#and not to be mean or anything because it's makes me sad too but i think that if there's like cameos of the OG characters

[basil-eats-rocks]

Hello! I'm not actually just talking about current policy, I'm talking in general about the state of contemporary American politics. I'm currently in college studying to get my degree in order to GET a higher paying job. What makes that harder is that I am physically disabled and also being treated for several chronic illnesses while working two jobs. I'm willing to bet that I work a lot harder than you, because I have to. I always have. You don't have to agree with me, not even a little! But at least do a liiiittle more research before claiming I'm jobless lmao. And maybe saying that a 21 year old has "wasted their life" is a bit dramatic and silly.

My post is about the cost of living being too high, not whining about Republicans. Every president of this century, regardless of what side of the aisle they stand with, has supported corporate lobbying. That is fascism. That's what that actually means. I'm criticizing the current administration because they're expediting the exploitation of working class Americans, something Dems did a lot more slowly.

MAGA is fascinating because I'm watching this Battered Woman Syndrome develop in its supporters. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a similar faction of people blindly supporting Democrats. But with you guys....it's not even frustrating. It's just sad.

You follow a person who is so blatantly in favor of all these terrible things, and you believe them when they tell you that the history books warning you were falsified, despite real world experiences by hundreds of people who are still alive. You believe them when they tell you that we're sub-human, despite living in communities alongside us. You are told which news sources are trustworthy and which ones aren't and that we control the weather and the banks and Hollywood and medicine. You are told that we are indoctrinating your children by teaching them about the good and bad things our country has done. You are told that all these groups of people are out to get you because certain politicians want to become a savior for you so they can stay in power and enact institutions that wipe out anything they deem threatening to their way of life. You are told to not believe your own eyes and ears, that every bit of evidence that cracks at your worldview's foundation is doctored or a conspiracy. You are told to only ask questions that act as a "gotcha moment" instead of learning about it for your own intellectual growth. You are, like so many political dickriders, so tied into a group of like-minded people that it's frightening to consider leaving that, which is exactly what you say about anyone who disagrees with you, and you're afraid of shattering that already fragile belief.

How do you believe anything at all?

do you actually realize how fucking dystopian it is that I'm donating plasma every week just to afford breakfast?

Or have we all become so desensitized to current displays of fascism that we've adopted the VERY naïve belief that "if there aren't bodies in the street then we're not in danger?"

[ssaaaronmontgomery]

thoughts about mean stepdad!hotch who is polite to everyone other than you... lashing out angrily because it's the only thing that can stop him from bending u over and taking what he wants from u, filling u up with his hot cvm over and over again 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Stop Ignoring Me

Warnings: Smut, p in v sex, mean!stepdad!hotch (both consenting adults), mentions of oral sex (fem!recieving), mentions of Hotch masturbating and thinking of reader, reader gets bratty, I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 850

Pairing: stepdad!hotch x fem!reader

A/n: Oh my god YESSSS. I got very carried away at some point when I was working on writing my thoughts out 😅. At some point it turned into a blurb so that is what I'll count it as. I hope you enjoy it 🫶. The writing may be a bit off because it was originally going to be a thoughts post but I am leaving it as is.

Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @criminalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch @canuck-eh @luvehotch @callm3c0nfus3d @ivyflowers13

Hotch: @14buddy22 @pastanoodles11 @htchnr

For this post only: @queenofvelaris @itsneverlupus2

Let me know if you want to be added to my tags 🫶

*NSFW MDNI*

It is how he keeps you at a distance so that he doesn't rail you until you can't think anymore. You never understood why he was always so mean and cold to you but would turn around and be so nice with his voice so soft to everyone else. Sometimes you wonder what you did wrong to feel like he hated you so much. It made you sad. The one person you had eyes for would hardly even speak to you. He wouldn't look at you. But little did you know that if he did look at you that his eyes would wander, and he would end up hard in his slacks before leaving for the BAU every single morning.

And then there was one time you overheard him moaning in the room he shared with your mother. She was gone for that weekend, so it was easy to imagine what he was doing. You shouldn't have listened, but you did. And that's how you found out that he was fucking his fist to the thought of you. Your name falling from his lips sounded amazing, but it shocked you. Not only because he's your stepdad but he treats you like you barely even exist.

So, when you realise that he must be acting that way to keep you at a distance, you decide to try getting him to warm up to you. You do everything you can. You make him a drink when you know he will be home from a long case. You make him food sometimes. He loves how it tastes but he acts like it's just okay. You practically throw yourself at him multiple times, but he pretends that that's not what is happening and completely denies you any sliver of interest. When being over-the-top nice doesn't do anything to get that scowl off his face, you start to be a brat instead.

You start to be just as rude to him. You ignore him and you pretend that he's not there. You don't greet him like you used to whenever you saw him. You stop with making him any drinks or food. You act as disinterested in him as possible. He notices it immediately. And he does not like it. He liked the attention you would show him, but he knew he had to ignore you, or he wouldn't be able to help fucking you until you were screaming his name at the top of your lungs

It wasn't until you came home with so little clothing and smeared lipstick that he finally ended up breaking. He pulled you into his home office and asked where you had been looking like that. He asked if you were out fucking someone. You weren't, but clearly the show you had put on had worked. You smeared that lipstick yourself just to get this reaction from him.

"All this time I've tried so hard not to fuck you and fill you with cum. I've tried not to stare too long. I've held myself back from tasting you. You have no idea how many times I have thought about doing things to you, how many positions I've thought about taking you in. I can't decide which to start with. Any ideas?" His voice is so deep and dark and it makes your knees weak. You just stare at him with wide eyes. He chuckles and you think it sounds condescending. "I think I know where to start." And then he drags you over to his desk, clears it, and yanks your clothes off before bending you over it. He presses his crotch against your dripping heat and you can feel how painfully hard his is in his slacks that he has yet to change out of after work. You know that means he was doing paperwork as he waited for you to come home.

"You feel what you do to me? You're soaking wet. You like this? You knew exactly what you were doing, hm? Trying to piss me off enough to get me to fuck you?" All you can do is whine and nod.

"Wanted you to stop ignoring me." You manage to pout at him You can hear him undoing his slacks and you imagine him pulling his cock out. You feel his tip begin rubbing through your slit and then it's prodding at your entrance. He finally pushes into you completely without much warning. He feels big, but not too big. He doesn't give you any time to adjust before he starts pounding into your pussy with no mercy. He spends the rest of the evening fucking you over and over again. He is taking all of his pent-up frustration out from not being able to have you and he's not sure when he'll get to have you again. When he's not fucking you, he is eating you out until he gets hard again. By the time he's done with you, his cum is dripping down your thighs and you both know that you're ruined for any other person, and you know it will happen again at some point. Even if he tries to restrain himself like he had before.

[luvst4rc0r3]

Loser Jinx x loser reader?🥹

I couldnt think of a plot so here are headcannons

Jinx isn’t used to romance, so everything she does to show affection is awkward but adorable.

She’ll give you random gifts, but they’re the most bizarre things—a cool-looking rock, a broken watch, a bullet with your initials scratched on it.

You blush easily, and she lives for it. If she catches you getting flustered, she’ll get way too close and go, “Aww, is my little loser embarrassed?”

Holding hands? Oh, boy. The first time it happens, you both just freeze like broken NPCs before one of you nervously laces your fingers together.

The first time she kisses you, she laughs mid-kiss because she got too excited and then apologizes while giggling. Pinky promises are serious business. Jinx will absolutely make you pinky swear on dumb things like "Promise me you’ll eat today" or "Swear you won’t die before I get back."

You two have the dumbest inside jokes, like calling random objects “boyfriend” or making up fake tragic backstories for inanimate things. If you’re feeling down, Jinx will plop into your lap and dramatically go, "No sad losers allowed! Only slightly dysfunctional but adorable losers."

She loves messing with your hair—braiding it, ruffling it, sticking random objects in it just to see if you notice.

If you ever try to return the favor, she’ll melt on the spot but act like she’s totally fine ("Pfft, whatever, it’s not like I like it or anything—").

Jinx isn’t used to soft affection, so cuddling at first is just her flopping onto you like a cat. If she’s feeling extra clingy, she’ll wrap her arms around you and refuse to let go (“Nope, you’re stuck. Welcome to your new life as my personal pillow.”)

If you fall asleep before her, she’ll trace little shapes on your arm or play with your fingers while whispering nonsense stories. Sleepy Jinx is extra sweet—she gets all mumbly and whiny if you try to move away. "Nooo, stay. You're warm."

You both mutter weird dreams in your sleep, and sometimes you wake up to Jinx just staring at you like, “Okay, so… what do you mean by ‘The toast is alive’?”

Jinx doesn’t know how to be normal about love, so her love notes are chaotic doodles with messages like, “If you die, I’m bringing you back just to kill you myself. Love ya! 💙” If she sees something that reminds her of you, she’ll steal it and proudly present it like a cat bringing gifts.

She’ll act nonchalant about compliments, but if you tell her she’s pretty, she’ll go "Pfft, duh" while secretly grinning like an idiot.

The first time you tell her you love her, she short-circuits and has to physically shake herself out of it before going, "Ew, gross. Say it again." Arcade date? She cheats at every game and still somehow loses to you, so she demands a rematch (and still loses).

Cooking together? Absolute disaster. She puts way too much spice in everything, and you both end up eating cereal instead. Cloud-watching? Turns into making up the dumbest stories about what the clouds look like.

Firework-watching? She gets distracted watching your face instead and teases you for getting all starry-eyed ("Aww, my little loser is so sentimental!"). You and Jinx are just two awkward dorks, completely and utterly in love. It’s the kind of love where you’re both each other’s safe place, even when the world feels like chaos.

No matter how much teasing and goofing around happens, she never lets you forget how much you mean to her. "You're stuck with me, loser. Forever." And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.

I WANT FOOD

[lsunstreakerl]

part six of the maxiel corporate au! 2.1k words, alternating max POV and daniel POV.

there's actually not any explicit content here- it's a little bit more plot focused.

Max needs to get out of bed. He needs to get up, and shower, and eat something- but he's been thinking that on a loop for a few hours now, and still hasn't done anything.

He's not sure why he feels so off, but it's made him burrow further into the bed, wrapping his arms around one of his pillows, holding it to his chest.

He feels-

He's not sure. He's sore, and he's a little bit sad for no discernible reason. Last night had been good, even if Max doesn't distinctly remember the later part of the night- doesn't remember getting home, just knows he'd woken up with a sore ass and legs, work clothes dropped on the floor, wearing unfamiliar sweatpants.

He remembers the car ride, going into Daniel's condo- remembers his legs being held apart, Daniel's fingers inside of him- but after he'd started actually getting fucked is where things get hazy.

Waking up to a text from Scarlett letting him know he's got the day off had been confusing, and then mortifying, but Max is glad for it now- he doesn't think he'd do very good work today, not with the way he's feeling.

Normally he's one of the first ones to leave from his complex's floor. He knows that because their walls are paper thin, and they can all hear each other when someone drops something and swears. There's four of them on Max's floor- him and Rico have been here the longest, neighbors since their first year of uni. Martin moved in a few months after Max and Rico, and Isack is the newest- the baby of the floor, moved in last year as he started uni.

Max normally leaves first. Max also never misses work. He knows it, and he knows they know it too, which is why he's not terribly surprised when there's a knock on his door.

He doesn't want to get up and open it.

There's a few rattles of the handle, and then the somewhat familiar metallic noise of Rico just using his own key.

They'd figured out they had the same lock a few months into being neighbors after a drunken mishap, and now they're friends, so there's been no reason to change that.

Max lifts his head as he hears the front door open and shut. His flat isn't huge- a studio- so it only takes a moment for Rico to poke his head around the corner.

He always looks like a behemoth next to Max's things, but he's reassuring at the moment, green eyes watching Max with concern.

"Hey."

Max presses his lips together, dropping his head back onto the pillow.

"Hi."

