#and noah is over there going ‘look at the pretty glitter!!!’

[lazybakerart]

ronan wanting to punch something because gansey looks attainable in his dirty cargo shorts and mussed up hair

[strawnarrries]

Can you please please do some kind of smut with Niall body worship. He would be single in this scenario. And maybe it's after a show and one of the venue workers does not care for him for whatever reason, but she ends up alone with him, and he's all sweaty in his tank top, and he seduces her and gets her to feel all his arms and then his chest. And then he has her take his clothes off and he's super patronizing and condescending, and then he has her suck him off, and he's laughing because she can't take it all. AHHHHH!!!

"Who is performing tonight? Why is everybody freaking out?" you asked your coworker as you helped set up the buffet for the musician and their team arriving soon.

You worked as a runner backstage during music concerts for the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, TN. It wasn't the best-paying job but you liked it. Nights usually go pretty smoothly but for some reason, the air was tense tonight. Everybody was frantic and your managers were extra particular about everything being perfect. You felt like you were constantly being pulled in every direction.

"Y/N, you don't know? It's Niall freaking Horan! He's literally gonna be here in like an hour!" she replied excitedly.

"Oh," you replied, not impressed.

"You don't like Niall Horan?"

"Eh, I've never really liked him. I've heard he's super cocky and kind of an asshole."

"Oh my gosh, don't even say that! I never fangirl over artists but I'm so excited about tonight. He's literally so hot!"

"I guess," you replied with a shrug.

"There's a rumor Noah Kahan is making a guest appearance too."

"Who?"

"Y/N!" she scolded and you giggled before she added, "For someone who works backstage at concerts, you'd think you'd be more into music."

Your workload tonight picked up even more once Niall and his team arrived. You were assigned to work with his team to help set everything up, make sure sound production was working, as well as doing little things to make sure everything was running smoothly.

Niall was actually quite pleasant to be around. Although you could definitely tell he had his cocky side, he was friendly and had a great sense of humor. The concert itself was magnificent. With all the shows you've worked for, this crowd was one of the loudest you have ever witnessed. They adored him and you now understood why. He was insanely attractive and so talented. You hadn't ever noticed until tonight.

It was after the show and everybody had started the cleanup process. You were instructed to go to Niall's room and double-check that he was okay and to get him anything he needed. You knocked on the door, nervously awaiting his response.

"Come in," he yelled.

Opening the door, you walked through and was met face to face with him. A man has never looked so good packing up his belongings after doing a show. He had taken off his leather vest and was just wearing his jeans and his black tank top. He was still sweaty from the show, slightly breathless. His biceps looked huge, glittering with sweat and you couldn't help but stare a little bit, wanting so badly to feel those muscles.

"Hey, I was told to come check on you and see if you need anything from us."

"Uh, I think I'm okay, thanks." His accent was so thick, it made your thighs involuntarily clench together.

"Okay, let me know if you need anything then," you replied, getting ready to walk back out the door before he stopped you.

"Wait," he called.

"What?"

"C'mere, I wanna talk to you."

"You wanna talk to me?" you asked, slightly shocked by his words.

"Yeah, close the door."

You closed the door behind you, taking a couple steps closer to him. Butterflies were swarming violently in your stomach, nervous that you were alone with Niall and even more nervous that he wanted to be alone with you.

"Did you like the show?" he asked, sitting down on a stool near the counter in his room. He crossed his arms over his chest, and you couldn't help but let your eyes flick down to his biceps.

"I did actually. You're really talented," you complimented.

"Did you notice me watching you?" he added.

"You were watching me?" you asked surprisingly.

"Yeah. I know you were working but I could see how badly you wanted to dance, to sway those pretty little hips to my songs."

"O-oh," you replied, feeling embarrassed.

"What's your favorite song of mine?" he asked.

"Not sure. I've never really listened to your music."

"Ouch, love," he feigned being hurt, placing a hand over his heart, "Why not?

You giggled softly at his reaction, "I don't know, I've always thought you were a little cocky."

"Ouch again!

"Well, now that I've met you I understand why," you explained.

"Oh really? Elaborate for me."

"Well, you're very attractive and a great performer. Plus if I was a guy and had all those girls screaming for me, I'd be the same way."

You felt your eyes continuing to stray from his and land on his arms. His biceps were flexing with each movement of his arm, the veins on his forearm peeking out and causing your mouth to water.

"Oh you think I'm attractive," he smirked.

"Stop, that's not the point of what I was saying," you giggled shyly.

"If it makes you feel better, I can tell you think I'm attractive."

"What? How?"

"Well for one thing, you haven't stopped staring at my arms this entire conversation," he grinned.

"O-oh, no, I-I didn't," your heart fell into your stomach; you were completely shocked and embarrassed you got caught ogling.

"You wanna feel them?" he asked, throwing you for a complete other loop.

"I-I don't-." You didn't know what to do. Of course, you wanted to feel them. But this was Niall Horan and you were on the clock. You felt like you were dreaming honestly.

"Come on, come feel them," he smirked, cocking his head.

This was never something you ever imagined you'd be doing, especially on the clock at work, but you soon found yourself moving towards him, your palms wrapping around his thick bicep. His skin was warm to the touch and his muscles were strong as you squeezed them. The next thing you knew, your hands mindlessly traveled towards his torso, his damp tank top clinging to his abs and outlining them perfectly for you. You traced them, fingers soon traveling down to the hem of his top and teasing it, wanting to badly to feel what was underneath.

Your dreams came true when you heard the words, "take it off."

But you didn't believe it. There's no way he just told you to take his shirt off, "W-what?"

"Go on, take off my tank top."

You didn't respond, just slowly slipped your hands under his top and pulled it up, over his head and oh my gosh it was so much better than you could have imagined. His chest was glistening with sweat, hair lining every inch, making him look so sexy and manly. And you didn't even want to get started on his muscles. His pecs and abs were so clearly defined, that it was obvious that this man spent a lot of time in the gym. You have never felt so turned on so quickly.

You ran your hand over his damp skin. You could feel every ridge of his muscles, the coarse chest hair slightly rough against your soft skin. You watched in awe as your hands explored his body, your mouth watering at the sight.

"Close that mouth, pretty girl, you'll catch flies."

You hadn't even noticed that your mouth had fallen open. Your cheeks immediately reddened in embarrassment as your jaw closed and he chuckled at you, "You like what you see?"

"Mhm," you hummed, nodding your head.

Lifting his hand, he used his curled index finger to lift your chin up to look at him. You stared into his gorgeous blue eyes that were covered by lust. You traced every inch of his face with your eyes, landing on his lips looking so soft and kissable. It was taking everything in your power not to kiss him.

"I can tell you wanna kiss me."

Were you being that obvious?

You didn't even reply this time, just in complete awe of the man standing in front of you. He was so cocky but ugh he had every right to be.

"Go on. Kiss me."

You smirked softly, not giving in just yet.

"You better kiss me first because, in a couple seconds, I'm not gonna be able to resist not kissing you."

"Maybe I want you to kiss me first," you challenged.

His lips immediately covered yours and oh my gosh you could not believe you were kissing Niall Horan. His lips were so soft and fuck, he was such a good kisser. You parted your lips and allowed him to lick into you, tasting you and asserting his dominance over you. You grabbed onto his waist, holding him to your chest as your lips moved in sync with his. The kisses were hot, deep, passionate, sexy, all of the above. You melted against him, feeling your abdomen clench and your panties dampen as he angled his head, kissing you deeper.

"Fuck," he mumbled against your lips.

You continued to kiss, his hands beginning to roam your entire body and you let him. He reached down and cupped both of your ass cheeks in his large palms, squeezing roughly. You whimpered slightly against his lips, chills running up your spine as he nipped softly on your lower lip.

"Get on your knees," he demanded, "Wanna feel those sexy lips wrapped around my cock."

You have never been on your knees so fast for a guy before. Your fingers fumbled with his belt buckle, trying to undo it so you could free him from his pants. You were frenzied and nervous and excited, so much that you could not get it unbuckled for the life of you.

Niall began laughing, "I got you so flustered that you can't even do a simple task like unbuckle my belt. Do I make you that nervous?"

You didn't reply, your hands getting even shakier as the seconds went by.

"Come on, sweet girl, let me help you." he hummed, reaching down and messing with his belt, easily unbuckling it and pulling it out of the loops in his jeans.

"See how easy that was?" he commented and you were just glad you could finally get your hands on what you've wanted this whole time.

Unzipping his pants, you wasted no time and pulled them down his legs, letting his pants and briefs pool at his feet. His hard member was revealed to you and oh my gosh it was so much bigger than you had ever expected.

He laughed at you as you grabbed onto his member; he was so thick you just barely were able to wrap your entire palm around him, "You look scared."

"No, I just wasn't expecting you to be so big," you hummed, hating yourself for inflating his ego even more than it already was.

He was so hard. His red, swollen tip was peaking out from under his foreskin, precum oozing from his slit, practically screaming at you to do something. You began to pump him, squeezing slightly once you got to the tip, running your thumb over it and using his precum as a lubricant as you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come.

"Stop stalling. Go on and wrap those pretty little lips around my big cock."

Obeying him, you wasted no more time and took him in until he hit the back of your throat. You barely had half of him in your mouth before you began gagging, eyes watering in response.

You heard him rumble with laughter, amusement written all over his face, "Can't take it all, huh?"

"Fucking hell," you muttered mostly to yourself as you came off of him, a string of spit following you.

He smirked at your response as you took a deep breath before taking him in your mouth again. He gathered all your hair in his palms, pulling it up into a ponytail to hold it out of your face. You innocently looked up at him through your lashes, watching as his body reacted to your warm mouth wrapped around his most sensitive area. You bobbed your head up and down, your palm wrapped around what you couldn't fit in your mouth.

He pressed both hands against the side of your head and added pressure to stop your movements. Relaxing your throat, you let him take control, thrusting his hips so his member slid in and out of your warm mouth. His tip hit the back of your throat and you gagged with each thrust. His balls slapped against the underside of your chin and he grunted with each thrust of his hips.

"Fuck, this is so fucking sexy. Look at you actually taking it all," he grunted.

Tears began to slowly slide down your cheeks the more you gagged on him. You looked up at him through blurry eyes and felt your panties dampen at the sight above you. He was so sexy. A thicker layer of sweat was glittering across his skin, enhancing the look of his muscles. Chest hair was sprinkled throughout his torso, his happy trail leading down to the patch of hair tickling your nose every time he bottomed out. His face was scrunched in pleasure, eyes crinkled and mouth ajar as he watched in awe as his member was soaked in your saliva, your throat constricting around him and bringing him closer to the edge by the second.

His thrusts began to get sloppy and you could tell he was close to finishing, his words soon confirming your belief, "Jesus christ, I'm gonna cum so fucking hard. Gonna swallow it all? Like the good girl you are?"

You hummed in response, preparing yourself for his load. It was only seconds later when he left his balls contracting and his orgasm ripping throughout his entire body. He grunted in pleasure as his load shot down your throat, warming your insides. Pulling out, he stroked himself a couple times to finish off his orgasm, tugging the last spurts of his load onto your tongue. Once he had come down from his high, he let out a heavy breath and watched as you swallowed every last drop of him.

"Jesus," he breathed, running a hand through his sweaty hair, "fuck, I think that was one of the best blowjobs I've ever had."

Your confidence rose as you stood on your feet in front of him, smirking at him, "Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," he hummed as he placed his hands on your hips, eyes trailing down to your lips, "you're really sexy."

"So are you," you grinned, letting his lips engulf yours before pushing him off, "As much as I wanna continue this, I am still on the clock."

He giggled at your statement before bending down and pulling his pants back up, "Give me your number and maybe we can meet up next time I'm in town."

You smiled, "Okay."

What the hell just happened?

[callowaymp3]

Noah could probably count on one hand the amount of people who made him actually, genuinely nervous. It was a short list, spearheaded by Flynn Moone, who was simultaneously the person Noah felt closest to and also had this annoying ability to make his palms sweat and heartbeat pick up. Up until around five minutes ago, he wouldn't have fit Poppy Martin into that category. So much of Noah was wrapped up in his cliche tough guy persona - a tortured artist with blood caking his knuckles and a chip on his shoulder. The Poppy Martins of the world, with their short, glittery outfits and their ridiculous vocabulary didn't faze him.

But as his sock-clad feet dug into her carpet, as he stared into her open face, took in her affable smile, he was forced to wonder if he was wrong. The comment had been made in jest, another one of Noah's stupid quips that usually either earned him an eye roll or a slap (if he was unlucky). But it was becoming clearer, as Noah counted all the places Poppy's skin touched his - shoulder to shoulder, now lips to cheek - that Poppy hadn't brought him here to fuck him. And Noah's charm only lasted as long as one round of drinks, two, maybe, however long it took to get someone to agree to go home with him. Two things were becoming apparent, if Noah wanted Poppy (and he had to admit that by now, he did really want her) he'd have to play the long game. And that Poppy was merely being kind, which forced Noah to be real, and he wasn't sure he knew how to do that.

"I've seen a pretty girl's bedroom before." he said, words in jest but voice wavering. Even as she echoed his own words back to him, making them sound so much more earnest in her own tongue, Noah felt his stomach flip.

She let go of his hand, then, contorting her body to shove her bedroom door open. Noah followed clumsily after, his eyes taking in the full magnitude of her room. It was so deeply Poppy it brought a smile to his face. Stuffed to the brim with music memorabilia and plush toys lined up dutifully on her bed, it was like a glitter gel pen had exploded in there. Meanwhile, Keeley had once joked that she thought Noah would sleep on a mattress on the floor if he could.

There was so much to take in, and yet, all Noah could do was let his eyes follow the singer, who threw herself down on the bed in a carefree manner, like someone who didn't care how she was percieved, just happy to sink into her fluffy sheets. God, she was painfully sexy. Noah wasn't even sure she knew she was doing it, staring up at him with those big eyes from her position atop her sheets. He realised absently that he wanted to kiss her.

He gravitated to her side, finding himself standing at the foot of her bed while she lay there, one leg between her own, knocking them wider apart. Something that could be mistaken as entirely innocent, but Noah wanted her to conjure up different scenarios in her mind, wanted to be certain that when he left her apartment today, she'd still be thinking of him standing at the foot of her bed.

