#and my phone is almost dead!! yayyy

[boogieboba]

me and the only guy reffing this game: eepy

[oniikabuto]

one bed!

-- sfw --

characters: kyle broflovski, kenny mccormick, stan marsh, eric cartman

a/n: i did this for a different fandom like a year ago. i love the one bed trope i just had to write a new one for south park....,,, lmk if you want part 2

notes: fluff yayyy; gn reader; characters have a fat crush on you live laugh mutual pining;

guys requests are very much open rigjt now pleasseeeekksflkdfnkjs

— ⛧ k. broflovski

sweetest guy. he doesn't want to take your bed, but you insist.

he also hangs his jacket on the door and keeps his hat neatly on your desk... which is kinda funny and cute that he tries so hard to be neat

freezes up and goes red when you slide into the bed next to him. poor boy is about to melt.

"dude why are you so sweaty are you okay"

"huh- what? yeah, yeah it's cool i'm fine it's..,,,,,,,"

wakes up with a puddle of drool and a wet cheek. he panics and wipes his face and looks over to see if you're awake. you pretend you aren't for kyle's sake. he's so cute.

his nose also does that stupid whistley thing it's so funny

a relatively still sleeper. he just kinda curls up and.. sleeps. sometimes he murmurs something in his sleep.

"cartman.. shut up..",

"what?", you murmur groggily.

"no"

"kyle??? are you awake??"

(no response)

genuinely cannot remember any of that when he wakes up.

— ⛧ k. mccormick

it's like 1am and you turn off the movie as the credits roll.

when you look over at kenny, he looks like a baby that had just woken up.

"dude, what time is it..", he murmurs.

"um.. late." you definitely did not mean to have him over for so long.

"do you wanna go home, or like.. stay with me?"

kenny perks up immediately when you offer to let him spend the night. huge, shit-eating grin spread across his face.

"dumbass", you laugh. but you kinda wanted him over, too.

he sits in your room and pokes at all of your plushies while he waits for you to go get a change of clothes for him. ("no way you're sleeping in that eyesore of a parka!")

almost faints when you change your shirt in front of him

youre the only person that can fluster him like that.

sleeps curled up like a little car

(I MEANT TO TYPE CAT BUT THATS REALLY FUCKING FUNNY)

makes funny noises

like when a dog is sleeping

you'll wake up with his face in your chest and he'll swear it was an accident. it was not

— ⛧ s. marsh

you were at your desk doing homework and stan was on your bed on his phone, both doing your own thing as music played from your speaker.

it's not until that last math problem that you realize it's late. really, really late. you look over at stan, and he's face-down dead asleep on your bed, phone still in one hand.

you don't want to wake him up and tell him to go home, so instead you take his hat off and leave it on your bedpost.

he's splayed across the bed right in the middle.

how?? are you supposed to move him???

after a moment of deliberation, you hold your breath and roll him over, praying he doesn't wake up.

he does obviously

"ow..???? y/n??"

"shit. sorry. it's late, just go back to sleep. you can walk home tomorrow morning."

"wha- okay"

he's too tired to object

plus he secretly loves being in your bed. it smells like you

snores and breathes kinda funny once in a while

no matter how still he looks when you get into the bed with him, somehow you wake up with his limbs sprawled out like a spider.

in the morning, his leg is on top of you and his hand is on your face.

— ⛧ e. cartman

actually such a bitch about staying over

he definitely tried to distract you so that he would HAVE to spending the night

he just loves spending time with you but he doesnt wanna ask :(

"but the couch will make my back stiff! i'll be soo sore in the morning!"

"just say you want to sleep in my room with me, cartman."

"whaat?? if you insist, i guess!"

makes himself absolutely at home. if you want to sleep in your own bed, you'll have to sleep on top of him or touching him.

he definitely does that on purpose

as much as it pains you to admit it, cartman is actually like really really comfortable.

even if he's squishing you to death

and he claims he has no idea he does that in his sleep

smells like a dove soap bar or like. baby shampoo and its actually really nice

snores like a monster truck engine

leaves his shit all over the floor but also offers to help clean up to impress you

(he cant clean for shit but at least he tried??)

[modelbus]

Ahem- hey- uh- I-

…NOW I FEEL LIKE TOMMY TUBBO WILBUR AND RANBOO IN PART TWO- HELP FFJYTFJHTYTFTH

SOOOOO- HI THERE ITS ME ✨🌌🌙 ANNON, THE DISAPPEARING ANNON- LOOK- I-

OKAY SO EXPLANATION TIME, I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY CRAPPY REQUEST WOULD BE IGNORED- I ALSO HAVE NOT BEEN ON TUMBLR SINCE LIKE A WEEK AFTER I SENT IT- I COME BACK TO READ SOME STUFF FROM OUR GOOD OLD LORD AND SAVIOR MODEL, TO SEE; ONE IT WAS RECENTLY YA BIRTHDAY! (Happy late birthday-) AND TWO.. MY REQUEST WAS TURNED INTO A MASTER PEICE OF AGES WITH TWO WHOLE PARTS, I APPARENTLY HELPED GET YOU OUT OF A WRITING SLUM- AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED MY CRUMMY IDEA (Thanks to your POGGERS writing)

so basically- THANK YOU ‘O GREAT MODEL FOR HEARING MY PLEA AND DELIVERING GREATNESS!!!

also I am gonna try and be more active on tumblr now so like- yey.

ALSO ALSO, I may sometimes send in requests of my silly little ideas cuz like chaos cut fed my soul and I am now the ✨ H a p p e h ✨

ALSO ALSO ALSO, part three of chaos cut???, we are at home and get messages asking like “Yo we good now? You forgive us for being assholes??” and we say smth like “you gonna respond to my messages? Then sure” some kind of tweet is made could be as vague as “shes gonna be in videos again yayyy” or could be the group admitting to what happened?? *eyes* maybe responses from other friends?? Ofc that is a suggestion for if you decide to further continue.

wether you decide to continue it or not or you decide to use this or not, thank you so much, chaos cut was all I wanted it to be and more.

I’M BACK BABYYY!!

-All the love, ✨🌌🌙 Annon.

You live!! And I’d love to receive more of your amazing little ideas :) honestly, I’d write 500 parts of Cut Chaos

I probably formatted this weird because of the messages part and the Twitter part but Oh Well.

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Cut Chaos Part 3

The day you spent with Ranboo, Tubbo, Wilbur, and Tommy after the store might’ve been the best day you’ve ever had. You’re finally able to breathe again, to laugh again. Smiling had started drifting away from you, but suddenly you were smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

You almost don’t go home. It’s tempting to stay with Ranboo when he offers up one of their many spare bedrooms (and you do mean many), but you decline. Heading back home, closing the door to your bedroom is easier than it’s ever been. Just living is easier than it used to be.

Collapsing onto your bed, it only takes you a second before you start grinning like an idiot to yourself. Things are back to normal, back to how they should be. Sure, you could still be mad at them for what happened, but you were tired of not being around them. Tired of people being pissed off.

It takes you a full three minutes before you roll onto your side and unlock your phone with Face ID. There’s a plethora of notifications waiting for you, from a group chat that you thought was a ghost town. It makes you grin all over again.

Wilbur so we’re all good now?

Tommy yeah, u forgive us for being assholes??

Tubbo Becuase we r super sorry

You You guys gonna respond to my messages from now on?

Ranboo I promise on Tommy’s life

You Then yeah

Tommy HEY

Laughing to yourself, you swipe out of messages to open Twitter and scroll on it. You aren’t afraid to open it, not like you used to be. Random tweets would remind you of what you lost, of the various people confused why you lost it, but now you’re just giddy. Overjoyed.

Part of you wanted to announce the plans you made with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo. Scream from the (metaphorical) rooftops of Twitter that you were back. The chaos squad was back.

But, as it turns out, Tommy beat you to it. Of course he did, he can’t keep his mouth shut for the life of him. In a loving way, of course.

tommyinnit ﹫Tommyaltinnit guess who is BACK in the NEW VLOG

|_ You ﹫Yourusername me BITCHES

|_ Nia ﹫randomfanpersondontworry OMG OMG OMG NO WAY !!! CHAOS SQUAD ISNT DEAD FUCK ALL OF YOU IM WINNING TODAY

You grin, scrolling through the replies to Tommy’s tweet—including Tubbo and Ranboo’s—then realize the group name is trending. With wide eyes, you switch what you’re scrolling through to read the new tweets.

Annon ﹫StarStarMoon Anyone know what happened between the chaos squad??? Like they all drop her and now she’s back?? Something definitely happened…

|_ Real Person ﹫RealpersonIcreated THIS! Why did nobody talk about it. I wanna know fr fr

|_ Max ﹫Myfriendsnameisbeingused I think they all dropped her over those rumors ages ago. Makes sense to me tbh

|_ Charlie ﹫Myotherfriendsnameisbeingused Totally on her side if something did happen honestly lmao

Oh, fuck. You hesitate, not sure what to do, then ignore the tweet and its replies. Things were good, you didn’t need to dwell on when they were bad. Let people be people and let them speculate all they want.

This was your life and your happiness. Returned, at last.

[pencilwritesshiz47]

An Apology in the Form of an Adventure

MGR Chapter Five

[Previous] [Next] [Masterpost]

TW: Arguing

Dame Lauren Baker stared at her screen, not listening as the broadcaster kept on talking. All she could think about were those words.

"Xan Ruz is no more."

What did that even mean? How could a country be “no more”? All she knew was that there was no way that could be a good thing. And her best friend was stuck there.

She wanted to panic. But she couldn't panic. Not in front of... her. She stared at the girl who had crashed on top of her only minutes ago. She was the reason Goldie was in this situation. She was the one who left her. She...

Lauren took a deep breath. Maybe Goldie was ok. She swiped out of the broadcast screen, and opened her phone app, quickly hitting Goldie's contact.

She put her phone up to her ear, her heart racing.

Briiiing.

Briiiing.

Briiiing.

Briiiing.

Briiiing.

"Heeeeey!"

Lauren gasped. "Goldie! Goldie, are—are you alright? I—"

"You've reached Goldie Potter, and I'm not at the phone right now, sorry 'bout that. Anywaaaays, I'll call ya back when I can! Byeeeeeeeeee—"

She hung up. She tried to convince herself that Goldie's phone was just dead, but her mind kept jumping to other thoughts...

"I'm sorry."

Lauren looked over at the girl, her words breaking off her internal ranting.

"You should be."

The girl sighed and looked at her feet. "I know. I screwed up. I should have brought her with me. But you have to understand, I really tried! Everything was so crazy, and I just— I-I'm just so sorry."

And then, in that moment, Lauren had a choice. Forgive her, or not.

Almost subconsciously, she chose "not". The raging part of her took over, sending the rational part back. She started yelling again, but she wasn't even sure what she was saying until she found herself ranting about the girl helping them rescue Goldie.

She looked at the girl, her face full of fear. The girl shakily took a piece of paper and a pen out of her pocket, scribbled something on it, and handed it to her, mumbling, "My contact information." Then she walked off.

Lauren just stood there. She wasn't sure what to think, or what to feel. She looked at the paper in her hands. It was pink, with little flowers around the edges. Written on it in some of the fanciest writing she'd ever seen, were the words, "Lady Elisabeth Melly," and then an address and a phone number. She shoved it into her pocket but she didn't leave. She just stood there.

She wasn't sure how long it had been since the girl—Lady Elisabeth—had left, but when she heard footsteps the sky was a shade of purple so dark it ought to be black.

"Hey," a gentle called out. "It's late."

"She's still in Xan Ruz," Lauren responded, almost robotically.

"What?"

"Goldie. She's still in Xan Ruz. A-and I called her, and she didn't answer. And I think someone's going to help us find her in three days if she doesn't come back but I don't even know—"

The person had come around to her by now, and she just sank into their arms, soon realizing that it was her friend, Marigold. She looked up at her, her eyes filled with tears. "M, I don't know what to do and I'm-I'm scared."

"Let's go home," she whispered, and slowly, they stared to walk back to the JKA.

✧✧✧

"You double-checked the checklist, right? We do have everything?" The knight asked.

"For the last time, yes." The healer said, a bit exasperated although she still had a small smile on her face.

"Are you sure you're not lying to me?"

"Would I lie to you about a checklist?"

Lauren sighed. "I sure hope not."

Three days had passed since her encounter with the noblewoman. And since Goldie hadn't returned, they were heading out for Xan Ruz.

Unfortunately, the JKA leader Dame Alice, wasn't completely thrilled with a sector leader and a healer to go wandering off on an international rescue adventure, so the two had to sneak out.

"Ok, now when did Di say she'd be closing the portal?" Lauren asked, not wanting to be late.

"Uh, I think it was the 23rd hour? And it's the 22nd hour right now, so we're good." Marigold replied.

Lauren nodded, and peaked out her bedroom door. Thankfully, there was no one there, and she motioned to Marigold to follow her.

They tip-toed through from one end of the hallway to the other, stopping when they reached door 3. The brunette knocked on the door softly, and the blue-haired girl answered, yawning slightly. "Thank the gods you're here, this portal is a bit harder to keep open then I thought."

Lauren knit her brows. "But isn't the location pretty close to here?"

Di sighed. "Yeah, it does seem to be, but for some reason it's just... tiring. That could be from the strain leftover from opening that Xan Ruz portal, but something is still off..."

Lauren frowned. "Well, we'll look into that when we get back. But thank you for opening this."

Di smiled. "No prob boss," and the two stepped through the portal.

✧✧✧

"We're outside the palace," the sprite remarked, staring at the building looming just yards away from them.

Lauren stared at it. It was quite huge, with many towers and high walls. The dark gray brick and numerous Calinas flags gave it a sense of majesty and elegance, but in the dark it felt frightening as well.

But Lauren wasn't paying attention to it, instead, she was trying to find the river where, according to Marigold, Lady Elisabeth had arranged a boat to be placed.

