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mygloviesme · 1 year ago

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cool about it. || myg

no. 5: feeling like an absolute fool about it

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 2.8k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn, lots of pining

chapter warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), mentions of mental health, grooming (not w/myg), age gap relationship (not w/myg), oc gets hurt while doing dishes so mention of knife and blood

inspo song: the gold by phoebe bridgers

FEBRUARY 15TH, 2012, 7:10PM

With lots of hesitation, I accepted Jungkook’s invite for dinner via text. Let me show you exactly what he texted:

Jungkook: kanako come over to dinner, we miss you!!!!! If you dont we’ll bring dinner to you!!!

His order caught me by surprise since we had only known each other for a short while. We’ve never even had a conversation, I don't think.

But the news had broken inside the building. I’ve avoided walking the halls ever since a trainee I’d known since my trainee days had come up to me, taking my hands and telling me:

You still have time to make this right and take back what you said, you know that right?

I didn’t reply to her, only standing in shock. Haneul was loved by everyone in the building, he was the best producer we had. He was the mind behind my biggest singles and trainees could only dream of having their first hit be made by him. He was charismatic, charming, and a social butterfly. He was the type of person you’d describe as “lighting up the room when he walked in.” He was the dream man for a young girl like me. He had this way of controlling a room like a conductor controlling a symphony. He was alluring.

The trainee, Aimee being her name, simply gave me a reassuring hug before skipping off, unknowing the damage she just did. After that interaction I slipped back into my depression. I stayed in my dorm and have only left once these past five days for counseling. Bang-PD was more than supportive of the idea of me seeing a therapist, saying it’s the least I can do.

FEBRUARY 13TH, 2012, 12:10PM

I sit in my new therapist’s office. She’s short, like me. And sort of a mess, but it’s just like me. Her name is Hana. She settles into her chair with a small notepad in her hand and a pen, just like the American movies I’ve watched.

She shuffles in her seat as she writes something down.

“Alright Kanako, how are you feeling today?” She asks, a small beam from her face. Her expression scrunches to readjust her glasses.

I fiddle with my fingers, “I’m alright. I’m glad to be here.” I reply. She writes.

“That’s good to know, Kanako. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” She questions.

I nod slowly, “I assume you were given a run-down?”

She laughs softly, “No, not really. It’s sort of complicated, but I like to hear it from my patients first. So, to answer your question, I don’t.”

I nod again, “I was in a relationship for a while. A little over ten months. We started when I was seventeen, and he was twenty-two.” I say sort inaudibly. She bobs her head, “And how was that?”

I swallow, “It was great, in the beginning. He would buy me gifts and shower me with so much affection, which was something I wasn’t used to. We would go out on walks at night so no one could see us and he would hold my hand so…tightly. It was so comforting being with him. But-”

“But?”

“I remember the first time he acted differently. It was in his studio apartment, our first night together. We had…had sex.” I dart my eyes from her direction to my hands.

“It was my first time but it wasn’t his. Obviously. The night wrapped up so nicely with him holding me for so long. I felt so safe. But…he saw a message from my phone, one from a male trainee I used to be friends with. He asked if I wanted to hang out the next day. And Haneul just…” My breath extends, “He completely flipped out. I remember being completely naked under his covers and he just ripped them off of me. He was so angry and accused me of cheating on him. He screamed, screamed, and screamed at me until I was just nothing but tears. I felt so vulnerable.”

“What happened after?” She says, writing simultaneously.

“I crawled to the edge of the bed when he started breaking down crying. He kept repeating that he was so sorry, that he would never do anything like that again. And I held him, still naked. And the funny thing is, he was in a shirt and boxers. So I couldn’t feel him. There was still this barrier between us.” I bite my lip, furrowing my brows as if that’ll make the memories come back clearer.

Hana adjusts her glasses with her hand, “Still a barrier? You had felt that way before that night?”

“I mean, yeah. He was very secretive. Like he’d toss me a bone to distract me, then run away. He planted these stories in my head to excuse why he wouldn’t text or talk to me for hours on end.”

“Do you have a story in mind?”

I anxiously clench my fists.

“He told me once he had to go back home to Busan to visit his mother who had gotten sick. I mean, it was such a serious thing I told him he could take as much time as he needed. I spent the night in his apartment before he left and he had fallen asleep before me so I was just kind of lying there. I saw his phone light up, and it was a text message from a girl asking when he’d make it to Busan. I read the rest of their messages and it was clear that he was flirting with her. I’m not sure if they had hooked up but I didn’t think so at the time.”

“Did you talk to him about it?”

“That morning, yeah. And it was just the same thing. Screaming, calling me awful names, saying I wasn’t giving him enough in bed. That I was a selfish virgin.” I say, looking out the window and recounting the painful memories. I purse my lips in a tight line, feeling that familiar lump in my throat. Hana only nods, waiting for me to continue. To be ready to continue, that is.

“And then he cried again,” I add, “In my arms. Apologizing again, saying he’d never treat that way, again. And I stayed.” I whisper in hopes to not break down.

“Why is that, Kanako?”

“Why did I stay?”

She bobs her head as if to say yes.

I remember that feeling I got that night when he invited me out to dinner. The cold, the touch, the yelling.

“For the apology.”

FEBRUARY 15TH, 2012, 7:10PM

“Ah, Kanako!” Hoseok says as he opens the door for me. I give a quick bow to the group of boys who wait behind him with a small grin. In my hands I hold a glass tupperware with small cinnamon sugar cookies.

Jin peers behind Hoseok, “You didn’t have to bring anything!” He beams and takes the tupperware from my hands, placing them on a much nicer plate for aesthetic. I can’t help the smile that grows on my face when Hoseok opens the door wider, gesturing me to come in. Just like last time, there’s boys sprawled out in different areas of the dorm. Some are setting down cutlery and plates, others set a hot pot down and other various foods, and then my eyes see Yoongi. Like instinct.

He’s placing pillows down the perimeter of the table, but he doesn’t look at me. I hope to meet his gaze and stay like that for a millisecond longer until I give up, setting my coat on the coat rack. I’m wearing casual clothes, skinny jeans and a knitted sweater with my hair in an, admittedly, messy ponytail. Not in a very cute way, but in a way where I had forgotten I was coming here until the timer on my oven had rung loudly in my ears.

I take off my shoes and walk to the kitchen, “Anything I can help with?” I say and tuck my arms in between each other. Nervous, nervous, nervous.

Jin plops a piece of meat in his mouth, “Nuh-uh. Sit down, please. Everyone, actually! Let’s all sit down!” He yells rather loudly which makes me flinch. He gestures to everyone to sit around the table, which we follow rather quickly. He must be the oldest with how organized he seems to be.

We all take a seat on the various pillows, eyeing the beautiful dinner that lays before us. I see Jungkook plop down beside me, and to my surprise, so does Yoongi. Our shoulders manage to brush each other as Yoongi settles down.

“Why is everyone acting like we’re going to pray?” Yoongi mutters and is the first to reach for the pot of soup. He scoops the red liquid with a deep ladle and grabs my bowl simultaneously. My eyes widen just a bit as I watch him serve me. He gives me a rather large portion and sucks in his teeth, “We have lots more so, uh, eat up. Okay?” He says without making eye contact with me. I don’t smile, not even a bit. Even though it’s really killing me not to.

His small act sends an uproar around the table, “Ah! Gentleman Yoongi. Such a gentleman.” Namjoon jokes and serves himself as well. And just like dominoes, everyone moves around, passing plates and bowls. Different boys give me various plates of food and as I turn to Jungkook who called my name, he stuffs a serving of seaweed with rice in my mouth.

“Jungkook-” Jimin bursts into a fit of laughter.

“What? She hasn’t started eating yet. Gotta get the ball rolling.” He mumbles.

I cover my mouth and for the first time in a while, smile. I laugh once, twice, and eventually my hand sticks to my mouth like glue as tears well up in my eyes. My stomach starts to hurt as I swallow the rice and try not to, well, choke. “It was that funny, huh?” Yoongi smiles as he looks at me. I turn to him and nod, attempting to catch my breath. I want so badly to stare into his eyes just a second more, just like this. How he’s looking at me now. But he’s the first to break eye contact which leaves me feeling a little lost and stranded.

We all enjoy our food together, some boys going back and forth with bits of small talk and jokes.

It’s fun watching their dynamic, observing like I’m only listening through a wall. I take bites and sips from my food every so often but I still feel anxiety rioting in my throat that makes me not have much of an appetite.

“So when are you guys debuting?” I ask, the thought only coming to the forefront of my mind just a second ago. Namjoon runs his fingers through his hair as he ticks his head slightly, he looks uncertain.

“Ah, Bang-PD says sometime next year.” He says, and the once loud table turns quiet.

I look around in confusion, “Is that- should I have not-” I say faintly.

Jimin shakes his head and covers his mouth as he swallows, “We’re all just hoping to have as much success as you had, Kanako.” He says. The table of boys all nod and I give them a warm, reassuring smile.

I set my chopsticks down, “I know you’ll be very successful, and you want to know why?” I look around the table, “Because you all have a very powerful dynamic that most lack. As long as you have each other, you’ll do great things.” I give a toothy grin.

I see Jungkook peer over to my frontal view, “And we have you, right?”

“Yes, you have me too.” I nod in agreement.

