#and not yknow several hours long streams

[personalzombie-tv]

ive been thinking about the welcome home update since last night and i gotta say;

i haven't had this much fun with an online horror project since marble hornets

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

Do you think Kino would be a famous game streamer for the recognition he so craves. Feel free to throw in any drug discussion to.

woahhh i haven't given much thought to kino to be honest. i tend to make him a streamer in most of my AUs simply because it feels like he Would. when we were on a call on monday, somebody said kino would be a streamer but have no followers and i think that's pretty fuckin funny.

i'll talk about the concept some more, but // drug discussion and mentions of SA warning

and while we're on the topic, i have a kino playlist here.

kino, as he does in canon, does fucked up shit for attention. like, there were several times in different lost eden routes where he complained because people were paying attention to other people and not him. i specifically remember in laito's LE where they're giving laito some intervention and kino is like ??? EXCUSE ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

so yeah, kino wants attention. but i think it's negative attention he wants. he thrives off negative attention because to be honest, i don't think he'd tolerate positive attention because he doesn't believe it.

as a streamer, if he got famous, he'd definitely be well-known on other platforms. i think he'd have a youtube account, instagram, i can imagine him making really problematic tiktoks too. he would stir shit about himself. he'd start rumours about himself and then think it's funny when allegations catch up to him. but yknow, there's nothing people can say to insult him which he'd be offended by.

we do see this in canon too. pretty much the only way of hurting kino's feelings is to ignore him. to not pay attention to him. maybe if you bruised his ego by mentioning something sensitive he'd be hurt. but when other characters insult his actions, or when yui reprimands him, he pretty much takes it as a compliment. it's one of the reasons i think kino is the cuntiest character there is.

but yeah, as an online personality, he'd stir shit up because negative attention is good. like that quote in i don't care by fall out boy, "i don't care what you think, as long as it's about me" - that's kino. in fact i can imagine him having that in his tiktok bio or something.

honestly, kino is a pretty shitty person and he's definitely not above sexual harassment/assault even. it's pretty shit but i can imagine a scenario where there's SA allegations against him but does he care? no. people still come to watch his streams and listen to him insulting the other players for making his team lose or something (i'm not a gamer can you tell)

drugs, hm. i never thought much about kino as a drug. i guess there's more vulnerable characters but i can imagine kino also doing stupid shit while on drugs. probably get caught on video doing it.

i realised a few days ago that a lot of the times when i write about the topic of drugs, i talk about them from a negative point of view. and i want to make it clear than about 90% of all drug experiences people have are positive. my experiences with recreational drugs are very positive. it's just that when handling vulnerable, very unstable characters, it's unlikely that they'd manage to use recreationally.

with that said, i don't imagine kino getting hooked on one drug. i think he'd use a mix of uppers. probably mdma, coke, and some psychedelics here and there. maybe he'd abuse speed every now and again in order to do a 24-hour stream or something.

but in general, i don't think kino needs drugs to get his dopamine fix to fill that hole inside him. at least not in an AU where he's a famous streamer making himself a problematic icon.

[beccas-a-cipher]

What is Up With LuLu? (Theory)

Originally posted: 21 September, 2018

Ironically this theory isn’t outdated, it just needs to be reworked with new evidence.

I wrote this at a ridiculously late hour and the first line was “I guess this is a theory I guess” I should NOT write close to midnight

Like the title says it's 11 PM on a Thursday and there was just a Magiclicas talk show and now I'm all spooled up about LuLu

She's so inconsistent!

Like, I know she's meant to be that way, but at the same time, some things literally DONT ADD UP.

First off, when Kai was leaving the Winter Ball he ran into her and called her Misuki. I can understand her nickname being LuLu, the name doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is that in one of the following episodes, LuLu implies she knew Kai in the past as a Cipher (and as a close family friend?) and that she seemed rather unsure about Kai being a Spero

1. This means Kai joined the Spero fairly recently, unless it's been several years since they last saw each other. I don't quite remember the details of that conversation tbh

2. This means LuLu doesn't know she's a Spero herself at this point in time?!

When Kagae was first introduced (I'm fairly sure it's actually spelled Kage but is people can’t spell Ichiro I'm just spelling it pheonetically) we all noticed she had the same streaks of pink and purple hair as LuLu, but her hair was grey. I remember asking Jakey about it in an after party stream, and he said that it was a combination of the lighting in the Spero hideout and the shaders and that they decided to do her skin differently as a Spero

But as shown in the finale, either Principal Laurens hooked LuLu up with her wig store or Kagae's hair color literally changed before our eyes into LuLu's. So there's clearly some unanswered questions about this still.

