#and now i need to sleep bc its 5:30am

[merthurians-prat-and-idiot]

Finally finally catching up with Love, Victor (i just binged the end of s2 and started s3!) And Tracie Thoms!!! I saw her & just went - 🥰 Karen!! 🥰 The weewoo prevails! Also the fact in the same ep one of the characters was wearing the exact same jacket that Buck has! (The black & brown with big checkers one!)

[oflgtfol]

i need to like collapse into bed and have it swallow me whole and never emerge from the depths of it until perhaps four months have passed

[fabulouslygaybean]

i unintentionally passed out, but for some fucking reason my body decided to wake me up again at like 5:10am instead of literally any other normal time

[stonerskinny]

burned a little over 600 at work today, allegedly

only had a gatorade zero (10) and 1/4 of a mikes hard (55)

gonna go home and take a cold shower and fucking weigh myself because i hate myself

actually i just got home and i will be taking a cold shower and weighing myself tomorrow because i am too tired, and too high, for that shit rn

i need to get some actual sleep tonight because at 10am tomorrow i see my psychiatrist and i have to convince her to put me on vyvanse

aaaaand it’s six hrs later and i apparently fell asleep while writing this LOL

anyway. weighed at 277.4 just now and for safety im gonna go back to assuming my scale is correct so that way i dont risk anything and worst comes to worst im a few lbs lighter than i think i am lol

its like 5:30am and i think im just gonna have an alani and stay up even tho im still fucking tired bc i can sleep more after my psych appointment

i am also not gonna count yesterdays cals as breaking my fast bc it was all liquid and i know that i burned it all off like eight times over which means im 31hrs in

planning to break my fast w a progresso light soup, but i don’t know if im gonna do that this afternoon or after work tonight or just tomorrow. if i play my cards right and things go how i want i can sleep most of the day away and in theory not eat before i go to work tonight because i feel fine rn

although how i’ll feel by 7:30pm is a mystery buuuuuuut if i sleep all day i’ll probably still feel perfectly fucking fine

[yyunari]

omg HAHAH yess epic winter is banger!! im thinking 🤓🤓 that ngl i dont really like that faybelle didn't really "learn"(?) much out of it? like the whole signing a deal without reading. like we can tell she's implied to BE better cus she's in the bff pics in crystal's room at the end but it feels so rushed? in a sense 🤠🤠🤠 like i get she's gonna be a villain eventually but like man come on do my girl some justice 😔😔👎 like when i saw the outfits when i was a wee lil kid i was like THIS IS THE MOST GORGEOUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! esp faybelle's and her crystal wings i need to kiss whoever thought of that that was GENIUS 🤯🤯🤩🤩

ok yes but it feel like jackie frost and northwind's takeover of the snow kingdom was ALSO rushed like the ppl were fs like "OH HECK WE HAVE NO MORE TIME EVERYONE GOGOGO LET GOOD WIN ASAP" like they were annoying but like not omg i NEED to punch them annoying ykwim AKKDLWG maybe it's just me LOL but yes way too wonderland is super banger too!!

esp that scene where raven returned the pages to each chara HELLOOOO that was so tear jerking i may or may not have shed a tear esp after apple's character development!! in the whole do you wonder song where they all got pretty wonderlanderful outfits idk maybe it's bc im just pessimistic but if i was darling and i didnt have a whole transformation with them and ended up in a tree and woke up only when they left idk how 15yo me would have took it LMAOO 😭😭😭 defo not well tbh i would have CRIED but darling is so cool i love her aaaaa (can she save me too i mean WHAT)

oh lord i lost the plot BUT yeah i fr thought eah was super super popular too but i guess not?? maybe bc we were young so we didn't know. also i can get why people find apple annoying but most of them don't talk about/see her development like ok it's not the best and she can grow more but her change and how much she grew is amazing esp for a 15-17y.o. like i just KNOW the same people who hate her are the same people who complain about characters who have no flaws like ???? how do u hate development but also hate no development can u pick a struggle 😭😭🤠🤠

but yes i did wanted to ask on ur opinion on the characters (like apple) too. maybe i should make a 20(?) questions thing for eah bc my brain is WORKING 😃👍 i agree that eah had so much potential esp for all the characters' development!! and also!! omg which dolls do u have :O

also girl (is this gendered term ok with u btw, bc i can stick with slayer if not!) did u leave ur computer on bc i slept at 5:30am (for me) and it's almost 3pm now and u are still online HELP 😭⁉️ and yes i DID sleep ok (lol <3 hrs gang wya) THIS GOT SO LONG LMFAO I THINK ITS GONNA BE SPLIT NAURRR (update it's not somehow :O) istg i NEED eah to come back apparently the last activity/media/wtv of it was back in 2018 can mattel use all the barbie profits to fund a reboot PLSSS 😔😔

but i would like to say thank u for returning the energy and answering everything om 😭😭🩵🩵 ive always struggled w that growing up woop so it feels weird but amazing owo (i didnt answer about niki Lol looking forward to the fic and the references!!also common niki L (affectionate) hehe 🥰🥰

yesss i completely get what ur saying i feel like towards the end of the series they definitely rushed some things but it still slapped🙏🙏🙏 THE OUTFITS WERE ALWAYS AMAZINGGG like for literally everything they somehow managed to make every character wear a drop dead gorgeous outfit like even to this day i want to steal all of their wardrobes🤓 faybelle was too queen for everyone to handle but no one’s ready for that 🫡

omfg and rosabella and daring😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that shit was crazy to me when i was younger LMFAOOO esp since i was so apple and daring

SPEAKINF OF APPLE im so glad u brought her up because I COMPLETELY AGREE😭😭😭 i literally love apple so much and it pisses me off that people only pay attention to the side of her that’s pushy and stuff and don’t ever talk about her development like?? the thing about apple that most people don’t realize is that she never tried to hurt her friends and that she always only cared about raven, like she pushed raven to follow her destiny because she was worried that raven was going to poof and she didn’t want to see her friend disappear ☝️ and during true hearts day when ashlynn and hunter revealed they were dating apple was confused about it at first but she was willing to push aside all her previous biases against royals and rebels dating to try to understand ashlynn because she CARES about her 😔😔😔 it’s so sad to me that people only pay attention to the annoying side of apple and not the side of her that cares about her friends and is genuinely looking out for them ughhhh i love her sm her character development is so good

that 20 questions thing sounds so fun LOL u should definitely do it🙏 in terms of characters, my top three is ashlynn, cupid, and apple i love them sm☝️☝️☝️ my main character opinion is that apple isn’t the villain that most people make her out to be but this is random but i wish the creators made hunter huntsman hotter LMAOOOO cus i’ve never really found him attarcttive, i like his character and he’s good for ashlynn butttt at the same time ashlynn is really pretty and he’s kind of mid in terms of looks… but he’s nice😋

the dolls i had were all they in their regular outfits, i think it was apple, raven, maddie, and possibly blondie? i cant really remember if i had any more or not but those were the dolls i can think of, i also had other eah branded things because i was literally sooo obsessed like i had a diary that was rebel on one side and royal on the other, and it played the theme song but i lost it😭😭😭😭

yess girl ok with me since i do identify myself as female🙏🙏 i think tumblr just always says i’m active since it’s on my phone LOL idk discord does the same thing for some reason😵‍💫 and i’m glad u slept well!! istg eah needs to come back or i’ll cry😢 if they come back they should do a live action and i will literally audition to be ashlynn🙏🙏 idc that she’s supposed to be white i’ll be the first asian ashlynn 😜😜

and omg im glad i always try to answer everything when i’m having a conversation with people because i know what it feels like for things to be ignored and i hated that feeling so🙏 but yes look forward to the fic bc i literally finished it today WOO WOO it’s all coming together😍😍😍☝️

