#and my bones are achey now but

[fandomtrashbag]

Inktober 2023, Prompt 1: Dream

[nivq87]

Still annoyingly aware of certain bones, but hey at least i have some energy again! Tried to take a nap and the only reason i stopped playing cotl is it crashed again. Very fun game! Probably dont buy it for switch. Soon(tm) theres supposed to be a major update with new features and apparently some optimization for switch but uh…. Idk. We’ll see

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

Is there anyone like genuinely i’ll take any single individual on earth, who doesn’t have back ache? Because i don’t know a single person whose spine spines correctly and that seems like a design fault…

[mediumgayitalian]

“Oh, fuck.”

The clatter of her practice sword on the ground is almost louder than the crunch that rings out from his wrist. He inhales sharply, biting back a shout — no matter how many times it’s happened, he will never get used to breaking a bone. That shit hurts.

“Fuck, fuck fuck. Fuck, Seaweed Brain, is it broken?”

“Think so,” Percy grits out. He tries for a smile, and Annabeth matches it, small and worried. He leans into the hand she cups over his cheek. “Not too bad, though. If I just dump my water bottle on it —”

“Absolutely not. Water healing leaves you achey when it rains, you know that.” Shifting to wrap her arm around his waist, she helps him stand, shouldering some of his weight like it’s his ankle that’s broken. He lets her, reaching down to squeeze the hand resting on his hip — I’m fine. We’re good. She turns her hand to wrap clasp their hands together — Okay. If you’re sure.

They walk together to the infirmary, taking their time. Aside from the pain pulsing from his arm, it’s not too bad — camp is as balmy as usual, and the spring break energy is practically visible, it’s so potent. The Demeter cabin has plants growing everywhere, flowers and fruit trees blooming as bright as a box of new crayons, and the air is filled with shouts of laughter and teasing. Annabeth’s steps fall in time with his, and she’s a comfortable warmth at his side, pressed from shoulder to hip.

“You still okay?”

“Yep.” He catches her eye, smiling crookedly at her. “Doesn’t even make my top fifty.”

She rolls her eyes, hipchecking him. “Don’t I know it, ya klutz.”

“Not sure I would call being flung from the St. Louis Arch being a klutz. Or exploded in a volcano. Or crushed under the sky. Or slashed by giants. Or chased by —”

“You’re talking, but all I’m hearing is Annabeth, please, please pinch me, as hard as you can —”

“Hey! Get those claws off me, gods you’re worse than an empousai —”

“— and when you’re done pinching me please put me in the tightest headlock you can manage —”

“I am injured! You are beating up an injured person right now!”

“— and then please just bite a chunk out of my shoulder —”

“Cut it out or I’m telling Mom!”

“Wimp,” she taunts, finally releasing him. “I don’t go running to Sally every time I lose a fight.”

“Wha — you do so!”

She ducks through the infirmary door, smirking like she can’t hear him.

“You literally — you snitched on me last week! I got grounded for two days!”

“And you deserved it,” she says primly.

He gapes. “I did not!”

“Anytime you two are done,” Kayla drawls, shoving a clipboard at them. They accept it with matching sheepish grins, cowed at her perfectly arched eyebrow and slowly tapping foot. “I got patients to deal with and older brothers to harass. Let’s get this moving.”

She is shockingly good at humbling people for a thirteen year old. The two of them turn to their clipboard, chagrined, letting her stomp away with an exasperated He’ll be with you soon! Don’t set off the sprinklers again!

“That was one time,” Percy mumbles, ears reddening.

Annabeth pats him on the back. “There, there,” she says mockingly. “The fact that it was one time definitely negates the fact that you flooded the entire Big House because you got jumpscared by a child.”

“Harley can be sneaky, okay. Let me live.”

“Literally no.”

Annabeth does most of the paperwork for him, ‘cause she’s a nerd because his wrist is far too swollen for him to write properly, so it takes maybe half the time it normally would. The infirmary is crowded as Hell, though (he knows, he’s been), so they settle in for the wait, amusing themselves by tearing little pieces off of a blank form, balling them up, and tossing them in increasingly harder places. Percy is winning 7-4, although Annabeth might just pull through if she manages to toss her paper ball into Travis’ wide-open snoring mouth.

“Hey, guys. Sorry for the wait.”

Aw. She missed. Percy was looking forward to that.

“Hey, Will.”

He drags his attention away from the son of Hermes to greet his friend, but frowns before he can open his mouth.

“Woah, dude, you good? You look exhausted.”

Will snorts. “Welcome to spring break, man.” He holds his hand out for the clipboard, scanning it briefly. “Sparring injury? Oh, thank the gods. I could use a break. Here, face me.”

He climbs up onto the minimal left over space on the cot, tucking his legs under his thighs. Percy turns to mirror him, hesitantly sticking out his arm — A break? he mouths to Annabeth, meeting her eyes over Will’s head.

She shrugs.

“Just spent four hours putting Jake’s nose back on his face,” Will mumbles, placing a careful hand on his fingertips and his forearm. Percy flinches — his skin is blisteringly hot. Like someone just dropped a hot stone onto him. “I never want to sing a skin cell hymn again in my life.” He prods at Percy’s wrist for a moment, gentle enough not to hurt. “Okay, hold still, I’m gonna fix ya right up.”

Healing hymns are familiar, by now, but Percy will never get tired of them.

The cool thing about ambrosia and nectar is that as pleasure food for the gods, it’s pleasant. It’s whatever taste you want, whatever you need to have most, you get it. But healing hymns are intentional the way nectar and ambrosia aren’t. Ambrosia and nectar happen to be healing for demigods — healing hymns were constructed to knit you back together, like you mother smoothing a bandaid over a skinned knee. They’re warm and sweet and deeply, endlessly comforting in a way most things simply cannot claim to be. They don’t feel like a medical procedure or a hasty patch job, they feel like someone gripping you tightly and promising you’ll be okay. They feel like getting carried to bed when you fall asleep on the couch. They feel like sitting down after hours of standing, like a drink of water when your throat is drier than sand. Healing hymns draw the pain and sick and ache from your body, and they feel like relief.

But this time, Percy can’t focus on it.

With every word, Will seems to get a little duller. Nothing like the horrible ash-grey he went in the war, dragging the poison from Annabeth’s body, but like his usual sunny disposition was dialed down a few notches. Enough that Annabeth frowns in concern, drumming her hands on her thighs, watching him closely.

“There,” Will says, pulling away. Percy turns his now-healed wrist, noticing the slight pant to Will’s breath, the strain to his smile. The shake of his blistered fingertips.

