#and number three is howdy

[spencewalterreid]

The Red Means I Love You

Summary: Spencer came into the restaurant you work at when you were in a bad mood, but nonetheless he has to see you again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female First-person POV

Category: Fade to Black Smut (TV-14)

Warnings: dirty talk, switch!Reid!!! switch!Reader, first person pronouns no use of y/n, date nights,hair pulling, neeeerd spencer, reader works at a truck stop, fade to black smut, smooches, second base. I think that should be it?

Word count: 4.3k

Author's Note: Hello again ladies!! I'm not sure how I haven't yet come across a riff fic off of Spencer and Cat's scenes, but here it is!! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they were a good pair, but the way their characters played off of one another was positively scrumptious. Here's an indulgence into that.

The first time it happened, I was working a 14-hour shift at a truck stop diner. I’d started my shift right out of school, and I was working until the next morning. Just an hour before he’d come in, we were slammed – every table in the store was full, and I’d only just gotten all the tables bussed. I was exhausted, my manager was hounding me, and I was on the verge of a full-blown breakdown. When refilling a Dr. Pepper for the jackass at table 32 who I had to argue with over the burger that he specifically requested onions on, I glanced up at the door as the bells rang. Oh.

He is... stunning.

My attention was abruptly yanked out of my daydream about the gorgeous boy that had just walked in with a handful of other people, and I looked down at my right hand wrapped around the plastic cup, which is now cold and drenched in the sticky beverage. Goddamn it.

“Boys, are you dining in?” I asked cheerfully as I grabbed a new straw, a smile plastered across my face. Stay professional. Stay professional. Stay professional.

“Yeah, we’ve got–” he paused to turn around and count heads– “six,” said one of the three men. Not the pretty one, though he was by no means ugly. He was tall, but not the tallest of the group (that title belonged to the one that caught my eye), with broad muscles laced under dark skin. He had a great smile. 

I glance back at table 32, who was rolling his eyes at the few-second delay. “Wherever you like,” I reply, swiftly returning to this grumpy-ass trucker. “Your refill, sir! Anything else I can get for you?”

He blatantly ignores me.

“If you change your mind, just holler,” I added, and as I turned to walk away:

“You can get me a new fuckin’ burger, this one got cold while I was waiting for you to finish flirting.” He slammed the second burger I’d brought to him back down onto the tray. Fuck you, dude. I’m already getting chewed out by the kitchen, but cool! Yeah! Okay!

“Yes, sir. I apologize, I’ll be right back out.” As I walked away with his tray, shifting it between fingers so as not to scald my fucking hand, I let a subtle sigh escape from my lungs.

10 seconds at the door. 30 seconds at the table. 15 minutes for food. 1 minute to bus.

I remind myself for the umpteenth time today of what’s supposed to be the restaurant policy. That had been out the door since 4:30 that afternoon and it is now… I glanced at the clock above the window as I slid the tray back onto it… 12:57 in the morning. Sick. Can’t wait to see the reviews.

“What was wrong with it this time?” The chef snapped, yanking the tray back.

“I’m just as annoyed as you are, I promise. He said it got cold. Just…”

She cuts me off. “Leave it there for a few minutes and come back. I’m not making a whole new burger.”

I did not roll my eyes, thank you very much.

Wheeling around on the balls of my feet and carefully controlling my breath, I picked up 6 menus and a matching number of silverware on the way to the round booth the group had settled into. I flipped on a positive tone to greet them. “Howdy, howdy! How are you folks-”

“Just say the word, and I’ll see him out,” the dark man interjected. The rest stared at him in partly shock, partly reprimand. I think the silver-haired one was his superior, he was carrying the ‘don’t interrupt her, asshole’ look.

“Uhm, sorry?” I glanced around the mostly-empty store, divvying up the hardware on the table in the meantime.

“The old fuck over there. If you want him to leave, I’ll make it happen.” He crossed his arms over his chest, looking me dead in the eyes. I chuckled uncomfortably.

“No, that’s okay.” I have a feeling he was not kidding. I swept my eyes along the table to make eye contact with each person as I introduced myself, but I risked a few seconds longer for the boy on the far left. “I’m gonna be your server tonight. You folks know what you’d like to drink?”

They rattled off their drink orders one by one (The dark-haired woman asked for scotch and I’m only a little sure she wasn’t being serious, and the one with the colourful clothing almost squeaked in joy when she saw strawberry lemonade on the menu), but the sweet-looking boy on the end took the longest.

“Sir?” I nudged, tilting my head down to catch his gaze under his hair.

“Yes, uh, what kind of coffee do you serve?” he inquired, pushing his menu in front of him on the table, trying to straighten the edge flush against the side of the table.

I stammered. “It’s just black coffee…” I replied uncertainly, glancing at the other members of the group.

“They don’t serve frappuccinos, Reid. Do you want the coffee or not?” the second blonde woman sighed, and I think she was probably just as far down her rope as I was. That slips from my mind, though, at the mention of his name. Reid. Cute.

“No, I just meant the roast,” he clarified, but at the uncomfortable look on my face, he conceded. “Yeah. Black coffee, please.”

If he slumped any further down, I think the booth would swallow him.

—-—-

The second time it happened, he caught me on a better day. Our breakfast rush wasn’t too bad, and I actually had a second server helping me that day. It was almost noon, and I was feeling far lighter than I was the last time. When I glanced up at the chime by the door, a smile far more genuine than last time crossed my face.

“Hello again!” I chirped, wiped my hands on my apron, and pretended not to notice his flinch. “Just you today?”

He returned my smile, albeit feeble. “Yes. It’s just me.” 

“It’s Reid, right?” Grabbing a menu and silverware, I followed him over to the same booth he’d occupied with the other five people last time.

“No, I- Well, yes. Derek uses my surname. It’s Spencer,” he replied, sinking into the fake leather and glancing around the store. “It’s busier than last time.”

Setting the menu in front of him, I followed his gaze. “Well, yeah, it was the middle of the night.”

“The coffee was Colombian roast with hazelnut,” he said. Huh? “You seemed confused when I asked what kind it was.” He nodded, like he was trying to remind himself. “That’s what it was.”

“Oh.” Did his lips look that soft last time? His sleeves are folded up his arms this time. “Your hair looks pretty,” I said before I could stop myself. Shut up, shut up, shut- “It matches your eyes.” My smile softens the compliment, but I don’t think that made him any less confused.

“T-thank you,” he replied softly, pushing it back on instinct. Change the topic.

“Do you, uhm.” I clear my throat and shift my weight. “Would you like a coffee, then?”

He shook his head with a grimace. “Absolutely not. It was awful.”

He’s funny. I guess I didn’t throw him too far off-course.

“Why did you order it, then?” I asked, not unkindly. He turned pink. Pretty.

“I didn’t want to make you more stressed than you already were.” Reid– No. Spencer adjusted the strap of his cross-body bag. 

“Did I seem stressed?” I asked, quickly chancing a look behind me to check for my manager. We’re in the clear.

“Ye- No, not like that. I’m, uh. I’m trained to read people well. You were walking at an abnormally quick pace, and you kept looking around when you were at other tables, even though there were very few, as though any second you’d be pulled away." He straightened slightly, setting his shoulders, as if he were in his element, but he still doesn't look at me, his eyes cast down. "When you were filling our drinks, you poured some out and refilled it more than once, which I assume was to achieve a perfect ratio, or at least one you perceive as such. And–” he looked up from his menu that I’m positive he wasn’t reading to look me in the eyes. “And the man at table 32 was being very curt with you. That would cause stress. Your manager behind the window wasn’t making it any better, I bet.”

I scoffed incredulously. “Good memory,” I said with a smile. “That was impressive. Yeah, I wasn’t in the best mood that night.” My voice lowered to a conspirational whisper, but I didn’t let my facial expression change. “But you helped. You have no idea how far a little bit of kindness goes. And hey, I never got the chance to tell you I was sorry for messing up your order.”

Spencer shook his head, stretching and relaxing his fingers above the table for something to do. “It was just a salad. I just took the tomatoes off, it was no problem.”

I smiled softly. He’s so sweet. “Do you know what you’d like to drink, Spencer Reid?”

He let himself genuinely laugh. “Good memory,” he repeats, an air of light-hearted sarcasm to his tone. “I’d like a sweet tea with lemon and– actually. I know I shouldn’t ask, and you absolutely do not have to answer, but uhm… when do you have a lunch break? Maybe we could-”

“Right now. I’ll be right back,” I replied, taking off my apron and walking to the back to alert my manager (thankfully, different than the overnight one.) They could manage without me for an hour. I was not passing him up a second time.

——

The third time it happened, we were on our third date. Spencer wanted to go to a museum, I wanted to do something a bit more interactive. We agreed on an aquarium.

“Actually, Parrotfish are one of my least favourite of the wrasse family, and definitely least favourite of the Labridae,” he countered when I insisted their colours were pretty.

“I didn’t say they were my favourite, Reid, I said they were pretty."

“No, I know, but I’m just saying.” He was practically vibrating, balling a fist and unballing it, and I could tell he needed to tell me number 1,001 of his facts in the last hour.

I sighed, an affectionate smile on my face as I turned around and leaned on the rocky wall. “Why are they one of your least favourites?”

Reid offered me a toothy grin. “The parrotfish has a tendency to coat itself in a bubble of its own mucus and saliva in order to protect itself from parasites and predators. It’s intended to mask their scent. Many refer to it as an underwater sleeping bag,” he explained with a grimace. Oh, that’s why. “I’m positive it only spreads bacteria, and if fish could get sick in the same way as homosapiens, they would all be sick all of the time.”

“You know, not for nothing, but I wouldn’t mind your saliva all over me.”

“Ugh! Gross!” Spencer staggered backward, glaring at me. “Don’t say things like that.”

I pout. “You’re not even a little curious what I taste like, Dr. Reid?” I stalked up to him, mocking a femme fatale in one of those cheesy black-and-white spy movies.

“Stop it.” He swallowed thickly and when I went to lay my hands on the sides of his neck, his instinctively found my hips. He glanced at my lips. I stared at his.

“Make me,” I whispered, deciding eye contact was a better choice. Good god, his face was red.

His mouth parted slightly and he squeezed my hips, then adjusted his bag. “Enough,” he asserts, and I’d be lying if that didn’t turn me on. In all honesty, I was totally doing a bit and I was just about to back off anyway, but yeesh. For the sake of my own sanity, I giggled and pushed off of him. He sighed in relief.

“Fish can get sick,” I said, changing the topic back to what he'd said about the parrotfish to ease his nerves. When he took more than a half a second to reply, I started to doubt myself. “Can’t they?”

“Well, yes, but not… not ill. They can’t have a sickness like we can. They just feel sick. Like, if they swim upside down, or have issues breathing, or if the water quality is poor.”

I pushed myself off the wall and linked a finger around the strap of his bag, dragging him along behind me. “Alright, last section. Lock and load, you’ve got…” I glanced at my phone. “13 minutes to give me as many facts as you can. Go.”

–

Spencer insisted (according to Date Etiquette 101 from Professor Derek Morgan) that on the third date, he had to take me to a romantic dinner. He still wants to stop by his apartment to get changed, so we’re on the way there now, and have 1 hour, 42 minutes and counting to get to our reservation. I brought a bag with makeup and a change of clothes so I could get done up too and not have to go all the way across town to my place.

Y'know, you wouldn't think it, but he's really a reckless driver. It isn't that he doesn't understand the rules of the road or how to follow them. It's more that he knows them well enough that he feels confident in breaking them. It's kinda sexy. He drives with his left hand only barely touching the wheel and his right hand in mine. It took him a long time of being around me to be okay with physical contact, but now that he's to that point, he's incredibly clingy. He turns a 25-minute drive into 18, and I guarantee that's only because there was a fair amount of traffic.

–

“Are you almost ready?” I hear a rustling sound on the other side of the door, then a muffled, soft scraping noise that suggests he just sat on the floor (which by the way, is clean enough you could eat off of it) against the door. I’m in his room also sitting on the floor, utilizing a full-body mirror against his wall, carefully tweaking my eyeliner. Reid didn’t want to see me before the date, said it was bad luck. It’s strange what he chooses to be superstitious about.

“Almost. 1 minute.” I lean back, raking my fingers through my hair and checking my appearance. Not to toot my own horn, but toot fucking toot, I look downright strapping. “Okay!”

Just as the word leaves my mouth, the bedroom door is flying open and he’s barrelling in, but he stops dead in his tracks as he sees me. “Wow.”

I spin in a little circle, my black, mid-thigh corset dress making a dome around me. “You like?”

Spencer approaches slowly, his eyes scanning me head to toe, right to left, and everything in between. “You… are magnificent.” His fingers twitch when he’s about a foot away from me as though he wants to touch me but chickens out. I gently take his hands and place them on my hips, emboldening him to slide his touch upward, over my waist and around to my back. I pretend not to notice his repeated glances at my breasts, as does he.

