#and now i'm like! oh! yeah they're absolute idiots! they definitely think this!

[fairweathermyth]

FARGO 5.09 The Useless Hand

[suzukiblu]

Excerpt from the one where Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it.

(The read-more is definitely necessary, length-wise. I . . . got very into this idea and frankly this is barely a third of it so far, lol.)

"So, uh . . ." Kon says, skeptically eyeing the softly glowing rock in his hand. Metallo, like, threw it at his head. He has no idea why. "Is this supposed to do something or . . . ?"

"It's pink," Kara says leerily, staying very firmly back. Like, unexpectedly far back, in fact.

"Yeah, I'm not actually blind, thanks," Kon says, turning the rock over and squinting at it. It continues not to do anything, aside from the glowing thing.

"No, it's pink kryptonite," she stresses.

". . . it literally doesn't hurt at all, though?" Kon says. Though he probably should've figured it was some kind of kryptonite, given that Metallo had it and had apparently thought he could hurt him with it.

Seriously, though, his gloves are fingerless and he's got it right in his hand. It should be hurting him, if it's actually kryptonite.

"Pink kryptonite doesn't work like that," Kara says, edging a little farther back. They're floating a few hundred feet in the air right now, but from the way she's acting Kon's vaguely concerned that he might be about to explode or something. "It just affects our sexual . . . urges."

"Oh," Kon says, frowning in confusion. Weird, but . . . "Is that all?"

"I don't mean like it makes you horny, Kon, I mean like it makes you homosexual," Kara hisses, looking mortified. "And don't ask how I know, alright?!"

Kon . . . blinks.

"What the literal fuck?" he asks incredulously, just staring at her. "How does that even–are you telling me Metallo went and chucked gay kryptonite at me in the middle of a fight?"

"Yes!" Kara says, still clearly mortified. "So just–just stay over there with it until somebody shows up with a lead box, okay?! The effects will stop after we get it contained."

"Alright, alright. So then do you think the dude was flirting with me or is he just a fucking idiot?" Kon jokes, balancing the kryptonite on his index finger with his TTK. "Although I really don't think he'd be my type either way. Like, nothing against cyborgs in general, obviously, just the whole thing with him being a murderous supervillain who literally runs on kryptonite seems like it'd make us totally star-crossed. I want somebody I can actually commit to, you know?"

"Sure," Kara says, still eyeing the kryptonite with serious trepidation. It's really not helping Kon feel less like a time bomb, to be honest. Is there like some other side effect that he should be worrying about right now or something? Like, is he missing something here?

"You seem kinda high-strung about this," he observes, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Look, you'd have avoided it too if you'd dealt with it before!" she says protestingly. "So stay over there and definitely keep it away from Kal, I don't know if Jimmy ever really recovered from the last time."

"Oh, well, congrats to Jimmy, I guess," Kon says, since he can't really see a downside to scoring a one-night stand with Superman. Like, a downside for somebody who isn't literally his clone, he means. The clone thing would definitely make it weird.

Just it's also Clark, though, so he'd probably be the generous type in bed. Like, the sort to really take care of somebody. Be as gentle as happened to be appropriate but also be down if his partner maybe wanted it a little rough for whatever reason. And he'd definitely be able to go all night. Again, Kon isn't gonna go there himself, it really would be too weird, but he can make a logical conclusion. Extrapolate one. Whatever.

Then again he'd be down with Power Girl absolutely destroying him whenever the fuck she wanted to and she's genetically his . . . some form of cousin or something, he guesses. His half-cousin from another reality. So really, Clark's not even that weird an option. And like, all appearances aside Kon's a binary clone anyway, not even a one-for-one match, sooooo . . .

Actually it's probably weirder that he thinks Power Girl is so unspeakably hot but comparatively Kara is just . . . fine? Like, that's a little odd, isn't it?

Maybe it's an attitude thing. Or the costume.

Might be safe to blame the costume, yeah.

It's just such a good costume. Like, Kon aspires to reach that level of costume.

But really, all that aside he still doesn't even know what the big deal about temporarily going gay is, although to be fair he's also currently talking to Supergirl and not, like . . . literally any dude whatsoever. So like, who knows how weird this stuff might actually make him under those circumstances. Maybe it like fucks with inhibitions and stuff too?

Yeah, hell if he knows. He's really only dealt with green kryptonite before. He was vaguely aware that other colors existed and apparently did different stuff, but . . . this just seems very different, put it that way.

Maybe best to avoid Jimmy Olsen for a little while, Kon decides privately. The guy probably doesn't need that.

Besides, Clark apparently got there first anyway and Kon just really doesn't want to be worrying about measuring up. Miss him with that, thanks.

. . . although maybe he'll go visit Tim later.

Eh, no, Kara made it sound like the pink K's gonna stop affecting him pretty quick once they box it up, so not much point in bothering. Though maybe he'll visit just to hang, come to think of it; they haven't seen each other in almost a whole week. Well, he hasn't seen Tim, at least–who knows how much Bat-surveillance Tim's seen him through.

Kon should maybe sweep his room for bugs again. Note to self.

Although would it be weird to just like . . . keep the pink kryptonite, maybe? Since it apparently doesn't actually hurt anyone or anything? Because that could be, well . . . just interesting, that's all. Like, Kon is open to exploring that experience. Just–as an experience.

"Actually, you're surprisingly not high-strung about this," Kara says.

"Am I?" Kon asks. "I mean, it's not that big a deal, is it?"

She stares at him.

"Kon," she says slowly. "Pink kryptonite affects your sexuality. It makes you attracted to people you're not normally attracted to. It confuses you and everyone around you and it is really freaking embarrassing to explain afterwards."

"I've been mind-controlled into shaving my head and breaking my best friend's arm," Kon says, continuing to not really see what the big deal is. "That was embarrassing. And fucking traumatic. This? This is just kinda weird."

"Only kinda?" Kara asks incredulously. "You're one of the straightest guys I know! How are you just fine with this?!"

"I mean to be fair, that's probably making some unfair generalizations about straight guys," Kon points out. Kara stares at him. "What?"

"I don't even know how to respond to that," she says.

"Sorry?" Kon says, then tucks the pink kryptonite into his jacket pocket with a shrug. He's not trying to hide it or anything; just getting kinda sick of holding it. And it's that or he either ditches it somewhere or starts tossing it around and that'd probably be . . . just, well, absolutely epically stupid of him.

Or it seems like it would be, anyway. Whatever color it is, it's still kryptonite.

"I mentioned keeping that away from Kal, right?" Kara says.

"Yeah, on that note, are they like . . . done down there yet?" Kon asks, glancing down towards the mess of the street that Clark's standing on a few hundred feet below with a whole bunch of randos from S.T.A.R. Labs, for some reason. Somebody mentioned something about neutralizing Metallo's kryptonite heart without actually killing him, but mostly it was science talk and clearly theoretical anyway so to be honest Kon'd kinda tuned it all out as "not currently relevant", and that's all he knows.

"Definitely not," Kara says.

"I'm gonna call Robin while we're killing time, then," Kon says, pulling out his phone.

"You're going to call your closest male friend," Kara says. "Right now. While you've got pink kryptonite in your pocket."

"Yup," Kon says, already pulling up Tim's contact.

"Can you not see how that might be a bad idea at the moment?" Kara asks. "Not in any way whatsoever?"

"Well I'm not calling Impulse," Kon replies reasonably. Kara stares at him again, for some reason.

Eh, whatever.

He calls Tim.

"Hey, Conner, what's up?" Tim answers distractedly, which Kon doesn't hold against him because when isn't Tim distracted, really. Dude's got too much going on in that head of his, for real. He's just glad the guy ever picks up the phone at all.

"So apparently I'm gay right now," Kon greets conversationally, figuring he should lead with that just in case he actually is about to do something embarrassing to explain. "Pink kryptonite is fucking weird, man."

". . . uh," Tim says as Kara covers her face with her hands. "What?"

"Pink kryptonite makes you gay, Kara says," Kon says. "And we're both just kind of chilling above downtown Metropolis waiting for Kal to finish up with the science-y people so we can get said pink K locked up, so I'm bored out of my mind right now and calling you to complain about it."

"You're calling me," Tim says slowly. "While you're . . . gay."

"What, is he asking to come over?" another voice asks from the phone, sounding amused. It takes Kon a second to recognize it, but–oh yeah, that's the mysterious Bernard, isn't it?

Right, Tim has a boyfriend now. Kon's never actually met him on account of being the worst at secret identities and the whole thing that is Bernard living very firmly in Gotham, land of "no metas allowed unless you're either a supervillain or Batman's too dead to stop you", but he's heard him over the phone a couple times now, although they've never actually personally talked. So maybe thinking about Tim while being high on pink kryptonite isn't actually, like, kosher? Or polite. Or whatever.

