#and no this isnt just the period talking
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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#sorry i saw someone say sonic and tails dont see eachother as family at all again and it annoyed me#this isnt even all of the times theyve said it this is just a bunch of stuff i remembered off the top of my head#and also sonic has called tails little bro SO many times across different media that it would be impossible to track them all down#but i tried to include stuff from different media to show that this isnt a thing thats exclusive to one continuity or one period of time#because those are arguments i see people use to prove theyre not brothers#but even if it WAS something that is mentioned a lot in earlier sonic media and not so much in recent stuff.#not mentioning something as often anymore doesnt automatically make it non canon?? especially if theres no new info contradicting it#sonic frontiers spoilers#the sage picture probably looks irrelevant to people who havent played frontiers#but she was talking about sonic and tails there which is why i included it#also i put that aosth clip instead of screenshots from it because i didnt think a couple screenshots would do it justice#you really have to see the whole thing
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probably won't finish this but yay screenshot redraw
what are they even gossiping about
#trying to get used to procreate im kinda sad that i can't recreate some brushes from ibis perfectly but sigh we ball!!!#it's been fun tho :3 super cool app i don't regret getting it#it changed my style up a little cuz of the colouring technique but idk i hope it looks ok#USOPP ISNT MEANT TO BE MAD BHKJFD im posting this as a wip but i still hav e the urge to fix things up but i have class in like 5 mins ARGH#he's just very passionately shit talking#or whatever they were doing in the screencap i forgor (it was just sitting in my gallery)#op#one piece#sanji#usopp#boss luffy historical special#edo period#sanuso#usosan#okkk nothing shippy ab this art ik but when i was drawing it i was like hehe boyfriendsss so it counts. TO ME#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#art#mintart#my art
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Mirakane siren AU Who up contemplating Akane Kurashiki's indelible destructive pull back to the source of her trauma and consistent inability to escape her compulsive fixation on recreating it 🌊🎉 Who up making elaborate fish yuri about it (me alone) 🐟
dimmer alt version
#zero escape#zero time dilemma#akane kurashiki#mira ztd#mira zero escape#mirakane#monster au#digital art#barts (big arts)#I hope this is recognisable enough as versions of the same characters 😭😭😭#with akanes design I tried to incorporate elements from all her canon outfits into a vaguely period appropriate shape#of Somewhere In Witch Hunt Times#but there's only so much I can do with naked fish lady 🥲#But!! She's based on a red bellied piranha because of what she talks about in that one fragment comparing herself to a piranha in the water#the necessary danger of the game#isnt it interesting how that's an aquatic metaphor. When Mira is indirectly responsible for Akane dying stranded out in the ocean.#How in akanes own game she had hongou be the shark in the water#unfortunately I've been told piranhas only live in freshwater. Fortunately these depicted are special piranhas compelled by siren magic#can you believe ztd introduced a character who as a child herself instigated the events of the entire series and had Akane end up#coincidentally meeting her and then they don't even talk onscreen#and the reveal of her causing that is just casually dropped and glossed over she doesnt even tell akane herselflflfl#this was so fucking hardddd#theres a surprisingly huge amount of underwater reference photos available online but i couldnt find quite what i wanted and i had to figur#out the fucking skirttttt and hair underwater and rendering the water itself#and now i have learned :)
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To throw my hat in the ring here, my personal theory for Jeremy Knox's unknown fucked up past is that his brother committed suicide, which led to him developing anger issues/self destructive tendencies that were exacerbated by the his former team (I think he mentions them being pretty unsportsmanlike) and eventually escalated into something that got him arrested. He refused to give up exy which the family tried to blame for the issue, so instead his mom had him go to therapy, which helped him— along with the Trojan's general vibe— but at this point his family isn't willing to forgive him due to the potential scandal/whatever happened. I'm thinking the incident probably has something to due with the former exy team as a whole but that's as far as my theory goes.
#i know a lot of people think its because he got outed#but i just dont think so?#like yes the time period and whatnot but i dont think it would have been enough to tear the entire family apart#this isnt well thought out or anything im having late night thoughts#also i hope everyone who has suggested that the issue was jeremy and a step brother having a secret relationship has fucking nightmares#thanks for coming to my ted talk#void rambles#aftg#tsc#jeremy knox#the sunshine court
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i just saw someone call period underwear freebleeding im screaming
#felix babbles#technically you can call it that but. theyre so different#by that logic using a pad is freebleeding 😭 period underwear are specifically made to absorb blood like a pad#the dude wasnt insulting it but to anyone who hadnt heard of them you might think theyre just normal underwear for only periods#btw if youre weirded out by period talk this isnt the place for you. i openly talk about my periods literally wherever#obviously i dont change the subject like hey everyone lets talk about my blood so dont pull that card on me#but like. im very annoying about how i find it super weird when people shun you for talking about being on your period
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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You know how wild it is to see comments on YouTube of children going "i subed. im 7"
I did not interact with the YouTube comments until I was a teenager. I have made a grand total of less than 5 comments. Because I'm a pussy who was scared of saying something stupid and having the internet show up at my door to shank me. Yknow. Exactly what I was taught would happen.
