#and not stuff that is interesting just weird boring sad stuff that just bums people out i think i will truly transcend into the galactic co

[cheeseandbretboy]

who knew not fixating on self harm and starving would give me a personality this is like the first time in my life i have gotten a personality and i didnt even realise it small habits build up and i have a whole cottage with little shelves full of my ideas and maybe i cant hoard absolutely all the media and knowledge possible but that cottage exists and anytime i like i can go in and choose an old bound book or framed piece of art or absolutely anything and admire it and its there it really is guys trust me maybe this is what sherlock bbc (2010) meant by a mind palace it doesnt have to be for useful things but just things i think about like how sad my mother makes me sometimes and how much i want to pet a fluffy cow and thats enough and im happy and what interesting intelligent people i have around me and the access to resources i have and leisure i finally have something beautiful and flowing and airy and unending and swirly and different to live for and i get why most people live this way because its great, youre not constantly wallowing in self pity or hatred against others but just observing the world around u and just getting some stuff done its amazing and the fact i would give it up for something that i cant even explain a reason for is baffling and idiotic i know it is because i have the chance to do even better and feel even better with it but i keep thinking about what an idiot i used to be and i love myself for that i love that i was able to experience it because i think i was destined for it with my mother and innate feelings and im glad i got it over and done with but turns out when somethings a bit wrong you cant just get done with it and it might come back and i dont want it to but i keep thinking and god i felt unstoppable and so bratty because i wasnt focused on living at all and i would tell people that i told them i didnt care about now i care when im 18 and have the rights to make myself happy with both my home and body because i couldnt possibly live while being unhappy like that but turns out it was too long for me to handle and im actually trying to live now i mean thats why i only did well in school because that would matter anything else didnt matter so i did stupid stuff i still have the journals and im still journalling and omg i realised today is the day i started cutting a few years ago and maybe thats a good day to think about the past i would go to getting sober/clean apps and websites with no intention of stopping and i just had no aura wasnt skibidi rotting in my gooncave ok im stopping,... maybe with the emergence of brainrot i really havent gotten better since then i love talking about myself in the past because everything felt present right now im looking back or forward but when im doing shit and going crazy thats when everything feels real when i would collapse on roads at midnight and lay there looking up at the few stars and calling my friend who was cutting himself every third day and attempting every month or so but i had no care for him not really and i look back and i want to kill myself for acting like that because he came back from attempting and my other friend was in tears and the whole time i had this vacant expression and was so casual i was just so out of it nothing was real why am i contradicting myself sm hold up that does nawt sound right but anyways i can listen to some music i can flip through the journals i can look at my scars and it all floods back to me and i have this unexplainable urge to do it all again but worse because im nothing without that but i realise i do have something now i just cant recognise it and what a dull topic to talk about guys ive got to get back to my room all my things are there like maos and basil plants and journals and my broken fan (i am glad to be away from that, i pray each night that it doesnt fall on me and slice me into pieces because it will someday) and my cds and dvds AND M Y H A R D D R I V E and my bed and my frying pan and see sometimes i think about how weird it is that ive had to hide stuff from everyone

[translucio]

more veilguard thoughts! minor spoilers below cut

stuff im liking:

still having fun with combat

level design has been good, tons to explore, solid puzzles. beautiful environments. im liking how distinct and lived in the big cities are feeling.

i am liking lucanis more than i expected.....i know Everyone is simping over him but.. i might have to as well and romance him instead of bellara 🙈

im liking how bite sized the codex entries are. makes it easy to read them all on pickup whereas in inquisition sometimes it was like godddd i want the lore but i dont wanna read five pages right now

petting cats and dogs! i love the haptic purring, that's a really good way to do it (i would honestly love to see that polished even further with variations + meowing/whining/sniffing/licking sounds thru the controller but hey, it's a tiny part of the game and what they have is fine)

the resource economy is feeling pretty decent to me, im motivated to seek out collectables, i buy stuff from vendors often, i understand the upgrade system enough to inform my decisions. it feels very god of war or ghost of tsushima. so my only worry is that i might just get bored of it after many hours as i did in those games (which, i think the solution to that is for the level design to keep things interesting and satisfying enough that theyre rewarding even without the collectibles. so we'll see)

stuff im not really liking

overall plot so far feels Just Okay. but i felt that way about 2 and inquisition too lol

it is actually starting to really bum me out that you can't talk to people at will. like, the lack of dialogue choices in it, for a bioware game, is troubling to me. these settings and characters are interesting and filling me with many questions! i want to be able to dive deeper into them, but i just cant. you just get barks for all the world npcs. and the lack of choices really makes rook feel more like a prewritten/predestined character rather than one that's really yours to characterize. i realize it's a lot of writing and voice acting $$ to have that many dialogues, but that's one of the main selling points for bioware games for me... and it feels weird that other games are now doing it better than dragon age.

similarly the lack of continuity of choices from previous games makes me sad.

i still haven't gotten all that far, but i am several hours in at this point, and i gotta say i am kinda missing side quests a bit... related to the point about lacking world dialogue, but the world is feeling a little bit underwhelming in terms of the character and lore context/depth that i find myself wanting. which was a big problem for me in inquisition as well. like sure, there are collectables and hidden paths and puzzles to navigate through, and those are absolutely a huge improvement over inquisition's. but those don't give life and flavor and narrative depth to the environment the way that having meaningful interactions with npcs does. the barks are nice, but they leave me wanting significantly more in terms of interaction and depth.

im gonna keep comparing it to god of war (2018 - haven't played ragnarok yet) since that's really the closest thing its reminding me of. and while i loved god of war, i did feel like its world was very lonely. it made up for it with its extremely honed in narrative focus on the journey of the two established characters, and the quality of its writing and voice acting both for their dialogues and the few quests with other characters. it's not a game about the setting or how it shapes the characters that live there, it's about a grieving father and son who happen to be gods.

whereas dragon age IS about its world almost as much as it is about its characters. and with such a rich setting with three prior entries to build on, it seems kind of a shame to let players explore all these places we've heard about but not meaningfully interact with the characters there outside of Big Epic Story Moments or companion-focused quests, especially when you could in the previous games.

anyway.... much to think about... still enjoying it, still have more thoughts as i keep playing

[justkeeptrekkin]

Hi M anon!! I’m so sorry this took me so long. I’ve played around with the idea a bit, hope you don’t mind. Tagging @a-shipping-life who requested something similar. Enjoy!!

***

“This is....”

Crowley’s voice trails off as he views his surroundings. When he’d imagined post-armageddon, he had always thought of fire and brimstone. Or, depending on how the war ended, sickening rounds of celestial harmonies, on repeat- listening to it all from behind bars in a pit. Instead, three years into the Third Testament, the New Era, the Age of Satan’s Spawn, and Crowley’s attending children’s birthday parties. Apparently.

The back garden of the Young family household is perfect for a party- according to Azirphale. A nice little closed off area, with some nice bunting and nice cake and a nice view of the Cotswolds rolling in the distance. Kids and family friends, together, having a nice time. All a bit too nice for Crowley’s taste, who’d preferred the bratty parties Warlock’d had, with nasty children and inappropriately dangerous presents (Nanny Ashtoreth had been the one to anonymously give Warlock a bow and arrow set).

Crowley takes his stand beside Aziraphale, wincing at the ensuing fourteenth birthday party. He needs a shot of insulin with how sweet this event is. He eventually manages: “This is. Ugh.”

“It is not ugh,” Aziraphale tuts, rolls his eyes. “Birthdays are nice.”

“Exactly. Nice is ugh.”

Aziraphale casts him a reprimanding glance, but a smile is pulling at the corners of his lips. He looks Crowley up and down judgmentally and passes him a plastic cup. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Punch.”

“I’m assuming not the alcoholic variety.”

“It’s a fourteenth birthday party, Crowley.”

“What? The Youngs could be more progressive than you think. What harm did a bit of vodka do a teenager. Do teenagers not drink nowadays? I find it hard to keep track.”

“Not till his sixteenth,” Aziraphale says. Eyes scanning the party with as much wariness as Crowley’s had. Adults eating cake from paper plates, teenagers sitting on the grass and sulking at how lame this is.

“I can- I can almost guarantee that lot will have had a cheeky WKD before sixteen,” Crowley mutters into the plastic cup of punch.

Their gazes find The Them, who are sat on the garden bench and on the grass, conspiring amongst themselves. And Crowley thinks that whilst a couple of them aren’t really that badly behaved, Adam has a mischievous streak about him, and the others follow suit. The Youngs are probably struggling to keep up with their teenage son. But then, better the little devil use his powers to make a fake ID to grab a six pack of Strongbow from the corner shop, than to destroy the world.

Just as he’s considering this, the four of them look up at Aziraphale and Crowley. As if they’ve been talking about them.

Crowley sighs, peering at them over the rim of his glasses. “Yep. That lot are trouble makers.”

“It- are they talking about us?”

“Looks like.”

Aziraphale pouts his lips. “Teenagers.”

For a moment, they simply stand at the periphery of the party and survey. Newt and Anathema are here, who they could probably hold some awkward conversation with (“So… world didn’t end then.” “Apparently.”), however, they’re currently occupied by some of the guests from the village. And there’s a lot of other people who’ve been invited by Mr and Mrs Young who seem to be here for their benefit rather than Adam’s.

“Why are we here again?” Crowley whines.

“Because we’re his godparents.”

Crowley wrinkles his nose, peers down at the red juice that’s calling itself punch and doesn’t have nearly enough rum in it. “Not officially.”

“You were the one who assigned us that term, remember?” Aziraphale prompts.

“Suppose.” Then, because he’s feeling brave. And he gets these bouts of bravery when he’s in Tadfield. “How’s about after this we find the nearest pub and pissed. You can crash at mine afterwards.”

There’s a moment when he looks like he’s going to argue, twisting his lips primly and casting fleeting glances at Crowley. All coy. Crowley loves every daft bit of him. “Yes. That does sound good.”

“We can wash down the niceness of this pa- uh-oh. Here they come.”

Aziraphale picks up the slice of cake that he’d laid on the table behind him. A forkful hovering just in front of his mouth. “Sorry?”

“Teenagers, twelve o’clock.”

Aziraphale reluctantly lowers the fork, puts it down on the paper plate and surveys The Approaching Them. Adam at the front. And then the others disperse- going inside to do something more interesting, Crowley supposes. Now, with just Adam, it feels less like they’re about to be ambushed. The boy looks at them with that quietly expectant look he has, and has had since he was eleven when they first met. Though he’s a few inches taller than he used to be.

Dog trots by Adam’s side, and looks up at Aziraphale, pleading silently. Aziraphale brings the plate of cake closer to his chest and narrows his eyes at Dog.

“Thanks for coming,” Adam says, though he doesn’t look massively excited.

“Are you having a nice time?” Aziraphale asks pleasantly.

Adam shrugs. “Not really. Mum and dad invited all their friends and none of mine. Apart from you two, and Anathema and Newt. And obviously Pepper and people. It would be a lot nicer if there weren’t all these annoying old people, too.”

Crowley nods in grim understanding, curls his lips in disregard for said old people.

“Oh,” is Aziraphale’s reply. Then, smile wavering, “Well, it’s nice to see at least that there are people here who care about you, no?”

“They don’t even really know me,” Adam shrugs. “They aren’t here for my birthday. They’re here for the free cake and to boast about their lovely little middle class lives. It’s the perfect opportunity for bourgeoisie posturing under the guise of a birthday party- it’s actually really shallow.”

So this is teenaged Adam. And no less, Adam as a teenager being influenced by Anathema. Aziraphale looks a bit lost for words, but Crowley’s grinning like a loon.

“Well said,” he drawls through his smirk. “Any good presents?”

“Got a Nintendo Switch.”

“Very good,” Crowley replies seriously.

“Anyway,” Adam sighs, “The others have gone inside to find lactose free snacks. I should go help.Brian’s lactose intolerant now.”

“Oh, what a shame,” Aziraphale says sincerely.

“See you later.”

Adam traipses inside, and Dog follows chirpily. Aziraphale and Crowley watch them disappear.

“He’s going to be…” Aziraphale shakes his head, exhales through pursed lips.

“Ball-buster, that one.”

“Yes.”

Some very nondescript music plays distantly. It looks as if Mr Young is attempting to hook up his phone to bluetooth speakers and is struggling, crouching on all fours to inspect the wiring. There isn’t any wiring, is the problem. It’s a wireless speaker system. But that doesn’t seem to have occurred to Mr Young- bum in the air and face buried in Apple technology.

“Oh- oh bother. Why am I like this?”

Crowley turns to see Aziraphale has dropped cake down his waistcoat. He’s holding out the offending plate of cake and frowning at the mess- multi-coloured frosting and sprinkles everywhere. Dog is absolutely delighted, eating the scraps by Aziraphale’s feet.

Aziraphale gives Crowley his sad, cherub eyes. Crowley looks back, pouts his bottom lip. Oh, diddums.

“Would you…?” Aziraphale asks. Looking at him through his lashes.

He gives it a long moment- gives Aziraphale a few seconds to enjoy himself, gives Aziraphale the impression that he needs to work to convince Crowley. He doesn’t.

Crowley snaps his fingers, cake gone. More than that, he turns to fetch him another slice.

And he makes that little flustered smile. The one that makes Crowley putty in his stupid angelic hands. “Oh, thank you.”

“Alright, alright,” Crowley waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder as he goes to get more cake.

There’s the cake- half of it left, at least eight slices. There’s the stack of paper plates. He looks up- no one around. He takes a slice as quickly as he can, not wanting to be cornered by any of the horrifically boring guests.

Then:

“Can I ask you a question?”

Crowley spins round to find Adam. Oh, that’s fine. Adam’s not a boring octogenarian. “Questions? Love questions. Shoot.”

“None of the others believe me,” Adam starts, hands in his pockets, expression as cool and collected as ever. “I’m pretty convinced, but it seems rude to tell them I know when I haven’t even asked.”

“Asked what?”

He’s busying himself with cutting a slice of cake, paying attention but not feeling the need to give Adam his undivided attention. That is until:

“You two are married. Aren’t you?”

A perfect slice of cake had been balanced on the knife in Crowley’s hand. And then Adam had said that. So now, he’s got a perfect slice of cake splattered all over the table. And Adam’s got a speechless demon, steaming from the ears. Literally, steaming from the ears.

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-”

“So,” Adam’s eyes widen a little, and he nods slowly. “You’re… not. Married.”

“I’m- you’re- what? Who- why’re- listen,” he says, pointing a paper plate at the son of Satan, “You have no- what did- did he? Where did-”

This could take forever, and they both know it. Crowley’s mouth is a broken record. His brain has disconnected itself entirely from the rest of his body. For a demon who can speak multiple languages, who can speak tongues, he can’t for the life of him speak any of them well. Thus, Adam makes the executive decision of saving him from this never-ending, hellish loop of inarticulacy.

“Sorry for making it weird,” he says, not looking that sorry, “The two of you are just so obviously in love, I figured you guys were married. And gay marriage was only legalised recently, cause, like, homophobia and stuff. So I figured that you didn’t have rings because- are you OK? There’s smoke.”

“What?”

“There’s smoke. Coming from your head.”

Right, so he’s progressed straight from steaming from the ears to smoking. Fantastic, perfect, excellent. It’s probably from the speed that his thoughts are spinning; his brain going so fast, so out of control that it’s generated enough mental friction to cause a fire. Thoughts like-

-me and Aziraphale married a wedding what would we wear where would we live would we live together perhaps we’d have a garden and I could cook for him and he could knit me socks like the socks he gave me for Christmas two years ago and oh holy fuck is it that obvious that I love him does he realise does Aziraphale know does he love me back he loves me he loves me not he loves me he loves me not he loves me-

-OK, he can smell the smoke now. Just wonderful.

Then, from across the garden, Crowley hears Aziraphale exclaim: “Married?”

Pepper is staring at him like he’s an idiot. Aziraphale’s staring back at her like he’s gone catatonic. Holding an empty paper plate. Mouth hanging open. Eyes widening slowly, like the THX theme music should be playing in the background.

And then Aziraphale’s head snaps round to look at Crowley. Looking, as far as he can tell, absolutely mortified.

Crowley stares back.

Adam stares.

Pepper stares.

Crowley puts down the cake knife and takes a deep, nerve-steadying breath. Because whilst the world hadn’t really ended three years ago, it feels a bit like it has now.

Time to face the music, he thinks.

***

Part two possibly will be written if people want one...

[purplesurveys]

1125

survey by nadine07

[..Introductions..]

First Name: Robyn.

Middle Name: I don’t think I’ve shared it on here and I doubt I will.

Last Name: Not providing it either but it starts with a C.

Birthdate: April 21st.

[..First Things First..]

What was the first thing you did after you got up? I rushed to the rooftop so that I could see the sunrise. I also got in the random mood to do a time-lapse of it, but the sun took forrrrrrrr-freaking-ever to come up entirely. I was holding up my phone for like 15 minutes and nothing was happening, so I quit halfway through lol.

What was the name of your first pet? Goldie, because it was a goldfish.

Who was your first big crush? Gabie, I would say.

Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? Chelsea’s 18th birthday dinner was scheduled right after I happened to get my license, and the event took place in a small, quaint little restaurant in Marikina. 

