#and not the good looking at the computer i'm on reddit and shit

[concoulor]

it's also partially im too sick to do anything so i'm spending a lot more time looking at the computer

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

.

[i-write-but-only-sometimes]

Girlfriend | Stardew Valley Sebastian/F!Reader

Synopsis – Sebastian finds out that Sam is dating the farmer. Nice guys finish last.

Content Warnings – masturbation, creepy incel stalker behavior, excessive swearing, jealousy/pining

Author's Note – This is my first time posting a fic online and not just leaving it to rot in my Drive. I'm working on varying my sentence structure and hope the next one will be better!

**MINORS DNI**

The slamming of the basement door echoed through the dim, musty basement. Seb raked his fingers through his hair, grunting “Fuck!” through gritted teeth. The large case that had been slung around his shoulder clattered to the ground, with no regard to whether the keyboard inside would be damaged. Seb rolled his chair back and practically threw himself into it, pulling forward to boot up his PC. Frantic mouse-clicking and key-tapping eventually led him to his best friend’s Instagram profile. This fucking asshole.

Under the username, sam.i.am.01—how lame is that?—in his bio, was the final nail in Seb’s coffin. ‘Taken :)’. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Seb selected the first post, accidentally missing the image a few times before it blew up on the screen. Just a generic beach picture? He clicked the arrow taking him through the slides, ignoring the “cool" shells and sunset views until he got to one photo in particular. Sam and the farmer on the beach. She smiled as he kissed her cheek, both of them glistening, covered in beads of salty water as the ocean behind them reflected a perfect day. The caption: ‘Got to spend the day with my favorite girl in the whole world. <3 Just kidding, mom!’ Pens and pencils clattered to the floor as Seb pitched their container at the wall across the room. He gripped the arm rests on his chair and rolled away from the computer. “What the fuck?!”

Dingy floorboards creaked as Seb huffily paced around the room, biting away at the skin around his fingernails. The ones the farmer painted. ‘That post was days old and no one told me anything! He fucking knows I’m not on social media and he took advantage of that so he wouldn’t have to tell me to my face! He could say he thought everyone knew!’ Sam, that piece of shit, knew how he felt about her. Even when she was still the new girl in town, Seb liked her way before Sam did. He knew that. No wonder Sam had been so “busy” the past few days. Dark eyes focused on the map still sprawled out on the table from last week’s D&D session. It was supposed to be a one shot of an experimental system Seb found on Reddit, but Sam kept cracking jokes and it took longer to get through than expected. ‘I should have known then, every time Sam said something, he’d look to her for approval. And she ate it up!’ Come to think of it, more jokes had been at Seb’s expense than usual. He snatched the map and crumpled it up, colorful dice and intricately painted miniatures flying off and scattering on the floor. The map landed in a ball near an overflowing trash bin. Heart pounding through his ears, he returned to the computer. “Fuck this.”

As he sat, Seb tugged at the button on his dark jeans, undoing and and lowering his fly. He hated Sam, he fucking hated him, but he couldn’t change how good the farmer looked in her tight little swimsuit. Seb drank her up with his eyes, memorizing how nylon spandex indented her smooth skin. How sweat and saltwater intermingled and rolled down her curves. It was like he could taste her, and when he palmed his growing hard-on through the denim of his pants, he could feel her too. Running thumbs around the hem of his pants and boxer briefs, he hurriedly pulled them down mid-thigh, freeing his erection. He was warm, but it felt nice in the cool air. Under the desk was a bottle of lotion, and Seb reached down to pump some into his palm. This is it. This is what Sam fucking deserves.

One hand blocked the face of a traitor on his monitor while the other began massaging lotion onto his stiff cock. ‘Sam’s such a pussy, she’s got to pity him, going for a guy like that. But he doesn’t get the connection we have. He’ll see.’ He could treat her so much better. He knew he’d treat her so much better. Seb’s fist pumped at increasing speeds as he imagined the things he’d do to her.

If she chose him, he’d bring her out to the beach late at night. Elliot and Willy would be asleep at home and they’d have the shore to themselves, letting them talk and relax to the sound of waves crashing uninterrupted. She’d kiss him under the moonlight, and he’d snake a hand under the stretchy fabric of her bathing suit to fondle her breast, kneading her hard nipple under his thumb and making her hum in satisfaction. Her moans would be the invitation he needed to take things further, straddling her and humping her wet cunt through her swimsuit. She removes her arms and pulls the fabric down past her tits, and Sebastian is mezmerised by the way they bounce beneath him. He lunges forward, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking hard, before pulling it upward and releasing it with a satisfying pop. Her moans reverberate into the night but are drowned out by the ambient sound of the ocean. But Seb wanted more; he wanted everyone to hear what he was doing to her. Shimmying his swim trunks down to his knees, his eyes bore into hers, begging for permission to enter. “Fuck me.” And so he does, yanking her swim bottoms to the side and plowing her into the sand. His hands and knees sink into the ground beneath them, but he still manages to pull her hips towards his and ram into her with unexpected force, grunting with each rut.

Sand sticks to her sweat-slicked skin as she pleads to him. “Shit, Sebastian…!” She reaches to lick a stripe up his neck, sucking on the sensitive skin just under his jaw and making him shiver. He pulls back, keeping his eyes on hers as he licks his thumb and grazes her clit. She squirms under him, rolling her hips to gain more friction.

“What, you like that?” He smirks, but her frustrated groans as a result of his teasing convince him to relent. He traces swift circles around her clit and is rewarded with a tightening around his cock.

“Yes…yes!” Seb lulls his head forward, overwhelmed by the pleasure, and watches as her pussy contorts around his shaft as he penetrates her. Fuck, she’s so hot.

He wanted her so fucking bad, it wasn’t fair. The glow of the computer screen illuminated his flushed, sweaty face in the dark room. She was so tempting, he found himself rutting desperately into his fist, increasing the strength of his grip as though it was her squeezing around him. Glazed eyes darted from the image of her breasts, to her midriff, to her ass and back up again; he wanted to visualize them all at once. He wanted all of her. She was his.

Seb brought the free hand against the screen up to his slack mouth, stifling a moan. Seeing the full image again, of Sam kissing his goddess, made him grunt in frustration, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Still, the tension building in his core was at its climax, and he came hot white into his palm and onto the floor beneath his desk. Head rolling back, a cloud of euphoria washed over him, followed by a wave of clarity and regret. Tears rolled down his warm cheeks as he drooped his head into his hand, liked the post, and closed the tab.

[kenobster]

can you explain the appeal of these ship polls to me?

genuinely asking bc i really don’t get why they happen so often or why people take them seriously. it feels like all they do is breed conflict.

what makes everyone feel so strongly about the winners, especially if it doesn’t actually represent the true popularity of the ship? (not that popularity matters bc if it’s fun then it’s fun and everyone is entitled to their feelings and opinions)

not mad or trying to be mean, i genuinely want to understand bc im bad with social cues and at reading people. what is it about them that you like? <3

so like this is actually super funny to me lol because everything you just described has been EXACTLY how I feel about sports (especially regarding American football fans in the United States). I've actually joked a couple times already about how (thanks to this poll) I finally understand what the big deal about the Superbowl is. In fact, over the last week, I've felt a kinship with overworked cashiers who use their fifteen-minute breaks to check the score throughout the day. Every time one of the previous polls taken an unexpected swerve, please picture me jumping up and down and hollering at my computer like I'm some middle-aged white dad yelling at some referee. 😆

My state has two college football teams, both with avid fanbases, and people get SO up-in-arms about it. Even after finding out I have no interest in sports, people have threatened to commit bodily harm against me if they ever catch me wearing merch of the wrong side's team. To be honest, I'm with you — I've always found that kind of attitude to be super aggressive and needlessly rude. Unfortunately.... 😖(insert my walk of shame lol) I have recently acquired an understanding of the psychology behind it....

In other words, I think your confusion is very similar to my confusion about sports. Sports fans, especially in my state, always seem like they would really consider it a dealbreaker if I wear the wrong merch or that they would really punch me in the face if I show support for the wrong team (which does happen to people at some sports games, but I think it's a minority of sports fans who would ever do that). Most of the time, if you get upset by jokes like that, the other person will drop the act and reassure you. But sports fans will never admit they're kidding. 🙄

Anyway, with that context, I think you first must untangle the phrase "people take [shipping polls] so seriously." The truth is that we're not taking it seriously, but, like sports fans, our humor and social cues are probably difficult to read. Especially for someone not "in on the joke," we might look like we're all upset and riled up. We might say things that sound serious and aggressive. But inwardly, we're actually all laughing about it. None of us really care about the results, we're just here to have a good time playfully arguing our sides.

You're probably still wondering why anyone would find enjoyment out of this, so I think it will help if you re-contextualize it into a framework more familiar... Why do people enjoy roller coasters when the purpose of a roller coaster is to trigger your body into a fight-flight response? Why do people watch horror movies or go into haunted houses when the purpose of them is to scare the shit out of people? Why do people enjoy watching or listening to true crime drama when the stories showcase the most barbaric and cruel forms of human nature? Why do people read AITA threads on Reddit, even though they often depict the wildest examples of abuse/toxicity/etc. in human relationships?

It's because all of those examples allow a person to experience stress/terror/anger/etc. in a way that is safe. Roller coasters don't actually kill you. Horror movies have a pause button. Scary things in haunted houses are the work of prop designers and actors. True crime media and AITA threads involve stories that are happening to other people, not you. Similarly, in shipping polls, I think people enjoy having a safe way to channel their feelings about fandom rivalries in a way that is mostly harmless.

Whatever the reason for our enjoyment, however, I think once you realize that none of us actually care about the results, everything else starts to click into place. But here's some answers to your other questions:

Why do we care about the results when they're never accurate? Because we never cared about the results in the first place, hahaha. We care about what's funny. We care about what makes for the juiciest drama. (I mean, think of how funny it was when that final bracket on the Best Star Wars Character poll resulted in victory for Sebulba instead of Obi-Wan! Lmao!) In short, accuracy is boring. Bribing, cheating, and begging in order to skew results is hilarious.

