#and not seem to forgive myself for trying so save myself from hurt?

[readychilledwine]

New Beginnings

Summary - Having two mates was never easy, especially when you all had different homes.

Warnings - Readers boyfriends definitely are not boyfriends, references to smut, swearing, drinking

A/N - you all thought I wouldn't try to get my poop in a group for my beloved @polysjmweek? Wrong. I had drafts. I'm forcing myself to post them. @acourtofladydeath, forgive my lateness. And my dropping of many things late. Closed Vs are something we had talked a lot about, and I wanted to make sure to feature one this year! A closed v is a challenging dynamic that requires 3 very secure people, and it felt so right to start my late posting with this. 

This fic was written for day 1 - who's court is it anyways?

SJM Poly+ Week 2025 Masterlist

✨️Master Masterlist✨️

“Mother, save me,” you murmured as Azriel and Eris started arguing again. Life would have been easier if Azriel and Eris were also mates, but the Cauldron decided this was much more entertaining. You sighed and got between them. They’d been arguing for several hours about which court you three would be settling into as a permanent home. Eris wanted to stay in Autumn, and rightfully so, with his chances of being High Lord so high. Azriel believed the Night Court was the best option and that he owed Rhysand his life, possibly even his first born with how loyal he was.

Your home had been immediately denied. “Why would we move to the coldest place in Prythian,” Eris had asked. Azriel immediately had agreed, stating his wings would freeze in the bitter winds of the Winter Court. 

“Rhysand needs me,” Azriel growled at Eris. “My court needs me!”

“So does mine,” Eris shot back. “I will be High Lord some day, and I have to be in Autumn to heal Autumn!” 

You sighed softly, hands on two strong chests as they glared. “Does anyone care what I think?” Both males seemed to relax at the sound of your voice. “Because I think this is ridiculous, and maybe we all aren’t actually ready to move into one home.” The silence that met that statement was deafening. You had spent the last 7 years having to bounce between Autumn and Night. a  week with Ers. A week with Azriel. A week at home, the Mountain House, a quiet comfort. Dating two males, being mated to two males, especially two males who were not interested in each other, was not for the faint of heart. You took a deep breath, eyes closing as you did. “I think we have a great thing,” you continued. “Our relationship and the dynamic we have is special to me, but I worry it isn’t special to you two. I worry that us moving in together will not be with you not-” You paused. “With you two.. Unable to cooperate and get along.”

Eris and Azriel looked at you, eyes so different. Eris was inquisitive, Azriel was stunned. You had never shown any signs of thinking there were issues within the relationship the 3 of you shared, at least, not issues you had acknowledged to them. You were such a relaxed fae and would go where the wind took you. Eris sat down, knowing this was a serious conversation time, not a fun one. He pointed to the chair across from the couch he was on, his rings sparkling on his long finger as you moved and sat. Azriel sat by Eris, leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees. “How long have you felt this way,” Eris was fighting to keep his voice soft. “And why are the two of us just finding out?”

Azriel then added, “And how can we fix it?”

They had similarities, and this process was one of them. They allowed the comfortable silence to fall over the room as you thought and then took a deep breath. “I think I first started feeling this way at our first Starfall all together. I felt pulled and like spending too much time with Azriel disrespected you,” you said to Eris. “But too much time with Eris, and I was hurting you,” you directed at Azriel. “I felt.. Spread so thin.”

Eris nodded in clear thought. He was thinking over everything you had told them first before nodding, wanting you to continue. “I have tried to bring it up to both of you one on one since us in one place rarely happens, but my time with Azriel is spent-”

“Do not finish that sentence,” the Illyrian blushed.

“And my time with Eris is spent acting like the perfect future Lady of Autumn,” you smiled and held in a laugh to Azriel’s sudden shyness.

Eris chuckled, a laugh deep and full like his whiskey, “A shame, really. Sounds like your time with Azriel is much more productive than your time with me. Does she curl her -"

Azriel blushed harder, the faint pinkish-red hiding under his tan skin. “Shut up, Eris. She still has to tell us how to fix it.” They both turned back to you, “Keep talking, salvation.”

It was your turn to blush, the precious nickname Azriel had given you always enough to make your heart flutter and the bond grow warm. “I just would like you two to be friends. For you two to learn to be civil enough that we could spend time as the three of us. I don’t need you two to ever want to have sex, but knowing I could leave you two alone for 2 or 3 hours to head to market without one of you being dead when I came back would be nice.” Both males nodded. 

Another deep breath relaxed the feeling of your heart beating in your chest.  The two of them were studying each other. “It starts with addressing the elephant in the room, Eris,” You said as gently as you could. 

He leaned forward more, taking a moment to center, and he began. He told Azriel everything about his relationship with Mor, the illyrian nodding as Eris explained his choices to Azriel and explained everything he had done was to protect Mor, you, and himself. Azriel then had to explain himself as well, admitting the Night Court had a plan for killing Eris as soon as Morrigan said yes, but they had told Morrigan it would not happen now that Azriel was tied to Eris in a roundabout way. It was several hours of your mates talking, voices low and unhurried. They’d never gotten along this well and for this long. 

The conversation switched at some point, the males going from discussing their issues to the things you had known for a while they shared in common. Dancing being the biggest one. From there it became showing their dagger collection. Discussions on the hounds. Hunting. You.

Beautiful, brilliant you. 

You were the first to retire for the evening, standing in the hall between the guest room and Eris’s. Whenever the 3 of you were together, you had to make a choice on who you slept with each night, bouncing between beds sometimes like it should have been a profession. Soft hands led you by your hips, pushing you into Eris’s room. The warm scent of baked apple and fire was like a pull, drawing you in more and more. Your own hands found the ones holding you, scarred flesh, greeting them. “I think his bed is large enough for all three of us,” a voice like deep night whispered to you. “Think we can make that work? We know how happy it would make you, and it is time for us to try.” If Eris had a scent that pulled like a magnet, Azriel’s was the lock shutting you in. The two mixed, that chilled air and cedar in weaving into fire, felt like the safest combination you had ever wrapped yourself into. 

“I think we’d all fit,” the softness of your voice had him smiling.

“Then lay down. We’ll come in once we finish our drinks.”

And that night, the three of you tucked into one bed together. It felt like something new was beginning. A new chapter. One you had been hoping to welcome for far too long now.

General Taglist:

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[moomuzan]

— 𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔𝖔 𝖋𝖆𝖗

they physically hurt you during an argument , dazai , chuuya , akutagawa , angst , requested

As the fight spiraled into chaos, every word seemed like a jagged shard, cutting both of you open. Dazai stood before you, his expression carefully constructed, a facade of calm that only amplified the storm raging in the room. His words were like knives, precise and cold, but you had learned how to endure them. Or so you thought.

“You think you’re better than this?” he snapped, his voice laced with something darker, more desperate. “Better than me? You don’t even know what you’ve gotten yourself into. You’re so naïve it’s pathetic.”

“Maybe I am,” you shot back, voice trembling but resolute. “But at least I feel something real, Dazai. At least I’m not hiding behind masks and games like you.”

For a moment, the room fell silent, the weight of your words settling between you. His jaw clenched, his hands twitching at his sides. You could see it—the storm breaking through his carefully curated demeanor, the anger and fear he so often buried rising to the surface.

And then, like a thunderclap, it happened.

While his hands moved faster than his mind, shoving you back, his frustration snapped into action. The force wasn’t calculated—it never was—but it sent you stumbling into the wall with a sickening thud. Pain shot up your back, sharp and immediate, and for a moment, the air was knocked clean out of your lungs.

Defeating, merely silence followed.

As if they were still grappling with the weight of what they’d done, his outstretched hands trembled. His eyes widened, the usual nonchalance stripped away to reveal something raw, something terrified.

Hoarse, he whispered your name, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. You pressed a hand to your ribs, wincing as you steadied yourself against the wall. The ache in your side was sharp, but it was nothing compared to the heaviness in your chest, the realization that this—this person, this moment—was no longer safe.

“Don’t touch me,” you managed, your voice trembling, not with anger but with something more fragile.

“I didn’t mean to,” The man said, his words tumbling out in a desperate rush. “I swear, I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean it?” you interrupted, the words bitter as they left your mouth. “You never mean it, Dazai. But that doesn’t stop it from happening, does it?”

Dazai‘s hands fell to his sides, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of your words physically struck him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. For once, Dazai Osamu—the man who always had a plan, a clever retort, a way out—was speechless.

“I can’t keep doing this,” you said, your voice breaking. “I can’t keep forgiving you for the ways you hurt me, for the ways you make me doubt myself. Love isn’t supposed to feel like this.”

In a matter of seconds his expression shattered then, the mask slipping completely. He looked like a man on the edge of something vast and terrible, his usual bravado gone, replaced by a desperation that made your heart ache.

“You can’t leave me,” he whispered, the words barely audible, as if saying them louder might break him entirely. “Please. I don’t know how to do this without you.”

Tears spilling down your cheeks as you stepped toward the door, you whispered: “You don’t know how to love, Dazai.”

He sank to his knees then, his head bowing low as if he were trying to disappear into the floor. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice raw and broken. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to be anything but this. But I love you. God, I love you.”

You froze at the door, your hand gripping the handle so tightly your knuckles turned white. For a moment, you thought about turning back, about kneeling down beside him and telling him that love could be enough, that it could save you both.

But it couldn’t.

“I love you too,” you said quietly, your voice shaking. “But sometimes, love isn’t enough to fix the damage.”

Opening the door, you stepped out into the cold night, the sound of it closing behind you echoing like a gunshot.

Dazai stayed where he was, his body trembling, his hands clutching at the floor as if it were the only solid thing left in his world. The apartment was silent now, save for the sound of his ragged breathing.

He stayed there for hours, alone in the dark, his mind replaying every moment, every mistake, every crack that had led to this. And when the sun rose, spilling light into the room, it illuminated nothing but the hollow emptiness he’d tried so hard to avoid.

In the end, he realized, it wasn’t you he’d been trying to save. It was himself. And now, he had lost both.

,

The argument had begun as a flicker of irritation, something small enough that it could have been smothered if either of you had tried. But neither of you did. It grew, feeding on unspoken frustrations, on misunderstandings too deeply buried to untangle in the heat of the moment.

Lit only by the glow of the streetlights filtering through the blinds, the apartment was dim. Chuuya stood in the middle of the room, his fists clenched at his sides, his chest rising and falling with shallow, ragged breaths. His hat had been tossed carelessly onto the couch, his hair disheveled from running his hands through it in frustration.

“I’m trying to keep you safe!” he shouted, his voice reverberating off the walls.

“You’re not listening to me!” you snapped back, your own voice trembling with the weight of the argument. “You never listen, Chuuya! You think you can decide everything for me, like I don’t have a say in my own life!”

He turned sharply, his blue eyes blazing with a mix of anger and desperation. “You don’t understand what it’s like out there! You don’t know what these people are capable of! I’m doing this for you!”

“For me?” You let out a bitter laugh, tears stinging your eyes. “You’re doing this because you can’t let go of your own fears! You’re so used to fighting everyone else’s battles that you can’t see I’m not the enemy!”

Chuuya’s jaw tightened, the muscles in his face twitching as he tried to rein in the storm inside him. But the storm was relentless, and it spilled out before he could stop it.

“You don’t get it,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “You have no idea what it’s like to carry this kind of weight—to know that one wrong move could mean losing the only person you—”

Though he cut himself off, his voice faltering, the damage was already done. The silence that followed was heavy, oppressive, and it pressed down on both of you like a tangible force.

Taking a step back, your hands trembled at your sides. “I’m not a child, Chuuya. I don’t need you to control every part of my life. I just need you to trust me.”

“Trust you?” His voice rose again, sharp and cutting. “How am I supposed to trust you when you keep putting yourself in danger? Do you think I can just stand by and watch you get hurt?”

As his anger filled every corner, the room felt like it was shrinking, the walls closing in. He moved closer, his movements sharp and unsteady, and before you could step away, his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.

The grip wasn’t meant to hurt—it was meant to stop you, to hold you in place, to make you listen. But it was too tight, too rough, and the heat of his frustration burned through his touch.

“Chuuya,” you said softly, your voice shaking. “Let go.”

But he didn’t. His fingers tightened slightly, his knuckles white as his grip mirrored the storm raging inside him. He was too far gone, too consumed by his own emotions to realize what he was doing.

“Why can’t you just—” His voice cracked, and he stopped, his words hanging in the air like broken glass.

You tried to pull away, but his grip held firm, and panic began to rise in your chest. Memories you had buried deep began to surface, unbidden and cruel.

A voice from your past, cold and unyielding. “You think you can just walk away? You’ll never be free of this. Never.”

Colliding with the past in a whirlwind of fear and pain, the room around you blurred. Your breaths came faster, shallow and uneven, and the tears you had been holding back spilled over, streaming down your cheeks.

“Chuuya,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Please.”

The sound of your voice—cracked, pleading—broke through the fog of his anger. His eyes widened, and for a moment, he froze, as though realizing for the first time what he was doing.

“Shit,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. He released your wrist as though it had burned him, stepping back as if the distance could erase the moment.

Though you cradled your wrist against your chest, your body trembling as you tried to steady your breathing, the fear lingered, a shadow that refused to be banished.

Softly, he called out your name, his voice thick with regret. “I—fuck, I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t—”

Yet, you didn’t answer. You couldn’t. The words caught in your throat, strangled by the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.

Chuuya’s hands hovered in the air, unsure whether to reach for you or keep his distance. His eyes, usually so fierce and determined, were filled with something you had never seen before—fear.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words barely audible. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Bluntly, you looked up at him then, your eyes filled with tears, and for the first time, he saw the crack in your armor—the vulnerability you had always tried so hard to hide. And it broke him.

He sank to his knees in front of you, his head bowed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’m a fucking idiot,” he muttered, his voice trembling. “I never wanted to hurt you. I—” He stopped, his words failing him, and he let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to love someone without breaking them.”

As you watched him, your heart ached at the sight of him so utterly wrecked. And despite everything, despite the fear and the pain, you found yourself reaching out, your hand brushing against his cheek.

Looking up at you then, his eyes were filled with anguish, and for a moment, the storm between you seemed to quiet.

“Chuuya,” you said softly, your voice still trembling. “We can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep—”

“I know,” he said quickly, cutting you off. “I know, and I swear, I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just—don’t walk away. Please.”

The desperation in his voice broke something inside you, and you nodded, though you weren’t sure if it was forgiveness or hope or something in between.

But as he pulled you into his arms, his grip careful and gentle this time, you couldn’t help but wonder if the cracks in your relationship were too deep to mend. And in the quiet of the room, as the storm finally subsided, you both realized that love wasn’t always enough to fix what had already been broken.

,

Always being harsh, Akutagawa’s words were sharp enough to wound, his presence suffocating like a shadow that never left your side. He wasn’t kind, not in the way others might be, but he cared in his own jagged, brutal way—protecting you with the same ferocity he used to destroy. You were his tether, his calm amidst the storm of his life in the Mafia, the one person who softened the edges of his wrath. But even tethers could fray, and that day on the battlefield, everything unraveled.

Unraveling so, the fight was chaos, the kind of chaos Akutagawa thrived in. His Rashoumon tore through enemies like paper, his focus deadly, precise. You stood at his side, as you always did, fighting with everything you had to survive in a world that rarely spared you kindness. But the enemy was relentless, and the tide of the battle began to shift.

“Stay back!” he barked, his voice cutting through the noise. His tone was sharp, impatient, but beneath it lay something unspoken—a thread of fear he refused to acknowledge.

“I can handle this!” you shot back, your determination blazing in your eyes.

Yet Akutagawa’s patience, already worn thin by the heat of battle, snapped. “You’re a liability,” he snarled, Rashoumon lashing out in a violent arc, meant to clear the way and shield you from the enemy closing in.

He miscalculated.

Instead, the tendrils of his power struck you, slicing through flesh and bone, sending you crumpling to the ground with a scream that cut through the battlefield like a blade. Blood pooled beneath you, stark against the dirt, and Akutagawa froze, the world narrowing to the sight of your broken body lying in the wreckage of his mistake.

Afterwards, the fight ended in a blur, your enemies retreating as the full weight of his actions crashed down on him. He dropped to his knees beside you, his hands trembling as he reached out, unsure if he even had the right to touch you now. “Stay awake,” he ordered, his voice unsteady, the fear breaking through. “Don’t you dare close your eyes.”

Coughing weakly, blood stained your lips as you looked up at him, pain and betrayal flickering in your gaze. “You… you did this,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Akutagawa’s chest tightened, his breath catching as the truth of your words settled over him like a noose. He did this. To you. To the one person he swore to protect above all else.

The weeks that followed were a blur of pain and silence. You survived, but the scars—both visible and invisible—ran deep. You couldn’t look at him the same way, flinching when he raised his voice, shrinking away when his hands moved too quickly.

Trying to fix it in his own way— he muttered cold apologies under his breath, offers to train you harder so you wouldn’t need his protection, promises he didn’t know how to keep. But nothing worked. The damage was done.

One night, the tension broke.

“You don’t trust me anymore,” he said, his voice low but laced with a bitterness that cut through the room.