“You know Kanako, being eighteen,” Jin says, and in my mind I wince as he continues. Please don’t say I’m mature for my age, please don’t say I’m-

“It’s pretty overwhelming to deal with all of that fame. You know you don’t have to be so serious and wise all the time, right?” He says matter-of-factly.

I feel a relief rush over me and a sense of recognition. How is it they know exactly what to say?

“Right.”

FEBRUARY 15TH, 2012, 9:36PM

After dinner was finished the boys all get up to set up a sort of hangout circle. They move the table to the edge of one of the bunk beds and gather blankets and pillows while I clean the dishes, even though Jin was very opposed. You’re our guest, why are you cleaning our mess? He said.

But after a few moments of reassuring him I was just trying to do my part and help, he accepted. I look at the pile of messy dishes and sigh before dipping in, grabbing a sponge and starting. Although I genuinely did want to help, it was still a pain in the ass to clean up after seven men. I start off with the the silverware and slowly building my way up when I feel a body beside me with a rag in his hand.

“Oh, Yoongi-”

“Just drying them off.” He states.

I bob my head and welcome his help, knowing it’d make cleaning the dishes much faster. We do that for a thick minute, just me passing the dishes and him setting them in the cupboards and drawers. I feel a growing nervousness, knowing there was an elephant in the room. The whole time, during dinner, during our conversations, there was an obviousness of what had erupted in the BigHit building. It’s hard to ignore a scandal like that, but I’m just glad they don’t see me any differently. Even going the extra mile to invite me for dinner, it was a big deal I was starting to realize as I roamed my thoughts during this heavy silence. I wondered if people thought they were crazy for associating with me, if they felt like the boys were betraying Haneul by continuing to speak with me.

I wash the next piece of cutlery, oblivious to the fact that my palm had been nicked by ,what I registered later, to be a knife. I gasp and look down at my hand, “Oh shit!” I exclaim, seeing the red secretion drip down my hand. That is an unusual amount of blood. Fuck this is embarrassing.

Yoongi looks at me, then to my hand. “What happened?” He says loudly as he rushes to open one drawer after another, searching for aid. The boys jerk their head to my direction, all gasping and getting up swiftly as if I’d just been murdered.

“HYUNG, DID YOU STAB KANAKO?” Jungkook screeches.

“No I didn’t, shut up!” Yoongi cries, making a mess by throwing papers and other random objects, still searching. I see Taehyung grab an obscene amount of paper towels and he presses them down on my hand, “Hold it down, quick! We have to stop the blood!” He says and lets me hold my hand on my bleeding palm. He runs his fingers through his hair nervously, “Fuck that’s a lot of blood, is she going to need st-”

“No she’s not going to need stitches, everyone shut the fuck up!” Yoongi yells once again, rushing back towards me and removing the blood soaked paper towels from my grasp. He sprays some clear liquid on my wound, making me wince. “S-Sorry, hold on.” He mumbles and dabs the fluid with a tissue before placing a gauze on it, wrapping my hand in a bandage.

“Hyung that seems a little..” Hoseok makes a ‘tsk’ sound with his mouth and furrows his brows.

Yoongi rubs my hand to make sure the bandage is nice and secure, looking up to me with worried eyes. “Is that too tight? Is it alright?” He asks.

I chuckle softly, “Yes, although I think a simple bandaid would have sufficed.”

He shakes his head and grips the kitchen counter with his hand, as if trying to ease off.

“I’m fine everyone. It’s alright.” I say in consolation.

Namjoon rubs his forehead in stress, “The least we can do is let you spend the night.” He nods, feeling confident in his decision. I make a disdained expression and look around to the boys who are also in agreement. “You guys, please. I can make it back to my dorm.” I snicker in disbelief.

“You’re wounded! I could see your hand-bone!” Jungkook shouts.

“Okay Jungkook settle down,” Yoongi sighs, giving me a considerate look, “Just stay. It’s late. Unless you have something to do tomorrow?” He asks.

I bow my head, “No…I don’t.”

I see Jungkook dash to his closet, ripping clothes off hangers and piling them on his arms. He runs back breathlessly towards me, holding out different pairs of sweatpants and shirts.

“She gets to borrow my clothes this time.” He says, looking at a defeated Namjoon.

“Mmm…okay.” I say before the group claps and cheers. I’m shocked at how excited they seem to be, as if this was something they had hoped I would do before even coming. Hm.

I pick out a set of clothes to wear from Jungkook’s arms, “I guess I’ll stay tonight.”

click here to read more of this story!

#bts #min yoongi #yoongi #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts hoseok #bts seokjin #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts fluff #agustd #bts imagines

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effyoudumbler · 1 year ago

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Notes written when I was insane 1

I name things I like, after things I wish to understand

That’s the crux of me, isnt it. All that I like, is that which I have Desire to understand, and yet, simply Cannot. If I could, I would, and so, I wouldn’t have any reason to like that thing anymore. Tragic.

In order to every enjoy things, I have to severely limit my acuity. That, or, I have to be paying attention to just one part about it I dont understand

Yeah

“

I was hunting those animals

And played my misery

But then

It turned out to be birds

Building a nest for a family

…

That is surreallity.

Why was he hunting them

Who is he

Why is he there

The only clue is his appearance

A nobody really

And

The music he played

And how he stopped and seemed

Longing, and sorrowful

Very subtle

Looked forlorn, incomplete

Staring, with a mild, sad turn of his lips

Once he realized theres no animal

Birds

Building a nest

And so he leaves

Why was I shown this

Why is this something that the man remembers

Its obviously about longing for a family

But

Its so

Dreamlike, of an interpretation

It seemed like nothing happened

And yet

In his eyes, this was very, deeply important

Yes, in his eyes….

The sad man, and the nesting roost of birds in his properties woods

So close

So far

Unobtainable

In pain

Hurt

Humans were built to worship

Poor man

When a man dies, his treasures die with him

Such is fate

All of this dream, is but a song

That takes me somewhere else

So that I can endure the wild real life

All of my endeavors

Are but love

A mechanical inclination of hunger

Desiring to… how to put it…

Be greater than even the pulse of Time itself

To be immortal

But also

Something more

To be pure again

To be pure, again

I am obsessive because I am scared

Im scared because my autism produces extra stress, and on top of that, makes stress deplenish very slowly

Im stronger than i realize

If i can be up 32 hours no sweat

Coffee sure is something

What was that garbage mother handed me long ago

It hardly worked at all

This shits the real stuff

Wow

Id have DOUBLE the time to do anything

Any

Thing

Woahhhhhhhhh

All of the things

Double double double double

I give up

And the reason is

I mask around others

So hard

Ive lost my way

And Im stubborn to a fault

Dammit

So thats how i die

I see it so clear now

I will die due to my action of stubborness

If not random chance

Refusing to admit there is a problem

Well

More so

Im so lonely

Short term gains

I cant live without it, I say

I say

Whenever have I proved

Witgout confidence

There is no future

I cannot keep masking

But

I dont want to be weak

Vulnerable

Why

Youre obsessed with that

Without confidence

There is no future

I just

Without money

I feel no confidence

Forced to talk

To leave

I feel no confidence

I cant trust my family

I dont want to be weak

I also have a burning curiosity

When i was younger i wouldnt have minded being weak

But not anymore

Weakness gets you worse than death

Loneliness

…

How can i do work when im starving

How cqn i eat when i have to cook

How can i cook if i have to clean

How can i clean when people wont help

When everything is so ugly

Then i have to shower

And defecate

Tsk

You are a person who must fold to Anxiety

Think of this

Once anxiety hits you

You should do everything you can

To obliterate it

“But then ill get new anxieties”

So what

They were always there anyway

Whether or not you tried now or later

You must tackle anxieties

The moment they appear in your head

You are where your treasure is

If my wife worked at like

Some shitty job hauling plutonium

Damn sure I’d go there with her

Just to be in the surrounding vicinities of her

Its what I feel must be done

I want a wife who wants a helicopter husband

Cringe

Sigh

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dutchwinter · 1 year ago

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8 17 51 54 btw

8: Top 5 favorite female vocalists: YEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. okay im just gonna list in no order like every female artist/band i can think of rn. sleater-kinney, le tigre, bikini kill obviously are just some bands i like. i need to get into more of that stuff i just. havent yet lol. poppy, kayleigh goldsworthy, olivia rodrigo kashii moimi isnt a vocalist but shes a vocaloid producer and well i like her music. there are a lot of female artists/bands who i li ke one song from and i keep meaning to look into more like i am very obsessed with spit by kittie i am it has to be said!! and every metal song ever would be better sung by a woman love and light

17: 1st band you remember being a fan of: twenty one pilots probably? idk i have bad fucked memory and they had a really big impact on me lol. theres def other stuff from before that but FUCK if i remember it

51: Do you listen to old music? If so, 5 favorite bands/artist: no!!!! i do listen to like late 90s early 2000s but like. is that old music?? idk. is 80s music old music what do they mean old??? like how old. i spoke of dead or alive earlier and i do listen to FARRR TOOO HARRDDD quite often it is a good song and thats 80s??? idk i dont really listen to like anything past that or really anything 80s at all

54: Which bands/artists have you seen LIVE: fall out boy, twenty one pilots, idkhow, cavetown, meg myers, oliver tree, panic! at the disco. yeah ignore most of those heheh... and all of their openers i cant name rn :3c

#asks

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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

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toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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thiagodasilva · 4 years ago

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so @knivesareout tagged me in this (back in like Dec I think omg im sorry) and I honestly cant remember the last time I did this and I think this year is my 10th year on this site (dear god) so here goes!!

