#and one of the friends is like oh idk bc i have a party tonight and it might end late and i'll be sleey :/

[zouisexo]

.

[hiraiologist]

keep you in my mouth (and hope to never take you out)

hirai momo x f!reader

9.4k words

synopsis: at first it’s a party. then it’s a study session. then it’s like you’re addicted to her, and you find yourself caught up in everything that is hirai momo.

tags/warnings: ambiguous location but college/university setting, alcohol, drugs, parties, mentions of throwing up, smut (strap, cunnilingus, overstimulation, begging), fluff!, light degradation (reader is referred to as whore and slut lul), friends to lovers, switch!momo ??? idk but momo’s the best girl :]

a/n: i haven’t written for fun in… over 5 years? not since i was in high school… so i'm extremely out of practice SORRY! i’ve definitely regressed (T_T) i wanted this to just be a quick way to get back into writing, so its not all that articulate or anything. i started this last thursday when i was off work bc i was sick and bored, and i was gonna post it over the weekend but then with seollal and going back to work, i kinda forgot about it. partially ib my own college experience :p i feel obligated to say don’t do drugs and don’t drink underage but…! title from flashing room by 2am club.

the resounding thump of the bass sinks into your skin, replacing the steady beat beneath your ribs.

you feel a body next to you—someone’s pushing past you across the room, their sweat smearing across your exposed forearm. it’s damp and uncomfortably cool, an off-putting and striking contrast to the heat of the crowd. you stop dancing and frown. you turn to your left, pinching a piece of your friend’s shirt between your fingers, wiping the sweat onto the dark fabric. chaeyoung stops moving to the music and swats your hand away.

“what are you doing?”

“someone touched me.” you wrinkle your nose. “it was sweaty.”

“so you wiped it on me instead?” the shorter girl glares up at you, though her eyes twinkle with mirth—or maybe it’s just the reflection from the led light strips on the walls. she pulls out her phone to check the time. “i need another drink before we go. c’mon, let’s go find tzuyu and dahyun.”

you shrug as the two of you link fingers and begin to find your way back to the makeshift bar for more drinks. you’re already drunk—yooyeon’s playing bartender tonight and you’ve been taking advantage of it as much as possible.

“ladies,” yooyeon greets as you approach her table. she spreads her hands over a few stacks of cups filled with red liquid. “what can i get you this time?”

the options are pretty limited. actually, there’s really only one option: a delightfully strong mixture of jungle juice made oh so lovingly by yooyeon and jiwon.

“you’re hilarious,” you say flatly as you roll your eyes at her. she just cackles and starts fixing up two new cups. “have i ever told you that you’re my favorite bartender?”

“that’ll break jiwon’s heart,” she replies with a laugh. “but i won’t tell if you won’t.” she holds out the drinks with both hands.

chaeyoung accepts one of the cups and takes a long swig. “hey, we’re actually probably heading out soon. going to a kickback with some friends,” she says to yooyeon. you take the other cup and swallow some of the jungle juice. it’s your third cup of the night, so maybe you’re just drunk, but it tastes divine. you’re pretty sure that, at the very least, it tastes better than the tequila shots you’d downed earlier with chaeyoung before leaving your apartment.

yooyeon pouts. “why?” she leans in towards the two of you. “don’t go. you guys practically just got here.”

you shake your head. “no can do. we promised jihyo we’d go to her place tonight.” on another night, you might stay, watch jiwon do a few lines in the bathroom, drink more alcohol until your vision starts to blur, maybe let yooyeon or jiwon—or both—put delicate hands up your shirt and leave bruises on your hips. tonight, though, you’re going to a kickback held by one of your closest friends, jihyo, and you’ll consume enough substances to ensure you wake up with your head pounding, mouth dry, body aching all over.

it’s going to be fun, you think to yourself. you chug some more jungle juice, finishing your cup more quickly than you’d intended. chaeyoung’s texting tzuyu, instructing her to meet you guys by yooyeon’s setup. as the alcohol sets into your bloodstream, your skin warms, a muted blush settling on your cheeks.

chaeyoung spots tzuyu and dahyun walking towards yooyeon’s table and waves them over. yooyeon pours two more drinks and offers them out to your friends as they approach.

“thanks yooyeon!” tzuyu happily tips her cup back into her mouth. dahyun does the same, though she only takes a small mouthful. you’re pretty sure she’s sober. you’ve been at the house for about an hour, but you know she’s only been occasionally stealing sips from everybody’s drinks instead of just getting one of her own. really, you’re a little grateful that she’s not drunk—you know that by the end of the night, most of you will be too inebriated to get home properly without help. dahyun’s always been a little less raucous than the rest of the girls, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. dahyun hands her barely-touched cup to you to finish and you flash her a playful grin with a wink.

“finish your drinks and we’ll go. i’ll go ahead and call an uber now,” dahyun directs while pulling out her phone. the rest of you nod and tap your cups together in a cheers. a few moments pass before dahyun slips her phone back into her pocket and announces, “okay, he’ll be here in… six minutes. jihyo said nayeon and mina are already there.”

yooyeon makes eye contact with you. “will you guys come back later?” her eyes are hopeful, bright—she’s more a puppy than a party girl. but you’d rather be with your other friends, so you just shoot her an apologetic expression.

“not tonight.” you shake your head. “but maybe we’ll see you later this weekend or something?”

before yooyeon can respond, you hear someone squeal from a few feet away. “guys! what are you doing here?” you all turn to find sana skipping towards your group, a huge smile on her face.

“sana!” the four of you yell simultaneously, pulling her into hugs with each of you. she’s beaming wildly. you didn’t know she was here; if you’d seen her earlier, you would’ve dragged her onto the dance floor and probably made her your drinking buddy. sana’s a little older than you and she’s infinitely cool. you’d met her at a party last year, where she’d pulled trig for chaeyoung after knowing her for about an hour. you’d all instantly fallen for her, and she was a welcome addition to your group. sana was confidence and optimism wrapped in sex on legs—but she was also undeniably cute, with her bubbly personality and squishy cheeks. she’d easily become one of your closest confidants, spending time with you every week, showering you with affection and giving you advice whenever you were struggling. her status as a social butterfly also meant that she has a lot of other friends, so your group of four—you, tzuyu, chaeyoung, and dahyun—had rapidly expanded to a group of ten, with sana bringing her best friend momo into the fold, then jihyo, mina, jeongyeon, and nayeon with them. but sana’s infinite list of friends turns her into a pretty busy girl, so when chaeyoung had invited her out with you all tonight, she’d politely declined, stating her previously-arranged plans with momo and jeongyeon.

“i thought you were hanging out with jeongyeon and momo?” you look at sana in excitement.

“i am! well, jeongyeon had to go home early because she’s got a test tomorrow morning, but momo’s here. she’s talking to yoona right now.” sana points a few feet away at momo, engrossed in conversation with another girl you vaguely recognize. “wait, this is great! we can all hang out!”

“actually,” tzuyu interjects, “we’re leaving right now. but we’re heading to jihyo’s! nayeon and mina are there right now. will you come with us?”

“i’m down, but let me ask momo.” she giggles before bounding towards the older girl. she taps the girl on the shoulder and yoona offers them both a wave, walking off to find her friends in another room. sana starts to talk to momo; after a moment, she points over at your group and momo turns to glance at you all. her gaze seems to drag over you slowly. then she looks back at sana and says something, prompting sana to grin and tug at her arm, dragging the girl towards you. dahyun, chaeyoung, and tzuyu all give her a quick hug and big smiles.

momo pulls you into a hug last, her firm arms wrapped around you tightly as sana exclaims, “momo said she’s down to go to jihyo’s!”

“we should probably head outside, then,” dahyun suggests. “it would suck if we missed our uber.” you all nod and start to find your way to the door. you quickly turn towards yooyeon and send her a wave. the girl perks up and shoots you a smile before you turn back around and follow chaeyoung out the house to the front.

you all stand outside, chatting idly amongst yourselves as dahyun watches for the right car to pull up. eventually, she spots what must be your uber and walks up to the vehicle, waving at the driver as they roll down their window. the rest of you trail behind her.

“for dahyun?” when the driver nods, she continues, “uh, so we have six people, actually. is that okay?” dahyun smiles sheepishly at the uber driver and bites her lip. he looks at you all warily and sighs.

“yeah, sure. it’s not like we’re going very far, i guess.”

tzuyu climbs into the passenger seat while chaeyoung scoots into the middle seat in the back. dahyun takes the seat to the right of chaeyoung, with sana climbing into her lap naturally. you quickly realize your predicament as the rest of the girls settle into the uber. you turn to momo and say, “you can sit on me. if that’s okay.”

the girl’s cheeks instantly turn the prettiest shade of pink you’ve ever seen. “oh! um, okay. sure. thanks.”

you open the door on the left and climb into the last seat. once you’re seated, you look back at momo and smile. she quickly gets in, sitting awkwardly on your lap. you reach for the door handle with one hand, close the door, then snake your hand around the girl’s waist, pulling her towards you more tightly. she squeaks a little, but shifts her body more to settle comfortably against you. your uber driver eyes you all in the backseat with a tired expression before driving off slowly.

“this top looks really good on you, by the way,” you say, lips twitching into a small grin. you play a little with the ends of her hair before dropping your fingers to brush along her shirt. she stares at the floor.

“thanks,” she replies quietly. her cheeks are red when she looks up and her eyes dart away when she notices you’re looking at her face.

the rest of the ride is filled by your friends’ conversations and your driver’s playlist coming low through the speakers of the car, your fingers rubbing circles into momo’s hip soothingly as you feel her take quiet, even breaths. you’re almost disappointed when the uber stops in front of jihyo’s apartment.

when you arrive at jihyo’s door, jihyo welcomes you all with a hug and ushers you inside. she leads you to the kitchen, where nayeon and mina are chatting next to the table covered with an array of drinks. you greet nayeon and mina with hugs as well, chatting with them for a minute before you decide to make a few cherry bombs for everyone. the girls seem to have found their spots in the apartment: tzuyu, dahyun, and chaeyoung are sitting on the floor in jihyo’s living room while sana and momo fumble with jihyo’s speaker system, squabbling over jihyo’s phone to try to queue up a few more songs. nayeon, jihyo, and mina continue to chat while they watch you in the kitchen as you mix cherry vodka with redbull. when you’ve prepared a few shot glasses, you offer them to nayeon and jihyo, knowing mina won’t be drinking. you all quickly down your shots and nayeon and jihyo excuse themselves to go find a game to play, leaving you in the kitchen with mina. she offers to take two of the shots over to sana and momo, and you agree. you grab the remaining three shots, find dahyun, chaeyoung, and tzuyu in the living room, and watch as they knock back their cherry bombs.

you plop down on the floor next to chaeyoung, letting out an excited giggle when she produces a small tin from her pocket and pulls out a perfectly rolled joint. as she lights it and begins to take a hit, you look towards the speaker where you spot sana and momo laughing with mina. you observe them for a moment before you feel chaeyoung tapping at your shoulder, offering you the joint. you take a hit and hand it back to chaeyoung. dahyun and tzuyu get up; you vaguely register them saying something about finding some ping pong balls. you and chaeyoung chat quietly, asking “would you rather” questions, passing the joint back and forth until eventually it’s reduced to nothing and you’re forced to stub it out. by now, the combination of the weed and alcohol has you feeling light and slightly dizzy, but it’s pleasant and you’re smiling a little dopily. chaeyoung pulls you up with her when she sees tzuyu across the room, setting up a table to play beer pong.

“tzu! i wanna play!” chaeyoung exclaims happily. “can i play?”

“sure,” the taller girl agrees easily. “you can be my partner. y/n, wanna play?”

“wait, who else is playing?”

tzuyu shrugs. “go find someone!” you glance around; mina’s sitting on the couch with dahyun, both tapping away at their phones. nayeon and jihyo are sitting at the table in the kitchen, already playing some kind of card game. you start to walk off to look for sana and momo and tzuyu calls after you, “oh, get sana! she needs to get on our level!”

you find sana in the kitchen with momo. you quickly grab another cup, mixing vodka with soda haphazardly, taking a big gulp as you bound up to sana. “i’m drunk,” you state the obvious with a giggle. “and you need to catch up! let’s play beer pong with chae and tzuyu!” you point your cup towards sana, who giggles back at you, takes the cup, shares a look with momo.

“thanks, y/n!” she hums as she sips at the drink. “actually, i think you might regret recruiting me for beer pong.” she winks at you and hands your cup to momo, who tilts her head at you for approval. you nod quickly and she takes a long drink before handing the cup back to you. “but momo would love to be your partner tonight!”

you beam at the other girl hopefully. “would you really? please?” momo looks at you with wide eyes, seemingly caught off guard. she sneaks a glance at sana, who just bats her eyes innocently.

“oh, sure,” she agrees quickly. “i’m down.” you cheer as you grab her hand and guide her towards the table where chaeyoung and tzuyu are setting up the cups and pouring beer into each one. you chug a bit more of your drink, which has dwindled down to just a few more mouthfuls. you offer the rest to momo, then pout when you realize you don’t have anything else to drink, making sana laugh from behind you. she walks back to the kitchen as you and momo take your places at one end of the table, chaeyoung and tzuyu at the other. it’s decided that you and momo will go first. momo gestures at you to go ahead, and you grab one of the ping pong balls and eye the pyramid of cups across from you.

before you can toss the ball, sana returns with two new drinks, places one on the small table by the couch. she points at it and says, “that’s for you, y/n. when you’re done playing.” she takes a sip from the other drink still in her hand.

“thanks.” you nod at her words, focusing intently on your form. you decide to just go for it, casually arching the ball forward, watching as it sinks cleanly into one of the cups in front of tzuyu. “yes!” 

momo whoops. “nice.” she offers her hand out for a high-five. tzuyu takes the cup, removes the ball, drinks the beer. momo quickly finishes off the drink you’d given her, adding it to the cup tzuyu drank to start a stack on the side, then moves to take her shot. she hesitates for quite a while before eventually throwing the ball. it bounces off the side of one cup, but falls into the one next to it. you cheer loudly as momo’s eyes widen and she turns to face you, a giddy expression on her face. you sneak a quick peck on her cheek, delight in the way the skin pinkens immediately as momo looks at you bashfully. chaeyoung takes the cup out, removing the ball before downing the contents inside. she boos half-heartedly but she’s smiling as she hands both ping pong balls back to you.

you immediately toss one across the table. it bounces off a cup and drops onto the table. you pout. “ugh. got too cocky. redeem us, momo!” but momo misses her shot, too, so you hand the balls to chaeyoung and tzuyu.

tzuyu tosses her ball quickly and it immediately falls into a cup in front of you. you grab the cup, take the ball out, drink the beer, add the cup to the stack. chaeyoung takes her position, squinting momentarily across the table before shooting the ball, landing it in a cup next to momo. the older girl grabs the cup, takes the ball out and hands it back to chaeyoung before tossing the beer back into her mouth. a droplet of beer shines at the corner of her mouth. without thinking, you lean forward and wipe at it with your finger before popping it into your mouth to clean it off. momo stares at you, but you don’t seem to notice. tzuyu and chaeyoung take their shots again. tzuyu lands her ball in a cup—momo drinks it quickly—but chaeyoung misses hers. they hand the balls back to you and momo. you arc one ball perfectly into a cup. momo’s turn is kind of disastrous; she throws the ball towards the cups, but it ends up smacking chaeyoung in the tit.

“sorry!” momo squeaks. chaeyoung just laughs and waves her off. the game keeps going, but it quickly becomes obvious that chaeyoung and tzuyu are going to win. you only land your ball into the cups two more times, and momo misses every shot she takes, looking all the more distracted as each round passes. eventually, you and momo lose pretty spectacularly. jihyo and nayeon push you both out of the way to take on chaeyoung and tzuyu.

disgruntled, you grab the drink sana made for you and take a gulp. “i can’t believe we lost!” you wail as momo follows you to the kitchen.

momo shrugs. “we’ll get ’em next time,” she promises, wrapping her arms around you from behind. you settle against her with a sigh.

“you’re so…” you gesture a little vaguely at her body, “comfy?” you finish, pulling momo’s arms around you even tighter. “like, you’re firm. you have really nice muscles and... you know. but you’re super cozy.” she hums in your ear as you lift your cup to your lips again.

“thanks,” she laughs. “i mean, i eat a lot. but i work out a lot too.”

“oh, i’ve noticed. your body always looks so good,” you continue absentmindedly before you pull away from her to look her in the eyes, slightly embarrassed. “i—it’s not like i stare. i just mean i wish i had your athleticism, you know? i don’t really know how to work out, and i don’t have a whole lot of stamina.” that causes momo’s mouth to twitch into a subtle smirk and you flush. your tongue suddenly feels very dry, and you’re not exactly sure it’s cotton mouth.

“well, maybe i could help you with that,” momo quips before she steals a bit of your drink and starts to move to the music blaring from jihyo’s speaker, and it pushes you to dance as well. after a song or two, momo’s hands make their way around your waist and you let your arms wrap around her neck, your cup dangling over her shoulder. it registers in your mind that you like this—like momo pressed against your body, like big brown eyes twinkling as she grins at you, like momo’s laugh vibrating against your chest. you smile at her as you dance together, your friends jumping and singing along to the music around you as they toss ping pong balls at each other.

everyone else seems to be preoccupied, not paying any attention to you and momo. you hardly realize that momo’s been guiding you towards the bathroom until she pushes the door open, closes it behind you, shoves you against the wall. her eyes bore into yours, looking for your approval before she leans in to kiss you. you close the distance, bringing a hand up to cradle her jaw. it feels incredibly intimate as she runs a hand from your neck down your side, eventually resting it on your hip. you continue to kiss her softly, sighing into her mouth as she lets out quiet hums of approval. after a while, she licks into your mouth, nips at your bottom lip, and you gasp as things begin to progress quickly from there.

her teeth tug at the skin of your throat. you try to suppress a moan, but it rips out of your mouth before you can stop it, and momo laughs, kisses you again. “maybe,” she breathes against your lips, “we should get out of here.” you nod enthusiastically, connect your lips again, savor the taste of her peach chapstick. you follow her out of the bathroom. you go to the front door, grabbing your belongings while momo walks up to the rest of the girls, all still either dancing or playing beer pong, says to them, “i think y/n isn’t feeling great. maybe she drank too much? and i’m kind of tired anyway, so i’m gonna take her home. we’ll see you later.” she leans in to whisper something privately to sana, who squeals and shoves momo’s shoulder. then sana waves you both off, turning back to cheer jihyo on as she tosses a ping pong ball into a cup.

and then you’re out the door, stumbling as you walk the few short minutes to momo’s place, giggling as momo pulls you into her arms every few steps to kiss you exuberantly.

you’ve never actually been to momo’s apartment, you realize. it’s nice; it’s relatively simple, a comfortable lived-in vibe filling the space. in the back of your mind, behind the haze of tequila shots, jungle juice, cherry bombs, beer, and weed, you remember that this isn’t just momo’s apartment—this is also sana and nayeon’s new apartment, the three having just moved in together recently.

you follow momo to one of the rooms, presumably hers. as she punches the numbers into her keypad, you take a moment to check your phone. you have a text from chaeyoung.

text me when you get home please, it reads.

not sure when i’ll be home but i’m okay! i’m at momo’s, you respond before following momo through the door.

quietly, you take a moment to observe momo’s room. it’s cozy, photos adorning the walls along with a bunch of figurines momo must like. there are a few drawings hung on the walls, too, and if you lean in, you can see on each of them a signature that looks kind of like momo’s name.

before you can get a closer look, though, momo’s running her fingers down your arm, pressing feather-light kisses against the back of your neck and your shoulders. you turn and wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her into a proper kiss as she settles her hands along your waist. she kisses you with vigor, smiling as you respond just as fervently. she pushes you lightly, the backs of your knees hitting her mattress, making you fall backwards onto the bed. she makes quick work of your clothes, pulling your top and pants off as she kisses down your skin. momo takes her shirt off and you stare at her muscular arms and abs in reverence. your jaw drops when she pulls off her bra next; her boobs are actually perfect. it’s like she’s not even real. she smirks as she pulls her pants down her legs and kicks them to the floor, shaking you from your daze. then she crawls back on top of you, leaves another hickey on your chest, strokes your hair.

“if you wanna stop at any point, just tell me.” her voice is gentle but insistent, and you nod.

“same here,” you respond, and she sends you a little smile that’s entirely too cute for her own good.

she undoes the clasp of your bra, throws it somewhere to the side and momo descends immediately, full lips around your nipple, sucking hard and assertive, the other one rolled between two fingers. after you begin panting, she switches sides, makes sure to pay attention to both of your breasts as you let out lewd moans and sighs.

you lose yourself like that for a while as she pleasures your tits before eventually she removes her mouth from your chest, shifts up a little, grinds down on your thigh—you can feel the heat from between her legs, the soaked fabric of her panties pressing down onto your skin. you let out a whine.

“you sound so pretty for me, baby,” momo breathes into your collarbone. she sucks a dark hickey at the base of your throat. you moan again, the sound vibrating against momo’s lips. you let your hand drift down towards her clothed core, rubbing circles against the wet spot on her panties. she lets out a whimper, and you push her a little so she sits up. you easily pull her panties off, let them fall to the floor. you use your fingers to tease at her folds, coating them in her slick. you start to rub circles on her clit and she lets out a series of breathy, high-pitched whines. you keep going like that for a while, momo pulling you down to make out with her as you stimulate her clit. soon, momo’s body is shaking. “i need your fingers in me, y/n,” she chokes out. 

you hum. “ask me nicely.”

“please, y/n. please fuck me with your fingers.” you lick your lips and nod.

you start by easing one finger inside her, thrusting in and out until she’s whimpering softly. then, you add another finger, curling them both upwards as you sink them into her pussy, caressing her g-spot. momo groans, low and sensual, as you start to fuck into her with your fingers. with each thrust, your palm makes contact with her clit, and eventually her head starts to loll back, loud moans rising out of her mouth.

you think you could get addicted to this—her sounds, her heat, her pleasure. it’s enough to get you dripping.

“i’m gonna cum,” momo gasps out. “oh, fuck—i’m—”

you nearly cum when her orgasm takes over, grunts and whines falling from her lips as she shudders and gushes onto your fingers. you slow down, rub at her clit gently a few times before eventually pulling your fingers out. you shove them into momo’s mouth. “suck,” you command, and she does so immediately, tongue flicking around your digits. “good girl.” you take your fingers out and immediately pull her into a kiss, licking into her mouth and tasting her cum on her tongue, sweet and tangy and a little salty.

yeah, you could definitely get addicted to this.

for a while, you kiss her like that, her heavy breathing eventually evening out as she recovers from her climax. slowly, momo slides her hand downwards, stopping at the edge of your panties. she circles the hem of your underwear, presses a kiss into your neck again. your breath catches in your throat. you’re positively soaked. momo moves down, settles between your thighs. she kisses at the wetness on your panties, reaches up, pulls them down your legs, over your thighs, tosses them away from the bed. she kisses your clit and you whimper. you look down and oh—she makes eye contact with you, smirks, licks into your slit, collecting your slick on her warm tongue.

momo sucks at your clit just as unrelentingly as she had your nipple, and you’ve always been so sensitive. you’re moaning, breath ragged, body shaking as momo licks at your cunt.

you’re so drenched, momo easily slips two fingers in and starts pumping them in and out. the feeling of her fingers curling into your g-spot makes you gasp, and she keeps darting her tongue against your clit, licking against your labia, spreading your wetness around her mouth. you moan loudly and your hands fall to grip at her head, grasping into her hair.

you let out a strangled, “oh fuck, momo, oh my god—” as her fingers fuck into you, tongue licking broadly against your folds and flicking against your clit. her lips wrap around your bud and she sucks, the sensation sending you over the edge. “momo, i’m gonna cum, ’m gonna—fuck—”

your body goes slack as you cum powerfully, momo still lapping at your folds, sucking around your clit and thrusting her fingers into you. eventually, she pulls away, lets you lay there as you recover, brushes your hair out of your face. she gets up off the bed and says, “be right back.” then she’s rummaging through her drawers as you close your eyes, trying to catch your breath.

you notice her shadow looming over you when she returns. “so,” momo breathes out, tugging at your hair. you let out a whimper. “i have something else i’d like to try with you, if you’re up for it?” you open your eyes and look at her, see the harness and pink silicone dildo in her hands. instantly, you sit up and surge towards her, kissing her desperately. she pulls away with a laugh and says, “i’ll take that as a yes, then.”

before you know it, you’re face down on the bed, on your hands and knees, elbows resting on her pillow, back arched and legs spread. momo runs her hands down your back as you shiver, grips your left hip, uses her other hand to rub the tip of the shaft along your dripping slit. she teases you leisurely and you quickly begin to grow impatient. you whine pathetically, “more. i need all of you. please, momo.”

momo’s mouth quirks up in satisfaction. “you’re a greedy little whore, huh?” but she complies, places the head against your pussy, pushes the tip in, doesn’t wait for you to adjust and slides the length all the way into you in one movement. you grasp tightly at the sheets beneath you, letting out a low moan. momo slowly pulls out, looks smug at the slickness spread along the strap, pushes back inside you with a giggle. she pulls out again, repeats the action, thrusting harder and quicker each time, hands gripping your ass firmly. she’s found a good rhythm and she lets out a deep groan. you feel yourself clench at the sound, thighs quivering as pleasure surges throughout you.

she continues to fuck into you deeply until eventually your arms begin to give out; she slows momentarily, pulls out completely, grabs your hips and flips you over so you’re on your back, staring up at her. she lines up the dildo against your cunt again, buries the shaft in you, but she doesn’t move. instead, she smirks down at you as you begin to whimper desperately.

“what is it, baby? use your words.”