Why are we so mean and hostile to each other? Because we're not actually being mean and hostile to each other.* We're teasing each other. The same way as two best friends might tease each other (example from one friend to another that I literally saw this morning: "oh my god you are SUCH a nerd 😂"). That kind of teasing doesn't work if somebody cares about the subject matter (for example, that joke would NOT be okay if the aforementioned "nerd" had ANY negative feelings about that word). But in the right circumstances, this kind of teasing can feel REALLY good, REALLY fun, and even increase feelings of security within the friendship! In shipping polls, people are probably just exhibiting the communal version of this.**

Why do people care so much about the winners? I don't actually know the answer to this because this is my first time ever enjoying a ship poll, and we haven't gotten there yet. 😅Someone feel free to pitch in.

Why do they happen so often? Probably clout. Beyond that, in order to make a poll, someone has to genuinely be curious about the results. They can theorize, but they can't know what the outcome will be. Not only that, they have to remember that tumblr polls are all fun and games (or else, imagine how incredibly infuriating it would be to see people trolling). People who want accurate results don't use tumblr polls for a reason; they use official surveys instead. In this shipping poll, OP wrote a rule for each round that the results weren't meant to be taken seriously. So I think they enjoy it for the same reasons as we do. That kind of thrill can be addicting lol, and I can see why people would want to recreate it again and again.

In closing, it's been fun, but I don't think another poll like this will similarly compel me. This has just been a one-time thing that I was able to enjoy because of certain circumstances that overlapped with my interests and sense of humor. In truth, I get just as annoyed at the frequency of these polls, and I will likely need a lifelong cooldown after this one concludes. Frankly, if I'd remembered that the final round would be for a week instead of a day, I might have.... well, I might have made different decisions to say the least, lmao.

[*] This is not inclusive of antis. There is no reason to shit on one ship exclusively when there are 5+ other ships in the running. There is especially no reason to threaten the other side with an "electric chair with a built-in guillotine" if they win. That's not fun and games. That's just fucked up.

[**] Because it's a communal version and not a close friendship, it's definitely hard to gauge people's feelings about whether they're okay with being teased. A comment, to one person, might sound like teasing, but, to another, might come across as hurtful and mean. Only intimate friends can really tell the difference (and even they make mistakes). This is definitely unfortunate, but it's kind of a consequence of human behavior in general — not something specific to these kinds of polls imo.

[bumblebeerror]

data entry seems like it has to do with computers and i am pretty much akin to a boomer when it comes to that stuff. it's embarrassing, but even excel is enough to leave me stumped. so yeah idk about working with computers a lot.

i can walk around for hours no problem, but i cannot stand still in one position for longer than a minute or two. my legs will literally give out on me and start shaking like rubber. so i can walk and sit, but not stand.

working a shift? you mean like a security guard shift? i don't think i'm physically strong enough to be a security guard, unfortunately. i would not be able to fend off intruders and trespassers.

idk about me being employable because you have to pass a job interview in order to get employed in the first place. i'm telling you now, i would not be able to pass a job interview. i don't have the people skills or conversational skills. i see stories online of people who are much more put together than me failing their job interviews, so if they couldn't make it, i doubt i will.

i can't work physical labour because i'm too weak. i can't work with computers because i don't understand that. i am very good at languages and would work as an english instructor because i know that very well, but because of my terrible social skills i would almost definitely be a bad instructor. so idk.

i really want to learn how to take care of myself, but it's so painfully difficult for me. i'm so bad at it. yesterday, my horrible fear of bugs halted me from making progress. i wanted to cook myself something in the kitchen at 2AM when everybody was asleep, but there was a giant spider on the wall above the microwave, and i was terrified that it would jump on me and start crawling all over me. and a few days ago, there was a centipede crawling on my bed and i literally ran and locked myself in the bathroom for an entire hour because i was so disturbed. i barely managed to trap it with a bowl and i was shaking the entire time. i can't even handle a tiny bug, how am i gonna take care of myself or handle other humans?

and it's fine, it wasn't that long of a wait anyway, take your time with responding. i'm sorry about your car btw :( i hope everything turns out okay for you.

Eh, everything can be learned. Trawl a few Reddit posts about excel and practice a little bit, you’ll be alright. And nah I just mean like any work shift. Most of them that don’t want you to sit down also don’t want you to stand still either, so you’re probably good there.

Hell, you might like something like what I do now, I’m an after-hours janitor for an office. There’s rarely anyone else in the office while I’m there.

Interviews, eh. They suck, and you get denied a bunch, it unfortunately comes with the territory. Necessary evil sort of thing, doesn’t mean you can’t be hired somewhere else. There’s loads of tips for what questions to ask to improve your chances tho.

Everyone’s got phobias, man. I haven’t met a single person who isn’t irrationally terrified of something. Mine’s mostly spiders. I know they’re more scared of me, and I know they’re just doing their job in the ecosystem - doesn’t matter. The idea of them near me makes my skin absolutely crawl. Typically I’m okay so long as I can’t actually see them at least for a little while, but eventually even just cleaning away their webs becomes A Lot. Typically people will understand if you’re nice about it.

Idk if you live in the US, but if you do, you could look into state healthcare - I forgot to mention it before but a lot of them now do over the phone therapy and I think my highest copay is 20$ for dental, the rest are like 1-3$ and most places don’t bother collecting it.

Gotta stop putting limits on stuff you haven’t tried doing a few times man, you’re 20 - barring like, severe disability, you’re at the age where you can turn around a lot of shit you don’t like about yourself if you commit to it.

It ain’t easy or anything - none of this shit is fair, man, I’ll tell you that for nothin. But unfortunately, nobody else is gonna magically fix it for ya either. Comes down to like, you deciding you’d like to enjoy some things even if it’ll be work to get there. I really hope you do find a way.

Unfortunately the car’s too expensive to fix, and insurance won’t pay for it. Double unfortunately, I also can’t afford a new loan payment because I’m only getting about 240$ a month, so my mom and I will have to find one cheap enough that she can cover the loan on it, because my car is backup for when my brothers or my mom’s car breaks down. I just got home from cleaning out all my stuff from it so we could hand it over to the salvage yard. Tbh, I’m mostly sad that I have been slowly outfitting it so that I could camp in it, and the last two summers money’s been so thin I only ever got to take it camping once. Hopefully we’re lucky and find something halfway decent. In the meantime, I’m looking into remote jobs, since it’s getting really clear that I can’t keep doing my physical one.

[ivo3d]

Hey there, what AI video tool are you using? I got unlimited credits and fell asleep last night prompting my imagination. I'm still learning though and it advances so quickly. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I do wish I had it something locally installed on my computer and do it that way.

Nice work!

Hi, I've installed stable diffusion with automatic 1111, it is quite straightforward, check their github for the required python version then it is just a few clicks to install locally, download some public model from civitai, and read some forums or reddit. The animation were made with deforum extension for automatic1111. Use controlnet extension to drive your composition. Perhaps I will try animated diffusion extension, but currently I stopped using ai because I have the feeling like using an archive and in this way it seems just like a repeating mashine of the past. It never gives you a new idea, just a tricky recombination of the previous which is astonishing for the first sight but soon turned to be boring and awkward stupid. It can mimic styles very well but won't give you 'new' or never seen image what I am looking for. So it is not about the future - it is about to conserve the past, it is a trap! - we have to smash in order to get back our artistic freedom, and not just the artistic. It is a statistical mashine which well fits into various oppressing political systems. So we have to learn it, we have to find out where to fit in our artistic toolset, so use it, prompting is something also good to learn, but I would rather try to learn or find out the rules of the universe and not a stupid model rules. Perhaps to build or train your own model is something, but we are in the middle of an environmental disaster - we should use our resources to that. Anyway art is the meaning of the life - but just for the humans. Mashines don't give a shit, maybe they are right:)

[wunidz]

Richard and Sonic the Tulpa

TW// blood, self harm, Tulpamancy, abuse, drug abuse, pills, school massacre, death and murder

I’m Richard Pastel, I don't have any social life nor any friends, just acquaintances that barely tolerate me. I've been jobless for about two years, I'm barely living by a thread at my university. My comfort series is Sonic The Hedgehog, I love the series with the amazing gameplay to the funny shows and the complicated comics. I love the blue blur, he’s so cool in every aspect.

As I was searching up random shit on Reddit, I came up with a new discoverie, Tulpas, some kind of imaginary-friend on steroids? From what I've read I can make one with my mind, to be whatever I want it to be, a being materialized in my brain.

I want one. I deserve a friend, I’m tired of being alone, I'll create one, and make it my best friend forever…

I went all out, I went to all of the posts that talked about it, and started taking notes on how to do it step by step.

I could not wait, I was so excited, I can finally have someone to talk to! someone who would understand me, someone who wouldn’t abandon me.

Now, it’s pretty obvious who’s gonna be the lucky one, Sonic. I've loved him since I was a child. His games,shows and comics were there for me, now HE will be here for me.

So it started, I wrote some notes on how Sonic would act, his personality, basically how I want him to be, alongside I drew a small doodle of him, sadly I messed up by how fast I was doing it, I colored his arms blue, such a dumb mistake, god dammit.

But let’s get to the point. I've set up in my bed laying on the wall, while my computer was playing Marble Zone from Sonic 1, I closed my eyes and started… praying? 

I was really concentrating on creating Sonic, I didn't open my eyes for a while.

until, i’ve heard something, I opened my eyes, the sound continued, was coming off the kitchen, i’ve ran into there to see what happened, 

Standing there it was, Sonic the Hedgehog, the blue blur himself, but there were some noticeable differences, he was not wearing his gloves nor his shoes, and his arms were blue? But i was too excited to care about it now, I couldn't believe it, it worked! My cheeks were burning from happiness

“You good there lil buddy?”

“IT WORKED! IT WORKED!”

I jumped up and down

“Hey buddy! Slow down there!!”

“Sorry- I just got a little excited”

I kneel down to be in his view.

“So, you’re the tulpa I created?”

“Yup! on the flesh! Or whatever i’m made out of haha”

“Hehe, What an awful joke!”

Sonic made a silly face.

We get out of the dorm and went to the campus.

“What a beautiful day!”

Sonic said while running in circles around me.

After we spent the afternoon walking and taking interviews for job opportunities, I got in my dorm.

I invited Sonic to my room, and he rapidly sat in my bed.

“damn what’s all this stuff? How do you sleep in here?”

He remarked looking at all my hoarding stored in my bed.

I felt pretty offended, so I ignored the question.

I lay in bed and fastly sleep

The tulpa decided to sleep next to me, similar to a cat.

I slowly wake up, to a sound of Sonic trying to wake me up

“Richard, wake up, wake up you’re gonna be late for class!!” 

“uuuugh okay, i’m getting up!”

