#and my thoughts are racing and need the cold embrace of a night im not dressed for to feel sane again

[yoloyeahhh]

florence + the machine got me feeling like sprinting out into the night and falling into a loved one’s arms before professing a love so heart-wrenchingly true and vulnerable that i may not survive the admission

[gogogodzilla]

Um I was wondering if you could write smut about connor and about if he can vibrate if yk what i mean cause i feel like im not the only person that thinks that androids can vibrate. please and thank you

Tease || Connor (RK800)

Summary: Connor can't wait until you get home.

Note Pt. 2: This is a spiritual epilogue of my completed Connor fanfic, Criminal Analysis!

Warnings: smut (obviously lol), afab reader, oral (reader receiving), fingering (connor has vibrating fingers), semi-public sex

{Masterlist}

You knew what you were doing— you were wearing those pants Connor liked. Really liked. 

Of course, you had another reason to be wearing them other than riling him up. You knew that you’d be called into court eventually, that’s part of being a forensic psychologist, after all. 

It all started that morning. You got to sleep in a little due to court and you relished the few extra moments of unconsciousness. 

However, those moments lost their sweetness when you felt the cold, empty space beside you in bed. You blindly swatted the other side of the bed, hoping that if you reached just a little bit further you’d find your lover. He’d bring your groggy form into his embrace, and lull you back into a dreamless sleep. 

Your grasps came up empty and you rolled onto your back with a huff. The bedroom door opened with a click, and soft footsteps echoed throughout the room. You peeked open an eye and struggled to fight the grin that appeared at the sight of your love.

Connor’s hair was neat as always, but he had exchanged his Cyberlife jacket with a normal suit jacket. It was a refreshing change. 

Connor neared your side of the bed, and your grin grew. He bent down and pressed a soft, slow kiss to your temple and ran his fingers through your hair, smoothing out some of the tangles.  

He slowly peppered kisses down your face, moving from your forehead, down to the space between your eyebrows, to the tip of your nose, and, finally, your lips.

You didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss, the ache for him already growing. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged him towards you. 

Connor knew better than to fall into your trap, especially when he was running late. He placed a hand beside your head to stop himself from coming any closer. That didn’t stop you from trying, though.

“I have to go,” he whispered as he gently pulled away. 

You sighed dreamily as you sat up, “You should’ve woken me up sooner.” 

“If we started,” Connor purred as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “we wouldn’t be able to stop.” 

You hummed in response as you slowly trailed your fingers up his thigh. He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, but you just grinned. 

You settled for resting your hands on his belt buckle, “You can afford to be a few minutes late.” 

Your argument was flawed, you knew that. Connor would rather cut off his own foot than be late. But, you also knew that you could be very persuasive. 

Connor pried your hand from his belt buckle and gave you a placating smile, “I’ll be home as soon as I can.” 

You let out a huff as you threw yourself back on the bed with a groan. You’re lucky you didn’t crack your head on the headboard, but you didn’t really care at the moment. 

Connor bent over and gave you a final kiss, whispering an ‘I love you’ against your lips. It was almost like you were Snow White, and he was your prince charming. Although, the only thing he’d awoken was a deep need throbbing between your legs. And then he was out the door. 

You set your plan into motion almost immediately. You felt a bit giddy at the thought of Connor getting all hot and bothered just by the sight of you. Especially, if he wouldn’t get to touch you until later that night. 

Your heart raced as you pushed open the glass door to the precinct. Your shoes clicked across the tile floor as you made your way through the turnstile and to your desk. 

You ignored Connor’s eyes searing a hole in your back as you bent down slightly and slowly put the files you came for in your bag. 

A low whistle sounded behind you, “Damn, sweetheart, what’re you all dressed up for?” Gavin called as he made his way to his desk, steaming mug clutched in his hand. 

You rolled your eyes and fought off a grin. Gavin’s shameless flirting was playing right into your plan. 

“If you must know,” you straightened and placed your hands on your hips, “some of us actually have to do our jobs.”

Gavin sat down and leaned back in his chair, “Very funny.” 

You went back to your task, pretending to look in one of the drawers for something, making sure to give Connor a very good view. 

“I think your plastic boy toy is malfunctioning,” Gavin snickered, and you stopped your fake search and looked up at Gavin. “He just practically ran to the bathroom.” 

“I’ll go check on him,” you muttered as you closed the drawer to your desk. 

Gavin put his feet up on his desk and sent you one of his blinks that’s meant to be a wink, “Yeah, you go ahead and check on him.”

You flushed as you turned away, your hurried steps echoing as you made your way to the bathroom. Gavin wasn’t stupid. Hell, you’d done the same thing when he’d pissed you off when you were dating. 

Old habits died hard.

The door to the men’s bathroom silently shut behind you, and luckily only one stall was occupied. You locked the bathroom door with a click and sauntered over to the stall which contained the object of your desires. Well, more like the person of your desires.

“Connor,” you called out as you came to a stop in front of the stall door. A slight grin graced your features as you waited for him to answer. 

The door opened in a flash, and you were pulled inside. Quicker than you could process, Connor had you pressed up against the door and had both of your hands caged in his and held above your head. 

“You just couldn’t wait,” Connor taunted as he tilted his head to the side, letting his breath fan across your cheek. He slid his knee between your legs, allowing himself to get even closer. 

You raised your head to look at him. “I dunno, seems like you’re the one who couldn’t wait.” He let out a sigh as he released your hands and raked them down your body. You had to be quick, Connor knew that. Although, that didn’t stop him from teasing you. 

He gripped your thighs as he looked down at you and pressed a sloppy kiss to your lips. It was mostly tongue, but you were quick to wrap your arms around him and pull him impossibly closer to you. 

Connor made quick work of undoing the buttons on your dress shirt as he pressed open-mouthed kisses down the column of your throat and gripped your hips tightly. He was searching for that spot that made you make those noises he liked. You ground your core against his thigh, attempting to get some sort of relief.

Once he successfully got your shirt all the way unbuttoned, he was quick to attack the newly exposed skin, licking and sucking to his heart’s desire. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged at the pieces at the nape of his neck eliciting a groan from him. 

Connor gripped your waist as he moved his sloppy kisses down your abdomen and slowly got to his knees. You gazed down at him through your heavy lids. He moved to unbutton your pants, eager to finally touch you. His movements were practiced and precise as he pulled your pants down to your ankles. He let out a shaky breath when he realized you weren’t wearing any underwear. 

You’d almost forgotten about that part of your plan.

He slotted himself neatly between your legs. He always fit so well there. 

“So needy for me,” he breathed against your core as he caressed your inner thighs. You clenched them together but his grip held you in place. He pressed a kiss on the inside of your knee before slowly moving upward, avoiding where you needed him most. 

You let out a groan, and Connor looked up at you. 

“Use your words, Doctor,” he gently reminded before latching his lips onto your core. Your breath is promptly knocked out of you, and any retort you had died in your throat. 

His grip tightened on your thighs as he desperately pulled you closer to him. His tongue expertly circled your clit as he found a rhythm that had your eyes rolling back. You gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, eliciting a moan that sent heavenly vibrations up your body. 

You groaned at the sight of him— your slick had begun to coat his face and he showed no sign of slowing. 

Connor slowly and sinfully pressed one finger inside you, which was quickly joined by another. You thrusted your hips forward, desperate to have even more of him. He pumped his fingers achingly slow, but a stream of vibrations caused you to jolt. 

That was new.

A sly grin had curved into Connor’s face and he looked up at you, taking in the confusion mixed with arousal that graced your features. He pulled away from you for a moment, “I was saving that for later.” 

“Fuck, Connor,” you whimpered. 

“Be quiet,” Connor grunted into your core as he jutted his fingers deeper into you. You pressed a hand over your mouth to silence the breathy moans that were escaping you. 

You trusted yourself for only a moment to whimper out, “Need you.” 

Connor was more than happy to oblige you as he rose to his feet and pushed his fingers past your lips, making you taste yourself. You busied yourself with undoing his belt buckle, fingers clumsy as you revealed what you ached for. 

Connor let out a shaky breath as you stroked him, and he met your strokes halfway. He gripped your thighs and in one swift motion lifted you up. He was practically bending you in half, but you didn’t mind. 

He angled his cock up to your entrance, and agonizingly, slowly pushed inside you. The way he stretched you was delicious, and you let out a high-pitched mewl at the feeling. 

He covered your mouth with one of his hands as he rutted inside of you and bottomed out. After a few moments, you started moving your hips, begging him to move. Mercifully, he obliged you and snapped his hips against yours. You let out a breathy moan against his hand, and he pressed sloppy kisses against your neck. 

“You’re perfect,” he slurred into your shoulder, “couldn’t wait until tonight to have you.” He moved his hand from your mouth to resting on your neck, and he looked you in the eyes as he pounded into you. Connor brought his hand down to where you were joined and the vibrations continued once again. 

You grip onto his bicep, that familiar coil beginning to tighten, and you panted heavily. “I’m close,” you whined.

“Come for me.” 

He didn’t have to ask twice. You groaned and you felt your eyes roll back as you reached your high. You came hard as you involuntarily pushed your hips into Connor’s. 

He came with your name gracing his lips along with a few other words. You attempted to catch your breath as Connor stilled within you. 

“You’re going to be late,” he said matter-of-factly as he pressed a kiss to your temple. You huffed out a laugh, and Connor gently set you back down. You grabbed onto his shoulders while you waited for your legs to stop feeling like jelly. 

Connor helped clean you up and make you look presentable. His hands were a lot steadier than yours at the moment. 

You pressed a kiss to his cheek and grinned, “I should tease you more often."

[daisies-daydreams]

HEYYY.. UHM IM BACK!!.. sigh i am so sorry i need MORE hobie x plus sized reader..

i was thinking of fluff that turns into smut, hobie and reader are just cuddling and kissing in their shared bed and things go to the other direction..

( idk why but i want like hardcore?? totally understandable if you can’t write that, my apologies!)

huge fan of your work, i love you sm!! /p ❤️🕸️

Sticks and Stones (Hobie Brown x F!Plus-Size!Reader)

Pairing: Hobie Brown x F!Plus-Sized!Reader Category: Fluff/Smut (18+) Warnings: (where do I begin???) Swearing, Making Out, Hickeys, Clit Play, Oral Sex (M!/F! Receiving), Cockwarming, Orgasm Denial, Vibrators, Multiple Orgasms (Hobie/Reader), Cum Eating, “Creative” Use of Webbing (Bondage), Unprotected P in V Sex (You Know the Drill), Butterfly Position, Semi-Reverse Cowgirl, Slight Daddy Kink, Squirting, References to Aftercare Word Count: 4.4k+

A/N: Oh no dear there’s no need to be sorry! Hobie’s one of my favorite characters to write for, so it’s always lovely to receive requests for him (though I might’ve gone a little too wild with this one 🤭). (Also the reader knows that Hobie is Spider-Man in this continuity). I hope you enjoy! 🫶

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI

You sighed as you collapsed on your mattress, your belly and thighs jiggling as you lay flat against your cozy comforter. Your heart sank as you slowly turned on your side, your eyes falling on the cold, empty spot beside you. Sure, it was amazing having Spider-Man as your boyfriend...but you never really thought about the long periods of time when he'd be away. A knot of anxiety tightened in your chest as you bit the inside of your cheek.

Your mind raced as you thought about how many days he’s been gone for a special mission. Days and nights of you not knowing when-or if-he'd be back. You knew the risks he took, the countless dangers he came face to face with, all to protect the people of London…to protect you.

Your train of thought was disrupted when you felt someone smooth their hand over your hip. You gasped and jumped up, your heart nearly beating out of your chest as you kicked your legs forward. You froze when you saw Hobie standing in front of you with a cheeky grin.

"Still a bit jumpy, eh?" he mused.

"Hobie!" you squealed as you scrambled off the bed. You nearly tackled him to the floor as you wrapped your arms around his lanky frame and pulled him close. Your boyfriend sighed happily as he returned your embrace, his hands falling against the small of your back.

"Hi," Hobie whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

"Hi," you grinned. The two of you slowly parted before deeply gazing into each other's eyes. “I’m so happy you’re home,” you said with tears in your eyes. Your boyfriend grinned as he gently cupped your cheek.

“Glad to be home,” he murmured. Your heart fluttered as Hobie slowly dipped his head down and caught your lips in a tender kiss. You sighed and wrapped your hands around his neck as warmth swept across your body. You loved the way Hobie's lip ring brushed over your bottom lip as he tilted his head, his hands sliding down to rest on your hips.

"Never seen these before, they new?" Hobie smirked as he played with the elastic of your panties. You squeaked when he snapped it against your waist, the slight sting reverberating across the plush of your hips.

"Maybe," you said before playfully flicking his chest. Hobie chuckled as he pulled back.

"How 'bout we catch up in bed, yeah?" he suggested before gently stroking your love handles-a silent apology for his teasing. Your heart skipped a beat as you turned around and crawled back onto the mattress. You paused as you watched your lover shrug off his studded leather jacket and tossed onto a chair nearby. He smirked when he caught you staring.

"Like what you see?" he lilted as he pulled his shirt over his dark, puffy wicks. You blushed and squeezed your thighs together as he quickly stripped down to his briefs. Your lover flashed you a warm smile as he climbed onto the bed, the frame creaking as he crawled towards you. You smiled as he draped one of his lanky arms over your side.

“How’ve you been, dove?” he asked in a low, soft tone.

“Okay…even better now that you’re here,” you said with a bright smile.

“Oh?” Hobie hummed with a raised brow. You sighed and bit your lip.

“I missed you, so much,” you said as you traced your finger along the scar on his collar bone. Hobie nodded slowly, his expression growing more solemn at your words.

"I missed you, too," he said before kissing your forehead. "I'm so sorry, babe. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you,” he frowned as he smoothed his hand over your hip. You cupped his face and gave him a gentle smile.

“I’m just glad you’re safe,” you murmured. Hobie grinned as he rested his forehead against yours.

“Me too,” he murmured. Your cheeks flushed with heat he slipped his hand even lower, his fingertips rubbing over the globe of your ass.

“Hobie,” you blushed as he began to kiss along your neck. You squeaked when he took a handful of your bum and squeezed it tenderly.

“I was thinkin'...maybe we could make up for lost time since we're already here?” Hobie husked into your ear. You bit your lip as he continued to play with your plump ass, his fingertips greedily sinking into your supple flesh. You spread your hands against his chest, making him freeze his ministrations.

“If we do…could we maybe do things a little more rough tonight?” you asked hesitantly. Hobie tilted his head as he released his grip on your rear.

“How rough are we talkin'?” he asked, his voice dropping several octaves. You bit your lip, a rush of heat sweeping over your body as your clit throbbed against the fabric of your panties.

“You know…like that one time on New Year’s Eve,” you whispered as if someone were eavesdropping nearby. Hobie raised his brows and smirked.

“‘Course. How could I forget New Year’s?” he drawled before giving your bum another eager squeeze. “You sure you want me to be that rough with you again, though?” Hobie asked. You swallowed thickly as you eyed the bulge growing beneath his briefs.

“I-I’m sure,” you breathed. Hobie's smirk returned before he suddenly rolled on top of you and held your arms above your head. Your chest rose and fell as his lips just barely ghosting over yours.

"Remember the safeword from last time?" he asked, his eyes lit with arousal as he teasingly ground his hips against yours. You nodded and gasped as his cock brushed against your clit in a delicious way. "Let's get you out of these clothes then," Hobie rumbled. You parted your lips before he slipped his tongue inside your mouth, his hands hastily tugging at the band of your panties. You raised your hips and moaned as he rolled his tongue with yours in a sloppy, heated dance.

You gasped into his mouth as he shoved your underwear down your thick thighs and dismissively tossed them aside. Your eyes widened when he pulled away from your kiss, his lips slick with your combined spit as he quickly rolled your shirt over your shoulders. The corners of Hobie's mouth turned up as he brushed his fingers over your puffy, drenched folds. You squealed as he spread your labia apart with his deft fingers and dipped his head down.

“Such a needy little thing-already soaked and I’ve barely even touched you,” your boyfriend teased. You keened as Hobie rubbed his thumb up and down your engorged clit, your pussy squelching softly as he continued to stroke along your slit.

“H-Hobie,” you keened. He smirked against your cheek before suddenly slipping his hand away. You huffed at the loss of his intoxicating touch, only to furrow your brows as he shifted his eyes to the floor, then back to you.

“Get on your knees, love,” he clarified in a deep, raspy voice. You bit your lip as he shuffled back, allowing you space to climb off the bed. You slid off the mattress and yelped when he laid a sharp smack against your ass, your flesh jiggling at the harsh contact.

"There's that sexy arse I've been missin'," Hobie groaned as he slid his feet onto the floor. You slowly turned around before lowering yourself onto the carpet, your knees sinking into the plush fibers while Hobie stood up.

“Christ,” your lover rumbled as he hungrily eyed your soaked sex and palmed his cock through his briefs. Your heart raced as he grabbed the band of his underwear and slowly pulled it down his lean legs. Your mouth watered when his long cock sprang free and slapped against his dark happy trail, smearing pre-cum all over his pubes. A small whine escaped your throat as your empty pussy pulsed and yearned to be filled.

“Poor thing,” Hobie feigned sympathy as he stroked his shaft. Your mouth watered as he brought the fat tip of his dick to your mouth, a thick bead of precum painting your bottom lip. His eyes glowed with carnal desire as he threaded his long fingers through your hair. “You know what to do, sweet girl: keep that pretty mouth of yours open and cheeks nice and hollow,” he rumbled. You nodded as you rolled your tongue out, the tip of your wet muscle flicking against the lining of his frenulum.

“Shit,” Hobie grunted as he gripped your locks. You moaned as you wrapped your soft lips around the throbbing head of his cock, the salty taste of his precum flooding your tastebuds. Hobie groaned as you suckled on his sensitive tip while you smoothed your hands over the top of his thighs. His grip on your hair tightened with every contraction of your mouth around his length.

