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saving-word-crawls · 1 month ago

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The Last of Us Crawl

By: Annilucy88

Hey all! I’m still working on this one, but someone asked me to post what I have so far, and I figured hey, might be good for motivation. I’ll be posting new chapters as I write them, I’m aiming for one a day until they’re complete. At the end of the Crawl you’ll be able to see the chapter titles I haven’t done yet, so you’ll always know how far through I am. Enjoy!

The Last of Us Crawl By Enn (that’s me!)

Prologue

We start the crawl as Sarah… caught napping, of all things, roused only when dad returns from work. It’s late – way past bedtime. But it’s still today. Take to the forums to encourage a fellow writer or pay someone a compliment as you hand Joel his birthday gift, a good quality watch you’ve been saves for ages to afford. He punks you for your trouble and teases you about helping with the mortgage, you tease him straight back about being a drug dealer. It’s unconventional, but the love and comfort is there. Happy birthday. Write at your own pace for 10 minutes to fall asleep on the couch.

The sweet moment isn’t to last, though. You’re woken by the phone, and an urgent call from your uncle. Sprint for 5 minutes as you try and make sense of the situation, before the line goes dead. Something’s not write. Write 100 words as you go around the house, looking for your dad and finding only hints of trouble.

Optional: Include a birthday, a card, a short poem, or a bad joke, in your story. Sure, the dinosaur card was cheesy, but it’s still there.

You jump as your dad appears, dashing in from outside, through the glass doors to the back yard. You watch in horror as your infected neighbour smashes the glass and attacks your dad, and is shot in self defence. You have to go. Sprint for another 5 minutes as you run to the car and meet your uncle Tommy.

Things start calm enough, but as soon as you get near the city, it’s chaos. Screaming, explosions, people on fire… look out! A truck ploughs into the side of the car, and your leg is broken in the crash. Thankfully, that’s the worse injuries you sustain, but it’s time to run! Word war for 10 minutes to escape the zombies chasing you! If you lose, you’re eaten… but that’s okay, you’ll just respawn back at the car, and you can try again.

Tommy is left behind the hold them off. Don’t look back! Sprint for 5 minutes without touching backspace to get away from the zombies following you into the woods.

Oh thank heavens! A soldier appears and shoots the zombies on just as you’re about to get caught! You appeal to him for help, but… something’s wrong.

“Listen, buddy, we’ve just been through hell…”

Write a tense 100 words as Joel tries to reason with the soldier.

But we know how it ends. Write a loss into the story. The sort of loss that changes the other characters involved.

Chapter 1 - The Quarantine Zone

20 years later. We’re Joel, now. And we’re not doing well.

We wake to Tess returning from a job she should have taken us along for – word war for 5 minutes as you argue with her . Turns out everything went fine… and she has a lead on Robert, the former friend who screwed you over. Let’s go see him. Yep, right now.

Optional: world-build for 10 minutes while you stop and listen to the residents talk about like in the zone, then sprint for 1 minute as you move along and ignore the public executions.

You head to the checkpoint and write a casual 50 words as you make your excuses for travel, but BOOM! It seems the Fireflies have other ideas. Write an explosion into your story. Tess knows her way around, though. Write 300 words as you follow her through another more discreet route.

Hold up – spores. Turn on your flashlight and don your mask, things are about to get spooky. Crouch, creep, and crawl through and zombie-spore infested tunnel, past the rotting corpse and collapsing chunks of ceiling, until you come to- oh, god. He’s still alive. Write for 5 minutes to move on, or include an act of mercy in your story to put the poor guy out of his misery.

Time for your first combat! Either word war for 5 minutes to sneak up on the runners and stealth kill them before they know you’re there, or attempt a 50 headed hydra to go in guns blazing. It’s only a couple of runners, and Tess is with you, so you’re okay even if you lose – Tess bails your butt out, is all.

Optional: Include a tragic conversation between siblings as you pick up a heartbreaking letter from one man to his brother.

Ahh, finally, some fresh air. You’re out and can breathe easy again. Well, easier, anyway. Write 100 words to follow Tess, word war for 5 minutes to try and puzzle out the gap you need to cross (if you lose, write for 5 more minutes as the game system helps you out), then write another 200 words or include a dog in your story to – you guessed it – follow Tess a bit more.

As if zombies weren’t bad enough, now there’s humans shooting at us too. Word war for 15 minutes to fight Robert’s cronies (if you lose, just respawn and try again), and finally we’re ready to confront the man himself. We just wanna talk, honest. Sprint for 10 minutes to catch the S.O.B, and then take a break through a cutscene while Tess takes care of business.

Seems Queen Firefly has a proposition for you – your stolen guns in exchange for something smuggled out of the city. But first, write at your own pace for 30 minutes to sneak and past all those stinking soldiers, or word war for 15 minutes to go for a more murderous approach (as always, respawn and try again if you fail).

Once done, we’re at Marlene’s mini base, and relative safely, scared kids not with standing. Sprint for 1 minute to fend off your short attacker, before Marlene calms things down and introduces you to the cargo you’ll be smuggling – Ellie. Write for 5 minutes as she briefs you on the plan, and move on. In no time at all, you’re back at your hide-out, killing time.

Your watch is broken.

Optional: Have a character kill time or take a nap, or include a dream sequence in your story.

Chapter 2 – The Outskirts

Tess is back. Let’s do it.

Write for 50 words to follow Tess once more, then sprint for 3 minutes to power up the generator and head downstairs. You sneak outside as carefully as you can, but the minute you’re out there, you’re forced to your knees by soldiers and their guns! Ellie provides an opportunity to fight, sprint for 5 minutes to take the soldiers out, and learn something shocking about your ‘cargo.’

Before the revelation of Ellie’s immunity can sink in, more soldiers arrive. This time there’s no chance in direct confrontation – sneaking is your only option. Write for 30 minutes at your own pace to sneak past all those flashlights.

Optional: Make it rain in your book.

Once you’re safe again, you stop to catch your breath and discuss the recent revelation in your situation. Word war for 5 minutes to argue with Tess about what the hell, and what if. Ultimately though, as always, you’re following Tess once more. Write another 100 words to start out towards the Capitol building.

Great. Clickers. Grotesque creatures with fungal growth out of their faces, forming armour of a sort but making them completely blind – they can only ‘see’ through echo-location. Write 100 words as quietly as you can to try and avoid it.

And get jumpscared by it anyway. Damned Clickers! Sprint for 1 minute to try and not die, then take a short break , maybe stretch or get a drink, while you wait for your heart rate to come back down.

Optional: You’ll get some peace to loot and explore, take a few minutes to research or organize your notes if you need it.

Naturally the peace doesn’t last, before you know it you’re dragging furniture around and climbing around old scaffolding. If you don’t fall to your death, next you’ll be jumping down into a good sized group of runners and clickers. Again you have the option of writing at your own pace for 15 minutes or attempting a 50 headed hydra to stealth-kill or frontal-attack the zombies.

After that it’s down, down, down, and through here, into an old subway station. At least you pick up molotovs from the dead Firefly you find, that’ll make the next round of pain-in-the-butt zombies a bit easier to deal with. Sprint for 5 minutes three times as you try to defeat the room, die, try again, die again, and finally get it on the third try. This bit’s short, but annoying. At least there’s fire.

Optional: Boom! Blow something up or set fire to something in your story.

After this it’s up and out, you’re back outside but of course, there’s still zombies. Write for 15 minutes at your own pace to explore, loot, and take out the odd straggler, then it’s back to following Tess for a minute. She leads you to a garage, which you need your big strong man muscles to open by pulling on a chain. A very noise chain. A very noisy chain that- oh, yeah, the undead heard from a mile away. Quick, double time! Sprint for a minute to get the door open as quick as you can and get in safely.

Into the old museum you go, write 100 words as you chill, loot, and look around, or go get a drink and/or snack if you need one, this is a good time for it because of course, it doesn’t last long. Attempt a 50 headed hydra to lift that rickety looking rubble, and get separated from Tess and Ellie when you inevitably fail and it falls between you. (If you succeed, congrats, have a cookie, 'cause the rubble falls anyway, 'cause plot. Write an obvious “because the plot demands it” moment into your novel.)

Write for 10 minutes to sneak, creep, and get past the creepers, then make your way up the stairs and sprint 50 words to murder the runner trying to break in to get at the ladies. Word war for 5 minutes to a short but intense fight, respawning and trying again if necessary until you win.

Optional: Have a character hide an injury, or include an epic view.

You arrive at the rendezvous point, but it’s just tragedy after tragedy. Write a frantic 100 words as you discover the dead fireflies, then sprint 250 words as you discover Tess has been bitten, and finally, attempt a 50 headed hydra to run away from the soldiers hot on your tail (if you lose, that’s okay – Tess has your back, and goes out like a god damned hero. No respawn needed).

Optional: Include a morality debate between two characters , or a moment where a character encourages another to be more than they are. Hell, light a candle, even. Just something In Tess’s honour and memory.

Write to the next 500 words to fight your way out and into the tunnels below. Turns out it’s flooded, though. And, uh, Ellie can’t swim. Write for an extra 5 minutes while you find a palette for her and drag her across the water safely.

Finally outside, you can breathe fresh air again. Write 100 words to lay down some rules, and plod through a lengthy 1 hour writing session to music (naturally I recommend THE LAST OF US Ambient Music & Ambience 🎵 Post Apocalyptic Peace (The Last of Us OST | Soundtrack) - YouTube) to make your way to Lincoln, and a fella who owes you some favours.

Optional: Have characters butt heads over the rules , or otherwise fight for control over each other and their situation. Alternatively, include an elephant in the room and have the characters decidedly NOT address it.

Chapter 3 – Bill’s Town

You finally reach Lincoln after your awful long trek. Maybe here you can find a car. Write for 10 more minutes as you look for Bill.

Optional: Include fireflies in your story, or have someone whistle.

It takes a while and there’s a fair bit of fighting – word war for 5 minutes (respawn and try again if you lose) as you battle your way through the clickers roaming the empty town, or write at your own pace for 10 minutes to take it slow and cautious. You can also choose to write for up to 30 minutes at your own pace to loot the empty buildings, but that’s not mandatory.

BOOM! Thankfully it was a clicker who set off the trap, not you. Be honest, how did you respond? If you froze, write a relaxed 100 words to get yourself moving again. If you panicked and emptied a clip into the explosion, take a short break to calm down and reload. If you ran the other way, sprint for 5 minutes before realizing you’re not being chased.

Optional: Include a character or action that’s “a bit paranoid, maybe?” or improve a character’s archery skill.

Spend another chill 10 minutes writing while you loot, puzzle, and pick up a shiny new wooden weapon, then word war another 5 minutes or write for 10 minutes at your own pace to take out the rest of the clickers between you and Bill.

Well, between you and Bill’s traps, anyway. Looks like you’ll be hanging around for a while! Attempt a 50 headed hydra as a swarm comes for you. If you succeed, well done! You did it first try. If you fail, that’s okay, sprint another 5 minutes . Are you at 500 words yet? If so, you did it! If not, do another 5 minute sprint . Repeat until you’re at 500 words, at which point Ellie FINALLY cuts you down. I looks like you’re about to get eaten anyway, but Bill shows up at the last minute to rescue you! Sprint for 5 minutes to get the hell out of there.

Optional: Include a set of handcuffs , a fist fight between allies , or a character who takes absolutely no crap. Not going to lie, I love Ellie sassing Bill.

You’re back at the relative safety of Bill’s hideout. Take a break through the cut scene while everyone hashes out the whole car plan, then write 100 words while you restock, heal, upgrade, general do any post-fight stuff you need to do, then it’s off for another 10 minutes writing at your own pace to get more weapons and prepare for a length fight through the rough side of town. Take another short break for another cutscene and resupply, and get ready.

Word war for 10 minutes, respawning as necessary, or write for 20 minutes at your own pace to fight your way through the overrun… what is that, a park? A cemetery? Whatever it is, fight your way through it. Then you’re into the neighbourhood and the overrun roads and gardens, so it’s another 10 minute word war or 20 minutes at your own pace to fight your way through. Through the house to resupply and catch your breath, then all hell breaks loose for one final push to the school – another 10 minute word war or 20 minutes at your own pace depending on your play style, then sprint 500 words in 5 minutes as the hoards of hell unleash on you. If you fail, sprint 400 words in 5 minutes to try again, if you still don’t make it, sprint 300 words instead, and so on until you either write 100 words in 5 minutes successfully of it’s reduced to a 0 word goal.

Optional: Include a park or cemetery (or whatever it is) in your story.

You’d think that would be it, but no – the god damn truck is empty! Someone else has stolen your battery, and there’s clickers bashing at the barely barricaded door! Sprint for 5 minutes to get anywhere but here.

You escape from the charging mini-hoard, but we’re still in the bad side of town here so come on, there’s going to be more. Not too many more, thankfully, but more none the less. Write for 15 minutes at your own pace or word war for 10 minutes (respawn if you lose, naturally) to fight your way through the classrooms and into the gymnasium.

Optional: Have a character “jump out of the frying pan, into the fire so to speak, or have a scene take place in a gymnasium.

If you’ve played the game, you know what’s waiting for us as we leave the school – a gym full of boss fight, that’s what! Sprint to the nearest thousand to kill the bloater!

Phew, it’s over. Let’s just climb up the bleachers and- oh, no, wait, it’s not over. Crap. Sprint another 250 words – one for each runner now pouring into the gym to nom you. Okay, NOW it’s over, but not for long! Sprint 1 minute to finally climb the bleachers, and take a breath, but you only get a second because you’re sitting ducks out here! Sprint for another 5 minutes to rush to the ladder and into the actual safety of the secured house. Word war for 5 minutes or have your characters engage in a brief but intense argument while you yell at a grumpy Bill for brining Tess into it.

Optional: Have your characters make an unexpected and/or sinister discovery, have a character come out as gay, and/or include a suicide. Bonus points if you include more than one, more bonus points if you do so without killing your gay characters.

Time for plan B! Thankfully Ellie already found it. Take a break and then write for 10 minutes if you choose to explore the house, then include a decision in your story as you deliberate over whether or not you should show Bill the note you just found. Otherwise, or when you’re done, it’s time to hop into the truck and move on.

Puuuuuuush your way to 100 words as Ellie starts the truck. It doesn’t want to work right away, but that’s okay, we’ll just give it another- oh dangit, here come the zombies. Sprint for 1 minute to fight them off, and write another 200 words as you push the truck again. More walkers! Sprint another 2 minutes to fight them, and push through another 300 words to get the truck moving. Almost there! Another 3 minute sprint and 400 words to get her going. The truck’s finally running, but that means the infected hear it too. Sprint 5 minutes to get to the truck before a clicker gets you!