Leaning over, he plucked one of the stuffed toys from behind her head. Some kind of Pokemon with bright pink fur, Noah ran his hands over it with unpracticed gentleness before dropping it back into Poppy's lap, murmuring something that sounded like, "Cute."

But Poppy wasn't looking at him, rather past him, at her far wall, a conspiratorial smile that had Noah looking with her, only for his eyes to widen and his jaw to slacken slightly.

"Fuck." he breathed, voice soft with awe at the sight of the most beautiful guitar he'd ever seen. Something had tugged at him at the sight of it, some kind of familiarity, but it was only as beautiful as every other guitar he'd seen with his face pressed up against shop windows. Only as spectacular as the guitars he tidied away after Poppy for every single night, wishing he could run his fingers over the strings just one time.

"Who?" Noah asked, spinning to face her, his shock of hair falling into his eyes as he did so. Poppy was practically levitating off the bed with excitement, and Noah dared to take a few steps closer to the guitar, only for the first time noticing the scrawl across it's body.

Bent in half at the waist, Noah peered at the guitar, not daring to touch it. He could almost imagine Poppy's nose wrinkling in disgust at the sight of his fingerprints marring the guitar - for that reason alone he was tempted to do it, but fuck, it was such a beautiful guitar. With his eyes, he followed the loops and swirls of the signature that adorned it, his heart in his throat as the puzzle pieces clicked into place.

"No way, no fuckin' way." he choked out a laugh, his hand coming up to wipe down his face in disbelief.

The closest Noah had ever gotten to Bruce Springsteen himself was humming along to his songs in the passenger seat of Holden's car, was plucking guitar strings, and huddling around the library computer watching endless, grainy YouTube videos of the man himself. And here Poppy was, a Fender - 1970s? 80s? - hanging not three feet from where she laid her head down at night. Noah forgot to be disgusted with this showy display of exorbitant wealth, so excited he was.

"How the fuck do you have this?" he asked, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. His feet carried him all the way to the edge of the bed, where he clambered onto the edge of it, his knees making grooves in the duvet as he bounced and jostled Poppy, leaning over her to playfully shake her by the shoulders.

"You've been holding out on me, Martin!" he laughed.

Being in such close proximity to Noah was starting to have an adverse effect on Poppy. While she’d tried to tell her that her crush was harmless and fun, she knew she had an affinity for coming on too strong. Unfortunately, she couldn’t help but find herself drawn to Noah more and more with each passing day, their interactions leaving her a blushing mess, always desperate for more. In truth, she had slowly started to convince herself that she was getting better at reading him. She didn’t know Noah as well as she’d like – not yet, anyway – but, on occasion, she noted the dip in his voice, that minute crack amidst all the flirting and teasing, that she often pondered over it. Was it a tell of his, perhaps an indication of nerves? She looked at him now, her cheeks flushed as his nose turned up at her words, amusement brightening his already charming features. 

Poppy felt a strange sense of pride in having made him laugh like that, warmth coursing through her chest at having coaxed such a reaction from him. He looked so sweet, staring back at her, a twinkle in his eye. His demeanor only grew sexier when he leaned in, suddenly a far cry from the teasing, playful Noah that she’d grown so accustomed, now standing hand-in-hand with her as he carefully reassured her, chased away her fears with just a few, simple words. 

Feeling more content, she twisted their fingers together, tugging him along until Noah came to a sudden halt of his own, surprising her. Beneath all the laughter and the banter, she wondered if perhaps he was as nervous as she was. 

"Hey,” Poppy murmured, lowering her voice to barely a whisper. It was just the two of them, yet her tone slipped into a softer, far gentler cadence as she angled herself ever closer to Noah. Her fingers tangled with his as she leaned in, her shoulder bumping his as she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Now it’s my turn to tell you not to be nervous.” 

She smiled sweetly at him, their faces mere inches apart, her eyes tracing each line of his handsome, perfectly chiseled face. She could lean in again right now if she wanted to, press her lips to Noah’s and feel the warm comfort of his tongue against her own. It would be simple, but she held back. Poppy always moved far too fast with guys, making all the wrong moves and misreading the situation. It was like a fine art to her at this point. 

“I’ve got you,” she repeated his words back to him. 

Slipping her hand from Noah’s, Poppy let her back hit her bedroom door, nudging it open. Stepping aside, she gestured for him to follow her inside, and immediately found herself edging towards her bed. It was a reflex, and in no way indicative of things to come, but Poppy instinctively found herself flopping down onto her plush sheets, the cosiness of her fluffy duvet feeling like a warm, much needed hug. Sprawled out, she pushed herself up onto her elbows, carefully twisting her body to face the exact corner of her bedroom that she wanted Noah to take note of first. 

Across from her pillow, the very space she stared at every night before falling asleep, was a wall adorned with memorabilia. It was one of her most prized collections, second only to the vast array of drawings and knick-knacks given to her by Hazel. Her first ever Ukulele – tiny, a now-faded yellow, and adorned with clumsy floral drawings as well as hers and Diego’s initials carved into the neck – was the centerpiece. Mounted on her wall as it was, the pint-sized instrument was surrounded by framed photos of the band, dating as far back as the day they were formed, all the way up until today. Just below the ukulele, however, was the exact piece she knew would catch Noah’s attention, and perhaps have his eyes glued to her bedroom wall for the foreseeable future. A custom made 1970’s Fender, with a sleek black body and golden accents. 

The guitar was a gift, one that had left her speechless for weeks after its arrival. Springsteen himself had not only signed the guitar but played it too. He’d shocked the entire band with his generosity both upon meeting him, and when bestowing them each with a priceless gift to remember him by. Poppy had sworn never to play it, not wanting to taint such magic with her much less seasoned fingers. 

“I’ll give you one guess who played on that,” Poppy grinned, bubbling with excitement. 

[91percentpynch]

non-binary adam parrish delivered by me, a genderqueer person

adam parrish always knew that they were different. not in the sense that they were poor and their best friends were from the richest families in west virginia. not in the sense that they grew up in a trailer park and thought for most of their yet so young life that they were unable to be known, to be loved, to be wanted.

no in the sense that they always felt like they didn’t fit in any kind of boxes. they weren’t rich enough to in in aglionby, they were too different to properly fit in their crying club. they just felt like nothing fit them.

they always thought they were a guy, using he/him pronouns because that’s how it is done. that’s how it always was, there are no other options really. and for the longest time they also didn’t really care. what do pronouns matter? they never really had anything that was theirs they never had friends that referred to them, they never had anything worth having an identity crisis over

until they did. until they found gansey and blue and noah and henry and nost importantly ronan

ronan lynch, from the moment they kissed for the first time adam knew this was a forever kind of thing

ronan lynch who’s all tough outside and sharp edges and loves so deeply and fully

ronan lynch who gave them something worth an identity crisis

the Havard Gender Crisis as adam called it affectionately started when they had to take a gender studies class for their major

it’s the first time they heard the term non-binary, the feeling of not fitting that felt so familiar to them

adam - the nerd they are - spent hours upon hours researching being non-binary and with each passing moment he felt the weight in his chest becoming lighter and lighter until they figured this is it, this is the box they finally fit in

on their research adam also learned that what is between your legs has nothing to do with your gender identity

they learned that people all over the internet put their pronouns in their bio to show support to the trans community

pronouns were a funny thing because you can use whatever makes you feel the most comfortable

they also found neo pronouns

at first they sticked with he/ him because it felt comfortable, it was a habit, it was what always been there

and maybe that was also the problem, it was always there. beaten into them.

that got them thinking and so they tried they/ them pronouns. because it felt natural, it felt like coming home, it felt like ronan’s embrace safe and sound

and that’s what they sticked with for now, maybe they’ll change them maybe not

but with the comfort came also anxiety. what if ronan would break up with them? technically they weren’t a guy anymore, even if being referred as one didn’t bother them too much

and that’s how they ended up calling ronan at 2 am, because all the inportant things, all the beautiful and terrible and good and horrible things happen at 2 am

ronan: parrish what the fuck is up with you?

adam: do you ever feel like you’re not a guy?

ronan: well i certainly am not a chick

adam: can you take this fucking serious you asshole

ronan: fuck parrish what’s up there in your pretty head?

adam: i’m non-binary. that means i’m neither a guy nor a girl, i’m simply a person.

ronan: what are your pronouns?

adam: they/them. will you break up with me now?

ronan: adam, why the fuck would i want to break up with you? seriously, entertain me

adam: cause you’re into guys and i’m not one

ronan: see that’s where you’re wrong, while i may be sexually attracted to male bodies i’m not into men. i’m into you. it’s called demiromantic and i chose you. every single day of my life i will be choosing you. no matter what your pronouns are, no matter what’s between your legs, i will always choose you. now tell me about being non-binary, i wanna know what’s going on inside your head and i wanna understand every single little thing about you

for none of the two of them sleep seemed like an option anymore. adam told ronan everything about the binary and not fitting in there and ronan listened, asked questions here and there

the next time adam came back to the barns for spring break they looked happier than ronan has ever seen them

ronan: there they are, the love of my life, the light of my existence

somehow ronan made that sound endearing and sarcastic at the same time

ronan: i thought about what you told me and i did my own research on pronouns and i think i wanna try he/ they for a while

i love you so fucking much was the only thing adam had to offer

BONUS

adam starts wearing dresses and skirts blue makes them

they wear nail polish, one of their fingers always has glitter on them for noah

they have a little pin with their pronouns next to the nb pride flag and the bi pride flag

when they came out to the gangsey they learned that blue and henry were nb as well

ronan identifies as genderqueer and goes by any pronouns expect of she/her cuz he doesn’t vibe with it

adam gets a degree in history and gender studies as well as his other degree (i’m thinking law or medicine) and writes thesis about gender identities and sexualities throughout history

adam lets their hair grow between shoulder and chin length and lets blue braid their hair

ronan refers to adam as the love of his life or joyfriend rather than boyfriend

just adam parrish being happy and in love

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 130

I am pretty excited for this chapter, not just for how it turned out but for what it sets up in the future. I don’t want to spoil it by saying anything more, but once y’all have read it, I would love to know your thoughts on it.

That said, I once again want to thank the people, coast to coast, who keep me going on this story: @the-raven-fae for being the original instigator and current podcaster of the story (check it out here!), @anotherusrname for being the best big sister a girl could ask for and for being the first person to publish any of this story in physical form (on a BLANKET no less), @baelpenrose for being my mutual beta and really egging me on more often than should probably be done, and @charlylimph-blog for... well for just being Charly. The real Charly, who is more chaotic than fictional Charly. And really, all 4 of the above for making sure I take care of myself.

“There’s some changes to the vendor list this year,” Hannah greeted as she arrived in my office.

I was still resisting the urge to cough, knowing that Noah had gotten all the chili powder out of me but nonetheless struggling against an imaginary itch in my throat.  Apparently she could tell, because she got a chai latte from the console for me as she took a seat and handed it over without acknowledging it. 

“From this list, I am going to guess that there is a huge fusion cuisine moment happening right now,” Parvati suggested.

“What gave it away? The Greek-Korean vendor, or the Brazilian-Icelandic?” Hannah joked.

I was extremely glad I had stopped sipping my latte as soon as Parvati spoke, or I would have choked on it. Yes! I thwarted the nefarious beverage! I thought to myself. “Do I even want to know how much fermented shark we are talking here?”

Parvati scrolled through her document and back to where she was, head tilted in scrutiny. “Probably not.”

“I’ll make a note to put them on the opposite end from the natto,” Hannah murmured. After doing that, she tipped her head back with a sigh. “This feels… I don’t know, empty?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, scrolling through a list of upcoming cultural seminars that we were considering.  Jokul’s suggestion to more aggressively share cultures had been a  phenomenally well-received one, and the Council had even recognized him for the way it had taken off. At this point, there were more than anyone could attend, and several requests for repeats.

My entire thought process came screeching to a halt when Hannah explained.

“We’re talking about a huge community event while also in the process of planning how to defend ourselves in the event that space pirates try to wipe out the last known members of humanity,” she pointed out. “While also being on a list of phrases I never thought to even consider being something I thought I would never say - it’s that far out there - the fact that we are still facing potential annihilation makes the Food Festival seem more like one last hurrah.  It’s kind of morbid, isn’t it?”

“I’m pretty sure the information Arthur and Charly got us demonstrated that we are more likely to be enslaved than exterminated,” Parvati added helpfully, earning a scowl from both of us. She just shrugged. “I’m just saying.”

“Yes, Vati, because that is so much better, thank you for reminding me,” Hannah quipped. “It still makes the Festival feel insignificant.”

“Maybe we should just cancel it - “

I slammed both my hands, palm down, on the table and surged to my feet. “Absolutely not.”

“Sophia - “

“No. This event is too important, we aren’t even humoring that notion.”

“I know that this is your baby, but hear us out…”

I shook my head vigorously. “I will not. This isn’t about me.” I pointed to both of them. “What you’re feeling right now? That’s exactly how nearly everyone on this ship feels. We are scared, and angry, and tilting ever closer to being despondent and just giving up. And that’s exactly why weeeee…” I gestured to the three of us, “can’t. We need stability, and something familiar, and a reminder of what it is like to live. To have fun.  To be as human as possible and stuff ourselves silly.  So if you think for one second I am going to let our own personal culinary Mardi Gras get cancelled, you are delusional.”

Hannah still looked reluctant, but Parvati’s expression changed so fast that it was actually terrifying. “You’re talking about raging against the dying of the light, aren’t you?”

There it was. The guerilla protester was starting to show.

Gracefully, she flowed to her feet, one finger tapping the side of her chin as she started pacing. “That’s an angle I don’t think we considered.” Without looking, she held up a hand to stop Hannah when the quieter woman opened her mouth to argue. “The Festival has always been about coming together, sharing, being peaceful. But, what if it isn’t this year?” She whirled, hair flying and eyes blazing. “The Festival will be two weeks into the next night cycle. We planned on soft emitters, retro style lamps and braziers for light. And we can still do that for the first two days. But day three…”

“Go all out,” Hannah ventured slowly. “Full on, wild, bright…”

“Yes! Blacklights, glow in the dark, fluorescents… Heavy bass in the music, the kind you feel in your chest more than you hear. Only the best dishes from each vendor, what they consider their finest achievements. Defiantly, loudly human.”

“Costumes encouraged?”

She scoffed. “Of course. Like those music festivals Before, only with food.  This isn’t our last hurrah, it’s going to be our rallying cry.”