“Et toi, mon amour,” I reply, a fresh grin painted across my lips. “You look hot.”

He makes a sour face. “You ruined it.”

My jaw drops and I take a step back, feigning offence. His grip falls from my sides. “Fuck did I do? I can’t call you hot now? I’ve said that a thousand times, calm down.”

“I was being a gentleman,” he pouts. “You’re just being crude.”

“That’s not crude, Dr. Reid. If you want crude-”

“No! No, don’t do that. Save it.” He chuckles, stepping forward again and putting his hands right back where they were. I don’t stop him. “Just hush.”

I let him look at me for a few seconds, and I, him. Just a few until I started getting squeamish under the scrutiny. “Okay. Enough, we need to go,” I interject, pressing against his chest gently with my fingers splayed out. With a glance at the clock behind me, he nods.

“Après toi, ma chérie.”

–

Fancy, fancy FBI boyfriend-not-boyfriend rented out a whole room for us. Candle in the middle of a two-seater table, a window into the main room so we can see what’s going on, and a record player in the corner. The decor is upscale, but not obnoxiously proud. Lots of wood, mostly dark, but light walls. He even goes so far as to pull out my chair for me. 

We’re almost to the end of our meal and I’m taking pin-sized bites to try and draw out the time it takes to finish my lava cake. Reid has already called me out for it twice, but I have blatantly ignored him.

“Spencer,” I begin, cutting off a conversation about the history behind the Hays code and its relevance in a specific episode of Supernatural.

“Hm?” He straightens up, clearing his throat.

“I have a stupid question. You don’t have to answer it.”

“Go ahead.”

“What was your first impression of me?” My voice is low, unsure. I have time to cross my legs, then uncross them, then look at him, then back at my lap before he begins to reply.

“I thought you were pretty. You seemed agitated,” he says, slow, haltingly, like he isn’t sure if that’s the answer I wanted. It wasn’t.

“No, after that. When we started going out. What kind of person do you think I am?”

Spencer hums, folding his hands and leaning back. The seconds tick by like minutes, and god he looks delectable.

“You’re self-assured and conduct yourself as though you think you’re the greatest person in the world. You hand out compliments like candy and you flirt like you’re dying tomorrow because you want people to find you exciting. You think you have to have major sex appeal to attract a partner, which isn’t true, it’s actually quite off-putting.”

“You think having major sex appeal is off-putting?” I interrupt.

“No, I think overdoing it to the point of-”

“I’m not overdoing it! It’s just the way I am.”

“I’m not saying-”

“It’s just that-”

“If you’d stop interrupting me, I’d answer your question.”

I shut my mouth. That was hotter than it needed to be.

“Thank you. As I was saying, it’s clear to others, or at least to me, that you do not feel that way about yourself in the slightest. For the sake of honesty and because I always answer your questions to the fullest of my abilities, I’d say you find yourself almost repulsive."

My stomach twists. Does he find me repulsive? Why would he think I feel that way? Better question: How does he know I feel that way?

"When you first began getting into relationships, you were probably up-front about that because you didn’t know any better, but quickly learned people internalize what you tell them. So, to combat that reaction, you started acting like all you wanted from people was sex so it didn’t matter whether they liked you or not, which led to a lot of meaningless flings that left you feeling worse than you did when you were single.”

If my jaw were any lower, it’d be on the floor. I swallow my arguments.

“Tell me more about my sex life, then, Dr. Reid. Since you know so much.” I’m hoping he knows me well enough to know I didn’t mean that to be as bitter as it sounded. He does.

“You project dominance because you fear loss of control, not to mention your hatred of your own body. You wouldn't ever want to be the receiver in a sexual situation, or at least you wouldn't ask for it for worry of your partner finding you less-than-satifactory."

I fight the urge to ask if he'd feel that way, even if I know his answer.

"You only lightly dabble in more aggressive sexual habits, but your enthusiasm whether or not it comes across as joking suggests there’s more truth in it than you’d like for there to be.” He pauses, and I’m not sure whether it’s because he’s trying to remember his next line or it’s because I distracted him when I leaned forward to lean my chin against my palm. I forgot how much of my cleavage this dress shows. He licks his lips and moves on more elegantly than I thought he would. I take advantage of his silence.

“What about you, Dr. Reid?”

He blinks. “What?”

“What about your sexual habits?”

“I, uhm-”

I stand up and walk over to him, placing my hand on his shoulder before I settle on his knee. His hand goes to my thigh nearest to him and he catches my eyes, careful not to look away.

“Well?”

His composure repairs itself like magic.

“It depends on my partner,” he says, his voice lower than it was before, and I swear his eyes are darker than they were a few minutes ago. “I tend to let my partner set the pace. I can embrace aggression if the circumstance proves it necessary.”

Holy shit.

This, my dear reader, was the third time I thought: I’d really like to see just how red I could make you.

“What about me?” I ask, my throat dry. I think I’m more nervous than he is, but I’m taking it like a champ. I look down at Spencer’s hand (his very pretty hand, his very big hand, across my entire thigh. Has it moved up?), but he’s not having it. His free hand goes up to hold my chin firmly, and with utter and total reverence, he lifts my face to look him in the eyes again.

“What about you, beautiful?" He watches me carefully, brown eyes full of intent. My self-control right now is dazzling.

And if I said a little thank-you prayer to God for not giving me a dick with which I would be cursed a boner right now, then maybe that’s nobody’s business.

“What kind of aggression would you use with me?” I bite my lip and swallow, staring at his lips. Perfect, perfect boy.

He studies me for a moment, and I think he’s trying to make me squirm on purpose. His hand hasn’t left my chin, the bastard.

“Keep talking," he prompts. Yes, sir.

I could not tell you, gun to my head, where the fuck I got my bravery from, but hallelujah holy shit.

“Would you grab me by the throat and hold me against a wall?" Woah, where did that come from? Go me. "Would you hold onto me so hard it bruised? Would you leave marks that wouldn’t go away for weeks? Would you ever hurt me, Dr. Reid?” If he notices my face getting so hot it would rival the sun, then it was sweet of him not to address it.

“Is that what you want?”

“I guess I just want to know if you could,” I reply, my left hand coming up to his face, my fingertips tracing his bottom lip, my eyes glued to the point of contact.

“You have no idea what I could do, given enough provocation,” he whispers, finally allowing his eyes to fall to my mouth, parted slightly in awe.

“Are you gonna kiss me or not, Spencer?”

Rather than responding to me, his grip on my chin loosens for favour of travelling down my jaw, then to the back of my neck, curling into my hair, pulling just hard enough for me to feel the tension. “Fix your attitude,” he asserts, and then his lips are on mine and it’s all passion and fury and the taste of chocolate. I moan into his mouth on instinct, and his grip on my hip tightens.

If there’s one thing about Spencer Reid, it’s that he exists as a multitude. And if there’s two things, it’s that he kisses like a man fucking starved. Like he’s been suffocating slowly in a room with no oxygen, and once he gets a mask, he’s not letting it go. He’s teeth in lips, he’s hands roaming, he’s furrowed brows and mouths parting.

His right hand roves over my thigh furthest from him, dipping under my skirt just barely. He stays under the fabric and moves his hand to the top of my thigh, then braving the inside. He’s squeezing once or twice everywhere he touches, like the cliche of saying pinch me. I spread my legs instinctively.

As quick as it started, it stops.

I whine, my eyes opening slow like molasses.

“This is an incredibly uncomfortable position,” he pants. I only just realized the poor thing is not exactly on a sofa made for two. I may be snug as a bug in his lap, but the arms of the chair are digging into the sides of his legs. The recollection of our being in a fucking restaurant right now hits me in the face like a fresh bucket of ice water. 

“Fuck. Sorry,” I breathe, my hands tangled in his hair, and I’m not sure when they got there, or when they managed to unbutton the top half of his shirt, or how the straps of my dress are halfway down my arms.

“Bathroom?” I propose, glancing at the adjoining one that I am thanking my lucky stars for as we speak.

“Bathroom,” he agrees.

[novantinuum]

Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 1

[Part 1- You are here!] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]

~

Howdy! Those of you who have followed me for a while have probably been seeing my reblogs of the @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. Well, today I wanna share with you something a little different than my usual SU meta… because today I’m gonna analyze this really cool fan work with the same level of seriousness as I do canon. (Like. Seriously. This first post alone is really, really long. I put most of it under a cut.)

This particular comic is a very special one for me to watch unfold, because it’s evident that a lot of deep care and attention to detail has been poured into its creation. There’s fascinating bits of expanded character development to chew into here, as well as plenty of mysteries and lingering questions for us readers to muse and theorize over. If you follow me for Steven Universe and haven’t read this AU yet I highly recommend you check it out. The most basic pitch is that it explores what a fusion between Steven and Jasper might look like, and does a LOT of deep-diving into the similarities and differences of both of those characters’ psyches.

Here’s the episode masterpost on tumblr.

And you can find it on Tapas, too! 

(Note: For the purposes of these posts, I was given permission by the comic artist to post screenshots of various pages where relevant in this discussion. For each frame used I will list the episode and page number for easy reference. Additionally, this post and all future ones on the topic will contain full spoilers for the comic thus far.)

Now with all that introductory stuff out of the way, here we go!

__

So, on the final page of the most recent update, we get one hell of a visual plot bomb for Steven as ol’ Onyx unfuses:

(Episode 9: Page 22)

He’s now visually expressing remnants of his corruption, where before he was not.

And it’s this mysterious plot point in particular that got me wanting to analyze this comic more deeply in the first place. This is completely new for him in this story. Thus far, he’s never expressed any of these remnants when he’s just himself- not in the way Jasper does. So it made me wonder… how might this shift in his appearance play into the ultimate trajectory of the plot? How does Steven suddenly showcasing corruption scars integrate into the larger story that is being spun here about him and Jasper and how they relate to each other?

Well, there’s a lot of comic details and story lore we need to unpack first before I can take my best theorizer’s stab at this. Let’s dig right in.

__

Prelude: The analyst’s treasure is in the speech bubbles

Anyone who’s been a fan of this comic for a while has probably noticed these fun visual details already, but I’m going to take a moment to break down what I believe each speech bubble style signifies for folks who may not have context. It’ll make some of my analysis later a bit easier, too, ahah.

So. Speech bubbles. What kinds do we have here? 

(Episode 1: Page 6)

Style number one: Solid with black text

This style is standard for non-fused characters, and is also utilized when a fused character is speaking whilst in a state of internal harmony.

Steven is pink and Jasper is orange, of course. Onyx’s speech bubbles are a distinct darker pink, and the main three Crystal Gems get their own colors as well. More minor characters get white bubbles.

(Episode 1: Page 10)

Style number two: Scribbly pink lettering overlaying black text

Whenever you see this type of speech bubble, it’s a sign that there is some level of internal discord going on within Steven or Onyx that is related to their diamond side. It usually shows up when one of the two is in pink mode, but from what I can tell this is not a solid rule.

(Episode 2: Page 12)

Style number three: Pink/orange mixed bubbles

This is how we see Onyx talking for a good portion of the early comic. Their speech bubbles are a clean mix of Steven’s pink and Jasper’s orange. And most vitally, the color on the top and the tail signifies which of them is “fronting” at that moment.

(Episode 3: Page 11)

Style number four: White bubble with solid pink text

So far, this style has only been used to represent dialogue that is being spoken by Steven’s gem half exclusively. Which makes things very interesting, as in Steven’s own remembrances of shattering Jasper on the very first page of the comic, the line “I have been holding back!” is shown in this specific style, instead of the scribbly pink lettering that signifies internal discord.

There is one additional sub-style here- and this is the one moment where we get Onyx’s mixed bubble but WITH the solid pink text. 

(Episode 3: Page 11)

I believe these two styles pretty much mean the same thing… only, the white/pink text is either viewed within memory or a metaphoric fusion mindscape where we the viewer are actually “seeing” Steven’s instability, and thus can “see” his gem half as a separate entity there. While, in reality, this is an argument Onyx is having with the disparate pieces of themself.

(Episode 4: Page 9)

Style number five: Pink/orange tye-dye mixed bubbles

When you see that darker shade of pink start dappling into the standard mixed bubbles, this indicates that there are small whispers of Onyx’s true personality beginning to surface, instead of them constantly being wrested back and forth between Steven and Jasper’s conscious control.

(Episode 4: Page 16)

Style number six: Pink/orange mixed bubbles, but with a darker pink tail

From this page onwards, Onyx’s speech bubbles always have their darker pink shading the tail no matter who is fronting. Sometimes there are little lines of another color etched out of it, and sometimes the tail is solid dark pink. I like to believe that when it’s solid, it means that Onyx is just a little closer to reaching a fully harmonious state than when it’s not.

