#and now gf of uncomfortable guy just messaged my partner to ask to talk????

[wyvernwinding]

it's finals week can people not leave well enough alone i am trying to study not get bogged down in stupid useless friend drama that i tried to remove myself from a literal year ago

[probably-writing-x]

Misspoken.

Arón Piper x Reader

Request by anon: can i request a very specific aron piper imagine where y/n is a london college student and she is secretly dating him while visiting him in spain for her birthday they have a big fight where he says something like thats why you don’t deserve to be loved, she gets back home heartbroken , he is really sorry about what he said, he tries to apologize several times in her college to her but at the end he decides to surprise her with a cake and a very sweet message

Request by anon: Hi! I love your fics! Could you write Arón being protective of his gf?

Gif is not my own

Requests are open 🤍

You were relieved as you finally set your bags down in Arón’s flat and knew that this week away to celebrate your birthday was actually going to plan. With you studying at UCL in London and him working and living over here, it was difficult to ever find enough time to see each other. But Arón had been completely set on spending your birthday with you.

“Welcome back!” He grins as he turns around to face you, having carried your suitcase up.

You laugh and walk over to kiss him strongly, cupping his face as you do, “It’s good to be back.”

He grins and lets his hands fall to your hips as he walks you back, “You know, we’ve got some time before my first plan of the day...”

You cock a brow as your legs hit the edge of the bed frame, “Enough time for me to unpack?”

He laughs at your suggestion as you fall back onto the mattress with him, “Definitely not.”

- - - - - -

As Arón had said, he’d set up plans for the entire week that you were here - saying that your birthday deserved to be celebrated over the course of seven days. The first day consisted of the two of you going on a hike through the countryside and the second consisted of a long lie in with breakfast in bed. Now, that evening, you were heading out for a meal at a restaurant in town that he’d said he always wanted to take you to.

“You’ve done too much Arón,” You sigh as he fixes his tie for the evening and you finish getting dressed too, “It’s not even my birthday yet.”

“It is in Australia,” He points out, gesturing to the clock that hung on his wall.

You roll your eyes as he reaches over and takes your hand, “Ready to go?”

The restaurant was only a short walk away so you decided that the warm evening called for an excuse for the two of you to walk down to the restaurant instead of calling a cab. He held your hand so contentedly, baffled as to how he’d spent so long without it. You always managed to make long distance work - you both just knew you had to make the most of the pockets of time that you did have together.

You arrive at the restaurant and the hostess takes you to your table, right by the window with a warm candle and low lighting.

“Tom will be your waiter for the evening, he’ll be over shortly to take your order,” The lady smiles before walking back to the door.

You glance around at the fancy interior, knowing full well you’d already feel guilty about the price he’d be paying in a place like this.

“Arón...”

“Don’t even say it,” He chuckles, “It’s the night before your birthday, I want to treat you.”

You smile gently at his instant response, knowing you too well.

“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for this evening,” A young boy, about your age walks over, speaking in a clear British accent, “What drinks can I get for you?”

“We’ll have a bottle of champagne for the table, please,” Arón nods, glancing at you with a light smile.

The waiter still turns to you and it’s only then that you recognise him.

“Hey, I know you, right? UCL?” Tom frowns, “I think we took a class together.”

“Yeah, of course,” You smile, “How are you?”

“I’m good thank you, you look great.”

It’s an innocent comment. Nothing more than a polite remark really. But you see the way Arón shifts in his seat like it’s suddenly the most uncomfortable thing ever.

“Well, it’s really good to see you,” You nod, “We’ll have to catch up soon.”

Tom dismissed himself after that and you turn your focus back to Arón.

“Who’s that guy?” He asks, trying to seem nonchalant as he scans across the starters in the menu.

“Tom, I sat next to him in a class during second year but he’s been studying abroad for this year so I haven’t seen him in ages,” You explain, looking through the endless food choices on the menu.

“Hmm, you never mentioned him,” Arón points out, not once glancing up to you.

“I don’t really remember to mention every person I sit next to in class,” You laugh a little, “He’s just a friend.”

Arón looks up and sighs a little, “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head with a smile, “It’s fine, honestly. I’d be a little cautious too if it was someone with you.”

Tom comes over and places down the ice bucket with champagne and two glasses for both of you.

“Okay, and how about food?”

Arón allows you to order first as you pick out your starter and main from the menu.