“momo,” you gasp out, “please move, please.”

she tilts her head. you’re squirming, trying to fuck yourself on her dick, but momo’s strong, holding you in place, preventing you from finding your own pleasure. “beg properly,” she drawls, “and maybe i’ll think about it.”

“will you please move, momo? i’ll do anything, baby, please, i need your cock so bad,” you cry. “please fuck me, please i’ll be such a good slut for you, momo, just please move, please.”

“how cute,” she coos before she starts fucking you at the same pace as before, hitting hard and deep inside you every time. you’re gasping and grunting each time she thrusts, her round eyes shining in amusement as she stares down at you. you eventually break eye contact when you glance at her body.

the sight of momo’s toned abs and round tits glistening with a thin layer of sweat nearly makes you lose your mind, and you claw desperately at her arms. she starts rubbing at your clit with one hand, the other holding you down securely by your waist. the combined stimulation sends you into overdrive, and your breath hitches, vision begins to blur, body shakes frantically with momo’s name falling from your lips repeatedly as your orgasm ripples through every part of you.

as you come down from your high, momo slips out of you, making you exhale sharply as you adjust to the loss. you feel completely wrecked, pussy raw and sore from the intensity of momo’s actions. she quickly leaves to bring you some towels and a glass of water. she returns with a soft expression; the two of you lay together as she gently, carefully wipes you down. you sip at your water gratefully, finishing the entire glass, but you can feel fatigue engulfing your body. she practically carries you to the bathroom, where she lends you a spare toothbrush and leaves you to use the toilet. when you’re finished, she really does pick you up this time, setting you gently on her bed, pulling the sheets up over your body. you barely manage to whisper out a “thank you” before you’re passed out, surrounded by momo’s scent and breathing peacefully. momo just smiles, tucks your hair behind your ear, presses a soft kiss against your forehead. as you fall into a deep slumber, she gets up, folds your clothes and puts them in a tote bag, finds your phone. noticing your almost-dead battery, she plugs it into a spare charger. then she crawls into bed next to you, turns off her light, and falls asleep to the soothing rise and fall of your chest next to her.

you roll over, eyes sticky with exhaustion and haziness. your body aches, and you reach a heavy hand out to find your phone. you feel around for a few moments before your phone is pushed gently into your hand. startled, you blink a few times and sit up.

momo lays next to you, body half-covered by the sheets, lips cut into a smirk. “good morning,” she husks quietly. “sleep well?” you stare at her for a moment. you’re aware that you’re both still naked, and you try not to think about her flawless chest and delicious abs.

“uh, good morning. yes. yeah. uh, i… i did. did you?” your brain feels all jumbled and looking at momo doesn’t seem to help.

“sure did,” she drawls with a grin, all teeth and rosy cheeks. “your phone’s being blowing up all morning, by the way.” you look down at the device and unlock the screen. your notifications are flooded with missed calls and texts from your friends—sana and chaeyoung’s names seem to take up the majority of them. noticing the time, your eyes widen comically.

“holy shit,” you breathe, head snapping up to look at momo. “uh… fuck. i am so sorry.”

her head tilts, adorably confused. “what for?” she shifts forward, reaching for your torso. she tugs at you a little until she’s snuggled against your body, burying her head into your side and wrapping an arm around your midsection.

“uh.” it seems to be your favorite word this morning. “for staying here so long? i didn’t mean to fall asleep here, i swear.” momo just laughs softly and closes her eyes.

“i don’t mind,” she sighs into your skin. your heart starts to beat a little faster.

“are you sure?”

she hums. “yeah. i even made breakfast, if you’re ready to eat. i wouldn’t have done that if i weren’t okay with you staying here.” her tone is teasing, but you can feel the sincerity in her voice. it makes you blush.

you squeak, “you made breakfast?”

“mm,” she responds. “just before you woke up. should still be warm. you still like waffles, yeah?”

“uh,” you repeat. you mentally kick yourself—where is your eloquence? “waffles are… good. hey, is sana here? and nayeon?”

her lips twitch. “would i have made breakfast naked if they were?” you turn bright red. “nayeon decided to head over to jeongyeon’s last night,” momo continues, “and dahyun took sana home with her and tzuyu. neither of them will be back until later.”

“oh, okay,” you exhale. “right. so, uh…” you don’t quite know how to say the words.

“hey, if you’re worried about this ruining our friendship,” momo starts, fiddling with her fingers, “we don’t have to make it anything more than just a hookup. we don’t even have to mention it again, if you’d like. i don’t mind. it’s your call.”

instantly, you flush, embarrassed that she’s read you so easily. “i’m sorry,” you say quickly. “it’s just—last night was incredible, beyond incredible, and you were so good, really, but i just don’t want this to make things weird between us. you’re one of my best friends and i like being with you, you know?” stop talking, you think. momo raises an eyebrow and you can’t help but continue, “not like that—or, well, maybe like that, if that’s something you want, because i definitely wouldn’t be opposed.” oh my god, stop! talking! your cheeks are hot and you look down at the floor.

momo lets out a laugh and reaches for your hand, prompting you to look back up at her. “y/n, it’s okay. i’m not, like, offended or anything. i totally get it. i’d never want to jeopardize our friendship, either. but it doesn’t have to make things weird. because i also like being with you, whether it ends like it did last night or not. no pressure. we don’t have to do anything you don’t want. we can just go with the flow.” she sends you a comforting smile. “how about we eat breakfast now? before it goes cold.”

“sure,” you agree, “but i might need help walking over there.”

momo’s proud smirk that follows replays in your mind even weeks later.

when you’d come home the day after jihyo’s kickback, chaeyoung had asked about your sleepover at momo’s, but she didn’t seem to think much of it. miraculously, none of the girls had noticed the array of hickeys that momo had left all over your body, or wondered why you’d spent the rest of the weekend entirely in bed, only moving to get ready.

before you’d left her apartment that day, you’d mustered up the courage to lean in to kiss her, and momo had closed the distance before saying goodbye sweetly. you’d given in and texted momo not even two hours later, and ever since then, you’ve been chatting back and forth with the older girl, messages flirtier than they’ve ever been, tension accumulating as the weeks go by. you see momo a lot when you hang out with your friends, and nobody seems to think anything of it when she intertwines her fingers with yours or pulls you into frequent hugs, hands gripping at your waist. you hang out with her alone, too, though it’s all been completely friendly so far, with only your texts to insinuate there might be something else between you. you won’t say it to her, but you really wouldn’t mind if she just kissed you sometimes, or edged you in the bathroom during lunch, maybe.

on one morning, between classes, you go for coffee with her and sana—invitation extended by momo followed by a mouthwatering mirror pic of her, post-workout, abs gleaning with sweat and thumb hooked into the front of her joggers, along with the message working on my stamina. needless to say, you’d nearly forgotten about the coffee entirely.

“you guys seem to have gotten really close recently,” sana remarks as momo goes to pick up your orders. the two of you sit at a table, observing the oldest girl as she thanks the barista and starts to carry the tray back over to you.

“well, we were close before,” you say, trying to not sound too affected. “but i guess we have been hanging out a lot more recently.” momo takes her seat then, passing out your drinks and pastries. sana just hums and fails to hide a smile behind her cold brew. you cough.

before you head to your next class, sana pulls you aside as momo’s tossing away your trash. “just so you know,” she whispers, “i think you should go for it. if you like her, i mean. you’re totally momo’s type.”

before you can respond, momo’s standing in front of you, doe eyes sparkling as she swings her bag over her shoulder. sana winks at you.

you bid them both goodbye and make your way to class. it’s kind of funny—the entire time, all you can think about is sana saying you’re totally momo’s type. you try to ignore how the thought sets your skin on fire.

you have statistics class with tzuyu, jihyo, and momo every tuesday and thursday at 10 a.m.

only now, you start to notice momo—she always sits at the end of the row next to tzuyu, while you sit in between tzuyu and jihyo. momo’s quietly immersed in her phone most of the time. she doesn’t really take notes, or even listen to your professor. in fact, whenever your eyes find her, she’s always staring into space or typing something on her phone. sometimes you catch her with her notebook open and pencil scrawling something across the pages, but you can see she’s just doodling. you wonder what her grade is. after all, you spend half your time in this class playing games and texting with tzuyu, and the both of you are barely clinging to a low B as it is. jihyo, on the other hand, is always focused—her hard-earned A is the reflection of her determination and work ethic.

you subtly begin to switch seats with tzuyu so you can sit next to momo. tzuyu doesn’t really seem to notice or care, but one day, after a couple weeks, jihyo asks you about it as you slide into a seat, five minutes early for class.

“why are you sitting there?”

“huh?” you say smartly, pulling out your notebook and pencil. jihyo does the same, but she gives you a look.

“tzuyu usually sits next to momo. what, you don’t like sitting next to me anymore?”

“oh! no, that’s not it. uh, i guess i just didn’t notice.” you hope it comes out as casual as possible. jihyo gives you another look, which you ignore, and pulls out her stuff, settling into her seat.

“momo! hey!” at jihyo’s words, you nearly break your neck looking up so quickly. jihyo tries to stifle a guffaw.

“hey jihyo.” momo glances towards you and her eyes sparkle more brightly. “hi, y/n.”

“hi momo,” you reply breathlessly. again, you pay no mind to the giant grin jihyo’s sending your way.

momo drops into the seat next to you, scoots a little closer to you, her leg brushing against yours. your breath falters slightly. jihyo suppresses a cackle; you ignore her resolutely. “are you guys ready for the test next week?”

“wait, there’s a test next week?” you squeak.

“hey, you should’ve been paying attention.” jihyo tsks. “i invited you the other day to come to my study session. at least tzuyu actually showed up.”

“well, we can still study until the test,” momo offers. she glances at you. “y/n, what do you think?”

“oh, uh.” you look at momo. “sure. i could use the extra help. i mean, tzuyu and i…” you peek over at jihyo sheepishly. “well, yeah. i could use the extra help.” momo lets out a laugh and you blush.

jihyo rolls her eyes. “oh, now you want to study together? hey, you missed your chance.”

you wince. “sorry about that again. it’s just… well, i just didn’t feel like studying.” momo can’t help but giggle again at that. secretly, you’re preening inside at the sound.

“you can study with me.” momo leans closer to you. you stare at her, brain faltering at her close proximity. “i might not be a genius like jihyo, but i’m good. good enough to have an A, at least.”

you’re about to respond when tzuyu hurls herself into the seat between you and jihyo. “hey guys! did i miss anything?”

“hey tzuyu.” momo looks at her. “no, not yet. we were just saying we should study together again before the unit test, maybe next week?” you all agree and begin to make plans, but quickly quiet down when you notice the professor walk in.

the entire lecture, all you can focus on is momo—momo’s leg, pressed against your own—momo’s fingers, tapping every so often along the desk—momo’s perfume, something sweet and citrusy and a little powdery—momo’s jawline, sharp and gorgeous—momo’s eyes, huge and twinkling—

you don’t even notice when class ends, only registering it when momo’s standing up to leave, waggling her fingers teasingly at you as she exits the hall. jihyo and tzuyu gesture for you to hurry up and gather your things. you look down at your notebook, page completely empty save for the words stop staring at me in momo’s cute handwriting scrawled next to a heart.

jihyo and tzuyu exchange a look as you stare at the paper. when you peer up at them, jihyo just laughs. tzuyu rolls her eyes but sends a soft expression towards you. you suddenly feel very dizzy.

you’d spent the week trying to study to prepare for your statistics test, but you didn’t seem to get very far. now, you’re standing in front of momo’s door, textbook in hand with your bag slung over your shoulder as you knock gently.

jihyo and tzuyu had chosen to study on their own, with jihyo ultimately deciding that you would be too distracting for tzuyu to focus if you were together. she’d offered to study with you separately, but you’d instead jumped at the chance to ask momo to study with you. jihyo hadn’t tried to convince you otherwise, just giving you a knowing wink, and momo was more than happy to say yes.

the door opens to reveal a barefaced momo, dressed comfortably in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, doe eyes blinking at you behind big round glasses, fluffy hair falling softly around her face. your heart bursts at the sight. she beams at you before pulling you into a hug, shutting the door behind you.

“hey, you,” she greets you fondly. “ready to study, buddy?” you roll your eyes but laugh anyway.

“i guess,” you respond. “but to be completely honest, i’m pretty lost on this whole unit. and not just because i usually spend half of lecture beating tzuyu at candy crush.” momo raises an eyebrow at that. “i mean, i’m not stupid or anything, but it kinda just doesn’t click for me. just to warn you.”

momo just shrugs, gives you a comforting smile. “that’s okay. i’m pretty patient.”

you follow her to her room and you settle on the floor, pulling out your materials. for a while, you’re determined and fully concentrated on your studies. momo’s not wrong: she’s extremely patient, and the way she explains things is direct and simple, and somehow, things start to fall into place, and you grasp the concepts from the unit fairly quickly.

but after a couple hours, your focus begins to waver, and you find yourself incredibly distracted by the slope of momo’s nose, the mole on her neck, the rosiness of her cheeks—

“you’re staring,” momo singsongs, breaking your train of thought. her mouth is configured in a lopsided grin. you blink. “again.”

“sorry,” you say, not feeling very sorry at all. “you’re just really… you know. pretty.”

“i’m pretty?” she smirks at you, leans into your personal space. you nod dumbly and she giggles. she tilts her head forward to capture your lips in a kiss, and you can’t help but sigh. despite her flirty behavior, it’s been almost two months since you’d last kissed, since you’d spent the night with her after jihyo’s party, and you missed it. you missed her.

the two of you collapse onto her bed and kiss lazily for a while; you relish in her gentle touches and natural beauty. she’s so pretty. she’s certainly handsome, too, you think. she’s honestly just the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen in your entire life. her lips are soft and full, dragging lightly along your jawline before she nips at your throat. you whimper quietly as momo bites down on you again.

statistics long forgotten, you take your top off, toss it to momo’s floor.

momo’s plump lips are pressing hot, wet kisses against the column of your neck. you try to keep your composure, but a guttural moan makes its way out of your mouth and you instantly flush red. momo pulls at your pants, tugging them and your panties down your legs.

momo eats you out until you’re trembling, chest heaving and nothing but moans and broken speech falling from your lips. her lips and chin glisten with your slick, but she just gives you a quick kiss before leaning back down and attaching her mouth around your clit again. you fall apart once, twice, three times—your clit throbs intensely, painfully, too sensitive to keep going. but you don’t tell her to stop, so momo doesn’t stop, and you really like that she doesn’t stop. by the time you’re shuddering your way into a seventh orgasm, you’re limp and mumbling incoherently. momo finally lets up, licks into your mouth instead, your own cum coating your tongue as she kisses you wetly, desperately.

you go home that night feeling complete—and momo completes you again and again and again for hours when you show up at her place a week later, a giant A displayed at the top of your statistics test.

you’re pretty sure you’re addicted to momo.

you hang out with the older girl constantly. you go to movies together, study together, eat meals together. you don’t even go out to parties anymore, unless it’s held by one of your friends, choosing to go out with momo instead. you can’t remember the last time you saw yooyeon or jiwon. it hardly matters when you’re settled between momo’s thighs, lips wrapped around her clit, the sweetness of her cum dancing along every corner of your mouth.

eventually, you’re ending every other night in momo’s room. it doesn’t always involve sex—really, you just feel like being around momo. it’s nice. momo certainly isn’t complaining.

she starts to keep a toothbrush for you in her bathroom, and your clothes begin to mix in with her own closet.

chaeyoung doesn’t text you asking when you’re coming home anymore. instead, she asks if you’re coming over. whenever you swing by what’s technically your apartment with momo in tow, chaeyoung beams hugely at you, gives you a wink or a thumbs up. it’s only mildly embarrassing.

you’ve never had a friend quite like momo—she’s in a league of her own. she’s easily the best hookup you’ve ever had. you feel lucky just to be friends with her.

you think about momo’s taut abs, the way her skilled tongue curls inside you, her incredible stamina. you think about her contagious laugh, her alarmingly loud sneezes, her focused expression when she’s cooking something in the kitchen. you like all of these things about momo. you decide that, yeah, momo feels right. your head starts to spin when you think about what that means.

it dawns on you that this was what you’d been feeling every time you think about momo—want, pure desire, love. you’ve never craved anything or anyone like this before. you never felt want like this, love like this—it never felt right, not unless it was momo.

you’re at dinner with jeongyeon when you finally get the bright idea to actually tell momo you love her.

really, it’s more like jeongyeon hands you the idea on a silver platter.

“you seem happy,” jeongyeon says before biting into a dumpling.

you hum. “i am happy,” you say, not at all surprised to find your thoughts immediately drifting to momo. you begin to space out a bit as you think about all your recent memories with her; it’s not just the sex that’s good, but she makes you feel alive. when you’re with her, you forget about the rest of the world. it feels good to be around her. even just thinking about momo makes you feel at ease, content.

jeongyeon smiles at you, eyes softening. “so you and momo made it official then?”

that jolts you out of your reverie.

“momo—official—we aren’t—what?” you splutter incredulously. you stare at jeongyeon. she just blinks at you.

“you and momo,” she repeats, slower this time. “aren’t you guys, like, dating?” she says it so casually, in between bites of meat—you feel like the world has stopped spinning. “did she finally ask you to be her girlfriend?”

“momo and i are not dating,” you choke out nervously. “where in the world did you get that idea?”

jeongyeon stops chewing, swallows haltingly. “you’re kidding, right?” she sits up straighter, looks you in the eyes. “you guys aren’t subtle. like, at all. you know, we’re polite, not blind. those hickeys aren’t invisible, and you only got away with faking sick so many times before it tipped us off that something was up. plus, you’re always looking at each other with heart eyes. it’s kind of sickening, actually.”

you sit in silence as you absorb this. after a beat, you croak, “so, all of you… know about the sex?” she nods. “i see. well, honestly, i love her. but i’m worried that she’s not there yet.”

jeongyeon looks at you. “y/n, i’m pretty sure everyone knows that momo loves you. like, i’m not kidding, but she’s had a crush on you since you met. just ask sana. she’s been playing wingwoman for momo for months and it was like you were completely blind until the first time you and momo kissed. you know sana called me that night, drunk in dahyun’s bed, both of them shouting at me to start planning the wedding? mina helps momo pick out outfits for your dates. nayeon buys extra groceries because you practically live at their apartment now, and don’t think chaeyoung hasn’t noticed that. don’t even get me started on the updates jihyo and tzuyu send every week.” she decides to make it very clear to you. “momo talks nonstop about you, and the sex isn’t even a quarter of her rambling.” she rolls her eyes, but her lips stretch into a tender smile.

“oh. i guess i should probably do something about this, huh?” you rub your fingers at your neck as jeongyeon just rolls her eyes again.

“yeah,” she responds. “make it simple and just tell her ‘i love you.’”

you unlock momo’s room when you return from dinner and march up to momo, who’s laying on her bed, listening to music and staring at the ceiling absentmindedly. “i love you,” you say to her, feeling completely breathless. she sits up, looks extremely confused, but smiles blindingly at you. “i’m sorry i didn’t say it sooner.” you pause. “all of our friends seem to be under the impression that you love me back, so…” you trail off shyly.

“well, they’re not wrong,” she laughs out. “i do love you back.” you’re blushing, but momo just reaches towards you, pulls you onto her bed next to her. “no need to be sorry, by the way. i told you i was patient.”

that night, you see stars over and over and over as you and momo make love for hours until you’re both ready to pass out.

when your eyes finally shut, the last thing you register before you drift to sleep is momo whispering against your lips, “i love you.” and you think love might just be your new favorite word in the world.

[runningfrom2am]

the finer things in life // LTPF

summary: coryo merely tolerates you at the beginning of the series. this, is why.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 4.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. underage drinking/drug use (its just weed dw), some suggestive content that's not explicit (that's a first for me woah).

a/n: THIS DROPS SOME MAJOR LORE FOR THIS SERIES LIKE PLS- this is so fun and i hope you guys really like it bc i stepped out of my comfort zone a bit here. anyway, happy new year!! as a treat, have r and coryo getting way too messed up for their own good :)

this is mentioned in one of the parts of s2 (oh god i have no clue which one but trust me.) anyway, here's the night they were talking about.

series masterlist // playlist

"Hey, Coryo." You smile, sitting yourself down across from him at the lunch table.

"Y/N/N." He nods, hardly looking up from his food.

"So," You him, leaning forward with your elbows on either side of your plate. "Are you coming to Livia's big party this weekend?"

He shrugs, swallowing before looking up at you. "I don't know. Maybe. Feels a little... trivial."

"Ugh," You scoff, playfully rolling your eyes. "Of course it's trivial, Coriolanus. It's a birthday party for a seventeen year old that's probably going to have fireworks and a four tier wedding cake." You laugh. "But I have to go, so you should too."

He smiles at you a little, tilting his head with a raised eyebrow. "A wedding cake?"

"Probably. You saw the invitations." You chuckle. "We can walk together, and I'll see if I can sneak in some posca from our cellar. Please?" You plead.

"Won't your parents be driving you? I wouldn't want to impose." Coryo insists politely.

"Oh, god, no." You laugh. "They're allegedly busy. My father will be working, and my mother will be waiting for him to finish work. Can't tear her away from that. My theory is that they just don't want to go."

"Oh, I see." He replies. Your parents not attending social events wasn't uncommon. Their attention was notoriously hard to attract, and his parents had long since passed, so it was pretty standard for the two of you to either walk together or get your driver to take the two of you places alone.

"Yeah! I think we'll end up walking because my brother has tutoring and god forbid he walk anywhere, but that way there's no dreadful small talk with my family anyway."

"Fine." Coryo agrees. "Only because it's you. Also, I don't think talking to your parents is dreadful, Y/N/N."

"It is. Don't lie." You laugh, taking a bite out of your cookie and waving him off.

You hear the doorbell and run to answer it before anyone else can. "Mom! Coryo's here, I'm leaving now! Bye!"

"You're not going to invite him in?" Your mom asks, cutting you off in the foyer.

"We're already running late, sorry!" You insist, adjusting your hold on the two gift bags in your hands very carefully.

"Alright, well, have fun, dear. Extend our apologies to Livia's parents for us."

"Will do!" You nod, giving her a quick thumbs up before opening the door.

"What do you need a bag for?" She asks and you roll your eyes at your friend standing in front of you before turning to face her again.

"They have a pool, I might need to change." You groan.

"Oh, right." She seems satisfied with that answer. "Hello, Coriolanus, how are you doing tonight?" She asks, turning her attention to him.

"I'm well, Ma'am. Thank you. And you?" He smiles politely.

"We gotta go, Mom, bye!" You shut the door before she can answer.

As soon as you're out of sight from your house, you stop and dig through the tissue paper in one of the gift bags.

"Isn't that for Liv-" Coryo's question is cut off by you holding a bottle of a nondescript liquor out to him.

"This one is for us." You smile, taking another bottle out before shoving the folded-up gift bag into your backpack. "Cheers." You twist the cap off of yours, knocking it against the one he's awkwardly holding before taking a swig.

"Posca? Should we..." He clears his throat. "Should we really be drinking? I feel like we'll get in trouble."

"It's not Posca, it's better. Besides, no trouble if no one knows." You reassure him. "Also, I would bet money that we show up and Festus and Pup are already stumbling."

"You're the most terrible influence, Y/L/N." Coryo shakes his head with a smile on his face, opening the bottle anyway to try it.

"No!" You laugh. "This is good for us. It makes me more... digestible to these stuck-ups."

"Are you not included in that group?"

"Oh, Coriolanus Snow, we are at the top of the list."

The air in the expansive house is as hot and stuffy as it could possibly be. It reminded you so much of your own, but warmer, in a way. Maybe it was just the sheer volume of people inside and the buzz of alcohol in your system.

Livia's parents had been kind enough to leave the whole back garden and pool for you kids to enjoy, and to have your own space free from all of the adults who were also invited.

It was warm out for a May evening when you finally made it outside after saying your 'hello's to all your classmates' parents. Your own parents insisted that you spend a decent amount of time doing so, despite them not being able to make it. Coryo was known to do this as well, so you made your rounds together before thanking the Cardew's for the invitations and they showed you where all the other kids were outside.

Coryo already wanted to leave, and if you did as well, you were good at hiding it. He couldn't tell, blindly following you through the crowded house before making it outside.

"Party's here!" You call out as you step out onto the patio, allowing Coryo to close the door behind you.

"Y/N, you gorgeous girl, finally!" You're quickly greeted by Hilarius Heavensbee, and god, Coryo has never hated him more as the boy is wrapping his arms around you. His attempts at flirting with you are humiliating- Coriolanus doesn't know how he couldn't see that he was embarrassing himself.

"Hilary, you flatter me." You chuckle, gently patting his back with your free hand as you pull away.

"You know I try." He laughs, shrugging as he slides in between the two of you, draping an arm over your shoulder.

"Where's the birthday girl?" You ask, holding up the gift bag. "I need to ditch this."

"That's a good question..." Your classmate says, scanning the groups scattered across the lawn in search of Livia.

"I can carry that, if you'd like." Coryo offers, desperate to remind you of his presence. He wasn't going to let you ditch him- you were the only reason he even attended.

"Oh, no. I've got it. Thank you, though." You wave him off, looking up at the boy whose arm is sitting over your shoulder uncomfortably. "Hilary, could you grab Coryo and I some glasses, please?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." He says, stepping away. "What do you want?"

"Oh, just the glasses please. We brought our own drinks." You wink.

"Alright, but only if you share." He chuckles.

"I'm nothing if not generous." You joke, pushing him in the direction of where you see the beverage table is set up.

"His share is coming out of your bottle." Coryo says once the boy is out of earshot.

"Who do you think I am?" You ask, placing the giftbag on the ground and grabbing your bag off your shoulder, digging through the fabric you used to muffle the sounds of glass bottles rattling against one another. "I brought enough for the class."