[purple-cat-demon]

I posted 548 times in 2022

12 posts created (2%)

536 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cheri-translates

@xxgoblin-dumplingxx

@hifftn

@thatfanfictionchick

@yourssinfullyquiche

I tagged 525 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#mlqc - 370 posts

#mlqc gavin - 322 posts

#cheri sundae - 228 posts

#artist: norelle-n - 67 posts

#mlqc spoilers - 65 posts

#mr love queen's choice - 60 posts

#love and producer - 60 posts

#mlqc cn - 54 posts

#恋与制作人 - 34 posts

#artist: 喵哦哦哦哦哦 - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#the truth is it's like this. bc i started last summer and gave up but. today was a shaw day and i said screw it its getting. finished.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A little update of sorts:

I finally got back to Forever Starts Under the Ginkgo Tree after suffering a gnarly writer's block. Not quite done writing this last part but I'm getting there~

I started an origin story for my two OCs that will tie into my Dungeons and Dragons group, but it's a story that's been in my head for a LONG TIME.

Started writing down notes for Hazel and Gavin's Wedding Fic. (Then I started remembering all the details of my wedding and got a little overwhelmed 🤣)

4 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#4

Ya know, it just occurred to me that I have failed to use the nickname "Hazelnut" for any of my Gavin x Hazel fics...

5 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

So I have the first part of my OCs Origin Story typed out; eagerly getting the second part finished so it can be typed out, and still writing out the third part.

I have so many scenes in my cracked little mind that need to be written and honestly, it feels good to be this invested in my own characters 😅 Now if I could just DRAW these OCs, I would be ecstatic~

I promise I have not forgotten about the last part of Forever Starts Under the Ginkgo Tree! The material I wrote out for that last part seems off to me so I'm trying to revisit it and rework it somehow so it hopefully doesn't sound redundant or boring... I do plan on keeping the morning s*x part though😏

As always, I am forever grateful for your patience and thank you for enjoying my works!

6 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

#2

Forever Starts Under the Ginkgo Tree Part 9

Pairing: Gavin x Hazel

Genre: 🔞Smut🔞 romantic/domestic fluff

Word Count: 4,714

Warnings: wet dream leading to actual sex, unprotected sex.

Beta by the lovely @sin-with-quiche

Dear GEEZUS, this has been a very long time coming and I have my finicky Muse to thank for that (the highly distractive little brat), but yes, this little saga is finally done after about 2 years in the making?? So I hope y'all enjoy the final instalment of Forever Starts Under the Ginkgo Tree~ 💙 thank you all who have been reading it and have been very patient for each instalment~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Sunday 7:30am~~

"Wakey wakey, my love~" Hazel gently whispered in Gavin's ear. A soft moan came from her fiancé, still touring dream land.

"Ngh, how is it that you're awake before me," he shifted towards her, "and here I thought I wore you out last night."

In a swift move by her deft fiancé, Hazel was back on the bed and under him, playfully laughing as he snuggled into the crook of her neck. A hand had snuck up her pajama top and lightly fondled her breast, his fingers gently pinching an already hardening nipple.

“Mmm, how are you this frisky so early in the morning, my love," Hazel giggled

He smiled into her neck before kissing it.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he answered, nibbling her ear before trailing back down to her neck. Lifting his head, he leaned in for a kiss while his knee parted her legs enough for his hand to move downward. Hazel anticipated that delicious next move—

A few moments passed before Hazel opened her eyes to find Gavin had disappeared.

“Huh,” she sat up and looked around, her bleary gaze settling on the sleeping form of her fiancé next to her.

‘What the hell? That was a DREAM?!’

Silently waging war on her rudely overactive imagination, her small tantrum roused the officer from his sleep.

“Mm, what’s wrong, my love?”

“Nothing…,” she whimpered, thoroughly duped by her very convincing wet dream.

Gavin sat up, shifting closer to his visibly dejected bride-to-be and nuzzled into the back of her neck, taking in her scent.

“You sure nothing’s wrong," he wrapped his arms around her torso and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Y-yeah, I just had a super realistic dream, that’s all," she shivered at his touch.

“Oh? And what was it about?"

Hazel felt her face get uncomfortably warm as she recalled the unfinished business of her lewd dream.

“W-well, I guess you could think of it as a continuation of our…session last night.”

“Is that right,” he inquired, mildly intrigued by this dream of hers. He glanced over at the clock on her nightstand, it read 6:56am, he then had an idea.

“Judging from your cute pout, I’d say this dream of yours was…unfinished?”

Hazel squeaked at his deduction, squirming in his embrace as one bold hand found itself in her pajama bottoms.

See the full post

17 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just gotta say, I wholly adore this card art so damn much~ Just look at these two 😍

I'mma just leave it here for y'all~

*note: it didn't actually take this long to evolve this card 🤣

33 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bunnyinluteal]

3:30am :: the symptoms are here...

atarted spotting yesterday evening

i'm in bed now finally and some of the pms is finally hitting

smallest of cramps, faintest of fatigue

feels fine Now but we'll see how i feel waking up

1:12pm - 5:16pm :: i try waking up, then get up

my 11:30am and 12:30pm alarm went off bc i knew i had trash to do

but i kept waking up whether to pee or the baby screaming my sleep was So bad

but then the pms Hit Bad, the fatigue i felt so heavy and then the unwarranted anxiety???

in one moment between this i genuinely felt crazy and then normal for a brief second

"the anxiety isnt even loud like normal but its all encompassing... the way its swallowing me whole, the uneasiness coupled with the just enough fatigue... i feel horrible and i want to cry" — ★

i went downstairs not for myself but for kimo bc he needed water (and then i also did need to eat for my calcium)

i was pleading in my head hoping they were going to take the trash out for me but everyone was busy: they had baby and i forgot mom was cooking

i did Not want to be perceived but they saw how horrible i felt and i went back again a second time and commented on it again

"you look like you're about to cry" said while i am now trying Not to cry bc i feel pathetic and guilty over something so small

eating and water Did help [5:15pm]

managed to find the energy to actually do the trash

went back to bed bc i wanted to rot (i should not have done this bc the fatigue had passed mostly) [6:35pm]

got upset with add server again, cried over a too applicable pic:

made myself cry with a fic

the anxiety came back Full Force

fortunately distracted with the idea of dinner (curry, yay!), showering and hygiene, and pc chores for like An Hour [7:40pm]

now i'm sitting here [9:20pm] okay more or less but the fatigue is returning and the anxiety is getting Louder

maybe some more venting and self-expression is due

[skiinny-lovin]

i'm gonna ramble real quick about all the bad shit in my head.

