#and now its back again at 23
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golden-astrum · 1 year ago
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hope u guys r ready to see more bleach art from me bc that is all ive been drawing recently LMAOOOOOOOOOO
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sleepyseals · 1 year ago
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[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]
something you'll run back in for when the house burns down
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acourtofquestions · 3 months ago
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. — he won’t leave without Aelin… and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done today… Rowan didn’t have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoA😭#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. — Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#— maybe that means there’s some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves — even back then😭#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEART😭 and the the darkness back to the light — IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back then😭 and all those centuries before when he didn’t know why😭😭😭
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faunandfloraas · 9 months ago
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hey sorry for the stupid question but what is the weather like in australia? I used to think it was really hot there most of the year but when chanlix or skz are filming in australia it's not that sunny and it's it doesn't look like it's really hot either lol
Climate change gets the best of us </3 skz has only ever visited Melbourne and Sydney, these are both south eastern states so unlike say Western Australia or the Northern Territory or even Queensland, we aren't as hot as they are- contrary to the image of Australia that tends to exist I.e literal desert in the outback, we get winter and we get rain, it's autumn right now and today's forecasted temp is 27°c so... that's not exactly cold, but it's not always hot? It's all over the place lol
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 month ago
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Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though
#so when i was 18 i was supposed to go to college!#i was. i was accepted and everything. i had plans#i was going to go for sign language interpreting. i had hella scholarships#and then. they went bankrupt. spring break before i was supposed to attend#it was unfortunate. i didnt have time to try to attend another college. and asl interpreting isnt a common course#so i moved out of my parents house a few weeks after graduation and just started working#it was great. until i moved to philadelphia#where i lost all of my money and tanked my credit score by being poor#so now im back with my parents#what a horrible cyclical turn of events#and for the longest time ive been trying to get out again. move out. get back to work#i have a job now but it barely pays uh. anything#and i was fighting so hard to escape that i didnt stop to think that i dont have the means to and i would just end up not great again#so i decided to apply for a front desk and marketing position at the same place my older sibling works#an art center. a place that i really fucking love tbh#and a nearby community college has free college for people that were essential workers during the pandemic#i think i would have to live in this state for a year tho so maybe not college right now#but maybe someday. if i get this marketing/front desk position then im sure ill stick around for a bit#idk im having weird conflicting feelings about trying to put down roots here#but i cant leave anytime soon. thats kind of hitting me#i dont have money. or a good credit score. i will not be accepted to an apartment#and even if i am i will not be able to pay rent#so i might as well get a job i like. not just a placeholder#see about going to college. especially if its free#and instead of like. waiting for my life to start. maybe do something with it while i have it#if that makes sense#suicide tw ahead-#i didnt think i was going to make it past age 18. and now im nearly 23#so im living every day with no plans#every day is a lovely little gift that i never expected to have so now its a task to try and figure out what to do with it
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feeling-kinda-sad-ngl · 7 months ago
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just sent an email asking to cancel my application for school next semester because i got an email notifying me that im no longer eligible for the financial aid i was eligible for when i applied lol
pretty bummed. telling myself it works out because im having surgery in the fall too so i'd have to request time off from school anyway.
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mydr3aminvi0let · 8 months ago
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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gnc-tits · 1 month ago
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ugh im seasonal affective disordering and then im regular degular disordering and then im like coming to terms with things that i thought were truths abt me but were actually truths about a past me and GET THIS not even the past me from The Past the past just like past me from pre moving out of my parents house like justtttt before and im like accepting the versions of me that i killed when i made that decision but now the problem is ive been living my life under the impression that those versions of me were congruent with the me that exists now so ive made decisions presuming im the me that would have existed had everything 18 yr old me wanted came to fruition and what freaking not. but like that didnt happen. sooooooo
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primelinchen-the-second · 3 months ago
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TIL that our living room heater isnt (as) broken. The smart thermostats my boyfriend insisted on installing because they're soooo much easier and more convenient just cant connect to the internet so it never received the signal to heat up. And it cant be manually set because it will try to confirm every couple of minutes and without connection just. Turn off.
But hey. It isnt like this is the room i soend most of my time in and have set up my art corner in or anything
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dollfat · 8 months ago
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giving into the [outlander] peer pressure and deciding opal moved to the city after leaving the wilderness. probably around age 13.
her and her mom took whatever shitty jobs they could, usually physically demanding and not always legal. neither were especially good at socializing and opal was overwhelmed by all the people and noise. she still thinks of the Outlands as her home.