Slowly, you turned to him, your eyes tired, your body still healing from wounds he had inflicted. “How could I?” you replied, your voice trembling. “You’re supposed to protect me, Ryuunosuke. Not—” Your voice broke, and you looked away, unable to finish.

For a moment, he said nothing, his jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. Then, with a voice that was quieter than you’d ever heard, he said, “I know.”

And he did know. He knew the pain he caused, the fear that lingered in your eyes whenever you looked at him now. He knew he had crossed a line he could never uncross.

Knowing didn’t make it easier. It didn’t make the silence between you any less deafening, or the nights spent alone any less cold. It didn’t stop him from replaying that moment over and over in his mind, the sight of you bleeding because of him seared into his memory like a brand.

He still loved you, but love wasn’t enough to undo what he had done. It wasn’t enough to erase the fear in your eyes or the distance growing between you. And now, as he stood in the shadows, watching you from afar as you tried to rebuild yourself, he wondered if it would have been kinder to let you go entirely.

Yet, Akutagawa didn’t know kindness. He only knew how to hold on, even when it hurt. Even when it was the last thing he deserved.

<3

[nebulaafterdark]

Exile (Part 5)

Summary: Y/N Undersee thought the games were over after becoming a victor. Unfortunately, life outside the arena has become just as dangerous. Prequel to Moves & Countermoves

Trigger warning: forced prostitution, explicit sexual content, alcohol abuse and other mentions of trauma. 18+ ONLY

SoTR Spoilers

Part 4

“Sorry I…freaked out.” Are the first words out of Y/N’s mouth, the moment she realizes that Haymitch is awake.

“I’m sorry you’re in pain.” If she were bleeding on the outside, there are things he could do to help. A bandage, a tourniquet, kiss it better. There is almost nothing he can do to stop her from bleeding on the inside.

“It hurts less when you’re here.”

“I’ll be here.” Haymitch vows. He’ll hold his hand over her broken heart and apply steady pressure to her wound. He’ll make it better.

“But you won’t let me get too close.”

“You’re plenty close.” This is all there is. All that’s left of me and it’s yours.

“Snow’s gonna use me against you anyway.”

Haymitch huffs a laugh. “I’m very aware.”

“I meant what I said.” Y/N reminds him, “I won’t leave.”

“I’m not afraid of you leaving.” Good on you if you get away.

“Then what are you afraid of?”

Haymitch pauses for a long moment to consider, weighing the risks and benefits of telling her everything.

Forgive me, Lenore Dove and know that I do not love her like all-fire. I love her much gentler than that. No more and no less. I love her softly as the mangled sunflower held precariously together with Maysilee’s glue made of flour and spit.

“There was a girl…someone I loved.”

Y/N nods.

“Snow killed her too, not just my family.”

“Haymitch,” Y/N sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Being happy with you feels like I’m-”

“Betraying her?”

“I thought I’d never…” love again.

“Thank you for telling me.” Y/N rests her hand over his. It all makes a little more sense now.

Once he starts talking, the dam breaks, with every dirty detail pouring through the cracks.

Her name was Lenore Dove.

She was eternally proud of her Covey roots.

She loved the woods.

She believed there was freedom outside the districts.

“She used to raise geese.”

“Makes sense.” Y/N lifts a shoulder.

“In what way?” Haymitch laughs.

“You’re like a goose,” she tells him. Taciturn, loyal to a fault.

“You might be onto something.” If I tell her that I love her, Snow will surely kill her, somehow, someway. Maybe he’ll make me do it myself. But if I never get the chance to tell her, it will surely kill me…and as she once confessed in the arena, Y/N is afraid of being alone. “We gotta get ready.” The tributes are waiting.

It must feel better, getting it off his chest. One day maybe she could talk about…things. The things that upset her mother enough her father forbade Y/N of speaking on them.

“Do you think that…. maybe with a good sponsor we could save one of them? If so, which one?” The boy or the girl?

“The girl.” He decides, “a good sponsor isn’t gonna save her from the careers but if she plays her cards right…maybe.” She’s not going to leave her kid brother behind.

“Ok.” Y/N nods.

————————————————————————

“When the gong sounds, don’t forget to run, grab a pack of supplies if you can. Search for water and high ground.” Y/N reminds Maximus, on the elevator to the hovercraft.

During Haymitch’s…sabbatical from mentoring, Y/N had to decide which tribute to join in the elevator. Usually the child who seemed most afraid. To bring some sort of comfort to them in their final moments. Last year she took the girl and Haymitch the boy, now they’ve switched.

Maximus is shaking and trying hard to hide it. “When will I see my sister?”

“Denali is waiting for you on the hovercraft, you’ll be together there.” Y/N assures him.

The boy nods, “thank you for trying to get us sponsors. It was real nice of you.”

“Honey, you have sponsors.” Y/N says, “all you need to worry about is-”

“Water, high ground, grab a pack if we can.”

“Yeah,” Y/N smiles, gnawing at the inside of her cheek.

“Do we hug or something?” He asks as the elevator doors open.

“We can.”

“Just don’t tell my sister.” Maximus insists, wrapping his arms around his mentor.

“Ok,” Y/N rests her cheek against the top of his head. Feeling the bones of his shoulder blades beneath her hand. Even though he hasn’t got much of a shot, she will not turn her back on this little boy.

“Time to go,” a peacekeeper reaches in through the open doors, dragging the boy away.

“I’ll be watching the whole time,” you won’t be alone. “Don’t be afraid.”

————————————————————————

The viewing room is full, with Capitol higher ups crowding around Y/N. Naturally the cameras follow.

“Look at you! So beautiful.”

“Your dress is a masterpiece.”

“Y/N! Did you see?” A particularly eccentric woman, wearing some sort of orange fur, motions to her nose. “Just like yours.”

Over the woman’s shoulder, Haymitch is laughing it up with a man she’s not familiar with.

“Wow,” Y/N smiles. “That is very nice.”

“I know the best surgeon. Everyone who is anyone-”

Y/N catches a glimpse of Cecelia, a fellow victor, from district eight. The first year Y/N came to mentor alone, most of the victors had already settled into cliques.

They were all polite enough, but no one was overly eager to explain the sponsorship system or how to send parachutes once she raised the money.

“You have to take the money up to the table and select from the menu.” Cecelia whispers.

“Oh, uh…thank you.” Y/N nods.

“Are you here by yourself?”

“Yes.”

Cecelia purses her lips, “you can sit with me if you want.”

Y/N sits with her for the next two years. Until last year, when she convinced Haymitch to join her, effectively sparking Snow’s curiosity.

The Capitol woman is still talking.

“Would you mind showing my husband?” Y/N asks. “He’s going to love this.”

“Of course!”

“Haymitch,” Y/N hails him over.

“You better go.” The Capitol man claps him on the back. “We mustn’t leave your lovely bride waiting.”

Haymitch’s blood runs cold. Did you watch? No. He stops himself. Knowing won’t help anyone. Instead he nods, stepping a few feet away to wrap a protective arm around his wife.

“This is my new friend, Synchrony.” Y/N tells him.

Some part of the woman is familiar to him, though he can’t put a finger on it. “Haymitch. Nice to meet you.” He extends a hand, which the woman swiftly takes.

“Likewise.”

“She was just showing me her nose.”

Her nose…your nose?

“Almost an exact replica.” Synchrony gushes.

“What do you think?” Y/N turns her head, so he can see from all angles.

“Well,” Haymitch chuckles. “It’s a great nose.”

“I thought so too.” The woman says, before flitting away at the sound of the anthem. “The games are about to begin.”

Y/N surveys the room, District one is cocky, as usual. Gloss, last year’s victor, has a sister who volunteered. And he couldn’t be more proud.

“District one, number one!” He exclaims at the sight of his younger sister lined up on her pedestal.

Her long blonde hair is held away from her face in two intricate braids. Cashmere.

Denali and Maximus have been placed at a notable distance, with careers on either side of the boy.

Haymitch sighs. She’s not gonna be able to get to him.

The surrounding forest seems to chitter with a life all its own. Cameras pan over the trees, revealing the horrors within. Spider mutts with fangs dripping venom and glowing red eyes. Weaving glistening webs, large enough to catch their human prey.

“Spider forest.”

“Not my favorite.” Y/N shifts closer to Haymitch.

The games begin with the sound of cannon and the tributes are off. Denali makes a mad dash for the cornucopia, grabbing two packs and a weapon. She does manage to reach her brother. They are nearly to the trees when Maximus takes a spear through his spine.

It’s the boy from two.

“Wooohooo, let’s go two.” His mentors rejoice.

First blood is always celebrated…by those who partake in celebrating death.

In a blind rage, Denali charges the careers, wielding her blade as though she’s trained for years to do it. She manages to take out the male from one, now abandoned by his partner.

Perhaps Cashmere did not consider the careers could become the target of a grieving girl from twelve.

Denali runs her weapon through the girl from two, after taking a good beating herself. Saving the boy for last.

“I was just playing the game.” He stammers, realizing that he will now have to take on the crazed girl, hand to hand. No more spear. No weapon at all.

“Game over.” Denali murmurs, all the light has left her eyes. She does not fear death. She has nothing to live for, apart from killing her brother’s murderer. She feels no pain.

Her cannon sounds not long after the boy from two’s, as though she hung on just long enough to hear it.

“I’ve gotta hand it to you, twelve.” Gloss calls, raising his glass to Y/N and Haymitch, “that was one hell of a show.”

I hope you choke.

————————————————————————

The viewing room begins to clear out around sunset. With both their tributes gone, the Abernathys are expected to attend the nightly festivities. Plutarch Heavensbee is hosting tonight.

Y/N excuses herself to the restroom before they’re escorted to a second location. In the fleeting moments, standing before her reflection at the sink mirror, Y/N has a moment to process what has happened.

Grabbing for the pristine white hand towel and dabbing it directly along her waterline. A trick Vanity taught her.

‘I do not care if you cry. Just don’t ruin your makeup.’

She used to cry more, in those first years after the games. Like a faucet that never stopped running.

“Are you ok?” A voice to her left whispers, announcing their presence.

“Cecelia,” Y/N whispers back.

“This is the only place the cameras don’t follow you these days, huh?” Her friend remarks. “That’s what happens when you buy into their agenda.”

“You think I bought into the Capitol?”

“You married your least favorite person in the world.” The woman lifts a shoulder. “If that’s not selling out, I don’t know what is.”

“I didn’t sell out, they were gonna sell me.” Y/N fights the urge to scream at the top of your lungs.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” Cecelia blanches.

“You could’ve asked,” Y/N snaps.

They stand in uncomfortable silence for a moment.

“They didn’t though, did they?” Sell you?

“They…recorded us. And sold it.” Y/N lowers her voice even further.

“Jesus Christ.” Cecelia’s stomach turns. “B-because you’re married? Do they do that to all victors?”

“Cecelia, I don’t know.” Y/N shakes her head.

Terror etches itself into the features of her face.

“I think it’ll be ok.” Y/N decides, “Teddy isn’t a victor. If they wanted to sell you, they would’ve done it by now.”

Cecelia nods.

“Just don’t draw any unnecessary attention.”

“Y/N,” Cecelia breathes. “You draw the attention.”

“Oh.” Oh, that hurts. It burns.

“They don’t care what I do, they never have. I’m not terribly interesting, or knowledgeable or pretty, I’m just Cecelia. The cameras and the people only hung around-”

“Because of me,” Y/N finally understands.

“It’s probably best if we…” keep our distance.

“Yeah,” Y/N twists the obnoxious diamond of her engagement ring around her finger.

————————————————————————

The Heavensbee estate is sizable, while lacking the grandiosity of President Snow’s mansion.

“Welcome, welcome.” Plutarch himself greets them. “Can I get you anything? Wine? Champagne?”

“How about some real liquor? Don’t hold out on me, Plutarch.” Haymitch says, keeping hold of Y/N’s hand, as they step over the threshold.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Plutarch grins. “Follow me.”

Party goers smile and wave as they pass, making their way to Plutarch’s personal stash. He hands Haymitch a bottle of deep caramel liquor.

Haymitch uncorks it, lifting the bottle to his nose and inhaling with an appreciative hum.

“Two glasses?” Plutarch looks to Y/N now.

“No thanks,” Y/N shakes her head, “just for Haymitch.”

Plutarch doesn’t argue. Reaching quickly for a crystal tumbler, before Haymitch can begin chugging directly from the bottle.

“Thank you,” Haymitch fills his cup to the brim.

“Of course.” Plutarch replies, “I was hoping you’d show.”

“Why’s that?”

“I haven’t had a chance to properly introduce myself to your wife.”

“Nice to meet you,” Y/N extends her hand for a shake. “I’m Y/N.”

“Plutarch,” he grips her hand, firmly, before releasing. “I know you’re the talk of the town, so I won’t take up too much of your time.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you.”

“Would you join me for a game of chess?”

“Sure,” Y/N catches Haymitch’s gaze as Plutarch begins leading her away.

If she were in any real danger he would follow, but he doesn’t. Leaving only Y/N, Plutarch and his chessboard, in a room unsuitable for a party.

“You’ll have to forgive the mess, I don’t have many visitors here.”

“The all exclusive chess room,” Y/N deadpans, “everybody has one.”

The man chuckles. “I assume you know the rules.”

“My dad and I used to play.”

“Wonderful! You’re a shoe in. Please, sit.” Plutarch motions to the chair.

Despite the layer of dust and cobwebs covering a majority of the room, the purple velveteen chairs are perfectly preserved.

Y/N takes a seat, his pieces are red to her white. “This is a beautiful set.” Handcrafted, down to the pawns.

“It was a gift.” Plutarch says, making his first move.

Y/N considers trying to get more out of him, but it’s late and she doesn’t care all that much. Instead she moves her own piece into place. Her favorite play is the Queen’s Gambit, but he’ll surely be expecting that. She’ll have to take a quieter approach.

He’s paying more attention to the way she moves than the number of pieces she captures.

What’s your game, Plutarch?

“See that?” Plutarch grins, “you won.”

“I don’t give a shit about winning the game, I want to break the board.” Y/N smiles, in return.

“Life is a series of choices, much like chess. If you break the board, there will be a new board. You’ll get where you’re going a lot faster if you learn to play the game.” The man says, “moves and countermoves.”

Part 6

Taglist: @spideysimpossiblegirl @ancientbeing10 @1-800-styles @l3xi3luv @lam-ila @druby2011-blog @liballer @readinginthe-am @rae-11 @champomiel @mariechristine00 @solacestyles @inky-sun @dadbodfanatic-x @sandorcleganeslutt @indigoashh @mustainelove @darkened-writer @ch3rrybutterfly @boredomquest @theladyofmanyfandomsofficial @kisskittenn @kwllakka @feeblemindedfool @oopsieikilledan @that-one-fangirl69 @just-levyy @thisisthepartwhereishutup @alixxhere @quackitys-amor @pepelachanel @lurkingsparrow @faithalsip09 @cwallace02sblog

[fatescaprice]

saving u from mr capitalist with (kind of) gut wrenching ideas from my insane brain but. can you imagine if you get into a heated argument with argenti or jingyuan and they accidentally break one of your gifts for them, it could be a complete accident like maybe accidentally hitting it off the table but how do you think they'll immediately react to it and what would they try to do to remedy the situation?

argenti and jing yuan after an argument

content warnings: none

note: thank u for the brief respite between mr capitalist asks!!! after this i am jumping back into the fray . with the leaks that came out this week i guess i shouldn't have been surprised but i learn something new every day i guess

thank u for this request . i made myself upset . also this is myfirst time writing jy so if he's a little ooc ummmm don't tell me directly im sensitive (JOKE)!!!! anyways. i hope u enjoy :]

The flash of regret in ARGENTI's eyes is both intense and immediate: a stinging shock, like the thorn of a rose piercing his skin. He says time and time again that he would do nothing to forsake you, and yet… Ah, had he grown so blind in his search for Idrila that he forgot the beauty he holds in his arms each night?

He reaches out for you first, as he always does — his gaze searching almost desperately to meet yours, his hand reaching to brush your cheek. Love, please, look at him, he’ll do anything you wish, as long as you just say the word. Believe him when he says he's already long forgotten what you had been arguing about to begin with — Argenti had lost the second he saw the pang of hurt cross your face.

Good words and deeds are normally his strong suit, but seeing the hurt look on your face made him falter, hesitant. He wants to prove himself deserving of you again, he'll say, taking your hands delicately, like glass — so please, tell him what he must do. Shall he fell a great beast? Bring you a pearl from the deepest seas of Thalassa? Now and always, he’s your loyal knight, forever at your beck and call. No task would be too great, no distance too wide — all Argenti wants is to be worthy to wipe away the tears from your cheeks again.

JING YUAN’s regret flows inwards, towards himself — was this behaviour fitting of a general? Was this behaviour worthy of you? He seems almost resigned, contemplative, though in the heat of the moment it comes off more like indifference.

That doesn’t mean he is indifferent, though — the implication that he doesn’t care about you hurts him more than any conceivable mortal words or blades. No, he just thinks it’s better that you both have some space, so neither of you can say anything you might regret. He has far too many of those already, and he doesn’t want you to be another entry on that list.

