#and now she/it amane momose is real to me

[purgemarchlockdown]

Inflicting she/it Amane Momose on your brain now.

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 1 WEAKNESS vs. THE PURGE MARCH

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for WEAKNESS:

"This is definitely more of a personal anecdote. However, I’m neurodivergent (like Haruka) and struggle with knowing it causes quite a bit of disappointment for my mother. I cry about it a lot. But I find that putting on Weakness is soothing for me. Knowing that there’s a character out there with the same issues…. I don’t know. Just my experience."

---

"why weakness should win over umbilical: - THE SINGING THE HIGH NOTES - this song set the tone to what to expect for the trial songs to come (or what we expected) - the part where the song gets all slow paced and then picks up louder at the end it just done beautifully - it's haruka. - the singing sounds like a mix between of course singing and crying. the 'AHahA' sounds like manic laughing until the end when he's crying and it almost feels like he's sobbing while laughing. - the guitar and the drums complement his soft/sad-ish voice perfectly, especially at the beginning - very emotional, even if you didn't see the music video you can tell he's crying and mentally unwell I'm bad a propaganda, but vote for WEAKNESS!!!!"

Propaganda for THE PURGE MARCH:

"Despite the shorter length, the Purge March has several distinct sections in its structure.

It starts with a rolloff, and then… they don’t follow it. Amane isn’t here to follow the beat.

There’s the spoken-word intro and the upbeat first verse listing the tenets. The prechorus (“dou shiyou mo nai…”) has an amen break. The most-sampled four-bar drum beat. Well, there’s half of it. Is it supposed to mean something? Can I get an amen?

The chorus is so, so cheerful… unless you’re actually listening to the lyrics (“I’ll crush your throat too”) or watching the video. And it’s super catchy. 

The second part of the verse dials things back. Now we’re in reality. This is how Amane breaks her tenets. All the while, those tenets are spoken into both ears over the singing. Get some good headphones. She sounds different in each ear.

The music picks up again with the amen break as Amane happily strolls back home, and then-

Oh.

The somber second chorus, with Amane’s lower singing voice and mournful spoken words, leads into the final chorus, with new lyrics and a more forceful tone. The once-meaningless chanting now has real words. “You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please go ahead and die already.” You can hear Amane’s anger despite the cheerful melody. She harmonizes in the final phrase, as if to say “we’re in this together, me and my little color guard troop.” And finally, it’s just her. Speaking. "Oboetemasuka?" Accompanied by only a single drum.

She is both Amane Momose and not. She upholds the doctrines that she was raised with, but she can’t."

---

"Purge March is geniunaly one of my favorite pieces of fiction both in and out of the context of trauma. Its fantastically directed and composed. The batton twirling is spetacular and energetic, the set and character design of Amane conveys a lot about the world she’s in and the story she’s telling. Purge March contextulizes a lot of Magic in both expected and unexpected ways (insert the entire cat symbolism thesis here) Purge March casts Amane in the role of a scary child. The glowing eyes, the framing of Amane as Above the viewer, the brutality and catharsis of it all. It seems tailored made to make you Scared of her. It’s a continuation of the cycle of abuse that we the audience repeated in T1 when we gave her that verdict. A red flashing warning sign about the Inhumanity and Monsterous qualities of Amane Momose. But Amane as a monster is fufilling and freeing. Again, its deeply cathartic. I would write more if I wasnt so sleepy at the moment but its just some Fantastic work overall. Purge March is also just fantasitic vocally and also hids electricity sounds in the instrumental which I think is evil and awesome."

---

-Amane’s vocals and how they slowly get more and more off the deep end is both really sad and cool to watch.

-The symbolism of the marching band and the flags. Ifykyk

-The beginning where it sounds like a propaganda TV show… really shows just how far Amane’s thinking is rooted in her cult and how that’s shaped her perception.

-The LYRICS. They work so well but it’s also creepy AF considering it’s a child who’s singing it.

-“So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me!”

-The overlapping part… gives me chills everytime.

-Building off the last point, the last “I’ll crush your throat too.” Ouch.

-“Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?”

-The song also does a great job of showing how much the guilty verdict messed with her.

[oboetemasuka]

Stand Up

An "Order of Attack" side story.

Finally, Amane lays her regrets to rest.

(Quick art at the end)

-

Amane walked up to Fuuta's cell like she had many times before. She recited the words under her breath for the hundredth time, hoping that she wouldn't blank out this time.

What a racket was going on in his cell… If things were going this terribly for him, she had to intervene.

She rammed into the door shoulders first and toppled into the room.

At the far end of the cell, Kotoko was facing the wall. Fuuta was bloody and battered, cowering under her shadow.

The noise alerted Kotoko, and she swiftly turned around.

"Momose Amane. I didn't expect you to-"

"You are wrong!" Amane called out as she pushed herself to her feet.

"Me? No, the ones in the wrong are the ones who were judged guilty by Milgram." Kotoko strode closer to Amane. "And so I shall carry out-"

"Milgram is wrong!"

"What makes you so sure?" Red eyes bored into Amane's soul. 

She wanted to shrink and fall back, but she had a mission. "I hear these strange voices in my head, telling me that I am wrong. But they do not understand what I did. They assume I killed someone smaller than me. So I know that their judgment is flawed."

Under her stern and confident voice, Kotoko faltered.

"So… so what do the details matter? The fact remains that Milgram has judged you."

"And you attacked Fuuta-san based on a single judgment. You would attack me too, even after I stated my case. What gives you the right?"

