#and my dad (who trained military personnel to go to war) trained me how to protect myself since a very young age

[spoofyleaf]

Have you ever been in a physical fight 👀

Kind of? I’ve given someone a black eye bc they were being creepy towards a friend, and broke someone’s nose bc they were relentlessly bullying a friend. I have (accidentally) given someone a concussion bc they were bullying me and a friend, as well as throwing an eraser so hard at them it gave them a welt (idk how either). Punched a creepy old guy under the jaw bone when I was pumping gas one time.

Never really been in a fight, but I have snapped (which takes a LOT for me to do) to put an end to shut

[dreamer213]

Broken Machines: Lights The Dark

Chapter 10 Saturday School Kids Can Be Cruel.

Friday night had been pretty fun when Penny finally got home. She had called Pietro earlier in the day to tell him not to make her too much for dinner because she had a big lunch. She managed to keep the petit fours a secret until she got home. When she did get home, she plopped the box down on the table while he had his back turned and shouted “SURPRISE” as he turned around. He was so surprised he almost dropped their dinner, but Penny took the tray off his hands before anything got ruined. That night they had baked potatoes with tiny cakes and tea for dessert. The following morning Penny woke up to a pre-made plate of bacon and eggs, some money, and a note.

“ Morning Penny, They had to call me in for some emergency maintenance on the mech’s cannon again. There’s gonna be a lot to be done so I won’t be back till tomorrow. Be safe while I’m gone; remember to eat and stay charged.”

“Love you Sunshine, Dad.”

Penny: He won’t be home till tomorrow. I’m going to be alone here until tomorrow.

Penny frowns unconsciously; she had rarely been away from her dad since she was stationed. His presence had been her only constant comfort since the tournament; she hadn’t gone a day without him and she had never thought about what would happen if she had to. It’s honestly quite scary to be alone with nothing be her thoughts. Whenever she was, everything felt so small, so quiet, so….. suffocating like a black void pooling around her.

Penny: No one will be here when I get back or when I go to sleep tonight. When it’s dark, it’ll just be, be-

Penny shakes her head, pushing out the worrying thoughts before they get worse.

Penny: Stop. You are fine, you are strong, you are not hopeless, and one night on your own will not hurt you. Just eat your breakfast and go to work.

Penny sits down at the table and quietly eats her now cold breakfast. Once she’s done, she washes her dishes, turns off all the lights, and heads off to her morning patrol. The patrol went well, no robberies or emergencies today, for some reason this didn't make Penny happy, even though it meant she would have less paperwork at the end of the day. Before long, it’s time to help at the training facility. Saturdays and Sundays were always the easiest days of the week at the facility as most academy students rested or went home on weekends, and most hunters took it easy on the weekends too, so besides makeup sessions and a few fitness hobbyists, no one came in. Which meant Penny was never requested on these days. Or so she thought. When she arrived, Penny is told that a team has requested her assistant for their session and was waiting for her in her usual room. This surprised her but Penny did as she was told and headed towards the training room. As she walked, she wondered who could have possibly asked for her on a Saturday afternoon. Could it be Winter? No, she liked to train by herself. Academy students? No, any student who came in on the weekend was to be monitored by a teacher. Could it..Ciel?...No there was no possible way she had asked for her. Penny kept pondering, but no matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t guess who could be waiting for her in that room. She’d just had to go in and see for herself. Once she finally reached the training room, the moment she enters the room, something tackles her! Penny wrests her attacker onto the floor and pins their hands behind their back. She’s about to question them when she feels something touch her back. She grabs it, gripping it tightly in her hands. She looks at it and sees it’s a long fluffy orange tail.

Penny: An orange cat tail? Neon Katt?

Penny looks down and realizes she’s holding down Neon!

Neon: Yeah, it’s me. And if not too much to ask, could you let go of my tail and GET OFF ME!

Penny: Right away. I’m so sorry!

Penny lets her go, and they both get off the floor. Before Penny can ask why Neon tackled her, Neon starts rolling towards the rest of her team. Penny tries to keep up and ask her what’s going on, but Neon wouldn't even look at her. When they finally reach the rest of the team, FNKI Neon hides behind Flynt. Penny gives up on Neon and decides to just wait to ask one of the others.

Penny: Good afternoon Team FNKI.

Flynt: Hey Penny, nice to see you.

Ivori: Afternoon to you too, Ms. Penny.

Kobalt: Sup Penny, hope you got affairs in order cause you’re about to see hell. (chuckles)

Ivori: Koco!

Ivori pops Kobalt in his side with the handle of his whip. Kobalt rubs his side in pain and annoyed.

Kobalt: Ow, the hell Ivy!

Ivori: Could you please not act like a jackass for one minute.

Kobalt: How was I being a jackass? We know what’s about to go down, I was just giving her a heads up!

Ivori: Still, would it kill you to show some tact for once. I mean Is it really so hard for you to-

Penny: Excuse me.

Both young men stop and return their attention to Penny.

Penny: What exactly is going on? I have no idea what is happening and what exactly I’ve done to get this kind of reaction. Could one of you please explain?

Flynt: Yeah, sorry about that. You see what happened was-

Suddenly, Neon pushes Flynt out of the way and gets in Penny’s face. She gets less than an inch away from Penny’s face, looking really upset.

Neon: You didn’t call.

Penny: Excuse me?

Neon continues to stare her down, arms crossed with a big frown on her face.

Neon: You didn’t call me! I gave you my number, asked you to call me, waited two weeks for you to call, but you never did. So rude!

Penny: I am sorry Neon, I have been very busy for the last few weeks and hadn’t thought about our conversation since then.

Neon: Wow, talk about thoughtless. Or am I just that forgettable to you?

Penny: No, I just had over things I needed to give my full attention to at the time. That and I didn’t have anything to talk about.

Neon: Uh, That’s so not true! What about that “secret mission” Ironwood has you working on?

Penny: I’m not supposed to talk about that.

Neon: Yeah, with civilians! You’re supposed to gossip about your crazy missions and stupid paperwork with coworkers, stupid. Sharing wild stories is like the best thing about being a soldier! And besides, this isn’t just an everyday mission; it's one the General himself had to come to your house and get you out of bed for. How could you not wanna talk about that?

Penny: How did you know about that?

Neon: Same way I shoulda heard from you. Now talk! I wanna hear everything!

Penny stares blankly at Neon as she piece together what she just heard. She looked over at the rest of Team FNKI; the three young men were standing awkwardly, embarrassed but unsurprised by Neon’s actions. Finally understanding what’s going on, Penny turns her attention back to Neon.

Penny: So if I’m hearing this correctly, you request this room and my presence with sole purpose of having a recreational conversation?

Neon: Yeah!

Penny: And you do realize that in doing so, you are misappropriating both military equipment and personnel?

With that, Neon’s pout drops, and so does her tail, Flynt facepalms and hangs his head, Ivori does everything he can to avoid making eye contact, and Kobalt’s looking around and whistling, trying his best to play it cool. Penny crosses her arms, unimpressed by their silly plan.

Penny: Team FNKI, please leave this area immediately so that others may use it properly.

Neon: What! Oh come on, no one even comes here on Saturday!

Penny: That is incorrect and irrelevant; this room is for training purposes only, not socializing. If you aren’t going to train then you have to leave. Those are the rules we must follow as soldiers.

Neon: OMG, Are you really doing this right now? Ugh why do you have to be such a narc-

Neon is quickly interrupted by Flynt getting in between the warring redheads.

Flynt: Okay, I’m sensing way too much hostility here, so why don’t we all just take as sec to calm down and come up with some kind of solution.

Neon about to start arguing again but Flynt turns to her and puts a hand on her cheek; he caresses her cheek with his thumb and lightly scratches her jawline with his other fingers. Soon Neon lets out a low purr as she full calms down from her hissy fit.

Flynt: Kitty, I know you just wanna talk, but we gotta follow the rule. So, how about this, you like skating, right?

A now calm Neon simply nods her head as she continues to receive scratches.

Flynt: Then how about you do a little speed test, you race around the room a few times while Penny tracks your speed and you two talk as you go. Me and the boys can stay here and do some stretches while you ladies race and chat. Sound good to you?

Neon: Yeah…Sounds…good.

Flynt: Good.

Still scratching away, Flynt turns his head to Penny.

Flynt: Sound okay to you, Penny?

Penny: Since the activities are forms of training, yes that would be acceptable.

Flynt: Great, thank ya Penny.

Flynt takes his hand off Neon’s cheek onto her shoulder and rolls her towards Penny as he returns to his spot next to Ivori and Kobalt. Penny and Neon walk to the edge of the room near the entrance; once there, the two stand close to the wall, and Neon takes a starting stance. Penny clicks her heels together and starts her rocket boots; they’re on a lower setting to match Neon’s gliding and sets an internal stopwatch. Penny gives a quick glance to the boys, and they were indeed doing stretches as promised, then looks back to Neon. They make eye contact, Noen mouths, “Ready?” and Penny holds up a hand and starts counting down. 5….4……3….2….1.

Both girls dash off at tremendous speeds. They remain neck and neck as they go around the room and soon Neon starts talking again.

Neon: So what’s going on with this secret mission?

Penny: I’m investigating a crime, and I need to go undercover to find the perpetrator.

Neon: Cool, so are they just dropping you in or what?

Penny: No, because of the lifestyle and living situation of the people on the suspect list, I have to receive some training on how to behave and act without seeming suspicious.

Neon: Oh, is it like stealth training?

Penny: Yes and no, I’m taking etiquette lessons so that I may infiltrate Atlas high society.

Neon: Woah, really? Damn that’s like straight out of a spy movie! So who they got teaching you to act all distinguished and junk? I don’t know we had an expert on that stuff just lying around here.

Penny: We don’t, an elite is instructing me as a form of repayment for saving his life at a party.

Neon: Uh ew, you’re getting lessons from some old fart elite. Gross.

Penny: No, he’s actually a teenage boy. And he’s not gross; he’s very clean and friendly.

Neon: A teenager! They seriously gotta another kid teaching you? Way to pay off a life debt.

Penny: It’s actually very nice; Our ages being so close makes our dynamic fairly even, he’s intelligent, easy to talk to, and very kind, and the way he teaches is unique and very fun.

Neon: Ooooh cool. Is he cute?

Penny: He’s…more beautiful than cute.

Neon: Oh yeah? How exactly?

Penny: Well, he’s has a model’s figure, lean, long legs, high shoulders, and excellent posture. You could take a picture of him at any angle, and he’d always look amazing. His face is also gorgeous, pink lips that look nice even in a smirk, high cheekbones, a cute little nose, and his eyes! I’ve never seen a pair so blue and shiny before; they look like a deep sea with the brilliance of a gemstone. And his hair is so soft and neat that it looks like silk and is white as fresh snow.

Penny begins to sway from left to right, hands behind her back and a sweet smile on her face. She’s slowing down and moving further and further away from the wall as they go. Neon slows to match her speed.

Neon: Wow, so he’s grade A in the looks department. What about his personality?

Penny: As I previously stated, he’s very intelligent. He’s also creative and well-spoken I could talk with him for hours if I had the time to. He’s a bit abrasive, not cruel by any means just very direct and confident, and charming and witty (giggle), which is a little funny because his first name starts with Whit. (giggles)

Neon: (giggles) Sounds like you really really like this guy.

Penny: I do. Being around him is just so….wonderful. Sometimes when I’m with him, it feels like it’s just the two of us; I have his full attention, and he has mine. It’s very..cozy and a bit

A slight blush glows on Penny’s cheeks. She turns around and starts flying backwards.

Penny: exhilarating. So much so that sometimes I feel a little dizzy and get this thumping feeling in my chest when he looks at me for too long or says something really nice to me. It’s really-

Penny is intercepted by her accidentally backing into the wall of one of the obstacles. Luckily for her, her aura was active, and she had slowed down so much that the impact was damaging in the slightest. Still hurt a bit though.

Neon: Ooooooh shit.

Neon rushes over to Penny, having been in earshot of the collision come running to see if everything’s okay.

Flynt: I heard a bang. Who got hurt?

Kobalt: 5000 lien says Neon got bored and pushed her off a platform.

Ivori: Koco I swear to every God if you don’t stop I hit you right in the-

Neon: Will you two mouthy douche cakes shut up and actually help!

The two stop their bickering and go to Penny. They try to help her up, but Penny puts her hands up as they try, and they back up to give her some space. Penny turns off her boots, takes a second to regain her balance, and steadies herself fully on the floor. The team begin conversing about what’s just happened.

Ivori: Are you okay, dear? Do you need us to get someone?

Penny: No, thank you, I’m fine. My aura was activated, and it was a slow speed collision, so there was no damage aside from the initial shock of the impact.

Flynt: But why’d you crash?

Penny: I-

Neon: Oh, it was nothing really. Penny just go all wispy talking about this dreamy boy she met.

Penny: W-what? What are you-

Kobalt: Oooh, so that what you two were talking about. A boy.

Neon: Yup, she was so caught up in her gushing that she slammed herself into that wall. (laughs) Can’t say I blame her though, all cute girls go a little brain dead when they think about their crush. I know I did.

Kobalt: And since when did you count as a cute girl?

Neon playful elbows Kobalt in the side, and Kobalt returns the favor while Penny looks on, confused by their words.

Penny: Excuse me, but do you mean by a crush?

Neon: Oh, you know.

Penny: No, I do not know.

Neon: You know it’s when you really like someone.

Penny tilts her head to the side, confused.

Penny: But I like a lot of people.

Neon: Yeah, but a crush is when you really like someone. Like you like like them.

Penny: Like like?

Kobalt: You know, they make you feel all floaty, makes your head all foggy, and gives you butterflies in your tummy.

Penny: How would someone get insects in my stomach?

Neon and Kobalt sigh in unison, frustrated with her lack of knowledge. Meanwhile, Ivori walks up to Penny, dusts off her sleeves, and takes both her hands in his, taking over the situation.

Ivori: Sorry about those two. They have don’t know how to take anything seriously. Now the gist of what they were trying to say is that a crush is when you have some romantic feelings for someone.

Penny: Romantic..feelings?

Ivori: Yes, when you’re with this person, it’s very special. They’re beautiful to you; they make you feel warm and safe and happy. You want to hold them, laugh with them, kiss them, and just be romantic with them.

Penny: But I’ve never wanted to ki-

For a second, the unconscious thought of kissing Whitley plays through Penny’s mind. Suddenly the thumping in her chest returned, and her face started to redden. Penny tries to make the thought go away, but Ivori’s words keep replaying in her head, and memories of Whitley pour in with it. Her face gets redder and redder until she’s at the max amount of flushed her body can be. She tries to speak her mind still jumbled.

Penny: I-I d-don’t have r-romantic fe-feelings for hi-(hiccup)

Penny quickly rips her hands from Ivori and covers her mouth, astonished that she had somehow just said a lie.

Kobalt: The hell was that!

Penny: N-nothing (hiccup)

Neon: Wait a sec, I’ve heard about this. She hiccups when she lies. You lied, you’re totally crushing on this guy, aren’t you?

Penny: No I’m not-(hiccup)

Kobalt: Holy shit, that’s fucking adorable! Do it again! Do it again!

Neon: Penny’s got a crush, Penny’s got a crush.~

Neon chants in a sing-song voice, Kobalt chuckling at her side.

Penny: No, I don't-(hiccup) Stop it!

Neon continues to chant and Kobalt joins in, Penny just covers her face, silently praying for the ground to swallow her up and away from this as they continue heckling her. After a while Ivori decides that enough was enough and gets in the two jokesters faces.

Ivori: Both of you stop that right now! Can’t you see that hurting the poor girl’s feelings!

Neon: Ugh, Lighten up we’re were just kidding around.

Kobalt: Yeah, you’re supposed to tease people when they get a crush. We did the same thing to you.

Ivori: That was different, you don’t make fun of a little girl. Especially one like Penny.

Neon: Oh, come on, if she’s gonna be a soldier, she has to be able to handle some hazing.

Ivori: But you still shouldn’t be prying into her personal life like this.

Flynt: All three of you shouldn’t have been prying at all.

Flynt final chimes in, having stayed silent for far too long.

Flynt: Koco, Kitty cut it out right now; it's not funny. Ivy, you should’ve stayed out of it; you played right into their game and lost. Take your L and walk away.

The three listen and stop arguing, and Flynt turns to Penny. He takes off his shades, gives her a reassuring smile, and pats her shoulder.

Flynt: Penny, I understand you’re vulnerable and awkward right now, that’s normal. If you wanna talk about this, we’ll gladly listen but if not that’s okay too. We won’t push you, and I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable today.

Penny: Thank you Flynt Coal, your apology is accepted.

Flynt: Okay, now if there’s anything you need feel free to-

???: Excuse me.

Everyone stops in their tracks as a familiar voice rings out into the room. They look towards the door to see Winter walking towards them, stern-faced as always.

Winter: Apologies if I’m interrupting your conversation Team FNKI, but your time is almost up, and I need to have a talk with Penny. And since it seems like you have already finished up, I’d like you all to leave.

Flynt: Yes Ma’am, let's go people, time to bounce.

Flynt gives Penny a wave and heads towards the door, followed by Ivori, who gives her a sweet smile, followed by Kobalt, who ruffled her hair, and lastly Neon, who gave her a peace sign as she rolls past. Once they’ve left the room, Winter and Penny are left to converse.

Winter: Penny Polendina.

Penny: Yes, Winter Schnee.

Winter: I understand you have had a change in schedule.

Penny: Yes, I have.

Winter: When you return to your usual schedule, I’d like you to join me on my errand.

Penny: You mean the-

Winter: She’s asked for you, said that your presence was calming. I’ve already spoken to Ironwood, and he’s approved the change. As soon as your investigation is over, you’ll be accompanying me for this task twice a week. Understood.

Penny: Affirmative.

Winter: Excellent, now run along the carrier for the evening shift is leaving soon.

Penny: Yes Ma’am, have a good day.

Penny exists the room, leaving Winter alone to train, soon she’s back in Mantle and headed to the station to fill out her daily reports. It doesn’t take long as it has been a very uneventful day so she finishes in around two hours. From there she walks home, unlocking the door and stepping into the living room, turn on the lights as she enters.

Penny: I’m home-

Penny begins her usual greeting before remembering that she’s alone. Her smile drops and she heads to her room, taking off her boots along the way. She sets her backpack and boots down the flops onto her bed, she looks up at the ceiling, wonders what she should do until it’s time for her to sleep. She pulls out her scroll, hoping to find some entertainment, and notices a text from Neon reading “If you wanna any advice on how to get a date with Atlas boy, text me 😸🌈😉.” She goes red at the memory of teasing she received early and responds with a simple “No thank you.” She decides to go on her Individeo, a video, and streaming platform, app to watch some videos. She pulls up a video on making your own custom guns, she had seen the tile and saved it for another time days ago. As she watches she remembers that she saved this specific video to show her dad because she thought some of the ideas for the weapons could be used to improve some of their own guns. This realization weights on her as all the ideas and facts she wanted to discuss with her dad float around with nowhere to go. Speaking of her dad he wanted her to eat whiles he’s gone.

Now Penny could survive solely off of electricity but thanks to her biofuel converter and new nervous system she could enjoy food and turn it into fuel, making her more eco-friendly. She closes the video app and searches her memory bank for phone numbers for local restaurants that delivered. She forms a long list of options but as she has limited funds and would hate to inconvenience anyone Penny starts disqualifying the higher prices and further away eateries. Soon she narrows it down to a list of three options, a pizza place, a burger place, Ms. Ling’s. From there she evaluates them base on quality, quantity, and service rates. In the end logic and curiosity wins out as Penny picks out the one she never had before, pizza. She calls in for one medium-sized cheese pizza, just to test out the taste, and is told it will take 45 minutes to deliver. She takes this time to wash up and change into her pajamas. When the food does arrive she goes downstairs, pays, and takes her pizza. She sits the box on the table, opens it, and takes out a slice. Penny takes a bite and it’s greasy in a good way, the cheese is nice and stretchy, the tomatoes sauce compliments the cheese, and the crust has a pleasant crunch. But it just doesn’t feel tasty, it tastes good but for some reason, it just doesn't feel the way to supposed to. Penny eats two more slices then puts the rest away in the refrigerator. She goes back upstairs, brushes her teeth, plugs up, and heads to bed early.

She closes her eyes hoping to see her dad’s smiling face when she wakes again.

[cooltrainererika]

A Star Wars Noob’s ideas for fixing the Disney sequels

Okay so just to get this out there, because it won’t leave my mind.

So I’ve been binging on SW lately and the sequels only annoy me more and more by the day. So just wanted to throw my character ideas out into the world. Focusing on characters because I like writing characters way more than plot. Hopefully if I ever actually write this thing, or even somehow pitch it to someone with the right connections to animate it with the actors as voice actors, this wouldn’t have gone viral. But since no one looks at my blog it probably won’t lol. Hopefully.

But just in case, I’ll say that this will probably contain spoilers for a story which may or may not exist by the time you read this.

I’ve deliberately been trying to avoid as much emotional spoilers and normal spoilers as I can before the sequels despite the temptation, so sorry if some stuff is a bit off. Augh I hope I can get the time to watch the full OT and PT soon. I was too tired from hiking when I watched SW4 and I now really wish my dad didn’t show me when I was half-asleep.

Rey: Rainbow of possibilities; Cynical Scavenger, Adventure-seeking Audience Surtogate Geek, or Lawful Good to the core Paladin Padawan with a personal grudge, and may be descended from a family line, maybe not, but currently most likely a Skywalker by blood. Story and other character arcs change dramatically depending on which route chosen.

Finn: Stoic soldier man learns power of friendship, finds meaning of life, causes Stormtrooper mutiny, probably becomes a Jedi and second main character and hooks up with Rey. “What‘s a joke?”. Awkward dork and stunted socially but doing his best. May instinctively find it hard to disobey orders. He may be the one wanting to find his family; but that’s dropped soon enough to focus on what’s ahead. 

(Alternatively: Proud warrior guy who acts like a stereotypical North Korean soldier who finds himself outside the First Order, learns power of friendship etc. The rest is the same)

Poe Dameron: What we Japanese people call The Aniki. The funny charismatic ace pilot who keeps everyone sane, overall bro. Wholesome but a bit rough, that guy you would want to share a beer with. But within that easygoing nature burns a hotblooded, determined, dutiful streak, and an even stronger snarky streak. The one with the social skills. Loves his droid like his son though Cynical!Rey and Finn find that initially kind of stupid/strange. 