He’ll little gifts for you, quite like a cat leaving things at your door — an apology, a peace offering, a sign of his devotion. A box of your favourite food from that place you frequent in the Exalting Sanctum, or a piece of jewellery you had mentioned wanting to buy. Jing Yuan knows he can’t win you over with gifts — neither of you are so shallow — but he hopes that when he comes to your door with more than just an apology on his lips, you’ll come to forgive him.

[nexiva]

You made me hate you

Part 4

Bucky x reader

Warnings: ok now they really hate each other, really angsty part and a lot of swearing (again)

Summary: A not so nice morning in the kitchen with Sam and Bucky

A/N: I couldn’t wait any longer haha so enjoy this part :)

Masterlist

Five months. Five months of avoiding each other like the plague. And when we do run into each other? Jesus Christ, even Captain America himself would bolt from the room.

Barnes has gotten a little more… how do I put it? Confident. In the wrong way. About three months ago, he was still trying to talk to me, still trying to convince me—just like everyone else. But I wouldn’t give in. I would never forgive him. Maybe after all this time, it seems childish, but I didn’t care. I stood firmly on my ground.

And once everyone realized I wasn’t going to change my mind, that’s when things started heating up. Barnes was starting to get so cocky. The worse my remarks got, the more he started snapping back at me. I could see I was driving him insane—not that it was my intention. I just didn’t want to see him. But since he was already there, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing sharp comments his way. Until, finally, he had enough and started fighting back.

“Fuck, Sam, I swear I tried everything. But she wouldn’t even let me get a word in. I’m so done with this. Guess some amends just can’t be made.”

I walked into the kitchen with every intention of ignoring Barnes and making myself a great breakfast.
“Morning, Wilson.”
“Hey, Y/L/N.”

I could tell Sam was uncomfortable, but that didn’t stop him from asking a stupid question.
“So, Bucky and I were about to go for a run. Do you wanna join us?”

Oh God. Pathetic.

Barnes practically choked on his coffee, barely stopping himself from suffocating (what a shame that would be).

“If I were you, I wouldn’t let him outside. He might ‘accidentally’ run over someone and then claim he was forced to do it.”

Oh, I knew that one was going to hurt. But it rolled off my tongue so sweetly that I couldn’t stop myself.

Barnes threw his cup against the wall. Sam flinched slightly.

“You are a cunt, you know that?”

Bucky stepped closer like he was about to throw hands. I got up immediately.

“What? You gonna kill me too now? Finally finish collecting the whole family, asshole?”

And he just stared.

Nothingness in his eyes.

I wanted it to hurt. I wanted him to feel exactly the way I did. But strangely, there was no satisfaction in seeing him suffer. It wasn’t as enjoyable as I had imagined. So much time had passed, my rage had only grown, and yet… I couldn’t put a name to that stupid feeling inside me. Oh no, it definitely wasn’t sympathy or guilt—it was just exhausting.

For the first time, I saw something in his eyes. Fear?

I didn’t care to figure it out. Not at that moment.

“Fuck you,” was all he said before leaving the kitchen.

I sat down with a small smirk but also with a hint of uncertainty (hopefully, it didn’t show).

“Um, so that went well?”

Sam, not knowing what else to do, sat down with me.

“Y/N, aren’t you tired of this?”

The bastard could actually read my mind sometimes.

“Despite everything, you two have a lot in common. He was under HYDRA, you had NEXUS. You really should—”

I couldn’t listen to him any longer.

“Despite everything? You mean the fact that he killed my sister? And HYDRA? NEXUS? We have nothing in common. I never killed anyone for someone else. No one ever controlled me like some brainless puppet!”

“Because Fury saved you! You little brat! You think you wouldn’t have done the same as him if Nick hadn’t stepped in?”

Silence.

A long, awkward silence.

I had no idea how to respond. And I sure as hell wasn’t about to admit he was right—even if he was.

“I wonder if you’d say the same thing about him if Fury hadn’t shown up back then. You need to get it together, Y/N, because everyone is tired of your shit.”

Sam stood up, looked at me, and walked out.

I couldn’t admit he was right. I couldn’t get rid of the fog in my head. That horrible memory.

I refused to back down.

The kitchen felt emptier than before.

Sam’s words hung in the air like a goddamn storm cloud, suffocating me, pressing against my chest. "Everyone is tired of your shit."

I clenched my fists. Fuck him. Fuck them all. They didn’t get it. They weren’t the ones who had to wake up every morning and remember that someone ripped their soul apart like it was nothing. They weren’t the ones who had to stand in the same room as the murderer and pretend like he was just another member of the goddamn team.

I grabbed a piece of toast and took a slow bite, staring at the shattered ceramic from Bucky’s cup still lying on the floor. Someone else could clean it up. I wasn’t going to.

The compound was quiet now, except for the faint hum of the fridge and the distant sound of traffic outside. I let myself breathe. But my hands were still shaking.

Then I heard it—the door slamming shut.

I exhaled through my nose, already knowing who it was.

“What the fuck do you want now, Barnes?”

Silence.

I turned my head slightly, and there he was, standing in the doorway, arms crossed, jaw tight. He looked like he hadn’t cooled down one bit since storming out of here a few minutes ago.

“I’m not done talking.”

I let out a dry laugh. “That’s funny, I could’ve sworn you told Sam you were done trying.”

His nostrils flared. Good. I wanted him angry. I wanted him to feel something.

He took a step forward. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Y/N.”

I shot him a look. “Oh, I don’t? Enlighten me. Please.”

His eyes darkened. “You think you’re the only one who lost someone? You think you’re the only one who wakes up every day hating the person in the mirror?”

That caught me off guard. For a second. But I didn’t let it show.

“The difference between us, Winter Soldier?” I stood up, stepping closer until there were just inches between us. “I lost my family. You were the one pulling the goddamn trigger.”

He swallowed hard. I saw his fingers twitch—just slightly. Like he wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Or grab something. Maybe grab me.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he let out a bitter chuckle and looked down.

“You think I don’t know that?” His voice was lower now. Tighter. “Every goddamn day, I think about the people I killed. I hear them screaming in my fucking head. And you?” He shook his head, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. “You don’t even want revenge anymore. You just want something to be angry at.”

I stiffened.

He saw it. He fucking saw it, and I hated him for it.

“Go to hell, Barnes.”

His lips curled into a humorless smirk. “Already been there, sweetheart.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and left, leaving me standing there, fists clenched, pulse racing, and for the first time in a long time—completely speechless.

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Him.

Warning: Abuse, Angst/comfort, crying, blood.

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader

Summary: Hyunjin saves you from an abuse relationship.

Hey😆 if you don’t like graphic things please don’t read. Thank you! Not the best one shot but yeah hope you enjoy it :))

-🩷

**

"Alex please! I'm sorry!" I yelp as I scrumble on the floor trying to get away from my now angry boyfriend. My hands trembled and my body was now vigorously shaking on the ground.

This had been going on for 30 minutes and I was exhausted and dehydrated. My hands were slippery from the blood that laid on them. All my senses were gone at this point but he kept going and going.

"You'll be actually sorry when I'm done with you," his fist connecting with my chin as I scream in pain from the constant beating of his hands against my limbs. His steps were loud and his breathing was even louder. His face occasionally getting really close to mine.

"Please forgive me! I didn't mean it! Alex please!" I get on all my fours and take a few crawls away from his standing figure but his hands wrapped around around my ankle and yanked me back to his body.

He had a smirk on his face. He enjoyed this. I knew he did but the constant manipulation and lying words tricked my mind into thinking that maybe he was just stressed or tired or maybe I did something to trigger him whenever this would happen.

This time was done I know I had to get away somehow. I knew that if I didn’t leave him I would end up dead or I could put anyone at risk with him around.

I’m ripped away from my thoughts and prayers when his voice booms into my eardrums. A ringing sound now playing really loudly.

"You think you can be a little slut huh?! You think you can get away with this shit?! You're fucking pathetic!"

My eyes are glued to his body. His arms were both grasping and digging into my flesh. Small whimpers are leaving my mouth. I couldn’t see anything due to the tears that fogged my site but I knew he was so proud of himself.

He knew he could control me. He thought I wouldn’t leave him but this time I was thinking about it. Thinking about getting here alive.

I pray that it’s all over when he just glared at me and it is when he spits on me and walks away. His saliva is hot against my face. My body laying on the ground as I tried to get energy to get up. I slowly look up to see if he was still In the room but thankfully he was gone.

The slamming front door confirms it.

The world seemed to be moving in slow motion. The plate that was once neatly stacked with food was now on the floor and shattered.

Pillows were everywhere and the painting Hyunjin had made me was now ripped on the floor.

Heavier sobs leave my mouth as I slowly get up but I’m unable to. My body wouldn’t allow it. My shaking arms couldn’t support the weight. My breathing was getting worse but the sound is covered with my phone was ringing non stop.

Hyunjin's name popping up time and time again.

The warm sension of blood oozed from my nose. The throbbing pain of my nose and now black eye lingered. My body ached.

This was a normal thing tho. Alex didn't have the best temper and I knew that. It was my fault.

I knew he didn't like his food served at this hour but yet I thought that if I somehow convinced him to eat now I could go out later to hangout with the guys. He didn’t like them at all but he always found himself around us trying to make a point about who could come near me and who couldn’t.

I slowly help myself up by leaning on the couch.

My arms were bruised and the breaths I would try to take hurt really bad. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. I limp towards the messy area trying to clean it before he came back. Before he would have another reason to snap.

The apartment was quiet. Khami was locked in his cage. The lights were dim and the kettle was boiling.

It was the knock on the door that got me out of my trance. My neck snapping towards it.

Who could be out there? Everyone knew not to come announced. The more I thought about it the more scared I got. Was it the neighbor? Did someone call the cops?

I try to avoid the door but the knocks get more frantic and loud. Hyunjin's voice now coming through.

"Y/n?! Y/n it's me! Please open the door. Are you hurt?! I can see your shoes out here! I know you’re in there!”

**

I was in the kitchen when Alex had come into the room. He was wearing his work suit and a smile played on his lips. He placed a kiss on my forehead and sets his briefcase on the table.

"Hey love, how was your day?" He asks. I look over at him and give him a tiny smile.

"It was good and yours?" I automatically ask him. My hands were stirring the cooking pot and the kettle of warming water sat besides the sauce pan.

"Yeah just tired,” he tans and furrows his eyebrows while looking at his watch “what are you doing?"

I run my hands nervously and turn towards him.

"Oh I'm just making you a plate of food before I go,"

"Go where?" His eyes furrow and I gulp, "remember I told you that I was going out with the guys? You let me go,”

"Go where? I don't remember this," his eyes squint "why would you go out with the boys?"

"Baby remember when I asked you?" I frown and look up at him. My hands play with the strings from the apron.

"You’re not going-" his voice is firm and now he is towering over me.

"But babe-"

"I said you’re not going and it's final," he snaps before turning around and leaving the room.

I let out a sigh thinking that maybe he was just in a bad mood but nevertheless a no was a no.

I put everything down and pull out to phone Chan who wasn't picking up so the next best option was Hyunjin.

"Hyunjin?" I say softly,

"Hey! How are you?" He beams through the phone. His voice was soft yet excited. The thought of no seeing them hurt my heart. I had been avoiding them due to the clear visual bruises that lay on my body from the fight I had gotten in either Alex a few days ago.

They were all so attentive when I was around them so I knew it wasn’t a good idea to be around when I was covered in bruises. Too many questions.

I begin to explain, "Oh I just come today, I'm sorry-"

"What? This is the 3rd time you've cancelled this week," his voice is layered with confusion, “are you trying to avoid me because of the kiss?”

My heart stops beating for a second and butterflied start to invade my stomach. It was definitely not because of that. I start to blush, I feel it.

"No Hyun it’s because Alex-"

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" A voice booms causing me to jump. I turn to see Alex stood by the door. His frame covering everything.

"It's no one Alex it's just Hyunjin,” I try to explain,

"Hello? Y/n? Is that Alex?" I hear Hyunjin's voice from the other side of the phone before glass shatters causing me to drop the phone.

"What the fuck is your probekm you bitch?!" He yells and charges at me.

"Alex no! I was just-"

I feel a hot sting on my cheek and my body being pulled by my hair to the living room.

I let out a scream causing him to let go and put his palm against my mouth

“Shhh don’t say a word, why the fuck are you telling Hyunjin about our business? Huh?! Is he part of our relationship?!” My eyes go wide and I frantically shake my head no. I can fear the tears starting to form in my eyes.

He lets go of my mouth and I take on a deep breathe trying to regulate my breathing. Trying to get away but my body is thrown to the floor.

“Alex please! Please I won’t do it again! I’m sorry,” a squeal leaves my mouth as I grab my rib cage that was now on fire because of the impact.

His eyes were dark and his fists were clenched and red from the previous fights we had gotten into. He was wearing his normal sweatpants, Shirt and his hair was a mess.

“Do you think you can play me?!” His voice booms through the room.

“No no no , I love you Alex-“

“Then act like it!” He is calm for a second before charging at me again causing me to scream in fear, “You’re the fucking problem. You little pathetic nobody!” His hand wraps around my neck trying to grab me off the floor.

My hands automatically try to remove his finger but his grip is too tight causing me to lack air. Not to breathe.

“Seems you don’t listen? Today I’m going to discipline you again.”

**

“H-Hyunjin go away please!” I whisper through the door.

“No Y/n! open the door right now or I’m calling the cops,” he threatens. My body goes cold, what could I possibly do?

“No no no! Please don’t!” Panic feels me before my shaky hands slowly open the door and a peep through the little crack.

“What is it hyun?” I whisper. I examine him. His wearing a flannel and some jeans. His airforces on and his jyp budge attached to his shirt meaning he had come from the studio.

“I heard everything Y/n open then door please?” His eyes are soft, warm and glistening.

“No-no you can’t Alex-“ by the time I try to finish the sentence he had managed to push himself through, frantically looking around the room.

“Is that son of a bitch gone?” He looks over at me when his done looking around the room.

“Yes yes- Hyunjin you have to go- he might be back-“ he takes a step back and looks at me in horror.

“Your face-“ he gasps then proceeds to step closer to me.

Sobs leave my mouth again. I try to hide it with my sleeves, “No don’t look at me-“

“I’m killing this motherfucker.” His body is tensed up and his jaw clenches.

His hands reach out to examine me. My face but I wince and try to step back.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here on time my love, this is my fault, I knew he wasn’t okay! Fuck. Are you okay? What hurts? Let me see please princess? Let me take care of you-“ he pulls me on his body but I try to resist. This doesn’t let him let go though.

“Hyunjin-“

“It’s okay, it’s okay” is all he says and that makes me fall against his body. It was overwhelming. I was tired. I was crying. I was a mess. I was in pain. Really bad pain. My chest hurt. He carries me to the couch before examining the bruises even more. His eyes squinting. The room is silent only a few barks from Khami.

His hair was in a ponytail and his nails were painted in black. The little things I was noticing as I stared at him trying to make out what his face was saying or what his brain was thinking.

He gets up and gets the first aid kit and some cleaning supplies before sitting back down.

“I’m going to touch you okay? And it might hurt but I’m just cleaning you up okay?” I just nod trying not to fight or say anything.

“We’re leaving, you’re going to stay with me until we can find you an apartment and you’re leaving this bastard.”

“But he’ll find me Hyunjin,” I cry in a panic.

“Hey hey hey, even if he does, which he won’t. I’ll whoop his ass and give him a big beating. Nothing will happen, plus his going up against 8 boys I think we can take him,”

“What about-“ I wince when he puts a bandage on my arm. My concentration now turning to the throbbing wrist.

“No I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re coming with me, stay here.” He gets up and I watch him closely. He enters Alex’s room and disappears. Knowing I couldn’t argue with him I knew I had to get Khami because that witch would try and hurt him. I limp over to Khami’s cage and get him out. He starts licking my face and whimpering. Knowing he had been watching everything in the apartment from moments before.

“I got your bags love,” Hyunjin says coming back. He gives Khami a small smile before he wraps his hand around my waist pulling me onto him.

“I love you,” his lips touch my softly. His fingers wipe the tears that had fallen from before. His body is warm and he smelt like flowers and blueberries…maybe strawberries.

“I’m going to protect you. I have to protect you.”

Before I can say anything he grabs my stuff and guides me to the car outside closing the door.

This was a new beginning to the end.

[liquid-bonhomme]

HEY Y'ALL IT'S MIKAILER WITH AN "ER" WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO GRASP!?

---

Did I get your attention, Mikaila? I hope so, let's see.

Mikaila, I don't like you. You've done shit that's soured my opinion of you. I'm acknowledging that now to get that out of the way. I'm not here to be two-faced about this or blow smoke up your ass.

But as one idiot who stayed in a toxic relationship to another-- I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better. I know. Being in a relationship like that brings out some ugly shit. You resent and fear people will never forgive you. You don't know if you will forgive yourself. I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better than you.

And it feels kinda good, being treated badly? In a weird way? When you're used to it? When you feel you kind of deserve it? It did for me too. My abuser did some fucked up shit to me. I don't know how to describe to you the strange feelings I'm left with now. Sometimes I think I finally hate her, sometimes, as pathetic as it makes me feel, I still miss her. It's a rot in you that never really goes away, but you learn to live with it. I understand that agony. I understand that anger of how fucking unfair it is.

