#and not because I haven't tried other games and don't know any better

[dare-to-dm]

I realize that this level of complexity is not to everyone’s tastes, but there is a perfectly good reason that the sleep spell is like this in 5E.

Basically, in the context of the type of gameplay you typically have in Dungeons and Dragons, Sleep would be boring if it always worked!  After all, that ends the encounter right there.  But if you introduce situations in which it might not work, or will only work on some portion of the creatures you cast it on, then you have tension and excitement again.  It’s cool when you pull it off instead of just being a given.

A lot of magic in D&D is like that for this reason.  Magic can be very swingy mechanically.  When it works, it hugely benefits you.  But it doesn’t always work!

And I understand that there are games that would introduce and resolve this tension in a different way.  Perhaps having the players or GM decide whether or not it works in return for some narrative benefit or penalty.  There are other valid approaches.  But some of us like having the Rules as Referee. 

people are often surprised when i say that dnd 5e is not by any measure 'rules-light' and to illustrate what i mean, here's the spell 'sleep' in dnd 5th edition:

and the spell 'sleep' in trophy gold

dnd 5th edition, across the three core sourcebooks (not including the many supplements that are hundreds of pages long!) is 960 pages long. trophy gold was originally released as 23 pages of a 46-page zine. it recently got a full release as its own book which is still only 250 pages long, of which 200 are devoted to prebuilt incursions (trophy's analogue to dnd campaign modules)

and trophy gold isn't even the simplest rpg out there -- i just picked it because it's playing in a similar genre space to 5e and so the point of comparisons are very direct and obvious. single-page rpgs are basically their own genre! there are tabletop rpgs you can learn in ten minutes or less! never let anyone tell you that dnd 5th edition is 'streamlined' or 'simple!' it's not even the simplest dungeons and dragons!

[the-internets-girlfriend]

Secrets in Doncaster: Part 1 - George Clarke

George Clarke x Y/N (1800 words)

A soccer Saturday in Doncaster is spent laughing and drinking with friends... and the occasionally minion. However, can a secret go viral?

warnings: alcohol consumption, creating bets, swearing, a grumpy minion.

series | masterlist | previous part | next part

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"And hi, I'm y/n and I also want to go to Brighton because I'm the pirate captain of the Arthur and Chris ship."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

The pub smelt of old beer and cheap crisps, as I sat sandwiched between Becky and George; a pear cider sat in my hand as I nursed the drink whilst listening to Chris explain the rules for todays soccer Saturday.

"And every time that your team scores you get to hand out a drink for someone else to do and every time that team concedes you have to down your drink." Chris explains to the group as I felt eyes to my left giving me a side-eye glance with a smirk.

"Oh shush George. You better not give me any drinks this video." I threaten, turning to face my boyfriend.

A chorus of laughter was heard from the group, as George shoots me a wink in my direction. "Darling, you got so plastered last time off of only three pints and it was hilarious." George tries to defend himself but luckily my best friend Becky has my back.

"Don't worry we'll gang up on the boys today. Girls for the win!"

"I'm taking offence to that. I thought we were going to stick together." Arthur Hill chimes up. He's referring to the last time the group had hung out at our George's' place. Becky and I may have had four too many cocktails made by Flo, and ended up having a drunk deep and meaningful conversation with Arthur.. Well it wasn't much a conversation, rather a large amount of gossip said by us girls as Arthur nodded along; and declaring himself to now be one of the girls.

"You take offence to everything, mate," the other Arthur hollered out as he down the remainder of his drink; raising the empty glass to the group, and silently offering if anyone else needed a drink.

"Ten quid he's gone before we even get to the surprise location." I whisper to George, as he signals his empty glass in return to get a refill.

"Ten quid says he's gone before we get off the train and it's a deal." George replies, stretching his hand out for a handshake. We shake to our deal and he moves his right arm to now stretch behind me, pulling me closer to this side. I raise an eyebrow to the motion and he replies to a shrug.

George and I have been together for a while now; but the only thing we haven't publicly announced it to the fans. We did the classic friends to dating scenario; where we've known each other since he first posted his jokes of TikTok, and I posting my first viral book video about authors I love and would die for on TikTok. Our fans and friends had always spotted something between George and I, but both of us were too scared to admit anything to each other until one movie night at my flat where he kissed me.

We simply hadn't told the fans as we were happy living in our little bubble with only the select group of people; including our family and friends knowing. Although, we both know how smart our fans are and they have began to notice the closeness between us, and are beginning to make twice as many fan edits of us, which is quite sweet and I often show to George when we're lying in his bed together.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

The remainder of our time spent at the so-called-quiet pub, of which didn't remain quiet with our cheers and reaction, was filled with eyes glued to the Tv and watching intense football games; and praying for a nice place to go and not some obscure ghost town.

"Doncaster? Where in the bloody world is that?" I exclaim out to the group, eyebrows raising as Chris and Becky pull out their phones to investigate.

I shifted away from George, leaning over Becky's shoulder to investigate alongside her. The small amount of distance between George and I did not exist for that long as he too moved himself; leaning into my, our bodies pushed flush together as he glanced over my shoulder to view the screen.

I glance over my shoulder, now pressed and stuck between my best friend and my boyfriend, catching George's eye as he looks at me smugly.

The remainder of the group consisted of the two Arthur's still researching about Doncaster, and Isaac leaning his head against the arm of the couch letting out a deep sigh before making a quick one-liner to Chris resulting in the bubbly laughter to explode from the group.

Finally George had leant back into the couch, with me following suit and nestling myself back into his side. Chris reached over for his bag from behind his couch.

And that's when I felt it - a soft pair of lips pressing into the side of my forehead.

In return, my hand quickly shot out, giving a smack to George's thigh. "George! the fans are going to go bonkers over that."

He let out a toothy grin, zero shame and a shrug, "good. Let 'em."

Before I could open my mouth to question my boyfriend, Chris' voice breaks the small silence. However, a thought lingered on my mind; does George want to tell our fans?

Chris is holding a card in on hand, of which displays six tasks, and Chris voice is heard explaining them all; and as the group thinks, Isaacs' voice cuts through.

"We should add a seventh task for George and Y/N... keep their hands off of each other."

George and I both give a shake of our heads, knowing this was not going to happen at all, as we're always drawn to each other.

Arthur Hill begins to agree with Isaac, "yeah maybe your secret from your fans will actually be well kept for once."

"Oh shut up Hill." I reply.

Becky begins to chime into the conversation too, "I think it should be if I can keep my hands off of Y/N." Becky then follows up her joke with pressing a kiss to my cheek.

George only gives a chuckle and a shake of his head before downing the remainder of his pint.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

We all sat on the train heading to Doncaster, as my eyes still regulated to the harsh bright lights in the train cabin. I was sat across from Becky with Chris next to me and the other four boys across the aisle from us.

"We're off on a big adventure with the boys." Becky declared cheerfully, the joke never wearing off as I chuckle at the inside joke. Chris gives the two of us a side eye before turning to the vlog camera with a theatrical eye roll.

Across the aisle, the boys chat about football - getting heated as the cheers for goals continue - but I was only half-listening. Becky, Chris and I, are playing an intense game of Uno from a deck I forced George to bring with the reward of a kiss.

I glance up from the deck for a moment, and see my boyfriend sitting across from me with his eyes closed and an index finger pointed at me. Then slowly, he opens his eyes with a grin, and the remainder of the boys let out an explosion of laughs.

"What?" I asked, suspicious.

"Sorry darling, but, you've got to have a drink." George snickers with mock sympathy.

"I hate you."

"No darling, you do in fact love me."

I roll my eyes, as Chris places a passionfruit martini can in front of me. I let out a groan and the automatic frown on my face shows exactly what I am thinking - I hate passionfruit.

Becky knows about my hatred after one time I yelled at a bartender for giving me the wrong drink once; she leaned in and whispered, "I have a plan."

The plan? For my new brand new Adidas sambas to be used for us to both do a shoey as we switch drinks; I hand her the passionfruit and take her whiteclaw.

"The boys can't one up us yet!" She exclaimed before we do the shoey. The group lets out a chorus of cheers as bystanders turn to look at us.

"And you've got to kiss those lips tonight George." Arthur TV blurts out, forgetting that it will need to be edited out.

"And there's more editing for me." Chris says.

""Oh I'm sorry guys." Arthur quickly says, bring him hand to cover his mouth."

"Don't worry about it mate." George says, not really minding what our fans see anymore.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

We keep drinking, as I loose tally of how much I've already had; it's somewhere between "I could have the confidence to run a half-marathon" and "I really want to make out with my boyfriend." The alcohol was beginning to take affect on the most of us; however, George sat there being effected.

We had shuffled seats a while ago, once we were first told the train was going to be held up and we all had to stand up to move our legs. I was now seated next to George, curled into side with my head resting against his bicep. I was engaged with an intense staring contest with Arthur TV across from me.

Simple rule we made; loser had to finish their drink. Which was a big stake for us both since we're both lightweights.

"Arthur I know you like to win, but not this time!" I mutter, narrowing my eyes.

"Yeah right," Arthur spat back at me.

I was winning the game; I knew it, Arthur eyes with starting to shut.

And then George's hand slid onto my thigh.

A tight squeeze.

Completely unexpected.

"HA! YOU BLINKED!" Arthur yelled out, throwing his hand up into the air as if he was thanking the imaginary crowd.

I groaned and let my face fall against George's chest in defeat, smacking a lazy hand against his stomach. "That was cheating."

"I didn't do anything," George said with fake innocence. I give him a pout and reach over to my full can and downed it in one go, pulling a face of disgust as I felt the bubble go down my throat.

"Oh no," Becky whispered across the aisle, watching me with wide eyes.

I buried my eyes into George's side, as I slurred the words, "this is your fault."

"And yet," he said smugly, nudging my head with his own, "no regrets." George kissed my forehead looking down at me.

"Now if they fans saw that, they would combust." Isaac joked to us both.

We let out a shared chuckle, as I latched my hand to his, intertwining our fingers. I felt three tight squeezes to my hands, as I responded to George with four tight squeezes.

Before anything else can be said, the train began moving again, dragging us closer to Doncaster; and to the events of which may happen there.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

and there's my first post!! I hope you all love it, as much as how much I loved creating it!

I realised I had so many ideas for this story; so have decided to make it a multiparter. However, if you have any requests, please send them through :)

See you next time,

mwah x

[bunsim]

Pink Soup Tip

hello gang. it's me. the guy who stopped playing because pink flashing on my nice gaming laptop made this thing unplayable (we're talking pink flash immediately upon loading a small lot). i've somehow stumbled my way into fixing it(?)

tldr; have you tried using Legacy's Graphics Rules.sgr file instead of using GRM?

that reddit is the only place i've seen anyone mentioning it, and after deleting my custom-tailored GRM and replacing it with legacy's EA-built version i literally don't have pink flashing anymore. i didn't edit it in any way but i removed dxvk (which overwrites your graphics card settings and hasn't helped me prior anyway) and i use the RPC launcher's no visualization mod (which doesn't help me with pink flash--it's just better on the eyes) and somehow i'm able to load and play lots without any pink.

other optimizations i've done afterwards that have further improved my performance:

forcing my laptop to always use Nvidia GPU

forcing Nvidia to use max settings (direct link to the mentioned MTS thread)

being selective with shaders. personally my laptop doesn't like Shader Fixes in combination with whatever else i have kicking (probably user error on my part for having conflicting shaders, but (personally) i like blue snow so i haven't done extensive testing to make it work). LD has his own version bundled with Lot Lighting Fix (but unfortunately it doesn't play with my lighting mod so I don't use it, but the option's there.)

(edit) deleting caches (via RPC upon load). i'm sure everyone already does this, but the few times i left my caches led to a slow load and almost immediate pink soup. i only mention this because i've seen some posts claim that *keeping* the caches helps, so try both options.

i know this isn't a revolutionary post, but as a guy who tried literally and i mean LITERALLY EVERYTHING to stop pink soup, the Legacy GR was a very unexpected small fix. i haven't updated my drivers or anything--but after using that and forcing Nvidia to use good settings, i've been able to use max settings, shadows, shaders, and load every lot on the same session with hundreds of objects. i don't want to jinx it but maybe you should try it.

~

my specs for reference: 11th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-11800H @ 2.30GHz 2.30 GHz Installed RAM 16.0 GB (15.8 GB usable) NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3050 Ti Laptop GPU

[ricedeity]

wanted to yap a little bit about my SV2 vimalion design process as i wait for my arm to recover from drawing all those fullbodies o(*￣▽￣*)ブ part 1 of ????

i have always loooooved vocaloid update designs, v4 update era was my Absolute Favorite, so when sv2 was announced, against my better judgement, i was absolutely determined to make "update" designs for all (checking) 28 ?? vimalion sv designs. ough

there were a few things i wanted to achieve:

i wanted the SV2 designs to feel more like a unified ensemble

i wanted it to be obvious from an immediate glance whether you were looking at a SV1 or SV2 design

i wanted to leave flexibility for new future SV2 (only) designs in the future

vimalion sv1 designs were largely "neutral colors (black, white) + key colors", so for sv2, i reduced this down to "dark neutrals (black, grey) + key colors, with a gradient". it does make everyone look a little bit emo, and some sv1 designs (like weishu) didn't have any light neutrals which kind of makes them fail point 2, but i think overall it worked out pretty well :')

i also gave everyone newwww hairstyles ^_^ because it's fun. but i made sure they were all hairstyles that didn't change the length or cut of the hair cuz i like the idea of them being able to switch between these designs at will lol

(also, i added an extra line to the logo. for Synth V Two)

but the main challenge of this premise is that there are many vimalion designs i simply feel like i nailed on the first shot. i simply think that some of the vimalion designs are Perfect. also some of them i made like, literally only months ago. so i can't really go a miku v4 or longya v4 route of trying to "improve" or "modernize" them with only slight adjustments.

to this end, my approach was more along the lines of v4 flower: take the same original Vision, but turn it into a different direction*

i feel like this approach lets each iteration have its own identity, and since i don't want the SV2 designs to be replacement for the SV1s but rather just New Additional Designs If You Want Them, i felt like it was the right approach :-)

*i know v4 flower was just based off a genderbend fanart but bear with me for the sake of my design theory lol

anyways, i haven't really talked publicly about the direction/themes/motifs/Visions for the vimalion dt designs, so i thought it'd be fun to identify them and talk about how i did them in a different flavor for their sv2 designs! some are a bit more interesting than others haha

Saki: the og, very first AI voicebank... so i wanted her to feel very Lowkey, very Tutorial Character. nonplayable secretary in the idol game vibe. so my vision for her is "chic sexy office lady", which i did with a sexy little tube top- fully out for her SV1 and buttoned up under her blazer (but still w some skin showing under) for SV2- combined w sexy officewear (it's just normal officewear?)