There’s a bit of a funny story here, too – Aaron needed a ride to get there and so I offered to drive him. I picked him up and we were having small talk in the car, and he asked me how long I’ve been driving. I told him that moment was my literal first time driving out and that I just got my license the day before, and he is my first-ever passenger (at that point I’ve never even tried driving solo yet). The horror and immediate distrust on his face was something I will never forget HAHAHA. We got to the place unharmed, but it’s still one of my favorite stories to tell.

Who was your very first friend? It was a kind girl named Kaye back in kindergarten. We were always next to each other in our class lists, so it was inevitable for us to befriend one another. She transferred schools in first grade and I have not seen nor heard from her since.

What was the first thing you ate today? I had another bag of salted egg chips. I’m extremely hooked, lmao.

What was your first job? I work as an associate at a PR agency.

[..Colors..]

Name something red in the room you are in: We have an unopened bottle of wine here on the dining table and there’s still a red ribbon wrapped around it.

Is orange one of your school's team colors? No, neither of my schools had orange as one of its colors.

How many yellow shirts do you own? I can think of 5 tops hanging out in my wardrobe at the moment. Two of them are class shirts from high school; the others were tops I bought when I started getting into mustard yellow.

Name someone you know who drives a green car: I believe Angel, a classmate from high school who also studies in UP, also drives a Mitsubishi Mirage, albeit a lime green one.

Is it a blue sky outside right now? Yes for the most part, but the sun is setting soon so the sky is bound to change into many pretty colors as it usually does at this time of the day.

What is the first thing that pops into your head when I say 'purple'? Barney the dinosaur, and ube.

Are the walls in the room you're in white? Yes, all our walls indoors are white.

Does black make you think of depressing things? Not always, but if used specifically in that context, it definitely helps boosts the mood.

Jewelry: gold or silver? Silverrr, always.

[..Phone Stuff..]

Who is your provider? Nothing you would be familiar with, but I use Globe.

How long have you had your current phone? It’ll be three years this year. It would be nice to upgrade, but I’m also still happy with my current phone so it doesn’t really matter to me.

What did your last text say? The last one that came through that didn’t come from my mobile services provider was from someone in the media. It was his birthday last Friday and I messaged him if he’d like to receive a gift from us, on behalf of one of our clients; he just replied with his confirmation and details.

If you woke up naked next to the last person to call, would it be awkward? Yep and I’d feel like throwing up almost immediately.

Was your last missed call male or female? It was from my mom.

Who is your 10th phone contact? It’s from Jum, who I realize is still listed as Ate Jum on my phone. That’s cute hahaha; I must have gotten her number when we weren’t super close yet. Anyway, she’s been super MIA for like the last two years...basically, ever since she graduated. I believe she has also since moved back to Bicol, so it’s become virtually impossible to see her again. Bums me out and I look forward to the day we somehow end up in the same room once again.

How did you meet them? I met her in my very first journalism major class. I had mixed feelings towards her at first since I found her to be super loud in class, and I initially thought she would only be a one-time classmate and nothing more; but I got to know her more and we even ended up as orgmates, and it turns out she is literally the most hilarious person I know.

Are you related to your 17th phone contact? I have absolutely no clue who it is. I no longer remember what led to it, but Gabie and I swapped the SIM cards in our phones at one point, and for some reason it made me have access to her contacts; the 17th contact on my phone is someone from her list. And since I never hang out in my Contacts app, I’ve never gotten around to deleting those extra numbers I received.

How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Around 6th or 7th grade. I can’t remember the exact grade level she transferred to my school as a new student.

When was the last time you saw them? It’s been at least a year. I remember seeing her on campus very briefly when I was on my way to a certain building for class, while she was walking out of it.

Who is your 4th phone contact? LMAO, again, it’s from her contact list. Said person is one of her older cousins, I believe.

Have you ever kissed that person? No, and that is very weird and uncomfortable to think about.

When was the last time someone drunk dialed/texted/left a voicemail? Andi drunk messaged me a few months ago. November, I think.

[..Friends..]

Who is your #1? No Myspace but I’d say my top best friend is Angela.

How long have you known them? It will be 16 years this year.

Have you ever kissed? Oh my gosh, hell no. It would be like kissing a sister haha. She’s super affectionate and will sometimes kiss my shoulder or cheek, though.

Are you dating this person? No, never did and never desired to.

Do you have nicknames for each other? Not really exclusive to each other, but I call her Anj (and only a few people call her so) and she will occasionally call me Reben or Rolayn, both from past inside jokes.

What is your #2's full name? I am not sharing that, but I refer to them as Andi (you may remember them as Andrew from the past times I’ve mentioned them).

Do they live within 20 minutes of you? If there is zero traffic, I can probably make it to their place within that timeframe, yeah. But realistically, no they don’t.

How did you meet? We initially met in an anti-Marcos protest/rally – I approached they first because they had a wrestling shirt on, heheh – and that’s when I learned we were from the same college. But they rubbed me off the wrong way from our first meeting as they were too extroverted for my liking, and I spent a good chunk of time ignoring him whenever we crossed paths, lmfao. Eventually we were put in the same class at some point, and they even joined my org, and an intensely close friendship started from there.

Could you live with this person? Sure. I think they would never be a boring roommate.

Who is your #3? I’m gonna go with Kate for this one.

Where are they right now? I have no idea. We don’t really catch up with each other’s lives on a regular basis; we have a very chill, low-maintenance friendship.

When is this person's birthday? January 1st.

Has this person ever seen you naked? I don’t think so.

What is your #4's full name? I don’t think I have a 4th-tier best friend haha, but I’m gonna pick Tina.

When did you last see them? Last year, on the last normal day I was able to be on campus. She was set to present one of her projects at a journalism conference that was taking place in campus that day, but I was able to hang out with her for a short time before the event.

Have they ever dated one of your other friends? No. I knew she had a crush on someone from the college, though.

Do you know their favorite movie? I’m not sure about her favorite movie but I do know she loves Adam Sandler. I was never able to figure out if her interest was ironic or genuine but yeah, she enjoys a good number of his works.

[..Randomosity..]

What time is it? 6:20 PM.

Are you supposed to be doing something other than this? I wouldn’t say so. I do have deliverables for work but since it’s the weekend, I’m not thinking about them nor do I have the desire to touch those tasks until Monday.

Do you live on your own or with your parents? I live with my family. Considering my monthly income, it’d be close to impossible to sustain myself in my own place this early in my adult life.

Are you more of a cat or a dog person? Dog, for sure.

Are you allergic to anything? I don’t believe so.

Does your shirt have anything written on it? Yeah, it says “UP Fighting Maroons” styled in a varsity font since that’s the term for our sports team.

Have you ever tie-dyed something? I have, but only back in like Grade 6 when we had to do it for a home ec class. I remember wanting to buy a tie-dye set recently so I could revisit the activity, but I never got around to it.

Who can you always count on to cheer you up? Angela for the most part; but I also don’t want to be too reliant on my friends in this way. Sometimes I simply allow myself to be sad or upset, and sometimes I count on myself to cheer up.

How many places have you been today? I have been nowhere but at home today lol. I’ll be going to BGC tomorrow to have lunch with my godfather and my cousins, though.

Are you a forgiving person? No.

When was the last time you felt let down? Last night when I read the news that the government will be making All Souls’ Day, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Eve working days this year. I already know I’ll be half-assing my way through those days lmao because whyyyyyyy the fuck would you make people work on family-centric holidays such as those

What is the title of the nearest book to you? There are no books here at the rooftop.

Are you wearing anything that belongs to someone else? Nope.

Can you whistle? Only through my lips. I can’t do the kind of whistle where you put your fingers in your mouth as well.

Do you look more like your mother or your father? My mom.

Are you still in high school? I’m well past that chapter.

Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child? I’m the eldest.

Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep? No, because I don’t.

How many people have you kissed this year? None.

Is there anyone of the opposite sex you trust fully? Hmm, no one comes to mind.

Are you a night owl or an early bird? More of a night owl.

If you could have an exotic pet, what would it be? No thanks. I’ve never had the desire to have one.

Would you rather go to Brazil for the weekend or Finland for a month? I’d have to go with Finland. I feel like the cultural differences would be a lot more marked, plus the vacation is longer so that is an instant win for me.

[..And Finally..]

Where did you go the last time you drove somewhere? I was driving to the local coffee shop to spend some time with myself, and do a liiiiiiiittle bit of work as well.

Where did you last go out to eat at? Ramen Nagi. I was initially hesitant to show up there and ask for a table for one on a Sunday evening...but it turned out to feel incredibly empowering and freeing. It was definitely awkward at first, but it got a lot easier once I realized literally no one gives a fuck. Or if they did, they didn’t do anything about it and let me mind my own business. That evening was a crucial step in reclaiming my happiness, so I’m glad I made the choice to suck it up and enter the restaurant.

When was the last time you let someone borrow something from you? Last week, when Angela needed our abaca mat as an aesthetic for her grad shoot.

Was your last breakup a bad one? Yes.

What was the last song you listened to? Just checked my Spotify and the current song I have on pause is Descansos by Hayley Williams. 

What was the last movie you watched? Midsommar.

Did your last kiss happen in a public place? Not technically, but it did take place outside of my house so we were outdoors for some neighbors to see.

How did you meet the last person to leave you a comment? It was Andi, and I already explained how we met earlier in this survey.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

lover series - i forgot that you existed

Pairing: Chris Beck x Reader

Warning: mentions of heartbreak

A/N: i’m not entirely sure what to write for my new multiple chapter fanfic i have quite a few ideas and i’m loving the character ideas you’re sending. until i decide which idea to go with, i decided to do something I’ve always wanted to do which is write a little drabble for various sebastian stan characters based on the songs present within taylor swift’s masterpiece, lover. if you have not heard the album here’s the spotify link. i hope you guys enjoy it xx  

Chris was hopelessly, stupidly in love with his best friend, Y/N. He had met her during their freshers week, sat at at pub table along with her flatmates looking the most bored someone could look at a pub. He still remembered how she looked on that day, with her beautiful hair let down instead of the upwards hairstyle she always used during class and a loose red dress, no makeup, staring at the pint in front of her. Chris could help stuck up a conversation with her and from that moment on they became inseparable. 

They were even on the same course, so he saw her every single day in lectures with her cup of green tea and laptop. It hadn’t taken any longer for Martinez and Watney to realise Chris followed Y/N around like a lost puppy. Watney had even tried to get Chris to ask Y/N out, however his hopes were crashed when Beth and Melissa, Y/N’s flatmates, warned him that Y/N was closed off dating.

What they had told Chris was that Y/N was still recovering from a pretty bad breakup she went through the summer before university started. Ever since Y/N spent her days thinking about how Dave, as Chris, Watney and Martinez had named him due to not knowing his name, did her wrong and how she’d rather be a successful student than ever be heartbroken again.

She had sworn off dating and she was not gonna date again. Trust, Chris knew she was really off dating, whenever they went out for drinks or to the movies, every guy would hit on her and she would rebuff him in such a fashion that Watney had dubbed her to be the heartbreaking one of the group. 

     - You’re staring again, Beck. - Mark elbowed in the side, noticing Chris eyes were on Y/N’s back. They always sat a row above the girls not to interrupt their studies as they always complained whenever they spoke during lectures. - Just ask her out.

    - I can’t ask her out. - Chris turned to his friend, upset that they still brought it up. He always told himself that he’d eventually meet another girl and fall in love with her and forget about Y/N but it had been 3 years and he was still head over heels with Y/N. 

    - Beck, Watney, what is so interesting that you’d rather be speaking in my lecture than listening to it? - their lecture called them out making Y/N, Beth and Melissa turned to face the boys, a smirk on their faces. 

    - Sorry Mr. Parris. - Chris said, mentally wanting to stab Watney. He needed to pass this module and if he continued to piss off the lecturer, he would never do it. After what felt like two hours but were only thirty minutes, everyone was dismissed. 

Y/N, Beth and Melissa were the first ones to exit as usual. They always went to their favourite table on the ground floor of the library were they could eat as well as revise for their modules. Those were always the first ones to go out, so they always rushed there.

They got to their favourite tables and placed their bags on the table, sitting on the worn out black chairs, laptops going on top of the table along with their post its filled with more notes. 

    - So, the spring ball is in a week. Who are you guys taking? - Melissa started their short gossiping. They always did a bit of girl talk before they went straight onto their studies. - I’m thinking about inviting my lab partner.

    - Blonde with the cute bum? - Y/N inquired and Melissa nodded. - Are you guys gonna finally stop flirting and go the next step?

    - Look who’s talking, Miss Single. - Melissa teased. - I know who you are taking, no one. What about you Beth, please tell me you’re taking someone.

    - Maybe I’m gonna ask Chris. I don’t think someone has asked him yet. - the redhead said with a smile on her face. Y/N however did not share the same excitement Melissa showed her. She didn’t know Beth had a thing for Chris, it was never mentioned to her. 

    - Chris Beck? As in my best friend Christopher Beck? - maybe it was another Chris. God, the name Chris was a popular one, every single kid had it as either their first or middle name. 

    - Yeah, Chris. Why has someone asked him out already? 

    - Not that I know of. When did you start liking Chris?

    - He’s handsome and he’s sweet, there’s not a lot of guys that are handsome and sweet besides we wanna go into the same NASA programme after university so it has potential to be something serious. 

    - Just took me by surprise. - Y/N shrugged, head going straight to her book. Melissa furrowed her eyebrows turning to Beth to ask her something which caused her to leave to grab a book.

    - Right, Y/N. Spill it. - Melissa grabbed the book away from her, making sure she listened to her instead of reading volume two of the physiology of organ systems.

    - Spill what? - Y/N tried to push the book back but Melissa was already expecting this and put it on the table behind them. - I need to read two chapters in an hour to make sure my study sche ...

    - “Chris Beck? As in my friend Christopher Beck?” - Melissa mocked her voice, rolling her eyes. - We don’t know any other Chrises, you idiot. 

    - That’s just hurtful. There’s another Chris.

    - Where? - she crossed her arms, leaning against her chair.

    - Chris, the guy that serves us coffee every single day. - to be honest, Y/N did not know the name of that guy because he didn’t use a name tag but he looked like a Chris. He was probably a Chris. 

    - God, Y/N just admit it you like Chris. You’ve liked Chris since you two went on that weird medicine field trip and ever since you haven’t shut up about him. 

    - I never talk about Chris.

    - Oh really? Just yesterday we were watching Breakfast at Tiffanys and just because the male lead had blue eyes you mentioned Chris. God Y/N, you like Chris. 

    - Chris is my best friend, Melissa. Besides, you know I don’t date.

    - Why because you’re still hang up on your ex? The same ex you have not mentioned or complained about ever since you and Chris came back from the medicine field trip. - Chris and Y/N were part of the same course unlike everyone else who were only on some lecturers together which meant they got to go on field trips together. Since their group was so tight knitted, she got some alone time with Chris, something she deeply adored as he was probably the nicest, funniest guy she ever knew. In all honesty, she had been so busy thinking about how nice he was, she had completely forgotten about her ex. Heck, she had even forgotten his name. There was no more love, no more hate, it was just indifference.  - Tell Beth you’re going with Chris.

    - No, I’m not going with Chris because he’s going with Beth.

    - Right, are you dense? 

    - I don’t wanna hurt my friend besides I’m his best friend, he doesn’t see me that way. - Y/N sported a sad smile now, something that made Melissa deeply upset. She knew Chris liked her and now she was sure Y/N liked him back, however it wasn’t her place to break it to her friend that her best friend had been in love with her ever since they met. - I don’t wanna hurt Beth.

    - What’s Chris favourite movie?

    - Taxi Driver, why?

    - Beth? - Melissa turned to face Beth. - What’s Chris’ favourite movie?

    - I don’t know, ask Y/N. - she returned to look for the book she was looking for in the huge book shelf. 

    - See? Whenever someone needs anything about Chris they always ask you. Go on, go and ask him out and then return. 

    - Will you stop annoying me if I do so?

    - I’ll even buy you dinner, go.

Y/N got up from her seat, placing the laptop in her bag and walking away from the table. How was she even going to ask Chris out? He was her best friend, he had never shown any interest and he had seen in situation that would stop anyone from being remotely interested in her. As she was about to walk out the library she saw the very familiar grey sweater from the NASA museum Chris always wore. She rushed in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

    - Hi Y/N, are you okay? 

    - Are you going to the spring ball? - she was one of those people, always trying to get stuff away before she got scared and decided not to do it.

    - No, I thought we were going to McDonalds and then to a movie.

    - Right, rain check on that. Would you like to go to the spring ball?

    - No, sounds like a waste of time besides I’d have to find someone to invite to go with or be the alone one and get mocked by Watney and Martinez ... and probably Lewis.

    - No, I mean would you like to go to the spring ball with me as in a date. Me and you in a date.

    - Did Martinez put you up to this?

    - No, I just ... I like you and I’d like it if we went together. See how it works. 

    - I would love to, Y/N.

[apairofcrepeswiththerarestape]

The New York Review of The New Yorker for April 6th 2020

Hello! This week was surprisingly busy! As we move into the part of life when you have scheduled video calls with other humans so you don't feel like you live on an island which is your apartment and the laundry suddenly needs to be done and that requires a bucket and now there is less time to read The New Yorker! I apologize for the delay. Also we got Animal Crossing and it's simulacrum of the regular world is soothing, horrifying, and addictive. ANYWAY, let's talk about this issue!

COVER

I was pretty down on Chris Ware for his work last week and guess what? I THOUGHT THIS COVER WAS FINE. You probably shouldn't be handing your phone with gloves in a hospital though.