“You look overworked,” Annabeth says quietly.

Will holds his hands up in a what can you do gesture. “Spring break.”

“You said.”

“It’s just busy, is all.”

“Yeah, but —”

“Guys,” he interrupts, smiling tiredly, “there are two hundred ADHD demigods at this camp right now who have been trapped in a classroom for six months. There are three of us. I’m going to be a little drained; we’re all a little drained. But I’m fine, okay?” He gives them a second to scrutinize his expression, eyebrows raised in amusement. “I have been running my infirmary for years. I know how to pace myself, and I certainly know how to make sure my siblings are pacing themselves. If something goes really wrong, Chiron is a whistle away. I can go longer than you guys without sleep, anyway. Apollo kid health.”

“If you say so,” Percy says reluctantly. “I just — I can wear a wrist brace, man. Not every injury needs to be handled when it happens. You can tell people no.”

“I appreciate that, Percy, and I’ll keep it in mind. Anyways, I’ve got more patients. Stay off that wrist for the rest of the day, okay? It might be tender for a bit.”

Percy turns to Annabeth as Will leaves, frowning. He’s has never noticed the so-called spring break stress before (his camp spring breaks are usually a blast, but now that he’s thinking about it, he can’t think of a single spring break where he spent any time at all with Will, which is odd), but it can’t be good for him. There’s gotta be something they can do to ease some of the bruising under their friend’s eyes.

“I could set off the fire alarms again,” Percy suggests. “That���ll certainly get this place cleared out.”

Annabeth snorts. “I think that’ll cause more harm than good, Seaweed Brain. It’ll just fall in him to clean it all up, after.”

“Shoot.”

Percy counts nine of the forty cots currently unused. Will, Kayla, and Austin are rushing from cot to cot, handing out nectar, wrapping bandages, rattling off hymns at light speed. All three of them look exhausted, squeezing shoulders when they pass each other, knocking hips, exchanging tired smiles. This is so clearly something they’re used to.

Annabeth’s head rests on his shoulder.

“It wasn’t always like this,” she whispers. “When it was fully staffed…”

Percy exhales heavily. Yeah. He remembers. There was a lot less complication, once upon a time. The most chaotic the infirmary would get was when Lee would challenge his siblings to Hymn Karaoke — trying to heal with pop songs. There was a lot more laughter, at one point. A lot more people.

Percy sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. It never does well to dwell, but he — gods, he wish they all had more time. To sit with it, to acknowledge…everything. Siblings. Friends. A camp that’s smaller than it’s supposed to be.

Annabeth squeezes his hand again, and he squeezes back, resting his head on top of hers.

“Hey,” she murmurs after a moment, pursing her lips at the front door. “Look.”

Slinking through the entrance like a criminal is Nico, in all his dork ass black camp shirt glory. He looks around shiftily, like he’s trying to make sure no one sees him, and when his gaze lands on Percy and Annabeth his eyes widen. Annabeth smiles at him, but it does nothing to ease the spooked look to his face, back arched like a startled cat. He turns to leave, but before he can slip back out the door —

“Nico!”

The son of Hades whips back around so quickly he brains himself on the doorframe. Percy ducks his head and bites his lip, hard, because he can feel Nico’s glare at the side of his head like the press of hot coal, and if he laughs as badly as he wants to then the infirmary is about to look like a Spirit Halloween.

Will turns back to his patient, squeezing his eyes shut and rattling a hymn off so quickly it makes a burst of light pop from his whole body, and rushes over to where Nico’s standing. He only trips over two things, which is remarkable for him. Percy would be proud if he wasn’t a little embarrassed on his behalf.

“Nico! Hi!”

“He-ey, Will,” Nico says, voice cracking badly on every vowel. Annabeth shoves her face into Percy’s shoulder, body shaking.

“I didn’t know you were coming! I thought you were in the arena all day.”

Nico shrugs, shoes scuffing the floor. “I am. I just — uh, I got hurt? So. Came to see you.”

Will’s beam is so bright it hurts to look at, a little. Percy squints and realises that’s not just the excitement, actually — he really is glowing, faintly. His hands flap slightly at his sides.

“Well, you’re in the right place, then.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them say anything for a minute, rocking back on their heels. Will watches Nico closely, biting his lip. Nico looks resolutely at the floor.

“We weren’t this bad,” Annabeth whispers, “were we?”

Percy shakes his head. “Nah, there’s no way.”

“Gods. It’s so — I don’t know whether to smile or take a dip in the Lethe. It’s embarrassing and endearing at the same time.”

“Painful to watch, but I can’t stop looking,” Percy agrees.

“What’d you hurt?” Will asks, finally. “Did you pull your shoulder again?”

A look of panic flits briefly across Nico’s face until he smooths it to something neutral, aloof.

“Yep. Totally. During — sword fighting, I swung — I did this really big thrust, actually. Just — hugely powerful, training dummy exploded on impact.” He clears his throat. “Some might say too powerful. If you can imagine.”

Percy cradles his head in his hands. “Oh my gods — ”

“Don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh,” Annabeth chants, “oh my gods, don’t laugh —”

A light flush dusts Will’s cheeks. He brushes a strand of hair behind his ear, fiddling with his earrings. “Woah, really? I’ve never heard of that before.”

Nico smirks, standing up a little straighter. “Well, it’s not the first time. I tend to go pretty hard.” Remembering his supposedly hurt shoulder, he exaggerates a wince. “Too hard sometimes, I guess. Could you do the — the energy thing?”

“Oh — gods, yeah, sorry. Hold on.” He stares at Nico’s shoulder, hesitating. “It, um, works better with skin-to-skin contact.”

“I have seen crystal vases less transparent,” Annabeth says, aghast. “In two years he’s going to remember this and try to drown himself.”

“I will be counting down the days,” Percy says gleefully.

On rare, rare occasions, the gods answer his prayers. Clearly, both Nemesis and Aphrodite are looking at him kindly today. Percy makes a note to scrape some of the good stuff off his plate for them both today. Hell, maybe he’ll skip the portioning and toss them an entire roast chicken each. Or something. They deserve it.

Will places both hands — interesting, Percy notes, his wrist was snapped cleanly in two and he only needed one hand, wonder why that was — on Nico’s shoulder and closes his eyes, screwing up his face in concentration.

“Huh. I’m not feeling much damage. You said it was your right shoulder?”

“I heal quick,” Nico says loudly. “I mean, some of the damage might have — um.” He clears his throat. His face glows a faint crimson. He clears his throat again. “Y’know?”

