#and number three is howdy

[novantinuum]

Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 1

[Part 1- You are here!] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]

~

Howdy! Those of you who have followed me for a while have probably been seeing my reblogs of the @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. Well, today I wanna share with you something a little different than my usual SU meta… because today I’m gonna analyze this really cool fan work with the same level of seriousness as I do canon. (Like. Seriously. This first post alone is really, really long. I put most of it under a cut.)

This particular comic is a very special one for me to watch unfold, because it’s evident that a lot of deep care and attention to detail has been poured into its creation. There’s fascinating bits of expanded character development to chew into here, as well as plenty of mysteries and lingering questions for us readers to muse and theorize over. If you follow me for Steven Universe and haven’t read this AU yet I highly recommend you check it out. The most basic pitch is that it explores what a fusion between Steven and Jasper might look like, and does a LOT of deep-diving into the similarities and differences of both of those characters’ psyches.

Here’s the episode masterpost on tumblr.

And you can find it on Tapas, too! 

(Note: For the purposes of these posts, I was given permission by the comic artist to post screenshots of various pages where relevant in this discussion. For each frame used I will list the episode and page number for easy reference. Additionally, this post and all future ones on the topic will contain full spoilers for the comic thus far.)

Now with all that introductory stuff out of the way, here we go!

__

So, on the final page of the most recent update, we get one hell of a visual plot bomb for Steven as ol’ Onyx unfuses:

(Episode 9: Page 22)

He’s now visually expressing remnants of his corruption, where before he was not.

And it’s this mysterious plot point in particular that got me wanting to analyze this comic more deeply in the first place. This is completely new for him in this story. Thus far, he’s never expressed any of these remnants when he’s just himself- not in the way Jasper does. So it made me wonder… how might this shift in his appearance play into the ultimate trajectory of the plot? How does Steven suddenly showcasing corruption scars integrate into the larger story that is being spun here about him and Jasper and how they relate to each other?

Well, there’s a lot of comic details and story lore we need to unpack first before I can take my best theorizer’s stab at this. Let’s dig right in.

__

Prelude: The analyst’s treasure is in the speech bubbles

Anyone who’s been a fan of this comic for a while has probably noticed these fun visual details already, but I’m going to take a moment to break down what I believe each speech bubble style signifies for folks who may not have context. It’ll make some of my analysis later a bit easier, too, ahah.

So. Speech bubbles. What kinds do we have here? 

(Episode 1: Page 6)

Style number one: Solid with black text

This style is standard for non-fused characters, and is also utilized when a fused character is speaking whilst in a state of internal harmony.

Steven is pink and Jasper is orange, of course. Onyx’s speech bubbles are a distinct darker pink, and the main three Crystal Gems get their own colors as well. More minor characters get white bubbles.

(Episode 1: Page 10)

Style number two: Scribbly pink lettering overlaying black text

Whenever you see this type of speech bubble, it’s a sign that there is some level of internal discord going on within Steven or Onyx that is related to their diamond side. It usually shows up when one of the two is in pink mode, but from what I can tell this is not a solid rule.

(Episode 2: Page 12)

Style number three: Pink/orange mixed bubbles

This is how we see Onyx talking for a good portion of the early comic. Their speech bubbles are a clean mix of Steven’s pink and Jasper’s orange. And most vitally, the color on the top and the tail signifies which of them is “fronting” at that moment.

(Episode 3: Page 11)

Style number four: White bubble with solid pink text

So far, this style has only been used to represent dialogue that is being spoken by Steven’s gem half exclusively. Which makes things very interesting, as in Steven’s own remembrances of shattering Jasper on the very first page of the comic, the line “I have been holding back!” is shown in this specific style, instead of the scribbly pink lettering that signifies internal discord.

There is one additional sub-style here- and this is the one moment where we get Onyx’s mixed bubble but WITH the solid pink text. 

(Episode 3: Page 11)

I believe these two styles pretty much mean the same thing… only, the white/pink text is either viewed within memory or a metaphoric fusion mindscape where we the viewer are actually “seeing” Steven’s instability, and thus can “see” his gem half as a separate entity there. While, in reality, this is an argument Onyx is having with the disparate pieces of themself.

(Episode 4: Page 9)

Style number five: Pink/orange tye-dye mixed bubbles

When you see that darker shade of pink start dappling into the standard mixed bubbles, this indicates that there are small whispers of Onyx’s true personality beginning to surface, instead of them constantly being wrested back and forth between Steven and Jasper’s conscious control.

(Episode 4: Page 16)

Style number six: Pink/orange mixed bubbles, but with a darker pink tail

From this page onwards, Onyx’s speech bubbles always have their darker pink shading the tail no matter who is fronting. Sometimes there are little lines of another color etched out of it, and sometimes the tail is solid dark pink. I like to believe that when it’s solid, it means that Onyx is just a little closer to reaching a fully harmonious state than when it’s not.

(Episode 9: Page 6)

Style number seven: Onyx speech/thought bubbles with a hint of pink/orange underlying

This style seems to signify moments where it’s still Onyx fully in control of themself and their actions/words/thoughts, but they’re taking subtle influence from their components or accessing their memory a bit.

These are all of the distinct styles I have caught so far, but quite honestly, it would not surprise me if I am missing something. All of this to say… pay close attention to the speech bubbles. They can tell you a lot about Onyx’s state of mind throughout the story.

Now with all this established, I’d like to finish off this first post with my first big discussion point.

__

Question One: What does Jasper actually know about Steven’s “meltdown,” if anything?

The AU author recently solidified this comic’s placement in the SUF timeline in an ask response, saying that the first episode takes place just a week after Steven’s corruption event.

I’m glad this point was clarified, because it was super vital information which deeply influenced the way I analyzed Steven’s actions and responses in my recent re-read… it means this experience is still super raw for him. This is VERY important and we’ll get back to this in more depth later in future posts. But first, let’s explore what Jasper knows of this event.

The full extent of her knowledge is unclear-

(Episode 1: Page 6)

In Episode 1, Steven briefly alludes to his corruption as seen above… referring to it as “[his] meltdown.” Notably, Jasper does not seem to ask any questions about this stray comment. This COULD suggest that she knows what happened to him a week prior via hearsay, but given the context of the rest of the scene and the fact that she’s as isolated as she is out here I genuinely wonder if she thinks Steven’s so-described “meltdown” is his shattering of her.

This idea would make a good deal of sense, as she doesn’t start to make any commentary on the topic of corruption at all until they’re actually fused- with Steven bringing it up first.

(Episode 2: Page 14)

On this page, Steven takes note of Onyx’s very visible spikes (which are Overtly in the same placement as his own when he was corrupted), and initiates the musing upon his own corruption himself.

With the way Jasper phrases her response, the vibe I get is that she somehow gleans a bit of ambient shared knowledge about what happened to him through their fusion.

(Episode 2: Page 15) 

“That human form you wear must have been hiding your markings.” This quote is SUPER vital. We’ll come back to this later on in this post series, too.

(Episode 2: Page 15)

It’s clear that Jasper doesn’t REALLY understand what he went through or what caused it, since she then outright mistakes the casual woes and body pains of organic life as corruption. (As seen above.) 

(Episode 8: Page 4)

But later on, she outright relates to him over their shared experience of past corruption, so she must at least know enough from mere ambient thought-sharing by this point to recognize it happened.  

It’s obvious that she’s barely scratched the surface on fully understanding her fusion partner, though. Neither of them have. It’s gonna take a lot of fusion, comedic mishaps, and genuine conversation to get there. All in good time, I’m sure.

__

Please do join me tomorrow at 7am PST for the next post in this series! This has been a blast to write up and muse upon.

[moiraimyths]

Howdy, fateful friends! Are you an artist or illustrator with an interest in visual novels?

If so: Moirai Myths, creators of the visual novel The Good People (Na Daoine Maithe), are in need of guest artists! More specifically, we're looking for up to two artists to help us with the content graphics ("CGs") for Maeve and Shae's upcoming routes. All of the details will be listed on our application form (linked below), but here is the gist:

This is paid work with 20-30 business day deadlines per piece!

Complicated revisions in the post-sketch phase are compensated!

You will be prioritized for future guest artist opportunities!

You will be featured/credited on Moirai Myths' website and in the game itself!

Sound interesting? If so, apply here:

Click under the cut for some F&Q 👇

Who are you? (I'm new here!)

Hi! We're Moirai Myths: a small, newish visual novel company based out of Canada. We're making a game inspired by mostly Irish mythology, which was funded on Kickstarter in 2023! Our game's got fairy politics, a diverse cast, a Gaeilge-to-English translation tool, and routes that can be played either romantically or platonically! Also horses. An ungodly amount of horses, really.

If that odd pitch sounded intriguing, perhaps you'd like to play our demo! It's free on Steam & Itch.io.

Why are you looking for guest artists?

When we originally launched our Kickstarter, the plan was to have our three in-house artists collaborate on the CGs in the same way our header image was. However, we quickly realized that adding CGs, even if they're done collaboratively, onto the existing duties of our artists was a tall order. Add to that the departure of our original sprite artist (who has since been replaced by our graphic designer), and we determined that having our in-house team work on CGs was simply not possible if we still wanted our first release to happen in 2024. So, rather than omitting CGs or adding them in at a later time, we came up with the idea of hiring guest artists. Overall this means our CGs will be a bit more varied in terms of art style, but we like to think of this as a positive! NDM's development will take a number of years to complete in full, so we hope our CGs will allow us to feature a lot of artists either within the VN/indie dev community already, or artists who aspire to work in gaming and are looking for entry positions.

How long will applications remain open for?

This application will be open until Sunday, March 24 at midnight (EST)! If we intend to extend past that deadline, we'll make an announcement about it.

I can't apply right now. Will you look for more CG guest artists in the future?

Definitely! As mentioned, NDM will take a while to develop in full, so this is by no means your only opportunity to apply. That being said, we suspect we're going to end up shortlisting a number of artists over the course of this application period, and we intend to keep a list of all the runners-up. So, even if you won't be able to participate this time, it might be a good idea to apply anyway just to remain in our contacts! Either way, this will not be the last time we have apps.

Will you be looking for guest artists outside of CGs?

Maybe! We already have two guest artists (Nefukurou and Madi Funk) working on sprites and CGs respectively, so it's always possible that we'll have other artistic needs later down the line. Likewise, we may also reach out to past guest artists for future work with us, whether it's on this game or something else!

You say we need to sign an NDA. What does that entail?

The non-disclosure agreement essentially means you will be legally unable to publicly disclose any confidential information you become privy to as a result of working with us. This would include personal information about the developers, as well as spoilers from the game itself. In addition do this, you will be expected to sign over the IP and copyright of any artworks you produce for us.

Can I still use my artworks in portfolios, even if I don't own the copyright?

Yes! We'd only ask, if your portfolio is a website, that you wait to do so until after your art has been made public by us, either on our social media or via the publication of the game. Our first release is anticipated to happen later this year, most likely mid-autumn.

How do you guys feel about AI? Do you intend to use it, or would you ever train an AI off of the artworks whose copyright you own?

No.

Making a game is expensive and time-consuming, but AI is no replacement for human artistry. We fundamentally believe that any advancements in AI should be used for the purpose of giving people more time to make art, not take away opportunities for it. Moirai Myths will never, ever use AI or train an AI off your work.

***

If you've got any more questions for us that we didn't think to include here, feel free to send us an ask!

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Locker Room

Pairing: Season one!Roy Kent x f!reader

Word count: 2063

Warnings: swearing (kent style), m! receiving oral, voyeurism/exhibitionism, Jamie flirting with reader, Roy’s inner thoughts aka light violence, smut 18+

Masterlist here

Jamie fucking Tartt was about to get his front teeth knocked out his fucking skull if he didn’t back the fuck down was all Roy could think about during practise. that and knocking him over the head with a heavy rope, or a rock, or his fist, or his shoe, or really anything. of course, the American didn’t see the harm in Jamie running up and down the pitch like a twat but as captain Roy wanted nothing more than to ship all three of them back on a plane to wherever the hell the cowboy came from.

the only solace Roy got during that practise was your text saying you would pick him up after practise for a surprise date. for a moment it actually brought a smile to his face. that was till he caught sight of Tartt doing his own chant, so he sent back a quick ‘love u’ text before going to yell at the knob head celebrating a fake match.

