#and my kingdom for more of the winchesters honestly
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wigglebox ¡ 7 months ago
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#i miss the days of wild and wacky theories : (#i mean yeah we were often Disappointed™ (derogatory)#but the headcanons and AUs we came up with were fun !!!#remember Season Gr8 bc we were ready for a full season of Destiel In Purgatory? :')#but yeah like i said in the replies#modern fandom has been FUCKED by the binge-watching model created by streaming and i fucking HATE THIS#and it is SUPER APPARENT with SPN bc of how long this show ran and how many fans it had and how many fans it still has#and the In The Trenches Fandom™ is very much contrasted with the large amt of ppl that got into it after November 5th™#heck like i came back after a 5yr hiatus and my gf got Actually Into It for the first time#but I Was There When It Was Written™ and my gf may not have been into SPN but was still on tumblr and into at least the Who and the Lock#a lot of ppl just don't know how long-running shows work and how SPN is such a fucking. case study. of a long-runner#it makes BtVS/AtS and SG1 look short#SUPERNATURAL RAN LONGER THAN BUFFY AND ANGEL COMBINED AND AS LONG AS STARGATE AND ATLANTIS COMBINED#(not counting Universe bc that one was v diff and nowhere near as popular as The OG™ and The One People Were Obsessed With The Shipping™)
yeah and even the people who had been gone for years but came back for or just after 1518 they still had that in the trenches experience and i wasn't here when season 8 was live but i was here the summer between it and season 9 and honestly the fandom was so large back then as well on here that even me, in my little Glee corner, would constantly see SPN posts [one of the reasons why i started watching was because of gifs i saw of the angels falling]
but yeah like even coming in after season 8 i would still see those destiel in purgatory AUs and i STILL read them. purgatory became one of my favorite places for them and i was SOOO HAPPY when they fell back into it for 15x09.
and yeah, I hate streaming culture because of this because I also feel like, given how short seasons are with streaming, there seems to be this gradual decline in nuance and coding and layering in TV shows, and it's just bam bam bam bam without much thinking needing to be done [this is actually why i don't like The Boys all that much bc there's so many deep characters to explore but there are so many and only 8 episodes]
SPN really was an anomaly because a very genre show like that on a network like that without a young cast like the rest of the shows around it -- i know it had almost been canceled a few times but it really stood the test of time for a reason!
imagine tho if the world of SPN kept having spin offs and spin offs so it lasts as long as all the star trek and stargate stuff lmao
there's a thing i wish newer fans of spn could have experienced and that is when the show was airing, week to week, and for years and years on this website or on LJ or on twitter or wherever, coming up with speculation and meta posts and trying to follow the clues as to what this show was giving us in terms of material.
i'll admit some folks probably took it too far and didn't understand that just because the show didn't do 100% what they thought it was going to do, that it wasn't baiting or that they didn't know what they were doing — however for the most part, for a lot of us, it was just fun.
and i say this because fans that were brand new fresh once the show ended didn't get to experience that, it was all catch up and a post-show fandom environment for the last 4 years. the winchesters provided a bit of that rush again but it was so short lived that it was hard to get it going.
and why i think that experience is something good to have or at least understand that it's an experience that some people in this fandom have, is because it's gotten a lot of us used to not taking it all 1:1 face value. that is: we're used to things we think are going to happen not happening, we're used to the fact that our speculation and interpretations can be wrong, we're used to the fact that the people creating the stories have their own way of doing things, and while we think we know best, at the end of the day we're playing with the toys they left for us in the sandbox.
i don't think older fans are anything to sneer at or write off because even the ones who may have been the most jumpy during the show's airing have since grounded themselves and will essentially 'wait and see' how any continuation pans out, and also had that same approach with the winchesters and many folks i knew who took that approach were pleasantly surprised with that prequel.
not that we're The Wise Ones TM but that all that time in this fandom and interacting with the show did build this certain skillset for many and it's not that we're dumb, it's not that we're delusional or that we're always wrong about stuff, but that we learned how to have fun with it.
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Fic tag game!
Finally getting a chance to sit down and fill this out! I've been so excited to, so thanks to @virahaus for the tag <3
How many works do you have on ao3?
I have 39 works (many of them wips... lol) and I also have two fics in the @topwan-obikin fest which I am very excited about! And posting has officially started so everyone should go and check out all the amazing fics that are coming out of it!
What's your ao3 word count?
442,495..... wow! I hadn't realized I'd written that much :O
What fandoms do you write for?
*cracks knuckles* a lot lol right now I am really into writting for Obikin (top Obi and bottom Ani), but I also write for a very large variety of other fandoms, some being Star Trek (Mckirk), Merlin (merthur), 911 (Buddie), Avengers (Stucky), Stranger Things (Steve/Eddie), Supernatural which i have a lot of fics for (Destiel), Teen Wolf (Sterek), I also write some pairings for various Kpop groups, not that I ship them outside of the group. I know that probably doesnt make sense lol, but I kind of see them inside the group as characters in a way, but then outside of the groups I am always so happy for my boys no matter what they do :D
What are your top five fics by kudos?
I'm also going to post the links here XD
Family Christmas - (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, 9-1-1, word count 1911, kudos 540) Summary: Bucks been working with the 118 for over a year now, but they still don’t know anything about him, including who drew the beautiful pictures that now have a special place of honour in Buck’s locker.
Unwrap Me - (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, 9-1-1, word count 3742, kudos 426) Summary: It’s the day after Christmas and Eddie’s alone in the house and bored out of his mind, so he decides to go to Buck’s apartment. What he finds there is not exactly what he was expecting, but he’s definitely not complaining.
All I Want For Christmas is You - (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, 9-1-1, word count 7905, kudos 402) Summary: Eddie’s mom and ex-wife are up to no good at his Abuela’s Christmas Eve party, good thing Buck proposed he go to the party as Eddie fake date to keep them at bay.
A Magic Kingdom Love - (Dean Winchester/Castiel, Supernatural, word count 15,300, kudos 283) Summary: Dean and Cas are both working for Disney and have been cast as the very first gay princes. And at first they hate each other but it’s hard to pretend you’re in love all day for sweet, shy kids, and then not makeout under the bridge of the magic kingdom castle.
The Will of the Force - (Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars, word count 93,820, Kudos 249) This fic is almost complete, I think it will have one more chapter! Summary: What if Obi-wan hadn't been granted permission to train Anakin in the ways of the Force? What if Qui-Gon hadn't perished during the battle with Darth Maul? How differently would things have turned out?
Do you respond to comments?
I always do! I love reading comments, they inspire me and keep me going, and I love responding back to let the readers know how much I appreciate them <3
What's the fic you write with the happiest ending?
Honestly all of my fics have a happy ending. In my original novels I'm a bit more open to having an ending thats not so happy, so when I write for fandoms I usually write happy endings. But I would say The Will of the Force will have a very happy ending, and Lost in Translation which is a Star Trek Mckirk fic will also have a happy ending even though the plot is a bit angsty.
Do you get hate on fics?
Oh, story time. So when I first started writing for fandoms, one of the first fics I wrote and posted for was Supernatural, and I was writing this very long Destiel series that involved an original character named Sara. And I was really nervous about posting, but forced myself to do it anyways, and for some reason this person decided to read the first few chapters of the first fic in the series and she destroyed it. She had deemed herself the "official fanfic.net critique" and in her bio had even gone as far as to put that it should be considered an honour to have her pick apart your fanfics. So she decided that she did not like the inclusion of my OC Sara and told me that it was completely unessesary for her to be in the story, started to demand that I re-write the fic and remove the OC, then repost it again for her to re-evaluate, and then proceeded to destroy the ret of my fic and the writing, to the point where I became very discouraged and didn't write for like two years after that. Long story short, I am now at the point where I don't care what anyone thinks of my writing. If you like it, great! Come along on the journey with me and we can enjoy it together, and if you don't like what I'm writing then that's perfectly fine too. Not every piece of writing is for everyone, but if you don't have anything nice to say then please keep it to yourself and find something you do like to read.
Anyway, rant over. lol
Do you write smut? What kind?
Yes, I definitly do lol. Most of my fics have at least one scene.
Do you write cross-overs?
Yes! I love crossovers. In my AO3 right now I have one crossover called Running with the Wolves which is a Maze runner and Teen Wolf crossover with Sterek being the main pairing.
Aside from that I have a few crossovers in my WIP's folder
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, and I hope to never experience it.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
No, but maybe one day, I am open to the idea. I'm just so busy right now, I would hate to hold someone up who's a faster writer then me.
What's your all time favourite ship?
It changes regularly lol, but right now my favourite ship is back and forth between Obikin and Woosan.
What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I have a lot of WIP's, and I hate to think that I wouldn't finish one because I have the intention to finish them all. But I guess I would say the one thats at the bottom of my list right now are probably my Avengers fics.
What are your writing strengths?
I have no idea lol But I do usually get compliments on my smut scenes and I'm oretty good at writing angst.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I always struggle with description between narratives. I have no trouble with the dialogue, but the actions that the characters are doing between the narrative is what always gets me.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I have written a few small sentences here and there in other languages. Mostly Korean, and then I have also written a bit in Elvish, Not sure if that counts but I've done it.
First fandom you wrote for?
I want to say Merlin/Merthur was the first fandom I wrote for, and Supernatural/Destiel was the first fandom I posted for... I think lol
Favourite fic you've ever written?
Oh, that's a hard one... I'm pretty fond of The Will of the Force, and I would say that outside of the Star Wars fandom I also really love Lost in Translation for the Star Trek fandom.
But I do have a few WIP's that I'm really excited for that will hopefully be coming soon. Both of them are Pirate AU's, and one of them is for Star Wars (Obikin) and the other is for Woosan (Ateez, Wooyoung/San).
This was so fun! Thanks again for the tag <3
Not sure who to tag, but anyway don't feel obligated to do it if you'd rather not!
@goingknowherewastaken @henderdads @jhoomwrites @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth
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ladyknightskye ¡ 2 years ago
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Next Best Thing
Prompt: Missing Scene/Episode
Pairing: Dean/Lucifer; referenced Michael/Lucifer
Episode: 5x04 The End
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Major Character Death
Written for @spnrareships Dean Winchester Rare Ship Week.
Read on AO3.
Lucifer blinked, and Dean was gone. Not the dead body at his feet, but the young Dean that he hadn’t seen in years. He cocked his head, and considered the words that young brash thing had thrown at him. He shook his head, and looked down at the body that once belonged to Michael. 
“My lord,” came a hiss from the shadows. “We managed to take the fallen angel alive. He has been brought to your keep.”
“Good,” Lucifer said as he reached out and laid one hand on Dean’s forehead. A bit of will, a tugging on the angry soul still tethered, and the body was alive once more. Bottle green eyes snapped open on a wheezing hiss, and a gun was raised, fired. 
Lucifer looked down to the perfectly neat hole over his heart. Then he looked back into the increasingly incredulous eyes of Dean Winchester. “I’m afraid that as powerful as the Colt is . . . it doesn’t work on me.”
“What now? Why’d you bring me back?”
Lucifer could not stop the grin that wreathed his face. “You’ll see.” 
He touched Dean’s forehead again, and willed him to sleep. He hefted the man easily into his arms, and flew back to his sanctuary. Once the world had properly fallen into disarray, he’d taken a rather sizable mansion in Chicago as his own. He laid the sleeping man out on the king bed he rarely used, and stood over him. 
Castiel would soon descend into drug withdrawal and in that attending madness lay opportunity. The fallen angel’s vessel could hold Lucifer, and probably do so without him having to withdraw back into this one. He no longer even thought of the body as being in anyway Sam - honestly he wasn’t entirely sure where Sam’s soul had gone. He hadn’t felt it in years. He did not need his perfect vessel anymore, but he’d keep it around just in case. However, for what he planned, he needed a different vessel.
Lucifer had realized that something was missing from his new kingdom. Something important - Michael. His beloved brother had refused to speak to him, had ended up keeping all the angels in Heaven. Lucifer missed having a companion, a brother-lover. 
He looked down at Dean, stroking his cheek gently. 
He didn’t have Michael . . . but he did have the next best thing. 
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scottishcat1988 ¡ 4 months ago
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Knight in shining armor - Dean Winchester x Reader
Part 9
“About what?” your voice was low and a little bit shaky.
“You know about what, (Y/n)” he spoke looking down at the floor.
“No, no Dean I don’t.” you said as firmly and cautiously as you could “What is going on?”
“(Y/n)” he let out a sigh “Maybe- maybe we should- This- What we have. What you and I have, I think, should… better be over. It’s better if we… stop seeing each other” he managed to say after lots of trying. You felt your heart stop beating - although you knew that that’s what he was going to say - your worst fear coming true as he said those words. You could see that he did not want to say anything either but yet… he did.
“You-” you let out a nervous laugh “-you’re kidding me now, right?” you asked him “Right?” desperation dripped your voice.
The look in his eyes, though, was not giving you the answer you hoped for.
“I’m sorry, but it’s better this way” he muttered and took a step back and away from you.
“Why?” you croaked out “Why, Dean, tell me why?!”
“Because it is for the best! It was wrong all along! This- All we had was wrong all along and I never should have stayed that night in the first place! I should have pushed you away and left. Up and go. Then we-” he started saying but you cut him off.
“We what, Dean? What? We would have never gone through all of the things we did. That’s what you want? To never have been with me? To never have started this relationship?” you looked at him with an expression of disbelief.
“It was wrong princess” he mumbled, looking down.
“Princess? So I am princess now?”
“Yes, princess yes. You are! That’s what you don’t get! You are the princess of this kingdom and I am just a knight! A soldier, a servant bound to protect you with my life. That is my duty. But I have no right to be- to be with you this way!” he all-but-shouted.
“You didn’t seem to have problem when all of this started” you said irritated.
“I was wrong! I was fucking wrong alright?” he roared at you.
“No no you weren’t. You did want this, Dean. Don’t deny it, we both did! Because we both felt the same way! We still do and- and it is hard for me to comprehend how all of a sudden you come here and- and tell me you want it to be over!”
“We were both damn wrong then! Can’t you see it? This was a mistake from the beginning.”
“No, no you don’t believe this. You can’t really believe all of these things” you shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes.
“Yes, yes I do.” he said as firmly as possible. You could see he was trying desperately to keep his voice from cracking.
“You can’t really want this, do you?” your voice was barely above a whisper.
“I-” he swallowed thickly “Yes, yes I do. It is for the best, princess. And you know it. It is the right thing to do.”
“But not what I want” your voice was really low “Not what you want either, Dean. And you know it. If you didn’t then you would have never agreed to all of this. We would have never started this. I- I can’t do this Dean, though. I can’t let you go just like that”
“But you have to, princess. Even if… we want to stay together, we can’t. We can’t do this, princess. You are to take over after your father soon and we both know that you can’t do so alone. You need a prince by your side… And I am not one, (Y/n)- princess. I can’t provide you with the things you need and I-” you cut him off before he could say more.
“So that’s what this is all about huh? About all of the things my father said, right? That’s what suddenly made you change your mind. We were just fine yesterday and today all of a sudden you- you come and tell me this?! Just because of what my father said? I can’t believe how you changed your mind so easily, Dean! I can’t believe you! I honestly can’t believe you! Do I really matter that little to you that you are willing to just give me away because my father- because my father said all of things he did?! Because he thinks that I should marry a prince to be able to rule the kingdom right?” you all-but-screamed at him, throwing your hands in the air.