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: Appears to be yet another quietly imposing Star Wars villain with added edgelord factor, but actually a mentally unstable, borderline yandere berserker of a man crushed under the weight of a legacy, with a horrifying inferiority complex, identity issues, and an unhealthy obsession with familial honor, constantly stuck between Dark and Light. Despite his high rank, basically the First Order’s attack dog. Usually has the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old, if not younger. If anyone is, he’s the damsel in distress of this story.

Luke Skywalker: Cuddly sunshine headmaster sage doing his best, has been on many adventures before that are hidden ads to future Lucasfilm projects. May have gone to search for answers as to what is causing recent events, or is still present at the beginning. May survive at the end. He could be anywhere from kind of jaded but at his core still that sweet optimist, to Basically Uncle Iroh, to can-literally-summon-Porgs-by-whistling/Space Sage Mr. Rogers.

Han Solo: General of the Republic Armed Forces or courier who decided military life just wasn’t for him and now delivers important messages through still unstable areas of the New Republic, a war hero, and a dad doing his best. Wants to hold hope but may have at least outwardly given up on Ben, with Poe filling in the void. Has gone clean from his life of crime and still married 30+ years strong with Leia. He would be the one who is the closest to Poe if he’s still in the military and Leia is a Jedi, with Poe being seen as his likely successor. He might die at the end of 8? Maybe Hamill and Carrie would somehow talk him into sticking around past 7? He might still die in 7?

(Side note: I wish we could have seen Old Harrison Ford in a military casual coat-cape. He would have looked awesome in it. I mean no one would really complain that he plays fast and loose with the dress code if there even is one, he’s Han freakin’ Solo and he gives no f*cks.)

Leia Organa-Solo: Preferably a Jedi Knight, leader while he’s away if he’s away as well as their tactician, or senator considering her personality; maybe have basically what Colin Trevorrow planned for her (I mean… why not just use CGI at this point? They’ve done it before. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t have wanted her swan song to be such a passive role either), with her bond with Luke being a major factor and us actually being able to see it in practice. May have outwardly given up on her son as well, but still is at the end of the day a mom doing her best. Basically a strong, smart lady like how she’s always been.

Chewbacca: How he always is, but he plays more of a role than basically the guy bussing the cast around, an active combat role definitely. Han’s second in command and maybe fellow dad. Possibly the part-time chaperone of the mess that is the new main duo. Also was Ben’s first friend, and you bet there will be drama here.

Lando Calrissian: Business mogul who probably helps the heroes out, maybe by selling them stuff and using his many connections to get information. And/or he’s basically an economic diplomat for the Republic. Has known Ben since he was a child and may have snuck him on too many joyrides without telling Leia, to her chagrin and Han’s amusement. 

Grand Admiral Armitage Hux: Basically how he was in SW7. Calculating, manipulative, coldhearted, intelligent, and ruthless, the brains to Kylo’s brawn. Son of former Imperial officers, killed his own father to get where he is. Gives no f*cks, except when he goes full ham. Maybe even he goes cold and pale if Kylo starts getting angry, just to show how terrifying he can be, but I also like the idea of him being one of two people who can manipulate Kylo out of a tantrum and not end up a pile of flesh or choked to death. 

Captain Phasma: How she is in supplemental material probably. A walking chrome machine of merciless death. Probably not very talkative, and probably does not take defectors lightly. She may defect at the end or not depending on how truly evil she’s portrayed to be, but I’m thinking she’s likely this cruel disciplinarian who expects complete and utter, machine-like obedience to the end, and Finn flinches at the mere mention of her, though she herself is equally as extremely loyal to the cause.

Snoke: A mysterious being, the likes of which are not of this galaxy. Probably some kind of ancient eldritch abomination who can torment vulnerable minds with an untraceable curse. Not your average Sith, and despite how it may seem it may not be connected to them at all… Or perhaps it is. Or perhaps it itself serves a larger master. It wants to use Kylo Ren for… something. Just what it is is what Luke has been trying to find out for years.

Knights of Ren: Idea borrowed from Thor Skywalker (check him out on YouTube!); possibly a military cult of Sith/Vader worshippers who see Ben as the second coming of Vader, and have aligned themselves with Snoke. Probably basically Kylo’s personal guard and troops. Or possibly directly liked to whatever otherworldly entit(ies?) Snoke is, not being of this galaxy themselves.

Anakin Skywalker: Determined grandpa doing his best for his kids, grandkid(s), and the galaxy. Doesn’t appear often, but plays a major role in the story; maybe he’s the one who led Rey to his lightsaber, and maybe he advises Luke while training Rey, or secretly follows Kylo, trying to speak to him but unable to be seen or heard by him. He’d be the one who ultimately convinces Ben to return to the light, and to, in an echo of the words Ben heard when he was being impersonated, “finish what I started”.

Rose Tico: A probably relatively new, wide-eyed young recruit in the Republic Military, and maybe seeks revenge on First Order for killing or kidnapping her sister. Not sure if she will be needed, but if there’s room for her she might be interesting. Maybe she’s one of Poe’s friends or part of his squad. She could also be the resident girly girl because there aren’t many of those here. 

Vice-Admiral Amberlyn Holdo: She’s in the Aftermath books, and those seem pretty good, so she’s probably how she is there. A quirky mostly background character that is probably at most there for Han and/or Leia and Ackbar to give commands to and salute back, but most importantly she actually does her job properly, even if she’s still a bit of an odd person. Also Poe knows her and they have a way more amicable work relationship. Also give her something which actually looks like something military personnel would wear. She could even be a legitimately good tactician who comes up with off-the-wall tactics.

(Side note: I heard that she basically has the Star Wars version of Autism, and while I’d appreciate that as an Aspie myself, I’ll also have to say that Autistic people would probably be terrible military leaders due to us not being able to adjust to sudden changes well and our bad communication skills. So yeah, sorry, unless she’s recast to something like, say, a mechanic or logistics or medic or any other more Autistic-friendly job, that’s going to have to go)

Maz Kanada: …Admittedly not sure what to do with her. But she’s more likely to be an acquaintance of Lando before Han, if she doesn’t know both. In fact, Lando may be introduced early alongside her. But she would still have the important role of keeping Anakin’s saber; how she has it, either Lando found it, or basically what was cut from TFA showing that she’s indeed pretty awesome. 

BB-8: BB-8 doesn’t have to change. He’s perfect as he is. Maybe what he can do should be more consistent though. Poe and him are basically Ash and Pikachu, they stick together whenever possible. If Rey or Finn need a droid to tag along and Poe isn’t in the party at the moment, R2 is right there. I once read a fanfic in which BB-8 was actually a droid Luke made for Ben and I liked the idea… though it probably would be a bit of an unnecessary detail in practice.

R2-D2 and C3P0: They’re basically business as usual. They would still have that boke-tsukkomi dynamic they had going on, sometimes with the added childlike cuteness of BB-8 in the mix. If there’s any extra time left for comic relief scenes, or if they’re sent on some kind of mission together, I can see these three messing around doing their thing (or rather, BB being childlike, cute and curious, Threepio being overly nervous, and Artoo being too old for this sh*t and/or BB’s cool uncle/older brother) being both cute and hilarious.

Also Worldbuilding stuff will be featured at the bottom

Elaboration on the “big four” of the sequel cast:

Rey: Aged 19, speaks with Daisy Ridley’s normal accent, not RP (I mean really, her accent isn’t that hard to understand). A whole rainbow of possibilities with this lady, though many don’t realize it. I might be leaning towards her being Luke’s daughter, though her being Just Rey may also be interesting, and her still being a descendant of Palpatine or the main villain could also have potential, though if Finn is a Jedi I don’t think there’s any need for her parents to be nobody. But the three main routes I can think of for her are these three: Cynical!Rey, a Rey with a backstory identical to the canon Rey from her abandonment onwards, Fangirl!Rey, a sort of estimation of a dorky female Star Wars nerd in-universe and the most lighthearted start out of the three, and Padawan!Rey, a Rey who is already Luke’s Padawan at his academy. Maybe making her starting point less crushingly bleak and Fangirl!Rey could work, but it might dilute both ideas, and that characterization might be a bit too similar to ANH Luke. 

As is apparent, Cynical!Rey, is, well, cynical. She’s strong and independent, but extremely distrusting, on-edge, and not used to friendly interaction. Think Female SW4 Han Solo but even more antisocial and probably not even bothering with the bravado, and basically with Anakin’s upbringing except she doesn’t even have a loving mother like Anakin did. Fangirl!Rey was my initial idea but I’m starting to become less partial to it because of the aforementioned similarity to ANH Luke, but my idea was she’s basically Harry Potter, living with stepparents who hate her, or she’s still used as basically child labor but her conditions are nowhere near as bad as Cynical Rey’s, and she would have grown up on stories about the Rebels and the Jedi and everything else in the past movies, collecting every single bit of memorabilia she can get her hands on. If one wants to go for very lighthearted and slightly meta for SW7 this is the route. Padawan!Rey could go anywhere, but I’m thinking she would basically be our D&D Paladin; ever since Ben Solo went berserk and ran off to join the First Order, she’s become very protective of her fellow students and has a really understandable personal grudge against him. She might be the strongest pupil left after the Second Jedi Massacre, and by the end maybe she becomes the successor to headmaster of the academy. It is possible that she was found abandoned on Jakku or Luke’s doorstep, however, so the theme of growing up lonely is there, and because being a Jedi is what has given her meaning in life it means a lot to her. But while I don’t want her parentage to be revealed early if it is Luke, it does raise the massive plot hole of why this was never disclosed to her or to Ben. 

And yes, I did say fellow students and academy. Wiping the new Jedi Order feels really cheap and it makes the whole hopeful Jedi Starting Anew implication that I’m 90% sure the OT ended on feel very pointless. I’d prefer them still being there, though their inclusion would be obviously way more natural in the Padawan Route. This also has tons of marketing potential for Disney, because I wanted to take IRL realism into account; what’s in it for Disney? Maybe potential to expand on other students and Luke’s academy? It could be like a smaller Jedi Hogwarts/Xavier Institute basically. Though the survivors wouldn’t be too numerous; just, like, four at most. Maybe there would be elements of an Avengers/Infinity War/Endgame-esque team movie, even if the rest are a bit out of focus.

I did think maybe the heroes would still go to Ahch-To after SW7 where Luke would have been hiding with his students researching the new threat, but maybe I could have him stay and sort of take a few cues from Harry Potter by introducing the heroes to the world of the Jedi early and giving them a break in the action as they settle in their new homes, so there’s more time to develop the padawan side characters, what the academy is like, and Luke gets to appear in SW7 as well so there can be a OT trio “reunion” (not a reunion in-universe). Though that kind of messes with other parts I want to include like Rey and Finn having to take on Kylo and getting completely whipped because he’s a rampaging madman before having to be saved by Luke. Also Rey getting kidnapped has potential for developing her trust in others, and her and Finn getting a breather moment at the Republic after the heroes and Han regroup would kind of remove a point where that could be easily slotted in the story. It would also require everything before this to be crammed in the first act. 

(Newer edit 5/27/21)  I also like her getting a golden double-bladed saber like many fans depict her. It’s not only awesome looking (because she only gets her own saber at the end of TROS… Why?), but it’s more toys for the moichendise! It fits her starting with a staff, it has more reach, and it would fit Cynical Rey especially for her to have a style centered around keeping as much of herself defended as possible. Watching Battlefront 2 footage has made me think about fighting styles a bit, and if she and Finn are a duo how their styles of combat might compliment each other, especially as their relationship develops (coincidentally she and Finn apparently are a very good combination in BF2). A Cynical Rey would probably contrast the most, with a fighting style based on keeping enemies away, trickery, and defense (a good choice for a blade made of light), maybe a bit wild at first but initially her goal in fighting would be to hold out until there is an opening to get the hell out, only staying to fight if she has no other option. Fangirl Rey wouldn’t really have a fighting style initially, and it’s gonna be very dependent on where her arc goes. Padawan Rey would have the most Prequel Jedi-esque, choreographed style, showing a lot of skill though not quite mastering it and with tons of openings at first. A Cynical Rey may have an uncanny skill to detect suspicious people, which would make her trusting the heroes easier, and though this ability isn’t super strong and is more “a slight gut feeling but it could be nothing” than “human lie detector” it could maybe be honed more. And while not quite wall vision like in BF2 (because wat? Where do they come up with this stuff?), maybe she’s good at detecting people’s presences too. These are very apt ambient skills for someone in her position. Meanwhile, Fangirl!Rey would have probably suspected she had the Force already, and her ambient abilities could be whatever, just rather passive abilities unless trained. 

If she is Luke’s daughter though, that would open up the can of worms of who her mother is. Just making it so that she died before the events of SW7 might seem a bit… unfortunate? I kind of want Luke to have found love sometime (and seriously with how much of a bombshell young Luke was, in addition to him being such a hero, I’m shocked that he never got one. I can see why Mara Jade wanted a piece of that. *wolf whistle*), but then I’d have to figure out how to incorporate her in this already character-dense story without her having cheaply died offscreen. I might be able to think of something? I could always go digging in the dusty pile of old fan theories, I might find something good. Thor Skywalker did hint at her but his story stopped at the end of where SW8 would have. If I do name her Mara there’s probably going to be extra pressure to do something with her. …But I can’t be the only one who thinks that Daisy Ridley kind of looks like Natalie Portman. Then again I’m pretty face-blind. I guess blond hair and blue eye color genes are also recessive traits for Star Wars humans. Though it seems the height genes skipped a generation because she’s actually pretty tall for a woman at 170 cm - I’m sorry what. That’s as tall as the average Japanese man! Holy sh*t Daisy! She only looks a bit small because she’s often depicted with Kylo and Kylo makes everyone not Phasma look diminutive. I guess Ben would get it from Anakin and Han (though he’s still taller than both of them…), so maybe a taller actress would be cast as Mara (?). And despite Rey’s malnourishment in the Cynical route, this actually isn’t that implausible, because stunted growth apparently only happens if children are deprived from gestation to about 2 years of age. 

And again, why wouldn’t Ben know about this? But if this isn’t the Padawan!Rey route (the hardest to incorporate Rey The Actual Skywalker into), maybe Ben took Rey’s assumed death as even more of a reason to burden himself with the entire Skywalker legacy? This would give him a reason to already care about her.

Further edits: According to the Aftermath books, Jakku was a “Lightside Nexus” planet. Maybe this has to do with her powers? (Perhaps she was kept sane by the Force speaking to her on occasion, in dreams or as she lies staring at the ceiling after a long day, showing her the loving life she used to live and unknown to her she will return to someday). Or why she was dropped there? Maybe she was supposed to be living with Lor San Tekka (the old guy Kylo kills at the beginning of TFA), but got lost one day or was kidnapped by bandits to be a scavenger because her small size would have been perfect for getting loot from small spaces? Why not take her back then? This probably is one of the biggest plot knots in the Cynical Rey Skywalker route, alongside who her mother is.  

Small detail lightning round before moving on: I once read a Japanese fic, and in it she mentioned she hates alcohol because she saw how it turned people into monsters. I actually kind of liked this headcanon, and maybe a bit unexpected. Though there’s also the route of her just being too used to it, setting her apart from previous more wholesome protagonists even more.  Also Daisy would have to start hitting the gym and protein shakes because I think her character design evolving from her thin build to a very athletic, Wonder Woman-esque body type would be pretty good in representing her growth as a character, and combined with her height she would be so very badass looking. 

Finn: Probably around 23? Infamous for lost potential, so his backstory is the same. However, I’m thinking that due to his dehumanizing upbringing, he’s a bit robotic and pretty stoic initially, a total opposite to Poe. He doesn’t understand jokes or sarcasm, and now that he’s completely left the life he’s always known, he feels pretty lost. He would basically act like a male Rei Ayanami, though I was going more for Drax at first. Alternatively, he’s a proud warrior type, imagine a stereotypical North Korean/Prussian soldier. He’d be a bit more emotional and probably less cartoonish here (I mean I have compared Star Wars to anime but full-on anime tropes in live action probably looks super corny), and he’s a massive hardass who also doesn’t get sarcasm or jokes and fanatical and would have thought of his fellow soldiers as a collective as his band of brothers and comrades, collectively serving the FO like a smoothly running machine. My initial thought was that after a life of war crimes and the influence a certain pilot whose cell he was guarding who gave him his name, and maybe witnessing the death of a comrade, he had defected from the FO, but I started thinking it would be plausible if he defected from the FO probably by accident. Highly likely to be the second protagonist, if not POV character, and if so I think it’s logical that it’s Finnrey that becomes the canon ship here. In the Padawan!Rey route, he’s the newcomer protagonist, not Rey. If they’re shipped, or even as friends, they may bond over their dehumanizing, harsh backgrounds and the feeling of being lost in the world. Also he likely starts a mutiny. Like it was such an obvious plot point but they never use it for some bizarre reason. It’s like the DM didn’t read his character sheet at all. Actually one didn’t and the other kept forgetting it in the third campaign.

There’s two ways I think his arc could go; first would be a focus mainly on his search for identity and becoming his own person. Second, his guilt about having done the First Order’s bidding for so long. Probably a combination of the two, though I’m not sure how to address them both. He also wants to see his colleagues free from slavery. But I am sure about I’d that he’d have to overcome his conditioning, learning to regain his humanity.

Especially if Rey is a Skywalker and he becomes a Jedi, he’d be the one who the movie makes a point about being from nowhere. He has no idea who his parents are, but it would not even matter in the end, it’s what he makes of his life from here on out. And if he and Rey end up together, which is extremely likely in this scenario, he not only finds his family in the figurative sense with the other Jedi and his new friends plus girlfriend, but in the literal sense as well, going from nameless Stormtrooper FN-2187, to just Finn the ex-Stormtrooper, to Finn the Padawan and then Jedi Knight, to finally, Finn Skywalker, Jedi Knight; maybe the last movie ends with one of them proposing to the other, with SW8 having previously ended with the climactic big damn kiss that cemented that they are a thing now. (Cue Luke jokingly asking when he’s getting grandchildren and How It Should Have Ended!Anakin squeeing over him getting great-grandchildren lol) His name would have this real symbolic value to it with how it changes as he goes from nobody to somebody. Not to mention “Finn Skywalker” is just a freakin’ awesome name. If they make up the leading duo, he and Rey may have some kind of inherent connection, or they progress into two parts of the same whole, even attaining something like a Dyad.

I thought an interesting thing to do if Rey is a Skywalker, and this is Cynical Rey, is a twist on the expected pattern by making him the one who sees the good in Kylo, not Rey. Because while Rey might be his cousin, she’s also a very distrustful person who couldn’t afford to think deeply about people act the way they do when she was growing up and fighting to survive. Meanwhile, Finn knows Kylo, and he also knows what it’s like to be determined to be a killing machine from a very young age, and if he has to forgive himself, or if he’s able to see the light, that Kylo deserves a chance as well. It would be the ultimate show of kindness from him, to show him forgiving the man who works so loyally under the same organization that enslaved him. I can also see Kylo being angry at himself for being unable to sense the Force-Sensitive in their midst. 

Maybe he was born on a “Lightside nexus” planet too so that it makes sense that he can keep up with other characters? Presuming he’s in his early 20s, I don’t think him being raised by the Order since he was a baby is that plausible, so maybe he was already an orphan? I can see the First Order spinning their Stormtrooper program kidnapping street orphans as “rehabilitating” them, which combined with good old Victorian style citizen apathy to street children allows them to get away with it. But if he was, say, around 6 years old when he was taken away, it would make sense why he was able to break out of his programming. Perhaps Poe showing him friendship awoke the humanity long dormant in him. But on the other hand, the younger, adolescent soldiers may be beyond saving, and I can see that being absolutely heartbreaking. 

I can see his fighting style with a saber being direct, forceful, and pragmatic, but unlike Rey the emphasis would be on engaging and keeping up the fight, and be very disciplined, calculated, and controlled in contrast to Cynical Rey. At least he’d attempt it while he gets used to the properties of a lightsaber, before there would probably be a lot of awkwardness as John is directed to swing this weightless prop blade with a weighted hilt like he would a club or sword. If he isn’t a Force Sensitive, he’s a good sniper just like in BF2, in fact this would be his primary combat ability, though still able to hold his own in melee combat. Though even as a Jedi he’d probably still use a gun as a sidearm, and his good aim would also translate to him being very good at spotting openings and spotting danger from a distance, as well as enhanced ability to dodge. 

Poe Dameron: Age 29 (?). A total bro. I’ve kind of come to think of him as this embodiment of the good, wholesome side of traditional masculinity. I can best describe him as the guy you expect to think of when you think of the guy who takes the boys to the bar for beers on the house and hosts Super Bowl night (for the Americans out there). Basically just that big bro/cool uncle everyone likes. I think he’s the least changed from how he is in SW7; he’s a laid-back pilot with no special powers, and while he’s probably the most static and admittedly flat character (and unfortunately more minor than the other two) he has tons of charisma and optimism to compensate, though being the one who keeps everyone sane definitely helps. Not to mention his piloting skills; which, note, are never eclipsed by Rey, because that’s dumb. His skills are a bit more downplayed here, but he’s still extremely good, especially for his age. Despite being the pilot he’s the most down-to-earth, and may be the only one of the big four with any social skills, even if he’s a bit dorky, especially regarding BB-8. 

Son of Rebel pilots, graduated top of his class in the Republic Flight Academy, and his background is squeaky clean, no drug trading involved, though he spent a lot of his adolescence and his adulthood in the Academy or in the military, just like in pre-TROS supplementary material. He’s the main source of jokes and wisecracks out of the trio in all but the most dorky of Fangirl!Rey routes probably, teaching Cynical!Rey and Finn what it’s like to smile and laugh. He still has a close relationship with Leia and Han; possibly closer to the latter due to the latter being a pilot and likely still a General. Not sure about him keeping his rank because him starting and staying at the top might mesh awkwardly with the rest of the trio, but maybe he’s still a Commander; whichever makes his inclusion in the main cast most plausible. Due to an adorable Pixiv comic I found he may have been inspired to become a pilot by Luke or Han. I’d like to think that he breaks the hotshot pilot cliché a bit by not being too overly arrogant, immediately setting himself apart from Han by being a wholesome guy there for his buddies from the start, even if he is fond of wisecracking and snarkiness (probably from hanging around Han and Leia), and inside that laid-back personality lies a hotblooded, passionate, unwavering core. Like, he’s not exactly hotheaded like a Latin stereotype (*ahem*), but he’s got this more subtle, but still apparent, underlying fiery hotbloodedness to him, something that especially makes itself apparent in high-stress situations and when it comes to his loved ones. He’d also be Rey and Finn’s mentor of sorts in stuff that doesn’t involve the Force, being their role model for what a functional member of society is. He may make some self-depreciating jokes about being “normal”, but I think mostly he’ll take it in stride. Though I can see him and Han having a chat about this in a more quiet scene. 

