#and my dad is still poly and i have no problem with that it genuinely was just cuz my parents needed to end it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mengyao · 2 years ago

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3, 5, 6, 22!

3: What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?

my problem is that i can always be arsed to write all the set-up and context and this is how i get into Pickles (all my wips get out of hand.) i'm sure there's something though… OH i know. it's the ling wen/pei ming/shi wudu fic of my dreams, which involves escalating bets/wagers and culminates in a sleazy threesome but they all have feelings about it but the feelings are complex and unnameable. they are not in love but they love each other but also they don't. but they do. you know.

to get the vibe i want, it couldn't just be pwp though. like i would want this to be a trojan horse of emotionally dense 3 tumours character study. but also funny, because they're comedians to me. minimum 5k of buildup necessary, and in order to do that and have it be good i would have to Get A Degree In Pei Ming And Ling Wen And Shi Wudu and tbh the reason i don't write more poly ships is that having to canon review to get two characters' voices down is enough work as it is… you expect me to do more than that……………….

5: What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

i've flippantly posted about this before but i do feel like i have an elevated level of insight into the nhs + nmj dynamic due to the circumstances of my dad's health issues/head injury/death lmao. i would never do all of that though <3

6: What character do you have the most fun writing?

nie huaisang is the obvious answer (assigned comic relief at birth. a font of earnest sadstuck. deserves to go to prison. the swiss army knife of blorbos.) but shi qingxuan is edging up there. i thought my beefleaf sex pollen fic was going to be 3k but it ended up 8k because sqx as a pov character just kept going and going and going and i was having a GREAT time. i used to shy away from writing characters who are talky and have big personalities because i felt like whatever i wrote would turn out feeling fake and/or annoying, or that it would be more obvious if my characterization was off than if the character was more subdued… i guess i'm just more self-confident now?

more than just being extroverted and chatty, i think what's sooo fun and novel to me about shi qingxuan is that they're such a doer. after primarily writing cerebral repressos for the past 15 years it's so refreshing to write a character whose reaction to most situations is to follow their instinct… they keep the plot moving! never a dull moment!

22: Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

ah ha ha ha ha yeah no i reread stuff i wrote in the last ~2 years allll the time. i know what i like! and if it already existed up to spec i wouldn't have written it! there's definitely stuff i find cringe and parts i skim if i'm not happy with them but overall i spend a lot of time on my own ao3 page......

///

you also asked about foowd extras... i still find writing + sharing these kind of mortifying because despite bravado about my trans fanfiction brand, part of my brain is still like "okay but NOW it's cringe because NOW it's not 'suicidal closeted trans character is depressed and makes bad choices' but 'comparably emotionally stable character is a known transgender and has some good things happen to her' so everyone will point and laugh over your SELF INDULGENT WISH FULFILLMENT!!!1!1!!1" because the particular brainworm i find very difficult to remove re: residual shame over writing trans fic is the idea of anything you write being automatically discounted as personal projection basically on par with readerfic rather than coming from being genuinely interested in the canon character(s). and wanting to write about nice things happening to fictional trans people being like, THE WORST MOST CRINGE thing you could ever do. but i persisteth.

it's funny because i WOULDN'T even say they are just fluffy wish fulfillment stuff... the four "chapters" i'm planning on posting have a bit of an emotional arc, and what interested me enough to write them out instead of just leaving them as comfy eyelid movies were questions like "now that it's actually happening, how WOULD nhs actually feel about the prospect of not only stepping down from sect leadership but uprooting her entire life to go join another sect," with the idea that, if that were to actually happen rather than stay an escapist fantasy, she'd probably feel... pretty conflicted about it! it would be weird (even if ultimately worth it)!

so there's that. and then there's the fact that the entire original fic largely sprung out of ideas about sangcheng eventually being in a long-term relationship that looked a certain way, and then reverse engineering the interpersonal arc that would be needed to get them there (and that becoming the main fic.) foowd proper ends when they've only just even actually "become a couple," and you don't get to see much of that... so i wanted to chuck at least SOME of what i imagine about straight married sangcheng's day to day life into the world. (not that it's even at that point yet LMAO. EVENTUALLY!!!) if for no other reason than that there's a strong chance that sometime i'll reference something from the extended foowd lore in casual conversation forgetting that no one has any idea what i'm talking about because it does not exist anywhere except my brain

#yin1se4 #replies

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adam-banks2024 · 4 years ago

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Deja Vu

Part 1

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Kind of angst for now, backstory, arguments, and extremely slow burn. Also future poly

He’s insufferable

He’s arrogant. He’s rude. He’s annoying.

He is insufferable.

And I have to deal with him.

Of all the people Mrs. Moore could have partnered me with, she just had to choose him. It’s not like we even put a show on in public, and it’s sad but, everybody knows about the feud between us that started four years ago.

I had just moved to town from three states over, and I didn’t know anyone my age. After a few weeks of summer went by of not knowing anyone, my dad convinced me to join the district’s hockey team. He told me that it was because he wanted me to make some friends, but I knew that he really just couldn’t afford to pay a babysitter. And my mother, well, she wasn’t in the picture. So I ended up having to go through the lost and found at six different ice rinks in Minnesota in order to get all of my equipment. At first, I was wary of the idea, but my dad said that it was kind of like shopping, so I agreed to go with him. Originally, we would have only had to search five rinks, but I couldn’t find any skates that were my size. After almost twelve hours of rummaging through sweaty pads and broken sticks, I had myself a full set of hockey gear.

Now I was on to the next challenge: How To Skate. I had been ice skating a couple of times before for birthday parties, but I’ve never been able to skate at the level that I had to in order to survive during an entire hockey game. I thought maybe it would just come to me naturally after attending a few practices. Until I did some research at the school library. Apparently, it takes a person at least two months to learn how to ice skate. But ignoring the negative, I decided to focus on the positive. ‘I could at least balance myself...and besides, I probably would be on the bench for every game...and just remember, you’re doing this for friends.’ These were the only three things that ran through my mind on the way to the ice rink. I was honestly terrified. I was scared that the other kids would make fun of me, or worse, ignore me. Well, maybe being made fun of is worse, but at least then they’d acknowledge me. I had to stop myself from thinking about that kinda stuff. I haven’t even attended a single hockey practice yet, and now I’ve added at least four more stressors into my life.

When my dad pulled up to the building, my stomach was tingling. My hands were clammy, and my eyebags had definitely seen better days. I wanted to run so fast away from this place, and not move at all at the same time.

“Nerves,” my dad said. He must’ve noticed from my frozen state in the backseat of his minivan. “You’ll do great! Just don’t break any bones.” He chuckled at the end in hopes that it would come off as a joke, but that is definitely not how it sounded.

To my surprise, I was the first kid that had arrived. I didn’t know much about the team, but I did know that most of the other kids had been on it since they were five or six years old. I was almost the exact opposite, thirteen and just starting. I wasn’t really sure why I was the first person to arrive, and it only added to my nervousness.

I tried to brush it off as I saw someone outside in the parking lot leave a car holding a bag like you had. I could hear his muffled voice. “I’ll see you at six.” Whoever he was talking to must have responded because the boy spoke again, “yup, love you too.” A parent maybe. A mom? I could faintly make out a silhouette in the driver’s seat, but the glare from the sun blocked most of the car window.

Thank god someone else was here because at least now I knew that I was in the right place. But another problem arose. Now, different things were rushing through my head about what to say to the other boy. Should I make a joke, ask a question? Simply say ‘hello’? I didn’t know. So, I decided to settle on the most stupid thing anyone could ever say.

“Are you on the hockey team?” What kind of question is that? He has a bag, this time is cut out specifically for hickey practice, and he has a hockey stick with him. Why else would he be here?

He looked up from where he was walking and stared at me awkwardly. It was likely that he wouldn’t have even noticed me if I hadn’t said anything to him. But I did. Which I regretted.

“Oh, um, yeah.” He went to keep on walking but he stopped himself quickly. “Are you?”

I had to keep a laugh in because the boy looked genuinely confused. Or maybe I misjudged that for concern. Still, though, it sounded a bit hopeful. This kid was really hard to read. Either way, I was pretty sure that he thought I couldn’t play hockey.

“Yeah. My dad made me join to make some friends.”

Suddenly the boy’s demeanor changed. He seemed almost excited that there was a new kid on the team. “Well, I’ll be your first friend. My name’s Adam. Adam Banks. Walk and talk.” And then he started towards two big double doors.

My eyebrows rose at the sudden confidence, taken off guard, but at least he was being friendly. I adjusted your bags and followed right behind him. “So what’s it like here.”

He answered after struggling to open one of the doors, “Well it’s not so bad. It’s super cutthroat during the regular season but in the offseason, it’s pretty relaxed.” As I made myself around the outside of the rink, he kept rambling. “Especially during summer league. The kids who only play during that league have it nice. You’ll definitely survive.”

“Um, so what happens during the regular season?” The thought of angry yelling coaches wasn’t appealing to me, but I could make it work

Adam shrugged his bag up so it wouldn’t fall from his shoulder, “Well. Usually, coach yells at us, tells us that if we don’t win we’re failures, and everyone is constantly fighting to be a starter.” There was silence. “So that’s fun.” I just nodded my head, trying to take this all in. Adam didn’t say anything until he reached the locker room doors. Then he turned to me. “Yeah, but coach is a lot less lenient during summer because it doesn’t really matter for playoffs.”

I scoffed, “yeah, but I’ll eventually have to deal with him. Right?”

Adam’s expression flattened, “Wait, you’re doing winter league too?” He looked genuinely concerned, and now I was second-guessing joining hockey. If this boy didn’t think I could survive, then how could I? Even if I was just gonna sit on the bench, the way this kid was making it out to be was not sounding like the greatest way to make friends.

“Well, yeah. Is that bad?” I needed to hear him say it. Say that I should quit, or join dance, or something. Just so I could have an excuse to tell my dad in case the first day of practice goes awry.

He spoke fast, “Oh no, no. It’s just that--”

“That I’m not good enough…”

He didn’t say anything. Harsh. I was just trying to make a joke but, I guess that’s what he was really thinking. We stood in silence for a few more seconds, and then he finally thought of something to respond with.

“No. I just feel like you’ll get hurt… and, um.”

I started to laugh. I applaud Adam for trying to make it seem like he didn’t think I was bad, but he just couldn’t do it. “Don’t sweat it, I know I’m gonna be bad.” He started to laugh with me. “Hey, at least I’ll get abs out of it.”

He and I were actually pretty good friends for the most part. He was my first friend here in Minnesota. He taught me how to skate, and in turn, I offered him some sub-par jokes. He always used to laugh at my jokes even if they were awful. He was what I considered my best friend. He definitely wasn’t a best friend, I couldn’t confide in all of my secrets, and he couldn’t do the same to me, but Adam was the only kid I was friends with. We laughed hard, we fell on the ice together. He even told his mom that practices started to end later just so he could wait with me until my dad got off work and picked me up.

Not long after we bonded, I hato the ducks. At the time, I didn’t know exactly what happened. All my dad said to me was something about how the coach wasn’t that nice, and that he didn’t want me on his team. I didn’t really care since hockey wasn’t something that I cared about too much. So I said goodbye to Adam and explained that I had to go. I didn’t say anything about the coach-not-liking-me part because then I thought he’d feel bad for me.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to switch teams too, but I think my dads’ gonna see if I can stay on the team.” He spoke almost as if he was trying to convince himself. I thought it was a great idea to tell him why he had to go to the ducks.

“They don’t want you, Adam. Maybe if you go to the ducks, you’ll get a coach who appreciates you.” I didn’t know what was wrong with what I said to him until about a year later, but by the time I finished my sentence, he was fuming.

The situation afterward was a blur, and I can’t remember what all was said. I just remember Adam touching on the fact how I’m an awful hockey player, and that he only talked to me because he felt sorry for me. Now, if my old coach had told me that I was awful at hockey, I’d be completely fine. I already knew that, and coach is just...coach. But hearing it come from Adam? It wasn’t like he was just telling me how it is, he wanted to hurt me.

It took me two weeks to stop thinking about the situation constantly, and then it started to fade away. I never even told him the real reason why I told him what I did, but now I have to work on a history project with him. How am I gonna do that if I can’t even tell him the reason for our quarrel that we had three years ago? Let alone complete a whole project?

“The syllabus will be given tomorrow, and the deadline for this project will be written under the ‘AP History’ bulletin. You may get to work.”

I slumped out of my desk and started putting away my things that were on the table attachment. During this, I tried to think of what I was going to say when I went over to him. I almost decided on either trying to make a truce or just acting like he didn’t exist.

He was slouched in his desk, pencil in hand, avoiding eye contact with me. As I sat down my stuff on an empty desk near him, his words startled me. “So, 50/50?”

I just stared at him. For some reason, my brain could not process what Adam had just said. It took a solid four seconds for me to respond. “I don’t understand.”

Adam’s eyebrows rose while his eyes rolled, “Of course you don’t.”

I scoffed, “What, you’re just gonna say some numbers and you think I’m gonna understand what you’re trying to say?”

He was leaning forward in his desk now, “Well you seemed to be doing well in calculus, so, yes.” A small, mocking smile was now gracing his face.

I took in a deep breath to try and refrain from spewing whatever profanities came to mind. “Look, can we just set aside whatever this is so we can do this project?” He crossed his arms in response. “C’mon, I can’t afford to get a bad grade.” Still no response. If his goal was to ruin my life, he sure was on the right path.

“What do I get out of it?”

The audacity.

“I’m just saying. I’ll be fine with one bad grade, so what exactly is the payoff for tolerating...you?”

So there was a shiny glimmer of hope, but it would definitely come at a cost. “Anything. Anything you want. Just please, tolerate me.”

He brought a hand to his chin, acting like he was pondering his choice, “but will it really be anything?”

“Oh my god, you are so annoying.”

“Watch it.” His voice was stern.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. But yes, anything. You name it.”

Did he even know what he wanted? Or was he just trying to play this out? Either way, I’m about to have a conniption if we don’t start working on this project soon.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Of course, Adam had to change his thinking position almost every second, until he decided on what he wanted. “Okay, here’s the deal. I help you get your precious little A, and you have to get me a date with Charlie.”

#the mighty ducks #the mighty ducks imagine #the mighty ducks x reader #mighty ducks #mighty ducks imagine #mighty ducks x reader #adam banks #adam banks imagine #adam banks x reader

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katatonicimpression · 3 years ago

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Iceman!

do I like them:

Yes! Look, I know he's an annoying dork but have you considered that I too am annoying and I too am a dork?

5 good qualities:

He's smart. Smarter than people assume because he's always saying the dumbest things

He's kind.

He's creative, he makes sculptures and they're really good. He's an artist.

Connected to the previous one but he is just absurdly talented with his powers.

He's brave. Granted he is nearly impossible to kill so he doesn't risk a lot that often, but he's courageous as hell.

3 bad qualities:

His jokes suck and his fashion sense is terrible.

He shoots himself in the foot a whole bunch.