(Episode 9: Page 6)

Style number seven: Onyx speech/thought bubbles with a hint of pink/orange underlying

This style seems to signify moments where it’s still Onyx fully in control of themself and their actions/words/thoughts, but they’re taking subtle influence from their components or accessing their memory a bit.

These are all of the distinct styles I have caught so far, but quite honestly, it would not surprise me if I am missing something. All of this to say… pay close attention to the speech bubbles. They can tell you a lot about Onyx’s state of mind throughout the story.

Now with all this established, I’d like to finish off this first post with my first big discussion point.

__

Question One: What does Jasper actually know about Steven’s “meltdown,” if anything?

The AU author recently solidified this comic’s placement in the SUF timeline in an ask response, saying that the first episode takes place just a week after Steven’s corruption event.

I’m glad this point was clarified, because it was super vital information which deeply influenced the way I analyzed Steven’s actions and responses in my recent re-read… it means this experience is still super raw for him. This is VERY important and we’ll get back to this in more depth later in future posts. But first, let’s explore what Jasper knows of this event.

The full extent of her knowledge is unclear-

(Episode 1: Page 6)

In Episode 1, Steven briefly alludes to his corruption as seen above… referring to it as “[his] meltdown.” Notably, Jasper does not seem to ask any questions about this stray comment. This COULD suggest that she knows what happened to him a week prior via hearsay, but given the context of the rest of the scene and the fact that she’s as isolated as she is out here I genuinely wonder if she thinks Steven’s so-described “meltdown” is his shattering of her.

This idea would make a good deal of sense, as she doesn’t start to make any commentary on the topic of corruption at all until they’re actually fused- with Steven bringing it up first.

(Episode 2: Page 14)

On this page, Steven takes note of Onyx’s very visible spikes (which are Overtly in the same placement as his own when he was corrupted), and initiates the musing upon his own corruption himself.

With the way Jasper phrases her response, the vibe I get is that she somehow gleans a bit of ambient shared knowledge about what happened to him through their fusion.

(Episode 2: Page 15) 

“That human form you wear must have been hiding your markings.” This quote is SUPER vital. We’ll come back to this later on in this post series, too.

(Episode 2: Page 15)

It’s clear that Jasper doesn’t REALLY understand what he went through or what caused it, since she then outright mistakes the casual woes and body pains of organic life as corruption. (As seen above.) 

(Episode 8: Page 4)

But later on, she outright relates to him over their shared experience of past corruption, so she must at least know enough from mere ambient thought-sharing by this point to recognize it happened.  

It’s obvious that she’s barely scratched the surface on fully understanding her fusion partner, though. Neither of them have. It’s gonna take a lot of fusion, comedic mishaps, and genuine conversation to get there. All in good time, I’m sure.

__

Please do join me tomorrow at 7am PST for the next post in this series! This has been a blast to write up and muse upon.

[moiraimyths]

Howdy, fateful friends! Are you an artist or illustrator with an interest in visual novels?

If so: Moirai Myths, creators of the visual novel The Good People (Na Daoine Maithe), are in need of guest artists! More specifically, we're looking for up to two artists to help us with the content graphics ("CGs") for Maeve and Shae's upcoming routes. All of the details will be listed on our application form (linked below), but here is the gist:

This is paid work with 20-30 business day deadlines per piece!

Complicated revisions in the post-sketch phase are compensated!

You will be prioritized for future guest artist opportunities!

You will be featured/credited on Moirai Myths' website and in the game itself!

Sound interesting? If so, apply here:

Click under the cut for some F&Q 👇

Who are you? (I'm new here!)

Hi! We're Moirai Myths: a small, newish visual novel company based out of Canada. We're making a game inspired by mostly Irish mythology, which was funded on Kickstarter in 2023! Our game's got fairy politics, a diverse cast, a Gaeilge-to-English translation tool, and routes that can be played either romantically or platonically! Also horses. An ungodly amount of horses, really.

If that odd pitch sounded intriguing, perhaps you'd like to play our demo! It's free on Steam & Itch.io.

Why are you looking for guest artists?

When we originally launched our Kickstarter, the plan was to have our three in-house artists collaborate on the CGs in the same way our header image was. However, we quickly realized that adding CGs, even if they're done collaboratively, onto the existing duties of our artists was a tall order. Add to that the departure of our original sprite artist (who has since been replaced by our graphic designer), and we determined that having our in-house team work on CGs was simply not possible if we still wanted our first release to happen in 2024. So, rather than omitting CGs or adding them in at a later time, we came up with the idea of hiring guest artists. Overall this means our CGs will be a bit more varied in terms of art style, but we like to think of this as a positive! NDM's development will take a number of years to complete in full, so we hope our CGs will allow us to feature a lot of artists either within the VN/indie dev community already, or artists who aspire to work in gaming and are looking for entry positions.

How long will applications remain open for?

This application will be open until Sunday, March 24 at midnight (EST)! If we intend to extend past that deadline, we'll make an announcement about it.

I can't apply right now. Will you look for more CG guest artists in the future?

Definitely! As mentioned, NDM will take a while to develop in full, so this is by no means your only opportunity to apply. That being said, we suspect we're going to end up shortlisting a number of artists over the course of this application period, and we intend to keep a list of all the runners-up. So, even if you won't be able to participate this time, it might be a good idea to apply anyway just to remain in our contacts! Either way, this will not be the last time we have apps.

Will you be looking for guest artists outside of CGs?

Maybe! We already have two guest artists (Nefukurou and Madi Funk) working on sprites and CGs respectively, so it's always possible that we'll have other artistic needs later down the line. Likewise, we may also reach out to past guest artists for future work with us, whether it's on this game or something else!

You say we need to sign an NDA. What does that entail?

The non-disclosure agreement essentially means you will be legally unable to publicly disclose any confidential information you become privy to as a result of working with us. This would include personal information about the developers, as well as spoilers from the game itself. In addition do this, you will be expected to sign over the IP and copyright of any artworks you produce for us.

Can I still use my artworks in portfolios, even if I don't own the copyright?

Yes! We'd only ask, if your portfolio is a website, that you wait to do so until after your art has been made public by us, either on our social media or via the publication of the game. Our first release is anticipated to happen later this year, most likely mid-autumn.

How do you guys feel about AI? Do you intend to use it, or would you ever train an AI off of the artworks whose copyright you own?

No.

Making a game is expensive and time-consuming, but AI is no replacement for human artistry. We fundamentally believe that any advancements in AI should be used for the purpose of giving people more time to make art, not take away opportunities for it. Moirai Myths will never, ever use AI or train an AI off your work.

***

If you've got any more questions for us that we didn't think to include here, feel free to send us an ask!

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Locker Room

Pairing: Season one!Roy Kent x f!reader

Word count: 2063

Warnings: swearing (kent style), m! receiving oral, voyeurism/exhibitionism, Jamie flirting with reader, Roy’s inner thoughts aka light violence, smut 18+

Masterlist here

Jamie fucking Tartt was about to get his front teeth knocked out his fucking skull if he didn’t back the fuck down was all Roy could think about during practise. that and knocking him over the head with a heavy rope, or a rock, or his fist, or his shoe, or really anything. of course, the American didn’t see the harm in Jamie running up and down the pitch like a twat but as captain Roy wanted nothing more than to ship all three of them back on a plane to wherever the hell the cowboy came from.

the only solace Roy got during that practise was your text saying you would pick him up after practise for a surprise date. for a moment it actually brought a smile to his face. that was till he caught sight of Tartt doing his own chant, so he sent back a quick ‘love u’ text before going to yell at the knob head celebrating a fake match.

Roy counted down the seconds till he could get off this damn pitch however when coach lasso called, he decided to fall back. by making sure Roy was the last one in the locker room and showers he could make sure he was as far back from Jamie Tartt who was running like he was being chased. if only it was Roy chasing him with a big stick.

anyone who spoke to him only received a grunt in return. as Roy came back from the showers with only a towel round his waist most of the team had left. Jamie was at his locker taking his stupid tongue out selfies as Issac said a quick goodbye to him, dodging Roys gaze as he and Collin split, Sam not far behind.

Roy inwardly smiled at the way Nathan ran out the room when he walked in. when he got to his locker the first thing, he did was check his phone to discover you were already here, so he quickly let you know he just had to get changed. when lasso and beard tried to say goodbye Roy just grunted as he pulled on his jeans.

when he glanced behind him, he was grateful to see Jamie finally sauntering out the room, not even bothering to say goodbye to his captain to which Roy was thankful for. when the door shut behind Jamie Roy let out a sigh of relief being the only one left in the room.

you however had decided not to wait in the car and just meet Roy in the locker room. you nodded and smiled to all the boys you passed but didn’t stop to talk since you weren’t there for them. as Isaac and colin left the two wondered how in the hell you and Roy worked considering you were always kind and happy whereas Roy was, well Roy.

You were barely able to slip passed ted and beard with just a howdy hello. However only one of the boys managed to stop you in your path, “Look who it is,” Jamie grinned, opening his arms out wide making you roll your eyes with a smile, “Its Mrs grampa,”

“Hello to you too Tartt,”

“Don’t worry love I won’t keep ya. Can’t risk grampa having to wait for his sponge bath,”

You rolled your eyes again as you kept walking, knowing full well Jamie was staring at your arse, “You’re just jealous he gets one and you don’t,” you grinned, excited to finally see your boyfriend after a long day.

“If you ever wanna be with a real footballer love you’ve got my number,” he said, clicking his tongue and firing finger guns at you before spinning on his heels and finally leaving.

you were laughing quietly as you opened the door to the locker room, finally laying eyes on your boyfriend. Roy looked up with a stone face, but a smile fell over it when he saw you, “What’s got you laughing then princess?” he asked as he fastened his belt.

“Just Jamie being a prick,” you said as you walked up to him. before Roy could start his impending rant, you looped your fingers in his belt loops, pulling him closer, “Sad I missed the show though,” you smirked, leaning up to kiss him.

Roy practically melted into your touch as his hand cupped your jaw, his other resting on your hip, “Im sure I could hit rewind for you,” he teased as he pulled back, his hands moving to your back to pull your body flush against his, “I’ve missed you,”

“You saw me this morning babe,” you laughed as your arms moved to rest over his shoulders.

Roy chuckled, his eyes glancing down, “Been thinking about you all day,”

“What about me specifically?” you teased, catching another quick peck.

his hands slid down your back slowly before he suddenly slapped your arse making you have yelped half squeal. “You know exactly what I’ve been thinking about. walking in here looking like this,”

“Looking like what?” you said, leaning in so your nose brushed against his.

“So, fucking fuckable,” he said, his voice somehow lower than before making your stomach do flips and knocking the butterflies all over the place, “Been thinking about those fucking lips all day,” Roy said before his lips crashed onto yours in a desperate messy kiss.

your hands gripped his hair making Roy groan into the kiss as his hands squeezed your hips tightly knocking the wind out of you. “Well, I can’t do much else with these lips till we get out of here,” you said, finally pulling away for air and walking backwards leading Roy towards the door.

“Says who?” Roy said, his hot breath fanning over your neck before his lips soon to kiss down your skin making you moan when he reached the crook of your neck. Roy moved you back till your back was against the locker room door.

“We can’t Roy,” you moaned, your grip tightening in his hair.

“Sure, don’t sound like you wanna stop,” he mumbled against your skin.

it had been a thought you’d had a lot, fucking Roy in the locker room. or really anywhere at Richmond. Roy had even said after his last win that he would’ve taken you on the pitch right then if he could. ever since the idea had been in your head and with the season just starting again it was seeming tempting, but you knew the cleaners would be coming round soon.

but not right now. Roy groaned when you pulled his head from your neck but his eyes about popped out his skull when he felt your hand on his belt buckle. “Seriously?” he asked, almost getting giddy about the idea as you unbuckled the belt, working quickly on the button of his jeans.

You hummed in response as you undid his zip, “Just my mouth though. for now,”

“Hey im not fucking complaining,” Roy grinned but his mouth fell open, a small moan from his lips when he felt your hand wrap around his cock, “Fuck babe wait- “he said making you almost pull your hand out his boxers but he grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Over here. so, we’re not in the middle of the room yeah?” he said as he led you over to the closest locker.

you laughed when you looked up at the locker, “You want me to suck you off in front of Jamies locker?” you said, still following Roy over.