Rico toes his shoes off as he makes his way over, snagging the Playstation controllers, and then he's poking at Max's side until he rolls, making space on the bed for Rico to crawl in next to him.

He settles, and then he's wrapping an arm around Max, pulling him into his side.

"FIFA?"

This is why Max and Rico are friends.

"FIFA."

------

Daniel is chewing on the end of his pencil when Blake walks in. He's carrying a chair, which means he's got something Daniel actually needs to pay attention to.

"Sir Friend, how can I assist you?"

Blake sets the chair down heavy on the floor, dropping into it across from Daniel.

"I think Netco is lying about their earnings somewhere- but I've had me and my people on it all damn day and we can't figure out where."

That's... not the kind of thing Daniel likes to hear.

"Well shit. What do you need from me?"

Blake's spinning his own pencil between his fingers, letting it drag over his knuckles.

"You mean you can't just magically figure it out? What are CEO's even for?"

Daniel laughs, leaning back in his chair.

"I mean, I could ask them point blank if they're lying, but..."

Blake snorts.

"I get the impression they wouldn't come clean now."

Daniel frowns. He's trying to think, looking back on his most recent meetings. Everyone's been friendly, but no one's been suspicious.

Oh, on that note-

"Damn, I guess that means that discrepancy didn't go anywhere then."

Blake pauses, pencil stilling.

"What discrepancy."

"Uh, the one Max mentioned? A couple days ago."

Blake makes a face.

"And it was up here, so obviously you didn't fucking ask him about it- Daniel, you can be infuriating sometimes. No, I didn't even know there was a discrepancy- that could be genuinely useful, you horny cunt."

Daniel holds his hands up in mock surrender.

"I assumed you guys were all on the same page!"

Blake pinches the bridge of his nose, breathes out a long sigh.

"Clearly not. Can you call him in?"

"Blake, mate, I gave him the day off. Be pretty shit of me to call him in."

Blake narrows his eyes.

"Be even shitter to get stuck in a bad deal. Think with your brain and not your dick, please."

Daniel makes a face, but he's clicking around, getting into Max's file to find his cell number.

He makes sure to punch it in correctly, and it rings for a moment. It's the late afternoon by now- Max should be fine.

"Max Verstappen's phone, can I take a message?"

Daniel's brain freezes. It's a male voice, deep and accented.

Thankfully, he's been doing this for so many years now that despite the fact that his brain is stalling, his mouth still works.

"This is Daniel Ricciardo- who am I speaking with?"

"Rico Verhoeven."

Daniel scrawls the name down absentmindedly.

"Hello Rico. Is Max available? It's a bit urgent."

"He can be- one moment."

Daniel catches the sound of some shuffling, and then for a moment he wonders if he's having a stroke- but it's just the faint murmurs of another language. He faintly hears Max on the end, a mumbled 'Rico?' That sounds soft and sleepy.

Daniel's not going to think about it.

There's another moment of shuffling, and then the phone is picked up again.

"This is Max speaking."

He still sounds drowsy, but it's definitely Max this time.

"Hey Max, it's Daniel. What'd you end up doing with that report the other day, with the merger discrepancy you mentioned?"

Max makes a sleepy hum.

"The copy stayed with you, sir. But I have a backup on my desktop I could reprint, if you need it."

"That would be great- do you need me to call you a car?"

"Uh- one second sir."

More soft murmurs- it's the other language again.

"I have a ride. I will be there in twenty minutes."

Daniel's grip on his pencil tightens for a moment.

"Sounds great. Tell Rico I said thanks- and he's more than welcome to come in and say hi."

Blake is giving him a very clear "what the fuck, Daniel" face, but he chooses to ignore it.

"Oh, uh- thank you sir. I will let him know you offered."

"See you in a few, Maxy."

Daniel hangs up, and Blake is arching an eyebrow at him.

"What the fuck, Daniel?"

------

It only takes Rico and Max fifteen minutes to arrive- Daniel and Blake are up on the fourth floor again, near the walkway. It has a good vantage point to the entryway on the ground level.

Daniel is lazily watching the door, but it's Blake that spots them first- chokes on a half laugh and then pats Daniel's shoulder consolingly.

"There's your fucking competition mate, jesus."

Daniel's eyes dart to the door, and then widen comically. There is a giant standing next to Max.

A very built giant. Max is tiny next to him- and he's chatting enthusiastically about something, hands having half the conversation for him.

Rico is listening patiently as they start taking the stairs, content to let Max talk regarding whatever it is he's on about.

Daniel doesn't get intimidated easily- it's something you get over quick, as a CEO- but Rico...

The man looks like he can fight. Max hadn't mentioned any kind of boyfriend- and he'd both claimed to be and behaved like a virgin last night- but Daniel isn't interested in "accidentally" running into Rico in an alleyway.

Max is walking today far better than Daniel had expected him to, though he's not in business casual- just jeans and a quarter zip. He spots Blake and waves, and then when he sees Daniel his cheeks heat up, head ducking slightly.

Blake elbows him gently when they both straighten up as Max and Rico get closer.

"Nice knowing ya, Dan."

"Shut up."

Max crosses the walkway, and Rico seems even bigger in person, towers head and shoulders above the others.

Blake, brave man, steps forward first.

"Max, thank you so much for coming in on your day off- I appreciate it."

Max flashes him a smile, stepping around him to log onto the monitor.

"It is no problem."

Blake extends his hand to Rico.

"You must be Rico- I'm Blake Friend, CFO. This is Daniel Ricciardo, CEO."

Rico shakes his hand, and then turns to take Daniel's, and there's a brief moment where he wonders if his life is about to flash in front of his eyes.

Rico's gaze lingers on him for a moment. He has intense green eyes, and Daniel gets the distinct feeling that he isn't very impressed.

"I appreciate you offering to bring to Max in- that was kind of you."

Rico sets his hands in his pockets.

"It is of course not a problem, to help Max."

Max makes a cooing noise from behind the computer, shooting a grin at Rico. It's startlingly bright, more real than anything Daniel has seen from him before- it scrunches his eyes up.

"Aw, Rico- don't be sappy."

Rico just smiles back at him.

There's the sound of the printer starting up, and Max logs out, looking over at Daniel and Blake.

"I have it set to reprint the report and the more detailed logs for the incidents I was looking at, if you wanted those also."

Daniel didn't even know there were detailed logs.

"Thank you, Max. We appreciate that. Enjoy the rest of your day off, yeah?"

Max nods- still can't quite meet his eyes, and Daniel would normally find that cute- and it is- but Rico's presence makes him hesitate to tease.

"It was no problem, sir."

Blake exchanges a few more pleasantries with them both as Daniel gathers the reports off of the printer, and then the two of them are leaving.

Blake turns back to Daniel.

"That man is fucking terrifying, mate."

Daniel makes a face.

"Tell me about it."

------

Rico is nice enough to wait until they're back in the car before he opens his mouth.

"This is why are you sad."

Max busies himself organizing the spare change in the cup holders.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Rico makes a disbelieving noise.

"Really? You wouldn't get out of bed, couldn't walk straight until we did stretches, and now the man that you've been calling 'sir' over the phone- you can't even look him in the eyes."

Max crumples a stray straw wrapper into a small ball.

"Those things can be unrelated."

"But they aren't, are they? You got fucked by your boss."

Rico pauses.

"Your CEO."

"Okay, I know it sounds bad-"

"That's because it is, Max."

"-but it is not as terrible as it sounds. It was very good, actually."

Rico drums his fingers on the steering wheel.

"He thinks I'm your boyfriend, by the way."

Max squeaks.

"What?"

Rico is laughing, broad hand reaching over to tangle in Max's hair. It's nothing like when Daniel does it- Rico's hand is broad where Daniel's is narrow, fingers wide where Daniel's are thin.

"Yes, he definitely does. I answered your phone and drove you in- he absolutely thinks we are together."

Max makes a very obvious glance to Rico's lap.

"Mate, we could not be together. There is a variety of reasons, but especially that one."

It takes two seconds of silence before they're both giggling. Max has seen Rico's dick before- there was an unfortunate month where the pipes would randomly stop working, so they'd swapped showers a few times- and Max can now say, having had sex, that Rico is too fucking big.

"Have fun getting that cleared up."

Max winces. He doesn't want to think about it- he's perfectly content to make that a tomorrow problem.

Rico puts the car in park, but he turns to look at Max, rests a hand on his arm.

"If he does something, or you want out, or anything- just tell me, yes? We will figure it out."

Max reaches over the center console to hug him, arms wrapping around his sides. He's always felt protected with Rico- he can practically hide in his shadow.

He knows he can rely on Rico, but what he's got going on with Daniel- whatever it's called- isn't bad. Just new.

"Thank you."

Rico squeezes him tighter.

"Anytime."

[flowery-mess]

a family of one

Pairing: frat boy Noah x female reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! / mentions of alcohol and drugs / bad parent-kid relationship / mentions of cancer / shoving someone / slight sexual scene in the end / I think that's it, lmk if anything else

Words: 3,9k

Author's note: agh Noah❤️‍🩹 my heart beats for him I swear, grab your tissues and enjoy reading, let me know what you think✨

frat Noah masterlist

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Messages from Noah’s father throughout the last week:

“Hey son, do you have a minute to talk? I need a favor”

“Hey Noah, I need to talk to you”

“Hey man, pick up the phone it's important”

Noah never answered, he knew what the favor was. His father only contacts him when he needs money, but Noah doesn't have it in him to just block his number and cut him off. He usually never answers, until this text came through:

“Noah, I'm sick and I need your help”

It was Monday evening, Noah was home alone and didn't know what to do with this information.

He sat down, opened a bottle of whiskey and took a big gulp.

His father for him was only a failure, both of his parents were, but at least his mother cut him off completely. He never wished Noah a happy birthday, but when it was his birthday? 'Hey Noah, what do you say about birthday dinner tomorrow?' as if Noah would give a shit about his birthday. He made the mistake once, took his father for a dinner on his birthday, only to be the one that paid for it and to find all of the cash he had in his wallet was gone, probably stolen when he went to use the bathroom.

Noah's eyes scanned the text over and over, the word sick sticking out. Sick. What does he mean by that? He knows he shouldn’t care, but the small boy in him still feels weirdly sad about the idea of his father being sick.

“Sick? What do you mean?”

Noah texted back, then locked his phone and put it screen down on the table in front of him. He doesn’t want to talk with him, unless it’s really important.

His attention was on the street outside, watching people live their lives while he felt like his life is never going to change. Like his past will never leave him, it will haunt him forever. Abandoned by his parents, lost his grandparents, living alone in this empty apartment, desolate.

His phone buzzed with a new notification, but it took him a few minutes to get the courage to pick his phone and read it.

“Cancer, can we meet and talk?”

Noah let out a shaky breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Cancer. Does this mean he’s going to die and leave him completely too? Would it hurt Noah?

“I don’t wanna see you. What stage?”

“Son, please.”

“Son.” Noah read out loud with a laugh. Funny thing to call someone you left and use only for money.

“We either talk this way or not at all.”

Noah didn’t get another answer from the man that calls himself his father, so the only thing on his mind was if this was the last conversation he had with his father. He didn’t know if he was in the early stage where treatment still can help or if he has years, months or even days of his life.

—

“Hey, you’re not drinking tonight?” you slipped in the spot next to Noah, who looked not in the mood for anything or anyone tonight.

“No.” he didn’t even look at you and continued to stare into nothing.

“Are you okay?” you saw Noah out of a mood many times, but he was never this weird.

“Yes.” one word answers, great.

“Why don’t you go home if you’re not in the mood to be here? I don’t mind.” you didn’t know if he stayed there only because it was an unspoken rule that you two always leave together, that he makes sure you’re leaving safe, so if that was the case, you wanted him to know he doesn’t have to stay.

“I’m fine Ella.” he snapped, finally turning his head to look at you. He looked different, his eyes somehow empty, dark circles under them and his jaw showed a few days of unshaved stubble.