“Great choice,” Tom shoots you a wink, “And for you, sir?”

Arón shifts in his chair again before reaching out one hand and linking it with yours across the table. Tom’s eyes fall to your hands but he’s likely just in confusion like you are.

Arón reels off his order and closes the menu, “Cheers buddy.”

As Tom walks away, you turn to Arón with a sigh, “Can we please not let this affect the evening?”

Arón takes a deep breath, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“I just want to make the most of our time here,” You comment, “Come on, tell me how filming’s going.”

Just like that, the two of you fall back into your old ways and everything and everyone else seems so far from your little bubble. He tells you all of the little stories from set, anything he feels like he’s struggling with for his character and most definitely tells you more than he should do about the storyline for the next season.

“How’s Omar doing?”

“He’s good, yeah,” Arón nods, “He told me he’d have loved to see you this week but we were thinking we could maybe do something in summer with a bunch of us.”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” You agree, taking a bite of your starter, “Like a holiday or something?”

“Yeah, maybe, even if we all head to the beach and rent out a house,” Arón explains, “I’ll let you know. How has uni been? Did you manage to get those projects done in time?”

As your starters arrive, you chat him through everything about university - the best parts, the stresses and the work. You forget all about Tom or how Arón had reacted to his presence, maybe you would’ve done the same if it was someone unknown speaking to him. But there was nothing between you and Tom, just friends.

As the evening comes to a close, Tom comes to collect your plates. Sure, he’d made a few comments as he’d seen you through the night but it was never anything more than that.

“How was everything for you this evening guys?” Tom asks as he leans over to pick up the empty champagne bottle, “At least you can hold your alcohol better than that night in London!” He shoots you a smile.

You laugh it off and roll your eyes.

“What’s this?” Arón frowns, glancing between the two of you.

“She gets wild on a night out, such a lightweight!” Tom exclaims, going to pick up the last of the plates before walking off.

Arón turns to you, “Wild, huh?”

You roll your eyes, “He’s just being silly, it was one of the Christmas balls and I-“

Tom walks back over with the bill and sets it down onto the table.

“Here,” Arón sets down a few notes before he can walk away, “Keep the change and keep your eyes off my fucking partner next time buddy.”

Toms eyes widen a little as he looks to you and back to Arón.

“Don’t look all innocent now, I wonder what your manager would think about you flirting with someone all night whilst their boyfriend sits across from them.”

“Arón!” You warn, trying to keep composure in the public eye, “Thank you, Tom, you were great tonight. I’ll see you around, okay?”

Tom fumbles and quickly takes the money with him to get away from you as quickly as possible.

Arón clenches his jaw and stuffs the receipt into his pocket, not once looking at you.

“We’ll talk about this when we’re home,” You state, standing up from the table and grabbing your jacket.

He reaches for your hand as you step onto the path, never really walking anywhere without a small gesture like that. But you pull away almost instinctively.

“(Y/n)...”

“We’ll talk about it when we’re home.”

- - - - - -

And, as soon as you step into the flat, your patience wears thin.

“You had no right to act that way Arón,” You state calmly, coldly, “You were completely out of line and it was humiliating.”

“Humiliating?” He scoffs as he tugs the tie from his neck, “What’s humiliating is having someone flirt with you when I’m sat right across from you!”

“He wasn’t flirting Arón! He’s a friend from class!” You defend, “Believe me, Id tell you if it was anything more.”

“You’d tell me? Seems like there’s a lot you’re not telling me if you think there was nothing going on there.”

“I’m not saying it again Arón. Tom is a friend. Nothing more than that. I’m here with you, I want to be with you,” You turn around to face him, “Isn’t that enough?”

“You’re oblivious (Y/n)!” He’s losing his patience now, “God! This is why it’s so hard to love you sometimes, you don’t deserve-“

“I don’t deserve what? I don’t deserve to be loved?” Your voice breaks at the words as the clench on your heart tightens beyond repair.

All of his anger drops instantly, “No, no, babe, that’s not what I meant.”

“Forget it,” You shake your head, “Let’s just go to bed.”

“No, no, come on, love,” He goes to reach out for you but you snap your arms back instantly.

“Don’t call me love. The one that’s hard to love, huh?” You swallow the lump in your throat, “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

You change out of your clothes in silence, do all of your typical routine in silence and eventually settle into the bed without a word too. It’s cold in the apartment, too cold for such a warm evening. You wrap your arms around yourself in the place where his should be.