It took her a second, but she quickly found the brown wooden rowboat. It was modest, but it would work. She quickly dragged Marigold over to it, and climbed in.

She took a moment to take it all in—the feeling of the rough wood beneath her, the smell of the cool night air, and the gentle sounds of the river flowing. But it didn't last long—she had other things to attend to.

She opened her phone, as there wasn't enough light for her to see her watch. In bright white letters behind her lockscreen (A selfie of her, Goldie, and Marigold taken just a few months after she joined the JKA) was the time—22:19. She sighed. They had made it on time.

Marigold went over to the side of the boat, and quickly climbed in, splashing both of them. Lauren giggled, leaned over to the side of the boat, and cupped up some water in her hands. Then, quick as an arrow, she threw it at Marigold's back. The sprite turned around, her face in an expression of mock anger. She gasped, and took a bit of water in her hands, gently spraying Lauren with it.

They went on like this for a few minutes, although Marigold was far more wet than Lauren. When they were finally finished with their splash-fest, Lauren checked her phone's time again, frowning.

"What's wrong?" Marigold asked, concern lacing her voice.

Lauren showed the healer her phone, the time reading 22:24—Elisabeth was four minutes late.

"Oh," Marigold said, frowning slightly. "Don't worry, she'll be here soon."

Lauren sighed, but nodded. Not knowing what else to do, she looked up at the stars, smiling.

The stars had always fascinated Lauren. They were dots of mystery lining the sky, and she loved to find constellations and see if she could guess where the moons that weren't visible this time of month were.

At about 22:29, Marigold went out to see if she could spot Elisabeth, and it took another two minutes until she finally showed up.

Lauren rolled her sapphire-colored eyes. "You're late."

Elisabeth scowled. "For your information, it wasn't exactly easy getting out of the meeting. Although I doubt you'd understand that, as I assume that you got out without any trouble."

Lauren huffed. "Well, you know what happens when you assume, because it was actually quite a bit of a challenge getting out."

Elisabeth said nothing, and simply climbed into the boat.

Lauren looked up at Marigold, who seemed to be staring across the river. "M." No response. "M!" The sprite stayed silent. "M!!" That seemed to shock her out of whatever funk she was in, as she quickly climbed into the boat once again.

"You good?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah. I was just... thinking."

"Ok..." Lauren said. She quickly pulled out her sword, and cut the rope attaching them to the shore, and they started moving.

"We're coming for you, Goldie," she murmured as the current sailed them away. 

Eyyy finally got the chapter out!! yayyy!!

Anyways, please let me know:

If you want to be added or removed from the taglist

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Your general feedback

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also, please remember, reblogs are free, and if you don’t like it you can always delete the post later. it’d be a big help for my account, and thank you

Taglist: @xonar-verse

@dorkdukess

@dirty-racoon

[godofevrerything]

Hell Rising Chapter Two: Rin

"Witch! Burn the witch!"

The winds howled as I struggled to push to the front of the crowd. The thick smoke filled my nose, and I wheezed.

I could see Amma tied to the stake, her braids swirling around her face.

"Amma!" I screamed. "No, don't kill my Amma! She didn't do anything wrong!"

Amma lifted her head, her foggy eyes meeting mine.

"Run!" she screamed. "Run Saurin, run!"

"Amma!" I howled.

"Run, my little Ifrit!" Amma cried. "Run, now!"

The villagers turned to me, hatred burning in their eyes.

"It's the witch's boy!" someone boomed. "We have to burn him too!"

I staggered back as the villagers came towards me.

"Amma didn't do anything wrong! Let her go!" I screamed.

One of the villagers grabbed my shirt, his lip curled in disgust.

"It's almost a pity. The little thing's barely 6. But it must die."

"Saurin! Fight and run!" Amma yelled.

I looked at my Amma, and then at the villagers.

Then I wound my foot back and kicked him between his legs.

The villager dropped to the ground, howling in pain. I turned and ran into the forest. The rest of my village was hot on my heels.

"Let him go! The little animal will die in the forest anyway." one of them scoffed.

I ran hard, tears pouring down my face.

Amma...

Amma...

I'm so sorry Amma...

I massaged my head, pushing back the memories. They were coming more often these days. I only hoped that they would not come during a fight.

Kai shifted in my lap. "Amma?"

"Hmm?"

I looked down at my son. "What is it, Ifrit?"

He swallowed. "The bus is scary."

I chuckled and unraveled one of my scarfs. "Here. Put this around you and go to sleep. We will reach our stop soon. Don't worry."

Kai wrapped himself in my scarf and snuggled into my chest. I adjusted Sabrina and glanced at Rana. Though I couldn't see her, I imagined that Rana was slumping on the seat, her head lolling.

I reached out and stroked her hair carefully. Rana's hand snapped up and caught my wrist.

I stilled.

She held my wrist for a moment, and then reached up and intertwined our fingers. I let her bring our hands to her lap, smiling.

She really was touch starved.

Ivan texted me.

Rinny!!!!!!!

Hey Ivan

Darcy said that you and da fam would be over!!!

Yes. We're on the way.

Yayyy

Ivan are you drunk

Wahhttt Nooooo

Ivan you're drunk

Rin it's Darcy. Ivan's a bit 🥴

Ok Wait are you drunk

-_- No. I don't like to get drunk. Hangover are effin punishments from Hell

Darcy you're literally a party girl. You love drinking.

Not the hangovers

Fair. See you soon

Bye!

I chuckled and put my phone back in my pocket. I glanced out the window. It was our stop.

I nudged Rana. She sat up and I heard her yawn. She let go of my hand and walked out of the bus, her shoes tapping against the isle. I saw her turn herself visible on the curb and wave at me to come out of the bus.

I shook Kai awake. "Kai. Come on, get up. We're going to go see Aunt Darcy and Uncle Ivan."

Kai opened his groggily. "Amma? Do I have to walk?"

I smiled. "Yes, little Ifrit."

He pouted, but still listened to me, rubbing his eyes.

I adjusted Sabrina and walked down the isle, holding Kai's hand.

The bus driver yelled out, "Hey lady! Hurry up!"

I sighed and walked faster.

"Maybe ya shouldn't wear all them damn scarfs next time. Ya look real dumb."

I gritted my teeth, ignoring him. Kai looked up at me in confusion.

"Amma?"

I shook my head at Kai, a silent warning to not say a word.

"Hey! Doncha speak English?! Are ya deaf or something?!"

I closed my eyes for a moment. Briefly, I wondered if I could shock him, just to shut him up. But with my anger rising, there was possibility that I would overdo it and make him unresponsive.

I slowed my pace, just to tick him off. His face went red with anger.

"Hey! Stupid! Get the hell off of my bus!"

I turned to him and smiled sweetly. And told him to go screw himself.

In Indian of course.

I walked off the bus and turned, looking him dead in the eye. And flipped him off.

Rana burst into laughter and flipped him off with me. She slung her arm around my shoulder.

"Want me to give him a migraine?"

I grinned. "Yes, please."

Rana concentrated for a moment. I glanced at the bus and saw the driver suddenly grab his head in pain.

Kai tugged on my hand. "Amma?"

"Yes?"

"Why did the driver yell at you? We're we doing something wrong?" he asked.

My eyes widened. "What? No, Kai! We didn't do anything wrong!"

"Then why did the driver yell at us?"

Rana snorted. "Because he is a piece of sh-"

I elbowed her and knelt down to Kai's eye level.

"It's called discrimination. He was especially rude to us because of our skin color. Kai, promise me that you will never be discriminatory towards someone. Alright, Ifrit?"

Kai nodded. "Course, Amma! I don't want to be discriminory like that man."

"Discriminatory." Rana corrected.

"Discriminatory!" Kai repeated.

I chuckled.

Rana took Kai's hand and we started walking down to Darcy and Ivan's hotel. The air was crisp, and I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly melt away. We were going to be safe soon.

We walked into the hotel and went up to Ivan and Darcy's room. Rana knocked on the door. It swung open.

"Rana! Rin! Hey, Kai! Ooo, Sabi looks ten times more adorable when she is sleeping!" Darcy squealed.

She definitely wasn't expecting us. Darcy had her pink bathroom on and curlers in her golden hair.

And a obviously homemade face mask.

She hugged us all, beaming.

Rana raised her eyebrow. "What BS did you smear on your face this time?"

Darcy gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. "BS?! This is an organic honey and milk mask!"

"Honey and milk?" I asked. "What ancient website did you get that from?"

Darcy waved her finger in my face. "Don't judge! It worked with the ancient Egyptians!"

Kai looked up from hugging her. "Why is it brown, Auntie?"

Darcy froze. "Oh fu- I got to wash it off! Get in here!"

We came into the hotel room and I closed the door behind us. Darcy ran into the bathroom to wash off her face mask. Ivan raised his head from his place on the bed.

He was clearly nursing his hang over, but he still beamed at us.

"Rin! Rana!" he boomed. "So glad to see you guys! And Kai, come over here, you rascal!"

Kai jumped onto his lap. "Hi Uncle Ivan!"

Ivan ruffled his hair. "You haven't been giving your mothers any trouble, have you?"

Kai shook his head. "Nope!"

Ivan glanced at us.

I laughed. "He's never given us trouble, Ivan. Don't worry."

Darcy came out of the bathroom, the curlers still in her hair. She sat down next to Ivan, yawning.

"It's just past noon, Darcy. Are you tired already?" Rana teases her.

Darcy stuck out her tongue. "Shut up."

Rana laughed.

We talked a bit, a moment of peace before he storm. I felt lighter, listening to Ivan and Darcy's antics. Rana, though, was unusually quiet.

I glanced over and saw her staring down at her phone, shaking.

"Darcy, can you hold Sabi for a second?"

She grinned. "Sure!"

I handed over Sabrina and nudged Rana. She didn't move.

I looked down at her phone screen and froze in shock. There was text.

Watch out, 78. Soon you'll be back at the butchering table. See you soon, little lamb.

[rogue-barnes-16]

BLIND (part XXX/XXX)

Summary: Steve brought Bucky to the compound for him to join the Avengers. While some of them welcomed him with smiles, others prefer to judge him for his past. But, could that change?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Blind:

@goodnightmode @superhero2552 @thejourneyneverendsx @wishingforahome @thefandomzoneisdangerous @catsandbooksinafarawayplace @learisa @onespideyboi @afootnoteinyourhappiness @shirukitsune

Permanent taglist:

@notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack

Warnings: language, angst, a bit chaotic

A/N: this is the last part yayyy! There's an epilogue left, but this is it. Omg it's so long. Enjoy <3.

Blind masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I didn't know how I had been able to hold back the sobs during my whole way to the lab "Tony" I called him, clenching my jaw stronger with each step I took.

"Where have you been?" he asked confused, but mildly distracted. "Barnes wanted to say goodbye before going with Vision to Toronto."

"we've to talk" my voice cracked slightly with that sentence, and it caused Tony to finally look up at me.

He circled his table and took a couple of hesitant steps towards me "about what?" I had to bite my lower lip to stop it from trembling. "Y/n, what happened?"

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and rested against one of the numerous tables "I received an email from Ross" I started to explain. "a few days ago. It was 'bout what happened during... My latest mission."

"the kids?" he quietly asked, making his way to sit on a desk in front of me.

"he read Steve's report" I kept going, my hands gripping the edge of the table while I did so. "but it's not just that, I got drunk a couple of weeks ago-"

"yeah" he confirmed "Barnes told us"

I nodded and opened my eyes before resuming my explanation "I went to see the two kids' families. I told them it was me."

"wait WHAT?!"

"they filed two law suits against me." Tony's eyes widened "I've just come back from a private trial"

There was a moment of silence before the millionaire spoke again. "what did they tell you" this time, his voice was much quieter, and it was obvious that he was afraid of what I could answer.

I intended to scoff, but it came out accompanied by a sob, which made it sound way worse. "karma's a bitch"

It hadn't been a regular trial.

It couldn't have been a regular trial, because this wasn't a regular crime, and I wasn't a regular person.

I was an Avenger.

An Avenger who —no matter what Bucky, Natasha, Tony, Wanda and Vision could say about it— had murdered two kids.

The trial had been quick, and now it was my time to talk with Ross in private.

So here we were, standing in front of each other with a desk in the middle. "it's a good deal, Y/l/n" he said, breaking the silence. "you know it can be way worse."

"worse?" I scoffed, shocked by his statement. "they are taking my life away from me. They are taking everything away from me."

"You'll probably be able to come back to the compound in a while" he replied, trying to convince me to accept that fucking deal "we'll figure out a way for you to-"

"I won't be able to-" my voice cracked at the mere thought of agreeing on it. "they're not only taking my job away from me, 'kay? My friends- my life- I just-"

"they'll visit you from time to time!" he yelled at me, exasperated.

"I'm not gonna give up my-" I took a deep breath, clenching my fists around the backrest of the chair. "what 'bout Barnes? 'from time to time' is not enough. Not for us."

"Listen, Y/l/n" he spoke, pinching the bridge of his nose "either you retire, or you go to that prison you saw your friends in a couple of years ago."

"Fuck" Tony cursed under his breath. "fuck fuck fuck fuck" I could almost see the millions of alternative ways to solve this passing through his eyes while he started to pace before me.

"they gave me four days to decide" I interrupted him, swallowing the lump in my throat.

He stopped dead in his tracks, opening his eyes widely. "Barnes will be out for a week."

"it's okay" I lied, crossing my arms over my chest "it's better if he doesn't know just yet"

"Y/n-"

"it's better if he doesn't know just yet" I repeated with gritted teeth.

Tony opened his mouth to reply, but it rapidly shut again when he looked at the entrance of the lab "what are you two talking about?"

I slowly turned around to be met with Wanda's worried green eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had had to tell Wanda.

