#and my head hurts from crying all day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

needylittlegirl · 3 months

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anyone else ever get so scared to go to sleep you have an anxiety attack or is that just me

#i feel so unsafe all the time <3 so going to sleep feels like hell sometimes #and i just have really bad nightmares #like wake up shaking and sobbing level nightmares for no reason #i really really dont want to go to sleep #thats why i stay up late all the time cause id rather just be exhausted #than feel vulnerable and have to deal with my nightmares #my chest hurts and its all red cause i #have this horrible habit of digging my nails into my skin when im crying and it hurts #and my head hurts from crying all day #i just want everything to stop hurting #tbd

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opikiquu · 3 months

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.Aventurine. Aventurine. Boy wh y

#★ arin rambles #★ my art #my best friend finished aventurines boss in 1 try #(i was stuck so i never knew what happened after)#wish she never did #im filled with so much sorrow #THE NOTE. THE NOTE THE NOTE THE NOTE #HE. CARES HE CARES SO M #IM DOOMED #IM TOO LITTLE FOR ALL THIS SADNESS #SO MUCH . TEARS . TOO MANY SAD. WHY. WHYYY MEEEE #The note……… Im never ever gonna drop this ever #Aventurine’s story will haunt me forever #(affectionately)#so good….. but like in a painful way. Like ive been crying for 3 days now #today was the worst offense. MY HEAD HURTS STILL #SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE CALLED escape penacony obby!#ill stop rambling now . I need . Rest. Or a ratiorine overdose whichever i find first #i hope my best friends dont see these tags they’ll think im pathetic #And i am. But nobody has to know that #THE NOTE— Okay fine ill stop ILL STOP #hsr penacony spoilers #hsr penacony #penacony #dr ratio x aventurine #dr ratio #aventurine x dr ratio #aventio #ratiorine #hsr aventurine

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brainrotdotorg · 3 months

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My grandmother had a stroke . Shes lucid and out of surgery right now so i am thankful for that. Going to be staying at my grandparents place tonight. Drove a super long way to come back and im so so so tired and i have a cold n cant stop coughing and i miss my boyfriend and i dont want to drive ever again

#not doing well. my head hurts. im just exhausted and trying to sleep #but my nose is stuffed #im just glad my grandmother is doing better than the doctors expectee #i was so scared i was crying like half the drive back home #awful car crash on the high way thd blocked the roads for two hours. two cars completely totaled.#scared the shit out of me.#started raining like ive never seen before when i was on the road too. could barely see ten feet ahead of me #ive just been so on guard all day long and nos im laying in bed trying to decompress #before i pick my mom up from the airport #idk man.

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berryblu-soda · 11 days

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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly #our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd #also oh goshhhh #so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway #my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car #but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me #last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed #no seatbelt for her obviously #she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair #i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha #i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever #half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye #dammit im crying now hahaha #saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo #but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently #that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age #it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral #did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think #a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around #now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha #freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!

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theokusgallery · 4 months

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The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

#siiiiiiigh...#im sorry i need him to hold sunny gently and tells him he loves him and yes he'll say it in horrible unhinged ways BUT #poor man who does not know how to love and does not know he can be loved. he is convinced he needs to manipulate people to make them stay #writing down arsenic lore for tosteur like two days ago made me so emotional about him. shaking and crying #there's not even like An Event it's just that his whole childhood sucks and he's never been accepted by anyone and he's so lonely and #(starts crying)#he does horrible horrible things but all he does to sunny truly comes from love. deeply inhumane and twisted love but love nonetheless #(except when he's being a selfish ass who doesn't have any sort of morals and generally doesn't give a shit about other people. of course)#god he's such a horrible person (/simplification) i love him #he does not care about hurting other people and only cares about his own selfish desires #he thinks he can do anything he wants and if other people get hurt by his actions it's not his problem #don't you DARE touch a single hair on sunny's head. not in a 'i care about my bf' way btw.#but because if sunny gets hurt. he has to deal with that and 1) it's boring unless it brings him something and 2) that's *his* plaything.#even when he does nice things for sunny he doesn't make it just to make sunny happy #he does it so that sunny will associate happiness with him and stay.#that's what he thinks consciously at least. he always had ulterior motives for everything he does #it doesn't really make him calculating because it's automatic at this point. it just makes him deeply selfish #my poor little boy who has never had anyone genuinely care about him before...#which doesn't excuse shit of course but hhhh i love him so much.#(D if you see this. this is about the OC not the guy. of course)#arsenic #rant #sometimes i think about nick like a normal person ('he's so awful and interesting') and sometimes i just slhrflfbfb. (cries)