. . . then again, Bernard did ask.

"I don't know, maybe?" Kon says thoughtfully, considering the idea. "Are you open to me coming over?"

"Yes," Bernard says.

"Bernard," Tim says.

"Babe, I know we're pretending I don't know you're an ass-kicking vigilante and all but come on, don't make me turn down Superboy," Bernard says wryly.

"We're–wait, pretending?!" Tim sputters.

"Pretending so, so hard," Bernard confirms, sounding nothing but fond. Kon's actually a little jealous of that tone of voice, he's gotta admit. Like–it's been a bit since anybody's talked to him that way, is all. "But like, if you actually thought you were being subtle maybe you shouldn't talk about kryptonite on the phone right in front of me or put themed emojis next to all your superfriends' civilian names in your contacts list?"

"Oh my god, you do that?!" Kon asks with a gleeful cackle, immediately forgetting everything else in favor of that absolutely delightful piece of information. "You're the worst! Batman just rolled over in his grave and Oracle is absolutely losing her shit on the other end of her wiretap!"

"B's not even dead right now," Tim says in exasperation. "And if O cared she'd have already hacked my phone and changed them. And for the record plenty of people put random superhero emojis next to their friends' names, that's a totally normal thing to do!"

"Usually the random superhero emojis aren't associated with contact pics that are dead fucking ringers for said superheroes," Bernard says, sounding amused again. "Just as a thing and all."

". . . anyway so you're gay today, how's that going for you, Conner?" Tim says as Bernard laughs gleefully in the background. "Triggering any unfortunate mental health crisises or anything? Making you worry about the validity of your masculinity? Because I can safely assure you that's all bullshit and you're fine."

"Naw, I know all that, being gay is just a thing," Kon says with a shrug. "Kara's being a little weird about it but honestly it's going way better than, like, the times supervillains mind-controlled me into being into them. Like just as an overall experience, I mean."

"Wait, how many times has that come up?" Tim asks in bemusement.

"I dunno?" Kon shrugs again. "I mean you were there for the Poison Ivy incident, and then Gorgeous Gilly happened to me a while later, which was, uh, genuinely horrifying because she tried to literally marry me during all that, so . . . I think just the twice, probably? But don't quote me on that, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast."

"And how is Kara being weird, exactly?" Tim says in his very unsubtle "assessing my teammate's psychological condition" voice.

"Oh, she's mostly just avoiding me?" Kon says, as a guy who's personally not really all that concerned with his psychological condition at the moment. "Because I've got the rock in my pocket on account of not wanting to just leave it lying around somewhere and she doesn't want to get affected by it. I don't know why, I don't really get why it matters."

"I mean it matters, definitely," Bernard says. "Like it very strongly matters to a lot of people."

"Fair, but I think we're all too invulnerable to really have to worry about getting gay-bashed or anything," Kon reasons. "Like, at least not as a heat of the moment thing."

". . . god can you imagine the world we would live in if every piece of shit gay-basher had to deal with the consequences of punching fucking Superman?" Bernard says feelingly. "For real."

"Oh, pink K's temporary," Kon clarifies. "Kal's not gay anymore."

"Hold up, I'm sorry, are you saying that at some point he was?" Bernard demands in obvious delight. "Is that what you're telling me right now?"

"I guess he was into redheads?" Kon says, tilting his head. "Slightly twinky redheads, specifically. Which I don't blame him for, I'm gonna be honest."

"Well now I know that forever, thanks," Tim says dryly.

"Alternate option: he could've been into Batman," Kon points out.

"Redheads it is," Tim says. "You just . . . redhead away over there."

"I mean I thought about it, kinda," Kon admits.

"Ngh," Tim says, for some reason.

"No thinking about Batman, though?" Bernard asks with a snicker.

"Not so much," Kon says, making a face. "Did consider having some Superman thoughts but I'm apparently not that narcissistic, surprisingly enough."

"Kon!" Kara chokes.

"Tell me you've never considered having Superman thoughts and I'll tell you you're a fucking liar," Kon snorts, shooting her a dry look. "Weren't you like totally naked when you first showed up on Earth? And then he found you like that and wrapped you up in his cape all nice and gentlemanly and took you home with him?"

"He is my baby cousin and you're being affected by pink kryptonite poisoning!" Kara accuses, her face bright red.

"Wait, is it actually poisoning me?" Kon says with a frown. "I feel like you should've led with it actually poisoning me, if that's actually a thing."

"Well no, not actually, it's physically harmless," Kara says grudgingly, folding her arms. "But you're still being affected! You're having Superman thoughts, of all things!"

"He just seems like he'd be considerate," Kon says reasonably. "Like, you know. Biblically."

"Ngh," Tim says, again for no apparent reason. Bernard sounds like he might be laughing. Or choking? Or maybe both; it's unclear.

"Please don't hit on Kal," Kara says. "Especially don't hit on Kal with pink kryptonite in your pocket. I don't want to know how that situation would end up."

"Ideally with him being considerate," Kon says. Tim chokes. Kara covers her face again.

"Does pink kryptonite affect your inhibitions too or are you just always like this?" Bernard asks curiously.

"Eh, pretty sure I'm just always like this, going by the things I've definitely still not been forgiven for saying to Power Girl," Kon says, idly tapping a finger against the side of his phone case. "Like, pretty damn sure at this point."

"That is unfortunately accurate," Tim agrees resignedly.

"So you're saying it is ethically okay to have Superboy over while he's gay," Bernard says in a promisingly speculative tone. Kon grins. Just a little, but yeah–definitely he grins. Kara grimaces, because she is absolutely no fun whatsoever.

Spoilsport.

"I did not in any way say that," Tim retorts dubiously.

"I mean that's what I heard, man, and I'm the one with super-hearing in this conversation," Kon says with a wider grin. "My inhibitions are all inhibited and my personal opinions of people are all the same, I'm just currently batting for the other team."

"So your normal opinion of me is that if you were gay, you'd come over," Tim says dryly.

"Yeah?" Kon says, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, obviously."

"How is that obvious?" Tim says.

"Because I already come over every time you let me," Kon reminds him.

"Oh yeah?" Bernard says slyly. "And how often does he let you come, exactly?"

"Not often enough," Kon replies honestly, and doesn't even bite at the obvious dumb sex joke Bernard so thoughtfully set up for him even though it is frankly painful not to.

"Ngh," Tim says. Kon continues not to understand the reason for him repeatedly making that same weird little noise, but whatever, he guesses. It's Tim, maybe he's stitching his own bullet wounds again or something. Guy's a multi-tasker like that.

"You know this would probably make for a fascinating case study about sexuality, actually," Bernard says musingly. "I mean, all I intend to do is abuse the situation to get into your very tight tights, but seriously, maybe we should all be taking notes or something."

"Ugh, hell no, Rob'll go full Bat if we let him do that," Kon snorts, then smirks. "He can take pictures, though, I know he's into that."

"Ngh," Tim says yet again, accompanied by a weird random "thump". If Kon didn't know better, he'd think he'd just fallen off a chair or something.

"Aw dammit, dude, I think I actually like you as a person now," Bernard says, sniggering. "Are you keeping the kryptonite? Please keep the kryptonite. Like, just for Valentine's and Tim's birthday, that's all I ask."

"Honestly don't know if Superman's gonna let me but I do kinda wanna," Kon admits. It seems pretty convenient, really. And definitely fun.

". . . and you're sure his inhibitions and opinions aren't being influenced in any way, Kara?" Tim asks suspiciously.

"He's really just like this, yeah," Kara says resignedly. "Well admittedly Kal spontaneously developed opinions on window treatments and used the word 'smashing' in cold blood when it happened to him, but that might've just been him sucking at flirting. Because he really does suck at flirting."

"What about when it was you?" Kon asks curiously.

"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara says.

"You kinda implied–"

"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara repeats, narrowing her eyes at him and doing an impressively bad job of acting like she's not blushing.

So it definitely happened to her, yeah.

"Okaaaaay, we'll pretend about that too then," Bernard says. "Well, what are your opinions on window treatments, Conner?"

"That I don't know what they are," Kon says.

"Sounds like he's in his right mind to me," Bernard says.

"He is absolutely not," Kara retorts dubiously.

"I really don't feel weird or anything, I swear," Kon tells her, since he still doesn't get the problem but also doesn't actually want to worry her either. "I don't even feel any different."

"Kon, you are hitting on your best friend and his boyfriend," Kara says. "Together. At once. Simultaneously, one might even say."

"You've met Wonder Girl and Arrowette before, right?" Kon says. "And both the Batgirls? And–"

"Oh my god, Kon," she cuts him off.