"Enough of your nonsense." Kotoko swung the nightstick, but Amane blocked it with her hands. Her hands. She was free.

But the impact shook her vision, and she couldn't see out of one eye anymore.

Still, she bit back the pain and retaliated, shoving Kotoko to the ground. Now the roles were truly reversed.

"The warden has admitted their mistakes. They have reversed our judgments. They have forgiven all of the previously condemned prisoners. In doing so, they have told you that you are wrong."

Kotoko stared at her dumbfoundedly, but she couldn't stand up or find the words to argue.

"See, Milgram is…" Caught by a sudden light-headedness, Amane trailed off.

The voices were coming back.

-

"Oh, Amane-chan…"

"I told you they wouldn't want to hear about that. Look, you bored them both to sleep."

"That's too bad. Well, I suppose I should…"

-

Amane woke up to the snap of a camera and found Mahiru and Yuno with their backs turned to her. 

"Mm, what are you…?"

As Amane pushed herself up, she realized she was resting on Fuuta's shoulder. He was leaning back against the headrest of the wheelchair, silently snoring.

Mahiru turned to face Amane. "Oh, you're awake."

"Did you just take a… selfie of us?"

"Yeah! You looked so silly that I couldn't resist. Did you know that you-"

"Mahiru-san," Yuno chided. "She just woke up. Now's not the time.

Frankly, Amane would be content to join whatever fun they were having, even if she might have had the worst bedhead ever. But it would do her well to reorient herself first.

"Oh." Mahiru set down the camera. "For what it's worth, you really did look happy. Sweet dreams?"

"Yes. It was much better than reality." Amane looked down as she twiddled her fingers. "I wish… it was real."

Mahiru tipped her head and pressed a finger to her chin. "It must have been an amazing dream, then. What was it about?"

"I stood up to Yuzuriha Kotoko."

-

[milgram-en]

YONAH (S2 Kotoko VD English Translation)

Kotoko: You’re rather late, Es.

Es: Kotoko.

Kotoko: What? You look scared.

Es: What have you done? You-

Kotoko: Ahh, that’s right. I apologize for being unable to inflict satisfactory punishment upon Mikoto Kayano and Amane Momose.

Es: Uh- You… [impl.: Es percieves Kotoko as someone close]

Kotoko: I hunted them one-by-one, but I was unable to execute them due to continuous interference from Kazui Mukuhara, who was guarding Mikoto Kayano and Fuuta Kajiyama, and sustaining damage of my own. By the time I charged Mahiru Shiina, Amane Momose was out of time.

Es: Were you trying to pave off Amane too?

Kotoko: That’s right. Since you hadn’t permitted me to do so, I didn’t. But it’s only natural, you know? 

Es: They’re a child.

Kotoko: So what? That kid [impl.: derogatory tone] killed someone, that's why she's here.

Es: I see.

Kotoko: I figured I was unable to go forward with it on the grounds that she was a child. I apologize I let you down. It is simply my deficiency of ability. 

Es: …

Kotoko: I was unable to neutralize Kazui Mukuhara. Do you happen to know how one could… make things a bit smoother—

Es: Kotoko! Do you hear yourself?! You’re mistaken.

Kotoko: How so? I was under the impression that I’m supporting you as your foundation.

Es: Who told you to go that far? I had no intention of allowing you to do that when I forgave you. 

Kotoko: We do what the other can’t do. That’s what a partnership is all about, isn’t it? I only cover for what you can’t bring yourself to do.

Es: What’s so powerful about prisoners hurting each other? 

Kotoko: MILGRAM’s design in itself has made that assumption, I’m sure. There’s no prohibition against prisoners attacking one another. Well, at least your superior assumes this situation. 

Es: Even if that were the case, your actions were unnecessary. 

Kotoko: Good Es. A person who commits a sin can’t realize the severity of their crime until they lose something of their own. I’ve observed dozens of criminals and not a single one rights their ways without pain. 

Es: Enough is enough. This is a conflict in direction. I’m finished working with you. 

Kotoko: Why?

Es: I have no desire to resolve sins with more violent atrocities. 

Kotoko: Is it not violence to restrain a person for an extended period of time?

Es: We have determined that it is not.

Kotoko: What is it about prisons condoning this level of psychological abuse but not physical aggression? Double standard, right? 

Es: That’s nonsense. Furthermore, the one who decides the rules of this prison is… It is my freedom to do so. 

Kotoko: I say the rules are nonsense.

Es: You said you would cooperate with me. If that’s what you want to do, then act according to my intentions. 

Kotoko: I said I would be your fang. Did you forget? I’ll do what you can’t bring yourself to do. That’s it. 

Es: I don’t need it.

Kotoko: Why?

Es: Because.

Kotoko: If instead your stranger of a murderer was violently attacked by your stranger of a justice-fueled human being, would you feel as angry as you do now?

Es: Right now we’re talking about MILGRAM. Whatever you’re saying is likely irrelevant.

Kotoko: Come on, just tell me. 

Es: My answer might not measure up to your expectations.

Kotoko: Is that so? When a murderer gets to be on the receiving end, you don’t see that as just karma? 

Es: Maybe there’s a bit of a nice feeling. So what? 

Kotoko: How is that any different from what I did? 

Es: What? Because it’s MILGRAM. Because it happened in my prison. 

Kotoko: That’s not the real reason, is it? It’s none other than the fact you feel an attachment to the prisoners. 

Es: What?