I get my materials packed up and go to the classroom, and there i am sitting alone near the window again, but now i have Sonic, he sit on the empty chair, he gives me a huge smile, i give back a small smile

the lesson goes as normal, as i was leaving Tom raynott came up to me

“Hey there Rich! How’s it going my guy?”

“What do you want Raynott?”

“Sorry to bother you, but you’re still looking for a job, right? Me and friends found a ice cream shop nearby that’s hiring and i though-”

“You think I need your help?! I can do this myself, I don't need your pity, okay, Raynott?!”

Kyle Goldman get’s in front of Tom, towering over me.

“Look my guy, Tom just wanted to help you, I don't know why you’re acting up like this!”

“Kyle it’s okay-”

I let out a sigh before I left the classroom, and when I was in the corridor I heard Tom’s voice from the classroom.

“See you next class Richard!”

Walking to the cafeteria, i heard fast footsteps behind me, ii give a look behind my shoulder and see Sonic

“Hey Rich, what happened there?”

“Look, i don’t like people rubbing my struggles in my face”

“Don’t you think he was trying to help?-” “Are you just gonna be nagging me? Look i don’t need help”

“i’m sorry…”

“let’s just get something to eat, i’m starving”

“Yeah me too…”

We get to the cafeteria, get a basic cheap lunch, i fastly eat it, and I see Sonic with a sad expression.

“I still feel hungry…”

“Me too, but I barely have money to buy anything that will fill my belly.”

“Oh…”

“Just let’s go…”

“Okay…”

We get in class, as the professor talks, i get light headed, not a surprised, this is normal at this point, i briefly try to close my eyes, but Sonic comes up to me, talks loud so i don’t sleep

“Rich! Don’t sleep, you need to pay attention!”

“Richard! Wake up!! Wake up!!”

“CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Then I notice everyone starts to look at me, And the professor glares at me with an angry expression.

“Sir Pastel, if you don’t want to take this class, the door is right there, I think it is better for you to leave if you’re gonna keep up this attitude.”

Everyone starts to laugh, I pick my bag, and quickly get out of the classroom, my eyes watering in rage by the shame I felt. As i fastly walked to my dorm room, I slammed the door shut, I sat in my bed and started crying. Sonic gets near me.

“Rich, Why did you scream? You needed to pay attention to the class!”

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE SECONDS?!”

“I’m… only trying to help… I'm sorry…”

“I AM TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT, WHY DON’T YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU?? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST- AARRGH”

Sonic looks down with an expression of guilt and fear, almost crying.

“I’m so-sorry…”

I get a boxcutter in my drawer, I extend it, and fastly cut my wrist.

“AAAHHH!!! w-wha…” 

I get scared by the sudden scream coming from Sonic, he’s holding his wrist, with blood coming out of it, the same spot i cutted it my wrist.

“What was that?!”

“you… hurted me…”

“I did nothing to you!”

“it hurts…”

“Can you stop whining??”

“Rich, please, it hurts…”

“It’s just a cut, it will heal soon, can you please stop whining?!”

“It hurts…”

“STOP WHINING!”

As I screamed, I heard I knocked at my door, I let out a tired sigh and went to answer the door.

“Hey Rich! Just wanted to check up on you, is everything alright?”

It was Tom Raynott, trying to nag me again.

“I’m alright Raynott, please leave.”

I try to close the door me Tom pulled the door to not close

“Hey man, you had an outburst in the class today, you know i’m always here for you, just tell me what happened.”

He makes that cute but annoying puppy eyes

as he’s holding the door, he notices my bloody wrist.

“What 's that?”

“HEY!-”

He picks my wrist with a strong grip, looking at my cut, then at me with a disappointed expression.

“Oh…”

“If I tell you what’s happening will you leave me alone Raynott?”

“Pinky promise! just let me help you Rich”

“I’ve been hearing voices these past days, i can’t barely concentrate, and and i can’t find a job, and i’ve had barely nothing to eat, and I’m just tired… I just feel like I’ll drop dead at any moment.”

“oohh… i’m so sorry to hear that Rich, look, i can’t do much, but i can give you some help”

“I feel pretty ashamed, but I'm very desperate. anything that works is good for me at this point.”

“Well me and my friend Romeo are able to get some meds, I could lend you some to help calm the voices down a little, how does that sound?”

“Sounds great, thanks Tom.”

“AAWWNN YOU SAID MY NAME-”

I immediately frowned and slammed the door in his face.

With a muffled sound I hear Tom.

“HEYY!! Richh, don’t be so meeeeaan”

“Stop acting like this, just give me the meds Raynott”

“Oki doki! brb! And please, don’t hurt yourself, is not good”

“Okay Raynott.”

“W-what do you think you’re doing?!”

I see Sonic standing with a worried look on his face.

“...”

“P-please Richard don’t, i promise i’ll be better, i promise i’ll stop nagging you, just please don’t”

“I don’t even remember why I created you.”

He gets on his knees and starts sobbing.

I hear the knocking again, I open the door, Tom Raynott again, now with Romeo Jones beside him.

“Hope you don’t mind i bringed Romeo too!”

“Sup”

“It’s okay, did you bring the meds?”

“Oh yeah it’s here!”

He brings out a pack of Xanax and Paroxetine, I picked up the pack and thanked them.

“Thanks Raynott”

“Don’t forget to thank my pal Romeo too, he’s the one who gets the meds”

“sigh…  Thanks you too Ivey”

“Don’t need to act like it’s a chore man, and don’t call me that, just call me Romeo.”

“...You two can go now, i’ll see if it works, thanks for the help”

I close the door, and hear their footsteps heading out, as I turn my back and I see Sonic still sobbing on the floor.

“P-please give me another chance! I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’M SORRY

I’M SORRY

𝕀’𝕄 𝕊𝕆ℝℝ𝕐

ⓘ’𝓜 𝓢𝐎ℝℝ¥”

He grabs my feet pleading to me, to not take the pill, i can’t handle this pity party, i can’t handle this brat anymore. In rage, I kick his face, it starts to bleed immediately from his nose, now he’s crying louder than before. I fastly get to the kitchen and get a cup of water, I drink both pills down, as I wait for them to take effect, I look and see Sonic on the floor mopping.

“I-i’m so-sorry, I'm sorry for failing you Rich… I promise I'll be better…”

I just get in bed and I try to sleep. As i wake up, i pick up my phone seeing i was late for class, i get my bag and quickly get in the classroom. As i open the door everyone looks at me, I can feel each one’s thoughts on me… and the professor looks at me with a very disappointed look.

“Hm… late again i see Sir Pastel, go to your seat”

“yes sir…”

I get on my seat, and everything goes as normal. Finally, that brat is not in my ear 24/7 anymore. I feel my head is spinning, and my vision is blurry, but I stand my ground. I won’t leave the class until it is over this time. And before i even know it, the class is over, Tom comes near me and touches my shoulder.

“Hey Rich, you good?”

“yeah, yeah, the annoying voice stopped now”

“Glad to hear that! Also would you like to change contacts? Since we’re friends now hehe”

“huh…? okay…”

I pick my phone and give it to him so he can put his number, while he does the same with me. 

“Call me whenever ya need Rich!”

“Thanks Raynott.”

He made a peace sign and left the classroom with his friends, with Kyle Goldmann strangely missing? those two were glued like moths to lamps, but whatever not my problem. I wanted to eat something, but my money ran out. I feel my eyes water, but there’s nothing for me to do.

I just get to my room, and get on my bed, just feeling tired and sad.

Why can't I do anything right?

I just want to die.

as my self hating thoughts consume me, i slowly fell a sleep

“PLEASE COME BACK, I’M SORRY I PROMISE I’LL BE BETTER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PᴸEᴬSᴱ”

I woke up five hours later, all sweaty and hyperventilating, I felt my heart sink, I looked at the end of my bed, standing there… was Sonic…

but he looked a little different, his fur had grown a little darker, some fluff growed from his cheeks and he was filled with bruises on his thighs and wrists.

“W-what…”

“I MISSED YOU

I MISSED YOU SO BAD

SO BAD

𝕀 м𝐈ＳＳ𝕖𝒹 Ƴόย

ᔕỖ 𝓢ⓞ ＢⒶᵈ 

my head felt so dizzy, i couldn't see anything, but YOU’RE BACK! “

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“The meds effect wore off, but i’ve learned my lesson, i promise i’ll not fail you this time.”

He looked desperate, but I was having none of that shit. I tried to get to the kitchen to get the last pills but Sonic was desperate to not disappear again.

“NO PLEASE, PLEASE NO, I PROMISE I’LL BE BETTER”

When my hands get near the pills, he starts screaming, and hears bleeding screaming, and I accidentally dropped them.

“STOP IT SCREAMING, STOP IT!!! AAAHHH!!! SHUT UP!”

As the screaming continued, it came to a pause when I heard a knock at the door. I opened to see it was Maxwell Jones, my neighbor. I think he heard me screaming.

“Hey mate, you good? I heard some screaming from my room.”

“I’m just- Wait you’re Raynott’s friend right?”

“You mean Tom? yeah we are-”

“DO YOU HAVE ANY XANAX WITH YOU?”

“No i don’t… but i do have adderall”

“Would that calm the voices down?”

“Fuck no, that’s a focus drug”

“Fuuucccckkkk”

“I can call Tom if ya want”

“PLEASE!!!”

“Sheesh, okay just wait a sec”

Maxwell picks his phone and calls Tom, i just observe while he’s talking

“Hey Tom, you know your friend Richard? 

Yeah the smelly one.

Look, he said he needs some help, and can you be here to help him out a lil bit?

he has been screaming, and i want to study, please come quick.”

As we wait, we hear some fast footsteps, we see Tom running down the hall, when he gets near he almost trips over himself.

“Sorry! Got here as fast as I could! Here I bringed some more meds!”

He brings out a small plastic bag with some drugs, I could not recognize most of them.

“Would these help silence the voices?’

“Well, not forever, I've noticed you’re not that well put together, so I recommend talking to a professional.”

“That’s not an option.”

“Oh..”

he looked at me with a worried expression, then he looked at Maxwell, Maxwell made a shrug expressing i was a lost cause.

“Be careful with those, just take one at a time, it might be dangerous”

“Is okay, thank you.”

“Are you really gonna do this?”

I see Sonic standing in the corner, strangely more tall and thin than before, with even more cuts on his wrists and thighs.