“No! Not because of your father, (Y/n)!” he roared “Because of everybody else! Didn’t you hear them? We were together a couple hours earlier out in the market! We both heard them! And it wasn’t just a couple people! All of them, almost all of them kept saying how it is time for you to marry someone so you can take over! Because they need you to take over! And they all said that it has to be a prince! How the fucking hell do you think they would react if they found out about what is going on between you and me, huh? How will you marry a prince if you are stuck with- with someone like me?” you could hear the venom in his voice as he spoke of himself as if he was unworthy of anything good. That he never deserved anything good in his life.
“But I don’t want to! I don’t fucking want to marry another man when I want you Dean! I want you!” you screamed at him the tears that had welled up in your eyes started running down your cheeks “I only want to be with you, Dean. Why can’t you understand that?” your voice cracked “Why do you push me away?” you ended up asking in a mumble.
Dean took in a shaky breath and opened his mouth to speak “Because that is the right thing to do. It was- it was great while it lasted but it’s better this way because- It is the only way (Y/n).” he spoke in a low and rough voice “We have no choice. That’s what you don’t understand. All those people out there depend on you. Their lives depend on you, (Y/n). There is no room for us to be selfish and you damn know it! It is wrong to keep doing this anymore. What do you think everybody else, your parents included, will think of you when they find out- Because they are! Did you really believe that there was any chance of us keeping this up for ever?”
You looked at him with an expression of disbelief “I can’t believe you’re saying this. You can’t be saying this” you shook your head.
“I am sorry but it’s better if we-” he swallowed the lump in his throat, averted his eyes from you and your tear-stained face “If we end this here. You- you belong with another man. A prince that will help you rule this kingdom right. I.. have no place by your side.” it pained him to say these things but he knew that he had to.
“Dean please” your lower lip trembled “I know- I know that this is not what you want. You do not want this either Dean, please don’t do this. We- we can keep this going a-and find a way in the meantime. Please Dean I-I can’t be without you. Please don’t end this like this. I know that you don’t want this Dean! You don’t! Why do you want to push me away when you feel the same?”
“Because it is the right thing to do. I know you will understand at some point that… you and I don’t belong together. You know it, you just don’t want to accept it. And if you can’t back away from this then I will” he tried to say as strongly as he could.
“So that’s just it then? You’re going to walk away and out of the door and this- all we had, all we ever went through is just going to be over? You’re just going to forget all of the things that happened between us? All of the things you felt? Of me? Just like that? Like it never happened?” you raised your eyebrows at him, tears rolling down your cheeks in rivers.
Dean looked at you for a good while, silence having now surrounded you. The only thing that could be heard was your sniffling and occasional sobs. Dean clenched his fists and looked at you straight in the eyes. His breath had hitched on his throat and he found himself unable to breath, his heart felt tight and ached, his stomach heavy like a rock as he fought to keep the tears in
He took in a shaky breath and opened his mouth to speak “Yes.” his voice was low, his own tears that threatened to spill were lacing it and making it more rough than it normally was “Yes I am. And so should you. We do not belong together (Y/n) no matter how much we try.” he gave you a sad shrug and you nodded at his words, the tears still not stopping.
You looked down at the floor and wiped out the tears that just couldn’t stop rolling “Very well. If that is what you want. I can’t really force you, right? Don’t worry. I won’t bother you with my presence, either. We have lots of knights in the castle, don’t want to force you to sacrifice your life for someone you think is not worth it” you looked up at him with a visibly-fake smile.
“You may go now. I don’t require your help.” you said, your face and voice, void of any emotion.
You turned your back to him and looked out of the window, pursing your lips to keep the sobs from escaping. Silence was the only thing that could be heard in the room as Dean did not make a move from where he was. You could feel his eyes at your back and you only felt your hands shaking more as you had them in front of you, clenched in fists and holding the fabric of your dress tightly. You could slightly see his reflection in the glass of the window as he just stared at you. You saw him after a long while give you a small bow and slowly turn to walk towards the door. Exiting it and letting it close softly behind him.
The moment it had clicked shut your mouth opened slightly and sobs escaped your throat as you collapsed on the floor, your knees gave away. You clenched the fabric of your dress in your fists as sobs shook your head, tears falling on your fists. You could not stop the tears or the sobs that made you shake uncontrollably. You put your face in your hands and cried your eyes out.
That’s all you did. All you could do. Lay on the cold floor, even as you run out of tears till sleep enveloped you. Not muttering a word when Anna found you the next morning, worry etching her features.
You did not say a single word as you only let her take care of you.
Not a single word.
~~~
That’s how it went on for the first couple days. You would barely go out of your room, only when it was necessary. Most of the time it was for dinner, although you prefered for them to bring the tray with your food at your room. You didn’t eat much and most times Anna or one of the maids had to force you to eat at least half of your food. Whenever you were eating with your parents you tried not to show the condition you were in but that was definitely not something easy. That just meant that your mother had picked up on it.
Your father had as well but you just tried to brush them off with the excuse of your possible wedding. Your father seemed to believe you but your mother, well, she didn’t believe a single word you told them. She kept insisting on you to tell her, to let out everything that was hurting you, to explain to her what was happening to you but… you didn’t. No matter how many times she insisted you would just come up with an excuse to brush her off.
You were just lucky that she didn’t have that much time to keep asking you. Your birthday was soon approaching and lots of people, most of them nobles, were invited to the ball that would be thrown for you. That only meant that your mother, and you, had to make sure everything was well organized even in the smallest detail. You weren’t going to do all the preparations by yourself of course but they surely needed your approval before they continued with what they were about to do. It was not an easy task, definitely boring if you got to think about it - having to choose what color the tablecloths should have was really not something you liked doing in your free time.
And as if that was not enough, you had to welcome the people that came in advance. Every time, as if it was one of the greatest events, friends and family members of your parents would come in advance - like two or three days prior (or hell even a week) - and stay at the castle till your birthday and the ball. Some even stayed after the night of the ball. It was not really bad, considering that you liked some of them, but others? Well, others were pretty annoying if you were honest and you had to admit that you had pictured killing them in more ways than you could. Just like those little Mikaelson kids.
The worst of all was the dress. You had to do so many dress fittings these days that it had honestly driven you insane. It was always something you hated when it came to your birthday. You didn’t know why they had to make a special dress for you to wear on your birthday but every time it managed to drive you insane. All that fitting, all that standing on top of a chair so that they could adjust things on it, all those corsets your had to put and take off - literally leaving you breatheless - had you grumpy for the rest of the day every single time.
But this time you were actually thankful for all of that. You were even thankful for the freaking annoying kids that ran around the room where the ball would be held, as you spoke with either the chefs for the food or some others for the decorations, annoying the hell out of you. They were all just distractions and you were… glad for that. You were glad for all of the distractions you could get because you honestly did not want to have a single second free to think. After the first couple days you had started feeling better - as much as you could - and tried to look strong in front of others. It was all mostly thanks to all of these distractions.
You wanted to take your mind off of Dean and all of the things that had happened just a couple days ago. You actually didn’t want to think about it - and mostly him - at all. You didn’t want to think about the things he had told to you and above all you didn’t want to think about all of the things you had been through with him. All those pleasant memories - you could not deny the feeling he gave you - would swim through your mind, though. The feelings coming back along with them and you were unable to keep the tears from rolling. You had many times cried yourself to sleep. You tried to be strong and not do so. You tried to push the feelings and memories away but it was impossible. At least when you were alone. It hurt. It hurt like hell but you tried your best to keep everything at bay. You knew you had to.
But, just as you seemed to be succeeding - or at least were distracted enough - there he was. Whether you were walking through the garden, head bowed as you looked at the flowers, whether you were on your balcony breathing in some fresh air then he would be there. Either walking a few steps away from you or under your balcony - always in deep thought - he would look up at some point and of course spot you. Your eyes locking and you could always see that the expression on his face was one of pure hurt. You could see how broken he was and in how much pain he was. At moments you contemplated on running to him, enveloping him in your arms and telling him that you wanted to be with him again.
Dean was many times on the verge of doing that.
But every time you would just take a deep breath, purse your lips and wipe out every sort of emotion from your face. Abruptly turning your head on the other side and just keep walking as if you had not seen him. Most times you would just pretend you hadn’t seen him and walk away from him. Others, when he was close and speaking, you would just pretend that you didn’t hear him. Sometimes, when you visited the training area with your father you would just walk away from him when he came close to you and your father and many times opted for talking to another knight that was there and you had luckily gotten to know a while back ago. You tried to look more interested in him and what he was saying, just like Dean with your father, but when you felt his eyes on your form almost all the time you couldn’t help but turn ever-so-slightly your head an glance at him. Whenever your eyes locked you would just lift your head as if you were almost glaring at him and with a final hard look you turned your head the other way.
Every single time you missed the look of hurt on Dean’s face who just swallowed hard, trying to control himself (and the pain he felt), and turned his head to look at your father. Forcing on a smile that he did not feel in the least bit and just going along with what your father was saying.
You always did the same. Whenever he was close you barely glanced at him, preferring to look anywhere but him, and only when you were ‘forced’ to because somebody was present and you didn’t want to raise suspicions would you utter a few words to him. Only then.
~~~
You shook your head as you walked down the hallway to the throne room. Your father had called you but you didn’t know why. It was probably another relative or friend just having arrived (your birthday was tomorrow - along with the ball) and as usual he wanted you to be there to greet them.
You couldn’t help the feeling in your gut that told you that this was something more than just that. That it was not just another guest you had to greet. That the person you were about to meet was much more than just a guest at the ball. And it honestly scared you because you knew that your father would not hesitate to act on his word.
What he had told you just a couple days ago still echoed in your ears. You coud still-
“Ow!” you exclaimed with a groan as soon as you fell on the hard cold floor.
You were so much in deep thought and your eyes were casted down that you had seen the person you had just bumped into.
You rubbed your forehead and opened your eyes to look up at the person.
Your eyes almost widened when you looked at the handsome prince bending down to check up on you, a worried expression on his beautiful face.
“Arthur?”
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stubbychaos ¡ 4 years ago
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Grateful For This Fandom And All Of You!
I initially wasn’t going to make a post like this because real life has been hectic as of lately, but 2020 has been one of the emotionally roughest years of my life, and the Mandalorian/Star Wars fandom has seriously lifted me up so much.
I know it sounds ‘cheesy’ or whatever to say a fandom has really saved you and while I’m still dealing with my own mental issues, having y’all to interact with seriously has uplifted me so much and I am so grateful to be able to have you guys in my life!! I want to say I started this blog around January, but didn’t really start posting around February or March because I was too shy, but everyone I’ve encountered has been so sweet and lovely!! Even though Saviin’ika is kind of my baby when it comes to fan fics, I don’t think I’ve written anything over 100k before and knowing that I have at least 100k more drafted out is absolutely insane to me--I’ve never written this much in my life and I’m so excited for what I have in store for y’all. I cannot absolutely wait to see how much it progresses and what new works I decide to work on it 2021!! I have so many fun ideas and the fact that this is one of my longest running fics makes me so excited!!
Anyways, here’s a small list of blogs that have seriously impacted my life this year, even if I haven’t interacted with them as much as I would have liked! *Not all of them are necessarily blogs that post fics!! Some are just super supportive of content creators or extremely talented artists that I admire!*
Because I feel like this is definitely going to get long because there’s so many of you that I love, I’m going to put this under a cut! Not everyone got a long shout out, but please know that I am utterly grateful for each and every one of you and I am always down to talk with every single one of my followers!!
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@datmando WHERE DO I BEGIN CLOWN LMAOO. Christina is honestly a gem and I cannot get over how talented she is when it comes to both art and writing--it’s insane to me!! I think she is actually one of the first people to reach out to me (I think it was actually about my username if I remember correctly??) and I absolutely adore waking up and seeing that I have a message from her because I know she’s about to wreck me with her utter CLOWNERY lmaoo, whether it be something soft or angsty that she shares with me. Not to mention experiencing season 2 of Mandalorian with her was such a highlight of my year. Even though she doesn’t believe in wearing socks to bed, I guess she’s okay and I’ll keep calling her my friend, even if she makes makes fun of me for how I get so cold easily </3 also thanks for starting the Great Sock Debate of 2020 lmaooo🤡🤡
@aerynwrites  Aeryn is the biggest sweetheart ever and is so supportive and encouraging. She is also one of the first people to support my writing and I remember how I nearly cried when she told me that she had made a mood board for Saviin’ika because nobody has ever done anything like that for me before??? Anyways, her Knight!Din story is everything, along with her angsty Cassian fics, so please check her out!! She deserves all the love in the world and I genuinely enjoy talking to her!
@hdlynn Listen, I think Heather and Aeryn tie for the biggest sweetheart award!! Heather is like the queen of giving out such good writing advice and just how encouraging she is to write characters the way we feel like writing them is such a refresher!!! She has no qualms about breaking canon and is always like--nah dude :) you do what makes you happy and it’s like!!! YASSS!! She is absolutely aware that writing and certain characters should have no strict rules and I live for it!!
@maybege Okay, listen y’all!! Maybege is also one of the first people that I became friends with when Paz started becoming a bigger character to write for in the fandom and she quickly became a good friend of mine!! She is also a huge sweetheart and her Paz smut and just overall works are just... *screeching noises* TO DIE FOR!!!! I’m all for a gruff Mandalorian with a soft spot and she always pulls it off so well, yet in always such a sexy way that has me gasping, no matter which Mandalorian it is!!! She’s always catching me off guard with me discovering kinks that I didn’t even know I had before and apparently I’m way more of a freak than I initially thought lol.
@absurdthirst I don’t actually talk to Keri that much personally!! but I follow her and she is so supportive towards other content creators that it’s such a breath of fresh air to see on my dash!! She’s constantly putting out the hottest smut, but also, she gives out such great advice to her followers and anons and she has to be one of the least judgmental creators in this fandom that I have the privilege of knowing! She’s so chill and I absolutely adore her for it! If you need to rant or can’t remember the name of a certain fic, she’s the one to go to!! Also she has a Din x reader x Paz fic that is just--🥵🥵 HAWT
@huliabitch Julia is honestly such a boss ass bitch and if she punched me in the face, I would probably thank her for it!! She always sends me the sweetest messages and encourages chaotic behavior, as well as cliffhangers and I love you for that bb <3 She is beautiful inside and out and I love her!! Also, her moodboards are absolutely stunning!!
@anxiety-riddled-mando Tailor is someone I want to get to know better because she seems like such a sweetheart and is so talented when it comes to both fan art and fic!!! I just read her Urgency fic and I cannot wait to reblog it with comments becAUSE IM A MESS LOL
@clydesducktape The way Thia supports so many fanfics and reblogs them with the sweetest comments and tags is so cool to me!! I love seeing blogs that have absolutely no qualms when it comes to reblogging fics that don’t get the recognition they deserve!! Also, you are such a sweetheart too and even though we don’t personally talk a lot, I adore seeing you on my dash and the posts you have tagged me in in the past!!!
Here are some more blogs that I absolutely adore, regardless of their content: @coredrive @leo-moon @phoenixhalliwell @justrunamok @jango-fettish @acynicalcat @tangledlove27 @auty-ren  @tiffdawg @princessxkenobi @oloreaa @gallowsjoker @saltywintersoldat @keethus-arts @theocatkov @forever-rogue @corrupt-fvcker @haloangel391 @no-droids-allowed @catnip987 @cattfeine @silverfish-kingdom @yes-music-is-my-religion @princessbatears @gallowsjoker @prettylittlegoldfish @parabatai-winchester @aesnawan @blue-writes-a03 @kimbachan @bestintheparsec​ @lackofhonor @mandolovian @teaofpeach @max--phillips @hansoulo @trashedies @giselatropicana @elenamiria
Like I said before, I absolutely adore all of my followers and love interacting with you all!! I cannot wait to meet more people this year!!