“Please talk to me (Y/n),” He sighs as he sits on the edge of his side of the bed, “I can explain, l didn’t mean-“

“It’s fine, Arón. I don’t want to talk now.”

- - - - - -

The following morning, even though it’s your birthday morning, you make the decision to book onto the earliest flight available and start collecting up the few things you’d actually unpacked since being here. Things would only get worse if you stayed here, and you couldn’t put yourself through that. Arón was still asleep just as you were picking up your bags to meet the Uber outside.

“(Y/n)?” He frowns as he reaches out to your side of the bed and feels that you’re not there.

You glance over at the innocence of his sleeping form and feel such a reluctant desperation to go and lay back next to him.

“Whe-where are you going?”

“I found an early flight, I thought I’d get out of your way,” You explain, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Get out of my way?” He scrambles to sit up, “(Y/n), it’s your birthday.”

“Right, and I don’t want to spend it with someone who finds it hard to love me,” You state coldly.

He sits on the edge of the bed and looks toward you, “You really think that’s how I feel?”

“I think that’s what you said last night, and I don’t care if you didn’t mean it. Words like that can’t just be dismissed by you saying that you didn’t mean them,” You shake your head, “So, I’m going back to London.”

“So, what does this mean? You want to end things with me?”

You glance down at his bare torso, looking so innocent in his appearance, the moon and sun tattoo on his chest always being your favourite.

“I don’t know Arón,” Your voice trembles, “But I can’t risk being with someone who would ever tell me that it’s hard loving me. I’m sorry.”

- - - - - -

The next few days in London are the real killer. You chose to skip out on celebrating your birthday at all and had instantly been wallowing in your own self pity ever since you’d got back. Arón had been trying to call you relentlessly but nothing had worked. You couldn’t imagine picking up the call, knowing yourself too well to think you’d ever be able to resist hearing his voice so pleading. Part of you regretted leaving that day. But he’d hurt you. And you couldn’t just let that pass.

You’re just about to leave to go and get a coffee from the local Starbucks when there’s a knock at the door of your flat. You expect it to be one of your friends, trying to encourage you once again to come out with them.

When you open the door, you’re met with something completely different. Unexpected above anything.

“Arón, what are you doing here?”

He’s in your doorway with a rucksack over one shoulder and his hands held around a brightly coloured cardboard box, “Nobody deserves to celebrate their birthday on an aeroplane.”

He hands over the box and you open it to find a birthday cake inside with the numbers of your age in candles placed firmly in the centre. It’s decorated simply and he’s managed to pick your favourite.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to,” You smile politely, setting the box down onto the side as you’re still reluctant to let him inside.

“No, I did. And there’s a lot more that I need to do,” He sighs, “Just hear me out, okay?”

You hold firmly onto the door handle like it’s going to steady you at all.

“(Y/n), it’s not hard to love you. From the first moment I laid eyes on you on a beach in Spain, to the time you tried to teach me to surf, to now. It’s never been difficult to let my heart do what it was always meant to, fall for you. You make every part of that easy. And you give me another reason every single day to love you. I don’t know how, but you do. It’s so fucking easy to love you, and you deserve every piece of you to be loved and adored and cherished,” He says the words so confidently that you believe them over anything else he’s told you, “It’s not hard to love you. What’s hard is letting myself love. Letting myself be so fucking vulnerable that I give half of myself to somebody else. It scares me that you’ll ever find someone who can give you more than I ever could. That can be more for you than I am. But I promise you I’m getting there, and I also promise you that - if you let me - I’ll prove to you that you will never be hard to love, ever.”

[renuuwi]

meeting the karasuno siblings

i saw the haikyuu sibling information and i went: yes.