“Cmon,” Roy groaned, his cock pulsing in your hand as he reached his enemies spot in the locker room, “This would be the ultimate fuck you. the fuck yous of fuck you,” he said as the backs of his legs hit the bench.

your hand moved from his dick, much to Roys dismay, to hold his shoulders. Roy was about ready to call it quits when he felt you push down on his shoulders, making him sit down on the bench. you stayed stood for a moment, your hand tracing over his jaw, “You Roy Kent, are a petty bitch,” you said as you slowly moved down onto your knees making Roy somehow get even harder, “Who I love,”

“I’ve never loved you more,” Roy said as he watched you with awe. you rolled your eyes as you leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his tip.

if you were going to do something so wrong you were going to do it right. you licked slow soft licks around his tip making Roy groan as his hand found its way into your hair, but he knew better than to rush you. he nearly gasped for air when he felt you lick down his shaft, your hand resting on the other side of his sensitive member.

you teased him for a few moments till you finally began to swirl your tongue around his tip before slowly sinking down his cock. Roy moaned, not caring if anyone was still here to hear him as your hands moved to cup his balls. his moans were all the encouragement you needed to keep going, your head bobbing down with an increasing pace as you felt his tip hit the back of your throat.

Roy felt like he could cum at any moment, but he wanted to enRoy this. his eyes were screwed up with pleasure but for some reason he felt the need to open them. when he did, he saw Jamie, standing at the other locker room door, his hand still on the handle and his jaw practically on the fucking floor.

having Jamie seeing this was somehow even better than him never knowing it happened. it took Jamie a moment to notice Roys eyes were open and when he met his captains eyes all Roy could do was smirk, leaning his head back to rest against the wall as Jamie stood there in awe. Roy wanted to enRoy this feeling, that was until he felt your cheeks hollow around his cock and his eyes screwed up in pleasure once more.

Roy knew he couldn’t wait any longer but when he went to tap your shoulder to tell you that, a signal you had decided upon months ago, you decided to keep going. Roy couldn’t contain himself any longer and he gasped as he felt himself spill his cum down your throat. your movements slowed but you didn’t pull your lips away till you had practically sucked all the life from the footballer.

when you pulled off, wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your shirt, you looked up to Roy with those doe eyes he loved so fucking much. seeing them made him reach down, pulling you in by your jaw to kiss you harshly. you heard some kind of click and you pulled back, glancing behind you, “Did you hear something?” you asked, slowly getting up from your suddenly sore knees.

“Nah,” Roy said as he helped you stand, getting up himself and zipping back up, “But we should go. gotta get you home so I can repay the favour,” he said making you giggle and rush towards the door, Roy slapping your arse as you went making you fake scold your boyfriend.

as you walked the halls Roy briefly wondered if he had taken it too far but after all it was Jamie, so he didn’t worry. then he wondered why Jamie hadn’t confronted him? was it actually Jamie that had seen him or some orgasm angle? if Jamie had down that to him Roy would’ve fucked him across the room and kicked the living hell out of him.

it must’ve been someone else Roy thought, trying his best to act casual as he walked with you to the parking lot. however, when Roy opened the door for you to walk into the car park, he looked up to see Jamie, sat his car eyes closed. Roy barked a laugh at the sight, making your head spin around looking for what was funny.

however, Jamie had heard your boyfriends laugh and by the time you spotted his car it was speeding out of the parking lot. You looked after the car, head tilted, “Jamies a weird one,” you said as you unlocked your car, and all Roy could do was laugh. next practise was gonna be the cats’ pyjamas.

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics

[exercise-of-trust]

everyone clap and cheer for my beautiful daughter who has every disease 🥰 her name is þerindë because her wheel is made out of an embroidery hoop; she is entirely handmade and boy howdy does it show

a whole bunch of things have stopped working since i took that video last night and i'm not sure how much more wherewithal i have to keep messing with her, but i did manage to spin about two feet of something before then! so i'm showing her off a bit now, and if i can figure out what-all i fucked up maybe you'll see more of her in the future. some process and progress photos under the cut (not a tutorial. do not do this. i cannot sufficiently stress how bad of an idea this was and is*)

(*if you are going to do this and have questions not answered here i am always happy to answer them, inbox and dms are open etc, but like. i would strongly advise against it)

here's the hoop! it's about a foot across, with a groove carved out with a speedball. this ended up being way too shallow (who'd'a'thunk) so the final version is a lot deeper than what you're seeing here. the paint stirrers are held in with straight pins because i was worried regular nails would just crack the hoop lmao. my girl is so deeply and profoundly scuffed <3

the flyer is made from three cedar shingles glued together because i didn't have a solid piece of wood large enough. astonishingly nothing broke while i was sawing out the rough shape and it whittled down pretty nicely! the hooks are scrap 2mm copper wire, the orfice is a couple inches of plastic drinking straw, and the pulley wheel is also hand-carved, which is why it looks like a fucked-up oreo and has the weird hitch at the top of the spin that you probably saw in the video 🙃 frankly i am astonished it works as well as it does

the wheel frame is. man. the axle supports haven't broken yet but frankly it's a miracle they're still in place with how much strain they're under every time. the original base was that weird little bit of paint stirrer, which (shocker) did not work out in the long run; it's been replaced by an offcut from the frame and is significantly more sturdy now. it's surprisingly level, though, and turns pretty smoothly all things considered!

the frame was a nightmare start to finish; i've never done any serious woodworking before in my life and the whole thing was just kind of slapped together without a plan or any sort of concrete measurement. it wobbles so fucking bad and every few hours i have to push a couple of the parts back together where the nails are sort of drifting out of the wood. you may observe a weird post sticking out the left side of the mother-of-all; that is supposed to be for scotch tensioning. does it actually do that? sort of! the belt is a length of cotton crochet thread that is, after much fiddling, just the right size to not slip out more than once every three minutes.

treadling was another pain to figure out and i think i probably made it way more complicated than it needed to be. it still doesn't work very well and i can't tell if that's something i can fix hardware-wise or if i just have to suck it up and practice a lot more. turns out feet are not as coordinated as hands! i would say "now i know for next time!" but frankly i am never doing this again. you couldn't pay me. speaking of which, i did the math and at my current pre-tax hourly salary i could've bought two brand-new ashford travelers with the number of hours i spent building my awful rickety daughter. at the end of the day, do i love her? immensely. is she "good"? by no stretch of the imagination.

anyway. this was a terrible use of my time <3 but i do finally feel confident enough in all the parts of a spinning wheel and what they're for that i can brave the dangers of facebook marketplace's "spinning wheel" category without getting too badly scammed! which is pretty valuable in its own right, i guess.

[ranchthoughts]

An Update to the Kissing Multiverse!

The first version is here, second version here, third version here. There is also a little bonus stat crunching here. My tag for this project is here.

Well, Only Friends and Dangerous Romance are over, so I am back with another GMMTV Kissing Multiverse update for you all. And boy howdy it is a doozy. We've added 16 shows, 19 actors, and 33 unique kissing pairs!

Rules

Must have visible lip to lip contact

Must be shown on screen in a GMM tv series (no kisses from ads, promotional content, trailers*, movies, etc.)

*please note this means none of the GMMTV 2024 trailers count

Breakdown by Show

The data set now includes 77 shows.

(full list in alt text)

Breakdown By Actor

The data set now includes 131 actors.

(full lists in alt text)

Results and Discussion

Unique vs. Repeat Kissing Pairs

Last time round we learned that the vast majority of GMMTV kissing pairs are one-offs and that mixed gender pairs were less likely to repeat. Those conclusions hold true for this update.

There are 169 "unique" kissing pairs in the dataset, and of those, 156 (92.3%) appear only once, in one show. 13 pairs (7.7%) appear at least twice.

The 13 pairs that appear in more than one show are:

Book/Force (in A Boss and a Babe, Enchante, and Only Friends)

Bright/Win (in 2gether and Still 2gether)

Dunk/Joong (in Hidden Agenda and Star in My Mind)

Earth/Mix (in A Tale of Thousand Stars, Cupid's Last Wish, and Moonlight Chicken)

Fiat/June (in The Gifted and The War of Flowers)

Film/Gun (in Not Me and Three Gentlebros)

First/Khaotung (in The Eclipse and Only Friends)

Gun/Off (in Not Me, Puppy Honey, Puppy Honey 2, and Theory of Love)

Lee/Mook (in My Dear Loser and The Jungle)

Louis/Neo (in The Eclipse and Fish Upon The Sky)

Marc Natarit/Pawin (in Dangerous Romance and My Gear Your Gown)

New/Tay (in Dark Blue Kiss and Kiss Me Again)

Phuwin/Pond (in Fish Upon the Sky and Never Let Me Go)

The kissing pair that has appeared in the most shows is Gun/Off, with 4 shows out as of now (and 2 more in the works!).

10 out of 13 of these repeating pairs (77%) are same gender pairs, specifically BL branded or brand-adjacent pairs. Once again, an interesting look into the GMMTV het vs BL system.

All in all, 97% of mixed gender pairs and 85% of same gender pairs appear only once, in one show.

Same Gender vs. Mixed Gender Kissing Pairs

Of the 169 "unique" kissing pairs, roughly 60% are mixed gender pairs and roughly 39% are same gender pairs. This ratio has shifted slightly from the last update (when it was 59% mixed gender and 41% same gender) as I have added more het shows to the sample.

Now to look at the shows themselves: 35% of the shows had only same gender kissing pairs, 47% of the shows had only mixed gender kissing pairs, and 18% of the shows featured both. You will notice that this is a 8% increase in favour of "mixed gender kissing only" shows compared to the last update which is due to the number of het shows I added this update.

Most Kissing Pairs Per Show

The average number of kissing pairs per show is 2.4.

The shows with the most different kissing pairs are:

Only Friends (16 different pairs)

The Warp Effect (15 different pairs)

Friendzone (11 different pairs)

The Jungle and U-Prince (9 different pairs each)

The Player (7 different pairs)

Not Me, Three Gentlebros, and 3 Will Be Free have 4 different kissing pairs each, and then all other shows have 3 or fewer kissing pairs each.

Welcome Only Friends to the top of the ranking! 🎉 A well deserved placing. I would like to take a moment to hone in on the distribution of kissing over the course of the series:

We hit 9 kissing pairs in ep. 9, 10 pairs in ep. 10, 11 pairs in ep. 11, and 12(+) pairs in ep. 12. Very satisfying.

The Power of Jojo

Jojo, every series:

You get a kiss and you get a kiss! YOU ALL GET KISSES!

(inspired by @dribs-and-drabbles here)

As we've learned over these past updates, Jojo has an outsized impact on the number of kissing pairs. He has directed roughly 10% of the shows in this sample, but his shows account for nearly a third of all kissing pairs (32%). Half of Jojo's shows are in the top 6 for most kissing pairs per show (Only Friends, The Warp Effect, Friendzone, and The Player).

The average number of kissing pairs in a Jojo show is 7.4, compared to 1.8 for non-Jojo shows.

Interesting to note: last update, the average number of kissing pairs per show for Jojo shows was 6.0 (1.4 lower) and the average for non-Jojo shows was the same (1.8). Only Friends had quite the impact.

(note: in this section, I am just looking at kissing pair iterations here not at unique kissing pairs, e.g., Phuwin/Pond are a pair in two shows (once in a Jojo show and once in a non-Jojo show), so they are counted twice.)

Most Kissing Partners

First, to put this in context: 50.4% of the actors in this sample have only had one kissing partner. The average number of kissing partners per actor is 2.6 (an increase of 0.3 from last update - again, possibly due to Only Friends).

We've had some significant changes in the leader board this update. Previously, our top 5 were Joss (10 kissing partners), Lee and Namtan (9 each), and Ohm and Nanon (7 each).

Welcome our new leader, Lee, with 12 kissing partners!

Krist takes the second spot (11 different kissing partners), followed by Joss (10), Namtan (9) and First (8) to round out our top five.

Next we have Gigie, Mild, Nanon, New, Off, and Ohm with 7 different kissing partners each; Film, Mond, Mook, Neo, and Singto with 6 kissing partners each; and Bright, Fluke Pusit, Jan, Khaotung, and Mark Pakin with 5 kissing partners each. There are also eleven actors with 4 different partners, and fifteen actors with 3 different partners each.

This update sees an astonishing 6 new kissing partners for Krist and 3 for First, catapulting them into the top 5. The impact of Only Friends can't be denied either - it increased every one of its actors' total kissing partners, and pushed Mond, Neo, Khaotung, and Mark Pakin up into the upper echelons, along with First, of course.

Most Kissing Partners in One Show

We have a new reigning champion for "Most Kissing Partners in One Show"! Thanks to his tireless hard work in Only Friends kissing 5 different people, Neo rockets to the top of the list.

We now have seven people who have kissed 4 different people in one show thanks to Only Friends (First, Mark Pakin, and Mond in Only Friends; Fluke Pusit, Gigie, and New in The Warp Effect; and Plustor in Friendzone), and eight cases of people kissing 3 different people in one show (Book, Force, and Khaotung in Only Friends; Joss and Namtan in The Player; Joss again in 3 Will Be Free; Krist in The Jungle; and Singto in Friendzone).

Please note that all of these instances (except for Krist in The Jungle) happened in Jojo shows.