#at the start of the story shes probably like 23?#i kinda think her mom just left one day#after she was an adult ofc#im picturing someone like jahiera whos pragmatic and cynical#she didnt plan on having a kid and was more focused on making sure her child could survive than talk about feelings#never mentioned opals father#relationship wise opal is bi#most men are intimidated by her size so she has more experience with girls#some casual hookups with coworkers/neighbors#she likes making her partners happy but usually ends up feeling used#its kinda cliche for a big strong character to want to be romanced but#once again opal is the character i think the most about who isnt just defined by the game#i think i gotta keep her and play with her in something else#her main familiar is the dire raven since its the least likely to get stuck on architecture#but i think wolf fits her personality better#this backstory is to justify her rejecting lae'zel and astarian#unromantic and insincere#dove plays bg3#she just started act which means rip to the lightning charge outfit#it was so well coordinated. tons of enemies got shocked#but she also got heavy armor proficiency so it would be a waste#she actually looks really good in the armor from the locked box above dammon#mintharas gonna be great old one warlock#tryna remember if she went back for the owlbear egg and armor#it would be easier to go back now before recruiting minth#i should specify her partners werent abusive the sex was just disappointing bc of the different expectations#and opal wasnt really able to analyze her feelings like that#so she just kinda lost interest
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skzdust · 12 days ago
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Can I Touch?
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SMUT. MINORS DNI.
Merry Christmas, everyone. This is my smutty present to all of you and to Bee especially lol.
This fic was a request from @kpop---scenarios (here) and a part of my 500 followers celebration!! Big thanks for requesting bestie and I hope you love it <3 The prompt was #23, caught in the act, with Lee Know, NSFW!
Summary: Minho is horny at a party, and now it's your problem... and, when you sneak into Hyunjin's room, it becomes his problem, too.
Pairing: Lee Know x Hyunjin x fem!reader
Includes: fucking at a party, an unexpected visitor, nipple play, unprotected sex, kissing
Word count: 1.3k
Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife,
@hyunjinsjeans, @somethingkindazainy, @silverstarburst, @atzlordz, @jeonginsleftcheek
Network:@mirohs-aurora-society
Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!
Masterlist
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Minho leaned in by your ear. “C’mon, baby, just come with me for a second?”
You laughed softly. “Everyone’s here, Minho, they’ll notice if we’re gone.”
“No, they won’t.” His breath tickled your ear. “No one will know. It’ll just be you and me.”
You swallowed. You couldn’t deny that it sounded appealing. Minho had spent the whole evening working you up— his hands grazing your thigh, or lingering a bit too long on your waist. His eyes roaming your chest, your whole body. You wanted him, and it was clear he wanted you. “Minho… I don’t know.”
“But I need you, baby.” He murmured. “Need you bad.”
You sucked a breath in through your teeth. “You need me so bad you can’t wait till we get home?”
“Exactly.” He nipped at your earlobe, and you were glad the girl you’d been talking to had wandered off a minute ago, leaving no one to pay attention to Minho’s blatant attempts to turn you on.
“Okay.” You whispered. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this, but… yes.”
“Sounds good.” He pressed a kiss to your neck. “Let’s go find a bedroom.”
Your stomach leapt as Minho led you by the hand up the stairs. “Min, are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Yeah… I know which one is Hyunjin’s. He won’t care.”
You laughed. “You mean he won’t care if we fuck on his bed?”
“Exactly.” Minho smiled, pushing open a door. “Come on in.”
You followed him into the room, and he shut the door before pressing you against it and all but growling in your ear. “Baby… you look so good in that little fucking dress. Trying to tease me all night.”
“I wasn’t trying to tease you.” You said, but you were breathless already as Minho’s hand found its way up your skirt to play with your underwear.
“Sure.” He ran his fingers over your pussy, prompting a whine. You were so sensitive to his touch, especially when you were already horny.
“Okay, so, maybe a little bit.” You admitted.
“Just what I thought, baby.” He kissed you, long, searing on your lips. You could barely breathe as he invaded your mouth, his tongue pressing against yours. His hand was still playing with you, and you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth.
“Oh, you like that?” He rubbed at your pussy harder through your underwear, the fabric rough against you.
“Yes, Minho.” You exhaled.
“Get on the bed.”
You wiggled your underwear off, throwing them somewhere on the floor, and landed on your back on the bed.
Minho crawled on top of you, and as you looked down you could see the bulge in his pants. “You want it, baby? You want it inside you?”
“Yes.” You whimpered. “Want it deep inside me, Minho. We gotta be fast.”
He laughed as he leaned down to kiss you again, hard, demanding. He broke away and sat back to pull off his pants and boxers.
He was already hard, but he stroked himself a few times as he lined himself up with your hole. “Just know you’re gonna be so good around me.”
You just whined, angling your hips up.
Minho rubbed his tip around a little bit, getting it wet with your slick, and began to push inside. He was about halfway in when the door hinges squeaked.
You both froze, whipping towards the door.
Hyunjin stood there, his eyebrows raised. “Well, I didn’t expect you guys to be in here.”
Minho began to pull out.
“No, no, don’t stop.” Hyunjin closed the door, leaning against it, watching the two of you. “Go on. If you’re borrowing my room, you at least should give me a show.”
You nodded, looking at Minho. “We should, shouldn’t we?”
He smirked. “We should.” He pushed back inside with one big thrust that made your eyes roll back and pulled a long moan from your throat.
“Fuck.” Hyunjin said softly.
“She’s so pretty when she’s getting fucked, isn’t she?” Minho’s voice was fond, tender. “I’ve always thought so.”