Not to mention that LuLu and Kagae don't seem to be aware of each other. LuLu doesn't realize she's been acting strange, only that she has periods of amnesia and strange exhaustion before Kaya discovers... whatever she technically discovered because episode 23 threw all that out the window.

At the same time, Kagae doesn't know HOW she knows which potion is the one needed to treat Jax while he's having complications in the demone scuro ceremony. But LuLu is rather excellent with potions, so although LuLu's knowledge comes through subconsciously to Kagae, she doesn't realize what is actually going on.

From this recent livestream (which I only caught the last minutes of) Jakey said that Ichiro does care for LuLu, although whether it's for the potential of the White Stone or if it's a true father-daughter relationship it wasn't exactly clear. But Jakey DID say that LuLu's mother is Ichiro's wife?! (That honestly surprised me but alright) so despite all this, LuLu HAS to know who her father really is, right? But then how would she not really know she's a Spero? Is Kagae the one he calls his daughter so that's why she's the Spero, and LuLu the Magiclica spy in Everston?

I also just realized why Ichiro and Reina pretended to be LuLu's parents during the musical I guess THAT makes sense now...

I had one theory on this but thinking about it now I have several-

1. LuLu has schizophrenia (a multiple personality disorder where often personalities don't remember what the other has done, or something to that effect) this would explain her not remembering her time as Kagae, or Kagae as LuLu.

2. Ichiro has some sort of spell on her that as Kagae, she is a Spero and is loyal to him and that is why at the reveal in episode 23, Ichiro said what he said how he said it and LuLu's reaction to this, which for me was hard to interpret. Was she confused? Silently guilty? Determined? I couldn't tell. It's kinda like all the kiss scenes with their eyes open XD

Also this could also explain that Ichiro was shown to use LuLu's shadow ability to possess Melissa

3. LuLu/Kagae have two souls in one body. Idk how this could happen, but it kind of seems like it could fit. And considering the particle scene at the end of episode 23, if the theories that there's gonna be some sort of Chase/Ichiro fusion (even though it's confirmed Ichiro will not be seen nor heard again (alive) in the series) is it not possible that LuLu and Kagae died in similar ways to Chase and Ichiro and their remains fused to create this sort of split-lived person?

4. Ichiro has managed, along with both of the previous theories somewhat, to make LuLu and Kagae think they are to completely different people. LuLu is a Magiclica going to Everston Academy and lives with her normal-enough mother and father, while Kagae is a Spero who is a devout follower of Ichiro and is often his right-hand woman. It could even be that Ichiro has convinced the Kagae side that he isn't even her father, only her superior, to further differentiate the two lives. It would be cruel and evil thing to do, especially to his own daughter and would most definitely cause a serious existential crisis and probably some sort of depression, but Ichiro has also been shown several times to be very cruel to get what he wants; threatening Melissa's family and friends, giving Kai a horrible test to convert Quinston unwillingly, and trapping Mr. Foley in his own portal for all eternity (or until Ichiro died :D)

Or maybe I'm insane since it's 11:35 at night and I've missed some serious details

Although all I do have to say for sure is that the truth about LuLu has been hinted at for a VERY long time, we just never knew it!

I added this later, it should really go up at the part where I first mentioned LuLu’s parents but it’s too much work to copy/paste more than one paragraph in the Tumblr mobile app :/

In the episode "Home," we get a glimpse of LuLu's home life.

AND THERE IS BOTH ICHIRO WITH BROWN HAIR AND EYES AND HER MOM. AND LULU. IN THE SAME ROOM.

And yknow that's fine, EXCEPT-

Ichiro is a full-blooded Magiclica.