Roy counted down the seconds till he could get off this damn pitch however when coach lasso called, he decided to fall back. by making sure Roy was the last one in the locker room and showers he could make sure he was as far back from Jamie Tartt who was running like he was being chased. if only it was Roy chasing him with a big stick.

anyone who spoke to him only received a grunt in return. as Roy came back from the showers with only a towel round his waist most of the team had left. Jamie was at his locker taking his stupid tongue out selfies as Issac said a quick goodbye to him, dodging Roys gaze as he and Collin split, Sam not far behind.

Roy inwardly smiled at the way Nathan ran out the room when he walked in. when he got to his locker the first thing, he did was check his phone to discover you were already here, so he quickly let you know he just had to get changed. when lasso and beard tried to say goodbye Roy just grunted as he pulled on his jeans.

when he glanced behind him, he was grateful to see Jamie finally sauntering out the room, not even bothering to say goodbye to his captain to which Roy was thankful for. when the door shut behind Jamie Roy let out a sigh of relief being the only one left in the room.

you however had decided not to wait in the car and just meet Roy in the locker room. you nodded and smiled to all the boys you passed but didn’t stop to talk since you weren’t there for them. as Isaac and colin left the two wondered how in the hell you and Roy worked considering you were always kind and happy whereas Roy was, well Roy.

You were barely able to slip passed ted and beard with just a howdy hello. However only one of the boys managed to stop you in your path, “Look who it is,” Jamie grinned, opening his arms out wide making you roll your eyes with a smile, “Its Mrs grampa,”

“Hello to you too Tartt,”

“Don’t worry love I won’t keep ya. Can’t risk grampa having to wait for his sponge bath,”

You rolled your eyes again as you kept walking, knowing full well Jamie was staring at your arse, “You’re just jealous he gets one and you don’t,” you grinned, excited to finally see your boyfriend after a long day.

“If you ever wanna be with a real footballer love you’ve got my number,” he said, clicking his tongue and firing finger guns at you before spinning on his heels and finally leaving.

you were laughing quietly as you opened the door to the locker room, finally laying eyes on your boyfriend. Roy looked up with a stone face, but a smile fell over it when he saw you, “What’s got you laughing then princess?” he asked as he fastened his belt.

“Just Jamie being a prick,” you said as you walked up to him. before Roy could start his impending rant, you looped your fingers in his belt loops, pulling him closer, “Sad I missed the show though,” you smirked, leaning up to kiss him.

Roy practically melted into your touch as his hand cupped your jaw, his other resting on your hip, “Im sure I could hit rewind for you,” he teased as he pulled back, his hands moving to your back to pull your body flush against his, “I’ve missed you,”

“You saw me this morning babe,” you laughed as your arms moved to rest over his shoulders.

Roy chuckled, his eyes glancing down, “Been thinking about you all day,”

“What about me specifically?” you teased, catching another quick peck.

his hands slid down your back slowly before he suddenly slapped your arse making you have yelped half squeal. “You know exactly what I’ve been thinking about. walking in here looking like this,”

“Looking like what?” you said, leaning in so your nose brushed against his.

“So, fucking fuckable,” he said, his voice somehow lower than before making your stomach do flips and knocking the butterflies all over the place, “Been thinking about those fucking lips all day,” Roy said before his lips crashed onto yours in a desperate messy kiss.

your hands gripped his hair making Roy groan into the kiss as his hands squeezed your hips tightly knocking the wind out of you. “Well, I can’t do much else with these lips till we get out of here,” you said, finally pulling away for air and walking backwards leading Roy towards the door.

“Says who?” Roy said, his hot breath fanning over your neck before his lips soon to kiss down your skin making you moan when he reached the crook of your neck. Roy moved you back till your back was against the locker room door.

“We can’t Roy,” you moaned, your grip tightening in his hair.

“Sure, don’t sound like you wanna stop,” he mumbled against your skin.

it had been a thought you’d had a lot, fucking Roy in the locker room. or really anywhere at Richmond. Roy had even said after his last win that he would’ve taken you on the pitch right then if he could. ever since the idea had been in your head and with the season just starting again it was seeming tempting, but you knew the cleaners would be coming round soon.

but not right now. Roy groaned when you pulled his head from your neck but his eyes about popped out his skull when he felt your hand on his belt buckle. “Seriously?” he asked, almost getting giddy about the idea as you unbuckled the belt, working quickly on the button of his jeans.

You hummed in response as you undid his zip, “Just my mouth though. for now,”

“Hey im not fucking complaining,” Roy grinned but his mouth fell open, a small moan from his lips when he felt your hand wrap around his cock, “Fuck babe wait- “he said making you almost pull your hand out his boxers but he grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Over here. so, we’re not in the middle of the room yeah?” he said as he led you over to the closest locker.

you laughed when you looked up at the locker, “You want me to suck you off in front of Jamies locker?” you said, still following Roy over.

“Cmon,” Roy groaned, his cock pulsing in your hand as he reached his enemies spot in the locker room, “This would be the ultimate fuck you. the fuck yous of fuck you,” he said as the backs of his legs hit the bench.

your hand moved from his dick, much to Roys dismay, to hold his shoulders. Roy was about ready to call it quits when he felt you push down on his shoulders, making him sit down on the bench. you stayed stood for a moment, your hand tracing over his jaw, “You Roy Kent, are a petty bitch,” you said as you slowly moved down onto your knees making Roy somehow get even harder, “Who I love,”

“I’ve never loved you more,” Roy said as he watched you with awe. you rolled your eyes as you leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his tip.

if you were going to do something so wrong you were going to do it right. you licked slow soft licks around his tip making Roy groan as his hand found its way into your hair, but he knew better than to rush you. he nearly gasped for air when he felt you lick down his shaft, your hand resting on the other side of his sensitive member.

you teased him for a few moments till you finally began to swirl your tongue around his tip before slowly sinking down his cock. Roy moaned, not caring if anyone was still here to hear him as your hands moved to cup his balls. his moans were all the encouragement you needed to keep going, your head bobbing down with an increasing pace as you felt his tip hit the back of your throat.

Roy felt like he could cum at any moment, but he wanted to enRoy this. his eyes were screwed up with pleasure but for some reason he felt the need to open them. when he did, he saw Jamie, standing at the other locker room door, his hand still on the handle and his jaw practically on the fucking floor.

having Jamie seeing this was somehow even better than him never knowing it happened. it took Jamie a moment to notice Roys eyes were open and when he met his captains eyes all Roy could do was smirk, leaning his head back to rest against the wall as Jamie stood there in awe. Roy wanted to enRoy this feeling, that was until he felt your cheeks hollow around his cock and his eyes screwed up in pleasure once more.

Roy knew he couldn’t wait any longer but when he went to tap your shoulder to tell you that, a signal you had decided upon months ago, you decided to keep going. Roy couldn’t contain himself any longer and he gasped as he felt himself spill his cum down your throat. your movements slowed but you didn’t pull your lips away till you had practically sucked all the life from the footballer.

when you pulled off, wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your shirt, you looked up to Roy with those doe eyes he loved so fucking much. seeing them made him reach down, pulling you in by your jaw to kiss you harshly. you heard some kind of click and you pulled back, glancing behind you, “Did you hear something?” you asked, slowly getting up from your suddenly sore knees.

“Nah,” Roy said as he helped you stand, getting up himself and zipping back up, “But we should go. gotta get you home so I can repay the favour,” he said making you giggle and rush towards the door, Roy slapping your arse as you went making you fake scold your boyfriend.

as you walked the halls Roy briefly wondered if he had taken it too far but after all it was Jamie, so he didn’t worry. then he wondered why Jamie hadn’t confronted him? was it actually Jamie that had seen him or some orgasm angle? if Jamie had down that to him Roy would’ve fucked him across the room and kicked the living hell out of him.

it must’ve been someone else Roy thought, trying his best to act casual as he walked with you to the parking lot. however, when Roy opened the door for you to walk into the car park, he looked up to see Jamie, sat his car eyes closed. Roy barked a laugh at the sight, making your head spin around looking for what was funny.

however, Jamie had heard your boyfriends laugh and by the time you spotted his car it was speeding out of the parking lot. You looked after the car, head tilted, “Jamies a weird one,” you said as you unlocked your car, and all Roy could do was laugh. next practise was gonna be the cats’ pyjamas.

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics

[exercise-of-trust]

everyone clap and cheer for my beautiful daughter who has every disease 🥰 her name is þerindë because her wheel is made out of an embroidery hoop; she is entirely handmade and boy howdy does it show

a whole bunch of things have stopped working since i took that video last night and i'm not sure how much more wherewithal i have to keep messing with her, but i did manage to spin about two feet of something before then! so i'm showing her off a bit now, and if i can figure out what-all i fucked up maybe you'll see more of her in the future. some process and progress photos under the cut (not a tutorial. do not do this. i cannot sufficiently stress how bad of an idea this was and is*)

(*if you are going to do this and have questions not answered here i am always happy to answer them, inbox and dms are open etc, but like. i would strongly advise against it)

here's the hoop! it's about a foot across, with a groove carved out with a speedball. this ended up being way too shallow (who'd'a'thunk) so the final version is a lot deeper than what you're seeing here. the paint stirrers are held in with straight pins because i was worried regular nails would just crack the hoop lmao. my girl is so deeply and profoundly scuffed <3

the flyer is made from three cedar shingles glued together because i didn't have a solid piece of wood large enough. astonishingly nothing broke while i was sawing out the rough shape and it whittled down pretty nicely! the hooks are scrap 2mm copper wire, the orfice is a couple inches of plastic drinking straw, and the pulley wheel is also hand-carved, which is why it looks like a fucked-up oreo and has the weird hitch at the top of the spin that you probably saw in the video 🙃 frankly i am astonished it works as well as it does

the wheel frame is. man. the axle supports haven't broken yet but frankly it's a miracle they're still in place with how much strain they're under every time. the original base was that weird little bit of paint stirrer, which (shocker) did not work out in the long run; it's been replaced by an offcut from the frame and is significantly more sturdy now. it's surprisingly level, though, and turns pretty smoothly all things considered!

the frame was a nightmare start to finish; i've never done any serious woodworking before in my life and the whole thing was just kind of slapped together without a plan or any sort of concrete measurement. it wobbles so fucking bad and every few hours i have to push a couple of the parts back together where the nails are sort of drifting out of the wood. you may observe a weird post sticking out the left side of the mother-of-all; that is supposed to be for scotch tensioning. does it actually do that? sort of! the belt is a length of cotton crochet thread that is, after much fiddling, just the right size to not slip out more than once every three minutes.

treadling was another pain to figure out and i think i probably made it way more complicated than it needed to be. it still doesn't work very well and i can't tell if that's something i can fix hardware-wise or if i just have to suck it up and practice a lot more. turns out feet are not as coordinated as hands! i would say "now i know for next time!" but frankly i am never doing this again. you couldn't pay me. speaking of which, i did the math and at my current pre-tax hourly salary i could've bought two brand-new ashford travelers with the number of hours i spent building my awful rickety daughter. at the end of the day, do i love her? immensely. is she "good"? by no stretch of the imagination.

anyway. this was a terrible use of my time <3 but i do finally feel confident enough in all the parts of a spinning wheel and what they're for that i can brave the dangers of facebook marketplace's "spinning wheel" category without getting too badly scammed! which is pretty valuable in its own right, i guess.

[ranchthoughts]

An Update to the Kissing Multiverse!

The first version is here, second version here, third version here. There is also a little bonus stat crunching here. My tag for this project is here.

Well, Only Friends and Dangerous Romance are over, so I am back with another GMMTV Kissing Multiverse update for you all. And boy howdy it is a doozy. We've added 16 shows, 19 actors, and 33 unique kissing pairs!

Rules

Must have visible lip to lip contact

Must be shown on screen in a GMM tv series (no kisses from ads, promotional content, trailers*, movies, etc.)

*please note this means none of the GMMTV 2024 trailers count

Breakdown by Show

The data set now includes 77 shows.

(full list in alt text)

Breakdown By Actor

The data set now includes 131 actors.

(full lists in alt text)

Results and Discussion

Unique vs. Repeat Kissing Pairs

Last time round we learned that the vast majority of GMMTV kissing pairs are one-offs and that mixed gender pairs were less likely to repeat. Those conclusions hold true for this update.

There are 169 "unique" kissing pairs in the dataset, and of those, 156 (92.3%) appear only once, in one show. 13 pairs (7.7%) appear at least twice.