“She’s gorgeous.” Hyunjin groaned. “She’s fucking hot is what she is.”
“My girl, Hyunjin.” Minho reminded him with a smirk.
“You’re giving me a show. Aren’t I supposed to be watching?”
“I didn’t say you shouldn’t watch.” Minho fucked into you again, and your moan was broken. “Just don’t try to touch.”
“I won’t, I won’t.”
“Good.” Minho’s hands wrapped around your waist, and he began to fuck you in earnest, his speed picking up. All you could do was grab at his hands and moan, your hips bucking up to meet his.
“Can’t I just touch a little?” Hyunjin’s voice was playful. “Those tits look so nice in that dress.”
Minho stopped moving, looking at you. “Y/n, how do you feel about Hyunjin touching you?”
“Yes.” You said, wriggling in an effort to get Minho to start up again. “Yes, Hyunjin, please touch me.”
Minho smirked again. “Play with her nipples.”
Hyunjin sat behind you, moving your head into his lap, as he leaned over to push the strapless top of your dress down.
“Fuck.” You moaned, your whole body arching off the bed as he began to roll your nipples between his fingers and Minho began to thrust into you again.
“Pretty girl.” He said, his voice a warm contrast to the rough treatment he was giving your tits.
“Sharing might not be so bad, look at how sensitive and twitchy she is.” Minho’s voice was arrogant. You couldn’t see him at this point, your eyes were squeezed shut at all of the sensations washing over you.
“So much.” You breathed.
“Is it too much, baby?” Minho’s voice softened.
“No!” You said quickly. “No, keep going, please, both of you.”
Hyunjin pinched your nipples at the same time, and you let out a little cry. Minho drilled into your hole harder, pushing the air out of you with each thrust. You could feel your orgasm fast approaching.
As you hit the peak of your pleasure, Hyunjin’s ministrations slowed. “No, no, keep going!” You managed to get out through your moans.
“Okay.” He whispered, pinching you even harder. You practically screamed, arching off the bed as they continued to work your body.
You collapsed back down, but neither of them stopped. You felt overstimulated, every sensation so strong and intense, but you didn’t want it to stop. You wanted to be a good girl and get Minho off. You laid there and let it all wash over you.
And soon enough he did cum, deep inside you, with a long groan. Hyunjin’s hands only slowed as Minho pulled out, cum spilling onto Hyunjin’s sheets.
“Ah, sorry.” Minho laughed, looking down.
“It’s okay, I can wash them.” Hyunjin smiled. “Thank you for letting me join, both of you.”
“You’re welcome to share me again, if you like.” You offered, pushing yourself up. You knew you looked thoroughly debauched, your hair messy, your makeup surely running, your top pushed down and your skirt pushed up.
“Fuck, you’re a vision, y/n.” Hyunjin breathed, and you looked down to see how hard he was.
“If… if Minho’s okay with it, you can use me, if you want.” You said.
Minho nodded. “As long as you make her feel good, too.”
Hyunjin swallowed, his eyes raking over you. “I want to make her feel so good.”
You whined.
“Then be my guest.” Minho moved from between your legs, and Hyunjin took his spot. Minho began to stroke your hair, kissing down your neck, as Hyunjin lined himself up.
 You had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
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famewolf · 2 years ago
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wanted to watch something light and dumb so I picked up Naruto again for the first time in a decade
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pucksandpower · 1 year ago
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can i request charles leclerc x singer!reader when reader is basically taylor swift and their relationship is like her and travis kelce 🥹🥹 also charles telling his fellow drivers but they dont believe him until THE taylor swift!reader is in the paddock kissing him
IF ITS NOT TOO MUCH HASSLE OFC
Charles Leclerc x pop star!Reader - Social Media AU
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kymillman
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Liked by charles_leclerc, y/nupdates, and 492,815 others
kymillman Y/N MAKES HER PADDOCK DEBUT
Miss Americana arrives at the Circuit of the Americas and receives no less fanfare than the drivers themselves. Y/N Y/L/N will be singing The Star-Spangled Banner before the race later today!
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leclercbae this was only posted two minutes ago and charles has already managed to like it? must be a new record even for him
enchantedtifosa the devil works hard but charles “y/n y/l/n’s biggest fan” leclerc works harder 🫡
leclercupdates did anyone else see the video of charles spotting y/n walking into the paddock as he was exiting the ferrari motorhome?
f1girlie he turned around to go back inside so fast that the automatic door didn’t even have time to open and he slammed his forehead into the glass 😭
scuderialeclerc charles is trying (and failing miserably) to hide that he’s fangirling harder than anyone has ever fangirled before
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y/nupdates
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Liked by f1wagupdates, ferrarinews, and 683,294 others
y/nupdates Y/N Y/L/N attending the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix as a guest of Scuderia Ferrari today
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lightsoutleclerc crossover of the freaking year
fearlessferrari decade
tifositwilight century
leclercmidnights millennium
f1wagupdates how crazy would it be if the rumors are true and y/n really is at the race because she’s dating charles?
