#and now almost 3 years later | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flightplan-fox · 2 years

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i listened to it for the first time in years today and i realized…

i cut my hair

i got us out

i found a place that feel like home

#i just….#i used to cry to this song #wishing i could cut my hair #wishing i could leave and find a place that could be home #and now almost 3 years later #i’m doing it #i actually made it #i wish 16 year old me could see me now #i wish i could talk to them #it gets better kid #you figure it out #you find people who love you for who you are #you’re turning out okay #i’m reeling #i never thought about how far i’ve come #cedar talks #Spotify

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lukaherehelp · 5 months

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A garland, quick, I’m dying! Weave it now, sing and moan and sing! For shadows my throat are clouding and again the January light comes in.

Trembling bushes and the air of stars lie between your love and mine, a dense mass of anemones picks up an entire year with a muffled moan.

Revel in the open country of my wound, break apart its reeds and delicate rivulets, drink from my thigh my pouring blood.

But be quick! And then, together entwined, with love-broken mouths and frayed souls time will find us utterly destroyed.

- Sonnet of the Garland of Roses, Sonnets of Dark Love, Federico Garcia Lorca

#i feel you linger in the air #i feel you linger in the air the series #ifylita #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama #listen I was researching lorca and decide to read his queer poems #and they came to my mind as I was reading this one #and it destroyed me even more that Lorca wrote this around 1935 #were he was still pretty much in contac with his “no-homo but intimate straight friend” Rapún #whom died only two years later in 1937 #and Idk the thought that an almost a decade older Yai could have crossed paths with Lorca and this poems before they were hidden away #is 3:20 AM and i should be sleeping but now I'm fully sobbing

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sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes · 1 month

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TSS compilations need to stop popping up in my reccomended I don't want to be back in the fandom 3 years after I left in the year of our lord 2024 I think my brain would explode

#sanders sides #i haven't watched the show in over 3 years #have there been any more full episodes #is the finale out yet #has the orange side been revealed #genuinely asking #it feels weird talking about the show i was obsessed with when i was 11 years old #the one that got me on tumblr in the first place lmao #you know when you can feel an old hyperfixation wrapping around your head again #and you wanna bat it away with a rolled up newspaper #funnily enough I'm still drawn to virgil all these years later #hehe #on another note why does this blog have over 4000 followers #have y'all not read my posts. i used to be a fucking bitch when i was in this fandom lmao #13 years olds are the meanest people in the world #/ref #if i ever posted about tss again the posts i make now would be very different than the ones i used to make #I'd talk differently and about different things #because I'm nearly a legal adult now!!#with an almost working brain!!

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notonlymice · 4 months

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the best girls (my opinion) (movies only)

#emilie de ravin #my things #not only mice but also gifs #reason: i've watched everything relatively short (as slowly as i could🥲) (and wanted to play with fonts x))#(“air force one is down” is technically a miniseries but it's 2 parts under 3 hours so i consider it a movie because i do what i want)#(also the fact that “love and other troubles” must exist somewhere in a decent quality and i can't find it annoys me very much🥲)#i'll probably never fully rewatch most of these (for various reasons) except for “remember me” and maybe “santa's slay” x))#i feel like i have to watch “lost” now but i don't want to be emotionally invested in anything Long #+i didn't avoid watching it when it aired only to start it 15 years later🥲#why everyone back in the day seemed to latch on one particular movie character almost entirely ignoring the rest is still a mystery to me🙃#(though i still know nothing and the party is still over)#follow me for more mediocre gifs and salty opinions on things no one has been interested in for several years now lol #anyem #my anyem/anyelle things

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impulseowlll · 3 months

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Redraw of the first drawing I did of Bart out of costume! @gottagofastgremlinchild I officially made the shoes light up skechers for this updated version of the drawing. Because he does deserve light up sketchers as a treat.

The original drawing from almost 3 years ago.

