#and my friend and I are going as “baddie” and “daddy” and I got hit with baddie
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cassandralexxx · 9 months ago
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Talked to my sister about what I should wear tonight and her verdict was that I need more slutty tops 💔
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nanidoesthings · 7 months ago
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Kim Possible Villains and their Kids Headcanons
Aka Anna wants to talk about her KP OCs
A lot of the kiddos essentially grow up together. Showing up at villainy events all the time.
I’ve talked a little about my Drakgo baby, Laserbeam, but she also has a brother named Dynamite and a sister named Gunpowder. (Gunpowder is not mine though, they belong to a friend of mine).
Junior and Bonnie? Not endgame. That is a gay man. But he does task her with being the surrogate for Junior and his boyfriend’s daughter Señorita.
Despite Monkey Fist hating children with every bone in his body, he ends up adopting a child named Xiaojian. She is raised as his apprentice.
How is Monkey Fist no longer statue? Personally I go with another timeline messing with Time Monkey.
Xiaojian was born from the monkey Chippy, turned semi human by DNAmy.
On a Henchco outing when they were kids, Dynamite convinced Xiaojian to sneak into a monkey enclosure then proceeded to leave her there.
Xiaojian and Laserbeam dated for a short while. They are now bitter exes.
Because of how bad the breakup was, Señorita adopted a "no dating anyone with Jack Hench in their contacts" policy.
Somehow all the kids end up with Duff as the "favorite not uncle" (for Xiaojian "Nae yer daddy")
When Dynamite was starting their gender journey, they often could be found at Duff's hitting shots.
Xiaojian learnt Scottish Gaelic and she and Duff tease Monkey Fist often.
She really thinks Monty and Duff need to just get together already.
Señorita wanting to prove some other rich people she was better than them had Duff teach her to golf.
Señorita follows her Papi’s dream of being a big pop star.
In a world where multiple Disney medias exist in the same universe, Señorita grew up watching Ernesto De La Cruz movies with her Abuelo.
Along the same lines, Dynamite once broke up with someone because they said 4*Town was better than Oh Boyz.
Dynamite loves webcomics. Would 100% be that Homestuck fan.
Sharpies are on high watch in the household. If not to turn grey a la Homestuck, Dynamite would recreate Sharpie Bath to turn Blue.
Dynamite was born in Colorado. Laserbeam in California.
Dr Drakken got a vasectomy after Dynamite was born.
Estelle Lipsky? The kiddos call her different things. Laserbeam calls her GamGam, Dynamite calls her GramGram, Gunpowder calls her Bob.
Somehow, the Drakkens end up always celebrating big holidays with the Possible-Stoppables. It is never planned but space is usually made for the other party.
I see Dr D having Jewish heritage but being non-religious. The kids however had Christmas and Hannukah growing up.
Shego watched Dr Drakken insist on designing and making an Offbrand Barbie Dreamhouse (Baddie’s Dream Lair maybe?)
Laserbeam swears she is not superstitious. She comes from a family of brainiacs so there’s reasoning for that which might be dubbed peculiar. And she knows Aliens and Ghosts and weird shit exists. Doesn’t consider that superstition.
However, she isn’t aware of habits which make her seem she is. Like putting on a specific hoodie whenever an assignment is just not seeming right.
Laserbeam often keeps a slurry of meds and sensory things in her purse because you can’t do evil in bad health.
Laserbeam once performed a VERY heated rendition of Holding Out For A Hero that ended up with her grounded (so worth it though).
While I stand by the idea that Laserbeam and Dynamite are not in frequent contact with their maternal uncles, I like to imagine Mego pops in from time to time.
Laserbeam, Dynamite, and Gunpowder were homeschooled.
The Drakgo babies were named after the song Killer Queen.
Dynamite and Drakken can often be found in the lab late at night. They’ll get inspiration for a project randomly and then suddenly the entire lair is being woken up to dad rock™️.
Laserbeam’s full name is Laserbeam Olivia Drakken. When she has to go undercover she will use Olivia Lipsky.
Dynamite’s full name is Dynamite Andrew Drakken.
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cloverlink · 7 months ago
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/chin on hands I would like to hear about Jak X and why it's your favorite! If you're up for it/don't mind.
OMG YES *OPENS PANDORA'S BOX*
sO I played this game when I was like 8-9-10 y/o. I met the saga through The Lost Frontier lmao but my English was very bad so I couldn't play much of the game and sent my dad to change it. iirc, the game he came back with was Jak X, if not then I got it another time I went to the store and said "surprise me".
since I had tried googling about TLF to help me pass the game, I got familiarized with the rest of the games as well. I had a (very) vague idea of the story through amvs and fanmade content. so then I got to play the game, the story was much shorter cuz it was only one game, and the playing mechanics were basically Mario kart (which I had played a lot previously) so I had a way easier time understanding things. I guess that made me closer to this game in particular. Also I asked the store for the main trilogy but they could never get them.
Plus I actually replayed it a dozen times cause of the fucking save file corruption bug, it was years of frustration cause I could never reach the end of the game without losing my progress. I eventually got a second memory card and tried again, this time with a strategy of cloning the save on each card. But by that time I had already watched the cutscenes on YouTube cause I genuinely thought I could never do it on my own. Still, getting to finish the game was like a life goal being achieved
Tldr years long frustration + learning to like bad guys lmao
NOW since I was a small kid I haTED Mizo's crew with a passion cause they were evil bad guys and that was all I could see. I had a special hate spot for Razer and UR-86. And the fact that I couldn't beat the game felt like they were winning against me and I was failing to save Jak's team from the poison. But then puberty hit and I admitted to myself that I had a crush on Razer LMAO and I became Mizo's crew #1 fanboy. Before I realized I was thinking of backstories, headcanons, ships, self inserting myself on the team or as their rival who ends up warming up to them
I got to play the other games when I was 15 (it was around this time that I got to beat Jak x too) and that made me appreciate X even more because they really didn't need to go THAT HARD yet they did!!! and I'm so glad!!!! It gave us more time with Jak + a different side to him, a lot of depth in world building, character development for Keira (I had very protective parents so I feel her) AND THEY FINALLY KISSED OMG TOOK YOU BOTH DUMMIES LONG ENOUGH + that plot wist with GT and then the Rayn one at the very end holy shit
IT'S JUST SUCH A MASTERPIECE SORRY THIS IS SO LONG
now a lil on my love for the baddies: we get literally zero stuff from them except for Mizo's daddy issues and Razer's sassyness so this part is mostly me going full delulu. Most of my attention at first was on Razer obviously and I always love/hated him, I feel like I wouldn't stand him but God he's so cool. Then one day I randomly started adoring Shiv?? I just thought he'd be such a chill guy and started picturing us as besties??? Edge I feel would be Shiv's kinda close friend, we see them together most of the time they have in X after all. And then Cutter's the most reserved one, I picture him being actually really sweet but you Have To Get There.
Now I need to draw my self insert so bad omgggg
Also I can recite the Spanish version of the opening scene by heart
OK THAT GOT LONG ENOUGH thank you so much for asking I loved writing all this and would love to hear your thoughts on the game (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠^⁠3⁠^⁠)
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mintyisms · 1 year ago
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Baddie SMP Starters 4
the one with a lot of murder
"There's a menacing sign on my door."
"I don't want to hit you because I might kill you. Might also set you on fire."
"I think it was a prank on yourself. You looked like an idiot."
"That's always your excuse, that you're being attacked by phantoms."
"That's actually defamation, so. . ."
"Why does she say her own name like a Pokemon?"
"Me and my dog are going for a walk if anyone would like to join us."
"Part of my unfinished business is haunting [name]."
"It means a lot that he forgave me on your behalf."
"Finally, some fucking peace and quiet."
"You've gotta die to be reborn as a beautiful phoenix."
"If it wasn't for you dying, we wouldn't have half of the adventures we've had."
"Everything's hot, including Butterfree."
"We're gonna be shagging with my daddy tonight."
"Do you wanna live in one of those low-grade apartments or do you wanna live in a luxury high rise?
"I hear everything, but I'm not really understanding anything you're saying."
"You're on for lunch tomorrow, right? At the place?"
"This is the most suspicious behavior I have ever seen."
"I'm civilian arresting this guy."
"We've got no choice but to drown him."
"Your dick is out, you're pointing a bow and arrow at me, and you're getting mad at me?"
"You have an arrow in your butt, by the way."
"I'm pretty dumb when it comes to movies, so sometimes I miss what they're about."
"There's blood coming out of my eyes all of a sudden."
"If you're a chicken, you have to tell us."
"There's a sad, naked sheep in here."
"You should try eating it. It's really tasty."
"You're kind of ruining my whole fucking vibe right now."
"I would kill to live with your father."
"Let's just go kill a family of goats or something."
"I'll bring the purple drink, you bring yourself."
"The second everyone leaves the room, you're fucking dead."
"I can't help but shake to this."
"If you kill my cat, I will end you."
"You asked a question, I used my endless knowledge to fucking answer it."
"I guess we're a band of mourning fellows now."
"I'm pretty sure I can survive this fall."
"I was unjustly slain in my prime by someone I thought was my friend."
"Speak much, loser?"
"I kinda feel partially responsible for egging you on."
"That's some nice stuff. You could build some things with it."
"I actually have a really poor memory, so thank you for reminding me."
"I wouldn't call it a murder weapon."
"It's against my religion to eat things pretty much any time."
"She's either vomiting or becoming a zombie right now."
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nsfwhiphop · 4 months ago
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Angelo & Australian baddie @abbiecornish dialogue:
Angelo: "Hey Abbie! Should we tell them?"
Abbie: "No, don't do that. Bradley Cooper will be jealous."
Angelo: "But it's fun to tell the world we're in love, you and I."
Abbie: "Okay, what the hell! We can tell them we're in love, right? I mean, who cares if Bradley Cooper gets jealous. He hasn't called me since 2010 when we made 'Limitless.'"
Angelo: "Seriously? Bradley never called you after that movie? Wow, he's such a douche. How much you wanna bet he'll chase you now? Yeah, I bet he'll be in your DMs after he reads this text, begging you to let him hit it."
Abbie: "I need a new sugar daddy anyway. Bradley will have to pay for this coochie now. I have Brad Pitt on the other line and also George Clooney. The price of my coochie just went up."
Angelo: "Don't forget the Lesbian mafia. They will chase your coochie too. Ellen and Portia will make you a much better offer than these Hollywood actors. I encourage you to join the Lesbian mafia of Hollywood; they offer good food and good sex."
Abbie: "Thank you so much, Angelo! I owe you one. What can I do for you in return?"
Angelo: "Just tell them that I'm the best lover you've ever had. That will suffice. Because I'm not lying, I just changed your entire career with one simple text. Am I lying?"
Abbie: "It's true, I can't deny that. You are the best I've ever had. You changed my life with one text. No one can do that, only Angelo can do that. You're my hero!"
Angelo: "You know that I will be in your heart and mind after this text, right?"
Abbie: "What do you mean? I don't understand."
Angelo: "It means that I changed your entire life with one text and then decided to move on with my life and ignore you. This is why I'm telling you that I will be in your heart and your mind from now on. You will always wonder, 'Where is Angelo, that righteous man who changed my life with one text? Where is he? I want to meet him.' But I will refuse to meet you for security reasons. As you can imagine, I'm an AREA 51 gang member, and this virtual meeting never happened. I'm basically a ghost who did you a one-time favor. Get it now?"
Abbie: "So, you're not gonna beat this coochie up? For real? Are you telling me that I will be stuck in a relationship with Bradley Cooper from the Hangover series? And you refuse to sit with us? Why? I want to meet you and even let you hit it. Come on, say yes."
Angelo: "Relax, I'm gonna meet you in the future, don't worry. I love you too, Abbie. We will have fun later on. Right now, you have to go team up with Ellen and Portia's Lesbian mafia in Hollywood. They will take good care of you. Trust me, your Hollywood film career will never be the same again. You will have a lot of gigs now."
Abbie: "Do you have a friend in Hollywood that I could give coochie to? I'm willing to be nice to one of your friends and give him coochie. Who do you think I should give this coochie to?"
Angelo: "I vouch for Mike Judge. Call him, and he will beat the coochie up. He will satisfy you, guaranteed. He is one of my best friends in Hollywood. You can trust him; he will be good to you."
Abbie: "Mike Judge is the creator of the Silicon Valley TV series, right? And also the 90s Beavis and Butt-Head?"
Angelo: "Yeah, that's him. Mike Judge is my bro. I have immense respect for his talent as a director. Silicon Valley is one of my favorite TV series of all time, so well written."
Abbie: "Thank you, Angelo! I will never forget what you did for me."
Angelo: "You're welcome, my dear Abbie! I plan on being good to you in the future. Just don't be on the naughty girl list of Santa. If anyone bothers you or tries to bully you, don't hesitate to call these two women: @zoesaldana and @rosariodawson. They will help you find a community of women to protect you. Zoe and Rosario will become your best friends."
Abbie: "Okay, got it! Zoe and Rosario are my friends."
Angelo: "Since you are an Aussie girl, I know an Australian girl in America. Her name is Iggy Azalea (@thenewclassic). You could hang out with her. I'm sure you will get along with her. Margot Robbie and Iggy Azalea are two Australian women in America. You can join their female gang if you want."
Abbie: "Got it, Iggy Azalea (@thenewclassic) and Margot Robbie. Thanks."
Angelo: "You were born in 1982, and I was born in 1981. You get why I look out for you. We are the same age. I see you struggling. I had to help you. You're a good woman, Abbie. I see you from afar."
Abbie: "Are you in love with me?"
Angelo: "No, I'm not. I just want to fuck you , that's all. Plus, I enjoyed your movie 'Limitless' with Bradley Cooper. That film was dope."
Abbie: "If you're a good boy, I will let you hit it."
Angelo: "Thanks, but not now. I'm busy with way too much coochie. I'll take a rain check for now, maybe later when I find the time. Bye, bye now. Love you, Abbie."
The end of the dialogue.
P.S.:
Mike Judge picture:
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written-in-flowers · 2 years ago
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Uninvited: Minjoon x Reader
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Pairing: Namjoon x female!Reader x Jimin 
Genre: Smut, mild angst/ Au: college, fuckboi
Word Count: 7k
Rating: M (for graphic sexual content)
Summary: Namjoon and you had plans to meet, but when Jimin’s apartment shuts down, two becomes three. 
Tags: bisexual!namjoon, bisexual!jimin, threesome sex, cunnilingus, fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex (m. and f. giving/receiving), protected sex, a bit of voyeurism, a hint of BDSM themes, mild angst, confused sexuality, top!namjoon, bottom!jimin, no happy ending
Disclaimer:   These works are completely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to reflect of label the member of BTS in any way. The events within never took place.
A/N: this is the second part of my bts!fuckboi series. I don’t this one hits as hard as Yoongi’s but it’s still kinda fucked. The same warning from before applies here as well. Men aren’t nice, and neither is Namjoon. 
****
Fridays are the center's slowest day. The last place a college student wanted to be was a library study hall. The computers around the lines of the walls remained empty; the more studious people worked at the tables and chairs, others got in a few last minute tutor sessions before closing time. Namjoon checked his watch. It was only a half hour until Mrs. James, the librarian, called for the ten-minute warning. The university offered the center as part of the main library. Students could take advantage of the resources they offered; sit at the tutoring tables where people like Namjoon could help with various subjects. Most of them are teacher's aides or graduate students who wanted to make a bit of extra cash. Namjoon was the latter. It came with plenty of other benefits too. He can work on his own studies but the side hustle brought him within his favorite thing in the entire world. 
They were insanely hot. He couldn't believe his luck. He'd been about to pack up for the day when they approached him. One woman had a little waist, big hips, thick thighs and ample bosom. A total baddie who smiled at him. Her lighter-skinned friend stood beside her, slender and lithe with his braids tied back with an elastic band. He assumed an athlete. Both of them stood in front of his semi-circle, smiles on their faces when they saw him. 
"Excuse me," said The Baddie, "Mrs. James told us you tutored for science?"
"Yeah, yeah I do," he said, calm and collected. He wasn't in high school anymore. "How can I help you?"
"My friend and I are kinda struggling with our biology class, and we were hoping-"
"-You could help us out?" her friend finished. 
"Of course. No problem." 
He offered them seats at his table. Namjoon figured he could stick around for a while longer to help out students. A pair of super fine students. Namjoon honestly did not know who he wanted more: The Baddie who eyed him flirtatiously when he met her eyes or The Athlete who kept his interest in him more subtle. He wasn't a fool. It'd become widely known around campus that a 'total daddy' tutored in the school library Mondays to Fridays. The stream of women (and men) who sought out his help did not escape his notice either. His job suddenly became his main hunting ground. The bars and clubs along the college strip stayed secondary locations for weekend flings. 