“You don’t look fine Noah.” you knew it was pointless to try to get a word out of him, but you tried.

“Don’t you have friends to drink and dance with?” his tone was unwelcoming, so without a word you stood up and left. You knew he wasn’t fine, but you’re not going to let him take it out on you, you only wanted to help him.

You found Molly and Clara and decided that if Noah isn’t going to apologize that you’re not leaving with him tonight. Not that he looked in the mood for sex, but lately you’ve been leaving with him and sleeping at his place even when you didn’t have sex.

The party was the same as every other week, so after more drinks with your friends you moved to the garden to play beer pong against boys from your class.

“Molly you’re so bad at this.” Clara groaned at Molly’s another attempt to throw the small orange ball into one of the red cups at the other side.

“Maybe it’s intentional, but you’ll never know.” and you would believe that. Molly wanted the drinks and look like the girl who needs help with throwing the balls, preferably with a guy behind her and his arms around her body.

“Ella? Hey Ella!” you heard someone shout your name, then you saw one of the fraternity boys wave at you.

“I’ll be right back.” you told the girls and started walking in the direction of a tall blonde guy, “Hi, do you need help with anything?”

“Yeah, have you seen Noah?”

“Last time I saw him in the living room.”

“He’s not there.” he left a sigh and looked around “do you think he left? He wouldn’t leave without you, right?” that made you roll your eyes.

“Listen, I don’t know where he is. The last time I saw him he was an ass, so maybe he went home.”

“There’s this guy asking for him, but I don’t wanna give him his address or something.”

“And how can I help you with that?” you were still pissed from earlier, but stopped yourself from being an ass, just like Noah, “I’m sorry, didn’t want to be rude. Do you know who that guy is? Have you tried calling Noah?”

“Yes, texted him too. Don’t know the guy, all he’s saying is he needs to talk to Noah.”

“Okay, I’ll come with you.”

You followed Ben, as you learned his name was, through the living room and then outside from the main entrance.

“Oh, there he is. Problem solved.” Ben said and stopped walking when he saw Noah and the guy already talking.

“Oh, great.” you said, but couldn’t help yourself and watch them for a minute. Ben left you there, saying he had to go back, but you didn’t mind.

There weren't many people in the front yard, so far it looked like no one noticed Noah and the mysterious guy outside of the property. You walked slowly towards them, you saw Noah’s back and you could tell from the way he stood he was uncomfortable.

As you made it closer to them, you could finally see the other guy. You didn’t recognize him, that made you wonder who he was.

Until you scanned his face and then it hit you. Same almond eyes like Noah’s, very similar hair color and he was just a few inches shorter than Noah. His father, it has to be, you thought.

You didn’t know what to do, if you should leave or stay there. Yeah Noah pissed you off, but from the little you knew about his past and saw his nervous body language, the anger you felt towards his actions from earlier was replaced with worry.

You stood still for a few minutes, watching them both throw their arms around and raise voices at each other, but not enough for you to hear what they’re talking about.

They didn’t notice you standing there, watching them, until they stopped talking and just glared at each other.

Noah’s father’s eyes met yours for a second, you looked away and tried to think of how to leave.

“Do you need anything?” he yelled in your direction, which caused Noah to turn around and notice you too.

You couldn’t figure out the look in his eyes, but it only confirmed that he wasn’t comfortable and like he was asking you to stay.

“Don’t talk to her.” Noah said to his dad, turning back to face him again. “If that’s all you wanted to tell me, you can leave now. We’re done.”

“Is this how you gonna treat me? Your dad?”

“You,” Noah lost it and grabbed his father by the collar of his t-shirt, “are not my dad.”

You knew Noah probably wouldn’t hurt him, but you still skipped the space between you and them and put your hand on his shoulder with silent “Don’t do something stupid Noah.”

He dropped his hands and you could feel his shoulders going up and down very quickly from his quick breathing.

“What’s going on?” you asked.

“I’m his dad, I’m sick and he won’t help me.” the man in his late 50’s told you, Noah stayed silent. He knew he doesn’t have to explain the situation to you, that you’re on his side.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Whatever you were talking about, I’m sure there is a better place to discuss it than a frat party. Don’t you think?”

“Alright, listen Noah I’m sorry for coming here. Maybe we could take this to your place and solve it out.”

“You’re not coming to my place.” Noah yelled out of frustration and people started to look.

“Noah,” you whispered enough for him to hear you, “everyone is watching, maybe it’s better to move this somewhere else.”

Without a word Noah turned around and started walking in the direction to his car. You were quick to follow and by the loud steps behind you, you were sure his father was right behind.

“You,” Noah turned around so quickly that you almost hit his chest, he pointed his finger at his father, “are not riding in my car. And you,” then his eyes looked down on you, “are staying here.”

“Noah-” you tried to speak but he interrupted you.

“I don’t want you anywhere near him, okay? Stay here.”

“And leave you to do something stupid? No.”

“Ella.”

“I’m coming with you. I can stay in the car or in your bedroom and I won’t listen, but I’m coming.”

He knew it was pointless to argue any more with you, so he just unlocked his car and you both got in.

“Does he know your address?” you asked him after neither of you asked his father if he has a way to get to Noah’s place.

“I don’t care.” Noah started the car and left the parking lot, you could see his father get in a cab and follow you.

There were a few minutes of silence before you spoke up.

“What’s going on Noah?” you slightly turned to the left to face him.

You could see his jaw locked in place, his knuckles turning white from the grip he had on the driving wheel.

“Talk to me, please.” you tried again.

“He was texting me for a few days about how we need to talk, I never replied until-” he swallowed and took a few seconds before giving you more information “until he texted me that he has cancer.”

“Oh Noah I’m so sorry.”

He rolled his eyes, he never wanted anyone to feel sorry for him.

“I told him I don’t wanna see him, that if he wants to talk, then do it through texts. But he showed up tonight. How the fuck did he even know where to find me?” he took his hands off the steering wheel and smashed his fists against it three times before he continued to talk, “I don’t wanna hear it. I don’t care. I know he just wants my money and even if he says it’s for a treatment I don’t believe him.”

You didn’t know what to say, you just let him talk and let out everything he needed before he had to face him again.

“And my mind just won’t shut off. All I can think about is how he’s still my father and I should help him, but I don’t want to. I can’t do it again, try and then just be left alone again.”

He was never this honest with you, not even the night when you were both drunk and he told you about his history. Now he was sober and sharing much more than you ever thought he would.

“You don’t have to help him if you don’t want to, okay? You don’t owe him anything. You can hear him out and then send him away. I’ll be there if you need me, I can walk him out so you don’t have to.” you reached to grip one of his hands into yours, squeezing him as a sign of support. You saw thousands of emotions behind his eyes and took his cheek in your other hand, gently rubbing your thumb up and down, “Okay?” you wanted to know that he heard what you said.

“Okay.” barely a whisper.

You kept his hand in your for the rest of the right, playing with his fingers.

When you reached his building you went to the garage parking lot and you saw his father get out of the cab and wait in front of the big building.

When Noah turned off his car, you two just stayed sitting there in silence until he spoke up.

“Let’s get this over with.”

“Wait.” you grabbed his arm and turned him to face you, “Whatever happens, stay calm and be the bigger person. I’ll be there if you need me, yeah?”

“Yeah.” you leaned over the console and gave him a small kiss on his lips, Noah cupped your cheek and rested his forehead on yours.

---

You met his father in the main lobby, going in a different elevator than him. Noah led you to his place in silence and his father followed.

When you entered the apartment Noah didn’t bother asking him if he wanted water or a coffee, he just sat behind the big table next to his kitchen counter and motioned for him to sit on the opposite side. You stood next to the counter, not sure if you should leave or not.

“Do you mind giving us privacy?” his father spoke to you and without any word you turned around and started walking in the direction of Noah’s bedroom.

“She’s staying.” Noah said in a firm voice.

“I’d appreciate it if it could be just the two of us.”

“And I’d appreciate it if you could leave. You choose.”

When the older man didn’t answer, you walked back to the kitchen area and stood there in silence.

“Talk.” Noah barked at his father.

“As I told you, I’m sick Noah. And I need your help.” it was weird hearing Noah’s name come from that man’s mouth, “This time I really need your help.”

“What cancer do you have?” Noah spoke.

“What?”

“You said you have cancer, what cancer?”

“The doctors are not sure-”

"Bullshit, how can they not be sure what cancer you have?”

“Listen son, I know I hurt you in the past and that I have not been the best father in the world, but we’re still family by blood, so you should help me.” Noah didn’t know which part of that sentence pissed him off more, but he started to lose his patience with the man in front of him.

“You never were my father. You never took care of me, I don’t have to take care of you.”

“You can’t remember the time I took care of you, we were a happy family. But you were too little to remember.”

“Well, it’s not my fault that you left before I could remember anything.”

“We had reasons why we left you with your grandparents.”

“Oh really, did drugs and alcohol get in the way of raising your kid?”

You were just now getting pieces of Noah’s childhood, your heart already hurting for him. You wanted to hug him and never let go.

“You don’t know anything.” his father was bold enough to speak to him like that, even though he was the one needing Noah’s help.

“And who’s fault is that?” Noah bit back.

“Listen, I need money and I know you have it. If you want me killed by the end of next week then stay being an arrogant prick and don’t help me, but I’ll tell them to go after you.”

“Them?” Noah and you were both confused, he said he was sick, didn’t he? “Who the fuck are them? You’re not sick right? You just made it up to get money from me.”

“Don’t know why I bothered with that, but don’t worry son, if I’m going down, you’re going with me.” he pointed his finger to Noah’s face, the last push Noah needed to stand up, leaving his chair to fall to the ground and grabbing his father by the collar again.

“Shut up, no more talking. Get your shit and leave my apartment.” he threw him back to his chair and waited for him to leave.

“Is this how you treat her too? I see you took something after me, you’re just like me.” that sentence was enough for you to step in and get this man out of Noah’s apartment, out of his life.

“That’s enough, you need to leave or I’m going to call the police.” you said, you tried to sound confident, but the shakiness in your voice betrayed you.

“Oh darling, you’re not scared of me are you?”

“Don’t talk to her.” Noah stepped between you and his father before he could get to you first.

“When you get her pregnant and have a little bastard just like you were, you’ll remember me. Noah, you and me, we are the same. You’ll find out.”

They were standing chest to chest, Noah looking down on him with a look that could kill. You saw Noah’s hands turn into fists by his side and you knew if his father is going to push a few more times, he’s going to lose it.

“You need to leave.” you spoke from behind Noah, gently pushing him to the side. “I’m serious, no one wants you here, so please, leave.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” he yelled in your face and before you could react, you felt his hands on your shoulders, pushing you away from him. You fell on the carpet next to Noah’s sofa, hitting your thigh against the coffee table.

“You fucker!” you heard Noah, then you stopped listening.

You suddenly felt sick from the situation, so you stayed laying on the carpet and just closed your eyes.

Him and Noah yelled at each other, you heard movements and only hoped they’re not fighting, until the main door closed and suddenly silence took over the apartment.

Noah stood by the door, not capable of moving or talking. He wanted to scream, at his father for being a dick, at you for standing up for him and putting yourself in danger, at himself for letting you come.

“Noah.” he heard your voice behind him, but still didn’t dare to turn around and face you. He was scared, scared that you were hurt, because of him.

“I’m sorry.” was all he managed to say.

You hugged him from behind, laying your head on his back and your hands on his tummy. He wasn’t good at talking and you didn’t expect him to talk about what just happened, you just wanted to hold him.

His head fell down and his breathing became quick, he was holding his tears in until he couldn’t. You felt the tear fall on your hand and then you heard silent sob.

“Oh baby, come here.” you turned his body so he was facing you, you could see the hurt in his red glassy eyes. You grabbed his head and laid it on your shoulder, Noah’s hands made their way around you. He held onto you like never before, he realized that somehow, you’re probably the first stable person in his life.

He cried and you let him. You led both of you towards his couch, still holding him.