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defenderrosetyler ¡ 3 years ago
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APAHS: Chapter 5
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A/N: So sorry to keep all of you in suspense! I have already written several more chapters and didn’t realize I hadn’t posted Chapter 5!  WC:  2668 Warnings; Mention of the death of a family member Thanks to @flamencodiva for Beta and @winchest09 for the divider!
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Sam was here. Sam was here in Storybrooke Cemetery. This was the last place Y/N had expected Sam to be, especially at this hour. Clearing her throat, she repeated her question. 
“What are you doing here Sam?” Sam cleared his throat. “Wanted to come and see your Dad and pay my respects,” he says, placing his hands in his lap as he remained seated. He noticed the wet tear slip down her cheek, becoming concerned. “Are you alright?” This made Y/N scoff. “Please, as if you care about my emotions Sam.” 
Normally, Sam would have responded with a snarky comment back, sending them into one of their usual arguments. This time though, he shakes his head. Not wanting to fight. This wasn’t the time or place for that. Clearing his throat, he held up his hands, letting them fall on his lap as his eyes met hers. “I didn’t come here to fight Y/N.” Sam says gently, his tone calm and relaxed. Patting the ground next to him, he’d offered her a spot beside him. “I wanted to get some things off my chest. Why not talk to someone who won’t have an opinion to press on me. Allows me to speak freely, lets me open into certain emotions that I’d rather hide.”
As he spoke to her, Y/N couldn’t help but feel sorry for the way she’d spoken to him. Normally, conversations between the pair would end up in a fight, even with name calling involved. This conversation, however, was more relaxed and open. Sam was letting his guard down. Was opening up to someone other than his family. Y/N sat in silence. Rendered speechless by Sam’s words. “What brings you out here?” Sam asks her after a moment passes between the two of them. Crickets filling the atmosphere to make it not as quiet. Taking a deep breath, Y/N looked into Sam’s hazel eyes. “I-I just missed my Dad that’s all” She whispered, eyes falling down to her lap. She didn’t need to tell Sam the whole truth. She really did miss her Dad. Especially given her current circumstances. ====
Enchanted Forest Sam entered Winchester Castle’s archive, panting as he made an attempt to get away from Ruby. She was everything he’d heard about. She sure wasn’t the one for him. The way she’d looked at him sent chills down his spine, and not in a good way either. “Who or what are we hiding from this time,” Gabe calls from his desk in the center of the room. Book in hand as he read. Trying in earnest to find some kind of loophole to free Odette from Rowena’s curse. “Princess Ruby of Avrinyth on the Isle of Dagua.” Sam sighed as he flopped down in one of the plush chairs. Making some sort of excuse to stay away from her and his parents. 
Placing his fingers on his temple, Sam groaned, rubbing them in a circular motion, in an effort to make the headache go away. Gabe glanced over from his book hearing the groan, setting his book down closed, his full attention now on Sam. “I’m searching as hard as I can, Sam. I’m searching for a loophole to get your princess back.” Gabe says, his tone soothing, hoping to relieve any stress the young prince may be experiencing. “I just want her back, Gabe.” Sam says, tired and exhausted. 
“As of right now, it’s true love, kid,” Gabe sighed. “I mean have you told her you love her?” Sam’s gaze met the Fairy’s, eyes narrowed as well as his eyebrows. “What does telling her I love her have anything to do with this?” 
“Oh yeah, saying you love her beauty is absolutely true love,” the fairy said, rolling his eyes. It took all Sam had in him to not roll his eyes, let alone throw him across the library. He really would never live down what he’d said to her at his birthday celebration. Clearly, this was getting him nowhere. He had the same answer as he’d had the last time he checked in with him, and even the Blue Fairy had given him the same answer. 
“She’s beautiful and I love that about her,” Sam sighed in frustration, “isn’t that enough? How can that not be enough!” 
“Bucko,” Gabriel huffed, “you have a lot to learn about love.” The fairy was collecting the books when he had a thought. “You know where Odette is, right?” 
“Obviously,” Sam let out. 
“Then go spend time with her,” Gabe insisted, “when you come back, talk to your mother. Ask her why she loves your father. Then go see Odette again, when you come back, as Your father the same question. Maybe you’ll find your answer there?” Sam stands from where he’d been seated, he’d delayed himself long enough. He had to survive dinner, have a private conversation with his mother, then find some way to sneak out of the palace. Away from his parents, away from Ruby, and try Gabe’s next suggestion. ==== Storybrooke
“How long has it been since you were here last? To talk with your Dad, I mean?”  Sam asks softly. “Honestly, you think I’d have kept track of that but, judging by the flowers, it's been too long.” Y/N sighed as she looked at the wilting flowers beside her father’s headstone. Sam looks down feeling bad for her, he had both of his parents. How was he supposed to sympathize with her? Sam wanted to help mend the relationship they had, not fight on a constant basis. “If...If there’s anything you need….you know you can talk to me right?” Sam says, hesitating slightly. Y/N shakes her head, pulling the dead flowers from the vase, making a mental note when she comes back the next time to bring fresh ones. She stood, clearing her throat. “It’s getting late, I better head on home.” “Want me to walk you home?” Sam asks, to which Y/N shakes her head. “I can manage,” she replies, giving him a small smile. “Goodnight Sam, thank you for sitting here with me.” “Anytime, if you need someone to talk to or whatever, you know where I’ll be.” Y/N nodded and turned to leave, making the slow walk back to her house. She needed to find extra income now that she was unemployed. Sam didn’t need to know about that. He had enough on his plate to worry about with the debt his family owed. Why on earth would he want to help her?
After watching Y/N walk away, Sam had made his way to work at Gold’s Shop. There were a few items that Mr. Gold wanted to be cataloged. As he was working, time seemed to fly quickly. It wasn’t until a small clock announced that it was close to midnight. Rubbing his eyes, Sam closed the ledger where he was taking inventory, and made his way to the back where Mr. Gold’s office was located. The closer he got, he began to hear a familiar voice. 
“It can’t be,” he whispered to himself. 
Nearing the door, Sam looked through the crack seeing Dean and Mr. Gold. Dean’s knuckles were bloody and torn. Did Dean do a job for Gold? He wouldn’t, would he? Sam recalled their argument from that morning and sighed. 
Pushing the door open, Sam made his presence known, “Mr. Gold I finished --” he stopped halfway and raised an eyebrow at Dean, letting his brother know he was caught. “Dean? What are you doing here?” 
Dean in his usual fashion, brushed him off. Sam waited until Dean was walking to his Impala to confront him. This wasn’t good, Gold was manipulative, he could trick you easily. Dean working for him, made him worry what sort of catch there was to this. Why on earth did he choose him of all people as his employer. 
His conversation with Dean didn’t go smoothly. Dean, in great big brother fashion, mentioned how Sam had caused their family to be in the predicament they’re in. Why couldn’t his brother see he was trying to fix things on his own? It was his mistake, He, Sam, would need to fix it, not Dean. 
Ever since Sam had made the deal with Rowena and buried them in bigger debt, Dean had pulled away from his younger brother. Sam felt it, could feel it with every look and with every conversation they had. Not to mention that Dean seemed to think that Ruby would be in the house. He was sure that he had done everything to keep Ruby out.  With these thoughts in mind, Sam shook his head, once he reached the comforts of his apartment, however, his mood was instantly soured. After turning the lock, not hearing the familiar click of the door unlocking, his brows furrowed. He’d locked it before he left this morning, hadn’t he? Upon opening the door, Sam discovered why the door was unlocked, when he saw his ex-girlfriend sitting in the living room. This was going to be a long night. --- Enchanted Forest The evening meal was uneventful, but Sam shuddered as he felt Ruby staring at him for most of it. Gazing at him as if he were the meat that had been placed in front of them. Before excusing himself from the dinner table, Sam turned to look at his mother. “Mom, can we talk, alone?” he asks. The question makes Mary look worried, glancing at her husband before nodding at her son. “Of course sweetheart.” The Queen nods, before rising from the table to leave the dining room to walk side by side with her son.  Sam cleared his throat as he walked beside his mother. “What made you fall in love with Dad?” Mary stopped walking, turning to face Sam, her eyes downcast slightly. “This has to do with Ruby’s visit I assume?” 
Sam remained silent, giving Mary her answer. 
The Queen sighed, clearing her throat. “Your father and I had an arranged marriage,” she explained.  “When I first met him, he seemed like someone so self-centered and selfish, only caring about what battles he could go in and bring glory to his people.” She paused and let out a snort, “he would go on and on about the ogre wars and how brave he was fighting for his kingdom. On our wedding day, I saw a different side to your father. He’d changed into someone who was caring, compassionate and took time to listen to my problems. Your father put me first, then the matters of the kingdom a close second.” Sam listened, maybe Gabe was right. There was more to loving someone than just looks. Sam learned that once he’d watched Odette leave the palace gates. Seeing the look on her son’s face, Mary reached out to cup his face gently. “I know you're still set on finding Odette, I really think you should continue your search.” Mary’s words caught Sam off guard. She wanted him to keep looking? If this was the case, then why invite Ruby to the palace at all? Was this his father’s idea? “Why don’t you talk to your father about this too?” Mary suggested. “Why Dad?” Sam muttered. “Dad’s so set on me moving on and marrying someone else.” Mary let out a deep sigh, “Samuel, your father is trying his best to look out for you.” She reached out and pressed her hand to his cheek, “Ever since Odette went missing, you’d been brooding around the castle, wearing yourself out, just to break this curse she’s supposedly under.” “Mom, you heard what Rowena said, I read the translation to you.” As he spoke, Sam’s tone was getting higher and more irritated. 
Not wanting to argue with his Mother, Sam left and headed in the direction of the stables to go meet with Odette. The evening the two spent together was something Sam wouldn’t forget. Sharing memories of their childhood, the jokes and pranks he and Dean used to play on her. Hearing her laugh, made Sam’s heart swell. Perhaps his Mom and Gabe were right. There was more to love about someone besides their looks. Beauty was both on the inside, as well as the outward appearance. Like his previous visit, hearing Rowena approaching with Crowley in tow, Sam managed to slip past them unseen. The lack of sleep was getting to him, but the time spent with Odette was worth it. Managing to slip past Ruby after breakfast, Sam meets his father in his study. Clearing his throat, Sam rapped on the door. Hearing John mutter permission for him to enter, he looked up hearing Sam’s shoes. “I thought you and Ruby were off riding after breakfast,” John says confused, looking concerned. Sam shakes his head. “Forgive me for bothering you, but I wanted to talk to you about Mom.” This made the king even more concerned. “Your Mother? Why?” Sam inhaled, letting his words out in a rushed breath. “Was Mom’s beauty the thing that made you fall in love with her?” John’s taken aback by such a question. “No.” He answered without hesitation, “Yes, her beauty was something I noticed right away but, it takes more than outward beauty to truly love a person.” 
Sam hesitates before speaking again. “Then why is Ruby here Dad? You know how I feel about her, not to mention matching her with me, given her reputation, is not the best image I want for the kingdom. Dean may be the next king, but I will not see our Kingdom be made a laughingstock.” John looked sympathetic. He knew how well Odette and Sam had gotten along as children, even growing into the adults they were now. “You're really set on finding her aren’t you?” He asks gently. Sam nodded. “I love her Dad. I just don’t know how to tell her, let alone when.” John nods, resting a hand on his son's shoulder. “When the time is right, you’ll know.”
----- Storybrooke “Get out Ruby” Sam snapped, his tone clipped and frustrated “No, my name’s on the lease too. There’s nowhere else for me to go, Sam,” Ruby argues, sipping her burgundy red wine. 
She’d held the stem so delicately, as if the glass would shatter. Brown eyes searched Sam’s. Begging for him to continue the argument. 
“I’m not in the mood to argue with you right now,” Sam muttered. Heading towards his bed, slamming the door shut, locking it behind him. 
As Sam slept, he found himself running through a palace courtyard. 
“Come on slowpoke! Gotta catch me!!” The woman’s voice giggled. No….it wasn’t just any voice. He knew who the voice belonged to. Y/n?
Sam was running, leaving the palace to the woods? Why here? Y/N’s pale blue dress shimmered as she ran, her hair all curled flowed down to her back. 
“Wait up!!” Sam calls, losing his footing, tripping over a stump as he falls to the dirt below. Looking up as a white swan glides peacefully over the lake. 
As he stands, Sam holds his head in agony. Hearing someone call his name. Crying out for him. 
“Sam, Help!!” 
With her cries, Sam heard a laugh. The laugh was dark and sinister. Hazel eyes fell upon a metal cage, the swan trapped inside. Rushing to the bars to try and free the animal inside, Sam was grabbed by the back of his shirt, eyes turning to look into her green eyes. Not the bright emerald green color of his brothers, but a dark green. “You will never understand love,” She snarled. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Samuel” 
Sam jolts awake, clutching his chest as he hears Y/N’s voice screaming his name. Her voice had sounded like she’d been crying before calling out to him as he was dragged out of the dream. His chest heaved as he attempted to catch his breath, body covered in sweat. “I gotta talk to Henry.” . 
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graysongraysoff ¡ 4 years ago
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Hey, wanna know something insane?
My AO3 turned 10 today!
To celebrate, I thought it’d be fun to talk a little bit about my favorite fics I’ve written from each year I’ve been active, and I was right! It was fun!
It was really cool and rewarding to see all the ways I’ve grown and improved, and to know that those stretches of time when it feels like I can’t write my way out of a goddamn paper bag 1.) won’t last forever, and 2.) honestly will probably still net some good writing, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. It was nice to have this reminder that writing can and will always be fun again, and that my skills will always catch up with my taste as long as I keep practicing.
Yeah. It was just nice.
Anyway, behold the winners below!
2011 - Oh Let’s Smile (Kingdom Hearts) is the first fic I ever posted on AO3, and to this day it still impresses me. Writing any fic longer than 1,000 words is always a feat for me, but Kingdom Hearts also has a very particular narrative vibe, especially in its dialogue, and I remember working really hard to capture that. There’s also a little instance of foreshadowing that I’m just blown away by; I don’t think I’ve placed such a cheeky little hint since!
2012 - I didn’t post any fics to my AO3 in 2012, but I did post a fic in 2013 that I had actually penned the year previous: If He Be Worthy (The Avengers). It’s not one of the better things I’ve written in a technical sense (the perspective shift in the middle makes it feel more like two fics than one), but I’ve always been fond of it, anyway. That introspective scene in The Avengers where Thor comes upon Mjölnir in the field just struck me so vividly; I felt like I could read Thor’s mind watching that scene, and this fic is what I heard in there.
2013 - I’ll be honest, I find the vast majority of the fic I posted in 2013 unbearably cringey, but though it didn’t get much attention I do still really like Gotcha (Supernatural). I really love the characterization of disaffected teenage Sam, who knows the drill but is sick to death of it. I love Dean standing up to John for him even though John scares the shit out of him. I love Baby Winchesters and, yes, perhaps I would even die for them.
2014 - I have a complicated relationship with In A Month That Brings Just Ice (Les Misérables). I think it's a really good example of the gap Ira Glass talks about between one's skill and one's taste; I don't think I was quite skilled enough at the time that I wrote this to pull off what I was trying to pull off. With that said, there is a lot to be proud of in these 9,000 words, including the fact that I stuck it out and finished the longest fic I had ever written. It’s probably the fic that has taught me the most and that I have grown the most from. So while it’s maybe not the best thing I wrote in 2014, and while I haven’t always been proud to claim it, I think now, in 2021, I can say it’s one of my favorites.
