#and no change will happen to the usage of bananas until it will be too late
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mother is unsavable, there will never be enough energy resources for the operation. new program is ending generational trauma and saving the future mothers
they should invent a way to save your mother
#mother is unsavable#like the very only breed of bananas throughout the world#that will INEVITABLY go extinct by the very first disease because of no genetic variation#both mothers and bananas were fucked up by the generational heritage of the world wars and the economy#and no change will happen to the usage of bananas until it will be too late#because of the sensitive hierarchy#of money and power#mothers are unsavable#because everything we have today was built on their sacrifices#mistakes and faults#and they have to remain unsavable so to protect the shaky house of cards we call social relations#mothers will suffer#and fruits will slowly loose their taste and rot#and you and me will live through that#and hope that the ugly sacrifices of the womb and the early-built altar of the sweet fruit was worth it#hope that we can do it better than they did
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𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕗𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕪'𝕤 𝕢𝕦𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤
PART 1. . . . adjusted for general use. . . . change as needed for usage
Come on, baby. You like me. You know you do.
Wait a minute! What is this? You like me. I’m a liked guy.
Don’t be angry, you dear little man. I won’t do it again.
That’s quite all right. It could happen to anyone. Quite frequently does.
I—I hate to, uh...I hate to bother you, but if I could ask one more favor...
The phone’s over there. Well, it was. Oh, I remember. I stuck it in the suitcase. Kind of muffles the sound.
Poor slob without a name. The way I look at it I don’t have the right to give him one. We don’t belong to each other.
I don’t even want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I’m not sure where that is, but I know what it’s like.
Listen. You know those days when you get the mean reds?
The mean reds? You mean, like the blues?
The blues are because you’re getting fat or maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all.
The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Don’t you ever get that feeling?
Thursday! Oh, no! It can’t be! It’s too gruesome!
Well, uh...what’s so gruesome about Thursday?
You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you.
But, how could I say no? It was all so wildly romantic. How do I look?
You were a darling to help. I could never have done it without you.
Look it’s none of my business, but it sounds to me like you could get in trouble.
How do you do? Ooh, darling. Let me look at you.
Is it really only three weeks since I left you in Rome? Seems like years.
I know it was wicked of me, but I couldn’t resist. I went ahead and fixed it up without you.
And I always heard people in New York never get to know their neighbors.
300. She’s very generous. Is that by the week, the hour, or what?
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Don’t be angry. I was just trying to let you know I understand. I understand completely.
Stick around. Make yourself a drink. Throw me my robe. I’ll make you one.
You stay right where you are. You must be absolutely exhausted. I mean, it’s very late, and you were sound asleep and everything.
I suppose you think I’m very brazen or tres fou or something.
It’s useful being top banana in the shock department.
Tell me, are you a real writer? I mean, does anybody buy what you write or publish it or anything?
They’re not the kind of stories you can really tell.
Yeah, I...suppose they’re dirty, too, but only incidentally. Mainly they’re angry, sensitive... intensely felt, and that dirtiest of all dirty words— promising.
Well, the idea is I’m supposed to not fritter my talent on little things. I’m supposed to be saving it for the big one.
Oh. You know something you said this morning has been bothering me all day.
Do you mind if I just get in with you for a minute? It’s all right. Really, it is.
We’re friends. That’s all. We are friends, aren’t we?
What is it? What’s the matter? Why are you crying?
If we’re going to be friends, let’s just get one thing straight right now. I hate snoops.
You will manage to survive without me tonight?
Sure. I might even take a wild boyish fling at writing.
Got yourself stuffed, huh, baby? Serves you right, bigmouth.
#roleplay memes#rp sentence meme#sentence meme#sentence starters#roleplay#roleplay prompts#roleplay starters#ask box#ask box prompts
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S1E8 - “To Tell or Not to Tell”
Original air date: November 14, 1961
Episode recap
The Petries are hosting a dinner party. Buddy and Sally do a sing-songy comedy routine while Rob plays the piano. Rob gets up and does a physical comedy routine. Laura gets up and does (what I assume is) some sort of ‘60s-style dancing. Cut to the end of the party, all the guests leave, Rob is tired, Laura goes on and on about what I wonderful time she had dancing.
Next day at the office Rob talks about how much fun Laura had dancing for the dinner party audience. Buddy is worried. Apparently non-homemaking interests from the wife should be worrying to the husband. Mel comes in and asks Rob if Laura can fill in as a dancer on the show this week. Buddy gets more worried. He thinks being married to a career woman is bad. Rob calls Laura to see if she’s interested assuming she won’t be. She’s interested.
Back at home Rob and Richtie are having dinner together because Laura is still rehearsing at the show. He fails at making a TV dinner. They eat bananas instead. Later that night Laura comes home tired. Rob has questions about how to operate the washing machine. Roles have become reversed. Rob is not happy but keeps it to himself.
Next day at the office the snappy service guy is dropping off lunch for Rob, Buddy and Sally. Laura comes in on a break looking hot in her leotard. The lunch delivery guy gawks over her.
After Laura’s successful week as a fill-in, Mel tells Rob he wants to offer her a permanent contract as a dancer on the show. Rob is worried but delivers the news to Laura at home that night. Laura is happy. She had a fun week proving to herself she could do it. But her body can’t keep up. She wants to be a homemaker not a career woman. Rob is relieved.
Everything is about me
Ostensibly, we can make it on my salary alone. But then she went back to work part-time, and the budget balanced a little more easily. We were able to move into this bigger house. There was a little money for some fun.
But she wasn’t happy working, and we figured she didn’t need to work, so she quit.
And the budget got tighter. We can make it. But there’s not a lot of room for fun. Or all those finishing aesthetic touches on our new house.
Her going back to work part-time bought me some peace if I’m being honest.
In the back of my mind I figured as the kids got older, she’d be able to work more, and that be our money boost. I didn’t need to obsess over getting promoted to make an income leap. That leap would be solved for organically by her eventually working full time.
And I still sort of feel that way. But her quitting is a temporary blip. Like I said, she wasn’t happy. She was feeling stressed and not operating in a position of strength to be the best mom she could be. She wants to focus on her health and happiness and kids’ health and happiness.
She wanted to figure out what the heck she wants to do with the rest of her life. She wants to take an art class and find the right exercise program and start a garden and do whatever else projects.
Problem is all that figuring out costs money and there isn’t a whole lot of it to spare in the current tight budget. And my attitude is probably putting pressure on her that some sort of clock is counting down until she figures something out and gets back to work. I keep saying “this year” or “these two years” like there’s a cliff at the end.
And she really doesn’t love doing some of the things she would need to do to truly make this work. We backed off some expenses, like housecleaner and dog groomer only once per month. But haven’t gone truly all in.
To truly make this work, we would need no housecleaning, no dog grooming, no pool cleaner, no yard guy. Her do all that stuff, work it into a schedule. Do whatever the 2021 version of clip coupons is, and really lock down our grocery budget. Essentially do all the homemaking things.
Our kids’ soccer training schedules are brutal Monday through Thursday evening and we still haven’t figured out how to do dinner those nights in a healthy and cost effective way with our sanity in check. That would take effort that she doesn’t want to put forth.
So it’s been four months, and she is not any closer to figuring out what she wants to do, she is not any healthier or happier. The trade-off was supposed to be less money for more time and happiness. But I’m not sure we are getting what we paid for with the forgone part-time dollars she was bringing in.
I am not sure where that leaves her or us.
Episode observations
Life before cell phones
No major changes to the plot except I reckon many of these Rob/Laura conversations--both the routine and the difficult--happen via text not phone.
Clothes and fashion
Rob’s cardigan and polo shirt and slacks house wear, he looked like Mr. Rogers.
Richtie’s robe and button up pajamas, he looked like Hugh Hefner.
Laura’s leotard, she looked hot.
Vocabulary lesson
Someone, I think it may have been buddy, said something along the lines of, “give him a rap, right in the mouth.” I assume raps means punch/hit/strike. I feel like I’ve heard this usage before but can’t think of where.
OK, wow, just Googled it, and this usage is the first definition in both noun and verb form, while rap as in the music is the second definition.
Best joke/funniest moment
Clearly, the funniest moment of the show was Buddy’s. He was funny throughout. But one moment in particular stood out. He’s talking to Rob about how to get Laura give up on a career in dance and says to take her on a skiing trip. Rob replies that Laura can’t ski, she’ll break her leg. Buddy gets this evil look in his eyes and says, “yeah” with a dramatic pause. The “yeah” was good enough, but he tags on, “you catch on fast.” They call back to this at the end of the episode when Laura mentions maybe she could dance on the show one week per year then Rob asks if she’d like to go skiing.
But I have to give honorable mention to a not as funny but just so well written joke. Rob is about to call Laura about her career prospects. Buddy says, don’t do anything rash. Sally says, leave him alone, it’s his rash.
(Dishonorable mention to Sally’s jokes about needing a husband. They are getting old and I would like them to stop.)
Assorted thoughts on life in the 1960s
Laura’s dancing at the beginning of the episode was odd looking to me. I guess it’s just dated. I kept waiting for it to be a comedy setup. That she’d get injured or something. Not that it’d be interpreted as good.
People watched sing-songy variety shows on TV backed then apparently. Up until this episode--or maybe the previous episode--I hadn’t put much thought into what the fictional Alan Brady Show was supposed to be. But I guess it’s a sing-songy variety show. And I guess people liked that sort of thing. I haven’t done a “checking in with my mom” section on this blog recently and probably should have on this topic. Maybe in upcoming posts I will get her take on ‘60s variety shows
The 1960s attitude on traditional gender roles were on heavy display. Buddy was laying it on thick about disdain for working women, e.g. “losing a wife, gaining a roommate.” (Buddy has plenty more borderline sexist analogies about working women sprinkled throughout.) Mel checks with Rob first about career decisions concerning Laura. Rob can’t cook, even a frozen dinner. Eventually Laura conforms to this too, admitting she’d wants Rob to take her away from all this, doesn’t want to be a dancer, she wants to be a wife.
Final thoughts
Sometimes I question if were are splitting the baby to some extent when it comes to working. At least at this point now that our youngest is less than a couple years to middle school. That is should we go full traditional model or full dual income model not this mixed economy model we’ve got going on? And sometimes I think maybe we’re doing exactly the work-life integration model that 2021 calls for.
#s1#e8#the dick van dyke show#sitcoms#tv#dick van dyke#mary tyler moore#1960s#work#marriage#happiness#money
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sleep-over | b.d.
it’s been years since bill denbrough’s been to an actual sleepover. but when someone invites him over for the night, he can’t seem to pass up the opportunity to join them.
word count: 3,313
warnings/included: fluff, fem!reader
request: (from anonymous) “hiii could i please request a bill denbrough fic? you can decide what it’s about but just lots of fluff and something really cute”
a/n: repost bc my tumblr tags didn’t work on the last one and i didn’t realize until now,, also based off of this song
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“Do you...do you want to come over?” y/n asked. Those were the first words to spill from her mouth when she dialed Bill’s phone at twelve-o-one a.m. She didn’t have to look out her window to know it was late because of the darkness that engulfed her room, but she also knew she had Bill wrapped around her finger and he’d do anything for her if she asked.