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

Name/Nickname: Emily/literally whatever way you can shorten my name has been a nickname so...also Elimy (shoutout to groupchat typos)

Gender: female, She/her

Star sign: Pisces

Height: 5′0 (lol)

Time: 10:38 pm

Birthday: March 4th

Favorite bands: The Maine, Paramore and Young the Giant are my holy trinity but if you’ve been following me for years you know there’s way too many

Favorite solo artists: SZA, Natalia Lafourcade, Vicente Garcia, The Japanese House, etc?

Song stuck in your head: Good Days by SZA

Last movie: rewatched The Place Beyond the Pines

Last show: 5th rewatch of Narcos baby!

When did I create this blog: My first post goes back to May 2011

What I post: god who knows at this point...movies and whatever else I end up obsessing over

Last thing I googled: lyrics to the song Cola by Arlo Parks

Other blogs: had a blog just for photography, but haven’t used it in a couple of years probably

Do I get asks: No lol

Why I chose my url: my URL has been related to The Maine for a good five or six years now

Following: 350

Followers: 2,158 (lmaaaoooo, lost of inactives though!)

Average hours of sleep: 5 maybe? 6 1/2 or 7 on a good night

Lucky number: ???? dont think i have one?

Instruments: percussion!! also some piano

What I’m wearing: flannel pajamas

Dream job: ideally, a director/writer/producer in film, but TV is cool too! I’d LOVE to direct in theater too but that seems even more unattainable than the other things so uuhhh

Dream trip: Scotland, southern Italy, Greece, Cuba, Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Thailand...

Favorite food: give me a nice fruit platter and im going in

Nationality: Guatemalan American

Favorite song(s): too long a list tbh sorry

Last book: finished Dune, currently reading Caging Skies by Christine Leunens

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in: just the Percy Jackson universe please and thanks and maybe Star Wars, for the Drama

tagging: @iwasrunningwiththew0lves, @msbitzy, @lilpocha, @darkeyeddreamerr, @dicapriho, and @mikes-wheelers

obviously dont have to do it if you dont want to!! and if you want to do it you can just say i tagged you :)

#i also think other people have tagged me in things like this recently but i deadass just forget and then feel bad that i took forever so #my bad #didnt tag 30 people either cause damn #anyways!!! here some things about me!! for the newbies

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vlovers19 · 5 years ago

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Hey your answer was great. Indeed eventhough tae is physically very affectionate he doesnt put words to his feelings often. Also do you think its ztrange that vmin dont do vlives alone together anymore apart from the only time with yeontan?

I'm glad you liked my answer and as for your recent question, yes it is very strange. I find it odd that two people who used to love doing vlives together just stopped doing so all of a sudden without no coherent reasons. People can only guess as to the reason why this happened but no one can really be sure. However, I might have an explanation which might seem a bit too delulu for people who want to believe that Vmin are just friends. Not me. I believe there is something more than friendship going on with them but I don't think they are dating. This explanation is the only thing I can come up with for now.

Now, we all know that Jimin and Taehyung are best friends who mutually enjoyed doing vlive together. During such times, they where always being cute and dorky, constantly role playing with each other, goofing around and having a generally good time but all of that stopped so suddenly from 2016.

We could say that they had a falling out but their relationship still seemed pretty good. We could say that they got into separate relationships but why would it stop you from having vlives together if you both consider your selves as nothing more than friends. Even if they just decided to have independence from each other, why did it start becoming a constant thing for more than three years? It would still be okay if they just had a vlive together once in a while being the best friends they claim to be. But why is it that other members can guest in their vlives but they can't do so and yet they are best friends? isn't this a bit too strange. I think something happened to either one or both of them and i think it all started with Taehyung. To me, 2016 might have started it all.

From what i can decipher, Taehyung was the one always pushing Jimin away from doing vlive together. I don't know what his reasons where but I can only speculate. At that time, Jimin seemed clueless too as to the reason Taehyung stopped doing vlive with him. He probably felt Taehyung didn't want to hang out with him anymore but could that really be the case?

Now, when they're on vlive, they tend to be a bit too immersed in each other to remember that they're actually having a vlive together. Taehyung being more level headed probably knew this but Jimin didn't. Jimin is more spontaneous. No one knows what to expect from him. Taehyung probably understood this side of Jimin which was why he avoided it all together. This wasn't how things where before but their relationship might have changed somewhat. There are instances when people who spend so much time together, go everywhere together, do everything together start to get a bit too overwhelmed with their feelings trying to draw a line between what is platonic and what isn't. This could be what Taehyung was facing at that time so he might have wanted some independence from Jimin. Yet why did he always seem like he regretted not doing vlive together with Jimin after refusing him. In almost all his vlives, he always found a way to mention Jimin's name. A clear indication that he missed him and was so used to his presence but it seemed he couldn't do anything about it. Why? No one forced him to stop doing vlive together with Jimin. It was clearly his decision.

Jimin seemed quite upset about it but after a while, he stopped complaining as though he understood the reason why they couldn't do vlive together anymore. He stopped bothering about it like wise Taehyung until it became normal not to have vlive together but the strange thing is that they always watched each other's vlives and talk about each other during their separate vlives especially Taehyung and i find it funny because he was the first one to refuse them both doing vlives together in the first place. Basically, he started it.

Now, this is where Yeontan comes in. Yeontan is Taehyung's favorite dog. He has other dogs as well but Yeontan is obviously his favorite and coincidentally Jimin's favorite as well. According to Jimin, Yeontan is his favorite pet out of all the pets owned by BTS members. There was a time he took care of Yeontan by himself when Taehyung was away from the dorm for two weeks. He has even visited Yeontan when the dog was living with Taehyung's parents.

Jimin and Taehyung had only done a vlive together with Yeontan and that was in 2018. It wasn't planned. It just happened. Jimin seemed to have wanted Taehyung's attention with something but for some reason which we are vaguely aware of, he couldn't just interrupt Taehyung's vlive which was where Yeontan came in. As soon as Jimin brought in the dog, he was allowed to enter because they both knew where they could focus their affection. Not on themselves but on the dog. Even in that moment, one could still see the flirting going on between them especially from Jimin's side. He was all over Taehyung. I think this is something Taehyung is very much aware of and it's something he tries to avoid. The first time Jimin left, he told Taehyung to meet him at a producer's office. After a while, Taehyung was still on his vlive so Jimin returned and continued playing him and Yeontan.

What i feel was that Yeontan was the only leverage Jimin could use to interrupt Taehyung's vlive because doing vlive together just the two of them wasn't something they can do. The next time they where together during a vlive was when Jimin was hyping Taehyung's song winter bear so naturally, Taehyung had to be there but he wasn't alone. He came with Hoseok. Another time was on Jin's birthday vlive but during all these times, Jimin and Taehyung's hands always found a way to meet. Apart from that time they had a vlive with Yeontan (which was something unplanned) they haven't had a vlive together in over three years which seems to me like they are hiding something.

In conclusion, 2016 was a marking point in vmin where boundaries had to be made. Coincidentally, the following year, 2017 was the time Taehyung wrote a song about Jimin titled 4.0 clock. It was a time when they stopped doing vlive together and posting selcas. It was also a time Bts was thrown into the limelight and superstardom. Basically, a lot of things changed and they probably realized that there are just some things they couldn't show to the world. It was best to keep them private. This is an odd behavior for two people who claim to be best friends don't you think?

Taehyung was the first to stop the vlive between them and after a while, Jimin finally went along with it and it has been like that till this moment. My analysis is that they probably reached an understanding between them and realized the reason why they couldn't do vlives together anymore. It could be that they might go overboard with each other there by exposing their feelings. This could also be why their selcas can only be for themselves. If not, I don't see any other reason why two best friends find it difficult to have a simple vlive together without the presence of a third party even when it's obvious that they want to unless they aren't as close as we think which we all know is impossible because not so long ago, Taehyung personally replied to a vmin post on weverse. 95z is love. Anyway, thanks for this ask. I really enjoyed writing it.

#vmin #bts vmin #vmin analysis #Yeontan #vmin vlive #vmin and Yeontan #bts #jimin #Taehyung

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rorybergstrom · 5 years ago

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𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑩𝑶𝑫𝒀 𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑨 𝑩𝑰𝑺𝑬𝑿𝑼𝑨𝑳 𝑹𝑶𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑲𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝒀𝑵𝑻𝑯 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑫 ???

hello, it’s nora again…. hitting u with another child. a south london-born softboi who deserves tenderness. has a burner phone and doesn’t use social media. does techno dj sets. plays the synth loudly through the night if u live in gorham his room always sounds like a space ship just landed. deals weed around campus on his rollerskates. hates that he can’t get new light up wheels because ana coto made rollerskating cool again. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board. this intro is recycled?? so if theres mistakes, sue me??? and be sure to like and subscribe for more unboxing content x

application.