"Of course you did." He chuckles, shaking his head slightly as you carefully pull another bottle out of the bag. "Be a doll, go dump this in the punch?" You smile up at him, holding it out to him expectantly.

"No! I'm not spiking anything." He laughs.

"Suit yourself, Boryo Coryo." You sigh with a teasing smile, placing your bags on the ground and walking over to the table at the side of the house, unscrewing the cap as you go.

"Where'd Y/N/N go?" Hilarius asks, returning to Coryo's side. He just nods over to you in response, not tearing his gaze away from your form as you dump the contents of the bottle into the bowl.

"Ah, gotcha." Your classmate laughs, holding an empty glass out for Coryo to take.

Coryo mutters a quiet 'thanks', refocusing himself on inspecting the glass in his hand for any dirt or fingerprints. It was spotless- of course it was.

"So, are you guys like... together? Or what's the deal?"

"Pardon?" Coryo is taken aback by the question, finally looking up at the boy.

"You and Y/N." He gestures toward you as you stir the bowl, simultaneously holding the mostly empty bottle up to your lips to let the last few drops fall onto your tongue. "You're always hovering around each other. Anything more to it? Everyone is wondering, but no one dares ask her."

"Oh. No." Coryo shakes his head, wishing his glass was full of whatever bitter alcohol you'd gifted him so he could down it all in one go.

"Sweet." Hilarius grins to himself, watching you intently.

Coryo raises an eyebrow at Hilarius, perplexed by his reaction. "What's so sweet about it?" he asks, trying to understand the amused grin on Hilarius' face.

Hilarius chuckles, leaning in slightly as if about to share a secret. "If you're not gonna go for her, I will."

Coryo's cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. "Be my guest." He spits through gritted teeth. He should have drank more- perhaps it would have made Hilarius's juvenile pursuits more tolerable.

Hilarius nudges him playfully, "Life's too short for missed opportunities, if you ask me." He looks back at you again, not so subtly raking his eyes over your figure and how it fits in your favourite party dress. "And that would be a damn shame of a missed opportunity."

Coryo glances over at you, catching your eye for a brief moment before quickly looking away. He clears his throat awkwardly. "If you say so. I find she's quite... overwhelming, at times."

"That's the best thing about her." Hilarius muses. "Just imagine it... You know what I mean? I bet she's just crazy. In a really good way."

Coryo's brow furrows at the implication, both from offense and intrigue. He knew you were stunning- even a fool could have told him that, but it was to make a mockery of your name to only look at you and see merely the potential of what you could do with your body. To him, you were like morning rain in the springtime; a breath of fresh air when you didn't have to defend yourself at every turn, but Hilarius Heavensbee didn't know the first thing about walking in the rain.

"Don't be vile." Coryo scoffs, giving a slight shake of his head.

As you finish up with the concoction in the bowl, Coryo watches you with a newfound awareness, a subtle curiosity lingering behind his stare.What would it be like? It's not something he has ever considered, or even had the time or desire to look at anyone that way. Especially not you, you were so personal to him it was off limits even in his own head. He didn't understand the seemingly overnight shift a couple years ago now where all the boys in your class started looking at you and the other girls like pieces of meat, but suddenly watching you lick clean the spoon you used to stir the punch, he could see that maybe they had a point. What it would be like to hear you panting into his ear. Tired, loving, even, like he was the only man in the world who could make you feel so, so good. To have your deep red lipstick staining his skin, his shoulders, his neck, possibly lower. The idea of having to explain the stains on the inside of his shirt to Tigris when he pleads with her to somehow get them out has his heartbeat racing... Likely, though, it was just the liquor starting to settle in his veins, is what he decided as he adjusted the front of his dress pants.

Hilarius chuckles at Coryo's reaction, seemingly unfazed by his disapproval. "Relax, man. I'm just saying, life's too short not to appreciate the whole package. Y/N's got the brains, the looks, and that fiery spirit. It's like having your cake and eating it too."

Coryo arches an eyebrow, unconvinced. "I appreciate her for more than just appearances, you know."

Hilarius smirks knowingly. "Of course, of course. I'm just speaking from a purely hypothetical standpoint. No harm in imagining what could be."

Coryo shoots him a skeptical glance, but before he can respond, you join them, empty bottle in hand. "What's the topic?" you ask, catching the tail end of their conversation.

Hilarius grins, shrugging. "Oh, just discussing the finer things in life. You know, like cake."

You raise an eyebrow, sharing a confused glance with Coryo. "Cake? Really? Are we eight?"

Coryo rolls his eyes. "Apparently, it's a metaphor for appreciating the whole package."

You raise an eyebrow, but neither of them care to elaborate. "Well, I hope you both appreciate this 'whole package' of a potion I just whipped up. It should be interesting." You nod back toward the table, taking one of the glasses from your classmate to pour the remainder of your bottle out for the three of you.

By the time your unknowing classmates started to loosen up, you were sitting in a circle in a corner of the yard with a few others.

"I have a present for everyone." You state in a pause of conversation, and Coryo watches as you reach into the front of your dress, into your bra, and pull out a small paper bag.

"Uhm- what is that?" Clemensia asks, leaning back as if the bag would explode.

"Weed!" You laugh, looking around at the suddenly silent group of kids you're sitting with as you peel the bag open, the smell wafting through the air making some of your friends scrunch up their noses in disgust. "Oh my god- have none of you ever seen weed before?" You knew they hadn't, you hadn't really, either, but it was fun to tease them.

They all share confused and embarrassed glances. "Guys, come on..." You chuckle.

"I don't think we should..." Festus mumbles, clearing his throat. Of course he was going to be a baby about it.

"It's harmless! It's a plant, how much could something that grows out of the ground really hurt you?"

"Have you ever heard of poison ivy? Or that stuff poor people in the Districts burn to clean their houses or whatever?" Arachne spits, side-eying the bag on the ground.

"Sage isn't poisonous." Sejanus grumbles, hardly audible next to you.

"Okay, yes, but this is just weed. It's fun. Trust me." You plead, looking around at your friends, eyes locking on Coryo to your left.

"Okay, big shot, have you done it?" Clemensia asks, clearly already knowing the answer.

"Well... No, but there's a first time for everything, isn't there?" You smile. "Coryo, come on." You point him out in particular and he curses himself because he knows he can't say no to you.

"Okay... what do we do with it?" He questions quietly.

You squeal, the alcohol really showing as you lean into him, hugging him excitedly. "That's my boy! We smoke it."

"Alright, how?" Hilarius cuts in, forcing you to look at him instead of Coryo as you furrow your brow.

"Uh... that's a good question. I brought matches, though."

Sejanus sighs. "Anyone have an apple?" he speaks drawing everyone's attention, confused looks now focused on him.

"An apple?" Someone inquires about specifics, but you're busy making yourself comfortable closer to Coryo, leaning your head on his shoulder. When he realizes you're there to stay, he quickly reaches for the bottle at his side to take another swig. He's far too sober to have you all over him like this, he wonders if you could feel his heartbeat the way he could.

"To make a pipe." Sejanus explains, like it's obvious.

You smile, nodding at him. "You heard the boy- someone find him an apple!"

"And a pen." He adds.

"And a pen!"

It doesn't take long for the supplies to be acquired and passed over to him as you sit in a circle on the grass, watching Sejanus carefully as he uses the pen to dig into the core of the apple. You wanted to remember how, but the alcohol in your system was making it difficult to focus. You had to completely block out anything else happening around you.

"Y/N." You blink at your friend as he drops the pen into his lap, holding his free hand out to you.

"Huh?"

"The weed." He shakes his hand for you to pass him the bag.

"Oh! Right!" You giggle, reaching out for the bag and handing it to him as he pries it open.

"What are you doing?" Livia's voice comes from above you and you swivel your head, quickly getting dizzy from the movement.

"Y/N brought weed." Hilarius answers for him, smiling wide. "Isn't she just the coolest?"

Coryo stares at him, moving his arm tighter around your oblivious form so your classmates could better see his hold on you.

"I- um..." The birthday girl is caught off guard, and quickly looks over her shoulder up at the house. "Can you not do that here? Take it to the park across the street."

"Oh- Oh! Of course, yes." You nod, scrambling to get up, immediately pulling her into a hug. "I should have asked, I'm sorry." You slur, not noticing how tense she is under your hold.

"Are you... drunk?"

"Maybe." You giggle, holding a finger to your lips as you pull away. "Happy birthday, by the way! I brought a gift for you, 'is over there." You point over to the table you placed the bag under, swaying slightly.

"Yeah... I already opened it, remember?"

"Oh, shit. Right! Well, I hope you like it, Liv. You're just the best..." You hum, hugging her again as she gives a panicked look to your classmates behind you, who just laugh.

"Alright, let's get you out of here. We're gonna go to the park, okay Y/N/N?" Coryo says, prying you off of Livia and giving her an apologetic look.

"Right!" You giggle, turning so fast you almost lose your balance. "Who's coming?"

"I'll come." Hilarius nods, quickly getting up alongside Sejanus, but no one else moves or says a word.

"You guys are babies!" You laugh.

"And Y/N is a drunk at sixteen. We all have flaws." Persephone speaks up, smug smile on her face as she walks up behind Livia.

Immediately, Coryo is bracing you from swinging at her as your smile drops within an instant and you try and throw yourself at her, manicured hands open and grasping for her hair which you just miss as he holds you back.

"Yeah, that's enough." Coryo grunts, trying to hold you back without hurting you. "We should probably go."

"Coryo, let me go, she-" You hiss, trying to pry him off of you. You didn't know when he got so much bigger or stronger than you.

"Like I said, a drunk." Persephone chuckles, chewing every syllable as it comes out of her mouth.

"That's precious coming from a damn cannibal!" You spit, still trying to get through him as your classmate stares at you in shock. "Yeah- did you even know what your parents were feeding you? 'Cause I do! You probably liked it, you vulture!"

Hilarius holds back a laugh, coming up behind you and pulling you back, taking you from Coryo's grip and hoisting you up over his shoulder to carry you away as you hit at his back, screaming to be let down.

"That's our cue." Sejanus mutters, patting Coryo's shoulder and brushing past him to follow after you and your friend. "Thanks for having us, Livia!"

Coryo is fuming as he watches your classmate carry you away, but he still really can't pinpoint why. It must be the amount of alcohol- he's never drank this much before, but he has heard anger is a symptom. He's seen it in your father. Now, he's seen it in you; but it's not like that kind of outburst was abnormal coming from you. He's probably mad at Persephone for bringing that out of you. It's her fault, honestly.

He silently grabs your backpack and your bottles, half-hazardly throwing them in before swinging it over his shoulder and following after Sejanus without another word.

"So," Arachne states once he's out of earshot, taking a sip out of her glass as she remains on the ground. "Are we betting on Heavensbee or Snow to lose their virginity to her tonight?"

The group very quickly became a hung jury.

"Listen, I know the truth, okay, guys, hear me out." Clemensia speaks up over her arguing classmates. "Tonight, specifically, it'll be Hilarius." She holds her hand up to stop anyone who started arguing. "Coriolanus will probably wait until they're married or something, but trust me when I tell you that he will marry her."

"Marry her? We're sixteen, aren't you getting ahead of yourself, Clemmie?" Festus laughs, shaking his head.

"Obviously he doesn't know it yet, he's denser than over stirred cake batter, but he just follows her around like a lost puppy. That will never change, also, he's the only one that she's never had a problem with! And she'll fight with anyone!" Clemensia states, nodding with the finality of her statement. "That's all I have to say."

"Wait, you're telling me Coriolanus and Y/N aren't together?" Pup asks, just joining the conversation after sitting there confused for the last few minutes.

"My point exactly."

"Sejanus, you wizard, show us the ways." You giggle, plopping down on the ground where Hilarius carefully let you back onto your feet once you reached the park, previous argument completely forgotten.

"Okay." He laughs, sitting down next to you. "There's three holes in the apple. You hold it on the side like this, then you put the weed on the very top hole..." He explains as he's doing it, and you watch intently. "Then you hold the match up until it's burning, and you'll put your thumb over this hole here once you inhale it through the last one..." His voice trails off as he holds the apple up to your lips, doing all the work but letting you just breathe in the smoke.

You try, eyes closed as the three boys watch you until you pull away quickly to cough it all out as the smoke burned into your throat. "Oh my god..." You laugh, eyes watering as you continue to cough. "Your turn."

"You okay?" Hilarius asks with a slight chuckle, rubbing gentle circles into your back.

"Fine." You nod, quickly wiping your eyes.

"Here." Sejanus holds the apple out to the boy next to you. He takes it, and Coryo feels like he can finally breathe now that Hilarius doesn't have his hands on you.

"Where'd you learn this?" He asks Sejanus, ignoring your classmate following the same routine you did.

"Guess." Sejanus answers, looking over at him. "I don't smoke, but lots of my friends parents did. Back in Two."

"Right." The fact that they smoked around children didn't shock Coryo. Not one bit.

"Coryo, loosen up, man, you look like you're sitting with a stick up your ass." Hilarius offers it to him now, and he looks over at you. As if somehow you would tell him what to say.

"Try it!" You urge him on, shifting over so you're kneeling in front of him, taking the apple from Hilarius for him. "I'll light for you."

"Uh, okay, yeah." He swallows thickly, subconsciously leaning back a little bit at your closer proximity.

He takes the fruit from your hand, watching as your strike up a new match. "Tell me when you're ready..." You hum, moving even closer as he lifts the apple to his lips.

"Ready." He says quietly, and before you put the flames to the flowers, you're reaching up with your other hand to push his hair out of his face and hold it back for him so it doesn't somehow light.

He doesn't last long, looking into your eyes and trying to inhale the thick, abrasive smoke; it's only a second before he's pulling back quickly, coughing his lungs out as the other two boys laugh at him.

"It takes some getting used to, that's okay..." You smile, taking another hit while the flower was still burning.

You exhale, and it's smoother this time. "I did it!" You grin, choking only slightly over your words.

"Good job, Y/N/N." Sejanus laughs.

"You okay?" You ask Coryo and he nods, recovering from the coughing fit now as the weed really starts to take affect in your system.

You feel like your world is swaying as you kneel in front of him. "Did it work? Can you feel it?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"It's the second hit." You determine, feeling bold as you straddle yourself over his lap. "I've got an idea. Do you trust me?" You whisper and he nods quickly, leaning back on his palms. Once again, not nearly drunk enough for this.

"Yeah, you know what, I've gotta get back. My parents are heading out pretty quick, here..." Hilarius makes an excuse, but you can hardly even hear him now. "Sejanus, you coming?"

Clearly getting the message he nods, standing up and dusting off his pants. "Have fun, you two. Get home safe."

"Bye!" You giggle, waving to them with your free hand.

The silence that surrounds you is deafening, particularly for poor Coryo, who is fighting for his life to not move. Not that he doesn't want you this close, apparently he does; if his body and his mind racing with thoughts are any indicator, the biggest problem is that he wants to touch you. He knows he shouldn't.

"I've got an idea." You say again, attention returned to him. "But you have to trust me."

"I trust you." He mumbles with a slight nod.

"Good." You smile, taking yet another pull from the apple, holding it carefully the way Sejanus told you to.

You painfully hold your breath, feeling the drug cloud your mind as you put it down gently on the ground next to you. Coryo starts to panic as you lean in closer, closer than you've ever been to him before, and god, did he hate and love where this was going.

You stop, lips brushing against his as you let the smoke out of your lungs, and all he has to do is breathe. Why is that suddenly so hard? He manages, somehow, feeling the smoke from your lungs flood into his own.

Once you move back, settling yourself on his lap and tilting your head at him, he turns to breathe it all out away from you. He doesn't know if he can look back.

You smile, settling your arms around his neck and subconsciously playing with the ends of his hair. "How does it feel?"

"Good." He says quietly, finally gaining the courage to look up at you.

"Good?" You hum with a slight nod, letting yourself get closer to him again as he rests a hand on your waist.

"Really good." He confirms, looking into your eyes; glazed over from the substances you so carelessly consume. "Y/N/N?"

"Yes, my dear Coryo?" You answer, already getting giggly.

He doesn't say anything more.

Fuck it.

With his free hand he's grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you closer, crashing his lips against yours.

"Y/N, hey." Coryo greets you, catching up to you just as you get to the front doors of the academy. He hasn't seen you since Saturday night- since he walked you home after you spent nearly an hour kissing him absolutely senseless at the park across from Livia's home. He couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Coryo, hi." You smile, textbooks tucked into your arms as you join him walking into the front doors of the academy on Monday morning. "How are you feeling?"

"Me? Fine." He shrugs, failing to mention the crippling hangover he was nursing for all of the day prior.

"What?" You laugh, sighing with fake disappointment. "That's not fair. I was dying yesterday. Literally, when I woke up I thought I had died and gone to hell. I don't even remember how I got home."

"You don't?" He chuckles nervously.

"No. I don't remember a thing." You laugh. "That's how you know it was a good night, so I've heard."

"Really? Nothing at all?" He asks, nervousness and disappointment flashing behind his eyes.

"Well, I remember spiking the punch." You laugh. "Why, did I do something bad?" Your laugh is replaced with anxiety as your voice lowers so only he can hear, catching the look in his eye.

Coryo clears his throat, avoiding your gaze as he shakes his head. "No, well... You did call Persephone a cannibal. Tried to fight her."

"Oh, well, that's standard." You shrug. "No big deal, then."

"Yeah. No big deal."

taglist:@totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world@nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey ,  @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (04)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, the word "dick" is mentioned a few times lol, jeon jungkook (yes, bc at this point he's annoying even to me), yoongi is a menace, oc is fighting with everybody asdfgjkl girl 🙄, inaccuracies about music making !! and i hope obs readers aren't music majors bc that'd be really embarrassing for me lol, idk i think that's it

rating: PG-15

word count: 16.3k

note: a major thank you to @daechwitatamic for beta-ing this for me and for doing it so fast!!, you are a gem ily jo 🥺🥰 aaaaaand omg yeah! i can't believe the duck is here. he's finally here!!! ah we love to see it hehehehe :') it feels fitting that obs4 is the one to close off 2022 <3

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Ask your new lover what it's like to be given A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance,” Did anything ever really count Or was I just a two-year practice round?

Before - NIKI

Ah, the grand opening of Jimin’s own dance studio. It’s been in the works for a while now, ever since he quit his job as an instructor at that fancy academy downtown. 

When you arrive at the venue, the event is already in full swing. You would’ve come sooner, to see Jimin before things get too hectic and more people would want to steal him away to say their congratulations. You could’ve come sooner, had you accepted Jungkook’s offer to drive the both of you here. It’s the less time-consuming option, and one that’s more environmentally conscious, but you didn’t want to be left alone with Jungkook – not after what Namjoon had unintentionally revealed to you – in a space where you couldn’t force him to just talk about work while Jimin went to mingle with his guests, and Taehyung couldn’t get off work any earlier than 6:30.

You have to hand it to Jimin. He really went all out for this. The venue he booked looks amazing, and so much bigger than you expected, but that’s probably to accommodate the shit ton of people he invited tonight. There’s catering, cutesy party favors, and most importantly, an open bar that you absolutely would die for. Bless Jimin and his excessive spending heart.

Although, the photographer that he got for tonight can’t exactly be considered great. He looks young, maybe early 20s and still hasn’t learned how to lose the attitude yet, just walking around with his hefty camera and looking like he has a stick up his ass. He’s definitely being underpaid. Jimin must not have taken this factor into account until he had already exceeded his budget.

“Oh, Jiminie,” you mutter to yourself like a mom whose child just won the school talent show, making a beeline for Jimin and pulling him into a hug, not caring that he’s holding a flute of champagne that could’ve easily spilled onto you. “Jiminie, I’m so proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked, and you deserve this so much. I love you. You’re going to be amazing.”

Every single syllable that slips from your lips is genuine. You’ve seen how passionate Jimin is, and you know how long this has been a dream of his. In your eyes, he deserves the absolute world and more.

You kiss his cheek to emphasize the meaning behind your words. You’ve never been the sentimental type with your friends except for rare occasions like these. On birthdays, you're not the one to shoot them the first happy birthday! text at 12AM on the dot, nor are you the one to plan surprise parties and go all out on extravagant presents.

You have your own way of showing your friends that you love them without any grand, tacky gestures. You like to think that you’re a good friend, and you hope they think that too.

But… you feel guilty today. You feel guilty for even toying with the idea of not going just because you didn’t want to face Jungkook in a setting that wasn’t the studio. When Taehyung asked if you had gotten the invite and you couldn’t confirm your attendance right away, he looked at you like you were out of your mind. He looked at you like Why wasn’t dropping every single one of your plans not the first thought that comes to mind when you received the text. Because this is Jimin you’re talking about. One of your closest friends. The incredulousness on Taehyung’s face that night made you feel small because really, you were being selfish.

After the breakup, you repeatedly assured Taehyung that he should still be friends with Jungkook, though the petty part of your brain wanted nothing more than to have Taehyung cut off all ties with your ex and tell him to go shove it.

If you weren’t in the picture, they still would’ve bonded the way they did and developed that kind of brotherly connection. Just because you and Taehyung were closer doesn’t mean that he and Jungkook weren’t close. They were close throughout college, and it had nothing to do with the fact that one was your best friend and the other was your boyfriend. That’s why you weren’t particularly fond of making Taehyung lose someone he considered family, even if that man did stomp on your heart to hell and back.

You just had to make it crystal clear to Taehyung – and Jimin by extension – to not put you and Jungkook in the same place ever again.

And that’s exactly what Taehyung and Jimin have been doing these past few years. Birthday parties, nights out and celebratory dinners multiplied by two to keep you and Jungkook separate. It was like you were strangers who never knew each other existed. Different worlds that can’t ever collide. You all got used to this certain arrangement. It works out for everybody: You don’t have to see your ex, and Jimin and Taehyung get to keep their friend. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

The barrier that you forced between you and him worked, but sadly it did put a strain on Taehyung and Jimin’s wallets. You were always a group of five though, until Hoseok moved abroad the very week before college ended. He didn’t even attend graduation. That summer, you weren’t the only one left heartbroken. Hoseok’s parents had turned a 180 and decided to make him pursue another degree to take over the family business instead of continuing to let him follow his dreams, which have always been music and dancing. When he broke the news, you all gathered around and cried together. You were beyond upset for him; you knew how Hoseok shined the brightest when he got to do what he loved.

Since then, he only comes back a couple of times a year. Every time, you would all try and make the most of it, wanting to relive those college days that you cherished so much. But during each of these visits, there is always something bittersweet that you think you all could feel. Because Hoseok wasn’t a constant in your lives anymore. The five of you were thick as thieves. You were there for each other through every high and every low. It’s somber to think that you will never have that ever again.

Hoseok wasn’t there to personally witness what the breakup did to you, but you were certain that he knew about it. Taehyung and Jimin must have told him at some point. You don’t think you’ve ever had a proper conversation with Hoseok about how your relationship with Jungkook ended. He only visits as seldom as it is. You don’t want to spend every reunion wallowing in misery, or make everything about your baggage when everyone has their own shit to deal with.

“Shit, Y/N, why are you being sappy?” Jimin mutters as he blinks at you, eyes glassy, all shy and adorable when he sniffles. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

It isn’t until then that you notice Jungkook standing next to Jimin, having watched the whole interaction with an identical champagne glass in his hand and a small smile on his face.

“Hi,” he says, even though it has only been a couple of hours since you last saw each other. 

You send him a nod, merely to acknowledge his presence. Taehyung pulls Jimin into a hug of his own too, swaying him from side to side like they’re in their own little world. 

You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on the side of your face but you keep your eyes trained on Taehyung’s back, watching your two friends be dramatic and goofy and happy.

When you deem that they’ve had their fun, you tug Taehyung back by his jacket. “Okay, that’s enough, lovebirds. You’re acting like you don’t see each other every other day. Stop being so clingy.”

“No!” Jimin swats your hand away but lets his friend go regardless. He’s smiling so big that his eyes have turned into narrow slits, pearly whites on full display, cute pinchable cheeks turned rosy from the champagne and euphoria. “Do I look weird? I feel like I look weird. I can’t stop smiling.”

“You don’t look weird,” you say, booping his nose affectionately then ruffling his head of blond hair. “You look perfect.”

Jimin blushes, which makes him even cuter. Then his eyes light up when he spots someone behind you. His hand shoots up to wave the person over to your table as he calls, “Hobi hyung!”

Hobi– what?

You and Taehyung turn around, four eyes flying wide open.

Slapping a hand to Taehyung’s chest, you gasp. “Holy shit. Did you know about this?!”

“No! I’m as shocked as you are!”

Hoseok skips the pleasantries. He just grins brightly and yanks you and Taehyung into him, crushing you two in his hug as he shakes you enthusiastically. When he lets go, he kisses both of your cheeks. He diverts his attention to Jungkook then, yelling out Jaykay! so loudly that people turn to look. He does the same thing to Jungkook as he did to you, enveloping the younger man in a very Hoseok-esque embrace.

“Hobi!” you squeal, completely overjoyed. Taehyung looks about the same as you, the two of you practically bouncing like golden retrievers. “Why didn’t you tell us you were going to be here?”

Hoseok shares a look with Jimin, and they both break out into a fit of giggles. “Obviously I wasn’t going to miss tonight,” he says. “But I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. You should’ve surprised Jimin with me, not the other way around.”

“Wha– Jung Hoseok, you blocked me last month after I sent you that jumpscare video.”

“Oh, right,” he laughs. “In any case, it’s always so good to see all of you simp over me every time I come home.”

“Hobi, I implore you to stop saying ‘simp’ as a grown ass man.”

“Y/N, this grown ass man implores you to stop calling him Hobi.”