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khytal · 4 months

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I finished kamen rider ryuki

(liveposting highlights:)

#khyt.krposting #khyt.edit #i guess #this show needs to sit in my head overnight. or for a few days. i don't know what i'm feeling #the thing is. for 90% of it I couldn't tell how much I liked the characters besides shinji and goro #and then i got to the last 2 episodes #and you'll never guess who I cried the hardest over.#anyway thanks chibs. insane introduction to kr #my eyes hurt from all the crying lmao

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sugarcandydoll · 3 months

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i feel so so sick idk what to do ♡😣💕

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daz4i · 9 months

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man if anyone else was in my situation I'd tell them "noooo don't listen to the people in your life who tell you you're making excuses and just being lazy, it's clear that you're in pain, not to mention executive dysfunction makes everything so much harder and depression draining you immediately after one action, be kinder to yourself" however. i am not anyone else

#parents 🤝 old therapist 🤝 friends a few years ago -> convincing me I'm lazy and making excuses to not do anything #it eased up a bit when i had the original crohn's scare bc suddenly ppl had to believe there might actually be smth wrong with me -#- and I'm not just faking my pain/it's just in my head. but the novelty of that passed even though it's still unclear if i have it or not #i don't know either. whether I'm being lazy or not. bc when I'm home alone for a week i DO do some of these things -#- that i normally struggle with. but 1 not all 2 as i mentioned i do need to lie down and recharge after everything #even if I'm not having stomach pains my muscles Do Not like me moving around that much but that might also be me being out of shape #which is think is what all those ppl i mentioned think. which is why they try to encourage me. it's not malicious or anything #but it still hurts a lot to hear. esp when it's coming from all directions and i still. can't. do. anything.#being told I'm just being lazy isn't as encouraging as they may think. tho at this point they're also expressing frustration-#- which i can't blame them for i mean I'd be frustrated too. i AM frustrated too #no one is meaner to me than myself after all #vent #man. that post hit hard akdlglg i didn't realize how much i have held up inside me abt this topic #I'm. really sad now. i just started the day and I'm already crying. damn

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fadeintolight · 2 months

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gets no romantic attention: i want to kill myself

gets romantic attention: i want to kill myself more

#the way this guy pops up in my life every 2 years since i was 16 is astrologically comical bc its always at the worst times #like id LOVE to finally try myself out in a relationship and i deff want to focus on this once im through all the uni and job shit #but please ANYONE but him ANYONE but someone i actually think highly of and someone who deff over romanticizes me in his head for sooo long #bc i know bc ive been told bc i can SEE it #like dude im nothing like the person who knew years ago!!! im trash!!! and im fine with that but you wouldnt be #anyway this year he saw me on the tram i guess #WHEN I WAS UGLY!!!! and crying a bit i guess #and he just haaad to let me know today of all days when im 5 days and 21 pages away from my thesis submission #i want to ghost him so bad i dont want to talk to him i dont want to date him id rather fling myself off the balcony #than to disappoint him #but i also dont want to hurt him??#anyway #someone sedate me

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just-rogi · 2 months

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im so fucking tired of going to the doctors. i cant keep up. every week its a new test or a new lab or a new specialist. i'm just exhausted. i have to go in for blood work AGAIN- this is the fourth time since april. its expensive, and time consuming, and honestly? im tired. im just tired. all the fucking time im tired of the lack of answers, and the phone calls in the middle of the day, and crying at work in front of my students, and opening my email to new lab results every other day. IM TIRED OF IT!!! im not even afraid of hospitals or needles i never have been, even as a kid, but i couldnt stop crying last time i got bloodwork. ive never been upset by bloodwork before what the fuck. last week i had an ultrasound of my liver and i got a call in the middle of the work day today that i need to get a BONE SCAN?? are you kidding me?? im scared. and im tired. and im angry. and i dont want to do any of this. i just want to cry and isolate myself and go to bed and not see anyone ever but i cant fucking do that because i have to go get injected with radioactive contrast material and wait four hours so they can see what is wrong with my bone enzymes.

