#and my first gifset of this show obviously had to be this boi in the background being wet and fine af

[aenslem]

ONE PIECE (2023–)

[beevean]

Multiple questions for you.

What were your thoughts on the Netflix castlevania show when you first discovered it?

How did you feel about the show when watching through each episode?

When did you realize the show was hopeless and would have zero redeeming qualities?

What are your overall thoughts on Netflix castlevania now?

1) I actually heard about it as it was airing - I vaguely remember posts related to Dracula and Lisa, or gifsets of the "I'm killing my boy" scene before I started playing the games. Needless to say, I heard nothing but good things, posts about how it was a great adaptation. I tried watching the first episode before getting into the games, but I got only confused and bored because of the CHURCH BAD scenes that had little to do with the plot lol. When I asked @spinningbuster98 (the friend who urged me to play the games) if it was worth watching it, his response was more or less "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", before sharing part of his grievances. At the time, I only vaguely understood the issues. After playing SoTN, CV3 and CoD, let's just say that everything became crystal clear.

The actual show turned out to be a much more unpleasant experience than simply "they fucked up the lore and the characters" could have prepared me for.

2) I actually have chronicled my first experience here :) as you can tell, while my criticism was not as well worded as I would phrase it today, it's proof that I only had a tolerable time in S1, and then things progressively got worse. Here's my second rewatch, if you're curious.

3) No doubt, S3 was my breaking point. S1 was mediocre but tolerable, S2 was boring and sluggish, but S3 was just a mean-spirited waste of time with a terrible, immature message and needlessly sadistic torture porn this side of an edgy fanfic. By the end I was so sick to my stomach, I really didn't want to watch S4, and to this day there are some episodes (mostly the ones focused on the Trepha plot) that I simply skipped because I just want it to be done.

4) That it's bad :P it's a bad adaptation, because it was obviously written by someone who only read the wiki and supervised by fans blinded by their own ego, people who didn't get the spirit of the original series and wrote a shallow Berserk ripoff with only the vague aesthetic of Castlevania: just the writing of the characters is appalling in how everyone was reversed for no reason, almost on purpose. And it's a bad story in itself, because it's rife with shocking writing mistakes, such as an over reliance on telling, glacial pacing, condescending hand holding to push you to think in a certain direction, long pretentious speeches to simulate depth, ridiculous amount of swearing (and even bland swearing) that doesn't fit the characters, dropped plot points, rushed plot lines, immense favoritism towards certain characters combined with the humiliation of others, a lack of focus in the last two seasons, and a general... mean mentality, that I can only describe as a combination of snobbish intellectualism, British imperialism, and victim blaming.

Aside from the cool fight scenes and the old-time fans who are so starved for CV content they'd eat dirt, I genuinely will never understand what people like about this show.

[familyromantic]

(Submission)

I'm devastated I can't ramble on forever about my number one incest OTP Klaus/Elijah because there are already a couple of gifsets of them on this blog, but after trying to think of what other ships I have that could fit the criteria, I remembered a pairing I haven't thought about in a while but wish was more popular.

Johnny and D'avin Jaqobis from Killjoys. 

gif source: @anissagraces on Tumblr

To sum up their dynamic - they have a complicated and somewhat rocky history, but their loyalty is unwavering no matter what. They bicker and mess with each other constantly but will go the ends of the galaxy to protect each other.

A quick intro to the show - The three main characters are Dutch, Johnny and D'avin. They work as bounty hunters, known as Killjoys. 

D'avin and John were estranged for 8 years before reuniting at the beginning of the series. They were very close as children, only having each other to rely on growing up in an abusive household. Until D'avin ran away and joined the army when he was 17 and disappeared out of John's life without a word, not to be seen or heard from again until the events of the pilot.

John harbours a lot of anger, resentment and distrust towards D'avin for abandoning him, but still doesn't hesitate to risk his career, his friendship with Dutch and his life to save him when he hears there's a kill warrant out on him. He steals Dutch's ID to take D'avin's warrant without official clearance and sneaks off to prevent him from being killed by another Killjoy. Dutch follows him and together they work to find out who put the kill warrant out on D'avin and get it lifted. Despite them going rogue, mysterious orders from high up clear John and Dutch and D'avin is recruited to their team. 

As the season goes on, the brothers work to slowly repair their relationship and rebuild trust as more is revealed about why D'avin left, why he didn't contact Johnny and what he's been involved in that made someone want him dead. 

On to why I ship them, headcanons etc. Aside from that I'm a simple bitch who'll ship just about any two (or more) pretty boys (and/or girls) especially ones who have fun banter and a slightly crazy level of devotion for each other - if you look at things through a shippy lens, there's a decent amount of fodder there to build off.

Firstly, sexuality is depicted as pretty fluid in the Killjoys verse. Though they're both ostensibly straight, they both have occasional moments that could be read as interest in guys or at least openness to the possibility. Bisexuality seems pretty common and casually accepted in their culture, so it's not too far-fetched to imagine that in the right circumstances either or both of them could develop an interest in a man, or at least be willing to seduce one for a mission if nothing else.

Their dynamic is complicated and layered - they have mutual feelings of admiration and almost hero worship, mixed with an oftentimes juvenile sibling rivalry. They each look up to and idolise the other in different ways. D'av envies that doing the moral thing seems to come naturally to John while he struggles with bad, impulsive choices. Johnny regards D'av as more like a father to him than their actual father.

I don't really have any strong shippy headcanons about them; generally I'm the sort of person that likes my headcanons to be somewhat realistic and plausible, and obviously it would take a fair bit of tweaking from canon to get them to a place of developing romantic feelings for each other that isn't totally OOC.

However, what else is fandom for? It's mentioned that Johnny's first kiss was with their cousin, and neither of them seem to have had many friends or been very close to anyone other than each other while growing up poor on a harsh and small, isolated planet with their abusive, alcoholic father. Perhaps in an AU where they never left Telen, it would be easier to imagine lines getting blurry.

Or perhaps pile some more trauma, loss, isolation (and booze) on them and a codependent, dysfunctional 'turn to each other for comfort because no one else could understand' situation could unfold. (my predicative text wanted unfold to be unfortunately, which is fair lmao) 

Then there's the 'not really canon but the Vibes are Vibing' pseudo-poly thing they have with Dutch. She and John have a platonic soulmate thing where he considers her a sister, albeit with the occasional hint, particularly in a flashback to how they met, that he might harbour some romantic feelings for her deep down. John is not happy at first when Dutch and D'av become romantically interested in each other.

John: Dutch is family too. Meaning, don't plow our sister. D'av: Remind me, was that on the Jaqobis family crest?

He claims he's not jealous, it just feels awkward that "it's like my brother is banging my sister" but it's easy to interpret a bit of jealousy and possessiveness from John towards both of them.

While it never truly goes there in canon, no matter how many times they claim they're not a throuple, they can't shake the reputation, so there's a lot of building blocks for shipping any combination of the three.

gif source: (99+) KILLJOYS 5.04 (2019) – @swallowedabug on Tumblr

The family dynamics only get more complicated in as the show progresses, when an enemy-turned-reluctant-ally, her girlfriend who Dutch was cloned from and D'avin find themselves the surprise parents of a rapidly aging child with enhanced abilities.

source: https://www.tumblr.com/booasaur/176364392675/killjoys-4x02?source=share

In 5x01 when their memories are altered and they believe they are strangers, they very quickly fall into their typical snarky bickering and roughhousing, with the addition of John commenting to Dutch after D'avin bests him in a fight with one stealth hit

John: Okay, yeah. I see what you see in him. That's straight-up sexy.

Granted, he doesn't remember D'av is his brother at this time but it's very funny when contrasted with Dutch, who starts to remember their real lives the moment John kisses her and it feels wrong. Whereas John, for all he calls her his sister, didn't have any problem believing the false memory that she was his wife, and immediately calls his brother 'sexy' and 'handsome' as soon as they meet.

There's another scene in season 5 where Dutch and D'av are trading innuendo-laden banter while trying to escape from zipties, and despite protesting that he doesn't want Dutch to talk about his brother while they're pressed against each other in handcuffs, he also quips "'Johnny' is my safeword." Hmm, D'av, I think most people wouldn't even joke about saying their brother's name during sex, but you do you.

There's probably at least a couple more examples of Totally Normal and Not At All Weird things to say to/about your brother that I'm forgetting since I've only watched the show once at the time it aired.

But now, on to the shippiest moment, the pièce de résistance, the holy grail of brocest ship fanservice, rivalling Supernatural for sheer 'wtf I can't believe the writers went there' energy.

I already low-key shipped them, both on their own and in an OT3 with Dutch, but mostly due to just being a huge slut for multi-shipping. Nothing had really inspired me to give them all that much thought as a ship, until an episode that I can only assume was the work of a dedicated incest shipper breaking into the writer's room and replacing the script with fanfic.

In 4x02 John gets badly injured and to save his life D'av has no choice but to infect him with Green Plasma - an alien parasite that gives people enhanced healing, strength and reflexes, but also erases their emotions and turns them into sociopathic killers called Hullen. 

source: https://www.tumblr.com/librathefangirl/759257136932028416/whumpgifathon-day-19-relationships-what-is?source=share

I was already feeling spoiled by all the D'avin worried sick and tenderly cradling an injured Johnny, and then it turns out the whumpy goodness was only scratching the surface of the ship fodder.

When John wakes up we get this... interesting scene.

 A newly Hullenized Johnny first attacks D'av, throwing him against a wall and choking him, then laughs and thanks him for the 'upgrade of awesome' with a kiss.

https://x.com/Killjoys/status/1023346674134147072

  On the lips.

Sure, closed mouth and like 1 second long, but there's a weird intensity that doesn't exactly give off wholesome familial vibes.

I have so many questions. 

Like, is Johnny still mostly himself and just acting a little manic with relief to be alive, exacerbated by the effect of the Green Plasma? Or is the real him already almost gone and he's simply intentionally acting weird and creepy to unnerve D'avin?