Ironically, out of the trio he could maybe be said to be the most suited to be a Jedi personality-wise, despite the fact that he has no Force Sensitivity whatsoever; he goes with the flow, he isn’t troubled, he’s happy with the simple pleasures in life, he’s just a good, genuine guy who does good things, passionate but not obsessive, and he’s forgiving, willing to give even an enemy soldier a chance, appealing to the humanity in him. The last one is particularly Luke-like, don’t you think? Oh, to elaborate on the escape; I still like the idea of him giving Finn his name (though another idea I love is a fallen friend giving Finn his name, that would change stuff around a lot from what I am thinking at this moment). I also think that perhaps supplemental material or some flashbacks, or even an animated short could be made showing just how Poe broke Finn’s programming; by showing him genuine kindness, because somehow, despite his lack of Force Sensitivity, he saw that FN-2187 could be talked out of his programming if he was constantly nice to him, befriending him, starting up casual chatter with him, and after a while the trooper starts opening up to this pilot. …Yeah, Luke-like indeed. Though since there is the plot hole of why Finn could be convinced in mere days and why he’s the only one guarding such a high-profile prisoner, a more realistic idea may be that they talk to each other this way a few times, then Poe escapes and Finn goes after him before they both crash on Jakku and have to work together, with Poe immediately being friendly with Finn and later Rey, to his (and her) confusion. (I can just imagine Poe being all chipper and trying to engage Finn in conversation, or telling him “Good job, sport!” after they fight off bandits or something, and Finn just is all deadpan and “We are enemies, we have no reason to fraternize” and I find that kind of cute).

He may ultimately be the most static of the main cast, but I can see him having a huge impact in more subtle ways; like maybe Rey and Finn think of what Poe might do in a given situation in their training, and he could be the catalyst behind why Finn thinks that Kylo can be redeemed, just like how Poe was able to light another way when it felt like there was only one path for him. He also definitely wouldn’t be the type to be so reckless with his men like he was in TLJ, if he’s still a Commander; he cares about his men a lot, and in fact they may be the reason why he tends to act like an older brother. I can imagine a pretty poignant scene with Finn where Finn sees Poe by himself and BB-8 paying respects to his fallen comrades by this handmade cenotaph, as he sets some flowers down and pours a drink to them, and Finn once again is able to see how different the culture outside the First Order is, as he would have never been mourned like that if he died on the battlefield, nor can he imagine he ever would have done so himself. Or maybe Rey is there too, because if this is Cynical Rey she’s only known a life where people exploited each other. Maybe other characters like Jessika (who he’s already close to I think? Did she show up in the movies though?) or Rose would have the opportunity to be more than background characters by being part of his crew, and we’d get some charming scenes about the bond he has with his squadron.

Again, admittedly he’d be the least deep character out of the big four, with his feelings not being explored nearly as much. But he probably doesn’t really hide his feelings much anyway. For any supplementary shorts involving him, they would be mainly lighter stories about his relationship with the OT cast and their families and his friendship with BB-8 and his crew, or action-y ones about missions he’s gone on; as opposed to, say, Finn, which would show his life as an expendable trooper who knew nothing but war, Cynical!Rey and her crushing loneliness and growing disillusionment to the world as she struggles to survive, or Padawan!Rey and her anguish and grappling with the Dark Side in the aftermath of the Jedi Massacre. 

I can also imagine him being this adorable Shipper On Deck for Finnrey lol. Just looking at his two friends, all proud, maybe even tearing up like “*sniff* I’m not crying Buddy, you’re crying!” when the inevitable big kiss scene happens. I can also imagine him being the one to tell Finn that “Hey Finn, what you’re feeling is love!”…And then he has to spend hours trying to explain what love even is to him lol. He always has his friends’ back after all. Again, he’s most likely the one guy who isn’t completely socially inept among these dorks. I’ve also had the potential idea that he could maybe be a good cook, and he’d be the one who introduces Rey and Finn to actually good food. Some fics I’ve noticed tend to show him cooking stuff probably for that reason. It’s just kind of cute, and it sets a good example if despite his traditionally masculine, salt-of-the-earth character, he likes some less “manly” stuff like such and sees no shame in it.

He may sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory towards the end, especially because quite frankly he may lose his plot relevance as the story goes on, though it would definitely be way more respectful than a lot of deaths were treated in the sequels. But I also want him to stick around because I want to imagine him being all proud of Rey and Finn after they propose to each other and giddily planning their wedding, and I feel he could have some very good interactions with Ben to build on for any spinoffs taking place after the trilogy. Speaking of…

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: AKA Yet Another Ball Of Lost Potential: Anti-Villain Addition. This is gonna be a doozy, so strap in. He was probably the most developed character here but that just makes his lost potential stick out even more, so I have so much to say about him.

About 27 probably. While people complain about it, I actually like him being a manchild. It makes him a bit unique in this series. It’s kind of like Vader if he didn’t get stuck in that suit and kept acting like Anakin. In fact, that could make him even more terrifying if that feeds into how destructive he can be; at first he seems like your typical intimidating SW villain, not even that bad a leader with a seemingly calm if tense, imposing air, but it eventually becomes clear he’s this terrifying, volatile berserker who can throw some of the most destructive tantrums ever, and is ultimately a pathetic, broken, pitiful shell of a man. …He just happens to be a very powerful shell of a man. Maybe if he becomes emotional or angry enough, he can unleash powerful shockwaves that basically blow up everything around him, or cause mini Force Storms, or cause any number of unpredictable effects. Though he’s not quite constantly raging either; these berserk states are indeed triggered by anger, but I’m thinking that they are also basically weaponized panic attacks, there’s a sense that it’s also a self-defense mechanism that he lapses into when emotions overwhelm him or when he otherwise feels threatened (though whether it’s necessarily involuntary all the time I’m not so sure; but while he’d definitely want to be able to trigger them voluntarily, there will always be some sense that he doesn’t have full control over it). Also a lot of his rage is directed inwards as well, much like with his grandfather. I thought that maybe his unpredictability in these rages would be the key to his destructiveness, though I can see how someone who is out of control would also pose a problem, no matter how powerful; so maybe this is when he becomes the most focused, becoming locked onto the elimination of the perceived threat at all costs, and/or he can be controlled by his Master more directly like some kind of attack animal. 

Luke’s first padawan, or at least after Leia or Grogu (I might make him show up as Luke’s first knighted pupil and allude to this, providing more exposition on Kylo, and being one of the Jedi who help fight in the final battle as the Skywalkers go on to take on the final boss (and Grogu’s name being revealed would be a massive hype moment in The Mandalorian)). Due to his storied family, plus the name of his uncle and grandfather’s own master, he had heavy expectations on his (at the time) small shoulders from an early age. However, he had long been tormented by the Dark Side due to an untraceable curse placed upon him by Snoke, and probably a pre-existing anxious personality. The expectations placed on him, or maybe perhaps just self-imposed expectations, only worsened his turmoil, resulting in a festering mess of self-hatred, extreme perfectionism, and an obsession with familial honor and obsessive attachment to his family, especially Luke, that is a nasty combination of hero-worship and the abovementioned complexes and may border on almost incestuous.

There’s three ways for his backstory to go; “Underachiever Ben”, where Ben is either mediocre as a Jedi or still good but outperformed by others, or “Elsa Ben”, where he’s basically like Elsa from Frozen, possessing an extreme amount of power but barely able to control it, possibly due to Snoke’s curse, and a sort of middle ground, where Ben was super strong and a quick learner, but the dark side in him made Luke feel mixed about Ben’s increasing power, which Ben sensed. If the former, Ben becomes increasingly frustrated at himself for being such a “failure”. If “Elsa Ben”, there’s that, and also the added pain of him growing up terrified of himself and able to sense the terror he causes to those around him, so he was taken in by Luke so hopefully Luke could figure something out; he could have been destructive from the start, or maybe he started to become increasingly destructive despite his training. If the middle ground route, he takes Luke’s mixed emotions to mean that he doesn’t think he’s good enough. How severe Snoke’s curse would have been I’m not fully sure on; he could have voices in his head and nightmares keeping him up for days, chipping away at his sanity, tempting him to accept the darkness, or it may have just been an amplifying of his already unstable emotions. They could have even started as the latter and escalated to the former. But I’m thinking that to best explain his behavior I’m leaning towards the Elsa route. Eventually, his nightmares morphed into repeated visits by Darth Vader, his grandfather, who told him about the truth of his lineage and how he became Vader, slandering everything and everyone he ever admired or loved, telling him of his “true” destiny, and how he should give up and embrace it; unable to hear the real Anakin’s ghost screaming at him to not repeat his mistake. This extended campaign of mental torment stunted his emotional growth in many aspects, and at times he may seem to regress even more. Maybe other padawans were afraid of him because of this dark side presence, avoiding him, and/or were jealous of him because of his lineage and relation to Luke. He often felt entitled to be Luke’s right hand, getting jealous at other students and taking any reprimanding, no matter how gentle, extremely personally. Luke would have needed to struggle between not seeming to be biased towards his nephew and giving him the attention he needed, especially because Ben would feel like Han and Leia abandoned him because they weren’t able to help him, but considering how attached he is to Luke this would hurt him. So when Luke went to speak to him one night, or rushed in sensing an overwhelming dark side presence in his room, and was suddenly attacked by Snoke with a vision of what his nephew would become and making him go into fighting mode for a split second, drawing his weapon to protect Ben, and/or earlier admitted in anguish that he had no idea what was tormenting him despite his efforts, the straw broke the pedestal and he resigned himself to his “destiny”. Ironically he’s just exchanging one sky-high ideal for another, but he’s too emotionally immature to realize this, nor does he fully realize the fact that Snoke merely sees him as a malleable, gullible means to an end. Yet he still feels that pesky pull to the light, and he becomes increasingly frustrated with himself that even as a Dark side user, he still can’t be “perfect” or “worth” anything, not even able to sink himself into the darkness and finally rid himself of his pain. For all the privilege and power he has, or because of it, he always feels worthless. 

Basically I want to break him down and make his pitifulness obvious, but that’s what makes him sympathetic. He’s nowhere as far gone as Vader, even if he wants to be, kind of like a reverse Jekyll and Hyde situation where the Hyde is dominant but Jekyll hangs on, so to speak? Maybe? Is that the right analogy? Or I guess it is kind of like Anakin but sort of not, but he’s rapidly going down the same route of hurting his family like his grandfather. 

From researching a bit, his proposed behavior seems pretty close to the symptoms of BPD, which is actually pretty fitting because I was thinking Luke’s philosophy on the Force would be influenced by a more modern understanding of psychology, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy actually seems pretty in tune with what I understand to be how the Light Side of the Force works (I mean it even has basis in religious meditation…). Perhaps a mystical version of DBT was one of the things Luke was studying in exile. Though obviously it isn’t exactly BPD; portraying an actual, named mental illness not only has way too much baggage behind it, but it breaks immersion. And with him a lot of it will be the influence of the curse, though I think I would rather him have a personality that made him vulnerable to it from the start, so the curse had something to latch onto. 

Going with the “Elsa Ben” scenario, his “real” personality is anxious and even a bit shy. While I like the idea of him being cheerful when he was very little, the shyness always being there is also a characterization I like. Combined with his lumbering physique from his teenage years onwards, this made him a kid who gave off an impression of being extremely dorky (an act that would probably be very natural for Adam Driver to pull off lol) and/or withdrawn and aloof, the latter of which may have made some other padawans think he thought highly of himself and start to resent him. Unlike Anakin he’d be probably a dutiful student, almost creepily obedient, probably actively distancing himself from rebellious behavior, though his way of speaking isn’t exactly super formal either because of the influence of the adults around him. In his obsessions lies a genuine love, even if twisted, of his “favorite person” so to speak. He was also a genuinely sweet kid who wanted to please these special people in his life. He could be said to be actually really selfless in a weird way, because ultimately he values familial honor and being “good enough” for whatever higher purpose more than he values himself. TROS implied some sassiness with that Han-like shrug, and while I can maybe see some of Han rubbing off on him like that, that might be something that started from him trying to copy his parents’ air of confidence, and another coping mechanism. He might, like Vader, have a 501st legion 2.0 which Phasma is in charge of and Finn is part of, and show a more nicer side to them. Perhaps he opened up one or two times to Finn specifically; I can see this image of him venting to him while Finn stands still like how someone might vent to their dog, not really expecting Finn to be listening (also sarcasm might help Kylo obscure his true anguish from Finn, because FO troopers don’t understand sarcasm probably).  

He will be redeemed at the end… and live. Even if not necessarily paired with Rey. I’m neutral on Reylo (though admittedly I have a weak spot for pairs involving a strong woman and a troubled guy, so it’s kind of growing on me), but I really think this ship, or even centering the story strongly around a platonic relationship between these two, could have worked if it was built up strongly (Though if I were to go this route Finn would have to be established as a secondary character from the start, with Rey as the definitive main character, to focus on this). But either way, he’s definitely going to have to face the consequences of what he’s done, make up for his atrocities at least somewhat, and think about what he truly wants to do from now on. I can imagine him quietly reading stories to younglings as Rey, Finn, and Luke train some other pupils outside, or thanklessly working behind the scenes in other ways. For his haters out there, I could make the pill easier to swallow not just by making the reasons for his fall and how he was slowly and meticulously gaslit more clear, but also making him not as awful. Yes, he’s extremely destructive, but he could show more reluctance, or pause after his berserker rages, staring at the destruction he’s caused as the weight of what he’s done sinks in. He’d of course resent that he still has mercy left in him though. I don’t think that there will be a Starkiller Base, but even if there was he might argue with Hux a bit over whether it’s really necessary, until Hux sneers at him for having mercy, saying that Vader never hesitated when blowing up Alderaan, and Kylo reluctantly backs off.

…Actually, what about making him and Rey cousins? On one hand, if Rey is a Skywalker by blood, a direct daughter of the Master himself no less, Ben is now suddenly freed from carrying the weight of the family legacy on his own. On the other hand… He basically loses the thing he has spent his entire life building his identity around; since his fall would have partially been because of his obsession with Luke, he may become jealous and extremely resentful of her, and/or take this as even more reason for Luke to not “need” him anymore. Or perhaps, he pulls a reverse of “I sense the conflict in you” with her, wanting to “save” her from embracing the Light and wanting her to embrace the “true” Skywalker destiny with him. He could even be overjoyed that he could have someone else alongside him to carry on the legacy with; in this scenario he could have an unhealthy obsession with her that might also start crossing into “are you sure this isn’t incest?” territory. Yeah it’s a “join me and we can rule together” scenario again, but it would be done differently. Or perhaps it’s a mix of some of those. Exploring that and how he chooses to take it could be extremely interesting. Maybe it’s resolved when Anakin tells him to “finish what he started”… not just by saving the galaxy, but by also living the rest of his life loving his family not as an ideal, but as family, like Anakin wasn’t allowed to. And platonic Reylo sounds nice too. Though that’s going to make all that shipping fanart so awkward lol. Well it’s not as if Star Wars shippers haven’t been cockblocked by incest before (though his obsession with family and extremely questionable mental state would probably make such shippers go nuts anyway…). 

And going off of Poe being close to his parents, while the main interactions with Kylo from the heroes would be Rey, Finn if he’s the second protagonist, Luke, and his parents, I can see potential for an interesting dynamic and some interesting conversations between them too. Much like how he might react to Rey being Luke’s daughter, I can see him being jealous of Poe and resenting him for being his “replacement”, but after his redemption I can see potential for seeing the start of a friendship between them in epilogue comics, novels, or a mini-series. It would be pretty in-character for my version of Poe to want to help rehabilitate his sort-of stepbrother. Also I now have the adorable mental image of Ben quietly helping Poe (and maybe the rest of his squad) decorate and arrange Rey and Finn’s wedding, or the two surprising Finn with a very elaborate bachelor party, though I’m not sure if those exist in this universe. And because of a certain Inside Llewyn Davis scene I’m also imagining Poe getting Ben to sing with him and BB-8. It’s adorable. 

Also if both Rey and Finn are the main heroes, he might have some kind of link with both of them, and the main duo would both contrast him in their own way (lonely scavenger who no one expected anything of and nameless trooper who defected from the First Order vs. someone who grew up in greatness but seemingly threw it away and chose to be in the First Order; and much like Kylo Finn in particular has been manipulated from childhood to do heinous things, so he may sympathize with his situation). Maybe he’s the missing piece needed for both him and the leading duo to reach their full potential, or the main duo are the last piece needed to finally break Snoke’s curse on him, or something. Or it could simply just be Finn showing his growth and strength of character by understanding and forgiving Kylo, despite him now understanding just how badly the First Order treated him, which makes Rey (who, again, might start as this super cynical scavenger or may have seen Kylo go berserk and massacre her friends and betray her Master) come around to the idea. In this scenario it may actually be even more important to emphasize that Rey and Finn are two making up a whole, so as not to bog stuff down. It’s possible to ship Finnrey and want Kylo to have a better ending, what a shock! 

Maybe Rey and Kylo could switch places, and he comes back to the light in SW8, which is an idea I’ve seen floated and is something that would make the story truly unique. He would seem like basically a less stable Vader 2.0 at the start, but over SW8 he could be seen breaking more and more out of his own terrible mindset, coming to a head in a cathartic realization that bring him back into the arms of his beloved family. It would also add an interesting dynamic that he and Finn have to be equals now. But that may mean that Rey would have to be killed off and I’m not so sure about that. 

Though speaking of her, since in all these scenarios a common thread is that she understandably doesn’t like him, it would be a bit of a twist if Finn sees the good in him but Rey, if she’s a Skywalker, his cousin, doesn’t. 

And to bring up Poe again, I also really like the idea of them having been childhood friends and thus knowing each other before the events of SW7; after all, they’re around similar age, it isn’t that far-fetched to think that former Rebel families would be still pretty close to each other, and I’ve seen some adorable fanfics with the concept. It also adds connection between them and adds even more tragedy, even if this relationship may have to be elaborated more in supplementary material due to time. I can definitely Poe speaking like an old friend to Kylo and constantly calling him “Ben”, to his irritation. The abovementioned feeling of being replaced could be what caused Ben to suddenly break off the friendship. And making the main cast kind of tight-knit like this might also help make the cast easier to manage. 

Granted, there is the possibility of killing him off, though. I heard that one of the initial ideas for TFA was apparently that Kylo would be a reverse Vader, falling deeper and deeper into the Dark Side as the trilogy goes on. In fact, this may have been where Kylo killing Han may have been leading to. This actually sounded like a super cool idea, but considering the backstory I laid out I thought it would be way too bittersweet for the concluding movie of the saga, and if one were to say Kylo basically has BPD… That might lead to some unfortunate implications. I mean nothing is stopping me from not using the Elsa backstory, and if I didn’t use it maybe this route would be pretty viable, but I’m kind of starting to get attached to it. 

—

Other characters:

Hux: I’ve never really been a villain person. I mean I liked sympathetic villains, yeah (but even then I preferred anti-heroes for a while; I’m talking like nothing beyond N from Pokémon levels of “evil”), but straight-up villains I just have merely seen as obstacles. Like back in my Smash fic days I was often like “Eh… They’re there… Because they want to take over the world I guess?”. It’s why I’m having trouble with Snoke probably lol. But for some reason Hux interests me. If I take a guess it’s probably because of the potential he had as an actual foil to Kylo in his own faction. He had so much potential as a villain, and in having this tense dynamic play out. In fact he does seem to have been set up that way in SW7. But yeah, I imagine him as one coldhearted bastard. His backstory, though not elaborated on in the movies, would be much like TFA supplementary material set him up; he’d still have killed his father, but while yes, Brendol was abusive and strict, Armitage didn’t kill him completely because he was a young man who wanted to break free from his strict father, but also genuinely because he knew doing so would be good for his standing. Unlike Kylo when he (most likely) kills Han, he doesn’t regret killing Brendol at all. While he might have a tragic backstory kind of explaining his behavior, it doesn’t bother him at all, while Kylo, who considering what happened to him and how he’s literally under a curse you’d think would have a much steeper fall into unabashed evil, is constantly conflicted. It’s a very Sith Lord-like backstory funnily enough… In fact I’m pretty sure that Palpatine had a backstory very similar to this with his parents.  

He’s a very logical, analytical, brutally pragmatic person, and he looks upon Kylo’s emotional state with condescension. I’m increasingly starting to like the idea that he’s somehow able to talk Kylo down, while still being hardly nice. Perhaps he preys upon Kylo’s constant need for approval from others, even if he doesn’t like the person in question (this may also be why Kylo reacts so strongly to Finn escaping as well, in fact. He genuinely cares about people’s loyalty, even from literal no-name soldiers). Though I can’t decide whether he’s this deceptively charming snake or basically an evil Spock. I also can’t decide between him being in this constant state of “Why do I have to babysit this manchild” or giving absolutely no visible f*cks around Kylo no matter what happens, or even straight-up trolling him often, toying with his emotions because it amuses him; preferably two or a bit of all somehow? I can see him using having met Vader as a child to mock Kylo for how much of a pale, childish imitation he is, or reminding Kylo of how much better he is as a leader objectively; perhaps that’s what he holds over Kylo’s head. Or him explaining to Kylo how he was raised by less than stellar parenting and tried so hard to live up to his strict father too… So he brutally murdered Brendol in cold blood (possibly with Phasma’s help), became a better admiral than he ever was, and got over it “Like an adult. Unlike you.”. They’d be in this constant state of delicate, tense equality; Kylo can easily overpower Hux if he pisses him off a bit too much, but Hux is able to walk that fine edge seemingly without much effort. 

But when he realizes whatever grand cosmic plot he and the entire First Order has been participating in this whole time is when, ironically, there would probably be a really dramatic villainous breakdown from him. It’s kind of a Zuko and Azula situation with Kylo and Hux perhaps? Or is this Hux more a mix of Azula and Zhao’s roles rather?

——

Worldbuilding stuff: Since I’m more a character person, there isn’t much here, but because the worldbuilding was another issue in the movies I’ll also be adding these.