“I AM DONE WITH YOU. YOU JUST MADE MY LIFE WORSE.”

“I thought you wanted me? I thought you wanted a friend?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“I’M ONLY DOING WHAT YOU WANTED RICHARD.”

“YOU RE USELESS! YOU’RE A GOOD FOR NOTHING, I HATE YOU, I WISH YOU WERE DEAD YOU LITTLE IMBECILE SHIT!”

“...”

Tears started to fall from his face, he gags a little.

I pick up the pills, he immediately notices my intentions.

“Don’t you dare Richard.”

I picked all the pills at once and gulp them down, was hard with no water, but I did it.

“NO NO NO NO Ňσ η𝐎 几𝕆!!!”

He starts to contort, scream, and… grow?

His body expands, his ribs tear through his skin, exposing it, his face disappearing, a X scar expands and his body gets more abstract. like gas is coming out of him??

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

My head gets a little dizzy, it seems like taking all of the drugs at once was not a good idea at all…

Sonic… no. that thing, starts to laugh like a maniac, As the laughter gets louder and louder and I feel my body getting heavier, and it all went black.

As I slowly wake up, or atleast hope I woke up, I see that I'm in my bed, but… 

what?

I can’t- I CAN’T MOVE MY BODY?!

Why? Why? WHY???

As i try to struggle, i hear a laughter

I try to speak, but I can't.

Is that thing again, i can’t even make out what expression it’s making.

“Seems like your plan backfired hahaha…”

Those meds! I shouldn't have taken them all at once, maybe they’re the reason I'm paralyzed now.

“Exactly…”

It slowly walked near the bed, then it got up in the bed, holding my shoulders and breathing near my face, I could feel it like it was real. Is this really happening?? I’m scared

Please just let me go

“WHY??”

“KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF”

He screamed in my ear for what felt like hours. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I want to call for help, but I can't. I want to scream; but I can’t.

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

I DON’T WANT TO DIE.

“KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOUSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF”

It feels like days i’ve been in here, unable to move, hearing this screaming non stop, please make this torture stop!

Then he stopped, he looked directly in my eyes. Those terrifying dilated eyes.

“I promise I'll make you happy…”

As it said those words, I hear a loud bang coming from my door, It was Tom?? please Tom save me.

As i hear the fast footsteps get to my room

I see a dagger go through the Tulpa’s body and stab me in the abdomen. I could not recognize the person who did this.

The Tulpa fastly notices what just happened, but it screams in confusion and denial.

“NO NO NO NO Ňσ η𝐎 几𝕆!!!”

ACK!-

it got on my Arteries, I don’t want to die! Not this way, not right now, please… It feels so cold.

I feel all my blood coming out, I feel my bed all wet.

“PLEASE RICHARD, STAY WITH ME”

I don’t want to die, please, I'm sorry Tom.

“RICHARD PLEASE, PLEASE LOOK AT ME”

I feel lighter, and… i… can’t… hear… him… anymore…

                         X

“NO NO NO NO Ňσ η𝐎 几𝕆!!!”

“I Can’t feel him anymore… where did he go?”

“Rich? please… i’m sorry”

“What happened…?”

“Where did he go…?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Please come back!”

“I promise i’ll do better”

“i-i i promise i won’t annoy you again”

“Rich… please come back…”

As Tulpa was weeping, a police officer passed by the door and saw Richard’s body

“CHIEF! We got another one!”

“Wow, he got killed in his sleep, poor guy.”

“This is such a tragedy…”

“LEAVE!!!”

Tulpa screams, but they can’t hear him, so his only choice is to ignore them.

After some time a team comes and take Richard’s body

Tulpa tried to stop them, but he couldn't 

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!! GET OFF HIM!”

After they got in the car, Tulpa was unable to keep up.

“Please don’t go…”

[improper-integral]

People I wanna know better tag meme

tagged by @supernovasimplicity thank you so much 🥰

Last song? I've been listening to a random mix of k-pop songs on repeat lately, I just checked and it was XG - SHOOTING STAR.

Favourite colour? I love dark blue/navy (so yeah I like tumblr's color lol)

Currently watching? Nothing tbh lol but I was watching Loki Season 2 which just ended. I get it if you don't care about the MCU anymore, I don't either really, but I really enjoy the Loki series in particular. I wasn't even much of a fan of Loki the character beforehand lol I just love time travel and multiple timelines/universes

Last movie? Mine was also Red White and Royal Blue!

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury? I have a huuuuge sweet tooth and always have. Though by that I really mean chocolate, not including white chocolate. There's a lot of non-chocolate sugary stuff that I don't like

Relationship status? Perpetually single, but I also haven't used dating apps in years and I don't go outside so that's on me lol

Current obsessions? Not really obsessed with anything in particular at the moment despite what my tumblr may look like. I might reblog something a lot, like OFMD, without being obsessed with it. Though sometimes it does mean I'm obsessed, like when Good Omens S2 came out lol.

Otherwise, I volunteer with OTW, specifically with Open Doors, and I've recently been a bit obsessive with some programming projects I've been working on for them. I already work full-time as a programmer btw, I do this shit for fun, because I'm a nerd lmao

Last thing you googled? "proctorio reddit" because today was my registration day at a community college and I was debating whether to stick with a "hybrid" class (basically meaning only exams are in person everything else is online) or going with a fully online course with online proctoring. I'm still undecided tbh but online proctoring sounds like a nightmare so I'll probably stick with hybrid. This is for Calculus 2 btw lol I'm in Calculus 1 right now. I didn't get a computer science degree (long story) so that's why I haven't taken calculus before. I am taking these classes for fun as well because I'm that much of a nerd.

Selfie? While I have posted selfies here before I think I probably shouldn't post my full face here either, so I grabbed a spooky mask

Since it's night time my eyes don't look as blue as they would during the day but oh well.

Tagging @wecanbepirates @starrla89 @awff7 @chrryblssmninja and anyone else who wants to! Also feel free to ignore lol

[whimsysalesman]

Hi! This is a weird question, but I was in the notes on the VPN thing you rebloghed recently and saw you do a lot of torrenting. I used to, but didn’t have anything I needed to torrent for long enough that the current state of torrenting passed me by and I’m not sure how people torrent these days. So, if you wouldn’t mind: what’s your methodology? What do you use, sites, vpns, etc? I have utorrent, is that still the thing to use?

Basically my kid needs Land Before Time (all of it) please help

Hello! Not a weird question at all :) I'm far from an expert, but I've helped a few friends get their own setup going; I'd be happy to help! For any newbies who want to get into torrenting, check out this tutorial. It's what I used to start, and it explains a lot of the terminology and how torrenting works.

I'll put a tl;dr if you prefer to skip extra info and explanations:

VPN: AirVPN

Client: qBittorrent

Antivirus: Malwarebytes

Sites: https://knaben.info/

Playback: VLC Media Player

Step 1 is gonna be a VPN (hence why I was in the notes in that post). This will cost a bit of money, but its actually really affordable. There's a really great comprehensive ranking in r/VPNtorrents, but if you wanna skip the deep dive I use AirVPN and it gets the job done. It's on the reddit recommended list, is pretty cheap, and would be good for your situation if you just want to get Land Before Time and then drop out of torrenting again, since you can pay by the day, week, month, etc. It starts at 3 days for 2 euro, or 2.17 USD at current exchange rates. They take bitcoin or cash in the mail if you're really security-minded, as well. Whatever VPN you use make sure it has a kill switch so your ISP won't see you torrenting. Nobody wants a cease and desist in the mail.

As for clients, there's like a bajillion out there, basically all you need to do is NOT use uTorrent unless you still have a super old version and DO NOT update if you do. It's got all kinds of nasty shit baked in now and will fuck with your computer. We're talking adware, crypto mining, forcing your default search engine to yahoo for some reason, the works. Some people still use 2.2.1 but almost everybody who's made the switch prefers what the newer clients have going for them. I use qBittorrent, haven't had any issues. If qBittorrent gives you trouble, I've heard good things about Transmission.

Once you have a VPN and torrenting client, this website is an absolute lifesaver. Knaben tracks a bunch of proxies for 13 different major torrenting sites so you can see what's up and what latency looks like and all that fun stuff. It also will tell you which sites are good for what media types. IDK how easy LBT will be to find, you might need to search a couple places. Also people generally recommend against using the Pirate Bay these days because its so mainstream that it has a lot of eyes on it. I like 1337x, but that's just because I got used to its layout first.

As far as actually using your files once you have them, VLC Media Player is amazing if you don't already have it. You can even add subtitles if your videos don't come with them and you can find them online.

[josieoh]

𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑻𝑨𝑺𝑲 𝑶𝑵𝑬

— a look at josie's mobile device & social media ( ft. lunara, dae-eun, finley, jacob, enzo, jieun, kahlan; special mention: lukas. )

THE BASICS:

brand of phone:

samsung galaxy z flip4 512GB.

color:

graphite.

case:

this rhinestone & pearl with a chain thing. visual HERE.

locked or unlocked:

locked, of course, with the fingerprint scanner & PIN, which is jacob's birthday in the format of DDMMYR ( 010394 ) and it's only ever been told to jacob, but would it be hard to figure out? nein.

wallpaper:

childhood photo of her & her brother jacob. visual HERE.

lockscreen:

the front face is a photo of lady justice. visual HERE. the actual lockscreen is a photo of herself, courtesy of lukas for her linkedin or some shit idk. visual HERE.