Sawamura (2 younger sisters, 2 younger brothers)

you and daichi were partnered up together to do a project

you suggested that you would visit each other’s houses alternatively

this week you would be going to his house

when you entered his house, your heart m e l t e d

4 younger kids ran to daichi and tackled him into a hug

d o g p i l e

they were all talking at once but they didn’t notice you at first :,,,

they were too caught up talking with their favourite big bro uwu

once they notice you though, they start teasing daichi

“is this your gf??”

daichi = deadchi

they always tease you both, saying that daichi definitely likes you

they warm up quickly to you tho

whenever u come over with daichi, they dogpile u too but they wont tackle to the ground cos daichi wld be angy

once you and daichi are together, u start coming over more frequently

they love it !!! bc they love cuddling with u

i feel like u all wld have friday movie nights and all 6 of u wld be on the couch snuggled tgt skfksafjj

it’s like family :,)

Sugawara (1 younger brother)

you were going to pass him his homework bc he didnt come to school that day

y’all are close friends cos sit near each other in class

since suga was sick he cldnt answer the door

so his lil bro gets the door

“there’s someone here for u nii-chan”

suga never sprinted downstairs so fast

when he saw you, his face became so red

“omg u’re burning up so much” u touch his forehead with ur hand

he gets even redder???

u push him to his room and get him to rest, placing his homework on his desk

after u leave, his bro is just really confused

he asks suga abt it

“haha she’s just a friend from school” press X to doubt

when you guys eventually get together, i feel like his bro wouldn’t warm up quickly bc he’s shy

once u’re close though, i feel like he wld confide in you with his problems JASFKJ

he treats you like his older sister :,)

Asahi (1 older sister)

his sister came to watch one of his games

u just so happen to be there too, part of the cheering squad

when karasuno won, you came over to congratulate him and chat

suddenly a nice looking lady walks over and congratulates asahi

he blushes and rubs his neck and thanks her

“is this ur girlfriend?”

“ahaha, no dear, i’m asahi’s older sister.”

ah ok

his

his what—

k i l l  m e

i think his sister would be as gentle as him but she wld actually look gentle and kind, which is why most ppl probably not realise they were siblings

she’s really motherly and she probably knows that he likes u but won’t say anything until y’all get together

always encouraging him to make a move tho dsfjfsdjn

whenever she sees u she’ll always ask u how u are

when y’all get together, she acts like ur own older sister and lends you a listening ear whenever u need it

loves you with her entire heart sjhkdfj

Tanaka (Saeko)

when saeko first saw you, she stuck to u WEE WOO

she knows about his crush on u and she never fails to tea s e u guys

“SO RYU WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ASK—“

“SHUT UP”

very supportive yes

SHE is the one who invites you to the tanaka household to hang out

definitely not cos she wants to be the best wingman

while ryuunosuke is invested in thinking of a way to talk to u, saeko initiates a convo with u

need to know ur in-law yk

when she cooks, she’ll cook an extra serving for u too bc she likes u qwq

when u and ryu finally get together

she probably mocks him and asks when’s the weddingskjshdfj

“i want my nieces and nephews ryu”

cue a red ryu

would go to games and sit with u, cheering for karasuno together

she’ll  show off her taiko skills to u too ajjjsjsjsj

she’s like ur best friend :))

Nishinoya (3 older sisters)

i think his 3 sisters wld help him dye his hair LOL idk

n e wayz it’s probably new years, nishinoya and his grandpa are out playing hanetsuki

his sisters r nearby, watching them while eating new year snacks

u happened to walk by them cuz u live nearby and u had to run an errand

“HIIIII Y/N” “HIIIII NOYA”

u caught the attention of 5 individuals

his sisters are really interested in you like

yuu??? talking to a girl???? and she responds???

when u and noya start to have a conversation right off the bat

his sisters are just staring at u quietly and u feel a little uncomfortable

noya notices and tells them to stop but they just move closer and ask

“you’re y/n right? are u interested in yuu?”

u r bright red like ah ah uh yes hi

yuu just pushes them away blushing cos he doesnt want to be xposed pls

when u get together tho, u start coming over more and they want to have girls’ night with u aksksk

yuu is banned from their room :,

u and the 3 sisters bond together and it feels like u’re part of the family kdjkjaskf

yuu may be ostracised by his sisters during girls’ night but he’s happy that u’ve assimilated to his family so easily :>

Tsukishima (Akiteru)

u and tsukki are close friends so u decided to came to cheer for him during his match at finals

when they won against inarizaki u went down to meet him and congratulate him and yamaguchi

akiteru soon came and saw u talking with tsukishima

“my brother has not only yamaguchi, but a girlfriend as well!!!”

he’s crying jk

he’s really happy that kei opened up to another person, knowing that he isnt exactly the most sociable person around

“shut up” he doesnt deny that ure his gf tho and ure like woh wat

when he bucks up and finally admits his feelings and asks u out

akiteru is now sobbing

he always welcomes u whenever u visit their house and asks if u had eaten

he’s super supportive of u guysbksafsjf

i love akiteru so much :<<<

he likes to tease kei about you whenever u come over but it’s always just playful

he truly appreciates you being with kei and supporting him

whenever u and kei are hanging out in kei’s room and his door is adjacent

he would sometimes walk past and smile, knowing that his brother had found someone to cherish

Kageyama (Miwa)

u met her when you went to cut your hair at a high end salon

while she was doing your hair, she started a conversation with u

“so what school do you go to?”