Hannah seemed to be coming around to the notion, starting to nod with a focused expression on her face. “That would work. I can completely get behind that idea.  We’ll need Ivan.”

“And Charly Harper,” Parvati confirmed.

“Do tell,” I asked, not seeing where they were going with this.

“Ivan can help us with some of the metalwork we’ll need to reinforce the vendor’s booths. We want it to fit in with the theme, but still be functional.”

“And I don’t know where else to get enough glitter, or blacklight paint that doesn’t show under normal light.”

“Glitter…?” That terrified feeling was returning, and swiftly.

“So much glitter,” Parvati nodded seriously. “The kind that doesn’t set off sensory issues, and I know she has it at all times, I’ve seen it.  And flavorless food color, that stuff she uses in her ice cream and popcorn. I need all of it.”

I rubbed my temples as a headache started just from imagining what this was going to look like. She’s an artist, it will work. She’ll make it work, I know she will. “I put the Festival in your hands, you can do whatever you want except cancel it.”

“Just give Tyche a heads up so she can plan good costumes for you and the guys,” Hannah reassured, enthusiasm ignited at the idea of truly making the event their own.

The frown on my face actually gave me a cramp. “Why does someone else get to plan our costumes?”

“Because you wear really nice scrubs every day,” she pointed out without looking up.

“They’re comfy! But I’ll have you know I actually do know how to put together a costume, much less an outfit.”

Both of them eyed me skeptically, provoking a sigh of exasperation. “I am going to show you two, and you are both going to eat your words. Just wait.”  Deep down, under all the indignation, I was hugely relieved to have averted a crisis, especially since it wasn’t a matter of life and death for once.

I also could not wait to see their faces on night three.

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[lower-east-side]

“This entire team is made of toothpicks and I love them.”

I did promise to try to get y'all into the Mets, did I not? (I have @glittering-git​ listening to games with me on the roof, successssss.) For your enjoyment, a recap of the first two months of the Mets 2021 season. This one has it all: drama, injuries, disappointment, scrappy underdogs and feel-good moments. I’m writing this off the top of my head so forgive the tense switching and possible mixed up chronology.

“I’m glad the Mets exist to finally answer the question of what would happen if the Ship of Theseus was a baseball team.” (-Dick Staff.)

Start of the seaso- nope, immediately postponed b/c the Nationals had c*vid. Let's try this again.

Start of the season!  We begin with some good dudes. Jacob deGrom is arguably the best pitcher in MLB, we have some other young and veteran pitching talent as well, some returning guys that are fan favorites like Pete Alonso (famously reprimanded for using the hashtag LFGM for 'Lets Fucking Go Mets' but now everyone is using it haha suck it New York Post) and recent acquisition Francisco Lindor, who was a star with Cleveland, and who got a record 341 million dollar contract. (He's also realllly cute which is not something I usually say about sports guys nor is it something that matters but I thought I'd throw that out there.) Hopes are not super high, as there are teams with better offensive capability, but playoffs are an optimistic possibility.

But then the injuries started coming. Over the next two months 16 players would be put on the injured list. Noah Syndergaard (our other star pitcher, famously known as Thor for his long flowing blonde hair and amazing arm) started the season in rehab and his progress isn't great. Meanwhile Lindor struggled to get a hit. The fact he got so much money to do not much of anything pissed a lot of people off. (Personally I don't believe in booing your own players.) No one else was hitting well, either.

Pete Alonso invented a fictional hitting approach coach named Donnie "Diesel" Stevenson and appeared in disguise to hype up his teammates. Donnie t-shirts begin appearing. Meanwhile the actual hitting coaches were fired and replaced.

Everyone starts joking deGrom will have to drive in his own runs if he wants to win games (pitchers are generally not the best hitters, and don’t even bat in one of the two leagues.) Jokes on them - he CAN hit. Currently he has more hits than earned runs. That is INSANE for a pitcher.

Eventually we ended up with a lot of second-stringers called up off the bench... but eager to prove themselves, they actually ended up playing well! The "bench mob" is popular with fans. Lindor gets a hit - yay! - and also gets into a fight in the clubhouse with Jeff McNeil, probably over positioning in the outfield. No one knows exactly what happened, because even though it's pretty obvious *something* went down, he and McNeil decided to tell reporters that no, they weren't having a fight. They were disagreeing over what large animal Lindor saw in the clubhouse. Lindor says big New York rat, McNeil says raccoon, or maybe opossum. Literally no one believes them and it is HILARIOUS. They seem to have solved the tension on their own and I say good for them. Shirts and other merch with the rat-raccoon start to appear. They hug it out for the press.

“I can bring him out and probably give him a kiss on the cheek if you guys want," Lindor joked. "It’s just a rat, man. We good.”

Also 3rd string catcher Patrick Mazeika was called up and I've never seen a dorkier looking dude play ball. He got 3 RBIs before he ever recorded a hit (I can explain that if you really care, it’s very weird) and for some reason his shirt always gets torn off in the win celebrations.

(those glasses I just can’t)

But the popular second stringers started getting hurt as well! We called up guys from the minor leagues and THEY got hurt! We've lost 1st, 2nd, 3rd AND 4th string outfielders.  A catcher is playing first base. The bullpen is thinning out. Just when you start to like a guy, boom! He runs into a wall or pulls a muscle and that's that.

Kevin Pillar was hit in the face with a 94 mile an hour fastball. Do NOT watch the replay if you don't want to see blood. I have never seen that much blood on a baseball field in my life. 

...he showed up swollen at the field the next day and said if he could see out of his eye he'd ask to be put on the lineup. Scrappy does not begin to describe this team.

deGrom got sent down to Florida (rehab) with "tightness" and everyone held their breath - were we going to lose our biggest star? He recovered pretty fast and the Palm Beach Cardinals social media had a field day, begging the Mets to take him back as he smoked their single A team. By the time he returned to New York, he was basically backed by a minor league club anyway, with how many guys we've called up.

Alonso and McNeil were injured... Walker was injured... but every time new guys get called up they come through in clutch?! Johneshwy Fargas got to make his MLB debut at the age of 26, got his first career hit in his very first appearance, won the fans over, played 6 games, and promptly got injured. At this point there aren't a lot of guys left to call up so we traded a pitcher to the Brewers for one of their outfielders. He came in and hit a home run. Are the Mets bad luck? Are they good luck? Who knows! Alonso is already back, and Mazieka as of writing was sent back to AAA. We hardly knew him. 

On Memorial Day in AZ, Pillar returned less than two weeks after surgery from that fastball to the face and got a hit in his first at-bat. Even the other team’s fans cheered.

At this point, June 1st, the Mets are 26 and 20. They are currently leading their division.

How, I do not know.

As 'A Pod of Their Own' says, “This entire team is made of toothpicks and I love them.”

So what’s next?

As fun as the Replace-Mets are to watch, what happens when all the veterans begin returning from injuries will determine how the rest of the season goes. If they come back and suck, fans will be mad the new guys were sent back down. If the new guys are kept and THEY suck, fans will be mad the vets weren’t put back in. Lot of backseat managing going on in baseball. My gut feeling is we are headed for a bit of a slump with maybe an upswing after the All-Star break (midseason.)

So do you think the Mets will go to the playoffs, Chantal?

That's... a tough question. It is only June after all, and the rest of the NL East division isn't far behind in the standings. (Lemme know if you need divisions explained.) Any surge by one of the other teams in the NL East or a collapse on the Mets part could lead to them falling behind and not recovering, and I highly doubt they would get the wild card spot since the second best teams in the other divisions are better than the Mets. If they hold their place in the division, we could indeed see October baseball, which I think would be very exciting! I also think they would get knocked out fairly quickly. I can't see the pennant or the World Series being a possibility at all. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for division playoffs and not holding out hope for anything else, haha. (That being said, Mets fans always do keep secret wishes for A Miracle.)

Why get excited about a team you acknowledge probably won't go all the way?

Because baseball is fun! Only two months have gone by and it's already been this exciting! Each game is it's own microcosm, regardless of advancement. I personally love listening on the radio, it makes my night that much better to have Howie and Wayne on WCBS on the radio in the background as I go about whatever else I have to do. Even if you don't keep up in real time, the highlights are usually pretty WTF these days.

So with summer getting into full swing and baseball the perfect summer sport, I would welcome you all to step right up and greet the Mets. They are a fun team, there's enough spirit and luck to keep our hopes up, and enough underdog-longshot issues to keep it exciting.

(There is of course extra fun if you live close enough to catch a game, our ballpark is magical and a big red apple pops up every time they hit a home run, but I maintain that the Mets can be a team for anyone, not just New Yorkers.)

To follow: On Twitter I recommend the Mets official account, SNY Mets, The 7 Line and Deesha Thosar. I only just discovered A Pod of Their Own, so I don’t know if I can recommend it yet, but it is “A podcast by the women of amazinavenue - Mets, social justice issues in baseball, normalizing non-male voices in sports podcasting” so that seems exciting. Richard Staff is also kind of amusing if you like snark. For baseball in general, River Butcher is a comedian who has (the now concluding) Three Swings Podcast and it is VERY cool to hear a non-cis person talk sports. Amazin’ Avenue is a blog dedicated to Mets updates.

[monaownsmyass]

From Homecoming to Coming Home

Book: My Two First Loves, Chapters 35-38

Pairing: Ava Lawrence x MC (Emma Price)

Genre: Fluff? Fluff. Yeah, fluff

Rating: G, None

Word count: 3,244 (I may have gotten carried away)

A/N: Homecoming but make it Ava’s PoV since we missed most of it and MTFL is on hiatus. Also, I’m dead tired and didn’t proofread so it might be a little messy, sorry.

This was it. Today was the day. No more running, no more hiding, no more denying. I had to break up with Chad. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as I looked at myself in the mirror, my reflection staring back at me in my homecoming dress. I couldn't help but think, 'Would she think I look pretty?'.

I shook the thought out of my head before touching up my make up, wanting it to look as flawless as possible. I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I knew who I was trying to impress.

With my heart hammering out of my chest, I walked downstairs and was greeted by my parents.

"Oh, honey! You look wonderful!"

"Thank you, I'll see you guys later, love you."

"We love you too!"

Honestly, the whole exchange with my parents was a blur, I couldn't focus with all the thoughts running through my head. My anxiety was off the charts.

Am I really doing this?

I stepped into my sedan and made my way to school, thinking about everything that has happened lately. I felt bad for stringing Chad along, he was a decent enough guy but he wasn't the one I wanted. None of the boys I've been with were the ones I wanted. I always thought it was just because I haven't found 'the one' yet. I thought every girl felt like it until I overheard a few girls from cheer talking about their boyfriends and crushes. About how great it felt from just holding hands to making out. I never understood that.

But I think I do now. I know why now.

When I started dating Mason, I thought he was going to be my Mr. Perfect. He was the school's golden boy, what more could a girl ask for? I may have been a little reluctant when I asked him out but I figured I would be all over him as things went on. It didn't turn out that way. I found myself making excuses to avoid hanging out with him and every public display of affection felt more like a chore than something I wanted to do to show that I cared for him.

It didn't take me long after that to realise that my Mr. Perfect would actually be Ms. Perfect.

Emma has been my best friend since freshman year. I've always thought she looked beautiful and had a personality to match on the inside. I knew she thought I was the one that got all the boys' attention, but if only she knew she's had mine since day one. I would always get excited by the smallest things when it came to her. Something as little as a good morning text to a smile when she spotted me in the school hallway would never fail to make my day.

At first I thought it was because I've never had a best friend before. I never had anyone have my back the way she does. But whenever I saw her with Mason, it made me jealous so I thought it was because I liked Mason which was why I even asked him out in the first place.

It didn't become apparent until I started dating boys that I had it completely wrong. I guess you can imagine my confusion when I realised the feelings I was suppose to be getting from the guy I was dating was coming from my best friend instead.

I brushed it off, not wanting to even think about the possibility that I might like girls instead of guys, coming up with all sorts of reasons to avoid the inevitable reality.

The first day back to school, when I had to pick up Emma, that was the day I started really questioning myself. She looked ethereal walking down her driveway as she made her way to my car. The sunlight caught the highlights in her hair and hit her skin in a way that made her seem as if she was glowing. An angel walking among humans. My heart dropped to my stomach, partly at the revelation but mostly at the sight.

It wasn't until tonight that I finally accepted what I've been dreading for the past few months. I finally decided to embrace who I am and stop denying my feelings because everything finally made sense. Up to that very moment, when I was in the car, driving to homecoming, I've never said it aloud, but it was time.

I stopped at the red light and looked at myself in the mirror as I whispered, "I'm a lesbian." Immediately felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulder. I left out a shaky laugh as a tear rolled down my cheek. I felt free.

The word 'lesbian' used to make me flinch. It was never directed at me but it always felt like a slap in the face. It was always thrown around as a derogatory word, an insult, it was dirty and tainted. But I now know it wasn't true because the feelings I'm experiencing, the love I felt, it was pure. It's the purest thing I've known.

I didn't even realise I arrived until I was in the school parking lot. I parked my car and met Chad outside the gym. He did a double take when he saw me.

"You look gorgeous!"

I smiled at him politely in reply as we entered the building. He wasn't the one I wanted that reaction from. He wasn't the one I wanted to hear that from.

I knew I had to breakup with him tonight, I couldn't keep dragging him along like this but I just didn't know if I could. Then, I saw Emma and every doubt I had was resolved. I couldn't do this any longer, I had to call it quits as soon as I got the chance. She looked absolutely radiant. Her blue dress had a plunging neckline and was covered in sequins that glittered despite the dim lighting of the venue. It made her stand out in the crowd in a way that was absolutely captivating.

She was absolutely captivating.

My breath hitched as she caught my eye. We held glances before her eyes traveled down to my outfit. She slowly raked her eyes back up to meet mine. It may have been my imagination, but I saw her eyes widen a little and she looked slightly flustered. I smiled at her, my heart racing as I felt the butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter.

The moment didn't last long before I noticed who was standing beside her. Right, Noah was her date tonight. I couldn't help but feel disappointed that it wasn't me on her arm.

Completely forgetting that Chad was with me, he tapped me on the shoulder as I reluctantly tore my gaze away from Emma.

"Let's dance."

I gingerly accepted his outstretched hand before he lead me to the dance floor. I placed my arms around his neck, careful to leave some space between us while her held my waist. I looked around to see where Emma went and spotted her a few feet away from us. Their arms were wrapped securely around each other as her cheek rested against his chest.