"Just saying," he says, then pauses for a moment and frowns consideringly. "Actually, question, how gay is this stuff making me, because while we're on the topic of threeways I kinda always wondered about what Starfire and Nightwing get up to together and if–"

"KON!" Kara yells, covering her ears.

"I'm just asking," he huffs.

"I don't know if it's actually possible to be gay enough to not be into Starfire," Bernard says musingly. "Like I can't imagine how it ever could be."

"Right?" Kon says.

"It's possible to not be into Starfire," Tim says. "Like, theoretically. Asexuals and aromantics both exist, for one."

"Do they?" Kon says doubtfully. "Like in general, sure, but when around specifically Starfire?"

". . . I can't technically prove you wrong due to a lack of reliable evidence but still," Tim says. "The possibility is there. If nothing else the multiverse is a thing."

"Last time I saw her she was wearing half a gold lamé bikini and I am not going to tell you which half or define how loosely I am using the term 'wearing'," Kon says.

"I said it's possible, not probable," Tim says.

"What about you, man, are you the gold lamé type?" Bernard asks with a teasing snicker. "Just while you're gay and all, of course. That's like, practically a cultural thing. Gotta be authentic to the experience, yeah?"

"That is in no way whatsoever a cultural thing, babe," Tim says dubiously.

"Please, like I've never worn freaking lamé," Kon scoffs. "I've worn collars and loincloths and leather and crop tops and enough unnecessary belts to tie up a Bat, lamé is nothing."

"Collars and . . . loincloths?" Bernard repeats, sounding confused.

"Yeah, this one time I crash-landed on a lost isle of beast-men and they kidnapped and enslaved me for a few months," Kon explains, waving a hand distractedly. "Frankly I count myself lucky they even let me have the collar, much less the loincloth."

". . . um," Bernard says.

"You, uh, never mentioned the collar part of that story before, Kon," Tim says, clearing his throat. "You very definitely never mentioned the collar part of that story before."

"Oh yeah, the prince kinda kept me as his pet for a little bit?" Kon tells him with an easy shrug. "Like he and all his buddies ganged up on me and then took me home with them, but I was kinda . . . feral, I guess? Technically? So like, collar and chain setup. But he was cool, he took real good care of me."

"Ngh," Tim says just barely faintly.

"Yeah you should definitely come over," Bernard says. "Tim, get the check. Conner, exactly how super is your super-speed?"

"You can just call me Kon," Kon says. "And . . . mach 3, last I clocked it?"

"Isn't that like two thousand miles per hour?" Bernard asks.

"Two thousand two hundred and twenty-three point three," Kon replies with a pleased smirk. "Faster than a speeding bullet. Or so they tell me."

"We'll just meet you at Tim's, how's that," Bernard says. "That work for you, Kon?"

"That works for me, Bernard," Kon confirms, smirking wider.

"Oh my god, Kon, you cannot possibly be serious right now," Kara says in exasperation, rubbing at her temples. "Just because you're temporarily gay doesn't mean you should do anything about it!"

"I mean, I'm feeling pretty serious?" Kon says, shrugging again. He still doesn't get why she's being so sensitive about this. "It's not like this is the weirdest thing I've ever done in pursuit of a good time. Like, holy hell, lemme tell you about the Ravers sometime."

"You're going to have to look Robin in the eye after this!" Kara says. "And work with him! And be a normal person in his presence! Normally!"

"I'm aware?" Kon says, vaguely bemused by her concern. Like he's never been normal around somebody he's slept with before, geez. "Tell Kal I ran off with the pink K, if he wants to lock it up in the Fortress or wherever I can bring it back tomorrow."

"Maybe Monday," Bernard says.

"Or maybe Monday," Kon amends.

"It's Thursday!" Kara sputters.

"So it's a long weekend," Bernard says.

"I'm not explaining this to Kal," Kara says. "I'm not explaining this to Batman."

"I really don't see why you'd have to," Kon says. "Rob, you cool with the long weekend thing? Not too much of an imposition?"

". . . I got the check," Tim mutters in obvious and absolute mortification.

Kon's gonna take that as a "yes".

"Cool," he says, grinning broadly. "See you soon, Boy Wonder."

He ends the call. Kara drags her hands down her face and continues to stay very far away from him and the pink kryptonite in his pocket.

"When you go back to normal and freak out and make everything weird with Robin and your team and even Robin's literal boyfriend, I'm going to say so many 'I told you so's," she swears vehemently. "So don't say I didn't warn you."

"Your objection is on the record," Kon says, then tosses her a lazy salute with another grin and takes off, kryptonite and all.

Best to just scarper while Clark's distracted, yeah?

Definitely best.

[jaytalking]

Spoilers for the fop: a new wish ending.

TW for vague-ish allusions to child abuse/neglect

(I've never written for Tumblr before. Go easy on me.)

----

His interrogator is a child.

Timmy had started to think today was just not his day somewhere in between "coming home from vacation to an invaded Fairy World" and "Being captured by anti-fairies minutes away from the chip and tied to a chair with iron chains". Dale Dimmadone and fucking Foop (Irep. Oh who cares.) of all people being his captors had been the confirmation.

Now there's a child with sunglasses scowling at him, and he's just bracing himself for whatever this damn day throws at him next.

"Why didn't you talk?"

Timmy considers the question for about 5 seconds before deciding he doesn't care enough to weave a lie.

"Fairies can't break the rules, not directly. It applies to revealing secrets too, not my fault they couldn't figure it out."

"But you're not a fairy, the nets didn't work on you, only iron seems to have some kind of effect."

He gives the kid a wry smile. "Burning sting" was definitely An effect.

"Not that hard to figure out; once-human, means exactly what you think it means. So yeah, Maybe I just don't want to give that idiot answers, considered that?"

The kid gives him an angry look, Timmy just raises an eyebrow.

"Don't call my dad an idiot. Do you even know who he is? He seemed to know you, that's for sure."

"Did he ever tell you about a lemonade factory? I pulled him out of there, I knew THAT Dale. Whoever the golden-toothed asshole outside is he's not anyone I care to know, that's for sure."

The kid looks somehow angrier, Timmy continues undeterred.

"I do want to know your name at least, I'm getting tired of calling you "kid" in my head."

"You first."

"Smart. It's Timmy, Timmy T-... Fairywinkle-Cosma."

He's not surprised to feel a spark of recognition from the kid, the sunglasses hide his face but for the average fairy any emotion, especially a kid's, is as visible as ever. What he IS surprised to see is a curl of dread.

"Dev. Dev Dimmadone- why don't you just give up? We've got all the fairies under nets, the chip is gone so they can't do magic anyways, and you're in chains with no way to escape. Dad even offered you-"

"There's nothing he could offer that would make me give up on my family."

There's... a picture, that's starting to be painted in Timmy's mind, and he doesn't like one bit of it; Dev must be the kid Irep used to accomplish this plan, there's no other explanation for the kid being here and knowing so much about fairies otherwise. Dev is a Godkid. Dev is Peri's Godkid-

"What about letting your family go? Would that be enough?"

"... You don't know anything, do you?"

He might have put too much venom in those words by the way the kid visibly flinches and goes silent, but in that moment he doesn't care.

"Do you know what happens when a fairy doesn't grant wishes? Their magic begins to build up, bit by bit- it gets harder to breathe, to do anything without feeling absolutely horrible- and then they're gone, just like that. Without the Big Wand, without the ability to grant wishes, that's what awaits all of them- all of US. Your dad is a short-sighted idiot who doesn't realise I'm not exempt from this- so even if I did tell him how to become like me, he'd have the exact same fate. We'd both be dead and the Anti-fairies would have a grand ol' laugh about it."

"Irep-"

"Irep doesn't care about you. I don't give a damn what he told you, but it's obvious he kept you in the dark about basically all of this and now he's off to do the same to Dale. You need to accept you've been used, kid."

Dev is quiet, eyes fixed on the floor. Timmy's anger deflates slightly; the true mastermind here is Irep, he should reserve his anger for him, not for the kid he strung along.

"... He told me it would make him proud."

The question leaves his mouth before his mind can process it.

"Would that be enough? To justify all of this?"

Something has snapped, an echo of the ignored child who wished so badly his parents would pay more attention and was called selfish for it, who lashed out and wanted more, more, and more to fill a bottomless hole in his heart, felt vindicated when the truth was made evident: that love and attention is not a damn privilege, it's the right of any child.

"It wouldn't, and it wouldn't last for long. You know this, we both know this."

Dev is shaking. Timmy clams his mouth shut. He's shaking and his grip on the iron key is tight.

"There's no way they'll forgive me."