Presumably it is meant to be one of those interpretations and not that he's secretly always wanted to kiss his brother and the Green lowered his inhibitions enough to do it, but hey, the third option's much more fun! ;)

But seriously, even one of the writers (or directors? someone involved with the show anyway) pretty much said in a tweet that (paraphrasing) the kiss wasn't really necessary to the plot but they couldn't resist throwing it in as a jokey shiptease. Unfortunately I cannot for the life of me find the damn thing because twitter's search function is terrible, nor a screenshot anywhere because the fandom is pretty small. 

Oh, and that's not even all. I genuinely completely forgot about this bit (I guess because I still can't believe it actually happened) until I was trying to track down the half-remembered tweet and saw some comments reminding me that they continue the joke to an even more unhinged extreme in a later scene in the same episode.

D'avin says he'll find a way to cure Johnny after they escape the planet, and John smirks and cocks an eyebrow in what can only be described as a lascivious manner and asks "Like you cured Sabine?"

So, important information to know - D'avin is immune to the Green and his system repels it. This ability can be temporarily passed on to others via transfer of bodily fluids, which he inadvertently discovered the previous season while having sex with Hullen spy Sabine. To put it plainly - when he came inside her it made the Green expel itself from her body.

D'avin hastily protests that's not what he meant but Hullenized John continues to taunt him

...and despite his freakout, D'avin concedes he would fuck him to save him from being permanently Hullen if he had to.

And his choice of phrasing?

source: selecting a bagel (tumblr.com)

So. Many. Questions.

(Like were the writers on crack, for a start.)

Why, of all things Hullen Johnny could have done or said to mess with D'av and push his buttons, did he go with a kiss on the lips and sexually charged taunts, all the way up to pretty much straight-up propositioning him?

Now, he does knock him out and kidnap him a moment later, so the conversation did serve as a distraction technique, but again, there were surely less weird ways to distract him.

And D'av's response that he would if he had to - how serious was he being? Now, John's already drugged him at this point, which probably goes a long way towards explaining the flippant way he says it - but it's intriguing to wonder, could he really bring himself to do it if it really was the only possible cure? And how would they deal with the aftermath?

From the extreme fanfic-y end of the scale - where Hullen Johnny is exposing real hidden desires, to the less exciting and presumably intended option - that he's simply making the most shocking and abhorrent suggestion possible for the sadistic amusement of seeing D'av squirm - there's so many fascinating angles to consider and explore.

Headcanon-wise, I think my interpretation lies somewhere in the middle of the scale - that there's some genuine interest/curiosity/desire on John's part in that moment, but it wouldn't normally be there. With the Green rendering John unable to feel an emotional attachment to D'av as his brother and removing his capacity to have a moral objection to incest, all that's left is the objective potential for purely physical attraction and no reason not to express it if it's there. Given that he has commented on D'av's objective attractiveness a few times, that explanation makes sense. And it's hilarious to imagine them having to spend the rest of their lives in the quiet knowledge that he'd totally be down to bang if they weren't brothers and they both know it lol.

I've reminded myself of why I'm sad they're such a small/rare pairing, and already halfway convinced myself to start work on contributing the 9th fic to their pairing tag on Ao3, so I'll end it here. What else could top a canon scene of brothers actually pondering the question of what they'd do in a Fuck or Die scenario (well, a Fuck or Stay an Alien Slime-Controlled Emotionless Killer Forever scenario) and coming down on the side of 'welp, ya gotta do what ya gotta do'.

Actually, I'll chuck in one more gif that does a great job of summing them up - being the most stereotypical 'still have the mentality of 12 year olds when it comes to annoying each other' brothers ever, with an added dash of the occasional bit of slightly weird, almost flirt-adjacent dialogue.

source: dailykilljoys

Thanks for reading my ramble about two of my fave dumb boys, hope you enjoyed!

  Ok, one last thought - I'm going c r a z y trying to figure out what exactly he was even supposed to have meant by the exact word choice of "I'd wreck you." After seeing it again, I'm wondering if he was just saying with conviction that he'd do it without question (and do it thoroughly!) if he couldn't find any other way.

Because my first reaction was to interpret it as him suggesting he wouldn't do it, and was warning him to drop the subject, and he meant 'wreck' in a dumb, macho, bragging way like 'Oh, you think you could handle me but there's no way you could take it, so good thing this is only hypothetical because my dick's so big and/or I'm such a wild animal in the sack, I'd hurt you.'

Or could it have even been a dumb, macho bragging thing in the other direction, like 'I'd fuck you so good it'd blow your mind how much you'd love it and I'd ruin you for sex with anyone else'?

Or was it just the knockout gas making him delirious? A bit of all of the above? 

Who knows.

Who. Knows.

It was totally option three and you can't change my mind 😁

[panelshowsource]

yes on the 28th!! i'm excited because ALISON HAMMOND!!! every day i'm like whyyy do we not have her on more panel shows she is everything!

victoria spoke about it on her episode of taskmaster the podcast :)

all i know is she's been looking fly as ever — like always! but if she's changing things up a lil then good for her 😌

i would like to anon but they didn't rly have that many moments together on the show, like of substance that make a good gifset 😩 i did do these two! do you have another moment in mind?

omg YES LMAO

richard is so hilariously subtly shady, i love when someone makes the most wrong guess ever (usually during tablet games like the rich list and i'm terrible at dating) and richard does a very obvious scoff-chuckle and goes "yeah? [raises eyebrows knowingly] well [stifled laughter] you never know! let's see if that's right [stifled laughter]" like it just cracks me up — because somehow he's not smug at all despite being mr big brains and someone who teases others a lot

one thing i love about hog is how much richard loves hog — like, that's his baby, he loves doing that show, and he is so obviously having the most fun every single week, which makes it even more fun for us imo!

wow great question!

i have a lot of nostalgic love for comedy world cup — i love david tennant, he's so affable and very funny and a lovely host, and i think that format had legs even if it didn't make it in the end. also from around that time i remember liking mad mad world on itv, which was suddenly cancelled mid run? with paddy mcguinness, rhys darby, rufus hound... —

sorry to digress for a second but remember on some recent podcast ep when sam campbell was like "what's rufus hound up to" and i think it was ed gamble who laughed his ass off lmaooo i feel like there's rufus hound tea out there but idk what it is. anyways

— ...i would love to check it out again but i can't find it! i'll work on that 🤔 then, of course, you have been watching hosted by charlie brooker. it would not have been as strong a format if it wasn't for charlie writing the show and clearly having many topics & rants he wanted to go in for, but i loved that series and saw quite a few comedians/personalities, including vcm, josie long, holly walsh, and peter serafinowicz, there for the first time :')

looks like i had a lil trip down memory lane!

i think it's great! i'm not crazy about dylan llewellyn — i am not super into derry girls, and i felt, at times, his acting was lesser than the others' in a distracting way? is that just me? — but it hardly ruined the show or anything. the cast has GREAT chemistry and jon pointing is a standout (though he doesn't pass for his 20s at all lmao), and i love seeing izuka hoyle who i loved in boiling point and is so(!) gorgeous. tv comedy lives and dies on its editing, and big boys really understands its structure and its beats. i'd also say it strikes a rare balance in its absurdity and its sincerity, which is some of my favourite ever kind of film & tv. god, i just love sad boi comedy. or sad anything. i'm a "let's watch this and cry🤩" kind of person no matter my mood LOL

btw did you see victoria coren mitchell also loved big boys?

sure anon i put it on google drive here :)

i'm not going to host this one but you can request it here and someone will definitely have it to share with you asap! sorry for the inconvenience but lmk if you have any questions :)

—————

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[kennyomegasweave]

Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged by @foralleternityidiot! Thank you!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore? Christian/Sean from Nip/Tuck. Letting them go was the first step in me trying to free myself from the demon that is Ryan Murphy and his shows.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? Eric/Jack from Boy Meets World. I shipped them before I even knew what shipping was. You couldn't tell me shit about them and you still can't. They were, are, and always will be in love. You will never change my mind.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple? So I didn't get into fic until WAY late, like 2008. Which is weird cause I was on message boards and in so many LJ comms, but I just didn't read it. Keeping that in mind, it was Phlochte. I'm not proud but I'm not as embarrassed as I should be. If you knew anything about those two back then, you'd get it okay. lol

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over? I don't actually. I still don't seek out fanart, so I'm not surprised I don't remember the first one I saw.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse? I still have anti-delena and anti-stydia tags on old posts on this account sooo...lol. But I was never in the inbox, messages, comments, or posts of people who actually liked those ships! People just came to me to fight when I would post my hate posts on my own account.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently? The previous answer answers that, lol. But I don't have any currently. I've hit the point where if I love a ship that's not happening and/or I hate the main pairing, I tend to just peace out. I only ever had NOTPs cause I wouldn't quit shows, but now I'll drop them. I keep up with my faves through gifsets with no need to actually watch the show.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? WangXian. I finished the show in four days and read all five books in five days. I have been OBSESSED for like a month.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? I will never not have OTPs, lol. Current: CaptainKeen, CharlieBabe, NorthSonic, KhemThongthai, WangXian, Buddie All time favorites: Stelena, Scallison, Matt/Elektra, Amy/Rory, Ian/Mickey, Spashley, TeamWin, PalmNueng, PrapaiSky, Brittana, Pacey/Joey, DeanCas, Graham/Megan, Amy/Lucy Diamond, Webgott

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Of course. I have more noncanon ships than canon since gay ships really just weren't happening back in the day. I also have several ships that got together but broke up, which I think also answers this question. The biggest will always be Shane/Carmen. It's been 18 years since Shane left Carmen at the altar and I'm still mad.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? I'm watching Playboyy and I didn't give a shit about AobPuen and I didn't really care about PromNont but now I'm invested in them both. AobPuen got me in literally one episode. PromNont became intriguing when Prom gave Nont the gun and then it's just built from there.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? I watched and loved Love Syndrome III in 2023 so obviously I have hella ships from the past that would get me cancelled. I regret nothing.