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donaviolet · 2 months

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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps

#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH #I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream #little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me #woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not #I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel #but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333 #unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother #and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now #but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns #because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group #I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends #I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way #and im afraid he still thinks we should be together #meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them #talked a bit too much ooopssss #Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again #anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more #random stuff #chaos #friendship #violet rambles

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callumbabe · 2 months

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(Spoilers) !!!!! Ep. 6 — moment of truth

THAT TRUTH AT THE END OF THAT EPISODE IS GONNA MAKE ME END IT ALL 😀🔫

he wanted to kiss her ever since she came back to his life I- they really make me miserable

#tdp spoilers #the dragon prince #rayllum #tdp callum #CALLUM YOU BITCH WHY MAKE ME SUFFER BEFORE MY SHIFT #the fact that I have only 3 episodes left but I can’t watch till later is gonna kill me #also in tears that I haven’t seen them truly kiss almost 5 years ago when I was in 8th grade #now I’m going to be a freshman in college is crazy #tdp rayla

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scattered-winter · 3 months

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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3

#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people #going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry #but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad #sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man #i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did #i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space #with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it #and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that #so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also #that parts important #idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to #what how people who have really been abused have had to go through #but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective #not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here #bc that shit is a whole other can of worms #i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE #anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro #like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3 #i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend #winter speaks

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zafiro-anyejo · 2 months

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My brother dragged me to see Deadpool 3. Didn't like it very much. But some of the jokes were funny. Idk man. I'm so tired of multiverses and nothing really meaning anything and characters just getting sidelined/being told things and not shown. Have some heart ffs. Make me feel something. Ugh.

#my brother and partner really liked it though so that's good i guess #deadpool & wolverine #deadpool 3 #the emotional beats did not hit for me at allll #i almost cried at the credit reel because it showed some cute bts footage of the xmen franchise #xmen was so important to me. way more important than marvel/avengers #i'm just kinda weary #also my partner and i ate too much popcorn so we felt sick after #my brother always insists on getting the extra butter #i feel like i can't say what i really feel about a movie around him because he'll try to argue his [pont and act like he is soo right #love him though #think i'll focus on watching more independent films now #have not seen a superhero movies in years. feel like i didn't miss much #delete later #same reason i have trouble with this film is the same reason i have a hard time with Doctor Who #trying to act sooo smart with multiverse stuff when really it's just too convoluted and silly

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carcarrot · 4 months

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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again

#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3 #but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened #i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny #and i had to get a car service home and everything #and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that #and then went back to work wednesday. stupid #it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk #other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show #but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons #not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show #and the merch line was always super long anyway #what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal #one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid #and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time #i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage #adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg #anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!

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icantalk710 · 2 years

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They should invent a snooze button that gives you more sleep while it's still the time you want to wake up at 🥱

#ore no kao #happy last friday of 2022 :)#wanted to sleep earlier then some BOTW later made it 3-ish #almost noon as i drafted this--now 1 post-shower--and i wanted to be up at 10 😩#[maybe woke up in a sliiight mood lol]#[let's see what tumblr thinks of photo no.2 ig 🙃]#[everyone gets one (1) year-end trap of thirst there bye]

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doomzday-zone · 4 months

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Why do you stick with old blender, it's literally free? 🫵 👁️👁️

my computer is old as fuck<33333 im working with the limitations of the beautiful windows 8 OS<333333 and blender 2.79 just so happens to be the only latest version that had windows 8 support and runs good and doesnt lag every two seconds<33333333 also im just used 2 it. if you can do everything the same as the newer versions(albiet the newer versions make it a little easier ig besides making all the shortcuts n shit 10x worse :skull:) then why change it lol..... i havent genuinely run into an issue i couldnt find a workaround for or couldnt do w a slightly out-of-date technique. ik our world is all about tech upgrades these days but like if professionals before me haved used the same shit to make better products thats good enough for me! windows 10 isnt better than windows 8 you can just play bigger games and get viruses easier etc<3

#my computer is almost 20 years old......... thats not much 2 ppl obv but for a computer????/ in this day and age????? i love her<3333 i love #my old computer im so tired of tech elitism im so tired of abandonware and nobody being able to upkeep older tech....#sighs. anyways. this is supposed 2 be about blender. JBNJJKBKJYB #IM VERY. PASSIONATE. about dinosaur computers :3 and the likes :33 #if i have 2 use windows its old and hogey or else<3 #ANYWAYS !!!!#yea :3 even if i can get a computer w a bigger OS ill probs still stick to 2.79 the way you do stuff in later versions is sooo weird n fuck #d up...... evil even :( like we hgad it so good whyd we make everything actually worse. eugh...#im a blender 2.79 truther and defender o7 #i might even fuck around in even earlier versions now too who know<33 #world so beautiful and full of programs from 20+ years ago<33 #asks #lamby #blender 2.79

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kirstielol · 1 year

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my birthday's not until tomorrow but we celebrated it last night with my parents 💕 we sat outside all afternoon and drank lol. i got preeetttty drunk 🥴 my dad did too which was hilarious. we bbq'd steaks and had cake. such a fun night.

