#and my ADHD brain likes the AO3 system

[bougiebutchbitch]

Don't tag ur reblogging spree posts i unironically love seeing whatever currently interest rots ur brain and suddenly getting so much of it on my feed. Like wow!! What is this! How interesting!! The world is beautiful!!! This is what Tumblr is for. <3

<3 <3 <3 I am baking a little cookie just for you and icing it so prettily. you get it. you understand.

[yomogi-mogi-mochi]

Orchid Child, Dandelion Child

Pairings: Riddle & Sibling MC (NOT a romantic pairing)

Summary: This is going to take after Riddle���s overblot, and short and sweet. The term orchid child/dandelion child refer to children who may have very specific/different needs for their development, and those who need less accommodations or specific requirements for their development, respectively. They may grow up in the same environment but everyone’s needs are different, one child may have different coping mechanisms than the other. MC is heavily implied to have dyslexia, ADHD/Autism, and OCD (the latter two of which are often comorbid)

Notes: My brain is so dead. Enjoy this very short piece, sorry it's been a while.

TW: Graphic descriptions of embalming (weird tag I know but listen listen listen hear me out‒), also mentions of blood and human biology; past domestic/child abuse, and mental illness

GN Terms for MC

AO3 Link Here

Masterlist

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Adjacent to your mother’s footsteps, you had always had a curiosity for the medical. Though it was never living bodies that enamored you. In death, biology levels all. Cremation, natural burial, or alkaline hydrolysis‒ no amount of money, or intelligence, magic, or talent would help anyone escape the inevitable. Whether able bodied, rich, poor, moral or not‒ all people returned to dust, bones, and decay. 

  Rituals like the embalming process always brought you a strange comfort‒ the draining and ejecting, bathing, refrigeration‒ the body incised, emptied of its filth, and sewn back up. Imagining the dissection of a body into each fleshy component relaxed your own‒ as if your cold body lay on a sleek, steel mortuary table, your jaws and eyes sewn shut and the biology of your body ready to be drained. Even if your insides were scraped out for people to see‒ you would not feel shame. No blood to rush to your cheeks, or your aching heart. Your mother had always dismissed this career choice, urging you to find something ‘more within your reach ’.

  Your body would be clean from its excrement, scrubbed of all the insides that capsized you from this world, and its people.

  Compartmentalization‒ your psychiatrist mentioned. It took you a few tries to correctly register the word in your head when you had gotten the report, you’re not sure if it’s correct. If you did not imagine this scene at least three times a day, you felt like your blood was going to burst forth from your membrane, hot and spastic, like a monstrous clot of nerves. Again. Again. Again. You cleansed this shaking contamination within you with whatever you could do. That’s wrong. You dig your nails into your palm, resisting the urge to lay the papers that were shuffled around by the headmaster on the floor, sorting and checking one by one if they were there. Again, again, again. You imagine an arterial tube weaving through the wounds of your hands, draining the warmth that itched against your skin, the function of your wandering eyes, and the defect of your mind.

  “I’ve signed off on everything. Is there anything else I can do for you, Mx.Rosehearts?” 

  “No, nothing else. Thank you, Headmaster Crowley.” 

  You gather the stack of papers in your file, you check through‒ quickly‒ your medical records, doctor’s notes, psych evaluations, annotated versions of section 504, interpreter documents‒ a variety of other loose papers that wedge inside the old file as best you can, just in case . Even for such a minute accommodation, lacking a legally recognized diagnosis prepared you for the worst. Rejection‒ a tumble and drag into a system not designed for you in mind. These accommodations were an afterthought after that system was built, something to make you “whole”. There were many experiences in your interactions with school boards that warranted preparations like this, which you scrubbed into your mind and routine. No one will help you‒ not the board, the teachers, your peers, your family‒ you must be prepared to advocate for yourself. There was never room for failure, and you made sure that these accommodations made up for your innate nature to do so in this system.

  You bow a perfect ninety degrees before you head out of the office, quietly shutting the door behind you with a soundless exhale. Adjusting the stack of papers in your file, you scurry off to the library to find a quiet corner to reorient yourself. You weave through the various open tables, the large seating area, and the comfortable nooks with beanbags‒ and instead, opt for your usual spot in the corner of the library, where you softly place the file on the desk. 

  That’s wrong. Again. Again. Again. Again. 

  You open and close the file four times, feeling a wriggling, hot feeling in your blood that completely halts your mind from moving forward with your process, despite the short amount of time you have until your next class. 

  No. Again. 

  With the sixth time, it feels right. You sigh in relief, thanking whatever higher being out there that the process didn’t take as long as before. Medical records, doctor’s notes, psych evaluations, annotated sections, interpreter documents. All in order, all there, only for you to see. A weight lifts off your chest as you shift your eyes around the library, and close the file. 

  You browse through the section of the library, running your finger along the spines of the books to spot a new read.  A mauve leather-bound book catches your eye, the gold letter glinting in the dusty light of the library. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: Other Lessons From the Crematorium you skim the summary on the back. Satisfied, you work your way to the counter, where the librarian checks out the book with a smile. She pulls out the book slip at the front of the book and a pen. 

  Riddle Rosehearts. 

  You almost make a sound at the name, but instead, you quietly chew in your inner lip to provide some sort of grounding for the whirling feeling in your stomach. You feel sick when you write your name in the same cursive as the name above yours‒ just like your mother taught you. 

  “ Again .” Your mother would say. 

  You write. She slaps your hand with a ruler, reaching over your shoulder to erase the word. 

  “ Again .” 

  You write. She slaps, she erases. 

  “ Again .” 

  You write. She slaps, the paper begins to fray from the friction of your eraser, and the tears that run hot down your cheeks. Inertia. Inertia. Inertia. You repeat the word in your mind, trying to mold it with your hands. But the black text above the frayed paper seems to weave together, jumble, congeal. You push the hot coal in the back of your throat, forcing your bruised hand to write. 

  That’s not right. Again. Again. Again. 

  Why can't you just do it the way you're told?  

  Medical records, medical recommendations, psych evaluations, doctor’s notes, annotated sections, interpreter documents. So much extra weight that folder holds that you have to carry everywhere with you‒ just in case . 

  Again. Again. Again. 

  You open and close the locker shut, twisting the locker combination each time. At this rate, you know you’ll be late to class, way past your accommodations agreements. You hope Professor Trein won’t make such a big scene. 

  When you arrive at class, you are miraculously left alone by the professor and your peers. Breathing a sigh of relief, you take your usual seat, finding a practice exam on your desk. 

  You didn’t properly shut your locker. People are probably stealing your stuff now, breaking your things, tearing your extra records into pieces. You didn’t properly shut your locker. The documents are ruined, and you have to start all over again. You didn’t shut your locker. You grip your pencil, bouncing your leg, digging your nails into your palm. Yes, yes you did lock it. Three times in fact. Still, a voice persists‒ you didn’t do it right. Again. Again. Again. You scratch, and pick at the broken skin of your palm. 

  Eventually, as you continue staring at the packet‒ you feel a stab at the back of your shoulder. A student jabs forth the packet of papers that were collected from the back with an exasperated face. The papers are basically thrown your way as you add your half blank packet to the pile, swallowing down your anxiety. Trein continues class as usual, going over the review sheet. 

  “Mx. (Name). A word?” 

  You freeze in your seat, in the middle of gathering your things for next class. Students’ gaze furl towards you, and you pick at the wound of your palm to calm the rising panic in your abdomen. Begrudgingly, you pack up your things, and head towards Trein’s desk. 

  “I will excuse your tardiness for today since you have accommodations, but that does not explain the almost completely unfinished practice exam that we took in class. Do you care to explain?”

  You refuse eye contact. “I…” There was no way to explain it with any sane sensibility, or without alerting your mother. “I apologize sir. I was distracted. It won’t happen again.”

  He sighs, you know he doesn’t believe you. It’s your condition‒ you look to the stack of accommodation letters and agreements tucked under his elbow, and you feel that weight in your chest. 

  “Please, sir. I’ll do anything to make up for it I‒”

  A hand is raised at your response, with a pinch at the bridge of his nose. “It’s…It’s quite alright. I know you are trying your best, considering your… situation . Please finish the packet before you come to class next time.” Trein hands the packet back to you, which you accept with a silent nod. 

  The situation, the condition, the baggage. There have been many terms used to describe your disablement from the world‒ each more alienating than the other. You draw blood on your palm once more, looking inside the crescent-shaped holes in your flesh. You feel nothing but the trembling deep in your chest. 

  You sit in the shared space of the Heartslabyul dorm, hoping that body doubling will allow you to finish your workload. Though it takes you some time, you manage to finish your work before the sun sets, and you scurry back into your dorm room to begin your book. As you try to relax, the thought of a missing assignment, a failed exam, a systematic blunter pricks at your skin, spreading and choking your flesh. You read the same sentence over and over, but understand nothing. 

  Why can't you just do it the way you're told?  

  You hear a knock at your door, seizing you from your thoughts. You sigh, shove whatever scrap paper that had been lying around into your book, and reluctantly open the door. 

  Riddle Rosehearts. 

  You remember him from his perfect handwriting, his words that mirrored your own mothers. You could never get the “R” quite right, something both your brother and mother scolded you for. 

  “Rule of threes, you understand what will happen when you fail the third time.” Again. Again. Again. 

  Riddle had always resembled his mother much more than you had‒ in voice, in appearance, in tone. “ Rule of threes, (Name). You know what mother will do to you when you fail the third time .” He extended your mother's violence with all his likeness to her, in his face that would look down upon you with aberration, and his tightened fists that dragged your head to look closer at the paper, and realize your error. Every way he came into contact with you had been wrapped, tightly as flesh, your mother's violence. 

  You imagine that cold table again, but Riddle’s silvery eyes tethered you to the moment. It was as if you could feel every shifting tendon of your body, every pull of sinew and blood that pumped blood rapidly to your heart, and the back of your ears. But the guilty look on his face reminded you of one of the rare times he had broken mother’s rules. You realized he was as much of a child too, that day. Stretched thin and tall to fill your mothers expectations. 

  His stare is unbearable, you push through the tension in your throat. 

  “Can I help you, Dorm Leader Rosehearts?” 

  You think you see his worried expression, but your eyes dart from his gaze when he looks towards you again. 

  “You left this on the table in the common room.” He extends you the file that you thought had been safely tucked with your belongings. Your vision begins to distort‒ graying and distancing as you attempt to keep yourself calm from experiencing your literal nightmare . “I thought you wouldn’t want anyone to see it.” 

  “I…do not, no. I would not wish to shame you, or this dorm.” 

  Riddle takes a sharp inhale. You unconsciously tightening your body‒ imagining the postmortem stages. Pallor mortis, your blood pools to the souls of your feet. Algor Mortis, your skin feels on fire, and cools dead, limp. Rigor mortis, you stiffen and contract. The nutrients of your body drained, breaking down to gray sludge. You prepare for the breakdown of your body, your psyche, and your soul‒ the wounds on your body are only evidence to your movement through temporality in this system. Livor Mortis, your blood bruises your skin. 

  “I did not…mean that. I only meant‒ I felt…” He sighs, looking towards the floor. “I’m bad at this. But I didn’t mean that this is something shameful. I only wished to protect your privacy.” 

  You avert your eyes, unsure of what to do with him wanting to protect you in some sort of way. Perhaps his overblot changed him, but all you see if your mother’s shadow, when you look towards him. 

  “It’s not important, I apologize for the trouble, Dorm Leader Rosehearts.” 

  Maintaining his grasp on the file, he attempts to keep this connection going. “There’s so much I need to apologize for.” 

  You only manage a strangled sound, afraid to pull the file towards you. Afraid of movement, of air, of space, of time, of him. Everything seems to strangle you, you know that it was precisely designed that way.

  He cups a hand over your own. You try to repress the tremble in your body from the searing feeling of his palm, too afraid to look, speak, or move. You remain still, like a corpse, hastily trying to turn off your nerves and the bursting blood in your body, slaughtering it, and draining all feeling from your body. It’s been so long‒ your body rushes to catch up. You’re always catching up. Always. 

  “I don’t want to upset you. I just came to apologize, but I understand if you don’t want to see me.”

  Your mouth is sewn with silence, your jaw caught in a tremor in your mouth. Quickly‒ your mind makes the decision to speak‒ mother never liked when you didn’t answer to her questions. 