The 13 pairs that appear in more than one show are:

Book/Force (in A Boss and a Babe, Enchante, and Only Friends)

Bright/Win (in 2gether and Still 2gether)

Dunk/Joong (in Hidden Agenda and Star in My Mind)

Earth/Mix (in A Tale of Thousand Stars, Cupid's Last Wish, and Moonlight Chicken)

Fiat/June (in The Gifted and The War of Flowers)

Film/Gun (in Not Me and Three Gentlebros)

First/Khaotung (in The Eclipse and Only Friends)

Gun/Off (in Not Me, Puppy Honey, Puppy Honey 2, and Theory of Love)

Lee/Mook (in My Dear Loser and The Jungle)

Louis/Neo (in The Eclipse and Fish Upon The Sky)

Marc Natarit/Pawin (in Dangerous Romance and My Gear Your Gown)

New/Tay (in Dark Blue Kiss and Kiss Me Again)

Phuwin/Pond (in Fish Upon the Sky and Never Let Me Go)

The kissing pair that has appeared in the most shows is Gun/Off, with 4 shows out as of now (and 2 more in the works!).

10 out of 13 of these repeating pairs (77%) are same gender pairs, specifically BL branded or brand-adjacent pairs. Once again, an interesting look into the GMMTV het vs BL system.

All in all, 97% of mixed gender pairs and 85% of same gender pairs appear only once, in one show.

Same Gender vs. Mixed Gender Kissing Pairs

Of the 169 "unique" kissing pairs, roughly 60% are mixed gender pairs and roughly 39% are same gender pairs. This ratio has shifted slightly from the last update (when it was 59% mixed gender and 41% same gender) as I have added more het shows to the sample.

Now to look at the shows themselves: 35% of the shows had only same gender kissing pairs, 47% of the shows had only mixed gender kissing pairs, and 18% of the shows featured both. You will notice that this is a 8% increase in favour of "mixed gender kissing only" shows compared to the last update which is due to the number of het shows I added this update.

Most Kissing Pairs Per Show

The average number of kissing pairs per show is 2.4.

The shows with the most different kissing pairs are:

Only Friends (16 different pairs)

The Warp Effect (15 different pairs)

Friendzone (11 different pairs)

The Jungle and U-Prince (9 different pairs each)

The Player (7 different pairs)

Not Me, Three Gentlebros, and 3 Will Be Free have 4 different kissing pairs each, and then all other shows have 3 or fewer kissing pairs each.

Welcome Only Friends to the top of the ranking! 🎉 A well deserved placing. I would like to take a moment to hone in on the distribution of kissing over the course of the series:

We hit 9 kissing pairs in ep. 9, 10 pairs in ep. 10, 11 pairs in ep. 11, and 12(+) pairs in ep. 12. Very satisfying.

The Power of Jojo

Jojo, every series:

You get a kiss and you get a kiss! YOU ALL GET KISSES!

(inspired by @dribs-and-drabbles here)

As we've learned over these past updates, Jojo has an outsized impact on the number of kissing pairs. He has directed roughly 10% of the shows in this sample, but his shows account for nearly a third of all kissing pairs (32%). Half of Jojo's shows are in the top 6 for most kissing pairs per show (Only Friends, The Warp Effect, Friendzone, and The Player).

The average number of kissing pairs in a Jojo show is 7.4, compared to 1.8 for non-Jojo shows.

Interesting to note: last update, the average number of kissing pairs per show for Jojo shows was 6.0 (1.4 lower) and the average for non-Jojo shows was the same (1.8). Only Friends had quite the impact.

(note: in this section, I am just looking at kissing pair iterations here not at unique kissing pairs, e.g., Phuwin/Pond are a pair in two shows (once in a Jojo show and once in a non-Jojo show), so they are counted twice.)

Most Kissing Partners

First, to put this in context: 50.4% of the actors in this sample have only had one kissing partner. The average number of kissing partners per actor is 2.6 (an increase of 0.3 from last update - again, possibly due to Only Friends).

We've had some significant changes in the leader board this update. Previously, our top 5 were Joss (10 kissing partners), Lee and Namtan (9 each), and Ohm and Nanon (7 each).

Welcome our new leader, Lee, with 12 kissing partners!

Krist takes the second spot (11 different kissing partners), followed by Joss (10), Namtan (9) and First (8) to round out our top five.

Next we have Gigie, Mild, Nanon, New, Off, and Ohm with 7 different kissing partners each; Film, Mond, Mook, Neo, and Singto with 6 kissing partners each; and Bright, Fluke Pusit, Jan, Khaotung, and Mark Pakin with 5 kissing partners each. There are also eleven actors with 4 different partners, and fifteen actors with 3 different partners each.

This update sees an astonishing 6 new kissing partners for Krist and 3 for First, catapulting them into the top 5. The impact of Only Friends can't be denied either - it increased every one of its actors' total kissing partners, and pushed Mond, Neo, Khaotung, and Mark Pakin up into the upper echelons, along with First, of course.

Most Kissing Partners in One Show

We have a new reigning champion for "Most Kissing Partners in One Show"! Thanks to his tireless hard work in Only Friends kissing 5 different people, Neo rockets to the top of the list.

We now have seven people who have kissed 4 different people in one show thanks to Only Friends (First, Mark Pakin, and Mond in Only Friends; Fluke Pusit, Gigie, and New in The Warp Effect; and Plustor in Friendzone), and eight cases of people kissing 3 different people in one show (Book, Force, and Khaotung in Only Friends; Joss and Namtan in The Player; Joss again in 3 Will Be Free; Krist in The Jungle; and Singto in Friendzone).

Please note that all of these instances (except for Krist in The Jungle) happened in Jojo shows.

In total, there are 52 instances of people kissing more than one person in a show, and 31% of actors in the sample have kissed more than one person in a show at least once.

Which of the GMMTV boys has kissed the most guys?

Last update we had a five-way tie for first place between First, Fluke Pusit, Neo, Plustor, and Singto, with 4 men kissed each. Only Friends has significantly changed the situation.

Congratulations to First for taking first place in the men kissing men category, with 7 men kissed! Next we have Neo in second place (6 men kissed) and Khaotung in third (5 men kissed).

First has kissed Gawin (Not Me), Force (Only Friends), Khaotung (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mark Pakin (Only Friends), Mix (Moonlight Chicken), Mond (Only Friends), and Ohm (The Shipper)

Neo has kissed Drake (Only Friends), Force (Only Friends), Louis (The Eclipse and FUTS), Mark Pakin (Only Friends), Mond (Only Friends), and Title (Only Friends)

Khaotung has kissed Book (Only Friends), First (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mond (Only Friends), Pawin (55:15 Never Too Late), and Pod (Tonhon Chonlatee)

There are now seven men who have kissed 4 men each: Fluke Pusit, Krist, Mark Pakin, Mond, New, Plustor, and Singto. Special shoutout to Mark Pakin, Mond, and Plustor for racking up all these kisses over the course of one show each (Only Friends, Only Friends, and Friendzone respectively).

Finally, there are eight men who have kissed 3 men each, and eleven who have kissed two men each.

The Kiss Web

Behold... the Kiss Web, newly updated:

And, as usual, some colourful breakdowns too:

The reach of the top 5 kissers: Lee, Krist, Joss, Namtan, and First.

The kissing webs of the top three shows: Only Friends (in pink), The Warp Effect (in blue), and Friendzone (in green). Yes these are all Jojo shows.

Some "kissing triangles" (no squares this time because there were too many to show). Note the triangles completed in the course of one show: Nat-Plustor-Singto (Friendzone), First-Khaotung-Mond (Only Friends), Mark Pakin-Neo-Title (Only Friends), Fluke Pusit-Gigie-New (The Warp Effect), and Joss-Mild-Tay (3 Will Be Free).

I’ve been having fun Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon-ing around this web and I’d like to propose a challenge to you all: what is the longest chain between two people (with the most people between them) possible? Basically, reverse Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Bonus points if there is no quicker shortcut between them.

If you’d like to play another little game, see my post here.

Contributing authors: @airenyah, @alsoran, @alwaysthepessimist, various anons, @bengiyo, @burnsuncomet, @callipigio, @cangse-sanren, @catboykacchan, @catboyjosten, @catsundmaus, @chickenstrangers, @crowie, @dribs-and-drabbles, @ffirstkhao, @foralleternityidiot, @isaksbestpillow, @jeonghanurl, @kattahj, @kpinhiding, @lurkingshan, @maibpenrai, @maybeitdontmakesense, @nieves-de-sugui, @non-binarypal7, @sammie-lightwood-bane, @sollucets, @userneos, @theselightsareblinding, @tiistirtipii, @waitmyturtles, @williamrikers

Data visualization consultants and beloved proofreaders: @chickenstrangers, @dribs-and-drabbles, @wen-kexing-apologist

Asked to be tagged: @blmpff

[great-and-small]

Howdy, just saw your post about frat looking dudes in an undergraduate entomology course and three of them being turf grass majors…I think you may have run into my students??? Like did this happen this semester?

I mean there’s a good number of universities that offer turf grass management degrees so it may not be, but it’d be a funny coincidence. Was this college in Texas by chance?

I love that these people exist across the country at turf grass schools but this did not take place in Texas 😅

I’m so amused by the dichotomy of students taking entomology because they love insects and the others taking it because they need to know what pesticides to use for their future golf course. That’s hilarious

[ericvelseb]

I'm suffering from artblock even though I have unfinished artwork in my gallery but decided to do this instead

For @eve-pie

Wally/Barnaby: like Eve had made, she is their guardian angel who is protecting their souls especially Wally from Eddie and Eric, she's like a mother to them and they'll only call her if they encounter Eric (she'll take Eric back and ground him another month), she would sing them a lullaby if they have trouble sleeping

Eddie/Frank: She is good friends with them since Frank would invite her to sing/perform at his show while Eddie enjoys her company though she tries to convince him to stop stealing people's souls but he doesn't listen to her of course

Sally: Sally always invites Nina do perform in plays, musical performances since angels all have angelic voices that could put anyone under a relaxing and smoothing spell, Sally would also teach Nina some dancing moves (Silky also teaches her), Nina would sometimes use her magic to create beautiful light shows during performances

Poppy/Ms.Beagle: She absolutely loves hanging out with them so she would have the time to do some baking for them, she also loves to hear the stories they have

Howdy/Julie: Though she hardly knew about Howdy but she met him when Wally and Barnaby got into trouble where she had to get them out of, he suddenly fell over heels over her when he saw her dispute her being married to Bob

For Chalice, she knew that she was an ghost but since Chalice is friends with Wally and Barnaby, Nina decided to protect the three of them now

Fun fact: Nina is the angel of Love, she is like Princess Cadance from mlp, Nina can sometimes use her powers to create love and her singing as well.

Wally/Barnaby: of trying to get their souls well mostly Wally's since he was ordered by Eddie to get his soul, Eric unfortunately get into bad situations just to get Wally's soul like wearing the sweater....ouch

Eddie/Frank: Eric is always called by Eddie to do his biddings for him while Frank would just brag to Eric that Frank is proud to be Number 1 to Eddie but Eric doesn't care as long he gets the job done, he's like Henchman to Eddie so he'll sometimes act dumb

Sally: He would anything to do with performances since he's not good at dancing but Sally would encourage him to sing instead so during his disguise, he would perform anything country related

Poppy, Ms. beagle, Howdy: he's chill with them but he'll try to trick them into giving their souls but he is always unsuccessful everytime so he just let's them go

Julie: Mhmm...he was there when she made the deal with Eddie about living but he doesn't really know anything about her

Welp hope y'all like it!

Wh Cuphead Au by @eve-pie

Nina and Eric by me

[devildom-moss]

Hi! I was wondering if I could request gnMc sneaking Mephistopheles and/or Solomon into the house of lamentation to hang out and spend the night in their room (sfw or nsfw) Thank you so much!

Ive been really loving your writing!

Thank you! I hope you will love this one as well. I considered doing SFW, but NSFW brain won that battle.

Sneaking Solomon and Mephistopheles in for the night

(Solomon x gn!MC) (Mephistopheles x gn!MC)

(NSFW)

Solomon

“Howdy,” Solomon greeted you from your bed with a cheeky wave as you walked in.

“Shh, they’ll hear you,” you hushed him and quickly locked the door. You told him to teleport into your room while everyone was having dinner, you just didn’t expect to find him sprawled out in your bed when you returned. He didn’t have to be so loud about saying hello to you. He didn’t have to be half-dressed either. “Are you naked under that robe?”

“Want to come and find out?” Solomon stretched a hand out to you, motioning you to join him in bed.

