#and not emotionally devastate myself with it
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There are a few things I wanna talk about in the newest helluva episode Mastermind, but firstly...
Im gonna throw myself off of a cliff this is so sweet... holy sh*t.
Now onto to the painful stuff...
Loona getting myzzled and staying that way the whole trial is the most ef'd thing for the whole episode. Talk about disrespectful, if Blitz had died she wouldn't have been able to say she loved him.
Then there's this whole scene that was extremely painful to watch. Both Loona and Moxxie are looking away as Blitz is about to be executed so he's only able to make eye contact and feel comfortable in his final moment by Millie. She's the only one who doesn't look aways even though he is her best friend and it must be unbearable.
THISSS MAKES ME ANGRY!!!!! It's on site when I see Stella again, talk about emotional abuse.
Then there's the stuff after the trial that just breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Let's talk about how stolas despite clearly still being angry is willing to die for blitz, only at the end of the episode to tell him "always" as if the decision wasn't difficult. It was.
There there's the look he gives to Blitz and Loona when they hug, and she says she loves him. There must be sooo many thoughts running through stolas's brain. He's thinking about how Blitz almost lost this, about how imp really is his family, he's probably thinking about his own daughter, and he probably thinks this is all his fault.
It's going to be devastating to see the low stolas is going be at both literally and emotionally.
#helluva#helluva boss#hb#stolitz#blitz x stolas#blitzø#hb spoilers#hb stolas#hb millie#hb moxxie#hb loona#hb octavia#hellaverse#vivziepop#vivzieverse#helluva mastermind#hb mastermind#stolas
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i still can't form coherent thoughts but just know that this ending...
(ESPECIALLY THAT LAST LINE) had me feeling like this:
LIKE WDYM HE'S SCARED OF THE SHEER WEIGHT OF HIS ATTACHMENT TO HER AND THAT HE WANTS TO CRY AT THE FEELING OF FINALLY HAVING SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW HIM FULLY AND LOVES HIM UNCONDITIONALLY? WDYM HE ONCE TOLD HER THAT IF SHE DECIDES TO GO BACK, IT'S ENOUGH THAT SHE'S OUT THERE IN THE WORLD HAPPY, CONTENTED, AND SAFE BECAUSE HER STAYING TRUE TO HERSELF AND INSPIRING HIM TO DO THE SAME GIVES HIM MEANING AND SUFFICIENT MOTIVATION TO CONTINUE LIVING? WDYM HE TRIES SO HARD TO COME OFF AS ALOOF AND NONCHALANT WHEN IN REALITY, HE FEELS HIS EMOTIONS SO STRONGLY AT TIMES THAT HE'S AT RISK OF BEING UNDONE BY THEM AND THAT LOVE DRIVES HIM TO ACT SELFLESS LIKE HE DID WITH HIS FATHER, WITH JUDE, AND NOW WITH MC? WDYM CYBIRD WDYM
#congrats to harrison for being the first ikemen character that uncomfortably reminds me of myself ig#hope y'all allow me this post cuz i am just a girl with very big feelings#NEED I MENTION THAT HE DREAMED ABOUT HIS FATHER IN THIS SAME EPILOGUE AS WELL#cybird was really cooking in the studio when they wrote this#they're lucky i was too emotionally devastated to get a smoke after reading this#man...#ikevil#ikemen villains#harrison gray
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should i draw one of those meet the artist things one of these days ,,
#hina.txt#i always want to do stuff like this but end up never getting around to it#so much more interesting stuff to draw than Myself fyjttgjkh#but i have gotten a surge in followers recently (waves awkwardly hiiii) n thought maybe it cld b fun? idk#depending on how emotionally devastated i am after tmr's chapter we'll see if i want to do Anything gjfgksdf#holding strong holding strong ANYWAY
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#tlt#the locked tomb#it was nona for me#i have never been more emotionally devasted by a work of fiction in my life#I've read the first two probably 5 times#and Nona only once because i simply can't put myself through that again oh my god
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hey gang, do we all agree that ten's massive ego and god complex (or rather those traits being especially prominent in his regeneration) were a direct result of what happened in Parting of the Ways?