For most of his life, Namjoon liked college students, promiscuous people with loose morals. Not high schoolers or people in graduate school. He supposed it started in middle school when he watched porn for the first time. The very first video featured a blonde coed on a bed, topless and being offered money to show off the rest of her body and more. When he grew up, he realized women weren’t his only option. He'd go to fraternity or sorority parties where he saw hotties everywhere he looked. He'd visit college cafes or cafeterias, where he'd 'casually' bump into his mark and start a conversation. He liked their young bodies, so pliable and flexible he could bend however he liked. Most importantly, they didn't know. They weren't like the women his own age who would catch onto his game right away. These young college girls saw a charming, charismatic guy with a nice build and all sense left them. 
Much like with you. 
Namjoon spent the rest of the library time with The Baddie and The Athlete. He kept things friendly and casual between them, never letting them know his interest no matter how obvious theirs was. Eventually, Mrs. James kicked everyone out of the library, and he offered to walk them out, moving onto more personal topics. The Baddie belonged to an all-black sorority, and The Athlete to the brother counterpart; The Baddie majored in business and The Athlete planned on going into the education field. He'd been spot on about The Athlete; he was part of the college's track-and-field team. By the time they reached the entrance, Namjoon saw himself sandwiched between the pair. 
"Before we go," The Baddie said at the door, "My sorority's having a party tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to come." 
"Ah, I'm sorry, but as fun as it sounds, I actually have plans tonight." Never accept right away. "I have some friends stopping by my place tonight."
"They can come too," The Athlete said, "If they're as fine as you, then they're more than welcome to come."
He considered this. He knew his friends never said no to free beer, free food, and a buffet of hotties. But, then you came back to mind. He'd looked forward to seeing you for a while now, and if he canceled, he might lose another chance. 
"Tell you what," he said, pulling out his phone, "How about you give me your number, and I'll text you?"
"Okay," she beamed. 
They exchanged numbers at the table, and he watched them giggle and whisper walking away. Namjoon finished picking up and left the library for the parking lot. Getting into his car, he pulled out his phone and put in the girl's number. His thumbs paused over the contact name. He wracked his brain for a name. He'd been distracted by her cleavage and backside to really put it to memory. This often happened with his girls. Giving up, he wrote "Library Baddie". Then he began driving. As he exited the parking lot for the street, his phone rang and he saw "Jiminie" on the screen. He put it on speaker. 
"Hey Jimin," he said, "I'm gonna be kinda late tonight."
"Good, because we can't hang at my place."
Namjoon groaned. He knew what this meant, "Why?"
"Gas leak."
"Again? That's like the second time."
"I know, it's weird. But my super was like 'building is closed off until further notice'," he said in a mocking deep voice. "It's so dumb, but I don't want to blow up, so we can do it at mine." 
"Which means we're doing it at my place," he grumbled.
"You are next in the hosting tree," he said. "Also," Namjoon noticed the distinct drop and sultry tone that came next, "Could I maybe crash at yours tonight?"
"Jimin, I don't know. I have someone coming over." Temptation compelled him to say 'yes'; to call you and tell you not to come. He hadn't been alone with Jimin in a long time. "And, she might not be cool with someone else there."
"Oh, another one of your girls, huh?" He teased. "What's this one's name?"
"Sexy Barista."
"Her real name, Namjoon."
"Um…uh, well, you see-"
"-Wooow, you really don't remember," he laughed. "Is she really that unremarkable?"
"She's not," he said, smiling softly, "Nice ass. Nice tits. She does this thing with her tongue…woof, you need to try it."
Jimin giggled and his stomach knotted, "You mean have her try it on me or have me try it on you?"
It was this. Just when Namjoon thought he liked women, Jimin pulled out the gay in him. "What if I said both?"
"Then tell me what time she'll be there. You have a better taste in women than some of our boys."
He chuckled, "I do pick up some seriously hot ones."
"And what about me? Am I another ‘hot one’?” 
"The hottest one." 
He shuddered thinking of the first time he hooked up with Jimin. It'd been at a house party they'd all gone to one weekend. Namjoon didn't remember the host's name, but they had a huge house with lots of rooms. He'd been a bit drunk, a bit horny when his date disappeared on him. Thinking back, he wondered if Jimin somehow made them ditch him. But, he recalled how Jimin's petit form felt pressed against his; how the curvature of his ass pushed right into Namjoon's cock. He’d never slept with a man before then; he’d experimented a few times, but they never went past kissing and hands. But, having Jimin so close to him, he’d wanted more than hands and lips. All the women in the house looked the same, while Jimin glowed and stood out in the crowd. He had an alluring charm that blinded him to anyone else. Namjoon forgot all about the sea of women in the house; he only wanted Jimin. 
“When do you think you’ll be here?” Namjoon asked, turning into his building’s parking lot, and parked in his usual spot. “Sexy Barista should be here soon.” 
“Oh, and you mean you don’t want me to walk in on you both and join in? I don’t see why she’d say no.”
“Fuck, Jimin…” he breathed out. “I’m not even in my apartment yet.”
Jimin laughed. He loved torturing him before they slept together. “I’m actually already here.”
“What?” he looked around the parking lot as he stepped out, searching for the short, black-haired man. “Where?”
“Outside your apartment. I thought you’d left the center early since it’s Friday.” 
Why did this make him move faster? “I had some last minute students come up, so I helped them out before leaving.”
“Anyone worth talking about?”
“Eh, not really.” Were it any of his other friends, he’d be blabbing about Baddie and Athlete. But, for some reason, he didn’t want to tell Jimin. Suddenly, neither of them seemed as good. “They were alright,” he said, reaching the elevator and pressing his floor. “What about you? How’re things with that Kayla chick?”
“Bad,” he sighed, “She got fired.”
“No shit?”
“No, my boss said he was tired of her asking for days off every week and her being late to her shifts. I tried talking him out of it, saying he could just put her on early shifts instead, but he wasn’t going for it,” he said. “So, no more Kayla pussy for me.” 
“She looked hot,” he replied, “Sorry, dude.”
“It’s okay. There’s this new guy that started last night. Super hot; has this uber twink look going on,” he said. He hesitated, “Definitely your type.”
Namjoon’s cheeks turned hot, “Eh, I don’t think so. I’m pickier with guys.”
“I figured as much,” he said, “Kinda hard to find other guys hot when you’ve fucked me before.”
“Park Jimin…you’re asking for trouble with all that talk. I have a lady friend coming over, and I don’t think she’d like having to compete for me against you.”
“Why? Because there’d be no contest?”
“No, I just don’t want her to feel bad about herself when she sees you.”
He walked onto his floor and spotted a familiar figure by his door. Namjoon hung up the phone, and headed over to Jimin. He wore a black hoodie over a large shirt and gray shorts; half his long hair tied back from his face, since he hadn’t cut it yet, and his face was free of his usual makeup. At his feet, he had grocery bags as well as a duffle bag with his belongings in it. Jimin must’ve known he wouldn’t be prepared for the sudden get-together, and Namjoon appreciated it. He looked beautiful, Namjoon thought. Dark eyes stared up at him coyly, and he stood up from the doorframe he’d been leaning against. Namjoon considered kissing him, pushing him to the door and sinking his hand down Jimin’s shorts. He’d started it after all. But, you were coming soon, and he needed to prepare the apartment for you. 
The pair entered the apartment and Jimin began setting out the groceries in the living room. Namjoon noticed the lime tortilla chips he’d become addicted to and the case of Kloud draft beer; popcorn, chocolate snacks, and other alcoholic drinks followed. He personally ordered food, but Jimin was a natural party host. While Jimin set the party up, Namjoon went into his bedroom. He made sure he’d stocked up on feminine products for you to use, hand towels on the side, condoms and lubricants, and if he’d changed the waterproof sheets on his bed. He even sneakily checked the container of sex toys he kept on hand, and the restraints he kept hidden at the corners of the bed. He didn’t expect you to be a kinky sex kitten, but it never hurt to have things on hand for you. 
“Still have that collection?” Jimin asked from the doorway. 
“Some people like fooling around with toys,” he shrugged, “I like to keep things…interesting…hold up…” he rifled through the container, and noticed something missing. “The dildo I had in here is missing.”
“You mean this one?” 
From behind his back, Jimin pulled the aquamarine dildo mold Namjoon made on a dare. Hoseok had bought him a dildo-maker for his birthday as a gag-gift, and Namjoon made it according to the instructions. It held surprisingly well, and many women liked using it when he wanted to stretch them open. He then remembered Jimin and him using it the last time they had sex. Jimin must’ve swiped it when Namjoon wasn’t paying attention. Namjoon stood up, smiling at his mischief, and reached out his hand. 
“Come on, give it back, you little thief,” he teased. 
“I think you need to apologize to the people I’ve been having sex with recently. They have a lot of competition with you.”
“Not my fault they’re subpar lovers,” he shrugged. “Now, give it back.” 
“No,” Jimin pointedly put the thick head on the flat of his tongue, “I like it. I’ve had a lot of fun with it.” He swirled his tongue over it while Namjoon watched, “I like sitting on it when I jerk off…I like thinking it’s you fucking me.”
“Jimin…”
“Can I keep it, Namjoonie?” he pouted, giving it kitten licks and sucking it. “Please?”
Namjoon walked closer, and took the toy from him. He held the tip to Jimin’s lips, pushing it into his mouth as he backed him into the wall. “How about you earn it instead?” he breathed, keeping eye contact while Jimin sucked on the fake cock. “Be a good slut for me, and I’ll let you keep it.” 
“You promise?” 
“I promise.”
“What about your little lady friend?” he whispered, “I don’t know if she’d like to share you with me.”
“You can watch,” he stuck the toy further into Jimin’s mouth, “With this in your ass.” He removed it, put an arm around Jimin’s waist and took him to the bed. All the blood in his body rushed to his crotch as Jimin rested on his bed, already unzipping his jacket. Namjoon immediately reached for him, hands roaming his body and grinding into his hips. “I can put those clamps on you again,” he muttered between kissing, Jimin’s hot mouth making him groan, “And that little head teaser too.”
“Namjoonie,” Jimin giggled, “Such a horny boy.”
“That’s what you do to me,” he said in a low voice. He pressed his semi-hardness into Jimin, “This,” he growled, “Is what you do to me.” 
He’d been about to tug down Jimin’s shorts when the doorbell sounded through the house. You were here. Jimin gave a soft whine, and pulled the waistband of Namjoon’s cargo shorts. “Tell her to fuck off,” he said, “I’m the one who got you hard. I should get to have it.”
Namjoon chuckled, “Greedy.”
He pecked Jimin’s lips and slid off the bed. A plan formulated in his mind as he adjusted his pants to hide his boner. Maybe you’d see it and like it. Jimin remained in the bedroom, since he didn’t follow Namjoon. Namjoon took a deep breath, then opened the door. 
You looked as hot as the day you’d both met. Wearing a striped t-shirt with a deep v-neck, he had a perfect view of them from his height. Your shorts went to the middle of your thighs, and it made him even harder. He’d first seen you in the campus cafe where he’d go before his morning classes; there you wore all black with a green apron over your outfits. But, you’d gotten his attention with your smile and kindness. Over the times he visited, he learned you were an English major, working your way through college like so many others. You had a dorm on campus, and you liked reading, writing, pop music, and fantasy and science fiction films. Namjoon knew with a few more visits, he’d snag a date with you, which he did when you bravely slipped him your phone number. You’d both gone out to the fundraiser fair on the campus grounds, where you rode rides, ate cotton candy, and had a generally good time. He drove you home, and you offered him inside for a drink. That’s when he banged your brains out for most of the night before slipping away the next morning. 
He decided to keep you around a bit longer than most. 
“Hey,” he smiled when you arrived, “You’re…here. Come in.” He let you inside, “How’re you doing?” 
“Pretty good,” you replied, “Better now that I’m seeing you.” You both walked further into the apartment where you spotted the snacks and drinks on the counter top. “Having a party?” 
“Later on, yeah,” he said. “We were originally having it at my friend’s place, but his apartment got shut down from a gas leak, so I’m next in the party tree.”
“Party tree?” you asked, putting your stuff down. 
“My friends and I have sort of a ‘guy’s night’ every weekend, and we rotate who hosts. I’m sorry,” he went into the fridge where Jimin put the beers, “It was sorta last minute. I was gonna call you, but I-”
“-Got distracted.” 
Jimin came out of the bedroom. Namjoon saw that mischievous look in his eyes again. “Namjoon can be a bit forgetful, and if there’s too much going on, he loses track of stuff.” He looked over at you, “I’m Jimin,” he stuck out his hand, “Namjoon’s friend.”
“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you said, shaking hands with him. He noticed your apprehensive look between them both, “If I’m interrupting, I can come back another time.” 
“No, no, it’s not a big deal,” Namjoon said, pulling out three beer cans to put on the counter. “It won’t be for a while anyways. Jimin’s the one whose apartment got shut down, so he’s crashing here with me until it’s okay to go back inside.” 
“And besides,” Jimin took one of them from him, and cracked it open for a sip, “We all know why you’re here.”
“Um,” you laughed nervously, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You mean, you bring a hoe-bag wherever you go?” Jimin asked curiously. “Oh, honey, there’s no shame. We all do it.” He handed you a beer, “I don’t mind leaving for a bit while you guys go at it. I can see what Tae or Kook are up to-”
“-You don’t have to go,” you said. “I don’t mind. I just like knowing before I show up, is all.” 
“Of course,” he agreed. “I really did spring this on Joon last minute, and we got caught up coming up with sleeping arrangements, so he forgot to text you.”
“Yeah, that's it,” Namjoon opened his beer and took a gulp. He’d hoped the cool drink might settle his hot cheeks, but they didn’t. He kept thinking back to Jimin with his dick mold, and what they’d be doing if you hadn’t arrived. But, seeing you standing next to Jimin, he couldn’t help imagining both of you using his toys. “Again, super sorry. Will you at least stay and hang for a bit? My friends won’t mind you being here…trust me.”
Especially Hoseok, who wouldn’t hesitate to flirt if he saw you. 
“Sure,” you grinned, going to the living room and opening your beer, “I wouldn’t want to waste the time I did coming here…”
“Which would be a shame,” Jimin added, sitting there next to you.
Namjoon watched you and Jimin go to a couch while he grabbed snacks. His fingers felt numb as he opened a bag of chips. His cock grew harder thinking of your tits in Jimin’s hands, his smaller digits squeezing and sucking while Namjoon pounded inside you. You’d be such a pretty picture, and so would Jimin. He came over to the living room, holding a bowl of chips and took another drink of his beer. You and Jimin appeared to be in conversation already, his eyes looking at you as if he’d never seen anything like you before. 
“-I’m a dance teacher for little kids part time,” he said. 
“Aw, that’s so cute,” you said, cradling your beer into your lap. “How old?”
“Three to five-year-olds mostly, but this year I have a teenager class too since one of our teachers retired a bit suddenly,” he leaned in and whispered, “Drinking problem. A lot of parents complained.” 
“Jesus, I can imagine they did. So, they came to class drunk?”
“Not drunk, but seriously hung over. They also sometimes didn’t come at all, and one of the other teachers had to pick up their classes. Our director got tired of it, but since they’ve been there so long, he offered them retirement instead. I said they should just have fired her, since she made our school look bad, but I guess being friends with the director’s wife gets you special privileges.”
“Psh, it’s like that everywhere now. All these boomers are always looking out for each other.”
“Totally.” 
Half a lie. Jimin worked as a full time bar manager at Euphoria, a nightclub in the center of the city. He often lied to partners about where he worked to seem more interesting to them. It amazed Namjoon how he came up with stories off the top of his head, and all sounded believable. Recently, he's taken to telling people he worked part-time at a dance studio, so should they visit Euphoria and see him, he can say it's his other job. A hardworking guy with two jobs? People liked that in a person. Namjoon knew the truth, however. Jimin planned on having his own night club one day. He liked entertaining people. The get-togethers at Jimin's house always topped the others'. He'd host most often if his job allowed him the time. He'd buy enough food and drinks; movies and games he knew everyone liked, and kept things flowing. Him owning a club made sense. 
"What about you?" Jimin asked you, "What do you do?"
"I'm working at the university coffee shop," you answered. "It's actually where Namjoon and I met." You smiled over at him, "He's a regular there."