Qing Su: she and saki were the only faceless vocals for a while, so when people made fan designs they often made them reaaaally complex. so i wanted qing su to be elegant but simple: "marine fashion + hanfu". hence the sailor collar :-) SV2 has her showing more skin but i feel like it's like a "walk in the ocean" vibe. she's also got a bit of a lace subtheme in SV1 so i brought that back in SV2 with the gloves to kind of echo the "elegance" vibe of the long skirt.

also! back when letter vocals were only 1 letter i also tried to incorporate the letter into their designs... this didn't last long, but it did stick for qingsu- in her SV1 design, the combination of her bun and the hair stick make a Q shape. i reprised this in spirit for SV2 with the hair loop + ponytail also making a Q shape :-)

Ryo: his vision is "street fashion + modernized traditional japanese". for his SV1 i gave him a little half kimono thing, kinda samurai reminiscent... SV2 i gave him a haori instead (though i brought the kimono sleeves back for vibes) + hakama pants. also, his hair is based off kenshi yonezu, so i just picked another kenshi hairstyle for SV2 lol

Kevin: i felt bad for english voicebanks not having traditional fashion motifs to pull from like the japanese and chinese ones. i figured steampunk is the closest thing to immediately recognizable English Fashion Culture, so that's why the english voicebanks have steampunk elements. and thusly as the first English voicebank his vision was just "steampunk guy". i brought back the K-shaped neck thing from one of Kevin's earlier design iterations because it's sooooo good. and then i put the goggles on his head because they annoy me around his neck. that's basically all i have to say for him.

mo chen: his vision is "cute menswear + chinese fashion", or more succinctly "match qingsu" LOL. i couldnt really get him to matchsies super close w qingsu anymore though so i swapped out his wendy collar so he could have an elegant sweater vest over chinese collar moment. his hair is in a loop to match his sister but maybe it can look like the O from his logo if you want.

an xiao: his vision is "elevated high fashion suit". it was a very dramatic weird bodysuit moment for SV1 but SV2 looks a bit more like a normal high fashion suit LOL. also his tits gotta be out. also idk he gives me "suit + sneaker" vibes right? dont you agree? (holding a microphone up to you) hey

feng yi: she was the first one i earnestly designed with "VIMALION" in mind rather than just one-off designs, so i went a little bit too crazy with giving her motifs. i guess her vision theme is "han lolita-ish?" but she also had subthemes of clouds, ribbons, that weird criss-cross thing on her wrists... plus her main theme of ginkgo... anyways. i took the fluff under her skirt that served as a "cloud" vision and gave it to her as a fashionable little shawl for SV2. i swapped the zettai ryoukai of her arms and legs (thigh socks -> opera gloves, bare arms -> bare legs) just cuz?? i also made her colors closer to what they actually are LOL

weina: her vision is "phoenix goddess". i regretted giving her a bird theme when ling wan came out and was actually bird themed HAHA. but for SV2 i just did another angle on this vision, though maybe a little more elegantly this time... hers probably feels the most like a "level up". you can't tell in her key art but her cape is still wing shaped i promise.

----

okay i'll do the others in another part another time!! my arm hurts goodnight

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

10 L Lawliet headcannons (Several NSFW)

Just a few headcannons in no particular order. Lmk if there's any mistakes for me to fix! This deals with NSFW topics, and reader is AFAB + fem

He is unabashed when it comes to staring.  

Any conversation could turn into a staring contest with you body, which makes it particularly difficult if your relationship is supposed to be secret. Fortunately, he has a bit of a reputation for being creepy or unsettling, so to most of the people it just looks like he's being gross. Sitting? His eyes are on your thighs. Standing? He's entranced by the shape of your breasts. Walking in front of him? He's completely focused on the movements of your ass. It's not even perverted in nature, sometimes he just wants to commit a part of you to memory. It's all fun and games until someone tries to call him out on his behavior, and you have to quickly explain that it's ok, you're not bothered by it. You'll have to scold him later for being so careless. 

"I haven't seen you in this shirt before. It's a little...modest, don't you think?"

2. His hands are constantly cold.

His hands are so cold, you know it's him if he taps you on the shoulder or grabs your arm, because it feels absolutely frigid. You always joke that it's because all the blood is in his brain. That being said, he often warms himself by simply grabbing your breasts. Only when you're cuddling, of course, he'll be spooning you beneath the covers, his freezing hands holding your tits. You can't blame him, you admittedly do the same when your own hands are cold, but it makes it difficult to get comfortable sometimes. It does, however, add a little thrill to when he's carressing your thighs in preperation for the best head of your life, the chill of his hands sliding down your skin to sooth you.

"Stop it, you're hands are too cold, I'm trying to sleep!"

"You said you liked it last night. I don't see how now is any different."

3. He prefers missionary and cowgirl.

While L is capable of most any position, and he enjoys each well enough, missionary or cowgirl is the most practical, and he loves efficiency. It feels good, it's got a nice angle, and it's quick to get into. Other positions might feel better, but it only makes sense that his favorites are ones that check as many boxes as possible.

"Lay on your back, please."

"Didn't you say we were trying something new tonight?"

"I haven't the time. tomorrow."

4. Stress is his biggest motivator.

despite the title, it honestly depends on where you are in the relationship. At first, especially before your first time together, he's fairly dismissive. If he's stressed, and he feels the need to work until it's solved, you take a backseat. He hardly sees you, let alone touches you. Later, however, when he experiences the wonders of sexual relief, you're his go-to. He asks that you stay ready for him, because at any given moment he could have a few minutes to delegate to screwing you.

"I have approximately 6 minutes. I'd appreciate if you gave me a blowjob."

"Oh, really, would you?"

"I would."

5. He's very into foodplay.

Yes, yes, I know, headcannon about L being into foodplay, shocker. It's just too true not to include. If he has a very, very, very rare day off, it's spent indulging in one of his few true fantasies. Remember how I said that missionary and cowgirl are his favorites because it's practical? I lied. While not a position, drizzling strawberry sauce and squirting whipped cream all over your naked body, only to slowly, diligently lick it off would be his absolute, all time favorite thing to do to you.

"Today is christmas. Everyone's gone home, and I'm...listless."

"So then, you want to-"

"yes. Please. Lay on the table."

6. Petnames are practically nonexistent.

He's not a fan of petnames, he sees no use for them. Your name is your name, he knows it, you know it, and so that's what he'll call you. You might shower him in affectionate names, darling, sweetheart, baby, whatever it is, he doesn't care. He just...doesn't use them on you. Occasionally, very rarely, he might call you "my love," or "my dear," or something similar, if he's feeling particularly responsive. Something to note: if he ever calls you any petname, it starts with "my." You're not a darling, or a love, or a dear, your his. If you weren't, you wouldn't be here.

"Could you please do what you did to my shoulders last night?"

"The massage? Sure...wow, you're tense. You should relax more often."

"...Thank you, my love."

7. He keeps a data sheet of everything about you.

It's locked away on a private file of his computer. Yes, you know about it. Yes, he knows you know. Somehow, it's not creepy if he does it, it's just...L. It contains basics, your age, your eye color, your bloodtype. Allergies, if you have them, how intense they are. But it also has the things you'll never see. What he thinks of you in excruciating detail, a daily journal for the things you do and what he thinks of them, ideas of different things to do during sex when he has a little freetime, even a plan of what he'll get you for every possible gift-giving celebration. That's just what you've been able to glean from your interactions, there could be anything else on there. Hell, he could be tracking your cycle.

"I see...and this movie, it's your favorite?"

"I wouldn't say favorite, maybe...top three."

"Top three? I had assumed something similar..."

8. He watches when you sleep.

Especially after sex. He doesn't get the chance to lay with you afterward often, so if he can, he wants to be awake for the experience. He'll lay there, in the dark, watching your eyes move beneath your lids, your breath rise and fall, your heart beat beneath your skin. He's not adept to sleeping, its not something he does often, so he doesn't mind it at all. He also takes the opporitunity to muse about his work. He likes to talk about it, and when you're asleep he figures he can't bore you.

"Are you asleep?"

"..."

"You are, then. I've come to a few conclusions about the kira case that you may find enlightening. Primarily..."

9. He doesn't mind asking you invasive questions.

The only problem is he doesn't know when to ask, especially in public. If you're not supposed to be dating, it makes it even harder, because he'll randomly say things like, "I recall you had an appointment with your gynocologist. Was it a routine checkup, or...perhaps a pap smear?" Dear god, sometimes you want him to shut up. Still, it makes communicating easy. If he wants to know something, he'll ask, at your comfort or not.

"I've noticed you've been unusually short-tempered recently. Has something happened that I should know about?"

"...I've...had a tough week."

"Would you like to tell me about it? I can't promise to be helpful, but I do care about you."

10. He loves to kiss the most random parts of you.

you might be laying in bed, enjoying an evening, when he walks in tired out of his mind. He'll lay next to you, silently, before cuddling up to you. Only then will he ask about your day. He'll listen, but he asked primarily because the sound of your voice soothes him. While you chatter, he likes to kiss wherever his mouth can reach, gentle and chaste. Eventually, he takes your hands and kisses your wrists, then each knuckle on every finger. He might turn you over, just to kiss your forehead, then your cheeks, then your eyes. It's a nice feeling, to have his lips against your skin. it's comforting.

"I can barely focus on talking when you kiss me so much."

"Say whatever you like. I don't have a preference for what words you say, so long as you say them."

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 7

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

I'm sorry for anyone on my tag list who haven't been getting the notifications that I posted. I'm not sure what the problem is or why it's doing that. If anyone knows how to fix it please let me know.

Enjoy this chapter

Chapter 7

A storm rages outside, thunder booming, causing the house to shake each time. Y/n doesn’t have curtains in her room so every flash of lightning lights up the room causing the omega to toss and turn unable to sleep. 

With a huff she looks at the clock on the nightstand to see it’s about three in the morning when another loud clash of thunder shakes the house once again causing her to sit up, shaking a bit in fear. She wonders if anyone else is up because of the storm or if she’s the only one. 

The alphas told her if she ever needed anything at night to just go to their room and Felix said if she wants to cuddle but she feels silly going to one of them because of a storm. She’s not afraid necessarily but she just doesn’t like how the thunder shakes the house and the sound of rain that normally soothes people irritates her. 

With a sigh she gets up deciding that she’ll go downstairs and maybe watch tv in the living room or game room to keep her occupied and distracted. Walking past everyone else’s rooms as quietly as possible she makes it down stairs stopping in the kitchen first to grab a glass of water. After gulping down most of it, setting it down on the counter, thunder boomed causing her to jump and the kitchen light turned on. 

“What are you doing up?” Chan walks in having been the one to turn the light on after seeing her jump from the thunder. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” 

The alpha shakes his head no. “I’m a light sleeper, anyone walking past my room I hear. Are you okay?���

“Yeah.” Y/n leans against the counter. “Just  having trouble sleeping, I don't really like storms.” 

Thundering crashing causes her to tense up. 

“Why didn’t you come to one of us?” 

Y/n blushes feeling embarrassed. “I felt it was silly to need comfort just because of a storm”

“We get it, Felix doesn’t like storms either.” He tries to help her feel better. “Pretty sure I heard him go to Hyun’s room when the storm first started.” 

“Oh.” She now feels stupid for thinking it was silly.

“Baby girl, we’re here if you need anything, even if it’s something as small as needing to be with someone during a storm.” He moves to her and pulls her to him. “Why don’t we head to my room? You can sleep in my bed.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” Y/n protests. “I’ll be okay.”

“You’re a real stubborn omega.” Chan huffs, gently grabbing her around the waist, throwing her over his shoulder making her squeal a little and walks up stairs after turning the kitchen light back off. “You’re not getting a choice in this.” 

Y/n huffs accepting her fate letting him take her to his room, pulling the blankets back and placing her in the bed tucking her in. 

“I normally sleep without a shirt, is that okay?” He asks hovering over her. “If not I can sleep with it on tonight, I don’t mind.” 

“It’s okay.” The omega whispers. “I want you to be comfortable too.” 

He smiles down at her before taking his shirt off causing her to blush as she sees how muscular he is. She turns away as he climbs in the bed next to her getting situated. 

“Is this okay?” He checks in on her since she’s turned away. When she hums a yes he smirks before wrapping an arm around her and pulls her so her back is against his chest. “What about this?” 