He's presumably a not great boyfriend...? Like, all his relationships fall apart and its not just the straight ones. Also he's lonely, almost always single and he HATES it. So what's going on there? By all accounts, he's a catch: he's nice, got broad interests, he's got money and he's hot - it's very clear that in universe he's supposed to be very attractive. So what gives? I think he's maybe just not all that much fun to be in a relationship with, probably because he's rarely that genuine with anybody.

favourite episode/etc:

I really love his storyline in the 90s with Emma taking over his body and the fall out from that. It's the one with the very blatant subtext that falls just short of saying he's gay because they weren't allowed at the time. Also it dives into his relationship with his dad which I find genuinely really upsetting. I also genuinely loved his 2017 and 2018 solo series.

otp:

Pyro (St. John Allerdyce). I can't help it I'm sorry.

brotp:

I like the Amazing Friends (Firestar & Spiderman), and his friendships with the O5, Kitty and Rogue. I also really like him with Bishop and I wished we'd got more of that in Marauders (although that one could easily not be platonic.. that said I feel like he's a bit too nerdy to be Bishop's type, but then again he's probably chaotic enough... who knows?).

ot3:

I actually did write him, St. John and Shinobi as having had a (non-explicit) threesome for some unknown reason...? It made sense at the time, and Bobby and Shinobi still had their situationships with Christian going on in that fic. Just one big poly disaster.

notp:

I don't think I gave any big "no way not ever" ships for Bobby, aside from not liking the straight ones for obvious reasons. I will say I'm not on board with him and deadpool..? I also don't really care about Christian as yet.

You think you've got problems. My fave's canon boyfriend is a bit boring. Think about that.

best quote:

So he's got a bunch of one-liners obviously. I googled iceman quotes and found this on the list:

"I am pulling the most totally bizarre vibes off the others."

Idk made me laugh. Why does he talk like this?

I liked his speech to thor here:

And is "Maybe I am a loser?" moment is iconic. Also when x-corps is happening like half his dialogue is just him calling Sean a nazi which is honestly pretty funny.

head canon:

I think he's not particularly religious in terms of his actual beliefs and associates conversation about religion with his very conservative parents (his dad is Catholic and his mum is Jewish) so prefers to avoid the discussion. That said, I think he's really into family traditions and that sort of thing. He still does all the holidays with enthusiasm... probably too much enthusiasm

He has being paying very little attention to any of the big events on krakoa (ToM, Inferno). Like, he's a few days out of the loop on events and isn't entirely sure what's going on but assumes they'll sort it out. I think he likes a lot of things about the island and the people there, but I don't think he's bought into it really. It's just another wacky stage of his life for him

He's often genuinely surprised by how alive his ice golems are and is secretly a bit freaked out by it

Despite being a teenager in the 60s, Bobby is clearly still under 35. With that in mind, I headcanon his music tastes as being very 80s and early 90s. There's a lot of synth pop in there, and I feel like he got really into Alanis Morissette.

#asks

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miscellaneous-bnha · 4 years ago

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Poly! Ghosts Hawks/Shouto x Fem! Reader

Commissioned by @bobawithpomegranate

CW: Nothing too bad. Strangers to friends to FWB to lovers, Some light angst, happy ending, Shouto eats Hawks’ cum to prove a point, Hawks and Shouto throwing shade at each other, spitroasting, reader is constantly overstimmed at the end --------------------------------------------------------

Your quirk quite literally made you see dead people.

Thankfully, you don’t actually have to see what caused their death, but rather during their best moment before their passing.

Your ability to interact with them, however, solely depends on their state of mind during their passing.

For people who were in grief over their passing, they were often too hysterical to communicate with.

People who’d come to accept their passing were easier to talk to, but touching was relatively impossible because they were on their way into transitioning into another life. Their energy was too little to physically interact with.

People who weren’t in grief over their passing, but still struggled to accept it would be able to make physical contact with you as well as avoid the hysteria.

In other words:

You hadn’t expected to literally run into pro heroes Hawks and Shouto

3 months after their supposed passing.

You were skeptical because no bodies were ever found.

But now you knew.

And it was awkward.

------------------------------------

“So…” you slide into your apartment with the ghosts of the former(?) pro-heroes shortly behind you, “you died during the last villain attack, then?” Hawks shrugs.

“Technically, yes, but also no. Do you remember what the villain’s quirk was?”

“To make people ‘disappear’ or something?”

“Yeah, something like that. Come to find out, their quirk turns people into ghosts. We don’t actually know if we’re dead or alive.”

“That would explain your continued existence then.”

For the next several hours, the three of you talk about the possibilities, but with no safe way of testing any of your theories, you opt to just giving them a space to stay, even if they don’t actually need it.

The next morning, you thank your lucky stars that you don’t have work, considering you would have been 4 hours late by now. You’re also slightly unnerved to find the both of them watching you.

“Sorry, but there isn’t exactly a whole lot we can do anymore. Watching you make funny faces in your sleep is the best we have.” Todoroki shrugs as you sputter indignantly,

“I don’t make funny faces.” “Sorry to tell you, but he’s not wrong. Your face is pretty funny.” you glare at the winged pro,

“You’re not helping.” He shrugs,

“Never said I was trying to.”

You decide to let them pick a Netflix show to leave on overnight, making sure it would continue to run for several hours uninterrupted as you slept.

--------------------------------------

the show they ended up coming to agree on was some weird trashy reality show.

You didn’t even know it’s existed.

But that’s ok

You didn’t need to know.

Watching them float around your apartment and explore was… a little unnerving, to say the least.

Considering this was your private space and all

But they were good company

Hawks talks a lot about how he misses fried chicken, and that you should eat some for him every time you try and get food together

Only to be interrupted by Todoroki

Honestly, you thought it was to be like “leave her alone and let her eat what she wants”

But then boy really was out here like “she should eat cold soba for me instead”

Like wow, thanks.

-----------------------------------

“C’mon, mini Endeavor! Don’t be so cold.”

‘Wow, talk about shots fired.’ you raise your eyebrows, turning to Shouto

“Call me that again, and I’ll roast you alive you KFC reject.”

‘Oh yikes; returned serve.’ you look at Hawks from the corner of your eye.

“Oooh, feisty kitty. Little calico catboy. Besides, we’re ghosts; I don’t think you can kill me like this.”

‘Saucy. Pro Hero Hawks confesses to knowing what catboys are.’ you bite your lip, raising your glass to take a sip.

“Test me again and you’ll find out, Red Robin.”

‘He’s got you there.’ you nod to yourself.

“Fair enough.”

It’s silent for a moment; you set your glass down and look up just in time to see Hawks smirk.

“If it makes you feel better… your dad tastes about as awful as he acts.” It doesn’t make Shouto feel better, but it’s good to know that the most damage he can do is strangle Hawks.

----------------------------------------

“They’re good company” you decide

But you’ve been pent up for almost a month now, and you decide that you’re almost horny enough to rent a hotel room to ‘solve your problems’

But you don’t because that’s a little weird

That doesn’t stop you from fantasizing though.

You don’t expect them to be watching you in the morning one day

-----------------------------------------

“I thought I put Netflix on for y’all.” You turn into your pillow, groaning quietly as your legs and back stretch.

“We were watching it…” Todoroki starts,

“Then a certain little missy started making noises.” you grunt, perturbed.

“Okay, so I sleep talk. What about it?”

“I don’t know if you could call that *sleep talking*, per se…” You peek an eye open at Hawks, squinting when you notice his grin, “What do you think, catboy?”

“Definitely wouldn’t call it sleep talking.” He says from the other side of you. You don’t expect the small smirk on his lips, nor do you expect the way he stares at you so intensely.

“What… do you mean…?” you shove yourself further under your sheets, heart rising up into your throat.

“Sounds like someone’s a *little*...” Hawks looms over you, lips next to your ear, “pent up.”

You shiver hard, but cough and try to save face.

“How do I know you’re not lying to me?” you grumble, closing your eyes as if you were trying to go back to sleep.

“I bet if we take those pretty panties of yours, they’ll be soaked right now.” Hawks presses, eyes growing hungrier.

You flounder for a moment, and that’s all it takes for Hawks to make his move.

“Do you want some help, birdie? Want me to use my fingers on that pretty little pussy?” You shudder and whine, growing embarrassingly wet,

“I bet you’re just dripping from the thought, aren’t you?”

“Sh-shut up…” you spit weakly, pressing your thighs together.

“C’mon, why don’t you let me help?” His hands are slapped away before they can pull the sheets from you.

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to touch her,” Shouto slides his hand down your back; before you can whine in protest, more than willing to follow through, he continues.

“Maybe she’d rather have a real man touch her, not some ‘Original Recipe’ asshole.” You laugh into the pillow despite yourself.

Even now, Shouto somehow manages to make this into some strange competition they’ve been having, but you don’t complain when two pairs of— admittedly cold— hands pull away the sheets.

Especially when you’re no longer finding yourself in need of a hotel room.

----------------------------------------------

Somehow, you end up being Friends with Benefits with both of them.

Though they only ever used their fingers and mouths on you, but you weren’t going to complain

“It’s the least we could do, since you’re giving us somewhere to linger and free entertainment.”

Or so they said, anyway.

Somehow they learn just when you’re in desperate need of their touch before you even walk in through the door, almost instantly tugging you in and throwing your clothes off.

Despite the strange circumstances, you end up growing closer to the both of them over time

Part of you dreads the day you figure out how to reverse the villain's quirk

Assuming it’s possible

Not only were they both the best bed partners you could ask for

You genuinely enjoy their company and shady banter

But in moments when you’re all huddled up on the couch, watching yet another trashy reality show

You forget they’re ghosts in the first place

-------------------------------------

“God, I can’t believe Jasmine.” You scoff, throwing a piece of popcorn at the TV.

“Right? Paula didn’t deserve that shit. That girl is a queen.” Hawks grumbles in agreement, groaning when the interviewers cut to Jasmine.

“Agreed. Paula is queen.”

“It’s a miracle the two of you haven’t completely fried your brains watching this.” Shouto rolls his eyes, reading a book you brought home the other day.

“Shut up. You’re just mad Bernadette got voted off last week.” Hawks throws a kernel at Shouto, but— expectedly— it goes right through him.

“Bernie was the only decent girl and you both know it.” He glares, borderline pouting.

You smile, bittersweet. You grab the kernel that phased right through Shouto and continue watching the episode in silence.

You’re too lost in thought to notice the way they look at you.

-------------------------------------------

At one point, their words and touches become so much sweeter, even outside the bedroom

When, however, is a question you couldn’t even begin to answer.

Some days, you wake up to the two of them brushing your cheeks, your hair.

Shouto grabs your hand gently, planting a soft peck on it with a quiet ‘Good morning, sweetheart.’

Hawks following up with a kiss to your temple, “how’d you sleep?”

Other times, they would greet you at the door, asking about your day as they helped you out of your coat, taking your bag from you.

It felt so domestic, so peaceful, so *loving*

you were afraid of it shattering like glass under a sledgehammer

But as they say, all good things must come to an end

-------------------------------------------

“Good morning, hummingbird.” You groan when Hawks presses a kiss to your eyelid, warm fingers tracing over your cheek.

Warm?

You open your eyes, whipping your head to look at the winged hero, “Hawks? You’re warm??”

He grins, pretending to be bashful, “Oh, why thank you! I’ve been told I’m rather nice.”

“No no no, you’re warm. Not cold.” You grab his hand and inspect it, thumbs pressing into his palms. He grunts,

“Well, now that you mention it, the room *is* a bit cold.” You hardly pay attention to him though when you’re suddenly stumbling out into the living room.

“Shou? Shouto?” You find him sitting on the couch. He looks up from the book, shocked.

“Yes? What is it? Are you okay??” He stands, meeting you halfway as you press your hands to his cheeks.

“Warm…” you whisper, heart thumping painfully in your chest.

“Well, at least your left side is.” You pull your hands away from his cheeks as he looks at you baffled, then to Hawks.

“Is everything alright? What’s going on?”

“I think… I think you’re human again.” You laugh humorlessly, and they look at you skeptically.

“Human? How? We didn’t do anything.” you give an exaggerated shrug,

“I don’t know, but how else am I supposed to explain your temperature.” They stay silent. You expect them to.

A pregnant pause, then you let out a shaky breath.

“I gotta call someone…” you tug at your hair, “Before someone finds out and I get accused for kidnapping you both.”

“Well, let’s not be too hasty, I mean” — Hawks shrugs— “everyone thinks we’re dead anyway. Wait and see if we stay warm.”

“And if they find out you’re here? Then what?” You grimace, more at the idea of them disappearing than the consequences, but you also knew that you wouldn’t be able to financially handle the backlash.

They both stay silent, Hawks giving you a shaky smile. “Then… just a couple of days. Just to make sure we’re actually back.”

--------------------------------------

The next two days were unbearable

The tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife

The timing of the universe must have been lined up for this very moment, your first two days off in months leaving you stuck between them on the couch

Nobody said a word, not even when Bernadette made a surprise comeback in season 9

Thinking about constantly being alone again made your heart turn to ice

But as it stood, all you had connecting you was the ghosting quirk and your FWB relationship

But as quick as it came, it was gone

The number of officials flooding your apartment and interrogating you was overwhelming, but Hawks and Shouto were quick to step in and explain

At least, everything they could anyway

According to the association, they couldn’t squeeze anything out of the villain responsible for changing Hawks and Shouto into ghosts

But once they confirmed that you were not a threat, they left you with a “light” warning

In other words: “Stay away. You’ve done enough”

---------------------------------------------

Your house was so quiet, yet the T.V was on, your phone playing music, trying desperately to distract yourself with the book Shouto was reading. Nothing worked.

You still felt the way their presence lingered, practically permeated the room. You couldn’t sleep in your own bed anymore, sheets feeling far too warm. Sitting anywhere other than the middle seat on your couch made you feel like you were taking up someone’s space. Your kitchen seemed to have just a little too much space to move.

Two months pass since they’ve left, and it never seemed to get better. Rather than stressed, you just felt... tired. You wanted to feel anything but tired, but the echoes of their banter only reminded you that they were gone…

And you were alone once again.

You had no way of contacting them, and they were probably far too busy with the press to even think about the nobody girl who found them wandering.

Days blended together until it all came falling down. You fell into watching the news, the tabloids all celebrating the return of their favorite heroes Hawks and Shoto. Even Endeavor seemed uncharacteristically floored to see his son alive and well.

You laughed bitterly; ‘I would bet money on the fact that he probably rolled his eyes when he saw his father.’ wry smile on your lips.

Maybe another cup of coffee would be worthwhile.

--------------------------------------------

You told yourself daily to just get over the unrequited feelings, yet you still yearned to see them every day.

You wished it were easier to pretend they were never here at all

Especially when they did it so well.

Though you supposed it was all the hero work talking.

You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the last season you’d been watching with them, memories still too fresh even if it’s been more than a couple of months since you touched it

Netflix did a wonderful job at reminding you constantly

Eventually, you stopped watching netflix too

But couldn’t bring yourself to stop paying for a subscription, naively believing they would be back to continue as if nothing changed

You loathed it

Yet it was the only illusion you had left

Until it wasn’t an illusion anymore

---------------------------------------------

It’s half passed one in the morning when you hear a knock at your door, frantic and desperate. You stumble out off the couch, nearly ramming your body into the door in an attempt to peek through the peephole.