#i think the worst of it is i can FEEL myself being a bad teacher #and i can FEEL myself being less patient with my students #and yelling more #and crying at work every day #its not fair to them and i should go back on medical leave but i need to get paid.#i dont qualify for FMLA as a teacher #i can also feel myself being a worse friend #and just being emotionally so heavy to be arround #or #isolating entirely #and not texting back or talking to people i love #because what do you even say to someone you love a lot who wants to comfort you #but who you dont want comfort from at the moment #like #im scared #and there arent any answers #and maybe something is wrong and maybe something isnt wrong and maybe its all in my head and maybe its bone cancer #its not cancer lol #like there is no evidence of that im just being dramatic and frealing out about the worst case scenario #its probably my thyroid or my vit d or malnutrition or a fracture we didnt know about or something else #but it doesnt make me feel any better to be rational #and im hurting my friends and my students and myself by being as anxious as i am all the time #but like what choice do i have i feel hysterical #but also they wouldnt be ordering blood tests and ultrasounds and bone scans and x rays and heart monitors and tilt table tests and neuro #if they thought it was all in my head... right? like my lab work SHOWS that there is a problem..but i still feel like im crazy

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callmehere-iwillappear · 11 months

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leo voice YES it's in poor taste. but have you considered. it's REALLY FUNNY

#talk tag #fic talk #^ this is also me in my head trying not to make poor taste jokes abt things irl #my own things not other ppls im not THAT much of an asshole dw but like #look if i cant joke abt my mental health issues then what is the POINT of having them </3 #<- me and also leo btw #anyway cmh leo would absolutely have to hold himself back from making jokes abt his own death #hes literally already done the 'you look like youve seen a ghost' one so like #leo making a horrible horrible joke abt his own death watching his whole family start crying: ummm. whoops. the impulsive thoughts won </3 #editing to add bc ive been thinking abt this lately for.. some reason???#genuinely dont know why BUT #if i ever end up getting hurt and end up in the hospital #and am out of commission for longer than a couple days #it is going to genuinely take ALL OF MY WILLPOWER #not to announce my return with 'i lived bitch'#im not fucking joking rn. ik i shouldn't but the urge. the URGEEEE

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oktobearfest · 10 months

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i feel so heartbroken and depressed right now - my dog sophie who i have posted about on here before has passed away today. she had gotten sick a little while ago and never really recovered. if anything, she was getting worse. she lost 20 pounds in two weeks, refused to eat, had trouble breathing and was peeing blood. combined with her severe hip dyspepsia to the point where she could barely stand up anymore and she was just....ready to go. my family and i decided to let her go and it was an insanely hard decision but i know it was the right one. i am happy that she isn't in pain anymore but im going to miss her so fucking much. i held her for the first time when she was 4 weeks old. i remember the day we took her home and all of the memories we shared together.

the last picture i took of her. rest easy sophie girl

#nobody gives a shit erin #my head and chest hurt so badly from crying all day #feel free to scroll past this i just need to let it out

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seapasture · 9 months

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i am going to sit down and draw the gentlest scene one can possibly imagine, or the pure visual manifestation of unabashed fury. there will be no in-between (unless)