The New Republic isn’t nuked in the first movie. In fact it stays there for the duration of the trilogy and the hero faction is now its armed forces, not The Resistance (Also that name makes no sense. Seriously. At least name them The Peacekeeper Corps or Vigilantes or something, or since they’re basically Leia’s personal military maybe the Organa Free Army or Organa Corps or something of that sort. No wonder people mistakenly call them The Rebels sometimes. It’s a similar setup to Chrom’s Shepherds in Fire Emblem Awakening, albeit with a better relationship with the kingdom; it would be downright strange if the Shepherds called themselves The Resistance despite literally existing with the queen’s permission, and it still is here. Hell, Leia’s Shepherds is a better name). There would be elaboration on the political stuff going on behind the scenes, and if Leia isn’t a Jedi that’s her plotline probably, though a big part of me wants her to be part of the action instead of being stuck on the homeworld. 

Meanwhile, The First Order is made up of Imperial Remnants and people and planets who were unsatisfied with the democratic but still new and fragile New Republic. Basically think White Russians if the Soviets weren’t also awful. It happens a lot in history. While it may have some mining planets in its orbit (not literally, you know what I mean) so it can plausibly refurbish anything Kylo wrecks with his tantrums, Starkiller Base is probably a bit much, and a lot of their equipment might be old Imperial or Rebel stuff, or stolen from the New Republic, with new stuff being produced but not in overly high quantity. Some of the equipment deemed less important might even be kind of crappy due to how old they are. They’d probably be at most an equally powerful faction to the Republic, if not smaller than them, seeming more like a terrorist cell. I don’t have much of an idea why Snoke would want to be involved in it yet though. 

But while the First Order might be smaller, the New Republic is hindered by it just now finally gaining its footing, and the military previously only having been used for peacekeeping and sniping stray Imperial remnants. Because it’s peacetime, it might have been kept pretty small, and also the military academies are literally not even 30 years old at this point, so new that it’s possible Poe, despite his youth, was one of the earliest graduates; one of the military’s most high-ranking officers is literally a scoundrel with no formal training - even if he is good at his job - it isn’t exactly a well-oiled machine, though its less rigid, casual structure also does benefit it in some aspects. Also the FO can easily use Kylo as intimidation, and its upper staff is nothing if not driven and motivated as well as ruthless. They may engage in more underhanded actions like sabotage and suicide bombers, or rely on small elite units like the Knights of Ren or small companies of troopers, to poke holes in the enemy just as much as open combat. And maybe if all else fails Snoke causes something really bad to happen seemingly out of nowhere. 

While I do think that making the baddies an Empire 2.0 is an… uncreative decision, I want to keep Finn’s backstory, plus it fits Kylo’s story too so blah, I kind of have to keep it. Plus I want to do Phasma and Hux justice. Maybe Snoke or whatever it serves turns into a giant Eldritch abomination and have no use for the FO anymore. And again, reactionary forces are a thing that have existed throughout early modern history. But as already mentioned, due to the nature of the First Order’s existence, maybe the Stormtroopers aren’t kidnapped, but they were orphans picked off the streets, and/or some more dedicated Imperial parents gave them their children? I had the idea that Troopers like Finn are “Junior Troopers”, the child slave type, while older members, “Senior Troopers”, would be legit Imperial revanchists and former troopers. Maybe there’s a separate company of Juniors who think they’re cool by fighting for the First Order, but generally Juniors would be the lowest on the social rung, though some might make it into higher positions, and don’t know any other life than what they have now. Though I also like the idea that Finn was part of an elite unit directly connected to Kylo Ren like the 501st, so he has a reason to be particularly hurt by his betrayal (but that could throw a wrench in the whole Finn was a faceless cog in the machine thing). They’re pretty Prussian in command structure; officers work under mission-tactics, but the rank-and-file are machine-like in their discipline, more than even some actual droids. The Republic’s forces also probably engage in mission-tactics a lot, except how far it is acceptable goes way further down the chain of command, so stuff like the Holdo situation doesn’t happen. If that situation were to happen when mission-tactics were to be expected Poe’s independent action would be seen as reasonable. This would have potential for very interesting battles and tactics, though I’d need a lot of help with those because I’m the furthest thing from a tactician you can find (but even I can tell the bomber scene from TLJ was dumb, which should say something).

I kind of realized that it’s possible that the four OT legacy characters may end up basically representing four major aspects of the New Republic; the Jedi (Luke), law and justice (Leia, if she’s a senator), the military (Han, if he’s a general), and economics (Lando). I think some worldbuilding into how the republic functions should be explored through these characters as they move the story forward, except for the Jedi since they’re obviously a central focus, and Luke might very well be introduced after them, and the military will also get focus for obvious reasons, and Poe exists. The information definitely needs to be conveyed as efficiently and organically as possible through the story, because there’s two, likely three, equally important main characters and an unholy amount of secondary characters who aren’t exactly minor. 

May write more later idk. I need to be doing other stuff…

[potatowitch]

finding out that the star wars sequel series was written on the fly rather than actually planned out makes so much fucking sense but also pisses me off EVEN MORE because i watched the force awakens in 2016 and within a day of leaving the cinema had a fully fleshed out idea in my head of the direction the next two films would take and the plot points they would cover, all brainstormed in the shower. 16 year old me was more capable of writing a cohesive storyline than disney was. so here you are - i rewrote the sequels to be ten times better than what disney actually gave us. enjoy.

- after rey finds luke they train for a bit then he's like "gotta tell u something. u ever heard of mara jade? she's ur mum" "wait weren't u two dating for a bit" "yeah" "does that mean ur...." "...yeah"

- "why did u leave me on jakku?" "i didnt. she did. i only just learned u existed i wouldve come for u" "oh."

- "...can i call u dad or" "i would be honored if u did"

- meanwhile at the resistance base leia realises finn is force sensitive, gives him her old lightsaber she had in the comics

- because come on. rewatch the force awakens and tell me that man aint fuckin feeling the "shitloads of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced" when starkiller goes off

- and he picks up a lightsaber and instinctively knows how to use it?

- also: two main heroes in a star wars film being a queer coded woman and a queer coded black man.

- and the whole "used to be a stormtrooper and defected, becomes a jedi" is a TOTALLY NEW storyline? not some tired old "white boy villain is a dick for three movies then suddenly turns Good TM right at the end" trope

- make rey explicitly asexual. she's beautiful and smart and got abs that make everyone who sees them MELT but she is NOT INTERESTED in anything but JUSTICE and PLATONIC HUGS

- finn and poe are also making out because come on, disney, if u wanted to show you're becoming more progressive having a loving interracial gay romance is the fucking easiest way to do it. BB8 has two dads and they share The Jacket

- turns out finn is a kenobi because u cannot tell me obi wan didnt Fuck. jedi code says "dont form attachments" but watch the clone wars - obi wan plays fast and loose w the jedi code at the best of times. now we got a skywalker and a kenobi working together being best buds again, THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.

- the destruction of starkiller has crippled the first order. don't fucking look at me like "the resistance just won a major, VERY VISIBLE victory but OOO no somehow they're still very low on numbers and infrastructure" NO. the public destruction of starkiller has earned the resistance an influx of allies. the republic has started publicly supporting them. the first order spent years building that thing and now not only is all that time, effort and MONEY gone, they lost a shitload of staff and military personnel when it blew up

- "the first order is rich" is a plot point I DO NOT UNDERSTAND because it directly contradicts what's going on in the expanded universe books. the first order was built from remnants of the empire that had been banished to the outer reaches of the galaxy to live out of broken down, shitty old star destroyers.

- it's the reason hux, who was raised in a decrepit old academy in the ass end of the universe by an abusive father, is SO anti republic. in his head, it's the reason he starved as a child. it's the reason his mother is dead. it's the reason he had to be raised by a father that beat him. his hatred for the republic is PERSONAL

- disney learn how to write a good villain challenge? hux EASILY could have been terrifying AND sympathetic

- hux and kylo now have to deal with how absolutely PISSED snoke is that both of them failed with starkiller. hux gets force choked and threatened. kylo gets snoke very painfully rooting around in his head. it is emphasised that snoke's relationship with these two is downright abusive.

- somewhere in there, they realise that the whole five years they've known each other snoke has been deliberately pitting them against each other and sneakily forcing them to undermine each other's authority

- they realise it was snoke's shitty leadership that lead to the destruction of starkiller. they realise that maybe they'd be better off on their own

- the two of them plot to murder snoke themselves. while this is happening, the resistance is happily building an army, gathering resources, and forming alliances. luke and rey have reunited with the resistance and now rey and finn are both happily training with luke.

- snoke dies. hux decides to take the mantle of emperor. kylo LETS HIM because he realises he doesn't know shit about fuck when it comes to leading anything more than his knights. has a crisis of confidence about how useful he actually is, then hux decides he wants to keep the knights of ren around as his personal "fuck up the resistance" squad.

- the two of them working together turn out to be fucking terrifying, competent villains. the films have short, five to ten minute sections where they explore their VERY SIMILAR traumas to make them sympathetic WITHOUT making them seem like "uwu they're not actually bad people" because THEY'RE STILL AWFUL GENOCIDAL MASS MURDERERS

- on the kylo trauma side: it's made obvious in the books that from about age 6 snoke has been in his head deliberately grooming him away from his family. make that obvious in the films. make its impact on kylo obvious in how unsure of himself he actually is. don't make his "redemption arc" one where he suddenly goes light side. give him a bastardisation arc where he realises his whole life he has never made a choice - and then make THE FIRST ORDER his choice. (it is the wrong choice! emphasise that! but make him MAKE THAT CHOICE)

- the resistance thinks they're doing well. they have two new jedi. they've seen very little of the first order outside of small operations that they've been squashing. they think "hm. starkiller's loss must have crippled them. we're doing well!"

- until they learn actually. they've got an emperor now. and the commander of the knights of ren is INCREDIBLY loyal to him. the first order is PISSED OFF and VENGEFUL. they're back with a force. they've started invading and subjugating planets even with their forces cut as thin as they are because hux is a military mastermind and kylo and the knights of ren are a fucking TERRIFYING unit in combat.

- also why did disney decide to present hux in the films as a weak pissbaby when he probably topped his class in all combat situations and fights dirty in close quarters. man can SNIPE. man will bite your fucking finger off if you manage to disarm him. he is a 6 foot beanpole and he will kick your ass

- kylo has a crisis about actually having to kill his mother, uncle and cousin. he still feels a bit bad about han - despite everything, he still loves them and is struggling. he actually confides in his knights about this. we get to see that the knights of ren have a found family dynamic with their commander and they comfort him.

- kylo realises it will be painful to murder the last of his bio family but it must be done, because he's come around to hux's view that the resistance and the republic are standing in the way of true peace in the galaxy. he actually believes that reinstating an empire is the best thing for the galaxy. this makes him a more effective villain because he actually believes what he's doing is right.

- more stormtroopers defect to the resistance. finn is there to welcome them and help them adjust. there's a couple of lowkey force sensitive troopers in there too. we learn more about how horrible, soul crushing and traumatic stormtrooper training is. this is a good way to keep painting the first order as an organisation that violates human rights and the geneva convention at every turn.

- the first order makes up for this loss of troops in picking up recruits from the planets they've taken over in the outer rim because they've been providing stability. again - it is SO EASY to write the first order as sympathetic villains WHO ARE STILL FASCIST ASSHOLES. this would've been such a good opportunity to show the moral argument between stability vs freedom. show the flaws in the republic because they do exist!! we see that throughout the ENTIRE expanded universe! every iteration of the republic fails in some way!

- the fight against the first order becomes increasingly more difficult, but they're actually on pretty even ground. it doesn't make sense to me that disney decided to go for the route of "the resistance should've been squished easily by the might of the first order but uwu kylo can't make up his mind and thats what saves them!" that is not a compelling storyline! they are relatively evenly matched and the resistance only JUST comes out on top!

- kylo kills luke in actual combat, not just "luke randomly dissolves for ... no good reason?". this hits the resistance HARD. rey and finn have to struggle with their desire for revenge. leia realises her son is beyond help. it nearly breaks her. she has a moment where she feels like she has lost everything. poe has to step in to remind her she still has him. it is revealed that he joined the resistance after the first order killed his family HORRIBLY when he was a teenager and he and leia sort of have a mother/son relationship.

- this is also a good way to juxtapose hux and kylo. they took their trauma and it made them awful. poe takes his trauma and it makes him kind. it makes him want to protect people from what he went through. also gets rid of the "haha we made the latino man have a drug dealer background" bullshit that disney did

- poe also has to comfort his boyfriend and best friend and remind them that they are fighting to make the galaxy a better place, NOT for revenge. then they have a discussion about "yeah, don't make revenge your main priority, but the jedi were a bit wrong in saying that you shouldn't enjoy it anyway. it's going to feel good to fucking murder kylo and that's okay". acknowledgement that the old jedi code was garbage and too restrictive for actual PEOPLE to follow it.

- kylo still can't kill leia or chewie. we get flashbacks of her singing to him, braiding his hair, comforting him after nightmares. we see baby ben riding on chewie's shoulders. seeing the conflict between kylo recognising his family loved him and still choosing to be a villain would have RUINED ME. he tells hux this, expecting hux to shoot him for it. hux understands - he had a mother, once. the republic killed her.

- (they actually didn't. she was an imperial slave and was probably left behind when an imperial settlement was being razed. the only reason hux actually survived was because he was his father's only heir. there's a whole spiel in the books about brendol going "this kid is a piece of shit bastard i dont want him" and imperial officials being like "the empire needs kids. go pick him up")

- hux decides to kill leia instead. he nearly dies doing so because woman is STILL a force to be reckoned with even at this age. remember she is actually trained to use a lightsaber AND guns. the only reason hux doesn't die? kylo steps in at the last minute and kills his own mother. he's made his choice. he mourns, and then he steels. there is nothing left to pull him to the light side anymore.

- anakin has given up trying to bring his grandson to the light from beyond the grave. him and obi wan are focusing their force ghost attention on rey and finn. now luke and leia are both there too. we get the same "all my jedi ancestors are rooting for me" moment that disney gave us, except now it's shared between rey and finn.

- the two of them plus chewie cut through the knights of ren until they get to kylo. he kicks the living shit out of them, but they manage to kill him. rey earns some gnarly, sexy scars. chewie needs a hug and goddamn does he get one.

- poe is the one to kill hux. he's not just doing it for the galaxy, he's doing it for leia. the first order already stole his first family from him. he won't lose his second family to them. bonus points if BB8 joins the fight and like ... tases hux in the leg a few times.

- we get some gratuitous "c3p0 and r2 are sneaking through an imperial base and fucking shit up but like, badly because 3p0 never stops talking" scenes

- you want to bring rose tico into it? she's head of the resistance's infiltration team. she's with the droids taking down shields, stabbing people in the back, freeing prisoners, stealing plans, sowing chaos. she's the one who finally takes down phasma.

- without their emperor and the knights of ren, the new empire crumbles pretty quickly. the resistance has taken HEAVY losses but they have won. we get a very beautiful funeral scene for luke and leia. there's a gorgeous group hug between finn, rey, poe, chewie and bb8. poe and finn smooch against the sunset.

- we see finn and rey going into crystal caves to get kyber crystals. poe, chewie, bb8, r2 and 3P0 wait outside the cave in the falcon for them to be done picking up their crystals, then we see finn and rey inside the falcon building their new lightsabers with guidance from a bunch of force ghosts. we get to see that rey has chosen to decorate the inside of the falcon with a bunch of potted plants so she can be surrounded by greenery at all time. the found family aesthetic is STRONG

- rey builds a saber pike. it comes out golden. finn builds a standard single blade saber that comes out white, like ahsoka's. gold to emphasise protection of the weak and the perfect blend of combat and scholarly pursuits. white to emphasise free will from both the jedi and the sith. it is emphasised that these two will NOT be your traditional jedi.

- we see an epilogue where poe is working to help shift the republic's focus from political squabbling to actually protecting its citizens. he leads reconstruction efforts, helps establish more of a presence in the outer rim, constantly fights for moving resources from protecting the republic's assests to providing food, shelter and safety to its citizens.

- finn is constantly by his side. we see him protecting his new husband, on the front lines destroying remnants of the empire and the first order, and using his combat prowess to absolutely murder slave owners.

- rey has taken to training new force sensitives with chewie by her side, however she recognises the jedi code has been failing force sensistives for millennia, and instead her teachings are more aligned with the grey jedi philosophy. she recognises that people feel anger, hate, grief - and that they are all valid emotions. it's what you choose to do with them that is important.

- she actively encourages personal connection, believing that loving your friends and family is righteous and the true path to the light side. her apprentices all adore her, and she is always there for them - she'll listen to their worries, from something as small as "i am 13 years old and my first crush just rejected me" to "i am a former slave coming to you after the first order murdered my family and tortured me. i am having nightmares and am afraid of the anger i feel".

- she encourages apprentices to stay in contact with their family, and she becomes that family for the ones who have lost theirs.

- you get the feeling that this time, peace in the galaxy is actually going to last. anakin, obi wan, luke and leia look on from the Force in pride at their children and grandchildren. they did good. they can finally rest.

- the sequels have made personal choice a major theme. finn chooses to defect. poe and rey choose to be kind, when they have every reason not to be. hux and kylo make the wrong choices. there's no flip flopping like a dead fish between good and evil until the very last second. the lines between kindness and freedom and hatred and subjugation are clearly drawn again and again.

- i sit in the cinema after the screen goes black and i weep. i am satisfied. this was a fitting end for a franchise i have loved for most of my life.

[theculturedmarxist]

My dad was born in 1917. Somehow, he survived the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918-1919, but an outbreak of whooping cough in 1923 claimed his baby sister, Clementina. One of my dad’s first memories was seeing his sister’s tiny white casket. Another sister was permanently marked by scarlet fever. In 1923, my dad was hit by a car and spent two weeks in a hospital with a fractured skull as well as a lacerated thumb. His immigrant parents had no medical insurance, but the driver of the car gave his father $50 toward the medical bills. The only lasting effect was the scar my father carried for the rest of his life on his right thumb.

The year 1929 brought the Great Depression and lean times. My father’s father had left the family, so my dad, then 12, had to pitch in. He got a newspaper route, which he kept for four years, quitting high school after tenth grade so he could earn money for the family. In 1935, like millions of other young men of that era, he joined the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC), a creation of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s New Deal that offered work on environmental projects of many kinds. He battled forest fires in Oregon for two years before returning to his family and factory work. In 1942, he was drafted into the Army, going back to a factory job when World War II ended. Times grew a little less lean in 1951 when he became a firefighter, after which he felt he could afford to buy a house and start a family.

I’m offering all this personal history as the context for a prediction of my dad’s that, for obvious reasons, came to my mind again recently. When I was a teenager, he liked to tell me: “I had it tough in the beginning and easy in the end. You, Willy, have had it easy in the beginning, but will likely have it tough in the end.” His prophecy stayed with me, perhaps because even then, somewhere deep down, I already suspected that my dad was right.

The COVID-19 pandemic is now grabbing the headlines, all of them, and a global recession, if not a depression, seems like a near-certainty. The stock market has been tanking and people’s lives are being disrupted in fundamental and scary ways. My dad knew the experience of losing a loved one to disease, of working hard to make ends meet during times of great scarcity, of sacrificing for the good of one’s family. Compared to him, it’s true that, so far, I’ve had an easier life as an officer in the Air Force and then a college teacher and historian. But at age 57, am I finally ready for the hard times to come? Are any of us?

And keep in mind that this is just the beginning. Climate change (recall Australia’s recent and massive wildfires) promises yet more upheavals, more chaos, more diseases. America’s wanton militarism and lying politicians promise more wars. What’s to be done to avert or at least attenuate the tough times to come, assuming my dad’s prediction is indeed now coming true? What can we do?

It’s Time to Reimagine America

Here’s the one thing about major disruptions to normalcy: they can create opportunities for dramatic change. (Disaster capitalists know this, too, unfortunately.) President Franklin Roosevelt recognized this in the 1930s and orchestrated his New Deal to revive the economy and put Americans like my dad back to work.

In 2001, the administration of President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney capitalized on the shock-and-awe disruption of the 9/11 attacks to inflict on the world their vision of a Pax Americana, effectively a militarized imperium justified (falsely) as enabling greater freedom for all. The inherent contradiction in such a dreamscape was so absurd as to make future calamity inevitable. Recall what an aide to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld scribbled down, only hours after the attack on the Pentagon and the collapse of the Twin Towers, as his boss’s instructions (especially when it came to looking for evidence of Iraqi involvement): “Go massive — sweep it all up, things related and not.” And indeed they would do just that, with an emphasis on the “not,” including, of course, the calamitous invasion of Iraq in 2003.

To progressive-minded people thinking about this moment of crisis, what kind of opportunities might open to us when (or rather if) Donald Trump is gone from the White House? Perhaps this coronaviral moment is the perfect time to consider what it would mean for us to go truly big, but without the usual hubris or those disastrous invasions of foreign countries. To respond to COVID-19, climate change, and the staggering wealth inequities in this country that, when combined, will cause unbelievable levels of needless suffering, what’s needed is a drastic reordering of our national priorities.

Remember, the Fed’s first move was to inject $1.5 trillion into the stock market. (That would have been enough to forgive all current student debt.) The Trump administration has also promised to help airlines, hotels, and above all oil companies and the fracking industry, a perfect storm when it comes to trying to sustain and enrich those upholding a kleptocratic and amoral status quo.

This should be a time for a genuinely new approach, one fit for a world of rising disruption and disaster, one that would define a new, more democratic, less bellicose America. To that end, here are seven suggestions, focusing — since I’m a retired military officer — mainly on the U.S. military, a subject that continues to preoccupy me, especially since, at present, that military and the rest of the national security state swallow up roughly 60% of federal discretionary spending:

1. If ever there was a time to reduce our massive and wasteful military spending, this is it. There was never, for example, any sense in investing up to $1.7 trillion over the next 30 years to “modernize” America’s nuclear arsenal. (Why are new weapons needed to exterminate humanity when the “old” ones still work just fine?) Hundreds of stealth fighters and bombers — it’s estimated that Lockheed Martin’s disappointing F-35 jet fighter alone will cost $1.5 trillion over its life span — do nothing to secure us from pandemics, the devastating effects of climate change, or other all-too-pressing threats. Such weaponry only emboldens a militaristic and chauvinistic foreign policy that will facilitate yet more wars and blowback problems of every sort. And speaking of wars, isn’t it finally time to end U.S. involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan? More than $6 trillion has already been wasted on those wars and, in this time of global peril, even more is being wasted on this country’s forever conflicts across the Greater Middle East and Africa. (Roughly $4 billion a month continues to be spent on Afghanistan alone, despite all the talk about “peace” there.)