You couldn’t believe your eyes when a flash of crimson feathers crossed your vision.

You yank the door open, wondering if this was some sort of cruel dream when you’re brutally reminded that it’s not, and that Hawks is-- indeed-- standing in front of you. In the flesh.

“Hey birdie.” he starts, looking far too exhausted.

“Hawks…” you whisper breathless, lungs rattling in disbelief when you inhale.

“Yeah… it’s me. The calico wanted to be here too, but his dad wouldn’t let him out of the house.” he smiles, strained.

“Shouto… wait, why are you here?” you glance around his form nervously, expecting to see blood. He swallows a thick lump,

“Can’t a bird just come say hello?”

You wheeze, smile more like a grimace, but you step aside and let him in. He walks around, more than well acquainted with every corner. Fingers running over your furniture, as if he were still trying to feel the memories that lingered.

“S’ colder than I remember.” he whispers and you nod,

“Yeah… Heater broke some time last month. Still waiting for the landlord to get back to me.” he doesn’t reply, staring at your bedroom door.

It’s painfully silent, but you’re afraid he’ll disappear if you say something now. You can’t tell what he’s thinking, not with his back facing you. Then he turns, and suddenly you’re far too aware of all the words he has to say to you.

For the first time in months, you feel like you’re burning alive.

--------------------------------------------

By the time Hawks was through with you, the sun was high in the sky.

You didn’t think you’d be able to say you got dicked down hard enough to stay stuck in bed, yet here you were

Stuck in bed

His fingers run through your hair, sweet words of adoration leaving his lips with every kiss he presses to your skin

You can hardly believe that Hawks is still here

Even after he’s spent all night and all morning fucking it into you

You don’t remember the number of times he’s whispered how much he’s missed you

How much he wanted you

How much he needed you

Yet here he was

Fingers rubbing into your skin how badly he needed you to be real

The blissful illusion broken by sharp knocking on your front door

Yet Hawks-- or rather Keigo, as he insists-- still smiles

“Hope you’re not too tired, birdie… Your day’s only just begun.”

You don’t know if you should be afraid or not.

-------------------------------------------------

“Shou--!” you’re cut off when he practically scrambles into your bed, lips smothering yours.

“Fuck, I missed you baby.” he growls against your lips, ‘I’m a little pissed the Chick-fil-a wannabe got to you first though.” “You’re still on that, huh.” Hawks muses, lazy grin on his lips when you squeal at the cold air hitting your skin, blanket gracelessly thrown to the side by the half-and-half hero.

“And you made a fuckin’ mess, asshole.” Shouto grumbles when he pulls your hips to the edge of the bed, forcing your legs open. You can feel the way Keigo’s cum drips out of you, making you flush in embarrassment.

“Don’t… don’t stare, dammit.” you cover your face, knowing full well that he would never let you push his head away.

From experience, of course.

“Ruined such a pretty little pussy... “ you hear him mutter before his tongue is licking a wet stripe up the length of your pussy, circling around your clit before sucking it into his mouth. You’re still so sensitive, and you almost howl in sweet agony from the way your clit throbs and stings from the overstimulation.

“Whoops, can’t have you alerting the neighbors now can we?” Keigo says as he sits on the bed next to your head, stuffing his fingers into your mouth.

You can tell he’s only pretending to play it cool, his wings puffing out impressively the longer he watches your face twist and your eyes cross, moaning and humming around his fingers. You feel cold fingers press into you and you gasp, the temperature shock making your clench harder around them. “Oops, sorry. Should have warned you.” Shouto hums, not sounding the least bit sorry. His fingers press and coax the deepest parts of you, massaging your gummy walls. You arch and cry out, thankful that Keigo’s fingers were capable of muffling your noises.

“Geez, you’re wasting all my milk there, kitty cat.” you can hear the shit eating grin on his face, but it’s quick to drop when Shouto’s suddenly licking and sucking, slurping obscenely before pulling away and giving Keigo an unamused ‘meow’.

Keigo doesn’t respond, too shocked for his usual witty comebacks, but that doesn’t deter Shouto from trailing his warmer fingers up your body, pressing over your stomach.

The contrast between his cold fingers prodding around inside you and the warm ones pressing down on your tummy makes you breathless, cumming with a squeaky moan, thighs shaking around Shouto’s head. He chuckles, amused at the way you clench around his fingers, coaxing you through your orgasm until you slack against the bed.

You’re suddenly turned around, head hanging off the edge of the bed, still lying flat on your back.

“Wha…” you slur, attempting to look at Shouto who’s climbing on the bed, pulling your legs over his hips when suddenly Keigo’s standing by your head, leaning down and planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Think you can take us both at the same time, hummingbird?” his cock is in his hand, stroking lazily. You swallow, chewing on your lip before nodding slowly.

You weren’t actually sure, but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try.

“Atta girl…” he praises, stroking your cheek gently before pressing the tip against your lips. You give it a cheeky little kiss to mask your own nerves, tongue poking out to tease him before your mouth drops open into a moan, the feeling of Shouto filling you up immediately distracting you.

“It’s not nice to tease, baby.” he teases you, hips smacking into yours rudely. You choke when Keigo fills your mouth, fighting to relax your throat.

You’re thankful that he’s at least taking some care to help support your head and neck, but your thoughts are quick to drift away as Shouto stuffs and stretches your cunt, nothing but grunts and hums leaving you as Keigo slowly fills your mouth.

“God, what a pretty sight birdie. Your little throat flexing around my cock.” he mutters, hand caressing the front of your throat, squeezing gently. You try to focus on keeping your breathing even, but it’s hard when Shouto continues to insist on fucking you so roughtly.

“Your cute little cunny looks so small, stretched around my fat cock baby.” he groans, only taking a short moment to savor the way his cock looks covered in your juices and some of Keigo’s leftover cum, almost immediately slamming into that spot that has your eyes crossing, stars flashing across your vision.

You lose complete track of time as they take you in every which way until suddenly you’re waking up, clean and tucked into bed. Hawks sits on your left, Shouto to your right. Hands caress your body sweetly, whispered words almost enough to distract you from the aching pain in your body.

“Sorry, sweetheart… we got carried away” Shouto kisses your knuckles gently, eyes gentle compared to the ferocity they had before.

“It’s been so long since we’ve been able to see you, touch you… I thought I was going to go crazy,” Keigo follows up.

You don’t think you could talk even if you tried, so you just squeeze their hands. They squeeze back silently, all three of you basking in each other's presence.

Something tells you that they won’t be going anywhere any time soon.

#crow commissions #Hawks x Reader #shouto x reader #Hawks x Reader x Shouto #BNHA #BNHA Hawks #BNHA Todoroki #Bnha au #bnha ghost au #Ghost Hawks #Ghost Todoroki #Ghost Au #They Become Human Again

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

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Favourite Fics of 2019

So...I thought that I’d give you all a list of my favourite fanfic’s that I read in 2019! I’ll include the description that was given by the author and then give a brief commentary of my own! Please make sure to not only read the fic, but give it a like and reblog! Give it some of your own comments and too, and follow/tell the author!!

Authors - I’ve got some authors repeated so you might have more than one fic here!

Readers - ...there’s a lot of fics here lol

Welcome To The Underworld by @spookitokki

; Demon/Radio Show Host!Jungkook x Human!Reader

; Synopsis: In a dark little second-hand shop downtown, stuffed in an alleyway you only stumbled into because you were lost, you found a charming antique radio. When you turned it on, it began to play what would become your favorite radio show, “Welcome to the Underworld”

; My Thoughts: I rec’d this fic very recently but I still remember it well. Demon Jungkook is weirdly caring for her despite her being human and him being demon from the Underworld. The reader...well she has no sense of self-preservation honestly haha. I enjoyed everything about this; the smut, the world building, the characterisation and so much more!

Matters Of The Heart by @hobidreams

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: it seems not even the passage of half a decade can diminish the hold of Mr. Jung’s charms on your heart. but the rumors that welcome you home speak of his imminent marriage to an heiress, one who bests you in every infuriating, ‘ladylike’ fashion. just how, then, are you meant to interpret the undeniable sparks of desire in his eyes?

; My Thoughts: I maintain that I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. I think it’s probably like...in my top list of fics all year. It’s just...amazing. The writing feels authentic to the era and the reader is a delightful rebel that we all love from Victorian eras after all. And of course...Mr Jung is just a ridiculously attractive man that I would like very much. Rain is apparently making a follow up drabble AND I AM EXCITED!

An Abundance of Scrunchies by @jhspetitegf

; Single Dad!Hoseok x Kindergarten Teacher!Reader

; Synopsis: ❝hoseok is a hot single dad and you’re the new kindergarten teacher that likes to piss him off❞

; My Thoughts: This series of drabbles has completely stolen my heart. Dae is adorable and the reader is delightful in how she loves her kids. And then there’s Hoseok, the grumpy businessman who’s incredibly rich yet adorably dotes on his daughter and doesn’t get mad at her. It’s just...fluffy and angsty softness. I love it so much, and the smut was...oof. I can’t wait to read more!

Polaris by @junghelioseok

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: somehow, someway, he always returns to you.

; My Thoughts: I MAINTAIN THAT I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH AHHH. It’s so unique and beautifully written, such a delight to read and I enjoy it every time I do. The mixing of the ages throughout the years and how Hoseok evidently has knowledge of their future together but doesn’t tell her. It’s so sweet and yet so organic how they come together. It could be weird and creepy given the difference in ages continuously but it’s not. He’s always a gentleman and it’s just...it’s just wonderful honestly.

Faded Love by @jamaisjoons

; Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you.

; My Thoughts: Okay but like, I still feel the pain and sadness when I read this fic the first time :( the reader’s confusion and pain at being abandoned so thoughtlessly despite her efforts is so hard to read. I still hate Jimin for doing it, and I’m glad that he stopped and realised that he was making a mistake. But poor reader will never be able to fully trust him again and always be worried to some degree :(

Lost And Found 01: Tick Tock by @fortunexkookie

; Peter Pan!Hoseok x Captain Hook!Reader

; Synopsis: The only hope you had at ending your exile and earning your life back came in the form of an infuriating and uncatchable man: Hoseok. He seemed to love the endless game of cat-and-mouse you two played - so much, in fact, that you were unsure if you were the cat or the mouse. What he failed to realize was that there was a third player, and this one wasn’t after him. The Crocodile hunted you with an intensity that rivaled the way you chased Hoseok, but with one difference: the games he played were deadly.

; My Thoughts: Okay so like...a lot of my favourite fics ever this year have been Hoseok based. You’re not surprised, I know you’re not. But this fic is just...I cannot WAIT for the second and third parts of it. The world is so richly realised and the characters have such phenomenal characterisation and development in just this one chapter. It’s so...involving to read, you just get lost in it. It’s truly a beautiful work of art that I can’t wait to see how everything goes!

Jungle Park by @jimlingss

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah…once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

; My Thoughts: I looooooved reading this fic. Jimlingsss is basically why I made Flower a once a week thing, because when I was reading Jungle Park, I was always SO EXCITED for Monday’s because it meant I got to read a new Jungle Park! It’s such a slow burn romance but it’s so delightful and rewarding watching this cold and moody lawyer warm up to his bright and bubbly HR person. And then you learn the backstory between them and...I just loved it all!

Magic and Mysteries by @jimlingss

; Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: Everything’s okay….EVERYTHING’S OKAY, YOU’RE FINE. Look, you just have one tiny problem. It’s an itty-bitty issue. Not that big of a deal. So what if you don’t have a familiar and you’re about to take on the ENTIRE family business. Oh, you have a name to uphold? Everyone’s depending on you? Great. That’s just fantastic. But it’s fine. You’ll get your familiar and you’ll run the best damn potion shop the world has ever seen. Everything will be fine, right?

; My Thoughts: Again, another Jimlingsss story but honestly, they’re always golden. I particularly remember this fic because I read it when I was in Korea. It’s so delightful and fun, reminding me a lot of Kiki’s Delivery Service. Jimin is a little rascal but I love that he teases her because he genuinely cares. It’s all just a truly wonderful fic and story put together in one delightful package.

Love, Guaranteed by @gukyi

; Taehyung x Reader

; Synopsis: with the celestial ball quickly approaching, kim taehyung is horrified to find out that you, his best friend, are dateless. to remedy this, he initiates The Match Project, a matchmaking service designed to find the most optimal date. to you, it’s an opportunity to meet someone else so you can stop pining after your clueless best friend. to him, it’s an opportunity to finally, once and for all, tell you how he feels.

; My Thoughts: I do quite enjoy reading Hogwarts fics, and I particularly enjoying reading Hogwarts fics with BTS as students as long as there’s no smut in it. Gukyi’s Hogwarts series was such a delight to read and I remember reading this fic with a smile on my face. Wanting to scream at reader because POOR TAEHYUNG OBVIOUSLY LOVES YOU. Poor guy trying so hard despite everything :(

Lovers’ Fuck Rule by @prolixitae

; Jungkook x Reader x Hoseok

; Synopsis: jungkook is still new to your established relationship with hoseok, which means he needs a little help feeling competent sometimes. especially when it comes to sex. alternatively, the span of a poly relationship over inaccurate amounts of fucking.

; My Thoughts: Okay look, I don’t do shipping or anything but Junghope is one of the best friendships/combinations there is. And this fic encapsulates why. Jungkook is so nervous with her whereas Hoseok is just...so unbelievably calm and dominant about it all. He knows exactly what gets his girl off and it’s sweet how amused he is by Jungkook. You can feel the slight insecurity almost off Jungkook because Hoseok has been with her for years but you can also feel the genuine love the reader has for him, along with the friendship Hoseok obviously has too. I really enjoyed it all!

Get Wet by @prolixitae

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: sitting in on your boyfriend’s dance practice is probably your biggest kink. it’s also the reason you asked to be so shamelessly fucked in the locker rooms of his dance studio, in spite of the pending consequences. note: this is not an idol-verse fic

; My Thoughts: You know I love Hoseok, and this smut was just...oh my god wow. Bizarrely, I explicitly remember reading it while in the cinema waiting for a film to start haha. TNS Hoseok is amazing though and I really love him. In this fic he’s even more amazing though and I just...god I want him so badly. Urgh, 10/10

Eating For Two by @park-moomin

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: He’ll have a Large

; My Thoughts: ARGH GOD I REMEMBER READING THIS. URGH, what is it about Hoseok that makes the idea of oral sex with him just so...amazing? Actually just any sex. Any at all. I love the idea of him being so...eager and desperate to go down on his girl, particularly when she’s pregnant so that she can still get some pleasure and fun out of it. Also, him cumming in his pants is just...the cherry on top haha

The Devil In His Details by @park-moomin

; Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: Evil comes in many forms. In this instance, it's a 5'8" pretty-boy with an even prettier dick. And you're the form you want him to come in.