2015 - This was a powerhouse year for fics; I wrote the very first Valentine’s Day fic, as well as the first fic of mine to break 100 kudos. However, my favorite thing I wrote in 2015 is a bit of a dark horse: Ghosted (Danger Days). If IAMTBJI showed the gap between my skill and my taste, Ghosted shows that skill catching up. It’s gut-wrenching, I love it.
2016 - I feel like there isn’t usually a lot of overlap between fics of mine that I’m proud of and fics that get a lot of attention, but Leave What’s Heavy (The Adventure Zone) is a joyful exception. This fic feels like a unicorn in more ways than one: not only did it net a ton of kudos (by my standards, lol), but writing it felt good and natural and fun in a way that is only becoming more rare as I get older, and I really, really love how it turned out. I am so proud of her.
2017 - I threw a lot of spaghetti at the wall in 2017, but the piece that really stuck for me is Shek O (Pacific Rim). I love writing in the world of Pacific Rim and I should really do it more often; there is so much to play with in the Drift and it was really interesting to think about how Mako would be affected by Raleigh’s grief, having drifted with him before, and also what it would be like to know someone so intimately and then be out of their head for a year. Mako is a very introspective character, so the result of writing a fic from her perspective is something that’s very quiet and understated but still manages to be very poignant and emotional.
2018 - These last few years a lot of my Valentine’s Day fics have been written under a lot of self-imposed pressure, and the result of that is that usually by the time I post them I’ve worked so feverishly and so hard on them that I kind of hate them. Valentine’s Fray (Romeo & Juliet) is probably the first Valentine’s Day fic I felt this way about; I drafted and drafted and drafted, and then I couldn’t look at the finished product for over a year because I was so sick of it, so disappointed by it. But reading back over it now, all the blood, sweat and tears I put into it come through so strong. From the level of structure right down to the level of the sentence, this fic is me at my best.
2019 - There are a couple little things about Someday, Somewhere (Cowboy Bebop) that I’d change, looking back, but overall it’s definitely my favorite fic from 2019. This was one of two fics that manifested in my head immediately after finishing Cowboy Bebop, and as far as I’m concerned it’s canon, because I cannot live in a world where it’s not 🙂. The character dynamics in Bebop are some of my favorite I’ve ever encountered, and in particular I could easily write about Jet and Edward until I die.
I refuse to have a tie, but I have to give an honorable mention to The Sunless Place (The Authority). I spent literal, genuine years picking at it off and on, and it’s still surreal to me that it exists in its complete form. Knowing it’s out there makes me happy.
2020 - This was another banner year for fanfiction (most likely because of The April Fools), and I’ve been going back and forth for a full day now over which fic from this year should get the top spot. I really genuinely love a lot of what I wrote last year, but I’m especially fond of Teddy Bear (Zone Blanche), to choose another dark horse candidate. It was super fun to write and I think I did a good job of capturing the “simpler times” dynamic of the characters pre-canon.
2021 - This year has only just started, (and The April Fools have only just started!), so it might not be worth it to pick a favorite just yet, but I am really proud of Infection of a Different Kind (Romeo & Juliet). It was fun to write in a way the VDays haven’t been in a while, and it’s also the most ambiguous and conceptual thing I’ve ever written, and I’m really, really proud of how it turned out.
Well, there you have it. Did your fave make the cut? If not, consider validating me and telling me what it is!
(Side note, can you fucking believe I chose a fic from a different fandom every single year? That was not intentional. This is what happens. This is what happens when you’ve written for 27 fandoms over the course of 10 years. Absurdity, that’s what happens. Fucking  incredible.)
💖
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rachaellikesyaoi ¡ 3 years ago
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I posted 8,839 times in 2021
20 posts created (0%)
8819 posts reblogged (100%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 440.9 posts.
I added 4,161 tags in 2021
#dean winchester - 657 posts
#castiel - 625 posts
#make me laugh - 606 posts
#destiel - 592 posts
#spn - 550 posts
#julia - 292 posts
#supernatural - 290 posts
#barry - 203 posts
#deancas - 178 posts
#sam winchester - 168 posts
Longest Tag: 133 characters
#there are so many pieces in the finale that just dont make any sense. it fundamentally breaks and pulls and references so many things
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
I can't wait for 20 years from now when they reboot supernatural and we all rise up from the grave like those shitty zombies at the end of s14/start of s15. It'll be great.
1 notes • Posted 2021-02-28 12:48:10 GMT
#4
I just want to fucking scream
1 notes • Posted 2021-06-18 11:06:04 GMT
#3
spn asks: 8, 9, 11, 14, 27
Oh my god!!! Yay! Thank you for the ask!!!
8. Favorite Cas?
Endverse!Cas. Love my little Stoner dude who fell from grace and would follow Dean to the end of the world. I've literally been reading 'Down to Agincourt' by seperis and I'm almost on book four. Which is dedication, because it's beautifully written and lacking any smut. That's how much I love Endvers!Cas.
9. Favorite Dean?
Demon!Dean. How could you not love him? Sure, he's a 'bad guy,' but so is Billie Eilish and I'd follow both of them into hell with a smile.
11. Which episode do you wish we had gotten?
I honestly think it's a tie between Human!Impala, and a body swap episode. I would have loved to see Baby as some hot stud and Dean being all flustered when Baby inevitably asks why Dean is calling him 'the car' or 'impala' instead of their given name which is Baby. BUT I would have also loved to see Cas and Dean switch bodies and see Jensen and Misha acting like the other's characters. It would have been great.
14. If there was a reverse French Mistake, who would cope the best?
I think Jensen would, because he's essentially Dean Winchester, but more adjusted. I'm sure if given some time to train, then he'd fit into the position well.
27. Which would you rather have addressed in canon: Cas killing countless copes of Dean or Dean's grief each time Cas died?
I think I'd want his grief addressed, because unlike with other deaths of Dean's loved ones, I feel like Cas' deaths never got the same treatment? I dunno. I'm probably wrong, but I feel like when John, Mary, Bobby, or anyone else got a more fleshed out grieving Dean than anytime Cas passed. But maybe that was the point? 🤷🏼‍♀️
Thank you for the ask! I don't think I've ever done one before!
2 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 15:15:00 GMT
#2
Need New Blogs to Follow
I haven’t done this in years, but I’m looking for active blogs to follow for all of my fandom needs. If you post any of these fandoms, please reblog or like this post and I will check out your page and probably follow!
Supernatural
Doctor Who
Umbrella Academy
Marvel 
DC
Star Trek
Yu Yu Hakusho
Lovecraft Country
Disney
Stardew Valley
Animal Crossing
Kingdom Hearts
Good Omens
The Boys
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Persona
Spider-Man (Anything)
Sherlock
Miss Kobiyahsi’s Dragon Maid
Fruits Basket
Cowboy Bebop
Yuri on Ice
11 notes • Posted 2021-06-15 14:43:40 GMT
#1
I was today years old when I learned that Sean Gunn, James Gunn brother and the actor who plays Kraglin in the MCU, also does the motion capture for Rocket.
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He also did the mod-capping for the Weasel in the new the Suicide Squad movie. 
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Huh.
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22 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 14:25:14 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
4 notes ¡ View notes
atlascas ¡ 4 years ago
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DEANCAS FIC REC
(last updated 7/1)
FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier. 
very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will
✨ = new fic on the list
💖 = in my brain rent free!
CURRENTLY READING
these are the fics that i’m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.
lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them
Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.
Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.
Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.
kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close
Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.
hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing
Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them?
They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.
the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.
“And what’s the point of it?”
“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”
NEWER FIC
“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.
💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.
The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’
Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.
assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read
Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.
cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good. 
For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.
It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.
💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead
Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.
He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”
a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.
Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.
💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay
In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.
tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good
“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.
Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.
Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.
in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written
Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.
i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all
It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.
convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute
"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"
cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring
Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.
as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO
Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.
long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.
Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”
Reflexively, Dean laughs.
Castiel does not.
“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”
all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written 
“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”
Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.
“I mean it,” Dean insisted.
“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”
💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless
“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”
“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”
For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.
sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic
One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.
Maybe it's time for a talk.
💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him
Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.
it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT
Dean gets his GED.
a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff
Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.
no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one
“We should fuck,” Dean says.
Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.
There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.
Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”
till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too
Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.
turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire
Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.
Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.
💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this
“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”
as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!
"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.
and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................
There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.
the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me
Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).
there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.
Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.
💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now
Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.
the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front
The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.
💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art
Dear Castiel,
Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.
a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.
don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt
It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.
actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.
not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done
What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.
the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own
When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”
King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”
“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.
The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.
four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction
As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.
What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?
(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)
the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)
"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."
Dean just stares at him.
when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.
Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?
(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)
six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic
Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.
sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written
Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more. 
Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.
💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year
Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.
broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.
A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.
It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.
Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end. 
home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute 
In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.
love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic
Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.
✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough
After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.
✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that
The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.
CLASSICS
isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.
💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)
💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally
While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.
okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here
"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."
"You hang out in your basement."
"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.
💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.
he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything
💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it
Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.
"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.
"I don’t know yet," he says.
today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect
"Is that-"
"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.
fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.
The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.
"Oh," says Bela.
That changes certain things.
💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.
They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.
"To the end of the world," he says.
"To the end of the world," says Castiel.
💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now
Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.
not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me. 
Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.
Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.
💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious
Something in the world is waking up.
It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.
Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.
💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read
This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.
The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.
Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.
the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so
Heaven is white.
Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.
Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.
There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.
They are the five people you meet in heaven.
any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous
The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)
a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.
Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.
Frigging fantastic.
(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)
unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!
Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)
💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable
He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.
a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely
Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.
the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.
You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.
brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck
However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’
his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages
Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.
💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u
Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.
Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.
💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange
“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”
those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.
Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.
dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years
Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.
💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good
After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.
long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way
When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.
incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!
Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.
Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.
💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!
No one ever tells Dean anything.
(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)
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thecleverdame ¡ 5 years ago
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The Oath - 2
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Parings: Dark!Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader
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Summary: After an unsuccessful escape attempt, the reader finds herself taken as a spoil of war. She ends up in the bed of a ruthless Alpha, the son of John Winchester, leader of the kingdom of Gilead. She struggles to conceal her true identity and navigate a society where being an Omega means nothing more than serving at the pleasure of powerful men.
Warnings: non-con, sexual assault, rape, attempted suicide, sexual slavery, branding, torture, ownership, voyeurism, anal play, smut, violence, and murder.
Sam is dark in this story. If any of the warnings are triggers for you, I would suggest skipping this one. Please read and heed all the warnings.
Beta: ilikaicalie
Chapters 1-9 are currently available on Patreon.  To get access to this and many other stories, subscribe for a pledge of 2.50 per month. CLICK HERE
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TWO
“What’s this?” Sam asks. 
He could smell you from the moment his brother dragged you into their tent. Your Omega is masked by something but it’s there and it’s unmistakable. 
“An Omega the men were about to ruin.” Your captor lets you go and you stand there, eyes finding a rock on the dirt floor and staring at it. 
Two Alphas. This is not what you hoped. But maybe you can still make it out alive. 
You’re a squirmy little thing, and it’s hard to get a good look at you. At first glance, it would be easy to dismiss you as just another desperate Omega trying to get away. In Sam’s experience, your kind rarely embraces your place in the natural order of things. Yes, it would be easy to overlook you, but Sam pays attention to details. He can see past your stringy hair and tear-stained face, your bloodied knees, and dirty breasts. He’s willing to bet you’re really something to see when you’re not a snot covered mess. 
The scent coming from between your legs is thick like honeysuckles in the summer, you’re still sweet. On the verge of being broken but holding yourself together. 
Dean looks unhappy and Sam waits for what’s to follow. 
“As much as I’d love to stay and play with her, I have to ride the outer camps. If one of us doesn’t do the rounds the men start thinking they’re above the rules. We need to do something. They can’t be trusted, they didn’t even check before they started on her.” Dean pushes you forward and you nearly fall over. “She’s yours, for now at least. Unless you want to take a ride...”
“It’s your turn to go.” Sam looks to Dean for the first time. 
Dean shrugs, snorting as he shakes his head. “Better you than me. She’s a fucking mess.”
“Leave her to me.” Sam watches you with interest, your eyes bulging wide with uncertainty. Dean grabs his saddlebags and heads out. 
Moments later you’re alone with this new Alpha who’s circling you slowly, examining every inch of your battered skin. He moves as a predator, a wolf stalking its prey with slow, deliberate steps. 
“Did they fuck you?” he asks. 
“N-no,” you stammer, awash with both shame and paralyzing fear. 
“But they did touch you?” He stops directly in front of you, looking at your breasts, then to the patch of hair between your legs. 
“Yes. They touched me.” You don't know if you should look at him. Everything is a calculated choice. These sorts of men are volatile, he may not think you’re worthy to make eye contact. Further punishment is the last thing you can withstand, so you keep your eyes on the floor. 
“I’ll deal with them in the morning.” He tilts his head, wiping off his hands with a cloth before tossing it on the table. “Do you know who I am?”
“No,” you whisper, a tear rolling down your cheek. You don’t want to know. 
“Samuel. The son of John Winchester,” he explains. You think you may vomit. Samuel Winchester. Of all the cruel twists of fate, this has to be one of the most merciless. You’ve heard of him, you can’t recall the specifics but you know his general reputation; brutal and sadistic.  “The man who brought you here was my brother, Dean.” He pauses and you say nothing. “You lived in Hayward Village?”
“Yes,” you nod, sneaking a peek. He’s a beast of a man. All you can do now is pray he doesn’t kill you, or do irreparable damage. 
“I need you to understand you’re never going back there,” he explains calmly. 
Hayward never felt like your home. It was a place to hide, to fade into the background. But hearing him say that makes this all too real. You will never be the same again. 
“I understand,” you confirm. 
“The rest of your life will be very different. You’re the property of Gilead now. You belong to me. Do you understand?”
It’s clear you don’t like that declaration of ownership. Your eyes snap up to his, swallowing hard. It’s always difficult for Omegas to truly understand this new world order. It’s best to be up front. False hope only creates desperation. He doesn’t need you trying to run in the middle of the night. 
He looks on with interest, the way you swallow your emotions, holding them back at all costs. In his experience not many women would be able to express such self control under these circumstances. You’re strong, whether you know it or not.
“I understand,” you agree quietly, unsuccessfully covering the tremor in your voice. “M-may I ask what I should call you?”
“Alpha,” Sam explains. “In Lebanon Omegas don’t use the names of their Alphas. It breeds familiarity and that can be a dangerous thing.” 
You shift and squeal in pain, cradling your arm. Fresh tears fall. You’re in agony and he can’t have that. He needs you in working order. 
“What’s wrong with your arm?” Inching closer he tries to get a better look. 
“I-I think i-it’s broken,” you sputter.  
“One of the men did this?” His eyes narrow, displeased by the news. “Intentionally?” 
The fucking men have been on his last nerve for weeks and now this. They think themselves equal. Deserving of such riches that they would cross this of all lines. It makes his blood boil. 
“He threw me down from the horse. I don’t think he meant to hurt me.” You’re shaking, entire body rattling in cold and in pain. 
“He should have been more careful. An Omega requires special handling. Come here, let me see it.” He sits down in a chair, his expression unflinching as he waits for you to move closer. “Move your hand so I can see the damage.”
You let go of your arm and howl as the bones shift, but he takes your elbow and wrist, holding them in a manner that offers the first relief you’ve felt in hours. It makes sense, he’s a soldier. He knows how to treat wounds on the battlefield. He’s seen a thousand broken bones worse than this. 
“Here.” He carefully tightens his grip on your elbow, sliding his hand along your forearm until he’s holding it in place. He changes the position and you think you might vomit, the pain is so great. It’s making you sweat and squirm as he feels where the bone has snapped. “This is going to hurt.” 