Will’s face is a similar shade.

“Right, right. Yeah. Um, brace yourself.”

Instead of starting to sing, Will closes his eyes, holding completely still. After a moment, the tips of his fingers begin to glow; soft, ambery yellow, flickering like lit candles. He opens his eyes again and focuses intently on Nico’s bare skin, tracing patterns around every defined muscle, leaving a trail of light behind. He lingers, for a moment, when he connects the last string of light, waiting until it has faded entirely from Nico’s skin to remove his hands and shove them in the pockets of his coat.

“That better?” he asks softly.

Nico swallows. “Yeah.”

“Good. I’m glad, Nico. It means a lot that you — came to me. When you needed it.”

“I trust you, I guess.” Nico looks away. “You know what you’re doing.”

“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little,” Percy says thoughtfully.

Annabeth laughs, shoving his shoulder. “Don’t be mean.” She pauses. “Me too.”

With a sigh that can only be described as besotted, Will steps reluctantly away.

“I have patients,” he says, in the same tone of voice Percy usually says I have midterms. “So I gotta…”

“Yeah, no, go. Do your —” Nico gestures vaguely. “Doctor thing.”

“Right. Yeah. I’m gonna — go.” He turns, walking back towards a group of Hephaestus kids who appear to be tightly entangled in some kind of net. After a few steps, though, he pauses, biting his lip, then darts back over to Nico, pressing a lightning-fast kiss to his cheek — “Um, bye. Thank you for visiting. Bye,” — and then runs back over to his siblings, shy smile on his face.

Nico’s jaw is brushing the floor of his father’s palace. He stands, still as a statue, for four entire minutes.

“I think he just died,” Annabeth observes, eyebrows climbing higher and higher up her forehead with every passing second “Damn. Survived so much only to literally die because a cute boy kissed his cheek. A true hero’s end.”

Percy, because he is a kind, concerned friend, clears his throat loudly.

“Yo, di Angelo, you alive?”

Nico startles so violently he falls right over. Percy shoves his fist in his mouth to keep from cackling.

“Shut the fuck up,” Nico hisses venomously, scrambling upright. “Both of you, shut the — not a word —”

Percy and Annabeth make the mistake of looking at each other and simply erupt. Percy can’t feel his stomach. His lungs have abandoned ship. He’s glad as hell he’s in the infirmary because he is heaving for breath, tears streaming down his face, entire body convulsing. Nico stands in front of them literally shaking with rage, entire body redder than one of Apollo’s sacred cows, trying and failing to string together a threat that will ease any and all of his suffering. Annabeth screeches, almost falling off the bed as she cackles. Percy cannot even find the strength to catch her, his muscles are so weak.

“I fucking — I hate you! Both of you! You’re dead to me!”

“Your face!” Percy shrieks.

“Percy Jackson, I am going to turn you to fucking dark matter! I despise your very essence! I —” He stomps his foot. “I’m leaving, and I’m going to leave a rotting corpse in your cabin! Screw you!”

“Oh my gods,” Annabeth wheezes, digging her nails into his arm. “Oh my gods, that was —”

Percy wipes a tear from his eye. “I love being alive. I love being alive so much.”

“It really is great.” Composing herself, and biting back the leftover giggles that keep bubbling out, Annabeth looks back towards Will. He stands much straighter, now, smile back to full brightness. His siblings, too, look rejuvenated, snickering to each other and making kissy faces behind Will’s back. “So many beautiful things to witness. I’ve never seen his face go that red.”

Percy sighs. “This is genuinely going to carry me through the semester. I think his soul died a little. And Will just — gods, that kid is bold.”

“Oh says you, Mr. Do I Get A Good Luck Kiss.”

“Hey, I earned that.”

Annabeth grins, punching him in the shoulder. He grabs her wrist and tugs her towards him, chasing the curve of her smile. She laughs into his mouth and it taste like strawberries and freedom, and he presses a kiss to her cheek, to her jaw, and the side of her neck, resting there, breathing against her skin. After a moment her hands come up and slide in his hair, gently untangling the knotted mess.

“He is one thousand percent going to put a zombie in your bed, you know,” she says after a moment.

Percy snorts. “Yeah, I know.” He smiles. “Worth it.”

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

We're so back baby! Happy weekend everyone, apologies for the delay whilst I've been away travelling. I HAVE been reading lots on my trains however, so here's another round of the fic I've been reading this fortnight whilst not actively flailing over the glorious new episodes. As always you can find previous rec lists here. Some light spoilers for new episodes.

6 October 2024

still the bone remembers, still it wants by @eddiebabygirldiaz in which 'Eddie goes to therapy and learns how to want. Buck helps.' Ohhh I absolutely adored following along on this ride as a wip and now it's complete in all its glory! From his childhood responsibilities looking after his sisters, through the events of season 4 and 5, Eddie struggles with identifying what he wants in life, and Frank gives him homework to make a list of simple desires for just himself. What follows is a beautiful journey of unpacking what's in his heart, with the most gorgeously in love and enamoured Buddie. The imagery in this fic melted me, from the orange tree to dancing and more. Indulgent in the best possible way. I'm still swooning from how much they love and laugh together!

tell you my sins (sharpen your knife) by @sonofatoasterwaffle from sweetness to....Hot Priest Smut! (And yet somehow, still sweet?!) This is gloriously fun and filthy and a little tongue in cheek crack treated seriously, in which Eddie deals with his recognition of his feelings for Buck by fucking a Priest about it....and makes Fleabag eat her heart out. It's 'for anyone who dreams about reclaiming pieces of the religion that hurt them in a fun and sexy way.' Featuring incredibly funny Bobby along the way. Poor guy.

oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins) by @capseycartwright on the other end of the Catholic Guilt explorations comes this 'Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.' In which Eddie seeks various methods of support in dealing with the fallout from season 7, from therapy to a veterans group to reexamining his childhood and his relationship with God. Really beautifully achey and cathartic and uplifting.

Take My Oxygen (This Plane is Going Down) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels ahhh I had so much fun reading this! Buck is a succubus, and the firefam a mix of fae and humans in the know about the magical world. Eddie is a new recruit, and he can't help but find Buck mesmerising as they become best friends. But Buck has been coping with his inadvertently fatal (to his partners) natural state through a series of unhealthy mechanisms and it's taking its toll. When we say Eddie would step over the body to help support Buck...this is this fic! And yet it's also so supportive and sexy and a weaves in canon in such surprisingly effective ways!

the moon don't hang quite as high by @glorious-spoon in which 'after Bobby and Chris leave, Buck breaks up with his boyfriend, tries not to punch his new boss, and worries about Eddie.' I am so incredibly obsessed with the dialogue in this fic, it captures Buck and Eddie's voices and idiosyncrasies so well and the patter of their banter and friendly bickering, particularly how weird they are about their own and each others relationships (affectionate.)