“The night’s still young; ask again later. Looks like something Asmo would buy,” you commented, walking into your bathroom to brush your teeth.

“How’d you guess?” Solomon laughed, “he actually bought this for me a few months ago. It’s a bit too sexy to wear around Purgatory Hall, though. I might even seduce Simeon looking like this. Asmo wanted me to model it for him, too.”

“Did you?” you asked, toothbrush still in your mouth.

“What do you think?” Solomon was so coy sometimes. He waited for your answer while you continued to brush your teeth, the door opened between you. This kind of familiarity was part of why you invited Solomon to spend the night.

You had to sneak him by the brothers. There would be no peace or alone time if they knew Solomon was in your room. Luckily, Solomon’s magic was strong enough to disguise his presence. He even gave you a magic charm to hang up near your door a week in advance to help detract from his sudden appearance. That’s also why you had him teleport during dinner: the expected day-to-day commotion at that time would be relatively high. It’d be easier to sneak him in the more distracted the brothers were. You lucked out that Leviathan and Satan were bickering over the anime adaptation of a book in the background of Lucifer lecturing everyone else about their recent test scores – except for Belphegor, whose only problem was that the only time he was awake for that class was to take the test. All of that had made it possible for Solomon to be there with you now.

You spit into the sink and washed your mouth out before getting back to Solomon. He was still lounging in your bed, laying on his stomach and leisurely swinging one leg. The lacy trim of the robe was slowly rising up the back of Solomon’s thighs, and from this distance, you could tell that the fabric was almost sheer. Not one to pass up an opportunity, you squeezed the back of his thigh – snaking your fingers beneath the hem of his robe. “I think you should have kept this pretty little number for my eyes only, but you showed him anyway because it’s Asmo.”

“O-oh?” Solomon stuttered, his confidence shattered with a tiny touch. He composed himself with a chuckle and rolled over so he could look at you. “Two for two. Want to make another guess and try for three?”

“I think,” you hummed and crawled over him in bed, “I was already right three times.”

“What?”

“Asmo got you the robe. You tried it on for him, and,” your fingers ran up his thighs until you hit his hip, “you’re not wearing anything under this. That’s three.”

Solomon gulped, his face flushed pink. “I thought you wanted to wait for later.”

“It is later.” Any plans of just relaxing in bed with Solomon had gone out the window when he showed up looking like that. He’s always been so pretty – he didn’t need to exacerbate your desire for him. You could hang out alone anywhere given the right opportunity. You could be homebodies snuggling in bed another time – and it would probably be easier at Purgatory Hall. You wouldn’t have Solomon in your bed again for a while, and you were both restraining a desire so starved that it shouldn’t have had so much strength. So, naturally, you wanted to unravel Solomon right then and there.

There was something about the domestic feeling of knowing that he can fall asleep with you and wake up in your bed that softened the edges around Solomon. He couldn’t joke and tease like he usually would when he was so overwhelmed by the fact that he was in your bed. He’d never felt more like your lover in that moment. Any touch you offered him, he’d take and savor so greedily that he’d give Mammon a run for his money. You could do anything you wanted to him.

It was hard for Solomon to choose between trying to commit every darkened corner of your room to memory – how the noises you were both making resonated against every wall – and focusing on your precious face as you fucked him and caressed his body. He let out such a sweet, restrained moan. He was trying so hard to be quiet; if he bit his lip just slightly harder, he’d break the skin and start to bleed – and he’d still be begging you, “MC, kiss me. Shut me up, please?”

You had to oblige him – not least because he sounded so desperate. His eyes appeared a soft, cloudy grey that darkened as his eyelids fluttered shut, as if you would make a stormy night out of him, all thunderous moans and glorious sparks. Even kissing wasn’t enough to quiet Solomon, and his hungry moans sent vibrations into your mouth.

Somehow, you managed to go a few rounds without anyone hearing before you were both sprawled out on the bed, entirely spent. In the smallest, quietest voice he had managed all night, Solomon asked, “should we go shower?”

“You want to?”

“I always wanted to have you wash my hair before I go to bed. I’d do the same for you,” Solomon admitted in a dreamy daze. He was too cute.

“Okay, let’s go do that.”

Solomon, having been prepared, had an alarm to wake him before any of the brothers would likely be up and about. Unfortunately, morning Solomon didn’t care, and he wanted to spend more time in your arms, which resulted in a hasty escape when Mammon came knocking at your door. He swore he felt magic from the other side of the door, and the room vaguely smelled of sex (but he would never bring that up), so the entire day consisted of Mammon trying to accuse you of sneaking someone into your room last night and wrap his brothers up in the hunt for the culprit with the only evidence he was willing to provide being him sensing magic on the other side of the door. No one was convinced.

Mephistopheles

He asked for this – even after you told him that you could easily come up with an excuse to spend the night with him at his place. No one would interrupt you there. He covered his eyes with his hand. The white glove seemed to bring out the faintest tint of pink in his face. Mephisto looked around the newspaper club room and out the windows to ensure you were truly alone.

“That’s part of the kink,” he mumbled.

“What?”

“I told you it was stupid and a bad idea,” Mephisto complained.

“No, it’s not. Just explain from the beginning, okay?” You took his hand to reassure him.

“Thanks.” Mephisto placed a kiss on your hand and continued, “so, when you asked me the other day if there was anything I wanted to try with you, I thought for a while. Well, I want to have sex with you in your bed at the House of Lamentation. It’s not just the sex – we could have sex anywhere. I could lock the door right now – hell, I could leave it unlocked and wide open – and fuck you right here in this room. But I want to fuck you in your own bed, right under Lucifer and his brother’s noses. I don’t know if it’s an exhibitionist kink or a possessive and jealous trait or some combination. I just thought about it and wanted it so much. We don’t have to.”

He sounded so hesitant and unsure of himself – which you honestly weren’t sure he was capable of. Mephisto was being vulnerable with you, and he was scared that you would resent him for it.

“Even if I refused your request, I’m not going to recoil with disgust at you. I know you’re a demon, and your desires don’t scare me.” You caressed his burning face with your free hand. “I’ll sneak you in tonight, if you want me to.”

Mephisto pulled you into his arms and kissed your face all over, occasionally chuckling at his success in this endeavor.

You used a classic to sneak him in. You declared that you were turning in early, and once everyone seemed preoccupied, quietly – and not-so-quietly – adjusted into their nights, you opened your window and Mephisto climbed through because demon windows don’t need screens or something. Fancy rich people windows maybe?. He didn’t make a show of entering your room, and even his clothes were barely considered before he arrived. Nothing mattered more to him than getting his hands on you.

Originally, Mephisto’s intention was to pleasure you until you were moaning his name loud enough to reach Lucifer’s ears. Just the thought of you cumming for him in your own bed, and how you could go to sleep every night for weeks and months after, thinking about everything he had done to you in that very place, filled him with pride. However, the second you pull a moan out of him, another idea took over his lust-clouded mind. He imagined one of the brothers walking by – especially Lucifer – and hearing him moan for you as if he was in heat and you were fucking him senseless. It hit him that he was in your bed, too, and that meant you had chosen him over everyone else – at least for the night.

Mephisto’s moaning got louder the closer he got to climaxing. Every sultry moan of your name and erotic gasp that parted his lips filled the room. He was so sexy as he combed his hair back with his fingers and panted. Whether it was because he wanted to keep going and make as much noise as possible or because he was more turned on than he had ever been or simply because he finally had all night with you, Mephisto kept you up early into the morning.

You only got two hours of rest before Lucifer reluctantly knocked at your door to dispose of the trash from the night before. No one really wanted to interrupt last night since it had already gone so far that Mephisto was practically yelling by the time they realized, but all of the brothers, most of all Lucifer, would be damned a second time around if they were going to let Mephisto snuggle with you all morning.

“Get out of the house, Mephisto.” Lucifer crossed his arms at your door.

Mephisto groaned and pulled you closer. “Good morning, MC. Hope your morning sucks, Lucifer.��

“Mephisto,” you cautioned him, still half-asleep.

“You’re here, so it does,” Lucifer groaned. “Get up, get dressed, get out. You have five minutes before you become a new chandelier in the living room. And MC, we’ll discuss this further later, but for now, I just need you to understand that I’m disappointed in your taste. Next time, sneak in at least a Solomon or higher.”

“You hate Solomon,” you mention.

“Yeah.” Lucifer turned and left the room, checking his watch. He yelled through the door, “four minutes and 28 seconds.”

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Looky Loo Puzzle

Looky Loo Code

I’ve been wrestling with this thing for a couple of weeks now, so I’m passing this on in the hopes that it makes sense to someone, or sparks an idea of their own.  I just ask that you let me know what you think, so I can stop making myself crazy.  I am very bad at puzzles as much as I like them.  We start with the stickers page.

Notes on the stickers: 

Directions they are looking

Wally looking left

Julie is closing one eye and winking with the other; the text in news says “keep an eye on” which makes me think this is a major clue, but I’m not getting it.

Frank is looking off to the right

Howdy is looking to the center

Home is looking off to the right

Poppy is looking up and to the right

Eddie is looking down and to the right

Sally is looking up and to the right

Barnaby is looking to the left.

Characters they are looking at if you follow the gaze:

Wally is looking at no one, unless off page counts as a continuance, then it would be Frank

Julie is looking at Frank

Frank, same as Wally but reversed (and I kind of have them as adversaries in my head)

Howdy is looking at Poppy

Poppy is looking off screen, or at Wally

Eddie is looking off screen or at the mail or at Julie

Sally is looking at Poppy

Barnaby appears to be looking at Sally

Additional details:

Almost all of the water balls have a character with their eyes closed.  The exceptions are Howdy (in between two characters with their eyes closed) and Wally (eyes seem to be open but facing away from us)

3 characters (plus 2 of Howdy’s family members) are singing

On the sparkly versions of the gifs, Poppy’s and Eddie’s mouths are moving

Some of the characters have sparkles on their blue areas only.  Exceptions are Julie (full sparkle below the neck), Frank (sparkles on the black, he doesn’t have much blue), Poppy (all of Poppy, but not her nest, Howdy (full sparkle)

Only on blue:  Wally, Eddie, Sally, Barnaby

So, I have two different methods I was considering:

 Use an alphabet cypher, with the alphabet listed out in rows of five, with one square housing 2 numbers.  I used c/k as it was the example I found, but I/J or X/Y makes more sense.

That one doesn’t really use the stickers page, so in trying to adapt the model to the stickers page, I thought maybe the characters need to be turned into the alphabet code, with three letters for each character, and one for home.

Using the first method, I solved for two variables.  Everyone is pointing to the “start with a musical monster” as the instruction as to where to start, but I’m torn between starting with J for Julie or M for Musical Monster.  So I did both.  The way this went was laying out the alphabet in a 5 x 5, with C/K:

And then I used the directional arrows to take me to the next letter.  If on an edge and told to go northwest, for example, I would move one line up and then one line west. In the instance of V, that would be U.  There is the difficulty of what to do with the eyes that are looking straight ahead, but I used that as a repeat of the letter before.  On other matches, I treated those directions as individual.  So if I started on M, it would be S then Y.

Starting with M (Remember C/K is shared):

SYZDY/XCGCI/DCWQM/HMMMS

Starting with J:

LRSWR/QVEVB/WVUOJ/AJJJL

Obviously, this makes no sense, so I put it in a substitution cipher decoder and got things that looked almost like words:

M—CTINTHERMONEDASUSSSC

IN THERE

J—NTISTHEREASEDCOLOOON

IS THERE A SECOND LONT; THERE IS A SECOND

There is also the option of treating the repeated directions as the same letter, in which case it is:

M—SSTXS/RWAWC/XWQQM/HMMMS

J—LLMQL/PUYUV/QUOOJ/AJJJL

Through the decoder, and it is:

M—TTHETWASAREALLINIIIT

THE REAL WAS A LINIT TT; THERE WAS A

J—TTINTHEREONELLSASSST

THERE IS ONE LAST TT

Also almost words.  These seem to be more words than the above.  I have also considered that the repeated positions indicate a capital.

I went ahead and calculated for a shared I/J and got:

M Repeated=TTONTHEREANESSIMIT

M No repeated=MONTOHEREDSTICALAM

J Repeated=OOSHOWERETHELLINIO

J Not repeated=URPARTISIONATHELEC

Shared W/X:

M Repeated=OODCONTHERIESSANAL

M No repeated=CISMORELETTHEYCANAM

J Repeated=RMCOMANINGONTHESNER

J No repeated=TTINTHEREANESSOFOT

Now for 2: 

Seeing as there were some references to brickwork/masons, the pig pen cypher seems like a logical choice.  Also, there are 4 images for each character. 

