#and my night elf is happily married to her dwarf wife

[slaphappyflapjacks]

Not me lying awake at night thinking of ideas for ten year old wow ocs. Couldn't be me.

[cthulhu-lulu]

The Miscreants

Nymphadora (Adora/Dora) Bell

Drow/Cleric (Grave Domain) AC: 18

STR: 18(+4) DEX: 16(+3) CON: 12(+1) INT: 14(+2) WIS: 16(+3) CHA: 16(+3)

Plague Doctor with Morticia Addams Aesthetic when she’s not working

Silver tongue comes in handy when Team Dumbass’ shenanigans inevitably go south

Married to Desiree, the two have been through a lot, but have finally managed to be reunited after many arduous years

Has published a series of smutty novels that have sold quite well

Raven familiar named Nigel Hoots (“I wanted an Owl”) who delivers cryptic messages to Dora in a language she can’t understand

“Digging one’s way out of a mountain of corpses after watching one’s wife be experimented on by deranged wizards does tend to limit one’s tolerance for bullshit. Now move aside.” 

“Don’t fret, my lovelies, I’m a doctor”

Spiritual Weapon takes the form of a Teapot

Distinguished Lesbian

Desiree Bell

Drow/Cleric (Grave Domain) AC: 16

STR: 19(+4) DEX: 12(+1) CON: 19(+4) INT: 9(-1) WIS: 14(+2) CHA: 13(+1)

Former researcher/botanist

Insists that she used up all the luck she had when she met Adora, and has been happily married for 89 years.

Team Dumbass founder

Likes shopping for frilly dresses, botany, going with her wife to fancy brothels, and getting into fights in taverns

Raven Familiar named Percival Periwinkle the Duke of Purple Pearls

The party has watched Desiree pull some of the weirdest objects out of her Bag of Holding (“Is that a clockwork Raven? Why do you have that?”, ”So Percy has a friend!”)

Spiritual Weapon takes the form of a Teacup

Disaster Bisexual

 Lavish

Tiefling/Bard (School of Glamour) AC: 13

STR: 7(-2) DEX: 15(+2) CON: 13(+1) INT: 17(+3) WIS: 13(+1) CHA: 20(+5)

Nymphadora’s publisher/editor who now travels with the wives on their adventures

Acts as the groups accountant, and keeps plenty of gold in the budget for paying off guards and city officials to forgive any mischief Team Dumbass finds themselves in

Goes with Adora on spa dates

Works tirelessly to keep the party from letting their egos get too big

“No, no, Dora, let them go, I want to see where this leads”

(to Team Dumbass) “Now, what did we learn?”

Can burn you down to your foundation with a cutting remark

Distinguished Gay

Aurykke

Fire Genasi/Cleric (Forge Domain) AC: 19

STR: 12(+1)/19(+4) DEX: 16(+3) CON: 15(+2) INT: 9(-1) WIS: 14(+2) CHA: 10(+0)

Former blacksmith turned adventurer after being hired by Adora to rescue a merchant’s son from bandits

May have caught feelings for Adora after watching her literally pound a bandit leader’s head through a stone table with her bare hands.

Starts fights that she knows she can’t win herself, but knows that Team Dumbass always protects their own!

Acts tough, secretly craves all the cuddles (which the party is more than happy to provide)

Spiritual Weapon takes the form of a pink anvil

Functional Bisexual 

Coriander Bride-Stealer

Half-Elf/Paladin (Oath of Redemption) AC: 21

STR: 11(+0)/29(+9) DEX: 16(+3) CON: 13(+1) INT: 7(-2) WIS: 11(+0) CHA: 17(+3)

There is a popular song about her called ‘The Paladin Thief’ which tells the tale of an evil paladin stealing away an elven princess from a human prince (It was actually an arranged marriage, and the princess begged Cora to help her escape, which she did)

She really hates that song

Forgets that being sneaky means she can’t keep using Thundering Smite to dispatch enemies, proceeds to do so anyway

Ride or die for her friends, tries really hard to steer Team Dumbass towards good decisions, fails spectacularly

Is doing her best

Disaster Lesbian

Ol’ Banjo

Human/Barbarian (Path of the Totem Warrior) + Wizard AC: 18

STR: 19(+4) DEX: 17(+3) CON: 20(+5) INT: 14(+2) WIS: 10(+0) CHA: 12(+1)

Former farmer, Wife passed away a few years ago after 60 blissful years of marriage, decided to live out the last of his days adventuring and living life to the fullest, believing that he will be reunited with her when his time on the mortal world comes to an end

Has 13 daughters, 3 adopted sons, and 26 grandchildren. Remembers all of their names

His eldest daughters spent years teaching him how to read and write, now writes each of them letters every week to practice. His eldest (Willow/Wizard) gave him a spellbook, which he works tirelessly to fill with fun spells to show his grandkids

Team ‘Loving your Wife’, Honorary member of Team Dumbass

His grandchildren decorated his straw hat and glaive with pretty ribbons and flowers, which he is immensely proud of

Plants fruit trees in every town he visits and along every road he travels, in memory of his beloved wife (‘Always give to those whom have less than you do, so they may prosper’)

Loves Bathhouses and spa dates with Adora and Lavish

Distinguished Bisexual

Boos the Newt

Lightfoot Halfling/Monk (Way of the Drunken Master) AC: 18

STR: 11(+0) DEX: 18(+4) CON: 15(+2) INT: 9(-1) WIS: 17(+3) CHA: 16(+3)

Punches Good

Kicks Good

What more do you need?