2. Along with ending profligate weapons programs and quagmire wars, isn’t it time for the U.S. to begin dramatically reducing its military “footprint” on this planet? Roughly 800 U.S. military bases circle the globe in a historically unprecedented fashion at a yearly cost somewhere north of $100 billion. Cutting such numbers in half over the next decade would be a more than achievable goal. Permanently cutting provocative “war games” in South Korea, Europe, and elsewhere would be no less sensible. Are North Korea and Russia truly deterred by such dramatic displays of destructive military might?

3. Come to think of it, why does the U.S. need the immediate military capacity to fight two major foreign wars simultaneously, as the Pentagon continues to insist we do and plan for, in the name of “defending” our country? Here’s a radical proposal: if you add 70,000 Special Operations forces to 186,000 Marine Corps personnel, the U.S. already possesses a potent quick-strike force of roughly 250,000 troops. Now, add in the Army’s 82nd and 101st Airborne divisions and the 10th Mountain Division. What you have is more than enough military power to provide for America’s actual national security. All other Army divisions could be reduced to cadres, expandable only if our borders are directly threatened by war. Similarly, restructure the Air Force and Navy to de-emphasize the present “global strike” vision of those services, while getting rid of Donald Trump’s newest service, the Space Force, and the absurdist idea of taking war into low earth orbit. Doesn’t America already have enough war here on this small planet of ours?

4. Bring back the draft, just not for military purposes. Make it part of a national service program for improving America. It’s time for a new Civilian Conservation Corps focused on fostering a Green New Deal. It’s time for a new Works Progress Administration to rebuild America’s infrastructure and reinvigorate our culture, as that organization did in the Great Depression years. It’s time to engage young people in service to this country. Tackling COVID-19 or future pandemics would be far easier if there were quickly trained medical aides who could help free doctors and nurses to focus on the more difficult cases. Tackling climate change will likely require more young men and women fighting forest fires on the west coast, as my dad did while in the CCC — and in a climate-changing world there will be no shortage of other necessary projects to save our planet. Isn’t it time America’s youth answered a call to service? Better yet, isn’t it time we offered them the opportunity to truly put America, rather than themselves, first?

5. And speaking of “America First,” that eternal Trumpian catch-phrase, isn’t it time for all Americans to recognize that global pandemics and climate change make a mockery of walls and go-it-alone nationalism, not to speak of politics that divide, distract, and keep so many down? President Dwight D. Eisenhower once said that only Americans can truly hurt America, but there’s a corollary to that: only Americans can truly save America — by uniting, focusing on our common problems, and uplifting one another. To do so, it’s vitally necessary to put an end to fear-mongering (and warmongering). As President Roosevelt famously said in his first inaugural address in the depths of the Great Depression, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Fear inhibits our ability to think clearly, to cooperate fully, to change things radically as a community.

6. To cite Yoda, the Jedi master, we must unlearn what we have learned. For example, America’s real heroes shouldn’t be “warriors” who kill or sports stars who throw footballs and dunk basketballs. We’re witnessing our true heroes in action right now: our doctors, nurses, and other medical personnel, together with our first responders, and those workers who stay in grocery stores, pharmacies, and the like and continue to serve us all despite the danger of contracting the coronavirus from customers. They are all selflessly resisting a threat too many of us either didn’t foresee or refused to treat seriously, most notably, of course, President Donald Trump: a pandemic that transcends borders and boundaries. But can Americans transcend the increasingly harsh and divisive borders and boundaries of our own minds? Can we come to work selflessly to save and improve the lives of others? Can we become, in a sense, lovers of humanity?

7. Finally, we must extend our love to encompass nature, our planet. For if we keep treating our lands, our waters, and our skies like a set of trash cans and garbage bins, our children and their children will inherit far harder times than the present moment, hard as it may be.

What these seven suggestions really amount to is rejecting a militarized mindset of aggression and a corporate mindset of exploitation for one that sees humanity and this planet more holistically. Isn’t it time to regain that vision of the earth we shared collectively during the Apollo moon missions: a fragile blue sanctuary floating in the velvety darkness of space, an irreplaceable home to be cared for and respected since there’s no other place for us to go? Otherwise, I fear that my father’s prediction will come true not just for me, but for generations to come and in ways that even he couldn’t have imagined.

[star-linedsoul]

Do tell me more about Erica! What was her mother like? How did she end up in the military? How did she feel about seeing her dad again? :-D

Oh, boy! Thank you so much for the ask! I’m gonna try to avoid anything too spoilery-ish while I’m still nailing down plot points, but if there is anything you want to know more about, you already know what to do! 😁

Erica’s Mother: 

Cameron Harper Fun Facts

The Harpers are a multi-generational line of hunters, though not as far-reaching as the Campbells. They are a bit more well-adjusted, with their standard practice being to let their children live normal lives until age sixteen and then allow them to choose whether they want to pursue the “family business.”

Cameron hunts alongside her twin brother, Daniel. She also has a sister who chose a normal life and became a journalist (who has been known to feed unusual cases to her family if she thinks they need investigating).

As a hunting team, Cameron is the naturally charismatic people pleaser & tends to handle the investigation stage of a case before she & her brother work together on the actual hunt and extermination of whatever creature is causing trouble.

Cameron & Dean are never legally married. Dean does ask, but she declines his proposal (for what seemed like good reasons at the time, according to her). 

She & Dean initially plan to carry on her family’s tradition of telling their children about hunting when they turn sixteen.

During Erica’s early childhood, she is very structured and invested as a mother. She always brings extra snacks and drinks to Erica’s baseball games and never misses a school function.

My current face-claim for her is the actress Alice Eve:

Erica’s Military Background:

Basically, in the AU I’m crafting, after Sam & Dean reneged on the plan to close the gates of Hell in 2013, the demons began to organize and possess various world leaders and high-ranking military personnel. They used their influence to build political tension that ultimately culminated in nuclear warfare on a worldwide scale by 2025. With most of the major cities across the world reduced to rubble after multiple bombings, what is left has consolidated into various unified martial states. On the North American Continent, this is the American Alliance (AA), with their capital being in what is currently Oklahoma City.

As the years pass and the war continues, the AA enacts a law requiring every family to essentially volunteer one of their children for conscription and a minimum of seven years of service, with them being pulled for two years of training at sixteen, hitting the front lines at eighteen, and being released from service (if they survive) at twenty-three unless they wish to remain.

Knowing that the government will choose if someone doesn’t volunteer, Erica decides to go in order to fulfill her family’s obligation. This causes a rift between her and her mother, which results in her running away from home to enlist, unaware that she is entering a den full of demons that would jump at the chance to kill her if they were to learn that she is a Winchester.

Meeting Dean:

Though it isn’t part of her original plan at all, there are a lot of emotions involved in meeting a younger version of the father she hasn’t seen since she was eight. I think there is also a lot to consider and attempt to reconcile on her part, as the stern hunter she meets is a vastly different character from the father she remembers. I don’t wanna give too much away beyond that! 😬

Thank you again for the ask and for feeding my addiction! You deserve a Winchester hug, friend! ❤️

[letterfromtrenwith]

Prescription Passion - Ch. 8

Carolight Hospital AU

Ch.8 - Caroline Penvenen is a successful, capable doctor...and she also just might be an idiot.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

~

“Killewarren has been in the Penvenen family since 1621, when Rafe Penvenen was granted the estate by King James I in recognition of his military service…” Caroline let the tour guide’s voice drift off, only vaguely registering the familiar words about how the house had survived the Civil War and Rafe’s son William had sheltered royalists behind its excellent defences…Eventually the voice disappeared as the tour group reached the end of the corridor where they would go down into the old kitchens and learn about the ancient range and how many servants the house once had.

By some miracle, the Penvenen family had managed to hold onto their ancestral home, but like almost every other country estate in the nowadays, it was open to the public. Caroline had got quite used to the visitors when she was a little girl, creeping up to the section of gallery which led into the private apartments and overlooked the great hall to peep down at them trooping through, gawping at the paintings and being told not to touch the antiques by the attendants. When she was a bit more grown up, and given free reign of the house, she’d even joined in with them on occasion, playing with the other children or taking a bit of naughty joy in clattering around in the old servant’s corridor upstairs when the guide told their group it was allegedly haunted.

It seemed like another world, growing up in a house like this, something she hadn’t properly realised until she went to university, where even some of her poshest fellow students couldn’t dream of such a thing. She’d found out to her surprise that the Trenwith Hotel a few miles away had once been the estate of the Poldark family, sold off by Francis and Verity’s great-grandparents after the Great War, and that Cardew, now some sort of religious retreat, had been built by George’s ancestors. The Warleggans, having made their money in banking, hadn’t gone bust, however, and instead moved into a jaw-dropping townhouse in Truro, where George’s mother and grandmother still lived. Even George and Elizabeth’s gorgeous place wasn’t a patch on it.

The introductory speech of another tour guide startled Caroline out of her reverie. How long had she been standing there, staring at the small semi-circular window high above the main entrance? Thankfully, she was mostly concealed from those in the hall, unless someone knew she was there. Again, she heard the words about how long the house had been in the family – but for how much longer? Aside from the cost and effort of managing the place, she was the last Penvenen. Once she inherited the house – and she prayed that would not be for a long time – it had nowhere to go after that. If she had children, it would still be in the family, she supposed, just without the Penvenen name.

Of course, she’d never thought much about having children, and considering the state of her private life, it didn’t look much likely in the immediate future. Here she was, moping unproductively about her Uncle’s house on her day off in the wake of yet another romantic disaster.

Romantic disaster? That was stretching it a bit. She could hardly call a few conversations, one date and one kiss – God, a really good kiss – a ‘romance’. It was barely even a dalliance, to use a word straight out of her aunt’s collection of old Mills & Boon novels.

At a gentle nudge to her ankle, she glanced down to find Horace snuffling at her leg. He plopped his fat bottom on the carpet and looked up at her expectantly, his whole body jiggling as he tried to wag his little stump of a tail while sitting down.

“What, then, my precious? Do you want a walk, hmm?” Horace was generally a lazy creature, his preferred leisure activity being lying on the most comfortable surface he could find – aside from eating, of course. However, he seemed to like Killewarren, the gardens being rather more interesting than the plain little park around the corner from Caroline’s flat. It meant mingling with the visitors, but that was all right – dogs were allowed in the gardens so she just looked like another day tripper.

After he’d made friends with an Alsatian at the water gardens, been petted by and starred in the selfies of three young American girls, and weed on a stone bench right next to a very unimpressed old lady, Caroline took Horace on a loop around the large gravel driveway-come-car-park. They were just on their way back, Horace puffing and snorting in that way which meant he’d had quite enough exercise for today – or this month – when there was a shout from up ahead.

“Help! Somebody call an ambulance!” Pausing to scoop up Horace, who snuffed in indignation, Caroline hurried toward the voice. Just by the entrance to the estate’s old chapel, a middle aged man was half-slumped against the stone wall, a woman about his age crouched next to him. Caroline dropped to her knees beside them, setting Horace on his feet as gently as possible. She was vaguely aware of him tottering off behind her, but she didn’t worry. He wouldn’t go far.

“What happened?” The woman looked at her, bewildered and panicked. Caroline took hold of her arm, trying to ground her, make her focus. “I’m a doctor. Tell me what happened.”

“He – he just collapsed. He said his chest hurt, but I just thought that was because we’d been walking all day.”

“Does he have any medical conditions?” Caroline took the man’s pulse – it was thready and weak, but it was there. He was sweaty and pale, and breathing heavily. His eyelids flickered but he seemed barely conscious.

“A mild heart murmur, but it’s never given him any problems before.”

“I’ve called an ambulance.” One of the tour guides appeared behind Caroline, holding a mobile phone.

“Are you still on the line?” The guide nodded and Caroline held out her hand for the phone. “Hello, this is Dr Caroline Penvenen. I’ve got a male, 50s, previous history of heart murmur, pulse weak, breathing difficulties and semi-conscious. What’s his name?”

“Oh.” It took the woman a moment to realise Caroline was addressing her. “Peter.”

“Peter? Peter, can you hear me?” A wheeze which may have been a response, and his eyelids flickered again. Caroline handed the phone back to the attendant. Another had joined her and Caroline turned to him. “Is there a first aid kit at the front desk? Does it have aspirin?”

“Er, yes.”

“Bring it, please.”

By the time the ambulance arrived, thankfully promptly, Caroline had put Peter in the recovery position. She hadn’t used in the aspirin in the end, partly because he was not quite conscious enough to take it, but also because she wasn’t entirely convinced he was having a heart attack.

The paramedics agreed, and indeed once they’d got him hooked up to the monitors in the rig, his heart rate seemed to be slightly improved. Peter’s wife – Julie – held tightly to his hand as Caroline and one of the medics worked to make sure he was stable. Caroline hadn’t dealt with anything close to an emergency – bar once giving a girl at a nightclub an epi pen – since her foundation training, but she found that adrenaline, well perhaps not quite adrenaline but something like it, had taken over.

“Where we headed?” The medic called up to the driver.

“ETA 10 mins. St Neot’s A&E.” 

~

The maternity ward was blessedly cool – and quiet – when Caroline pushed open the doors. Quiet moans emanated from one of the rooms, along with a gentle male voice – whether medic or unusually chilled out expectant father Caroline couldn’t say. A nurse popped up from behind the desk, startling her.

“Sorry! Oh, hello, Dr Penvenen. Are you wanting Elizabeth – Dr. Warleggan, I mean.”

“If she’s free.” She wasn’t really sure why she’d made her way up here, but she was feeling a bit off and instinct had taken her to her best friend.

“She is. Or, at least, I think she is. Her and Verity are out in the staff corridor, last I saw them. They’re taking a break.” Passing several more rooms, the sounds of voices –cursing, cooing, the cries of newborns – floating around inside, Caroline made her way to small, discreet door marked ‘Hospital Personnel Only’. When the nurse had said Elizabeth and Verity were in the corridor, she hadn’t been kidding. The two women sat on the floor, backs against the wall, legs extended in front of them. Caroline pushed aside a recollection of the scene she’d witnessed in the A&E corridor a few days earlier.

“Caroline! What are you doing here? I thought you were off today.” Elizabeth frowned, sipping her cheap vending machine tea.

“Oh, I was.” Caroline replied airily. “But what’s up with you two?”

“Two breech births this morning.” Verity replied. “Everyone okay, but both mums stressed out as Hell.”

“And then an overly-keen dad with an iPhone tripped me up and I fell in the birthing pool.” Elizabeth pursed her lips as Verity chuckled. Even in her odd mood, Caroline couldn’t help a grin at the thought of that. Now she looked, she could see Elizabeth’s hair was wet. “I hate water births.”

“Poor baby.” Caroline patted her on the shoulder as she sat down next to her. After all the morning’s excitement, she suddenly felt very drained. Elizabeth looked like she was about to say something when her phone trilled and she slipped it out of the top pocket of her scrubs. Her face took on a familiar affectionate expression as she read the message. “Oh, love’s young dream…”

“Oh, shush. George is just asking what I want him to make for dinner tonight.”

“Handsome, rich, a doctor, good dad and he can cook.” Verity shook her head. “The rest of us might as well just give up. Elizabeth’s won.”

“Stop it. Here, watch this.” Elizabeth fiddled with the screen for a moment and Caroline and Verity both leant in to look. The video began to play, blurred for a second as it zoomed in on Elizabeth, kneeling on the floor of what looked like her living room, holding Ursula up in front of her.

“Go on, go to Daddy. Go to Daddy.” She gently lifted her hands from under the baby’s arms, but kept them close by.

“Come on, Ursula, come to me. Come here.” George appeared at the far side of the frame, crouched down a couple of feet away, arms open in invitation. Slowly, Ursula took a wobbly step forward, then another, then another, Elizabeth keeping close behind her.

“Go on, Ursula, clever girl.” A third voice from behind the camera. Morwenna.

With the encouragement of her parents and her cousin, Ursula tottered the final couple of steps, to be scooped up in George’s arms, giggling delightedly at her achievement.

“Oh, she’s so cute! And she’s walking early!” Verity cooed.

“Earlier than Valentine, although it didn’t take him long to get going. He went straight from first steps to 100m sprint.” She laughed fondly, putting her phone away. The three of them sat quietly for a while, apart from Verity ‘yeuch’-ing at the dregs of her tea, before Elizabeth seemed to remember something. “Caro, you never told us why you’re here.”

“Oh, it’s a long story…” She explained about her visit to Killewarren, and Peter and Julie.

“Wow, it’s a good job you were there. Heart attack, was it?”

“No, angina, by the look of it. He was looking a lot better when I left, but they’ve sent him to the cardiac ward for proper tests to get to the bottom of it.”

“Well. Still. Angina might not be a heart attack, but it’s no laughing matter. You really did brilliantly.”

“Bet Dwight was impressed.” Verity teased. Caroline must have made a face, because the other two immediately frowned at her.

“What’s the matter?” Elizabeth asked.

“Oh, nothing.” Caroline attempted to affect a casual air, even though she knew they’d see through it. It was habit, and a difficult one to break. “I just think Dwight and I aren’t destined for anything.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, him cosying up to a cute nurse two days after our first date might have something to do with it.”

“Dwight?!” Verity shook her head. “No way. There must be some mistake.”

“No mistake. I saw it with my own two eyes.” She told them about going down to A&E after hearing about the scaffolding collapse, and seeing Dwight and Rosina in a close embrace on the floor of the corridor. It had been pure instinct which sent her down there, remembering the slightly haunted look she’d seen flicker over his light eyes when he spoke about his time with MSF, and his reaction to the stab victim the day she’d bumped into him in the coffee shop. Walking into the corridor, she’d stopped short, feeling stupid and presumptive and a dozen other things; so she’d done what she always did when confronted with difficult feelings – she’d walked away.

“So.” Verity frowned. “You’ve decided to call it a day with a very eligible man you clearly like very much…because you saw a colleague give him a quick hug after an extremely stressful shift?”

“Er…” Hearing it put like that, Caroline recalled the off-hand way she’d dealt with Dwight over admitting Peter, giving him purely the cold facts before striding away without so much as a by-your-leave. She looked at her friends, at their incredulous expressions, and fought the urge to put her head in her hands.      

[reibertweek]

Reibert Gift Exchange Present

My secret Santa gift to Chuchu (@b00kcake). I’m not in town at the moment, but I wanted you to enjoy your gift on time. Please enjoy—Fea (@perfectackeracy)

Liberio, morning.

The sun’s rays make themselves shy between the buildings, barely able to make the mist fall in the street. The alleys were just as lively as the ambient cold: only a few sounds could be heard. While merchants were opening their stores quietly, others were staying inside their homes for the rest of dawn. They would get up to work while their Marlean fellows were profiting off their day.

Such is the life of a day off in Liberio.

The same thing applied for the military personnel. While the most cherished of them all, the warriors of Marley, had a privileged status, they were still devils at their roots. No devil needed a rest. Unless it’s for morning groceries.

That’s how cadet Reiner Braun spent his early morning before heading to the headquarters. As mornings were cold in this season, he headed to the marketplace, wearing a scarf and a cap, holding his basket and keeping pocket money safe, when the stands were barely set up. He’s gotten familiar with the merchants and never failed to get the fresher ingredients—that held the advantage of being rewarded with his mother’s delicious meals. As he was going back home, he encountered another boy, carrying a package from the drug store.

That boy was none other than Bertolt Hoover, his fellow warrior candidate, with a kind heart and tender eyes. Both boys were surprised to see each other that early in the morning.

“Ah- Bertolt? What are you doing here this early?” Reiner began.

“A- Ah… Just picking something from the drug store.” Bertolt scanned Reiner quickly.

He looked so different with his winter attire and stuffy nose. Combined with the basket filled with bags, leeks and potatoes in full evidence, he could’ve been mistaken for a random citizen minding his business. Of course, with the armband indicating their affiliation....

“You… went to the marketplace?”

“Ah, yeah! Just picking stuff for my mom.”

Curious, Reiner inquired, “What’s inside that bag?”

“Medicine. It’s for my father. Winter is coming close and…”

He does not finish his sentence. His father was chronically ill and the winter showing up means his health was at risk. It was up to the son to fetch some medicine that would allow him to see another year. The silence was quickly becoming unbearable.

“Why don’t we walk back to my house together?” Reiner proposed, breaking the ice.

Bertolt was taken by surprise by the proposition,but agreed nonetheless.

They walked side-by-side, on the pavement, while the sun was getting higher and higher in the sky. Eventually, the inhabitants’ roofs could no longer mask the bright disk. The colors already made the street more colorful. Bertolt smiled, admiring the landscape. Not a single cloud was seen in the horizon.

“It looks like this is going to be a good day to train. Despite the cold.” Reiner noticed Bertolt’s smile. “Better give ourselves at 200%, today.”

“Eh? You don’t want to take a day off?” Bertolt replied abruptly, “After all we never… have time for ourselves.”

Reiner side-eyed Bertolt following that remark.

“...Don’t tell me you want to slack off?”

“N-No! That’s not what I meant! We-”

“Do I need to remind you if we slack off, we’re losing our way to become honorary Marleans?”

Bertolt paused, taken by surprise by Reiner’s remark. Reiner was right about how serious the training was. Despite how talented Bertolt was, he felt rather insecure about not getting a titan. Any mistake, and he could sit on the bench.

Yet being postponed for the next thirteen years wasn’t a bad thing. What was so great about ending your life that early? Why wouldn’t they wait for thirteen years more and stare at beautiful mornings like this one? War was scary anyway.

“Besides… Marley will be able to help your dad if you get chosen, right?”, Reiner interrupted Bertolt in his thoughts, trying to remind him why it was important. Bertolt couldn’t deny the benefits becoming a Marlean warrior would grant: privilege, care, honors… maybe it didn’t only have negatives after all.

“You’re right… It’s just that-”

“That what?”

It would’ve been nice if we’ve gotten a day of freedom.

“N-Nothing.”

Bertolt couldn’t usher those words, not even in front of Reiner. Hell, the idea of Eldians thinking about getting a whole day off was inconceivable. Less of all Marley warriors. What they worked for was indeed a dirty job. But in this world, there is not another possibility to ascend in social status, or any other way to prevent your parent from dying an early death.The best way was to be sent as a soldier. Dropping everything off on a whim would be status suicide.

“Hey.” Reiner tapped Bertolt’s shoulder. “Y’know, if we get to accomplish our mission in time and serve our country well… maybe they’ll let us off. Out of the internment zone I mean.” He stared in Bertolt’s deep, dark green eyes for a moment before focusing again on the pavement, slowing down his pace a bit. “...so you can enjoy other frisky mornings like this.”