"Aw, how cute," Jimin awed. "Yeah, Namjoon needs his iced americano in the morning or he's the crankiest dude ever."
"I am not," Namjoon smiled embarrassed. "I'm not."
"I've noticed it, trust me," you told Jimin. "I remember him snapping at a lady who'd cut in front of him to make a big order."
"She walked up to the front of the line like she owned the place!" Namjoon reasoned. "She had these little demon children walking behind her, and they had the same attitude!"
"She told me they were in a hurry," you continued, drinking from your can, "Because they were heading to the airport, and I told her that she had to get in the back of the line because everyone else was there before her. She said that those people didn't have kids, and that they'd understand. And then, Namjoon said," your laughter cut in the middle of your sentence, "Namjoon said, 'Hey, it's not our fault you decided to open your legs and have a bunch of crotch goblins!'."
"Yep, yep, that sounds like Joon," Jimin chuckled, nodding and looking at him. "He can be a dick." 
"I was hungover," he said, "And this bitch and her little hellions were holding up the line. It'd been the night after my birthday party." 
Namjoon shared a knowing look with Jimin, who nodded. "The one where Hoseok got you that dildo-making kit?" he asked, eyebrows raised. 
"Dildo-making kit?" your eyes went wide, and you turned to him, "You have a dildo-making kit?"
"Had," he corrected. "One of my friends bought it for me as a joke present. When we were playing truth or dare, he dared me to go into the bathroom and use it." 
"Do you still have it?"
"He does," Jimin answered with a wicked grin, "He keeps it in his little toy box for special occasions."
"How do you know?"
"I found it once," he winked at Namjoon. Namjoon recalled exactly what Jimin had done when he first discovered the toy: He laid on Namjoon's bed, and slowly used it on himself with Namjoon watching. 
"Dare you to go find it," you whispered conspiratorially. 
"Ah, come on, you guys-"
"-Dare," Jimin said, finishing his beer and leaving the living room. 
Once he'd left, you slid closer to Namjoon. You put your hand on his thigh, rubbing your finger on the hem of his shorts. His body heated up again at the delicate touch. "You two seem to be close," you commented. 
"Me and Jimin? Yeah, we've known each other since high school. My friends and I all grew up in the same neighborhood, so we all went to the same school," he said, "And we all built this really close knitted bond. It's carried on since then." 
"That's so sweet," you said, tracing a circle pattern on his knee. He put his arm on the back of the couch so you came closer. "But, I meant 'close-close'. He's been checking you out when he thinks I'm not paying attention."
"I don't know what you mean," he said, "Jimin and I are only friends. We've never...done anything like that before."
"You don't have to lie," you smiled, your hand going further up his thigh. "I saw your boner when I came in."
He coughed and shifted once your hand landed on his groin. He stared down to see you gently running your fingers over his zipper. "Did Jimin do that or do I really have that effect on you?" you asked him in a low voice. 
"It's you, baby," he said in your ear, hand resting on your shoulder. "That's all you and those naughty pictures you sent me this morning. I was looking at them before Jimin showed up, and I knew he'd never shut up about it if he caught me jerking off." He put his own hand between your thighs, his fingers on your inner thigh, "But, no, baby, that's all you right there." 
To keep you from responding, Namjoon brought your lips to him and kissed you. He kept it deep and slow. He brushed his tongue over yours and groaned softly when you sunk your hand over his cock and balls. He turned his body towards you, and gradually felt up your thighs to your shorts. He groaned again when your heat touched his fingers. Through the denim fabric, he traced the inner seam going right over your sex. The thickness of it bothered him. It kept you from him. Jimin usually wore thinner, lighter clothes when he came over. Namjoon continued kissing you as he left your pussy for your breasts, which almost asked him to take them out. The neckline of your shirt skewed slightly to the side to show off your bra, a lavender color that teased him. He kissed down your lips to your neck, where he sucked gently as he grabbed one of your breasts. They were like he remembered, supple and perfect in his hand. Like the rest of your body was. 
"Well, you two start off hot and heavy, huh?" 
You stopped when Jimin reappeared, holding the long dildo in his hand. Namjoon remembered him sucking and licking the toy not long ago, his petal lips around the tip. His tip. 
"Do you blame me?" he asked, "I mean...look at her." He gave you another neck kiss that made you giggle, "She's so damn hot."
"She is."
"Is that the dick mold?" you bursted out laughing. 
"Yep," Jimin came back to the couch, handing it to you. Namjoon watched you examine the thickness and length, aroused simply watching you handle it. "Big, huh?"
"It's definitely an accurate replica," you gave him a shifty look as you ran your hand over the shaft, "I can see a girl having a very good time with this."
"Why have that when you got the real thing right here?" he challenged, putting your hand back on his dick. He captured your lips again for another kiss, but peeked over at Jimin, who watched biting his lip. He made sure the petite brunette saw your tongues slide against one another; that he could see Namjoon's bulge as well as your chest. "Do you mind?" he asked Jimin, pretending to be annoyed. 
"Not at all," he replied. "I like watching."
"You do, huh? Is that something you guys all do in your little friend circle?" you said, "Watch each other fuck?"
"Not all of us," Jimin's eyes never let Namjoon's. To him, you might as well not even be there. "Just Namjoon and I."
"’We’ve never done anything like that’," you mocked Namjoon's deep voice and then giggled. "I bet you've done more than watch too."
"Again," Jimin said, "Only us two. Taehyung and Hoseok are mostly straight, but sadly Jin, Jungkook and Yoongi are strictly for the ladies. That just leaves Namjoonie and me," he glanced down at Namjoon's body and back up. 
"So, that's how he knew where this was," you laughed, wiggling the toy beside you. "I knew it. I totally got those vibes off of you when we met."
Sure, you did. If you picked up on 'vibes', you'd known what he was up to from the beginning. He let it slide and continued feeling up your chest, "I might like it every so often," he said, pecking your lips, "But nothing beats you."
"Oh yeah?" 
You two kissed and then you started a trail from his lips, to his jaw, then his neck. His eyes met Jimin's, and he detected a bit of discontent there. Jimin's eyes glanced over to you, completely oblivious to the exchange, and then back at him. Namjoon wiggled his eyebrows and smirked, looking down at Jimin's body, then shifting his eyes to you at his neck. He crossed his arms defiantly, but a pout made Jimin shrugged defeatedly and slide closer. His lips met Namjoon's first. They started with a few soft pecks, and then the kiss deepened. Jimin's tongue explored his once more; the sensation stoked the flames deep in his gut while your hand continued massaging his crotch. You clearly noticed the two men kissing, and joined them. Jimin eventually turned him away so both of you kissed in front of him. He watched Jimin's lips caress against yours, gasping when you showed your tongues to him. He reached out for Jimin's chest, feeling through the thin fabric for the hard nipples and hearing Jimin whimper into your mouth. He immediately pulled away back to you, cupping and grabbing both your breasts and burying his face into your neck as you made out with Jimin. 
"If your tits are so great," Jimin whispered, "Then I need to see what all the fuss is about." 
Jimin hooked his fingers on your neckline and slowly pulled it down underneath your bra. Namjoon looked on as your bra followed, and Jimin's mouth opened at the sight of it. You whimpered as he slid his tongue over the very middle of your nipple. Namjoon did the same to the other side and gave a low groan as he latched his mouth on your nipple. Both of them continued sucking and teasing your breasts while two hands sailed down your body. Namjoon felt your grip on him tighten when his hand reached between your thighs again. Jimin's fingers fumbled with your button and zipper, while Namjoon simply rubbed the center where you're most sensitive. 
"These are nice," Jimin said, kissing up your chest to your lips, "I get why he talked about them so much. I could play with these for hours too." 
"And I wouldn't complain either." 
He finished undoing your shorts, and Namjoon slid them down your body. Your lower half now exposed, both men felt your hot center. Namjoon's fingers slid over one side of your pussy, tracing the folds over your panties and occasionally brushing the clitorios underneath. Jimin massaged his on the other half, doing the same and even dipping further towards your entrance. Each man pinned a thigh to his lap and kept you spread as they bent down to inspect you. Namjoon threaded your panties through your slit, and Jimin began licking the exposed lips. You moaned and touched your breasts as his tongue slid up and down them, tasting the juices starting to seep through your underwear. Namjoon watched him. He watched his tongue, hot and pink, slip over where your panties hid your clit and flick it rapidly. It reminded him of whenever Jimin licked the underside of his cock. He groaned imagining Jimin's warm mouth on him again. Namjoon spread the lips apart, leaving your clitorius vulnerable to Jimin's invading tongue. Your panties still kept him from truly feeling you. Soon, Namjoon pulled the fabric aside and Jimin's mouth encompassed your pulsing pussy. Namjoon groaned, watching his tongue circle around your clit and lap at the space underneath it. The obscene suction sounds that came from him made him recall the time Jimin gave him a rimjob. 
"Want to watch me eat her pussy?" he asked, kissing him. He could taste your slickness on Jimin's lips, and he licked every bit he found. "I know you like watching that.” 
“Mm, please, do.” 
Namjoon got to his knees in front of you, and dove right in. Your moans sounded throughout the room as his tongue continued the same torturous motions Jimin used. He purposefully moaned straight inside you to see your reactions to the vibrations, and it was beautiful. Jimin sat beside you, teasing your breast with his hand as he observed. Namjoon met his eyes as he pointedly spread the lips and attacked your clit with his tongue. 
"Come down here," Namjoon moaned, swiping his tongue over it, "And eat her out with me."
Jimin moved down your body, keeping your thigh in hand, as he took the top half of your pussy. Namjoon lifted his hand to Jimin's lap, feeling a hardon through the shorts, and sunk in through the wide leg hole. Jimin moaned against your pussy as Namjoon began stroking him slowly. He went back to lapping at the flood of slick coming from you, teasing it back into your hole every so often. They both swirled their tongues over you, taking turns to flick at your clit and dip inside. Namjoon concentrated on the hard cock throbbing in his hand. He imagined the fun he could be having alone with it; the toys he could use to tease Jimin until he's begging to cum. He might do that once you leave. Jimin was right. Namjoon loved cock and ass. He loved Jimin's cock and ass. He swirled his thumb over the tip every time, which drove Jimin to whimper weakly into you. 
“Namjoonie…”
“Keep licking,” Namjoon ordered him, “You look so pretty eating pussy. I don’t want you to stop, and neither does our special playmate.”
“Oh no, please don’t stop,” you moaned, pushing into Jimin’s mouth. “Please.”
“See? She wants you to keep going,” Namjoon said, picking up speed with Jimin, “You don’t want to upset her, do you?” he leaned into Jimin’s ear, whispering, “Or me?”
“No, sir,” he whined. 
He looked up at you, and smiled. You were completely lost in your pleasure. You didn’t appear to care who ate you out, as long as someone did. Namjoon then slid two fingers inside you, jaw dropping at the walls immediately hugging his fingers. He kept a slow pace, ending each pump with a curl of his fingers while Jimin continued sucking your pussy. This new sensation caused you to start shuddering and eagerly grinding into their faces. Namjoon held you firmly against the couch and joined Jimin’s tongue in swirling. Both men occasionally broke away to kiss, making sure you saw them swab your juices between their mouths before returning to you. Your pussy clenched up around Namjoon’s fingers, which scissored to further stretch you. You were a vision of ecstasy and lust. He knew you’d do just about anything for that orgasm; you proved it the first time you had sex with him. He leaned back to see your body so vulnerable to them; you did nothing to fight them off as they took you closer and closer to your climax. He looked over to Jimin, who now had a wet spot on his gray pants from Namjoon’s hand pumping him. He reached for the waistband and tugged them down, Jimin sitting up only to help him remove them entirely. 
“Fuck, damnit, Jimin,” Namjoon moaned, seeing his erect penis standing and leaking, “Why does it always look so good?” 
He didn’t hesitate. He took the dripping head in his mouth and sucked the precum off. He continued pumping his fingers inside at the same speed. A stream of groans came from Jimin as he leaned back on the couch, giving Namjoon more space to bury his head in his lap. He loved the feeling of Jimin’s cock pushing on his tongue and sliding into his throat. He loved his nose reaching the pelvis, and sinking against Jimin’s skin, which he kept trimmed and neat. He enjoyed the soft prod Jimin’s tip gave his uvula every time he moved too far in, almost choking before pulling him out. He gave a few good sucks before returning to you, panting and worried you’d been forgotten. Namjoon eased this worry by switching motions: he fingered and licked you, while jerking Jimin off. Soon enough, you quaked and shuddered beside Jimin. 
“Are you gonna cum?” Jimin asked, immediately coming to your side and kissing you. “Is our pretty slut going to cum for us?”
“Yes,” you mumbled. Your moans grew higher as Jimin suckled your breasts, adding a pinch to the sensations Namjoon stirred below. “Yes, oh God, yes…”
You came into Namjoon’s mouth in a dizzy haze. You clutched Jimin’s arm and the couch cushion beneath you as Namjoon held you close to his face. He greedily swallowed the flow into his mouth. When the last breaths of your orgasm died away, he kissed up your stomach to your lips, then spoke softly: 
“Let’s go to my room. I have everything we’ll need for the next part in there.” 
They took you into the bedroom, where they both finished undressing. However, as you laid on the bed, breathless and panting, the two men crashed into one another. Hungrily kissing, Namjoon’s hands fell down Jimin’s body to his ass, which he gave a hard spank and gripped. Jimin went up Namjoon’s arms, gripping the flexed muscles until he reached his broad shoulders. He pushed himself into the long member standing against Namjoon’s stomach, and gently started stroking again. 
“Look what I brought,” Jimin showed off the toy he’d swiped from the living room. “Can I play with it while you fuck her…sir?” 
He let the word ‘Sir’ drip with seduction. “I can wear the clamps and the cover too,” he continued stroking and kissing Namjoon, “I’ve thought of playing with it all day.”
“The lube’s in the drawer.” 
He watched Jimin go to the drawer for the necessities, then went to you. “Looks like you’re getting the audience you wanted,” he sneered, crawling back over you and between your legs. 
“I’ve never done this before,” you said, pushing your pussy up against him. He could feel your wetness before he even sank inside. Looking down, he saw himself sliding over it as if being polished. “You know, two people before?”
“I should’ve asked if it was okay, my bad,” he said. “If it’s not, I really could tell Jimin you’re not cool with it.” Although, if Namjoon would send anyone away, it’d be you.
 “Or we could just, you know, stop now,” Jimin suggested, getting onto the bed and handing Namjoon a condom. 
“No, I don’t want to stop,” you pulled Namjoon down to kiss you, which he did fully. “I want both of you.” 
“And you’ll get both, baby. Let me just get Jimin ready, okay?”
He moved over to Jimin. Once their bodies touched again, Namjoon feared he’d never go back to you. “How about we start off simple this time?” He said, “For our special friend.” 
“Yes, Sir.”
Unlike you, Jimin did not require tons of preparation. Namjoon took the lubricant from the drawer nearby and rolled Jimin over. He grabbed one of Jimin's round, soft cheeks and kneaded it with his palm. He pinched and spanked each side once or twice just to see it jiggle in front of him. Jimin spread out next to you, you watched as Namjoon squirted lubricant over the tight hole. Jimin mewled at the fingers slowly circling his entrance, but stayed perfectly still. His hands gripped the pillow as he felt two digits slide inside, a long groan following. Namjoon loved watching him come undone. He loved seeing that cocky, smug expression contorted with pleasure Namjoon can give or deny. Jimin’s ass clenched around his fingers and pulled them in deeper, which Namjoon had to refrain from doing. He knew with a few good pumps in the right spot, Jimin would shudder and shake all over. Then, his lovely throbbing cock would twitch and spray cum everywhere, leaving Namjoon without. 
“I want your cock,” Jimin whined, forcing himself to remain stiff like Namjoon always wants. “Please…”
Namjoon glanced over at you, and found you slowly touching your center again. He knew he should give it to you a little before sending you off; it was only fair, since that’s what you came for. But, Jimin looked so good laying in his bed, ass presented and ready to be filled by him. 
“You’ll have it soon,” Namjoon said, “But for now, be a good boy and keep this in here.”