Kotoko: Don’t you remember? You look at the prisoners like they’re your friends. Maybe at times you look at them like they’re family, like they’re something you’re trying to protect. 

Es: …

Kotoko: Ah～ Can you bring yourself to sever that? Are you really a guard? 

Es: Silence. 

Kotoko: The sins of one’s friends are lighter, punishment is less severe the more you get along. If you like what someone’s heart appears to be—the way they act in your company—, the longer you like each other, the lighter their sin will be.

Es: I’m telling you to shut it.

Kotoko: Keeping your mouth shut won’t get you anywhere. What I’m trying to tell you is that with the way you see and think about things, MILGRAM is merely a good-for-nothing interlude of a prison show. 

Es: Shut up! [Es slaps Kotoko]

[heavy breathing] Kotoko: Violence, right? Hurting a beloved prisoner is considered one. 

Es: …

Kotoko: Heh- Ahahahahaha! Something like that is no good for violence. It’s weak. You’re too weak. You‘re not going to stop anyone with that fragile body of yours. You can’t protect anyone. Go ahead, preach your virtues when you can’t even dispense your own “great” justice. You, in all that you are, are disturbingly defective. [t/n: lacking something in every aspect of being; ex. thoughts, conviction, actions, etc.]

Es: Defective…

Kotoko: If you really want to stop people [sin], crush them. Mercilessly. 

Es: I- I…

Kotoko: I get it. Realistically speaking, this is too much for you to handle. That’s why you have no choice but to need me. [impl.: Kotoko is an indispensable person/instrument that Es has to use]

Es: Fangs to break through stone…

[Es sounds indicating discomfort]

Es: My head–

Kotoko: Is your head alright?

Es: I’m… as a fan, I’m not without fault. I’m… just a warden. 

Kotoko: Is everything alright? Are you okay, Es? 

Es: Kotoko.

Kotoko: Rest yourself here. 

Es: No- Stop-

Kotoko: It’s going to be okay.

Es: Get away… Kotoko.

Kotoko: I understand how you feel. I’ve felt the same way even though I’m in a position of being able to bear the responsibility of overseeing alone. You’re too kind.  You can’t stand to be in a prison that’s built by your own choices. Yet, someone has to pick up the slack. You need a partner. I’ll do the dirty work. 

Es: Do I… look kind?

Kotoko: Does your head still hurt? Get some more rest. I’ll take it from here. The two of us, let’s make a proper MILGRAM. 

Es: I see. That’s right… MILGRAM. 

[Bells ringing]

Es: No. Get away from me, Kotoko. Don’t talk to me so casually. 

Kotoko: What？

Es: I’m.. not in the wrong. 

Kotoko: Es?

[Es hits themself]

Kotoko: What are you doing? Did you beat yourself up? Are you crazy?

[Es sighs. footsteps]

Es: No. I just got back to normal. 

Kotoko: Huh？

Es: Kotoko, I won’t do as you say. 

Kotoko: Eh?

Es: I have been confronting the question of crime and punishment in the way I see it. From your perspective, it may feel like I’m mistaken and inconsistent. That I’m incompetent, unable to find my own convictions. That my convictions don’t exist. It’s as though there’s innumerous people inside of me, cohabitating with all sorts of thoughts and feelings towards MILGRAM and towards the prisoners. 

Kotoko: In its current state, I intend to continue shaking up MILGRAM. 

Es: Even so, I’ve been facing my own accountability on everything I’ve caused here for a long time! I’ve been able to by frantically thinking about each and every one of the 10 prisoners, including you! Those feelings… I don’t consider them mistakes. No matter what sorts of hell may arise from here, I will not run away! I’m not going to leave it up to anyone else. For what it’s worth, it’s my responsibility to grasp the hearts and minds of the prisoners. For that reason, I’m reconsidering whether or not I should continue working with you.

[Kotoko lets out a sigh of air.]

Kotoko: Hah- What a waste of time. It’s always the same. It’s always the same with you weaklings… You all enjoy seeing someone suffer. 

Es: Maybe so. 

Kotoko: You take pride in watching sinners burn. 

Es: I don’t deny it. 

Kotoko: You want it to happen, but the moment it does around you because of your own choices, you start plastering the bare minimum niceties to avoid getting your hands dirty [avoid your own fault and responsibility]. All the time… Always! You’re all fools. 

Es: I admit it. You are the competition. We’re the weak. Maybe that’s how it is, but that’s who we are as of now.

Kotoko: You have no conviction to strive, you make no effort to attain power, and yet you keep talking about righteousness without a shred of consistency. You’re stuck an endless cycle, all because you’re in a position to talk, self-aggrandizing your own abject edicts as if it makes your irresponsibility justice itself. You’re so enraptured in people’s misery, but you can’t even face the truth of your own nature even if it stared you in the eyes.

Es: Whatever you say.

Kotoko: Don’t preach about your righteousness, pretending that you hate evil. Act on it. Trust that your actions will change the world. The world will continue to rot no matter how many people just sit back and watch from afar. If you don’t have the power, don’t tell me who has the authority, Es! I will personally see to it that MILGRAM’s policies are enforced without exception.

Es: You may indeed embody one of MILGRAM’s ideals. I may indeed get attached to my prisoners. I may indeed be an imperfect warden. Regardless.

Kotoko: If you understand that, you can’t seriously stop now!

Es: Still, this is where I stand. This is also my battle. Their current suffering is mine’s as well. Your strength is powerful, you could accomplish many things with it. But MILGRAM is mine. Even if I were to cooperate with you in the future, you will never rise above what you are. I am the king, you are a tool. 