Based on the 4 gif being very different and the letters of the alphabet, I went with 3 for each character and one for Home:

And so on, with Home being N and a shared I/J

The weakness of this theory is that I have no indication of which letter in the grid to select for each character.  I could take the doubled symbols at an indication it is the second letter, but there isn’t really any indicator for the third. 

Or it could be that closed/open eyes are an indicator?

I have also tried the straight up follow it around the stickers and use the first letter of the names, but Home and Howdy kind of ruin that to start with, and it is a very limited set of letters.

I have tried converting the positions to numbers, starting with 1 at Julie and going clockwise (because we have had a couple of clocks, as well as Julie’s one eye is closed and the other is open and looking to the right). 

I used 9 for home in one string and 0 for home in the next.  I also considered the centered eyes on row 5 to be home:

W=8

J=1

F=2

H=7

00,99

P=3

E=6

S=5

B=4

I also reversed it into counterclockwise, because why not.

44361755241788236994

If it is going to be analogous to letters, there can be no value greater than 26.  I decided to try to assign each number to a letter, using two integers when it wasn’t over 26

4 4 3 6 17 5 5 24 17 8 8 23 6 9 9 4

4 4 3 6 17 5 5 24 17 8 8 23 6 0 0 4

(there is no letter for zero)

Adding is an idea, but I don’t know what quantities to group.  I could go as high as possible without going over 26, I could do pairs?

25 24 21 17 13

25 24 21 10

These aren’t many, so it doesn’t seem to work

8 9 8 10 6 8 16 5 15 13

Not a lot of variety in pairs.

And what to do with those?  I can give them a letter assignment:

4 4 3 6 17 5 5 24 17 8 8 23 6 9 9 4

D D C F Q  E E  X  Q  H H W F I I D

But what to do then, I would assume the same decoder as before:

RRENATTHASSINGGR

Nothing stands out there.  I’m at a loss.  Ideas?

[valscodblog]

Howdy there, partner! 🤠

Congrats on your first request bbg. Your writing is so freaking juicy i wanna marry it 🤑 Seriously, your Valeria fics? *Chefs kiss*

anywhos, request? Do you write for Kate Laswell? Would you be willing to write something fluffy of Kate coming home after that one time she smoked on-screen, only to be met with her pant-pissingly-scary-wifes scolding?

aaaggghhh take that you lovable bastard. Thank you for your time 🫂

–Jooseboxxe 🧃

FUCK YESSSSS, PLEASE SEND ME SOME SHIT FOR KATE MY BABY, i love her so much it's not funny anymore. she is me, i am her-

ANYWAYS! (so sorry this is such a late reply omfg)

"SMOKING AGAIN?" Kate Laswell x Black!F!Reader

Warnings: CRRRACK fluf, bc yes. Some cussig bc my addicted to it (better than drugs, kids.) uhmmm 13+ fic, AND ANYWAYS IF UR YOUNGER THAN THAT GET TF OFF OF TUMBLR???? WHAT THE FUCK!???

a/n: WHY AINT THIS WOMAN REAL AND MARRIED TO ME??? TF??

"Hey, Katie, welcome ho-what's that smell?"

and cue Kate Laswell, this head strong, very intelligent, very pretty, and very calm and collected woman, starting to Tremble.

"It's uhmm, from John. He was smoking in office again and I-" "Kate, im no idiot. You had a cig, didn't you?" and Kate nodded. "Dishes, landuray, gardening, bathroom, and you have to sleep on the couch for a month." Kate's mouth fell open, "I-Im not sleeping on the fuckin' couch, Y/n!" "Oh really?"

cue the biggest stare down Kate's ever had with her wife.

"I made myself very fucking clear when I told you no more smoking. I said so right after we said out vows, before we even kissed! I told you no more smoking and yeah, you said sure and kept your word, but this is the fifth time since you started with one four one that you smoked, Kate!" Y/n said at the speed of light, and Kate had to reply it in her head three times just to understand the first sentence and nothing more.

"Listen, Babe, I-" "No. I'm putting my foot the fuck down, Kate! Your done! I'll call John myself and tell him. Fuck-I'll cal everyone in one four one to tell them!" and Kate laughed. "You don't even have their numbers, Darling." "I'll find them!" "How, Baby, how?" "You leave your laptop open all the time!" "Like i'd risk writing down their numbers in my laptop."

"Oh, fuck you!" and Kate laughed even more, "Gladly, My Dear. Just-" "Not like that, Kate!" and finally, her wife laughed with her. And they just laughed for a good three minuets before Y/n said, "As much as I hate your habit...I'm happy your home, Katie." and Kate pressed a soft kiss to her wife's forehead. "Me too..."

"you're still sleeping on the couch though."

"Baaaabe, c'mon!"

[jacenotjason]

ALL 'SECRET' VIDEOS IN THE OPPOSITE AU!

These aren't offical for anything! These are fake scripts for 'secret' videos found on the WH site, but for my AU!

FRANK AND EDDIE

[The scene is a mess of crafts paper, glitter glue, and stickers.]

[The audio opens with a loud, sudden ear-piercing scream from Frank.]

FRANK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!EDDIE: [throws the door open, huffing as though he ran there. His voice is uncharacteristically worried.] Frank!? What’s going on!? Why.. [his voice relaxes as he sees Frank, returning to montone. He sighs.] ..why are you on your crafts table? FRANK: That!! THAT!!! [Frank seems to be pointing at something.] EDDIE: … That? FRANK: YES YES!! GET IT AWAY!! EDDIE: ..the tiny little beetle right there? FRANK: MHM!! It flew into the window and tried to KILL ME!! EDDIE: … Alright, whatever- FRANK: NONONONONO!! EDDIE: What!? You said get rid of it! FRANK: DONT STEP ON IT!!

EDDIE: Well, what do you want me to do!? FRANK: just- get it out!!! EDDIE: mmh.. Alright, give me that. The construction paper. FRANK: give you what- wha- [Frank lifts his shoe as Eddie takes some paper he was standing on.]

EDDIE: [Eddie grunts as he crouches down, pushing the beetle onto the paper] C’mon, on the paper bud.. [Frank whines] EDDIE: [Eddie takes the beetle outside, flapping the paper] Go on.. Go go go… C’mon get off- [The buzzing sound of a beetle flying away] There it’s gone- huff! FRANK: [Frank jumps off the table and hugs Eddie suddenly, his squeaker making a little squee] You’re my herooo!! EDDIE: yeah, I- okay- sure, [Eddie clears his throat and pats Frank’s back.] You’re welcome.

FRANK: You saved my life! EDDIE: I just put a bug outside! They ain’t even that scary! FRANK: but-but those pinchers!! EDDIE: Its for grabbing things its size! Like– food! EDDIE: Ugh.. you’re not scared of them, are you Wally?

FRANK AND JULIE

FRANK: Well I think I'm plenty funny, Julie! Barnaby thinks I'm a hoot and a half!

JULIE: Only a hoot and a half? What happened to the other half? [Mean laugh]

FRANK: [frustrated hmph!]

JULIE: That’s not even an accomplishment. Barnaby wouldn’t know a good joke if it walked up to him, introduced itself, and slapped him in the face.

FRANK: [Said with a pout in his tone] yes he would! You know, Julie, you’re not the only funny one in this neighborhood!

JULIE: Oh yeah? You might be right, cloud head! Eddie’s a pretty funny guy too-

FRANK: Not Eddie! Me! I have a joke that will knock your boots off! I’ve been working on it all week!

JULIE: [‘tch’s] Oh good.. all week? It took you that long? [her voice is a little louder as she turns to Wally] You hearing this, creeper?

FRANK: I’ll tell you, listen to this one! [Clears throat] What did the number three say to the number two after beating him in a game of checkers?

JULIE: Oh my lord..

FRANK: I One!

JULIE: [Pretend grunt of pain] Oh my god! That was worse than listening to Howdy explain economics!!

FRANK: Oh it was not, Julie! It was a good joke! Don’t you get it? One is a number but it also sounds like won! You know, when you won a game!

JULIE: [Another gasp of anguish] Now he’s explaining it! Oh- When will the agony stop?! [the sound of Julie falling to her knees, the grass squishing beneath her] Feed me to my venus flytraps, I’m going into the light! Augh! [dramatic gasp as she flops onto her back]

FRANK: Oh Julie, you just don’t understand comedy that isn’t hurting others! It was a funny joke! Wasn’t it, Wally?

HOWDY AND BARNABY

[The scene is what appears to be Barnaby’s desk. Theres two books, a gramophone, and a delightful faint sound of old music] HOWDY: so.. you don’t charge anythin’ for your products!?

BARNABY: well.. they’re not products, Pillar, they’re just books! People return them, anyhow, why would I charge for something I’m going to get back?

HOWDY: [talking incredibly fast, spouting off his business nonsense] A quick fee! People come by all the time and check out books, 50 cents for each checkout! 50 cents for each book, someone comes by and checks out 3 books, boom, a dollar and a half for you and thats just one person! You can start a library card business, too! More like a subscription, free books! But they have to pay 10 bucks a month to keep the card!-

BARNABY: Pillar! [Barnaby cuts him off, but he continues]

HOWDY: [interrupting, continuing to spout] Would if a book gets damaged?

BARNABY: [gasping, as if Howdy talking fast exhausted him] Well, I-I don’t mind at all! I replace it on my own, sure it takes a bit to find and purchase to replace but-

HOWDY: [astonished, interrupting] It comes out of ya own pocket!?

BARNABY: well- yes! Accidents happen, Pillar, I wouldn’t charge for a simple mistake.

HOWDY: How much does a book cost to replace?

BARNABY: Well I dunno… aah, 40 dollars on average-

HOWDY: 40 whole dollars!? You’re killin’ me, Barn!

BARNABY: I’m sorry my business model is hurting you, Pillar, but that’s how I run things.

HOWDY: If I was in your place I would not run it this way.

BARNABY: You are in my place! [He chuckles, amused. He straightens himself and talks sweetly again] You run that charming bodega.

HOWDY: Well, yes, yes I do!

BARNABY: Quite well, might I add.

HOWDY: [still speaking in his astonished tone] Thank you!

BARNABY: You are welcome!

HOWDY: Yeah- I- what were we fightin’ about?

BARNABY: I don’t reckon we we’re fighting, Pillar.

HOWDY: I was sure we was! I was angry.

BARNABY: I wasn’t! I thought we were having a creative discussion about my business.

HOWDY AND JULIE

[The scene is a close up of Howdy’s products.]

[The bell above the door rings, and the sound of Julie’s heels can be heard as she walks inside.]

HOWDY: Julie! How are ya?

JULIE: Same as always. [Her heels continue as she approaches Howdy’s counter] I’m looking for something to make for dinner for me and Sally.

HOWDY: I was unaware she ate.

JULIE: You’re not funny.

HOWDY: Gotta make sure whatever it is is small enough to fit up her nose.

JULIE: [The sound of her heels walking away as she leaves to explore the aisles]

HOWDY: Oh come back! I got one more!

JULIE: [At a distance] Die!

[Some beats pass, Howdy taps on the counter lazily]

HOWDY: Okay, what are you looking for?

JULIE: Just something that smells good. I don’t want to force Sally to eat, I’m thinking about cooking it while shes on her computer, so she smells the food and comes to eat on her own accord-

HOWDY: So-

JULIE: Make a joke about her snorting it and I’ll tear your antenna off.

HOWDY: Damn, jeez…

JULIE: Hm.. [Julie speaks to herself as she takes items off the shelf] Ah, sweet, here we are.. I can make some fried rice.. Oo, Mackerel.. [She speaks to Howdy] Do you have any jarred Romesco?

HOWDY: Probably.

JULIE: Whatever, I’ll make it myself. [She grabs more items, followed by the sound of her heels walking to the counter]

HOWDY: Right, [beeping sounds as he rings her up] Total comes out to 176 dollars and 32 cents.

JULIE: [Groan] Here.

HOWDY: Thaank you.. Have a nice day.

JULIE: Uh huh. [Julie grabs her bags and leaves the store]

HOWDY: [Howdy hums and taps the counter.] ..Oh! Hey, didn’t see ya there. What do you need, Wally?

POPPY AND BARNABY

[The scene is a close up on a bookshelf, Wally’s hand is visible resting on the edge. The usual sound of delightful old music can be heard faintly]

POPPY: [Distant] Barn? Ya home?