mirrorballeclerc being delulu is the solulu but even my delulu has limits 😂
f1wagupdates well it seems that my delulu is actually trululu
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f1wagupdates
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Liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 1,085,793 others
f1wagupdates This week one year ago, Charles Leclerc attended The Eras Tour as a fan just like the rest of us. Today, Charles Leclerc proudly kissed Y/N Y/L/N after winning the Azerbaijan Grand Prix. King of our hearts and king of manifesting 👑
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charles_leclerc what if i told you i’m a mastermind? and now you’re mine
yourusername what if i told you none of it was accidental? and the first night that you saw me i knew i wanted your body
charles_leclerc once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned
yourusername you and i ended up in the same room at the same time
f1wagupdates i have managed to run this account for five years without getting jealous but this might be my breaking point
tifositears god really saw how much pain ferrari was putting charles through and decided to make his biggest dream come true as an apology
formurrari he deserved it after 2023
charles_leclerc and i would suffer through another season of driving the SF-23 and every single horrible strategy call again if it meant getting to call y/n my own
yourusername i love you 🥹
charles_leclerc i love you more ❤️
yourusername i love you most 🫶
charles_leclerc i love you mostest 😘
landonorris OKAY WE GET IT
charles_leclerc be nice to me or i’ll tell y/n to take away your tickets to her next show
landonorris … carry on
pierregasly also king of never shutting up about his girlfriend
charles_leclerc and proud of it
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parfaitblogs · 2 months ago
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roadkill ❀ s. reid x reader
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in which a vacant home sits awaiting for spencer reid's return, and then he sits waiting for yours. 
pairing: spencer reid x reader genre: hurt/comfort tags: established relationship. cm s12 spoilers. post prison reid. most certainly not canonically accurate. in fact diana reid is nowhere to be seen. canon’s not real anyways i know him better than the cm writers. past non prison reid trauma mentioned. reader has hair long enough for a ponytail (?) word count: 2.6k a/n: happy parfaitblogs post prison spencer reid fanfic to a searows song to all that celebrate.
The air was uncomfortably still in apartment 23. Thick, coating every piece of furniture, as if it was some incredibly translucent fog. Everything had been moved, and yet nothing was different. Empty mugs sitting in his sink with a coffee stain that reached a centimetre from the top, shoes dispersed on the floor by the front door. He just might've gone crazy in prison, considering he was pretty sure he could spot the layer of dust on each and every surface. 
Your things mixed with his own. A blanket he doesn't remember ever purchasing in a crumpled ball on the couch, your laptop sitting awkwardly atop his own on his desk. But you weren't there. He could literally tell from the lack of movement happening in the space, and the fact that your bag wasn't situated anywhere his eyes could see. He also just knew you wouldn't be here. He hadn't spoken to you in three months, not even through words on a page. He was sure he'd not want to talk to you either, if the roles were reversed. 
He wants you here, regardless.
He doesn't like his apartment without you in it. It's dull, and he's too on edge to do anything about it. Letting the oppressive air suffocate him in his new position on the couch, veins still peeking through his cold skin even as his hands sweat from your blanket he had wrapped them in. It smelled of you, and it was the closest comfort he could find in an otherwise discomforting time. 
He wants you here. 
Dinner was a steaming plate of nothing. No food he could eat without being sick sitting in any of his cupboards, for his appetite had grown bland during his time in prison, and you were not a plain crackers eater. He misses your cooking dearly. He misses your rambling about the different spices you were trying out that evening. 
He wants you here. 
His shower was cold. Icy water to rinse the running sweat from his constantly uneasy state. No shampoo, despite how badly his curls needed to be treated nicely again. It was shampoo you had bought for him; shampoo you had lathered through his hair time and time again as you taught him how to take care of his curls to keep them pretty, as you had said. The smell now made him sick.
He wants you here.
His bed remained untouched. The indent of where your head lay in his pillows still there, sheets and duvet wrinkled from your no doubt hurried job at making it that morning. He refused to get into it. Instead, he curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed, like a dog guarding the piece of furniture. His knees at his chest, arms around his legs. Positioned in a ball to keep him as small as possible, probably. Exhaustion never came, and his brain never silenced. He spent who knows how long staring at the doorway, out into his living room, thinking. Longing. Ruminating. 
He needs you here. 
Sunlight was peeking into his apartment through the blinds. Which he hadn't really noticed until he tore his eyes away from the medullary rays he was intensely studying, at the sound of his front door creaking open. He didn't say anything as he heard the familiar noise of your charm adorned bag rattling in the space. In fact, he almost smiled at it. He might've, if not for the aching hole in his chest. 
He had no idea if you knew he was coming home until he heard your breath hitch. You were still far away, standing by the back of his couch, your hand halfway through tugging your hair out of its ponytail. Frozen in time once you had spotted him, confirming that no. You had no idea Spencer Reid was coming home today. 