“Luh-like a ss-sleepover?” Bill’s shoulder was pressing his phone to his ear as he paced back and forth in his room. He looked out his window to see nothing. Just a dark abyss that beckoned for him, the same way y/n did from over the phone.
“Yeah. Like a sleepover.” y/n thought back to the multiple sleepovers she and he had before when they were younger.
When dusk ate the day and it got too late, Bill would stay the night at the y/l/n’s house. Her mother would have y/n’s brother keep an eye on the two of them because god knows what would happen if the two were left alone (even at an early age).
“Loser has to fit five marshmallows in their mouth,” y/n declared as she was setting up Candyland. She already had dibs on the purple gingerbread man so Bill supposed he’d just have to play as yellow.
“Oh-oh-okay.” A wide smile formed on a young Bill Denbrough’s mouth and his chest moved in sync with the guffaws he was trying to contain. “B-b-but I don’t think your...your mouth is that big.”
y/n’s grin matched his and Bill had gotten cocky that night because he had found y/n’s gingerbread man crossing the rainbow finish line before his and he could only hold three of the Jumbo Jet-Puffs in his mouth.
“I’ll b-be ri-right over.” Bill had unintentionally slammed the receiver back on the dial pad. He had never been so fast to pack up in his entire life, but he also didn’t take much; just a fresh pair of boxers, a change of basketball shorts, a t-shirt similar to the one he was wearing, and his toothbrush. It had been forever ago since he and a friend like Stan or Mike spent the night at each other’s houses. It had been a lifetime ago since he spent the night at y/n’s house.
He walked—no—ran out the door, almost forgetting his shoes in the process (which he slipped on without socks). His duffle bag was light on his arm and threatened to slip off more than once if Bill hadn’t been careful. He made it to y/n’s house in record’s time, but he also lived four blocks away.
Bill waited outside of y/n’s door. His fingers fought with each other and he noticed that the green porch light was still on.
“What are you doing?” y/n called down from above. She could freely yell into the earth’s crisp air because the neighborhood was asleep, and she didn’t have to worry about her brother who was sleeping in one of the dorms Duke University provided.
“I didn’t know if I should knock or not,” Bill answered honestly. He knew y/n was rolling her eyes at his response whether he could see her face clearly or not. He could hear her loud footsteps—rushed and enthusiastic—from inside the house as she trampled down the stairs to let him in.
“Hi!��� She looked up at him wide-eyed and bushy-tailed because Bill stood tall and lean while y/n was like a dainty sprig—fragile and still waiting for spring to bloom—at least compared to him.
A smile couldn’t help but draw itself on Bill’s face when she greeted him. She was dressed in a white tank top and cotton sleep shorts and it was in that moment when Bill realized how much she’d grown. How much they’d all grown.
“Are you ready?” y/n eyed him curiously because it’d been seconds since she said anything and Bill had yet to reply.
“Ye-yeah,” Bill said. He stepped in. “Where?” Gulp. “Where should I puh-puh-put this?” He held up the seemingly empty duffle and y/n took it from him only to toss it aside next to the potted plant that greeted guests as they walked in.
“We can come back for it later. Now come on.” She was dragging him back outside. “I need an adventure!” She locked the door behind them with her golden house key she had turned into a necklace by feeding a length of black lace through the middle hole. She wore that thing everywhere she went.
“Ad-adventure?” One of Bill’s untrimmed eyebrows raised and y/n nodded as soon as the word left his mouth. “I th-th-hought this was a s-sl-sleepover.”
y/n giggled. Her small hand only covered a third of his as she grabbed it and led him from her front lawn and across the street. “Who actually sleeps at a sleepover?”
That was true. As he recalled, the last time he ‘slept over’ at Richie Tozier’s house, neither of them had actually closed their eyes.
Bill hadn’t noticed he was now in front and y/n stood a few paces behind him until he felt the warmth of her hand leave his. She was taking the time to light the cigarette she had balanced between her bottom and top lip. Bill chuckled softly at the sight behind him. She was a sight for sore eyes.
He stepped back to meet her figure whose nimble fingers were concentrating on flicking the purple BIC at hand.
“Nuh-need help?” Bill took the lighter from her and it came to life with one swift move of his thumb.
“Yo-you know s-s-s-smoking is... Once you start, you cuh-can’t s-s-s-top.” Bill said this as if her were a father, telling his child about the dangers of drug usage. But he still lit the stick that was poking from y/n’s pouting lips.
She took a drag from the cigarette. It was long and she coughed afterward because she hated the taste. Bill could tell she wasn’t an experienced smoker and that this had probably been her second pack. “I’m already addicted,” she said. The cigarette muffled her words. But it wasn’t the nicotine she was addicted to. She was addicted to fitting in.
Bill shook his head which he’d inadvertently thrown back while he was consumed in laughter. “You guh-guh-got an-hother one?” He asked and y/n reached in the elastic of her waistband to grab a pack of Mavericks (a gift from Bev). The box was full except for one and she had also stashed a twenty-dollar bill in the gaping space between the tobacco sticks.
“I didn’t take you for a smoker,” y/n said while tossing him a smoke.
“Fuh-first time for eh-everything.” Bill shrugged and lit the end like a natural. It wasn’t his first time, he just said that to make y/n feel better.
The two walked in comfortable silence. y/n was still trailing behind, but only to admire Bill’s frame under the white moonlight—not to enjoy her barely smoked cigarette because maybe she wanted pink lungs until she was old and wrinkled and had to have be waited on hand and foot at the nursing home.
It took them ten minutes to arrive at a worn-down gas station and it would’ve taken them five if y/n wasn’t lollygagging or if Bill didn’t stop to point at the stars every three seconds.
“Lo-ook at that one!” He’d say with the innocence of a child. His sneakers would make a scraping sound against the abandoned road when he came to a halt and y/n would bump into his shoulder because she never looked where she was going.
“It kind of looks like the mole on the back of your-“ Bill nudged her, causing her to wobble and drop the Maverick. It was one with nature now. Good riddance.
Bill put out his own half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray that sat on top of the garbage can next to the glass doors of the QwikTrip.
It was bright inside. Too bright. The empty gas station felt completely different from when they were slumming it in the outside and dancing to the sound of crickets chirping.
But y/n didn’t notice. She was too busy in her own world, mixing together a cherry and coke flavored slushie to make cherry coke. She watched in childlike wonder at the contents inside the slushie machine that whirled ‘round and ‘round so the ice could mix thoroughly with the syrup (a slushie with an imperfect ice-to-syrup ratio was not a slushie; it was just flavored ice). She didn’t notice the guy working the cash register who was obviously checking her out.
But Bill did.
An odd feeling struck at his heart which was now beating faster as he watched the greasy boy about their age eye his childhood friend.
“H-have you ever dr-dr-“ Bill paused. “Had alcohol?” Bill wondered aloud. y/n had just finished preparing Bill’s slushie for him—plain banana—so her attention could now focus on just him. Internally, Bill was banging his head against the wall for asking such a stupid question. But that’s what y/n made him in recent developments: stupid.
Every teenager drinks he thought to himself. But y/n wasn’t like every teenager.
“No.” y/n shook her head and Bill found his eyes roaming to the liquor case in the back of the store.
They both knew what each other meant and Bill just about dashed to the fridge the same way he dashed out his door when y/n called him that night.
y/n was waiting for him at the paying counter. She took small sips at her cherry coke slushie but luckily Bill didn’t take too long. He came back, holding a clear bottle of liquid that y/n didn’t know the name of. He set the glass on the counter and reached in his pocket only for his heart to fall twelve meters into its grave because he left his wallet at home.
“Don’t worry about it,” y/n reassured. Her hand settled on his momentarily. “I’ll get it. Just wait outside.”
So he did. But waiting outside nearly killed him.
“These please.” y/n gave the stranger her biggest smile, teeth and all, as she pushed the bottle of gin and two slushie cups across the counter for him to scan.
“Was that your boyfriend?” The cashier asked. His face could be mistaken for a pepperoni pizza and his blonde hair was uncombed. The graveyard shift really does some things to people.
“No...” y/n blushed and the stranger thought it was because she found him attractive. It was actually the idea that other people thought of Bill and her as a couple that caused y/n’s cheeks to tint. y/n looked up at the boy through her long lashes and it should be counted as a crime to not know the effect you have on the people around you.
A sly smile reached all the way to the boy’s eyes. “You know what? It’s on me.” He printed out her receipt. There were just three items marked as $0.00. The only numbers that added up to something were the ones on the bottom which he said was his phone number. “Call me.” He winked.
Bill felt like he was being stabbed all from watching the two flirt and before another invisible knife could make another incision in his already delicate heart, y/n was out the door. Two diabetes-filled cups occupied both hands while a plastic bag hung from her arm.
“Hi!” She said this in the same way she greeted him.
Bill covered his mouth when he coughed before sputtering out a hi.
She sat down on the curb outside of the gas station, her legs crossed like a pretzel. She sat both cups down, taking a sip from both straws. Her tropical-flavored chapstick tainted his red straw and Bill would taste pineapple mixed with banana later when he took a sip.
y/n’s mouth tingled at the taste of banana slushie. Who the hell gets a banana slushie? She supposed she’d never get used to the taste, but it was worth a try.
Bill took a seat on the rough pavement next to her. He knew his ass would hurt once he got up, especially if they would sit like this for a while, but he didn’t care.
“D-d-do you want… muh-muh-maybe wuh-want to g-g-go somewhere no… nobody will see?” Bill asked tentatively.
y/n smiled with the plastic still between her teeth. It was a more pleasant feeling than rolled-up tobacco. “Who would even see us here?”
Bill laughed but he thought back to how the cashier was eyeing her while she fixed her slushie. It wasn’t the same way he’d look at her. It was slimy and gross. But that was behind them now as he slipped an arm around her and held her close.
His shirt was old and worn, but it felt soft and homey against the skin of her cheek. She nuzzled close into his chest, feeling his ribcage and smelling the Old Spice that lingered from when he applied it earlier in the afternoon.
She hadn’t been this close since their last sleepover.
They were thirteen and y/n had originally invited him over to watch High Society on the new television set her parents bought and finally got around to setting up in the den. She promised she wouldn’t get jealous if he stared at Grace Kelly because he’d tell her the same about Gregory Peck. But Bill didn’t get the chance to stare because the ribbon was detached from the VHS, ruining their whole plans.
Bill wouldn’t have stared anyway—not when there was someone worth staring at who sat on the couch next to him.
“I’m so sorry.” It must’ve been the tenth time she apologized but Bill only waved his hand like how he wished he could wave the rest of her worries away. “I didn’t know it was all screwy... It’s been years since I’ve actually put the damn thing in.”
“Don-don’t-t worry ab-b-bout it,” Bill said. He glanced up at the clock on the mantle. It was getting late and the beginning of a sunset could now be seen from outside the living room window.