12. What was your favorite crack ship? I honestly think I've only ever had one crack ship and that was ChanBig and it went from laughing online to "I am fully pretending this was actually happening and Chan and Big are fucking in the sky now, thank you, god bless" in record time.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of? This isn't a fair question since a lot of my ships just don't have fic written about them. But I'm currently all up in WangXian fic.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common? I tend to like ships that are ~unhealthy~ ~toxic~ and ~problematic~. No regerts.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship? Just not talking to each other. I don't need them to agree, sometimes even on anything, but they have to talk. I don't care if they yell, fight, punch each other, whatever, as long as they talk. I don't like miscommunication because of that either. Because if you're actually talking, there's not miscommunication.

Tagging the last five people in my notifications: @theflagscene, @loudspeakeer, @beaucadeau, @bunnakit, @deepbutdazzlingdarkness Feel free to do it or not, no pressure! It's all for fun! <3

[badassbiburgerbob]

Okay, I keep seeing Chicago Fire stuff on my dash and I'm becoming increasingly intrigued despite myself... is it like the police procedural genre but for the fire department? or something completely different? That last gifset says it's from 2012 and I've never even heard of it??? I'd assumed it was a new show??? If you're at all inclined, I'd love to hear a rant about What This Show Is because I had no idea it existed until I started seeing stuff reblogged and now my curiosity is piqued

Oh my lord where do I begin?

Tldr: It's a drama about a firefighters. It started I think in 2012, I only started watching it last year but I've gotten all caught up. They're in the middle of season 11 now.

But it's so freaking good. Something is always going wrong (hence drama) and each season usually has one overarching problem and then a few small ones. They do cooperate with the pd sometimes though the first season not as much, as a dirty cop tries to kill one of the lieutenants. But they're usually helpful with the pd.

There's a few character deaths that suck which just sort of rip your heart out. It gives kinda a good insight to what firefighters do in a busy urban area tho. It's fiction obviously but they do work with actual firefighters to get things right and one of them ,Tony Ferris, is an actual firefighter with the Chicago fire department. He's not a main main character, but its still cool.

But it's a drama, so shit happens. Like all the time. And sometimes it absolutely sucks (like what the assholes have done to Cindy this season). At one point the chief gets framed for murder and arrested. Another lieutenant, severide, has had people try to kill him a few times, and had his ass kicked. Herrmann (my personal fave) is such a good guy but sparky as fuck and makes multiple bad decisions. He also has the best wife in the whole world, Cindy (I love them so much). He also sets a couch on fire in front of the company's CEO to get him to increase safety standards of his furniture, and it works!

But then it also touches on important issues, like the increased risk of cancer firefighters face, which promts new protocols of equipment and gear cleaning. Mental illness associated with the stuff they see and do, and the death of colleagues that they have to grieve and move on from. And how people in lower income areas struggle and get into trouble. There's a season where Dawson and Casey try to adopt a little boy and end up giving him back to the father and its breaks my heart. They touch briefly on how hard it is for women to get high up in the department because of politics. Although they don't focus at all really on politics, there is an episode where Herrmann screams at his sone for knealing during the anthem but then Herrmann defends his kid to the principal which is super cool. He's got 5 kids and is a pretty good dad, usually. There is one season or two when Casey, one of the fire lieutenants, becomes an alderman so there's some politics in that. There's also a few episodes on substance abuse, and how it affects the people around you.

One episode they get locked in a jail. Another episode they rescue people froma crashes helicopter stuck on a roof. They open a bar and name it Molly's and have to chase off a mob type guy who tries to burn it down at one point. Herrmann beats the crap out of guy who's Crack habit killed his kid. There's an episode where the paramedics get abducted. But everything turns out fine. And then there's episodes where they get married, there's three or four of those and its precious. They have a bbq where there's a surprise promotion. One paramedic Brett, starts a paramdicine van, that goes around helping g people with medicine and stuff, like a visiting nurse type thing kinda. Severide gets married in Vegas, which turns out ok although ots doesn't last. They also get a firehouse dog named pouch who they give away later, for very touching reasons. And then they get another one, a dalmation named Tuesday. Both of which are precious. Some of them have kids, which never fails to make a smile.

There's just so much. But it's such a good show.

It's about the hardships they face and how they deal with the shit that happens in life. And then the joy of what they do and the relationships they have and make. And how they touch snd change peoples lives.

And they absolutely drag eachother through the mud. Sometimes ruthlessly. It's hilarious and I love them for it. There so much sass. God so much sass. It's a really really good show. There's a lot of kinda dark stuff but it's broken up by some positivity and/or comedy and some poignant moments. It shows really good relationships or how to deal with really bad ones.

They're idiots in different ways but also all very lovely. I love them.

They have a few gay characters, too. Right now it's just the one, and he's not doing so good in the dating department. But he's fantastic.

I'm hoping this was at least somewhat coherent. It's kinda late and I'm a bit tired. But I love this show so very much. Easily one of my favorite shows ever. 1000/10 definitely would recommend to everyone. It's on NBC or their streaming platform: peacock (i don't have that one tbh). They usually have a chicago one (which is med fire and pd, three shows) Wednesday at 7pm EST. It's also on ion (I think?), which for anyone in the US with Verizon is channel 31, every Tuesday from like 12pm to about 2 or 3 am the next day, and usually in order. I think that channel is on season 3 rn.

Please ask if you need/want more details. I tried not to spoil anything. But I will rant in more detail if you'd like! I also have gifs but I didn't want to make this too long

[supemaeve]

your tags on that maeve outing gifset referencing tms i... it's so fucking hilarious to me, as someone who watched tms s2 before i actually saw the boys s2, that the boys covers all the same ground as tms attempts to with that s2 storyline (while patting itself on the back) but sharper and funnier ... and it's also immensely hilarious to me that laura peterson, the supposedly "amazing" lesbian rep looks exactly like the fucking drawing the marketing people did of 'masc' elena in episode 205 like you can't make that shit up

Oh my god lol I hadn't even noticed how that "lesbian ken doll" look they wanted for Elena is so similar to LP's style lol I think her introduction outfit is identical to the one in the drawing lmao

And same, I actually watched S2 of TMS first too and if the boys hadn't been filmed first I would have thought they were parodying that storyline a little bit from the outing to the "two feminine women send a problematic message" to HL and Cory's reasoning to... everything!

And I get why obviously tms had way more buzz, from the show to the actresses and all that but that's what I meant, if lots of people were so !!! about that storyline and how it was semi handled there then you'd think they would have some opinions about this one! Sadly I think I can count with my fingers how many gay women have seen/talked about this show...

[revvethasmythh]

In response to your Fearne/Chetney song post: Consider this ask an opportunity to pick any playlists you have and ramble about them, I absolutely love discovering new music through playlists!

yes EXCELLENT thank you!!

okay to keep myself on task so I don't just ramble for like 5k words, I'm going to treat this a top 10 list and this is going to specifically be for my widobrave playlist because she is my baby and I've been working on her for a long time and you know what? the wb tag deserves a little love. I'm going to try to spotlight different songs than I talked about before, too, for diversity's sake

this is absolutely going to get long, so I'll put the rest under the cut.

1: I And Love And You, The Avett Brothers

oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. What is there to say that the song does not say itself? There are a few ways I think this song could be interpreted depending on how you're reading the lyrics, but the line "that woman she got eyes that shine/like a pair of stolen polished dimes" is so fucking good and so Veth this will always be a top song for me. Also need to shout out the "the dream's the catch/the world's the cage" line in this one, because that has always made me think back to Heart in a Cage--I consider them related in my own personal widobrave lyrical thematic universe. Verdict: The vibes are excellent. The Avett brothers always pull through for me

2. Summertime, MCR

obviously this was going to show up in wb song list for me because I named one of my fics after this song! I've always associated summer with wb anyway, but the additional layer of the summer camp and that being a time they specifically spend together in post-canon makes it even better. "You can run away with me any time you want" also follows through on the "runaway" theme that they've both had on their separate playlists (Runaway by Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Caleb's first playlist and Runaway Pt. 1 (Love Has Limits) by Colony House on the Veth playlist).

3. Who Will I Hold, The Avett Brothers

I am screaming and crying and throwing up every time this song comes on. Listen to their one-on-one talk in episode 121 and then listen to this song. The lyrics are so remarkably accurate, it's a thing to behold. "I'm bracing for loneliness, I know it's coming/Now, who will I hold when you're gone?"

4. Hand Over Heart, Gin Wigmore

Melancholy and loving and again incredibly accurate lyrics from "and promise me, day and night/you'll always be my best friend" to "you got the magic to light up the stars/it's like the world is spinning just for you."

5. Not Alone, Shawn James

Very tender song that resonates a lot with wb, and also so very reminiscent of what Veth told Caleb in the finale with the line "Listen close and hear/I want you to let go of your fear/You can find love/Let go of your strife and get what you want out of your life." Like, I think there's a gifset out there somewhere where she basically just says this to Caleb.

6. I Will Follow Him, Peggy March

Okay so this one IS from the first Nott playlist, but I don't see it talked about very much and tbh if you're listening to it from the pov of having seen the end of the campaign, this one just hits different. Shoutout to the "he'll always be my true love" lyric. Like WHAT. The way that song was on an official CR playlist and no one ever talks about it, I'm--

7. Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise, The Avett Brothers

A third Avett Brothers song, you say?? Why yes, indeed. Their songs just really hit for this ship with me. I consider this song to mostly be a Veth song, revolving a lot around Veth's self-doubt issues, but if we're following Rosie's Lyrical Thematic Universe (RLTU), this lyric, "There was a dream and one day I could see it/Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it" stands out a lot. Like the song progression of Heart in a Cage -> I And Love And You -> Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise is what I'm getting at here. "Oh, the heart beats in its cage" to "The dream's the catch/The world's the cage" to "Like a bird in a cage I broke in a demanded that somebody free it." The caged bird thing is HUGE thematically with me and which I think is really funny because it's literally just ME out here with these hyper specific themes and motifs going on. But I love it, I think it works great for them

8. If U Stayed, ZZ Ward

You come to this song for pure angst and pure angsty only. If you want to feel angsty about the fact that they're non-canon, this is the song for you.