BARNABY: Over here, dear!

POPPY: Ah, whatcha doing?

BARNABY: Oh, I was just in the middle of finding a book for him.

POPPY: Oh- didn’t seeya there. Well, I just thought I’d check on ya. Haven’t spoken to you in a good minute. [Poppy takes a seat. Barnaby joins her.]

BARNABY: I’m doing just fine. How are you?

POPPY: I’m good. Julie’s birthday is in a few weeks, I’m planning for that!

BARNABY: ..it’s not for another two months?

POPPY: Yeah, and Julie likes expensive wine.

BARNABY: Ahah!

[There’s a few beats of comfortable silence.]

POPPY: …You sure you doin’ okay?

BARNABY: Hm? Yes? Why do you ask?

POPPY: I’m just worried about you, that’s all. Y’know me.

BARNABY: I do.

[The comfortable silence melts away, a bit of tension filling the air.]

POPPY: Let’s talk about something else.

BARNABY: Let’s!

POPPY: Whatcha readin’ lately?

BARNABY: Lots of historical fiction, mostly.

POPPY: Ooh!

BARNABY: Are you reading anything?

POPPY: Aah.. eeeh…

BARNABY: Haha.. It’s alright. I know it’s not for everyone.

POPPY: Haha. I’m glad to see you’re doin’ alright, Barn.

BARNABY: Thanks for being concerned about me, Partridge.

POPPY: Of course. [Poppy stands.] Never be afraid to call me, Barn.

BARNABY: See you..

[A few bits of silence. Eventually, Barnaby takes in a breath]

BARNABY: Always nice when she visits! How are you doing Darling?

POPPY AND JULIE

[The scene is a table with a cake. The cake has “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE” in pink icing, as well as a glass of wine.]

JULIE: I’m so happy you’re letting me throw my birthday at your place again, Ma!

POPPY: Of course! Why wouldn’t I?

JULIE: Ahaha! Ma, you’re delightful. Seriously, what did we do to deserve such a delightful neighborhood mother?

POPPY: Ya don’t need to do anythin’! I’d do this for anyone. Anyway, let’s talk snacks!

JULIE: Let’s! [Julie is incredibly cheerfully and sing-songy]

POPPY: What ya thinkin?

JULIE: Ooh! [The sound of crumpling paper as she takes something out of her pocket] When I took that quick trip out to the cave, I managed to grab some of my moms old tapas recipes! [She hands the paper to Poppy] It would make me so happy if you could-

POPPY: recreate them?

JULIE: Yes!

POPPY: I’d be delighted! These sound delicious, too! Your mama made these?

JULIE: Mhm! My mom loved cooking, she cooked every chance she got! Any of our birthdays, the-day-after-your-birthday day, the-week-after-your-birthday day, its-a-celebrites-birthday day, fuck-it-I-just-wanna-cook-for-my-kids day.. Any reason!

POPPY: Sounds like she meant a lot to ya.

JULIE: Ah, she did.. She was so sweet. You would’ve loved her, Ma!

POPPY: If it ain’t a sore subject, can I ask how she passed?

JULIE: Natural causes.. She died peacefully in her sleep, and doing what she loved! She made us a delicious feast before she did.. My siblings and I have this joke.. We say she was supposed to die the night before, but asked the angels to give her just one more day to give her kids one last meal.

POPPY: That’s so sweet, Julie.

JULIE: [A small hum as she smiles]

POPPY: I’ll do my best to recreate your moms recpies.. And I’d be happy if you helped me!

JULIE: Oh- Ma! I’d love to!

POPPY: Sounds like a plan. Oh, hey, you wanna help too, Wally?

JULIE AND SALLY

[The scene the outside of Sally’s house. A close up on the chipped purple paint, and a window just barely in view at the top. All the voices are slightly distant]

JULIE: hup- hup!!

SALLY: Huh..?

JULIE: Hey! [Strained] Sorry! I wanted to surprise you, but it is hard to break into your house! Ugh! [A thump is heard as Julie falls inside]

SALLY: [Sally giggles] Are you okay?

JULIE: Perfect. [Julie stands up and poofs her skirt] Okay!

SALLY: What’s in the bag..?

JULIE: It’s a surprise! [She says sing-songy]

[There’s a few beats of tension, Sally’s breath tightening]

JULIE: [Julie rushes to speak again] ..It’s just some ingredients! I wanted to make you some dinner.

SALLY: Oh! …Can I see?

JULIE: Yeah! [Theres some heel clicks as she walks over to Sally, opening her bag and showing her the ingredients]

SALLY: What’s this..?

JULIE: Oh! That’s for me. It’s a Trinidad moruga pepper.

SALLY: What’s this…?

JULIE: Mackerel. You like fish, yeah?

SALLY: I.. think so.

JULIE: How about I cook up a quick sample right now and you can try it? 

SALLY: Oh, okay.

JULIE: Mhm! I’m sure you’ll love it.

SALLY: Hehe..

JULIE: Alright, let me go see if you’re oven still works and- Hey!! [Julie’s heels are heard as she approaches the window and looks outside] Get out of here creeper!!

SALLY: wh-whose there!?

JULIE: Don’t worry! It’s just Wally!

BARNABY AND SALLY

[The scene is a wooden floor.]

[Barnaby can be heard singing.]

BARNABY: Heartaches.. ~ Heartaches..~

BARNABY: My loving you, they're only heartaches~

BARNABY: Your kiss was such a - oh! [He’s interrupted by the phone ringing. He answers.] Good evening. Barns books!

SALLY: ..Hello..?

BARNABY: Hello? [Barnaby is just as confused] Whose this?

SALLY: M..mm…my girlfriend gave me your number..

BARNBAY: [An sound of realization and relief] Hello. You must be Starlet.

SALLY: ..yes..

BARNABY: It’s nice to meet you. My name is Barnaby. Julie has told me a lot about you! What do you need?

SALLY: I just.. I was… I think I’m sick.

BARNABY: Oh! What are your symptoms? [Barnaby pushes some things around his desk, finding a notepad. He clicks a pen.]

SALLY: I just uhm.. M..my heart is beating really fast.

BARNABY: Mhm.. [Barnaby writes it down]

SALLY: and.. I feel really warm..

BARNABY: Mhm.. [He writes it down]

SALLY: and I.. I.. Don’t want to sleep.. Or eat.. Anything..

BARNABY: … [Barnaby stops writing] ..I apologize if this is invasive, but Julie informed me you are an addict. 

SALLY: Oh..

BARNABY: Are you currently under the influence?

SALLY: ..why?

BARNABY: You just described very common symptoms of cocaine abuse.

SALLY: …

BARNABY: ..? Hello?

SALLY: Sorry.

BARNABY: No need to- oh. [Sally hangs up on him] Ah.. Well, she hung up.. I hope she calls back. [He hums in worry] Anywho.. Sorry for that.. Do you need anything, Darling?

EDDIE AND JULIE

[The scene almost looks like a spa. There is nail polish, makeup brushes, an ash tray, and bottle of wine.]

EDDIE: So, then he tells me that the money isn’t enough!

JULIE: [gasps in offense] It’s all you had!

EDDIE: It’s all I had, exactly!

JULIE: What did he want

EDDIE: You’re never gonna believe this.

JULIE: Mm?

EDDIE: He tells me.. He can sell my left arm.

JULIE: No!

EDDIE: Yes!!

JULIE: What the fuck!

EDDIE: Yeah!

JULIE: That’s when you jumped on him?

EDDIE: That’s when I jumped on him, yeah.

JULIE: Mm, absolutely deserved. 

EDDIE: Mhhhm..

JULIE: Want more wine?

EDDIE: Yesss..

[The wine bottle is taken out of sight]

JULIE: Here you aree..

EDDIE: Mm.. Thanks for inviting me to your girls night.. Even though-

JULIE: Girls night is for anyone, babe. Besides, I wanted to hear the story of you making Howdy your bitch again.

EDDIE: [A shocked laugh, the sound of him playfully hitting Julie] Jules!

JULIE: Ah! Haha! You ass I almost spilt my wine!!

EDDIE: Hah! [Eddie snort-laughs]

[They laugh together for awhile, before calming down]

JULIE: so… Why’d you bring him with you?

EDDIE: Huh? Him? Oh.. Frank couldn’t make it and he seemed like a nice substitute.

JULIE: Awwh.. Why couldn’t Frank make it?

[A pink cigarette comes into view and is flicked into the ashtray]

EDDIE: Some sorta lesson with Barn.. I don’t know.. Can I get a cig?

JULIE: Hm? You smoke Rose Butts?

EDDIE: I know, I know, it’s a [Eddie puts on a mocking tone] “Girl Cigeratte”..

JULIE: No, no, you do you, but I’m more surprised you smoke. Here..

EDDIE: God, in this neighborhood? Who doesn’t?

JULIE: Frank.

EDDIE: I- well- that’s fair

JULIE: Wally.

EDDIE: Okay. So the two innocent guys don’t smoke.

JULIE: Barnaby doesn’t smoke.

EDDIE: Okay, shut up.

[Julie giggles, Eddie chuckles with him]

EDDIE: Mm.. Anyways, you wanna do his makeup or something?

JULIE: Ooh! Yeah! Wanna get your makeup done, Wally?

FRANK AND HOWDY

[The scene is Howdy’s store, once again. This time its a view of an apple display.]

[The sound of Frank humming the tune of ‘There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe’]

FRANK: Howdy..

HOWDY: What is it, Nuvola?

FRANK: Do you think Eddie has feelings for mee..?

HOWDY: Hun, I don’t think Eddie has feelings.

FRANK: But- like- do you think he.. Like likes me?

HOWDY: He certainly cares about you more others. [Howdy walks away and begins shelving as he talks to Frank]

FRANK: I mean like.. Like.. if you think I asked him to hang out.. Like hang-out hang-out! He’d.. say yes?

HOWDY: Why are you asking me? Not only have I not been on a date in 12 years, [he sets something on the shelf] but Eddie also despises me, almost as much as I despise him.

FRANK: I know! But you know him super well and you spend a lot of time together! I figured he must’ve told you how he feels about me!

HOWDY: We spend a lot of time together, yeah, but we’re not being all buddy-buddy. He spends time in my store because he’s either blacked out drunk, or in the process of getting blacked out drunk. [He sets another item on the shelf] Or threatening me.

FRANK: Hmm.. [Frank pouts]

HOWDY: Eugh.. Listen, if you wanna know if Eddie likes you, why don’t you just march down to that Pot Office and ask!

FRANK: Because I’m nervousss!! [Frank whines]

HOWDY: You ain’t gonna know unless you ask! Just go down to that damn office, grab Eddie by his ugly face and say, ‘Hey! I like you! You wanna go on a date sometime?’ if he says no, move on! You probably doged a bullet! If he says yes, good for you!

FRANK: But I’m nervous!! [Frank reiterated, his voice cracking]

HOWDY: Then stay nervous! If you ask, you’ll know! If you don’t, you’ll be in a perpetual state of non-closure.

FRANK: [Frank whines again]

HOWDY: Just go! Go ask him!

FRANK: But would if- Hey!

HOWDY: [Howdy pushes him out] Go go! Just go ask him, stop bothering me!

FRANK: Okay okay! I’m going!

HOWDY: Good!

FRANK: Aah! [Frank runs out of the bodega and seemingly towards the Post Office]

HOWDY: Eugh.. Finally!! Damn cloud.. How do you deal with em, Wally?

EDDIE AND SALLY

[The scene is the gravel path, seemingly in front of Sally’s house]

[The sound of Eddie’s military-grade boots approaching]

EDDIE: Hm? Oh, hey bud.. ‘Scuse me..

[The sound of the mailslot opening]

EDDIE: Sally?

[Theres some shuffling inside of her house before Sally appears]

SALLY: hey.

EDDIE: There ya are.. Here, got this for you. Oh- [the sound of a paper bag being snatched]

SALLY: Thanks.

EDDIE: I uh.. I put a sandwich in there for ya.

SALLY: Oh-!

EDDIE: I know you like your noodles.. Thought it would be nice to have.. With the noodles, yknow?

SALLY: Thanks.

EDDIE: Course.. Uh.. Take of yourself, Sally..

SALLY: wait, wait,

EDDIE: hm?

SALLY: You.. Take care of yourself too!

EDDIE: Hah.. yeah, I will.

SALLY: I mean it! You always tell me to take care of yourself but I know you don’t.

