
As he crossed the bridge into the city, he marveled at how big everything was. The largest city he’d ever been in was Atlanta when he was stationed at Fort Benning and that was just passing through. 
Despite his anxiety, he was really looking forward to this new chapter. He was ready to move on with his life. He left his abusive homelife and got out of the military. Now it was time to focus on actual adult life. Becoming an adult while in the army did him no favors. It actually detached him further from everyone else.
This was going to be a major adjustment. That was for sure.
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wrens-versus-the-world · 11 months ago
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Intertwined With the Inhuman
Hehe :D Heres the first chapter!
Cross posted on wattpad under Dontjudgemepels
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chapter one: and so it begins
(next chapter: 2)
as I looked at the letter for the fifth time today, I still couldn't believe it.
I, Y/n L/n, got a free ticket to japan and a free ticket back as well. I am so happy that I kept entering into those raffles!
I packed up my bags and prepared every thing that I may need while in japan. Another thing that I'm happy about is that, since I kept entering into the raffles I have quite a lot of yen, as well as a free hotel room and some free- non- expiring tickets to various events, which makes my life as a college student extremely easy, and my summer all the more fun!
I texted my group chat:
three best friends in a room:
depression (jerry), Cat lover(you), and smart one (cherry (cher for short))
Cat lover:
I'm so excited, but I'm also sad, since I won't see y'all and I cant afford to pay for the out of county wifi. D:
Smart one:
Well, that part sucks but japan is a safe country, and plus It'll be a good way to relax after the school year. those finals were rough
Depression:
thats for sure, those finals fucked me up, I didn't sleep for four days to study and then right after them I slept for two and a half days straight!
Smart one:
...
Jerry that's not safe.
anyways...
Y/n take lots of pictures, get us souvenirs and have fun! that's the best thing you can do okay! And if you ever feel unsafe just call the cops on a public phone, okay?
Cat lover:
see this is why you're my smart friend, And I'll try to keep that in mind... Anyways, I have a flight early in the morning, love y'all I'll try to take lots of pictures and get you gifts and food lol! ttyl
depression:
...
I thought i was your smart friend too...
Cat lover:
You are!!
depression:
yea sure, anyway, have fun loser, we'll miss you
smart one:
...
cat lover:
...
depression:
?
cat lover:
awww you'll miss me :D
*depression has logged off*
cat lover:
pft...
Smart one:
ignore him, he's right tho, we will indeed miss you! so you'd better have enough fun for all of us! love you, and get to bed
*Smart one has logged off*
I turned my phone off smiling to myself, my friends are so great!
Time skip: the next day (3: 30am)
I ran around the house making sure I had everything, seeing that I did, I called my uber and let them know to pick me up.
I walked out the door, and brought my suitcases out with me, and sat at the curb to wait.
while I waited I decided to play some honkai star rail, since I wouldn't be able to play it in japan (no wifi and all)...
the sound of a car pulling up brought be back to reality, and a girl with rich dark skip stepped out, "are you, Y/n, the cat lover?" she asked.
"yes, are you Trina...?" I asked unsure.
"yes! yes I am, okay hop in, let me help you with your bags." she beamed.
the ride to the airport was nice, the time flew by as I talked with trina, she was a really nice person. As we talked I found out that she also played star rail and we bonded over that, at the end of the ride we made sure to exchange ids (in game).
I made my way into the airport after saying goodbye to trina.
After checking in, checking my bags, and going through security I went to sit at my gate (for the flight).
Time skip: In japan
the voice of the flight attendant woke me up:
"Welcome to japan, and thanks for flying with our airlines!"
and she said that i looked out the window, to see the airport in japan, it was quite something (especially knowing i went across the globe to come here).
"we will now begin un-boarding."
Time skip: at the hotel:
the hotel was beautiful, the pictures did it no justice. The hotel was supposed to be a more modern twist on a traditional japanese design.
There was a closet, a bathroom and plenty of other things in the suite.
I unpacked some into the room, putting my clothes into the closet, my toiletries into the bathroom, and organizing everything else.
after I was settled in and had showered I looked at my To-Do list
1- go to a shrine
'seems simple enough' I thought to myself as I changed into a modest outfit, and grabbed the map, smoothly making my way out the door.
Saying goodbye to the staff as I left and letting them know that I'd be out. (Y/n speaking no japanese the staff thankfully speak english too)
the staff were even nice enough to point me in the direction of the shrine that I wanted to go to.
thanking them, I ran out the door, eager to get there! I made my way down the roads following their directions.
after a while, I found myself lost.
"that's okay I have my phone, Gps is good for this." I said to myself as I pulled my phone out.
"no wifi"
"...l-I forgot about that." I said as I read the error message that showed up as I tried to use the gps app.
as I was cursing my luck a blue haired male bumped into me causing me to drop my phone.
"Sorry miss, here let me get it for you" he said as he bent down and grabbed my phone. handing it to me when he stood back up.
"oh don't worry about it, thanks." I responded
'he's so nice'
I looked up at him to meet his eyes only to be met with a mask covering them.
"say, sir, I'm lost do you mind giving me directions to the shrine." I asked, inwardly hoping that I wasn't bothering him.
"Why of course." he said as he continued to give me the directions
"Thank you so much" I said as he finished, " I really owe you one-"
I was about to offer to buy him coffee but I was interrupted by the shout of a mad in a black coat and glasses, with black hair.
"Dottore! we're going to be late." he shouted
'oh'
"I'll let you get going, sorry to take up so much of your time, thanks again." I said to him as I made my way to the shrine, finding it much easier now that i had clearer directions.
Time skip: at the shrine
I got a fortune slip, and some pictures for my friends. and on the way to the shrine I happened to see a traditional dango stand... so I had to get some
it was very good, Jerry would be very jealous.
The sun started to set, so I finished up my time at the shrine, concluding it by ringing the bell three times and praying.
time skip: at the hotel
It was so fun, as I came back into the suite room I set down my shoes and got ready for a shower, where I washed up for bed.
after the shower I put some of the things I got for my friends into my empty suitcase, before getting into the bed.
Sighing contently, I turned to the lamp next to me and turned it off. trying to get comfortable in the bed (you're wearing a robe to sleep in btw).
as I let my eyes wonder I was met with some lifeless blue eyes.
a small 'ah' left my lips as I shot up from the covers.
the eyes just stayed there, neither of use made an attempt to move.
"wh- what do you want?" I questioned quietly, almost a whisper.
as I said that the man began to move towards me , soon the bed dipped as he crawled towards me. we were face to face, I began to lean away from him, my body leaning into the mattress as his towered over me and leaned in closer.
if we had been lovers the position would have been romantic, but I had never seen this man.
I soon had no where to lean now and he was awfully close to my face. I turned my head away from him, which in turn gave him access to my neck, to which he buried his nose into, and he seemed to be swelling me.
"you smell so good" the ginger haired male said in a deep voice as he attempted to bury his head further into my next, where my neck met my collar bone.
when i suddenly felt something wet on my neck i reflexively pushed him, causing our eyes to meet once more.
"you're quite the interesting human, I wonder." he said as I shook slightly
"who-"
"why do you smell like dottore?" the ginger growled
at the name of the man I'd seen earlier I relaxed some, although i'm not sure why.
"huh, are you perhaps in some sort of relationship with that man?" he asked his voice laced with venom as he mentioned him. "Your body relaxed when I said his name."
I wanted to reply, I just couldn't find my voice.
'who was this man?'
"childe I do suggest you don't go marking that which isn't yours." a deep voice interrupted.
the two of us turned our attention to a grey older man, who was illuminated by the moon light.
the man's above me, childe, obliged and got off of me, which allowed me to sit up and scoot away.
looking at the grey older man once more, I noticed that he had some sort of mask covering half of his face. and I also noticed his eye and how it seemed to glow.
I gazed back to childe and noticed how he looked like dog following its master's rules.
"I do apologize about his behavior, it is almost the full moon and he must not have been able to control himself." the older man said.
I opened my mouth to speak, but ultimately didnt know how to respond, " Uh, I suppose it should be okay... as long as it doesn't happen again..." I said, unsure the entire time.
suddenly I saw a flash of blue and heard a thud.
childe was on the ground four feet from the bed, i suddenly felt two arms wrapping themselves around me, I looked around and I couldn't tell who's arms they were.
childe was on the ground and the older man's was still standing.
the person behind me began to lean down to where my neck met my collar bone.
"it's okay, it's just me" Dottores voice whispered against my skin and he loosened his grip on my waist, allowing me to turn around to see him.
In my fear ridden state I clung to him, my arms wrapped around his neck, and in turn his arms tightened around my waist.
"I'm sorry" I whispered to him, so quietly, that he almost didn't catch it.
he rubbed his hand on the small of my back and glared at childe, and said, "I don't know why you're apologizing, but if anyone should apologize it should be me."
His sudden confession caused me to look up at him, only for him to lean down into my exposed neck (the robe was now slightly disheveled now thanks to childe) and bit down, causing me to gasp in surprise.
a deep sense of sleep soon took over me, as I began to hear dottore gulp , and my vision faded in and out, before faded to black. 
A/n:
>:D 
How is everyone liking it so far? 
also, im glad people here (tumblr) are enjoying this far more than the people on wattpad (which is a little surprising to me, but anyways.)
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opinion on trains?
I love train travel for personal reasons, but my visceral opinion on trains is that they're a "second-best" mode of transit. I haven't taken a plane since 2005 and am (to my surprise) not tempted, because flying feels like a really extreme method of travel. I've been on a lot of trains, and trains are wonderful, but I would say they're not actually wonderful, because they have a lot of major shortcomings in terms of comfort, time, etc.
For instance, trains are much slower than planes, but trains don't have airports. This means that sometimes, the best way to get between two cities is to take a train to one city, spend a night there, then take a train to the other city. If you're coming from New York to SF, you can spend all night in Chicago and arrive in SF the next morning. This requires two nights and two flights, or one night and two trains. (Although it's a bit less of an issue for East Coast and West Coast, since Chicago is on the route to SF for both of them.) If you have to fly between those cities (or between New York and Chicago), this is the better option, even though you have to wait overnight and take a train.
Of course you can make a train route from New York to SF through Chicago (there is one), but then you're crossing the country, and you'll take 4-5 nights for a trip that could be done in 2. (In this case you'd spend two nights in Chicago and two nights in New Orleans, a stop on the train route from NYC to Chicago.) The quality of sleep on a train is no worse than sleep in a bed, but you've lost one night, and I have work to do, so . . .
Another thing: trains just aren't very smooth. Sometimes they lurch around in a way that feels unsafe, and some seats are always moving around. If the train has a rocky ride, you don't have the ability to correct for this -- planes always have some sort of sway, but you're used to it and can ignore it. If you're sitting on the floor of a train car and it lurches, you're going to fuck up your knees; if you're on a plane, you just sit and things are fine.
(Speaking of rocky rides, I was once on a train from NYC to DC on a day when the Penn Station track area was experiencing a lot of unusually bad weather, which meant that the trip was slowed down a lot. A guy on the train said something like "it's not bad, I just have to be careful where I stand." I was like "if I were in the subway right now I'd be okay," but this guy was like "well, sure, but the subway is one of the most frequently used train systems in the world. The subway was built with weather like this in mind. This train is running on a line that wasn't built until 1830 and is probably not well-sheltered, and I have to be careful where I stand." And I was like "fair enough")
Another thing: I think trains are just bad for being in a rush, or trying to be somewhere in a relatively short amount of time. (This may be a defect of train systems that are generally more sprawling and less geared towards speed.) If I'm catching a train in Providence at 5 pm and I have to be at my destination by 6:30, I can't be sure that I'm going to make it, because the train system just isn't built around that speed. I once took a train that was 15 minutes late from Providence to NYC and had to get on the next train and got to NYC an hour later than I'd hoped. This just wouldn't happen with a plane!
The best thing about trains is "people watching." Train-going people are really nice and interesting, and the atmosphere of a train is much more like an ordinary social event than, say, a plane (but better, because nobody is being overtly suspicious). A plane, by contrast, feels like an ordinary place of work -- I mean that in a neutral, descriptive way, not in the sense of "lol airplanes" -- and people just feel slightly cold and strange. If I have a lot of work I'd rather do, I'd rather be on a train, where I can also read stuff in the lounge car, or talk to the people around me, or watch the scenery, or do small bits of work as a way to earn my way. (I have no objection to asking people for their thoughts on trains)
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m1ckeyb3rry · 3 months ago
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Mira protection squad rise up….dw just pull out the picture of Karasu in your wallet and just say ummm I’ve got a bf..!! /j but fr stay safe!!! It’s crazy how this still happens everywhere like leave people alone!!!
I’m crying the word count alone still has me REELING like omg….guys this is not a fic atp this could be a whole novel….
Ok wait but continuing I forgot to mention this is such a minor thing but THE TAJ MAHAL OUT OF HAIR??? I did not need that visual either oh my god
And not to worry! I turned back pretty fast I’d only gotten to the part where Karasu calls to talk about being captain and then I was really like ummm wait a minute….so all good!!! I fr was piecing together the story up till that point like “oooh ok in college….ok somehow we made a deal with Karasu got it…” LMAO my fault for running to read without actually reading properly before I started the actual fic portion!!
Ugh baby Karasu is so squishy…I can just imagine pinching his cheeks shdgsjshs speaking of that line where y/n is walking with him after his first game as captain and she compares his baby face to his current face “all angles and gloom and doom” LMAOOO ok but that swimming scene>>>> their bond >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
YAYOYUKI guys it’s just the quadruple Y ship Y to the fourth power LMAO I’m imagining yuki in that meme reaction pic with the person with their arms in the area and their chains breaking LMAOOO
NO IT WORKED SOOOO WELL!!! Honestly I think you’re the master of this like writing characters in love but they don’t know they’re actually in love yet…so good….chefs kiss…..but omg yeah with Aoyama!!! I loved how that was in the story too and you could feel the difference between their relationships!! I’m ngl though I’m not even deep in the fandom or even content in general but whenever I read Aoyama I kept thinking of the dude from mha LMAOOOO I know Aoyama isn’t a super u bc Lemmon last name but that was the first face that popped into my mind shsgsgshsh
The bfb sisters >>>>> ok but so real kaneshiro PLEASE give us NAMES this just reminds me of Barou’s LN too where his sisters are literally referred to as “the 1 year old” and “the 0 year old” like BRO JUST GIVE THEM NAMES!!!! I do really enjoy how we get to see both sides though!!! Like both being friends with the younger and older sister, very refreshing getting to read about both sides!!
NO BECAUSE I ALMOST SCREAMED HAHAHA like bro carried you to your apartment in the middle of the night, gave you water and food, cleaned you up and REMOVED YOUR MAKEUP and oops, to the streets he goes /hj….I also thought y/n hitting otoya up to ring her in was funny LOL I honestly live for the little interactions with other characters I love how it builds a whole little universe within the fic world!
Where would Karasu nation be without you…and OMG MORE KARASU REQS??? Guys Karasu nation is GROWING all thanks to you o7 gotta take a Karasu intermission LMAO but speaking of if there’s anything in the Hiori LN you want reinterpreted…don’t be shy..LOL I had it TLd but I think the wording needs some refining because it was definitely clunkier than the ones I did recently LMAO
Oooo omg plane ride again!! Manifesting no motion sickness to the airport..!!!! And no we knew in our hearts that you were cooking in silence….we trust….