A pang of envy and forlorn hit me hard in the chest. The things I'd do just to be in Noah's place. I had to remind myself I was in no place to feel this way. This is what Emma wanted, I had to respect that no matter how much it hurt. Noah's a good guy, I know he'll take care of her. That's all a best friend could ask for.

As if she could sense me looking at her, she looked straight into my eyes. Once she saw me staring, she lifted her head off of his chest and pulled back away from him slightly. A part of me leapt in bliss but the other, bigger part of me knew not to get my hopes up.

For the rest of the dance, Emma and I stole glances at each other, careful to keep distance between our respective dates. I couldn't help but wish that she'd come up to me and ask for a dance. The intensity of our gaze only became stronger the longer it went on.

In that instance, I wanted nothing more than to walk up to her and kiss her.

I watched as Noah whispered something into Emma's ear and lead her out of the gym. That jealousy I've been suppressing rose again and I knew it was time to call it quits with Chad.

I spoke over the loud music, asking him to follow me. I brought him up to the rooftop, knowing we won't be disturbed here while everyone was at the dance.

"Chad, I have to be honest with you, I think we should break up."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I just don't think it will work out," I elaborated.

"Why not?"

"Because... It's hard to explained. I... I've figured some things out about myself," I said cautiously.

"Is it Mason? Be honest, was he a better kisser?" He looked crestfallen.

"It's not that. Even with Mason, I've never felt... Never mind," I sighed.

Perplexed, he spoke, "I don't get it."

"Chad," This was harder than I thought it was going to be but keeping Emma's face in mind, I pushed through. "We both deserve to be someone's first choice. And I know you're not mine."

"What's that supposed to mean? If not Mason then who?"

Emma Price.

"I'm sorry, but we're done."

I turned to go back to down to the dance, leaving him alone on the rooftop.

I hung around the dance for a short while, mingling with my cheer squad and a few friends even though I was in low spirits. I was hoping to catch Emma but I haven't seen her since I saw her leave with Noah. Defeated, I decided to go back home.

As I was pulling out of the parking area, I saw her. The girl that made me question everything, the girl I could always count on, the girl that commanded the room even without realising, my best friend.

My first love.

She looked as sad as I felt. I rolled down my window and asked, "Need a ride?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"To me? Always," I joked. "Get in, loser."

We drove in silence but from the corner of my eye, I could see her trying to think of something to break it.

"Ava, I'm sorry about everything," she finally said, voice soft and slow.

Even just the tone of her voice was enough for my heartbeat to pick up.

Unsure how to respond, I replied, "Yeah... And I'm sorry about Mason and Noah. Sounds like a mess..." My voice started wavering at the end of the sentence, knowing I'm not one of her choices. I just hoped she didn't catch it.

"I know I shouldn't been leading both on, it's like I don't even know my own heart."

I exhaled loudly, "I know what that's like," I paused. "I... I think I've been lying to myself for a long time about who I am. About what I want."

I glanced at her again and she was looking at me intently. I continued, "And... and I need to be honest to you now too."

I saw her breath catch in her throat, as if she knew what I was about to confess.

"I thought once I started dating guys, I'd get what the whole fuss was about. But I realised... I realised I learnt something completely different."

We pulled up to her house and I placed my hand over hers. Heat spread from the tips of my fingers where we touched to my entire body. As I felt her soft, gentle hand under mine, my heart pounded when I looked up into her alluring brown eyes. I could stare at them forever.

This was it, I should tell her how I feel. My mind screamed, 'I like you!' but my mouth said, "I'll walk you out."I sighed.

We stepped out of the car and made our way down her driveway. I've walked this driveway countless of times over the past few years but something in the air tonight felt different. Hope. Longing. A magnetic pull between the two of us. I shot her a look and it was then I knew I wasn't making it up.

We stopped at her doorstep before facing her and for the first time, it felt like I was really looking at her. The moonlight illuminated her stunning face as I took in the heavenly sight of her standing before me. The slope of her nose, the softness of her cheeks, the way the light was reflecting off her eyes, making them shine and how her lips were slightly parted as she looked back at me. All at once, the realisation of how I've always been in love with her came crashing down on me. And I knew she was thinking the same.

I've never felt like this. It was startlingly thrilling.

I watch memories flash before her eyes as realisation dawn on her as well. I thought back to all those small memories we've shared together during the past few years. Sharing a milkshake, walking down the sidewalk with our arms linked, laughing at the dumb things we do together, dancing in her room like no one was watching, staying up to watch the sunrise together, falling asleep in each other's lap during movie nights, joking about ditching boys and dating each other instead. I thought I was joking at that time but I think a part of me deep down has always wished it was true.

It was these little moments that made me fall for Emma. It just took me some time to put it all together and understand that my feelings weren't shameful. No, it was divine.

Without realising, I whispered aloud, "I feel like, for the first time in a while... I finally get it... I see everything so clearly..."

Subconsciously, we both moved closer to each other. We were so close, I could feel her soft breath tickle my skin. Her lips were only a few inches away from mine and if my heart we're to beat any faster, I'm sure I'd pass out.

She leaned in a little more closer and I swear I was dreaming... until she pulled back a bit, leaving me a little disappointed.

"Ava... I...," she struggled to find her words. "With Mason and Noah... I just..."

I took a slow step back and raised a hand to stop her.

"It's fine," I said with a rueful smile. I could feel my heart ache. "I understand, it's overwhelming." I took a deep breath and continued. "I just think you should know I really like you. Goodbye, Emma."

I turned back to head to my car when I felt her warm hand reached out to grab mine. The way her fingers laced through mine felt familiar and comforting. It was perfect.

I glanced at our intertwined fingers and back up into her eyes, looking sure. She knew what she wanted too.

She tugged me closer to her and the whole universe slowed down for us, as if making sure this was what we wanted before we did something we would regret. The way she was watching me made me feel as if I've finally been seen and we both knew no matter what would happen, how things would turn out, we'd always have this moment.

It felt like it took forever but when she finally crashed her lips against mine, everything sped back up in time with my heartbeat. Adrenaline coursed through our bodies as we clung on to each other, afraid we'd disappear into the oblivion we've created around us.

Years of longing and passion and mutual attraction was was poured into that kiss and for the first time in months, I finally felt alive. The way she wrapped an arm around my waist with the other hand gripping my hair gently made me understand what all those girls were always talking about. I get it now, I understood why people can't seem to keep their hands off of each other in the hallways because I never wanted this to end, it was wonderfully exhilarating, euphoric. It wasn't a myth, it was magic.

It was wasn't like how any of my other kisses with guys felt either. They were all forced, something I did just for the sake of it. I never liked the way their stubble beard scratched my skin or how their rough hands gripped my hips. The way their cologne filled up my nose always made me gag.

This kiss was nothing like that.

It was everything I imagined it would be and more.

Its the feeling you get when you're at the peak of the roller coaster, seconds before it drops or when you lean too far back on a chair and you think you're gonna fall. It's when your heart stops beating for a second and then it starts again it only for it to pump rapidly as if you've ran a marathon and you feel absolutely breathless. I felt like I was on fire.

I held her smooth cheeks in my palms as I kissed her desperately. 'This is how much I want you', the kiss conveyed, 'this is how long I've waited for you'. With all the passion in my body and soul, I kissed her as I got high off the scent of her perfume.

She was the first to break the kiss but I pulled her back into me, not wanting it to be over so soon. She was utterly intoxicating and I couldn't get enough of her.

She started giggling and that's when I pulled back.

"Have I mentioned how stunning you look tonight?" she asked with a small, infectious smile.

"You look pretty damn good yourself, Ms. Price," I laughed with her.

I embraced her tightly, and she reciprocated, the both of us just holding each other under the moonlight for a few minutes, listening to our breaths become even and stable once again.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I whispered into her hair.

"That sounds amazing," she breath out.

After one last peck on the lips, I waited for Emma to enter her house, waving her goodbye. I made my way back to my car and just sat there for a moment, taking all of it in. I smiled to myself like an idiot, just sitting there while I replayed what just happened in my head. I was trying to control my heartbeat when I heard my phone go off. My heart rate picked up again as I saw it was from Emma.

'Also, I really like you too :)'.

My heart was so full, I thought it would burst in ecstasy.

I clutched my phone to my chest, smiling bigger than I thought possible when I heard it go off again.

'I can still see you outside, go home, weirdo :P'.

I let out a small laugh as I looked out my car window and into her bedroom's. I saw her smiling at me while shaking her head.

What she didn't know was she is my home. She has been for a while. Now it's time I try to become her's.

(More fics!)

[lawandorderimagines]

SVU Squad With a Detective Who Has a Soft Girl Aesthetic (fem reader)

@infiniteoddball   @storiesofsvu 

“Hey guys, I’m going on a food run. Anyone want anything?” You offered to pick up Chinese food from the place down the street and you wrote the orders down on a piece of purple notebook paper and grabbed your coat and bag before getting on the elevator. Once the elevator doors closed, Amanda collapsed into her chair; it was a surprisingly slow day at Special Victims Unit and all anyone had to do were mountains of paperwork. “Well, she seems... nice,” the blond detective offered. You had only been at SVU for only a few weeks after transferring out of Vice and Olivia had you partner up with Amanda, and while she thought you were nice, she also felt that there was something off about you.

And apparently, Olivia and Fin felt the same way. Fin was the first to break the awkward silence. “Are we sure this is one of the best officers in Vice? She doesn’t look like a cop. She’s too... soft.” “C’mon guys, she’s young, just give her time to mature a little bit. Her captain back in Vice said she’s young, but shows a lot of potential. And you gotta admit, she’s one hell of a runner,” Olivia responded in your defense. Truthfully, the Captain loved your presence at SVU and thought you were a breath of fresh air, even if you are a little unconventional in your ways.

“I’m just sayin’, I ain’t ever seen a rookie write notes in glitter gel pens or have pink and purple office supplies,” replied Fin. Amanda looked over at your desk and indeed, there were pastel colored office supplies. There was lavender desk calendar that took up a good amount of space on your desk with important dates scribbled on, a baby pink cup that held pens, pencils and markers in various colors, and finally, the sky blue tray that held papers and a confetti stapler. Amanda knew that in the drawers there would be pastel mini notepads and notebooks. She thought it suited you, not that she was gonna say that out loud.

Meanwhile, you sat at a table waiting for your number to be called. You passed the time by coordinating plans with your mom and younger sister for the holidays that were coming up; the two of you would be spending them in France with your dad and new stepmother. When your number was called, you paid with a fifty dollar bill and smiled in thanks to the woman who handed you the brown paper bag. Winter was clearly in full effect in New York as you gripped your jacket tighter with your free hand. Riding up in the elevator, you checked the messages you might have missed from your walk back to the precinct; your flight confirmations for you and your sister, your sister dropping subtle “hints” about her presents, and your mom complaining about grandma’s new beau which you just rolled your eyes at.

When the elevator dinged open, you expected to see the squad still sitting at their desks flipping between paperwork but they were gone. Did a call come through? You saw that the blinds to Liv’s office were down, maybe you’d peek your head in just to make sure, but then you heard voices. “I know Y/N isn’t what we’re used to but she’s doing a great job so far. And besides, we need all the help we can get,” Olivia said, and she sounded tired. They’re talking about you.

You felt bad for listening in on their conversation, but at the same time, you were curious as to what everyone thought about you, that is until it was Fin’s turn to talk. “She seems like she’ll be better suited for a kindergarten classroom.” You automatically knew he was referring to your desk and wardrobe choices and you looked down to examine your outfit: a white striped turtleneck, a pair of jeans, and the diamond half moon shaped necklace. Seemed innocent enough. Then you heard your partner laugh. 

“She dresses like an off duty Disney princess.” You felt your eyes prick with tears and willed them back; Disney princesses were pretty badass in your book. You decided you heard enough and knocked a little too loudly on the door, it would be better if you acted as if you hadn’t heard anything. “I’m back! Come and get it!” You pulled your container of egg drop soup and brought it to your desk and got a bottle of tea with some of the change in your pocket. For the next twenty minutes, you switched in between the family group chat and writing off paperwork. You didn’t speak to anyone either as the classical ballet music flowed from your headphones to your ears.

After three hours, Olivia declared that it was getting late and she had to get home to Noah, so now it was just you, Amanda and Fin. You were finally on the last page and you were just about to fill in the blank spaces when someone cleared their throat. You didn’t care about anything except finished your work so you could get home; you had already missed dinner, pizza night, and your mom texted you that she saved two slices for you. “Y/N, you got a minute?” It was Fin, and he and Amanda were standing at your desk; you quickly paused the music that was playing and yanked the earbuds out.

“Sure. What about?” There was only one last section and it wouldn’t even take you long to complete, plus you were tired and wanted to get home, wash the day off, get into your favorite pair of pjs and watch the late night Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark Channel. “About what you heard earlier... we didn’t mean anything by it.” You snorted; isn’t that what they all say when they get caught? A part of you was telling you to let it go, keep the peace, but another part was telling you to choose violence, and you decided to go with the latter.

“Of course you did, you just didn’t mean for me to hear any of it. It’s fine. I look like an off duty princess, like I belong in a kindergarten classroom. Nothing I haven’t heard before. Anything else?” You said all of this in a bored voice, like your parents were lecturing you for staying out all night without calling. You knew that you weren’t a typical New York detective and you took pride in that. You liked writing your notes down in colored gel pens (the pink and purple pens are your favorites) in your pastel mini notepads because you think they look pretty and nice, and the items on your desk are mostly pastel colors. With all the shit you’ve seen in just your first week at SVU, you wanted to look at pretty things and thought the victims might too after the horrific stuff they experienced, and anyway, Olivia didn’t have a problem with you writing in glitter gel pens as long as they weren’t official documents.

You always dressed in light colors because it meant that perps wouldn’t suspect you as a cop while undercover, something you learned during your time in Vice. Plus, it made you feel good so you kept on doing it. The criminals felt they could trust you. “Look, we’re gonna be working together for a long time so we might as well be honest with each other, right?” They both nodded and you stapled the pages together and put them in the tray. “Great! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have two slices of pizza and a Golden Girls marathon on Hallmark Channel with my name on it. See you Monday!” 