『 FIONN WHITEHEAD ❙ DEMI-MALE』 ⟿ looks like RORY BERGSTRÖM is here for HIS JUNIOR year as a MUSIC TECHNOLOGY student. HE is 23 years old & known to be ECCENTRIC, FANATICAL, NITPICKY & DOGMATIC. They’re living in GORHAM, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ ooc name. age. tz. pronouns.

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having nice parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fit in and he didn’t want to fit in. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his safe space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some. right now is dad to one cat, whose name changes on a daily basis (identity is constantly shifting, duuuuude), but they were originally named ‘wheezer’

rory has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. doesn’t really know where he fits yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspicious of the lockwood tutors. a music snob tbh

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones, floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes: weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… is very tender and tame… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

hm now that rory has !Evolved! ig we can do hook up plots if u want but he’s not tht good at divorcing sex from emotion?? like he hooked up w teddy once n felt hopelessly inlove so..... if u want soft plots b prepared for crippling sadness.......

stay groovy XD XD

#radintro #plot with me cowards #said in a very soft and tender way. whispered. im but a small bug in a gutter.

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deltacomerade · 4 years ago

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so, i’ve been a lil confused by this since it was posted: why did the MCR accounts post about Umbrella Academy? like, okay, obviously Gerard wrote the comic and produced the show, it’s their project, but it’s strange that both the band’s account posted about it and the show’s official page tagged MCR in the post teasing Here Comes The End (which is honestly fucking great, not perfect, but great).

i know a lot of people have naturally assumed it means that the boys will make new music for the soundtrack, which if it is the case Hell Yeah Sign Me Up, but i’m a lil hesitant to believe that.

some others are thinking Gerard just posted to the wrong account on accident (which sounds like something they would do), but if they did, why would the post still be there, and then followed up by a thing for Here Comes The End? i know Gerard doesn’t give a flying fuck about social media 8 times out of 10, unless its about some cool rocks they found, but still. ((EDIT: I haven’t seen solid proof of this, but someone mentioned the reason MCR was tagged and why it posted there is Maybe because Ray is in charge of the acount, and that was their way to include him since he helped out on the song with Additional Guitars and (also weirdly) Bass, which kinda makes sense, but last i checked, or simply assumed, i’m pretty sure all the of the guys have access to the account, since both Ray and Frank posted stuff about their experiences in the band, so i’m not entirely sure about it. Also, while about as active as Gerard, Ray does have his own Instagram, so that doesn’t help support this theory.))

and some people have also said it’s just Warner Bros. wanting to get some free publicity, which definitely sounds like something they as a corporation would do. BUT Umbrella Academy isn’t owned by them, the show itself is owned partially by Dark Horse (who published the comic) and Universal, who bought the rights waaaay back in the day to make a movie out of the comic, but then changed it to a show. so it could be Them wanting to get publicity (maybe as “repayment” in a way for Dark Horse doing the Killjoys comic for Gerard and MCR or some dumb shit like that, who knows) this honestly makes the most sense out of everything else, but a lot of people, unfortunately myself included, just naturally assumed it was Gerard’s idea alone. which is a great transition into;

at the top of this Weirdness Heap (which is probably gonna be Gerard’s second solo album name. back off Moss Lord, i call dibs), someone mentioned years ago when the band was originally together, Gerard wanted to keep the two projects seperate. and, to add onto the last point, as a producer, does Gerard actually have the power to choose where to advertise the show, or are they just going along with what Netflix marketing decides to do because Netflix is in charge of the whole shebang? either way, it still don’t make a lot of sense to me.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, it isn’t the first time the MCR social media accounts were used to promote the members’ individual projects, the FB account promoted Frank’s album last year in May, but weirdly not Mikey’s work with Electric Century on either FB or IG. (again, Devil’s Advocate, there has been publicity on the other members’ Personal Accounts on different platforms and such, but not that i remember on the MCR page) ((EDIT 2: After a bit more careful digging and some assistance, i did find that the MCR account DID help promote Mikey’s new album, i just overlooked it a bit...in hindsight, i’m realizing maybe i didn’t work hard enough on this, and am kind of an actual dumbass? honestly though, this was All just a personal thoughts thing, not actually a criticism of Gerard or the band, so it doesn’t really matter.))

in summary...i honestly don’t know. like, obviously Frank, Mikey, and Ray knew about it ahead of time, they showed and voiced their support. and honestly, i fucking love how they all support each other with their own projects, its kinda sweet. (and yeah, i know some douchehole is gonna chime in with “Free Money”, but I DONT CARE THIS YEAR IS A FUCKING CESSPIT GIVE ME THIS ONE THING) and also, while i know they aren’t a perfect person, and they’ve acknowledged that themselves, i really truly firmly don’t believe Gerard did it to be selfish and abuse their power as the band’s leader to make a quick buck. while they obviously need to support their family, Gerard still does their best to stand by what they believe or oppose what they’re against, including selling out. i know some of you would disagree and think i’m just stupid, but i stand by that.

in the end the best answer may be the simplest one; since the virus started, maybe the band didn’t want the account to be stagnant until the tour starts up again, and thought they would use it to support each other’s work. it’s honestly possible once they start posting things related to their own work collectibely rather than just as individuals, they could just take both posts down.

[ So Bottom Line Here Is Don’t Go And Try To Bully, Accuse, Or Make Fun Of Gerard Again Of/For Something As Asinine As This, It’s Literally Not That Big Of A Deal, They’re Both Things They’re (G) Passionate About You Shitheads] (i’m not saying Stop The Memes, cuz i know that most of them are not made to be mean-spirited and some are honestly a lil funny, just...Dont Be A Dumbass, thats all i’m saying)

like i said, i dont know, maybe i’m overthinking again? it’s not a huge deal, i’m excited for the new season and for whatever things the Emo Gang summon in the future after this hellhole of a year blows over, just my two cents.

#my chemical romance #mcr #gerard way #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua s2 #tua

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mrssquirrel · 5 years ago

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i just want to know, do you dream of me too?

Pairing: Straykids Han Jisung x Y/N

genre: school au ; friends to lovers ; light angst ; fluff ;

Summary: It was like these old stories. About a girl falling in love with her best friend. Who would have known that everything changes with him leaving for his dream but coming back into her life by coincidence.

Chapter word count: 918

*Masterlist*

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prolouge

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

-y/n pov-

It was like these old stories.

Jisung and I were friends since kindergarten.

We were always together.

Like you could always find the one by the other, thats how much we really loved being around each other.

As time passed by, Jisung developed a huge talent in producing music and singing and most of all he was an Ace in rapping. I dont know where that came from but I supported him all the way.

Sometimes we would go to the amusement park or to the zoo or to the cinema but we would also just chill at my or his home and I would listen to him producing or recording his music.

He would be like "y/n listen to this new melody I made the other day, How does it sound to you? I want your opinion on it" , and so on.

So, after some time, he met some guys (their names are Chan and Changbin) and they called themselves 3Racha. They were always producing amazing music together (like holy chicken nuggets amazing music). But that doesnt mean Jisung wouldn't managed to spend time with me of course XD.

Since the boys were older than him, they were attending this one special academy. It's like a 'high standard' school, where you learn how to better sing/rap, dance and how to produce songs.

You can only be accepted if youre rich or really talented. So Jisung really wanted to be accepted there by his talent, since so many well-known people graduated at this academy. That's why he trained dancing, singing and rapping, and producing music all day long.

It really was his dream to get accepted there, even though it's 3 hours away from here and he would have to stay in dorms. I know I would miss him like crazy, hes like my one and only friend. Well, I know there are the other guys, Chan and Changbin (I got to know them better but they would be there too). I would be all alone, but I never told Jisung that since it was so important to him.

A different reason why a part of me doesn't want him to leave is that I have a huge crush on Jisung since elementary school (obviously I didn't tell him that like why would I tell him that?!). But I guess he would never have these feelings for me, he is so popular, he's getting confessed like so often, its crazy.

Jisung knows that I like music but he doesn't know that I'm also interested in actually making music.

Every time when I watched the boys producing music and making songs, it fascinated me. I really love singing and by spending time with Jisung, I learned a bit of rapping (no lessons from him obviously ,sometimes I ask Changbin and Chan who got really excited to help me). I also managed to write a few songs, which Jisung never knew. They're all in my little note book, which I carry with me 24/7, it's kinda like a diary to me cuz I write there all my thoughts, lyrics and melodies.

I started to really love writing songs and I would love to be a song writer one day, but my self-esteem is lower than the lowest sea.

I also never told Jisung that I like writing songs or that I actually wrote some. Since he would make me audition too and because of his personality he would wanted me to make it to the academy, even more than him. Since Jisung would do anything for his friends, even if that means he has to step back for his dream.

That's the main reason why I didnt tell him that, cuz it is his dream and I dont want to interfere there.

Also, even if I wanted to go to the academy, I couldnt. My family has not much money and I dont have the talent like Jisung. Thats why Im keeping it to myself and support Jisung with all of my heart.

One day, it was the day of the audition. Jisung went with Chan and Changbin to the place. I was so sad that I couldnt go cuz I had to babysit the twins, but the other guys kept me updated through messenger. It was a rough and nerve wrecking day for all of us.

But like a week later Jisung got a letter from the academy and this little jerk pranked me first by saying he didnt pass, I was so shocked and was ready to fight everyone there, thats when Jisung bursted out of laughter and said that he got accepted. Well now I was ready to fight him for giving me such a heart attack.