#so 4am me was right! i really had hoped for a few days that things were looking brighter but clearly optimism is foolish #and this agony is entirely beyond my control which is fantastic. absolutely great and wonderful. i have never felt more empty #i think i will simply just try not to feel anything ever again because it simply isn't worth it #if i can pour it into some art then that will be something at least. i haven't drawn for myself in a very long time #but in this moment i literally have nothing else beyond some terrible coping mechanisms which i won't divulge #i think i will draw until my head hurts and my hands hurt #art and writing are really all i have right now. i can't physically speak without crying and i need to sequester myself #i will attempt to continue to reblog things as usual because i need every shred of normality i can consume #apologies in advance if i am not massively cheery again for a while - any semblance of joy has been violently stripped away from me #i'm not keen to conceal the fact that i do not feel normal at all right now. but i hate constantly venting here whenever i make a textpost #alas i am shigeo kageyama and i am holding a bouquet of flowers. and i'm about to cross at a junction #but it keeps happening over and over and over #if i draw and it's abysmal then good. i don't care #everything just gets worse and worse and worse and worse #i am so sorry #sea rambles

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astrxealis · 2 years

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shadowbringers musicebbajgeghbahebjgb some lyrics!

“in monochrome melodies, our tears are painted in red”

“we’re nothing more than scions and sinners”

the whole of ‘to the edge’ tbh. that stuff absolutely ruins me always

“like broken angels, wingless, cast from heaven's gates (our slumbering demons awake) / we only fly when falling, falling far from grace (hell take us, heaven can wait)”

“the road that we walk, is lost in the flood / here proud angels bathe in their wages of blood”

“AUTHORS OF OUR FATE, ORCHESTRATE OUR FALL FROM GRACE, POOREST PLAYERS ON THE STAGE, OUR DEFIANCE STRIVES US STRAIGHT TO THE EDGE”

“A REFLECTION IN THE GLASS, RECOLLECTIONS OF OUR PAST, SWIFT AS DARKNESS COLD AS ASH, FAR BEYOND THIS DREAM OF PARADISE LOST”

as you can tell i especially love those two. and everything tbh. but i’m listening to ‘shadowbringers’ rn so hi (’to the edge’ makes me so emotional though everytime)

“riding home, dying hope, hold onto hope...”

all lyrics in the shadowbringers expansion tbh. and the whole of ffxiv

THE LYRICS IN RELATION TO THE STORY. AND EVEN WITHOUT. IT IS JUST SO GOOD

shadowbringers is literally the best i am so obsessed with it i am so in love with it shb means everything to me omfg

this post is about lyics so i will stave off the want to talk about the music symbolisms and all haha. also no spoilers btw so dw

“la-hee” :))

“for whom weeps the storm, her tears on our skin”

“STAND TALL, MY FRIEND” <//3 <33

tomorrow and tomorrow always ruins me

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ‹𝟹 ໒꒱ *·˚#writing this hurt me !!! shb . to the edge. 5.0 to 5.3 oh my god that is the best piece of writing i have ever seen in my LIFE #it is just too good. way too good. aghbehgjabe (please play ffxiv. or at least listen to the music bcs soken and the team are GODS)#(also please ask me for my personal faves and/or recs haha /nf)#the lyrics are just too good my head will explode if i try to think about it properly rn. and then i'll start crying even if theres no #reason to and OH MY GODDD THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD (listening to the main theme/the one in the trailer rn)#THE AMOUTN FO 'WE FALL'S IN INSATIABLE AGEBGJHBAEGJHBAEJGH AND. AND. AND. INSANITY IS JUST TOO GOOD !!!#the villain song that plays is sooo. it screams theatre madlad and that is SO emet-selch.#THE WAY . THAT. WITHT HE STORY. THE DAY AND NIGHT THEMES AND ALL AND AND AND AND!!!!!!JHBTJHBJHTBJHAHBDahjgbjs #about to cry just from the thought of shb <- daily occurrence #'WHAT ANGEL WAKES ME' IS SO GOOD TOO!! and then the uhm. the 4 beat thing i forgot what it is called bcs bcs bcs YEAH #AND THE REFERENCES TO DANCES AND SHAKESPEARE AND !!!!! OH MY GOD #hi i am so passionate about ffxiv and its music (please don't ask me about it. i will never stop talking.)#(please ask me about it actually)

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mysticfemme · 9 months