You laid down with Noah on top of you. You were consumed by his weight, but you didn't mind at all.

You played with his hair while he laid on your chest, your fingers gently scraping his scalp to calm him down. His hand held onto you like his life depended on it, scared you’ll leave him too and he’ll be all alone. Again.

He cried until he felt like there were no more tears in his body, then he just laid on your chest, grateful for your presence.

“I’m sorry.” he finally managed to say it out loud, his voice hoarse from the crying.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” you whispered back. “Do you wanna talk about it?” you knew what his answer was going to be, but you wanted to try.

“Not now, please.”

“Okay, you don’t have to.” silence took over the room again, you continued playing with his hair and he absentmindedly started tracing his fingers on your skin. You were hiding from the world right now, but you could still hear life from outside. Cars, people talking, babies crying or dogs barking down on the busy street.

“Did he hurt you? Are you hurt?” Noah suddenly realized that his father pushed you and you fell. He lifted his head to scan over your face, looking for possible injuries.

“I’m okay, really.” maybe you were starting to feel a bruise forming on your thigh, but that didn’t matter right now.

“Are you sure? Did you hit your head?” Noah looked over your whole body, touched your head to make sure you’re whole and not hurt.

“Calm down Noah, I promise I’m okay.” you held his head and kissed his forehead.

“I’m sorry you had to be there.”

“Stop apologizing, and I asked to be there, so it’s not your fault. Okay?” you heard Noah’s mhm and you knew that that was the best agreement you’re going to get from him.

“Will you stay tonight?” his voice still low, you could hear the fear of you saying no in it.

“Yes.”

After a while you moved to the bathroom, had a shower together. Noah let you wash his hair and his body. You wanted to wash all of today off of him. He let you hug him, hold him, again, while the water was cascading down both of your bodies.

He kissed your shoulder, then your collar bone, then your neck, jaw and finally, your lips. Kissing him felt different, more emotional. You knew he was saying sorry through his kisses, so you let him. When you separated from the kiss, he grabbed your head with both of his hands. His fingers stroked your cheeks in a comfortable way until he said “I’m not in the mood for sex tonight, sorry.”

You had to hold a laugh in you, because you found it funny that he thought you expected sex after everything that just happened.

“Oh Noah, neither am I. I just want to cuddle you all night. Is that okay?” you rubbed your nose along his, leaving a small kiss just at the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah.”

So that’s how your night ended. Your bodies intertwined in Noah’s big bed, you held him until his breath evened out, then you fell asleep too. Before you did, you left a few kisses on his skin, whispering that he’s not alone and he’s not a desolate.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.

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[weneeya]

worried m.list | rules

pairing. jason todd x reader

note. omg i love jason sm of course i'd do that ; worried jason is adorable, my boy is doing his best <3

You were supposed to be here. He left you alone in your apartment before he left for his night patrol. So why weren’t you here anymore? Where were you? Jason thought he was about to go crazy. He was searching everywhere, calling your phone, but you weren’t answering at all.

Yes, he came back earlier than usual, but it was a reason to disappear, was it? What if something bad had happened while he was gone? Jason was making the worst scenarios in his head. Until he heard the sound of the door opening. He turned around and you arrived in the living room, a bit surprised. 

You didn’t have the time to say anything that Jason was standing in front of you, a visible frown across his eyebrows. “Where the hell were you?!” His voice was too loud, too angry ; you didn’t like that at all. You slowly raised an eyebrow at his tone, feeling the slight irritation growing inside of you. 

“My friend needed me, so I left to see her.” You explained but it didn’t calm Jason at all. “You know Gotham’s not safe at night. What if you got attacked, or worse?” He was clearly angry, but it simply made you angry too. You weren’t a child, you didn’t need him to act like he was your own father. 

“Quit yelling at me, would ya?” Your tone was harsh, and it caught him off guard. He wasn’t so used to any reaction like this from you, so he was taken aback. He was about to answer when you pointed at his chest, looking into his eyes. “I don’t need you to protect myself, Jason. I’m a grown adult!” And in those words, you left the living room to get locked up in the bathroom. You really needed a shower. 

Jason stayed alone in here, standing up and a bit lost about what just happened. Did he get too far? He knew you were strong enough to defend yourself ; he loved you for that. But he couldn’t help it ; he was always worried when he knew you were alone in the streets at night. He meant what he said: Gotham wasn’t safe at all, and he knew what he was talking about. 

He saw so many people get hurt without any reason, and he was just so scared to lose you. Anger was his only way to express those feelings, but making you mad was the last thing he ever wanted. So he sat on the couch and waited for you to get out of the bathroom. It took you long minutes, and he was almost falling asleep. Or at least, he would have if he wasn’t thinking so much about what he wanted to tell you. 

When you joined the living room again, your gaze met his figure and you rolled your eyes. You sat next to him in silence, hating this stupid sad look on his face. You hated to see it, but he needed to understand what was wrong. Jason took your hand softly in his. “Look at me, please… I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to react like this.” You turned around, meeting his eyes ; and he knew he wasn’t lying. There was too much sincerity in it for that ; you knew him by heart. 

You stayed silent, waiting for him to keep going for a moment. He breathed out softly, leaving a gentle kiss against your knuckles. “I was just… worried. I’m always so scared when you’re alone out there. I know you’re strong ; but those guys can be crazy.” And how could you blame him? You knew Jason got through hell because of one of them. You finally completely turned to face him, grabbing both his hands between yours. 

“I’m not angry because you’re worried. I am because you yelled at me like I was completely dumb and not careful.” He slowly nodded at your words, understanding that he didn’t react the way he should have. Your hand gently moved to his cheek so you could stroke it with your thumb so slightly. Jason leaned onto your touch, eyes now closed at the feeling. 

You felt like home for him, and he’d rather die than having to lose this feeling once more. He left a soft kiss against the palm of your hand, making you smile lightly. “I’d be careful with my reactions,” he told you, looking back at your eyes. You leaned forward a little, leaving a small peck against his lips. “And I won’t leave without telling you where I am.” 

A silent agreement, so things could work. Jason was making so many efforts for you, all the time ; the less you could do was to do some efforts too. Moreover, Jason was clearly worth it. The boy needed a comfort and safe place to calm his home ; and you were ready to be this for him.

thank you for reading!

[reikafanfic]

Includes: Minor pet play, cunnilingus, Sub!Anton with Dom!reader

Very self indulgent, Also my first time writing smut✋🏼

Multiple typos and no sense of grammar, I refuse to proof read more than once.

Anton had never pegged himself as the type of guy who'd be into getting dommed, truthfully he hadn't thought about his sexual preferences that much. He knew he liked it when women were direct with him about what they wanted, he's way too shy to ask upfront, but aside from that he always filled the more "Dominant" role during sex...that is until he met you.

He isn't really sure how he ended up here, in your room, on the floor. He's completely naked and his torso is tied up with shibari, it isn't restricting any of his limbs so he can move freely, it's just there for the aesthetics. Since they "accentuate his sexy muscles" as you'd put it. The shibari is by far the least embarrassing thing you've got him wearing, he's supporting a collar, no not a choker, a fucking dog collar, and on top of that you made him wear dog ears.

Well, he likes to think you "made him" but if Anton is being honest with himself, he knows exactly how he ended up here. He's here because he wants to be, because he craves this....craves you.

What makes this situation even more humiliating is that he's the only one naked, you took off your coat and unbuttoned a few buttons on your top but aside from that you were completely clothed. You've got this shit eating grin on your face, face full of glee, you know he's wrapped around your little finger and if he wasn't so in love with you he'd say you were full of yourself.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of you staring at him with that hungry look in your eyes, you say something.

"Crawl to me. like a good dog." Anton's eyes widen at your words, He looks offended you would even suggest that.

"Just because I put this on for you doesn't mean I'm actually gonna-" Anton trails off as he sees you get up from your position on the bed, closing the distance between you two. Before he can say anything he feels a sharp sting across his cheek....you slapped him, you actually fucking slapped him. His breath hitches in his throat and he closes his eyes, instinctively savoring the stinging feeling on his cheek.

"Aw did that turn you on? That must be embarrassing" His cheeks are red as he looks down at his cock, he's dripping precum onto your floor and he's hard as a rock. The humiliation just turns him on more.

"Fuck- okay fine I am. i just-...." He looks up at you, his eyes pleading. "what do you want me to do?"

You sit back down on the bed, using your hand to beckon him over. He reluctantly starts crawling towards you, his ears and cheeks burning from embarrassment as he tries to ignore how much this is turning him on.

He looks up at you with a sad attempt at a glare, it hardly feels threatening when he's wearing dog ears and crawling around.

".....I could get you a tail too, like with a butt plug-"

"No." He says cutting you off

You laugh at how serious he looks. "okay okay fine, one thing at a time"

You pull up your skirt, pulling down your panties, smiling at how his eyes immediately glue themself to in-between your thighs. You hook one of your legs above his shoulder as he comes closer, his face resting against your lower thigh.

"Go on. Be good for me" Anton doesn't need to be told twice, his lips attaching themselves to your inner thigh, eagerly kissing their way up. His hands find their way to your hips, eagerly pulling you closer, you consider reprimanding him for not asking permission but it's hard to tell him no when he looks so wanting.

His lips finally find your cunt, he leaves a small peck on your clit before he's diving in, his face buried between your legs. Despite his earlier protests Anton seems to have no reservations about acting like a dog now, he laps you up like a mutt eating his first meal in days. You decide not to comment, your words would get stuck in your throat if you tried.

You reach down to tug at his hair, pulling him towards where you need him, he's being too messy. Thankfully he gets the message, taking a deep breath before his tongue is being pushed inside you and he's angling his nose right against your clit. You moan at the feeling, your brain feels all fuzzy from the pleasure.

He uses his hands to guide you to grind against his face, he moans into your pussy making you wrap your thighs around his face. It ends with you half riding his face as you cum all over it, using your hand that isn't occupied with pulling his hair to cover your moans.

Anton pulls back, the bottom half of his face is wet from eating you out and his cheeks are flushed. His eyes look unfocused and hazy while his lips are swollen pink, he looks gorgeous. You instinctively reach down to help him get off too only to find that he already came,...from eating you out.

"....You're really into this, huh?"

"Shut up."

Puppy boy Anton, my beloved. Had this idea floating around in my head for a while, not sure if I executed it well but I had fun writing it.

[six-white-venus]

the problem with living in survival mode for all your developmental years is that when it finally does get better, you don't know what the fuck to do with yourself.