-Karasu anon
LMAOOO WHIPPING OUT A BADLY EDITED PHOTO OF ME NEXT TO KARASU LIKE “so sorry but i’m actually married 🙄 yeah it’s a committed relationship so go away 🥱” JFJDJS i’m dead 😭 nah fr i don’t understand how it’s such a problem STILL but oh well 😐
apparently according to google a novel is anything above 40k words SO TECHNICALLY i did write an entire novel abt karasu based on a song from victorious 😭 that is the most ridiculous sentence i think i’ve ever formulated JFKSJFJSK what even…it’s what my man deserves though 💖
OH MY GOD THE TAJ MAHAL OUT OF HAIR it was actually a reference to this disney xd show that my brother, my best friend, and i watched as kids called lab rats and at one point one of the characters makes a “buckinghair palace” and is planning on making a “taj mahair” it was a very random reference LMAOAOA but i like throwing things in like that to make the world seem richer?? like i could’ve just had otoya say that his sister had a bad roommate but adding in that specific (and gross) detail just made it seem like there’s things going on in the background even when the reader isn’t there if that makes sense
LMAOO i can fr see how that would be confusing 😭 the 41.6k words really got to you huh 😰
HAHAHA no but y/n is so real for that because imagine you’re used to adorable squishy baby karasu and then all of a sudden BAM he’s all chiseled and gorgeous?? but you’re “not attracted” to him because he’s “like your brother” so you can’t even appreciate that part 😩💔
PLSSS yayoyuki my otp all those y’s mean they’re meant for each other 🤩 LMAOOO yukimiya breathing a sigh of relief that he’s actually chill for once
AHHH YESSS MY FAV TROPE i love when characters don’t understand their feelings it’s truly so much fun because it’s such a good way to create tension without feeling forced or annoying…yesss the way y/n and aoyama are chill but you can FEEL how she doesn’t love him but then her with karasu even though she doesn’t realize it the love they share just seeps into every interaction they have 🥹 PLSSS icl i know nothing abt mha and would prefer to keep it that way 😰 to be honest i just went on the japanese census and picked one of the earlier names on the list which happened to be aoyama (because it starts with an a i suppose)…no reference intended there
kaneshiro so allergic to women he won’t even give them names 😔💔 literally the only girls with names are isagi and bachira’s moms + anri 😭 i can never write a bllk fic without ocs because i NEED female friendships in my stories!! and agreed that it was rlly fun to see the difference in liking your friend’s older brother versus the younger brother as there are different associated stigmas and whatnot that come about from it
KARASU SAID “right let me just be the ideal bf real quick” AND GOT THE BOOT FOR IT 🥲 i can’t even blame him for kissing her/confessing at that point because wdym he went through all of that and then told you he’d never had a girlfriend because he was in love with someone who’d never love him back and you have the audacity to say “damn who would ever say no to you??” 😭⁉️ he’s more patient than me fr…okay but lowkey it’s so funny to me that he saw y/n when he was four years old and he IMMEDIATELY locked tf in…like THAT was the ONLY GIRL he wanted from that moment on 😩
otoya was so much fun to write in this au 😭 like the way he’s so nonchalant and all…he knows exactly what’s going on because he’s good w girls but he has 0 interest in getting involved because he needs to protect his peace!! like i said w the taj mahal thing i love throwing in little moments that make it seem like the characters all have their own lives separate from the plot…for example the “crazy girl” from otoya’s group project that he mentions very easily could be a love interest for him if you think abt it ☝🏻 like “crazy girl” just wants a good grade and slacker otoya thinks he can flirt his way out of doing any work but she’s having NONE of it and they end up falling in love based on that?? can you imagine he’s like two minutes late to the meeting and she’s like “where were you 😐” and he’s like “my roommate’s older sister’s best friend was showing me where to get non-keurig coffee” and she doesn’t even believe him because she’s heard many dumbass excuses in her life and that is the worst one yet 😭 idk that’s just a random example but it’s just fun for me to throw in those random little threads!! i think like you said it really helps to build a universe within the story and make the plot as well as all of the characters feel more whole and well rounded as opposed to flat and one dimensional 🤩
at this point i think i’m basically a karasu account LMAOO nobody remembers my roots as a nagi fan anymore 😟 yes i have a couple of reqs for him which is rlly exciting!! eek i’ve been having trouble getting into the hiori mindset but i NEED TO because those two reqs are from my 500 follower milestone event which was ages agooo like they’re literally from JUNE 😭 ugh trust i will cook when i get the chance though!!
YESS PRAYING NO MOTION SICKNESS!! we still have a little less than a week left before we leave so going to relax and enjoy the vibes but tbh i am excited to return to america…the glorious land of ubiquitous air conditioning and everyone wearing deodorant…LMAO 😭🙏🏻
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moonieshinesims · 9 months ago
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Generation One - Chapter Thirty Four
It's finally time for River to make her way to Mt. Komorebi. How will the flight be? Will she be able to find Damien when she arrives at the station? And then what happens? She was frightened… but she couldn't let anybody see it… She was on multiple missions and would have to keep her head straight!
*And please let's ignore that River's luggage changes colors 3 times in this post... I clearly wasn't paying any attention lol*
River's family drove her to the airport the night of her flight. She was antsy the whole car ride over.
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Bee caught the last thing her younger, stranger daughter said. It struck a nerve with her, given things that had happened to River in the past, but she wasn't sure she heard her correctly.
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Mercy smirked and rolled her eyes. "Smooth."
They went into the airport and looked at the boarding time of River's flight. She had about an hour, so she decided to buy her family a coffee before she left.
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She knew she didn't have to buy them coffees, she was still under the impression that she might not ever see them again. She wanted to have one last nice moment with her family before leaving, especially when she didn't know if she'd ever see them again.
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They sat around for about 45 minutes, talking and joking, until the announcement was made that River's flight was leaving.
They made their way to the front desk so River could hand over her ticket and check her luggage in the scanner.
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"You better give us hugs first!" Bee sounded so upset, although she was trying to hide it. River told her cousin Logan goodbye, and then gave her mom and sister hugs.
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Bee was doing alright at keeping it together, but only because she didn't want to stress River out.
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Mercy on the other hand whispered something into River's ear. Underneath that joking, mischievous personality, Mercy was also worried that River wouldn't make it back home...
"I'll be careful guys, and I'll keep in contact!" They said their final goodbyes, then River finally turned to leave her family behind.
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River's luggage was taken on the little cart to the part of the airplane where all the bags were stored. She joined a short line of people getting onto the plane.
When she finally entered the aircraft, she was a little overwhelmed.
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She didn't have an assigned seat, and wasn't sure where would be best to sit.
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There were only a couple of seats that were left empty. The one with the most leg room was in between a bored looking woman with her face stuck in her phone, and a nervous looking older man. She realized that was the exit row, but perhaps, since she would be on the plane for over 10 hours, it would be best to sit there.
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Somehow she was able to sleep through most of the flight and was only awakened when the landing announcement was made.
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The nervous man was gone, probably in the bathroom, and the other girl was still looking at something on her phone. Either way, River was glad that they were about to get off the plane. She wasn't sure, if she'd been awake, if she actually liked flying.
Once everyone was ushered off the plane and were able to obtain their luggage, River found herself outside. Damien's messages from days earlier had said he would meet her on the walkway above the trains.
It took River a moment to see next to the airport where he was talking about. The entire town was quiet as River pulled her luggage along behind her across a small yard, towards the train station.
When she made it up to the walkway, she took a look around at her surroundings.
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Again, it was so quiet that River felt eerie.
Suddenly, down the walkway, someone began calling River's name in Simlish.
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*please ignore that the last name on this sign is NOT River's last name in Simlish... I forgot what I was writing and put another one of my OC's last name on the sign!!*
River turned around and saw that it was Damien holding a sign with her name on it.
"Damien! I was wondering where you were."
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"But I actually can't wait to go to wherever I'm staying and get into a real bed."
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River then followed Damien down the walkway towards the parking lot. Again, even though she slept a lot, it wasn't good sleep, and she was too tired to be excited or nervous.
When she woke up the next morning she would put energy into being excited.
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japan-korea · 9 months ago
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Thought this story was worth repeating...(post-trauma processing?!..😵‍💫 Lol?)
New experience - in custody (technically, I was "asked for my cooperation" at some point) at the Sapporo airport in Japan. I thought there was fairly good chance I was going to be arrested there.
This long airport story starts with being turned back from the Immigration counter, after the long line, because the QR Code I got from the official Visit Japan website was "the old version." (Huh?) - Had to go a counter to fill out a form (with the information I had already input into the Visit Japan website), go back to Immigration, and worry about meeting my ride.
As I got to baggage claim, I saw one of my bags (my 2 were the only ones left) had a sign attached to it, and was being taken off the carousel. At the same moment I was being told it had to be inspected. I was starting to fray around the edges, being delayed even more, and after 22 hours traveling, 18 of them on airplanes, and worried about the driver who was supposed to be waiting for me.
A girl in a uniform went through it on a table near the carousel. Yet even after that, when I went to go through Customs (after filling out a form, because I knew THAT QR code I had must be the "old version," too), a sweet girl in a Customs uniform went through that bag again, as well as my other 2 bags. She called over other agents, asked about various medications, Splenda packets, etc etc etc.
Next, she said she wanted to wipe things with a towlette/cloth to see if illegal substances...
Now I'm even feeling like maybe I was chosen as some kind of easy mark (foreign old lady alone?) as everybody else seems to be going through without incident. (Slightly recklessly) I commented about driver was waiting for me, and the cost, and I was hoping he was still there, and thinking I may have lost my ride.
The young guy agent talks to an older one. Soon after, the young guy pulls out another paper, basically the same questions as the form I'd already filled out and submitted, asking if anything changed, now that they went through my bags and tested. Really fraying a bit more, when It occurred to me it was possible I was being tricked - that if there was something I accidentally missed, and I did not change an answer, that I would be charged with something like giving a false statement - or, if I kept the answers the same, even after they tested, that I could still be charged with some underlying crime. (I could not see any reason to ask me sign a paper regarding what I'd already attested to in the first Customs form, so I became suspicious....and a little paranoid..?). I started asking if there was a problem, and the young guy basically said I could not be told yet, but he asked if I remembered they wiped some things with the detection towelettes, and he also pointed to a paragraph about illegal drugs (!!)
They then wanted to take my bags and me away (move to a back room). As I walked, I sensed an agent was right behind me, as others led from the front and side (hence, in custody). I tried to move to the side, but the one behind me stuck to me like glue. In the back room, one agent took out a folding chair, while one spread a blue tarp on the floor. One told me to take off my shoes, patted me down, and joined others taking everything out of all my bags and putting it on the tarp, while questioning me about my medications, how long I was planning to stay in Japan, if I was going anywhere besides Sapporo, etc. They asked about the tiny screwdriver eyeglasses kit, and searched inside the liner of my suitcase. I was getting concerned that maybe I uniwittingly violated some Customs regulation (!?).... The senior-looking guy came in, and asked if it was my first time in Japan, and I slipped in that I'd lived in Okinawa when I worked for the American military. I also commented I'm an old person, and so have a lot of medications, vitamins, etc. - and had in what may have looked like a more-than-average quantity because I would be away 7 weeks. They wanted to know why I had so much Splenda (after I'd tried to explain it's a sugar substitute, more than once). I explained I brought it because you can't buy it here... And I said I like coffee, and I drink a lot of it. And like it sweet. Oy vey.
Anyway, they finally said I could go, thanked me for my cooperation, and I said again that I hope the driver didn't leave me (my version of a mild complaint, and kind-of-explanation for my hopefully-well-hidden frustration).
What an ordeal. And story. Or should I say, saga.
The driver turned out to be the nicest man - about my age. I'm really glad he waited - it was a long way into the city, and we talked a lot. And the guy who checked me in at the hotel was also more than nice, and helpful. And my SIM card was delivered to the hotel - so it was there when I checked in.
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hisprophetsagain · 1 year ago
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2, 20, 30
2. 3 movies you have rewatched many times oh so many. going with ones that are on my current watch-often list are: Ocean's Eleven, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and Green Room :)
20. 3 adjectives that you’d use to describe yourself okay, i'll try to limit it to nice adjectives :p inquisitive, articulate, reserved
30. 3 moments you could never forget -okay so the first one is a bad example but fun lol: my senior year of college i did a spring break trip with two friends and we went to napa/san francisco. the plan was for the last night (st patrick's day!) to be a big drunken blow-out BUT my friends wore themselves out during the week. beautiful trip, i loved it, but that last day i went IN. drank all day, then went out and abandoned my friends because they wanted to stay at the hotel. i went out to a couple of bars and met some nice folks at this one bar who invited me to hang out with them. i spent the night drinking with them, totally blacked out, and missed my flight home lol. i called my girlfriend at the time (who was in new york) to help me get a taxi and i went straight to the airport, thinking my friends who've grabbed my luggage for me. nope! lost that luggage but made it home safe somehow :) i did also get a ride back to my apartment (in our college town three hours away) with one of the friends i had gone on the vacation with :)
-second is my first memory i think (or the one i've decided is :p)! i remember a sunny day, my mom and i were in the kitchen and the light was shining through the curtains and she made me a pb&j. it feels like she was making it with the intention of teaching me how to do it and i was in the chair excitedly watching. it also feels like one of those moments that i think parents have where all the stress of having a kid is gone and they just get to enjoy being with their little person? idk, i've probably embellished it in my mind but it's a nice little memory of knowing my mom loved me (i think she still does, i'll have to ask :p)
-third is one of the nicest like youth moments i have? there was this girl in high school i was SUPER into and it felt kinda taboo because she was my sister's friend and i used to drive them home after school and we bickerflirted with my sister in the car and i was a young awkward kid. BUT one night we were hanging out and we got invited to go hang out with a couple of other friends and we were in the car in the dark waiting to hear where to go and i had on hot hot heat's album elevator. the song jingle jangle came on and i had my eyes closed in my chair and our hands were close and the energy was SO "who's gonna kiss whom first???" BUT we got the text and started driving. we ended up dating later but that's maybe the most romantic moment of my life and it still makes me smile :p
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A Stark and her Soldier ~ Part 1
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Imagine: Reuniting with Bucky when you end up helping Sam with the Flag Smashers.
Warnings: TFATWS SPOILERS! This takes place during the first two episodes of the show.
A/N: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’M BACK (with a new header lol)!!! AHHHHHHHH! It’s been nearly two years but here I am… posting this makes me SO nervous, so feedback would be highly appreciated! More parts and some information about what I’m planning with this blog to follow soon! 
“You held us together – do it for them,” he paused before adding, “Promise me you’ll do it for them.”
You blinked away the tears, knowing what was coming, “I can’t promise that...”
“Y/N please,” the way he begged you with that shaking voice was nearly enough to push you over the edge.
“I-I promise.” He squeezed your hand before letting you leave.
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“You’ve reached James Barnes, sorry I couldn’t take your call, please –” you hung up before the recorded message could continue, face burning with frustration. This was the 9th time you had tried calling him this week, not to mention the countless text messages.
You scoffed thinking of Steve’s last words to you, how were you supposed to hold them together when you barely held yourself together on a good day? It doesn’t make it any easier when the person you’re supposed to be holding together is so keen on letting himself fall apart.  
Every time you tried calling him, you ended up feeling furious, miserable, or like an absolute failure – usually all three. You promised Steve, you promised, and you failed. You groaned and chucked your phone across your bed.
The last time you had seen him, Steve had still been around, and you hadn’t even spoken to him since Tony’s funeral.
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 You and Pepper had walked to the lake, each holding one of Morgan’s hands, and you had sat at the dock watching the arc reactor – his heart – float away, the people behind you forgotten in your grief. The weight on your heart was unbelievable, you had already lost your best friend, Natasha, and now your brother was gone.
You promised him that you wouldn’t cry at his funeral – he always knew it was inevitable – and so you sat there, sending him away with a pained smile.
You had no idea how long you had just sat there, staring at the horizon across the lake, trying to make this last moment with your brother last forever.
“Y/N?” You felt a hand squeezing your shoulder, “You should come back inside.”
“What happens now, Steve?” Your voice was softer than he had ever heard before.
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out together,” he paused for a moment before gesturing to Bucky, waiting outside the house behind him, “He wants to talk to you.”
You gave Bucky a small smile, “Hey.”
He walked over and dropped down next to you, Steve leaving the two of you to chat, “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” You nodded solemnly.
He added, “For everything, Y/N… he probably wouldn’t even have wanted me here, but –”
You shook your head and took his hand, heart fluttering at the contact. You had always been attracted to him, and it had only grown with every interaction. “That wasn’t you.”
You knew your brother never blamed Bucky, you all knew how it felt to have people mess with your heads and Bucky had had the worst of it. He was furious at Steve for years, but never at Bucky – you could never bring yourself to be angry with either of them, not after the stories you grew up with. Your father had adored the soldiers and you had been one of their biggest fans, and later one of Steve’s closest friends.
There had come a point after the battle between Tony and Steve when you had become sick of all the back and forth. You were lucky enough to find an escape when T’Challa got in touch with you, offering you a chance to come to Wakanda and learn about their technology – you weren’t ashamed to admit that you were the one who contacted him to beg for it. You hadn’t known that Bucky was already there. Slowly but surely, the two of you found comfort in one another and became good friends.  
He gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “You should head inside, it’s getting late – I’ll see you again soon.”
He stayed true to that statement, the two of you stood with Sam and Bruce, waiting for Steve to come back after returning the stones – only to have him shatter your hearts.
You only saw Bucky in passing after that, occasionally visiting Steve at the same time – you never said a word to him, beyond a smile or a wave, and then you stopped seeing him all together. You tried, for the sake of your promise to Steve, but he never answered your calls or texts.
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“We’ll figure it out together, right, thanks a lot Steve,” You muttered.
You jumped at the sound of your phone ringing, and your shoulders sank a bit when you saw Sam’s name flashing across the screen, “Hey.”
“He’s doing an interview,” You knew exactly who Sam was talking about, “Good Morning America.”
Your stomach turned, “That’s the last thing I want to see.”
“I know, I just thought I’d share my joy with someone,” Sam chuckled, “Any luck with Bucky?”
“I’m just wasting my time at this point,” You could feel the tears returning to your eyes as you said it.
“Hey, come on now, he’ll come around, he just needs some time.”
“Right…”
“Listen, I called because we have a lead, wanna join?”
“Please.”
