#and not their married 5 years partner they have a home with. id rather just date a single person

[mejomonster]

I'm torn between liking anyone on a dating app even remotely mildly compatible for at the minimum a shallow friendship

Or being more realistic and only actually liking people I'd genuinely want to get to know romantically potentially

[bonny-kookoo]

Hangang River Bride (OT7 x Hybrid!Reader): Story summary (chapters 1-5)

Pairing: OT7 x Hybrid!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Hybrid!AU, Future smut

Warnings: Mentions of myth & Folklore, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, so much Angst, Past Abuse, mentions of domestic violence, rough handling and not in the kinky way, I'm adding more as the story progresses, Cat hybrid Jimin, Dog Hybrid Taehyung, Human Jin & Namjoon, Cat hybrid Yoongi, Dog hybrid Hoseok, Fox hybrid reader, Wolf hybrid Jungkook

Summary:

(Originally posted by R0ADKiLL on AO3, taken over by me with her consent in July 2020.)

Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon- a married couple and well known Hybrid owners. While Seokjin helps Hybrids as a very respected lawyer, Kim Namjoon focuses on studying them to help the world understand better. Their Hybrids Jimin and Yoongi, two rescued cat hybrids from a shelter, were their first- now the house is full of booming life with Taehyung and Hoseok, the two dogs they had adopted soon after, and Jungkook, the newest addition. Saved by a rescue organisation and taken in by Namjoon partially for his studies and partially just to give him a loving home, they seem to be finally complete. Until they meet the girl at the Hangang bridge.

Or: Y/N tries to sneakily steal Jungkooks lamb skewers, and almost gets herself eaten.

Careful: A lot of writing under the cut. Mobile users with older phones should switch to a browser page since the app could crash. I'm speaking out of experience lol.

Kim Seokjin enjoyed the simple things in life. Such as the situation he was in right now; in the arms of his husband, sleeping in because they both finally got a day off for once. "Are you worried?" He asks his Partner, who seems oddly serious despite the comfortable silence surrounding them. He knows that Namjoon knows what he's talking about; for the first time in months, Jungkook, their most recent hybrid addition to their family, has gone out by himself with Taehyung, the almost hyperactive australian shepherd hybrid. Jungkook can't be left alone by himself outside their four walls due to safety laws; all because he is a predator hybrid. As a Wolf, together with his alpha-gene, he has to be accompanied by at least one other Person; hybrid or human. Namjoon found it odd at first, but getting to know more about predator hybrids made him understand the thought behind it. Even though Jungkook was one of the most well behaved and down to earth hybrids he'd ever met, there was still a small chance of him acting on impulse. And it wouldn't even be his fault. Maybe he shouldn't leave the house then, but Jin and he decided that he should have a bit of freedom as well; after all, he was partially a person as well. He deserved to make decisions and have some alone time- as alone as he could be. "They're gonna be fine. Taehyung will keep an eye on him." Jin spoke softly, placing a small kiss to the bare shoulder of his partner, who just nodded, before falling asleep again.

"I'm hungry Jungkookie, let's get something to eat. We can eat it over there!" Taehyung pointed excitedly to the park, while Jungkook just nodded. He didn't like to decide things; he never learned after all. This was all still pretty new to him, even though they had been living together for almost a full year. Growing up in a cage treated like a full blown animal does that to you, they said to him at the rescue center. He's slowly coming out of his shell though; thanks to Jin and Namjoon, and all the other hybrids he now considers his pack, he finally lets loose once in a while.

Grabbing some food, the both walk around the park for a bit, finding a perfect spot to eat. Jungkook always thought what it would be like to have Lunch with friends at this park, never thinking it could all eventually happen. "There you go. Do you need anything else?" Taehyung asked, but Jungkook smiled and denied. He had more than he could've ever asked for if he was being honest.

All while this happened, the two male hybrids chatting away actively, the small fox hybrid saw her chance to strike. Modern pet hybrids didn't hear her usually, and both of them seemed to be of the sorts- even though she could smell something weird on the black haired one. Her own snarling stomach however made her stop thinking, slowly inching forwards until her small hand was able to reach the white plastic bag with the rest of the food still packed for the other ones home- until the dark haired one whipped his head around.

It all happened so fast, the girl snatching the bag and running for her life- quite literally, because Jungkook completely ignored Taehyung shouting at him to stop and come back, his mind running on autopilot. She was stealing, from him, from his pack, and he had to get her. Deep in his brain he knew she probably didn't meant any harm, but his instincts did the thinking for now, his long legs easily catching up to her much smaller form. Grabbing the straps of her honestly pretty torn dress, he yanked her backwards, making her fall on the ground with a loud noise. He threw himself over her, his body hovering, hands holding her struggling ones in a strong grip while his legs tried to keep her from kicking. Only when he heard Taehyung whimpering for him to not do anything, he looked up, noticing the terrified look on his friend's face. He looked down again much calmer now, taking in her appearance for the first real time. Her clothes were a mix of things; two differently colored overknee socks, shoes that looked not to be her size at all, but laces bound around her ankles to keep them from slipping. Her dress was white; probably, because the dirt stuck to it colored it all shades of colors. The fabric was torn at the seams, the entire thing not fitting her at all. But neither her clothing, nor the skinny appearance or the bruises and fading cuts caught his attention. It were her hybrid features.

Her ears, turned backwards so hard they seemed to be wanting to dissappear into her skull were a dirty white, rimmed with pitchblack. Her tail swishing back and forth underneath her was puffed with panic, probably white underneath all the dirt with a greyish black stripe on it. The fur was tangled, parts matted- he knew what this meant. She was probably either feral, or came from a place he knew all too well. "I'm gonna let go. Try to run and I will catch you again." Jungkook spoke lowly, and suddenly the small female went completely still, apart from her shivering, which was probably due to her inner panic and fear. Taehyung watched, wanting to get closer, but choosing to stay a respecting few steps away, too scared he might make her want to flee again. "What's your name?" Jungkook asked after he had sit up on his heels, arms crossed in front of him. Her scent gave her away to him; he already noticed she was a predator hybrid as well. When she didn't answer, he sighed. "Do you even have one?" He asked, his entire posture turning more sympathetic towards her once she finally shook her head in denial. It all made sense to him, even to Taehyung who'd never known such situations himself luckily.

Said hybrid jumped a little when his phone rang, Namjoons ID making him answer. "Hyung?" He answered, before Jungkook held out his hand for the device, Taehyung understanding. "Hyung, Jungkookie wants to talk to you." He said, nodding at something he said over the phone before giving it to his younger brother, wary not to move to fast so you wouldn't flinch too much.

"I'm gonna bring someone home." He simply said, looking at the girl in front of him. In no way in hell he would let her just walk off like that, knowing where she probably came from. He knew this could very well be overstepping a line for him in his new home, but Namjoon simply saying that it was okay and asking if he should set out another plate for food. Jungkook chose not to say anything about her condition yet, knowing it would be rude for him to talk about her like that now. He simply said his goodbyes, giving Taehyung his phone back, before slowly standing up, picking up his plastic bag along the way. "Come on." He said, taking off his zip hoodie to give to her, helping her hide her pretty beat up form in his big clothing. She seemed wary at first, not trusting the entire situation yet, but choosing the jacket after a moment of thinking it over. Taehyung smiled at her comfortingly, but keeping his distance, not knowing how to react. He'd been like that with jungkook at first too, unsure and shy almost. Jungkook however seemed calm, giving him reassurance that at least one of them knew how to handle the situation.

Things however took a turn once he noticed the girl next to him paling even more than she already had; breath turning uneven and eyes suddenly closing, she fell to her knees first before Jungkook could react. "What do we do?" Taehyung asked with a bit of panic in his tone, Jungkook now looking like he was out of answers as well, before picking her up and carrying her back home.

Luckily for them, the park they were at wasn't that far away, making it easy and fast to reach the large house rather quick. Opening the door, Jin started to turn around to greet them, before he noticed the unconscious figure in the arms of the wolf hybrid, automatically shooing both inside and turning off the stove before telling them to put her on the couch.

"What happened?" He asked, but Taehyung was talking so fast his brain couldn't process all of the information at once, making him simply nod. "Who is she?" But at this question, both fell silent. None of them knew for sure, Namjoon walking downstairs after hearing all the commotion, the rest of the hybrids slowly following, concerned faces everywhere.

"I don't know. She said she doesn't have a name. I've seen her before though." Jungkook simply stated, making everyone frown at the realization what he meant. She probably came from the same company as him, shipped illegally and living with a highly possible abusive owner. Just like him.

Namjoon kneeled down in front of the couch, softly inspecting her hybrid features, careful not to wake her. "From what I see I would say fox hybrid." He stated, standing up and crossing his arms.

"But her ears aren't red!" Jimin, the cat hybrid asked timidly from his spot near the couch at her feet, feeling concerned at her lack of movement. Namjoon smiled a bit, placing a hand reassuringly on top of his head.

"They don't always have to be. Foxes have different breeds and colors as well." He said, and Jimin seemed as entranced as ever. The young cat hybrid always liked to almost soak up every bit of knowledge Namjoon gave him like a sponge, though he was known to be pretty forgetful due to an accident he had as a small kitten.

"I'd say lets bring her in our guest room, let her sleep, and after she wakes up, we'll see what we do." Jin stated, making everyone nod. To wait was the best answer for now.

Waking up honestly never felt so pleasant as now. Something that should've set you at ease, but it did the exact opposite; not knowing where you were plus the lack of consciousness after just waking up made your fur stand up, and your body shooting out of the bed into the nearest corner. Accidentally pushing down a small table lamp in the process made all hybrids and humans react; a soft knock was heard on the closed door, asking for entrance. But you couldn't answer, even if you wanted to.

The door opened hesitantly, a cat hybrid with black ears and Sandy brown hair making it's way inside gently, before sitting down with his back pressed against the closed door lazily. He seemed calm, collected, but you couldn't read his intentions. He didnt talk; he maybe knew you wouldn't answer anyways.

A long staring contest followed, or maybe he was just waiting for your heavy breathing to calm down, because as soon as he felt you were calm enough he spoke. "If you're hungry, we're having dinner." Noticing your surprised face he had to swallow the chuckle bubbling in his throat. "Its almost noon. Just so you know." He said, and noticed how your cheeks turned pink in embarrassment. He slowly stood up, opening the door to walk outside, but leaving it open. Leaving the choice to you.

After a moment or two, you slowly stood up, legs still a bit wobbly. You didnt know your way around the entire house, but your ears caught noise from downstairs- a lot of voices mixing together. It felt odd to you- where were the guards? Slowly trying to find your way downstairs (you've never really walked stairs before, neither up or down for that matter) your movement stopped as soon as you noticed eyes on you. Holding onto the banisters, you felt insecure, not daring to move another inch. You heard a chair scrape on the tiled floor, and someone stepping up to you. Closing your eyes you got ready to be scolded- this had been a test hadn't it? But as you opened one eye to peak, a hand was held in front of you. "Come on." The gentle voice sounded a bit familiar, and the face was very much so. The boy with the dark curly hair from the park stood one step below you, a gentle spark in his eyes. Slowly taking his much larger hand, you both made your way down the stairs carefully, him always stopping and taking it slow and steady so you wouldnt fall.

"Ah, sit down! I'm Jimin!" Said hybrid cat told you excitedly while pointing to his side, an empty chair waiting for you. His multi colored feline features gave his entire feelings away, and you internally found it a bit cute if you were honest. You looked at the chair for a second, and looked around after a bit as if to ask for permission first. A tall man with broad shoulders and a very handsome face nodded with a smile, and you sat down as quietly as you could. Jimin immediately started to fill your plate with food, your eyes sparkling at the view in front of you; never having received such amounts of nice smelling and looking foods before. Looking up, you felt awkward, yet once everyone around you started to eat too, you took the nod from the handsome stranger again as a form of permission. But there was a problem.

You'd never used cutlery before.

Sensing your trouble, the dog hybrid on your other side (the same one from the park) started to cut up your food into bite size pieces, before he gave you a fork, holding his as well to give you an example on how to hold it. You had to try a few times but eventually made it; the smile of everyone sensing a funny feeling through your body. You had to restrain yourself from reacting too boldly, but if you could you wouldve jumped in your spot at how delicious it was. However, the speed you were eating in gave away how nice it was. The dog hybrid with the marbled floppy ears chuckled a bit while cutting up more food for you and loading your plate until you gave him a sign to stop.

Slowly, one of the two humans stood up collecting the dishes; another odd thing. Why didnt they tell their hybrids to do that? You stood up and attempted to help, when a hand was placed on your shoulder- warm and gentle. "Ah, we'll handle it. Do you maybe want to take a bath?" The handsome human told you, and your eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, obviously asking if he was serious. He smiled at you and nodded. "Do you want someone to help you?" Yiu nodded, not really knowing your way around, your eyes spotting the dark curly hair from the couch, he however wasnt looking at you. The human caught your stare however, turning around. "Jungkook, can you help our friend here run a bath? Oh, and maybe jimin has some clothing that'll fit her-" he said, but Jungkook had already stood up, walking over to you.

The bathroom was large, and as you sat on the closed toilet just how Jungkook had instructed you to do so while he turned on the water, you took the opportunity to look around. How long does it take to clean the entire thing? Would you be in charge of that? But the others didnt have to do the dishes either, so maybe this was one of those homes one of the domestic puppy's had talked about at the mansion. As if he could sense your thoughts, Jungkook started to talk while he poured a nice smelling purple liquid into the water, making it foam. "We dont have to actually work here y'know." He started, and you listened to him with a bit of confusion. He didnt push it though. "I'll leave you to it now... if you need help just uh.. call me or Someone or whatever." He said and walked out after turning the water off. You sat there for a bit, not knowing if you could do anything, but deciding to just go for it. Stripping your clothes you gently got into the tub, warmth surrounding you as well as a nice flowery scent. You happily started to wash yourself, not caring for a moment as you rubbed your ears and tail clean of all the grime that had piled up, grinning once the fur started to turn white and black again, the dirt finally coming off. Washing your hair you finished off, stepping out and wrapping a towel around you.

Opening the door you peaked around the corner, until you softly called out for the wolf. You thought he maybe didnt hear you, but suddenly you heard feet stepping upstairs and soon he stood in front of you, holding some clothes out. "Here." He said, and at your look of confusion he simple looked to the side, almost as if he was embarrassed. "They're uh.. mine. I- so you can- I mean baggy clothes are comfortable so, yeah.." he said, and you smiled at that, his eyes suddenly widening at the view he got. This was the first smile he'd ever seen you display, and he couldn't help but feel his heart rate increase.

You changed into his clothing before finally coming downstairs, a bit slow but finally without any help, looking a bit awkward. Someone cooing at you made you look in the direction of the sound, spotting the living room it seemed, all hybrids and humans sitting down. The puppy hybrid with the marbled ears had turned around on the couch, looking at you, while the other tall human came to you, towel and brush in hand. "Come on, before you catch a cold." He said, patting his lap for you to sit on. You hesitated for a moment, until you finally sat down, your back facing him. "I'm Namjoon by the way." He said, until he pointed to the broad shouldered man sitting on the other couch. "This is Seokjin. He's the eldest, kind of the head of the family." He stated, gently drying your hair with a towel before he started to dry your ears as well. "Taehyung and Jungkook were the ones you met at the park." Pointing towards the marble eared puppy hybrid and the wolf sitting next to him. "You already met Jimin. Next to him is Yoongi, the one who called you for dinner." He stated, before he pointed to the one who seemed to hold back his excitement the most as if not to scare you. "And that's Hoseok. Hes kinda quiet because he tends to get a bit loud. We dont want to scare you." The towel felt soft against your features, until he took a brush to run it through your hair. "What kind are you?" He gently asked, to which you answered on a quiet voice.

"A marble fox." You stated, everyone listening closely because of how quiet you spoke.

Namjoon nodded, visibly interested, but keeping it in for now. "Do you need anything specific concerning your diet?" He asked, and you shook your head. Not that you'd know. Until now, hybrid pellets were your best bet concerning food. "I see. I know you probably dont want to talk about it, but it's important." He started, turning your around so you sat sideways on his lap. "Do you want to go back to your owner?" He simply asked, and by the way your ears instantly turned backwards, everyone knew the answer. Jimin instantly moved forwards, reaching out to pat your head gently, making your eyes widen at the gesture.

"We wont make you go back. She can stay, cant she Joon?" Jimin asked, looking hopeful at his owner. The calico hybrid had always been extremely social and clingy towards people he liked, and it showed; he took a liking to you, letting you go would prove difficult now. That was one of the many reasons he'd ended up in a shelter; his high maintenance nature and need for attention made him not an easy pet. He felt for you.

"Its not that simple Jiminie, but well try our best." He said, sharing a glance with his husband on the other couch. They'd have to find out if you were in any database first, and after that Jin could start collecting necessary documents for your adoption.

"Wait, wait!" Taehyubg suddenly said, making everyone look up to him, until he sat down in front of you. "You dont have a name right?" You said, making everyone gasp a bit, apart from Jungkook who knew already. "Then we'll give you one!" He said, looking around, and everyone started thinking. Giving a name to a hybrid was a huge thing; after all, you'd be carrying this forever. You started to get a bit nervous, everyone trying out names until Jungkook spoke up, gaze straight on you.