"you're still so childish," my mom had chided fondly one day when i was laughing at a crude joke that wasn't all that funny and i had to hold myself back from asking, "really?"

because in all honesty, i don't really know what it means to be a child. i didn't even know happiness before now, and i've never lived a day without the sheer intensity of my emotions crushing me. have i ever been a child? i don't know, because this is how i remember my life so far:

me, aged 6, sitting in front of the TV with my cold plate of food, watching dora the explorer

Sad.

and now

i'm still getting used to the novelty of having a full night's sleep everyday and not waking up wanting to kill myself, what do you mean i have to figure out what to do with my life? i have been handed something that i never wanted, that i never dared to hope for, and i hold this life in my palms with all the care i can muster with my jagged edges and freezing skin.

i'm living life in non-chronological order. i was 37 before i was 15, i am now 13 when i'm supposed to be 20. sometimes i feel older than life and so, so tired. the other day i found myself being hit with a wave of jealousy so large that i couldn't breathe for a second while looking at a 14 year old because i would never be able to have what she does. and it really is a new low, hating a middle schooler just a little because when i was 14 my biggest concern wasn't failing math but keeping myself from breaking my clean streak of two days by reaching for the kitchen knife. it's disorienting to walk around trying to 'act my age' because i feel like i'm in a whole new world than everyone else. everyday i'm made to write a surprise quiz that everyone but me was informed about. not everyone knows how to walk someone down the ledge. barely anyone fists their hands on their lap while listening to lectures on mental health thinking wrong, wrong, wrong that's not how depression works, that's not how children who want to die think, that's not the only reason for a young person to lose themself, that's not how misery feels on your skin, on your tongue. wrong, wrong, WRONG.

no, i don't know my plans for the future but i do know how to carry the weight of the world in my chest and how to hide finger nails bitten till raw and red and how to write with blood and how to cover it all up with a smile and- all of that is useless? oh. oh.

it feels like an elaborate joke, almost; like the universe is having a good laugh at my expense because the world is asking for a sculpture and all i have are my barely healed hands and a broken clay pot that has no hope of being salvaged. it's not about falling behind in the race, it's about being shoved into a goddamn marathon when you haven't even learned to walk yet. and no, dragging myself to the finish line on all fours with scraped knees and palms shredded by gravel is no longer an option.

how the hell do you live when all you know is to survive?

but really, it's not as bad as i'm making it sound, at least not all of it. this liminal space that hangs between childhood and adulthood and everything that comes before and after that, it's not awful. yeah, i'm still not sure if i will get into med school, but i'm falling a little bit in love with the sound of my laugh. i might have a huge void in my head where the last 6 years should be, but i'll never forget the laugh that bubbled out of my chest when my doctor halved my med dosage. i still carry my grief like a cloak over my shoulders but i've been leaving it behind in my house more and more because it's getting too warm for anything more than a t-shirt these days.

and after all that, the question still remains: what the hell do i do now?

laugh with my friends, maybe. make a mean cup of tea. learn everything all over again, from the start. smile till it sits on my face like it always belonged there. go to sleep early, because that's something i like doing these days.

what do i do now? i ask my mom and she tells me to help her with lunch. what do i do now? i ask my sister and she tells me to shut up and listen to the latest gossip from her class. what do i do now? i ask my best friend and he throws me his phone without looking and tells me to order whatever i'm craving.

what do i do now? i ask and they all say, isn't it obvious? you start living.

[hheartsdramas]

it’s friday night and you know what that means! time to partaaayyyy! (if by party you mean sitting on the couch watching everyone trying to deal with su yishui being the saddest puppy). love of the divine tree episodes 7/8/9:

do we think her turning the big white tiger into a cuddly kitten is symbolic or…

even without the suspicious tea i can’t imagine what mqg is doing to him right now would seem good. she isn’t even trying to give him an explanation that shows she’s doing this because she cares about him

i honestly have no theories rn about who the man in the mask is

absolutely do not blame him for embracing evil. i’d want to fuck up the world and everyone in it too

him: “you’ve been plotting against me from the start!” her: “please take care of yourself and live a good life <3”

this bitch (the sister)

what i find fascinating about the skewed story we got at the opening of episode 1 is that it wasn't the villain's doing or anything. it was literally mqg who set everything up to make sure that's the story that gets told. she was totally prepared to give up her life and reputation to save sys and he didn't even know until it was too late

make his eyebrows white too, cowards

shut up the little twig bracelet is a piece of his soul?? brb crying (though i am concerned about why it was unwell at the start of the show)

boy oh boy how he is gonna explain to her that in order to save her (which she told him not to do) and seal the spirit spring (which she did tell him to do) he has to freeze his emotions (which is basically the antithesis of her life and cultivation philosophy)

i also feel having to have zero feelings is a very very dangerous technique for a guy who has zero chill. in fact the opposite of chill.

i love a best friend who's here to keep a guy honest and humble

"low key in life but high key in dining" words to live by

the way he snatches and downs the medicine she brought him as soon as he realizes not doing it makes her sad

SHE GAVE HIM A HEALING APHRODISIAC

he keeps smiling because of her! he has smiled more in this episode alone than he did in the first eight episodes combined. he also has to keep disappearing himself out of situations because of those smiles

tbh my "hideously disfigured but actually tragically hot" buttons were installed the first time i saw phantom of the opera so i'm kind of sad he's not scarred anymore

we don’t either, bud!

i have to give it up for julia xiang, who has played two characters so far that are different but connected and really made me believe it. ranran is full of naive excitement while qingge is all mature sensuality and she's convincingly played both while also maintaining the quirks that let us know this is the same soul. i can't believe how young she is!

[transformers-spike]

hello it's Starscream feet anon again. So pleased to see your poll. Anyways.

I always fail to remember Airachnid because she frightens me. That tidbit alone probably gets her off like the freak she is.

Airachnid very much gives me mean and snarky dom vibes. But then again I could be wrong I don't know anything about this woman but she's freaky therefore I would confide in here because she's freaky.

Anyways². Here's the list I pulled out of you know where about different factions and iterations that are into feet of the human variety.

G1.

Decepticons: literally just Megatron. That freak. You will catch him oiling his humans feet and you will be jealous.

Autobots: Beachcomber. Hound. Bumblebee. Wheeljack.

Beachcomber and hound fall into the same category of stocking fetishism. Bumblebee enjoys the complete removal of all/any garments on the feet. Shoes, socks, anklets, you name in, bumblebee is pressurized and ready to get a closer look. And wheeljack likes toes SPECIFICALLY. Not ankles, soles or the top side or any combination. Toes. He's such a freak.

2007 animated.

Decepticons: BLITZWING!!!!! And Megatron.

Blitzwing you freak. And I'm not just talking about his "random" personality. Oh no. Icy, Hothead, and Random all have their own sub fetish. Icy would be more domineering. He'd pick the heels and stockings and no you don't get to complain. He doesn't care if they fit correctly either. You will suffer for his pleasure and you will keep your mouth shut. It's not like you'll be walking in those heels anyways. Hothead is an avid enjoyer of rubbing his spike all over his human. Including the feet. When he discovers foot jobs it's so over. He'll make his human lotion up and rub him up and down until he's done. Goes crazy seeing his human's feet covered in his trans fluid. Random. This fucking guy. He's just nasty. He's gonna lick your feet till you're crying his weird serpent tongue is so unpleasant. He also sniffs shoes.

Oh Megatron my beloved. There is a reason you will have a foot fetish in most iterations. TFA Megatron is such a bitch. He's simply too busy to indulge his human with interface. But you can hump his pede like the pathetic pet you are. Work yourself up while begging for him. but he will NEVER admit that it gives him gratification.

Autobots: bulkhead. Sentinel Prime.

Oh bulkhead my beloved². He's so sugar cube. He discovered foot fetishism through internet pornography. Enjoys the aesthetics of foot bondage done with ribbons and other delicate things. Bulkhead is, however, ashamed of this fetish due to reading human opinions on the topic online. Sad face :(

Ah sentinel Prime. This fucking guy. We all know this guy fucks humans, so why wouldn't he like feet too. Sucks feet and toes while cranking his spike. Also likes when his human paints their toes to match his paint job. Pays for all sorts of foot care. Pedicures, massages, ridiculous amounts of lotion. Buys expensive ass stockings for his human to wear under their clothes too.

Transformers prime.

Decepticons: STARSCREAM!!!!!! Soundwave. Shockwave. Knockout.

Oh Starscream my beloved³. I've already spoken on the topic of Starscream and his foot fetish, but he just enjoys massaging his human's feet. enjoys the aesthetics of heels as they mirror his own elevated heel struts. I could write an essay.

Soundwave is a bondage enjoyer all-around. Yes he uses his tentacles for bondaging his human this is a known fact. Will tickle the feet until his human is begging, crying and hyperventilating. He thinks it's so endearing how his little human jerks away from him.

Shockwave would dissect his human's feet if they didn't need them for quality of life. So many tiny, delicate bones.

Knock out likes to keep his human in tip top shape. Therefore he's keeping his human's feet pedicures and done up. Toe polish options include the specific shade of his paint job or nothing. Yes he makes the rules and yes he enforces them. Puts a teeny anklet on his human that has a Decepticon brand hanging from one of the chain links. Will kiss up his human's feet and legs when he massages them.

Transformers ONE.

I'm just gonna give the run down on Orian Pax, D16, and Sentinel Prime. Because I know we have Decepticons at the end of the film but I can't remember if the Autobots got named or not at the end of the film as well so this is. More like protagonists and antagonists.

Uncogged Orian and D16 probably didn't even know they had interface arrays so leaning into non genital based kinks does make sense. Given that they're miners, they can't afford luxuries such as polishes for themselves, so obtaining human lotion is out of the question. But they can wash their human. (Canon be damned they have water on Cybertron ok.) They'd massage their human and take care of them to the best of their ability with warm solvent and gentle servos.

While cogged, however, it makes sense to myself that they would have more genital based kinks since they are having so many new sensations that I'm sure they would love to share with their human.

Sentinel Prime.

Oh this fucker again. He got a human they was a toddler gets a puppy. For it to be taken care of by someone else. Like animated sentinel, he also buys his human lavish thing, like the aforementioned pedicures and lotion and toe polish and lotions but not so he can enjoy applying them. No. So that he can up keep his image as Iacon's precious prime. He loves the aesthetics of finely woven socks and stockings on his human, but that's it. Will accept a footjob if he's that curious. But this guy's foot fetishism is performative and not reflective of true foot freakness. Poser.

And if you noticed that I didn't mention the bayformers that's because I hate them. No piggies for them. They got weird faces. Except maybe knightverse bumblebee. He's a cutie.

Sorry this is so long I don't know what came over me it's like I blacked out and when I awoke this mess was on my screen. Feel free to add or take away as you see fit I'm all about hearing your thoughts on different transformers and their (foot) fetishes. For some reason.

Absolutely fascinated by this - I'm learning more and more about sections of this kink - and lmao I missed your presence, bro This is so well-described I don't think I have anything to add. At most I can say I had no idea fake feet enjoyers were a thing so I'm laughing thinking about TFO Sentinel Still think these bots probably prefer feet over pedes, mostly because they're so soft and we typically cover them, so they're not tracking dirt/grime. Also what do you mean you have lotions specifically for it????

[lottes-little-place]

Hey everyone🙂 Long personal post incoming!

I can't believe it has been over a year since I last made some custom content. I wanted to post something at the end of 2024 but it felt a little stupid to do a 2024 Tumblr Top 10 post without even having 10 posts in total (I think?), so I did not. I felt very burned out and just generally bad the whole of last year (which means worse than usual) and lost all interest in Sims because of the stress it gave me. It's still a little weird to make a post like this because technically I didn't go anywhere, I'm still lurking here a few days a week liking posts. I just didn't feel like interacting or doing anything Sims related.

I find it also very difficult to see everyone's beautiful lots and amazing custom content and feeling like my stuff or lots or anything I make will never be good enough or pretty enough and that made me lose interest in everything as well. My lots are simple boxes and I feel envious and sad because I want to have pretty houses for my sims as well. Every time I have a good idea for custom content it turns out to be to difficult, someone else does it better or I find my execution not good enough. It always looks so easy to see other people being succesful doesn't it? Why can't I build like that? Why are all my textures always blurrier? How do people even begin to understand how to make certain things? I'm always struggling so much to make simple recolors and I'm barely ever satisfied about the result.

I have learned a lot over the few years now but I still feel like a beginner. Every time I open SimPe I have to check every little thing again because I still make simple mistakes and don't even start about retexturing things in Photoshop process because I'm honestly just winging it. Every retexture costs me hours or even days of stress and uploading is just as stressful. What if I uploaded the wrong files? What if people look at it and think it's badly done? Couldn't I have done better? I see every little flaw and I know most people won't but it still stresses me out. I wish I could care less about things like that. I tried to avoid uploading in the evening because sometimes I couldn't sleep of the stress and the fear that something in the download was wrong.

I just wanted to get these things off my chest. Maybe some of you will read this and recognize themselves or maybe don't feel stupid if they don't understand retexturing things either because honestly it really is painstakingly difficult unless maybe you are a graphic designer or artisticly talented. Most people are just hobbyists and probably have as little understanding of this all as myself. At least that is what I try to tell myself to feel better about my stuff.

Thank you if you have read all of this and if you haven't that's okay too, we come here to relax and to shop custom content and that's okay.