Jimin grunted, but it was quickly cut off by the full force of the toy inside him. Angling his body sideways, he reached down behind himself and continued pushing the toy deep. Namjoon stared at where the bright colored dildo met Jimin’s ass. He saw the way his hole stretched around it, much like with his fingers, and swallowed it. Namjoon absentmindedly tore open a condom wrapper, rolled it on, and slipped into you. He heard you cry out softly, and instantly regretted the sudden plunge. He mumbled a slew of apologies before making subtle movements into you. His cock throbbed inside you, and forced himself to gaze at you while Jimin’s moans reached his ears. He let his thumb work on your swollen clitoris once he began moving faster. The hard nub easily rolled around his thumbpad every time he touched it, brushing up underneath and over whenever your bodies met. Your dripping sex made the clear condom glisten on his cock. He didn’t need one when he fucked Jimin. They both tested regularly, and kept themselves clean. Jimin didn’t care if Namjoon busted inside him, because nothing came from it…except the satisfaction of watching it leak out. 
When your eyes fell shut, and your head tilted back, he knew he’d hit the right spot again. Namjoon almost chased it down. He glanced over to Jimin, who’d kept the same gradual pace. He saw Jimin’s chest and stomach tensing each time the toy pressed deep inside; he saw redness flushing up his cheeks and neck. Pink lips hung open in each breathy moan; dark brown eyes begged for him to come across the bed. Namjoon lifted your hips and pounded into a different angle, causing your orgasm to come early. 
Under different circumstances, Namjoon might’ve tried holding off your climax. He’d stop, shush you softly, and let it sink back down before resuming his pace. He’d have you in different positions: letting you ride out an orgasm on top, pinning you down by your hips in doggystyle, holding you close and caressing you on your sides, and bending you into a curve and sliding into you while you watched. The box under his bed would not go unused either. He’d find other places to take you before sending you home. He’d relay the story to his friends afterwards, all of them eager for details and photos he might have of you (and he’d have them). But right now, as you stayed contorted and satiated from his efforts, his mind instantly moved to Jimin. 
“Come here, you.” 
He’d begun kissing Jimin deeply, his hand replacing Jimin’s and keeping the toy’s languid pace. “Hard or soft?” he asked Jimin, kissing across his cheek to his ear, “I’ll let you pick.” 
“I want it ha-”
“Ugh, whatever,” you scoffed. 
You slid off the bed, and stood beside them. “You know,” you said to Namjoon, “If you preferred guys, you should just fuck guys instead of messing around with people’s feelings.”
“Hey, that doesn’t mean I don’t like you,” he insisted, reaching out for you before you pulled away. “I think you’re great, and really hot. This is just how threesomes work. I can’t leave Jimin high and dry.”
“Then what’s her name, Namjoon?” asked Jimin. Namjoon sensed the coldness in his tone, “If she’s so great and so hot, what’s her name?”
“She knows what her name is,” Namjoon laughed softly. “She doesn’t…need me to tell her…”
You gasped, eyes wide in realization, “You don’t remember my fucking name, do you?!”
“Oh, he knew at one point,” Jimin intervened, “But then he forgets. Like I said, forgetful guy. He’d forget his head if it wasn’t on his shoulders.” 
“Jimin!”
“You’re ‘Sexy Barista’ on his phone-”
Namjoon gave a hard spank to his ass, but Jimin only giggled at his and your pain. “Look, who cares about names, anyways? I think nicknames are cuter,” he immediately excused, “You can be Sweet Pe-”
“-Fuck you, Namjoon!” you shouted, smacking him across the face. “Don’t ever call me again.”
You muttered a very unforgivable slur, and stalked out of the room. “You should’ve put her name as ‘Slutty Bitch Hoe-Bag Cunt Twat Stupid as Fuck Whore Face Shit-”
“-That’s enough, Jimin.” 
Namjoon heard you walking about the living room, most likely finding your clothes and getting dressed. He supposed that was the end of his fun time with you. He turned back to see Jimin no longer using the toy, but rather holding it in his hand. Namjoon saw the annoyed look on Jimin’s face, and frowned. He crawled back over to him, cupped his cheek, and kissed him softly. Perhaps he did like men more. He knew he liked Jimin.  He didn’t stop him as Jimin rolled him onto his back and mounted him, sliding the stiff member inside him easily. The quick motion caused both of them to moan in unison. Namjoon was compelled to push up into him, but he maintained restraint. 
“I’m going,” Jimin breathed, rocking his hips back and forth, “To make you cum harder, longer, and more times than that little skank ever could. You stay there and watch.” 
“Yes, sir,” Namjoon laughed through a moan, hands up against the headboard. 
And Jimin began to prove exactly why Namjoon should give up on stupid college girls.
66 notes · View notes
jayz4dayz · 4 years ago
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Kakegurui character headcanons that are canon in my eyes (Part 3)
Midari: 
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You already know this bitch has done hard drugs. She’s probably a dealer at Hyakkaou too ngl
Actually very intelligent and could get all A’s if she cared enough to
Canonly lesbian
She/they vibes 
Hardcore energy drink consumer. Monster and Redbull cans are all over the floor of her dorm room
If you simp for her… ya got mommy and daddy issues, luv-
Is physically touchy toward everyone, but lowkey recoils when someone she doesn’t know or trust touches her
Actively tries to annoy the shit out of both Sayaka and Yuriko as her way of showing her affection 
Night person
I can see her actively practicing witchcraft 
Favorite holiday is Halloween 
Probably has a glass eye somewhere but doesn’t bother putting it in because the eyepatch is a ✨look✨
Was the kid in school who ate glue or play dough 
Is best friends with Sayaka. Do not fight me on this
Needs to go to therapy. Honestly, who doesn’t in that school
Weapon of choice is her revolver, of course <3
Will often lay in Yuriko’s lap because Yuriko actually lets her. It’s one of her favorite things to do when she needs to unwind
Slytherin. 100% a Slytherin. 
Has at least one tattoo somewhere and nipple piercings too if we’re being honest
Can’t stand hot weather and prefers the cold 
Avid fan and listener of the band Mother Mother
Canonly almost shot a person on accident or on purpose with her revolver
Will flirt with Kirari just to piss off Sayaka 
Will flirt with Yuriko just to see her get flustered 
(Y’all can come after me all you want for this one) Has a crush on Yuriko
ESTP-A personality type
Has a pet tarantula
Most likely had a pen explode in her mouth while she was chewing on it in class at some point
Everyone asks “where is Midari?” but no one asks “how is Midari?” 
Favorite color is black or purple 
For SURE owns at least one choker 
Yuriko: 
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Refuses to take hard drugs but has accidentally gotten high off her ass from an edible. Midari’s edible, mind you
Is the mom friend of the group 
Owns a minivan and drives Midari and Runa places
Has a dent on the side of the same minivan because Midari hit the side of it with a shopping cart that Runa was in
Nurse vibes tbh
Keeps her eyes closed because she’s lowkey blind and can’t see much anyway 
Ravenclaw all the way
Was a horse girl in elementary school 
Has either really beautiful emerald green eyes or average Hudson-river colored brown eyes. Will we ever know?
Is secretly a cat girl. Why else do you think I used that image in particular for her
Easily flustered 
Has a crush on Midari but is still confused about her sexuality 
She sure as hell ain’t straight tho. Not in that school...
An only child
Is struggling, but wears a smile regardless 
Stepped on a butterfly once and sobbed
Ya know... say what you want, but I get vegetarian/vegan vibes from her 
Avid hot tea drinker 
Has pollen allergies
Morning person 
Prefers warmer weather and hates the rain
Has spa days with Yumemi once and a while
Can’t lift anything heavier than twenty pounds probably 
Would be on the Volley ball team if she wasn’t head of the Culture Club 
Several girls in her club have a huge crush on her and compete against Midari to gain her affection and attention 
Has straight A’s 
Idk why, but I can’t see her knowing how to swim
Gets cold easily 
Wears kimonos even when she’s at home 
Enjoys reading classical literature
Also enjoys listening to classical music
Would never admit this, but she listens to K-pop 
Has a hidden talent for drawing 
ISFJ-T personality type 
Weapon of choice is a bo-staff (which is really just a broom stick)  or Midari
Can speak Japanese, Korean, and Mandarin 
Runa: 
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Has absolutely done crack and likely a handful of other drugs 
Has a sugar addiction, but we already knew that one
G R E M L I N     E N E R G Y
Most likely has ADHD or ADD or both even 
I saw somewhere that said she’s 18?? Like, what?? She looks like she’s 12 tf... 
Asexual/Aromatic icon 
Hufflepuff vibes, but I can also kinda see her as a Slytherin
Jokingly homophobic towards Kirasaya and Yuridari 
Will drink nothing aside from soda or energy drinks 
Not a furry, contrary to popular belief. Just enjoys her onesies. Let her live her life jeez
Canonly a baddie 
Short, but will not hesitate in destroying your kneecaps 
Actually really close to the Momobami and Ikishima family
Plays video games with Midari almost every day after school since Aoi left 
Ironically uses “UwU” and “Ara, ara” but does not ironically call people a simp. Can you blame her? She’s surrounded by wlw
Will beat you in Mario Cart. Yes she will. I don’t care how good you think you are
Has managed to not break a single bone in her body despite her size 
Is good at every subject except for geography
Can’t drive, but owns a scooter which she’ll use to get to school if Yuriko is unable to drive her
Owns a pair of Heely’s with wheels  
Unironically wears socks with sandals 
Also wears crocs 
Listens to rap 
Is fast af. “Zoom, zoom, bitches!” 
Secretly a badass gambler
Gets approximately 2-5 hours of sleep each night because she stays up playing video games
Naps during her classes 
Listens and ignores whenever Kirari is pining over Sayaka and talking to her about it
ENFP-A personality type
I can see her owning a hedgehog for some reason, but also a rabbit 
Would probably get away with murder if we’re being honest 
Is not a natural blonde 
Two faced. Like seriously, don’t get on this bitch’s bad side. She’ll destroy you
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incorrectgreekgods · 4 years ago
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My Friend’s Opinions On Various Greek Gods From Greek Mythology
Let me preface this by saying- I’m the one into mythology. My friends are going off of a two month unit three years ago and whatever mythology they’ve read/absorbed from modern media. None of this is taken to be offensive, and it is all based off of Ancient Greek Mythology and not hellenic polytheism. 
Now! Here are five of my friend’s impressions:
Isadora
Zeus - whore Poseidon - water Hades - meanie Persephone - gets caught by meanie Demeter - no fuckign idea Hera - i think she's a mommy? Hestia - also no fucking idea Athena - big brains Hermes - hehe that's my bestie Apollo - golden hourrrr Artemis - baddie asf Hephaestus - big muscle blacksmith Aphrodite - pretty Ares - meanier meanie Dionysus - naked drunkard
Santana
Zeus - needs to keep it in his pants Poseidon - water guy Hades - vibes=immaculate minus him being like a killer Persephone - she’s chill funny Demeter - idk this man Hera - a little jelly of her mans but she’s chill Hestia - idk this girl Athena - thriving Hermes - speedy man with funny shoes Apollo - bow and arrow guy i think Artemis - baddie Hephaestus - who is this man Aphrodite - pretty one i think Ares - needs anger management Dionysus - drunk uncle
Sasha (who popped off???)
Zeus ⁃god sky, lightning, etc. ⁃sleeps with literally anything that breathes ⁃Terrible husband to Hera but they somehow make it work ⁃Last son to be barfed up by Kronos ⁃Leader of the gods (but like super bad at his job because the gods are always fighting?)
Poseidon ⁃Water ⁃Likes his angry, drunk cyclops children ⁃Sleeps with a lot of things too but is overshadowed by Zeus
Hades ⁃Death ⁃Hella depressed ⁃Honestly a pretty chill dude until her abducts women ⁃Husband to persephone ⁃The third wheel of him, Zeus, and Poseidon
Persephone ⁃Purple, flowers ⁃Demeter’s daughter ⁃Hot as fuck ⁃Pretty chill after being kidnapped ⁃Married Hades - lil bit of a shady situation but whatever they seem happy
Demeter ⁃Agriculture, growing ⁃Carries a scythe around and honestly that’s so badass ⁃“What sort of women doesn’t have an axe?” vibes ⁃idk what else I mean got super mad when her daughter was abducted but Id be concerned if she wasn’t
Hera ⁃Marriage, family ⁃Kinda ironic seeing as her husband is cheating on her 24/7 ⁃But also their marriage has stayed together so maybe she does have the secret to making a successful partnership ⁃Anyways she is jealous of zeus ⁃OH also she turns the lovers of his she catches into animals which sucks for the lovers but DAMN I love her
Hestia ⁃hearth, home ⁃SO sweet ⁃Nobody on Olympus deserves her ⁃Poseidon tried to marry her which in my opinion was a terrible idea
Athena ⁃Wisdom, strategy, cunning, war ⁃Thriving hard ⁃Big brain moment ⁃Um owl? ⁃Makes fun of other gods while they make fun of her but she always wins
Hermes ⁃Traveling, messages (LMAO originally I wrote massages and now I can totally see it) ⁃Sneaky little shit ⁃Has little shoes with wings and two snakes ⁃Makes stupid mistakes but manages to get out of punishment ⁃Gay ⁃Gay for Apollo  
Apollo ⁃Sun, music, arts ⁃Muses (I think he’s slept with all of them right?) ⁃Would 100% be the most followed person on Insta just for his golden hour shots ⁃Pan ⁃Gay for Hermes
Artemis ⁃Hunting, forrest, femininity ⁃Fucking awesome ⁃Sleeps with all her huntresses but it just hits different than Zeus ⁃Bow and arrow and other cool stuff to kill people  
Hephaestus ⁃Forge, metal work, armory, blacksmith ⁃Chucked from mount Olympus when he was a baby ⁃Serious daddy and mommy issues ⁃Loves Aphrodite but she is just not on the same level
Aphrodite ⁃Love, beauty ⁃Doesn’t seem to give two shits about anyone but she’s honestly thriving ⁃She and ares are in a thing but she’s definitely owning that relationship
Ares ⁃War ⁃Stupid? idk he seems to loose every war he starts ⁃Loves of Aphrodite but he knows he’s about to lose her
Dionysus ⁃Drunk all the time ⁃Um I literally have no idea what he does other than party and get drunk ⁃Respect for his lack of goals in life
Emily
Zeus - wanna lightning bolt your small dick off Poseidon - cool water guy who made Odysseus’ life bad lol TEAM POSEIDON Hades - underworld dude with a weird ass dog. kidnapped then married Persephone. Reminds me of creepy old men on the internet your parents warn you about.   Persephone - fucking hot and should be more appreciative that hades wants her that badly (jealousy) Demeter - seriously please hack my face off w your scythe my agricultural top Hera - milf. that’s all. AND WAY TOO GOOD FOR SMALL DICK MAN Hestia - hearth? Huh? Athena - baddest bitch around. intelligent, owl, blood kink, probably. Hermes - mailman with shoe game. GAY Apollo - music, the sun, def part of the lgbtq+ community. Artemis - BADDEST BITCH AROUND. Huntress, cool weapons, and i would pay so much money to have her rail me dominatrix style ( bring the bow please) Hephaestus - blacksmith right? simps for Aphrodite (as he should). mommy AND daddy issues. Aphrodite - beauty, love, hot asf Ares - war, and has serious anger issues. I’ll give you my therapists card babe Dionysus - drunk all the time, reminds me of moms who have the wine glasses that say “it’s moms turn to wine”.
Norie
Zeus - shitty husband, couldn’t keep it in his pants Poseidon - water guy, hate this mf cause of Medusa, def least fav god Hades - underworld ruler, people who like him think their quirky (Ik cause it used to be me) Persephone - so hot, pls rail me, sry she got stockholm syndrome but like I would be flattered if anyone cared enough to kidnap me Demeter - top, grain mf, could fuck me with her scythe Hera - could top me, needed a good divorce lawyer Hestia - goddess of hearth? Don’t rly know much abt her but like I think she’s the oldest of her siblings Athena - smart one, owl bitch, also a whore for war Hermes - idk remember much, mischief, wings? Apollo - bisexual disaster, music bitch Artemis - hunter, could shoot me with her bow and I would say thank you Hephaestus - no thoughts at all, wait is this the guy who was with Pandora? Idk but like I think he was a blacksmith Aphrodite - hot Ares - war, a little over the top Dionysus - drunk, alcohol addiction rivals isadora’s
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georgesbee · 4 years ago
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Daddy’s little girl Part.2//G.W
Paring: George.Weasley x (Y/N) reader
Warning: smut, +18, dirty talk, chocking, blowjob, fuckfacing, being rough, Quckie, touchy ,kissing,abuse, knife play (knife play is not that much) and everybody should know that they just toxic , some people have this issue and Problem it’s really bad and sick and not good so if u feel uncomfortable with it than don’t read it ur Problem but don’t wonder why it is so sick. Many people have that problem that they like someone but they are very toxic and she acutely gets abused from him and manipulated.