  The words scrape through your throat. “I…” A gulp to lubricate the convulsing motions of your esophagus. “Nothing is wrong. I apologize, dorm leader Rosehearts. It will never happen again‒ I apologize‒ I will make up for it. Please.” 

  His gaze softens. “I’m not asking because I’m asking you to apologize, or make up for anything. I’ve learned some things…I wanted to make up, but, I want to make sure you’re okay first.” 

  “Are you okay?”

  You spare a glance at his face, almost caught in the worried expression adorned on his features. “I don’t understand what the purpose that question serves. I can’t understand…” Still, you worry what will happen if it seems like you blame him for your lack‒ so you shift the weight on yourself once more. “I am incapable…of understanding. I apologize.” 

  “Hey.” He mellows his voice as much as possible, releasing you from his grasp. “It’s okay.”

  “You asked me a question. I was incapable of giving an answer that satisfies you. That is a violation of the rules, is it not?” You retract your hands to your chest, pressing your nails into the wounds on your palm. 

  Riddle folds his hands, almost nervously fidgeting with them. You almost react visibly with awe at the sight. “Our mother may have been wrong about a lot of things. I only recognized that after I attended here, and made many friends who helped me understand that. I am extremely regretful of the things I’ve done to you, and the things I’ve said. There’s no excuse for the things I’ve done, but I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me someday‒ I want to reconnect, if you’ll allow me.” 

  You push the file against your chest. “...I don’t think it will be easy. For me, or for you. Especially for me.” 

  “Most things that are worth something aren’t. I realized something while I was overblotting.” His cheeks gradually bloom pink, a habit he’s had since he was a child. You remember the color most when he cried, but he looks sheepish. Igniting the same warmth in your cheeks, you look at his feet. Heels, you never noticed. He must be shorter than you. “I missed you. I really did. And I missed what we could have had. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been a better brother to you.”  

  “I think…I missed you too.” You admit. “I think neither of us can ask for help, we’ve been raised that way. We have drastically different ways of coping with that isolation.” 

  “I think so too. I have a lot of work to do.”  

  “ We do.”

  Rubbing your arm up and down, you soothe yourself‒ thinking of bodies and corpses, your skin buzzing from the thought of decomposition‒ what grows from them. The fruits of death lay thick and sweet on your tongue, as you stumble through a small smile. Riddle reciprocates.

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End Notes:

Obviously this is only a small glimpse into what healing from abuse and trauma is like. But it’s a start. The first steps count.

I’m also in no way shape or form attempting to justify Riddle’s behavior. He’s a complete and total asshole for sure, but he was a kid‒ I definitely see him as capable of change.

The terms Orchid/Dandelion child are relatively new, and I find the pop-psychology approach to it very distasteful (as pop psych usually is. do your fucking research people. PEER REVIEWED ARTICLES!) But I wanted to use the terms to kind of critique the notion of this divide between "resilient" and "nonresilient". It's just a matter of needs, which are different for everyone. Making this hierarchical distinction is arbitrary and often times ableist, as it normalizes a singular, hegemonic way of reacting/experience/compartmentalization/coping. Anyways read more disability studies if you want to know more.

Because I’m not officially diagnosed (my disabilities are not officially recognized by law because for me the disadvantages gross outweigh the benefits, like literally having your human rights stripped away) I don’t know the specific details of acquiring accommodations in a school setting apart from my position as a teacher, but please let me know if there are any errors in the information so I can fix them expeditiously

I also wanted to write about the systematic issues disabled people (particularly those with “invisible” disabilities or those who are “undiagnosed”), I feel like I’ve been experiencing a lot of issues and push back from a system which is not built for disabled people in mind (and often is used against the community in an attempt to eradicate the category). Furthermore, I wanted to explore the aspects in which traditional psychiatry/curative methods are not built for neurodivergent individuals specifically. We often get diagnosed (especially those who have been socialized or perceived as female) with other disorders because of the perpetual stigma against ADHD, and autism in particular. Mainly why I didn’t go the psychology/psychiatry route, despite (one of) my undergrad major(s). It would have been immoral for me to be one, if held up to the current regulations set by the American Psychology Association, or the regulations in my home country. Anyways, lots of problems I wanted to address‒ not sure if I was able to explore them more at length, but I’d like to do more of this in the future.

The book Smoke in your Eyes is a reference to Caitlin Doughty’s book. I highly highly highly recommend her youtube channel and any of her books tbh. She writes/talks a lot about death culture and our perceptions of death throughout history, and creating a more death-positive culture.

I wanted to avoid some of the common stereotypes and misconceptions of OCD, which is predominantly characterized by excessive handwashing, needing things very neat and in place. I wanted to explore the more internal obsessions, rather than focus solely on the external compulsions‒ as I feel like the external behaviors that are often portrayed in media don’t explore the inner workings that make the disorder so hard to live with (and treat).

[musashi]

status: have ADHD. brain likes instant gratification. brain doesn't like doing things if it can't be convinced they're worth the hard work.

problem: really, really, REALLY like doing monthly prompt writing event. write all summer and then DO NOT POST until september.

problem: incredibly easy to lose steam for writing without feedback/validation/hype. normally, write and post immediately. ao3 comments. yay! can't do that here.

solution: enter writing communities, fandom communities etc. implement two plans:

plan 1: talk about current writing. people show interest, hype you up. hurray!

plan 2: see if anyone there wants to read your writing early, and hype you up in the google doc.

plan results: SUCCESS! adhd brain can work with this. deadlines are no longer daunting. focus is honed. brain is wrangled.

problem: quickly run out of people who can keep up with how fast a motivated AuDHD haver writes. the pure, unfiltered love and obsession of autism mixed with the "I LOVE TO GO FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!" of ADHD proves a lethal combination.

end result: two years into implementing this system, i am left without anyone who can help me wrangle my brain.

end result: i can't write. i've been trying to focus on writing for two days straight, no distractions. i keep opening up tumblr and checking my notifs. my brain is wandering around like a sad dog trying to locate the attention it's used to. every time i try to tab back into the word doc i can physically feel myself recoiling, "THERE'S NOTHING FOR US HERE! DO SOMETHING STIMULATING!"

this is all very frustrating. i love writing. but i am still disabled and god it is so hard when you have no one who cares. i could scrape by with just one really good friend before. man

doing worse at meeting my goals/deadlines than i ever have. my adderall dose got upped, idk if its the manufacturer or what but this new dosage feels like absolutely nothing, not even the vague spark i got on my lower dose. i feel so hopeless. i want to figure out how to fix this, brute force is not working.

[dralione]

5 times Draco used Legilimency on Hermione +1 time she used it on him

Summary: Hermione has ADHD/AuDHD and Draco finds the way her mind works compared to others so fascinating he can't stay out.

Rating: T (non-graphic torture, a couple suggestive lines) ♡ WC: ~5k ♡ Ao3

A/N: my first published Dramione! (Looks at longfics languishing in drafts) Hope you enjoy! No beta; if you see any plot holes wither in the story or from Canon compliancy no you don't. Also I realise the summary sounds a little weird but I'm simply projecting as I write this Hermione and would like to find my own Draco who will find the way my brain is wired interesting/pos and not interesting/neg.

1. Wednesday, 10 January, 1996 (5th Year)

Draco shifted in his chair, glaring up from his parchment as the loud sound of a page turning interrupted his previously quiet study session. He was mildly surprised to find that the perpetrator was none other than the studious swot herself, Hermione Granger. He’d thought she had more respect for the sanctity of a library and its quietude.

A hint of colour crawled up her cheeks as she caught his stare, but she didn’t look away. 

A thought popped into Draco’s head as he held her gaze. Over the winter hols, his mother had begun teaching him Legilimency. He was still getting the hang of it, but practice made perfect, did it not? His target was already making eye contact with him, and he was suddenly overwhelmingly curious about the witch’s thoughts. Was she as boring as she came across on the outside?

Ooo, maybe he could get a sneak peek into Potter’s plans, if she let him that far into her mind. Well, it was worth a try. Despite being a ridiculously well-read witch, surely she hadn’t learned about Legilimency or Occlumency?

Moving his wand under the table, so she couldn’t see, he whispered “Legilimens,” instantly transporting to his rival’s innermost being. Stubborn swot had practically invited him in, with those gleaming amber eyes holding his and absolutely no mental resistance to his entry at all. 

He smirked to himself and looked around. 

Draco turned slowly in place in Granger’s mind, jaw dropped as he took in the thoughts absolutely sprinting around, too fast for him to possibly pin down and read. 

Merlin’s beard, had the witch actually become an Occlumens?!

This was not what he expected, compared to his mother’s neatly organised thoughts and carefully constructed walls and paths that held her memories. How was he supposed to delve into her mind and find what he wanted if there was no way to find what he was looking for? 

Granger’s mind was a veritable rabbit warren of thoughts and memories, all haphazardly rolling around in her head like stray Bertie Bott’s Beans on the Hogwarts Express. 

He had to give it to her, she had excellent defences that even a more skilled Legilimens than himself would have trouble wading through. 

And the volume, Salazar’s staff…he was getting a headache just from the decibels of those thoughts running amuck. He exited her mind and broke eye contact, silently letting her win the unspoken staring contest, too overwhelmed to look at her any longer. How did the witch manage to get anything done with that organisational system, nevermind be top of their classes? Sure, it was a great defence against Legilimens, but they were few and far between, surely she didn’t need them at Hogwarts (his prying experiment aside). That mental energy would be better spent retaining and organising their class information. 

Draco felt a sliver of grudging respect at Granger’s beyond-magical handling of Occlumency and schoolwork. He shivered in his seat. He wouldn’t be going in her brain again if he could help it.

2. Monday, 15 January, 1996 (5th Year)

Draco glared at the bronze curls ahead of him, willing Granger to quiet her thoughts. Since he’d first jumped into her brain last week, he couldn’t stop listening in, even when he wasn’t trying. 

Sweet Salazar, the witch was loud. Practically screaming her thoughts at anyone listening in. 

He really couldn’t make heads or tails of her behaviour. There was absolutely no reason for her to be broadcasting her thoughts like that – only a few students would even have heard of Legilimency. Surely she wasn’t playing bait, trying to lure him and/or his godfather into admitting something?

Somehow, Granger had become more interesting to him than Potter over the last week. It was only partly due to her annoyingly distracting thoughts that kept following him around. He found himself searching out her curls like a beacon for him to watch her, instead of to locate one of the two limpets usually by her side. He was, admittedly, curious about her organisational standards after his jaunt through her head. 

The more he heard her thoughts, the more he found himself able to make sense of the rapid-fire trails they’d blaze, often diverting from one topic to another quicker than he would have done. 

Looking back once he was out of her mental broadcasting range, he was able to follow her logic steps, but by Merlin, the convoluted ways she arrived at her destination! Draco wasn’t sure if he was impressed by her ability to arrive at the same conclusion by very different throughways or not. 

Ahead of him, Granger shifted, perhaps finally sensing his displeasure and quieting her thoughts. They slowed down, gathering in one easy-to-follow stream of consciousness as she mentally narrated the notes she was writing.

Finally.

Thankful for the reprieve, Draco bent over his own parchment, able to block out one uninterrupted thought flow better than a scattered bombardment of singular thoughts. Still, the applications she pulled out of whatever mental filing system she had –however confusing it was–

were always apt and several times provided a new angle for Draco to mull over.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He relegated it to the back of his mind, where most of his thoughts about Granger went these days, never to be seen or felt again.

3. Sunday, 15 September, 1996 (6th Year)

The form of one Hermione Granger slumped over her books in the library made Draco pause on his way past her table to the shelf he wanted. 

He’d missed her mental chatter over the summer as he learned Occlumency from his aunt and improved his Legilimency. However, with his new and improved mental shields firmly up since his return to Hogwarts, he hadn’t cared to attempt to breach hers again. He had better things to do with his brain than listen to her mental ramblings. 

Honestly, he felt a bit bad for her after he’d eavesdropped on her when she was with the limpets one study session. She certainly possessed a surplus of patience dealing with those two, considering the filter her thoughts passed through before they made their way to the limpets’ ears.

Cautiously, he attempted to listen in on her thoughts as he made his way behind her, out of sight and out of mind (well, in one sense). Nothing. 

Draco frowned. His Legilimency had only improved over the summer, and he couldn’t feel any Occlumency walls or shields. Her mind was simply…not producing thoughts. It was such a deviation from the norm that he began to grow worried that something had happened to Granger. 

He sent a small stinging jinx at her leg. She jerked, slapping at her leg as thoughts began to form, to his relief (he simply tossed that feeling in the pile of galleons holding his true emotions that were stored in his very well guarded mental horde, never to be considered further).