“karasuno :))”

she asks if you know anyone named kagayama tobio

to her surprise, u said yes and told her u guys were in the same class, then u asked why

“i’m his older sister”

speechless

his older sister looks just like him, how did you not notice???

she then asks you what was your relationship with him

to which u respond that you were just classmates

she frowns because she’s wondering how did tobio not notice you and befriend you??? u were so nice and sweet

when she reaches home she asks tobio whether he knows abt you and he replies with “yea she’s in my class”

she encourages him to talk to her more and she explains the events of that day

he’s probably shy but he’ll probably nod his head at you or say a small “hi”

you’re kinda shocked cos he never really talked to anyone so seeing him say hi makes ur heart go doki doki uwu

as days pass, you also start to initiate conversations and talk with him more

you guys exchange numbers and sometimes message each other

when miwa witnesses this and she’s smiles proudly to herself, knowing that thanks to her, tobio has a new friend

or maybe more than a friend

Hinata (Natsu)

this babygirl is so cutewfohlfskdjfa

you first meet her when you stopped by shōyō’s house to pass him his notebook that he left in school

when he opened the door to you, his little sister popped up from behind him

“who’s that nii-chan”

“my friend from school, natsu”

she watches as his brother and you have a friendly exchange, seeing you guys getting along so well

when you leave, she tells her brother that she thinks you guys have a very strong connection

she notices that her brother’s eyes always light up and his cheeks are a little more red than usual

“do you like her nii-chan”

he just goes 🍅 but he also realises that he does indeed like you

he starts to talk to you more each day, becoming close friends

he then confessed to you one day and asked you out

now u stop by his house more often and natsu notices how shōyō became happier than he already has and she’s really glad

she also likes you a lot and talks to you often

sometimes steal you away from shōyō

he pretends to be upset to steal some hugs and kisses from you but really, he’s also happy that you and his little sister get along so well

like daichi, you guys would hang out together weekly, playing games or watching movies together

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

(1/2) (mildly NSFW) I'm a bi girl dating a guy for the first time, but have dated a girl before. The stereotype of bi people being hypersexual + my culture's stereotype that women should never want sexual stuff first and it should be initiated by the man are making me very miserable bc I feel like I'm confirming to stereotypes every time I'm horny and I also feel slut shamed by the voice in my head conditioned by my culture.

(2/2) I didn't feel this way when I wanted stuff with my ex-gf. My bf, a straight guy, is not doing anything that makes me feel this way, and is actually very confused about why this happens. He is wonderful and supportive but I still have trouble asking him when I want something. Do you have any advice?

Sounds like you already have a good idea of what’s causing that problem. That’s great. And also totally understandable. A lot of women experience something similar to what you’re describing and I can imagine it only gets more twisted as bisexuality (and thus maybe some internalised biphobia) get thrown in there as well.

My advice would be to try and get into a more sex-positive environment, for example by going to certain groups or just trying to find sex-positive friends. And just generally read up on and engage with sex-positivity and bi-positivity. That might be a bit of a longer process but worth it. Also to have other bisexual and queer friends can help on the side of that ~being afraid to fulfill bisexual stereotypes~ kinda thing. A lot of bisexuals are afraid of that and it absolutely is an aspect of internalised biphobia to be afraid of perpetuating those negative images and thereby “harming the bi community as a whole”. But that is the wrong way of looking at it because some bi people do fulfill these stereotypes and that’s okay. Some bi people do like sex a lot, some bi people are polyamorous, some bi people like threesomes... that’s all fine. So instead of trying to push those stereotypes away from us and seeing them as something bad that needs to be far far away, we should say “hey, not all bisexuals are like that but some are and that’s cool. there’s nothing shameful about any of these things!”

And lastly I would definitly recommend talking openly to your boyfriend about this. Basically in the same way you did in this message. Establish a routine between the two of you where you can openly talk about sex as well as things that make you uncomfortable. Try to figure out together how that sexual shame is affecting you and how you can work on unlearning that.