⚠️Another Warning⚠️: sorry guys, it‘s very long, especially the intro, but promise it is worth it. I've tried very hard. Give notice for Part 3.
Tags: @georgeweasleyx @georgeweasleysgirl @vogueweasley @slytherweasley @fredweasleygeorgeweasley @weasleysgfxx @weasleysbees @slytherinnpride @baddies @smuttyassholes @georgeweasleysgirl @a-pervy-nerd @gweaslvy @morganmal @come-and-get-it6
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— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
It has now been a week since George who hit for the first time and literally killed you and then you two did it.
Nothing has changed so much since that day. George is still the same as you are except for one thing. You were afraid, afraid that george will hurt you very, very much, and will be more palpable than usual. You were afraid it would happen so you never tried to question him or yell at him. Of course you loved him very much anyway and you didn't know why, except him. Sometimes you think about finding disadvantages and breaking up, but your behind thought tells you that he is your god and that you should never do that. So you cleaned and cooked for him like other things. You did everything he wanted. What George sees and he always confesses his love to you and sometimes massaged you in bed and kissed all over your body and down to your ass and didn’t stop massaging you. and you loved it so much. Sometimes you just want to jump on him and kiss him fully, and make him really comfortable until you hear his little quiet groans say your name and his hands touch your body.
In any case, after the spectacle, george began to make it clear to you that he is the man in the house and that you only belong to him. that's why he made rules.
the first rule was 1: you are not allowed to go anywhere without asking him.
2: don't meet any other boy
3: don't dance with any other boy at parties.
4: never get rude to him.
5: never lie to your daddy.
6: cook for him, and whoever he wants then give it to him too.
These rules had to be followed otherwise there were always punishmends. which he always loved to do. You had done these regularly really well.
— — — — — — — — — — —
"haha" was all I heard the whole time and how they told jokes about their wives from my boyfriend and his friends. I heard all of this with a few women from my boyfriends friends and we all went to the bar and got our men a beer because they treated us like their cleaning ladies the whole time. Whenever me and George go to the club (main quarters) from the gang then there are always his friends with whom he always meets and not to forget the girlfriends of the men. I always had to hang out with the women while the men were all together. I can say one thing: I didn't like these women, I think they are bitchy. But there was one thing where we were the same, we were all treated the same. every time we meet a girl starts to burst into tears because her Boyfriend would have hit her or allmost killed her but they only started to cry properly when they said that they still loved their men so crazy. Sometimes our conversations were intimate and we would tell how our men were in bed this time. Those were the things I liked about the girls, we were all open and honest. And what each of us admits that we are all afraid of our men and do everything they want so that they do not just hit us once although we love the sex afterwards.
"and Y / N does george still talk about what happened days ago" Luci asked me. "no not anymore. but I'm sure something will happen."
"After all, he now made rules for me , I don't want to think about what will happen if I don't follow them". "Oh, all of us got these rules, nothing new." said sarah
"yes and the punishment would be great hard sex" said luci again. "yes or he contest you again and hit you, I'm sorry but we all have to go through it". One bar keeper gave us the beers. "eight and more know immediately they'll call us now because of the beers, I'm sure the first thing when we go to them we'll make out with them and we'll smell that alcohol again." Everyone started to laugh, then we stopped because it actually happend .
"Hey ... ladys come over to us, do you have our drinks?" asked mario Luci's boyfriend. "yes baby we are coming" luci ran over to him and gave him a kiss on the mouth, he then drank his beer and she sat on his lap. We all also went to our friends who were still laughing and seducing us with their eyes.
"here baby, your beer" you gave george his drink. he took it sloppily from your hands. and formed a sign with his hands that you should sit down next to him. When you sat down next to him, he sat you on his lap. where he gave a gentle tender kiss on your shoulders. It tickled but his lips were so warm and tender.
you could see the love of luci that was in that kiss. Mario put his hands on her hips and pressed them closer to him between his legs. and returned the kiss.
"I'm sorry for her," said Sarah. " Why?" I asked. " this poor girl was recently beaten by him until she was soft, she still has a few bruises on her arm "I was shocked, I mean we were All beaten up by our boyfriends. That’s how guys are in a gang. But I could feel her pain . "And the poor thing couldn’t still do something or say something to him?"
“Y / N these guys are horny and hot but they are completely crazy. Do you do something wrong or say something and don't populate their rule, I'm sorry but then you will be beaten so badly till you finally check it. Only a woman counts for them who is sexy, beautiful, has a good character and can cook well and who can do everything for them, "explained chantal.
" Already really sick, " I said. " Well, we have no other chance than to love them "said sarah
"yes, but inside we really love them" said Chantal. "god doesn't even know why" we all started to laugh.
when we looked at Luci again we saw Mario forcing her to sit on his lap. She smiled anyway. you could see they were all drunk. All the men laughed for some reason, definitely they are just too drunk.
the other three men looked at us that should say we should come. "What are you waiting for, don't leave me alone" Luci admitted to us.
"Off to the war" were the last words from us and ran towards her. I could already see George's face as he looked at me with that crooked, dirty smile and finished his drink and held a cigarette in his other hand.
"Hey baby" he said with the same smile as whoever he was going to fuck me. "hey daddy" I went to him next to it and wanted to sit down next to him. But he grabbed me with his big firm hands on my hip and pressed me on his lap so that I sat on him.
"do you have my beer?" I gave it to him. "Well done," he whispered against my neck that gives me gense skin every time. He stroked my hair away from the neck so that he had a lot of flat. He spread his legs and gave soft little kisses from my neck to my shoulders. "you are so beautiful" he whispered in my ear.
All the men were drunk and touched their friends in the most uncomfortable places and we women didn't say a word about it. Goerge put his drink on the table and touched your thighs and kissed you back up to your neck. His hands slowly wandered under your top. Fu started twitching with fright.
"Guess what's going on, we don't want to continue somewhere else," he said, grinning like a devil.
"It's nothing but now we should all stop looking". Really, no one had looked except for George's drunken friends. She grinned at George, this look bared everything like: '' Fuck her, she'll do whatever you want anyway it. '' He just went up with his hands and touched your soft, delicate skin and caressed it and was almost on your chest. But you had put your hands on his and pushed his hands away.
"There are too many people here".
“ ich You also want me to touch and knead your breasts and rub your nipples around. and then stick my big fingers in your sweet little lower lips again and again.“
of your thoughts how he would make it real how he told you would make your face red. You knew he would do it directly, no matter who was watching everything, he was really drunk, only thing you hated about him but you liked it at the same time because he treated you like his servant and toy. I know it sounds stupid but if you thought about it, it turned me on even more. But you had to stay strong even though it was a giant who knows what he would do if he was drunk and aggressive at the same time.
"No" you turned your head away from him and pulled your shirt down. your friend shook over at u with a disappointed look. she knew and u knew what could happen but sometimes you have to face your friend. George snorted and took a sip of his drink. You could feel from behind how frustrated he was, which made you smile for a moment.
"my drink is empty bring me a new one" said george
you got up and went to the bar . when you were about to order you saw a boy sitting down next to you.
"Hey, little one," said the dark hairy guy next to you.
"Hello," you said, slightly confused. "my name is cole, and you little one"
"it's none of your business" "Oh, so you want to play with me like that"
"I don't want to play anything" you said shortly afterwards the waiter came "a beer please"
"It's on me," said Cole to the waiter. "why are you doing this" . "I would do anything pretty girls like you do"
I was very flattered and he wasn't ugly either. He had dark brown hair, brown eyes, he had muscles. And he wore rings too.
"I have a friend" "I don't see him" you briefly peeked at George. He didn't look.
He began to lightly caress your cheek and made a tear of hair behind your ear "so again, what's your name?" "Y / N" "a very nice name"
"Thank you" I was very flattered. His hand ran down toefer to your thigh "he smiled at you with a crooked grin. I crossed my legs." If you are shy, you don't have to be "," I can protect you, with me you are forever safe "
"That's very cute, but I have a boyfriend" even though you didn't want it, you found him very attractive and easily drawn to him. He got up from his chair and stood in front of you, resting his hands on your bum. "If you think so differently, here you can reach me" he put a note in her neckline and ran away without bothering him that he had just touched her breast lightly.
a small grin crept onto your lips, you ran your hand lightly over where he had touched you: on your chest. You saw a small piece of paper peeping out of your top you pulled it out. the end of the note was inside your bra.
you had to giggle slightly from the contents of the note:
492346783 ~ call me.
u put the note back in your bra.
When you took the beer and got up you saw George looking over at you. when you arrived at the table you sat down on his lap. He took the drink and took a long swig. "hey .. don't drink so much" you put the drink on the table.
when you looked to the side you saw cole looking over at you from another table with guys. You looked away quickly. Thereupon you put two hands on your thigs and they went up even more slowly. It was George's hands.
He spread his legs even more and more slowly he moved his mouth back to your neck and kissed you up to your ear.
"finally stop" you said.
"shut up" he replied and continued kissing your neck. He slowly moved his hips in a circle around your butt. He grabbed your thigs harder with his hands that you twitched briefly and took his hands away.
"Get up now," he said harshly. you got up confused. He got up and took your hand and led you somewhere into a corner, then you saw the sign to the entrance of the tioletten. He took you to the young toilets in a single toilet and george closed the door. Luckily there was nobody inside who saw you.
"george what's wrong with you? and why are we in the toilet?"
George was faster than a leopart and lunged at Y / N and kissed Y / N hard on the lips. Confused, you quickly kissed back and wrapped your hands in his hair. the kiss was so full of passion and was raugh.
"It's not a good idea here," said y / n. George grabbed you by the hand by your neck and pressed you against the wall that your back started to hurt and your head hit the wall.
"Who do you shut up your mouth." He came closer to your face and now whispered next to her ear. "You didn't shut up when the guy at the desk talked to you, bet he said he wanted to fuck you". you opened your eyes as if in shock. when did he see that. "That was nothing like nothing-" "Shhhhh" he whispered on and kissed you on your mouth. "you never learn do you?" again a kiss on the mouth this time more dominant, his hand pressed more on your neck. "I learned a lot baby, we talked normally, I said I have a friend he didn't want to hear. He means nothing".
"shh" he put his index finger on your lips and kissed down on your chest and licked his tongue down to your bra and found the note and pulled it out. "what is there, ouhhh" he looked at you with his deathly eyes, your lips were committed to tremble. "Call me, it says here, ouh and what would happen of u call him. Would u meet by him Home and have hard sex, during which you scream his name"
“George please-" "please what" his voice got colder and his eyes got colder more threatening. "please don't-"
"hurt me,why shouldn't I, after all, you wanted to sleep with someone else" he got his knive out of his leather jacket pocket. your eyes widened. He brought the knife under your top and stroked your belly. The feeling of cold metal brushing on ur stomach till he cutted your bra in the middle and Took his Knive away After That he threw ur the top away from you,and stormed his lips on your breasts and licked your nipples and sucked on them. he tied the other breast with his hand.
"you are such a bitch, you are lucky that I am not killing you here now" he kissed you from your nipples to your mouth. You didn't want to know what would happen afterwards if you wouldn't kiss him back. a touch of alcohol flavor came into your mouth. It was really full of alcohol. "Are you such a dirty bitch who wants to be fucked, take off your pants" you hesitated and shivered. you try to cling to the wall, afraid that he would Hit you again. "NOW" you opened your pants and took them off.
"suck me off and your punishment at home won't be too bad," said george with his hungry eyes. because you didn't move, he gave you a firm, burning slap in the face. your head turned sideways from the blow. then he quickly pulled one hair and looked at your red cheek and your glassy eyes. He pushed you down on your lap. full of fear you looked into his eyes and opened his belt and his pants too. with the boxers you could see how tough he was. you rubbed him into his pants with your hand. then you took off his boxers. His tail showed like a boomer wrangled out. Your hands on his upper shekel and your tongue began to lick his tip and you licked his whole cock. You saw how he bent his head back.
"Now finally suck!" you started to take his cock in your mouth. first thing you sucked on its tip the whole time and slowly went down and up again. With your hands you rubbed the rest that you couldn't get into your mouth. you got faster and faster your head down and up until you tried to take it all the way in your mouth and you had to choke it.
george grunted at the sound that came out of your mouth. he whispered your name in pleasure. his tones were drawn into your hair and pulled on it. "you make me feel so good" he pulled your hair and pushed you down even more with your mouth to his cock. "You mean mine," said George in a voice that sounded like he was about to come. Tears came to your eyes as you had to gag even more. with your tongue you lick his cock again. without warning you he came into your mouth while he was saying your name.
While Fu was trying to take a break, he put on his pants and took out his knife. He pointed it at your neck and came ominously closer. you ran towards the wall. "take off your panties"
slowly and with a questioning look you took off your panties. "why do you need them" you asked. "not me but you need them"
now he smiled like a Devile. "I'll take them with me" he put the underwear Deep in his pocket. and walked closer to your face and stroked your hair away from ur forehead. "We'll finish the rest at home, my friends are waiting for me. Don't think I've finished" he went to her belly and kissed her from her belly to her pelvis and then slowly licked her thigh with his warm tongue and closer to your flower. but then he stopped and walked from the toilet back to his friends.
you had bitten your lip and it took you a while to pull yourself off. However, when you were finished and tried hard to get out of the boys toiltete raud without underpants. luckily nobody was there and you rant out and straighten your hair. when you were at the table and looked at george you had hopped that this day should not end, because of the fear of going home. The thought of what could happen at home already hurt your legs while thinking.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Part 3 Comes soon 🤍 i Hope u liked it.i know it’s long but it was hard for me. warning : in part 3 may Can be Knife Play again.🤫😂
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kniesyswrld · 4 years ago
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Teacher• j.oleksiak
(Jamie teaches you a “lesson” after class)
Warning(s): Smut
You’re 18 in this and he’s 28 (his real age)
Song Inspired By: Teacher by PRETTYMUCH
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I walked into Mr. Oleksiak’s class with a really tiny skirt and a revealing shirt that showed my boobs, I wore it just for him cause he’s the hottest teacher, even 50 year old women flirt with him.
“Good morning, class. Welcome to Biology.” Mr. Oleksiak said, he really makes biology fun, he looks me up and down and quickly looks away.
30 minutes into teaching, I can’t help but catch him keep staring at me. When he does, I wink at him and keep playing with my tits acting like I’m fixing them. He sat at his desk and I bit my lip.
“Mr. Oleksiak, what are we supposed to be doing?” I asked quietly as I went up to his desk, “Weren’t you paying attention?” He asked, I dropped my pencil “accidentally” and bend over to get it.
I look up at him as I’m on the ground with a smirk, “Sorry, I was distracted. My titties were sore and I’ve been looking for something to sooth them.” I said to him.
“Your behavior is highly inappropriate, Y/n. You must now stay for detention.” He said and the whole class gasped, “Ooh.” They all said and I flipped them off, “I’ll be there, sir.” I whispered in his ear.
I walked back to my seat, swaying my hips, knowing he was looking. “You’re such a baddie.” My best friend says to me, “At least I might be getting some of his dick.” I smirked.
“I aspire to be you.” She gushed and I smiled at her, the bell rings and I stand up. “I’ll see you soon, Mr. Oleksiak.” I winked and he bit his lip looking back at his desk.
My best friend and I squeal as we quickly walk to our lockers, “When you two get done, tell me how big his penis is.” My best friend says, “You got it, babe.” I told her.
“Bye, bitch.” She waved, “Bye, whore.” I replied and walk into Mr. Oleksiak’s classroom. He looked up from his desk at me, “Let’s just hurry this up, my pussy is shaved for you so you can lick it good.” I told him as I walked up to him.
His eye brows furrowed, “What are you talking about? You’re here because you didn’t do your work.” He said, I walked to the door and locked the door, then closed the blinds.
“I won’t tell.” I said and he shuffled a bit, “No.” He said and I sat on a desk, I spread my legs and showed I had no panties on. “Should I play with my pussy?” I asked him.
He looks at my pussy then looked away, “Y/n I’m not getting fired for you.” He said to me, I put my hand in my pussy and moaned loudly. “Mr. Oleksiak, sir, you finger me so well.” I smirked.
“Shit.” He said under his breath, I took my hand out and stood up. I bent over and showed my bare ass I began twerking and grinding near him. “Come on, Mr. Oleksiak, fuck me for being a bad whore.” I said to him.
He stands up and picked me up, “If I loose my job, watch out.” He threatens and I moan, “Yes daddy be mean to me.” I said to him, “Do you know how many times I wanted to rip this set off of you?” He asked me.