The Write Way To Love by @spotsandsocks this was such a cute AU, in which Buck is an anxious children's fantasy author and Chris (and Eddie) are some of his biggest fans. Running an art competition for children to submit their drawings to be printed in his next book, the elusive E. Buckley makes a rare public appearance and bumps into single Dad Eddie, where sparks fly. Can Buck get over the voice in his head self sabotaging his path to happiness? This fic hit very close to home and I had so much fun reading it, and loved Christopher's voice in it so much!

a sweetheart (to hold when i'm alone) by @clusterbuck at all times on my Give That Man A Cat agenda, directly following on from the zoom call in 8x01, Eddie finds a stray in his back yard, adopts her and falls in love. Things might not be healed with Chris but perhaps they can take tentative steps forward. Eddie holding on to the mask even as it fractures, and yet not giving up, finding inner strength and outlets for all the love he holds in his heart.

cool dry place by @gayeddieagenda 'After a long summer, Buck and Eddie try to figure out if this is the right time.' Another which just nailed the voices so well, I love the patience of this fic, a really lovely look at restraint and allowing grace time to heal and feel surety, without punishing characters for needing time, and with a beautiful sense of precipice for a new relationship.

And finally two tumblr fics from @hotshotsxyz, the taste of iron a powerful alternate ending following 8x01 (what if Buck hadn't tackled Gerrard) with a brilliantly effective mirroring of the shooting arc, and a hilarious Brad Torrence POV fic from 8x02 this method acting (might pay our bills) in which we hear his inner monologue whilst riding in the back of the stolen fire engine with Bobby and Buck. Perfection!

That's it for this week, bee seeing you soon after Athena and Jem land this plane!

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

feeling like shit rn, can you please write pete teasing his drunk baby and cleaning her up, holding her hair back when she pukes, she's like "i'm a mess, how can you love me" and he's kissing her face, that kind of fluffy shit <3

this is so stinkin cute

YOUR GIRL- P.B PARKER

Pairing: Boyfriend! Peter x Girlfriend! Reader

Word Count: 843

Warnings: some swearing, and vomiting ofc. but petnames and lots of fluff:))

"carry me to my bed, lay me in a pillow town kiss me on my head and remind me of the way we will not know

i wish i was your girl..."- your girl, lana del rey (unreleased)

“M’Peter I’m done. No more.” you moaned, your body feeling weak and achey as you leaned against your forehead against the toilet seat.

You felt like you were being punched in the gut, pins and needles pricking your clammy skin as the world began to spin again. The booze was rushing to your head, and you started to regret drinking so much.

Actually, you started regretting it nearly half an hour ago, the cool bathroom tile becoming an secret oasis for you as you heaved up sweet coolers and warm shots of fireball.

“No, no baby you gotta get it all out. You’ll feel so much better.” he cooed from above you, hand holding your hair back, the other stroking your back in small, soothing circles.

You were jealous of how much better he could handle his alcohol. You were jealous of the fact he didn't have the taste of sickly sweet six percent on his teeth, mixed with the taste of faint vomit.

“I’m not feeling better. M’feeling worse. You’re lying.” you stated, groaning as you felt the contents in your stomach roll over like a tidal wave.

“I never lie sweetheart, you know this. Stop being mean.” he laughed, watching as you weakly attempted to reach behind yourself to swat at him. Before you could make another sly comment back, it was too late.

“Oh g-god-” you hiccuped, leaning further towards the toilet bowl as you felt the room start to spin.

“Oh, there she goes. Atta girl, let it all out.” he winced, patting your back as you heaved everything up, feeling as if you'd choke.

“Good girl. See? It’s better.” he said, reaching over to grab the damp cloth he had been using to help clean you up, so you’d stop (attempting) to use the back of your hand as a means of getting the puke off your lips.

“No not better. You’re better.” you moaned, not relaxing your words had made no sense.

“I am better. Now look up for me, good girl.” he smiled as you obeyed, makeup slightly smudged as he wiped the warm facecloth across the lower half of your face. Leaning down, he scattered kisses across your face, leaving you giggly as his lips brushed every inch of skin, tickling your eyelashes.

“I’m a mess, how can you l-love me?” you slurred, hearing the toilet flush before he helped you stumble upwards to stand.

“You’re not a mess. You’re beautiful.” he shoke his head, and you reached for the edge of the counter to help steady yourself.

You felt awful. You knew tomorrow morning would be hell on earth, and you already could predict the amount of tylenol and gravol you’d have to down with lots, and lots of water. It seemed like a chore, so out of reach as you felt yourself being guided towards the bed.

You couldn't even remember whose bed it was. It certainly wasn't yours.

“Do you wanna try and get out of these clothes?” Peter asked, to which you could only nod. Exhaustion washed over your bones, and you felt weak and nimble as thread as you swayed in place.

“I need them off. They’re sticking to me.” you complained, feeling like a rag doll as he moved your limbs to better suit his needs, lifting your arms up to slide your shirt off.

“I wish I was your girl. I wanna be your girlfrienddd.” you blurted out, slouching back on the bed, head pressed against the crisp sheets and you breathed them in. They were coated in the smell of Peter, and a sigh of relief escaped your lips as you realized you were safe in the comfort of his bed.

You could hear his laughter, though it sounded slightly muffled and distant as he unbuttoned your jeans, sliding the deminum down your legs and letting them plop onto the floor with the rest of your garments.

“You are my girlfriend silly. And I wouldn't have it any other way.” he hummed, shuffling you around so you were vertical, head collapsing on the pillow.

“Really? That's so sweet.” you smiled, content with the idea that the two of you were together (despite being a couple for over a year), as you always wanted.

“Lets just stay here. We can stay here all night.”

“We are staying here all night. And all day, most likely. You’re not moving in this condition.”

You smiled. “That means more time to cuddle.” you giggled, and he leaned over to kiss your forehead before turning away.

“W-where are you going? I thought we were going to cuddle, cause you’re my boyfriend and that's what they do!” you pouted, reaching aimsley for his hand in an attempt to keep him from leaving you.

“We will cuddle baby I promise. I’m gonna get some stuff like meds and a bucket okay? I’ll be right back.”

You nodded, letting your hand fall limp against the sheets. Before you could stop them, your eyelid started to droop, the world turning dark as you dozed off into dreamland.