Drop a cantankerous Bill off at his place, take his cheerful parting words and a helpful parting gift, offer him some unwanted words of comfort, and assure him that all debts between you are repaid. Now get the ^^^^ out of his town.

Optional: Include a pickup truck in your story. Or a comic book lifted from Bill . Or a… you know… other kind of book lifted from Bill. Or just include some music.

Take a break or stop for the day and get some sleep, you’re gonna be on the road for a while so now’s a good time for it.

Chapter 4 – Pittsburg

The peace doesn’t last long, though. It never does. A wounded man stumbles into the road in front of you, begging for help. Are you gonna help him?

He ain’t even hurt. If you’ve played the game before, sprint for 5 minutes to drive on before he shoots you. Well, try to, anyway. If you probably would have tried to help him, if you could, write 100 words as you make your attempt, then get shot in the face, respawn, and do your 5 minute sprint to try again.

Attempt a 50 headed hydra as you get shot at, beaten with bats and projectile looters and bricks, and generally beaten all to heck by people intent on killing you good and dead. If you fail to beat the hydra, don’t worry, I’m not sure it’s possible. You get side-swiped by the bus, same as the rest of us, and go crashing into the store. The truck is totalled, but you’re both fine – sprint for 1 minute to get out, quick. If you somehow managed to beat the hydra, congratulations! That’s quite a feat. You’re fast enough to avoid the bus. Write an act of god into your story and skip this whole section as you simply drive on through Pittsburg, picking up Sam and Henry on the way.

Someone’s grabbed Ellie! Word war for 5 minutes to get to her in time. Catch your breath, then word war for 10 minutes or write at your own pace for 20 minutes to fight your way through the one thing scarier than zombies – humans. Write 100 words when you’re done to loot the area and bodies and try and recoup all the ammo you probably just used up.

Optional: Include some “pretty gnarly stuff” in your story. Bonus points if said “stuff” includes a dark revelation about a significant character.

Alright, there’s the bridge, that’s your way out of here. Sprint to for 1 minute to catch up with Ellie, and, if you’d like, sprint 100 words to tell her off, too. She shouldn’t be running off like that. Take a break while you wait for the hunters to move on. Looks like the city is full of these guys, but you’ll get there. Write another 100 words as you explore and loot the empty checkpoint, and tell Ellie how it used to be, back when the outbreak first hit.

Of course it’s not long before you come to more hunters, so keep it down and word war for 15 minutes or write 30 minutes at your own pace, then write 50 words and take a quick break if you need to , then word war for 15 minutes (again) or write for 30 minutes at your own pace (again) to take them all out. This fight is obnoxiously long. Don’t forget if you lose a word war, you respawn and start again.

Optional: Include a pun. Or two. Or ten. If that’s not your style, include a rebellion or at least the aftermath of one. The hunters came from somewhere, after all.

Drop down and write a casual 50 words as you do a tiny bit of looting and catch your breath, or write 250 words and take a break to do some thorough looking and try to explain our weird relationship with food to Ellie.

Of course, there’s more of them. It’s okay though, you don’t think they saw you, you proceed unaccosted… but now there’s more water, and Ellie still can’t swim. Write 100 words as you go looking for a palette and drag her across safely. And yay teamwork, you help her, she helps you. Go encourage another nano member .

Optional: Get a coffee for yourself, or include coffee in your novel in some capacity.

Off you go through the hotel. Write for 15 minutes at your own pace as you puzzle your way up the ladder, loot the area, and generally do your think with your pint sized cargo. Feel free to write for an extra 5 minute if you want, to loot the safe in the area.

Naturally it’s not long before you come across more hunters. Word war for 5 minutes or write for 10 minutes at your own pace to take our the patrol, write 100 words to loot, and then do another 5 minute war or 10 minutes writing to take out the next couple of guys you find. It’s pretty chill here.

Do a little more looting then sprint 1 minute to button-mash the elevator doors open. Carefully step out onto the ledge, hop down onto the elevator roof, and boost Ellie up. Give her a minute to find you something to climb- OH ^^^^!

Oh, ow. That fall hurt, and worse, you’re split from Ellie. Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? Write for 5 minutes to get your bearings.

Optional: Have an elevator, a basement, or a dark pool of water. Have something go wrong there.

Well, looks like you’re screwed. It’s dark, it’s dangerous, it’s full of water, so it’s hard to be quiet, and OF COURSE there are zombies down here. Write for 15 minutes because there’s only really one way you can do this area, but that’s okay, it’s fairly short and simple, aside from being creepy. Speaking of which, feel free to take a break if this area scares you. It scared me the first time too, not gonna lie.

The good news is, you’re out of the creepy basement! The bad news is, a boat load of hunters are waiting for you as soon as you get upstairs. Yay! Word war for 15 minutes or write 30 minutes at your own pace to get through them all. Fight your way through the downstairs, through the dining room, and head up the ladder to-

Oof! That boot to the face hurt, and your back’s not happy about the second fall. No time to catch your breath, though- your attacker has you pinned, and is trying to drown you in a glorified puddle! Sprint a minute to break free, but he gets you again! Sprint 3 minutes to try and get up again. He’s too strong! Things are getting fuzzy, when bang! It’s Ellie!

She really shot the hell out of that guy, huh? Saved your life, even. Poor kid feels sick, it was obviously her first kill, but you’re more worried about the fact that she put herself in danger instead of staying put like you told her too. It’s okay, we all know you’re just freaking out because she could have died, and you’re not okay with that. We all know you’re still not over Sarah. Take a break and calm down, or just push on with another 100 words as you get going.

Optional: Have a character be a jerk. Make them as understandable or unsympathetic as you want, I’m still not sure if I’m mad at Joel. Alternatively, have someone sacrifice something for someone else . We know the only reason Joel’s salty is 'cause he’s distressed about a kid having to kill, especially for him. If you can’t manage that, include a piano.

Push, pull, puzzle, and loot your way through the rest of the hotel and onto the scaffolding before hopping down into another fight. Don’t worry, though, Ellie’s got your back. Sort of. You hope. Normally this section would be a 30 minute word war or 60 minute free-write, but we got Sniper!Ellie backing us up now! Roll 8D20 (google can help you out if you need it). For every roll of 15 to 20, Ellie takes out one of the guys for you – take 5 minutes off of your word war time, or 10 minutes off of your free-write time. For every roll of 11-15, she wounds someone, making your job a bit easier – take 1 minute off of your word war time, or 2 minutes from your free time (round to the nearest 5 minutes if you need to). If you roll any 1s, add 10 minutes because one of the enemies got lost SOMEWHERE in the massive combat map and it takes you ages to find that one last guy.

What’s your new time for this fight? War or sprint for that long.

Bring Ellie on down and hand her something a little more her size. She did good, and she knows you know it.

Optional: Include a gun, a moment of growing up, or a character trying to parent another (whether they’re successful or not is up to you).

Take a break or write for 15 minutes at your own pace to loot the area, then if you’d like, write an optional extra 10 minutes as you remember just how hecking big this area actually is. Sprint for 1 minute to button-mash the garage door open, then write for another 5 minutes as you upgrade your weapons. Look away and take a short break if you didn’t before. If you’ve taken a break recently, you have no choice but to stay and watch the hunters gun down a couple of people, just because they’re there. Have a character witness something horrible, which they cannot intervene in.

Word war for 5 minutes or write for 10 minutes at your own pace as you fight through a couple more guys, then immediately do a series of 4 1-minute sprints to dodge your way down the street without getting shot all full of holes. Finish up with another 10 minute word war or 20 minute write at your pace as you fight your way through another small army.

Phew! Endure and survive. You know… the comic book thing. More looting and recouping, then we’re heading through the streets and up- OH MY GOT WHAT IS THAT?! Sprint 5 minutes, word war 5 minutes, repeat a total of three times , as you alternate between hiding from the gat-truck and fighting off the Hunters.

Okay, NOW we’re going up into a new building. We’re almost there… time to meet some new friends. Take a break for five minutes through the cutscene, then chill and write 100 words at your own pace as you loot the area and generally recover.

Optional: Include a robot, take a toy away from a child, or show someone being over-cautious , to the detriment of someone else.

More combat, but you’re not alone anymore. It’s 10 minutes of word war or a 20 minutes writing at your own pace , but your time is cut in half 'cause now you have Henry helping you out! As long as he’s with you, you won’t be fighting alone – continue reducing combat times by half. If you want and have the inclination, you can reduce combat times to account for Ellie, too – just roll 1D20 for each 5 minutes of word wars or 10 minutes of solo writing, and apply the same rules as above for the results (5/10 minutes off for a result of 16+, 1 or 2 minutes off for a roll of 11-15).

If you need a longer break, say to get food, a drink, to stretch, or to do some chores, go ahead and take that longer break now safe in the den, knowing the kids are playing and relaxing and actually just being kids for ten minutes. You don’t need to worry about them right now.

Did you know the actor who played Henry, Brandon Scott, actually came up with a whole backstory for himself and Sam? It’s “really dark” as he puts it, but yeah – turns out Sam is his half brother, and was conceived in an act of violence against Henry’s mother. Henry’s mother died shortly after Sam was born, leaving Henry to raise his brother, and Henry, being a teenager when Sam was born, had a lot of really terrible thoughts and feelings about his brother. The baby reminded him of what had happened to his mother, and what he lost when he lost her, and he was fully prepared to just abandon the kid and carry on alone after their mother died. But looking at this helpless little baby, he couldn’t punish him for the actions of another person, a terrible person. So Henry decides to take care of his brother, to protect him and love him in spite of his horrible origins, because, just like Ellie, “it has to be for something.” His mother’s suffering and death can’t have been for nothing – it has to be for this little boy.

This might sound like I wandered off on a tangent, but be honest here – did you know that? Even Troy Baker (Joel) didn’t know that until they did an episode of the definitive playthrough of The Last of Us together with Nolan North at the beginning of 2020, and it’s still not in the game wiki for the characters. If you’ve played The Last of Us then you know how dependent Henry becomes on Sam, to the point of becoming irrational when Sam is in danger, and… well, you know how that ends. Like any good story or character, Henry and Sam are like an iceberg – the audience only sees 10%, but that 10% is only authentic because of the 90% under the surface, that only the creators are privvy to.

Optional: Take an hour to really, really think about the character’s backstories and how they influence what the audience sees. And I don’t mean openly having a dump of information – this is the stuff that you should know, but the audience probably never will unless they watch some obscure interview you do some day when you’re rich and famous (or at least famous enough to be in a Nolan North video as a guest). If you’ve already done this for your main character, and you probably have, do it for your favourite secondary character, too. Do it for a random character. Do it for the family dog. Everyone is the MC of their own story.

You’re on the move again so it’s time for a word war for 20 minutes or writing for 40 minutes at your own pace as you, Henry, and the kids fight your way to the bridge and- oh, wait. Umm… scratch that. Henry takes off, but you and Ellie stick together. Henry’s contribution reduces your word war by 5 minutes or your solo writing by 10, but that’s it. You get your Ellie bonus throughout, though (assuming you want to roll for it).

Button mash with a 1 minute sprint as you get away from that dang tank, then word war for another 10 minutes or write for another 20 at your own pace to fight through the rest of the Hunters, then sprint, sprint, sprint for 5 minutes like the devil himself is after you as you try to make it across the bridge and out of the city.

Oh no! The bridge is destroyed, you can’t get out that way, and the Hunters with their death truck is on the way!

Optional: throw your characters into an intense situation they weren’t expecting, then have them argue about how best to get out of it. Bonus points if one of the characters takes the decision into their own hands.

Wow, that was intense. Take a break. Do whatever you need to do. We’re gonna chill on the… let’s call it a beach, for a bit.

Chapter 5 – The Suburbs

I’m not sure how I feel about Henry and his decision, but I mean… he makes a good point. At least we don’t have armoured trucks shooting at us anymore. Write 100 words while you chill and explore the beach and get over Henry’s quote-unquote “betrayal,” then when you’re ready button-mash your way into the sewers with a 1 minute sprint. Write 250 words as you explore. Yeesh, that is a big rat!

Optional: Include whistling , a round of swimming, or a space ship .

Sprint to you favourite song as you find a cool new weapon and get a little excited. Who doesn’t like a shorty? Of course it doesn’t take you long to find more Clickers, but there’s only a couple of them, and you have backup, so sprint for 5 minutes to take them out. Write another 100 words as you explore the area and- GET BACK!

Damn, you must have triggered some kind of safety gate or somethin’, trapping Henry and Ellie on one side, and you and Sam on the other. Button-mash another 1 minute sprint as you try to lift it, but it seems like every Clicker in the sewer system heard that, and are heading for Ellie and Henry. They gotta move! You keep Sam safe.

Word war 10 minutes or write 20 at your own pace to fight your way through the hoard awaiting you, and remember, you’re alone now – no halving it for Henry, no rolling for Ellie. Don’t forget as well that if you lose your word war, you die and need to respawn – it’s been a minute since that was pointed out, so keep it in mind if you’re the direct sort.

Puzzle through another 100 words at your own pace and, if you’re feeling so inclined, take a moment to read up on what happened to the people living here. Include a sacrifice to pay your respects. These people didn’t deserve it. Then it’s back down to meet back up with Ellie and Henry, then sprint 5 minutes to escape the Clickers, then sprint another 5 minutes as you stand and fight.

Phew! Okay, you’re out. Go ahead and write 100 words as you check around the abandoned neighbourhood. Take a break if you want to, it’s a pretty long, relaxed area.

Optional: Set a scene in the suburbs, include a bad dog, a bbq, or include a sniper.

Yep, you know what’s coming. Through the houses and over the Naughty Dog Yellow fence onto the street below. Sprint 10 words to dodge that sniper and make a plan. Of course the plan is basically for you to go find the sniper and take him out by yourself. Because why wouldn’t it be. Sprint to 50 words in 1 minute as you try to dodge the bullets. If you don’t, then sorry, but you’re dead. Respawn and try again (you keep your progress from the last attempt. Basically you’re sprinting 50 words in 2 minutes). Repeat this a total of 3 times, taking breaks or doing editing between each tiny sprint, as you slowly make your way down the road. Then stop for a 5 minute word war as you get jumped by the sniper’s buddies.

Oh, did you think that was it? Heck no, this is one of the most tedious bits of the game. Do another 3 x 50 word sprints , another 5 minute word war , and another 3 sprints as you make your way to the house. The sniper is easy enough to find and take out once you get there, but my goodness he was work to get to. How many times did you die and have to start again? How long did it take you? Took me forever. Button-mash with a 1 minute sprint to get rid of him, then sprint for your favourite song or do your favourite challenge while you cover Henry and the kids as they make their way to you. Oh, oh, that death truck is back? Good. Bring it, buddy. Pow. No more death truck for you.