Kotoko: Only if you have that kind of worth. 

Es: Prisoner Number 10, Kotoko. Sing of your sins. 

[amane-order-of-attack]

Alternate Day 23

In which Kotoko becomes a cartoon villain.

(If it was truer to her character, she would skip the chatter and attack immediately.)

(cw: hostage situation)

----

Mahiru has cordially invited the unforgiven prisoners to hang out in her cell during free time. Whether the guys accept is up in the air, but Amane is more than happy to take the chance to catch up with her. Moments of peace are fleeting, after all.

But isn’t she forgetting something?

Well, if the memories won’t show her anything, it probably wasn’t important.

As she’s on her way to Mahiru’s cell, something grabs the back of her collar.

Someone.

Yuzuriha Kotoko.

“Ah, Momose Amane, fancy seeing you here. I take it you’re on your way to Ma-”

Amane begins to scream, but Kotoko immediately covers her mouth.

“So difficult… I’ll just have to get to the point, then.”

Kotoko picks up Amane and carries her the rest of the way, ignoring all her clawing and kicking. She sets her down to knock on the door. In short order, Mahiru answers.

“Oh, Kotoko-chan, I didn’t-” Her eyes widen as she shifts her gaze from assailant to victim.

“Don’t try anything,” Kotoko hisses, bringing her free hand to Amane’s throat, “or she gets it.”

Mahiru doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she nods and takes a step back. That gives the guests a better view of the room, and they see that Fuuta is also there.

“Tell that boisterous ginger freak not to do anything funny either. For both of your sakes.”

Again, Mahiru nods before walking over to Fuuta. He sees what’s happening in the doorway and almost goes into a rage before Mahiru frantically warns him to calm down.

Kotoko steps inside and lets the door close behind her. “I’m glad you all decided to keep quiet. Now I’ll need your cooperation for just a bit longer. No screaming, or I’ll crush her throat.” She puts a bit of pressure on Amane’s neck, drawing out a whimper. “And don’t think of charging at me because I can take all of you on at once.”

Fuuta clenches his fists, while Mahiru looks around uncomfortably.

“Now Amane, I would like your assistance. Who should I start with?” Kotoko lifts her hand off her face.

Amane gasps for air and looks back and forth between her friends. There’s only one real answer.

“Me.”

“Oh? So selfless. Are you so sure about that?”

“Yes. Now go ahead and-”

“No!” Mahiru calls out. “Take me first! Just let her go!”

Fuuta interrupts. “No way! Hit me first, you coward.”

Amane tries to wave them off, but Kotoko picks her up again, disorienting her.

“What a self-sacrificial bunch. Well, I did warn you that I can take you all on.”

With that, Kotoko charges at the two, swinging Amane at them.

[purgemarchlockdown]

CALLING ALL MUTUALS....KILL!!!!! Okay but Amane Prop, so Amane Momose! She's part of Milgram, a arg-adjacent series based around ten murderers who are being tried for various murder crimes. We have three trials to vote them either Forgiven/Innocent or Unforgiven/Guilty and what we do helps determines what happens next.

Amane Momose is 12 years old and is long suffering for it. She's the most upfront about doing murder and thinking that it was good actually. Justifying it as something that follows the doctrines of her cult...Cause she's from a cult.

Her VD is full of her being kinda "annoying" to people (or at least the people in youtube comment sections think she is but also she's doing it on Purpose so-) but she makes multiple very good points about how just because she's young doesn't mean she has no personhood or thoughts or ideas of her own. She doesn't like being treated "like a child" (ie: Being treated without respect) since that's what she's associated with being treated like a child for all her life. We continue on, Magic is a lovely MV about her *looks at notes* horrific child abuse. Magic is a semi-fictionalized retelling of the abuse she suffered.

That's what it is. It has lines like these.

But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can actually think of it as a good thing, see isn’t it a great thing?

And this:

I won’t say “I’ve had enough” Will you laugh with me and forgive me? I promise! I can only become a better girl!

And has scenes of Cartoonish Violence happening to Amane except it's not really that funny because we know in real life she did actually get horribly abused.

In that video a cat gets hurt by a stagelight and gets healed by Amane using medicine instead of prayer, which she gets horribly punished for. This escalates into a sequence where she gains power from God and uses it to enact his "will" in a very cute sequence and oh dear the cat is gone from this point on oh dear that cat is dead-

Okay, so, at this point we think the Cat is a metaphor for someone (It's not but I won't fault people, I also thought that.) and she killed that someone. However, we've seen what happened before this point, she was horrifically tortured...multiple times...presumably for longer than this actually- the horrors are so very real here.

So it's voting time! With all this evidence lets see what people vote her as:

*checks notes* GUILTY! Okay- Not as a bad as it sounds...they voted her guilty mainly cause people thought the tough love approach was the better option and that if we just voted her guilty she would understand what she did was Wrong.

Okay maybe it's worse than it sounds-

Eitherway. Trial 2 and oh dear she's horribly disheveled, sad, beaten up and she almost got beaten up by one of the other prisoners! We love to see it!

Amane acts...noticeably different, while Amane always acted somewhat "mature" she seems almost distant and alien now. With a character even commentating that we awoke something much bigger (Monster Symbolism Win.)