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“I hate it, his stupid face plastered on every wall, it feels like he’s mocking us.”
“Don’t you start, Y/N.”
“Seriously Sam, I get that he’s the new Cap – the fake Cap, but don’t you think that this,” You gestured to the posters around you, “is excessive?”
“It-”
“Shouldn’t have given up the shield.” Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and your face heated up with anger, you hadn’t realized it was possible to feel such contrasting emotions at the same time, but here you were. You noted that his voice was a bit hoarse and wondered if he had been sick.
“Good to see you too, Buck.”
“This is wrong.”
“So is pushing away everyone who cares about you.” He finally looked at you and you saw shame glistening in those steel blue eyes.
He said nothing before turning back to Sam, “You didn’t know that was gonna happen?”
Wow, ignoring your calls was one thing, but outright ignoring you while you stood in front of him, that caused a different kind of hurt.
You stood in silence as Sam explained where the two of you were headed, trying to push away the pounding in your head, and suddenly, you found yourself in a jet sitting next to Bucky.
“You could have answered, even once. Could’ve at least let me know that you were still alive.”
“I know,” Was all he said.
“We were friends once,” Nothing, “and I still care for you.”
“I know.”
“Four months, a full four months and I didn’t hear a single word from you, I’m going to need more than ‘I know’.”
He sighed, “I’m sorry.”
You could tell that he meant it and didn’t know what more to say, so you got up and headed towards the open door of the plane, “I’ll catch you boys on the ground.”
You watched Sam follow, and considered helping Bucky as he fell through the trees, but you decided against it. He hurt your feelings and now you could call it even.
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Super soldiers? How on earth were there more super soldiers?! You didn’t have much time to ponder on the thought as you got kicked in the face by one of them and fell off the semi – definitely should have let Tony make you a helmet like he insisted.
You flew back up only to see him dropping out of a helicopter, Fake Cap, fuck.
“Looks like you guys could use some help,” Your blood boiled at the sight of his cocky grin.
You weren’t winning, and you weren’t stupid enough to continue trying, let Steve’s knock-off take care of it.
You flew off just in time to see Bucky lying on top of Sam, the latter groaned in displeasure.
“Hey, can you gentlemen save the PDA for later?” You joked, earning a glare from both of them.
With the adrenaline slowly draining from your system, the pain from the blows you took started to set in, making you dread the trek in front of you. As if on cue, you heard a horn honking and Fake Cap pulled up next to you, “It’s 20 miles to the airport, you guys need a ride.”
“I think we’re good,” You simply stated.
“You won’t make it with that limp.”
You gave him a crude smile, “I’d rather crawl.”  
They stopped and opened the door, you exchanged a look with Sam and Bucky, silently deciding to join them.
You sat between Bucky and Sam, and felt the anger and disgust radiating off of both of them with every word that was exchanged.
“Y/N Stark,” You despised the way he said your last name, like he wanted to devour you, “You are one of the original seven, I trust you know the importance of having a strong team. I’d suggest giving a word or two of advice to your friends here.”
“Did you really just compare being on a team with you two, to being on a team with the Avengers?” You glowered at him, “A word of advice Walker, you’re not Steve, you might be holding that shield, but you will never be half the Captain America that he was. So quit fucking pretending.”  
“I didn’t realize Stark’s sister had such a mouth on her,” He smirked, he knew exactly what he was doing and as much as you hated to admit it, it was working, “Vicious.”
“Go to hell.”
The ride didn’t last very long after that, and you had no complaints when Bucky demanded them to stop the car.
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You opened your eyes and rolled over to see Sam still asleep on the seats across from you, and Bucky was sitting on the large crate in the middle of the jet, “Not tired?”
“Nah,” He shook his head.
You pushed yourself to your feet and hopped up next to him, “You’d think they’d make those seats a bit more comfortable considering the amount of time we spend on these things.”
He chuckled and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence. After a considerable pause he turned to you, “Y/N, I meant what I said earlier, I’m sorry.”
The dark bags under his eyes were a stark contrast from the beautiful blue that you were looking into, which you noted which had lost its luster. You noticed that his voice still had a bit of that hoarseness from earlier in the day, and the dots connected. You remembered how hoarse your voice used to get when you’d wake up screaming from the nightmares after particularly rough missions. You understood why he was awake, he didn’t want you and Sam to see him like that.
You nodded, “I know, I just wish – I was worried sick about you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you Buck, but we were good friends once and I miss you.”
“I wanted to call, it’s just been tough,” He admitted, and you reached over to take his hand, only to quickly pull away as Sam woke up.
“You two okay?”
“Yeah,” You both said. You wondered if Bucky’s super soldier ability allowed him to hear the way your heartbeat picked up from that brief touch.
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Your mind was racing a million miles a minute, you had barely kept the tears in listening to Isaiah’s story, both out of anger and sadness. How? How did this happen? How was this man tortured, then brushed under the rug? How did no one know about it? Why the hell did Bucky keep this from you?
Sam mirrored your pained expression, but something darker lurked beneath his eyes, you couldn’t even imagine the rage he felt. The sound of a police siren pulled you out of your thoughts.
Your anger only grew at the argument that ensued, “I am calm, what do you want? We’re just standing here talking.”
“Just give him your ID,” You glared at Bucky as the words left his mouth.
“Why the hell should he? He didn’t do anything wrong!” You growled, at the same time Sam said, “I’m not giving him shit, we were just talking.”
“Hey, hey, look, is this guy bothering you?” The officer asked you and Bucky. Your eyes widened, he can’t be serious right now.
“No, he’s not bothering us, do you know who this is?!”
You couldn’t even stand to look at the guy as his jaw dropped in shock upon realizing who Sam was, you felt your body shake with anger, and you didn’t even want to think what would have happened if Sam hadn’t been an Avenger.
The officer returned from his vehicle and turned the tables, announcing that there was a warrant out for Bucky’s arrest.
Watching him being handcuffed and put into the car shattered your heart, if the events of the day hadn’t already left you feeling nauseous, you knew this would be the nail in the coffin. All you could see was Bucky on his knees with a gun to his head nearly seven year ago when Steve barely prevented T’Challa from killing him and the four of you had been arrested – Tony had been furious with you, but it was the shame in Bucky’s eyes that had hurt you the most, and here you were, witnessing it again.
You reached over a grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed as hard as you could, desperate for a lifeline to keep you from sinking into those painful memories.
You maintained that same grip on the poor man’s hand as you sat at the police station waiting for Bucky to be bailed out, “Sam, Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you two, I’m Dr. Raynor, I’m James’ therapist.”
The two of you shook her hand and Sam thanked her for getting Bucky out.
“That was not me –”
“Christina!” You’d recognize that voice anywhere from the way it made your skin crawl, fuck, “Good to see you again.”
You clenched your jaw to keep yourself from punching the stupid grin off of his face as he pointed to himself when Dr. Raynor asked him who authorized Bucky’s release. You knew you had a problem with constantly wanting to punch people in the face, it was a trait that ran in the family, but Walker’s face was definitely one of the most punchable ones you had seen – a good ol’ pop in the jaw wouldn’t hurt, right? Just one?
“He’s too valuable of an asset to have him tied up –”
That was it, that was all you were willing to hear, you couldn’t stop yourself from getting in his face and hissing, “Call him that again, and I swear to god Walker, I –”
Sam put his arm around you, hand pressed to your stomach and pulled you back, “Y/N.”
Walker simply smirked and turned back to Raynor, “Do what you have to do and send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I, you too Wilson, and bring your guard dog with you.”
It took everything in your power to keep from snarling at him.  
“James, condition of your release, session now,” The doctor ordered, “You two as well.”
“I’m good, I’ve been to enough therapy,” You shook your head, at the same time Sam said, “That’s okay, I’ll be out here with –”
“That wasn’t a request,” You couldn’t help but chuckle, and decided that you liked this woman.
You and Sam sat on either side of Bucky, facing Dr. Raynor as she got started. You couldn’t help but notice the way Bucky’s eyes shifted and jaw clenched as Sam tried to weasel his way out of the session, and your chest tightened. He looked so tired, and not just the ‘hasn’t slept in a few days’ tired, but more like he was tired of trying – he looked broken.
You decided in that moment that you would try, and not just for Steve, but for the man next to you who had held a piece of your heart before he even knew you, and managed steal that piece away when you had met him years later.
You realized how hard you’d have try when Bucky answered Dr. Raynor’s question with, “In my miracle, he would talk less.”
“Exactly what I was gonna say, isn’t that ironic?” You sighed, so hard.
She turned to you, mimicking the expression on your face, “Y/N, can I trust you to give me a proper answer?”
Try, Y/N, try. You saw a glimmer of hope in Raynor’s eyes as they met yours, but you simply shrugged and looked away, unable to bring yourself to open up, and she let her shoulders fall slightly.
“You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise. Y/N, you can sit this one out, you get along with both of them well enough.”
You rolled your eyes at the reactions from the boys, this’ll be good. You couldn’t help but chuckle as they got closer to one another, maybe I should have taken part in this exercise. They made eye contact and continued to hold it, you realized what they were doing moments before the doctor did and let out a genuine laugh – earning a glare from Raynor, don’t encourage them she seemed to say.
“James, why does Sam aggravate you? And don’t say something childish.” Your head filled with a hundred different ideas about what stupid things Bucky would come up with, only to have them fizzle away at his cheeky grin towards the doctor, followed by the lick of his lip. It left your throat dry. Snap out of it, Y/N, what’s gotten into you?
He paused for a moment, his expression changing, and turned back to Sam, “Why’d you give of that shield?”
You held your breath, you knew this was going to come up, but weren’t expecting it here. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Bucky, noticing every change in his face, it becoming more pained with every word that left his mouth, and your chest tightening alongside it, until finally, “So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.”
The break in his voice cracked your heart into a million pieces. You looked up, trying to keep the tears swimming in your eyes from falling. You turned your attention towards Sam and noticed the emotion behind his glassy eyes – it was different than anything you had seen in him before, it was almost as though you could see the burden he was carrying on his shoulders, the pressure that was pushing him in every direction.
I have to fix this, you told yourself, you couldn’t stand to see them like this, I have to try.  
Your mind was roaring with thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed that Sam and Bucky had left until Raynor asked, “What would be in your miracle, Y/N?”
You snapped your head towards her, then to the door, you weighed your options and headed towards the latter. You grabbed the handle and stopped, without turning towards her you whispered, “I’d find a home again, and they’d find some happiness.”
You pulled the door open, “Y/N, I don’t think those two things have to be separate.”
Her words swam in your head until you found Bucky and Sam walking outside, Walker and Hoskins storming off in the other direction.
“What’s that all about?”
“Walker being Walker,” Sam shrugged.
“So, what now?”
“Bucky wants to talk to Zemo,” Every memory that you spent years trying to forget came flooding back: Zemo using those words to turn Bucky into the Winter Soldier, who then proceeded to trash the compound and nearly kill you and your friends; watching your family fight each other at the airport and being forced to pick a side; watching the footage of your parents dying; desperately begging your brother and the man who had become your brother not to kill one another.
“You what?!” You gasped.
“Y/N –”
You stepped between the two of them, close enough to Bucky that you had to tilt your head up to look into his eyes, and whispered, “Bucky, no.”
“This might be our only lead, Y/N,” You stared up at him, silently pleading him, he reflected the same in his own, “Please Y/N.”
He took your hand and you instantly melted, “I – fine, but promise me you will be careful.”
“I promise.”
End. 
Read Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 and Part 6
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k3rm1e · 3 years ago
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hi love,
what about a short reader, like really short (i’m 5’0 lol) meeting ranboo irl for the first time. they get kinda intimidated by the height difference and their love language is physical touch so once they do feel better standing near ranboo it’s like the exact opposite, so now they’re all over him as if he was monkey bars.
also if you do end up using this could you tag me? i really wanna read it as soon as it comes out♥️
playground
hi love,
what about a short reader, like really short (i’m 5’0 lol) meeting ranboo irl for the first time. they get kinda intimidated by the height difference and their love language is physical touch so once they do feel better standing near ranboo it’s like the exact opposite, so now they’re all over him as if he was monkey bars.
also if you do end up using this could you tag me? i really wanna read it as soon as it comes out♥️
hi!! sorry this has taken a while, i am shit at scheduling (like really bad lmao) but i hope you like it anyways!!
cw: cursing 
playground:
  sitting in the airport, you waited for ranboo and his parent’s to pick you up. the california heat was absolutely miserable, burning you up. everyone in the airport seemed miserable, covered in the slick of sticky sweat. leaning your head over the back of your chair, you stared at the fluorescent lights.
  seeing someone shouting your name you picked your head up, only to flop it back down. how fucking tall was that kid…? would he crush you? stomp on you like a large goblin man? take you with his long arms and kidnap you, like slenderman? seriously, what the fuck were his parents feeding that kid????
  after a few more seconds of indulging your strange thoughts of the possible cryptids ranboo may be related to ((mothman possibly??) please?), he walked over and stuck his head over yours.
  “hello!” he stared at you from above, your brain racing with ‘tall man… tall man scary. but tall man friend…? confuse brain: ACTIVATE’ .
  “uh, hello ranboo.” you went to pick your head up from over the back of your chair, clashing skulls with ranboo. tall man = threat. 
  sitting on the floor you held your head, wishing you could simply evaporate in the sky and then be rained down on the earth. maybe droplet-you would land somewhere colder, like greenland. or alaska. knowing your luck, you’d probably enter the fiery pits of a volcano. maybe a desert. life is a misery of pain cursing you to feel the heat radiating of the sun. your existence was the explosion of one of the endless stars occupying outer space.
  “uh, you okay there? you’ve been sitting there for a few minutes now.” when you didn’t respond, ranboo made a confused noise. “i didn’t concuss you, did i?”.
  “no, no you did not.” finally coming back to earth, you looked at ranboo. sure, you had known he was 6’6'' but the knowledge of his height was not the same as seeing him in person. you would just barely reach his height if you sat on the shoulders of a small child. even then, you would still be shorter, as the small child would be flailing around. heh. small children are funny.
  standing up, you walked next to ranboo. with any other person you would be running to hug them. you had finally met one of your best friends, why weren’t you bursting at the seems. the simplest explanation for that is that he is so much taller when your next to him. thought he could crunch you like goblin earlier? wrong. you are jack and he is the beanstalk.
  while he moved his arms for a hug, you patted his arms in a way that felt cryptic. ranboo, already accepting your strangeness, patted you back. after the arm-patting-friendship-initiation ceremony,  you walked to the car. time to leave the stuffy airport.
  throughout the entire car ride, you sat as far from ranboo as you could. when he slid closer to you to show you something funny, whether it was on tiktok or twitter, you tried to press yourself into the car door. yeah, you might’ve been over reacting but who cares? he was a foot and a half taller than you, were you supposed to welcome him with open arms? if anything, it's good you were afraid. it means your survival systems were still (somehow) intact and working properly.
  once you arrived at the house, ranboo gave you your very own tour. within this tour, a pool was shown. a pool that would become your very new home. it was already decently late, which caused the enforcement of sleep. while you each went to your own rooms, you snuck out. pool time, as an escape from the blistering heat.
  in the dark of the night, you jumped in the pool, ignoring the noise you made. finally, a reprieve from the merciless, miserable heat. “finally, sweet, sweet, cool water.” you let our a pleased sigh, reclining in the pool, floating on the surface and lightly kicking your feet.
  with a quick end to your relaxation period, ranboo put his head through his window. “why are you in the pool?? its like two in the morning??” he stared down at you and you stared back. subconsciously, you moved further away from the house.
  “... hot. i wanted a reprieve from the rise of hell.”
  ranboo laughed and yelled back to you. “yeah, i expected that. i’ll be down soon.”
  you yelled back a “wha-!” but he had already moved away from the window. he was coming down there to what? join you in the pool with his tall-ness?
  you heard the back door slide open and out came ranboo. it seemed he also did not have the energy to change, both of you in normal clothing. Running torwars the pool, he jumped in, covering you in water.
  “oh my god! jesus! why is it so cold?!?” his head popped up and he was trying to push all his hair out his face. while he swan towards you, you backed away. he paused. “look, i don’t know if you’re playing some prank on me or whatever, but why are you acting so scared of me? seriously, i was super excited to meet you and i understand if you’re tired, but what’s your deal right now?”.
  you stared at him in silence. breaking the awkward silence, ranboo sighed and went to leave the pool. “... you’re too tall.” you muttered.
  “what?” ranboo turned around and stared at you.
  you sighed, accepting your fate. “you’re too tall. you’re like, a whole foot taller than me.”.
  he stared at you before breaking into laughter. “are you kidding me? seriously? that is NO reason to be scared i’m not gonna hurt you.”.
  you threw your head back. “i knowwww.”.
  ranboo started dying laughing, and soon enough you joined him. breaking out in a coughing fit, you stared at him. “i know, i’m an idiot.” you moved from the corner of the pool and moved near ranboo.