Ouch, what was that? She glanced around, but he was safely hidden behind the shelves. Oh well. You’ve got Charms homework to crack on, Hermione. She pulled a piece of parchment forward and dipped her quill in the ink bottle, tapping the excess ink off on the side absentmindedly as she began figuring out the wording of her essay. 

Two students walked by, whispering about the Quidditch tryouts the day before. Granger snickered as an image of Cormac McLaggen flying off in the wrong direction flitted through her mind like the Snitch taunting the Seekers. 

Confundusing McLaggen was too easy. I’m glad Ron got the spot. She flipped through the Charms textbook. Focus, ‘Mione, Charms!

Draco left her mind, humming thoughtfully. So the little swot had sabotaged the tryouts for her incompetent boyfriend’s favour, huh. How positively Slytherin of her.

4. Monday, 30 March, 1998 (7th Year)

The shaking form of Hermione Granger on his drawing room floor kept Draco frozen in his spot, unable to look away. Her expression was screwed up in pain as she bit her lip, trying not to let a scream escape. Suddenly her eyes flew open, meeting his and pinning him in place. 

His wandless Legilimency was weak at best, but with eye contact…

Legilimens.

Draco slipped into her brain easily, almost staggering as the pain of the Cruciatus curse spread to him. Granger, it will be okay. Hold on. You have to hold on, Granger. Please.

Mal-Malfoy?

Some of the pain in her eyes was replaced with confusion. He barely moved a muscle to nod reassuringly at her.

Yes, it’s me, Granger. Keep fighting. You have to, for all the others. You will survive this, I swear it. Just hold on a little longer, please, Granger.

Why are you doing this? A drop of blood trickled down her lip as she bit down harder.

I can’t stop my aunt, but I can take some of your torture. It’s nothing new. Just hold on, Granger, you’re not alone here. They’re coming for you. They’ll get you out of this.

But you hate me. You’re on his side.

Not anymore; I have to. For my mother and my sake. Just like you have to for Potter and Weasley and your sakes. 

Bellatrix cast another Cruciatus, determined to make Potter’s Mudblood scream. Draco took more of the pain from Granger, determined to give her that one minuscule victory of staying quiet. 

Granger squeezed her eyes shut again at the renewed assault, temporarily cutting off their connection. Draco took a large, un-Slytherin risk and lowered a little of his Occlumency defences, reaching out to Granger’s loud mental screams. 

Hush, Granger, I’m still here. Can you feel me through the mental link?

I thought Legilimency needed eye contact? She gasped. 

I’ve improved my Legilimency over the summer. I don’t need eye contact if your mental defences are down and you’re practically screaming in my head. 

Granger’s reply was cut off as she noticed something above her, her eyes opening in another convulsion. Dobby was unscrewing the chandelier in the drawing room above the gathered crowd. 

Come with us, she said, a flicker of surprise flashing after the words. Leave the Manor and him behind.

I can’t, Granger. My mother–

A vague sense of sympathetic understanding echoed through her mind underneath the spasms of pain. 

Just say a nice word at my funeral, will you? 

Dr–

He left her mind as Potter & Co appeared in front of the group, throwing them into chaos. At least his insane aunt was forced to stop cursing Granger and cast other spells instead. 

He half-heartedly wrestled with Potter over a couple wands, hoping the Death Eaters would be too distracted to notice the way he so easily let Potter wrestle them free. 

A flash of crystal as the chandelier dropped–

A flash of silver as Bellatrix threw her knife–

A flash and crack as the Order members apparated away–

And she was free. Draco closed his eyes. The Order would win the war, he was sure of it. What that meant for him, he no longer cared. 

5. Monday, 5 October, 1998 (1st Day of 8th Year)

Draco, from his vantage point at the top of the stairs to the dorms, looked around the common room at the combined houses mingling peaceably. He had an excellent view. 

The bronze curls and slow smile of one Hermione Granger, War Heroine, were warmly shaded by the light of the fireplace she sat beside, conversing with classmates. 

She had regained some colour to her skin over the summer, he noticed, and a handful of freckles besides. Her hair was more curl and less frizz, her eyes were livelier and less shadowed, though they showed her forced maturity no matter how much they sparkled (Draco didn’t think that those would ever disappear from any who had them), her body was curvier and less malnourished than when he’d last seen her months ago at his trial. 

He felt the edges of his lips curling up in a genuine smile as he sat and observed all the positive changes in her life and body. 

He’d thought he was well-hidden in the shadows (certainly everyone was treating him as though he were truly wrapped in Potter’s invisibility cloak), but suddenly her eyes snapped to his and she held his gaze, leaving no doubt that she had caught him staring. 

She quirked her eyebrow in silent question and invitation. He didn’t need Legilimency anymore to know how to read her, most of the time. 

He’d spent all his summer house arrest fixating on any scrap of news the papers published about her, of which there were plenty. Thousands of photos of the most famous and Brightest Witch of Her Age had been clipped and carefully transferred to his scrapbook. It was a little ridiculous at this point, just how thick it was. It was hidden the Muggle way, under the floorboard under his bed, along with a thick stack of letters they had exchanged in between her busy schedule of testifying, repairing battlegrounds and casualties, and healing herself, and his busy schedule of daydreaming as he scoured the papers

He shook his head slightly, making her brow drop and turn into a hint of a frown. He frowned back at her, motioning with a jerk of his head to continue her conversation, and got to his feet.

Draco, can you hear me?

He froze on the step.

I saw that and I’m taking it as a yes. Are you alright?

Peachy, Granger. I’m going to bed. Goodnight. 

…Goodnight, Draco. Sweet dreams.

He snorted. You take the sweetness for your own dreams. Ta.

He sat up with a gasp, uncomfortably sticky with sweat, his breathing fast and ragged. The nightmares had fallen off somewhat, but he supposed the first day back at Hogwarts had triggered their reemergence with full vigour. 

He settled back on his bed, turning his pillow over and resting his hands beneath it, the weight of his head grounding him. Once he’d slowed his breathing, he lay staring up at the shadowed ceiling. He reached out to Granger unconsciously, needing reassurance that she wasn’t still trapped in his drawing room with his aunt, unable to even have his mental support as he was held back with magical restraints. The dreams always ended up in his drawing room. 

Granger was asleep, seemingly undisturbed by night terrors. 

He flinched when he saw where Granger’s dreams had ended up. Surprisingly, it wasn’t like his nightmares at all. Bellatrix wasn’t there, or his mother. Only he and Granger were there, kneeling a hairsbreadth apart, his hand on her cheek, her hand on his knee. 

Feeling like he was intruding, Draco left her dream, returning fully to staring at the ceiling. Granger was safe and peaceful and that’s all that mattered. Whatever was happening in her dreams was none of his business. 

+1. Tuesday, 2 May, 2000 (2nd Anniversary of the Second Wizarding War’s End)

“Draco.”

He placed his glass of firewhisky down, turning to face his visitor. “Hermione. How are you doing?”

“Never better,” he smirked, some grain of truth to his words. “You?”

Her pink lips turned up at that. “Good. I’m content with my present. It is a bit difficult with all the,” she waved at the fancy surroundings, “circumstances, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” The room was filled with decorations and the setup for hundreds of people to celebrate the second year of Voldemort’s defeat.

“I’m pleased to hear that. You look good. The Ministry treating their Golden Girl well at her new job?”

She rolled her eyes, playfully nudging his arm. “Not you too. And yes, I’ve finally managed to get the preferential treatment left off. It only took, what, eleven months?”

“You should keep some preferential treatment, Granger,” he said solemnly. “Remind them that none of them would be here if it weren’t for you. Don’t let them take you for granted.”

She considered him, nibbling on her lower lip for a second as she bit back something. He was about to urge her to say it anyway when they were joined by Potter and Weaslette. 

“Potter. Weaslette.”

“Malfoy. Hermione,” greeted the couple. 

“Hello, Harry, Ginny.”

“I must admit I’m a little surprised to see you here,” said Harry, pushing his glasses up as he took a swig of his drink. Draco assumed he was talking to Hermione, given the circumstances.

Hermione made an agreeing noise. “I felt I should, even if I didn’t want to. I’ll find you later, Malfoy was just about to take me to get a drink, alright?”

The couple nodded and waved them off as Hermione’s hand slipped into his, pulling him away.

He blinked at their joined hands, then the back of her head as she steered them towards the bar.

“You didn’t want to stay and talk with your friends? I could’ve left.”

“No, you were there first. Besides, I wanted to talk to you in private, and we see each other much less frequently than I see Harry and Ginny.”

“Oh? Consider my interest piqued, Granger. What on earth could you want to talk to me about? You can always owl me and arrange a meeting some other time. I’m sure you still know my address, even if we haven’t written each other in awhile.”

She ordered a cocktail and leaned against the bar, turning to face him. “Do you know any place around here where we might have an uninterrupted chat?”

He hummed, tapping his chin in thought. “I may have an idea or two.”

Hermione’s drink retrieved and his topped up, he extended his arm to her and led them across the room, through dark hallways dimly lit by candle sconces, until he opened a door, gesturing her through. 

“Welcome to the private sitting room of Lady Malfoy, where none are sure to disturb.”

“Won’t your mother–”

“My mother is busy overseeing the anniversary ball, doing her best to continue polishing our name to return it to its former shine. Besides, she is quite fond of you and will be most obliging and understanding. Unless, by ‘private chat’ you meant a quick shag, in which case I am more than happy to escort you to my private rooms,” he winked, settling in the corner of the settee mere handbreadths away from her.

She blushed and rolled her eyes. “That is not what I meant. This will be fine, thank you.”

“Alright. What is so secretive that you lured me to this dark, isolated room, Granger? Should I be in fear of my innocence being tainted?”

“It’s just us now, Malfoy, you can stop with the cavalier facade. I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to help me learn and practise Legilimency.”

Draco blinked. “You’re learning Legilimency?”

“I’ve been informed that my natural Occlumency is quite advanced already,” she smirked at him, “and I believe it would be useful to learn Legilimency. You know I can’t tell you everything about my work as an Unspeakable, but I work with Memories and Obliviators. I think Legilimency would be quite useful to know in my line of work, and…well, I can’t think of anyone I’d trust more with my mind to teach me.”

Draco swallowed. “I won’t insult you by asking if you’ve thought this through, but just for my peace of mind, Granger, you really want me in your mind again? Even after…”

She nodded firmly twice. “I asked you to help me improve my Occlumency and mental resistance, especially against you, because I thought we both needed space apart from each other. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you or want you in my mind. You know I didn’t mind that, especially after the Incident. Now that I’m content with my Occlumency, I wish to learn Legilimency. I still trust you with my mind, Draco, we just needed some boundaries.”

He nodded, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and run his fingers through his hair. “My mind healer told me our bond was becoming codependent and unhealthy. I’ve finally seen your points,” he sighed. “ I- you’re ready to do this again?”

“My mind healer cleared me a while ago, but I waited to be sure both of us were. But if you’re still not…maybe today wasn’t the best day to bring this up, after all. I’m sorry, I’ll leav-”

His fingers were wrapped gently around her wrist before he even knew what he was doing. “No, stay, Granger. I’m ready. I just wanted to clear some of my past reservations up first.”

Her answering smile was brilliant. “Good! When would you be free to start, then?”

“Now?”

Hermione smiled at the sight of Draco’s blonde head sticking above the back of her sofa. One arm was resting along the back, his long fingers tracing aimless designs in the blue floral pattern.

She paused, struck by an impulsive thought. Pulling out her wand, she whispered, “Legilimens,” under her breath, transporting to his mind. She fell in instantly, surprising her considering the challenge he had set her to get into his mind when he wasn’t expecting her. Surely it wasn’t this easy…but it didn’t feel like he was Occluding…

She wandered through his mind, as always astounded by his neat organising, so unlike her own mental filing system. Hers worked perfectly well for her, but she had long felt Other for her strange ways of remembering obscure topics and collecting scraps of random information. She had finally come to accept her strangeness and embrace it, even, but she still had a little pang of jealousy at seeing his easy organisation.

 She strolled through the cave that was his mental fortress, surprised to not be greeted by his defending dragon. What was he planning?

She continued on her way, pausing to observe his vaults of memory-gems and emotion-coins, locked up behind steel and iron. The locks on some had become simpler, less guarded, from when they’d parted ways at the end of Eighth Year, and she wondered if she was seeing proof of his mind healer’s influence.