It isn’t until now that you start to relax more. Everything feels so much simpler now that Hoseok is here and all of you are together. Catching up with him, you’re always enraptured to hear the stories he has to tell. Even if it’s brief and the bubble has to eventually burst, he never fails to give you that odd sense of peace you’ve been craving since you got older. Hoseok has a way of making time stretch on forever, in a good way. 

At one point, he stops talking, noticing something out of place. “Oh? You two…” he gestures between you and Jungkook, and the conversation seems to end here because even Hoseok doesn’t know what to say or what to ask. Clearly Taehyung and Jimin haven’t been doing a very good job at keeping him up to date. Then things just start getting kinda awkward again.

You feel partly to blame. After all, you’re one of the two people making this weird for everybody.

For most of the night, you manage to avoid talking to Jungkook. It’s not that difficult really, with Taehyung practically gluing himself to your side (per your request) and catching up with Hoseok, Jungkook could hardly get a word in with you.

You pat Taehyung on the cheek. “Thanks for sticking with me,” you tell him.

“Of course,” he says. “And y’know, it’s not like you really gave me a choice.”

Your hand that’s still on his cheek goes to pinch it. His cheek is so squishy, it feels like you’re kneading dough. You can’t help but squeeze your fingers a little harder.

“Ah! Okay!” he squeaks out. “Sorry!”

You giggle at his frowny face before giving him another affectionate pat. “Seriously, can you imagine Jungkook seeing me drunk without you to hold me back? That’s one of my worst nightmares.”

Taehyung bites his tongue, remembering the night he had put Jimin on pick up duty and Jungkook had tagged along. Taehyung even recalls the morning after, when he was walking on eggshells around you, trying to figure out if your memory would serve you. When he was positive that it didn’t, he had to thank the heavens for letting him live to see another day.

Because if you ever find out, oh you would kill him. You would knock him to the ground and strangle him with your bare hands. He’s absolutely certain that you would. Knowingly letting your friend’s ex see her absolutely shitfaced and crying over said ex? Now that is heinous.

“Hold this,” Taehyung says now that it’s just the two of you, handing you his glass of whiskey. Hoseok got pulled somewhere so Jimin could introduce him to some of his staff, and Jungkook is… well, you have no idea where he is. “I have to pee.”

“What, now?”

“No, two hours from now. I’m just announcing it in advance,” Taehyung deadpans. “Yes, now!”

“I literally just thanked you.” You glare up at him. He starts to get sassy a couple of drinks in. “I’ll come with you.”

“What, to the men’s bathroom? Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I don’t even see Jungkook anywhere. He’s probably mingling. C’mon, I’ll be gone two minutes, tops, okay?”

“No, no, no, wait–!” Aaand he’s already jogging away. Great.

You sigh, take a sip of Taehyung’s drink and immediately grimace. You really don’t like whiskey. You find an empty table nearby to put the glass down and loiter. To anyone, you must look like you’ve got a bad case of social anxiety, standing alone and fidgeting like that, but no, what you have is Jungkook anxiety. 

As you keep your head down and pull out your phone to make it seem like you actually have something to do instead of waiting for your friend to return from the bathroom, your head bobs gently to the faint music coming from the speakers. Peace lasts for about thirty seconds. You turn to look when someone nudges your shoulder.

“You look beautiful,” Jungkook tells you with a smile that almost blinds you. You have to admit, he’s so handsome tonight, and it’s part of why you’ve been avoiding looking at him since you got here.

You glance down at your outfit. You tend to dress more casually at the studio, but today, you wanted to up the ante a little bit for Jimin. It’s nothing fancy, just a smidge more put-together than what you usually go for. Knee-high boots, a black skirt, a cozy sweater and your favorite winter coat. Actually put on some blush for once  to top it all off.

“I’ve looked like this since the morning.”

“I know,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to say it all day.”

It’s the compliment, the sparkling eyes and the soft, warm smile making your face heat up. You bite the inside of your cheek, urging yourself to snap out of it.

The strategy is to deflect. You practically shove your phone in his face with the Gmail app open, making him squint in reflex at the sudden brightness assaulting his eyes. “So Namjoon just sent me this–”

Jungkook takes a step back and brushes your hand away. “Honestly, if it’s fine with you, can we not talk about work?” he chuckles as he says this. “I just got out of the studio. I’d rather not think about it for a minute.”

So it would appear that deflecting is not a viable option.

“Oh, okay.” You nod slowly, putting your phone back into your bag. You are so awkward, and too sober for this, and desperately need your Taehyung-shaped buffer. “Uhm, so… what now?”

Jungkook gives you a quiet chuckle, trying to go over this as nonchalantly as possible. “Friends can talk about things. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Your brows furrow slightly as you recall what you told Seokjin before. Friends… Jungkook still doesn’t seem to know the definition of the word. Does he think you meant it? That you were actually friends now? He can’t be that fucking dense, can he? When he came knocking at your door not that long ago, has he forgotten that look in your eyes and the door closing in his face when he uttered this exact word to you?

From the start, Jungkook was never your friend.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to do this at the studio and I didn’t want to do it here, today, Jimin’s big day, but I have to ask. What are you doing?”

He blinks, seemingly confused, and it prompts you to continue.

“What is this? What am I supposed to talk about with you if it’s not work?” you say slowly. “You know I was just saying that to not make things awkward for Seokjin and Namjoon, right?” Too slowly, like he’s stupid and you need to enunciate every syllable. You can’t help it.

Jungkook puts his champagne glass on the table. He looks a little lost, and it’s clear that this is a turn that neither of you expected. See, you think, wishing Taehyung would come back right this second to witness this, This is why I need to drink.

“What happened? I thought we were doing fine.”

He took the words right out your mouth, only a few years too late.

Is he serious? He really is that dense?

Your mouth falls open, trying to gauge if you are actually on the same topic, or if you’re even speaking the same language. It can’t be more painfully obvious that you two have been living completely different realities.

“You happened,” you snap, amazed by the fact that you even have to tell him.

You stop short of saying: Fuck you. You unraveled my life like a hurricane and now I have to be the one to remind you of it? You wanted nothing to do with me the last five years and now you’re trying to get me all to yourself?

You can’t help the next question that slips out either. Blame the small part of you that’s been dying to know this since you found out the news from Namjoon. “Why would you think that we’d be fine? Who do you think I am to you?”

Jungkook’s lips part but he doesn’t say anything for nearly half a minute. His face falls just a tad, and you don’t really know what to make of that. His eyes glimmer under the lights. With what, you can’t know for certain. It must be shame. Is it possible that there’s guilt swimming in those irises? Underneath the surface of those brown eyes, is it too much to ask that there be some regret too?

You think the question nicked him somewhere you can’t see. Call it wishful thinking, but you hope it’s the same place that he has always cut into you.

Bleed. Bleed like you made me bleed.

Finally, he says, “You’re…”

Then, Jimin practically shouts into a mic that he has procured somewhere. Wonderful timing, blondie.

“Can everyone gather at the front for a group photo please? I’m going to hang it on the wall!”

You don’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful for the interruption. That void that you used to fill with anger and resentment is now bubbling with something else. No matter how hard you try to swallow it all down, you know it won’t stop until you overflow, until you’re swallowed whole by that grief again. You feel foolish. Cheap. Hard to love, hard to keep. He meant the world to you but to him, turns out you were merely replaceable.

You turn away from Jungkook in favor of another chaos. In the midst of the grand Park family – Jimin’s many cousins, bubbly nieces and nephews who all want to be in the center of the photo – you get pushed to the side. There’s too many people here. It’ll probably end up looking like one of those company pictures where at least half the people have their eyes closed and the other half look like they can’t wait to get out of there. You don’t know where Taehyung is, if he’s even back from the bathroom. You’re so tired. So drained, all of a sudden. You miss your bed and your comfy pillows and your warm fluffy blanket. You want to sink into it and melt like a piece of marshmallow on hot chocolate.

You stand there awkwardly on the very edge, aware of Jungkook loitering a couple of steps from you as you both wait for people to make up their mind on where to stand. You can tell that the photographer is getting frustrated when he finally steps in to guide the older people when they start looking like buffering Sims. You don’t even know where Jimin and Hoseok are either.

“Okay, is everyone ready?” the photographer asks, his voice unamused as he raises the camera to look through the viewfinder. He doesn’t even wait for any confirmation and just starts counting down. No doubt about it, Jimin is definitely underpaying this guy. “Three, two, o– Wait. You on the left. No, my left. Yes, you, guy in the black coat. Could you stand closer? You’re almost out of the frame.”

Jungkook – “guy in the black coat” – shuffles closer until you can smell his familiar cologne over the overwhelming floral scent radiating off the woman next to you. He moves until the photographer gives his nod of approval, until your arms touch. It makes you nervous, even through the layers of clothes. What was he going to say? What did you want him to say? What could be a good enough answer?

You all smile as the camera clicks a few times. You might’ve had your eyes closed in one of the shots. Seriously, you have to make Jimin show you the picture before he commemorates his wall with it. If you have to be immortalized on a wall next to your ex, then at least you should look good.

Everybody disperses after that; some going to bid Jimin goodbye as they end the night and go home, some returning to their previously established groups to chat some more. You feel like now is probably a good time to leave.

You move to go find Taehyung, but someone stops you. A warm hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back. You glance at where Jungkook’s skin touches yours, then your eyes flicker up to meet his. They don’t let you move, and neither do the words he says next. His face is softer than you’ve witnessed in a while. No teasing, no bravado. Just honesty.

“You’re someone important to me.”

Oof. Two strikes in one night.

It makes you angry for some reason – his honesty. Because it really looks like he believes it to be true.

This is the last thing you wanted, fighting when you’re supposed to be celebrating Jimin, but you suppose it’s happening. “I can’t tell if you mean it or if you’re just playing with me,” you say.

Jungkook pales a shade as you stare at him with hard eyes.

“I do mean it,” he says. He looks down at your hand, his fingers on your wrist twitching. 

“If that were really the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” you tell him. “If I were really important to you, you wouldn’t have screwed me over like that. If I were really important, you wouldn’t be here right now, acting like I’m something you can throw away whenever you feel like it, and pick back up like nothing ever happened. You know, I was starting to be okay. I was starting to get used to it and you just had to come waltzing back into my life. Do you know how important this is to me? That this is my dream I get to live but I’m just trying to survive it and never have to see you again? Why can’t you just– Fuck.”

You choke on the last of it, knowing that if you keep going, you will cry, and your pride won’t let you break down in front of your friends and strangers alike. In front of Jungkook. You count each breath in your head to steady yourself until your lungs feel less like they’re going to burn out of oxygen. 

You’re surprised that you were able to say that without much liquid courage. You’re glad that you’re standing near the corner of the room where nobody is really paying attention to you. Jungkook lets go of your wrist, visibly gulping as he does so. It feels like there’s an entire orchestra in here – people talking, music playing, all echoing around the room – and you suppose you’re thankful for that. He can’t hear your heart screaming over the noises. If you weren’t sure if he was feeling ashamed before, then you’re sure now. He should be ashamed, for everything he put you through. If you could, you would give it back to him ten times worse.

Quietly, Jungkook says, “I’m sorry,” and then nothing else.

You swear you can hear a clock go tick, tock, tick, tock… The passage of time is so palpable, like something you can hold in your hands. Minutes upon minutes, hours upon hours, days upon days - they sit in the palm of your hands but amount to nothing at all. They slip through your fingers again. Nothing is guaranteed, you realize belatedly then, certainly not closure. You’re never going to get it right. He’s always going to blindside you.

And no matter how hard you try to keep him at bay, he’s always going to get under your skin.

Stop slipping. Stop slipping. Stop slipping.

“Huh,” you mutter to yourself, bitterly, confusedly, amusedly, “I thought that would feel better.”

“What?” he asks.

“Hearing you say sorry. Did you know that you never said sorry to me?”

“It’s not– I–” he stutters. How could he possibly object to that? It’s the truth. It’s the absolute and pathetic truth. He leaves the sentence unfinished like the history of the two of you, half written until he decided that he was done with it. Time would not tell the rest, and all you were left with were blank pages that no one could fill. “I’m sorry,” he ends up saying again, as if repeating it would make the words have more gravity. If that is his intention then you suppose he succeeds, because it makes your heart heavier.

“I’m trying to do right by you.”

You consider it for a second. When you turn away, you find Taehyung across the room, already looking at you, though you don’t think he can hear anything from where he’s standing. Your friend has ‘worried’ written all over his face.

“Are you trying to do right by me? Or by you?” you ask, and then something starts to sink in. You spent so much time thinking about it, wondering where everything went wrong. Going around in circles, dwelling, trying to put together puzzle pieces that just won’t fit. That’s time that you can never get back. You’ve always known that at some point, you would have to let it all go. Maybe now is that point. Let go of things that you have no control over. You’re only burning yourself by holding on. Isn’t it better to let it scar than to keep picking at the wound and making it bleed? “Actually, it doesn’t even matter anymore. What’s the point? I’ve come to terms with it. You can do whatever you want to feel better. Just do it by yourself. Don’t use me.”

Jungkook frowns. “I’m not using you.”

You manage to suppress the urge to scoff. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Thinking you could come back and sweet talk me and then you’d be absolved just like that?”

“I know you must hate me,” he says. “...for everything.”

“I do.” No fucking shit. “If you know that, then why are you doing this?” Don’t push it, your brain says, but the way he’s staring at the ground, unable to meet your eyes, looking like a puppy you just kicked makes you annoyed. “Did you know that the first time I ever saw you, I hated you?” you ask, making his eyes flit up to yours. “I wish we could’ve left it at that.”

When his face flashes with hurt, you almost feel bad even though you wished for this. His jaw clenches as you walk away, leaving him there by himself.

“Wanna head home?” Taehyung asks before you have to even say anything. He regards you with soft and apologetic eyes, with a gentle hand on your arm and concern still etched onto his features. Taehyung is a warm summer’s breeze compared to the desolate winter that Jungkook has made of you. You answer with a simple nod.

“Wait for me by the car. I’ll say bye to Jimin and be right out,” Taehyung tells you.

“Okay.”

He puts an arm around your shoulder and squeezes you once. “Sorry about that by the way… There was a line for the bathroom.”

Monday comes too soon.

You have to face Jungkook again too soon.

“Unclench your butt.”

You snap your head to the sound of Yoongi’s voice right next to your ear. His tone is teasing, and his face even more so. The man’s got way too much energy for 9 in the morning.

“Excuse me?” you grumble. You’ve been standing outside the studio for almost ten minutes now, letting your nerves eat away at you because you know Jungkook is already here. You saw his car earlier. 

“Your butt,” your friend says. “It’s too clenched.”

“You were looking at my butt?” You give him a disapproving look.

“Only because you look like you’re trying to hold in a shit.” Yoongi shrugs indifferently. “Why are you standing out here anyway?”

Your fingers twitch around the strap of your bag as you try to give him a nonchalant answer. “Trying to manifest the death of capitalism before you interrupted me.”

“Mhmm,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously like a distrusting cat. “Spill. What happened?”

“What happened with what?”

“I know you went to your friend’s thing on Friday. And I know Jungkook was there too. So what happened?”

You debate whether or not you should tell Yoongi. It’s not like you have anything to hide; he already knows about your history anyway. But he’s been the most insufferable toward Jungkook in the short time that he’s been here, and giving him the goss on your little conversation the other day would only give him another reason to be an even bigger menace. You bite your tongue, and put on the most neutral expression you can manage.

“Nothing happened,” you say. “You’re being nosy, Min.”

You push open the door to be greeted by an incredibly cheerful Seokjin and Namjoon. Why is everyone so bubbly on a Monday morning? Have they always been like this, or do you just feel like everything coming out of their mouths is sunshine and rainbows compared to the black cloud hovering over your head?

Seems like you aren’t the only one dreading the new week though. Jungkook visibly stiffens as you enter, completely devoid of that easy-going smile he always greets you with. “Hey,” he tells you.

“Morning,” you reply. To him, to Seokjin, to Namjoon. You take a seat at your usual corner, setting down your bag and pulling out your pen and notebook. 

Seokjin launches into conversation with Yoongi about a basketball game. Apparently there was one last night, but you don’t really care about that. Namjoon doesn’t seem to have much interest in the topic either, choosing to weigh in with an occasional hum here and there to be polite.

Like you, Jungkook is quiet. He knows enough about basketball to hold a conversation but you know it’s never been his favorite thing in the world. Normally though, even if he isn’t particularly knowledgeable in the matter at hand, he would still act like he’s genuinely absorbed in whatever everyone was talking about, just to be friendly and sociable. He was always very good at networking; that’s why people loved him in college. From what you’ve seen, that trait carried over into adulthood as well. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Jungkook fidget in his chair. He turns his head every once in a while to glance at you, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you, nor Yoongi for that matter. Yoongi nudges your knee with his own, prompting a curious look from you. He leans closer to your ear and lowers his voice so that nobody can hear.

“Jungkook looks like his butt is pretty clenched too.”

Your grip on the pen loosens as you swirl it around absentmindedly, humming to yourself the melody off the page as if it’ll summon words to the sheet, where it’s mostly blank beneath all the squiggly music notes. The men – with the exception of Namjoon; he’s out for the day – gather around, discussing the first demo track. You drown most of it out. Your job here isn’t to wring out the kinks with the technical aspects anyway.

“We could record something for the rough demo today,” Yoongi thinks out loud.

“Today?” Jungkook asks as he arches an eyebrow. “For what track? We don’t have a single thing completely finished yet?”

“Buddy, are you a glass half empty kind of guy?” Yoongi jokes. “From what I see, we have at least four tracks halfway done. That’s enough for us to record.”

The younger man leans back in his chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest, highly annoyed but he still tries to keep a straight face and an even voice. It’s his first big project, and this fucking person is coming in and stepping all over his toes. To Jungkook, Yoongi is just some guy. He has never understood what the hype was about with Agust D, why he has always been a massive media darling and why everybody seems so enamored with him. Seokjin talks about him like Jungkook should feel so privileged to have the opportunity to work with such talent. Namjoon, his own freaking mentor, practically idolizes Yoongi. He almost passed out from glee when he heard that Yoongi would be coming on board. Even when the label was trying to get the rapper to sign with them, Jungkook never got what all the fuss was about.

It’s almost frustrating to watch people around him fawn over Yoongi like he hangs the moon in the sky. If you feel the same way about him, you don’t let it show, but Jungkook can tell that you admire and respect the guy a lot. He just can’t figure out what the deal is between you and Yoongi. Something is there. If not from your side then definitely from Yoongi’s. He seems too protective of you. Taehyung is the same way, and so are Jimin and Hoseok, but with them, Jungkook understands. They’ve been friends with you since forever, and he can’t imagine that your friendship with Yoongi can ever be that special.

“I disagree,” Jungkook asserts. “It’s a waste of time to make a demo now when we’d have to do it all over again later. At this point, all we’ll get is scraps. It wouldn’t help us get anywhere.”

Yoongi glances at Seokjin, who’s been watching but not really contributing, and they both share a look. It makes Jungkook want to get more fired up because he is supposed to be in charge here, but Yoongi is clearly more in tune with what Seokjin wants and how he operates. Jungkook will be the first one to say that he is not the best team player, but at least he tries. It usually works out just fine in the end, once he can get his ego out of the way to actually get something done, but this time it’s proving to be quite the challenge when it seems like Yoongi is constantly trying to hinder him.

“Jungkook, look.” Even the way he says his name is irritating. “I’ve been doing this way longer than you have, buddy. I was a producer before I became a rapper. I think I know what I’m doing here.”

“And I see why you would think this is a good idea, but I’m saying it’s a waste of time and effort to do this when we’ll just have to redo the whole process later. You want a summer release. We don’t have the time, and do we even have enough budget–”

Yoongi tilts his head to one side with an amused smile. “Are you sure this is the right business for you? Should you be in risk assessment instead? Why are you here worrying about budgets and timing? That’s the whole point of doing preliminary demos, to help you see what direction to take and guide the creative process–”

“Okay, okay. Retract the claws, fellas,” Seokjin jumps in this time. “I’m with Yoongi on this one, JK. Take it easy, man.”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and nods begrudgingly. He makes it seem like he’s taking it in stride, tucking his chagrin behind a mask of indifference. Yoongi shrugs with a triumphant grin, clasping his hands together as he gestures both Seokjin and Jungkook to the soundbooth.

“What?” The younger man stares at the other two. “You want me in there too?”

“Yeah, just to test some stuff out. You have a nice voice,” Yoongi admits, and even though he’s being genuine for once, Jungkook still feels like it’s condescending somehow. Anything that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth is patronizing to him. “Couldn’t hurt to see how it would sound like with Jin hyung. Maybe we could even use it later.”

You’ve been trying to keep your head down and shut out all the sounds. Sounds of Jungkook fucking singing. Why did Min Yoongi have to force him into the box?

Back then, you used to tell him that he’s good enough to be a singer. He’d sing you to sleep whenever you were plagued with insomnia, or when you were sick, or just whenever you wanted him to. His voice always soothed you, made you feel warm all over. 

As if ignoring him today wasn’t difficult enough already.

“You’re bleeding.” You hear someone say a while later. 

Your head snaps up to see what’s going on. Somebody’s bleeding? How did that happen? But Seokjin and Jungkook are still in the booth, both looking at the paper that Jungkook is holding, talking to each other about something you can’t catch. You scan the room, brows furrowed, until you see Yoongi looking at you.

“Huh?” He points toward your hands. “You’re bleeding.”

Your eyes follow his line of sight until they land on what he’s staring at. You put the pen on the table and flex your hands. He’s exaggerating, they aren’t bleeding. Well, technically, they are if you count the reddened patches of cracked skin between your knuckles as bleeding. Your hands are just dry because the weather is cold. It happens. Dramatic Yoongi.

You wave him off with a smile. “Eh. It’s fine. I’ll put some lotion on it when I get home,” you lie. You don’t even have any hand cream. You’ve only tried using a dollop of body lotion on your hands once, but you didn’t like how your skin just felt so sticky afterward that it would leave visible prints when you touched your phone screen.

Yoongi shakes his head lightly. “No, you won’t. I’ve noticed that for a few days now.”

You level him with a look. “What are you, the hand police? It’s just dry hands. I’m not gonna die from that.”

“No, you‘re not,” Yoongi agrees, but regardless, he stands up and walks to retrieve his bag from where he left it on the couch. You watch with curiosity as he rummages through it until he pulls out a white tube of something. He crosses the distance to get to where you’re sitting and settles into the chair next to you. He reaches for your hands then, and says, “But do it for my sake. I don’t wanna look at your ugly witch's hands all day.”

“Yoongi!” you hiss, instantly scowling and failing to push him off when his stronger hand grasps one of your own. He pops open the tube and squeezes some of the cream onto your skin. “What are you doing?!”

“Hold still,” he says because you keep squirming. When the sheer weight of your glare on his face makes him look up at you, Yoongi actually glares back at you. Gasp. “Hold still,” he repeats firmly. 

You huff out a breath in annoyance. You glance at the booth to see if the guys are looking, but Seokjin still appears to be focused on the music sheet. You see and faintly hear him humming, his fingers tapping the air like he’s counting the beats. Jungkook, though… Jungkook is looking.

In the few seconds that your eyes meet his, you can tell that he’s trying to understand whatever the hell he’s watching here. You feel your cheeks heat up and you don’t really know if it’s because of Jungkook’s hard gaze on you or the feeling of Yoongi’s hands on your hands. You quickly turn away, missing the way the man in the booth pokes his tongue into a cheek.

You try to kick Yoongi in the shin but he manages to block your foot with his knee. He tuts at you disapprovingly. You watch him with a petulant frown as he rubs the cream into the back of your hand, between your knuckles, over each of your fingers. It feels expensive, though you would expect nothing less from Min Yoongi. The cream soaks into your skin right away, unlike that body lotion of yours that was obviously not made for this purpose. 

“You’re so overreacting over nothing,” you tell him.

“No, I’m not. Y/N, your hands were starting to look like coconut shavings,” he says casually, still focused on being your self-appointed hand masseuse it seems. “Is he looking?”

“What?”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi clarifies, his eyes darting up to your face for a brief second. “Is he looking?”

You exhale through your nose. “He was,” you say flatly, quite displeased with his shenanigans. “Yoongi, I told you not to do shit like this.”

His movements gradually slow. You don’t think there’s any more product on the surface left to absorb anyway. “I’m not doing this because of Jungkook, I promise,” he says, not pulling away just yet, letting his skin linger on yours. His head is still tilted downward, his gaze seemingly glued to where his thumb is swiping over your fingers. Jungkook used to do this too - absentmindedly playing with your fingers. It’s cute, and you hate to admit that the little things like this make you feel warm. You clench your jaw just once. Maybe it’s a guy’s thing.

For a moment, you actually think that he’s being sincere. About what, you don’t know. Then Yoongi looks up at you, eyes crinkling as he grins. “But pissing him off is definitely a huge plus.”

“You’re insufferable,” you tell Yoongi, rolling your eyes and shoving him away with your now moisturized hands. You gotta be honest, they do look and feel a lot better. Maybe you should pick some lotion up after work. You won’t tell Yoongi this, but you tried the exact one he just used on you a while back, in a store, and it smelled so good that you thought about it for two whole weeks. But when you saw the price tag, you immediately recoiled. It was one of the brands wherein the products were more expensive than the city’s median rent, so no wonder Yoongi would be the one to have something of theirs. Different tax brackets, you think.

Yoongi stumbles a little from your push. When he stands up, he takes one of your hands again, opening your palm and placing the tube there. “Use it every night before bed,” he instructs, like he’s a pharmacist and you’re just someone waiting to pick up their prescription.

“What?” You look at him, so serious and kind of offended. “Yoongi, I am not using your old shit!”