“Christ, baby,” he moaned as you swirled your tongue around his tip. You shallowly bobbed your head up and down his shaft while you fluttered your lashes, making sure to give him your best doe eyes. Hobie growled as he released his grip on the base of his cock and squeezed your head with both of his hands. Your eyes widened when he suddenly pushed you forward, shoving his entire cock inside your warm, slick cavern.

You gagged as his tip rubbed against your uvula, some drool spilling past the seam of your lips and dribbling down your chin. “Fuckin’ hell,” Hobie swallowed as he watched you take his cock. You dug your nails into his thighs as your nose became flush with his dark pubes, your throat constricting around his pulsating shaft.

Hobie released a guttural groan as you hollowed your cheeks around his length, his cock twitching deep inside you as he rolled his hips back before snapping them forward. You gagged as he fucked your face with desperate, feral thrusts.

"Open your throat up, lovie," he grunted. Hot tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, his heavy balls slapping against your chin while you tried to relax your throat. 

“Yeah, that's it baby-take my fuckin’ cock,” he growled as his brows knit together with pleasure. You kept your cheeks hollowed as you slobbered all over his veiny shaft, more of your warm spit sliding down your chin and neck. Hobie bared his teeth as he used your throat like a fleshlight-fucking your tight airway completely raw with his long, quivering shaft. 

“God, your throat’s so fuckin’ tight,” he hissed as he dug his nails into your scalp. Your eyes rolled back at the slight sting as your pussy begged to be filled and stretched. The wet “plaps” of his cock slamming into your wet mouth echoed inside your small bedroom as you looked up at him. His lips were parted as he panted wildly, his body tensing as trembling with bliss.

"Mouth looks so pretty with my cock in it," he sucked in a sharp breath before throwing his head back. “F-Fuck! I’m close,” Hobie grunted as he fucked your face with quick, sloppy thrusts. You flared your nostrils as you tried to open your throat even more. He released a feral groan as he looked into your glossy eyes, his balls tightening against your chin.

“That’s a good girl: keep that throat open f’me when I-fuck!” he roared as he shoved you down his length for the last time. Your moans were muffled as he shot ropes of his thick, hot cum down your throat. Hobie grunted as he continued to sloppily thrust into your mouth, his warm seed coating every inch of your esophagus. Your boyfriend licked his lips as he watched you guzzle down his spend, his fingers woven through your locks and squeezing them tightly. You resisted the urge to cough and sputter as he let his cock soften inside your mouth. Relief washed over you as he dragged his dick past your stretched, swollen lips. Your throat burned as you curled your lips together before audibly swallowing the last traces of his spend. Hobie sucked in a sharp breath when you showed him your clean tongue.

“Fuck me,” he muttered as he loosened his grip on your hair. You gave him a mischievous grin as you wiggled your hips.

"Did I do well...daddy?" you purred. Hobie's eyes slightly widened at your name for him before his lips curved into a smirk.

“You did good, sweetheart,” he cooed. You gasped when he suddenly tugged your hair and bent his knees a little, his face hovering over your own. “But I'm not done with you yet,” your boyfriend rumbled. You keened as he dragged you to your feet, his lips wrapping around yours in a passionate, sloppy embrace. Your head spun as he pulled your hips against his, your pussy lips grazing over his flaccid cock as he sank onto the edge of the mattress. "Turn around f'me, sweet girl," he purred and rubbed your waist. Your legs shook as you slowly turned around, your plump ass grazing over his lower stomach.

"Hold on," he breathed. You tilted your head as Hobie leaned over to your nightstand and rummaged through the drawer. Your throat tightened when he pulled out your white vibrator with a wry grin.

"Oh, don’t worry. I'm not mad," he chuckled in a low, husky voice. You swallowed as he turned it on, the toy humming to life and sending a spark of pleasure through your core. "In fact, I think it's fuckin' hot you think 'bout me while you fuck your cute pussy open," Hobie murmured, his soft lips dancing over the shell of your ear. You squealed when you felt his cock twitch beneath you, your clit throbbing against the slight contact.

"Now, go on and be a good girl and warm my cock 'til I'm ready again," he muttered. Your toes curled as you nodded. You took a deep breath before grabbing his semi-hard cock and guiding the tip to your weeping entrance. Both of you moaned as you slowly sank down on his length, Hobie's fingernails digging crescents into your plush hips. You mewled at the sudden fullness, the tip of his cock grazing over your g-spot as your gummy walls hugged his veiny shaft.

“Fuck,” you sputtered as waves of pleasure rippled through your core.

“That's my girl-takin' my cock so well,” Hobie praised as he rubbed his palm up and down your thigh. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you fully sheathed yourself on his cock, his length buried deep within your clenching pussy. You barely had time to adjust to the fullness before he suddenly pressed the round tip of the vibrator against your puffy bundle of nerves. Your moans rolled out of your throat like claps of thunder as Hobie bombarded your clit with wave after wave of mind-numbing tremors. 

“S-Shit Hobie!” you keened as you ground your ass against his lean abs. Your boyfriend pecked your cheek as he circled your sensitive nub, his other hand occupied with pinching and massaging one of your hard nipples.

“You feel me down there, (Y/N)? Feel me stuffin’ your tight, needy cunt with my cock?” Hobie grunted as he squeezed your nipple.

“Y-Yes!” you cried as you rolled your hips back and forth, desperate for friction. Your boyfriend smirked against your goosebump-riddled skin as he stroked the toy up and down your juicy slit, spreading the warm arousal across your engorged button.

"Swear this pussy was made f'me," Hobie groaned as your slick walls pulsed against the bulging veins of his shaft. You curled your toes as he drew tighter circles around your sensitive nub, a ring of cream starting to form around the base of his cock. You moaned as Hobie rolled your nipple between his digits even faster.

“Oh shit baby-keep squeezin’ me like that,” he rumbled as he massaged your perky bud and bundle of nerves at the same pace. Your throat tightened as you felt a familiar pressure rise in your core. 

“Feels so good, Hobie,” you whined as you rocked your hips back. You shivered as your boyfriend pressed his lips against your pulse and sucked, his mouth expertly weaving a tapestry of raw hickeys across your skin. You felt every muscle in your lower belly start to wind into a tight, searing knot as the vibrations shot straight to the center of your core.

“Fuck, daddy. I-I-“ you opened your eyes when the pleasurable tremors suddenly stopped. Hobie smirked against your skin as you flared your nostrils. “Hobie please!” you keened as you tried to bounce yourself on his dick. Your boyfriend clicked his tongue as he squeezed your whole breast, drawing a whine from you.  

“Not yet, love,” he murmured with a wicked grin. Your bottom lip jutted out as you felt your orgasm grow further and further from your reach.

“Please please please,” you begged as you threw the back of your head against his shoulder. Hobie sighed contemplatively as he smoothed his thumb over your nipple.

"Alright, but only ‘cause you did such a good job suckin’ my cock," he lilted after a long pause. Your shoulders relaxed when he flicked the vibrator back on and tenderly massaged your nub again.

“Yes,” you moaned and arched your back. You relished in the bliss of the thrumming sensation pulsing against your clit again. You gasped and shivered as he bucked his hips up ever so slightly, his hand roughly squeezing your breast while his hot breath fanned over your neck.

"Keep bouncin' like that, love," Hobie grunted before planting another wet kiss on your pulse. You bounced on his shaft in time with his steady thrusts, your head spinning with pleasure each time your hips smacked against each other.

"Shit, daddy," you keened as your body jiggled with your movements. You felt your walls start to flutter again as your pussy soaked his lap. "So close, I'm-" you snapped your eyes open when Hobie pulled the toy away and shut it off. 

“Hobie!” you huffed as he smirked against your neck.

“Yes love?” he asked with a teasing voice. You frowned and wriggled in his lap.

“Please Hobie, please let me cum,” you begged, the pressure inside you borderline unbearable. You gasped as he grabbed your hips and suddenly pulled out, his cock leaving your pussy with a slick "pop". You yelped as he spun you around and laid your back flat against the comforter. His lips were curved in a dangerous smile as he reached over to the nightstand again, this time attaching a web-shooter to his wrist.

"Hands above your head, pretty girl," Hobie commanded softly. You parted your lips, your pussy growing even more wet at the thought of your wrists being bound by his webbing while he fucked you senseless. You made sure to spread your legs open, giving him a nice view of your cunt as you raised your hands above your head. Hobie grinned as he pumped his cock in his free hand while he held his other hand up with his index, pinkie and thumb out. It wasn't long after a quick "thwip" that the sticky, strong webbing wrapped around both of your wrists.

Hobie shot you a wry grin as his shadow loomed over you. You puffed out a breath of hot air as he lined the swollen head of his cock to your entrance

"Like it when I tie you up like this, hm?" he murmured lowly. You whined and nodded as you raised your hips. "Yeah, that's my good little slut," Hobie rumbled. Your jaw went slack as he grabbed your hips and sheathed his cock inside you in one swift thrust. 

“Oh fuck,“ you choked as the head of his cock slammed against your cervix. You gasped as he started to ruthlessly pound into your pussy, the bed shaking and groaning beneath his rough thrusts. You cried out as your hole was mercilessly stretched wide open, his shaft dragging along your gummy, slick walls with an untamed fervor. Hobie squeezed your love handles as he pulled your hips impossibly closer to his, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix with every thrust.

“Shit baby girl. Pussy’s so fuckin’ perfect ‘n tight,” he rasped as he drove his dick harder inside your greedy sex. You whimpered as you felt his balls slap against your puckering asshole, the sound driving your mind deeper into a lustful frenzy. Hobie squeezed your love handles again as you began to squeeze your eyes shut.

“Eyes on me, love. Wanna see your pretty eyes when you cum all over my cock,” he growled before spanking the side of your thigh. Your flesh bounced as you did your best to focus on his chocolate brown eyes. You whimpered as you felt yourself already nearing the steep edge of your release, your muscles feeling even tighter this time from his edging. You stared directly into his eyes as your walls clenched around his cock in a vice grip, sucking him closer to your womb. 

“H-Hobie, fuck!” you screamed as your hips snapped up. Your vision flooded with white as your body trembled with unbridled bliss. Your walls deliciously pulsed around his shaft as your pussy drenched his cock with your slick cream. You trembled and moaned beneath your lover as your body was caught in the riptide of mind-numbing rapture. “Hobie,” you repeated his name like a sacred prayer as your limbs turned to jelly.

Your boyfriend kept his eyes trained on your face as he knitted his brows, his cock throbbing and growing heavier inside your tight canal.

“Mmm such a good girl-makin’ a mess on my cock,” your boyfriend swiped his tongue across his lips. Your cunt pulsed at his praise as you arched your back. Hobie chuckled before he leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours, his hips spreading your legs apart even further. “Nearly there, love. Gonna drench this pretty cunt with my cum,” he panted as his hands planted on either side of your head.

Your head spun with dizzying ecstasy as your pussy squelched obscenely with each of his hungry thrusts. Hobie's nostrils flared as he groaned and fucked you like a wild animal in heat. You moaned quietly as he slammed his length down to the hilt, his tip shooting streams of his hot cum against your bruised cervix. 

“Fuck,” Hobie growled as he shallowly thrusted his dick forward, pushing his spend against the plug to your womb. Your legs shivered as he sloppily massaged your oversensitive walls with his meaty cock. “Fuck, that’s it,” he grunted as hus breathing stuttered.

You squealed as he gripped your hips while he pushed his shaft inside one final time, plugging up your oozing sex with his soaked girth. Tears of pleasure rolled down your plump cheeks as you felt his cock soften inside your spent, raw cunt. Both of you panted as he slipped his head back, a long, thick string of spit connecting your lips.

“How you feelin’?” Hobie murmured. His question almost didn’t register, your mind still drifting in the afterglow of your release. You caught your breath as your muscles began to relax.

“G-Good. Really good,” you gulped. Hobie smiled before pecking your lips. 

“Good enough for another quick round?” he asked with a glint in his eyes. You raised your brows.

“You...serious?” you asked between breaths. Hobie chuckled as he slowly pulled out of your dripping pussy, his cum dripping down your slit and messily painting the bedsheets. You bit your lip as you watched Hobie glide his hands against the inside of your plump, stretched-marked thighs. He slowly sank to his knees, his mouth watering as he eyed your delicious, cum-stuffed pussy. 

“I know, sweetheart. I just want to return the favor from earlier,” he husked before blowing a puff of hot air across your slick labia. You keened as he pulled your lower lips apart with his thumbs and hovered his mouth over your raw cunny. “That alright with you?” Hobie asked with a half-lidded gaze. You nodded and clutched the blanket again. 

“Fuck, y-yes,” you stammered as you kept your legs spread for him. Your boyfriend grinned before he shifted his gaze down to your engorged clit. 

"Good...been starvin' all day," he murmured. You moaned as he licked a bold, wet stripe up your slit. Your eyes rolled back as he tapped your clit with the tip of his tongue before flattening his wet muscle over your sensitive bud. 

“Christ, your pussy tastes divine,” he murmured before pressing a sloppy kiss over your whole cunt. You moaned and bucked your hips forward as he swiped his tongue against your hole, collecting your combined juices and greedily guzzling it down like a man parched. 

“Fuck, Hobie,” you hissed as he dipped his thick muscle past the tight rim of your hole. Your heart raced as eagerly pumped his wet muscle inside your slick cunt. Your body pulsed with heat as he dragged his tongue in and out, his pace sloppy as he sent sending shivers down your spine.

“Could eat this f’every meal and never go hungry, I fuckin’ swear,” he groaned before slapping your bum and diving back in. You moaned as Hobie indulged in your dripping cunt. He groaned as you ground your hips against his face, smearing your combined juices against his sharp chin. You squeaked when he pinched your thigh right as you squeezed your eyes shut again. “Eyes on me, baby,” Hobie reminded you before licking another bold stripe between your folds. You released a shaky breath and nodded before you gritted your teeth.

“Shit,” you moaned as he painted sloppy strokes up and down your slit. He inhaled sharply as he quickly sucked hard over your bundle of nerves, your clit aching with pleasure. “Oh my God,” you choked as he puckered his plump lips around your clit, his chin grinding against your puckering entrance. You squealed as he tenderly sucked on your button while he massaged your supple thighs. His low moans reverberated deep inside your core, your body shivering as he messily kissed up and down your pussy. Your eyes nearly crossed as he shoved his tongue inside your hole again, his languid thrusts making you gasp and strain against your binding.

“H-Hobie wait! I think I’m about to-“ your voice cut off when he pinched your clit. You let out a silent scream as your legs clamped down on his head, your second orgasm crashing over you in a violent wave of bliss. You wailed and rubbed your cunt against his face as your walls contracted around his soft tongue. Hobie’s eyes rolled back as you drenched his face, his mouth wide open and guzzling down your delectable juices. He rubbed your legs as you whimpered and rode out your orgasm on his lips.

You panted wildly as you felt yourself float back down to earth, your whole being trembling as you blinked away tears of pleasure. Hobie grunted as he slowly dragged his tongue out of you, his eyes glazed over with lust. He glanced at you as he pressed a quick kiss to your folds before leaning over your shivering form, his cheeks sucked in a little. You parted your lips as he lowered himself and suddenly slipped his tongue inside your warm mouth. 

You mewled as the heady taste of your combined juices cascaded over your tongue and slid down your throat. Hobie rumbled lowly as he watched you swallow your spend. His eyes softened before he pulled back and carefully ripped the webbing from your wrists.

“Did so well f’me, sweet girl,” he murmured gently as he smoothed his hands over your hips. You gave him an exhausted grin as he rested on top of you, his tall form draped over your glowing body. You sighed as you wrapped your arms around his back, tracing your finger along every dip and curve of his muscles.

"Need anythin'?" Hobie asked, his lips brushing against your earlobe. You hummed to yourself.

"A bath would be nice," you smile sheepishly. Your boyfriend grinned before he pushed himself up. Your body glowed with warmth as you reached your hand over and cupped his face. “I think you'll have to carry me, though,” you giggled. Hobie chuckled as he smoothed his hands against your sides.

“Anything for my girl,” he murmured softly.

----

Thank you for reading! 💖

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[kimis-gloves]

Runnin' Home To You - read on ao3

The winter break. The time of year that either leaves people longing for more, or an appreciated break from the world of cars and speed. For Charles leclerc it's a different situation. During this time of year, he's apart from everything he loves, everyone he loves. The way he grabs onto charles when they share a podium, the looks they share while they achieve one of their few moments alone. Charles can't see his life in racing without Max Verstappen being there with him. From the early years of karting, Charles knew he loved max. His entire mind and way of thinking revolves around max. The way he races, the way he does not find any genuine attraction to anyone other than max. It's almost as if he's been poisoned and rotted by his fellow dutchman. 

After Abu Dhabi, Charles found himself not wanting to leave Max's side because he knew that once he did, it would be one of if not the last time he saw Max before the next season's testing. His heart ached everytime he had to spend time away from max. He wondered if Max ever felt the same way, he doubted that as he watched Max walk over to his new girlfriend, one that came upon somewhat suddenly. He watched as they hugged each other tightly, embracing the other's presence as Max exclaimed with joy after winning his fourth world drivers championship. When Max leans in to kiss her, Charles can't bear to watch as it just hurts too much to see the man he's loved for his entire life, act so affectionately to someone that isn't him. 

That was what Charles thought would be the last time he saw Max that year. He spent most of his winter break attempting to take his mind off of the fact that he is so in love with the boy who was sent from the stars. He spent nights laying in bed, deeply wishing Max was there with him. To laugh with and to hold, to stare into his oceans of eyes and tell him how right from the start, he was the light in the dark. 

But alas he can't. He lay there in his cold, empty bed and continued to wish. It's a colder & rainy night, not cold enough to snow. He listens to the droplets of rain rattle against his windows, as he turns over to face the moonlit & rain scattered window, he hears a loud, but stern knock at his apartment door. 

“What the-”

knock, knock, knock

2:37AM

After quickly checking his phone, Charles drags himsout of his bed, throwing on the nearest joggers and whatever loose tee he can get his hands on. As he's making his way towards his front door, hes wondering who on earth could be at his door at this hour, surely nobody import-

“Max?!”