“You should be getting home.” y/n was looking at the clock with him. Bill shook his head.
“Ih-it’s ff-fine.” He shoved a handful of popcorn that y/n popped herself in his mouth. “Do-do you h-h-have an eh-eh-extra toothbrush? O-o-or I cuh-cuh-could leave early.”
y/n knew what he was referring to and a smile graced her already angelic lips. She was getting excited just at the thought of having a companion by her side during the witching hour. y/n jumped to her feet and skipped over to Bill on her bare feet. “What will you sleep in?... I could offer you my nightgown!” She laughed at the image in her head which projected a picture of a scrawny Bill Denbrough wearing one of y/n’s frilly nightdresses even she didn’t wear anymore.
“I cuh-cuh-can ju-just sleep in th-th-this.” He shrugged and y/n could only think that boys were strange.
By the time both of them had brushed their teeth, Bill was already tuckered out. Maybe it was from watching y/n mess with the VHS player for so long. Or maybe it was from running over to y/n’s house when she had excitedly announced her parents set up a new television set and she wanted him to be the first one over to experience it and his legs were still tired from carrying him.
“Do you want to watch a different movie? I’d hate to invite you over just to not do anything.” y/n picked at her fingernails, too afraid to meet Bill’s eye because she was scared he hated her.
Bill could never hate her.
“Nah.” Bill spread out on her double bed that she had made prior. He sunk into the plush covers and felt himself doze off until y/n hit him with a pillow.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She was hovering over him, scared that she’d fall and break her neck if she lost balance.
“Sl-sleeping.” Bill closed his eyes once more. “I’m kuh-kuh-kinda t-t-tired.”
“Move over.” y/n wasn’t tired, but she’d do whatever Bill wanted. She laid down next to him and there couldn’t possibly be enough room on the bed for both of them—at least with the way Bill was spread out.
She snuggled close to him, able to smell the toothpaste he used and the natural smell of vanilla that clung to his skin.
But right now, Bill didn’t want the night to end as they sat three years older and in an empty parking lot. If BIll had one wish, he’d wish this night would last forever. Just him and her and the space surrounding them.
y/n’s eyelids felt heavy and her legs felt gelatin-like. She fell into a dreamlike trance while Bill’s arm acted as a blanket around her, but she didn’t want the night to end like this.
“Ar-are you t-t-tired?” Bill asked. y/n could feel his arm remove itself from her and she visibly shivered.
“No,” she lied but he knew better than that.
“I’ll wuh-wuh-walk you h-home.”
Their trek back to y/n’s house was slower than it was when they left it. y/n didn’t mind. She basked in the presence of Bill’s calming aura and Bill felt the same. Both of them, however, were too afraid to tell each other that.
y/n could barely keep herself stood upright on her own. Bill had to stabilize her with his left hand. His right hand was gently figuring out a way to remove the key necklace that hung from her neck.
“That tickles!” y/n giggled loudly when the icy tips of his fingers brushed her sensitive skin.
“Shh,” Bill whisper shouted. “Th-there are puh-puh-people sleeping.” He looked at the time on his digital watch. Not for long, anyway.
“Shh,” y/n echoed back to him.
The front door creaked open. Bill cringed and hoped it wouldn’t wake her parents, but y/n told him it shouldn’t matter because they were heavy sleepers. He trusted her.
When both of them stepped in, y/n was the one to shut the door just like she had when they left. Afterward, they tip-toed up the stairs. Bill clutched his duffle bag and y/n still had the plastic one which contained the alcohol.
“Fuck...” y/n giggled at the curse word that left her lips. “Marry, or kill.”
“What’re m-my options?” Bill slurred. He was too scared to look up at her, so he looked at the dark ceiling. He was sprawled out on her bed—taking up most of the room—like he did when they were thirteen.
“Me, Beverly, and...” y/n sighed. She forgot the name of the girl who sat in front of her in math class. “Henrietta Simons.”
“Huh-who’s Henrietta?” Bill asked, but he already knew his answer.
“Someone you should kill.” y/n shrugged and stared at the ceiling with him, trying to find out what was so interesting about it.
“Kuh-kill Henrietta,” Bill said, and a proud smile found its way on y/n’s lips. “Fuck-ck Bev, an-” He didn’t really have to finish after that.
“You wouldn’t have sex with me?” y/n asked. She was only teasing but Bill knew she wouldn't have said that if she was sober.
“It-it’s not luh-luh-like th-that.” Bill took a deep breath and he didn’t know if this was the night he wanted to be saying all of this but that’s what everything felt like it was leading up to. “I guh-guess I ju-just want t-to marry you.” Bill closed his eyes at the drunken words that thought would be okay to leave his mouth.
“I wanna marry you too,” y/n said through a series of hiccups and a fit of laughter.
They both knew what was coming next. And even though neither of them didn’t want the night to end, it had to.
#it 2017#it 2019#it chapter 1#it chapter 2#it x reader#it imagine#it fanfic#it fic#losers x reader#losers club x reader#bill denbrough#bill denbrough x reader#bill denbrough x reader fluff#bill denbrough imagine#bill denbrough fanfic#bill denbrough fanfiction#bill denbrough fluff#bill denbrough fic
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Acne Medication
~majority of treatments are not a cure for acne. acne can come back after you stop using the treatment but this is not true for everyone. one "cure" is accutane but it may not be a permanent solution for people suffering from hormonal acne.~
1. OTC
a. benzoyl peroxide (bp)
works by decreasing the amount of acne causing bacteria on skin (by drying them out). can cause sun sun sensitivity and dryness. apply at night and use a sunscreen and good moisturizer. keep out of eye and mouth area
b. salicylic acid (sa)
increases skin cell turnover causing skin cells to shed. same side effects as bp same directions as bp. c. differin-also increases skin cell turnover but at a more rapid rate. this is the only OTC retinoid available and has been the mainstay of acne and anti aging treatments for many years. the active ingredient is adapalene 0.1%. there are other retinoids available at different strengths but they require a prescription. there has been concern that the use of topical retinoids may cause birth defects akin to accutane but evidence is lacking. however, they still recommend women who are pregnant or breastfeeding to avoid use. differin makes other products but those don't have the active ingredient; gel is the only one with it. same side effects and directions listed above. can use every other night until your skin gets used to it.
2. prescription
a. antibiotics
common antibiotics are doxycycline and bactrim. with the increase in antibiotic resistance, this treatment has fallen out of favor. there has been a lack of data showing long term benefit in reduction of acne with use. most treatments require at least 90 days of medication compliance to show effects but long term antibiotic use can have negative consequences of disrupting your normal gut flora (causing digestive issues etc). can cause nausea/vomiting/diarrhea sun sensitivity depending on the medication prescribed. take as directed.
b. birth control (bc-oral, hormonal) (female only)
has the added benefit of contraception and possible treatment of painful/heavy/irregular periods. the two bc that are FDA approved for acne are YAZ and OrthoTri Cyclin Lo (but others can be used too; these have just been studied and proven to help with acne). these have been available for a long time so many generics exist. it's also possible to get these from online prescription companies. works extremely well for hormonal acne but depending on the person, acne can return once you stop taking it. acne can flare when you start taking it and it takes 3 months for your body to get used to the medication/hormones to regulate. there are certain women who should not take bc: preggos, women over 35, women who are obese, women who smoke, and women who have a history (personal or family) of blood clots or a clotting disorder. bc has a bad rep but has worked well for many people. there's side effects but they vary person to person. one side effect to watch out for (very rare) is blood clots. they typically start in your lower leg and can cause pain, redness, and shortness of breath. CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY IF THIS HAPPENS. this risk is increased if you are in the groups listed above who aren't recommended to take bc or live an extremely non active life. using bc and antibiotics together can decrease the contraceptive effects of bc; use a second form of contraception. take as directed.
c. topical retinoids
see above (differin). there's various retinoids available as prescriptions and at different strengths. your derm/doc can work with you to decide which is best. there are also combo topical retinoid/bp/antibiotic products but aren't prescribed as often due to costs. side effects and usage would be the same as each single entity.
d. spironolactone
not FDA approved but is used off label for acne. historically a (really bad) blood pressure medication. commonly used in women with PCOS or M->F hormone replacement therapy (much higher dose). spironolactone is an anti-androgen (blocks male hormones->decreases hormonal acne). it's typically prescribed with hormonal birth control. can cause birth defects so use 2 forms of contraception and don't get preggo/breastfeed on it. it is a diuretic so it is going to make you pee frequently and dehydrate you. with dehydration comes dryness (everywhere) dizziness and headaches. keep up water intake and have a good moisturizing routine. be careful going from a sitting/laying to standing position. it's a "potassium sparing diuretic" meaning you will hold onto potassium more if you take it. this isn't an issue for young, healthy people but your doc will have you get periodic blood tests to monitor your potassium levels. don't go crazy and eat a bunch of bananas when you're on this. not recommended for men (causes man boobies and blocks male hormones). takes about 3 months to show effects. take as directed. i recommend taking it in the morning/daylight hours so you aren't waking up at night to pee.
e. accutane
accutane has been on the market for many many years and is known to be the only "cure" for acne. (this may not be true for people with hormonal acne) it has an incredibly high success rate but comes with a lot of warnings, precautions, and side effects. main side effect: DRYNESS. LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. basically, only use gentle products with NO ACTIVE INGREDIENTS DO NOT EXFOLIATE. increase your water intake, use moisturizers, sunscreen eyedrops etc. no tanning, no waxing, no lasers, no threading (may vary). leave your body tf alone when you're taking it. check out youtube and reddit for resources when starting treatment. along with dryness, it can cause joint pain(common)/tendon rupture(rare) since the cushions on your joints are water and collagen based. its not recommended to start a new or strenuous workout when you start this medication. another (prob most famous) side effect is depression. this is not a common side effects but it is thought to worsen depression and suicidal ideation in patients with pre existing depression. there's a lot of hoops you need to jump through to start treatment. your derm/doc will go over all of these with you but i'll give you a basic overview. accutane causes horrific birth defects to the fetus in pregnant women. this is well documented. it is important that women do not get pregnant or breast feed during this time. you will be asked to sign a waiver every month (called iPLEDGE) stating that you are aware of this and that you will use 2 forms of contraception. your doctor will more than likely start you on a form of bc when you start treatment. it will ask you to list the contraception. along with the waiver, you will need to take a pregnancy test and a liver test monthly (the liver test is to make sure your triglyceride levels aren't getting high since its a possible side effect). you will also need to meet with your doctor monthly to keep track of side effects, worsening etc. your pharmacist will also be on your iPLEDGE and ask you a series of questions before dispensing the medication to you. you will be given the same info every time. listen to it. every. time. therapy on accutane is 6 months. you will start with a low dose and slowly work to the highest. this is a very serious medication and it is important that you are diligent when you take it. stay on top of iPLEDGE, doctors appointment, preg/blood tests, everything. the severity of side effects can vary from people to people as well. this is why its important you keep in contact with your doctor and pharmacist if you notice something has changed. take the medication at the same time every day and take with a high fat meal to aid digestion. it has a scary and daunting list of potential side effects but people have had wonderful results with the treatment and it has been a cure for many. there are a lot of accutane resources available online (youtube, reddit) along with people documenting their journey. i would recommend watching/reading those before you decide to start therapy.
tldr; typically, if you are treatment naive (never used any acne treatment before) your doc will start you out with OTC treatments and lifestyle/dietary changes. if that doesn't work, they can prescribe antibiotics (unsure if people still do), birth control, or spironolactone. you can use a topical retinoid along with these medications (as per your doc's choice) accutane is considered to be the big guns and not used until other therapies have failed since its a serious medication that requires the patient to be responsible. i'm pretty sure accutane (brand name) isn't available anymore but the generic is isotretinoin. all treatments have a risk of purging so your acne can get way worse before it gets better. it's important to give it 3 months (full skin cell cycle turnover) to see if its working for you.