He sighs, wrapping your fingers around the tube so you would hold it there. “I don’t even use hand cream. I got that for you yesterday.”

Jungkook is so done. It’s been such a long week and it’s only the first day of the fucking week. After feeling so utterly helpless around you, losing to Yoongi and then watching Yoongi have his little moment with you right in front of him, Jungkook fully intends to drive straight to Jimin’s and raid his liquor cabinet until he gets a grip and figures out what to do on the you front. Especially since you called him out like that.

Jungkook hasn’t been able to focus in over an hour, after you left to go home, but he’s still cognizant enough to save the bits that he and Seokjin recorded earlier. He has witnessed how pissed Namjoon can get when they lose files due to carelessness, and no matter how level-headed his mentor usually is even in the most stressful of situations, Jungkook absolutely does not want to be on the receiving end of Namjoon’s scoldings when the man lets anger get the best of him.

Jungkook glances at the corner that you usually occupy with your nose buried in your notebook. It’s so empty in here; everyone else has already left. He sits there, heavy with so many realizations all at once. It feels like college all over, only this time, he isn’t just a stupid kid with a crush and a weird way of showing affection. He’s hurting you again. No matter what he does, he just keeps making it worse for you and him.

You were right, and it must’ve taken a lot for you to say what you said to him. It was crazy, and foolish, and most of all cruel for Jungkook to think he could patch things up with a smile. He knew how devastated he left you. Didn’t need to see the mess he made to know how much it fucked you up. Didn’t need anyone to tell him – even though his friends all tried – to know how unbelievably heartless it was to abandon the person who loved him the most. But back then, he believed he was doing the right thing. That’s how he coped with it, by trusting that it was the best decision he could make at the time. 

He still remembers that day like it was merely 24 hours ago.

The obliviousness in your voice when he told you he was coming over to talk and you said you had exciting news to share. The way he had cried in the car on his way over, pulled himself together just long enough to say “I’m breaking up with you,” and watched your eager smile drop. He could practically feel your heart in his open palm, crumbling to nothing as he gave it back to you. Like he was saying “I don’t want it anymore.” He remembers crying again on the drive after.

Everything is different now, but if he could go back, even with the knowledge of the fallout, he would still choose to do the same.

There was no point in telling Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, or just about anyone, why he felt like he had to do it. They would’ve just called him stupid and told you. He’s sure that if you knew then, you would try to reason with him, maybe you would even beg. And if you had begged him to stay, then there was no way he could follow through.

Jungkook locks up the studio and leaves. When he passes Jihyo at the reception, he hears her call his name but he pretends that he doesn’t. He’s too tired for this tonight. He just wants a drink, and he just wants to see you even though you were with him all day. 

Skipping the parking lot for now, Jungkook walks to the nearby store, wanting to bring something over to Jimin’s or else the older man will just grumble at him for coming empty handed. When he rounds the corner, he sees you walking by yourself in the small park across the street. Your hands are shoved in your pockets while you stare up at the starless night. Jungkook thinks you should belong in a painting.

He stands there curiously. If you looked straight ahead, you would see him. But you seem preoccupied with the clouds floating through the dark blue, too lost in thought to notice much. Your hand comes up when something lands on your face. A second later, Jungkook feels something wet and cold against his cheek too. He remembers.

He pulls out his phone, fiddles with it for a minute as he contemplates, and ultimately decides to tap on your name in his contacts. Pressing the device against his ear, he listens to it ring, and watches you fish your own phone from your bag. He takes note of the furrow between your brows, the fleeting clench of your teeth. He almost thinks you wouldn’t pick up, but you do.

“Hello?” you answer uncertainly. 

“Hey,” Jungkook says, “where are you?”

“Uhm…” There’s a pause. He wonders if you would lie. “Just out getting some air. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just… in front of you right now.”

Confusion overtakes your features. When your gaze crosses the street to land on him, you let out a small Oh, and give him a small awkward wave. He ends the call and rushes over, even though he doesn’t know what to say to you. He watches you wince, because you always hated whenever he jaywalked. It makes him smile a little.

“Hi,” you say as Jungkook stands in front of you.

“Hi,” he returns. “Mind if I join you?”

You stare up at him for a few seconds before deciding, “Yeah, sure.”

“What are you still doing here? You left like two hours ago,” he says. You walk together further into the park, where lonely lamp posts dimly light your path.

You shrug. “I went to get dinner and just… I don’t know. Felt like I could use some fresh air.”

“In this weather? It’s snowing.”

You both watch the breath that you huff out. “Well, it didn’t start snowing until you got here.”

The first snow, or just snow in general, is never as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. Sure it’s pretty, and when the ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow, it makes for a good Instagram story. But in reality? Snow is so fucking dirty, and when it starts melting, it is absolute hell for everybody. Your weather app didn’t say that it would snow today, but you should’ve known better than to trust that damn thing.

Jungkook hums, and silence falls over you like the snow, making everything so damp and gross. You hope it stops soon.

When some snowflakes land directly on your cheek, you wipe the moisture away with mild annoyance. “I hate snow,” you grumble, pulling your scarf tighter. If you had known that it would snow, you would’ve worn something with a hood and your sturdier boots.

Jungkook chuckles lightly as he watches you hiss when some snowflakes land on your head, startling your skin with its frost and slowly dampening your hair. “You don’t hate it,” he says. “You just hate it when you’re walking in the snow. I know you.”

The universe doesn’t give you time to dwell on that last comment. The ground beneath you turns slippery as you keep walking. You yelp loudly when your sneaker-clad feet skid on the thin ice sheet that the snow has created. You’re fully prepared for your ass to hit the pavement and consequently bruise in about half an hour, but Jungkook catches you with both hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him so you don’t hit the ground. Unlike you, his shoes have more traction.

Your heart hammers from the suddenness of the last thirty seconds. You can see each heavy breath that leaves your mouth and promptly dissipates into the cold air. You don’t realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders to help steady yourself, as if he doesn’t already have his arms wrapped securely around you, and you realize then that wow, this is the closest he’s been to you in years. It’s unbearable just how much you’ve missed being in his arms.

Just two people on an empty street, tangled up in each other, the falling snow your only audience – you look like you’ve landed yourself right in a romance drama, but in reality, this is anything but that.

You clear your throat and shuffle backward, out of his strong hold, careful not to trip and make a fool of yourself any more than you already have. “Thanks,” you say. “I should head home. It’s getting late.”

Jungkook nods. “Do you want to walk back to the company? I can give you a ride home.”

You consider this. The street is steadily being swallowed up by layers of white, and you don’t doubt that it will only be more difficult to navigate the road by yourself as the night gets darker and colder. Cabs are running more sparsely. It would take you forever to get home, especially in weather that makes you feel like a calf learning to walk for the first time.

“Yeah,” you agree, “sure, okay.”

The walk back to the building’s parking lot is mostly silent, and so is the ride to your apartment. You’ve never felt the first snow on your skin before, having always preferred to stay indoors on nights forecasted to experience snowfall. There’s something so wistful about witnessing the inauguration of winter yourself, how these delicate flowers of ice not only herald the ending of a season and the beginning of a new one, but also signal that another chapter of your life is about to close forever. It prompts you to mull over the last 12 months, to see if you’ve accomplished anything you set out to achieve or if you’ve wasted an entire year of your life. To share a moment like this with Jungkook makes you wonder if the universe is trying to send you a sign.

When the car stops at a red light a few blocks away from your place, you take the time to watch the snowflakes twirling outside the window. They wander in front of you, free yet aimless, like they’re asking if they could come in and seek refuge from the freezing cold. Not knowing warmth would be the thing that kills them. Adrift with the gentle wind until they land on the glass, only to die a mere second later. You break the silence.

“It’s kinda nice now,” you say, eyeing the marshmallow-looking ice that’s starting to pile up all around while you’re sheltered by the warmth of his car.

“See?” Jungkook chuckles. “Told you you only hate snow when you have to walk in it.”

“Hmm.” It’s true. You don’t want to admit it, but he did know you. Knew what drove you and what made you tick. Knew how your brain worked and how your heart moved. Knew that you loved him long before you could say it out loud.

Even when you lied that he doesn’t know you anymore, deep down you’re very well aware that he still does. 

“Can I ask you this one thing, though?” you say calmly, but something must alert him that you aren’t looking to talk about the weather or some other meaningless shit. Jungkook doesn’t give you a verbal answer, nor any other indication that you can go ahead and voice your question. He just looks at you before the light turns green, like he doesn’t really want you to ask anything but he has no other choice but to let you. Like he’s scared of what you might demand from him.

It’s okay. You weren’t asking for permission anyway.

“Did I…” love you enough? Was there a single moment where you thought I didn’t love you? “Back then,” you swallow, keeping your eyes on the snowy streets that turn into ivory blurs as the car starts moving again, “did I ever make you feel like you weren’t enough?”

Your ears don’t pick up on much sound in the infinite pocket of seconds that follows. Not the low hum of the car’s radiator, nor the wind that becomes harsher right outside the window. Just his breathing and the beat of your own heart, drowning in the anticipation of his answer.

What if he says yes? Would it mean that after all this time that you spent blaming him, it’s been your fault all along? Were you the one that drove him away?

“No,” he says, interrupting that voice in your head. “Not once.”

You don’t doubt that he’s telling you the truth, but it doesn’t make you feel better. His tone tells you there’s more than he’s letting on, but it doesn’t matter now. Before Friday night, Taehyung had asked if you would ask Jungkook the question, and after some consideration, you had said no. Maybe if it were a couple of years ago, or even a few months back when you saw him again, you would have said yes. You used to think that if he ever came back for whatever reason, the first thing you would ask him is why. You would confront him, demand an answer, make him walk you through every single thought he had before he decided to ruin your life.

But no answer could change the fact that he did leave. There is no excuse good enough to justify how he left you so completely crushed. Sure, knowing would give you some of the closure that you were desperately seeking at one point, but what if it makes everything worse? What if he left because he was looking for something, something more than you could give? What if he found it, only to realize then that it wasn’t worth leaving you for after all?

Now, at least you know that your efforts were felt. You did the best you could, loved him the best way you knew how. 

The man beside you clears his throat. You only notice now that Jungkook has already pulled up in front of your building. You haven’t spoken much before tonight, not about what happened at Jimin’s party. You weren’t sure how to bring it up, or if you should even bring it up. He seemed like he was trying to avoid the topic too. You had the weekend to relive every moment of that night over and over, and you obviously don’t want to talk about it, but you have to address it sooner or later if you want to move forward in peace. 

“Hey, uhm, about the other night…” you start.

He stiffens a bit, and then sighs. “I know,” he says. “You were right. It’s not fair of me to–”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off firmly. “Some of the things I said were harsh, and I’m sorry.”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. His ears must deceive him, because, “Why are you apologizing?”

“I told you. I was harsh and it was uncalled for.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says, frowning. He twists his body to face you. “I deserved it. You were right to call me out. Don’t backtrack.”

You stare at him with your lips pursed. “Why are you trying to argue right now?”

“Because I deserve your rage. Be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you,” you tell him but there’s no bite. You’re softening, loosening your grip while he’s the only one trying to hold on. “But I don’t want to be anymore.”

“Why not? You should. You have every right.”

“Jungkook, it’s been five years,” you chuckle without much humor, thinking back to what you’ve been doing in the last half a decade. Stalking your ex online, mourning your lost love every time he gets into a new relationship, holding out hope. And for what? What’s the point of it all? It’s not like you and him are going to get back together again. It’s a waste of time, time that you could spend trying to let him go and move on, whether he gives you that closure or not. “I’m tired and I just want to get on with my life. I don’t want to keep being bitter about it. What good will that do?”

His face is so serious all of a sudden, like he wants you to actually scream at him. Curse him out. Anything. “Then what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t feel like you have to make amends, or do anything right by me. Can we just, I don’t know, let the past remain in the past? I don’t want to make our friends feel like they have to act a certain way around me when it comes to you. It’s my problem, not theirs. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable anymore. So please, I’m not asking for anything else. I just want us all to… move forward.”

It’s then that he sees, oh, maybe you do belong in a painting. Sitting right in front of him but you’re so far away. He was once the artist but now, he’s merely a spectator.  “Do you mean that?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, Jungkook. I’m really tired,” you say. “Why would you of all people want to be reminded of what happened?”

He swallows thickly. You can tell that he isn’t too fond of the idea, even if what you’re proposing gives him a way out. It lets him off the hook. But for some reason, he’s hesitant to take it, might be resisting it even. You can’t bring yourself to understand why, but eventually, he says, “Okay. If that’s what you really want.”

He doesn’t put up much of a fight, though it doesn’t exactly sound like an affirmation, but who even cares?

“Right, then,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt and gripping the strap of your bag. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

He says it back, and lets you go with a strained smile.

Yoongi’s fingers tap on his knees to the beat of the music playing in the background. You were surprised when he called you on a Saturday, asking if you were free, telling you that he had something to say. You didn’t have any plans and Yoongi said he was treating you, and well, you don’t need to be convinced further.

Here you are, in a fancy restaurant, sharing a tiramisu with Min Yoongi. How nice. You thought he’d have better plans than just hanging out with little old you.

“Will you please just tell me now?” you say, looking at him with playful puppy dog eyes. You take another bite of the dessert, and practically have to stifle a moan when the sweetness melts in your mouth. You honestly think you have romantic feelings for this tiramisu. “I’ve been waiting for like two hours.” 

Yoongi swirls the wine in his glass before he brings it to his lips and takes a sip, all the while looking at you, so happy with the treat that you’re supposed to share but he doesn’t even touch. When he sets his glass down, he calls your name, making you glance up. 

“Do you still… y’know… Jungkook?”

You stare at him back, confused. “Do I still I know Jungkook?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out. You’ll just beat me if I say it.”

“Oh, so it’s something annoying then? Then please, keep it to yourself.”

“Okay, then,” he says, smiling so obnoxiously because he knows you’re too curious.

Give it a minute.

“Oh my god, fine,” you give up, drawing out the sentence exasperatedly. “Do I still what Jungkook?”

Yoongi regards your face teasingly. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

Your entire body goes rigid. You don’t even try to hide the way your face falls upon hearing his question. What’s the point? He’ll just see right through you anyway.

“You took me out to dinner just to ask me that?”

He nods. “Yeah, among other things.”

“I mean…” You set down your spoon. No one has ever asked you that before, and it’s not a question that you yourself have considered. Jungkook still affects you, that much is clear. Thinking about your relationship still affects you. Does that mean that you have lingering feelings for him? You’ve yet to solve this, and truth be told, you aren’t sure if you would like the conclusion it leads you to. You give Yoongi a vague answer, because even you yourself don’t know what the truth is. But it doesn’t matter, now that you’ve made the active decision to let it all go. “I’m trying to move on.”

“Hmm.” He doesn’t seem very satisfied with your choice of words. “Do you still hate him then?”

This, you don’t really need to ruminate much on. “I think part of me will always hate him for what he did.” And part of you will always love him in spite of what he did.

Yoongi leans forward with both of his arms on the table, contemplating how he should word this. You deserve flowery words and romantic grand gestures, but alas Yoongi is blunt, and sometimes rough around the edges. He has great timing too. Just as you raise a glass of water to your mouth to soothe your dry throat, he says, “Let me be your revenge dick.”

It makes you choke, sending water down every wrong pipe as you cough harshly. It dribbles down your chin and a few drops plop! onto your light wash jeans. You’re glad it wasn’t wine. You would’ve killed him if he made you stain your newly bought trousers. While you try to hold onto dear life, he has the audacity to fucking laugh. When you kick his shin under the table, he hands you a few napkins. It takes you another minute to calm down.

“What the actual fuck?” you hiss. The little “incident” earns you a few weird looks from people sitting nearby. It’s so embarrassing, but Yoongi is acting like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen.

“Let me be your revenge d–”

“I heard you the first time, Jesus Christ. Please don’t say the word “dick” to me ever again. In fact, please stop talking altogether. Please don’t open your mouth ever again.”

He does not abide by your request, opening his stupid mouth again and thus cementing his place as your least favorite person in the entire world right this minute. You lost half your brain cells listening to that one singular sentence. Jesus fucking God. Who in their right mind would utter something like that? And to you, no less? Fuck. Men.

One of these days, you swear you will pop an aneurysm. It’s so ridiculous that it’s not even funny. But Yoongi just keeps talking like you’re asking him to elaborate.

“What I’m saying is… use me.”

“For what?” You’re genuinely so perplexed as to what the point of this conversation is, or where it’s even going. This man has a way of surprising you more and more each day.

“For revenge dicking purposes.”

You do your best to suppress a shudder. Where did that term even come from? “Oh my god, why do you keep saying that? We’re in public! What if someone hears you?!” 

The man sitting across from you grins, showcasing his pearly whites, clearly very amused by your reactions. “You gotta show Jungkook what he’s missing. Make him regret it.”

“Min Yoongi,” you say slowly. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious,” Yoongi answers. “Let me be your arm candy. I’m very good at that.” You’re very curious about who raised him and how he turned out to be this way. You can’t believe you have to tolerate him sometimes.

You give it another minute before you say, “I’ll have you know that Jungkook and I had a very productive talk. We’re in a much better place now, so your… whatever services won’t be necessary.”

He leans back, eases up, and stares at you thoughtfully. Like he doesn’t really believe you. Like the cogs of his mind are once again turning. “Okay, that’s even better. I don’t have to be the rebound. I can just be your main piece.”

Looking at him pleadingly, you bemoan, “Yoongi, why are you doing this to me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It absolutely is not obvious!”

“Seriously?”

You cross your arms, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the man. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of people you’re hanging out with, but my friends don’t go around offering to–”

“Because I like you.”

You could practically facepalm. As he stares at you, not even blinking anymore, you reach for the salt shaker on the table to pour some onto your hand. When he opens his mouth to ask what you’re doing, you flick the miniscule white crystals in his direction. 

“Wha–”

“Yoongi, I can’t believe you wasted a whole evening for that lame ass joke.”

“Did you really just…” He throws his head back, laughing in both disbelief and amusement. “Wow. You tell a girl you like her and she throws salt at you. That’s definitely a first for me.”

“It’s not funny. Stop saying that.”

“Stop saying what?”

“Stop saying you like me!”

“But I do like you,” he says, voice softer now. “I’ve always liked you.”

You mentally groan, sucking your teeth before you reach for the salt again. He grabs your wrist before you could hold it up. 

“Quit it and listen to me. I’m serious.”

When you look at Yoongi, he’s wearing an expression you don’t think you’ve often seen, or ever seen before. There’s no trace of that familiar teasing smile that’s almost always on his lips, nor the mischievous glint in his eyes that he usually sports. This side of Yoongi is new to you. This side of Yoongi makes you hold your breath for some reason.

For a second there, you believe what he’s saying.

“Come on. You’re taking this too far.”

“Why do you keep thinking this is a joke? You know I would never do that, Y/N.”

You pull your hand back to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Because you keep using me to mess with Jungkook even though I’ve asked you multiple times to–”

“Can you not mention his name?” Yoongi straightens in his chair. This is the closest he’s ever come to being annoyed with you. “I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re thinking about Jungkook.”

You liked it better when he was cocky about it.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now.”

Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes telling you that he’s irritated with you too, only he’s much better at containing his frustration. You both stare at each other for god knows how long because neither one of you understands what the other is trying to say.

When Yoongi speaks next, his voice is so calm, so low that it makes your spine run cold.

“You were always so oblivious.”

“Oh my god, pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mutter to yourself like a deranged person on the sidewalk, telepathically urging Taehyung to answer the phone before you’ve even called him. His phone filters through your speaker after the third ring. Kim Taehyung, always so quick to answer your calls.

“What’s u–”

“Oh my god, Kim Taehyung, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you will not believe what just happened,” you rush out in one breath. “Where are you? Are you at home? I’ll come to you. Oh my god!”

“Jesus, did you mix coffee with Red Bull again? Slow down,” Taehyung says. “I’m at Jimin’s now.”

“Oh? Okay.” This is even better. Jimin’s apartment is much closer to the restaurant than Taehyung’s place is. “Is it boys’ night? Nevermind. Doesn’t matter. I’ll come over right now. Be there in 15!”

“What? Wait, Y/N, no, Ju–!”

You hang up before he can say anything else. You bounce on your heels as you flag down a cab, so awfully restless and you just want to tell someone. On the ride over, the driver keeps glancing at you through the rearview mirror every few seconds; your nervous energy must have infected him because you look like you just found out that someone is freaking dying. When you arrive at your destination, you take a deep breath before you hurry up the stairs. Jimin’s building is old and has no elevator, which normally sucks because he lives on the fifth floor and you absolutely despise stairs. But right now, you have so much adrenaline coursing through your veins that five flights feel like a piece of cake.

You have no doubt that the men inside know it’s you from the way you ring his doorbell repeatedly. Jimin opens the door with an exasperated look, to which you pay no mind and just press a quick kiss against his cheek in greeting before you barge into his home in search of Taehyung.

“Kim Taehyung! Where are you? This is an emergency, I need y–!”

When you do find him, however, he isn’t alone. Sitting next to Taehyung on the couch and holding a bottle of beer to his lips, is none other than Jungkook. You all look at each other awkwardly as the words die on your tongue, killing some of the nerves while you bite your lip to keep your mouth shut. Jimin waddles into the living room after he shuts down the door and plops down next to Jungkook. Now there are three pairs of eyes on you.

“Oh, uhm, hi,” you say to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Hi,” he says, and offers you a beer on the table. “Want one?”

What you said to Yoongi at dinner wasn’t exactly untrue. You and Jungkook are kind of in a better place now. In the last few days, since you had your little chat in his car, he’s let up on the crap that he was pulling before. Something still feels off to you though. Feels like his head isn’t really in it, that he’s still doing this for the sake of trying to ease his guilt by going along with what he thinks makes you happy. Whatever. It’s at least a little progress, you suppose.

“No, that’s fine.” You wave Jungkook off before inching closer to Taehyung and pulling him up by the arm. “Uhm, I just needed to talk to Tae and I’ll be on my way!”

You drag your friend into the guest bedroom that Jimin has recently turned into an office, all the while ignoring his shout of “This better be good! Don’t forget to tell me later!” as you shut the door.

You glare at Taehyung. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that Jungkook was here?”

“I tried to!” He raises his hands in surrender. “You hung up on me. I texted you about it.”

You rummage through your bag for the phone that you so hastily shoved in there before getting into the taxi. The notification on your screen glares back at you.

[21:42] Taebear 🐻: jungkook is here btw. dunno if you’re cool with that

“Right…” you mutter. “My bad.”

“Well?” Taehyung prompts, then his face turns worried as he gives you a once-over. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

You inhale deeply, holding onto his wrists and staring him dead in the eye. Even with the door closed and with Jungkook and Jimin all the way in the living room, you keep your voice low. “I think I just got propositioned.”

Your friend blinks slowly, or rather, he closes his eyes for five whole seconds before he opens them. Taehyung visibly relaxes when he comprehends that you are, in fact, okay and healthy, and that you’re just being overly dramatic.

He pushes your hands away. “Fuck off. I thought something bad happened.”

“Something bad did happen!”

“You are literally the worst person.”

“I’m serious!”

He groans and looks at you like a disappointed parent. “Fine,” he relents, “what happened?”

“I think Yoongi sort of pimped himself out to me today.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it, and does it again a few times. “You can’t just say that and not elaborate.”

“He said he likes me.”

There comes that slow-ass, neverending blink again. Taehyung looks like the meme, like he’s seeing the world in nothing but equations.

“I fail to see how that would be considered pimping oneself out.”

“Well, you have to hear what he said after–”

A mop of fluffy blond hair materializes out of thin air, startling you both. You didn’t even hear him come in. That sneaky little thing. “What are we talking about?” Jimin asks, lowering his volume to match yours. “Why are we whispering?”

“Why are you here?” You look behind him at the door that he left ajar. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s in the living room.”

“By himself?”

“Well, there’s no one else here, so duh.”

You exhale exasperatedly. “Now it’s gonna look like we’re talking about him.”

“Aren’t we?”

“We’re talking about Yoongi,” Taehyung says, casting his eyes to the ground briefly.

“Yoongi?” Jimin asks, glancing between you and Taehyung with a slight frown. “Your Yoongi?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean my Yoongi? There’s only one Yoongi. He’s the Yoongi.”

“Okay. So what’s up with the Yoongi?”

Taehyung turns to his wonder twin with an unamused look. “She’s doing that annoying thing where she gives you a single detail of the story and you have to ask her to keep going every time.”

Blondie makes a face. “Oof, yeah, that’s annoying. Don’t do that.”

You gape at the two of them. “I’m giving you tea and you’re complaining about my storytelling skills?”

You should’ve expected it, should’ve known what was coming the second that question left your mouth. The guys don’t even need to look at each other to be in sync when they echo, “Yes.”

“But seriously,” Jimin says, “what about Yoongi?”

“We went to dinner tonight and he… said he likes me…” you tell him, and physically recoil at the memory. Oh… the horror. “And he said, oh my god I can’t even repeat it without wanting to jump off a bridge, he said to let him be my revenge dick.”

Jimin gasps. Taehyung chokes on his own spit. They both sputter out, “What the fuck?”

“Right?!” you cry, still so fucking mortified by the experience. “I almost died just sitting there. I can’t believe he made me listen to that with my own two ears.”

Taehyung is the first one to turn serious. “What happened after that though?” You don’t know what you would do sometimes if there wasn’t a Kim Taehyung to ground you.

“Well, I came here.”

“So…” he drags out the single word, “you ran away from him?”

Jimin looks at you expectantly too, wearing the same question in his eyes. You frown at them. “What? No. I threw salt on him and told him to stop fucking around and then I lef– Oh my god, I did run away.”

Shit.

Shit.

“Hold up, what the fuck,” Jimin cackles, like this is all just so funny. “You threw salt on him?”