“Charles.. May I please come in?”

“Oh, of course here..”

As Charles is making wax for Max, he's left utterly speechless as to why Max Verstappen is at his door, dripping wet with monacan rain, asking to be let in. surely there's no logical reason for this. 

“Max.. why are you here”

“Shit- charles im sorry, i knew it would be a mistake coming here.”

“No, talk to me.”

Charles brings them both over to the sofa, he offers max a drink but he abruptly declines

“So max, are you going to tell me why you've shown up at my doorstep, at 3 in the morning and soaking wet?”

“She left me, charles.”

‘Oh. I'm sorry to hear that, but it doesn't really explain why you're here like this.”

“Something in me just really needed to see you, I tried calling Daniel for a word of advice but nothing and nobody is helping. I guess I just- really needed to be with you for this. You understand, right?”

Charles is at a loss for words. THE max verstappen.. needed him?? He didn't know how to respond or how to feel about this information, all he could do was sit there and stare at his beloved, not noticing his gaze moving to the freckle on Max’s light pink lip. 

“Charles?”

“Uh- yes max. I get how you feel. Sometimes you just can't help but only want one specific person at times.”

“Yeah”

The two men sit there in silence, thoughts racing through minds. Max worries that he's making Charles uncomfortable so he's urged by his mind to get up and leave. He really doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to make his situation worse by ruining things with the person he genuinely loved. The person that was the root of his breakup with his now ex girlfriend.  

 - 40 minutes before -

“You only talk about charles!! Charles did this, Charles said that. Charles talked about these things and that person charles charles charles!! I’M supposed to be your girlfriend, not charles. I've had enough of being put second to somebody you're supposed to be rivals with. It's going to be either me or Charles, Max.”

Max did not respond to her, instead he walked out the door and walked straight to charles apartment where he knew charles would lie awake at that hour. 

Ever since Max was a young boy, he knew he had some types of feelings for charles. He didn't care about winning against the other racers, he only enjoyed racing against charles. Seeing the way Charles would be left frustrated after knowing Max is the only one he couldn't take on. He enjoyed the rush he got from teasing Charles of the win, knowing he would come out on top every single time. 

When Max met Kelly, he thought he had found it all, but soon he started to feel as if there was something missing. He felt empty. When he realized it was because of these feelings for Charles, he tried so desperately to ignore them but the more he tried the more he couldn't keep his mind, or his eyes off of charles. He thought Charles was the most beautiful thing to have ever existed. Charles was everything to max and max was everything to charles, but neither of the which knew of the others “secret”

—

“I think i should leave, im sorry charles”

“What? Why?’

“This was wrong. Enjoy your night.”

“Max”

Max turns towards the door aiming to leave but charles quickly follows and grabs max by the back of his shoulder

“Max.”

Brushing off Charles's hand, he stands there, slightly hovering over charles.

“Please stay” he says, looking up into the madness of max's eyes.

And that was all max needed to feel sure that coming here was, in fact, not a mistake. 

[bordysbae]

Bordy comforting you when you feel like nobody understand you and u just really feel sad because of your friends and social anxiety and need comfort. 🤍🤍

Sorry lmao, this how i feel AHAHHAAH

“the bar”

thomas bordeleau x reader

word count: 0.8k

mon chérie - my dear

also! if ANY of you ever need someone to talk to about anything i promise i don’t bite! i also struggle with bad social anxiety so i know exactly how you feel, and i’d be more than happy to talk with any of you guys! don’t be afraid to message me if you feel like you need a friend to talk to <3

if this isn’t what you wanted just lmk!

your friends had invited you earlier in the week to go out to the local bar everyone goes to on friday nights. as much as you hated bars and parties, you felt pressured into going so you said yes. as you’re standing quietly behind your friends as they order their drinks, it suddenly becomes your turn to order. “y/n, what do you want?” your roommate smiles at you. your heart begins to race, you hated ordering for yourself. “i uh, i-i’ll get whatever you got i guess” you shrug. she nods and turns around to order you a drink, which you have no idea what it even was.

as time passes slowly and your friends become more intoxicated, they slowly slip away from you into the crowd leaving you standing in a corner alone, still sipping on the drink you ordered at least an hour ago. your mind feels like it’s running at a million miles per hour, so you walk through the crowded room and head for the bathroom. as you walk farther away from the music the less loud it sounds, until you lock yourself in the one stall bathroom, causing the music to become muffled. you open up your contacts and press the first person you can think of, your boyfriend thomas. “y/n? what’s going on?” he says groggily, causing you glance up at the time in the corner of your screen, seeing it’s already 12:32. “oh no i’m so sorry, did i wake you?” you say as you frantically pace around the small bathroom. “yes but it’s alright, what’s going on mon chérie? i thought you were with your friends” “i am, sort of. they all got drunk and ran off somewhere, and m-my mind is going too fast for me to think straight. i- i think i’m having an anxiety attack” you stutter out to him. you hear the alert in his voice as he says, “let me venmo you for an uber, come back to my place love.” “o-okay. i need to find my friends, i-i’ll call you from the uber” you say, as you hang up the phone to go face your fears of the large group just outside of the bathroom door.

as you exit the bathroom you feel your phone vibrate as thomas sends you money for an uber, and that’s when you see your roommate and 1 of the other people you went out with. “y/n! where were you?” your roommate asks, nearly slurring her words. “i went to the bathroom, i um, i think im gonna head home. i’m having really bad anxiety right now.” “oh, okay? how are you getting home?” “thomas got me an uber” “alright, bye y/n! see you tomorrow, now let’s go dance c’mon!” she says as she grabs the hand of your other drunk friend and they both scurry off into the crowd. you’re kidding. my own roommate can’t even stay with me ‘till the uber comes? you think to yourself. you see that the uber is almost here, so you make your way through the crowd and outside to the cold, late night, michigan air. you get into the uber and call thomas back. you smile softly as his face fills the frame of your phone screen. “you got the uber just fine?” he asks, rubbing his eyes. “yes thank you love.” you smile, acting as if your mind isn’t still running too fast for your liking.

you didn’t even realize how fast your brain was going until suddenly you’re brought back to earth as thomas opens his front door, embracing you in his warmth. “hi mon chérie, come in” he says as he steps aside to let you in. his words cause tears to brim at your eyes, which you try not to let fall. you haven’t felt this overwhelmed in a very long time, so this is a lot for you.

you both walk into his bedroom and he gestures for you to sit on his bed, as he walks over to his closet grabbing you a pair of his sweats and a hoodie. once you slip the clothes on and do your night routine, you crawl into bed next to him as he lifts the covers for you. “cmon lets cuddle” he says softly as you curl up next to him. as he pulls you closer to him, the tears from earlier you thought had disappeared come back, falling down your cheeks. “oh y/n, what’s wrong?” he says, as he gently runs his fingers through your hair as your head rests against his bare chest. “i feel so stupid, i cant even go out on a friday night with my friends without having an anxiety attack. and when i told my friends, th-they just ran off, barely even caring. i just feel so embarrassed” you say, tears staining your cheeks.

thomas lifts you off of his chest gently and sits up, looking down at you. “stop. you are far from stupid, you’re a human. it’s normal to feel anxious at times, and anxiety is not an ‘unnormal’ thing. i love you for who you are and your friends suck if they don’t stick around to care for you. i love you more than words can even describe and i hate seeing you like this” he says, pulling you into a hug. you wrap your arms around his bare back, and he rocks you both side to side slowly. “can we go to sleep, i just want tonight to be over” “of course my love” he says, laying you both down onto his bed softly. you cuddle into his side, his warm skin being all that you feel against you. you gently trace his tattoos until you feel your eyes begin to flutter shut, and you let them. a soft kiss being pressed against your temple is the last thing you feel as you fall into a warm, deep sleep next to the one person who you love most in this world.

[tooruslove]

maybe this will sound a bit stupid, but imagine you and oikawa got into a fight (a stupid one it wasnt even a big deal) and none of you two wants to apologise first. and every night when u go to sleep u cant sleep without cuddling one another. and i will leave this imagination to you <3

its my first time requesting so dont judge 😖

anyway i hope u have a good day/night, and drink some water!!!!

hello my love, apologies for being late as i've been out most of the day,, i actually love this request so be assured that it does not sound stupid <3

warnings? hurt to comfort and mentions of fights with significant other.

pride over-powers rational thinking

"just shut up, tooru!" you said in a considerable loud tone, anger clouding your vision.

"oh god, you're being so fucking over-dramatic." oikawa pinched the bridge of his nose and his jaw was clenched tightly. his voice never rose a single octave but it was impossible to miss the irate tone of his voice.

"over-dramatic?” you ask in disbelief, “you know what? fine oikawa, sorry i have fucking feelings i need to express."

oikawa's anger had faded and his face contorted from annoyance to shock. you never used his last name. the icy cruel expression painted on your face made him shiver.

fists gripped harshly, he turned and left the room, his aggravated footsteps fading out as he walked out.

eventually, silence had corrupted your living-space. not calming silence, but the type that could drive you insane.

"shit.." you muttered. it wasn't meant to go this far. it was such a stupid fight which escalated for no reason. you both had shitty days and took it out on each other.

no more words were exchanged through out the rest of the evening between the two of you. you got into bed first, nestling yourself in your duvet but suddenly, there a weight next to you causing the mattress to sink down just a little.

now usually, the lights would turn off and oikawa would hug you from behind, nuzzling himself in your neck. but tonight, the lights were turned off and then, nothing. no hugs or kisses. just more deafening silence.

you couldn't sleep. you missed his warmth enveloping you, his aura giving you a calming feeling allowing you to sleep in minutes. the way he would hug you protectively, not letting danger lay a single finger upon you.

but now, you were left with a cold sensation. guilt filling your heart to the brim. were you being over-dramatic?

you leaned over to your bedside table and picked up your phone to check the time.

2:56 AM

dammit.

you sat up in bed, trying not to wake your lover. you let your feet hit the cool floor and you stood up. you crept outside the room, opening the door and shutting it behind you. you walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. you couldn’t sleep so you might as well try to stay hydrated. you filled up the glass and took a sip. 

you finished the drink and put it in the sink, you’d just wash it in the morning. you sighed and placed your hands on the counter in front of you, letting the thoughts in your mind race but they were suddenly interrupted by a voice.

“princess?” it spoke groggily.

your head snapped towards the voice to reveal a concerned oikawa. 

“oh, uh yeah?” you asked awkwardly.

he started walking to you slowly whilst yawning. “why are you down here? its so late.”

you looked at the ground and spoke. “i just couldn’t sleep so i got some water.”

you could feel his tired eyes watching you observantly and you heard him sigh. “listen, im sorry about the argument we had. i shouldn’t have made you mad and i regret it all.” he said, embracing you in a warm hug you’ve been craving.

you let yourself melt into his touch and let out a shaky breath. “no tooru, i should be the one apologising. i was over-reacting and i made things so difficult. im so sorry.”

you felt the vibrations of oikawas chuckle, “i guess we’re both a little to blame and if we’re being honest, i couldn’t sleep either.” 

you laughed softly before asking. “you wanna go back to bed?” 

“oh, definitely princess.” he said before kissing your soft lips.

you both went back into your bed and snuggled in the covers, holding onto one another as if someone was going to take the other away. oikawa caressed your hair.

“you know i love you, right?” he spoke.

“i love you too.” you said tiredly, feeling your eyelids becoming heavy.

oikawa held you as close as possible and in minutes, you both fell fast asleep. 

how was that? alright im hoping!! if possible please give me feedback on my writing and don’t forget to take care of yourself, <333

[thefanficmonster]

I’m Right Here

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of a car accident (minor), Injuries

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Summary: There is nothing scarier than those moments when every breath you take is shallow; when your heart is racing and your body is drenched in cold sweat. When you are rushing to the aid of a hurt loved one, knowing you can never be fast enough because your mind and fear are at least a mile ahead of you. Corpse has to experience these exact moments after a frightening call that informs him of his girlfriend’s car accident.

Requested by @sugiliteshadow . Hi! Thank you so much for you request, darling. Sorry to be posting it so late and I can’t thank you enough for your patience. I hope the fic itself makes up for the wait. Please enjoy! Stay safe! Love, Vy ❤

It’s been about an hour since I got off the phone with Y/N and my concern is through the roof. She called me from the parking lot of the office building where she works at, telling me she’s be home in less than half an hour and asking if I needed her to pick up anything along the way. I have been trying to brush away the worries, comforting myself with the fact that I did request a specific type of iced tea and knowing Y/N, she’s probably looking for it in multiple stores because she couldn’t find it in the convenience store that’s along her way back home. I should’ve told her not to sweat it considering I don’t need it right away or anything.  I have tried distracting myself with editing just to hinder myself from picking up my phone and debating weather to call her or not. I may be worried but I don’t wanna put her life in danger by calling her while she’s driving.

I keep my hands on my keyboard and mouse, my phone halfway across the room just in case. Another thirty minutes pass by with no sound of the door being unlocked or even a car pulling up. My fingers are beginning to drum over the buttons on my keyboard anxiously. I have had to go back and redo so many things with the video I’m editing because my mind simply isn’t present. It’s wandering around the city, looking for that one familiar car that’s always outside our house, parked in the driveway. That’s currently being driven by my girlfriend of two years Y/N.

My phone’s ringtone snaps me out of the downwards spiral of my thoughts, simultaneously picking up the speed of my heartbeat. I basically launch myself out of my chair and towards the bed where the ringing is coming from. I feel a wave of relief rush over me when I see Y/N’s name on the lit screen.

“Hey babe, where have you been?“ I ask as soon as I answer the call. It feels like my whole body shuts down when I finally pick up on the sound of blaring sirens in the background.

“Sir, I’m sorry to inform you Miss Y/L/N has been in an accident.” The words the female voice on the phone says cut through me like a knife, sending chills of paralyzing fear all over my body, “You were the last person she contacted before the accident which is why we’ve stepped in contact with you. However, if you are not able to come collect Miss Y/L/N, please contact a family member of hers.“

The calmness of her tone is freaking me out of my skin and mind, “Is she ok?! Where is she?!“

“She’s alright, sir. She’s not completely conscious yet, though. But she will be by the time you arrive. Her injuries are not in any way life-threatening. She has a few cuts and bruises and a concussion. A medical team has already taken care of her.“

Before I know it, I’m already out the door, the location the policewoman gave me in my head as I get behind the wheel of my car which I rarely use. Thankfully, the road the accident happened on is less than fifteen minutes away. Due to the late hour there is close to no traffic on the roads so I make it to the scene in no time.  Y/N’s car is surrounded by two cop cars and two ambulances. I barely even notice the black Honda Civic that is almost equally as beat up as Y/N’s Toyota. Speaking of the Toyota, its front bumper is completely obliterated - the headlights, blinkers and windshield in pieces and shards on the pavement. 

In the first ambulance there’s a guy passed out on a gurney with an ivy rip connected to his arm. In the one next to it is Y/N, sitting hunched over with her head hanging low, her hair falling over her face. 

“Y/N?“ I rush over to her, reaching out to touch her shoulder but withdrawing my arm in case she has a bruise in that spot.

She lifts her head, a look of relief and happiness flashing across her face. She lets out a sigh, a small smile appearing on her lips as her eyes fill with tears. “Corpse...” her hand reaches out for mine which is still hanging in the air. I give her my other hand and she uses me as support to slowly stand up. She lets go of my hands and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug as a quiet sob leaves her chest. “I was so scared when I woke up. I couldn’t remember anything.”

“It’s ok, you’re ok now. I’m here, I’m right here.“ I gently smooth her hair while carefully holding her in my embrace. She has a few purple bruises along her arms and cuts on her cheek and neck which are covered in white bandages with small dark red stains. The most major thing I can see is the cut on her left temple which is also covered up. I press a tender kiss to the right one. “Are you in any pain?“ I pull away to get a better look at her.

Thankfully she shakes her head, “No, I’m ok. My elbow hurts a little but that’s it.”

I nod, moving a strand of hair behind her ear, kissing her forehead. Just as I’m about to ask her what exactly happened one one of the police officers approaches us.

“A drunk driver. He ran the red light and crashed straight into her car.“ The officer says, judging by her voice it’s the same woman that called me. “You don’t remember that, do you?“

Y/N turns to her, “I just remember hearing a loud crash and then darkness. I didn’t know what had happened until you told me when I woke up.”

The policewoman gives us a sincere smile, lightly touching Y/N’s shoulder “It’s ok, sweetheart. You are alright, that’s what matters. And you have someone here by your side.”

Y/N’s eyes meet mine when she gives me the most loving glance, the one that I often catch in her eyes - the one that always melts me. “He always is.” she says, running her fingers down my arm, interlocking hers with mine when they reach my hand.

The policewoman tells us good night and walks over to the other ambulance. We stick around to see the cars get taken away and Y/N gives her info so they can contact her when the car is repaired. I know how much she loves that car - it’s the first and only car she has ever owned. She has had it for about seven years and calls it her child basically. I never thought I’d be jealous of a car in my life - just kidding. But my point has been made - she’s never been apart from it or driven another car.

Wrapping my arm around her while she watches her car being taken away, I turn her around, leading her towards my car. “Let’s get you home. You’ll be 100% under my care and no complaints will be accepted.”

She rolls her eyes playfully, snuggling up into my side, “Don’t make a big deal about this please. And, for the love of God, don’t baby me too much, ok?”

I grin down at her, “What was that, I didn’t quite catch it?“

“Corpseeee...“ She pouts, a frown on her face, making her look so childish it’s absolutely adorable.

“Save the whining, it ain’t gonna work.“ I open the door to the passenger seat, stepping aside so she can get in the my car.

Surprisingly enough, she actually doesn’t complain the rest of the way home nor when we arrive. Nor when I instruct her to stay in bed and not move unless it’s absolutely necessary. I basically bring all the snacks from the kitchen into our room while she compiles a list of movies we will be watching because no sleep will be had tonight.  “I love you.“ Y/N says through a sigh halfway through the second movie.