“This is fine.” She mumbles, glad he can’t see her as she’s blushing so hard right now. 

“Good.” Chan hums snuggling her closer to him if that was even possible and kisses the top of her head. “Goodnight baby girl.”

“Goodnight Channie.” 

The next morning Y/n wakes up alone in Chan's bed with a headache. She heads downstairs to find anyone. 

“Where is everyone?” She asks Jisung as she walks in the kitchen.

“Chan and Changbin had to go into the office one last time this week. They normally don’t have to go in more than once a week but because of your dry heat starting tomorrow or the day after they decided to head up there to make sure everything is good since we don’t know how long it could last.” He starts to explain. “Minho had one of his advanced dance classes today as well as a one on one so he’ll be back in a little bit. Felix went with Hyunjin to teach his art class at the community center in town. Seungmin is around here somewhere and Jeongin is in the home gym.”

The omega nods but quickly regrets it as it makes her head hurt worse.

“Are you okay?” 

“Have a headache.” She whimpers, placing a hand against her temple. “Didn’t really sleep well last night because of the storm.”

“Oh, you don’t like storms either like Felix?” He hums in understanding and grabs her arm leading her to the living room. “Why don’t you lay down on the couch for a bit? I’ll get you a glass of water. I’m about to go take a walk around the property anyways so it’ll be quiet down here for a bit. I’ll tell Jeongin and Seungmin to keep it down too.” 

“Thanks Ji.” She smiles, laying down on the couch as he places a blanket over her. 

He brings her a big cup of ice water placing it on the coffee table as well as places the house phone with it. 

“If you need anything my cell is speed dial five. Jeongin’s is eight but he’s got music playing in the gym so he might not hear his phone ringing.”

She gives him a weak smile before he leaves through the back door making sure his ringer is turned up all the way in case she calls. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Seungmin sits in his room strumming his guitar, a little annoyed after Jisung had messaged him saying to keep it down because the stupid omega has a headache. He’s really getting irritated with her presence and doesn't understand how almost all of his other mates are accepting of her. He’s just glad he has Hyunjin on his side. 

Needing to get his anger and frustration out he decides to head out to the batting cages Chan had set up for him in the field in the back near the shed. But that all changes when he walks out of his room and smells a distressed scent and his beta starts telling him that his fated mate is in pain. 

He runs downstairs as quickly as possible, scared it might be Jeongin as he knows he’s been in the gym and remembers how Jisung once had to save Changbin when he was being crushed by weights. What he wasn’t expecting though was to find the omega in the living room, writhing in pain as she clutches her lower stomach, moaning and whimpering in pain. And he realizes it’s her his beta is telling him is in pain.

“Fuck, fuck.” Seungmin runs over realizing her dry heat has started sooner than the others had expected and now that the suppressants have worn off he can fully smell her and his beta is telling him that she is in fact his fated mate. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m here.” He shushes her while rubbing her beck, trying to put out calming pheromones but she’s in too much pain for it to help. “I’m going to move you to the den, okay?” 

He picks her up and realizes just how light she is as he carries her to the den and settles her into the nest. He grabs one of the heating pads Minho bought, placing it where she’s clutching. She’s sweating and is hurting and he doesn’t know what to do. 

He brushes her hair out of her face to see if she’d look at him but it’s as if she’s not aware of anything around her. 

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling his phone out and dials Chan's number. 

“Hey Minnie, miss us already?” The alpha tries to joke. 

“It’s Y/n.” Seungmin pants knowing he can hear the fear in his voice. “She started her dry heat. I don’t know what to do. She’s whimpering in pain and clutching her abdomen. I moved her to the den and gave her the heating pad but she’s sweating and doesn’t seem to be aware of anything right now.”

“Fuck.” Chan groans then says something to someone else in the background. “Alright, Changbin and I are leaving now, we’ll be home as soon as we can. Where’s Innie and Ji?”

“Umm, Ji went out on his daily calming walk and Innies in the gym, but I’m too afraid to leave her alone.” Seungmin is frantic as he looks around. “I don’t know how to help her hyung.” He whimpers. “I know now, I know she’s our fated mate and I’ve been such a dick.”

“Listen to me, Seungmin, she’s going to need you right now.” Chan speaks slowly. “She shouldn’t be alone, it can cause separation anxiety. I’ll call Innie so he can get done and shower and will take over for you if you want or will just come and help you. As well as Ji. For the meantime just lay with her in the nest, keep the heating pad on her. Try and keep your scent calm, you might need to scent her if you’re okay with doing that. If she seems to get too feverious call me back. I’ll call Felix, Hyunjin and Minho and tell them what’s going on so you don’t have to worry about it. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

“Okay Channie.” Seungmin takes a deep breath. “I’m really sorry for how I’ve been acting and treating her.”

“It’s okay Minnie. I know you were upset about all of this, it’s okay.” Chan reassures the beta. “Just be there for her now okay? She’ll forgive you for everything, I know she will.” 

“Thanks hyung.” He sighs. “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“See you soon baby.” 

Seungmin hangs up and tries to stay calm for the omega as he curls up behind her, wrapping an arm around her abdomen to hold the heating pad to her. His other hand plays with her hair as he tries to soothe her. He decided on singing to her hoping it’ll keep her calm. Her moans and whines of pain start to lessen as she relaxes against him a bit, her eyes stay closed though. 

“If you can hear me Y/n, tap my hand.” He whispers and she taps his hand lightly. “Good girl. I know you’re in a lot of pain right now but I’m right here. The hyungs and Innie will be here soon too. But I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” 

“How is she?” Jeongin steps into the doorway, still sweaty from working out. 

“In pain but she’s calmed down a bit now.” The beta explains.

The youngest nods in understanding, setting a glass of water down next to the nest before moving to the windows closing the curtains so the sun isn’t shining into the den. “Make sure to keep her hydrated. I’m gonna pull the curtains on the glass doors and close them, hopefully the lack of light will help with her headache as well as closing off the den will keep any loud noises from the others when they get back from disturbing her.”

“Good idea Innie.” 

“I’m gonna go shower. Jisung should be back soon.” The alpha watches them for a moment. “If you want we can take over for you when we’re back, or we can just join you guys.”

“I’ve been keeping a distance long enough.” Seungmin grunts. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Jeongin smiles at him. “Alright hyung, I’ll be back.” 

“You need to drink some water. Can you sit up for me?” Seungmin looks down at the omega who groans. “I know pup but you need to stay hydrated.”

He helps her sit up, leaning heavily against his chest, groaning and whimpering with every movement as he brings the cup to her lips helping her drink.

“Minho said she should take these. They should help with her headache and cramping. ” Jisung walks in with the two pill tablets and hands them to Seungmin to help her take them. “He’s having to go pick up Felix from the community center because Hyunjin is being an ass and won’t drive him back.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes but then reminds himself that he was acting the same way the last few days. But he tries not to think too heavily on that as he makes sure Y/n takes the tablets.

After he made sure she drank a good amount of water he settles her back down as Jisung refills the cup before crawling into the nest as well. 

“I’m here Y/nnie.”

“Ji.” She whimpers but cuddles closer to both betas and they both scent her to help ease everything.

“Move over.” Jeongin walks in. “Let me have her.”

The two betas don’t want to but know that the alpha must be going crazy internally having the need to protect her. They make room for him but stay as close as they can not willing to leave her at all. 

“Alpha.” Y/n whimpers.

“I’m here omega.” Jeongin coos petting her head. “I’m here, you're safe.”

The three of them stay like that with her for a while until Chan and Changbin get home, rushing into the den. They pause when they see the betas and alpha snuggled up to her. She’s still clutching a heating pad to her abdomen and her face scrunches up occasionally in pain but for the most part she seems okay. 

“Hi hyungs.” Jeongin whispers, giving them a small smile.

“Hi baby.” Chan smiles back. “You pups did really good taking care of your omega. I’m proud of you guys.” 

When Y/n whimpers again Chan walks over and kneels next to the nest placing a hand on her cheek.

“Hey baby girl.” He whispers, she leans into his hand and opens her eyes a little. 

“She doesn't seem to be as hazy as she was when I first found her.” Seungmin mentions seeing that she’s more aware now. 

“You guys being with her probably helped a lot.” Changbin explains watching the omega. 

“We made sure she drank water and everything but she hasn’t eaten yet.” Jisung speaks up. 

“Where is she?” Felix runs through the house and into the den, but gets stopped by Changbin real quickly.

“Calm down.” He holds the younger one in his arms. “You don’t want to overwhelm her with your emotions.” 

Felix pouts but nods as he takes a few deep breaths relaxing in the alphas arms.

“Alright, everyone out.” Minho walks in with the paper bag from the doctors as well as some of Y/n’s new comfy clothes.

“But…”

“Out.” Minho interrupts Felix’s protests. “I need to make sure she gets her medicine and I’m going to help her change, so everyone get out. You can cuddle with her after I’m done.”

Changbin picks up Felix to make the omega leave as Minho walks over and switches spots with the three in the nest to help take her weight and hold her up. 

“Where’s Hyunjin?” Chan asks, still kneeling next to the nest.

“Wouldn’t leave the community center.” Minho sighs. “I told him if he’s going to be an asshole then don't bother coming home.” 

“I’ll call him while you do this, try and talk some sense into him.” Chan rubs the bridge of his nose and stands up.

“Good luck with that, he yelled at Lix and made him cry.” 

Chan growls and pulls his phone out of his pocket.

“Where’s your head at, kitten?” Minho asks once everyone left the den. 

“It hurts, Min.” She whines as he lifts her shirt up over her head. 

“I know baby, but let me do this real quick then you can snuggle with Felix.” He starts to rub the cream on her side then moves to her arm.

He makes her take her antibiotic then slips her new shirt on her before helping her change from sweatpants to sleep shorts. He lays her down, placing the heating pad back on her abdomen.

“Alpha.” She whines and he moves closer to her.

“I’m right here kitten, I’m not going anywhere.” He scents her, keeping her close for a moment enjoying the time alone with her. “Alright, she’s good.” 

Minho knew that Changbin and Felix were standing right outside the door and would hear him and laughs a little when Felix bolts in and crawls into the nest as quickly as possible while still being gentle and snuggles up to the younger omega. 

“Channie hyungs making her a snack while he yells at Hyunjin on the phone.” Felix tells the alpha still upset at the oldest beta for refusing to take him home and yelling at him.

“Are you okay baby.” Changbin asks Felix, joining them in the nest. 

“I am now that I’m here.” He whispers curled up with Y/n. 

The two alphas smile down at their omegas as they hope Y/n’s dry heat goes by quickly.

Tag list: @pixie0627 @sinfulfic @estella-novella @mbioooo0000 @ms-flowergirl @blindspot143 @ihrtlix @arishoriasims @fic-for-readers @motheraiya55 @hwangrfrnd @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @juskz @borahae-reads @dreamerwasfound @galaxy4489 @kayleefriedchicken @lostgirlinthewoodss @catkight#stray

[ohisms]

↪ 𝑽𝑨𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮 . ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2004 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . mature themes present . )

oh , [ name ] . it's just you .

where are you going to run , [ name ] ?

what are you saying ?

why do you think i brought you here ?

you said you believed in my work .

i would kill myself before helping in such a task .

you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .

you can't kill me , [ name ] .

so , you're the great [ name ] .

we all have our little problems .

let's make it your decision , shall we ?

i wish you a week in hell .

why don't you do something about it ?

this is all a test of faith .

i can curse all i want , dammit .

you . turn around .

strangers don't last long here .

the laws of men mean little to me .

i don't need your help .

you stay here . they're trying to kill me .

nice to see you too , [ name ] .

did i do something to you in a past life ?

i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .

your reputation precedes you .

i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .

please , say you will not try again .

do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .

i was unprepared . it won't happen again .

do you understand forgiveness ?

i would rather die than help you .

don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .

may he rest in peace .

how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?

you don't remember , do you ?

what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?

it's no surprise you would know all about me .

we have such history , you and i .

have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?

[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .

what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?

no one knows how to kill [ name ] .

i could have used that information earlier .

would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?

allow me to ... reintroduce myself .

i think we've overstayed our welcome .

don't give me that look .

you were right . i'm sorry .

monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !

look , there's still time .

you were right . i'm sorry .

do you have any family , [ name ] ?

if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .

evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .

now you know why they call me a murderer .

oh my god ... you've been bitten .

so much trouble ... so much trouble .

now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .

don't worry , god will forgive us .

how many commandments can we break in one day ?

oh my god , you should be terrified .

how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?

neither of us has ever settled for half .

you make my skin crawl .

i'm not gonna like this , am i ?

one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .

you have no heartbeat .

you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .

well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .

we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .

you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .

god is not the only one that can create life .

you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !

you're supposed to die .

we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .

you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .

if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .

all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .

some things are better left forgotten .

[organic-bloodbath]

Mingle - Part 2

Thanos x Reader

Summary: Thanos wants to protect you at all cost and has to choose whether to continue the game or take you back home. Getting to know you better, the answer is simple.

A/N: More angsty than the first part and doesn't follow the show's plot anymore. Thank you so much for all the likes on the first part, i didn't imagine it getting so many notes 🫶🏻 I wasn't sure which way to take this story, but he's 100% obsessed and in love with her.

Part 1

☆☆☆

You were holding your tray, about to go to your usual spot to eat with your team and following Dae-ho in front of you but you stopped. You looked over Thanos, seeing him by himself.

"I'll see you later," you said to Dae-ho who looked confused. "I'll go sit with Thanos tonight."