tw ed maybe sh depression self hatred drugs

i lost about sixty pounds which is the most weight ive lost ever. a good chunk of that time i was living with a meth addict. which meant i was eating and sleeping on a methheads schedule plus he was kind of an asshole so it helped me hate myself and i was working on my feet a lot. that was almost two years ago now. since then ive had a best friend. it was an intense all consuming wonderful and terrible friendship. i made the decision to end the friendship bc i couldnt put myself first. i always wanted to put her first above everything and in some ways it made me resentful. and that wasnt fair to her. it was fair to either of us so i made the best decision i could. now im pretty sure shes trying to get back in contact with me after MONTHS of no contact and its freaking me out. ive started to gain weight i gained about ten pounds. and i hate myself for it. i hate myself. its to the point that i miss the old roommate. which feels a little like saying i miss meth but thats a weird parallel to a drug ive never personally had. i am in pain. all the time mentally and physically and my apartment is eviction level messy (i live in my grandmas basement so im safe). i get out of bed to work bc i have to and to play video games when my bf pesters me but i want to get up and do things. i want to have that random burst of energy and clean to my hearts content but it never comes. i have no energy and no motivation and i feel like i cant do anything or even think. i cant even finish a thought they go in and out of my head so fast its like im not thinking at all. but i cant turn it off unless im dead tired and i get up at 5:30am for work now and im so tired. i just want it all to stop. my head is so noisy i just want it all to stop. just let me sleep. let me be a person. the only time its quiet is when im doom scrolling or rewatching greys anatomy for the gazillionth time. and i thought maybe if i just vomitted my thoughts on here and got it out of my head things would be quiet but they arent its like a screeching whisper so far away but still there i can still hear it. it wont go away and im scared the only way to make it go away is to fill my head with sand like my last medication did. it got so bad i drove on the wrong side of the road for maybe a whole minute without even realizing. (it was a parking lot with no other cars but still) i hate everything and i want to cry and yell but i have no reason to. i want to quit my job that i started only a month ago i want to go out and get drunk and not have to think. i just need someone to help me. to take it all away and help me find the quiet. but even that i hate sitting in silence thats why i have greys playing all the time. i dont know anymore. just let me go

[reinemichele]

Okay, I was going to make this post the day it happened, but I was already really distraught & felt like typing it all out would just like push me over the edge, and I still had to survive NYE fireworks. I decided to at least wait until after the 1st, but then Life Things kept happening, so I didn't get around to it until now.

My righteous anger has mostly simmered down, so but I think it'll probably still get long, so this'll be another read more post. TW for mentions of animal death, emotional abuse, and declawing

To be 100% super duper crystal clear: I am entirely against declawing; it's unethical and cruel and inhumane. This will become abundantly clear as the post goes on, but I just have seen too many pointless disc hoarse posts filled with people who gleefully, willfully misinterpret posts for any reason to harass people. I'm not going to leave myself open to people who'd send me death threats without even reading the full post. As it is, I'm turning reblogs off bc I don't want my post about my cat dying to be reblogged, but if I need to I can turn anon/asks in general off.

So. At 11PM on the 29th of Dec my cat gets hurt, we get to the vet by 12:30, and by 3AM he died. We got home by 4:30AM and none of us could sleep. We were all still awake at 10AM, and dreading the fact that it was a 3-day weekend and we'd have to face all of it trapped with our thoughts without having our normal day-to-day routines to buffer the first 3 days.

We know a lot of energy vampire type people. Liars, manipulators, people who'd come over to our house just to steal something for funsies, abusers. One of my mom's sisters was an accessory to murder. The same one stole my mom's SSN to open credit cards with. I have more examples, but my family tree bullshit could be its own post. A lot of them are in our family and there's some my mom basically has to keep in contact with due to her job.

So, it's 10AM, and my mom is dreading the 2-5 energy-draining people who consistently text her all day long, no matter what's going on or how busy she is. She can be with a patient who's actively in the process of dying, and they'll just text her "?" repeatedly when she doesn't respond.

She decides to tell these people about our cat dying the night before, in hopes that they'll give her space. Unfortunately, abusers like these people love to violate unsaid boundaries like this, so nothing less than blocking numbers/turning off her phone would work. But it's a step towards being able to say "no" that I've been trying to help her with, so we're going to be proud of her for it.

I don't want to use this person's name because as shitty as they are, they deserve privacy, so I'm going to use her initial.

V . responds . "Oh. My sister is trying to rehome her cat, maybe you can take it?"

So let's go over the timeline again. 11PM on the 29th -> 10AM on the 30th. In less than 12 hours since our cat died, V is trying to shove her sister's cat at us. Please don't try to give her the benefit of the doubt or say she was trying to help us feel better. There's not a single thing this person does that comes without ulterior motives; I've known her since 2015. She goes to strangers' funerals so she can brag about it later. She doesn't feed her own cat wet food, not because she can't afford it, but because she'd rather buy cheap dry food at the dollar store and spend the entire rest of her money on herself, like going on cruises/vacations while I petsit her cat. (And use our own wet food for her cat because it's cruel and fucked up and genuinely a detriment to a cat's health to only feed them dry food). This suggestion was nothing short of an impulsive launch at an opportunity to make her life more convenient, by finding a new home for her sister's cat, so her sister would stop complaining or asking her to take the cat.

My family has always had pets, and I'm the youngest in our house, so by the time I was born, a lot of our pets were already getting old and sick (12-15 for dogs, 20-25 for cats). The first pet that died in my lifetime was our dog Killer, when I was 4. My dad had already died, so I didn't need any lies about going to live on a farm or something. And of course it's always sad, but we've always felt like the best thing you can do to ease that pain is take in a new pet and provide them with a home. You get mutual love and happiness from each other, and day by day it gets easier. But, like, you take in that new pet after maybe a month or so. Not a fucking day.

Before continuing, for some extra context, 2 of our cats already had been from V.

The first one, Joey, she only had for a few months before becoming convinced he was peeing all over the house (hint: it was her 20 yr old cat who had chronic kidney/urinary tract problems from being fed nothing but DRY FOOD FOR 20 YRS @%^#&*^*&@#) and offering him to my mom's sister, who ended up dying a few months after that. (We don't know why or how; coroner declined performing an autopsy.)

We call V and tell her what happened, because we don't know what to do with Joey. Her reaction is like, "Oh... hmm. Huh. That's really a shame. Let me know if you find someone who can take him."

As in, "NOT IT!"

They hang up and my mom stares blankly at her phone screen. I say we should just take him home instead of leaving him in the empty apartment and stressing about finding him a new owner.

Flash forward to December of 2020. V calls my mom crying, saying that her (now ex-)husband thinks their other cat, Smokey, peed on his expensive speakers and is threatening to divorce V unless they find a new home for Smokey. V says all the local shelters are full and when she looked into people who'll temporarily house cats for owners, they charge $200 per day. She says she needs to find Smokey a new home like, now. My mom says we'll help her find someone but V is like, her husband has Smokey locked in a cat carrier and says she won't be let out until they find her a new home, that kind of now. We're like, jesus fucking christ, silently. I mute my mom's phone and say "tell her we'll take her". I'm sure she would've said that anyway, but like, instinctual response to hearing the thing about the cat carrier.

(Btw, he divorced V the next year anyway. I wanted her to be away from him, because he's so abusive and mean. But it's so fucked up that he forced her to get rid of her cat with the threat/ultimatum of divorce, only to follow through with the threat anyway. He could've just divorced her and let her keep her cat!!! She had to deal with the heartbreak of a divorce without the comfort of a cat she spent 9 years with!!! He moved out of state, but every time I think about this, I wish I could go and break his kneecaps.)

The problem to that is that Smokey . is declawed . So she has to be separate from our other cats 24/7 for her own safety. None of our cats are very aggressive or get into "real" fights with each other, but they're still cats, with sharp teeth and claws, with predator instincts, who act on those instincts when they can tell another cat is weaker, whose instinct during a fight with another cat is to swipe at their stomach to disembowel them. That's not something you want to take a chance on. So Smokey is exclusively in my mom's bedroom. Over time, we've started to let her out for 20-30 minutes at a time with supervision, but that's the extent of what we can give her without putting her in danger, and it can't be done while doing chores like taking the trash out or doing the dishes. All because V declawed her fucking cats. (Not Joey, but only because he wasn't with her for very long.)