"marlena what the fuck do you mean" okay well think about it; ninth doctor. fresh off the time war. thinks himself unlovable, unworthy of love. just did a double genocide, including against his own people. he's returning to his old ways of lallygagging around helping humans in a more-than-desperate attempt to repress his feelings and try to mimic the person he was before the war. he's so vulnerable.
enter rose tyler. to him? she's the most amazing person in the universe. he loves her, full stop. she makes him feel like maybe he's still capable of love, but does he really trust her love for him? after all, she doesn't really know him, does she?
all that comes to a head when rose tyler becomes the bad wolf. in that moment, she sees everything. everything everything. the doctor's past, and the doctor's future. every horrible thing they did and will do.
and in that moment, with all this truth streaming constantly into her brain, most amazing person in the universe rose tyler looks at him and goes "i want to save you. you are worth saving."
bro no fucking shit ten has a motherfucking god complex, jesus christ i would too!!!
now personally i think nine would have rationalized it and been relatively Normal 'bout all that noise had he survived onwards, but unfortunately he didn't, and so when the doctor's subconscious and the universe were holding hands deciding what their new little guy should be like... well, we're already making him just for her, and she loves him.
rose tyler loves me. she loved me even when she knew me.
i'm just saying, that "Bad Wolf chose to save me" to "the laws of time are mine to command" pipeline is a straight vertical drop only a few feet long.
#there's also an argument to be made about the time vortex being responsible for his death#and how that might have contributed too#yeah sorry the inpenatrable waves of time lived inside your boyfriend and killed him#yeah and it kinda fucked up his regenerarion#so sorry girl your boyfriend's new life is tainted with the pull of ultimate power over one's domain#this won't actually mean much to you since your boyfriend will split in two#and the one you'll get to keep is too busy having a human brain and being warborn#but this will have horrible consequences for him after he turns six#and will emotionally devastate just about every other person he crosses paths with#but hey that's alright; remember that drunk guy who foretold good tidings on new year's?#yeah that was your boyfriend. he went back to see you as he was dying from the results of his god complex.#he came back to be with the reason he did everything— the reason he was— one last time#okay i'm making myself cry right now i gotta chill#running my mouth#doctor who#nuwho#tenth doctor#10th doctor#ninth doctor#9th doctor#the doctor#rose tyler
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Please rb if you vote ;3
#I personally feel that it's Aziraphale#as Crowley was able to at the very least finally express his love for Aziraphale#but do not get it twisted he is still VERY emotionally repressed#I just feel like it's a little less so than the Angel#good omens season 2#good omens 2#good omens#ineffable divorce#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#go2#poll#I've got GO brainworms somebody please save me from myself#I can't stop#ever since that DEVASTATING season 2 finale it is all I can think about
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reading the poppy war in public so everyone knows that i’m dying on the inside.
#im sad#i like to emotionally torture myself by rereading the most devastating book ive ever read in my entire life#rf kuang#poppy war#the poppy war#rin#kitay#nezha#altan#chen kitay#fang runin#altan trengsin#yin nezha
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soldiers, we have officially moved from the brainstorming to the outlining process for my aang mcd fic o7
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Fully caught up on the manga (minus spoilers for the last chapter) and..... Ya know what maybe I am a villain stan because I just.... Don't trust that anything really changes in society. Everyone outside of heroes, when given speaking parts, seems to indicate that they'll step in or do something in order to protect themselves - not out of any sense of responsibility or community, but to safeguard their lives in case the other person ends up a villain. Or maybe I'm just pessimistic? But we've seen irl time and again that this ending attitude doesn't work. Doesn't have change. Certainly not long lasting change. I really really wanted to finish the series still liking Deku but throughout the fight, every cut back to someone other than Deku, talking about his heart and how good he was and how much he was doing to fight for the person - and the cut back is just "punch". He never responded to Shigaraki's words. He never engaged with the man himself. And at the end of the day, I feel more trust in Uraraka. More trust that she'll actually work on saving people's hearts. And she's back in construction work like her parents. And of course the camera dies and no one sees Toga's heart. Because how dare anyone think a villain could be a person (paraphrased that one interview guy).
I really really wanted to end this manga happy with it. I'm not stupid enough to conflate the reality of the story with fandom. I'm not. I really wanted to enjoy it for what it is. But when they directly ask "how do we fix villains being made" the answer is "you don't. We can't" and ???? That's supposed to be what the manga was working towards this whole time? I - .....