EDDIE: …Yeah but I don’t care about me.

SALLY: I care about you.

EDDIE: ..yeah.

SALLY: Okay, you eat a sandwich today.

EDDIE: I will.

SALLY: and I’ll eat mine.

EDDIE: Okay.

SALLY: Okay.. Bye.

[The mailslot closes]

EDDIE: Seeya..

[Beats of silence, some sounds of Eddie kicking the dirt.]

EDDIE: Poor girl, right? [He says, speaking to someone else] ..Do you regularly sit outside her house, Wally?

POPPY AND SALLY

[The scene is some grass, Wally’s hand can be visible laying in it]

POPPY: Saallyy.. Sally? [Poppy’s voice approaches, a small squawk as she almost steps on Wally] Sorry, dear, didn’t see ya. Sally! Ya home?

SALLY: Hello..? [Sallys voice is distant and muffled]

POPPY: Hello!

SALLY: ..[Her voice is closer as she approaches the window. It’s still slightly muffled, as though shes behind a curtain] Whose that?

POPPY: I’m Poppy! You can call me Ma, sweetie. Julie tell ya about me?

SALLY: ..yeah, she has.. What do you want?

POPPY: I was comin’ to invite you to a party-

SALLY: No.

POPPY: Wha? I just figured it’d be nice! Get ya out of the house, meet new people-

SALLY: No thanks.

POPPY: You sure? You just wanna stay inside all day?

SALLY: All my life, actually.

POPPY: Ah.. I.. uhm.. Well. We’re gonna have snacks!

SALLY: Cool..

POPPY: Nachos and chips, and I’m gonna cook dinner for everyone and.. Eh..

SALLY: …Can you bring me some?

POPPY: Wha?

SALLY: I have.. A window in the back, that doesn’t have any glass or a screen or anything.. Can you bring me some food to that?

POPPY: Sure! I’d be down!

SALLY: Thanks… Ma..?

POPPY: Thas the spirit! Sorry I tried to make ya come outside.

SALLY: It’s okay.

POPPY: Well, I’ll see- eh.. Well.. I’ll talk to ya later!

SALLY: Bye. [There’s shuffling inside as Sally leaves]

POPPY: What a sweet girl. You know her, Walls?

POPPY AND EDDIE

[The scene is the floor of the post office. Letters are scattered about, along with pens, pencils, highlighters, and two vodka bottles]

POPPY: Eddie? [Poppy’s voice is overlaid with her claws against the floor] You here?

EDDIE: mmgnnm…

POPPY: Ah, there you are.. What ya doin’ under the table..?

EDDIE: Headache.. [he hiccups]

POPPY: ..so you got under the table

EDDIE: Yup..

POPPY: C’mere dear..

EDDIE: Nooo…

[Some struggle as Poppy attempts to help Eddie to his feet. Eddie sits on the table he was sitting under]

POPPY: You alright?

EDDIE: I’m.. peachy…

POPPY: You need’a throw up?

EDDIE: …no…

POPPY: Alright.. Well.. [Poppy sighs] Let’s see if I can get ya to bed. C’mere..

EDDIE: Nooo..

[Poppy helps Eddie away, theres some struggle and shuffling and Eddie complaining, but they make it eventually. There’s a small ‘pomf’ as Eddie lands on his couch]

POPPY: [her voice distant] There you are hun.. [her voice returns with her claws hitting the floor] Well.. I got em to bed.. Let’s just hope he stays there.. Let’s see if I can get this place cleaned up. Ya mind helpin, Wally?

BARNABY

BARNABY: Ah, then I told Pillar he needed to apologize to poor Dear! But he just went on and on about how he was the one that deserved an apology!

HOME: [Sounds of banging can be heard, sort of like agreeing]

BARNABY: I know! I told him that I couldn’t stay with him- i-in the room, I mean, unless he went and said he was sorry!

HOME: [Shutters creak]

BARNABY: Augh, I know, it’s such a heavy ask.. With how much they’re at each others throats! I don’t even understand what could’ve possibly caused such hatred!

HOME: [Lets out an inquisitive door squeak]

BARNABY: I agree. I think I need to sit down with them both and see what on Earth happened- eh

HOME: [Opens and closes its door judgmentally, cutting Barnaby off]

BARNABY: Wha- What do you mean it’s a bad idea?! I’ll keep them off each other, and-and I’ll make sure Dear leaves his pocket blade outside the library. And-

HOME: [Windows open and shut, a bit like laughter]

BARNABY: Wha!? Oh c’mon! Eddie can survive without his knife for one day! And PIllar won’t be allowed to bring that darned shotgun into the library either! He never has been! I’ve never allowed weapons or-or anything of the sort into the library! In fact, he knows all about it! Don’t you?

…Hello? Little one? Pal?

…Hey, y-you stopped painting..

…Everything alright, Darling?

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

If it’s not too much to ask.. can we get a timeline for the lights out au?

(Not the full story, obviously. Just the bits of the timeline that have already been revealed. I just think it’d been nice to have a neat guide to it all)

oh for sure!

this is gonna be a little clumsy because I have a very bad grasp on time & also math. numbers suck and i hate them. but i Am trying to create a timeline, ill give you the Very basic, Very vague one

~~~~~

1972 / the show is cancelled, and the neighborhood is abandoned in the dark

1973 / Sally starts sleepwalking, Wally loses his eye

1975 / Wally starts exploring beyond the set

1980 / Barnaby loses his arm

1986 / The Divorce™️ happens

2007 / Frank wakes up

2013 / Poppy wakes up. Frank starts getting worse

2015 / Howdy wakes up. They barricade Sally in her house.

2016 / Eddie, Julie, and Barnaby wake up. Arc One ends.

~~~~~

aaaand not going into the other three arcs. the second is still nebulous, the third is soooo spoilery even though Does That Really Matter?, and the fourth is a mix of both.

sorry this isn't as in depth! aus aren't a high priority for me, so they're more like little side thinkings i tinker with when my main Interests start to get burnt out. keeps me fresh!

[wumblr]

vanilla production facts

it is an orchid

the flower blooms one day per year and must be manually pollinated. pollination causes the base of the flower to swell almost immediately, from there it takes weeks to develop into a seed pod

vanilla costs about $300/lb. this being the pulp of the fruit itself, the extract we are familiar with is dilute. second only to saffron for expense. the price also tends to fluctuate greatly depending on the abundance of any given year's crops

there are three strains of cultivated vanilla. cultivation dates as far back as the totonac people in the 12th century, who live in present day veracruz, on the eastern coast of mexico. the olmecs may have also used wild vanilla in cooking thousands of years earlier

vanilla was cultivated in european botanical gardens but not really used much for 300 years after the colombian invasion of mesoamerica until finally some idiot realized the melipona bee doesn't live there, which may not have even been the correct type of bee (possibly euglossine)

five years later (1841) a 12-year-old slave named edmond albius on the island of reunion figured out how to manually pollinate the flowers, which is an extremely delicate and difficult process. some french botanist claimed to have invented this process, and people believed him for over a century

the aroma doesn't develop until after the seed pod is harvested and processed. it must be sorted, graded, blanched, then alternately sweated and dried for 15-30 days. the blanching halts fermentation, which makes one wonder, what is a fermented vanilla seed pod like?

synthetic vanillin is derived from eugenol, from clove oil, and lignin, from any number of sources. the vast majority of synthetic vanilla is made from wood creosotes which occur as a product of lignin pyrolysis (fire). its major source is, like anything, the petrochemical industry, which requires heat to fractionally distill oil into several byproducts (kerosene, naphtha, gasoline, etc). which is to say, 85% of synthetic vanilla is made from the wood smoke of the oil industry. you might be inclined to ask "doesn't this pollute" which, if you recapture the smoke to sell its particulate creosotes to synthetic vanilla producers, no, i guess not really, or "why don't they use oil to heat the oil" because it is more profitable to sell the oil and burn wood to make it, obviously

it is difficult to tell the difference between natural and synthetic vanilla in baked goods, because the baking process burns off the distinctive notes, most of which differ by growing region (tahitian vanilla is floral, indonesian vanilla is smoky, mexican vanilla is woody or spicy, bourbon vanilla from reunion has an alcoholic richness)

price markup occurs not at the point of farming, but after the point of curing. there is no set price for green vanilla beans, but there is a set price for dried vanilla beans, after they have passed through several middlemen from farmer to broker to curing. after this point, they are marked up several more times before finally making it to grocery store shelves in the form of bottled extract

in 2017 a cyclone destroyed maybe 30-80% of madagascan vanilla crops, where possibly as much as 60-80% of the global supply of vanilla is grown. in the 5 years since then, the price has not recovered, but boy howdy, have the labels gotten more fancy in specifying when it's from madagascar, haven't they?

70% of madagascar lives below the poverty line, despite the island producing the majority of the world's supply of the second most expensive spice

by volume, the number of vanilla beans imported to the united states every year is nearly two for every single member of the population (~640m, for a ~330m population)

anyway stop pouring a whole bottle of it into a cup for a joke what the fuck is wrong with you people i hope to god that ibuprofen potion post was staged with some vaguely brown liquid. also the word vanilla etymologically derives from the latin vagina meaning sheath ok bye

[candyrockpop]

Howdy Pillar X Gender Neutral Reader Part 2

CW/TW— None, just cute Howdy Pillar content!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Howdy couldn't help but think of how pretty you looked, but he didn't like that you looked so upset. So when he went up to you and you told him about your date standing you up he just knew he had to help you. He was happy you were willing to go on a date with him, in the end. He didn't think you would since people usually don't like him since he's a puppet. They try, then they end up standing him up since they can't come to terms with him being a puppet.

Gods, he almost couldn't stop looking at you the whole night, even when you teased him about what he ordered from the restaurant. He loved the slight flush that appeared on your cheeks when he teased you back, and how you smiled and laughed. You were so kind, and you were just everything he ever wanted.

Both of you were sad when the night came to an end, him walking you home. He didn't care how far it was, he wanted to make sure you were safe. You talked the entire way, asking questions and telling stories back and forth. He had to catch you before you fell from laughing too hard when he told of Wally taking apples from his store. He didn't see what was so amusing, but he was just happy to hear your laughter so he didn't mind.

He went home that night with your phone number in his phone and a promise to message or call you. He was advised to text, since you didn't care for calls that much, so he did just that. Two nights later, after building his confidence and calming his nerves, he messaged you.

[304-672-9961] Hello! It's me, Howdy!

[Bug] Oh, hey Howdy! You waited an awful long time, almost didn't think you'd message.

  [Bug] changed [304-672-9961]'s name to

Pillar Man🐛

[Pillar Man🐛] I'm sorry, I was very nervous!

[Bug] Oh gee, it's alright! I was nervous myself.

[Pillar Man🐛] You were? Golly that's nice to hear. I was hoping that maybe we could go on another date?

[Pillar Man🐛] Only if you're comfortable, of course!

[Bug] I'd love to go on another date with you! When and where?

His face flushed and he smiled. He actually got to go on another date with you!

[Pillar Man🐛] You choose, since I chose last time!

[Bug] Okay, how about Thursday at, maybe 7 o'clock? P.M. I feel I should clarify. We can meet nearby, at the park?

[Pillar Man🐛] Oh, that sounds lovely! I shouldn't dress up fancy, should I?

[Bug] Oh, gods no! No matter how good you look in a suit, they just aren't all that comfortable.

[Pillar Man🐛] Oh my, well alright! I'll see you then, I suppose!

[Bug] Bye, Howdy.

His face was so flushed, oh dear! You thought he looked good in a suit! Two of his hands came up to hide his face, but the other two couldn't help but stim. He was so happy and excited! He hoped he could keep going on dates with you, maybe be in a relationship one day. He sighed at the thought, being able to just be happy with you and give you hugs and kisses and-

Oh dear, he didn't know his cheeks could get any warmer. He needed to calm down a moment so his cheeks could cool down, too.

Hello! Sorry it took me so long to get this part out despite it being so short. I didn't know what to do for it, and I ended up cycling through a few ideas before this came into existence.

I will be making a part three, and I hope you enjoyed!

[bunnithebard]

Through The Walls

Chapter 3: Fade To Black

[Masterlist][Chapter 2][Chapter 4]

You were probably certifiably insane.

Or at least a little looney.

You had taken to wanting to buy "gifts" for your Cryptid Neighbor after the Treaty of Cookies (as you had taken to calling it, for some reason). It was like leaving food out for the feral cats (which you also did; there was an orange boy cat who was getting stupid enough to trust you and you were antsy for the day he let you pet him).