“Ask your doctor if These Hands™ are right for you”

Disaster Gay

Mud

Firbolg/Fighter (Champion) AC: 12

STR: 20(+5) DEX: 11(+0) CON: 16(+3) INT: 5(-3) WIS: 11(+0) CHA: 10(+0)

Full name Asmodeus, former chef who wound up in jail with Boos after a particularly wild night at a fancy Inn, bailed out by Desiree who was looking for a cook to hire at the time. Travels with the party because ‘Y’all seem like decent folks’

Heart of Gold

“Uh, ma’am, you’re usin’ an awful lot of fancy words there…”

Team Dumbass Mascot

Amazing cook

Just a Cow-Boy riding along with his friends

Sexual preferences set to ‘No thanks’

Berlana the Bunker

Hill Dwarf/Rogue (Scout) AC: 14

STR: 13(+1) DEX: 17(+3) CON: 19(+4) INT: 15(+2) WIS: 10(+0) CHA: 7(-2)

Hired by Adora to help explore a cursed tower, ended up sleeping with Aurykke after the quest was complete. Decided to keep traveling with the party because Adora pays really well, plus medical and dental are free.

“I’ll find every trap in this place, intentionally or otherwise!”

Honorary member of Team Dumbass

Can drink anyone under the table, insists that she can ‘Make better ale than this with my eyes closed!’, Has gotten the party banned from A LOT of taverns

Insists she’s keeping records of all her expenses, and will present them to Adora once her employment is complete. She isn’t 

Functional Lesbian

@sugarskullgrin @likeabirdinflight

[madamelokiofasgard]

My own thoughts/hopes/predictions on the next campaign:

-knowing Matt said a dif contenent, I think it’ll be Wildmount as he have seen very little/know very little of it outside meeting Tary’s family and seeing fallen Draconia. As well as we keep getting bits of people having come from there: Tiberius, the Briarwoods, Anna Ripley, and Tary. Either that or Marquet as we’ve only seen Ankh’arel and Shaun’s hometown. It’d be great to see J’mon again too. Or see an older/happily married Tary

-if we get Wildmount, it’d be neat to see that Tary carried things thru with his own adventuring team and perhaps retired but still sponsors or looks out for new young adventurers, like perhaps our own new CR group.

-Liam and Sam playing a couple. Married or not, doesn’t matter I want them to be together

-I know we can’t have the twins again but let Liam and Laura’s chars become besties

-let them see an older happily married Gilmore 👏

-I am not entirely sure what Liam’s class or race will be, or if he’s going to bring the terrible and amazing Jayne back for this run. But I’m going to say possibly Paladin (more fully this time) or go for magic and be warlock or maybe Druid. Race wise I have no clue I’m gonna spit all and go Dwarf or Human

-Sam is the hardest one for me to predict. As it’s in his very nature. I’m wondering if he’ll be a bit more physical this time and go fighter or monk. Race is hard to predict but I think he’ll want to be a bit more normal sized. Maybe not human as he did that with Tary, so ima say elf.

-Laura I’m banking on either Aasimar (as girl is addicted to flying and she’d chosen that for Vex in Talks before) or possibly Tiefling. And I saw somewhere she was debating on going cleric or something else but is fighting that position with Travis so idk. Either cleric or rogue as she had to fight Liam on that last time

-Travis pls be an intelligent char I really want to see mr strategist in action. And he likes physical combat and weapons so he either goes cleric (as he’s debating it with Laura) or Paladin. And, because he loves them so much, werewolf. Race wise, probably human or Dragonborn (had a dream of him last night being a black Dragonborn with no real allegiances except to his wife the Aasimar, so I sorta love the idea of that)

-Ashley did mention being more normal sized in Talks before, which could be many things, I’m sorta banking on Tiefling or human for her. And probably as a char who is sister to another character and is part of some sort of organization like slayer’s take so she can’t be with them all the time , just to account for her time away in New York. Not sure on class. Gonna go monk for her as a stab in the dark.

-Taliesin I am hard banking on Tiefling. If not that, then Drow. Class, hoping on warlock or bard.

-Marisha I’m sorta hoping she’ll play a Barbarian or a fighter. And to be a Dwarf or half-orc

-sorta hoping we’ll have another perminant player in the group as well, like Brian or Darin. Or another lady would be great

-at some point, go meet the quarter elf de rolo children. I want it badly too, Laura!

-a run in with the long living Keyleth

-open with Scanlan singing the adventures of Vox Machina as we pan to the new adventurers

-if I’m wrong on any of their classes, let one of them be a ranger, so we can have another animal mascot. Something that can fly or small enough to carry so they don’t have the pitfalls they had with Trinket