"Thanos?" Dae-ho repeated, making sure he heard you correctly. "Why would you-"

You turned around and left, not wanting to answer to any other questions Dae-ho would ask you about your sudden interest to spend time with Thanos. Mostly, because you didn't know what to say.

Why? Because he just saved you a moment ago? You weren't sure if that was the only reason or not, you had to go over to him and figure it out yourself.

When you arrived to the bunk where Thanos was sitting and already eating his food, his eyes lit up.

"Is the invite still open?" you asked awkwardly, afraid that he had been only joking earlier about asking you to join him.

"For you, of course," he said, smiling, and pat the empty space next to him on the mattress. "I saved a seat for you."

You gave him a little smile and sat on that specific spot.

"For a second i thought you had changed your mind," he said, chewing his food.

"Oh, well, i wasn't sure if you truly meant it," you admitted, avoiding his eyes at first. "But then i saw you sitting alone. Why aren't you with your friends anyway?"

"I figured you'd just get uncomfortable with them," he shrugged. "And i wanted to be alone with you, even if just for a moment."

You felt your cheeks turning red. "Why?"

He gently put his hand on your chin and turned your head to look at him.

"I want go get to know you better, pretty flower," he smiled, making you turn even more red and you immediately turned your head away, the nickname making you feel funny inside once again.

"Oh," was the only sound you managed to breathe out.

"You know, from the day one i've tried to approach you but you've been ignoring me quite well," he pointed out. "You could add it on your resume as one of your skills."

"Oh, i mean," you said nervously. "I'm not used to guys trying to get close to me before, so i really didn't think much of it."

"Not used to it?" Thanos asked, acting dramatic and overly shocked, putting his hand against his chest and not believing what he was hearing. "You're that gorgeous and guys haven't gone after you? You're lying."

"Stop it," you chuckled and the smile lingered on your lips longer than before. "Maybe i just can't take a hint very easily."

"Well, tell me something about you?" Thanos asked and thought about something for a while. "Hmm, what's your favorite type of flower?"

"Flower?"

"It's for our future date, i need to make sure i'll get you something you like," he explained. "I don't want to get you roses if you don't like roses."

"Oh, well, i don't really know. Nobody ever got me flowers before," you said, the blush sticking on your cheeks like a glue. "I suppose orchids and lilies are pretty."

"I'll keep that in mind," he nodded.

His words made you feel nice and get butterflies in your stomach, but you really didn't understand what his intentions truly were. You hadn't had many guys to show interest on you before, if any, so you had been used to the fact that you might just stay alone.

You continued your conversation and lost the track of time completely. You asked about his life as a rapper and what his life goals were in the music industry, since that was really the only thing you knew about him outside these games before now talking with him. He asked about your hobbies and in general about your interests - you could sense that he was considering to include some of them to your "date" he had mentioned.

Eventually he changed the subject to the one that you would have prefered to leave alone. The one you hadn't truthfully told even to Dae-ho or Gi-hun yet.

"So, how did you end up here?" Thanos asked. "You know, debts and all."

"Well, i wouldn't want to bother you with that. It's pretty depressing," you said after being quiet for a moment, twirling the rest of your food with your fork. You were a little nervous to open up to him about it now that you were having a nice conversation, him making you even laugh here and there. But for some reason, you had started to become more comfortable around him and able to talk more freely.

"I'd be glad to hear it, if you want to share," Thanos said, encouraging you to tell him, but only if you were comfortable with it.

"Oh, well," you sighed. "The main reason i came here was because my little brother has cancer." You took a deep breath to get the words properly out of your mouth. It was already hard to think about and even harder to talk about it without crying. You tried to say the words as fast as you could, otherwise they would be stuck in your throat. "We don't have money for his treatments, my mom doesn't earn a lot from her work, and if we don't start treating it soon, he will die."

You were looking at your lap, scared to glance back at Thanos. You were feeling your eyes becoming wet and you were afraid you'd start to cry in front of him. He was quiet for a while, speechless. He hadn't been prepared for you having such a heavy reason to be here.

"How old is your brother?" Thanos asked softly.

"He's just 11," you answered and felt tears rising up into your eyes. You hated talking about this because even a single thought of losing your brother broke you. You wiped a tear off your face as soon as it had appeared out of your eye.

"I'm sorry," you chuckled, trying to force yourself to lighten up. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."

"No, no you didn't ruin anything, it's okay," he assured you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry i made you bring it up."

You buried your face on his shoulder.

"I just want to get back home, i don't care how much money i'll get and if it's enough to cover everything," you mumbled. "I just have to go and take care of my brother."

You stayed like that for a while, Thanos comforting you the best he could. Now, the need to protect you at any cost grew even stronger.

☆☆☆

It was time to vote, whether you'd want to stay and play the games or go home with the money earned by far.

Thanos was having mixed feelings. Personally, he would have of course continued the game and played for more money - the current amount wasn't enough to cover all his debts. One more game, that was what had been going on in Thanos' head.

One more game.

But when he turned to look at you, standing further away from him with your group, your gaze stuck on the floor, looking anxious - he felt something sting and break his heart.

Every day here was a new possibility to die. None of you knew what tomorrow's game was, it was always a total surprise until you started playing it.

What if the game tomorrow would be too hard for you and you wouldn't make it? Thanos couldn't live with himself anymore if he had decided to continue the game and survived, but you lost your life, as would your brother.

Player 230.

Thanos stood in front of the two buttons, gaze jumping between them. Before getting to know you, his choice would have been simple. But now?

"Player 230," the pink guard in front of Thanos said, he hadn't realised how long he had been standing there doing nothing. "Please make your choice."

Eventually, against all the odds, Thanos pressed the red button, giving one more point to the X team. He glanced towards Nam-gyu who looked at Thanos like he couldn't believe his eyes what he was seeing. Thanos ignored him and walked to the red side, appearing next to you.

"Told you i'll get you home, pretty flower," Thanos whispered to you.

You looked at him like you were sure you were seeing things. Being here had finally made you to hallucinate. Surely he hadn't chosen to go home only because of you, he couldn't be that attached to you already.

"But you still needed a lot more money," you pointed out, furrowing your eyebrows. You would have understood if he wanted to and chose to stay. You weren't a burden he had to bear.

"And i'll find a way to pay my debts on my own," Thanos answered.

The waiting felt like it took forever. There weren't that many players left anymore, but it felt like everything was happening twice slower than in reality.

Finally, after the last player had voted, you looked at the scores and you felt like your entire world was slowing down even more and you weren't able to get air into your lungs.

The situation was 50-51. The 'O' team won yet again. You wanted to break down and cry, right then and there. When you had seen Thanos approaching you with the red patch on his jacket, somehow you were sure that this time you were going home, as if the decision was depending purely on him.

If just two more people would have voted for X, you'd be on your way home. But no, you had to stay for another game.

"I'm sorry," Thanos said and held your hand, looking genuinely concerned. "I really am."

"It's fine," was all you said until you walked back to your bunk without sparing a single glance at anyone else.

☆☆☆

Laying on your bed on your side you weren't able to sleep. You only stared ahead of you, feeling hopeless. You wanted out of this place so badly and the voting tonight had given you way too much false hope that this could actually be over soon, just to be completely crushed.

You sat up and wiped the tears off your face, trying to calm yourself so you'd be able to sleep atleast a little bit.

You were thinking about your little brother. He deserved so much more, had his entire life ahead of him. If you were able to take his cancer to you, you would take it any day and let him live. What if he had passed away during your stay here? What if you'd go back home and meet only your mother who had been crying for days and refused to eat, sleep or do anything?

You had to bite your lip to keep the sobs inside you, afraid you'd wake up the people sleeping near you.

"Can't sleep huh?" Thanos whispered, you didn't look at him. You had seen him approaching from the corner of your eye, even though you hadn't fully turned to look at him. "Listen," he continued and took your hand in his. "I'm going to make sure you'll get out of here, okay?"

"And how are you going to do that?" you scoffed, accidentally letting out a single sob. "You don't even know the next game."

He sat down on the bed with you and took your hand in his. He didn't know how he could comfort you.

"I don't, but i'll do whatever i can to get you home," he said and tried to give you a comforting smile. "I'll protect you, no matter what, and when the votings come, i'm absolutely sure that we'll get to leave this place."

"What are you going to do? Cheat the system?"

"If i have to," he smirked. He hesitated for a second until lifted his hand to wipe the remaining tears off your cheek.

☆☆☆

It was time for the next game. You arrived into a room which had four shapes on one of the walls.

The same symbols as in playing cards.

♤♡◇♧

The game was called Dalgona. It was exactly the same game Gi-hun had talked to you about in the beginning when he had thought Dalgona must be the second game like three years ago. Only the shapes had now changed.

The reason why they had suddenly brought dalgona back to this year was unclear to you. Unclear to everybody. By now everyone had thought that only the first game was the same and they had changed the rest of them to new ones.

Players were commanded to line up in front of one of the shapes, chosen by their own will. Gi-hun immediately told you to choose the diamond, it would be the easiest one.

Thanos let you go for the diamond, but he chose the heart, even though you insisted that he'd take the diamond too.

"Come on, it's not that much harder, i'll be fine," he assured you with a smile, as if it wasn't a big deal.

If you were going to die just because you accidentally cracked a wrong piece of a cookie off, that would be super embarrassing to explain in a funeral. Although, dying here you wouldn't even get a funeral.

You sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and the time started running down, one second at a time. You took the needle in your shaky hands and carefully started carving the lines of the shape, afraid to press too hard and crack the cookie in half any minute.

One thing you were afraid as well was when someone would be shot, your hand would accidentally slip due to the loud noise and make you fail too.

Thanos took quick glances at you once in a while, to make sure you were still sitting there. His hands were sweating and his heart beating fast.

The only sounds during the game were only the gunshots and the voice announcing which players had just been eliminated. You flinched each time, even though you had tried to prepare yourself for that.

This wasn't a game where Thanos would be able to help you and he hated it. On the first game, he had protected you by running in front of you. On the second game, you had other players in your group to help you. On the third game, he had saved you by taking you to a room with him when you had been left all alone.

Now, you were all on your own, he wasn't able to say a single word for you, you all had to stay quiet and only concentrate on your own task. He didn't think you were weak, not at all, he just needed to be there as a backup plan, ready to catch and save you if something went wrong.

Thanos was afraid he'd crack the cookie any second. If he was to die now, there would be one person less to vote for X and get you back home, though he couldn't know how many people from the blue side would be killed today.

He wasn't sure when had been the moment when he had decided that protecting you had become his number one priority. It just naturally came to him.

On the distance, Thanos saw one player to use a lighter to heat up the needle and then poke the cookie. By the looks of her face, she was subtly looking around her to see if the guards were watching her. He only had the pills inside his cross and they weren't much of a help for him right now.

Thanos was glad that you had chosen the easiest shape and not spades or clubs. He did believe in you and was sure to see you alive on the other side.

His heart stopped when he cracked a small piece off from the tip of the heart when he had completed the task. It was only a very tiny piece and the cookie still looked like a complete heart, but he didn't know how detailed and harsh the system was here. Thanos saw a guard approaching him and showed the heart to him, hiding the slightly broken tip with his finger as he held it up.

Pass.

Thanos let out a breath of relief, being able to breathe again properly. He didn't know why, but that was one of the most stressful games by far.

You were still carving yours as Thanos walked outside, but you weren't far behind. Just barely 20 seconds later, you had finished your task as well.

Pass.

☆☆☆

"Señorita, excuse me," Thanos said, making you stop before you managed to go and talk to Dae-ho, who had finished the challenge before you. Thanos was standing closer than you had expected, though he had seen you first.

"Yes, señor?" you said back sarcastically.

"I have a gift for you," he smiled.

"A gift?"

"I'll give you my heart if you'll let me have yours, after this is all over," he said, genuine kindness in his eyes.

"What are you on about?" That was such a cheesy and odd line to say out of nowhere, but it did make your heart skip a beat.

"When we get home tomorrow, i'll take you out soon, after you've seen your brother."

"How are you so sure we'll get home? People might vote to stay."

"Have a little bit hope, pretty flower."

He took your hand in his, you didn't resist.

"Keep this safe for me, okay?" he said and put something in your hand, closing your fist around it. Then, he left without another word.

You opened your hand, seeing the heart he had carved out from the cookie laying on your palm.

☆☆☆

The fourth game had eliminated only 29 players in total, so there was 72 left.

Thanos tried to count the players how many of them had blue patches and red patches on their jackets, but he lost count and wasn't sure if he had counted some people twice or not at all.

Thanos went to the bathroom where he found his former group.

"Well, well, well, look who it is," Nam-gyu slowly said and crossed his arms on his chest. He had three other guys around him, one of them Min-su. "Coming back to us after betraying us like that? I think not."

He stepped closer to Thanos.

"Sorry to say, but i don't think you're welcome anymore."

"I don't give a shit about you, Nam-su," Thanos said and didn't care to hear him trying to correct Thanos for saying his name wrong again. "Tonight, you better all vote for X or tomorrow i may not be in as good mood as right now, seeing you," Thanos said loudly and then glanced at Min-su, who still had the blue patch on his jacket. Thanos walked towards him and trapped him between himself and a wall. Thanos tried to change the expression on his face to more kind and sweet. "You'll do that for me, right Min-su?"

Thanos gave him a sweet smile, but Min-su hesitated without a word, both Nam-gyu and Thanos looking at him. Min-su wasn't entirely sure which side was safer for him to choose.