Even though he was so happy since his dream came true, was it a nightmare for me, but I put on a smile for him and I was really happy ......FOR HIM.

The departing day came, Jisung and I had to say goodbye "Its not a long goodbye, Ill come back and visit you in my holidays of course", "Well just dont forget me, when you're famous", I said jokily. "How could I forget you, you're my best friend and my biggest supporter y/n, remember, we will text and call everyday" , he smiled at me.

I have to say, he said this with so much confident, I really believed that. At first. We hugged and he drove away and I still never told him my feelings.

#fanfic #stray kids #hanjisung #stray kids fanfic #jisung fanfic #han jisung fanfic #straykids fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #music #jisung #3racha #jyp

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gotatext · 5 years ago

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hello, it’s swamp witch nora again…. i couldn’t stay away.... hitting u with a tiny baby boy who is also terrible (sometimes). musical softboi who loves karl marx and hates children dying in cobalt mines to make smart phones. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board, have a peruse. fyi sorry for those of u who have read this intro a thousand times i literally.... can never b bothred to change it n i think thats really sexy of me x

CHARLIE PLUMMER / DEMI-BOY — don’t look now, but is that rory bergström i see? the 23 year old music student is in their junior year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be whimsical, impassioned, self-indulgent and nitpicky, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he / they will make a name for themselves living in griffin street. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. rory don’t really know where they fit yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all!! slippin out of his physical form into the spirit realm! isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but currently feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

occasionally deals weed n pills when strapped for cash, but only 2 ppl he knows, and on a very small scale grass-roots level!! (so its ok???) rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car. we love to see it

aesthetics: bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and drumming into blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, watching vine compilations until your eyes turn square, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… has never hooked up with anyone… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

actually i think rory had sex w delilah in the last version of this rp so if u want a hook up plot its possible just unlikely. they’d hav 2 be the driving force i reckon cos rory doesn’t really act on impulses like desire or anythin.... jst bottles that shit up !!! but yea we could do a spicy hook up plot maybs, depending on the person

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

#tw drugs #tw ocd #tw anxiety #HUNTINGTONINTRO

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kyliehorsegirl · 6 years ago

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Don’t Be Afraid of Me (Michael Langdon x Reader) REQUEST

A/N: I’m sorry for the delay on some of your requests. Work has been crazy! I want to make sure I dont rush the stories as well. Hope you guys enjoy.

Requested By: @dontblinkangelsinside ‘During the time of murder house Michael has a friend, she finds out about his powers and thinks they are cool at first, then she finds out about him being the antichrist and leaves. Then during apocalypse they meet again’

Warnings: None really

Word Count: 1904

*************

After Constance died, Michael was sad and lonely, most of the spirits in the house wanted nothing to do with him. Ben tried his whole father thing but Michael needed more. He met Y/n right before Constance killed herself. She was a young girl in the neighborhood that he was drawn to. He never had friends before.

He would follow her around like a lost puppy that needed comfort. She was happy to give it to him. Her home life was nothing special, a burn out dad and a busy working mom. Y/n basically had free reign to do what she wanted. She spent a lot of time with him, but she never picked up on the weird behaviors. He always wanted to bring her dead things, but he managed to keep that at bay, at least with Y/n. It didn’t stop him from gifting his grandmother with carcasses. She started to notice all the roses in the garden, but never mentioned it.

He really liked her. He wanted to show her who he really was.

“Don’t freak out ok?” He said one day, they were outside hanging out when he revealed on of his powers. He made fire. She was scared at first but thought it was super cool. Over time he showed her a few more things he learned how to do. Michael had ways about him that seemed innocent and childish. For the age she thought he was, she found it odd.

After Constance died Michael chose to stay at murder house, waiting for her ghost to appear. Ben showed up, explaining how that wouldn’t happen. Ben did however, take him under his wing. Michael graved the parenting, the attention, the love. Y/n had walked up the steps of murder house, hoping to find him. He beamed up at her as he opened the door, welcoming her in.

He gave her an innocent tour of the house. None of the spirits showed themselves to her. Ben allowed her to see him, he felt like Y/n was good for Michael. Y/n had seen the interaction between Michael and ‘Tate’. To say it was awkward was an understatement. Y/n was extremely uncomfortable as Ben held back Tate as he screamed obscenities at Michael.

“I just wanted to be like you dad.” Y/n had never seen him so vulnerable. He looked so broken hearted. Tate screamed at him, saying Michael didn’t come from him, that he couldn’t produce such an evil bastard. Ben escorted Tate out of the room as Michael launched himself onto his bed sobbing.

Y/n approached him with caution, placing a comforting hand on his back. She rubbed his back as his body shook, crying. She hushed him as he cried. He moved to lay his head in her lap. All she saw was a broken little boy.

Y/n and Michael had to hide when a couple purchased the house. Michael had disappeared somewhere without warning. She quietly looked around for him. She rounded a corner to see a man in a rubber suit standing in front of the couple. Their screams echoed loudly through the empty house. Y/n watched as they died right in front of her. Ben appeared, yelling at the rubber man. He took off his mask and revealed that it was Michael. Y/n clasps a hand over her mouth.

She saw pure anger as his eyes rolled back, the couple had become spirits like other occupants of the house. Michael turns his hands out as the spirits burned to ash. He made them cease to exist. She was shaking, scared for her life. Ben screamed at Michael, saying how he shouldn’t have helped him, it was a waste of time.

Michael collapsed by the couch and cried. Feeling for him, even though she shouldn’t, she came out from around the corner, approaching him carefully. He looks to her with tears in his eyes, they show relief?

“D-don’t be afraid of me, I’m not going to hurt you.” He stuttered out. She slowly kneeled beside him and wrapped him in a caring embrace.

She was always cautious around him, watching his every move. He wanted her everywhere with him, with him at all times. She became a bit more uncomfortable when he begged for her to sleep in bed with him. She consented allowing him to nestle himself in her curves. From behind, she wrapped her arms around him, his head resting on her arm. He was so vulnerable, she couldn’t help but hold him like the little spoon he was.

Everything seemed fine, they were getting along well, Michael had gotten very clingy with her, holding her hand, playing with her hair, nuzzling into her neck.

The Satanists came, and that changed everything. Three people came into their home unannounced. Y/n and Michael descended the stairs, holding Y/n’s hand. They both were rubbing the tired from their eyes. Y/n squeezed his hand tighter, getting nervous at the intruders.

They were babbling about how they have waited for him and he was their Lord and Savior, son of Satan. Y/n was scarred and wanted to leave. He held onto her hand too tight, causing her to whimper.

They had set up a sacrifice alter. Michael was in his boxers, covered by a cape. Y/n stood in the far corner of the room with a sickening feeling. The strange people brought a young girl and tied her to the table. Y/n’s face scrunched up in fear and disgust. The leader kissed the girl before plunging a knife into her chest and removing her heart.

He offered the heart to Michael, he grabbed it and brought it to his lips. Y/n’s eyes go wide as she sees him take a bite of the young girl’s heart. An ominous figure shadows behind him. The Satanists bow to Michael praising ‘Hail Satan’ over and over.

Y/n packs the few things she kept at murder house in an effort to flee while Michael was distracted. She should have seen this coming. The powers, that couple and now this? It was too much for her.

“Where are you going.” She whips around to see Michael looking innocent as ever as he cocks his head at her. She almost gave into him, almost.

“I can’t be here anymore Michael, I’m leaving.” She threw her bag over her shoulder and looked at him. Her eyes grew puffy, trying to hold in her tears. She was afraid to leave him alone and afraid of him.

“You can’t leave me.” He took a step forward, his voice shaky.

“I’m sorry Michael.” She ran past him and left the house. He screamed and fell to the ground.

*Several Years Later*

Y/n was dragged out of her home kicking and screaming by guards dressed in all black. She was shoved into a military vehicle. Scared out of her wits, she wrapped arms around herself comfortingly.

She was roughly taken out of the car after being forced to wear a hazmat suit. They hosed the radiation off her. She was greeted by a chaste woman, Wilhelmina Venable.

A few hours later, she was dressed head to toe in Victorian attire. She could barely breathe with the corset on.

She met the occupants, some very odd people. She was a purple, what she had learned was these other people, aside from a boy and a girl who where yanked from their home like her, paid their way to be here, $100,000,000 that is.

Days went on and on in a never-ending cycle, the same song, the same gelatin dinner. She would talk with Emily and Mallory, everyone else was, drama.

One month.

Three months.

Six months. The same songs, the same food.

One year.

18 months, 18 months later. There was a perimeter breach that caused an uproar. Emily had demanded Ms. Venable to tell them who was in her office. Soon after, during their time in the sitting room. A regal man presented himself. He walked slow and menacingly. He was dressed in black Victorian clothes, his hair long gold locks. Y/n only saw the back of his head, wondering who this mysterious man could be.

He looks to Venable, excusing her from her spot at attention. It wasn’t until he fully turned, Y/n knew exactly who he was.

“My name is Langdon and I represent the cooperative.” His voice was deeper, more confident and authoritative. He wasn’t her scared, innocent boy anymore. Did she do this?

His face was mature and strong, it had hardened over the years. His eyes were accented with red eye shadow. It hid his beautiful blue eyes that she remembered. Her heart was caught in her throat.