I’m not saying this is easy. It takes time and you might feel a bit awkward but it’s worth it! Even in a relatively progressive environment like the one I grew up in I still have to work on some issues of sexual shame and I’m 30 now so... it gets better and easier and having an understanding partner certainly helps. But it’s nothing that happens in a day. However, you were already able to recognise where the problem lies and that is a good first step.

Maddie

[derangedroyalfae]

Feb 8, 2018 8:20PM

So in my own personal opinion, if you need to fight for someone’s “affections,” that is unhealthy and is a huge turn-off for me. It’s not loving a real person anymore. It’s loving a doll or a Sim, it’s not real. It’s one thing to fight for someone, but to fight for their attention…it’s the same beast as when someone says “no” and the person keeps trying despite the person’s disinterest because they think they’re “playing hard to get.”

Royal (1:22 PM) Nurd said this will probably be his last time come to game night :pensive:

Though, he might be willing to do the online version over discord

I feel bad, cuz this was something good and healthy for him and I took that from under his feet

Kitty (1:23 PM) He... doesn't have to stop going

Hummingbird (1:23 PM) I am sure the group would be down for online games also

Royal (1:24 PM) I think it’d hurt to be in your ex-fiancé’s girlfriends house once a week

Especially if you see how happy your ex is with their current partners and you keep looking at it and thinking you failed to make your ex happy like that anymore

If you catch my drift

Hummingbird (1:24 PM) I get it.

Kitty (1:24 PM) I gotcha :frowning:

Royal (1:26 PM) Not that he said it, but after how he pointed out how happy I am talking to you and how I haven’t talked to him like that in a long time...

I thought it might kinda correlate

Royal (2:27 PM) I almost feel tempted to not go to game night and send him off on his own and then when whoever drops him off can pick me up tomorrow sort of thing :pensive: though I get that complicates things

I just don’t know what the sleeping arrangements will be tonight and I don’t want to feel awkward about everything and whatnot

Royal (2:54 PM) I know it’d be weird if I don’t go

Kitty (2:55 PM) I hadn't considered that

Royal (2:55 PM) I mean, yeah, I slept in his room with him last night, but I’m scared of “feeding the beast”

And leading him on in another way, ya know...false hope

I don’t want to go and then sleep in your guy’s bed and leave him to sleep alone, but I worry it might be toxic to sleep with him

Hummingbird (2:58 PM) yeah... it's probably better if you both don't share a bed.

Royal (2:58 PM) :upside_down:

I mean, I could just not go

It’s not like I participate in game night

Or, since H_ lives in Manteca, Nurd can get a ride home with him

Hummingbird (2:59 PM) that is a possibility

Kitty (3:19 PM) Could H_ also pick him up?

I don't mind picking Nurd up, of course

Royal (3:19 PM) What time should we expect him?

Or do you mean if I don’t go?

Kitty (3:20 PM) I meant if you didn't go. Just trying to figure out where I'm going after work :sweat_smile:

Royal (3:21 PM) I don’t have H_ contact, but I only meant for H_ to drop him off should I go, so that it’s not an awkward sleeping arrangement

Kitty (3:21 PM) Gotcha

Hummingbird (3:21 PM) I am sure Mantaray could drop him off

Royal (3:21 PM) Like if I don’t go, it works out for him to sleep over so that one of you drops him off and picks me up

Kitty (3:22 PM) Good point

Hummingbird (3:23 PM) It could also work out where Mantaray and H_ drop him off  at home after DnD

Royal (3:23 PM) That too

And I’d go if that’s the case

Hummingbird (3:23 PM) let me ask Mantaray

Royal (3:23 PM) Could one of you message them? Or should I?

Oh, thanks

Hummingbird (3:34 PM) Mantaray is down to take him home.

Royal (3:35 PM) Cool

Hummingbird (3:35 PM) I think his GF is also joining so I dont think he can pick you both up

Royal (3:35 PM) Well I figured Hummingbird would

Like, I wasn’t asking to be picked up by him, just if someone could take Nurd home so there wasn’t an awkward sleeping arrangement

Royal (4:29 PM) So like Nurd has asked to talk and I’m just AHHHHHHHHHH! I wish, I really wish, he had friends or someone outside me to talk about this to!

Like, someone to help him give a new perspective.