9. December Song, Birdtalker (of Blue Healer fame) and Joy Williams (of Trouble With Wanting fame)

"Friend your heart has been far away from mine/There's no one to blame but that wicked stalwart time/And as the year marches steady to its end/Oh, my heart is longing to be close to yours again"

I've been wanting to write a post-canon holiday themed piece based around this song for AGES. the details aren't perfectly accurate, but the vibes are very much there.

10. Lead to Light, Nico Vega

No song list/playlist of mine is ever complete without at least ONE Nico Vega song. The themes of, well, "I will drop anything for you" ring very true, but my favorite line is the bridge: "Oh my love, you know you are a teacher/But you don't know I can be a teacher, too." I appreciate it on one level as inherently suggestive, but extremely literal in the case of late widobrave with Veth opening up her camp to teach adventurers, especially since she had said she wasn't a good teacher sometime in the early campaign.

Honorable Mentions:

1: So Sorry Mama, Whitney Duncan

The details of this song do not match up with canon, HOWEVER, I am 100% certain Veth (lover of monsters and of bad boys) has had at least one, if not more, fantasies re: Caleb that sound exactly like this. So I'm including it because I am sure that she'd had this vision at least once in a dream

2. If We Were Vampires, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

I'll admit this one is highly specific to me, which is why it's in the honorable mentions section, because I'm pulling a lot of the themes of this song for the post-canon wb piece I'm working on right now. It's also just a very bittersweet, tender song that is so, so good about loving someone for as long as you can and making those days count

A bonus Veth-specific honorable mention:

Whiskey Fever by Dorothy. It's not all that deep of a song rec, but it's pretty accurate and it slaps. This song fucking slaps.

A bonus Caleb-specific honorable mention:

Innocent by Taylor Swift. Never thought I'd choose a T. Swift song for him, but it so eerily accurate to his story. Could double a wb song, but I largely relate it to Caleb due to its subject matter.

if anyone was actually curious, I'll just add the full playlist here for perusal sake because there's A LOT more on there, these are just my personal favorites:

[suuho]

hiii friend i hope you are doing well! i was wondering if i could ask for meta analysis of this (https://www.tumblr.com/suuho/708647383291002880/vincenzo-2021-sending-my-love-from-the-other) edit you made? like what the lyric meant to you in relation to the gifs/vincenzo and han seo, and like those lyrics mean to vincenzo about han seo; if they are about them?

this is silly and you don’t have to answer ofc heh!! i just adoreee that edit and think about it all the time heh the vincenzo community needed it heh. thank u sm!!!

hi!! i'm hanging in there, i hope you're well too!! sorry that this took a few days to answer but i had work, and also i wanted to take my time and answer this properly because that's what an analysis should be. fair warning, i haven't had that much sleep so i hope any of this makes sense, and it's also been a minute since i've made that set. (read more cause very long)

so, the edit in question. funnily enough, i pretty much knew i wanted to make this set in some capacity since that song by fall out boy was released (great song, btw) and it took a little while to formulate those thoughts into something coherent, and then to actually sit down and make that gifset. most of the stuff i make i have a vague idea of what it's supposed to look like, but this one surprised me with the overlays and the blending; i didn't expect it to look like that in the end, but i love the colors and i love it for what it is. vinzenco is obviously coded in blue and hanseo in orange/yellow, and i purposely did that. i think, hanseo's death was such an impactful moment in the show, even more than the death of vincenzo's mother, because up until then, we had watched hanseo go through heavy, positive character development, and as a viewer, that makes you root for him. actually, we have been made to root for him way earlier in the show, when we find out hanseo is a victim of abuse by his own older brother (who turns out to not be a goofy paralegal, so in that sense, they have turned the tables narratively on what jang brother to sympathize with), and is willing to change.

i think a lot of hanseo's conflict and character boils down the fact that his abuser is his own brother, someone he is conditioned to love by societal pressures and norms, and that he knows he should love in a familial way, and that he finds himself clinging to because it is all he has left of his family. he has nowhere else to go, no way out, until he meets vincenzo. it is hard to escape an abuser, and the fact that hanseo manages to do so by his own will, and with vincenzo's help, only to in the end die by the hands of his brother anyways? god, that is so tragic. that is why his death hurts so much more than the others in the show. anyways, i am digressing somewhat.

but! the edit in question. the first gif is pretty obvious in relation to the second: i wanted to show a moment in hanseo's life in which he was truly happy, a moment he spent with vincenzo. has vincenzo ever allowed himself an affection like that towards anyone? to hanseo, of course, vincenzo fills a role that has been misappropriated his entire life: the part of hyung, a big brother role that hanseok never managed to remotely tend to in the way he should have. hanseo does not have any hyungs in his life, he doesn't have someone he can trust like that, that he can love like that (i won't deny that i am a hanseo/vincenzo enthusiast because i do love them together, and i do not think of them as ~brothers in that sense, but as a mere narrative tool, that is the position vincenzo fills for hanseo in his life and in the show).

i wish we would have seen more of their quiet moments together, because i think they both gave each other something they had been missing until then.

the middle gif, of course. god, when will that scene not hurt like hell. that is more in relation to the caption and the gif after. in vincenzo's life and in the mafia, there is only way to avenge, and that is an eye for an eye. blood for blood. but the fact that vincenzo chose the cruelest punishment for hanseok specifically? that is purely motivated by the loss of hanseo. what would you trade the pain for? vincenzo chose a knife. and what did hanseo trade the pain for? a glimpse of happiness. if you are dead by the end of the story, you are dead at the beginning of it. that's how it works.

if you look at the song in general, i just love how it speaks to the both of them.

especially the pre-chorus but more so this entire first part of the song is so hanseo for me. the city always hangs a little bit lonely on me, loose / like a kid playing pretend in his father's suit. think about the starched-white shirts and high collars he wears, partly to hide the bruising of the abuse, partly like an armor, and how he lets go of it when he is around vincenzo. hanseo is quite literally playing pretend in his own life; he is controlled by his brother who continuously drills into him that he won't amount to anything, that he is stupid, that he is worthless. but hanseo is neither stupid nor worthless; he is smart, can think on his feet, is mechanically gifted. he is funny. he laughs the way someone laughs who's surprised by his own, actual laugh because he hasn't heard it in so long. his real laugh, not some approximation of it.

model house life meltdown still a modern dream letdown, it kills me / you know i'm dying out here / what would you trade the pain for? if you are dead at the end of the story, you are dead at the beginning of it. i think, hanseo is aware that he is slowly dying as a victim of his circumstances, figuratively and literally. which is what makes him reckless enough to even seek out vincenzo. a lot of hanseo's life is lived with the desperation of a dead man walking.

that bridge is such a gut-wrencher, my god. but this is the part that i find speaks more broadly to vincenzo. like i said, the loss of hanseo is what ultimately made him take a deliberately cruel, downright mortifying approach to his vengeance, to his punishment. and you were the sunshine of my lifetime / what would you trade the pain for? is obviously more in relation to vinzenco's relationship with hanseo. at least, in the intent of this set.

that goes hand in hand with i saw you in a bright-clear field, hurricane heat in my head / the kind of pain you feel to get good in the end, good in the end. that is just, exactly the scene when vinzenco confronts hanseok the last time, and remembers hanseo. whew. my god. what a gut punch.

other than that, i mostly just wanted the set to go from light to dark, because i think killing hanseok the way he did was in many ways a breaking point for vincenzo, hence all the shadows he finds himself in, and the fact that hanseo's death is the reason for it? absolutely insane. give up what you love before it does you in. vinzenco couldn't give it up, not even the memory of hanseo, and so he let it kill a part of hinself as well. he chose the knife to trade for the pain. anyways. i hope that was somehow helpful for you! thank you so much for your question!

[galactic-pirates]

For the fandom ask game: 13, 17 James Watson, 20 Sanctuary, 24 John Druitt, please. 😊

Oh yes! Such great questions, thank you so much!!

13) What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day? Oh, many. You should see my ideas list for drawing - it's long. There was a Star Trek prompt event and I got ideas, and the Year of the OTP event and I got ideas. So yes several for Star Trek (B'elanna/Seven, Kira/Dax, Owo/Detmer) and I really can't forget Janeway and Amelia Earhart. I will be bitter forever at the missed opportunity not to have her join the crew. It seemed like such poor characterisation as well. Would Amelia Earhart really have turned down the opportunity to pilot a starship??

17) What's a book, movie, or show you think James Watson would like? I don't think he would like crime/mystery media to be honest as either they don't play fair, or the answer is so obvious and the characters so slow to get it, that it's annoying. I think he'd probably check out the various Sherlock Holmes adaptations out of interest (and also to be guarded against any teasing), but I don't think he'd exactly like them.

To be honest I can't really see him watching much TV outside of documentaries. I think he might like movies a bit better as they are basically like plays. I think he might be interested to see examples of modern films out of interest for how they are made (hasn't technology come so far type thing) but I don't think the plot of most would grab him.

Books would definitely be his media of choice, and call him old-fashioned for that if you like. I don't know why but I wonder if he might enjoy a good old archaeological thriller. You know hunting for lost treasure and definitely on the more ridiculous side. I think he might be more willing to put up with inaccuracies if it obviously isn't taking itself too seriously (kinda like the Uncharted games).

The only actual title that springs to mind that I think he would actually like is The Princess Bride. Not sure why but I think he'd think it was clever and well done.

20) When did you first join Tumblr? How long was it between that and finding Sanctuary? Around April/May 2016 I think? I'd been lurking (aka reading specific blogs but not signed up) for several months before that, sometime mid-2015 I think. Anyway, I finally got FOMO and wanted to join in.