In total, there are 52 instances of people kissing more than one person in a show, and 31% of actors in the sample have kissed more than one person in a show at least once.

Which of the GMMTV boys has kissed the most guys?

Last update we had a five-way tie for first place between First, Fluke Pusit, Neo, Plustor, and Singto, with 4 men kissed each. Only Friends has significantly changed the situation.

Congratulations to First for taking first place in the men kissing men category, with 7 men kissed! Next we have Neo in second place (6 men kissed) and Khaotung in third (5 men kissed).

First has kissed Gawin (Not Me), Force (Only Friends), Khaotung (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mark Pakin (Only Friends), Mix (Moonlight Chicken), Mond (Only Friends), and Ohm (The Shipper)

Neo has kissed Drake (Only Friends), Force (Only Friends), Louis (The Eclipse and FUTS), Mark Pakin (Only Friends), Mond (Only Friends), and Title (Only Friends)

Khaotung has kissed Book (Only Friends), First (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mond (Only Friends), Pawin (55:15 Never Too Late), and Pod (Tonhon Chonlatee)

There are now seven men who have kissed 4 men each: Fluke Pusit, Krist, Mark Pakin, Mond, New, Plustor, and Singto. Special shoutout to Mark Pakin, Mond, and Plustor for racking up all these kisses over the course of one show each (Only Friends, Only Friends, and Friendzone respectively).

Finally, there are eight men who have kissed 3 men each, and eleven who have kissed two men each.

The Kiss Web

Behold... the Kiss Web, newly updated:

And, as usual, some colourful breakdowns too:

The reach of the top 5 kissers: Lee, Krist, Joss, Namtan, and First.

The kissing webs of the top three shows: Only Friends (in pink), The Warp Effect (in blue), and Friendzone (in green). Yes these are all Jojo shows.

Some "kissing triangles" (no squares this time because there were too many to show). Note the triangles completed in the course of one show: Nat-Plustor-Singto (Friendzone), First-Khaotung-Mond (Only Friends), Mark Pakin-Neo-Title (Only Friends), Fluke Pusit-Gigie-New (The Warp Effect), and Joss-Mild-Tay (3 Will Be Free).

I’ve been having fun Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon-ing around this web and I’d like to propose a challenge to you all: what is the longest chain between two people (with the most people between them) possible? Basically, reverse Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Bonus points if there is no quicker shortcut between them.

If you’d like to play another little game, see my post here.

Contributing authors: @airenyah, @alsoran, @alwaysthepessimist, various anons, @bengiyo, @burnsuncomet, @callipigio, @cangse-sanren, @catboykacchan, @catboyjosten, @catsundmaus, @chickenstrangers, @crowie, @dribs-and-drabbles, @ffirstkhao, @foralleternityidiot, @isaksbestpillow, @jeonghanurl, @kattahj, @kpinhiding, @lurkingshan, @maibpenrai, @maybeitdontmakesense, @nieves-de-sugui, @non-binarypal7, @sammie-lightwood-bane, @sollucets, @userneos, @theselightsareblinding, @tiistirtipii, @waitmyturtles, @williamrikers

Data visualization consultants and beloved proofreaders: @chickenstrangers, @dribs-and-drabbles, @wen-kexing-apologist

Asked to be tagged: @blmpff

[the-californicationist]

Dearest, I find myself once again on my knees, hoping to scratch your brain for any crumbs of The Old Way universe. Just, have you had any thoughts on that au of how the characters are, what they're up to, or what dynamics have been built or are/would be shaping up to be?

I'm the same anon that asked a while ago and truly ignore this if this too much or annoying. I was just hoping if you could spare any crumbs of your goregous, genius mind. ilysm 🧎‍♀️💕 (also I'm in love with how you wrote priest/vamp price, amazing work on that!)

Hey anon! I’m so glad you liked vampire priest price! He was a fun one.

As for The Old Way, boy howdy, do I have thoughts!

Cause like, chapter two is obviously a hyper realistic exposition on the actual tradition of the bonded mating ritual between reader and Price, right?

Maybe this is a hear me out moment, but Omegaverse fics intrigue me for three main reasons which I will outline below and elaborate on in way too much detail:

1. The fuck-or-die element of the heat/rut cycle

2. The fantastical/unrealistic physical stretch required to take a knot

3. The fantastical/unrealistic duration (and lack of a refractory period) that a knot remains inside of its hole

To clarify…

As for the first, this is the true animalistic element, imo. And what’s hotter than sexual need, right? Like the feeling of sexual starvation being sated??? It makes my brain turn into literal mush. The first bite of food after a fast. The first sip of cool water after a march through the desert. The first gasp of air after swimming up from the deepest depths. The first touch of skin on naked skin when you’ve been writhing and needing and alone. Ugh. Fuck me up with that shit.

As for the second, I mean this is sort of personal preference and self-explanatory but I’m a girth>length fan. As is immediately obvious when you read anything I’ve written. But specifically in this fic; here’s a man who feels unworthy of love. His fat monster cock hurt someone he cared for. As fun as it is to haul around the State Fair Blue Ribbon schlong, no one likes being left out (or 13th-wheeling in Price’s case). And when he finds his glass slipper of a mate, he feels whole again. She saves him, and she saves the day, and it’s the happily ever after of my dreams. Yay, love!

But. Here’s the kicker. Number three. Number three keeps me up at night, y’all. It plagues me. It’ll sneak into my thoughts while I’m in the middle of my daily tasks, sucker-punching me right in the chest. Idk about other Omegaverses, but the idea that we could be stretched out and stuck on John Price’s Texas-sized dong for hours (and that there is a fantastical/unrealistic element of a pain-free, pleasurable experience on our end?) is delicious. Imagine, he’s trapped himself deep within you, oozing hot come, giving you that incredible feeling of fullness, and you are just basking in it together, enjoying the sparkling electricity of every twitch and jerk of his phallus. He’s reading Yeats to you and you’re grooming his soft, curling hair, he’s keeping your energy up by feeding you grapes and honey and wine and mead, he’s sharing his hand-rolled cigars with you, letting you feel the high of the nicotine and kissing you languidly, his lips so soft and pliant that you feel as if your two bodies might melt together like smooth chocolate, homogeneous in a way that no one else will ever know. All the while, your womb is full of his heavy load, stuffed and ladden with his seed, making your belly just the slightest bit round. He feels it with his wide palm, and you can’t help but imagine how you might be thus revered when you’re heavy with his child instead.

And how long?? I mean, what’s possible here — even if we abandon plausible? An hour? Two? A night? And how often? Would his rut drive him to mate with you repeatedly in a self-sacrificing/mindless sex-driven fury? Would bonded mates be capable of something more than normal ones? What are your true powers as the Apex Omega? So many questions.

So anyway. Sorry for the hear-me-out. I recognize that not everyone is as zealously curious about the implications of an Omegaverse as I am. I just think there’s so many different ways it could go. The universe itself has so many variable possibilities and that makes it easy to create and to be creative with it. It becomes even more interesting when you compound the sexual complications with the socio-cultural context of a community dealing with that sort of hierarchical environment. Just a world of interesting knots to untangle (pun intended and weaponized).

But, I’d also like to explore the other interpersonal relationships between our lovable companions. What’s Johnny’s big loving family like? How do the kids interact with each other? Is there a leader emerging from the MacTavish clan? What about Gaz and his three Omegas? Ghost and his mini tactical squad? All of them together? What drives them to help other clans? What’s their underlying mission? How will they ensure peace across the land? How do they allocate the obviously limited resources?

It would be a fun project to navigate. I’ve written scenes here and there for it but I’ve gotta finish these other long WIPs before I start something else.

Thanks for asking! I hope this answered your question.

[jupiterswasphouse]

WASP REVIEW - VESPIQUEN LINE (POKÉMON)

[Image ID: An official render of Vespiquen from Pokémon /End IDs.]

Buzz buzz buzz, hey howdy everyone and a very merry Wasp Wednesday to those who celebrate! This time around, we return to the old Pokémon well with one from back in Generation 4. A fascinating design, truly, with multiple possible origins, but how does it compare to the real thing?

Starting out, as usual, with its appearance; We can see that Vespiquen has the correct number of wings, keeping up the wing count streak from Beedrill! Unfortunately it only has one pair of legs, and I don't see any of the requisite 3 ocelli on its head. Interestingly, in place of these ocelli is what appears to be a jewel? This is a part of a structure on its head that either is or heavily resembles a piece of old high-class headwear (with Bulbapedia specifically comparing it to an escoffion). Whether or not they are wearing this or if it is part of their body is unclear, as tends to be the case in the Pokémon franchise given their wishiwashi- err- Excuse me. Their wishy-washy history, or lack-thereof, of explaining Pokémon pseudo-clothing.

The eyes that are there are way too small if we assume a Vespid or Apid inspiration, and they honestly appear more vertebrate-like in structure, although I can't honestly tell whether the white part is supposed to be a reflection or a pupil. Furthermore, we can see that Vespiquen has no antennae, which is quite strange for an insect; Perhaps it has another, similar adaptation? The antennae could've even morphed into the horn-like shape of the "crown" during the evolutionary process. The mouthparts, meanwhile, equally appear to fall into this particular trap, as it seems to have no mouth at all, but its headgear has a structure that sort of resembles the missing mandibles.

[Image Source: Texas A&M AgriLife Extension, Salvador Vitanza | Image ID: A photo of the head of a yellowjacket species, Vespula pensylvanica, a social Vespid /End IDs.]

Moving onto the body, and the whole deal of pseudo-clothing comes back again, although, this time its connection to the body is more clear. Vespiquen is seen with an umbrella-shaped nest, looking like a dress or gown, wrapped around a more standard Hymenopteran body shape, with the Pokédex entry in Pokémon Diamond stating: "Its abdomen is a honeycomb for grubs". Now, the connection to honey bees is clear, however, I would much sooner compare her main body shape to that of Polybia paper wasps or Sphex thread-waisted wasps, and the shape of her built in nest to that of Polistes paper wasps.

[Image Sources: iNaturalist, limarrudandre; iNaturalist, Larry Clarfeld; Wikimedia Commons, Bob Peterson | Image IDs: Three photos, one of an individual of the species Polybia sericea visiting a green plant, another of a Great Black Digger Wasp, Sphex pensylvanicus, visiting some yellow flowers, and another of the nest of a colony of Horse Paper Wasps, Polistes major major, showing its umbrella-like shape /End IDs.]

Thankfully, this design has a clearly three-segmented body, with its head, mesosoma (functional thorax; thorax and propodeum), and metasoma (functional abdomen; petiole and gaster) all seeming fairly distinct from each other. Proportionally, the head is a bit small in comparison to the body, and the same, in my opinion, is true for the wings. The legs, as few as they are, are an alright size, but aren't properly segmented.

[Image Source: bugguide.net | Image ID: An illustrated diagram showing the legs of three Hymenopterans, the first two being of other wasps, while the last one is of a bee, with each segment labeled. Coxa, trochanter, femur, tibia, and tarsus, with metatarsus on the bee. /End IDs.]

Back to its "dress" before I move on; I'm very curious as to what sort of texture it has and what material structure it's made out of. In the Pokémon universe, the answer could really be anything, but the real world equivalents of Vespiquen would either have nests made of wax (honey bees) or nests made of paper (the aforementioned paper wasps, as well as members of Vespinae, such as yellowjackets and hornets). Perhaps it could be one of these materials, or maybe it's a thin layer of chitin, as a more direct part of its exoskeleton?

But if Vespiquen is both the queen and the nest itself, then what about the colony? Well, this Pokémon evolves directly from Combee, specifically a female Combee exclusively!

[Image ID: An official render of a female Combee /End IDs.]

I won't spend too much time on this particular design, but, from what I've already said, you can likely tell this is much less accurate. In exchange, the design is that much more fantastical in nature. Here we see three individuals connected to each other by combs made of either wax or, again, chitin; Each of the upper two bees has a singular antenna and wing, though they don't seem to have a full body. The one on the bottom, however, has a body, but the segmentation is unclear and it still does not have any legs. If it's female, this one also has a red patch on its forehead, while the males do not have this at all. Finally, all of them have two, far too small eyes, and strangely mammalian mouths.

Well? What of the behavior of this colony then? Well, as we already know, Vespiquen is the queen of the hive, as well as being the hive itself. However, the system of their sociality is quite unique from that of honey bees or even of Vespid wasps. Each colony might contain hundreds of Combee, however, these Combee aren't necessarily the offspring of the Vespiquen, as its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Shield states: "Vespiquen that give off more pheromones have larger swarms of Combee attendants". This implies that some Combee might be summoned into the colony, rather than being born into it.