It was an awkward back and forth of breaths, and eye contact that he couldn't break even if he wanted to. You were real, and you were here, and even though you were staring at him with a heart shatteringly broken expression, he felt relief heat his glacial veins. You had not turned on your heel and sprinted away from him, and you were not screaming at him either. 
He watched your muscles relax and your brain seemingly sink back into your body as the initial shock wore off, your feet now carrying your body over to his position on the floor. 
He untangled his limbs before you reached him, grimacing at the ache in all his joints, ignoring the stickying feeling of the wound in his thigh reopening, blood coating his pants once more. 
You didn't ignore it. 
Nor did you say anything. Clocking the deep red stain on his otherwise white sweatpants, and disappearing into his ensuite to collect his first aid kit and a cloth. He couldn't count on his hands how many times you had stitched him up after he had come home from a case throughout all these years, the act awfully habitual by now. Yet, he was carefully watching your every move like it was the first time, responding to every signal you gave him to move or still. 
Delicate fingers that brushed against his thigh encouraged goosebumps onto his skin, his sweatpants now in a heap on the floor next to your two bodies. His legs stretched across your crossed ones, a quiet, "Sorry," being the first word you said to him, as he winced at the gauze pressing against the open wound. 
He murmured back an, "It's okay," while your hands wrapped a bandage around the limb, your heart rate increasing with fluster as you felt his gaze locked onto your face. 
You aren't sure what to say to him after you finish dressing the injury, and so you stand up, heading towards his closet to pull out a fresh pair of pants for him to wear instead. You weren't quite sure if he actually wanted to speak to you. For three months, you were convinced he didn't. 
He did want to be near you though, you learned. Trailing after you like a lost puppy as you moved through the motions of your post work routine silently. You didn't argue about it, even as he sat in the bathroom while you showered, or watched you intently as you boiled water in the kettle, and made a cup of tea for yourself and him. You didn't ask if he wanted one, and he was eternally grateful you had done it anyways. 
Two cups of tea sat domestically on the coffee table, a sight you had sorely missed throughout these past weeks. He was curled up on the couch, his head in your lap, your fingers entangled in messy curls and balancing your focus between his unsteady breathing, and the old cartoon you had put on for visual stimulation in the space. 
A conversation was needed to be had. One you most certainly did not want to have. You broke the silence to begin it, anyways.
"I wasn't allowed to go see you."
If not for the words themselves, then the cracking of your voice and the obvious heaviness of a sob lodged in your throat broke his heart even more. He had a lot of practice  recently in being quiet voluntarily, and yet he was truly at a loss for words right now. 
"I know," he decides on saying. "I kept you off the list."
"Why?"
The explanation felt incredibly meaningless now. It had at least made sense three months ago. And, worse than that, it was an unfair reason. He should not have decided for the both of you your limitations on seeing him based on insecurities.
"I didn't want you to see me like that," he admits, each word heavy on his tongue, for he could feel the way your fingers stilled in his hair, and he was sure your shoulders had just deflated. 
You swallow down your snarky defence, knowing it wasn't helpful or even worth it right now. Instead, you nod your head, silently, and take a few beats to decide how to respond to him. 
"I just wanted to see you," you whisper, eyes transfixed on the television screen, though your attention was anywhere but. "Just once, Spencer. JJ wouldn't even give me updates on how you were doing."
His throat bobs, and you look down at him, unsurprised to see his eyes studying your face already. 
"I know. I asked her not to. I didn't want you to worry any more than you already were."
You knew he wouldn't do well in prison. If not for how mind numbingly boring it would've been for a brain as active as his, then for how unsafe he would've been as a federal employee. Everyday, you feared the phone calls you received from any of his colleagues, waiting for the one to inform you of his death within those concrete walls. 
To know he was doing so bad he didn't even want you to know about it was quite possibly worse than any fear you had had the entire time he was in prison.
"I pretended to write to you," he informs you, quietly. "It kept me sane. Writing letters, even though you'd never receive them."
"Do you still have them?"
"No."
"Oh. Okay."
He hates how small you sound in your response. He hates himself for throwing away those letters. They may not have been the most pleasant, but they were an insight into his life during prison. One he was sure you were keenly interested in. Never mind the confessions of love he had jotted down. Daily. Reminding himself over and over what he was surviving for. Who he was surviving for. 
"I made a friend this week," he says. "I think he's a friend. He used to be in the Bureau too. We bonded over that and books. He got me my own cell, next to his. We've been playing chess. He's kept me being a federal employee quiet, and kept me safe."
The confusion that had originally swept across your face settled upon realising what he was doing, and your lips twitched upwards. Grateful once more for his eidetic memory.
"I read As You Like It today. I'm not sure if you've read it, or any of Shakespeare's works. I don't know how I've never asked that. I wish I had. I will if I get out of here. I think you'd like Rosalind. She's hilarious. She reminds me a bit of you. She has an entire monologue scolding someone because she doesn't love a man who loves her dearly, while simultaneously berating that man for being a shepherd."
"I read Romeo and Juliet in high school," you say, staring down at him, and his chest puffs in a small laugh. Your heart swells in your own. 