  “yeah, yeah, you are.” ranboo stared laughing at you and you could see him scheming.
  “no. no. nonononononono.” ranboo picked you up and through you into the water as hard as he could. swimming up as fast as you could, you saw him grinning like a fox. “you bitch!”.
  this started a disaster, of splashing each other and throwing people in the water. grabbing pool floaties, you both fell asleep in the water.
  the next morning your behaviors were a bit different.  “ranbooooo. i’m bored. hang out with me.” laying on his floor under an air conditioner, you looked at ranboo as he was editing a new video. from the corner of your eye, you could see a phone pointing at you. he better not post anything on tiktok.
  “i’m editing.” he smiled and kept looking at the screen, ignoring you.
  “like i give a shit. let’s go out. get ice cream.”
  knowing you would never shut up, ranboo gave in to your idiocy. “alright…”.
  quickly getting up, you forced him to take you to the ice cream shop, holding his hand all the way. arriving at the shop, ranboo was forced to pay for both cones.
  smiling, you chuckled. “gold digger…” you heard him mutter.
  sitting at the benches, you leaned your head on his shoulder. “so, what caused this change in personality?” ranboo leaned his head over to look at you.
  “nghhhhh;;;;;;; no.” you laughed at him, knowing you were frustrating him.
  “so you just magically decided i could be a replacement for a playground?”
  “i just got an idea! let’s go to the park! we can play on the playground.” ranboo sighed. you were the embodiment of :3, and definitely a handful.
finally this is out!! i hope you liked this, even though its late. very late… yes! But i hope you enjoyed this. side question - what’s everyone’s favorite ice cream flavor? personally, i always get superman from ice cream shops but strawberry from cartons.
tagged ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@feverish-dove
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jaehyunfirstlove · 3 years ago
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Pairing: businessman!lucas x f.reader
Genre: smut (18+ only)
Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, slight exhibitionism
Word count: 2.4k
A/N: this is my first Lucas fic so please be gentle lol. inspired, as you can tell by the title, by the song :)
Your flight was delayed, landing you at McCarran past three am, and well past your agreed upon pickup from your hotel. Sighing you went to the hotel pickup counter, only to see the *closed* sign. You considered calling your best friend, Joy, whose bachelorette party you were there for, but you felt bad bothering her in case she was asleep, or worse, out having a good time.
You were about to call an uber, already dreading what kind of experience you might get, when you noticed a man slumped against the counter, holding up a sign. He was obviously a hired driver, wearing the cap and uniform that designated him as such, and the sign he was holding had a person’s name on it, followed by the hotel name, which was coincidentally the same one you were going to.
“Excuse me,” you said, coming over to stand in front of him. He didn’t move, and that’s when you noticed he was snoring lightly. You cleared your throat with a little more force, and he finally blinked his eyes open and looked at you.
“Yes?” he said irritably, obviously annoyed at being woken from his little nap.
“You’re going to the Venetian, right?” you asked, putting on your most polite voice.
“Yeah, just waiting for my customer.”
“Could I possibly catch a ride with you? I’m going to the same hotel, and I missed my ride because my flight was delayed.” You put on your sweetest voice, hoping to sway him.
“Sorry, miss, can’t take anyone who’s not on the register,” he shrugged, “company orders.”
“Oh come on! I’m stuck at the airport in the middle of the night! We’re going to the same place anyway! What’s another person?”
“Hey, I don’t wanna lose my job here!”
You were about to plead your case further, when a man suddenly walked up to the two of you. He was tall and slim, his chestnut brown hair swept high, eyes wide as he stared between the two of you. You recognized him as the guy from business class on your flight, the very same one you’d made flirtatious eyes at as you walked by him to the restroom.
“What’s going on?” he asked, stepping up to the driver. “That’s me,” he said, pointing at the sign.
“Oh, Mr. Wong, it’s nice to meet you,” the driver said hurriedly. “This lady was trying to hitch a ride with us but I told her we can’t take anyone unless they’re on the register.”
The man, Mr. Wong, looked at you then, and you saw the flash in his eyes as he recognized you from the flight. You made pleading eyes at him, hoping he would get the hint. Finally, a wide grin broke across his face and he turned to the driver.
“No problem,” he said, “she can come.”
You blew out a breath in relief, but to your dismay the driver just shook his head.
“Sorry Mr. Wong, I can’t take her unless she’s with you.”
You could see the gears turning in his head, his eyes shifting back and forth, before he suddenly threw his arm around your shoulder and pulled you against him. “She’s my girlfriend,” he announced, chin jutting in the air, almost as if he were challenging the driver to disagree with him.
The driver narrowed his eyes at you but you kept your face neutral, and finally he just shrugged.
“Fine with me, as long as you take responsibility for her.” He took your suitcase from you and started walking, obviously he was tired and wanted to go home, fed up with dealing with complications well past the end of his shift.
Mr. Wong fell in step beside you, and once the driver was out of earshot he extended his hand to you and whispered, “I’m Lucas, nice to meet you.”
“Y/N,” you smiled, shaking his hand and marveling at how big it was as it enveloped yours.
“We were on the same flight,” he said, smiling widely at you, and you nodded, face flushing as you remembered how you had given him flirtatious looks. “I remember you.”
“Yes, I remember you, too,” you answered, finding his smile was contagious as you looked at him. “Thanks for what you did back there. I really would’ve been stuck here if it wasn’t for you.”
“Oh no problem,” he said, swatting his hand in the air, “not good to stay here at night.”
You smiled, and he looked away shyly.
“Sorry my English isn’t good,” he said, rubbing a hand through his beautifully coiffed hair.
“Oh my god are you kidding? Your English is perfect,” Your compliment made him blush, and he giggled into his hand as you finally reached the car. He opened the door for you and you slid into the seat, and after stowing his suitcase in the trunk he slid in next to you.
The driver eyed the two of you suspiciously in the rearview mirror, because you were sitting so far from each other like strangers. So you inched a little closer to him, and when he noticed what you were doing he did the same, sliding an arm around your shoulder for good measure.
It should have been uncomfortable, cuddling with a complete stranger in the backseat of a car, but something about Lucas made you feel at ease. He pointed at landmarks, asked questions, engaged you in conversation despite his unease with the language. He even made jokes, laughing at them first before you could, and that made you laugh even harder.
At some point the ride lapsed into silence, and you suddenly felt very drowsy, the late night finally catching up with you. You rested your head against his shoulder, hoping he wouldn’t mind, since you were pretending to be his girlfriend, after all.
“Tired?” he asked, and you nodded. He tightened his hold around you then, and you found you liked his arm around you, a shiver running through your body at the feel of it. He thought you were cold, so he took his jacket and placed it on your lap, his hand resting on your thigh.
“Is it okay?” he asked, but the low timbre of his voice, his face so close to yours, and his hand, warm on your thigh, made a different kind of warmth flood through your body. The only way you could answer was to tug his bottom lip into your mouth.
His eyes widened momentarily, before he answered in kind, eyes closing as he kissed you back. His grip on your thigh tightened, and that, along with the heavenly way his mouth moved against yours, made you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down closer to you.
“Hey, hey, none of that in my car, please.” The driver said sternly, eyes hard as he looked at the two of you in the rearview mirror. You pulled away from each other, smiling shyly, but your insides were on fire, and his kisses only stoked the flame. He kept his hand on your thigh for the rest of the ride, applying just a little too much pressure than was necessary. By the time you reached the hotel you were surprised you hadn’t dampened the seat of the car with your arousal.
You watched the driver drive away after unloading you, realizing you didn’t have to pretend to be Lucas’ girlfriend anymore, feeling a twinge of regret at the thought of it. You turned to him to thank him and say your goodbyes, but he was looking at you with this look, like he wanted to say so much but didn’t know how.
“So, thank you, Lucas,” you began, holding out your hand for him to shake, but he just continued to look at you. You brought your hand down, picked up your suitcase and turned to walk into the hotel, but he stopped you with his hand on your arm.
“Hey, um,” he scratched the back of his head, eyes searching your face, “do you want a… drink, maybe? With me?”
You couldn’t help but smile, flattered at the invitation. You had been exhausted in the car but now you were wide awake, and a drink with Lucas would be a nice way to end your night.
“Sure,” you answered, “let’s go.”
“Great!” he said, his smile so dazzling you were momentarily blinded. He took your suitcase from you and carried it into the hotel along with his.
---
In the elevator you had both gone quiet again. The bar had been closed, and undeterred, Lucas had asked you if you wouldn’t mind having a drink with him in his room. You had agreed, despite your better judgment, but there was just something about him that you couldn’t resist. You walked to his room in silence, and he opened the door for you to let you in.
Once inside, your breath caught at the view from his room. It wasn’t your first time in Vegas, but the sight of the lights from the Strip always took your breath away. You went up to the window to marvel at the sight.
“Wow,” he said from behind you, his voice laden with awe.
“It’s your first time in Vegas, right?” you asked, still facing the window. He went to stand behind you, and you could feel the heat of his body on your back.
“Yes,” he answered softly, “it’s beautiful.”
You reached behind you and took his hand, placed it on your hip. He didn’t resist, just dipped his face close to your neck so you tilted your head to the side. “Y/N,” he breathed against your skin, raising goosebumps.
“Kiss me,” you whispered, and then you felt his lips, warm and soft on your neck. The sensation left you breathless, and you leaned your back against him. He put both hands on your hips now, as he continued to lavish your neck with kisses. When he hit your sweet spot you moaned, and his kisses got needier, until he was sucking on your skin. More moans tumbled out of your mouth, and then he was pressing himself hard against you.
“Y/N,” he said again, his breath coming out in harsh gasps, “is this okay?”
“Mm, please,” you answered, his actions rendering you boneless, “I want this, I want you.”
Your confession was clear to him, so he didn’t hold back. His large hands roamed over your body, his mouth still marking up your skin. You inhaled sharply when his hand went down your pants, under your panties, over your mound, long fingers swiping at the slick between your folds.
“Oh,” he groaned, “so wet.”
Your head lolled back onto his shoulder, and he turned your face to him so he could capture your lips. He kissed you, harder than he did in the car, his tongue in your throat. You gasped for air and he released your mouth, going back to sucking on your neck. He tugged at your shirt, pulling it off, unhooking your bra and freeing your breasts for him to fondle, tugging at your hardened nipples. You bit your lip at how fast he was moving, but you understood the urgency. Your pants and underwear followed in quick succession, and then you heard him undress behind you.
When you were both fully naked, he slipped a hand between your legs from behind, swirling your juices around before he slid a finger into your pussy. You moaned, and when he was satisfied with your reaction he slid another finger in. His long fingers reached your g-spot easily, and in no time you could feel the knot in the pit of your stomach forming.
“Oh god, oh Lucas,” you moaned, hands splayed on the window in front of you to ground yourself. You didn’t even care if anyone could see you, fairly certain that this kind of thing was a common occurrence in Vegas.
“Baby,” he said against your ear, “come for me.”
You came with a loud cry, head thrown back as he pumped his fingers one last time before removing them. You could hear him licking them clean, and then you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance.
“Tell me if I hurt you, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in agreement before he slid inside you.
He was big, which is what you had expected when you fantasized about him on the plane, but the stretch still made your breath catch in your throat. He went slowly, so slow that you could feel every inch of his cock spreading you apart. You started to pant as you took him in, and he peppered your back with kisses, as if to encourage you.
When he was all the way inside you he paused, still pressing soft kisses to your back. He didn’t move, waiting for you to say the word, and you had to marvel at his discipline.
Finally you felt you had adjusted to him enough, and you wiggled your hips. “You can move now,” you said, and you felt him smile against the back of your neck.
“I’ll go slow?” he asked, pulling out until only the tip was inside you. The slow drag of his cock was making you crazy. You wanted more.
“It’s okay, you can go hard,” you answered, and given permission, he didn’t hold back.
The force of his first thrust propelled you forward, your hands pressed against the window to prevent your face from plowing into it. His cock hit your g-spot repeatedly and with such force your mouth fell open, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Your entire body flooded with warmth, the knot in your stomach starting to form again as he pounded you ruthlessly from behind.
“You feel good,” he grunted, breath hot against the back of your neck, his thrusts never faltering as he held onto your hips. “So good.”
“Lucas, I’m gonna come!” you warned, the knot in your stomach threatening to burst.
“Come on then,” he said, and you did, pussy pulsing around his cock as you reached your high. He groaned loudly, fucking you through it, his pace never slowing. You didn’t have time to recover, because he reached around to rub your clit, his thrusts getting harder and faster, but more erratic.
“Oh Y/N,” he groaned, and he dropped his forehead to your shoulder, pulling you flush against him as he came. You cried out as you came for the third time that night, his last deep thrusts and his fingers on your clit sending you to your end.
You were both panting, the sound of your breathing filling the empty room, but soon you could hear him chuckling behind you.
“What’s so funny?” you asked, amused at the sound of his quiet laughter.
“They said Vegas was crazy, but I never expected this.”
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writing-in-april · 4 years ago
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Postmarked In The Past
Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader
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Summary: After sixteen years of no contact Reader reconnects with Spencer because she has to reveal the secret she’s been keeping since she stopped sending letters to him.
A/N: Hey heyyy! This is my sixteenth fic (it’s actually was totally unintentional to choose the 16th for this fic even though the daughter is 16 in this fic lol 😂) for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one is based off of this request and is part of my unlinked Spencer Reid & Letters series! Thanks for all the love and support lately- I was going to put out my plan for my 1500 follower celebration yesterday or today but if you saw my post I’ve been struggling so it’ll probably come on the 19th or the 20th. Submit an ask here- I love hearing from everyone 🥰Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy 🥰
Warnings: Reader keeps a huge secret she definitely shouldn’t have, Reader is a single mother-the daughter doesn’t have a specified name but she is specified to be 16, Reader is very defensive when her daughter finds the letters, mentions of a one night stand
Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.5k
Spencer had been a bright spot in my life, one that had been snuffed out all because of me. When I had found myself pregnant with his child, after I had visited him once, I bolted. For a long time I justified my actions, saying to myself that it was better that Spencer was unburdened while his career was just starting out. But, deep down I knew how wonderful Spencer would have been as a father, how he would have moved heaven and earth to make everything work. And, that guilt haunted me.
The memories I had of him were so far in between, every moment with him had been so fleeting at the end. I struggled to sometimes even remember how he looked as it had been sixteen years since I last laid eyes on him.
I had to strain my memory to remember the way his gelled hair curled around his ears and how sometimes I saw him let the curls free only around me. His eyes had been brown, I could remember that. But, pinpointing what shade they were when they glinted in the light or were drenched in the shadows was lost to me. I knew he had been tall and lanky, his hands reflecting that with how spindly they were. To remember how those fingers had felt on my skin, or how his lips had marked me, or how he would gently stroke my hair was too difficult. Whether it was because I couldn’t remember or that I didn’t want to, it was just too hard for me to want to try to strain my memory anymore.
The labor had been the most difficult thing I had gone through, no one had been there to hold my hand. And, I didn’t really want anybody else except Spencer holding it. I had gritted my teeth and accepted it, pushing through the physical and emotional pain, especially since the pain of losing Spencer had been entirely because of me. I had been given a beautiful baby daughter that day and it was then that I started to force myself to forget Spencer, she looked too much like him to be able to bear.
The only things that remained in my life that involved him were the letters I sent to him in the last year of our relationship while we were long distance and my daughter. The letters were able to be shoved in a box at the bottom of a closet, but my daughter confronted me with my actions everyday by existing. I loved my daughter very much, I just tried to avoid the topic of her father by concocting a lie and making myself forget all of Spencer’s features so I wouldn’t see them as much in her. My nightmare would be the two things converging to confront me with my guilt, I don’t think I could handle that.
—-
At the kitchen table I saw my daughter, holding a letter. Her holding a letter wasn’t at its core a bad thing of course, but I could tell by the slight yellowing of the paper that it was getting old. Immediately panic spread through me; there were no other old letters she’d be looking at besides mine, the ones I sent to Spencer.
“Those are private.” I snapped defensively, definitely too hostile to be reasonable. It was obvious by my tone of voice that I was hiding something.
“Private?!” She yelled, giving away that she had already read at least a few of them. I clenched my eyes shut to prepare for her question, “Are these from my father?! Who you said was a one night stand?!” I vividly remember explaining the lie I had concocted for her, her being confused why I would only be with her father once. It was a hard subject to dance around, a difficult lie for me and her to swallow. But, the alternative was too painful for me to be honest with her, or honest with Spencer. And, I knew it made me selfish, at the time it had been so Spencer wouldn’t stop his blossoming career. With time I realized that I really had done it because I had been scared. The guilt had started to sting worse when I realized that.
I had been caught, there was no weaseling out of this. I hanged my head in defeat, finally admitting to the large lie I had even roped the rest of my family in, “Yes.”
If she had been a dragon she’d be breathing fire on me while she spoke, “And why would you keep this from me! Did he do something bad or something?! Is that why you didn’t tell me?!”