[planetsallalign]

Things I’m currently worried about.

My sisters upcoming surgery to release her tethered spinal cord. She won’t be able to basic tasks for 2+ months. With potential 6 months to 1 year for full recovery. A walker for awhile after surgery, physical therapy to help. And her anxiety has ramped up to when she video chats me she is sobbing so bad she can’t breathe. She can only focus on the what ifs and worst possible outcomes and spirals out. She’s starting therapy soon to help with that because after talking with her I didn’t realize how bad she has gotten.

My mother just telling me she’s had a lump for 3-4 years that she finally mentioned to her doctor and is getting an ultrasound on it. Which should be fine but what they’re calling it if you look it up the potentials are infection in the limb (no signs of any of that) or possible lymphoma/leukemia symptoms. Upon reading those symptoms I’m nervous. Because she will get so weary and achey by the afternoons she can barely move. And will say it hurts in her bones, but chalks it up to she must have whole body arthritis.

My father’s calcium score test that shows he has a blockage in the artery they call the “widow maker” and is being put on a statin ASAP. They’ll call to schedule a stress test which will be the does he need a stent or not decision. He came home yesterday from the grocery store with his statin, ice cream and mini powdered donuts. He doesn’t seem to get that yes you exercise hard and are in shape but it doesn’t mean you get to eat whatever you want. Because that’s how he has thought about it for years. Now I get to be bad guy and change his diet.

I’m sure it will all be ok and everyone will be fine/recover. It’s just a lot at once and I’m always the calm, keep it together one who is the rock. And all I want to do is scream.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey, Sex Witch! This one's uhhh probably different than your usual fare BUT here goes. I'm pretty close to middle-aged, monogamous (m/f), and having some trouble with like. positions. Because we're both like ow my knees and ow my hips and yes this is the one position that seems to work but now we're BORED. Which has led to all sorts of anxiety issues around initiating and having sex at all. Do you know of any resources to help a couple of old farts out?

hi anon,

this is actually soooo normal for what I do here! a lot of Sex Witch Advice(TM) boils down to "okay, so try something different then," and that's exactly what we're going to do today!

right off the bat if knees are an issue: hey. have we tried some padding. you could buy, like, this 95 dollar sex pillow from goop if you really wanted to

but you could also just, like, fold up your own blanket or strategically place your own pillows to do exactly the same thing! padding in general can be a huge help; just prop em up wherever you need them to support the parts of your body that need support and go to town.

or, hey, just buy some knee pads and/or knee braces. this may just be the roller skater in me talking, but knee pads are so sexy. having sex that requires its own gear is soooo sexy, and knee pads are no exception!

this is lingerie. to me.

also, pro tip for you and anyone reading this: this also 100% applies to things like wrist or elbow braces! any supportive devices! whatever you need to support your body and keep it comfy during sex, just do that!

aside from just padding things out, let's talk about sex that requires less hip movement. y'all have, presumably, fingers and mouths and a variety of exciting erogenous zones, all of which can be combined in fun and exciting ways.

there is also a wide, WIDE world of sex toys out there to explore together. hips too achey to thrust much anymore? that's fine; just buy a thrusting vibrator and get each other off that way, babe. I've heard particularly great things about Hot Octopuss, a company that found unexpected popularity with elderly customers who enjoyed how accessible many of their toys were for bodies that aren't quite as flexible as they used to be, but obviously anything that tickles your fancy is fair game.

(just, you know. check the packaging to make sure it's body-safe. no jelly dildos, so help me god.)

it sounds like the problem absolutely isn't you and your partner not wanting to bone. in a strange way I consider it a great sign that you've gotten bored, because it tells me that you and your partner like variety and expect to have fun when you have sex together!

to me, that means you're in a fine position to get back in the swing of things by doing a little experimenting together. approach sex like a game, playing together find out what works. try things like the list of positions offered in this article, seeing what works for you, what doesn't, and what just feels silly. when something doesn't work for you, that isn't a failure - just a learning experience, and a great opportunity to laugh together.

listen, you guys are in a super cool part of life where the gift of your lived experience is starting to make itself known and require different accommodations. learning how to do that now is GREAT, because (if everything goes right) you're just going to keep getting older, and your body will continue to change! how great to get to learn what intimacy will look like as you spend more of your lives together!

[musedriven]

tiny updates; going to full hiatus now, but still am hoping to find tiny moments to write here ant there when possible. Things are a lot rn but nothing like major major just a lot of things happening all at once kinda stuff. Mostly work being a lot more intense as we shift fully into Halloween mode. My bones are doing better! Still achey, but a lot better. Got about 4ish more weeks of recovery on em but I’m doin a lot better now. Thanks again for the support bc whooo that was def the least fun of the stuff happening.

I am hoping, begging, wishing that I can get some writing in tonight I am desperate for my fave pastime and I miss my muses and moots so badly.

[ruvviks]

all that's left season one playlist explained under the cut if anyone is interested!

wouldn't it be nice - the beach boys

this song is the opening theme of the show and plays after a short sequence that explains the situation in the world up to the apocalypse; disease and crises plagueing the world to the point humanity has no other choice but to come together and try to make life more livable for everyone. the sequence ends with saying that things are finally starting to look better, and then it instantly cuts to the opening of the show with the cars of the main characters driving through a tunnel in the wasteland of the united states, with this song playing over it and the title appearing in the middle of the screen. it's a very ironic opening theme since things WERE in fact starting to look better, and then the world ended

put your head on my shoulder - paul anka

this song is featured in "opportunity falls" which is exactly what it says. the huge megalopolis suffers from multiple breaches across the entire length of the wall allowing a huge horde of what appears to be mutated ghouls in, and it loses control of the situation to the point it can't be saved anymore. this scene specifically features part of the main characters as they drive away from opportunity, while the wall is blown up by the megalopolis' faulty security system, allowing even more ghouls entry through the rubble. i initially wanted to use "what a wonderful world" by louis armstrong for this scene but the current song fits the rest of the vibes of the playlist better, while having similar energy to the other song

the introvert - st.arnaud

this song is featured in "rendezvous" in which the main characters all travel north to a supposedly abandoned facility once used by matrix corp, to meet up there, since the breach in opportunity caused them to be split up. it plays over a travel sequence for three of the main characters- mac, beau, and vladislav- and essentially emphasizes the similarities between the three of them despite the vastly different backgrounds they come from. i mainly picked the song because it has fun vibes for a travel sequence, but it fits with their personalities as well