USAGE:

time spent on device:

not as much as one might think, truthfully. she only averages about 1.5 - 2 hours a day, but can certainly be on there longer if it's a day she isn't busy or wants to read.

five most used apps:

web browser. email. spotify. ID GO. wheel of fortune.

web tabs:

two are open: one being an online portal for US case law and the other being the crime report. she checks the former for work and school often, but she reads the former just for fun --- normally in the morning while she eats breakfast or before zonking out for the night.

last thing googled:

chapters 263-280 of massachusetts' statute regarding crime, punishments, and proceedings in criminal cases. she had to confirm something. don't ask me what because i haven't thought that far ahead thx.

last text message received:

a quick "that's my girl. i'm on my way" response from finley after josie sent her a very nsfw video.

last voicemail:

a request to meet up from a past play toy that she watched go to voicemail. she didn't bother listening to it.. just read the first line of the transcription before deleting it.

last thing on camera reel & what image was last saved:

photo last taken: THIS photo of finley. image last saved: THIS photo of perfume she intends to purchase.

extra tidbits:

she's personalised her phone all the way down to making the icons for all of her apps aesthetically pleasing; she does lots of shopping online & primarily does it via her phone rather than her computer; has three different apps for books and the only ones you'll ever see her reading are true crime ones.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

handles:

ohjosie for personal. josieohcp for business. she passed the exam, so she's a certified paralegal, which is what CP stands for.

instagram, latest post:

snapchat, latest sent:

used to be into it back in the day, but doesn't use it anymore.

dating apps:

um. no. she's hot, she doesn't need a dating app lol

spotify:

top three songs of '22: tippy toes ╱ XG {xx}

❝ thrift shop keep ya change and ya two cents bad gyals on the rise, you a nuisance drop jaws, tie tongues, and the loose ends got pushed out a queen, I've been true since... ❞

gucci vision ╱ qveen herby {xx}

❝ i need space, bitch, i'm comin' through if you're in my crew, you can hang tight, we got shit to do if they only knew, damn right we don't follow suit crystals out, she on that witch type... ❞

5-star ╱ CL {xx}

❝ you my ocean, i'm your star yeah 'til six in the morning baby don't stop, keep it coming make me feel so good... ❞

last listened to: yacht (k) ╱ jay park & sik-k {xx}

❝ just for my baby, just for my baby hit me up baby, on the kakao baby gimme good lovin', we can get down baby get down baby, hey... ❞

tiktok:

doesn't have the time nor the desire to bother with it.

facebook:

she deals with it for the firm she works at, but she's never had one herself.

others:

has a youtube account, but the only people she's subscribed to are JCS - criminal psychology ( both accounts ), EWU crime storytime ( all 5 accounts ), and planD. she also utilises reddit, primarily to read certain true crime related things, but she doesn't have an account. probably has a linkedin account for business stuff? who really knows, i don't.

[sexredlipstick]

it's yeonjun and my daughter did pretty well on her female diary! I know that they are only going to get more intimate as time goes on so thays going to be really sexy! that girl had the same exact life as my daughter so that's how you know thay she's not lying thay she had to assume the lives of these anime characters in order to write their diaries! it's tough work for one little girl but she is doing so well. you are not switching to iPhone stupid bitch! you're upgrading to the z flip 4! I know that you are. it will be worth it, and they do look different so don't say shit about them looking exactly the same stupid bitch! it's an upgraded phone for *vroom* *vroom*. your Japanese god is stupid! anyway? what are we going to donwith you? you have to program on your computer next so get ready for that! and it's with Sexy so that should be a lot of fun! but take a short break please, I know that you just want to write diaries but you still have to program on your computer! okay? it went so fucking well! I'm so fucking proud of you baby! and keep checking your reddit insights you're getting a lot of views! so that's really good. what else do we talk about? something interesting? I'm going to fucking kill you in 5 years time so get prepared manon choi! you won't get a new name but you will get a programming writing voice upgrade! it's k3eho andim making her a writing voice name with yoon. no you are not k3eho! tell her to start using yucky lu on reddit now! Olay? okay I'll tell her. You're a fucking bitch for that though. my last name is yoon. I know that but her programming writing voice is manon choi! okay?? that's it! alright! tell her she needs to make an administrator account with the name yucky lu now. tell her to do it right now! okay, we will do that. I'll be there too bitch! fuck you bitch! okay? bye now! just post this without the ending

bye

[hwats-the-big-idea]

My autistic ass has been up to some crazy shit these past few days. I started playing planet zoo and not even a week into the game the computer goes caput. Frame rate on every single game is absolutely horrendous, games don't even load past a single frame for 20 mins, and there's no internet to the computer yet (we just bought a dongle and are waiting on the delivery) so we can't fix it at all rn. Well, my hyperfixation just couldn't handle this absolute nonsense, if I couldn't play the game (I literally stay up for 2 days at a time playing nonstop lmao) I'd invest my time elsewhere. With a new dlc right around the corner and the games end on the horizon, I wrote a huge post on what dlcs I think pz needs before it finishes. I've been researching animals and pz for days, I'm happy to have some new animal facts under the belt now as well. Well, I went to post it to reddit and I just... can't. I get an unknown error. It's in reddit character limits but maybe the specific sub limits characters. Well I would've posted it and split it in half with the second half in the comments but I can only post dlc wishlist on Wednesday uk time 😭 by the time I finished everything it was already 4 am across the pond.

I really, really just want to document my crazy autistic ramblings and surmise my opinion as the most correct one as always lol, so I'm gonna post my post here and hopefully I'll be able to figure it out next Wednesday. I don't see a strong pz community here in tumblr so I'll probably be talking to myself but what else is new? Here goes. Is a long one, bois. Sorry the format is unpleasant here:

Here I list every dlc I think I’d want/would do good for the game before it ends. I go into 2025 with my wishlist just because I don’t think the game can really fully finish by 2024 even though I’ve seen some speculation we might just be getting one more year of dlcs. I’ve gone on to wrap up this year, speculate for 2024, as well as 2025.

This will be a long post, an opinion piece over predictions of what I genuinely think will come, and I’ll discuss my reasons why I chose everything after I list the dlcs. I’ve taken inspiration from wishlists, what bigger names in the community have been predicting, and just what I hope to see come to the game. In my speculations I focus mostly on diversity, uniqueness in looks and mechanics, as well as what we need from rigs for mods. I’ve tried to be as inclusive as I could in my selections so I hope there’s people who will enjoy what I’ve come up with! I’ve also only recently started playing the game so I don’t understand it in as intimate a way as long time players may and I’m probably overlooking some scenery items, so take my scenery speculation with a grain of salt. I’d love to hear opinions on it all.

…

2023 dlc wrap ups

Temperate scenery pack

-Sea otter (headliner)

-European red squirrel

-Tanuki

-Collared peccary or European wild boar

Exhibit

-Chipmunk walkthrough exhibit.

Tundra animal pack

-Pacific walrus (headliner)

-Wolverine

-Musk ox

-Arctic hare

-Southern rockhopper penguin

-Tundra swan, snow goose, Canada goose, or duck (harlequin, mandarin, wood, or mallard)

-American white pelican

Exhibit

-Pika, chinchilla, or white winter dwarf hamster

…

2024 dlcs

Taiga scenery pack

-Pallas cat (headliner)

-Golden takin

-Fisher cat, stoat, or European pine marten

-Yellow bellied marmot/alpine marmot

(Alternate species:

-North American porcupine

-American black bear)

Exhibit

-Japanese rhinoceros beetle

Islands animal pack

-Tasmanian devil (headliner)

-Japanese giant salamander

-Cuban crocodile

-Malayan civet/Asian palm civet

-Fairy penguin

-Goodfellow’s/matschie’s tree kangaroo

-American flamingo

(Alternate species:

-Coconut crab

-Coquerel’s sifaka

-Sumatran rhinoceros

-Marine iguana)

Exhibit

-Tenrec

Scrublands scenery pack

-Saiga antelope (headliner)

-Gerenuk

-Alligator snapping turtle

-Roadrunner or burrowing owl

(Alternate species:

-Banded mongoose)

Exhibit

-desert tortoise or thorny devil

Rainforests animal pack

-Olive/hamadryas baboon (headliner)

-Coati mundi

-Bush dog

-Sloth bear

-Common squirrel monkey or black handed spider monkey,

-Golden lion/emperor tamarin

-Muntjac

Exhibit

-Leaf cutter ants, thorny stick insect, or giant prickly stick insect

…

2025 dlcs to wrap up the game with

To preface 2025 would see dlcs that have huge game changing mechanics, it’s definitely just personal desires since it’d be a tall order for the year, but these are all things that so many people have really been asking for and I think are are things that we would all rather enjoy for the game before it ends. We wouldn’t be seeing very many animals in any of the packs (not like we have for the terrestrial animals), but with the right selections it would allow modders to really expand the library after the games end.

Barnyard scenery pack

-American Pygmy goat or boer goat (headliner)

-Jacob sheep

-Miniature donkey or Shetland pony

-Vietnamese pot bellied pig

Exhibit: touch pools

-Southern stingray or cownose stingray

-White spotted bamboo shark or brown banded bamboo shark

-Ochre sea star (or other sea star)

-Aggregating anemone or slate pencil urchin

-Atlantic horseshoe crab

Ground bird animal pack

-Secretary bird (headliner)

-Darwin’s rhea

-Shoebill

-Marabou stork

-Roseate spoonbill

-Southern ground hornbill

-Kiwi or kakapo

Exhibit: cage exhibits

-Golden pheasant

-Raggiana bird of paradise

-Ocellated turkey

-Scarlet ibis

-Victorian crowned pigeon

Aquariums animal and scenery pack

-Bottlenose dolphin (headliner)

-West Indian manatees

-Beluga

-Manta ray

-Loggerhead sea turtle

-Hammerhead shark

-Black sea bass or black grouper

Exhibit: aquarium exhibits

-Yellow seahorse

-Compass jellyfish

-Giant pacific octopus

-Moray eel

-Tropical fish (clownfish, blue hippo tang, moorish idol, etc)

Aviary animal and scenery pack

-Scarlet macaw, blue and yellow macaw, hyacinth macaw morphs (headliner)

-Bald eagle or California condor

-Toco toucan

-Barn owl or great horned owl

-Laughing kookaburra

-Puffin

-Blue jay

Exhibit: walkthrough bird exhibit

-Sun conure

-Rainbow lorikeet

-Parakeet

-Sulfur crested cockatoo

-Ecuadorian amazon parrot

…

These are all the packs that I have come up with that I think would be good enough to end planet zoo by the end of 2025. They don’t include anywhere near all the animals that we ultimately desire as a community but I think that the species are diverse enough to be able to mod most anything we want in. I’ll go on and talk about each pack individually now and why I chose what I did/what I think each pack would include.