“No-I-“ I stammered a few times until I found the words, “I- I did it because I didn’t want to hold him back… We were so young, and I knew he’d quit his new job across the country to come back to me.” Keeping the details still vague was my only armor right now. I kept to myself how those letters were the way we communicated for months when he started in the academy. We were only able to meet up once a month, and one month I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I never sent another letter or came to visit him again once I found out.
She clenched her jaw at me, looking back down at the scores of letters that we had written, and I had hidden. Her next question now made me clench my jaw, “C-can I see him? Or call him? Or send him a letter?” If you don’t know how to contact him anymore I’m sure we can-“
I was nervous as to where this was going. There was no way I could contact Spencer again after all these years, the guilt already ate at me everyday. Seeing and remembering his face would only make it worse. Fear was fueling me and I cut her off because of it, “No- I- I don’t think it’s a good idea...I just need more time- until I’m ready.” I started to shrink away from her, my authority slipping through my fingers as I became more and more vulnerable.
“You’ve waited sixteen years, you’ll never be ready.” The spite in her voice was stinging, she wasn’t completely wrong in her statement.. And when I didn’t answer she then stormed away, slamming the door to her room.
——
Our relationship in the few weeks following was strained at best, estranged at worse. She barely spoke to me since then, the biggest conversation we had was about what was for dinner- and that had been about two sentences long.
I was slowly coming around to the idea of perhaps finding a way for her and Spencer to reconnect. The guilt that I had been so afraid of becoming worse if I confronted it head on, only grew worse by avoiding it. I was actually going to talk to her after I got home from work, until I realized what she did.
She left her own letter on the table titled Dear Mom, detailing where she was going without giving any specifics. There was one part that gave her reasoning for writing her plan down, she didn’t want me to have a heart attack even if she was mad at me. Plus there were a few sentences about how she had used her own money that she had been saving up, which was supposed to be for college only serving to make you even more frustrated. At the bottom she wrote- I’m going to find my Dad, please don’t follow me or call the police.
I scoffed to myself, wondering if she expected her warning to not to follow her to be followed. Of course I was going to follow her, there was no way I was going to just let her go off on her own like that.
It wouldn’t be too hard to find her. Spencer may have changed apartments since then, but one quick google search of news articles he was mentioned in showed me that he still worked at the BAU in Quantico. It was probably a safe bet that my daughter did the same thing and was planning on visiting him at his office.
The plane ride there had been tumultuous, not in the sense that there was any chaotic occurrence or severe turbulence on the plan, more like in my mind. My hands shook, my foot tapped, and my mind raced while I took the long flight from Las Vegas all the way to Quantico. My mind went round in circles whether or not I viewed Spencer meeting my daughter- our daughter as a good thing. It was difficult to accept that even though they’d both most likely be mad at me, they deserved to meet. Especially since I knew how good of a father Spencer could potentially be. Once I had landed I didn’t stop, getting a cab straight from the airport to where the BAU offices were located.
The building looked daunting in front of me. It wasn’t a skyscraper by any means, but the task that I was here to do was so big it felt like one as I stared at it while trying to work up the courage to go in. The guilt however, was too hard to ignore.
My mind was on autopilot as I told the secretary at one of the front desks. It was too stressful to focus on worrying, so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I was riding. An agent had assured me that she was safe which made some of the stress melt from my shoulders luckily.
“Here she is.” The agent gestured to the office, empty of any other person except my daughter. I felt even more relieved now that I saw her with my own eyes.
When I entered she waited a second before speaking timidly with disappointment, “He’s not here, he's on a case.” Her demeanor had deflated almost immediately as she saw me escorted up.
“Who told you that?” My arms crossed around my chest, nervous and furious all at once. I didn’t need to tell my daughter how in trouble she was, by the pout on her face she knew she’d be getting grounded for a long time even if I did let her talk to him.
“This nice lady named Garcia, she works with him. But, she did tell me I had to wait for you until she called him” For the first time since I had read her letter to me I cracked a smile. When we had still been communicating, Spencer often wrote and spoke about his teammates. Besides a fleeting photo of the team shown to me by him while I had been over here visiting, all my perceptions of the team and how they might look were all based on my imagination.
Despite that, when a vibrantly dressed woman clicked her heels into the room, I knew it was her. Spencer had perfectly described her, shining bright compared to the dull colors of the bureau’s office.
“So your Spencer’s baby mama.” Yep, she was definitely as blunt and beautiful as Spencer had described. I blanched at her comment, though I didn’t deny it, which was all she needed to know to confirm.
“Can you give me his number?” I skittered past the question, not wanting to confirm it out loud.
She beamed brightly at me, already starting to punch in the numbers with the phone on the desk in front of me. “You can call him now if you want on this phone, they just stopped working for the day.”
When she handed me the phone, it had already started ringing. I couldn’t help but panic, almost refusing the phone until my daughter nudged me forward to grab it. My finger trembled severely as I wrapped my hands around the phone, but I still managed to hold on to bring it up to my ear just as someone picked up the phone.
“Hello?” It was him, he sounded so similar to the boy you knew, that boy was a man now. He sounded more haggard compared to sixteen years ago; I wondered what all had happened since then.
“Hey- Spencer it’s me.” By the hitch in his voice that came through the speaker, he knew who it was.
At first I heard nothing from him, only some rustled feedback in the speaker. My shoulders were practically at my ears now afraid he might hang up. He did eventually stumble out a greeting, “H-hi? Why are you calling me after all these years- aaand on a phone at my work?”
“I’ve got to be honest with you,” I cryptically answered with an evident shake in my voice. I was biting my nails now, not caring if I chipped the polish on them. My daughter grabbed my hand to comfort me even though she was probably still furious at me which helped coax out my next statement, “cause I haven’t told you why I stopped talking to you…” I breathed in deeply once before I finally admitted the secret I had held for so many years, “Spencer, you have a daughter, she just turned sixteen.”
Dead silence was all I got, that was until I heard a choked out sob from him, “Why?”
He didn’t need to elaborate any further, it was quite clear what he was asking. Again another meek shaky reply came from me, “There were a lot of reasons- the main one was I didn’t want to hold you back.”
My daughter was now crying as was I, I hadn’t given her my reasoning until now. Maybe one day I’d give Spencer all the reasons why I had hidden it from him for so many years even though it was painful. I had held a lot of guilt about not ever contacting him again or even sending another letter. Spencer deserved to know everything, especially about his daughter who was the spitting image of him in almost every way.
“Can I talk to her?” I agreed, which seemed to surprise my daughter. I think she thought I’d be furious enough with her to not let her speak to him. She would still be getting many privileges taken away from her, just not this one as it was my fault she never knew her father in the first place. My fingers shook even more as I moved to click the speaker button so he could hear her speak.
“Hi- dad.” They spoke for a while, while I took the back seat, barely interjecting. They both deserved every ounce of father and daughter time that I had deprived them from throughout the years. My chest did feel lighter now that I had told him, now that my daughter was getting the chance to know him. Hearing them laugh and giggle with each other almost immediately only cemented how much she was her father’s daughter.
When the phone was handed back to me, after seemingly hours of talking (Garcia had even popped in a few times to get me more coffee) Spencer asked,“Can you stay in Quantico till I get back?”
I smiled, happy that I’d finally be able to see and remember his face again after all this time, “We’ll be here waiting, it’s time you meet your daughter in person.”
Ask Me Anything
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muffindaddystyles · 4 years ago
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HUSBAND!HARRY HEADCANONS (NSFW+)
He'd be an excited puppy at his wedding day. Getting emotional to an extent he'd stutter his vows only to shove his face into his palms out of shyness and hug you making everyone laugh and hoot.
At the after party would be pulling you close by wrist whispering dirty things and sweet nothings not forgetting to mention of Mr/Mrs. Styles each time.
Danced and drink his arse off making you sneak with the whines that he can't wait anymore to take you instead knacker out the moment he touches the mattress.
Would apologise in the morning with room service, his mouth and fingers.
Would be smothering you in loud wet kisses when you'd dress up to go outside with him.
Wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself even in public and steal pecks when no-one's watching. The whole time lacing his fingers in between yours, swaying them when walking through streets of italy and kissing each knuckle with a smile worming up.
You would drag him to local food stalls and have an eating competition with him. In the end when you'd get too lazy would be all pouty and doe eyes asking him to pick you up.
Alot of love making. Like alot it would make you cancel plans of next day.
Lazying around the suite in Styles embroidered robes.
He'd have flowers bought to you every morning. Pastel heart shaped boxes of different chocolates. He's too romantic. It rots your teeth.
Would have tea in the evening at hotel's balcony.
If you'd be two feets away from somewhere outside he'd call you "wifey/hubby" to gain your attention. The cocky bastard he's would point at you when everyone would smile at the new couple fondly.
You'd groan at the airport stomping your feet because he bulked up so much luggage due to his habit of drooling over every decoration piece, "'m sorry! Kay? I'll ask Jeff to figure something out." He'd give you sheepish smile and it always does wonders.
Coming back home you'd give eachother back rubs and shoulder messages which soon turns into a hard fuck.
He'd book spas for you stating he wishes that you don't find him a boring husband.
Would proudly introduce you to everyone as his life partner tucking you by his side knowing you get socially akward in the crowds.
Would help you in the kitchen in burning pots and pans squealing to have a run when you'd get grumpy. Would come to bed after scrubbing them nicely and you'd jump in his lap telling it's okay and rewarding him with kisses.
The first big fight you'd have would lit up from the stupidest reason. Could be from fact he didn't like the fictional character you love so much and you mock him that he always does this leading it to a huge fight that he doesn't love you. Making him sleep at the couch only to crawl to him in the wee of night and he'd just sprawl his arm for you to cuddle into him without a word.
Would look at lil toddlers and wrap his arms around you, chin on your shoulder exclaiming "we'll make beautiful babies one day too."
Would help you in laundry moreso his opportunity to stare your ass and tease you. Making you sit at the dryer to watch you thrash with vibrations while he does nothing but kiss you everywhere except where you need him most to annoy you.
Would sternly tell you to give a resign to your job as they treat you bad.
Would ask someone in his rich friends circle for your job and it would be the cause of your guys first serious fight where you don't talk to him for days, then when you'll cry softly in his arms "do you think 'm not capable of getting a job that you'd have to ask your friends?" So innocently it breaks his heart and he smooches kisses at your forehead with sorrys that it wasn't his intention at all.
Would have lavender and salt baths running for eachother after a hectic day.
Would share excited news with eachother first.
He'd make you listen his songs and would be all giddy fumbling with the hem of your cardigan. When you'd sob his head would perk up like a pup and he'd wipe your tears only for you to ask, "Wait. How did you write such a sad breakup song? We had our fights but they weren't thatttt serious." Then he'd just slip under duvet to hide and you'd throw it away slithering up his chest to suffocate him. "Harry!!! You bitch I'll kill you!!" He'd just laugh out loud trying to cup your cheeks and kiss you.
Would drag you late nights to have ice-cream parlour visits.
When he'd get sick would make you stay with him in bed all day. Follow you to kitchen wrapped in blankets and when you'd scold would slump. Look so cute with those teary eyes it's hard to ignore him.
Would give you mischievous glare and dimpled smile while writing from Mr and Mrs Styles on presents or something to gift.
He could be very messy and dirty sometimes. You'd throw his soggy socks at his face from the floor and he'd just dodge them with a snarky retort.
You guys would gossip with eachother while watching telly. He'd have imaginary feuds with your rude co-workers and would snap his finger while chewing on pringles in a loud voice, "Brent and Vroe are fucking. Mark my words."
When you'd scream "Harry Styles I hate you!" He'd just grin from far smacking a flying kiss. "Too bad darlin' ye're stuck with your enemy."
He'd try to be the best husband for you because when Harry loves someone he loves with each drop of his blood.
When you'd be away from home for sometime and come back to surprise him finding your house a cluster fuck he'd be like "don't be mad. I know I'm too lazy and it's a bummer.'
On the wedding anniversary he'd try to be the most romantic. Making you count each day to the amount you'd get annoyed.
Would have a tattoo for you inked on himself.
While trying to have a baby he'd be the filthiest. Would keep your legs raised and when you'd whine would sush with you kisses.
Fuck you in every corner of the house to claim you his's with marks and love bites, "do you think we did this time?" He'd huff face hidden in the crook of your neck.
Make brekkies and have dances when the vinyl is on low hum.
Would take you to Taylor Swift's concerts knowing how much you love her. Have a blast and would give you a piggie ride when it ends.
He'd look sick from anxiousness while taking pregnancy test and when it comes out positive would shrink like a shrimp and sob out loud instead of hugging you. You'd just roll your eyes laying beside him taking his face and making him look at him, "We're pregnant." His nose red and cheeks stained. "We are." You'd grin kissing him.
Next morning you'd be treated with delcious brekkie, a nice sloppy morning sex, in the shower too and a bouquet of flower with a note "To the mother of my baby."
He'd record everything on his camera roll. Each day. Your routine. Your bump. With his side cheeky commentary, "Hi me lil bunny look you're growing. Can't wait to have you in me arms. Mama's glowin'."
Would take maternity break for himself to be with you through these months.
Would gobble junk with you knowing you'd be guilty afterwards.
Would massage your feet before sleeping, fill hot water bottles, and have a whole night stand's cupboard full of your night cravings.
"How Chelsea sounds?" He'd quip from behind the baby names book, "I can't tell if you're serious." You'd blink and when his expressions remains same you'd cry. "Harry you love Chelsea boots so much doesn't mean you could name your child that!!" Then it turns into a long lecture. "Yeah, can't wait for our baby boy to be named Tom Ford cause his daddy's favourite perfume–" But he shut you up with a soft kiss and murmurs to relax.
He'd have his babies feet imprints inked on his bicep. (Sobs he'd be that kind of a dad)
Would be stoic on his descion to build all of his baby's furniture himself.
Would come up with creative ideas for baby shower.
When doctors would call him to cut the cord he'd be shivering and would probably knock his knees at the sight.
He'd be dressing up his kids in matching outfits as him. It would be super cute!!
You'd complain that he bribes his kids to drift to his side but he'd just make sure to let you know how lucky he's to have you. The person who gives him reason to live every day and his anchor.
He probably would be an embarrassing dad.
His daughter's friend's would tell her how hot he's and she'd tell him as a gossip.
He'd tease his son if he'd catch him masturbating on accident, "No worries buddy we all do it."
Ok this's the only I could think of right now. Feel free to add more with reblogs !!!! Wanna hear all of yours cause I'm bored lol.
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undyingskies · 4 years ago
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Germany
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        Request: yes, “Could you do a Owen x reader (you make the best Owen fanfics lol) where he takes you to Germany to meet his family that lives over there☺️”
A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this request! I currently have two other Owen fics in the works and have a Charlie one as well!
Warnings: None
———————————
“Okay, so you have everything? Your wallet, passport, keys?” You ask Owen as your finishing up folding the last of your clothes. Boy has it been a task getting not only your suitcase but Owen’s as well under 50 pounds for your 3-week trip.
“Yes, keys and wallet are in my pocket and my passport is in your purse along with your passport.” Your boyfriend says a smile on his face, gathering your other bags to put in the car.
After almost a year of dating, Owen decided it was time for you to meet the rest of his family. The rest of his family being in Germany. You were nervous and hesitant at first but not only did Owen assure you it would be fine, his mom did as well. That did make you feel a lot better.
Of course you were excited to get to go to Germany and explore the country with the love of your life, it was just meeting the family what made you nervous.
“You ready to go babe?” Owen asks you, just as your zipping up the last suitcase.
“Yessir.” You say with a smile on your face. He grabs the last bag and you’re out the door.
His mom offered to drive you guys to the airport so you wouldn’t have to pay for parking. It gets really expensive. Owen hops in the backseat, giving you the front seat with his mom.
“Are you guys ready, excited?” She asks the two of you.
“Oh for sure! Nervous, but excited!” You tell her, she gives you a soft smile and you feel Owen place his hand on your shoulder.
“It’s going to be great! You have nothing to be nervous about, they already love you from our stories.” You smile back to her. A soft silence falling over the three of you for the rest of the ride to the airport.
You were quick to hop out the car, trying to help Owen pull the bags out of the trunk but at his refusal you stopped. You and his mom stood side by side as he grabbed the last of the bags.
She’s quick to pull Owen into a hug saying goodbye, copying those exact movements with you as well.
“Don’t worry hunny, it’s gonna be great.” She whispers into your ear, giving your back a slight rub.
You smile up at her, as Owen grabs your hand, pulling you into the airport. He gives his mom a wave goodbye with his free hand.
“Bye Mom, thanks again for driving us. I’ll give you a call when we land and see you in 3 weeks.”
“Bye honey.” She yells back.
Owen’s hand, still in yours, as you make your way through check in and towards security.
The line is long, you place your head on Owen’s shoulder as you wait. His arm coming up and around your shoulders, pulling you in closer. He places a kiss to your forehead.