dear mccracken - bug hunter

this song is featured in "wasteland blues", a chapter with slower pacing since the main characters find themselves stuck in a settlement that initially seemed friendly but at the same time seems to be holding some sort of secret. it's specifically a song for mac (whose pov is followed most in the story), who is curious about what's going on and decides to investigate; which is a nice parallel to what this song starts with. it basically serves as mac's introduction song, which is strange because the story has already been ongoing for a while at this point. but it lines up perfectly with mac's personal struggles throughout the story- he IS a main character, but would rather not see himself as one, and constantly shoves himself to the sidelines to let others take a place that is rightfully his

achey bones - the happy fits

this song is featured in "something not quite right", which is both a reference to the evil within 2 (one of my favorite games of all time), and in this case it refers to the chapter in which the main characters find themselves traveling through a town where some sort of local militia seems to have taken control- but for some reason something about it doesn't seem right, in ways i won't elaborate on for now. they meet a young girl who was born and raised there and despite her family having been killed, she refuses to leave; the song is a breakup song and in a way parallels her situation with town and having to let go of it in order to get herself to safety. the vibes of the song are very cheery, which is in line with the rest of the playlist, and it contrasts the heaviness of the situation the main characters are in

growing pains - sophie meiers

this song is featured in "houston falls", a painful parallel to earlier in the season with opportunity, and the scene playing out is painfully similar too; houston's wall blowing itself up because of faulty security systems, but rather than leaving the town exposed to ghouls, it opens the way for an enormous horde of ghouls to follow the main characters out of the city back into the wasteland. this song plays over the scene in which all of that happens, causing the urgency and seriousness of the situation to really settle in for both the main characters as well as the viewer

weeds or wildflowers - parsonsfield

this song is featured in "acts of kindness", another slower part of the story in which the main characters have reached a friendly settlement and they decide to stay there for a while to help them setting up defenses for the incoming horde of ghouls. they don't know whether or not it's going to help at all, but do it anyway- which is where the title "acts of kindness" comes from, and it also relates to the song since "weeds or wildflowers" also refers to an unknown outcome. it plays over the sequence in which these defenses for the settlement are built

thick skull - paramore, julien baker

this song is featured in "everybody dies", a bit later in the show when the main characters are just leaving another settlement and they've been violently attacked by a horde of mutated ghouls. they haven't suffered any losses, but they've taken a great hit, and the gravity of the situation is kicking in more and more the closer they get to los angeles. it also seems as if trouble keeps finding them wherever they go, which also lines up with the themes of the song

a teenager in love - dion & the belmonts

this song is featured in "welcome home", which is the last episode of the season. the main characters have managed to safely make their way into well-protected los angeles and the characters who live there return to their families and friends and introduce their new friends to them. it's a light-hearted song playing over a sequence showing a happy ending and new beginnings, but at the same time there's this looming feeling of doom since you can see that there's still 5 whole minutes to the episode so this can't be the end

heaven - partybaby

this song is the closing theme of the first season and it plays while the end credits roll. in the moments before that, the main characters are shown going to bed now that they've settled back in, but suddenly loud sirens start going off in all of los angeles, and it cuts to black, and the credits start rolling. the sirens keep going at the same time though, while the song starts playing too, and the viewer can hear people screaming and crying, cars driving wildly, gunfire, and ghouls. the song references the west coast (where they are right now) and sings about "cause we're all gonna die one day anyway / they say we're all gonna be together in heaven" which is fitting for this moment, since the viewer is essentially listening to people dying horribly to ghouls. it's a horrifying ending to the first season and makes you look forward to season two

[narrators-journal]

A new moon rising: Chapter 1

Ngl, I learned the hard way with my other story. Do NOT baby this shit lmao. I love these two, I adore you all greatly, but I’m sorry. I’m not taking damn near a year to post a fic again. We are posting these parts as soon as they’re done basically. Warts and all. I can write more scenarios to answer questions or shore up plot holes if I need. For now? Just enjoy this lil ditty, and humor me besties. With any luck, ya bitch won’t drop this.

Next part: Here

Masterlist: Here “See ya next week, Mochi!~” The girl sang as she jogged off to the train station, with a plush toy tucked beneath one arm and a wave thrown back to the tall brunette that stood outside of the arcade in the crisp evening air with a bright smile. At least, until his date left his view, then that smile dropped into exhaustion. The solid brick of the wall a welcome support when he let himself sag slightly in the dark hour. The same thing said about the soft burble of the decorative fountain and the chaotic mixture of theme songs from the games behind the brunette. “I need to stop letting my dates go so long…” he chuckled up to the heavily round moon that stared down at him from the star-speckled sea of blue. Though, of course, the silver eye didn’t respond. It simply continued to watch him when he broke eye contact and pushed off of the bricks with a pained wince. No comfort, no assurances, just an ever present observer to the dull ache that zipped down the brunette’s spine as he left the mall. Though, Ryoji Mochizuki didn’t head for the boys dormitory to lay down and rest his achey bones. Instead, he took some time to wander the dark, peaceful streets of tatsumi port for some time to think. Something that he often did after dates, even when his pale skin felt as if it was about to slough off of his bones.

But, ever since he’d moved to the port, nightly walks to admire the soothing calm of the dark winter hours were the only moments of alone time that he got. So, even when his body began to ache and burn, he savored the time outside of the crowded boys dormitory. Between school, his part-time job, how crowded and noisy the dormitory could be, the time he spent with Junpei, chasing Minato, or going on dates, the brunette was rarely left alone in a day. And, he wasn’t mad at that fact, Ryoji was an exchange student, and that ‘new toy’ thrill was sustained by the amount of confidence and charm that he had. Paired with the fact that Ryoji was relatively tall, with dark hickory-colored hair that he kept swept back, and vibrant blue eyes, he was well aware that he was popular, and he did enjoy that popularity.

Though, it does nothing with Minato… He thought as he passed one of the zombie-esque people that seemed to be the only ones to wander the shadowy streets with Ryoji beneath the silver light of the inescapable moon. I guess I can’t be too upset though, Minato’s not the type to care about social opinion. Naturally, other girls and guys liking me won’t make HIM like me.He unhappily sighed at that point, but he knew Minato well enough to know it was true. Even if he does fucking like me, and is just a brat about it. An angry voice whispered in his head, which, was equally true.

Granted, if Ryoji had been at Gekkoukan a month, only a week of that had been spent in conversation with the midnight-haired emo beauty, but the brunette could still tell. It was as if he had some psychic sense when it came to the grumpy man, so Ryoji knew that Minato was, at a minimum, attracted to him in a physical sense, even if he wouldn’t admit to it. Which, was what seemed to encourage the tall brunette in his pursuit of him.