You know my opinion of Lily. You're not going to trust me that I'm not saying all this just to get you two to break up to hurt her. Fair. Very fair, not going to pretend like it's not. But if Lily loves you, nothing I'm about to say should be an issue. She should want what's best for you, right?

Here's the rub Mikaila, it's been a few years now. I know you want out of your situation at home, but it doesn't seem like Lily's going to be able to help you with that at this point. I'm sure Lily's given you plenty of reasons as to why, and it's time to listen to her.

If you're heart's set on coming to Canada, your best bet is getting a job here. Or even, going to school. Art degrees (Here in Canada) aren't as expensive, provided you go to the right school. Even taking out a student loan for just one year to figure your shit out. I know you're in quite a bit of debt right now and don't want to get into more, but. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Here's the college I went to. Yes, your work is sufficient to potentially get admitted. Believe it or not, art school's get that illustration is a learned skill. Artists start from all different levels:

Look through the admissions requirements to see if you have the academic records to be admitted. If not, you could also consider upgrading through online classes aswell.

Again though, your best bet is to try to find employment. The cost of living isn't great here right now, but it isn't great anywhere. I doubt you'll be able to find cheaper rent in America.

Once you're here or wherever you end up, away from the chaos of your home, you might find it a lot easier to get your head around, establishing some better independence and becoming a citizen by yourself. It's a shitty process, but not as bad as the one you guys have in the States. We stan an immigrant here.

You need to look out for you, Mikaila. It's not selfish. It's not a matter of whether you "really deserve it or not." Nobody's going to save you. You're emotionally spent because of your parents, You're emotionally spent because of Lily. And it feels kind of nice how much Lily needs you. But you can't help her until you help yourself - and again, if we're all wrong and Lily really loves you, she shouldn't have a problem with you finding your way.

My own mother once told me I was "born sad." I've never not hated myself. I ate up any little bit of love and validation no matter how many bitter, razor pills that came with it too. That's just how it is for some of us.

But you know what Mikaila? Fuck em. Fuck all of them. Fuck everything. Fuck me, Mikaila. You've got one life. One body. One you. Whatever you think of her, someone's gotta fight for that poor bitch. Why not you fight for you?

Everyone's a stinky meat bag stripped down, Mikaila. Everyone's made a fool in the wake of the shit people like you and I have been through. Not everyone's going to be able to forgive everything, but everyone's not wholly past forgiveness.

I'm no better than you Mikaila. Nobody is. Some of us just get to know the worst sides of ourselves better than others.

I don't like some of the things you've done, girl. But I see you. I get it. Tell us all to eat shit. Fix your life. Don't rely on Lily to make you feel whole or to save you. To make you feel worthy. No person can do that. She could be the reincarnation of Mary Mother of God herself, and you couldn't expect that from her. Be your own advocate. If your relationship isn't toxic, it can survive you becoming a more whole you.

This asshole is rooting for you. Give me an excuse to undoomer "Mikailer." My girl needs a win.

[florineseexpertfanfic]

Amy-, Chapter Three: Carried Away

Title: Amy-

Summary: Shadow is not sure how to express himself. It doesn’t come naturally or easily for him. But he needs to figure out things, so he decides to write letters to a certain hedgehog- letters he never intends to send.

A/N: Written for Shadamy week! I wanted to have a slightly angst-y, yearn-y feel. Hope you all like it! Updates Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday!

Previous Chapter

Chapter Three: Carried Away

Amy-

I’m sorry I was so crass today. I will never admit this, but I was scared. I saw that robot coming down, heard your cry of fear, saw that you were stuck. You called my name. My heart stopped beating. My body had turned to ice- all I knew was that I had to get to you. You were in trouble, and you were frightened, and I… yelled at you.

Sonic, of course, was the one to get to you first. He easily got you into his arms and whisked you away to safety, with you holding on for dear life. The robot came down. I paused, watching the scene. Sonic had stopped with his shoes making that god-awful screeching sound he seems so fond of, and he asked if you were alright. You nodded your head. You stayed in his arms. 

I was furious. You called for me, and yet, you were looking at him like he was some… some grand hero. Like you realized you had made a mistake in reaching out for me. You realized that maybe, the hedgehog who still had his hand on your waist was the one you should be looking for.

So when that robot whirred back to life, I lost it. I know the fight toppled a building. I know Robotnik barely escaped with his life. I didn’t care. 

What made matters worse was when Sonic had to stop me. I was trying to calm my anger in my own way. When he got in between me and the retreating ass of Robotnik, that anger didn’t calm down. It flared to life with such an intensity, I began not to think straight. I’m not even sure what I said to him.

Or to you. 

You stepped in, trying to take control of the situation. I called you a ‘fangirl’, I believe. Or a ‘whimpering simp’. I’m not clear on what I did, but I know it hurt. I just wanted, in that moment, for you to hurt because I was hurting. Because you had called out to me. Because you wanted me to save you, and I couldn’t get to you in time. Because you have another hero who is capable of rescuing you. Because you are in love with him, and you never, ever will be in love with me.

It was that thought that made me turn away. I didn’t want you to see the pain I was feeling. At the moment, I figured you wouldn’t care. But it’s been a few hours now, and I feel nothing but regret. 

I am sorry for what happened. But you’ll never know. Because I will never say anything. Time will pass, you’ll end up forgiving me anyway, and things will become steady again. I’ll never have the courage to be honest with you.

I’m sorry for that too.

-Shadow

Amy-

Time is really not a good friend to me. In fact, I believe it to be one of my greatest enemies.  All of you go on about how you don't have much time left to do this, or that, or that you need more time to spend with loved ones. You all are always running out of time, wishing you had more. 

But I have all the time in the world and let me assure you, I find myself feeling empty because of it. Everyone I know and care about will die. Then I will meet new beings, then watch as they grow old and die. Over and over. I don't know how to handle it when it starts happening. When that cycle begins to repeat itself over and over. 

Will I become stronger for it? Or will this hole in my chest just continue growing?

Time is going to carry you away from me one day. I don't know how I will handle it when it does. 

-Shadow

Dear Amy,

I wanted to let you know how I feel.

Dear Amy,

Love is not an easy thing to comprehend. It's not something that is easy. It's something you have to

Dear Amy,

I have something I want to confess to you. We've known each other for a long time now, and with time, came a friendship I treasure above all else. 

Amy-

This is hard for me. But, there is something I want to say to you, something that will change everything forever. 

But if I don't do this now, I never will. 

Amy, I love you. And it is terrifying and all- consuming. I never realized that I could ever feel like this, but how could I not? You are everything. You are warm, loving, and carefree. But you are also responsible and strong. You believe in everyone… you believed in me, when I was at my lowest. You showed me kindness, told me the potential of this world we live in. And you were right. This world is worth saving.

You are worth saving. You are the reason why life is worth living. 

I know I am coming on strong, but I don’t want to coat my words in sugary sweetness. That isn’t me. 

I love you.

And even if we never are together in the way I wish, I will still love you. That will never change.

I promise.

Always yours, 

Shadow

Shadow growled in annoyance and went to cross out his latest attempt at a love confession. He needed to take a break from this. It was hard to lay yourself bare, and he was becoming exhausted. Closing the notebook, Shadow decided to make himself a cup of coffee. Hoping that the caffeine would help him focus, he pushed away from the desk and made his way out of his room.

He heard soft music and laughter coming from Rouge’s open bedroom door. Suddenly, he felt sweat break over his brow as he recognized the laughter. He took a deep breath, retained his cool, and went to continue on his way.

“Hey, Handsome.” Rouge said, catching sight of him. “Amy and I are hungry. If I buy, you fly?”

“Hi, Shadow!”

Shadow turned his head to look into the room, his eyes immediately falling on the beautiful lady standing near the edge of Rouge’s bed. In her hand was a thin strapped dress, black in color, and she held it against her body. It was obvious she was wondering how she would look if she was wearing it. 

His imagination betrayed him immediately. An image of Amy, wearing that black dress and a seductive smile, filled his mind. The black dress was simple in design- thin spaghetti straps, a low cut front, and a short skirt- but he knew she would look amazing in it. He looked away quickly, turning his attention to his friend, trying to calm himself down so he wouldn’t blush. 

Rouge, never one to miss anything, gave him a wicked grin. “She’s helping me pick out an outfit for my date tomorrow night. And again, we’re hungry. If I order the food, will you go out and get it?”

“Yes. Where are you ordering?” Shadow asked, crossing his arms and giving Rouge a cool stare.

“The good pizza place.” Rouge pulled out her phone and tapped on the screen. “I’ll place the order and pay for it.”

“I want a veggie supreme, an order of zuc-”

“Zucchini sticks and mozzarella sticks. Yeah, yeah, you get the same thing everytime.” Rouge clicked the options on the restaurant’s website and rolled her eyes. “You are so predictable.”

“You’re going to eat all of that?” Amy asked, her eyes widening in surprise. “By yourself?!”

Rouge threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, Pinky, he could eat all that and more. Just watch him, it’s amazing. I don’t know where he stores it all.”

“Rouge is exaggerating. I don’t eat it all. I do have leftovers.”

“Thank goodness!” Amy sighed, clutching the dress to herself. “I would be worried about you getting a stomach ache.” 

Rouge looked up from her phone, raising an eyebrow at Shadow. He ignored it and turned to walk out of her bedroom. 

Of course she would catch the lie. Shadow could eat all of that, twice over. He blamed the chaos swirling inside him; he had to eat more than the usual Mobian to keep up his energy. But he would control himself that night, to not embarrass himself in front of Amy. 

With a shake of his head, he made sure to grab his phone and leave to walk to the pizza restaurant. The walk would help him calm down and clear his head.

____________

The walk did seem to make him feel better. Fresh air helped to cool him down, to erase the thoughts of going out dancing with a black dress wearing Amy. He also felt like his equilibrium was back- yes, he realized she was in the house when he was working on a love confession. But she didn't know that. Nobody knew that.  He could keep it a secret. 

He opened up the front door, leading into the small kitchen of the house that Team Dark rented together. He could still hear the music playing in Rouge’s room, a catchy pop song that he had to admit he liked. He placed the cardboard box on the counter and walked to the stairs.

“Hey. Food is here.” Shadow said, absentmindedly, passing by the bat’s room without looking inside. He heard a happy sound, decided to ignore it, and continued on to his room. 

His cell phone was almost dead.  He always kept his charger in his bedroom, plugged into the wall by his bed. Shadow was only going to plug the phone in, go down, and eat dinner. 

But when he opened his door, he saw something that made his blood run cold. 

With a surprised gasp, Amy Rose brought something to her chest, staring at Shadow in horror… and guilt. 

“What are you doing here?”

His eyes fell upon the object in her hands and saw a familiar shade of pink. For a moment, they both stood still, horrified. 

Then Shadow reached out quickly, grabbed the notebook roughly from her hands, and stared at her. Anger rolled off of him, so much that it felt like he was choking on it. 

“Get out.” He said quietly. 

The normally combative hedgehog flinched at his tone and decided it would be wise to follow his order. Hurrying quickly, Amy ran past him, out into the hall and past a very bewildered looking Rouge. She didn’t stop, and Shadow heard the front door open and slam shut.

Rouge stopped in front of his opened door.  “What the hell happened?”

Without ceremony, Shadow grabbed the door and slammed it in her face. 

Next Chapter!

[lasandra]

Super Massive End Game Veilguard Spoilers Under the Cut!

Seriously. If you haven't finished playing Veilguard, DO. NOT. READ. So I finished DA:tV and I have been really trying to sort out my thoughts... And well...

Sdlkajshdfklajhsdfklajhsdflkjahsdklfjhaskldfjhaskldfhj I CAN'T!!! My dudes I am SO conflicted!!! Solas is the only character I have ever come across that I both love to pieces and want the best for him but I also want to beat him until he is a puddle of bruised yolk and cracked shells. This dude KILLED VARRIC FOR REALSIES! I am not okay with that. My Hawke's GOING to hunt him down when she finds out. If the Tevinter Magisters can get into the Black City then dammit so can she. And when she does, I am not sure even Lavellan can save him. Amelia (My Hawke) has lost so many of her friends/family/loved ones she can't handle this anymore. He also killed God's gift to elves Felassan. It's been over a decade since I read The Masked Empire but I don't remember there being a great reason other than him being upset that Felassan failed. Dude has GOT to stop killing his friends lol. Especially the hot ones. Like. Come on. As if that wasn't enough, he manipulated Rook. I love my first Rook (Carwyn de Riva) so much that I am STRUGGLING to play another playthrough with any of the other Rooks I had planned. To see that he manipulated her with blood magic... Stopped her from being able to mourn Varric with the others properly.... AND tricked her into that prison??? He didn't think she'd be able to get out. Luckily she had plot armor because if she hadn't gotten out I would find a way into Thedas to rip him apart myself. *Aggressive breathing noises* I feel very normal about this, obviously. Seriously though, guys, I came THIIIIIIIS close to tricking him with the fake dagger even knowing that Lanaya (my Lavellan) wouldn't have gotten her happy ending. JUST so I could see the LOOK on his face when he realized ROOK outplayed him at his own game! At the SAME time however... The idea of sending him into the Black City alone... hurts me lol! I don't want him to suffer. Dude has suffered a lot and honestly, I'm not entirely sure his being a friend-murdering ass is *entirely his fault... The longer I sit with everything, the more certain I am that Solas didn't really have a choice. Seems very much like he was sort of bound to the will of Mythal. Maybe I've missed something, I'm not as lore-savvy as I once was. But in the end when Mythal tells Solas that she releases him from her service and only THEN (NOT when Lavellan BEGS him to stop) is he willing to do the right thing? I don't know. It just reminded me SO much of his personal quest in Inquisition where his Wisdom Spirit friend had been bound and twisted against its purpose. If it works anything like what we saw in Inquisition with whoever drank from the Well of Sorrows, who's to say when something was him vs the will of Mythal? It could be a bit of a stretch but, there's certainly room for that interpretation, I think. And if that's the case, then he doesn't deserve the hell that awaits him. It's also the only interpretation I can really accept Lanaya still wanting to be with him. Varric was her friend too. While forgiveness is something I give freely, I cannot imagine reconciling with a man who did what Solas did without him having been essentially forced into doing it. *Sighs deeply* I saw the different versions of his endgame images... Shit man. The only way this man gets a happy ending is with Lavellan. Dude looks so miserable and gloomy in all the other endings. Moire (Trevelyan) was Solas' friend. She wouldn't want to send him off to be alone in such a terrible place. That would seriously eat at her. (Rook wouldn't care. Her give a damn was busted after he betrayed her for the twenty-billionth time.) It can never be anything but a complete and utter rollercoaster with this man! I do think that the ending I got with him was as good as it possibly could have been though, given everything. Sorry for this really poorly written rant. I needed to get this out of my system and it's almost 3am lol.

[feyreswaterybowels]

Shadows Dance🐦‍⬛ (#5)

Azriel x Reader

Summary: More of (Y/N) and Jarek’s past is revealed, (Y/N) starts plotting to take Jarek out and makes a discovery.

Word Count: 1.5k

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 ↓

“Are you still working for the Night Court?” Jarek asks, taking a bite from the food on the stacked plate in front of him.

I quirked an eyebrow at him as I sat my wine glass down. “I thought you were keeping tabs on me all these years?”

Jarek laughs and shakes his head. “I checked in here and there—the last 50 years were quite difficult to keep up with you with all of the Amaranth drama. Plus, with your abilities you disappeared so much it was hard to keep up. What, did you just stay hidden in the shadows during your travels?”

I hummed, thinking for a moment about how honest I wanted to be. On one hand he would see my honesty as trusting him, on the other I didn’t want him to know anything about me. I sighed feigning sadness, laying my fork down, adjusting the napkin in my lap before meeting gray eyes that seemed to be filled with…concern?

“If I’m honest, Jarek,” I watched him shudder at the sound of his name on my lips, “These last decades, when I was out I was looking for Sarah, not working. I stayed hidden within the shadows so often because I was-I was grief stricken, it was hard to be around anyone.”

Jarek nodded his head, reaching for my hand and I let him, trying not to recoil from his touch.

“I am sorry for the pain I caused you, (Y/N). I don’t claim to have done the right thing. I, well, I know I was wrong. No matter how bad I wanted you it wasn’t right. I do apologize for that. Will you forgive me?” Jarek asks, leaning towards me.

The nerve. I wanted to leach out and slap him across the face. To take my fork and stab him right in the throat—in that spot that would drain all of his blood. To-to—I stopped myself, knowing if I kept going I would lose my composure.

I reached out with my other hand laying it on top of his larger two covering mine and I gave him a smile. A real genuine smile that pained me and nodded softly.

“Of course, I forgive you, Jarek,” I nodded, watching his eyes widened and I let myself giggle. “I’ll admit your method was a little unorthodox, and when I saw you again for the first time I was angry to know it was you who had taken my sister. I felt betrayed—but you did too, didn’t you.”

Jareks eyes dropped to the ground and he nodded. I licked my teeth trying not to snarl at him, shaking my head as I pulled one of my hands away, reaching out to touch his face softly, lifting so his eyes met mine.

“Drop the glamor, Jarek,” I breathed, those dull gray eyes meeting mine. He looked hesitant so I stroked his cheek, in the spot I knew he was hiding. “Please? I’ve seen it before, you don’t need to hide from me.”