Optional: Write a scene just for fun even if you know you won’t use it. The MCs nuke the villain 'cause God Says So? Cool. Random sex scene in a PG book? Go for it. Silly silly funny stress relief moment in the middle of the apocalypse? Sounds good to me. Have fun.

Okay, we should move. Oh no! Sam! Henry! S^^^! Sprint 1 minute to get those runners off of them, and sprint another 5 minutes to cover them and rejoin them downstairs. I think it’s time we quit this place. Take a break through the cutscene. I’m not gonna comment on this one. We all know what happens.

Optional: Include peaches, motorcycles, an act of kindness born of defiance, or an incredible tragedy.

Henry and Sam, rest in power, peace, or whatever state you wish for.

Chapter 6 – Tommy’s Dam

Just follow the river – it’ll lead you straight to Tommy’s. Give a character an estranged sibling, then have them walk back in to the character’s life. Keep yourself busy with that one for a bit, 'cause this segment of trying to figure out the dam is tedious as all heck.

Optional: Include a dam, a drowning (lethal or not is up to you), or have a character step on the f^^^ing pallet .

Before you know it it’s another cutscene. It’s a bit early to be taking a break so how about instead you introduce either a new character, or a new location . Write for 15 minutes while you reconnect with your brother, meet his new family, and hear about how old you are now.

Seems they’re dealing with raids. Also seems last year, Tommy went back to Texas. He’s got something for you, but… you’re not ready. He hands you a picture of Sarah, you hand it straight back. Sprint to 100 words as you listen to Tommy tell you all about his town, and try and distract yourself from the memories.

Thankfully you have plot to discuss, but you’re so keen to fob Ellie off that you push to hard and push him away again. Word war for 5 minutes as you hash out your past with your little brother.

Thankfully there’s a conveniently timed bandit attack to distract you both from your feels and posturing. Word war for 15 minutes or sprint for 20 minutes to fend off the attackers.

Take a break and listen to Ellie excitedly tell you all about the parts of the fight you just missed. That girl is so desperate for your approval. You won’t really leave her behind with Tommy, will you? You don’t have any time for her, though – write 50 words to push her away, too.

Okay, Tommy says he’ll do it. His wife isn’t happy, but it’s better this way. Wipe away a tear and tell yourself that again.

Wait. Say that again? Dammit, Ellie’s stolen a horse and taken off on her own. Sprint 5 minutes to follow her, stop for a 5 minute word war (and don’t ask yourself how Ellie got through this ambush alone), then write for 5 minutes at your own pace to follow her tracks the rest of the way to an old, abandoned house. Write 50 words to find her.

Take one of the following prompts , this is not optional: include a significant scene with a journal, write a scene of rejection, force a character to confront something they’re not ready for, or create a sub-plot where a child goes missing.

Get it together, we’re not alone. There’s not that many guys, and you have some solid backup, so word war for 5 minutes or write for 10 minutes at your own pace to get clear.

Well, at least you’re self-aware enough to know you have issues, even if you’re not ready to address them. Somewhere in the short ride back to Jackson, you’ve changed your mind and changed your plan. Tell Ellie to give the horse back to Tommy, and scoot her up behind you on yours. Write 100 words to say goodbye to Tommy and definitely NOT address your feelings with Ellie, and ride off into the sunset.

Optional: Include a tender moment , or a reconciliation .

Chapter 7 – The University

We start in a pretty chill area, so write 250 words at your own pace while you look around, loot, upgrade, and just generally relax and look for the big mirror building. Also, pick up a flame thrower. This weapon is seriously over-powered and makes combat far too easy, but it makes up for it by only having limited ammo. Joel will be able to use it for up to three fights between now and the end of the game. Any time he does so, combat will be reduced by 90% - a 10 minute session becomes 1 minute, a 1 hour sprint becomes 6 minutes, etc. Use them wisely.

It’s not long before you hear runners, so leave Ellie with the horse and go check it out. There’s only a few of them around, so write for 10 minutes or word war for 5 minutes to fight through them and start the generator to bring Ellie and the horse inside safely. Wander around for a few minutes looking for loot and finding nothing but books, books, and more books, then lift the gate and proceed.

Awww, you and Ellie are really getting close, huh? Write to music for 1 hour or have a character sing as you open up to her about how you used to wish you could be a singer. You won’t be singing any time soon though, no siree. She promises not to laugh, but… no. This is enough, for now.

Hop the barbed wire and for the love of all, do not mess with the mess of monkeys. They won’t mess with you though. Aww, seems Ellie’s never seen a monkey. It must feel so limited, having grown up in a small area, without things like the internet and modern libraries to show you the world. Especially knowing so many other, older people who had those things. Write 250 words while you try and find your way around, and use at least some of those words to show a character something they’ve never seen before.

Head down into the dark foggy death pit of nope and write for 20 minutes at your own pace to take out the clickers. No, you don’t have the option to word war. Feel free to attempt a 50 headed hydra though if you insist on a frontal assault. If you win, congrats, otherwise, you’re just gonna have to respawn ant do the 20 minutes.

That done it’s up to the dorm rooms to loot and recoup, so write 100 words, then meet back up with Ellie and open the gate for her and Callus. Head on in together and keep your fingers crossed that infected are so close to the lab because the Fireflies are using them as a form of defence, same as Bill did.

Optional: Include some wishful thinking, a scene of healthy and respectful boundaries, or a scene in a university or similar place of higher education. Or, if you’re feeling ambitious, throw a positive pregnancy test at a young character.

Time for more pushing, pulling, and puzzling, and you’re inside. No matter how much you search and shout, though, you don’t find a single Firefly. Write another 100 words to try and figure out what happened to them. Include a death, a memorial, or a monkey.

Well, at least now you know what happened to them, and where they went. Salt Lake City. It ain’t close… on horseback it’d take…

“What? Fireflies?”

Get down! At least you know where to go. Let’s get out of here. Thankfully, if that’s the word for it, the fight doesn’t last long. Word war for 5 minutes or write for 10 at your own pace before getting jumped coming through a door and slammed into a glass barrier. Spam the button with a 1 minute sprint to fight back, but it doesn’t end well for you. You and your attacker both fall, but you’re the lucky S.O.B who falls onto a metal pole.

Well, the bad guys don’t care that you’re impaled. Either write 1,000 words while a character fights for their life or complete the following set of challenges.

Write a sentence without the letter P as Joel pushes Ellie aside and shoots the first guy who comes at you. Write another sentence without A, either, to shoot the second guy as well. One, two three, pull – god, that hurts. Just get to the damned horse. Write 50 words without either P or A to drag yourself through the window, then write another sentence without the letter I (or the other two) to help Ellie take out the guy she’s flanking. The world is going dark and fuzzy, we gotta get out of here. Write another 50 words without your banned letters to drag yourself into the North Hall. Lose N as well, and write another 100 words as you watch helplessly as Ellie nearly gets killed by two more guys. Lean on her and haul it outside, back onto Callus and away from the university. You don’t make it far, though – write something coming to an end as you fall from the horse and lose consciousness. Rest for as long as you need.

Chapter 8 – Lakeside Resort

We’re Ellie now. Joel’s fate is uncertain. Write 100 words to try and figure out wtf just happened. The brutal death of the cute bunny babbit doesn’t help. But… I mean, you need food. And the rabbit won’t last long.

Bingo, a deer! Write a careful 50 words to sneak up on it and take a shot, then sprint for 1 minute to run after it before it gets away. Repeat this process a total of four times, to follow the deer into a “totally not creepy at all” sort of area where it will fall down dead in a conveniently open area. Here’s the thing though, if you play the game enough times you realise the deer will die even if you never hit it, you just have to startle it four times and follow the prints into a cutscene. So if you want you can skip the whole sneak-sprint process and include a “because the plot demands it” event in your story.

Either way, you have your dinner, and a new encounter – David and Buddy Boy. They seem friendly enough, at least David does. They make a reasonable argument and propose a very fair trade of meat for medicine – your barter item of choice. That’s good, at least, it tells us that Joel’s still alive. That’s good. Write for 5 minutes while you hash it out with David and send Buddy Boy back for the necessary supplies.

Optional: Include a character being standoffish, a character who seems more decent than they are , or a deer.

David tries to make small talk, but you’re having none of it. Not to worry though, a Clicker interrupts his awkward attempts. Sprint for to 500 words to fight the zombies off and keep them away from the deer, then sprint another 5 minutes to run for it – they’re not stopping!

Oof! The damned platform fell out from under you, and of course there are clickers around to hear the sounds of you crashing. Get out of there! Thankfully David’s up above with a gun to cover your sounds, that’s something. Time to be sneaky – write 250 words at your own pace, and edit as you go to carefully, carefully work your way through the clickers and back to David.

Then it’s up to the platform above, seeking the ladder to help David get up too. Write 100 words or take a break if you need it, while you resupply, heal, make what you need to make, you know the drill. Can’t rest for too long, though - we gotta get out of here!

Before you know it you’re trapped in another onslaught. Sprint another 100 words to fight this mini hoard off, too. Dammit, it’s coming in waves! Sprint another 200 words to fight off the second wave, then sprint another 200 words and- s^^t! Is that a bloater?! Sprint to the nearest 1,000 words to kill that guy too!

Wow, that was intense, but you made it. Now, let’s head on back, check on that buck of yours.

Thankfully it’s still there, and there’s no more walkers around. You can take a break, warm up, relax. Not that you’re letting your guard down. You’re smart – you know you got lucky, that’s all.

“Lucky?” asks David incredulously. “No such thing as luck.” Everything happens for a reason. See a few weeks ago, David sent out some men. Only a few came back. They say the others were slaughtered, by a mad man. A mad man travelling with a little girl. You see? Everything happens for a reason.

Optional: Include a threat, resolve it, and reveal an even bigger threat underneath. Bloaters don’t make my skin crawl the way David does. Alternatively, reveal one of the protagonists to actually be an antagonist , even if you hadn’t originally planned to do so.

Sprint for 5 minutes to get the hell out of there.

It doesn’t take you long to get back to Joel. He’s still alive, thank goodness, but not looking well – his wound is badly infected and not healing properly, because of it. Still, he’s lucky – an untreated gut wound like that, and he’s survived this long? Dang. Have a character flex their plot armour or include a tender moment as you curl up with Joel for a rest.

Oh no. They tracked you! Sprint for 5 minutes to get to the horse and RUN! Sadly you don’t get far before a sniper takes Callus out. No time to mourn – they’re still right on you. Word war for 10 minutes or write for 20 minutes at your own pace to try and fight your way out. Include an animal death or write someone taking a blow to the head as David finds you and takes you out. Take a break, get a drink, put dinner on, etc while you listen to David McCreeps-a-Lot tell you how special you are.

Optional: Include a murder , someone eating something repulsive , or a delicious venison dish . Fun aside, did you know the actor who plays David genuinely doesn’t think David was being pervy with Ellie, he just respects her as an equal? I can’t tell if that makes him adorably sweet and innocent, or insanely creepy. Give a character this trait.

Finally, we’re back to Joel. No disrespect to Ellie, but I missed the arsenal. Write 100 words to orient ourselves. Now, let’s go save our girl.

Word war for 5 minutes or sprint for 10 minutes to fight off the stragglers and get yourself some informants. Include a scene where the good guys and the bad guys have a “conversation.” Define that however you wish.

Back to Ellie for a wee moment, sprint 1 minute to try and break free from David and his buddy. When that doesn’t work, sprint 250 words or have a character use charisma to get them out of danger while you tell them you’re infected. And now so are they. Take advantage of their distraction to grab their weapon and turn it on them, then sprint for 1 minute to run for your life.

Our into the snow, lost and surrounded. Word war for 15 minutes or write for 30 minutes at your own pace to work your way through the town to the apparent warmth and safety of the old restaurant. But of course it’s not all as it seems – just as you’re sneaking back out, you get grabbed by our favourite love-to-hate David and shoved back in. Apparently you’re easy to track.

Well, time for a boss fight. Sprint to the nearest hundred , then include a knife injury of some sort to stab David in the shoulder. Then it gets real. Sprint to the nearest 1,000 to sneak all around the restaurant and avoid taking a machete to the face, then include a moment with a character you really wish you could hit in the face with said machete. Sprint to the next 1,000 words again, and then have your scene or chapter end on a cliffhanger, cutting away as it looks like all hope is lost for your characters.

Back to Joel as he re-traces Ellie’s steps. Word war for the same 15 minutes or write the same 30 minutes at your own pace to fight your way through the town to the same restaurant where Ellie and David are fighting.

Cut back to the two of them and resolve your cliffhanger while David dies of hubris. Take a break if you feel the need.

Optional: If you’ve included any tender moment at any time in your story, you now have the chance to mirror that moment here to show character development (and cash in some easy words, of course).

Chapter 9 – Bus Depot

Optional: Include a deer , have a scene take place in spring , or have characters reminisce .

You’ve reached the exit, this is where you get off. You’re almost at the exit. Write 100 words as you fondly tell Ellie about your life before. She’s not paying much attention, though – something must be on her mind.

Look at that. Another city, another abandoned quarantine zone. You head into a hotel to cut through, but Ellie’s still quiet, and lagging behind. Something’s really bothering her, huh? She’s fine though, honest. Write a frustrated 100 words as you try and get her to talk.

Oh my god! You gotta see this! Sprint 1 minute to pick up the ladder and hurry after her.

Optional: Include a giraffe , a sweet but very random moment , or an incredible view.

Every sweet moment has to end, especially in this game. Or does it? You have options – you could go back to Tommy’s. But after all of it, everything you’ve done? Write 250 words to talk about that. But no. There’s no half way here. It can’t be for nothing.

Wow, the triage brings back memories. Write 100 words to share some painful memories. It’s good to talk about it, at last.

Optional: Include an emotionally charged picture.

This time it’s gonna be different, you just know it. This time, the Fireflies are gonna be there. Head down into the deep dark tunnels that I’m sure aren’t filled with death. I hope you still have your flamethrower – remember, that can reduce combat by 90%, but you can only use it three times in total.

I mention this because these tunnels are either pure hell, or great fun, depending on how well stocked your flamethrower is. The first fight isn’t too bad, just a bloater and some runners – sprint to the nearest 1,000 words to take them out. Alternatively, write for 15 minutes at your own pace in complete silence to kill the runners and the sneak past the bloater. Roll a D6 – on a 1, he hears you anyway and you still have to sprint to the nearest 1,000 words .