TABLES FOR TWO

Woof, this one really caused a lot of consternation in the old brain pan. Hannah Goldfield writes about the restaurants that are trying to make do with delivery in this age o tha rona. On one hand, I love restaurants and want them to stay open and for the people who work there to get paid and be able to live (as a former and hopefully future food service worker I have a bit of skin in the game), but reading about the lush meals that are being delivered/picked up makes me feel a little queasy! Like if you have the money to be ordering in all the time why not just give that money to people and learn to fucking cook something every now and then. The number of people put at risk every time these people want take out from Carbone or whatever is insane. Maybe if you love a restaurant so much just give them money and tell them to make food for people that have a little bit more need than you? I don't know, I ordered wine delivery last week so maybe I should be measuring my own neck for the guillotine.

TALK OF THE TOWN

We lead off with the traditional Trump is bad/stupid/doing terrible things articlet (this is not a typo, I'm trying to make articlet a thing), it was fine.

Next a thingee about people trying to find ways to make a cheap ventilator which was only depressing because the government paid people to try to do this and then those people had their work basically thrown in the trash. There was a whole ProPublica article about it which I just tried to google but about 6 other articles about how fudged the whole ventilator world is came out and I was too bummed.

Then a jammer about Alex Jones who is only worth attention when he's going on a strange nonsensical rant about how he's a man filled with blood or whatever. He's apparently scamming people with bs supplements to prevent the corona virus which is NOT A SURPRISE.

After that something about how people are buying guns, EVEN LIBERALS! How fudging shocking! Everybody in this little thing sounds like a moron.

Finally, something about how theaters are trying to stay open through streaming content, which is admirable. Unfortunately the performer featured in this piece plays the ukulele, hands down the worst instrument in human history. If you'd like to hear a good song played in a way that makes you go "hmmmmm, I like this song but for some reason this version is only making me angry" then the fucking uke (as it is often referred to by people who I immediately try to leave the vicinity of) is for you! Anyway, I hope that Caveat (the club featured in the thing, a place where I have not seen many people I know perform because I am lazy) stays in business but that ukulele mentioned in it is smashed against a wall or rock.

CORONA VIRUS CHRONICLES

I read this article but could not remember anything about it.

COMIC STRIP

This was fine if kind of boring. Again a cartoonist talks about how terrible they are. I swear  I like comics, maybe just not New Yorker comics?

SHOUTS & MURMURS

Did not read.

ANNALS OF MEDICINE

Well this was pretty miserable to read, Eyal Press writes about the consequences of Alabama not expanding medicare funding. This article is filled with heartbreaking stories of people who lack means falling ill and dying and it pretty much seems like it was Alabama's fault. THE WORLD IS REAL COOL RIGHT NOW. This was a very good if extremely sad piece.

A REPORTER AT LARGE

This was not a real rainbow of a follow up! Rachel Aviv tells the tale of Sharon (or Sharoni) Stern, a sad person who thought they had found something in the world of Butoh dance but eventually killed herself. JESUS NEW YORKER EDITORS! CAN YOU GIVE ME A BREAK! Anyway, this story is very sad even without me really knowing what Butoh dancing really is (though someone once told me about how moving it was and then I looked up a video of it and it left no impression (even though I know many dancers I have little to know facility for speaking about it), I do remember telling that person that it looked "cool" because I think I was trying to impress them? I'm pretty sure my trenchant analysis failed that mission). The two other main people in the article, Katsura Kan (the Butoh instructor who Sharon fell under the influence of) and Tibor Stern (Sharon's dad), seem like real jerks!

LETTER FROM YANGQUAN

Did not read.

FICTION

Oh man do I love George Saunders. His ability to tell stories that illustrate the ills of our current reality by showing us ones that are slightly shifted never fail to get my brain working.The stories combined with the challenge of his linguistic tricks that somehow make the stories more emotional (rather than the usual linguistic trick reaction, which make me say "wow, what a cool linguistic trick") also blows my mind. This story is no different, though it is less weird than the usual fare. Presented as a letter from a grandparent to his grandson dated sometime in the near future, it tells the tale of a world who's apathy towards the slow slide to authoritarianism (which, uh duh, we're in the middle of right now!) went unchecked and how those who were/are not directly affected by it will allow it to continue. It made me sad! 

A CRITIC AT LARGE

Elizabeth Kolbert talks about how pandemics shaped human history (this was the subhead of the article so you can probably figure that I do not have a lot to say about it). I don't remember a lot of the article but I DO remember thinking "oooooh, this is INTERESTING" while I read it, so there's that.

BOOKS

Jill Lepore Jill Lepores the hell out of life living alone during our modern emergency and it made me sad (man, this issue made me sad A LOT). Lots of sad stuff about chimpanzees in here if that's your thing (and I hope it isn't you sick FREAK).

BOOKS

Sheila Heti on the letters of Tove Jansson. I never really got into Moomin as stories but Jansson's lines were always really fantastic to look at. I always feel like a real dummy when a book of letters is reviewed because if I ever become famous a collection of my emails will consist of so many of them that read like "look at this video of Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage!" or "here's another version of this comedy bit, I changed the word fuck to fudge, what do you think?" Anyway, Tove sounds cool but I will not be reading a book of her letters.

BOOKS

Did not read.

THE THEATER

Did not read.

MUSICAL EVENTS

Did not read.

POP MUSIC

I had not heard of Yaeji (I rarely hear of good new music. I've definitely entered the age of my life where I'm mostly listening to reissues to stave off the possibility of outwardly liking something current that turns out to be ultra corny) but Hua Hsu made me interested enough to check out her record and it's pretty great so far! Thanks Hua Hsu!

THAT'S IT! A real bummer of an issue for this bummer of a time! Hopefully next week will be more fun! Probably not though! See you next weeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk!

[serenagaywaterford]

#5 - I am checking in now that you’ve read some of these reviews. Yeah, very uneasy about this development. You are right, if the diehard Serena fans are getting tired of the seesawing, imagine the casual fans, or haters. But I am still hopeful a firm and lasting June/Serena alliance is still a possibility in the second half of the show, we’ll see. Either that, or kill her off. I don’t want them ruining a great character. It is a bit tiring honestly, my enthusiasm definitely suffers a bit.

Numba 5 :D I take it you’ve read all the reviews too? Sigh. Just a great big head-shaking sigh. 

One minute I read all this disappointing, worrisome shit. The next I read something nice and positive that gives me some semblance of hope it won’t be  that bad after all, and then I come back and read new shit that sounds even worse than the initial disappointing stuff! What is happening lol. This is the worst way to build enthusiasm for a new season!! Honestly, I don’t see very many fans all that pleased in general. Serena fans are on anxious tenterhooks, Nick fans seem rather bummed by some of it, Rita fans are flipping out, Lawrence fans seem a bit hesitant, (Are there Fred or Luke fans???), Moira and Emily fans are also worried from what I can see, casual fans seem okay, I guess?? Everyone’s a June fan so... that’s sort of pointless to talk about lol. Like the reviews sometimes sound good, and then another one will say the opposite thing happens. (I really don’t know what to think about Emily’s arc... I can’t tell where its head is at based on the reviews/spoilers.)

I won’t post any spoilers, but just in case people don’t wanna read me bitching about the vague shit in reviews and interviews, I’ll cut this. Also, I’m a major Debbie Downer lol so I’m sure a lot of excited people don’t wanna read that either, haha.

But I feel ya. I’m tired. My enthusiasm has deffo really suffered in the last few days. I was just saying the other day that all these “teasers” aren’t helping either cos everything is out of context and says nothing really, but requires a lot of speculation and that’s just exhausting to do day after day. AND THE SEASON HASN’T EVEN STARTED YET. I remember last year being a lot more excited. Like legitimately thrilled, even reading the pre-season reviews. It’s weird to me to feel this way when I was soooooooo excited just a month ago. I was bouncing off the walls with joy! Now I’m burnt out, lmao.

“But I am still hopeful a firm and lasting June/Serena alliance is still a possibility in the second half of the show, we’ll see.”

You know. I’m with you. All of these reviews are based on the first 6 episodes of the season and it is sorta jumping the gun to judge a whole season based on the build-up. Six episodes isn’t even quite halfway. Maybe it gets significantly better in the backhalf. It just doesn’t bode very well if it takes 6 episodes to get things moving, and that even at that point Serena is still full on her annoying bullshit.

I’m pretty much a hopeless romantic in some ways. Like it won’t really matter completely but I will ALWAYS hope that there is a LASTING June/Serena alliance in the latter half of the season that is significant and shows Serena’s character growth--if there is any lol. Like, even in a non-shippy way, I want June and Serena working together. I’m gonna be picky and spoiled but I need it to be together. Not working towards the same goal, but divided and at odds with each other. I want them communicating and agreeing. Not just “Oh, look, there goes June doing her idea. And, oh, over there is Serena doing her totally separate thing, that’s vaguely related to the same goal?” I want teamwork. And I want teamwork with other women too. With Alma, Janine, Moira, (Emily? I dunno if she’ll be in a healthy enough place tbh.), even possibly Aunt Lydia. I don’t need unrealistic “super happy families!” vibes either. It can be terse and difficult and conflicted and they can stumble and miscommunicate along the way. It can require June ramming Serena with reality checks (as she does)... but I want them all in the same general direction, with the same general ideas of how to get there. Each has their own strengths, skills, opinions, and knowledge that would influence the goal in their own ways. Oh god, I’m making it sound like I want Ocean’s 8: Gilead Edition. And I want the complex June/Serena dynamic at the centre of it. 

But that’s my personal perfect world and this show is very much not willing to be that brave, lmao. (MAKE IT GAY(ER), YOU COWARDS. I’m only half-kidding.)

“Either that, or kill her off. I don’t want them ruining a great character.”

I used to be really opposed to killing off Serena. But that was back when I thought they were going to move her arc along to something better. If this all they insist on doing to her for the backhalf of the season, and presumably the next... just kill her off already. I suspect, based on Miller’s “jokes”, that he has no intention of killing either Waterford off -- which is a shame cos Fred just... go away, Fred. He’s redundant and so superfluous to these women’s stories at this point and I don’t care what headass sympathy-inducing crap they give us in S3, I will always feel that way. But she’s been a fantastic character thus far and to just keep beating this flipfloppy dead horse they consider “interesting” wrt Serena, just let her go. I can’t imagine anybody sticking around and retaining their interest in a character that literally never grows or learns or commits to anything and is constantly going one way only to flip back the other for seasons on end. Sounds... annoying and boring.

Maybe some people like that? Miller and Strahovski seem to. (I get why Yvonne does on some level: it’s fun as an actress to play with all those extremes. It’s challenging and exciting not to play the same note all the time. So, I get why an actress would think it’s a good idea for a character to be so... extra.) What I don’t get is why a showrunner/writer would. I’m not saying never have Serena fuck up--cos we all know she’s gonna--but just not the same ways all the time. Cos at this point, we been knew. We KNOW that every single time Serena does something kind/nice/good, she’ll snap back and do something fucked up. Like, it’s just EXPECTED. There’s no surprise. The first few times, sure. But when they keep doing it over and over and over and over...

That is fucking BORING. It’s come to just eye-rolling now. I don’t read these reviews and comments by Yvonne and say “OH NOOOOO. Serena’s back on her bullshit!! Nooooo. SAD FACE!!!!” Nope. I just read them and say, “Ugh. Again? Really? Yawn.” and “What shitty writers that they can’t come up with anything new for her to do.”

Like, we knew at the end of S2 that Serena was gonna regret letting Nichole go. Miller came right out and said it. And that was fine. That’s actually reasonable and normal and I can get behind that. It makes sense. I was all onboard for some serious grieving and regret. That’s totally understandable under the circumstances. I’m even here for the way trauma/grief/fear influences Serena’s often confounding decisions. And, I mean, I’ve seen a lot of cult-breakers and cults in general and all sorts of psychological stuff so I know Serena’s crap isn’t something she can just shut off in one day; it’s a long process--but it tends to move in a determinate direction, even just baby steps (or not at all). It’s so deeply ingrained and it’s ~safe. It takes time and I was 1000% behind ALL that. But by the sounds of that, it’s not really going in that thoughtful direction. People’s attitudes and beliefs may be difficult to change, but they don’t weave all over the damn place merely for the sake of shock and drama.

More like “We want Serena and June to scream at each other under iconic American monuments! How can we do that? Make Serena do some super fucked up thing for barely any reason!” Also, “Hide all her motivations! Make it really murky so people won’t understand it! That makes us clever. Hurr durr!!”

It’s just giving me Benioff & Weiss vibes...

Harumpf.

I will keep an open mind, but I’m no longer holding my breath that something amazing is gonna come out of this unless the backhalf of the season is exceptionally better than the first 6. (But again, I feel like S2 was like that. The second half did seem stronger overall. IMO, anyway. With 2 major exceptions, heh.) 

So, yeah. I’m trying to just not read or look at too much more until it starts airing. Otherwise I may talk myself out of enjoying it! LMAO. I’m so weak. (But I’m also such a slut for June/Serena so........)

[wolfwhiteflowers]

issue 192/TWD comic thoughts

huge spoilers🙄😭🤠 

RIP comic Rick Grimes.

 It’s not the way I wanted him to die at all. I feel it shoulda done better. I know it’s “Carl’s story or he’s gonna lead someday” but it felt blah. ARGH asdlkfjdkla

 Does it still feel like a father-son story? Because it doesn’t feel that way....much or so. Idk I’m just shocked that it happened in the end of that dumb political plot/volume with CW and Pamela. Like it should’ve happened in the next volume or set the whole thing in the whole volume. ARGH. I’m more annoyed how this death was set up and rushed more than feeling sad that comic Rick died and didn’t get his final goodbyes like he would wanted. Comic Riiiiick :(

ok...I can see how it was like wrapping up Rick’s story. I liked those parts. I liked that everyone was basically there in CW (like Maggie) to Idk say bye to Rick,... I guess. I liked the moment of when he said “ we are not the walking dead!”

But what about wrapping up the Rick and Carl’s storyline? ehhh. ARGH.

Sigh I was hoping for Rick to mentor Carl and die in meaningful Volume; not in a few Issue and whatever Carl gonna do. I’m so disappointed how it was done. Seriously? Carl hanged out with Rick and said a few words or so for like 2 issues and it was just words (not actions) of like Carl’s gonna be a good man/leader. etc. I don’t mind how Rick dies, his actual death. I get it. It’s more like realistic or whatever. I just don’t like how bland it was. (And right after Dwight’s death. It’s weird. Like some rushed plot/arc. ) It's not surprising of this death cos Kirkman hinted about this big issue for a month.

Idk it feels weird. Rick wanted to die after Andrea and grieved/cried, but he did right when he found Commonwealth. K. It's seems quick. I’m just - sigh. If it was planned to have Rick die in 192, why not have Carl with him at CW and do stuff together? idgi. I want more father and son moments (actions and Carl learning; not Carl stuck in Hilltop)

It felt like a boring and rushed “pass the torch”-to- Carl plot.  Idk why Kirkman didn’t put it all...idk make it better for the farewell of Rick Grimes, his first leading character.

Another thing, Idk what he’s doing with Michonne, because I thought it seems like Michonne got it all, more than Rick, and yet she still lives. Idk what’s next for her. But um idk ..maybe she fades away in the story with Elodie in CW. 

Sigh idk..i always felt Kirkman’s writing is ok or not as good. And I feel bummed from reading the whole thing like last year i think and making the comic-richonne fanvid. All comes to an end now. ok. Imagine those who read it since the start. oof and Rick dies like that. umm. It just sucks when a fave character dies and when story’s conclusions suck.

So obviously comic-Richonne didn’t go canon but they have a good bff going on. But ukno Kirkman’s writing/comics aren’t that emotional-whatever and well I guess what we got out of Richonne is good enough, I guess, based on Kirkman’s writing. I would have hoped for more meaningful moments of them. (like Grimes meeting Michonne and Elodie and getting to know each other, etc. ) Same thing with other survivors. Anyway. maybe that’s comics style idk.

Geeze, why is TWD story takes forever to end. So far TWDG did and they ended it very well. comic and tv, meh.

k so im gonna think about the AMC show The Son, Fringe, tv TWD ...stories about fathers & sons. ....And blah writers. I’m tired of being disappointed from writers. :(

--- ~spoilers~!!!

I read the issue on youtube. It’s straightforward as usual. Carl puts down Rick. 2 days later Pamela told him it’s Sebastian and he’s in jail for lifetime. It’s all Carl’s POV, if u get it. He’s cries and all and tries to be a good civilized man. Michonne supports him a lot. A lot of people from CW are going to ASZ for Rick’s funeral which Rick will be buried by Andrea. Carl is scared of what to do next in his life.  

So yeah I just want more other character’s reactions (Michonne, Maggie, Eugene) and grieving but yeah...and it’s weird again how quick it was. We see Rick just in 4 pages and that’s it. idk that’s how comics go ..it’s so fast (and slow). I hate this lil plot. 