#the bee talks#idk. maybe im just too damaged to fit in society anymore myself. ha.... fuck.#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#i think deku still has a lot of growing up to do. i know blah blah his innocence is ruined and he's irrevocably changed but.#.... i think its more that we see other characters understand more than deku has. horikoshi can write it. he just.... didnt for the guy#we're supposed to have placed our hope and trust in.#mha#bnha#like i feel sick to my stomach because this is devasting but also guilty bc i wanted to like it i was hopeful.#i mean!!!! I STILL LIKE THE ENDING. IM GOOD WITH IT!! i just dont like how the underlying themes were finished.#im not even salty about the villains dying- i feel like being alive wouldve always left a way for horikoshi to be pressured to return to mha#like.... story plot wise im good with it! its just that the last few chapters are supposed to be feel good wrap up and im.... empty.#if i was the same person i was when i first started mha and even up until a few years ago i wouldve really really liked it all.#haaa... maybe I'm just too jaded. sorry yall i really tried my best and I'll enjoy whatever the last chapter holds! i will! i just...#need some time to emotionally remove myself from it i guess. (massive props to Horikoshi for making me care about all of the characters)
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One of the things that has puzzled me the most is the question of how Demyx ended up in his current condition if he's the MoM.
After spending like a whole day thinking about the Darkness for completely unrelated reasons, an idea finally hit me.
It might have been the Darkness.
Darkness is said to prey on strong emotions. At the end of KHUX, the MoM finally begins to crack a little. When pressed by Luxu, he suddenly stands from his desk and reiterates that they mustn't let sentiment affect their actions. It's like he was saying it for his own sake - something he's probably repeatedly told himself before. In that scene, it's clear that he regrets his course of action, but he had to tell himself that it was the only way. If there had been another way, then what about all of the allies he's lost? Was it his fault for being unable to save them? It was probably easier to tell himself that there was nothing he could do. The MoM believes in the inevitability of the future he's seen, and Luxu accuses him of running away. And he's right. The MoM seems like he even knows that Luxu's right, considering the fact that he was banking on Luxu and the Dandelions being able to accomplish something that he hadn't been able to do.
Those are probably the emotions that allowed the Darkness to use the MoM as its vessel. Feelings of uselessness, the feeling that he's already lost before he's begun, that it isn't even worth trying.
He's a coward. Luxu sees it. MoM knows it, too.
The MoM said that he wanted to kick back and relax, but I don't think there would be anything relaxing about his escape to the fictional world if he were left alone with his guilt. He couldn't run away from the fact that he was running away.
So, I hypothesize that the Darkness preyed on those feelings. Having been exposed to his own insecurities, he could no longer recognize himself as he used to be. That's how you end up with Demyx.
The Darkness might be what made Xemnas realize that Demyx was an ancient wielder, but now that he's like this, nobody would realize that he's the MoM. lol
Basically, what I'm envisioning:
Darkness: Haha, yes! Succumb to your negative emotions!! MoM: onnghhgn, you're right... i'm useless... Darkness: N... No... Don't you want to destroy the world? Don't you want to spread darkness?? MoM: i don't want to do anything anymore... Darkness: Oh no.
Am I right? Who knows. But I'm entertained.
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Who else is not emotionally prepared for Candela Obscura this week?
#the insta stories have been a lot kf fun to watch#but some of the things they're saying about the next episode 👀#im not ready#i might have to relisten to the first two again though and emotionally devastate myself beforehand#candela obscura#critical role
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8x19 'the c-word' x 'night's thousand shadows' by christian wiman
#the heart#house md#8x19 the c word#um made myself so sad. actually#read the whole poem it's emotionally devastating#this is like my hundredth c word post forget about that though
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THANK YOU OLI I don't get the season 8 hype. No Cas, Sam and Dean have the same conflict they've been having the entire show with no new angles like why????