And he has to laugh at that, a short burst cut off by the pain of the chains moving and reaching new skin.

"That's the worst part- they always do. And before you even realise you're in the wrong."

[awearywritersworld]

Hellooooo!

I love your series masq, it’s amazing!

After reading the previous ask about Valentines day gifts, I couldn’t get the thought of Sukuna ordering Yuuji to lend him money so that he can buy flowers for the reader.

Hope you’re having an amazing day!

hi dear!!<333 thank you so very much! i'm happy you've enjoyed the series :) hope your day is going well, too!!!

hehehe i love that! i think their dynamic definitely shifts over time to where they still bully each other, but there's just a little less malice behind their words. perhaps even a familiarity that wasn't there before sukuna's relationship w reader

"grab those flowers, too."

yuuji isn't even remotely startled by the mouth that appears on his cheek in the middle of the supermarket, or the commanding tone that it takes.

he complies, reaching for one of the bouquets.

"no, brat. the one to the left. aren't you supposed to know what she likes?"

yuuji tries and fails to not roll his eyes. "of course i know what she likes."

"then why would you—"

eager to cut him off, yuuji asks, "how do you plan on paying for these?"

"what, you don't have your wallet?"

"no, i do."

a moment of silence passes before sukuna understands the situation.

"what is it that you want me to do, idiot? beg?"

"hm. now that you mention it, this idiot thinks that sounds like a great idea."

"absolutely not."

"well that's alright," yuuji comments, putting the flowers back where he'd gotten them from. "i'm sure she'll be happy with that i picked out for her."

"..wait."

the corners of yuuji's mouth tug upward. "yeah?"

"just get the flowers... please." he spits the word as if it burns his tongue.

yuuji lets him suffer for another few seconds before acquiescing. "oh, i guess that'll work."

sukuna grumbles out some empty threat involving evisceration, but yuuji grabs the bouquet anyway.

despite the way they push one another's buttons, they know they're bound to each other. not because of the body they both inhabit, but because of you.

[scekrex]

Okay, okay, okaaaayy, fluff/crack idea, because you're my inspiration, you cheeky bastard 🤌

The husbandos just spending some lazy morning together, enjoying their time mostly just cuddling and exchanging small, sweet kisses. It was peaceful, quiet, until their penthouse neighbours got... Loud, if you know what I mean 😏. Reader completely annoyed by the disturbing noise in the morning just put on a displeased face, eyebrows furrowed, a full on resting bitch face with intention of murder in his eyes to then say that he just might go and actually murder somebody. Adam reacting with a laugh and simply daring the reader to do so, reader replying with: "Darling, do you want to see me in shuckles? Cause after I'm done, I'm definitely going to jail" and Adam just: "Oh, no no no no, I take that back, who am I supposed to kiss every morning if you go to jail? Your picture?" and reader saying: "You could kiss the glass in the jail during visit times".

Love ya 💁🏻‍♂️🤩

Fucking love ya too u idiot, also love being ur muse bc fuck yeah, being the inspiration for an artist feels fucking great whoop whoop

Cuffed Up

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

The two of you had been up for at least an hour by now but neither of you wanted to leave the bed. It was one of those lazy mornings that you and Adam loved so much, there was nowhere else for you to be today and Adam only had band practice in the evening which left plenty of time for cuddles and kisses.

You were laying on top of Adam, your head was positioned on his chest, perfect to listen to his calm heartbeat, his hands were on your ass and his wings covered both of your bodies like a soft blanket. You were simply enjoying each other's presence in peace.

At least until your neighbors decided that having morning sex loud enough for all of heaven to hear was a fucking good idea.

You lifted your head and glared at the wall that was letting the noises come through to disturb you. “What the fuck?” you mumbled, these motherfuckers had just managed to ruin your entire mood within seconds. The headboard of their bed was steadily bumping against the wall, making the entire thing even more annoying. Who the fuck was having sex at fucking 9am? Apparently those bastards of neighbors you had.

Fucking great.

“I swear if that bitch doesn't quiet down I'll head over to their apartment and stab both of them until they're fucking silent,” you grumbled with furrowed brows and a clearly displeased look on your face. The fucking audacity to disturb you and your husband at such an early time. Adam simply shot you a sharp grin as he petted your hair in order to calm you down a little and commented, “Y’know, I think you should fucking do that.”

That caused your attention to shift from the wall to Adam and you playfully raised an eyebrow at him, ���Darlin’,” you breathed as you leaned in closely, your lips were almost touching his yet they stayed far away enough not to, “You wanna see me in fucking cuffs? ‘Cuz after I'm done with their fucking horny asses I'll be definitely going to jail.”

Adam weighted his opinions for a moment before he responded, “Oh hell fucking nah, while you would look absolutely fucking delicious in cuffs, I need my fucking morning kisses ‘n’ who am I supposed to kiss every fucking morning when your murderous ass is rotting in jail? Your goddamn pictures?” You simply looked down at him with a smug look on your face, “You could kiss the glass in jail during visit times.”

Adam made quick work of moving his hands from your ass to your neck and pulling you down into a heated kiss. His lips were eager to claim yours and it didn't take him long to involve his tongue. A small surprised moan escaped you and it bled into the kiss. When you pulled away just the slightest bit to catch your breath he overconfidently hissed, “The only fucking thing my lips will kiss is your fucking skin.”

His wings shoved you off of him, causing you to land next to Adam on your back. The first man was on top of you in an instant and as if to prove his words his lips started to caress your jaw, your neck, your cheeks and lips turning you into a whining and moaning mess for him.

[weird-is-life]

If you feel inspired could we mere mortals have some insecure remus thinking his crush would never like him, maybe he thinks they're into sirius or james but literally everyone else thinks he's stupid or blind because it's obvious they're embarrassingly smitten and absolutely infatuated with him. remus lupin just deserves unconditional love ❤

Hiii lovely, I am so so so sorry, this took me so long😭 I hope you will like this, tho. Warnings: pet words, too much affection, fluff (1.1k) and yes, Remus deserves all the love in the world🥺

"You're staring," James nudges Remus to his shoulder, looking amused towards the other side of the Great Hall.

"What...- Did you say something?" Remus asks, eyes averting from your figure for a few seconds.

"I said," he chuckles," that you are staring and it's quite obvious, may I add."

"Oh." There's no point in denying, that he likes you and that he is hopelessly in love with you to James, because James knows how big Remus's crush is on you. Too bad, Remus thinks, that you like his best mate Sirius and not him.

Suddenly Sirius appears at the table, sitting down next to them, "Moony, what got you so red, huh?" he joins James to tease him. Remus just ignores him, stirring absent-mindlessly the food on his plate.

"Don't look so grim, Remus. We were just joking," James pats him on the shoulder. "But I don't know why you won't ask her out, she likes you."

"Jamie, I know you are trying to make me feel better, but please don't," he sighs," we all know she likes Sirius, and I respect that."

"What? Moony, don't be stupid," Sirius groans in frustration over how blind his best friend is," we may flirt sometimes, but that's just that, nothing more. She very clearly likes you."

"That's just simply not true, is it? What would she like about me? I'm me and she is well, y/n," he says rather calmly," there's no chance she likes me like that." With that Remus gets up and leaves, his breakfast remaining untouched. 

Of course, James and Sirius can't have Remus being this self-conscious and miserable, so they decide right there to make a party tonight and invite you. They are hoping, that it will be enough to get you two idiots to make a move.

-

Later that day, you come to the party, all dressed up in your prettiest dress just for one person, Remus. But as you scan the room, you can't find him anywhere.

As the party goes by and he doesn't appear to be coming, you excuse yourself from your friends, lying about not feeling well.

And as you step out of the Gryffindor common room with a frown on your face, you stumble right into something or rather someone, nearly falling on the ground. Luckily, they are quick to react and save you from falling embarrassingly on your ass.

"Easy there, sweetheart, don't want you to hurt yourself," you recognise Remus, without even looking at him. His voice and scent familiar to you.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to run into you like that," you say sheepishly, cheeks flushed as your mind registers the pet name.

"It's okay," he smiles at you, altough it falters a little before he asks" are you leaving the party already?"

"I was on my way out, yeah...."

"I-is the party not enjoyable?"

"Not really, my friend wasn't here, i only came, because i thought he'd be here" you say and you can see, how Remus's smile drops.    

Remus didn't know, you were seeing somebody."Oh," he says and then hesitantly adds, "but i-it's definitely his loss."

"I think so too," you say, biting back a smile at Remus's not knowing, "are you just now joining the party?"

His cheeks go pink a bit, " ahh, yes. I was planning on being here on time, but I seemed to have lost a track of time in the library."

"Well, from my side, you didn't miss out on anything yet, the party has really just started."