"What's up with you anyway? Don't tell me that woman has gotten into your head this badly. I'm not going home yet when there's more money to be earned."

"You can earn your money elsewhere," Thanos stated, gritting his teeth.

"Seriously, dude. I get that she's hot but-"

"One more word and you'll lose a tooth," Thanos threatened, pointing at him with his finger.

To be honest, Thanos wasn't sure how he had fallen so hard for you in such a little time. He had never been so smitten about a woman before, but there was something different about you, and he needed to know you better, no matter what he had to do to achieve it.

☆☆☆

The votings came and this time, it was easier for him to press X than last time. The money he had earned by far wasn't enough for his debts, but he'd figure it out how to get the rest when you had managed to get out of here.

Both of you had now voted and were only waiting for the result. Thanos glanced at you and you looked like you were going to be sick. He took your hand in his, making you jump a little bit for the sudden touch, but you let your fingers wrap between his. He gave you a comforting squeeze.

Internally, Thanos felt terrified. What if he had only given you false promises and you'd have to stay for the fifth game again? You were so broken yesterday that he didn't think he'd be able to see the same look on your face again this fast. You would definitely lose any trust you still might have for his words, not believe anything he would say to you anymore.

You hid your eyes with your left hand, not wanting to watch how the scores were changing and how much X was losing to O.

Then, all the votes were in and for a moment Thanos' heart stopped by looking at the score.

37-35.

"Y/N," Thanos whispered, finally using your real name and not only the nickname he had chosen, and brushed your left hand as a sign to let it drop from your face. "You can look now."

When you saw the scores on the broad, your knees felt so weak that you had to cling on Thanos' jacket not to fall on the floor. He wrapped his arm around your waist, and you broke down in tears.

"Oh my god," you laughed between the tears. "Thanos. Oh my god."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, startling Thanos at first how you pressed your body against his, but he wrapped his arms around you securely. Surprisingly, a hint of red was rising on his cheeks, along with a smile.

"I can go back home," you said against his jacket.

You pulled back and without thinking, you pressed a light kiss on Thanos' cheek.

"Thank you."

"So," Thanos lingered and took your hands in his. "I'll pick you up on Saturday?"

You bit your lip. "Okay."

☆☆☆

A/N: I'm not sure what i think about this compared to the first part, but i hope you liked it 🫶🏻

Tags:

@justsisse

@septywitch

[midnite-c6]

friends with benefits!patrick zweig x bestfriend!reader || 18+ warnings: smut, p in v, innocent!reader, cunnilingus, unestablished friends with benefits, fem!reader, slight dubcon outside sex, fucking on a backless bench, degradation

a/n: i wrote this during my free time :) what's not to love about canonically big-dicked men??? this fic is giving casual by chappell roan

⁠*⁠.⁠✧ "we're just-- really good friends." a phrase patrick zweig, a man you think is the greatest tennis player in the universe, would never get tired saying to every new person you two meet, or to every date he's been in where he has to casually bring you up. that he has proven to himself that fucking you is a really good way to strengthen a friendship.

he's already potrayed as being overly close to his friends, hell, art donaldson is a really good example. being his best friend and tennis doubles partner. you can never know if he ever is actually in love with who he dates or who he fucks.

but there you are, his other bestfriend, though you'd like to think art's the "other" one, it's only fair since you've known patrick the longest. knowing him ever since you two were toddlers, barely able to walk. you weren't crazily rich- you had more than enough, unlike the zweig family, with a house acting as a castle, their own huge court in their backyard (just for his love for tennis), a swimming pool, and whatever rich people could buy at that time. you'd sometimes pray how you're happy your parents met his parents, or else he'll probably just ignore you like any other below-higher-class citizen.

but he wasn't like that. he didn't like showing off. he treated his wealth like a bonus, he wasn't your average spoiled kid who'd be social-climbing to the top with other tennis friends, no,

he spends his time with you.

_つ⁠｡⁠☆∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°

you and patrick would always hang out inside his backyard, where he would teach you how to play tennis, how to predict where the ball would land, and the basics of knowing how to hold a racket correctly,

"i don't know how to play it... it seems really hard." you say as you hold the racket with both your hands, "you just have to hit a ball with a racket, dummy.." he sighed. "then... can you teach me?" he sighs again! "you'll just be a pain in the ass!"

"i'm willing to learn." you say, hoping it'd be a convincing line to make him teach you.

with him doing the extra work to go behind you as he holds your arm and moves it to the correct position. because of him you were actually pretty good- not better than him, but good nonetheless. he shows his "love" by inviting you to play tennis, first to win two games. him winning the first round and continue to be his usual confidently-annoying self, then he'd intentionally lose the second round, then the third, just so that your wins would feel much better when you'd laugh at him just a bit louder because he "jinxed" himself.

it started when he comes back home during the summer from his boarding school. when the two of you were sixteen, both of you sitting on-top of your small twin bed around midnight.

he'd tell you all the things he'd learn while he was in boarding school, "this one girl really enjoyed it when i shoved my tongue down her throat." he'd boast, shamelessly even, "really? i feel like kissing with tongue is prolly reaaally icky and messy." you share. "pfft. have you tried it?" "no? to be fair-- i haven't made out with anyone yet." you shrugged, where he would lean just a little closer to your face, eyes half-lidded to ask, "you willing to learn?" his hot breath already fanning over you lips.

who are you to decline a free lesson? "close your eyes, and feel it, okay?" his hand was effectively gripping your chin so it won't move much, he starts slow; pressing a tentative, testing kiss against your own. then lengthens it, you'd only squirm by being this close to your supposed, "best friend". he presses his lower thumb on your bottom lip as he slides his tongue past your lips. "quit whinin'..." he complains at your helpless squirms against his tongue. a hand moves up to the back of your head, his fingers gently wrapping around the roots of your hair. he pulls your head back slightly, tilting it to the side to further deepen it.

the two of you would pull away, both out of breath, connected by the infamous string of saliva. he'd try and taste it whilst looking at you right in the eye. the sound of him slurping up the string of saliva during the dead of night was dizzying. you'd almost faint. it felt wrong. to kiss him like that. but you never questioned what you were after that, he didn't mention you'd be his girlfriend anyway. "you did good. that means i'm a good teacher, right?" you can only nod, you barely heard him over the sound of your heart beating uncontrollably fast. . .

～⁠つ⁠｡⁠☆.

now he teaches you a plethora of things about sex! the next thing he knows alot about besides tennis.

you wonder, as the two of you sit in silence on a nearby backless-bench of his daddy's private court whilst staring at the sky,

"can't believe i'm going to college." he could only scoff in response. "college is stupid." you scoff back, "college is necessary." "it's still stupid." ugh. "not going to college is stupid." you tut.

"are you saying i'm stupid?" the words leaving both your mouths like they were itching for a fight. "i dunno? am i saying that?" a mocky tone that's just enough to set him off.

you've made out a bunch of times ever since the two of you found the free will to kiss without any commitment, and this was one of those times. he shoves, slams, his mouth against yours, forcefully making his tongue inside your mouth, it had no love, no care, just an average make-out session. though this time he'd move past your lips and to your neck instead. "patrick." you almost whine his name.. he bites on the clean bundle of skin on your neck, hard, as a condescending response, "fuck- patrick, stop, we aren't supposed to-"

"who says we aren't supposed to?" he gives you that signature grin he had, with his teeth showing, before he goes on his knees against the rough ground, now kissing your thighs. "you're still learning, you ain't gonna survive a college being a fucking virgin." you gasp, because of his lips, and his words, "i'm being serious, i'd be a bad friend not to educate you." looking up at you with those bright blue eyes, yet seemed dark by the way it's filled with so much lust.

his kisses would trail up to your stomach, then your chest, shamelessly kissing you through the fabric of your sports bra, it shouldn't feel good, but it did, he was the one doing it, so of course it did. he kisses your chest whilst pulling your shorts down and your panties with it. he looks down at the sight, chuckling to himself. "of course you're wet." the sun hitting your skin just right that he could see that pretty... blushing cunt. can't he be normal, for once? "shut the fuck up, damn." "if it makes you feel better, then i won't." sending a condescending laugh on your way. diving in to give your folds a kitten lick, you moan in surprise, you could feel him chuckle against your pussy.

he eats you out like he's been waiting for this meal ever since he's been alive. he eats you out like he's making out with it, just like he made out with you for the first time-- hungry, greedy. right now he's doing everything he can to make you cum, on the wooden bench, just because of his tongue.

his lips would move to your hole, shoving his tongue inside it to make you choke, just as he did when he shoves it inside your throat.

and for the first time in your life, you climax, by your first friend, by your best friend, and it felt so fucking good you could cry. he doesn't give a smartass comment, he lets you take in the moment, standing up to remove his own shorts, as he carries you against his body, holding you with both his arms as you wrap your arms around his neck for support. "ah .. i need you, right now .." he whines, before a sudden thrust! "to take my dick." "pat' fuck!" not sweet or caring, just straight on to it. dick first. deep inside you. his hands move to your hips. "shit-, tight. just what i- i thought." he prettily whines against your ear, warm breath tickling your skin. "m'dizzy- don't m-move!." "but- i'll die." he always gets his way anyway, manhandling your hips to ram it against his dick.

he moves, atleast he tries to, he's drowning of the pleasure of your tight pussy. of course you'd be crying, moaning his name out so boldly "yes, fuck, moan my name, don't care if anyone decides to visit the court right now, yeah?" you'd basically forgotten the two of you are outside. "fuuuuck, you're the first person i ever imagined wanting to have sex with." he confessed, now rutting sloppily against you, forgetting to form a good pace, he just wants to bury his dick inside you, just like the two teenagers you are. moaning and whimpering into each others ears, not caring about who walks in on what. "hope someone sees i'm friends with a fucking slut." let's just say you both were covered in cum when the two of you decided to be finished!

｡⁠◕～⁠つ⁠｡⁠☆

in the end, he introduces you two as good friends. and you agree, no doubt.

"yeah, we've been friends since we were little." close ones. and he's glad that you accept that, but he'd give all his money to say to the world that you're the best cunt he's ever had and the only cunt he's only ever loved.

⁠ˆつ⁠｡⁠☆🎾

gbf final boss 💔 to anyone who sees this pls sebd me challengers reqs, also patrick has such a big heart BELIEVE ME

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 51!

almost the last fic rec list of the year, can you believe it? like last week, i haven't cross-referenced this list with previous ones, so apologies for any potential double recs!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

before the night fades | MilenaDaniels/@milenadaniels| 8.6k | T

EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night. this fic is one of my favourite outsider povs ever! it does such a wonderful job of capturing our 911 characters as well as fleshing out a lovely cast of ocs <3

chicken alfredo | EiraLloyd/@unlifeira | 4.6k | T

when Helena laughs at the idea that her son is now able to cook well, Buck ropes Eddie into proving her otherwise. this captures the buddie dynamic so so well <3 also made me hungry lol

do you want me (or do you want me dead) | carpediaz/@sofa-king-lame | 2.3k | T

The one where Buck finds out Eddie wears reading glasses and loses his fucking mind over them, and Eddie knows exactly what he's doing. eddie in reading glasses is a VISION holy shit buck is so relatable in this. i love the silly fun!!

emails i can't send | heartbeatdiaz/@lonelychicago | 6k | T

buck should've known better than to let his email account open and then give his computer to a toddler to play with. i love love love the formatting of this one, with the emails and everything <3 so so good!! they're just french angelfish <3

i took a little journey to the unknown | 42hrb/@exhuastedpigeon | 4.3k | T

“I-it’s okay, you don’t have to talk,” Buck says and the comforting warmth is back on Eddie’s hand. The only thought that rings clearly through his head is that Buck’s hand is safe. Buck is going to keep him safe. “Just - can you squeeze my hand if you’re awake?” this is just such a lovely fic. i love the character study elements and the hand holding and just <3

in the dark (with the stars) | tawaifeddiediaz/@aashiqeddiediaz | 13k | M

Eddie’s relationship with food, anxiety and cooking, as told through the past and present. eddie's relationship with food in both canon and fanon is absolutely fascinating to me. i loved this take on it so much <3

last first kiss | songbvrd/@songbvrd | 3.4k | GA

Buck tries to say goodbye. Eddie isn't ready. frankly i think the best promo i can give this fic is exactly what i said in my comment here, which is "tim minear better be taking notes" because wow it's just that good <3

lucky boy | serenelystrange/@serenelystrange | 1.9k | T

In which Buck and Eddie are so bad at being in a secret relationship, but instead of show-typical angst, fluff! secret relationship buddie, the gift that keeps on giving <3 exactly the fic i needed on a cold early bus ride this week!!

platonic co-parents don't kiss like we do | thelikesofus/@thelikesofus | 7.1k | M

5 times other people see Buck and Eddie kiss + 1 time they really mean it. i love love love all these different types of kisses <3 the loveliest buddie fic from the perspective of the firefam!!

take what the water gave me | Daisies_and_Briars/@cal-daisies-and-briars | 20.7k | M

New transfer to the 118, Eddie Diaz, has a secret. And upon getting to know his coworker, Buck, who is also hiding something, he begins to suspect their secret is the same. He's wrong. i've been devouring every little snippet of this fic i've seen on tumblr and i was so so excited to see the full thing land in my inbox! and wow did it not disappoint. such great worldbuilding and such a fantastic characterisation of eddie <3

the bunkroom fic | exvichan | 11.5k | T

The Station 118 bunkroom has witnessed a lot over the years. Private conversations, spats, occasions of affection, joy, and anguish. It’s seen pranks, and games, and camaraderie. It’s even been privy to an unfolding love story or two. It holds the memory of each of these moments. the 118 bunkroom my beloved <3 i love these little moments so much, especially the conversations between the firefam!!

the wayward son | brewrosemilk/@gayhoediaz | 56.9k | E

Eddie misses his son, grows a mustache, pines after his best friend, and becomes a regular at a gay sex club. That last part is either an indulgence or an inevitable, somewhat self-destructive conclusion to several decades worth of compulsory heterosexuality and catholic guilt. Don’t ask him which. i can't even capture the vibe of this fic in just a few lines but holy shit is it brilliant. the most incredibly writing, great characterisation, and also just very hot stuff. an immediate bookmark and new favourite!