“We’ll be through this soon and in Germany before you know it. I can’t wait.” You can see the excitement in his eyes and hear it in his voice.
He was right, once you made it through security, time started to fly. You guys bought some snacks and water bottles for the long flight.
Before you knew it, you’re sat in your seats on the plane waiting for take off. Owen’s knees nervously bouncing, knocking into yours. You laugh a little at his nervousness and place your hand on his knee hoping it’ll help him calm down. He smiles at you while placing his hand on top of yours.
“I thought I was supposed to be the nervous one.” You laugh leaning in to give him a kiss.
“I just don’t like the take off part, the rest I’m excited for.” He leans in for one more kiss, then pulls you into his side. Your head laying on his shoulder. Your hand rubbing his knee and his your shoulder. He starts to hum a tune to some song; you can’t quite place right now. His humming lulling you into a sleep.
Your shook awake, almost violently. Your eyes peek open and you see an excited Owen looking at you.
“Y/N, baby, we’re here.” He says excitedly, you rubbing your eyes getting the sleep out of them.
“I slept that whole time?”
“Yep, you did, now it’s time to get your butt moving so we can get off this plane.” He laughs, pulling at your hands. You laugh at his antics.
“Alright, slow your roll there. Give me a second.” You tell him.
He rolls his eyes at you, but still smiling. He really is dying to get off this plane. When the time comes for you to move out of your isle Owen is grabbing your hand and practically pulling you off the plane.
You know he loves Germany and missed his family here. He talked about it all the time. He told you stories of where he lived in Germany when he was little, and about his friends and family there. He never had one bad thing to say about it.
He’s still pulling you through the airport and abruptly stops once you two made it to luggage. Owen still bouncing off the walls.
The moment he sees your bags making their way around the loop, he drops your hand and runs over to yank them off. Almost hitting people in the process, he’s moving so quick due to his excitement.
You go to join his side, placing your hand on his arms.
“Let’s calm down before you take someone out with our bags.” You laugh while reaching over to grab your last bag.
“Alright. I am going to go get the car and then we can head to my Aunt’s house. It’s gonna take about an hour to get there from here, so we still have a little time.”
You nod at his words and follow him to where you guys will get your car. Your left standing alone on the sidewalk as you wait for him to pull up with the car.
You see the grey call pulling up to the sidewalk. You grab the handles of both suitcases pulling them to the back side of the car, getting ready to lift them into the trunk.
“ Eyy, no, you move.” Owen shoos you out of the way, grabbing the bags shoving them into the trunk. You roll your eyes at his antics.
“You know O, I am quite capable to lift my own suitcase.”
“I know, I know, but what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you do that?” Your heart does a little jump at his words. He really was a gentleman. You lean in to give him a kiss before you jump into the passenger seat, preparing for the drive ahead of you.
“So we’re going to your aunt’s house?” You ask trying to make sure you have an idea of what family members you will be meeting first.
“Correct. She is the one we’re staying with. She has the two kids, boy and girl.” He tells you.
“Got it, so your Aunt Anne and your Uncle Mark and the two kids are Sam and Ally?”
“Also correct. You’ve got a good memory Y/L/N. I think a few of my other cousins will be there as well, just to say hi and welcome us.” He tells you with a smile. Your nerves increasing a little, knowing you have to meet a handful of his family at once.
He senses your nerves and places his hand on your thigh giving it a squeeze.
“It’s gonna be fine and you’re gonna do great.” He smiles at you.
“Plus we’re here so you gotta throw those nerves out the window.”
As he says those words, he’s turning the corner pulling onto a property. You’ve never seen something so beautiful, there is a house right in the middle, not too big or small. The driveway is a loop and, on all sides, there are beautiful trees and plants. You’re completely in awe of it.
Owen can’t help but look at you as you admire the scenery in front of you. His heart leaping at the look on your face, he’s can’t help but fall just that much more in love with you in that moment.
He’s pulled out of his thoughts as his door is swung open and he is face to face with his aunt.
“Oh Owen, look at you! It’s been so long. You look like a real adult.” She laughs, which causes Owen to do so as well. She pushes him out of the way to get to you.
“And you must be the famous Y/N. It’s so nice to meet you.” She says pulling you into a hug.
“It’s nice to meet you too Mrs. Joyner.”
“Oh please, call me Anne.” She tells you smiling down at you and grabbing your hand to pull you inside. Seems to be a family trait.
“Let’s get you inside now, Owen can get your bags.” You laugh.
“Thanks Aunt Anne. Appreciate the help.” You hear Owen laugh.
“Sam, Mark, go help Owen with their stuff.” She yells once she steps into the house. Her still leading you by your hand through the house.
She stops once the two of you reach the kitchen. In the kitchen there is a young girl sitting at the island and a group of people around your age and a little older.
“Everyone, Y/N, Y/N, everyone.” Anne says smiling.
Everyone is quick to their feet introducing themselves, each one of them pulling you into a hug. They all begin to ask you questions, which you happily answer. They all were so nice and sweet, ready and happy to learn more about you. They were also quick to tell you stories of their family and Owen when he was younger. You already felt at place here.
You catch the young girl still sitting at the island alone and looking at you shyly.
You walk up to her and bend down a little so the two of you are face to face.
“Hi, I’m Y/N! You must be Ally.” You say with a smile on her face. She looks up at you with a small smile.
“How’d you know?” She asks shyly.
“Well you know Owen talks about you guys a lot and between us, he says you’re the coolest one.” She giggles at your words, a wider smile taking over her face.
“Really?” She asks.
“Yes, really. It’s our secret though so shhh.” You say putting a finger to your lip and sending her a wink. She laughs at you and goes in to give you a hug.
You look over and see Anne smiling at you, one of those really wide smiles where you can just see the happy radiating off of the person.
“Owennnnn!!” You hear everyone yell at once, upon Owen walking into the kitchen.
“Hi guys.” He says smiling, giving each of them a hug. “It’s great seeing you guys again!”
He walks over to you, pulling you in close to his side. Sending Ally a wave.
“I assume you’ve all met Y/N?” He asks and he gets a resounding yes from everyone. He smiles.
“Owen, can Y/N come play with me?” Ally asks him, tugging at his hand.
“Of course she can, but you should ask her!” He says smiling at the young girl, who then turns to you with hopeful eyes.
“I would be honored to play with you Ally.” You tell her smiling; she too is quick to grab your hand and pull you towards where you assume her toys are.
Ally shows you all her toys, she has dolls and mini horses. She shows you how she has a house for her dolls and a stable for the horses.
She quickly asks you to play a game of family with her dolls. Of course you do. The little girl has the sweetest imagination.
Little did you know that Owen and Anne were in the doorway watching the two of you. Sweet smiles were gracing both of their faces. Little did you know that Ally was an incredibly shy girl, she didn’t warm up to many people and when she did it took a long time.
Ally was always Owen’s favorite and Owen always hers. It was really important to Owen that the person he was with got along with her. He didn’t bring it up to you though because he did know how shy Ally was and didn’t want to make you more nervous than you already were.
“She’s a keeper Owen.” He hears his Aunt whisper to him. She was watching him watch the two of you and she never saw Owen look at a person the way he did you. She could see the love in his eyes.
He smiles at his aunt.
“I think so.” He says back to her. She smiles up at him.
“Well dinner is almost ready so how about you go get those two girls and let them know.” She tells him. “Oh and also, we already love her. She won Ally over in about .2 seconds so you know she won everyone else over faster than that.” She smiles and places her hand on his shoulder.  He smiles back at her and giving her hand a squeeze, before he makes his way to the two of you.
Owen bends down to sit next to the both of you.
“So what’s going on over here?” He asks.
“Y/N is the sister and I am the baby, she’s helping me ride my horse.” She tells Owen smiling.
“Oh wow, that sounds like fun! Is she a good helper?” He asks, getting a nod from the girl who is quick to go back to her game.
“Well girls, dinner is almost ready and it’s time for us to go sit down.” He lets the two of you know. Ally hops onto her feet and grabs your hand.
“Will you sit next to me Y/N?”
“Of course sweet girl.” You tell her smiling, before she can lead you into the dining room, Owen speaks up.
“Ally you go ahead, I’m going to steal Y/N really quick, but I promise I will make sure she sits next to you still.” He tells her, bending down to make eye contact with her. She nods her head okay and runs off to the table.
“What’s up O?” You asks him, as he pulls you into him by your waist. Your hands immediately going up to wrap around his neck. He doesn’t say anything for a second, he just smiles down at you.
“I just wanted my girlfriend alone for a second is all.” Owen says, as he leans down to connect your lips. You melt into the kiss. You pull apart and lay your head on his chest, enjoying the hug.
“They already love you; you know?” He says whispering into your hair, leaving a kiss on top of your head.
“Really?”
“Yes really, and you really won Ally over.” He says.
“Well she’s a sweet girl.” You say as you pull him a little tighter against your body. Just happy to be in this moment with him.
“Okay you two love birds, it’s time for dinner.” Aunt Anne tells the both of you from the doorway, smiling at the scene in front of her.
Owen bends down to give you one more kiss before he leads you to the dining area. Where you take your seat next to Ally, smiling, and Owen taking the spot next to you.
You can’t help but smile a little bigger when he places his hand on your thigh with a squeeze. This is about to be the best 3 weeks; you think to yourself.
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bunnie-the-lighthouse · 4 years ago
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𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊
Pairing: ATEEZ Park Seong-Hwa & Reader
Warnings: It Is Very Long, I Curse At The End, And It’s Suggestive So . > . 
Inspiration: This Was Actually Requested! (But I Added Some Of My Braincells So Some Of Them Were Sacrificed)
Requested By: @bonbonhwa​ -- Thank You So Much!~
Basic Idea: Anniversary!~~ Established Couple, First Time Having It. 
Type: Fluff & Suggestive (First Time Doing A Combo!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
“Hmm? Hyung, what are you doing?” Yun-Ho asked as he peaked and saw Seong-Hwa entering a few websites. He didn’t see them clearly but his eyes were able to catch the silhouettes of notes, hearts, chocolates, hotel bedrooms, and flowers.
Seong-Hwa flinched and turned off his phone, placing it in his pocket while clearing his throat. His cheeks softly flushed with a shade of pink as Yun-Ho chuckled. “I see~ Is something special going on?” he asks as the elder nods.
“(Y/N) and I are going to celebrate our anniversary next week..” he responded while smiling softly, remembering the first time you both met. It was sort of anti climatic but it is definitely a good time to remember.
To summarize it, you guys get back in 2019. You were a foreign University Student studying in Japan and Seong-Hwa was there because of KCON. You both met accidentally when you bumped into him in a hotel -- he was staying there while you were there for a conference.
You guys were then friends for a very long time -- maybe three to four years. It proceeded until the day that he couldn’t take it anymore and kissed you. 
Unfortunately, you were still unprepared as you believed that he already had some crush on another girl who was an idol. Plus, you were finishing your Bachelor’s Degree.
You did like him. A lot. He also did, which is why he was a bit discouraged by your reaction after the kiss -- shy and worried. You then expressed your worries and ended it with a joke; “Ask me to be your girlfriend on Christmas Day”. And he did so, taking your joke seriously. But that is how you both started dating.
“Interesting~~” Woo-Young hummed as the eldest sighed out, knowing that the youngers were going to tease him. “Does Manager already know about this?” Yun-Ho asked as Seong-Hwa nodded, “He does, I’m a bit sad that I won’t be able to celebrate Christmas with you guys and ATINY though..” he trailed off as Hong-Joong entered the room and patted his back.
“It’s ok, we all understand why Christmas is such an important date for you,” he comforted as the older smiled…
At Incheon Airport, Seong-Hwa was waiting for you. He was a bit impatient, looking around sporadically to see if he could spot you before you spot him. He looked down at the watch that you gave him the first time you celebrated his birthday.
He then looked up and saw you walking out, looking at the opposite side, seemingly looking for him too. He quickly walked over to you, and tapped your shoulder. You turned around, beamed and hugged him tightly as he chuckled at your reaction.
“Hwa!” you squeal as he hugs you back. Your head was leaning on his chest, making you hear his heart softly thump. He then petted your hair softly, wanting to kiss you but being unable to because of the mask that you both were wearing. “I missed you,” you coo as you look up to him, he then gives you a sweet eye smile -- the same eye smile that made you fall in love with him. “I missed you too, babygirl,” he whispers, making you feel butterflies in your stomach.
You guys then reached an amusement park, Seong-Hwa’s Manager leaving your suitcases at the hotel. “C’mon,” Seong-Hwa called as he held your hand tightly, “I know you wanted to reminisce about your childhood and to have fun after your stressful exams,” he smiles as you fake cry. Your cry sounded real, making Seong-Hwa get worried, turning around to see you.
“Hwa!~~” you cried out, hugging him, making him notice how you were acting. He sighed in relief, flicking the top of your head softly, “Don’t scare me,” he chuckled as you laughed. “Thank you, Seong-Hwa,. I didn’t know what to get you..” you looked down as he looked at you with soft eyes.
“Baby.. Look at me,” he said while lifting your face up by your chin, “You being my side is already a gift,” finished, making you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him. He softly gasped, as you caught him off guard. However, he quickly kissed you back, and later you pulled away -- holding his hand again. “Let’s go!~” you said excitedly as it had been a long time since you’ve had fun.
You guys went on a carousel, ate cotton candy, took a quick break while visiting an aquarium and even drank some hot chocolate in the cafe that was in it. As sunset came by, Seong-Hwa basically became a cuddle bear. He walked behind you while wrapping his long coat around you. Supposedly it was “too cold” for you, and even though you were fine with the cold, you didn’t say anything as you missed his hugs.
The last ride that you guys took was the Ferris Wheel. You knew about Seong-Hwa’s fear of heights, which is why you asked him if he really wanted to. “I want to, because I want you to be happy.” he said firmly, which made your heart skip a beat. You smiled at him as he rubbed your head softly.
In the Ferris Wheel, you sat beside Seong-Hwa, holding his hand all the time. As the capsule that you guys were in reached the very top, the sun shone right into you guys. You then took this chance to calm him down by kissing him sweetly.
He immediately responded, kissing you back with the same softness and passion, holding your hand ever so slightly tighter. You then used one hand to cup his cheek, the warmth of your hand making his heart burst in joy. You both then leaned on each other’s forehead, breathing out softly as the capsule slowly descended.
At the hotel room, you walked out of the bathroom, seeing Seong-Hwa in the bathrobe, drying his hair with a towel while the bed was covered with the petals of your favorite flower. “Hwa?” you asked as he smiled at you, “Do you like it?” he asked while patting the spot beside him.
You nodded, sitting behind him. “Let me dry your hair,” you said as he hummed. You then grabbed onto the towel, softly rubbing the water droplets off his hair. It was a silent and sweet moment, which was cut off shortly when Seong-Hwa turned around.
“.. You know I love you a lot.. Right?” he whispered as you nodded, slowly, fear creeping and engulfing your body. He then kissed your forehead, his left hand cupping your left cheek while his right hand guided your left hand to his heart. You felt it beating, quickly and strongly. You felt his aura go confident yet soft and fiery. You were confused.
He then smiled, “Is it ok.. If I make you mine.. Tonight?” he asked as it caught you off guard, making your cheeks feel heated. “H-Huh?” you questioned as he smiled, “Like this,” he whispered -- his lips connecting to yours like magnets. Fireworks went off in your hearts, the heat slowly rising as your lips danced like a waltz, in sync and gracefully.
He slowly pushed you back to the bed, pinning both of your hands with one of his. Kissing your neck and nibbling on it softly, making you gasp at the new feeling. He kept on kissing, trying to find your sweet spot. After a small second, he found it, making you moan out, feeling more fireworks burst in your heart.
He smiled against your neck, sucking on the spot to create a mark on you. “Seong-Hwa!~” you moaned out as he then pulled away, looking down at the bright red mark. “Are you okay?” he asked as you nodded. He then freed your hands from his grasp, ready to sit back up, feeling that you were unprepared.
However, you caught him before he left, wrapping your arms around his neck. You then looked away, a bit scared yet prepared. “Seong-Hwa.. Please?..” you whispered out, catching his attention. “Yes?” he teased as your cheeks felt heated. You closed your eyes, being unable to answer him. “So, I have your permission?” he whispered in your ear as you shivered from his breath.
“Yes..” you answered as he smiled. “Thank you for trusting me, babygirl,” he said, kissing your forehead softly while he untied your bathrobe’s ribbon. You squeaked, covering yourself before he parted the bathrobe. He chuckled at your reaction, “Don’t worry.. I won’t bite.. Do you want a safety word?” he asked as you gulped. “I.. I think I will be fine..” you whispered out as you slowly moved your hands away.
Seong-Hwa then cupped your left cheek, caressing your cheek and proceeding to kiss you again. His other hand massaged your tummy, making you feel the tingles. He then pulled away, his black marbles showcasing multiple emotions -- love, happiness, lust, and passion.