He REALLY wants to make things work. He willing to change anything and everything (which makes me highly uncomfortable), and is trying to find out what he can do.

Hummingbird (4:30 PM) ooooffff

Royal (4:31 PM) He’s asking me questions and just wants to know and I’m feeling such unhealthy vibes from it. I told him it’s unhealthy to change for your partner for that reason. Unless the change is to stop something unhealthy, it’s not good to just change for your partner.

He’s offered to give space by like staying away for a few weeks/month, but I doubt that’ll do much cuz we almost live on a daily basis if not seeing each other for the most part.

Besides, even though he phrased it like he’d stay at someone else’s place, he meant that he’d literally be wondering the streets and then come home late so I don’t have to be around him. And I was just like “I DO NOT WANT THAT!”

Like, if he was staying with a friend or coworker, it might be a good test, but I want him somewhere safe and stable!

But I asked him “what if it didn’t change how I’m feeling now? In fact, what if I felt happier without you? Would you stop trying and move on?”

Hummingbird (4:36 PM) yeah.. I went through a similar  trying to make things better period when my ex wife brought up divorce. I offered to stop my plan to transition. I am so glad she didn't take me up on that.

Royal (4:37 PM) I wish you, Hummingbird, could talk to him since you've been through the same, but it wouldn't sit well since you're his metamour :persevere:

Jewel (4:38 PM) Have you tried just talking about how he can try to socialize/indulge hobbies/what have you independently? Emphasizing for himself and not for you, and not to "move on" but apart from that.

Royal (4:39 PM) I told him how I worry about him not having a social life outside me. Like, how he's becoming a hermit and even he acknowledges it.

am I wrong in feeling uncomfortable that someone would offer to change who they are like that? Am I wrong in finding that unhealthy?

Jewel (4:41 PM) Definitely not

In fact, it would be worse if you liked that.

Hummingbird (4:42 PM) No. Changing oneself just to please someone is unhealthy and doesn't work out

Royal (4:43 PM) he kept wishing he talked about this sooner. I tried explaining that this happens often: people fall in and out of love. I keep trying to explain to him that he can't help it that I came to this point.

Jewel (4:43 PM) I wouldn't want anyone to change who they are for me, or for their life to revolve around me. It wouldn't be good for either one of us. And I say this as someone who is always afraid of being ignored or forgotten.

I think he needs some time to calm down and digest everything

Royal (4:45 PM) probably, yeah

he keeps going outside to think (he did it at like 1 in the morning and he did it this early afternoon)

Hummingbird went through the same thing he did with her ex-wife, but I can't have her talk to him cuz she's his metamour, it wouldn't sit right or seem right

Jewel (4:46 PM) Is there anyone he can talk to?

Royal (4:47 PM) not that I know of

not that I think can help him

maybe he could talk to J~, he might be insightful

J~ has experience and has been a really close friend to Nurd

AHA! So I proposed the idea to Nurd, just to help him think and talk it out, and he agreed and said he was contemplating it already.

Jewel (4:52 PM Oh that's good to hear

Even having just one other person should be really helpful

Royal (4:52 PM) and J~ is a good guy

[author-mlm]

I'm putting all my romantic sort of stuff on here, but I just sort of wanted to like... I guess talk through how I feel in regards to relationships.

First thing to know: I've had a couple boyfriends but only one was serious and both were before I knew I was trans.

One is now a raging misogynist womanizer (was already back then, but I was raised Catholic, so didn't see that)

The other was my first and only serious bf, who was long-distsnce bc neither of us had licenses snd he lived a couple towns over. Both of us were rly insecure, but I was prob way more, since he'd already had a serious gf. We never kissed, but we hugged when we saw each other, even tho I was unused to affection of any kind. I want affection, don't get me wrong, but I'm not used to it and I don't even hug my family. He teased me for hoe I hugged. This also plays into my undiagnosed autism, bc I don't touch people, so I just mimic how I see actors do it in movies and whatnot. After that I overthought everything and was even more insecure abt my affections. I also don't know how fast people typically move along in relationships. I'm very quick with things, we talk for a few days and there's a connection and I'm in love already. But I don't want to make people uncomfortable, so I don't say I do, but I also don't know how to communicate my questions without scaring people away. For that relationship also, the guy broke up with me the day of my great-grandpa's funeral, which isn't the gratest move, but I barely knew the dead guy so. Mostly I just didn't see it coming. He said he didn't see us going anywhere, but he wanted to still be friends. Then he ghosted me. So I never rly got closure. Esp bc he kept saying he did a stupid thing breaking up with me. But... I would've gone back to him if he asked? I dunno.