"Y/N."

And for one once, everyone instantly agreed.

The next morning started slow. You found out that both humans, Seokjin and namjoon didnt work on weekends, and took the time off to spend time with everyone. It felt a bit foreign not knowing what your exact purpose was.

"Master Seokjin?" You asked as you sat on one of the kitchen chairs to watch him cook. He turned around a bit before answering.

"Jin is fine, really. That title is.. really not necessary. We're all equal." He spoke in a gentle tone, and you noted not to call him that anymore.

"What is my purpose in this household?" You questioned with great curiosity, and Jin was close to answering until a hand was placed on your head.

"Being cute." Yoongi answered before sitting on the kitchen board, making seokjin shake his head a bit, because he wasnt supposed to, but did it anyways. "We all dont really have a job or anything. We help around the house here and there, Jimin takes care of the garden for example, Taehyung has his pet bunnies outside, and so on. It's more like a hobby though." He explained while continuously stealing pieces of bacon from jin.

"But.."you started, frowning a bit. "Why have hybrids then?"

"Because, we wanted to. Companionship. Simple as that." Jin answered, before ushering Yoongi out the kitchen, who just smirked as he walked out lazily. How he could get away with his behavior was a mystery to you. Just as you wanted to ask something however, a yawn interrupted you. You woke up early again today, a habit you would find hard to get over.

The wolf with the long hair came in, picking you up without asking at all. "Yah, Jungkookie, you cant just carry her around like a ragdoll!" Jin said, the Saif wolf however just shrugged and walked out, putting you down the couch before laying down himself, arms around you.

"Jungkook.?" You gently asked, but he made a sound to silence you.

"Naptime." He simply said, putting his leg over yours for good measure, as if he wanted to make sure you wouldnt escape. During those two days the wolf had been constantly around you, always keeping an eye out for you, making sure you didnt get uncomfortable. It felt as if he'd unofficially claimed you as his, a fact that felt a bit weird to you. There was nothing to claim. You were a used product, still unsure and constantly confused. But before your thoughts could fall any deeper, the gently sound of his heartbeat against your back made you fall asleep.

Shopping was something that was foreign, again. You knew how it worked of course, but you'd never been out before to buy things- and for you for that matter. You slowly got used to your name however, your brain inking the sound into your memories, so that you'd never forget it again. People seemed so carefree, your companions happy and joking around, Jungkook never daring to let go of your hand, as if he was scared to loose you, and to be fair, a lot of people were out this time.

"You okay?" He asked once he noticed you staring around, and you nodded, looking up to him, since you were a good bit shorter.

"Yeah. It's just.. a lot to take in." You said, while he looked at clothing. "Do you think I.." you started, and he looked at you, urging you to continue. "Stay? Like, could I stay with you.. and your family?"

He smiled at that, squeezing the hand he was holding a bit. "I'll do everything I can to make that happen." His words made your tail sway a bit, the first real time it happened, and Jungkook cooed internally at the sight. And although he didnt voice it out, he made a promise to get more reactions like that out of you.

Together everyone made their way home after everything was bought, you sitting next to Jungkook and Tae on both sides. Things like these were still exhausting for you, causing you to eventually fall asleep, your ears tickling Taehyungs neck a bit. He looked down on you, trying to burn the image into his mind. You looked so peaceful, angelic even, he couldn't explain it.

Deciding not to wake you he unbuckled your seatbelt, slowly moving you out the car and carrying you inside the house. As soon as he laid you on the couch and tried to walk away however, your hand grabbed his pants, gently tugging to get him back. He smiled and complied, hugging you on the couch happily; you seemed to open up to everyone one by one, making him exhale with fondness.

"Come on, let's get you to bed then." He gently said, as everyone around you said their good nights and walked upstairs into their rooms.

"Can I.." you started, but slowly stood up without finishing, making Taehyung grab your hand this time, tables having turned with him keeping you from walking away now. "I.. uh, you can say no, but maybe I could like... sleep in your room.?" You asked, not looking at him out of embarrassment. His reaction however, was a smile so bright and boxy you swore you could've melted right there on the spot.

"Of course cuddlebug. come on!"

"This is bad." Namjoon mumbled, carrying an opened letter in his hand while carding his unoccupied hand through his hair. Seokjin looked at him with worry, walking towards him to catch a glimpse of whatever he'd been reading.

Earlier that day, they've gone out for breakfast, jimin suggesting you should ge used to being outside more. Since Jungkook was someone who slept long, Taehyung and Jimin had taken you out instead, happy to get the surprisingly clingy wolf off of you for a few hours. Needless to say, the canine hybrid however wasnt too happy to find you missing when he woke up, a little jealousy mixed with worry making him fussy until you finally came back.

The news in this letter however weren't too good. Apparently, your old owner has taken notice that you've been sheltered at his place without his consent, asking for a date to quote unquote "return his property" as he stated, making both humans scrunch up their faces with disgust at the wording. Jin has had his suspicions about you being treated poorly in the past, and it seems like he was right about it.

"Should we tell her?" Namjoon asked, not sure if it was something you genuinely should know yet. Maybe there was a way to get you out of this without making everyone feel uneasy or restless. They both didnt want you to go back to that place, having already locked you into their hearts. They also thought you deserved to know, making both worry. However, a deep voice startlet both.

"Tell her what?" Jungkook asked, eyes glazed over with something they couldn't quite place. "Huh?" He said again, getting impatient. He was easy to rile up in general, but with you he seemed to be especially touchy. Jin simply gave him the letter that was in question, and the wolf immediately widened his eyes, looking back at them. "He cant be serious. We wont let her go back there." He said, scoffing, but looking darkly at his friends when there was no answer. "Right?" He asked, but there still was no reaction other than uncomfortable silence.

"Jungkook it's not that easy-" but he was soon interrupted by the young wolf.

"Are you mental?! Dont tell me you're actually giving her away like what?!" He raged out, heart racing with the fear that he could be separated from you. "She trusts you hyung! You cant be serious.!" He said, getting quieter the more their silence stretched.

The main reason was that they legally had no ownership. They couldn't afford going against authorities with the other hybrids in their possession, they had to think about what was best after all. And jungkook deep down knew as well- but he considered you a part of his pack already. Loosing you would hurt alone. But losing you to an abusive situation would drive him insane.

The door opened, happy voices cutting threw the heavy atmosphere in the house, but before they could reach the three, jungkook dashed into his room, needing to cool down. Both jimin and Taehyung looked at their owners confused, but the only thing they could do was sigh. This was a difficult situation. And the outcome could be horrible.

You knew something was up.

The atmosphere had changed, both humans were starting to grow distant from you, keeping a safe bubble around them you couldn't seem to join. Slowly but surely, even though you had a small glimmer of hope this wouldnt happen, you realized what was going on.

They wanted you gone. But they just didnt know how to tell you.

So what was the best thing to do in a situation like that? Exactly. Take away the burden of decision making, and do it for them. Softly folding your clothes, you made sure to leave your room as tidy and clean as possible, as a form of thank you for their hostility. You didnt hold a grudge against them; they had to take care of a lot of wonderful hybrids already. You were a burden that needed to be lifted. Slipping on a red beanie that you may or may not have stolen from jungkook, along with some warmer clothes since it was winter, you opened the window. Walking outside the door was absolutely impossible, since it creaked a bit every time it opened, but the window wasnt a problem to climb out of.

As soon as your shoes (timberlands, a thing that jungkook always cooed over because they looked tiny compared to his own pair) touched the soft crunchy leaves that weren't covered in snow, you breathed in. You made it this far. You could go even farther as well. You believed in that.

Meanwhile, jin stirred in his sleep a little, cold icy air hitting his exposed feet. Did he forget to turn the heater on? No, it smelled like fresh air, even though his bedroom windows were closed. It took him a sleepy moment to make a very scary thought creep until his mind. Instantly getting up and walking until the hallway, opening your bedroom window, his fear became a reality he hoped to turn out as a mere dream. But the soft wind accompanied by small snowflakes making it's way into the empty room was easy too real. And he swore he could hear his heart crack like glass as soon as he heard the broken growl behind him, not needing to turn around to know whose it was. Namjoon tried to calm the wolf down, but it only caused him to be even louder, luring a tired Taehyung, and even Yoongi out of their sleep.

"Whe-where is she.?" Taehyung slowly asked, fearing the answer he'd get. He knew he cared deeply for you, but jimin would simply be heartbroken by the fact that you left. But before Namjoon could explain, since Jin was still simply staring, frozen, Jungkooks dark voice cut through.

"Gone. Just like they wanted." He said, suddenly speedwalking down the stairs, slipping on his shoes and throwing over a jacked, dashing out, blinded by rage and fear for you. He didn't even hear his friends yelling for him to come back; his mind running on autopilot, his only mission:

Getting you back.

Warapped up in one of Taehyungs oversized coats, walking along the streets littered with cafes, you wondered if leaving was really the best idea. How could you really have gotten attached so fast though? It wasnt really like you, considering your past experiences with humans, and other hybrids as well.

Pulling the red beanie a little down to make sure it covered you well, you decided to make a trip back to the very park you first met the large family. It felt odd to be back, knowing what had happened- and how far you've come. You had actual clothing now, some snacks in your pockets to keep you going for a while, and some newfound energy you didn't even think you could have. Deep down you had known all along that a future wasn't in it for you; this family was a well established pack already- it felt rather rude to intrude for you. But maybe now you could actually maybe approach people a bit better after coming out of your shell a bit- but the more you thought about it, the less it felt appealing to you.

Because no matter how kind a person would be, jimin would've been so much kinder. No matter how happy someone would make you, Hoseok could've made you smile so much brighter. No matter how smart someone would be, Namjoon could've shown you so much more in this world. No matter how tight someone would hug you, Taehyungs hugs would've felt so much better. No matter how calm a silence would be, Yoongi's would've felt so much more comforting to you. No matter how well someone would take care of you, Jin would've mothered you even worse.

And no matter how much someone would try to make you feel safe, Jungkook would've made you feel so much more protected. As if nothing could ever hurt you in this world.

You sniffled a bit, noticing your eyes stinging with tears that threatened to spill from your dark thoughts alone. But thats what you felt like; for the first time in a long while, you truly felt alone. And it wasn't a nice feeling. If back in the day loneliness comforted you because it was better than being with 'him', it now felt suffocating. You felt small, tiny, and truly vulnerable. And you hated it.

You shook your head, scouting out a place to spend the night without getting noticed by authorities. It was back to your old habits again, your knowledge about the surrounding area and how to survive out here helping you to fit back into your situation again.

However; together with your old situation came an old perso as well, his greeting sending cold shivers down your spine- and that had nothing to do with the flaky-breeze the winter brought.

"There you are."

Somewhere in Seoul, a distressed wolf was almost running down the streets during the early morning hours, his skin running hot even considering the freezing temperatures. But this only added to his worries.

Were you scared? Cold? Hungry? Or worse?

What if you got hurt?

Where would you sleep?

His mind automatically pictured the worst; you, hiding somewhere, cold, distressed, and all alone, vulnerable to every predator around. He knew deep down that you were strong, that you probably wore clothes to keep you warm, you were smart enough to think before you acted, but his instincts wouldn't let him rest at all. He almost jumped at a heaving Yoongi; the cat wasn't really used to running after the way more active Wolf hybrid, but he had to- if someone saw him running wild without anyone with him, they would have even more problems at hand than just you. "Jungkook-" He began, but before he could even get another word out, the younger Hybrid grabbed his shoulders, his eyes sparkling with fear, showing their bare, reddish-brown color, a sign that he was slipping into a very dangerous headspace for a predator hybrid.

"Hyung, she's out there- she- what if someone gets her? What if her old owner finds her, you know how bad it was where she came from, what if she gets hurt, and I'm not there to help her, I'm supposed to protect her, I-" He was breathing heavily, his eyes opening wide with the fear that his own words began to fire up in his chest.

"Jungkook, we'll find her-" But namjoon may not have been the best person to speak up in that current moment, and Yoongi thanked whoever god was in charge that day, because thankfully the streets were empty this early in the morning.

Because as soon as Jungkook heard his owners voice, his entire body changed in posture- he was ready to jump him. Thankfully Jin had arrived as well, rushing to hold the alpha back while he wasn't thinking straight and yelling at the person he should be able to trust with his entire being. But in this moment, Namjoon seemed to be his worst enemy. "Its your fault! You wanted this didn't you?! Admit it, you're glad she took the decision off your way too high shoulders and decided to make it easy for you!" He yelled, his body language basically screaming hostility. "Its because you're always right- but you never make decisions do you! You only follow rules if others follow with you, and you only run with whatever shit someone seems to spit, you're a coward!" He said, slowly calming down since his body was getting tired. He hadn't been this riled up in a long time- the stress finally taking a toll on him now.

Jin and Yoongi managed to get him back inside the car, leaving Namjoon and Jimin alone. The cat hybrid had followed along as soon as he heard that you left them so suddenly- he was distressed about it as well, but he worried about his entire family situation too. He nodded towards Yoongi, who made a gesture to tell him they'd bring Jungkook back home where Taehyung and Hoseok were waiting as well- having the alpha hybrid running wild while not being in the best state of mind wasn't the best idea. It could also prove getting you back difficult as well, seeing as you were still pretty skittish whenever he was getting only a bit louder when playing video games with Taehyung.

"Lets go back to the park. Maybe she's gonna stay in an area she considers familiar? I know I would.." Jimin said softly, gently tugging at the sleeve of Namjoons jacket, to get him to move. But he had troubles concentrating, Jungkooks voice echoing inside his mind almost hauntingly. He knew that deep down it was just his distressed wolf speaking, but maybe this was what he really thought of him. And the worst part was that he wasn't even wrong about it. Maybe he was a coward. He was insecure, and he shouldn't be. Not as a person, not as a lover, not as an owner, and not in his field of work. But he shook his head, nodding at Jimin who slowly started walking into the direction of the park.

Namjoon couldn't hold it in on their way as they walked towards the place they had initially met you- or in this case, where Taehyung and Jungkook met you. "Do you think he's right?" He asked softly, not looking at jimin, and trying to look at every corner in front of him to maybe spot you.

"You know how he gets Joonie." Jimin began softly, his red bucket hat hiding his ears, but he could see them move slighty under it. "He wasn't in the best state of mind. I think he was just.. out of it I guess." He said, his senses trying to notice something he could identify as you.

But namjoon only sighed. "But he had a point, no?" He began, his brows furrowing while thinking about it. "He may have blown his thoughts out of proportion, but the root of them was there. I know he's right. But I don't know why it bothers me so much." He said, his steps getting harder as they began to walk on grassy grounds, finally reaching the park.

"That's because its you. You hate it when other people are right." Jimin chuckled, making his statement appear less sharp than it was. "But that's you, and that's why you're so good at anything involving your brain. You and Jungkook are pretty similar; you both hate loosing." He said, his smile spreading as he spotted a familiar coat near a streetlight. However, his pupils became slits in distress, his mind slipping just like Jungkooks as soon as he noticed your body language- you stood in front of a person, a stranger, and your entire being screamed fear at him, making him taste the bitter flavour even though he wasn't in your place. "joonie-" He said, but the man in question was already walking foward.

"Hey, what're you doing?" He said rather loudly, his voice sharp edged, not leaving any room for a smile. The man simply turned towards him, holding his hand out.

"Ah, you're the person that took it in right? I assume because you look quite like the Kim Namjoon I saw on your profile picture while we where in contact via E-Mail." He said, his voice full of a weird sense of pride, making Jimin step back a little. He desperately wanted to get to you, but his fear was getting the better of him, instinctively hiding behind his owner.

"That's right." Namjoon simply said, but refraining from shaking the man's hand. He wanted nothing to do with this person, knowing what kinds of businesses he was involved into, you quite possibly having been a part of this too. Because this had been why he had been so hesitant in answering Jungkook. It was difficult to go against someone of that size, and they needed to think about their actions before actually doing anything. But again Jungkooks words rang inside his ears. He wouldn't stay a coward in this situation. He had the law in his favor. "I also advice you to step away from her because, as you should know, hybrids get anxious when someone other than their owners are too close to them." He said, making the man scoff.

Jimin wanted to lash out as he harshly grabbed the end of your tail making you squeak in pain and him laugh, Namjoons face contorting slowly with growing anger. "Ah yes, but we both know how the situation is. That's my property, and therefore mine to take back. I do thank you for keeping her in your apartment and feeding her, but I have business to attend to."

The cat hybrid was silently crying now, his sympathetic character making him feel just as much distress as you felt, the man still keeping a tight hold of your tail- something you hated as you had told Jimin many times before. He felt helpless- but Namjoon would surprise everyone, just like every time.

He simply took out his phone, tapping a bit here and there before opening a document, holding it towards the stranger. "Legally she is mine currently since you're under official surveilance involving several issues we won't get in too deep. Now, would you mind letting go of my hybrid sir?" He simply said, voice calm.