He untied his bathrobe, as you sat up, slipping out of yours. “I.. Want you,” you said confidently as he smiled.
“Babygirl, there aren’t enough words for me to express how much I love you.. This is only our second anniversary -- our second year of being a couple but I am sure that in the future, I want to be the man that puts that ring on your finger and call you my wife.. Are you ready, my love?..” ..
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~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hello~~ I am finally back momentarily lol.
I had a rough two weeks because of Quarter Exams and I had multiple mental and emotional breakdowns but I was able to push myself back up so it’s all good.
For the person that requested it, I hope you enjoyed it! It was a bit hard to combine both the Fluff and Suggestive -- I tried my best! 
(Please also bear in mind that school has fucked me up so I ain’t doing too well but I’ll slowly recuperate and bring back more stuff for you guys!)
HOWEVER -- I was also able to get better because ATEEZ CAMEBACK
Like holy shit. 
They chose violence. 
All in all they all fucken crushed it. It was amazing to see ‘em perform and it was great to hear Min-Gi in it. I hope that he is still resting and getting better! I’m sure he’ll be back with the boys soon. 
San brought back his demon, so did Seong-Hwa (these two fellas killed me with their facial expressions and vocals). Yun-Ho in all black was a blessing. Center and Black Hair Yeo-Sang was supreme. Hong-Joong’s new hairstyle in the MV was cool. Jong-Ho’s vocals!~ Woo-Young and his sexiness. Like. Violence. They chose Violence. 
Overall, I loved everything about this comeback. Take Me Home is beautiful as fuck and I love this entire album. 
Hopefully y’all have been taking care of yourselves, take breaks when you need them, drink water and I hope y’all have a good day, afternoon, or evening!~
Use your imagination!~~
Thank you for the support, leave requests, and have a great day!
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wannabemobwife · 4 years ago
Text
Guns, Glamour, Goodfellas - Chapter 12
Chapter 12: Make You Feel My Love
Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader
-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield
-Warnings: Amnesia, Sadness, Language, Fluff, Dialogue, Typos
-Words: 6.6K
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A/n: Sorry this chapter is long. Heads up, always a lot of dialogue. I get tired of only writing imagery lol. Thanks for reading, I love all your comments so dearly.
Chapter 12: Make You Feel My Love
Words: 6.6K
Everyone’s faces stood emotionless. More than a deer caught in headlights, there was no expression. Tom’s jaw slacked open, standing heartbroken in front of you. How could you not remember him?
After everything he couldn’t even hold you in his arms. No words could describe the room. You had just woken up and said 3 measly words that rewrote history.
“Who are you?” You questioned.
“What?” Tom gasped, his eyes starting to water.
“I don’t know who you are. Where am I?… Who are you people?” You fretted, confused to why you were lying into a hospital bed surrounded by strangers.
“Mom? It’s me. Roo,” Rosie stammered, moving to grab your hand but you just flinched away.
“Harry go get the doctor,” Nikki called out.
“No, I don’t know who you people are. Please get out.”
“Y/N it’s me?” Tom pleaded.
“Who’s Y/N?”
“You, darling,” Tom whispered. Was this all real? It had to be some sick joke.
“No, no! I suggest you all leave. Please, just leave me alone,” you asserted, pressing the nurse call button.
“Mrs. Holland what seems to be the problem?” asked the nurse.
“Who’s Mrs. Holland? I don’t know where I am or why I’m here or who these people are,” you fretted, heart rate starting to spike.
“You don’t recognize anyone here?” Pestered on the nurse.
“No, maybe the young boy and girl, but no,” Tears flooded Rosie and Parker’s eyes.
“Mrs. Holland you’re awake,” called the doctor, Harry brought in.
“Why do people keep calling me that?” You questioned angrily.
“She can’t remember anyone, doctor,” explained the nurse.
“Why don’t we clear out the room and I’ll speak to you all privately outside,” the doctor announced.
“It seems she is suffering retrograde amnesia. It is possibly temporary. You need to talk to her but be careful not overwhelm her. She will feel like her entire life passed her by because she can’t remember it. For now, only a few people in the room. May I suggest her husband and her kids,” explained the doctor.
“What do you mean it might be temporary? She might not ever remember her entire life?” Tom inquired.
“It is uncertain, but yes. Mr. Holland, we are very hopeful that her memory will come back. For now take it slow, showing her photos of you together can help greatly,” concluded the doctor.
“Dad, will mom ever remember me?” Rosie asked teary-eyed.
“I don’t know, baby.”
“Now, come on. We just have to be patient with her.”
“Ok, dad. I’m ready,” said Rosie, trying to hide her tears.
“Parker? Are you with us?” Tom inquired.
“I know she doesn’t remember me but, I don’t want her to see me and not know who I am. If she doesn’t remember me then who am I? I owe my entire life to mom. I don’t understand how she just forgot 16 years of my life,” Parker lamented.
“Hey, we just need to patient. One thing you need to have is faith. That’s all we had waiting to be rescued. Hope, hope that we would see you and your sister again.”
“I’m scared, dad.”
“I know me too. But we have to do this for mom. Ok?” Tom admitted. Parker just nodded in response. They made their way into your room, standing by the foot of your bed.
“Hi, let’s start over. I am Tom. You are Y/N. I am your husband. Your name is Y/N Holland,” Tom began. “This is our son, Parker. He is 16 years old, along with his twin sister. This is our daughter, Rosie….We just want to let you know we will be here for you. Through everything, we want to help you remember if you will let us.”
“Okay,” you whispered. That was the first step, having people to support you.
You were soon discharged a few days later. All set to travel back to London, the home you once knew. Back to the life you shared little to no importance for. All the things you once loved, lost in translation.
The plan ride was painfully long. Tom had yet to hold you in his arms. After watching the life drain out of you, waiting for someone to come, he just wanted to hold you and love you. Let you know you are safe.
He watched as you sat there a few seats away from him. The spark in your eyes non-existent. He didn’t know how to call you over there his when you couldn’t remember him. Almost 20 years of being together, down the drain. He just wanted you back.
Not being able to hug you or hold you or whisper sweet nothings in your ear was killing him. He felt like a recovering drug addict experiencing the process of withdrawal. Everything hurt inside, knowing you forgot him. It was so unfair. How could you survive the helicopter crash but not recognize your own family? You were a shell, a husk of the person you used to be.
Jared, was the one to pick you all up from the airport. The plane ride was nothing compared to the awkwardness of the car ride. You had always been very close with Tom’s staff. William and Jared specifically because you’d see them the most. Jared used to be more your driver but, Tom snatched him up after he saw how close you two were getting. He couldn’t help but be jealous.
You sat next to Tom, almost like a statue. You didn’t know how you were supposed to act. Pulling up to the manor, you were a combination of terrified and astounded. Terrified and astounded at the sheer size and security measures taken.
“Tom, did you pay for the cab?” You asked, hopping out of the car.
“Darling, this is our car. This is our driver, Jared. You two are close,” Tom explained.
“Oh, sorry. Jared it’s nice to meet you,” you waved to him.
“We’ve met before, but it’s nice to see you Y/N,” Jared said, trying to address the elephant in the room.
“Right, sorry.”
“No need to apologize, ma’am.”
“Love, why don’t I make you a cup of tea and you can relax in the living room? The plane ride probably wore you out. However, I know Parker and Rosie have something planned,” Tom interjected.
“Ok, tea would be good,” you responded, walking to the mansion.
“Where’s the living room?” You questioned, afraid you will get lost.
“Oh, it’s ok darling. I’ll take you there,” Tom said, leading the way.
Being here, seemed like an out of body experience. The only thing you knew about yourself was what people told you.
“Here mom. I-I mean Y/N. Please come sit. These are a bunch of photo albums and scrapbooks about our lives. Maybe showing you them will bring something back.”
“Ok… You could call me mom. I don’t mind,” Rosie just nodded in response.
“Look this picture is of your wedding day. It was at this really pretty garden. I wish I could’ve been there,” Rosie reminisced.
“You weren’t?” You asked, confused at her remark.
“No, Parker and I weren’t born yet.”
“Oh, is that you?” You asked, gently raising a finger to a picture captured a perfect moment in time. Parker had just gotten out of a bath and was running naked through the house, he had to be about three or four years old.
“No, that’s Parker,” Rosie remarked.
“Here’s a photo of me. It’s the first day of kindergarten.” Rosie pulled out a photo of her dressed in a blue dress with pink bows in her hair, one on each side hugging her pigtails.
She stood in front of a large gate along with Parker, holding their tin lunch boxes high. Rosie’s lunchbox was a homage to My Little Pony and Parker’s was Transformers. They were all grown up, no longer spending the days with you while Tom worked.
“I’m crying, why?” You questioned, seeing yourself adorned with red puffy eyes in the photo.
“I don’t know, maybe you didn’t want to leave me or Parker,” Rosie explained but was soon cut off by a large clash coming from the kitchen. CRASH, CLANG, THWAP.
“What was that?” You asked, a little startled by the noise.
“I don’t know, I’m going to go check on something. Feel free to keep looking at them.”
You flipped through the countless pages adorned with family photos that documented the milestones. It killed you that you couldn’t remember. You were said to be their mother and if you were anything like your mother, you loved them till it was too much and kissed them and held them. You loved them more than life itself but couldn’t remember why.
About 12 pages in, there was a photo of you in the hospital holding a baby. The caption read “my little Roo.” It was of you and Rosie shortly after she was born. She looked so small, so delicate. Her skin was pale with a hint of rose colored cheeks. The little baby girl in your arms was wrapped in a pink cloth with a pink colored beanie on her head.
She was sleeping so peacefully and you just had the biggest smile imagined on your face. You brought this little girl into the world and couldn’t remember that moment. What own mother can’t remember her baby? Tears pricked at your eyes as you gazed into the picture.
“Dinner is almost ready—Love, what’s wrong why are you crying?” Tom said, coming out of the kitchen.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t fair to any of you,” you cried, letting the tears fall.
“Hey, it’s ok. We are here for you,” Tom whispered, grabbing a hold of your hands.
“I’m still sorry, I don’t remember anything.”
“It’s not your fault. It will come with time,” Tom said, only holding your hands. His main goal was to not overwhelm you and pulling you into a warm embrace may be too much too soon.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. What’s for dinner, smells great?” You said, quickly changing the subject.
“Your favorite and specialty so we can’t guarantee it will be as good as you make it but, spaghetti and meatballs,” Tom joked.
“Ok, I’m sure it will be lovely.”
Everyone was dealing with your amnesia differently. Parker would take you on special outings to places you loved and Rosie could barely stand to be in the same room with you. Your sweet and affectionate girl couldn’t as much give a real smile. The only time you spent with her was when she showed you the photo albums. Something clicked in her when you didn’t recognize her in the photo of you holding her a for the first time. Rosie proceeded to cry herself to sleep that night, she couldn’t handle you not recognizing her.
As time progressed it had gotten too hard for Rosie to be around you. Looking at you just reminded her of all the things she had lost. She would stay in her room from dawn till dusk, refusing to see or talk to anyone. Rosie shut everyone out, including Henry. He’d come by quite a lot, begging to see Rosie.
“Hi, can I help you?” You said, answering the door.
“I’m Henry, Harrison’s son and Rosie’s boyfriend,” Henry explained.
“Oh. Sorry I can’t remember anything. Were we close?” You inquired, yet another person you have disappointed by not knowing your own life.
���Yeah, you and Tom were a big part in raising me, aside from my dad. I love you like a son would loved his mother.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll work on it. But I believe Rosie is upstairs, come in,” you responded, inviting the boy in.
“Thanks,” Henry said, quickly making his way upstairs. “Roo, it’s me. I’m coming in,” He said whilst knocking on her door.
“Henry what are you doing here?” Rosie asked, trying to hide her tears.
“You weren’t returning any of my phone calls.”
“There is a reason for that,” Rosie snapped, building a wall that Henry was bound to knock down.
“Hey, I’m here. Talk to me. Talk to me about your mom,” Henry whispered, coming to Rosie’s side.
“What’s there to talk about? She doesn’t remember me. She was my best friend and she doesn’t even know who I am!” Rosie yelled. Needing to let out all her emotions in one single blow.
“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here,” Henry assured.
“Henry, I just want to be alone right now. Could you please leave?” Rosie begged.
“No, I won’t let you push me away. I’m here to help.”
“I want you to go,” Rosie demanded.
“No.” Henry said, holding his ground.
“I’m serious Henry, leave.”
“No, Rosie you need someone to talk to.”
“Can you get out and leave me the fuck alone?” She screamed, this time being pushed over the edge. Flailing her arms back and forth in anger.
“No. I’m not leaving,” Henry knew she needed him, he couldn’t leave anytime soon.
“Really? I’m here screaming at you and you are still here. Why?” All her anger drifted only leaving her sadness. She fell into his arms, breaking from the weight of pain, sobbing.
“Yes, because I love you and I’m staying for you,” Henry reassured. He knew Rosie would need this. Someone who promised to never leave.
“Henry, what do we do if she never remembers? I’m not ready for that. It’s like losing my mom even though she is still alive. All those fun memories of shopping or baking or just talking, gone. I don’t know who I am without her.”
“Rosie, you have to look on the bright side.”
“What’s the fucking bright side? There is none. We took her to all her favorite places today and she still doesn’t remember. There is no fucking bright side!”
“Roo.”
“I lost her. I lost her but she is still here. I’m lucky right? She’s still here living and breathing, but she doesn’t know who I am,” Rosie lamented. “Henry, I love you to pieces but I just need to be alone right now.” Pleading for him to leave, she wished he could stay and comfort her but nothing could do that right now.
“Baby, I don’t want to leave you so upset,” Henry whispered.
“Please. I’m begging you, just go.”
Rosie, didn’t mean to push Henry away. But she couldn’t help it. She needed to release her frustrations out on someone, but there was no one. There was no one to blame for the crash or the loss of your memory. It was all an accident. Henry knew her well enough, where he knew what she needed before she did herself. He already lost Rosie once and promised himself he wouldn’t again.
Parker was the opposite of Rosie, not consumed by his sadness, he was looking for a solution. Anything that could help bring back your memory. He had been taking you to your favorite places around the city. The beach, the library, a coffee shop, and a park you always you took Parker and Rosie to as kids.
To no end, he couldn’t and wouldn’t give up. He couldn’t leave you stuck in that misery. He approached Tom with something that might work.
“Dad, I have an idea. I thought we should create a memory for her.”
“Ok, that might work. Any memory in mind?”
“I was thinking your wedding day,” Parker explained. Tom just nodded in response with a smirk strewn across his face.
Tom was willing to try anything to get you back. It a been a few weeks from the crash and he’s so scared of terrifying you or being too forward. He won’t even lay a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, in case you get scared.
Even though he had yet to hold you once again, Tom refused to leave your side, in case having him around so much would bring your memories back. Have them all come flooding back.
Tom just wanted you by his side. You were sleeping in your bedroom and Tom was in the guest room. Feeling like nothing had changed. It was the same before the accident, you barely acknowledging Tom and Tom sleeping elsewhere. Granted it wasn’t because you were mad at him, it was worse, you couldn’t remember him.
The nights were different, half way through the night you would wake up. Scared wide awake from nightmares that plagued your mind. One night you found Tom taking down a big bottle of scotch by the fireplace.
“What are you doing up?” You asked,
“Drinking,” he said rather harshly, you just brushed it off though.
“Oh, the fireplace is really lovely. I could just read a book out here for hours.”
“You used to. I’d find you asleep in front of the fireplace all the time.” Tom chuckled, reliving those memories.
“Oh, sorry.”
“Y/N! It’s not your god damm fault. STOP FUCKING APOLOGIZING!!!” Tom screamed, chucking his glass at the wall. It shattered into a thousand tiny pieces much how his heart was now.
“Ok, I’m sor—, I just came down for some water. Good night,” you said, trying to mask the tears about to fall. Reverting back to the catatonic emotionless person you’ve been lately.
“Y/N wait!” Tom called after you but you were already gone. This was a side of Tom you’d never met. The old you had and learned to deal with it but it was completely different now.
It was scary, Tom reacting like that. You quickly got your water and made your way back upstairs. If he had that much pent up anger, you were worried he would take it out on you. You didn’t know what to think, everyone were stranger to you and you were a stranger to this life and family.
Coming back to bed, you locked your door and tried to fall back into blissful sleep but it was hard. You stared at the ceiling for quite a while. Begging to go to sleep and wash away this entire night. Tom came to knock on your door about an hour later.
“Y/N. I’m sorry, let me explain myself,” he said, through the thick wooden door.
“I guess you’re asleep by now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, sweet dreams sweetheart,” Tom whispered, going back to his bed in the guest room. You couldn’t find the will to get up and talk to him.
You came down for some morning coffee, hoping you wouldn’t see Tom. You were scared of the man presumed to be your husband. In truth, you didn’t know anything about him. Only what people had told you. It took you hours to fall asleep after his outburst.