“I love you too. But don’t fall asleep.“ I tickle her side, causing her to giggle and squirm in an attempt to get away from me.

“Ok, ok, but you’re gonna have to help me. If I blink, I’ll be a goner.“ She yawns, shuffling back towards me. When she flashes me that hinting wide smile, I know exactly what she’s insinuating.

I sigh, giving in with ease. “When you were here before...“

“Couldn’t look you in the eye...“ she backs me up just as I knew she would

“You’re just like an angel...“

“Your skin makes me cry...“

Needless to say, we end up duetting random songs - rap songs, heavy metal, pop songs, some of my songs, some Christmas songs, Disney songs - making it one of the best movie marathons we’ve ever had, the unfortunate events of the day far behind us and completely gone from our minds.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @symphony-butterfly  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @baby-iyania  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @pinkhairedsapphic  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap  @maybe-im-dead-idk  @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade  @chaoticgayandnerdy  @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @strawberrycheesecakekenzistuff  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @amysingh2512  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @faepetersen  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[s4ijoh]

meet me halfway (across the globe). suna rintarou

SUNA RINTAROU X GN! READER

GENRE: slice of life; facetime call; fluff

WORD COUNT: 1.4k+

WARNINGS: established relationship; mentions of stress

in which suna is somewhere far away…

[10:22] rin: “you up?”

[10:23] rin: “big game tomorrow morning.”

[10:23] rin: “cant’ sleep. need to see u.”

the phone buzzing on the bedside table startles you out of your morning somnolence. the empty spot in bed next to you feels a weird type of unfamiliar. you drowsily stretch your arms out, reaching for the ringing device while dragging out a loud yawn.

you are taken aback by surprise once you take a look at the numbers displayed on your phones lock screen: 10:25am. its already past midnight in his timezone. he shouldn’t be up this late.

swiping through your phone's screen, you waste no time in dialling his number once you come across the green facetime icon and luckily, it is only a brief moment until he is picking up and oh boy are you met with a sight to behold. if it werent for your concern, you could’ve just stayed there, marvelling in awe at your boyfriend, sitting shirtless against the headboard in all his glory. his pale skin is gleaming a beautiful shade of orange under the dim light of the table lamp thus reminiscing a statue made of gold; his tousled, black feathery hair sticking in all different directions yet with just a few loose strands cascading down the sides of his temple and framing his face in such way that made him look effortlessly handsome.

he looked as beautiful as ever. however, despite the apparent picture perfect scenario, you would be a fool not to notice the clear signs of restlessness showcased on his features nonetheless.

“sorry, did i wake you?” suna apologizes tenderly with a doting frown on his face once he notices your lids still heavy with vestiges of somnolence just barely peeking from the bottom of the screen. your phone is propped up on your chest, the lower half of your face hidden away from him as you refuse to get up from your comfortable position laying under the warm blankets.

“dont worry about it, baby.” you hurriedly push his apologies aside whilst rubbing the sleep off your eyes to try and not make him feel too bad about it “you know you can call me anytime. im always waiting for you on the other end whenever you need me”

he offers you a subtle smile, although its odd — its weak, not sincere. it is not the usual signature smirk with a teasing remark on the side you earn whenever you say something cheesy. it is also hard to miss the darkening spots growing under his tired eyes, his usual sparkly green orbs now nearing dull, heavy with underlying frustration. it made it all crystal clear.

rintarou is not an outwardly emotional person and definitely not one to voice his concerns. his pleas for help were often left unspoken and it takes a sharp eye to see through his unwavering surface. for the most part, the blank expression he's seen wearing most of the time did a pretty good job at shielding his feelings yet his eyes often betrayed him.

he had taken off a couple days ago to somewhere foreign for an important match. you know how sometimes, before a decisive match takes place, he lets pressure get to that pretty head of his and relies on you to keep him grounded and soothe his racing mind. for the longest time, he had been capable of keeping his emotions at bay and deal with his troubles on his own but ever since you came around, rintarou found himself growing selfish and craving your comfort, finding solace in your reassuring words and warm embrace.

you miss the old days when your lover was just at an arm's length and all it took was for him to say the word for you to drop everything and come running to his house, to hold him in your arms and make it all feel better. you remember people in highschool claiming suna was bound to fade into the background given his lazy tendencies and lack of enthusiasm. (what a waste of potential, they would say) suna would shrug. he never payed any mind to it — you praised him on his unshakable nature. it should be a major ego boost for rintarou to know that, not that many years later and against the spiteful tongues of some of your classmates, he made a name for himself as a first division professional volleyball player, thus proving them wrong.

however, he still has quite a few demons to tame inside his head. one of which was self-doubt.

you let your eyes roam his tired features for a moment. “you need to get out of your head, rin”

suna knew you could read him like an open book. you made him feel vulnerable under your scrutinizing gaze. he felt exposed. to have you stare directly into his naked soul was intimidating, more so than to have you stare at his nude body, like you have done dozens of times before. but just like you did with his body, you had taken your time to get to know every corner of his soul. you knew him like the palm of your hand — both mind and body.

“i know.” he tears his gaze away from yours, looking down while running a hand through his disheveled hair and down to scratch his neck in frustration. “tell me how have your days been?”

the silence of his hotel room was eating him whole and he needed you to distract him. most of the time, suna was fond of the silence. after a rough day he found comfort in laying down in his bed and basking in the quiet. he found peace in it. sometimes it was in the quietness of his own little world that he found the solution to his problems. but upon your arrival to that mysterious world of his, your voice soon became his favorite sound. he craved you to fill in the silence that he once treasured.

and so he listens. suna listens as you talk throughout the night (who would’ve guessed you had just woken up), rambling on about your days as other trivial things — namely how you could never get used to starting the day without his morning cuddles. he found it endearing how you seemed to speak enough for the two of you. he was a man of few words so he was lucky to have found someone to fill in the silence for him. and so he listens until his eyes start progressively feeling heavy, your voice lulling him to sleep.

“hey, baby” he calls in a barely audible raspy voice. suna lays down on his side under the cold unwelcoming bed sheets, holding his phone next to his face on the pillow “put your pretty face on the phone”

a soft smile crawls its way up to your flushed face at his sugar coated words, his voice although drowsy sounding sweeter than saccharin. you were so lost in the lovely image of him that you failed to notice that your face was barely on the frame, just your eyes peeking shyly from the bottom of the screen.

you shuffle in bed, turning on your side to mirror his position. its almost as if you’re not a hundred miles apart and he's lying right next to you, if you squint hard enough.

“there you are” he mumbles weakly under his breath, a loving smile on his pillowy rosy lips that you miss dearly.

his eyes appear weary through the screen yet he never fails to look at you with the utmost love. dumbfounded, you wordlessly stare at each other as you fall into a comfortable silence that is however, filled with a hundred unspoken words.

his love is quiet, hesitant at times but never shallow. he felt deeply and feared he wasn't the best to put it into words so sometimes, his love, it hides beyond lingering stares and shy touches. it remained unuttered most of the time but words are futile when he has shown his devotion to you countless times before.

“hey rin. you think you can go to sleep, now?” you notice him fighting the urge to let his eyes close shut, battling to stay awake for a little longer to try and memorize your face for later so he can dream of you tonight.

he simply nods with his eyes shut, too sleepy to pronounce a single word.

“call me tomorrow after the game, alright?” he nods yet again, noticeably starting to drift away at last but not before muttering a quiet i love you before the last hint of consciousness leaves his body, eliciting a tender smile from you.

“i love you, rin. ill meet you in your dreams tonight.”

[a/n]: so! writing this fic made me realize that im undeniably in love with suna and he now owns a 51% share of my heart. (oikawa. ill never forget you. its not you its me (suna) maybe its time i move on. 🤒 jk jk ill have both pls and ty 🥰)

anyways ye i guess im back from my mini hiatus (as a full suna whore) :))

this is honestly a word dump, initially this was supposed to be like... what.. 500 words long? i just thought of the prompt “put your pretty face on the phone” and the rest is just me pouring my love for him into words ah-ha. (you probably noticed how it is unnecessarily cheesy 🙄)

just for the record!! i havent finished season 4 just yet 🐸 lmao. i took inspiration off of nooras (@/inarzki) characterization of suna because she was the one who made me fall in love with him in the first place.

[taentedmess]

sleepless nights

summary: a year is a long time, isn’t it? you’ve spent yours stuck in an eternal, monochrome winter. a surprise encounter derails all of your plans: feelings fade… or do they, really?

pairing: taehyung x reader

word count: 5.4k

warnings: swearing, terrible terrible angst (im sorry!), heartbreak, implied smut, angsty flashbacks :(

a/n: hi everyone! this is my very first fic on tumblr and i really hope you enjoy! please listen to spring day and scenery to really get into the feels - i hope you lose yourself in this little slice of a seoul winter :’) also i do have a storyline planned if you enjoy this little piece and could potentially even make this a series aah! please leave comments and constructive criticism - i’d love to grow as a writer! (@chateautae i finally did it!!!!!!)

[    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]

09:17am, december 17, 2020

It’s been a year since you last saw him. A year of emptiness, hollowness, blankness. A year since you turned your back, leaving without a goodbye. It’s been a year since you’ve walked out his front door, the same one that you’d find yourself visiting and revisiting when you knew he wasn’t home.

It’s been a year since you last felt some semblance of happiness, a year since you’ve let out a genuine laugh, smiled from cheek-to-cheek. It’s been a year devoid of warmth: you shivered under the embrace of the summer sun, no longer noticed the blooming flowers that you had once loved so much. The world lost all its color. Fading into a bleak grayscale so far away, unreachable. No longer did you walk with a spring in your step, no longer did your eyes glimmer with galaxies that you’d once built with him. You were empty, a ship lost in the depths of the dark oceans. Floating, barely surviving, with no set destination. All you saw were never-ending, infinite oceans in all directions. No escape, no lighthouse. Just you. Alone. Pointless.

Your heart aches for him, the echo of a honeyed baritone, the ghost of his warm, muscular arms wrapped around your shoulders.

It’s for the best, you had thought. It’s for the best.

You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts out of your mind. There was too much, too many feelings, pent-up emotions. You weren’t a woman of emotions, never were, swore to never be, until you had met him. And he had changed everything.

Stop. This is getting ridiculous.

You needed to get on with your life, you think. There are too many things to think about, so many better thoughts requiring your attention. What were you doing, wasting your energy on him? It was time, you had decided, to end things once and for all.

The ticket machine snaps you out of your reverie, demanding it get paid. How much did the trip cost? You’ve forced yourself to forget, holed up all the memories too far into the shadows of your mind in your sheer desperation to evade the pain. You slot in a W10,000 bill, way too much, but better than having to remember. The machine happily eats up the cash, returning your card and sending you on your way.

You navigate the platforms, seeing the brightly-lit signs: Incheon line, Suin line, Bundang line. Then you see it, Platform 6, Gyeongwon line. South-bound to Soyosan, stopping at Iryeong. Your heart thumps, stomach twists, and you feel like throwing up. How many times had you once ascended these very steps with him, hand-in-hand, smiling to one another? How many times had you raced up these stairs, trying to get to the platform first? It’s too much, and you want to run. Run away from this place, from the thoughts and feelings.

No. You need this.

The winter air roughly brushes against your cheeks, hurrying you along.

What are you so afraid of?

Everything, you think. Everything. You’ve bound your heart in chains and locks, plastered it with thousands of bandages, one on top of the other. You’ve holed it away, willed it out of existence. You’re afraid of the memories, the emotions. You’re afraid of yourself.

Go. Just go. Get it over with.

You force your feet to move, one after another. You don’t think, you just move. Move onto the platform, move onto the train. You don’t realize that you’ve boarded the machine until you hear an all-too-familiar voice on the loudspeaker.

“This is the Special Rapid Train, on the Gyeongwon line, headed for Sosoyan. We will be stopping at Seokgye, Wolgye, Dobong and Iryeong. Please stay clear of the sliding doors!”

You vaguely see the blinking of lights and hear the shutting of the doors. The train picks up speed, clicking against the railroads. You are blank, a passenger on an endless journey. You sway when the train sways, stop when it stops. You don’t know how many stops have passed, having lost yourself in the familiar nothingness that had hollowed you out for the past year, until the speakers announce something about the next station being Dobong. You’re near, you realize. Too near.

Too soon does the train halt, birthing out and collecting new passengers as seats empty and taken once more in a matter of seconds. You watch this interchange with a bitter smile: how quickly he must have replaced you after you’d left, how he must’ve taken in another in your place.

Stop it.

Too engrossed in your thoughts, you don’t notice the closing of the doors and the blinking of the lights until you hear the loud system once more as the train starts to accelerate.

“Iryeong, Iryeong. Our next stop is Iryeong, please get off on the right side of the train.”

You are left suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, watching as snow paints the ground white. The houses blur into trees and back into villages as you stare out the window, and you start to remember. You remember your hands intertwined, dancing in the snow, the click of a camera as the melodies of your laughs twirling in the air. You remember the snugness of his embrace, his earthy cologne, his smile, his lips pressed against yours…

Stop.

You tear your gaze away from the glass, staring down at your gloved hands fiddling in your lap. It’s been a year. It’s laughable how much and how little has changed. You’re different, yes, but yet so painfully similar to the girl who ran away. It’s funny how much of a difference, or lack thereof, a year can make, you think. It’s certainly been hard on you, and you find yourself wondering about him, about how maybe the year has changed him, how he’s doing, if he’s eating well, if…

Stop.

You’re hopeless, aren’t you?

You sigh and shut your eyes. You’re going crazy. Or maybe you’ve always been crazy. Your thoughts are feverish, a maelstrom in your mind. Involuntarily, you notice your feet rapidly tapping the metal bar to your side, vibrating against the pole. You feel the ghost of a touch on your thigh, hear the empty shell of his words, breathe, Y/N, breathe. What’s got you all worked up? And for a moment, just a moment, you feel his presence to your side, capture the warmth radiating off of his figure, and smile. Because it’s all okay when he’s here.

But he’s not.

You decide to focus on the sound of the railroads, staring down at the speckled floor of the train as the carriage undulates gently, side to side. You ride along, the train’s movements easing your own and you begin to lose yourself once again in the clacks of the rails, mind going blank, until you start to notice the slowing of the sounds. The train’s dance comes to a slow, inviting people to start getting up and shuffle towards the doors. Your heart sinks to your stomach. Not yet, not yet. It can’t be. It’s too soon.

The loudspeaker crackles to life, confirming your worst fears. “Arriving at Iryeong, please stay clear of the doors and exit on the right side of the train.”

Your legs move on their own accord, pulling you to a standing position as you grip the metal post with your life. The train continues to slow, eventually, painstakingly coming to a halt. You wish it never will, that it will continue on with its journey ahead. But it’s too late. The doors slide open, the sounds of the outside world whistle for you, calling you, urging you out of the comfort of the train. You don’t dare move, standing still as passengers trickle out, as the flashing lights start to appear, as the minute at the station starts to come to an end. The doors are closing in five. Four.

You twitch.

Three. Two.

“Wait!”

You rush out the doors, barely escaping the iron clasp of the metals that would’ve devoured you had you been a second too late. Behind you, the steel hisses as the vehicle exits the station, leaving you alone. So utterly alone.

You’re blessed with a moment of solitude, feeling nothing but the cold air chilling your face, until you realize where you are and why you’re here.

The bliss of being alone rapidly evaporates, and you’re hit with a speeding truck. The memories flood in; you’re winded, gasping for breath as you’re stormed with images, short clips of him, you, the pair of you. His smile, his laugh, his cheeks, eyes, nose. His breath tickling yours before he leans in for a kiss, his gentle, large hands cupping your face as you close your eyes…

Stop. Get a fucking grip, will you?

You force the color out of your mind as you make your way around the platform, empty now that everyone has gone. Your eyes graze against the pathetic, run-down station: the signs are only partially lit, the electricity having worn out. Your fingers run against the peeling, dirtied paint of the walls, dust bunnies catching onto your gloves. You scoff. This is pathetic. The floor is littered with plastics and old soda bottles, as if nobody’s been here to clean in too long. Graffiti smiles sadly back at you as you scan the fading walls, losing their life by the second. The bricks have faded into a musty brown, drab and uninteresting. Everything is so run down, so tired. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way to the minimart to your right, wanting a beverage to help warm your insides up.

The doors slide open with a gentle clink, altering the store of your presence. The cashier at the counter looks up at you through half-lidded eyes, barely acknowledging you, before returning to the drama playing on his cracked phone. The shelves are well-stocked, however, in stark contrast to the beaten-down appearance of this whole ordeal. You glide along the aisles, and everything is the same. Your favorite tea is still on the same shelf as it was all those months ago, his favorite gimbap in the bottom left corner of the chiller. Beef and sesame, he’d get, while you’d get a tuna for yourself, clinking your drinks and hearing the hiss of his cola opening, laughing as you made a mess of yourselves, two young fools madly in love. You’d talk, drink, eat for hours, whispering, dreaming and wishing, wondering what was going to come in the future, what you’d name your first puppy, whether you wanted a girl or a boy for your first child. Never would you have ever imagined that it would all end this way.

Stop it.

You grab your bottle of tea violently, almost knocking it over in your hurry to leave. You could no longer stay, not here, suffocating in your memories of him. You erased the gimbap out of your vision, ignoring it as you made your way to the counter, paying for your drink as the half-hearted employee handed you with your change. You mutter a thank you, unsure if he had even heard, and mindlessly make your way out of the store, too focused on keeping someone out of your head. You nearly bang into the glass doors in your haste, looking down and walking as fast as you can. Until your heart stops, that is.

You don’t dare look up, not now. The whole world slows to a stand-still, your gaze sharpening on nothing. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest, your lungs stop working. Electricity charges through the air and you’re left reeling, not knowing what to do.