The man simply scoffed, pushing you forward onto the gravel, making you hiss as you felt your nice jeans scratch open, revealing your knees which scraped open as well on the ground, along with your hands that tried to soften the blow. Jimin dashed foward now, not caring if the man was close to him or not, immediately shielding your body from anyone around him, softly purring in order to calm you, and himself down. The man simply left, Namjoon softly walking over to both his hybrids, patting Jimin's back to get him to reveal you towards him.

He made you sit down, the cold seeping into you but you didnt care- your hands and feet stung, making you tear up. But the reason you were crying was because you were both upset and relieved- maybe there was a chance of staying with them, even if it was just for a while longer. "Can I look at it?" He asked softly, and you just sniffeled, nodding. Namjoon knew it was a bad moment, but he couldn't help but admire you in that moment. Even with a runny nose, all red from crying and the cold, eyes shiny with tears, you had that adorable pouty face making him melt. He observed your scraped up knees and hands, softly brushing over them to at least get most of the dirt out before helping you get up. "Lets go home, yeah? You scared everyone to death." He said, laughing a bit to lift the mood. Jimin, still a bit teary as well, held your arm, since your hands still hurt from the incident. Jungkoo would run wild seeing you hurt, but he would eventually calm down, hopefully. Both Jimin and Namjoon hoped first however, that he left the apartment standing.

"It's never gonna be the same Taehyung." Jungkook said still angry, sitting on the living room couch with his head in his hands. The Dog hybrid had managed to at least calm him down a little, but overall there was still a rather dark mood surrounding everyone. Tae himself was sad as well, however he pushed his own feelings back in order to at least not fuel the fire even more. The front door jingled a bit with the sound of someone inserting a key, and at first, no one really did anything- until Jungkook got hit with your scent, his head snapping up at the sound of you-

sniffling.

Where you crying? One look towards you confirmed that you were, his mind running on autopilot as soon as he saw those glassy orbs looking at him. He jumped over the back of the couch, almost tripping over the carpet and his own shoes he simply had taken off mindlessly, immediately observing you to look for injuries. "What happened?!" He said in a rush, his large hands taking your small ones in his, hissing at the scratches on the inside of your palms.

"Come on Jungkook, I need to treat y/n first, then we can talk." Namjoon said, Jimin helping you take off your jacket and leading you to the bathroom downstairs. Jungkook followed silently, his pack instincts simply refusing to get him to leave you out of his sight for even a moment. He sat down in front of the open bathroom door with his legs crossed, watching as Jimin made you sit on the closed toilet seat, Namjoon getting a small towel and filling the sink with warm water, beginning to slowly clean up your cuts and scrapes from any dirt and gravel. Every time you hissed, Jimins ears twitched and Jungkook sat up straighter to get a look at you- not because he didn't trust namjoon, but because he just had to make sure you were okay.

Namjoon took out some larger bandaids and placed them onto your knees since they were actually bleeding, but simply brushed over the backs of your hands when he was done. "Try not to do much with them okay? Its better if we leave them like that. It'll heal faster." He said, and you nodded, still a bit pouty and awfully quiet, but everyone could see your interest in the scent that slowly began to creep through the apartment; jin's cooking. "Alright buttercup, go get changed and then let's eat, alright?" He said, silently telling you that you both would talk in private soon. You knew he had made a decision, and you hoped it was for you, not against.

Jungkook stood up, stepping aside so you all could walk outside, Taehyung running towards you and hugging you tightly. "Don't do that again." He mumbled, and you nodded, your own cheeks growing a bit red at the close proximity. "Lets go! Jin made your favorite!" He said, and you followed behind him.

"Hyung-" Jungkook started, thinking about how to apologize, since it was needed, but the older one beat him to it.

"It's fine Jungkook. It maybe wasn't the best moment, but you were right. I guess I can't leave the protecting-part solely to you, huh?" He said, making the young alphawolf scoff and playfully push his shoulder.

After you all ate, you slowly went outside the kitchen after helping jin a bit, even though he scolded you for using your hands. Suddenly, someone came up in front of you, wrapping his own hands around your tiny form compared to him, and burying his nose into your head between your ears, the soft fur of them brushing against his cheeks, making him sigh happily. "You're part of my pack you brat." He mumbled into your hair, squeezing you a bit tighter while careful not to hurt you. "I don't like people taking away whats mine." He said again, and suddenly, he heard the rest of his family coo at him and you, making him raise an eyebrow. He had hugged you before, so what? But then he noticed it too.

The happy wagging of your tail.

This have been 5 Chapters, combined in one post. Because R0ADKiLL's chapters are fairly short I've decided to make one out of them, simply to get you all on the same page of the stories progress up until now. The writing officially belongs to R0ADKiLL, not me. Only future chapters are mine. =) Thanks again to R0ADKiLL for giving me her baby practically, I promise I'll take care of it!

[allmygyus]

A Different Type of Love

⇢synopsis: Seokmin was who y/n truly loved, after 5 years of being together Seokmin gets into an accident and the life they lived together was completely erased from his memory. ⇢pairings: reader x Lee Seokmin ⇢genre: angst ⇢wordcount: 2546 ⇢tw: amnesia

( a/n: might do a part two still debating || masterlist )

“I love you,” you laughed and placed your hand on his face as the two of you swayed your bodies to the sound of the music. You placed your head on his chest and listened to the soft beating of his heart.

It had been so long since you felt this kind of love. A love that you walked into with your eyes wide open, choosing to take every step with your hand in his. Everyday he reminded you of why he loved you; reasons you’ve never been told. Seokmin loved you in ways you’ve never been loved, slowly letting you forget the traumatic life you lived before he arrived.

“Love,” he said releasing you from his grasp. “It’s getting pretty late, I have to head home soon.”

You look at him and press your lips against his, “Alright.” You turned off the record and began to clean up as he gathered his belongings. You and Seokmin always ended up dancing with each other after every dinner date at your home and it was something the both of you always looked forward for the past five years.

Seokmin made his way to the door and you followed. He stood at the doorframe and waited for you. He opened his arms and you hurriedly walked towards him and wrapped your arms around him.

“I love you,” he whispered and placed kisses on your head. “I love you too. Get home safely for me, okay?”

“Okay, my love.” he released you from his grasp and made his way to the elevator. “I’ll call you when I get home.” He yells before the elevator would descend.

A few moments pass and Seokmin has yet to call you. Maybe he’s stuck in traffic. You thought of all the possible things that could happen and you began to worry. Suddenly, your phone rang causing you to slip away from all of your thoughts. You look at the caller ID in hopes that it was Seokmin only to find an unknown number. You tap the green button and press your phone to your ear.

“Hello,” the person says. They state your name and ask if they have called the right number. “Yes, it is. May I know who is calling?”

“It’s the Cheongdam Hospital,” you froze. “You were the first person on Lee Seokmin’s emergency contacts and we’re calling to notify you that he’s been in an accident.”

Your heart dropped and you stood there silent, unable to move or process the words the person on the other line spoke. Tears spill from your eyes as you imagine the state Seokmin may be in.

“Hello? Ma’am,” they said. You then quickly come to your senses and take note of the information given to you.

—

You run through the entryway of the floor he was located in and ask the directions to his room. After running to find his room, you stood there in front. His name printed in black on the door’s sign. You wanted to see him but couldn’t get yourself to open the door. Slowly, you place your hand on the metal door knob and walk inside.

And there he was, peacefully asleep. Your heart’s rapid beating began to subside. He lay on the bed with a bruised up cheek and a busted lip. His head was wrapped in white cloth and his leg in a cast. You slowly made your way to his side and held his hand. Sitting on the chair next to his bed you intertwine your fingers with his as the tears began to fall.

The door opened and the doctor walked towards you. He greeted you with sympathy and told you to take a seat.

“According to the reports, he was involved in a car crash. It was a hit and run. Guesses are that the other driver was drunk and your partner was the victim of his carelessness,” you look over at Seokmin and place a hand on his unharmed leg.

“How is he?” you ask.

“He’s actually one of the lucky ones. In a car crash like that, the victim would’ve lost their lives almost immediately. Luckily, the back of the car took most of the damage. Currently, his right leg is broken but will be healed in a few months. He also has severe head injury. For now we don’t know the effects of this head injury but we will know once he wakes up.”

“He will be okay, don’t worry.” You nod and the doctor gives you a reassuring smile. Seokmin was alive and that’s all that mattered to you.

~

Friends, both yours and Seokmin’s, stood by you and waited outside. Seokmin woke up a few minutes ago and you called the doctors. His eyes were still shut but he began to show signs of waking up. As the doctor rushed inside the room, you were all told to wait outside.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” Jeonghan places his hand on your shoulder.

“I hope so,” you sigh and place your head on your hands. All of this was too much to handle, you just wanted him to be okay. You wanted to know that he would be okay; that after he wakes, the two of you could go back to the lives you lived.

~

You slowly made your way inside the room alongside your friends. Seokmin was now sat up in the hospital bed watching tv. As you all walked inside, Seokmin greeted everyone with his bright smile and a part of you exhaled in relief. As you made your way towards his side, he gave you a confused stare.

“Love,” you held his hand. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” He slowly retracted his hand from yours and tilted his head.

“I’m sorry,” he gave you an apologetic smile before uttering the words that broke your heart. “Have we met?” You stood there, your mouth agape, your friends giving you the same reaction. You could feel your heart stop and your world shatter altogether.

“Excuse me,” the doctor called you and asked to speak with you outside. “I’m afraid Seokmin has amnesia. Due to the severe head injury, we believe that he has no memory of his life from the past 5-6 years.”

“Will he get his memories back?” you asked with tears falling from your eyes once more.

“That, we are unsure of,” he goes on to explain that there is a chance that his amnesia could be permanent but this can be prevented by reminding him of the events that occurred the last 6 years. He goes on to say that you would need to be patient with Seokmin and make sure that you’re not forcing him to remember things but rather make it feel like you’re reminiscing with him. “Amnesia patients can get easily frustrated so take your time, one step at a time.”

The both of you made your way back into his room and the doctor left shortly after. You sat at the couch across his bed next to Seungcheol while Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Jeonghan chatted with Seokmin. He remembered them because they’ve known each other before he met you.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” Seungcheol places his hand on your knee. “but I know he’ll remember you. His life was different before you. He was a better person because of you. Don’t worry, Kid. Have some hope” The three make their way towards you.

“He wants to talk to you” Mingyu says with a pitiful smile.

You stood up with sweaty palms and nervously made your way to his side.

“Hi,” he smiled. “So you must be my fiancé, right?”

“Yes,” you replied and he gestured for you to sit next to him.

“Aren’t I lucky? How did I get a girl like you to say yes to marrying me?” He laughed and you sat down. It was a bittersweet moment, he trusted his friends and believed that you were his partner but all of his memories of the love you shared was erased.

“Actually, I consider myself the lucky one,” you laugh and began to tell him the story of how you two got together. He looked at you with such curiosity and listened very diligently, hoping that somehow his memories of the love you two shared would come back to him. Minutes passed and the boys said their farewells.

Your story telling got cut short when the nurse came in with Seokmin’s meal. She placed his food on the table near him and left you two.

“I’ll let you eat your meal,” you half smiled and stood up. He held your wrist before you could walk further from him. “Stay with me.” You nodded and sat back down.

“If I didn’t have amnesia, what would you do in this situation?” you looked at him with confusion, “How would you normally treat me if I were injured?”

“Hmm,” you look at him and his untouched food. “Usually, I would take good care of you; make sure you’re comfortable and feel safe.” You go on to tell him how you nursed him when he slipped in the living room of your condo because the two of you were chasing each other. He sprained his ankle and he told you how sore his body was. You treated him like a baby that day and even spoon-fed him. He always whined about how much you took care of him and how he wasn’t a baby but you also knew deep down he loved every minute of it.

“Can you do that for me? Maybe it will help me remember?” He asked mischievously and you agreed and began to feed him.

Seokmin wished his heart would beat a little faster every time you got closer to him. He wished he remembered how much he loved you because it was evident how much you loved him and how seeing him like this broke your heart. He felt sorry for not being able to reciprocate his feelings but he was more than willing to try and remember.

~

“Seokmin where are you going?” Months have passed and little to no progress has been made. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many pictures you showed, he just couldn’t recall. Even living with you didn’t help him. It was mutual decision that he stay with you just to help him remember even the slightest details about your life. At first it was fine, looking back at everything with him but, as time passed, his patience grew thin. He became frustrated and acted like a different person.

“I can’t stay in this house all day,” he groaned. “I need to get out once in a while.”

“Okay let me just get my things,” you stood up.

“It’s fine,” he let out a frustrated sigh. “I can go out by myself.”

You sat back down and told him to be careful before leaving. It was hard. It was painful. Staying with him despite him not remembering you. He believed every truth you told about your relationship. There were even pictures to prove it. He just couldn’t remember, no matter how hard he tried. No matter how many times he’d watch the videos and stare at the pictures. It was proof that the two of you were madly in love, but the memories nor the feelings came back. You knew deep down that he was staying with you because he felt sorry. He was present yet he was gone. He was a different person, he was always angry, he smiled less and became reserved. And judging by his actions, the love he had for you had yet to return.

Seungcheol, being the brotherly figure that he was, always visited and listened to your problems. He comforted you and became someone who you depended on. You always told him how much you still loved Seokmin and the ring you wore was proof of that; your endless patience and understanding and your undying hope that he would remember.

“Y/n,” Seungcheol was at your condo again and the two of you were having coffee together. “Its been 3 months. I know you love him, but maybe letting him go and living his own life is what he needs right now. We can’t force him to remember, you know that. I think letting him move back to his own space will give him the time he needs to hopefully remember.”

“I’m scared, Cheol.” You placed your head on your hands. “What if I let him go and he doesn’t come back? Then I’ll lose him completely.”

Seungcheol stands up from the table and makes his way to you. Engulfing you in his arms as you cry once more. The door suddenly opens and Seokmin appears. He observes the scene unfolding in front of him and is conflicted. He feels anger and betrayal despite the two sharing an innocent hug.

You release yourself from Seungcheol’s embrace and see Seokmin standing, staring at you two.

“Seokmin,” you wipe away the tears. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Hey Seok,” Seungcheol walks towards Seokmin, the anger and confusion still plastered on his face. “I was just about to head home. Goodnight you two.”

Seungcheol pats Seokmins shoulder; he replies with a glare. The sound of the door shuts and you two were left alone. You walk towards him and he steps backwards.

“What was he doing here?” He asks. “Are yo-“

“N-no,” you reply before he could continue his sentence. “We were just having coffee and talking.”

“You were obviously doing more than talking,” he raised an eyebrow, an uneasy feeling creeping up in his body.

“No, Seokmin. I would never,” you go towards him. “I know it’s hard for us right now but you have to believe me. I lo-.”

“Don’t,” he interrupted and sat on the couch.

“How could you still love me when everyday I make it so hard for you.”

“Seok-“

“I want to love you, I want to remember, but I can’t. I believe you, I truly do Y/n. But I don’t remember anything. Everyday for the past three months have been so frustrating for me. I’m constantly reminded of a life that I don’t even recall living. And seeing you,” he gave a dismissive wave toward you and glided his hand on his jaw. “breaks my heart. Because I know and feel how much you love me. You’ve been so kind and understanding and I see how hard you try to hide your anger and frustration from me. I see how this hurts you more than it hurts me.”

He pauses, his jaw clenched with one hand placed on his waist. “I just don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m only hurting you.”

You wanted to beg him to stay and convince him that you could get through this together but, he was right. The past three months have been rough. It was ruining you both but your love for him never lessened. And because of that love, you decide to let go. You let go knowing that there was a possibility that he would never return to you; that one day he would fall in love with another and live a life that you had once imagined with him.

~

pt. 2

[tsthrace]

What does a girl do when she realizes she needs to cut an entire chapter from her WIP because it doesn’t fit? She posts it to tumblr. 

So yeah, this starts to build a scary world that might look a little too close to our world. It might introduce you to this badass trauma surgeon, Dr. Griffin, who needs to make a quick escape. And then it might leave you hanging. Forever. 

Well, not exactly forever. This is now Clarke’s backstory for my WIP. She’ll resurface years later on a church-turned-farmstead. Guess who’s the priest of this church? So yeah...

Content warning: mention of rape (but no rape itself) and just general hits-too-close-to-home: you know—fascism, totalitarianism, misogyny, toxic masculinity. Oh, and Clarke swears a lot.

It’s angsty. That’s what I do.

3,260 words. No tagging for Clexa, because Lexa doesn’t come on the scene yet.

It’s also posted over on ao3 if you’d rather read it there.

---

We all thought it couldn’t happen here, even as it was happening here.

Clarke had been running for so long that she wasn’t sure if she was still being chased. She had spent the last six years wandering through parts of Washington she never knew existed. First to an abandoned sawmill a few miles east of Mansford in the mountains. It was a glorified barn, really, but a community of refugees from Seattle had been gathering there, doing their best to patch up the building’s roof and walls. Then, there was still enough gas to transport what they needed if they rationed properly. But they were all adjusting to life without electricity, without phones, without any sense of who they were without those things. 