You grabbed your coat and started packing your tablet/iPad and putting it in your backpack then reached for your wallet for your metro card; your train would arrive in fifteen minutes, and it was a short walk to the subway station. “Do you want me to give you a ride home? It’s a little too cold to be waiting for the subway,” Amanda offered. “Are you sure? I live a far ways out.” More like twenty minutes away, way too far from Amanda’s apartment. It usually takes you forty five minutes to get home every night; thirty five minute ride plus ten minutes of walking to your building.

“Sure. I have to be in that area anyway,” she answered. You decided to take her up on the offer, after all you just saved over two dollars, money you can put towards moving out of your mom’s place. Turns out, Amanda was better than any Uber driver and she had a better selection of music: lots of 90s and Y2K pop hits and you were in your neighborhood in no time when you realized she was pulling up to your building. “Thanks again Amanda, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. And Y/N? I really am sorry about the way I behaved earlier. We’re adults, it was wrong of me, and I never should’ve said that stuff. Can you forgive me?” Amanda sounded sincere, and you could see it in her eyes that she really was sorry. “Of course. See you Monday?” She smiled, and with that, you shuffled quickly into the brightly lit lobby of you building. You hoped that this would be the start of a new page.

[storiesofsvu]

Fortuitous Reunion was the first fic I read by you and I’ve been a dedicated fan ever since

Omfg….I literally had an entire fucking thing typed up and then realized that you said Fortuitous Reunion and I don’t know why but my brain looked at it and went “ah yes….Brazen Qualities….” 🤦🏼‍♀️

FR is just the softest fucking thing ever, I listened to SO much Buble while I wrote it, and definitely decided that “You Make Me Feel So Young” is *their* song. Also I am dying to go to River Cafe….it’s so fucking pretty…someone get me to NYC plz….

I lowkey wanted to have a little bit more of Olivia & yn hanging out/getting to know each other before I wrapped the fic up, but it just didn’t really fit the way I wanted it to. Also when I started writing it I had no idea I was going to pull William Lewis into it…but it fit, it worked, and you can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have gone after Olivia’s young adult daughter if she existed in canon.

An unwritten follow up would definitely include yn babysitting for Sophie & Sonny and having Noah over and Rita comes home and is just all “why the hell are there children in my apartment.” And yn’s just like, sitting on the floor in a pile of glitter surrounded by colouring supplies and craft supplies and she’s all “baby! We made you a card too!” And Rita can’t help but not be mad because yn’s just way too fucking cute (and she has to admit…she looks real good with a baby on her hip…)

[shining-red-diamond]

Shallow Waters (Part III)

Words: 1.2k

Pairing: Hendery x Brittany (OC)

Rating: PG-15

Genre: fluff, some angst

Warnings: none

Hendery was fascinated by all of the bright colors and glittering lights the carnival had to offer. Some booths had different games humans were participating in, some stuffed toys hung from their ceilings, and food stands were around every corner. There were a few roller coasters, but it was nothing drastic. It was mainly a large Ferris wheel and a couple of fast rides. Hendery felt as if he were at a city festival.

“It’s cool, isn’t it?” Brittany smiled upon seeing his eyes light up as a child at DisneyWorld.

“Beautiful,” Hendery declared.

The two walked around the carnival riding a couple rides and eventually having some curly fries, which Hendery fell in love with because of its salty texture. Hendery had only ever watched events like these from afar but was always too nervous to make an attempt to sneak in. He was scared his teeth might freak other people out; Brittany reassured him that people in the area got body implants and modifications, so he wasn’t the sore thumb at the carnival.

After a few rides and chowing down on the curly fries, Brittany suggested two last rides to allow their food to settle.

“They’re both slow ones,” she explained as they tossed their empty food baskets in the trash bin, “so our stomachs won’t be slingshot around.”

Hendery nodded and pointed towards a large tunnel ride at the edge of the beach. A few couples were lined up to board two-person boats painted shades of pink with red and white accents. Hearts for alternating sizes lined the front of the boats and stretched all the way around towards the sides. Soft romantic music played in the background as guests were seated by an attendant in a baby pink vest.

“Tunnel of Love,” Brittany chuckled.

“It looks pretty,” Hendery smiled.

They both liked each as more than friends, and they knew it; but Brittany was nervous of how things will turnout if they take the ride. Would they feel weird? Would they just resort to just being friends? She wasn’t sure. However, she decided to just put her big girl pants on and take the chance.

The two stepped into one of the pink boats and carefully sat down. The water pulled them through the dark tunnel, and as they rode along the first scene they came upon was a bunch of hearts and pink neon lights with “All You Need is Love'' playing in the background. The walls were painted pink and red, and throughout the ride, multiple love scenes from various popular films were performed by animatronics. Johnny and Baby from Dirty Dancing were posed in the famous lift from the final dance scene, Jack and Rose’s “I’m king of the world” moment in Titanic, and even Allie and Noah’s kiss in the rain from The Notebook was displayed.

Hendery’s attention was taken by a wall painted black with miniature lights to mimic a starry night. Fake willow trees hung over two figures leaning towards each other as if they were about to kiss. From the vivid red hair and bright blue bow on the female figure, Brittany knew it was the “Kiss the Girl'' scene from The Little Mermaid.

“That was my favorite movie growing up,” she smiled.

“What is it?” Hendery asked as he made eye contact with her again.

“The Little Mermaid. It’s about a mermaid named Ariel who trades her voice for legs, so she can see the human world. She also falls in love with a human prince.”

Hendery frowned. “Ariel shouldn’t have to give up something to be in the human world.”

A chuckle escaped from Brittany’s mouth. “There’s more to the story, but she does get her voice back and marry the prince at the end. We’ll have to watch it sometime. I think you’d like it.”

“Hendery didn’t have to give up anything to meet Brittany,” he stated with his arms crossed.

Brittany lightly scoffed. “Hollywood has their own way of portraying different stories, but you’re right, you didn’t give up anything.”

The last stretch of the ride showed the elevator kiss scene from Romeo+Juliet. The mannequin’s had obviously seen better days as Romeo’s blonde locks were messy, and Juliet’s angel wings were crooked and a little yellow; but Brittany still played that scene over and over again in her head and finding herself picturing it as her and the man sitting next to her.

“What are they doing?” Hendery asked, his eyes fixed on the mannequins.

“Kissing,” Brittany replied matter-of-factly. “You kissed my hand, but they’re kissing each other’s lips.”

“Why?”

“Mostly, it’s how couples express their love for each other.”

Hendery stared back at the scene as they passed it, wondering how kissing another pair of lips would feel, specifically Brittany’s. Yet, he wasn’t sure if it was too soon to do so, and he respected the girl he was falling for so much. He wasn’t going to do anything without her consent.

The boat returned to the entrance, and Hendery helped Brittany out of the boat.

“Shall we finish our evening with the Ferris Wheel?” she asked in a humorous manner as they headed towards a giant, colorfully lit wheel in the center of everything.

“How high does it go?” the merman chuckled as he stared at it.

“It’s about sixty feet tall, but if you’re not a fan of heights we can just head home.”

Hendery held her hand. “Hendery has dove into many bodies of water from the tallest cliffs. He can handle a tall wheel.”

Brittany smiled with a nod, and they were able to climb into the car by themselves. The two sat shoulder to shoulder to where she let him wrap an arm around her. Romantic, she thought as the car ascended. Hendery looked over the railing and smiled at the view below him.

“The ocean is so beautiful from the sky,” he chuckled gleefully.

Glancing in his line of sight, Brittany nodded. She found herself staring at him. His face. His lips. How she wanted to kiss that beautiful mouth! She felt that want of that romantic trope of having your first kiss on the Ferris wheel, but Hendery was too busy watching as they ascended and descended on the giant wheel. Little did she know that the merman would stare at her when she wasn’t looking, and he was feeling certain desires he had only discussed with her briefly. He wanted to kiss her.

Once they were able to get off, they walked the five minute journey home. The moon was high in the sky as its luminescence danced on top of the ocean waves. A multitude of stars twinkled, and everything was calm and peaceful as Hendery and Brittany walked hand-in-hand.

“A kiss how humans do,” Hendery blurted out his thoughts.

“I’m sorry?” Brittany jumped at his voice breaking the silence.

“What does it mean?”

“Well, kisses can have lots of meanings,” she explained. “They all are a sign of love, but it’s different with who is receiving and giving them. When a mother or a father kisses their child, it’s a parental type of love shown. A greeting kiss is more typical in European countries. When couples kiss, it’s typically a sign of romantic affection. I’m the best at explaining things, but I hope that made sense.”

Hendery pulled her close and whispered in her ear, “Hendery understands.”

Brittany said nothing but smiled.

“Can Brittany show Hendery how?” the merman requested.

Staring into his eyes, Brittany held Hendery’s cheek and pulled him closer before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. For the first time in his life, Hendery felt his heart beating rapidly as new sensations took over his body. He was in love with her, and she with him.

-

Tagging: @dearyongs @mafia-nct​ @ezralia-writes​ @jaekissd​ @queen-of-himbos​ @neocitybyday​ @daybreakx​ @lilhwahwa​ @hongism​ @fantasywayv​ @dreamystuffers​​ @the32ndbeat​ @philosopher-of-fandoms​

[girloikawa]

because im convinced noah isn’t very fond of adam, here’s noah & adam headcannons for the soul:

deep in the night, when adam is studying atop st agnes, noah pops up. “you should go to sleep.” adam, very sleepy, “you should go to sleep” “I’m dead” “oh right”

noah wanted to make his own snow globe, so he recruits blue and adam for the matter. blue for the decorative sense, adam for the mechanical sense. in short, glitter gets everywhere, so blue goes to get something to clean it up with, adam and noah left alone. adam: “sorry for spilling the glitter, I forgot it was there.” noah, near blue so he was physically there, got up to hug adam. “you don’t need to apologize, I know it was an accident.” it really struck adam because he realized that someone else was how much he apologized for stupid things

before they could get close, though, they had this conversation:

“why are you scared of me,” adam asked. “I don’t understand you” “doesn’t mean you have to be afraid of me” “yes it does” “then...try to understand me”

at monmouth, the four boys are just hanging out, ronan listening to some angry music (adam assumed), gansey reading some history thing on the mannerisms of knights (adam assumed), noah staring out the window, and adam doing homework. noah grew bored, so he went over to adam. “do you need help?” adam just looked at him. noah said, “you do remember that I went to the same school as you” “yeah but...” “but I died?” “...yeah...” noah pulled out a chair, saying, “then teach me” so now adam was noah’s teacher for no other reason than it was a nice source of review and they happened to like each other’s company

this time, adam went to noah. he was in distress over ronan and his feelings for adam, and how adam didn’t know his feelings for ronan. noah sensed it by the look on adam’s face, so he said, “you’re freaking out.” adam slumped into the couch, no one was there except noah and him. “yeah, I’m...yeah” “why?” “ronan.” “oooooh, so you’ve noticed,” he laughed, “finally.” “how long have you known?” “since? the beginning???” “what?” “yeah. at first I was worried, you know, for ronan, but now...I’m not all that worried.” adam had no clue what he meant by that, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to, so he didn’t ask

“I don’t like how you don’t take care of yourself.” it come out of nowhere, like most things noah. “I don’t like you showing up in the middle of the night to scold me on my sleeping habits” “if you go to sleep now, I’ll come over half as much” “fine,” adam said, getting into bed. let’s just say, noah came back twice as much

now that noah was coming back more, he accidentally walked in on ronan on adam’s floor, both sleeping soundly. he left with a smile on his face

noah occasionally stops by at adam’s work. his justification was that he had nothing else to do. (“you could bother ronan, I know for a fact that he’s not doing anything” “but that’s boring too”)

once, “what’s your favorite color of glitter?” “as opposed to...my regular favorite color?” “oh thank goodness, you get it! yes! my favorite color is yellow, but my favorite glitter color is pink! when I asked ronan, he flipped me off.” noah definitely misunderstood why adam asked the question, but he wasn’t about to correct him, so he thought it over. “well, my favorite color is green, but I guess black glitter is pretty nice. yeah, black glitter.” noah smiled. “because ronan wears black?” “what- I- no-” “bye!” he disappeared, leaving behind a stuttering adam. “noah!

another time, “what’s this?” “that? oh that’s—that’s nothing! don’t worry about it!” “did you buy hand cream? good job taking care of yourself, adam, I’m so proud of you!” adam didn’t tell him the truth

and another, “I have a secret,” noah said. “really? you’re so...transparent.” bursting out laughing, noah continued. “okay, okay, nice ghost pun, but I’m serious. I have a confession to make.” adam was starting to get concerned. “what is it?” “promise not to get mad?” “yes, I promise” “okay, well...me and blue kissed” adam was surprised to say the least. “when?” “when you were together. pleasedonthateme. she was curious and she knew kissing me wouldn’t kill me because I’m dead so yeah sorry” it was a lot to take in, but all adam said was, “okay,” and it really was

after noah died, adam said to gansey, “he probably could’ve made a high score on the SAT, you know” and then he started to cry

[vespertine-legacy]

Unmade (a Brontes/Eleison playlist)

(listen on spotify)

track details under the cut

VILLAIN - K/DA

I'm alive, but I'm dead Hear my voice up in your head Watch it fill you full of dread 'til you go Is it really a surprise if I'm playing with your mind? | In control That's how I like it and I'm never letting go Never had a soul So you ain't taking nothing from me when you go

[look, let’s be very clear: the story of Eleison and Brontes is about unrepentant villain-fucking with a side of hurt/comfort]

Shadow Preachers - Zella Day

You make we wanna love, hate, cry, take, every part of you You make me wanna scream, burn, touch, learn, every part of you I close my eyes, just close the door You want a minute, I'll give you more Maybe I don't want you either We're both unsettled, nighttime creatures Shadow preachers, nighttime creatures

[They challenge and frustrate the hell out of each other but they also just want all of each other. Eleison finds the darkest parts of herself in wanting Brontes, and she should know well enough to be scared of that.]

Surrender - Digital Daggers

Sweet despair feel you devour me Silently, oh won't you carry me Home Taken down I give into what I can't disguise I surrender, I surrender Broken down, I give into what I can not have I surrender, I surrender

[You’d think this is just from the perspective of the Innocent Assassin Librarian being ravished by the threatening Dread Master, but they are both terrified of the other in their own way]

First Defeat - Noah Gunderson

You've got a lot of nerve Half naked in my bed, you said This will be the last time

[I’ll bet every time Brontes ends up in Eleison’s bed she says it’ll be the last time]

All the Thing She Said - t.A.T.u.