Of course now I'm going to proofread this post because my anxiety will kill me if I make any spelling error and people see it. (I've changed SimPE to SimPe! How could I let this get through😤.)

To end in a happier note, I actually felt like making custom content this week and I actually finished it too so I will probably make a post and upload it tomorrow or later this week. (Spoiler; it's two book recolors for the Billy! I'm always too excited, I can't keep secrets😁)

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis 'for a moment I was so high and drunk with elation over rook's very existence and also their baffling insistence on seemingly actually liking me for my personality (??!?!) that I forgot I have no idea what the hell I'm doing' dellamorte I'd do anything for you.

cue rye running off to emmrich's office in a guilty panic to have a watcher to watcher talk pacing around the room frantically like 'that was SO unprofessional of me I'm a Watcher I should have more sense than this and he'd just woken up and spite was trying to say something and I think it could be really important but then I got um ah distracted and and and -- oh maker emmrich did I fuck up did I let them both down??? :'( *unspoken ever-present anxiety right under the surface* would I be able to help him better if I liked him less?' until emmrich forcibly sits him down and has manfred put on a pot of some nice calming tea so we can maybe all take a moment to chill out and breathe and talk about this rationally fhdakj. (emmrich has presumably dealt with many a spiralling mourn watch grad student equivalent in his time I think he'd have a handle on it I trust him. thank you emmrich). it takes some respective staring into the fade void and breathing into a paper bag under emmrich's kind professorial eye, but you know. I mean. hey. they do figure it all out eventually between them and I think that's all that really matters in the end right lol.

("Lucanis made a deal he hasn't kept -- to live" spite pls I cannot. i cannot deal with this right now you cannot be saying stuff like that. I mean it's true and you should in fact be saying it but also stop stop I'm already sad. and the fact that it's rook he tells this to, has been WAITING to tell this to. he'll listen to you. what the helllllll. hey. what if both halves of my new fucked up frankensteined together oroborous soul trusted you more than anyone in the world. but like in a real casual laidback kind of way that wouldn't make it weird or anything if you're not into that. would that be totally wild. or what. also spite's desperation to make itself understood with the limited tools and understanding of the reality it finds itself trapped in because lucanis is so shut down he's no longer really answering at all no matter how spite shouts... breaks my heart for both of them every time.)

as a fandom we have (rightfully! correctly!) dissected all of lucanis' microexpressions in this scene down to the millisecond and I think it's up to your own interpretation and the vibe between him and any individual rook what you read into them (I've written out my take on it already if you're interested in checking it out), so instead I'm going to show some appreciation for rook's expressions specifically in this scene under the cut!

the way you can actually see the sadness/sympathy settle over rook's face at the end of them saying "I don't think he ever leaves, actually" after the slightly deflecting smile!! Can't believe we have a PC with such levels of expressiveness in this game, it knocks me to the fucking ground every time. also needless to say I love taash so much. in this scene and in general and their relationship with lucanis and spite as well. prime they're a little confused but they've got the spirit (ehehe) and a huge well-meaning heart of gold.

you know what lucanis I understand why you had to go stare into the void for a while the rare open longing on rye's face would haunt me forever too after that. I also really like that rook moves themselves more under lucanis' arm when he does the wall lean -- the animators did such a good job of making their drift towards each other here feel mutual and playfully collaborative.

rook seemingly does not glance down at lucanis' mouth the way he does with them -- their eyes are focused on his right up until they slip shut in anticipation. aw. also probably part of why they're so surprised when he pulls back, since they were watching his expression the whole time and it seemed pretty safely In The Cards right up until the moment it. wasn't haha. they're just so...hm. much ado about the act of seeing and looking in this scene huh. lots to consider. some of the same feeling/sense of recognition that gets brought directly into focus in the 'you're here. you're really here' path of the main romance scene alive here too from rook's side. I really really love how you can find so many call and respond thematic/emotional moments throughout the companion storylines in this game; it feels so much like everything is talking to and in relation with itself, and you get to choose what notes you particularly heighten and play on for any specific rook to make their main melody among all of that, as it were. there's usually something that will echo back to them in there. and lucanis and rook both experiencing compromised senses of reality, self and memory -- for heighened magical reasons (possession, blood magic, solas being a huge dick (grudgingly affectionate)) and very recognizable mundane trauma reasons -- and yet being able to find each other through that and help each other feel safe and be real again together... well it does things to me emotionally, you see. can't be helped. as this scene shows, not necessarily going about it gracefully every step of the way, but that's alright. since when has love ever been terribly concerned with dignity.

also i'd just done bellara's deep conversation about her brother and her fear that she could end up falling to the same temptations he did out in the main dining hall before this scene this time around, so she was literally sitting there on the couch as these two dumbasses came stumbling out of the pantry in various states of despair and disarray fhdskja. sorry bel I didn't mean to leave you smack dab in the middle of All of That. but you have to admit it's also quite funny. front row seats to the fumble of the year

[somekindabard]

Shauna being bi is so important to me. Jackie being a comphet lesbian is so important to me.

All of these characters are so well written and the sheer brutality of trauma and how it shapes a person are displayed so powerfully. Some of the girls have trauma before the crash and you can see how it affects them. Then you can see how they are pre-crash trauma vs during vs after and how they evolve. It's just so real and raw. The writers delve into the complexities of girlhood to womanhood with so much trauma mixed in and the actors skill takes it to a deeper level.

They also showcase relationships in general so well. Familial, romantic, platonic, etc. So it makes sense for them to showcase the complexities of being gay, especially in the 90's. I was a bit disappointed with season 1 at first because so many people online were so annoyed by those of us that thought Jackie and Shauna had feelings for each other. It felt like I was queer baited again. I knew the show had representation so the most obvious pairing never happening with no chance of happening and with no confirmation of the feelings kinda hit a nerve. I didn't know the writers or much about the show yet so why would I trust them? As a queer person, I've definitely been burned before by "representation".

But Gooood the way that Shauna and Jackie look at each other. The way Jackie speaks about Jeff, about her going to college and needing to lose her virginity first and how they weren't gonna stay together, how he said he loves her and she didn't say it back but maybe she "should have". It's just so comphet and so familiar to me. And it's the best portrayal of it I've seen. And yes of course it doesn't have to be blatantly stated for it to be real, but without the confirmation I was so frustrated. People who don't get it, who haven't lived it, who probably don't even know what "comphet" means saying we're reaching and that "not everything has to be gay" really did get to me. It shouldn't have, but it did. Because yeah, we're seeing more and more gay characters in media, but they usually follow specific tropes. God forbid there's more than two queer experiences in media. God forbid we showcase how complex it is to discover yourself.

It's so frustrating when people who dated men before coming out are called liars or people don't recognize how being raised in a heteronormative society can make it really difficult to recognize your queerness. And then throw in bisexuality and that can add a whole different type of confusion. Enter shauna. It was just so so perfectly done. It felt so familiar. Finally! There's an out queer couple and then there's these two who aren't necessarily "fighting their queerness" or trying to pray it away, they just don't fully understand or recognize it yet. It was set up so beautifully. And then Jackie died and nothing was confirmed. And I was really sad, but I kept watching because the show is so good and tried to ignore the people who don't get it. But it just felt so special I was sad it went unacknowledged.

But as I've watched more and more, omg. The writers have greatly earned my trust. And I actually love how it played out. I love that we didn't get the confirmation or a love confession or anything while Jackie was alive. Because so many queer people don't ever get that and it hurts. So many queer people die before finding ir understanding themselves. So many queer people never accept themselves. It makes Jackie's death even more tragic. And then Shauna actually confirming her bisexuality adds so many layers to it. SHE'LL NEVER KNOW IF JACKIE FELT THE SAME. Even if ghost jackie confirms it, she'll never actually know. God thats so tragic. And I don't feel its "bury your gays" tropey because its just too real and I can't explain it but the way the went about it was just right. I hope she'll explore that grief later on. I feel like that could be really powerful, but so far the writers are better at this than me lol so we'll see where it goes.

No, we don't have explicit confirmation that Jackie is a lesbian dealing with comphet, but lesbians who have dealt with comphet interpret her that way. We see ourselves represented and it's so special and important to us. And her best friend that we thought could be bi? She is. For sure. And her life continued on long enough that that was confirmed. But Jackie's wasn't. Ouch ouch ouch. There's sooooo many ways that not confirming Jackie's queerness could have gone wrong. Again, bury your gays, queer baiting, all of the tropes. But somehow it doesn't feel like that. I trust the way this story is written and I trust the direction it's going. I don't know if I conveyed what I wanted to here or what else to say I just. Ahhhh I have big feelings about the representation in this show and those feelings are no longer frustrated. There's grief and desperation and sadness, but in a way that feels very healing. And then there's JOY somehow. Lots of JOY IDK I JUST LOVE THIS SHOW THX FOR READING THIS FAR

[dragonsoulage]

„I steal you, if I have to…“

feat. Suguru Geto

What happens when he decides to steal the girl he adores so much away from the rest from the world. When he decides to be selfish this time, when he decides to have you on his side. He cares and he loves more than you ever thought. You were the one thing he couldn’t leave behind. He would let the world burn for you.

Hello world, this time I couldn’t help myself and write something more angsty about my precious husband. You don’t know how less control I have when it comes to Geto, my sweet babygurl 🤣✨🤌🏻 for real I love him 💖 but well I always have the feeling usually people like to read more like smūt about the JJK men, and that’s fine I mean I like smūt too. But I just wanted to write something different, like his depressed state and his understanding when you would suffer too in his eyes. In this story you are a sorcerer too, your cursed technique is based on manipulating emotions and sensing them what means you could sense his depression💀. Anyway have fun. 🥰🥰

Wordcount: 4,7k

Warnings: angst, depression, mental health, sad, emotional support, still a little fluffy

"You can't take me away, Sugu." you said, you were trapped in your own dorm. Although, you felt anything but trapped.

The now special grade curse user stepping closer, you did not flinch away, why should you?

It was still Sugu, right?

Sugu, how you called him. How he liked to hear this nickname from your lips.

A large hand to lay against your cheek, you felt so fragile, as if you would break every moment.

You heard what happened, you heard how he decided.

He was officially an enemy.

Officially...

But not you, although you were too soft, too good and kind for the things he had planned.

A light among all the darkness.

He knew it was selfish, he knew it was probably not right.

But he already went to extremes, what would be another one than?

"Why can't I? Because it's not right? Not what you want?" his voice was soft, like from an angel, like you always remembered it.

"I can't...do these things you do. I can't..." you stuttered, and he could see these big fat tears in your eyes, one dropped out of them. Making them so shiny and sad.

He had a scowl on his face, disliking seeing you in a state like this, although he knew he was the reason for it.  

"You don't need to do anything, you are not ready to do. I would never force you to use your powers... I just want you to be with me. The one last thing I can't separate from."

he explained, purple eyes met yours with an intensity, pulling you closer so he could lean down to you, his forehead against yours.

Watching closely how overwhelmed you were...

But how did it come that you found yourself in this position?  

It was the time after the events with Riko Ammanai, weeks after the gruesome mission.

In weeks, his state went to be bad.

Depression settling in, into Geto. Making him lose weight, making him look dull.

And yet not everyone noticed.

Not that he wanted anyone to notice.

At least of all Gojo, not wanting to be a further burden. He had to live with it, right?

But, well, he didn't know someone like you would step into his life. You were part of the Jujutsu High too, although you two never really had anything to do together.

He just knew your name, literally nothing else.

But you, you weren't a special grade sorcerer, but you were special indeed, in another way.

A cursed technique that was hard to explain, and on the first look didn't seem too useful.

You could sense feelings, you could literally see an aura around persons, you could see how they were doing.

But not just that, you could manipulate feelings, give an illusion of serenity, although death was right next door.

Could make someone feel so anxious about their own shadow, they think they might die.

It was rarely used, simply because it overwhelmed your own mind, your own body. 