[juststandingthere]

ISTG this game is making me insane, brainrot strong enough for me to make my first analysis post

One thing i love about the narrative is how distorted the characters, relationships and events are from jimmy's pov. Most posts discussing this focus on Anya, and it makes sense bc she's probably the biggest victim of this. She's seen as less than a person, she's an incompetent nurse, she has a meek personality, she'll let anyone(jimmy) step over her and she still follows his orders, despite everything he has done to her. We obviously see, from curly's pov, that she's simply too terrified of her abuser to act any other way, and when she's not with him she's way more confident and competent.

I haven't seen as many people talking about how this "distortion" affects Swansea and Daisuke as well, including the relationship they have with each other.

We see, in the first Curly section, that Swansea is a great mentor to Daisuke (one might even say they have a father-son/uncle-nephew relationship). He takes his time to teach him not just the basics, but also how to do his job as safely as possible. He lets him take notes, he himself writes stuff down for him to remember and even lets him doodle on those notes! Sure he is harsh with him, but he clearly cares about him and wants him to be safe.

And in return Daisuke looks up to him and has great respect for him, as both a mechanic and a man, while he also makes some jokingly offensive comments towards the older man, showing the close bond they have formed.

But that's not what we see when we play as Jimmy.

In his pov we don't see them interacting much, when they do we either see Swansea insulting Daisuke for no apparent reason or, in one occasion, we see him leading the kid down a "bad path" wanting to teach him how to "drink like a man".

When they aren't interacting tho, we do see hints of their actual relationship: Swansea asking where the kid is when he is "partying" in the lounge, confirming that he does not, in fact, hate spending time with him; him looking desperately for something, *anything*, that could help Daisuke with his suffering after he's injured; how whenever Jimmy tries to bring up to Daisuke how "badly" Swansea treats him, or how he "lied" to them about the utility room, Daisuke immediately shuts him down, because he knows what he's saying is completely wrong (i'm pretty sure those are the only times he doubts something Jimmy says), showing once again the trust and respect he has for his mentor.

(this part is kinda speculative but i think it makes sense)

There are two other times where we see them interacting, where we actually see how much Swansea cares for the kid, and coincidentally, neither of them is seen through Jimmy's eyes, but from a third person pov: what Swansea says right before they knock him out with the drink, about how he resents the people that let Daisuke, someone with his whole life ahead of him, with so much optimism and joy, board the ship for a job that would inevitably leave him "mangled" and "smarter in a worse way" (i could make a whole other essay on this part but i won't), and what he says right before mercy killing him. In that scene specifically, as the camera pans out in the corridor as Swansea raises his axe, ready to take the final swing, Jimmy doesn't see the hesitation in his body language, the way his body tenses, the way he comforts the kid, telling him to close his eyes, the heavy breaths (crying?maybe?) right after the act. He only sees the older man as a monster that would take away an innocent life that jimmy would have been able to fix had he been given the time to fucking think.

Hell, now that i think about it, Swansea's final monologue, where we find out that he is in fact a good man who tried his best to better himself, who simply wanted to protect the kid and give him "a chance off this goddamn rock"(implying that the Cryopod was meant for Daisuke all along) is also shown in third person!

A few other things i found interesting:

1-The missing pieces between what happened to Daisuke in the vent and when Swansea started attacking Jimmy. There's a cut from when Daisuke screams to when he's laying on (Swansea's) bed, bloody and in pain; from when Jimmy uses the mouthwash to disinfect him (which only causes him to suffer more) and two hours later; from after the talk the two men have and the moment Jimmy decides to go find the gun, the axe gone from Daisuke's face. What happened in those missing scenes? Was Swansea the one who helped the kid onto his bed, trying to make him as comfortable as possible? Did he try to comfort him, to distract him, and ease his pain as well as he could? What was his reaction when he had to take back the axe off the face of the young man he had started seeing as his own kid, whose life he had hoped he could save but that he ultimately had to take with his own hands?

I personally think those parts are blocked out of Jimmy's mind, as he couldn't fit them in his own narrative, where he was the hero, Swansea the villain and Daisuke the innocent, young man whose life he tried his best to protect from this "monster" that was now going to come after him.

2-Swansea attacking Jimmy with the axe, especially the cemetery scene, and how it can be interpreted in different ways.

We, the viewers, knowing everything that happened, will see it as a desperate man, Swansea, trying to avenge the lives that had been lost on that ship because of Jimmy (wether directly or not), with Daisuke's death being the last straw. But i don't think that's how Jimmy saw it. He saw swansea as a crazed, mad man, a ruthless killer, coming for him after taking an innocent life, Daisuke's photo and mausoleum as a reminder for Jimmy of what the older man had done, and a justification for what he was about to do.

(not to talk about the implication that the fight against swansea was not as intense as we saw it, only confirming the idea that jimmy was looking for a justification for shooting him)

[humblefryingpan]

The "Amy likes spiders" poem in doki doki literature club (Natsuki's second poem) just makes me think of being closeted with internalized homophobia and I think it works really well for her

There's the poem if you haven't seen it!

(This is just me analyzing the poem and it's probably my longest post yet. I've been overanalyzing all the poems but this is the only one I've typed out atm lol)

It specifically makes me think of four things - Yuri liking different things and her disliking her for it, Natsuki being so far in the closet that she'll take any excuse to avoid the pretty girl™, Natsuki's self projection onto "Amy" and most importantly internalized homophobia, like I said earlier

It generally makes me think natsuri but I'll get to that later. So if we go from the internalized homophobia + closeted perspective (more like raised homophobic and doesn't know she's gay but ykwim), it reads as "a girl I know is a lesbian and Im meant to hate her for it. She's pretty and she makes me feel things but I can't be friends with her because she's a lesbian"

'The narrator' (Natsuki) heard a rumor that a girl, "Amy" (the lesbian), apparently likes 'spiders' (girls) and is repulsed. And that's why she isn't friends with her.

"Amy" sings the narrator's favorite love song, her voice is cute and it's making her heart pound. But she still likes 'spiders', so she can't be her friend.

She hurts her leg and "Amy" helped her get to the nurse. She tried to avoid touching her because her hands might be gross due to touching 'spiders', so she still can't be her friend.

"Amy" is very popular, but "she probably talks about spiders" (being gay). "What if her friends start to like spiders too?" (This entire verse rlly speaks for itself)

The next verse is shortest and even more repetitive than the rest of the poem (to emphasize her point) "it doesn't matter if she has other hobbies, it doesn't matter is she keeps it private, it doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone" because to the narrator - she can't be "Amy's" friend, no matter how bad she wants to, because she's always going to be a 'spider lover' (lesbian) and she won't be able to ignore that.

And then the final nail to seal shut the door to the closet - "it's gross, she's gross, the world is better off without spider lovers. And I'm gonna tell everyone" because she needs everyone to know she hates 'spider lovers' to make sure no one knows she is also one. It's so gross because she was taught it was and now she can't stop thinking it's gross, no matter how nice/pretty/kind "Amy" is.

Onto the natsuri part so if you don't like that ship feel free to skip the rest of this (if you're still here lol)

Yuri and Natsuki like such different things (creepy and complex vs cute and simple) and they reach the point where they've argued so much that Natsuki doesn't want to admit she doesn't dislike Yuri. Even if she likes her poems, she'd never tell her because she feels like she can't at this point.

Natsuki couldn't see past their differences for a while, when she finally does, she's too embarrassed to apologize and too uncomfortable to befriend her without apologizing.

Nearly every verse of the poem will talk about how great the girl is. How she has a cute voice, she helped her, she has lots of friends, she makes her heart pound. But every verse she will still come back to "but she likes spiders. That's why I'm not friends with her". It feels like her gradually warming up to Yuri but still reminding herself that she can't be her friend, they're too different, Yuri likes creepy things (Yuri probably does like spiders so that's a bit more literal but it's also that spiders seem to symbolise everything she likes that Natsuki doesn't) and she couldn't be friends with someone so different.

And lastly, Natsuki's self projection (this is what the meaning is said to be in-game), meaning "Amy" is Natsuki herself. Natsuki likes manga and her friends won't believe it counts as literature. Her manga is the spider in this interpretation, she doesn't want people to judge her based on what she likes. She's had to be so defensive about what she likes, she may even judge herself for liking it at this point. She doesn't want people to judge people by their interests.

I keep seeing people say that Amy is a real person but that's one of the only interpretations that makes no sense to me. Because Natsuki may be a bit judgemental but even she wouldn't make an entire poem about disliking her classmate's love of spiders. She said herself that anyone that agrees with the narrator in the poem is a bad person. It's far more likely that "Amy" is a made up idea, she's barely even shown as a person. She's seemingly meant to be symbolic of Natsuki's flaws and insecurities, whatever you perceive those insecurities to be.

Portraying Amy as an actual person kinda cheapens the poem, at least in my opinion, because she was talking about how people should be given a chance no matter what (or who) they like and if Amy was a person it wouldn't make sense

[chongoblog]

Any advice for a new player heading into Risk of Rain 2?

I'm far from an expert myself (I've yet to clear Eclipse 4), but here are a few tips from my last few months of hyperfixating on it. (Also these tips will be under the assumption you've at least played the game for a few hours)

-Movement speed > Defense in most cases. They can't hit you if you keep dodging

-In Abandoned Aqueduct, you'll find two buttons. Push pots onto them if you haven't already (doing so unlocks two of the best items in the game)

-The fourth level will always give you a Red Item. In Abyssal Depths, it's in a chest under a rock near the middle. In Siren's Call you have to fight a secret boss to get it. In Sundered Grove, it's in one of 5 possible locations (look for pink mushrooms).

-Don't feel pressured to rush. Looting the stages for items is almost always worth the increase in difficulty.

-Scrappers are your friend. Turning items you don't need into scrap will pay off big time, especially if you find a Printer with just the item you need. Like, if you find a gasoline or syringe printer, you'd have a better time scrapping your bison steaks and turning those into the items you want instead of the risk of losing a Tri-Tip Dagger (YMMV on usefulness of these items, this is just an example)

-Speaking of scrappers: Getting scrap before you go to the moon can really help you out, since there's Soups on the moon. 3 white scraps for a green item and 5 green scraps for a red item.

-If you pick up Trophy Hunter's Tricorn, the best bosses to use it on are Imp Overlord and either Worm, since their boss items are the best. Grovetender's is pretty solid too.

-You're gonna hear the word "proc coefficient" a lot. Don't worry about that too much unless you're a math nerd.

-Scorch Worms are the worst. They were made by Hoppo to cause pain and suffering. I don't have any advice for how to better beat them, I'm just telling you a harsh fact of life.

-In the Bazaar Between Time, there's a reflective surface behind Newt that reveals something interesting. Depending on how far you are in the game, you might not know what it means yet. When you figure it out, you'll get a fun treat.

-Get Egocentrism (This is not advice for how to be good at the game)

-It's hard to do, but the sooner you can unlock Desperado, the sooner you'll have fun playing Bandit.

-Mithrix. A lot of important tips for him, but probably the most important 3 are 1) Hoppo Feather is busted, because Mithrix has what I call the Barnacle Problem (he doesn't look up) 2) BE PATIENT ON PHASE 3. Going in and charging while he does the Pizza Attack (you'll know when you see it) is basically suicide. 3) Find a pillar to hide behind before Phase 4. ESPECIALLY if you picked up Shurikens.

I've dropped off of RoR2 for a bit in favor of other games and also Life (specifically Haste and moving my bf down here), but I'm always glad to ramble about it.

Hope this helps!!!

[mbsneur]

Foul

Alessia Russo x Niamh Charles x Reader

Summary: Your girlfriends fouled each other during a game which ended in an argument

Warnings: Smut

My Masterlist

please read this text before going to the story

please don't be so strict with me but rather write to me what I can do better or what you wished were different. also tell me if you find the story too long or too short.. Also write to me if you liked it. My requests are always open (and English is not my first language so don't be mad at me) and if you have any ideas for the future about who I should write please tell me… the topics I will choose by myself unless you have a request for one or two people I will Read everything.. in the next survey I will take a few ideas from the old survey and new ones…. now read and I hope you like it <33

It was the game of the season again. Your girlfriends Niamh and Alessia played against each other, Niamh for the Blues and Alessia for the Gooners. You knew that these games wouldn't end well. They always ended with fights, ignoring or insults or Niamh and Alessia taking turns with you off because they're too mad at each other to fuck you at the same time

You always attended these games to support your girls but this time you were sick on the couch and watched it from home

In the 85th minute it was 3-0 for Chelsea, you knew how angry Alessia would be afterwards

Arsenal tried to score goals out of necessity

When Alessia has the ball she starts to dribble. She dribbles past the Chelsea midfield but one person is firmly on her heels

her girlfriend niamh.