After cookies you had decided to leave a scented candle.

You had gone to Bradley's Big Buy and they had these cedar scented candles that smelled exactly like the forest on a warm day. It was silly, but you had grabbed two and a gift bag with a dumb card. You had sat in your car and stared at the flimsy cardboard with a picture of Garfield in a bow-tie. The inside was blank, but the cartoon cat reminded you of the feral cat you loved, so you had grabbed it without a second thought. 

You clicked the pen you had stolen from work over and over, staring at the blank page and willing thoughts to come.

You sighed heavy through your nose, mumbling a quiet, "Fuck it" as you scribbled your name and phone number with the dumb message 'howdy neighbor'.

Shoving the card into the shiny blue plastic gift bag next to the cedar candle, you walked up to your Cryptid Neighbor's door and stared at your shoes. Was this weird? Probably… but they kinda felt like your first friend here in Hawkins. And you had been hanging out more with Nancy and her gang, so you, weirdly, didn't want your neighbor to feel left out. 

Setting the bag down you stepped a few inches away, steeling your nerves and knocking three times before running to your apartment as fast as you could.

You had managed to open the door just as you heard theirs open and you swung yourself inside and shut the door with a loud 'BANG', startling yourself.

"Jesus Christ." You breathed, heart hammering in your chest. "Why the fuck am I like this?" You mumbled, shaking your head as you removed your coat and swung your grocery bag onto your couch.

"Shave And A Hair Cut"

You smiled, feeling your ears heat up and a giggle escape at the sound of yours and your Cryptid Neighbor's call and response song. 

You skipped over and slid your hands against the wall, tapping "Two Bits" with the back of your knuckle.

You had lit up your candle that night and scooted a pillow over to the lower vent in the corner of your apartment. You knew it was connected to your neighbor’s room, and you often wondered about if you were to speak into it, if they would hear you. But you were too nervous to try. 

Instead, you set the candle on a plate (so it wasn’t directly on the shitty carpet) and you laid your head on a pillow close to the vent. You could hear the muffled sounds of them moving, a few grunts and sighs. Then you heard them start to play on their electric guitar. They diddled around with a few chords, playing the start of a few songs–one you recognized as ‘Runnin’ With the Devil’ by Van Halen. 

You smiled, rereading the same line from your book a few times before setting it down and letting yourself close your eyes and simply smell the woods from your warm candle and listen to the sounds of your Cryptid Neighbor as they strummed to unnamed songs.

Before you realized, you had fallen asleep.

When you awoke, it was with a start. Your arms slammed underneath you and pushed you up like you were doing a push-up. You took deep ravenous breaths, your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you stared unseeing at your surroundings. You blinked a few times, gulping sweet air before glancing over to see your candle still lit, flame flickering and dancing as you breathed towards it. 

You groaned, sitting up and feeling your spine creak and your muscles groan at having slept on the floor for an odd number of hours. You rubbed your shoulders, leaning down and blowing out the candle. Wisps of grey smoke meandered around you reminding you of watered-down camp fires and wishes on birthdays.

The music had stopped, you glanced at your window and saw the sun was up. 

Your neighbor was probably asleep. 

You sighed and picked up your candle plate, setting it onto the dresser top next to your TV.

You rubbed between your eyes, pushing into the sockets with a groan as a migraine started to form. You pulled the black out curtains over top of the sheer ones, dousing the room into darkness before you slumped onto your twin bed over the covers, too exhausted to pull them out from under you.

You were within the veil of mostly asleep but not quite awake when you heard something.

It sounded familiar, like the ghost of a voice you recognized.

It was low, sultry almost, and rang out in a question. The words were muffled, like from under water, and you waved one of your hands behind you as if a bug was buzzing in your ear and you tried to swat it away.

"You there?" You thought you heard, but you just groaned lowly into your pillow, willing your mind to rest. 

"Shave and a Haircut"

Your eyes snapped open and you looked to the vent–well, where you think it was considering it was dark as fuck with the blackout curtains drawn.

"Hello?"

The voice called out again and you let out a surprised squeak, crawling from your bed and grunting when you hit your knee against your bed post. You switched on the lamp that was next to your dresser and stared down at the vent, holding your breath.

You heard the drip of your bathroom sink and the wind outside whisper through the trees and then–

"Are you okay?"

The voice was male, low and throaty and colored with concern.

You dropped to the floor, wincing when you hit your bruised knee again and you knelt so your face was next to the vent. "...Hello?" You made a face at the sound of your croaky voice, still cloudy with sleep. 

There was another pause.

"Hi." This time he was shyer, voice softer, and the dulcet tone sent a shiver down your spine. Your face heated at your reaction.

"Huh-hi." You stuttered. Hitting your forehead with the palm of your hand. What the fuck dude??

"Are you okay? I thought I heard you screaming." He tapered off towards the end, unsure but still worried.

You felt like melting. He was checking in on you. Like a friend. Maybe this strange dynamic you've concocted within the absurdity that was your mind went both ways a little. Maybe he cared cause he felt the weird connection, too?

"Yeah, I-I'm okay. Just uh… just had a nightmare." You bit your lip, staring at the vent and wondering if you should ask. 'How were the cookies?', 'Did you like the candle?', 'I promise I'm not creepy, do you believe me??'.

"... Thanks for the candle."

You hiccuped. Blinking owlishly at the vent.

A smile spread across your lips and you laid down fully on the floor. "Did you like the smell?"

A beat. You heard him grunt and sigh, "Yeah. It's woodsy. I haven't been in the woods in a while, so it was nice." 

You kicked your feet giddily, "I'm glad." You felt like you were a teenager talking to your crush, "Did you like the cookies? I got them from some weird block party."

He chuckled and your eyelids fluttered shut. God the sounds he made were gorgeous.

"You tellin' me you let me eat weird cookies?" His undertone of teasing made you grin.

"I mean, they were from a weird block party, they themselves weren't weird." You paused, picking at your nails nervously, "But I could make you weird cookies if you want."

He snorted and you muffled your laughter with your hands, "If you can manage to make anything in this rinky dink oven, I'd be thoroughly fucking impressed." 

You smirked, "That a challenge?"

There was a moment of silence and you worried your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Hell yeah it is."

You had to look at the Better Homes And Garden magazines that were in the hospital waiting room to try and find a cookie recipe. All of them were a few months old, so the best sugar cookies for Easter were what you were aiming for. The icing looked the easiest, you were just debating what to shape them as, since they were supposed to be weird.

You also had to stop back at the store on your way home for the rest of the ingredients and to buy a cookie sheet. You had pulled a double so you were exhausted, but you were too fucking excited to make these damn cookies to try and sleep just yet.

As soon as you walked into your apartment you knocked on the wall with your customary rhythm and Eddie answered.

You felt elated at learning his name. 

You had repeated it in your head all night long. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Your phone rang and you ran to it, letting your grocery bag fall to the floor next to your tiny kitchen counter. 

You put the headset to your ear and blinked nervously, "... Hello?"

"Hey."

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

You bit your lip and leaned your hip against the counter top. "You made me a vandal." You giggled, twisting your finger around the rubbery cord.

He chuckled and your stomach flipped. God you need to get laid if just the sounds of this man's voice got you going.

"I didn't make you do anything, sweetheart."

You dropped your head back and silently mouthed 'oh my god' into the air. Really really needed to get laid.

You pulled the phone back to your ear and hummed thoughtfully. "'Twas you who challenged me to a cookie duel, thus I was forced to rip a page out of the Better Homes and Gardens magazine in my work lobby. Therefore: you are the problem, not me."

He laughed loudly, a throw your head back kind of laugh that tickled your insides and made you want to make him do it again. 

"I offer to the lady that if your cookies are acceptable, then the vandalism will be worth it and none are to be blamed and I shall be celebrated as the one who brought deliciousness to the realm." He had taken on a hauty British accent. You giggled madly.

"Alright alright, Lord Butthead–are you ready to have the most okayest cookies ever?"

Your phone bill would be astronomical.

You both talked for hours about anything and everything. Whatever nonsense popped into each other's brains became the topic of conversation. 

You had asked what his favorite marsupial was and he said kangaroo cause it was the only one he could remember, but he does think he's seen a picture of one in boxing gloves. Did you see Rocky? Nah, I don't really like action movies, but I know enough to know that he punched a bunch of meat and ran up some stairs. What kind of movies do you like then? All kinds, I really like B-rated sci-fi or horror because they tend to either have really cool props and plots, or really bad and either way makes for a fun time. What was the craziest thing you did as a kid? One time I set off fireworks in the locker rooms. Holy shit did anyone get hurt? Nah, but they never caught me!

A stream of consciousness that you never wanted to end. 

And the cookies were turning out pretty good, too. The oven took forever and a half to pre-heat, and the cookie sheet barely fit, but you managed not to burn them. Eddie had given you a well-earned golf clap and you bowed telling him you were doing so as you did it.

"How weird we talking Sweetheart?"

You giggled under your breath, holding the phone between your shoulder and cheek while you squeezed a pastry bag. "Let's just say I'm really amused by the dumbest things and I apologize for nothing."

"...

"Did you bake a bunch of dick cookies?"

You cackled, proud of the veins you put on some and the icing that ran down the balls like they had just cum.

"And a vagina one! But that one is more because it spread out too far when it was baking." You tried to defend yourself between giggles.

He chuckled on the other end and you bounced excitedly, finishing up a few more penises before moving onto the vagina. "Now remember when you eat my vagina, start with the clitoris!"

You squeezed your eyes shut and dropped the icing to the counter, "I actually want to die, why did you let me say that, out loud, with my dumb mouth?"

Eddie was gasping on the other line, unable to form a sentence through his laughter. You scowled, picking up the piping bag to finish the damn vagina cookie.

"I bet this one tastes the best too! So yuk it up all you want, mister, but," you but your lip, "My vagina will taste delicious!"

You dissolved into giggles alongside Eddie. 

Your face hurt from smiling.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

He caught his breath, sighing dramatically into the phone and humming softly, "You know what sweetheart, I'm really excited to taste your vagina cookie."

You felt your face heat up and you ducked your chin to your chest, biting your lip to stop from smiling. "Fucking better be, this tiny ass oven sucks."

He barked out another laugh. "I am excited. No one's ever made me cookies before."

You looked at the phone, eyebrows furrowed. You brought the phone back to your ear, "You're kidding. Really?"

"Yup!" He popped the p, "You're the first." He groaned and it sounded like he was laying down, you heard a bump against the wall you shared and you figured there was a couch or something there.

You hummed, smiling softly. "Well, I'm honored, and I really hope you enjoy my bag of dicks."

He snorted.

[PREVIOUS CHAPTER][NEXT CHAPTER]

[ro-botany]

this may be a tiny bit self serving and i dont know if youve made a post about it already… but if you have chrom’s height, do you know how tall robin is? awakening put them at about the same height model wise but robins been consistently shown as shorter in media after that (fe:h, engage, smash bros, etc.). how much taller is chrom in engage?

I haven't made a post about this already, somehow! I've been so focused on dragon forms I forgot about not-dragon-form Robin. :P

Awakening gave Robin not one but SIX possible heights. All three body variations for each gender gets a different model scaling value, and no two are the same. Which incidentally is why I use Chrom as my ruler for other Awakening models, and not Robin. You can never truly be sure which body type is canon to any given Robin...

The medium male Robin is in fact the same height as Chrom in Awakening; the tall male and female bodies are taller than Chrom; and then the small male and female bodies, as well as the medium female body, are all shorter.

Kinda makes me wonder if that's the reason they make Robin shorter than Chrom in all their subsequent appearances. Looked at these numbers and went "eh, on average Robin's shorter".

ANYWAY. ENGAGE HEIGHTS. I gotcha covered. Same methods as usual; port into Blender and graft on feet, apply scaling values, measure on the Z-axis, grab the Fogado-Byleth conversion factor, calculate the heights.

(The sheer visual difference... I haven't bothered to give the characters in the original Measuring File my fancy engage shaders, and boy howdy can you tell.)

In Engage, Robin is about 5' 6"! Chrom has a bit over half a foot of height on him at 6' 2".

As an interesting side note; the difference between Engage Chrom and Robin's heights is pretty much exactly the height difference between Awakening Chrom and Robin's short male body type. Robin's height in Engage is 89.7% of Chrom's, compared to short male Awakening Robin's 90%.

No matter what the hair style says, short male body type Robin is canon to Engage. I rest my case.