Before his words register, he pulls on your wrist and elbow at the same time, realigning the bone as the two pieces snap back into place with a sickening crack. 
You scream, trying to pull back but he grabs you by the hair to keep you from retreating. 
“You’ll be fine, calm down,” he orders. He doesn’t exactly care, but seeing a woman in pain doesn’t bring him pleasure like many of his men. In fact, it’s always made him uncomfortable.“I’ll find something to hold your arm in place. Sit down and don’t move.”
He points to the chair and you lower yourself into it, cradling your newly set arm, watching as he looks in trunks and sacks. Finding long, flat pieces of wood he kneels in front of you, and using a thin rope and cloth he secures the wood around your arm until it’s completely immobile. 
“What’s your name?” he asks. 
Your mind races. You need to give him something, anything but your real name. The hours in the forest come back to you. The wild things all around you, as you search for any name to give him. You blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. 
“Sparrow,” you sniffle, wiping tears from your cheek. 
“Sparrow,” he repeats, looking up at you. “A fitting name given your broken wing.” One massive hand grips your knee and you jerk in surprise, looking him in the eyes. You almost forgot you were naked. “Do you know what’s expected of Omegas in my country?”
“I’ve heard stories but...no,” you answer honestly, looking at him as your heart breaks. You’ll never see your family again. Not that your father would ever take you back after this. There’s no coming back from being with a Winchester. If he did nothing more than talk to you, it would be a permanent black mark. 
And if Sam knew who you were he’d kill you on the spot. You’re damned any way you look at it. 
“You belong to us. The sooner you accept this, the easier things will be. You’re lucky, most of your village was killed. A half dozen were taken as servants. And you are the lone prize. The only thing worth the effort of that Godforsaken place.” Lucky. It’s a strange way to describe being driven from your home and nearly raped by a group of disgusting men. “Depending on how well you perform, you’ll be offered as a prize to a high ranking Alpha. Or perhaps you’re bound for greater things.”
Sam’s words are unmistakable. There’s a hunger in his eyes as he looks from your breasts down to the patch of hair between your thighs. One could find him handsome in other circumstances, but right now he’s simply terrifying. He’s large enough that he could easily take anything he wanted from you. His eyes burning with an intensity you can practically feel. 
“I understand,” you whisper. “I’ll do my best.”
“You stink. I’ll have someone clean you up.” He stands, arms folded across his chest. “Then we’ll have a good look at you.”
-
The tent doesn’t feel like a temporary shelter set in the middle of a makeshift camp. There are clothes and weapons everywhere as if the two brothers have been here for months. Carefully marked maps are spread across a long wooden table. There are markers in the form of little metal horses across it. It’s a miniature version of the war raging on around them. There’s a treasure trove of valuable information here if you could get it to someone, but it’s a fool's errand. This is where your journey ends, you can feel it in your bones. 
The only available woman in the camp is a gray-haired cook who bathes you while Sam watches from the corner of the room. The light of the fire licks across his face, his eyes never faltering as the old woman washes your hair and helps you scrub until the mud and grime are gone. 
The cook helps you bathe and leaves in a rush, never looking up. She’s more terrified of him than you are, a fact that doesn’t escape you. 
Sam was right, you’re beautiful underneath it all. Healthy Omegas have a glow about them, not that he’s seen a healthy one in years, but he remembers. Yours is faint but there’s a glimmer to you, like an aura emanating from your body. You’re holding your arm, with eyes trained on the floor but your head is held high, back straight despite the oppression of the situation. It’s that inner strength that fascinates him. You may be compliant or you might try to stab him in the middle of the night. There’s only one way to know for sure. 
“May I have something to drink?” you ask, naked and dripping in front of the fire. 
“Yes. What would you like?” He’s on his feet again, slinking closer with the stealth of cat “Wine? Water?”
“Tea. I’m very cold. Something to warm me up would be appreciated.”
He takes herbs from a pouch, grinding them into the bottom of a mug before adding hot water. Then he sits across the table watching you sip. 
“You’re beautiful,” he asserts and your breath catches, fear churning. “And unclaimed. How is it that an Omega like you hasn’t been claimed already?”
The truth is that your father kept you under lock and key. And when he was forced to send you away, he picked the one place you’d be the least likely to cross paths with an Alpha. 
“There were no Alphas in my village.” You explain the question away praying that's the end of it.  A tingling sensation is blooming to life in your belly, dulling your senses. “What is in this tea?”
“Herbs to help with the pain. I broke a rib last year, it’s the only thing that brought relief.” His eyes drop to your tits, licking his lower lip. “We’re lucky my brother had to leave. You wouldn’t have lasted an hour. He would have knotted you the moment he realized how pristine you are.”
Your cheeks flush hot as you fight off tears. While you overheard crude talk in the village, it’s rare that any man has ever spoken so frankly to, or about you in such a way. 
“Have you been with a man before?” You hesitate and he rolls his eyes. “I expect honest answers.”
“Yes,” you admit, feeling shame wash over you. At least he doesn’t know who you are, it would only serve to exacerbate your sins. A woman of your standing should be a chaste virgin, untouched by any man until her husband. But as a country girl from a small village its less of a transgression. Either way you think about it, the admission makes you feel like a whore. 
“How many?” he asks. 
Jesus, you’re not sure you can stand much more of this intimate questioning. 
“Two.” 
“Interesting.” A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, entertained by the confession. “Have you taken a knot?”
Your whole body goes tense, a fact that doesn’t escape him. You’re scared but with fear comes compliance. He’s good at reading people, maybe he won’t have to worry about you trying to slit his throat.
“No,” you whisper, barely audible. “I’ve never been with an Alpha.”
“Good.” His fingers strum the table. “I’ll be your first then.”
There, now it’s a sure thing. No more guessing. He plans to have you for himself, at least tonight. While he’s nowhere near the nightmare of men that had you envisioned earlier, there’s a darkness in him that’s simmering right there for anyone to see and it scares the daylights out of you. 
“Will you open your legs for me?” he asks evenly. “Or will I have to have to show you who’s in charge?”
“Please don’t,” you beseech, looking to him in desperation. 
“You don’t get that choice,” he counters, unhappy with any pushback. 
“I’m just in so much pain.” Your voice is shaking, hand curled into a fist at your side. “I haven’t slept in days. If you would wait until morning, I’ll do anything you want. I’ll give myself to you freely. I just...I’m not sure how much more I can take tonight. I’m so exhausted I can barely stay upright.”
He’s silent, contemplating your request. The men found you in the forest. You probably are exhausted. You could also be exaggerating, trying to buy yourself a little time before he fucks you. And yet he’s inclined to believe you. He can read the exhaustion on your face like the war maps on the table. 
“How long were you in the forest?” he asks. 
“Two days.” 
“With no shoes and no cloak?”
“There was no time. When the men attacked my home I ran with what I had on, nothing more.”
“I see.” He sits back, rubbing over the pads of his fingers as he decides what to do. “You should sleep. You’re no good to me broken and delirious. You’ve already been mishandled enough.”
If you were any other Omega he’d have you gag on his cock and make you sleep on the floor next to his bed, but you have this smell about you. That sweet lingering scent he’s never encountered before. He wants to fuck you, see what it feels like to be inside you, to give you his knot. 
“Thank you.” You close your eyes, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears that fall. “Thank you.”
“Are you still cold?” he asks gesturing at your bare tits. 
“Yes,” you admit, embarrassed to the point of giving up as your nipples stand out like little pebbles. “I’ve been cold for days.”
“Then come to bed and I’ll warm you.” He gets up, pulling his shirt over his head as he walks to the bed farthest from the fire. He toes off his boots and drops his trousers to the floor, stepping out of them. 
He’s a sight to behold. Long, lean muscle, just as powerful as you suspected. His cock is thick, bobbing just below his stomach. He fists himself, looking to you as you dutifully walk over to the bed, careful of your arm. 
Has he changed his mind? 
“Lay down,” he instructs, waiting as you shimmy under a heavy fur pelt. He pulls a small pillow from somewhere under the bed and places it beside you. “Turn on your side and rest your arm here.”
You do as he instructs, watching him with a wary eye as you settle into the bed. 
Sam climbs in behind you, pressing hot, naked skin against your back, letting his erection poke at your buttocks. 
“How is your arm?” he inquires as his mouth connects with your shoulder, open lips dragging over skin. Can this be happening? You jump as his teeth scrape over the back of your neck, praying that he’ll be true to his word and allow you time to recuperate. 
“It’s not as painful as it was,” you admit, feeling your eyes fall heavy. Exhaustion trumps all. “The tea helped.”
“Good. Go to sleep, little bird. The next few weeks will be difficult ones for many reasons. You should rest when you can.” 
His warning sends a thousand thoughts spiraling. A thick arm lays over your hip and you close your eyes as sleep overtakes you. For the first time in nearly three days, you’re allowed to rest. 
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marshmallowprotection ¡ 4 years ago
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The clock still ticks on, And time still goes on. If I could have, I would have stopped time so many times. But that’s beyond my power. And so I deal with the world, The cruel reality.
I grasp onto the hand of the one whom I love, My death seems to be nearing, So for her sake, I ask she doesn’t feel sad, For the release of death feels cathartic After a life of twists and turns. Tragedies and even a few happy moments. The clock continues to tick, And as the seconds go by, My death continues to grow near.
Maybe I’m just pessimistic, Ha, that seems like an apt description; You’d become that way too after 5 whole years of wondering- Killing- Murderering- A life of little meaning. But now I feel the urge to smile, For now that I have my children and wife with me, I think I could say that I am “happy”.
I grasp onto the hand of the one whom I love, My death seems to be nearing, So for her sake, I ask she doesn’t feel sad, For the release of death feels cathartic After a life of twists and turns. Tragedies and even a few happy moments. The clock continues to tick, And as the seconds go by, My death continues to grow near.
The clock ticks on and the world seems to slow. My heartbeat diminishes, And my eyes feel the urge to close. I hear the soft sobs of my beautiful wife. Her blue eyes fill with tears and they then stain my blanket. My children surround me, My sisters not daring to lag behind. It’s been years now since that day, The day we won the war. And now I think it’s time to say “Goodbye”.
Eyes filling with tears, I say my last words: “I love you all.” And as my life slips away, I smile and- A tear falls as I close my eyes…
~~~~~~
Ok, so heres another “pseudo lyric” thing. This is the last song Cora Hallow, one of my characters, made at the end of her life. She actually didn’t physically write it herself, as she wrote it when she was on her deathbed. Cora’s wife, Lillian, acted as a ghost writer for her, writing these lyrics for a piano composition Cora had finished before she became so sick she couldn’t leave her bed. 
I don’t know if I told you about Cora before, but I’ll tell you about her character anyways even if I did:
Since as far as Cora could remember, she loved to play the piano. She lived and breathed music. However, her parents discouraged her to focus on anything other than becoming a “perfect wife”. You see, Cora’s parents (specifically her mother) were nobility who had been kicked out of their noble house due to how distantly related they were (in the Vesper Empire, where Cora is from, the farther related you are to the main branch of your noble house, the less “noble” you are) to the main branch. And so Cora’s parents wanted to marry her to the heir to one of the “big time” noble houses, such as House Mariah, however, first off, Cora’s a lesbian, and second off, she had no interest in getting married to a man she didn’t even know. Also, Cora had 4 little sisters, Seraphine Hallow, Alia Hallow, and later, twin sisters Elysia and Briella Hallow (remember these four!). 
Cora only found solace with her great aunt, Alena, the sister of her father’s father, who was the one to teach her how to play the piano better as Cora was originally teaching herself. Cora was really close with Alena, as she never shunned her for liking girls or not being “wife material”. 
Cora honestly just despised her parents and often argued them. However as she grew older, in order to avoid their verbally abusive ways, she started to ignore them and avoid them whenever possible instead of actively fighting back. she also didn’t want to traumatize her younger sisters, though they ended up traumatized in other ways in the future anyways, and her parents fought together often, and there wasn’t much she could do about it except take her sisters away from the scene of the fight. 
Cora also taught herself how to use a lance, and as she grew older she would become a extremely capable fighter.
And now we arrive at the fateful year of 1545 T.C. (Cora is 17 by this point). 
Originally the day seemed like a perfectly normal one, but soon Cora caught glimpse of a strange looking person wearing a cloak with strange symbols, and before she knew it, the person had used fire magic to set the town ablaze. Cora was unable to make it anywhere near where she knew her sisters were, and ended up having to flee to save herself. 
Later during the night, she returned to the village only to find it just a pile of ashes. only the house that were made of stone or some other nonflammable material were still standing. The town was littered with corpses, most pitch black and burnt beyond recognition. She found her parents’ bodies, and, well, upon seeing them, she froze, and then, walked away. She honestly didn’t care. They had shunned her and hated her for almost everything she did that they deemed was not “wife-material”. 
Despite not being able to find her younger sisters’s bodies, she thought they were dead, and this event traumatized her beyond repair. She ended beginning to wander Theda, staying with several different people who were willing to take her in for varying periods of time. Soon, she found out that a cult worshipping the goddess Nymeria (though Nymeria was not at all affiliated with them and despised them) were the ones behind the fire of Saseraia (her home town), and massacred everyone in the cult upon finding their hide out. After that she became a wandering vigilante, killing criminals, both suspected and convicted. 
For the next 5 years she spent her days making friends and enemies and betraying people, but overall was a lone wolf in a sense. She eventually wandered her way to Windsor, the capital of the Kingdom of Solenne, where she ended up finding out the her younger sisters Seraphine (now 17), and Alia (now 13), were alive. 
After a lot of twists turns she ended up becoming one of the generals of the Thedian Resistance Army, who were fighting against Nymeria and her cronies’ corrupt ways. Eventually the war is won in the Thedian Resistance’s favor and a new system is set up to replace Nymeria’s. Cora marries Lillian Winchester (a fellow Thedian Rebel who Cora had been slowly falling in love with) and then adopt three children. Cora becomes a musician, writing songs and making compositions. Most of her songs had a fire or time theme, and many of her songs told a story that was in general tragic and without a happy ending. Of course, this happened after she finally retired from the mercenary group she and Seraphine ran together when she was 43. 
Finally, at the age of 69, Cora passes away peacefully, surrounded by her children, wife, and 4 younger sisters, and those younger sisters’ children and even some grandchildren. 
Her sisters, Lillian, and her sisters’ spouses would follow her to death within the next decade, and in their world, the phrase “When one dies, the others follow.” would originate because of her, Lillian, her younger sisters’ and their spouses all dying within the same decade. 
Cora was in general a person who was quiet and calm, but before the war, she was far more cold and distant. she was stuck on the fact she couldn’t protect her sisters and save them from the fire (even though they all did survive it but she didn’t know at the time) and even when she found out they were all alive the traumatic experience just couldn’t be forgotten. Lillian certainly helped her open up more, but even so through out her life she had nightmares of the fire of Saseraia, and sometimes would go through a depressive episode where she hid away from everyone and hauled herself up in the music room of her home. She, however, produced some of her greatest songs during those depressive episodes, so I suppose there is a silver lining there.