She looks behind her and tries to go faster. In an instant, Niamh slips to the ground for a straddle. She hits Alessia hard on the ankle

Alessia immediately rolls onto the floor and doubles over in pain. Niamh looks up and only sees Stina and Katie running to her

You sit in front of the TV and grit your teeth, hoping it's nothing bad

Niamh slides over to Alessia and rubs her back and tries to turn her onto her back

"lessi baby I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to spill out like that" Niamh whispers, concern in her voice

You couldn't hear all their conversations and emotions. You just saw your two friends lying close together on the floor

“Shut up Niamh your fucking aggressiveness is getting on my nerves” says Alessia in pain and the team’s physiotherapists run to her

Niamh couldn't say anything more. Kadeisha and Erin pulled her up from the ground and tried to pat her jersey clean

Niamh sees the yellow card for her unsportsmanlike performance. She shakes her head and looks again at Alessia, who was substituted for the last few minutes

You sit in front of the TV sighing and decide to get up because the game doesn't last much longer and it's almost decided

you wanted to make something small to eat for your girlfriends since you know they will be hungry

you heard the final whistle

You don't know whether Niamh and Alessia will be at each other's throats in the next few minutes

you wanted to make them baked vegetables with potatoes

//

Alessia und niamh

Niamh runs after Alessia after the final whistle to apologize

"lessi les-"

"What" Alessia turns around and says it with a sour tone. She really didn't think it was okay that Niamh fouled her so hard

"I didn't mean to foul you so hard it wasn't my intention I wanted to hit the ball"

"It's not just that it's just getting on my nerves that you've been behaving this aggressively for weeks"

"lessi you know that I haven't been feeling well the whole time" Niamh says with frustration and an apologetic voice Alessia furrows her eyebrows tightly

"Still you don't have to yell at y/n and me every day or push her away when she wants to hold you in her arms to comfort you No you're taking her for your good cause isn't that how it is?"

Niamh saw no reason to answer Alessia. She kept her answer short. "See you in the car" she said and walked towards the Chelsea changing rooms

//

You have finished boiling the potatoes and put the vegetables in the oven. A wave of bad thoughts comes over you as you think about how mad they will be, but all you want is to be close to them

You quickly tidied up the kitchen and washed a few things in the washing machine. The time passed quickly. Your clock started beeping to get the vegetables out of the oven

You put the food on a plate for the two of them and put it back in the oven to keep it warm. You sat back down on the couch and waited

//

Niamh finished faster than Alessia and sat down in the car. After a few minutes, Alessia also came to the car. She looked annoyed and she was wearing a tape bandage around her ankle. Niamh didn't want to hurt her so much

Niamh opened the car door from the inside for Alessia. She sat down on the seat with a deep sigh and fell back

Niamh held her thigh firmly in her strong hand "Lessi baby I really didn't mean to hurt you like that I'm so sorry. you're feeling better?" Niamh said with a tone full of understanding

Alessia looked over at Niamh somehow with a sad look "Niamh I told you before it's not just about this injury I'm concerned about your aggressiveness in the last few weeks and the fact that you treat Y/n like she's an object"

Niamh can't deny that in the last few weeks she has only treated you for her own purposes and that she has acted like she is the more dominant one even though you belong to both of them

The journey was quiet and it only started when they arrived

//

You heard your girlfriends in the hallway exchanging loud insults. Niamh pushed open the door and ran in upset

"Alessia stop talking like that where does your attitude come from, you know exactly how I'm going to have you in bed later" Niamh shouts directly in Alessia's direction and Alessia's eyes widen at these words

"I talk to you how I want and if you don't like it fuck off I'm tired of your behavior anymore" Alessia spits back and Niamh is seething inside

You stand there rooted to the spot and don't know what to say, let alone who to support

“Lessi come here it doesn’t mat- ” you say quietly

and are immediately interrupted by niamh

"yes, come on, you're conspiring against me again because of a foul" she says, taking turns looking at each other

"Niamh it's not about this shitty foul " Alessia screams and tries to protect you

"Can you both please just stop arguing the same thing every time it's enough" you say louder this time and catch a sweet look from Niamh that you love so much

"Did you make something to eat?" Niamh asks quietly so as not to upset anyone further

"niamh are you serious you're using her again make yourself something to eat" alessia starts arguing again and pushes niamh forward hard

Niamh suddenly turns around and comes extremely close to Alessia. "Now think carefully about what you're saying before I stuff your big mouth and push it onto this table" she says and Alessia slaps her hand away and pushes Niamh away and gives her a evil eye

Niamh comes your way and gives you a light kiss on your cheek. You stand there with your arms crossed and only accept the kiss with force

“It’s in the oven bring lessis too” you say, gently scratching your ear

Alessia comes to you a little quickly and hugs you tightly from the side and places lots of small kisses on your cheek. You flinch and laugh slightly at that

Niamh comes back with both plates and puts them on the table. You sit down but don't eat anything because you've already eaten earlier

While eating there is a silence and a lot of tension. Niamh's looks pierce your clothes and Alessia's eyes, make you wish you knew what was going on in her head

“Is your ankle better my beautiful” you ask Alessia with a slight smile on your face

„yeah-„ alessia says and is interrupted

"Both of you go to the bedroom immediately I want you naked on the bed go on"

Niamh says without even looking at you, you change and Alessia looks at each other questionably. Alessia would like to start screaming at Niamh again, but she needed Niamh

“What are you waiting for you don’t understand my language?” Niamh says now a little more seriously

You gave Alessia one last look before getting up first and heading towards the bedroom

Alessia gives Niamh a snide look “do you want to get up too come on” niamh says

Alessia goes into the bedroom without any objection, where you are already and have taken off your shirt

Alessia watches your every move with her big eyes. You unclip your bra and let it fall to the floor. Alessia comes to you and takes your cheeks in her hands to kiss you

your tongues are playing crazy in your mouths Alessia pushes you further back but you push her back "take off your clothes lessi" you say between the kisses and pauses for breathing

“Help me with that” she says in a moaning tone. You grab the hem of her shirt and release her by pulling it over her head

She continued kissing you passionately and pulled your pants down over your thighs. You did it yourself. You were a moaning mess

Her completely naked Alessia explored your whole body as if it was the first time she felt you

You stay in this position for a moment until Niamh came in “Stop touching her lessi” Alessia looks over at you and you nodded in agreement

Alessia takes a step back from you "you will sit on the bed and watch you don't deserve to touch her"

Niamh says and Alessia looks puzzled in her direction. Alessia answered with a simple no whereupon Niamh walked up to her and grabbed her hard by her ponytail

Alessia is panting hard and whimpering in pain Niamh leads her to the bed and presses her entire upper body onto the mattress

"Alessia behave otherwise you won't touch Y/n for the next few weeks and I won't fuck you" Niamh says and breathes hard into Alessia's ear. Alessia's tears come to her head from the pain. She gives up and nods her head and hope that niamh let her go

Niamh lets go of her with a hard jerk You stand like a heap of misery in the middle of the room Alessia sat down at the end of the bed

Niamh looks over at you and waves you over. She takes you in her strong arms and gives you a kiss on your temple. You flinch slightly because you missed Niamh's tenderness so much. "You're such a good girl not like Alessia you always do what I tell you" she whispers in your ear and nibbles lightly on your earlobe

Alessia watches you closely and takes her bottom lip between her teeth and Niamh nibbles lightly on your neck and eliciting a whimper from you

she pulls your skin taut with her teeth "will you put on a good show and show Alessia how well I fucked you if she doesn't behave mh"

You nod and press yourself harder into Niamh's front to create some sort of friction

"Lie down and spread your legs for me baby I'll be right back"

You do what you were told and lie down with your legs spread. If Alessia didn't control herself, she would lie on you

After a few minutes, Niamh came back and had the biggest cock in your collection on her hips. You froze at the sight. Niamh had a cocky grin on her lips

She leans over you and you twitch under her touch. She slowly guides your knees further apart with her hands. "Will you take me? Will you be good?" Niamh says bossily, boring her eyes down into your chest

"yeah ni please" you beg for her touch

She takes the Slikikon cock in her hand and guides it to your hole. In one fell swoop it is completely inside you. Your breath is choked and your back lifts from the bed. You were not prepared for this sudden big stretch

She starts to move her hips slowly in time so that you could get used to it, but she didn't give you long time. She pushed into you with such force that you could hardly squirm

she grabbed your neck to get more support you let out a choking moan "look at lessi f- look at her"

She turns your head hard towards Alessia and you look at her. She looks at you with complete fascination. Niamh starts to hit the perfect spots in your inner core. Your heavy breathing turns into pornographic moans

Niamh's hips don't slow down for a second and fuck you harder and harder "will you ever be as naughty as Lesi mh?" she says trembling

If you were to answer now you would end up in a moaning mess, tears welling up in your eyes, your pussy starting to hurt and you know you won't be able to walk tomorrow

“answer me and don’t be a bitch” she presses your cheek hard

"niamh fuck no I'm always- your oh fuck- good girl" you try to get out and notice that niamh is speeding up "fuck niamh let it out on me"

"Do you want me to use you to let out my anger that I have from Alessia on you?" she says, starting to scratch your neck. Her grip becomes looser so that you can breathe better now

“use me fuck harder please I need it” you moan loudly and feel a knot forming in your intestines

"Lessi play with your clitoris come on" she tells Alessia instructively, who of course wastes no time and puts her index finger on your clitoris and forms precise circles

As Alessia touches your clitoris you become a trembling mess. Your legs squeeze tightly around the faster Niamh. Alessia starts biting your nipples, making your back arch upwards

After a few more circles and thrusts, “Niamh I’m close please” you say moaning and waiting anxiously for confirmation

"You deserve it you're so good you're allowed to come make a mess baby" she says with a slight smile and gets even faster

It took you a moment until you came on her silicone cock with a loud scream of their names. Your body shook uncontrollably and your vision became glassy. Alessia and Niamh didn't stop fucking you

The orgasm went long before you started to get sensitive and remove Alessia's hand from your clitoris and take it into yours. Niamh moves you away from Alessia slightly and grabs your hair. She pulls you onto your back and onto all fours without leaving your pussy

She still holds your hair tightly in her fist and starts thrusting into you from behind, you let out a whimper of overstimulation. She pulls you back by your hair so far that your neck is completely stretched

"Lessi I don’t told you to stop fingering her keep going" she says angrily to Alessia, who doesn't let anyone say anything twice and immediately puts her finger back on your clitoris. You literally scream until it turns into renewed pleasure

"I just need a little more you can do it" Niamh says with a moan and pushes hard into you again Niamh's moans start to get louder and shake "now Niamh baby" Lesi laughs and starts kissing up and down your back

"Stop acting like that Alessia" moans Niamh and becomes weaker. She lets go of your hair to slap fat on your ass and then grab it tightly in her hand. You moan in pain and rock back and forth with her thrusts

"fuck I'm coming lessi kiss me please" niamh starts shaking behind you alessia pulls her into a deep kiss to help her through her hard orgasm niamh gets hard she comes and lets herself fall easily

Her chin rests gently on your back before she moves away from you. You immediately feel a rush of emptiness. You gently turn onto your back and laugh, still dazed by what had happened

“I love you both can you please stop arguing all the time you need each other just as much as I need you” you say, not taking your eyes off either of them

Niamh and Alessia start to laugh slightly embarrassingly

"And now I've forgotten what lessi taste like and then I want to be eaten out in the shower" you said laughing and Alessia immediately threw herself under you

[memepocalypse]

Chronic

I've done my best to be respectful, a lot of this is based on my personal and friend experience of being someone with chronic conditions. Some of these talking to sufferers show microaggressions.

"No, I'm still exhausted."

"It doesn't go away, it doesn't get better."

"I have good days and bad days. Sometimes, I have bad days because I had good days."

"Just because I'm struggling doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself."

"The cost is worth it, sometimes."

"I know you mean well, but stop trying to help."

"I don't want to cancel my plans either."

"No, I can't go tonight. I'm sorry. I wanted to."

"Do you have any idea how frustrating this is for me?"

"Chronic. That means it doesn't go away. It's forever."

"I'm tired! Damnit, I'm tired!"

"I'm done with pushing through it to make other people comfortable."

"I didn't chose this."

"I still deserve to be treated like a person."

"Just let me rest. Please. I'll have a better day tomorrow."

"I'm out of spoons."

"I don't understand why you made the plans if you don't want to go?"

"Haven't you slept enough?"

"Everyone gets tired, you know."

"I don't get it. Do you not want to see me?"

"You should go to bed earlier."

"Have you tried yoga?"

"Maybe you should go vegan, I bet that'd help."

"I know you're sore, but I just want to go out for a little bit."

"Hey, it's okay. You can't help it."

"You know we love you no matter what your body is doing, right?"

"It's okay to find it hard."

"I'm going to bring you some food."

"Don't feel like you have to hit this imaginary target for me."

"Alright, how about this? We'll come to your house, we'll cook, and we'll play games, and you lay in bed, and take part as much or as little as you want. But we'll still be right there."