“I knew what you were thinking, sir.” I grinned and he bends me over the desk, I hear his pants unbuckle and he pulled them down. I look at his cock and gasp, “That is not gonna fit.” I said to him.
He looks at me, “You’ll take it like the good whore you are.” He said and I nod, “How many times have you thought about fucking me?” I asked him, “Everyday.” He said to me.
“Take this off.” He said and I obeyed him, he smiles at my body and licked his lips. “Don’t tell anyone.” He said to me, “It’ll be our secret, while you’re teaching them you’re going to think about how tight my pussy is as I innocently listen to the class lesson.” I said to him.
He groans and I smiled, “You know how many times I wanted to hit the guys here for talking about wanting to fucking you?” Mr. Oleksiak said to me, “Same here, but with the bitches.” I said to him.
“You’re the only bitch I find sexy.” He said to me, “Who would’ve thought you were this kinky?” I ask smirking at him, “Innocent are the kinkiest people.” He said to me.
His tip rubs my folds and I bit my lip, “Baby.” I moaned a bit, “Please, daddy.” I said to him, “Come on.” He said to me, as he lifted my ass up a bit so he could hold me while pounding into me.
“Ready?” He asked me and I nod, he pushed in me and I let out a moan. He didn’t move and I look in his eyes, “You can move.” I said to him and he began thrusting in and out of me.
My head flew back as I moaned in pleasure, “Yes, daddy, you fuck me so good.” I moaned loudly in his ear. “Fuck.” He grunts and I rolled my body against his and he kisses my neck.
“You’re so tight, princess.” He said and let’s a tiny moan slip past his lips. “Yes, daddy.” I moaned some more and he slipped his giant finger in me and started rubbing my clit.
I let out a breathy moan and I knew I was getting closer to my climax, “Mr. Oleksiak I’m gonna cum.” I moaned loudly, “Fuck me too.” He said to me and I sucked his neck.
“My job, baby.” He said to me, “Oops.” I giggled and he pounds harder. “Fuck.” I moaned loudly and he covers my mouth, “No.” He said and I lick his hand so he moved it.
His cock twitched inside me and my pussy clenched around him, “I’m going to cum.” I say and he nods his head, “Me too, fuck!” He said to me and I kissed his lips.
“1..2..3..” He said and we both released with loud moans, “Fuck.” He breathed out as he lays against me, “Sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked me, “No that was amazing.” I said to him.
He grabs the sides of my face and kissed me, “I’m in love with you, Y/n Y/l/n.” He said to me and I smiled, “I’m in love with you too, Mr. Oleksiak.” I said back to him.
“Call me Jamie, Mr. Oleksiak sounds a bit inappropriate to be moaning or saying I love you too.” He said and I nod, “I love you too, Jamie.” I corrected my mistake from earlier.
He smiled and kisses me again, “Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked me, “Yes!” I said to him and he smiled, “Can I take you home?” He asked me and I nodded my head.
“I’d love that.” I said and he smiled, he put his clothes on but I couldn’t move. “Sorry.” He chuckled and puts my clothes on for me, he picks me up and held my hand.
We walked out the classroom and he lets go of my hand, he walked behind me so I wouldn’t fall as I limped to his car, thankful no people were here and all went home.
“Let me help you sit.” He said and opened my door before closing it and coming around, “Ready to go, babe?” He asked, “I wanna stay with you longer.” I whined.
He smiles, “I know and I want to stay with you longer but your parents will get worried.” He said to me and I nod, “You are right.” I shrugged and he quickly pecks my lips.
“Let’s go, lovey.” He said and placed his hand on my thigh before driving me home.
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bates--boy · 3 years ago
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The first thing Naseem said when he popped his head up from the spare pillows, eyes still bleary slits as he scanned around the room from his spot on Peter’s couch was, “Oh, shit...” The second, as he followed Peter into the kitchen on unsteady legs and watched as his host made coffee and heated some frozen French toast sticks was, “Thanks for letting me crash here.” The third, as they scarfed down breakfast and Naseem flipped the phone over as it buzzed with a succession of missed call notifications and incoming text messages, was, “I just got an idea.”
--
          COME HANG OUT WITH US!
          The premiere announcement was sent out a couple days ago after Mike agreed to the proposal, right on the day that Naseem shared his bright idea post-edibles.
          Five minutes ‘til they had to go live. Almost 1,500 people waiting, pooled from both Peter’s and Mike’s channels; fifty-six likes jumping to two hundred now that they were close to go-time. Peter knew he had to stop reading the analytics, had to stop nibbling on his lip else they’d be too chapped for the premiere, stop raking his fingers through his ponytail or the ends will split or clump from his hand cream. He looked past his phone and up to where Mike and Naseem were finishing the setup. Ring light glowing softly, desktop tripod standing at the ready. The camera, after being charged and tested, now connected to the laptop. 
         With showtime nearing, there was usually another rundown of the setlist, but it was simple enough, and they had a little scrap of paper with the outline and an estimate of the runtime at a half-hour. 
       And before Peter knew it, before he could realize that post-edible clarity sprouted bad ideas, that this was a bad idea, that this may very well ruin his channel, that this was nothing like Inner City Lights and oh, god, he was going to embarrass himself live and the Internet is forever-- Mike clapped and Peter jolted. 
       “Alright, buddy, showtime!”
         So, all three settled in front of the camera, doing some last minute preening as the timer ticked off the seconds. Peter felt his mouth go dry, felt his fingers tingle.
         Thirty seconds, and the air whooshed into his body.
         Ten seconds, and his mind fooled himself into being the baddest bitch in the game...
          3...
          2...
          1...
         “Ay yo, ay yo, ay yo! Wassup, y’all!” Peter called out to the camera, to the chat blasting off, to the now two-K tuning in. “How are we feeling today? Is the stream running smoothly for everyone? You guys can hear us?”
          The live chat filled with thumbs-up emojis and hearts.
          “Aight, cool,” Mike said. He leaned back, hands going up to his head to straighten his cap then folding and wringing together on the table. “Some of y’all know me as Mickey Mic Droppa, some of y’all know Naseem from the Rap Tournament scene, and some of y’all know Pete from his own channel, Pretty Petty Petey.”
          “Today,” Naseem chimed in, “we figured we’d rap with y’all. Chill out, chat, get to know y’all and vice versa.”
          “Have a little concert, maybe. We’ll even have a Q and A later on, but essentially,” Mike said, “I met Pete through Naseem after their first showing of Inner City Lights.”
        Naseem waved a finger in the air. “Last showing’s next week. So, definitely go see it if you haven’t yet!”
        “Yeah, I definitely recommend it,” Mike stated. “And not because my best friend is in the star role. Anyways, Naseem introduced us, and we have been, I don’t know how to put it...”
        “Vibing?” Peter offered.
       Mike shrugged and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, vibing. But Naseem and Pete had hit me up with this livestream idea, and, you know, we had been actually talking about getting Pete into the local hip-hop scene.”
          “And the Battle Royale,” Naseem added.
          “Yep, the Battle Royale. But first, we want to do a test run. An experiment, if you will. So...” Mike leaned over to Peter, nudging their shoulders together. “We got a little treat for you. Ain’t that right, Pete?”
          Peter hung his head and snorted. He raised his head and shook his hair out of his eyes. “Yeah, yeaaaaah.” 
         Naseem murmured, “So, you wanna tell ‘em, or you wanna jump right in?”
        Peter looked away and tilted his head to think it over. “Hm... Let’s jump right in.”
          His body would have shivered from the cold stone that plunked in his gut. He had thought this part over; he prepared himself, even though it was technically cheating and the counterintuitive overthinking that Naseem advised against.
        But the other two men looked at each other, shrugging with their goofy grins.
         Mikey brought his hands to his mouth, and Naseem drummed his hands on the table as he said, “Introduce yourself, my guy!”
            Peter, for all the sensation of vomiting, nodded along, staring off to the side lightly slapping the table so his own drumming wouldn’t drown out Naseem. He cleared his throat.
          Freestyle is fun, Pete, Mike told him. Remember that.
         Peter did remember that, and for some ungodly reason, he crossed his eyes and blew a raspberry.
          “Whaddup, Karlstad, so glad we could meet!           I’m known round these parts as Baby Pete           College grad, hella rad, and yeah I said that           High swinger, always ready ta go to bat           I’m uhmmmm...”
          Peter pulled a face, eyes darting left then right to his collaborators. Naseem jabbed his elbow into Pete’s arm, somehow without missing a beating.
          “Uhmm...”
         “Just think of something!” Mike stage whispered.
          Peter gave an exaggerated shrugged. “Uhmmm...
           “I’m uh... five-eleven            Supermodel, cat daddy            Waking up like this, damn            Look in the mirror, sayin’ ‘that’s a baddie’
         Peter felt his cheeks bloom red, but exhilaration swelling his chest. Holy shit! He thought.
           Student of the sea, and life’s voyager            Even out in the ocean, I grew up a forager            Can’t touch the ground, I’m always in the sky            Got sleepless nights and stars in my eyes            Ask my Papa, he’d tell ya           He raised a hella hyped hustla           Prolly say, ‘Don’t step in front of the kitten           Unless ya want ya ankles bleeding and bitten’          But let’s wrap this up before you get bored         I’m bilingual, bisexual, but a triple force.”
         “Whoo!” Mike cheered as he threw up his hands.
         Naseem chuckled and ruffled Peter’s hair. “Aaaaaah, see! I knew it wouldn’t be that bad!”
          “Of course, you wouldn’t think so, you taught him,” Mike teased. He started reading the chat. “Hey! Be nice! Alright, let’s get to the questions. Who’s first?”
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wakandascrystal · 5 years ago
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BET. I
Erik x BlackReader
Summary: Erik and his friends place a bet to get with you little does he know who you and family are. 
Part 2 
...............
It was a Sunday afternoon. Erik and his friends had decided to hang out at their regular spot. It was a joint Jadyn, Erik’s friend found. It had a music store in the front. Wall to wall with new and vintage CD’s, Tapes and Vinyl. But at the back was a lounging area, they served drinks. You also had the option to listen to what you had bought after.
Erik, Jadyn, Cole and Trey Had been coming here since high school. They loved it and they felt comfortable there. 
"Candice just texted me...Shit! I don't know what to do about her man. " 
Erik's friend Cole put down his phone and covered his face with both his hands after seeing a text from his ex-girlfriend.
Erik slid the phone down to his side of the table. "Let me see this."
He unlocked the phone and saw the massive text chain. 
“Are you still fighting with her?” Jadyn asked 
“Why do you even talk to her bro. She is so fucking toxic.....but then again she is thicker than a bowl o-“ Erik hit Trey in the chest 
“Shut up. He’s still in love with her. Don't do that. ” He let out a chuckle so did the others. 
“Are you done reading my shit.”
He skipped over the part where she was waffling about her feelings and read the last line.
"...Cole...she misses you and she wants to talk." Erik gave him a sly smile.
“We all know what that means?“ Trey let out. 
"I told you not to fall for bitches... pretty face, ass for days...now look. She be at your job, at your mom's....she acting like Mrs Cole Smith most of the time. "
Cole threw a punch at Erik's shoulder.
"Man stop acting like you the God at getting and letting go of bitches," Trey added
"You right I don't have to act. Cause I'm a God at that shit."
"that's because you're like Swae Lee...you only got one type...The high maintenance girls with daddy issues, who just wants to sit on your face and get a ride in your whip." Jadyn teased while throwing back a handful of salted peanuts
"Are you, by any chance insinuating that I only attract one type of girl and that I cannot keep any woman's attention," Erik said dramatically
Cole took a sip of his beer amused by Erik's realization. 
"Yes ...oh yes that exactly what I'm saying....since high school all the girls you've been with have looked the same...think about." 
Erik had never really thought about. He liked what he liked...so what, he thought.
"..There was Brenda, LaTisha, Linda..." Jadyn started raping the DMX verses. 
Erik deadpanned while Cole and Trey laughed out loud.
"....and the best part is even if you did go for a girl that wasn't your type ..she wouldn't like you....you suck when it comes to the romantic department. Man believe it or not but there are women out there who have standards."
"Any bitch would be lucky to have me look in their direction." Erik murmured
Cole coughed a bit and Erik felt offended.
"You very funny.... okay!... Check this out...prove it. You see that shawty over there..with the headwrap....the one in white." 
Erik turned. He saw you picking out vinyls. He looked you up and down.
"If you can get her to go on 10 dates with you and get her to drop the L word...and you can provide proof....we will give you 1 grand each."
"What! I do not have time for this bullshit." Jadyn blurted out
" Jadyn....tell me you don't want to see Erik The almighty pussy Slayer crash and burn.."
Cole egged him on.
While the three friends were arguing Erik locked his eyes on you. The Challenge sparked interest in him. 
You were different, definitely not his type. You had no large obnoxious name brand logo on your clothes or bag. Nor did you look like a conventional baddie that he usually goes for.
You looked like you smelled of vanilla and peach oils. Like you drank soya milk, meditated 3 hours a day and did yoga. He thought your body was cute..or nice ....the ass and titties could have been bigger though. Your hair didn't bother him. It looked pretty but he was just thinking about the logistics of it.
How does it look down?
How long was it? He wanted to know.
"Okay, I'll do it!" They went quite.
"You will?" Trey asked to verify
"Yeah. 10 dates? She has to say she loves me? Got It?” He was feeling confident. He leaned back in his chair. 
“Wait...one more thing you have to smash. “ 
“Yeah“ Cole shouted. “On the fifth date, you should have smashed... “ Erik nodded his head.
He stood up from his chair, downed his beer and walked over to you.
+++++++++++++++++++
“Why don't you get both.“ 
Your eyes shot up to him. He was too close to you so you stepped back wanted your personal space back. Erik noted that.
“I can't. I'm buying one for my dad and one for my uncle.“
“You're going to make your dad choose between Diana Ross and Ray Charles.“ You huffed at the stranger.
“He loves them both. But he can only get one.“ Erik looked over your face as you held the vinyls in your hand. Your face was soft and your lips pouty.
“What's your name?” he asked, eyes still on your soft golden skin.
“My name isn't going to help me pick one.“ you said in a whiny voice stressed about the decision you had to make. You really wanted to impress your father on his birthday. 
“ Well...I'm Erik..“
“I know. Your chain told the world your Erik...In what seems like 24k carats.“
“Okay ..let's make an exchange. I buy you any vinyls you want  and I take you out sometime.”
“Eww.“ Your outburst surprised Erik.
“Is that your game plan. Buy your way into my pants. I have my own money. Thank you.“
You move past him to the 90's sections. 
Browsing the Cds Erik followed. He had to come up with a better strategy. Throwing money at you wasn't going to work. He thought as you read the cd in your hand. 
Empathy. You looked like the caring type. Maybe you the type that falls for the weak and broken type of guy. He cleared his throat.
“Okay, my bad. I just...” He let out a fake sigh “ I just came out of a bad break up...Its been a while I mean.“
“....Shouldn't you give your heart time to heal from her....or him.“ You stepped away from him again. 
“Its been a year. I need to move on now.“ He looked down at his fingers, his face painted sadness. Of course, Erik was faking it but you fall for it. You noticed how handsome and tall he was. His locs. They were much shorter than yours but still suited him perfectly. He looked hurt. Seemed like whoever he spook of had hurt him pretty bad. 
“Y/N. My name is Y/N.“ 
“Y/N that's a beautiful name.“
“I'll make sure to tell my mom.“
Erik knew he had to act now while you were vulnerable to him.
“Let me take you out. One date if I bore you ...you won't have to see me again.“
“Okay.” You gave him your phone to type in his number, after saving it you warned him. 
“Don't mess with me, Erik. I'm serious. For your own good... “ You walked away to pay for the item you held to your chest. 
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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 4 years ago
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The End of Year Awards Are Back... and This Time, It’s Personal!
And so we approach the end of 2020, the year that never really began. On paper, at least, it looked incredibly promising. There were lots of great movies slated to come out; culture seemed slightly less paucity-riddled and pointless than usual; good things were in the air. Then COVID happened, and basically fucked everything. Actually, that’s not quite true: my personal year has been fucking spectacular. I’m in a long-term relationship with a gorgeous woman for the first time in forever- no more abrupt trysts and stolen moments for yer humble narrator: I’ve got a sumptuously plus-size lady-friend who actually wants to spend substantial amounts of time me (and has knockers you could sled down, were you so inclined). I also started a Youtube channel where I upload performances of magic tricks I’ve designed and a few people seem to quite like it. Oh, and I’ve written four novels, with a fifth well on its way to completion. Unfortunately, that’s my life, not the life of our civilisation and culture as a whole. The fact that bugger all happened in that makes this end-of-year round-up a little hard to write. With that in mind, I’m going to hand out the gongs for 2020, but I’m also going to do my usual dodge of giving end-of-year awards to things that I discovered in 2020, even if they came out the year, decade or century before. It’s not like any right-minded person gives a hoot about my opinion anyway. Right then, everyone clear on the rules? Then let’s roll up our sleeves and plunge elbow deep into the fetid trough of our decaying society to ferret out the best and worst of the Things That Humans Have Done Recently.