YEAH LITERALLY. inital conflict is literally dean being angry at sam for trying to move on and heal which is just so intensely unlikeable and for some reason i was shocked by it and it made me genuinely dislike him. to me dean is at his most awful in s8..... like he's not. he's definitely not. gadreel possession in s9 and like most of s9/10 with the mark is much worse than anything he does in s8 and killing amy in s7 was sooo awful too. but dean is just so intensely a dick in s8 and i was so angry with him and not even in a fun way. like in s9/10 he is AWFUL but i enjoyed the drama. i didnt even enjoy the interpersonal drama in s8. which is when you know something is wrong
then again. im probably too harsh on it and am basing it off memories of sitting through the first half because i LOVE the trials and sacrifice and the great escapist so so much. and i love kevin <3 he's s8 right. but. to me s8 will always be the worst season. maybe i just hate what it brings to the shows canon. sam leaving dean for a girl and a dog (which is NOT EVEN WHAT HAPPENED... and if it WAS it wouldve been justified.... id support sam even if i thought he abandoned dean unprovoked idc.....) is constantly brought back like the worst of his sins even as late as like. s11. SHUT UP. first half of s8 is just upsetting for sam reasons and not in a fun way
#i was fully a dean hater for a while back in s8#i still love and support dean haters i just could never manage being one myself. god bless.#self recognition through the other (derogatory) but i would never pull his s8 shit at least#i just. HATE the whole. omg sam is in the wrong for trying to move on even though thats what he wanted dean to do while he was gone#and he thought its what dean would want because surely he would want sam to be happy (no he wanted sam to destroy his life looking for him)#and deans going to punish him for the evil crime of Wanting His Own Life and Getting Free and the narrative is also going to condemn him fo#this and its going to be treated like yet ANOTHER thing he needs to repent for. season four all over again except season four was really#fucking GOOD it was just emotionally devastating. s8 isnt even GOOD. the episodes were fucking boring half the time#tbf i also didnt like s6 very much because i hated the campbells being brought back so much i found it devastatingly boring#and apparently s6 and s8 are some of the most popular seasons. so. shrug#i preferred s10 a hell of a lot to both of them.. am i crazy..... s10 wasnt good but like. it was entertaining and i liked watching dean ge#worse and worse and it had rowena and claire and sure its thematically a mess but it was enjoyable to me. plus i liked the finale a lot#spn#s8#objectively i do actually think some of s8 is much better than anything else but emphasis on SOME#i find dean entirely uninteresting also when hes just Sooo sooooooooooo angry all the time unless its coming out in more interesting fucked#up possessiveness or hes actually killing people. so s8 dean was so boring#anyway. s8 haters of the world unite#asks#oliver talks
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I've never watched la la land (a tragedy ik) but the line "I hope you get everything you've ever wanted and I hope I never hear a thing about it" is SO HEARTBREAKING AND GOOD.
like I need to write more angst just to include that line????
#im sure id love the film#but i cant bring myself to watch it#i already know its gonna emotionally devastate me#writing maybe??
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very random thought that makes me sad- i think rebecca was helping sparrow stand up during them getting tortured so when she disappeared, sparrow would have fallen and then looked up, thinking that rebecca fell and then he sees her just poof away i am going to eat drywall i am so sorry leaaaaa
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO MEEEEEEEEE I AM DISTRAUGHT WTF
LIKE. YOURE CORRECT THATS CANON IN MY HEART NOW. BUT OWIE
also taking this time to address your other asks lol yeah this scene hit me like a fucking BRICK. literally i was playing the ep in the background working on an essay and That Happened and i literally almost threw my laptop across the room like???? anthony count your fucking days i am On My Way With Hammers
and OUGHH YEAH THE TEENS SAYING GOODBYE TO D00D (collapses to the floor dead) i literally started weeping like ,, anthony said he wasn’t feeling very funny but he sure as hell was feeling very Let’s Make Leabee Sad,,,, d00d my BABYYYYY IM GONNA THROW MYSELF INTO THE OCEAN
ohhgh ok im normal im literally so emotionally stable rn hru
#i literally wandered around my room for like 10 minutes after the episode ended like what the hell am i supposed to do with myself now#just staring at the ceiling like. what is my life#anyway im fine this is totally fine and not emotionally devastating :D#ask#thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls#dndads#dndads spoilers
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man hot mulligan makes some absolute bangers for ppl with mental issues and shitty parents
#it's me im calling myself out here lol#like. they sound amazing even without rlly listening to the lyrics (which is kinda hard bc my auditory processing issues and the screaming)#but then I'll pull up the lyrics and be like oh. oh fuck. oh they made this song specifically to target me huh#like. kinda similar to spanish love songs where the music itself sounds great until you hear the lyrics and now it's emotionally devastating#i know the pit is gonna go hard bc how could it not but also i really hope it goes hard bc im gonna be having the time of my life in there#hot mulligan#mine
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