I first started watching Sanctuary... I can tell you, let me scan the blog archives. I think I tried to find it August 2020, and watched a bit via YouTube as I wasn't confident I would like it. I got the DVD in September and I think I was... mid season 3 (mid-October I blogged about having reached the Hollow Earth arc). You can tell my obsession really ramped up in October as clearly I did a deep dive for ALL the gifsets.

Amusingly one of my initial posts said that Tesla made a lousy friend (I'm laughing, boy did my opinion change) - hey! I never remember this stuff when I get asks about opinion changes. I remember my opinion now and rarely what came before.

Anyway I wrote my first novel length multi-chapter (Our Darkest Hour) that November before I finished the show. I actually stopped watching for the month in case the show messed with my outline, which it would have because Normandy jossed my Helen/James headcanon but oh well. It was kinda fun, a bit like capturing a fraction of the experience of if I had been creating when the show was originally live.

24) What's your favourite thing about John Druitt? I feel bad about this but the honest answer is his cursed nature. Without it, he's still a compelling character (as I wrote purely in Choosing Fate) but that agony of what happened to him, and the trauma to those he loved/who loved him just grabbed me. It's TRAGIC, and I like to fix things.

It's the whole Winter Soldier "it wasn't you" "but I still did it" type thing. Blame and judgement and guilt and darkness, and forgiveness, and how people can move on - it's fascinating. I see discussions on it on tumblr sometimes about redemption for characters. How far is too far? Are there some things that are unforgivable? Does it depend on outside factors - like being cursed - to mitigate blame? People have opinions. This can get controversial and I don't do conflict.

I remember Teal'c talking to Tomin on Stargate, saying that life didn't have to end, that he could never be forgiven but he could still do good in the world. I think of Regina who willingly walked down the path, but was pushed and manipulated by others (and a lot of pain). When I have written Regina I've talked about people being more than what they have done, that people have the power to choose, and she chooses to do better.

With John it's not really a choice (at least in my headcanon) while he's a host to the parasite. However, once it's removed - how can he move on? It wasn't him, but it was still his hand on the blade. He remembers it being him. I think it would warp his sense of morals too, after a century even if he wasn't a host anymore. Finding his sense of self, and his own moral code, would be a challenge.

Also his relationship with James. Coming of age in a world where it was punishable by death (or 10 years in prison and societal ruin). That too.

[rosyjuly]

saw these gifs https://rosyjuly.tumblr.com/post/69882566823498547 and blacked out imagining: prince au, a few months after they've broken up, charles convinces alex to go to a rugby game with him and pierre (big strong men wrestling in the mud! what's not to like! it will be good for you to see some sexy men so you stop moping all the time) and they have some beers and it is quite fun actually, and alex can't think of the last time he did something like this, and then they get on the dance cam during half time and alex does a sheepish little boogie and charles starts grinding on pierre and the camera quickly cuts away-

MEANWHILE george is up in idk the royal box having a miserable time, but in the kind of placid way that he’s always having a miserable time these days so it’s not exactly standing out, but then he gets a glimpse of alex on the big screen, first time he’s seen him in months and he looks so happy, laughing and smiling… and the friends he’s with are so obviously gay. It makes a shamefully jealous self-hatred curdle inside him, that he was forcing alex to hide away with him, could never have him so joyful in public like this, how selfish was he to want to shackle alex to him forever ETC!!

when george ends up on the screen during a stoppage towards the end of the game, alex is completely unprepared for it, only looks up in time to see him smiling (which looks just like his normal smile except for all the ways it’s completely wrong) and then the smile falling off his face to this awful, hollow look. barely even notices the beautiful girl under his arm, heart is in his throat because george looks so unhappy and he shouldn’t care, it’s not his responsibility to care anymore, george made sure of that, but he can’t just turn it off.

so then they’re both just sitting in a stadium, together but so far away, feeling heartsick and miserable and missing each other. probably go home and have the world’s most despondent wanks.

UM as you can see this au has completely taken over my brain!! thank you (and the coauthors!) so much for sharing it with the world.. truly love to see those pretty boys suffer

anon the pure JOY you and this scholarly, brilliant ask brought to me and @prettydangrotten ... obviously i was at work when i received it and had to share your genius and how PERFECTLY it fits into prince au with gabby immediately and gaby was like "ROSY DID WE WRITE THIS????" meanwhile i had to carry on with work conversations as if my whole world hadn't shifted...

this is the gifset in question and your analysis... scarily accurate. gabby and i talked about football (european football) being a passion george somewhat shares with his posh 'mates' and the princes have gone to some games (in full suits lol). kiss and dance cams look so fun but unfortunately we don't have them here in europe :( to anglicize the scenario a lil bit so it can fit into the not-so-fun british context...

pierre gets a three tickets to a premier league game from the other department's manager (otmar? rossi?) who's trying to fuck him. it's an arsenal - manchester united game (don't think i have forgotten or forgiven pierre for being a man u fan) and although charles isn't much into football, he still comes because PL tickets are ridiculously expensive so. they take alex who already wants to die in advance because the sexual tension between pierre and charles has been even worse than usual.

and oh my god-- gabby said george'd arrive late due to a prior engagement and then they show him on the screens while waiting for a VAR decision or Xhaka arguing with the ref (ooohh he would never) and alex has that exact reaction you described... and it gets me SO BADLY every time i think of post-breakup alex because he can't get rid of george! he's there on the telly, he's trending on twitter, he'll be on the bbc radio in fifteen years giving his new years speech... and alex hates himself how he still cares for him, even though it was GEORGE who eradicated that possibility! feels pathetic for it, for how george clearly didn’t care enough for their relationship to even break up with him when he started dating his future wife!

meanwhile george barely catches a glimpse of someone who looks like alex and then when he's at home he keeps rewatching the clip over and over again. as gabby said: "Alex sips his drink, rolls his eyes at something his friend says, and then just as the three of them work out they’re on camera (one of his mates starts grinding on the other; George’s stomach flips), just as Alex’s face changes to like happy shock —-It cuts away." and i'm FERAL over how while alex can't ignore george, george's issue is that he doesn't know shit about alex anymore. he asks jenson every six months to check on alex, but only tell him if he's 1) alive 2) healthy 3) not in need of anything. he can't bear the thought of not helping out alex if he'd need it but he won't take advantage of the secret service or MI6 or whatever.

thank YOU so much for sending this ask, we feel so so so honored for the interest for this au... it makes us so happy that you're sharing your ideas and interpretations with us and i'm in absolute awe about how perfectly it fits into the universe? anon i will be personally delivering your invitation to the prince au picnic with a wax stamp and violins!!!!

[tentacle-stylograph]

WOOOOOOO! finally watched The Sea Beast on Netflix! the first thing i saw of it, other than it being in my Netflix scroll, was this gifset, specifically the first two gifs and the bottom quote 'cause after i went "oHP THAT'S A MOVIE I'M WATCHING" from the first gif, i purposefully didn't look at the others. and HOOOOOOH BOY do i love reptilian sea monsters. -looks at my url- -corrects:- sea monsters. boy do i love sea monsters. so i was hyped to watch the movie only to see that design, but an artist i follow was reblogging a bunch about the movie and saying how much they loved it, so, hey! if it's a good movie too, that's a bonus!!

^this is the beauty that had me go “WELLP. THAT’S A MOVIE I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO WATCH”

anyhow.

non-spoiler review: FUN. I LIKED IT. THE ACTION WAS -CHEF'S KIIIIIISS-, THE DESIGNS WERE CHEF'S KISS, IT'S GOT ITS NICE CORNY MORALS FOR AN ANIMATED FAMILY FILM, AND I LIKE PRETTY MUCH ALL THE CHARACTERS. i've got some nitpicks i'll go into in the spoiler part of this review, as it is unfortunately a movie i'd have to force myself to watch again, but, for the most part, that's just 'cause of my own personal stuff / distractibility.

from the caps lock there, obviously i recommend the movie for most people. the most non-spoiler i can get on one of my bigger nitpicks is "character inconsistency. one of the characters seems to have certain traits to service the story's theme, and they inexplicably lose those traits at a certain point to service the story's theme / plot, instead of acting consistent to themself the whole time."

spoilers under cut!

__

so.

-upset exhale-

Jacob Holland.

he’s the inconsistent character i mentioned above. he’s the “hyper-competent” character, which was done super fun with the action, but then... he... just... falls apart when he’s taken away from his ship. for comedy, kinda. also to show he doesn’t know what he’s doing, sure, ‘cause that’s the point: he DOESN’T know what’s going on with these creatures. so, the writers could have kept that concept, sure -- that he loses some of his competence once he metaphorically loses his footing -- but there could have been a better balance ‘cause that was distracting.

i took some notes after watching the movie and i said “story-servicing abilities rather than character-serving abilities”: his level of competency is hinged to the story and to the writers, not to himself. again, there’s not inherently anything wrong with that -- storytelling is about communication, after all -- but the drastic dip was unbelievable.

another thing that--ugh. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHH. it’s a much smaller deal, but it’s the thing that makes the movie a “i have to force myself to rewatch it” movie.

the... ugh. really? the female-coded EYESHADOW on Red? really???? you have to give the sea monster eyeshadow?????

i would have accepted it if Maisie said her “I think she’s a girl” line or however that went. i would’ve been like “huh. um, okay sure” and that would've been fine. but the kid’s show Bluey and webcomic BACKLASH have spoiled me in regards to female designs. like, look at this wonderfulness:

everyone here is female except for the dad in back! no dumb cartoon eyelashes to tell them apart! you just gotta listen to the pronouns characters call each other. (with a few exceptions through the show, but they're the exception, not the rule, and i have no complaints about those characters)

and look at this! both female! (okay, the first one's from BACKLASH and the second is from a one-shot by the same artist.) no dumb exaggerated eyelashes or eye-shadow-that-doesn’t-actually-exist-because-you-need-to-know-the-character-is-female! wonderful! makes my heart so happy!