The ‘I Like It Because It Confused Thick People’ Award for Best High-Concept Sci-Fi Movie... … Goes to the sterling Tenet, a spy film that used entropy inversion and symmetric, opposite-direction timelines within the same physical space the way most spy films use hacking and guns. Christopher Nolan films are always intricately constructed and meticulously-executed, but this one must have had Japanese Master Puzzle-Box Makers crying into their breakfast cereal. Is breakfast cereal a thing in Japan? I honestly I have no idea. For some reason, all I can imagine is a sort of dry kedgeree where all the ingredients that aren’t rice have been removed. But I digress. For all its intricacy, Tenet is actually really easy to follow once you’ve grasped the basic premise that there’s a machine that lets people move backwards through time, and that this makes them appear to move in reverse to the rest of the world while they perceive the rest of the world as moving in reverse. Nolan maintains a mastery of cinematic visual language that makes even the most abstruse concept easy to wrap your head around. Nonetheless, following Tenet’s release, dumb people took to the Internet on mass to complain that the film was confusing and stupid, never once realising that their inability to conceptualise time in non-linear ways was their own failing, not Nolan’s. I find that refreshing. It’s nice to see a sci-fi film that’s actually made for smart-cookie sci-fi fans and doesn’t give a hoot if it alienate thickos.
The Award for Most Inexplicably Compelling Web Comic… … Goes to Questionable Content. I originally started reading Questionable Content because I’d heard that the female lead and love interest was a plus size lassie and that shit’s my jam. However, the art style makes everyone look like a skinny indie-type, regardless of their actual, in-universe size, so it doesn’t do much to titillate my Fat Admiring Titillation Centres. And yet, I’m over five hundred ‘episodes’ in and still reading. The thing is, I couldn’t tell you why for the life of me. Maybe it’s the hope that the art style will evolve to the point where the people look like actual human beings with different body types (but then, why would I care unless I was invested for some other reason). Maybe it’s the fact that when I get one of the many, many obscure band or pop culture references, I feel a little buzz of kinship with the writer. Maybe it’s the fact that it takes place in a universe where robots and superheroes are things that regularly happen, yet most of the strips are just normal people chatting shit in a coffee shop and the slice-of-life narrative/sci-fi setting appeals to my sense of juxtaposition. I don’t know, but I find it really compelling to the extent that I’ve pissed away entire days reading it. I have a horrible feeling that it’s a short step from this to really angsty hentai. If I start singing the praises of that, somebody please shoot me in the crotch.
The ‘Forest Gump Debating Peter Andre’ Award For Most Sustained or Elongated Instance of Stupidity… … Goes to Donald Trump. I was tempted just to award this gong to his entire presidency, but that wasn’t just stupid: it was also venal, corrupt, horrifying and punctuated by terrible moments of low cunning. So, instead, this award goes to his ‘soup’ rant. For those of you who missed it, the former President of the United States spent a really, really long time (in the run-up to the election) wittering on about protestors throwing cans of soup at police. What was dumb and weird about it was that he appeared to be extolling the virtues of soup as a siege weapon, going into really specific detail about how it was better than a brick because it could be thrown with more force, finishing with the utterance that protestors would just argue that “this is just soup for my family” if they were caught with the cans… which is phrased wrong in such a subtle and inhuman way it’s hard to imagine that anyone actually ever said it, at least in those words. I have no idea if protestors in America were throwing soup cans at police (which would be entirely justified considering how many innocent people American police have murdered in cold blood quite recently) or if this was a fantasy dreamed up by the former president in the cloudcuckooland that is his diseased little brain. Either way, the connected rant was balls deep in dumb.
The Most Disturbing Unintentional Impression of Vincent Price Award… … Goes to the narrator from One Step Beyond, a Twilight Zone-esque anthology of weirdness that purports to be based on true events and has to be seen to be believed. The stories are oft-disturbing instances of spooky-inflected human drama and can occasionally be quite disconcerting… until they’re book-ended by a dude who sounds like Vincent Price reading a children’s book in a really earnest voice. It’s weird and no, it didn’t hit our screens in Space Year 2020, it dates back to Ye Olden Times of the 1950s or 60s, when men were men, women were women and technincolour was a distant dream that could get you strung up for witchcraft. Nonetheless, I only encountered it this year, so it’s getting its prize. I warned you I was going to pull this shit, but you foolish fools didn’t listen.
The ‘It’s Not Gay If I Don’t Clench’ Award for Cognitive Dissonance… … Goes to Amazon Prime, the content-making branch of evil, tax-dodging, anti-monopoly-law-breaking megalith Amazon. You see, while Big Daddy Amazon is off being incredibly sinister and worrying, like a shifty vampire hanging off the economy’s throat, the creative people at Amazon Prime are busy making or acquiring some of the flat-out best TV ever committed to a streaming-service, from the extra-weird slice of fun-pie that is The Tick, to the entertainingly horrifying cultural dissection of The Boys to the utterly unique Carnival Row, to the superbly adapted American Gods. It’s a bit like discovering that Geoffrey Dahlmer single-handedly created a body of artistic work to rival Vincent Van Gogh’s when he wasn’t pouring acid onto the brains of emotionally vulnerable young adults. It gives me a headache.
The Clint Eastwood Award for Most Effective Older Gentlemen… … Goes to Joe Biden, for unseating dipshit in chief Donald Trump with the casual badassery of a Wild West gunslinger shooting a baddy (probably played by Leonardo Di Caprio) in the balls. I mean, he’s not the best Prez America could ask for but a) as a Brit I don’t have to care and b) anyone who ousts Trump gets mad props from me.
The ‘It’s a Pity Everything Else is Shit Now’ Award for Best New Ongoing Series… … Goes to my own Youtube series, Victor The Magician, in which I claim to be a reality-hopping, interdimensional wizard on an endless quest to… perform magic, basically. I’ll admit that the quality is super-variable (Youtube algorithms and their constant demand for fresh content be a harsh mistress, etc., etc.). However, when I’m good, I’m really good. If you’re looking for a punch-line other than the fact that this whole bit is a self-promoting plug, it’s this: my Youtube series really was the best thing to come out this year. Not because I’m great or anything, just by default. A promising year really did turn into a cultural wasteland the moment COVIDius Rex reared its scaly head.
The Zombie Ian Curtis Award for Most Crushing Disappointment… … Goes to Rick and Morty Series 4. As I think I’ve said before, it was still good, but it just didn’t reach the dizzy heights of nihilistic lunacy achieved in series 1-3. I think the problem is that the audience is meant to learn something from Rick’s poor choices, even if he doesn’t, because the creators saw the amazing success of Bojack Horseman and decided they wanted a slice of that sweet, tangy deconstructionist pie. It worked up to a point in the climax of Series 3, but having made their point, the showrunners probably should have moved onto a different point. They forgot that the appeal of Rick Sanchez is his combination of ‘entertaining car-crash of a human being’ and ‘unstoppable superbeing’. Push him through an arc and you risk breaking the thing that makes him and the show so endlessly watchable. Rick, unlike Bojack, just wasn’t built for heavy introspection. Also, the team hired on new writers who were less than familiar with the characters, setting and subtext, and that’s always an invitation to disaster.
The Special Sir Mixalot Award for Posteriority… ...Goes to… my girlfriend and glamorous assistant, Mystic Miss Terri, who’s arse is gorgeous and majestic.
The ‘Are They STILL Making That?’ Award for a Show You Forgot Existed And is Now Back… … Goes to Supernatural, which never technically went away and whose final series is apparently being broadcast on one of the 4 channels (though who knows which one, any more), It’s kind of nice to realise it’s still out there and be reminded that there are still people who care deeply about what happens to it. It’s like when you remember ‘oh yeah, [insert cute animal here] actually exists and isn’t just an internet meme. That’s nice’. Also, it’s good to see Jared Padelacki working steadily. It can’t be easy to find acting gigs when most producers just want to shoot you and mount your antlers over a fireplace.
The Irritating Magician Award for Something That Just Won’t Fuck Off… ...Goes to this blog entry, which is three pages long in Word. Good grief. Bye y’all! See you next year, assuming that the last few days of 2020 don’t culminate in a civilisation-destroying attack by giant space-ants. If that seems worryingly specific, let’s just say that- as Leonard Cohen would say “I’ve seen the future and, brother, it is murder”… by giant space-ants.
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shabba-zams · 4 years ago
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INSPIRED BY ELAINE
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I think it's time, we confronted the situation in front of us
And I think it's time we talk it out and forget all the fuss
And it is not me.. There just isn't an us no more like Bible class
Our time is up, like sand falling thru an hour glass, in an hour class
You always say you have no clue but surely eNCA, know more
You mad at me, the silent treatment and you call it normal
You're bad for me, I was ur biggest fan - u such a baddie
You're bad to me, I'm your only fan, love it when u call me daddy
I'm sad for you, you hid your "Onlyfans" from me, you dirty
I'm thirsty, right now you looking all sexy, girly, flirty, all nerdy
You're needy, greedy, full of pity, always eating, mouth fully meaty, too demanding, nasty lazy, bitch u crazy
I'm giving, forgiving, plain loving, still thirsty but dripping in sauce
You're tripping, I flick my wrist then flick the bean (BDSM)
You're dribbing, my dick be crippling
You be stroking my penis, asking what my pin is
Bust a nut, wipe a continent from your chest
Yeah, that's what pain is
And then I knew you're not the One
Coz you were never the only one
I don't give out many chances, you get just the one
Party on campus, ur too antisocial, never my plus one
Plus size model, thick mama, BBW, voloptuous, ur curvatious
Luv ur onion booty, it makes me cry & it's more than 1 layer
Yeah im full of games, bstill no player
Dinner for 2, right b4 I eat u up, say my prayer
Bad dream, devils hour, I wake, u staring like, Heya! That's creepy
Okay lemme be real with u, it ain't your fault
I just couldn't be real around you, I couldn't be myself
I was losing myself tryinna please U
My face was your chair, no please U.. I can't breathe
I need air, u don't care, I pull ur hair, that's not fair
Face clean, no make up, take teddy bear, then make up sex
We're role playing, you're now Claire, Blair or Nonhle
Shared my, heart and love with u
I ain't mad at u, we don't c I2I
U & I was both invested, we tested
All that loud in the air, sippin wine we wasted
Danced all night then rested
My place or yours instead
Always kept you interested, kept me well fed
It's lessons learned not time wasted
Why you making me choose between you & the booze
I know you hate how I'm hung like a moose
Getting your creative juices flowing, like your muse
Misuse my tongue, amuse ur lower lips, abuse your sleep
Team nocturnal, feeling your intestine with my external
Loving you all night and day, feels eternal
I'm sorry but I'm not ready for anal
But that pussy imma turn into a canal
You dislike my love/hate relationship with social media
I bring a home cooked meal but all you do is take away
I mean it's healthier and bonus it makes financial sense
Lemme keep my 2 cents, common sense ain't common
That's nonsense, why you so tense? We don't make sense
I still sense your anger from when I tried to fvck ur friend
Then my close friend who's my best friends girlfriend
Yeah, I fvcked up, I own up, let's roll up
That's not tea in my cup, let's go up
Talk at the roof top, "nigga just grow up"
You're yelling, screaming, bout to blow up
I'm cocky, saying shit like I was your glow up
"Hol'up, nigga please just shut the fvck up
You always say you coming but never show up"
"You're right, I'm sorry I left you sick to go drink
I felt like I was drowning until my sorrows' lungs were filled with H2O
Made it up 2 u tho, made you cum 6 times..no? 7 I think, who's counting
You a liability, I'm an asset... I mean it's just accounting
You lack reliability, for your mistakes ur never accounting
You hate my ability to feel everything and still be wholesome
Coz you just wanna feel good all the time
But my feelings be fluctuating, I just won't be faking
Stop tolerating the neglect Im getting
Get liquid with it
Happiness is the yin and sadness is the yang
Sometimes I drink gin, only when I'm with my gang
There's a burn hole on my jean, maybe a ciggie, or dank
But now I get bank, I want no skank that smoke skunk
Has that sank? Yeah I know, I'm a think tank, tick
Talk all you want, but keep it short like tik-tok
Tic toc, times up, take tsek.. tic tac 4 your bad breath
2 these beats I bring death, yeah I take life, no bring back
Break dance & break back, ahead of you like 3 laps
Brick dance coz my money grows while I nap nap
Hahaha gimme 3 claps coz my puns still slap
I'm real black, I'm bout to snap at all this crap
These niggaz decided to call rap
Lame rappers, listen up, sit down and don't talk back
Don't turn no other cheek, clap back or get ur wolf pack
Crack back, don't fight niggaz that look lyk they fap-fap
Or smoke crack crack, with eyes doing a criss cross
Came across many rappers that steal rap lines or rap names like Rick Ross to get their point across
Gamble with your life & hit crap
Lost your wife on my Whatsapp, there's that!
She pole dance in my DM's, she excels
She got a flat tummy till she exhales, but sex sells
She call me Haploid, like sex cells
She's cold like may weather, F Lloyd!
I'm a Record breaker, planet shaker, Constant risk taker
Ask the chain breaker how I stay shining 
He'll answer, I stay grinding, on God!
I'm not a smile faker, just a soul snatcher in the fast lane
Wubba lubba dub dub, Rick and Morty
Life and death drive, ask Freud or Boyd
Leading a wild life like Varty, bitter sweet like chutney
I'm bored, so we party in my bed, my bad, honey!
Ass-ass-ass, she clap ass 3 times before 4(play)
Nurse-nurse-nurse, I slap ass tats when we role playin
Looking all photogenic, oops a nip slip on tape
Phat ass on my iOS, like real life
Ass flat on android, that's what they look like
No steroids, my dick big don't nje just
She look at my shoe size and run away at 1st chance
I'm an asteroid not space dust, she came fast
Then I came too, at last, she said out loud
I'm heartless at first glance, til I made her soul dance
Think fast, mouth 2 mouth ur low lips, I'm a medic
Nudes is explicit, is you a nymph or manic?
Nymphomaniac please don't panic
Your style so sick, bout to start a pandemic
We'll playback with your jeans off, relay... ground rules
No replay or pause only gonna press play once
No safewords, whatever works works, word!
Girl you a baddie, and a Pedi, go spoil yourself
Get a mani &a pedi
Dick in mouth, still out spoken, can't put words in mouth
U said I'm a keeper
Silver spoon in her mouth but I still feed her
Feel her up then fill her up, I eat her up
I feed her jollof right before I pipe her, I like her
Never gonna wife her, don't really love her
She's rude like something' crawled up her...
Foul mouth like up yours!
I know around your feelings I should tip toe
It's unfortunate coz I don't tip Joe's (askies jo)
Like excuse me waiter where should I dip those fries, french
Kiss hoes toes, mxwa, Zulu man with a foot fetish, tip toe
Articulate the truth, use tactics lyk rotten tomatoes on bad movies
I'm not perfect, I pose a threat even if a picture's moving
I'm booming, you're blooming... I'm nice nice, ur gloomy
I'm grooming u, like your cult leader
Avid reader, your soul feeder, I'm no people pleaser
I need a lady thats rooted in love and still rooting for me
Unconditional love lyk the kind that died on the cross 4 me
Is that you? No? Then miss me Miss, think I'm gonn miss ya!
Coz now it's
A goodbye to you, I'm thru witchu, it's true I confess
Wish you nothing but the best
Somebody to love you, put you first for the rest of
All the days to come, to you I
Remain a good friend, no benefits just perks
Straight facts, ex lover with strange quirks... You
Are
The
One... Who will be the godmother to my heir
So if I die, you'll raise HIM or raise HER
Erase Her memory of me if it's too painful to hold on to
Make sure he's playful, careful  and joyful too
U'll be a good mom, ur delightful unlyk most step mothers
You're a good teacher that's patient but always on time
You'll know what to do if ever my daughter runs late
Scratch that, you'll be a great mother, that's fate
Becoz you're a leader, not deceitful like some bad fathers
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myevilmouse · 5 years ago
Note
For the Star Wars Ask: 4,15, 16!