Furthermore, the Pokédex entries from Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum read as follows: "Its abdomen is a honeycomb for grubs. It raises its grubs on honey collected by Combee"; "When endangered, grubs from its six-cell honeycomb strike back. There is only one in a colony"; "It releases various pheromones to make the grubs in its body do its bidding while fighting foes". These entries confirm that, for one, the Combee will collect/produce honey, thus also providing the ecosystem service of pollinating, while also confirming Vespiquen also produces at least some of the offspring of the colony. However, the fact that they specifically state that the grubs "strike back" or "do its bidding" is highly confusing. In the real world, larvae of social wasps such as paper wasps, yellowjackets, hornets, and honey bees (among multiple other examples) are wingless, stingless, and barely move.

[Image Source: Wikimedia Commons, Waugsberg | Image ID: A photo showing eight bee larvae arranged in order of age as they mature and harden into their pupae /End IDs.]

It implies that their young have some form of defensive abilities. But not only that, it implies that these Pokémon should have an additional life stage, possibly even two additional life stages, as the larvae reasonably should hatch from eggs (as Pokémon are known to do), live as larvae for a while, and then form pupae, before developing into adults. This part is made even more strange by the fact that fully formed, adult Combee can be hatched from an egg—Which brings me to my next point of discussion, that being, both male and female Combee are fertile, and do not need a Vespiquen, nor even another Combee for that matter, to produce offspring. This is strange, seeing as drone bees (as in; Male bees), as is true for male wasps in general, are fertile, while worker caste female bees are not fertile, with the males requiring a queen in order to mate.

Interestingly, regardless of level or sex, Combee cannot learn Poison Sting, which implies that even female Combee do not have a stinger until they evolve into Vespiquen. It makes sense for male Combee to be incapable of learning the move, as drones do not possess the ovipositor necessary to deliver a sting; However, if a Combee is a fully formed adult, as it appears to be, a female should be perfectly capable of performing this move. This could help explain why they join together with Vespiquen, it provides extra protection, as it can learn Poison Sting, and would be able to sting repeatedly in the real world even if it were a honey bee, as a queen is capable of delivering multiple stings due to having a stinger that is far less prone to getting caught on skin.

Well, at least that's all of the confusion somewhat settled when it comes to the social structure of these colonies, right? Right? WRONG. Because if we have Vespiquen, male and female Combee, and the as of yet unseen "grubs", then what, might I ask, are these?

[Image ID: A screenshot of a Pokémon battle, in which a swarm of non-Combee bees has surrounded the opponent due to Vespiquen using the move Attack Order /End IDs.]

"Oh, but Miss Jupiter, this is just the visual effect associated with some random Pokémon move, surely it doesn't mean anything about Vespiquen specifically!" is something you might say, and normally I would be inclined to agree with you, if not for the fact that this is one of Vespiquen's signature moves. Literally no other Pokémon in the games, barring maybe another Pokémon using something like Mirror Move or Mimic, can actually learn Attack Order—Only Vespiquen can ever learn this move naturally. The implications of this are fascinating, given that these bees CANNOT be fully formed Combee, as there's only one of them, but they also can't be the aforementioned "grubs" given the fact that said larvae shouldn't have wings or that distinctly adult body. So then, this species has four or even five distinct castes (depending on the possible sexes of these bees)? Why are these not their own Pokémon as well? Are these all Vespiquen's offspring, as they should be, or are they also attracted to its nest via pheromones? Are these just separated Combee?

This strikes me with another question too; What happens to the other two bees when a Combee evolves into a Vespiquen? Perhaps they separate and the other two become dedicated workers, part of this swarm, or maybe they outright fuse together into one, singularly thinking organism. Regardless, I'm... Confused.

In the end, I suppose that things could be worse, but it's just not very good, to be honest. It's as fascinating as it is confusing, which is to say, very. Of course, this is honestly fine, given that it's Pokémon and it's really not meant to be accurate, but it's a bit disappointing even compared to Beedrill. So, my rating would have to be...

-

Overall: 3/10

-

Leave your wasp review suggestion in the replies, tags, or askbox!

[jrswritings]

Tingles and Giggles - Chapter Twenty-Five - Tyler Owens x Reader

Get caught up with Chapters 1-24 on the Masterlist! :)

Chapter Twenty-Five - In Your Dreams, Loverboy

After helping clean up from lunch, you and Tyler decided to get a motel room in the heart of your hometown so you wouldn’t have to stay at your parents. You were dreading dinner, and it was only a few hours away. Thankfully, your aunt and uncle let Cash stay at their place for the night, and you’d drop off Waylon and Willie on your way to town after dinner. 

While you zoned out in the passenger seat, Tyler gently grabbed your hand and pulled it to his lips to kiss your knuckles softly. 

“Is everything okay, baby?” He asked softly, his lips brushing the back of your hand. 

“Yeah, just a little uptight about dinner tonight. My parents were more heartbroken when I left my deadbeat ex than I was, and I was the one who was cheated on. After Jamie was gone, they never treated me the same,” you sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry, honey,” he said softly. “If you get uncomfortable during dinner, we can up and leave. No one said we needed to stay the whole time.” 

“If we do that, I don’t think I’d ever be welcomed back aside from getting my stuff,” you mumbled. “But maybe that’s what I need to do.” 

“I doubt that; you’re their child,” he said. 

“Just wait until we have dinner with them,” you groaned, motioning for Tyler to take a right to get to the Silver Saddle Inn.

“Baby, no matter what happens, I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he said, glancing over at you. 

You sighed; you knew he was right. You’d have to die for him to leave you be, and even then, he’d probably get in the casket with you. Tyler putting the truck in park pulled you from your thoughts. 

“Let’s get our room and go for a walk. Maybe some fresh air will help your anxiousness,” Tyler said, getting out and grabbing the two bags you brought with you. 

“Maybe,” you said, getting out and grabbing your purse from the center console. 

The two of you walked into the lobby of the inn and were greeted by the mount of a Longhorn Bull. 

“Howdy folks! Welcome to the Silver Saddle Inn. My name is Danielle. Is it just the two of you staying?” The blonde-haired gal said from behind the front desk. 

“Yes,” you said, opening up your wallet and laying down your ID and debit card. 

“Perfect. How many nights?” She asked, moving the cards where she could read them. 

“Probably just the weekend, check out Monday morning,” you said, “But it could be shorter.” 

“Alright, we have one king bed that’s non-smoking on the second floor and a corner unit that also has a small patio. Does that work for you?” Danielle asked. 

“Yes,” you said, hating how long it takes to check into a hotel.

“Great! I’ll have you sign where the three x’s are and then initial four times on the back side of that page. There’s no smoking or pets allowed. There is a pool and gym available from 9 am to 8 pm during the week and 9 am to 10 pm on weekends. There is also a free continental breakfast available between 6 am and 10 am. If you plan on staying longer than Monday, please just let whoever is at the front desk know.”

“Okay,” you said, signing the spots she told you to.

“Here are your room keys, room number 220. The elevator is through that doorway next to the longhorn and to the left,” Danielle said, handing you the plastic key cards, your ID, and debit card. 

“Thank you,” you and Tyler said in unison, heading to the elevator. 

“She must love her job,” Tyler said softly to you with a chuckle. 

“No kidding,” you giggled, pressing the up button. 

“I’m going to shower quick before we head out. I feel gross,” Tyler said, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. 

“You smell gross, too,” you said, sliding the key into the lock on the door. 

“That’s rude,” he scoffed. “You don’t have to agree so fast.”

“Well, have you smelled yourself in the last hour?” You laughed, holding the door open for him. 

“Unfortunately,” he said, putting the bags down on the couch in the corner of the room. 

“I’ll freshen up once you’re out since I didn’t do as much manual labor,” you said, looking at your dirty face in the mirror by the bathroom door. 

“Could always shower with me,” Tyler said with a smirk.

“In your dreams, loverboy,” you said, taking out a tank top and a pair of jeans. 

“Someday, not just my dreams,” he said, heading into the bathroom and turning the shower on. “You can come in here while I’m showering to do that, though. You don’t have to wait until I’m done. I’m not shy.” 

“Good lord,” you laughed, “Go shower.” 

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, tossing his dirty clothes out into the bathroom doorway. 

You took your phone out of your pocket and saw quite a few notifications. A few from social media, a text from Asher, and one from Caleb. Tossing your phone onto the bed, you grabbed your toiletries bag and headed into the bathroom, only once confirming in the mirror that he was in the shower. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror for longer than 30 seconds made you realize how filthy you actually were. Not dirty enough for a shower, but in need of a good face wash. You turned the sink on to get warm water going while digging through your bag to get your face wash. 

“Are there any places you want to show me while we’re in your hometown, babe?” Tyler asked, peeking out from behind the curtain with his hair full of suds.

“I’ll think about it,” You giggled softly.

In reality, there were a lot of places you could think of, but they were all tied to your ex and the bad memories he brought into your mind. You knew you couldn’t live in the past forever, but it was sure hard to move forward. You washed and rinsed your face, patting it dry with a towel. You put on deodorant and one of the body sprays you brought with you. 

“You smell good,” Tyler said while turning the shower off. 

“I bet you do too now,” you said, brushing through your hair. 

“You wanna come sniff?” He said, reaching out and grabbing a towel from the rack. 

“I’ll wait,” you laughed, putting a layer of mascara on. 

“If you say so, darling,” he said, sliding the curtain open to reveal his wet body and bright white towel around his waist. 

It could have been the lighting or that the man you could call your boyfriend was one of the hottest in Texas, but his body shimmered with the water droplets on his skin, and it made you started to blush a soft pink. It was made even worse when he came up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist, pressing his warm chest to your back and kissing your neck softly, making you melt in his embrace.

Taglist: @fanboyswhore9 @faith719 @ummmeg @nerdgirljen @winterassassin1804 @smoothdogsgirl @xbox5angelx @ifilwtmfc @djs8891 @watashiwababy @mackevanstanfan80 @x3zerochanx3

[rangersveppir]

A history of Ranger Capture Stylers (from the view of the various models)

Howdy! This is a post I have been meaning to make for a while, this is essentially a list of every (publicly known) Capture Styler, not all of these will have photos but I have done by best none the less. Now first as many people know Hastings was originally going to call the device we know as a Styler "The Capture Loopy-Looper" and this is where some weird naming nonsense comes into play. So the first ever "Styler" was the Proto-Styler.

Proto-Styler.

Or as it is labeled the S.T.Y.L.E.R. (Spin-Tuned Yoked Link for Emotional Regulation), this was the first ever styler, its a bulky machine about the old style Poke-Center healers they used in Kalos, or for a less specific example about the size of two Metagross staked ontop one another. This big ol' boy had a small screen and a keyboard used to direct the Capture Disc. The capture disk for this original was about a foot across and weighed about 10 lbs. The machine itself required a constant power supply to run and was basically stationary so it wasn't very useful. Not to mention you had to do the calculations for how far the disc had to move yourself before typing in those numbers in on the keypad. It gets its mention here for being the first device to do basically what the modern Styler does today. Now onto the weird naming, so the Ranger Union and Hastings himself refer to this device as either a "Proto-styler" "The Prototype Styler" or "The Looper" however Hastings' documentation and patents call it the acronym I listed at the start of this section. From what I was able to find by looking through old interviews with Hastings it looks like the "The Capture Loopy-Looper" name was played around with because he feared the S.T.Y.L.E.R. acronym would be too weird for most people to understand and it wasn't until he noticed that his assistants were calling the new portable model they were working on a "Styler" to avoid saying the long official name did he decide to change it to the "Capture Styler" we know today.

Styler MK. 1

This is the first version of the Capture Styler and the first one I ever used, when I joined the rangers these guys were in their prime so its what I am most comfortable with even if that is kind of crazy. So the MK. 1 has a hand held section that's similar in design to the the fine styler but has an antenna like the MK 2 with the MK 1's antenna being about as long as the device itself. You hold it like you would hold a TV remote and make gestures to guide the Capture disk, the disk itself is released from a launcher on the bottom end of the handheld. The handheld is connected by a wire to a large battery pack. The larger ones could be worn as backpacks with the smaller ones hanging from your hip. These bad boys had enough power to keep the Styler charged for a whole three capture (six with the backpack sized pack). And if the disk was hit by a pokemon that would essentially knock you down a capture. It was not the best but it did its job, though I will never be as fit as I was back then lugging a 40 lbs. Battery pack to base so I could swap it out with a fresh one and continue work after capturing a beedrill. The one upside of the MK. 1 is the capture effect tended to be much stronger than with the modern stylers, as such if a capture with a MK. 1 would take 3 loops it might take a modern Styler 7 or 8 loops. But for most people that doesn't make up for the downsides, it cant use Pokemon Assist, it cannot be charged using pokemon and power cable on the handheld is damaged or severed its down for the count. The disks themselves were rather large not as big as those for "The Looper" but they still weighed a whole 3 lbs. and really hurt if you didn't seat them properly into the launcher, I am getting phantom toe pain just thinking about it.