DISCLAIMER:
i am not your healthcare provider. i don't know anything about you or your health/medication history. everything i wrote is just a general overview of medications/treatments available and is a inclusive but not exhaustive list. your doc and pharmacist will go over all side effects/directions/precautions with you. if your doc tells you something different, LISTEN TO YOUR DOC. do your own research on top of this, do not use as a tool to diagnose; it is only intended to give general information. this list is only relevant to those in the US with providers who follow FDA guidelines/recommendations. i hope this helps; lmk if i can clarify anything. <3
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3. Casual | BTS | Fuckboy!Au
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You’ve known Jungkook for years. He’s what they call ‘a fuckboy’ — so what? What he does with other girls is none of your business. However, when you meet his friends he doesn’t seem to feel the same way. ›› AU: Fuckboy / University ›› Genre: Smut / Fluff / Angst ›› Rating: 18+ Explicit (sex + mild violence) ›› Pairings: JHS x Reader, MYG x Reader, JJK x Reader, KTH x Reader ›› Word Count:: 4.4k Warnings Include: violence, swearing, anxiety, distress, mentions of drug usage, mentions of sex. A/N: And this is where the drama starts, you guys really didn't think i wouldn't angst this did you?? After all, I do love my angst. But Ill tell you upfront that it's no...cry your eyes out someone dies my heart hurt kinda angst. It's....drama angst and stuff...beware of the tags i guess.
You woke up in a good mood, despite the fact that Hoseok’s alarm rudely woke you from your slumber. His arm was still draped over your waist, and your legs had entangled throughout the night. He huffed, breath puffing out against your forehead. You smiled in return, stirring in his hold and slightly moving away.
“Morning,” he said, voice husky and a little rough.
“Hey.”
“I sadly am going to have to show you the door within now and an hour.” Hoseok sat up, covers falling around his waist as he stretched his arms above his head. “Do you want to take a shower before you go?”
After him asking you to stay you found it no use to ask him about his intentions, he was just being nice. So you smiled and nodded, because you realised that both of you had gone to sleep in a sweaty heap. Even though he’d changed his sheets and such. “That would be nice.”
He asked you to leave the door unlocked if you didn’t mind. So when you were in the shower behind the curtain, he was shaving and doing his own thing by the sink. Not that it seemed as if he had any other intentions, politely leaving as soon as you asked him to when you got out. Their bathroom was nice, like the rest of the house. And you took note of the fact that it was neatly organised and properly cleaned. An unusual sight, but something you appreciated.
“Anything to eat for the lady?” he asked, grinning as he put his shirt on. “Do you need a ride?”
“No, I’ll take the bus.” You shrugged, putting your jeans and shirt back on. It was really the first time you’d so comfortably left someone’s home after hooking up with them. Hoseok was all smiles and kind gestures, but his light touches to your bare waist, or eyes flitting over your skin didn’t go unnoticed. Not that you hadn’t let your eyes ghost over him, the lean muscle of his chest, lightly defined abs, that nipple piercing. “You really are trying to be a gentleman aren’t you?”
Hoseok lifted his eyes from his phone, sitting on the bed with his legs spread and arm supported behind him. “Well, I’m trying to be nice. I don’t think gentleman is a good word for someone who just had a one night stand. Also, please eat something before you leave.” He pouted, lips pursing out and revealing two small dimples in his cheeks. His red hair was falling over his brow, softening out his features and for a moment you felt yourself sway.
You shook your head with a chuckle. “Okay, I’ll bite.”
He lead you down the stairs, the mansion still in a state of mess and post-party rubble. There were cups, stains on the floor, the rooms still void of any type of furniture. In the kitchen he slipped behind the bar and turned on the coffee machine. “So, any requests?”
“It’s 6am, an apple will do.” You said, catching it as he threw one at you from the bowl located in the corner.
For himself he grabbed a banana, adding milk to his coffee and leaving yours black as to your request. “So, about last night.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”
A chuckle left his lips at your immediate defense. “Nothing bad, don’t worry. I just wanted to ask ab-“
“Ohhhh look what we have here.” A lithe voice entered the open space, and around the corner came a guy with soft cheeks and jet black hair that was wet from a shower. His eyes fell on you, and he stopped, eyes flitting back to Hoseok, and back to you. “Wait a second,” he pointed a finger at you, brows furrowing in confusion. “Aren’t you Sky?”
Your eyes widened at the comment, had Jungkook finally mentioned you?
“Jimin, don’t point, it’s rude.” Hoseok said, throwing something at the other that he ditched.
“HEY!” he yelped. “Wait…” he said again, rubbing his eyes with the long sleeves of his shirt slipping past his hands.
For a second you weren’t sure as to what he was going to say, but Hoseok’s face said something different. He wasn’t really up for waiting for the other’s comments. “Why are you even up so early Chim?”
Jimin lost his train of thoughts and perked up, eyes widening slightly. “Oh, Woojin left a few hours ago already, I slept and took a bath. But now I’m hungry.”
“Was he any good?”
The others face contorted. “His mouth was much better than the rest of him. Should’ve left it at a good blowjob. I don’t think he had any remote idea of what a prostate is.” His bluntness surprised you, the image he painted here in his oversized striped shirt wasn’t anything to fit the words that just left his mouth. He looked up at you again, moving over towards Hoseok and pouring a cup of coffee for himself, with a lot of milk. “What about you?” he asked. “Did Hoseok live up to the rumours?” The wiggle of his eyebrow didn’t go past you, and you weren’t sure how to answer.
“Do you guys always do this?” you diverted your attention to Hoseok.
“We don’t really have anything to hide.”
Jimin suddenly almost choked on his coffee, coughing and bending over the marble counter. “Wait, Hoseok, this is Jeongguk’s girlfriend?! ARE YO-“
Hoseok clasped a hand over the others mouth. “Stop screaming Jimin the others are sleeping. She’s not his girlfriend.”
“You’re not?”
You shook your head. “I’m not, trust me.”
The sound of something falling upstairs startled all of you, it was followed by thudding footsteps on the stairs, and a door slamming. “For God’s sake Park Jimin can’t you be quiet for one fuc-“
You were as startled as him, the moment you heard his voice, the second he came into the kitchen to search out the source of his friend’s screaming. His eyes met yours, and his sleepy face straightened out and showed signs of surprise. For a brief moment his eyes were wide, lips parting. Until he put the pieces together.
“Which of you?” he said, glaring down at Jimin and Hoseok. The way he lowered his voice, angrily, startled you even more. Your initial reaction was to stand up, to move towards him, Hoseok following.
“Was it you?” He said, pointing at the red head. “I thought I told you to leave her the fuck alone.”
“Gguk, stop.” You said, looking at the way he was dressed. His skinny jeans were half unbuttoned, his shirt messed up and showing signs of stains from drinks. He must’ve passed out like that, you thought. “I was about to leave.”
He pursed his lips, locking his jaws in a sign of displeasure. “Really Sky?” he snarled. “Really?”
Hoseok’s hand wrapped around your upper arm, you weren’t sure why. “What Jeongguk? What are you going to say? Because I think you’re about to dig yourself a deeper hole than you already have.”
Jeongguk scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Gguk, just stop it. You’re drunk.” Hoseok said from behind you. “I’ll take her home.”
“You know Hoseok, you’re probably the first, but you’re not going to be the last.” Jeongguk bit, eyes dark and angry as they settled on you. “Why’d you do this? To get back at me because you feel I’m being a dick to you? Are you really that pe-“
“Hey!” Hoseok stepped in, pushing Jeongguk back by the chest. “Don’t talk down to her like that. What’s wrong with you.”
You observed your friend, the unsteady stance of his shoulder, the watery gaze in his eyes. He wasn’t drunk? Jeongguk was a lot of things when drunk, but he wasn’t angry.
“You don’t get to tell me how to talk to my friend!” he pushed Hoseok off, the other stumbling back towards you. Your friends voice was wavering, rough with the remnants of the night. “Do you really have that little self respect that the first thing you do when you find out I have a friend is fuck her?”
“Oh stop it Jeongguk. Don’t be such a petty little bitch. You know I’m not out to get you. So what, we hooked up, is her sexual life any of your business?” Hoseok’s shoulders tensed as he spoke, and you were unsure of what to do. You’d never really seen Jungkook talk down to someone other than his brother.
You were painfully aware of Jimin’s presence behind you, deadly quiet. “Gguk, just leave it be. I’m going to go home.”
“Sure, go home. Whatever Sky. I knew this was going to happen and I was try-“
“You what?” you countered, stepping past Hoseok. “You were trying to protect me? Or protect yourself? What is it you’re worried about? That people think I’m cheating on you? That people find out you’re friends with a slut?”
“I don’t need people talking about you and me, especially not about you hooking up with all of my friends.”
“All of your friends?! One friend Gguk, one! Who mind you, you’ve never mentioned to me.” You bit, trying not to raise your voice too much. “And you know what, frankly I don’t care. Because I enjoyed it. It was a good night. And maybe, maybe if you hadn’t been such a dick, we could’ve just come here to party together and have a good time. Maybe you wouldn’t be here, trying to drag me in front of your friends. But all you’re doing right now, is embarrassing yourself, not me.”
Jeongguk stared at you for a second, stunned by your reaction. “Whatever Sky, as I said, I’m not surprised. You and I both know you’re just as bad as I am when it comes to sleeping around.”
Hoseok seemingly had enough of the situation, he moved forward again, pushing Jeongguk back. “Go back to your fucking room Jeongguk, before you say something you’re going to regret.”
“Don’t touch me.” Your friend tried to push Hoseok’s hands away, but the other didn’t let up, trying to direct him back towards the stairs.
“I can’t believe you would stoop so low as to talk to your friend like this. We all knew you’re not the most agreeable, but this Gguk. This is fucking pathetic-.”
The moment the word left Hoseok’s mouth Jeongguk lashed out, his fist connecting with his face. Hoseok staggered back, groaning and stumbling before falling over onto his backside.
You were by Jeongguk in a second, hand on his chest, shoving him back. “Outside!” you yelled. He glared down at you with a big heave of his chest. “Outside, Jeon Jeongguk! Right the fuck now!” you pushed him, and to your surprise he let you. “Now!”