Bertolt appreciated the thought and slowed down to match Reiner’s pace. That grocery basket was weighing on the shorter boy and he was well-known for being the one with the worst grades. Bertolt let him win in certain areas sometimes, so he wouldn’t feel sad and worthless at the end of the round. The persistence he showed was fascinating, up to the point he would even use his strongest asset to impose his authority over the group.

“D-Do you want me to-”, Bertolt offered to carry Reiner’s basket.

“Ah, uh no. It’s fine, don’t worry.”

Sometimes he wondered what could push Reiner to go onwards. He told him it was for the sake of his family, just like him. But another, deeper reason was lying underneath: he wanted to become a hero, the glorified warrior who will save the world. That’s why he was willing to put his life on the line, willing to sacrifice his life, and possibly a part of himself in the process.

Reiner was truly amazing.

“...I don’t know how you can keep going like that.”

“Eh?”

“You said you were going to give yourself at 200% today? Even under that cold?”

Reiner paused, “Well yeah, I’m just gonna bring mom some groceries and get to training. Besides, it’s chilly today, but bearable. We’ll make it for sure.”

Bertolt pressed the medicine package against his mouth. “I envy you…”

“What did you say?”

“I envy you for having something more important than your life.”

The words came out of Bertolt’s mouth, as he was staring right in the road’s direction. It’s not the first time Bertolt made that kind of mystical and vague comment. Aside from his meek and gentle personality, it gave him a certain charm. Despite the two of them being friends, Reiner couldn’t understand what was going through Bertolt’s head. Starting with him sticking up for him and following him everywhere. How could some warrior prodigy stay alongside the big mouth at the bottom of the group? What did he see in the blonde-haired boy, exactly?

“Well, you wanna help your family just like I wanna do something for mine, so…” Reiner hid his jaw in his muffler. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

In these moments, it wasn’t uncommon for Reiner to feel like a pinch in his heart whenever Bertolt felt depreciative. Despite being the strongest of the group, he was still weak at heart. He couldn’t stand pain, despite growing with a parent constantly suffering. Maybe his mastering weapons allowing for a quick and efficient kill was fitting: his victims wouldn’t even understand what would happen to them the day he enters the battlefield. He’s supposed to become a warrior after all, and yet he lends a shoulder for people like Reiner: weak and underappreciated. It was still amazing, how fast he accepted Reiner.

Maybe he indeed deserved better than that.

“At best, we’ll accomplish this mission together, ok?” Reiner tried to reach his hand.

Yes, maybe he deserved more attention.

“We’ll be together, right?”

Maybe he deserved more acknowledgment.

The air was becoming hotter and heavier all of a sudden. Reiner’s surroundings were getting confusing.

However, he didn’t deserve to be left behind like that.

“Then why did you leave me behind?”

“WAIT-”

The next thing Reiner saw was his hand reaching the ceiling, his vision recovering from the blurry awakening.

Was it a dream, or a nightmare?

Reiner couldn’t remember the exact nature of the dream. Probably a mixture between a memory and his conscience guilting him, even in the most comfortable dream. He used to find respite from it when he was falling asleep, but now, it’s impossible.

Reiner peeked at the window: it was still morning. The first sunshine rays were coloring the sky a bright purple. He didn’t fall asleep for long, probably two or three hours. After his expedition on Paradis, dreams like these unfortunately didn’t last long. That morning also had a cold air. Neither freezing nor daylike-warm.

It’s just like this morning… Yeah, that definitely was a memory.

Reiner was feeling groggy after waking up so brutally. Maybe grabbing a painkiller would be nice before snagging an hour or two. As the new vice-captain of the warriors, his programm is a lot more different than the one he used to have as a kid. More responsibilities, more paperwork… It was dull for sure but it kept his mind busy. It’s not like any activity was stimulating nowadays. Not even the ones he used to do as a kid.

It’s been years now since he returned to Marley. He should be happy he came back in a single piece, as he promised years ago, but a permanent void took place in his heart. Everything he dreamed of was denied from the start, along with the lives of his team members. It was all for naught.

He couldn’t even remember how he ended up back on Marley’s docks. It’s only after the climax of the final battle he took note of his near catatonic state. During the first week break, all Reiner sought was loneliness, just to allow the tears to flow, just to calm down. It was the first time in his heart he experimented something as a permanent heartache. A mixture of grief, yearning and regret. The kind of sensation that would happen when Reiner was seen talking to a friend who wasn’t there anymore, or missing a shoulder to lie on. The trauma was so draining he ended up skipping meals and shutting himself down.

The young warrior kids were around and it was fun babysitting them, but it could never fill the gap left by his friends’ death. Bertolt’s in particular. No matter how Reiner felt, Bertolt’s absence always took a toll on his nerves. Life was getting so hard Reiner was afraid he would forget his pretty face, his large forehead, his prominent nose and most of all, his tender eyes. How gentle they were when they laid on him, as the tall brunette was extending a hand for him, telling him to stand up.

He still had that coat of his. He didn’t know how it ended up in Pieck’s belongings, but it’s the only recent trace left of him. When he couldn’t sleep, he snuggled against the inside of the fabric and breathed the fragrant leather. Imagining it was his missing partner, he whispered apologies while wetting the coat with his warm tears.

Maybe time and solitude helped him understand what Bertolt went through during all these years. What it was like to feel tainted and miserable. Time froze for him. It’s almost like he was reverting to the same loser he’s always been, before he became a warrior. At the very core he was weak and unacknowledged… something only Bertolt could understand. Something that he, alongside other things, should’ve confided instead of handling everything. But now he’s gone.

“I miss your face… and that voice yelling my name, looking for instructions.”

After taking a painkiller, Reiner stared at the horizon from his window. There’s still a couple of minutes before the call. No time to take a short rest. Even today, Bertolt’s absence still pains him. Not so long ago, they used to share a tent. Now… who knows what happened to him. Aside from the current war, no strikes from Paradis were heard yet. What about all these victims? The people he deceived? Surely they were going to make him pay, right?

His life was just like that now. War after war, he risks his life, clinging to that thin thread that keeps him alive. Whether it’s luck, Gabi or her friends. No possibility to move on, or hope for a better tomorrow as his life expectancy is getting shorter everyday.

That’s right… people like him weren’t allowed anything nice. Not after they’ve left not only their friends down, but everybody down. It’s only fitting they would be forgotten and abandoned. They were just that despicable.

Bertolt deserved much better.

Bertolt didn’t deserve to be stuck with such a piece of trash like him.

Bertolt deserved a position of vice-captain, make Marley stand and take care of the kids instead.

Only the sweet liberation death offers could grant him peace. Maybe there’s a chance he can redeem himself there. Confessing so many untold words, embracing the other for comfort, sharing the moments that can make the heart feel at ease, from the softest to the most lustful ones.

But for now, he will carry what’s left of their memories till his dying breath.

“Bertolt… Let’s be together again once this is over.”

[its-abroad-world]

Adventure #9 → June 16 & 17: Berlin to Wachau: walls, stadiums, and a mini-castle Airbnb

June 16 - Berlin (Day 1)

We were in a bit of a time crunch to get to the Berlin airport on time because my dad had decided to sit there while we got ready and only started to get ready once we said that we were going to be late if we didn’t leave right away. This meant that he was rushed to get ready and was driving angry, which can be really scary. Did I fear for my life as we sped down the autobahn? Most definitely. Eventually, he calmed down enough that I was able to fall asleep and woke up as my parents tried to find the parking garage that we would be dropping the car off. When we finally dropped off the car, my sister and I spotted my cousin, Joy, looking around trying to spot us, and as soon as she and I locked eyes, we ran to each other and met in a joyful embrace. Not long after, my parents pulled up with my aunt, Vicky, in the new rental and we packed everything up in a game of luggage Tetris. What was a 7-seater van turned into a cramped six-seater with me crammed in the back next to all of the luggage,

From the airport, we drove in the direction of the hostel that we would be staying at, stopping for burgers on the way there. I was so excited to be reunited with my best friend/cousin and for the rest of the trip, she was truly my travel buddy. After eating, we headed straight to the hostel, right in front of the wall in what used to be East Berlin, and dropped off our luggage before heading back to the center of the city to go to Checkpoint Charlie.

Checkpoint Charlie was established in August of 1961 to prevent citizens of East Germany from fleeing to West Germany and operated for almost 30 years. It was the only gateway in East Germany where Allied diplomats, foreign tourists, and military personnel were allowed to enter into communist Berlin. The Allies placed military police there to make sure that their officials had access to the border. The small guardhouse was a way for the Allies to show the communists that they didn’t think the Berlin Wall was an actual border or that it would be a permanent fixture. When the wall fell in November 1991, people from East Germany flooded through the checkpoint.

Across the street was a little outdoor museum about Checkpoint Charlie and the Berlin Wall. It told the story of the Wall and recounted stories of people who were killed trying to cross from East to West. It also had the section of the wall that served as the entryway from West Berlin to East Berlin. There was a stark difference from the West side (graffitied) and the East side (plain).

From Checkpoint Charlie, we walked to the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe 20 minutes away. German parliament decided to build this a central memorial site in 1999 to honor those killed in the Holocaust during WWII. The memorial itself wasn’t anything that artistically jumped out at you but the meaning behind what it was built in memory of was what struck you and sobered you. Walking through rows and rows of slabs of concrete built on a sloped wave, I thought of all the people who were suffered in that war, tortured, starved, punished for their race, murdered. I was reminded of the cruelty of humans and rampant sin and just how much the world needs Jesus.

From the Memorial to the Jews, it was a short walk to Brandenburg Gate and just a little further, the Reichstag Building. Brandenburg Gate was built in 1791 and during the Cold War, it became a symbol of a divided Berlin because it stood between East and West Berlin. This “gate” is where Ronald Regan gave his speech in 1987, telling Gorbachov to “tear down this wall”. When the Berlin Wall fell, the gate became a symbol of unity for New Berlin.

There were so many tourists when we were there, and while it was clear that we were trying to take pictures, people simply didn’t care. So we did what naturally made sense and blocked those people out of the picture with our hands. While we were annoyed, we made light of the situation with a classic cousin move of silliness.

We walked to the Reichstag Building less than 5 minutes away from Brandenburg Gate. It is currently where the German parliament presides and has become an international symbol of democracy because of all the tumultuous history that it witnessed and overcame (WWI&WWII and the Cold War). The building had been burned, shot up, graffitied, and more, enduring the tests of time and war, but was finally rebuilt and restored in 1964; the city has purposely preserved traces of bullet holes and graffiti that were left by Soviet soldiers for visitors to see.

After our time wandering outside of the Reichstag, my dad began to complain about how far we had walked and that we should have brought the car because now we have a far walk back to where we parked. Taking the hint that he was tired and wanted to go rest, we began the short trek back to Checkpoint Charlie where we had parked. From there we stopped by Berlin Hauptbanhof to pick up some groceries for dinner. Grocery stores closed early on Sundays except for ones located in the train station, so of course, when we got there, it was crowded with people trying to buy ingredients for their Sunday dinner. When we finally made it out of there, we headed back to the hotel; my mum and aunt went to go wash our clothes while my dad rested and we girls prepared dinner in the communal kitchen. It was just a simple meal of pasta, salad, and breaded chicken but it took us forever to cook (about 2 hours) because the electric stove would shut off as soon as it reached a certain temperature. It was a mess.

June 17 - Berlin Day 2

We had knocked out almost everything that we wanted to see on our first day in Berlin so after a quick breakfast and checking out, we crossed the street to some of the East Side Gallery before we headed into the main city to see the Berlin Cathedral before going to the Berlin Olympic Stadium. 

Unfortunately for us, the Berlin Cathedral, the largest and most important Protestant church in the city, was under restoration so most of the building was covered in blue scaffolding. We were on a bit of a time crunch so we kind of sped around the outside and the surrounding buildings and then hopped in the car to make our way to the Olympic stadium.

For as long as I can remember, my family has always had a love for sports. The Olympics is the only time we pay for cable TV, and wherever we travel, if there is an Olympic stadium or village, we always take the time to go. Berlin was no exception. It was built to host the 1936 Summer Olympic Games during WWII and designed to match the Nazi Party’s styles. This is the stadium that Jesse Owens won gold four times in the presence of Hitler. Since the games, the stadium has been renovated many times and is often used to host sporting events, concerts, and more.

We couldn’t enter the stadium without a guide so after purchasing tickets for the next tour, we entered the arena. Much like St. Petersburg, it was a slew of information as we hopped from one section to the next. We got to see the locker rooms underground as well as areas where athletes could hang out, but the coolest part was what was preserved of the original stadium. On the opposite side of the entrance, there are large stone slabs with the names of the winners of that Olympic Games and from that point, you can see the Bell Tower, which used to contain the Olympic Bell (now displayed outside), and Langemark-Halle. The guide told us that Hitler had given speeches there.

Visiting that stadium was one of my favorite things on this trip. I’ve always loved watching the Olympics and have seen countless documentaries on it. I also love WWII history, so to see both of these things come together, both past and present, it was amazing. When I looked out across the stadium, I imagined in my head what it would have been like to have attended and seen Jesse Owens run or to spot Hitler from my seat or to just witness the political ins and outs of hosting an Olympics during a war. It blew my mind.

When our tour was over, we began the long drive to our Airbnb in Wachau, 3 hours away. In my typical fashion, I slept the whole car ride, but when we did arrive there, we were kind of stunned. From the pictures on the website, the place looked kind of like a castle. It turned out that it was pretty close because our unit was looked like a mini castle, complete with a sword and ax bolted to the wall. That place was by far my favorite Airbnb to have stayed at. Ever. The place was newly remodeled and quite spacious. My only objection was the amount of bugs flying around, but everything else was perfect. From the kitchen window, you had a perfect view of the setting sun, there was an actual freezer in this fridge, and the overall ambiance was just so relaxed and laid back.

After dinner, all of us went on a walk; me with my sister and cousin in the direction of the country roads and my mom and her sister into town. My sister and cousin had taken bikes with them but gave up early 10 minutes later when they realized that these bikes were not in proper riding condition, so instead of walking around, we had ourselves a little photoshoot while watching a gorgeous sunset paint the sky.

Our night ended with bubble baths and wine coolers. It was one of the best days ever.

[tpltravelled]

Tony Rathbone - a few words ...

Having had enough of the beatings and abuse of my childhood and teenage years, one day I got the National Express away from Tees-side which, via a circuitous loop of Northern England, eventually dropped me on a cold wet winters night in Keswick. I stayed a few nights in the YHA there, and a few more at the Longthwaite Hostel down yon end of Borrowdale. Whilst at school we’d come to Borrowdale on outdoor ed trips, and had been told about Millican Dalton and his cave on the hillside behind Grange.

I spent the best part of the next 6 months living in ‘The Cave Hotel’, making forays down to Keswick to buy food and look for work. I did some labouring bits and pieces and eventually found work in an outdoor equipment shop. Apparently my attire and my general hygiene were a bit ‘unbecoming’ after a Summer in the cave, so the job was dependent on having had a wash, and having incinerated the clothes I stood up in. I rented a room in Keswick therafter.

It was one of the mornings walking down Stanger Street to the shop that I first met Tony Rathbone. ‘You’re the new lad in the other shop’ he observed, ‘how you doing lad ?’ he asked. And we nattered a bit, and went on our ways.

Over the next year or so I saw Tony many a time. By then he owned several shops in the town, and whilst walking between them, or towards home on The Heads, he would stop and pass the time of day with anyone. I learnt a while later that as well as being disarmingly friendly, he was also just keeping his local knowledge topped up. Who was doing what, what was going on where, who was involved.

One time I bumped in to him in the depths of winter and we wandered down to the side of the lake and sat and nattered, and he recounted being a kid and ice-skating out in to the middle of the lake. Fitness and resilience to hardship was something that Tony had in spades but didn’t seek to brag about. I thought he was impervious to the cold.

Time rolled on and I moved down to Hawkshead to help run the YHA, and then off to join the Army after a short time at Uni.

I was sat in Helmand, Afghanistan having a brew with a bloke about 10 years ago, nattering about the hills that we both missed, and what ideas we had for when we got home on Rn’R. My colleague mentioned that he fancies doing a long walk or run in the Lake District. One thing led to another and I fired an email off to Keswick. Years before Tony had put me on to a book called ‘Joss Naylor MBE Was Here’, the account of Joss Naylor’s traverse of all 214 Wainwright Summits in the Summer of ’86. In my email I mentioned that I used to know Tony Rathbone, and would they mind posting a copy of Joss’s book out.

The book duly arrived, and with it was a handwritten note signed by Cpl Rathbone. Tony had been in the RAF, and, having been told about my email, he started to write to me, clearly recounting the walks and banter we had had the best part of 20 years previously. All his notes started with Sir, and oftentimes he’d write ‘stood to attention writing this, Sir’ …. Sometimes he’d include a copy of the Keswick Reminder newspaper.

On one trip home on Rn’R I managed to book a small cottage on the road through Rosthwaite in Borrowdale. Arriving at night after a journey of about 7500km, I opened the door of the cottage the next morning and went off in search of a pint of milk. I stepped out the cottage and bumped straight in to Tony. ‘Now then youth, are you AWOL ?’ he asked, without missing a step. He’d taken the bus down the valley and was on his way to present the prizes at the Borrowdale Fell Race with Joss.

Despite being at war within sight of the mountains of Central Asia, I oftentimes yearned for the fells of the Lake District when I was home. A sort of hefting. I had broken the abusive chains and ‘fled’ there when I was able, and decades later would still wander to the belvedere outside Millican’s Cave and brew up and press pause.

I’d pop in to Rathbones and ask where Tony was, and if he was in town one of his sons would ring him and we’d have a wander and a pint. If he wasn’t at home he’d be off flying his paraglider, or, most recently riding his bike …

In 2014 Tony beat the Guinness world record and became the oldest person to complete the Land’s End to John O’Groats ride. He travelled with his friend, Bill Skipper, and the pair raised money for local charities completing the 867 mile ride in 11 cycling days.

I went up to see him later that Summer and we drove round to Patterdale to see the ‘Paper Bridge’ art installation in Grisedale by Steve Messam. Tony took some pictures, and I vividly recall his eagerness to stop and chat to anyone about anything and pass the time of day with folks young and old. On the way back we passed the old farm that he said he had been brought up in in the valley.

Not content with the previous summers bike ride, Tony then went the other way round (John O’Groats to Land’s End) in 2015, he rode solo, unsupported and unwitnessed, and therefore not recognised by Guinness, albeit he took less time and broke his own record.

It wasn’t long after that ride that he woke up on the floor of The Bank Tavern in Keswick having collapsed mid-beer. Then followed a series of emails from his son Paul telling me what had happened to his Dad. I believe there was an episode of many (seven ?) heart attacks in one night. Tony summarised it later by saying, ‘I’m a bloody Rathbone, I’m not giving up over a few heart attacks’. He then had ‘serious’ heart surgery in Newcastle and was sent home to convalesce. Or at least he should have been.

I caught up with him in March ’16. Having been given a training programme of several weeks long to do a zimmer frame assisted shuffle from home to the newsagents (Youdale’s on Main Street), he had, in Paul’s words, ‘smashed it’ in 5 days. A few days after that he was caught timing himself, and trying to get his PB done. Always with a Mars Bar hidden in his pocket like a bairn with sweets they shouldn’t have. He had the sweetest of tooths.

We went for tea in The George not long after that, he was funny, and telling stories about the town, recognising his friends, and chatting about his flying escapades (paragliding over nudist beaches in Spain with his camera !!). That was probably the last time I saw the bright shining lights on in his eyes.

The few times after that that I saw Tony his health and his memory were deteriorating. We’d sit on the sofa in his lounge and, well, the lights weren’t on, but we would turn the pages of a walking guidebook and you could see the flicker of recognition.

I remember always being grateful for time spent with Tony, more as a wise older friend, despite him being nigh on twice my age. His deep understanding of people and place always impressed me, as did his willingness to pass the time of day with anyone, and be genuinely interested in their story. Years ago he told me to ‘understand my soldiers’, and said that he had learnt that lesson from his National service and cared dearly for all of his shop staff, and took an interest in them as far more than ‘just’ employees. He was also genuinely interested in my military service and we’d often swap stories and compare notes about his service. A thing that binds service personnel is ‘the blokes’ and many decades later he could still recount his colleagues in the RAF, and spin daft stories and mishaps and capers that they, like all ‘squaddies’, had got up to.

I was in my office today and, grabbing a cuppa, flicked through social media quickly, and those Rathbone eyes looked back at me …

Rathbones of Keswick tweeted that:

‘Sadly, Tony Rathbone died this morning. A pioneering hang glider, pilot, cyclist, hill walker and a truly good man. Off for his last flight and missed by us all’

I can’t raise a glass to him because I’ve given up the drink. Doubtless he’d rib me mercilessly for that, but I will journey up to the belvedere at Millican’s Cave soon, brew up, and pour out two teas and unwrap two Mars Bars, and sit for a while.

Go well marra.

Photographs:

1 - Tony Rathbone by Robert Rathbone

2 - on the belvedere

3 - Me ‘ascending’ The Paper Arch by Tony Rathbone

4 - Millican Dalton reading the newspaper outside Youdale’s Newsagents in Keswick

[aaackman]

George and Arline’s Big Adventure

George, my dad, fought in China during WWII with the 14th Air Force, what was formerly the Flying Tigers, and Arline was raised in a military family. In fact, she was evacuated from the Philippines just prior to its invasion in late 1941. In other words, they were world travelers and had seen a thing or three.

When the local USAF personnel officer in Omaha (he was stationed there with the Strategic Air Command) asked where he wanted to be posted next, and he said Sweden, they said fat chance. Well, dad he knew a guy who knew a guy and low and behold he reported back to that same personnel officer with orders posting them to the US embassy in Sweden as the USAF Air Attache. If you’re not sure what an attache does, at least in those days, well it’s a little military intelligence gathering, remember it was the Cold War and Sweden is very close to Russia, and a whole lot of eating and drinking - the usual fare being an alcoholic beverage with every course, and this was old school, maybe 6-8 courses for dinner. And, of course, this is when smoking was good for you, so it looked like they were dining with a fog machine.

Just in case you need a geography refresher. “I think I can see Russia from the balcony!”

Prior to the posting they headed to Washington DC to attend Swedish language school, and right around that time the blog author arrived at Walter Reed Hospital in Sep 1960.

Not sure what type of clean room mom has me quarantined in, but this is probably right before we headed to Sweden. Upon inspection, I’d say my hairline looks very similar today. Lots of forehead.

So off we go to Sweden in early 1961, a newly minted family and multi-lingual. At least 2 of us were. The tour of duty was for 3 years, and we were stationed in Stockholm. 