She promised she wouldn't say anything, but by the looks Natasha was giving me, I knew my forced retirement wasn't a secret anymore.

"what?" I bitterly barked, not bothering on looking up from my book at the redhead. "I know you know it already, so quit-"

"Everyone knows already" she cut me off, making me finally raise my gaze to her. "Everyone but Barnes" she made a pause before picking her phone from there pocket and sliding it over the table. "Tell him. He deserves to know."

I stared at the phone for a second, not daring to move. "Nat, I'm- I don't want him to-"

"he deserves it more than anyone." and with that, she got up and, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly, she left me there.

I did consider calling him, or at least sending a text. Then I realized there was only a day left, and that there was no point on doing it.

So I didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't realize it was my last day at the compound until late night, and it probably was because everyone kept acting like nothing happened for me not to think much about it.

It worked. That was the reason why the breakdown came at midnight instead of during the morning.

But it's alright, I thought while I opened my room's door, it's better to break down alone than- "what the hell d'you think you're doin'?" no, please. "answer, Y/n" Bucky demanded. "I think I deserve an answer."

I wanted to offer him some kind of reply, but no words came out.

I had frozen when I saw him standing there in the darkness of the room, still wearing his now dirty suit.

"Y/n." he called my name, shaking me off my brief trance. "Tell me you're not leaving." again, I didn't answer, but this time was because I didn't want to lie to him. "please, Y/n. Please tell me your not leaving, 'kay? Please"

His eyes were now slightly bloodshot due to the tears he was holding back. "it's not a choice" I finally spoke, clearing my throat while I stepped towards the bed, where my suitcase was already set up for me to pack my things. "I can't stay"

"not even for me?" I wanted to say 'no', but I felt a lump slowly forming in my throat while I began to put my clothes inside the suitcase. "Y/n, please" he held my wrists, stopping me from continuing my task. "not even for- for us?" He swallowed forcefully went he realized I had noticed the crack in his voice. "Don't go. They can't- I- please, don't." this time, he didn't even try to hide the way his voice tremble. "d-don't leave me"

"don't be so fucking selfish" my voice cracked too, but luckily, he was too shocked by my words to hear it. "you knew this wouldn't end well, so quit the childish behavior." I threw a couple more things into the suitcase before closing it. "this relationship made no sense anyways"

When I said that last sentence, I certainly wasn't expecting the reaction I got from him.

His eyes went darker, and tears finally fell down his cheeks, but accompanied by anger. "y'know what? You're right." If there was something left to break inside me, it for sure shattered with his words. "You've been taking bad decisions since I met you. But in this one," he ran his hand through his hair. "in this one you're on your own."

Right after he stalked out of the room, my legs gave in and I fell to the floor, unable to breath, unable to cry, unable to move.

He was right, I was on my own now, and it was my fault.

I stayed like that for a couple of hours before I was able to move. And the moment I was able to move, I left.

Two Weeks Later

The house wasn't bad at all. It was a kind of rustic bungalow besides the beach with plenty of commodities.

The first six days I had felt so alone. I didn't move from my bed until the beginning of the second week.

I started keep myself busy with anything and everything during the day, and during the night, if I couldn't sleep, I went to the beach.

That night felt like it was going to be one of those nights, so I put the bikini on and, after grabbing the towel, I made my way to the front door.

Before I got there, however, I heard a couple of weak knocks on it. Out of habit, first thing I did was to grab my gun.

Holding it with one hand, I approached the door and I used the free one to open it.

The hand grabbing my gun fell limply to my side. "how- what are you doing here?" I managed to ask, my eyes locked with his. "Bucky-"

He took a couple of steps towards me and pushed me back slightly. I couldn't remember what I was going to say, because as soon as his lips crashed with mines, my mind went blank. Without noticing, I was returned the kiss while my hands roamed over his chest.

The kiss deepened quicker than expected, growing even more passionate, as well as desperate each passing second.

I needed to hold onto something, because I knew we would end up falling. I was losing strength and I felt Bucky’s body shaking as much as mine.

My back got slammed against the wall —I hadn't even noticed we were moving— and I gasped.

That was when I remembered we needed air, so I broke the kiss, pushing him back just enough for us to breath.

"You're not on your own" he mumbled with hooded eyes and swollen lips. "I'm sorry, I love you."

"I didn't mean what I said" I replied, wrapping my shaky arms around his neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you're right, I always make bad decisions. I'm sorry" I repeated, nuzzling my nose against his neck. "I'm so sorry, I love you more than anything, I'm sorry."

We stayed like that for a moment, hugging, in peaceful silence, until Bucky spoke. "I came to stay"

I frowned, pulling away to look at him "what?"

"I retired." he answered, giving me a genuine smile. "I'm staying with you." he brushed a strand of hair off my face. "If you want me here, of course"

I nodded, not being able to formule a proper sentence, bringing him closer for another kiss.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x01 “Stranger in a Strange Land”

oh boy WHAT A GOOD START

03:13pm

I AM READY (slash not ready at all) FOR CAS BEING VERY SAD ABOUT DEAN FOR MULTIPLE EPISODES STRAIGHT (slash not straight at all)

i know almost nothing about this season besides dean being micheal for longer than he was a demon, and cas being :< the saddest puppy

-

03:15

yoooo i need to go find some headphones because i can hear all the BLRAHAHRGAH but voices are muffled

brb

-

03:18

headphones acquired

now let’s do this recap again

i paused on alexander’s boobs

i still don’t get why breasts are censored and non-breasts are not. like. they’re literally the same just less squishy???

-

WHOA THESE HEADPHONES HAVE BASS. i haven’t heard bass in months

-

okay no the issue with voices is the video file, not my speakers

welp guess i gotta just deal with it and squint at the screen because somehow that makes it easier to hear shit idk

-

03:22

still mid-key bummed about gabriel and dean yelling “gabe no!!!”

-

03:23

sam driving the impala alone is such a sad sight

-

i can head the adhan (muslim call the prayer) in the background

pffffff of course michael goes to arabia

i guess he teleported.... i guess that’s better than taking poor dean on a plane

oh wait the adhan was on dean’s phone??? jsdfghd unsure what to make of that

oH MY GOD MICHEL IS MUSLIM

THIS MAKES ME WEIRDLY HAPPY

IDK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF THIS BUT I AM A FAN

oh wait never mind that’s nOT DEAn

IT LOOKED LIKE HIM OKAY, in profile, lying in bed

WHOOPS

-

oh god this guy better not die

i feel such immediate fondness

please let him be gentle and loving and important and not a terrorist or a red shirt

-

THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL I HAVEN’T HEARD ANYONE SAYING THESE PRAYERS IN SO LONG

one time i was in the school playground and i think someone asked if i could speak any other language and i said nope but i could say that prayer...... and they made me repeat so they could laugh at me again

-

also the dude skipped a whole surah (verse) and a hands-on-the-knees-bow before sijda (kneeling)

i guess it’s a timing thing but jsdgjgd INACCURACY

-

03:32

JENSEN PRAYING LIKE THAT PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE A TURN-ON BUT WOWWW

PLEASE DO THAT A LOT MORE

his pronunciation was so beautiful, shoutout to whichever dialect coach sat there helping him say it right

-

03:34

“if you really cared about peace, you never would’ve left syria”

MICHEAL IS AN ASSHOLE

-

03:35

micheal: “you’re lost, and not worth saving”

definitely two distinct destiel concepts turned on their heads in six words there

cas’ “when he first laid his hand on you in hell, he was LOST”

and dean’s “you don’t think you deserve to be saved”

-

03:38

ooooo nice title card with the flapping wings

-

03:39

it’s so nice seeing the bunker crowded with good guys

-

03:39

this guy: sam season 18

500 other people probably made this joke already

-

03:42

sam: “maggie, can you hack the traffic cams on the freeway?”

maggie: “um................... no?”

relatable

-

03:44

BOBBY AND JACK YAYYY

god this makes me wanna write all the AUs where it’s not weird that character x is alive at the same time as character y. i know i do that a lot anyway but I WANT MORE

-

03:47

southern suit guy: “castiel... darling”

cas: “oh god” >:|

i love how cas is so done with everything and everyone, forever

my love for him knows no bounds

-

and i love that cas is still curious enough to ask “what did you just order?”

-

03:50

cas: *very calm, very stern, very slow* “does any demon know where dean winchester is?”

vs

*throws monster against tree* “WHERE’S THE ANGEL”

-

03:51

demon: “and how is it you lost dean? i thought the two of you were joined at the.......” *gestures to crotch* “you know... everything”

IS IT QUEERBAITING OR IS IT JUST QUEER WE JUST DON’T KNOW

BUT I’M ENJOYING IT

I’LL FUCKING TAKE IT, THANK YOU ANDREW DABB

-

03:54

oh cas :c

poor cas

he probably needs to read “how to win friends and influence people” tbh

if his first port of call to bargaining with demons is threatening them, that’s not getting him anywhere in the long run

not saying he deserved getting beaten up by a gang (hell no) but he probably could’ve offered, like, an angel feather or something

-

also whenever something bad happens to cas what makes me saddest is knowing that somewhere in the world there are people grinning with glee and taking it as confirmation that the character is worthless

i probably shouldn’t think about that but i do anyway

-

03:58

oh hey danneel!!! i didn’t know she’d be back, i’m glad she is

-

03:59

michael: “you don’t recognise me with this pretty face?”

1. michael thinks dean is pretty

2. i wonder how many casual viewers aren’t aware these two are married

-

04:02

you know what i find interesting

jensen seems to be able to control his face so that he doesn’t look obviously attracted to danneel in this scene (besides the chin touch)

i think his pupils are slightly dilated but that might be the low light

which leads me to believe

1. he’s trying extra hard because He’s Married To Her (and micheal has intense facial control anyway)

1.1. he doesn’t try so hard with misha because he doesn’t realise he’s doing it

2. he does the hearteyes and lip-licks with misha/cas on purpose because DEAN is attracted to cas

or ALL OF THE ABOVE

(and while 1.1 and 2 may seem to conflict, i theorise that jensen allows his natural reactions to show because he knows he likes misha and knows dean likes cas??)

anyway my point is that he showed less outward attraction to his wife than he does to his boyfriend and there’s probably a good reason for that and jensen was thinking about it while acting

-

04:08

the way michael hisses when he says “a placccccee..” and wobbles his head when he says “it’s very very human of you” reminds me of kaa from the jungle book (specifically the scarlett johannson live action/cgi version)

he a snek

-

micheal: “if they’re all these sad... lost... fallen things, maybe they’re not worth saving either”

clearly this guy never heard the story about the starfish

-

04:14

ugh lucifer’s still here? or ... wait is this the vessel?? oh mannnn poor dude

-

04:17

oh no sam, seeing his torturer being an okay guy now

everyone in this show is so traumatised

-

04:18

demon suit guy: “i’m the boy who’s got your angel! and you wanna seem him again... you know, alive, we should probably chat”

sam is having a bad day, i see

-

04:19

what’s cool about this episode so far is that yeah there’s a LOT going on

but it’s balanced and makes sense and is informative and entertaining, not a garbage pile of chaos like a deadly duo episode would be

-

04:23

cas does the best eye-rolls

and his eyelashes are so pretty

-

04:40

kip: “so take the deal, sam, before i stop trying to be crowley...... and show you who i really am”

a good line

-

04:44

hey the black dude survived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the demon’s vessel is fine!!!!

that’s new

-

04:46

the fact the humans can all come out of that fight just looking lightly scratched and cas looks like he was attacked by a giant squirrel is quite a feat

-

04:48

jack: “all i did was get punched in the face”

cas: “to be fair, we all got punched in the face”

face punch solidarity!!

-

04:49

jack says without power he’s useless

cas: “oh jack... that’s just not true”

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 300% LEVEL COMPLETED POWER BOOST TO ALL STATS

-

04:52

oh heckie deckie it looks like michael is gonna raise an army of monsters

-

WELP THAT WAS GREAT

10/10

NOBODY I CARED ABOUT DIED

SAVING PEOPLE, HUNTING THINGS

THE FAMILY BUSINESS

I LOVE WHEN THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER AND WORK TOGETHER

i look forward to seeing charlie and rowena later!!! since they’re still alive in this universe i believe

god this show is so much better when people aren’t dead

i still mourn for kevin though

jack is a lil cutie patootie, maggie is adorable also. like mice in a house of rabbits

cas is still and forever my favourite. <3 <3 <3 and i love when he’s such a valued part of the team and knows it implicitly

CAS IS LOVED AND KNOWS IT, AND LOVES OTHERS AND IS CLEAR ABOUT IT

HALLELUJAH

[wehappywhispersstudent-blog]

It’s always been you

Pairing: Jhope x reader

Word count: + 1k

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Angst

A/N: My first time writing fanfic yayyy. Also, I give credits to @btsstan4life since she helped me with the title and prompt. Please give me feedback and on things I should change or keep in my writing so I could improve. Thanks!!

Masterlist

Many people think that we’re happy. That we’re the perfect couple, there's no trouble between us. But seeing as he’s been giving me the cold shoulder hurts a lot. Keeping an act just so the media can think that we’re a happy couple. Believe me when I say this: I love him, I really do. But the path that we’re walking too.. I’m having my doubts. He doesn’t have that same shine in his eyes.. Doesn’t smile as brightly to me as he does to his members. Doesn’t radiate sunshine to me. I just wish everything could go back to normal. I miss the small pecks he used to give me. Back hugs, forehead and nose kisses, cuddling.. Just where did I go wrong? “I’m heading out” Hoseok said. “Don’t stay up for me.” I nodded at him, smiling weakly as tears were forming. I kept staring at him, grabbing his coat and house keys before heading out. What was I supposed to do? Be selfish and tell him to stay? I don’t want anything else to go wrong.

I just wish he could see I was hurting. I wish he could still tell me he loves me. Does he even though?