"Then you should stay, too." Remus tells you, he hopes, that you can see, he wants you to stay.

"I should?" you tease.

"Yes, I'd lo...-like for you to stay," he shyly admits.

"I would love to, but-"

Remus's interrupts you before you even get a chance to finish, " oh, I understand. You probably want to go look for your friend."

"Not at all,"you smile sweetly at him,"I was about to say, that I'd love to stay, but only if you get me some better drink, than the disgusting beer there." He looks at you, clearly confused.

"B-but what about your friend?" he doesn't want to overstep, if you already have a date for tonight.

"Remus....," you whine and put your face in your hands, "I don't understand how can you be so so smart and at the same time be this oblivious idiot."

"What do you mean?" he frowns.

"Fuck, okay," you sigh," I like you Remus. I wasn't waiting for some other guy, I was waiting for you."

His mouth is wide open, Remus thinks that he might be dreaming, because this can't be real, there is just no way. " I- what? Y-you like me?"

"Yes, I've liked you since like forever," you nervously mumble.

"But why?"

"Why?" you look confused at him.

"Well yeah, I'm just me, boring guy that spends all of his time with books or with his 2 mates. Sirius is definitely much more better, much more fun," he shakes his head, he thinks he isn't good enough for you.

"Are you serious? I'm not interested in Sirius, I'm interested in you," you poke his chest," you make me laugh, you are always up for explaining me something when i don't understand it. You are kind and most importantly you have a good heart," you blurt it all out, " I don't want Sirius, I want you, only you Remus."

He looks stunned, at loss for words for a moment, but when he finally catches up to what is happening, he bashfully confesses to you, "that's good, because I really really like you, too. So much, that i might pass out if i don't get to kiss you right now"

"Can you just kiss me then already, Rem? Please?" You impatiently tell him. He doesn't waste any time, his soft lips are kissing you, making you dizzy in a matter of second. It is a sweet but short kiss, that has you chasing his lips for more as soon as his pulls away. Remus chuckles at that, "I will definitely kiss you some more, sweetheart. I just need to get you that drink you wanted and tell you all the lovely things I think about you."

"Fine, but only if I get to tell you as well."

"But you already did," he protests, he doesn't think his heart can take any more fond words.

"That wasn't enough, I need to tell you all of it. Especially how handsome you are," you kiss his cheek and drag him towards the party with a huge grin.

The whole night you and Remus basically take turns at being sickeningly affectionate with your words about each other, as James and Sirius watch you two in horror and delight. They are glad to see Remus receiving all the love, that he very much deserves, but they are not so looking forward to witnessing these endearments all the time from now on.

Although, they won't mind it that much, if it keeps Remus this happy and content.

[anonymous-dentist]

fyi the monkey emoji thing about bbh's chat is fabricated from twitter and his mods have talked about it not being real. no one is doing that and if you talk to any of his fans at all, no one can actually corroborate having seen it. his chat is shit at times and rude, but it isn't saying slurs or racist emoji spamming. i honestly expected better from you as a popular figure in the community, i'm just disappointed you disliking a streamer is blinding your critical thinking about how falsified racism allegations obfuscates criticism of actual racism in the fandom.

Idk king I'm kinda more inclined to believe Literal Actual 6+ Months of Brazilian People Talking About This And Complaining About Feeling Unsafe In BBH's Chat than a bunch of Bad's mods and fans.

There's gonna be some bias there, man, you gotta understand that, right? Of course the mods aren't going to come out and say "Oh, yeah, we allow racist shit in our chat", and of course fans aren't gonna come out and say "Oh yeah we saw that definitely" considering overwhelming numbers of Bad's fans that I have personally seen have gone around demanding Pepito speak English and that everybody Bad talks to should speak English so he can understand and saying, quote, "Bad isn't racist! He lets Bagi speak Portuguese all the time!" and harassing Latin American and Brazilian accounts for MONTHS since the elections in July/August.

Does Bad get a ton of unwarranted hate? Sure, and it sucks. But the first step to acknowledging fandom racism is recognizing it within your own community and listening to the victims of said racism. Sure, this could all be a bunch of bullshit, but it's very very important to listen to actual victims rather than the people in your own echo chamber.

And I'm not saying this because I think Bad's a terrible person (which I don't think he is, btw, I think he's just a dumb privileged white guy), I'm saying this because there is legitimately six plus months of these claims being put forward by hundreds of Brazilian BadBoyHalo viewers who legitimately feel unsafe in his chat and watching him in general because of how his fans have a history of acting both in chat and on Twitter. This isn't a "All Bad Fans Are Xenophobic And So Is He" situation, it's a "Some People Are Acting Like Pieces Of Shit And Nobody Is Holding Them Accountable Except For The People They're Being Pieces Of Shit To" situation. There is a general lack of accountability among Bad's fans, especially when it comes to xenophobia and harassment, that fans from all over the world have noted in the past few weeks, and nobody is listening to these non-American fans at all. Nobody's listening to the French complaining about Bad's microaggressions towards Etoiles and Baghera, nobody's listening to Hispanic fans complaining about the fandom's microaggressions towards Pepito and Roier, and absolutely nobody listens to Brazilian fans complaining about the fandom's long history of actual, genuine aggressions towards Brazilian content creators and fans alike. Instead, the fandom attacks these people and acts like genuine goddamn assholes instead of taking any sort of accountability for their actions, perpetuating a nasty cycle that nobody will take seriously except for the people being attacked; just ask any Brazilian fan, they've experienced so much bullshit at the hands of Bad's fandom by now that they're genuinely hesitant to watch Bad's streams, and it's such a fucking shame that they can't enjoy something they actually love because of idiots.

Maybe I'm an idiot for believing in what you're calling fabrications, but believing potential victims of xenophobia over potential perpetuators of xenophobia saying it isn't real kinda just feels like the right thing to do, yk?

[luvmake]

❝RIVALS-TO-LOVERS IN A MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING ACADEMY❞

requested by: @habibaxdd

tag me when used!

— "That was pretty good." "You? Giving me a compliment? Oh, you've really lost it now."

— A winning over B and, subsequently, rubbing it into their face. A gets all up in B's personal space just to rile them up because A enjoys the sight of B blushing because of them.

— "Funny how you're always getting floored." "Funny how you haven't won a single match in the past month."

— Intimate moment where A needs help with a certain move, and B says, "Sure, I guess an amateur like you does need help." But then they both end up really close, and B feels like they're getting lost in A's eyes. They're both blushing, all caught up in the moment, and then immediately pull away in disgust when they realize.

— "Your stance is weak, and your reaction time is absolute trash." "Excellent pep talk, as always."

— "Wow, your form just gets worse and worse every day." "And you just get more and more insufferable."

— Lots of insults to cover up the slow growth of certain emotions.

— Moment where A gets struck down pretty badly, and B almost instantly runs over while frantically asking if A is alright. A reassures B they're fine and tries to brush them off because A doesn't want to rely whatsoever on B. However, B insists on taking them to the infirmary.

— "You idiot! You could have gotten seriously injured!" "And what do you care?"

— A saying something really hurtful in the heat of the moment which leads to B running off because it really hit a nerve. A is left heartbroken, but they don't understand why...they hate B, don't they?

— A and B get paired to train together, and it gets intense between them, trying to assert who's better than the other. A pins B down, and it's in that moment where they're so close that time stops. Right then and there, they realize all that hate has bloomed into something else.

— It will take ages for them to admit they like each other. Transitioning from once competing and spewing hateful words to suddenly realizing they have underlying feelings is a slow process.

— "You're so pretty like this." "Did I strike your head too hard or...?"

— "Do you want to be my partner?" "For training today?" "Yeah...that's what I meant."

— One of them is truly the most reluctant to admit their feelings, but they do eventually, and then they start dating. The whole academy is flabbergasted because how A and B went from wanting to rip each other's heads off to holding hands in public is beyond their understanding. Even the teacher is befuddled, but the teacher most definitely knew something was brewing between them.

— "I want to kiss you so bad right now." "Right after you shower first."

— "Do you still think my stance is weak?" "Yeah, but that's what I'm here for."

— A kissing B out of the blue to which B says, "What was that for?" and A replies, "At least your reaction time is getting better." For this, A gets a good nudge from B.

— Practicing together while bantering playfully. A would say, "You're taking this seriously, huh?" To which B replies, "You know I don't like to lose, love." while smirking.

— "You've got a bruise on your knee..." "Yeah, wanna kiss it better?"

— "C almost kicked me in the mouth today during practice." "I would still love you, teeth or no teeth."

– In general, they're such playful lovers.