During her VD this is the same, she describes herself as "Both Amane Momose and Not" as she is representing her faith and uses "We" to show that. Amane is...noticeably shaken after being mentally and physically (she got restrained more) tortured...something that she has experienced before due to her abuse.

She also repeatedly threatens the only Docotr, saying he is an evil presence and threatens to take matters into her own hands. This is a threat in its own right, fair enough to be worried about this!

We'll get back to that later but for now, Purge March! It's a very cheery MV about Amane's Abusive Household, An Actual Cat that is also symbolically her because of cat symbolism I can't get into, who died because after Amane helped it she got horrifically punished and her mother (presumably) killed the cat, and her decision to Kill Her Mother for breaking one of the Cult's Doctrines and also for herself because:

You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please, go ahead and die already Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?

I Love her Dearly For This. She is so Right <3

Anyway, so, after the attempt of teaching her the right way to do things through voting her guilty went...bad. What did people do? We *looks at notes* Almost voted her guilty again

Which...okay. That's a lot. The reasoning this time is a bit split, the Doctor comes in here and again, understandable concern. But...the treatment of her from a lot of people is "Violence murder child who couldn't conceive of thoughts outside her cult who needed to be restrained and punished for the good of everyone."

She got inno in the end but even now she's still divisive cause of this and...people still sometimes treat her like she's murder 24/7....

In other words:

(Just replace Amane's Parents with Voters) (Also Art Made by Me)

[purgemarchlockdown]

I told myself not to interact too much with the voting discussion because of how much it bothers me, but due to how her votes are going I will talk about it. I know the idea is that to protect the other prisoners we need her to be voted guilty. That's the theory, I'd argue that not only would that not work out the way people expect it to and I'd also argue that voting innocent is the better option overall.

But let's talk a bit about a dichotomy first.

Something I've noticed in fandom when it comes to victims of abuse and trauma is that there's a want for easily digestible abuse victims. There's a want for victims of abuse that are easily infantilized and woobified. In other words, there's a want for a very sanitized depiction of abuse. One where the characters who are being abused did nothing wrong and are morally pure completely righteous characters.

On the flipside, once an abuse victim steps out of those bounds of sanitized digestibility the audience reactions shifts. You tend to find these characters demonized and portrayed in ways that showcase how horrible, toxic or...dangerous they are. If you are an abuse victim in fiction you have to be an incredibly idealized version of the perfect abuse victim who does nothing wrong because if you aren't people will find ways to demonize you and erase any sense of nuance from the story.

You can either be a good abuse victim, or a bad one.

Now of course not everyone voting Amane guilty is doing it because of this...like I've seen a lot of posts from people who just don't know what to do or people who just feel that the consequences of Guilty Vote Amane is worth it in the end or people who just vote her guilty cause they don't like her much. I'm biased in this regard because I love Amane Momose! I'm very much biased towards her.

However it is troubling to me that I see this sort of bias, a lot of people have talked about how this also happens with Mikoto and I'd argue there was a bit of this also involved in Haruka and his voting.

It's something In this fandom and it's something that troubles me personally because I care a lot about this stuff, stories like Amane's are important to me, and I don't like seeing people react like this to abuse victims in fiction just because they aren't palatable.

I doubt most people in real life would act the same way if Amane was real, but also I'm unfortunately very familiar with people ignore someone who is suffering just because they feel uncomfortable. So I do think it's important to mention.

And I think Amane doomed by Milgram! I think Milgram is exactly the kind of place that would trigger her trauma! But even so I don't think Amane is doomed completely. I think viewing her as someone who can never change, who's stuck forever as a devoted cult follower is frankly a disservice to her character.

The power of cults come a lot of factors, manipulation, isolation, perpetuation of abuse and abusive cycles and way more things that I can't even mention. It Does Not come from magic unbreakable brainwashing! We have accounts from former cult victims! They exist! You can google them! There are people with stories like this out there!

I'd argue that Milgram's guilty system emulates Amane's previous abusive situation. It emulates that system of rules and punishment and torture. I don't think voting guilty would help, because voting guilty means Amane has to deal with something that closely emulates her horrible abusive situation, it would drive her further into isolation and trauma. She'd be reliving the situation she just escaped.

"But the other prisoners are at risk-" They're still at risk even if Amane is voted guilty! I'd argue their more at risk because Amane would be driven further into her isolation! Cults tell people that the outside world is dangerous and out to get them! It's one of there methods of control!

If we prove that to Amane, if we prove that yes, the outside world is out to get her and there's no one out there that can actually help her, then we give her The most righteous reason to attack.

Amane from what I can tell usually attacks if she feels like she's justified, if she feels like she's in danger. It's a defense mechanism born out of the torture she experienced. It's not wild swinging at anyone and anything she hates as it seems like people think it is.

I think voting Amane Innocent actually has the better chance of really helping people out. I think Amane being innocent would help crack this image she has of the outside world which would be fantastic actually! Would she be fully deprogrammed? No, you can't deprogram someone with one choice, especially if you validated their beliefs beforehand but it certainly changes things.

I don't like the idea that Amane is completely hopeless, I Feel like it treats cults and the Real Harm they do to people as something that no one can come back from and makes it feel weirdly mystical. Like the cult gets their hands in ya and now their brainwashing is just unbreakable. There's Real Ex-Cult Survivors in the world! They Exist! They aren't an impossibility and I don't think we should treat Amane's growth as a person as an impossibility!

[purgemarchlockdown]

So something I Noticed after replaying Purge March over and over again and someting I'm probably going to put in a bigger post is that Amane Still downplays how badly she's hurt here.