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed They say it's my fault but I want her so much Want to fly her away where the sun and rain Come in over my face, wash away all the shame When they stop and stare, don't worry me 'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

[Look, I hate how much I love this song to explain what Eleison feels for Brontes, leave me alone, I was a wee baby lesbiab figuring out my Feelings in the early 2000s]

Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars

You only know what I want you to I know everything you don't want me to Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine You think your dreams are the same as mine Oh I don't love you but I always will

[This one just hit me for them tbh]

War of Hearts - Ruelle

I can't help but be wrong in the dark 'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts

[I’m waffling, but pretty sure this is Brontes being a poetic little bitch who wants to act like she’s above having Feelings]

Let Go For Tonight - Foxes

I wanna drive, I wanna drive into the open Looking for reasons I can't find So I call your name, the only thing I know Is I need you here, will you be gone forever All that I know, all that I know Is we're here tonight

[some themes of abandonment here, lads]

Beautiful Crime - Tamer

We fight every night for something When the sun sets, we're both the same Half in the shadows Half burned in flames We can't look back for nothin' Take what you need, say your goodbyes I gave you everything And it's a beautiful crime

[oh, but they didn’t say goodbye]

Diamonds - Sam Smith

Shake it off Shake the fear of feeling lost Always me that pays the cost I should never trust so easily You lied to me Lie-lied to me Then left with my heart 'round your chest Take all the money you want from me Hope you become what you want to be Show me how little you care How little you care, how little you care You dream of glitter and gold My heart's already been sold Show you how little I care How little I care, how little I care

[there’s a point where their relationship is very much not healthy - not enough communication, not enough trust, as Brontes and the other Masters lose themselves in the Phobis devices with their single-minded desire to go to war after the Emperor’s failure]

Leave the Door Wide Open - Black English

There she goes She's leaving town beside a man she hardly knows And then she calls me, he broke her heart Now she's collecting all the pieces of her love before the light gets dark Don't worry if it's a cold night Cause we all go up in in flames We fall heavy but we're, we're so light So leave the door wide open | And now she's tearing out her mind You watch her do this every time But you still wonder how she is That convoluted happiness

[Eleison might be a little upset at losing Brontes without explanation when the Masters leave, and finding out that they were captured by the Republic and imprisoned is pretty sucky. I’d like to think that Eleison would blame Raptus, as the de facto leader of the Masters for things falling to shit, and feel a sense of loathing for him because even though Brontes is connected to him (and the other Masters) through the Phobis devices, none of them truly know each other, because they don’t allow much in the way of true emotional connection to each other. Then Eleison misses the chance to be the one to free them on Belsavis. Then the Masters find out that the Emperor is, well, you know… the Emperor. And they lose Styrak and become madder and madder, retreating to Oricon intent on self-destruction and bringing the galaxy down with them.]

Start A War - Klergy, Valerie Broussard

So you wanna start a war In the age of icons So you wanna be immortal With a loaded gun So you wanna start a war My God, my God If history is dead and gone Then how did we get here

[Brontes et al want to start a Dread War, already down one Master? You wanna start a war? Start it. Eleison will finish it.]

Devils Don’t Fly - Natalia Kills

And when I'm gone, remember you're the one And just because I fight don't mean that I never learned how to love You know devils don't fly So don't expect me not to fall Devils don't fly But God we almost had it all But I got chains and you got wings You know that life ain't fair sometimes Devils don't fly But I try

[I listened to this song while outlining my fic!version of the Fortress fight and hurt myself a lot have in my margin notes: RedBull Dread Alchemy gives you wiiiiiiings, someone take away my marginalia rights]

Black Sea - Natasha Blume

You rise, I fall I stand, you crawl You twist, I turn Who's the first to burn? You sit and stay I don't obey

[Fortress Fight - join or die, Brontes sees no other options but for them to destroy each other]

[bitter-sweet-farmgirl]

Oath

This one is a bit different since I wrote it from like a third person perspective, but yet it still felt like a first person perspective since I was still writing from the character’s point of view as well.

A Middle Earth version of the dystopian movie ‘Noah’.

MASTERLIST

OC(s) Used:  Loka, Estelle, Lorelei

Word Count:  3,667

Translation(s): Gehyith:  Young Dove

Amrâlimê:  My love

Ghivasheluh:  My treasure of all treasures

Âzyungal:  Love of all Loves

Agnât'nana':  Sister-in-law

Nâtha:  Daughter

Zain abnâmal:  Beautiful woman

Irakdashat:  Nephew

~~~

Thorin paced the hall, waiting for the Hobbit to return from the depths of Erebor.  What took him so long?  Surely he would have found the Arkenstone by this time.  Unless, he was stealing away some of the gold for his own...  That deceitful Hobbit, he should never have let him go down into the treasure hoard by himself...

"Oakenshield," a soft, velvety voice purred from the shadows, making Thorin place a hand on the hilt of his sword, startled.

"Who's there?"  He questioned, his deep voice echoing as his steely blue eyes searched the pitch-dark corners of the stony cavern.  "Show yourself!"  

"Do not be impatient, Oakenshield..."  The voice purred, and a tall, dark-haired man emerged from the shadows, dressed in a style of richness Thorin had never seen before.  The man seemed to reflect the light, and walked with a grace he had never associated with man.

"Who are you?"  Thorin questioned again, making the man smile, revealing perfect white teeth.  

"A messenger from Smaug.  He wants to strike a deal with you."  The man said, voice quiet and oily.  Thorin's brow furrowed, and he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword.   The man noticed this and laughed softly.  "Relax, Oakenshield.  I think you will like the terms."

"I will decide that for myself after I have heard them."  Thorin rumbled, watching this strange man carefully.  There was something he didn't quite trust about him.

"Smaug will give you Erebor, all the gold within its halls," here the man paused, scrutinizing Thorin's expression closely, "and the Arkenstone."  At the mention of the Arkenstone, Thorin's eyes glittered strangely in the dim lighting, and the hand resting on his sword relaxed slightly.  

"In return for what?"  He asked quietly, "what does Smaug require?"  

A little smile crossed the strange man's face as he watched Thorin.  "A simple thing really, just a trifle..."  He murmured, looking down at his clothing and brushing away an imaginary crease.

"What?"  Thorin demanded, stepping closer and beginning to draw his sword from its sheath.  "Tell me."

"Smaug requires the next daughter born into the Line of Durin.  Really quite a simple exchange, don't you think?"  He said, smirking.

Thorin thought over his words, the gleam in his eyes fading as his brow furrowed.  "The next daughter born into Durin's Line?  Why would Smaug--"  He began to question, but the man interrupted him.

"The Arkenstone, Erebor and all its gold, in exchange for a girl.  Is a girl more important than the Arkenstone?  There will always be more girls, but there is only one Arkenstone, Oakenshield.  Make your decision."  He said quietly, and the gleam returned to Thorin's eyes.

"It is done.  The next daughter born into Durin's Line in exchange for Erebor, its gold, and the Arkenstone."  He said, reaching out to shake the man's hand.  It was strangely slick and cold within his grasp, but Thorin paid no attention to it.  The only thing on his mind was the Arkenstone, shining in all its glory.

~~~~

Several months later....

"Uncle!"  The call had Thorin stopping his work in the forge, turning around to see his nephew Fílí and his wife Loka approaching.  By their side was his own beautiful wife, Estelle.  All three of them wore wide, beaming smiles.

"Fílí, Loka," Thorin said, nodding to each of them as they stopped before him.  "What brings you to the forges?"  He asked curiously, noting the way Fílí had his arm around Loka's waist, keeping her close to him.  

Loka's smile grew and she looked towards the ground, biting her lip as she smiled a secret smile, making Fílí chuckle softly as he gazed at her with adoring blue eyes.  Thorin was confused by their behavior and turned to look at Estelle as she stood by his side.  "Gehyith, what is it that has you all acting so strange?"  He asked, and she smiled at him.

"It is not my place to tell, Thorin.  Just let them speak."  She murmured, and Thorin raised an eyebrow, turning to look back at his nephew before him.

Fílí took a deep breath, glancing at Loka for a moment before he began to speak.  "Uncle, Loka and I have some wonderful news we would like to share with you..."  He started, trailing off as Loka laid a hand on his arm.

"Thorin, I am with child."  She said, beaming excitedly at him.  Thorin felt his heart drop out of his chest.  Then he remembered the jewel that haunted his dreams, calling to him constantly.  A smile grew on his bearded face, and he opened his arms wide.

"That indeed is wonderful news!  If the child is a girl, she will have a great purpose.  I have never told you why Erebor was reclaimed so easily...  Smaug gave it and pledged the Arkenstone to me in exchange for the next girl born into the Line of Durin."  Thorin said, and a look of horror grew on Fílí and Loka's faces.

"Uncle!  No!"  Fílí cried, looking at his Uncle with a mixed expression of horror and disbelief on his features.  "You can't do that with our child!  I will not let you!"  He said, drawing Loka up against his chest and holding her tight against him, a hand tangling in her dark locks.

Estelle looked at Thorin with a pleading expression.  "Amrâlimê, how could you exchange a baby for Erebor?  A baby!"  She said, but Thorin didn't look at her.

"I did what was right.  If the child is a girl, she will be given to Smaug in payment for the Arkenstone."  He said roughly, and turned away to continue his work.

Fílí led Loka away, his arm tight around her.  Burying his face into her hair, he took deep trembling breaths.  "Amrâlimê, I swear to you that nothing will harm our child.  I will not let anything happen to it.  I promise."  He said, his voice hard and determined.

Loka looked up at him, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably.  Her blue eyes gazed into his, silently crying out the pain and heartache she felt inside.  Words were impossible for her to form at this time.

~~~  

Seven months later...

Loka paused in her walk through the hallways of Erebor, a slight grimace flashing across her face as she laid a hand on her swollen stomach.  Breathing out heavily, she glanced up, catching sight of Thorin as he passed by, blue eyes focused on her figure.  

Hurrying on her way, anxious to put distance between her and Thorin, Loka continued to the Great Hall, where several Dwarves were scattered throughout the room; some by the roaring fire, and others sitting in groups, talking quietly.

Loka found Fílí in one of the groups, and walked over to him.  Fílí caught sight of her approaching, and stood up, a smile lighting up his face.  "Loka, Ghivasheluh."  He said, and placed a gentle hand on the small of her back, leading her over to the circle of chairs.  

Easing herself down into the chair, Loka let out a sigh, her hands gently cradling her swollen abdomen.  Fílí knelt beside her, looking up at her with a grin.  "How is my beautiful wife feeling?"  He asked, grabbing her hand and interlinking their fingers.  

Loka laughed softly.  "Tired..."  She said, and took a deep breath, her free hand beginning to stroke her abdomen as her brow furrowed.  

"Loka?"  Fílí asked, his tone concerned as he watched her.  "Is everything alright, My love?"  

Estelle hurried over from a different group of chairs, coming to stand on Loka's other side.  "Loka?"  She called softly, and Loka glanced over at her.

"I'm fine...  It's just a mild contraction.  I've been having them all morning."  She tried to soothe her husband and Estelle, but Fílí began to look more concerned.

"Loka, perhaps you should go to our chambers and rest."  Fílí murmured, starting to try and help Loka out of the chair, but she shot him a glare.

"Fílí, I just sat down.  I refuse to get up again and carry your child around until I am ready to do so."  She growled, and Fílí gave up with a sigh.  He sent Estelle a pleading look, but she shrugged.

"I cannot help you here, nephew.  Pregnant Dwarrowdames can do pretty much whatever they want.  Nothing short of delivery is going to stop them."  She said, and gave Fílí a apologetic grin.  

Heaving a sigh, Fílí gave Loka a frustrated look before he sat down in the chair beside her.  Time passed slowly for him as he watched Loka fidget in her chair, biting her lip each time a contraction washed over her.  Fílí couldn't help but get more anxious with each contraction that came, but no matter what he said, Loka wouldn't budge.  

Then Thorin entered the room, glancing it around it until his gaze fell upon Loka as she breathed through a contraction, her blue eyes closed as she rested her head in a hand.  Exhaling, she looked up, turning her gaze towards Fílí, who was watching Thorin closely.  

"Fílí, I'd like to go to our chambers."  She murmured, and Fílí's head snapped around to look at her, his blue eyes widening.  A smile tugged at the corner of Loka's mouth as she took in his expression.  "Fee, you look as though I'm going to give birth any moment...  I can assure you that this baby isn't coming for a long time yet."  She laughed quietly, accepting the hand that Fílí offered her to help her up.

Stretching, Loka let out a long breath, catching sight of Thorin standing in the doorway.  "He always seems to be watching me."  She whispered, looking over at Fílí with a frown.  "It's quite disconcerting."

Fílí swallowed hard, looking back over at his Uncle with a cold expression.  His wife shouldn't have to feel that way about Thorin.  She shouldn't be scared of the Dwarrow Fílí knew as his father figure.  "I'll protect you and our child, don't worry, Âzyungal."  He murmured, wrapping an

arm around Loka's waist and walking slowly towards the doorway where Thorin stood.  

But halfway through the room, Loka stopped dead, leaning heavily against Fílí as she buried her face in his shoulder, a low groan escaping her lips to become muffled in his shirt.  "Loka?!"  Fílí asked anxiously at her odd behavior.  "Amrâlimê?"

Loka lifted her head, her mouth open as she panted.  As she raised her crystal blue eyes to his, Fílí noted the panicked look they held.  "Fílí, my water just broke."  She whispered, and Fílí looked down at the ground, catching sight of the dark stain spreading across Loka's skirt.  Then Loka suddenly doubled over, her face a mask of agony as her legs buckled beneath her; a guttural groan fleeing from her lips.

"Loka!"  Fílí cried, quickly moving to hold her up.  "Auntie!"  He cried, looking around, trying to spot Estelle.  

Estelle appeared quickly, giving Fílí a look.  "Bring her to your chambers.  I will meet you there once I fetch Lorelei from her vigil on Kílí.  I will need her help."  She said, and Fílí nodded, gently lifting Loka into his arms and cradling her close.

Thorin watched all this closely, and as soon as he saw Fílí heading towards him with Loka cradled in his arms, he turned and walked quickly down the hallway.  It was time to notify Smaug's messenger that the payment might be ready today.