The vault she’d always been most curious about, at the back, was cracked open.. Taking it as an invitation, she peered in. It looked like a Gringotts vault, full of artworks and artefacts and piles of wealth heaped in the corners. Looking closer, each object held something related to her. Memories, feelings, dreams… 

Feeling like an intruder, although she assumed he’d let her in for a reason, she stepped in cautiously. A memory met her full-force.

October, Sixth Year

Draco glanced across the table to hers, where she twirled a curl around her finger, deep in thought over a thick tome. 

“Legilimens.”

He’d been getting the hang of wandless legilimency when he returned to Hogwarts, fresh from his aunt’s teaching. He’d practised on enough minds over the summer to know that hers was different, moreso than anyone else’s, and it intrigued him. 

At first, yes, it had annoyed him, all her loud, fast thoughts, but now he found it comforting to listen in. He enjoyed trying to figure out which Express her thoughts were going to take before she did, to try and follow her leaps of intellect and even beat her to her conclusions. 

And then there were her memories…the happy bustle of the Burrow (even if he was a little blinded by the sheer amount of gingers in one place), the summers out exploring with her Muggle parents, the interesting lives the Muggles lived and their strange inventions, the happy times she had with the limpets, she had so many happy memories. 

They all seemed tinged with a warm sepia glow, preserved by some force Draco wasn’t sure he wanted to know. It was a far cry from his own, cold grey and black shrouded in smokey vignette. Her memories simultaneously made him wish to turn them to ash and keep them in a Fiendfyre-proof vault. He left her head with a scoff and got up, leaving the library.

Hermione blinked, overcome with his emotions and the memory. He’d confessed in their letters before Eighth Year that he’d often slipped into her head, but she hadn’t fully understood it until now. Another memory flitted forward as the previous one slid back into Draco’s neat storage. 

March, Seventh Year

Draco was horrified to see her dragged into his drawing room by the Snatchers. His gaze flicked from her, to his aunt, to the Snatchers. He’d long since learned to temper his flight or fight response with freeze.

He’d stayed frozen until Bellatrix had cast the first Crucio and she’d met his eyes. 

It was strange seeing her memories through Draco’s eyes, especially once he’d jumped into her head and was seeing her thoughts. 

Granger, it will be okay.

She often recalled the first words he’d said to her when he entered her mind. And then she felt the phantom echoes of pain, and realised that Draco had absorbed some of the Cruciatus for her. 

Jerking out of the memory with a gasp, she panted for breath, hand on her heart, reminding herself that it was only a memory.

“Draco!”

He strolled out of the shadows of the vault, hands in his pockets, eyebrow raised in silent question. 

“Hermione.”

“You absorbed the Cruciatus for me?” Blast it, she could feel the sting of tears fast approaching. Now was not the time to cry. She blinked hard.

He shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? I’m sure that would have gone even farther to prove your case for acquittal at your trial!”

“Does it matter, Granger?” He sounded annoyed. “That’s not usually how this goes.”

She paused, confused. “How does it usually go, then?”

He rolled his eyes. “I have a nightmare about the Incident, you remind me it’s not real, we kiss, et cetera,” he waved his hand summarily. “Don’t know why I expected Dream-Hermione to be any less argumentative than Real-Hermione,” he muttered under his breath.

Hermione tilted her head, contemplating. So Draco dreamed about her. She’d thought nightmares about the Incident had decreased. But apparently he also dreamed about current-her comforting him. Interesting. She hadn’t been sure if he’d still be as fond of her as he’d been in Eighth Year, after they’d had some healing and time apart from their traumatic bonding experiences. Well, it was good to know her slightly-more-than-a-crush was reciprocated. 

“I’m going to ignore that, just this once. Draco, are you dreaming?”

He looked at her in puzzlement. “Obviously. I really don’t know why you had to change the dream from snogging me senseless to rehashing the Incident, though,” he frowned.

She raised her eyebrow. “Snogging you senseless, huh? That explains your absolute lack of Occlumency,” she snickered. “You were practically inviting me in. Guess your subconscious was tired of your lack of making a move and made it for you. Would you care to wake up so I can actually snog you senseless, then?”

Draco blinked, then his jaw dropped and a blush rose on his cheeks and eartips. 

She turned to leave, then remembered why she’d come in the first place. “Oh, by the way, since I was able to get into your head successfully, I’ll be claiming my prize of one wish from the loser. I’m sure you’ll quite like it, don’t worry!” With a wink, she left, leaving him gaping after her.

Hermione settled on the sofa beside him, smirking softly at his adorably flustered expression as he woke up and saw her.

“Er, Hermione–”

“Sh, Draco. You like me and I like you, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

“Well, I suppose–”

“Good, then. Based on the sheer volume of that vault about me, I assume we have many many snogs to make up for.”

He exhaled in defeat, a smile taking over his face. “You’re right, as always.” He winked at her, leaning in quite willingly to meet her in the first of many kisses.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. I remember that fic — lwg accidentally killed wwx and then raise Wen Yuan. JYL live in it. Sorry for mistakes — english is't my first language. Also it first time when I use tumblr too 😅 @derrenaissance​

FOUND? A Little Fall of Rain by Just_a_Girl_in_a_Crystal (T, 47k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Grief/Mourning, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Golden Core Reveal, Protective LXC, Protective LQR)

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2. A friend and I are hoping you can help find a fic for the next fic finder. It's a modern AU and LWJ is on the autism spectrum but wasn't tested until he was an adult because LQR either didn't want him tested or was in denial about it when LWJ was a child. There was possibly an aunt that was on the spectrum too. We can't remember anything else about it and have gone through the autistic lwj tag and our bookmarks on ao3 but none that we found sounded right. Thanks in advance!

FOUND! together, we’re just enough  by lulu_kitty (E, 134k, wangxian, past WWX/OFC, modern, younger LWJ,   bartender LWJ, older WWX, rich WWX, fluff, yearning, smut, bottom LWJ,   LWJ has scoliosis, slow burn)  

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3. Good day to all! There is a twitter fic that I wanted to read again but I forgot to save it (or like it). Can you help me find it?

Its about foxxian who goes into heat and he spend his heat with dragonji. Foxxian got pregnant and the jiang keep asking who is the father. Apparently, foxxian doesn’t know who is it. Then, when he gave birth, 3 eggs came out. The jiangs are shock. And when the eggs were hatch, all of them are dragons. So the jiangs knew now that the one who impregnant foxxian is a dragon from Lan Clan.

Thank you so much!

FOUND! Foxxian/Dragonji thread by @/cerbykerby (wangxian, cw: dubcon, mpreg, memory loss)    

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4. Hi! I wanted to know if anyone remembers that wangxian time travel fic where lan xicheng goes in this little sidequest where he adopts Xue Yang and Meng Yao??? I think??? And helped them have decent childhoods while wwx fixed everything else

FOUND? And Time Is But a Paper Moon  by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone  Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) Lan Xichen is shown the future by Wwx via empathy. He finds XY and MY when they are still kids and brings them to Cloud Recesses.

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5. hi!! Thank you for all the hard work you are putting! I'm looking for fic where wwx is in the hospital after a car accident. When he wakes up he doesn't remember lwj because he has a six years memory loss and the two of them met five years prior to the accident. They were also about to get married. Lwj played the violin for a living and composed music for Disney if I'm not mistaken. Wwx was an engineer for prosthetic parts and he was working with wq. That's all I remember. If you have the time, I would love if you looked for it!

FOUND? High On Information by Latigra (M, 110k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Hurt/Comfort, Amnesia, Established Relationship, Injury Recovery, Family Drama, Set in USA, Shitty US Healthcare System is Good for Fictional Drama, Modern AU, mild body horror, Traumatic Brain Injury, Warnings at End Notes, Past Drug Use, ADHD, Jealousy, Dom/sub Undertones)

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6. Hello! im looking for this wangxian fic that ive been missing for awhile now. I dont remember much but it was modern and everyone was a hitman or assassin (?) all i remember is that people were involved in the killing business. the only scene i remember is that JGS or JGY dies in the bathtub by being shot by LWJ or LXC. Oh thats another thing im pretty sure the way LWJ killed was by clean shots to the head. I know there's smut in it. It frustrates me so much that i cant remember more this was one of the first wangxian fics i remember reading

FOUND! 🧡 modus operandi by synonemous (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, Serial killer WangXian, Eventual happy ending, WangXian's Canon Kinks, Smut) Not everything fits - they are serial killers and jgy dies in a bathtub, but he wasn't shot / I think #6 is modus operandi too! HGJ kills with headshots, but JGY gets taken out by ZWJ, who comes out of retirement just for that one personal hit.

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7. i have been remembering a fic where at the start wwx is engaged to jzx and lwj is engaged to jyl and obviously in the end they switched partners 😂 but idk the title or author, does this ring a bell for anyone? thanks in advance!!!!

FOUND? Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-It, of sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

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8. Hi i’m looking for a fic that I read a while ago but can’t find. Wei wuxian gets sent back in time after his death to the cloud recesses lectures. He ends up in the middle of a lecture and starts crying. He can’t handle it and attempts suicide by jumping off a cliff at cloud recesses but he is found and saved. I think he gets sanctuary or something but i’m not sure. Thank you your page is a life savor!! @st3wartladle​

FOUND? Without end by barisan (M, 70k, wangxian, major character death, time travel, suicide attempt, hurt/comfort, depressed WWX, protective LWJ, good uncle LQR, bad parents JFM & YZY, not YZY & JFM & Jiang friendly, implied/referenced child abuse & self harm, BAMF WWX, WIP) The scene you mention is right in the beginning of the fic.

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9. Looking for a vampire WWX/Hunter LWJ fic, that started with LWJ kneeling for the marriage ceremony and being bit, then the rest after that involved LWJ trying to keep away from WWX for his own good before they both get together. LWJ stays human. I think I found it on AO3? @bcaugust

It's not the right one(though it is one of my favorites and really close to the same vibe.) I also remember that the vampire bite would scar to indicate a spouse, if that helps anyone.

Not FOUND I Think Sunshine Would Treat Me Kind by vassal101 (T, 24k, WangXian, Exorcist LWJ, Vampire WWX, Human/Vampire Relationship, Fantasy, Vampire Bites, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Protective LWJ, Pining LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Pining WWX, POV LWJ, First Kiss, First Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Assassination Plot(s), Undercover Missions, Breaking Up & Making Up, Blood Drinking, Consensual Blood Drinking, horny vampire drinks from equally horny human, Falling In Love, i would say this is more angst than fluff, but it's not too too sad dw, Happy Ending, POV Third Person) reminded me of this one? Doesn't start with a wedding though, lwj simply arrives as a peace offering

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10. Hi!

So I'm looking for a fic that I can't find where I can't remember what exactly happened, but it goes something like this;

Lwj and Wwx are sleeping, Lwj gets a nightmare, and he doesn't tell Wwx about it, but he figures it out anyway and then Wwx waits to see whether Lwj will go back to sleep or have sex. They have rough sex in which Wwx specifically requests that he doesn't want to come. And then they talk (I think it was just outside on a porch or something?) And then Lwj fingers him and gets him off.

I'm sorry I don't remember more, I think it was one chapter and I'm really desperately trying to find this fic. If you could find it it would be much appreciated!!

Thank you!

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11. Heya mods, I'd really appreciate it if you could find this fic. It was about God Lan Wanji and him trying to find fellow god Wei Wuxian after he went missing. LWJ found him with the Dafan Wens and was living happily as a mortal with them. He wondered why WWX wasn't leaving or even thinking about his position as a god, but then it's revealed that his robes (which all gods need) were torn apart by the bad Wens. WWX also gives the robe to a'Yuan iirc. Read it on ao3, might've been a oneshot. @yetusagi

FOUND? Three Worlds, One Life by limedumplr (T, 9k, WangXian, Angels & Demons, Heaven & Hell, fairytale AU, Eternal Love Spinoff, Pining, happy ending I promise, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage)

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12. Hi! I’m looking for a fic where the jiang and wwx test their blood relation (not modern btw). I remember the rumor about sect leader jiang and wwx being father-son are just really just rumors because it shows that they are not related. However, when they test out madam yu and wwx blood, apparently they are related to each other. It turns out CSR’s parent is a sibling of Madam Yu’s parent (I dunno if they are really siblings but I know they a family) making it CSR related to Madam Yu (counsin ig)

Hi! I’m the #12 requester in the recent fic finder. Thank you but unfortunately it is not the one I’m looking for. I think the revelation of the blood related thing happened early chapter because as much as I can remember, madam yu treats wwx better after knowing they are related. She actually treats him as her nephew.