; My Thoughts: Lawd, I remember this being one of the hottest smut’s I’ve read in a while and I still stand by that statement. It does make me laugh that this was supposed to be a 1k drabble cos...girl...this length reminds me of me haha. Still, I think Jimin got the blowjob of his life...probably every man’s life here. Well done Jimin, go back for more.

Hot Rod by @kinktae

; Greaser!Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.

; My Thoughts: The whole Rewind series that Rose has been doing but you all know I’m a Hoseok hoe and HOOOOO BOOOOOY GREASER HOSEOK IS SOMETHING ELSE. Everything about this fic was just...wonderful and it felt delightfully 1950s. The lingo and outfits, the cars and everything. It was hot and Hoseok deserves everything. I still kinda hope there’ll be a drabble or something in the future but either way, read this as it’s soooo good!

The Boyfriend Concept by @kpopfanfictrash

; Pornstar!Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.

; My Thoughts: Shanna always writes some of the best fics on tumblr and this is definitely one of them. You’d think with it being a ‘win a date with a pornstar fic’ that he’d be a little weird or something about it (there’s nothing wrong with pornstars but you can imagine it’d be odd) but Jimin is just...so sweet and kind and polite! He’s just...the perfect boyfriend honestly. It just so happens he does porn too...I honestly loved this so much!

Beneath The Boughs by @gimmesumsuga

; Dryad!Namjoon x Reader

; Synopsis: For almost as long as you can remember, the tree stood opposite your apartment has been a part of your life. Countless memories have been made under the shade of its supple branches, but when its existence comes under threat, you soon discover that your favourite tree is more special to you than you ever could’ve known.

; My Thoughts: I still maintain that this fic is just basically Steph gushing about her love for Namjoon all over the page. It’s just...so sweet and soft. Namjoon makes the perfect dryad and I can easily imagine him being one. He’s such a delightful character who you just want to protect and teach about the world because he has that kind of delightful innoncence. I loved it so much!

Sweeter Than Sweet by @gimmesumsuga

; OT7 X Reader

; Synopsis: You never would have expected someone like Park Jimin to notice you. As handsome and beguiling as he is deadly, you’re enthralled from the very moment you meet. Addicted to his kiss and his bite, Jimin opens up your eyes to a whole new world of love, lust and seduction.

; My Thoughts: This is like...the OG OT7 fic. The one that EVERYONE should read. It’s so close to finishing and I’m kind of mind boggled that it’s going to finish. It’s just...perfection. Jimin is delightful and Yoongi is sweet, it’s just so perfect, I love it all. Namjoon is still a dick, sorry Steph. I also maintain that I’m secretly marrying Hoseok. Everyone go read it and strap yourselves in for a long ride!

Bump In The Night by @fortunexkookie

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: You’d spent countless nights terrified of the beast that lurked in the shadows, but as it would turn out, the monster haunting your home wasn’t a monster all. He was just a boy, and the only crime he’d ever committed was daring to love a girl from a different world.

; My Thoughts: Arrrrghhhhonaeouthnoetahnouenth this fic is just....perfect. I love it SO MUCH. Hoseok is a genuine monster in this, not just someone who thinks he is. He looks like a monster. But he’s a monster who gets a best friend in the reader and who slowly falls in love with her. I SWEAR MY HEART DIED WHEN THE THING HAPPENED :( Poor Hoseok, my sweet boy. But then...the end! And I was like ‘waaah’ I mean, I don’t know how she’s gonna live there but...I have hope for this odd couple because their love survived a lot <333

One Thing Right by @hobios

; Jungkook x Reader

; Synopsis: “i’ve been wrong about a million times, but i’ve got one thing right.”

or, desperate to get your ailing mother into the best care possible, you ask your childhood friend turned enemy to marry you for his health insurance benefits. the only problem is it’s illegal. and he’s the sheriff. and you swore to hate him since the day he broke your best friend’s heart.

; My Thoughts: Ahh...this is such a well written fic and I enjoy it so much. Jungkook has such good characterisation in it and you can feel that the readers heart is in the right place! I really like it and it reads so well, like it actually reads like a legitimate novel tbh!

Wall To Wall by @winetae

; Pornstar!Hoseok x Pornstar!Reader

; Synopsis: Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman. Your agent comes forward with a proposition to help put you back on the map.

; My Thoughts: Okay look...this fic is just great. I’m eagerly anticipating the second part because the first was just written so well. It’s so unique in that the readers already has a boyfriend, Jimin, who is not only okay with her being a pornstar but is the one who films her! But then you’ve got Hoseok, the new guy on the block who’s ridiculously good. The sex is just...it feels so realistic and like it’s two people in a relationship having sex and not just being filmed on camera. God I want them together lol

Club Zombie by @floralseokjin

; Seokjin x Reader

; Synopsis: In a world overrun by zombies, you’d think everyone was a goner, but the reality is much different. A steady diet of brains lets a zombie exist as a fully functioning human. Just ignore the part where they’re technically dead… In fact, these days, the amount of zombies outweigh the humans. A lot jump at the chance to be turned. Beg for it.

Kim Seokjin controls the underground of Seoul. No one would dare cross him. That’s how most of the world goes these days. You wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of a zombie now, would you? However, you don’t quite see it like that. Spending most nights dancing at the club he owns, you catch his eye. It’s never the wrong side if you’re underneath him, right…?

; My Thoughts: Look...I still can’t believe I read a fic with zombie sex and that I actively WANTED to read a fic with zombie sex lol. But disregarding that, it’s still phenomenally written and the world is built up so well! I loved reading this and it didn’t feel as long as it’s word count. The characters were interesting with little tidbits being thrown out there that made you a little more interested in their history.

Defining Heaven by @akinnie75

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: “If I try to fly, will I make it to heaven, or will I fall straight down? But what exactly is heaven?” It’s a question that’s been in Hoseok’s mind a lot after cutting ties with his parents and ending his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Dreaming is his fear, but you tell him that it’s not as scary as he thinks it is. Even in the depths of his own despair, you reach your hand out, but will he take it?

; My Thoughts: At this point, I think I just love anything by this author. But this fic was so...real and beautiful. The connection between two people who want more from life and deserve from life, who are both stuck. Hoseok’s story is heart breaking and getting to see him slowly come to life and learn to care for himself again was beautiful, while seeing the reader getting to care for herself by caring for him was just beautiful as well.

Florescence by @jincherie

; Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader x Hybrid!Seokjin

; Synopsis: Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin… You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but… maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

; My Thoughts: I love this story so much :333 it’s such an interesting twist on hybrid’s in that there are ones who get discarded because they’re ‘defective’. It’s horrible to think about and I just want to love both of them. Jin is so...sweet and he tries so hard, being the one to put himself out there with the reader because Taehyung is just a sweet and shy bub. Seeing them come to life slowly is so rewarding!

Moon Magic by @jincherie

; Merman!Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: You’ve never paid much mind to the moon, but you quickly learn that even though you’ve never really thought of the her, she has always watched over you. What better to heal an grieving heart, than the luminous, rippling magic of the moon? And maybe a merman, or two. You know, for good measure.

; My Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH AND I KNOW THAT YOU WROTE FOR ME AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I STILL LOVE IT. Hoseok is such a sweetheart and it’s adorable that you can see he’s falling in love much faster than she’s falling in love with him :333 the world is so realised, even though it’s just an island and everything is just...so perfect!

We Float by @lamourche

; Massage Therapist!Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: Might as well get this over with. You sigh and raise your hand to knock, steeling yourself for patchouli and shell necklaces. The door opens. A face peers out at you. There’s no beard, no long shaggy hair. For a moment, you wish he did walk around shirtless. He’s handsome. He’s taller than you, with brown hair that almost falls into his eyes and undercut on the sides. Warm brown eyes and a cute nose. It’s fucking cute his nose. He’s wearing cargo shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and white crocs. Well, that’s better. He’s still handsome and his kind eyes make you want to confess some prior sin, but it’s easy to scowl at a guy in white crocs.

; My Thoughts: This is still such a wonderful and beautiful fic. Hoseok’s agoraphobia is dealt with tactfully and he’s not magically cured by the end, but it’s so lovely to see that he’s willing to try and combat it a little more because he loves her. And she loves him, accepting him as he is and not pushing for more than he’s willing to give!

Tip 143 by @minflix

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: Even though he is everything you find attractive in a man, your friend and co-worker Jung Hoseok is just exactly that - a friend and co-worker. For some reason, you have never found yourself attracted to him even though all the girls and guys around you go absolutely crazy for him.But that all changes for you one night while scrolling through Heart2Heart, a sex live cam website…

; My Thoughts: AHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHH. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HOSEOK FICS ON THIS WHOLE SITE. It’s so wonderfully written and I adore reading it, even re-reading it. Hoseok is so funny and just...so light hearted. He’s not hugely bothered about anything and the way he goes along wtih the reader and even helps her to film her videos, even going so far as to...well going for her ;). And yet they both just think that they’re friends when nope, you’re idiots because you LOVE EACH OTHER. I genuinely love it so much, always a favourite and will remain close to my heart <333

See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix

; Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok

; Synopsis: You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

; My Thoughts: This couple...is perfect. I love them so much, they’re so well suited to each other. Rich brats who despite being rich and snobby, all genuinely love each other so much. Poor Namjoon when he felt like he’d been left out. <333 it’s okay Joonie, they both love you. I read this while I was in Korea and it just...made an impact. I want them all to live happily ever after with each other x-x

Euphoria by @btssavedmylifeblr

; Jungkook x Reader

; Synopsis: At the end of your life, you are given one day to live again with the man you loved. A lifetime’s love story told in a single day.

; My Thoughts: THIS IS THE SADDEST YET SWEETEST FIC EVER. Oh my god, it’s just...it’s so unbelievably bittersweet. Their love for each other and how she KNOWS that she’s dying and she’ll never see him again. How much she throws herself into the day with him and how much he clearly loves her. She knows they have their whole life set out for them and it’s just...wonderful...honestly.

Off The Deep End by @boymeetsweevil

; Merman!Yoongi x Reader

; Synopsis: Your new mermaid friend, Yoongi, helps you navigate the treacherous waters of love, sex, and National Geographic.

; My Thoughts: Ngl, the main thing I remember from this? It’s beautifully written and also fish dick lmao. But seriously, it’s a great fic to read and watching Yoongi get to experience the human world is a delight. It’s very unique in how it’s written and the biology and culture of merfolk. A definite recommendation for everyone!

#fic recs #fic recommendations #readyplayerhobi's fic recs #2019 fic recs

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delcat177 · 4 years ago

Text

Before New Pokemon Snap

While this game I have waited for for 22 years loads up, before I spend the night playing, I wanna tell tale of my time with the first one.

(The player’s guide is so nostalgic!)

Yon Longe Poste

I was interested in nature photography as a kid. And by interested, I mean kinda really obsessed. My father had been a journalist and had his own interest in nature photography, so after developing some skill on a little plastic snap camera, he did one of the few bond-y things we did when I was a kid and taught me how to use his old 33mm. It was a wonderful thing with a telephoto lens that I’d carry in a case around my neck, snap the lenses back and forth as needed on my daily field ramble.

Mom had commented on my patience with the snap deal, I would sit by the hummingbird feeder motionless for as long as it took to get shots, and a real field camera took it from the backyard to the woods. I could usually get birds and could always get some Pure Michigan nature, but I was constantly angling for animals--with 24 to 36 shots, depending on how I pooled my allowance, I spent a lot of time hunting for frogs, snakes, turtles, settling for butterflies and my dog. The one time the latter met a big touchy porcupine, I didn’t have my camera and was preoccupied with my poor be’needled boy, and when I went back, it was gone.

So, remembering a family story about how Mom had once found a porcupine chewing on the door because it was trying to get salt out of the wood, I requisitioned a piece of plywood my father promised was extra salty, took the shaker for good measure, and put it back where the needling had happened.

I haunted that spot all summer, but life isn’t as interesting as it can be, and porcupines are nocturnal. It wasn’t safe to be in the woods after dark, we had coyotes, so I took my solace in finding one day that it had, at least, been happily gnawed.

When I saw the first Nintendo Power previews of Pokemon Snap, I went “ah, yes, a blessing from the gods” and started work on a local Christmas cookie empire (different story entirely) to be ready for the release date. June was four months from my birthday and six from Christmas. I needed to be on LOCK.

And when I finally gave over my $63.59 (state tax was six cents) for this limited, low-poly, rail-ride of a game...

...I absolutely adored it like few things I have ever adored. The only thing missing was Oddish, and I was okay with that, kinda, I guess, if they had to.

I played nonstop. If I got bored with the ambience, which was rarely, I put on one of my sister’s CDs--RENT, usually.

Yes, I was listening to RENT at 12.

Until Mom heard La Vie Boheme.

At any rate, I got every last cent’s worth out of it. I filled my Pokedex. My last Pokemon, pulled from a sneak peak at a player’s guide in Wal-Mart, was Muk. I still have creepypasta/Pokegod theories about how Mewtwo was supposed to be in the game (why 63 Pokemon, not 64??). The Album, where you could save your pictures, let you write a few words on your faves, and I did my best to take funny snaps and caption them. The pun “Karp-E Diem” was used.

My skill increased. I learned how to stop the ride indefinitely at the Charmander section and played with them, throwing them apples and seeing how many consecutive heads I could bonk (I think my record was 7?). Then, with a tip in the NP letters session, I found out you could glitch the game by constantly changing direction in the kart, lagging it from moving, so that events timed to the movement went off early. This is the best way to get the most AMAZING shots of Pikachu riding Articuno without hacking, still.

It must have gone on for a year, at least, before I beat the game.

REALLY beat it.

Pokemon Snap is a limited game. Each Pokemon can have a maximum score assigned to it, a cap where it’s simply absolutely perfect in shot.

And for Mew, the highest-scoring Pokemon in the game and the only Pokemon on the last level, I was consistently getting 9900.

But that wasn’t quite right.

The thing is, Professor Oak reviews your shots and tells you exactly why you did or did not get each bonus. To get all bonuses on Mew, she needs to be in the right pose, (a sequence of item throws, easy), exactly in the center (again, easy) and exactly the right size.

The last part is worth 100 points exactly.

If I could have submitted every photo I had of Mew, I would have cleared it out easily and mindlessly. I would have gotten 10000 points, the only five-digit score in the game, somewhere in the 60 snaps I was allotted for the level. She was right in front of me, all I had to do was click-click-click.

But that’s not how the game worked, and this is where it shines. It’s also where I am very curious to see if it’s going to be the same.

Like I said, Pokemon Snap was a limited game. It’s notoriously difficult to emulate, because it uses some advanced jury-rigging of the N64′s capabilities to call and recognize a photo of a Pokemon. To streamline that, and presumably to allow for this precise experience, the player can only select one photo they took of a Pokemon to be reviewed per play.

I wasn’t just trying to catch the perfect shot.

I was trying to find it out of all the shots I took.

Over and over again, I went through the stage, snapped pictures, pored over my album, selected the single entry what I was sure was just right, went to judging. Over and over again, I heard Professor Oak go “whAt a PItY”, in sound byte form. The CDs became necessary to halt murder.