#cake says 'googie' which is a stupid nickname my dad calls me 😂#apparently when i was like 2 or 3 years old my dad asked me what my name was and i said googie #so 🤷‍♀️ that's what my dad calls me now even almost 30 years later lmaoo #so dumb #personal

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kittlyns · 4 months

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A hard pill for me to swallow lately has been that, despite everything, I'm probably the best version of myself that could've existed. And that's not really a comforting thought.

#it's a special kind of doomed imo.#every other path most likely led to something worse #maybe it's pessimistic to think of it that way. maybe I should be more grateful that it isn't worse #but it's hard to find that within me atm #the best of bad outcomes doesn't mean good. it doesn't mean I'm happy.#it just means every other option would have been more miserable. and it's disheartening to think like that ofc #and I know the logic is flawed. but I know myself and even with the advantages I have I'm unable to make anything of myself #had I chosen differently it would only be worse. I'd still be impoverished. I'd still be depressed.#I might just also be stuck in a cult and married w kids in the middle of fucking nowhere wisconsin on top of it all #<- that's the worst case scenario. probably. really hard to say #biggest bullet I've dodged yet tho. completely unintentionally too.#another hard pill to swallow: sometimes the things we want the most WILL ruin your life and it's a blessing when it falls through #unfortunately you don't get to know this until years later #as you watch your ex best friend marry a man almost 2x her age and birth kids she never wanted into this world #and then you're like OHHHH that would've been my fate... I get it now 😐#still. there's no relief in the realization because while you would've been miserable w a shitty husband and 3 or 4 kids #you are in fact still miserable without them. but oh well.#I would say 'anyways. I just need to go to the beach.' but honestly. I haven't felt the desire to do anything at all lately.#we're past the point of letting the sand and waves heal me. we're almost past the point of needlessly venting online!#there's so much I usually would vent about here but I have hardly had the urge to do so.#I'm just tired. life has drained me dry. my heart aches constantly and I barely know why

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dbphantom · 4 months

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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open #i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed #AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA #i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE #I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table #yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante #to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1 #despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat #(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of #it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc #[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic #since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them #its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT #later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag #and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D #it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in #any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other #also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move #because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc #well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c #(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O #cruddy rambles

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arcaneyouth · 5 months

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it is So Weird how working on my comic makes me feel like i have more free time. and gives me more free time. logically, working on 3 comic pages a week would mean i have Less Time. but no. despite everything, i'm getting more done and able to use my time better now that i'm working on comic pages again. what the hell is up with that.

#it's probably the structure and routine tbh i've been doing this for 6 years #i feel way less stressed about all the stuff i have to do than the 2 months i wasn't working on the comic #and arguably i have more to do now!!!!!#there's just so many little things that working on my comic helps me with. vital part of my daily and weekly structure #1) gives me a Main Goal to focus on every week and it's a goal that i know is achievable #2) gives me things to do almost every day that i am able to get started on right away and then will have free time later when i'm done #3) on days i'm not working on it i feel more comfortable doing things for fun or completing smaller tasks #4) because it's a weekly schedule i actually know what day it is now. completely lost track of the days before. made me really scared tbh #5) actually allows me to relax. the way i make pages means it's a lil bit mindless half the time. which is nice #i spent most of the last 2 months when i wasn't making comic in bed. because i had nothing else to do #now i am not doing that! because even when i'm not working on pages i have the motivation to do things!#this is an ironic post to make when i've spent like 6-7 hours today just playing fathomverse #but that's the thing!!!! instead of hating myself for doing that i still feel like i can get shit done!#also i already knew all this about making comics and how i function but. man idk how to put this #i spent the last 2 months struggling to do fucking Anything #and it was after i was so sure i could handle taking a break from the comic #and it was after lots of people have told me i need to put the comic down and get a job #or do anything that isn't making a comic #i have been working on the comic again for 9 days. and already everything feels more manageable #i literally Need to have projects like this. if i dont i will lose my mind. nobody tell me i need to do other things with my life ever agai

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