"I miss you everyday," your smile falls again at his words, as does his own, and you instead feel your stomach sink into the same inextinguishable black hole that permanently resided there. "I'll get out of here one day. Even if it's in twenty years. I selfishly hope you never move on if it takes that long. I'll be okay if you do. I love you."
"How many more do you have?" you ask him, fingers trailing down his face, tracing gentle patterns on the skin absentmindedly, for your mind was busy whirring about your first introduction to his time in prison.
"If I think hard enough, all of them," he answers. "It's hard to focus on much right now."
"That's okay," you say, chewing on your lower lip, staring at the two half drunk teas in front of you. "You don't have to tell me another one now."
He only nods his head, and you can only be silent from then on, unsure of what else to say to him that isn't a plead for what you had missed over three months of no contact. 
He encourages you to move to his bedroom after his body falls asleep on you once, before jolting awake after only a few seconds. You comply, and intertwined fingers drag him to the bed you had become exceedingly familiar with. 
He had never felt like a child in the present his whole life. Only ever when he looked back on the years before did he truly recognise he was young. Too young to have lost his dad. Too young to be solely responsible for his mother's health care. Too young to be battling a drug addiction. Every key moment in his life was a violent reminder of how fast he was forced to grow up. Simultaneously, he was unable to stop the time from passing. 
And yet, as you cradled his head in your hands against your chest in his bed, your heartbeat providing him a welcome comfort that you were alive and he was with you, he felt like a child. He felt too young, and, for the first time in his life, he did not feel intelligent enough to deal with any of this. 
He had caught a glimpse of his twelve year old self attending high school when he first arrived in prison. A small fish lost in an ocean of sharks. Here, he ponders whether or not that version of himself ever actually left his body, or if he was simply twelve years old and navigating this adult life fraudulently. 
"I don't know how to deal with this," he whispers into the air.
He despises the way your caressing hand stops. Though, he doesn't mention it. 
"Time, I guess," you murmur, chest rumbling against his head.
"I hate time."
"Yeah," you agree, quietly. "Time is the best healer, though."
"I hate that idiom."
"You suddenly hate a lot of things?" you ask, eyebrows shooting up. 
"Mm," he nods his head, and exhales a sharp breath of air. "Not you."
A quip manifests on your tongue, but you bite it down, unsure if he will actually comprehend your humour right now. "That's good. I don't hate you either." 
Silence settles over your bodies, though, unlike the air when he had entered the night before, it's much more pleasant. 
He breaks the quiet with a whisper. "Thank you for not being mad at me. I'm sorry I didn't let you come see me."
You want to say you're mad at him for the sake of the principle. It wasn't fair, and the way you had felt during those three months was neglected and uncared for. But then the man you had been upset with had come home, and you're very quickly learning his reasons for it all. Anger dissipates quickly when it comes to Spencer Reid, you've found. 
You also believe if you had seen him the way he is now, but without the ability to hold him the way you are, and a piece of glass separating your bodies, you'd probably be a lot less composed. 
"It's okay," you mumble. "Thank you for not making me see you like that."
He only nods his head as a response. 
He fell asleep sometime after your last comment, and you allowed yourself the time to finally look at him intensely.
His skin was bruised. Purple and yellow painting the skin all over, and you fought the urge to search for all the other marks all over his body. You were already blinking back tears; you weren't sure how much more you could handle. 
Quietly, as your hands drop from the contusions on his face to your sides, you whisper earnestly, "I love you too."
And as his breathing hitches for only a moment, you're sure he hears you, even while asleep. 
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡
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serejae · 5 months ago
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FOREVER YOUNG | C.SEUNGCHEOL
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pairing : scoups x reader
WHAT ! - in which seungcheol will always be young to you (or, youve watched seungcheol grow as your relationship does)
warnings : corny ending paragraph (booooo) so self indulgent, i found a gray hair tdy (im 20.)
happiest birthday to my cherry :-(
28
seungcheol sat between your legs peacefully resting his head on your thigh as he scrolled through his phone. you subconsciously run your hands through his hair until you spotted something. taking a double take you gasp making seungcheol look up slightly with his brows furrowed
“whats wrong?” he asked softly clearly tired
“you have a gray hair” you replied laughing slightly still shocked
seungcheol then sat up with one hand ontop of this head with his mouth agape “youre lying” he almost whispered before pacing to the bathroom mirror, you followed him and stood by the door frame watching him move his hair around searching for the gray hair. smiling at the sight you found a pair of tweezers in the drawer and stood behind him pushing him to lower down to get a better look at his hair
“i dont think there was a gray hair baby” he mumbled still in denial
“it must have been the hair dye i have on, its gray right?” he asked looking at you through the mirror
not replying you plucked out the piece of hair that distinguished itself from the rest on his head, it was metallic, clearly a gray hair.
as seungcheol stood there he went back to the couch and face planted on it making you laugh, again you followed him and laid on his back as you ran your hands through his hair
“im so old” he mumbled against the couch letting his shoulders deflate, you rested your chin on it and laughed
“youre still handsome”
“am i?