Slowly, painfully, your neck raises, muscles straining with all their might. You already know what you’re going to see, who you’re going to see, but the sight of him still shocks you all the same. You nearly spill your drink all over yourself when you finally look up, and your brain goes into overdrive. You’re sure that your mouth is hanging open, jaw slack, but you can’t do anything about it. Your knees buckle, you can’t breathe, suffocating, wanting the ground to swallow you up at this very moment. You want to fall, tumble into an eternal tunnel. You are dizzy, light-headed, going crazy, you swear. You’re going crazy, aren’t you? This can’t be real, can it?

You can’t believe it. You’re drowning, drowning in those chocolate eyes, sinking into his pupils, losing yourself in his gorgeous features. You drink him all in, his own face mirroring yours, in no doubt absolute shock or maybe even despair, his deadly stare making your breath hitch as it once did so long ago. He’d never lost his power over you, after all. The world is suspended around you, all operations ceased as you both continue to stare into each other’s eyes, the tension so palpable that it threatens to devour you whole. Your larynx seems to be glued shut, your tongue a stone in your mouth. There are no words, no way to express this feeling that washes over you upon seeing him again.

“Y/N…”

His voice. Your ears ring with his deep baritone, honey to your ears. You can’t help it: you quite literally swoon, despite the circumstances. His voice: it ignites a fire within you, warm tendrils of heat rising up from your stomach. Vibrations send throughout your core, making you lightheaded and sure that you’re about to fall. You remember his timber next to you in the dead of light, comforting you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, it’s okay, it’s okay, breathe, it’s okay, you’re here with me.

You hug your arms around yourself, trying to keep it all in, retain the strange feeling that was now foreign to you after months of cold. It’s been too long, after all - you’ve gone too long deprived of this humanness, comfort that radiated off of him.

Things are different now, Y/N.

Yes, they are. Your mind goes berserk once more, considering all of the scenarios. Why is he here? He probably just needs to go to the minimart - no, why would he come all this way, he lives pretty far as well, or maybe he’s waiting on a friend, no, maybe he’s brought a new girlfriend, maybe she’s with him right now waiting to jump out of the shadows. Maybe they’re both exchanging looks right now when I’m not looking, laughing, taunting me, this girl from the past who doesn’t deserve to be here, maybe they all think I’m a joke now, what am I doing, why, why, why?

You’re so lost in your thoughts that when Taehyung addresses you once more, you’re violently jolted out of your mind and nearly fall backwards, body forgetting everything but the sound of his voice.

“Y/N…” he says again, forcing you to look up at him. Your name splinters through the air from his lips, cutting through the frost and straight into your chest; you notice now that his voice seems tired, that he seems tired.

You finally regain some semblance of control over your frozen tongue, lips moving in an attempt to emit a sound, any sound. Your lips wrap around the sole syllable that comes to you like muscle memory, the only one that you manage to choke out.

“T-Tae…”

Your voice cracks, unable to continue. The prolonged eye-contact has got you weak, his pupils boring into your soul. You look into his eyes, reciprocating, and you notice that maybe they’ve lost their golden sheen, that they no longer twinkle with constellations of stars. And it’s then that you realize: maybe the year has taken a toll on him too.

Look at what you’ve done to him.

“T-Tae, I, I, I…” you sputter out, guilt flooding your system like a drug. There was nothing you could say, nothing you could tell him to cheat yourself out of the situation or paint yourself in a better light like you’re so used to doing. You’re not used to feeling this powerless, this weak. Taehyung was the only one who saw through the facade, the only one who allowed you to feel vulnerable. You couldn’t lie to him, you knew you couldn’t; there was no wheedling, no bullshitting, no lying yourself out of any sticky situation, which had caused you this whole trouble in the first place. You ran because you were too much of a coward to talk to him, to confide in him. And look where that’s gotten you.

“Why are you here?” he asks, burying his head in his hands. “Y/N, why are you here?”

Why am I here? You don’t really know as well, there’s nothing that you can say to him. Why am I here? To get over him? How are you even going to tell him? He has to think that you’re over him, that it’s done. Stop torturing yourself, and stop dragging him through this mess of your life. Tell him that it’s done.

“I… I came because…”

Y/N, say something?

“I came because I… I was looking for you.”

What the fuck?

His head snaps up, his piercing stare catching your gaze once again. “You were looking for me?”

You feel your heart stop.

“Umm… well, I mean, no, but, no, well actually if I think about it now, yeah, yeah I was looking for you,” you stammer, unable to produce a single cohesive line of thought. “I was looking for you because I wanted to tell you that it’s over.”

Your own words are like a dagger twisting into your own heart and vaguely hear a choked sound breaking the awful, awful silence. Until you realize that it’s come from your own mouth, a sob that you hadn’t even realized that you were holding in.

A moment of charged silence goes by, yet louder than any noise that either of you could’ve let out. Never in your life has silence felt so utterly deafening, and you wish to cover your ears and scream it all out.

“You’re telling me this now?” Taehyung manages, features distorted in pain. “You’re telling me this now, a whole fucking year after you walk out the door without a single word to me?”

You look down at the ground, hating, blaming your traitorous mouth for saying something that you hadn’t fully thought through.

No, Y/N. You have to stop bringing everyone down.

You’ve lost all rational thought when you say, “yes, Taehyung. Yes. I had nothing to say to you then and nothing to say to you now. It’s done and it’s over.”

You couldn’t even say sorry?

The frosty wind brushes over the pair of you, causing you to shiver in your boots. You want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear, pretend that this never happened, that this was all a bad dream.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a security guard watching the whole exchanged with piqued interest. It’s none of your fucking business, you want to scream. It’s none of your fucking business. And yet you’re so humiliated, embarrassed at this whole mess that you’ve made of not only yourself but the situation in its entirety that you cannot muster up any words to merely defend yourself. You want to cry, sob, yell, scream.

“Fine, Y/N, it’s okay. You know what? It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation, you don’t owe me anything, not an apology, not a reason, not your love. It’s okay. It’s fine. Maybe you never loved me, saw me in the same way. Maybe I just assumed, maybe it was wrong of me to assume. Maybe I was too optimistic, too in love with you that I had forced myself to believe the story that I had made up in my head, that you were in love with me too. Maybe I had wanted it, wanted you so bad that I had made myself believe it. Made myself believe that you were in love with me.”

Your heart instinctually reaches out to him, drumming feverishly against your fragile ribcage. No, you want to scream. No, Taehyung, you couldn’t be more fucking wrong. He doesn’t know the way your heart beats for him in the dead of night, how the mere thought of him sends shivers down your spine, how every cell in your body, every thread of your being aches, yearns for his presence with every hour, every minute, every second.

You feel your heart breaking, splintering into thousands, millions of tiny little fragments raining down like shards of glass. It hurts, it hurts like hell.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t force yourself into anything. There’s no need to anymore. There’s no more need to lie, no more need to pretend that you’re happy.”

“Thank you for telling me the truth.”

It’s not the truth, you want to cry. It’s not. It’s the farthest from it. But you return his look, tight-lipped. You nod, despite the swell of emotions that are threatening to cut you in half at this very moment.

“You’re welcome.”

He reciprocates your nod and slowly, painfully, tears his eyes from yours. He stands up, gingerly, as if hesitating, and you want to tell him to stop, to sit back down, that you’re lying to him, that you want him, that you want him more than anything in this world. But you don’t, and he continues onto his feet, sparing you one last gaze.

“At least I get to say goodbye,” he says, wistfully. “At least I now have the chance to say goodbye.”

You’re sure that tears are streaming down your face at this point, little trails of ice making their way down your blushed cheeks. Your lips are tight, and you cannot, for the life of you, return his look.

Before you can fully comprehend what’s happening, you know he’s here, the familiar hold of his arms, your face finding itself nestled on the same spot on his chest, right above his heart. You feel it beat, gently, slowly, under your ear, a comforting rhythm that you’ve too often fallen asleep to, whispered to. Your arms instinctually wrap around his waist, and his head settles on the crook of your neck, the curve of his nose gently kissing your delicate skin. His warmth radiates from under his coat, and you soak it all in, collecting as much as you can. You are two puzzle pieces, a perfect fit, and you will this moment into eternity, searing it into your memory, wishing for the world to stop, stop right now and leave you in this moment forever. You’ve been lost, wandering, and have finally come home.  

But forever doesn’t exist.

You’re struck with a blast of cold at his loss, feeling horribly empty. He steps away from you, and you’re almost certain that you see moisture in his eyes, tears threatening to break free. Every fiber of your being yearns for him, you want to reach out to him, extend the hug, shower him in kisses, make up and forget that this all even happened, but you’re too prideful. You can’t let yourself do this.

“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you for everything.”

And just like that, he’s gone.

                                            [    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]

11:42am, March 12 2021

[taehyung]

I miss you.

I miss you as the seasons come and go, I miss you as I watch the world going to shit, losing all hope. I miss you when the wind blows, taking me along like a pointless man, destined for nowhere. I’ll miss you eternally; I’ll miss you when all the ice melts into the ocean, I’ll miss you when everything’s finally disappeared and there’s utter nothing left for me.

I miss you in the brightest mornings and the darkest nights, when the sun comes out to play and the rain starts pelting down like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll miss you in the loneliest winters and the blooming springs.

Everything reminds me of you. I am stuck in this eternal frost without you here; your loss has trapped me into this winter forever. I am slowly losing feel of my limbs as they succumb to the cold around me - everything has frozen into place, trapping me into the confines of this perpetual season. The world is closing in, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. No longer do I have you to lead me out of this snow, no longer do I have you to hold my hand and bring me warmth through it all.

Why did you have to go?

Baby, did you know how much pain I’d be in when you’d left? Did you know how much it would hurt, how you’ve trapped me into this never-ending arctic, leaving me behind to freeze?

Did you know when you chose to go?

You’ve left me in ruins, my love. I can’t continue without you. I’m struggling to breathe, suffocating, as the world collapses inwards, threatening to bury me alive. I wait for you everyday, through all of the grief, the pain. I still wait for the day that you come back, that I get to see your face again.

Or maybe I’m a dumbass. I don’t know. Have you changed? Or is it I who has? Or perhaps, us both? I’m still a lovesick fool for you, Y/N, that I can tell you for sure. I can’t stop thinking of you, as the days pass, sun and moon taking their turns in the sky. I’m left, suffering in this darkness, bleakness without you here. I wonder if you’ll still be there at the end, when all ceases to exist. I wonder if I’ll see you again; how much more do I have to wait? How many more sleepless nights will have to pass before I can lay my eyes upon you again? How many days, months, years do I have to hold back before I get to feel you, touch you, kiss you, one more time?

Or maybe I’m being optimistic. You know what, Y/N, I’ll never see you again, maybe you’re better off without me. Maybe it’s all for the best, maybe it’s time for me to move on, maybe it’s time for you to move on. Maybe it really was not meant to be, maybe you really weren’t the one for me.

Then why can’t I get you out of my head?

Y/N, I wish I could just forget you. I wish you never existed, I wish I had never gotten to know you. Then it would be so much easier for me. I wish that you had ignored me, that you had turned me down when you had the chance. It would’ve been the most pain that I’d feel at the time, but believe me, it’s nothing compared to this.

Now I can’t get rid of you, no matter how hard I try. You’re there, you’re there when I lie down and close my eyes for the night, you’re there at work, hiding behind my papers and my laptop, waiting to take me out to lunch. You’re everywhere, baby, you’re in the car, riding shotgun and racing to connect to Bluetooth first, singing at the top of your lungs as we speed down the highway like the reckless teenagers that we were. I see you, hair tangled by the wind, belting out your favorite lyrics out of the roof of my convertible. And I remember thinking, for the hundredth time that night, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Damnit, Y/N, you’re standing by the mirror every morning when I get ready for my meetings, dainty fingers straightening my tie and planting a kiss on my lips. You got this, lover boy.

You’re there, and then you’re not. You flicker between reality and imagination, I cannot discern whether I’m living in a fever dream or simply hallucinating. You’re slipping through my hands like grains of sand: I’m losing more of you by the second, can’t seem to hold on to you. You’re disappearing, getting further and further away as all I can do is watch helplessly as you fall through my fingers.

Where are you now, Y/N?

I worry about you, I worry whether you’ve eaten well, whether you’ve slept well, whether you’ve had a good day at the office. Have you seen your parents lately? Have you had some time to yourself over the past days, have you overworked yourself as you often tend to do? Are you taking care of yourself?

Is it selfish of me to be wishing for you, thinking of you after all this time? Tell me, Y/N, is it wrong of me to be wanting you despite it having been over for so long now? You’ve probably moved on by now, considering how long it’s already been. Maybe you’ve met someone new, maybe you’re in love with someone else, maybe I’ve already been replaced with another man in your life.

Maybe I treated you wrong, maybe you didn’t feel like I loved you enough, maybe I didn’t make you feel special enough. I wish, Y/N, I wish that I could turn back time for you, I wish I could go back and be better for you, that I could fix all of the mistakes that I’ve made, wipe all of the tears that you might’ve cried for me, swallow up all of the pain that must’ve been plaguing you, to suck up the hurt that you were feeling back then. I wish you could give me all of the pain, I wish that I could’ve carried it all for you, shielded you from it all like how I should’ve done.

But it’s too late now, isn’t it?

You’ve met someone else by now, you’re laughing, smiling, whispering with another, kissing someone else’s lips, in love with your new man. And I’m still here, trying to get over you like the pathetic loser that I am. There are so many regrets, so many things that I wish that I could still tell you, so many errors, mistakes that I made. It’s all my fault. I want nothing more than to be able to get on my knees in front of you and apologize for everything. There are so many more words, so many moments that I want nothing more than to be spending with you.

I’m still in love with you.

I think I always will be, Y/N. I know it’s selfish of me. I really can’t help it. I’m sorry.

You came into my life like a whirlwind, taking all of me along for the ride. And now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do with myself no longer. I’ve been swept away with you and my fate will forever be left in your hands. There’s nothing left for me here, not in my work nor art. All that’s left is you. You are the only thing keeping me going now - I live another day, endure another night hoping for you, waiting for the day that I will finally see you again. I open my eyes for you in the mornings, in hopes of laying them upon your figure once more.

Maybe it’ll all be for nothing, I know. Maybe I’ll never see you again. But there’s nothing left for me, remember? I’m willing to take my chance. For when I finally do see you once more, it will all be worth it.

I miss you, Y/N. I miss you so fucking much. My heart beats for you, my lungs breathe for you. My every cell in my entire being aches so desperately for you, for you and you only. And so I’ll wait for you. I promise. I’ll be here for you, waiting for the day that I get to catch a glimpse of you, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, for when you need even the littlest, tiniest thing. I’m ready to give you the world, baby. I’m ready to right all my wrongs, to treat you like the fucking queen that you are. I’m going to treat you the way that you deserve.

When that time comes, my heart will be happy. When the time comes that I see you again, that I hear your voice again, your laugh again, it’ll be okay. All this pain will fade away to nothing. Don’t worry about me, darling, I’ll always be here, waiting. Waiting for you, until the end.

I promise.

                                                   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

an: i hope you liked it!!!! <3 please please please leave feedback my loves!

[a-pretty-nerd]

Things Get Rough (Roderick Heffley x Reader Smut)

Request: "could u write a smut about sex with rodrick after a fight? plzz 😔 (sorry for my bad english, im from latin america)" ~ Anonymous

A/N: This Will Be My Last Free Fanfic. This was the last thing I am accepting as an unpaid fanfiction writer. Im sorry it took a little while, I've been busy. And honestly I was surprised that I had never done this prompt before??? Thank you for the request 💕

P.s. This is litterally so late I'm ashamed. When I recieved this request and decided to stop taking requests I was at a really dark place and yknow fanfic writing takes a back seat. So again, I apologize to anon and everyone that has supported me.

Warnings: Sex, yelling? Theres an argument.

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How could he? How could be just sit there, twirling his stupid drum sticks as he talked with his stupid friends about something even stupider? At first you thought he was planning something special to ask you. Like chocolates or flowers or a big banner saying something cheesy like: "Rock on to Prom with me?" All the other girls were getting asked!

And your boyfriend, just sat there. Prom was approaching quickly and if he didnt ask you soon, how were you supposed to coordinate your outfits? Did Rodrick even own a tux? You were doubtful. You sat next to him on the bench before the first bell, your blood boiling as the thought consumed you.

Did he even want to go to prom with you? Did he even want you? Did you mean anything to him? Clearly not if he's not going to ask you.

You watched him laugh with his friends before his head swiveled to your brooding gaze. That dumb smile of his still plastered to his face. He starred at you for a second before speaking.

"What?" He asked dumbly.

"Hmph!" You huffed before plucking yourself up from you seat and walking away. Rodrick's smile dropped. He looked at his friends and shrugged.

You tried to avoid him the rest of the day, which was hard because you had social studies together second period, and usually he copied your homework. But not today. Today you sat far, far away from that heartless jerk. He watched you enter with a dumb smile, expecting you to sit next to him as usually. But you turned the other cheek and sat across the room. Rodrick looked confused, he looked at the chair next to him and back at you with a sheepish scowl. That fool.

You hid at lunch so he wouldn't find you, and you decided to walk home that day so you wouldn't have to suffer an awkward ride home from him. You didn't need his charity. As you walked, you heard the faint putter of a certain vehicle. You knew that sound a mile away. You tried to walk faster but it didnt help, soon that stupid spray painted fan was right on your tail.

"Hey..." Rodrick called from the drivers side, "why are you ignoring me?" He called.

"I'm not ignoring you." You spat with your head help high in defiance.

"Yeah you are! You've been ignoring me all day!" His head swayed back and forth from the road to you. You continued to ignore him. "Aw c'mon Y/N! At least let me drive you home!" You didn't speak. "Please, just talk to me! I'll do anything!" He whined like a sad dog. "Did I do something wrong again? Just tell me, I'll fix it!" You stopped and starred at him with rage burning in your eyes.

"If you really cared about me, you'd have already fixed it!" You shouted beforr stomping off again.

"Fixed what!? What did I do!?" Rodrick cried after you with a sad and fustrated huff. He watched you turn the corner to your house disappear inside.