It took weeks. But one day, from sheer little-kid determination, I got my snap. I JITTERED hearing the “Just right!” byte, held my breath--

10,000 points.

The perfect score.

(This isn’t mine, of course, and also is a 9900--that foot is the real problem, so I’m glad to see I’m not alone)

It automatically saved to my best-score slot. I wish I had taken picture-pictures. I felt pride on a deep, genuine level that like my hummingbirds, I had at last gotten just the right moment, had just the right eye.

I’ve honestly been thinking a lot about my father lately. We didn’t have a great relationship when I was in the house with him, but...being a teenage “daughter” and being an adult son are two different things.

And it didn’t stop at Pokemon Snap. After being kicked out of an evangelical school, I started attending classes for high-schoolers at the community college, and Photography was my first. I ended up taking the class four times and passing it twice--I wasn’t bad at the subject, but rather had a hard time getting transportation to the college to do the course work. I had to withdraw the first and second times, pulled a C on the third, and took it one last time as I was graduating to shine up my GPA since I knew I had a reliable car and I could lock in the A.

My sister and my mom, maybe my dad all thought I might end up a wildlife photographer. I professed the interest, and unprofessed it once I started reading about how harsh locales are in that job. I suspected getting bugs up my nose in 110-degree heat wouldn’t be as fun as the idea sounded. Instead, I leaned toward my librarian interests, and now I’m sitting here developing games and writing.

If I could tell myself back then, before all of it, that photography would never make me a dime, would cost me all my allowance on film, would be one of the albatrosses of my college years, and that technology would make all of the practical experience I learned in development a moot point...

...we would both know it was worth every single moment, one moment at a time.

Hekk.

Maybe I should send Dad some photos.

so is it done installing yet

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pretend-writer · 4 years ago

Text

Down Below (Chapter 67)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2.6k words

Warning: mention of death, mention of violence, swearing

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

It was hard to believe in second chances after all I’ve done down at the bunker. Despite telling myself over the past few years that what I did was for Wonkru and to support Octavia, I knew in my heart that it was a shitty thing to do.

But here I stood next to Bellamy as we looked out the window of Eligius IV, staring at our possible new home that Monty researched for us all these years we were in cryo sleep.

‘Monty did all of this... for us...’ Bellamy mumbled to himself, looking at the new planet in awe. ‘This...’

‘This is amazing.’ The words slipped out of my mouth, enjoying the beautiful view we had from up this ship. Who would’ve known that Earth wasn’t the only livable place in the universe? By the way it seemed, the planet full of green life, it was habitable for humans. But we wouldn't know for sure until we get to the ground.

‘Yeah, I’m really excited actually. I don’t know a life outside this ship.’ Jordan grinned widely, ‘Also, it’s nice meeting you two finally. Monty and Harper talked a lot about you guys.’

It was crazy to think that Monty and Harper had a child, but it was more insane to think that they were both gone. Instead of going to cryo, they’ve decided to live the rest of their lives together.

They had their own family, finally had a life away from war and lived in peace. Now that I think about it, it sounded so beautiful. I knew that Monty and Harper were happy together, they deserved all of that and more.

‘Y/N, before I log off from my final video...’ Monty smiled through the camera, ‘I want to thank you for taking care of Jasper. I always wonder if I tried hard enough, he’d still be with us today. Because of everything you’ve done for him, I know that all that happened at the bunker wasn’t the real you, I truly believe that. Even though you did scare me.’

‘Throughout the times from when we landed on Earth to now, you’ve always done what’s best for everyone. That’s all that matters in the end. I hope that on this planet, we can all do better and look out for each other.’ Monty smiled one last time, ‘I believe in you guys. May we meet again.’

‘May we meet again.’ Bellamy and I whispered as Monty logged out of the video. The tears streamed down my face, not being able to process that Monty wasn't with us anymore.

He was the one that gave me hope; after dealing with Mount Weather, Monty was the one that made me realize that I had to push through to be an asset again. He pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I'd ever leave. He even realize that Skafaiya had changed, that I was being better.

If it wasn't for him, reassuring that I can do better I would of never realized what I've become and all that bad that I've done. I should be thanking him for that, I wish I thanked him before we parted ways.

'Who else should I wake up?' Jordan asked sweetly. 'My dad programmed cryo to wake us up but not the others.'

My dad. Wow I could never get used to that, I thought to myself. I wish I was able to congratulate Monty and Harper, except it happened a hundred years ago.

'We can't wake everyone, it'll be chaotic. We can get the people who can go down and help us search around. Starting with Shaw, the pilot.' Bellamy nodded, he turned to me and flashed a smile.

I shrugged, not really in the mood to talk to him. After what Raven had told me about Bellamy and Echo, I didn't know if I was able to stand him. 'Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.'

'You okay, Reyes?' Bellamy reached for me to hold his hand, except I took a step back. He cocked his head, confused. Last time I saw him, we were in good terms and wanted to start over again. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' I avoided his eye contact as I left the room. Bellamy followed me into the cryo room, not saying a word as he tried to give me space.

I'd rather not wait and instead, tell him the whole truth about what I knew about The Ring. The problem was the fact that he was acting as if nothing happened, as if he didn't kiss another girl while he was in space. Bellamy made me feel bad about the bunker when the fact was that he was hiding things from his at-the-time girlfriend.

As I worked the cryo machine, I woke up the people we needed to venture down with on the new planet. Each person popped out of cryo, slowly waking up as if they were just taking a short nap.

'No, not her.' Bellamy rested his hand on mine, stopping me from pressing the button. 'We can't wake Octavia up.'

'Why not? Are you still scared of her?'

'If someone is already living on this planet, we don't want Blodreina fucking everything up.'

'Well, if someone is actually down there and if they happen to be savages, don't we need someone who can fight?' Murphy walked towards us, giving me a hug from the side. 'Just saying.'

Bellamy rolled his eyes, didn't know if it was from John being close to me or the fact that he was told what to do about his sister. 'I'm not taking that risk. I'm sure we will be fine ourselves.'

'Alright, you're the boss.' John dropped the conversation, quickly turning to me. 'Can I talk to you, Y/N?'

'Yeah, of course.' I nodded, smiling at him before he walked away.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Bellamy staring at me. I could tell that he was confused, maybe a bit jealous too. With all that's happened, I didn't know whether to feel bad or let him be. Either way, I left the room.

Following Murphy out of the cryo room, he led me to the hallway. 'I missed you. Even though it feels like I just saw you 10 minutes ago.'

I giggled, feeling butterflies like I did when I kissed him before we headed to cryo sleep. 'To be fair, it's been over hundred years.'

'And yet, your shot wound hasn't healed.' John pointed at my leg, 'Saw you limping earlier.'

'Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm always fine.' I smiled. Wanting to get everything out the way, I decided to talk to him about the obvious topic we had to discuss. 'I haven't told Bellamy by the way.'

He nodded, 'I figured. It's okay, there's no need to rush it.'

'But I feel bad, I don't want it to be a secret or anything.'

'Don't feel bad because whatever we have, it's worth it. I don't mind the mystery either. Besides, sneaking around is kind of a turn on.'

This feeling I had for him felt so right, so nostalgic; felt way better than feeling pressured by Bellamy to be different and to feel bad about who I was. I didn't have to pretend with John, we knew each other majority of our lives and he understood what I've been through.

What I didn't understand was why all this time, Bellamy guilted me about the years I spent in the bunker when he had secrets he was keeping from me.

Jackson suddenly rushed towards me and Murphy, looking at me as if he was very stressed. 'Jackson, what's wrong?'

'We're prepping Kane for surgery. He's awake and somewhat stable for now but-' He paused, I could tell he was scared of my reaction.

'What?'

'Kane wants to see you.'

My heart dropped, not expecting to see Marcus at all. Last time I saw him, he was unconscious and when I spoke my final words to him back at Polis, I said some pretty mean stuff.

'Can I just see him after surgery?'

'Bellamy is preparing with Clarke to go check out the new planet and he told me you're going with. Also with Kane's condition, we're afraid he might not make it.'

'You should go see him, Y/N.' John tapped my arm, 'I can come with you if you'd like.'

Marcus' condition? How bad was his injuries? I knew that one of Abby's patients attacked him but I didn't know it was this critical. No matter how much pain he brought me after all the betrayals, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

'I'll be okay.' I faked a smile to John, but instantly he knew I was lying.

He didn't push it though, instead he nodded in return. 'Let me know if you need me.'

'Thank you, John.' I said before I followed Jackson into a room. Raven, Abby and Bellamy looked up as the door opened for Jackson and I.

'What is she doing here?' Abby growled, staring at me as if I came to kill Marcus myself. 'She's going to trigger him and make his condition worse than it already is.'

'Kane personally asked for her. I think he has a right to see her, Abby.' Jackson replied back, 'We should give them some privacy.'

Raven nodded, 'I agree. We'll be right outside if you need us Y/N.'

'Thanks.' Raven and Jackson left the room, Abby still glaring at me as she stood next to Kane laying on the bed.

'I'm not going anywhere Y/N. I don't trust you for-'

'It's okay Abby. Give us some space, I need to speak to her.' Marcus spoke up, putting his hand on hers. 'We will be fine.'

Abby huffed as she headed to the door. 'If anything happens to him, it's on you.'

Bellamy looked at me with sad eyes, I guess he understood my situation with me and Marcus after I told him before he got into the fighting pit; sorry flushed across his face.

He reached for my hand but I quickly swept it away, I didn't even mean to do it. 'I-I want to be alone with him if that's okay, Bellamy?'

'Ah. Sure.' Bellamy whispered, scratching his temple as he left the room.

I slowly walked over to Marcus' bed, holding my breath. I didn't know what to say or what to feel after everything that had happened.

'How are you?' He whispered, not being able to speak loudly. The patient had stabbed Marcus on his neck, causing him to lose a lot of blood.

'I should be the one asking you that.' The bloody bandage on his neck scared me a little, I've never seen him so helpless.

'Physically, I can tolerate this pain but emotionally I'm not okay.' Marcus' voice cracked, 'I'm sorry for what I did to you.'

'What are you sorry about exactly?' I didn't mean to sound petty, I genuinely needed to know if I was ready to forgive him. It hurt that someone I love so much turned his back on me, but it was hard to keep hating him also.

Marcus paused, carefully turning his head toward me. His eyes started to water and he lightly whimpered. 'About everything, monkey.'

I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold my tears in. It made me feel sad for him, but for what? He betrayed me not once but twice; The first time in the bunker after he never believed that Abby blackmailed me and when he turned against Wonkru to work with Diyoza.

His betrayal made me angry but it made me even more upset at myself for still caring for him. Just like he told me at the fighting pit, I tried to stop him for a reason. And that reason was that no matter how much pain he put me through, I cared for him.

'You know, Octavia came to me and told me what happened when the Dark Year began. That Abby had told you to shoot those people. I didn't want to believe that someone I love did those things to you. I also couldn't believe what I saw when you shot and killed Wonkru.'

'But you chose her over me, even when I came up to you about Abby. All those years you took her side and left me in the dark, made it mine and Octavia's fault that the Dark Year happened.'

'I know... I know...' He breathed, 'I just didn't want to admit that Abby would do that. I saw what you did and I didn't wanted to believe that she was behind all of this.'

'So you were okay with blaming me and not her?'

'No, I wasn't. Not at all.' Marcus held his breath, gently wiping his tears that were streaming down his face. 'I was confused, I felt like everything was falling apart. I chose the easy way out, turned you into an enemy. I never even considered how you felt at all.'

It made me mad, knowing that he knew he was wrong for blaming everything on me. All I wanted was a hug, an "I love you" or just any support from him. 'You made my life a living hell.'

'I know Y/N, I know.' He reached for my hand, his hand shaking from weakness. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

Leaning in closer to him, I felt his touch on my cheek. It's been a long time since I've been this close to Marcus. 'I was just a kid, I was scared what Abby was going to do to Octavia. She had a gun... and I knew her drug problems and I-'

'I'm sorry, Y/N.' Kane sobbed, caressing my cheek. 'I'm sorry.'

Gently and carefully, I wrapped my arms around Marcus. Making sure not to put my whole weight on him, I hugged him as I buried my face into his chest. Tears fell down my eyes, staining Marcus' shirt with tears which added to the blood stains from his injuries.

'I just wanted you to believe me, that's all I wanted.'

'I'm sorry.' Marcus repeated over and over again. 'I'm proud of you okay? For overcoming this without me, without Bellamy or your sister.'

'Octavia was with me. She helped me through everything.'

'Oh, baby.' He shook his head, holding me tightly as he can with all the strength he had left in him. 'Why did I do this to you again? I told myself after what happened at the Ark, I wouldn't ever do anything to lose you again... Why... why?'

Even though I hated that he took Abby's side, it must've been hard for him to see her in that way. I can never justify or maybe even forgive him when he turned his back on me but I can understand the confusion he must of had.

Everyone knows I was not innocent in this at all. Not at all, not even close.

'Thank you, for apologizing.' I mumbled into his chest, hugging him a little bit longer.

'No, thank you for even coming to talk to me.'

Taking a deep breath, I recollected all my thoughts. I tried to wipe my tears off of his shirt but it all sank in. 'Sorry your shirt is wet now.'

Marcus laughed lightly, shaking his head. 'Don't worry about it. I need a new one anyway.'

Placing my hand on his cheek, I wiped his tears. 'Don't leave me again.'

'I'll try not to.'

'No, promise me you won't. You can't leave me again. Not after all that's happened.'

He looked at me, smiled as he nodded. 'Okay. I promise Y/N.'

Nodding in return, I gave him a kiss on his forehead. 'For good luck.'

'Thank you, monkey.'

'May we meet again.'

Marcus smiled once again, 'I'll see you soon kiddo.'

#bellamy blake x reader #the 100 rewrite #the 100 series #down below series #bellamy blake series #raven reyes x sister!reader #the 100 fic #bellamy blake

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marzipanandminutiae · 5 years ago

Note

Thoughts on your ex(es)?

Ex #1: first of two boyfriends. He was an ass, but we were 12-13 and most kids are asses at that age. That being said, groping me in a movie theatre, dumping me when I wasn’t into it, claiming it was actually because I wouldn’t join World of Warcraft, and leading all of his friends in a bullying campaign against me for a year and a half was probably going too far.

Also he tried to get back with me when I was dating his best friend’s cousin. AKA...

Ex #2: Second and final boyfriend. As I said, he was my first BF’s best friend’s cousin. Total sweetheart. Genuninely liked me as a person, respected my boundaries, even brought me back presents whenever he travelled. I met a girl at summer camp in the middle of our relationship and, I’m a bit ashamed to say, emotionally cheated on him with her. I was 14 and living in the south and terrified of how people would react to me not being straight- that’s not a justification, just an explanation.

Eventually, I came out to my mom, who told me that I could never tell him I was in love with a girl. She said it would “hurt his male ego” and get out in the community, causing my dad to lose his job. My dad actually worked for a pretty progressive company, but I was too scared to realize that. So I kept on like that for months, until I finally got the courage to break up with him.