my younger features are being lost”
“and i watched you lose them, thats the beautiful thing cheol”
he peeped his face out to slightly look at you on his back with his confused face
-
18
you were walking the streets just roaming around when there were a group of guys about to walk past you on a street, you looked at each boy but your eyes settled on one as his settled onto you
he was so cute, his features were so soft. he had a baby face almost (he also had that goofy tall mountain haircut everyone had back then)
that was the first thing you could think of and you couldnt really think of anything else because he stopped you
“hey, uhm…” he paused slightly leaving his hand out
you awkwardly shook his hand as you muttered a “hi”
a few more seconds of awkward silence he continued “i just came to this part of town, do you want to be friends…?”
he had a slight grin on his face which subconsciously traveled to you, it was like he put you under a spell. you nodded making his smile a bit wider
“im seungcheol”
“yn”
seungcheol was gonna continue talking but you both heard his friend group call out for him
“uhm lets exchange numbers really quick yeah?” he again, use that smile that you couldnt resist
-
19
its almost been a year since seungcheol and you have met and almost 5 months since you both had started dating. its crazy how a cute boy you met on the street was now laying on your lap after YOU asked him to be your boyfriend when you both were in a diner and the tension between the two of you in the booth but no words were spoken. you could tell seungcheol tried to utter the words out but the slowness made you eager and say it first. luckily, he immediately nodded needing no time to react
“yes, yes i want to be your boyfriend”
you remember those words he said on the 27th even 10 years later because seungcheol kisses you everyday 27 times in the morning and night to apologize for making you ask him
out
so as he laid on your lap your fingers softly traced the soft curve of his nose, lips, and face shape. taking in the beauty of the man on your lap you were a bit spaced out not noticing the smile placed on his lips
but its not like the both of you cared
-
23
slowly and quietly you made your way to seungcheols gaming room in the shared apartment with his lit birthday cake in hand as kkuma followed behind you with her paws hitting the floor softly. you stood out outside the room looking at your phone
11:58
11:59
you opened the door slightly and peaked in to see him fully focused on the game hes playing
12:00
just then you carefully walk in and tap his shoulder. seungcheol immediately took off his headphones and turned to look at you, when he realized what was going on he smiled and turned to the computer to check the date, turning back to you, you started to sing happy birthday as he looked up at you forgetting about everything around him
when you finished singing he took a moment to continue admire you before letting out a small
“thank you”
before blowing out his candles, but instead of going for the cake he wraps his arms around your waist still sitting in his seat
“can i stay like his for a bit?” he muttered resting one side of his face on your stomach
“yeah, of course” you smiled as you put the cake on his table letting you arms relax down his back as you looked down at him. your hands trace the side of his face that is visible to you, you notice the maturing his face has did over the 4 years.
his features are still soft but more prominent, his nose had shapened a bit, his lips were slightly plumper, and his face was slimmer.
smiling at the baby cheol that you met before youre met with semibaby cheol
but he doesnt have to know that
-
28
i guess he didnt have to know that because he found out himself, thats why youre laying ontop of a 28 year olds back running your hands through his hair as he listens to you talk about how his features have changed from when he was 18, 19, and 23
“i guess 23 when was i realized that your features had changed slightly, 19 was only a bit of difference from 18” you explained to him as he laid one side of his face on the couch
“and now?” he muttered
“youre features…”
you traced over them again causing his lips to lift slightly at the contact
“theyre more defined, your soft nose is more prominent, your plump lips are plumper and pinkish, and your face is more defined”
“but am i-“
“yes, youre still handsome cheol gray hairs and all”
he smiled at the words
“just wanted to hear you say it
you think im old though?”
you smiled continuing to stare down at the one side of his face visible moving a few hairs away from his face
“youre closer to 30 than you are 20 babe”
his lips pouted making you chuckle
“i want to be forever young” he sighed
“then what about me? id be old” you teased making him huff
“then i want to be forever old-
wait no i dont”
you laughed at his slip up making him laugh too
“if there was a chance for you to he forever young but you would lose me from your life-“
your question was cut off by seungcheols quick
“no”
“i wouldnt want to live any life without you in it. if im young, if im old, i want to do it with you
i want to be forever young with you
forever old too, forever mid age, i just want to be forever with you”
“i want to be forever with you too” you smiled caressing his cheek
“your birthdays soon” he nodded and leaned against your touch
your hand slowly made it back to his hair
“maybe youll get more gray hairs sooner then”
“you know, gray hairs dont seem too bad if theyre with you” seungcheol said
“yeah?”