NOT FOUND! All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos (M, 64k, WIP, WRH & WWX, WangXian, WWX is a Wēn, Abuse, Whipping, Manipulations, Warning: WRH, Smart WWX, Possessive Behavior, Warning: JGS, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Rape/Non-con) it turns out in the later chapter that wwx is somehow related tu mdm yu via his grandmother (who was cssr's mother). And said grandmother was a distant cousin or just from yu

Unstoppbble by Immortal WangXian (Mr_Pervert) (M, 47k, wangxian, JC/LXC, JYL/JZX, immortal WWX, immortal LWJ, good parent YZY, good parent JFM, good uncle LQR, good XY, evil JGY, yin & yang cultivation, time travel fix-it, WN lives, MXY lives, WQ lives, supportive NMJ, YLLZ WWX, possessive LWJ, protective LWJ, fluff & smut, crack, action/adventure, mpreg, WIP)

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13. Hello, first I want to thank you for your service! I am looking for a fic where there's a scene where Lan Xichen sets up a dinner date to introduce Lan Wangji to his boyfriend Nie Mingjue. However, Nie Huaisang came to the restaurant because he lost his apartment keys and he was looking for his brother for help. NHS brought his bestie Wei Wuxian with him so LWJ mistook WWX as LXC's boyfriend. @ksoostrauma

FOUND? Man on My Mind by brooklinegirl (E, 50k, WangXian, Modern AU, Sex Cam Worker WWX, Identity Porn)

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14. just wanted to find a specific fic. It is one where wangxian time travel, and everyone is suspicious of them in the sunshot campaign. Jin guangshan suggests using a magic ball to spy on them, but it turns out they just end up combing each other's hair of something intimate but not shameless?

FOUND? lan xichen is very concerned (and confused) by theninjacat (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Sunshot Campaign) I just read it, and the hair brushing spying thing was fresh on my mind and in my AO3 history!

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15. Hi! Please help. I lost some of the fics I was reading, and cannot remember where I first saw them (was using incognito at work, but there was an update and pcs got restarted). It's about the cultivation world punishing ppl, especially Wens, at the BM. During war, they see only Yiling is not attacked, and the guardian, who wears a mask and talks through WQ, accepts to help them if he gets married to a clan heir, as a warranty they won't turn on him. There's a scene where an assasain gets to the camp and is about to kill JYL, but Yllz saves her. Do you know it? @allthoselhb

FOUND? Tumblr post by ShanaStoryteller I think this is 15

15 sounds very familiar but I can't find the fic. If it helps, I think it's the one where YLLZ is walking around with a swirling mask of resentful energy all the time and never speaks, and Wen Qing is his voice. Everyone thinks WWX is dead

For 15, I don't THINK it's these, but have similar elements, so maybe, or at least interesting? I forget the name, but there's one fic where wwx and lz never met before the war, and wwx and the lans insist on an arranged marriage between him and a main clan member after the war (they live on burial mounds, not quite a sect kinda big household vibes) to kinda legitimize themselves to protect their people, thinking anyone sent by the clans to the "evil" yllz must be abused/not valued, so they'd actually be saving someone from a bad situation and into a married in name only respected guest situation. Only they get lz instead. Lxc is very worried for awhile thinking lz must be getting abused meanwhile yllz is a masked but perfect gentleman who proves to be a kind dedicated family leader/lord of the area and lz becomes sympathetic/supportive and ends up falling HARD for him and adores ayuan

there's also another one. Idk about a mask, but in it I think jgs? Tricks both wwx (backed by the bm wens) and the lans into thinking that each other are insisting on some sort of forced political marriage with each other, with the Jin being a "neutral party mediators" when actually the Jin are threatening and pressuring both sides into it/lying. Wwx lz and Co find out when they meet for first time on Jin grounds and unite against the jin.

there's also another fic featuring masks, where the yllz is more spooky unknown who always shows up wearing a full face? Silver mask, with the designs changing every now and then. You later find out that the identity of yllz is being shared between wwx, the wen siblings, and I think mxy? And this is during sunshot campaign after the sects asked for their help (tho they might of also offered it as a strategic move for themselves?)

~*~

16. ive been looking for a fic where for some reason wwx stays with the nie after the ssc. nmj threatens to cut off wwx's tongue if he does demonic cultivation but wwx just depresses his life away instead. jgy blocks letters from everyone so hes really isolated. eventually nhs brings him out of his shell and hes eventually allowed outside his rooms. Later, lxc comes to play clarity/rest, and in the training grounds wwx has a panic attack after being accused of cursing jyl and her second pregnancy whoch he hadnt even known about. Now that i think about it, it probably actually takes place after qiongqi pass.

follow up for the imprisoned in the nie fic, im fairly sure that in the summary, nhs is like "you used to be so confident and happy..."

FOUND! Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, WangXian)

~*~

17. Hi, can you help me find these fics? I've been going crazy! They were on ao3; I hope they haven't been deleted!

A) I think wwx was a ghost, & found himself at the Cloud Recesses in the aftermath of lwj's punishment. Lwj was in bad condition and almost died (a couple of times?) Eventually there was some sort of ritual to bring wwx back into a physical body, & he was in the adjoining room bc he was also very weak. (NB: this is not the fic where wwx is actually astral projecting from Baoshan Sanren's mountain, it's a different one).

B) Lwj stayed at the Burial Mounds, & his health was very poor, he kept getting very sick quite often. At one point there was an epidemic in Yiling; some of the Wens died, and then they went to go help in the town bc of their medical knowledge. Lwj had to stay separate bc of his fragile health; he had to tend the fields alone and he couldn't attend the funerals.

Hi, I messaged recently for help finding 2 fics, so naturally I finally find one of them again not 24 hours later 🙈 The one with Lan Zhan in poor health at the Burial Mounds/the epidemic situation is Over the Rotted Bridge by vailkagami! I can't believe I forgot about the necromancy or Lan Zhan being mute!! I would still love your assistance with finding the other one 🙏🙏 Thank you!

17B)

FOUND! Over the Rotted Bridge by vailkagami (T, 314k, WangXian, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ dies, Wei Wuxian doesn’t die, neither do (most of) the  wens, JYL also lives, Original Character(s), outside pov, YLLZ WWX,  Canon Divergence, CQL Verse, Illustrated, Grief/Mourning, Non-Consensual  Resurrection, mute LWJ, Hurt LWJ, Slow Burn, canonical death of a child  (mentioned), Survivor Guilt, PTSD)

~*~

18. hi!! for the next fic finder, i have been looking for a fic for a few weeks but since it's been some time ive read it, its lost in my history. it was a time travel fic, where wangxian get back into their bodies during the wen indoctrination. the pov was actually jc's if im not mistaken, but i remember clearly that in the end he accuses lwj of seducing wwx into demonic cultivation, after wx kill the wens there and wwx raises an army. thank you <3

FOUND! I’m pretty sure this one is ❤️ Wen Chao’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day by Shializaro (T, 2k, wangxian, time travel, BAMF wangxian, outsider POV, Mojo’s post)

~*~

19. Hello! For the next fic finder, can you help find this fic? It's a sickly WWX because of his live in the street before. I dont remember much but there was a horse riding lesson, he learn about strategy, and when he make a journey alone to make his sword. In his journey he met with imperial soldiers that patroled around capital and befriend them. I think he calmed a resentful mother cat too i think. It's a WIP story. I read that recently in this year but i think it was a fic from around 2019-2020? Thank you @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! A Burning Cold by MountainRose (G, 29k, Chronic Illness, Pre-Canon, Nirvana in Fire Fusion, Character Study, Wen Bullshit, Snow Beetle Poison) is a sort of Nirvana in Fire fusion called A Burning Cold by MountainRose locked to archive here / but it's restricted for logged users;

~*~

20. Looking for a fic where the focus iirc was more on LWJ teaching/raising lan juniors to express their emotions healthily.

Sorry, I don't think it's To be of use, I remember it being something shorter. Also WWX came back towards the later part of it.

not FOUND To be of use by Erisette (Not Rated, 53k, LSZ & LWJ, Found Family, Accidental Baby Acquisition, (kinda), Father-Son Relationship, Missing Scene, Good Teacher LWJ, Seclusion Lite(TM), Fluff, Worldbuilding)

FOUND? Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Not Rated, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian, dad wangji, LWJ’s Questionable Parenting Skills, Grief/Mourning, Recovery, Injury Recovery, Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Violence)

~*~

[hxhhasmysoul]

No wait— 4 14 24 34 44 54 74

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

I don't really have that many ideas for fics, or stories in general, that's why I hardly ever write one shots, especially one shots that aren't crack or tie ins into larger stories.

That being said, I write those my ADHD compels me to. Every so often it floods me with an idea and I start writing it, get halfway done and realise, fuck, this plot is massive and now I have to start tying it all together. And I get slow and depressed because it's not going so well as it used to because my ADHD says: my job is done here, like Tuxedo Mask. And I'm left alone with my regular, very underwhelming brain.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Answered this one here.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

So these asks will expose how little thought I put into stuff XD.

Some stories just have one POV throughout so it's not difficult. In stories that I switch POVs usually the POV is a duh to me. Like I know what I want to show next in the scene and the POV comes built in into that idea. The exception is when I can't find a good angle for a scene. Then I generally just flop desperately like a fish out of water and it's messy and I take days to write those scenes. And sometimes I write like half of them and realise the POV was the issue all along. So I start over with a new POV.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Well all of my mental illness, trauma and anxiety. Gon, Killua and Yuuji get them all in spades. Oh, and Yuuji gets my sexuality. With Gon and Killua I'm more whatever sexuality feels right for the particular fic.

Other then that some bits here and there. I mostly pour my linguistic condition, anthropological interests and aesthetic sensibilities into my fics.

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Anything that isn't our world and differs from our world significantly. Like when I can indulge in world building. It doesn't have to have fantasy or sf elements, like my royalty AU has no magic, but it came up with quite a bit of culture for it, including a language quirk, a political system and religion. And like a web of intrigue and political moves.

54. What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

The numbers below are from AO3, I have some smaller HxH and JJK fics here. But not all are caught by my writing tag, like my JJK crack isn't there, I should probably try to make a masterpost or something. XD

______

Hunter X Hunter - 18

Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck - 13

Canary/Alluka Zoldyck - 4 (I personally created this tag)

Knov/Palm Siberia - 1

Canary (Hunter X Hunter)/Other(s) - 1

Knuckle Bine/Mito Freecs - 1 (I wrote a healthy het pairing once, diversity wins, I created this tag too)

Kikyo/Silva (though this one is on here, not on AO3, I should probably post it there too because it's a tie in to one Killigon fic)

______

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) - 2

Itadori Yuuji/Sukuna | Ryoumen Sukuna

______

魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù - 1

Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn/Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Yes. My two KilluGon fics that are mostly a vibe. I think they have nice world building and good character writing.

Conventional Wisdom

Levels

___________________________

Fanfiction Writing Asks

[w0lfyfl00f]

I wanted to make a pin so here we are! W0lfyFl00f info :3

First off my current fandoms and if I have a blog for them I’ll attach it!

Pokémon

Milgram

My ocs (mostly Pokémon)

The Explorers in Pokémon

Proton from Pokémon

Stardew (housed here)

Ramshackle (housed here)

Omori (if I ever post it it’ll be here)

Lackadaisy (same as omori)

More!

Cut off so it’s not too long but take some art Ive made before the cut

Now a few old fandoms I was in that I posted abt on tumblr

Dsmp (I know TwT) (actually rewriting it as STS feel free to check that out)

Ducktales

Owl house

If you are here for nostalgia for any of those go ahead but people who still support the bad content creators on dsmp (People like Dream, Sapnap, George, Wilbur, HBomb, And anyone I’m missing) Are NOT allowed here

Next up on the to do list is a little information about me

I’m 17 so a minor

I’m autistic and I have ADHD also I’m a system

Also i have IBD but that’s my body being stupid not my brain

My pronouns are He/Paw/Lux/Rawr

And my Preferred names are Hilbert, Timber, Chespin, and Solaris but you can also just call me my user or shorten my user (fun fact my acc is named after my favorite childhood plush named Wolfy)

I’m learning Japanese along with knowing English and Dutch and Spanish then some Portuguese also I wanna learn French eventually given words and languages are a special interest for me (I actually have a Japanese blog if y’all wanna check it out)

I write and draw and my ao3 is one of my favorite pages I have on social media and most popular

I play guitar

I love art fight it’s literally my second favorite time of the year simply to Halloween

I like making personality quizzes on quotev that no one proceeds to ever take TwT

I post more on twitter then Tumblr sadly it’s just easier to doom scroll on and I have more moots

I like creating discord servers often like the fandom server I made for Ramshackle or my server for My Original Pokémon Ship of Wally x Ruby x Gold x Silver or just my Server for Content Creation which is old and disorganized and dead but I do announce when I stream on it

Oh! I also stream on YouTube sometimes often games like Stardew and Omori :3

Also I can code with HTML and my Spacehey was coded by me!