You let out a nervous laugh, and point finger guns at your friends idiotically. “But it’s fine. Because obviously he didn’t mean it.”

“Why would you think he didn’t mean it?” Taehyung asks.

“He’s an annoying little shit sometimes! And,” you keep your volume under control again, “he hates Jungkook. He’s only doing it to piss him off.”

Taehyung purses his lips, regards you with a look you don’t like because you’re trying to sort through this logically, convince yourself that it isn’t real and that Yoongi is just missing April Fool’s day by four whole months. Why is your friend making this more difficult?

“Is it so hard to believe that someone can like you?”

“Yes,” you say seriously, “when that person is Yoongi.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s Yoongi!” You throw your hands up. “He’s not like us.”

“I hate to break it to you, but celebrities aren’t above having crushes.”

You look at Jimin for help, but he just shrugs, choosing silence as the neutral option or maybe staying silent is just his way of agreeing with Taehyung. This isn’t the reaction you expected when you rushed here to give him the goss. Taehyung doesn’t blindly support your every decision or try to rationalize your every move just because he’s your friend. He tells you to your face when you’re being absurd, so you really don’t get why he’s the one being unreasonable right now.

“Oh my god, please,” you say. “Yoongi absolutely does not have a crush on me.”

Jimin chimes in. “Well, he did literally just admit that to you.”

You send him a glare that says, Oh, so now you’re talking?

You turn to Taehyung again. You can’t believe this is happening. Are you two really arguing? About whether or not Yoongi actually likes you? While Jungkook is sitting by himself in another room? You bet nobody has this on their bingo card.

“I told you. He’s just trying to fuck with Jungkook.”

“Why do you keep saying that? Why do you think he’s trying to fuck with Jungkook?” Taehyung challenges.

“Because he’s my friend!” you groan. It’s the most obvious thing in the world, but no one seems to believe that Yoongi is just your friend. “You’re my friend too. But you’re being so fucking annoying now.”

He narrows his eyes at you, as if to prove a point. “Yoongi is that good of a friend that he would go out of his way to mess with someone he hadn’t even met until a couple weeks ago?”

“I– well– maybe!” you stammer, blinking up at him. The height difference is clearly not doing you any good. “He’s a very petty person. And when he isn’t being a little shit, he can be a very good friend.”

Taehyung scoffs, seriously getting on your nerves. It isn’t even any of his business. You just wanted to tell him for the sake of sharing with your best friend, not ask for his opinion on any of it. He doesn’t even know Yoongi, never even met him.

“I know what people are like when they’re in love with you,” Taehyung mutters, eyeing the ground. Jimin makes a noise and nudges his friend in the rib, shaking his head while he does so.

 You, petty little you, want to fire back. “Oh, so Yoongi is in love with me now?”

Taehyung opens his mouth, prepared to continue his assault on your sanity when Jimin has to step in, waving his hands in front of you both. “Alright, that’s enough,” he says. “Why don’t we just call it a night and let’s reconvene when everybody is thinking straight, yeah?”

Taehyung doesn’t even look at you. You try to release your frustrations through a loud exhale, but it doesn’t do much. When all of you venture out into the living room to leave, you remember that Jungkook is still here. He looks at yours and Taehyung’s disgruntled expressions, then at Jimin’s face as he not-so-subtly shakes his head, silently telling him to not ask any questions. Poor guy, this was boys’ night after all. You couldn’t have spent more than 30 minutes in Jimin’s office. He was just quietly drinking his beer and watching TV out here, unaware of everything going on in the room just down the hall. Now everybody seems pissed and the night is spoiled.

You bid Jungkook and Jimin a curt goodnight before you head for the door, saying nothing to Taehyung because he clearly doesn’t deserve any pleasantries after tonight. You end up going home with more questions than answers.

You hate this. You hate it so much.

Now that you’re finally starting to actually coexist with Jungkook – of all people! – the other men in your life have to come for your head?

You haven’t spoken to Taehyung since that night, which was only three days ago, but still. It’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to your best friend. You don’t know what was up his ass, and Jimin has just been telling you to not overthink it, that Taehyung will reach out when he’s calmed down. It makes zero sense to you, because how does your situation affect him in any way? What does he even have to calm down from?

With Yoongi, on the other hand… Well, you’re still convinced that he was just being good old insufferable Yoongi. This is how he has always been – teasing, easy going, and has a good rapport with you. That night was just a fluke. Maybe he had too much to drink and didn’t know when to stop the joke from getting too carried away.

You are not fighting with Yoongi. You are not fighting with Yoongi. You remind yourself of this, so that when you see him in the studio next, everything is okay.

Yoongi arrives some time after lunch and brings everybody coffee. You expect him to be lighthearted as always, which he is, and you expect him to sit next to you as always, which he does. He laughs with Seokjin, chats with Namjoon about the art scene, pokes “friendly” fun at Jungkook every now and then. You two work side by side, bouncing ideas off each other like you normally do. He doesn’t mention the dinner, which makes you feel a whole lot better about that night because see? Everything is fine. If everything is fine with Yoongi then everything is fine with Taehyung too.

Some time around 5pm, Yoongi asks if you should all go out for drinks tonight. He gets shot down by the guys though. Apparently no one is up for after-work drinks on a Tuesday night.

“You’re no fun,” Yoongi grumbles before turning to you with hopeful eyes. “Y/N?” he whines, “Indulge me like you usually do, please?”

“No, thanks,” you decline. You glance up in time to see Jungkook quietly chuckling to himself. “Today is my self-care day.”

“Tuesday is your self-care day?”

“Because tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a pre-Wednesday routine.”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re very weird about Wednesdays?” Seokjin asks.

You hum in thought for a moment before answering him. “You did. And then you told me a really bad dad joke.”

He makes an exasperated Ahh noise as he recalls the very moment, then blasts his booming windshield wiper laugh when he remembers the joke he made. “Hey, that joke was killer!”

“It absolutely was not! The only decent one that I’ve heard from you is–”

“No, no, hey,” Yoongi cuts in, “don’t entertain him and his stupid jokes. Come onnn, you know I hate drinking alone. Go for a drink with me, princess. You used to be my drinking buddy all the time.”

“Uh huh,” you scoff. “And look where drinking with you got me.”

“I allow fraternizing in the workplace as long as I’m still the priority, guys,” Seokjin chirps in. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you say quickly. “No one is fraternizing with anybody!”

Yoongi hums quietly. He drops his volume, just for your ears. “No? Is that your answer then?”

“What?” you whisper. You don’t know why you’re whispering. You just do it because Yoongi is doing it.

“You kinda ran out on me the other night.”

“I didn’t–”

He gives you a look.

“Okay, maybe I did… but only because you were being ridiculous!”

Yoongi licks his lips and tips his head toward the door. He’s the first one to stand up and head out of the room, followed by you half a minute later. You appreciate him wanting some privacy for you two to talk, but you don’t like that this is a conversation that needs privacy. You were all just joking around in there. If this is still a joke, why is he leading you out here?

Walking out the door, you hear Seokjin call after you, “Fraternizing!”

“That is not what’s happening!”

You find Yoongi in the empty breakroom, leaning against a counter.

“You can drop it now, Yoongi,” you say.

“What?” he tilts his head, looking at you curiously. “You still think I’m messing around?”

“Obviously.”

“Why is that?” he asks. “What makes that so hard to believe?”

It’s what Taehyung asked you the other night too.

Because you’re you! is what you almost say. It’s the same answer you gave Taehyung, because, well, do you even need another explanation? You don’t tell him that though, thinking it might offend him somehow. Instead, you throw him a question.

“Okay. Sure. Let’s say that you are serious. What happened? When did you even start liking me? Why are you telling me now?”

Yoongi exhales gently, straightening up to walk closer to where you are. He stops when he’s right in front of you, looking right into your eyes and using the same voice he did that night. “I always liked you. I liked you last year when we first worked together and I like you now. The only difference is then, you weren’t trying to move on,” he says, so unwavering that it makes you stagger.

That… is not what you were expecting. You blink up as he smiles down at you fondly. You feel lightheaded. Maybe even scared, because what if he means it? He sounds too sincere for it to just be all fun and games. You remember the way he held your hand when he made you put on that stupid fancy lotion.

His voice keeps lowering, and you hate that it makes you nervous. Your stomach twists, your heart pounds against your ribs.

“If you’re moving on now, can’t you do it with me?”

Looking back now, were there signs that you should have noticed?

You stand there, processing, not knowing what you should say to him, not really even breathing anymore. Yoongi must interpret your silence as realization, recognition, because he chuckles, again amused by your reaction.

“Yoongi…”

He stops you, though you weren’t going to say anything else. You feel like you could cry. Maybe he sees it in your eyes. Yoongi pats your arm gently, still smiling. “I’ll let you sleep on it, princess.”

When he leaves the room, you keep standing there by yourself. So Taehyung was right? Your friend who has never had a single interaction with Yoongi, who has only heard about him from the stories you shared, could tell that there was something there? That Yoongi had feelings for you all along?

At the dinner, Yoongi said you were always oblivious.

Is it possible that you really had no idea, or did you just force yourself to look the other way?

That night, was he hurt? After you repeatedly dismissed him and eventually walked out?

Oh, Yoongi…

When someone enters the room after you’ve been standing here for what feels like forever, navigating the sea of your own thoughts, you startle to life.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, eyeing you as he goes to fix himself a cup of coffee.

“Yep, mhmm,” you respond. You try to shove away all of your unraveling emotions. They could wait until later.

You have no idea why you’re still standing here, watching Jungkook make coffee with his back to you, but that’s arguably a better idea right now than to go back to the studio where Yoongi is. 

“You know,” Jungkook starts, pressing the buttons on the fancy coffee machine that you don’t know how to use. “I don’t think it’s very professional. Y’know, Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

You stare at his broad shoulders with your brows furrowed, already on edge even though you don’t know what he’s referring to.

“What?”

“I don’t think it’s professional,” he repeats. “Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”

“When has Yoongi ever flirted with me?” you ask. It’s meant to sound sarcastic and defensive, hoping he’ll take the hint to back off but really, now that you’ve said it, it’s a question that you yourself would genuinely like the answer to.

“Admit it,” Jungkook says, turning around to face you. “It’s not like he tries to be very subtle about it. All the nicknames, always complimenting you, even when he put his hands all over you the other day right in front of us! There’s no way that you’ve missed the way he looks at you sometimes.”

You blink a few times, not sure if you heard him right. You hope your brief silence gives him a chance to backtrack when he sees how offended you are, but he just stares at you. Jungkook really does have the worst timing, and it doesn’t take long for your anger to overflow. Moving forward together in peace lasted a whole week, huh?

“Even if Yoongi is flirting with me, how is it any of your business?”

“It kinda is my business, though, isn’t it? Considering he does it at my place of work.”

Oh, he’s gotta be kidding. 

“Okay, it’s your place of work,” you hiss. The steam rising from his fresh mug of coffee might as well resemble the cartoon-like smoke churning from the top of your head. Jungkook seems taken aback by your reaction, but honestly, what the hell did he even expect when he said something like that to you? “So you fucking the receptionist must be so professional, right?”

Paling about a hundred shades, he looks like you just poured a bucket of ice cold water over his head. The gulping throat, the parting lips, the guilty eyes and his whole demeanor exuding shock and embarrassment, because Jungkook didn’t know that you knew, let alone foresee that you would throw it in his face. He stands there, dumbfoundedly muttering, “How– Who told you about that?”

You ignore his question. Why does it even matter who told you? If you were less angry, you would be more curious as to how he thought this was going to go. Why would he say something like that out of nowhere? 

He said he deserved your rage? He wanted you to be mad? Fine. Be careful what you wish for.

You feel sick to your stomach and he would come to you and say shit like that. Like Jungkook can dictate anything about your life. Like he has the right to fuck things up and leave when he’s had his fun.

Your sinuses burn when you speak next. “You don’t see me running to you, whining about how Jihyo always looks at me like she wants to gouge my fucking eyes out. How she’s always so nice and bubbly to everyone but then when it’s me, she acts like I ran over her fucking dog.”

Yeah, he definitely wasn’t expecting this reaction.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“No, just save it. You talk a big game about trying to do right by me and then you go and say shit like this. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m so fucking tired.”

People often say that you should never make decisions when you’re angry. No one wants to end up regretting something they said or did in the heat of the moment. You’ve always thought that this is good advice, and you always try to live by it because you know your temper can get the best of you sometimes.

The keyword here, though, is try.

You run a hand through your hair, feeling infuriated at this point because Jungkook keeps fucking explaining himself, even though he’s the one who started this whole thing. You can’t even properly hear what he’s saying, all of his words going into one ear and out the other. Something about it not meaning anything and ending it with her months ago. 

You take a deep breath and look into his panicked eyes.

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”

You think he’s apologizing again, from the way his lips form the words I’m sorry, but your pulse is ringing so loud in your ears that you don’t really catch the sounds. The anger inside of you still simmers despite having spilled over. Your face is so eerily calm that you hope it scares him. When you turn on your heels to leave, you know he’s following you back to the studio. You sit back down beside Yoongi but you don’t meet his eyes. You keep your gaze trained on the open notebook, nursing that anger.

You should’ve known that there’s no moving forward with Jungkook. If anything, he just wants to tie you to the past and never let you leave. Is he that immature, that selfish that even after all this time, after what he did, he can’t stand the idea of you and someone else?

You briefly make eye contact with Jungkook from across the room before you turn to Yoongi, your voice loud enough for everyone to hear.

“On second thought, that drink does sound nice,” you tell him with a smile. “Pick me up at 9?”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted december 31, 2022]

[somemetallyillbitch]

John Nolan x López!reader

Bc I love the parents friend trope I'll write another nolan ff this time with reader being a lopez (and of age, like 21 22 or smth like that)

John Nolan x reader fluff

Warnings: mamma Lopez, swearing, Nolan scared of his life, hints of smut but no actual smut, mentions of Alcohol (let me know if I forgot anything)

AN: I have zero clue what I made here but something came out so her yall go have fun

It was John's rare day of and we charished it with quality time and Netflix. That's when my phone rang. "Lopez-Evers? Hi mom what's up?" *over the phone* "Hi sweetie how you doing?" "What do you want mom?" "Can't a mother ask how her child is doing?" "She can but I know she wants something by her tone so spill it" "What do you know about secret relationships?" my heart sank "what would I know about that?" "We think Nolan is in one and you have the greatest skills to find out who it is." "Aren't you the detective?" "I can't spy on my co-worker" "so you want me to do it?" John looked at me with confusion and he picked me up and put me on his lap and nuzzled into my neck while I kept talking "Mom I love you but I won't Stalk your co-worker bc you want to know who he is dating, if you want to find out ask him yourself. Why don't you and dad throw a grill party or something then you could ask him, I can come to if you want, I mean it's springbreak so I have the next two weeks in LA." "okay I'm gonna tell your dad but please tell me what you find" "I won't find anything bc will not stalk Nolan end of discussion. Love you bye." John looked at me confused "why would you Stalk me?" "I will not Stalk you amor but I don't think this will be a secret much longer. My mom really wants to know who you date, maybe because you act differently." "So we are going to a grill party at your parents to find out I date you?" he asked amused "Yes precisely now if you don't stop with the little kisses I will drag you into the bedroom." I said and earned a mischievous grin from him "Oh well I do not mind" and kissed my neck harder until he hit my weak spot and I moaned. "John I swear to god~ christ that is good" he chuckled into my neck, turned me around and picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. "amor, as much as I would love doing that I have to get home and change." I was mad at myself for saying that. "You look beautiful all the time love" he said and kissed me. "thank you baby but I still have to change into something that isn't yours even if we get exposed today I still want to drag it out because as soon as my mother knows all hell will break lose and at least then she will have some alcohol in her system. " I said. "Alraight I will see you tonight but after that I will take out outfit and it will be in the corner of the room." "Okay sound perfect, I love you and I will see you at my parents." I gave him a quick kiss and walked out the house.

*Timeskip bc Idk what to write*

I was wearing something that will drive john insane bc the last time I wore it I couldn't walk the next day, that was fun explaining that to my professor when I couldn't stand for my presentation. I arrived and My Parents friend were already here but no John.

"I thought that whole thing was about Jo- Nolan, where is he?" I asked cursing myself for almost calling him John.

"He Texted me traffic is bad so he's running late." Lucy said. "What happened to your neck?" Harper asked with a smile "Got a Guy from LA?" "You have a boyfriend?" My mom asked in disbelief "I do and I wanna say imma kill him but I think you will take care of that." I said and the realisation hit Harper "No..." "Yes and I need you to not tell anyone okay" "Harper who is it?" My mother asked. "Oh you are going to figure that one out by yourself I am just gonna get popcorn and enjoy the show." she said and Lucy gave her a look of confusion then realisation and then shock in what my mother is going to do to him as soon as she finds out.

Nolan was enjoying a beer and a talk with my dad when my mother interrupted "Nolan question, do you know who my daughters boyfriend is?" She asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world John on the other hand was white as a ghost. "Why would I know that I barely see her I didn't even know she's here hi btw it's good to see you again, now I'm going to get a beer you want one?" He asked pointing at me "Yes I would love to and get my mother also one." Once John was gone a turned to my mom "Where is dad?" "Oh he is in the back Jard showing James his knew grill" My mum and Harper chuckled "What is it with Dads and Grills?" I that moment John came back and handed me mine and my mom's beer, when he handed me mine he said: "Here you go Honey-" That's when everyone froze. "Nolan, I am going to kill you!" "Oh God I would run amor" And with that John ran to the other guys and try to hide. We all started laughing.

[killerlookz]

just wanna let you know, i’ve been meaning to reread all three parts of heartbeat! au because it’s one of the best joost klein au’s of all time & i will patiently wait literally forever for any future entries!! i’m not hopping in your inbox to pressure you, i know you’re on a hiatus, i just hope you don’t mind if i gush over your own work to you:

“it can’t be that easy”

•ngl i’m pretty sure i’ve read this chapter 4 times now? i’ve read “heartbeat” that many times too i think, but only read “no going back” twice?

•the angst in this is so perfectly written in every way, it crushes me every time i read it. everything feels so heartless, careless, purposefully soul-crushing, while at the same time, tender & full of unforgotten want and fulfillment.

•obv i feel so bad for reader but lina’s place in all this kills me, she doesn’t deserve to be caught in this break-up-cheating-rebound-spiral.

•it makes me wonder how lina & joost even got together? where did they meet? did joost instantly see her as a rebound? & how did they break up? did she find out about joost & reader that night? how furious was she? or perhaps their relationship was too fresh to create any deep wounds around joost?

•when reader is looking away and lina & joost discuss her being super drunk while reader’s *right there*, ooughh i’ve been that person so many times, not even being drunk or not even having an ex & their new partner talking about me, just…people…idk what it is—people like talking about me as if i’m not there…it’s…dehumanizing—makes me sick that it happened to reader, especially from joost & lina :((

•congratulations on writing some of the most gut-wrenching dialogue i’ve ever heard!!! specifically these quotes, i think about them almost day to day now:

•"Doesn't sound like you."

"Don't really feel like me."

(^makes me want to tear my skin off, i feel like this was the very moment joost even admitted that feeling to himself, i think post-break-up he’s obviously been heartbroken but i think there, at that party, on that couch, was the first time he vocalized the fact that he’s not even been himself without reader.)

•"Stop that," Joost's voice is low, soft. "Don't need to see that."

"Hard not to." You hum, letting your hand drop back down to his shoulder.

(^this??? this????! i haven’t been able to stop thinking about since i first read it..imagine tracing hickies on the love of your life’s neck because *you* didn’t leave them there & he says “don’t need to see that”???? because he’s ashamed of himself??? he wishes you didn’t see what he’s done without you!?!? ohhhhhhhmygoooooddduhhh actual chills & tears in my eyes reading that i will never be the same!!!)

•"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." You can't really appreciate his apology, a sorry not changing the fact now there's a girl other than you in his life.

"I am."

(^same thing as the hickies one, joosts genuine regret of what he’s done is actually making me feel like there’s this never-ending black hole inside of me just eating me alive forever…the hurt there is unmatched.)

•"Don't deserve it after-"

"Stop it." He immediately cuts you off, "You deserve this. And more, just sorry I'm showing you that so late."

(^ooohhh so now he wanna be a good boyfriend??? okay brooo okayyy…you couldn’t even meet your girlfriends friends tonight, you couldn’t even get up & dance with her!! bc you’re consumed to the core by your ex only once she’s broken your heart…tsk tsk…okay man whatever!!!)

it might be for all these reasons that “it can’t be that easy” is my favorite chapter??? dare i say that??? fluff is good, comfort is great, but angst? that biting feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get from angst is unmatched. “it can’t be that easy” gives me that feeling every single time. i need a cigarette after reading it..i’ll brb while i go read the other two chapter tonight as well ^_^

-ego⋆♱✮

hi oh my goodness i just saw all your inboxes and this is just so sweet 😭 i wish i could just go and write every single second of heartbeat lore now OMFG- you are so kind! thank you so much for your thorough review of heartbeat. it makes me so incredibly happy to know that people genuinely enjoy my work. thank you so so sooo very much 🩷 i hope there is more to come in the future once i have time! my winter break is in less than a month and is like 50% longer than it usually is so, ill have over a month to get back to writing!! i hope i will be able to :-)

[respitelocklyre]

⚠️ Failed to post due to network connectivity issues. Please check that your connection is stable and try again.

[The following session summary is set up as a series of fast-paced tweets from Respite's private account, none of which posted successfully.]

>Heyyy so this is a longshot but does anyone here know spells that can undo, like, idk... transmutation magic? I think I messed w some fae shit and now im tiny and trapped inside an enchanted dollhouse lol [Attached are pictures of gigantic furniture, as seen from through a window, presumably from inside said dollhouse]

>As if my date night hasnt been going badly enough im gonna kms

>Okay for some context, if u follow my insta or dinkdonk u know im at the seelie market tonight and everything seemed rlly fun but it turns out there's some dark shit happening. so we wanted to snoop more while their main show was going on.