so anyway. that aspect of The Sea Beast isn't something that's going to stop me from recommending the movie. it's just a character design thing that irks me, like giving hair only to female stick figures or otherwise-genderless figures. and now that i've seen it's not strictly necessary, it irks me even more, especially on inhuman characters, especially since, usually, inhuman characters would have the males with those features.

anywho.

like i said, good movie, good characters.

i liked the transition of Captain Crow from murky protagonist to CLEAR antagonist, yet nothing he did seemed out of character from how he was introduced, and he was still an empathetic character the whole time. i'd need to rewatch the last scene to fully remember / grasp how his arc resolves, 'cause i do remember going during the credits, "hm, but his crew and ship got away, right? so he didn't have to give that witch 'everything,' right?"

but it seems likely his mental world was shattered and he lost the legacy he'd been working for and living in his whole life. so, neat. there are probably some really good lines and emotional moments around that which will seem even cooler with that in mind.

i liked that Maisie was smart and not just the-kid-in-the-way who has to be constantly saved, and the transition from her being gung-ho to scared and uncertain of the situation when Red first showed up was fast but believable.

and, i'll admit i was getting annoyed with "oh but everything's harmless. we've just been attacking first" oversimplified idea 'cause i've spent some time in places with literal mountain lions, and you gotta be on the lookout, especially if you have dogs, other pets, or kids, so i was grateful for the moment when Maisie, sitting in the gigantic conch shell, heard a roar in the forest and still grabbed a knife. i know it was early in the development of the "question whether something or someone is actually harmful / tradition isn't always right" theme, but i still relaxed

overall, the movie's theme is a bit oversimplified (and i know if i started comparing some of the movie's lines to certain real life idealogical movements, like history-deniers, that i'd be missing the actual points, but some of those lines distracted me too. but, at the same time, i also found the touch about propaganda at the end neat, with the royal family logo and how that was done), and i think How to Train Your Dragon probably went about its concepts more successfully from an animal behavior point of view, but it's a good movie that i'll happily recommend to others. (and i could never really get into the HTTYD movies, either, but that's another personal nitpicky thing, where i suspect i just don't like the more realistic animated movements and physics and a few other minor things lol, so i'm happy to have this movie now 'cause i like it a lot more)

as always, comments welcome, especially comments that disagree or that mention things i skipped over! (yeah, i unfortunately don't have much to say about Sarah Sharpe other than SHE'S SO COOL.) or just someone mutually happily screaming about the movie! remember, i did have happy caps locking at the start of this posts 'cause there's a lot of awesome stuff in this movie!! i appreciate comments and always find them interesting

edit: almost added these to the tags but i didn't want to spoil the creature's tentacles lol 'cause those were DOOOOOOPE

EDIT 2:

RIGHT

YEAH THIS MOMENT. THIS MOMENT WINS FOREVER AND EVER THIS WAS SO COOL YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

[wewringmagicfromtheordinary]

#what beth does with parker's face is kinda amazing here.#it's like she knew each second would be it's own gif and she gives each one a different feel.#she goes from surprised to calculating to oh-fuck-off-with-your-self-sacrificing-bullshit in 3 seconds flat via wouldicatchyoudreaming

#i love the last three gifs where parker is clearly letting hardison do the talking#but she's thinking 'yeah okay and if that doesn't work i'm gonna beat up eliot'#because that is her Violence face#and if we know anything from the commentaries it's that parker and eliot are similar in their capacity to compartmentalize and be vicious#it's a version of herself she doesn't show in public or even in front of the crew - but she does show it in front of eliot sometimes#because he Gets It and is very like-minded about Necessary Tasks#and right now she had decided that keeping the three of them together is a Necessary Task and is willing to be vicious about it#she's hoping hardison's joking and cajoling will be enough but. if it's not. she's prepared. because they're a TEAM#and she's KEEPING THEM TOGETHER by any means necessary#even if hardison has to see that side of her#even if it's gonna be The Parker versus The Eliot until he gives in and it can be parker & eliot & hardsion again#you can see her analyzing. calculating. preparing. she's going to fight to keep eliot even if he's the one she needs to fight#and maybe (obviously) not in a literal physical altercation (she might tase him actually) but she can cut him down with words easily#use his morality against him. use his humanity against him. she's a mastermind and a thief and she knows all about leverage#she's not a good person but she's trying to do good things so she will do this one bad thing so they can be together#and being together is not only a good thing - it is the right thing#so she lets hardison make his play but parker? parker is creating contingency plans#(spoiler alert: eliot stays) via all-things-breathing

#parker’s face#idk how to analyze that but theres something there#theres nothing—no words. no actions—that will make her leave one of her boys behind via agent-mcsweetheart

#hardison be like: eliot doesn't respond well to earnest proclaimations of love gonna harrass him into it like I did with the brewpub via innytoes

#this scene#it gets me every time#they have all chosen their places#and it is right next to each other#and it stays next to each other#even when it's not physically#it is the 3 of them as a unit#solid and good and whole via kekela717

#i have had this gifset in my likes for ages bc i just really like to watch Parker and Hardison's face#like they both look at first slightly surprised and then Hardison immediately drops into joking banter to deflect Eliot's concern into#their usual dynamic of teasing each other and making it a matter of skill rather than sentiment. its an attempt to defuse the situation#and also tell eliot they're not going anywhere in the language they always use to communicate#and also a way to give Parker a chance to process and decide on her own reaction#bc you can literally see her doing that while Hardison talks.  she looks surprised and a little confused#and then you can see her like. Narrow In on what Eliot is trying to do and analyze what he said and why he said it#and she gets a little...... frustrated? intense? and then immediately after this she comes in with the killer line#the one that gets to the heart of it and ends the argument definitively because she had that moment to think it through and analyze#and look at all the fiddly bits and put them together#uhhhh anyways! power couple! power throuple! i love them! via andsotheuniverseended

We agreed we all change. Better or worse, we change together.

[qinghe-s]

Hi,.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from MDZS? And why do you love them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

oh my gosh of course i don't mind!! the opposite! ♥

i could be cheeky and just list huaisang, but different adaptations (in order it'd be novel, donghua, cql, audio drama, manhua, just ftr) (donghua comes high on the list bc his scenes are more canon compliant than cql) but i'll take you more seriously than that:

nie huaisang still comes first, he's my sun and moon and the reason i got into mxtx at all. i've told this story before but in 2020 a friend of mine played a character based on him in a d&d oneshot and i was instantly charmed, saw her reblog a gifset a while later and then i started watching cql Just For Him. i started reading the novel around episode... 13? whenever they're in the xuanwu's cave, and he just kept ticking all my boxes. some boxes i didn't even knew i had! he might genuinely be my favourite character ever. he's a spoiled, adorable boy and a horribly bitter and devastatingly lonely adult who does awful things for someone he loves? the most character. no one beats him.

nie mingjue, lan xichen, and lan wangji get to share second place because i couldn't choose if i got paid to. they're so good. all three of them are so deeply loyal but show it in very different ways. i adore how nmj has such an incredibly big heart even though he's not presented as especially kind or nice, but his actions speak volumes if you take the time to look beneath the surface. lxc is kindness personified in contrast, serenity in the shape of a man, and the fact that that's both his strength and weakness in context of the main plot is *chef kiss* — plus, you know, he's the perfect man. who doesn't love him! lwj is an angry, petty, jealous, horny bitch and righteous and brave and so unbelievably good. kind without being nice. incredibly stubborn. objectively kind of terrible in bed (i mean HONESTLY) but it genuinely just endears me more. what a guy.

wei wuxian isn't someone i talk about a lot but oh my god. darling boy. i'm constantly overwhelmed by how kind he is to the dead, how gently caring. when he, lwj, and wen ning go back to the burial mounds before the second siege and he holds a skeleton hand to his mouth, holding it so gently? the way he cares? i'm tearing up just thinking about it. he isn't even the type of character i'm usually drawn to because he has such a severe case of main characteritis but i LOVE how his arrogance is his downfall and how, at the end of the day, what he really wants is a place to come home to. i could write way too much about about him & homes but that's for some other day.

my top favourite moments is honestly kind of hard! both because there are SO many but also, like... i can't decide if my favourite moments are the ones that make me happiest or the ones that make me have the most feelings. i'll try, though!

obviously i want to say "at least 70% of everything in the Guile chapters" but if i have to pick just one scene it's the one where nhs' things are burned. which seems horrible!! but it just says so much about him! the way he switches so quickly to fury and how easy it is to read fear into that reaction, like he's been holding things back for a long time and it just boils over. oh my god. baby. but also for real just. Guile. it's got the juice! and by juice i mean nmj/nielan/nie brothers

wwx coming back from the burial mounds the first time. it's so haunting! wwx, jc, and lwj all have so many things going on for them! jesus christ!!!

when the nie brothers arrive at baifeng mountain. they're both displaying such typical traits of masculinity, just on opposite sides of the scale (i've compared them to a lumberjack and a guy in a suit commercial before; the masculinity is equal but wildly different) and it Delights me. bonus: when jgy complains about how much prey nmj has captured and lxc LAUGHS OUT LOUD because he also finds nmj delightful (':

huaisang during the second siege ♥♥♥ i'm Obsessed with how he pushes his own agenda and the desperation you only see when you already know what he's doing. he's so precious to me, my perfect little guy, my most beloved.

i love almost everything about the extras. yes the bichen thing and the library pavillion too. my favourite extra is the lotus pod one, specifically lwj's chapter and absolutely everything about it. the way the lan brothers interact, the way lwj helps the common people, his insistence on picking lotus pods, the little glimpses of what lxc is like when no one's watching him... tearing up just thinking about how he loves the blooming magnolia so much he needs to paint it and how he goes to their mother's cottage to practice playing liebing. and how lwj put lotus pods in a vase there :((( they're such wonderful boys

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 25 part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Jin Jerks Continued

Jin Furen is all judgy about Wei Wuxian, so it's hard to like her, since WWX is our protagonist and whatnot. But! Jin Furen is actually totally awesome. She adores Jiang Yanli and takes sides with her against her own son. She knows he likes Yanli and works her ass off to do all the courting for him, since he sucks at it, rather than picking a random wife for him and sticking him with her choice. She's always gentle with Yanli in her tone and body language. And Jin Zixuan had to get his good side from somebody.