I never told him why, not even when we reconnected a bit at a summer internship years later. I really regret that. He deserved to know that it wasn’t his fault, and I doubt he would have taken it as badly as I worried. We lost touch again, but I hope he’s doing well wherever he is.

Ex #3: Summer Camp Girl. This was a beautiful, overly dramatic teenage garbage fire of a relationship. We swore undying love and planned to get married someday. We also never actually saw each other in person after summer camp. She lived in South Carolina and I lived in Tennessee, and we never got around to visiting.

I can’t regret what happened because it taught me what I’d been missing. But the ex herself was a borderline-sociopathic jerk, of the “beautiful and charismatic and utterly self-absorbed” variety. I agreed to an open relationship as long as I was her primary and we’d be monogamous someday. Big mistake.

Six months of increasing neglect later, she dumped me for the boy she said she’d secretly made her primary ages ago. I was absolutely destroyed and didn’t get over her for another two years.

We talked again about four years back. Turns out she’s poly and, instead of open honest communication, figured that out over years of relentless, remorseless cheating (my phrasing, not hers). She contacted me because she needed closure over what she’d done, and managed to make the “apology” all about her and her own emotional needs.

If this sounds like someone you’re dating, followers, and she’s a redhead from SC whose initials are S.I., RUN.

Ex #4: Follows me on here, actually. We’re still friends. Hi, if you’re reading this!

Probably the healthiest relationship I’ve been in to date. We met on FanFiction.net and dated long-distance for about three years. It wasn’t without problems, but she really loved me and made me feel appreciated. And we actually managed to visit once, which was amazing, though our feelings for each other had started to wane by that point.

I learned some lessons this time around about idealizing people, especially when I’m far away from them. genuinely loved her, for sure, but I also think I might have projected a bit of my dream partner onto her at times. Also, the whole “you’re Character A to my Character B” thing? Yeah, be wary of that. Don’t take it too seriously. Because neither of you are really those characters; you’re yourselves, and projecting too much can skew your perception of the other person. And even yourself.

We broke up by mutual agreement and decided to stay friends. There was a rough patch right after the breakup for other reasons, but we ultimately worked things out. Now she has a girlfriend who seems really great, and I’m glad to see her so happy. All’s well that ends well. We periodically text each other in all caps about Defunctland videos and Swan Queen.

#ask #anon #long post #ask meme #ask game #personal #groping mention #thoughts on

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slasherscream · 6 years ago

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poly billy and stu celebrating holidays with their s/o?? from birthdays (theirs) valentine's day, christmas, etc love your blog sm!! it's my favourite 🤩🤩

A/N: anon this is such a cute idea thank you for sending it in.

billy loomis x reader x stu macher

——————–

Let’s start with the top’s birthday. So Billy? He is an iconic mix of bitch and bastard. Meaning that he is absolutely pretending to hate his birthday. Or at least is exaggerating on the point of how much he wants “everyone” to forget about it. Because … and I mean this ….god help you if Stu and you ever forget or listen to him when he says “don’t do anything”. It would be a fucking nightmare of which you would never wake if you both did this.

Luckily Stu already made this mistake one year before y'all were all together and he knows. The first year you’re together Billy is going through his regular shtick of bullshit. You pull Stu aside privately later and ask, “so are we doing anything for his birthday or are we listening to Billy.”

Stu gets….the most distant far-off look in his eyes. Like he’s a man that’s come back from war and just got drafted again. He’s never grabbed your shoulders harsher, “We have to do something he’s lying.“

So you do something. The good part about Billy’s birthday is he’s actually not hard to please. Start the day off right with an acknowledgement. So you do a movie night the day before. This way when midnight hits you can pause Halloween and he will almost start yelling at you before you guys whip out obnoxious colored party-horns and start trying to blow them to the beat of Happy Birthday. He is rolling his eyes but deeply pleased as he was already contemplating ….revenge of some sort at 11:55 (please god make Billy chill out for one day).

He is not lying about not wanting anything big though. He really only wants to celebrate with you and Stu. Don’t throw him a party. He won’t be mad per-say but he won’t be like pumped or anything. Will end the party early or will make you and Stu sneak off with him. This is #His Day and the focus will be #On Him.

His Mom used to make him a cake every year and Stu, as his life-long best friend (and now boyfriend), totally remembers the tradition. He's just not capable of baking or cooking. But he tells you and hopes you can do it and you can (if you're bad at baking too let's just imagine with you and Stu both working hard you can...achieve....something). Surprising Billy with the cake would make him feel #Soft.

Honestly he's spending the whole day acting tough and pretending he barely wants to do anything but?? He loves it and loves that you're both 100% focused on him and making him happy. He's just a brat. But ignore him while he's scoffing about you guys both kissing his cheeks at the same time he's having the time of his life. He just wants to cuddle and watch movies and for no one to go anywhere.

If you want to go Big for Him one year or something the best thing you could do is put Rich Boy Stu's money to good use and get him autographed shit from Horror Icons. Or original props from movies. He'll lose his fuCKING MIND. Finally breaks his lame "cool guy" act for 0.5 seconds.

Stu doesn't play hard to get and he doesn't play mind-games (with you and Billy, that is). Y'all know damn well he wants a big fuss made about his special day. He also wants a big party. It's super easy to make him happy on his birthday if you just remember that unlike Billy he wants this to be as over the top as fucking possible.

Wake him up with breakfast in bed screaming happy birthday at the top of your lungs and he jumps up like a kid on Christmas Morning. Yes....this is #His Day....pay attention to HIM.

Give him lots of presents! He's easy to buy for! New clothes. Stupid jewelry. Horror shit. New voice changer box. He just likes receiving gifts. They don't have to be expensive ...just have him open a lot of packages and he'll love it.

Do a surprise birthday party. It's not a surprise in any way at all but watching his face light up when he walks into his fucking house at the end of the day and half the highschool pops out like "surprise!!" is so fucking worth all the hassle that you and Billy have to smile at each other.

Billy has thrown him parties before but they're more of just...huge get-together’s. Like highschool(TM) parties where you're too cool to decorate. You? Not a pussy. You deck out the whole house and Stu loses his fucking mind. Knows you are the cause of this and kisses the shit out of you. Dips you and everything. Billy is protesting because, "Hey I blew up half these fucking balloons" ...don't be a piss baby it'll be your turn in like thirty seconds.

Fourth of July?? Stu has the most illegal fireworks he could get his hands on so they’re. …. pretty illegal. They’re the asshole neighbors that set them off like weeks before the 4th and if you weren't fucking them you'd want their heads on a platter. As is? Eh.....you're fucking them so I guess this is the neighbor's problems- They always forgive because Stu's family throws the greatest fucking barbecues day of.

St. Patrick's Day? Time to get fucking WASTED. You are wearing green aggressively because the one year you didn't Stu pinched your ass all day long. Even Billy joined in when he saw how feisty and annoyed it was making you. Stu is still doing it but you...tried at least, RIP. It's the tradition now.

Valentine's Day?? billy vc: love is a neurochemical con job. But don't worry Stu will not allow him to be a bastard about the day because he's affectionate and loving. Stu knows how to celebrate the day perfectly. This is his time to shine! The Most Obnoxious Boyfriend. Everyone else is jealous. Flowers? Delivered in the middle of class. Huge chocolate box that is also #Expensive? Have fun putting that in your locker (he's sweet so he's actually gonna put it in his car for you once you've had a few)! Would pay the Band Kids to Follow Billy and s/o around MOSTLY to annoy Billy but also to be cute. They're playing the fucking .... they're playing this. Billy is so angry but..... like.... his inner possessive loves being made a fuss over publicly so whatever. Maybe he won't kill the band kids for this. You're not an ungrateful cretin so you clap and laugh.

Billy does get Stu a gift ...something not really...Valentine's Day-esque but something he'll like. Like a horror-themed bong (i'm so sorry y'all this man obviously is smoking weed). You wrap it in pink, heart themed paper for him which he didn't know you were going to do and he is going to get you for that ...later...in the bedroom. But Stu loved it so whatever.

You? At the exact same time you and Stu present each other teddy bears. His teddy for you? Cute and fucking...Huge. Yours?? Fucking horror themed.. made to be gore-y and bloody looking. He gasps, obviously touched, "Babe!". Gonna get made out with so hard.... How are you so cute and funny? He loves you!! It sits proudly on his dresser.

What do you get Billy?? He really does dislike the Holiday because he thinks people who use this as the day to show they half-ass care about their s/o one day a year deserve death and despair. He will give them that death and despair. So what to give him then?

Stu pretended to be too busy planning for Valentine's Day to plan any murders with him which pissed Billy off even more the week prior. He was busy planning Valentine's Day. He was planning the Normal one they'd have with you and the more private, bloody one they'd have later that night killing couples together. Icing on cake? You pitched in by helping Stu plan it and by picking out new knives for them to use during. They're #Pink in a way that is obnoxious but the quality is amazing and you say, "it's your Valentine's Day knives!!! Just to use on Valentine's every year. Do you like them?" billy choked up: it's fucking .... alright

Got em'! The only way you can make the night better is letting Stu and Billy have sex with you when they get home. They're high off the kill rush and Billy is pleasantly-surprised that Stu did a really good job of planning everything alone. They're covered in blood and feeling love-dovey. Let's all do heavy eye-contact missionary tonight

April Fools is a mess and it leaves all of y'all mad at each other for a solid fucking week. Everybody gets got. Nobody can trust one another. Nobody should.

Thanksgiving is not a happy time for Billy. He doesn't like spending it with his Dad because while he's ...so good at misdirecting or #Avoiding Things He Doesn't Want To Deal With it gets very hard at this time of year to not get mad at his Dad. He's for some reason never going to hurt his Dad who he could easily blame for his Mom leaving?? But he won't. Though he's very angry during this time of the year. His Dad will try to do anything and he just shuts himself in his room. Doesn't even wanna go to Stu's house or your house. It would just make him feel .... weird, upset, like he's intruding... jealous, even. It's kinda sad. He won't even pick up your calls that day. You and Stu don't even have to sneak into the house. Billy's Dad quietly let's you in and you go upstairs and just hold him together. It's a solemn holiday because it's like the start of reminding Billy about his Mother abandoning him.

Christmas goes kinda the same way tbh but he's ....trying to make an effort to not be as big of a bummer since Christmas is a little more significant than Thanksgiving. He knows you and Stu actually enjoy the holiday season. He tries to distance himself in general during this time because he just doesn't know how to be anything else. It's actually kinda sad because most of Billy's emotions if they're negative wind up manifesting as anger but he's genuinely depressed as shit.

Things are different when you all move in together because now he's also not trying to spend the holidays with the literal reminder of why his life sucks (his cheating ass daddy). Plus you and Stu are determined to give him new Holiday experiences to replace the ones that make him feel so shitty with nostalgia. He's grumpy the first Christmas you guys spend together after you're living alone but not angry the way he's been at Christmas times' past. Improvement.

The Christmas after that? Doesn't cringe once seasonal music starts playing in stores. Ghostface killings get a little less violent and frequent (he's not using them to cope as soon as it gets cold). Getting better. The Christmas after that?? You can get him to help you decorate. He helps you and Stu with the tree. He makes cookies with you. You watch horror themed Christmas movies and some regular ones (you cannot be a movie tyrant during the holidays, billy-). Christmas after that? You all send out a "family" Christmas card. You and Stu are in ridiculous sweaters and Billy is in one of solid red but he's wearing a Santa hat. His arms are crossed but there's the slightest smile on his face. You each have an arm around him. You all look happy together.

Now ..... for the big one: Halloween. Thought I skipped it? Hah! Best for last. This is their happiest time of year. They are so ready for this shit you have no idea. It's disgusting how ready they are. It turns October and Stu drops this video in your three person chat. Billy replies with a devil emoji. Disgusting?? You know you're in for a chore of keeping them in line for a whole fucking month. They will be doing MISCHIEF. They will be doing SHENANIGANS. Both MURDER and OTHERWISE. They're teepeeing houses. Cars. They're stealing candy from kids like dicks probably. Or laughing at people who are doing this. They keep the kills to Halloween night though. A whole month of just planning so they can do something big and terrible. You have to be looking after them extra during this time because they're so excited they are ...not ...doing that. you: you guys please drink some water i haven't seen you move in hours billy and stu: billy: holy shit it's been- stu: babe please make us something to eat we haven't had anything since yesterday :((((

Fucking dumb idiot disease. If you're living together?? God help you, you used to only have to see them get hype as fuck. Now? You must experience it 24/7. Halloween prep starts emotionally? Once summer ends. They want to deck out the house to the nines and you’re just gonna have to piss now staring at/being aware of the over-sized plastic spider Stu put on the back of the toilet.

Everything is spooky. Cobwebs everywhere. Black! Orange! Pumpkins! Outside decorations that are actually scary as shit. They're the haunted house on the street that gets #Talked About. They're gonna go murder the shit outta people later but early in the night?? The kids that manage to walk up to the house?? Get fucking...the Mother-load of all candy. The brave little bastard dressed as a ballerina-fairy-princess?? Fist-bump. Billy does not much like kids but all the kids who get to his door? You deserve this. Full-sized chocolate bars and bags of candy. Maybe even a dollar or two. Stu is actually great with kids and is the nice one who guesses all of their costumes. Somehow can guess the weird ones accurately?

Once that part of the night is over they go out and just wreak total fucking havoc. Halloween in Woodsboro is a nightmare. They're having fun at least! This is their Christmas and they love it. Babe babe don't wait up. They tell you as if you couldn't fucking guess?? They're not home till the wee hours of the morning and they're dead-exhausted but they had the time of their lives.

——————–

#billy loomis x reader x stu macher #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #billy loomis imagine #stu macher imagine #slasher x reader #horror imagine #thaaaank you for the request and the sweet words #stu you motherfucker...to be.....using fireworks in ca but he only has one braincell #y'all: did she leave halloween for last because it's their favorite??#me .....dead ass having forgot the holiday known as halloween while i run a slasher blog: uh....yeah

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ellerevelle · 5 years ago

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okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order:

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home.

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy.

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh.

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead.

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her.

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me.

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it.

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face.

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked!

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many,

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon.

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise.

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to.

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else.

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE!

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love.

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer.

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane.

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat.

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories.

I only like my own brand of cigarettes.

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid.

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc.

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam.

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post.

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something.

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy.

No, I have become recently lazy.

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

#depression!

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart.

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE.

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but.

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened.

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life.

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out.

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner.

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run.

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh.

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin.

I need a job.

#fml

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makeste · 6 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 032: Round 1 Brackets

Previously on BnHA: Shouto told Deku about his tragic past of being abused by his shitty parents. Unbeknownst to them, Kacchan was secretly listening in. Shouto basically figured out that All Might is Deku’s dad, but let it slide. Deku declared war on Shouto, but this being a shounen manga, it actually just means they’re friends for life now. Endeavor was cancelled. Mineta was cancelled, again. The final event of the festival was announced, and it’s a good old-fashioned tournament bracket, so I am loving life right now.