After missions, when you used a lot of your cursed energy you were feeling overstimulated to every noise and touch, it was like...walking inside shards just with your brain.

Geto didn't know you had these abilities, it was rarely used, after all.

But now, for the next countless weeks, you passed him on the hallway in the dorm. You were used to seeing people's feeling, sensing their emotions.

So you tried to overlook the fact when you saw people who were depressed, you could not make everyone feel not bad right?

It was after all not your task to make everyone feeling not depressed, besides that your illusions were temporary.

But every time you saw Geto, the aura grew darker and darker, every time you passed him, he gave a small nod as greeting, his eyes more empty than ever.

Every time you walked by, you saw how the darkness surrounded him, and it made you more than worried.

You started simple...not wanting to confront him.

Not feeling in the position to tell him you knew he suffered.

Because who wants to know that?

Every person who is depressed knows this, but you don't want to hear it. Not when you tried too hard to hold it together.

When you passed him again, you just touched his shoulder.

"Have a good day." you cheered, trying to flash a small smile, and while you touched his shoulder...  

You let some of your energy flow into him, not that much, and not really manipulating his feeling, but just so much he felt an ounce lighter.

And this went on for some time, sometimes you dropped something with full purpose so he would help you to pick it up, brushing against his fingers and arm, to do it all over again.

So every time he saw you in the hallway, he felt...better.

Sometimes too good for his own thoughts.

Geto wasn't naive, because the feeling a little lighter suddenly out of nowhere...every time he saw you when you walked by, this couldn't be a coincidence?

When you passed him, he could see the concern in your eyes, but he never really thought much about it, not that he ever thought it would be because of him.   

He decided after some training to ask Gojo about you, not that the white haired lanky sorcerer would have any clue, but who knows?

"Do you know (Y/N)? Like anything about her?" Geto the asked him while sliding Gojo over a sweet treat he took from the vending machine before training started for him.

"What? You gonna cheat on me with her?" Gojo chuckled, leaning back and stretching his long legs out.

Geto gave him a look, but well he was used to that with him, he was just not in the mood to make a sarcastic remark.

"I would cheat on you with Nanami and this is a thing." he repeated, seems like he still couldn't stop making sarcastic remarks.

"But to your question, I know her name, she is in second year...another class. Not heard much of her." Gojo then answered like it would be not an important thing.

"Why you want to know? Got a hallway crush?" he laughed, raising his snowy eyebrows. 

"Was just interested in, she has a...how do I explain...something on her that I don't understand. But well, I don't know her, so I just thought maybe I find out." Suguru spoke with a heavy sigh, what was the weird reason that he felt lighter when you passed him?

Was this really just his imagination, that your pretty smile was making things better for a moment?

The time went on, and you decided to pull on the next stage, you were known to be shy, but when you passed him he didn't find a clue of it at all.

Little did he know you could overcome your insecurities when something was important to you.

So you didn't care about being shy when you saw in what a deep hole he sat.

When you now passed him, you stopped him then, talking to him, asking him little stupid questions where Yaga might be or if he knows a good place for learning in peace.  Building such intense eye contact.

But when he met you, he observed you more clearly. Trying to figure it out, breaking his head over that weird fact.

He noticed your body language, when you talked with others, you were physically distanced, always sweet and nice but not so...touchy, how he tried to put it.

You placed a hand on his arm, sometimes when you showed him something on your phone your arm brushed his, standing so close he got a whiff of your perfume.

The way you looked him so soft in the eyes.

Besides his depression, he would have tried to pull you after seeing these pretty eyes all so focused on him.

But probably it would have never come to this when he wouldn't sit in the shithole of being depressed.

It was clear to him, something about you was different. 

Geto decided to find out why, and instead of asking a bunch of people he did not even want to talk to, he decided to sneak into Yagas office.

Of course, it would be weird when he would ask Yaga himself, besides that why should he want to explain he wanted to know why you made him feel "lighter" in his heart.

As if he ever would want to explain someone, he felt like everything he did for the human world was pointless.

When he sunk inside, he went to the filing cabinet, and searched for your name. There you was.

"Ah, there you are, pretty." he mumbled and took a look inside.

What he found, well he was surprised.

"Manipulating emotions and feelings..." he read to himself, indeed interesting, although the part where your cursed technique is tried to be explained was confusing even for him.

But he understood the fact...you drained yourself when you manipulated emotions, or created illusions.

When you tried to make someone feel better, you needed to replace the pain, what meant you needed to take over the feeling your counterpart felt.   

What means, your training wasn't just about physical abilities, it was an endurance training to endure pain in all the forms. What led to the fact that you ended up to be an overstimulated mess, what made you feel so absolutely crazy.

It was hard, you felt pain that not even were yours, and you needed to do it for missions in an amount....that was too big to comprehend.

"That is far from fair..." he said to himself, far too unfair for the reason, that humans did not even appreciate the effort you had put in to save them.

He understood it, after all he swallowed curses, absorbed negative emotions from them.

But there kicked the realization in, the reason he felt better when he saw you, was because you used a little of your cursed technique.

He just couldn't explain himself why.

He stood there with the file in his hands, in the empty office, placed an invisible curse outside so it would tell him when Yaga would be coming back.

"Seems like I need to ask her myself." he mumbled before putting the file back in the cabinet.   

So, not many days after that, he particularly looked out for you. Usually Geto went with Gojo and Shoko somewhere to eat something after school, at least when he could make himself get up for that. But not today, claiming to be too tired.

He was tired, but he was more curious about what you would need to say when the big ass, handsome sorcerer would walk up to you and ask you why you saw the need to use your abilities on him.

And there, he found you outside, alone, although you seemed a little too happy because you just got yourself some snacks. Wanting to sit in the sun to bit into one of the sesame balls you bought yourself.

Holding the golden treasure in your both hands to take a bite, there joined you.

Quietly like a cat just sitting next to you.

You stopped your very motion, when you noticed the shadow next to you.

Turning your pretty face around to see it is Suguru, maybe your plan worked, you thought.

Maybe the subtle comfort you tried to give him worked?

Building a base, so he walked by to say hello?

"Suguru, how can-" you started to speak, already reaching out a warm hand to lay on his shoulder, but he stopped you.   

He looked you serious in the eyes, some of his raven hair fell into his face as he caught your wrist gently in his large palm.

Then he saw the flash of irritation on your face, how your eyes darted to see how he caught your wrist.

"I know what you do, I read your file." he spoke without even hesitating, or sugar-coating a nice small talk before, he went straight to the topic.

This made your pretty eyes widen, the fact he found out.

Of course, he could find it out, it would have been enough when he had asked one of your friends.   

But since Geto didn't feel like talking to every one and everything, you never considered he would do, but he went straight to read your very file.

"You read my file? Why did you do so?" you questioned, but your voice remained steady, as he slowly let go of your wrist.

You lowered your both hands, still your sesame ball in your them.

You seemed nearly sad that he found out, but you tried to act composed.

"Well, after asking myself when I feel a little better after I passed you, I grew suspicious. Why the hell should my heart feel lighter out of nowhere. After some observing, it was clear it had something to do with you. And it was not just the nice smile you gave me." Geto let you know, calling you a little out. But his voice didn't give away of anger or anything that would make it uncomfortable.

He just wanted to know why you did it, why you saw the need to do this for him, although you knew him just so little.

"When you read my file, you know I see an aura around persons. I can sense the feelings of someone, no matter if I want to or not, but I see it." you answered, lowered your head before you put the sesame ball away, afraid he might dislike what you did.

You always had been someone sensitive, caring about what people thought of you. Caring about every move you made, if it was fine. Thinking too much, and probably far too deep with your heart.

A sweet trait, that usually often were abused by people who saw how soft you were.

"And there is the point... I know you do, but you also see it by others. You don't give others the treatment you give me. You don't know me, not for real, and yet you do it." he explained to you, clearly pushing you to spill the beans.

You sighted before you lifted your head, you did it for him because you rarely even saw someone with such a dark intensity of depression than him. Likewise, you couldn't just do nothing, not when you actually could make a difference for someone, even when you didn't know him at all.   

Then you looked over to the streets, before you pointed to a woman.

"See the woman there? She suffers under the same thoughts as you, the same feelings. But the aura she has, is dark... People who are sad or dealing with a lot, they share the same dark aura. But there are still differences." you started to explain to him, both of you watching how the woman continued her way.

"Every color has a spectrum, hasn't it? Even when black, is black...the intensity of black can be different. And when I saw you dark your aura became, how black and pulsating it was... I can't just do nothing. Alone the thought how....how you need to feel." the way you said it to him, it was heartbreaking, the deep breath you needed to take, the way you worried about him.   

Someone worried about him, someone he didn't know worried, saw it, and acted.

He wanted to avoid it so much, that someone would catch a glimpse of his state.

He hid it well sometimes, but he couldn't hide from someone like you.

The imagination, you knew how he felt, because this had been your life.

Training your endurance to understand and to hold pain as an emotional state.

He took a moment to reply, sharp eyes met yours.

With an intensity, it made your heart stop.

"So you decided this by your own, because you know how I feel?" he asked again, just to confirm this for himself.

How you two sat on this bench, the streets in the background, rustling of the wind from the trees.

You nodded, to him, you were shy. Suddenly so shy, when he found out and confronted you, but you didn't decline what you have done.

It was nothing bad, right?

"I can't heal you, but I can help, so you can heal yourself." your voice dropped to a whisper.

You had quiet the point, no one could heal him, this is a task he needed to do himself.

But you...you could help him.   

There was just the question, if he wanted you to do that.

Another one who would drain themselves, for what use?

It was not that he thought he was not worth it. But it was the thought you would still need to do missions.

Missions where you needed to save these pathetic humans, humans who maybe wouldn't even appreciate what you did, how you suffered from the use of your cursed technique.

"You know, it took a while, a long while, after I read your file to understand your cursed technique and how it worked. You drain yourself when you use it." he stated as if it was a fact, it was one.

"It is completely fine when I do it in a range I can, like when you passed me by. Please don't...don't forbid me to use it on you." you replied faster than you wanted, before you took his one hand.

You were a cute one, afraid that he would push you away, because for you somehow you build a connection, two souls sharing pain can be quite connecting.   

Geto, looked down to your smaller hand, it was not like your fingers would be intervened, but you wanted to show support, this was not your technique, this was your being.

Someone who was truly good, someone who truly cared.

Someone who can't look away.

"I can't deny that I feel better, but it don't make the problem go away, right?" his voice stained with the testament of his current mental state.

The problem that he had, wasn't just the trying to live with the shocking events of the mission with Riko...It wasn't just the loss or the experience, that he thought he lost his best friend.

No...the root of the problem was deeper, so much deeper.

"No, it won't disappear, but I can help you to make it smaller, every day. And I don't just mean to use my ability. I can be here, when you let me. I know we don't know much of each other for now, but I for me, I know enough that it makes me want to do something. I can listen, I can distract, and sometimes I can even go away when you want. But otherwise it would make my heart ache, when I just let you suffer alone, Suguru." you admitted, for someone smaller than him, you had a so much bigger heart.   

It made him having a soft clench in his heart, something that tugged on it, sharp eyes softened slightly, he didn't have to pull away from your hand, he let his rest in yours. Looking down on your both hands.

"Doesn't seem like I can get rid of you, maybe I don't even want to, when you seem to already know about me, my state." Suguru answered, how should he decline someone like you? When you already knew how he felt, maybe you didn't know the problem, but what mattered that you couldn't let him down.

It was oddly comforting to know that even a kinda like stranger, just a fellow student cared, that someone saw him. That someone saw behind that exterior that he put up, even for Gojo.   

After this conversation, things went different.

You two were friends, although it was a different friendship as he had to Gojo or Shoko.

At first, it was weird, that he wouldn't need to flash this charming smile, that he won't need to get up to do anything.

You two chatted casually, sometimes deeper, sometimes you just hugged him.

Just laying your arms around his bulking shoulders, and holding this big man with your smaller frame.