And I stare at these comments and I think to myself
'If you knew your address, you would've posted it.'
#INTERNET SAFTEY#WHY DID NO ONE TEACH THE CHILDREN INTERNET SAFTEY. ITS BASIC SHIT. MONITER YOUR CROTCH GOBLINS FUCKO.#god i hate people#do not talk to me until ive had my coffee but its 1 am and i dont drink coffee#basics: dont post your private info online#whats private info? your NAME. your AGE. your TIMEZONE ISTG STOP SAYING YOUR TIMEZONE IN TWITCH CHAT-#your COUNTRY. your STATE. you CITY.#DONT TELL PEOPLE INFORMATION THAT THEY CAN USE TO FIND YOU. IT ISNT THAT HARD#mother fucker#im so tired#its 1 am#like. ok. story time.#its fine if its like. private chats with people you trust and consider a friend#im talking public#big servers with 100s of people on discord#up on your tumblr blog#TWITCH CHAT. WHICH IS RECORDED IN VODS. IT DOES NOT VANISH.#YOUTUBE COMMENTS#also twitter! very very public (even if i dont use it)#insta! dont use that either but its also public!#i post what time is it for me cuz 1) this is a very populated timezone and 2) im not a minor#this is about the minors specifically#less about 15+ yall know how to ask for help but 14- gotta be careful#and anything less than 13 should not comment personal shit on anything ever wtf why#anyone not in double digits shouldnt comment PERIOD#you can engage without commenting. i watched so much skydoesminecraft and ihascupquake and dantdm as a kid#i just didnt comment and moved on to the next video#its literally so simple#hell middle school was the first time i interacted with a fandom#no regrets
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Fuck I think my period is being weird agian. uuuuuuuuuuugh is this gonna be something I can't Ignore.
#ramblings#checked my post history. it wouldve been OVER a month since my last one and without getting tmi i think im technically on it#but theres been. no blood. uh#<- usually gets bad back aches and a fairly heavy flow. has experienced neither#well at least i dont think. my backs kinda been eh but ive assumed its just bc ive been doing a lot of sitting lately#mmmmmmmmm i could just be starting it i hope im just starting it. i dont wanna be having an issue bc i dont wanna go to a doctor#but this is starting to be a pattern#bc of other things thatve been going on lately im worried it might be pcos. but im not like. self-diagnosing that shit#but thats why im worried cuz i rlly dont wanna go to a doctor FUCK. ok whatever im ignoring this again#<- if it turns out this isnt just the start of my period ill talk to my mom bc this is definitely a pattern atp
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I've been following you for a long time, and Fallon has changed a lot in that time! Can I ask what prompted you to change her from having short red hair to hair much more like her sister (Assuming her sister hasn't been retconned?)?
this ask inspired CHAOS in our home as me n polkie are fucking floored someone remembers ancient defunct oc lore from like, pre-2015 ocs era????? defunct oc lore never posted on this blog, ever, which means u managed to find your way here somehow from [redacted&burned]??! and somehow neither of us recognize you?? chaos, and mystery
around 2015 i started making fallons hair more strawberry blonde, and I was playing with length off n on for longer before that. We had an au where ashley was her teacher and she accidentally called him dad in class, and in the next au we were like 'he should adopt her. he should find her as a baby, in a dumpster' because we are disrespectful. after that came teen dad ashley, and that's when fallon went fully blonde. over time we played w family dynamics, and nowadays we mostly use them as twins bc the dynamic is impeccable (sometimes they have a darcy and georgiana type gap and relationship, and sometimes ashley is just a couple years older and so bad at being an older brother he ritual sacrifices her to colin's fucked up eldritch cat god. normal sibling fare). fallon got pointier and freckled over time to match ashley, who is a pointy little rat bitch, bc i wanted a family resemblance💖protofallon (circa 2009-2014ish?) was recycled as a design for ellis, my 6ft nightmare twink, in probably 2016? fallons only sibling now is ashley, and addies an only child
many of my ocs personalities have either changed DRASTICALLY since that time OR ive just straight up dropped their asses, and thats primarily bc i was the main target of my bananas bonkers ex's unmanaged borderline obsession and she LOVED to use ocs to control me (very cute and normal behavior). if my ocs did something she didn't like then suddenly she'd be having a hysterical suicidal meltdown and id have to like hold her hand all night instead of sleep (which she only let me get 2-4hrs a night for actual years, so!!) while being told i was the crazy problem person , so like all my ocs had to be on their best caretaking behavior at all times. anyway the physical changes in fallon were the first manifestation of me getting away frm that control, which very first started happening in 2014, and fully took root when polks moved here to scare my evil ex away and thats why fallon now gets to be a mean little blonde girl instead of a docile perfect waifu💖
#HOW DID U FIND UR WAY HERE.. YOU KNOW THE ANCIENT LORES!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!#kels talks#looking back on that time period is so wild. i really just lived like that huh...#oc cummies are so serious and the way that ex weaponized my barbies against me was honestly so masterful. unhinged psycho bitch shit truly#now my barbies can do whatever they want and i dont get subjected to actual torture sleep deprivation bc fallon isnt accommodating enough#you- innocently: oh i wonder why ur ocs changed#me: just gave my barbie a faceup after 2 years of nonstop psychological terrorism u know how it is
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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Was anyone gonna tell me birth control was this powerful???