The next fight further along, though, oh man. I lost track of what was in that battle. Clickers, runners, even more bloaters… yes, bloaters plural. You CAN sneak through this one, but you’ll have to write to the nearest 500 words without any vowels to do so. Otherwise, s print 2,000 words , word war for 1 hour , or write at your own pace for 2 hours – the choice is yours. Obviously with a flamethrower this gets a lot easier – 200 words, a 10 minute war, or your own pace for 20 minutes. Did you save it?

However you get through, you can rest easy knowing you’re almost there. Just one more mini-hoard to get through! Even more bloaters, and enough clickers and runners to start a football team AND a band! There’s no sneaking through this one – you must fight! Sprint 3,000 words or word war for 2 hours. If you’re feeling confident you can try to blast through with 1,000 words in 15 minutes but if you fail, you respawn and have to thy again. Do you still have your flamethrower?

Okay, we’re good. They can’t reach us now. But oh, hey, water. And it looks pretty deep. You know the routine, just write 100 words to chill, swim around, and find a palette for Ellie. Or, in this case, a ladder. It’s okay though, there’s a shallow path from there. Ah, and then another jammed door.

Be honest, did you see it the first time you played, or did you just go ahead and boost Ellie in, and then get scared half to death by the casually concealed clicker? If you saw it, write 100 words to shoot it now. Otherwise, boost Ellie in and sprint for 5 minutes as you have a minor heart attack and she fights for her life.

Another workbench, more water, more pallets, more ladders… write a chill 250 words to puzzle your way through.

Optional: Include something familiar and comforting or something repetitive and boring depending on how you feel about these sections.

You’re so close. Best for you to go ahead, and have Ellie follow your lead. Especially since that’s some pretty fast-moving water. Sprint for 1 minute to hop across the debris, then write 100 words to beckon Ellie over, and catch her as promised. See? She didn’t even need you.

Oh no.

Ellie, Ellie move! Sprint for 1 minute to try and get off the bus before it’s too late, but of course you can’t. It goes and you go with it. Sprint 100 words to try and grab the platform. Sprint another 100 words to try and hold on to the bar. It’s no good, you’re completely at the mercy of the water. The bus is flooding fast and you have no idea where you are or where you’re going – sprint another 100 words to try and clamber your way up and out the way you came in, fighting against the water towards freedom.

It breaks, and the water has you pinned. It seems helpless, but oh! There’s Ellie, champion that she is. She leaps onto the bus doors and smashes against them, desperate to save you. Sprint for 1 minute to button-mash the door open- YES you’ve got it! But just as you’re about to climb out, the bus hits something, freeing you but sending Ellie tumbling into the raging water. She’s swept away, out of sight.

Sprint 5 minutes to spot her, laying limp in the water up ahead.

Optional: Include a drowning , have a character perform CPR, or have someone get cold-cocked.

Chapter 10 – The Firefly Lab

Welcome to the Fireflies.

You’ve come all this way, carried by Ellie. It was all her. She fought like hell to get here. Maybe it was meant to be.

Where is she?

If you need a break, take it now. We all know what’s coming.

“March him out of here. If he tries anything, shoot him.”

“Don’t waste this gift, Joel.”

Write 100 words at your own pace to get up and calmly head out, then sprint another 100 as it all takes a turn.

Optional: Write a short but brutal scene – anything of your choosing.

Grab your pack and run for cover. This hole (grated, short) chapter is basically one big fight – word war for 30 minutes or write for 1 hour at your own pace to fight your way to Ellie through a literal army of Fireflies. Try not to think too much about the fact that you’re literally wiping out the people trying to fix the world.

Fight your way to the famous red door and the Firefly symbol. Shoot the largely unarmed doctor in the face because you can’t do anything else. Be honest, did you kill the other one too? Write 50 words for each person you kill.

It doesn’t matter. You go her. Sprint for 10 minutes to dodge bullets and get her out.

Optional: Have a good character make a selfish choice , have a character plead their case , or have someone decide at the last minute to do the right thing , in spite of the fact that Joel, arguably, doesn’t.

Write 100 words to lie to Ellie. Hope she’ll be okay.

Epilogue – Jackson

Well, looks like we’re walking. You’re feeling your age now, but it’s alright – the music is relaxed, the scenery is beautiful, and you’re almost back at Jackson City. It’s clear that the story is over, at least for now, and you’re in the same home-stretch of the story. Write at your own pace for as long as you want while you yourself wind down and enjoy the scenery. It really is a beautiful game.

It’s sweet. Joel talks openly about his daughter at last, in spite of the lack of prompting and comfort from Ellie, but like her, we feel… not right. Even if you agree with his choice, you can’t argue that it’s a good one situation. Ellie certainly doesn’t feel good about things. Or about him.

Optional: Have your main character make a divisive choice , include childhood friends , or write a hike.

Write for 5 minutes as Ellie tells you about Riley. Sort-of listen to her, try and make her feel better, but miss the mark. You don’t understand. Write another 100 words to lie to Ellie once more. Tell yourself again that it’ll be okay. I’m sure it won’t come back to bite you in the sequel. Write to this track The Last of Us Ending Theme - YouTube (The Last of Us end credits song) to finish your journey.

#multiple parts #word crawl #word crawls #long #extreme crawls #(just for the length)#the last of us #the last of us crawl

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nyx-night-demon · 1 year ago

Text

Hi!! So I though I would say this before I come on here and you know like do anything and say I am a wattpad story writer so ima be posting stories here and on wattpad but here is my @

Wattpad:UAs_MurderDrone

START OF MY STORY IS A NOTE

Okay so this is because i see so man and i'm kinda into Batman x Joker .

In case you were wondering Joker is going o be he one from suicide squad and so is Harley.

Batman is going to be the one from The Dark Night.... I think that's the one lol anyway , You may be asking why Harley is even in his and my answer is she is in he book because she is going to be joker's therapist again but instead of Joker corrupting her she becomes a hero or she continues being a therapist i haven't decided yet but i'm going for her being a hero with batman and you side with Joker .

I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS BECAUSE ILL EB POSTING EVERYDAY BTW BEFORE ANY ONE SHOTS BACKSTORY AND AN ACTUAL LIKE BOOK TO GO WITH IT AND THEN WE'LL DO ONE SHOTS.

I LOVE WHOEVEr READS M CRINGEY SHIT I DO APPRECIATE YOU

ALSO PUT IDEAS HERE

THERE WILL ALSO BE SMUT IN THE CHAPTER AFTER BACKSTORY.

OKAY NOW ENJOY💚💜🖤❤️🤍

◑ω◐

CHAPTER ONE:

SAID I WAS DOING B A C K S T O R Y ' S lol so here it is

We all know batman's B A C K S T O R Y and JOKERS so rlly is just you(Myra) & Harley.

Btw the club La Gatita Amable Will be known as JOKERS CLUB

ANYWAY LETS GET IT

¥/ñ ßÄÇK§†ÖR¥¥¥:

"Goodnight mom" I Called "Goodnight darling" My mother called back. I was not going to bed I was ready to head to a club. Joker's club. I got in my sexist oufit because joker didn't pay me 300$ every night for me to serve him and the rest of the Suicide Squad food. I was their personal stripper. As soon as I got to the club Joker approached me stoking my face gently "Your late Kitten" His voice was soft but also a little bit raspy. "I'm sorry Sir. It won't happen again." I Replied Joker walked behind me and wrapped his hands around her neck. "I love the outfit Kitten but I got out a better one in the back hurry up and get changed Daddy wants to see you in it okay" He said his voice in my ear while I blush and agree. Once I walk out deadshot throws his cash on the floor by the pole as I wrapped my legs around it putting my hands on the bottom of it.

†𝙸𝙼𝙴 𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙿 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄† 𝙰𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙻𝙰†𝙴𝚁

I was naked at this point dancing on Joker as he requested. "Just like that kitten" Joker whispers while running his hands down the sides of my body Stopping once he got to my hips. Spoon after I heard my phone ring and it was police the phone said the words "Miss.Phelps?" "Yes that is me. Who is this?" I answered nervously "Well this is the police department. Your mother and father woke up to find you not in your bed so they went out to look for you.... And in the process of that A drunk driver hit your parents killing them....." No words were spoken for 10 minutes "O-Oh uhm I actually left for work.." I replied showing no emotion at all Joker stared at Me thinking I might be as psycho as him. " And where is your job ma'am? And the job you have there." The police officer asked kindly "I- uhm well I word at club La Gatita Amable as a stripper...." I blushed as I said this because my shift was over and I was in my black lace panties and black lace bra when he had called and Joker came up behind me moving his hand down my body again. "Okay Ma'am well would you like to talk to someone about the funeral planning?" The man asked quickly "Uhm no not at the moment....... thank you, sir Have a nice rest of your day." I hung up before he could say anything back. I turned around towards Joker as he towers over me. i look up at him and smile

†𝙸𝙼𝙴 𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙿 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄† 𝟺 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙺𝚂 𝙻𝙰†𝙴𝚁

It's had been 4 weeks since my parents died and I had no emotional hurt. No sympathy. Nothing. Not even remorse. "Kitten!" Joker called "Yes sir?" I replied in the back removing my bra. Once Joker walked he stared at m naked body for several minutes. "Y'know you could join me Myra." He whispered quickly "Join you in wha sir?" I replied turning around "KILLING BATMAN AND ANYONE ELSE WHO GES IN OUR WAY!!" Joker grabbed my face pushing it up. "It's batman's fault my parents are dead..... THAT STUPID FUCK!" I scream "Come. You can be my New Partner Kitten." He smiled and I agreed. I got dressed in my Stripper outfit and that was the day I became We. Joker The clown Prince of crime and Priya Noxious The Queen of death.

HARLEYS IS KINDA SHORTS SORRY

Hårlêêñ £råñ¢ï§ Qµïññ'§ ßå¢k§†ðr¥ ñðw LÖL

My names Harleen Francis Quinn Or Harley Quinn I'm Joker's therapist or psychiatrist whatever you want to call it. "Are you ready to see Joker ma'am?" The guard holding Joker said "Mhm send him in" I called back "Hello~" Joker said "Hi wanna talk this time or ramble on about Arkham prison?" I said smiling "Uuhhhh I don't know Lets talk Quinn..." Joker mumbled while secretly unlocking his handcuffs. Batman knew Joker was with Harley so he stood outside on the ledge by the window waiting. "Well how have you been since you have gotten out of Arkham" She said writing. "JUST GREAT" Joker screamed frading me by my throat When batman smashed through the window "Joker i should've known you would try to pull something like this..." Batman's voice was raspy and deep "Aww batsy how nice of you to join us." Joker held my neck harder. "B-Batman P-please Help M-me" I managed to say while feeling my breath shortened. Batman threw his batarang and the jokers head knocking him out letting me breath "Thank you batman" I say breathlessly "Your good bate" He replied smiling helping me up "Let me work with you.." I said breathing heavily "No I work alone" It took moths of begging for him to finally let me train and fight at his side I turned into we. Batman the dark knight and Hero Harley.

OMG I COULD NOT THINK OF A NAME FoR HER OMFG LOL HERO HARLEY IF YOU WATCH DC YK WERE I GOT THAT NAME FROM ;)

CHAPTER 2:

OKAY SO THIS IS LIKE HOW SHIT GOES DOWN I GUESS IMA THINK ABOUT WHAT TO WRIGHT BECAUSE YK 🥲

Jokers POV

"Love when we're gonna go through with our plan?" Myra whispered as she sat next to me in our room "I don't fucking think we got his god damn attention." myra continued "I know darling I don't fucking understand why.....Dose he not love it anymore? I need to find another villain myra. Someone to help us out! The riddler? Oo or maybe the Penguin!" I ranted on

"okay I can get whichever one you want love~" Myra said laying down pulling my face into a kiss. We kissed for about 20 minutes then I got on top of her. "You really are a naughty girl." I say smiling "You must be a real naughty boy then too baby."

She laughed and kissed me again. I stopped and got up. "Baby whats wrong?" She frowned " I don't know i want his fucking attention so bad.... I think i'm an attention whore. I only want HIS attention though." I mumbled

"I got it, i'll get Penguin and The Riddler and we can make a truce and uh pay the price..." Myra moaned "As long as they get here, and you do what you can for me baby I wont be mad." I smile at her "Good I love you Joker" Myra smiled "I love you too darling."

Okay so Penguin and The Riddler are both from the netflix series Gotham.

Myra's POV

I left the hideout to look for Penguin first. I know his hideout is near the steel mill. It's a very cold gambling room of this abandoned zoo.

I walked in to see batman on his way. I know Batman knows I'm there so why think of hiding. I just walked behind him until he turned around

"What are YOU doing here Priya" He mumbled grabbing my face slightly " Nothing that you need to know making Joker all sad." I rolled my eyes "Joker? Sad? About me? No way." batman said laughing a bit

"Well i'm serious BATSY." I stared at him "I'm leaving for Penguin. Soooo bye" I pushed past him making my way to the place. wait- Priya.... are you really being serious?" "Yes i am Batty." He looked down, mumbled something and left.

10 Minutes Later

"Myra? Is that you..." Penguin grinned "The One and Only Oswald." I replied "Joker need ASSISTANCE again?"

He asked as he put his hand on my face. "Mhm. I can pay the price this time he said so." I smiled "Good.. I'm guessing you might need the riddler too."

"Yes i do." I replied "Hmm alright i was just going that way so i'll join you" He smile brightly planting a kiss on my forehead.

About 16 minutes later I found the riddler "Hello there darling and My dearest friend Oswald." The riddler cooed

"I assume Joker needs assistance once again." He laughed "Yes he dose. I can pay the price this time." I smiled devilishly

"Well them time to pay the price."

Batman Pov

Joker being sad....about me? There is no way. I went to the steel mill to visit joker. After Priya pushed past me to see Penguin "Fuck. Batman is getting on mother fucking nerves. He won't answer. FUCK!" He went on knocking his stuff down.

"Joker" I said feeling a little bad "B-Batsy?" I walked to him and sat down next to him on his bed. "You really missed me hu." I said looking at the floor

"of course i did Batsy. I-I.." He was blushing when I looked up. I smiled at the sight. I went to get up and leave when I felt a soft yet chilling pair of lips on mine. I looked down to see the Jokers face and mine together as he tried to invade my mouth with his tongue. He pulled away and laughed at my confused face.

" Joker what are y-" I got in before he kissed me again but this time I gave in to the kiss. But I pulled away and left the steel mill. I have to tell alfred o-or maybe Priya.....

Myra's Pov

"S-shit" I whined underneath the penguin "shh darling" he smirked thrusting into me faster

About an hour later he asked "Do you want me to stop?" Oswald asked breathlessly as he pounded into me. No' I whimpered because I didn't want him to stop. His answer surprised me and I bit my lip to keep from screaming 'yes' as loud as I wanted to.

"Do you want me to stop?" he repeated and I glared at him trying to make him see how much I hated that question.