“Okay,” He breathes out with a nod and the next second the glamor is gone. I give him a smile.

“There’s my Jarek,” I whisper, stroking over the scar again, the one crisscrossing over his cheek, splitting over his left eye and eyebrow. He melts into my touch, eyes falling closed and I’m brought back in time, back when I had loved the man in front of me—loved him deeply and how he attained that scar saving my life.

“Do you remember?” Jarek asks, those eyes opening to meet mine. And I nod.

“Like it was yesterday,” I breathed.

And I do. I remembered how I was taken from my bed in the middle of the night, how Jarek had been the one to find me, to save me. But the price had been the scars that now littered his skin. It was a year later that the mating bond snapped between Azriel and I—I had left Jarek for many other reasons, not even pursuing a relationship with my shadow singer for almost another year after that.

“You know, I thought the scars were part of the reason you left me,” Jarek confesses, pulling away from my touch but leaving his hands on mine, resting in my lap.

My brows furrowed, watching him reach for his wine glass.

“Do you really think me that shallow?” I ask, offended and hurt. “I loved you, Jarek. I left for many reasons, but the scars you suffered saving my life? They weren’t anywhere near the list.”

“I don’t mean to offend you,” he shakes his hair, a strand of dirty blond hair falling onto his forehead. “I am still…insecure about the scars. Losing you still hurts. You were my everything. I was ready to dedicate my entire life to you mating bond or not, though I had hoped it would snap for us one day. But no, no your fated mate was him. That—that Illyrian male.”

The words were spat. Filled with so much hatred I nearly snarled at Jarek. Loathing the way he speaks of my mate.

“You still spit that word as if it’s the worst thing someone could be even though I’m Illyrian as well,” I say softly, that had been one of the reasons on the list of why I left. His hatred for Illyrians and his refusal to acknowledge that part of my heritage even with my wings right in front of him.

Jarek looked at me. A look on his face I couldn’t quite place before nodding at me.

“You’re right,” He acknowledges. “I apologize. For the way I speak of your kind.”

I fight to keep my jaw from hitting the floor.

“I appreciate your apology. Thank you,” I say sweetly.

We pull away from one another then and continue to eat. We have conversations, talking about the past and present. Neither of us speak of Sarah or the child and I avoid mentioning Rhys, Cassian or Azriel by name. Especially Azriel.

He tells me he’s surprised that I’m not fighting him more and I shrug telling him there’s no use fighting. I’m here to spare my sister's life, so that I’ll learn to live here with him. I think he’s still skeptical but he may be desperate enough to believe that I’ll happily stay here so he won’t go have my sister even though I know he’ll never be able to find her tucked away in Velaris.

Once I’ve retired to bed, changed out of the dress and bathed once again I crawl into the large bed and slide under the covers. I sigh as my wings are able to spread out, relaxing into the bed.

I wanted Azriel. I wanted to be with him in our bedroom knowing that our girl was safe in the room right down the hall. Even all of these years when we were physically together we still had the bond—and in some ways that bond was closer than physically being together.

My brows furrowed together in the darkness of the room. I had never heard of any wards that could prevent two mates from being able to contact one another. Maybe on the surface level but deep down? It was a soul connection.

I dug deep, then deeper, and deeper. Further into myself than I’ve ever needed to go. I searched and looked and I nearly gave up, though maybe the words did indeed go that deep. But I felt it. That string that binds us and I yank on it, hard and desperately and the response is immediate. I have to slam a hand over my mouth to stop a sob from escaping.

My love? It’s an echo in my head, deep and anguished.

Oh, my heart, I needed to hear your voice so much. It’s a sob in my head. I reach out yearning to touch him and I’m met with his hands reaching for me in return. It’s the comfort I needed so badly. He—he said there were wards. But I didn’t believe him. I’d never heard of such a wards.

Clearly they aren’t very good wards. Is his answering snarl. Has he harmed you?

No, no, Az he hasn’t. He wants me though. I’m trying to play along, make him think I want to be here…by myself some time. I don’t know what he’ll do if I refuse him…

Kill him. If it comes down to it, you’re stronger than him, you always have been. You kill him and then you get the hell away.

I take a breath. It’s taking a lot of concentration to hold on to the bond, but I can’t let go, not yet, not as he strokes me—caressing every part of my mind.

There’s a girl here, a servant, she says we’re in Autumn.

Sarah told us the same thing, says she got out once a few years ago and was sure she was in the mountains of Autumn.

The mountains of Autumn? What an odd choice.

How is she?

She’s shaken but she’s alright. She had no idea any of this was happening.

I’m getting so tired, Az. Was all I could muster in return.

Let go, my love. I love it’s hard, we’ve never been this deep in the bond before. Just know I’m coming for you, (Y/N). We all are.

I love you, Az.

I love you, sweetheart.

And then our connection was gone. Gone like it was never there and I cried.

[hotchfiles]

HIIIII!!!! saw ur post ab the bash, wanted to rq remus lupin using the prompt “every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone” CONGRATS ON 100!!!!

lari's 100th follower bash + send me a prompt and one of my boys for a blurb

remus + “every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone”

remus was the most loyal person anyone could meet. he would die before betraying the ones he trusted. he would kill to protect them. he was also a big fat liar, and you were still trying to understand how to trust him when those two truths lived in him so easily. he was so fearful of losing people lying became second nature, afraid the truth would be worse.

maybe if he was a good liar it wouldn't be much a problem, but he wasn't. his voice would crack, his eyes would avoid you, his face would be immediately sweaty. then you would not only be mad at him for the original reason (almost leaving you, telling people he would leave you, hiding the extent of his hurt, being secretive about his orders from dumbledore) but mostly because he was lying.

at least those seemed somewhat reasonable to lie about, but the argument you two were having now had not an ounce of reason. "someone flirts with you constantly. you don't tell her off, fine. she tries to kiss you and then you just avoid her. fine." you're walking around, listing what you had heard from sirius earlier, your hands gripping on the waist line of your shirt, controlling yourself, your anger. it definitely wasn't fine. "then i meet her and you tell me she's just someone from work?"

"i'm aware it doesn't look goo—" you cut him right away, not even giving him space to try and save his werewolf ass from the mess he had got himself him.

"oh no, it does not. it looks terrible, lupin, what're you doing? keeping safe spaces you can run to when you do decide to actually leave me?" you weren't the type to bring back old wounds to fresh fights, but that was one that would never completely heal. you would always remember lily's worried voice telling you about how remus asked james for help getting away. or when you woke up on a random morning monday, his baggage still done, his face pleading for forgiveness for having almost left.

"i—will not explain myself again." he kept thinking the more he talked, the more the argument would escalate and somewhere you would notice for yourself he wasn't good. he couldn't deal with that right now. he actually felt loved with you, a type of love he didn't have to exhaust himself trying to earn it. you always just gave him, he was terrified you'd take it back if you two kept fighting.

"yeah don't, you might actually tell me the truth for once, wouldn't want that." your tongue drips of venom, even if barely loud enough for him to hear, the loud sigh you let out after almost hiding away your anger. before he could even reply, your tired steps headed to the room you both shared. the tears you've been swallowing trying hard to come forward, the air on your lungs becoming thinner and thinner. you drop to the floor as soon as you get to it, laying down as flat and quiet as you could.

you needed to calm down.

breath in. breath out.

you spend good time like that, your eyes closed, your mind focused on not freaking out. you weren't jealous, that wasn't the issue, being kept in the dark was the issue. if he just told you from the beginning you two could've joked about it, it would't be a big deal. the lying was a big deal. especially when he tried so hard to keep those details away from you, he was actually capable of being a good liar. that was worrisome.

you don't hear his steps, or the way he leans on the door frame watching you. you only feel his presence when he notices your breathing is calmer, and he lays on the floor by your side, looking up the ceiling, his fingers intertwined on the back of his head.

"every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone." his voice is quiet, sincere, it doesn't ask for your pity, it doesn't make him the victim. it just is. he's just telling you. "sincerely, my love, i just didn't want to upset you... i was—i was scared you would think it was me giving her signs. i was terrified of it, honestly, merlin i—i'm always afraid. there's your truth." you don't reply for an instant, he doesn't move either.

you roll your body closer to him, his arm finds home underneath your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. you feel his heartbeat. his cologne. "such an idiot." he chuckles into your hair, even though he knows you're not joking, you're not trying to lighten the mood. "stop trying to make things right, you don't know what that is." you say finally, your final opinion on the matter. it was true, he had been running away from every conflict, trying to lie his ass out of problems for so long that for him, those were the right choices. the obvious choices.

it stings, the firmness on your voice, but not only he deserves it, he's glad you're still lying on him, your fingers rubbing his chest lightly. you were never afraid to tell him the truth, didn't matter how harsh. and it never hurt him more than he had hurt you by lying. it actually made him love you even more.

he vows silently then, to make things right by you, and with you, to protect you in the same ways you would him. if re-learning what right and wrong would be the thing to avoid hurting you, then he would do that. if learning to be confrontational, to speak his mind... if those were necessary, then he would. he promises to himself only. he keeps that promise.

"stay with me and i swear i won't be afraid anymore."

[ameliamusic]

Killing floor(part9)

Words:809

Tags: @thefairyloveschaos @chromations @loveinhereyes-flowersinherhair

I changed the pov tell me if u want me to change it back. I really like when you give me feedback thank youuuu

June

My mind cleared and I felt a cold washcloth wiping my still sensitive flesh. Robert's hair was in between my thighs, but instead of devouring me like before, he was wiping away the liquids he had poured into me.  This man was so incredible I couldn't help it, all the emotions boiled up and I let it slip, "I love you."

My eyes widened as I felt him stop, and watched him look up with wide eyes. I froze, was he gonna be mad? I sat up slightly, but he climbed on top of me, pinning me down.

Pushing his body on mine he kissed me passionately, everything felt like it was swirling. What does this mean? Does he feel the same?

"Baby I love you too. Please please please never leave me again. It hurt so bad baby, it's ok I forgive you but I was so very devastated." I could hear the thickness in his voice as he said this. I stroked his curls as he lifted his head from my neck to look into my tear filled eyes. "Juney, no no no, why are you crying? Please don't cry my love."

I shook my head, and said weakly, "no im just so sorry, I can't believe myself. Babe I was so so selfish I'm so mad." Before I could finish my sentence Robert cradled my head.

"Shh baby it's all over ok what happened happened and we can't get that time back no matter how hard we try. I'm so in love with you, I feel so complete. Now how about we go shower? I think we are both a bit sweaty from our little, activity." My heart raced, I was gonna really have a shower with him, oh my god. Now as I say this, I'm not so sure as to why I was freaking out, it's not like we just fucked or anything.

"Yes that sounds good." Like I was a stuffed animal Robert lifted me with ease. I clung to him for dear life.

I shakily exhaled,"D-don't drop me."

He shook his head as he set me in the shower, "Oh my love I would never forgive myself if I did." He turned the water on, it was surprisingly already warm. I looked at him, his slender muscles moving as he stood straight up, the way his tummy and chest hair felt made me want to crawl back in bed with him and just let him hold me. Gently he stepped in with me and wrapped his arms around me letting the warmth of ourselves meld together.

As the water ran down us he kissed my sore wrists, "My love, my darling I didn't think the scarfs would leave marks like this. I'm sorry I didn't know." The emotion in his voice made me do a double take. Why was he so worked up over this it was just a few marks, it wasn't really a big deal.

Leaning back into the shower I said, "No it's ok, really, I don't even feel it." Looking into his big eyes I could tell he hadn't let it go, but he was refraining from saying anything for my sake. Looking down I bit my lip, his abs and stomach were glistening. Running my fingers through the hair I felt him running his hands down my back and cupping my behind. "Oh Robert I love you."

The floor was cold as I stepped out and into the towel Robert held open for me. Taking me into his arms he kissed the top of my head. "Come my love sit on the bed I have something." He left the room and came back with another blanket.

Laying there we caught up about the past few years. And kissed til our mouths were swollen. "Babe? Where am I supposed to go after this I mean, I was living with my friend and saving up but."

He interrupted me, "I don't think I can handle it if you go. Please stay. " he paused, it seemed as if he was conflicted, or trying to hold something back. But I nodded, "ok I'll stay with you." Smiling brightly Robert rolled me over and kissed me silly. My hands combed through his silky blonde curls, that had dried quite nicely. Wrapping my legs around him I felt his hips angled against mine and it made me burn with fire.

As we lay in bed and laughed about how we never thought this day would come, a loud rapping sound came from the door. I watched Robert open the door and pull something off of it. It was an eviction notice for the apartment.

[msftsnmemes]

BOJACK HORSEMAN STARTERS.

unassorted taken from several audios & clip compilations. TRIGGER WARNINGS for mental health issues, alcoholism, suicidality, depression, drug abuse, and various other heavy topics that the show covers.

you'd probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you're a selfish coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn't give a sh*t about who he hurts.

things don't become traditions because they're good, bojack. they become good because they're traditions.

you were born broken; that is your birthright. and now, you can fill your life with projects, books, movies, and little girlfriends; but that won't make you whole.

i don't understand how people live. it's incredible to me that people wake up every morning and say: 'yeah, another day, let's do it.

in the grand scheme of things, we are just tiny specs that will one day be forgotten. so it doesn't matter what we did or how we'll be remembered. the only thing that matters is right now. this moment.

believe it or not, the time's arrow neither stands still nor reverses; it merely matches forward.

there's no such thing as good and bad people. we're all people who do good and lousy things sometimes. all we can do is try not to do bad stuff and more good stuff.

the world is unforgiving enough as it is. the least we can do is find a way to forgive each other and ourselves.

when i almost drowned, i decided i would never again be weaker than water.

there will be times when i will see someone in trouble. you'll want to rush in there and do whatever you can to save them.

but you must stop yourself because there are some people you can't save.

because those people will thrash and struggle and try to take you down with them.

life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra for many people.

sometimes i feel like my whole life is just a series of loosely-related wacky misadventures.

that's the problem with life, right? either you know what you want, and then you don't get what you want, or you get what you want, and then you don't know what you want.

my life is a mess right now, and i compulsively take care of other people when i don't know how to take care of myself.

always take every opportunity that comes your way because opportunities are like sneezes from god, and when god sneezes, you can't say god bless you to god. so instead, you have to take the opportunity.

sometimes life's a b*tch, and you keep living.

you can live your whole life like a puzzle, put together from the pieces of different sets.

but at some point, you start to think it's you. you're the piece that doesn't quite fit.

and you spend so long with that feeling that the feeling becomes your home.

and it can be jarring when you discover one day that you suddenly don't feel that way anymore. at first, you don't trust it, but then, gradually, you do.

it's not about being happy; that is the thing. i'm just trying to get through each day.

i can't keep asking myself, 'am i happy?' it just makes me more miserable.

i don't know if i believe in it, real, lasting happiness.

all those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and tv shows? i don't think they exist.

you know, sometimes i feel like i was born with a leak, and any goodness i started with just slowly spilt out of me, and now it's all gone. and i'll never get it back in me.

i've had a lot of what i thought were rock bottoms, only to discover another, rockier bottom underneath.

loss is a collaborative art between the people who leave us and those who remain. we dance with the shadows of their absence.

one day, you're going to look around, and you're going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. and that is the loneliest feeling in the world.

when i was your age, i got sad a lot. i didn't come from such a great home, but one day, i started running, which seemed to make sense, so i just kept running.

when you get sad, you run straight ahead and keep running forward, no matter what. people in your life will try to hold you back and slow you down, but you don't let them.

don't you stop running, and don't you ever look behind you. there's nothing for you behind you. all that exists is what's ahead.

i'm this close to falling off the deep end. i know i'm smiling right now, but the light inside me is dying.

i need to go take a shower, so i can't tell if i'm crying or not.

loss is a collaborative art between the people who leave us and those who remain. we dance with the shadows of their absence.

settle. because otherwise you're just gonna get older and harder, and more alone.

you're going to do everything you can to fill that hole with friends, your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn't get filled.

i know i'm not the perfect guy. i actually kind of hate myself a lot of the time. but when i'm with you, i don't hate myself.

i like being around you, and i don't know if i ever told you that in so many words, so i'm telling you.

same thing that always happens. you didn't know me, and then you fell in love with me. and now you know me.

everybody deserves to be loved.

one day you're going to look around and realize that everyone loves you, but no one likes you, which is the loneliest feeling in the world.

when you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.

it's so easy for you to love me when everything's good.

it's important that you know i cared. you think i didn't care because i put up walls.

but i cared so much about you. i wanted you to respect me.

i wanted you to love me. i was so afraid that you would know that.

the universe is a cruel, uncaring void. the key to being happy isn't a search for meaning.

it's to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll die.

i don't know what to tell you. i'm happy for the first time in my life, and i'm not going to feel bad about it.

it takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn't have to be that way.

only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy.

do you ever look up at the stars and feel like they're tiny holes in the sky, sucking out all the oxygen, and suddenly you can't breathe because you're thinking about how small you are and how meaningless it all is?

it is so cruel to let people love you. all you are doing is promising you'll one day break their hearts.

there is no shame in dying for nothing. that's why most people die.

not understanding that you're a horrible person doesn't make you less of a horrible person.

it gets easier. every day it gets a little easier. but you gotta do it every day — that's the hard part. but it does get easier.

fool me once; shame on you. but teach a man to fool me, and i'll be fooled for the rest of my life.

i bought into this idea that i was this thing that couldn't be changed. the main thing i think about is how stupid i am that i didn't do this sooner.

i wasted so many years being miserable because i assumed that was the only way to be.

i don't want to do that anymore.

i understand that feeling of needing to bottle up your guilt and not burden other people with it.

you think you're protecting them from your toxicity. you convince yourself that you're being selfless, but it comes out in other ways and infects everything.