#i started my period today??#and i haven't been in an abyss of total darkness and emotional pain unable to do anything but lay on the floor and wait for it to be over??#no uncontrollable anger negativity or bitterness????#again no DEPRESSION???#ive just been a regular upbeat guy!!!!#what the fuck!!!!!#ive been on them two weeks!!!!#mine#i was skeptical bc i had to do the progesterone only pill cos the combined one snd migraines aren't a good mix#and i couldn't find anything about that pill treating pmdd#but my doctor said we'd try i to see if it just stabilised things ✨ hormonally ✨#and oh my god#if you're having depression and/or anger issues that resplve within a few days of starting your period#talk to ur doctor#ik birth control isnt for everyone and it affects everyone differently but holy shit#life changing#ive taken more steps forward on the last two weeks than the last four months#and most importantly ive just been stable and on mostly good moods and feeling pretty ok for me#and just not feeling like im either teetering on the edge of an abyss or in it#thank you tiny pill ✊#pmdd#WHY DONT THEY TEACH YOU THIS IN SCHOOL
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if anyone is willing to talk to me abt possible system stuff that would b great btw i have zero ppl to talk to abt it lol
(or if i can be guided to like. idk. server that helps w figuring this shit out)
#askin some hard questions rn WOOOOO#mainly .#fr context i realized i was a system at like 13ish#do not have the trauma to qualify for a diagnosis#and have been off and on about thinking of myself as a system or not#primarily bc my identity was in a period of upheaval throughout my teen years thanks to abuse#i definitely have experiences that i think are having alters#even if i AM able to block it out hardcore and ignore it for the most part#i guess it is like a conscious sticking my head in the sand thing#bc honestly. dealing w processing trauma has been hard enough by itself#and there is in fact an actual goal the entire system holds itself to#sighs.#the way im talking sure is yelling the answer at me#ig im just like. lays on floor#i need validation lol#on whether or not what im experiencing is a thing or not#or if its possibly my psychosis acting up again#bc i am legit never sure abt that one#granted i havent had any of my other psychosis symptoms#(i think)#and i feel . fine?#so it PROBABLY isnt that#but it wouldnt be the first time ive had a rlly intense delusion thats altered my identity#and i am in fact really gullible#but also it Does feel weird to refer to alters as kintypes . bc theyre so fleshed out and Not That#sits.#and i also do dissociate like crazy#i hate it when things get complex lol#in reference to psychosis. no what i consider alters are not hallucinations#theyre WAY too fleshed out for that
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UPDATE NOBODY ASKED FOR I SURVIVED THE DAY (context in tags yippee !!)
#it was in fact not that serious. kinda.#BASICALLY erm i saw him twice today once in the morning and another time after before 4th period and uh#in the morning i was talking w my friend and he was kinda there and kinda trynna butt in our convo#but my awkward self only semi acknowledged him and then his other friends came and he left#CONCLUSION: THINGS ARE NOT WEIRD BETWEEN US BUT ALSO I WHIMPED OUT ABT EXPLAINING MYSELF >:(#so i was like CHERIE. THE CLOCK. IS TICKING#bc i kinda knew that i'd see him before last period but i wasnt quite sure cuz its just me memorizing his routine#but routines change yk. ANYWAY#I DID SEE HIM#AND IT WAS LITERALLY FINE he showed me an april fools fish in his hair and i stuck another on his head and took pics lol#so lowkey. i think we're fine#and we talked abt other stuff#did i ever mention the text. no. did i need to. who knows#CONCLUSION PT 2: i mightve overthunk it OR he doesnt care OR he isnt questionning it#OR hes questionning it and didnt say anything. evil ending#erm. idk what else to say#w day overall bc i have pics of him now :-)#cherie's chats#this is so embarrassing oh my days
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i said that veilguard felt like a big fuck you to old da players on bsky and accidentally found myself arguing with three different people. hoooow
#talks#1) i forgot that bsky isnt twitter and people actually engage with others#2) did we play the same game.#i liked very few parts of veilguard but you cannot look at me in the eyes and tell me#with your whole chest that the writing in this game isnt the most marvelesque therapyspeech railroaded game bw has ever put out#i get tilted just thinking about how everything is written in Simple Modern English#as a fellow nonbinary person i am allowed to give my period cramps to trick weekes for what they did.
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