I decided to wait for him on the couch and confront him when he came back.

My eyes were starting to feel droopy as it was getting even later. 2:19 AM. ‘Where is he?’ Right on cue, the door handle was jiggling and in came Jhope. I was observing him until he finally noticed me and gave me a hard cold stare.

“I told you not to wait for me” His words sput out with bitterness it almost stung me. I could instantly hear my heart break but I tried to my face strong and blank. “We need to talk.” I said firmly and I swore I saw some nervousness in his eyes, but it left as quickly as it came. “We don’t have to talk about anything.” He was walking towards his room but I stood up. “You always ignore me when we’re alone!” That made him stop dead in his tracks.

“You don’t give me.. The affection any more.. You don’t-  Do you even love me?” I looked at his back, voice cracking and teary eyes.  He slowly turned back around and looked at me with the blankest stare.

The silence was eating me alive so I spoke again “Answer me!” The tone of my voice seemed to shock him since he took a step back. His face was mixed with confusion but then it turned into anger.

“What do you expect? Loving you? Hugging you after you go whoring around and using me? Do you think I would love you after that? If you think so... Then we live in two different worlds Y/N” What he said shocked me and I scoffed. “Use you? Whoring around? What the fuck are you talking about? I would never use you! Never go behind your back and cheat on you! Sure I get lonely but that doesn’t give me the right to cheat on you. I love YOU and only YOU” I emphasized my words at him.

Apparently, it didn’t get to him as he stepped forward “That’s not what you say when you hung out with..” He took out his phone quickly and searched for something. When he found it he showed it to me, It was an article. “..him” I took his phone in my hands and quickly recognized who he was but either way I started scrolling through the pictures still in shock. “You even kissed his cheek. Hold his hand and hugged him from behind. He even gave you forehead kisses! I knew you were a slut in the beginning and only using me for my money. But I didn’t want to believe it.” He said finally being quiet for a little bit.

I stared at the picture then started chuckling, then full out laughing, Jhope had a confused and angered expression “Why are you laughing? You think this is funny?”

I shook my head and forcefully giving his phone back “You really believe all that it says in there?” I had just a little bit of hope in my eyes as I was hoping he wasn’t being serious. “ Does it look like I don’t? Or are you too much of a slut that you’re blind?” My heart hurt hearing him say this to me.

“You fucking used me for my money you whore! And you even have the decency to laugh? I didn’t think you were too stupid but damn, now I see where your IQ stands. Why no one fucking hires you, Why you have to go around and fu-” I slapped him. As hard as I could. I was uncontrollably crying and sobbing.

“I know I’m not that smart, I know I don’t have enough money of my own. But that doesn’t give you the right to humiliate me! You wanna know who that was in the pictures? Alright then, it’s my older brother!” This caught Jhope by surprise. “He was visiting me for a few days to see how I was and I was so happy for you to meet him... But you ignored me so I told him to go home! I missed him so much I gave him hugs and kisses. As for your money? I didn’t care about it! I only care about you!  It's only ever been you. The fame, the traveling, the fans, I even had to go through so much hate from them because I wanted to be with you! But none of it mattered as long as you love me... Just as I love you.” Jhope had his eyes softened and tried to approach you. But you stepped back and let out a sob. Deep down Jhope didn’t really mean anything and he was pretty guilty about it, he even had some tears of his own.

“Y/N... Love I’m-” I held up my hands to silence him. “I’ll be leaving the apartment. And whenever you’re gone, I’ll come and pick up my stuff.” She headed towards the door and stopped midway “We’re through.” She said not looking back. Placing the house keys in a bowl next to the door and walked out.

Jhope was only standing there in shock and in tears as he tried to process everything that just happened.

After a few minutes, he came back to reality and fell on the couch with his hand covering his mouth to hold back a sob.

“What have I done..?”

[thedepthsremember]

TRR 3.17: “Save the Date” AKA Everyone makes MC look like a thoughtless fool but also Savannah shows up!

In which Maxwell continues to be my soulmate or possibly just me. 

We’re back in Cordonia and GLADYS IS HERE :D 

Gladys is very good at managing Madeline, which thrills me. Take this rude robot away from me. 

This chapter starts off with so much Madeline, gross. I WANT TO REFUSE YOUR STUPID SCIENTIFICALLY CHOSEN DRESS OUT OF SPITE BUT it's.....actually really pretty. I like that purple a lot. Dammit.

though I am still 5 seconds away from running away in my burlap sack to marry Maxwell behind a pizza parlor JUST TO SPITE YOU. 

All this is too much pressure for one dress. I miss the days when Maxwell would be like HEY I HAD 5 SECONDS AND I FOUND THIS, YOU LOOK AMAZING. thanks my guy. 

ONLY BOUGHT THIS DRESS SO YOU COULD TAKE~! IT~! OFF~! 

Hey it’s fukkin... Clarence? Whatever his name was in High School Story. He’s apparently now moving things for Cordonian nobles. Musical career went down the tubes, eh Clarence?

Time to choose our wedding party!!! 

Maid of Honor: HANA. HANA MY CHOICE IS HANA Obviously HANAAAAAA no fucking contest.

Wow if you so choose, you can be Bridezilla: 

Best Man: Awwww MAXWELL IMMEDIATELY PICKED DRAKE I'm having emotions ;-; they've come so far. From Drake ignoring Maxwell, to bonding over cleaning cabinets, to here. BROS BROS BROS BROS

Ring Bearer: Shittttt picking my dog would be cute af if LIAM HADN'T USED THE DOG FOR THIS SAME PURPOSE RIGHT BEFORE I CURB STOMPED HIS HEART so no. 

Plus I do like the idea of making Savannah part of things :D 

sorry random Cordonian child, friends take priority. 

I promise this is the only picture of her I’ll post, but for some reason this line made me lose my shit. 

madeline hghglskdj do you ever talk to human people 

Officiant: Oh god. Oh God no why are these my choices I PHYSICALLY RECOILED FROM MY PHONE. HOW CAN I POSSIBLY MAKE LIAM MARRY ME AND HIS FRIEND OH NO. On top of him thinking ‘haha wow my dead dad should be doing this :(((’ Let him be quietly heartbroken in peace. 

Going with the Queen, she likes me now. 

Leo is a wacky choice, but I could see it working if your LI is Maxwell (maybe Liam?), because they were buddies and people expect Maxwell to do weird things anyway. 

...Why is Maxwell blocking the doorway....kind of hot. I have a problem.

GONNA BE HUSBAND AND WIIIIFE T_T hgnghgh don’t touch me i’m emotional 

HELL YEAH TRYING CAKE IS THE BEST PART this is why we're partners in crime for life yo

In real life news, I once got to taste cakes for our senior reception and it was the best day ever. 

Gladys senses how bad I feel about never being the thoughtful one, and is gonna help out her useless Duchess. BLESS YOU GLADYS, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU. Just sit here covered in cake filling like a sexy thoughtless fool. 

I will do anything that makes Maxwell continue to beam proudly because he deserves it. I love that he got us unique cakes because we’re unique people!!

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING SWEET I’M FURIOUS!!!

Riley and Maxwell are going to spend the rest of their lives yelling NO YOU’RE GREAT AND I’M LUCKY at each other and then making out

Sidenote, mixing food and sex is a turn off for me, but in the service of flustering Maxwell, I guess I’m down. 

...........Friends ilu and our group chat, but if you don’t stop cockblocking me i stg 

both times it has been started by Drake. I’m replacing all your whiskey with vanilla vodka. 

Gladys has my back and I’m now getting Maxwell a cheetah cake to show that I listen and shit. NAILED IT. 

OH MAN NOW MY *FRIENDS* ARE BEING SECRETLY THOUGHTFUL??? dammit there's no end to this 

SAVANNAH’S HERE, YAYYY. WE'RE ABOUT TO BE..... related somehow kinda? Whatever, I’m saying we're sisters now. Yayyy! 

Awwwww Kiara is so excited to see her! And is like “Let me know whichever dumbass messes with you and I will KICK THEIR ASS.” Kiara is the best. ♥

Penelope is like Yeah me too! 

I get the sense Olivia is like “I would like to continue mocking actually, but I can read a room.” Olivia ilu but you are the worst. 

Sidenote, did anyone else get the sense we kept losing people in this chapter? People would pop in and out and I’d be like ‘wait Drake was here?’ or ‘hang on where’s Kiara’. There’s a lotta characters happening. 

Yes Savannah I would LOVE to hang out with you and buy gifts for my friends THANK YOU. Gonna regain thoughtfulness points and have girl talk! nice

Me knowing Bertrand better than anyone except like Maxwell is kinda a sad state of affairs for Bertrand. GET SOME FRIENDS, MAN.

yeah you would THINK [EXTREMELY POINTED GLARING AT MADELINE]

they even reused this background to remind me, I'm not getting over it. 

Please say I’m not getting away with only getting my friends chocolates. That is barely any thoughtfulness points. 

Oh thank goodness, we’re going to go look at neat old things and find better gifts. HOORAY. 

I like that they let you at least choose one neato gift for free. The book with the missing chapter for Liam is such a sweet gift, and if I could only get one, it would be that. My buddy the king deserves a nice gift right now. 

Man, okay. Almost all of the gifts were so nice and thoughtful (The history book for Liam for him to chart his own future, something for Maxwell that makes him look cool but also connects him to his history, something for Drake that teases him a bit but in a way that shows you really know and appreciate him) and then they got to Hana’s and it was like .......wait what. 

Savannah just got here and even she can tell this is nonsense. 

it was like they tried to recreate Drake’s compass for Liam, but didn’t quite nail it. 

sidenote, did Drake ever give that to him? I like to think after the night I turned down Liam, Drake showed up with whiskey and the compass and they both got blasted. 

‘I love you, man!’ ‘no I love YOU!!!’ ‘who even needs her!’ ‘...oh god I do she’s perfecttt uhuhuhhh’ ‘NO YOU DON’T, YOU’RE STRONG AND THE BEST’ yeah kinda like that 

Savannah defending our boys against Olivia! Hell yeah, we’re in this together! Us and our disaster Beaumont men. 

Though at least Maxwell can talk about his feelings without someone piloting him like a secret emotions Jaeger pilot. Unlike some people who went back to wearing their sweatervests I saw you Bertrand 

GODDD SAVANNAH I’M SO SORRY, I FEEL YOU. Sometimes we fall for dumbasses and that’s just our way. 

Though, I really do like the story of Bertrand defending her against anyone who would say she didn’t belong. The brothers have a lot in common. My heart can be warmed. 

...though, this makes Bertrand being a dick to me in the beginning kinda worse by contrast. COME ON, MAN. 

Wait did they use the same NPC twice in one chapter --- ohhh I get it, it’s a plot point. 

Clarence I REALLY hope Zoe dumped you now. :< how dare you. 

I am strangely more offended by the stalking than the trying to shoot me. I am NOT down to be creeped on. Just shoot me already, i’ll get over it. 

OH NO THEY ARE GOING TO ATTACK THE WEDDING why are we surprised. we are all idiots. who left us in charge of things. Gladys would not have been surprised. 

GET SOME POINTS INTO WISDOM OR YOU’RE GONNA LOSE YOUR KINGDOM, DUDES

[scarfarms]

I’m playing “Do Not Read This Journal!” (By Cagri Akyurt) with some friends who moved away and I am just so happy with how this collage turned out

My character is writing in 1970-1971, so I used pages from old books I have for scrapping, survival manual, Army emergency guide, ghosts of California, a Latin reader, a book about Architectural drafting, my usual Autocrat of the Breakfast Table. The newest book I used is from 1974, so it’s pretty close to accurate. Grease pencil to redraw and continue some illustrations I pulled out, things are flappy and layered and rippy yayyy

The journal is supposed to be cursed and Stanley is lonely and almost WANTS the entity within it to come out and keep him company but instead it sends him nightmares of drowning and phone calls from dead friends.

[chubbiestbonnie]

Ohmtoonz-Genghis Khan

A/N; I’m not dead! Yayyy! 

I know I took for-fucking-ever and a day. Sorry!! D:

 I recently got a new job and my hours and sleep schedule have been all janked up. This chapter is super long though, to make up for it! (P.s I haven’t been an airport in 14 years so i probably got stuff wrong whoops.)

Chapter Ten-I don’t want you to get it on

“Um, hi.” Ryan murmured, eyes downcast, as though embarrassed. Luke wasn’t sure why- Ryan looked pretty damn good. He was wearing a somewhat baggy plain black hoodie, with his hands shoved into the front pocket, jeans and some black sneakers. His brown hair was tousled, yet he made the messy look work for him and his beard accented his face nicely, his hazel eyes framed perfectly by his-Oh right.

“Hey Ryan.” Luke began with a mock scowl, fighting to keep the grin from his face when he saw Ryan flush a little. “I believe I said I had wanted to try on your glasses.”

Ryan immediately lost all the tension in his body, meeting Luke’s gaze. “I believe so-however, thats going to have to wait until you guys get to my house because I’m driving and need my glasses to see.”

“Can we stop to get some grub first cause I’m hungry enough to eat an elephant.”  Mark asked, patting his stomach with his free hand.

“Thats cannibalism!” Jon pipped in, looking up from his phone.

“It is not!” Mark replied lightning fast.

Ryan chuckled before looking behind Luke towards the two goofballs. 

“I made you guys dinner, so if you can wait the time it takes to get home, I promise you it’ll be worth it.”

“I’m getting a snack then.” Mark and Jon said in unison.

“Nope, sorry guys you can’t, cause then you’ll spoil the dinner I made for you.” Ryan said apologetically. 

“You’re such a mom Ry.” Justin said affectionately, coming up to the group with a Starbucks cup in hand. Looking over everyone he let out a low whistle before taking another sip from his-ice coffee? Damn now he wanted one, Luke internally grumbled. 