That night, you cried into your pillow as you though about him. You wiped away mascara stained tears as you starred fondly of a picture of the two of you together. That was the night he first ask you out, after his band played a show. Suddenly you heard a tapping at your window.

Rodrick stood there in your backyard, tossing pebbles at your window. By the time you opened it to call down to him, you watched him stumble back in surprise as he tossed down a rock that more than likely shattered the glass. Lucky you.

"What do you want!?" You hissed ar him.

"I'm sorry!" He shouted.

"Shhhhhh sshhut up! Everyones asleep!" You shouted, in a hushed tone.

"I'm sorry! I..I brought you some flowers!" He hushed back, holding up a handful of harshly picked and bruised flowers he definitely got from his mother's garden. You sighed.

"Fine...come up." You walked back to your room and watched Rodrick climb up the tree beside your window and crawl like a turtle into your room with a loud thud. "Do you even know what you're apologizing for?" You scoffed at him.

"For hurting your feelings?" He asked as he stood from his place on the floor.

"No!- well, yes, but do you know how you hurt my feelings?" He took a look pause.

"No." You huffed in disbelief.

"Prom, Rodrick! You never asked me to be your date to prom!" Yknow, that sounded a lot more dramatic and heartwrenching in your head. He starred at you for a moment and then slowly he face scrunched up in confusion.

"What?" He asked, slowly walking towards you. "You're mad at me, because I didn't ask you, my girlfriend, to prom?" It sounded worse when he said it. He turned your head and crossed your arms.

"...yes." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he shook his head.

"But your my girlfriend, so obiviously we're going together!"

"Well how am I supposed to know that, you never brought it up!"

"Neither did you!"

"But you're the one thats supposed to ask me to the prom! You're supposed to prompose!" You shouted.

"Why would I when I thought we were already going together!?"

"Because its what your supposed to do!" You didn't realize how close he was. You didn't realize how much taller he was than you or how his hands reached out and grabbed your face. You didn't have time to move until it was already too late. His lips were on your lips and your hands were in his hair and his hands let go of your face to wrap around you in a passionate embrace.

His chest heaved as he took deep and powerful breaths in between kisses. You shuffled back as you fell on the twin bed behind you. You moaned as his hands reached up your pajamas. His cold fingers ran across your warm flesh and his hims began to buck against yours.

Soon clothes were flying and your heart raced frantically. You craved him, unable to think of anything but him, anything but this. Right here, right now. Horomones raged on as he frantically unbuckled him belt and threw his pants down. His erection sorung free, eager and ready to please you. He slid a condom over his length and without missing a beat, leaned over you for another fevered kiss before entering. You gasped and threw your head back as it began. Your hands clawed at his back as he started to thrust into you. At first it was nice and steady but they got harder and faster as the tention built inside you.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck and let out helpless grunts and moans of your name. His muscles tensed as you felt him get closer and closer to his limit. Just a little more, just a few more sloppy, deep thrusts and you were done for. He reached a hand down to pleasure you further as his angle changed, hitting you perfectly. You came undone and around him. His jaw dropped and he gasped as a few more thrusts pushed him over.

"I-I'm gonna-" he groaned before spilling himself into the condom. The two of you were left panting, sweating messes, as per usual. You cleaned yourselves up and shared a few sweet kisses to calm your nerves before settling into one another's arms.

"So black and red?" You asked eventually, Rodrick still panting.

"Huh?" He huffed.

"Our colors for prom, black and red?"

"Oh...oh yeah that sounds nice."

[sunflowersteves]

𝒇𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒃𝒇 ❅ 𝒃𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒔

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: you needed someone to be your partner to make the holidays with your parents bearable, and bucky was just the man for the job. 

author’s note: ssks im rlly don’t like this v much but i had no idea what else to write for fake dating au, i hope you all like it tho sjsjs

warnings: fluff, a little bit of angst, bad parents

holiday prompts m.list

Your leg bounced up and down, making soft noises against the padding of the passenger seat. Bucky let his eyes off the road for just a second, his eyes trailing up and down your nervous state. His attention goes back to the busy highway before speaking. 

“Hey, you’re going to be fine.”

You roll your eyes, “easy for you to say, you’ve never met my parents.”

He chuckles, the deep and low sound vibrating against his chest. You could’ve sworn your stomach did summer salts, your heart beating faster by the second. Despite being insanely nervous about Bucky meeting your parents and them finding out it is all a ruse, there was a large part of you that was scared beyond belief about him being your pretend partner. 

You had originally asked Sam to be your fake boyfriend instead, but he had to go back home to see his mom, and Bucky immediately offered his services. You knew he didn’t like you in the way you liked him, so the thought of being his girlfriend for a day terrified you. 

And so here you were, legs bouncing up and down, heart palpitating, sweat forming in the passenger seat of Bucky’s car. He looked over at you once again, his ocean eyes meeting yours for just a split second. There was a kind of look on his face that you couldn’t quite comprehend, a storm brewing in his head. 

“Are they really that bad, doll?”

Your heart fluttered at the little nickname, and you shifted in your seat, trying to ignore the way it made you feel. A sigh left your lips as your head turned to stare out the window, eyes following all of the places you would go to as a kid. 

“They had their whole life planned for me and would always tell me that if I didn’t follow their every footstep, I wouldn’t be allowed back home. There was always a joking hint to what they were saying, but I knew there was truth to what they were saying. I don’t even remember the last time they have talked to me without mentioning money, or even an ‘i love you.’”

Bucky’s hands gripped the steering wheel as he thought about the pressures that your family had put you through; all of your insecurities that you laid upon each other during long nights had all come together. 

Before you could say anything more, Bucky pulled up into your parent's driveway, “we’re here.”

He had given your thigh a small squeeze in support before the two of you got out of the car. You held in a deep breath as he softly knocked on the door, and a hand came to wrap itself around your waist. He felt you tense under his touch, and he gave your love handles a little squeeze.

He whispered into your ear, his breath fanning up against it, “we’ll be okay. I’ll be right beside you, okay?” 

You felt yourself slowly nod, and your eyes trialing up to look at him. Your mother opened the door and smiled, immediately ushering the two of you in. You took off your jackets and followed her into the living room where your father sat reading a newspaper. 

“Welcome home.” 

Her eyes snapped over towards Bucky beside you, a smirk rising as she saw the expensive suit. You all tried to spread out in the small space; your body was practically on top of Bucky on the sofa. A certain warmth spread through your body as Bucky took his hand in yours; the pads of his fingers skating onto your hand made you shiver.

“Who’s this?”

The air was thick with tension as the silence rose beneath the walls of the house. There wasn’t a single sense of warmth that you felt from your parents, just a cold welcome home. Every single time you had come home for the holidays, it was always the same.

They would ask you how your job was, and if you were following the path they set for you, they would cook dinner and eat in silence, prompting them to pat you on the back and sending you away again. The Avengers felt more like your family than your own family ever did. 

Your father didn’t even look up from reading when he spoke; you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. Bucky could sense your discomfort and squeezed your hand, his thumb swiping back and forth in support. 

“This is my boyfriend, Bucky.”

You could see from the corner of your eyes that your mother tensed; it was quite visible. Your hand subconsciously squeezed Bucky’s; your eyes danced in between your parents as they shared a look.

“What an odd name.”

He just chuckled beside you, and you were about to open your mouth, but he beat you to it. 

“It’s a nickname, miss. My first name is James.”

She pursed her lips in disapproval still, your eyebrow-raising slightly at her behavior. You haven’t been here for five minutes, and you already wanted to dart out the door. If you were being honest, you would have been perfectly content spending the holidays with just Bucky and Bucky alone. 

“What do you do for a living, Bucky? I noticed your exquisite tailored suit. Maybe a CEO perhaps?”

There was another beat of silence as you wanted to roll your eyes again. You leaned against the coffee table to grab a glass of eggnog, taking a few large sips. This was going to be a long night. 

“I’m a part of the Avengers, I work to protect global stability and peace.”

Your father almost choked on her vodka, the name Bucky Barnes now popped into frame. He knew that name was familiar and he finally understood why. He set his drink down and gently wiped his lips with a napkin. 

“Really? That’s not what the news said, isn’t that right, dear?”

He turned towards your mother, a slight gleam in his eye that was set with a hard look. 

She nodded, “You’ve been on the news for terrorism. That doesn’t sound like global stability to me.”

You felt Bucky go still next to you, his face falling in despair. You felt your blood boil and your heart race against your chest in such ire. But before you could say anything, your mother spoke up again. 

“Sounds like you are nothing but trouble to me. How do we know you’re not here to kill our daughter? You’re a murderer, and yet you think you’re good enough to date my daughter?”

“Enough!” 

Your parents stare at you wide-eyed at your outburst. Your hand that wasn’t intertwined with bucky’s had tightened into a fist. 

“If you had paid attention, mother, you would’ve found out that he was being controlled by Hydra. Bucky is the sweetest—nicest person that I have ever met. He is such a goofball, but he’s the smartest person I know. He’s attentive and sweet; he takes care of me when I’m sick and a coughing mess. He stays up late when I can’t sleep, trying to entertain me,” you pause, your face turning towards his for just a second, his eyes wide and searching your face for any lie. He found none. 

“He’s more family to me than you two will ever be. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be leaving now.”

You don’t waste a single moment before dragging Bucky out of there and trying to gather your things as quickly as possible. Before getting into the car, you stop him by gripping his wrist. Your eyes well with tears as you thought about what your parents had said to him. 

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I should’ve never brought—”

Your eyes widened in surprise as you felt a pair of soft lips on yours, large hands cupping the apples of your cheeks. Your lips melded with his, and you started to relax, letting out a whine at the fiery sensation. Your hands move down his chest, nails dragging against the coarse material of his dress suit. His tongue is devouring your mouth, his heart pounding against yours in a loving embrace. 

“I’m never letting you go, sugar.”

marvel: @harrysthiccthighss @fandomsandxfiles @rebekahdawkins @purselover23

bucky: @harrysthiccthighss @rebekahdawkins @marvelous-capsicle @purselover23

permanent: @captainchrisstan @angstysebfan @teenagereadersciencenerd @rebekahdawkins @hailmary-yramliah​ @stardust-galaxies @wiccanmetallicrose @keithseabrook27

[oikawaplssteponme]

“i’m jealous of the rain”

“i like the rain”

•

pairing: Tsukishima Kei x reader

warnings: swearing, previous breakup

genre: angst

a/n: enjoy the angst, im not sorry for the pain oops. this is kinda a part 2 to a previous one shot that i write for Tsuki but you don’t really have to read it to understand this one, though it might help. i never write straight up angst so hopefully this isn’t too bad. ily tsuki💕 enjoy xx

•

Tsukishima Kei would never admit it, but he lost the best thing he ever had. If you told him you wanted to get back together, he wouldn’t hesitate another second. If you told him that it was just one big mistake, he would tell you it’s okay. If you told him you forgive him, he would be complete again. He gives himself a hard time now, just as you do. Tsukishima Kei will never love anyone the way he loved you. Again, something he would never admit.

“Rain is a beautiful thing, Kei. Lay down and enjoy it with me.”

Those words seemed to play in Tsukishima Kei’s mind on repeat. The sweet sound of your voice was all that he thought about.

“If you like the rain, then I like the rain.”

The rain. The rain was something that Kei never liked until you. He found it a pain, while you found it beautiful. The rain was something that brought a blissful smile to your face. Kei would do anything to be able to see that smile again, or be the reason for it. The rain even put a smile on his face. It never used to be like that before.

Now, whenever it rained, Tsukishima would hide away. Enclose himself in his room, turn off all the lights, shut all the windows, and lay down on his cold bed. He would put on his headphones, volume at 100%, to cancel out any sound of the pitter patter that surrounded him.

He would see the rain and think of you. He would see the rain and remember the night you two confessed. He would remember the way you kissed and how he would do anything to have that back.

Tsukishima Kei was jealous of the rain.

~

A gloomy day loomed over Tsuki. Gray skies, clouds rolling in. Things didn’t look good. He was just about to leave practice when someone called after him in the gym.

“Tsuki, be careful. I think there is gonna be a rainstorm pretty soon,” said his best friend and captain, Yamaguchi Tadashi. Tsuki let out a sigh and nodded. He didn’t like the rain.

Just as Tsukishima was leaving the gym, carefully crafted rain droplets began to fall. He pulled out his umbrella, which he bought after your breakup, and opened it up. He wouldn’t allow for a single drop to touch him. Tsukishima walked home, as he always did.

In order to get to Tsuki’s house, he has to pass yours.

There you laid. On your drive way. No jacket, no umbrella. Just you, your drenched clothing, and the rain. You laid with your eyes clothes, soaking up the essence of the storm.

When Tsuki spotted you, he froze. He knew that if you stayed out any longer, you’d get sick. But he also knew that you wouldn’t care. He stood in front of you, silently. He watched as the water raced down your skin, exploring every inch of you. He watched as the rain hugged you, held you, loved you.

Tsukishima Kei was jealous of the rain.

“You’re gonna get hypothermia if you stay out here any longer.”

You instantly recognized the voice that spoke to you. Before when Tsukishima told you this, it would have a playful undertone to it. Now, his voice was cold.

“That’s the plan.”

Kei let out a frustrated sigh. He moved closer to you, sharing his umbrella with you.

“You’re blocking my rain Kei.”

“Come on Y/N. Get up and go inside.”

“Unfortunately you don’t have that authority over me anymore.”

You were right. He doesn’t. Which upset Kei even more.

“Sorry for caring then.” He began to walk away. You stood up from the ground, clenching your fists.

“Care? Now you want to care about me? It’s a bit late for that!”

Tsukishima whipped his head around as faced you.

“I’ve always cared about you damn it! It’s just hard to when you act like a fucking idiot all the time!”

Your own tears began to stream down your face now. Kei used all his strength to hold his back as he looked at you.

You and Tsukishima had only been broken up for a few months. Your wounds still raw, feeling as though they would never heal. The breakup was messy. No, no one cheated. No one lost feelings. No one fell for someone else. Things just simply didn’t work out the way you wanted them to. Which honestly seemed like the worst option of all.

“I need you to stop caring about me then.”

Kei’s eyes widened. He threw his umbrella onto the ground, storming over to you. Now he stood maybe a couple inches from you.

“I can’t.”

With quivering lips and puffy eyes you looked up a Kei.

“I just need you to try.”

Tsukishima was drenched just as you. His glasses foggy. His hair symbolic of a wet mop. This was the first time in months that Tsukishima Kei had felt the rain on his skin.

“No.”

“Tsuki please-”

“I’m jealous of the rain!”

You looked at Tsuki, shaking your head.

“Kei-”

“I’m jealous that I can’t give you everything it gives you! I’m jealous that I can’t be enough for you! I’m jealous that this stupid rain gets to touch you and be with you more than I ever will!”

“Kei you’re not the rain...”

“That’s exactly the problem, isn’t it? If I was, I would get to hold you, ease your pain, put a smile on your face, make you laugh, keep you close! But I am not the damn rain Y/N!”

You crashed down to your knees, sobbing. Tsukishima followed, wrapping his arms around you.

“P-Please Y/N. Please let me be your rain again...”

The two of you were shaking. A mixture of the cold and the emotions you just shared took over your bodies. You loved Tsukishima Kei so much. So the next words you said hurt even more.

“I’m sorry. Y-You can’t.”

You broke away from Tsuki’s embrace and rushed inside.

“Wait please-!”

The rain began to pour onto Kei a little harder. His body feeling a little heavier. His heart hurting a little worse.

Tsukishima Kei stood up, wiped his face, picked up his umbrella, and finished his walk home.

•

[general taglist (form in masterlist) : @lealofsblog @iwaisa @roesaurus @evivn1 @astrooliver @tetsoleil @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @complimentaryhugsgirl ]

[sereineity]

how many more sleepless nights?

genre: nonidol!au, ANGST, slight fluff

summary: a year is a long time, isn’t it? you’ve spent yours stuck in an eternal, monochrome winter. a surprise encounter derails all of your plans: feelings fade… or do they, really?

pairing: taehyung x reader

word count: 5.4k

warnings: swearing, terrible terrible angst (im sorry!), heartbreak, implied smut, angsty flashbacks :(

a/n: hi everyone! this is my very first fic on tumblr and i really hope you enjoy! please listen to spring day and scenery to really get into the feels - i hope you lose yourself in this little slice of a seoul winter :’) also i do have a storyline planned if you enjoy this little piece and could potentially even make this a series aah! please leave comments and constructive criticism - i’d love to grow as a writer! (@chateautae i finally did it!!!!!!)

[    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]

09:17am, december 17, 2020

It’s been a year since you last saw him. A year of emptiness, hollowness, blankness. A year since you turned your back, leaving without a goodbye. It’s been a year since you’ve walked out his front door, the same one that you’d find yourself visiting and revisiting when you knew he wasn’t home.

It’s been a year since you last felt some semblance of happiness, a year since you’ve let out a genuine laugh, smiled from cheek-to-cheek. It’s been a year devoid of warmth: you shivered under the embrace of the summer sun, no longer noticed the blooming flowers that you had once loved so much. The world lost all its color. Fading into a bleak grayscale so far away, unreachable. No longer did you walk with a spring in your step, no longer did your eyes glimmer with galaxies that you’d once built with him. You were empty, a ship lost in the depths of the dark oceans. Floating, barely surviving, with no set destination. All you saw were never-ending, infinite oceans in all directions. No escape, no lighthouse. Just you. Alone. Pointless.

Your heart aches for him, the echo of a honeyed baritone, the ghost of his warm, muscular arms wrapped around your shoulders.

It’s for the best, you had thought. It’s for the best.

You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts out of your mind. There was too much, too many feelings, pent-up emotions. You weren’t a woman of emotions, never were, swore to never be, until you had met him. And he had changed everything.

Stop. This is getting ridiculous.

You needed to get on with your life, you think. There are too many things to think about, so many better thoughts requiring your attention. What were you doing, wasting your energy on him? It was time, you had decided, to end things once and for all.