I still feel the same way. Still feeling disappointed. Like why so quick? wtf and all that subvert expectation trend going on with the writers. Not a lot of richonne moments  since their bff moment ...k yeah. disappointing. The whole thing is disappointing. Like can Rick die after Andrea did or.... just later on after spending time with Carl. sigh 😐😥

---

eta. after thinking about the issue., first here’s a link of some comments, cover art, Kirkman’s quotes. https://popculture.zone/threads/walking-dead-issue-192.6211/#post-85409

Okay so after thinking about it. I can see how it was like very planned out and it was how Kirkman wanted to go and all. He did had Rick die like respectfully, imo, like in his story with Rick finding Commonwealth and how it’s what Rick wanted to find this new/civilization. Kirkman, I guess, wanted Carl to lose Rick with NOT so much father/son +mentor/student trope of Carl being a leader some day. Like that’s what Kirkman wanted to do and planned to do. I don’t like that idea because I thought this story was also very father/son story so... And omg I didn’t expect to be like now-ish when Rick’s in his 40s(?) and close after Andrea’s death. And, again, how it was like 3 issues Rick was centered on and dies. 

 So I guess Carl will be freaked out about what to do in life now and learned about leadership skills with other people like Michonne (because she’s a lawyer and can help him with new civilization?) and Negan (he’s back in next issue i think. and knowledgeable leader or so).  I’m like uhh idk. I want Rick and Carl moments! Idc about Negan that much. (So if Carl and Negan are gonna team up or something wahtever, it reminds me of how Kirkman thought about having Carl being raised by Shane, the man who killed his dad.I think.)

It’s all annoying but it is interesting what Carl will do next (and maybe a time jump.) 

So im saying im kinda ok with what happened with this and not okay. But at least it was planned and kinda respected Rick’s story, even though I wanted a different direction in the story.

[wineanddinosaur]

VinePair Podcast: Are Hybrid Vines the Future of Wine?

Hybrid, non-Vitis vinifera grapes have been a bit of a taboo subject in the wine world. As climate change threatens the viability of vinifera grapes and a new generation of wine drinkers emerges, might the stigma around hybrid vines be dying down for good?

On this episode of the “VinePair Podcast,” co-hosts Adam Teeter, Joanna Sciarrino, and Zach Geballe explore the future of hybrid wine and discuss how shifting consumer preferences may help these wines succeed on the market.

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OR CHECK OUT THE CONVERSATION HERE

Adam Teeter: From VinePair’s New York City headquarters, I’m Adam Teeter.

Joanna Sciarrino: I’m Joanna Sciarrino.

Zach Geballe: And in Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the “VinePair Podcast.” Guys, I did survive. I just want you to know I’m OK. Healthy.

Z: You did better than the Auburn Tigers, I’m sorry to say.

A: Yeah, it was a tough loss. It was really, really interesting to be on a college campus and see what was going on. I’ve taken two Covid PCR tests since I’ve been. I’m negative. The vaccine works, people. Go get the vaccine. I also took a lot of precautions and was only outside. I did not go into any bars.

Z: I was bummed to not get an Instagram photo of the mask, though. I thought maybe you’d have it painted, put some tiger stripes on there.

A: No, no. It was really fun. I was really shocked, though. Well, I guess I’m not shocked. Shocked is a bad word because I shouldn’t be shocked at this point. What do you think I saw all over campus?

J: I know what you’re going to say.

Z: Seltzer?

A: Just seltzer. That’s all anyone was drinking. It’s crazy out there, guys. For college kids and people in their 20s, that’s all anyone was drinking. Seltzer. I was just like, wow.

Z: As I mentioned last week, I went with my wife to a baseball game here in Seattle a few weeks ago. It was astonishing to me, in a sense, how so much of the inventory space that was dedicated to beer in the past has now been switched over to seltzer. That’s what a lot of people in the crowd were drinking. It makes sense, I guess, but it is wild to think about. Maybe on this podcast, we’ll have to come back to the topic of what seltzer has displaced. What would have been light lager is, in so many places now, seltzer. I kind of get it.

J: This is so funny because we have a piece coming up in which Dave Infante explores whether hard seltzer has displaced the college kegger.

A: I think it definitely has. It was just crazy. I definitely saw a lot of White Claw. I just saw seltzer. In all of the package stores, we saw massive seltzer displays. Another thing in Pennsylvania that I thought was really interesting — maybe it’s a thing in other places, too, but I think we forget about it in New York — is that in the gas stations, almost every single one of them had walk-in beer coolers. They had huge signs advertising them. I walked in and thought, “Well, this is boring. It’s just all ABI products. There was nothing else in there, but I needed to experience this massive walk-in beer cooler. It was pretty funny.

Z: I have a seltzer gripe. I still can’t find this Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel pack anywhere in Seattle.

J: Save yourself, man.

Z: We were hoping to do it on an episode eventually. It might be winter before I can get it.

A: No Flannel pack for you.

Z: Joanna. You broke into it, didn’t you? Can you give me any info?

J: They all taste like candles.

A: I will say that it was a pretty amazing Instagram post.

J: Yeah. I made my partner, Evan, try them all.

A: He was hilarious.

J: It was really funny.

Z: Was this on condition of him getting to watch football?

J: No!

A: No, it was on condition of Joanna being willing to go back to Canada. She said, “I will only cross the border if you try our great seltzer products.”

J: No, he was happy to do it. He loves seltzer.

A: Does he really? No.

J: He loves hard seltzer. It’s so funny.

A: What’s his brand of choice?

J: I don’t know. I think he likes White Claw.

A: You don’t know what’s in your fridge?

J: I mean, we have a Flannel pack in our fridge right now.

A: That’s amazing. There’s one video I just love where he immediately spits it out.

J: That was a genuine spit take. It was so bad. That was the pumpkin spice one. I hope we all try them together.

A: Oh, I can’t wait.

J: Adam, did you drink a lot of hard seltzer this weekend?

A: No. That’s also what I forgot about tailgating, is how friendly everybody is. We were grossly unprepared. We pulled up. First of all, I’m not sure what people are used to in terms of their tailgating history. But, in the South, on a college campus, you can basically tailgate anywhere. All over campus, there’s tents and people tailgating and hanging out. At Penn State — and I’ve been told this is more of a Northeastern thing because this was actually my first-ever Northeastern tailgating experience — everyone is pushed into lots. You have to pay to park in them. Then, people just open the back of their cars or drop their pickup truck tailgates. They just hang out there. It was just a different experience. I think that’s why the Grove in Oxford, Miss., is so iconic. It is just this beautiful section of campus that people set up tents and tailgates without their cars. That’s the case with a lot of Southern tailgating. It was interesting. We stupidly didn’t have a cooler. As we’re like leaving our hotel, which was really far away, we thought, “I guess we should pick up a 6-pack.” We grabbed a 6-pack before we left of pilsner. Of course, when we got to the campus, we realized, “This is going to get warm really quickly, so we should drink these.” Then, we started walking around, and people just gave you beer. It was really friendly. You just walk up and they’re like, “Hey, do you want a beer?” I will say that was what was pretty awesome, too, how serious the Penn State fans were taking ensuring that Auburn fans were having a good time.

Z: Oh, that is kind of sweet.

A: They all kept asking, “Are you having a good time? Are you enjoying State College? Isn’t it great?” That’s totally different in college footballI, I think. Obviously, each team wants to win. We would never be that nice to Alabama fans.

Z: I was going to say, isn’t this the difference between a conference rival and a team that you play once every 25 years?

A: Yeah, that’s probably true. We’re pretty nice to South Carolina fans. We kind of have to be, because it’s sad for them. It is funny. In the pros, I feel like no pro team’s nice to another pro team’s fans. I remember going to the Eagles game in Philly. We were warned prior to the game to not wear anything that shows we were from Atlanta or we would get a beer dumped on us. We were like, “OK. Cool. We will just not wear anything. We’ll wear normal clothes.” We saw an Eagles fans get in a fight with an Atlanta fan. Like, why? Anyways, I’ve talked for too long. What about the two of you?

J: I drank some great things recently. First, on Friday night, I listened to the latest episode of “Cocktail College” about the Manhattan, which happens to be one of my favorite drinks. I promptly made Abigail Gullo’s Manhattan.

A: Amazing.

J: It’s a perfect Manhattan, which I really enjoy. She uses three different types of bitters. Rye is her spirit of choice here. It was very nice. I also had the Long Drink this weekend.

A: Which one?

J: The classic, from the people who you interviewed, Adam. In the blue can. It was great. I really enjoyed it.

A: It’s like an alcoholic Fresca.

J: Yeah. It really did taste like that. It’s delicious.

A: They’re tasty. Zach?

Z: I have a drink and a story to share with you guys, because it’s not just Adam here who gets to do this. We are in the midst of fresh hop beer season here in the Pacific Northwest.

A: That’s cool. Fun. We don’t get that.

Z: For all the true beer lovers out there, it’s worth traveling to the Pacific Northwest. You see it even more in Seattle because more of the hop fields are in Washington. Every brewery around here has multiple fresh hop beers at this point. It’s just such a cool thing. It’s so seasonal. They pick the hops and, instead of taking them through any kind of preservation technique, they literally ship them right to the breweries. You have to get them in the beer within 48 hours or everything you’re trying to get out of them degrades to the point where it’s almost worthless. It’s wild. It’s a big deal for the breweries. It’s a lot of late nights. The beers are just really fun, and it’s such a cool, seasonal thing. We’ve had nice early fall weather where it’s sunny and a little warm but not too hot. It’s great beer weather. I had a couple of different ones. I had one from Fremont Brewing and one from Reuben’s Brews. They are delicious and something to seek out if you are around here or if you make it out here in late September, early October.

A: Sounds cool. Now, story time.

Z: As we’ve discussed before, I do this subscription wine club with a friend of mine. I was placing orders for October because I have a baby due any day and wanted to get stuff done early so that the wines all arrive and everything is set up. That way, if I’m not able to be a part of the packing and distribution, everything is good to go. I placed my orders 10 or so days ago. I was at my friend’s restaurant yesterday, looking through everything, and I thought, “Huh. One of the wines didn’t show up. That’s weird, because the other wine from this distributor came.” I emailed my sales rep and asked, “Hey, what’s the deal? Did something get mis-delivered or what’s the deal here?” He responds to me — and I still can’t believe this — and was like, “Yeah, we’re out of stock. It said so on the invoice.” I’m like, “OK, but you couldn’t have told me this 10 days ago when I emailed you?” This is obviously a wine buyer in a restaurant or retail setting kind of complaint, but it was so weird to me. It’s still a customer service job. I don’t have to buy wine from this company or from this person. I was so taken aback by the lack of any attempt to communicate this very simple fact. If you’re out of stock, that’s fine. I don’t have a problem with that, but maybe I would have wanted to order something else from you. Instead, we’re going to buy something else from another distributor that’s vaguely similar, to fill our orders. That’s sales you don’t get because you couldn’t take the time to email me. I don’t know. It was very interesting.

A: Yeah, that’s crazy.

J: It’s like ordering something or getting a gift. You’re ordering a bunch of things and you’re unaware that it’s out of stock. You expect that it’s coming, and then it’s not there.

Z: Because this is my background, I think of it in a restaurant setting. If a table of six people all ordered a cocktail or a glass of wine and the server came back with five of the drinks, put them all down, walked away, and never said anything, that sixth person would ask, “Excuse me? What happened here?” If, eventually, they flag the server down and ask, “Hey, what’s the deal?” and the server responds, “Oh yeah, we don’t have that. We ran out of it,” wouldn’t you have offered the customer something else when you figured that out? Why did I have to seek this information out from you? That’s the part that blows my mind. I would have been willing to give you the money for something else. Now, you’ve done nothing. If you’d come to me initially and said, “Hey, we’re out of this. Here are some alternatives. Here’s another wine from that producer or here’s a similar wine.” I don’t know what I would have done in that setting, but what I did in this setting was reach out to one of my other distributors and ask, “Hey, can you get this here by tomorrow, please? I need it to fill my orders.” That’s all done. That’s a sale that this other company doesn’t get.

A: So, we want to talk today about hybrids. You pose an interesting question as we were starting to think about this episode. Not only are we going to see more of them, but are the newer generations of wine drinkers more accepting of them than the older ones? Why don’t you set that up first? I think that’s an interesting part of the question. I think we will see more of them because of climate change. But the acceptance thing is a big deal.

Z: I’ve been thinking about this for the last couple of years. I think so many of the emerging trends we see, whether it’s in natural wine or these styles of wine that have become more popular of late, really don’t exclude the use of hybrid or even non-Vitis vinifera varieties. There’s Concord grapes, Catawba, et cetera, and other things that are native to North America. When I was first getting into wine and learning about wine, almost no time was spent on any of that stuff. I, like many a Jew of my age, drank some Manischewitz when I was a kid. Until recently, that was basically my only experience with non-vinifera wine grapes. I’ve had a number of hybrids because those occupy a slightly different space. You see them used in a few places around the world, in some places in northern Europe, Canada, in the northern U.S., et cetera. I’ve tried some of those wines. The way that those varieties have been denigrated in the past is that they’re too fruit-driven, they’re too “grape-y.” That’s a slightly weird complaint, but whatever. They’re too high in acid. They don’t have a lot of tannin. I think what prompted this thought in me was the question of, “Are these characteristics that we laud in Vitis vinifera really the only things that wine drinkers want now?” In this world now, you’re seeing producers who have a certain kind of cachet blending grape wine and cider, making fruit wines, doing all kinds of stuff that totally would work with hybrids or non-vinifera grapes. So, why is this stigma still here? Is it still here? Is there an opportunity for people, whether they’re in other parts of the country or in the world that aren’t considered great sites for Vitis vinifera, to make wine? As we’ve talked about a number of times on this podcast, for a lot of the places that make, to this date, great wine from Vitis vinifera, it’s not looking great over the next couple of decades. I don’t know how I would feel about my vineyard holdings in parts of California or France. It ain’t been pretty the last few years.

A: I do think that there’s going to be more acceptance. I do think it’s because of natural wine. There is a growing movement of people who just think that is the term for wines that are trendy. There’s a flavor profile that a lot of consumers are enjoying. They may not be the flavor profiles that we like. They might be very mousy, whatever. I think that is the very grape-y, sort of Beaujolais bubblegum style. You’re seeing a lot of wines made like that. I’m seeing a lot of hybrids where they’re also doing carbonic and these really juicy wines that I think a lot of consumers like because they’re fun, easy, and very approachable. I think that is allowing hybrids to exist and people to accept hybrids. Do I think that hybrids will be accepted by the same people that are huge Barolo, Bordeaux, Burgundy drinkers?

J: No.

A: Probably not. But, in the world of natural, I definitely think hybrids will continue to grow.

J: You said younger wine drinkers. I think that also goes for people who are unaware of this stigma around hybrid grapes. They’re not aware of it, so why would they discriminate against a wine that’s made from those grapes?

Z: I think that’s an excellent point, Joanna, because one of the things that we’ve seen in wine more broadly is that, as you bring more regions and varieties into the fold, how is someone who’s not a wine expert going to know that Hondarrabi Zuri is a vinifera variety and Seyval Blanc is a hybrid? No one knows.

A: Seyval Blanc probably sounds, to a lot of consumers, like it’s a vinifera.

Z: Traminette or even Vidal Blanc, which may be a little more widely known because it’s used for dessert wine in Canada a lot. We don’t live in a wine world anymore where people only drink six varieties, thankfully. If you’re the kind of person who is seeking out wine from Georgia, Slovenia, Croatia, or wherever, the name of the variety on the label isn’t going to register with you. If you’re getting, alternatively, a hybrid wine from, say, Wisconsin, Michigan, northern Germany, or something like that, I just don’t see people being too caught up in the idea that this isn’t all Vitis vinifera. If you look at the way many of these hybrids have been developed, they’re 90 to 95 percent vinifera, with just a little bit of some other variety to give them a little more cold resistance, frost resistance, or some other characteristic that is considered desirable. I think the real fascinating thing, too, is the question of, “Are there under development hybrid varieties?” I think there are. Many of them are not yet really named or commercially available. But, are these being developed, not as hybrids were previously for these very cold regions? Obviously, the problem we face going forward is places where access to water, extreme heat, or just very unpredictable weather is a bigger concern. Can hybrids be developed that will thrive in those conditions and might replace the varieties that we now associate with those great regions? I don’t know that in 30 years, the slopes of Barolo will be replanted to some hybrid. But it wouldn’t totally shock me.

A: I had a crazy thought, and it’s probably going to piss some people off. But, as you’ve been talking, I’ve been thinking about this. I want to be clear when I’m using the term natural wine. Since it has no definition, I’m going to define it the way that I define natural wine. I’m not talking about wines that are biodynamic and organic, where the wine still comes out clean and you can taste the varietal and it tastes of the varietal and of the place. I’m talking about the wines that, through infection of the spoilage yeasts, Brettanomyces, or through the mousiness quality, or carbonic maceration. There’s something else that is more powerful in the wine than the essence of the grape.

Z: Right.

A: That movement of wine, a lot of people like. It’s crazy. To make a weird tangent, one of the fastest-growing brands right now in the U.S. is a hard kombucha. Right? That flavor profile and that kombucha thing is very popular right now. JuneShine is the brand.

J: It’s the funk.