“Damn you guys all look like hell. Hang over wasn’t kind to you huh?”

Luke snorted, his good mood evaporated, and turned to pick up his bags, which he had set down before Ryan came. As he straightened, he said “So, we leaving or...?”

Ryan started, nodding furiously “Y-Yeah, follow me guys.” 

Ryan lead them through the parking lot to his car and everyone put their bags in the trunk before piling in. Luke had stayed behind everyone else on the way to his car and then chose the seat in very back, furthest from Ryan and Justin, who had taken shot gun. Even though he was far from sleepy, he closed his eyes and evened his breathing, hoping that it would keep the others from bothering him, and it did. As they were driven to Ryan’s home, Luke wondered what he had gotten himself into. 

After everyone had gotten inside (Ryan insisted he had enough room for everyone in his house, and it seemed true enough looking at the outside of his home) they were seated down at the dining table and were each served their plate. It was hefty slice of cheesy lasagna along with a rather large piece of garlic bread. Jon and Mark immediately dug in, while Luke himself took his time, drinking first from his lemonade, which Ryan had handed him with a grin and a“It’s not iced tea, it’s lemonade.” The food was delicious, and as everyone devoured their serving, Justin suddenly spoke up. 

“I still can’t believe you made everything from scratch.”

“You made all of this from scratch???” Everyone else exclaimed, Jon almost choking on his mouthful of garlic bread.

Ryan rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Yeah, I like to dabble in cooking.”

“It’s amazing!” Luke said as he finished off his plate, pushing it away from him slightly. “I don’t know if I can eat another bite.”

Ryan looked down at his plate, slightly saddened. “So no dessert then?”

“Dessert?!?” Everyone yelped out in excitement.

 “Sign me the hell up.” Mark proclaimed

Ryan grinned, his eyes twinkling and quickly retrieved with a chocolate cake, and give everyone a slice. 

“Chocolate cake with raspberry filling.” He explained. 

“He also made this from scratch.” Justin piped in, side eyeing Luke as he added “He’d make the perfect boyfriend.” 

Ryan chuckled, not noticing the dig at Luke “Sure, sure- you just say that because you hate cooking.” 

Justin mock gasped and began to playfully bicker with Ryan. Luke just tuned them out and mulled over the revelation that Justin seemed very much aware of his feelings for Ryan and very much willing to exploit them. Luke’s body seemed as though it was on autopilot the rest of the meal. 

After everyone had finished eating, they played Uno, Cards Against Humanity, What do you meme and several rounds of Injustice 2 against each other, taking turns on who versed who. Luke beat Justin every time they versed in Injustice 2, no exceptions. After the third time of being destroyed, Justin sighed and pushed away his controller, passing it to Ryan. 

“I guess you really did beat my ass at Injustice. Congrats man.”

Luke snorted “I play this game too much with Jon, is all.”

Jon laughed as Mark stepped around him to take Luke’s controller. “Yeah, you have no idea how many times I’ve made him smash his controller when he rage quit.”

Luke rolled his eyes and cuffed Jon on the back of the head “Shut the fuck up.” He grunted, no real heat in his voice. 

“Make me bitch.” 

In a single swift move Luke lunged from his laid back position on the couch over to Jon, effortlessly holding him in a headlock. 

“Oh my godd!” Jon cried, obviously taken by surprise. But no matter how much he squirmed, he couldn’t free himself and Luke wouldn’t let go. Right before Luke could taunt him about revenge for the shower thing that morning, his phone rang. Immediately he let go and answered the phone, ignoring Jon’s dramatic gasps for air. 

“Helllo?”

“Luke, thank god-”

“Ma? Wait hold on-what’s wrong?” He said, immediately shooting up and leaving the room, ignoring everyone's questions. 

“It’s Princess, somethings wrong. She got out for a little while when I came by to check on her and I think a animal may have got her. We’re taking her to the vet. I’ll keep you updated.”

“I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Alright, love you son.”

“Love you too.”

Hanging up the phone and running his hand through his hair, he sighed loudly. Guess it was time for him to go home-he didn’t want to, especially since he had just gotten there a couple hours ago, but Princess was his fur baby and he couldn’t not go see what was wrong. It had to be serious for his mothers voice to be so grim. Mind plagued with anxiety he stalked back into the living room. 

“Luke what’s wrong?” Jon asked, brows furrowed “What did Ma want?”

“Its Princess, something is wrong and she’s being rushed to the vet.” Luke turned and looked at everyone, from Jon and Justin siting on the couch, to Mark standing next to the paused match on the tv, controller forgotten in his hand. He looked at Ryan last, who was holding Buddy in his arms. 

“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry, I know I just got here but-”

“Its fine-just go Luke, we understand.” Mark reassured him, eyes kind. 

“Yeah- I got you another flight back home but it ain’t leaving for another couple hours, I’m sorry.” Jon said, his eyes staring intensely at Luke, knowing well how he reacted under stress,

Luke sat down roughly, eyes glassy. “Yeah ok, thank you man, owe you one.” He muttered before lapsing into silence. Ryan reached his hand out to touch Luke’s shoulder but before he could, Buddy started barking. 

“Whats up Buddy? What do you want?”

The small dog barked once more before running to the door, pacing back and firth in front of it. 

“You wanna go out?” Ryan asked the small dog before going over to the door and grabbing a leash. Hooking it onto an excited  Buddy’s collar he turned to everyone.

“Sorry, seems like this little brat wants to go out. That ok?” Ryan said with an affectionate scowl down at his dog. Everyone, save for Luke, who was still glassy eyed, said it was fine. Jon glanced at his brother from another mother and said loudly,

“Oh you want Luke to go with you? Thats fair. Promise we won’t fuck shit up.”

Luke started before looking up at Jon, who looked at him with mock annoyance.

“Ryan wants you to go with him to walk Buddy. Go, ya bitch, don’t just sit there.”

To anyone who didn’t know the pair, it would seem like Jon was being harsh on Luke, but Mark and Ryan clearly saw that Jon’s eyes were fiercely protective and affectionate, the tense line of his mouth showing the depth of his concern for his best friend. 

Luke slowly rose from the couch and slipped on his shoes, going towards Ryan, who had been talking to Justin in a low undertone. Luke only caught a “-stop being such a worrywart, we’ll be fine” coming from Justin before Ryan spotted him and asked 

“You ready to go?”

Luke nodded and out they went. “So where are we going?” he asked after several beats of silence. 

“Probably the nearby park, I think Buddy just wanted to be outside for a while.” Ryan replied. Luke nodded and let himself be lead by Ryan, still lost in his thoughts. They lapsed into a comfortable silence after that, something Luke was grateful for. 

True to his word, Ryan was going through the entrance of the park, lit by several dozen street lamps. Sitting down at a particularly well lit bench, Ryan undid the clasp and let Buddy run free. 

“Now don’t you dare stray too far, you got it?” He sternly reminded his dog

Luke sat down next to Ryan, still silent. “You still wanna try my glasses?” Ryan asked suddenly. 

“S-Sure.” Luke replied, hating his stutter- hating how his voice was faint and unsure. He was the asshole of the group, the rage quit guy, the badass, the hard nut to crack, the tough guy. He was the invincible, don’t give a flying fuck guy. But Princess had been with him since she was a kitten, just barely fitting in his hands, and to think of anything hurting her broke something in him, much like the time Jon had gotten himself in the hospital back when they were younger. 

While Luke was lost in thought once more, Ryan had taken his glasses off and immediately cursed. “I can’t see shit.” 

“Well yeah, thats why you wear glasses in the first place.” Luke quipped halfheartedly, taking the gasses from Ryan and slipping them on before gasping out loud. 

“Holy fuck I can’t see anything, my eyes are so damn blurry.” He cried, his eyes watering and worsening the blurriness. 

Ryan chuckled beside him, still rubbing his eyes. “What did you-?”

“Are you and Justin dating?” Luke interrupted, immediately regretting it as Ryan stiffed, his gaze shooting up to look at him. 

“What?”

“A-Are you and Justin a thing? Feels like he might have a crush on you.” Luke said nonchalantly, or so he hoped. Ryan just blinked at him for a moment before bursting into deep belly laughter. 

“Nah, we’ve known each other since we were younger, so we’re more like brothers than anything- It would be like you and Jon dating, if you were into dudes, Mr.Straight-As-A-Board.”

“I’m actually more like ‘Straight as spaghetti’.” At Ryan's (blurry) bewilderment Luke huffed “I’m fucking Bi you dork.”

“You’re-?”

“Yeah, not the best way to come out to you I guess, but yeah. It’s not something I tend to talk about a lot; and yeah Jon and Mark already know. Hell, I’m pretty sure Jon saw it before I did way back when-”

His tangent was (thankfully) cut off by Ryan. “I’m Pans.” Luke grinned, still wearing Ryan’s glasses. “I kinda guessed, you made my gaydar go off like a damn Christmas tree every time you spoke.”

“Oh shut the fuck up.” 

The two men bickered, and Luke’s mood was lightened for a little while as he spoke to the man he had fallen in love with. As they headed back, Luke reluctantly reached up to take off Ryan's glasses, and handed back to their owner. Walking back together side by side they told each other stupid jokes, each getting more and more ridiculous. Finally arriving back into Ryan’s home, Ryan took off Buddy’s leash and then they went back into the living room where the boys where watching South Park. They came in just as Jon exclaimed “Oh my god they killed Kenny! You bastards!” With Stan and  Kyle. 

Mark was the first to notice their return. “Hey you guys, whats up?.” Justin and Jon both turned, the latter grinning widely and saying “ Oh hey Luke you’re just in time, guess what, your flight got moved up- its in an hour now, so get your shit together were going to the airport.” 

In an instant Luke’s light mood vanished and he quickly gathered his things, out the door faster than anyone else even though he was the only one with luggage. The ride to the airport was mostly silent, save for the music blasting through the stereo. Wandering through the airport to the right spot took up some time, and so now it was half an hour of waiting. Luke felt himself almost vibrating with energy, ready to snap at any moment like a rubber band that’s been stretched out too far. he has been so lost in himself that when Ryan’s gentle hand touched his shoulder he flinched violently. 

“Hey now, its ok. You’re going to be fine Luke. More importantly, so will Princess.” Ryan murmured quietly. “Just focus on my voice ok? Try to calm down, you only have ten more minutes, it’ll be fine.” He went on to tell Luke about he made dinner, the recipe and the ingredients. As he spoke, Luke felt himself calm down, grounded back into reality. His love for his friend grew even more, and Luke fondly looked up into Ryan’s eyes. 

“You’ve got like three minutes, we should get a move on. The boys are back from wherever the hell they went.” 

Luke hadn’t even noticed they had left. As they neared his destination, Luke felt the anxious energy come back, curling vengefully in his stomach. Nobody seemed to notice.

“Flight 158 is ready, will all passengers for flight 158 approach the terminal and board.” 

Luke turned to his friends, all of which were smiling encouragingly at him. “Call me after you talk to Ma.” Jon said. 

“Yeah, shoot me a text whenever you can man.” Mark added. 

“Everything is going to be fine, you’ll see” Ryan said comfortingly as the announcer said “Last call for 158, last call for flight 158. Please approach the terminal now.” 

Luke felt all the energy suddenly snap in that instant, and he gazed deep into Ryan’s eyes. Before he knew what he was doing he grabbed Ryan’s face and kissed him feverishly, desperately. Pulling away as suddenly as he had leaned forward, he finally let loose the secret that had been crushing him for weeks. 

“I love you.”

Luke rushed down the terminal without a single glance back. What had he done?

[amsimaria]

Bittersweet

» Part two

She likes the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kissing in the corridor But quick to tell her goodbye

Author: amsimaria Word count: 7,3K Feature: Jimin x Reader (mentions of other BTS members) Genre: Angst/Slight smut (Rated M) Warnings: Slight violence, Mentions of sexual acts, Punk Jimin, Depression, Swearing, Addiction, Soft drugs use, Smut, (Jimin’s a kind of a Jerk in this part).  

‘’Are you eating well? I will send your uncle to check on you if you keep ignoring my calls (Y/N), I’m serious.

‘’No mom, i’m fine.’’ You whine to your mother who’s on the other end of the phone line, while you’re kicking the refrigerator door shut with the backside of your heel.

‘’Alright, well let me know if you need anything ok? If you don’t feel good you can always call your uncle, he will immediately pick you up if something is wrong.’’

“Yes mom i will, don’t worry.’’ You promise, before saying a quick ‘’love you’’ and hanging up.

It had been 9 days since the night of the party and you couldn’t get yourself to stop thinking about the rush you felt kissing Jimin that night. You were so busy hating yourself these last couple of years, that you had almost forgotten how it felt to be loved, to be under someones touch, even if it was only for a brief moment in time. Deep down you knew Jimin’s interest in you was purely sexual, but even that was enough to make you feel like a proper teenage girl again. Although you felt alive for the first time in forever, you knew you had to stay away from Jimin. He practically had the word ‘’criminal’’ written on his forehead and you didn’t want to be involved with someone like that, or worse, to fall for his charms like one of his slutty booty calls and get thrown away like garbage.  

When you look at your phone after hanging up on your mom, you notice you’d received two messages from your friend.

[Naomi 20:11] Hey boo, Taehyung texted me, asking if i wanted to come to some fight match as his ‘’date’’ lol. I kinda want to go but not alone, you wanna come with?]

[Naomi 20:15] U there?]

[You 20:18] Hey, yeah. Uhh.. I don’t know that sounds kinda weird naom]

[You 20:18] Was on the phone with my mom]

[You 20:20] What kind of fight match? Like an illegal one or something?]

[Naomi 20:22] Dunno, he didn’t really get into detail, just something about a fight match]

[You 20:22] hmm.. I don’t know man, It all sounds a little underground-ish to me]

[Naomi 20:23] Don’t you want to see that guy again.. The one you told me about you’d kissed?]