"No you bastard! Keep going!" I screamed throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing my thighs around his to make sure he knew I wanted him to fuck me hard.

Oswald didn't stop as I asked. He kept thrusting into me and I felt my pussy become more and more wet. My body was responding to his every thrust and I felt myself cumming again and again.

I heard myself scream 'Faster daddy!Faster! Please fuck me harder!' as my body tightened around his and I felt my pussy clench around his cock. Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!'' I groaned as I felt a climax build inside me. It was going to be a big one this time I could tell.Myra! Oh fuck! oswald moaned as he stated to cum

"Fuck" he grunted as I felt his hot stringy semen shoot deep inside of me. 'Your good at this now it time for the riddler to fuck you.'

Edward smashed his face into mine while he removed he shirt and pants. He pulled his boxers down quickly. Soon he plowed into my ass as i whined under him. While he pounded me he planted kisses on my neck. I had to fight back the urge to scream.

Edward was so much more aggressive than Oswald. His kisses were so hot and so deep that it made me feel sick. "You Little slut." He whispered as he pressed me down onto the mattress harder while I hold back moans. "You like that dont you." He said. As he pressed down more, my hands were pulled to my sides. My arms were pinned to a crossbar .

As Edward continued to pound my back, I began to scream. He was pounding so hard that my head began spinning. When I finally came to, Edward had me spread out on the bed. With my face being pushed down with my body and my eyes staring up at him I begged him to continue, he said "I love it when you beg."

I was whimpering as I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. As I looked up, his eyes were on me with a smirk on his lips. He then grabbed my head and pulled my hair back with his hand. While that happened he pounded my ass even harder with his cock hitting my g-spot each time . I started screaming and pleading with him, his other hand was on the back of my neck and he began pulling my lips to his.

His hand moved up and down my body as his fingers moved to find my sensitive nipples . My legs were still pinned and I couldn't move. When he found them I started screaming, he pounded faster and harder. As he played with my sensitive nipple, the room started to spin and the ceiling started falling. All the lights went out and then the world went black.

Edward and oswald were laughing . My eyes popped open and I gasped as my mouth was filled with Edward. "Mm," I moaned as Edward began licking the inside of my mouth. I gave in to the kiss. I whimpered when he cummed so deeply inside me. Then it was all over the price had been payed.

Jokers Pov?

"He left...." I feet stupid I just kissed batty. "Fuck" i moaned putting my head in my hands "Myra my poor girl" I said frowning "She loves me and I lover her but not like I should" I said silently. "What the fuck am I gonna do now....."

< So um this already is to long so next chapter of Basket love is coming up >

CHAPTER FOUR:

Batman Pov

" Joker what are y-" I got in before he kissed me again but this time I gave in to the kiss. But I pulled away and left the steel mill. I have to tell alfred o-or maybe Priya.....

I have no idea what i'm gonna do. "Alfred..." i said into my phone "Yes Master Bruce" alfred replied in his british accent. "Get harley" I spoke "Anything else master bruce?" alfred replied "Get in contact with Priya.." I mutter "Sir are you positive about that last one? you could tell he was shocked "yes I want her there in 10 minutes. Understood" alfred sighed "Understood Master Bruce."

PS:THIS IS ALL I HAVE DONE

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the-firebird69 · 1 year ago

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So the guy doesn't know the math they hold their son hostage and everybody comes after him and threatened him to get to you and they're doing it here to the idiots and the guy can't see it Mac hasn't here on purpose I send admits it's the only thing that would work to stop them with him being safe but..

So you guys want him to be yelling and screaming at you this Saturday having extra money to buy a whole bunch of Chinese food that you make anyways you're pretty brilliant this is some pretty s*** it's so damn cheap. So Dan is on the show saying your son is a f**** and that he doesn't get his that we don't take his stuff he said you're losing everything you've ever had and all those businesses and you're not in them and you can't figure s*** out what did you not lose yeah I'm taking tons of stuff so you don't give me like 50 dollars. Tell you what were you people doing to yourselves is horrible and we're going to make sure it happens

I'm tired of talking about it but all these awesome movies are going to start and you're going to get ripped apart and torn to shreds this idiot BG I mean you people are f****** stupid I want you out of here and you're going to be I'm going to shoot you Tommy have you shot three times a week minimum and it's probably why this horse winning now we have information we're going to put out there but holy s*** you people suck they're going to pay with your lives we don't see your fat f****** faces anywhere it's so stupid you stick it up in front he will go after you so f****** dumb you don't know the result of anything is

-we've seen tons of people here being total assholes to our son for 15 years and he says is it long enough I'm a Young Man and it's an indicator they should be dead by now and I looked at it and I said why are we keeping them alive no these people and it's because of war and things like that and chaos and it's true and he knows it but he needs the answer and we need to thin the crowd when we can. Take out the week ones hit the strong ones and we're going to do that now

-the Gulf of Mexico is shrinking well it's lowering in water level and they say all these dumb things. You said to see what you're going to do and it is going to drop shortly. It is almost time it's about 3,000 MI into the harbor or golf whatever you idiots call it and cuz you're so huge and it'll be about a hundred more miles which is about 10 minutes normally but it's really going to take about 15 more minutes. And then it will be dropping for feet and it's going to make a noise it's going to sound loud.. well it'll take an hour there's a pretty good vacuum and it is concave and is gone down about 80 ft still no it's done about 300 ft and the wall of water is about 80 ft high that's 300 ft down only the very middle and it goes down sharply and it's really weird looking it's starting to fill up again and it is going out the outlets and in moments the rivers and streams and tribute to everything that feeds the golf is going to empty at the mouth rapidly and then it's going to come from behind and blasts its way out

-there's a whole bunch of stuff going on here but really you assholes are jerks you have time for top chef to tell your people everything's fine and all sorts of dumb s***

-along with the Gulf of Mexico dropping and the rivers and lake streams harbors would have you emptying and blasting out s***

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awritingtree · 4 years ago

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Quidditch Talk

Oliver Wood x reader

Summary: Although everyone hates Oliver’s continuous talks of Quidditch, Y/N adores it. But sometimes Oliver just might need a bit of reminding of how much his girlfriend loves his ramblings.

@idont-knowrn‘s 300 Follower Writing Challenge: Fluff prompt 10. “I could listen to you talk all day without getting bored.” The prompt has been bolded.

Words: ~1.3k

Warnings: fluff, insecurity, making out - a bit steamy towards the end? nothing graphic.

A/N: this is my first Oliver Wood fic. He’s actually quite difficult but yet easy to write since we don’t know much about him from the books or movies. I didn’t want to just include fluff so it gets a bit steamy towards the end. But anyways, I hope you guys like this xx

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

On a quiet Sunday evening, one could normally find Y/N in the Gryffindor common room. And that’s exactly where she was, sitting on a loveseat in front of the fireplace with her boyfriend of two years now, Oliver Wood. The Gryffindor room was almost empty, students finishing up the work that they refused to do throughout the weekend last minute in the library. Y/N sat with her elbow leaning on the back of the loveseat, resting her head on it as she listened to Oliver talk about his plans for the upcoming, highly anticipated Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match next weekend, nodding and inputting a few things to show she was listening. Ever since Malfoy faked his injury and used it to back Slytherin out of the match at the beginning of the term, leading to the tragic loss of Gryffindor against Hufflepuff, the Gryffindor team was even more determined to take them down. Tensions had been high in the corridors and classrooms for about a month now, hexes being thrown left and right, pranks being executed on the Slytherins - by the Weasley twins of course. The professors and prefects were having to put in quite the effort to make sure no one got injured.

The only reason that Oliver and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team weren’t at practice right now was because the Slytherin team had booked the Quidditch pitch since morning, which had put Y/N’s boyfriend in quite a mood for the rest of the day.

He’d been going on and on about different plays, such as the Sloth Grip Roll and Spiral Dive, and how they had to win the Quidditch Cup this year because he wouldn’t get another chance since it was his, and Y/N’s, final year at Hogwarts.

Whenever Oliver became like this - which is almost always - people tended to stray away from him. Everyone thought he was a bit too obsessed about the sport but Y/N found his passion for Quidditch adorable. Though if she ever said this to him, he’d show her just how not adorable he was; not that she was complaining.

The Weasley twins, along with Harry, Angelina and Alicia had subtly moved away from the fireplace a few hours ago, growing tired of Oliver correcting their mistakes. Maybe, it was a good thing they left; Gryffindor didn’t need their Keeper and Captain getting injured a week before the match by his own teammates.

“Hello Y/N! Are you even listening to me?” Oliver’s voice broke Y/N out of her thoughts. His brown hair was slightly messy, well as messy as it could be with its length. He was pouting, upset she hadn’t been listening to him, making her want to smother him with kisses. He looked unbelievably cute. His brown eyes stared at her, waiting for her to say something.

Y/N leaned forward to place a short kiss on his lips. She pulled back to look at his face, a dazed look in his eyes as he looked down at her.

“That doesn’t make up for you zoning out on me, mo chridhe,” he said with a teasing smile, his eyes crinkling slightly at the edges.

You blushed at his term of endearment, “Sorry, Ollie. I was paying attention until you started complaining about killing Fred and George if they didn’t stop joking around and take this match seriously.”

“That was a while ago,” he furrowed his eyebrows. He paused, thinking.

“Am I boring you?” he asked, insecure.

Oliver knew he got carried away sometimes when it came to Quidditch, it never really bothered him when people would find him boring, annoying or obsessed because of it.

But Y/N, Y/N was a different case. He valued her and her opinion too much. What if she found him obsessive? Did she think he only ever talked about Quidditch? What if she felt like he wasn’t paying attention to her, focusing only on Quidditch? Did it bother her when he talked about Quidditch? What if she left him because he was too Quidditch-crazy, like everyone else did? Those were the thoughts running through Oliver’s head.

Y/N gently cradled Oliver’s face between her hands. She could see it on his face, his mind spiralling leading to some absurd thoughts. She didn’t like it when he thought such things about himself. She absolutely despised it when others gave him shit about Quidditch. He’s very passionate about the sport, so what? She loved the fact that he loved something so much and had plans to carry on with it as a career. To find the one thing in life that you were so utterly devoted to, it was rare. And Y/N was so proud and happy for Oliver for finding it so early on in his life.

“Never, my love. I could listen to you talk all day without getting bored. I love to listen to you talk about something you love so dearly. I’m sorry I zoned out for a bit, it was not my intention to make you feel like I wasn’t interested in listening to what you have to say,” Y/N said looking into Oliver’s brown eyes, trying to make him see that she meant what she said.

“I love your passion for Quidditch, even if you do get a bit carried away when it comes to things related to the sport,” she said playfully rolling her eyes causing Oliver to let out a small chuckle. “But that is what makes you you, and I would not change a single thing about you. I love you, Oliver.”

A few tears gathered up in Oliver’s eyes from the pure love and adoration that seeped through in Y/N’s words. He would never be able to explain to her how much it meant to him; that she didn’t care when he got nutty about Quidditch, and loved him because of it, not in spite of it.

Oliver turned his head a bit to place a kiss on the hand that was caressing his cheek, holding onto it with one hand. “You have no idea how much I love you, mo chridhe,” he spoke softly.

He leaned forward and closed the distance between them. His hands trailed up her arm, down her side, to her waist as he pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her, hard, trying to express everything that he couldn’t put into words. Y/N shivered at the feeling of Oliver’s hands moving under her shirt, drawing random shapes on her skin. Her hands moved from Oliver’s cheeks to the nape of his neck. She tugged at his hair, causing him to groan into the kiss. He dug his fingers into her waist in retaliation causing her to gasp, allowing Oliver to deepen the kiss. His tongue moved against hers, battling for dominance. They broke apart soon, breathing heavily.

“How about we take this upstairs?” she whispered into Oliver’s ear. He shivered at the feel of Y/N’s lips moving against his ear, and tugging his earlobe.

He nodded quickly, pulling her up with him. He took her hand in his and made his way towards the stairs leading to the boys’ dormitories without any delay.

“Hey, Oliver!”

“Nope, sorry. Busy. Talk later,” Oliver hastily replied, not even bothering to look at who was calling him.

Y/N giggled as Oliver continued to pull her up the stairs and into his dorm.

“Hope they use a silencing charm,” Fred spoke smirking after watching Oliver pull Y/N up to the boys’ dorm rooms in a hurry, barely getting a response from him.

“At least it’ll get him to shut up about Quidditch,” said George in relief and slight bit of disgust.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

mo chridhe translates to my heart

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

General taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @kashishwrites @remmyswritings @angelinathebook

Lmk if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#Oliver wood #oliver wood imagine #oliver wood x y/n #oliver wood x reader #Oliver Wood fic #Oliver Wood imagines #quidditch #gryffindor #slytherin #hogwarts #Oliver Wood fanfic #harry potter #harry potter imagine #hp #hp imagine #harry potter fic #harry potter fanfiction #hp fic #hp fanfic

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prorevenge · 4 years ago

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Ex-girlfriend had me arrested and contributed to stealing $1000's of dollars from my bank account before I got my retribution.

This is really long but ends with a lot of irony and perfect results.

TL;DR Ex lies and has me arrested because I didn't take her on trip with me. She also destroyed some of my property and possessions while stealing others along with cash and bank card. Prosecutor finds out it's all lies files charges to which she wants me to have dropped. That angers me so I turn over evidence of her other crimes. She goes to jail. Good stuff!!!

About 13 years ago I was in an amazingly toxic relationship, and was completely blindly stupidly in love or so I thought at the time. We had been together about 2 years and had been living together since literally the first night we met. I owned my own home which I worked from and made great money and asked her to quit her job after one too many incidents where she had to deal with a handsy boss. Months into our relationship we rented an apartment out on the beach but I kept my house and we'd go sleep there 2-3 times a month. Since she was looking for a job I told her I would pay our bills while she found and settled into her new job. Her job search lasted about 5 minutes and then she took to hanging out around the house while I worked 15-16 hour days. We spent all day everyday together except for when we would go out to bars together and she'd meet her girlfriends and I'd meet my people's. I got burnt out on work and since I owned my own business I decided I could have my subcontractors do the day to way work and I'd take a year to travel while working remotely 2-3 days a week.

It was around this time I noticed a change in her attitude and our relationship. She became suspicious and accusing me of cheating which was completely unfounded and confusing to me since we were together almost always. Had I listened to those around me I would've put that relationship out of its misery and walked away. However, I decided to try and make her see I wasn't what she thought I was. I obviously see now it was projection and her on concern about being caught sleep around.

We took a year and went all over the US on road trips, going to music festivals, and seeing friends all over the country. We also went to Europe a few times so she got to do and see not just our country but 7 others on my dime while cheating on me but making me feel like the bad guy.