Wei Wuxian politely tells Jin Furen that it's all over (again/still) between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, and cousin Jin Zixun rushes up to argue with him, saying he's being too proud and that he shouldn't talk to Jin Furen that way, since she is his senior. Wei Wuxian, still politely, explains the clan politics that underlie every one of these Zixuan-Yanli interactions. As a matter of clan pride, the Jiang Clan can't allow Yanli to be insulted.

Cousin Jin Zixun immediately goes all in on the clan rivalry, beefing with Wei Wuxian about how much prey he caught. Everybody forgets all about Yanli's situation while they talk about the hunt results instead.

The Jin cultivators--parroting what they heard from Jin Guangyao--say that Wei Wuxian has flute-walked 30 percent of the prey into nets by himself. Lan Wangji actually decides to react to something, saying "30 percent? and giving Wei Wuxian such a series of LOOKS, oh my god. 

This Wangxian moment is an important one, I think, because it shows where Lan Wangji's priorities are, and they're...wrong. He's continually telling Wei Wuxian "be good," in one way or another; trying to help him back to the correct way of being a cultivator.  Meanwhile the Lans are totally fine with the Jins being murderous shits who feel entitled to insult high-ranking ladies.

CJZX continues to snipe at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji continues to judge WWX for being unsportsmanlike.

(more after the cut!)

Wei Wuxian says that he's just showing his capability, and CJZX tries to tell him both that 1. he's practicing evil cultivation and 2. he's just playing the flute. WWX offers him Chenqing and says "show me your capability" which I think is cultivator speak for "fight me, bitch." 

Cousin Jin Zixun moves the goalposts, saying that Wei Wuxian broke the rules, and starts in with class-based dogwhistling, saying "it's understandable that you don't know the rules," and citing examples of Wei Wuxian’s previous bad manners at cultivation events. 

Things escalate and pretty soon Wei Wuxian is yelling at everybody, threatening to tell them why he doesn't carry his sword, (which would actually clear up SO much) and saying he's going to beat them all using necromancy whatever is just this side of necromancy. 

Cousin Jin Zixun tosses his birth status at him, and then it's ON. Scary music, shaking fist, Chenqing booting up...

Lan Wangji, who has been singularly unhelpful since CJZX started talking, suddenly forgets his judginess as he's swept into motion by his constant fear of whatever is going to happen next time Wei Wuxian loses his temper. 

He rushes to Wei Wuxian’s side, grabs his wrist, says his name, and wills him to chill the fuck out. Jiang Yanli joins him, grabbing Wei Wuxian's other arm, and Wei Wuxian manages to get control of himself.

Queen Yanli

Yanli has had it, and she has Wei Wuxian stand behind her while she goes to politely reduce Cousin Jin Zixun to a heap of smoldering cinders.

First she recaps CJZX's accusations against Wei Wuxian; says she doesn't know a lot about the hunt, and apologizes formally on her brother’s behalf. WWX says "Shijie!" but she shakes her head at him and he shuts up.  

CJZX laughs and tells her, in a tone designed to infuriate Wei Wuxian even further, that Wei Wuxian doesn’t rate her apologizing on his behalf, and says that their clans are like family; reinforcing WWX's outsider status. I don't think CJZX is taking orders from Jin Guangyao, because he's way too big of a snob for that, but he's definitely helping JGY to move his agenda forward.

Even Lan Wangji is having trouble staying cool during this exchange; he is focused on keeping Wei Wuxian in check but he’s also angry himself, judging from what his neck is doing here, anyway. *Stares at his neck for way too long*

Wei Wuxian is super upset about Jiang Yanli apologizing, and he’s unable to hold back tears, even with Lan Wangji using the power of extreme staring to help him. 

Jiang Yangli is nowhere near finished, though and she turns around and proceeds to tell everyone that they suck, that it's not Wei Wuxian's fault if he's more talented than everybody else, and that they are just making up rules because they are a bunch of losers. 

Clan Leader Yao has the nerve to say that they know the rules "in their hearts" which is just another class-based dogwhistle. 

Yanli defends Wei Wuxian's cultivation method to everybody, saying it's something he worked at and put effort into--that it's different, not wrong. She's literally the only person who defends his cultivation style, even though they all have benefited from it.

Then she gets right up in Cousin Jin Zixun's face and tells him that it's not ok for him to insult WWX by calling him the son of a servant, and she wants CJZX to apologize. (full gifset here) All of the Jins and Captain Blowhard Clan Leader Yao are SHOCKED at this idea. Jin Furen tries to talk Yanli down but Yanli politely nopes her away, so JFR tells CJZX to apologize.

He's saved from having to actually do it by the arrival of Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, who jump down off a box fly over to find out what's wrong.

Jin Furen yells at smiley, blinkey Jin Guangyao, telling him he should be able to figure out what's wrong, saying "aren't you good at judging the situation," i.e. aren't you a conniving little creep? She's bitchy but she's not wrong.

When the "30 percent" thing is explained again, Lan Xichen gives Wei Wuxian the same Lan Glare of Sportsmanship Disappointment that his brother did. 

Lan Xichen: It's fine for my boyfriend's obviously power-hungry family to insult my brother's war-hero best friend in a bid to reduce his social status, but him using magic powers in our magical creature hunt is super wrong.  

Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen explain that they're going to open up more area for the hunt, but it's too late to make Cousin Jin Zixun happy. He takes his ball and goes home. 

The Breaking of the Fellowship

The remaining group stroll slowly through the woods, Jin Furen and Jiang Yanli together, while Wei Wuxian walks at a bit of a distance and Jin Zixuan follows right behind his mother. His mother offers to beat him to make Jiang Yanli feel better. See? Perfect Mother-in-Law material.

Jiang Yanli tries to leave again, and is stopped again. This time Jin Furen tries to convince her to come back to the stands to sit with her and Jin Zixuan, and not to go with Wei Wuxian. First she tries saying that it's not appropriate for her and Wei Wuxian to be alone together. Yanli shuts that right down, saying that Wei Wuxian is her didi. Then Jin Furen says that Wei Wuxian has "strong wicked energy" and that he may do something evil. Like fighting back when he is ambushed on his way to a party.

Jiang Yanli repeats that Wei Wuxian is her didi, and says that she'll never leave him. JFR keeps trying but Wei Wuxian steps up and takes Yanli by the wrist and goes to lead her away. Jin Zixuan finally, FINALLY admits that he likes Jiang Yanli. 

He is embarrassed, Jiang Yanli is delighted, and Lan Xichen is amused. 

Jin Zixuan runs away and Jiang Yanli agrees to go back to Jinlintai with Jin Furen. Wei Wuxian is super immature unhappy about it....

....but he accepts her decision, in a nearly wordless exchange that we’ll see echoes of much later, between him and Lan Wangji. (Exceptionally cruel gifset here)

Wei Wuxian formally bows to Jin Furen, asking her to take care of his sister. Because he recognizes this for the parting that it is.

Jiang Yanli isn't wrong to make this choice. She deserves to be happy, and married women in this environment can't live with their original family. But she told Wei Wuxian, over and over, that the three of them have to stick together, only to change course and leave him behind with no warning. It’s not even five minutes since she said "I will never leave him."  Wei Wuxian isn’t the only person making impossible promises in these parts.  

Jiang Cheng and some Jiang cultivators show up, and everyone, including Wei Wuxian, tells Jiang Cheng that he missed an important scene, but nobody will tell him what actually happened. 

Wei Wuxian says he's going into town, and he leaves Jiang Cheng behind just as abruptly as Jiang Yanli left him.

Jiang Cheng asks Lan Xichen what happened, and Lan Xichen says "there was an argument but it's mostly smoothed over now; also, Jin Zixuan says he likes your sister."  Ha ha ha ha! Of course he does not say that, he says "You should ask your sister at the banquet" and Jin Guangyao says it wouldn't be appropriate for them, as outsiders, to comment.

I would like to see Jiang Cheng respond to this by beating the crap out of them with Zidian for being a couple of coy bitches, but he just furrows his brow. 

JGY hangs back from the group for a second to tell JC that WWX is sooooo great, before they all head back to Jinlintai.

Insecurest Boi

As everyone is walking Jiang Cheng hears Captain Blowhard saying that Lotus Pier made a strong impression today, and that they'll be able to recruit a whole lot of disciples. The cultivators are of two opinions about whether having Wei Wuxian is a good thing for a clan. 

Then a Jin cultivator says he heard that the Yin tiger amulet is made of the missing piece of Yin iron. He says he overheard it from Jin Guangyao. He says even if it's not for certain, the timing fits. Jiang Cheng reacts to this as if he 100% believes it, because Jiang Cheng is a dumbass sometimes. 

He should just frickin’ ask Wei Wuxian about the amulet. Lan Wangji asked where he got it and Wei Wuxian told him, and Jiang Cheng, while they have their issues, is officially on WWX's side, so there’s no reason for WWX not to tell him.

The Jin cultivator goes on to say that the Jiang Clan ain't shit, that all their deeds belong to Wei Wuxian.  Jiang Cheng takes all of this on board totally unfiltered. Literally everything that any Jin cultivator other than MianMian says is propaganda coming from Jin Guangyao, but Jiang Cheng thinks they're friends and doesn't know how to recognize manipulation. 

Jiang Cheng is hearing the exact same criticism that Jiang Yanli heard, but he's not equipped to handle it, and instead of fighting back he gets angry at Wei Wuxian. Despite all his recent growth, he is still crushingly insecure, and this is hitting him right in his tenderest spot. Jiang Fengmian has a lot to answer for.

Instant Replacement Sister

Wei Wuxian is off working through his own feelings; he's wandering the street in Lanling with a bottle of wine in hand. Wen Qing, in her red Wen robe and her hooded cloak, is wandering the street in the opposite direction. They pass each other without seeing, in a moment that's excruciating to watch the first time. 