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Cora, At Age 58 ^
“Thank you for loving me, Lillian, and for being there for me throughout all these years.” - Cora, 1582 T.C., Age 58, To Lillian On Their 30th Year of Marriage Anniversary. —Submission
Can everyone relax and get a hug for five minutes because everything that I hear makes me wanna cry or scream or both; but I mean this in the nicest and most compliment-y way because I just adore how detailed the world building is over here. I hadn’t heard the full-details of this OC before but let me tell you that my reaction is very: 
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dcpravities ¡ 4 years ago
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event recap / starter call
we made it, gang. here’s my little recap from everything that happened in the event, as well as some ideas that i’m looking for in terms of plots going forward from this. most of the starters do have a cap of three on them except the last one — feel free to request as many as you’d like, but just let me know who they’re for!!
adam milligan — ( 2 / 3 ) dean winchester, claire novak never made it off level two, is once again back to being in a broken headspace wondering if this reality is even real or if he’s just been in hell the entire time currently looking for: friends that don’t know about his whole backstory or what he’s been through, honestly just looking for a support group
alecto carrow — ( 1 / 3 ) bellatrix black had a blast on level three, killed a bunch of people and had a great time currently looking for: more enemies, more bartenders for her to bother, perhaps someone that she was friends with in school only for them to grow apart
angelica schuyler — ( 3 / 3 ) theodore nott, peggy schuyler, mercutio made it through one and three, sustained a broken leg on level three at the hands of magic so is extremely confused about that. says the cast slows her down and is annoyed at it currently looking for: other connections from the white house since she’s chief of staff, other political connections, possibly some friends
andrew minyard — ( 0 / 3 ) never made it off level two, never going to talk about what happened there currently looking for: people from the lacrosse team, maybe someone that he works out with that he antagonizes but reluctantly tolerates
anna of arendelle — ( 1 / 3 ) elsa lost some of her memories on level one trying to help other people get inside, no longer remembers any events from the first movie, thinks they’re on vacation to a different kingdom currently looking for: friends that aren’t royalty and/or trying to steal the throne, currently working as a teacher’s assistant so maybe colleagues for that
barbara gordon — ( 2 / 3 ) tenel ka djo, oswald cobblepot straight up not having a good time. made it off three only through killing someone. also coming back to facing the fallout from the engagement falling apart. about to quit her job in the cia. currently looking for: former colleagues, former flings, maybe a roommate, a sparring partner
benvolio montague — ( 2 / 3 ) romeo montague, mercutio never left level one, has many regrets about it currently looking for: someone that recognizes his names is from shakespeare
catra — ( 2 / 3 ) scorpia, glimmer made from three by killing someone which is going to leave her with guilt again, also confused by what she saw on level two currently looking for: therapy another friend or two? 
el hopper — ( 3 / 3 ) leia organa, nik solo, will byers made it from two to one, has some awareness around her own abilities now but isn’t sure if they’re dangerous or if she’s dangerous, more stressed about baby coming soon currently looking for: more friends from school, connections within the first family, maybe a security detail? 
five hargreeves — ( 0 / 3 ) ** newly aware **, is unsure if they’re in another apocalypse situation, annoyed that he can’t get out of this place with his abilities currently looking for: a begrudging friend, maybe some prior connections from when he was unaware for such a long time
haruka tenoh — ( 1 / 3 ) usagi tsukino never made it off one, worried about everything else that happened outside of her control currently looking for: a potential roommate, a gym buddy
jasper hale — ( 2 / 3 ) esme cullen, charlie swann coming to terms with a lot of what happened on level three, regrets every single thing, is scared that the loss of control there will carry over to now as well  currently looking for: one/any of his victims from level three to call him out
luke skywalker — ( 4 / 3 ) ben skywalker, ahsoka tano, allana solo, bail organa fell to the dark side in the event, did things he’s not proud of, felt his father and son die through the force and couldn’t save either of them, having so much fun currently looking for: someone to continue to encourage those dark side feelings (or someone to call him out for it), friends outside of the star wars fandom
mason hewitt — ( 1 / 3 ) liam dunbar stayed on level three to try and help scott’s pack, injured in the process, trying to keep his head on straight about werewolves not being dangerous currently looking for: friends from school
molly prewett — ( 3 / 3 ) ginny weasley, arthur weasley, lucy weasley found out at least two of her children have died so she’s dealing with that, also dealing with her brother being alive again currently looking for: old connections from school/the order
natalie mckinnon — ( 4 / 3 ) marlene mckinnon, james sirius potter, maddie mckinnon, gideon prewett tortured on level three and dealing with the aftermath of how magic is capable of that, wondering how people can come back from the dead here currently looking for: friends who like to go out to bars and clubs a lot, people who work in her shop, regulars at the flower shop, maybe a roommate
neville longbottom — ( 2 / 3 ) alice fortescue, luna lovegood stayed on two and tried to face his fears of losing his parents again, never conquered it currently looking for: connections from school, maybe a classmate from one of the college classes he accidentally signed up for
roxanne weasley — ( 2 / 3 ) james sirius potter, lucy weasley traumatized by what happened with her and lysander on level two, is going to be avoiding most of her family because it’s too much of a reminder, about to start making bad choices currently looking for: hookups (girls only), someone to smoke weed/do harder drugs with, someone who she can sleep on their couch for a while
roy harper — ( 3 / 3 ) koriand’r, jason todd, donna troy ** newly aware ** died on level three and regained all of his memories again, ashamed that he relapsed into his drug habits again, trying to pick up all the pieces currently looking for: connections from when he was unaware, other connections from his hero life
scorpius malfoy — ( 3 / 3 ) draco malfoy, albus severus potter, astoria greengrass ended up on level three and lost control of his magic again, is now even more hesitant to use it, trying to figure out what happened, looking for more info about the malfoy family currently looking for: friends from his pre-med program, connections of people familiar with the malfoy name
sirius black — ( no limit! ) marlene mckinnon, regulus black, james potter, abi mckinnon, nymphadora tonks, bellatrix black, frank longbottom, lily evans ** newly unaware ** spent most of his time on level two trying to get other people out of there instead of facing his own fears, ended up tortured and murdered for it, woke up unaware with no recollection of his friends or previous life, instead is now under the impression that he is a death eater and plans to continue with those ideals here in the city currently looking for: chaos tbh, throw anything at him
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spnwriter ¡ 5 years ago
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Accidents happen
A/N: slightly smutty!
It was an accident when it started. I swear it wasn't what I was looking for. Sam had mentioned some books that were written about him and Dean. They both asked me to never read them.  According to Dean he was full-frontal in them, a term that caused me to laugh. My curiosity got the better of me, I wanted to know about these books. I told myself that I would skip the sex scene's Dean mentioned. I didn't want to think of the brothers in that light. I had done a remarkable job keeping the lust I felt at bay. A hard task as they have no shame walking around half-dressed. I never felt guilty looking and it's not like I hadn't caught them looking themselves. I never found the books but what I did find is fan fiction. I started reading it. The innocent ones a first but I quickly dove into the world of smut.
I never allowed myself to think about what they'd be like in bed. As I read the more I got curious. I'd heard them on numerous occasions. I found that I liked the way the 'fans' wrote, Sam. They had him right from what I knew. How kind he is, how soft he is and even the signature Winchester self-blame. The part I didn't know is what he's like as a lover. From what's written he's dominant, I can see that. Rough, yes please. Has a spanking kink with those hands Chuck I hope so. I found myself reading more about Sam than Dean or even Cas. I noticed it had become a problem when Sam was cleaning a gun and all I could think about is how skilled those hands would be in the bedroom. I was staring so much that he thought there was something wrong with me. He went into concerned Sam mode quickly.
Since then I had tried to stop reading so many. Which failed miserably. These stories soon became what I got myself off to. I knew it was wrong and I needed to stop but I couldn't. This version of Sam...he was so hot to me. I couldn't help but combine the fanfic version of Sam to the real-life version I knew and loved. I needed space, that's what it was. Maybe being so close to the current object of my lust was the issue. Maybe if I got some space from the brothers then this little whatever this is would go away. So I went on a solo hunt something both Winchester's disapproved of.
After the hunt was over, I felt like I could breathe again. I felt renewed and had no more explicit thoughts of the tall hunter. That went up in smoke as soon as he hugged me. His body pressed tightly against mine, his fingers spread out across my back. Just like that, I was back in the same place. I was beginning to think this whole thing is just me just having feelings for Sam and not me wanting to ride him till kingdom comes. I tried not to dwell on it as Sam asked me to help him with research. I liked researching with Sam. It allowed me to stare without him noticing. He's just so pretty, it's unfair. Honestly, you could say that about either of them.
"Shit." Sam suddenly announced pulling me out of my thoughts.
"What?" I ask placing the book down on the table before leaning forward.
"My computer crashed." He grumbled something about Dean under this breathe as he runs his hands down his face. He's aggravated I note as I smile at him. "Mind if I use yours?"
"Yeah," I reply, completely forgetting about the smut I have pulled up. He stands, getting my computer.
It wasn't until he sat down and opened the computer that I remembered what I had been reading before he asked for my help.
"Sam!" I exclaim standing quickly but, it was too late. He was reading it. His eyes widen at the words as he sets the computer down. He leans back in his chair, his expression neutral. What must he think? He just discovered that someone he considers a close friend is reading stories about having sex with him. I'd better start packing, I thought as I try to find my voice.
"Sam...It's not- I wasn't." I stutter trying to find something, anything that could explain this away.
He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at me. He was still sat there staring at the laptop in front of him. This silence killing me. Eventually he looks over at me, a clear blush on his face.
"Do you read this often?" He asks eyes taking in my whole form. I swear I see hunger flash in them for a second but that can't be right.
"Do you want me to lie?" I ask hoping he says yes so that we can pretend this didn't happen.
"You've been reading about having sex with me. The least you can do is be honest about it."  His tone demanding it instantly sends a bolt down my spine. No, don't think of him like that. That's what got you into this mess in the first place.
"Define often."
"More than just this one today."
"Yes," I answer hoping this means he'll drop it. No such luck I think as he smirks at me. God he's trying to kill me.
"Just about me or Dean too?"
"I um..." I shift on my feet. "I've read about Dean and Cas before." Shit, he didn't ask about Cas. I could have not told him that.
"Cas too?" He asks standing. He walks over to me so close I can feel the heat radiating off his body. "Who do you enjoy reading about the most?" He asks gently brushing some hair out of my face allowing his fingers to drag along my skin lightly.
"You," I whisper captivated by the way he looks at me.
"If you wanted me, all you had to was ask." He utters dropping his face to kiss me. His lips feel soft against mine. He grabs my slightly too big hips pulling me into him. He takes it slow just nibbling lightly on my bottom lip testing the waters. I open my mouth allowing his tongue to slide against mine. My acceptance of him deepening the kiss must have given him the push he needed as his hands begin to roam my body. One hand settles on the side of my neck while the other one reaches down to grab a handful of my ass. He pulls me forward to feel his length starting to harden. I grab his waist slowly allowing my hands to reach under his shirt feeling the tan muscles underneath. I lightly scrape my nails across his abs as he pulls away.
"Is this the part where I ask you to fuck me?" I ask breathlessly.
He laughs rolling his eyes as he pulls me to his bedroom.
Needless to say, the fanfic writers were a hundred percent correct.
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baddyzarc ¡ 5 years ago
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5/7 Ruins: Legend of the Cursed Royal Palace
1 2 3 4a 4b x 6 7  
we like Vector. we’re not going to try to convince anyone that hes, like, a good person. Because he isn’t. But we do think he is a good character. Also we got the blog deleted while prepping this section so vector is cursed and we hate him
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Vector is a spectacle. But he’s is a bit of an awkward character, at least for an Emperor. Unlike the rest of the Barian Emperors, who are morally gray at worst, Vector is pure evil for the sake of it. And generally, villains who are evil for no reason are considered weaker among the cast of villains. Yet he shines through in how yikes he is, and he does have one valid(ish) reason for his appalling behavior. 
Vector’s story is one of the most fun out of the Emperors due to how unhinged he is. He is the only Emperor with a near-complete tale. But his story also mixes deeply into Nasch and Merag’s Legend, which creates some problems in how to organize this thing.  
To begin, let’s go to his ruins. 
Vector’s ruins are located in a dilapidated castle on his island.
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Personally, I have nothing to say about this location since this post already did an in-depth analysis on it. 
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The advanced machinery and layout is interesting. It reminds of the Winchester Mystery House, but that's about it. 
Vector’s story is divided into two categories. First is the story of the Legend of the Cursed Palace. This consists of only the text provided within the palace. The second is all the additional information we obtain through Vector’s memories, Nasch’s memories, and Abyss’ intervention. Because of this, Vector’s past is the most vast out of all the Emperors. But is is also the most confusing due to conflicting information.
The Legend of the Cursed Royal Palace is told to us by Rio, and it is rather simple. 
Long ago, there lived a cruel prince in a palace. The prince was so cruel that everyone died. The end. Vector was a childish king who lacked faith in humanity. He executed anyone he doubted by beheading them as he watched. According to the legend, when he was “the last one standing” he took his own life by stabbing himself with his sword. 
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That’s all the information from the ruins. This legend gets complicated with the rest of the story, so I’m gonna recount it as briefly as possible without any additional analysis. 
Starting all the way at the beginning, Vector was born as this little uggo peanut right here, and he was the herald of peace.
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He came from two persons that are complete opposites of each other. One is a kindly mother who desires peace and the other is a ruthless warlord who wants war.
While sleeping in his crib, the Mythyrian Card “Number 65: Split-Decision Djinn - Judge Buster” fell onto him from the sky. Vector absorbed the Number into his body.
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Years later, Vector’s father fell ill. Vector took over the kingdom, and he promised his mother and his citizens that he will bring peace to their kingdom. He did this by signing a peace treaty with the nations his father was warring against. 
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Angered by this, his father pulled out his sword and attempted to kill Vector with it. His mother shielded Vector with her body to protect him, resulting in her death. His father then collapsed from his illness and died on the spot. 
Vector mourned for a brief moment before Don Thousand approached him. Don Thousand embedded the Over-Hundred Monster “Number 104: Masquerade Magician - Shining” in him to make him believe he killed his parents, thus saying the lovely line “You shall not be the prince of tragedy, but a prince of madness” and Vector followed suit, becoming cruel and sadistic. 
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An unspecified amount of time passed before Vector ran into Nasch, Merag, and Durbe. 
Vector attacked Nasch’s kingdom with his fleet of ships and “Gorgonic Guardians”, which are Medusa-like monsters. Nasch counterattacks by using mirrors on them. As he was close to losing the battle, Vector performed a blood sacrifice to summon a god, which also happened to be Nasch’s Mythyrian Number “Number 73: Abyss Splash, the Roaring Waterfall Deity”. In order to purify Abyss, Merag sacrificed herself to summon another god, which is her Mythyrian Number “Number 94: Crystal Zero, the Princess of Polar Ice”.
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Nasch gained control of both gods and used them to force Vector to retreat. Vector ran as Nasch and Durbe pursued him, destroying villages and kingdoms as he did so. 
Eventually, Vector was cornered in a Labyrinth, where he tricked Nasch into sending his army to their death via a Shadow Game. Regardless, Nasch defeated Vector again.
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Vector fled back to his kingdom this time. In a fit of rage, he murdered everyone in his kingdom. Nasch followed him to the palace and found Vector surrounded by the dead bodies of his people.
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They had a final showdown; Vector lost once more. Upon losing and in Nasch’s words, “... those you murdered... dragged you into Hell”. 
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And that’s Vector’s story. 
Now, the only thing that is up for debate is how Vector died. The Legend of the Cursed Royal Palace stated that he committed suicide while Nasch’s recount said that the souls of his victims killed him. This may be a plot hole, but in the prior episode, both sides of this story were mentioned. Vector had a nightmare where he was being chased by the restless souls and Astral mentioned that the mad prince took his own life. Vector originally denies Nasch’s recount of his death at first, but quickly the souls manifest (because they were dueling on the field where Vector held his executions) to prove that this scenario did happen. This means that the writers are semi-aware of the situation, but they don’t state which is the true fate. 