Your breath hitches in the back of your throat when the image of Jimin’s face comes ghosting from your memory. Blinking a few times to lose the image and clear your head, you try to not let the memory distract you from your intuition and common sense.

[Naomi 20:25] Just come with me, it’ll be fun i promise :)))]

[Naomi 20:25] Fucking Josh posted a picture with some skank sitting in the passenger seat of his car on Facebook :s]

[Naomi 20:25] I’m so done with that asshole]

[20:28] You have 1 missed call from Naomi]

[You 20:31] Alright, when?]

[Naomi 20:32] Yayyy you won’t regret it :)))))]

[Naomi 20:32] Saturday 11 pm. We’ll pick you up from your home k?]

[You 20:33] K xx]

You didn’t feel good about this at all, and you knew it was a bad idea, but for some reason you really wanted to see Jimin again.

Two days later.

‘’Hurry up (Y/N), I told Taehyung we’d be down in 5 minutes.’’ Naomi huffs impatiently

‘’Yeah yeah, I’m coming Jesus’’ You reply, annoyed. ‘’Can’t I be the one that’s late for once?’’

After sliding on your grey coat, you flick the light switch and start locking your apartment door behind you. Once down, your eyes widen at the sight of the shiny and expensive looking big black Mercedes Benz in front of you.

‘’Get in!’’ Naomi yells, motioning her head to the backseat.

You hesitate for a second before sliding into backside.

‘’Nice.. Car..’’ You say while darting your eyes around.

‘’Thanks’’ Taehyung said, his voice deep and even.

‘’I didn’t expect.. a car like this from someone living in the same apartment building as Naomi’’

‘’(Y/N)!’’ Naomi shouts angrily, frowning at you from over her shoulder.

Taehyung chuckled. ’’Gotta keep a low profile, right?’’ He turns his head over his shoulder, and winks at you, curling one corner of his mouth into a devious smile before turning the steering wheel with one swift motion. Returning him with a sheepish smile, you nervously play with you fingers.

Silence fills the car for a few moments before Taehyung starts speaking again. ‘’So eh, you’re (Y/N) right?’’ He remarks, looking at you through his rear-view mirror. You nod. ‘’ One of my friends talked about you the other night’’

‘’Oh really, who?’’ You gulped, pretending like you had no clue who it could’ve been.

He stayed silent for a full 3 seconds before continuing.

‘’Yeah.. he uh, he said you two got pretty close at the party and that he wanted to get to know you a little better,’’

Being your skeptical self, you always found yourself filling things in for people before you even knew what they actually meant by what they said. You knew what he meant by ‘’He wants to get to know you a little better’’, Jimin wanted to fuck you, and you hated how boys like them always acted like they were genuinely interested when all they wanted was a quick fuck.

Your thoughts are then interrupted by Taehyung’s deep voice ‘’His name is Jungkook, but you probably don’t remember that.’’ He continued.

‘’But, you’ll see him at the match anyway.’’  

The name Jungkook made you instantly winch. Why wasn’t it Jimin who asked for you? You didn’t want Jungkook’s attention, he was a douche and he almost took advantage of you while you were in your drunken state. The last tiny bit of motivation you actually had for going to that match, had all suddenly vanished and you sunk into your seat feeling disappointed.

‘’I gotta swing by a friend to pick him up before we go to the match, k?’’ Taehyung announces absently.  

‘’Sure’’ Naomi nodded, her eyes sparkling with adoration.

Taehyung was intimidating, you felt like he could scare off a bear if he intended to. You didn’t like him. The last time you’d seen him, you were drunk, and you liked everyone while being in your drunk-state. You were fully aware that these guys were bad news, and you felt stupid for thinking someone like Jimin would be genuinely interested in you, and you mentally cursed yourself for letting your heartbroken friend talk you into something like this. Of course she didn’t notice his shady side, the guy was smooth and looked like a freaking model, it would only be a matter of time before he dumped her like a piece of shit like the last girl.

Pulling over, Taehyung commands you two to wait for him while he goes out to get his friend. Your eyes follow his steps while he walks over to the house on the opposite side of the street you were parked on.

‘’I really like him (Y/N).’’ Naomi said, her voice sounding buttery.

Not wanting to be the usual party pooper, you simply just smile at her in response.

A few minutes later you hear a noise, almost high pitched like that of a woman, coming from the house. And when you dart your eyes towards the front door of the house you see Taehyung making his way out, doing a lazy sprint back to the car.

‘’He’ll be out in a sec’’ Taehyung said, sounding a little out of breath and when you follow his movement with your eyes, you notice him sneaking his hands towards Naomi’s thigh.

Rolling your eyes at the sight, you turn your gaze back to the house. Almost 15 seconds later you notice the front door flying open and see a boy wearing a snapback getting out of the house followed by an older woman. You roll your window open in the hope that you would hear some off what they were saying.

‘’Hoseok-ssi, where are you going!??’’ The woman desperately yelled after him.

“Out’’ He calmly replied, putting his jacket on while holding a cigaret in between his lips.

“You will regret ruining your life when you’re the same age as me, Jung Hoseok!’’ The woman, who seemed to be his mother yelled out of breath. ‘’I refuse to wait in fear every night! Seeing my son come home with a beat up face every night, praying my son would come home alive and not end up dead like his father!,  Do you hear me!? I refuse to, Jung Hoseok!!’’ The woman yelled after him, her hands resting on her thighs from exhaustion.  

Poor woman, you thought. How bad could these boys live their lives? Yeah, you saw Jimin holding a gun in his hand the other night, but a lot of people owned a gun in the big city, you didn’t think much of it as he used it just as a threat. Was it perhaps the lack of knowledge about the ‘’underworld’’ that made you too naive to see you were with bad people? What if Jimin was some kind of mercenary.. You almost wanted to punch yourself in the face for getting into the car without thinking twice about this.

‘’aye, how u doing bro?’’ The boy said, opening the back door of the car and greeting Taehyung by slapping him on his shoulder like nothing happened.

You felt his eyes linger on you but you didn’t return his gaze and kept staring at the back of Naomi’s chair.

‘’Ahh V, you brought me a gift, how nice of you’’ Hoseok grins, his eyes lingering on you.

You still didn’t look at him, instead you turn your head towards the window.

And as Taehyung takes off, you feel your stomach turn at the thought of being surrounded by guys like these for a full night.

‘’Don’t get too excited now, the fight hasn’t even started.’’ Taehyung says, making Hoseok laugh in response.

‘’I don’t bite you know, you can talk’’ Hoseok continued, his voice playful.

You turn your face towards him disgust, ‘’I’m not a thing, you know’’ You snort, while narrowing your eyes at him.

‘’I’m was only kidding babe’’ Hoseok winks, returning your hostility with a warm smile.

You awkwardly smile back and continue looking out of the window. Watching the sight of the urban neighborhood passing, you wonder how many more broken homes you passed as Taehyung drove through the abandoned streets. You came from a perfect family, at least that’s what everyone around you thought. When the blinds came down, your father often had his hand raised at you over something as small as coming home 5 minutes late, or having a stain at your brand new white skirt. Your mother always told you it was because they loved you, and to a child those words meant truth, but growing up you came to know your upbringing was everything but healthy, you needed to make your own mistakes and you needed to get away from your parents.

Arriving at a massive parking lot with dim street lighting, Taehyung slows down and finds a spot near a big building that looked like some kind of indoor basketball arena.

Getting out, Taehyung motions you and Naomi to follow him and Hoseok towards the entrance.

When you enter the giant building, you instantly hear loud howling by what seemed to be a lot of people.

‘’Come on kiddo, u gotta keep up with the big boys now,’’ Hoseok smiles, leading you towards the entrance of a big room. Entering, you see what could be a few hundred people, screaming and cheering towards a big ring in the middle surrounded by a cage. Following a pad between benches and tables, you see Taehyung stopping a few feet further at a table that had at least twelve people sitting at it, and those were the guys that actually sat in a chair, the rest were girls in skimpy outfits standing and giggling around them.

‘’Aye V, good to see you man!’’ a guy wearing a suit stands up and hugs Taehyung, then turns towards Hoseok, ‘’You ready, J?’’

‘’I was born ready, fam’’ Hoseok grins while side-hugging the guy.

‘’Alright, get changed. You’re up soon and I got a lot of money betting on you son.’’ The guy says, slapping Hoseok’s arm.

‘’Do all these guys have one syllable nicknames?’’ You joke to Naomi who’s staring at Taehyung with mass adoration.

‘’What?’’ She answers seconds later

‘’Never mind’’ You mutter annoyed

‘’And who are these two beautiful ladies?’’ the guy asks Taehyung with a smirk, his eyes on you and Naomi.

‘’I’m Naomi, and this is my friend (Y/N)’’ Naomi greets him excitedly, wearing a big smile on her face.

‘’You seem like good company’’ The guy winks ‘’My name is Namjoon, but the boys call me Monie Jones.’’ He chuckled, while taking Naomi’s hand in his.

When your eyes wander towards the faces of the guys sitting at the table, you notice Jungkook staring you down with his big brown eyes. You awkwardly smile at him, and he gets up and starts walking towards you.

‘’Come and sit in my chair’’ He says, while taking your hand and leading you towards his empty chair.

‘’But.. Where do you sit?’’ You stutter, looking around at the full table.

‘’They are getting some extra chairs right now, don’t worry’’ He reassures while holding his chair out for you.

Sitting down, you look around to see if Jimin was anywhere near you. You wondered if he’d already forgotten you after that night at the party. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t thinking about him almost everyday since the party. It was all too clear - the way his fingers felt like cotton against the soft skin of your neck. The feeling of the thick metal from his silver thumb ring gripping around your tender flesh. His full pink lips skillfully sucking on yours. The way he held all the power, even though you were the one kissing him first. Something about his rawness had you immensely drawn to him. You couldn’t figure out if you felt happy having these feelings or sad about the fact that it would never work, and these feelings would eventually turn into sadness.

‘’Are you from here?’’ Jungkook asks, waking you up from your daydream.

‘’No, uh.. I moved here 2 years ago’’ You reply, giving him a sheepish smile before turning your head back to crowd, and continue scanning faces.

‘’You want a hit?’’ Jungkook asks while holding something in front of you. Blinking a few times in confusion, your gaze lowers towards his hand and find a joint placed in between his thumb and index finger.

‘’W-what is that?’’ You almost stutter. Your question was obviously rhetorical, but you needed some time to come up with the right answer, as he offered it so casually.

‘’It’s a blunt, silly’’ Jungkook chuckles. The sound of his boyish honey laugh makes your stomach tighten, and your intimate moment with him suddenly makes it’s way back into your head.

‘’Oh, no thank you. I’ve never done it’’ You shake your head nervously

‘’First time for everything right?’’ Jungkook grins, still looking in your eyes as he lights the joint in his hand with a lighter.

‘’Yeah I know.. Maybe another time’’ You reply, forcing a kind smile

When the overpowering low sound of the referee’s voice shouting names and rules catches your attention, you turn your head back towards the ring.

Moving around in your seat to get a better view of what was going on in the cage, you see Hoseok, bouncing around bare chested in red shorts in front of his opponent. You’re a bit shocked by his hands, which were only covered in a thing white material, only covering some of his wrist and knuckles.  Swallowing hard, you mentally prepared yourself for the bloodbath that was coming.

As his opponent threw the first punch, you couldn’t believe how fast Hoseok dodged his swing. He immediately jumped up on his opponent by punching him one after another. He was on fire, and for some reason you felt excitement for the first time watching something so brutal. A few minutes of dodges and punches passed, and Hoseok had his bloodied opponent flat out on the floor, making him tap out to stop the suffering. You felt your body flood with adrenaline and you hoped he would have another match after this one, as his state was pretty close to being absolutely fine. Not so long after the referee announced the next fight, and Hoseok seemed more ready than ever.

Looking around instinctively, your eyes stop at a familiar face sitting a few tables further. Your whole body heats up seeing Jimin sit so close to you. You could recognize that face from a million miles away, as your memory never lost the image of his unique features. His blonde hair was parted in the middle, which was probably created by the endless finger stroking you saw him do all the other times you’d seen him, and you wondered how he always managed to look so effortlessly good with the edgy lifestyle he had. He was sitting at a chair close to the cage, legs spread with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands together in a fist, resting his mouth against them. His face looked dangerously focused, and it seemed like no one would even dare to draw his attention away from the fight, as he would probably shoot them right there on the spot. You figured Hoseok must’ve been a good friend of him.

‘’Are you coming with us after the fight?’’ Jungkook suddenly asks, making you turn around in surprise.

‘’Uhh.. To where?’’ You ask, turning your head in a 45 degree angle, but still keeping your eyes and thoughts on Jimin.

‘’Were going to Namjoon’s house, he’s the guy that greeted you first when you came here.’’ He explains.

You didn’t really feel like going, but for some reason you really wanted to get close to Jimin again, and if going to some stranger’s house was the sacrifice you had to make, you were ready to do it.

Turning your attention back to Jungkook, you fully turn around to see if he had any wrong intentions lacing his words, ’’Uhm.. Who’s coming?’’ You ask, trying to make it sound as casually as you could.

‘’Just some guys you probably don’t know. Oh, and Taehyung, and probably your friend.’’

‘’I don’t know if I should come. I’m a little tired to be honest’’ You modestly smile.

‘’Oh come on It’ll be fun. I want to get to know you.’’ Jungkook smiles. Looking in his eyes, he seemed oddly sincere, and that after he’d almost taken advantage of you in your drunken state. But even if Jungkook came over as the most sincere person in the world, you still wouldn’t trust him one bit. You knew you were playing a dangerous game, but you just wanted Jimin’s attention. And a little flirting in front of Jimin wouldn’t hurt right?

‘’mm, maybe. I’ll think about it ok?’’ You answer playfully.