A: The funk is the thing. Varietals don’t matter. It’s basically like a red blend. That world of natural wine is the red blend of that wine world. That’s what I’m going to say. Varietals don’t matter. The question is, is this the flavor profile you’re looking for? In that world, Zach, you’re really right. No one’s looking. No one’s asking. I was at a dinner last night before this event that we all went to with a bunch of, like, bartenders who were all into wine. We were at a place that only had natural wine on the list. The people who were serving us wine didn’t even tell us what the varietals were. They just said, “We have a red from Italy that’s super natural and funky, and we have an orange from Spain.” Right. There wasn’t even a description of the regions it’s from. It was like, “This is what we have.” And I think that’s becoming more and more common in my definition of what I think a lot of people think of when they think about what natural wine is. Does it have the funk? Does it have the juicy juice? No one is really that concerned with what grape it was made from, which is fascinating. But, it does make sense. When you do have those things happen to the wine, the varietal characteristics of the wine go away. I know we’ve had this conversation before, Zach, but what does varietally correct mean? I don’t really know. We can talk about that again at some point. I definitely think you want to taste a variety. I can still tell you that it’s Nebbiolo, even if it’s made in different places, it’s still Nebbiolo. I think with some of these wines, they just aren’t. Hybrids are great because if you’re not looking for that. If you’re looking for it as a vehicle to get the other flavors that people actually like, then who cares?

J: I don’t know. I also think it’s kind of interesting because, when I go out and order wine, I just want a wine that’s delicious and tastes good. I care less. I have no wine training or anything like that. I’m still learning a lot about wine, and I just don’t really care about the varietals. I’m not saying it’s because I want the funkiest natural wine you have on your list or anything like that. I just care more about how it tastes. I feel like, if hybrid wines are delicious, then sure, why not?

Z: Yeah. I think one thing that we found — and it’s something kind of echoed in your statement, Joanna — is that there was a period of time when certain grape varieties were considered “noble” and other varieties were, I guess, “ignoble.” This is a phrase I hate, so I’m going to immediately dismiss it. Frankly, though, if you look at the origins of this, there’s a lot of weird, very creepy eugenics-y things. There’s a lot of race theory, let’s put it that way, in this idea about everything, not just in grapes. Grapes were a prominent place for it, though. So much of what we’ve come to learn about different varieties, how they grow, and how they express themselves, is that there might have been a point in time when — through lack of knowledge about viticulture or winemaking — that might have been why certain varieties were prized in one place and less cherished in another. A lot of that stuff is apocryphal, ahistoric, and just doesn’t hold up to modern understandings of wine. This notion that only these few grape varieties or only this one species, Vitis vinifera, is capable of producing great wine is a myth that’s persisted because it gets lazily passed down. It fits well into a textbook or a 30-minute training that someone gets at a restaurant. Everyone in the wine industry, up until recently, was invested in the truth of that myth. Producers that spend a lot of money to plant and grow Vitis vinifera don’t necessarily want someone else to come along and say, “It turns out that I can make equally good wine from this unknown hybrid variety that I grow in a place where the land cost me one hundredth of what it costs you, and the people who buy it like it just as much as your wine.” I don’t know that that is exactly where we’re at, at this point. But, it doesn’t seem impossible to me that that could be true, at least for some meaningful segment of the wine drinking public. I think there’s a lot to be said about getting away from this fetishization of certain varieties over all others. That being said, I will say your point, Adam, is a well-made one, and an important one for people to keep in mind, too. One thing that we have valorized, and I think rightly so, in wine over the last century is the notion that there is some value in wine communicating something about where it’s from in drinking it. That communication can happen through the variety to some extent. Certain varieties are associated with certain places or maybe only grown in certain places. It can be in the mono-varietal nature of certain wines, and it can be in the winemaking and all that. As you described the natural wines you were talking about, Adam, when the thing that people are treasuring in a wine are other things, then I think we are at a perfectly valid expression of wine. It’s just not going to convey those things. It would be good for those who are in that industry and want that style of wine to open themselves up, as some of them are, to this notion of, “Why do we need vinifera in the first place? It’s hard to grow. It’s expensive. Why don’t we make our wines from other types of grapes?” There’s no inherent reason not to, other than that that can’t put varieties that people are familiar with on the label. Since many of them are not really interested in doing that, who cares? You can give it whatever fanciful name you want and put whatever crazy label on it. That’s great. Let’s party.

A: Glou-glou! It is interesting. The cool thing is that whether you’re on the side of, “Screw you, you have biases that are bullshit. I can make a beautiful wine with these grapes, not just this vinifera,” or you’re on the side of, “glou-glou,” it’s super cool that more people are using hybrids. It’s great to be able to now go to places like New Hampshire and Vermont and they have good wineries. That’s awesome. I think having wineries in communities is similar to having breweries. They’re places where people can go and see how wine is made firsthand. They’re also great places to socialize. They’re usually places that support really great cuisine and help build economies. With wine countries, hotels often come with them and there are great restaurants and stuff. If that can happen in other places, and it’s just with hybrids now, that’s freaking awesome. I’m all for it.

Z: I want to add one last point that I think is also kind of cool here. The other thing that has been hard for hybrids and non-vinifera varieties is that, because they have been so looked down upon by fine wine, they largely have not been made for that consumer. Adam, we got some wines a while back from a producer in Wisconsin and the owner who sent us the wine and communicated about it was upfront that a lot of their clientele like sweeter wine. So, they make a lot of sweeter wines. They don’t necessarily do it because that’s the only way to use hybrid grapes, but because the kind of people who are open to drinking those varieties are not typically people who want what we think of as fine wine. Therefore, they may want some sweetness. I don’t think that means that you can’t make great dry wines from these varieties. The more that people open themselves up to the possibility here, that denigration of hybrids and non-vinifera varieties, that “of course, they’re sweet,” is really just a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t think there’s any winemaking reason why you can’t ferment those wines dry. It’s just that many of the producers that currently exist are trying to meet a market demand that fine wine doesn’t really speak to very well. People may say “hybrids have to be sweet,” but that doesn’t have to be the case. It just has been the case because that’s who is willing to buy hybrid wines: people who like sweet wines.

A: Team, this was a great conversation. If you’re into some hybrid wines, let us know which ones they are. If you make hybrid wines and you listen to the show, send us some. I’d love to try them. Joanna, Zach, talk to you Friday.

J: Thanks, guys.

Z: Sounds great.

Thanks so much for listening to the “VinePair Podcast.” If you love this show as much as we love making it, please leave us a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or wherever it is you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show.

Now for the credits. VinePair is produced and recorded in New York City and Seattle, Washington, by myself and Zach Geballe, who does all the editing and loves to get the credit. Also, I would love to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder, Josh Malin, for helping make all of this possible, and also to Keith Beavers, VinePair’s tastings director, who is additionally a producer on the show. I also want to, of course, thank every other member of the VinePair team, who are instrumental in all of the ideas that go into making the show every week. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: Are Hybrid Vines the Future of Wine? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/podcast-hybrid-vines/

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Movies I watched this week - 24

In The Cakemaker ( האופה מברלין‎) a lonely baker moves from Berlin to Jerusalem in order to bond with the widow and young son of his boyfriend, who had died in a car accident. 

A restrained, moving and subversive Israeli film about Identities - what a surprise!. 8+ / 10.

The only trope that annoyed me was the power of “Food” as magic.

✴️             

2 with Saoirse Ronan:

✳️✳️✳️ In The Lovely Bones, 14 year old Saoirse Ronan is being murdered (brutally, but off screen) by creepy neighbor Stanley Tucci. The first 30 minutes before the murder are bone-chillingly scary, but then it turns into a stupid, unnecessary metaphysical theoretical bullshit. Sad!

✳️✳️✳️ Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut.

Sensitive, quiet and empathetic, well-paced and beautifully acted. Re-watch.

Best film of the week!

✳️✳️✳️ Bonus: Saoirse Ronan's many accents

✴️               

In Daniel Clowes’s sad Ghost World, misfit teenage friends, Scarlett Johansson and Thora Birch, prank dorky Steve Buscemi after they find a lonely heart ad he had placed.

Sweet and sensitive about adolescent angst and punk restlessness.

9/10.

✴️                

Unfortunately, Terry Zwigoff’s next film after Ghost World was Bad Santa, a terrible, unfunny crime story of a Charles Bukowski-type mall Santa with no redeeming characteristics who robs the stores where he works at the end of the season. 2/10

✴️                  

“Mmm... Whale carcass...”

Luca, the newest Pixar feature, (which is like “Coco but on the Italian Riviera”...), and which is like “Call me by your name”, but without the gay stuff. First feature from the director of La Luna, and pretty much a Vespa product placement.

I like the posters from the old film classics (Roman Holiday, Bicycle Thief) that can be briefly glimpsed on the town’s walls!

✴️                       

2 with Kristen Stewart:

✳️✳️✳️ American Ultra: A goofy underground comix disguised as an action movie where the hero is a loser stoner who loves his stoner girlfriend. Sweet and over the top. With Huell Babineaux in a colorful sweater in a small role.

Terrific end titles done in Mike’s "Apollo Ape" drawing style.

I wrote about it here, giving it “3 Funyons”.

(Re-watch)

✳️✳️✳️ Personal Shopper starts suggestively with two interesting stories, one of lovely Stewart as a shopper for a super model celebrity who eventually gets murdered, and another of her being a medium who communicates with ghosts. But in the last 30 minutes, she is trying to connect with her dead twin brother, and the whole plot falls apart and ends ‘nowhere’ (literally in a random room in Oman).

It is shot in romantic Paris with a small side connection to Hilda of Klimt (who was also a spiritualist), so it was very appealing to the eye.

Even though it was uneven, I’ll look for other films by prolific French director Olivier Assayas.

✴️                    

The Bothersome Man is a weird Norwegian film about a man who suddenly finds himself in a cold, “perfect” city - but without children or any emotions - and his attempts to escape from there. He is first dropped off - dressed like ‘Paris, Texas’s Harry Dean Stanton - in front of a deserted gas station in the middle of nowhere. It’s a dystopian story without explanations or much direction. 4/10.

✴️                

Icarus - Amateur cyclist Bryan Fogel’s 2017 investigation into illegal doping in international sport, and his discovery of a massive Russian conspiracy of cheating and cover up. I wonder how he first got the director of Russia's national anti-doping laboratory to help him cheat.

✴️                       

✳️✳️✳️ “Man just wants to forget the bad stuff, and believe in the made-up good stuff. It's easier that way.”

Kurosawa classic 1950′s Rashōmon - I didn’t remember how low budget and simple it was: There are only three settings in the film: Rashōmon gate, the woods, and the courtyard. The black and White filming is symbolic of light and darkness, good and evil. Part of the score is Ravel’s Boléro.

(The Internet Archive copy is haltingly bad, but the only one I could find).

✳️✳️✳️ Sheila Marie Orfano explains The Rashomon effect, where individuals give significantly different but equally believable accounts of the same event.

✴️                        

Kurzgesagt’s short film A Minute by Minute Account of the Day the Dinosaurs Died.

The YouTube channel of Kurzgesagt in general is one of the best.

✴️                   

In the new Fatherhood, Kevin Hart’s wife dies a day after she gives birth, and he stays to raise his daughter by himself. I wanted to like it more but there wasn’t much there.

Also, the newborn baby was a bit too old. 3/10

✴️                  

Errol Morris’s horrifying Standard Operating Procedure shows that we only know about Bush’s war crimes at Abu Ghraib because they were photographed. “American values” never change.

(This copy is pretty grainy)

✴️                       

On the waterfront - Young Brando’s first Oscar performance was truly riveting.

“... It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room... I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley..” 

✴️                   

In 2018, before he did ‘‘Another Round", Thomas Vinterberg must have bought a big house in the country, so he had to direct Kursk, about the Russian nuclear submarine that sunk and couldn’t be saved.

Conventional and boring. But I can’t imagine how this story could be told in any interesting way. 

With Lars Brygmann (in a ”normal” person role) and a cameo by Max Von Sydow.

✴️                        

Another unforgettable Max Von Sydow role, as “Joubert”, in my all-time favorite film, Sydney Pollack’s best, Three Days of the Condor.

“...It will happen this way. You may be walking. Maybe the first sunny day of the spring. And a car will slow beside you, and a door will open, and someone you know, maybe even trust, will get out of the car. And he will smile, a becoming smile. But he will leave open the door of the car and offer to give you a lift...”

The perfect thriller which I’ve seen at least 12-15 times, and will probably see again and again. Dave Grusin’s score is superb. It’s also one of the most Christmasy movies I know. 

10/10

✴️                             

2 scars:

✳️✳️✳️ The original Pre-Production Code, Howard Hawks Scarface, inspired by Al Capone, and the archetype of the gangster film. “This picture is an indictment of gang rule in America and of the callous indifference of the government to this constantly increasing menace to our safety and our liberty”. I never realized that there was some comedy and (lovely!) cabaret singing in it.

✳️✳️✳️ Oliver Stone’s 1983 Scarface, with Hector Salamanca as “Alberto” and Harris Yulin as Mel Bernstein!

40 years later, it’s just a bit too long - could use a little trim.

You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy."

✴️                  

A short YT clip of clips from Kubrick’s films, from FilmoteCanet Cinema which has hundreds more.

✴️                

Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, with Gene Wilder as the doctor who falls in love with an Armenian sheep, Burt Reynolds and Lynn Redgrave. In hindsight, not as lecherous as remembered, but very 1972.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Lady Bird Adora.

Daniel Clowes Adora.

La Luna Adora.

Three Days of the Condor Adora.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[mintynim]

i wanted to ask you how do you do your au? i want to make one so baaad, like i know i have to use social dummy, i just mean the plot, the pictures and everything, how do you organize urself? i'm sorry if what i'm asking is lame or boring but i really wanted to ask bc i like your au a lot and i wanted to try too :’)

i’m literally rolling on the floor that out of all the talented content creators, you decided to come to my trash ass for advice but let’s see, um… there’s not much to say really, is there? 

organization isn’t my forte, i have a folder on my phone called “au” where i keep all the finished parts, i do them part by part then delete everything. but apart from that i just save pictures all over for the au. if you’re asking for my porn sources, i’ll gladly name a few (but actually ask again so i can make a separate, not safe for my children post about it) but for selfies and stuff, just google, really.

for the plot, well the key is to not go too big for me. start with an idea that might seem overly simple, but that’s still interesting enough for people to click, and then you develop on that. i’ve been writing/rping since i’m 12 (i’m 21 now) so it’s a growing process, you get smarter and better as you do it. but i’ve always been a “wing it” kinda gal. 

things just pop up in my head so i’m not helpful concerning that. i’ve started keeping a notebook and carrying it everywhere, so when an idea strikes i write it down there. it’s now filled with just bullet points and then i see what feels right when it comes to creating it. the underrated part of aus is realism. since it’s fake i mean, you can play around and not be strictly realistic, but always keep some sort of realism to your aus.

like i don’t wanna call anyone out ok but for my example listen. sad snaps… like character A taking a snapchat of character B and writing “he’s sad who did this” like… if your friends do that to you irl, get new friends. fuck ‘em, you know what i mean? smaus are a limited media, you can’t exactly text your friends while in the same room (to propel storytelling and actually get down to why that character is sad) and you can’t have dialog through texts. but you can have.. say, character C bumping into B and texting A like “i met B on the streets and he looked pretty bummed out, maybe you should look into that, and get back to me on it”, so then you get an excuse to let the reader know why tf B is being a sad hoe. just an example.

you really have to get creative with the ways you use to move the story forward, as dialog is absolutely nonexistent. it’s always through text or through a third person. again, really don’t wanna call anyone out, but it’s one of my au pet peeves (sad snaps) and it works against the realism of it. what makes smaus so popular is like they’re easy to read and since we’re the digital generation like we get it. there are ways to work in plot points, you just have to get creative. sure, fics are so much easier for that and like thank the lord for fics and actual dialog and physical cues and shit (do you know how much i’ve restrained myself from posting a part of the au as just a mini fic? like lol okay part x is a oneshot, surprise!!), but social media aus still do so much and you can still accomplish a lot through those if you don’t have the patience (me) and talent (me) to actually write huge ass fics.

but yeah the plot, what more can i add, mhm… you can make it as detailed as you want in your head, but make the title short and catchy. take the time to really “explain” your vision, like make sure all your little chess pieces are all sitting where they’re supposed to and everyone’s on the same page before really getting into the nitty gritty. 

i hope this ask helps i feel like a huge failure like i haven’t answered anything i’m just weird with the way i do things! you should ask veterans like phanadox who do so much of them (she inspired me, too!) if you want like… better answers. this is only my second au i have a lot to learn. but thank you for trusting me with your inquiries and thank you for supporting/loving the au i’m eternally grateful. also grateful i get to rant and babble on this ppl never come to me for advice/opinions so i’m lit thank you baby, thank you!!!!!!!!