[winterlogysblog]

I've just watched an interview Nakaba did for Netflix, it was quite old something like 3 years ago. But there he was saying about the Sin's interactions, on how Ban is Meliodas best friend and hang out with him a lot while Meliodas and King barely talk to each other: he said it was on purpose to reflect how people have different relationships irl.

This makes me somewhat worried for the 4KOTA, will they ever be closer and feel like a real group, and especially now that Percival's gone for two years? What are your theories?

Oh this is a good question... A good question

Firstly, I like Nakaba's approach with the dynamics and relationships of the Sins it is definitely realistic.

With Four Knights. I like to believe that soon they're gonna have this close relationship between all four of them. It's not a big stretch since they're just four of them and the group started off as teens compared to the Sins which are Seven individuals with most ranging from over hundreds and a thousand years old with different kinds of past trauma that they don't even talk about to each other since there is a rule about that.

With this 2 year timeskip and Percival dipping out. There's a whole bunch of emotions. Lancelot is pissed off and blaming himself for it. And if we look at Tristan's and Gawain's reaction about his death.

Tristan is angry and Gawain seems devastated at the fact that the moment they got together, the moment she accepted herself as part of this rag tag group, Percy left.

When Percy returns, Lancelot is probably the first one to accept it and be happy that he's back. I'm not saying that's his immediate reaction (it probably will, who knows). Next is Gawain then Tristan. Tristan might take a while to process all this unless the probability of Percy actually coming back is really high and Tristan hopes that Percy comes back to them. Cause out of everyone Tristan is mad at Percy.

With the rest, I don't think it really would change much at this point. Lancelot is at rock bottom right now. Lancelot. This is the dude who refuses to go home without Jericho because he thinks it's his fault why she left. After Percy left, Lancelot literally went home and cried. That's the sum of it. He went home, locked himself in his room and cried. (My poor boy) I dunno what everyone is up to after 2 years since we haven't seen any of them. Heck we haven't gotten time skip Nasiens yet. There's a possibility that Lance might have grown closer to Gawain they do give similar "I'm surrounded by idiots" vibes so yeah. With Tristan and Lancelot though. I think they'll be fighting. Since like I said Tristan is mad at Percy and Lancelot isn't, so yeah I can smell possible conflict arising.

Also, speaking of Lancelot being absolutely depressed with Percy gone. I think this is a great way to introduce his cousin.

At this point it's obligatory. I've been waiting for years and I do mention them every time I have the opportunity.

[tamaruaart]

TAM!!!

First off, ily, you’re so stinkin sweet

SECOND!!

Oc interaction question 💕

Which of your ocs would interact with mine, (you don’t have to do them all) and what would their relationships be like? :D

CAMMMMMM ILYSM

Hmmm thankies for askin' :D This one got my brain juices flowin' lol (Sorry it took kinda long to answer bestie- Also I was thinking of making doodles but laziness won 😔)

Zhao:

So first off, she would definitely get along with Jun, that's a given. Zhao is a godmomma and Jun is a momma! They bond over their son <3 I also feel like, you know, something funny is that Zhao is like hundreds of years older than Jun, right? Though, mentally speaking Zhao is in her late twenties maaybeeee early thirties?

Correct me if I'm wrong by all means but I'm pretty sure Jun is older than that so I feel like she would still scold Zhao like she would be scolding a younger sister- Like:

"Oh, don't be so sassy young lady! >:["

"Jun, what-"

"You heard me! You put Wukong to shame with all that attitude-"

Also since Zhao was also on the jttw she would still see Chenguang in Jun sometimes </3

As for another lady she'd get along with? Probably Zhēnzhu, I 'dunno. They just kinda give off those calm vibes and I'm like "Yeah, they'd get along!" Also I feel like Zhēnzhu wouldn't call her "Zhao". She'd either call her "Zhaoyan" or "Yan-Yan" (I love having 50 different nicknames for my characters leave me alone-)

Also childhood friends Ling and Zhao anybody? They're both Celestial girlies- Also I low-key really ship Ling with Wukong even though they're not 1000% confirmed 👉👈 And we all know Zhao kinda really dislikes Wukong LOL- He's like that annoying coworker-

I imagine Ling being like

"Zhao... Not going to lie.. Wukong is kind of.. 👀"

Zhao:

"Oh shut up you had a crush on a stinky lion man-"

"True but at least Azure didn't pee on the Buddha's goddamn finger, LING-"

"...Touché-"

Quanshui:

I have no doubt in my mind that she would adore Meihua. She would probably nickname her "Mei-Mei" (I already told you I love nicknames leave me alone-), and I'm turn Meihua would nick name her "Shu-Shu". You can find them at the most UNGODLY hours going on and on about flowers and bugs.

Also, in my mind Quanshui would look up to Lychee. Mostly because she respects her a lot. And when I mean "look up to" I mean, Lychee is that one cool teacher who you like being around because they're so cool.

Also, just a brainrot though but Quanshui and Ehuang? I 'dunno XD Ehuang is just so fiery and I'm a sucker for the ":D and >:|" friendship dynamic. I honestly see them as kinda Polites and Odysseus in EPIC. Like they're jaded but such an older sibling and softie to this one precious cinnamon roll 🥹

Also her and Bao have an auntie-niece relationship me thinks

I don't know a lot about Chyou, but judging by the vibesies yeah, I think they could get along :D

Yueliang:

No one.

No body likes him /j

For Yue I feel like also Jun, they just have that Calm Mother and Chaotic Son dynamic, you know :D (Also bestie that kissing booth doodle of them amsmdnfnkskdjdjdjmdmddm it's like free therapy for both me and Yue)

Also, this a kinda weird one, but Yue and Asterius? I feel like they'd have a sort of frenemies dynamic. Mostly because they're both space babies and I can just see them waving at each other while flying threw space- Like-

"Hey, dude!"

"Hey, idiot."

(They say passing beside Saturn-)

I also think Polaris would find him cute. Not in "Aww what a cutie" sense but more in an "Awh who is this funny, loud space boy?" sense XD

And we all know Ling and Yue's dynamic- Not going to lie, no matter how much Yue LOVES TO ANNOY this woman... sigh.. Chaotic Aunty and Chaotic nephew vibes-

(Ehuang, Jiang and Suyin would absolutely hate his ass though lmao 😭😭😭😭 They're definitely members of the "I fucking hate Yueliang" club, along with half of China-)

Now, for their JTTW book versions, uhh I thinks it's essentially the same. Except Zhao is an even BIGGER witch asshole in that book so she would definitely get along with Xin Yan more. They'd be ✨t h e w i n e a u n t b e s t i e s✨. Also I totally can imagine book Zhao to be a sort of material figure to Daiyu. Because they're both twisted magic ladies-

And yeah! This was honestly so fun to write :D Feel free to send in more asks like this <3 (Also I'm now checking your OCs and I realized I literally did them all 💀💀💀💀💀💀)

[alohaasaloevera]

I AM SO SORRY (I’m really not) About my 4 day word vomit streak!! HAVE SOME MORE WHILE I IGNORE MY FIC I NEED TO WORK ON!!!

Lance would definitely ramble about the new fnaf movie or whatever and Keith would think "I want to be DOMINATED by him" or something like that and have to physically restrain himself from pouncing on Lance. It's canon, broskis.

Lance: so about pineapple on pizza. Really? I mean, they're both AMAZING apart, but together? No. The flavors do not mix well and—

Keith, internally: please let me choke on-

Lance: Keith? You good?

Keith: oh shit yeah I'm good

Lance: Alright. So I said to the lady, "Have you even thought through this? Do you even know what exactly you're doing?" And then she said, like the idiot she is, "Yeah. I am confident-

Keith: do NOT fucking jump into his lap and start to kiss him until he can't physically breathe. You're better than this, Kogane. Patience yields focus.

Lance: and I start to get annoyed, because who does this lady think she is? I'm trying my absolute best to de-escalate this situation—

Keith: fuck it. *gets up from his chair and sits on Lance's lap, tugging him closer by the lapels on his jacket*

Lance: um... Buddy? What's happening—

Keith: you're such a fucking dork and it annoys me so goddamn much

Lance: hey! I get that sometimes I talk a lot, but—

Keith: *KISSES HIM STRAIGHT ON THE FUCKING MOUTH*

Lance, internally: OH FUCK. OH..FUCK? FUCK YEAH!!!! BOYS I WON!!! HOLYFUCKINGSHIT IM GOING TO EXPLODE RIGHT NOW YEAH FUCK YES—

Lance, panting heavily: *breaks away* that... was unexpected.

Keith: I am so sorry I will never do that again-

Lance: woah woah woah, slow down there—I never said I didn't like it? Though I am very flattered that THE Keith Kogane has decided to—

Keith: Shut up and kiss me.