Though, there were multiple reasons for that pursuit. The way that Minato never had a consistent scent, as if he’d simply used what was within reach in the shower that morning, his storm-grey eyes, a voice that teetered between exhausted and annoyed, and a sense of humor that was as dark as the mariana trench.

“Mochizuki.”

Ryoji blinked back to reality at the sound of Aigis’ voice in the damp air of the...discolored night. “Aigis? The hell are you doing here?” He asked, though his eyes couldn’t seem to actually look at the blonde woman that stood a bit ahead of him on the moonlight bridge. Though, she seemed unbothered by the tornado green sky, cold, stagnant air, and sudden silence of the night. “Where...even is here?” “I am here to correct my mistake.” The blonde said in a serious voice that seemed to freeze the damp air to the brunette’s skin. The rush of the water beneath the long bridge a deafening roar in the tall man’s ears as the blonde continued. “I have remembered what you are, Mochizuki.” “N-no! Aigis...I’m-” “You are the embodiment of death. I remember that now.” She said, her...well, Ryoji’s vision had begun to swim, so he couldn’t tell what was on her feet, but it heavily clunk against the asphalt as she approached him. So, he stepped back from her as he squeezed his eyes shut and tangled his fingers into his hair. “No. I-I’m Ryoji-” “You are Thanatos.” She corrected, “You are the shadow of the thirteenth arcana.” “No! No, Aigis stop it!” He ordered, tears in his eyes and his words bouncing in his skull like a bunch of wrecking balls. And, when he lifted his head to look back at her, he saw that she had stumbled back. You’re a robot, how can I affect you?

Sadly, he got no time to ponder the question, because the blonde’s fingertips flipped back to force the- god am I even a man?- the brunette into a mad scramble across the asphalt. Which, wasn’t made easier by the pain that throbbed in his skull and through his body, nor by the clouds of dirt and rock that was sent into the air when Aigis’ bullets shredded Ryoji’s sun-colored scarf into rags. Somehow, he managed to avoid being hit by the projectiles directly, though, yet, no matter how he dove, scrambled, and ran across the moonlight bridge, Aigis simply reloaded. Stop it! Stop! Make her stop! Ryoji plead, though to who, he was too panicked to be sure.

He felt pulled in far too many directions. While his body seemed to run on autopilot, his mind was aflurry with a cacophany of thoughts. Dots that he didn’t want to connect, connecting, memories, explanations, all moved too fast for him to get a grip on in the moment. Yet, at the same time, there was something that weighed in his mind like a mountain in the hurricane. A cold hunger that crept in on him like a lioness in the sahara as he threw himself to the bullet-pocked bridge. “Stop it!” Ryoji screamed at the top of his lungs, not caring who it was at anymore. The presence in his head, the thoughts, or Aigis, he didn’t care. He simply wanted everything to stop.

And, it did.

Silence fell back over the discolored night as if the entire world held its breath. Ryoji’s thought, the gunfire, even the water below them seemed to freeze for a second at his command. At least, until the brunette braved a glance back at Aigis. Able to see that she’d been rooted to the spot on the cracked asphalt, her arms still raised with her fingers aimed at the tall man. Yet, as he watched her through the thin curtain of hair that had fallen into his widened eyes, her arms fell to her white-clothed sides, and soon, she fell to her knees. Her own sky blue eyes now dull and lifeless.

Now that she wasn’t on the attack, Ryoji could drink in the gold metal that glinted in the yellow-green light of the engorged full moon, the other shiny metal of the blonde woman’s body as she collapsed onto the bridge. She’s a robot, how is she dead? He thought, his breath slowed with his heart rate, though his head still throbbed with a pain that he ignored, sure that it came from too many thoughts, revelations, and the weight of that presence in the back of his mind. “But you cannot stop at a mere robot, my child.”A female voice barely whispered, as if a woman was whispering at him from a mile away. But, he heard her, and as he looked down at the non-functional blonde. His classmate. Minato’s classmate.

Ryoji’s stomach fell into his shoes.

Oh god, Minato. He thought, an anxious, miserable lump in his throat, If Aigis is in the Dark Hour, he surely is too. If he finds her like this… Tears burned the corners of Ryoji’s eyes at the mental image. He knew this...the truth that sat in his belly like a cinderblock, was too much to explain. To expect that his other half would understand. And it hurt to know. “You know what you must do, my child. Do not falter.” That woman said again, but he ignored her with no real thought towards it.

He scooped Aigis up off of the weakened bridge and bolted to the side of the bridge to look down at the cold, sluggish water beneath his feet that was colored a darker shade of green in the sickly color of the moon.

Surely, as a robot Aigis wouldn’t respond well to water. Not with the gaps that acted as her ball-and-socket joints and exposed her gears and circuitry. So, when Ryoji stepped onto the railing with her limply in his arms, he knew that it was a death sentence for the girl. For one of Minato’s friends. But, he still jumped into the water with her.

He clung to her as the wind swept his disshevelled hair back once more before the dark, icy water swallowed them both. Darkness blinded the man, his scarf suddenly over his mouth and nose as if to further drown him. As if I can die… He thought. Though, at the same time, a robot couldn’t die, yet he could feel her body heat up from all of the wires and circuit boards that seemed to wail as they were awash with the same river water that stirred her straw-colored hair around her lifeless expression.

She was almost beautiful as they sank. Without the snarls and glares that she always showed him, her face was perfectly sculpted like a barbie doll’s, her eyes were a lovely shade of blue, and her hair would frame her face wonderfully. Of course I would find her beautiful like this. When she’s as dead as a robot can be. He thought as he let her go to watch her sink to the muddy trash and plants that occupied the water. Meanwhile, up above, he could sense a familiar soul’s approach.

Naturally, Ryoji couldn’t hear anything above the roar of the water that flowed over him, but he could feel Minato. The same way that he could feel his scarf tug at his throat in the current, he could feel the dark-haired man above him. Could almost track him when he looked around at the many, many bullets embedded into the asphalt and called for Aigis in the discolored hour.

Until, finally, the green sky seemed to recede back into the moon as it shrank. In it’s place, the sky’s normal dark purple-ish blue hue, stars, and silver light, but Ryoji’s senses remained. He could still sense Minato’s chaotic soul above him, then more souls, Mitsuru’s, Yukari’s, the other SEES, all of them seemed to come to talk to Minato. And, while Ryoji couldn’t hear them, he could feel when they eventually left.