That’s all I really have to say :3

[branmuffins22]

13, 26, 35, 39, 44 from this ask game

Ooo, that's a lotta questions!

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

The short answer? NOT EXACTLY BUT I REALLY REALLY SHOULD

The longer answer?

Technically, I have almost every major plot point written down in some form or another before I write a thing. That said, they usually aren't in any sensible order, and are buried in a mess of a channel in my private discord server, where ALL my brainrot goes.

When I write, I mostly just pick a starting point from one of my notes, and walk it forward from there. I tried properly outlining for one of my fics, and it got me... somewhere, but for the most part, my brain just doesn't work that way. An outline becomes a task list, and I can't stand task lists.

My current system is kinda horrid, but I'd be more worried about someone getting bored sifting through all my scattered notes than getting a headache from them.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

That one's... probably a tossup between a lot of things. Bodily needs, background streamers mentioning something I actually have an opinion on, my mother barging in with shame and deadlines for cyclical tasks (man, I need out of this house), my twin having something funny to show me... basically just ~Life~, lmao.

I guess part of the problem with my current life situation is that I don't have a lot of time that's truly, unequivocally my own, so I get pushed and pulled around by whatever or whoever calls my attention loudest.

...Or maybe that's just the adhd talking.

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

SIGNIFICANTLY.

Now, I've been known to struggle with feelings of situational/emotional permanence, so I could be a little biased by the fact that it's my current biggest hobby, but at this point, around half of my social life happens in fandom/fanfiction circles, which wasn't the case a year or two ago.

Two years ago, I didn't read for fun. Like, full stop. I only started doing that after Thanks to Them released, when the hiatus brainrot got me seeking content and community from more than just the show itself and the friend who got me into it. I think the very first fanfic I read was a oneshot someone cross-posted to tumblr, which somehow convinced me to join both tumblr (technically rejoin tumblr) and Ao3 around the same time. Well. maybe a month or so apart, because of the weird account-creation queue thing Ao3 has goin' on. But still.

I don't think I started to consider writing my own fanfiction until I read A Blight on Bonesborough, by GeminiAlchemist, and got a bunch of ideas from the way they expanded upon the lore and magic system and characters and all that of the Owl House.

From there, it kinda took over my life completely, lmao.

I wanted to write about Luz's experiments with glyphs, and some potential avenues of missed opportunity brought to my attention by The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, by IdeaHunter, and that eventually turned into the Artificer|Overthinker AU (to this day i still haven't picked the name).

Later, I wanted a story about Luz experiencing human high school again after all the dust settled, and after reading a fun fic whose premise was great but whose execution didn't quite scratch the itch (Luz Noceda and the mysterious case of her imaginary girlfriend, by Imkindagayyk), that slowly evolved into Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas (which I actually started writing over a year ago, and still haven't gotten to a postable state with even a single chapter, lmao).

Ever since, I've pretty much been rotating some fic idea or another in my head 24/7.

Nowadays, I wake up and check ao3 for fic updates/new fics, I read while I cook and eat breakfast, I browse tumblr for new stuff from my faves and mutuals, I check ao3 again every few hours, sometimes (but not often) I find the motivation and such to actually write, and I kinda keep up like that all day.

It's maybe a little excessive/obsessive/destructive/etc, but fanfiction kinda defines all the intentional parts of my life right now.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Voice and gimmicks.

The most prominent examples I can think of are the various literary tropes I try to imbue certain characters and such with. I usually write in 3rd-person limited perspective, so the characters' voices influence not just the way I write their dialog, but the way I write entire scenes.

There aren't any good examples of it in either of the fics I've actually posted so far, so you'll kinda just have to trust me on this, but a great example is the way I establish the POV character of a given scene.

It's easier for some characters than others, and I haven't come up with a gimmick for every character yet, but I try to open each scene with a literary trope that emphasizes some aspect of the POV character's voice.

For example, scenes written from Luz's point of view always start with speech, either hers or directed at her. Luz is a rambunctious, chatty, and kinda awkward character, who tends to exert herself on every situation she comes across, so I figure an unconventional (and arguably obnoxious, according to some people) opener works great for her.

Hunter is an outwardly-cocky character with some deep-seated self-worth problems (and a very slanted worldview besides), so his scenes always start with a self-affirmation of some kind, usually followed by a contradiction. Often, he's either intentionally or subconsciously trying to convince himself of something, or to do whatever it is he's about to be doing in the scene.

Vee is a bit of a special case. Like Luz, her scenes start in media res, but she tends to borrow the gimmicks of characters around her. She's a shapeshifter, and learned about life in the outside world as a doppelganger, so she has a tendency for mimicry, intentional or not. She also has a secondary gimmick, one that's a bit more her own, in that narration about her often finds itself filled with alliteration, especially involving the letter S (since she's sort of a snake, and snakes hisssss (and doing it with the letter V was too hard lmao)). It started as a running gag she played on Masha in MatVNN, but then I couldn't stop using it, so it's kinda everywhere now.

Masha is a superstitious (though slightly apathetic) character with a keen eye (and no attention span with which to wield it). They tend to seek out meaning even where there isn't any, and thus often completely miss the broader details in favor of the little things. Their scenes start with an isolated excerpt, usually a tarot reading. In an ideal world, the readings would foreshadow both the events of the scene and at least one of the ways they've misinterpreted them, but unfortunately, I haven't yet actually learned enough tarot to do that. It's a big part of why Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas is taking so long to get to a postable state 😅.

That's pretty much all the opening gimmicks I've worked out so far, but another one I'd like to mention has to do with the way magic is written.

Whenever a spell is cast, I whip out my thesaurus and try to sprinkle in a few words nearby that relate to the kind of spell being cast. For instance, I might say that when Willow casts a wall of vines, she first "plants her feet on the ground", or "stifles her budding anger". Before Luz casts an invisibility spell, she might think about "hiding the cards she was dealt" or maybe "her hands disappear into her pockets". Stuff like that.

The way I imagine it, magic taps straight into the caster's homonculus (broadly, the part of their brain that decides and understands what encompasses "the body") in such a way that the caster becomes part of the spell just as much as the spell becomes part of the caster.

Luz in particular, having the knack for magic that she does, tends to start this process of "becoming the spell" as soon as she decides to cast it, not just at the moment she actually casts it. It's like working yourself into the headspace of a thing, before sitting down and doing it. I've got a whole huge segment in one of my more dramatic fics that's basically an entire page of this kind of thing, with Luz preparing to cast a really big spell (or, well. technically a pair of big spells (TECHNICALLY technicaly it's one normal spell being used to prepare to cast the two massive spells. it's a whole thing)). It honestly might be the highlight of my writing portfolio, which is a huge shame because it's a MASSIVE spoiler.

Anyways, uhhh yeah. I really like gimmicks.

44. Rant about something writing related.

WELL SHITDAMNFUCK, IF ONLY I READ ALL THESE QUESTIONS AHEAD OF TIME! I COULD'VE SPARED SOME OF THOSE PRIOR RANTS FOR HERE!

Well. Guess I aughtta find something else to write about.

How about the ultimate enemy, the scourge of our people, the cornerstone of suffering itself, the dreaded and feared, the great and terrible:

Writer's Block.

It may come as a surprise to the ignorant among us (hehe, amogus), but I, too, suffer from Writer's Block from time to time! In fact, I'm even suffering from it right now! And I have been for the past... oh goodness, over 2 months now.

I had one good day of writing, in all that time, which only came about because I nearly fell asleep in the tub. I somehow daydreamed my way into a really good turn of phrase that I just HAD to put into context for Backlight and Bitrot.

So far, that singular scene, set (the equivalent of) several seasons into the story, remains both the only thing I've written for that fic, and the only thing I've written at all since January.

It's infuriating! I have all these ideas, all these things I WANT to write, all these people I want to share these ideas with, all this time, all this passion, all this brainrot, and yet I Just! Can't! Write!

AUGH!

It would be one thing if I'd simply run out of ideas; I could call this whole thing something pretty like a "dreaming phase" or a "break in order to recharge" or whatever. But I've been dreaming for ages! This break has been in no way relieving! I'm just wallowing in my inability to do the things i love, while the world moves on around me!

You've had an excellent way of phrasing this for yourself, recently: "The executives are on vacation."

It's not some pleasure cruise for me! Those darn jerks (basic brain functions) who dictate every little thing that goes on around here just fucked off to who-knows-where! Completely blind to the consequences (stagnation, suffering, shame) of their absence, and how those affect their employees (me)! I just work here, man! Lemme do my job! I wanna do my job, but I can't if you don't let me! Ugh.

I want to write so goddamn bad. I've got all these projects to write for, all these brainrot spores to spread. I've got so much I want to accomplish, and yet my dumb bitch brain can't seem to get the memo. Work phone is powered off, I suppose.

It's gotten to the point lately that even those random notes to myself have slowed down. I'm having less new ideas than before. I'm picking old ideas out and polishing them less than before.

I'm worried I might end up having to find a way to cater my writing to the dumb mammal part of my brain somehow, in order to bring some momentum back. Write about something crude and easy and filled with every instantly-gratifying fantasy I can imagine.

No more of this 'careful thought' and 'consideration for themes' junk, we want it LOUD and we want it NOW.

Ugh.

Writer's Block is the worst.

What a bummer to end on. Oh well, I'm gettin' kinda sleepy, and I'm out of questions anyways. Thanks for the ask!

[queerofthedagger]

i’ve never understood filtering by hits on ao3. most of my fav fics have less than 5k hits

yeah I mean, hits is just generally THE worst metric on ao3 you could use in my opinion, like. numbers in general aren't a sure-fire way to find fics that you'll like - there are fics on the top-kudos-front page of every fandom that are just not doing it for me at all, and I've read fics with like, 30 kudos that rewired my entire brain chemistry (affectionate).

It's just, hits?? HITS??? like. I want to believe that the reason people use this is maybe a fundamental misunderstanding of how ao3 counts hits (namely: every time someone loads a fic is counted, even if you're logged in, UNLESS no other IP has accessed the work in between. (Almost) every time you reload a tab, (almost) every time you open it on another device, (almost) every time you open it from your tbr just not to read it after all, (almost) every time you read the first paragraph and remember this one wasn't for you.... This also means multi-chaptered fics, for example, will automatically always score higher, fics with shorter but more chapters will score higher, multi-chapters that have been posted chapter by chapter instead of all at once will score a lot higher, etc etc etc). Like, I mean, yes sure a lot of high-kudos or high-bookmark fics do also have high hits but... Just. Use those??

(also also as a side-note that no one asked for, the multi-chapter distortion is one of the reasons why I personally like that you can leave kudos only once, but that's a whole other can of worms)

Again, numbers generally are not a fool-proof way to find fics you'll like, but in my experience kudos and/or bookmark-sorting has at least somewhat of a reliability, whereas hits is just entirely arbitrary tbqh

(obligatory disclaimer: find fics however you like, I'm ultimately not that invested but like, ao3 offers you SO many ways and you're kind of using the least useful one which makes my adhd-brain (the kind that loves organization and filtering systems) cry a little, so yk don't come at me in my own house and all that)

also though last but not least nonnie, "some of my fave fics have less than 5k hits" is... having me crying in the club lmfao. 79 out of my 115 fics have less than 5k hits and while I'm really not the most popular writer I'd say that I get a fairly good response which like. bless your heart, really just goes to show HOW skewed people's perspectives on hits are 💀😂❤️

[pileofpawns]

Intro post!!! Wauuugh! Finally!

I have been meaning to make one these for ages but I've never gotten around to it lmao

Hi there, I'm Plum! I'm 17 years old and my pronouns are she/her (though idc if you use they/them on me either). I'm a disabled aroace cis girl. Nice to meet ya! This is where I tip my brain contents into - Consistency does not exist here! I mostly post about my interests (which can change very rapidly), but also make generally nonsensical shitposts and rarely post art I make.