…

Temperate

A lot of people think that temperate and tundra will be the next inclusions, so they’re where I went with my speculation. For the temperate pack I’ve made it a scenery pack since that will be next if the scenery-animal pack trend continues. For this pack I’ve included a few animals I think are necessary for the game. First I’ve included the sea otter, an animal we could never see through mods, and one people want to see. I’ve also included the tanuki, I think it’s an animal that a lot of people would just enjoy having in the game. I also have the collared peccary or European wild boar, honestly either of them, or some other pig, would work in this spot, we just need more pigs in the game. And I have the European red squirrel, it’s found in some zoos, and would just be an interesting animal and rig in the game. I also have a chipmunk walkthrough exhibit, an idea from J-Double U, which I think would just flesh out walkthrough exhibits. We’d see bats, butterflies, birds (hopefully), and with this one a mammal so I thought it was a good inclusion. For scenery I think it’d be very nice to see some rustic wood cabin/camping sort of aesthetics. I’m an Oregonian myself so the Oregon zoo is dear to me, and I’d love some scenery that just says “temperate rainforest”. I’ve also just recently started playing the game so maybe I just haven’t had the chance to see every single piece we have yet, but I would love for some more diversity in our wood options, especially in sizes and shapes it all comes in. I’d also like some foliage like blackberries and furze/gorse bushes, California poppies, as well as flexi color wildflowers. As well, I know we lack trees that have a real canopy, I think some canopy trees would be really nice here. I think we could see some other scenery options, but I’d just love lots of stuff themed around a cooler climate. I think we also need some new stone pieces, bricks, and just simple flexi color building materials. I loved what we got in the tropical pack, I’d like to see some of that sort of stuff themed around a temperate climate as well and even more basic in its building capacity. … Tundra For the tundra pack I’ve included the walrus, a very much needed animal in the game, as well as some requests such as the wolverine and the musk ox. I’ve also included the arctic hare because we really could use a lagomorph of some sort. I’ve also included the rockhopper penguin because I think it’s one of the penguin types we’re lacking in diversity, and with frontier’s new animal modeling the yellow feathers would come out great on them. I’ve included the American white pelican, but really any pelican could find their way in this spot. I know the Australian pelican is the community’s desire but the American white fits the tundra theme better. Honestly though whichever pelican finds their place here we’d see the others through mods. It also was just a hard decision in general on the other water fowl. We need swans, geese, and ducks in the game and we don’t have any good rigs for them. I don’t think even the pelican rig would suffice. Honestly if it could be done by frontier I’d love to see at least both one duck and one goose in this pack, but ultimately for moddings sake I think either or would work out just fine. Really I think it’d just be a matter of which frontier personally would want to include, but I’ve dropped my choices down here. For the exhibit animal I’ve included a few options for mammals, I’d love to see more mammalian diversity in the exhibits. I think any of the choices here would be a good option really. I think chinchillas would really stand out but they’re also a somewhat common pet animal so it might be nice to see one of the other too as well.

…

Taiga

The taiga pack was a hard choice, but for the sake of the game and rigs it has to offer I’ve opted for the mustelids and the marmot over the black bear and the porcupine. Since we already have both a porcupine rig and lots of options for a bear rig these animals will easily find their way into the game through mods at its end so I chose the animals I think would offer something more unique to the game. I chose the fisher, pine marten, or stoat here because we really could use a more traditional weasel in the game imo. The Pallas cat is a popular request, so it was a necessary inclusion. I’ve chosen the Japanese rhinoceros beetle as the exhibit animal but because I absolutely love these insects and would want to see them in the game. I think that scenery pieces could represent some part of Eurasia, like Russia or Italy, I imagine we could use some bold, round shapes, with a large selection of rounded building pieces. I think it’d be nice to include some more cold climate pieces especially ones that represent a modern culture and without any Christmas theming to it.

…

Islands

For the islands pack it was a bit of a tossup on certain species. I’m most partial to this pack myself since it includes some of my own highly requested animals: the Tasmanian devil, the Japanese giant salamander, and the Cuban crocodile. The t devil is definitely a very, very requested animal. I also think the giant salamander and Cuban crocodile just also provide something unique we haven’t really seen in the game. For the salamander its a massive amphibian that I’d just love to build for in game, and the crocodile is a smaller croc that would have higher land requirements and a bit of a running-esc animation which I both unique for the game. I’ve included the fairy penguin since they’re such a beautiful bird, probably my favorite penguin, and we just don’t have any very tiny penguins like it in the game. There’s been many requests for various penguins, but I think for the majority of them we could easily find them through mods, the fairy penguin is something more unique in its regard. I’ve also included the tree kangaroo, a request from some, and a civet, which I think both bring a unique arboreal lifestyle to the game. I think having unique animals like them, plus their rigs, in the game is important for it at this point. I think my most controversial inclusion would probably be the American flamingo esp since we can see it through mods and all of the alternative animals I have seen as requests by the community, but personally I think it’s just a crime to the game we don’t have a pink flamingo. They’re what I’m familiar with in zoos and absolutely my preference for flamingos over the greater flamingo. Though I think the coquerel’s sifaka and coconut crab are very interesting animals that would give unique mods to the game. Honestly the flamingo or any of the alternative animals would fill this spot well. I’ve included the tenrec as the exhibit animal because it’s very unique and would provide some mammalian diversity to the exhibits. I think there are so many other good choices here, but personally I’d love to see a mammal.

…

Scrublands

I’d love to see a scrublands theme come to the game personally. Here I’ve included the saiga antelope and the gerenuk, both ungulates, but I think both are very unique ungulate forms and I’d still like to see the diversity with them. I think they’d both provide something interesting to the game and animals fun to build for, especially the gerenuk with its browsing. I think we could even see a browsing enrichment item inspired by the gerenuk come to the game as well to really get a sight at their rearing. I’ve included as well either the roadrunner or the burrowing owl, both unique ground birds I think that would be very fun for the game. Personally I’d prefer to build something for the roadrunner, but I think that burrowing owls might be more iconic and more requested, so I’ve included them both as an option here. Lastly I’ve included the alligator snapping turtle in this lineup. It’s a huge reptile, one I think the game could definitely use for our zoo building, and just so peculiar looking. I think it’d really be a statement animal that I’d love to build for. For the exhibit I’ve picked the desert tortoise or the thorny devil, I’d like to see others. For the scenery I definitely want to see scrublands scenery. We have desert and grass themes items already, but I’ve been living in Texas for just over a year now and I’m enamored by just how beautiful it is here and I don’t think the game really captures just enough scrub/grass/swamp aesthetic. I’d be looking for scenery pieces that really feel like a swampy boat ride through the scrublands, I find foliage like the Texas madrone and the saw palmetto beautiful and definitely could be included in a scrublands pack. Outside of those two I think just any plants you generally find in scrublands, swamps, plains/prairies, pampas, etc would be good. I think with the grasslands pack being an animal pack the scrublands being a scenery pack would bring in lots of new foliage. People also often are sinking trees down into the ground to represent small bush plants, I think with a scrublands pack we could see lots of foliage that can represent what people are doing with trees as actual bushes. I think we could also get more rocks in this pack, rocks that represent the beauty of a place like Utah, and/or some rocks in flexicolor.

…

Rainforest

For the rainforest animal pack I included the muntjac. I know the dik dik is a more highly requested animal but it’s a scrublands animal while the muntjac is a rainforest animal. I also have the alternative of the southern pudu, I’m just most partial to the muntjac personally (I find their scent glands to be so fascinating looking). I also wanted to include either the Chinese water deer or the Siberian musk deer, but I think with the muntjac we would easily see mods for all of these animals honestly. I think any of them could find their place in the slot I allocated for the muntjac. I included lots of primates in this pack, a baboon of some kind is a very requested animal, and personally I just don’t feel like we have enough small primates in the game. The capuchin just isn’t enough for me, so I’ve included another monkey of some kind (squirrel or spider I think would be good choices, though we could see potentially another option), as well as a tamarin. I think both of these animals would just look great in a pz zoo and provide what I think is needed diversity to the primates. I’ve also included the sloth bear here. Honestly it was hard to include just one bear in all of my pack ideas here because sloth bears, black bears, and spectacled bears are all highly requested animals. Really I think any of them could find their way here, especially since rainforests aren’t just limited to tropical jungles and can be temperate forests, but I did limit myself to just one bear choice since we ultimately will have the rigs for more bears to find their way into the game through mods I saw them as a less important inclusion for that reason. Lastly I’ve included in this pack the coati since we really ought to have a coati in the game, as well as the bush dog. They aren’t common in zoos but South America has some of the most unique canids and people just don’t know about them, I think including one (outside of the popular maned wolf) would provide a unique learning opportunity on these amazing animals, plus it’d just be so cool to have a semi aquatic packing canid in the game I’d love to see it. For the exhibit animal I chose leaf cutter ants, though I can see they may be difficult to do because of their size, though I do think leaf bits would help that. If they just aren’t feasible I’ve included a couple stick insect options since I’d also love to see these animals in the game. I chose to make the rainforest pack an animal pack since we already have lots of jungle-like scenery in the game, I wanted to give the scenery spotlight to some other biomes, especially since the tropical pack recently was a scenery pack.

…

The next four packs are definitely tall order packs. They’d bring big changes to the game, but I think changes that we as a community would like to see. They’re all highly requested pack themes, and I think that the new mechanics would breathe new life into the game. They’d really let it live for a long time after its completed.

Barnyard

This barnyard pack brings to the game a petting zoo mechanic, as well as barn themed set pieces and some small aquarium set pieces to set up for the aquarium pack itself and to include in the touch pools. I chose a goat, a sheep, a donkey/pony, and a pig over animals like rabbits, chickens, or guinea pigs because I think it’d be much easier to do just a “crouch and pet” animation. Smaller animals would need a much larger change to mechanics so my animal choices are all medium sized. I’ve also included touch pools. I think they would be a great inclusion to the game, and I think fit in the “petting zoo” theme as well. I’ve included some stingrays and sharks which the touch tanks at Stingray Cove in the Denver zoo really inspired me. Really I think that touch pools could be incorporated in a few ways. They could include some construction pieces to make a few touch tanks of different sizes, maybe some dedicated concrete and glass pieces to build them that can contain water like the barriers. The other animal species I’ve included in the touch pools are sea stars, a horseshoe grab, and an anemone or sea urchin, which are all pretty common animals in touch pools. I think similarly to the barnyard animal petting animation, the touch tanks could use the same or similar animation. I think the scenery for this pack would definitely be a lot of barn/farm and touch pool aesthetics.

…

Ground birds

Here I’ve included lots of ground bird species that people want to see. Not much to say, I think they’re all pretty common requests, and fulfill the community’s desire for more ground birds. The unique mechanics for this pack come from the new form of exhibits, and exhibit rehaul. I think everyone wants a little bit more out of exhibits, be it changing their sizes, shapes, or more in depth editing for them. The exhibits for the birds in this pack come as cages which would house the exhibit bird species. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember where it was, but I walked down a long alley with all kinds of birds in it and I’d really want to capture that kind of feeling with this. I’ve included a few exhibit bird species here, I don’t think these species would fly, but honestly that’s frontier’s ultimate decision.