LuLu is a miscela

Both of them have powers

But for LuLu to be a miscela, her mother would have to be a Cipher.

Cipher-Magiclica relationships are illegal

So either at home LuLu and Ichiro pretend to be Ciphers (which STILL wouldn't make sense because LuLu is enrolled in Everston as a Magiclica?) or her mom is pretending to be a Magiclica, which is a pretty hard thing to pretend to be if you're not a Spero

And I'm 99% sure she doesn't know her daughter and husband are Spero because their appearances are different and they go by different names and in the scene they said they were going to a convention when they were actually going to the Spero Hideout

So I could say she knows and is alright with their illegal activity but I don't think that's the case.

So Ichiro, lying to your wife isn't good. I don't know HOW you're pulling it off, but when she finds out, you're chopped liver.

Oh wait you're already chopped liver you got owned by Sarah never mind

————————

Word count: 1020

To this day I still have these questions

[garden-ghoul]

more HoME misc

“in which the ghoul pages desperately through a 3500 page document with no search function, looking for the shibboleth of feanor”

I’m not blogging leithian mk 1 any more but I just want to note that Chris included a detailed list of all the things that are long and tall, as an end note. He like, spent his entire life trying to decipher Johnald’s notes, so he could bring to us the faintly-pencilled name and origin of Nan, the giant of the south.

As I got lost somewhere in the beginning of “the tale of turambar” I started wondering why so many of our human heroes are intimately involved with Doriath, “the secret kingdom no-one can go into.” If we add Gondolin (”the other even more secret kingdom that REALLY no-one can go into”) I think ALL of the human heroes of the Silmarillion are involved with one of the two. Not counting heroes like Haleth who tragically didn’t get any dialogue. Is it just that the only humans who are heroes are the ones Special enough to trip into hidden kingdoms? Fate junk? Probably fate junk.

I was sort of skimming through Turin stuff and my eye was caught by Saeros (”Orgof”) insulting Turin’s... uncombed hair? Cute. In this one Turin throws a cup at him, killing him instantly, and everyone just kind of sits there silently at the overturned table as he runs out of the hall.

Turin laved his hands in the stream without the doors and burst there into tears, saying: "Lo! Is there a curse upon me, for all I do is ill, and now is it so turned that I must flee the house of my fosterfather an outlaw guilty of blood -- nor look upon the faces of any I love again."

Aw, Neithan. You neith’d yourself, dude.

I also want to mention (again?) that I really like Melkor being well known as a guy with an actual kingdom, where people worked. Granted, they were all Thralls, but he seemed a lot more like all of the other immortals who established kingdoms in Beleriand. I didn’t get the impression in the early drafts that like Everyone Was United Against Him. He was just an asshole neighbor? (later, in the Nauglafring story, we actually get the line “and there was peace with Melkor.”) This makes me suspect that the Porous Shadow of Doom overlaying the world in the final Children of Hurin would be a lot less huge and pervasive. But I’m not actually going to read it, just skim it. It was like 8 liveblogs long, or something, geez.

A manifestation of this lessened Porous Shadow of Doom is that when Turin returns home it’s late summer rather than winter; the grass has grown tall around Morwen’s house, and when Turin makes it to Brodda’s hall he doesn’t even pretend to be cowed, he immediately starts fucking things up. So, in that way, the original version of CoH was a lot less about Depression.

Also in this version Nienor doesn’t lose her ability to speak, so when Turin finds her and names her Niniel she can actually say “no don’t call me that.” He calls her that anyway. When she goes to live with Turin’s friends in Brethil they all constantly say “Would that the Valar would lift the curse on Niniel!” I can only aspire to be that obviously cursed, yknow.

AH. AT LAST HERE IS THE NAUGLAFRING. I can’t even remember if I’ve read it before but I Have Been Waiting.

I’m taking a break here to eat dinner because not eating makes me really stupid. Have you eaten recently? Are you stupid? If so, maybe have a snack! Sometimes I wish the internet would periodically remind--oh, no, I have a Personal Device for this exact purpose. Mm. peace out.