[agirlwithdemonblood]

Breaking Free: Chapter 8-Strength in Vulnerability

Pairings: AU! Mechanic Dean x Reader

Chapter Summary: Y/N wakes up in the hospital, and Dean and her navigate how to deal with their overwhelming feelings and the changes to come.

Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse, domestic violence, injuries

Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!

I woke up silence and darkness, aside from for the monitor's soft beeping. Dean sat beside me, his head resting on the bed, hand holding mine. His tired eyes and tear-stained face showed how worried he'd been while I was asleep. Across the room, John was slumped in a chair, asleep.

Attempting to sit up, I winced as pain shot through my body, the pain killers were not nearly enough. Dean's head shot up at the movement, relief flooding his face as our eyes met.

"Oh, sweetheart, thank god you're awake," he said, his voice trembling with emotion.

I managed a nod, struggling against the discomfort as Dean swiftly moved to help me adjust, pressing the button to dispense more pain relief. "Thank you," I whispered gratefully.

He smiled weakly, sitting beside me and holding my hand. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

"It's not your fault, Dean." I reassured him. "It's nobody's fault."

"It's my fault." John spoke up from the corner. I turned to him. "It's not your fault, John." I sad gently.

"I shouldn't have asked you to help," John replied, looking guilty.

"It's okay, John. I understand why you did it. I wanted to help you."

John nodded slowly. "You're a good person Y/N. I'm sorry I doubted you."

I smiled, and turned to Dean who still seemed and angry, avoiding John's gaze. I squeezed Dean's hand before turning to John, "Do you mind giving us a moment alone?"

John nodded and patted my arm, before making his leave. My eyes glanced back to Dean, "Dean, you have to forgive John." I urged softly.

Dean looked confused and frustrated. "What do you mean? He shouldn't have involved you in his stupid business. It was selfish and reckless."

I nodded, Yes it was. I also shouldn't have agreed, do you hate me?"

His eyes widened, as his hand squeezed mine, "God, no!"

"Then don't hate him," I pleaded softly. "We all make stupid fucking decisions when we're not thinking clearly. We all have moments of selfishness. John made a mistake, just like I did. He didn't intend for me to get hurt. He couldn't have known because he wasn't sure what to believe."

Dean huffed and buried his face in his hands, struggling to hold back tears. "But look what happened to you. I can't just forgive him."

"He already feels guilty," I said, feeling his struggle. "He blames himself. He didn't want this."

He nodded, as if he was thinking about how he felt about the situation, and dropped his head lower, hand squeezing mine tightly. "I... thought I lost you..." his voice cracked.

"But you didn't lose me," I reassured him gently. "And now, I can talk to the police. We can take care of Andrew."

He nodded, lifting his head slightly. Tears welled in his eyes as he tried to maintain his composure. But I could see through his facade. I pulled him closer, refusing to let him hide his pain from me.

"Dean, it's okay to let it out," I whispered. "I'm here, and I'm okay."

He nodded again, resting his head on my shoulder. A soft sob escaped him, and he held onto me tightly. His grip hurt against my still-healing body, but his emotional pain was worse than any physical ache I'd ever felt. It was heartbreaking to hear him like this, worse than anything Andrew had done to me.

I promised myself I wouldn't let Dean suffer like this again; it was my turn to protect him from the world.

Dean was fast asleep on my chest when the police arrived. I knew I should wake him up for our statements, but I kept thinking about how sad he looked, trying so hard to stay strong for me. He's always protected and saved me, and I forgot how tough this must be for him, so I told them to come back.

Dean woke up the second time the police came, stirring against me. His eyes blinked against the bright lights until he adjusted. When he saw me, relief washed over his face, grateful that I was still there and it wasn't just a dream. The police waited patiently at the doorway, giving us our space, which I appreciated.

Dean smiled at me, then noticed the police and checked the time. "What took them so long?"

I smiled back and gently kissed his head. "I sent them away the first time. You were asleep."

Guilt and hurt filled his face, but I had to reassure him. "Dean, you were exhausted and had a really tough day. Sometimes I need to take care of you too, you know." He smiled softly and remained quiet. I could tell he appreciated it deeply; being cared for wasn't something he was used to.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, Mr. Winchester, are you ready to give your statements?" the police officer asked, and I nodded quickly, inviting them in. They questioned if we preferred to give our statements separately and part of me considered it, especially knowing how Dean might react to hearing the details behind closed doors.

But another part knew he'd always wonder, imagining scenarios to fill in the gaps if he didn't hear the truth. He needed to know. "Together is fine, if Dean's okay with it?"

Dean nodded, squeezing my hand as anxiety rose within him. The officers sat in the chairs beside my bed, their faces were emotionless, and it made me sick. Not because of them personally, but because they were so used to these situations. To them, it was routine. But for me, reporting what happened made my stomach churn.

"Okay, if you could continue from where the incident first started, please," the officer suggested.

I nodded and held Dean's hand tightly in my lap. I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts before speaking. Starting with the conversation with John and how it led to meeting Andrew, I recounted asking John to check on me, agreeing to meet Andrew at the house, and my arrival there. These were the straightforward details, just the facts.

"Now, if you could continue to where the incident first started," the officer pressed gently.

I felt Dean's hand tense in mine. I could see he was nervous, dreading what he might hear next. Regardless, I knew I had to speak my truth.

""So we started talking and he started insulting Dean and I, saying he wanted me back with him. I told him it wasn't happening. I said I was happy with Dean and would never go back. He then told me to follow him upstairs to get the rest of my stuff from when I lived there. When we got to the top of the stairs, he stopped me and said he'd only agree to the segment if I got back with him. I said no, tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and then moved his hand to my throat…"

I felt Dean cringe beside me, his grip tightening on my hand. He looked uncomfortable, knowing I hadn't even reached the worst part of what happened yet.

"He started to choke me, and I panicked. I ended up kicking him in the groin and running towards the stairs," I recounted. Dean's face lit up with pride at that detail, and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh.

"When I reached the stairs..." I paused, turning to look at Dean. "Babe, are you sure you want to be here for this?"

He smiled sadly and nodded. "I think I need to be."

I nodded, intertwining my fingers with Dean's and then focusing on the police officers.

"Um, when I got to the stairs, I felt a hard push on my back and I flew down them. I heard bones crack, and I think I hit my head pretty hard on the railing. When I looked up toward the staircase, Andrew was standing at the top, smiling at me."

Dean winced and turned away, tears welling in his eyes.

The police officer cleared his throat and leaned forward. "So, after he came down the stairs, what happened next?"

"I asked Andrew to take me to the hospital, I begged him to, but he refused. He said he wanted to keep me there and take care of me himself because he was afraid I'd tell someone he pushed me. He kept me in bed; I wasn't tied down, but my legs hurt too much to move. He was dressing my wounds when he got a call and had to leave for an interview in town, leaving me alone at home. I tried to crawl downstairs, but the pain was unbearable. That's when Dean came in and rescued me."

I glanced at Dean, who was visibly upset. He gripped my hand tightly, tears welling in his eyes. His jaw was clenched so tightly it looked like he might break a tooth. He was trying to stay strong for me and for the police officers, but it was clear he was struggling to hear about what happened. It wasn't just because it was me; he had never witnessed a situation like this before.

I turned to the officers, who looked at Dean with sympathy more than anything else, their expressions showing concern.

"So that's my statement. I know you need to interview Dean, but could you give us some time before you speak with him?" I asked the officers. They nodded understandingly, got up, and closed the door behind them, giving Dean and me some much-needed privacy.

I placed my hand on his back, trying to comfort him. Dean turned his head away, sniffing as he tried to hold back tears.

"Dean, come here," I whispered softly.

He cleared his throat and moved to lie down with his head in the crook of my neck, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist. "I-I'm sorry..." his voice cracked with emotion.

I held him close, rubbing his back gently. "Don't apologize," I reassured him.

"You're supposed to be the one I'm taking care of, not the other way around," Dean murmured, his voice filled with guilt.

"Dean, look at me," I urged gently.

He shook his head, but I insisted, gently moving his hand away from his face and lifting his chin, meeting his tear-filled eyes. "Dean, I'm okay. Really, I am. I know you feel guilty and this was a big thing, but I'm okay because of you. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to cry about what happened. It was scary, it was terrifying. I couldn't imagine going through this without you. So please, if you need to let it out, do it. I've got you."

Dean nodded, holding me tightly against him, a sigh of relief escaping him. "Thank you."

"Of course," I whispered, comforting him as he embraced me.

He lifted his head and gazed into my eyes, a sad smile playing on his lips. "Enough about taking care of me though. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Actually, to be honest, I'm in quite a bit of pain and could really use some medication," I admitted.

His expression fell, concern flashing across his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I giggled softly and shrugged. "Because I care about you. I worry about your well-being."

He smiled gently and shook his head. "You're ridiculous. That's one of the reasons why I love you."

I smirked as Dean got up and pressed the nurse's button. Soon, a nurse entered with another to check on my injuries. Thankfully, the damage wasn't too severe. One of my legs was broken, and the other badly bruised, but I could manage to stand on it. My head was okay, although the doctor warned me about potential headaches and dizziness for a while. They recommend bedrest, but I knew I couldn't do that, no matter how much Dean insisted I do so.

After the doctor checked me over and confirmed I was stable, I was finally discharged from the hospital, ready to go home.

The entire journey home was exhausting.

I had to get used to Dean helping me into the car, carrying me around, and setting up my wheel chair at home-it was a lot, especially on the first day.

Even though he never once complained, and it wasn't my fault my leg was broken and I was stuck in a wheelchair, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I worried that needing so much help would wear Dean down over time.

It hadn't been long since Dean and I moved in together, and now I relied on him for everyday tasks like getting dressed and moving around the house. It felt like a nightmare to me. Dean sensed something was wrong. He tried to credit it to the traumatic event we went through and my exhaustion, but he knew there was more to it.

He could see it in my expression when he helped me up the stairs or guided me back into the chair. He noticed my struggle as I awkwardly navigated the hallways in the wheelchair, unfamiliar with relying on it. He wanted to make me feel better, but he also understood my hesitation to depend on him for even the smallest things, despite his willingness to help.

That's why Dean took it slow, allowing me to ask for help when needed or assisting without making me feel babied. He wanted to protect me because he understood that after what happened, I felt helpless and worthless.

His goal was to show me the opposite—to prove that I was strong and capable. Dean aimed to help give my power back.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 9 coming soon stay tuned!

Like, comment, and reblog, feedback is my fuel 💕

[destinygoldenstar]

🌟SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCEEE 🌟 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 3 Episode 8 “Give Me Some Space”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

That's how I feel right now.

Enjoy the reaction.

Oliver feels the same way I do. Getting thrown out of a plane does that to you.

"I got breakfast!"

THAT'S A LOT OF BREAKFAST GIRL

You expect the three of you to eat all of that in one day XD

Who needs pizza when you got apples from Allyson?

Also DAY FIFTEEN, Jesus Christ-

"Cool, good for you."

What's wrong with you?

Are you still grieving?

"With all due respect, I really want to be alone right now."

Yep.

"Fine. Starve."

"Just because you lost us the last challenge doesn't give you the right to bite my head off!"

First of all, that's NOT what's going on. Allyson just simply has no context.

Honestly Allyson, if he wants to starve, just let him starve. Walk away.

Biting back is only going to make it worse.

There you go. Just walk away.

Jake's in a mood right now. Walk away.

"Jake's in a mood."

...

I NEED TO STOP REACTING. SERIOUSLY.

NO SHOT SHE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT.

She's gonna eat all those apples herself.

"I lost him for good this time, and it's all my fault."

AW.

I want to hate him, but he's just so sympathetic at the same time. Tearing up like that 💔

Why is Jake actually the best and most interesting character in this season so far? Like what the hell?

I mean aside from, you know, MY BELOVED EVIL QUEEN. 👑

"Remember what I said about guilt?"

Oof. Yeah.

"How could I not be guilty? I drove him to ghost me, Ash! Maybe if I wasn't such a self absorbed asshole, he and I could've... I..."

Honey... 🥺

AW 😭💔

COME ON, THE EPISODE JUST STARTED

Hey, at least he's self aware he's a bitch XD

I said this last episode too, he hates himself. Tom does too. And this just proved my point.

Like he's a traumatized guy, and whether or not he deserved to be traumatized is really up to your POV on these matters, it doesn't take away that next to nobody is trying to help him figure this out. Grandma's dead. Tom is gone. His family doesn't seem to like him. So what else is there to do to regulate your emotions on this stuff than lash out? Even if you don't really mean it.

Allyson deserved absolutely NONE of that sass.

I can see people getting really annoyed by this and his behavior. Mostly because Jake is just, by nature, a flawed character. You could argue he is just straight up UNLIKEABLE in this season.

But it's that exact reason why this is really working for me. As well as, you know, we actually witnessed the trauma as well. And we actually see that he doesn't want to be an antagonist, he just is paranoid everyone wants to hurt him. I don't blame him honestly. (*COUGH*)

TRAUMA DOES NOT 'MAKE YOU STRONGER', TRAUMA MAKES YOU A PAIN IN THE ASS.

"Why do I do this to myself, Ashley?"

OH AND HE ACTUALLY FEELS BAD

Damn. You show him be a bitch to Allyson, and then you show he IMMEDIATELY regretted it.

Allyson's chill. She'll forgive you. Just apologize.

I have a feeling he won't XD

"I'm looking for the immunity totem."

What idol?

No one announced no idol.

Now I'm all for stealing idols, AS YOU KNOW, but you kinda need an idol to be in play to do that.

So your attention should be on convincing your team the Jellos are liars and you don't know what they're talking about.

"How do you know there's an idol this season?"

Even Tess is calling you out.

Forget fashion school. GO BACK TO SCHEMING SCHOOL.

"Do you feel in danger?"

What do you think, Tess?

She is regretting every single game action she has made so far as is.

If Ellie does not save herself, I'm making ANOTHER list on game moves she could've done instead to have prevented that from happening.

"Gabby knows?"

Yep. And she's pretty upset about it.

You're such a wonderful girlfriend Ellie XD

"I have to focus on winning. She understands."

Yeah cause you're broke, you need money for your dreams. I get it.

"Remember when you lost in Season 1?"

"Golden REALLY chewed you out on it. Huh?"

INSERT MY POST ABOUT HER MOVE IN EPISODE 10 HERE.

Also COME ON, if there actually WAS an idol in play, you KNOW I would not shut up about it.

"Are you willing to lose your girlfriend over this game?"

Ooh.

Yeah that's a good question.

Cause in Ellie's case, it's not that simple. Yeah she does some shitty stuff, but she only does them because she feels like she has to.

She doesn't get any sick pleasure from it. Unless it's Jake.

"Okay, you're being so extra right now, Tess."

She clearly has not watched Total Drama.

If this was TD, Ellie would be dumped by Gabby in a heartbeat.

"Of course I would choose her over a million dollars!"

Yes. But also, in Season 1 it was easier because at that point Gabby was already out of the game.

"Would you choose her over three million?"

DON'T HESITATE.

DON'T CUT AWAY.

I WANT TO KNOW HER ANSWER!!

"I'm so bummed, Tom. I would've loved some pizza right now."

They're talking about pizza.

I thought for a second he was talking about something of substance.

We literally just cut away from a deep interesting character moment of a complex female character, TO MEN TALKING ABOUT PIZZA.

I have never seen a more misogynistic tonal whiplash in my life.

"I know. Melted cheese beats rodent jerky any day of the week."

Damn these bitches are HUNGRY.

But still I'm not over it. IS THIS A JOKE? THIS FEELS LIKE A JOKE.

"Ooh, Ellie is torn between her goal for money to better her poor circumstancial life that would complete her life. Her morals are being stripped away from her as she progresses through this harrowing journey, and now she's at the threat of losing the only person keeping herself sane. Does she want to throw it all away? How much does it really mean to her compared to Gabby-"

"I WANT PIZZA."🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕

"What did she do?"

Bro.

YOU WERE ON THE BRUNT END OF IT.

Apparently her scheme was so slimy that even the people INVOLVED don't hear or see it.

Maybe she did get really good at this game. Cause that's impressive.

"Remember? She shoved you?"

"Oh that? Eh, it didn't hurt. I'm fine."

"She shoved you onto me."

"..."

Oh my god...

"In front of Jake."

"Ooooooohhhh."

Hold on.

Just one second.

"Contrary to what some say, I'm not stupid."

"Contrary to what some say, I'm not stupid."

"Contrary to what some say, I'm not stupid."

- TOM. 2024

You can't make that up.

I mean Tom was always kind of a dumbass. BUT STILL. I HAVE A RIGHT TO BULLY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS FOR PETTY REASONS.