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Since it is unknown who scribed the legend onto the ruins, Nasch and Vector’s shared memories + the final scene in the Vector vs. Nasch Duel outweighs what is written in the palace. 
If anything, it’s possible that the tormented souls drove Vector to the tipping point of his madness, resulting in Vector taking his own life to escape them. Although, that is just my interpretation.  
But from here, we can finally discuss Vector because he is just full of it. 
Firstly, I want to talk about genetics. Specifically these lines right here. 
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I find this extremely fun because there are two things at play here. First is that Zexal specifically states that his cruelty derives from his father—on the other hand, his kindness should derive from his mother—and second is that Don Thousand is able to kick this into overdrive. I doubt that the writers were thinking about any of this when they made this story, but this is a fun observation that I noticed (but if they were, kudos to them).  
Forcing some real-life concepts onto yugioh again, let’s talk about heritability. Heritability measures the variation between a trait of a parent (such as hair length, body size, temperament, ect.) and the traits of an offspring within a population of individuals. High heritability means that the phenotypes (physical characteristics) of the parents correlates to the phenotypes of the offspring, and vice-versa with low heritability. In humans, personality is a heritable trait, and in our species, one of the most heritable personalities is neuroticism. High neuroticism attributes to emotional instability and plays into emotions such as jealousy, loneliness, anxiety, anger, ect. 
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There are four other major personalities, but for this, I’ll focus on neuroticism. Honestly, you could put any trait here since any of them loosely applies to this concept.
Okay. So does this mean that Vector was doomed to a life like his father. His genetics oughta leaned him that way. But NO, no because humans are far more complicated than that, and genetics is not the only thing that affects a person's behavior. But it does influence it some, and this is the basis of it’s influence.
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What this says is that within a population, (genetics + environmental influence) = variation of a trait. Some phenotypes are heavily controlled by genetics while others are not. A simple example is if you have tall parents produce an offspring who have the genes for being tall (assume that it is moderately controlled by the environment). If the offspring grew up in a poor environment (less food or something) it will be short relative to the rest of the “tall” population. But if the offspring grew up in a good environment (more food), then it will be tall relative to the rest of the population. 
For the five different personalities in humans, each of them varies in how much it is influenced by genetics and how much of it is influenced by the environment (this is stingy since studying the effects of environmental influences on humans is very difficult and hard to replicate). But neuroticism is one that may have significant interactions between genetics and the environment. 
But enough science, let’s go back to Vector. Vector is really fun because his situation allows him to exist on all of the spectrums. He went from incredibly kind-hearted and peaceful to just not. This is possibly due to his inherited neuroticism and the environment he was exposed to.
It is likely that the “current” Vector’s neuroticism is rather high. Scoring high in neuroticism means that an individual tends to have low emotional stability, which attributes to frequent mood swings, high irritability, insecurity, and emotional volatility. This trait is more complex than that, but that’s the general gist of it. Most of this could be seen when it comes to how he treats others and how others treat him. 
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With Vector, he hates it when other people mock him or control him. This is why he despises Nasch for being better than him and why he betrays Don Thousand for toying with him. He is someone who needs to be in full control of the situation; this could be because of his insecurity (like, he got really pissed when Merag gained the upper hand and began to insult him during their duel). Vector is also described as being incredibly untrusting of other individuals, hence why he kills anyone he doubts. These traits are similar to that of his volatile father, whom he also shares a similar vocabulary with when describing people they hate, or anyone against war.
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On the other hand, scoring low in neuroticism means that an individual can handle stress very well. Often, they are calm and composed. This could only be seen in Vector prior to Don Thousand’s interference; i.e. when he was handling the kingdom after his father got ill. He also maintained his calm composure while his father scolded him and pulled a sword to kill him. 
His mother was kind and his father was not; Vector likely inherited some mix of neuroticism from them. Kindness and evilness was always inside Vector. And this allows him to exist as the kind “Rei Shingetsu” and the cruel “Vector” depending on the environment he was exposed to. 
So what were the different environments? I think it was the Mythyrian and Over-Hundred Numbers. 
Genetics played a role in shaping the core of Vector (“the same cruel blood as the king is running through you” and all) but it was the environmental influences added onto his core. Here’s a simple graphic. 
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Vector is a baby who inherited his father and mother’s neuroticism (perhaps he has an intermediate; I do not know the mode of inheritance of this). The Mythyrian Number card pushed him hard into the low neuroticism section. The Over-Hundred Number pushed him into the high neuroticism section, and this was where he stayed until his death by Don Thousand. 
What I’m getting is that the “gentle prince” persona is not the actual Vector, but a Vector under the influence of a Number Monster (albeit a kind one). You could say the same with the “Prince of Madness” Vector, that he is also a false Vector influenced by an evil Number Monster, but there’s some glaring evidence that this evil Vector is closer to the actual Vector than the kind one. I’ll get to this later when I talk about his Guardian.
It’s highly possible that a “Vector” untouched by the Numbers would have existed somewhere in the middle since his mother and father would be the environmental influences in that case (or maybe they would’ve pushed him to one side too). The closest we get may be the one at the very end of the show, where Vector is “not evil” but still a trickster, mischievous type of guy. 
Overall, Vector is a character who had great potential for kindness, as stated by Don Thousand, but he also had the greatest potential for darkness as well. Don Thousand took advantage of this and gave Vector the environmental influence he needed to become the cruel, lovable character we know today. 
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I just think it’s neat that Vector has a plausible reason why he went from baby to killer. 
Alrighty. So about those dang Number cards. 
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Both of these cards and their respective Chaos upgrades represent the two sides of Vector. “Number 65: Split-Decision Djinn - Judge Buster” to “Chaos Number 65: Split-Decision Demon King - Judge Devil” and “Number 104: Masquerade Magician - Shining” to “Chaos Number 104: Masquerade Magician - Umbral”. There is one specific play with these two that makes me enjoy Vector so much.
But before I get to that, I need to talk about the influence of each monster on Vector and his Guardian.
As stated previously, these monsters altered Vector’s personality. “Masquerade Magician” is the more obvious of the monsters. It’s a masquerade; it hides under a mask and fools people. That’s just a normal Vector. A neat factoid is that the “Shining” to “Umbral” at the end of “Masquerade Magician” is related to the reveal of Shingetsu to Vector. Shining obviously means light (hence the light-attribute) while umbral means shadow (hence the dark-attribute). Number 104 and its Number c104 were first played when Vector revealed himself to Yuma during the Sargasso Arc. Light to Shadow, Shingetsu to Vector. 
“Judge Buster” is more difficult due to its relationship as a Mythyrian Number. It is a monster who altered Vector to be as good as he can be. It is supposed to be a fair and truthful judge, the polar opposite of “Masquerade Magician”.
But this is where things get very complicated. Despite being Vector’s “good” card, it is no different than the Over-Hundred that infected him. From the perspective of his father: 
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Vector is a “cursed” child because he lacked any of the ruthless characteristics of his father. The way the Numbers “65” flashed on the screen is also similar to when other characters use or get possessed by a Number Monster. Vector was cursed, or possessed, to be a kind and gentle prince. In this case, despite being a very positive force on Vector’s life, the curse of a Number is still a curse. Eventually Vector loses his initial curse to inherit Don Thousand’s curse.
But the story of “Judge Buster” doesn’t end there. It continues into the story of Vector’s Guardian and it’s ascent into a Chaos Monster.
The Guardian of the Cursed Royal Palace is a very interesting one. Vector is unique because his Guardian is completely unrelated to his Mythyrian Number, unlike Jinlon and Abyss for example. Vector’s Guardian does not speak and can only be described as a feral, bloodthirsty beast.
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This guy is based off of another card called “Minotaurus” or (“Battle Ox” in the TCG). Despite not being related to the Mythyrian Number like the other Guardians, Minotaurus is completely related to Vector’s story. It’s flavor states “A cattle monster with tremendous power. It mows down anything with a single axe swing.” 
Now, there are several things to note here. An obvious one is that the Guardian is a Minotaur. In real life, the Minotaur derives from Greek Mythology. It is a beast that commonly resides in Labyrinths waiting for sacrificial maidens. With this detail, there is a direct connection to Vector’s story in two ways. 
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First is that Vector describes his palace as a “Labyrinth of Screams” and second is that he lured Nasch into a Labyrinth to kill him. Two very prominent settings in the Vector’s story. 
Minotaurus is a deliberate choice made by the writers to tie this theme together, but this is just a neat easter egg. It is the actions of Minotaurus is what counts. 
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The other thing is that Minotaurus’ weapon of choice, its axe, is located on the execution slab where Vector beheads his enemies.
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Finally, and the one that I think is the most interesting and peculiar, is that the axe has Vector’s Mythyrian Number embedded in it. 
This is highly significant because if we look at all the other low-grade Emperors, their Mythyrian Numbers were abandoned when Don Thousand infected them (and they died shortly afterwards while Vector lived a part of his life with his Over-Hundred inside of him). In the end, most of the Mythyrian Numbers we see are held on a pedestal, or given some type of reverence in the afterlife. 
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Vector’s card has an axe going through it, like he was trying to get rid of it. 
There’s a lot of assumptions to be made here with the most basic argument being that this detail bears no significance to Vector. BUT my theory is that the spirit of the card manifested to him at some point after he became a ruthless warrior. “Judge Buster” may have been trying to help him, or it was trying to convince him that the Over-Hundred infected his mind. Since Vector is a character filled with doubt and trust-issues, he likely ordered his executioner (Minotaurus or someone else) to behead “Judge Buster”. 
(Also, Vector said he noticed that Don Thousand altered his memories “a long time ago”? It was never stated how Vector found out. I think that he may have gotten this critical information when “Judge Buster” manifested in his past life. Perhaps it told him everything that happened. This means that Vector known the truth about his fate since his past life, and given his slick shrewdness and foresight, perhaps)
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So you know when I said that “evil” Vector is probably closer to the “true” Vector than the kind one? It’s due to his relationship with his Mythyrian Number. From this possible encounter in their past life, the end result is that Vector actively rejected the Mythyrian Number’s blessing to accept his cruel heritage, which is thoroughly reinforced in this scene. 
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In his duel against Nasch, Vector used “XYZ Discharge” to give Nasch all of his monsters to feint surrender after he found out about his true past. Vector immediately turned around and used “Trick Buster” to blow them up and kill Nasch while his guard was down. This move tells us everything we need to know about Vector. Vector knows of his two lives as a “good” and “terrible” person, and he chose to actively ignore them. The card “Trick Buster” could be seen as a combination of his two curses and what Vector got out of it. “Trick” comes from the trickster nature of “Masquerade Magician” and “Buster” comes from “Judge Buster”. Like with his past encounter with “Judge Buster” (which should’ve been able to repel the curse of the Over-Hundred) Vector rejected and executed his Mythyrian Number as he did with this new, possible redemption. 
He made that choice. He made both of these choices on his own free will. This is a major reason why Vector is described as “evil for evil’s sake”. When given a chance at redemption after he “found out” about his true past, instead of rejecting the life that Don Thousand gave him, Vector staight up said he doesnt give a fuck if he was supposed to be a good person. It’s kind of incredible and I think that’s just,,, wow i love him. 
And to add onto this fact, we need to talk about the Mythyrian Chaos Numbers, which is an oxymoron in the Zexal universe. “Judge Buster” and “Abyss Splash” (Vector and Nasch’s Mythyrians respectively) are the only Mythyrians who become Chaos monsters as well as being the only Emperors who use their own Mythyrian Numbers (Gilag doesn’t count due to raccoon-related shenanigans). This holds some discussion between these two, but I can’t really talk about it until I talk about Nasch.
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However, what I want to say is that Vector chooses to use his Mythyrian Number. Although he randomly summoned it with a card effect, Vector plays his Mythyrian Number. Likewise in my discussion with Alito’s ruins, the Mythyrian Numbers have a purifying effect on the Emperors. It reveals their true, unaltered personalities. By choosing to use a Mythyrian and subsequently revealing his true nature, the cruel person we see is just how Vector is. His usage of “Trick Buster” backs this up. I don’t think it's a coincidence that Vector and Nasch, arguably the strongest of the Emperors, are also the ones who accept their Mythyrian Numbers yet still end up in Barian World. They are also the only ones that were able to Chaosify their Mythyrians, with Nasch performing a proper Chaos summon while Vector pulled into “Chaos Number 65: Split-Decision Demon King - Judge Devil” by luck.
Because of his denial of the Mythyrian Number despite being aware of its existence, Vector is the only Emperor that isn’t described as heroic in his legend. By being an active participant in his descent into Barian World, Vector cannot have a heroic legend like the others. He is simply a vile person who likely deserved his spot in Barian World. 
Now that we got that down, why did Vector end up in Barian World despite being his “true personality”? A simple answer is that Barian World represents Hell, and Vector deserved to go there. However, it’s repeatedly stated in the show that Chaotic persons end up in Barian World, not bad persons. 
And Chaos is complex due to the range of characters it goes through.
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Like, this is a massive list of personalities, and they are all canon Chaos creatures. 
And if you haven't noticed, I haven’t discussed the Cursed Royal Palace’s duel yet. This is because it occurred between Black Mist and Astral, and it has little relevance to Vector himself. However, that battle ties into the complexities of Chaos that I will continue with Nasch and Merag’s Legend, as well as the rest of Vector’s story.  
Bye.
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deans-mind-palace ¡ 5 years ago
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Forget Me Not (Pt.4)
Pairing: Castiel x Reader
Word Count: 1,737
Warnings: Angst, maybe fluff. Scars
Author’s Note: Tomorrow will be the final part. So enjoy this before the big final. And sorry that it is a bit late!
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3  // Part 5
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A long time ago God created a flower. But one day he forgot its name and it was very sad that God had forgotten it. So God renamed the flower Forget-me-not as a promise to never forget it again.
"What's wrong, Cassy?" you asked and he closed his eyes at your nickname for him. Pain and guilt ran through him. He'd left you alone back then. It was one thing he couldn't forgive himself for after all this time. He'd failed at his most important job and it almost got you killed. Still, he forced himself to smile. "It's nothing. I am really happy that you are here," he replied and took you in his arms again. But even hugs were just a way to hide his face. What was he just thinking when he kissed you? You were just a child the last time he saw you. But you had grown up so much. You were so beautiful. How could he ever have left you? He should have been there for you then, instead he obeyed God and left you alone when you needed him most.
Your angel was behaving strangely. He was honestly glad to see you, you believed him. At last you could see for yourself. But still something was wrong. Sure, the kiss had probably been inappropriate, but still he had kissed you back and then pushed you away. It was not like the reunion you had imagined in your most beautiful dreams all these years. Every night you had spent trembling with cold under a bridge, when you had lost all your money playing billiards. Then you dreamed about seeing him again. To look into his blue eyes. And each time you looked up into the night sky where the black clouds passed by. You were sure he was there somewhere, and one day, when the time was right, you'd see him again. It was that thought that kept you alive all these years.
You got along well with the Winchester brothers, and little by little, Sam told you their own tragic story - and how they met Castiel. It was soon decided that you would join the unlikely team and for the first time you felt like having a family again. It was an indescribable feeling that you had almost forgotten. All that time, Castiel never left your side. He was always near you, and soon you began to get a feeling for him again. It wasn't until you had him back that you realized you missed him even more than you thought. Every hunt, every breakfast and every shopping trip he was with you. Almost like he was trying to make up for something. Making up for lost time. You enjoyed being reunited with him. None of you could deny the attraction between you, yet you pretended it didn't exist. But it was as obvious as a pink elephant on the beach, although Cas had made it very clear to you how he thought about it. But there was one exception.