Styler MK. 2 The second version of the Styler was a massive upgrade, it first introduced an internal battery, the disk was more durable so instead of losing a third of your charge from any contact the disk itself loses charge, pokemon can now recharge the styler.

The MK. 2 is one of those stylers most people think of when the imagine a pokemon ranger the hand-held device with the top and the pointing. It is the first Styler to be able to use Pokemon Assists. Styler MK. 3

Now we get to the not-so-fun part of this history, now if you look at the MK. 2 you will notice they were manufactured by "Mill Bros. Electronics" who used to be a large electronics manufacturing company in the Fiore region, though they had factories in many places. For the MK. 2 they had been hired to mass produce the stylers, and they were also tasked with the same for the MK. 3 however by this time Mill bros. was doing pretty poorly, they had just lost their factory in Fall City, which was one of their largest and had also lost contracts with a few other companies they had been producing products for, so with money tight they decided to cut some corners, specifically with the battery, the batteries planned for the MK 3 were heavy duty numbers designed to take a beating and handle electric type attacks like a champ, instead Mill Bros. used a weaker and cheaper battery and hoped no-one would notice, and probably they would have gotten away with it, except these batteries had a tendency to explode rather violently often injuring the rangers using them with nearly 300 injuries related to it in the first year (most were minor, just mild burns, others not so much) needless to say Mill Bros. does not exist anymore and the ranger union has their own manufacturing company now. As for the MK. 3 Itself it looks like a MK. 4 (what most people associate with a student styler) just slightly larger, with a longer handle, the handle was deigned to stick out of the hip-holster designed for it, so it could be pulled out at a moment's notice. You can tell a MK. 3 from a MK. 3.5 or 4 by looking for the Mill Bros. logo on the bottom of the device near the charging port (there will also be the model number MB30141). If you find you have been issued a MK. 3 or fine one in like a drawer or something you can turn it in to the ranger union for ₽2500, or 1 years worth of credit at the Ranger Union HQ cafeteria. Styler MK. 3.5 A rapid follow up to disaster of the MK 3. was the 3. 5 they look almost identical to the MK 3 but use a smaller more stable batter and tend to be slighter smaller over all. Not much to say it is just the MK 3 but does not explode.

Styler MK. 4

This is the styler most rangers reading this have use or have used, if you have been to any ranger academy you have used a modified MK. 4

Small compact with the disc being released from the yellow launcher seen on the head of the device. These guys are still in wide use today and are designed to be semi-disposable, if it is damaged just turn it back in for repair or replacement.

Fine Styler (MK. 5)

The Fine Styler aka the MK. 5 is a more powerful version of the MK. 4. It is strapped to the wrist instead of held in the hand and require a lot more training to use.

Super Styler (MK. 5.?)

Not much is known about this one so I wont be covering it, but I know if I did not list it I would have to deal with the tsunami of people saying I forgot it.

Styler MK. 7

The most recently released styler, its designed to be worn on the wrist similar to a watch and is similar in power and features to the Fine Styler in a much smaller package. It also has a built in AI that can help keep the ranger informed. These came out last year and I have yet to see one in person so I can say too much on how effective they are but the Union seems proud of them.

So yeah, thats all the publicly available styler models, for those interested I use a modified MK 1. (the union let me keep it after I retired, an antique for an antique I guess haha) I modified it to use a MK 2. Capture Disk so its a lot more useful. It's not winning any awards for looks though.

Anyway hope I was able to teach you something, stay safe out there.

[great-and-small]

Howdy, just saw your post about frat looking dudes in an undergraduate entomology course and three of them being turf grass majors…I think you may have run into my students??? Like did this happen this semester?

I mean there’s a good number of universities that offer turf grass management degrees so it may not be, but it’d be a funny coincidence. Was this college in Texas by chance?

I love that these people exist across the country at turf grass schools but this did not take place in Texas 😅

I’m so amused by the dichotomy of students taking entomology because they love insects and the others taking it because they need to know what pesticides to use for their future golf course. That’s hilarious

[rolesturnz]

DAY IN A LIFE (the sturnaholics)

8:00AM: Wake-Up Call

The day started with Stella SCREAMING into a megaphone she bought on Amazon at 3am while half-asleep.

"WAKE THE FUCK UPPPP BITCHES!!!"

Moya swung a pillow at her face immediately. Missed. Hit Angii instead.

Angii sat up, dead-eyed, and said, "Kill me now."

Elle and Cherry?

Still asleep, cuddled together on the couch, looking peaceful.

(Demons resting before another attack.)

9:00AM: Breakfast (aka CHAOS)

Mi was the only one actually trying to cook. She made pancakes.

The others?

Mari set off the smoke alarm trying to make "aesthetic TikTok bacon."

Leilani put orange juice in cereal because she "wanted to try something new" and almost got jumped.

Leonor threw grapes at everyone while yelling "CATCH BITCH!"

Lele dared Angii to eat a whole stick of butter and the sick fuck actually considered it.

Meanwhile, Cherry was still half-asleep and mumbled,

"I’d rather be eating Matt’s—"

LOUD BOOING.

PILLOWS THROWN.

UTENSILS FLYING.

Mi: "YOU NEED HELP GIRL."

Elle (not helping): "You think you would hit too though? Be honest."

11:00AM: "Productive" Time

Everyone agreed they needed to "be productive."

(AKA, pretend for Instagram.)

Meira set up a fake picnic to take pictures.

Moya tried to teach everyone yoga but Stella kept falling and yelling "I GOT THAT WAP—WEAK ASS PELVIS!"

Mi said "let’s journal and manifest!"

Cherry said "I’m manifesting a DICK in my life."

Everyone groaned.

At one point, Lele climbed a tree to take "artsy" pics but got stuck.

Leilani had to call the fire department.

The firefighter was hot.

Cherry IMMEDIATELY flirted.

Elle dared her to ask for his number.

SHE DID.

SHE GOT IT.

Mi fell on the grass and screamed "THIS IS A WHORE HOUSE" into the earth.

2:00PM: Mall Trip (DISASTER.)

First store: Mi tried to buy a normal shirt.

Moya dared her to pick a "MILF in training" crop top instead.

She bought it.

In Sephora:

Elle and Cherry started putting glitter on everyone’s faces until security gave them "the look."

Stella bought a giant ass cowboy hat and wore it the rest of the day screaming "HOWDY MOTHERFUCKERRRRSSS" at random strangers.

Mari and Leilani got kicked out of Bath and Body Works because they kept spraying "Japanese Cherry Blossom" directly into each other’s mouths.

Leonor bought a shirt that said "Certified Lover Girl" and said she was gonna wear it to court one day.

5:00PM: Food Court Terror

Everyone got food.

For exactly FIVE minutes everything was normal.

Then:

Cherry (eating fries): "Imagine sitting on Matt’s face and—"

Everyone: "BROOOO."

Elle: "No like I get it though. Like suffocate him a little. A healthy amount."

Lele dropped her drink.

Mari started wheezing.

Moya was red as a tomato.

Mi threatened to leave.

Stella, with a mouth full of pizza, screamed: "LET THAT MAN CHOKE GODDAMMIT."

An old lady heard.

She clutched her pearls and moved three tables away.

7:00PM: Drive Home

Everyone was exhausted.

Mi was driving, regretting all her life choices.

Stella screamed out the window at random people: "I LOVE YOU! BE MY BABY DADDY!"

Elle and Cherry were in the back seat, whispering freaky jokes again.

Moya played "hot seat" and started asking everyone "how many times you’ve thought about fucking your celeb crush today."

Leilani admitted to thinking about it "at least 17 times."

Leonor said "at least 30" and didn’t even blink.

Angii pretended she was asleep to avoid answering.

Mari accidentally confessed she had a dream where she married two guys at once and forgot which one was her husband.

SUMMARY:

Freaky jokes: Constant.

Brain cells: Nonexistent.

Friend group: Absolutely, unconditionally, stupidly perfect.

WHAT'S NEXT ? :: THE STURNAHOLICS GOES ON A TRIP ???

@dolliraez @cherryswifeyy @scorpio1205 @luvs4matt @vanteguccir @jointlesss @leonorsbubble @leisturni @sturns-mermaid @mi-co-uk

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Looky Loo Puzzle

Looky Loo Code

I’ve been wrestling with this thing for a couple of weeks now, so I’m passing this on in the hopes that it makes sense to someone, or sparks an idea of their own.  I just ask that you let me know what you think, so I can stop making myself crazy.  I am very bad at puzzles as much as I like them.  We start with the stickers page.

Notes on the stickers: 

Directions they are looking

Wally looking left

Julie is closing one eye and winking with the other; the text in news says “keep an eye on” which makes me think this is a major clue, but I’m not getting it.

Frank is looking off to the right

Howdy is looking to the center

Home is looking off to the right

Poppy is looking up and to the right

Eddie is looking down and to the right

Sally is looking up and to the right

Barnaby is looking to the left.

Characters they are looking at if you follow the gaze:

Wally is looking at no one, unless off page counts as a continuance, then it would be Frank

Julie is looking at Frank

Frank, same as Wally but reversed (and I kind of have them as adversaries in my head)

Howdy is looking at Poppy

Poppy is looking off screen, or at Wally

Eddie is looking off screen or at the mail or at Julie

Sally is looking at Poppy

Barnaby appears to be looking at Sally

Additional details:

Almost all of the water balls have a character with their eyes closed.  The exceptions are Howdy (in between two characters with their eyes closed) and Wally (eyes seem to be open but facing away from us)

3 characters (plus 2 of Howdy’s family members) are singing

On the sparkly versions of the gifs, Poppy’s and Eddie’s mouths are moving

Some of the characters have sparkles on their blue areas only.  Exceptions are Julie (full sparkle below the neck), Frank (sparkles on the black, he doesn’t have much blue), Poppy (all of Poppy, but not her nest, Howdy (full sparkle)

Only on blue:  Wally, Eddie, Sally, Barnaby

So, I have two different methods I was considering:

 Use an alphabet cypher, with the alphabet listed out in rows of five, with one square housing 2 numbers.  I used c/k as it was the example I found, but I/J or X/Y makes more sense.

That one doesn’t really use the stickers page, so in trying to adapt the model to the stickers page, I thought maybe the characters need to be turned into the alphabet code, with three letters for each character, and one for home.

Using the first method, I solved for two variables.  Everyone is pointing to the “start with a musical monster” as the instruction as to where to start, but I’m torn between starting with J for Julie or M for Musical Monster.  So I did both.  The way this went was laying out the alphabet in a 5 x 5, with C/K:

And then I used the directional arrows to take me to the next letter.  If on an edge and told to go northwest, for example, I would move one line up and then one line west. In the instance of V, that would be U.  There is the difficulty of what to do with the eyes that are looking straight ahead, but I used that as a repeat of the letter before.  On other matches, I treated those directions as individual.  So if I started on M, it would be S then Y.

Starting with M (Remember C/K is shared):

SYZDY/XCGCI/DCWQM/HMMMS

Starting with J:

LRSWR/QVEVB/WVUOJ/AJJJL

Obviously, this makes no sense, so I put it in a substitution cipher decoder and got things that looked almost like words:

M—CTINTHERMONEDASUSSSC

IN THERE

J—NTISTHEREASEDCOLOOON

IS THERE A SECOND LONT; THERE IS A SECOND

There is also the option of treating the repeated directions as the same letter, in which case it is:

M—SSTXS/RWAWC/XWQQM/HMMMS

J—LLMQL/PUYUV/QUOOJ/AJJJL

Through the decoder, and it is:

M—TTHETWASAREALLINIIIT

THE REAL WAS A LINIT TT; THERE WAS A

J—TTINTHEREONELLSASSST

THERE IS ONE LAST TT

Also almost words.  These seem to be more words than the above.  I have also considered that the repeated positions indicate a capital.

I went ahead and calculated for a shared I/J and got:

M Repeated=TTONTHEREANESSIMIT

M No repeated=MONTOHEREDSTICALAM

J Repeated=OOSHOWERETHELLINIO

J Not repeated=URPARTISIONATHELEC

Shared W/X:

M Repeated=OODCONTHERIESSANAL

M No repeated=CISMORELETTHEYCANAM

J Repeated=RMCOMANINGONTHESNER

J No repeated=TTINTHEREANESSOFOT

Now for 2: 

Seeing as there were some references to brickwork/masons, the pig pen cypher seems like a logical choice.  Also, there are 4 images for each character. 

Based on the 4 gif being very different and the letters of the alphabet, I went with 3 for each character and one for Home:

And so on, with Home being N and a shared I/J

The weakness of this theory is that I have no indication of which letter in the grid to select for each character.  I could take the doubled symbols at an indication it is the second letter, but there isn’t really any indicator for the third. 

Or it could be that closed/open eyes are an indicator?