She was there only three months when word came that a militia had materialized in Darrington and was registering children and looking for doctors and healers. Healers. That’s what they called women with Clarke’s skills. People who had gone to school for 13 years, who had prioritized their craft over their health, their family, their relationships for a grueling residency followed by an only slightly less grueling fellowship. They called men doctors, even if they were less educated, less skilled, and less practiced.

Fuck them. Clarke’s response had become reflexive. It was her internal response when the police came that first night of what some called the Resistance but what the police called the Riots. 

Unrest had been brewing for months, but It was when the President “temporarily” suspended the First Amendment right to assemble that all hell broke loose. Thousands of protestors became tens of thousands, even in small cities like Spokane and Tacoma. Police traded rubber bullets for real ones, patrol cars for tanks, pistols for AK-47s. Dozens of people landed in Clarke’s hospital, some gone before they were taken out of the ambulance, ripped apart by the people sworn to serve and protect them. 

That was the night two officers were trawling the halls of her ward, looking for “resistors” to arrest. 

“They’re unconscious,” Clark said slowly. “They’re sedated because they’re waiting to go into surgery.” She knew it was a bad idea to talk to them like they were kindergartners, but she couldn’t stop herself. What these men were doing was sick. Her patients were here because of them. Some of them filled with bullet holes, their lives barely clinging to them, others with collapsed lungs caused by broken ribs, others with simple fractures who would be out to fight another day. But Clarke wasn’t going to tell these guys that.

“Is there someone else we can talk to?” The officer said. His name badge said Blakely. “Maybe your boss?”

Clarke felt her fingernails digging into her palm. “Officer Blakely—”

“Corporal Blakely.”

Clarke went on as if she didn’t hear him. “I’m the person with the highest seniority here right now. If you’d like me to call the Chief of Surgery...”

Blakely pulled out a pad and pen. “What’s his name?”

“Her name is Dr. Marris.”

Blakely scoffed but wrote down the name.

“Is there a problem?” Clarke bent a little to catch his eye with her glare.

“Not at all.”

After that night, everything changed. The President sent in federal troops. There were tanks outside police precincts, and men in uniform carrying AK-47s stood at every corner in downtown and Capitol Hill. They rode the light rail, searching for enemies and booting out anyone who fell asleep on the trains. Curfews were instituted. Clarke had to have her ID and a letter from the hospital ready after every shift. The same soldiers (or were they cops?) stopped her every night, even after the sixth time when everyone knew everyone’s names. She had written theirs down. Because fuck them.

Two months later, the Seattle PD renamed themselves Washington’s 1st Militia when the President had encouraged all “patriots and protectors of freedom to band together, arm, and fight for American values.” Police departments across the country took this as a rallying call. They traded their police uniforms for military fatigues. They tore off their city badges and replaced them with a thin blue line. Bros before everything else, even democracy. 

They pulled her out of the OR as soon as she wrapped up a craniotomy. It was her third surgery of the day, and her hands were stiff, her scrubs covered in sweat. The two soldiers’ assault rifles startled her, but she’d seen enough gore in her time to know how to keep a straight face. Blakely was back, but this time he was dressed like he was serving in a desert war zone.

“Officer Blakely.” She remembered he was a corporal but fuck him.

The corner of Blakely’s mouth lifted in a sharp smirk. She watched as his eyes glided down her body. “Congratulations, Ms. Griffin, you’ve been recruited to Washington’s First. We are in need of fine healers like yourself.” 

Fuck you. The words raced through her mind, but she kept her mouth shut. She understood by now that those words aloud could do nothing but put her in danger. “How can I be of service?” she asked evenly, looking him straight in the eye. She had heard rumors that the militias were taking medical workers from their hospitals and clinics to set up their own facilities, but she thought they’d only take men for their specialists and surgeons.

“You need to come with us,” Blakely looked down at the sweat stains under her arms.

Clarke didn’t move. “What kind of healers are you looking for?” she asked in her most neutral tone. 

“A variety, ma’am.” Blakely’s jaw stiffened.

A small crowd of the floor’s staff had gathered at the nurses’ station, halfheartedly pretending to work while they watched the interaction.

“Like nurses? There are a lot of nurses here who are much better at their jobs than I would be.” Clarke laughed lightly and glanced at the nurses. “I’d make a terrible nurse.”

A few of the nurses nodded, their eyes smiling because smiling with their lips might bring trouble.

“We already have healers for that kind of work.” Blakely took in a breath and looked around the floor, frustrated. He knew he’d said too much. “Maybe we should go somewhere—”

“Then I can’t possibly think why you’d need me. I’m sure there are doctors who can meet your needs.”

“Ms. Griffin—”

“After all, there are two other trauma surgeons on staff here more suited to your, uh, preferences.” Clarke glanced down at Blakely’s groin.

“I was sent to find you, Ms. Griffin.”

The more he called her “Ms.,” the more her resolve solidified. “I just can’t imagine what anyone would want with little old me.” She covered her voice in maple syrup. “Dr. Lee and Dr. Bancroft are very fine surgeons, very respectable. Dr. Lee graduated top of his class from UW. I’m supervising his fellowship, and he’s very skilled.” Clarke let the words roll like waves along a beach on a calm day. “And Dr. Bancroft is who we call whenever we need a feeding tube done right the first time. His focus on fundamentals is exceptional—”

“They want you,” Blakely said more loudly than he intended.

Say it, she taunted him with a sharp look, though the words that came out were light. “I’ll call Dr. Lee. I’m sure he’d be more suitable to you—”

“Ms. Griffin—”

“You’d rather have Dr. Bancroft? Sorry. I thought you’d want the more skilled surgeon, but to be honest, we do perform a lot more feeding tube placements than major—”

“We know you’re the best.” Blakely growled, giving in. 

Clarke had won, but she still felt empty. “You can’t even call me a doctor.” 

“Protocol.” Blakely refused to look at her. “Come with us, ma’am.”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You can appeal on grounds of pregnancy or motherhood.”

Clarke scoffed. “Of course.” She didn’t even try to hide her disdain, though she knew she had to play along. She looked down at her scrubs. “I need to change.”

“Of course,” Blakely said. His smile was sharp, an insult. “Though we’ll need to supervise.”

Clarke bit down hard. She had not joined the Resistance, but she’d been obsessively keeping track of their Instagram posts at @emeraldcityjustice. Militiamen never raped, she’d learned, especially if the woman was white and of marrying age. They didn’t call it rape, though, they called it “sexual theft.” They were not to spoil another man’s property (or potential property), and that meant no touching. This restriction forced men to get creative, find new ways of dominating without ruining the goods. Resisting, the posts said, meant speaking the militia’s language. 

“But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Clarke had memorized some key verses, and she said this one loud enough for everyone around the nursing station to hear it. “Matthew 5:28. I think those are words in red. You know, Jesus. The son of God himself.” She would not let these fuckers anywhere near her. 

Blakely squinted and his face turned to stone.

“The locker room is on the second floor,” she said. “You two are welcome to wait outside the door, if you like.” Clarke strode towards the elevator. Blakely glared at her a few moments before nodding at his partner. They followed her into the elevator. Clarke looked at her watch. 10:15 p.m. Shift change. The locker room would be packed. 

“We need to sweep,” Blakely said as they stepped off the elevator and approached the locker room door.

Clarke sighed loudly. There was no use in arguing. Blakely nodded towards the key swipe. Clarke swiped her badge and a little red light on the handle turned green. Blakely opened the door then turned conspicuously so that his back was facing the opening.

“This is Corporal Blakely of Washington’s First Militia,” he shouted into the room. The volume of his voice made Clarke jump. “Private Cooks and I will be doing a sweep of this locker room in two minutes. Those who are not appropriately covered at that time will be taken into custody.” Blakely let the door close behind him and set a timer on his Apple watch.

Are you fucking kidding me? Clarke didn’t say out loud.

Five minutes later, Blakely and Cooks were back out in the hallway. Clarke knew they wouldn’t find anything. The locker room was a windowless space that was mostly concrete and tile. It had one exit, a fire hazard long ignored because that part of the hospital had been built 140 years ago. The only other door was a closet full of cleaning supplies.

Blakely nodded at Clarke to go inside. 

“You have five minutes,” he said, fiddling with his watch again.

“I’d like to shower.”

“Four minutes and fifty-seven seconds. If you don’t come out on time, we will come in.”

Clarke swallowed and pushed through the door. Dozens of annoyed eyes lifted as she walked in. She just shook her head as she walked past them. 

Because it was an old hospital, doctors—female doctors, even surgeons—shared the locker room with nurse supervisors, charge nurses and other medical staff who had seniority. (Male doctors, especially surgeons, did not share a locker room with anyone, of course.) It bothered Clarke on principle, but for the most part she liked being around the non-doctor staff, and it didn’t hurt to have a friendly relationship with the nurses when she was on the floors. 

The women’s eyes quickly went back to their tasks of leaving. Between the unrest and a new virus no one seemed to know anything about, the hospital, which was already under-resourced, had been over capacity for weeks now. Everyone was tired, stressed, and getting more and more afraid. They just wanted to get home as soon as possible. The later at night, the more aggressive the patrols got. 

Clarke walked to her locker and took a few deep breaths as she quickly spun the lock to its numbers and pulled it open. She took off her white coat and hung it on the hanger inside. She pulled out her backpack and checked that her phone charger was inside. She pulled her wallet out and stared at her driver’s license for a long moment, not sure if it would be a liability. She decided to bring it, along with her curfew papers, and a used copy of The Obelisk Gate she’d picked up from Horizon Books a few weeks ago but never opened. Next, she stuffed her street clothes inside along with two sets of clean scrubs (only later would she wonder why she took the scrubs). Finally, she grabbed the two boxes of protein bars and four bottles of Gatorade that she kept there to keep her energy up on long shifts.

Clarke almost laughed at how much could fit in her small backpack. 

She looked at her watch. Three minutes left. Shit. She almost forgot to switch watches. She pulled off the little cheap thing she used at the hospital and replaced it with her dad’s chunky but sleek metal piece. It was heavy on her wrist, but that’s what she liked about it. Somehow she felt safer with it on.

She swallowed. She needed to move, but to move meant everything would be different. She threw her shoulders back, lifted her hands in front of her, palms up as if making an offering, and took in a deep breath. It’s what she did whenever she was about to make a first cut. She closed her eyes, felt the ground solid under her feet, felt her heart slow to steady saunter. 

Clarke smiled to herself. It was a heavy smile, sad and defiant. Fuck them.

She grabbed her backpack, slung it over her shoulder, and walked to the broom closet.

“You alright, Dr. Griffin?” A voice rang out. Veró, the charge nurse from the post-op wing, looked up as Clarke was about to go inside. Her eyes were nervous.

“I will be,” Clarke replied as she closed the door. “Take good care of yourself, Veró. Be safe. You didn’t see me, okay?”

Veró nodded. “You stay safe, Clarke.” She closed her eyes for a long moment. Her smile was heavy with concern. “I didn’t see nothing.” 

Clarke held Veró’s eyes for a long moment, then nodded, stepped into the closet, and closed the door behind her. It was a small space, but large enough for two people to fit—a fact Clarke had exploited with Lu, a nurse from the Telemetry unit, several times. There was a small, dirty, pointless window at the top of the closet that she and Lu had covered with a tray from the cafeteria so that the janitors in their breakroom across the alley couldn’t watch them taking their break. During the day, thin streaks of light leaked in around the edges. Clarke was grateful it was so late and that the alley outside got so little light. The metal shelving served as the perfect ladder, sturdy and wide. She disrupted the toilet paper and big bottles of cleaner as she climbed, leaving hints of her escape, but there was nothing to be done about it. The top shelf was blessedly empty, too high up to be useful.

She pulled the tray out of the way to reveal a window that was smaller than she expected. She turned a small latch and pushed the window. It didn’t budge. She pushed it again, harder this time, though she didn’t have much leverage. Nothing happened. The shelf wobbled minutely under her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

It held steady as she gingerly pulled her full body onto the top shelf. She barely fit up there. She checked her watch. She maybe had a minute. Probably less. Clarke hit the base of the window with the flat of her palm. Nothing. She hit it again. Still nothing. She took a breath and closed her eyes. 

Please.

She hit it again and heard a tiny scrape. One more push, and the window swung open with an achy shriek. It might have been shut for decades. Clarke was lucky. The drop from the second floor window to the sidewalk was short. The alley swept upwards from 9th Ave., ending at the top with the fifth floor’s windows being at street level. 

She was out, and she had no idea what to do. By now, Blakely and Cooks would have noticed that she hadn’t come out. Maybe they’d give her another minute. She remembered the Apple watch. 

Her mind churned and tumbled. She had opened holes in skulls with drills and saws. She had cracked ribs to expose hearts that stopped beating in front of her eyes. But now, on this warm summer night on an empty sidewalk, she didn’t know what to do. So she ran. The hospital was a mess of old buildings connected by narrow alleys—easy to get lost. But Clarke had done her residency and fellowship here—spent nearly a quarter of her life here—and while she didn’t know the alleys, she knew the buildings, recognized the skyways above linking everything together. She slid from shadow to shadow in the direction of the interstate. It was an intuitive decision, the way she knew exactly where to find the bleeding in surgery. 

She kept moving, the rolling rumble of the highway getting closer. Finally, she found herself at the parking garage and knew exactly where to go. She walked calmly through the first level reserved for people going to the ED. She was careful to avoid the security booth where Mitch would be. He was a good guy, and Clarke didn’t want to bring him any trouble. She moved quickly towards an emergency exit which brought her to a fire escape facing the interstate. During her first year as resident, she and Dr. Salem used to meet there to smoke a joint after a 30-hour shift. 

She paused. Think. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. Her breath caught when she came across her mom’s contact. You could have called, she could already hear her saying. We would have figured it out. Even if there was enough time for her mom to get from Whidbey Island to the city—and there wasn’t—it wouldn’t be safe. Anyone she called could be implicated and punished. Unless she chose to crawl back into the hospital, she was now an RRL, a Resistor of the Rule of Law.

This is moment everything changes. The thought cracked across her mind like lightning and disappeared just as fast. The thunder would roll on for years and years.

She closed her contacts and opened Instagram instead. She went to the @emeraldcityjustice profile. Her grin was grim as she hit the Message button. How ridiculous this world had become.

“Canada or the mountains?”

“What?” Clarke shook herself out of a haze. The driver hadn’t spoken since he picked her up from a dark corner under the interstate where @emeraldcityjustice had told her to go. They immediately turned east over the lake to Bellevue.

“You’ll have to decide at the drop point in Everett,” the driver went on. “They can either get you on a ferry to Canada or you can head to a refugee community in the mountains.” He glanced over his shoulder to the back seat where she was lying down to avoid facial recognition cameras on the interstate. “Do you want to escape or do you want to fight?”

THE END. THAT’S IT. I’M SORRY.

[pleasuringmyprincess]

Love Letter

I wrote the following In July, but decided not to share it at that time. it's now October.  Circumstances change.

________________________________________________________________

I know this isn’t going to be easy for me, so please bear with me.

I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

I’ve know Ren for six months or so, in a long distance relationship through circumstance rather than design. Circumstance being that I live in California, while she lives in England. This is not a full time LDR, work and family (I’m also from England) bring me to the UK regularly. So in the time we’ve known each other, I’ve travelled to England every 10-12 weeks, staying for 4-5 weeks each time, and I have two more trips scheduled for between now and the end of the year.

When I met Ren it was supposed to be just for play, but we found we had so much in common, so many shared interests outside in the real world, so much chemistry that a serious relationship quickly developed. 

Ren isn’t just a delightful sub, she’s a wonderful mother to two lovely children, she’s fantastic company, intelligent, fun loving, really smart, caring, upbeat all the time, but... there’s always a but, and for Ren it’s a big one.

Let’s start by saying if there was ever someone who didn’t deserve the deck she was dealt it’s Ren. Over the last 6 years her self-esteem has been shattered by her prior partners, (I’ll say no more than that they have one way or another treated her badly) and as a consequence she has suffered from severe depression, has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, has self-harmed, and most recently has been diagnosed and is now being successfully treated for severe Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

Pause a moment there - this is the same woman, the woman who has been shit on by the world is also the wonderful mother, the delightful, intelligent, fun loving, smart, caring woman. My unicorn.

Ren’s seen a few big changes recently, most significantly she finally was able to divorce her husband and move to a new home. Two big steps forward, but at a cost of greatly increased anxiety. Just after this she heard that she was losing her job - she’s highly skilled but works in a poorly paid profession and because of the need to care for her kids, can only work part time. And she’s just lost her dom. We’ll come back to that in a minute.

In a scene, Ren is delightful, absolutely exquisite. I couldn’t ask for more, it breaks my heart to think of letting her go. Outside of a scene though, she can be very hard work. It’s more a question of providing support and encouragement over discipline. I have lost count of the number of hours I’ve spent helping her through the pain she feels. When she’s particularly low, it can be 3-4 hours a day. That’s not a complaint, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat even now while I’m writing this. It’s just a sign of the level of commitment you need to make. And just so it’s clear, Ren knows she has these problems and spends a lot of time in self-care activities and while it helps, it’s not enough.