[seigyokus]

8.4 - So May We Reach Them

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 8.4 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Nanase Riku: How about something like 'cheering on the people trying their best' as the theme? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: They've been supporting us all this time, so it'd be great if we could return the favor and cheer for them too. We should sing and dance in a way that'll give them lots of energy! Izumi Mitsuki: I want lots of people to sing the song, so I think we should make it something that'll cheer you up as you sing it! It’ll make you more confident and blow your worries away! Momo: I want it to be a song that you can happily dance to with your friends or your work buddies! Full of love and gratitude! Rokuya Nagi: A great, positive song that will help you take on your love life, studies, work, and travels, and face them with excitement. Izumi Iori: Given the people assembled here, I'd like the song to bring out a sense of opulence and completeness. Within the framework of the charity, of course. Osaka Sougo: I hope it'll be something bright and vivid, with all of IDOLiSH7, TRIGGER, and Re:vale's colors mixed in. Yaotome Gaku: All twelve of us will be dancing. I'd like for everyone to show their individuality, and I also want our teamwork to come across to the audience. Nikaidou Yamato: Definitely. Something that'll cheer ya on, like 'You're not alone. Look around you, you're surrounded by friends.' That kinda feeling. Yotsuba Tamaki: That special, fun feeling. Kinda like when you're at a school festival! Kujou Ten: Something that won't bring shame to the charity telethon or ourselves. Yuki: ......That's a lot of requests, but I think I have an idea. Yuki: Let's make it a song that feels like a once-in-a-lifetime anniversary, but brings out the fun from everyday life. Yuki: It'll be special, but also normal. It'll be filled with a wish to cheer on someone out there, or even ourselves. It's our very essence. Yuki: Let's send ourselves as a message to them. (1)

Osaka Sougo: I remember hearing that we'd have design references in this room.... Nanase Riku: Woah! They've got every single one of our stage outfits here! TRIGGER and Re:vale too! Nikaidou Yamato: Hey, Mitsu! You should put on Tsunashi-san's outfits! Izumi Mitsuki: The hell are you excited for! It's really obvious you have ulterior motives!! Yotsuba Tamaki: Rikkun, you should try on Tenten and Momorin's clothes. You're all the same height, yeah? Nanase Riku: If I remember correctly, you're the same height as Yaotome-san, right? You should try on his Leopard Eyes outfit! I bet you'd look super cool! Osaka Sougo: This is amazing! Just looking at the outfits makes me remember all of the songs. Ah! This is his "SECRET NIGHT" outfit! Izumi Mitsuki: I bet you'd look good in that one, Nagi! Here, put the hat on! Rokuya Nagi: I can pull of any kind of clothing. How does it look? Izumi Iori: All of you are acting like women in the Ladies' Section! Stop with the chit-chat and get to work! Yuki: How is it? Momo: It's really good! I love it! Yuki: That's what you always say.... Momo: If it's bad, I'll tell ya it's bad! I'm a fan though, so I'm happy to hear anything you write, Yuki. Yuki: I see.... Momo: Would you like me to critique you more? Yuki: From time to time, yes. Sometimes, when I'm trying to write a really good song, I lose sight of what makes a song splendid. Yuki: During times like that, I feel like I'm lost, all alone. It's painful. Momo: Oh.... Yuki: But knowing there's someone out there that will enjoy what I make, regardless of what it is, helps me keep my hands moving. Momo: Really? Yuki: Yeah. Stay here, and listen. *click*  Nanase Riku: Yuki-san, Momo-san! I wanted to ask you guys about the song so we could match the T-shirt designs to it! Yuki: What's your question? Nanase Riku: We were thinking of using the Chinese zodiac as a motif since there's twelve of us! So how about going with a more traditional Japanese style-- Ahahaha! (2) Yuki: Do you know what happens to naughty boys when they try to drastically change the composition this late in the game? (3) Nanase Riku: A-alright, then how about playing cards? There'll be one extra, but those are also numbered! Momo: IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER would line up pretty nicely! Wouldn't we be different though? Yuki: What do you picture me as, Riku-kun? The jack? The queen? Or the king? Nanase Riku: Um.... The queen? Heeheehee! Yuki: The theme is love, isn't it? You're going to design it around love, aren't you? You wouldn't put the Chinese zodiac or playing cards into that, would you? Nanase Riku: 'Love' is too abstract, so it's hard to design around that! That's why we-- Ahahahaha! Yuki: I was struggling with the exact same thing! Momo: Yuki, Yuki! Don't threaten our kouhai! Yaotome Gaku: ......I get it, but isn't the demo a little late? When are we gonna start choreographing....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: How about I send them a RabbitChat about the tempo and mood of the song? Kujou Ten: Wouldn't it be better if we asked in person? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: That's true, but Yuki-san's probably stressed right now and might pinch my cheeks if I go. .......Ah! He replied. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: He says it's like "RESTART POiNTER." Yaotome Gaku: Huh. Ten, can you dance it out? I'll sing. Kujou Ten: Got it. Yaotome Gaku: Lalala la-lala la-lala la-lala.... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Ah, wait. He says it's like "Leopard Eyes." Yaotome Gaku: Isn't that really fast? Ten, one more time. Kujou Ten: .... Got it. Yaotome Gaku: Da-dada dadada dada, da-dada dadada dada.... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Wait, never mind. He says it's "SILVER SKY." Yaotome Gaku: Man, it's all over the place! Ten, one more time. Kujou Ten: ...... Hah.... Got it. Yaotome Gaku: Dadada bum-bum bum bum, bum bum bum..... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Huh? I guess it's more like "Let's☆SUMMER!" then...? Kujou Ten: ......Can he contact us once he has a more concrete image? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: "By the way, this is because your little brother told me to add in things like the twelve animals of the Chinese zodiac, the twelve-layered ceremonial kimono worn by court-ladies, the twelve apostles, or magnesium...." (4) Kujou Ten: Magnesium...? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Because it's the twelfth element. Yaotome Gaku: Are our T-shirts gonna explode or what......?

Izumi Mitsuki: Woah! You're really good at drawing, Tamaki! Yotsuba Tamaki: Is it too empty? What should I add? Whatever it is, I want people to be happy when they see it. It's really hard to make people happy.... Izumi Mitsuki: That's such a grown-up thing to say. Did something happen? Yotsuba Tamaki: So like, the other day, I was strolling around on my way back from school. Yotsuba Tamaki: And this random older dude told me, "You've been such a goody two-shoes lately, Yotsuba. It's boring." Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Yotsuba Tamaki: You know how I was like before. I used to think stuff like 'shut up' or 'I'm bored' and didn't really care. Yotsuba Tamaki: But sometimes, you just wanna make the people watching you happy. You feel? Well.... That's me right now. Yotsuba Tamaki: So that's why.... Like.... Umm.... Like...... Yotsuba Tamaki: You know how you're always tryna make your fans happy, Mikkii? Izumi Mitsuki: Yeah..... Yotsuba Tamaki: I thought that was just you being nice, or a good guy, but.... Yotsuba Tamaki: You're not all bright and sparkly like that, it's more like, someone who gives you that really strong gut feeling.... Someone who works really hard.... That's what I think.... (5) Yotsuba Tamaki: Now, I'm just like, 'Wow, he's really got guts. He's really, really strong.' Yotsuba Tamaki: I gotta be a good kid, gotta be strong, gotta be funny and interesting. Yotsuba Tamaki: That's why stopped thinking stuff like 'I wish they'd shut up' or 'what a pain in the ass'.... Because I wanna be all of those things. Yotsuba Tamaki: Man, I wanna be like that.... Izumi Mitsuki: You can, and you will. Yotsuba Tamaki: Really? Izumi Mitsuki: Of course. Izumi Mitsuki: When you try really hard to make people happy and the opposite thing happens, it eats away at you. I was really down in the dumps back then. Yotsuba Tamaki: You, Mikkii? No way.... Izumi Mitsuki: Yeah. I was really, really sad. It was awful.... Hell, I wanted to disappear. I'd think stuff like, 'What the hell are you doing?' or 'What should I do?' Izumi Mitsuki: I was distressed about all sorts of things. But because I love you guys and the fans so much, I was able to stick it out. Yotsuba Tamaki: ......I really love everyone too. Izumi Mitsuki: Haha.... I know. You've become such a great guy, Tamaki. And to think you used to be such a selfish beast back then! Man.... Yotsuba Tamaki: Oh! He praised me. Izumi Mitsuki: You're the coolest! If it were possible, I'd cover your ears so you won't have to listen to all of those mean voices. Izumi Mitsuki: But you're not gonna lose to them, because I know you're a strong boy. Yeah? Yotsuba Tamaki: Yeah! Izumi Mitsuki: Ahaha! Aw come on, you can't just draw a pudding on there! Yotsuba Tamaki: Haha! this one's mine.

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

thank u @kuriiii for proofing!!

(1) This is actually what the title is referring to but I modified title since a direct 'Let's send ourselves' would've been... A little....... Strange. 

(2) Just wanted to point out that there is indeed a SSR set where all of the i7 characters are dressed up in zodiac-themed clothing! Also, 'Chinese' is there to clarify that they're doing the animal set and not the virgo, libra, etcetc zodiac. 

(3) translating it directly ("So I guess this the mouth of a bad kid who tries to make drastic changes this late in the game?") would've been kinda weird so I went with my [tamaki voice] FEELING 

(4) juunihitoe = probably easier to visualize than explain, so here's a pic!  

(5) tamaki literally says 'makes you clench your stomach/abdomen really hard, that feeling' and i searched high and low and it's not some idiomatic phrase (Dont Ask Me how many 'how do i flex my abs :c' chiebukuro questions i sifted thru what the Fuck) so i went with my best interp of it?????? chikara wo ireru can also mean to try hard so Classic Me, I put in one line with the stomach part tl'd and another bit without the stomach part tl'd so pls correct me if Im wrong

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

[elizabethrobertajones]

I stumbled across my own old post from when I ranked all spn seasons in order of my favorite to least and realized I need to figure out where to add s12... was wondering if you had such a ranking and what it is?

Oh no :P That’s a tough one. I’m still thinking about what @k-vichan said on @superspecpod about liking the emotional/motw stuff of season 12 a LOT but ranking the overall plot really really low. (And I just watched 12x15 so I’m freshly annoyed about this exact thing because Perez tried SO MUCH HARDER than he needed to to make the Crowley and Lucifer stuff interesting and to make it go somewhere - anywhere other than 2 more episodes of Lucifer sitting around chained to a chair in a boring room exchanging the same old samey dialogue - so the rest of the Buckleming episodes after just make it like a lesson in not trying so hard because you can coast by on about 3% of the effort >.>)

Maybe it’s time to start getting more nuanced because it’s really hard to decide and there are other seasons which aren’t so starkly split but still have an imbalance in my eyes. I’ll rank them out of 10 for those categories.

So I guess season 12 is 10/10 for motw, probably like 9/10 for emotional arcs and 1/10 for plot, no offence to Berens and Dabb but… Yikes. 12x13 retroactively ruined 6x04 and somehow 9x21 as well and I didn’t think 9x21 was a strong episode to start with… Other plot episodes in the same season don’t stand a chance. I’m putting the good work into “emotional arcs” from those episodes and backing off, although I’ll allow stuff like the good parts of the plot stuff that affected the emotional arcs some leeway into being enjoyable, like all the times the BMoL were used WELL for family drama. (I did also just watch 12x16 after all.) Overall 20/30

Season 11 I thought had some great motw but also some more average ones… Nothing terrible but there were several which were quite rote, so maybe like 8/10, average lifted by Robbie and Nancy Won specifically for 11x04 and 11x19 :P The emotional arc was fairly simple and stretched waaay too long and some parts not resolved, and the whole ikkiness of 16 year old looking Amara hitting on Dean which even when I didn’t think they’d use it as a proper romance arc was horrendously off-putting for the things we SHOULD have cared about, so maybe 5/10. The plot I think was good despite the emotional arc it created being a drag so 9/10 because I really enjoyed watching along with it for the basic drama and twists like Casifer and the hands of god to fill space with decent pacing in the middle, because it generally tied into interesting episodes, and bringing Chuck back and wrapping up was a nice way to raise the stakes and finish the story. Overall 22/30

Season 10 didn’t have any stellar motw except 10x05 - the rest were mostly tolerable-to-good but I can’t give it over 5/10 for the experience because many were plagued by… The emotional arc, which through sheer attrition ends up at like 2/10 and the only redeeming episodes on that were 10x14 for the plot and 10x22 for remembering Cas had a point to be in the season even if it was horrific to watch. But this is the plot that “went where the story took them” so ick, 3/10. Also, the demon!Dean stuff is great but in a bang your fork on the table and yell for more way, which means it’s the only reason I changed this from a 2 to a 3 because I literally forget 10x01-3 aren’t a mini season all on their own, but they still had Cole in them so it’s not going higher than that :P 10/30

Season 9 I literally quit watching over the MotW and the sort of sticky, itchy feeling they have is even worse than season 10 throughout the season, buuut 9x06 and 9x19 are in there. But Bloodlines was a motw. Let’s call it 4, give Berens a consolation cookie, and move on >.> The emotional arc is very strong and I love it a lot even though it’s all angsty and miserable, mostly because I skipped from 9x05 to 9x18 with a quick easy marathon through the Gadreel fight instead of watching along, and then read all the meta on it at once, and it’s got an excellent Destiel plot which a huge amount of the season rides on, so 10/10 because I said so. The plot, as well, flounders in the middle a bit for the angel wars but I think the Mark of Cain is a GOOD part of THIS side of the season and the demon!Dean build up and reveal was excellent, so I’d say 9/10 because once you apply the “Metatron wrote everything the angels do” theory it mostly all scrapes by. Ignoring the MotW, I usually put this as one of my favourite seasons despite the fact I ragequit it once. Overall 23/30

Season 8 has good MotW for the most part but there’s some eh ones and there’s ones I skip so hard I forget they’re part of canon, like the other weird dog episode, so maybe only 6/10. Robbie has another good year. I like Bitten, fight me :P Emotional arcs are much more painful - I’ve read all the meta on the Sam hit a dog fight but unlike the Gadreel one which I find interesting and complex, it bums me out AND feels manufactured, so 8x17 has got to prop the whole thing up to 5/10. The main plot is good. I love Kevin and the trials and Metatron’s introduction and Crowley as a main antagonist. 9/10 with a point deducted for letting Abaddon out and leaving the hell/purgatory portal open. Overall 20/10

Season 7 is a sneaky fave of mine as well because I’m awful :P Buckleming return and write MotW but Robbie arrives on the scene and I think bats a perfect game on his first try. So 7/10 because the other writers also weren’t awful and Plucky’s happened this season. I also think the emotional arc is harrowing but because I mostly remember this season through rewatches where it was all okay and I never knew Cas wasn’t supposed to be gone for good so his return seems waaay more Destiel to me than it might if you didn’t think the entire season was just manufactured to make Dean sad about Cas then give him back, 8/10. And the Leviathan plot was really nicely handled as a season-long big bad who caused a serious and damaging effect to their lives but then they scrounged up all their resources and killed Dick and also the main plot was a series of Dick jokes. so 10/10. 24/30

Season 6 on the other hand… 2/10 for MotW because this was just a resounding failure to make the MotW part of the main plot on the Eve arc but then make it all low budget dragons and spider dudes and mannequins and what have you. UGH. But there IS the fairy episode and it’s the one dang episode with no relevance to anything at all that season except Sam happens to be soulless in it which just adds to the fun. I am a bit uncertain about the emotional arc - it’s miserable for the most part and I am sad about Dean and Lisa being a disaster and going through all the steps of it being terrible. Dean is *buried* in everyone’s angst and problems and it doesn’t even really serve a purpose or let him break. The light in the dark is 6x20 which is going to haul this all the way up from what would have been like a 2 to 5. The plot is also a disaster and VISIBLY a disaster and even 6x20 has some tiny holes and stretches that can’t make it ALL work, though Edlund gives it his best. On the other hand “plot episodes” include Weekend at Bobby’s, Appointment in Samarra, The French Mistake, My Heart Will Go On, and Frontierland, and I am DYING for another season which delivers its main plot through crack episodes of utter gold star nonsense quality. I begrudingly give 7/10 but it’s marking up from like… 3 or something, instead of down from 10 :P Overall 14/30

Season 5… has awful MotW. I’m sorry, it does. All the ones that look like MotW but then turn out to be plot episodes are great (well, except for 5x09), but all the ones that stay MotW are like… Curious Case of Dean Winchester. Swap Meat. Blaaaaah. 3/10. I skip everything that isn’t about the apocalypse properly when I watch - thankfully there aren’t a whole lot of them. Emotional arc is the pay off of 5 years work and it doesn’t make me cry but it is a pretty great heaping of good emotional arc tying up and probably why a lot of the following seasons are wonky or go for manufactured drama to boot up the story properly. 10/10. Plot is almost omnipresent, mostly well-delivered, and although it is too melodramatic for “we literally knew we had a season 6 lined up” with a side order of “it definitely was meant to look like this all the way through and we didn’t cram in any last minute retcons or deuz ex machinas ha ha” *sweats nervously*, at least the original watch was a MEMORABLE JOURNEY so I give it 9/10 with a side-eye for rewatching and also with hindsight attempting to finish the story 1 or 8 seasons and counting from a reasonable place. Overall 22/30

Season 4 is my favourite but it has 4x11 aka “we want to intentionally write an episode so bad they’ll never air it and no one will watch it haha isn’t this a lark” right in the middle, so 9/10 for motw, 10/10 and 10/10 for everything else. Can you even explain season 4 to people who don’t get it? :P 29/30

Season 3 has the best motw to plot episodes ratio aside from season 12 probably. A WHOLE bunch of classics and only really 2 I dislike in it so I’d give it 8/10 because it is allowed to coast on those, and it’s about to take a hammering for emotional arc, because like season 10 it’s got a simple purpose that Dean Is Not Okay And Sam Wants To Save Him, which combines the same angry, reckless Dean and desperate miserable Sam, only then gets a writers’ strike bang in the middle so they’re even more frustrated and miserable and to no good end so 1/10. And I have a personal grudge against the show for ending forever after sending Dean to Hell because it got cancelled after the strike and I had to live with that for nearly 3 years before it turned out this was not, in fact, what had happened. 1/10 for the inevitable tanking of what looked like a strong start and just no way to salvage it but admit defeat and wait for season 4. Overall 10/30 

Season 2 is just 10/10 for motw, 10/10 for emotional arc and … maybe like 8 or 9 out of ten for plot. Let’s go with 8 with hindsight that season 4 and 5 trashed Azazel’s hard work so hard I see all the time people wondering “why did he have to go to SO MUCH trouble” and the only conclusion I got is “for shits and giggles” or to waffle about how no one knew anything for certain. (The other problem is that so much of what happens isn’t explained, and it saves a point because Croatoan finally got an answer *3* years later.) But I love season 2. Simple and gets the job done and hollows you out along the way and the much stronger follow up to the first season to really explore the characters and their trauma with a much better understanding of them. Overall 28/30.

