#and now I hurt

[oldlaomedeiia]

Desire thoughts time....mhmmmm because I'm totally normal about them.

Dream is always telling them they are slave to the mortals. A notion Desire refuses.

If they worked the way Dream wants, they sate all the desires that stem from the dreams he weaves. They are lord of all physical and emotional wants, needs and desires. They're responsible for the euphoria that comes after getting what you want. In their purest form, this is what they'd do.

And they do - they do it.

But after eons, of giving....would one not be tired? I think that's part of what causes them to morph into what they are now. They've always been impulsive, but I genuinely don't think they've been malicious from the start. They wouldn't have been Dream's favourite otherwise.

In short...or well long....

.They feel the wants of everyone, appear constantly as other people want them to. They don't feel like people see them behind their function. Without their control, they feel akin to a void. They feel lost, and it scares them. There's nothing there. If they don't cling to the illusion of power, they fear that they might change as their sibling did, and then Desire would be no more

And it's fucking exhausting.

The loneliest of the endless, Desire has enough of struggling unseen (even by their siblings), enough of sating everyone else and not themself, so they become the most cruel, malicious Endless we know. Clinging to power because if they let go, then WHAT ARE THEY?

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[jthepearlord]

me in 2012 watching gravity falls:

He he, I like clever hidden clues and mysteries :>

Me in 2024 screaming, crying, throwing up because I looked at the TADC merch after the latest episode:

I HATE YOU FORESHADOWING I HATE YOU!!!!!!! OUGHOUGGHGHGUOU

When you know a bit of narrative you can feel a well written story with an axe coming for you, "why would you make me care about him... You're trying to hurt me aren't you..."

There's two wolves inside me

One Wolf recognizes that it could be an interesting development and conflict and it makes sense story wise considering they made kinger a character pomni cares about and the trend of taking away comfort she gets. Plus showing what he is about, Even if in my opinion getting rid of him would be detrimental since we can still explore so much with him but it wouldnt make the story bad depending on where it goes from here :)

The second wolf

LEAVE MY POOR SCRIMBLO ALONE, I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM, LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!! I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY FOREVER!!! MY LIL MIU MIU!!!! L AVE HIM BEEEEEE I LOVE HIM!!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOUYUUUUU!!!!!! 😭💔

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[greykolla-art]

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

[akanemnon]

I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[maibeloved]

Need to draw them more actually ;((

[wasyago]

tango doodles

first you make up a guy and then you struggle to draw him correctly

[chloesimaginationthings]

What if Mike got the bad ending of the FNAF movie..

[iguessitsjustme]

Realllllllyyyyy hoping that what I just did doesn’t result in a sprained pinky and it’s just a bad bruise but hooo boy does it hurt

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Thistle Debut Day!

[sunfoxfic]

We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

[hinamie]

brighter days ahead

[majunju]

it took march 10 minutes to take this photo (they did not understand how to pose their hands)

[chez-cinnamon]

Nervous Caine my beloved, you draw him so well

Thank you!! Get very used to seeing him that way-

Despite being an AI, Caine displays a lot of anxiety and self deprecating symptoms, and being an AI, he does NOT know how to handle these feelings healthily. Also since I HC him as autistic, or displaying symptoms akin to autism, it makes understanding these negative emotions much harder, as well as expressing them.

Thankfully, he finds comfort in someone who really understands his feelings-