Looking to your right at the spot Jimin was sitting, a lump appears in the back of your throat when you see a girl sitting down Jimin’s lap. You heard Jungkook say something, but you couldn’t think clear, as your attention was fully on Jimin and the skank pawing at his shirt.

As you suddenly hear the whole crowd yell in victory, you see Jimin take one of her legs over his lap, straddling her against him and lifting her up while holding her with one hand against him as he proudly howled Hoseok’s name in his other. You swallowed arduously as you watched him bounce her up and down his crotch joyfully. You felt sick. How could you let yourself have these feelings for a guy like him? You wanted to be angry at him, but you knew you were the only one to blame, as you should’ve known he would fool around with girls without caring if he’d hurt them. Why did you let yourself get feelings for someone like him? Why couldn’t it be your nice neighbour, who always brought you your mail because it seemed like he wanted a reason to talk to you.

‘’Are you alright?’’ You hear Jungkook’s voice breaking you from your thoughts and you turn back nervously.

‘’Yeah.. Yes, why would you ask that?’’ You reply defensively, your words rushed.

‘’Because you’ve been staring in silence for the past 2 minutes’’

‘’Oh, well I’m fine and I would love to come’’ You smile, forcefully happy.

‘’Alright, cool’’ Jungkook smiles while holding his hand out for you. ‘’Fights over. Let’s go’’

‘’Ww-wha? Now?’’ You stutter, looking around to see if Jimin was still in your sight. He was gone, and so was Naomi. You suddenly start feeling nervous and uncomfortable. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you notice a new message from your friend.

[Naomi:] Tae and I went to the parking lot early, call me when the fight’s over and I’ll come and get you. Stay with Jungkook xx ]

Would Jimin be there as well? That question ghosted your mind and you couldn’t stop thinking about him fooling around with that girl somewhere.

‘’Let’s go before everyone storms out at the same time’’ Jungkook commands, pulling you behind him.

So many thoughts rushed through your head and you just felt like going home and popping 2 sleeping pills down your throat, before withdrawing to your bed. You hated not having control over the situations you were in. And especially not having control over the feelings you had. Taking anti depressants or sleeping pills, made you feel numb and even lifeless sometimes, but feeling emotionless was like going to your happy place. It made you feel safe.

As you follow Jungkook outside, you feel your heart rate speeding up. And in your case that mostly meant that an anxiety attack was coming up. You desperately try to calm your breathing by counting the seconds the air filled your lungs through your nose, but your vision was already becoming blurry from the nausea. Heat stroke after heat stroke came over you and you felt your fingers lightly tremble.

You wanted your sleeping pills. No, you needed your sleeping pills. Looking around anxiously, you see a guy a bit further, holding a joint in his hand and brining it up to his mouth.

Maybe weed could help prevent your attack. You start to frantically tuck on Jungkook’s sleeve and ask him if you could have that hit now, sounding rushed and nervous. Looking back at you with one eyebrow raised, he pauses a few moments before putting his hands in his pockets in attempt to get out his joint for you.

‘’It’s strong so don’t suck too hard’’ Jungkook says grinning, while holding his joint out for you. He obviously had a double meaning by what he said, but you didn’t feel like digging into what he was implying, as your real enemy was the upcoming anxiety attack.

Tasting the overpowering acidity of the marijuana, the smoke shoots it’s way out of your throat almost as fast as it made it’s way in. Coughing heavily, Jungkook starts chuckling at the sight of you struggling. ‘’’ You look like stoned little puppy’’ He laughs, looking at your teary eyes. ‘’Let’s go to Namjoon. I’ll keep you cozy and warm once we’re inside’’ He smiles. Taking the joint and taking your hand, he starts walking towards the parking lot. Feeling woozy, you start following him without questioning if you really wanted to go.

Looking around, you notice Jimin standing a few feet further, laughing and joking around with some guys - including Hoseok, and some giggly girls hanging around them. The girl he was with inside was also there. She sat on the hood of a car with her bare legs spread and a standing Jimin leaning with his back in between them, while holding a can of beer in his right hand. As she needly paws at his shirt, Jimin turns around, and starts smirking to her. You see him moving his lips, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying, as the noise made it impossible. Next, he throws his empty beer can on the ground, and steps his doc martens on the bumper of the car and climbs in-between her legs. He then looks back at the guys, who are laughing and cheering him on, and says something to them you couldn’t hear. As he looks back to her with a mischievous grin on his face, he starts grinding his hips in between her legs. His crotch grinding hers so smoothly, it genuinely looked like he was fucking her on the hood of the car. Feeling ten things at once, your knees loose their strength, and before they hit could the ground, Jungkook catches you and pulls you up.

‘’Wow, are you ok?’’ Jungkook asks surprised.

‘’I want to go home. I don’t feel well’’ You mutter, your voice low in volume, as you were mostly talking to yourself.

‘’Really? You don’t want to come with me?’’ Jungkook asks confused.

‘’Take me to Naomi, please’’ You plead, while ignoring his question.

Nodding, Jungkook lifts you up and carries you towards Taehyung’s car.

When you look back to see if Jimin was still grinding that girl, you see him standing next to Hoseok. And as you watch him a little too long, his eyes eventually lock with yours and you see the confusion and surprise wash over his face. Looking away instantly, you cursed yourself for still wanting to look at him after seeing that disgusting dry-hump scene.

Approaching Taehyung’s car, you see Naomi’s Facial expression change into fear and she immediately starts running towards you.

‘’What the fuck? What happened?’’ She asks concerned. Her voice laced with slight anger. Her gaze darting from yours to Jungkook’s frantically. ‘’What the fuck did you do to her!?’’ She starts shouting, and shoving Jungkook’s arm. Putting you down slowly, Jungkook’s expression changes into anger and you feel a storm coming up. ‘’I didn’t do anything? Why the fuck are you assuming I did something?’’ Jungkook starts shouting back, his eyebrows scrunched together.

‘’I’mm..  fff-fine I just nn.. to go hom-’ You try to calm Naomi, and tell her Jungkook didn’t do anything, but you couldn’t even talk clearly, as your vision faded and your head started spinning.

‘’What did you do to her? Did you drug her?!!’’ Naomi’s face is beat red.

Looking at the car through hooded lids, you see Taehyung jumping out of the driver’s seat with a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth. He swiftly pulls Naomi up and carries her away from a heavy breathing Jungkook without saying a word. ‘’She’s on medication you asshole!’’ She shouts, while struggling to get out of Taehyung’s grip. But Taehyung didn’t let go and nodded to someone behind you.

When you clumsily try to keep yourself steady to the side of the car, you suddenly feel two warm hands grabbing your armpits and keeping you steady on your feet. The scent of the oh-so familiar musky cologne could only mean one thing. And as you’re being swung around by the two strong arms, you see the face that came with the memory of the scent of that strong cologne. Jimin.

Every time his face appeared in front of your eyes, your feeling instantly told you would be safe. But what became all too clear after all those times seeing him, was that there was a price that came with feeling safe around something other than medication. The feelings that originated from it and the dependency you had developed by thinking about him day and night. The ecstatic feeling you got from thinking about him filled the emptiness and loneliness you struggled with day and night, of never having received actual physical love from someone. But it wouldn’t matter how many times Jimin saved you from the scary outside world, he could never safe you from you. Or from him. Jimin brought the danger. Jimin was the danger. The second Jimin stepped into your life, your problems had also made their way back into your life. Jimin wasn’t any different from your addiction to medication, he was a whole new addiction. An even more addictive and dangerous one.

‘’Are you alright? ’’ He asks, sounding concerned. The fuck did you do to her, Jungkook?’’ He shouts angrily. ‘’And why the fuck are you even here? huh?’’ He then turns towards you, eyebrows scrunched together furiously.

‘’Nothing, I gave a her hit and she collapsed man’’ Jungkook replies, holding his hands next to his head to display his innocence.

‘’Who’s driving you home?’’ Jimin asks serious.

Jungkook motions to Taehyung and Naomi, and Jimin turns his gaze back to yours.

‘’We were going to Namjoon, bro’’ Jungkook adds

‘’No way, you ain’t taking her there.’’ Jimin shoots towards Jungkook.

Breathing heavily, you try to push him away from you, but he doesn’t move. Jimin wasn’t very tall, but boy was he strong.

‘’Let go of me!!!’’ You scream looking him into his eyes, your eyelids hanging from dizziness. ‘’I am going there! who the hell are you to tell me where to go?!’’ You shout to Jimin.

‘’Why?’’ He chuckled, catching you every time you almost sink to your feet.

‘’Because I want to! and don’t touch me!’’ You scoff, pushing him. This time, your push is a lot harder and he does a step back in surprise. His face dropping at your seriousness.. ‘’Besides, don’t you have some whore to fuck?’’ You sneer, the words escaped your mouth before you could stop them and you quickly turn your face away from embarrassment.

Jimin starts laughing and narrows his eyes at you, ’’You think my boy Jungkook wasn’t planning on doing that to you?’’ Jimin smirks presumptuous.

As he takes a step towards you, you instantly winch at his intimidating presence. ‘’Do you think you could handle that hm? He asks, while cocking his head to the end of his question. As you try to back up a step, you bump your back into the side of Taehyung’s car. ‘’Huh? Tell me, can you handle being fucked by the big boys?’’  Jimin asks, taking another step closer to you, and resting his hand beside your head on the roof of the car. You freeze. Looking at him with teary eyes you stay silent. And after a few seconds of silence, Jimin takes his hand off the car and takes a step back. ‘’You don’t belong here.’’ Jimin then concludes. ‘’You’re an asshole’’ Your voice cracked.

‘’Yeah, yeah I know. come on I’ll drive you home’’ Jimin says, taking your hand and leading you behind him after he says something to Taehyung through Naomi’s open window. Making Taehyung calmly nod in response and drive off.

Arriving at his car he opens the door for you and you carefully slip in the passenger seat. Avoiding his gaze, you keep your eyes down and away from his.

‘’Jimin!?’’ A girl’s yell makes you abruptly turn year head and search for a face. ’’Jimin, where are you going? Aren’t you celebrating with Hobi and the boys tonight?’’ You hear the same voice ask, this time you see a girl approaching Jimin, who was standing beside your closed door. It was the same girl Jimin dry humped against the hood of a car when you were walking out with Jungkook.

With shoulder length, grey-ish colored hair and big brown playful eyes, she practically bounced towards Jimin in her 6 inch platforms.

Jimin turns around, and lowers his head to your window. ‘’Be right back, k?’’ He smiles warmly. Even though you were practically boiling inside, you shrug in response. Trying to make it come over like you didn’t care. ‘’Sure’’

As Jimin walks over to the girl, she immediately lifts her bare leg against his hip, and starts whining for him to come with her and the others, while tucking onto his hoody.

‘’I can’t I gotta take someone home first. I’ll call you, k?’’ Jimin, replies sounding uninterested. You wondered why girls kept chasing him even after he treated them like trash.

‘’Jimin, I’m horny please come with me.’’ You hear the girl pant.

Looking at them in total disgust, you see Jimin pulling her closer onto his crotch, and whisper something into her ear, making her start giggling. Letting go of her, he starts walking towards the driver’s side of the car and get in.

‘’Where do you live?’’ He asks, looking at you.

‘’Central’’ You answer emotionless, not meeting his gaze.

After telling him your full address, a few minutes of silence fills the space between you two, as your head is turned towards your window.

‘’Do you uh.. Do you have some kind of eating disorder or something?’’ He then asks.

You don’t answer. You didn’t feel like talking to him anymore. You hated yourself for falling for someone like Jimin. You’d always thought that even though your whole personality was based on trauma’s and problematic experiences, your lack of thrust for people would somehow protect you from people like Jimin.

‘’With you fainting and all that’’ He adds, still trying to get you to talk to him.

‘’No.’’ You simply answer, still keeping your head turned towards the window.

After another 10 minutes of bleak silence Jimin starts speaking again. ‘’I’m sorry about what I said to you back there. I shouldn’t have said that to you.’’ His husky voice sounded sincere, but you didn’t want to offer him any kind of kindness whatsoever, so you you kept quiet.

“I just didn’t want you to go with them, they will take advantage of you.’’ He explains, vulnerability lacing his voice.

‘’Oh, like you just did back there?’’ You shoot back, looking at him repulsively.

He stays quiet for a full 30 seconds while keeping his eyes on the road. ‘’I wouldn’t do that to you’’ He finally replies

‘’Well I must be pretty special then’’ You laugh sarcastically

Sighing in response Jimin keeps quiet again.

As you look to your front, you notice drops of rain landing on the windshield of the car and it doesn’t take long for it to start pouring down like a waterfall.

Arriving at your place, you take your stuff and open the door without looking back at him. But when you want to get out, you feel Jimin’s hand grabbing you by your wrist and making you turn your head back to him.

‘’(Y/N), I am trying to stay away from you, because I’m no good for you’’ He confesses, looking at your dainty wrist while stroking it with his thumb. ‘’I rather have you hate me now, than after I’ve done something bad to you.’’

‘’Mission accomplished’’ You faintly smile before yanking your arm loose, and quickly looking away to hide your upcoming tears.

Walking away a tear makes it’s way down your cheek. You didn’t just cry because you liked Jimin, and knew you could never be with him. You cried because for the first time in your life, something could make you feel alive.