Season 1 is more mixed for motw. They’re almost all of the episodes but Bugs and Racist Truck deserve the slamming Word of God keeps giving them in the story because they ARE racist and poorly plotted and relying on chance resolutions. I like the urban legends and the different feel it has to any other season as they find their feet with easy hunts but I don’t think a lot of them are classics in the same way season 2 episodes feel much more firmly covered in the show’s fingerprints because these are the patterns they go on to subvert or explore in much more abstract ways. Maybe 8/10. Characterisation is shaky and one note compared to later on some things, and the emotional arc is simple but also relies on John just not talking to them to the point of frustration and Sam and Dean are so isolated it’s claustrophobic at times. 7/10. But plot is simple and works and is the best hook to watch all the rest so 10/10. Overall 25/30

…

and yeah, adding up reasons I like the season against reasons I don’t, season 12 is way more watchable to me than season 10 even though they literally committed the same off-putting crime in the 21st episode both times. Other seasons score much worse for just being kinda meh or having two out of the three main reasons I enjoy something be really bad, like season 3 or 6, so even though there’s stuff I love in them, I think they’re worse overall seasons… 

I don’t know why I spent so much time on this. :P Lack of will to do anything else. Thanks for letting me ramble at you if you read this far :P

[lavieendonna]

Brushwork || ArtMajor!Calum AU (Chapter 18)

Summary: An Art Major AU where Dallas - third year gawky art student at VCA -  makes a deal with Calum - her cute new neighbour and project partner - and they spend the entire year learning that the perfect masterpiece takes a whole lot of brushwork.

Date: 8 October 2017 Requested: no people have given up on this i think ahaha   Pairing: Calum + Dallas Words: 3.4K Warnings: gotta love some one-sided friendship and overwhelming anxiety  A/N: This is not a good chapter. It’s a boring filler to, you know, fill time between last chapter and the next one which I wish I could say will be more interesting, but alas - it probably won’t be. The one after though, Chapter 20, that’s the one we’re all waiting for. So please stick with me for the next couple of chapters and I promise I’ll make it up to you. Big Love xo 

PS. The writer Luke talks about is important for not-so-distant future events. 

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Chapter 18: The Whole “Not Wanting to Claw My Eyes Out, Out Of Embarrassment” Thing Was New To Me And Not Knowing If That Was Normal Was Giving Me Mega Anxiety.

Things had not improved between Polly and I by the morning. In fact, by the time I’d dragged my ass out of bed and found her out in the kitchen getting ready to leave, it seemed like things had gotten worse. She didn’t look as put together as she usually did on a Friday morning. She wasn’t even wearing eyeliner. Something was definitely very wrong. The closer I looked, the more it looked like she’d been crying in the last 12 hours.

“Morning.” I yawned out (the yawn was an accident – it was the first time I’d opened my mouth all morning, I couldn’t help it). “Are you okay?” Polly didn’t really say anything, she just made a weird, quiet noise that sounded somewhere caught between ‘yeah’ and ‘forget it’. “Polly?” I tried again.

“Mm?” She hummed, much like the day before. “Oh… nothing. Rough night.” She sniffed and I was taken back.

“Pol, what’s wrong?” I asked again. She was on her way to the door, but I was glad to see her pause and turn back to me after taking a big breath. When she finally looked at me, I could tell she’d definitely been crying at some point, her eyes still a little red and puffy from where she’d tried to make it look like she hadn’t. I was in shock, standing stiff and unsure what to do, feet cemented to the floor.

“Are you upset with me?” She asked with no hesitation, no quiver in her voice and her shoulders still as strong as they’d ever been. Sure, her face was screaming that nothing was right in the world, but she still stood tall and strong and she was still as intimidating as ever. “Like, have I done something wrong to make you… upset?”

I felt myself shrink, the weight of Polly’s question anchoring me further into the floor. How was I supposed to answer that? The truth would kill her – it was killing me. I couldn’t just up and admit that lately everything that come out of her mouth hurt my feelings somehow, that I felt like our friendship was one-sided and manipulative and that I felt like I didn’t have a secure support system with her anymore. I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself let alone throw that in her face. And somehow, putting me on the spot like this first thing in the morning wasn’t helping the situation either.

“I, uh…” I shifted uncomfortably, hands clenching and unclenching nervously at my sides. “I don’t think– I mean, I just… um.” I grimaced, unable to piece together a full sentence because it just didn’t feel right. There was already so much going on with both of us. None of this seemed fair.

“Right.” Polly nodded her head at me when all I could come up with was incomprehensible stuttering. I caught the beginning of new tears pooling in her eyes before she spun on her heel and stormed out of the room. She left the door open, too, and that was more dramatic than if she’d slammed it.

Part of me wanted to run after her and grill her until she confessed what had her so upset and why she was asking me questions like that first thing on a Friday morning. She would have done the same thing to me, so that seemed like the logical thing to do. I knew that she was hard on me because she cared about me and just wanted me to be happy, but there was just something about her lately that screamed that she just wanted the attention – that she was just looking for an excuse to get people talking to and about her.

I hated thinking these things about Polly, I really did. Because I loved her, she was my best friend. But she was also so much stronger than I was and smarter and the part of me that won out in the end, that was the part that knew that if Polly needed me the way she’d said before, then she’d ask. She would come to me when she was ready; she didn’t like to be pushed.

Calum was the only one waiting for me at Bitters that morning, which was weird because Luke was almost always the first one there for our pre-lecture breakfasts. I tried to smile and inflate myself back up after my run in with Polly, but I got the feeling it just turned out like a grimace, as usual. And that sucked because I still felt all bubbly and excited when I saw Calum look up at me with the beginnings of a smile, but I just couldn’t bring it out like I usually would have.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Calum greeted me with concern immediately. I tried again to give a casual smile, but all I could muster up was pursed lips and a shrug while I sat down next to the dark-haired boy.

“I think Polly’s angry with me.” I confessed with a small huff. Calum cocked an eyebrow at me, but he didn’t look overly surprised either and that made me kind of nervous. Well, more nervous than usual anyway.

“What for?” He asked and I just shrugged (because that was my answer for everything, really).

“I don’t really know.” I said. “At first I thought it was because I hadn’t told her about–” My mouth snapped shut and my cheeks flamed a furious red when I realised what I’d just about admitted out loud to Calum. He cocked an eyebrow at me, too, so it was obvious he’d caught on that I was hiding something.

“What?” He prompted me. “What didn’t you tell her?”

“Um…” I cleared my throat and tried to hide the nervous laugh. “I, er. No, she just – uh. She just thinks that we don’t, like… She reckons that w-we don’t talk. Like, about stuff.” I’d clearly not convinced Calum of a thing, the way he just offered me a quick sidelong look. But he didn’t mention it, really, and instead his expression shifted to another of confusion.

“Huh.” He huffed out and it was my turn to wonder about what he was thinking.

“What?” I asked. Calum shook his head.

“Oh, nothing, it’s just…” He paused to frown and bite the inside of his cheek a little bit as he sat deep in thought. “Now that you mention it, Polly’s been kind of off all week. And when she was over last night, I heard her fighting with Ash.”

“Wait, really?” I was shocked. “About what?” Calum kind of shrugged and just looked down on me in concern.

“I’m not sure, I was trying not to listen.” He said, and we both fell a little bit flat for a moment. I wasn’t sure about Calum, but this whole situation felt like it was getting kind of out of hand. I wasn’t even sure how I got in the middle of everything or what I had to do with her fight with Ashton, but for whatever reason Polly had this power of making things my fault. It sucked. I almost felt genuinely sad about it.

“Hey.” Calum nudged me with his elbow gently before he snaked his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him and caressing my arm. I looked up to brown eyes and he was offering me a soft, encouraging smile. “Try not to worry about it, alright? She’ll come around in the end. Polly needs you.”

“Pfft, whatever.” I scoffed with a quiet chuckle as I swiped a stray hair from in front of my face. “Nobody needs me.” That sounded more depressing than I had intended, but I thanked my lucky stars as Calum laughed and didn’t take it in, like, a suicidal way or something. I mean, it was probably true, but I wasn’t the type to go and drown myself for it.

“Shut up.” He laughed and for once I didn’t feel like I was going to choke on my own vomit when he pulled me in so close to him that I had no choice but to let my head fall into the crook of his neck.

I felt like an entirely new person. Seriously, I had no idea who I was anymore. Was this what confidence felt like? Was that what confidence was? Because the whole “Not Wanting to Claw My Eyes Out, Out of Embarrassment” thing was new to me and not knowing if that was normal was giving me some serious anxiety.

I managed to put it aside, though, as Calum and I sat and drank coffee and complained about how we only had two weeks left until showcase and how we didn’t have a lot of free time left to work on our mural. I was nearly relaxed, even. Nearly. But I knew it was never going to last.

“Anyway,” Calum downed the last of his cappuccino, using the spoon to scrape the dried chocolate powder and froth from the sides of the mug. “I gotta run.”

“Where are you off to?” I asked cheekily, albeit genuinely curious.

“Folio stuff.” He said with a shrug before his grin turned wicked for some reason. “Finishing touches on some drawings.”

“Cool.” I nodded slowly, feeling the beginnings of a furious blush about to creep up to my cheeks. “Could you maybe not look at me next time you say that? It’s weird.”

“Well you are feature in some of them.” He deadpanned, a sly look still deep set in his eyes. “Most of them actually. You’re very draw-able, did you know?” I rolled my eyes, the flush of colour already halfway up my neck and creeping into every crevice of my face.

“Sure, we’ll go with that.” I mumbled. “I take it you won’t be at the lecture then?”

“Probably not.” I pouted as Calum paused to think for a moment. Not that it made much of a difference to my attention levels during lectures when Calum did or didn’t come with me, it bummed me out that we wouldn’t be spending the day together. Not that I could ever say that out loud. I’d sound like a crazy, needy girlfriend and I wasn’t even one of those things, let alone all three.

“Well, can you at least text Luke and tell him he better be there or I’ll kill him.” I said, trying to pretend I didn’t need Calum there any more than usual. Calum just laughed, and as always, he rolled his eyes at me playfully.

“Tell him yourself.” He said, and I was too busy giggling to notice that he was slowly inching himself closer and closer to me.

He was already pressing his lips to mine softly before I really noticed what was happening, actually. His lips were warm, just like last time and, at first, I thought they were wet too, but then I realised that it was actually his tongue lightly gliding along my bottom lip as he asked permission to deepen the kiss. I thought for sure I was about to freeze up and make everything weird by turning to stone and not reciprocating. But then I remembered that I didn’t have to be like that anymore. So, I obliged and parted my lips, just a little, and let my head get all foggy when Calum’s tongue caressed mine, just a little.

It was the same kind of bliss I felt the very first time, and it awakened a whole new kaleidoscope of butterflies that were going crazy in my stomach. It felt like a good thing, though. Kind of like how kissing Calum felt like a really good thing. His arm, that was draped around my shoulders, raised slightly so that his hand could cup my cheek while the other one rested on top of my thigh. It felt heavy, but his thumb was tracing absent patterns and, honestly, I kind of felt like I was going to pass out.

“I’ll see you a bit later, yeah?” Calum asked when he pulled back, leaving my lips cold and abandoned (though my face was still burning a brilliant red). I nodded, trying to keep my breathing even so I didn’t let it show the effect he had on me.

“Um.” I took a quick breath. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you… later. I guess.” I gave a small smile and Calum smiled back, the crooked one, before pressing one last, quick kiss to my lips and then leaving me there alone in the booth to think about what I’d done.

Luke waltzed in not too long after that. He was smirking to himself, pink lips slightly turned up in the corners like he was thinking things about me that would embarrass the shit out of me if I knew what it was. Based on the tease in his eyes as he moseyed on over to the booth, he’d seen what just happened between Calum and I. I felt like I was going to die. PDA was really not my thing.

“Say nothing.” I warned the younger blonde as he sat down. Immediately Luke’s hand flew up, palms forward in surrender.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Shut up.” I was scowling and Luke was laughing. “Calum’s not coming to the lecture so, unless you want food, we can leave whenever.” Luke’s eyebrow twitched.

“Is that why you guys were playing tonsil hockey before he left? Because you won’t see him ‘til tonight?”

I didn’t hesitate even slightly as I threw my fist across the table to punch the lanky bastard in the arm. Luke just let out a loud bark of a laugh, eyes crinkling in the corners as he threw his head back in amusement.

“Fuck you, Hemmings. I’m leaving.” And I shot him a look caught somewhere between a glare and a pout before I hauled my bag over my shoulder then hauled my ass away from the booth, away from Luke and out of the café.

I wasn’t really upset with Luke, who could be when the kid looked like a child in a teenager’s body in a young adult environment? I just knew he was essentially right and I didn’t want to admit that out loud with real words.

“Dallas, wait!” Luke caught up with me in about 3 strides, and he was still giggling to himself, too, as he nudged me with his elbow. “That’s the only joke, I promise.” He laughed and I couldn’t help the tiny chuckle that bubbled from my lips.

“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes and nudged him back.

“I swear,” He reassured me. “Calum’s the one I’ll be giving shit to, don’t worry.” I let out a laugh at that, but then I realised that there were actually a couple of ways Luke’s teasing Calum could end.

“Don’t tease him too much.” I tried to be subtle with my begging look up at the Giant-Boy and he stared back down at me with an arched brow. I gulped. “I don’t him to, like… I dunno, get scared off or something.” Luke snorted, shoulders heaving a little as he tried as hard as he could to hold in the rest of his laugh that I knew he was dying to get out. “I’m serious!” I wailed. “Don’t scare him away, I mean it!” I felt like I was pleading with the brother I never had. The more I thought about it, the more that seemed kind of accurate. It freaked me out a little bit.

“I won’t, I won’t!” Luke promised. “Anyway, he likes you too much, I don’t think sprouting third tit would scare him off at this point.” I dry gagged at the thought of that.

“Thanks for that imagery, Lucas.” I mumbled sarcastically. “Anyway, can we make a pit stop before the lecture? I wanna see how the mural looks dry.”

Luke didn’t really say much that could have meant he was okay with that, but it didn’t really matter because I was leading us toward the atrium anyway whether he liked it or not. I was pretty sure he didn’t mind anyway, because he just started rattling off about his latest class and how he met the writer for some of his favourite poem and short story entries in the school magazine, no signs of resistance or annoyance at all. He’d only ever known her as ‘T.D.’ and she was nothing like what he thought she’d be. I was pretty sure I’d read some of her work before and he was right to fangirl a little bit, too; her writing was incredible and relatable and generally just very pretty. She seemed like the kind of girl who wore her heart on her sleeve – but according to Luke she was more intimidating that he’d expected.

“Don’t get me wrong, she still seems really nice,” He continued as we entered the atrium a few minutes later. “She’s just quiet and… I dunno, shy maybe?” He gave a wild shrug but followed it up with a content-looking sigh and smile to match. “She said he’s going to be the TA for some of the writing units next year, though, while she does her honours. I’m praying they’ll be my classes.”

“If I didn’t know you better, Luke, I’d say you had a bit of a crush on this girl.” I teased him (which, to be fair, was justified after his entrance this morning). But Luke actually paused for a second to think, and my eyes went wide.

“Nah.” He concluded, but he didn’t sound overly convinced. “Star struck, maybe. But I don’t really know her enough.”

“Well,” I gave a shrug of acceptance. “Never say never.”

The conversation dropped again as we stopped in front of the mural. It looked different in the daylight, let alone with dry paint. The pink of the tutus wasn’t as dark, which I was relieved to see. The sunset colours in the background actually looked blended and, you know, like a sunset too, as opposed to random paint strokes. It was coming along nicely, and knowing that Calum and I had created this together gave me the same warm fuzzies that Calum himself did.

“Whoa.” Luke let out a low whistle. “D, that looks so good!”

“Right?!” I smiled a crooked grin. “I’m really happy with how it’s turning out.”

“You should be, it’s amazing!” He said again. “Where’s her face, though? And her hair?”

My breath hitched in my throat, and I should have known he was going to ask because that was what literally every single person asked whenever they saw me working on it. Where’s her face? Is she going to stay faceless? Is she bald? Why doesn’t she have a face? I kind of wanted to scream, but I just swallowed it and gave a scared, hesitant shrug.

“Uh, I don’t know.” I started pulling words out of my ass to pass them off as an excuse. “We couldn’t really agree on what she should look like, so um.” I gave another wild shrug. “I dunno, I guess I’ll just let Calum do it.”

I kind of regretted saying that, but it was better than trying to find the words to admit to someone (who wasn’t Calum) that I was too insecure to be plastered on a wall for all to see.

“Huh.” Luke seemed to accept it, though, so I breathed out a quiet sigh of relief.