But then some Jin cultivators obligingly push her to the ground, and Wei Wuxian, with his beautiful heart of fucking gold, hears someone who needs help and turns around.

For a moment he smiles in recognition, before the smile clouds over. Wen Qing, for her part, looks horrified; perhaps it’s everything she’s going through, but perhaps she can see that he, in his own way, is struggling nearly as much as she is. Meeting with her will galvanize him and give him the life direction he desperately needs.

A Day Late and a Tael Short

Lan Wangji wants to solve Wei Wuxian's problem, but he lacks imagination, so his best idea is to hide him in Cloud Recesses. 

Lan Xichen points out that Wei Wuxian might not be on board with that. This conversation is short, but it has some layers, once you know about their parents' relationship. Lan Wangji frowns but doesn't have a second idea.

[spencers-renaissance]

can't un-sing a song that's sung.

Summary: The worst thing about it is that Derek isn’t even surprised when he gets the call.

Tags: drug use, overdose, hurt/comfort, guilty derek & hotch, angst with a hopeful ending, bedside vigils, protective derek & hotch NO MCD

Pairing: Gen (Platonic Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid; Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid)

Word Count: 1.8k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

Major TWs, obviously. I'm just so angry that no-one did anything about Spencer's addiction in season two, so I decided to punish Derek and Hotch by having the (almost) worst-case scenario come to fruition. Fic inspired by this gifset & title from this poem (v short but v poignant) Fills the 'Overdose' square on my Bad Things Happen Bingo card.

The worst thing about it is that Derek isn’t even surprised when he gets the call.

His heart sinks, of course, and his stomach feels like it bottoms out. His chest tightens and he struggles to breathe for a minute and a half, his hands clamming up as his tongue freezes and he can’t find the words to respond to Hotch over the phone. But he isn’t surprised. And that, when it really and truly comes down to it, is exactly where his sins lie.

He races as quickly as he can to the hospital, not obeying the traffic laws by any stretch of the imagination as his hands grip so tightly at the steering wheel that his knuckles turn white and the pattern of the leather; the seams where it's sewn imprint themselves on his palm. His heart pounds rapidly and it’s all he can hear, blood thudding in his ears as the tight knot of anxiety sits heavy in his stomach.

He’s just pulling into the hospital car park when he realises that the last time he felt like this — God, the last time he felt like this was when he first realised Spencer was missing all those months ago. He heaves a dry sob as he abandons his car in a space he hopes is the right one, and slams his palm down hard on the steering wheel once.

He allows himself one more guilt-ridden, heartbroken sob before he forces himself to calm down, doing his best to ignore the tumultuous emotions raging inside him as he shuts the car door behind him and hurries towards the entrance.

It’s hard not to cry when he first locks eyes on Hotch. Seeing his calm, stoic supervisor in a state of utter disarray — red-rimmed eyes, messed up hair, ruffled clothes — somehow makes this all seem a bit too real. Maybe in the car ride over he’d still clung to a small, pathetic bit of hope that this is all a nightmare, that he’ll wake up in a minute and he’ll drive to work and Spencer will already be at his desk, beavering away.

In the harsh lights and bustling noise of the hospital corridor, he knows that’s not going to happen.

They don’t say anything as they stare at one another, both clearly struggling to bite back the raw emotion threatening to spill from their eyes, to unleash itself in a full blown meltdown. Eventually, Hotch sits back down and buries his face in his hands, and Derek joins him on the little two-seater bench.

He doesn’t claim to know much about hospitals or medical care in general, but he knows for damn sure that waiting on a bench outside the ICU is not good, and he’s doing everything in his power to not think about that too hard.

They’ve been sat in stony silence for countless minutes before Derek finally lifts his head, though he still can’t bring himself to look at Hotch again. “Have you called the others?”

Hotch swallows, and Derek can see the tear-tracks trailing down the side of his face out of the corner of his eye. He pretends not to notice them.

“No,” he says, voice unsettlingly shaky. “Only you.”

He decides now is not the time to dwell on that. “Is he— is he going to lose his job?”

The only reason none of them had done anything sooner was because they knew how important this job is to Spencer. And Derek hates with a burning, roaring passion that their hesitation; their cowardly delay, might have cost him his life instead. Just the thought brings another choked sob from his lips, and this time the tears come with it. Before he knows it, his shoulders are shaking violently and all the emotions Derek is struggling to name finally come pouring out, right into Hotch’s lap.

He feels an arm wrap around him and he’s too broken not to lean into it, seeking comfort from the one person in the entire world who can offer it right now. Falling apart in his superior’s arms is not how he saw his Thursday evening going, but he’s too exhausted to care.

By the time he finally pulls away, Hotch is crying too, and they sit a little closer on the bench.

“Spencer won’t lose his job,” he says determinedly, looking Derek in the eyes. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Derek knows that they will have to lie. Papers will be forged and Hotch will be backed into an impossible corner, and he knows that they could lose their jobs if they are ever found out. He doesn’t fucking care. They’ve already failed Spencer in a disgusting, immeasurable, utterly unforgivable way, and he’ll be damned if they ever do that again.

“Good,” he says, and that’s the end of that.

Derek doesn’t understand most of what the doctor tells them, but he doesn’t really care that much for the technicalities anyway. All he cares about is that Spencer had overdosed in the parking garage of his building and was found by a neighbour he doesn’t even know that well. He cares that a damn near stranger was there for Spencer when he wasn’t, and he cares that Hotch was called as his emergency contact, and as such, Derek can finally step up. He can walk into his room and hold his hand and tell him that he’s here now, and he’s not leaving again.

He cares that Spencer is going to be okay.

He’s still asleep when they’re finally allowed to take their seats by his bedside, and Derek tries very hard not to cry at the sight of him, but it isn’t easy. There’s still a bluish tint to his fingernails, and he looks pale and clammy under the oxygen mask. Medicine drips slowly into the line connected to the cannula in the crook of his elbow, and the heart rate echoing out from the monitors is still alarmingly quick.

The evidence of Derek’s failings is staring him right in the face, and it’s hard not to turn away, but he refuses to let himself. He has a lot to make up to Spencer, but he can damn well start by sitting with him here in his darkest hour.

“We all knew.”

Derek looks up from Spencer’s hand to meet Hotch’s eyes. “Yeah.”

“We all knew, and we didn’t do anything about it.” The guilt in Hotch’s voice is momentous enough to rival Derek’s own, and it hurts to hear. Derek failed Spencer as a colleague and a friend-maybe-something-more, but Hotch failed him as a father figure.

He feels tears well up in his eyes again and he does his best to swallow them back down. “Emily did.”

A violent sob tears itself out of Hotch’s lungs, and it’s so loud that Derek almost flinches. “And isn’t that just so much worse? She barely knows him! I met him at lunch with Gideon when he was nineteen, I’ve known him for seven years! Before all of this went down, he almost called me ‘dad’. And I sat back and watched him suffer with both the PTSD of being kidnapped and the fucking heroin addiction he developed because of that bastard, and I did nothing!”

Derek’s at a loss as he watches Hotch break down in front of him, his voice breaking as he shouts, tears streaming down his face as he dissolves into sobs.

“He’s never gonna forgive me. Nor should he. I can’t stand myself right now.”

A little uncertain of the right thing to do, Derek stands up and crosses to the other side of the bed and wraps his arms around Hotch like he did for him only hours earlier. “We all fucked up,” he agrees, “but we’ll get through this. We might never forgive ourselves, but we can always do better. We can do right by Spencer as he recovers, we can help him get clean, help him keep his job, remind him of how loved he is. We can’t abandon that duty just because we failed at doing it before.”

Hotch sits back up and wipes at his eyes furiously, casting his eyes on Spencer. He reaches a hand out and brushes it through his short but untamed curls tenderly, his thumb caressing his eyebrow and forehead gently.

“I know,” he says quietly. “I won’t fail him again.”

Both Derek and Hotch spring into action as soon as Spencer stirs, waking up slowly through the layers of sleep until he’s staring at both of them with a look of terrified uncomprehension in his eyes.

“Hey,” Hotch says softly, hand moving to cup the side of his face. “You’re alright, you’re safe. You’re in the hospital with me and Derek, and everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Spencer slowly looks around the room as the realisation of what’s going on slowly dawns on him, and soon the anxiety is replaced with abject horror and to Derek’s dismay, he immediately starts to cry.

“Hey, hey, pretty boy,” he murmurs as soothingly as he can, following Hotch’s suit and tangling his fingers in Spencer’s hair. “Don’t worry about anything right now, okay? Hotch and I are gonna fix everything right up, and we’re gonna help you. We’re gonna help you like we should’ve helped you before.”

He hates that he loses his composure slightly at the end, but Spencer relaxes slightly so he takes it as a win.

“You can go back to sleep now, Spencer,” Hotch says gently, spotting the signs of exhaustion easily. “We’re gonna stay right here with you, okay? We’ll be here when you wake up.”

When he does finally awaken again, he explains through tears and strangled breaths that he didn’t mean to, that he wasn’t trying to die, he was just so tired and in so much pain that he hadn’t calculated the dosage right.

Hotch and Derek calmly explain that they’re not judging him, and that they’re going to help him through the hospital’s rehab program. Spencer refuses their apologies but they repeat them anyway, trying not to show just how much they hate themselves as they do.

They rope Penelope in, and she helps them make sure Spencer keeps his job, but otherwise their team is entirely oblivious to their chaotic and regret-filled Saturday night spent in George Washington University Hospital.

Most of all, though, Derek does absolutely everything in his power to make sure Spencer is happy, no matter how torn-up and scarred he might feel when he goes home to his own apartment. It isn’t much compared to his property business and his coveted role at the FBI’s behavioural analysis unit, but to Derek it’s his most important and worthy mission in life.

And if that spirals into something more, well. Maybe that’s just one good thing to come out of that small, stuffy, heartbreak-riddled ICU room.

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