Okay, with that context established, let's go back to V texting us on Dec 30th.

Of course, we could rehome her to someone who didn't have other pets, but she spent 9 years with V, and has now spent 4 years with us. She's a 13 year old all-grey short-hair cat with a bald patch on her belly and on her front legs and below her ears, so it'd probably take a very long time to find someone who'd pick her over a cute kitten, and even longer stuck in a shelter if they had room. And if we had chosen not to be her permanent home, we would've been keeping her at arms' length the entire time, trying not to get attached.

How would that be fair to Smokey? She deserves a life where she spends as many days possible feeling wanted and loved and safe. That's what I set out to do, and I think I've achieved it as much as I possibly could, around her being declawed. I do love her and want her. And I do keep her safe, obviously. I spend as much time as I can with her; we cuddle, we play, we watch birds, I share food with her (when it's safe for cats, obv). With V she was always hiding under the bed and never meowed, just came out to eat. With us, she never hides, purrs non-stop, and is very very vocal. She gets wet food and treats, she sits in the middle of the bed like she owns the place. She gets to be a cat.

I leave my room to go check on my mom. She relays me the text. I say . "What the fuck is wrong with her? It hasn't even been a day."

I ask, "Is V's sister's cat declawed?"

We, like, talk about what a transparently selfish and inconsiderate person V is. I tell my mom I'm gonna try to sleep, but then I stop in the middle of the room.

It's a balancing act to watch out for 1 declawed cat with our other cats, so it would take more mental energy to strategize life around 2 declawed cats, especially with how often I'm asked to petsit. You have to factor in how much time you can spend out petsitting (I usually spend 5 hours there at a time), time you can spend with the Have Claws group of pets (including a dog), and time you can spend with the No Claws pet.

Despite the... misconceptions about cats being detached and aloof, they want (and need) to spend time with you. They want to cuddle, they want to hang out in the same room, they want to hear your voice, they want to play, they want to snooze in the presence of someone they feel safe around; they love you. Same as with dogs.

My mom says she'll find out.

I get some sleep, then I wake up. My mom tells me that no, V's sister's cat is not declawed; she can't find anyone in the state to do it. That's why she wants to rehome the cat.

",,,, How could anyone say that without being ashamed?"

My mom shrugs. "I don't know. I told her, 'wow, we're sitting here miserable because we wish we had our cat back, and your sister wants to get rid of hers because she can't mutilate it' I don't think she liked that because she stopped texting me back."

We laughed.

Silence is telling, you know? V's 20 year old cat died last year, and my mom and I spent months hoping to god that she wouldn't get a new cat, because we didn't want her to declaw it. She swore up and down she regretted doing it to her other cats and would never do it again, but she's also a liar. So after she did get a new cat, my mom and I have checked to see if she still has claws every time we go over. So far she does... but probably because V can't find anyone to do it either.

But then it stopped being so funny when I realized it was probably only a matter of time before one or both of them crossed state lines to look for a vet who'd do it. We can't exactly steal V's cat, but if we take in her sister's cat, we can save it from happening.

I don't really have a good way to finish this. We'd rather take in a cat off the street or from a shelter than have Three cats that came from the same asshole, but if V's sister does declaw her cat, we'll feel responsible for it happening, even if we know it's not our fault.

I just wanted to post about how fucking insane it is to try to pawn off your (sibling's) cat less than 24 hours after someone's cat died. She's almost 70 and has no mental illnesses; she knows better. She's just an asshole.

[humansun]

karma is my BF.

Written Friday, July 28th, 2023 at 11:30AM

Good morning! It’s freaking Friday. Which means. The week is over, and we have accomplished a lot. 

Written Sunday, July 29th, 2023 at 12:29AM

Hi.

I’m dead right now.

Updates/thoughts:

Don’t overbook yourself aka only one major activity per weekend if you could help it. 

Betty, you give a lot of time to other people. You need to give more time to yourself because you’re that important and you have things to achieve.

You can love people but not want to hang out with them until the next 6 months.

I’m fucking tired

If you’re hanging out with friends until 2am and you want to leave, then leave. Don’t stay until 4:00am bc that will become 4:15am and 4:!5am will become 4:30 and next thing you know you’re not in bed until 5:!5am

Sleep is just as important as your workouts and meals and water. Get your 7.5+ hours

Be critical with how you decide to spend your time and energy. You only have one life to live.

Omg this one really got me - fuckennn so you know how in society people don’t really value other people unless they seem to have tangible success? So they’ll look down at someone who’s working a blue-collar job for example. It’s so weird - half the conversations I’m having with people are about valuing life and being free and doing what we should, which is so real, but at the same time a majority of the perspectives out there really value millionaires and shit

It doesn’t necessarily make me shift my own values because I don’t think my values at this point would be changing too much from what they are about

However it does make me think about how i could survive in a world like this. Just thinking about all the strikes, the instability of the work, the potential idealism I may be playing into with everything I’m doing. I don’t know it’s a lot

The type of content I’d like to produce is the type that gives people food for thought, space to question aspects of their lives including themselves, highlight the truths of our world like diversity, and to increase awareness (thought about this one in the shower)

I’m grateful for friends who get me and love me because I get them and I love them

Things we talked about included gatekeeping, being aware of our previous actions and behaviors that may not have served us/our community, social media, They cloned tyrone

Learning is important to me because the more I learn the more I know about things that are beneficial to me and from that I will better my life because of it so why would I not want to learn?

Ultimately every single day on Earth I want to be a better person and I want to continue to have a rich, full, and happy life

To do this I want to recognize my frustrations of the day are from my overbooking in my schedule, probably subconsciously wanting to please other people, and lastly my period/the heat. And that is valid. All of my feelings are valid and its important to remember that:

It will not be like this forever/these feelings are temporary

In every part of our journey we will find that we will slip up or things fall into place in a weird way but it absolutely does not mean we are failing. We are readjusting and learning everyday

Taking the time to learn about myself, my thoughts, my behavior, my feelings, my family, friends, parter, ancestors, culture, community, city, neighboring cities, state, country, countries, world, and universe is essential

Which means I need to give myself time and spend less time with other people

Because this is peace.

[entitty]

oh the "getting anxiety about the diminishing amount of sleep youre gonna get makes you unable to sleep" thing? yeah if thats an intended feature then i am well within my rights to kill god

[imsebastiansta-n]

PR Stunt - Part 1

Warnings: lots of fluff to start with, bit of bad feelings, sebs management being money grabbing assholes, I think that’s it?

Word count: 770 

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Requests are open 🌟

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 A/N: Okay so I wrote this bc I have an opinion and so do others. Please don’t comment/reblog talking shit, bc quite frankly I don’t want to hear it. I think the whole ‘relationship’ is bullshit and all she’s looking for is fame and money.  

If you don’t want to read this, that is absolutely fine, just keep scrolling and carry on with your day.

If you read it and have stuff to say and think its horrible? Don’t say it. Keep it to yourself.

If you read it and have your own opinion, great let me know. Just don’t say awful stuff, say your opinion and leave.

If you read it and have the same opinion as me, great let me know. Again, dont be horrible.

Either way, everyone has an opinion whether it be good or bad. As long as I don’t get death threats and little, teeny boppers in my dm’s going all keyboard warrior, go nuts. 

PS: before anyone says it, I’m not a ‘jealous’ fan. I just care deeply for Sebastian’s wellbeing and mental health. Something a lot of people seem to forget about.

PPS: thank you for 600 followers. You’re all so great 

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It was 3:40 am and you and Sebastian where currently at JFK airport waiting to board a plane to Ibiza.