Hunk: hey guys, have you seen Pidge? I need to work with her on the goo machines—OH! NEVER MIND! I AM TOTALLY FINE WITH FINDING HER MYSELF OK BYE!!

[mintmoth]

OKAY I'm gonna do a big ask response here! There's a few I didn't grab which are mostly just people saying sweet things- to which honestly I can't thank you all enough 😭 it's so wild to me to see people enjoying my art so much

I'm gonna keep most of the replies under the cut since it's gonna get a bit long but I wanted to touch on this one real quick-

Absolutely anyone is free to use my art as an icon wherever! Just be sure to have something crediting somewhere and yeah absolutely go for it!

OH ALSO my submissions don't work on mobile for some reason? The formatting messes up I guess, but check out this awesome coloring!! I love how the layers of shading look 😭

LMAO okay so I've seen a good handful of older/mafia au designs for Floyd and Jade and a lot of them have either both of them with double sleeves or Floyd with sleeves and Jade with a back piece- though I've also seen somewhere both of them having one sleeve on the opposite side

Right now I'm just messing around so I don't have any official tattoo designs for either of them, but I do know I want Floyd with at LEAST the double sleeves, and Jade with some pieces he keeps hidden by mostly wearing business attire lmao

XBSISNK THANK YOU 😭😭 honestly drawing hair is one of my absolutley FAVORITE things to draw lmao, most of my ocs have long hair I just can't help it honestly

YES ABSOLUTLEY probably not too often but I could definitely see Azul going to bed and waking up to a very full bed lmao. Funnier yet because I think all three of them are the type to cling in their sleep when they have someone else beside them. They're just weird sea creatures used to small comfy spaces

I actually haven't thought about this! Honestly I think that would be really cool! Or even if he found that he had a specific shade range of color blindness as a human- though I could see Jade and Floyd taking advantage of that by doing something like giving him the wrong color shirt to wear that day or something lmao

Though you also reminded me! Eels also have terrible eyesight! So I've seen people both having the headcanon that the twins wear contacts, and also the headcanon that Azul needs glasses now because he did a deal to give part of his vision to both of them

Honestly it's really cool to think about! I don't know which headcanons here I like the most, but I love seeing them

Okay honestly I absolutley have to draw this because I LOVE this idea and part of why I'm answering this is to mentally catalogue that I need to draw this lmao

I also love this idea! Like at lunch, after classes before they go to work at the lounge, and after the lounge closes up for the night it just becomes the twins' gossip hour lmao

Because yeah they do spend a lot of time together, but they're still apart a lot, and there's no way they're not telling each other about all the nonsense they're getting up to once they meet back up

DBSISNSK DONT CRY LMAO I got a handful of questions about Niles I want to try to touch on here

Absolutley he wouldn't mind helping anyone set up games on their computer lmao, especially if it's a hard to get visual novel that he's a fan of because he's the type to want everyone to play and love the games he loves

He's definitely dropped hundreds of hours into "creature crossing" with one of those islands with tons of customization and cute shit, and his "island creatures" are mostly cats with a couple dogs and the pegasus LMAO

Also while he's not directly inspired by any specific character, since he's in Ignihyde he does have a little Greek mythos theming and has some inspiration from Eros, which is also why he's very "love" themed/romantic

OH MAN I'm actually not 100% sure which moray I think the twins would be, I'd have to look more into them specifically

But I did want to mention that my idiot self is tempted to make Yet Another Oc (though I probably won't post this one since I feel very oc heavy already) that's also a moray- but specifically a snowflake just because wow I want to make a design around the coloration they have 😭

ALSO!!! Regarding Eel Anon!

I wasn't able to screenshot everything you sent but it was absolutley fun hearing about the dorm idea you have!! I love hearing about new dorm concepts and I've seen a couple nightmare before christmas dorms so it's neat to see the different ideas people have! Also no way do Eri and Rika sound like knock offs of the twins lmao they both sound really fun and I like how they juxtapose one another- also how you have their whole family worked out??? It just reminded me I need to do some more backstory work for my group lmao but honestly it was really cool reading about them so don't even worry about long asks or anything!

[andorerso]

Christmas with the Andors + Erso + Kerri. For the 5 things.

oh, this one's definitely a modern AU! not Maarva friendly but I hope you guys don't expect anything else from me by now.

it's first time Cassian's introducing Jyn to his family. they started dating recently, or so they say. no, Maarva doesn't have to know they've been dating for a year. no, she doesn't have to know Cassian has met the Ersos numerous times and actually spent Thanksgiving dinner with them instead of stuck at home with the flu as he claimed. no, she doesn't have to know they're already living together. it's just... he's learned over the years that it's easier to keep Maarva out of his love life when he can. but it's been a year now, and he actually thinks he might spend the rest of his life with Jyn if she wants to as well, so they have to get over the introductions at some point.

Kerri very kindly pretends she's never met Jyn before and hasn't known about her all along. no, Maarva doesn't have to know they went Christmas presents shopping together just last week. hey ma, isn't Jyn great? don't know what she sees in my idiot brother, but I'm happy for them.

well, Maarva's not sure she agrees. she isn't being outright hostile or rude, but there's always that undercurrent of judgment in her tone. Cassian's so used to it, he almost doesn't notice, that's just how Maarva talks, but Jyn definitely notices and is a bit off-put that this seems to be the norm. Maarva's skeptical, suspicious, inquisitive, definitely overbearing. she doesn't suspect their treachery, but she's clearly evaluating Jyn like she's at a job interview applying for a position in their family, and somehow Jyn doesn't think she's passing.

honestly, she doesn't even care. let the woman think what she wants, what matters is Cassian's opinion. but Cassian's clearly getting more and more pissed off by the second. this is why he never introduces his partners, this is why he waited a year to even tell them about Jyn. Kerri tries to remain cheery, and Clem does his best to keep the tension at bay, but there's no way it doesn't all end in an explosive argument once Cassian finally snaps. in the heat of the moment, he lets it slip that not only has he and Jyn been dating for a year, they've also moved in together last month. the oven pings at that exact moment to signal that the pie is ready. shockingly, no one wants any.

Jyn feels like it's probably best for her to leave at that point. she was gonna spend the night here with Cassian but it doesn't seem like such a good idea now, and although she would like to stay and support him, her presence is probably only making things worse. she gets up to excuse herself, but Cassian absolutely panics, thinking this is it, Maarva has successfully driven her away, because why would he be worth enduring this treatment, what sane person would want to put up with it every year? he follows her outside in a desperate haze to apologize, and she reassures him she's not that easy to scare away. I'm not dating your mother, Cassian, I'm dating you, she says while stroking his cheek. Cassian lets himself lean into her touch, relaxing for what feels like the first time that entire night. yeah, he's gonna have to go back in there and have a very difficult conversation with his mother, and it's not gonna be pretty, and there might be tears and screaming, but right now, it's just the two of them with flakes of snow falling around them and their breaths mingling in the cold air and nothing's going to ruin this moment. (inside, Kerri's definitely yelling, and he can hear Clem's soothing tone once again trying to play the peacemaker. just about how your average Andor dinner would go. Merry fucking Christmas.)

[chipthekeeper]

Acolyte episode 5 commentary by me under the cut. spoiler alert: I had a bad time!!!

- Let’s hope the fucking internet keeps working. And the cats stay laying down. I don't have high hopes for either of those things, but it would be nice

- Oh, predictable. Last week was Day, now we got Night. Who could have seen that coming? This was definitely supposed to be one episode, wasn't it?

- 34 minutes long. Jesus fucking christ. Why didn't they just put them together?

- It really would be cool if Manny is just being— I mean, if Qimir is just being controlled. I think that's a really cool theory that people had about that. Especially if he was, like, hanging [laughing] by his feet, and then whoever was controlling him had to be like, what the fuck?

- No, Pip! :((( Oh, thank God. [relieved laughter] I don't care who dies in this, just don't lose, Pip. Okay, that's, I mean I don't want to lose Jecki, or Yord, or Osha or Mae. Sol, I, whatever. He's Ned Stark to me, I don't care (so much to regret about this whole statement!!!!)

- Oh, he's already dead. How many of them are already dead? Did we already, is this just going to be Osha, like, experiencing all of their deaths? What happened?!

- Hot damn

- Get him, Yord! Oh. Ohhh no. So fast

- [just like two straight minutes of me saying “woah” and “oh no” and “what the HELL” on repeat]

-  (two people impaled on one lightsaber) WHAAAA??? That. Was. NUTS! [delighted laughter]

- No don't kill Yooorrrddddddd! Get him, Osha! There you go. Thatta girl!