It's interesting since this is a song where Amane gets angry and bitter about how hurt she is but even her we can see her downplay her own pain.

Here's Amane Momose outside of her head at the end of Purge March, we can see a lot of things here already, the giant bruise on the side of her head, the eyebags under her eyes.

There's even two lines going down her face, it looks like she just finished crying.

Here's Amane Momose in her mind right after this scene:

The eye-bags are smaller here and the lines are gone from her face! The bruise is also gone! You could argue it's hidden by the hat and the shadow which still makes my point actually, but if we go to shots where we would be able to see it anyway...

It's just not there! I checked the other Amane's and while the other Amane's Have the eye-bags as seen here they also don't have the bruise.

Amane's mind version of herself Does Not depict her with her bruise and the eyebags here are smaller.

When we transition back to real world Amane for a bit the eyelines are back!

We can't see the bruise though because of the angle we're look at though.

The last shot of Amane also has these downplayed qualities, the bruise is hidden due to the angle but the eyebags are also smaller here! Even now, in the song where Amane is singing about how badly she's in pain and how much she wants to get back at the people who hurt her, visually she's still downplaying how hurt she got.

Which fits perfectly with Magic since Magic had her do the exact same thing, just in a more obvious way.

I find this really interesting! Especially since we do know Amane still believes in her cult's ideals even if hurts her! It's not surprising to me that even now Amane isn't being totally honest with herself how badly she's been hurt, it makes a lot of sense with what we know about her.

[oboetemasuka]

Order of Attack (part 4)

The second trial begins!

Warning: Jackalope is very callous about the prisoners' lives. Other than that, there's are descriptions of violence, injuries, and Amane's cult mindset.

Once again, I'm posting this ahead of the AO3 version, and I'll look over it again before I post there.

(Anything in the ellipses is pretty much the same as the original.)

Second trial commencement notice

Rise and shine, Es. So much within Milgram has changed since your little slumber. Allow me to enlighten you on what you missed around here. …

Prisoner No. 2: Yuno Kashiki

… With this verdict of “innocent”, she has tried to isolate herself. However, as cold as she may be, she checks on the “guilty” prisoners from time to time. Something about them must really strike a chord in her.

One fateful day, a certain Mahiru Shiina sought her out. And so, while the rest of the “innocent” prisoners were going around doing who-knows-what, Yuno was close enough to witness the attacks and call for help, keeping Mahiru away from harm while she was at it. She’s a hero. She’s not the most fond of the title and would rather stay away, but she’s not going to turn her back on a friend in need.

Frosty girls with a soft spot. I like- hey, don’t give me that glare.

Prisoner No. 3: Fuuta Kajiyama

Because he was found “guilty”, he’s lost that fire in his blood. Trapped in the never-ending darkness of his own guilt and regret, he wonders if he even deserves to live. A certain Amane Momose has been visiting him frequently, trying to help him out of this slump.

Huh, you’re surprised about how he looks? Oh, because you found Prisoner No. 10 Kotoko “innocent”, she went and attacked the guilty prisoners. Now Fuuta is broken in both body and mind. Fortunately, Shidou treated what he could, or else Fuuta would be dead. Lost.

But see if I care. It’s not like you showed him any mercy either.

Ever since the attacks, he’s gotten closer with Amane. That was bound to happen since she was the first witness. Let him lean on that kid, won’t you? What’s the worst that could happen?

...

Prisoner No. 5: Shidou Kirisaki

… He’s the one who treated Fuuta and Amane after the attacks. If not for him, they would both be dead. But they don’t seem to be particularly grateful. Their loss.

Prisoner No. 6: Mahiru Shiina

Because she was found “guilty”, she lives in a painful state of shattered norms. Looks like she’s going to have to rethink her definition of love a lot now, romantic or otherwise.

Thanks to some miraculous factors in play, she was able to avoid being attacked. But now she’s wracked with an intense survivor’s guilt. No matter how you slice it, she should’ve been attacked before Amane. Even so, she’s constantly looking over her shoulder, wondering if Kotoko will finish the job. Trapped between two turbulent states of mind. Is this what she deserves? Well, that’s for you to decide.

Prisoner No. 7: Kazui Mukuhara

… Regrettably, he arrived to late to save Fuuta and Amane from serious injuries, but he put an end to Kotoko’s attacks. Better late than never, am I right? Who knows how much more damage she could have caused if not for him?

Prisoner No. 8: Amane Momose

Because she was found “guilty”… no no, she hasn’t learned a thing, at least not in the way you intended. Especially after Kotoko’s attacks, Amane has only leaned into her faith more intensely. She’s gotten closer with Fuuta over their shared injuries. Also, she’s completely hostile to Shidou, going so far as to reject or sabotage his care at every opportunity. Something about his actions must really tick her off. That’s incredibly self-destructive of her. She knows she needs that treatment to survive, right? Well, it’s up to you to endorse her actions or not… whatever that means for you.

Prisoner No. 9: Mikoto Kayano

… He got into a real dogfight with Kotoko. In the midst of her attacks, no less. Who knows what he was up to, but you can’t deny that it was well-timed. If he wasn’t around, Amane would have sustained fatal injuries; even Shidou wouldn’t have been able to save her then.

Prisoner No. 10: Kotoko Yuzuriha

… Kotoko attacked three.

Prisoner No. 3: Fuuta Kajiyama. He’s severely injured. Bedridden. He would be dead if not for Shidou.