It was your 4th anniversary, and with Seb working hard on making movies and you studying for your (your Uni) course, neither of you had time to really spend time together. Sure, you went to bed together, but Sebastian was usually awake at 5:30am to get ready for work, while you went to Uni. When you both came home, you were both too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.

 It was starting to take a toll on your relationship, so you and Sebastian both decided a nice holiday was what you both needed to rekindle it.

With your semester ending, and Seb’s current movie being rapped up it was perfectly timed.

So here you where, currently leaning on his shoulder trying to hold back a yawn and failing as your eyes fluttered shut.  

“It’s okay, babe. We’ll be called for our plane soon and then we can sleep.” Seb whispered into your, giving you a small peck.

You hummed in response causing him to chuckle and lean his head on yours and started to people watch.

It felt like minutes when you were softly woken from your nap by Sebastian.

“Baby, come on you gotta wake up. Our flight was called.” He gently shook you awake; you squinted your eyes from the airport lights being too bright and slowly sat up, taking a big stretch.

“Ooh big stretch.” He cooed making you giggle. You both grabbed your suitcases and carry-on bags and made your way to your gateway.

As you were both walking to the gateway, an awful feeling appeared in your belly. Like you knew something bad was going to happen, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

Frowning to yourself, you tried to rack your brain for anything you may have forgotten. You locked the door, made sure all the lights were turned off, made sure your shared apartment was tidy.

So then what was it that gave you the bad feeling?

Sebastian noticed you frowning and frowned himself.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, sweetheart?” he softly asked as to not startle you.

“I just have this really bad feeling in my stomach, and I don’t know why. Its not the flying, we’ve flown so many times now that it’s practically a breeze. I’m trying to think as to what it could be.” You pouted, still trying to figure out the feeling.

Sebastian swallowed hard, thankful you didn’t notice.

He knew the bad feeling you felt, and he knew it well.

You see, in the 4 years you and Sebastian had been together you’ve both been extremely private about your relationship. Neither of you post anything to social media, if asked by paparazzi the question either gets ignored or the subject gets changed. The same if Seb has to go onto a tv show.

What you don’t know, is that Sebastian had a meeting with his management a year ago. They wanted him to become more public with his relationship with you, so they could bring in the big bucks to their wallets. Thankfully, Seb refused to put you in the spotlight intentionally and told them no, in some not so nice words.

But because he told his management no, they threatened to drop him. They gave him an ultimatum.

He either puts you in the spotlight so he can get more publicity, which means more buck in the pockets for them, or he can dump you and be in a PR relationship.

He refused both options. 

Which then came back to then bite him in the ass big time.

They forced the PR on him.

And he never told you.

But he never lied. If you asked him what he was doing, he’d tell you he was meeting up with a friend.

And you never doubted him because you trust him with your life.

Because you’re in love with him.

Its because of your love for him, and his for you that he felt the guilt in the pit of his stomach. His heart stung every time he had to be seen with the blonde woman, it stung because if you saw it and asked, he couldn’t lie to you. He’d have to tell the truth and the thought of breaking your heart and the tears in your eyes would break him so bad.

So he never said anything.

He tried to forget.

Until you started to get the bad feelings.

Every time the blonde woman was somewhere you both were.

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@shafverani 🌙 @buckys-fairy 🌙 @nevenabadr 🌙 @malikstan 🌙 @tiredwriter 🌙 @sea040561 🌙

[leemongrass]

This chronic pain flare up is a fuckinf #%*_%[>!!!! I just want to scream, I’ve been up since 2:30am and its now 5:30am … I need to be up in an hour for work, but I may need to call out again. I made it in yesterday, but rly had to push thru… like realllllly push thru. My new pain specialist wants me to start PT soon, but I am nervous and am so scared it will just cause more pain. I had a classmate do some myofascial massage work between my ribs / intercostal muscles over the weekend, but it resulted in stabbing pains and many hours of crying. I need to continue staying open minded and continue being very observant of my triggers, but the last couple of days I have not been getting sleep due to the pain. I hate waking up my partner in the middle of the night bc I can’t sleep/am sobbing, and he’s understanding, but quality sleep is important to him too. To all of us. He’s out in the living room mediating and I’m in bed trying not to dive deeper into the medical side of the google rabbit hole. I just want some rest :(

[svtxsoju]

02. morning glory fizz | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is! ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Joshua x baking major!OC, and more TBA!  ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, suggestions of sex, language  ღ Word Count: 4.9k words  ღ Binu’s Note: a week late but better late than never i guess 😌 i’ve been avoiding tumblr to finish writing this, but i just kept getting distracted by choi seungcheol. hit that mf like button if you relate. i’m so excited for the special album y’all the teasers and concepts are so sadkfklsj i love seventeen

anyway, i apologize not only for the late update, BUT ALSO bc this chapter is also a lot of exposition again 😔🥺 i promise i’m done setting it all up and that some real shit will go down in the next chapter!! hopefully people will still be able to enjoy this chapter huhuhu 😭💗 if you’re reading this, i love u and i hope u have a good weekend!! 

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Disclaimer ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Having already completed the first half of her college career, Joohyun was well aware of the value of sleep. And yet, like most college students, she could never  seem to manage a decent sleeping schedule. She had only slept 2 hours when her alarm went off at 5:30AM. She groggily rolled out of bed, mentally cursing her past self for thinking that this was a good idea when clearly, the best idea at the moment was to snuggle back up under her covers and sleep in until afternoon. Only one of her eyes seemed capable of staying open as she pulled on her clothes and got ready for the day. When she suddenly heard the front door close behind her roommate, she cursed out loud, throwing her laptop into her bag before she rushed out the door. She half-wobbled, half-hopped along the second-story walkway while she tried to get her shoes all the way on.

“Bok Bongseon! Wait for me!” Joohyun called out in an aggressive whisper.

“HOLY SHIT! You scared me, Joo!” her roommate, a shorter girl with full cheeks and pouty lips, screamed at full volume. She clutched at her racing heart and leaned against the wall while she caught her breath. 

“Shut up, people are still sleeping!” Joohyun linked arms with Bongseon and dragged her down the steps leading to the street. It was still dark outside, but she could already hear the faint bustling of the mart located below their apartment. It was nice to know that they weren’t the only two people in Seoul insane enough to be awake at this hour. 

“I thought you were the ghost of my grandma, you bitch! You know she visits me in my dreams to tell me how disappointed she that I’m a baker,” Bongseon said indignantly, though she still cuddled closer to Joohyun when they were hit by the morning chill. Once they reached the street, they both headed towards the train station without having to say a word.  “What are you even doing up?” 

“I am simply accompanying my favorite roommate to work to make sure that she gets there safely,” Joohyun crooned sweetly, and made kissy faces at the girl, who in turn pinched Joohyun’s lips between her calloused fingers. She tried to protest but could only let out pained whines until she was mercifully released. “Ow!” 

“Sorry but I cannot fulfill your roommates to lovers, 12k slowburn fantasy,” Bongseon continued on nonchalantly as they climbed down the steps to the platform. “You had your chance, but I am a taken girl!”

“Oh, so you and Josh are together today?” Joohyun teased. Although it probably wasn’t the best idea, considering her lips were slightly throbbing from the girl’s attack. “I’ll just wait until tomorrow then.” 

“Wow, bold words coming from Miss Fish Lips.” Bongseon raised an eyebrow and smiled tauntingly. “Understandable, considering  that that was probably the most action your lips have gotten in your entire life. I could probably set it up on a blind date with my fist, if you’d like.” 