“Oh, you’re up. Y/N could I talk to you?” He asked, coming into view.
“Sure,” you responded. Who are you to say no?
“I’m sorry for my outburst last night. Everything is just so frustrating, nothing you did, ok?” Tom apologized.
“Ok.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m really sorry. I know you don’t know it but I love you so much and at a time, you loved me just the same. I need you to know that I have never physically hurt you or will in the future.”
“Ok. Thank you. I know you don’t like me saying it but I really am sorry. This shouldn’t be happening, you should be able to love your wife.”
“I do love you,” Tom assured.
“Tom, I’m not the same person and you know it. There’s nothing I can do, it’s just the way it is and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not the person you fell in love with,” you exclaimed.
“You don’t have to be sorry. You are here, trying to remember for all of us. That’s all that matters,” Tom said, made at himself that you even thought those things.
“Thank you….Could you tell me more about me, I mean the person I was before?” You asked.
“Yeah, darling. I’d love that,” Tom agreed.
“Ok, start with how we met.”
“Well..” Tom started and went on to tell the story of how you met.
Tom was set to meet someone new, a future contact possibly. He was supposed to meet with their assistant to take him to them. He was given strict instructions on what to look for, she would be dressed in a gold mini dress, hair down. Unbeknownst to him, you were the person he was meeting. The most feared mob boss, next to who you had a meeting with, the one and only Tom Holland.
“Hey doll face, I’m here to meet with your boss. Someone they call the Ace of Spades,” Tom said, cornering you at the bar. “Oh, really. Do they know what this is concerning?” you said, smirking. “I should hope so. Can you just take me to him?” Tom demanded. “Certainly, right this way.” You were so ready to eat this guy alive. You lead him to a back room with a bar and large round table. “Wait, there’s no one in here. We’ve been set up,” Tom yelled, alerting Harrison behind him. “What do you mean? There’s you and me, also your consigliere I presume. Why don’t you tell him to back off?” “Alright enough with your games. Where is he?” Tom barked, growing more frustrated by the second “I’m right here, doll face,” you said, in a mocking manner. “Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, I’m Y/N Y/L/N or do you know me as the Ace of Spades,” you sneered, holding out your hand for him to shake.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was misinformed, well they’re dead. Why don’t I buy you a drink after to make it up to you?” Tom said, he has never been caught off guard before. Barely keeping his cool.
“How about we finish our business here and then you and I go get something to eat, just you and me without your puppy dog, then we call it even,” you smirked, referring to Harrison who always stood so close to Tom.
“How could I say no to having dinner with the most gorgeous woman in the room,” Tom grinned.
“Smooth talker I see, but I’m the only woman the room,” you pointed out
“Doesn’t matter, doesn’t change what I said,” Tom chuckled.
He was starstruck just being in your presence. You were a force to be reckoned with. For him and you it was love at first acquaintance. Couldn’t of been sight because he thought you were a completely different person.
But once he formally met you, he was whipped. The rest is history.
You and Tom talked the day away. Living through your life like you were reading a book or watching a play. The night soon fell and you bid good night.
It was a regular night, but ever since Tom exploded you started to have nightmares. Being jolted out of sleep, trying to catch your breath. One night Tom heard you screaming, he rushed in to check on you.
“Y/N? Darling, are you okay?” Tom asked, concerned after being woken up by your screams.
“I keep having these horrible nightmares,” you choked out, shaking with fear.
“What are they about? You can talk to me.”
“One where I was trapped inside a huge room, tied to a chair. There were scary looking men saying they were gonna kill me, however I couldn’t speak. Like it hurt to speak,” you explained. Tom knew about your common theme with nightmares, unable to make any sound.
He just believed it was because you tried to repress thoughts like that. However, this wasn’t a nightmare, it was a memory. He was trying so hard to suppress his smile. Knowing you were starting to remember things even if it was trauma. It made him hopeful.
“Shhh, it’s was just a dream. It’s ok. I’m here now… can hug you?”
“Mmhm,” you nodded having him pull you into his warm embrace. “It felt so real though. Didn’t you say we were in a helicopter crash?”
“Yes, we were. Do you remember that?”
“I don’t know. My nightmares feel more like memories. I remember the feelings I had, like I felt pain and weak.”
“Well, try and go back to sleep. Just remember they are only figments of your imagination,” Tom said, he was torn between wanting you to remember everything and not scarring you.
“Tom, could you sleep with me tonight?” you asked, not wanting to be alone.
“Yes of course, darling.”
Tom climbed into bed and you moved closer to him. Snuggling right into his side and nuzzling your head by his neck. He rubbed soft circles into your arm as you dozed off. Feeling your soft breaths on his neck as he fell into deep sleep. He finally got to hold you.
Just for a moment, everything was right again. You were his and he had no intentions of letting you go. You felt safe with him, like you were home.
You woke up to a blinding light from the crack in the curtains.
“Tommy, the blinds it so bright…. Screw it. I’m up, can I bring you some breakfast?… What?” You asked, confused as to why Tom was gazing at you with a puzzled expression.
“You called me Tommy,” Tom croaked out.
“I did,” you said, confidently.
“Y/N, do you remember me?”
“Is this a weird game? Of course I remember you, you’re my husband,” you chuckled, playing off his antics.
“Quick, what happened last week?”
“Our helicopter crashed, but we were rescued. I don’t really remember how we got home but, here we are. You were right, we made it. I remember the moments leading up to being rescued, you holding me.”
“Kids come quick!” Tom shouted, loud enough to wake up the entire house.
“What’s going on?” Rosie came in, scared something happened.
“Tom, what are you doing?” You queried.
“Ask her,” Tom said.
“Who am I?” Parker asked, hoping you were his mom again.
“You guys are so weird. You’re Parker, my son. And you are Rosie, my daughter.”
“Mom, I’ve missed you so much,” Rosie shouted, throwing herself into your arms and sobbing.
“Oh, honey. I never left,” you signed, caressing the back of her head.
“I know, but the helicopter crash, I was so scared,” Rosie sniffled.
“Tom, why are you looking at me like that?” You questioned, catching a glimpse of pure adoration streaked across his face.
“Oh, nothing. I just love you, more anything.”
“I love you too…. Parker you’ve been awfully quiet.”
“I missed you mom,” Parker chimed in.
“I missed you too. Ok, I’m really confused, did I go somewhere? Someone fill me in,” you proclaimed.
“Well darling, our helicopter crashed on our way back from Barcelona—” Tom began.
“Yeah, and we’re ok,” you nodded.
“You are now. We were both badly injured and didn’t know if we would make it. You lost your memory. You didn’t know who any of us were,” Tom finished, his tone growing softer.
“What? I-I forgot all of you?” You gasped, your voice breathy.
“It’s ok, love. You’re back now, that’s all that matters,” Tom encouraged.
“Parker? Rosie?” You exclaimed.
“You looked at us and didn’t know who we were,” Parker mumbled.
“Oh babies, I’m sorry,” you whispered on the verge of tears.
“Y/N listen to me, it’s not your fault. Love, it’s ok. You are here now,” Tom reassured. “Kids why don’t you go make mom some tea,” Tom said, needing to talk with you alone.
“Alright dad,” Parker agreed, taking Rosie along with him.
“Y/N? Darling, talk to me,” he said, watching you beat yourself up inside. You head hanging lowly in your hands.
“How could I not remember them?” You cried.
“It was just your mind playing tricks on you. It’s ok.”
“It’s not okay. I put you through all of that.”
“Not on purpose darling.”
“Tom, I have something to get off my chest.”
“Yes, love.”
“I really thought I was going to die. But you were there and you saved me. You brought me back to them, thank you,” you recounted.
“Oh, baby. I was never going to just let you die. There was a moment where I looked over a battered body leaning against me after the crash. Your eyes were closed and I had accepted that you were gone. At that moment, I vowed I’d go too,” Tom concluded.
“Tom, they couldn’t lose both of us.”
“I know, I’m just glad they didn’t lose either of us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what, darling?”
“For everything. Our fight. Giving in you a hard time in Barcelona. I love you so much, Tom. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you cried, letting yourself be completely vulnerable with him once again.
“Hey, you're not going to lose me. I believe it’s the other way around. I can’t live without you and I don’t want to, ever,” Tom said, smashing his lips on yours. God, how he missed you.
And with that, Tom had got his girl back, you. Your lips entangled with his was exactly what he needed. You were back. The love of his life and mother of his children. You were you again with the same spark in your eyes.
Something flipped in your head like a switch during the night. After falling asleep in his arms you dreamt of your life. Almost like a movie played in your head showcasing all the greatest memories.
Parker and Rosie’s first steps, the kids’ 5th birthday, the day you told Tom you were pregnant with twins, Tom’s proposal and so much more. Your memories are what made you who you were, even the bad ones.
All the fights and near death experiences came flooding back. But it wasn’t a feeling of drowning or being held down by the weight, begging for air. It was a feeling of renewal like the water had washed away all the pain and sins. Leaving faint stains of bad memories to be remembered for another day but never forgotten.
Tom brought you back. He was your anchor to the life you once knew. Resting in Tom’s arms felt like home. You knew you were safe.
“It’s so good to have you back in my arms,” he said, savoring every moment.
“I never want to leave,” you said, coming in for another kiss. Shorter this time but still full of longing and unconditional love. Tom broke away as he remembered something.
“Wait,” remembered Tom.
“What?”
“Come on, let’s go downstairs.”
“Why the kids are bringing us tea in bed?” You questioned.
“Just trust me,” Tom concluded.
“Okay,” you said, letting your husband lead the way. Descending the stairs and once reaching the bottom he asked for you close your eyes. You hesitant at first but agreed. He pulled you to the backyard for a much needed surprise.
“Ready. Open your eyes.” You just stood there in complete awe, speechless.
“We had a plan to bring back your memory. We set up the backyard to look just like our wedding,” Tom explained.
The backyard was full of the wedding essentials, an archway at the end of the aisle, chairs for the guests, and so many flowers. Flowers that decorated every pillar and fence, blooming with beautiful shades of lavender.
“Oh my god, it’s as beautiful as I remember it…. Tom I have an idea,” you smirked.
“Yes, darling,” Tom acknowledged.
“What would you say to us renewing our vows?” You asked, hoping he’d say yes.
“I love that idea, sweetheart. When would you want to do it?”
“Today.”
“Today?” Tom asked, stunned by your response.
“Yeah, it’s already all set up like our wedding. Why not?”
“Ok, yeah. Yes. I’m going to re-marry you today. I love you so much,” Tom exclaimed.
“And I’m going to re-marry you today. I love you too,” You grinned.
“Alright we need guests, just family,” Tom beamed.
“And I need a bridesmaid. Rosie?” You cheered, excited to share this day with you daughter.
“You serious?” Rosie asked
“Of course, honey. Now come on, I need a dress,” you said, pulling Rosie upstairs. Even though you were already married you wanted it to be as much as a real wedding as possible. So for the next few hours, you couldn’t see Tom.
Tom was tasked with inviting everyone. Sure it was last minute, but all the family would be there. He found it pretty awkward because he had to tell everyone that you got your memories back and getting married again in one phone call. He called Nikki, Dom, Harry, Sam, Paddy, your parents and Harrison and Henry.
“Haz, come quick. I need you at the house.” Tom left a message on Haz’s voicemail.
“Tom? What happened? I came as soon as I got your call,” Haz screamed, running through the mansion.
“Y/N got her memories back,” Tom cheered.
“That’s amazing. You called me all the way down here for that?” Haz asked, slightly annoyed.
“No, you div. I have a favor to ask….Will you be my best man?” Tom asked.
“Ok, I was already you best man at your wedding years ago,” Haz sneered.
“We are going to renew our vows. I wanted to know if would be my best man?”
“Are you serious?”
“No, you’re only my best friend aside from her. Yes, I’m serious,” Tom remarked sarcastically.
“I honored mate, of course. When is it?”
“In 3 hours,” Tom said stone faced.
“In 3 hours?” Haz screeched. It was so soon.
“Yeah, we set up the backyard to look like her and I’s wedding to bring back her memory.”
“Wait.. who’s officiating?” Haz wondered.
“Harry,” Tom said, trying not to burst into laughter.
“Oh, I’m so ready to watch him fuck that up.”
“Me too, mate. Now come we have a wedding to put on.”
The house erupted in wedding central. Tom had tasked his cook with cooking for 15 people for the reception, he had ordered a cake and called his personal tailor for two matching suits preferably black, just like at your first wedding.
Tom made his way upstairs to tell you about Harry officiating but was stopped by the maid of honor, Rosie.
“Why is this door locked?” Tom asked, angrily shaking the door knob.
“Dad what do you think you are doing?” Rosie asked sternly.
“Wow honey, you look beautiful,” Tom admired his daughter dressed in a light blue dress that dragged on the floor.
“Thanks, dad, it’s mom’s dress.”
“I remember, you look just like your mom.”
“Thanks, but I ask again what are you doing here?” Rosie interjected, not letting his endearing comments distract her from the more important matter. Tom wasn’t allowed to see you before the ceremony.
“I need to talk to your mother.”
“You can’t see the bride before her wedding it’s bad luck,” Rosie exclaimed.
“Please, I don’t believe in stuff like that. Plus we’re already married and happily might I add,” Tom interjected.
“Oh really, no bad luck? How do you explain all the bad things that have happened,” Rosie reminded.
“Umm, that’s not important right now. I need to talk to your mother.”
“Too bad, now shoo,” Rosie said, shooing him away with her hands.
“Fine, I guess she’ll never know THAT HARRY IS OFFICIATING,” Tom shouted as he left.
“Rosie, what did dad want?” You asked.
“Umm, nothing. Just to tell you that he found the most amazing officiant on short notice,” Rosie sneered, trying to keep it secret from you.
“Oh, good. Now, come here and let me do you hair,” you said, motioning her to the restroom.
It was now time, to remind everyone of a vow you once made.
You were dressed in a white floor length gown, not as near glamorous as you actual wedding dress but it was still beautiful. Your wedding song played again, Make You Feel My Love by Adele, as you came out from behind the corner.
All eyes turned to bask in your beauty. You could see Tom stop breathing, made you laugh a little. You noticed Harry up at the altar and wondered what had Tom done.
Rosie went up first, slowly gliding through the aisle. You followed behind her. Everything was once right with the world. You were about to re-declare your love for your best friend.
“Friends, family and Sam,” Harry said, taking a jab at his brother only to be returned with Sam sticking his tongue out. “We are gathered here today, to celebrate and re-marry Tom and Y/N Holland. If anyone has any objections please speak now or forever hold your peace,” Harry announced.
“I have problem. They’re already married,” Sam yelled from the audience.
“Sam, sit down you div. It’s a vow renewal,” Tom called out from the altar.
“Harry, they don’t ask that at actual weddings,” you whispered to him.
“Well, fuck,” Harry whispered.
“I’ve just been informed that I’m not supposed to say that, my apologies, I’m basing my entire speech on TV. Now I will continue with the proceedings. Can you believe this div, needing two weddings. Two fucking weddings when I haven’t even had one. Can we skip the vows? You’re probably going to say the exact same like thing you said 17 years ago,” Harry announced.
“Absolutely not, that’s the whole purpose. I’ll go first.” You started, taking a minute to breathe and share your heart with everyone there.
“Tom, these past 17 years being your wife have been a dream come true. You are my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know it is fucking cheesy but, I can honestly say I found my soulmate, my better half. You make me be a better person and mother. I owe you everything and promise to give you all my love. What do you say, still want me as your wife? Please say yes, because I’m choosing you for then rest of my life. Couldn’t dream of anyone else. I love you, a thousand times over.”
“Y/N, just thinking about everything our love has survived and I’m amazed you have stuck with me through thick and thin. I want to thank you for the beautiful life you have given me and my two beautiful kids. This a declaration of my love for you but also a promise. I promise you will always be appreciated, that I will make you laugh and cry sometimes, appropriately. Falling in love with my best friend and marrying her has been the best decision of my life, I love you and I promise to always keep you safe and always stand by your side.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. But that one I know you’ll keep,” you cheered.
“By the power vested in me by a shitty website online, I now pronounce you still husband and wife. You may kiss your wife. Children avert your eyes,” Harry concluded as Tom pulled you into a deep, passionate kiss. Nothing will ever be more perfect in that moment.
“Who else needs a cootie shot? Or some booze?” Harry called out, while you and Tom pulled apart.
“Fuck off, Harry,” Tom said, pulling you back in for another kiss.
“Where are we going on our honeymoon?” Tom whispered to you.
“I vote somewhere, we don’t have to fly,” you remarked.
“I second that. God, I love you.”
“You’re just lucky I said yes, Holland.”
“God damm right, I am.” Tom said, his lips getting caught in his smile.
There are moments where words have lost all their meaning and this was one It wasn’t full of sadness, quite the opposite. Nothing could ruin this perfect day. You were his once again.
Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas Masterlist
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