Only then, did the brunette surface. The silver light of the now-normal moon the only one to greet him, that and the sounds of cars far off, or too much awareness of the many, many souls that filled Tatsumi port. Which, he swam towards with heavy limbs and an even heavier heavier heart.

[outer-edges]

"[Joel's] calluses, once from building and providing for his family, fit perfectly around the barrel of a gun. They now belong to a man filled with so much anger and despair that he sometimes thinks it’s going to kill him. It doesn't. He keeps going."

"Joel’s always been good with physical pain. It’s almost a prerequisite in his old line of work. When he got home from work every day with bleeding hands and aching joints and burning eyes, taking physical pain in stride became a necessity if he wanted to keep providing for his family. That’s why he was able to haul himself out of bed and go to work every day despite his already achey back and bone-weary exhaustion, because he knew it was all for Sarah. You keep going for family. So he did. So he does. Ellie needs him to keep going right now, and he will."

those two are snippets i wrote in a long and tumultuous and entirely self-indulgent 'joel tells ellie the truth right away' au, but i find myself going back to them.

i know there's a lot of discussion about joel and ellie expressing their care through violence, but i am constantly thinking about how care and pain are almost inherently linked for joel.

i think it is so important to remember that joel was a blue collar worker before the outbreak, and that is so intrinsic to him as a person. speaking as someone with a blue collar worker father, that shit chemically changes your brain. in a way, joel spent his whole life training for this life. he wasn't a prepper like bill or anything, but when you're a blue collar worker dad providing for your family, the grind truly never stops.

joel working a double on his birthday isn't unheard of. it isn't insane. it's fucking normal, at least in my house it was. i guarantee you that man suffered from chronic pain even at his young age of thirty six, his hands were rough as sandpaper and beat to shit (they definitely ALWAYS smelled like saw dust and vaguely metallicy), and i wouldn't be surprised if he was starting down the road of hearing loss thanks to all the power tools. but he kept going. for sarah, for tommy, for family. there is this inherent toughness that is necessary to survive that kind of life.

he wasn't a survivor hardened by the outbreak. not that the outbreak didn't change him, but he's always been a hardened survivor. with the exception of what he does, not much changes for him. pain is still chronic. his hands are still rough as sandpaper and beat to shit. and his hearing loss is wildly accelerated by his attempt/all the shooting.

just as it was before the outbreak, joel deals with the pain after the outbreak because it's necessary keep himself, Tommy, then Tess, then Ellie, alive.

joel, while always being a caretaker, has already expressed so much of his care through his immense ability to bear pain, not committing violence.

[adam-n-dog]

Playlist!

My playlist :>

You're my Best Friend, Queen

Heart of a Dancer, The Happy Fits

The Valley, The Oh Hellos

Hold It In, Jukebox The Ghost

The Stand, Mother Mother

People, AJJ

Courtney, The Narcissist Cookbook

Ruler of Everything, Tally Hall

Touch-Tone Telephone, Lemon Demon

The Room Is Filled With People That Love You, Foresight

Misery Fell, Tally Hall

Never Meant to Know, Tally Hall

Let's Get This Over With, They Might Be Giants

Birdhouse in Your Soul, They Might Be Giants

Betrayed By Bones, Hellogoodbye

Good Day, Jukebox The Ghost

Beady Eyes on the Horizon, Jukebox The Ghost

Where Are All the Scientists Now?, Jukebox the Ghost

Spring and a Storm, Tally Hall

&, Tally Hall

Brave as a Noun, AJJ

Ibuprofen, Bears In Trees

Adam and Dog, David Arnold

The Whole World and You, Tally Hall

I've Got Some Falling to Do, Lemon Demon

Kiss Me, Son of God, They Might Be Giants

Istanbul (Not Constantinople), They Might Be Giants

Dirty Imbecile, The Happy Fits

It's Alright, Mother Mother

Achey Bones, The Happy Fits

Cody's Theme, AJJ

Rejoice, AJJ

No More Tears, AJJ

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Lemon Demon

Good Omens Opening Title, David Arnold

[bingebrunch]

man, laying/sitting on the floor/chair hurts so much more when you’re thin

same thing with sports bras, I swear I have the right size but it presses on my ribs so much its uncomfy

I didn’t understand the “thin & bruised” thing but yeah I get it now

everything presses and rubs on my bones and im achey. Do I just need more calcium or what

[buckdefencesquad]

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people

I only used songs from my library so this was sooo difficult because I was being so picky!

B - Back to me by Jack Savoretti

U - Upper Clapton Dance by Professor Green (this man had a CHOKEHOLD on me as a teen, my mum even arranged for me to meet him)

C - Chasing Twisters by Delta Rae

K - Knife Under My Pillow by Maggie Lindemann

D - Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know by Britney Spears

E - Emotion Sickness by Queens of the Stone Age

F - Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg (this song is sooooo romantic!!! It just makes me feel all giddy when I listen to it)

E - Everything by MUNA

N - NFWMB by Hozier

C - Cambodia by Kim Wilde (there's something sooo strange and surreal about this song that I just love, like idk why but I listen to it and it makes me achey and nostalgic and sad but it's also such a bop)

E - Eat Me by Demi Lovato

S - Seasonal Hero by Orlando Weeks (this song makes me SOB!!!!!!!! it's just so beautiful and loving "I’ve your lipstick kissed cigarette you left in the tray It’s the last thing you kissed I can’t throw it away" AND "But now I find loneliness and being alone, Are two separate feelings, the firsts how I feel It’s the bone that stays broken the cut that won’t heal" MAKE ME FERAL!!!!!

Q - Quasimodo by Lifehouse

U - Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey

A - AA by The Neighbourhood Watch

D - Don't Let Me Go by Raign (idk what it is about this song but I loveeee it!)

Thank you for tagging me @kitjosten13 I love doing things like this

I'll (no pressure) tag @kirajockstrap @thiamsxbitch @fortheloveofbuddie @watchyourbuck @cosmicbrownieblog @callmenewbie @leewithme but also literally anyone who sees this and wants to do it! I love seeing what people pick!

[miguenhasthoughts]

My innards are vacant and my soul is hollow.

I see the rainy sky and know you must be hurting, your limbs must be cold. Rain doesn’t make me sad but the thought of what a storm does to your body makes me depressed all the same.

My chest is pounding and my mind is numb.

There’s dissatisfaction with those around me yet they offer support. Hollow as I am, it keeps me from drowning. Who do you have right now? I hope they can make you laugh, that they rub your achey bones, that they warm your feet and hands.

My words are lost and my presence devalued.