“yeah, i guess youre right in a way, they remind me of the stages of our relationship and how youve been there with me for it all
and it also reminds me of how i cannot wait for you to get your gray hairs” he smiled cheekily
“hey” you scolded him slightly
“you said it shows us growing up with one another so-“
“but still!”
and as the evening continued with bickering it was as if time never changed anything, even when your features are being changed youre reminded that you still have the same seungcheol and you through moments like these
so no, you dont have baby cheol nor semibaby cheol looks wise but cheol will always be your baby
even if you both arent forever young
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secretlovezz · 1 year ago
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Simon with an s/o who has a cat
Prt.2 here! <-
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He hates your cat 😭
Their literally mortal enemies it's ridiculous
The cat glares at Simon 24/7 and he stares right back
You finally make it home after a stressful day at work ready to shower and relax. You open the front door and call out, "I'm home!" You get no response. It makes your brows furrow in confusion, having been used to a little furry friend lying on your unused shoes waiting for you to get home or hearing the heavy steps of your boyfriend making his way toward you. But today there was no welcome wagon for you.
Your heart immediately racks in worry the once steady beat of it moving to an unnaturally quick pace. Your hands move faster to remove your shoes and jacket wanting to look for the person and cat that once populated your apartment.
You call out again, "Simon? My Baby?"
"In here, dove." At the sound of your lover's voice, you're on the move heading to where his voice had been most prominent.
When you get to Simon- in the bathroom -he's clad in only a towel water still dripping from his hair and body and condensation on the mirror signifying he's just gotten out of the shower. Then your gaze goes to his face and his eyes aren't on you they're focused on something on the counter.
Your cat.
They're staring at each other both of them refusing to look away from one another. They were barely blinking. Then you realize why Simon's having a glaring contest with your pet, it's because the cat was on his clothes refusing to move out of pure stubbornness.
Suddenly you're glaring at the both of them too, "Are you guys being serious right now? This is getting ridiculous," you tell them and with Simon's response you roll your eyes and walk away.
"Oh, this is deadly serious, love"
Sometimes when Simon walks by your cat it latches onto Simon's leg kicking and biting the shit out of him (your poor boyfriend is just about ready to chuck the cat into outer space)
Your little fur baby definitely steals or tries to steal food from Simon's plates. Simon swears the cat gets stronger when determined to get into his stuff
Simon's cups have been knocked off of tables more often then not being left to clean up a mess that isn't his
Your looking up from your plate of food as soon as you hear grumbles and silverware clanking roughly against a porcelain plate. You smile a little at the sight in front of you. Simon's pushing your cats head back away from his food, while the cat uses all of his strength. Simon's scowl at the animal only gets deeper when he sees you smile at his unfortunate situation.
"You better not be smilin'," He says annoyance clear in his tone.
Now your laughing, a sound simon usually adores, one that makes his body relax, one that makes him feel safe, but now it has him clenching his jaw and has his eyebrows furrowed.
"Make 'im stop," He growls.
You pretent to think about it for a moment, pointer finger tapping your chin in faux thought, "I don't know si... this is thoroughly entertaining. What's in it for me if I help you?" The vein on his arm looked like it might burst at your question.
"If you don't get this dammed cat away from me it's gonna go missin'," you roll your eyes at his dramatics but called your cat to you regardless.
When you cuddle with one of them the other gets sooooo jealous
Simon will literally toss your little baby off the bed
The cat hits and claws for simon to get away from you
(Your constantly having to scold them its like having two children)
These two will argue with each other Simon's voice is stern its how you imagine he talks to new recruits and your cat is meowing loudly at him clearing cussing him tf out
Groggily peeling open your crused eyes open but quickly closing them as the bright morning sun peeked through your bedroom window you start to awaken. You rubbed into your eyes with the back of your fist before opening them again moving to look at the clock on the bedside table.
11:23
You slept in, or really someone let you sleep in because to your right your boyfriend seemed to have long since left the bed leaving the side he usually accompanied empty and cold.
You stretched and groaned the sheets and blankets moved with you weird groans and grunts leaving your yawning mouth as your joints crackled and popped. You sat up in bed still drowsy with sleep barley aware of your surroundings but still you gripped the enormous blanket and wrapped it around yourself as an act to shield the breezy-ness of the winter weather that leaked into your apartment.
Mreeeooow!
Your head whips to the door at the loud sound. Your cat was talkative but he was never very loud about him. This time the usual cute sound was replaced with an almost screech that made you cringe.
You take a deep breath before standing up and making your way to your room door. Once you open it the sounds of your cat get louder and now you can hear Simon too. His voice is booming but isn't loud it's stern and serious but filled with frustration and anger.
As you walk down the hall to the living area your duvet drag behind you on the floor. The floor creaks and groans under your feet alerting the two others in your home. Both their heads snap towards you. Your little baby's ears are pinned back in airplane mode and his pupils are dilated. Your big baby has his nose scrunched and lips downturned into a frown.
Your voice is laced with tiredness and a little deeper than it normally is, "What are you two arguing about this time?" The back of your hand is rubbing one of your eyes again as you speak.
"The little fucker is bein' disrespectful, he's not listenin' to me."
The cat meows loudly in response to Simon seeming trying to say he was lying.
You sigh and move to pick your cat up, he turns to putty in your arms and nuzzles his head against your chin. You walk towards Simon now. Leaning into him and humming contently when he wrapped his arms around you and the little one in your arms pretending to be annoyed but fully relaxing against your body.
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