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re: this post — i'm not sure if it's the same article that mentioned this, but i remember reading a passage about how liza's metaphor of her and stavrogin's love being the "large spider in a room" (or something, i can't remember the specifics) has quite literally materialized in the "a finished romance" chapter: she's already standing in that room with the metaphorical large spider, stavrogin — horrified upon seeing who he truly is and has no faith in anything that can possibly stop his moral decay.

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newlyweds in moscow

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you guys don't know just how much i have been itching to get that post out (the most recent one)... i've been stuck reading revision materials and making reviewers for the past two weeks and i've barely gotten any leisurely writing done 😓 it's why i'm barely on here too

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on lizaveta nikolaevna (demons)

— some supplementary notes / new knowledge i've picked up about liza; a bit of a ramble-y essay. may contain spoilers.

so i finished demons around late december of last year, and much like what i did after i finished crime and punishment, i went on to hunt for some journal articles about demons. i like doing that to refresh my knowledge on what i just read and clarify some themes that i might have glossed over. something i noticed was the lack of articles about liza tushina — i really wanted to understand her character some more, so i was bemoaning the scarcity of articles written about her (most of the ones i've come across are usually about stavrogin) on my private twitter account.

BUT. but. i did some more digging and found instead an article about dasha. i fully expected it to tackle her character only, but i was surprised to see that liza was mentioned several times in it.

i've always thought about the significance or the "rationale" of liza's character in demons. i thought about her a lot even after i've read the book, and i was always trying to figure out what dostoevsky could be possibly communicating to his readers through her. the general idea that i got (after weeks of Thinking Really Hard) is that liza's somehow a counterpart (i'm using this very loosely here) of stavrogin's being the disconnected, westernized russian man.

in the article i mentioned, liza is described as such:

in comparison to dasha:

as we know, liza is not above displaying her emotions; she also doesn't hold back especially when there's something she wishes to say. by dostoevsky's standards, liza is a "westernized" woman, too — she's passionate, assertive, and progressive, not at all like his otherwise "meek" female characters (e.g. dasha in this case; sonya from c&p) who embody the traits of a Good Christian Girl™️

another interesting point i want to touch on is liza's poor health / sickly disposition. there's a passage where the narrator says that liza rides around town according to the doctor's advice. additionally, we know that she's prone to hysterics / having fits. apart from a physical sense, i think this can also be understood as a "spiritual sickness", or at least a kind of vulnerability, which made her susceptible to the temptations of the moral bloodsucker that is stavrogin. she succumbs to temptation, she sins, and she buckles under the weight of her sin.

a little off tangent but the article i'm referencing here also talked about how this sickly-ness of liza is like that of stavrogin; it's something born out of her social class. it's why she holds much contempt towards dasha — liza thinks it's outrageous that she has to compete with a "serf-wench" for stavrogin's attention. it also explains why she thinks that marya lebyadkina can't possibly be her other rival, because she's outside her circle / way below the social status ladder, and therefore does not exist to her and is not a valid candidate as another rival for stavrogin's attention.

whew. anyway, that's it. i've wanted to make a longer post about this because i can only write so much on twitter, and because i've always been fascinated with liza ever since i finished the novel. please don't take this as me hating her — much like the other characters, she's got her own flaws that should be acknowledged alongside her strengths. this is simply me looking back on what i've read and making it make more sense to myself.

also, if you're interested in reading the article for yourself, this is the title:

if for any reason you don't have access to this / can't access it, feel free to send me a dm and i can email you a copy of it ^^

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𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖊𝖘.

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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

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Me: I'm writing for myself, I started this fanfic for myself, and because I have a passion for writing

Also me: *doesn't get new comments in a week* Fuck, I should just quit right now

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“how long did it take to write?” emotionally or physically?

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suffering looks so good on nikolai...

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mini-update: i finished my first book of the year (the trial - f. kafka) and started the idiot! i also haven't been posting much on here since i'm studying for the psychometrician board exam, but i might put up new stuff (notes/drafts for serpentine tears) on my side blog sooo yeah :)

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bitches be like "i love writing fanfiction" and then constantly second guess themselves because what if they're not good enough what if it's cringe what if no one likes it what if people laugh when they see it what if i mischaracterized someone what if i didn't tag it properly what if what if what if

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writing dialogue is just advanced theater where you play every role and silently judge yourself as the audience.

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BTW i see these posts all the time like "ohhh i dont know what to comment on fics.." and every response is "keysmashes! or hearts!! anything works :3" and thats GREAT!! thats helpful!!

but: consider. if u genuinely like analyzing writing.. do u know ur just allowed to go through and quote your favorite parts and ramble abt what they mean to u and the author will LOSE IT WITH HYPE?

genuinely. i felt SO WEIRD the first time i did it.. but like. holy shit authors love it. its crack for authors. the first time i did it, it was on a fic that hadnt updated in half a year, give or take, and the author made 3 updates that month BECAUSE OF MY COMMENT.

LIKE. as an author every comment is INCREDIBLE!!! but also, dont feel like your comment has to be short or otherwise ur invasive or smth!! authors ADORE long comments more than ANYTHING.