>(like ENSLAVEMENT kinda dark shit btw- we're trying to help ppl! there's a hag running the market and holding ppl hostage!! including my friend's sister maybe!!! I promise I'll have a whole other post abt that later tho lol)

>Anyways i talked to the guy running the ring toss & he said the show would be like 30min but didn't know if the big bad boss lady (Madame) would be there or not so we were being sooooo careful

>We even checked for divination magic but Sersh didn't find ANY magic at all, which was ultimately WAY more sus. Thad kept saying we should just leave which, like, FAIR, but i felt like we couldn't just go back empty-handed (mistake)

>Can't go into too much detail but i found my way into the totally unlocked Madame's caravan to try and search for the contracts keeping everyone enslaved. it was full of puppets and dolls and dresses and this crazy ornate dollhouse (foreshadowing)

>Also wait omg i almost got caught while sneaking in, but i used a bunch of cantrips to make everyone think there was an earthquake and then i pretended to be one of the marionettes inside the caravan when the goblin workers came to investigate lolol suckers totally fell for it

>And once they were gone i found a key and a couple slips of paper inside a wardrobe! The papers were these weird fairytales. Does anyone recognize them??? [Attached images of the uploaded document/story from the DM]

>The key went into a slot in the dollhouse so naturally, if a key fits im gonna turn it, right??? it must've been trapped tho bc that shit knocked me TF out

>So that's where im at rn. I just kinda woke up inside the dollhouse. im gonna keep trying to call my bf or my party but the service is spotty af. Any advice is appreciated 😭

>^^^For legal reasons this is all a joke btw and i didn't do any of this. Making it up for clout, etc etc

>Kind of urgent

>Also OMG I almost forgot the most important part: one of my party members showed me his fucking SOUNDCLOUD and it was so 💀💀💀 PLEASE go give it a listen and tell me ur thots lol his handle is @/ThadyT

>like dont be mean or comment anything bc he'll know whats up so be cool but omfg i just need someone else to listen to this alfkjasldf;fdhg

>Oh shit i dont think these are posting LMAAOOOO RIP TO ME 🪦 SEE U GUYS IN THE SHADOWFELL IG 🫡🐦‍⬛👑

[pinkspiraling]

i can’t do it i have to tell you what happened bc ur my besties

nsfw, tmi

my friend and i went to a bar and it was the same bar where i had met this guy who was obsessed with me and he’s a bit older than me and he’s so fucking fine. i kind of ghosted him bc i’ve been too depressed to even want to see him. so at the bar i’m thinking about him and this bar was not very busy and we were like hmmmm…let’s go to the other bar where the guy works. so we go there, we get drinks and one of the bartenders gave us free shots. eventually he came over to talk to us (he’s lead bartender there) and he’s like “where you been!” then he makes us like three free yummy shots and he gave me a free drink and twisted the straw into a heart (i’ll put a pic later). we met this girl and hit it off with her and then we talked to a couple of guys for a while and it was so fun. they both individually asked me what i was doing after and i had to tell them i was going home with the bartender HA. and one guy was like “if it doesn’t work out with the perfect- beard-guy, hmu” and i got his number. but the whole time me and Hot Bartender are looking at each other and giving each other looks. oh my god. then i took my friend home and drove to the bartenders place. i only stayed for like an hour and the whole time we were yk doin stuff. we didn’t have sex tho bc he had to pick up friends from a party and he wanted to rain check bc he didn’t wanna fuck me and then just leave. he said he doesn’t want me to think that’s all he cares about. but i was like bruh. very sweet and respectful of u but i came here to get fucked lmao. i also am insecure and felt like maybe he was trying to nicely reject me or something. but i could tell he was trying to make me feel better and feel wanted. and he wants to hang out tonight or friday night AND sunday night lmao. if he doesn’t say anything then ig my ego will be bruised. idfk what to think. BUT IT WAS SO FUN! it was a great night and he is honestly a very sweet guy, i’ve never heard him say anything douchey or disrespectful. i’ve actually only heard him say overly respectful things about women lol. and after i left he texted me that he should have had me stay over and wanted to know if i wanted to come back lmao. but i was lowkey freaking out and idk i was drunk and felt rejected. we’re good tho i think and i have no regrets. i hope he wants to see me again. here’s some nsfw tmi: i was obsessed with his balls, he had the best nicest balls LMAO

[thelastevilregal]

oh my god you want hear about problems? i have SO many problems and my Work Therapist just moved to miami so i have a backlog

so .. back in october i accidentally. slept with my housemate uhh not realizing she had had feelings for me for like a year and a half and we ended up dating for like 2 months. i realized i wanted to break it off around thanksgiving but didnt work up the nerve until the new year partly bc i got hit by a car early december and had to get her to pick me up from the er and then she did a lot to take care of me after and. AHH.

im ok now also but. i broke up w her right after we both got back from visiting our families for xmas and i was like i HAVE to do it tonight bc we had scheduled a 'roommate mtg' w all 4 of us to confront our other bitch roommate over how shitty she was acting and i was like. if i dont do this now then our relationship is going to come up in this talk. and i cant sit and defend us while actively wanting to break up ykkkkk?? ughh i felt so bad for it but the straw that had broke the camels back with bitch roommate was that when i told her that me and ex were dating, the cunt had the nerve to pull a face and say "yikes" before slamming the bathroom door in my face. then 15 seconds later yank it open again and snark "you couldnt have said something before we moved to a new place?" i was like "bitch its been a week wtf are you talking about" and she slammed the door again. as though id been dating my ex in 'secret' for like 6 months since our last apt???? IM not the one whos weird and cagey about my sex life. bitch roommate is the one who lied to me about being a virgin for some reason and then actively hid her sex life from me for the next 4 years in order to maintain that lie, as though i give a single solitary shit who or if she fucks????

but so bitch roommate and i did not speak again until the roommate meeting. at the end of which i was like 'k ig lemme clear the air about dnd' (i had my dm kick her out of my dnd group—they are MY friends to begin with and we were starting a new campaign with a much paired down party specifically bc we didnt want roommate bs at the table. the morning after he did she TEXTED me at 6:22am like 'i know youre afraid of conflict but this is fucking weird if you have a problem say it to me' as though cheap jabs will get me to talk to you. obviously i ignored her). cunt had the nerve to go 'yeah what was that about?' as though she really had no idea what she couldve done. im like bitch wtfym what was that about?? have you not noticed we havent spoken in 2 months?? she gave a half hearted 'i guess im sorry' when i told her she had been so far out of pocket it was ridiculous.

but again. id also broken up w my ex the night before all of that. so she had been planning to micromanage the shit out of this conversation and then ended up being an emotional wreck. i felt so bad but i was like i HAD to yknow???? she said we could go back to being friends......

so that was 2 months ago now. i 'gave her space' for the first few weeks (p much avoiding being at the house like i had when i was actively avoiding bitch roommate) and its been several weeks since ive like. checked in with her emotionally. shes finally started acting more normal around me again, mostly at my queue. she watched alien with me last weekend. opposite end of the couch, where she used to lean her head on my shoulder before we dated. although actually maybe that was a romantic feelings thing?? fuck. i dont know how to know if im being like, callous by just acting like things are the same as before, or if i should be doing something different, and its hard bc we have opposite work schedules so i dont see her most days anyway and idk how to talk to her about it. we havent gone into each others bedrooms beyond talking in the doorways since breaking up, but like it feels like a conversation we need to have in private, no?? ughhhhhhh i hate this. idk how to prompt this, nor what i actually need to ask her to begin with..... just like, are we actually okay, yknow?

my old work therapist thought my problems were hilarious. like an american telanovela. i was like well at least someone is enjoying this situation :/

You know I don't think I can even give you any terrible advice for this situation. Sounds like you got that part handled. Just keep doing what you're doing 💯

[dominikadecember]

I FORCED MY LIVEWATCH ONTO MY FRIENDS NOW Y'ALL GET TO ENJOY

Okay, I got pizza, i've got a drink, i've peed, lets start this

omg i knew they chose the perfect alex via taylor cus of his BDE but holy shit dude can do sensitive too and we're just a minute in!!!!!!!!

omg the blank was hilarious in the trailer but it's soooooo much funnier in full speed. I AM CACKLING

their interactions are perrrrrrfect!!!!!

the cake scene, is so uncomforttable. i cant watch this but i need to watch this but OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread

you may want to put me on mute bc holy shit i don't know i how ill get through two hours of this mornons

the opening credits are a perfect choice for this movie/book

sarah shahi just keeps getting prettier

uma is the perfect person to be cast as alex's ma and us prezzie

Best line ever 'There is no getting out of this." 'What if I set myself on fire?' 'We'd ship the ashes to Heathrow.' I LOVE ZAHRA!!!!!!!!

DAVID THE DOG IS MENTIONED I HOPE HE IS IN THE MOVIE LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS

ugh loads of london sights, so boring SHAAN IS HOT AS FUCK

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ENEMY ACT I LOVE IT I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE FREINDS AND THEN THE LOVERS OMG OMG OMGGGGGGG

henry needs all the makeup bc he's a pretty boy but alex is fucking FAAAAAINE

ughhhhh i love this movie so much imma cry

lmfao alex just called queen victoria 'vicky' in an interview and henry looks like he had a stroke

this is so good, the book closet vs movie closet scene is so well done i am so happy

taylor's. fucking. eyelashes. someone made this boy a maybeline ad from birth

AMY THE BODYGUARD DESERVES HER OWN SHOW

OMG THE MOMENT WHERE THEY REALISE THEY MAYBE POSSIBLY ARE NOT ENEMIES BUT JUST MISUNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER I AM SWOOOOOOONING

yaaaas ppl owning their privilege and being honest they may not be perf is mah jammmm

is alex in this movie not supposed to realise he is bi before he hooks up with henry like in the book? bc taylor has chemistry with EEEEEEEERRRRYBODY

omg they're starting to be friendsssssss

THE TURKEY SCENE OMG OMG

I love how they filmed the messaging scenes. So interesting.

alex's political career! i love this plot!!!

Zahra is srsly so fucking pretty

Nora is gorgeous as hell tooooooooo!!!!!!!! Everyone in this movie is absolutely perfect and pretty and i love them

Henry is just a dorky dork with dorkdom

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS EXQUISITE!!!!!!

ummm how did alex not get mono at this damn NYE party???

THE KISS THE KISS IS HAPPENING THE KISS OMFG THE KISS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I AM OMG!!!!!!

Nora is great but she's like a mix of Nora and June and idk how to feel about it.

OMG ALEX IS DESCRIBING THE KISS AND HOLY SHIT

WOW

Nora and Alex being besties works rllllllly well

lmao alex ignoring an ex for henry was the most obvious thing ever how did no one realise?????

OH MY GOD I CANT THIS MOVIE IS GONNA KILL ME

THE LONGING HOLY SHIT

THE FUN FLIRTY THING IS HAPPENING NOW AND I AM HERE FOR IT

HENRY IS VERY MUCH INTO BEING ORDERED BY ALEX AND I LOVE IT

THIS

IS

VERY

STEAMY

HOLY SHIT

Wow, someone said 'I'm bisexual' and it feels really fucking awesome.

THEY ARE SO CUTE AND HOT

casual hooking up' stage YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE STAHP LYING TO YOURSELVES

OMG OMG OMG MY BRAIN IS MELTING

my cat keeps on walking in and out scared cus i keep shouting OH MY GOD SO SORRY TYMEK ALSO NICHOLAS GALITZINE ON A HORSE IS ABSOLUTELY A FANTASY OF MINE

HOLY SHIT THAT IS GUNNERSBURY PARK THEY FILMED IN GUNNERSBURY PARK AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME?! RUDE AS FUCK!!!! I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE AND MADE NICHOLAS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!

'I think we should make love tonight'

'Um...yeah...I'm down' BOY PLS HOW DID YOU EVER GET LAID?????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I can't they are so fucking hot and cute and how is this okay??????????????????????

sorry heteros, no movie will ever have a love scene as beautiful as this movie

oh shittttt an argument between alex and ellen and alex going 'yes madam president' instead of 'yes mom' DAAAAAAAMN

Alex excited about stuff is lovely and Taylor is a very pretty boi

The CGI is pretty crappy but thankfully it doesn't feature way too much.

THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!

THE ZAHRA SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED

OH MY GOD THIS SCENE IS EVERYTTTTTTHING AND IS SO FUNNY OMG OMG OMG OMG

Shit. Alex coming out to his ma scene was beautiful and it hurt and it was perfect.

omg they are all so cute and perfect and cowboyy??? i am 100000000% into the cowboy!!!!!!!! and nicholas' voice, i forgot thhat the boy can sing!

ALEX YOU ARE IN LOVE IT BE OKAY

They changed from the book that alex's parents are together and not divorced and i think it works so well.

THEY ARE DOMESTIC IN THEIR BUBBLE AND CUTE AS FUCK AND TAYLOR IS GLISTENING WITH WATER AND I CANNOT HANDLE THIS

Oh no, this bit, this bit is sad, there is sad angst coming

THE ONLY REASON WHY I AM NOT CRYING AT RN IS BC THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AGAIN IS FUCKING GORG

1 hour and 17 minutes in. First fucking sighting of David the dog. Unbelievable. HE IS THE TRUE STAR OF THIS MOVIE!!!

sad angsty angst ☹️

'what if he won't see me?' OMG MY HEART

aw man, i wish we would have seen the dramatic scene where alex is at the palace gates screaming to be let in like that eric andre meme

there better be thousand deleted scenes

wooooooooah this confrontation is so much more powerful than in my book, these boys are such good actors omg

alex boy you're gonna catch a cold with that wet shirt 🙁 i think most of it is your tears than the rain

THAT BETTER BE ALEX'S BLUE HOODIE!

ugh, so jelly they got to have a museum all to themselves at night no less

also the V&E has never looked that nice whenever i've been there

'just a daft pubescent fantasy' BOY THAT'S HOW I LIVE

OMG THIS IS SO

OMG

'HISTORY HUH?! BET WE COULD MAKE SOME' THEY DID THIS SO FUCKING PERFECT OMG

WHEN DOES THE HAPPY EVER AFTER HAPPEN???? HENRY JUST WANNA KISS HIS BOY IN PUBLIC OMG

DAVID THE DOG IS BACK

Oh right, this fucking thing

The boys being outed by asshats

ofc miguel is involved, fuck off dipshit

Alex is fantastic at politics and I am in love with how fiercly he is protecting his and henry's relationship

ZAHRA IS SO DONE WITH THIS LOVESICK PUPPY SHIT I LOVE HER

ZAHRA IS MY HERO

OH MY GOD

I AM NOT OKAY EITHER HENRY

lmao you gossipy bitches

stephen fry in DA HOUSE!

lmao homophobia in the royal house here plaaaaay!

lmao when the king says 'i have read your emails all of them' alex is tots thinking 'they were hot weren't they' and henry is thinking 'fuckityfuck alex talks about my crack ☹️'

ALEX STANDING UP FOR HIS BOY IN FRONT OF ROYALTY GETS ME EVERYTIME

OMG YAAAAAAAAAS DA PUBLIC LOVES THEIR GAY PRINCE BOI!!!!

lmao philip 'you can't go out there' WHAT YOU GONNA DO? STOP THEM FIT BOYS WITH YOUR PASTY ASS STICK ARMS???

THEY. ARE. SO. CUTE.

you know it's fiction when texas has become a democratic state

THEY ARE SO FUCKING CURE

ARGHH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS SOOOOOO PRETTTTTTY

That is absolutely not the house I imagined.

OH NO IT'S OVER 🙁 BUT I LOVED IT SO MUCH OMG OMG OMG IT'S SO GOOD EVERYONE WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY!

lmao there's a bit at the end of the credit with the cake scene and alex going 'do you think anyone noticed?' i love this idiot so much

[castle-dominion]

I already watched the fairytale one so now I'm on 4x18 the doppledancer episode. a dance with death.

Wow I swear I've heard that name before Ooh latin dancing! She's dead but like idk.

Oona macaroni? water under the bridge? martha is so pretty

I love pyrotechnics. Love a short 19min window lmao that probably happens on the set of Castle too. Prop open the door so you can smoke. Btw Ryan is pretty af & wearing pink, for a while I thought it was bc he just got married but now I think it just looks good on him so he chooses to wear it. Idk. Ask Luke Reichle.

Lanie my beloved. At least she knows information on her past. Of course that's how it worked. (Here's that scene btw) KB: Hey, Ryan. Can I get a list of all the guests that were invited to tonight’s taping along with anyone that checked in at security? KR: Uh, already on it, but that’s not the only way in here. There’s an exit door to the alley down the hall. The crew guys like to prop it open so they can go out for a smoke. RC: So either our killer got lucky and found an unlocked door… KB: Or this was an inside job. LP: That gets my vote. Odette was a lock to win this thing. I bet it was one of her backstabbing rivals that did this. [The others stare at her.] LP: What? I watch the show. Odette was my favorite contestant. She was an heiress raised by her rich grandpa, a party girl headed down the wrong path, then a brush with death made her wake up and change her bad-girl ways. RC: That’s a great story. LP: Except for the ending. [Lanie indicates the body in front of them.] KR: I gotta say Dr. Parish, I never figured you for a fan of A Night of Dance. ((calls her dr parish rn, love it)) LP: I’m not exactly. It’s just… when I was young, more than anything, I wanted to be a prima ballerina. If I wasn’t dancing, I was thinking about dancing. ((Says the medical examiner working on a homicide)) RC: So what happened? LP: The girls game along when I was thirteen. [Lanie indicates her chest.] ((As a trans person who used to be very physically active but now has huge bazongas, I feel for ya Lanie)) LP: Not that many top-heavy ballerinas out there. [Castle and Ryan nod understandingly.] RC: Well, I think there should be. KB: Of course you do. RC: That’s not what I meant. Although… [Castle turns to Ryan, who nods eagerly in agreement.] ((the thing is, it's easier to dance when you don't have boobs swinging around hitting you in the chin, & then there's the eating disorders & body requirements...))

Man looks good with that shirt mostly open lol Oh esposito, making eyes at a pretty girl Ryan asked the question, she answered to esposito tho! Kinda rude tbh! *The two dancers walk away* KR: Damn. Did you see that? JE: Mm-hmm. :] KR: She acted like I didn’t even exist. JE: You don’t. Not since you put that ring on your finger. *Ryan looks at his hand* Get used to being invisible to single women. oH IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE ESPOSITO GETS RYAN'S RING STUCK ON HIS FINGER???

Except in dance it changes your body in legitimate irreversible ways. She would have needed to dance since she was a child. Well depending on the kind of dance

This weirdo co-producer judge fellow did it I think.

It was not eddy

I like eddy though

Sketch man has a freckle tho

Ryan ex-drug cop *immediately assumed it is drugs* which to be fair is a good assumption

He does not match the sketch but he kind of matches the sketch. Generic white guy with dark hair I mean yeah it was your JOB to be concerned abt her spending

I'm guessing she bought these clothes but doesn't have any in her closet: money laundering

Beckett's smile when castle gives her coffee RC: Sounds to me like the old gas card scam. KB: What do you mean? RC: Your parents put you on a strict allowance, but they give you a gas card so you can fill your car. Well, you fill your friends’ cars, and they give you cash. *Esposito listens* Some of my buddies in boarding school nearly doubled their allowance. KB: Uh-huh. RC: Not me, of course. [Beckett gives Castle a knowing look.] RC: That… [Esposito gives Castle a knowing look, too.] RC: Don’t tell my mother. ((GIRL YOU ARE AN ADULT & YOU ARE THE ONE LETTING HER LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE)) Except why would she need to buy clothes for her friends? She doesn't have a strict allowance in that way does she? Maybe it was to make it look like she is not getting cash? Ah she has a monthly cash stipend

I'm so used to people saying yasmine when it is spelled jasmine. *find the recording immediately* See? This is why you never make death threats

Like me doing my testosterone shots KB: Who’s Brian Dunkleman? ((Transcript has link to wikipedia))

Why would you assume speed of all things? Some kinds of speed don't really work injected. That's a nice bottle tho, v big, medical grade, she is not using a spoon & a lighter here. My question is: Did you find alcohol wipes, a sharps bin, extra needle tips, or anything like that?

Oona Marconi lmao. She looks good tho. Milf af. Captions said olivier, she said olivia or maybe olivié which would make sense Oh she is happy for her & her acting studio! Years & years? Don't call her old now b'y that was ages ago oona shush Laugh it off martha laugh it off Alexis there with the knife in the pie Me, planning on becoming a culinary teacher: Rude. Though accurate, I don't like line cooking & early mornings & late nights. Those who can't hack it, find better ways of hacking it, like teaching because we get regular hours RC: Could’ve been worse. *Cut to castle with beckett* RC: It couldn’t have been worse. My mother exposed her gooey center, and Oona Marconi drove a stake through it.

Diabulemia? Or maybe not... that's not how it works

Officially she was dead... "Or did she?" Secret twins? Castle all literary lol

btw there is a deleted scene here Minyard twins No idiot it was a crime of opportunity. But lol crazy wiccan powers would be funny ok but they never ran in the same circles but OG odette was a rich girl & then a party animal so you never know

The parent trap was great! They probably have similar ancestry though, it would have been better if they were distant cousins who didn't know they were related but both had ukrainian ancestry & possibly a relative in common. Could have explained it away as trauma from the crash.

RC: Well, that sounds like something better done one-on-one, mano a mano. Meantime, I want to take a ride downtown with the boys, [starting to stand up] check out that strip club. KR: Sorry, Castle. [Ryan pushes Castle back down into his chair.] KR: Three’s a crowd. [pats castle on the shoulder] [Castle and Beckett are stunned as Ryan and Esposito walk to the elevator.] JE: What’s up? Why you freezing out our boy like that? ((our boy)) KR: I want to try an experiment. Having Castle along would mess things up. [Ryan pushes the down button and clears his throat.] KR: Here. [Ryan takes off his wedding ring and holds it out to Esposito.] ((it's a really nice ring, I'd like to see a high quality pic of it.)) KR: Wear my wedding ring. ((gay lmao)) JE: What? [looks around at any other cops bc ryan is presenting a ring to esposito & the only thing missing is one knee] Get that thing away from me, man. It’s a mood killer. KR: Just wear it when we’re at the club. JE: What for? KR: See, I’ve been talking to all my married guy friends, ((I wish we knew more about their friends outside of work)) they say that your theory is way off. [gesturing with the ring] Wearing a wedding ring gets them more attention from women, not less. JE: So…? KR: So wear the ring. [shoves it in esposito's face. Esposito leans back away from it. The elevator dings & a cop sees ryan "proposing" to esposito but just kind of shakes his head & walks away.] I want to see if women still flirt with you and ignore me. [They enter the elevator.] ((btw espt's jacket is nice & has a grey-on-grey pattern on it.)) JE: So you didn’t’ want Castle to come because… Both: All the women would flirt with him. [holds it up again as the elevator starts to move] KR: I want to know if it’s just the ring that’s repelling members of the fairer sex. JE: It’s not the ring, bro. It’s you. [ryan lowers the ring, watching esposito] See, once you’ve been married for a little while and you’re feeling a little bored and unsatisfied, [ryan nods along] the ring will get you love from the ladies. They’ll want to take you away from all that so that you can be bore and unsatisfied with them. KR, still facing esposito but not looking at his face: Why not now? JE: (chuckle) Because now you’re all blissfully happy with your wife and whatnot. [ryan nods] You have the stink of honeymoon phase all over you. No woman wants to be around that. [esposito looks ryan down & up & shakes his head slightly as if he too doesn't want to be around that & turns to look away from him] KR: How long does it last? ((Why are YOU the MARRIED one asking HIM the Very Single one abt this?)) JE: Well, it’s hard to say. [taking the ring from the top] But knowing you and Jenny, [putting it on explicitly in ryan's view, but probs for the camera tbh] probably forever. [Esposito needs to kind of push Ryan’s ring on over the knuckle. Esposito cringes at it. Ryan, still facing where esposito was standing a second ago, moves his mouth to start a sentence but doesn't say anything, then follows Espt out the elevator]

She is talking to ryan this time at least, talking to both of them. Ryan has his ringless left hand up by his chin & he frequently gestures. Remember someone paid for a nose job? hm? Esposito unfolds the sketch & hands it to her with his ringed hand

Shantell: He lived over in alphabet city. He was always running some scam, borrowing money from Barbra for some new business venture and never paying her back. But she loved him. Crazy love, you know? JE: Oh, yeah. I do. [Esposito shows her Ryan's ring on his hand.] Stl: Hm. JE: Well, you’ve been very helpful, Shantell. Thank you for your time. Stl: (to Esposito) If you wanted, you could come back later. My show starts at eight. JE: I could probably do that— KR: He’s gotta get home to the little woman, [espt flounders a bit in the background] Shantell, but we do thank you for your time and your cooperation. Stl: All right. [Shantell leaves and Ryan and Esposito head for the exit.] JE: What’s wrong with you, man? Why you gotta throw salt in my game like that? KR: You can’t pick up on honeys while wearing the eternal symbol of my love and commitment to Jenny. [Ryan stops & puts a hand out, stopping Esposito too.] KR: Did I just say that out loud? JE: Mm-hmm. KR: No wonder women won’t flirt with me. I’m a lost cause, a man in love with his wife. JE, putting his hand on Ryan's shoulder: Enjoy it, my friend. A lot of men would switch places with you. [ryan riases his eyebrows & looks at espt] Not me. Mnh-Mnh. Other men. Guys. [ryan nods with squinty sus eyes] Unhappy single guys. KR: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me my ring back, and you can go get Shantell’s phone number. [Esposito smiles & tries to take it off, but the ring is stuck.] JE: What the… ow. KR: What? JE: (pants) It’s stuck. KR:

Castle is sitting in the desk across from beckett today. lmao alliteration Like that time you stole a police horse while naked?

lmao faux-dette, perfect name "all of barbara" Understudy to leading lady, wow he really is martha's son

Caskett are such a good team in this interrogation here I love it So fauxdette wasn't killed for being barbara she was killed for being odette probably SEE? Barbara HAD been dancnig since she was a kid!

THE BUTLER DID IT!

[Castle rubs soap on the Esposito’s hand and Esposito tries to pry off Ryan’s wedding ring.] JE: It’s not coming off. It’s like it soldered itself onto my hand. RC: Maybe it’s possessed, you know, like some kind of cursed object from a Stephen King story. KR: How can I tell my wife that I’m not wearing my wedding ring because I lent it to Esposito as an experiment to see if strippers would flirt with me? [casle looks blankly afraid & esposito cringes] Maybe she’ll see the humor in it. ((XD)) [Castle and Esposito exchange a look.] RC: Not a chance. JE: You’re a dead man.

ALEXIS MY BELOVED Dad! Work! Boundaries! *Lanie hits alexis with the file in pride*

Poor Martha : ( Ooh man has a croissant Castle & his silly accent

True, there is a professional relationship that has boundaries between like friendships & employ. He's all sus acting like he can solve the murder. How do you know that? (Man must sleep on his back or front, you can't be on your side w/o a pillow, I personally need three things. One under my head, one under my waist to keep my back straight, & one between my knees to keep my hips & therefore back straight.) Oh, aha, he really is smart! They really left a pillow? & nobody looked into the murder? The poor man looks so afraid & sad.

Do they know it's you-know-who yet? Oh yes they do lol Why would you just throw the gun in the trash? & leave the silencer on? Those things are pricey. You should have, idk, dug a hole in the ground (concrete?) & buried it. I mean yeah that sounds even to me. Pretending to be someone else & having killed someone else... yeah that sounds even enough except you already killed someone so who cares?

True. Broken dreams does not mean your life is crap. Lanie the dancer became Dr Parish, I had wanted to be in a band or smth or do a million other things & I'm looking to become a culinary teacher...

Beckett was in a prelaw course but that's boring af, she could have done anything, she could have been a lawyer doctor cop or teacher, or she could have become an astronaut a chef (her hours prove it) a film director a volunteer manager a politician a carpenter an electrician a baker... then again I listed a bunch of trades which are not befitting of a girl like her.

[40:30, INT. PRECINCT, BULLPEN - NIGHT] [Esposito grunts as he attempts to pull off Ryan’s wedding ring.] JE: Ah, it won’t— Yeah, you know what? [Esposito checks his watch.] JE: Ooh, I’m late for my stripper date, man. ((meaning ryan let him "pick up honeys" without taking off his ring)) [Esposito gives up and starts to leave.] KR: Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I cannot go home again without that ring on my finger tonight. My couch has a loose spring. My back-- ((lmao I love how Jenny made him sleep on the couch. I hope he said he let esposito try it on & did NOT say it was to see if strippers would flirt with him)) KB: Hey, did you try soap? JE: Yeah. KR: Yeah, that was, like, the first thing we did. RC: Cooking spray? JE: I didn’t think about cooking spray. KR: Where am I gonna find cooking spray? KB: Here. [Beckett takes out her lotion and puts some on Esposito’s finger. Esposito rubs the lotion in around the ring.] JE: It’s like silk. That might work. Oh, yeah. I think it’s coming. ((Why are you pushing the ring off instead of pulling tho? That's why it does what it does)) KR: Yeah? [Esposito grunts as the ring audibly (lovely fake sound) pops off and bounces across the room. Caskett look at him. Esposito cringes. Ryan looks at him] ((Makes me think tho, how did the actors play this? Is it like Mime? Or was the ring actually just slightly the wrong size?)) JE: At least it’s off my finger. [Esposito leaves & then starts running away just in case and Ryan rushes to find the ring.]