I’M BACK. After reading a couple paragraphs of this I realized I have read it before, but I didn’t blog it because I was procrastinating on CoH. Hurin has brought a bunch of cursed treasure to Tinwelint (do you like my horrible mixture of “canonical” and “noncanonical” names) and departed without taking any, in a huff. Then everyone in Menegroth starts murdering each other over this treasure; Tinwelint wins, and his wife (now named Gwenniel; I don’t understand how Tolkien could fail to get attached to ANY of the names he put in his first drafts) soothsays to him that he should dump it in the river because it is TRIPLE CURSED. He does, but then he stares at it for a while because, cursed. Gwenniel tells him that this isn’t even worth a third of what a Silmaril is, but like, are Silmarils useful for anything? Do they, strictly speaking, have any worth beyond the prestige value associated with possessing something super evil rare?

Some visitor says that it’s a crime to let all that gold go to waste when it could instead be used to make pretty things (natch, he is a guy who hangs out with Naugrim) and Tinwelint looks at his jewelry and is like “dang. I am a king and I do not look NEARLY that fine. please make something nice for me.” but he also grabs the elf guy and takes him hostage in a really impolite way. I have seen a lot more polite hostage-takings in the Silmarillion! Some so polite that the hostages didn’t even notice!

There’s a bunch of stuff here that I actually really enjoy, mostly descriptions of treasure, but I’m not going to blog it because I’m too lazy. I just want to note that I really enjoy the descriptions of treasure made by the Naugrim (in captivity). It’s very much the same impulse that led me to page for hours and hours through the LotR prop jewelry recreations magazines that my household for some reason received monthly when I was young.

Mm and then there’s a bunch of naugla/elda murders that I don’t care about. UGH and halfway through this story he changed Melian’s name back to Gwendelin. STG Tolkien!! Later someone is trying to kidnap her and we get this great bit:

Then said Gwendelin: "Thief and murderer, child of Melko, yet art thou a fool, for thou canst not see what hangs over thine own head." By reason of the anguish of her heart was her sight grown very clear, and she read by her fay-wisdon the curse of Mim and much of what would yet betide.

Then did Naugladur in his triumph laugh till his beard shook, and bid seize her: but none might do so, for as they came towards her they groped as if in sudden dark, or stumbled and fell tripping each the other, and Gwendelin went forth from the places of her abode, and her bitter weeping filled the forest. Now did a great darkness fall upon her mind and her counsel and lore forsook her...

The moral of the story is there’s a fine balance of anguish you have to maintain to be really good at seeing the future. IMO it’s probably “really sad but not depressed.” Oh um also, Huan is there. He works for Tinwelint now. I’m extremely offended, because this means Tolkien killed him EXPRESSLY because he was dating Luthien and Beren in the final lay. He killed Huan just so we couldn’t have nice things! And to make a point about Huan’s death metaphor, I guess. It was very artful, but I’m still mad we can’t have gay.

There’s some more murders. The asshole with nice jewelry is haunted by Gwendelin’s Glare. Oh! Luthien actually gets to meet her mom again! Haha Gwenelin says not to wear Nauglamir because it is SUPER CURSED but Beren is like “don’t worry about it! The Silmaril is so holy it cancels out all curses!” Which reveals a severe misunderstanding of what a Silmaril is, I think. Unless the Silmaril curse is stronger than all the other curses and it eats them, maybe? Like helpful strains of E. coli. Except then it mutates into a harmful strain of E. coli again--no, I’m sure there’s a better biology metaphor for this that I’m not thinking of. it was a harmful strain in the first place.

After this there’s more murders, this time feat. some Feanorions. And with that (skipping the story of Earendel) we have come to the end of Lost Tales pt 2! Next one is Lays of Beleriand, which I am going to attempt to skip because I have read all the good ones already. But I have to skip it manually so we’ll see I guess.

[peachy-political]

Thing is though when I game I do like several hour long gaming sessions at a time and I can't really stream for 4 hours long, yknow??

can you pls start streaming your games like i wnt that accent-

I-

You want me to stream? For my accent?

I,,,, I mean if I did stream I wouldn't be using a face cam and I'd only do voice overs and I can't guarantee I'd be that funny and also I don't wanna stream when no ones gonna watch so mmmm not sure i will do this but we'll see, never say never