Misc info about me:

I'm okay with any and all gendered language being used on me. I'm not a guy but you can call me one if it's funny (or even if it’s not funny)

Common speech quirks and things I say and type a lot include "wowzers", "eep", abbreviating "-ing" to "-in", and capitalizing words for emphasis

I LOVE turtles. Can't get enough of em. My favorite species is the three-toed box turtle!

You are always free to mention me on posts or send me asks for literally anything! People nudging me to show me something they think I'd like brings me SO much joy.

Fruity fella who loves (literal) fruit

🐢💕 <- favorite emojis

I am disabled!! (I know I said it at the top) My disabilities include ADHD, dermatillomania, misophonia, mitral valve prolapse, and major depressive disorder. I’m only sharing these because I’m comfortable doing so and I want to talk about them!

I have a habit of calling anyone who I am even slightly acquainted with "bestie". If this makes you uncomfortable please let me know and I will stop!

I make visual art, write, and craft things sometimes! You can check out my stuff under the tags #plums art and #plum writes . I've also been playin the violin for uhhh... 7 years now?

I HATE discourse and I'm a strict inclusionist. This blog is safe for endogenic and mixed origin systems, self-diagnosed folx, folx who use microlabels, and pretty much anyone not trying to cause harm to others. Please keep discourse out of here.

I'm a scalie and also alterhuman in some kinda way!! I don't really label it lol but I am a three-toed box turtle in some capacity.

You can find me on ao3 here

You can find me on YouTube here

And you can find me on Discord under the user pickledplums ! If you shoot me a friend request or DM please let me know who you are first or I will likely not respond.

My blog name is a lyric from the song “Ghostdubster” from the “Super Ghostbusters Deluxe Edition” album by Vargskelethor. Give it a listen, funniest shit I’ve ever heard.

Spam likes/reblogs are okay!! They make me rlly happy :))

Non-definitive list of fandoms I'm in/media I enjoy:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (mostly 2003 and rise but I love all iterations)

Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Usagi Yojimbo

PaRappa the Rapper/UmJammer Lammy

Rhythm Heaven

Samba de Amigo

Magic the Gathering (not really versed in the lore but I do play the game!)

Dungeons & Dragons

Spongebob Squarepants (the main cartoon and the musical)

Kid Cosmic

South Park (I am not very active in the fandom anymore and have not watched the actual show in ages, but I will occasionally like/reblog fanart. I recognize the problems it and it’s creators have.)

userbox credits: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 (bottom two are by me)

Welcome to my silly little blog! I hope you enjoy your stay :}

[blurbry]

Rambles

Rambling Day 1:    AO3 WARNING!!!! LONG POST AHEAD!            FIRST BULLET POINT!: I have a Pseud now. For when I have the feeling or need to write *EHEM* fics. However I Most likely won’t go into too much detail as said things actually make me flushed sometimes.(While I’m Not repulsed or uncomfortable talking about it or writing about it, I just thought I’d touch on the fact that I’m still experimenting with sexuality and am not too sure if I’m actually asexual or not.) A small warning, It may contain oc x character shippings, not just head-cannoned shippings.  I will most likely not post them Publicly as most of them would be physically for me to reread and improve my writing skills, rather than to cause discourse with one who may be Uncomfortably settled with such a subject.  Even if I do Post them Publicly on tumblr, They’ll be tagged Respectively and placed on a Main blog and art blog separate blog. still so the tag can be blocked and ignored. Tumblr added nsfw Content filters for the reasons sole for you to be able to browse your content without being hit in the face with a discomforting subject.   SECOND BULLET POINT!: I’m rewriting all my old fics.  Those of you who followed my AO3, whether you ended up there through lost in dysphoria, or perhaps you were there from my very first fic Broken Glass Shattered Spirits, You’ll notice they’ve all been deleted (except for the ones I’m particularly proud of.) This is because I’m freshly applying a new coat of paint!!  Rather than a baby tiny 1000 word fic, There will be more words, more filler text to make it more interesting. More Development in situations rather than a Rushed feeling of Needing to get this out. While doin so will take me a few months, due to having the most ADHD brain in my family, I assure you when a project has been begun it hasn’t been forgotten, it’s just been pressed aside for a later date. All I ask is Im not rushed or demanded to write faster, because that’s what leads to my sloppy 1000 word writing. Schedule for writings:    Begin Lost Family Au Writing and Master Explanation. Lost Family: An Au I Made which is a Link Separate Au. All the links have tragic Life stories about Siblings or parents or how their lifestyles effect them, Leading up to the events of the Four swords being pulled, and the four meeting each other. IN this AU, the swords are four elemental blades locked deep within Temple systems, that each of the four are called to pull when the time is right.  Begin Raptured Hyrule: Raptured Hyrule is another AU I began working on in 2021 with my friends, and finally decided to publicize in 2022. This AU is if darkness was never fended, and in a way, if Zelda was corrupted by dark cloud rather than killed. It’s very angsty........     Rewrite dancing in the starlight(bluexErune) so its less short and develops more to the relationships. Dancing Scene will still apply.     Rewrite Bluebird(Blue x Vio) Blue at war, Vio is a damsel in distress waiting for him to come home, only having letters and little embroideries and crochet projects to litter the house with.     Rewrite Broken Glass Shattered spirit.(Vidow) Vio is ignoring Shadow for deep studies, Shadow goes off to find something interesting to do and has a run in with a few threatening old friends. Rewrite Angels Flying High, Originally this fic was a RedxShadow Pure angst where Red Died, and Shadow destroyed the mirror a second time just so he could get that final ounce of happiness with him. However, I’m going to change its full aspect and Make it Angel!Red Au. It will still be Shadow x Red. Rewrite Sunsets and Lavender tea (Blue x Shadow) Poor Blue is suffering nightmarish trauma from being frozen alive and Shadow is there to help *cool~* his spirits (I’ll go back in the bad berry corner again) Rewrite Darkness Within: Green/Red Corruptive AU. At a last ditch effort to save the dying light that Red brought to the world, Green performs a dangerous and irrational ritual which results in Red becoming a creature of darkness. At first Red is weary, and its oh so torturous trying to tango with such a creature when He can only come out during the hours that one needs to sleep, but its so worth it when people suddenly become less afraid of Shadow because of Red’s doings. (Look lorulians can be nice people too, don’t fight me ) Rewrite: Everything is okay (Vidow Angst) Vio sustains injuries on the battle field by a mob of Moblins, Blue took his eyes of his back for only a second, only to turn and watch him be run through with a lizzal spear. Blue has a panic attack, He promised Shadow he’d make sure vio came home unharmed.. Vio almost dies, but miraculously was saved by a fairy and a very, Very upset travelling shadow.  These will not be redone in the exact ordering of this post.    

[sio-writes]

Meet the Author: Sio-Writes

Since I've seen so many intros going around, and my own pinned post doesn't have much about me, I thought I'd tell you all a little about myself for anyone who's curious!

I go by Sio here, and my pronouns are they/them. I'm 28 and I live on the East Coast of the US (in just...the worst state out of the 50.) and I've only ever been outside the US on a cruise to the Bahamas, but I want to travel as much as possible when I'm able.

I'm definitely queer, but my personal label tends to, uh, vary? Based on how I feel that day mostly, lol

I started writing in, like, third grade, age 7, and that's even longer than I've been doing art! I rediscovered writing a while back, specifically the monster community on tumblr (back when it was so small) and it's been two years and I keep consistently getting ideas, so... Here we are, lol.

I looove horror movies, especially the artsy ones like Susupira or Raw, but I'm really not picky, even the popcorn flicks like Saw and Hostel scratch an itch in my brain. I'm also a massive fan of Junji Ito and atmospheric horror games like Detention.

I love to read most fiction genres, but fantasy and sci-fi (both hard and soft) are my darlings. I'm currently trying to get through Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes before the movie comes out. I used to read a lot of published romance novels (Last year I gobbled up all 22 Ice Planet Barbarians in like a month) but the options on Kindle Unlimited are, uh, Limited (hah.) So I've turned to tumblr and AO3 for my romantic reading needs. I also have to read for work and school, so a lot of non-fiction like Systems Design, Network Management, Super Hard Space Math, that sort of thing.

Speaking of, I'm currently enrolled in my Master's degree for Aerosoace Engineering! It's been an uphill battle (I tried the online thing and my ADHD brain went 💫 no 💫) But I'm hoping to start in-class again come August.

I work as an assistant systems engineer for a small construction firm, where I spend all day reading architecture plans and deciding where the security cameras and tvs shohld go. I really love it but I have Imposter Syndrome bad so I'm constantly worried they're gonna randomly fire me one day.

Lastly, I like to flit in and out of fandoms, so I have a lot that I like but I'm not neck-deep. They're like Avengers, MDZS, Steven Universe, Utena, Solar Opposites, Naruto, anything Ghibli, OFMD, and a ton more.

And, like, feel free to ask me anything? I love to help others as well as talk about my work, upcoming fics, literally anything. I want to be friends with all of you!

Aaand I think that's it? That's as much as I can talk about myself anyway. Thanks for reading!! ❤️

[sunsetisle]

hello all! i'm sunny, it/its pronouns please! i've put a few things about me and my blog under the cut, if you'd like to read them; otherwise, i thank you for visiting, and i hope you enjoy your stay!

i post a lot of different things here, but the biggest categories are fan content (mostly batman + hermitcraft atm), fandom meta (ao3 + the otw, media production + analysis, etc.), and disability, neurodiversity, and mental illness.

i, myself, am physically disabled and chronically ill. i'm a cane and rollator user, and i rely on my caretakers (my siblings) for a lot of things. i'm autistic and adhd, and i process things differently than a lot of people. i also have psychotic depression, and i may become very paranoid and have warped perceptions of reality sometimes. please be patient with me, i'm trying my best.

i'm a member of a system with did. we dissociate a lot, and have poor internal communication and minimal memory sharing. this, combined with brain fog from our physical illness, means we often don't remember things, and may appear to have erratic behavior and inconsistent opinions. please bear with us.

if you are looking for a way to support me, please consider donating to crips for esims for gaza instead, or find a vetted fundraiser and help someone directly. i can't donate much myself, being a disabled person without income, so i want to try my best to encourage others who can.

finally, i don't have a dni, but i do have a strong sense of morality and sensitivity to unkind treatment of others, and i frequently block people whose beliefs allow for harassment and bigotry. just be nice and don't harass anyone and we'll be fine! :)

[spicler-man]

thanks for the tag!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

75

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

214,434

3. What fandoms do you write for?

oh jeez. we'll stick to just what ive got posted bc otherwise this list will crash my computer. mcu, obviously, but there's also stranger things, gravity falls, danny phantom, miraculous ladybug, random kids movie called the little vampire that i got obsessed with, atla, my old mcyt fics, mia and me, phineas and ferb, my old sanders sides fics, stardew valley, exactly 1 undertale fic, and mha. i refuse to make pseuds or new profiles if you subscribe to me you WILL see all my works.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i think they're all irondad? nobody knows like a waterfall System Error: Reboot i’ll always come back mr. dad❤️🔧 yep. all irondad

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! but i have bad adhd and completely forget most of the time. trust me, i see it and i love it and then i forget to answer it

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably The Phantom Menace just because it's short and there's no closure. one of my earliest irondad works, if not my earliest

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

good question!! most of mine are pretty happy or at least hopeful, i'd say mr. dad❤️🔧 just because there's little to no angst throughout the entire thing

8. Do you get hate on fics?

yep! as previously mentioned, i have horrid adhd, so sometimes ill get stuck in a little echo chamber of my own brain, and ideas that make sense in my head, with all the surrounding details i've come up with, the full thing won't make it into the story so it makes little to no sense.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i've never written a smut fic, i tried my hand at writing smut (with ocs) when i turned 18 just to see if i could. however i sincerely doubt it'll exit the specially made password-locked document i made for it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i don't, not really, so i guess i'll have to say my pnf and irondad crossover, which is less crazy when you remember phineas and ferb already did that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope! no one wants 'em

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

also no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've been a supportive cheerleader on the sidelines for a couple of my friends fics, as well as an idea generator that they've been like "ooh thats good i want to use that" but never a co-writer

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

i might have to go with my stupid little elf polycule from mia and me. its my all time favorite because if i don't love them, who else will?? and i can never get tired of content from them bc there is none.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh god. ive never finished a multichapter. did you all know that about me?? i've never made it all the way through. the final chapter of silent spidey has been complete since november 2022. but i haven't made it there yet. and now i doubt i ever will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue. i like to think ive got a good handle on dialogue. also spelling and grammar are fun for me so none of those pesky little errors

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

my willingness to sacrifice important plot points for a joke i found marginally funny. looking at you, stranger things wips.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

depends!! i'm bilingual, so if it's a language i've got a handle on then yeah, why not? if i gotta translate it, i'll probably include the translation in there somewhere with an html code

19. First fandom you wrote for?

miraculous ladybug, back on wattpad. if you find my old unfinished fic on wattpad with no clues from me ill give you five bucks

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

i really like to be a bit of warmth for you. it was fun to write and i can still reread it without cringing so i count that as a win!

no pressure tags: @creative-girl @multifandomforthemostpart @call-me-coley @ironfidus

(under the read more is the blank questions for everyone)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

oh jeez. mcu, obviously, but there's also

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank's for the tag @waitingondaisies

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

- 180

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

- 1,701,826 (Holy Crap!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

- All of my fics are MCU, predominantly Irondad but there are a few Spiceychell fics mixed in there too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

- A Parent Apparent (528,718 words, 7,349 kudos) A really freaking long slow burn Irondad co-parenting with May fic.