Joohyun’s laughter echoed off the walls of the mostly empty station, startling the only other person waiting for the morning train (an old woman, who was still half-asleep prior to being rudely awakened by two very loud girls). Bongseon often made some colorful threats, morning or not, but Joohyun was one of the very few people who could be assured that her words were empty. “Don’t you know that it’s rude to stare, lady?” she barked at the old woman, who was openly glaring at them. Everyone else, on the other hand, was subject to Bongseon’s sharp temper.

This even included her boyfriend of approximately 4 years. ‘Approximately’ being the key word, because the two often took breaks--  a natural phenomenon when one partner was easily provoked and the other loved to do the provoking. Jihoon had told Joohyun that the two had met at the cafe in their freshman year, when Bongseon came in as a part-time baker and Joshua was merely a barista trainee. They started dating within a month and moved into an apartment together in two. That went just as well as anyone would expect. By the grace of whatever entity that was chaotic enough to keep their relationship intact, they made it 7 months before nearly breaking things off for good. As luck would have it though, a new hire and his roommate were in the same exact predicament as them. Kind of. 

Joohyun shuddered to recall her freshman year when she and Jihoon somehow convinced themselves that it was a good idea to share an apartment. In principle it made sense; they had lived across the street from each other since they were in diapers. Two exhausting months into trying to irritate the other into breaking the lease first, they met Bongseon and Joshua when Jihoon started working at Smile Flower. It didn’t take long for Joohyun to suggest the switch— she would move in with Bongseon and Joshua with Woozi. Just like that, she saved both Bongseon and Joshua’s turbulent romance (temporarily) and her and Woozi’s fractured friendship (now thriving). 

She and Bongseon have been roommates ever since, and Joohyun knew her life was a little easier for it. 

“Joohyun, you better stop looking at me with those heart eyes before I really act up,” Bongseon warned. They had boarded the train, but hadn’t bothered to sit down since Mansae University station was only two stops away. 

“But I just love you so much,” Joohyun pouted, affectionately resting her head on her friend’s shoulder. “What does Joshua have that I don’t?” 

“A dick. And that’s about it.” 

“Damn you, heterosexuality!” 

Bongseon snorted out a laugh. “Seriously Joo, how are you awake right now? You’re only ever this lovey-dovey when you’re severely sleep deprived. I know you don’t have classes until 3PM today. You also don’t have your internship today,” Bongseon narrowed her eyes when Joohyun visibly tensed up at the mention of her current occupation. “Also, since when do you watch Youtube videos until 2am? And don’t think I didn’t notice that all of them were titled ‘Relationship Q&A’s’ and ‘I confessed to my crush and he said this!!!’. Got something to tell me, missy?” 

It was so quiet on the train that Joohyun worried that Bongseon could hear all the wires in her brain short-circuit. With Bongseon’s cross-examination skills, it was a wonder why she pursued baking instead of joining her family’s firm. Come on, Joohyun, just tell a white lie. Easy, simple. Don’t need to overcomplicate things. “Oh, uh I— um— well, I j-just thought they were entertaining?” She was done for. 

“Right. You thought random couples self-indulgently talking about their love lifes for 40 minutes with default iMovies effects were entertaining.”  

“Y-yes?” Joohyun threw in her most convincing smile for good measure, but it did nothing to soften Bongseon’s hard gaze. “It’s my new guilty pleasure, haha!”  

“Hm, interesting,” Bongseon was momentarily interrupted by the sound of the arrival bell. Joohyun eagerly pulled her friend towards the exit, hoping that the distance from the train could also get her further away from the topic. Unfortunately for her, Bongseon did not plan on dropping it so soon. “You sure you don’t want to tell me anything, Joo? About your internship?” 

Joohyun began to sweat. Was she really that transparent? “Okay, don’t get mad--”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m super jazzed that you’re getting into relationships and everything, but really Joo? Youtube? You could just talk to me if you need help talking to your new crush at your job!” 

“Oh.” Joohyun would have let out a sigh of relief if she wasn’t out of breath from climbing the mountain of stairs up to the sidewalk. “Right. Confessing. To my crush. That I definitely have.”

“It’s okay to admit you have one, Joo. I’m no  stranger to workplace romance,” Bongseon said, her breathing completely even. A measly flight of stairs was nothing compared to eight hours of kneading dough. “Who’s the lucky bastard, Joo?” 

“Well, I’m not sure I would call it a workplace romance, per se…” Joohyun laughed nervously. There was no way she could stick another clean landing if she kept talking. 

“Shut up, I bet that guy is in love with you already. Who wouldn’t fall for the only editing intern at The Front?” 

“Haha, I don’t know…” Probably no one, because the only editing intern at The Front doesn’t exist? 

Joohyun could not be more relieved to see the small store front of Smile Flower Cafe. It was one amongst the many cafes located near campus, but Joohyun felt like nothing really matched its comforting home-like ambience. But that probably had less to do with the soft wooden floors and pastel ceramic mugs, and more owed to the three years Joohyun had spent hanging around there, usually bothering Jihoon and joking around with Josh. 

The two boys already stood waiting at the cafe’s entrance, too bleary-eyed to notice Joohyun and Bongseon quickly approaching. “Hey, ugly!” Joohyun called out, snickering when both of them turned to look at her. 

“What the hell, why are you awake?” 

“Good morning to you too, Jihoon,” she answered, blowing him a kiss. “I’m actually here to see you, believe it or not. Don’t you feel special?”

“Oh? That’s interesting, because you told me that you came here for me,” Bongseon broke away from exchanging actual kisses with Joshua to look between Joohyun and Jihoon in a way that Joohyun did not like too much.  “I guess it wasn’t a workplace romance after all.” 

Joshua mirrored his girlfriend’s implicating expression as he unlocked the front door, simply because he knew it made his friends squirm. “Wow Joohyun, you woke up this early just to talk to Jihoon? You really couldn’t wait to see him, huh?” 

“Uh, yes because I need his help—”

“Ah, his help, gotcha! Come on, Bongseon, I’ll go help you in the kitchen while these two help each other out here,” Joshua snickered. Before Joohyun or Jihoon could roast the couple in retaliation, they had already disappeared behind the counter. 

After years of similar taunts, all Jihoon could do was shake his head. “Okay Joo, what is so important that you need my help at 6 in the morning?”

“I wrote my first response last night!” Joohyun whispered excitedly, taking out her laptop from her bag. “Well, a few hours ago. I wanted to show you before continuing on with the rest! Here, look.” 

① Dear Miss Soju, 

I just started my first year at MU and she’s an exchange student from New York. We met at a party and talked for two hours about comics, aliens, anything we could think of. It was perfect. She even asked me to walk her home. When the time came for me to make a move though, I kind of dropped the ball. Since we had just met that night, I didn’t want to come off too strong. Now I really regret it - I don’t even have her phone number. I feel like such an idiot! I can’t stop thinking about her, but I don’t even know if I’ll ever talk to her again. Did I make myself seem disinterested? Will we meet again? Will she even remember me?

Sincerely,

Big Cringy Idiot

She let Jihoon read the asker’s message first, then scrolled down to show her answer.

Dear Big Cringy Idiot,

You and your crush seem to have a lot in common. There is nothing wrong with being nervous around someone you like. In fact, it is fairly normal and is a good sign that you like this girl very much. She also seems open to any future possiblities, since she did ask you to take her home. You need not worry about coming off too strong in this situation, although I do admire your dedication to respecting women’s boundaries. I hope you are able to find this girl again so that you can truly tell her how you feel. Best of luck to you!

