#and my heart is slowly healing

[justanotherdrfan]

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[mwagneto]

i truly am losing my mind tho coz like i literally spent weeks/years waiting to see if ofmd/gomens was bait and they're NOT. and they're both getting explicitly romantic promos and little hearts in the posters and the mcs kissing on screen coz they're canonically in looove it's all so. ohhmy fucking god

[mukimokai]

hey you!!!

wanna hear one of my fic ideas for a canon rewrite that will absolutely shatter your heart????

yeah...

you've been warned..

.

TW!!!

dr//g ab*se, attempted su!c!de

⠀

alhaitham attempted to overdose after the argument with kaveh over their thesis.

.

they basically screamed each others throats off that day; they've argued over their differing ideals before but it was never this bad, and the fight eventually got a bit physical, and there was a lot of hairpulling, scratching, pulling each other up by the collar, because they weren't just arguing about the thesis anymore, they were mad at each other. until alhaitham pointed out kaveh's fatal flaw, how his altruism is going to fail him one day, and kaveh, who can't handle the truth, yanks at alhaithams hair again, telling him to fuck off, that he wishes he never met him, all through pained, angry tears. and then, he lets go and leaves, bolting out the front door and not even bothering to close it.

it was one of the first times in alhaitham's life that he had ever let his emotions get the better of him, and he watched kaveh run out of the door, panting and shaking, tears prickling the corners of his eyes out of pure, unadulterated frustration. and alhaitham realizes at this moment that he'd lost someone. again.

oh yes, alhaitham's all alone again!! no one cares about him anymore!! he'd just lost the last person in the world who gave a damn!! silly alhaitham!! all because you're you. because you had to open your mouth again. because you had to say something. all you wanted was to help, but nobody understands that. nobody ever will. to them, you're just a cold, calculated, arrogant, cocky, bastard. and look what you've done now.

the thought breaks him, and he crumbles to the ground in what can only be described as a meltdown, a very violent one. vases are shattered, kitchen wear chucked across the room, books thrown around carelessly, all while he screams curses into the air, directed at no one, maybe at Kusanali, maybe at Celestia, who knows, but he screams anyway, bordering on babbles as he stumbles to his room, dizzy and distressed and grabs the bottle of prescription drugs (working on what kind of drug currently). It's not full, it's almost empty actually, only about 10 tablets at the bottom, but alhaitham, hands shaking, laughs incredulously at himself, and eats all of them.

or at least: tries to...

the commotion he'd made upset his neighbours. initially, they were storming over to his house with the Matra beside them to have him taken care of but upon arrival, they were horrified. The matra with them practically tackled alhaitham, making him spit out the 3 pills he had in his mouth when they found him in his room; he had already taken 5. they dragged him to the bimarstan as fast as he could, the neighbours following in terror and worry.

alhaitham was saved that day and the memory still haunts him. he was so clouded with emotion he'd lost all sense of what he was doing and just felt, and it scared him how his own feelings took control of him. At that point, alhaitham only closed up even further, basically forcing on his poker face and shoving down his feelings because he never wanted to feel so vulnerable again. he doesn't want to feel. it hurts to feel. strong feelings only bring pain. more pain than alhaitham could bear.

so alhaitham chose to hide this story, he never told anyone about it, not even a single detail. but kaveh, who moved back in eventually and now lived with alhaitham for about a year since their argument, was tidying up when he found a bottle of pills under alhaitham's bed, it was practically empty, only 2 pills remained.

concerned, he questions alhaitham about it later and it was the first time he'd seen alhaitham genuinely look scared. when kaveh explained he'd found it under his bed, alhaitham snatched away the bottle and disposed of it in the trash, cursing himself for not having found it last year when the incident happened and couldn't believe it had been there the whole time.

kaveh isn't an idiot, he pieced it together the moment he saw alhaitham's reaction. he just stands there, completely speechless and horrified. all he can say is "when..?"

and alhaitham, for the first time since their school years, responds in a shaky, miserable voice, "a year ago."

and kaveh is stunned, just staring at alhaitham, who seemed so unreachable when he moved in, suddenly looking so heartbreakingly vulnerable.

he doesn't say anything.

kaveh just hugs him, buries alhaitham's face into his shoulder and hugs him. and he swears he can hear soft, weak sounds coming from the scribe, and he swears the fabric over his shoulders became damp, but he doesn't say anything.

he just holds him.

i'm sorry. come at my throat all you'd like.