Ren’s a working single mum, on a budget, she’s already very disciplined, very ordered, but she still struggles with some things and I have not been as successful as I would have liked in helping her address these issues (although today she has just proved to me that she can do this unbidden when motivated). I’ve not got to the bottom of why this is, and frankly it’s not been a high priority for me. I’ve been focused on helping her improve her self-esteem, manage her anxiety and encourage her to seek treatment for her PMDD (yay me!). This has really been my primary goal. And while it’s too soon to be sure, it really looks like we have succeeded, her anxiety and PMDD are both under control now. She is far far stronger today than she was three months ago.

Unfortunately, helping her get treatment for PMDD may have been my downfall.

After six years in the wilderness Ren is becoming whole again, free from her past, independent, far stronger than she has been for many years. Strong enough to tell me that she wants to move on. Ren needs someone full time, I know this, we’ve discussed it at length, and I had already put plans in motion to return to live in England to be with her. Now Ren has told me that while I am returning to England, it's not soon enough for her - she doesn’t want to wait. She also has concerns about my marriage. I am divorcing, she knows this, but right now I am married, and my divorce is something that Ren does not want to feel responsible for - she’s not responsible, that ship sailed long ago, but she says she will still feel responsible, and that’s enough. And my age, I’m 14 years older than her, too old in her eyes for a long term commitment.

Now obviously I’m not too happy about this, we are/were amazingly good together and had I not worked so hard to help her through her problems I might not be in this position today. I do feel significantly responsible for Ren’s recent improvement. For giving her the support she needed; for helping her apply for jobs; for showing her that there was a man who would fight for her, accept her for who she is, respect her for it; for being the consistent and reliable dom she needed; and most significantly for getting her back to the doc and having her PMDD addressed. 

This is where I get a little twisted - one of the side effects of the medication Ren is taking for PMDD is possible impaired judgement. And there's part of me that thinks, dumping your dom like this wasn't the wisest thing to do right now. So the treatment for PMDD that I helped her get, might possibly be responsible for Ren taking what I think is an ill-judged decision in deciding that she’d rather seek out her perfect Dom than accept this one with all his flaws. I’m not blind to the fact that there’s part of me that thinks ���Hey, I did the hard work in putting her back together and it would be nice to enjoy some of the benefits’, OK, I fully realize that’s selfish of me, but it’s understandable, I’m a dom, not a saint. To be clear though, it's not the decision I have a problem with, it's the hurried way she approached it.  But we serve at our sub’s pleasure, and so here we are.

As it is, and I’ve never shared this with anyone, not even Ren, until now. I made a promise to myself that I’d help her come what may. And if that means 'setting her free' and helping her find a dom who’s worthy of her, that’s what I’ll do.

And so I’m looking for a new dom for my sub.

If you think that you might possibly be able to be the dom Ren needs, I’d like to hear from you. Before you all shout, as you might have gathered, I hold Ren in very high regard, and I will not let her settle for anyone who isn’t good enough. And just to be clear, I’m not going away. Ren and I have every intention of remaining friends.

So can this be you?

Let’s see shall we.

You’ve got to accept that Ren is a rich multi-faceted human being. If you are looking for a fuck toy, stop here.

She’s looking for more than just a play partner. Listen to Lou Reid singing Perfect Day, if you can’t offer that, you can stop reading here. Married guys (like me), guys in poly, or any form of relationship with someone else, you can stop here, she wants exclusivity. Btw, if you’re separated, divorcing, or whatever, you’re still married, so you stop here too. You don’t drink sangria in the park with Ren, and then later when it gets dark go home to your wife (read the lyrics, it will make sense).

Age 40-50, no exceptions. You will be fit and healthy, height/weight proportional.

No diseases, you will provide current STI test results, and you will always use a condom.

It will help if you a pro-Remain, if not, you need to be able to offer a coherent argument against. Intelligence matters. 

As a submissive, Ren has specific needs, and specific limits. She needs pain, she needs to be spanked, mild to moderate use of a riding crop and paddle is OK, but not severe caning. She needs bondage both for the restraint and the art. Obviously there are other things as well, but she can share that if you meet, and I’m sure there are things that we’ve not tried that she will enjoy. She has limits and you will respect them. You will not humiliate her in any way, not even name calling. Not in play, not as punishment. There are other things you will not do, obviously, and again she can share them if you meet.

You must be an experienced Dom, having a fetlife account or a tumblr blog doesn’t count. You will meet me first. You will provide government photo ID, and references, and I will follow up on references in person.

Ren needs a Dom who is close by, someone who can see her 2-3 times a week without fail and who will remain in close contact when apart. Long distance relationships don’t work for her (ask me how I know), she needs to know you are close by, which means you must be within daily driving distance. No, she will not relocate. She has joint custody of her kids with her ex and that’s not going to change.

You’ve got to accept that she is not at your beck and call. She’s a mother, her kids come first and always will. You don’t even rate second place; like I said, she has a very demanding self-care program that takes a lot of her time, that comes next. She also has a cat. You might aspire to a position above the cat in her hierarchy, but I wouldn’t count on it.

________________________________________________________________

Don't take this as anything other than a mile marker down a road already travelled.

Applications are not currently being accepted. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

ever been torn between 2 people? There was a brief moment where I had feelings for both Ty and Joseph. do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? I feel like I’m not even on anyone’s radar, that’s how insignificant I am. is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don’t talk to any more? There’s a few people. would you rather have long or short hair? Long. Even though it requires more time and energy than I have to give, hence why it’s always just in a pony tail or bun and gets knotty. :/ Anyone with depression might understand. Ugh. I’m such a mess. I should just cut it and have something that easier to manage, but damnit it took me so long to get this length.  has anyone told you they never want to lose you? Something along those lines. Guess they got over it.

who was the last male you talked to? My brother. what’s a fact about the last person who had their arms around you? She loves to watch the ID channel.  anything coming up that you’re excited for? No. wallpaper on your cellphone? My lock screen is a Bible verse graphic and my home screen is rose gold marble background. ever liked someone who was married? There was this guy who was my bio partner in community college that I thought was cute and he actually seemed flirty with me at times. He asked for my number, too, at one point and texted once in awhile. Well, it came up at one point that he was married. :O So, that was the end of that. I mean, we were still bio partners cause whatever, but I wasn’t being flirty or thinking something might happen anymore. Oh and then a few years later he texted me totally out of the blue and was like, “Hey, it’s Matthew do you remember me?” Not much else came from that, but yeah super random. who pissed you off yesterday? No one did. do you honestly have feelings for someone? Not romantic feelings. do you wear shoes in your house or take them off? Nah, I don’t wear shoes at home.  you love math, right? Uh, NO. when you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? I just keep ‘em on. are you friends with your most recent ex? No.  when was the last time you had a real smile on your face? Yesterday. did you cry today? Not so far. I did last night. do you want to see someone this very minute? No. do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace? No. My parents, brother, and I just let each other know if we’re leaving and where we’re going, though.  will tomorrow be better than today? Likely just another day. do you find smoking attractive? No. meet anyone new this year? No. today, did you see “that” someone that makes you smile? I haven’t seen my doggo yet today, it’s 5AM and she sleeps in the living room on her couch. 

who do you sit near in 4th period? I’m not in school anymore, thankfully. <<< !!! can you honestly say you’re okay right now? At this current moment I’m alright. do you tend to waste a lot of money? I’ve gotten better. I haven’t done much shopping this year and I don’t spend money on food like I used to.  are you asian? I have some Filipino. I’d really like to do one of those ancestry.com kits and see exactly what I am. what were you doing at 3 am this morning? Surveys. whose hoodie did you wear last? Mine. will you be up before 7am tomorrow? It’s 5:14AM and here we are. do you get shy around the guy/girl you like? I definitely do when I’m around someone I like. I’m already shy as it is. are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment? No. if your friends warn you about someone you like, do you listen? Well, I didn’t want to hear it when they told me about Joseph. :/ I’m very stubborn. has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Yes. are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? I’m not satisfied when it comes to my health and where I am/what I’m doing with my life. is there someone you don’t ever want to be out of your life? My family. you go home with a hickey, what does your mother say? She’d definitely tease me about it lol. are you currently talking to/​​​​​​​​​​​texting/​​​​​​​​​​​instant messaging anyone? Nope. as of this minute, what is going through your mind? My answers to these questions. And I’m feeling nostalgic cause MTV is doing Flashback Friday and playing music videos my childhood/middle school days. what did you do today? So far I’ve just ate ramen, scrolled through Tumblr, listened to ASMR, watched music videos, and I’ve been doing surveys. have you ever liked someone older than you? Not including celebrities, the oldest person I’ve liked is only a year older than me. who’s the biggest asshole you know? Uhhh. what was your first thought this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet. where’s the last place you went besides your house? My doctor appointment last month. That was the first time I left the house in 3 months and I haven’t left since. have you held hands with anyone lately? My doggo. (: do you miss the way things used to be? Some things.  who was the last person to call you? My mom. where is your phone? Next to me on my bed. are you a forgiving person? Yes. can you watch scary movies? Yeah, I love ‘em. last person to im you? I haven’t used any instant messenger in a long time. what did you do yesterday? Same stuff as always. has anyone ever said something that brought tears to your eyes? Yeah, many times. has anyone let you down recently? Not recently. have you ever received a myspace message that made you cry? I don’t think so, but that was over 10 years ago, so.

[whereismywarden]

OC Interview meme

I was tagged by @myronmuse & @allmywardensaresafeandsound. Thank you guys!

Now tagging @no-id-no-person, @haloneshiral & @bethanypw if you guys feel like it :)

Doing this for Surana, circa 9:44. She’s been hearing the Calling for some time now.

1. What is your name?

I’m Surana, but you may call me Ana if you wish.

2. What is your real name?

That’s the only name I’ve ever had, but if you know of any other “real name” I’d like to hear it.

3. Do you know why you were called that?

Listen, I was born in a Circle, and not just any Circle. No no no, I was born in Kirkwall. So odds are my parents didn’t name me and some Chantry prick had that privilege. I don’t know where “Surana” comes from, nor do I really care. But I sure hope that bitch Meredith wasn’t the one to give me that name...

4. Are you single or taken?

Taken every which way. Or at least I used to be. Now I’m just happy if I can rest my head on his lap for a little while.

5. Have any abilities or powers?

Well, I am one of the most powerful mages in Thedas, an accomplished Arcane Warrior and Battlemage. Oh, and let’s not forget the Grey Warden thing.

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

You’re right. I was a very powerful mage. But that was before that Grey Warden thing I just mentioned caught up to me. Thank you so much for reminding me.

7. What’s your eye color?

Light grey. Pretty dull if you asked me. Not even a real color. But I’ve sometimes heard so-called poets compare them to the moon or to freshly polished steel. My husband once said they looked like the sky before a storm. Pretty ironic considering his are the color of an actual sea storm.

8. How about your hair color?

Black. Nothing fancy here.

9. Have you any family members?

Well, being a Circle baby, I’ve never known my parents. And I have no idea if I have any other family left in this world. Probably not. All I have is a daughter, Neriah, who was born during my time in the Circle. Talk about History repeating itself!

I also adopted two big brothers while I was trapped in that damn tower, but... I’d rather not talk about them...

And of course, there’s my sweet husband, Carver.

10. Oh? What about pets?

I have my dear Rabbit by my side almost constantly these days. But in true Fereldans that we are, he’s not the only mabari in our household. There’s Carver’s dog, named Jevlan, after one of my favorite Hard in Hightown characters (I’m sure Varric is laughing about that somewhere). We have also adopted his brother’s dog, named Carver (yes, Hawke was funny that way). And we occasionally house our daughter’s when she visits us. She named her Bunny because she is Rabbit’s daughter.

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

That blasted song that’s been pounding at the back of my head like a hammer on a nail for the past few years!

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

I rather enjoy reading. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands for that lately. It keeps me from thinking about that song. Or at least it did, in the beginning.

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

Yes. I’m afraid that’s part of the job.

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

Again, part of the job.

15. What kind of animal are you?

I’ve been called ‘rabbit’ while growing up. I’ve named my dog Rabbit so that I can sick him on anyone who ever calls me that again.

16. Name your worst habits.

Running headfirst into danger. That’s one of the reasons Carver stopped going on Grey Warden missions with me. Said he didn’t want to have a heart attack every time we ran into an ogre.

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Not anymore, no.

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

I can feel attraction for anyone, but it hardly matters now.

19. Do you go to school?

I don’t know if the Circle could be called a school. At any rate, leaving that place was the best day of my life.

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

That question is pointless. I am married! I have a kid! Are you asking if I want to leave my husband for someone else? Never! As for having more children... That’s not on the table anymore...

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

Unfortunately. 

I’ve started to introduce myself to people as just Ana to escape all that unwanted attention.

22. What are you most afraid of?

Losing more people. Losing everyone I’ve got left. Funny how I’ll actually be the next one to go. Or maybe not so funny after all.

23. What do you usually wear?

These days? Mostly loose fitting clothes. Some of them didn’t use to be so loose, though... I often wear a thick cloak to hide how thin I’ve gotten, and the red shawl Carver got me for my birthday years ago to hide my ugly face.

24. Do you love someone?

With all my heart and soul.

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

You don’t want to know the answer to that question, believe me.

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

Oh, joy... 

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

I might have been Arlessa of Amaranthine for a while, but I’m still a mage, an elf, and a Grey Warden. I’ll let you do the math.

28. How many friends do you have?

I don’t know... A lot of them are... gone... My family is all that matters these days.

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

Carver bakes the most delicious pies. It’s a family recipe I’m told.

30. Favourite drink?

If you’d asked me a few years ago, I would have answered strong dwarven ale. But I stopped drinking, so I’m not allowed to say that.

Tea is good though. I love tea.

31. What’s your favourite place?

Our little home. It isn’t much, but I’ve never had my own house before. I’m at peace here.

32. Are you interested in someone?

Yes... My husband.

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

Bold of you to assume I wear bras.

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

I’m not much of a swimmer. Oceans scare the shit out of me and lakes bring back too many bad memories.

35. What’s your type?

I didn’t think I had a type until Leliana pointed out I seemed to have a preference for strong warriors.

36. Any fetishes?

That’s between me and my husband. And whoever else cared to join us.

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

I was comfortable with anything, although I did love feeling the weight of my partner above me a great deal.

38. Camping or indoors?

After being cooped up in a dark tower for years, I really enjoyed the outdoors a lot. These days, however, I welcome the comfort of my bed more than ever.

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

Yes. Frankly, I’m getting rather tired of it.

40. Now it’s over!

Finally. I need to get some rest now if you’ll excuse me.

[rockformed]

All the emojis. All. of. them.

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

umm not to be That Depressing Bitch but back in 2016 i was in a really bad place and considered running away from home and maybe something else bad but course i didnt in the end and im glad i never did

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

my friends who live in different states or countries :’(

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

CELEBI is my all time favorite cause the first piece of pokemon media i ever saw was the movie with them in it!!

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

NO MORE CAPITALISM

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

it’s a long one but the TLDR of it is that i was an orphan being raised by a strange man living on the outskirts of a post-apocalyptic town and the dream felt like it lasted for days

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

god he has such a fucking good sense of humor and he makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has

😘 talk about your crush or partner

they’re really funny and i just love being around them all the time, no matter what we’re doing. it just feels natural 

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

only if it was like, being purposely really rude, otherwise no

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

uhhh physically or otherwise?? physically i really like my hands, my legs and my hair :>

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

we talkin phobia’s or innermost fears?? im really scared of the dark but also im really scared that no one will ever love me the way i love them lmao annnd overcoming it?? im really not sure

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

my best friend, my cat and drawing

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i hate hate hate it when people brag, even the tiniest amount. i dont really know why

😤 do you get angry easily?

ehhhh depends what im getting angry at. with politics i get really into it but otherwise, nah

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

.....................uhh....... not to be corny but being in love

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

i would change the way we treat the earth, the way we treat each other, and also i’d want it to be so that everyone has a chance at doing what they really want to do with their lives (not to sound like a miss america contestant or anything)

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

you didnt send me 4 names anon :p

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

ugh, tied between tokyo and stockholm sweden. tokyo because i absolutely love everything about it, the transportation the shops the food the homes, and stockholm for basically the same reasons.

☕️ talk about your ideal day

playing video games with my friends or being out at my art school all day, drawing :3c

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

intro. i love my friends and im getting more comfortable around people, but i just prefer to be home.

💧 when was the last time you cried?

the beginning of april

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

grandson - 6:00, any beach boys song, robert palmer - simply irresistible, john waite - missing you, and the entirety of gorillaz new album

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

flight!! ive always had the fantasy of flying up into really tall trees and just people watching all day

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont put so much stock into one skill, diversify yourself. and do your homework

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

ive noticed lately that i get jealous really easily when someone i dont know is hanging out with friends of mine. its a me issue though, i know that

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

ugh. this is a hard one....... i think .......kindness

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

im ashamed of the fact that i dont know how to flirt at ALL because i feel like i’d be further along with Some Stuff if i did 

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

just english ;; i know a tiny bit of spanish and i can understand it on paper, but thats it. id love to learn japanese or hebrew someday

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

oooooohhhh man, probably mccree from overwatch. prime boyfriend material and just my type. i love roadhog but he is like......... a criminal

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

everyone is happy and never has to worry about any financial issues or prejudice, just free to explore their passions until the day that they die.