You were somewhat happy walking through the pouring rain, as your tears wouldn’t be as visible. Reaching your wet hand in your pocket to get your keys, you suddenly feel a hand grabbing your arm and pulling you into a warm body. And in a matter of seconds, two warm soft lips were pressed onto yours. You knew you couldn’t resist moving along as the soft puffiness of his lips made you forget everyone and everything. When you eventually give into him, he place his arm around your back and pulls your closer to him. One hand caressing your wet cheek and the cold metal of his thumb stinging your skin. As you are being showered by rain, Jimin’s moves into you, making you step back until your back reaches the main door of your apartment building. Clumsily fumbling for your keys, you finally reach them and hand them to Jimin, who then opens the door while you keep kissing him eagerly. Inside, Jimin’s walks you against the concrete wall next to the elevator and starts kissing and biting your neck hungrily. The sound of gripping clothes, soft moans and breathy pants fill the hollow space around you, and Jimin Lifts you up against the wall in one swift motion. Gripping your thighs and squeezing your butt, he starts grinding his crotch into yours. “You have no idea how much I thought about fucking you’’ He breaths, while grazing your neck with his teeth. As you’re moaning at his words, he slowly places you on your feet and slides his hand down your pastel-blue cigarette trousers, opening the button with one snap.

Sliding down your panties, his fingers reach your wet folds and slips them between your soaking slit. Moaning at the sensation, your breath hitches in your throat when he eases one finger inside you, looking into your eyes with his dark feline ones. ‘’Fuck, I want to fill you up so bad, baby’’ He groans, curling his finger inside you so perfectly, you winch at the sensation of the tip of his finger reaching your sweet spot. Grabbing your neck with his other hand, he places his lips onto yours, and you clutch at his sweater while you moan into his mouth.

‘’Ahhh, Jimin..’’

‘’You like that? You want more, hm?’’ He breaths, while easing another finger into you and quickening his pace.

Nodding at him in response you start steadying yourself by holding onto the fabric of his hoody, and you throw your head back at the sensation of his fingers filling you up and the sound of his husky voice making your head spin.

Letting your hand wander down his stomach, you stop at the rough bulge of his jeans covering his crotch. Cupping it in your hand, you were eager, almost desperate to feel him fill you up completely.

Your first and only sexual experience was close to a complete disaster. You were nineteen back then and as rebellious as a teenager could be at that age. Not to the faces of your parents, but you would always find ways to indirectly punish them for ruining your childhood. Making your first sexual experience not as much pleasure as it was revenge on your parents. Though, it didn’t take long for your mother to find the red-purple hickey spots on the side of your neck. You would never forget the night your father’s face was so beat red, you were convinced his beatings would be fatal that time.

As you feel your orgasm approaching, your breaths are becoming short and rapid and you feel your legs tremble under his touch.

‘’I-i think I’m clo- ahh.. ’’ You desperately moan, while desperately trying to unbutton his levi’s.

Grabbing your wrist, he looks at you through hooded lids. ‘’No, you don’t want that’’ He simply states. His voice deep and serious.

‘’Jimin, please I do want it’’ You desperately moan.

‘’Fuckkk. don’t talk like that, I won’t be able to hold back’’ He groans

‘’Please Jimin, even if it’s just for one time’’ You almost beg through moans.

Sinking to his feet, Jimin pulls your trousers and panties down, and pulls one of your legs carefully out of them. Looking you into your eyes, he slowly lifts one leg over his shoulder, and then crashes his lips on to your lower ones, making you squeal at the sensation. As he starts frenching your nub, and you feel the suction of his lips through your whole body.

‘’Ah, Jiminnn-‘’

‘’You taste so sweet mami, I could eat you out all day, Fuckk. Why do you have to be such a good girl huh?’’ He says, before stroking his flat tongue against your exposed nub, looking at you while doing it.

As he continues sucking your sensitive nub, you feel his fingers speeding up pace, and continuously hitting your sweet spot. Waves of pleasure shooting straight through you, as you feel his slick tongue on your bundle of nerves. And as he starts finger fucking you rapidly, the heat from the centre of your core spreads through your entire body. The ecstasy from your orgasm washes over you, and you feel your core tightening around Jimin’s thick fingers, making you let out a loud high pitched moan.

‘’Shh baby, people are going to think I’m hurting you’’ Jimin softly whispers in his husky voice, before he starts placing kitten-licks on your sensitive nub and then continues sucking on it.

As he drives you over your edge, you close your eyes and throw your head back at the ecstatic sensation of waves of intense pleasure washing over your body. Making your knees weak and your legs tremble under his touch. Slowing the pace of his fingers, Jimin’s let’s you ride out your orgasm and then slowly moves his head away from your lower lips and starts smirking at you, cockily. pushing himself up, he lifts your panties and trousers up your legs. When he starts looking at you, you feel yourself blushing under his gaze.  

After a few minutes of silence, Jimin lets out a deep sigh and looks down before looking back into your eyes. ‘’I don’t want to fuck you, because you deserve better than a hood rat like me’’

When you’re just about to give him your response, he cuts you off, ‘’I’m not happy with what I am, or with what I do, it’s just the way it is. I don’t want to hurt you (Y/N), or drag you down with me. Please don’t show up at those places again, I won’t be able to hold myself back when i’m drunk and I know those hyena’s won’t either. Please just.. don’t look me up again.’’

The glistening tears start drowning your eyes, as you listen to his pathetic attempt to ditch you. ‘’You’re an asshole Jimin!’’ You shout with a cracked voice, before taking your jacket from the ground with one angry swoop. You push him away from you and stumble your way towards the stairs. You start running upstairs and wailing and whimpering in your hands.

When you enter your apartment, you begin screaming and crying all at once. You were fool, and he shoved it in your face.

Running to your medicine cabinet, you take your bottle of Oxazepam and try opening it frantically. Without thinking, you take in 5 pills at once, in the hope that you could sleep for 2 days straight, or at least numb your emotions for a few days. After swallowing them one by one, you let yourself sink down your bathroom wall, and rest your spinning head on your knees.

Soon you would be in your happy place again.

a/n : In the next one i will start with a Jimin pov 

♡

[itismetheperson]

Creator Spotlight | Natalie From Capturing Life On Camera

Today I'm going to be sharing a creator spotlight with someone who I have been loving for a bittttttt. Natalie is a blogger. youtuber, and photographer who I met on Instagram. She's awesome and I love talking to her and reading her post. Stay tuned for photography tips, why she started blogging, and morrrrrre.

What is your name and what does it mean? If you're named after someone who is it and what does that person mean to you?

I always get asked this question but honestly, my parents just liked the name, Natalie. My Dad used to joke that I was named after Natalie Portman but whenever he said that my Mom would roll her eyes. Haha cool. Why did you start blogging? Do you see yourself blogging in the future?

I started blogging back in 2011 because I loved watching Youtube videos on beauty and makeup. At the time I did not realize my lack of makeup knowledge which is why “Beautybynatalie 24” became “Takeapolaroid” to what it is today (Capturing Life on Camera). In the future, I hope to use blogging to discover new hobbies and hopefully discover what I will study in college (in a year and a half!).

Good luck!! How do you spend an average day?

My average day is spent in school. I just recently got my license so I have been driving myself to school and driving my friends home after school. I get home around 3 pm and I work on homework, procrastinate, and occasionally take some Instagram photos of my outfit. In the Spring, lacrosse practice starts for me so my days will be extremely hectic. Driving must be cool! Also now I'm just wondering when your school ends + starts to be able to get home at 3 haha. What are your favorite hobbies? How would you describe yourself in 4 words? Just tell us a bit about yourself.

Other than blogging, as I mentioned previously I play lacrosse. I tend to hide the worlds of my other hobbies from each other so I never really get to talk about it. I have been playing since second grade and I guess you could say I am pretty good. I made my high school’s varsity team as a freshman which was one of my greatest accomplishments! I also love taking portraits of friends but I would love to branch out and turn my photography into a mini business. My 4 words to describe myself are determined, busy, quiet, and creative.

Wow congrats on getting on varsity as a freshamn!! That super cool! How do you come up with blog posts and how do you usually go about writing one? I always have blogging on the back of my mind. I guess you could say I’m a true content creator because whenever a topic pops into my head, my blogger subconscious kicks in and goes, “wait that would make a great blog post!” If I am feeling really inspired at the moment, I will go right to the notes section on my phone and bang it out right then and there. Otherwise, it is almost like pulling teeth to try and come up with valuable content.

Blogging is always at the back of my mind as well! What are your 3 biggest photography tips for newbies?

[1] Get Inspired: I first got into photography by finding photographers that I love and *attempt* to emulate their style. You will learn so much about your camera and different techniques compositionally

[2] Don’t be basic: You won’t make it as a photographer if you are just taking pictures of flowers in your backyard. Find a subject that is interesting, inspiring, or informative to make your photos stand out.

[3] Keep Shooting: You will never get the perfect shot unless you take at least 50 more along with that one.

I totally agree with all of those!! If you could collab with anyone dead/alive who would it be? I would LOVE to collab with Billie Eilish or Emma Chamberlain for the same reason. I would love to ask them about what it is like having a full-time job and being so successful as a teenager. I am the same age as both Billie and Emma and I think I would be very inspired by talking to them.

That would be so interesting. If you had to choose a career now what would it be? If I had to choose right now, I would love to make blogging full time. In all honesty, it is not the most realistic idea considering that I am in high school and I probably would not be able to function with the income of a small influencer, but I think if I had the means I could make it work.

I would also lovvvvvve to be a full time blogger but have the same problems haha. :) What do you see happening with your blog in the next year? What do you want to happen? This year I see my blog growing more than ever before considering the digital age that we are currently in. As much as I would like this to happen, I would need to work really hard at creating content, being persistent, and coming up with unique ideas.

What are your tips for other people wanting to start a blog?

I know everyone says this but just start. The earlier you start, the more time you will have spent on it, the more you will make mistakes, and the more you will learn. The only way to create a successful blog is to fail multiple times.

What is your aesthetic?

My aesthetic has changed many times throughout this year but recently it has been more green, orange, red, pink, etc. However, my room is the polar opposite being grey, blue, black and white. Are you an introvert or extrovert? I think I am both. I love to be alone because I am an only child and a grew up keeping myself busy but I also love hanging out with my friends and being in a large group of people. But I guess that I am more introverted than extroverted because I prefer to listen in a conversation than bud in.

Yayyy I super hope you enjoyed that!! If you want to find out more about Natalie feel feel to check her at the places linked belowwww. 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/capturinglifeoncamera/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/capturinglife1/

Blog: http://capturinglifeoncamera.com/

If you ever want to collab I would love to!! Just email me at nabilaeve@gmail.com. Comment down below your answer to any of the questions! Also, I would love to know if you want more creator spotlights!! I love doing them but I want to put out content that you guys actually enjoy. :) 

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[nicestbitchyoulleverlove-blog]

When You Don’t Want It

Divorce.  Ugh....even just typing it makes me feel gross.  Divorce is tragic.  It is hell on earth...especially if it is not what you want.  I do not want a divorce.  I still love my husband.  I always will and he knows that.  People judge me, call me a doormat, tell me I lower the bar for women, because I always take him back.  This time, things are different, and we will never reconcile.  He never wants to be with me, his wife, ever again.  I cannot really express with words that pain.  The world turns black and white instead of color.  I feel like half of a person.  I hate happy celebrations because I know they are empty without him.  I look at my phone hoping every day that he will beg for me back.  I long for closure.  For him to have one last conversation with me.  To give respect to our marriage.  To talk about the good times.  Thank one another for the beautiful times.  Agree that it just did not work out.  But that will never happen.  I have to learn to accept that and move on.  He is coping/grieving our marriage by finding comfort in another woman.  I am coping/grieving by being alone, writing, and going to recovery meetings.  But I know he loved me.  So fucking much.  Please do not tell me to get over him.  I never will.  He will ALWAYS be in my heart.  He gave me my gorgeous son.  I want us to someday get healthy for HIM.  But, I fear that he and I can never be casual.  We had a fierce love.  And I know from experience, that never happens.  When it does, you do not ever get over one another.  We got shit on with life.  Poverty, children, death, trauma, PTSD.  Neither one of us could cope. I am not surprised this is over.  I am devastated that we could not beat the odds.  We were determined to.  When I first got to my parents, I refused to put clothes in drawers.  I kept them packed up hoping he would come back.  I could not ACCEPT he was gone forever.  Now, I put the clothes in drawers, occasionally come across one of his shirts or underwear...and when i do I squeeze it, smell it, cry, then throw it away.  I used to call him OVER AND OVER.  I left a voice message crying and BEGGING for him to come back.  The last time I saw him I came so close to punching him right in his face because I could see he was on drugs and rushing to get back to his fix and woman.  I begged him to dump me to my face...and he screamed “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.”  He kicked me out of the truck, while i, his wife and “best friend,” was crying hysterically. He evil laughed.  That laugh haunts me some days. This, while my family was told my father had six months to two years to live.  (that is not applicable anymore YAYYY) i am not saying this to bash him.  He has his own problems.  But it almost killed me, literally. I do not let it eat me alive anymore.  I move forward.  I am kind to myself for crying.  I am grieving.  I would appreciate people not putting a time limit on it.  I am doing much better than waking up wanting to die.  I can function enough to run a business and take care of my children.  I am building a beautiful relationship with my mother.  I am enjoying every single second of my father.  I can listen to music without breaking down. For some reason, my higher power wanted me to go a different direction.  And me, being the control freak I am, I want what I want when I want it.  I want my husband, but clearly, that is not in the cards.  I have got to LET GO AND LET GOD.  Obivously, something better is planned for BOTH of us.  We stopped trusting one another.  “Trust is like a mirror.  You can fix it if its broke.  But you can still see the crack in that motherfucking reflection.” And, boom.  We were dead.  And that is okay.  It happens.  I tried to go on dates...and I just cannot right now. It feels weird and wrong.  And it makes me think of him.  The entire time.  Someone that never thinks about me anymore.  It is so annoying.  It is a motherfucker.  I would not wish my pain on anyone.  But my pain is creating mental endurance.  I am coming out stronger than ever.  I am getting divorced.  I do not want it.  I am sad.  Devastated.  And he is not.  Or he is and he is hiding it.  He is a really good liar.  Whatever it is, it is over.  If you have ever had a relationship crumble...I love you...we will get through this.