Things would be great while traveling until we were about to land, or just after we got home then she'd pick a fight and I'd go to my house for the night. Our last trip together was to Portland for 10 days in the first week of October. We had a great time and things seemed like the worst was behind us. Boy was I wrong! In our town there's an annual halloween street party. We had each gone for 10+ years before we started dating and every year since we began dating. This particular year I had decided I wanted to go to voodoo festival in New Orleans which is the last week of October and our local shindig is the last Saturday of October. This caused a huge fight between us and I told her I needed a break to assess our relationship. This brought out an evil side in her which I'd never seen. I was shocked and wasn't going to tolerate it. I packed my bags and went to the airport and caught my flight to NO. I got there the day before the festival started and went and gambled and did my tourist obligations on Bourbon Street. That evening I was missing her so I booked her a ticket and tried calling her but got no answer. I texted her and let her know that a ticket was at the airport and a car would be waiting to bring her to my hotel but still got no response. Hours after I called her she drunkenly calls me screaming about how she knew I had one of my whores with me on this trip. She went on for 20 min before I told her to forget the ticket and to fuck off at this point I was 100% done. At that point she asked what ticket because she hadn't seen the text (flip phones were the worst for that reason) but it was too late in my book. For her to think I was that type of person and the seriously personal attacks she launched into let me know there was nothing left to salvage. Before hanging up I told her when I returned I would be moving out of the apartment and I would no longer be paying for everything so she had a week to make arrangements.

Because we were living together she had access to the spare key to my house I kept in our apartment. She went to my house and dumped bleach all over my clothing and my sneaker collection. That there would be enough for me to murder her if I wasn't a decent person. She also stole 300+ records and my spare bank card plus the $10,000 I kept for emergencies (bail money) in a safe hidden in my closet. This was an intelligent woman but her thinking during her little crime spree wouldn't indicate that. Instead of using the bank card herself she gave it to a friend of hers and they spent over $3500 on purchases and withdrew $5500 from my savings. I only found it was happening because my bank called and wondering why my card was being used in 2 separate states minutes or hours apart in the same day. I shut the card off and filed fraud claims and put her out of my mind for the rest of the week while having a blast. Festival was great and had a great time hanging out drinking, drugging, gambling, and partying while in New Orleans. The festival ended Sunday and I flew home the following Tuesday. I come off the jetway into the terminal and am met by two detectives. They ask my name and I of course started answering all their questions. Within 5 minutes I'm in handcuffs and being led away for felony domestic violence, terroristic threats, burglary, assault, and criminal mischief.

I had left on my trip on a Friday afternoon. That next day is when I sent her the ticket and we had that blowout where I ended it. She called the police and told them we were fighting and I came to her house and she wouldn't let me in, so I threw a brick through her sliding glass door. Once in then I started to strangle her and one of girlfriends tried to stop me and I punched and beat her up. She told the police I fled to New Orleans. (The level of crazy here is beyond scary she staged a break in by smashing a door in our apartment, had hand marks on her neck to be photographed, and the other girl had a split lip...all faked) The police somehow got my flight info but didn't bother to check that I wasn't even in town when all this allegedly happened. I went to jail and bonded out ($35,000 bond) and had to hire an attorney. Based on charges filed I was looking at 12 years now that's what I would've served but still scary AF. I knew I could prove where I was so wasn't overly concerned. However it cost me $3500 for bond and $10,000 on an attorney. I got my $3,5000 back when my case was dropped. After getting out of jail I went to the airport to get my car and she had slit all 4 tires on my car leaving the pearl handled switch blade I bought her as a gift in the last tire.

My attorney gets all my travel documents to the prosecutor and the charges are dropped. I was going to let the rest of the shit go and be done with her. Honestly if losing that money meant I'd never have to see or deal with her again I would've paid double. The prosecutor was pissed and filed charges on both my ex the other girl who lied to police. At this point he didn't know about the fraud complaint from the money stolen from me. Again I was going to just let it go until my ex called me. She tried apologizing by saying she was sorry she had to do all the stuff because I told her I never wanted to see or speak to her again while in New Orleans. By doing those things she felt it would get my attention is the way she put it. I told her she was a spiteful bitch and karma would run over some day. Her response was I was spiteful for leaving her and going on the trip without her. My last words to her that I would be very spiteful and her oncoming karma rolled into one. Because I had texts asking her about the damage done in my home and the missing $10k/bank card and the money spent in which she admitted all of it I turned those over to the prosecutor. He filed theft, burglary, identity theft, misuse of credit card, and about 4 other charges on her. She had a key but no permission to be in my house so the burglary charge stuck and so did 5 of the other charges. She got 6 years and did 3. Once out I would see her when I was out because she has always bartended or been a waitress. Over a three year period I saw her working at 5 places. At all 5 I notified the manager or owner that she was thief not to trusted and gave them just enough info to see she was a felon. She lost those 5 jobs. After that she moved away. Last I heard she lived in Chicago. Feel sorry for whatever person this parasite is currently attached to.

Crazy Psycho = 0 Me = 1

(source) story by (/u/Burnvictim49percent)

#prorevenge #by /u/Burnvictim49percent #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago

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RP Meme Lines from "AHS: Coven" Episode 10: "The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks"

Drink this, it'll calm your nerves.

I'll cast a little spell for you.

I'm ashamed to show you my weakness.

I might have shed a tear or two myself if I'd lost everyone I had.

I'm over 300 years old.

Everyone I done ever met done followed after the Grim Reaper.

I taught myself long ago not to waste tears for the dead.

It's your kindness that has touched my soul.

I feel like I've been alone for so long, it's a relief to have found an equal. Even if that person come in the guise of an enemy.

We have so much to talk about. But not tonight.

Tomorrow we'll draw the battle lines.

Wake up. Your master calls.

Tonight's the night you pay me my due.

Not now. Please.

It's been a hard day.

Hard days deserve a harder night.

You drink my torment like wine.

Why you here in the house of your enemy?

I've come to seek a lasting truce.

I want what's coming to me.

It's the bargain you made so long ago.

You'll have to come back during visiting hours.

Mama's had a hard day.

Put the baby down on the ground and step away from it.

Don't mess with me.

I need this baby.

Put the goddamn baby down. Now!

I warned you.

I'll give you something to cry about.

He was determined to be a hero.

I should've seen it.

It's on me.

Ooh, he hated your ass.

You were my sworn enemy.

You hired him to kill me?

You're not just blind, you are willfully blind.

We don't have to waste our time with worker bees, what we have to do is to find the hive.

What a lovely shawl.

You keep your distance.

I know your game, lady.

Don't bother.

I've surrounded myself with the white spirit light to protect me.

I've already made plans on how to bring myself back.

Well, now why would I want to hurt you?

You can keep your powers.

I don't think you fully appreciate the power of the throne.

You are going to know the world, and what's more they are all going to want to know you.

You owe me five bucks.

Well, that was a morbid field trip.

You're not his type.

I know everything about you.

Did I get the shawl twirl right?

I want to get it right.

Perfect. It was perfect.

My powers are growing.

I can do mind control.

Put out that cigarette.

Now stick it in your vagina.

It was clearly my destiny to die and be reborn, just like our Lord and Savior.

Important men get their pictures taken.

We have to be smart about this.

They pray to one god-- a green, merciless god.

You're tainted.

You let them get inside your head.

We can fight about this for the next ten years, but right now I want to help you.

Don't you understand anything?

You can't help me.

You can't help anyone.

You're worthless, hopeless.

Get out of my sight.

Bring them to me in a weakened state.

She's selfish and she's a whore.

I didn't realize this before, but we can't survive on our own.

You don't have a mean bone in your body.

Maybe you're the kind of leader we need.

I want to say good-bye.

What is that hideous smell?

Clear all the bad spirits out of here.

It's not evil intentions that's making me sick.

We still got work to do.

What has she done to you?

I found love for the first time, and it's given me the passion to keep fighting.

You know the secret.

I don't think you're ready for that.

Tell me your secret.

I thought I was the shit back then.

I had just come into my prime, and my magic was strong.

I was pregnant, and I did not accept the idea of death.

I was invincible.

I come to you once a year, and you give me what I want.

I thought he meant some kind of sexual favors.

I wished for it; it came true.

Unknowingly, I made a deal forged in Hell.

You'd make a beautiful mother.

Children ain't in the cards for you.

Not my baby.

Take it back.

Take the spell back.

I can be mortal again.

Give the child to me.

I want my innocent soul.

What does he want?

Try and get some sleep now.

Just close your eyes and forget about that for now.

This kabob's some kind of tasty.

Thanks for treating.

Pretty soon, you'll be drowning in merch.

Merchandise. Swag. The cookies. You know.

You are cynical.

Everything's transactional.

Guy buys you dinner, he expects a blow job. Welcome to earth.

Players only love you when they're playing.

No, I know what you're trying to do. Mess me up, make me doubt myself.

You think I'm stupid because of where I came from.

Well, I'm not so easily bought, and I ain't that easily fooled.

You're right. I do think you're stupid.

You want to change my opinion?

Enchant these guys, would you?

You're powerful.

I'm powerful.

I don't need you.

I just want to be your friend.

Now lose that ugly shawl.

Stupid bitch.

Where's his body?

I think it's time for us to go.

She has to pay!

You have to be cleansed.

Could you please stop playing for a minute?

I need to focus.

Listen to the celestial tones.

What is that thing? It's hideous and weird.

Don't be a hater, dear.

I cannot tell you how playing this instrument soothes my soul in tempestuous times.

Nothing could soothe my soul.

You buck up, is what you do!

Face reality headlong and carry on.

I have no one, and my powers are gone.

Your salad dressing is absolutely magical.

Maybe you could bottle it.

You've got a lovely personality, and you're always well-groomed.

Are you trying to push me over the edge?

Between us chickens, no matter how hard I worked at it, I never felt special, either.

Look at me, I'm fabulous!

One never knows what the universe has in store for us!

I am an absolute failure.

I don't belong here anymore. I don't belong anywhere!

Vultures are waiting to strip the flesh from our bones.

You get our people on the phone.

Nobody is coming near us.

There's nothing natural about this.

It's time we finally deal with those witches.

You broke out the good stuff.

I don't want to die.

I am not the same as everyone.

I don't give a wet donkey's shit about your title.

I want terms defined.

The deal is off.

You have no soul.

Bum luck, baby.

I'll get my immortality.

I have no soul.

I'll just kill 'em all.

You always hear something.

You stole this baby to kill it.

You don't know what you talking about.

Eat my shit.

Now we'll have more cops on our trail.

Whose baby is that?

You have blood on your hands.

I barely remember my baby's face.

Stop making such a fuss.

I was very clear. No substitutions.

Be a sport.

Do I have to wear this outfit for all eternity?

Anywhere is better than here.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #roleplay starters #ahs #ahs coven

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years ago

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson- Chapter 7: Non-Productive Time

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: On a slow afternoon, Shane remembers a couple of fun evenings with Sy, and can’t help but start texting him…he turns out to be a bad influence.

Don’t want spoilers? Click me first to catch up!

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Language, mature themes, a steamy scene that bumps up against the line of smut/not smut…it looks like smuttish is, in fact, a thing, (see what I did there? Toss a high five to your fic writer for the paraphrased Witcher quote in these here notes! lol! Sorry, i’m tired...and in a weird mood tonight...) so, anyway, using that. I love it.

Author’s Note: This chapter was about half done before I even started SI1 and SI2! So that’s why it’s come along so quickly in the wake of them. It could also mean that there are some continuity issues…I found a couple during the re-write of the first part, and more when I was proofing, so it should be good, but…fair warning, one or more could have escaped me! Also, let me know if the text convo is hard to follow. I’ll try to reconfigure it to be more clear. It seemed to me like context was enough, and they’d had text convos before, and no one said anything…this one’s longer by about 300%, though, so…feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0@tumblnewby

@suavechops

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

Time seemed to pass slowly when Shane wasn’t with Sy. When they weren’t having dinner together, or doing their typical date thing. She thought about their second date. One of the bars in town, chosen for its above average bar food but mostly, it’s pool tables. The warning he’d given her via text had made her laugh:

We’re goin’ to Cade’s for apps and pool, if that's okay. As gorgeous as you looked in that blue dress you wore last night, I recommend jeans and a T-shirt for tonight, okay?

She took his suggestion. A simple black tee, because she was a food klutz from hell, layered over a red camisole, and her favorite jeans. It showed off her dainty arrow necklace well.

While they played, they drank beer and talked about life, getting deeper into things than they could at therapy sessions.

“Dad split when I was about ten, I guess. Mom did her best with her only son, but she sent me to my grandpa’s a lot when she was working or just…needing her own time. He’d been an army man. Fought in Korea. His dad was in World War II. It felt like…I don’t know, this pull, like I was meant to join up.”

“Destiny?” She asked. A dreamy tone overtook him when he talked about his family and his now former career.

“I guess. Never though too much of all that before.”

They smiled at one another. Knowing.

“What was he like? Your grandpa?”

“Oh, Pap was the best. He was a mechanic in the service and so he could get anything hummin, ya know? We fixed up and built motors for all kinds a’ shit. My first car was a ‘67 Shelby Mustang with the fast back all because when I was about 14, he found most of one at a salvage yard and basically rescued it from the crusher. Got it for about nothin’. For two years we collected parts and did body work on that thing. And by the time I turned sixteen, it was the most beautiful, show-ready Kerry green machine you ever seen.”

“One of my favorite cars! I’d love to see pictures!”

“I’ve still got ‘er.” He grinned. “When Pap died, it got…hard for me to drive her, ya know? So…special occasions only now. And he left me his truck, which he’d just bought brand new while I was on my first tour. That F150 crew cab we came here in, with all the bells 'n whistles. I couldn’t let such a fine automobile go to waste.” He grinned.

“You’re such a gear head.” She chuckled.

“Hey, you may be glad about that when you need somebody to get your own motor humming.” He teased back at her, bending over the table to take his shot and sinking it deftly. He said they would only play for fun, but he was still winning this round…which she didn’t think was that fun.

“Okay, I deserved that.”

“The shot, or the innuendo?” He asked to clarify.

“Yes.” They laughed. He eventually did miss, making it her turn.

"Ya know, I'm disappointed in this date, Shane." He baited.

"How come?" she asked, a bit hurt.

"A guy only asks a girl to play pool with him so he can show her how to shoot…and you already know."

It was true. She'd played a lot growing up and even a bit as she got older. She and her siblings loved billiards. Her whole family, really. And although she was no professional, she wasn't half bad for an amateur.

"What do you mean?" she asked innocently, sizing up the table for her next shot, but knowing with a fair amount of certainty what he was implying.