Today on BnHA: Ojiro and another dude drop out of the tournament due to having been mind-controlled by Shinsou in the previous round. The round one matchups are announced. Deku finds himself facing off with Shinsou right off the bat. Ojiro warns Deku not to do anything stupid and get himself mind-controlled. The match begins. Deku immediately does something stupid and gets himself mind-controlled.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 68 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

I should be in bed but here I am!! come to see who’s paired up against whom for round one of the tournament!

Ojiro, I think I’ve been misspelling your name as “Ojuro” on several occasions. good thing I don’t think I’ve posted any of those recaps yet lol

(ETA: I had indeed misspelled it, and I went back and changed them all, so basically I almost got away with it, and now here I am calling my own self out. smh)

look at Ojiro and his solid beefy tail

there’s not really much to this guy so far

I can’t believe he made it to the third event honestly

he has problems with sitting. sucks, my friend

on to the chapter!

...am I to understand that we were this close to having everyone fight each other with foam swords, then?

I can’t fucking believe all we got was a stupid tournament

THE MATCHES WILL BE DECIDED BY ~RANDOM LOTS~ ONCE AGAIN

all I know is that Shouto will make it to the finals and fight either Kacchan or Deku, probably Deku

disclaimer: I don’t actually know, I’m just running my mouth

do we really have to sit through some other random activity before the main event

OH!!! TWIST!!!

Ojiro is dropping out?? why

GASP

he says he doesn’t remember anything about the cavalry battle at all. fucking knew it. MIND CONTROL

so he feels like he didn’t earn his place

in reality his quirk is just too boring to make for an interesting one-on-one fight. he’s better suited to background action. no offense Ojiro, I’m just being 100% real here, son

the girls are trying to convince him to stick around, but he says it’s a matter of pride. eh, if it were me I’d stay in the game and try to get back at the mind control guy during the tournament, but eh. he seems kind of shaken up, honestly, so maybe this is better for him in the end.

aww. Ojiro. looks like you need a hug, buddy. why does everyone in this fucking arc need a hug

just to keep things even, this little roly poly from class B is withdrawing too

godspeed, little man

Midnight’s like, eh whatever

doesn’t this fuck up the brackets, though? now they have 7 and 7. does someone get a bye in round one then? I guess they can determine that with the random lots too. hopefully whoever gets the byes won’t suddenly get all noble like these two idiots

oh, we’re not going to do byes but we’re going to replace the two that didn’t make it

YEAH GIVE IT TO STEEL RYOHEI AND POISON IVY

WOOHOO. SORRY OJIRO BUT THIS IS MUCH BETTER

TIME TO SCAN THE BRACKETS TO FIND MY SONS

BAKUGOU’S FIGHTING OCHAKO??? NOOOOOOOOOO

fuck this means one of my favorites will be eliminated right off the bat

lmao Kiri and Tetsu got matched up right from the get go

damn, Momo has to go up against Tokoyami. that one’s gonna be good

no idea who Aoyama is fighting

(ETA: lmao it was Mina. for some reason I hadn’t processed her last name)

Iida’s going up against Mei. good luck Iida

Kami vs Shiozaki... I think that must be the Poison Ivy chick? interesting

Todoroki vs Sero... nice knowing you Sero

and lastly... DEKU VS MIND CONTROL MAN

oh my god. can we, uh. just skip ahead to that one. !!!!!

also, Deku and Todoroki out here fucking up my predictions right from the start. the two of you had to be in the same bracket half. just had to be

wonder who’ll end up winning it all and facing off against my girl Ochako :’D

lol I can dream

this guy has “future villain” written all over him tbh

(ETA: I should just stop assuming that new characters are going to be villains. I don’t think I’ve been right about a single one yet.)

I assume the only reason he didn’t make it into the hero course is because he couldn’t use his mind control against the robots. sure, he could have possessed his fellow examinees instead, but they probably would have retained any points that they “earned” under his control

I wonder if the bags under his eyes are just a character design thing or if they actually reflect something about his character/personality/quirk. like is he an insomniac or something

he must have to do something in order to control people, right? maybe don’t let him touch you at any point, Deku

Ojiro’s warning him not to talk to him. I wonder if it’s less mind control and more hypnosis, in which case maybe if Deku blocks his ears or something... idk

lmao Bakugou literally has no idea who he’s fighting

Ochako knows though, oh damn

I believe in you!! but be careful though orz

“are you Iida?” “indeed I am Iida.” take it easy on this middle aged bloke, okay Mei

oh good, we’re skipping all of this

hopefully even the anime will skip it, since BnHA doesn’t seem to believe in fillers and time-wasting!

LOOK AT IIDA CHUG THAT OJ

GET THAT VITAMIN C BOI

also Ojiro appears to be talking to Deku, and Deku looks like he’s mildly freaking out. is he freaking out because OH NO TOURNAMENT, or because Ojiro is telling him what Shinsou can do? given how well he’s managed with the first two events, I’m guessing it’s the latter, or else he wouldn’t be looking so disturbed

okay I actually do like this picture of the girls cheerleading though

just because Hagakure, Mina, and Ochako look really into it, and Momo and Jirou are just like, blargh. and Tsuyu is an enigma to me

TOURNAMENT TIME

Cementoss is building the ring for them all!

wow it looks really good

I wouldn’t quite say they’ve been through “hell”... actually it was a lot less hellish than I thought it would be

is Deku in the first round? I guess they go from left to right

ALL MIGHT CAME TO GIVE HIM A PEP TALK YAAAAAY

he’s giving Deku a thumbs up and says he’s finally getting the hang of One for All

Deku says he still has trouble controlling it and it makes him nervous, like one false step could still fuck him up

well good. narratively, I like this level of control. it keeps each move risky, but also doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll end up incapacitated at the drop of a hat

wow. All Might says that right now Deku can only handle 5 percent of One for All’s true power

you know we’re getting into some real shounen shit when we start talking about power percentages

Deku says he’s just gotten lucky with everything so far, and All Might’s response may just be his most dadlike behavior yet

I love it. the awkward pat on the back (head? shoulder?). the affectionate nickname. and the genuine compliment, because you know All Might admires the shit out of Deku’s hard work ethic

and he’s telling him to smile, especially when he’s feeling nervous or scared. because you’re a big damn hero, Deku! you got this my man!

here we goooooo

not even Present Mic the mighty chatterbox can think of anything to say about Shinsou. bang-up observation about Izuku’s weird face, though

so now the question is, does Deku know about Shinsou’s quirk or not?

typical tournament rules: knock your opponent out of the ring, immobilize them, or make them cry uncle

yikes, they’ve got Recovery Girl on standby for this one. well at least they’re taking things seriously. but that means shit’s about to get lit the fuck up

“fight dirty if you must” how fucking heroic. I guess that’s the part where they test everyone’s willingness to get into the nitty-gritty huh

although they do say that going for the kill is frowned upon, and Cementoss will supposedly stop you (uh huh. just like All Might was going to “stop” Bakugou in chapters 9 and 10, I assume)

oh shit. this means Shinsou can win just by making Deku say that he quits... I think that’s what this is hinting at:

(ETA: I actually don’t know why he didn’t just have Deku say “I give up” rather than making him walk out of the ring. maybe he can’t control speech? but at any rate, on my reread I realized just how sneaky Shinsou is being here by trying to get Deku to answer him before the match has even started.)

Deku he called poor Ojiro a monkey. punch him in the face please

Deku’s making a face at that

and he’s charging in!!

-- uh oh

WHAT’S FUCKING HAPPENING DAMMIT

and Ojiro’s saying that he warned him

shit. Deku looks like he’s completely under his control already

aaaaaand the chapter ends

well shit

BONUS:

this girl looks exactly like Matsuoka Gou from Free!. it’s fucking uncanny

like I seriously want to get a picture and compare them side by side

you know what, never mind though, because while I was combing through google image search for a good pic, I kept getting distracted by pictures of Rin. why is he so pretty

what the hell was I doing again

oh yeah

anyways so Kendou here is apparently the class representative from class B. good for you girl. I wonder what her quirk is

there’s not much else to her aside from her being a motorcycle-loving coffee-drinking class rep who looks like Gou lol

but I hope we’ll get to see more of her

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #ojiro mashirao #midoriya izuku #all might #shinsou hitoshi #after rereading this chapter I have to say #iida and the oj may honestly be my favorite part of the whole thing #I don't know what it is about that panel but it just delights me

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fangirlingforbellarke · 7 years ago

Text

Clarke’s the Man Chapter 1

Summary: Clarke Griffin is in a real jam. Complications threaten her scheme to pose as her cousin, Finn Collins, and take his place at a new boarding school. She falls in love with her handsome roommate, Bellamy Blake, who loves beautiful Raven, who has fallen for Clarke as Finn! The Bellarke remake of She’s the Man.

I've been toying around with this idea for forever it seems like. I finally sat down and started writing. I'm not sure if this is an AU people would be interested in reading as I can't say I've seen many versions of this done before. If I get enough people that are interested in seeing more, I shall continue the story! I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether or not you’d like to read more!

You can also find this on AO3

There were a lot of things Clarke was expecting when she stepped onto the field. It was supposed to be the first day of practice, and as the captain of the girl’s team, Clarke was expecting to help the new girls on the team find their groove and make them feel like part of the team. She expected being underestimated as she had a smaller, stockier frame than some of the other girls. She expected being given a hard time because her long time boyfriend, Roan, was the captain of the boy’s team, their goalie.

Clarke Griffin had been voted captain for two very important reasons. One she was a good soccer player. Two, she was a solutions kind of girl. She thought of all the possible scenarios that could happen and thought of ways they could all be resolved. It had worked out for her this long. Her teammates trusted her to make the hard decisions.

Of all the issues Clarke had thought of, the one she didn’t think of was her soccer team being cut. There had been a notice on the locker room door, but she thought it had been a stupid prank done by the boy’s team. She’d ripped it down, threw it in the trash, and changed into her practice attire without a second thought.

Now, Clarke stood looking out at the field as the boys were now practicing and taking up the whole field rather than the half they were usually designated to. Looking around, she found the boys’ head coach watching the girls from across the field, a smirk on his lips.

Turning briefly back to her teammates, she said, “I’ll be right back.” Then she hurried across the field, not even bothering to go around the boys as they practiced. She just trooped right through them, two of her teammates, Fox and Monroe, close behind her for support.

“Ladies, you’re disturbing my practice,” Coach Shumway told them, not even bothering to look at them as he surveyed his own team.

“What’s this I hear about the girls team being cut?” Clarke asked angrily.

Coach Shumway shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “From what I hear, the school board is making cuts to programs around the school. They make more money off of fans coming to watch the boys team than they do the girls team. I also heard not enough girls signed up. That might be problem number one.”

Shumway was a sexist pig, Clarke decided, and she knew it would do no good to keep talking to him about that. He took pleasure in the fact that they couldn’t practice anymore. Clarke had gotten the feeling that he had always felt threatened by how good the girl’s team actually was.

“We’ll scrimmage for it,” Clarke offered. “If the girl’s win, you have to include the girls on your team.”

The laughing fit Shumway had shouldn’t have surprised her, but it did. She hadn’t expected him to act so childishly. If he was so confident in his boys’ abilities, this should be a no brainer. Instead of answering her, Shumway yelled out for Roan.

Clarke wanted to smirk. He was calling for her boyfriend. Roan was always telling her how good she was and how most of the girls were better than a lot of the boys on his team. He’d been working with her all summer to get her ready for the school year. He’d back her up on this.It was Clarke’s turn to smirk at Shumway.

Roan hurried up their little huddle, a couple of his friends trailing behind him, curious as to what the girls would want. “What’s up, Coach?” he asked as he joined them.

“Clarke here wants to know if she and the girls can be on our team,” Shumway informed him with a knowing smile that Clarke wanted to slap off of his face.

Roan glanced at her with a confused look on his face and asked, “Wait, babe, are you serious?”

“The girl’s team was cut,” Clarke explained. When Roan didn’t say anything, she frowned as she continued, “You’ve said yourself some of the girls are better than half the guys on your team!”

“Excuse me?” exclaimed one of Roan’s friends behind him, looking genuinely hurt by this remark. Was it really so hard for them to see what was written on the wall?

“Roan, what’s she talking about?” the other friend asked.

Roan rushed forward and started trying to shuffle Clarke, Fox, and Monroe away from prying ears. “Clarke, you can’t be serious. You can’t play for us. Let it go.” The fact that he said it so casually, as if soccer was as important to her as it was to him, made her blood boil. How dare he act like this wasn’t a big deal, as if her team’s futures weren’t on the line.

Yanking herself out of Roan’s grasp, she narrowed his eyes at him, “You’re so two-faced.” Turning to Shumway, she yelled, “How are the college scouts supposed to recruit us if we’re not playing?”

“You should have thought of that before now,” was all he replied.

“We’re not asking for any special treatment. Just give us a chance,” Clarke pleaded, walking back towards the coach, looking between Roan and Shumway.

“Girls will play for us when pigs fly,” Shumway told her.

Roan cringed. He clearly didn’t necessarily agree with his coach, but he also wasn’t budging on the topic, either. Clarke had never been more disappointed in him. “You can’t be on the team. End of conversation, babe,” he told her.

Shaking her head, Clarke took a step forward to spit out, “End of relationship.” With that, she turned on her heels and stormed off the field, ignoring the taunts from the guys behind her.

“Come on!” Roan called after her, hurrying towards her, “Don’t be like this. You have to understand!”

Clarke wanted to hit him upside the head, “What I understand is you’re throwing away a two year relationship because you’re a sexist dick.”It hurt knowing she didn’t see this about him until now. How could she have been so blind?

Shumway blew his whistle, calling the teams to get back to practice. Clarke gestured towards the field and walked back up towards the school without looking back. She wouldn’t give Roan that satisfaction.

She found her team sitting in the locker room, and she did not enjoy breaking the news to them. They’d worked just as hard as the guys. It wasn’t fair their team had been cut. This was their senior year, and most of them had been hoping for soccer scholarships. Now they had nothing.

They were out of luck. No other options other than to go home. So after packing up their lockers, they did. School didn’t start for another two weeks, and Polis had their opening soccer match with Arkadia Academy, one of the best schools in the state to start off the school year. It was usually Clarke’s favorite match of the year.

With two weeks of time on her hands, Clarke wasn’t sure what she was going to do. No boyfriend and no soccer to keep her busy would be an adjustment. She’d been playing soccer since she could walk, and her and Roan had been together for a couple of years. It would be a weird adjustment.

“Want to come over to my place, and we can all mope around together?” Monroe asked as they left the school and started down the street.

“I’m down,” Fox agreed.

Shaking her head, Clarke replied, “Can’t.My cousin’s in town, and I need to hang out with him.” He was smart and funny; he’d be able to make Clarke laugh and momentarily forget about her woes.

“Which cousin?” Fox asked.

“Finn,” Clarke supplied as she shifted her bag from one shoulder to the other.

“You mean the cousin you look scarily alike?” Monroe asked.

Clarke frowned, “I don’t know why you guys always say that. Finn and I don’t look that alike. I don’t see it.”

“Please, you two could be twins if he was blonde and had a mole on his face like yours,” Fox teased, bumping her with her hip.