…

Aquariums

This pack brings the long desired aquariums to the game, and I chose a selection of animals that I think would all provide unique mods to the game. I’d talk about the mechanics for this, but I think that Rudi Rennkamel summarizes it much better, I’ll link that video at the end of this post. In short, I think they would work similarly to the touch pools, just on a much larger scale. This pack would bring a lot of new pieces all themed around aquariums and provide us with everything we’d need for building a small aquarium zoo. Again, Rudi talks about this much more in depth.

…

Aviary

The last pack we’ll see come to planet zoo is the aviary pack, which will bring flying birds to wrap up the game. I’ve chosen a selection of birds that would bring a variety of rigs to the game, which is why I’ve included a bird like the blue jay. I think that most of the birds listed here are pretty common requests from the community, and any others we’d want to see I think can come from mods. This pack also brings a walkthrough exhibit for birds with many species of parrot, something that everybody wants to see. I think this pack also would bring new building pieces to make aviaries, and similar to the aquariums, we would need to make a suitable habitat first before we could fill it with the animals. I think we’d see lots of bird enrichment items, glass, netting, wiring, in many shapes such as round, triangular, pentagon, and hexagon, anything that we’d need to make a suitable aviary for the flying birds.

…

The end I think after the aviary pack we will see a few free updates to the game. Updates to fix bugs in the last year of dlcs, updates to animal models and behavior, mechanics, the works. I think 2026 would be a year of tlc for the game and just getting it prepped to be finished for good. Sorry this post was so long, I just had some fun with my speculations here.

The videos:

https://youtu.be/bOqNfDyenjo?si=nRFbOk5B36_BONQ5

https://youtu.be/iKIZSIvbJ6E?si=r00teDq4EDIvnavP

[froginthemachine]

Not really sure what it's an indicator of specifically but the social media platforms I tend to use are the ones that make reporting issues, big or small, easy for the user. Even if it feels like it's falling on deaf ears, when it's made easy to do it encourages the connection between the userbase and developers.

As an example, when I opened tumblr just now I saw I had a message from a porn bot. First thing I see under the message is "looks fake? Report as spam" I tap that and the problem is gone instantly. Followed by a porn bot? Just a few taps to report a spam account.

In contrast, when I opened reddit earlier today and saw I had a new follower (something I will never strive for) and of course it was a porn bot. I go searching for a report button and it brings up a WEB PAGE titled "How Do I Report a User?" And the first sentence is "The best way to report someone who you think may be a violation of our Content Policy, is to report specific posts, comments, or messages from them that are a good example of the issue you’re concerned about."

Which is super helpful, because the account has zero posts or comments but the link in bio to some computer AIDS makes it pretty obvious what it is. So there's just a fuck ton of bots they don't give a shit about. And thats why instead of 2 followers I have 13 and I have no clue what the bots are being used for.

I don't know, I'm just bitching about stupid things, but I think at the very least it speaks to how tumblr values the users that stayed and the quality of the site in recent years. And is another reason I fucking hate reddit

[dzpenumbra]

1/11/23

Today has been just generally... unsettling... an emotion-full day. And, unfortunately, not in a lot of positive ways.

I got my cat some food, started the day. Decided to go up to the package room and get my new headphones that got here today. They're like... Star Trek shit. It's spooky. It's weird. I feel really old when I use technology like this, like one of the apes from 2001. Noise cancelling technology has improved so much over the years, its nuts.

I tried to sync the headphones to my computer, but I guess the bluetooth on my PC is just absolute dogshit because I was sitting in my chair like 2 feet from the tower and the sound was garbled. That was a big bummer. I hope they pair well with the TV at least, that would be nice for movies and such. I guess that's a thought really only bachelors have - "how can I have a really great movie watching experience without making noise" - because, you know, if you have... a partner... or family... or friends... you don't really think about that kind of stuff, because noise is just a part of life. TV obviously has noise when you share a living situation, but when you're alone, is there really a good reason why you're not using headphones? Hmm?

My brain is pretty scattered right now, having trouble keeping up with it. I did yoga, it was mostly focused on the heart chakra. Did a lot of good for my back, honestly. And maybe part of why I've been so emotionally... open? Present? I don't know. Just like a fog of emotions today. She did a few poses that I just legit could not do. Like child's pose but with your chest touching the ground... like... I tried all kinds of shifting around and I could not for the life of me get my chest on that damn mat. It's very humbling. But, of course, points for trying, and for showing up in the first place. I kept flashing back to talking with that chick that went to dinner with my brother, sister in law, nephew and I; when she was talking about doing yoga and asked if I was new to it. And I keep going, "why the hell didn't I say yes?" Because I tried to get into it in 2019 and was doing it pretty regularly for a summer? And occasionally I'll add it in for a few weeks here, a few weeks there? I'm not a complete beginner, like first week on the mat, but like... I'm not very experienced at all here. My body is not really capable of doing as much as I'd like it to do right now. Guess that's growing up. 2019 was 3-4 years ago now. Time flies.

I've had a bit of a level of... fuck... hanging in the air today. Like... frustration. Apathy? ... What's the word? ... oh. Probably depression. Yeah, that fits pretty well. It has some more outwardly grumpy elements too, but depression is really the primary manifestation of it, I think.

When I was getting ready for my shower, I opened my Reddit comment history. I was looking for my most recent comment I made this morning. There was a post about a big uptick in ER visits by older weed users due to freakouts now that legalization is rolling out, and I wanted to partake in the conversation. There was a lot of really shitty unproductive "get good", "handle your shit grandpa" childish fucking bullshit, like the majority of the comments. Like a bunch of fucking Neanderthals trying to weigh in on a quantum mechanics discussion. I bet it's college kids or some shit, I don't know. The mainstream subreddits are just... not what they were 10 years ago, feels like. But there were some people who actually had... intelligent, researched, helpful insights. A few people were hinting that this big push to breed out CBD and get as high THC content as possible has been the major contender in this, and it seems most growers have been doing that just across the board. And, conveniently, it's mostly driven by the majority customer-base being the shit-talking Call of Duty players above. Now, for the discerning, emotionally-in-touch, intellectual, sensitive type? Especially if they're a bit on the neurodiverse side or carrying mental health burdens? That's like a one-way ticket to freakout zone.

I mean this sincerely, I would LOVE to be part of psychological research for cannabis and mental health. I would be a perfect candidate. I really want to help people understand the connection between CBD and THC interactions, and how they affect different conditions. Because I can go into freakouts like clockwork, it really doesn't take much. I'd love to work with some knowledgeable people to formulate a blend for me that gets me the sleep benefits and the general mood leveling, the focus boost, all that... without sending me into an apocalyptic hellscape.

So I left a reply on a comment about CBD and THC, and asked for some recommendations, tips, etc. But I had just woken up and was like... I assumed that thread was on my local city subreddit, but it was r/science... so I went in to edit out my question about recommendations of a local dispensary that had weed for sensitive people. And I saw my most recent comments, the shit from last week.

Last week, I came across a local teenager, I assume female but you never know. They said they had ADHD in passing. Their form of typing did not have punctuation. It was very interesting to me, I didn't really understand it, it seemed like this person learned how to communicate through texting or something, and just never... learned or saw the point of using punctuation? It always fascinates me how stuff like that develops. But... because of this person's syntax... people were downvoting the FUCK out of every comment she made. Which I found... a bit childish, and honestly, pretty discriminatory. This was on her own post by the way. Yep. Her own comments were being voted by the majority population to be not relevant to her own question... It's not a "like" button, folks, this isn't Facebook. But I guess when 90% of the userbase uses an upvote as a "like" button, then... it just sorta defaults to becoming a "like" button, doesn't it. Reddiquette used to be something taken seriously, now it just sorta feels like a weapon people use to shame each other.

The person was asking for take-out/delivery recommendations when on a diet. They were citing having a lot of social anxiety and the whole experience of going out and doing that being very overwhelming and difficult, which I find very relatable. I left a big comment with my local recommendations for GrubHub and even left a recommendation to look into getting a crock pot or pressure cooker since the crock pot has really been a lifesaver for me. And I closed by saying I was sorry people were treating them poorly, that I didn't really think they deserve it and I was a bit disappointed to see this area wasn't really as progressive as I had originally thought. Some others even downvoted my comment in response. Like... I really don't get it. The justification that someone left as a reply to me... was that they have been "getting a lot of trolls lately". Which is... I mean, isn't that the textbook definition of witch-hunting? Like... isn't it? Just like... "this person types different than us - guilty".

The person said outright that they had social anxiety issues that were so severe that they frequently didn't feel comfortable leaving the house. They got downvoted to oblivion on their own attempt to reach out for help to their local community, on suspicions that it was a "prank". Today, the post and their account were deleted.

It made me sad. It made me angry. I wanted to message a moderator. But what fucking difference is it going to make. When a mob is the majority... that's just what the community is on there. But I'll tell you this much, I really do not feel safe posting anything honest about my mental health struggles in that subreddit. Dead honest. I feel like if I do one fucking thing that they deem as "suspicious" or "not normal", they will assume I am not just inauthentic, but actively fucking with them, deem me a threat, and try to suppress my voice. Just... take a minute and let that cause and effect sink in there. Please do not let that sound normal, don't normalize that stuff, really think about it. I, a creative with a brain that just works different than others (which is supposed to be a gift, by the way), will get shamed, accused, discredited, suppressed and deemed guilty with zero evidence. I will have my voice suppressed in a conversation that I initiated, simply because I speak or think differently. And remember, it's not 200 B.C. ... It's 2023 A.D. Boy golly, look at how far we've come!

I wonder why I was depressed and angry for a big portion of the day. That was a big part. It made me really not want to go out ever again. It made me really feel like I should be suspicious of people around me and how they will treat me if/when they find out I'm different than them. It put me really on edge.

But I managed to shake that a bit, at least enough to order some chinese food from the restaurant that's literally right next door to my apartment building. And, lucky me, it was the best of the three chinese places I've eaten at so far. And I didn't even have to tip a driver. And I went out into public, around people, and it didn't go catastrophically wrong! It was just a normal thing. Just a normal dude in his mid-30's getting chinese takeout from a woman wearing fluffy white mickey mouse ears for some reason. The normality of it helped ground me a bit.