Sincerely,

Miss Soju

“Joo, that was…” 

“Poetic, beautiful, life-changing?” Joohyun grinned, and nudged her best friend with each suggestion.

“Boring. It was boring.” Joohyun’s face fell, and Jihoon could only offer the girl an apologetic smile. “Dude, you’re gonna put people to sleep if you keep it up like this. I almost took out a pillow to take a nap on the floor.”

“But this is how I write my articles— Informative and concise! How else am I supposed to write it?”

“I mean, that’s great for reporting articles, but this is an advice column. It’s supposed to be fun, sarcastic maybe. Like your promo piece! That was good.” 

“I wrote that as a joke, hoping they would fire me for it,” Joohyun admitted, eyes wide in panic as she looked at her best friend. 

“Huh. Well, I think it would sound better than this Wikipedia article you got going on,” Jihoon shrugged. “Try to be fun!”

“I am fun!” Joohyun cried out defensively, her nostrils flaring with passion. When Jihoon responded with a doubtful look, she let out a dramatic gasp and snatched up her laptop, stomping over to her favorite corner in the cafe. “I can be fun! I’ll show you fun!” 

 “Atta girl,” Jihoon’s signature cackle filled the cafe, further fueling the girl’s aggressive typing. 

Just another morning in the life of So Joohyun.

To the surprise of the cafe’s current occupants, a student already tapped at the glass entrance, clearly in desperate need of his morning americano. He had walked all the way from the freshman dorms after a restless night of tossing and turning. When his phone screen told him it was already 6:05AM, he decided to just give up on sleep altogether. So there he was, trying to start off his day right, at Smile Flower Cafe, only to be stopped at the door by the grumpy barista with the red hair. He always felt like the other one was way nicer, especially since he would go out of his way to sneak him free cookie samples and made pleasant small talk while ringing him up (what was his name? Jonathan?). 

  All the red-haired barista ever did was scowl at him when he asked for a student discount. Now, he scowled at him as he gestured at the sign that indicated that the cafe would not be open until 7AM. The fatigued freshman had half a mind to make some choice gestures of his own, but he refrained and just whipped out his phone instead. He gave the mean barista one last pout before turning around and walking towards the 24-hour convenience store on campus.

➠ [ to: vernonie 😌😎  ] Good morning king. Are you still on your shift ?

➠ [ from: vernonie 😌😎  ] gm seungkwan pls k*ll me 

Seungkwan took that as a yes. It didn’t take long for him to arrive, the entrance bell ringing lightly when he stepped into the small store. At the register sat his roommate, who was clearly fighting to keep his eyes open. “Wol-cuh ‘n—” he tried to greet through a wide-mouthed yawn. “Excuse me, welcome in! Oh, hey Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan answered with a grunt and headed straight for the refrigerated coffee section, choosing the largest can.

“Uh dude, you good? You look like—”

“Like I haven’t slept all night? I am aware,” He immediately opened his coffee and took a long gulp of the beverage in hopes of feeling even a little better. When it did nothing after 30 seconds, he frowned at the concerned cashier. “Vernon, I will not be paying for this drink, because it is clearly defective. Coffee is supposed to fix everything.” 

“Is this about your audition today?” Vernon asked, eyebrows furrowed. “Your monologue sounded really solid last night though. Your audition songs were great too. You totally got this in the bag!” 

“It’s not just about the audition, sweet Vernon,” Seungkwan sighed. “It’s about who I’m going to see at the audition. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.”

“Oh yeah, you are probably going to see them later.” For the past week, all Seungkwan could talk about was the theater tech sophomore that he had met at the theater department’s welcome party. They had sat beside Seungkwan and had helped him through all the fast-paced drinking games, and even took some of his shots when he kept losing. Surely, this was what love felt like.

That was what Seungkwan hoped anyway, because whatever it was made him feel all warm and tingly inside (or it could have just been the alcohol). Nevertheless, he had made big plans to confess to his crush as soon as possible. His dilemma for the past several days was merely a matter of how it would be done. “Not probably! I know for a fact that they will be there, because they told me that they couldn’t wait to see me,” Seungkwan let out a wail and slumped over the counter. “They’re the sweetest, most beautiful person to ever walk the earth and I just want to tell them that I would actually jump off a bridge for them. Why is that so difficult?” 

Vernon nodded sympathetically as he always did. “I mean, if you’re not ready today, maybe you could wait?”

“Wait?! No offense babe, but last time I checked, waiting didn’t get you anywhere,” Seungkwan said,  patting his roommate’s arm. Vernon cringed as he was forced to remember his own romantic blunder from the past week. “Clearly, we are both in major need of help. That Woozi guy’s show didn’t do anything for us! Also, we still haven’t heard from that Miss Soju character and it’s been what? Two days? If she’s such an expert, she would know that love is time sensitive!” 

“Ugh, I know. I keep refreshing The Front’s website just to see if she’s posted it yet.” Vernon sighed forlornly, which was a common punctuation to his sentences lately. “It’s getting me really antsy. What if she doesn’t even choose to answer our emails this time?” 

Seungkwan quickly covered the other freshman’s mouth. “Don’t say that! The universe manifests what we say will happen. We should ask for divine intervention instead.” He cleared his throat in preparation and threw his hands up to the sky. “O Eros, god of love, please shine your blessings down upon my and Vernonie’s love lives for we are but two humble, clueless freshmen in need of romantic guidance. Send down two of your swiftest, sharpest arrows, so that those that we desire may hear your soft whispers—”

Ding. The sound of the entrance bell rang once more, stopping Seungkwan’s prayer short, much to his irritation. “Is this a bad time?” the new customer, an ethereally handsome blonde, asked amusedly. He strode into the store and grabbed two spicy tuna triangle kimbab’s before approaching the counter. 

“Jeonghan hyung!” 

“Ah, Vernon!” Jeonghan smiled. “I didn’t know you worked here. You should come by my and Cheol’s apartment again soon, that was fun!”

“Hyung, this is my roommate that I told you about-- Seungkwan. And Seungkwan, this is Seungcheol hyung’s roommate,” Vernon said all while ringing up Jeonghan’s food. On the side, Seungkwan bowed sheepishly after unfreezing from his previous pose. “How’s your morning going? You wake up pretty early!” 

Jeonghan laughed heartily, shaking his head. “Oh no, I just finished an all-night stream. I just came by to get a snack before heading to bed. Seems like you two have been having a fun morning, though. Do you two always start your day off by praying to the ancient Greek god of desire?” 

Seungkwan flushed a deep pink. “Uh no, it was more like a cry of desperation. Vernon and I are having a pretty tough time confessing to our crushes, so I figured we should just try out anything that might help us. Nothing else seems to be working…” 

“Wait, that’s so cute,” Jeonghan cooed. 

“Would you be able to give us some advice, hyung?” Vernon asked. He didn’t know anything about the senior’s love life, but he did give off the vibe of someone who would know… a lot. 

Jeonghan’s eyes twinkled dangerously, a lazy smirk on his lips. “I mean, I could go talk to your little crushes for you, if you’d like. I’m sure I could get some sort of response out of them.”

One look at Jeonghan had Vernon and Seungkwan shaking their heads vehemently.

“No, we’re good.”

“Yeah, no thanks.” 

“Mm, good call.” Jeonghan took his food from the counter, and winked at the two boys. “I really wish I could help you both more, but I’m sure you’ll get what you’re waiting for soon! Today, if you want it enough.” 