Prisnoer No. 8: Amane Momose. She has fewer injuries in comparison, but she would’ve been beyond saving if she sustained any more.

And lastly, Prisoner No. 9: Mikoto Kayano. They were evenly matched, and their fight was broken up by Kazui. Thanks to Mikoto’s spectacular timing, Amane was saved from further injury.

A strange order of attack, isn’t it? Well, that’s interpersonal dynamics in this prison for you.

…

And that’s all that happened within the prison thus far. It would do you well to keep in mind how the prisoners interact with each other when you make your judgments this time around. I’m counting on you, Es.

Let the second trial of Milgram begin.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Doing more trans autistic Amane Momose posting because im not doing that well at the moment and this headcanon makes me happy

- I tend to distingiush my Agender Amane thoughts and my Transfem Amane thoughts for many reasons but also cause one reacts to the knowledge that they can never be a good girl with utter relief since it cant be it’s fault that it’s like this now, is it? And the other reacts with the deepest fear and resignation because she can never be what she really wants to be can she?

-I think Amane used to talk a lot when she was Much Much Younger but then stopped cause it always led her to get hurt.

- Transfem Amane is very careful about passing in the prison and gets very happy when people in the prison call her a girl. It means shes getting a good grade in gender :)

-Both Amane’s see Es and their non-binary failswag and feel a bit relieved (but they arent sure why)

-Religion hyperfixation real, this is for me, I was a kid with a religion hyperfixation. Glad to have this rep-

-Agender Amane: Since I am repersenting my faith I should not be reffered to as a human, please refer to me as an “it.”

Amane, internally: (Finally, a good excuse to get people to call me that…)

-Amane really really Really likes her Japanese class, and Will Tell you about grammer structure if you let her…and also unlock her social link because she’s been bitten before and won’t be bitten again.

-She also likes performing and art a lot and tends to daydream and think about how places would look if she drew them and sometimes acts out characters when shes alone but she hasnt done any art in a while…

-She likes all animals but Im not sure if she would read much about them scentifically, I think sometimes it feels like they understand her more than any person ever could.

-(this applies to all my Amanes) I think Amane feels too cramped in her own skin. It just feels uncomfortable in it.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Hello, I really love reading your analyzes of Amane 💓 and I would be very interested to know your opinion about one very interesting moment in Magic.  Why do you think not all but the key moments in the video look like a paper cartoon?  Moments at the beginning and end where Amane is on the clouds with everyone else;  the moment where she treats the cat;  her punishments and subsequent transformation.  this seems important but I just can't figure it out yet

Oh thanks for the ask! I have an idea for Why their like that but I'm not super sure.

So those parts are depicted like children's storybooks. For a while I've been trying to figure out What Specifically they reminded me of (as the texture used for those scenes seemed felt-like) but then I remembered that when I was younger I had this felt storybook that looked actually pretty similar.

Uh I don't remember what it was called but google gives me this image that looks vaguely like it.

The felt thing might just be me though as this does also look like a papercut illustration...

What this does is lend an additional layer of separation between the real events.

and fiction.

A lot of people didn't realize Amane was Actually Electrocuted for a while and I think that was on purpose. The sheer trauma and Horribleness of the situation being depicted as something unreal and imaginary, abstracted and cartoonified.

This is not the first time Magic does this In The MV see:

This cat which is both The Cat and Amane Momose.

Or the whole premise of the MV, where it's events are portrayed as a TV Show that Amane is Watching.

Now that explains the later scenes but then we still have the first few scenes to question and to be honest I'm not super sure.

However, Milgram also uses texture/filter to highlight when there is something inaccurate/distorted that the Prisoner Themselves knows is inaccurate/distorted.

We have...a lot of reason to believe Amane is not nearly as good of a girl as she says she is. And if were going off the idea that filters are used to hint at a prisoner's own awareness of an inaccurate depiction of reality then it would make a ton of sense that these shots are done in this style.

With the first half being comfortably placed in the idea that Amane Momose is a very good girl (who just needs to learn sometimes!) and the second half trying it's hardest to distance itself from the Horrible Horrible things that happen during it.

We know Amane is Aware to some extent of the hopelessness of the whole game.

After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry”

And we know that she isn't fully willing to accept the Bad Stuff that Has Happened to Her.

(...Ive used this Same Diagram three different times but in my defense it works)

Even though we know she is Aware to some extent that it was Bad Stuff.

Amane: Okay! I’m kind, so I shall forgive you. That’s nice, isn’t it? If my parents were in my place, you would have been lectured for another hour.

(I bring up this line so much but in my defense again I love Amane subtly calling her parents mean...I hope she straight up calls them mean and horrible one day)

So it would fit Pretty Well into this pattern Milgram established.

Plus...that first scene also just works Really Well as a children's show opening.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Admittedly when it comes to translations I use them interchangeably and expect people get what I mean lol...I'm a digimon fan so this sort of translation nonsense is very familiar to me so I've kinda fallen into that bad habit lol.

Dw about the Kazui Infodump! Admittedly Amane occupies so much of my brainspace that information about other character's slips my mind real easily. And I did do an Amane Infodump so really it's just a fair trade.

I see what you mean by that, and honestly both are probably true to some extent. Like...yeah it's hard to rest easy when you still got 2 more trials to prove your innocent under the threat of horrific punishment, but Kazui is also wanting to be understood.

And now he's found out that his walls are built so high and so thick that even the magic mind brain extraction music video can't even give us a clear picture of what's going on. It makes sense he'd feel this way, both ways really.