Apologies for the uber late reply to your asks, but I wrote the answers and then hit backspace and my tumblr browser KILLED my reply and well, I almost lost the will to go on. 😊 So here is Take Two.
4. which character is the most misunderstood?
The most misunderstood character…I am gonna say Luke Skywalker. 
Hear me out—we are all in our Luke stan bubbles here and we know he’s the most brilliant character to ever be dreamt up, plus he’s gorgeous, but I digress.
The sad truth is while in 1977 he was the undisputed hero and popular dude from the films, when Empire and Jedi came out (when he was really evolving and struggling, etc.), Luke took a backseat to Han and Boba Fett and Darth, etc. and the ensuing years have not been kind to him in pop culture.   But merchandising didn’t feature him as much, even Leia, I remember when Jedi came out, it was HARD to find Luke stuff.  But Leia, Han, Boba, Jabba, Darth, even Chewie, seemed ubiquitous. WHY?!  IT’S HIS STORY!
I think the average casual SW fan tends to think of Luke as whiny or boring or uninteresting and are more drawn to the rogue that is Han or the bad guys.  (Not even talking about ST fans who mostly think of Luke/Jake as a grandpa.)  They mock the whole kissing his sister thing, they quote the power converters line, they DON’T UNDERSTAND his amazing.
So there is a movie, As Good As It Gets, and there is a great scene, the gist of which is Jack Nicholson’s character tells Helen Hunt’s waitress character that all the people in her restaurant, they go about their day not realizing that the most amazing woman in the world waited on their table.  But he gets that, he knows that about her, he SEES it, and that makes him feel good about himself, makes him happy that he understands her awesomeness. And that is sort of how I feel about Luke.  Disney may have betrayed his character, but I never will.  And that makes me feel good about me!
16. what’s the saddest moment in star wars?
For the saddest moment in Star Wars, that is hard.  I discussed this with my mom, a big SW fan, last night.  She picks Vader’s daddy reveal, but while I think that is the most dramatic/traumatic moment, I think for saddest moment I would probably choose Vader’s death, when Luke is all “I’ve got to save you” and his hand, his prosthetic hand that Vader chopped off, is on his dad’s shoulder…
*reaches for tissue*
Luke never knew his daddy, then he found out his daddy is evil and mean, and then he gets back the daddy he always wanted and loses him again.  It’s just…so sad.  So so sad. And I really give props to those actors in that scene because it makes me sad every time I watch it.
And Mark Hamill probably never looked as good in his life as he did in this scene and the one immediately after (in the Lambda shuttle) and I DON’T KNOW WHY because he just had this horrible trauma and loss but he looks incredible. So that’s an added bonus to the saddest scene in Star Wars.  Honestly ridiculously hot.  Excuse me while I go swoon a moment.
There are a lot of sad moments in Star Wars, the OT.  But that is the scene where I think Luke MOST needs some hot chocolate, a hug, and maybe some sexual healing.  I can assist, Luke, I can assist.
OK and your substitute ask since I already answered #15 was #6…
6. which canon event do you most disagree with/dislike?
At the risk of beating a dead tauntaun, I will just say the Sequel Trilogy as a whole (yes I’m including the new one I haven’t seen yet because I fear I know where they are going and *cringe*) for how it robs the victory of the OT without explaining how our heroes turned into such failures, and in particular the betrayal of Luke’s character.  I blame the role of money in the making of the films, something that is blatantly obvious if you watch the Blu-Ray documentary The Director and the Jedi, but for the purposes of this ask, lemme just summarize from a previous rant or else we’d be here all day:
1)  The most optimistic guys in the galaxy who believed he could redeem the most evil guy in the galaxy or die trying would not give up on/try to kill a child riddled with Darkness (never mind that it’s his own nephew).  The End.  Would. Not.
One of the scenes that pisses me off so much is when Luke force-appears to Leia at the end of TLJ and says basically "your son is gone" and she's like "i know" and i'm like WHERE ARE LUKE AND LEIA AND WHO ARE YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE. Anyway, I digress....2) Luke is all about helping people who need him, rushing to save them even when totally unprepared/warned against it, etc. This idea that having failed his Jedi students that Luke would decide to retreat, abandon his family, his friends, his Rebellion, and become a hermit is counter to everything we know about him. If he decides the Jedi are evil, just STOP BEING A FUCKIN JEDI.  It’s not like a disease you can’t get rid of, just stop using the Force etc.
3) Death. I know some people think this ties in to the whole "balance in the force" thing. This concept is a whole other issue, because it implies there is no good and evil, as far as the Light and Dark, they have to both exist in equal strength/parts and the good becoming powerful will give rise to the evil becoming equally powerful, which makes EVERYTHING sort of pointless. (Like, why even try to save the galaxy if it's impossible for good to triumph? you will win for a couple years and then the baddies come back--if that is the true nature of the Force, the idea of morality just goes out the window, but that's a whole other tangent).
So why does Luke die? He's not sick, he's not old, the idea that using the Force in the way he has took so much out of him that he's weakened to the point of death is counter to canon (size matters not etc), and the galaxy still needs him. He just proved that. Yet we are expected to believe in a sense that Luke thinks the galaxy would be better off with him as a mythic, martyred hero rather than a flesh and blood leader. This also makes no sense to me.
Luke Skywalker rises to the occasion in the OT, even when it's hard, he has a strong sense of responsibility and personal morality. Jake…Jake is different.
 I think a lot of work would be required to turn OT Luke into TLJ Luke...It's not impossible, nothing is, with smart writing and character development, but that's not what we were given. Too many off-notes for me to find it remotely believable, and there are so many little snarky additions to his character that also are so weird that I just can't...
The new trilogy just sort of robs the victory/finale of the OT without enough explanation for why it was a failure....in a perfect world they would have just turned The Thrawn Trilogy into films. I thought the EU gave us a rich explanation and continuation of that world in a way that was far truer to the characters. I wouldn't even have minded them recasting our heroes, cause time/age. looks for time machine
 Thank you for getting me all worked up.  *hugs*
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s-ultry · 6 years ago
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i’m speaking to your boss - joe mazzello imagine
[ CEO!Joe ]
A/N: heyo my fellow bad bitchesss, so yeah here’s one i’ve been desperate on writing and completing. + its my bday so like why not bless yall with this fucking dADDY. hope you guys enjoy! REQUESTS ARE OPEN!
WARNINGS: JUST YOU BEING A TOTAL BADDIE! + teasing lol why not.
SUMMARY: Your boss has been nonstop bothering you about your work methods, and your late (but in reality early) arrivals. Joe noticed your stress and decided to talk to your boss, your boss not knowing you’re actually married. ;)
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It was yet another morning of torture, you had just arrived to your desk when you heard your boss scream your name from her office. Her voice was loud, as your desk was a hallway away from her luxurious office. 
You scrambled to her office with her morning ginger and espresso shots, which was a very weird mixture right at the break of day. Being an assistant wasn’t very easy, especially Mrs. Cordelia. Your dream was to be a fashion magazine art director, for your name to be known for your hard work and creativity.
But, you were stuck with an assistant job.
“Y/N?!?! Where have you been! I have been waiting all day!” The blond haired lady frantically screamed at you as she was typing on her smartphone. 
“Mrs. Cordelia I-,” you tried to explain, but she cut you off. “No, Y/N. Save it! I am too nice to you by letting you come in at 10! Be here tomorrow at 9:30! I have a visitor and I want to make the best impression, do you understand?”
“Yes, Mrs. Cordelia.”
“And buy some new work clothes, the black button up makes you look fatter, which is impossible cause the colour black makes you skinnier,” she sternly judged glancing at your normal work outfit.
“I’ll get right on it, madam.” You internally huffed closing her office door behind you. 
After what felt like a light year, you were finally done with work and decided to head to the mall to get some new clothes for Mrs. Cruella De Vil. You bought new shirts, which were white and made of silk with a matching black pencil skirt.
You drove to your shared house with your husband, Joe. After the success with his recent movies with his 3 best friends, Joe built an empire and is now the CEO of a fashion company. 
Of course, he offered you a job. But, you wanted to earn your spot rather than get it out of pity. You finally drove up to your driveway and thanked the universe for getting away from the epitome of the devil, you couldn’t wait to change out of your clothes and cuddle with Joe.
Your shared home wasn’t too big, but it was the perfect size. You had a small library connected to the office, an underground gym, and two floors. It was perfect for a family, which you were hoping to consider soon.
You removed and placed your heels by Joe’s loafers, running up the stairs you rushed to your room and kept the bags on your grey couch that was in front of your king sized bed. 
You promptly entered your walk in closet and changed into an oversized knit sweater with matching knee high socks. Those pants were unbearable, so you decided to let your legs breathe without wearing anything.
You headed to Joe’s office where you can hear his fingers tapping quickly on the designated letters, you lightly knocked letting yourself in. He looked up and saw the tired look on your face, without any words, he ushered you to sit with him. Well, on him.
“What’s wrong, my love,” your husband weakly smiled combing his fingers through your hair. Joe then pulled you closer to him, with your legs draping across his thighs. 
“Mrs. Cordelia,” you huffed as you snuggled into his neck. His scent intoxicating you, you whined as his hands smothered your body with love and affection.
“It’s okay, kitten. She’ll be better,” he whispered into your ear as his hand trailed closer and closer to your inner thigh. Your whimpered as his hand past by his most prized possession, making its way to your neck. 
Joe gently grasped your throat forcing your gaze to meet his, you knew that he was going to say something that’ll make you orgasm on the spot. The way his eyes were hooded with lust and dominance, he was a CEO after all.
“No one overworks you, sugar. Only I do,” he growled. Your breathing got heavy, you loved it when he teased. But, you were an absolute mess above and under him. 
He then gently grabbed you closer, placing his plump lips against yours. Yes, it’s year 2 of your marriage, but damn you always had explosives in your stomach when he placed his lips against yours.
“Go sleep, my love. You’ll be needing your energy for another day with her,” Joe sincerely announced carrying you to your shared room. 
“It’s only 10!” You squealed as he tickled your sides when you were gently put onto your bed. The brunette then tucked you in lovingly, placing a kiss onto your forehead.
“Goodnight, babygirl,” his words ran down his lips with warmth, making your heart flutter as he turned off the lights. Your sleepiness then made its attack as your eyes closed quickly making you fall into a dreamless slumber.
It’s the next morning, and you wake up groaning into your pillow. It was 7, and Mrs. Cordelia demanded you to bring coffee for her and her visitor, apparently they booked for an early meeting.
Glancing to your side, you realised that your lover was not snoring lightly like he always does. But, a note was there instead.
Had to go to an early meeting, see you when I get home. I love you.
- Joe
You read the words a loud, you smiled in content because he knew how much you worried about his departures. Especially when he got to work from home, which was most of the time. 
You then walked into your bathroom getting ready for yet another gruesome day, basically everyday. You decided to elegantly curl your hair, seeing that you have the time in the world. 
You mainly focused on your eyes with makeup, just winged eyeliner and a light brown eyeshadow shade. With your face, you always went for a glowy look, but not too obvious. 
You were done with getting ready, and now it was time to get changed. You were going to go for the set that you recently purchased, but thought about a black turtleneck with the black pencil skirt paired with red heels. A chic yet not too vibrant look.
You ran downstairs when you came to the realisation that it was 5 minutes to 9, and the coffee shop was far from the office. You saw that your husband made a to go bag, and you couldn’t be more blessed with this man. 
You hurdled to your car, racing out you made your way to the coffee shop to get your boss and her guest two macchiatos. You speeded your way through the cars and into the parking garage, you ran to the elevator and prayed that you weren’t even a minute late.
9:29 AM
You basically fell over your desk with the coffee cups in both of your hands, you also got scones because you knew she’d scream at you if you didn’t get her guest “something to eat”.
Your alarm buzzed as the time struck 9:30 AM, you sighed in relief as you made your way through the cold hall towards a cold blooded snake. 
You faintly knocked on the door, hearing her reply for you to enter, you made your way to her large meeting table and placed the order down. Looking down, you didn’t realise the visitor until he coughed loudly.
You glimpsed at the man with the black suit, his white dress shirt unbuttoned to buttons down revealing skin. His brown hair fluffly tossed around. his cufflinks shining as the sun hit it, and his extremely large hands. 
Hands that you were oh so familiar with. There he sat, your husband in all his glory as he glanced back at you. Your cheeks were greeted with a deep red tint as you stood by Mrs. Cordelia.
“Oh, Mr. Mazzello, I forgot to introduce you to my assistant,” the blond announced staring daggers into you to introduce yourself.
“Hi, Mr. Mazzello. I’m Ms. Y/F/N,” you smirked shaking his hand. Joe knew the exact game you were playing, using your maiden name instead of your shared one. And, you definitely knew you were going to get punished for this, but who cares, right?
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Y/F/N,” the CEO weakly smiled at you. “Oh, you’re so kind. Joe,” your boss laughed touching your husband’s arm, stroking it gently.
This is when you were furious, no one could touch your husband. Well, Ben can cause they’re stuck together like glue, but other than him. No one. 
Your heart escalated, Joe knew exactly what you were going to do, and he didn’t mind watching a show. 
“Y/N, get me next week’s issue so I show Mr. Mazzello a sneak peak,” she fakely smiled at you demanding you to get her the files. The desk wasn’t that far from the meeting table, so you could hear their conversation.
“Mrs. Cordelia, I’m flattered. But, I have a wife,” your husband spoke sophisticatedly. 
“I don’t see your wife around,” Mrs. Cordelia seductively teased. This is when you sharply turned, you growled as you saw your boss’ hand riding up Joe’s thigh. 
You then strutted to the meeting table, throwing the files onto the table you slapped her hand off of your property.  
“How rude, Y/N! Hitting your own boss in front of her guest! Would you want me to fire you,” she shouted grasping her hand as though she was hurt.
“Why are you touching him, he has a wife!”
“Why do you care so much, huh? She’s not around! I bet she’ll love talking to me about her creative, sexy, and smart husband,” Mrs. Cordelia smirked standing up to reach your height.
“I don’t think she will,” you hissed crossing your arms so you wouldn’t throw a punch at her jaw.
“And why is that?” Your boss cackled as she stepped closer to you.
“Because,” you smirked evilly as you pushed her hair back gently. Your lips made their way up to her ear, the silence spoke louder than the both of you.
“You’re talking to the wife,” you whispered with venom laced around your words, and a smirk plastered Joe’s lips as he saw you dominate someone else who’s twice your size.
“Sit down, Cordelia,” you spat making her sit down. She wasn’t scared at all, which made your blood boil even more.
“Listen up, bitch. I get that my husband is creative, sexy, and smart. But, the last time I checked, I have the rock on my finger. You’re too fucking blind to notice my last name is Mazzello, and not Y/F/N,” you then moved to tower her fragile little body that you broke with just your eyes.
“Plus, you were touching MY property. Oh! I totally forgot! You have a husband right? What if I told you that you made a move on his ally, ruining his company and making ours strive higher.”
“Y/N, I can fire you. Well, you’re already fired for threatening your boss,” she smugly replied crossing her legs.
“That’s a threat to you? I feel sorry for your enemies, that’s a threat? Let me tell you a threat. Lay a finger on my man again, and trust me the only thing that’ll be going down that throat of yours is your last paycheck,” you growled as you felt a hand wrap around your waist.
“And, Cordelia. I talked with your bosses, as of now, I bought the whole company. Don’t you dare insult my wife, ever, you understand,” his voice now deep and dominant.
You couldn’t help but squeeze your legs together, your arousal to his voice created a knot in your whole body.
“Leave my office, and don’t think about your stuff. We’ll have someone send it for you, with your paycheck wrapped around a tiny dildo, maybe that’ll make you cum faster,” you barked as Joe’s grip grew tighter onto your waist.
“Behave, little girl,” your husband huskily growled in your ear as your former boss left the room in tears. She deserved it, after years of torture, you finally got your revenge. 
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Then, I’ll have you over my lap with your perky ass up in the air for me. You’ll get spanked so hard that you won’t be able to walk into your new office that I just got for you, or wear that tight little skirt that you’re wearing right now,” he placed both of his hands on your waist and slapped your ass lightly.
You whined as you glanced up at him with your innocent eyes, you pecked his lips and fluttered your eyelashes.
“Take me home, and fuck me.”
“What’s the magic word, baby.”
“Please, Joe,” you whimpered as his breath fanned over your clothed neck.
“Your wish is my command, doll. But, you’re getting punished for being a bad girl,” he whispered in your ear as you made your way out of the office.
And that was when you couldn’t wait to go home.
897 notes · View notes