⠀

⠀

⠀

[pepperpixel]

“put me on a pedestal and i’ll only disappoint you

tell me i’m exceptional, and i promise to exploit you

gimme all your money, and i’ll make some origami honey!

i think you’re a joke!!! …but i don’t find you very

fuuuuuuu~nyyy”

More tagr art!!! Assorted stuff this time! Featuring some cute chibi stuff. Some solo gaz’s, a lil uhhh. Comic of an altercation.. and a very belated Halloween pic I started drawing last Halloween and didnt finish lol. Also featuring lyrics from pedestrian at best cuz that song rllly rlly fits my ver of tak lol.

[transsextual]

had a really incredible moment this evening. went to my campus art market where one of my friends was selling the tank top i'm wearing - another friend bought it for me and i'm so overjoyed to have it. usually a fit that leans more Traditionally Masculine feels like a costume but tonight it just felt deeply correct and honest and warm. took the opportunity to take some indulgent little pictures because i do not think i have Ever looked more like myself. so happy.

[darabeatha]

ㅤThen I heard your heart beating.ㅤ You were in the darkness too.ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ... So I stayed in the darkness with you.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Finally got the chance to finish the Beach Episode

I am. in pain.

[heartbreak-one-oh-one]

three-quarters (zero displacement)

one year is one revolution of the earth around the sun 

march follows february follows january 

time progresses linearly

 

(most of the time) 

may follows april follows march 

the earth orbits around the sun

 inscribes an imperfect annual ring 

(a circle has no beginning nor end) 

(an orbit has no start and does not end) 

while time marches on, rhythm unceasing 

space realigns, ending shifting into beginning 

mark another x on your calendar 

convince yourself this is progress 

but as we make another turn, 

asymptotic to the sun 

are we spiralling to the end or 

circling back to the start?

 

- d.l.y.y.

[gleeksfreaksandwannabes]

Ok, we’re back with some more “Dean is dealing with some heavy shit but maybe he’s in the right place to get some help and he’s making the author cry as she writes it”

[twinknote]

totally normal of me to start crying upon seeing that my uncle bought more apple juice for me. totally not indicative of my familial trauma btw. i’m sure that people cry over juice all the time

[the-fatal-impact]

I feel absolutely ready to give all my intimate feeling I once shared with Dragon Age to Baldur’s Gate III.

[pttucker]

"…Who was his target, anyway?" "You just woke up, but you're already so full of questions. How annoying." I sat on the bed, eyes blinking like an idiot. She pointed to my chest again. Upon taking a closer look, there were two [Modifier Necklaces] hanging around my neck. One of them was Asmodeus's Modifier, [Devil of Lust and Wrath], while the other one was… [□□ of □□] The places where my Modifier should've been were replaced by empty holes, instead. "No way?" "Yes, way." Well, at least he did leave behind 'Of'. That son of a bitch.

I KNEW IT!

Awwww, but he really has forgiven him, hasn't he? 😭

He even gave him the last syllable he needed to move to the next section. 😭💖

And Dokja picked up on the fact that he said he's a former Regressor!

Not the Regressor Yoo Joonghyuk, but a former Regressor. What was he thinking about when he told me that?

idk Dokja, maybe that's his way of telling you that he's made his final choice to stay in this life. With the guy who transformed him from this mindless, emotionless killing machine known only as "Regressor," back into the Yoo Joonghyuk he was before.

Oh, and I guess Joonghyuk didn't get dragged into the Library after all. Which is definitely for the best, I think. Joonghyuk yelling at Dokja while he's trying to do stuff would probably not be conducive to a friendly, non-stress work environment. 😂

...or if he did get dragged in, Dokja doesn't remember any of it.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i know it took ten like 3 seconds to regrow an arm after he lost it but that was Just an arm. if 13 goes splat, she should take at least a whole episode to look like she isn’t going to bleed to death any minute.

[sadghostgirl14]

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

[science-lings]

idk if this rly fits into what you want, but one thing i hc is that there's seemingly no consequences at first (so link still gets his arm back and zelda doesn't have any dragon qualities) but in the first few weeks to months post-totk things start Happening. link's arm starts dying, so he has to have it traditionally amputated, zelda starts developing stuff like horns and more claw-like nails and small patches of scales all over her body. this way you still get the ending scene of link catching her but you also still get the consequences

no, this is also interesting. I feel like the decline would have to be really sudden and drastic, if it gets bad enough for his arm to have to be traditionally amputated and unable to be healed by any other means, it would have to be pretty severe. Maybe Rauru was able to preserve Link's arm but only for like a day or two before the magic wore off. Maybe there are some parts of Zelda's body that are already dragon-y that we can't see that ends up spreading. Maybe whatever magic happened in that scene with Rauru and Sonia was only kind of temporary. We already know that Link's arm was too damaged to be saved when it was replaced with Rauru's, and we can never really know if Zelda was completely back to normal after being turned back. It's definitely an idea that's interesting to think about...