There was something in the way that the senior stated those words that made Seungkwan believe him without a question. It wasn’t a naive suggestion or an optimistic prediction; Jeonghan spoke like it was the truth plainly written on the walls. He finally felt a long-awaited wave exhaustion wash over his anxieties, softening them until they fizzled away alongside the ebbing foam. All that was left behind were grains of sand. Suddenly, Seungkwan yawned,  and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his twin bed at the dorms. 

“Well, I should be heading off to bed! Looks like you should be too, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan said, suppressing his own yawn. The freshman nodded in agreement. He definitely needed to rest up— this was going to be a big day, after all. 

“Say hi to Cheol hyung for me when you get home!” Vernon said. 

Jeonghan hummed thoughtfully as he made his way back to the entrance of the store. “I will if he’s there! He didn’t come home last night.” He turned to leave the boys with one last sleepy smile, seeming to laugh at something only he knew. 

“At least one of us is doing something right.” 

“Jihoon, why can’t I get this right?” 

“I’m sorry! This just sounds nothing like you,” Jihoon shrugged. It had been a rather busy morning, but things slowed down as it approached noon, giving him the chance to look at Joohyun’s fourth draft of responses.  “I’ve never heard you say stuff like ‘rad’ or ‘hella’... Like are you aware that you sound like a skater from the late 90’s?” 

“That’s because the reference I’ve been using is from 1997!” Joohyun huffed in frustration. She was already backspacing albeit with a little more force than necessary. “I wasn’t even born in ‘97!” 

“Exactly, so stop trying to write like that. What if you tried to—” 

“Eat my ass, Hong!” The sound of the kitchen door slamming open interrupted Jihoon’s (probably unhelpful) suggestion, and the two best friends watched as Bongseon stormed out of the cafe in a familiar rage. Luckily, there were no customers to witness it this time. 

Instinctively, they looked to the kitchen door, where Joshua stood with a resigned smile on his full lips. “Oops,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck apologetically. “Guess it was too soon to joke about our last break. Sorry about that, Jihoon. I’ll try to call in the head baker early to finish up the rest of the pastries for today.” 

He walked over to where they sat and plopped himself across from Joohyun. She offered Joshua a look of sympathy, but he responded by twisting his face up in a dumb expression, reassuring her that he was just fine. Still,  she couldn’t help feeling worried for both of her friends. No matter how many times Bongseon and Joshua broke it off and no matter how much Joohyun joked about it, she knew that their strong feelings for each other meant that it hurt a little every time they got into a fight. At least, that’s what she gathered from the various nights she spent soothing Bongseon while the girl cried into a toilet bowl, soju bottle still in hand. 

“It’s okay, Josh, you probably don’t have to worry too much. Knowing her, she’ll probably be back in 30 minutes to make up with you and then Jihoon will have to find someone to take over your shift,” Joohyun piped up. “But please take it back to your apartment this time, because I don’t make enough money to have every surface of my apartment sanitized again.” 

Joshua let out an easy laugh, as though he were not a man in deep shit. “Thank you, Joo. You always know what to say to make me feel better,” he sighed. “I should probably go after her. I’ll be back soon, Jihoon!” 

She waited for him to disappear out the door before turning to her best friend. “Wow, that’s gotta be a new record for them, right? I didn’t even know they got back together until this morning.” Joohyun was surprised to find that Jihoon had been silently staring at her for a good minute now. “...Why are you looking at me?” 

“What you said to Joshua,” Jihoon simply replied. 

“Oh, I was only joking about the sanitation thing. I just walked in on them once in the kitchen—“

“No I mean, how you said it. Maybe that’s how you should be writing your responses.” Jihoon grinned, watching as Joohyun gave him that look again, the one where she looks at him like he’s speaking from a third head. But he knew that this was going to be another Jihoon Genius moment, which seemed to be happening more frequently lately, much to his satisfaction. “Like you’re talking to one of your friends. I mean, it made Josh feel better, right?”

Joohyun’s eyebrows scrunched together and she mulled the idea over. Without another word to Jihoon, she began to slowly type on her laptop, gradually tapping faster and faster as she gained momentum. Her best friend giddily returned to his place behind the counter to tend to the customers that just walked in. He knew that once she got into a groove, there was no hope of stopping her. 

An hour later, Joohyun finally pushed away her laptop and waited for Jihoon to finish wiping down a table before calling him over. For some reason, she was anxious to show him the final product and even when he already sat besie her, she hesitated for a beat. Usually, her writing was professional and objective, always ending with a declarative period. She had spent years perfecting her reporting style so that when she presented the facts, that’s all they were. This, however, felt personal, like it was a part of her. And even though Jihoon probably knew her even better than herself sometimes, there was something so vulnerable about showing someone a side of her that she had only just discovered. 

And yet, she was curious to know— desperate to know: was it any good? 

“Well?” Joohyun watched for Jihoon’s reaction closely, both impatient and terrified to hear his thoughts. 

“Joohyun, this...” Jihoon started slowly. She braced for impact. “This is it. I think you’ve found Miss Soju’s voice.”

She exhaled. “R-really?”

“Yes, really. You answered the questions so thoughtfully, so you know it’s not just some generic bullshit you found on the internet. Plus, it was fun to read, like I think I’d read this even if I didn’t send a letter in,” Jihoon gushed, all while skimming over the words again. He turned to smile brightly at her, reminding Joohyun of a much younger Jihoon back in their elementary school days. “Most importantly though, it’s so you.”

Joohyun returned the smile, just as brightly. Warmth bloomed in her chest and across her cheeks. “Thanks, Jihoon, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Honestly, me neither,” Jihoon laughed.

“Um, can I ask you one more thing though?” Joohyun scrolled down to the last two entries, both of which asked for advice on how to make things official with a guy they’ve been talking to. The two letters were extremely similar in detail, but had been sent from two different emails and two different signatures. At first, she thought that maybe her judgement was muddled by her lack of sleep, and as the day went on, she figured her inability to recognize any nuance between the two letters was thanks her lack of experience. 

There was just something about the way they had described the boy. She knew that  intelligent, funny, kind-hearted, and unbelievably handsome were pretty generic adjectives. But what were the odds for both letters to also mention his infectious laugh and deep, dark eyes? “Do you think these two are from the same person? I’m trying to go for a confession theme for this article, so I included them both, but I’m afraid they’re too similar.” 

Jihoon read them over a couple of times, then shrugged. “They do sound pretty similar, but a lot of people go through that sort of thing. Also, so many people describe their crushes like that, but let’s be real, most of them end up being fuckboys. So trust me, both those people probably need your help. I mean, what’s the harm in publishing both, right?” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Joohyun bit her lip, needing every ounce of reassurance she could get from her best friend. She read over her writing once, twice, thrice more. This was it. No more edits and no more excuses. Her finger hovered over the mousepad. “Okay, I”m going to send it in for approval now. Jihoon, you are about to witness me publish my first article for The Front.” 

Joohyun took a deep breath and clicked. Finally.

[audiovisualrecall]

So its supposed to snow tomorrow so I was like well maybe I should catch a ride from dad even tho it means going in 4 hrs before my shift (at 1pm) and maybe i can start early so if i have to leave early to escape the snow i can do so. But. I forgot i had to make my lunch and water bottle until after midnight and now its 1:30am and I'll have to get up by 7am latest to go w my dad cause he leaves at 8:20, and that means just 5 hrs of sleep. Prolly gonna change my mind when dad comes up to make sure im awake bc I need more sleep than that. Ffs. And we dont even know if its gonna b necessary idk

I mean I can take a nap at work before asking about starting early, but I'll probably only get a half hr at most bc theres not rlly comfortable spots to nap in in the cafe so. Idek. I cant make decisions!!!

[kyn19]

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!