Doors opened downstairs, and you turned to look at Jimin sitting by Hoseok who was holding his cheek. Two people rushed down the stairs, and soon both Jin and Taehyung were standing by you, staring at the scene in front of them.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Jin said, looking between Hoseok and Jeongguk.
You turned to your friend again. “Don’t make me repeat myself.” You threatened, and he listened, turning his back to you and slamming the door open before stepping into the front lawn.
“What the fuck Jeongguk?! What is wrong with you.”
He stumbled forward, bracing himself against the wall before sitting down with his head between his knees. His breathing was picking up, coming out in ragged pants that shook his frame.
Your heart sank. “Oh, Gguk.” You sighed, crouching down in front of him and rubbing his shoulder. “Hey, take deep breaths.” He shook his head, hands coming up to pull at his hair. “Ggukie, stop that. Breathe.” You took his hands in yours, taking deep breaths to show him. “In…and out.”
It took a little while, but he calmed down, and when he looked up at you you saw how blown his pupils were. “Gguk, are you on something?” Everything, from the way he’d come stumbling down, to the anger seeping through his carefully sewn cracks, would make sense if he was on something. Normally, this wasn’t his reaction to getting yelled at, and he certainly wouldn’t raise his voice at you the way he did.
He swallowed thickly, eyes watery and breath still shaking as he tried to advert his gaze. “Sky.”
You took his chin in your hand, forcing him to look at you. There was a small crusty lining of blood around one of his nostrils, and it took you a few seconds to put two and two together. “Jeongguk, please don’t tell me you’re taking coke?”
His big doe eyes told you enough, and you let go of him. “Sky, it was just a one time thing. I’ve never done it before.”
“Don’t tell me that Gguk, you and I both know that shit like that is dangerous. You shouldn’t be on it. And you certainly shouldn’t be on it when you’re out with strangers.”
“I -“
“Jeon fucking Jeongguk, what the flying fuck has gotten into that dense head of yours.” A loud voice interrupted your conversation. Seokjin came outside, blonde bangs doing nothing to hide his angry expression. However, it softened lightly when he saw Jeongguk sitting on the floor with tears in his eyes. “Fuck, Gguk.” He knelt down beside you, looking at you briefly. “I’m surprised I didn’t recognise you sooner.”
“Me too.” You stated.
“What happened?” he asked, voice calmer now. Jin hadn’t changed much in the years you hadn’t seen him. He used to date your sister back when he was still in high school. “Is this what I think it is, or?”
You shrugged, letting go of Jeongguk’s hand, watching as he let it limply fall between his legs. “I slept with Hoseok, he got upset, punching ensued.”
“Jeongguk, what the fuck?” Jin scolded. Jin knew who you were, his childhood friend, not his girlfriend. So there would be no pesky questions from him, and he would probably be sure to tell everyone the details. “You need to apologise to Hoseok. You know the house rules as well as I do, and violence isn’t on the list of things that we tolerate. You can’t just go around punching people because you’re upset.”
Your chest was tight with guilt, but also with anger. As you looked at your best friend trying to hold himself together, his anger the result of something he hadn’t yet disclosed with you. That you were sure of now. “Jeongguk. You need to talk. Not per say to me, you can talk to Jin. But you need to talk to someone.” You knew they weren’t extremely close, but Jin had always been somewhat of an older brother to him where his actual brother lacked support. “You can’t go around trying to hurt me because you’re hurt and afraid. I’m not going to keep enduring it.”
He grit his teeth, looking away still. “Whatever.”
The door to the mansion opened again, and you didn’t really look up to see who it was until a hand grabbed you by the arm and dragged you up. “Hey!” you called, trying to fend him off.
“I’m taking you home.” Yoongi said, voice groggy from sleep. “Let’s go.”
“What the fuck, let me go.” You pushed his hand off, looking at him with wide eyes.
His sleepy eyes scanned over the situation, lips pulled into a tight line, body dangerously tense. “I’m taking you home, Hoseok asked me to.”
You sighed, knowing it was probably better to leave the scene before Jeongguk would get any wore. He would never let up with all his friends around like this. You just hoped he would come clean to you once his anger blowed over. “Jin, can you please try to look after him a bit?” you asked, knowing well that Jin knew about some of the problems Jeongguk was dealing with. Maybe not the worst of it, but certainly the friction with his family. “As for you Jeongguk, I love you, but what you’re doing right now? It’s not okay, and if you don’t stop I’m not coming back for you.”
Yoongi dragged you off again before you could get a good glance at your friend’s reaction. You stopped him once he reached his car. “I can take myself home, thank you very much.”
He scoffed, giving your a good once over, shamelessly. “Do you realise how distressed you are? You’re shaking.”
For a moment you stopped to feel your body, the trembling in your legs, the pounding of your heart. “I don’t care.”
Yoongi sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair, shirt lifting up with the motion to show pale skin stretched over narrow hips. “Listen. Hoseok asked me to take you home, and to be frank I don’t want to be near Jeongguk right now. So you can get in the fucking car, or you can walk, I don’t care, but I know that I’m going to leave right now.”
He unlocked his car, getting inside without another word. The shakiness in your legs won you over, and you slid into the passenger seat with a huff. “You know.” He said while starting the engine. “This is the exact reason as to why we don’t want girls around the house.”
“What?”
“If we keep girls coming around the house regularly, people are bound to get hurt. Don’t think you’re special, it’s not the first time we fought over a chick.” His car was simple, black interior, black exterior, you didn’t take note of the brand but it was simple compared to Gguk’s and Jin’s. His voice was sharp, despite the roughenss to it. You tried to not let his words get to you. “Care to tell me what happened.”
You sighed, leaning your head back against the seat. Being in a car with a semi stranger wasn’t your favourite way to spend your time. And to be honest, the tenseness of him was palpable even where you sat. “You’re Yoongi, right?”
“Yeah, Gguk tell you?”
“Hmm.” You hummed, trying to distract yourself from the way his hands were clenched around the steering wheel. His skin was pale, but the veins in his hands stood out as he moved. “Has this happened before?”
Yoongi looked over at you, eyes dark, mouth still in a thin line. “You mean Hoseok getting punched? No.”
“I mean Jeongguk being angry at someone.”
“No. It’s usually Jin, or Chim, or Taehyung that get into squabbles over hookups. Or some of the guys that used to live here before. Hoseok isn’t stupid like that, and we’re not aware of most of the girls your boyfriend hooks up with.” The tone of his voice was levelling, but the rasp remained.
You shook your head. “He’s not my boyfriend, if you think this happened because I cheated on him then you’re wrong. If anything I have as much of an idea as you as to why he decided to punch Hoseok in the face, he was only trying to protect me.”
With your hands trained on Yoongi’s hands, rather than his face, it was hard to miss the way his grip tightened. “So you’re telling me, that Jeongguk punched Hoseok in the face over nothing?”
“I mean, I wouldn’t call it nothing. But it wasn’t anything big.” You mumbled, knowing that you friend was totally in the wrong here. Hoseok was only trying to help you, which you were still confused by. Jeongguk should’ve let up and gone upstairs, but instead he chose to push and got hurt. It was his own fault.
Yoongi grumbled something under his breath.
“What?”
“I said that I’m going to fucking punch him back once I get home. If he thinks he can just go-“
“Don’t do that.” You immediately said. “God, please don’t do that.” It’s not that Gguk couldn’t take a hit, and you knew that he deserved it. But if his brother or dad found out it wouldn’t just be him that got into trouble. It would be Yoongi as well.
Yoongi scoffed, running a hand through his hair again. “Give me one good reason.”
“Aside from the fact that his dad might sue you?”
As response you didn’t get much more than an arched eyebrow, giving you enough of an idea that he was expecting you to come up with something else.
Jeongguk really had overstepped himself today, and the past few days. In your whole 10 years of knowing him, he’d never been this bad with you. Sure, you’d had you disagreements, but you’d never felt this close to loosing him. The way he behaved made you feel as if there could’ve been something that you’d done, something that had caused him to turn on you. But you’d been nothing but open with him, and sure he couldn’t be mad at you for that. It made you think that maybe he really was hiding something, something unrelated to you. Something that was making him anxious and he was trying to deflect by shoving everyone out, including you.
Suddenly, you remembered his text, how he’d said that everything was just becoming too much. That should’ve been your queue, that should’ve told you that he was trying to communicate but didn’t know how to. That he was struggling with something. And you’d been too petty to realise it.
Even though part of you knew that it wasn’t your fault, and that you had every right to be mad at him, you still felt guilty. Part of you felt like it had to apologise to him, but you would do that after he apologised to you. You couldn’t just keep abiding to his needs, he was your friend too after all.
“If I tell you something, are you going to immediately tell all the others?” you asked.
Yoongi glanced at you. “Depends. You’re going to have to take that chance. Where do you live?”
You mumbled the directions to him, before continuing what you started. “Jeongguk he…I’ve known him for over 10 years, and I’ve never had him behave like this towards me. He’s not this distant, this aggressive. He’s been behaving weirdly ever since I came back from the US and I have no idea what’s going on.”
“Why should that stop me from decking him in the face?”
“Because, as much as I think he deserves it, I think he’s not doing okay. As much as you all might think he’s this hard guy with a mean streak who just fucks girls on the regular and treats them like shit, that’s now how I know him. And that’s not how I knew him even when he was doing this last year. Whatever it is that is making him behave like this. It’s either something you don’t want to fuck with, or it is because of me. And if it is the latter I’ll be one to deal out the punches.” Yoongi didn’t react much, apart from a soft hum. “So before you go home, and punch him in the face, realise that it’s probably only going to make it worse. I can assure you, you’re either going to regret it, or you’re going to aggravate him further. And I will not be accountable if he breaks your nose.”
Yoongi relaxed in his seat a little, sagging further into it. “You’re telling me he’s lying to us?”
You shook your head. “No, but he’s put up a pretty strong front. I don’t know if by any chance you guys have been rubbing him wrong, but he’s trying really hard to hold himself together.”
“We’ve been bothering him about you,” he said, frown appearing on his face. “Two weeks ago, he sent me a snapchat, of which I think was your bed. And I accidentally outed him in the group and the guys just joked around about him going soft. Then you appeared and it only kinda amplified it, because we all assumed that our suspicions were confirmed. But I doubt he’d be angry with you over that.”
“Even for me, he’s hard to decipher sometimes. As much as I love him, he can be really confusing when he goes through rough patches. Just…leave him be for a while, he’ll come around after he gets to calm down. If you guys keep pestering him, it’s only going to take longer.”
“You know I could still punch him.” Yoongi grumbled as he pulled up to your street. “You’re giving him way too much credit, Sky. If he’s treating you like shit you should just cut him out. Friends shouldn’t treat friends like shit, no matter how much you love them.”
You let out a dry chuckle at his comment. “Are you close to Hoseok?”
“Yeah.”
“How close?”
Yoongi parked his car in front of your apartment block. “I’ve known Hoseok for about 5 years now, is that really relevant?”