How your delicate fingers stroking over his back.

You always brought something to eat, for him, indeed eating with him, in his dorm.

Smiling at him.

And there were thoughts, thoughts that your smile probably brought him the most joy currently.

The way your eyes truly lit up when you saw him.

It never felt like you just would be there because of his depression, that you really want to get to know him, that you wanted to be part of the life from Suguru Geto.   

Although it was not like he wanted that, you used your cursed technique on him. But on some days...you did it without even asking.

Like the one time when you just decided to jump over your shadow of insecurity, and joined him in his bed.

Settling behind him, being the big spoon and while you did, letting some energy flow into him.

Making him feel loved and content.

Holding him, telling him he can let loose and that it was ok, that he don't need to pretend.

That you knew how strong he was, how much he was holding up.

How much he tried, and how good he was.

One of the fewer persons, telling him, that he was good.

Fingers tangling in his black, inky hair, caressing the strands. Making him shiver, and yet making him feel better, with the sad knowledge that it would be a long way....

He grew so accustomed to you, that it was no longer just friendship for him, there was another feeling. A feeling that he wanted you close....  

But what then happened, it had been one of the factors why he decided to turn against humanity.

It was a night where you didn't come by. A whole day he didn't see you around.

You were on a mission, together with Utahime.

Oh, how did you suffer...

How much you drained yourself, to save the people in that area.

When you and Utahime came back, he saw it for the very first time.

The screams that teared from your throat when Yaga came out of the building, because Utahime called for him. You had collapsed on the ground of pure exhaustion, as she tried to catch you.

But as soon as someone touched you, it was too much for your senses.

It ripped his heart in two, to watch it from the window he was standing.

Aware no one could help you in this state, not with his knowledge he had.

What would you need to endure, to be now a mess on the ground crying and feeling so overstimulated like every little noise and touch was a shard right into your very pure soul.

Someone like you suffered, because of these people....

Of people like the ones you saved, taking so much in...

How could these monkeys do this to you?  

Making your beautiful face cry? Staining it with tears? Making you tremble, and your eyes dart around in sheer panic like a deer that was cornered and dragged against a wall, who waited for the last shot.

It had been one of the moments, Geto couldn't just hope it would be all get in place and be better.

Non sorcerer were the reason you felt like this, the jujutsu society was the reason you did it.

And everything changed when he had this conversation with Yuki...

This was the turning point, the very reason he decided saving non sorcerer weren't for the better.

They were the real curse, people like him and others suffered.

That you suffered, that his best friend suffered, that Riko had to die.

And this is now the reason, he stood in your dorm.

He already told Gojo, what way he would take, that a world without non sorcerer were the only chance in his point of view.

The reason, his best friend wouldn't need to be always the strongest, the reason you would never need to experience this sheer overstimulation of pain and senses again.

The reason he would never need to swallow curses again.   

So here you stood now, with him in your dorm, he literally just told you he takes you with him, no matter what.

You saw the determination in his gaze, it was a bloody path, a path he would walk for you.

"What you suggest is that you take me with you and we both be criminals?" you asked him, it was hard what you heard now.

Suguru knew you were too soft for this life, too precious in his eyes. You had a truly big heart, wore it on your sleeve.

His thumb stroking over your cheekbone, he was so tender with you.

Realizing what he found in you.

"No, you won't be a criminal. You don't have to commit anything. I know you can't do what I do, because you are so...lovely." he started, his words were spoken as if he would just coo in your ear and tell you everything would be alright. How you always did it with him.

"You are too delicate, you never have to use your cursed technique again...because I will make it alright. And I just can't let you go, I know it's selfish, selfish that I don't let you chose, and I am truly sorry for that." he continued before his fingers grabbed your chin, but his grip was not hard, but he forced you to look in his eyes.   

"Sugu... You know I like you...that I want to be with you but, how do you think it works when you continue to go this path? I can't watch that." you spoke to him, on the edge of tears, how the threatened to spill out. How you loved this man, how you just had hoped to truly help him, and now things turned out so different.

"I do what needs to be done, create a world where you never will have to take the pain of others, and they wouldn't even thank you. How they would never bat an eye that you willingly took over their feelings. And then...we can be happy. You know we can, and I will do everything for this." he revealed his plan, to you, pulling your face just a little closer.

"I steal you, if I have to... I would let the world burn for you, you are too good for. Maybe even too good for me. But I love you, (Y/N). And I can't leave you here, not you." his words honest before you felt how his lips laid just so feather lightly against yours, afraid as if breaking you.

You were too shocked of the events, you heard what he's done, how he wiped out that one village.

So Suguru was now the villain that would steal the precious princess away from the world that so desperately tried to tear her apart.

While you tried to hold him together with all you could.

You felt like you would have been failing, although you never failed him, he just saw the problem out of a different angle than you.   

Although he hated the fact he was the reason you cried, the reason for your distress.

But when it was about you, he needed to be selfish, he needed to take you with him, for himself. He wanted to create the best for you and everyone he cared about, even when the methods were wrong in everyone else eyes, even when it means he needed to do something that troubled your fragile soul, but he would catch you, like you caught him.

This man loved you, told you he loved you, and that he would burn the world if that would mean you were safe, that you were all his and that he finally could have this peace inside him to be truly happy with you...

[iguessitsjustme]

When It Rains It Pours Ep 7 Thoughts

Today…has been real up and down for me. And right now I am tired and I am grumpy and I am hungry and I am sad. But I've seen that this show has a happy ending so I am also excited. I may not be as talkative in this final liveblog as I normally am (or I might be there's no telling). But before I watch, I want to just take a moment to thank everyone that told me to watch this show. Being in this fandom and talking to you guys has been truly the highlight of my last few weeks. I came to this show late but everyone was so excited for me to watch and it has been an absolute delight talking with everyone. I hope to keep seeing y'all in other fandoms after this show ends (also I hope we keep talking about this show. Just because it's ending doesn't mean we ever need to stop. If y'all have thoughts about this show even two years from now and want to scream with someone, I'm sure the entire fandom will be happy to resume the screams). Anyway ramble over. Liveblog, as always, is under the cut:

Before I get into this liveblog actually, I will pay one william dollars to anyone that doesn't wake me up at 5 in the goddamn morning with loud noises and persist with those loud noises for an hour. One william dollars. I have had A Day and there is a reason I am Tired.

Asking the important questions.

Something something coffee something something my brain isn't working today *chomps on some fried chicken*

It is not lost on me that Sei is now wearing colors now that Fujisawa isn't around.

It can be if you want it to be baby boy

Hagiwara making sure to get Sei's friends contact information for him. Making sure that Sei isn't alone and abandoned. Making sure Sei has someone to talk to. I am FINE.

Sei actually reaching out and going to get drink with him. I'm FINE.

Falling in love with kindness my beloved.

Can't wait to rec this to my irl BL friend. They're gonna LOVE it.

Aw man I was hoping Fujisawa just wouldn't be here. I knew he would be but let a person be in denial will ya?

I need that car alarm to be shut the fuck off. I am TRYING to WATCH.

Dear Fujisawa, I do not care that you've always liked Sei. You raped him. 

Okay okay so. Here's the deal. Fujisawa feeling guilt for Sei's parent's accident definitely explains a lot. It explains a whole hell of a lot. BUT. It does not excuse anything. Sei was miserable. Sei was isolated from his friends. Sei was raped. It breaks my heart to think what could have happened had Sei's parents not died. But they did. And it brought out the worst of Fujisawa. And while I understand where he is coming from and why he did the things he did, I do not condone them. Many things can be true at once and the circumstances these two were placed into were awful and complex. But the choices they made in those circumstances are what led them to this moment. To the pain and the hurt. Fujisawa should not feel guilty about Sei's parents. He did not cause them to die. He did, however, rape Sei. That is a thing he did. Honestly, these two need to leave each other's side or else they will be miserable forever. Even without the rape. The guilt Fujisawa feels will forever hold them down in misery. This time when I say Sei needs to be set free of Fujisawa, I mean it more than just Sei needs to be free of his control. He needs to be set free from Fujisawa's feelings of guilt that have trapped them both. And Fujisawa needs to be set free too. Or he will make the same choices with anyone else he tries to move on with. I still say he goes off the cliff though. Cause I'm still angry at him even if his actions make more sense to me now.

Noisy neighbors go AHWAY. bite bite kill kill

Had to move rooms because dear god the noises did not stohp. I am having a bad fucking day let me tell ya

Sei is a good person for setting him free. I still feel no sympathy for him.

Every car needs to die forever.

C'mon you two! Meet up! I need it. I need it so bad. Do you understand how bad I need to see you two meet up today? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

BITE BITE DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

SCREAMING

BOY. I KNOW THIS HAS A HAPPY ENDING BUT BOY.

Sei go get your man. Please. I'm begging. I am running out of episode. Please. Go get him.

YES THAT'S RIGHT GO TO THE MUSEUM. TO GO GET YOUR MAN. GO SEI GO

Has he met me?

Anyway umbrella my beloved. I do not have the brain power tonight but I want to write a post about the use of umbrellas in this show. I'm also very busy this weekend (yay birthday plans) so maybe next week? When I can find a spare second. But I need to talk about the umbrellas. I also want to talk about the soundtrack. Especially when it comes to Fujisawa but there's so much. I might need to just pick a Fujisawa scene. Feel free to help me decide if there's a specific scene you want me to attempt to analyze the soundtrack of. Anyway. Back to umbrella my beloved.

I am glad it was Sei who confessed first. That feels important somehow.

Do y'all see. Do you understand. Why umbrellas. Are my beloved? Does this help you to understand?

God bless

They have to say this because it was so well done and the themes were so universal and applicable that it feels real. The plot and characters may be fictional but the feelings, emotions, and community this show brought are real and I am ever so grateful for it.

As I have already complained numerous times today, my brain is not here to do any sort of wrap up or anything. I might do a post-show thoughts later on once I've had time to process and also I get my brain back. I did it for 4Minutes I might do it for this one because there is a lot I want to say. I also might not because busy. We will see. And I kind of want to rewatch this last episode once I can feel my brain again so I feel like I can fully appreciate it.

Thank you to everyone who has read my liveblogs I cannot believe that more than 2 people were reading these and enjoying my silly little thoughts. I love each and every one of you. Please feel free to keep tagging me in things or talking to me about this show or literally anything else for the rest of all time (I am currently having a bot problem so I might need to restrict my reply settings but if that happens my DMs and ask box are always open). Peace and love I'm gonna go cry about umbrellas now.

[afniel]

There's something really special about Zelda games in particular that no other game quite does the same way.

They make me want to go outside.

And I don't mean because they're boring and I'd rather be doing something else! They're all fantastic games that I can sink countless hours into. No, the thing they excel at is that they make going outside look so incredibly fun and adventurous that if I play enough of any given LoZ title (though Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom do this the most, any of them will do it) I'll end up going on a walk. I'll examine some cool rocks. I'll watch some birds. I'll listen to the wind in the trees. I'll splash in some puddles. I'll find a really good stick. I'll buy some fresh ingredients at the grocery store and cook something just because it looked so good on the screen that I want it for myself now.

And I think that really is a huge success, given that the initial design idea Miyamoto started from with the Zelda series was exploring the countryside where he grew up. The games are so full of that sense of Going Outside And Discovering that it bleeds over into real life, and I go, hey, I can do that too. I can do this for real. Yeah, I'm not going to defeat a great evil or anything, but disconnecting a bit and just enjoying time outside is good for your mind and body, but it's easy to forget to do. The games don't polish it up so hard that it ends up feeling unattainable. The little details that make it work are all there in reality. It's just pretty and stylized enough to pop without divorcing it from being a real activity that you can do.

Anyway that's what I was thinking about while I've been playing Echoes of Wisdom and thinking I should actually finish Tears of the Kingdom, which I haven't, because if I do it'll be over and I'll be sad. And also going, man, why do I want to go for a hike every time I play one of these games...?