~~~

Fílí hurried into Loka and his bedroom, and eased Loka out of his arms onto the bed.  Her eyes were closed as she panted, leaning back heavily against the pillows as she let out a soft cry.  "I don't want to bring this child into this world."  She whispered, opening tear filled blue eyes to look up at Fílí.  "Not if such a horrible fate awaits it."  

Fílí hushed her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly in his calloused one.  Caressing her face gently, he locked eyes with her.  "I promised you that I would not let anything harm our child.  That promise holds true today, Loka.  Nothing will touch our child, I swear that to you again."  He whispered, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her lips.

Then Estelle entered the room, closely followed by Lorelei.  "Fílí, this is womens work.  Let us be."  She said, grabbing Fílí's arm and tugging him towards the door.  Fílí shrugged out of her grip and walked towards the door on his own, giving Loka one last glance over his shoulder before he walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

Now that he stood alone in the hallway, Fílí drew his twin swords, ready to do whatever it took to prevent his Uncle from taking his child.  His only hope was that the child would be a boy, and thus spared from being given to Smaug in exchange for a gem.

~~~

Several hours later...

Fílí paced in front of the oak door, wincing as a scream cut through the air.  Vaguely, he could see a burly shadow at the end of the hallway.  There was only one person who it could possibly be, and Fílí didn't want him anywhere near his wife and child.

Another cry emanated from behind the door, and Fílí looked over at it, praying that everything was okay.  Surely it didn't take this long for a babe to be born.

~~~~

Loka panted heavily, sweat beading on her forehead as she brushed away the strands of dark brown hair that had escaped the braid she wore.  Pain tightened around her again like an iron hand, and she let out a long groan of agony.  

"You're doing good, Agnât'nana'."  Lorelei soothed, gently massaging her back in an attempt to distract her from the pain of childbirth.

"How much longer do I have to endure this?"  Loka whispered hoarsely, shifting her position on the bed.  Estelle looked over at her from where she was folding blankets, and smiled.  

"Only a few more hours, Nâtha.  Babies take some time to come."  She said, and Loka let out a moan, her face contorting with another contraction.

Lorelei rose suddenly, grabbing Loka's hand and squeezing it gently.  "I'm going to go check on Kílí, then I will return, alright?"  She murmured, and Loka nodded silently, her eyes closed in weariness.

~~~

Suddenly, the door opened and Lorelei stepped out of it, closing it softly behind her.  She caught sight of Fílí standing in the hallway and smiled.

"How is she?"  Fílí asked quickly, his heart pounding in his chest.  Quickly, he sheathed his swords and walked closer to Lorelei.  "My child...?"

Lorelei laughed, green eyes twinkling.  "Loka is doing fine.  And as for your child, it will not arrive for a few more hours yet.  Now if you'll excuse me, I must go check on Kílí."  She said, and brushed past him, down the hallway.

Fílí slumped against the wall, closing his eyes as he dropped his head into his heads.  "A few more hours?"  He murmured to the still hallway, shoulders tensing as he heard Loka's pained

moan.

~~~~

Several more hours later...

Fílí stood silently in the growing shadows, watching his Uncle as he conversed with a figure he couldn't see at the end of the hallway.  Loka's screams echoed in his ears and he shot a glance towards the door, wondering how much longer it would take for the babe to arrive.

Suddenly, the screams ceased, and Fílí focused his gaze on the door, swallowing hard.  Then the wavering cry of an infant broke through the silence and Fílí let out a relieved breath, tears springing to his eyes at the sound.

Forgetting all about his Uncle, Fílí hurried towards the door and burst through it, taking in the sight of Loka lying on the bed with a crying baby cradled in her arms.

"Loka," Fílí whispered, and she raised her head, looking at him with a tired smile on her face.

"Fílí."

Fílí grinned and hurried over to her side, seating himself on the bed beside her as he looked down at the small creation held carefully in his beloved's arms.  He wrapped an arm around Loka's shoulders and leaned down to press a lingering kiss to her lips.  "Zain abnâmal...  I love you."  He murmured into her sweat-soaked hair, making her smile wider and lean against him.

Looking back down at his child, a more prominent concern rose in Fílí's mind.  "The child, is it...?"  Fílí asked, and Loka raised her head, looking over at Estelle, who stood at the foot of the bed with a heartbroken expression on her face.  "Auntie?"  Fílí asked quietly, dreading what her answer was.

"I'm so sorry...  The child is a girl."  Estelle whispered, and a sob shook Loka's body.  Burying her face into Fílí's chest, she held the child closer.  

Fílí took a deep breath, rubbing Loka's back.  "Amrâlimê, I swore to you that I wouldn't let anyone harm our daughter.  I will keep my oath."  He said in a quiet, firm voice and pulled away from Loka, standing up and walking towards the door as he drew his twin swords.

"Fílí!"  Loka called after him, but he was deaf to her cries.  He had his daughter's life to protect now.  

Stepping out into the hallway, Fílí strode down it, his silver blades catching the light of the flickering torches lining the stone walls.  "Uncle!"  He called, catching the attention of the figure lingering at the beginning of the hallway.  "I have a daughter!  Touch her and I will slaughter you

where you stand."  He called down the hallway, his voice shaking with rage.

"Fílí, don't be foolish.  You can always have other daughters.  There is only one Arkenstone."  Thorin rumbled, but Fílí shook his head.  

"You are wrong, Uncle.  Your mind is so twisted and caught up in the gold-sickness that you don't see what you already have.  You only see what you don't."  He said softly, stopping a few paces away from Thorin.

"I will handle this, Thorin.  No need for blood to be on your hands..."  A velvety voice purred from the shadows, startling Fílí.  He watched in horror as a tall figure stepped out from a corner and strode towards him, long claw-like nails flashing in the torchlight.  "Step aside, Dwarf, and I will spare you.  Resist, and you will die with your daughter."  The man hissed, but Fílí shook his head, standing firm.

"I'd rather die fighting then die knowing I willingly gave up my daughter to a dragon."  Fílí growled, and the man laughed.  

"Too bad...  You have spirit."  The man said, and walked forward, grabbing Fílí's throat before he could react and lifting him off the ground.  Fílí's swords fell to the ground with a loud clatter as he struggled against the restricting pressure of the man's hand.

Thorin watched as his sister-son writhed and gasped for breath, face turning red as he struggled vainly against the grip of Smaug's messenger.  Slowly, as he watched, the fog began to disappear from his mind, and was replaced with clarity.

"Stop!"  Thorin roared, and Smaug's messenger turned to look at him, surprise gleaming in his dark eyes.  "Don't touch my irakdashat or his nâtha."

The man sighed, looking back at Fílí.  "I knew you would do this.  It takes a cruel person to watch their relative die and not feel any emotion.  Fortunately, I did expect it, so you will die next."  He murmured, but Thorin shook his head.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Smaug."  He rumbled, making the man drop Fílí and whirl around to look at him with unadulterated shock in his eyes.

"How do you know who I am?" He hissed, and Thorin smiled.  

"Simple, you have many of his same mannerisms, even in your human form."  He said, drawing his sword and walking purposefully towards the human Smaug.  

Smaug let out an inhuman sounding growl and ran towards Thorin, his long claw-like nails extending towards Thorin's throat.

But Thorin anticipated this move and ducked underneath, sending his sword straight through Smaug's side.  Smaug's eyes widened in surprise, and he looked down in shock at the sword sprouting from his side for a moment before crumpling to the ground, never to rise again.

Thorin, satisfied that Smaug was dead, turned to tend to Fílí, who lay weakly on the stony floor, his chest heaving for breath.

"Uncle... Why?"  He choked out, and Thorin smiled, kneeling beside him.

"It was as if I had a realization while he was choking you.  Your daughter is blood of my blood, just as you are, Fílí.  I couldn't watch him kill you before my very eyes."  Thorin said, laying a hand on Fílí's shoulder.

Tears welled in Fílí's eyes as he looked up at his Uncle, biting his lip.  "Thank you, Uncle."  He whispered, struggling to rise to his feet.  "I have to return to Loka, she will be worrying."  He mumbled, and Thorin grinned, grabbing Fílí's hand and slinging it over his shoulder, supporting Fílí.

"I'm sure both her and your aunt are going to kill me, regardless of the fact that I killed Smaug." Thorin chuckled, amd Fílí nodded, pulling away from Thorin as they reached the door that would lead to Loka.