I have also tried the straight up follow it around the stickers and use the first letter of the names, but Home and Howdy kind of ruin that to start with, and it is a very limited set of letters.

I have tried converting the positions to numbers, starting with 1 at Julie and going clockwise (because we have had a couple of clocks, as well as Julie’s one eye is closed and the other is open and looking to the right). 

I used 9 for home in one string and 0 for home in the next.  I also considered the centered eyes on row 5 to be home:

W=8

J=1

F=2

H=7

00,99

P=3

E=6

S=5

B=4

I also reversed it into counterclockwise, because why not.

44361755241788236994

If it is going to be analogous to letters, there can be no value greater than 26.  I decided to try to assign each number to a letter, using two integers when it wasn’t over 26

4 4 3 6 17 5 5 24 17 8 8 23 6 9 9 4

4 4 3 6 17 5 5 24 17 8 8 23 6 0 0 4

(there is no letter for zero)

Adding is an idea, but I don’t know what quantities to group.  I could go as high as possible without going over 26, I could do pairs?

25 24 21 17 13

25 24 21 10

These aren’t many, so it doesn’t seem to work

8 9 8 10 6 8 16 5 15 13

Not a lot of variety in pairs.

And what to do with those?  I can give them a letter assignment:

4 4 3 6 17 5 5 24 17 8 8 23 6 9 9 4

D D C F Q  E E  X  Q  H H W F I I D

But what to do then, I would assume the same decoder as before:

RRENATTHASSINGGR

Nothing stands out there.  I’m at a loss.  Ideas?

[amybizarre]

RF Wally (Haunted Morgue)

Working the nightshift in the factory's morgue is about the worst shift anyone could get. Not because of the work itself, no. Depending on how you view it of course.

The work in the morgue wasn't too complicated. You are given a number of bodies all wrapped in body bags and stored in morgue freezers. They're mostly failed test subjects or subjects that have gone through the spectra extraction process on the Pegasus Device. Sometimes... They're unlucky workers though, who have fallen victim to either the machines or the bosses wrath...

Either way, your job then is to simply burn them all in the crematorium. Simple, right? Well... The terrifying part only starts when you run out of things to do and are left sitting there, having to wait for the end of your shift. Only then are you no longer able to ignore the little noises or happenings around you. Like taps from the insides of the freezers. Or lights turning off by themselves. Or whispers from just around the corner.

As soon as your work is finished, you are forced to just... Sit there. And listen to them. Feeling one shiver after the other crawl down your spine.

Tonight, you were that unlucky employee. Unfortunately there wasn't much for you to do. There were only three bodies to burn and after one and a half hours of work, you were left with six and a half hours of waiting before being allowed to clock out. Seriously, who scheduled this shift?!

Anyway, after burning the last body you tried to busy yourself with cleaning and desinfecting the already sterile morgue freezers. Maybe you'll even mop the floors later, just so you could pretend to be busy. But the ghosts didn't care about your plans.

First the light above your head flickered. You tried to ignore it and kept wiping down the freezer door you were currently cleaning. But then it turned off entirely and you heard a whisper in the now dark room.

"Help me"

Both, hot and cold flashes shot through your body and you scrambled toward the light switch. You had to flick it at least twice before the light came on again.

When it did...

The room was empty.

You stared at the scene for a moment, frozen in shock and breathing deeply. Trying to process what had happened.

Until the freezer door you were just working on just shut by itself.

Although the movement was slow, the resulting clang of the door was loud enough to make you jump out of your shocked state and into a sprint up the stairs. Classic morgue, always in the basement.

Fuckfuckfuck- No way in hell am I dealing with this, nu uh!

Frantic thoughts crammed your brain as you ascended the stairs to ground level at light speed. Maybe you could wait out your shift in the lobby. Or better yet, the cafeteria! Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. If you were lucky enough, Howdy would be there too. He managed the cafeteria and had spent your breaks during nightshifts with you there multiple times. Each time you found yourself spooked by things in the factory, he'd have a cup of tea and some encouraging words for you at the ready.

Ahh, friends were a great thing to have.

As you sheepishly shuffled through the lobby towards the cafeteria you were painfully aware of the security cameras following your every move. If anyone asked you about this, you'd tell them you were on an early break. Which wasn't even a lie, to be fair. There was just no way to drag you back down to the morgue for the better part of at least two hours....

Much to your dismay, you didn't find Howdy in the cafeteria though. In his stead, you found the bossman himself. Dr Darling, getting himself some coffee at the self serve station.

You stopped dead in your tracks and stared at the notoriously grumpy man's back for a while.

Shit. You didn't feel like explaining to him that you were scared of ghosts. He was a man of science! He wouldn't buy it and call you lazy!

"Take a picture, it'll last longer.", the boss grumbled, his back still facing you as he stirred his cup.

Well frick. No use hiding now. You didn't know what to say in your defense, so just shamefully redirected your gaze at the floor.

In your peripheral vision, Dr Darling turned around to you. Upon seeing your pale face and shaky limbs, he arched a brow.

A beat of silence. He cleared his throat.

"Alright, fine.", he sighed almost begrudgingly. "What's wrong?"

You hesitated. Should you just tell him? What's the worst that could happen?

"The morgue's haunted and I'm not going back down!", you suddenly blurted out, shutting your eyes tightly. Way to go.

He sighed. "This rumor again?"

You frantically shook your head and explained to him what happened. Now that you were saying it out loud it sounded kinda lame.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging it tiredly. "Look, I'm sure whatever happened down there can be explained rationally. Let's go down and check."

He was already on his way past you and out the door, but your petrified expression made him stop.

Geez, when did your knees become so wobbly...? You had to lean on the wall for support, quietly shaking your head again.

"N-No, please...!"

Dr Darling stared you down, coffee cup clutched in his prosthetic hand.

"...Did you finish all your work down there?"

"Yeah."

Another sigh from him and he put a hand on your shoulder, guiding you towards a table.

"There. Sit down. I'll go check it out myself."

You quietly sat down. He left, presumably to go and do as he said. You nervously twiddled your thumbs, anxious thoughts still running high. Waiting got tiresome and unbearable fairly quickly. To occupy yourself with something else than the scary morgue you got up and made yourself some tea.

Soon you were sat down again, cradling the warm cup between your hands. About five minutes later, Dr Darling returned.

He was notably paler now and stared at you wide eyed.

"Holy fuck-", was all he said.

"Yup, tell me about it.", you replied, staring at your own reflection on the tea.

He sat down across from you, mimicing your posture. For a while that was all you two were doing. Nobody dared interrupt the thoughts of the other. Eventually you took heart.

"Soooo, I don't have to go back there, right?"

"Considering that you're all finished with tonight's bodies... You're dismissed." He only gave in reluctantly. But you were relieved either way.

Deciding to take the teacup with you, you got up.

"Thank you, sir. I'll be heading to bed then. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

[valscodblog]

Howdy there, partner! 🤠

Congrats on your first request bbg. Your writing is so freaking juicy i wanna marry it 🤑 Seriously, your Valeria fics? *Chefs kiss*

anywhos, request? Do you write for Kate Laswell? Would you be willing to write something fluffy of Kate coming home after that one time she smoked on-screen, only to be met with her pant-pissingly-scary-wifes scolding?

aaaggghhh take that you lovable bastard. Thank you for your time 🫂

–Jooseboxxe 🧃

FUCK YESSSSS, PLEASE SEND ME SOME SHIT FOR KATE MY BABY, i love her so much it's not funny anymore. she is me, i am her-

ANYWAYS! (so sorry this is such a late reply omfg)

"SMOKING AGAIN?" Kate Laswell x Black!F!Reader

Warnings: CRRRACK fluf, bc yes. Some cussig bc my addicted to it (better than drugs, kids.) uhmmm 13+ fic, AND ANYWAYS IF UR YOUNGER THAN THAT GET TF OFF OF TUMBLR???? WHAT THE FUCK!???

a/n: WHY AINT THIS WOMAN REAL AND MARRIED TO ME??? TF??

"Hey, Katie, welcome ho-what's that smell?"

and cue Kate Laswell, this head strong, very intelligent, very pretty, and very calm and collected woman, starting to Tremble.

"It's uhmm, from John. He was smoking in office again and I-" "Kate, im no idiot. You had a cig, didn't you?" and Kate nodded. "Dishes, landuray, gardening, bathroom, and you have to sleep on the couch for a month." Kate's mouth fell open, "I-Im not sleeping on the fuckin' couch, Y/n!" "Oh really?"

cue the biggest stare down Kate's ever had with her wife.

"I made myself very fucking clear when I told you no more smoking. I said so right after we said out vows, before we even kissed! I told you no more smoking and yeah, you said sure and kept your word, but this is the fifth time since you started with one four one that you smoked, Kate!" Y/n said at the speed of light, and Kate had to reply it in her head three times just to understand the first sentence and nothing more.

"Listen, Babe, I-" "No. I'm putting my foot the fuck down, Kate! Your done! I'll call John myself and tell him. Fuck-I'll cal everyone in one four one to tell them!" and Kate laughed. "You don't even have their numbers, Darling." "I'll find them!" "How, Baby, how?" "You leave your laptop open all the time!" "Like i'd risk writing down their numbers in my laptop."

"Oh, fuck you!" and Kate laughed even more, "Gladly, My Dear. Just-" "Not like that, Kate!" and finally, her wife laughed with her. And they just laughed for a good three minuets before Y/n said, "As much as I hate your habit...I'm happy your home, Katie." and Kate pressed a soft kiss to her wife's forehead. "Me too..."

"you're still sleeping on the couch though."

"Baaaabe, c'mon!"

[forestfrolickingfairy787]

Linked Universe Head Canons: The chain as call administrators

idk where this idea came from, lol enjoy

Time

we already know it, he’s very prompt and VERY good at his job, starts on the dot at 9am and is ready to answer the phone, pronto. Honestly sounds a bit intimidating to the caller, just here to do his job and answer very straightforward which can be a bit scary but he’s actually really nice once you start asking him questions. Won’t put you on hold for too long and will probably send you a follow up email with a summary and extra info. 10/10 service

Warriors

Also excellent at his job, ready to take the calls but only spends five to ten minutes answering them. If it’s not his area he’ll pass you on to someone else, and might keep you on hold. If you’re rude, he will actually do this on purpose for like half an hour with some stupid and infuriating music in the back and take his sweet ass time to get back to you. It really depends on the customer, if they’re nice he’s nice, if they’re a bitch he’ll be more of a bitch to you.

Wild

look, he’s trying his best but he can’t sit still at this office desk. Won’t take the first five calls because he still needs time to prep himself and will keep it off the hook during odd times because he just doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Might direct you to someone else if he’s not interested in answering. He’s not bad at this but he’s not great either. Might sometimes uses the office phone to prank call which nearly cost him his job, or if someone was really rude he’ll find their IP address and send them threatening anonymous messages. Also almost got him fired.

Twilight

Your day has already brightened up with his lovely voice, who wouldn’t want to listen to someone that answers with ‘Howdy how May I help you?’ He’s that one caller who just has the most lovliest and kindest voice ever. You don’t know what this man looks like, for goodness sake he’s just doing his job but wow he’s so helpful?? You wonder what he must be like in person. You know you hear someone and you just know they’re pretty in real life even though you’ve never seen them, that’s himmmm. Takes his time to really listen, very empathetic and will probably follow up again and make sure you get everything you need. Will definitely ask you how your day is before even getting to your question. Amazing service five stars chefs kiss ✨💖💝

Sky

Wait when did I fall asleep?? Okay he’s really trying his best but sitting down in a quiet room watching the phone all day is just creating the ambience for a nap. He got everything ready to take the day on, coffee and all but after half an hour of silence he just fell asleep and probably slept through half the missed calls. When he does answer it he’s very quick, very prompt but sometimes forgets to follow up. This just isn’t his passion and he’s only doing it to pay the bills really. But he’s so nice you can’t even be mad at him for it, life is hard.

Four

Will answer three calls at once, extremely efficient and always on top of everything. Won’t put you on hold for long but sometimes makes a few silly mistakes because he needs to SLOW down. He might come off a little curt but he doesn’t mean too, he’s just trying to do his job properly and time is of the essence here. He’s very committed until someone pisses him off then he’ll delay their call on purpose.

Wind

Watches the phone ring, wide eyed and nervous. He doesn’t really know how to do this, to be honest, and he’s not very confident at speaking either but he will get the job done. Might take his time but he’ll get there.

Legend

name number and address. No polite or small talk straight into business which might make you a little nervous. He absolutely cannot stand talking to anyone, but he needs money because Ravio has taken over his home and belongings. You can just tell he hates doing this, and frankly both parties want this to be over with. You sort of feel a bit empathetic for the guy, you can hear the lack of soul in his voice but he’s not intentionally rude. Just a little awkward and very tired of life in general. But if you are rude he will definitely swear at you and threaten to find you.