He spoke confidently as he had the attention of everyone in the room. He would make small lances to Y/n, causing her to clench her jaw with anxiety. She didn’t know how to feel, he was obviously more dangerous than when she left him. Was this her fault?

He explained how humanity was at the brink of extinction, but there was a place he could take people to repopulate. Most questioned were answered with a harsh ‘classified’. He explained how the interview process would only take a few days and if anyone refused to interview, they could die.

Gallant volunteered as tribute. Y/n watched as each person went in for their interview. Her knee bounced up and down with anxiety. Did he remember her? Was he going to kill her? All of the questions ran through her head before someone came to bring her to Langdon’s office for her interview.

She hesitantly walked through the door seeing him seated in a chair by the fireplace. His ankle atop his knee and his head rested on his hand. He watched her intently as she entered the room. She stood by the chair across from him, unsure of what to do.

He stared at her for awhile watching her intently. He got up and took a few steps to get in front of her. She held her breath, looking in those eyes she remembered. She gasps as he pulls her into a hug, a hand on her waist and the other on the back of her head, bringing it to his chest. He then takes a long sigh and rests his chin on top of her head.

“I’m glad you’re ok.” His voice was a soft whisper. She lets out air she didn’t realize she was holding. He strokes her hair and runs his hand up and down her back. She relaxes and all the tension leaves her shoulders. Before she could say what she was thinking, he interrupted her.

“I forgive you for leaving me.” She winced at the subtle bite at the end. “I know we were you an you were scared, I understand. I still had to make sure you stayed safe, that’s why I had my men bring you here.” She lifts her head to look at him, his face dangerously close to hers.

“I shouldn’t have left you, I’m, I’m so sorry Michael.” She said shakily, afraid of what he might do.

“Don’t be afraid of me Y/n, I’m not going to hurt you.” He leans in an places a kiss on her lips. Things are different now, they are different now. He pulled away and held her tightly, gripping her hips.

“I’m not going to let you go again.”

************

Hope you enjoyed!

MASTERLIST

Taglist

@delicatefishtreedream @skullchik89 @wth-trippy @teenagevampirebouquet @glamorous-without-the-guilt @first-son-of-finwe @aerite @no-salvation-no-forgiveness @albeeox @shado-cat @bryandechartisasmolbean @beautifulagatha @majesticspellman @homeschool-prom-queen @the-captain-kidd @creepy-jazzy @spidey-starky @envyskitty @depressed-comics @bookwormstrawberry @scarletraine @quione3 @artisticlales @superwarsofthrones @hxdesworld @thebatshitcrazyfangirl @sexxxychiq @michael-langdon-is-daddy @justanotherdaydreamersoul @honeybun5801 @lost-in-the-stories @multi-madison @agb-random @michaellangyum @xscarlett-rosex @m-i-a-m-c-d-e-e @lustlangdon @fuckthatfeeling @frozenhuntress67

#michael langdon x reader #michael langdon fanfiction #michael langdon x fem!reader #michael langdon #Michael langdon imagine #Michael langdon imagines #ahs #ahs apocalypse #ahs8 #ahs coven #american horror story #American horror story fanfiction #American horror story apocalypse

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tidalwaveofcats · 5 years ago

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MC/APPRENTICE SURVEY!😊

Arcana MC survey! I nabbed it from Tumblr (I'm so sorry, I dont remember who originally wrote this, all I know is that i loved theirs and wanted to do one too!) and made a few changes I thought would fit my MC :>

• Name? Surname?

Uline Helmeci

• Any family?

Some cousins and distant relatives in Milova from her father's side. Her late Aunt was the last on her mother's side.

• Any familiar?

A slinky black cat named Bijou.🐈

• Asra, Nadia, Julian, Portia, Muriel, or Lucio?

Muriel and Lucio [each in an AU]

• Best strength in magic?

Evocation and conjuration

• Favorite color?

Silver and champagne

• Favorite number?

• Sexuality?

Pansexual

• Weird hobby?

She distills liquor/potions/makes perfume from herbs and flowers she collects. 🌸

• 10. Favorite season?

Winter

• 11. Favorite weather?

Snow and cool, crisp weather.

• 12. Favorite place in Vesuvia?

The forest and the Temple District. She spends alot of time in quiet contemplation there.

• How do their laugh sounds like?

Partially strained, somewhere between a choke and guffaw. It's kind of funny.

• How do they look like when they cry?

Not cute. Her voice is crackly and there's a little too much snot. She is very self conscious about crying infront of others.

• What do they like to wear?

She enjoys formal dresses on occasion but typically sticks to every day wear. Tunic, headscarf, breezy pants, etc.

• What are their fears?

Loosing memories/never regaining them. Deep water. Loss of autonomy.

• What do they like to do on Friday night?

Either visiting the forest outside of the city collecting materials or drinking homemade spirit with Asra when he is home.

• Do they use makeup?

Occasionally. She does paint on her "brows" if you can call them that.

• Favorite food?

Curry, any kind and the spicier the better.🥘

• Favorite drink?

Port wine and rose hip tea.

• Zodiac sign?

Scorpio

• Associated Tarot Card (aside from The Fool)?

Queen of Pentacles (and a tendency to dip into the Reverse in Lucio's route)

• Day of birth?

Nov. 15th

• Music genre?

(I interpret this as "inspiration"/what fits MC?🤷‍♀️) New Wave/Dark Wave

• Favorite song?

Same idea as the previous question..

Back Door- Clan of Xymox [Lucio Route... af]

Come This Far- Cranes [Muriel Route]

• What is their style?

Practical but with a little flair.

• Any mental health issues?

• Any health issues in general?

• Are they human?

Yes

• Favorite book?

Books on magic and various kinds of flora. Nothing specific.

• Favorite book genre?

Educational and romance. She tends to hide those but one is almost always on her person.

• Favorite time of the day?

Evening, as the city is winding down and things grow ethereal and quiet.

• If they weren’t a magician, who would they be?

Likely would manage an apothecary or distillery.

• Do they believe in ghosts?

Hard not to when you're dating one!

• Do they believe in aliens?

With a background in magic I would give it a strong yes

• Do they like sports?

Is fishing a sport?

• What do they look like?

Her faceclaim is singer Kelela. She has laid-back level mauve braids and shaved brows. Instead she paints two mauve points where her brows would naturally start.

• What is their biggest motivation to solve the Lucio’s killer mystery?

Self discovery and purpose, ultimately. She doesn't remember the years prior to "waking up" and it becomes apparent that they may correlate after awhile.

• What do they think of Lucio so far?

In HIS ROUTE...

At first she is wary of him, obviously distrustful. She has heard stories about him throughout the last three years (nothing she remembers personally) and it makes her cautious at first but... well. Meeting him he seemed like a puffed up idiot. And, letting go of better judgement coughimplusivitycough, she bound the goat. Currently... she is torn between banishing him or redeeming him. Either way, it'll be difficult.

• What do they think of Nadia so far?

She enjoys Nadia's company and relishes the rare opportunity to experience luxury. She finds Nadia easy to talk to, surprisingly. She doesn't understand how she ended up married to Lucio.

• What do they think of Asra so far?

She loves him. It may not be in the way he does, but it's a bond that couldnt be broken if she wanted it or not.

• What do they think of Julian so far?

He's INTERESTING and there is this weird ... understanding the longer she gets to know him. She can see why he does certain things.

• What do they think of Portia so far?

Portia is fun! Uline enjoys spending time with her, even more so when they trade a little gossip.

• What do they think of Muriel so far?

In HIS route she is very taken with him almost immediately. She has an inclination to be austere and is drawn into that mystery in others. She appreciates the layers to his personality and his company.

• Do they like animals?

Absolutely!

• Are they allergic to anything?

Milk, but she will suffer for ice cream and some cheeses.

• Do they have any talents (except magic)?

She sings well and tends to so while working.

• Do they get drunk easily?

Yes but dont tell her that.

• What is their worst negative quality?

She can be withdrawn, inflexible and impulsive. She comes off as austere to strangers.

• What is their best positive quality?

Appreciative, protective and very independent. Shes meticulous to the point it can border on negative sometimes.

• Position most likely they fall asleep in?

On her stomach.

• The most uncomfortable moment they ever experienced?

Any time she's made to suffer through dealing with anyone in the Court. The whole time is a test on her limits.

• Their happiest memory?

The first time she produced a spell for Asra. She was so excited it fizzled almost immediately but both of them were too ecstatic to care

• Do they blush?

Balefully

• Are they clumsy?

Occasionally. Accidents happen!

• Do they like jokes?

Definitely but she doesn't often tell them herself.

• How do they flirt?

With a lot of quips and the occasional touch.

• Favorite fruit?