"You know. I wanted to get all close to ya. Show ya how to grip that cue in your hand. How to stand, bent at the hip, where to eyeball your shot from." he smiled. "All that shit ya see in movies that makes the girl all nervous and excited that the guy's touchin' on her. Pressed up against her."

Shane grinned, picked up the small, blue cube of chalk and rolled the concave side over the tip of her cue…she had no need to do so, most people didn't, really…but she made herself look really sexy doing it and asked Sy, "Is that right? Well, I guess you'll have to find another way to get your cheap thrills, because this girl has been known to run a table." She bent over the green felt seductively, the angle at which she did so displaying her décolletage in his direction just enough to tantalize him into licking his lips. She took her shot at the 10 ball, but sunk the 8 instead, losing her the game…damn. She shouldn't have gotten cocky.

"Run it where, sunshine? Into the ground? Off a cliff?" he laughed as she stomped over and began to poke him mercilessly in the ribs.

"Come on, Minnesota Fats. Let's pay the tab and find something a little cozier to do."

"Oka--wait, did you just call me fat?" he was incredulous. She laughed.

"Oh my God, you thought YOU were gonna teach ME about billiards…Minnesota Fats is like the most famous pool player of ever. I am not calling you fat."

"You messin' with me?" he squinted.

"Sy, google it. I promise. I would never call you fat. You're… my sexy man bear."

"Technically a bear is a fat animal." he sulked.

"Why don't you tell that to one when it's chasing you down to make a meal of ya!" Shane laughed. "Come on. Remember? I think I mentioned something about… finding another way for you to get cheap thrills. Lets explore that, shall we?" she whispered into his ear. He dropped some bills on their table nearby to more than cover their food and beer, and they hauled ass into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had definitely been exploring. In the two weeks since they'd been given the green light to see each other outside of therapy--the day Sy basically handed Shane's boss her own ass--they'd spent most evenings with each other, unless Shane had a particularly late evening at work or an early day the next day. A few nights, they had been together so late, that just staying over seemed the most reasonable option. But they had both agreed to take things slowly with the physical stuff. It had been a long time since either of them had been in a relationship, and given their patient/therapist situation, waiting a while for the sex had seemed like a good idea…on paper. On the sofa had been a different story.

One day last week, she'd had to make an early night of things, and stood up from his couch, but was pulled back down to straddle his lap.

"Hold on a minute, sunshine. Why don't you gimme a proper goodbye before ya go, hmm?" he held her so close to him at every curve of their bodies, like the pieces of a puzzle snapping flush together. His kisses were deep and agonizing, his beard gently brushing her mouth, teasing her with its uncommon softness. She returned the ardor, squeezing him in every way she could.

She couldn't contain the desire pooling at her center, especially when he clearly couldn't contain his, either, straining against his shorts, pressing against her so deliciously, right where she needed him. She didn't hold back. And he was nothing if not encouraging to her endeavor.

"That feels so good, baby. You're so warm. Mmm." he whispered as he nipped at her ear and bit at her neck. She hadn't intended to, but she felt herself slipping over the edge, into pure euphoria and gripped at his hair, still rather short, though growing out from the mandated buzz. The length made him even more sensitive and when she ran her hands up his neck and over the back of his head, the result was like an electric current straight to his manhood. His body tensed as his release followed hers seconds later.

"Fuck." he said. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" she was truly confused.

"For losin' it like a teenager." he sighed and laid his head against the back of his couch in surrender…an unfamiliar sight, Shane was certain.

"Don't worry about it. I mean…it's not quite how I pictured our first time, but--"

"Oh, hell no. This doesn't count as a TIME, sunshine. This is batting practice. A warm up.”

"Ooh, you and your baseball references again. I told you, I need to leave, Sy. You can't get me worked up with that kinda dirty talk." she kissed his cheek, and stood. "Walk me out?"

He did. And they stood holding one another in the dark, leaned up against her Explorer, Sy's back against the door, Shane's cheek on his bare, hairy chest, and the turning of the earth all but forgotten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She had to stop thinking about him. About their dates and the time they'd spent together. But her schedule had fallen apart for the day due to a nasty storm that had blown in, she had no more education to work on for now, and she could only clean and organize her treatment room and desk so thoroughly.

She guessed…the secretaries knew she was available if need be…and she was salaried…what was the harm in texting Sy? She'd stayed late and came in early and overworked herself in general so much for this clinic. She could justify a bit of downtime.

Hey! Whatcha doin?

Just did some exercises that my super hot PT gave me! *winky face emoji*

Uh-Oh, should I be jealous?

Mmm, hard to say, sunshine. I guess it'll depend on which one of you sleeps with me first. *devil emoji*

Smart money is on the one who’s already let you get to second base…and basically third, even though…does it count if it’s basically because of a dare. Induced by Jack Daniels?

I think it counts if you came…*smirk emoji*

Damn those skilled fingers and Tennessee whiskey.

What can I say. I told ya I knew how to get a motor humming. *cool guy emoji*

You certainly do. No doubt about that.

So how's your day goin', sunshine?

Eh, everyone's cancelled on me. I have no one until 4:00, and I have nothing to do until then. I've decided to see it as a blessing and text my favorite fella.

And when he didn't respond, you resorted to me? *smirk emoji*

Hey you know that you have no competition for my affection other than like, my dad…and Chris Evans. Lol

Your dad, I'm sure I couldn't compete with if I tried, from what you've told me. Chris…well, I'm a REAL captain, not some guy jumpin' around in tights.

Mmmm, shame. I bet you'd look good in a getup like that. *heart eyes emoji*

You think so?

Yup! *American flag emoji*

You wanna be my Black Widow?

I mean…I've already basically got a costume…*embarrassed monkey emoji*

*several lines of big eye emojis*

Yeah, a few Halloweens ago…I was Romanoff. Now you know. I'm a total nerd.

I'm a nerd, too, sunshine. Serious nerd.

How am I just finding out about this? There's next to no merch at your place, and you never wear typical nerd shirts…*skeptical face emoji*

You haven't seen my whole place…*wink emoji*

What, are you telling me you have Batman bedsheets? *lol emoji*

Oh, it's much…much worse than that. The bedroom is pretty neutral, but…I have a…kind of rec room in the basement that is basically nerd central.

Oh. Em. Gee. I can't WAIT to see that, Sy!!! And how dare you hold out on me!!!

Well, I mean, I didn't wanna lay out all my cards right off the bat. I'm playing the long game.

Ah, so, when do I get to see this nerd trap?

Come on over, sunshine. *smiley face*

I said, I've got a patient at 4:00.

Everyone's cancelled on you. Can't you cancel on them for once?

Not unless I'm violently ill do I ever have any patients cancelled on my behalf.

So…say you're violently ill and come see me. *shrugging man emoji*

I dunno, Sy…

I got stuff to make that soup you like…

She had made it clear to him how much she loved soup, especially a good creamy potato soup, and on one of their dates, he'd had her over and there was a big pot of the stuff on his stove, made from scratch. She'd never had better, and he almost got lucky that night…and I mean…he still got a little lucky. He cooked for her AND cleaned up, AND let her pick the movie that night. She still picked an action movie, because she wasn't really a romance movie type, overall. Even so. Could she leave him hanging?

She opened her thread with Heather in her messenger app on her laptop.

Heather, is there anyone who could take my last patient, Mr. Lopez?

Looks like Cheri has a cancel around that time. Need me to move him?

If you could. I'm not feeling well.

Are you pregnant?

Omg, every fucking time. Why when anything is amiss in a woman's life must it be pregnancy?! And why is it okay to ask that question?! Ugh! She loved Heather like a sister, and it probably was just a joke, but uuuuuugh!

Yes…yes I am. *eye roll emoji* I've got a killer headache that's making me queasy. I'll email Susan. Thanks.

You bet. Tell Sy I said hi. *wink emoji*

Shut up.

After a quick and concise email to her boss, she picked her phone back up. One unread message.

You there, sunshine?

She simply replied,

Get that soup ready, Captain, I'm on my way.

Up Next: Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

#netflix sand castle #sand castle #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc #sigh for sy #smuttish #not full on smut

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years ago

Text

notable moments from The Mile High Job

leverage 1.08

Nate: We need a key card.

Eliot: And I hate to say it, but you know who we could really use --

Nate: Don't even say his name. I don't want it spoken aloud

eliot begrudgingly admitting they could use hardison because although they may bicker all the time, he knows to appreciate him

- - - - -

[Leverage Headquarters]

(Hardison is watching a microwave, which dings)

Hardison: Yeah, buddy!

(he tries to pick up the pizza pocket but it is too hot and he drops it)

Hardison: Damn it!

(he blows on it and picks it up to eat it, then takes a watering can and heads out of the kitchen)

why do we (and parker and eliot) love this fucking idiot so damn much ???

- - - - -

(Hardison walks through the offices watering plants)

he’s such a nester + he’s probably watering parker’s plant too which is adorable

- - - - -

Eliot: All right.

(open the door to the hall to find Parker waiting)

Parker: So, what are we waiting for?

Eliot: How does she do this?

Nate: I don't even ask anymore.

Hardison: Don't bother with the stairs. I got you a ride down.

(elevator dings and they enter)

we love to see parker defying all laws of physics and logic and the team being baffled by it e v e r y time

- - - - -

(Nate, Parker and Eliot run into the lobby, headed for the door)

Nate: No, it’s right behind us, it’s right behind us!

(guards put their hands on their guns)

Parker: It’s furry, it’s big, it’s chasing us, get down now!

(they grab Sophie on the way out the door, leaving the guards confused)

Nate: Come on, we need to get to the airport, now!

that’s actually a really clever way to escape a situation ??? it was very effective to distract the guards ???

- - - - -

Hardison: What I.D.s have you got on you?

[LAX Airport]

Nate: Let's see...

(team begins looking through their pockets)

Nate: We got, Peter Davison, Sylvester McCoy, and I have a Tom Baker. Yeah.

Sophie: Ooh, yeah, I have a Baker. Sarah Jane.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Hardison: Perfect. I now pronounce you man and wife. (typing on keyboard) Now go on and kiss that bride.

[LAX Airport]

(Sophie hands Nate a ring that he places on her finger)

hardison bases their ids on doctor who characters, what a fucking nerd

also, we gonna talk about how sophie carries a bunch of different wedding rings with her at all times or ???

- - - - -

Sophie: How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?

Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectedly.

Eliot: Or if something happens to the one that they're already wearing.

Sophie: How does "everyone" know that?

Nate: Worked airport security.

Eliot: Slept with a flight attendant

sophie being exhausted + eliot never mentioned the gender of the flight attendant so let my bi heart dream okay

- - - - -

(security guard opens Nate’s luggage to find many BSDM items inside. Nate gives Sophie a look)

Sophie: What? We needed luggage. Lost and found.

Nate: You didn't check the bag first?

Sophie: We were in a bit of a hurry. (to guard) Yeah. Cuffs are his. Whip's mine. (slaps Nate’s butt) Second honeymoon.

Eliot (picking up his bag): Idiots.

me watching this scene: part horrified part secondhand embarrassed

- - - - -

Hardison (on computer): Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. What... Damn. Somebody needs to get laid.

y i k e s

- - - - -

[Coach]

(Parker on P.A. while another stewardess demonstrates)

Parker: Place the mask over your mouth and nose and breathe normally. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let's face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely the impact will kill you.

(Eliot grabs the bridge of his nose while the other passengers get alarmed)

Parker: Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits, because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna want to get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over 1,000 degrees. That's hot, folks.

Eliot: All right, Nate. We're here. Now what?

eliot looks exhausted like 300 different times during this episode

+ bless the other flight attendant that just carried on with the crazy white chick being crazy over the speaker

- - - - -

poor eliot with the guy sleeping on him, he’s so exhausted already lmao

- - - - -

Steve: Nothing. It’s just... I could've sworn I saw a maintenance guy get in that elevator.

Hardison: A- A maintenance guy? Wow. Real nice. I bet you think we all look alike.

Steve: That's not what I meant.

Hardison: You know what -- If I have to go to one more of those damn sensitivity seminars, I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: No, no, no.

Hardison: I know who I’m blaming.

Steve: It's not what I meant.

Hardison: I blame you! You! (walks away)

hardison using societal tendencies of racism is iconic every (every) time

- - - - -

(Eliot gets up and begins going through luggage in the overhead racks. One of the passengers watches him suspiciously)

Eliot (to passenger): Can I help you with something? Watch the movie.

what would you even do in this situation ???

- - - - -

Marissa: I know. It's just -- It's like a placebo effect. It's not really working, but it makes you feel better anyway.

Parker: Yeah? So, when's that supposed to kick in? (she moves forward) Look. Flying isn't really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane. Car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, autoerotic asphyxiation. I mean, the fact is, death haunts us every day. No matter where we are.

(Parker smiles and moves away)

Y I K E S

- - - - -

Hardison: You kidding? Did you get the new expansion pack? Woman, I was up all night. Now, look, I mean “Burning Crusade" was great, but this new one is mind-blowing.

Nate: Hardison…

[First Class]

Nate: …you bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?

[Genogrow Break Room]

(Hardison turns aside and opens a cabinet door to hide his face)

Hardison: First off, "game" is hardly adequate, okay

hardison is DONE with them not taking his “games” seriously ,,, also LMFAO that’s why he was late

- - - - -

Hardison (opens door): The meeting's starting, sir. (closes door)

Haldeman: What meeting? (sighs and puts on his jacket)

that is such an effective tactic tho ???

- - - - -

Parker: Hatbox full of Euros, pouch of uncut diamonds, and a stolen Stradivarius. Now, I’ve never lifted one of those.

Nate: Parker..

let! her! steal! it!

- - - - -

Eliot: Ms. Devins, those payments were not made in error. They were bribes. He was trying to pay off the researchers so they would not testify.

Marissa: What are you talking about? What the hell is going on here?

(Parker sits down next to Marissa)

Parker: The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger ale?

Eliot: Just – sh-she--

that poor lady is NOT having a good time

also eliot looks sO DONE WITH PARKER LMFAO

- - - - -

Eliot: Erlick's a pro. He had a ceramic knife. If anything was going down, he'd sniff 'em out when he saw them coming.

Nate: How would they do it?

Eliot: Easiest way? Take 'em out in transit.

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane they're on?

(everyone looks at her pointedly)

Sophie: You mean bring down the plane we're on?

Nate: Yeah

that’s interesting meta to know but we hate to see it

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, Parker, I -- Parker, I need you – (to Eliot) All right, we got to talk to Erlick now.

[Plane Bathroom]

(Dan is still unconscious on the toilet as Eliot and Nate come in)

Nate: Geez!

Eliot (patting Dan on the face): Hey!

(Dan does not stir, Eliot sighs)

Eliot: When I knock people out, they tend to stay knocked out.