- So Many Things to Say (82,998 words, 3,914 kudos) A electivly mute, foster child Peter fic. This is the first part of an extended series.

- What I Really Need is You (18,520 words, 3,581 kudos) A fluffy 5+1 of Peter needing things from Tony.

- Distracted by a Dime (56,169 words, 2,476 kudos) A homeless Peter AU- Stony AU. This is the first part of a series.

- Suspended (3,607 words, 2,177 kudos) A One-shot about Pter getting suspended and Tony picking him up from school.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try really hard to reply to every comment!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angsty endings... So Maybe this one? Breathe, Kid (You're Not Alone) (4,086 words) Ned Dies and Peter feels responsible. Tony is there to help him pick up the pieces. The ending is hopeful and comforting- but there is no instant fix.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh geez. You want me to pick one??? Uh... Let's go with this one because it has some sweet Christmassy vibes. Secret Sugarplum Spiderling (27,923 words) Peter is a ballet dancer and he doesn't want Tony to know- yet. Lots of super sweet fluff.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes. Usually, it's someone who has decided that my fictional story filled with fictional characters who have fictional superpowers isn't 'realistic enough.'

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written exactly ONE smut fic- but it has NEVER been posted. 😘

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

One- by request. It was a mini-fic about Pokemon trainer Peter and Pokemon Professor Tony. Rotom Roundup (979 words)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. My art, despite emailing them several times, is still up on a 'coloring sheets' website though. Which mostly annoys me because what they nagged was a draft. I would have happily sent them the clean line art.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I had someone offer once and gave full permission but I don't htink it ever happened.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I have co-written a few fics. And I have one in the works with @waitingondaisies

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Most of my fics are platonic relationships. But I often have background relationships in them; usually Stony or Pepperony. Some spideycelle and once, Ned/Peter.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I eventually finish all of them! But there is one I found that I am not even sure where it was going. All I have written is 800 words of Kraven the Hunter confronting Peter.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I am pretty good at dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am still learning a lot about POV depth, visceral details, and deep introspection.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't use it much, if at all. But it doesn't bother me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Irondad

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh! It's a tie!! So Many Things to Say will always me towards the top of my favorites lit. But my newest fic, The Hoax, is starting to creep into 'favorite fic of all time' territory.

I am going to tag (If they are interested) @spicler-manie @cajun-fangirl @asyouleft @thwip--thwip @justme--emily and @kubabergen

[not-poignant]

Hi! Sorry if you have been asked this before, but I wanted to know if Patreon is very useful for posting serialized writing (the way you use it)? And, is there any chance you have tips or could point me to somewhere that does, on how exactly to use Patreon for this? Thank you!

Hi anon,

Okay, so first I want to break some stuff down, I know you've said 'the way I use it' but no one is stupid enough to do Patreon the way I use it, so I want to explain the difference:

I actually don't post my serialised fiction on Patreon! It's all on AO3. So I may not be the right person to ask, because I don't actually like using Patreon to host serials (I like Patreon for some things, but I don't actually find it super user-friendly for commenting, and I've noticed that most of my readers prefer to comment on AO3, here, or on Twitter and other sites before they use Patreon - even when they're subscribed).

You might want to check out Facebook groups like Subscriptions for Authors, which has a lot more folks who are actually hosting their serials on Patreon!

As for why I'm not the best person to ask about this: It's not smart to host original fiction on AO3 while running a Patreon, because advertising Patreon or Ko-Fi on AO3 is against its Terms of Service/TOS for very good reasons, which means I can never advertise my Patreon directly to my audience. It's the biggest business no-no of all time.

The second business no-no that I do all of all time is that I put my serials up for free, so no one actually has to pay for them at all!

Serial authors do not use Patreon like I do. I ended up doing it this way for a big combination of reasons (which I've talked about before), but I would never recommend it to anyone else who wants to make money. People tend to like to pay things that they can't get for free already, and audiences grow when you can advertise to them. These are two things I'm not doing. I can't point you to anyone else who is doing this, because idk anyone with as little business sense as me.

Now, outside of that, authors can be very successful using Patreon for serials! Serial writing is actually huge on Patreon. But I am the wrong person to ask about that because a) I am not very successful by serial author standards (esp serial authors who write as much as I do) and b) those folks are usually not hosting on AO3, and are paywalling all of their works except for a few: in other words, people are paying for the privilege of reading something they'd have no way of accessing otherwise. Which is the same with novels and books.

I'm sorry anon, if you want to be a successful serial author, then literally don't listen to me, I'm actually probably the worst person to ask for re: advice. It's a miracle I'm doing as well as I am, but it's not a business strategy, and I couldn't in all good conscience recommend this path to anyone else. Please check out some of the Facebook groups instead. There are authors out there making 6 figure salaries off Patreon serials and I am not one of them.

[from-saturn-to-mars]

Coffee and ADHD do not mix, actually

by from-saturn-to-mars on ao3

Tony lives purely off coffee, Peter hyperfixates on spiders, and they eat Oreos at a Very Late Hour Of The Night while having a semi-serious discussion about ADHD

Tony Stark does not always make good life choices. 

He considers this as he downs his fifth cup of coffee in the last hour and double checks the equation on yet another project. In his defense, he just came up with a new plan for solar-powered generators.

Tony pauses, checks the time, notices the date, and then revises his previous statement. 

In his defense, he came up with a plan for a solar-powered generator seventy two hours ago  and hasn’t looked up from his work since. 

He’s helping people! Yup, that's a solid argument, he thinks to himself as he sways on his feet and almost pours oil into his coffee cup. He reaches for the coffee pot, but it’s empty.

“Friday, dearest, could you refill the coffee?” He requests without pausing in his work. He could have sworn he just had something in his hand. Where was it..?

“I'm afraid you're out, sir. There’s more in the kitchen.” 

Tony finds the thing that was in his hands. Its buried under a pile of paper he hasn’t touched in weeks

 Tony weighs his options, looks at the empty coffee pot,  and trudges out of the lab with a sigh of defeat. The halls are eerily quiet compared to the whirring and humming of machines in his lab. The sudden shift from blinding lights to cool darkness sends black spots dancing in front of his eyes. 

Tony pads into the kitchen and zeroes in on the coffee sitting on the counter. He feels like a lion hunting in one of those nature documentaries and has the wild urge to narrate in a British accent. 

“M’sr Stark?”

Tony spins around, almost loses his balance, and looks wildly around the room for the source of the voice. His eyes land on a small, hoodie-clad figure seated on the kitchen counter.  

“Peter?”  

The boy gives a little wave in response and continues to stare at him.

 “Why are you awake?” Tony asks in a high-pitched voice. 

Peter gestures to the towering stack of textbooks next to him with a slightly manic look in his eyes,“I’m researching spiders! Did you know spider's blood is called hemolymph? And spiders have an open circulatory system!”

“And… How long have you been researching spiders, exactly?” 

Peter thinks for a minute and pulls out his phone. He stares at the cracked screen for a solid thirty seconds and then looks back at Tony with a vaguely horrified look on his face. 

“...Six hours?” 

Tony facepalms, “Jesus, kid,” 

“Says the man who's been holed up in his lab for three days,” Peter shoots back with a smug smirk. Tony distantly wonders when Peter stopped idolizing him and started being such a little shit.

“I was working, it's not my fault,” Tony pouts and pours himself another cup of coffee.

Peter heaves a huge sigh and shuts his textbook, “I like science! And spiders! It's not my fault I hyperfixated,” He says with a small yawn, “ADHD is annoying,” 

Tony squints at him. 

“What?” 

“What's ‘hyperfixation’?” He asks the boy. His brain feels like it's underwater. He takes a sip of his coffee. 

Peter looks slightly surprised, “It’s where your brain fixates on something and kind of takes over your mind, I guess? Like its all you can think about. I hyperfixate on science a lot and, right now, spiders. My brain kinda just zeroed in on that one topic and then I couldn't think about anything else, and then I looked up and six hours had passed.” 

Tony processes this, “Huh….” He looks back on the days and weeks he’s spent in his lab, completely engrossed in his work. He then reviews the last three days in his head. Was that hyperfixating? Maybe he shouldn't be thinking about this right now. If he remembers correctly, the sleep-deprivation hallucinations start right about now, so he could very well be hallucinating the spider-child sitting on his counter. 

“It’s pretty common among people with ADHD and other neurodiverse people,” Peter informs him. 

“Where did you learn all of this?” 

Peter shrugs, “I just did some research, once I got diagnosed with ADHD.” 

Tony considers. He’s never been diagnosed with anything – Howard and Maria were not the ‘therapy’ type, and he never really saw the need for it, but maybe he should do some research….He loses his train of thought and takes another draw from his coffee.

“Dude, at this point your blood is like ninety percent caffeine,” Peter remarks. He hops down from the counter and opens the cupboard, surveying the contents with narrowed eyes. Tony peers over his shoulder, only now registering that he also hasn't eaten in a while. He half-remembers someone bringing him a cold pizza roughly two days ago. He hasn't eaten since. Peter grabs a pack of Oreos and pulls out a handful, stuffing them into his mouth all at once. 

“So, what are some other ADHD things?” Tony asks him.  He carefully pries one half of the cookie off and chews it slowly. 

Peter swallows his mouthful of Oreo, “Well ADHD is short for ‘Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.  That basically means you have a short attention span and you're hyper active, but there's a lot more to it than that, and it's different for everyone. I use fidget spinners for hyperactivity and for stimming,” He elaborates at Tony’s confused look, “Stimming is doing repetitive things to stimulate your mind, like flapping your hands or rocking back and forth or things like that,”

Hmm. That sounds familiar. Howard always used to tell him off for running around in circles in the kitchen. He remembers doing it over and over, unable to stop. He never had a problem with it, and he had forgotten about it until now, but Howard always yelled at him for not ‘acting normal’.

Tony stuffs an Oreo in his mouth and chews thoughtfully. After a long silence, he says, “Cool”

He prides himself on his eloquent vocabulary. 

Peter nods and shifts himself into a laying-down position, so hs looking at Tony upside down. Tony has no idea how the child hasn't choked on his Oreos yet.

“Do you think you have ADHD too?” Peter asks him around a mouthful of frosting. He's taken out all the insides and is left with a pile of chocolate cookies. 

‘Barbaric…’ Tony mutters, but he answers Peter’s question seriously, “Maybe? I'll have to do some more research, but i wouldn't rule it out–  What are you doing?” He cuts himself off. 

Peter freezes, about to dump the chocolate cookes into the trash, “They’re too dry, i just like the frosting part,” 

Tony stares at him in black shock for a minute. 

“Okay, we can fix this.” He pulls out two Mason jars and gestures for the cookies while he pulls a few intact ones out of the wrapping.

“Get milk,” He orders. 

Peter regards him skeptically but retrieves the milk as ordered. Tony shows him how to crumble up the Oreos with a spoon and mix the milk in. 

The look on Peter’s face when he takes a bite is absolutely priceless. 

“This is so good,” He marvels. Tony nods in satisfaction. Once Peter finishes ating, he taps him on the nose with his spoon. 

“It’s time for spider-kids to go to bed now. You have to eat a real meal in the morning, too. Not just hot cheetos and lemonade like yesterday.”

Peter grins at him, hops off the counter, and racs down the hall. 

Tony goes to sleep.