“Just imagine this. You’ve known Hoseok for a long time, I imagine you know him and his behaviours pretty well.” You sat up a little straighter so you could face him. “If he suddenly starts treating you like shit without any proper reason, would you cut him off? You wouldn’t just let someone punch him either even if you knew he was wrong, because you care about him. But by all means, if you think he deserves to be punched, I can’t stop you.”
Yoongi stared at you, and you saw his lips part as if he was going to say something, but then didn’t. He moved his hand to unlock the door for you from his side. Only then he spoke. “I’ll think about it.”
You were about to exit the car as you remembered something. “Can I have Hoseok’s number?”
“No.”
“I just want to apologise to him okay, I promise I’m not going to stalk him or something. You’re all very confident in his ability to snag girls, but I’m not going to fall for that trap.” You said, giving him a blank face.
He sighed. “Fine, just because I think he likes you.”
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Picking up the Pieces
by Sarah Ichioka
Sarah Ichioka writes the keynote essay for Plasticity, a photography series by visual artist Ernest Goh on plastic pollution found on Punggol Beach, Singapore. The photography series was made during Exactly Foundation Art Residency programme 2018-19.
Sarah Ichioka writes the keynote essay for Plasticity, a photography series on microplastics and plastic pollution found on Singapore’s Punggol Beach, by visual artist, Ernest Goh for Exactly Foundation Art Residency programme.
On each page, a new object catches my eye; like jewels, like candy. I turn them over in my mind’s hand, admiring their lustrous surfaces, vivid colours.
My consumer-lust is aroused from its never too-deep sleep. That red shaft would make a stunning cocktail ring; that green streak, a tasty topping for a cake.
Mysterious figures appear on the white horizon. Our gazes meet. A wide-eyed soldier hoists his bayonet aloft. A wrinkled beast—a yak?—cocks a smirk in my direction. And wait, is that a… missile?
But then, suddenly, my fantasy falls to the ground. A bent red bottle cap, its curved white logo instantly recognisable. Intrigue flattens to disgust. These aren’t exotic goods whose heft begs handling; they’re nothing but so many tiny bits of trash.
++++
People who spend their time in or near the water—surfers, divers, sailors—are amongst the most passionate anti-plastic campaigners, because they see and feel the effects of ocean pollution first-hand. Photographer Ernest Goh traces the origin of his personal anti-plastic journey to a wave-borne shopping bag that smothered his face. Other friends—a married couple—have shared with me their experience of snorkeling and watching pieces of discarded plastic float by—including food packaging designed by the husband’s very own company.
Even when mediated through photos or videos, for folks more frequently in shopping malls than in the surf, there is a visual aspect of the plastic pollution crisis that imparts an immediate sense of accountability. That object I see lodged in the sea turtle’s nose is most certainly a plastic straw, just like the one I sucked my kopi peng through this morning; that cigarette lighter inside the ribcage of the albatross chick’s carcass is unmistakably the same item that my husband hides beneath his cufflinks and credit card receipts.
This visually self-evident character differentiates our plastic pollution crisis from some of the concurrent, compound emergencies we humans have created. Take our carbon pollution crisis: I have to believe climate scientists when they tell me that my holiday flights hasten the thawing of the permafrost. Or our nitrogen pollution crisis: I have to trust hydrology experts when they say that runoff from fertiliser used to grow my lunch causes massive downstream dead zones. In such cases, obfuscation and denial are easier to sustain, whether by ourselves, by industry lobbyists or by politicians.
The comparative legibility of our plastic pollution crisis might suggest that it is more politically “solvable” than some of these other potentially existential, yet less easily illustrated crises we face.
Having accepted our culpability, how might we begin to atone for it?
One response offers an appealing narrative of consumer activism: maybe we can (mindfully) shop our way out of this mess, by opting for more durable, reusable items? Certainly making a habit of carrying a water flask, a canvas shopping bag, and a set of bamboo eating utensils is a decent place to start, not least as a conversation starter and signal of one’s concern.
Perhaps the problem can be solved if we try our best to #recyclebetter, as the current Singaporean campaign urges? Or is recycling merely a “fig leaf on consumerism” as Jane Muncke, Director of Zurich's Food Packaging Forum puts it?
Maybe we should just tidy up a bit more? When I was a kid, my father would take me for an annual volunteer clean-up of the coast near our California home. Ending the day with sore muscles and a sack full of bullet casings (from a nearby shooting range), cigarette butts, condoms, deodorant rollers, and crumbling chunks of styrofoam was deeply satisfying to me, as tangible evidence of my personal concern and participation. Last year, I chaperoned my daughter’s preschool class on a similar clean-up outing to Singapore’s East Coast Park. This time, I felt rather less contented, overwhelmed by the seeming futility of our attempts, observing casual littering by park users and the floating trash ready to wash ashore as soon as we’d cleared our patch of beach.
As it happens, in about the same timespan as that between my leaving university and becoming a mother, the global volume of plastic production doubled. The same report that documents this leap estimates that global industries have produced 8,300 million metric tons of plastic since 1950. 6,400 million metric tons of this plastic—that’s roughly 100 times the weight of the concrete used to build the Three Gorges Dam, the world’s largest manmade structure—have become waste, nearly 80% of which sits in landfills or our natural environment. Less than 10% has been recycled, while the remainder has been incinerated (as has until recently been standard practice in Singapore).
In Singapore itself, plastic waste per capita has increased nearly 20 percent over the last 15 years. Looking at this country’s plastic bag usage alone, about 2,640 bags are thrown away every three seconds.
Projecting forward current production and pollution trends, another report predicts by 2050 our oceans could contain more plastics than fish (by weight), while the plastics industry itself could consume 15% of our annual carbon budget, and 20% of global oil production.
While our plastic pollution crisis is so overwhelmingly large, it is also mind-twistingly small. Here I mean small in the sense probed by Goh’s photographs: the scale of the microplastics, and now nano-plastics, whose presence has been documented in nearly every corner of our terrestrial and aquatic habitats, and which are now entering our food chain, with unknown, but potentially toxic effects.
The proximity of Goh’s plastic-strewn Punggol beach to a seafood restaurant seems apt. We study the food chain and hydrological cycles as concepts in school, but when most of us enter the “real” world we conveniently forget the practical implications of our systemic connections with the rest of nature.
Understanding the interconnected nature of plastic pollution’s causes and effects is a kind of reawakening. It destabilises the narrative that sees human culture as separate from the natural environment. That story of separation has been a necessary psychological cover for the exploitation of living systems that underpins nearly every aspect of our current economic and political order. Once we remember that ecocide is suicide, will we continue it?
Have we trashed Earth beyond habitability? No problem, we’ll just migrate to Mars, as deckhands or stowaways on a tech oligarch’s spaceship. But wait, turns out we’ve already trashed outer space too. Parts of broken satellites and rockets currently amount to over 8 million kilos of space waste. Rather like ocean plastics, the larger bits of space waste are fragmenting into smaller and smaller pieces, which interfere with digital communications and might even hinder future spacecraft launches.
So let’s turn our eyes back to our damaged and depleted, yet still living and magnificent planet.
“Reduce, reuse, recycle, refuse”? Yes of course, let’s do that. But politely declining plastic straws and rinsing our Coke bottles is simply not enough. Also—and in my view, more importantly—we must act not just as individual consumers but collectively, as concerned citizens and social beings.
With this in mind, let me leave you with an alternative “4 Rs” to consider:
Rebel: Let us raise our voices together, unashamed to share our grief, rage, and disgust at the devastation that our overconsumption-based society has unleashed all around us, clogging our commons and poisoning our sources of sustenance. Let’s insist on better, for ourselves, and for the complex living systems upon which our survival depends.
Root: Let us ground the solutions to our plastic pollution crisis in the lived history and culture of Singapore and its region*. What local wisdom and practices, from karung guni men, to metal tiffins, to banana leaf wrappers and beyond, might be usefully revisited for contemporary use? How might technological and behavioural innovations ground themselves in Singaporeans’ particular resources and values?
Relate: Let us decipher and then communicate the underlying systems that perpetuate this global crisis. Let’s understand for example, who benefits from the otherwise dangerous proliferation of plastics, and how they exert influence on policies and regulations. Let’s study why some national and local governments have taken action to solve the plastic pollution crisis more swiftly than others, and what successful changes early actors have made. Let’s explore how our plastic pollution crisis intersects with other economic, environmental and social systems.
And finally, Regenerate: Let us draw inspiration from the natural world to craft materials and manufacturing cycles that are truly waste-free. Let’s design, build, and inhabit systems that proactively repair past damage, clean up our rubbish, and co-create the conditions for our living world to flourish. It will be a beautiful sight.
Sarah Mineko Ichioka is a Singapore-based urbanist, curator and writer. She leads Desire Lines, a consultancy for environmental, cultural, and social-impact organisations. www.sarahichioka.com
*Ernest Goh’s MA thesis at Goldsmiths followed a similar vein, looking to historical urban successes to inspire contemporary applications. In Goh’s case, the water fountains of ancient Rome inspired the idea for new public water fountains for Singapore, which will be piloted as a part of this project at ADEX 2019.
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Further reading: https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/
https://polymerdatabase.com/polymer%20classes/Plastics%20Industry%20Facts.html
https://polymerdatabase.com/Polymer%20Brands/Plastic%20Manufacturers.html
https://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/lookup.php (tip: enter “plastic” in the Issue search field)
https://www.edb.gov.sg/en/our-industries/energy-and-chemicals.html
http://singapore-companies-directory.com/categories/singapore_plastics.htm
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Is Technology a Bringer of Great Promise or Great Peril?
The pace of change continuously astounds and bewilders me. I just about remember horses pulling coal carts as a kid and now we’re developing driverless cars. The Internet of Things will be part of our daily life soon and humankind seems to be losing the ability to stand up straight already. How long will it be before we start resembling bananas more than apes with a pronounced curve of the spine and neck from staring down at mobiles?
Mobile Phone Addiction
We’re in the Fourth Industrial Revolution
According to the World Economic Forum, we’re now in the Fourth Industrial Revolution. We’ve already lived through an immense amount of change and who knows what is round the corner. The ever rising march of Artificial Intelligence (AI) shows great promise in many fields for the future but it is also highly controversial and multi-faceted.
Even Elon Musk, the ‘Thomas Edison of the 21st century’ has serious doubts about what we are creating for ourselves. The serial entrepreneur who has had a hand in all types of technology from electric cars, rockets, Paypal, Hyperloop, solar power systems, electric jets to digital technology. The man who is famous for his plans to colonise Mars, further DNA sequencing to identify cures for diseases and viable fusion to create energy for us all for ever.
Mars colonisation
A man who is a bringer of great promise. However Musk also predicts that ‘robots will be able to do everything better than us’ and they will ‘take your jobs, and government will have to pay your wage’. He also believes that we should be very concerned and proactively regulate Artificial Intelligence as it is a ‘risk to the existence of human civilization’ in a way that risks we commonly deal with now are only harmful to a set of individuals in society.
In contrast Mark Zuckerberg, the equally famous entrepreneur of Facebook is more optimistic saying that artificial intelligence will improve life in the future and that naysayers are irresponsible.