I felt so on edge, and while being with Calum (and kissing him) had distracted me from the distress I was feeling earlier this morning, I could feel the anxiety creeping in again and settling uncomfortably in my stomach. It was happening again, I really kind of felt like I wanted to throw up. Everything was just so confusing and while part of me was elated and airy because of how things were going with Calum and the mural, there was still the other part of me ridden with angst and awkwardness because of what was happening with Polly and my sister and my mother. It was all just a little bit too much. And, no offense intended toward Luke, he really wasn’t the person I wanted to talk to about all of this either.

“Hey, I’ll be back in a second.” I said to Luke before I powerwalked to the ladies’ room that was just inside the library. I found an empty cubicle near the end of the piss-smelling room and dialled my sister’s number, hoping that she’d have some words of wisdom for me.

Ring… Ring…

Ring… Ring

Ring… Rin –

“It’s ya girl, B. Be interesting if you want me to call back!”

[thisaintascenereviews]

The End Of The Year 2017

Well, here we are, folks. It’s the end of the year. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m always excited for the yearend lists to drop. Not even mine, but everyone else’s. I’m always excited to see what everyone’s been into throughout the year. This year, unfortunately, has not been a good year for many people, hell, you could say that about the entire country of the United States. In times of hardship, crisis, and sadness, one thing that has the power to bring people together is music. Music, thankfully, has been awesome this year. It doesn’t even matter the genre, either, whether it’s metal, hip-hop, rock, R&B, or pop, music has been great. We’ve been blessed with a lot of awesome albums throughout the year, and as always, I’ll be highlighting a bunch of them over the course of the next few days. I’m going to doing things a bit different, because I had to do something a bit different. In years past, I’ve posted a different list each day, and that won’t change, but the lists will. I’ve got four lists – the worst of the worst, the best non-metal albums, the best metal albums, and the best of the best. They’re all self-explanatory, but you’ll see what I mean when I actually post them. For starters, I wanted to post my worst of the year list. This list is interesting, because it’s not really my worst of list, per se, because it’s my most disappointing albums of the year, as well as my worst of list, so without further ado, let’s get this party started!

Part I: The Worst Of The Worst

This year has given us a lot of amazing albums, but I wanted to talk about some albums that didn’t quite make the cut for me. By that, well, I mean I wanted to talk about some bad albums. Well, okay, not really. Not all of these albums are bad, per se. If anything, this list goes from least disappointing to, as you guessed it, the worst of the worst. This year, I picked up much more than usual, because I wanted to listen to more stuff, even though I told myself I wanted, but whatever. Because I’ve been able to listen to more stuff, I’ve heard a few more disappointing and/or just plain awful albums. I wanted to talk about briefly, but let me make a quick disclaimer – if you like these albums, or you love them, that’s fine. Go ahead and love them. I hate that I need to say that, as well as remind people that this is my opinion, just in case, I want to do that. I couldn’t care less if you like these albums, because someone’s gotta find these good (and truth be told, the first few that I’ll talk about aren’t that bad, let alone bad at all, I just found them to be boring, disappointing, and forgettable). With that said, though, let’s dive into this list, shall we?

The Disappointments

10. Obey The Brave – Mad Season

Obey The Brave is one of my favorite metallic hardcore bands, and I was excited for Mad Season, but I can’t help but feel disappointed by this. Mad Season, by all definitions, isn’t a bad album, but they took some creative risks with the album that I don’t particularly like. They went with more clean vocals on the album, as well as a more metalcore approach, and it just didn’t work for them. The album itself is fine, and there are some tracks that showcase what they do best, but the album is a bit messy, as well as just not all that interesting, because they have more of a generic metalcore sound in spots. Honestly, it’s still worth a listen, it’s just not anything amazing or worthwhile, and I’m a bit disappointed by it, unfortunately.

9. Prophets Of Rage – Self-titled

Man, this album should be a lot better than it is. I was excited for Prophets Of Rage’s debut LP, because this supergroup featured a lot of talent from the metal and hip-hop scenes, but this LP isn’t all that great. It’s not bad, and the instrumentation is pretty good, but the lyrics are forgettable, boring, and bland as all hell. This LP should be what we need in an era of political strife, but it’s really basic, bland, and just uninteresting. I mean, it’s cool that members of Rage Against The Machine, Cypress Hill, and Public Enemy want to make an album that has something to say, but here’s the issue – there’s nothing all that interesting here. Think of every “political” topic you can think of, and it’s covered here in the most basic, one-note, and one-dimensional terms. While I like the instrumentation quite a lot, and in terms of rap-metal, it’s pretty good stuff, it’s just that the vocals and lyrics don’t offer anything all that interesting or worthwhile, which is a bummer, since Chuck D of Public Enemy in particular helped to pioneer political hip-hop, and Public Enemy even put out a pretty decent album earlier this year, but this just feels boring and lackluster in a few key ways.

8. Eisley – I’m Only Dreaming

I’ve been a huge fan of Eisley for the last ten years, give or take, but I’m Only Dreaming is the first Eisley album that I don’t like very much. The thing is, though, it’s not bad. The reason why I don’t like it very much is that it’s boring, forgettable, lackluster, and uninteresting. This is the first album from this group that I just don’t care about. I totally forgot this came out, too, until I was looking through all of my reviews. I guess the one thing it has going for it is, well, it’s pleasant. It sounds nice, and it’s good background music, but that’s about it. Otherwise, this LP is forgettable and boring background music that just sounds nice. There’s nothing outwardly bad about it, but when Eisley’s other albums have offered something interesting, this one is a generic indie-pop that leaves no impression whatsoever.

7. Old Dominion – Happy Endings

For this list, I wanted to talk about albums that I was excited about in one way or another, versus albums that sucked or that weren’t very good after I listened to them without any context or expectations, but I was kind of excited about the new Old Dominion album. I really enjoyed the lead single of the album, but man, I was let down by the rest of this album. It’s not even that it sucks, either, it’s just so boring. At least their debut LP, Meat And Candy, was interesting, even if it didn’t always work. There was a lot of energy, bombast, and catchiness through it. This one, though, it’s middle of the road, mid-tempo, and just boring beyond belief. I only listened to this a few times before I was just like, “I’m done.” The lead single is great, but the rest of the album is kind of lame. It’s not inherently bad, like I said about the rest of these albums, but it’s not good, either. This is the one that I’d say just isn’t that good.

6. Kehlani – SweetSexySavage

For the last of the disappointments here, this album hit me the hardest, I think, because I was excited for this. Kehlani is an R&B artist I’ve been watching for the last few years, but this LP, SweetSexySavage, was a huge letdown. It’s not that good. I mean, if anything, it’s not horrible, but it’s generic, bland, and utterly lifeless R&B / pop. She took out everything that I enjoyed about her music, and it’s all gone, so we’re left with forgettable song after song. It’s also insanely long, too, and I just can’t get into this thing. I was so bummed about this album, and that’s why it’s the highest disappointment on the list, just because I love Kehlani. Her first couple projects are stellar R&B records, but this one? It’s a boring, lifeless, and forgettable label debut. The worst is, well, I’m not surprised this happened.

The Worst Of The Worst

5. Falling In Reverse – Coming Home

Okay, now we’re hitting the bad albums, and yeah, I can’t say this album is very good. I picked up the new Falling In Reverse album earlier this year, just for curiosity, and I was kind of surprised. They were going into a different direction, and I could definitely get into that, but at the same time, they were just copying bands like Angels And Airwaves and Starset, so it’s like, I could just listen to those bands. Not to mention, the thing that keeps this band at being terrible is Ronnie Radke. His lyrics are trash, his voice is trash, and his personality is trash. This guy is awful, and that’s the main reason why this album is here, even though the instrumentation and production tries pretty hard at being something more interesting, but when your vocalist sucks, well, it’s also pretty hard to come back from that.

4. Nothing More – The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Nothing More is a band that I hate. This band sucks in every single way, but what bothers me about them is that there is potential. Their vocalist is really talented, their instrumentation is really varied and interesting, but they’re so pretentious with how they talk about things, and how they present things. This LP is no better, and if anything, it’s just a bunch of pretentious noise. I don’t understand why rock fans, and music fans in general, go nuts for these guys. They’re not doing anything unique, interesting, or new. It’s the same garbage that we’ve heard over and over. If these guys could write a catchy or interesting song that didn’t meander too long, or throw in tons of pointless interlude tracks that add nothing to the album, I’d probably get into them a bit. I mean, I don’t listen to this kind of music much at all, but I’d be able to respect them more if they weren’t so pretentious about everything. Like I said, I don’t get why music fans and the rock scene is so crazy about this band. They’re not that good, but they have the potential to be, and that’s what bothers me most.

3. Suicide Silence – Self-titled

This one hurts, folks. Only a couple of these on the list hurt, and this is one of them. Suicide Silence’s self-titled album. This album sucks. It’s garbage. There’s no way around it. It’s trash. It’s a garbage nu-metal album that Suicide Silence shouldn’t have made. Now does that mean they have no right to make it? Oh, no, and in a weird way, I respect them for making it, but the same time, it doesn’t mean it’s good. It’s really not. This album is bad from start to finish. Eddie Hermida shouldn’t be singing, but they shouldn’t be a nu-metal band. I think what hurts most, too, is that I picked up a copy of The Cleansing a little bit after the album came out. Mitch Lucker would be rolling his grave if he heard that album. I was lukewarm on Hermida’s debut with the band, but at least it was a deathcore album. This one? It’s not even deathcore. I mean, it doesn’t need to be, but it’s bad. We got one good thing out of this album, and you might be wondering what that is – all of the “teehee” memes. Oh, those bring me great joy.

2. The Bunny The Bear – The Way We Rust

It was a toss-up between which album was worse. I settled for The Bunny The Bear at being number two, though, just because this band is completely irrelevant at this point in time. It’s not 2007 anymore, and “scenecore” is dead, but this band is still making albums. I’m still kind of salty, though, about how their vocalist was a huge piece of shit and insulted me personally when he saw my review, because that’s how you respond to criticism, right? I mean, if you like this band, great, but you’re not exactly going to be making many friends with that opinion. Anyway, this album just plain sucks. It’s garbage in every single way. I listened to this, because I got an advanced copy from their label, so I thought, “Why not?” I was surprised they’re still a thing, and yeah, it sucks. I was hoping it would be good, but it’s not. It’s messy, jarring, awful, and oddly forgettable crunkcore, scenecore, electronicore, whatevercore. This is what was poppin’ on MySpace in 2007. Not in 2017. Get it out of here.

1. Linkin Park – One More Light

My number one pick for the worst album of this year is going to be a tough one for people, including myself, because I wasn’t sure I wanted to put this album on the list, let alone so high. Chester Bennington, the longtime vocalist of the band, passed away earlier this year from suicide. It was a very tough thing for the metal and rock scene to come to grips with, and understandably so. I’m not a fan of Linkin Park at all, even their first couple of albums don’t do a lot for me, but I can’t deny the influence that Linkin Park has had over rock and metal within the last fifteen years. They seem like cool dudes, too, so it’s not like I dislike them personally, but I had to put this year. Plain and simple, One More Light, is a trash album. It’s awful. See, Linkin Park’s last album, 2014’s The Hunting Party, was an album that rubbed me the wrong way. They tried to go “heavier” in an attempt to rope in longtime fans that wanted them to go back to their roots, but the album wasn’t all that good. It wasn’t horrible, but it was clear that they were desperate for ideas. They were ripping themselves off, and yeah, that’s not a good sign. With this one, though, they didn’t rip themselves off, but they went for the one thing they claimed they wouldn’t go – go full pop stardom. This album isn’t a rock album, it’s a pop album, and that’s not inherently a bad thing, because some bands can pull that off (look at Fall Out Boy, for example), but Linkin Park being a pop band? Not exactly. This album reeks of desperation, uninspiration, and tiredness. I mean, it’s got some touching moments, especially now that Bennington is gone, but I can’t say that I feel bad about trashing this. Bennington, as well as the rest of the band, aren’t bad people. This album sucks. Bad music is bad music, no matter who made it, and it’s not like Bennington passed away yesterday, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this, but yeah, this album is awful, and if anything, it’ll be telling to see how Linkin Park moves forward, both in terms of what they’ll do without Chester, as well as what they’ll do with their sound.

[ladytrollfishes]

Reverse Bad End for Daginy and Herlyn!

Herlyn: 

1. Herlyn’s probably going to pick up more responsibility on the road. She’s got some claim to fame after she blew up Granite Guts and someone jacked the video footage of her kicking ass, which isn’t really going to help with the sneaking around situation and the reason why she had to radically change her appearance, but with the ship jacking, she’s probably going to rack up more infamy points and throw it towards the cause.

2. Nanako and Herlyn probably get up to all sorts of black flirting shenanigans tbh. Within reason! Herlyn would trust the imps a lot sooner than Daginy would, and she feels where Nanako’s at with Vadaya, because she’s playing a similar role with Daginy. Plus she’s been third wheeling Mysmus and Daginy, and she really misses her matesprit, so it’s nice to have someone who has an interest in her also. 

3. Herlyn gives like maybe three shits about Vadaya and what’s going on with him. Dude’s like a brick. If she walked up to him and just like knocked on his head, she’s pretty sure it’d echo. What’s up with that? She gets that Daginy cares though, and Nanako cares, so she’ll care!

4. Herlyn totally thinks that Mysmus should be in her place, if they need someone to play hostage. Next time they go back to base, she’s probably gonna be like. Time to hang with Hadean and Sipa. And Orivar too, she guesses. She’ll probably be pretty bored out of her mind, but Daginy trusts the imps not to turn on them more, so they won’t need her as much! Then Daginy crashes and burns so that whole thing gets put on hold. 

5. She’ll be worried about Daginy when they have their break. She’s the only person who’s still with them, from that point in time, since Mysmus came a little after that, and she’s going to get caught between the sense that she doesn’t know how to do this kind of stuff, (help pocket rail :((( ) and the fact that Daginy needs as much safety and security as possible, and she’s the person who knows them the best, except maybe outside of Mysmus. 

She’ll fret! She’s gonna probably ask Mysmus about what he thinks is going on with them, and probably try to loop the imps into being like. Hey Daginy We Like You, Actually, Really, And We Totally Have Your Back, while trying to make sure they have the space they need. 

Daginy

1. This doesn’t just go for this au so maybe cheating! But. Daginy kind of sees their trauma behaviors as sort of just a weird personality quirk. It’s just stuff they do sometimes!!! Pay no mind to the flinching and panic attacks and stuff. Do not interpret it as weakness, do not look at them suffering. :I If they stopped doing stuff at everything they were afraid of they wouldn’t do anything at all. And they absolutely don’t intend to sit on their ass.

2. They don’t really know what they want from Vadaya tbh. It’s a whole lotta weird. They’re seriously projecting onto him their experiences with torture and the way they respond to their own trauma, and it’s really bringing up a lot of those feelings up to the surface esp with Sipa around. They want what’s best for him, which they’re really not entirely sure what that consists of, except that it does not involve ordering him around. They’re afraid of him and they want to be safe, which they could do something about by ordering him around and doing more manipulation until he’s more dependent than he already is, but that seriously offends their sense of morality. They don’t want to shoehorn him into the role of a soldier but they still want him to be useful to the rebellion. Luckily for Vadaya, Daginy puts their sense of morality above just about everything else. And luckily for Daginy, Nanako showing up means looking after Vadaya isn’t all on them and they can get some space from the affair.

3. Daginy doesn’t really know what to make of Hadean either. The Handmaid q schtick is a good idea! Hadean is scary good at pulling it off, and they really do mean scary. Their neighborhood growing up had some p heavy handmaid cult influences and it’s kind of like watching their childhood stories come to life. He can kill with a touch! And he’s tied v closely to Sipara who’ve they had more than one disagreement with. And he’s still nice to them. WHAT DOES HE WANT. (besides McEmpress burgers) 

…May Daginy some day not automatically assume people being nice to them is bc they want something from them.

4. So we’ve been saying that RBEAU takes place about a year after canon events. Vadaya gets captured, that’s probably a couple weeks, then Daginy intervenes, and there’s politics and arguments at the base. It’s probably a couple more weeks before the other imps show up, and then there’s just time spent bumming at Sipa’s base, before Daginy decides they have to leave, so that’s about a month and a half? 

It’ll take awhile to execute Daginy’s plan. Like awhile. They’re not functioning at top capacity and just to formulate it while trying to manage the new people and the paranoia that comes with that probably took weeks. I’d estimate that it’d probably take them maybe five months for that plan to even come together, and its around here that Daginy has a major break down, that will take them almost two months to recover to the point they can just go up to people and have a conversation. So up to the point we’ve discussed, it’d probably be a full sweep from canon events, and nearly a human year since Vadaya got taken. 

5. Talking about their feelings with Vadaya is probably going to help them enormously with the idea that they need to be a Good Leader who is Strong Always, especially when he reciprocates. Like that idea has been obviously fucking untrue from the beginning, and the imps never turned on them before, but like, Daginy learning more about Vadaya and what Vadaya needs, and might actually realize that what Vadaya needs more than Good Strong Leader Who Is Never Sad, is probably just to see how recovery can work. 

And at this point, I think Daginy would realize that their main motivation for being so attached to Vadaya despite, well. Everything, is because they want to see him get better, because maybe that means they can get better too. 

It’ll be awhile after that last big break down before they can be open like that though, even with the rest.