"I bet your boyfriend would be pretty understanding, unlike Jake."

DAMN AIDEN. OH MY GOD.

Did he have to throw that "Unlike Jake" at the end?!

DAMN.

Not undeserved, just... DAMN.

WE HATE JAKE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

The in universe household, obviously.

"Oh don't worry. He's the best."

That's good.

At least he found someone that works for him.

"What's his name? Is he a cutie?"

Of course Gabby would be all up in his business about it XD

In real life I hate people like that. But it's Gabby, so I find it cute.

Also you didn't tell Gabby about your boyfriend either?

"I should get started on dinner! Sorry to dip, bye!"

Okay?

You really don't want to talk about the situation, huh?

*Harbor Freight Ad*

I guess Tom went to go chop some trees.

WHAT WAS THAT MUSIC?!

*rewinds*

NO I WASN'T HALLUCINATING. WHAT WAS THAT MUSIC?!

WHY DOES THIS FUCKER GET A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE?!

Bro thinks he's special, LMAO

"Why am I not being consulted?"

You literally are right now. Impatient brat.

"Shouldn't I have a say?"

I thought you wanted this life, aside from your relationship with Grett. What?

"Have you lost your damn mind?!"

"OH NO! I HAVE TO BE NICE TO SOMEONE! OH I'M SUCH A VICTIM OF HARASSMENT!! 😭 I DON'T WANNA BE A DECENT PERSON!!! 😭"

"Maybe a little making out? Let her lick your spicy abs?"

Ew. That's actually gross. Don't bring S/A into the mix.

Or maybe this is my asexual brain talking, idk. I'm not attracted to men.

"She is like, THE dietary influencer!"

She had her influence for like, two years. So that's impressive.

"I don't give a flying fuck, her supplements could cure cancer for all I care, she is not the savior of my brand! I'm the one that people love, not her!"

WHO LOVES YOU?

WHO ACTUALLY LOVES YOU!?!

"Not according to your Instagram DMs."

Yeah exactly. This man is delusional.

And there's no backstory to explain it either. It's comical.

"If you don't do this-"

"I'll never have my fans back and I'll lose all my contracts- yeah yeah you've said your peace-"

Bro wants to ruin his life fr.

I love how the subtitle uses the wrong homophone.

Peace/Piece.

This implies that Yul himself is so unpeaceful that even the GODS can't comprehend what the meaning of peace is when it comes to his existence.

That is hilarious right there.

"You're fired!"

Dude, you can't fire her, you're not in power.

I HATE that trope. When the actor fires the film worker.

I hate it because it's INACCURATE.

I'm in college studying film design. THIS ISN'T HOW THIS WORKS.

The actors DO NOT have the power to fire any of the crew, camera, director, audio techie, whatever the case. That is in the hands of the producers of the project, which most of the time is not an actor.

It's a gross trope, and also it's what media has you believe, that the actors are the most important just because you can plaster their faces everywhere. THEY'RE NOT.

"What are you gonna do for a living? You're not getting any work after this show, you know that!"

He's gonna be a cashier at Target.

"I'm gonna win this stupid show and three million dollars!"

If Yul wins, I am actually fucking DONE with this show.

"Enjoy unemployment, loser!"

Um... doesn't she work for Krystal?

And doesn't she also do interviews with people?

She's not unemployed.

"Meet me in the forest for our next challenge."

WHERE in the forest?

NINETY PERCENT OF THIS LOCATION IS FOREST.

"I knew it."

Riya's not surprised.

"Ha! I never liked that kid anyway."

"It's an utter shock to see Fiore gone so early."

No. It really isn't.

"I don't know if I feel bad, but... I did what I could to save her."

Aw. Alec cares still.

Yeah idk, I feel like the Jello was the very thing that incriminated her.

Though she was already hated even before that, so maybe there would've been no difference.

"Hope you're not afraid of heights anymore, AIDEN..."

OH COME ON THAT'S A LOW BLOW.

YOU AND YOUR CREW NEARLY KILLED HIM.

WHAT THE...?!

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET THE MONEY FOR THAT?!?!?!

No this has to be fake. I'M NOT BUYING IT.

YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY TAKING THEM TO SPACE.

CHRIS MCLEAN COULDN'T AFFORD AN AIRPLANE FOR WORLD TOUR THAT DIDN'T HAVE A COUPLE CRASHES AND COMPLICATIONS

AND HERE YOU ARE AFFORDING A BIG ASS SPACESHIP

"How did you get the budget for this?"

THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING

"Trevor's paycheck!"

That's a lie. I don't believe that at all. Trevor could barely afford a TV show without committing crimes.

DO NOT GO IN THAT DEATH MACHINE

You can't just send these guys to space, expect no problems, and without spacesuits.

If that ship malfunctions, THEY'RE DEAD. YOU CAN'T SAVE THEM!

"Don't worry Aiden, we'll be fine."

*Pie AdBlock Ad*

NOPE. IT WON'T BE FINE. THERE'S ADS!!!

OH MY GOD WE'RE ACTUALLY IN SPACE

WE ARE ACTUALLY DOING THIS

First a Zombie Apocalypse Simulator. And now THIS.

How did we get here?!

OH WOW THEY ACTUALLY ARE IN SUITS.

These look cool!

Allyson is just outcasted from her team XD

What did Jake kick you off the team or something?

Also why is his the only one with baggy sleeves? Everyone elses look fine.

"I can't wait to feel zero gravity!"

Of course she would be all over that XD

"It will be like I'm back in the womb, swimming around, bouncing off my mommy's belly walls!"

😳

OKAY. THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION. THANK YOU GABBY.

"I don't know if I can do this!"

Well you're already in space, so idk what to tell ya.

"Not to be a bummer on this free tour of the galaxy, but we encountered some technical difficulties."

WELP, EVERYONE'S DEAD THEN.

"Oh, I'm serious, Aiden. I can't hear you, but I'm assuming you piped up."

Okay can we NOT with the Aiden bullying, please?

"Anyways, if you don't wanna have the oxygen siphoned from your lungs..."

DO THEY NOT GET THE OXYGEN SUPPLIES?

Like why did not get the helmets and the tanks as well? Those are vital.

"You're gonna want to escape the ship."

This is actually pretty LETHAL. WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?!

Like, if they don't, they're gonna DIE.

Oh that's bloody convenitent.

Sounds like you WANTED the ship to fail.

Yeah, I'm smelling lawsuits.

"This is so exciting!"

XD

I love Gabby.

"You're all gonna die!"

"THIS IS EXCITING!"

They can't kill these guys, right?

If it's VR again, I'm gonna lose my mind.

"Who died and made you the leader?"

I did.

"I just filmed a space epic."

Course you did queen. 👑

"Now streaming in three platforms!"

XD

YES I SEE YOU GIRL. HI.

"I also have fourth wall breaking powers! For my next showing, I will fly through the voids of space where there will be no walls in sight!!"

NO RIYA YOU'LL JUST BE FLYING FOREVER!

"I know what I'm doing."

"Last time you said that, we lost the challenge."

I mean, she's not wrong.

"And almost lost a foot."

"Get over it!"

XD

FOR REAL FOR REAL. GET OVER IT, GOD!

"FOR THE LAST TIME. I AM NOT SORRY!"

"I propose Alec as the leader for this challenge."

Wasn't he already the leader? Also Riya didn't LEAD the musical challenge she just had a hand in one part of it-

Oh who cares, it's Yul.

"Aren't you the nerd? Just tell us what to do so I can get the hell out of here."

*They proceed to follow Riya*

XD

I guess Riya IS leading. Nevermind!

"For my next showing, I might just leave Yul in the ship. He's getting on my nerves, so therefore he doesn't deserve to have a quick death."

NO RIYA YOU MIGHT GET CHARGED FOR THAT!

"I was going to say we should avoid looking in open areas."

Uh, why?

You guys had a hard time finding GIANT YARN BALLS last episode. Idk if I trust you.

"I'm a big Century Quest fan."

What's that?

I just Googled it, and the first page of results I got are about Fairy Tail.

"It's also got crazy lore, with time traveling assassins and-"

WHOA WHAT?

ASSASSINS?

HOLD ON THERE.

"Ally, focus!"

No I want to hear the lore about the time traveling assassins! I think saving our own lives can wait!

"Huh, I guess that's technically a plan."

Oh wow, everyone here is cooperative.

I thought for a second Jake was going to be the one to snap at her, like "WHO ASKED YOU?! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR GAME NERD NONSENSE! YOUR PLAN SUCKS ASS!"

But no.

Jake has kept a cool head quite a number of times, and I'm still somehow surprised whenever he does.

"Yeah. Sure. I may not like apples, I don't remember what I had for breakfast prior to this, but sure! Let the gamer girl cook!"

Let Allyson be the star player in this challenge!

"It was a bit out here, but I'm glad you saw my vision."

Of course DEREK made this lethal challenge. Of course.

These guys might as well just be playing Lethal Company.

Disventure Camp Characters Playing Lethal Company. Anyone?

"By the way, you have plans after this? We could grab a drink."

Op, and he's asking her out.

Krystal and Derek probably would be cute if this wasn't a boss x abused intern ship. Like I know she's giving him special treatment. It's still kinda gross.

"Sorry, I have paperwork, and I'm not much of a socializer."

Aw, Krystal.

"They got a pool table!"

Oh she got influenced by the pool table XD

Girl loves a pool table!

Billards is boring to me. But sure. Krystal canonically likes billards.

Why is there an arcade in a spaceship?

"Maybe I can win a stuffed bunny for Ellie!"

Aw ❤️

That's so sweet.

I love plushies.

"Anything you do makes her happy, Gabby."

"Not recently."

Oh...

"Maybe this stuffed animal will make her remember we should be having fun as well!"

Oh I love this!

I love Gabby!

That might work. Idk. I feel like it's not gonna be that easy for Ellie.

Unless there's an idol inside the bunny.

That'd be a neat twist.

"Are you any good at claw machines?"

"I was just going to smash it open with a hammer."

😂

That's the real way to win right there.

"You should see my room. Its filled with these little guys!"

Oh Tess is just like me fr

My whole bed is filled with stuffed animals!

I'm not showing a picture of my room, I'm just saying.

"Helps me sleep just a bit easier."

Aw. I love that for Tess. That's so sweet.

Op.

Let me guess. It's a clue to an immunity idol.

And Ellie's gonna be like "GIMME GIMME! IT'S MINE!"

"It's a map of the ship with a section marked in red."

Oh.

And here I thought I could go on my idol crazed rampage again.

This season so far has been putting me on a leash regarding that.

"Is that an air vent?"

"Why do you care?"

Uh, because we're trying not to DIE.

Fuck off, Yul.

I hate that Grett has been flanderized to be nothing more than Yul's love interest. But I hate Yul, JUST Yul, infinitely more than that.

What is that?

What is that doing in a spaceship?

Maybe it's normal. I'm not an astronaut.

Is that normal?

"So we going up there or what?"

Can you? That doesn't look like a transportation system.

If it is, that seems really dangerous.

"If this truly was an exit, they wouldn't put a button here to deactivate the air flow."

I mean Derek made this challenge, so I can believe that.

You can sabotage someone else with it.

I think the best way to figure this out is to throw Yul in here and see what happens.

"It looks fun honestly. I could try."

Oh, okay. Grett stepping up.

"Maybe someone a little bit more athletic."

Oh, okay.

Thanks for volunteering, Yul.

We'll happily sacrifice you instead!😈

"I pick Yul to go in."

YES 😈

"I second this motion!"

Of course Riya approves XD

"Yul can have his own showing! The vent will make him fly! Far away! Where nobody will hear him again!"

*Google AI Ad*

OH FUCK OFF

HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MY DAILY YUL TORTURE FILL!

HOW DARE YOU ADS!!

Anyway YEESS!!

😈

ME LIKE.

"Let me know when you have the clue!"

They're not letting him down.

They're just gonna walk away XD

That look like it hurt.

Not that I care about Yul's well being or anything.

Send him back up again. Just for the lols.

Riya and Alec bullying Yul gives me LIFE.

I didn't expect these two to be evil besties, BUT I AM SO HERE FOR IT!

Oh wow they changed up the confessionals.

"Yul is a right prick! No matter how much my ex wife bothered me, I would never go as low as to insult her appearance."

I love that this team hates Yul just as much as I do.

Also I feel like that confessional should've been right after he made that body shaming comment. But that's just me with a pacing nitpick.

"Hang on Jake, I'm not done."

"Like you know what you're looking for."

Oh great. Here we go.

DON'T GRAB IT FROM HER, YOU'LL BREAK IT!

"Wait! I want to try a password!"

You literally just said 'there's gotta be a password around here somewhere'. Implying you're gonna search around the room.

What do you think pressing random buttons is gonna do?

OH GOOD JOB /s

That's Jake's fault.

Now you're all gonna die because of him being an impatient idiot.

"What's wrong with you?"

"You told me to let it go!"

And you didn't think he would fall and break it?

"Both of you shut up already!"

THANK YOU ASHLEY.

I'd be pissed too.

"Can't we be a team?"

"But-"

"But nothing!"

YEAH. SHUT UP JAKE.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

"Let's keep looking, and next time I'll say when either of you hold the clue! Got it?!"

"Which will be NEVER! Because you're both incompetent fools! I'm starting to miss the child!"

Oh we're doing a montage.

Walking.

That's it, that's the clip.

More walking.

Oh Jake can be trusted with tools now.

And they're both immediately back to working well together.

What was the iPad for then?

"By the way, I hope you brought your tablets because you can't activate your shuttles without it!"

"Tablet? OH YEAH WE BROKE THAT!"

"Oh. Well. You're gonna die then."

And more walking.

And Magenta is the only team actually doing shit this whole montage.

Oh. Everyone's here. Okay.

Where'd she get a card key from?

OH NO JAKE!!!!

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA DO THAT!

ALLYSON JUST KILLED HIM!!

"Oh... I didn't think it was gonna do THAT... ah well, I never liked that bitch anyway. That's karma for the iPad."

OKAY ALLYSON MIGHT HAVE JUST KILLED EVERYONE!

OH NO NOT THE QUEEN!!

COME ON, NOT BOTH MY STANS DYING FIRST!!!

"OH SO THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A DISNEY VILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINNNN!!!!!"

"Calm down Aiden, I'm sure we're gonna be-"

NOPE HE'S DEAD.

YOU'RE ALL DEAD.

And then Aiden's VA does the intermission XD

"Hey! It's me Aiden! This is me talking from heaven! Because as you just saw, I HAVE FUCKING DIED!"

I already talked about the Greetings in a previous episode. So I'm not saying anything here.

Are they not all dying?

They just took one person from each team and fed them to the belly of space, and space said "Nah, I'm full. I'll come back tomorrow."

"I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?"

"The good news is that you were not chosen to be the victims. Those three though? Yeah, THEY'RE DEAD."

Oh so it's up to them. Okay.

This seems like a bad idea to rely on these guys.

OUCH.

If that's how far you fell, how are you all alive?

Or they're not, and they're all in hell right now.

Idk why Aiden would be in hell though.

Maybe this is like that Digital Circus episode where they're sent to hell.

"Oh. You."

OH YEAH RIYA LEFT AIDEN FOR DEAD XD

TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT XD

Yeah they have beef.

"Uh, you two need a moment?"

Jake has no context.

"Nope."

The way she said that. Classy.

"Nope!"

"Jake, this woman almost killed me."

"Get over it."

Get over it? YOU LEFT HIM FOR DEAD.

I stan you, but god.

"Well I don't suppose anyone here is Spider Man."

Spider Man? That's very random.

Are they working together?

I don't think you can trust ANYONE in this room.

*AFK Journey Ad*

And I can't trust YouTube apparently.

Why are we cutting to these guys?

"Oh my god, I know that look! You're jealous! You are peanut butter and jelly!"

Yeah idk why he's in love with Krystal. But sure.

"It's not fair that HE gets the girl! Why can't I flirt with the woman bossing us around?!"

"I'm not jealous of Krystal!"

"I never mentioned Krystal."

Why would you be jealous of the person you're trying to win? Wouldn't you be jealous of the person with her?

"I've been locked in prison for two years, away from Derek!"

Away? You two were in the same prison. Huh?

Obviously I've never been to prison. How does that work?

"When we came back as interns, I thought it would be just the two of us, roughing it out like the good old days."

You thought it would be just the two of you. When you were under contract with Krystal. And you knew this going in.

Sure.

Oh so he's not jealous that he's not the one with Krystal, he's jealous he's not the one getting the promotions. Okay, I get it now.

"Trev? Do you like him?"

They're friends. Duh.

"What? No no no me and Derek are just friends."

Yeah. They're just friends.

WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?

Bro what?

Okay, so I thought what was going on is: Love triangle between Trevor Derek and Krystal. And KRYSTAL was the point of it.

BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

I'm genuinely confused though. Cause there was like, absolutely NOTHING romantic about Trevor and Derek whatsoever. SO THIS COMES RIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE.

WHY THE HELL ARE WE DOING THIS?!

I GET IT! EVERYONE IS GAY!! I'M AN ACE GAY!!! CAN WE NOT CRAM IT PLEASE?!?!

"You gotta show Derek you appreciate him as much as Krystal does."