"Without a doubt, Uncle."  He said, and pushed open the door, walking through it towards Loka.  

~~~

At the sound of the door opening, Loka looked up from the child held protectively in her arms, and her blue eyes widened as she caught sight of Fílí walking towards her.

"Amrâlimê!"  She cried, a smile lighting up her face as he sat beside her.  "Fee--" But Fílí quickly cut her off by slanting his lips over hers, framing her cheek with a hand.

"Our daughter is safe, Amrâlimê.  The dragon is dead."  He whispered against her lips, and Loka gasped softly, tears welling in her eyes.  "Everything is going to be alright, I promise."

[btsqualityy]

BTS Toddler Series #25: Christmas

Kim Seokjin

“Here we go,” Jin said as he walked into the living room, a large box filled with ornaments in his hands. 

“What’s that?” Kaiden asked as he scooted towards the edge of the couch, wanting to get a peek inside of the box.

“You remember how I told you that we were gonna make our tree really nice and pretty?” You spoke up and Kaiden turned to look over at you, nodding his head. “Well, the decorations for it are in that box.”

“Come look,” Jin called as he set the box down on the ground next to the Christmas tree. Kaiden slid down from the couch and walked over to his father, watching carefully as Jin pulled the lids of the box open. 

“Oh, pretty,” Kaiden whispered as he peeked over into the box. Jin chuckled and reached into the box, pulling out a sphere shaped ornament. 

“Here, you take this hook and sit it on the tree,” Jin instructed as he then took the ornament and hooked it onto one of the branches. “Like that.”

“Ok,” Kaiden nodded and Jin picked out another ornament, this time a small box, and then handed it off to Kaiden. 

“Careful Kade,” you said as you got up and walked over to them. Kaiden nodded once again before slowly and gently placing the box on another branch, smiling widely afterwards. The three of you then spent the next 45 minutes decorating the tree and having Kaiden helping actually turned out better than you and Jin thought it would. 

“Wanna put the star on Chinny?” Jin asked and Kaiden nodded instantly. You handed the star to him and watched as Jin picked Kaiden up, lifting him so that he could reach the top of the tree. Kaiden then pushed the star on to the top branch and Jin set him back onto the ground.

“What do you think Kade?” You asked him.

“We did good,” he chirped, making both you and Jin laugh.

Min Yoongi 

“Daddy, where we going?” Kinsley asked as you, her, and Yoongi walked through the mall together. Technically though, Yoongi was carrying Kinsley.

“We have a surprise for you baby girl,” Yoongi said and Kinsley gasped softly.

“Good one?” She wondered.

“Yeah, it’s a good surprise,” you laughed. The three of you continued on throughout the mall until you came to this huge photo booth area, that was decorated in what seemed to be an endless amount of Christmas decorations. 

“Mommy, Daddy!” Kinsley squealed and you smiled widely, already having expected this reaction from her. “It’s Santa!” She pointed over to the man that was dressed as Santa, sitting in a large chair as he took pictures with a few other children.

“We know, we brought you to see him,” you told him.

“Do you wanna go over to him?” He asked her and she nodded immediately. Thankfully, the line was not long at all so there was only about a 5 minute wait until the three of you were standing in front of “Santa”.

“Hello there little girl,” Santa smiled at Kinsley. Yoongi set her down on the ground and you both watched as she walked over to stand in front of Santa. “What’s your name?”

“Kinsley,” she whispered, suddenly feeling shy in the presence of the large man. 

“And how old are you Kinsley?”

“Three,” she said as she held up three of her fingers. 

“Have you been a good girl this year?” He wondered and Kinsley nodded. “Good. I guess that means that I’ll have to give you everything you want this year huh?” He chuckled and she nodded shyly. “Would you like to take a picture with me?”

“Can I?” Kinsley asked as she turned around to look at you and Yoongi 

“Go ahead baby girl,” Yoongi smiled and Kinsley wasted no time in climbing up onto Santa’s lap. The both of them grinned widely and the cameraman took their pictures, all while you and Yoongi each took a photo on your phones as well.

Kim Namjoon

“All ready for bed Mase?” You asked him as you watched him pull his pajama top over his head. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. He then looked over at his bookcase, pointing to it as he looked back at you. “Can we finish the book Mommy?” He wondered, referring to the book ‘The Polar Express’.

“Are you sure you want to finish it tonight?” You questioned with a chuckle. “You didn’t even make it halfway through before you fell asleep on it last night.”

“Please,” he begged. “Wanna finish before Christmas.”

“Alright, alright, we can read it,” you relented, making him cheer. “Go get Daddy and I’ll meet you in our room, ok?” He nodded quickly before running off to find Namjoon while you walked over to his small bookcase and grabbed the book off of the shelf. You then walked out of Mason’s bedroom and down the hall to your and Namjoon’s room, only to find both Mason and Namjoon already waiting in the bed for you. 

“I see the two of you are ready,” you giggled as you climbed into bed with them. You settled down on one side of Mason while Namjoon was on the other side, the two of you sandwiching him in. 

“Do you want me or Daddy to read?” You asked Mason.

“Daddy please,” he requested and you silently handed the book over to Namjoon.

“Should I start from the beginning or do you remember what happened?” Namjoon wondered.

“Start over,” Mason said as he snuggled further into the bed. Namjoon nodded, opening the book and beginning to read. The three of you laid there together, you threading your fingers through Mason’s hair gently as Namjoon’s soothing voice recited the words from the book.

“Joon look,” you called out suddenly, making him stop reading and look over at you. A wide smile came over his face at the sight of Mason fast asleep against you, his fringe covering his eyes.

“I knew he wasn’t gonna last,” Namjoon laughed and you just shook your head before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of Mason’s head.

Jung Hoseok 

“Daddy, mommy!” Lennox yelled as he and Berkeley ran into the living room. You and Hobi were snuggled up together on the couch, a blanket covering the both of you as you watched a movie.

“What is it kiddos?” Hobi chuckled as they both clambered onto the couch and smushed themselves in between you and Hobi.

“We can’t find the elf today,” Berkeley pouted as she looked up at her father, referring to the elf on the shelf that you and Hobi had been hiding around the house for them.

“Did you look in your room?” You asked and hey both nodded their heads. 

“Help us please,” Lennox requested. 

“Alright, come on,” Hobi said and they both smiled widely before sliding down off the couch. “You gonna come with us?” He asked as he looked over at you.

“Why not?” You shrugged and the both of you got up from the couch. Hobi then lead the way into the laundry room, turning around to face the twins afterwards.

“I have a feeling that the elf may be in here,” Hobi said mysteriously and you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, knowing that he was the one who had been in charge of moving the elf today.

“Oh! Found it!” Berkeley exclaimed, hopping up and down as she pointed up to the shelf above the washing machine.

“God job princess,” Hobi grinned as he picked her up, lifting her and letting her pluck the elf from the shelf. 

“Can we play with it Mommy?” Lennox asked as he looked up at you.

“Go ahead,” you relented. “But bring it back to Daddy before bedtime, ok?”

“Ok!” They both agreed before running off with the elf.

“How much do you wanna bet that we never see that elf again?” Hobi said, making you laugh loudly.

Park Jimin

“Mommy,” Noah whined as he sat next to you on the floor of you and Jimin’s bedroom. “Wanna help.”

“Just a sec Noey,” you mumbled as you concentrated on trying to hold the wrapping paper in place in order for you to tape it together. Jimin walked back into the room then, carrying a few shopping bags that were filled with the gifts that needed to be wrapped for your family and friends. 

“Daddy,” Noah whimpered, turning his attention to Jimin. “Mommy won’t let me help.”

“What? Why?” Jimin wondered as he set the bags down on the floor and then sat down across from you. 

“I didn’t say he couldn’t help, I just told him to wait a second,” you chuckled. “And don’t snitch on me.”

“Come here mini me,” Jimin laughed as he shook his head and Noah crawled over to sit next to his father. Jimin looked into one of the bags and pulled out a small box, handing it to Noah. “Wanna help me wrap uncle Tae Tae’s present?”

“Yeah,” Noah chirped enthusiastically and you couldn’t help but to smile at him. Jimin grabbed the scissors and some wrapping paper, cutting out the appropriate amount needed to wrap the gift. He then handed it off to Noah, who instantly went to work on trying to wrap it correctly.

“So, have you gotten my gift yet?” You asked Jimin as you looked up at him, and he just smiled.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He chuckled.

“I would actually,” you giggled. 

“You’ll have to wait and see jagi,” he said. “I’m not even gonna ask if you got my present yet though, because I know that you don’t have what I really want. At least not right now.”

“Soon Jimin-ssi,” you promised him with a soft smile. “And I think you’ll still like my actual gift in spite of that.”

“Daddy, help me please,” Noah spoke up suddenly and both you and Jimin looked down, seeing that Noah had managed to rip up the wrapping paper and the entire present was exposed.

“Ok mini me,” Jimin laughed. “You did a good job though,” he praised him and you smiled at how great Jimin was with your son.

Kim Taehyung 

“Ok, who’s card do you want to do next Spence?” You asked as you took a card that she had decorated full of glue and glitter and set it off to the side to dry. For Christmas this year, you and Taehyung had thought that it would be really cute and meaningful if Spencer handmade Christmas cards for your families and for the members. 

“Uh, Uncle Kookie,” she said and you nodded before handing her another piece of construction paper that you had already folded in half for her. She quickly picked up a blue marker and set to work on decorating it. 

“I’m home!” You heard Taehyung shout as the front door opened and then closed. It was only a few more seconds before he was walking into the kitchen and smiling at the sight of you and Spencer sitting at the kitchen table together.

“Hey, how was your day?” You wondered as you watched him walk over to you.

“Eh,” he shrugged with a chuckle before leaning down and kissing you firmly. He then turned to Spencer, who hadn’t once looked up from the card that she was working on. “Hi Munchkin.”

“Hi Daddy,” she replied, still not sparing him a glance as he kissed her on the cheek.

“Oh, you’re working on your Christmas cards,” Tae smiled as he looked at the small stack of cards that she had already finished. 

“Yeah and she’s doing a great job,” you praised her. “See, look at them.”

“No!” Spencer squealed as she finally looked up, reaching out to grab her Daddy’s hands. “Daddy’s card is there and he can’t see it until Christmas.”

“Oh, that’s right,” you nodded. “Sorry Spence.”

“Well, who’s card are you working on now?” Taehyung asked as he peeked over Spencer’s shoulder in order to look at what she was doing. “It looks beautiful.”

“That’s Jungkook’s card,” you smiled.

“Oh, I should’ve known,” he smirked knowingly.

Jeon Jungkook

“I’m ready!” Ava chirped as she ran down the stairs in your house, running over to where you and Jungkook were standing by the front door.

“Ah, where are your gloves Ave?” You asked her when you saw that her hands were bare.

“Upstairs,” she murmured as she looked down at her hands. 

“Go get them Angel,” Jungkook instructed. “It’s cold out there.” Ava sighed heavily before turning around and walking back up the stairs. 

“If she has this much attitude at three, can you imagine how bad she’s gonna be when she’s a teenager?” You wondered.

“I don’t even wanna talk or think about that,” Jungkook shuddered, making you laugh. Just then, Ava came back down the stairs with her gloves on her hands. After checking to make sure that she was bundled up properly, Jungkook opened the front door and the three of you walked outside into the freshly fallen snow.

“Wanna go play in the snow Angel?” Jungkook asked her and Ava nodded. You watched with a smile as she stepped out further into the front yard, giggling when she heard the snow crunching underneath her feet.

“Here, want me to show you how to make a snowball?” You asked her and she nodded. You bent down and gathered some snow up, using your hands to form it into a ball. Ava then did the same, although her snowball turned into more of a huge glob than a ball. 

“Hey, we should get Daddy,” you whispered as you looked over at Jungkook, who had started to roll a huge ball of snow in order to make a snowman.

“Ok,” she giggled and the two of you slowly crept up behind Jungkook, who had his back turned to you two. You looked down and nodded at Ava, and the two of you threw your snowballs at him at the same time.

“What the!” Jungkook yelped as he jumped at the impact of the snowballs and he turned around, an evil smirk spreading across his face. “Oh, the two of you are in for it now!”

“Run Mommy!” Ava shrieked and the two of you took off across the yard, Jungkook following close behind with a snowball in each of his hands. 

[amzarashi]

Amorevolous, Noah & Ronan.

amorevolous: affectionate; loving

“glitter!” noah says as he holds up the snow globe in front of ronan’s face. he watches the particles fly around inside, moreover he watches noah watching it almost reverentially. there’s a smile on his face; a glimpse of noah when he was noah and ronan makes a mental note to buy some to decorate noah’s room. his room is perhaps the neatest amongst them, owing to his being a ghost, but it was also too empty; too clean; too impersonal, and it never felt like noah. his head his thundering because the day has been rough, and so is adam, but when noah flickers out of existence for a second leaving behind  broken shards of glass and puddle of glittery water and, ronan’s headache worsens and his heartbeat grows erratic. it only goes down when noah flickers right back to them, positively dazed and with a wild grip on ronan’s hand. they leave shortly after and the snow globe slips away from ronan’s mind.

back at monmouth, ronan sits in noah’s room, looking at him like he might just disappear. too many things have up and disappeared from his life, yet ronan will never make peace with loss and grieving. noah is looking intently at the floor as he hums a tune ronan can’t place. he hasn’t said much about the flickering away, but ronan knows he’s scared and that he won’t say it out loud. ronan gets up and taps noah on the shoulder and makes a gesture to come over to ronan’s room. he hums a yes, and follows behind ronan. 

ronan’s room is a veritable mess; a far cry from the state of noah’s room.  there are way too many dream things scattered about, almost purposeless. he grabs one that he dreamt a while back, a little trinket he no longer has any use for, and hands it to noah, who looks at it as if he has no idea what to do with it. ronan grabs another one for himself and walks over to the window before hurling it out onto the parking lot. it crashes with a sound unlike real objects, and noah looks surprised, but he catches on pretty quick as he lets out a laugh and walks over to hurl the thing in his hand. it lands with another resounding crash and noah lets out a howl like laughter; it sounded not-noah, before-noah, alive-noah and it felt more right than it should be. they grab more things to throw out the window and there are more crashes and more laughter and ronan wants to bottle up all those laughs so that he can play it to noah when the ley line comes to remind him that he’s far from being the boy he once was. 

they continue to throw things out the window and noah’s laughs are louder than the crashes; they’re brimming with life, and with a stroke of genius, he grabs noah’s hand. noah looks confused again and ronan smiles a sly smile, and he sees the exact moment noah realises what he plans to do. he shouts ‘no way’; half laugh, half words, and ronan hurls him out the window, and there’s a slight warmth to noah’s hand the moment ronan let’s go. 

when noah slouches back into ronan’s room, he has a smile on his face and ronan flips him the bird before putting on his headphones. when ronan dreams later that night, he doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but when he wakes up his hands are covered in glitter and he’s holding the same snowglobe that noah broke -- just less broken.

writing requests

[daykevin]

Glitter Galore

Written for @czernsgiving Day 2: glitter / go fast / sleep when you’re dead

read it here on ao3

--- 

Blue was humming to herself as she riffled through her closet. Noah was attempting to harmonize with her from where he sat on the large beanbag in the corner, but he wasn’t doing very well. It wasn’t like Blue minded though; she was just glad to have someone around whilst doing the worst task on the planet.

Her closet had way too much stuff; there were clothes from when she was literally seven and so. Much. Makeup. No one on the planet needed that much eyeshadow. And absolutely no one needed that many glitters and highlighters.

She exited her closet with armfuls of old makeup. Noah’s eyes widened significantly when he saw her.

“Is that glitter?”

“It is in fact glitter,” Blue replied. “Why?” Noah didn’t respond- he was too busy staring enchantedly at the boxes and boxes of glitter in Blue’s arms with a small smile that lit up his whole face. “Noah?” Still no response. “Heyyyyyyy,”

Noah blinked at her. “Hello,”

“Where’d you go?”

Noah only shrugged in response. “Glitter.”

“Do you... want it?” Blue asked, “it’s kinda old so I can’t use it but...”

“But I’m dead so my skin can’t break out?”

Blue winked at him. “Exactly.” Noah reached out for the boxes reverentially, cradling them like holy relics.

He stared at the treasure in his hands, his brows furrowing. “Is something wrong?” Blue asked after a few minutes. Noah looked back up at her.

“This is makeup, right?”

“Yes, it is,” Blue replied. Noah looked back down at the boxes and frowned.

“I don’t know what to do with makeup.” He muttered. Blue couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Noah attempted to look angry, but he really couldn’t when he was cradling boxes of glitter like they were made of glass.

“I can help you if you want,” Blue said. His whole face lit up and started nodding so much Blue almost worried he would get a headache. “I have a bunch of foundation and other stuff left over from when I forced Gansey to let me do his makeup, and it’ll probably match you really well.” She walked over to her vanity and started rifling through the pile of products. “Go sit on that chair over there,” she said over her shoulder. Noah practically skipped over to the aforementioned seat, his legs swinging like an excited toddler while he waited for Blue to finish her search.

She came over a few minutes later, her arms laden with pale as fuck skin products and (not so clean) brushes. She held the bottles up to Noah’s face and was delighted to see that he matched them pretty well. Oh, the fun she would have with teasing Gansey that he was literally as pale as the dead.

“Fuck primer, I don’t fear god,” Blue muttered before dumping foundation onto the back of her hand and blending it onto Noah’s face. She was blending for all of .5 seconds before he started giggling. Blue stopped, frowning. “You okay?”

“Yeah, that just feels funny,” Noah replied airily. Blue shrugged and resumed.

“You should be a masseuse,” he blurted when Blue finished with his foundation, “that was really relaxing.”

Blue raised a brow at him. “You know we’re not anywhere near done, right? That was just the first step.”

Noah gaped at her. “How long does it take for girls to get ready in the morning?”

Blue shrugged. “Five minutes if you don’t give a fuck.”

Noah nodded sagely. “Fuck yeah,” he whispered. Blue smiled at him and reached for the concealer.

They continued in silence, getting through concealer, powder, contour, and eye primer without a peep, Blue’s nose scrunched up in concentration and Noah floating happily in his own world.

Then came the fun part.

Blue opened up three different eyeshadow palettes and got to work. Noah made the occasional noise of discomfort when she pushed too hard on his eye socket, but in general she was impressed by how still he was able to sit, especially because she thought this was his first experience with makeup. She used almost entirely purple and blue shadows, and it was frankly some of the best blending she had ever done.

Finally, finally, Blue opened up the first box of glitter. She started packing it onto his lid. A lot of it dusted onto in his under eye, but Blue found herself liking how it looked so she just pretended that it was her intention the whole time.

Then came the really fun part.

After slapping copious amounts of highlighter onto Noah’s cheekbones, Blue started adding literally every type of glitter on top of it. Noah started laughing the second her brush touched his cheek. She pulled back to let him catch his breath, but as soon as the brush made contact with his cheek he broke into another fit of laughter. It went on like that the entire time- the brush’s contact with Noah’s cheek was like pressing a button to make him giggle uncontrollably. It made Blue’s work much more difficult, but she was nobody if not a stubborn spirit.

She then picked up another box of glitter, this one with stars, and placed a couple on each of Noah’s cheekbones.

After a struggle with mascara and copious amount of setting spray, Blue finally declared “Done!”

Noah’s face went totally blank when she spun his chair to face the mirror. Blue’s heart sank. She tried to catch his eye in the mirror, but he was totally engrossed in his reflection.

“...Noah?” He sniffled slightly.

“Please don’t talk,” Noah said softly, “I’m trying really hard not to cry.” Blue raised a brow at him. “It’s just so pretty…” he breathed. Noah reached up, his fingertips hovering above his glitter-covered cheek and brow bones, his mouth open in adoration. Then his fingers moved to hover over the blush on his cheeks, which made him look more alive than she had ever seen him. He kept widening and blinking his eyes, obviously trying to get a good look at the eyeshadow. Blue was frankly really proud of what she had done- the purples and blues were blended extremely well and the glitter on his lid contrasted the mattes in his crease nicely.

Blue broke out into a smile, and seconds later Noah mirrored her. “Thank you,” he breathed, his whole face split by his smile. “I love it.”

Blue went up on her tiptoes to kiss his hair. “You’re welcome,” she said warmly, “If you’re ever bored, just come find me so I can cover you in glitter instead of doing actual work.”

Noah beamed. He seemed to think that was the best idea of all time.