- Oh, I am scared

- Dude, I'm so scared, we're like, one minute into this

- Take his lightsab– heeehhh I'm always right

- Pip chill! [absolutely giggling] She just popped his head off and he's a flashlight! [more giggling] Oh my god

- Duck! Heyyyyy

- So that's obviously Manny's arm

- (all the trees get cut in half) Sweet. That’s one way to brighten up your scene

- Oh, why so serious?

- [sort of a long period of ‘I’m in danger’ type of nervous chuckling]

- Oh thank god, Bazil's alive

- “We have to go back!” Ehhhh you really don't

- [during dramatic scene between the stranger and Sol] He's, like, wearing a cape backwards, which is hys.ter.i.cal

- Mae chill, that's like, your sister's girlfriend

- Jecki's the only one that can get anything done around here?.... Oh, okay, maybe not

- You just wait 'til her Wolverine claws come out. Then you're fucked Mae

- We’ve got some serious lightsabering in this one, this is fucking crazy

- Ho ho ho. [singsong voice] What are you hiiiiiding Sol….

- “Jecki’s a Jedi. She can take care of herself” Nyyyeaahhhh…we just saw like, eight Jedi not take care of themselves

- [cackling about Yord’s trailer lines finally coming up]

- “He gets in your mind and stays there” “My mother could do that” Huh!!!.......Is she controlling what's-his-face? Ho ho ho…….

- Nooooo fucking thank you please!

- Jecki I fucking love you, you little badass

- [high pitched whining] I got a bad feeling about this

- YORD!! Fucking idiot, j–thank you

- Take the bugs with yooouuu!

- (Jecki gets skewered) WHAT THE FUCK?!?! No…..Oh now I'm pissed. Now I'm pissed. [breathless] I cannot believe you just fucking did that…..Oh my god. That better be a trick……….I can't even react to seeing that we were all right about him. I'm….just pissed……..Oh fuck this shit

- Why are his arms so weird? They're like...are they just dirty or are they weird?

- And now Yord’s toast too. 'Cause no one is safe in this house

- Fuck this fucking show

- “The Jedi do not attack the unarmed” You SHOULD attack an unarmed Sith!!

- YOU’RE GONNA EVEN KILL PIP I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING

- “Please Osha, I can explain” Yeah do that, right now, do that

- [totally defeated and depressed] I didn’t like that shit at all. This shit sucks, man….

- “They’ve turned you against me” [perfect anakin skywalker impression] HE TURNED YOU AGAINST ME!!!!

- man i’m so fuckin’ confused……what’s gonna happen now??

- [delighted noised at the continuous shot going around the two Amandlas] WHAT A SHOT!!! Are we sure Amandla Stenberg isn’t two people?

- [Leo pointing at tv meme] That's mama's move!!

- Easiest haircut ever

- [almost crying] Little piece of Pip :(((( Fuck this episode, man. God

- Of course we got Bazil, can't kill a cute little alien

- (Mae showing up to Sol as Osha) [singsong voice again] You don't have the tattoooo….

- You're just gonna leave them all there???? Man….fuck. this. shit.

- Bazil knowssss…..that’s not Oshaaaa….

- I wonder how many times people have knocked his helmet off and he’s had to kill them and then fix the helmet

- [incredibly deep sigh] That was somethin’. And I’m not happy

It’s sad how many sounds and like intonations you miss out on because i have no idea how to convey those in words

[coolfire333]

I'm not a Jane Crocker expert at all (so if you happen to be then please jump in with your input especially if you also like problem sleuth) but as a canonical problem sleuth enjoyer I find her very interesting as I am also a big fan of the comic so here are some thoughts I have about her in relation to how I think she might interpret problem sleuth as a comic

I think she would relate a lot to Hysterical Dame upon first reading the comic but would vehemently deny this and says to others that the character she relates to most is Problem Sleuth himself.

I think she sees a lot of herself in male characters, particularly "hardboiled" detective types (her wearing of fake mustaches and masculine hats, her chumhandle itself referring to her as a gumshoe) and will deny comparisons to female characters because 1. she has always found the more masculine side of herself to be more interesting and 2. comparing herself to men lets her ignore the more unflattering sides of herself, while if she compared herself to a woman she'd kinda have to face that head on

Point 2 is something I myself did with Jane back when I was her age and reading post-scratch homestuck for the first time...if asked which (human) character I related to most back then I'd instinctually say John (or Jade but imo Jade is a much "neater" female character to relate to compared to Jane), but when the alpha kids were introduced I found myself really hating Jane, in retrospect because she reminded me too much of myself in a way that felt uncomfortable to read about. She was messy and flawed in similar ways as me but as I grew older I realized we actually had a lot in common that was positive, and in part I was overly harsh on her because of my own internalized sexism.

If Jane was male and has all the same traits I'd probably have been like "wow such a good character this is literally me" but because she was also a girl the whole "disconnect with the ugly sides of self recognition through the other" was not there, and I had a strong "oh no" reaction to what felt at the time like a caricature of myself at my worst. But now that I'm older (especially since I'm no longer Jane's age when I read about her in homestuck lol) I'm definitely owning up to the fact that I do relate to her a whole lot

Point being, Jane herself absolutely does the same thing with Problem Sleuth/Hysterical Dame, where she initially idolizes PS because of his maleness and the comfort that identifying with that brings her in comparison to HD's femaleness (and hyper-femininity in particular). HD is shown to have a hot temper and she disregards authority and directions similarly to how Jane does in homestuck, so I'd say they're more similar than Jane is to PS, and that makes Jane VERY uncomfortable

Jane wants to play the brooding, clever noir Sleuth, and here she goes identifying with the helpless, quick-to-anger Dame, a woman fueled by her irrational, strong emotions. However stereotypical HD is portrayed in the comic, she is equally as powerful, and I think Jane eventually realizes that when she gets into her 20s and is finally done with being a hormonal, overly emotional teenager and owns up to enjoying HD and also relating a lot to her as a character

Like yeah HD is a hotheaded stereotype at surface level but she also cares deeply about her closest female friend, NB, and she and NB deal some of the most powerful blows in the comic to their enemies (and they aren't total idiots or goof off half the time like the men of team sleuth)

Sidenote but something can be said about Jane and Roxy being analogous to HD and NB, with reference to NB's relationship as PI's mirror. PI has a high imagination, which requires alcohol to boost, and if the problem sleuth women have the same vim/pulchritude/imagination stats as their male counterparts, this means NB also has a high imagination, and perhaps a high tolerance or even a fondness for alcohol, which could mirror Roxy's alcoholism in homestuck. The imaginary world's abilities also kinda give me void vibes with the way you have to think imaginatively to conjure up things vs Roxy "appearing" up the matriorb with her void powers, among other things, but I am also not a Roxy expert so take that with a grain of salt.

Jane and Roxy are also probably the closest friends out of all the alpha kids, and HD is almost always seen with NB and the two are implied to be good friends, at the least, so I think they both form a neat pair of "really close female friends who also are really overpowered tbh"

Anyway yeah that's my (slightly-delayed because I forgot my original points trying to write this yesterday) Jane/problem sleuth essay :)

[rojasvall17]

Lmao... okay I thought about whether or not it was worth doing this, but okay. I'm still hot headed after everything I've seen and read, and well, a girl has fucking limits. And oh, I can't take it anymore. And I'm going to express my displeasure and I pretty much don't give a shit if you like it or not, you can come yell at me or try to hit me.

I honestly don't know which one to put as #1 as both seem fucking unacceptable to me and it's really filth. But hey.

1- That all Sq have air in their head and lack of brain???? Why the hell do they treat Emma like she's someone without an IQ? I hate the way they treat her like an idiot or dumb when she's not.

2- The way they treat Emma more like a sex doll than a person when it comes to this ship? I find it absolutely ridiculous because well, I've seen over the years that most of the people on this ship consider themselves feminists.... Yeah, right.

There is supposed to be equality between the two, which there definitely is not.

I'm seriously at a loss for words.

I don't know if they do it because they think that's funny or sth like that... because well, they're not at all.

I'm just talking about Emma now. She's the one who interests me the most in the whole ouat and I think after putting up with so many years of watching this shit.... I simply have to tell you #Sq, you don't love Emma. You just see her as a sex toy.

And she's more than that. There is absolutely no one more amazing and good in the whole fucking OUAT universe than her.

It pisses me off the way YOU treat her.

Starting with the ship itself, god. No one treated her worse than the Evil Queen. Her grandma, yeah, Henry's other mum. She tried to murder her, take her away from Henry, when she only wanted to help him. I've definitely never seen a more toxic ship than this.

By the way, there are times when I just go into looking at stuff about Emma because I love her and I miss her and I end up really, really upset reading that kind of stuff.

It's fucking irritating.

I don't think there's much more to say about that.