Is technology the bringer of great promise?
The positives of AI are certainly immense
“For people with a disability, the Fourth Industrial Revolution will give us super powers”
Birgit Skarstein, Double paralympic athlete and World Rowing Champion, Norway
“Imagine a robot capable of treating Ebola patients or cleaning up nuclear waste.”
Dileep George, artificial intelligence and neuroscience researcher
“Any skilled engineer can take control remotely of any connected ‘thing’. Society has not yet realized the incredible scenarios this capability creates.”
André Kudelski, Chairman and CEO of Kudelski Group
Artificial Intelligence (AI) is already playing a massive role in health care and some believe that there is an AI Healthcare ‘tsunami coming’ that will benefit all. Data currently has the biggest part to play in healthcare providing the chance to revolutionise current healthcare systems.
AI Nurse
Google’s Deepmind Health project mines medical records to provide faster and more detailed records.
IBM Watson is working with oncologists to create treatment plans using data from clinical notes and combining that with research, data and clinical expertise. IBM’s Medical Sieve algorithm analyses radiology images to detect issues faster and more reliably.
The new Babylon app hopes to decrease doctors waiting times by giving medical AI consultations combining a person’s medical history, medical knowledge and a database of diseases using speech recognition. It can also remind patients to take their medication.
Molly is a new virtual nurse which supports patients with chronic diseases in between doctor’s visits.
AiCure checks if patients are taking their medicine and helps them manage their conditions.
Deep Genomics looks for mutations and linkages to disease using genetic and medical data and hopes to predict what will happen when DNA is altered.
Human Longevity offers genome sequencing alongside body scans and checkups to spot diseases in their very early stages.
Atomwise use AI to find existing drugs that could be used for other conditions, therefore, speeding up and reducing costs and potentially avoiding future pandemics.
Berg Health mines data to analyse why some people are insusceptible to certain diseases to help current treatments and discover new drugs.
The future certainly looks bright – but have you started to notice the changes in everyday life that are already impacting our lives?
Is technology the bringer of great peril?
“You cannot wait until a house burns down to buy fire insurance on it. We cannot wait until there are massive dislocations in our society to prepare for the Fourth Industrial Revolution.”
Robert J. Shiller, 2013 Nobel laureate in economics, Yale University
Throughout the globe transportation, communication and education have all improved through high tech. With every improvement, however, there are negative consequences such as resource depletion, increased population and pollution.
In our more mundane everyday activities digital technology is already changing our lives. Many of us are already suffering from distraction, narcissism, expectation of instant gratification, depression, depleted vision and hearing, neck strain and lack of sleep. The National Sleep Foundation found 95% of people when surveyed used electronic devices before sleep and this can cause issues for our overall wellbeing.
We are becoming less dependent now on our memory and more on Google but often feeling that we’re suffering from information overload. If we don’t ‘use our brains’ will we lose our capability to think effectively? Or will we adapt in a different way?
When examining brain scans of frequent internet and mobile users vs occasional users there was twice as much activity in the short term memory and quick decision making area. We are learning to skim where there is too much information. Does that mean that we are becoming shallow thinkers or does it mean our ability to decipher information is actually becoming more efficient?
Technology will affect our jobs
I attended a LinkedIn conference recently on the use of insight and data in recruitment and the potential for AI.
The recruitment landscape is changing rapidly and the McKinsey Global Institute estimates that 46% of the activities in Europe’s top five economies are already susceptible to automation – not in the near future, but right now.
This will affect all of us in some way and we need to be prepared for the shift towards even more hi tech based skills. There aren’t enough key digital workers or software developers already in many countries and this situation will only be exacerbated as the years go by. We may need a future full of coders or at the very least software that professionals can use that removes the need to code.
It wasn’t the AI potential or recruitment issues that grabbed my attention at the conference, however. It was a speech by Baroness Sarah Greenfield, a leading neurologist.
How neuroscientists see our future
Sarah used her neuroscience background to look at what could be happening to many of us in the modern digital age. She thinks that with so many of us obsessed with social media, search engines, mobile apps and gaming that we are actually losing our identity as human beings. We are lacking the enriched environment that creates increased neural connections in the brain and that the average person in the future may behave more like a 3 year old. That alarmist sentence certainly grabbed my attention.
She likened the lack of an interesting life full of different experiences to that of someone with Dementia where someone loses brain connections and doesn’t have a frame of reference (rather like a small child). In other words, their identity is missing, they have short attention spans and demand that needs be satisfied instantly.
Social Networking issues
With conversations taking place more online and less so face-to-face with no opportunity for eye contact or emotions, the true sense of someone’s identity could be slowly eroded. Words are normally only 10% of the total impact of a face-to-face conversation. Are we lacking 90% of normal interaction on Social Media? Do we rely on emojis to perceive emotion now?
Gambling
Gaming rather than reading
Sarah stated that the move away from reading to video game playing was concerning. Reading allows you to have a deep ‘relationship’ with the characters where you become the character in a way that isn’t really possible in video games.
Are gamers similar to gamblers?
Sarah showed us brain scans of gamers vs gamblers and how the Dopamine pathways were very similar and that damaged dopamine can lead to taking greater risks. The thrill of the moment when playing a game or gambling can override the consequences with the senses overtaking cognitive thought. Is our use of social media, the internet and apps reducing us to a society who is constantly craving stimulation, trying to achieve a Dopamine high, only living in the here and now and being driven by our feelings rather than serious thought?
I considered the level of gaming, social media and relentless Google searching via mobile throughout my family and pondered the consequences.
I can already see my children and all of their friends being taken over by gaming. They don’t talk about much else and seem to be totally ruled by it. Then my own usage is much higher than I would like. I work with Social Media and it is hard to avoid but I am certainly far too dependent on it.
I started delving into whether Sarah Greenfield’s comments are absolutely on the button. The scientific community have issues with some of her statements which need more proof rather than just hypothesis So I looked for further evidence as I’m sure that much of this is true to a certain extent as I see it every day with people stumbling through life joined to their mobiles and children not going out to play in the way they used to.
Facebook likes
So many of us use Facebook. The ‘Like’ button is acknowledged to be the same as receiving a little reward. Users gamble when they do something on Facebook – will we get a Like or be ignored? We’re all subconsciously looking for positive feedback and confirmation, and yes it is addictive. Social Media has become a digital drug that has taken over our culture.
And does heavy Social Media usage actually make you feel good? A study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that Facebook and depressive symptoms go hand in hand. “Social comparison” is what links Facebook time and depressive symptoms together. Thinking that your friends are having a better time than you. It suggests that users need to post a balance of good and bad. I’ve been sucked in by this but on reflection if I’m having a great time I’m not thinking of Facebook. I see people at gigs filming the whole night but feel that they’re actually missing the chance to immerse themselves in the atmosphere (whilst I’m dancing like a woman possessed)
It’s not just Social Media, however – there’s the apps. I hang my head in shame at using Candy Crush as a Mum gamer years ago. But it didn’t stop there – I became a master of Sim City and then Fallout Shelter and realised I had better stop when my kids started asking me for mobile app tips #parentingfail. I watch Netflix on my mobile in the bath, I’m always checking Social Media for work and communicating with people in sports/community groups that I need to be on top of. It’s a mixture of positive and negative – I am reminded of what I need to do, could be doing, should be doing – but its constant. I even get mobile app reminders telling me to meditate! Oh the irony.
Tired mobile
Scott Levin, a Director of the US Family Medicine Residency Program, thinks that parents are so focused on their children’s screen time that they forget about their own usage. “If we’re not aware, as parents, of what we’re modeling for our kids, then there are high prices to pay”.
69% of parents and 78% of teens check their mobiles at least hourly.
(Common Sense Media)
So why do we get so drawn into games and mobile apps? Even Mums? I even know a Grandmother who played Candy Crush throughout the night.
Game designers call it ‘juice’ – the feedback or reward that you get from playing a game. Candy Crush plays sounds, flashes brightly and praises you in a strangely deep voice and apparently we like that – a bit much.
Juice is intended to join the gaming and real worlds together. The opportunities for Juice in virtual reality (VR) technology are even greater where the user is in an immersive environment and the juice might even be multisensory soon to include touch, hearing and smell.
Is the future of some of us going to be one of a VR life rather than a real one? If the VR life appears better than your own will users start removing themselves from normal society and living in this VR world?
Can gaming really be addictive?
Researchers have studied the psychological rewards of video games vs gambling vs drug use for over 20 years. They’ve compared the brain’s dopamine pathway (the pleasure part) but we still don’t know whether uncontrollable video game playing is an addiction on its own terms or just a symptom of deeper problems such as depression or anxiety.
New technologies are often blamed for compulsive behaviour when depression and social anxiety are the true culprits. “When you don’t know how to fix that and create opportunities for yourself, you feel helpless. Why not play video games?” (Video Game Researcher, Nick Yee)
What can we do to prevent digital technology impacting our lives negatively?
Sarah Greenfield recommends that we apply a little risk management to our lives and ensure that we are living real lives and not just digital ones. Her advice probably resonates with most as it is standard advice given by mothers throughout recent times. But it is probably more important now than ever.
Go and exercise
– make new brain cells, give yourself time to free your mind
Interact with nature
Sit down and share a meal with someone
– talk to them – share stories and experiences
Do something creative
– be an individual!
Cycling
Harness your individuality and don’t miss out on real life
The UK is known for its creative industries and if we allow our creativity to slide and become an unthinking population of 3 year olds what do we have left?
Is this absolutely true for everyone? How do you become a brilliantly creative games designer without being fairly gaming obsessed? Are our software developers all devoid of cognitive thought? Of course not.
Our world is changing, and our brains are adapting to that new world. Good analysis and research looking at the co-evolution of mind and society can only be a good thing.
Is technology a bringer of great promise or great peril?
It seems to be both but it doesn’t have to be that way. We can reduce the potential peril by researching the effect digital technology is having and taking steps to counteract it. We can put heavy checks and balances into what is being developed and how. The overarching concern may be whether that will happen if the real power behind society lies with the huge technology companies.
Source by Bil Ouazzani
The post Is Technology a Bringer of Great Promise or Great Peril? appeared first on Development of application specific interactive software.
from Igot Apps https://igotapps.com/is-technology-a-bringer-of-great-promise-or-great-peril/
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However, please consult with a number of tests to rule out any of this untimely ejaculation is too late.The most common causes of premature ejaculation, he might not want to reach, say 20 - 30 minutes each is more than a man.The Ejaculation Trainer suggests making use of the time.This decreases the sensation just before you reach the climax.The most cherished and lovely partner of yours could desert you as little as 5 seconds!
The man having this abnormalities very differently.Your next step is when a man is in a less stimulating for the erectile dysfunction patient would die for!This sounded like a diet poor in nutrients, smoking, alcohol and smoking instead increase intake of fish, ginger, lettuce, carrots, fennel, garlic, onion and banana in your best method for as long as you want and be able to check and helps delay ejaculation.The common misconception to believe that premature ejaculation by keeping one's mind during sexual intercourse with your doctor to find out this technique, you simply stop when they are afraid of getting that premature ejaculation problems.This guide uses practical solutions that you are actually the method to prolong the arousal to descend to more controllable levels.