In those days, I’m not sure how it is today, the residences that you were assigned or chose usually had a staff which assisted with household chores, caring for the family, and preparing for dinners and guests when it was your turn to host. I can’t remember how many people assisted my mom (Dad was gathering secrets), but by the end of the tour I spoke pretty good Swedish. 

Dad providing much needed supervision. Between parties, I’m sure. Nice cuff links.

Apparently, I was a runner, and even though most people would not have been seen in public wearing this outfit, I had no shame. A wandering I would go. I was once caught walking around the pool, very early in the morning, in my pajamas, having been able to unlock and open the french doors which led to the pool. Pool drained, doors wired. I guess mom and dad had been out very late the prior evening.

Based on the circumstances, zone coverage was not working. The defense had to transition to man-to-man, 1-on-1, whatever you want to call it.

Near the end of our tour, with me being very mobile and conversant in the native language, and my parents busy social schedule, reinforcements were obtained. Introducing Michaela Leopold, the nanny or sitter my parents hired for the last few months of their tour. Michaela was in her mid 20s and probably didn’t know what she was signing up for. 

Michaela, early 1960s. I wonder if Restoration Hardware carries that wallpaper.

Much of this is a blur but Michaela and I spent a lot of time together. Probably all day and into the night, since mom and dad were out carousing, most days of the week. And sometimes for 1-2 weeks at a time. It was a lot of together time. You don’t forget that easily.

Skip ahead and things were wrapping up in 1964. The tour is ending and replacements are being assigned. My dad’s been assigned to the Pentagon so we’re headed back to DC.

However, my parents have really taken to Michaela. She has become a part of the family and is able to aptly manage her young protege. I’m not sure what strings they were going to pull (like everything else, know the right people and things happen) but they invited Michaela to return to the states with us. Not sure how long she would stay but this was a unique opportunity for her. Live in America, do what she’s been doing and see what the chance offers. Unfortunately, Michaela did not join us. She had a Spanish beau, and was off to join him. Is that ever a good idea? Because my parents cared for her so much, my dad wrote a nice reference letter for her (yes, we still have it).

How come I don’t remember any of the training only the discipline?       

The tour ended, we went our separate ways, and we never saw Michaela again.

My dad and mom passed away in 1999 and 2014, respectively.

[ventingblacklist]

3x18  Mr. Solomon Pt. 2

Liz and Tom are speeding away. Tom asks if her and the kid are all right. She says she thinks so. 

“Reddington’s lying to me. I know it. If my mother wasn’t trying to abduct me, why’d Solomon ask for Masha?”

Well, technically, the enemies on the Devry map would be interested in Masha. So really it could have been any of those people calling her Masha that Liz doesn’t seem to be concerned at all about. But on the heels of the Velov information, I guess I can see why she would jump to this conclusion.

I wonder why she doesn’t seem to still think her mother is alive. So it turned out to be Kirk, so what? That doesn’t do anything to the Velov information. She should still be looking for her mother. 

Also, Liz apparently has no problem believing that Red would lie to her. 

Tom: Do you really think this woman is gonna hire a team of mercenaries to kidnap her own daughter? Liz: If that woman knew Reddington, she would. She’d know it’s the only way to pry me out of his grip.

Halcyon is using satellites to track Tom and Liz’s car. The tech guy gets them on his little radar and locks it in. There could be a tracking device somewhere, on the car or on the people. Or this guy could have just seen them escape. Hard to say. I’m guessing he just saw them because later he can’t find them because of too many exit points from the nursing home they run into. 

He calls up Solomon to tell them he’s got them. Solomon thinks they’re still in the church. So now he tells his guys to fire for a little bit longer so he can give chase and then get out of there. 

So we pick up right away; the cops haven’t even gotten to the church yet. 

Speaking of the church. That poor church.

I love how Red knows what Solomon is going to do. In the last ep he knows that Solomon will have his men out back and try to drive them to the back, so they instead need to go out the front. He knows that Solomon is pinning them down with his men so he can get a jump on Liz. Military strategies. 

Liz and Tom get stuck in traffic cuz of construction. So the dude sends Solomon their fixed position. I love the little thing where everyone’s honking at them to congratulate them on getting married. 

Red calls Liz. 

Red promised to tell her what he knows once he knows she’s safe. So Liz tries to hold him to that. Red just tells her to have Tom drive her to a guy he knows that will provide safe haven and get her off the street. Liz is annoyed. Says she’ll take it under advisement, just in time for Solomon to sideswipe them. 

Liz takes Tom’s gun and fires cuz they won’t shoot her. She’s hanging out the window while they’re going around curves. Tom’s driving skills leave much to be desired. Maybe chalk it up to the old car, but he’s not going very fast. 

I swear, it looks like he just rams right into that truck without even stomping on the brakes. Probably just the way they shot it, but still. 

Seems symbolic somehow.

Something get screwed up with Liz after that wreck. 

Liz: Oh, my God. We’re terrible parents.

... Well, you da one dat said it.

They evade Solomon for the moment. Tech guy warns Solomon that the cops are coming, so he skedaddles. But Liz is bleeding. 

The task force tries to figure out who attacked the church. The only clue Halcyon left behind is the earpiece from the dude Dembe fought. 

Tom gets Liz to a hospital. 

Halcyon tech dude warns Solomon that the cops are 40 seconds out. He can’t find “tango” cuz of too many exit points from the nursing home. But Solomon notices the blood on the seat and asks for the location of the nearest hospital.

The bleeding stops on its own. The baby’s heartbeat seems fine, but they’re getting someone down to take another look. Later a hospital report will say that they suspect a placental...something or other that Nik will also say happened. 

Red calls. He’s in front of where they were supposed to go and, obviously, they’re not there. Liz says she doesn’t want to talk to him. They’re both pissed at Reddington and I don’t really understand why. Considering that Reddington just saved their very ungrateful butts.

Red: I can’t protect you in a hospital. Liz: You can’t protect me in a church, either.

Red: Let me rephrase that. I cannot safeguard you and the dozens of innocent patients and medical personnel who’ll be caught in the crossfire when Solomon and his storm troopers put together where you are.

“I know how desperately you want to protect your baby, Lizzy. So think.”

Maybe Liz is still pissed that Red wouldn’t just let her walk out of the church? But Tom was against it too.

I’m just trying to figure these people out.

I know he’s a war criminal who’s recklessly tracking down an injured pregnant lady, but he’s just. so. pretty.

Kaplan picks Liz up out back of the hospital. Liz is obviously not thrilled at the thought of being ushered to some warehouse with a rent-an-ER. 

Her water breaks. And she’s panicking a bit. 

Liz: Because I let a fugitive, a killer, a sociopath into my life…now I am being hunted by God knows who’s chasing me, but they’ve got body armor and assault rifles, and I have to give birth to my child– to a baby!– in a filthy warehouse!

Kaplan: It’s a nightclub. Liz: Is that supposed to make me feel better? Kaplan: No, it’s not. Your baby deserves more than we can provide.

Liz is basically echoing back to Kaplan what she warned Red about pre-pilot. You do this, you enter her life, and you’ll ruin it.

To Kaplan’s mind, all her fears have come true. So Kaplan is going to remedy the situation, get Reddington out of her life, or get Liz out of Reddington’s. 

I could go on ad nauseum about how ridiculous Liz sounds going on about this while sitting next to Tom, the dude who necessitated the whole thing in the first place, but I feel like that’s already been covered approximately ten billion times. 

Suffice it to say, Liz is panicking and Kate is deciding to take matters into her own hands. 

So Nik is an ER physician trained to handle emergencies in all the specialties, including childbirth ones. 

Reddington’s got a whole bunch of soldiers at the nightclub now. They’re safe as long as they stay there. They only run into Solomon trouble when they “have” to move Liz back to a hospital.

Cooper’s on the phone with Red, demanding to know where Liz is. Red won’t tell him, says that whoever hired Solomon knows too much. May be listening in to their conversation.

Red hangs up and walks over in time to catch Kaplan asking Nik if he can do the death faking thing. They make it sound like they were talking about the C-section instead. 

Nik is scrubbing up. 

“She suffered a placental abruption, likely from the crash. It’s when the placenta rips away from the walls of the uterus. As a result, the baby’s not getting enough oxygen. The heart rate is plummeting. If I don’t perform an emergency C-section in the next 10 minutes, her baby’s going to die.”

Meanwhile the task force tries to track down the manufacturer of the earpiece. No luck. But they did find a partial print on the battery inside. An Iraq war vet who has been missing, presumed dead. His wife is still alive, so they go visit her. 

Red is tense and worried as they prepare to get the baby out. Obviously terrified the kid’s gonna die.

Dembe comes over with a status report. 

“Perimeter defense is in place – exits, rooftops, and lookouts on all avenues of approach for a six-block radius. ...Everything will be fine, Raymond.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Dembe, spare me the mystical reassurance. Everything is not fine. Where the hell was the perimeter defense at that damn church? You should have deployed four teams, five teams. Look at her lying there in this barbaric situation with her child’s life at risk. Everything is not fine.”

“She never should have been at that Godforsaken church-” 

“Stop it, Raymond! This has little to do with Dembe and nothing to do with that poor girl in there. She’s been telling you for months that you’re a danger to her baby.”

“This is on you, Raymond. Nobody else.”

“You were wrong to make her believe you could keep her safe. You made us all believe.”

...Kinda hard to keep someone safe who refuses to believe they’re in danger and bucks like a bronco every time you try to offer them a smidgen of security. 

So Kaplan has no concept of who is coming or why. It seems. She seems to assume that whoever is after Liz is after her because of Reddington. 

Halcyon tech dude tells Solomon about some fresh hospital intel on a patient who came in. Suspected placental abruption, etc... Solomon says she can’t be far away. 

They prep Liz for surgery. And I’m just gonna pretend this record-playing scene didn’t happen.

And baby born. Yay!

Liz wants to name her Agnes. Thankfully my co-worker made this tolerable by dubbing her “Aguhniss.”

“It was Sam’s mother’s name. He’s the only family I ever knew.”

I don’t rewatch these eps often, so I’d forgotten about that. Nice that they mentioned Sam here. They don’t mention him often enough for my taste. 

So basically it was her grandmother’s name. She was adopted, but if he’s dad, she’s grandma. 

“But with babies, everything that’s old is new again.”

It certainly is for Kaplan. 

Red: Congratulations, Elizabeth. May I see her? Liz: No. Get out. Please, go away. Make him go away.

Tom: It’s been a long day. She’s had a lot of drugs. Liz: It’s not the drugs. This is my daughter. I’m begging you.

Okay, at this point the writers are kicking Red in the balls just for the sake of kicking him in the balls. Spader is terrific at playing kicked puppy, so on a level I don’t really blame them.

Kaplan tells Red to wait outside, that she’ll talk to Liz. Making it seem like she’s being comforting, like she’ll calm Liz down. Really, she’s going in to convince Liz and Tom of her plan. 

Everything from this point on is for Red’s benefit.

Kaplan’s pitch: “I know you’re afraid, sweetie. You should be. Agnes will never be safe in Raymond’s world. The question is, how far are you willing to go to protect her?” 

They find the earpiece soldier’s wife. He’s been gone for years. But every year on her anniversary she gets a phone call. No one talks, but she can hear breathing. Aram traced her phone records and finds the pay phone those calls were made from. The phone calls were paid for with calling cards. The same account that paid the calling card bills paid for a house. 

The house has been under the ownership of a single person for 20 years, but the owner is an alias. 

“Those cables belong to a cross-country fiber-optic network. Whoever tapped them can intercept digital communications across half the eastern seaboard.”

Halcyon tech guy shuts off whatever’s going on at that house. There’s a camera and he’s watching Samar on it. 

“Team Leader, one of your men was just compromised. His tactical error just led the FBI to one of our fiber taps. And due to inherent security risks, he cannot be allowed to remain in the field.... I believe he lost his EarCom.”

Solomon shoots the soldier.

Interesting windows into how Halcyon works. Apparently their soldiers don’t go home on the weekends. Or ever. This guy has been missing to the world for years. And this house has been owned by Halcyon for 20 years. Used as a data node. They’ve tapped into the digital communications of at least half of the Eastern seaboard. And errors carry the death penalty.

Nice little company they’ve got there. 

Red apologizes to Dembe for snapping at him earlier. He starts going out to get some air, but Liz starts to go crazy and he comes back. She can’t breathe. 

So in the last couple minutes Kaplan has talked Liz and Tom into this plan and here we go with the beginning stages of it. Liz “can’t breathe.”

Nik says they need to induce a medical coma so they can control her breathing, but they don’t have the right equipment. Tom is all teary-eyed. Red says to talk to Kaplan about it. 

Liz and Tom have a conversation that’s obviously about the fake death.

Tom: Liz, you can do this. When you wake up, I’m gonna take you away from here. We’re gonna be lying on a beach under the sun. Just you, me, and our little baby girl. I promise you.

Liz: If things go sideways, you’re gonna take our baby to that beach, right? Tom: Don’t say that. They won’t go sideways. We have too much to look forward to.

Nik comes in to put her under. Liz decides to “say goodbye” to Reddington. And maybe try to explain in her own way why she’s doing this. Although he, of course, doesn’t realize what she’s doing.

She waves him in and pushes the nurse’s oxygen mask away.

Liz: I’m sorry I kicked you out. It wasn’t fair after all you’ve done for me. Red: I’ve done nothing for you, Lizzy.

“I’m scared for my little girl.”

They give her the meds.

"It’s the children whom the world almost breaks who grow up to save it.”

“I don’t want that for her.”

"I wasn’t talking about her. I was talking about you, Elizabeth.” 

"Raymond. I do love…”

The world almost broke young Liz, but she grew up to be an FBI agent. Captured criminals on her own and then, while working with Red, literally saved the world a time or two. 

In her own way she’s telling him why she’s doing it, that it ain’t cuz she doesn’t love him or anything. But if all goes well, this is the last time Liz will ever see him.

Nik says her lungs are too damaged, he needs a machine at the hospital and there’s no time to get it there. Red arranges to get them to the hospital. Kaplan mentions that Solomon will find them. In the finale she says that what they were going to do would make Liz’s vital signs undetectable in good circumstances, let alone with a firefight raging outside. So maybe she counts on the chaos. 

Red insists that Tom stay behind and protect Agnes. He loads his gun for him.

“She’d insist you stay and protect her child. You’re a father now.”

Red leaves a protective detail there too. A large one. If Tom was planning to leave right away with the kid, that plan ain’t gonna work. Although I doubt that was the plan, if they actually wanted Red to buy this whole thing. 

I don’t think Tom thought that Red would let him go. His move out of the little hospital room and his thing with the gun seems too calculated for that. I think he knew Red would tell him to stay behind.

Red calls up Cooper and tells him they’re on their way to the hospital. They don’t have time to wait for an escort, the escort will have to meet them on the way. They’ll be duck hunting. This is code for ‘there will be a decoy.’ 

Halcyon tech dude tells Solomon about an ambulance going at high speed in an area where none have been officially dispatched. He can’t say exactly which route they’re on because the data node in the house was shut down and he has blind spots. Solomon sends his guys to intercept. 

Really stupid. Let the girl get to a hospital for pete’s sake. You’re supposed to be trying to take her alive. 

Aram is also tracking them, sending Ressler and Samar there. Halcyon tech guy finally gets exact coordinates and their people get there first. But it’s a decoy. Halcyon tech guy monitors a lot of satellites to try and find them again. 

Samar asks what Cooper meant by duck hunting. Ressler says it means they’re using a decoy. 

Nik says they have to get her on bypass in a few minutes or they’ll lose her. And then Solomon is standing in the road. That’s the moment Red is honestly afraid they might lose her. 

“Oh, my God.”

The scene where they’re losing her... I mean, seriously, perfectly done. The editing is great, the sound, everything. It’s mesmerizing. Analysis dies down and you just have to shut up and watch it. 

Nik: I’m losing her. Red: No, you’re not.

“Come on, Lizzy. Please, don’t go.”

“Please, don’t go.”

*sniff* *sniff* She just never listens to him. *sniff*

Not much to comment on. Except, again, perfection. Ressler is perfect. Samar. Dembe. Red. I guess even Liz. 

Ressler thinks to take off his jacket to disguise Red so he can get away from the cops.

Red turns to Kaplan to keep Elizabeth out of the morgue. Again turning to his friend in this “crisis” that she’s created. Him asking her to do this only makes it easier for her to deceive him.

“I got you.”

The camera catches Kaplan talking to Nik while he collects himself. 

Red and Dembe go back to the night club. Tom has already gotten the news. He’s crying. Putting on a great act. 

“I can’t do this alone. Without her... I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ll learn fast.” 

It’s love at first hold. 

[declarations-ofa-citizen-blog]

Army, Truths and Lies

Founded in 1775 to help a blooming nation fight for independence, the United States Army has been a constant force in our country. Throughout the years, the Army name has been raised, degraded and approached with caution. With those changes in public opinion comes many different thoughts, some founded and some not. So in honor of our branch’s 242 birthday, I will approach some common public thoughts on the Army and say which ones are true, false, or misconceptions.

 The Army Gets Paid A Lot At A High Rate

Verdict: Misconception

“They give you $100 and take back $99!” - “They Say That In The Army…” Cadence

 When looking at our Leave Earning Statement (LES), I can see where this comes from. Our base pay is pretty high for starting rates but this thought is not entirely true. See, that pay is mostly just for show. In the Army, we have items that are mandatory to pay. Our SGI Bill (life insurance, will, etc.), TriCare, Federal Tax, State Tax (certain states do not tax military though) and FICA Tax. Also, at least once a fiscal year we have a mandatory charity donation automatically withdrawn from our pay at our commander’s say.

Keep in mind, military personnel are also salary employees. This means that no matter how many hours we work, four to five, five to 2000, seven to 12, etc., we get paid a constant amount. On days where we work little, this is great. For those days where we work long hours that would get us more money as hourly workers, it’s a drag. That $240 looks pretty good until you see how many hours you actually worked.

Don’t even get me started on being a reservist that can’t find a job in the civilian world. One day pay will kill you when your two bills cost $110 but you only get paid $94.46 for that month. That is keeping in mind that I have no dependents, no house or apartment to pay for (until August), or college to pay for (again, not until August).

So yeah, our pay may seem a lot but most of it goes towards mandatory purchases. New rank patches, DFac meals (automatically taken from our pay when at Basic Combat Training (BCT) and AIT (Advanced Individual Training), new uniforms when they get updated, and more.

 Most Soldiers Are Conservatives or Republicans

Verdict: False

“You don’t have to be straight to be in the military. You just have to be able to shoot straight,” - Barry Goldwater, former State Senator

 How this thought came to be, I will never know. The Army is just as diverse as any other workplace. I think people would be surprised at how many soldiers dislike President Trump. Not that anyone would mention it as he is our Commander in Chief and we can get an Article 15 (similar to being written up for doing bad) for what we say. Just a small tid bit, most soldiers dislike presidents who have no background in any military branch.

There are plenty of new and old soldiers who do not believe in what Conservatives or Republicans say. There are those who do though and that is, obviously, their right.

The Army Soldiers Are Always Willing To Help

Verdict: True

“Voluntarily Told” - Military slang

 This opinion comes from a soldier from the Canadian military. I find this to be rather true. When it comes to our foreign allies and Battle Buddies, many are more than willing to help them. In my MOS class, we have a Lieutenant from Saudi Arabia’s National Guard (unsure if that was him saying it in our terms or a direct translation). Sometimes he gets lost. Not only do our instructors move quickly to help but so do we (though we are a bit more hesitant given that his rank is way above us). It is not always for school related things either. If he has a question about shake downs and their process, we stop and explain why we do it a certain way and what they are for. Same with our soldiers who speak English as a second language. They have trouble sometimes and all of us help them when needed.

Overseas, my instructors and my dad recount how they remember helping foreign nationals. They were gifted in return which was confusing. We don’t really expect much in return other than you stay loyal to our alliance and help us when we need help. We are taught to help, surprising I know, and many of us enjoy helping. For some, that is why they joined the Army.

Despite our willingness to help, don’t be offended if certain topics turn us cold. There are certain things we are not at liberty to discuss and it could get us chaptered out of the Army if found. Though we are more than willing to help move things, pull security and more (even if we aren’t necessarily supposed to).

The World Thinks About The U.S. Army All The Time

Verdict: False

“I think the primary message to the world is that the United States is going to remain the strongest military in the world,” -Lean Panetta, former United States Secretary of Defense

 From one of my penpals and her friend, Europeans do not often think of us. In fact, she shared a little .gif of a soldier in partial uniform (his top/jacket was off) dancing around to show what she thinks of when she thinks of our military. Which, honestly, is not too far from how we act when not working.

Sure, we are on the news when something bad happens or if a major world victory is made. That’s a given but we are not always in people’s minds or opinions. It’s better that way.

The Army Is Mostly Non-Combat Related Jobs

Verdict: True

“Our armed forces exist solely to ensure our nation is safe, so that each and every one of us can sleep soundly at night, knowing we have 'guardians at the gate,” - Allen West, former U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel 

This one actually comes from a friend. Her thought would be correct. I can count the number of direct combat trained jobs on one hand (there are four). The most well known are 11Bs, also known as infantry. Those attacks and deaths due to a fight gone wrong in the military, more than 80% of those people will not be in a direct combat MOS.

In the Army, the new Army, everyone will see combat at some point in their enlistment. Regardless of our job, combat is a secondary item that we must know. We all learn in. At BCT we learn mostly about combat, how to survive and built ourselves physically. At Advanced Individual Training (AIT) we focus more on our jobs directly and put combat to the side, temporarily.

We will all go to combat zones. It’s unavoidable, even for reserves. We will all, sadly, shoot at a person with the intent to kill at some point. This is a war afterall.

 The Army Deals With Land Battles

Verdict: Misconception

“... Surrounding a  mariner's wheel is a shield representing a U.S. highway marker. Superimposed on the shield is a winged rail wheel on a railroad track. The symbols represent the four major modes of transportation: marine, road, aviation, and rail,” - Army Transportation Corp Insignia

 This is a bit of a doozy. Yes, the Army mostly fights on land but we also have jobs that deal with ships and aircrafts. In the Transportation Corps, where I work, we work with rail, motor and sea. This means that the Army is not just land. We use the air and sea as well but most of our fights are done via land, rarely anything else.

Fun fact. The Army has more ships than the Navy and more aircrafts than the Air Force.