[writingwithciara]

He Never Will ~Jack Hughes~

summary: jack loves his best friend and only wants to protect her from the worlds shittiest boyfriend

word count: 3.6k

pairing: jack hughes x reader, reader x shitty boyfriend

notes: based off the song by alexander stewart (my birthday twin 💕). i've recently become obsessed with this song & haven't put anything out for jack yet so i figured i'd write this for him [TW: toxic relationship with abuse]

masterlist

jack was in love with his best friend. it was cliche and he knew it but he didn’t care. the only thing he cared about was making sure she didn’t find out.

her boyfriend could tell though. he saw the way jack looked at y/n & he hated hearing him talk about her to other people as if he was the one dating her.

it was like a game to hunter though. well, more of a test really.

he had suspicions that y/n was into jack so every once in a while, he would pick a fight with her just to see if she ran crying to jack. and most of the time, she did.

when she didn’t run to her best friend, she would run to his brother or the captain of his hockey team. but to hunter, it didn't matter who she ran to. The point was that she ran to another guy and he didn't like it.

but she always went back to him, no matter how bad he treated her and jack hated that. he knew she deserved better and he wanted to be the one she chose. jack wanted her to stay on one of the many nights she ran to him.

but she never did.

if he don't know what he's got now, he never will

it was the night before jack was supposed to head up to toronto for the all-star game when y/n came back to his place.

the tears were pouring down her face as jack let her into his apartment without a word. he could never bring himself to say i told you so, especially not when she was in such a vulnerable state.

a few minutes of silence passed as they sat on the end of his bed before jack spoke up.

"so what happened tonight?"

"i don't even really know. i got home from work and he was in the middle of trashing my apartment. he said something about me not being faithful to him, which is total bullshit. and i know we have our fights and shit on a daily basis, and that's alright. but tonight felt different. like if i had stayed any longer, maybe he would've hit me or something."

jack looked at her face for any sign of a mark, fearing that she may have been hiding something from him. but there was nothing so he let it slide.

"i'm gonna take you home and i want you to pack a bag as quickly as you possibly can."

"why?" she wiped her eyes and looked at jack.

"you're coming with me to toronto."

"are you nuts? that's only going to make this worse, jack."

"i'm going to be gone for a week and there's no way in hell that i'm leaving you alone with him for that long with no guarantee of safety."

"i'll still have nico. and luke even."

"please just do this for me? i'm worried about leaving you with hunter. i swear the kid's just begging to get his ass beat."

"jack, if i promise to go with you to toronto, will you promise to try to get along with hunter when we get back?"

"y/n, i've already tried. he's a lost cause honestly."

"can we not have this conversation again? i'm tired of hearing it." y/n sighed with frustration and stood up. she began to pace around jack's room.

"until you see how much better you are than hunter, i'm gonna keep bringing it up. and the fact that you've heard it more than once should be enough to tell you something!" jack raised his voice but regretted it immediately when y/n started to cry. "please just listen to me okay? look, i care about you and i only want what's best for you. i'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything. i'm sorry if i upset you." jack pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back as she sobbed.

y/n cried for a good 10 minutes before she finally spoke again.

"i'm not upset with you, jack. i could never be. i'm upset with myself because i know i shouldn't be with someone like hunter but i love him so much and i can't just walk away from that." she looked up at jack and smiled when he wiped her tears away. "please don't hate me for staying with him."

"i could never ever hate you. i hope you know that." he rubbed her back soothingly. "and although i don't support you staying with him, i'm always here if you need me and i'm never ever leaving your side, okay?"

"okay." y/n nodded with a shy smile.

"so, will you please come to toronto with me?"

jack and y/n ended up meeting up with luke and nico before the boys took y/n back o her apartment to get her stuff. luckily for them, hunter was nowhere to be found.

y/n packed a bag quickly and left a little note for hunter. jack didn't agree with that idea, fearing hunter would come find her and do something terrible. but luke and nico assured him that y/n would be safe with them while at the game.

the 4 of them got in the car and were on the plane in no time. y/n took the window seat and jack sat next to her.

"what's going on in your mind?"

"part of me just...i don't know...i feel a little bad for hunter. maybe he's only like this because he didn't get a whole lot of positive attention growing up."

"don't feel bad for that piece of shit, y/n. he doesn't deserve you. and his lack of positive attention is no excuse for the way he treats you. i really hope you understand that someday." jack sighed and changed the topic.

for the rest of the flight, nico did most of the talking while luke did everything he could to keep a smile on y/n's face, even if it was only a small one. he accepted it either way.

when they got to the hotel they were staying at, the lady at the front desk gave them 2 keys. jack handed one to y/n and the group went up to their rooms. y/n wasn't a fan of being alone but at least the boys were just next door if she needed them.

the first night in toronto was not great. y/n woke up from a nightmare screaming and she couldn't bring herself to stop crying. jack heard her scream and was in her room in seconds. his heart broke when he saw the state she was in so he stayed with her for the next two nights.

on draft day, y/n was sitting with nico and luke as they watched the event unfold. she excused herself to use the bathroom and while she was gone, her phone buzzed in her seat.

it was a series of texts from hunter. nico and luke took it upon themselves to respond.

the two boys shared a look before y/n returned. she noticed their weird behavior and raised an eyebrow.

"you weirdos doing alright?"

"yeah. never better." nico lied and turned his attention back to the draft.

"hunter texted you while you were in the bathroom and we answered him."

"luke!" nico shot his teammate a look before looking over at y/n beside him.

"what did you guys do that for?" y/n opened her phone and went through the messages. "i could've handled it, you guys."

"we're all tired of him treating you like you mean nothing to him. that's not how you deserve to be treated." luke sighed.

"we're sorry, y/n." nico sighed. "we just love you so much."

"i'm not sorry."

"luke!" nico shot him another glare and rolled his eyes.

"i'm sorry, okay? but it had to be said. y/n deserves better than what she has and if you guys want to tell me different, then go right ahead. but we all know the truth." luke sighed. y/n placed her hand on his shoulder and hugged him.

"i know you guys are looking out for me, and i love you for it. so much." y/n looked over at nico. "can you guys let jack know that i'm gonna head back to new jersey before hunter gets here? i need to go pack my stuff."

"are you leaving him?"

"yeah." she stood up and sighed. "i don't know where i'm gonna go though."

"crash at jack's. you know he won't mind."

"yeah because he's in love with her." luke chuckled, earning another glare and a wide-eyed expression from y/n.

"that's supposed to be a secret, luke."

"oh, my bad. i thought she knew."

"that's a conversation for another day. i got something to focus on right now. but i won't forget you told me." y/n kissed luke's head and gave nico a hug before heading back to the hotel to pack. she left a note for jack because she knew the boys would forget to tell him.

when everything was done, y/n found herself back on the plane to new jersey.

the flight wasn't long but it gave her some time to think about what luke told her. she was shocke but everything was hitting her all at once.

had jack always felt this way?

when the plane landed, y/n got in the first cab she could find and headed to her apartment. as the car approached the building, y/n was suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread. she didn't want to end up running into hunter on the off chance he hadn't actually gone to toronto.

she slowly unlocked the front door and made her way inside. when there was no sign of hunter, y/n let out a sigh of relief before making her way to the bedroom.

she grabbed her suitcase and started throwing all her clothes into it. unfortunately, she only made it through half her clothes before she heard the door open and close. she tried to hide the fact that she was leaving but hunter entered the room before she could do anything.

"why would you feel the need to lie about where you were going?"

"you wouldn't have let me go support my best friends, hunter. i had no other choice. lying was my only option. plus i needed a damn break."

"what could you have possibly needed a break from?"

"from you. you're constantly keeping track of my whereabouts and you won't let me spend any time with my friends. the only time i get to see jack is whenever you start some pointless argument and drive me away for a night. it's getting to the point where i need to put my own mental health above everything."

"what the fuck are you trying to say?"

"i'm leaving, hunter. this is too much." y/n went to grab her bag but hunter gripped her wrist firmly.

"you're not going anywhere."

"let me go!"

"you're not going anywhere." he repeated, this time with emphasis on each word.

"i swear to god, if you don't let me go, i'll-"

"you'll what? call jack to come rescue you like always? well you can't. he's in toronto and i-"

at this point, y/n was tired of him and his comments about jack. she reached for the nearest object and swung it at his arm. hunter released his grip on her and before he could grab her again, she grabbed her suitcase and used it to keep some distance between them.

"i'll be back for my other stuff later."

"whatever, bitch."

y/n rolled her eyes and hurried out of the apartment. when she got in her car, she broke down and facetimed jack.

he picked up with a smile but it disappeared when he saw her tears.

"what happened? why did you go back to jersey?"

"i thought hunter was gonna be in toronto...and i figured i'd take that opportunity to come home and pack my stuff & leave the apartment. but he came home and...." y/n began to sob harder. "he hurt me, jack. hs grabbed my arm and it hurts so much. i don't know why i'm calling you when there's nothing you can do about it now."

"bullshit. i'm getting on the next flight home and i'm going to kick that douchebag's ass."

"jack, you're a captain of an all star team. you can't leave. quinn needs you there."

"but you need me there more." jack moved around the hotel room to pack his bag. "besides, quinn has elias and if he really needs another hughes, luke is here too. plus, i can't even compete in the all-star game so there's really no point in me being here."

"but this is important to you, jack."

"y/n, you are more important than any hockey game, all-star or not. you are my best friend and i'm going to be there for you when you need me to be." he looked at his laptop. "i'll be home in about 5 hours, okay?"

"okay." y/n sniffled and wiped her eyes. "is it alright if i-"

"of course you can stay with me. you don't even have to ask." jack smiled softly at the girl on his screen. "want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"please? i mean, if you don't mind." y/n propped her phone in the holder and began driving to jack's apartment.

"anything for you. you know that." jack kept y/n on the phone while he knocked on luke and nico's door. luke answered and smiled at his brother.

"hey. what's up?"

"i'm heading home. y/n needs me."

"just how in love with her are you?" luke smirked, not even realizing that y/n's face was on jack's screen and she could hear everything.

"dude, she's on the phone." jack's eyes darted down to his phone and back to luke's, whose eyes only widened when he realized.

"cat's out of the bag. oops." luke went to shut the door. "good luck, jack."

luke shut the door completely and jack looked back at his phone.

"for the record, luke is an idiot and i wouldn't listen to anything he says ever."

"never do." y/n smiled. jack returned the smile and couldn't help but stare at her as he headed down to the lobby to hail a cab.

"i won't be able to talk to you while i'm on the flight but i'll call you when i land, okay?"

"okay." y/n pulled into the parking lot of jack's building and got out. as she made her way into the apartment, part of her felt relieved. it felt like she was home.

"alright. the flight is boarding but i'll make sure to call you when i land. help yourself to anything in the apartment. there's some bath bombs and bubble bath at the back of my closet in case you want to take a nice, relaxing bath."

"thanks again, jack. for everything. i really appreciate you. have a safe flight."

"i will. love you."

"love you too." y/n smiled and hung up. she made her way into jack's room and pulled the bath stuff out from his closet. she ran the water for her bath and put on some calming music while also lighting a few candles. she put the cotton candy bath bomb in the water and when it was filled, she got in.

she hadn't even been paying attention to the time when jack got home. he stumbled in through the door with a busted lip and a shiny black eye.

"jesus christ. what the hell happened to you?"

"i'm sorry. i know you don't like it when i get violent off the ice, but i had to stop at hunter's before i came home. he hurt you so i hurt him. tit for tat i guess."

"how bad did you hurt him?"

"pretty bad. he's like 10 times worse than me right now."

"you didn't have to do that for me, jack." y/n looked at the cut on his lip. "now let's go clean up your lip and see if we can do something about that eye." y/n grabbed his hand and brought him to the bathroom. she sat him on the edge of the tub and grabbed a rag from the bin, running it under some warm water.

jack watched her every move intently, afraid that if he looked away, she would fade into a memory.

y/n wiped the dried blood from his face and started looking through her own bag for something to heal the black eye faster.

"you know, i don't hate it when you get violent off the ice, especially when it's to defend me. kinda think it's hot that you would put yourself in the way of violence if you're protecting me." she applied a cream to his left eye and placed a gentle kiss just below the bruise. when she pulled away from his face, she made eye contact with him. "i love you but can you please stop getting into fights?"

"thought you found it hot when i did." jack smirked.

"i do. but i also don't like seeing you get hurt." y/n ran her hands through his hair slowly while his hands held her waist. he tugged her closer and hugged her tightly.

"you're truly a blessing and i hate that hunter could never realize what he had."

"hopefully he realizes what he had now that he's lost it."

"you would never go back to him again, would you?" jack moved his had from his resting spot on her stomach and looked up at her.

"and leave you? no chance in hell will that ever happen." y/n knelt down to be at eye level with him.

there was something about the way he was looking at her that made her feel like they were alone in the world.

jack looked at her and he swore his heart began to beat faster. her gaze was focused on his lips and she tried to look away but she couldn't.

when jack's thumb reached up to draw delicate circles on her cheek, she knew she was screwed.

for years she was telling herself that she didn't have feelings for jack but here they were now, in the bathroom, sharing an intimate moment.

the feelings hit her hard and before she knew it, she was pulling jack in for a gentle kiss. when she tried to pull away, jack held her cheeks and poured everything into the kiss.

by the time the kiss ended, they were both out of breath and their faces were red. jack had a playful smirk on his face as he admired y/n's features.

"you are so incredibly beautiful, y/n. can't believe hunter would treat you so badly."

"how about we stop talking about that asshole & instead focus on this?" she gestured between them and smirked. "i love you and i'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"i'm sorry i never told you how i felt." jack continued to hold onto her face while y/n held his arms. "in case it's not obvious now, i do actually love you. but how could i not? i mean you are the most incredible human being & definitely the most precious person i've ever known. you are perfect in every way and i will spend the rest of my life showing you how you deserve to be loved. i-if that's alright with you."

"you are all i want and all i need jack. forever and always, since forever." she wrapped her pinky around his and smiled. a simple gesture that's been part of their lives since they were 9 but they loved it because it meant more to them than anyone could ever know.

taglist: @worldlxvlys @fearfam69691