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

uhh its pretty late in the day but i always make it a point to compliment people’s outfits in public, it always seems to make people happy :p

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

easy. id transform into a shapeshifter B)

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

i really hate people who take advantage of artists on this website and vice versa. 

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

i feel like im running out of time to be a kid and im not gonna have time to have fun anymore. im also scared about my future in general. im sad i dont get to spend as much time with my friends. lots of things

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be a concept artist, and i still want that!! specifically, a character designer :]

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

chocolate anything

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

does ‘the internet’ count? im pretty sure ive never spent more than a couple days away from a computer

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

my mind races and i think everyone either hates me or thinks i hate them

😪 what are you sick of?

you know what im sick of??? capitalism

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

YES!!! i love roller coasters and thrill rides, i’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping and sky diving, and im actually going zip-lining in september!!!

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

i think everyone takes at least one thing way too seriously, everyone should just chill

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

i think im an okay person, definitely not bad, and i try my best to present myself in the nicest, friendliest, most approachable way all the time ;_;

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

art, singing, video games, youtube, and i practice guitar now!!

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

actually....,,.,.,. it was Stronger than you....,.,.,. i hummed it on the way out of my art class today

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

i get way too jealous and hurt if i ever perceive anyone better than me, i feel like i need to be better than the best i know, i try to one up people subconsciously. i need to figure out a way to be more humble and stop trying to be the best, cause it just hurts everyone involved, including myself

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

cute girls!! in cute outfits :-)

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

age, mostly, and experience. and money. damn you capitalism

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

i couldn’t give two shits. i took that test years ago and i dont remember or care anymore

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

anon did you even read these questions or did you send this on impulse

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

iiiiii dont really like celebrities that much!! all the ones i liked are dead :(

🐴 opinion on __?

anon..................

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

yeah, way too much. i care too much, and i love too much, and it hurts after a while

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

iiiiiii dont really read anymore :|

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i try my best to never think of whats making me sad. just try my hardest to get it off my mind. i think it helps just as much as it can hinder

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

my friends and my family love me, and if i go they’ll be really disappointed. also i’ll miss all the cool new video games if i go

🌍 which country do you live in?

the usa, unfortunately

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

round, troubled, red

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” Robin Williams

💭 do you keep a diary?

nooo but i really should

💫 who inspires you?

my mom cause she does what she needs to every day even though sometimes she hates it. and also robbin williams, see above. he was my idol :’)

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes, cause that’d be cool. also i think we have one in our house, but she’s chill

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

either no effort or all the effort. i like cute things and also leather things

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

meet the robinsons. only movie that ever made me really cry.

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

being in my after-school care, and playing with my friends for hours on end, making up stories 

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

robin williams, see 💫

[nataliesnews]

and a Follow-up

 A true and amazing story. First is the email sent to me by a friend followed by my response to him after some research.

  Alvin

 Subject: Fwd: An Amazing story – Pfizer Vaccine

                                         Hard to read but worth it. 

                            An Amazing story – Pfizer Vaccine

 Sixty thousand Jews were in Thessaloniki, Greece on the eve of the outbreak of World War II. A living and vibrant Jewish community. Most of the porters in the port of Thessaloniki were Jews. The port of Thessaloniki was even closed on Saturday. Great rabbis lived there too

It was on this glorious community that the Nazi terror brutally rose.

Hitler took Greece by storm to secure his southern wing before launching Operation Barbarossa and the offensive against Russia.

Out of 60,000 Thessaloniki Jews, about 50,000were exterminated in Birkenau in a very short time…. Few survived.

Among the survivors were the Bourla family.

After the war in 1961 a son was born to the Bourla family. And they named him Israel - Abraham. (Albert).

Albert grew up and studied veterinary medicine. He received his doctorate in reproductive biotechnology from the Aristotle University of Salonika Veterinary School.

At the age of 34 he moved to the United States. He married a Jewish woman named Miriam and had two children.

In the United States, Bourla was integrated into the medical industry. He progressed very quickly and joined the Pfizer company where he became 'Head of Global Vaccines'.

From there, the road is short for his appointment as CEO of Pfizer in 2019.

Throughout the year, Bourla led the company's efforts to find a vaccine for corona in super efforts.

The vaccine that will save the lives of millions of people around the world was led and pushed by a Jew. Son of Holocaust survivors. From Thessaloniki.

His vaccine will also reach Germany, where 1000s have died from Covid, and the vaccine will also save lives there.

And THIS is why Israel is becoming the first country to receive the vaccine. In memory of Albert’s grandparents.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 -----Original Message----- From: alvin.goldberg@verizon.net Sent: Fri, Mar 5, 2021 1:26 pm Subject: Fwd: A follow-up An Amazing story – Pfizer Vaccine

   Your email describing Albert Bourla's story of his family gave me the inspiration to look into it further and what follows is an expansion of his family's story.

   Albert Bourla: My Family’s Story: Why We Remember

  This week, as we do every year, we commemorated International Holocaust Remembrance Day so that the stories of the victims and survivors are never forgotten. Yesterday, I was deeply honored to join the Sephardic Heritage International in DC ‘s Annual Congressional Holocaust Commemoration to share my family’s story in connection with the Holocaust.

You can watch me deliver my remarks or read them below.

 Remembrance. It’s this word, perhaps more than any other, that inspired me to share my parents’ story. That’s because I recognize how fortunate I am that my parents shared their stories with me and the rest of our family.

 Many Holocaust survivors never spoke to their children of the horrors they endured because it was too painful. But we talked about it a great deal in my family. Growing up in Thessaloniki, Greece, we would get together with our cousins on the weekends, and my parents, aunts and uncles would often share their stories.

 They did this because they wanted us to remember. To remember all the lives that were lost. To remember what can happen when the virus of evil is allowed to spread unchecked. But, most important, to remember the value of a human life.

 You see, when my parents spoke of the Holocaust, they never spoke of anger or revenge. They didn’t teach us to hate those who did this to our family and friends. Instead they spoke of how lucky they were to be alive … and how we all needed to build on that feeling, celebrate life and move forward. Hatred would only stand in the way.

 So, in that spirit, I’m here to share the story of Mois and Sara Bourla, my beloved parents.

 Our ancestors had fled Spain in the late 15th century, after King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella issued the Alhambra Decree, which mandated that all Spanish Jews either convert to Catholicism or be expelled from the country. They eventually settled in the Ottoman Thessaloniki, which later became part of Greece following its liberation from the Ottoman Empire in 1912.

 Before Hitler began his march through Europe, there was a thriving Sephardic Jewish community in Thessaloniki. So much so that it was known as “La Madre de Israel” or “The Mother of Israel.” Within a week of the occupation, however, the Germans had arrested the Jewish leadership, evicted hundreds of Jewish families and confiscated their apartments. And it took them less than three years to accomplish their goal of exterminating the community. When the Germans invaded Greece, there were approximately 50,000 Jews living in the city. By the end of the war, only 2,000 had survived.

Lucky for me, both of my parents were among the 2,000.

 My father’s family, like so many others, had been forced from their home and taken to a crowded house within one of the Jewish ghettos. It was a house they had to share with several other Jewish families. They could circulate in and out of the ghetto, as long as they were wearing the yellow star.

 But one day in March 1943, the ghetto was surrounded by occupation forces, and the exit was blocked. My father, Mois, and his brother, Into, were outside when this happened. When they approached, they met their father, who also was outside. He told them what was happening and asked them to leave and hide. But he had to go in because his wife and his two other children were home. Later that day, my grandfather, Abraham Bourla, his wife, Rachel, his daughter, Graciela, and his younger son, David, were taken to a camp outside the train station. From there they left for Auschwitz-Birkenau. Mois and Into never saw them again.

 The same night, my father and uncle escaped to Athens, where they were able to obtain fake IDs with Christian names. They got the IDs from the head of police, who at the time was helping Jews escape the persecution of the Nazis. They lived there until the end of the war … all the while having to pretend that they were not Jews … that they were not Mois and Into – but rather Manolis and Vasilis. 

 When the German occupation ended, they went back to Thessaloniki and found that all their property and belongings had been stolen or sold. With nothing to their name, they started from scratch, becoming partners in a successful liquor business that they ran together until they both retired.

My mom’s story also was one of having to hide in her own land … of narrowly escaping the horrors of Auschwitz … and of family bonds that sustained her spirit and, quite literally, saved her life.

 Like my father’s family, my mom’s family was relocated to a house within the ghetto. My mother was the youngest girl of seven children. Her older sister had converted to Christianity to marry a Christian man she had fallen in love with before the war, and she and her husband were living in another city where no one knew that she had previously been a Jew. At that time mixed weddings were not accepted by society, and my grandfather wouldn’t talk to his eldest daughter because of this.

 But when it became clear that the family was going to head to Poland, where the Germans had promised a new life in a Jewish settlement, my grandfather asked his eldest daughter to come and see him. In this last meeting they ever had, he asked her to take her youngest sister – my mom – with her. 

There my mom would be safe because no one knew that she or her sister were of Jewish heritage. The rest of the family went by train straight to Auschwitz-Birkenau.

 Toward the end of the war, my mom’s brother-in-law was transferred back to Thessaloniki. People knew my mom there, so she had to hide in the house 24 hours a day out of fear of being recognized and turned over to the Germans. But she was still a teenager, and every so often, she would venture outside. Unfortunately, during one of those walks, she was spotted and arrested.

 She was sent to a local prison. It was not good news. It was well known that every day around noon, some of the prisoners would be loaded on a truck to be transferred to another location where the next dawn they would be executed. Knowing this, her brother-in-law, my dearest Christian uncle, Kostas Dimadis, approached Max Merten, a known war criminal who was in charge of the Nazi occupation forces in the city.

 He paid Merten a ransom in exchange for his promise that my mom would not be executed. But her sister, my aunt, didn’t trust the Germans. So, she would go to the prison every day at noon to watch as they loaded the truck that would transfer the prisoners to the execution site. And one day she saw what she had been afraid of: my mom being put on the truck.

 She ran home and told her husband who immediately called Merten. He reminded him of their agreement and tried to shame him for not keeping his word. Merten said he would look into it and then abruptly hung up the phone.

 That night was the longest in my aunt and uncle’s life because they knew the next morning, my mom would likely be executed. The next day – on the other side of town – my mom was lined up against a wall with other prisoners. And moments before she would have been executed, a soldier on a BMW motorcycle arrived and handed some papers to the man in charge of the firing squad.

 They removed from the line my mom and another woman. As they rode away, my mom could hear the machine gun fire slaughtering those that were left behind. It’s a sound that stayed with her for the rest of her life.

 Two or three days later, she was released from prison. And just a few weeks after that, the Germans left Greece.

 Fast forward eight years and my parents were introduced by their families in a typical-for-the-time matchmaking. They liked each other and agreed to marry. They had two children – me and my sister, Seli.

 My father had two dreams for me. He wanted me to become a scientist and was hoping I would marry a nice Jewish girl. I am happy to say that he lived long enough to see both dreams come true. Unfortunately, he died before our children were born ... but my mom did live long enough to see them, which was the greatest of blessings.

 So, that is the story of Mois and Sara Bourla. It’s a story that had a great impact on my life and my view of the world, and it is a story that, for the first time today, I share publicly.

 However, when I received the invitation to speak at this event – at this moment in time when racism and hatred are tearing at the fabric of our great nation – I felt it was the right time to share the story of two simple people who loved, and were loved by, their family and friends. Two people who stared down hatred and built a life filled with love and joy. Two people whose names are known by very few … but whose story has now been shared with the members of the United States Congress – the world’s greatest and most just legislative body. And that makes their son very proud.

 This brings me back to remembrance. As time marches on and today’s event shrinks in our rearview mirrors, I wouldn’t expect you to remember my parents’ names, but I implore you to remember their story. Because remembering gives each of us the conviction, the courage and the compassion to take the necessary actions to ensure their story is never repeated.

 Thank you again for the invitation to speak today. And thank you for remembering.

 Stay safe and stay well.

[votingdog]

hi im leigh and im a slut for oversharing so have another ask thing about a year later

1: Is there a person in your life? yes, id say there is 2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? no. 3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” some selfies i posted a lil while back 4:What’s something you really want right now? c u d d l e s 5:Are you afraid of falling in love?  no. im scared of falling out of it 6:Do you like the beach? in small doses 7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? yes 8:What’s the background on your cell? some weeby shit 9:Name the last four beds you were sat on? mine, addison’s, my grandmother’s, and my friend’s 10:Do you like your phone? it gets what i need it to done 11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? lmao nO but that’s okay 12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? xavier 13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? rott 14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? both 15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? zoooo 16:Are you tired? 24/7 17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? first as in first added or top?? shrugs top has been since since the middle of last school year  18:Are they a relative? try my ex 19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? yes 20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? i talk to him every day now 21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? no, marriage is scary 22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? you bet ya sweet ass 23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? none 24:Is there a certain quote you live by? “don’t pop pills popcorn” 25:What’s on your mind? what isnt rn 26:Do you have any tattoos? no but i want some 27:What is your favorite color? orange 28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? i ?? dont know ?? hopefully soon bc im needy 29:Who are you texting? no one as i type this, but noah before 30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? yee 31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? i felt super shitty one day from the moment i woke up then when i got home from school i learned my dog had died so 32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? yes 33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? i know a couple people that do 34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? yes and it makes me melt every time 35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? good for him!! i was probably aware of it beforehand if it was right in front of me so im a-ok with it 36:Were you single on Valentines Day? nope 37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? yeee 38:What do your friends call you? leigh or a weird nickname 39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? myself bitch wtf 40:Have you ever cried over a text? lmaoooooo  41:Where’s your last bruise located? my arm 42:What is it from? i think i hit a wall 43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? i was here while my step dad and his girlfriend were fighitng yike 44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? xavier 45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? i only have one pair of shoes?? 46:Do you wear hats if youre having a bad hair day? nah every day is a bad hair day and i dont have enough hats 47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? probably not. the only reason i think id go bald is because of everyone tellign me how much they wish i hadnt cut my hair short  48:Do you make supper for your family? i help make it a lot 49:Does your bedroom have a door? yes 50:Top 3 web-pages? tumblr, ourworld, facebook?? 51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? probably 52:Does anything on your body hurt? my back jesus fucking christ mY BACK 53:Are goodbyes hard for you? i don’t think goodbyes are ever really easy for anyone 54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? tea probably 55:How is your hair? he’s going through a hard time since his breakup, but he’s hanging in there. thanks for asking. it means a lot to him 56:What do you usually do first in the morning? try to go back to sleep 57:Do you think two people can last forever? i think that two people can last in each other’s lives until they die, whether that be romantically or platonically. it just takes work  58:Think back to January 2007, were you single? dude idk i was 6 59:Green or purple grapes? grEEN 60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? shrugs. i’ll probably get sad and hug my sibling 61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? yes 62:When will be the next time you text someone? right after i finish this 63:Where will you be 5 hours from now? still here 64:What were you doing at 8 this morning. sleeping 65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? yeah it was some dude i had a fling with that i,,,cannot remember the name of  66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yesyes 67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? no someone come hug mee 68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? probably about the person i like because when am i not daydreaming 69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes, but that;s life. not everything lasts forever  70:How many windows are open on your computer? three 71:How many fingers do you have? ten, unless you don’t count thumbs then 8 72:What is your ringtone? shrugs 73:How old will you be in 5 months? 17 74:Where is your Mum right now? your guess is as good as mine 75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? Shr uG s i still talk to him though aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA 76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? yes 77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? yep 78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? that’s like, sixth grade i think?? so yeah, and i used to sit pretty close to him in algebra 79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? my grandpa 80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? many times 81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? oh jeez. uh. seven? i think? three were relationships, two were kind of relationships, and two were/are crushes. there were also poly experiences in that so i mean 82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? yes 83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? i talk to him every day 84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot people out of your car window, you’re with? noah probably. i feel like id drunk text him and he’s come make sure i was okay and then id pull shit like that 85:If your partner was into drugs would you care? nah 86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? i?? dont remember the last time i saw a movie in theaters? 87:Who was your last received call from? technically noah but he called my old number  88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? i don’t like butterflies but still no omg 89:What is something you wish you had more of? affection, friends, love, positivity 90:Have you ever trusted someone too much? hoooooboi yes 91:Do you sleep with your window open? no 92:Do you get along with girls? i tend not to yikes but i try 93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? probably 94:Does sex mean love? no 95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? nah man. i mean, the fact that we’re locked in may be a problem bc idk who locked us in there or why, but we’d be fine 96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? no 97:Did you sleep alone this week? not the entire week 98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? yesyesyes 99:Do you believe in love at first sight? i believe in fascination and curiosity and attraction at first sight, but not love 100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise? probably my ex because we pinkie promised a lot

[perfectly-wasted-youthhh]

lol binch if I did it you do too, 1-100

lmaoooo spiteful, but whatevs, also mine are gonna be more boring sorry.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? Nope! 