Hami melon

#the arcana #muriel #lucio x mc #lucio #muriel x mc #fan appentice #i love this fucking game #apprentice survey

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patkiloran · 6 years ago

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HEADRUSH BY MILKK

(with my commentary as i go on listening to the album)

90S BABY

- okay the beginning is very milkk-ey - man i already love this album - i dont udnerstan anything hes saying - these lyrics are so good its like, every single line is neccessary - those backing vo c al s!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - i dont really know what to say,,, yeah me too oh my god - THAT WAS IT oh my thats such a good album opener

UNSAID - the transition from 90s baby!!!!!!!! - man pat is such a great producer he should go and produce like, ariana grande (to make her music better) - pat kiloran saying “chicks” is my kink - his voice??? in the “something should be , leftunsaid” ???? I LOVE - what i love about milkk is that you listen to a song and you just know its them because the production has so many signature elements

HERE IN MY HEAD - ok i havent listened to this yet but i feel like this is going to be an introverted anthem something like how soon is now by the smiths - this is too relatable ugh i hate it and love it at the same time - agoraphobia oh man pat i feel you - i love the groovy guitar riff its so chill but very punchy at the same time - ??? there was like a second of complete silence wtf

THINKING BOUT U - ahhhhh i obviously already know this song but i love it so muchhh - ALL MY WORDS JUST GET IN THE WAY UWU UWU UWU IVE BEEN THINKING BOUT U BABY - im bopping so hard rn i love this song - *snapping my fingers to the beat*

HONEST - i want to die to pat whisper-singing - the two founds at 0:37 sound so nice?? idk why but they do - oh my and the mines and- - this is such a great chill song, like you put it on and just lay in your bed ugh i need the cd - it doesnt even feel 4 and a half minutes long jesus

UP ON US - okay this was a single too but i dont know it that well - it sounds like a charlie puth song and i was OBSESSED with charlie puth in 2016 so i guess thats good? - THE GROOOOOOVE IN THE CHORUS UGH sometimes i really love being a bassist - idk if is counts as a falsetto but the chorus oh man i lo v e - also the backing vocals!!!!!!!!

THE GARDEN (I’LL BE ALRIGHT) - woo they put two singles in a row - the “i should’ve been an accountant” always makes me want to cry - everytime i hear “the garden” in the song im like YESYES THATS THE TITLE HE SAID THE TITLE even tho ive heard it probably 20 times by now lmao - milkk please collab with joji MEAN TO YOU - OH MY GOD THE RIFF!!!!! THE RIFF SOUNDS SO AWESOME AND SO ORGANIC - the riff is probably not that quality but its unexpected from milkk sksksk - this is probably the punkiest milkk will ever go so im E N J O Y I N G (sorry, the swmrs album also came out today lmao) - YES IM BOPPING MY HEAD - another second of random silence ??? - ooooh the random distortion at the end i s t a n

STUPID - okay yeah another single (that i love with my whole heart) - pat calling himself dumb is a mood - his voice is so soothing ugh im not saying pat kiloran should do asmr but pat kiloran should do asmr - im tapping my feet and snapping my fingers at the same time ‘tis the power of milkk

HEADRUSH - Title Song™ - okay not to be depressing again but the robot voice is exactly how i imagine oppy talking - DID SHE SAY “WELCOME TO OUR HEADRUSH” - i dont really know what to say intensifies - *insert a clip of me saying pat kiloran is a great producer* - “you dont even know who i am” oh my god thats true i really dont - that bass drop oofh

I THOUGHT I LOST YOU - AN ACOUSTIC SONG AKSJDSHDFSHJ I WASNT EXPECTING THIS AAAA - THIS IS SO BEAUTIUL OH MY GOD I AM CRYING!!! AND IM NOT EVEN A PERSON THAT CRIES OFTEN OH MY G OD - THIS IS SUCH A HEARTBREAKING SONG BUT IN A GOOD WAY - can i claim this song - THE FALSETTOS - okay im claiming this song - THIS SOUNDS LIKE ITS A CAMPFIRE SETTING - @ milkk please perform at our campfire on school trips - can my parents please stop blasting adele i need to appreciate this beauty - its so soft and gentle but at the same time so powerful

ANNALISE - damn, 6 minutes - “i think i met you on a monday, what were you wearing?” is such an adhd mood lmao i remember such dumb stuff and dates and names but my visual memory is so horrible - this is such a beautiful song too oh my god and the lyrics - i feel like time has stopped while listening to this song - how did they do that - not many bands can do this to me oh my god - the instrumental sounds sometimes like the beginning to lazarus by david bowie ugh why am i crying again - god so. so that was it. the debut full-length album by milkk. headrush. and i have no words. i love this record so so much, it makes me feel at peace but want to dance at the same time and i think that’s perfect. also i’m so proud of the boys? like i bet you, one day they’re going to become so huge, selling out big arenas and appearing on international charts. and i can say i’ve been here since basically day one

#milkk #milkk band #headrush #pat kiloran #jack vondrachek #john ogelby #oat kilogram #yeehaw milkk #indie #music #indie music #uwu

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lolbtsaus · 6 years ago

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An Introduction to Kim Namjoon

And now it is time for the wonderful Kim Namjoon aka RM aka joon bug

This post is for any new Armys out there but it’s also for people who have been around for a while, it’s an appreciation post meets an introduction post

I have quite a few appreciation posts dedicated to Namjoon, too many to link tbh but here is my official Namjoon appreciation post

Also if I miss out on something you love about him or a moment of his that you love, feel free to reply to this post with whatever you wanna add or reblog this and leave it as a comment on there, I’d love to read your guys’ personal favorite moments or qualities about Namjoon, these are just gonna be my personal favorites or things that have stuck out to me

So, an introduction to Namjoon

His full name is Kim Namjoon and his stage name is RM

His birthday is September 12th and he was born in ‘94, making him 23 internationally and I think 25 in S. Korea

I don’t really do astrology but I believe he is a Virgo, if that means anything

He is the fourth oldest member and he is a part of the ‘94 line with Hoseok

He is one of the three official rappers in BTS

I would describe joon’s rapping style as powerful

He’s got this deep ass voice and it just it’s so nice hearing him rap tbh he’s just got a s h i t ton of power in his voice when he wants to

He can also be really soft when he sings and that’s also a really amazing thing to listen to, would absolutely recommend

He and kook have done a couple songs together, they’ve done a cover of Fools by Troye Sivan, they’ve done a song called I Know, joon has also done a song with Tae called 4 O’clock, which is r e a l ly fucking good

He has also done a solo mixtape called RM

He’s released quite a few singles, some of which were from the mixtape and some weren’t

He’s released a song with Wale called Change and the lyrics in it are really fucking amazing (the video can be found on bighit’s channel)

He’s released Do You, Awakening, Joke (these can all be found on the BangtanTV channel)

He’s also been featured in a song by MFBTY called BuckuBucku, which he’s performed live with them (if you havent seen him perform it, plz go watch it bc bts were so excited in the audience and kept looking around for namjoon and got so hyped when he came out)

But his mixtape is really re a l ly good and underrated in my opinion

Namjoon is the leader of BTS and he’s a damn good one at that

You really see just why he’s the leader in American interviews

He’s amazing at encouraging the other boys to speak up during the interviews but he also knows when to step in and take over

He knows when to joke around in interviews and when to be serious about things like the album/songs and what they mean to him and the group

There’s this c la s s i c moment where it’s like a hidden camera situation and I think it’s BangPD who asks him if he’d prefer going solo or staying with BTS and without a m o m e n t of hesitation not even a second, he responds with BTS

That moment still gives me chills tbh

Now for some things joon is known for in the fandom

English

Namjoon learned English fluently by watching Friends a bunch of times

He is the only member that is considered to be fluent however the other boys are improving every time we hear them speak English so that may change v e r y soon

Intelligence

Joon has a really high IQ and he’s shown his intelligence in so many different ways

He’s obviously been able to teach himself English, which is already so fucking impressive

He’s so smart when he talks in interviews too?? like i saw this one comment that pointed out that joon’s never afraid to admit he doesn’t know what something means and that he always asks to find out

Like when someone asked him about being a heartthrob and he didn’t know what the word meant, he had z e ro hesitation to ask on the spot and find out new information and I think that’s really cool and important to note bc he’s not afraid to say hey i dont know what that is, mind explaining??

What I love about joon is that he doesn’t try too hard to come off as smart or try to boast about being smart, he embraces the fact that he’s smart and uses it to his advantage but he never rubs it anyone’s face

He’s got a really good balance of showing his intelligence and being proud of it while still being humble about it

Producing

Namjoon is another one of the main producers/composers/writers of BTS, he’s worked a l o t on their albums, there was one album I don’t remember which one but he’d literally had a part in creating almost every single song

He’s written s o many different songs for BTS

Namjoon also has started this thing where every time BTS release an album, he does a VLive and will talk about the album and sometimes, like last time, he’ll released snippets of another version of the song

So, in the last album related VLive he did, he showed what Fake Love was originally gonna sound like and that sort of insight is just honestly amazing

Dancing

Namjoon is one of the members that was not originally a dancer

With every era, his dancing just continues to get better and better and seeing his improvement is honestly so amazing

Clumsiness

Namjoon used to be referred to as the God of Destruction, I don’t see it being used as often as it used to b u t he is known for being pretty clumsy

He once almost fell over while sitting down

He’s not 100% clumsy though bc he’s actually really good at ice skating!!