The ticket machine snaps you out of your reverie, demanding it get paid. How much did the trip cost? You’ve forced yourself to forget, holed up all the memories too far into the shadows of your mind in your sheer desperation to evade the pain. You slot in a W10,000 bill, way too much, but better than having to remember. The machine happily eats up the cash, returning your card and sending you on your way.

You navigate the platforms, seeing the brightly-lit signs: Incheon line, Suin line, Bundang line. Then you see it, Platform 6, Gyeongwon line. South-bound to Soyosan, stopping at Iryeong. Your heart thumps, stomach twists, and you feel like throwing up. How many times had you once ascended these very steps with him, hand-in-hand, smiling to one another? How many times had you raced up these stairs, trying to get to the platform first? It’s too much, and you want to run. Run away from this place, from the thoughts and feelings.

No. You need this.

The winter air roughly brushes against your cheeks, hurrying you along.

What are you so afraid of?

Everything, you think. Everything. You’ve bound your heart in chains and locks, plastered it with thousands of bandages, one on top of the other. You’ve holed it away, willed it out of existence. You’re afraid of the memories, the emotions. You’re afraid of yourself.

Go. Just go. Get it over with.

You force your feet to move, one after another. You don’t think, you just move. Move onto the platform, move onto the train. You don’t realize that you’ve boarded the machine until you hear an all-too-familiar voice on the loudspeaker.

“This is the Special Rapid Train, on the Gyeongwon line, headed for Sosoyan. We will be stopping at Seokgye, Wolgye, Dobong and Iryeong. Please stay clear of the sliding doors!”

You vaguely see the blinking of lights and hear the shutting of the doors. The train picks up speed, clicking against the railroads. You are blank, a passenger on an endless journey. You sway when the train sways, stop when it stops. You don’t know how many stops have passed, having lost yourself in the familiar nothingness that had hollowed you out for the past year, until the speakers announce something about the next station being Dobong. You’re near, you realize. Too near.

Too soon does the train halt, birthing out and collecting new passengers as seats empty and taken once more in a matter of seconds. You watch this interchange with a bitter smile: how quickly he must have replaced you after you’d left, how he must’ve taken in another in your place.

Stop it.

Too engrossed in your thoughts, you don’t notice the closing of the doors and the blinking of the lights until you hear the loud system once more as the train starts to accelerate.

“Iryeong, Iryeong. Our next stop is Iryeong, please get off on the right side of the train.”

You are left suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, watching as snow paints the ground white. The houses blur into trees and back into villages as you stare out the window, and you start to remember. You remember your hands intertwined, dancing in the snow, the click of a camera as the melodies of your laughs twirling in the air. You remember the snugness of his embrace, his earthy cologne, his smile, his lips pressed against yours…

Stop.

You tear your gaze away from the glass, staring down at your gloved hands fiddling in your lap. It’s been a year. It’s laughable how much and how little has changed. You’re different, yes, but yet so painfully similar to the girl who ran away. It’s funny how much of a difference, or lack thereof, a year can make, you think. It’s certainly been hard on you, and you find yourself wondering about him, about how maybe the year has changed him, how he’s doing, if he’s eating well, if…

Stop.

You’re hopeless, aren’t you?

You sigh and shut your eyes. You’re going crazy. Or maybe you’ve always been crazy. Your thoughts are feverish, a maelstrom in your mind. Involuntarily, you notice your feet rapidly tapping the metal bar to your side, vibrating against the pole. You feel the ghost of a touch on your thigh, hear the empty shell of his words, breathe, Y/N, breathe. What’s got you all worked up? And for a moment, just a moment, you feel his presence to your side, capture the warmth radiating off of his figure, and smile. Because it’s all okay when he’s here.

But he’s not.

You decide to focus on the sound of the railroads, staring down at the speckled floor of the train as the carriage undulates gently, side to side. You ride along, the train’s movements easing your own and you begin to lose yourself once again in the clacks of the rails, mind going blank, until you start to notice the slowing of the sounds. The train’s dance comes to a slow, inviting people to start getting up and shuffle towards the doors. Your heart sinks to your stomach. Not yet, not yet. It can’t be. It’s too soon.

The loudspeaker crackles to life, confirming your worst fears. “Arriving at Iryeong, please stay clear of the doors and exit on the right side of the train.”

Your legs move on their own accord, pulling you to a standing position as you grip the metal post with your life. The train continues to slow, eventually, painstakingly coming to a halt. You wish it never will, that it will continue on with its journey ahead. But it’s too late. The doors slide open, the sounds of the outside world whistle for you, calling you, urging you out of the comfort of the train. You don’t dare move, standing still as passengers trickle out, as the flashing lights start to appear, as the minute at the station starts to come to an end. The doors are closing in five. Four.

You twitch.

Three. Two.

“Wait!”

You rush out the doors, barely escaping the iron clasp of the metals that would’ve devoured you had you been a second too late. Behind you, the steel hisses as the vehicle exits the station, leaving you alone. So utterly alone.

You’re blessed with a moment of solitude, feeling nothing but the cold air chilling your face, until you realize where you are and why you’re here.

The bliss of being alone rapidly evaporates, and you’re hit with a speeding truck. The memories flood in; you’re winded, gasping for breath as you’re stormed with images, short clips of him, you, the pair of you. His smile, his laugh, his cheeks, eyes, nose. His breath tickling yours before he leans in for a kiss, his gentle, large hands cupping your face as you close your eyes…

Stop. Get a fucking grip, will you?

You force the color out of your mind as you make your way around the platform, empty now that everyone has gone. Your eyes graze against the pathetic, run-down station: the signs are only partially lit, the electricity having worn out. Your fingers run against the peeling, dirtied paint of the walls, dust bunnies catching onto your gloves. You scoff. This is pathetic. The floor is littered with plastics and old soda bottles, as if nobody’s been here to clean in too long. Graffiti smiles sadly back at you as you scan the fading walls, losing their life by the second. The bricks have faded into a musty brown, drab and uninteresting. Everything is so run down, so tired. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way to the minimart to your right, wanting a beverage to help warm your insides up.

The doors slide open with a gentle clink, altering the store of your presence. The cashier at the counter looks up at you through half-lidded eyes, barely acknowledging you, before returning to the drama playing on his cracked phone. The shelves are well-stocked, however, in stark contrast to the beaten-down appearance of this whole ordeal. You glide along the aisles, and everything is the same. Your favorite tea is still on the same shelf as it was all those months ago, his favorite gimbap in the bottom left corner of the chiller. Beef and sesame, he’d get, while you’d get a tuna for yourself, clinking your drinks and hearing the hiss of his cola opening, laughing as you made a mess of yourselves, two young fools madly in love. You’d talk, drink, eat for hours, whispering, dreaming and wishing, wondering what was going to come in the future, what you’d name your first puppy, whether you wanted a girl or a boy for your first child. Never would you have ever imagined that it would all end this way.

Stop it.

You grab your bottle of tea violently, almost knocking it over in your hurry to leave. You could no longer stay, not here, suffocating in your memories of him. You erased the gimbap out of your vision, ignoring it as you made your way to the counter, paying for your drink as the half-hearted employee handed you with your change. You mutter a thank you, unsure if he had even heard, and mindlessly make your way out of the store, too focused on keeping someone out of your head. You nearly bang into the glass doors in your haste, looking down and walking as fast as you can. Until your heart stops, that is.

You don’t dare look up, not now. The whole world slows to a stand-still, your gaze sharpening on nothing. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest, your lungs stop working. Electricity charges through the air and you’re left reeling, not knowing what to do.

Slowly, painfully, your neck raises, muscles straining with all their might. You already know what you’re going to see, who you’re going to see, but the sight of him still shocks you all the same. You nearly spill your drink all over yourself when you finally look up, and your brain goes into overdrive. You’re sure that your mouth is hanging open, jaw slack, but you can’t do anything about it. Your knees buckle, you can’t breathe, suffocating, wanting the ground to swallow you up at this very moment. You want to fall, tumble into an eternal tunnel. You are dizzy, light-headed, going crazy, you swear. You’re going crazy, aren’t you? This can’t be real, can it?

You can’t believe it. You’re drowning, drowning in those chocolate eyes, sinking into his pupils, losing yourself in his gorgeous features. You drink him all in, his own face mirroring yours, in no doubt absolute shock or maybe even despair, his deadly stare making your breath hitch as it once did so long ago. He’d never lost his power over you, after all. The world is suspended around you, all operations ceased as you both continue to stare into each other’s eyes, the tension so palpable that it threatens to devour you whole. Your larynx seems to be glued shut, your tongue a stone in your mouth. There are no words, no way to express this feeling that washes over you upon seeing him again.

“Y/N…”

His voice. Your ears ring with his deep baritone, honey to your ears. You can’t help it: you quite literally swoon, despite the circumstances. His voice: it ignites a fire within you, warm tendrils of heat rising up from your stomach. Vibrations send throughout your core, making you lightheaded and sure that you’re about to fall. You remember his timber next to you in the dead of light, comforting you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, it’s okay, it’s okay, breathe, it’s okay, you’re here with me.

You hug your arms around yourself, trying to keep it all in, retain the strange feeling that was now foreign to you after months of cold. It’s been too long, after all - you’ve gone too long deprived of this humanness, comfort that radiated off of him.

Things are different now, Y/N.

Yes, they are. Your mind goes berserk once more, considering all of the scenarios. Why is he here? He probably just needs to go to the minimart - no, why would he come all this way, he lives pretty far as well, or maybe he’s waiting on a friend, no, maybe he’s brought a new girlfriend, maybe she’s with him right now waiting to jump out of the shadows. Maybe they’re both exchanging looks right now when I’m not looking, laughing, taunting me, this girl from the past who doesn’t deserve to be here, maybe they all think I’m a joke now, what am I doing, why, why, why?

You’re so lost in your thoughts that when Taehyung addresses you once more, you’re violently jolted out of your mind and nearly fall backwards, body forgetting everything but the sound of his voice.

“Y/N…” he says again, forcing you to look up at him. Your name splinters through the air from his lips, cutting through the frost and straight into your chest; you notice now that his voice seems tired, that he seems tired.

You finally regain some semblance of control over your frozen tongue, lips moving in an attempt to emit a sound, any sound. Your lips wrap around the sole syllable that comes to you like muscle memory, the only one that you manage to choke out.

“T-Tae…”

Your voice cracks, unable to continue. The prolonged eye-contact has got you weak, his pupils boring into your soul. You look into his eyes, reciprocating, and you notice that maybe they’ve lost their golden sheen, that they no longer twinkle with constellations of stars. And it’s then that you realize: maybe the year has taken a toll on him too.

Look at what you’ve done to him.

“T-Tae, I, I, I…” you sputter out, guilt flooding your system like a drug. There was nothing you could say, nothing you could tell him to cheat yourself out of the situation or paint yourself in a better light like you’re so used to doing. You’re not used to feeling this powerless, this weak. Taehyung was the only one who saw through the facade, the only one who allowed you to feel vulnerable. You couldn’t lie to him, you knew you couldn’t; there was no wheedling, no bullshitting, no lying yourself out of any sticky situation, which had caused you this whole trouble in the first place. You ran because you were too much of a coward to talk to him, to confide in him. And look where that’s gotten you.

“Why are you here?” he asks, burying his head in his hands. “Y/N, why are you here?”

Why am I here? You don’t really know as well, there’s nothing that you can say to him. Why am I here? To get over him? How are you even going to tell him? He has to think that you’re over him, that it’s done. Stop torturing yourself, and stop dragging him through this mess of your life. Tell him that it’s done.

“I… I came because…”

Y/N, say something?

“I came because I… I was looking for you.”

What the fuck?

His head snaps up, his piercing stare catching your gaze once again. “You were looking for me?”

You feel your heart stop.

“Umm… well, I mean, no, but, no, well actually if I think about it now, yeah, yeah I was looking for you,” you stammer, unable to produce a single cohesive line of thought. “I was looking for you because I wanted to tell you that it’s over.”

Your own words are like a dagger twisting into your own heart and vaguely hear a choked sound breaking the awful, awful silence. Until you realize that it’s come from your own mouth, a sob that you hadn’t even realized that you were holding in.

A moment of charged silence goes by, yet louder than any noise that either of you could’ve let out. Never in your life has silence felt so utterly deafening, and you wish to cover your ears and scream it all out.

“You’re telling me this now?” Taehyung manages, features distorted in pain. “You’re telling me this now, a whole fucking year after you walk out the door without a single word to me?”

You look down at the ground, hating, blaming your traitorous mouth for saying something that you hadn’t fully thought through.

No, Y/N. You have to stop bringing everyone down.

You’ve lost all rational thought when you say, “yes, Taehyung. Yes. I had nothing to say to you then and nothing to say to you now. It’s done and it’s over.”

You couldn’t even say sorry?

The frosty wind brushes over the pair of you, causing you to shiver in your boots. You want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear, pretend that this never happened, that this was all a bad dream.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a security guard watching the whole exchanged with piqued interest. It’s none of your fucking business, you want to scream. It’s none of your fucking business. And yet you’re so humiliated, embarrassed at this whole mess that you’ve made of not only yourself but the situation in its entirety that you cannot muster up any words to merely defend yourself. You want to cry, sob, yell, scream.

“Fine, Y/N, it’s okay. You know what? It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation, you don’t owe me anything, not an apology, not a reason, not your love. It’s okay. It’s fine. Maybe you never loved me, saw me in the same way. Maybe I just assumed, maybe it was wrong of me to assume. Maybe I was too optimistic, too in love with you that I had forced myself to believe the story that I had made up in my head, that you were in love with me too. Maybe I had wanted it, wanted you so bad that I had made myself believe it. Made myself believe that you were in love with me.”

Your heart instinctually reaches out to him, drumming feverishly against your fragile ribcage. No, you want to scream. No, Taehyung, you couldn’t be more fucking wrong. He doesn’t know the way your heart beats for him in the dead of night, how the mere thought of him sends shivers down your spine, how every cell in your body, every thread of your being aches, yearns for his presence with every hour, every minute, every second.

You feel your heart breaking, splintering into thousands, millions of tiny little fragments raining down like shards of glass. It hurts, it hurts like hell.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t force yourself into anything. There’s no need to anymore. There’s no more need to lie, no more need to pretend that you’re happy.”

“Thank you for telling me the truth.”

It’s not the truth, you want to cry. It’s not. It’s the farthest from it. But you return his look, tight-lipped. You nod, despite the swell of emotions that are threatening to cut you in half at this very moment.

“You’re welcome.”

He reciprocates your nod and slowly, painfully, tears his eyes from yours. He stands up, gingerly, as if hesitating, and you want to tell him to stop, to sit back down, that you’re lying to him, that you want him, that you want him more than anything in this world. But you don’t, and he continues onto his feet, sparing you one last gaze.

“At least I get to say goodbye,” he says, wistfully. “At least I now have the chance to say goodbye.”

You’re sure that tears are streaming down your face at this point, little trails of ice making their way down your blushed cheeks. Your lips are tight, and you cannot, for the life of you, return his look.

Before you can fully comprehend what’s happening, you know he’s here, the familiar hold of his arms, your face finding itself nestled on the same spot on his chest, right above his heart. You feel it beat, gently, slowly, under your ear, a comforting rhythm that you’ve too often fallen asleep to, whispered to. Your arms instinctually wrap around his waist, and his head settles on the crook of your neck, the curve of his nose gently kissing your delicate skin. His warmth radiates from under his coat, and you soak it all in, collecting as much as you can. You are two puzzle pieces, a perfect fit, and you will this moment into eternity, searing it into your memory, wishing for the world to stop, stop right now and leave you in this moment forever. You’ve been lost, wandering, and have finally come home.  

But forever doesn’t exist.

You’re struck with a blast of cold at his loss, feeling horribly empty. He steps away from you, and you’re almost certain that you see moisture in his eyes, tears threatening to break free. Every fiber of your being yearns for him, you want to reach out to him, extend the hug, shower him in kisses, make up and forget that this all even happened, but you’re too prideful. You can’t let yourself do this.

“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you for everything.”

And just like that, he’s gone.

                                             [    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]

11:42am, March 12 2021

[taehyung]

I miss you.

I miss you as the seasons come and go, I miss you as I watch the world going to shit, losing all hope. I miss you when the wind blows, taking me along like a pointless man, destined for nowhere. I’ll miss you eternally; I’ll miss you when all the ice melts into the ocean, I’ll miss you when everything’s finally disappeared and there’s utter nothing left for me.

I miss you in the brightest mornings and the darkest nights, when the sun comes out to play and the rain starts pelting down like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll miss you in the loneliest winters and the blooming springs.

Everything reminds me of you. I am stuck in this eternal frost without you here; your loss has trapped me into this winter forever. I am slowly losing feel of my limbs as they succumb to the cold around me - everything has frozen into place, trapping me into the confines of this perpetual season. The world is closing in, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. No longer do I have you to lead me out of this snow, no longer do I have you to hold my hand and bring me warmth through it all.

Why did you have to go?

Baby, did you know how much pain I’d be in when you’d left? Did you know how much it would hurt, how you’ve trapped me into this never-ending arctic, leaving me behind to freeze?

Did you know when you chose to go?

You’ve left me in ruins, my love. I can’t continue without you. I’m struggling to breathe, suffocating, as the world collapses inwards, threatening to bury me alive. I wait for you everyday, through all of the grief, the pain. I still wait for the day that you come back, that I get to see your face again.

Or maybe I’m a dumbass. I don’t know. Have you changed? Or is it I who has? Or perhaps, us both? I’m still a lovesick fool for you, Y/N, that I can tell you for sure. I can’t stop thinking of you, as the days pass, sun and moon taking their turns in the sky. I’m left, suffering in this darkness, bleakness without you here. I wonder if you’ll still be there at the end, when all ceases to exist. I wonder if I’ll see you again; how much more do I have to wait? How many more sleepless nights will have to pass before I can lay my eyes upon you again? How many days, months, years do I have to hold back before I get to feel you, touch you, kiss you, one more time?