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Yes in the sense that they’re in my life and I love them but I guess not fully in the sense that I’ll still feel upset sometimes. 

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

I think of cats. Like what

4: What’s something you really want right now?

To be comfy with my body so I don’t have to stress about it over the summer

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

No, I’m more afraid of not falling in love (sorry for how fake deep that sounds but for real)

6: Do you like the beach?

Very much, it will be my main habitat over the summer hopefully

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yes, at like sleepovers, with their feet in my face. Romantic haha

8: What’s the background on your cell?

Amber, it makes me homesick but I like it anyways

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine in college, mine at home, Tu’s, and emme’s

10: Do you like your phone?

I’m very indifferent about it

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

No not really, I’m very okay with it but sometimes I feel like more is expected from me and it stresses me out. 

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

My chemistry lab partner sophie’s

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Neither are my fav breed but I knew a really friendly cute rottweiler when i was a kid so that probably

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

As someone who is overly emotional I’d say emotional pain but I’ve never been through a physical pain that has lasted beyond a dull ache.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

I’ve never been to an art museum so I’d love to go to one for the experience but a zoo is a guaranteed good time

 16: Are you tired?

Mentally yes, but I can’t physically fall asleep haha

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Alex Raydan, I’ve known him since 1st grade

18: Are they a relative?

Nope

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Nah

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

tonight

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

I don’t think it would be necessary, but if you could guarantee they were the person I’d want to be with all my life, then yeah I suppose 

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Maybe in the right context

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

I have one hair tie on each wrist for balance, does that count

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“Don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Do better. Much better. Become so engulfed in your own success you forget it ever happened.” lmao literally just a quote I found on tumblr but I like it a lot and it makes me feel stronger so 

25: What’s on your mind?

u kno I’m plannin my summer aesthetic 24/7

26: Do you have any tattoos?

No, hoping to get some soon

27: What is your favorite color?

Deep green

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

I have no idea haha, hopefully over the summer but no guarantees lmao

29: Who are you texting?

No one at the moment

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yes

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

yes, i feel pretty comfy talking to michael, darious and zany. Gettin more comfy with vincent and tu now as well

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Not particularly

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes, it’s always very appreciated

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I’d be pretty weirded out and wish they would stop lmao

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yessss

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes, i am

38: What do your friends call you?

Binch, dude, bb, bbygirl, aside from the typical just Nikki

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes, but my bar for getting upset is pretty low oops

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Yeah haha I have most of my serious conversations over text cuz I’m a lil bitch

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Right in the center of my chest

42: What is it from?

Bra was too tight and pressed into my chest

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Physics lecture last Tuesday when I was running on 3 hrs of sleep

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mom

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yep, white sneakers

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No I look considerably worse in hats

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Probably not I like my hair a lot

48: Do you make supper for your family?

No but my mom deserves it lol so I should try

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes haha

50: Top 3 web-pages?

tumblr, netflix, hulu

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

my mom and dad both hate it

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

Yeah I worked out yesterday so my thighs and stomach hurt

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Extremely, I always build them up in my head so I’m always a little underwhelmed and unsatisfied when I leave

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

water

55: How is your hair?

It’s okay, I really need to get it cut, it’s lacking any style lmao

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Brushing my teeth is always first

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Yeah I think so, but I think it involves a lot of compromise and effort

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? hahaha yes

59: Green or purple grapes? purple for sure, the darker the better

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Probably june 15th when I say goodbye to my roommates for the summer 

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yes, I wish I were home

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Probably tomorrow afternoon

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Sleppin

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleppin

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Kyle 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Tommy melts my heart he’s precious, same with Charlotte

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

no kissing, and I’m pretty sure no hugging either

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

lmao “why is no one responding to me”

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yes maybe once or twice, but usually I’ve gotten what I’ve wanted out of situations so go me

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

4

71: How many fingers do you have?

all of them thankfully

72: What is your ringtone?

the default

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 19 haha

74: Where is your Mum right now?

In vista CA no one try to find her and kill her pls

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Just wasn’t right I guess

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

No I have not

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Yes!

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Brody Barnhill

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Pipe down Mike

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Nooope

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

I have very fleeting interests in college, but people I’ve liked for more than a few days would be zero haha

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Emme and tracy are constantly seeing me in my underwear

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Nope

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Kelsey and Amber probably and both of them are telling me to fucking stop

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yeah, if it was habitual use

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I almost wasn’t allowed to see Baywatch because I didn’t think it was rated R and apparently I do not look 17 and my college ID wasn’t proof enough that I was at least 18 lmao

87: Who was your last received call from?

Me mum

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Yes

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Money and motivation lmao

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Perhaps, but it’s never been to much of an issue, just embarrassing for me sometimes

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Yes it gets very hot in this room

92: Do you get along with girls?

Pretty much 100% of the time

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Nope

94: Does sex mean love?

Nope 

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nah, maybe a little boring after a while but that’s all

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No, I don’t know how I’d feel about it, I feel like I’d be afraid of pulling it somehow

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

All the time haha

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yes, I do haha

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not particularly, it sounds nice tho

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

I think emme, she likes that kind of stuff 

Hope this made you feel better Michael lmao

[closethegoddamndoorswat]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself, and at the end, chose 25 people to tag i was tagged by @goldun-days LAST: 1.) drink: agua 2.) phone call: my mama llama 3.) text messages: actual text messages was me explaining to my “friend” that when nobody responds on the groupchat it’s because we DONT want to converse or have her blab on.. except in a polite way? 4.) song you listened to: currently Migraine by TOP, but before it was Growing Up by Macklemore ft. Ed Sheeran 5.) time you cried: yesterday i got teary eyed because self-titled top HAVE YOU EVER 6.) dated someone twice: uhh yeah more than twice tho more like six times 7.) been cheated on: emotionally? yes. physically? no 8.) kissed someone and regretted it: havent really had my first kiss yet so nope 9.) lost someone special: not really 10.) been depressed: uhhh yeah fam 11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, i havent done any drinking yet LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12.) Mint greeny blue 13.) black 14.) used to be maroon but thats the color of a school that wait-listed me so i’ll say purple! IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15.) made new friends: HELL FUCK YES 16.) fallen out of love: ive never loved anyone, not romantically 17.) laughed until you cried: yeah, family stories and old family pictures.. also ezra and ry convos 18.) found out someone was talking about you: who hasnt tbh 19.) met someone who changed you: SHANNON YOU COMPLICATE MY FEELINGS SO MUCH BUT YOU HAVE DEFINITELY CHANGED ME 20.) found out who your true friends are: OH HELL FUCKING YES I HAD ALL SUMMER OF THAT 21.) kissed someone on your Facebook list: ew who uses Facebook? Also, never kissed 22.) how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: again, no Facebook 23.) do you have any pets: MHM JOSIE NAMED AFTER THE SONG JOSAPHINE BY DISPATCH SHES A BRINDLE MUTT FROM A SHELTER WE LOVER HER V V MUCH 24.) do you want to change your name: hnnnnng kinda but more for the fact that i dont associate with my birth name at all and less because of gender identity 25.) what did you do for your last birthday: the usual: go to my grandparents’ house and eat a melting cake and watch my grandfather and uncles shoot off fireworks while we try not to burn ourselves with sparklers. 26.) what time did you wake up: around 8:30 but then i went back to bed for three hours 27.) what were you doing at midnight last night: Kiking with Ezra i think 28.) name something you cannot wait for: my band to actually write some gotdamn music 29.) when was the last time you saw your mother: three hours ago 30.) what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: That i wasnt such a dickhead about practicing music 31.) what are you listening to right now: Part II by Paramore 32.) have you ever talked to a person named tom: there was a helper guy who was a college student named Tom at our rock band camp.. he played ukulele :) 33.) something that gets on your nerves: my own acne 34.) most visited website: probably either tumblr or ao3 35.) elementary: Fuckt™ ((public school, home school, charter school my mom started while home schooling me.. yeah.) 36.) high school: Stop Reminding Me I Know I Have No Plan Because Everywhere Rejected Me Stfu 37.) college: hopefully nowhere, id rather be touring 38.) hair color: Reddish-orange-brown because i have brown hair dyed with henna 39.) long or short hair: short!! 40.) do you have a crush on someone: more like multiple people i would date and/o make out with but feel no need to stress over making anything official or pining for aged 41.) what do you like about yourself: surprisingly, a lot.. i like my lips tho! They arent TOO small or too big theyre a lil plump and small like all of my features 42.) piercings: just standard ear piercings but i wanna pierce more shit 43.) blood type: fuck i think it’s O negative idk?? 44.) relationship status: single and lonely,,, hmu babes 45.) nicknames: my mom calls me Pessa (short for however u spell princess in italian), my brother calls me Chlub, and my friends that call me Toni use the nickname Tono 46.) zodiac sign: cancer 47.) pronouns: they/them or she/her 48.) fav tv show: House M.D. ((Patrick stump had a cameo ;) )) 49.) tattoos: non but i wanna get lots of lil important black symbols and shit 50.) right or left handed: right i am the majority FIRST: 51.) surgery: nope, not yet 52.) piercing: ears 53.) best friend: Elizabeth or Katy, i forget which came first 54.) sport: soccer i think, like p much everyone 55.) vacation: my dad’s aunt has a house on Martha’s vineyard that we used to rent and i think we’re trying to rent it again this year and it’ll be so great to go back!! 56.) pair of trainers: i have no fucking clue i dont remember 57.) eating: nothing 58.) drinking: water sorta 59.) about to see: nothing 60.) listening to: A Love Like War by ATL ft. Vic Fuentes 61.) waiting for: perpetually waiting for acceptance letters from schools ayy 62.) want: piercings and tattoos and a partner 63.) get married: idfk yet man 64.) career: HANDS FUCK DOWN A MUSICIAN ILL SELL MY SOULD TO PETE WENTZ ILL SUCK A DICK I JUST WANT TO BE ON WARPED TOUR AND BEBIN A BAND PLEASE WHICH IS BETTER 65.) hugs or kisses: both?? I dont have much experience in the latter tho 66.) lips or eyes: couldnt care less 67.) shorter or taller: taller because i think it’s impossible for anyone to be shorter than me 68.) younger or older: imma say older because maturity level needs o be above average like mine 69.) romantic or spontaneous: whichever suits the person better! 70.) nice arms or nice stomach: idfc as long as one holds me and i can tickle the other one 71.) sensitive or loud: LOUD BITCH 72.) hook up or relationship: atm, honestly, maybe just hook up because idk if i can deal with an emotional relationship? 73.) troublemaker or hesitant: neither HAVE YOU EVER 74.) kissed a stranger: nope 75.) drank hard liquor: nope 76.) lost glasses/contact lenses: dont need them so nope 77.) turned someone down: yep 78.) sex on first date: nope to both 79.) broken someone’s heart: nope 80.) had your own heart broken: not really, i did get real pissed at him tho 81.) been arrested: nope 82.) cried when someone died: nope 83.) fallen for a friend: uhhh maybe 84.) yourself?: Good™ 85.) miracles?: meh 86.) love at first sight?: should walk by again 87.) santa claus?: as much as brendon urie not being a fuckboi.. no 88.) kiss on the first date?: yeah if both parties are down 89.) angels?: DONT GET EXISTENTIAL ON ME BINCH 90.) current best friends name(s): Ezra the Mega Ultimate Squish and Ryan, AKA CatAssJones 91.) eye color: Boring Brown 92.) favorite movie: Deadpool and/or The Blues Brothers.. Anyone can do this, just say i tagged you in it!! P.S. ...We're on a mission from Gahd.

[mariequeerie]

every question!!

okay, thanks! i know this is late but ive been busy lately so hereeee we go:

VALENTINE'S DAY | ASK SPECIAL

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? -i have the sweetest bf ever hes my crush

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?- currently im the most in love ive ever been

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?-1 year and progressing

4: Have you ever changed for someone?-i have bpd that tells me i gotta change to be liked so,, ye

5: How is your relationship with your ex?- nonexistent and cold

6: Have you ever been cheated on?- i really hope not

7: Have you ever cheated?-no, i would never

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?- no 

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?-emotional trust

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?-serious

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?-no it feels like a cop out just work through your problems and stay together

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?-i dont do hook ups

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?-the way i ended it was inhumane

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?-its really case specific but i think if they’re educated and with someone of their own maturity they can tell when they’re ready. i dont think sex should be thought of as so severe

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?-no. no. gross. creepy. pedophilia. bad 

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?- no, i think love has to be built over time with work and interaction

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?-yes, i dont see why it wouldnt be, so long as you dont fully rely on physical presence

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?- cheating, forcing me into things i dont want, unsupportive, shallow, stupid

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?-ive only done this once and that was because my friends pointed out to me that it was actually abusive sooooo

20: Are you currently in a relationship?-yes @the-long-awaited-spaceman is the love of my life

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?- yes, if the relationship ended in mutual agreement

22: Do you think people should date their friends?- thats all ive ever done and it makes for a really cute, close relationship!

23: How many relationships have you had?-3

24: Do you think love can last forever?-yes

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?-no

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?-god no, if i did that id only date straight, white, christian boys

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?-stop chasing boring straight boys

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?-yes

29: What do you notice first about another person?-voice, hair, and height i think

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?-no, otherwise i would never have dated anyone. i am severely mentally ill and i like to help and love my partner

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?-yes, physically and emotionally

33: Do you want to get married one day?-yes!

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?-risky and cliche

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?- yes but its not preferred 

36: Are you still a virgin?-no

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?-70% personality

38: Do you enjoy love films?-not usually

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?-yes

40: Have you ever had a valentine?-yesssss

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?-maybe a lil lunch and then going to a bookstore and going home, reading books, and fucking reallly hard

42: Have you ever read "Romeo &and Juliet"?-yes! i love Shakespeare. why is this question on here tho its not a love story

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?-both are essential to me

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?- i try but im bad at it

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?-im dating my best friends, and yeah id date almost all of em

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?-thats not a thing my dude

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?-bill nye and neil degrasse tyson 

48: What's your favorite love song?-kiss me by ed sheeran i think

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?-i think so like few times

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?- im not

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?-ummmmm idk id be a sugar baby tbh.... i luv muney

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?-surprisingly yeah?

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?-not rlly no

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?-i rlly dont care what other people know.

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?-yea yes yep

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?-probs?

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?-i mean its silly but i get the feeling of severe abandoment trauma and id probs do it...

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?-sub!!!!! 

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?-no 

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?- cool but not for me

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?-partner. i hate my family

62: How do you define "cheating"?-physically touching someone in a sexual way without your partners direct consent

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?-no sometimes we watch it together :)

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?-enh i mean its cute but

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler”?-hellllll yeeees

[demonialex]

1-100 😘

omfg ok under the cut cuz yeah long af

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify!

is your room messy or clean? uhhh it’s in the middle i guess lmao a little messy but not complete chaos imo?

what color are your eyes? dark brown

do you like your name? why? i hate my given name so instead i named myself alex and now i rly like it ay B) 

what is your relationship status? single

describe your personality in 3 words or less caring, impatient, lazy

what color hair do you have? brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? i dont have a car

where do you shop? uhhhhh i dont really shop much cuz im broke? but sometimes in various stores it depends on what im getting?

how would you describe your style? “i don’t have enough money to dress in the style i actualyl like so this will have to do”

favorite social media account ngl it’s probably this hellsite

what size bed do you have? queen

any siblings? nah, only child

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? hmmmm probably canada? cause they seem rly chill with lgbtq ppl and they are rather safe? plus i speak the language sooo

favorite snapchat filter? ...the dog one (well out of the current ones cuz i rly miss the “greek goddess” or whatever the hell was the name of that one)

favorite makeup brand(s) kinda rly dont care tbh? i kinda of go with whats cheaper lmao and also it varies on what it is (foundation, eye shadow, etc)

how many times a week do you shower? usually every day tho im ngl today i was so exhausted (im super sick) that i forgot to shower

favorite tv show? currently? probably the magicians

shoe size? varies between 7~8 US

how tall are you? 162cm

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? ok i tried going this year but then i got drowned in homework and now i have the flu dont judge me

describe your dream date honestly i have no idea? as long as im with someone i actually like and am attracted to, and that the conversation flows, im good.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? my go-to wallet? 0. my savings wallet? i think around 1k or 1.5k i cant remember for sure? as i said, it’s a /savings/ wallet 

what color socks are you wearing? im not wearing socks

how many pillows do you sleep with? one under my bed and one on each side of me so i can throw my leg over it when i roll

do you have a job? what do you do? nah, not allowed to work ;-; 

how many friends do you have? uhhhhh... 3? 4? idk mate i lost A LOT of friends in the past few years :/ I have quite a few “acquaintances” now and ppl i wish were my friends but who dont seem to want the same, but actual friends i think probably just 4

whats the worst thing you have ever done? depends on who u ask, on ur morals, etc

whats your favorite candle scent? i like too many, i cant pick!! D:

3 favorite boy names guilherme, alex, leonardo ? i guess? idk

3 favorite girl names carolina, camila, alex. again, i guess lmao idk

favorite actor? dont rly have one

favorite actress? again dont rly have one oops im boring

who is your celebrity crush? fck i have way too many tbh

favorite movie? probably DEBS tbh

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?not rly... it’s not that i dont /want to/ it’s just that i constantly forget to read. my fave is probably little brother or my girlfriend is a geek

money or brains? for myself? money! on a potential partner? brains tho idc that much abt academically smart yadda yadda

do you have a nickname? what is it? Zu

how many times have you been to the hospital? uhhhh for actual important shit and not just casual check ups probably.... 4 or 5 times? i cant remember. i had pneumonia and i fractured bones quite a few times

top 10 favorite songs !!! i cant choose fam

do you take any medications daily?ye anti depressant and anti anxiety

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) always thought it was oily but apparently it’s mixed/combination

what is your biggest fear? ooo boy i have too many fears idk if i can choose a main biggest one

how many kids do you want? none thanks

whats your go to hair style?  “i woke up and was too lazy to brush my hair plus if i dont brush it it looks extra fluffy and slightly curled”

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small-ish apartment

who is your role model? dont have one tbh

what was the last compliment you received? deadass cant remember

what was the last text you sent? “thank you~”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? no clue tbh i was still a child haha 

what is your dream car? I rly dont wanna drive tbh but i find lamborghinis so fckin gorgeous

opinion on smoking? idc as long as u dont do it next to me cause it tends to make me cough a lot. tho depend on what ur smoking and the brand and if we are in an open space for some reason i dont smoke so ye

do you go to college? yup!!

what is your dream job? no clue

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs. the more things to do the better

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? i usually forget but my mom always takes them for me so :^)

do you have freckles? not the standard “a bunch of tiny ones around ur face”, but i have the classic brown ones here and there. does that make sense? :v (i hate that u guys have the same word for both kind of freckles smh)

do you smile for pictures? not usually? at most a close mouthed smile more like a smirk lmao

how many pictures do you have on your phone? i dont wanna do the math but over 1k

have you ever peed in the woods? who hasnt??

do you still watch cartoons? if animes are considered cartoons then sometimes, if not then not really

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? cant remember how the wendy’s ones taste like so i will go with mcdonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? depends on what im eating. usually blue cheese, if not then bbq

what do you wear to bed? depends on how hot it is lol

have you ever won a spelling bee? never even been to one

what are your hobbies? watching tv shows? idk mate

can you draw? kinda i guess

do you play an instrument? nah :(

what was the last concert you saw? i think it was demi lovato lmao

tea or coffee? i dont really drink either tbh. loved the tea my friend made me, and loved the coffee my grandma used to make me. alas both live too far away now

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? i deadass think i only went to dunkin donuts ONCE and i dont remember shit abt it so i will go with starbucks

do you want to get married? hmmm idc either way

what is your crush’s first and last initial? dont rly have a /major/ crush rn, just smol ones

are you going to change your last name when you get married? if their name is cooler maybe

what color looks best on you? black

do you miss anyone right now? i constantly miss too many ppl but i try to avoid thinking abt it

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed!! i hate sleeping with open doors

do you believe in ghosts? i guess?

what is your biggest pet peeve? idk fam i have too many haha im blanking rn

last person you called` probably my mom or my grandma. i hate calloing ppl so i usually just call them lmao

favorite ice cream flavor? hmm probably half baked from B&J. in general i like peanut, chocolate, vanilla, bubblegum... i have a rly sweet toothe lol

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular!

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate!! the rainbow ones taste like plastic imo

what shirt are you wearing? it’s not rly a shirt? it’s a.. camisole? i think that’s how u say it? my mom got it for me, it’s from that the despicable movie or whatever it was called

what is your phone background? lock screen is julia wicker, home screen is julia and marina

are you outgoing or shy? generally shy but id depends on who i am with i guess

do you like it when people play with your hair? if i like the person (even as friends, just as long as im comfortable with them) then hell yes i love it! if it’s a stranger or someone i rly dont like then no obvs

do you like your neighbors? i dont rly know them tbh

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? ye usually once when i wake up and once before going to bed.

have you ever been high? nah i was able to take like 2 drags and then i died coughing

have you ever been drunk? nope:( not from lack of trying lol but the taste is so gross it makes me feel a bit nauseous

last thing you ate? bread with requeijao

favorite lyrics right now the lyrics of “trem bala”. deadss considering getting part of it tattooed cause it’s so... deep? and good? and it’s sigh it’s rly good if anyone is interested i can translate is lol 

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? white tho milk is a close second

favorite month? hmmm idk? maybe november cause mah bday?

what is your zodiac sign scorpio

who was the last person you cried in front of? i rarely cry and even more rarely cry in front of others so i dont rly remember but if i had to guess probably my mom?

[mefukimeme-gonebithc]

SWINGS OPEN DOOR FRANTICALLY AND POINTS AT ALL THE EMOJIS: do it

.........................oh boy

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

HMMM most of them id rather not talk about since theyre really personal/a lot of them arent really secrets since i have talked abt them but they can easily go unnoticed sooooo

im confessing to having a thing for gloves i guess??? specifically black cloth gloves (im not a fan of leather, feels Weird) so. ye. 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

All (in the end id probably be getting hugged tho haha im v awkward at hugging vs being hugged)

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

CARBINKS!!! anything that i deem cute is my favourite (ex. r/owlets, m/imikyus, bonus since theyre a dark/fairy >:3c!!, pum/pkaboo, etc) 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

donald trump would be dead and obama can stay president for another 4 years until the world gains potential candidates that arent shitty

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

I Dont Think I Want To Talk About It. ill just link the post. (btw thats my dream journal blog, i should use it more)

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i have multiple so hmm.....maybe the fact they put up with my gay bullshit

😘 talk about your crush or partner

gay. moving on.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya betch

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

-hair

-singing

-cuteness factor

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

HMM im mainly scared of losing my friends and thatll take more than just mental training to move on, but uhh i DO have a mild fear of getting assaulted..........idk how to fix that bc its actually really bad paired up w paranoia

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

kuro kiryu. he can also easily make me cRY WHEN HES A FUCKING RANKING CARD.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

when they do stuff theyre not asked to do and complain like “oh my GOd [persons name] why cant you do this??? im so tired, i just wanna rest, but i HAVE to do this!!” like shut up no one asked you to do it, if youre so tired to rest first and then do it.

another irritating thing is people who use the term “special snowflake” unironically especially on kids who make edgy/mary sue ocs like shut up ugly let them grow up and regret their choices by themselves, dont teach them its okay to make fun of younger people for their edgy ocs

😤 do you get angry easily?

irritated??? ya, angry??? no

youd have to do some fucked shit to get me angry, but i do get irritated fast

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I DONT THINK I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM HERE,,,

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

-education system

-change how the U.S. ignores the struggles of third world countries unless it profits them/benefits them

-solar energy  

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

“GKL JGAE THE ODDBALLS”

kiss - wataru

befriend - rei

marry - natsume

kill - shu

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

SAN DIEGO!!! its got such a nice vibe, its never too hot there, NATURE!!! I LOVE THE SCENERY THERE EVEN IN THE CITY THERES TREES AND ITS SO NICE!! its just got such a nice vibe to it i havent felt anywhere else and its SO NICE!!

☕️ talk about your ideal day

ideal day, i get to be home alone, play both of AKATSUKI’s albums while talking and playing games with friends without worry ill be too loud to anyone else, i get good food, and i have a nice dream that i remember vividly

alternatively, visiting a bunch of greenhouses/nature filled areas would be Great

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

uhh im gonna go with ambivert/introvert leaning

💧 when was the last time you cried?

crying as in “i feel like Death”, literally a few hours ago because i remember the daikagura kuro.....

as in actually breaking down, yesterday was really bad grhgra

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

1. love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

2. temptation magic

3. ryusei hanabi

4. hinakura to neji ama 

5. the living ghost is alive

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

HMMM this is actually hard for me to pick bc ive had multiple kins where i had powers fuc UHHH

its really hard for me to pick just one, so i guess ill just list off top 5 and why

1. teleportation - i could teleport to my friends cities, also i could prob trick people into thinking im running when im just teleporting inch by inch/foot by foot >:3c

2. deceiving ability like kano - ,,,it seems pretty neat

3. the ability to cheer people up - ,,, it seems pre

4. shapeshifting/transformation - theres absolutely no consequences to being able to make myself taller.........

5. weapon/item creation - i could just make headphones instead of buying them AND i can ensure theyll last

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont worry about how youre being treated now, itll get better

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

ahh, its hard for me to be jealous uhh

in one aspect, i guess te/tora since hes so energetic and hes paired so often with ku/ro...im pretty jealous

in another aspect, j/acksep/ticeye or th/omas san/ders. id love to be able to make a difference to others like how they do, not to mention id love to be as energetic as them

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

bravery definitely. im fairly kind, i have enough brain power (OOOOO AIEOU JOO-) to get by, im fine with how cute i am >;3c, wealth is good but over bravery which im very much lacking in, id rather be brave so i could do so many things id love to do......

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

in a joking manner: my kink for intimidating characters. @ me chill

in a serious matter: probably the fact im awful at trying to cheer people up and i feel awful fornot even trying anymore

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i know english, im VERY limited in thai/lao/japanese, and i know next to nothing of spanish/german/french but i did take a few notes about them bc i was bored. i wanna learn thai/lao the most so i can connect with my culture more, but japanese would be nice since a lot of stuff i enjoy is japanese and i dont wanna hastle others to translate stuff for me haha

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

KURO KIRYU I LOVE HIM

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

a universe where im energetic, not lazy, and motivated to continue on in life and make the world just a tad bit better. and i live with my friends in a nice house in san diego!!

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

,,, i really dont know, and thats why im disappointed in myself

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

demon. theres so many types of demons i dont have to be malicious, plus i could blend in fairly well. theres no rly big downside except ill be frowned upon by other divines

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

someone: you hurt my boyfriend you take away his fp you pretty much fuck him over and you proceed to have gross/abusive kinks shut the fuck up ugly i hate you so much and i never even talked to you i never want to see you mention his url or name ever again youre so awful

something: school fucking sucks and i can bring up a lot of reasons for this. 1: some of the teachers hired are only hired to educate, so personality wise they could be oppressive towards their students. 2: while i do feel like having a core lesson plan is okay, FORCING kids into certain core subjects is bad and they end up not learning because they feel like they HAVE to be their best or else theyll fail, and thats awful. the grading system isnt completely awful, since it shows kids areas that need to be improved, but making it some life changing thing is just...bad...because at that point it goes from “well you need to improve in these areas, so why dont we offer you help so theyll be easier!!” to “GET BETTER AT THIS OR BE FOREVER UNEMPLOYED” and i hate it. i could rant about this.

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

ive just been.....depressed bc of low swing my dude. a big issue would be my entire “i want to do good but i suck” thing, and yesterday i had a really bad dream as stated earlier and it made me extremely anxious for the entire day until i finally talked to my friend about it. theres also the fact i have school but theres no way i can finish it now

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

vet, now im like...im unsure... i wanna get into architech/floor planning/house designing and also be sort of like a youtube/internet idol??? if that makes sense......idk

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

ice cream is one of the only ones i can tolerate haha- i LOVE mochi ice cream but i cant get them fresh here since theres no east asian centric stores here (only southeast/hispanic fusion stores) so rip... ia lso like cheesecake a fair bit

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

kur/o kiryu. or e/nstars in general i guess

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

my breathing gets a bit faster, my chest starts vaguely aching and i get nauseous

😪 what are you sick of?

THE COLD. ITS S O C O L D. PLEASE HELP.

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

nope, not really. i do awful at horror games, im terrified of roller coasters, and the thought of jumping out of a plane makes me wanna decay

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

sh/u it/suki is Bad. the y/oi fandom is made up 80% of really bad fuj/oshi who later hopped onto an extremely controversial manhwa. hea/thens wasnt too bad of a song. i still like mi/necraft/happy tr/ee friends. i like rh/ythm games but dont like rh/ythm heaven. mc/a wasnt awful. ut/apri as an anime isnt too bad but definitely doesnt match up to the games quality in both art and story telling. id/olm@st/er is a tad bit over rated. ens/tars should be localized to ENG.

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

haha nope

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

draw/VERY rarely sew/read tarot, which is what im supposed to be doing anyways

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

uhhh it was either te/mptation magic or love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

how i cant cheer people up or help people be more positive. ir aelly dont know how i can improve it my dude, but im thinking.

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

usually bunnies, but if im feelin crafty ill doodle an anime char

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

age mostly

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

INTP, and idk its just there

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

“the battle: ra*bits” MMMMMMMMM nito. dgmw i love mits/uru and i loved how energetic he was + i liked mitsuru too but ni/to introduced me to ku/ro in my canon and he was very supporting of me/tried his best to help me

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont really have a CELEBRITY celebrity fave but itd def be t/homas sanders internet wise

🐴 opinion on __?

“holds up kiibo”

a good boi. i trust him

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

ehh its actually really hard for me to become emotionally unless im deeply attached to something sooo not really

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

ghost girl, maximum ride, and cr*zy

i dont remember any quotes from the first and last books BUT “WE’RE LIKE FREAKIN BALLERINAS AND YOU ARE LIKE A FRIDGE WITH WINGS” will always be my fave

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

listen to music, isolate myself justtt a tad bit, and try to distract myself. it helps to a certain extent, but it wont save my ass

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

k/uro ki

🌍 which country do you live in?

america

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

a fucking asshole

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“you think youre ugly but youre just not your type” -some tumblr post i cant find atm

💭 do you keep a diary?

i keep a dream journal, but i stopped keeping diaries because im wayyy too paranoid someones gonna snoop

💫 who inspires you?

HMMMM chi/aki morisawa, tho/mas sanders, and j/acksepticeye

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

ye, theres no proof that they DONT exist (although you could argue theres also no evidence that they DO exist), PLUS i have had some experiences with ghosts! also itd be fuckin....awkward if id idnt considering i wanna get into s/pirit work

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

ko/toko ut/sugi is the only way i could describe it. kinda gothic-punk??? i used to be into yum/ekawaii and fa/iry kei but i ended up falling out of them.

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

MMM ri/se of the gua/rdians was pretty good, zo/otopia was also good...the book of life was really good and i wanna watch it again now ahhh

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

idonthaveonemymemorypastsixmonthsisgoneandmychildhoodwasfilledwithmebeinginsulted UHH one time in 6th grade i dated a dude and he gave me a teddybear/candy for valentines day and it was really nice, i felt bad since i didnt get him anything and i feel bad for not even breaking up with him to his face

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

bunny. thats all

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

KURO KI

[jijicreamsdiary]

It’s a usual thing for me to see mothers ranting about their partners not helping them to take care of their children. It’s actually a norm that wives should be responsible for taking good care of the family, most especially, the children. But some husbands forget that they are parents too. As a co-parent, they should also take part in babysitting, playing, and guiding their kids.

I just feel so blessed for having a responsible husband who knows how to be a co-parent. He still manages to take care of our baby though he has a heavy workload to do. I remember the time when I just gave birth to my baby. It was really exhausting to put him to sleep at night but I always got the time to recharge during the day. It is because my husband took charge of everything at home after his work, including the babysitting.

My husband and baby.

My mother always tells me that my husband is more of a mother than me. At first, I felt humiliated but I have to admit that she’s right. I also believe that he is a better parent than me. Here are the five reasons why:

My husband changing our baby’s diaper.

He is experienced. – He has experience in babysitting babies. He learned how to handle newborn babies and change their diapers at a young age. When he was young, his mother always asked him to look after his younger brothers. He also took care of his niece when she was still a baby. I never had that experience when I was young. The first time I carried a baby for more than five minutes was after I gave birth. 😂

He is matured. – He is seven years older than me. Even before we get married, he’s emotionally and mentally ready to have his own family. He perfectly knows his responsibility as a husband and as a father. He knows his priorities well. He’s independent. ❤

My husband putting our baby to sleep.

He is more patient. – He doesn’t get mad easily. He doesn’t shout. I think he never shouted at me for doing something wrong. He can maintain his composure though he’s irritated already. He gets frustrated at times when it’s hard to put our baby to sleep but he has his way to switch his emotion unlike me. When I find it hard to babysit, my frustration shows, and he used to take the job over. 😅

He loves to stay at home. – He is more of a home buddy than me. What’s more, he likes tidying-up. He does most of the housework like sweeping, mopping, washing the dishes, washing the clothes, and cooking. He always loves staying at home to be with us rather than hanging out with his colleagues or friends. ❤

He follows a system. – He always has a system in doing things. He has a system in taking a bath, in changing the diaper, in putting the baby to sleep, in washing clothes, in sweeping, etc. Everything must be organized and systematic. And when you ask him why it should be done that way, he also has answers. 😂

I know that parenting is not a competition and our baby won’t judge us either. It’s just that I really appreciate my husband for making things easier for me. There are still a lot of things that I need to learn and I know that it takes time. God blessed me with the opportunity to be a wife and a mother, and I know that He’ll improve me in the process.

5 Reasons Why I Think My Husband is the Better Parent

It’s a usual thing for me to see mothers ranting about their partners not helping them to take care of their children.

5 Reasons Why I Think My Husband is the Better Parent It's a usual thing for me to see mothers ranting about their partners not helping them to take care of their children.