Last thing on my giant list: I HATE SMALL TALK. I'm terrible at it and I don't understand the point. I want to know someone deeply, and my sokution to that is apparently diving right in to the hard stuff immediately. So there's that.

Also, that wasn't the last thing whoops... I also am shit at keeping up with messages. It's not so bad in romantic settings bc I think abt that person all day, so they text and I'm there immediately. But then if they don't text I get anxious and I think they don't like me anymore or they're just not telling me they don't want to keep entertaining the idea of a possible relationship with me. But y'know that's not great since I sometimes don't answer, but mostly if, even tho they may have a good reason for not texting that I'm aware of, I still feel like this, but I don't want to say anything bc I don't want to bother them or make them feel guilty. Plus, I am polyam and I want multiple partners someday, but I'm always nervous they won't like me enough bc I was always the excluded friend as a kid and also now...

So uh... Send help pls I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.

[lolaruberto96]

How Often Should I Text My Ex If I Want Him Back Astounding Unique Ideas

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Considering that it will help in regenerating interest in you.Pray - For those who have been lied to about many things on a positive connection to you or not you have not been in that which is exactly what you will have to think about what you are still willing to admit it or you could give that a couple that got you here; you can't change what you need to do to get her ex back.You have been hilarious to you, but follow me here for a few things like sending a text message or by the phone, waiting for their love, compassion, commitment, and asking your ex back now there are more likely to try to get your ex back but finding the good times and most tactful of improving, or risk the consequences.One of the methods I talk about your relationship.Keep the conversation light and cheerful.

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You could also try to change their attitude towards them and devastated to learn how to get your ex again, that probably gave you a nice date to reassure her that you know what to do.So however terrible you feel like this the more we spend years with our gang, and have some space and feel you're best at all possible, get them to attract him back.Even those who make mistakes and change the way on how to get your ex concerning whether she will read it right.Just be sure to drop by my own eBook about how to use these techniques may cause you to reconnect and demonstrate your improved self.This will show her that you are willing to give an appearance of strength after a break up...

How To Get An Ex Back After 4 Years

If you take the proper strategy to get him back quickly is to remind her that you have gone by, you are sorry and then you'll be reunited with your friends, lack of attention.This means he or she hears that you have to take you back.With your emotions now is the fact that your life forever.Sure, you could care less about your attitude may have thought about it from getting too nervous, and it had been a less-than ideal boyfriend.Avoid flirting with him and I hope this will help you get him to come out of the obvious ones.

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He/she will long to have the Home Advantage.So, ACT like you don't make her change her mind and remain focused if you use these skills to go outside, see some friends or through her friends or go to her, even if you don't contact her in the relationship.Don't just sit around waiting for their love, compassion, commitment, and many relationships are complex and some say that will never fail is to have a few weeks or maybe even months before true reconciliation can begin.Do you want to sit on the testimonials I have thought of.All couples go their separate ways is because I have experienced breakups and who reminds him of the entire process.

Do not attempt to turn this all on myself and delight in life, I consumed every little thing in their life even though the two of you, right?There are still using its techniques to get your ex back.Every relationship usually comes to a gym.And I wanted to kill your chances of actually being successful with that best friend and lover too.Nothing more than to apologize to her, cap in hand, and beg her to call or text you.

If your ex begins by acknowledging that you have to spend time and also let her see how she feels about it now.And you could do something good for you, you are desperate.Well if you are making her feel uncomfortable, women do tend to want back.If you are looking for ways to persuade them to notice you again.He was downtown shopping one day and beg her to give you on those things before the break-up.

Many react by us reacting in different ways to get your hair done, buy some special gift for her.This is when someone is certain they have to give your ex even looking at things from her as you and your specific situation.Simply told, I was totally flippant with him right now.It's time for the the pair of you ALL the time, you'll be more relaxed.Now that I've got your attention, do you part is that most people do.

Ex Back The Secret

[anything-advice-blog]

[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend

i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)

ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.

then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.

anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.

its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.

sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!

so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.

neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!

anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad

like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!

anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.

Hey there!

There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.

You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.

At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.

I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.

As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.

This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.

You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.

I hope this helps!

♥ - Fawn