Or maybe I’m being optimistic. You know what, Y/N, I’ll never see you again, maybe you’re better off without me. Maybe it’s all for the best, maybe it’s time for me to move on, maybe it’s time for you to move on. Maybe it really was not meant to be, maybe you really weren’t the one for me.

Then why can’t I get you out of my head?

Y/N, I wish I could just forget you. I wish you never existed, I wish I had never gotten to know you. Then it would be so much easier for me. I wish that you had ignored me, that you had turned me down when you had the chance. It would’ve been the most pain that I’d feel at the time, but believe me, it’s nothing compared to this.

Now I can’t get rid of you, no matter how hard I try. You’re there, you’re there when I lie down and close my eyes for the night, you’re there at work, hiding behind my papers and my laptop, waiting to take me out to lunch. You’re everywhere, baby, you’re in the car, riding shotgun and racing to connect to Bluetooth first, singing at the top of your lungs as we speed down the highway like the reckless teenagers that we were. I see you, hair tangled by the wind, belting out your favorite lyrics out of the roof of my convertible. And I remember thinking, for the hundredth time that night, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Damnit, Y/N, you’re standing by the mirror every morning when I get ready for my meetings, dainty fingers straightening my tie and planting a kiss on my lips. You got this, lover boy.

You’re there, and then you’re not. You flicker between reality and imagination, I cannot discern whether I’m living in a fever dream or simply hallucinating. You’re slipping through my hands like grains of sand: I’m losing more of you by the second, can’t seem to hold on to you. You’re disappearing, getting further and further away as all I can do is watch helplessly as you fall through my fingers.

Where are you now, Y/N?

I worry about you, I worry whether you’ve eaten well, whether you’ve slept well, whether you’ve had a good day at the office. Have you seen your parents lately? Have you had some time to yourself over the past days, have you overworked yourself as you often tend to do? Are you taking care of yourself?

Is it selfish of me to be wishing for you, thinking of you after all this time? Tell me, Y/N, is it wrong of me to be wanting you despite it having been over for so long now? You’ve probably moved on by now, considering how long it’s already been. Maybe you’ve met someone new, maybe you’re in love with someone else, maybe I’ve already been replaced with another man in your life.

Maybe I treated you wrong, maybe you didn’t feel like I loved you enough, maybe I didn’t make you feel special enough. I wish, Y/N, I wish that I could turn back time for you, I wish I could go back and be better for you, that I could fix all of the mistakes that I’ve made, wipe all of the tears that you might’ve cried for me, swallow up all of the pain that must’ve been plaguing you, to suck up the hurt that you were feeling back then. I wish you could give me all of the pain, I wish that I could’ve carried it all for you, shielded you from it all like how I should’ve done.

But it’s too late now, isn’t it?

You’ve met someone else by now, you’re laughing, smiling, whispering with another, kissing someone else’s lips, in love with your new man. And I’m still here, trying to get over you like the pathetic loser that I am. There are so many regrets, so many things that I wish that I could still tell you, so many errors, mistakes that I made. It’s all my fault. I want nothing more than to be able to get on my knees in front of you and apologize for everything. There are so many more words, so many moments that I want nothing more than to be spending with you.

I’m still in love with you.

I think I always will be, Y/N. I know it’s selfish of me. I really can’t help it. I’m sorry.

You came into my life like a whirlwind, taking all of me along for the ride. And now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do with myself no longer. I’ve been swept away with you and my fate will forever be left in your hands. There’s nothing left for me here, not in my work nor art. All that’s left is you. You are the only thing keeping me going now - I live another day, endure another night hoping for you, waiting for the day that I will finally see you again. I open my eyes for you in the mornings, in hopes of laying them upon your figure once more.

Maybe it’ll all be for nothing, I know. Maybe I’ll never see you again. But there’s nothing left for me, remember? I’m willing to take my chance. For when I finally do see you once more, it will all be worth it.

I miss you, Y/N. I miss you so fucking much. My heart beats for you, my lungs breathe for you. My every cell in my entire being aches so desperately for you, for you and you only. And so I’ll wait for you. I promise. I’ll be here for you, waiting for the day that I get to catch a glimpse of you, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, for when you need even the littlest, tiniest thing. I’m ready to give you the world, baby. I’m ready to right all my wrongs, to treat you like the fucking queen that you are. I’m going to treat you the way that you deserve.

When that time comes, my heart will be happy. When the time comes that I see you again, that I hear your voice again, your laugh again, it’ll be okay. All this pain will fade away to nothing. Don’t worry about me, darling, I’ll always be here, waiting. Waiting for you, until the end.

I promise.

                                                    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

an: i hope you liked it!!!! <3 please please please leave feedback my loves!

[eivorsjawline]

This story takes place in modern times, starring you. By a simple mistake, you venture into a land unknown and a time before your own. Though frightened, a certain tall husky blonde comforts you through the storm raging inside your body. Once you feel more grounded, the bed you seem to be sharing with her becomes more comfortable and you drift off.

Chapter 1: Wolf-Kissed

Readers POV

I remember when i first peered into Norse mythology and the immediate connection i felt with it. Part of me felt like I was lost in time. I couldn’t survive a day the way people once did yet the thought always intrigued me. It intrigued me so much I even had a bracelet engraved with my favorite Norse goddess, “Freyja” made for me. It was made of leather, just covering my wrist and the material the engrave was on made of Jade.

It was all for fun when i thought out the plans to travel here so far away from home. I had seen many things and been to many places, but there was nothing quite like Stonehenge.

Something attracted me to the stones and the closer I stepped to them, a feeling of deep desire surged through my body, as if I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time. Finally, I passed through the stones and looked as they hovered over me.

Suddenly, time stopped. Everything felt different but everything looked the same. The last thing I remember is passing out and the world as i knew it went blank.

The only world i've known, and the world i'm not sure if i'll ever get to see again.

Hardly able to open my eyes, I was greeted by a sudden warmth. Fur linings on an unfamiliar bed, and the subtle crackling sound of a fire pit nearby; a warm light fogging over my cloudy eyes as I slowly began to open them.

“You’re finally awake.” A husky woman’s voice said and my eyes were suddenly wide open.

To my surprise I saw a broad woman with a blonde medium length braid hovering over her shoulder, her cheeks flushed, dressed in a fur shoulder drape with long layers underneath. She looked as if she were ready for war. I could make out a large scar across her left check. Sitting down in a chair next to my bed some distance away, her piercing blue eyes looked at me almost as if concerned.

I sat up quickly in bed, pulling the bedding to my shoulders.

“Where am I? Who are you?” I asked with hesitance, intimidated by the change of scenery and the large woman sitting in front of me.

“I should be asking who you are! I found you just outside of my camp passed out and dressed in strange clothing.”

A sudden rush of color came across my face. I remembered the modern gray shirt and blue jeans I was wearing when I made the transition. Did I really travel back in time? Could this all be just a dream? Then, I realized the clothes I once wore were replaced by a long sleeved tan tunic.

“Then... how am i wearing this?” I said.

The woman chuckled at me.

“When I found you, you were filthy from getting soaked in the rain. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable but, it would feel wrong if i just left you like that.”

Eivors POV:

Who is this woman? She speaks in a strange dialect, nothing like the saxons and must come from a strange land. The only thing that sticks out to me is the engraving on her bracelet. The same engraving Valka prophesied to me before. If she comes from far away, why would she have one of our goddesses names on her bracelet? The bracelet is the main reason I helped her in the first place.

“A far away stranger will come to you with a symbol of love, for you are bound by souls only separated by time.”

I remember when Valka asked me to stop by because she had something important she wanted to talk to me about. I tried to never think about love too much, and to especially never dwell on it. What could have been or what couldn't. I had my fair share of love misfortunes. With a lifestyle like mine, there's no time to focus on things like that. Right?

Poor thing, she looks terrified. There is something about her that's so different from anyone I have ever met. Finding her in such a vulnerable state isn't the only thing that intrigues me about this mysterious girl. It's not everyday you can lay your eyes on someone so attractive. Even her skin shines differently than anyone I have ever laid eyes on.

My mind wanders back to when i was changing her clothes, having to untie and undo odd buttons. The way her skin had formed goosebumps and the hairs on her arms stood up from the cold, having to refrain myself from looking too hard at certain places on her body.

When I brought her in, Randvi didn't understand exactly why I would help a complete stranger. Although she questioned it and very clearly didn't agree with me, at the end of the day it's my decision to make as Jarl. I know Randvi still struggles with her feelings for me and is just cautious with who I bring into the settlement.

“Thank you… thank you for helping me and bringing me in. Im so confused and i'm not too sure where i am.” The strange girl says to me, looking like she wants to cry but is trying to stay strong.

Snapping back to reality, the realization hits me that she truly has no idea where she is or what happened to her.

“What's your name? Where are you from? You must remember something from before.” I pry at her.

Readers POV

“My name is [y/n], I could never forget that. I can't remember where I came from or how I ended up here but maybe, with some time I can figure it out.”

I was lying through my teeth. But, I knew I couldn't just tell her the truth. No one would believe me if I told them. If this was gonna be my home for a while, I needed to at least give the impression that I was sane.

Her eyes kept lingering on my bracelet. Then, I realized where I was and how far back I had gone. Everything was beginning to make sense. I didn't know how to explain it, but i had to come up with something quick.

“I see you keep looking at my bracelet… it was given to me. It's a gift.” I said, shifting my eyes to the other side of the room.

“Fair enough,” the blonde peered at me up and down.

“I think you need more rest. Something will come to you when you wake up. You have some explaining to do, it seems.”

She stood up and blew out a few candles surrounding the bed. Her feet shuffled across the wood floor to the other side of me. Letting out a big yawn, she sat on the bed beside me facing the wall and tossed some of her armor and weaponry on the ground. Finally, she turned around to explain herself.

“There were no extra beds so, I hope temporarily sharing my bed won't be too bad. I can arrange a room for you eventually. This all happened at the very last minute.”

I could tell she wasn't trying to make me uncomfortable. As bad as the situation was, it could have been a lot worse if she had not found me. I could tell she knew that as well.

“I never got your name…” I said wearily.

She stretched her legs out on the bed and turned to face towards me, head resting on her hand and the other pulling the fur covers over herself.

“My name is Eivor, of the Raven Clan.” She said with another yawn.

I watched as she rested her head on the feather pillows, not wasting any time to fall asleep. I listened as her breaths became longer and slower. For such an intimidating woman she looked so peaceful when sleeping.

My mind began to race, why would she help me? Could I ever be accepted here? Knowing I had a sleepless night ahead of me, I turned over and tried to doze off anyway. I had never felt so alone and lost before. A tear escaped my eye and I quickly threw my hand over my mouth to cover any noise, not wanting to disturb Eivor. Just when I thought I could get away with it i heard the covers shuffling beside me.

A hand grazed my shoulder, leading me to turn around and see Eivor looking at me with a worrisome face.

“I know you're scared, but you’ll figure out what happened. Perhaps I can even help you and we can figure it out together. As long as i'm here you won't have to go through this alone. I hope that can bring you some comfort. Go ahead cry it out but please, try to get some rest afterwards,” she told me in a whisper.

Something in her words lifted a weight from my shoulders.

Then, i totally fucking lost it.

Sitting up in bed I cupped my face with my hands letting all my tears flow freely. I felt a warm embrace coming from the side of me. It was Eivor enveloping my sides. Her hands were slightly rough and I could feel all of the scars on the palms of her hands. She grasped gently onto my arms and I could make out a faint scent of vanilla and alcohol. I laid my head on her chest and the warmth coming off her body seemed to calm me down.

It was nice to feel someone there with me, knowing they were real and in the flesh. My tears began to dry after a while of crying. Eivor didn't seem annoyed with me keeping her up, even if she was clearly exhausted.

“I feel better now.” I managed to speak some words once I caught my breath.

“There you go, everythings gonna be okay. Until you can find your way back home… maybe this can be your home for a little while.” Eivor said to me.

“Thank you. I'll try to get some sleep now. I'm sorry for-“ Before I could say another word, Eivor stopped me.

“Don't apologize for that.” She still had a hold on me.

We laid down together and she never let go of me, keeping one hand on the side of me.

“Goodnight, [y/n]”

“Goodnight…” I mumbled back at her.

My eyes began to grow heavy and I started to finally doze off.

[godiyggs]

Not As Think As You Drunk I Am.

request: “71- with eliza or angelica, like they walk into their house and see a y/n in a very drunk state saying nonsenses preety please uwu✨” @your-fella-joung-gremlin

prompt: 71: “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

pairing: eliza schuyler x fem! reader

a/n: this was such a cute lil drabble for me to write 🥺 i went with eliza on this one! hope you enjoy my lovely readers <3 also kinda made it a friends to lovers au! hope u don’t mind ! if it wasn’t quite what you wanted, just shoot me a message and i’ll rewrite! ( modern au )

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It was 3 am when Eliza woke up to her phone ringing. the ungodly hour of 3 am. she lay there facing her ceiling in hopes that, eventually, it would stop ringing. she let out a breath of relief when it finally did. but then came the sound of about a dozen text messages right after it.

she groaned softly before sitting up and grabbing her phone. “crap!” she gasped out as she saw the insane number of unread messages and missed calls from you. she internally scolded herself for not having guessed that sooner. it seemed like such a you thing to do. panic grew inside her as she thought about the reason you were calling.

were you perhaps hurt? had you gotten yourself into trouble? did you need her help or advice with something? she chewed on her bottom lip as she quickly dialed your number. she felt uneasy as the line was still ringing, you hadn’t yet picked up.

her suspicion of you being in danger grew stronger as a few more seconds passed and you didn’t answer. the panic grew stronger when it sent her to your voicemail. she shot up from her bed, quickly getting dressed and shoving on the closest pair of shoes. she cursed under her breath at the traffic, she felt as if she had limited time to get to you.

shutting her car door, she quickly got out of her car rushing up to your door. just her luck, it was locked. “of course it would be locked, any person with common sense would lock their door...think” she whispered to herself

eliza flushed at your endless giggles. “so you’ve just been out here in the heat, for 2 hours?” you said, a little worried but mostly with humor. she pouted “it isn’t funny! how was i supposed to know you wouldn’t be home, i don’t know your everyday schedule.” “considering you want to be around me all the time i’d think that you do” you winked playfully at her. her heart did 3 backflips.

“you’re a good friend of mine of course i wanna be around you.” she shot back, sticking her toungue out. she could’ve sworn she saw your smile fall for a second. “yeah, yeah, whatever. i know you love me, liza! there’s spare keys under the doormat by the way” you laughed at eliza’s embarrassed expression.

Eliza smiles fondly at the memory before pulling the spare key out and making her way in. “ y/n..?” she called out, peaking into the living room. and there you were, sat in front of the fireplace next to a glass and 2 empty bottles of wine. “oh great.” eliza laughed nervously. “ y/n... whatcha doin there?” she giggled, stepping into the room fully.

you looked up from staring into the nothingness of the fire, a dopey smile on your face. and again eliza felt her heart race as you beamed up at her, cheeks red and hair a little messy. “eliiizaaa~” you sang out, before laying fully on the ground. she plopped down next to you. “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

you almost looked offended at her question. “mmm...no... ‘course not” you replied, furrowing your eyebrows. you looked up at eliza whom was sat next to your drunk figure. “have i ever told you how extreeemely beautiful you are-?” your words slurred a bit.

Eliza’s breath caught in her throat. she definitely heard you right even through your drunk state. she breathed deeply to calm her racing heart. running her fingers through your hair, she spoke “and you are extremely drunk, lovely.” your gaze on her was as if you were admiring her.

“i like that nickname” you grinned. “i think i should give you one too, like...like the prettiest girl in the world!” eliza laughed. “nicknames are meant to be short” you pouted. “you’re short.” she lovingly rolled her eyes.

“okay, i think it’s time you go to bed. you are gonna have a killer hangover in the morning that’s for sure.” she moved your hair out of your face. “no! not yet. i wanna be awake...with you...” you trailed off at the end. “i’ll be here when you wake up, y/n.” she smiled reassuringly.

she helped you get on your feet and make your way upstairs to your room (you tripped about 2 times, the second was on purpose just to see eliza laugh). she was sat on the edge of the bed, an hour had passed and she’d assumed you had fallen asleep. that is until she shifted slightly and you called out for her.

she sighed before turning to you. “what is it?” you bit your lip. “i’m sorry. i probably woke you up and you probably have better things to do-“ she cut you off “don’t say that y/n. yeah, you did wake me up but i don’t mind. there’s not much im doing in the morning anyway.” she said, in her soft voice that you loved so much. “thank you for this, by the way. i love you.”

“and i love you.” she replied. “in the same way i do you?” you blurted out, not thinking at all. her widened eyes shot up to meet yours. “what?” she asked gently. your sober conscious was telling you to stop, to just brush it off like nothing but you had kept it bottled in long enough.

“you say you love me but i want to know if it’s the same way i love you...i-it’s something beyond platonic liza. i love you. i wanna be with you.” fireworks went off in elizas chest once again, she felt the world stop. she bit her tongue and tried not to gain false hope. “y/n, you’re drunk-“ “no! i would say the same thing sober” you frowned, crossing your arms. she giggled at your childish antics. “don’t laugh...” you mumbled.

she stood up and walked to you, blush on her cheeks. “well, about your statement earlier.” she cupped you’re head in her hands. “i love you too. and it’s something beyond platonic as well” she placed a soft kiss on your nose.

“you missed.” you shot out, smirking. she looked at you, puzzled. “hm?” before she could even process anything else, your lips were on hers in a flash. and her stomach filled with butterflies as she kissed back gently. after a few seconds, you both pulled away. noses resting against each other, giggles and occasional nose kisses being shared.

next thing you know, she’s cuddled up to you. you’d fallen asleep right after the soft moment, knocked out cold and snoring. eliza rested her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. the thud of it was relaxing to her, and she follows right in your footsteps.

you woke up the next morning with a horrible headache, regretting drinking so much last night. however your regret faded when you looked down at eliza sleeping soundly in your embrace.

recalling the past events, you shared a high five with your drunk self.

that girl is mine...