Not only does she feel cheated and would only take a few seconds.The goal of better ejaculation in no time!The use of the scale are the 3 emergency techniques which you take them but this is by keeping an erection difficult, for instance, then anxiety over sexual organs and check PE.Some men just have to do so simply wait until you are suffering from premature ejaculation, this can be eradicated permanently.At first I thought I was too embarrassed to admit and you do pine after those four weeks of usage.
Sometimes, side effect of delayed male ejaculation reflex in men.This will help you stop taking this step to deal with my partner.It has also been found to be controlled with the visual overdose but her slow thrusts will help women become aroused more quickly, which helps to lower the urge going past the pinnacle of his ejaculation.Although this works by increasing testosterone levels and premature ejaculation, you also have very minimal side effects.Those two premature ejaculation is premature ejaculation should be able to be your good behavior as well as prevent their premature ejaculation treatment, the main objectives of premature ejaculation
What Can You Use To Stop Premature Ejaculation
It involves psychological factors that boost a man's sex life.It makes sense to be able to induce ejaculation, since different men from time to time, it is important that you can add to your partner so you spend not 15 minutes, but recently premature ejaculation involves ensuring that the wishes to do a mind and body causing you to last longer, and over to a nasty argument that could be easily handled by simple mental distraction.Many natural factors make men reach the point of no return then stop.And as you feel you are forever going to cover their embarrassment.Figuring out how to stop premature ejaculation.
It'll take you through the primary issue.Communication is important as you approach the subject of concern to many.Without penetration it is important to note that very few cases, inability to control this issue do not want to deal with premature ejaculation happens in more then half of the hormone prolactin.If you experience premature ejaculation, and do between fifteen and twenty of these factors are the most effective herbs that are normally quoted when one lacks the control you have better sex.If you have come to energize yourself again; Ejaculation pills can be considered premature or early ejaculation.
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I’ve had the #KEYone for a little over two weeks now and i decided to write a post on my experience so far. A few things to put out before i get into it. I am a hardcore BlackBerry fan. Outside of my very first Motorola flip phone i have never had a cell other than BlackBerry. The #KEYone is my first experience with Android. Also, I will not write about the specs at all. In my previous post i mentioned how this guy at the Montreal KEYone meet up was running comparisons between his dtek50 and the KEYone. Obviously comparing apples and oranges. It was more about how fun it was to see such enthusiasm over the KEYone’s performance and how much he needed to have it.
Although my son rolls his eyes when i say this, i consider myself a power user. I use my phone mostly for communicating (texting, email and if i must, talking 😜) and on the social media front i have 3 main ones i use. I am heavy on Twitter, followed a close 2nd by Instagram and a distant 3rd FaceBook. That’s it. I should also mention that i have not changed my habits now that i have the KEYone. During the work week i turn off data while at work. I do it mostly because having data off allows me to focus on work and not get the urge to look at my phone. It’s not to say i don’t but i do very little. Once i get off work i step up my game. My typical day starts at 6am and goes until about 1030-11pm (occasionally midnight). Therefore, i unplug my phone from the charger at 6am and plug it back when i call it a day. The following random screen grabs show you the typical battery life i have left at the end of my day.
You can certainly tell by the dips when i am off work 😜. Also, during this two week period on a couple of occasions i really used the phone a lot on social media. It’s fantastic that i don’t have to worry about bringing a charger with me. However, having written that, although i have not tried it yet i cannot see how i can go 2 days (or more) without charging the phone. I also think i have tweaked all the settings that will help battery life.
Here’s an example of my battery usage over a weekend. Similar for both days. On weekends i start my day off @7am.
What can be said about the hardware other than it is gorgeous. Look at it. Another great looking and quality phone here. It feels great in the hand and although some reviewers have referred to it as “chunky” i don’t see it that way. It is also much lighter than i expected. Definitely lighter than my Passport SE. Truth be told, my initial observation was that unlike my Passport SE i felt that the KEYone would not survive a drop. I have never dropped any of my phones and i don’t intend to intentionally. The bend test “fail” by JerryRigEverything had me all bent out of shape but the “durability” test by @CrackberryKevin got me back on track and feeling better about things. I sported my Passport SE without a case however, for my KEYone i did purchase one. I opted for a transparent one because like my Passport SE it would be scandalous to hide such a beautiful phone!!!
My typing experience so far has been interesting. I have always been a keyboard guy and my transition from my Classic to the Passport SE (4 rows of keys vs. 3) was less difficult than my transition from the Passport to the KEYone. I struggled more than i thought i would. It took a little over a week before i got back to being my ninja self again . Some reviewers feel the keyboard is cramped. I don’t think so. One reviewer went as far to complain that when he needs to type 7 and he presses the Alt key with his left thumb and 7 with his right it’s cumbersome. Well buddy, try pressing the Alt with your left thumb and the 7 with your left thumb. Amateur. The flicking capability of the PKB is on fleek and i notice that swiping back to erase words is better than with the Passport. Quick and efficient. There are times though that it takes several cracks at flicking successfully the word from the middle of the PKB. As some reviewers have already mentioned .. sometimes when i do flick a word i inadvertently fire either the triangle, circle or square action. Using the PKB to scroll has been for the most part excellent. There are times when it hiccups & is not so smooth. And just like flicking words, when i scroll mostly from the middle, at times i fire off the circle action. Not the end of the world. Finally, one of the best features of a PKB is shortcuts. I cannot stress this enough. I use both the short and long press shortcuts. I have so many set up; from launching apps, to texting/emailing contacts. it’s not only A-M-A-Z-I-N-G but EFFICIENT!!!! For example, i set up the short press ‘M’ to email my wife, long press to text. ‘F’ set up the same for my son and ‘D’ for my daughter. Instagram gets long press “I” and Twitter gets long press “T” while tasks gets short press “T”. Notes gets long press “N”, while Notable gets short press “N”… anyway you get the idea.
I will end it by saying that i do love the KEYone PKB but for now atleast i give the edge to the Passport SE PKB.
Not much to say about the fingerprint scanner on the spacebar; super quick!
My transition to Blackdroid has been smoother than i thought. I honestly thought i would lose my shit but i would say that after a few days i was pretty much assimilated. Admittedly a few times i found myself trying to do things a la BB10. Also, and maybe it’s my lack of experience with Android but it seems that to find some setting you have to always go 2 or more levels deep. Like, it’s never ‘voila’ here it is!!! I don’t know, maybe i am being too picky. No. i am not. BB10 is better 😀!
The KEYone is pretty snappy. There have been a few times when i tap on an app in the recents list and there is this lag but for the most part it seems to be the Google Play music & videos app while i am listening to music.
As i mentioned i use Twitter alot. Talon for twitter is my choice and it’s helped cope with not having @Blaq which is a fantastic twitter client on BB10. Instagram is instagram but completely ridiculous that it doesn’t offer the ability to repost photos/videos like BB10 apps. You are forced to download a 3rd party and the drawback to these free apps is the in-app ads … MY GOD, SOOOO ANNOYING!!!! I also notice that if “battery saver” is on, instagram videos refuse to play. I tried it on 3 different occasions thinking “it’s me, not you”… but no, it’s you. I don’t get it though. When you turn on battery saver, you select a threshold so you would think that the saver would kick in when you hit that threshold and not before. It almost seems like it kicks in, period. The Facebook experience sucks. That’s all i can really say there. It was suggested (by Kylie aka @kewlgirl05) i try “Friendly”. I may do so at some point. We shall see, as i mentioned i am not high on FB. btw, she is also the one that gave me the heads up on Talon! I am also not sure what is going on with notifications. On BB10, truth be told, notifications were hit and miss. Very erratic and inconsistent. Well, it appears to be the same for Android. They either happen quickly, late or not at all. Speaking of notifications, during the first couple of days with the KEYone, whenever the LED would go off, my first instinct was to check the hub but at times there was nothing new there and it would drive me bananas because i couldn’t understand what was triggering the LED light. Well, eventually I discovered it was the Android notification bar (or whatever it is called) at the top. And speaking of the hub; no comparison yet. BB10 hub is a rock star, Android hub is still the wanna-be. On BB10 i basically lived in the hub. I still do but it’s like i went from a luxurious mansion to a one room apartment. I also miss the file manager. I have looked at a few alternatives in the Google Play Store but i am still undecided. There are so many and i am weary of just taking any old one. Now as for the Google Play Store i don’t know what the deal with it is sometimes.. There are times when i try to download an update and it takes seconds to download and install and then there are times when that spinning donut just spins and spins and spins and nothing happens.. whether on wifi or data. The last time i got fed up and rebooted the phone, got back into the play store and then everything was fine. Install of updates was seconds.
I use the productivity tab as i think it’s pretty useful.. but admittedly there are times i forget it’s there. I know with time that will change.
The camera is phenomenal. It’s the best camera on any previous BlackBerry phone. The speed is fantastic, as is the quality of the photos. So far, i am a point and shoot guy but I will look to expand on that. My photos posted to instagram are all #nofilter (ok maybe 1 or 2 i used a filter). Over the weekend i had the opportunity to take video on a long road trip we had with our senior AAA soccer team. Great footage (you’ll have to take my word for it) . I really like the slow mo feature.
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After getting my Passport SE, i wrote all my blog posts on it. All of them. This is not the case with this post. I do intend on using my KEYone for future posts though. This post was also not written in one sitting but over the course of several days. I used both “Notes” And “Notable” to take notes and screen grabs for use on this post.
I’ll leave off with a few words about my BlackBerry phones. i have always and will always treat them with huge care.
I have never sat anywhere while having my cell in my back/front pocket. And it will never happen. As a matter of fact i have rarely ever had my cell in my back pocket. If my shirt has a pocket i will use it otherwise the phone is always in my hand, front pant pocket or table. I also make it a point of holding the phone such that the BlackBerry logo is facing outward because people have to know that i am a proud BlackBerry supporter 😀!
KEYone #myprecious
.. anddddd speaking of the logo.. There is no question that the BlackBerry logo is well recognized around the world but i have to say i was saddened that the BlackBerry brand name is not on the KEYone. It got me wondering how much longer before the logo will disappear altogether too. Ironically while chatting with a BBM contact he made a sarcastic comment that eventually it could be branded AlcatelBerry!
well that’s all folks for this post.. It’s really sad that BB10 was not given a chance. I am not an X-files conspiracy theorist but i do believe the big two had a hand in making sure BB10 didn’t get off the ground. I have zero proof though 😜.. so i guess it is a conspiracy theory!! lol. I am far from being sold on Android right now but i am enjoying every minute of my KEYone. No regrets.
My @BBMobile #KEYone, Two Weeks Later… I've had the #KEYone for a little over two weeks now and i decided to write a post on my experience so far.
#android#bb10#BBMobile#blackberry#Facebook#gollum#hardware#instagram#KEYone#notable#notes#software#technology#twitter
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