“Are you saying my boobs and awesome butt don’t give me away?” Clarke joked, bumping Monroe in turn.

“Your breasts are one of the only things that gives you away,” Monroe answered with a smirk. “But Finn has a nice butt, too, so that’s not really in your favor.”

“Gee, thanks,” Clarke grumbled.

“Tell him and your mom we said hi,” Fox said as they got to the next intersection and went their separate ways.

Clarke and Finn had grown up as distant cousins at best. His mom and Clarke’s dad were siblings. They hadn’t been close growing up, and only reconnected at her father’s funeral a couple years ago. Clarke’s father had married into money and Jake’s sister married a guy from the wrong side of the tracks. The two families just hadn’t meshed well.

Clarke and Finn had grown closer after the funeral, becoming friends. Finn was actually staying with Clarke and her family over the week. He was going to be leaving back to Arkadia in a couple of weeks just in time for the start of his new school, and Clarke wanted to make sure the two of them had time to spend together before he left.

The house phone was ringing as Clarke entered the house, which was odd. No one ever called the landline. That’s what cellphones were for. She wasn’t even sure why they had a landline still set up, but her Mom insisted. Probably for instances such as this.

“I’ll get it!” She called as she hurried into the office and grabbed the phone expecting the call to be about something important. “Hello?”

“Finn?” asked the voice on the phone. The voice belonged to a woman and was vaguely familiar, though Clarke couldn’t place it at the moment.

“Uh, no, This is Clarke, who is this?” she replied.

“Oh, right. Clarke. I’m Finn’s girlfriend, and I’ve been trying to reach him all day,” the girl answered. Clarke vaguely remembered Finn mentioning a girlfriend named Echo.

“I’m not sure where he is at the moment. Have you tried his cellphone?” Clarke asked.

“Obviously! Otherwise I wouldn’t be trying this number,” Echo said in the bitchiest tone Clarke had ever heard.

“Well, you might want to try leaving him a voicemail. He’ll get back to you when he can.”

“You know, your cousin is lucky to have me in his life, and if he wants to stay in it, he better call me.”

“I’ll be sure to pass on the message if I see him,” Clarke assured Echo in a mock tone.

Echo didn’t even give Clarke a chance to say goodbye because she hung up, the dial tone annoying Clarke’s ears. She made a mental note to talk to her mom about having it disconnected. She knew her dad used it a lot for business when he was still alive. Now, however, no one used it.

Annoyed with her day so far, she trudged up the stairs to the second level. Hearing a noise in Finn’s room, she knocked on the door once before opening the door, and she found he was stuffing clothes wildly into his duffel bag. His room was in a bit of disarray at the moment.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked curiously as she plopped herself down on a part of the bed that wasn’t covered in music books or clothes.

Finn glanced up and smiled at her, “I just got the best phone call,” he told her. He didn’t elaborate as he got distracted flipping through a folder filled with his music sheets.

“Well?” Clarke prompted. “Are you going to tell me what it was about?”

“There’s a music festival in London. One of the bands dropped out, and they asked if we wanted the spot. But I have to leave now,” he answered, barely looking up at her.

“That’s fantastic!” Clarke exclaimed. After what Finn said sunk in, she had to shake her head. “Wait, London, England?”

“One and the same!” Finn nodded his head excitedly.

“Is Arkadia Academy going to defer your enrollment?” Clarke asked, ever the pragmatist.

Finn Collins had just transferred to the elite academy in Arkadia. It was well known for their soccer team, and it was usually always ranked first in the state. She always thought the school was a bit too preppy for her tastes. Besides, her current school in Polis had the better academic record and her mother would never transfer her just so she could play soccer.

Abby Griffin was very much against soccer. Clarke was a debutant, and Abby wanted Clarke to be a beautiful, charismatic, and graceful addition to society. Soccer did not fit into those plans. Her mother would probably throw a party when she found out the soccer team had been cut. If Clarke thought her mom was in her face now about the different debutant events and balls before, it’d only get worse now that Clarke had more time on her hands.

Clarke wanted to bang her head against the wall just thinking of it. Balls and charity events weren’t how she wanted to spend her high school years. But her mother didn’t quite understand that, yet. Abby had good intentions, Clarke knew, but they just weren’t on the same page.

“I was kind of hoping you could help me with that,” Finn said, cutting into Clarke’s thoughts. “Couldn’t you call in, pretend to be my mom, and just tell them I’m sick? My mom would never let me go to London if it’ll cause me to miss school.”

“You know you were kicked out of your last school for skipping. Do you really think it’s a good idea for you to start the new school year skipping?”

“Sometimes you have to break the rules to follow your dreams,” Finn replied.

“Do you know the percentage of music artists that actually make it in the music industry?” Clarke asked frankly. Once Finn got something into his head, he wouldn’t change his mind. But that didn’t stop Clarke from trying.

“Probably the same as female soccer players or artists,” Finn retorted

Clarke frowned, “Your mom will kill us both if she finds out.”

“Then she better not find out,” Finn said. When he saw Clarke was still dubious, he continued, “My mom will think I went straight to school from here. As long as I make sure to call her a couple times, I don’t think we have anything to worry about there.”

“I guess,” Clarke relented. “I wish you could take me with you. I could use a vacation.”

“School hasn’t even started yet, and you want out already?” Finn asked,

“They cut the soccer team,” Clarke explained, shrugging her shoulders.

“Ah,” Finn nodded in understanding. “Guess you better get used to wearing frilly dresses. I saw your mom come home with a couple new dresses today.”

Groaning, Clarke buried her face into Finn’s pillow. Would the day’s madness ever be over? Finn chuckled at her, but finished packing.

“Oh, before I forget, that was Echo that just called,” Clarke told him.

“Someone actually uses that landline?” Finn asked in surprise.

“Did you give her that number?” Clarke wondered aloud.

Finn shrugged, “I might have when we first started dating so she could get ahold of me during emergencies. That was years ago, though.”

“Well, she wants you to call her back,” Clarke said. When Finn groaned, Clarke continued, “Why do you even date her?”

“She’s hot!” Finn said as if that explained everything.

“Ugh!” Clarke threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Why are men such idiots!”

Finn laughed before zipping up his bag. “I gotta get going. My flight is in a couple of hours, and you know how bad traffic can be.”

Clarke nodded and stood up, pulling Finn in for a hug, “Good luck. You guys are going to do great!”

“Sure hope so!” he agreed. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he pat Clarke on the shoulder before leaving.

Clarke went to the window and watched him hail a cab. She watched as he placed his bag the trunk before slipping into the backseat. He glanced back up at the house and smiled, giving a small wave. Clarke wasn’t sure if he could see her or not, but she gave a half of a wave back.

Sad that her cousin had to leave prematurely, she made her way towards her room. Her mom caught her before she could open the door, “Was that Finn I heard leaving?” she asked. “I thought he was staying until Sunday?”

“I guess he wanted to spend some time with his mom before going to school,” Clarke replied, trying to move around her mother, but her mother just stepped into her way.

“You’ll never guess what I bought today!” Abby told her happily. It hurt that Abby wanted Clarke to like the bells and whistles of being an elite, high class lady, but Clarke wanted the complete opposite. She had no interest in becoming another stepford wife for someone.

“If it’s another dress, I’m not interested,” Clarke informed her matter-of-factly, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Won’t you at least just look at them? You might change your mind!” the hopefulness in her voice made Clarke cringe.

“I’m not in the mood to have this conversation, Mom. Can we do it another time?” Clarke rubbed at her temples, the start of headache coming on.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Abby’s face fell to genuine concern.

“The school cut the girl’s soccer team,” Clarke answered after a moment of silence while she warred with herself if she should actually tell her mother. Her mother would feel bad for her but would ultimately be happy about the decision. Now Clarke could focus on being a debutant.

“That’s awful!” Abby exclaimed. “Did they say why?”

“Not enough girls signed up, and apparently the school makes more money off the boys team than the girls,” Clarke answered as she shoved her way past her mother and opened the door to her room, throwing her bag down next to her bed.

Her mother followed her, though she stayed near the doorway. If there was one thing Clarke was grateful for about her mother, it was that she always respected Clarke’s privacy. “Do you want me to make a phone call? The school board might listen to me.”

“No, but thank you, mom. I don’t want to create any tension with the school. I’ll just have to figure something else out,” Clarke replied.

“Now that you don’t have soccer, you can focus on the ball that’s coming up! You in a beautiful dress, Roan on your arm! It’ll be great!” Abby assured her.

“Well, hate to rain on your parade twice in one day, but I broke up with Roan,” Clarke informed her as she fell onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“But why?” Abby asked, concern lacing her voice.

“I don’t feel like talking about it, okay, mom?”

“But he’s so handsome and muscular and built,” Abby listed off all his physical attributes just like that made up who he was. She was being just as bad as the men she had to deal with today.

“Then you date him, Mom,” Clarke retorted angrily.

“Will you try on the dresses at least?” Abby asked, flipping gears back to the original conversation.

“Sorry mom. I’m not in the mood.”

“You know, you might as well be Finn.” With that, her mother turned on her heels and stormed out of the room.

Clarke closed her eyes, trying not to think about how bleak her future looked at the moment. There had to be a way to fix this. Other after school programs she could take to keep her away from her mother and all the dresses she’d try to throw at Clarke.

Her cell phone went off, startling Clarke. Reaching for it, she found she had a text message from Monty inviting her over to his place for movies and pizza, which sounded much better than crying in the shower. So she changed out of her soccer attire and into jeans and Tshirt, hurring over to their place.

She managed to elude her mother, which was a miracle in and of itself. She had expected an interrogation before she left Her mother was probably still hurt about Clarke’s lack of interest. A feeling of guilt washed over Clarke, but she just buried the feeling down deep beside all the other feelings she’d been suppressing.

Several hours later, Clarke was laying on the coach with her head propped up in Monty’s lap. Their other friend Jasper was sitting on the floor playing cards with Monroe and Fox. The girls had just gotten done venting about their day, and the guys were trying to comfort them.

“You don’t think your mom would let you guys transfer to Arkadia?” Monty asked them.

Monroe and Fox shook their heads. Fox answered, “Arkadia is way too expensive for my parents to afford to send me.”

“Mine would never be able to afford the tuition either,” Monroe sighed.

“You mom could easily afford to send you, Clarke,” Jasper said. “Why don’t you transfer?”

“My mom won’t transfer me because Polis has the better academics and high society debutante events. Polis is the better school to groom me to be a lady,” Clarke answered. “If I went to Arkadia, I’d be living on campus away from her. She’d never let me go.”

They all nodded their heads in agreement. It was a shitty position to be in.

“But I’ve been toying around with an idea that I want to run by you,” Clarke told them, sitting up on the couch and turning to face them all.

The all turned in their seats, setting down the cards to give Clarke their undivided attention.

“Ok, this is going to be crazy, but just hear me out,” Clarke said, pausing for a moment before continuing. “My mom and I were sort of arguing about the dresses and my lack of interest, and she said something that gave me an idea. She said I might as well be Finn.”

The four of them were all frowning. Finally Jasper asked, “I don’t get it?”

“What if I got to Arkadia as Finn?” Clarke exclaimed excitedly.

“You want to be your cousin?” Monty asked dubiously. “I’m confused. What’s your plan?”

“I’m going to go to Arkadia Academy as Finn, make the boy’s soccer team, and beat Polis’ boys team in two weeks.”

“Have you taken some crazy pills today?” Monty asked.

“More like she’s been hit too many times in the head with soccer balls,” Jasper clarified.

“You guys know I’d be able to do it,” Clarke insisted.

“Right,” Monty agreed in a tone of voice that said he definitely didn’t agree “Except for your boobs- no offense, the mannerisms, the voice, the mentality-”

“No one there would even know the difference,” Monroe cut in, a smile playing at her lips as she started coming around to the idea. “No one’s met Finn, yet. It’d be perfect.”

“They’d no he’s a she!”

“Come on, guys! If I get caught, that’ll be on me. But wouldn’t it be great if we could beat the system?” Clarke asked.

“It’d be so satisfying,” Fox agreed.

Monty and Jasper were quiet before glancing at each other. “Fine,” they agreed begrudgingly.

“But it’s going to take some time. We’ve got to make sure everything’s set up properly, alter some photos,” Monty said.

Jasper continued, “You have to finder some binders, some clothes, false hair, a wig. You’ve got very feminine features that will be hard to mask.”

“I can do it,” Clarke assured them. “Thankfully, Finn also has some feminine features that could work to my advantage.”

Monroe and Fox agreed. “Tomorrow, we’ll go shopping and get all the things we need. Tomorrow night, we can set up the photo session?” Monroe asked, planning ahead.

“That should work. Once we get the photos, I’ll hack into their system and do the switch. Then you’re on your own,” Monty explained.

It was remarkably easy to find all the supplies they needed, a little pricey, but Clarke could afford it. Monty and Jasper had been able to hold up their end of the deal, and now Clarke was packing up her bag and trying to come up with a plausible excuse to tell her mother on why she’d be gone for the next two weeks.

As she hurried down the stairs out to the waiting cab, she prayed her mother would be busy or not hear her leave. It’d be easier to lie over the phone than in person.However, her luck did not hold out, and her mother happened to be in the office when Clarke came downstairs.

“Clarke?” Abby called, getting up and hurrying into the hallway. “Where are you going?”

“I decided to go stay with Finn until school started. His visit was cut short, and I’d like to spend more time with him,” Clarke replied, turning back around to face her mother.

“Clarke, we’ve hardly spent any time together this summer. I don’t think it’s wise of you to leave. You can spend next weekend with Finn, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go for two weeks,” Abby insisted and went to grab Clarke’s things.

“Mom, I’ve been thinking about what you said. I know you want me to be a debutante. And Finn’s girlfriend Echo will be there. I thought she could show me the ropes for the whole debutante thing,” Clarke said, lying through her teeth.

“This is so exciting! You’re going to have so much fun! There’s so much to do! There’s the ball, the luncheon, and the carnival next week, which Finn promised he’d go to. So make sure to remind him about it,” Abby told her, going through all of the things Clarke would need to go to.

“I will,” Clarke nodded her head, pulling her bag out of her mother’s hands.

“Oh!” Abby smiled as she cupped Clarke’s face between her hands. “You’re going to be a lady!”

Clarke managed to smile and force out a laugh, “Yup! Sure am!”

Abby pulled Clarke in for a hug, “I’ll miss you, sweetie.”

“I’ll miss you, too.” Then Clarke pulled away and hurried out the front door before her mother changed her mind.

She sighed in relief after giving the Lyft driver directions to Monty’s place. She’d get ready at his place before Monty dropped her off at her new school. She couldn’t wait to prove to everyone just how much of a force Clarke Griffin was. Polis would regret the day they didn’t take on the girl’s team. This wasn’t just for Clarke. This whole endeavor was to prove girls could keep up with the guys.

It was a challenge Clarke looked forward to.

#The 100 #the 100 fanfiction #the 100 fanfic #bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bellarke au #au #modern au #high school au #she's the man #she's the man au #bellamy blake #bellamy x clarke #clarke griffin

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