The Army is Organized, Punctual and Uniformed

Verdict: False

“Hurry up and wait!” -Army Saying

 This one brings a laugh to me. Plans change so suddenly and ruin a backup plan then that plan’s backup is messed and so on and so forth. NCOICs can’t be found, Commander is gone, no memo was sent, the whole shabang. All sorts of problems arise into chaos. It happens mostly in state where things are calmer but things can get really hectic when out in war.

The Army is not good at being uniformed either. There are many rules and regulations to make us uniformed but there are always those that mess up and/or try to bend the rules. Always someone who does something to mess everything up. Then there is us trying to get into regulations when uniforms change. A full set of uniforms is over $100 and we need at least two or three plus PTs which are about $70-80 a set. Regulations are a mess. Hair and shaving is even worse.

Punctual. That word doesn’t exist in the Army. Pretend that word is fake.

 When It Is All Said And Done, Soldiers Are Proud Of Who They Are

Verdict: Truer than true!!

“I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life,” -Soldier’s Creed

 Despite all the hardships of being in the Army, there is nothing more than many of us want than to be a member of this team. We hold the memories of those left behind within our dog tags. We hold their legacy and advance forward for our nation. We defend the Constitution of the United States against threats both foreign and domestic.

Sure, not many of us knew exactly what we were signing up for. Who would know what to expect when what happens depends on where you go? Despite not knowing, despite messing up along the way, despite long hours and constant aching bones we are proud of this proud.

We are American soldiers.

- J. E. Luca

[esprit-de-corps-magazine]

Former Ceremonial Guard drum major pilots a flypast at Fortissimo

By Steven Fouchard, Army Public Affairs

Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan — For Captain Erik Temple, a former drum major with the Ceremonial Guard (CG) of the Canadian Armed Forces, Fortissimo 2019 was a reunion.

Fortissimo is a military and musical spectacular performed every summer in Ottawa. Prominently featuring the CG, it never fails to inspire awe in the thousands of spectators it draws to Parliament Hill.

Now a Royal Canadian Air Force (RCAF) flight instructor, Capt Temple was invited to pilot a CT-156 Harvard II in the flypast that is always an exciting part of the Fortissimo experience. This year’s event took place from July 18 to 20.

Capt Temple was happy to share, in a recent interview, his many fond memories of serving with the CG. One might assume Army musicians and Air Force pilots are worlds apart but, said Capt Temple, they have at least one important quality in common: passion.

The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Q1: What drew you to the CG?

I was born and raised in Ottawa. Growing up, seeing the Guard on Canada Day and the daily Changing of the Guard was very inspiring. I used to have a poster of the Guard on my wall as a child and always wanted to do it.

I joined the Governor General’s Foot Guards first. I was in Grade 10 at the time, 16 years old. Mum and Dad had to sign the bottom line for me. At the time, I went to Canterbury High School, which is arts-centred.

Lieutenant-Colonel (Retired) Frances Chilton-MacKay was teaching at the time, before becoming the Foot Guards’ Director of Music. She said, ’Erik, are you interested in joining the Foot Guards?’ And I said, ‘Are you kidding me? What an amazing opportunity!’ And that’s how it all linked together.

After graduating high school, I went to the University of Ottawa to stay in Ottawa with the Guards. My first year, I auditioned successfully for the Ceremonial Guard.

When I finished university, I moved into a full-time position co-ordinating the nationwide audition tour and all the administration in the off-season, as well as teaching Basic Military Qualification courses. I spent six summer seasons there.

My family has a military background, which inspired me to join the CAF. Both my grandfathers left me some rather large shoes to fill.

One was an Army Major with the Dental Corps and the Royal Canadian Regiment. The other was a Lancaster pilot in World War Two, who was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his actions. He later went on to serve as Minister of National Defence and deputy PM as well. In fact, his service to Canada and background in aviation was so extensive the Yukon Government renamed the airport in Whitehorse in his honour: Erik Nielsen Whitehorse International Airport.

Q2: What was your main instrument?

I was a drummer/percussionist. Historically, a senior infantry warrant officer held the Drum Major position, but things worked out over the years and with the support of the senior leadership at the time I was able to serve as a Drum Major in my final year with CG. What a privilege. It was just such an honour to wear the scarlet and gold embroidered tunic and step onto Parliament Hill at 10 o’clock precisely every morning.

I studied piano my whole life and always wanted to play another instrument. I subjected my parents to the agony of a teenager wanting a drum set [laughs]. They supported me fully as I was always fascinated by the sound of the drums and their prominence in military music. 

Q3: Looking back on those years, what moments stand out in your memory?

One that comes to mind is Canada Day on Parliament Hill. I believe it was 2010 when Her Majesty was in attendance. Performing in front of her on Canada’s birthday in front of thousands of people－that just makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. The following year, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were there.

In 2009, we travelled to Washington DC and performed with the U.S. Army band ‘Pershing’s Own’－ a joint concert with them on Capitol Hill. Those were some pretty unique opportunities.

Q4: What made you want to move over to the Air Force?

I was slightly obsessed with planes as a kid. With my family background, it was always meant to be, it was just a question of how to make it happen. Being an RCAF pilot wasn’t an option for me when I first joined due to poor eyesight. In the CG’s off-season, I would go to work during the day and went to complete my civilian pilot licenses at night and on the weekends. At some point, they opened laser eye surgery to pilots so I had the surgery, which opened the Air Force door that I thought was closed. I then applied for the component transfer and it took about a year for it all to happen. 

Q5: You’re now a flight instructor. What was your path to that role?

I was awarded my wings as a Rotary Wing Pilot. I was posted to 408 Tactical Helicopter Squadron in Edmonton. I actually spent a few years there flying the CH-146 Griffon working once again with the Army. We were part of Operation LENTUS for the Fort McMurray forest fires. I got the chance to fly across our country from coast to coast on the Griffon.

From there, I was able to return to Moose Jaw as there was a flight instructor opening at the time. I have been in Moose Jaw for two years now on the CT-156 Harvard II. You get to train student pilots from scratch. Almost every pilot in the RCAF is trained at 15 Wing in Moose Jaw.

It is such a reward when you see your students work tirelessly to earn their wings and end up flying operationally.

Q6: How did you feel about the idea of returning to Fortissimo?

Fortissimo is the premier CG event of the summer. They had flypasts back when I was there. I said I’d love to do it one day and it’s been on the bucket list for a while. I don’t think there’s anything better than playing the 1812 Overture as the sun sets in the massed band with the guns of 30th Field Regiment and the Dominion Carilloneur [the musician who plays the Peace Tower carillion, an instrument consisting of 53 bells].

Q7: Are there lessons from the CG that still apply in the RCAF?

Absolutely. The Guard instils attention to detail, accuracy and precision. The psychomotor skills and technique of playing an instrument and flying an aircraft are quite similar.

The teamwork required and crew cohesion are nearly identical. These highly motivated soldiers and air personnel are extremely passionate about their craft.

With the CG it was the love of music, and the passion pilots have for aviation is the same. When you do something you love, you never really work a day in your life.

To do those things in service to Canada － it’s an honour.

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On Enzo’s Trail: Luca Dal Monte’s New Ferrari Biography is a Must-Read

Luca Dal Monte is thoroughly Italian. Born and raised in Cremona, home of Stradivari, in the Lombardy region of northern Italy by the left bank of the River Po. Lives today in Milan. Ran press operations for Ferrari and Maserati, two of the most essential, essentially Italian marques. He’s also written several books, including a novel called La Scuderia and, most recently, Ferrari Rex, a weighty yet wonderfully colorful biography of Enzo Ferrari. There’s a fair chance it will become an Italian miniseries.

Yet, intriguingly, 55-year-old Dal Monte credits America—where Ferrari Rex is only just now available in English and retitled as Enzo Ferrari: Power, Politics, and the Making of an Automotive Empire—for his success.

“After 30 years, there was really nothing I could add to my job profile. … Writing had become my second profession. You reach a point when you’re 50 and say, ‘I’d rather do it today than wait any longer.’”

On a U.S. press tour, Dal Monte has come to meet us at Dominick European Car Repair, a mecca for all things old-car Italian, in White Plains, New York. We’re meant to drive off in a rare and valuable 1966 Ferrari 275 GTB belonging to a generous customer, an early-production long-nose model with several unique details and a value in excess of $3 million. I offer Dal Monte the first drive, but eyeing the steady drizzle of a cold Westchester morning along with some spirited displays of local driving skill outside the garage, he declines: “Not today.”

I, however, don’t have to be asked twice to drive the first 275 GTB I’ve ever sat in. Still, determined to remain on task, I ask Dal Monte, “What is it about you and America?”

“I’ve always been fascinated with you guys,” he says. “I belong to the Race to the Moon generation. I remember watching the Apollo launches and splashdowns on TV, dreaming of one day going to the U.S.

“I also belong to the post-JFK generation. My mom and dad remember to this day where they were when they heard the news of JFK’s assassination. I know all Americans [of a certain age] do, but in Italy it’s more rare. Perhaps as a consequence of this, I developed an interest, which became love and then passion, for U.S. politics and history.”

Dal Monte admits to a teenage predilection for U.S. sitcoms like “Happy Days.” “And then, I mean, you go back to ‘The Brady Bunch’ in the early ’70s, that was [American] high school at its best!” he says. He proudly says that this, along with understanding parents and an unlikely exchange program between Cremona and Owensboro, Kentucky, brought him to America for his senior year of high school. He liked it so much he decided to stay for college at the University of Kentucky, studying political science and American history while writing for the Kentucky Kernel, the school’s newspaper. His children attend American universities, and American politics remains his favorite subject. As evidence, he has an extensive collection of American political memorabilia, including more than 600 buttons, posters, and convention flyers dating as far back as 1896.

After his U.S. schooling, though, it was back to Italy for compulsory military duty. Dal Monte cast around for journalism jobs upon completing his service and applied to Peugeot on a lark. He wound up landing a plum assignment in the French automaker’s Italian press office. With no experience, he chalked up this early career success to the employer appeal of his English language skill and firsthand knowledge of America. Ditto Toyota, which hired him a few years later to head the press effort for its newly established Italian operation, and then Ferrari, which sent Dal Monte back to the U.S. in New Jersey to run its North American press office. He then helped relaunch Maserati in the States before returning to Italy to oversee the company’s worldwide press operations.

In Dal Monte’s view, the American connection led to jobs that capped his career. They also put him in a position to gain enhanced access to relevant Ferrari and Alfa Romeo documents, making a burgeoning historian’s job easier. The Enzo Ferrari tome joins a growing list of works that includes overviews of Ferrari cars and racing, a 100-year history of Maserati, and La Scuderia, a spy and love story set against a 1930s racing backdrop. As for the Ferrari biography, the Italian press has hailed it as the most scholarly and deeply researched biography of Il Commendatore yet, of the admittedly few that have been written.

While living in Ferrari’s Modena heartland during his tenure at Maserati, Dal Monte was surrounded by older folk who had worked with Enzo. He often met them after work following initial interviews, and they filled in details and remembered things they had not in earlier conversations. His position with Maserati gave him access to a wide range of primary materials, too. “One of the greatest assets in my research was the Alfa Romeo archive in Arese, near Milan,” he says. There Dal Monte found Enzo Ferrari’s personnel file from when he managed Alfa’s race team. It documented Ferrari’s importance to the great Italian racing power in the inter-war period as well as elements of his financial acuity. “Much like a Broadway producer, he used other people’s money to finance his endeavors,” Dal Monte points out. His was a kind of scholarly curiosity and deep-dive research not always associated with the public relations profession.

“There are two kinds of PR people: those who come from marketing and those who come from journalism,” Dal Monte says. He sees himself in the latter camp; though his own experience in traditional journalism was slight, his formative years in college forever shaped his perspective. Facts, analysis, and color, not marketing fluff, became his focus. Perhaps inevitably, in 2015, he left PR for good.

“After 30 years in a worldwide position, there was really nothing I could add to my job profile, I guess,” he reflects. “And in the meantime, writing had become my second profession. You reach a point when you’re 50 and say, ‘I’d rather do it today than wait any longer.’”

Past employment with Ferrari notwithstanding, Dal Monte’s eight years of research into one of Italy’s most famous figures has not resulted in a hagiography. It contradicts Ferrari’s own 1962 autobiography, for instance, by including the story of how, long before he ran Alfa’s winning race team or set up a successful car company, the young Ferrari was failing at running his own first business, a coachworks. In fact, the man didn’t build his first Ferrari car until he was 49, after World War II, which ought to lend hope and inspiration to late bloomers everywhere. Dal Monte’s opus also runs down Ferrari’s serial infidelity to his wife, though he sees its roots in her lifelong depression and anxiety, which made her pull away from him. “He needed someone,” the writer says.

Of course, all of Italy forgave and continues to forgive Ferrari for his transgressions. “If you grew up in Italy in the ’70s, Enzo Ferrari was a towering figure,” Dal Monte explains. “There was the Pope, and then there was Enzo. I am not kidding; by the mid-’70s, Enzo had reached a demigod dimension. He was the Grand Old Man not just of motor racing but of the country. You could even hear him call into some of the early TV automotive/motor racing shows and speak—to the point of shouting—with the talk show host in order to defend his cars and his drivers. More the cars than the drivers, actually. He was everywhere.

“When I did the research for my book, I was able to scientifically confirm what I remembered from those days: There was hardly a day in which national newspapers did not have a story on Enzo. It was inevitable, when discussing his cars, races, or drivers: You must mention or quote him.”

Dal Monte remembers as a teenager in the late ’70s taking an hourlong train ride to Modena early one morning with his brother, just to catch a glimpse of Ferrari having his morning shave at a barbershop. Ferrari stared out at them staring in at him and smiled.

“I had wanted to write a book on him for a long, long time,” Dal Monte says. “But I didn’t want it to be a book like all the others. I wanted to tell more. More of the man, and of the men and women around him. When I was hired at Ferrari, I gained access not just to archives but to people. And it was at that point I realized that if I really put my mind at it, it could be possible.

Luca Dal Monte tours New York’s Westchester County in a 275 GTB long nose, a fitting symbol for the life of his subject, the man who lent his name to what has become one of the world’s most valuable luxury brands. A very early-production long nose, this 1967 transition model shares features with earlier short nose and later long nose production, but it has some unique aspects, too.

“Of course, I love cars, especially sports cars. But my fascination with Enzo went and still goes far beyond that. It was his lifelong struggle to succeed, to become someone, to beat the odds, to go down in history that intrigued me. In so many ways, Enzo was like [Ronald] Reagan: a man with no particular specific qualities that made it big. There’s a beautiful book on Reagan whose subtitle reads, ‘How an ordinary man became an extraordinary leader.’ In my opinion, that applies to Enzo Ferrari as well: ‘How an ordinary man became an automotive giant.’”

The post On Enzo’s Trail: Luca Dal Monte’s New Ferrari Biography is a Must-Read appeared first on Automobile Magazine.

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On Enzo’s Trail: Luca Dal Monte’s New Ferrari Biography is a Must-Read

Luca Dal Monte is thoroughly Italian. Born and raised in Cremona, home of Stradivari, in the Lombardy region of northern Italy by the left bank of the River Po. Lives today in Milan. Ran press operations for Ferrari and Maserati, two of the most essential, essentially Italian marques. He’s also written several books, including a novel called La Scuderia and, most recently, Ferrari Rex, a weighty yet wonderfully colorful biography of Enzo Ferrari. There’s a fair chance it will become an Italian miniseries.

Yet, intriguingly, 55-year-old Dal Monte credits America—where Ferrari Rex is only just now available in English and retitled as Enzo Ferrari: Power, Politics, and the Making of an Automotive Empire—for his success.

“After 30 years, there was really nothing I could add to my job profile. … Writing had become my second profession. You reach a point when you’re 50 and say, ‘I’d rather do it today than wait any longer.’”

On a U.S. press tour, Dal Monte has come to meet us at Dominick European Car Repair, a mecca for all things old-car Italian, in White Plains, New York. We’re meant to drive off in a rare and valuable 1966 Ferrari 275 GTB belonging to a generous customer, an early-production long-nose model with several unique details and a value in excess of $3 million. I offer Dal Monte the first drive, but eyeing the steady drizzle of a cold Westchester morning along with some spirited displays of local driving skill outside the garage, he declines: “Not today.”

I, however, don’t have to be asked twice to drive the first 275 GTB I’ve ever sat in. Still, determined to remain on task, I ask Dal Monte, “What is it about you and America?”

“I’ve always been fascinated with you guys,” he says. “I belong to the Race to the Moon generation. I remember watching the Apollo launches and splashdowns on TV, dreaming of one day going to the U.S.

“I also belong to the post-JFK generation. My mom and dad remember to this day where they were when they heard the news of JFK’s assassination. I know all Americans [of a certain age] do, but in Italy it’s more rare. Perhaps as a consequence of this, I developed an interest, which became love and then passion, for U.S. politics and history.”

Dal Monte admits to a teenage predilection for U.S. sitcoms like “Happy Days.” “And then, I mean, you go back to ‘The Brady Bunch’ in the early ’70s, that was [American] high school at its best!” he says. He proudly says that this, along with understanding parents and an unlikely exchange program between Cremona and Owensboro, Kentucky, brought him to America for his senior year of high school. He liked it so much he decided to stay for college at the University of Kentucky, studying political science and American history while writing for the Kentucky Kernel, the school’s newspaper. His children attend American universities, and American politics remains his favorite subject. As evidence, he has an extensive collection of American political memorabilia, including more than 600 buttons, posters, and convention flyers dating as far back as 1896.

After his U.S. schooling, though, it was back to Italy for compulsory military duty. Dal Monte cast around for journalism jobs upon completing his service and applied to Peugeot on a lark. He wound up landing a plum assignment in the French automaker’s Italian press office. With no experience, he chalked up this early career success to the employer appeal of his English language skill and firsthand knowledge of America. Ditto Toyota, which hired him a few years later to head the press effort for its newly established Italian operation, and then Ferrari, which sent Dal Monte back to the U.S. in New Jersey to run its North American press office. He then helped relaunch Maserati in the States before returning to Italy to oversee the company’s worldwide press operations.

In Dal Monte’s view, the American connection led to jobs that capped his career. They also put him in a position to gain enhanced access to relevant Ferrari and Alfa Romeo documents, making a burgeoning historian’s job easier. The Enzo Ferrari tome joins a growing list of works that includes overviews of Ferrari cars and racing, a 100-year history of Maserati, and La Scuderia, a spy and love story set against a 1930s racing backdrop. As for the Ferrari biography, the Italian press has hailed it as the most scholarly and deeply researched biography of Il Commendatore yet, of the admittedly few that have been written.

While living in Ferrari’s Modena heartland during his tenure at Maserati, Dal Monte was surrounded by older folk who had worked with Enzo. He often met them after work following initial interviews, and they filled in details and remembered things they had not in earlier conversations. His position with Maserati gave him access to a wide range of primary materials, too. “One of the greatest assets in my research was the Alfa Romeo archive in Arese, near Milan,” he says. There Dal Monte found Enzo Ferrari’s personnel file from when he managed Alfa’s race team. It documented Ferrari’s importance to the great Italian racing power in the inter-war period as well as elements of his financial acuity. “Much like a Broadway producer, he used other people’s money to finance his endeavors,” Dal Monte points out. His was a kind of scholarly curiosity and deep-dive research not always associated with the public relations profession.

“There are two kinds of PR people: those who come from marketing and those who come from journalism,” Dal Monte says. He sees himself in the latter camp; though his own experience in traditional journalism was slight, his formative years in college forever shaped his perspective. Facts, analysis, and color, not marketing fluff, became his focus. Perhaps inevitably, in 2015, he left PR for good.

“After 30 years in a worldwide position, there was really nothing I could add to my job profile, I guess,” he reflects. “And in the meantime, writing had become my second profession. You reach a point when you’re 50 and say, ‘I’d rather do it today than wait any longer.’”

Past employment with Ferrari notwithstanding, Dal Monte’s eight years of research into one of Italy’s most famous figures has not resulted in a hagiography. It contradicts Ferrari’s own 1962 autobiography, for instance, by including the story of how, long before he ran Alfa’s winning race team or set up a successful car company, the young Ferrari was failing at running his own first business, a coachworks. In fact, the man didn’t build his first Ferrari car until he was 49, after World War II, which ought to lend hope and inspiration to late bloomers everywhere. Dal Monte’s opus also runs down Ferrari’s serial infidelity to his wife, though he sees its roots in her lifelong depression and anxiety, which made her pull away from him. “He needed someone,” the writer says.

Of course, all of Italy forgave and continues to forgive Ferrari for his transgressions. “If you grew up in Italy in the ’70s, Enzo Ferrari was a towering figure,” Dal Monte explains. “There was the Pope, and then there was Enzo. I am not kidding; by the mid-’70s, Enzo had reached a demigod dimension. He was the Grand Old Man not just of motor racing but of the country. You could even hear him call into some of the early TV automotive/motor racing shows and speak—to the point of shouting—with the talk show host in order to defend his cars and his drivers. More the cars than the drivers, actually. He was everywhere.

“When I did the research for my book, I was able to scientifically confirm what I remembered from those days: There was hardly a day in which national newspapers did not have a story on Enzo. It was inevitable, when discussing his cars, races, or drivers: You must mention or quote him.”

Dal Monte remembers as a teenager in the late ’70s taking an hourlong train ride to Modena early one morning with his brother, just to catch a glimpse of Ferrari having his morning shave at a barbershop. Ferrari stared out at them staring in at him and smiled.

“I had wanted to write a book on him for a long, long time,” Dal Monte says. “But I didn’t want it to be a book like all the others. I wanted to tell more. More of the man, and of the men and women around him. When I was hired at Ferrari, I gained access not just to archives but to people. And it was at that point I realized that if I really put my mind at it, it could be possible.

Luca Dal Monte tours New York’s Westchester County in a 275 GTB long nose, a fitting symbol for the life of his subject, the man who lent his name to what has become one of the world’s most valuable luxury brands. A very early-production long nose, this 1967 transition model shares features with earlier short nose and later long nose production, but it has some unique aspects, too.

“Of course, I love cars, especially sports cars. But my fascination with Enzo went and still goes far beyond that. It was his lifelong struggle to succeed, to become someone, to beat the odds, to go down in history that intrigued me. In so many ways, Enzo was like [Ronald] Reagan: a man with no particular specific qualities that made it big. There’s a beautiful book on Reagan whose subtitle reads, ‘How an ordinary man became an extraordinary leader.’ In my opinion, that applies to Enzo Ferrari as well: ‘How an ordinary man became an automotive giant.’”

The post On Enzo’s Trail: Luca Dal Monte’s New Ferrari Biography is a Must-Read appeared first on Automobile Magazine.

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