Yeah that won't lead to you getting fired.

"Me first!"

"Wait why?"

Because ladies first. That's the rule.

Also she's gonna kick the ladder down.

"I'm the most famous!"

Yes. Yes she is. 👑

"I assembled the ladder!"

"Well, I picked up the ladder and placed it on the wall!"

Sorry Jake. That's nowhere near as impressive.

"Oh cool, you can PICK UP a ladder. Try BUILDING ONE."

Um, guys? Riya's kinda slaying right now. You might want to cut it.

Come on, did you expect anything less from Riya? OF COURSE she was going to do that!

And now Aiden and Jake are stuck in hell together.

Well they did say hell is other people.

"Let's try pushing this table against the wall."

Yeah but I think Aiden's too short.

I guess he could use Jake as a stepstool.

THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG.

So do they all have keycards? I thought Allyson had the Magenta one.

XD

OH NO COME ON THAT'S DIRTY!!

COME ON!!!

"Sorry! That's the game! You understand, right?"

OH.

AND YOU SHOOT AIDEN'S OWN STATEMENT RIGHT BACK AT HIM TOO?!

I don't know whether to call Jake a jerk, or a slayer.

Oh so Cyan just dies now.

"You win some goodies for a beach day!"

I mean they already live on the beach, so that's perfect.

"I thought there'd be more fire."

Gabby was expecting to go to hell.

"You actually thought we had the money to send you to space?"

Um, YES?!?!?!?!

WHAT WAS I WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME?!?!

LIKE I WAS NOT HALLUCINATING THOSE SHOTS THAT SHOWED THEY WERE IN SPACE, RIGHT?!?!?

THEY WERE IN SPACE!

YOU CLEARLY SHOWED THEY WERE IN SPACE!!

RIGHT HERE! YOU SHOWED IT!!!!!

IF THEY WERE NOT IN SPACE, WHY HAVE THOSE SHOTS THERE?!?!?!

I AIN'T BUYING YOUR SHIT KRYSTAL!!! THERE'S PROOF RIGHT THERE!!!!

MY WHOLE LIFE WAS A LIE!!!!!!

I think this is worse than the VR twist.

Oh hey Gabby and Ellie!

"I need to show you something! It's a gift from the challenge!"

"The immunity idol?!"

😂

Oh my god.

Did MY POST do this to Ellie?

She tried to take my advice. THE ONE TIME SHE CAN'T DO THAT.

😂

"You can show me later."

Oh don't be like that.

Maybe the bunny IS the idol or something?

"You want to talk about tonight?"

"Don't worry. I won't vote for you."

I'm a bit at a loss of what's going to happen.

I think the bunny has to be an idol.

Ellie makes the most sense to go here. But she also has a plotline, so I don't think they're gonna boot her. But I can't see them getting rid of anyone else.

So the bunny has to be an idol so Ellie can lay it. That's the only thing that makes sense.

"Ellie's someone I actively know outside the game, I don't know if I can vote for her."

So... a tie?

A tie would make sense too.

Idk. Ellie is giving a lot of elimination flags, but also I don't think they're going to do that.

"Aiden, can you leave? Me and Tess need to talk."

"Uh, can you ask a little nicer?"

"PLEASE."

"Can you PLEASE leave?"

XD

She actually said that XD

"Why does this keep happening? I'm in the middle of this hugely impactful vote again."

Yeah poor Tess.

And she can't walk the fence this time either.

"Either way, someone's going to be upset at me."

*PieBlock Ad*

I'M THE ONE THAT'S UPSET. ADS!!

STUPID STUPID ADS!

Literally Ellie is the ONLY elimination that makes sense here!

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD IMPACT THE STORY, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

QUICK GABBY! GIVE ELLIE THE BUNNY AND FIND THE IDOL INSIDE!

Nope. The bunny is not the answer.

'ELLIE'

Dammit.

'AIDEN'

Why'd you spell it like that?

'AiDEN'

'ELLIE'

Oh dammit they are getting rid of her!

Oh my god I'm so torn on how I feel about this.

'AIDEN'

It's gotta be Ellie then.

Unless Tess threw her vote again.

OH TESS.

OH TESS. WHAT DID YOU DO?!

"Yes! In your face Ellie!"

XD

Gee I wonder if Tom is happy.

"YES! REVENGE!!"

THIS IS REVENGE!!!

"But we're your friends!"

Yeah. But you should've expected that. She proved she couldn't be trusted last elimination when she threw her vote.

You should have expected her to flip!

IT'S ALMOST LIKE IF LAKE WAS STILL HERE, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF ELIMINATED.

I WAS RIGHT!!!

"Aw, no help from the villain alliance?"

See, even the characters are mocking her shitty gameplay.

Cause yeah. SHE DID THIS TO HERSELF.

"I did this for your own good. This game isn't healthy for you."

Yeah. I get that.

Honestly, MORALLY, I think Tess did the right thing.

I think this DOES make sense. Ellie was screwed since Episode 3.

But I'm also very shocked.

I was very convinced they were doing a plotline with her. Having her morals be tested and being forced to choose between her easy spot towards winning and her loving girlfriend.

Only for that to result in ONE conversation? Have that NOT lead to ANYTHING. And then she's eliminated?

REALLY???

And I thought she and Gabby were gonna be the lead characters going into the second half of the show, so... WOW.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN MERGE!!

"I didn't think you'd be leaving so soon."

Yeah me neither. I'm shook.

"I'm not good when I'm alone."

Alone again, I'm assuming that's what she means.

Cause she's been alone all her life prior to Ellie.

"Be careful Gabby. These people may seem like they have your best interest in mind, but they don't."

Is she talking about the villains?

AWWWWWW ❤️

OH THAT'S SO CUTE!!

ELLIE WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO?!

They're so sweet. I wanted more of them.

"Tess told me you found out the truth about the villain alliance."

Oh so NOW you're confronting her about this.

AFTER you're already eliminated so you don't have any consequences now? TESS JUST CHOSE FOR YOU. DAMMIT.

Not what I wanted, I'll say that much.

"I want you to know I was roped into it last minute."

No you weren't.

You liar.

Are you actually lying right now?!

"I would never make an alliance without you."

BULLSHIT.

"God knows how much that three million dollars would've changed my life, but... I'd lose a thousand of these game shows if it means you and I are still okay."

I mean it's nice you reached that conclusion at least.

Idk, I don't think this character arc was done well at all.

Ellie should've had more screen time this episode.

This episode is what, five, ten minutes shorter than usual? Yeah, you could've absolutely used screen time to focus on Ellie!

"Don't worry Ellie. I'll win this for both of us!"

I AM TEAM GABBY ALL THE WAY! LET'S GO! 👏

"These traitors kicked out my girlfriend! I can't trust any one of them!"

OOOOHHHH SHE TOOK THIS PERSONALLY

TESS YOU'RE FUCKED

"Maybe I should take Ellie's place and work with her villain alliance to make sure those three pay for their crime!!!"

OOH!!!

OH SHE'S REALLY PISSED

GABBY THE TRAITOR?!?!?!

OKAY THAT'S AN EXCITING CLIFFHANGER!

OKAY THINGS JUST GOT INTERESTING!!

Idk, I'm VERY TORN on Ellie's elimination here.

Character motivation-wise, logic-wise, YES. IT MAKES SENSE TO BOOT HER HERE.

It WOULD be bullshit if they didn't.

Also Ellie completely fucked up her game with the Lake blindside, THAT'S what really did her in here. YES I'M GONNA MAKE ANOTHER LIST. NOW I CAN CAUSE SHE'S GONE.

Tess's betrayal does make sense. She's a girl who values morals above the game. It's very in line with her character in Season 2. Aiden and Tom were obviously going to vote Ellie as well, especially Tom.

IT DOES MAKE SENSE.

But... idk. I feel like Ellie could've stayed longer.

Obviously I don't know the full elimination order of this season, so my statement here may change. I feel like Ellie should have lasted longer in this season.

But I don't know who they could've booted instead. That's the problem.

Tom and Aiden have a plotline. Jake has a plotline. Allyson has a plotline. The yellow team has a plotline, so it makes no sense for any of them to go. Tess doesn't make any sense. Gabby doesn't make any sense. Ashley doesn't make any sense.

So yeah, Ellie really was the only person that could've logically been eliminated in this episode. There's no other option.

BOOT YUL!!! WHY IS HE STILL HERE?!?!

Maybe it's just wasted potential, ya know?

Ellie's a very complex character as is. I diss on her for her lack of smarts, but I actually do like her character and I wanted to see more of her.

Her joining the villains? Interesting. Very interesting choice. She would do this. Not because she's evil, but because she feels like it's a safe bet to winning, her main objective. She IS willing to ditch her moralities to get that money. Cause she needs it. She's DESPERATE.

So when they had Gabby not be given the knowledge of this happening and her finding out, and forcing Ellie to choose between her greed and her love for Gabby + her morals? THAT'S SO INTERESTING.

And I thought this would be an arc for her over multiple episodes. Maybe she even infiltrates the villain alliance and sabotages it. Maybe even at the cost of her own spot in the game. Redemption Arc. Heroic Sacrifice.

BUT NO. We had that one conversation with Tess where that question was brought onto the table. Then Ellie does nothing about finding that answer.

Then TESS does the decision making FOR ELLIE by eliminating her. So now she has to choose Gabby, she already lost!

So... what was the point of that?

Also she publicly humiliates Jake THREE TIMES, more depending on how many interviews she did, and apparently that doesn't amount to anything for her?

Those two's relationship was such a big deal in Season 1. Not that it need to be here too.

Idk, all I know is GABBY IS GOING TO SHINE NOW! AND I AM HERE FOR IT!!

Gabby is going to be a finalist this season. NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

Especially if she is getting involved with the Villains Alliance?! YEAH. SHE'S A MAJOR PLAYER NOW.

SHE IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING.

In that sense, maybe eliminating Ellie WAS the right move and a good twist. Because then it leads to GABBY being the major player who infiltrates the villain alliance instead. Except she's going to be successful at doing so.

That's my prediction right now: Final 8 Mergers are going to be Gabby, Ashley, Allyson, Aiden, and the Yellow Team.

Jake's ABSOLUTELY FUCKED. Tom's gonna be gone too once they get their shit together. Tess is fucked after this move.

And then after that, Gabby is going to betray the villains and get Yul out. Then it's a fair game where anything can happen.

I don't know. I'm torn. What do you think of Ellie's elimination? Was it the right move?

[luka-ali]

My Lovely Belphegor (Belphegor x Reader)

Obey me OG Story: Spoilers: Lesson 15-18

Sinners are sent to prison, locked up so they could redeem their mistakes and learn from them. I always wondered why I was locked up in the attic by my own brother, whom I had nothing but love for. Now, there is only hatred, the same I have for them..

Those wretched humans...

The one who destroyed my family, my home, my sanity and...My lovely sister..Lilith.  

I hate Lucifer!!

I hate those humans!!

All of the ones who hurt me should just disappear!!!

"Lord Diavolo, an exchange program? what is this now? have you hit your head or something?" I remember clearly that I had said that. 

But all my feelings were brushed aside with one glare from my prideful brother. 

“Lucifer! You have to talk to lord Diavolo, tell him to kill this exchange program,” I fought back for what I thought was right. For myself..

“It’s time you forget about Lilith” Brother coldly replied..

HOW DARE YOU!! 

 Big Brother?Why?Why did you forget about Lilith?

I won’t allow it, I will never allow it!

I won’t forgive you! I won’t forgive you!

“All the fighting and now it seems like I am stuck in this attic. Am I wrong somehow? Someone help me?” I continued to bury all those feelings, I swear I will destroy all humans and I will start with..Diavolo’s precious human exchange student. 

(Y/n) (L/n).. I’ve come to learn that name when Mammon yelled it when he was trying to make a run from Levi who was chasing him for money. At that time I was annoyed, their hollering woke me from my slumber. 

“Come here human, only you can save me,” I remember calling you, to me, the one that shall be your grim reaper. 

“Hello, who are you?” You softly questioned. 

Cute, you were cute for a human but that will not save you from my millennia of accumulated hatred. 

“I am a human..just like you," I lied, you smiled. 

Did you feel at ease? To be in the presence of a human? Surely Solomon was far from human. This is going smoothly, too easy.

Come little lamb, I’ll kill you softly. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“(Y/n)!! (Y/n)!! This is not funny at all? Get a hold of yourself,” My stupid scumbag of a brother, foolishly cried over an irrelevant human. 

I let out a chuckle, it was hilarious. 

“I'm feeling the happiest I felt in a long time,” I internally smiled, externally laughed. Lucifer looked panicked, it must be because his reputation along with Diavolo is now in the gutter. 

This is what happens if you test my patience. 

But…

Beel..? 

Why are you looking at me as if I hurt you?

It was just some irrelevant human. 

“(Y/n)!! Asmo yelled in surprise, I thought it was foolish, I killed you, but you were standing right there. 

“How are you still alive? It doesn’t matter, I’ll just kill you,” I came to that conclusion. 

“Wait!! Lilith lived, she lived as a human,” you said. 

What..

Lucifer pledges loyalty to Diavolo in exchange for Lilith to be reborn as human?

That she lived happily?

And that THIS human is actually a distant descendant of human Lilith?

LIES!! LIES!!  LIES

“I refuse to believe all this nonsense” I said in annoyance. All this is just a plot to manipulate me. It can’t be!

“It’s true..”Lucifer admitted. If it is coming from his mouth then it must be true. If it is true, then what does it do for me now but I know that a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

“(Y/n) is Lilith’s descendant,” I internally thought as I ran to embrace you in tears and that time you froze up, I didn’t care. 

The whole time I was sitting next to you clinging to your arm, drinking tea, and bickering with my brothers, I only valued my feelings, not your trembles. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I wonder? I fell for you. 

I did notice that you were very distant in the beginning but after a few moments you started to smile at me. You successfully repaired my awkward relationship with my brothers. I am grateful to you, your kindness, your strength to move on, and your sweet smile.

 The first Mammon:

“Belphi, that order is table 6,”

“Heheh, Mammon there is sauce on your nose,”

“Belphi, come’on don’t fall asleep here,”

“Thanks for tagging along for helping me buy a gift for Diavolo, I appreciate it, really!!”

The second Leviathan

“Belphi.. Um.. Levi had to receive a package.. What do you say, wanna play with me?”

“ Bephi, left.. Go left, we are going to lose!!”

“Want me to caress your hair till you fall asleep? Sure!!”

“Hmm, hmmmm, sleep well”

The third Satan

“Anti-Lucifer league?! Me!?” 

“Haha Diavolo’s babygirl must be a password to the study!”

“The lecture is tiring,”

“Wanna study with Satan and me?”

The fourth Asmo

“Belphi! Your fashion sense is amazing!”

“Your taste matches my style.”

“Thank you for choosing this for me!!”

“I’ll make sure to wear this to Diavolo’s birthday party.”

The fifth Beel 

“Beel! I think you should forgive yourself,”

“The love between twins is the most beautiful one.”

“I’m sure, it will all be alright,”

“I’m always here. Do your best!!”

“Beel, you are the protector of the family and everyone is counting on you!!”

The last Lucifer

“That’s brave of you!! I’ll always be by your side.”

“Thank you for protecting me!”

“I’m sure Lilith lived in a way she deserved.”

“You brothers make me so happy!”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember clearly, that day..when I asked you to make me yours. When you said yes, I was happy. Very. When my mark came onto your body that was the time I must’ve fallen in love with you.

(Y/n), you embrace me when I’m sad. 

You cuddle with me when I want to sleep.

You are not afraid of my presence anymore. You forgive me right? 

You let me lay on your shoulders or lap and play with my hair.

You helped me bond with my brothers.

You talk to me about the stars. 

If you are doing all this for me that means that you love me…?

That would be the conclusion right?

Me and you and Beel in my sweet dreams. I will make that happen, starting now. 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“(Y/n), I love you and I know that you love me too, right?” Belpheghor confessed to me, with a small blush on his face. He looked adorable. 

“Ha..hhee..” I softly chuckled at the confusion. This was really hilarious. 

“HAHAHA, HAHAH,” He laughed at me when I was struggling for air. 

“What is it Belphi? Did you think I was in love with you?” I questioned him with a smile on my face. 

“I thought..” He couldn't answer, Just like when I couldn’t ask for help. 

“Demons are such idiots or it is only you?’ I asked, mocking him.

“Humans are such foolish, idiotic, weak creatures,”He mocked when I felt betrayed. 

“You tricked me..?” He questioned softly in both parts of shock and despair. 

“Tricked..? I didn't even try,” I laughed at the pathetic demon. 

“You are so stupid, I can’t help but laugh, don’t blame me for TRICKING YOU, “He laughed ,at me, I felt insulted. 

“Thank you for killing me Belphi~, I’ll admit you are a little awkward but have a pure heart, but I don’t like you one bit, I don’t hate you either,” I said as I twirled in amusement, his eyes widened in hope. 

“You are irrelevant to me, lovely belphegor,”I coldly said and he broke. 

A merciful person would kill you for what you have done to me. But I? I’ll mentally ruin you and when you had enough, you will kill yourself

“I’m not your sister, I’m (Y/n), the merciless,  who will ruin your life,”