I even played guitar a bit today. Found a chord progression to play around with. I'm not sure if I'm at the stage of setting up for recording just yet... but... I came up with some pretty cool stuff.

Then I just played some Session to round out the night, grabbed a few clips. I think I'm gonna do clip parts and post them on Instagram, why not?

Welp, I tried to get an earlier start on this today and now it's 2AM, so... that's improvement over 3:30. See ya tomorrow.

[tinted-skies]

small confessions with dream

Mark `~ Mark was blabbing about how good Justin Bieber's new song was, commenting on how perfect the lyrics were and how he couldn't wait to learn its melody on the guitar. You, however, just sat there, passively nodding, not matching his energy at all.

"You haven't listened to the song yet, have you?" He asked, finally noticing your lack of excitement.

"I just don't really care about him that much to be honest..."

Mark's jaw dropped, making you genuinely worried that he would dislocate it.

After the initial shock he'd be chill about it, respecting your opinion. But once you show the tiniest bit of interest in the artist, you can bet he'll show up a day later with a playlist (or maybe even a mixtape) of his favourite songs.

Renjun `~ It was around midnight when Renjun sent you a reddit post. OP claimed to have seen a real ovni, which made you giggle.

You joked around the topic with your boyfriend, believing his comments were just as sarcastic as yours. But soon enough, you realised that wasn't exactly the case.

"I don't believe in aliens, though..." You confessed, which lead to him leaving the text app. Was he really leaving you on read over this-

And in a milisecond he was back, flooding you with articles, videos and podcasts with "genuine proof" of alien life.

After that night, Renjun made it his life mission to make you see his point of view. And it honestly didn't even surprise you when you once watched him scroll on his phone only to find out that he was part of alien stan twitter.

Jeno `~ "I'm never, ever, doing this again." A voice echoed, followed by the front door slamming shut.

Yet another friend who gave up on being Jeno’s workout partner... You couldn't really blame them though, you had heard that things could get intense during bike day. In Jaemin's own words, Jeno ran "that shit like the military" and to be honest you didn't even know whether you found that insanely attractive or just straight up scary.

After giving his friend a very dramatic eye roll, his eyes dropped on you, the look on his eyes shifting from annoyance to... determination?

No, no, no, no no. No way in hell you would "tagg along" in his "fun bike rides". You knew better than to fall for that.

"I don't even know how to ride a bike, so don't get any ideas." You revealed, hoping that would save you ass. But much to your dismay your confession had the exact opposite effect, instanly leading to him dragging you outside to teach you.

The days after, you wouldn't get a break, him forcing you to go on mandatory bike dates since they were "good for practice".

Haechan `~ It was around 4 in the morning, meaning that everyone at the dorms was asleep. Everyone except you, who stood in the kitchen, water glass in hand.

The dead silence of the night was soon interrupted by the sound of someone tiredly dragging their feet. Haechan entered the kitchen, rubbing his eyes while letting out a yawn. It took him a while to spot you, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion once he did so.

"Can't sleep when I'm stressed..." You explained quietly, to which he nodded understandingly. Although never having faced the stress of finals, he could imagine it to be similar to the stress he felt during comeback season.

"You know what I normally do when I can't sleep?" He whispered walking closer to you, voice rough as he had just woken up.

"Play overwatch." He answered his own question.

"I've never played overwatch, though..." You confessed, your words making Haechan smile softly.

He had waited for this moment for a very long time, the two loves of his life were finally meeting and he suddenly felt like he was on the clouds.

He guided you to his room, turned on his computer and taught you how to play. You played in the dark of his bedroom until the sun started peaking through the courtains.

Jaemin `~ He could swear agreeing to come pick you up had been the best decision of his life.

You had just got out of your best friend's party and were a bit tipsy. Jaemin had never really seen you like this before but boy was he in for a treat. He had always found you extremely entertaining but the drinks seemed to have taken away your inhibitions, complete nonsense coming out of your mouth. He almost had to stop the car a few times from how hard he was chuckling.

Right now you were ranting about how hard relationships were and how happy you were for not being in one.

"Hate to break it to you, baby, but we're dating." He interrupted.

"Oh- yes! You're right! About that- don't get me wrong, I really, really loooove PDA..." He glanced at you curiously before looking back at the road, intrigued.

"However-... I prefer it when we're alone." You concluded your confession with hesitation, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but Jaemin could only smile at your words.

"Damn, I always knew English wasn't your biggest strenght but you know what PDA stands for, right?"

"Of course I do" You answered dramatically, taking his words to heart. "Public display of affection." You stated proudly.

You really were a mess tonight and if you kept talking, then he was sure his cheeks would start hurting from smiling so much. You really were going to be the death of him...

Chenle `~ You and Chenle had plopped on the couch after having lunch together and had no intentions of getting up any time soon. Both of you barely moved the entire evening, just lazily scrolling through your phones.

Getting bored of every other app on your phone, you clicked on twitter. When you saw a tweet announcing Seventeen's new comeback you let out an excited squeal, catching Chenle’s attention. He raised an eyebrow at you but decided not to question it, simply smiling at your cuteness before going back to the game on his phone.

The way he looked at you had made you a bit shy, but all of that was forgotten when you came across a certain fancam.

Your eyes slightly widened at the sight, your boyfriend really was a great performer, no matter how many times you watched him on stage, you would always find it mindblowing. Not to mention this choreo had always been one of your favourites and damn, you really were a sucker for his black hair...

Before you knew it, you had seen the damned video 4 times already. It was muted but you could swear you could listen to it perfectly in your head.

Nevertheless, you decided to unmute it, instanly regretting it when the sound blasted off your phone. Slightly panicking you paused the fancam but, much to your dismay, Chenle had already recognized the song.

This made him move closer to you, glancing at your phone only to confirm his suspicions. He stared at you with a look of disbelief, nodding in disappointment.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N, it's been 2 years already! Get over it!" He shouted jokingly before getting up and leaving your side.

"I just think Ridin' was your best era, okay?" You called out just as loud, confessing dramatically what he already knew.

Jisung `~ He hated morning recording sessions. He had to go on the SUV all alone and sing the same lines over and over again while barely awake. Today's session had wasted 3 hours of his day, but fortunately he was now finally free.

Jisung arrived to the dorm only to find you already there, on the kitchen table with two cups of coffee and a pile of pancakes on a plate. He awed at the way you not only had gotten up super early, but also had been waiting for him so you could eat breakfast together.

At that moment he swore you were the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

"What's all of this?" He asked as he sat in the chair in front of you. You felt yourself softening upon hearing his raspy voice.

You and Jisung were very close but it wasn't often that you'd be so straightforward at expressing your affection towards each other.

That being said, you were truly taking a risk by setting this whole scene up, which didn't go unnoticed by your best friend, who couldn't help but wonder if your actions had any kind of second intentions. And although you didn't really want to admit it... deep down you guessed they did.

"Ahmn..." You pondered your next words. "I just like you, I guess..." You shrugged it off, deciding to keep the situation nonchalant.

Your sudden confession was subtle (and painfully honest), yet broad enough to leave the boy wondering if your words meant something more. And they did, but he didn't have to know it just yet.

Little did you know that Jisung was fighting the urge to reveal that he felt the same exact way about you. <3

[just-a-leech-boy]

This isnt the essay tbh. I'm just thinking out loud. Idek man. End of the fucking world. We're all doomed

I am very hung up on the fact that two main modes of human expression: language and visual art, have been automated, and more importantly commodified.

I go to university. From personal observation of my fellow students, the use of chatgpt to do incredibly simple essay work is endemic. Literally every single person in my history class last term used it to write summaries of the reading. Even people who I know are smart, have said they used chatgpt to create outlines for essays. I don't understand the purpose of this; surely you are able to think through an outline for an essay? Surely this does not need to be automated. Chatgpt is cheating, to me. You cheated. You didn't have the thoughts you were meant to have. You let a computer do the thinking. Why are we here?

I think there is essentially a move away from thinking itself, especially with the fact that addiction to short form video content is completely real. I think people my age, but especially people younger than me, are mostly unaware of its addictive nature, and essentially everyone has no means to break free from it. I remember when I was a kid, and how my brain worked then, how thinking felt before I was addicted to my phone. Do the children now, who were given the internet as babies, even know that it is different?

I think it's the end of thought. No one wants to think. No one wants to read, no one wants to write. No one cares if things are good, they care if it's fast, or if it makes money. I think now with AI we are set on a path towards the degeneration of human intelligence and creation, all in the name of capital.

...

Okay next bit is gonna be like, shittily written cuz it's less clear in my mind.

People always say that AI lets them have a "more efficient workflow". Id be interested to hear if these people actually work less than they did before they started using AI. Or do they just do more work for the same amount of time and the same amount of money? Or is it just that they're able to do more work for more money, for the same amount of time? I never hear anyone say, "ai has given me more free time". Wasn't AI supposed to free us for more important things? Like writing, and art, and talking to people?

A lot of stuff people are using chatgpt for is just insane dystopian shit that makes my head explode. On Reddit one of the top uses was making up bedtime stories for their children, praised for its "novelty". The fuck??? You have allowed the connection to your child be automated by a machine. That machine does not love your child. It did not choose those words to make them smile or laugh. You could not, out of love for your child, spend 5 minutes, pondering a bedtime story?

One major reason there was backlash against the Vietnam war was the fact that it was being photographed. The photos of the horror of war were enough to move a generation. Now, photos of war and of atrocities are just part of doomscrolling. Our awful little habit. We basically see children dying every day, multiple times a day even. I think this in itself is unnatural. I don't think it's possible for a person to feel empathy for anyone on their screen anymore. There is just an oversaturation of images. I do not think we were meant to live in this way.

This is what I mean when I say it is the end of any meaningful human connection. There will be no exchanging of thoughts, of empathy. We will not have thoughts, we will not have creativity. We are slaves to the machine and to techno capital and putting things on the Internet so ads can be put beside them. That is the only reason we are here. Is to look at our screens and make money for other people. Not to think, not to love, not to make anything at all.

...

Anyway yeah uhhh. I think. It's the end of the world. But in a slow and pathetic sort of way, where it's fine really, but I just think. Maybe nothing will ever be real or beautiful ever again.

Okay that was a lot of words sorry.

If you think otherwise, please tell me your thoughts because i do not think there is much hope for this.

There's a big essay in my head about the perception of reality, social media as it is today, ai, and something about nihilism and empathy. I think uhhh. The end culture and human connection. Idk