"Inches" of column space that you should let me know (not whore him out) RC: “Be kind.” For you, Mother… I can be kind. HE REALLY DOES LOVE HIS MOM. (This is how I feel about sweeping at work. "For you [only my second real job & low on the totem pole]... I can sweep the floor." I really really genuinely hate sweeping, it is embarrassing & I'm slow & bad at it & how can you be bad at sweeping but I AM & it's awkward to hold & there are people in the way & it reminds me of hockey which I dislike... ugh I hate sweeping so much)

anyway I love that sweet sweet ending of love

& as always, thank you https://scriptline.livejournal.com/63245.html live journal transcript for being here

[wikiangela]

finally getting to Lone star 4x09 😂 I've been watching the episodes days late recently lol

(but 4x09 - BEST episode this season so far hands down, and possibly one of my faves ever, it was so fucking good)

thoughts and spoilers under the cut

aww Marjan's coming back??? yaaay I'm so excited 😍

idk why but all the joking etc in this scene feels kinda awkward and cringe and lowkey almost forced...? 😂 idk, maybe it's just me, it just feels weird 😂

awww Marjan is such a good person fr, she cares soooo much 🥺 she's amazing

ngl I didn't think we'd stick with the Grant and Kiley storyline for more than one episode, but it looks like he's... going after Marjan or something? 😬 it's exciting but also worrying (and I just realized I either didn't watch the promo or forgot everything about it bc I have no idea where we're going 😂)

Owen freaking out about the party is so funny lmao - I'm gonna say it once more: Rob Lowe is SO GOOD in comedic roles

oh shit Marjan 😱😱 and she was in the car that caused that family to crash oh my god 😱 oh I feel so bad 😰😰

and of course Grant is fine 🙄 I really want him to die tbh

seeing Marjan like this is literally making me tear up 😭 she's such a good person and this is what she gets for it, that's so not fair 😭

oh my god Mouse is the only one who survived?!??? 💔😭 are you kidding me, I wasn't prepared to be hit in the feels like this tonight oh god - and she's blaming herself noooo baby 🥺😭

I'm crying - they gave me a hurt Marjan and a little girl who just lost her best friend, and they broke me 😭

thank god they all know Marj so well and are so worried - and thank god for Grace always being the best 😭

I knew it was gonna happen but it still surprised - RIP Rick, he was just trying to help jfc

Grant needs to fucking die, get his annoying face off my screen 😠

OH SHIT and she got shot too???! don't fucking do this to me oh my god 😭 I cannot handle this

Mouse is fucking awesome, I'm praying she doesn't get hurt (and that Marjan will be fine)

my hear is breaking fr, my poor Marjan 😭💔

this episode is fucking good

the best this season so far, hands down

Marjan's a damn hero and they need to save her 😭😭😭

and, again, Mouse is fucking amazing fr

oh my god they're so close to her!!

they came for her and they're so close and she hears them and I'm fucking crying 😭

omg she has the flare gun is she gonna use it?!! YAAAAS!!! SHE KILLED HIM!! THAT'S MY GIRL! ❤️😍😍

omg is Mouse not really there??? did she die? what the fuck??? oh they got me with her fr

okay, I need to take a moment for Carlos in glasses and TK sleeping while hugging Carlos' arm because that's too adorable 😍 😂 look at them 🥺😍

wait what the fuck, so Mouse and that family were never in this car crash?! why are you messing with my emotions like this oh my god

oh my god Mouse was Marjan

oh my god

this makes it so much better and so much sadder

oh my god what

I'm literally sobbing 😭

her mom calls her mouse 😭😭😭

OH MY GOD THAT WAS SOOOO GOOD!!!

Mouse was Marjan!!! (lowkey crying bc she still feels guilty for that crash 😭) that was a twist I didn't see coming but it makes so much sense oh my god

it was Marjan's episode Natacha did an amazing job fr - I was a sobbing mess by the end of it

I love how this episode finally felt like they're all a family, you know, planning the party bc Marjan was coming back, and immediately knowing that something's wrong bc not showing up or not having her phone on is so unlike her - they know her so well 😭 - and they all worked together to save her and it was amazing

and Marjan!!! she basically saved herself, while barely able to walk, bleeding from her head and then after being shot???! she's so fucking strong and badass and amazing

(and I said multiple time that Mouse was amazing, which means - Marjan is SO fucking amazing)

and I love that we got at least a little bit of her backstory, about her family dynamics, with her parents not coming to her games etc (while Tommy sat through three hours of ballet, bless her soul, ballet sucks 😂)

I need an episode like that for every single one of them (but maybe with less near-death experiences pls 😂)

I literally loved it SO MUCH - it might be one of my faves episodes of this show ever tbh, so good (and to think my stupid ass wanted to drop this show two episodes ago wtf bitch lmao)

it was amazing, I need time to process lmao

[salthien]

ok this was written very specifically with ffxiv raiding endgame in mind. under a cut bc this got long. also isat spoilers

initial notes - this is a modern no-magic(? maybe idk i didn't think about craft magic in this context) AU so sifloop are a system! I am a singlet but have had friends of varying degrees of closeness who are systems and have shared a lot of their experiences with me, so my understanding comes from there + my own research.

Siffrin - longtime solo player, completely fucking silent in roulettes, talks the bare minimum for organizing strats in raid pugs (prefers jp strats of 'call your location' diagrams in party chat and no chatter otherwise) but plays their class really strangely well for a person who doesn't have a static. Gets picked up by Mira/Isa/Odile in PF, and after they pull some really incredible clutch save on a pull gone bad Mira asks if they want to join their tiny static (but it's fine if not!! she's just offering because it seems like they're at a similar prog point! but she's sure they have other groups to choose from since they're such a great player!!!!). Wants to play a healer but is too anxious abt letting groups down; eventually picks up AST and he and Mirabelle become really scarily mindmelded cohealers who are really good at the 'the only hp that matters is the last one' mindset RDM = NIN >>> BRD (all for utility/usefulness) later AST. Probably a M miqo'te made to look like himself.

Loop - same account as Siffrin (bc why pay for two), has their own character. Plays less than Siffrin bc they're less interested in the non-raiding aspects of the game. DPS, probably prone to greeding when they think they can get away with it, slightly prone to tilt and once they start tilting it only gets worse, because getting frustrated makes them play poorly which in turn makes them more frustrated. Does not raid with the static until Siffrin is having a bad day and lets Loop front during raid time after telling the static "hey can't play tonight, but I know someone who can sub in for me". and then Loop 'mic broke' types their way through one raid night. And then another. And then several more over the course of a few months until the rest of the group is like 'hey do you both? want to be in the static? you don't just have to raid when you're subbing in for Siffrin'. they eventually manage to explain The Situation but not without serious 'christ oh no oh my god they're going to think we're Weird' stress. spoilers: it goes fine SAM/BLM. Fantasia addict.

Odile - Probably an XI veteran. Plays all roles really well, likely has at least one or two pink parses on her favorite classes. Used to world first race/make strat guides under a different name, dropped all of that when top 0.1% static drama became more frustrating than it was worth. Joins Mira/Isa's PF for an evening during new tier prog and finds the two of them surprisingly agreeable for the sea of rage that is early patch PF. Tired of the salt mine that is party finder prog, so she offers to join their Two (now three) Person Static. Once she figures out just how much Isabeau is playing dumb she has him set up a theorycrafting channel in their static discord and they talk numbers and openers and NA vs EU vs JP strats at each other while everyone else is like "i'm not fucking reading all that. congratulations or sorry that happened i guess" BLM/SGE/DRK all-rounder. SGE for inital prog, when both sif and mira start healing in prog she gets to go BLM. F Duskwight elezen?

Mirabelle - Friends with Isabeau since before playing, got into the game before him and dragged him in. Ended up following him to progressively more cutting edge groups because she wanted to see what raiding was like. She's good, but struggled initially with anxiety/in the moment decision paralysis and suffered under bad raid leads until she was kicked for underperforming (turns out if you have to Verraise people multiple times in a fight because they're greeding and then blaming the healer when they die, your parse tanks and you get blamed despite it Not Being Your Fault!). She's technically the leader of the current static (owns the linkshell, made the discord) but it's honestly a co-lead situation with Isabeau. Similar nervousness about healing as Siffrin, but picks it up a lot sooner and starts to enjoy it. Started as SMN, picked up RDM as soon as she could. Once she starts healing, SCH/WHM. Not sure what race she'd pick (waffling between 'humans are underappreciated' and 'girl that canonically loves monsterfucker books') but whatever her character is, she probably has an entire lore document for them.

Isabeau - was good enough to have done world first racing at one point, but interpersonal drama got to him much more quickly than Odile, and he got tired of guild leaders enabling toxic players. Friends with Mira since before starting to play, and when she got kicked from their hc static, quit in solidarity and decided to just pf together. Used to do a lot of theorycrafting and log analysis, but doesn't want to overwhelm everyone else/make them feel like they have to play flawlessly so only really brings it out when someone is clearly struggling. WAR. Claims he's too dumb for GNB. Is lying. (Actually likes playing a simpler class because it lets him do calls and makes him more adaptable). RPR or DNC when he has to DPS bc they have the best glamours. "but sal wouldn't he play MNK" he's too dedicated to the Easygoing Dumb Guy thing for MNK. Highlander hyur, starts off as M but fantasias to F once he's less worried about presentation. Jokes that his character went the opposite direction as him.

Bonnie - not actually part of the static; got internet-adopted by Isa and Mira when the two found them in roulettes and it was Very Clearly A Kid talking their ears off in party chat. Bonnie's not great at the game but the group does take them into previous tiers sometimes, and once the rest of the party helps them get to max level, Bonnie also does a surprising amount of consumable gathering/crafting. DRG (unsure on this one), but really spends a lot of their time ingame as DoL or CUL. M Xaela Au Ra so they can laugh about being the tallest party member.

Rest of the static (~4 slots) is probably a rotating cast of Nille (MNK main, plays with Bonnie as a bonding thing, but can't for several months bc of financial issues and only upkept Bonnie's sub, this was the time period when Bonnie met the rest of the party), Euphrasie (PLD main, inconsistent schedule so can't always be present), Claude (MCH main, high skill but greeds like a motherfucker, probably does not use PTT and eats chips on open mic, Euphrasie's partner), and. i don't know. i spent a couple hours on this and i'm losing steam now. LMAO

feel free to offer thoughts in tags/replies/reblogs/etc.! a lot of this is based on my own personal experiences with savage/ultimate raiding and the kinds of people i met in that sphere.

thinking abt an lSAT mmo au

[trvelyans-archive]

i can’t wait to be a full ass adult living on my own with adult friends and the love of my life. oh my god

[freddieandersen]

hey everyone what's cracking I never learned how to form close personal relationships in real life so instead I overshare to a few online friends, am overly familiar with online acquaintances, and every couple months am hit by crushing loneliness!

[heavenwithgyu]

locked in heaven

pairing: vernon x gn!reader (mentions reader wearing skirt once when describing the outfit somewhat but other than that nothing else!)

genre: fluff !

a/n i got this idea from tiktok lol ! i used filters to come up with the premise (forced proximity and vernon) and the rest was just me so :P also costume party bc halloween is so close and idk how long i’ll keep this writing spree !! i havent written this much in so long its crazy :)) i took the songs mentioned from seungkwans playlist on spotify so its songs he actually listens to and i absolutely adore ftisland so seeing them on there made me so happy

proofread: sorta, tumblr deleted part of my draft so i had to rewrite some which i didn’t reread

warnings: seungkwan says an suggestive joke accidentally, reader repeats it, brief mentions of drinking (reader doesnt and neither does vernon) uhhh kiss/makeout scene

Seungkwan had finally convinced you to go to one of his halloween parties, when he first asked you about it a couple of years ago, you weren’t as close so you said no.

The year after when he asked, you had already agreed to going to another friends party so you had to decline, treating him to lunch because of how petty he was afterwards. Any time you would ask to hang out a few days after the party, he would be telling you to go ask your other friends before you finally caved and told him you’d pay for him. He agreed.

This year he had asked you before your other friend even began planning theirs, spurring you on with the idea that Vernon would be there. Seungkwan knew you had the fattest fucking crush on him and who were you to say no to being at a party with your crush?

It gave you the chance to get to know him better, so you agreed, telling him you had no idea what to be. He had given you the idea to be an angel, said the halo and wings would look good on you.

You should’ve suspected the reason why he instantly knew what you should be but you didn’t, which is why when Seungkwan pulled up to your house just as you had finished getting ready, Vernon following behind him and dressed as the devil, you knew you were in for one tonight.

“Oh you guys are matching! How cute!” Seungkwan mused once he got inside, Vernon’s eyes locked onto your outfit, his face unreadable as traced up from your white skirt to the halo that you had gotten on your head with a headband and a piece of wire.

“Don’t go corrupting them!” Seungkwan scolded playfully, slight shock overrided you at his words and then he seemed to realize what he said. “Oh, not like that, oh I could’ve worded that better,” he said, his hand covering his mouth and you were giggling, walking over to the other man.

A smile on your lips as you looked at him, his eyes pouring into yours. “You heard him, don’t go corrupting me,” you repeated, his eyes widening while Seungkwan was telling you to shut up, obviously annoyed with you spurring on his misspeak.

Another giggle left you while Seungkwan was pushing you out of your house, Vernon following the two of you out and shutting your door since you were being pushed all the way to Seungkwan’s car. He was scolding you the entire time, saying how it’s not nice to make fun of mistakes, that he is soo nice to you all the time and you treat him like this.

You got into the back seat, letting Vernon have the front seat since he had been sitting there on the way to your house so all his stuff was still up there. Seungkwan was still going on about how he had done so many things for you when Vernon was getting into the car, a laugh slipping out of his lips when he realized that.

Vernon put on some music to shut him up, Seungkwan not protesting since he enjoyed the song that was on, singing along to it immediately while beginning to drive to his house so he could get the party ready.

You knew it wouldn’t rake him long, he probably had most of it set up already and just had to do a few finishing touches like scattered decorations or something of the sorts. You began humming along to Take Me Now by FTISLAND, surprised since the song that had last played was one by Harry Styles.

He didn’t live that far away from you so it didn’t take long to get to your house, the next song started to play as he pulled up. He sighed as he turned off he car, normally if he liked the song enough, he would wait until it finishes to leave but he didn’t have the time to.

You all got out, holding your bag close to you since you had never gone to one of his parties before, you were close with all the guys but it would be more than just them there. Seungkwan asked you to help him put silly stickers around, one’s that were fake blood and had writing that said ‘help me’, and stuff like that.

You were reaching up to put one of the stickers where he told you, up close to the ceiling for some god awful reason, but you couldn’t quite get it there. You looked around for something to stand on, just to give yourself an extra inch or two because you knew Seungkwan would be picky.

“Here, I got it,” Vernon’s voice suddenly said from next to you, carefully grazing your fingers to take the sticker from you, sticking it where he saw Seungkwan tell you to.

You muttered a quick thank you, feeling your fingers buzz from the gesture, it was small, it was nothing, you knew you shouldn’t be this flustered over it, but it was him, you couldn’t help yourself.

A few of the others began to come in, Minghao was dressed as a cowboy, boots and all, a smile gracing your lips at the sight because he looked funny. “Howdy partner!” you called to him, he grumbled, Seungkwan coming over and laughing.

“Seokmin and I made a bet, I lost,” is all Minghao said before he was off into the kitchen, presumably looking for the alcohol to start the night off early. He was ticked off from what it seemed, he hated losing bets, he was a competitive person by all means.

Seokmin followed in after him quickly, absolutely beaming with pride while he was dressed up as Pennywise. “Did you guys see him?” he asked, a slight giggle in his voice and Seungkwan was quietly telling him he was a genius and that he should win bets more often.

Minghao came back out with a cup in his hand, a glare sent to the two who were giggling, Seungkwan instantly trying to find something to pull him out of his situation. “Oh, uhm, Vernon! Help me with the rest of these?” he seemed to have settled on continuing to decorate, holding up the pack.

You glanced at the boy who was still beside you, him blinking a couple times while looking at Seungkwan, “Huh? Oh yeah, sure.” He walked over to the other, grabbing some and walking off to go put them places, not even waiting for Seungkwan to direct him.

A hum left you as you walked over to Hao, letting him complain about how Seokmin most definitely cheated somehow, just to see him wear this. He was planning on being Jack Skellington and had the makeup for him down but he just had to lose the bet, which he wouldn’t tell you about.

He brushed off the question both times you asked, so you just assumed he was holding onto the little bits of dignity he had left. “Y’know, you look like Woody from Toy Story,” you snickered after you looked at his outfit more, a loud sigh coming from him and then he was taking a swig of his cup.

“Whatever,” he muttered, walking off as more people began to file into the house, Seungkwan setting off towards where people weren’t to finish up and make it look like it wasn’t last minute.

You found yourself in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water, surprised Seungkwan even had them in his fridge at a party to begin with, but you were grateful nonetheless. Sipping it as you walked out towards where the party had seemed to come alive spontaneously, music, people, everything.

While it wasn’t a lot of people, it was still people, you decided to walk around until you at least found someone you knew in the slightest, seeing Chan dressed as fucking Pikachu, no way.

You sat down next to him, holding in a laugh when he meets your eyes because he can see that little glint meaning you were going to make tease him for his outfit, a quick “Hey Chan—”

He quickly cut you off, “I don’t want to hear it,” him sighing right after and leaning his head back against the couch, sulking through his yellow face paint.

From the way he is sitting, you can tell he also painted his neck which causes a laugh to fall from you finally, him turning his head to face away from you at the sound, his nose scrunching.

You reached over and flicked one of his ears to his hoodie, giggling out “You look so cute~ Makes me wish I had a pokeball to—”

“I get it! Pikachu is funny,” He exclaims, making sure you didn’t get to actually make fun of him, which sucks the fun out of him being dressed like this.

A hum and you’re telling him goodbye, making sure to call him Pikachu instead of Chan which causes him to sulk more, walking off to go find someone you knew.

You wanted to find someone who was relatively alone because everyone who you were finding seemed to be very invested in their conversations would means you wouldn’t be spared the time of day.

Another swig of your water bottle as you finally settled on just roaming around, walking through the hallway and peeking into open rooms to find anyone who wasn’t caught up in something— or someone like Gyu was. He must’ve forgotten to shut the door or something because as you peeked your head in, you saw him making out with someone.

A sight you wished you could forget but also you were glad to see because at least he hadn’t gotten any further than that.

You got into a slightly deserted part of the hallway, leaning against the wall and pulling out your phone, trying to pass the time without getting super bored in the process.

You brought your hand up to open your water but a hand grabbed your wrist instead, looking up to see Seungkwan excitedly telling you, “We’re playing a game! C’mon.”

You didn’t protest, letting him lead you to a room that held a random people from the party, a couple of the boys, and Vernon. You quickly realized what they were playing, Spin The Bottle, at least you assumed with how everyone was sitting in a circle.

The thought of Vernon spinning the bottle and landing on someone else, kissing someone else right in front of you immediately crossed your mind.

You almost told Seungkwan that you didn’t want to play and left. Almost. The little devil on your shoulder was telling you all the possibilities if Vernon spun the bottle and it landed on you, that he would be kissing you.

So you sat down, all logic thrown out the window because there had to be at least 15 people and the chances of him landing on you out of 14? Slim. Close to none.

But there was a chance.

Seungkwan set a bottle in the middle, staying there, “So we all know what this is right?” he asked, a few people shaking their heads to where he was sighing, “It’s a combination of Spin The Bottle and Seven Minutes In Heaven, makes it more fun that way.”

Oh.

Your eyes wanted to look at Vernon, to see his reaction, though you were sure he already knew that since Seungkwan probably told him before he gathered people so your eyes stayed on Seungkwan.

“Who wants to go first?” he asked, his hand still on the bottle, and for some god forsaken reason, Vernon was saying he would.

Your stomach felt like it was in knots as his hand reached for the bottle, his eyes locking with yours before he was glancing around the circle. For some reason, your breath stopped, did he want to land on you?

No.

No you were sat across from him, of course he’d look at you right now, he would’ve looked at whoever was in your spot.

After what felt like an eternity, he spun it, your eyes staring intensely at it as you prayed to every possible God you could think of to have it land on you. You were an angel, they had to help you in your time of need.

The bottle began to slow, your nails wanting to dig into your palms but you tried to act like you didn’t care who it landed on, that the idea of him kissing someone else didn’t make your heart sting.

Because why would it land on you?

You were 1 out of 14, it was stupid chances and you should’ve never played and you wanted to look away to save yourself the disappointment whenever it stopped at— you.

It stopped at you.

Your eyes met Vernon’s, relief faintly on his features but you told yourself that you were imagining it, that he was just glad to have gotten someone he knows.

Why would he want to kiss you? He wouldn’t, he would’ve done it already if he did, there’s no way he wanted to be trapped in a closet with your for seven long minutes.

You were pulled, literally, out of your thoughts by Seungkwan tugging you to stand, Vernon’s arm in his other hand as he was leading you two to a door. You knew this door, this door led to a bathroom would led to another room which wasn’t frequented.

Gulping as Seungkwan pushed you into the other room, smiling at both of you with an evil grin, “See you two in seven minutes~” His voice was sickly sweet and you wanted to pass out when he closed the door.

It was you two, in a room. Alone. At least you weren’t pressed against each other in some tight closet.

“Have you, uhm, have you had your first kiss?” Vernon’s voice suddenly speaks but its quiet, you almost miss it, but you don’t because how could you miss his voice? Your eyes meet his, his hold worry.

You decide to tease him, “No, wanna be my first?” you ask nonchalantly, his eyes widen to comical levels while he’s opening his mouth to say something, shutting it right after. “I’m just kidding, Nonie, I’ve kissed people,” you tell him after a few seconds, walking over and for some reason, putting your hand on his arm.

You tell yourself it’s to help him relax but it’s most definitely just to feel his skin on yours even in the slightest way. “That was a terrible opener by the way,” more teasing leaves you, your hand also leaving him, you miss the way his fingers twitch as he wants to touch you instead.

He laughs softly, nodding, “Yeah, couldn’t think of anything better and the only thing on my mind was kissing so—” He cuts his sentence off short, seemingly thinking he said too much with the way he’s gulping, his eyes moving between yours quickly.

He’s nervous, you can tell, he’s hard to read to most people but to you? You can read him like the back of your hand, shallowly, you can never tell the reason he’s feeling it but you can tell what he’s feeling.

Wait.. the only thing on his mind was kissing? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was he thinking of the game? Was he thinking of kissing someone else out there? Was he thinking of kissing you?

Your mind was racing with thoughts as you try to decode what he said, hoping by some miracle it’s a confession and you can finally kiss him.

But you can’t, it’s too vague, you don’t have enough to work with to come up with anything concrete. So you two are left looking at each other, words on the tip of your tongue that you want to spill out, that you want him to kiss you, but they don’t come.

Because while you’re silent, he is too, leaving you no indicator that he also wants it. So you’re left, looking at him. “Man, Seungkwan needs to clean this room,” Vernon suddenly says, you hadn’t noticed him look away and you peel your eyes away from him to look around, a laugh slipping past your throat.

“Yeah he really does, jeez,” you reply, not knowing how else to continue the conversation because all you can think about is what the fuck you should do. Fuck it. “Nonie,” you call out to him, his attention immediately on you, and you’re finishing your sentence before he can say anything, “you should kiss me.”

He doesn’t move, neither do you, but he seems to be frozen in his, not even breathing while he stares at you. “What?” he asks, dumbly, after a few seconds and you’re starting to think you’re making a huge mistake but you can’t turn back now so you’re just repeating yourself, quieter this time.

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds again and your heart is racing and your body feeling like it’s about to throw up whatever you last ate and you realize just how dry your throat is gotten and how you left your water bottle out sitting in the circle still.

You’re too busy overthinking to see him walk over to you, his hand grazing your cheek pulls you back to reality, his eyes pouring into yours, silently asking if you were sure.

You nod slightly to him, letting him know you are, your hands reaching out to hold the back of his neck and he’s softly pressing his lips against yours.

It’s barely a kiss but it’s enough to feel as though matches had just struck your skin, your hands pulling him closer to kiss him more. He practically melts into you, his hands moving to grip your waist so he can ground himself.

You swear you’re losing your mind with how strong his cologne is, how his fingers dig into you to make sure you aren’t going to disappear, how his lips mold against yours— Your head is spinning. It’s too much, but it’s also not enough, you need him to kiss you harder.

It’s still featherlight and you need to feel his lips against yours more, he pulls back to breathe, you think, or find his sanity like you need to do, his eyes still closed. “Vernon,” you whisper, his eyebrows furrowing as you call him by his name, something you haven’t done in what feels like years, “Kiss me like you mean it.”

He smiles at you, his eyes practically sparking as he captures your lips in his again, finally pressing against yours firmly, his arms moving to wrap around you to hold you even closer when that doesn’t feel possible.

Your hands move to his hair, not caring that he had it done up and slicked back, he doesn’t seem to care either because he’s even smiling against you, tilting his head more to deepen the kiss.

Lungs are aching as you both sit there, absorbed in each other, but you couldn’t care, not when he’s like this with you. His lips part and yours do the same, his tongue carefully meeting yours before the door flies open, revealing Seungkwan standing there.

“I knew this would get you two together!” He exclaims triumphantly, a wide smile on his face while you two are practically jumping away from each other, heat spreading to both your cheeks.

You don’t say anything and just look at Vernon, him doing the same and then he’s walking over to the door, pushing Seungkwan out of the room. “Five more minutes,” he says, shutting the door and then walking back over to you, arms wrapping right back around you.

“I like you by the way,” he suddenly confesses, kissing you once again before you can respond and you’re left standing there torn— to kiss him back or confess back.