Nate: Hey!

(Nate taps the guy on the face)

Nate: Luggage tags.

(they search Dan’s clothes and take his luggage tags. Eliot grabs the ceramic knife before they leave the bathroom)

eliot doesn’t fuck around lmao

also he did the flippy thing with the knife

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, the device you found -- is it anywhere near an orange box?

Parker: Yeah.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Oh, god. They tapped into the black box.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: No, no, it's not black. It's orange.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Yeah, the black boxes, they're orange.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: Makes them easier to find in the debris.

Parker: Oh. Oh…

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: They've hacked into the flight's computer, which means they have access to the system, which means they can spoof the black-Box data all at the same time.

[Cargo Hold]

Parker: Crash the plane without anyone knowing it was sabotaged.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Hardison: Exactly

that’s terrifying

- - - - -

Nate: Listen to me!

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You can do this! I trust you!

(Hardison looking very unsure of himself)

[Cockpit]

Nate: No matter how many times you goof off or screw up, you always come through in the clutch.

[Haldeman’s Office]

Nate: You're the only guy I can count on in a situation like this.

Hardison (cracks his neck): You know what? I-I-you... You're right.

You're right. I got this.

[Cockpit]

Nate: Yes! Yes! Yes, you can!

Hardison: You're right. You're -- I'm the man.

[Cargo Hold]

Hardison: I'm the man. I got this. I'm gonna do this.

hardison is amazing and they need to appreciate him more

- - - - -

[First Class]

(Nate and Eliot stumble into seats and belt up)

Nate: Sophie?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yes?

[First Class]

Nate: You okay?

[Coach]

Sophie: Yeah. You?

[First Class]

Nate: Ask me again in 10 minutes.

[Coach]

Sophie: You're gonna remember this one, aren't you?

[First Class]

Nate: Oh yeah.

everyone else on the comms: ,,, y’all have to flirt right this second ???

- - - - -

[Haldeman’s Office]

(Hardison watching footage on the Internet of the plane landing)

Announcer (on monitor): …emergency landing on the seven mile bridge…

Hardison: Whoa! (gets up and dances) Baby! Unh! Age of the geek! Smooth! Too smooth! Lord, I was so scared, I wanted to cry, call my mama. Y'all cool? Y’all cool?

Nate: Yes, cool.

Hardison: Family. All right.

hardison is baby + HE CALLED THEM HIS FAMILY !!!

#the mile high job #leverage 1.08 #leverage 1x08 #leverage season 1 #season 1 #notable moments #leverage #mine

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years ago

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Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

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corpsentry · 4 years ago

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behind the taylor swift gundam was in fact another, smaller gundam: a brief inquiry into the events of june 2020

so back in june this year june and i got together and we made this motherfucker of a story with this motherfucker of a thread to keep track of it all. but you already know that! and i’ve already got one foot and three elbows in my grave, so i’ll spare you the long-winded stuff. you wanna know how i wrote 93,035 words in 4 weeks? i’ll tell you how i wrote 93,035 words in 4 weeks-

-by linking you guys to copies of my planning documents because i feel like those words speak louder than any words i can offer in the present day. these are long documents. but they are also historical artifacts. very interesting. very weird. very, uh, full of cussing. so anyway, here’s

BIG DADDY: THE ORIGINAL PLANNING DOCUMENT

for those, like me, who have no motivation left in life to do anything and rely on summaries from others to acquire new knowledge, it all started with a single line.

prince of a fallen kingdom atsumu tries to kill hinata but falls in love with him instead

june, april something, 2020

with that in mind i tested the concept out with a few paragraphs of text, which you can find at the bottom of the Big Daddy document in the graveyard segment, accidentally sold my soul to the image of hinata with epaulettes, and then worked backwards, structuring an entire plot around two images:

a) hinata getting the shit beat out of him, with snark b) hinata and atsumu dancing in an empty ballroom under the stars

if you want a betrayal, you have to have something worth losing. if you want to fall in love with someone you don’t know, you have to meet them. if you have to meet them, there has to be a reason for that meeting, and so somewhere in between atsumu became a sword instructor and hinata the prince with daddy issues. june and i used this method of glancing anxiously over your shoulder to see what you’d missed to fill out the blanks in the story, after which i tacked up a bunch of post-its, typed out the plot, consulted june, typed out the plot again, and then broke the characters down into a bunch of questions, like ‘what do they want?’ and ‘what do they have?’ and ‘what are they afraid of?’

with the plot more or less ironed out, i decided it was time to start writing, and then i decided that i was actually too scared to start writing after all, so instead i set a couple of timers using classroomtimers.com (15-20 minutes long) and i sat down and i wrote about the world that hinata and atsumu inhabited.

each warm-up was 300-500 words long, and for the first few days, i’d write one before getting into writing the story proper. later these evolved into simply picking a scene from the story and launching straight into it, which became useful for opening those scenes later when i got to them organically.

then i got lazy! so i stopped. but these shitty little exercises were really useful for me because, unfettered by plot, convention, or any kind of tradition hovering over my shoulder, i was able to fuck around loosely enough to realize what i wanted this story to be. it was a very contrived kind of trial-and-error, an exploration of the characters, the story, but most importantly, the tone.

RESEARCH, PLANNING, AND VICTORIAN BOUGIE FASHION

this is a loose map of the castle and Important Locations within it, which i drew up at the start so i could keep track of where everything was and how i could get my characters from point A to point B. i wanted the story to have Some kind of internal logic, you know, even if that logic amounted to ‘a compass would function normally in this world whereas kageyama tobio would not’.

99% of my planning and organizing within those five weeks took place in this lovely dotted cat journal which my sister gave me for my birthday and i repurposed into a metaphorical Diary of Suffering while working on juno. i used it for everything from keeping track of narrative threads to clothing consistency checks, but the main purpose was this: each day at about 10 pm i’d crack open the cat book to a fresh page, stamp the date and the day of suffering at the top, and then write down a list of things i wanted to write, address, or fix today. then i’d sit at my laptop and write like a madman until about 7 in the morning. with breaks, of course, for sitting in the bathroom and staring at the wall and sitting in the kitchen and staring at the wall, but mostly i was writing. and complaining about writing. you were there, you probably remember that.

anyway, here are some pages from the cat book.

aside from the fact that my handwriting is complete shit, you can see that i made zero effort for any of this to be presentable. it was mainly a way for me to keep track of my thoughts because i have the attention span of an ikea wardrobe and tend to forget things as soon as i think of them. the lack of structure also mirrored the way that i went about writing juno. while i did proceed, for the most part, in chronological order, i had a lot of weird and useless revelations during lunch, which by this point was happening around 2 am, and in the 5 minutes before the exhaustion finally hit and carried me down to hell. i changed A Lot. again, to understand exactly how much the story evolved from day one onwards, please consult the big daddy document.

in the meantime, here’s something else.

once june sent over hinata and atsumu’s character designs i sat down like the fucking fool i am and spent 2 hours poring over a document about victorian and other fashion movements of the past so i could assign a noun, adjective, and verb to each element of their outfits. i don’t know why i did this. i certainly could have not, but i attempted to make sense of their ‘fits from a logistical perspective and that went into the cat book too. everything went into the cat book. the cat book is a relic of the past now, stuffed with artifacts such as the birth of oikawa tooru, and also his demise.

MEDIUM DADDY: EDITING, PROOFREADING, AND CREEPY MURDER CATS

i finished writing on june 26th, 2020, approximately a month after i’d first started planning, somewhere around may 27th or 28th. at that point i had about 90,000 words’ worth of story and no sanity left whatsoever, so i took a day-long break to stare at a wall and listen to taylor swift’s enchanted on loop.

and then i made a new document, which you can look at using the link above, and i laid out everything i had to do. i’d discovered a fuck ton of plot inconsistencies and general errors while writing and lying awake in bed at 9 a.m., sleepless in seattle, and now that i was free of the demon egging me towards the first finish line, it was time to Deal with them. i speed-scrolled through the draft, which was 200+ pages compressed into one google doc, because i like to tempt god’s wrath, and fixed up all the plot issues over the course of a few days. this was the fun part.

the actual, hard editing was the extremely un-fun part. i reread the entire thing, paragraph by paragraph, line by damn line, from start to finish, paying especially close attention to awkward phrasing, incomplete dialogue, and moments which had fallen flat in my haste to get on to the next one. this was really fucking terrible. i spent more time lying facedown on the floor than actually editing anything, but after a long time (about a week), that, too was done.

SMALL DADDY: TITLES, SUMMARIES, AND GOOD FUCKING BYES

i spent a good eighty days thinking about the title, though hilariously enough we ended up with something that was a blend of our names. june + elmo = juno, which is, all things considered, pretty perfect, but the process of picking the title was Hell, and i Did Not Come Up With The Title until about 2 hours before posting. you can take a look at the haphazard clusterfuck of my title-selecting process in small daddy, which is linked above.

so the title was a last-minute choice. so was the summary. and the chapter divisions. and actually all the songs in the playlist for juno. the day we dropped juno onto planet earth like a newborn baby pitched out of the sky, i spent an hour hunched over my laptop, cutting my 213 page google doc into chapters based on nothing more than a Vibe. two days before that, i also attempted to voice-act the entirety of juno, an affair which ended at the 20,000 word mark with a sore throat and the kind of exhaustion one typically wants to sleep in a coffin for 23 years to get rid of. so in all honesty, i did very little editing, which is why there are definitely minor typos and/or mistakes hanging out somewhere on that chunky ao3 webpage. but whatever.

my attitude by july 5th (was it july 5th? or 4th? somewhere around there) was basically whatever. anything so i could get finish this damn thing, chuck it out of the window, and never see another google doc until the next century. i’ve been asked a few times how exactly i wrote at a rate of roughly 2000-3000 words per day for four weeks straight, and my answer has always been this: i died. what died, you ask? my soul. my spirit. my Will To Live. i’m a creature of fixations, and juno was my fixation for june. will i ever be able to do this again? would i recommend this experience to anyone? is god real? the answer to all of the above is probably no. juno was a fever dream, and so is my cat book. and so are all the lattes i had. and so was my 9 am to 4 pm sleep schedule.

but what we made is real. the research, oikawa tooru, the 4 am conversations in which i was like ‘how the fuck do i end this’ and june was like ‘jade proposal’ (the proposal was her idea. all rise for twitter user atsuhinas. she is the mastermind behind all of the Inch Resting moments in this story; i just flapped a korok leaf in her direction and made sure the air circulation was working properly) are real as fuck, and looking back, there’s a lot i’d change, but i’m lazy. and college is starting. and anyway, i did write 93,035 words in just under five weeks, four if you don’t count the week of Editing Hell, so i think that’s pretty cool.

thank you for reading this to the end, and for following us on our journey through the enigmatic taylor swift gundam fic which quite literally consumed my entire twitter account for the five weeks i spent working on it. retrospectively speaking i really was butt-obsessed so i am frankly incredibly impressed with everyone around me for putting up with a Husk of a Man for a month. thank you for doing that. thank you for indulging my vague tweeting, and our butterfly dns, and for reading 93 thousand words of gay fanfiction set in a high fantasy world with epaulettes and galettes. on behalf of june, once again, we are incredibly grateful for all your support.

if you have any questions about specific aspects of the writing process, or anything you’d like to know in general with reference to JUNO, feel free to drop me an ask through my tumblr inbox, or through my curiouscat over here. i’m aware i didn’t cover everything, but there’s frankly too much to put in a tumblr post without passing away somewhere around the 56% mark, so let me know what’s on your mind, and i’ll try to answer that to the best of my abilities. but anyway, before i go, here are some

TAKEAWAYS

one: don’t try to write 93,000 words in five weeks. seriously don’t fucking do it you will end up jittery and sleep-deprived and you will leave all your friends on read for a month. pace yourself. set realistic goals. you wrote 2k this week? that’s fantastic. you wrote 4k in a day? you absolute motherfucker. i hope you’re taking a long fucking break tomorrow. your story will not run away from you, but if you run too fast, you will get tired, and then you will pass away.

two: you don’t have to know everything about your story before you start writing. in fact if you have a single camera shot of two characters holding hands under a rose garden awning, i think that’s fucking wonderful. if you look at big daddy, you’ll realize that my initial plot draft, and all the ones following that, are not perfectly aligned with the final version of juno. i improvised over half of the scenes in this motherfucker, and to be completely honest, some of the improvised scenes were the best. fucking oikawa tooru was improvised out of nowhere. he only got written in way later, around chapter 8 or something, because i realized i needed a plot device and a source of information to keep the playing table from toppling over. i Sat Down one day and was like ‘okay, it’s time to write oikawa into the introduction. because he matters now. he didn’t matter last week but now he does, and soon he’s going to be the fulcrum of the entire story, because it’s like that with oikawa tooru’. it’s okay to change your mind halfway. it’s okay to go back and rewrite entire scenes or segments. it’s okay to highlight 4 pages of fresh, sentimental writing, and hit delete. writing is a fluid process, and you Will make discoveries as you progress through your story alongside your characters. be understanding of that iterative process. be kind to yourself.

three: You Are That Motherfucker. you, me, your dog, your dog’s friend, your dog’s enemy, all of us are that motherfucker. i never thought i’d be able to write anything longer than the great big map, which was a much simpler, linear story in which the other main character did not appear in the current timeline until like the eighth chapter. juno was different. juno was the motherfucker, and i was scared shitless of it, and to cope with that fear joked constantly while writing that it’d never see the light of day.

but it did. it was a rocky process, and i was awake for 48 hours after posting it because of the sheer adrenalin stuck in my skull, but i got through it. and i wouldn’t have been able to do it without june, who stepped in when i flopped over facedown on the floor and dragged me to my feet like the badass friend she is, and without everyone else in my life, who put up with me talking about The Thing that i couldn’t really talk about, but juno’s up there now. forever, or until the internet collapses and civilization goes extinct. and if the nineteen year old clown with the attention span of an ikea armchair and an a level certificate from hell wrote the 93,000 word long thing, so can you. i mean this completely unironically and with every ounce of genuine emotion i can summon from the cracked asshole of my heart.

writing is hard. writing is scary. writing is an investigation of the world around you and therefore, by extension, yourself, and that kind of honesty is freaky. it’s like going skinny-dipping next to the president’s mansion. who’s going to see you? what if they take a photo? what if you lose your spot at university?

but don’t think about that. our world is overrun with stories the way cereal bowls are full of cereal, but it’s those stories that keep us all sane in the disgusting day-to-day muck of reality, so think about your story. what’s haunting you today? what message do you want to leave printed in font size 666 comic sans across the southern hemisphere of the planet? what will you be tomorrow?

a writer. you’re going to be a motherfucking writer.

#my stuff

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