A LOVE FOR CRABS

Literally just posted a video of him saying hi to a crab and is forever trying to hold them and just chill with them when he sees them he l o v es crabs and I think that’s really fucking adorable

Fashion

Joon bug has a whole OOTD series called KimDaily, which can be found on the official BTS twitter

They’re rea ll y really cute and the outfits are always just s o him like he really expresses himself in his fashion choices and I think that’s really fucking cool

Namjoon has never shied away from trying new looks, he’s worn lace and skirts and corsets and looked amazing in all of them btw

SpeAKin G of looking amazing, here are some of my favorite Namjoon looks (in no particular order)

First look is probably his purple hair

This look is from the Not Today/Spring Day era

And my god was it was a look

I loved the styling of his hair and I loved the color and the way it looked on him and I love him and I loved this look and this era

JUST LOOK AT HIM

Second look is thIS LOOK

Idk what era to put it in bc it’s technically in the Fake Love era but it’s a really recent color and is after their promotions for iT bUT

I love it okay

I can’t tell completely if it’s light brown or blonde I think it’s a really dark blonde judging from the twitter pic but on stage it looked like it could be either but i LIKE IT

Third look is this shit

Now listen I love me some namjoon but i’m gonna need him to relax with this whole look

I loved his hair during this era in general buT THIS SHIT MHM MHM THIS WAS SOME GOOD SHIT

The jacket the shirt the hair the all of it i was ready to fight someone

This is from the DNA/Mic Drop era which btw, just gonna add this gif here bc I think it’s needed to further prove my point of this being a good ass hair era

POINT P R O V E N

But that wraps up my introduction to Namjoon, make sure to give him some love and appreciation bc he is a very important member of BTS (as all of them are) and deserves to be given the same love and support as the rest of the members

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ohoshi · 4 years ago

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yess the part where johnny bumped into taeyong was cool!! ty looks so cool while performing gosh 😌 i think ive watched that nct u class performance so many times by now, im still not over it for some reason hahaha

OMG I KNOW XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT!! YES!! honestly im so glad that during nct 2020 a lot of the wayv members got to show their skills and how theyve improved (like xiaojun, hendery, yangyang) and i hope this keeps going (i feel like winwin esp couldve been showcased more? maybe it's hard with soo many members and i dont wanna be *that* fan...but he was the leader of the 90s love unit and had like 2 lines lol)

omg yes shotaro!! you never couldve known he debuted just 2 MONTHS AGO but i agree even in maw u can tell that the boy got moves! i feel so proud of him and hes so cute 😊 i agree, sign me up too for the idols who have such duality!! they were all so good (as expected)!!

WAIT LMAO SO SORRY i just fact checked myself and haikyuu actually has 4 seasons 😂 😅 there was like a 4 year gap between s3 and s4 so i think i felt like it was 2 seasons lmaoo. lately i have been more okay watching ongoing shows bc it gives me something to look forward to every week! but i usually do binge shows, which is why im a little sad that the uncanny counter is ongoing so i am forced to wait 😭 i must say though my binging skills are amazing...my one talent in life 🤣

her private life is another fake relationship kdrama (the main girl character is a fangirl and she runs a blog for her bias ahaha relatable??), and i think crash landing on you has some fake relationship things?? obviously it's not the main focus of the drama but crash landing is iconic u gotta watch, be prepared to cry tho if you get emotional watching these things like me 😭 because this is my first life was also good (i've heard some ppl get frustrated by the main guy character's lack of emotion though but i liked the writing and it's worth giving it a shot if you want!) i love the fake relationship and the enemies to lovers tropes, so if you come across any that are good pls let me know hehe

SVT yes that part in home where they choreographed like a house imagery with their hands was so cool!! the choreo is just so detailed (like i think there was a part that looked like they were opening a door bc it's "home"), i had heard svt is self produced and thats so amazing! theyre so talented and their performances are so good (the ones i've seen so far). i watched their mafia dance video for left and right and it was so FUNNY HAHAHAA they seem so chaotic i love it (also i love the mafia dances in general lol like nct dream did it for we go up). i'm going to try to learn svt's names (which i usually do by just watching crack videos about the group on youtube lmao) so stay tuned 👀 coming from nct, 13 members doesnt even seem like a lot to me anymore hahaha and i think im usually good with names so we'll see! i am also curious to see if i end up stanning dino :)) who are your svt biases??

haha yes i can understand xj/hn/lc without subtitles!! it's interesting because i think all 3 of them are from different places so their canto actually sounds a bit different from each other! but when i hear wayv speaking canto it feels so familiar bc i really only speak cantonese with my family, and it's such a weird but also good feeling and it makes me feel warm :) wayv is the unit that feels like ur close friends (whereas dreamies have best chemistry and i think i like 127’s music most? (but ofc i do actually like all the units songs hahah))

🥺yeah me too! i’m glad wayv members became more relevant thanks to nct 2020! honestly they are soooo good and they deserve all the attention! and winwin 💔 honestly i’m so happy he is in wayv now where he is being appreciated more! where he gets the lines and screentime! he deserves it 😤 of course you’re gonna be *that* fan! we’re all *that* fan 😤 the leader of the unit got 2 lines 😤 smh 😤

omg 4 year gap???? that’s a lot 😳 what for?? i guess the 4 year gap is the reason the show is still airing after all these years lmao when i saw gifs on my dash my reaction was wtf when did haikyuu become one piece what have i missed and then i googled and saw that the anime has 80+ episodes????? ABOUT VOLLEYBALL???? 😳 WILD

ohhh i see you have something to look forward to hmm that makes sense? maybe i should try it, especially since it’s most likely not as consuming as binge watching!! but yeah same, binge watching tv shows is one of my talents 😏

her private life is about a girl who runs a blog about her bias? there’s a whole kdrama about me? are you kidding me rn? never knew someone would be inspired by me or us for that matter? since we’re both just two little human beings running a blog about their biases<3 OMGGGG when am i gonna get the time to watch all of these drama 😭 hopefully really soon, but knowing how busy my college life can be (and esp rn) probs not 🤕 if i ever come across any drama that you haven’t watched already i will most likely recommend it to you!!!!

AHDGAGHFSDGH i love when idols play mafia game of any kind and i think that svt’s left and right is my favorite mafia dance ajfdshgadfshga they’re so chaotic and funny and omg vernon was so good tho?????? 😳 i was impressed bc i could never lie so well ahgdfags yeah it’s not that hard to remember all 13 of them especially because all of them are so different (i mean all of the members in all of the groups are always so different but ajdsgakja for whatever reason svt to me seemed the most uhhh versatile from the others?? like for example woozi is so smol it’s easy to remember him, and then seungkwan is the loud one, and then mingyu and jeonghan are pretty ones, joshua the charming one, sweet one, my biases are the best<3 etc but i mean THIS COULD BE JUST ME AJDGAJSH maybe i’m just too biased bc i love them so much sigh) anyways,,,,,, there’s a lot of ICONIC SVT CONTENT SO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welcome we have cookies, relax and enjoy yourself, the ride to being 500% whipped for svt begins right here, i recommend to you their pot and hammer game bc i love to watch when idols play it and svt? CHAOTIC AS ALWAYS!

OK MY SVT BIASES 🥺 ok first of all here’s a digression: usually when i get into a kpop group i have like 3 different positions, 1) love at first sight - which is the person who i’m attracted to right from the second?? like the first person i see and i’m like oh //they// kinda like the way you’re attracted to dino’s dancing and stuff; 2) first bias - which is the person i just pick for whatever reason //ok they’re gonna be my bias//; 3) the actual bias - after watching a lot of content and listening to the music and getting to know the group in general i then choose //THE BIAS// or rather the bias chooses me bc it’s out of my control i just love them whoever they are! and with svt 🥺 all of the 3 were one guy (the only other time this happened to me is w nct dream lmao) 🥺 and i love him so much! one and only: xu minghao! (aka the8) 🥰 he’s one of the lead dancers and 1/2 china line in svt and he can sing! he can rap! and boy can he dance 😭 i just 🥺 love him 🥺 my other svt bias (whom, tbh, i don’t love nearly as much as i love minghao but i still love him very much<3) is wen junhui! (aka jun) 🥰 he is the other lead dancer and 2/2 china line in svt (this is random: but i really love china line in kpop??? like idek why? i mean of course i don’t care about their nationality or whatever but i’ve just noticed that for whatever reason the ones i tend to love and bias are more often than not chinese) and i know i know you asked ‘hey cora who are your svt biases??’ and everything i was supposed to say was ‘hey santa it’s the8 and jun!’ but no i had to be EXTRA bc guess what? well I AM EXTRA!!! bc i got excited i really love them 😭 (esp minghao<3 lately he’s been my ultimate bias so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

OMG I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU RN? you can understand them without titles? lucky!!!!!! but the fact that it feels familiar and it makes you feel warm<3 is so precious<3 so cute!! so wayv feels like home? 🥺 bc you only speak cantonese with your family? this is so 🥺 i’m not crying you’re crying 🥺 teach me something in cantonese?? like?? actually, first tell me is it too different from mandarin??? and then teach me something? how do i say i love you? or hi and bye lmao and thank you? yk the basics! and i mean of course that we all love all units songs i mean!! we’re here for all the mess those 23 boys give us but!! i think i’d be biased and pick nct dream’s music<3 but i love wayv and 127 so much as well 😭

#ss20 #wo ai ni<3 #until you teach me the canto way #literally have no idea how much different they're supposed to be i'm sorry #in my country we have dialects #but it's the same words #i guess just the accents are different and some other things but #the words are the same #but i have no idea what it's like in the rest of the world #i guess for foreigners even dialects in my country could sound like a completely different language????????

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