#and now I dye my hair blue so I guess I'm back to my roots

[cookinguptales]

thinkin' about that post I wrote about writing vampires and low blood volume when it's something that I have myself, and how you have to be careful about skin discoloration because it tends to creep people out in a way you don't want

and like I just felt the need to tell you how I got one of two embarrassing childhood nicknames

so apparently when I was born I looked bad

like

real bad

they needed forceps to yank me out so I was already kind of weird-looking because of that but then I was also like

BRIGHT FUCKING BLUE

according to dad, I was literally sky-blue with a shade of gray and I just looked straight-up dead and he was internally panicking but he didn't want to upset my mom (who hadn't seen me yet) and the doctors were being calm which helped him be calm too, and he said apparently after rubbing me down pretty vigorously I eventually pinked up and started crying and all was well

(though I guess a harbinger of things to come)

anyway, this is why my childhood nickname was

smurfette

my dad still calls me that sometimes, too. like it's been 32 years and I still get smurfette'd sometimes, especially when my skin is turning interesting colors again.

FUN FACT: my baby pictures from the hospital were "lost" and they had my parents come in a few days later to retake them, and both of my parents believe that I looked so fucking horrific as a newborn (between the forceps marks, the weirdly shaped head (because of the forceps), and the skin color) that the nurses purposefully destroyed the photos.

I'm cute now tho!!

anyway my other embarrassing childhood nickname was "strawberry butt" but I guess I'll just let y'all use your imaginations on that one.