The first night, he came to your bed, just like back then. You hadn't noticed him and he had scared the hell out of you, but you just managed to keep yourself from pulling your gun. That would probably have just made him more insecure. He stood a little lost at your bed and without words you slipped aside, just like in your childhood. He immediately understood the invitation and sat down on your bed. Then he leaned against the headboard and you bedded your head on his chest. When he pulled you closer with one arm and under the cover of the darkness of the night he pressed a kiss on your forehead, you knew that he would stay. As soon as the sun would rise and Dean and Sam would wake up, everything would be the same again. But that one moment in the night, almost unreal, that belonged only to you and him. In that moment, there were no demons threatening the world and whatever else was lurking out there in the blackness that had lain down outside the window.
The darkness made everything seem surreal. And everything that happened in the darkness remained in the darkness, like a blurred dream that you tried to remember the next morning, but the more you tried the more it slipped away. So he came every night where the darkness protected you and watched you sleep. The nights passed without words. Only once you thought you could hear his deep voice softly as you were about to enter the border of the kingdom of dreams. "I have missed you." Then you felt his lips against your cheek. A smile appeared on your lips, and unseen in the dark room, you took his hand. For a moment you were no longer a broken huntress and no longer a doubting angel. In the darkness you were simply two beings who needed the closeness of the other. The next morning everything was the same.
Even though Castiel was almost back to his old self, something was still bothering him. You felt it at night especially when you slept next to him. Yet the angel never revealed his secret. You secretly believed that he didn't know you were watching. The silent glances into the void. But you did. Every time he thought you weren't looking, his gaze drifted away and a dark shadow covered the beautiful blue of his eyes.
You spent a lot of time alone with Cas, often you got along without words and just being close to the other person, so you didn't ask any questions. Soon you had settled in well with the Winchesters. You went hunting together and saved lives. That was what you were good at, what you really were capable of, no confusing emotions, just pure instinct.
However, even the best instinct could fool you. So it was on this one hunt that didn't go quite so smoothly. It was only your third hunt together and you were already a well-coordinated team, but all of you had underestimated the task. You had barely escaped the Trickster and each of you had had to take a few punches. Wounds and scratches adorned your skin, especially you had gotten some. Cas had rushed to you immediately and had carried you all the way to the car, even though you had assured him that this was completely unnecessary. He did not listen to you at all. You started to protest but he hushed you.
"Y/N!" Your angel scowled and immediately flew you back to a nearby motel where the two brothers would soon arrive. Although Cas had kept you save most of the time, he could not prevent everything. He did not even care about the two brothers, but took you away. He had healed all superficial wounds, but didn't know about the one on your belly. He put you on the bed and inspected the healed scratches on your face. "Cas." you tried to calm him down as he frantically searched your body for wounds. The angel did not hear you. He avoided your gaze. "Cas, I'm fine. These are just scratches, nothing more!" you said in dismay, but the wound on your belly continued to bleed. It burned from the splinter of wood that you had removed yourself unobserved after being thrown onto a table. For some reason, you felt that it would not be good if the angel found out about the wound. But Castiel seemed delusional, and you couldn't get through to him. "Castiel!" Angrily, you grabbed his hands and held them until he finally looked you in the eyes. You saw the fear and anxiety in them flickering. Fear of what? "Please, Y/N," he almost begged. "Just let me heal you!" Surprised, you let go of his hands. What was wrong with him? "Cas, calm down! What's wrong?" You looked at him, but he avoided you. "Take your shirt off, Y/N," he asked nervously. "I - what?" you said in surprise, but then you saw the panic in his eyes again and you obeyed. "Okay. Okay. All right. You see?" Immediately you put your dirty shirt over your head and threw it aside. His eyes slid over your body and caught on the wound. They widened in fright.
" Heaven, Y/N. You're hurt!" His voice trembled and so did his fingers as he put them on your wound and began to heal it. You knew that he could have healed you without touching you, but you kept your mouth shut. Silently you watched the wound close and felt the pain fading away. Then his eyes wandered over the rest of your body, which was covered with white scars.
"Y/N." he'd gasp at the sight. "I-I'm so sorry. I could have prevented this. I should have been there." Surprised, you looked at him, while he traced a thin line on your waist. It never occurred to you that he could have prevented it.
"What? No, Castiel, it's okay." You muttered, and your hand went through his short brown hair. 
"It's okay, see? Just scars, that's all." He closed his eyes. "I'm responsible for your scars. I should have been there. I should have been there to take care of you." You couldn't hear it anymore. You gently lifted his chin.
"Look at me, Castiel." and his bright blue eyes met yours. "There's nothing you could have done. You had to go then. Besides, if it weren't you, I wouldn't be here today. In fact I would have bled to death in my bed that one night all those years ago. Do you understand me? It's not your fault!" you said to him. But there was something else. You felt it.
"Castiel, what is it? Tell me." You didn't feel his face getting closer to yours. And then suddenly something in his eyes changed. He pulled you close and pressed his lips gently to yours. The kiss was so tender that it almost took your breath away. He buried his hands in your hair and left you no time to react before he ended the kiss. "I have feelings for you that I shouldn't have. Not after everything that has happened." "I - What? Castiel!" you stuttered in surprise, but with a rustling of feathers he was gone before you finished.
Did he just confess his love to you?
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65 notes ¡ View notes
defenderrosetyler ¡ 3 years ago
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APHS: Chapter 4
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A/N: Chapter 4 is finally here! Thanks to @flamencodiva​ for my Beta as well as some ideas! She also has a companion fic to this! The Frog Princess! WC:  2162 TW; Blood Mention
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Storybrooke Time seemed to pass rather quickly since Graham’s death. Emma had become a permanent resident in Storybrooke, taking over Graham’s position as Sheriff of Storybrooke. Back at home, Sam was still arguing with Ruby. What did this woman not understand? Sam didn’t want to be with her anymore, especially when Sam heard that she had been sleeping around with other men. Besides Sam’s constant arguments with Ruby, which were growing annoying and tiresome, Sam was attempting to try and repair what relationship he had with Y/N. He’d noticed Dean was trying to help out Amaya, the young woman who owned the Amphibian Emporium. He knew that those two had a rocky relationship, especially when the brothers had dinner at Granny’s as usual when they weren’t eating at their own apartments after a long day’s work.
  “How are things with Y/N?” Dean asks, changing the subject of Sam talking about him and Amaya.  The elder brother knew Sam was finally kicking Ruby out of his apartment and made him feel a little better.  Yes, Sam and Y/N had their arguments. Hell, even he and Amaya had arguments, but something told him there was a connection between Sam and Y/N. “Haven’t really spoken to her since she came into Granny’s the night Graham died.” He admits with a shrug. “You still having those crazy-ass dreams?” Sam asks his younger brother. Dean had been having nightmares and hearing voices when he slept at night. Sam didn’t want to tell anyone yet, but he had them too. The dreams he had were different from Dean’s. But both of them had been spending more time with the Mayor’s son. Dean rubbed the back of his neck, desperately wanting to change the subject. “I picked up extra work,” He commented. This made Sam blink his eyes. “Besides working at the garage and working as a sub gym teacher, you picked up another job?” Sam asks in shock. Dean hesitated a moment too long, which made Sam sit up a little straighter in his chair. “This is the part where you tell me where you're working?” Sam huffed impatiently. “Yes, I took another job,“ Dean mutters after several moments of silence. Trying to brush off the subject.
The anger in Sam's face radiated with heat. Yes, they had funds to owe Rowena, but now Dean had to get another job? “Listen, don't worry about me, Sam, alright?” Dean replied with a simple shrug.
“You-You’re kidding, right?” Sam scoffed, running a hand over his face in an attempt to calm down his temper. Dean was clearly trying to brush him off, but Sam wasn't letting him hide a secret from him.
“What on Earth could you possibly be doing to help with work, Dean? I'm already busting my ass as it is, with what little work I have.” Dean was now starting to become irritated now. His own face grew warm as his anger built. Why wouldn't Sam drop this?
“You said don't worry about you?” Sam continues, seeing Dean's face change, hoping this push would be what he needed to say to get Dean to tell him why he took on extra work. Dean's arms crossed his chest. Clearly, he wasn't revealing why.
“Dean, I'm your brother!” Sam says, raising his voice into a yell. “Why won't you tell me?”
Dean's eyes narrowed, his chest rising and falling as he took shaky breaths. “Just drop it, Sam!” He says through clenched teeth.
 Sam wasn't dropping this. Crossing his own arms, Sam's hazel eyes stared into his brother's emerald green ones. Waiting for an answer. Dean stood his ground. Being family was one thing, but did he have to reveal every little part of his life to Sam? Sure, Sam had secrets from him. Why couldn't Dean have this? Seeing that Sam wasn't standing down either, Dean scoffed, glaring at him.
“The other job is because Amaya needed my help.” Dean says irritably, “She was behind on her rent, and Gold was threatening to shut her down!” Sam stood from his chair, pulling at his hair. Groaning both inwardly as well as vocally. “Is this because you can’t keep your promises to her?” He says with a scoff. “Or is this you trying to impress her, now that she’s with Trenton and not you?” Dean groaned, rolling his eyes before standing to switch all the garage lights off. His body tensed hearing his name. “Do me a favor, Sammy?” Dean says, in a miffed tone, “Worry about your own life for once and work on getting Ruby out of your apartment.” Apparently, this topic was closed for the time being. ------ Enchanted Forest “Gabriel was looking for you,” Bobby, the stable master, says as he watches the younger prince approach riding Onyx. Sam felt exhausted from riding from the Charmings. Hearing that the Fairy, who was head of Winchester Castle archives, was looking for him? Hopefully, he was bearing good news. On his way to the archives, however, his mother and father apparently had other ideas. His father cleared his throat as his younger son passed by without greeting. With an internal groan, Sam turned to greet his father, bowing as a sign of respect, even if it was just a nod of his head. “Samuel, I have someone I would like to introduce you to,” John says, placing a welcoming hand on the woman who stood beside him. The woman had brunette hair that fell just above her breasts. Her gown was a deep burgundy red in the Irish style that flowed to the floor. It was laced in the front with black ribbon trim. The ends of the sleeves, on both elbows, down the front in a thin line dropping from the neckline,  were covered in a soft black fabric. 
On top of the black material were delicate silver swirls, making the dress shimmer in the sunlight. The brunette gave a short yet polite curtsy as John introduced her, “Son, say hello to Princess Ruby of  Avrinyth on the Isle of Dagua.” “A pleasure to meet you, your highness.” Ruby greeted, giving Sam a bright smile. “Your father had told me so much about you in his letters, but let me assure you, your portraits do not do you justice. You are more handsome in person.” She says in almost a flirtatious tone. Sam cleared his throat, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. He knew that Ruby had a reputation for sleeping with other men and even being a mistress for some of them. Then again, those are just rumors possibly, but who knows. Sam had other things to worry about right now. Still, remembering his manners again, Sam gave a short yet polite nod. “Forgive me, Princess Ruby, but I have a meeting that I’m late for.” He says, moving to rush off before his father could stop him Watching his youngest son run off down the corridor, he sighed, hanging his head as he looked apologetically at Ruby. “I am so sorry for my son’s behavior. It appears that his mind is still hooked on making sure Odette returns back to the palace alive. He claims to have found her but has no proof to his claims.” Ruby offers the king a kind smile, but something seems a bit off to him. The way her eyes shined, almost mischievously, had King John wondering if Sam had the right idea about her. “First loves,” the princes said, “are very hard to forget, Your Highness.” The king couldn’t help but agree as he turned to face his wife, “indeed they are, young Princess. Indeed they are.” “John, why don’t you have one of the guards escort the princess to her room? Allow her time to get settled in from such a long journey.” After a pause, seeing the same glint in Ruby’s eyes as her husband had. “We’ll all meet down for dinner shortly.” Mary smiled, linking her arm with her husband. The king cleared his throat, nodding at one of the nearby guards. John and Mary left with a slight bow in Ruby’s direction before leaving towards their chambers. Once alone, John cleared his throat, keeping his gaze forward as he talked in hushed tones to his queen. “Her reputation precedes her,” John says, clearing his throat, “She is indeed a beautiful woman, but there is also the rumor about her sharing another man’s bed.” “That rumor may be true, but we have our kingdom to worry about,” Mary adds, stopping just outside their door before heading inside. “Dean will take over, you know this, Mary,” John sighed. “I have a feeling that our eldest will help bring another kingdom into our fold.” Mary blinked in a bit of amazement, finding herself speechless as she looked at her husband. “John, you honestly believe that the kingdom of Irinica will agree to such a match?” Opening the door to their chambers, allowing Mary to enter first, John nodded. “You know as well as I that Dean made a promise to help the Princess, after all,” he says, pausing for a moment, “A promise given is a promise kept. And I can’t help but feel that there is more to the Kingdom of Irinica. As if we’ve all forgotten something important about it.” ---- Storybrooke The argument with Dean had Sam still fuming. Worry about himself for once and not his elder brother’s issues? Weren’t they a family? Wasn’t family supposed to help each other? Sam couldn’t go home. He knew all too well that Ruby hadn’t moved out yet. She’d barely touched any of her belongings. Sam wasn’t in the mood to even touch her things. If he had his way about it, he’d toss everything in a box, leaving it outside his door. True, he and Dean had spent an afternoon packing her clothes. However, that was as far as it went. Trying to think of something to do, Sam happened upon an idea. There was a specific person he wanted to visit. Well, their grave anyway. With a heavy heart, Sam makes his way to Storybrooke Cemetery. Across town, Y/N stood in the office with Rowena and her son. “Rowena, please, I’ve been working hard to pay off my debt. You can’t just make me leave. How else am I going to make my payments to pay you back!” She argued. Trying to hold back the emotion in her voice. A mix of sadness and begging was in her tone. “If you had just agreed to marry me when I first offered, sweetheart,” Crowley says, leaning against the filing cabinet, arms crossed as his gaze focused on her. “Then, perhaps we wouldn’t be in this little predicament.” Since Crowley had brought Y/N into Rowena’s office during this entire conversation,  she had been absently scribbling on her notes. Not writing anything in particular, but it made her seem distracted and uninterested. The girl had been offered her son as a bargain. In exchange,  Rowena would pay Y/N’s Father’s funeral and hospital bills. However, the stubborn girl had refused, resulting in their agreement of Y/N working off her debt. “I’ve said it over and over, but you just don’t get it!” Y/N shouted, her tone becoming more clipped and irritated. This time, her anger was poised at Crowley instead of his mother. “I will not marry you. You can offer me all the money in the world. However, my answer remains the same. No.” For the first time since Y/N had entered her office, Rowena’s gaze lifted from her writing, tone flat, almost as a threat. “Then dearie, I suggest you find employment elsewhere. Just because you don’t have a job doesn’t mean I’ll find ways to make sure the money you owe is repaid.” “I’m not as bad as you claim me to be.” Crowley tries to add as a final plea for her to see reason and accept the bargain. “I’ll be a good husband for you.” Clearly, Y/N’s words were not clear enough for them to understand. With an aggravated scoff, she glared at the pair. “Use my last paycheck to go towards whatever I owe you,” She snapped. Storming out of the building, Y/N did all she could to wait till she was away from prying eyes before the tears flowed freely from her eyes. There was only one place she wanted to be, somewhere she knew she could be alone. Her father’s grave. As she made her way through the cemetery, someone was sitting in front of it. They were whispering as if getting things off his chest. Approaching the figure in the dark, Y/N was shocked as she looked at the man sitting beside her Fathers grave.  “Sam?” She lets out in a breath, “what on earth are you doing here.” Sam looked nervous that he’d been caught out here, but all he could respond with were two words. “Evening, Y/N.”
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