Cat portrays Kazui so much more negatively (see it's advertisment-like feel and how Kazui seems more threatening compared to Half's stage performance) and also gives so little away, everything is Literally Framed in Cat except for Two Shots and those two shots don't really give us Much to work on.

It really feels like Kazui's walls are built Even Higher somehow in Cat, or maybe I'm just thinking too much about Cat again...

I'm a Big Amane Momose Enjoyer. I've basically been thinking about her for multiple months straight, my autism really did say this child was The One fr. I have written Too Much About Her, but I get where your coming from. She deals with very sensitive topics, though I will say I think it's worth interacting with her anyway. She's so emotionally resonant to me though so heh...

I could talk forever about how Shidou fucked up big time with Amane lol. It goes into some thoughts i have about 050608 family parallels but the basic jist is that the way Shidou unintentionally reminds Amane of her abuse. It's not on purpose, I doubt he's even aware of it (not that it makes it any better.)

Amane states very clearly in the T1 VD that she doesn't like being talked down too.

Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time?

Now this ties into a discussion about how age was probably used to justify her abuse-

However, this reaction to being treated as a child probably also comes from how her own feelings, actions and thoughts were disregarded by her parents.

After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry”

Having other people do the same to her must be uncomfortable and upsetting.

This makes Shidou's treatment of her...well...

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself?

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

Shidou- Shidou what the fuck are you doing?

Admittedly it's a hard situation to navigate but like- that was one of the Worst Things he could have said.

Ultimately it just pushes Amane further into isolation. It makes her feel like he isn't willing to understand her, it makes her feel small and threatened, it makes her feel Looked Down Upon.

But, once again, Amane has been given a righteous excuse to hurt someone that Hurts Her. Shidou is violating Cult Rules. She's allowed to hurt him back now.

I could infodump about Amane forever but I wanna talk 0304 Super Quick-

So again I'm trying not to make this too long (and I still need to get my thoughts in order) but 0304 is super interesting to me since it seems like their T2 MVs are made to reference the others T1 MV.

There's multiple things, lyrically there's a bunch of similarities between the T1-T2 MVs.

Backdraft:

Moribound, that’s all from me, reporting from the ground

After Pain:

The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note

Backdraft:

With just one mistake and I’m out of chances Bless me, please, with one more chance

After Pain:

Why won’t you stop hurt-hurt-hurting me? My heart is all dried up My sorry spells must be wearing off

We got some fun visual parallels with how Muu was drowning in honey/Fuuta was controlling the fire in T1 and how Muu was controlling the honey/Fuuta was being consumed by the fire in T2

(Uh tumblr won't let me upload images- this visual parallel exists I swear!)

Both It's Not My Fault and Bring It On have a general theme of "I'm right and just" Bring it On Has It's not my fault in it's lyrics-

Ultimately it seems like Muu and Fuuta's progressions as characters seem to be mirrored. Muu starts off meek and scared and then becomes more confident in how she's right in T2 and Fuuta starts out pretty confident that he's in the right and then slowly becomes more scared and remorseful.

Again that isn't to say those traits Didn't Exist before T2! Muu is subtly a bit of an ass and believed it wasn't her fault in T1 and Fuuta was already remoseful in T1! But they become more prominent when T2 happened.

Fuuta and Muu seem to have a common theme of what is "right" and the guilt that comes with doing something wrong and how to handle it. There both super insistent in their own righteousness but were they really justified? And when they aren't how do you take responsibility for your actions? Do you even want to accept it? Fuuta and Muu are Super Interesting I'm really fond of them as a duo.

I- god- I need to talk about how Milgram as a system makes you assign who the "worst" is out of the cast. Which one doesn't seem guilty for the actions? Which one didn't have a good enough reason? Which one is most dangerous? Which one is the scariest? Which one is the most Deserving of punishment? Which one Deserves Support the Least?

When Milgram asks who deserves to be forgiven and who shouldn't be this is what they mean. This is why Jackalope insists that you can vote for any reason. This system is Built to find the "Worst One" and Punish Them.

ES SAYS THIS IN AMANE'S T1 VOICE DRAMA:

Es: Don’t make me laugh. I’m not your teacher at school; it isn’t my goal to teach you things or guide you on the right path. Milgram’s goal isn’t to turn you back into decent human beings and get you back into normal society. What is needed here is firm, honest judgment and decisions.

Es: Milgram's goal is not to help people, but to judge them "firmly" and "honestly."

It is NOT a coincidence that they are saying this in Amane's T1 VD. Y'know, the same character whose cult punishes them unjustly and unfairly under arbitrary and often unreachable standards.

And look- I get that they committed murder. That is indeed a crime, that is indeed a horrible thing to do.

However, there is an Underlying Theme here that is being explored! If this work was just about what was murder and who actually committed murder this series would be over by Trial 1 and characters like Mikoto, Amane, Haruka, would be guilty and also Dead.

Milgram is actively making us engage with this System of Punishment and find out that No, it actually isn't that easy to prevent the evil from hurting the weak. That people get hurt in this pursuit of justice. That this black and white system of punishment Does Not Actually Help Anyone!

And this is such a cool and interesting part of Milgram that I wish people we're more willing to engage with! I wish we, as an audience, we're more willing to accept that Our Judgement Hurts People. That this is a part of the experience of engaging with the musical murderer series that asks the audience if their willing to forgive or not.

(And I also wish the risk of people attacking me for this is a lot lower but ah well.)