#and multiple people have commented how me and my boy look similar

[gloomwalking]

i like the way i look probably a somewhat unhealthy amount like i’m kind of obsessed w myself but it’s probably still better than the alternative i suppose! i love being brunette i love having dark brown eyes and thick lashes they’re so striking ...

[nicksolemnlyswears]

hi! i just saw the ask you answered about leaving aemond out and i giggled.

if i may offer an idea, what about if reader finds out where aemond goes to find comfort (the brothel) and is upset because she thought differently of him but maybe he confesses what he actually does there (tittie suckin and therapy) and she offers aemond her own comfort. maybe reader looks more like their mother and it's exactly what aemond wants/needs. he's such a broken boy with horrible mommy issues.

this is not me at all telling you that you NEED to write a fic about this. i just had this idea jumbled around in my head and i don't know how to write it myself. 😂

thank you for your fics. they are truly wonderful. 💜

pairing: aemond targaryen x hightower!reader

word count: ~8.3k

warnings: 18+, cursing, spoilers of s2 of hotd, talks about brothels and prostitutes, fingering, p in v, lactation (milk play? i don't even know what i did), nipple play, slight mommy kink (or a lot depending how you see it), talks of infidelity, slight somno, riding

a/n: it's funny that this ask was sent cause i had something similar in mind. so this came super easily to me. i added some fire to the reader cause after ep 4 of hotd i was so angry at aemond (and still am). i can't believe he did that to aegon (he's my boy of the season) not to mention what he did to queen meleys and queen rhaenys. i'm not sure if i'd be able to forgive him. @heybank i hope this is somewhat like what you had in mind!

it came out a little longer than expect but nonetheless i hope you all enjoy! also aemond is stubborn in this fic but an equally stubborn reader and i love her for it. the reader and aegon are lowkey besties because i only want the best for him lol so don't mind that. i am ecstatic for the next episode and see the fall out of ep 4.

do you know the struggle i had to find aemond's whore's name. omg most difficult part of this oneshot.

after this fic i think i need to go to church and confess. i'm sure the priest will douse me in holy water and make me pray a hundred holy marys or something.

enjoy!!

It slipped out in the midst of their endless teasing and banter. The one secret Aemond never wished for you to find out. You're strong enough to know about the others; you recognize who he truly is at his core: an ambitious, envious man, but this one secret? This one he prayed you never knew about.

Aegon and you had been indulging in the sweet wine imported from High Garden. A delicacy that made your head fuzzy and your body loose. After finding you strolling all alone through the gardens, he insisted on drinking with you. If someone were to appease him by complaining about matters of the council, it would be you.

Those meetings drag on for hours on end on multiple occasions during the day as ravens fly in to share news of the brewing war. It robs you of your husband's attention and robs Aegon of his will to live as they tell him what to do and say, completely ignoring any input he might have—as idiotic as it may be.

You meet your distant cousin midway, complaining about how boring the meetings are and how uptight everyone is, including your husband. You offer the new King honest advice disguised as flippant comments, hoping he'll accept it even if he thinks of it as his own.

"It's not like I'm the only one who indulges in the pleasure of the street of silk. Every nobleman loves to get their cock wet by those whores," Aegon mumbles as a response to being reprimanded for his escapade late last night with his guards.

The charitable King paid for the villager's drinks and entertainment for the night. It was a prosperous night for the brothel. The 'ladies' will do just about anything to get coin. Who says the King doesn't aid his subordinates in need?

You stifle a laugh with the back of your hand and shake your head at him, "Yes, but you're the King now. It's not about laying with a commoner. It's about security. There are people who would do just about anything to gain Rhaenyra's favor, including hurting you, Aegon…"

Reasoning with Aegon is a challenge. His mind spins in ways you will never comprehend, but you try to keep your cousin safe while appeasing the council.

If Aegon values something, it's his life. If he knows there is danger out there, he will hold back, even if it's for a night or two. Her duty as his friend is to keep reminding him of all the danger lurking in the dark corners of the silk street.

"I suppose you're right, dear cousin. Guess we'll have to bring them here," he laughs as he thinks of the pandemonium it will cause. "I'll have Thalia and Margery or perhaps Dorothy. Hell, why limit myself? I'm the King! The guards can have their pick of the lot, Aemond will have his old reliable, and Lord Lannister can have the beautiful Sarah."

Aegon tips his goblet, drinking the last drops of wine to quench his dry mouth, failing to notice his slip-up.

Aemond's name sends a burning chill down your spine, and your mouth turns to cotton as it dries up. As you repeat Aegon's words, your heart promises to break out of your ribcage. Surely, you misunderstood his words.

"Aemond's old reliable?" You laugh to keep Aegon at ease. Grabbing the pitcher of wine to fill both of your cups, urging him to drink more and get his tongue looser. He won't remember your interrogation by morning.

"Ah yes, the first woman he fucked. Thanks to me, might I add. He still loves to visit her. I'd say her tits got him all enamored."

Just like the women in court, Aegon prattles on and on about everything he knows about Aemond and his whore. Including how he found him laying with her just last night—naked as the day he was born, blue sapphire glinting freely under the candlelight.

Blinding hot fury courses through your veins, lighting you up in flames from the inside out. Aegon will assume your reddening face and chest are from the wine and his vulgar words. There is no use in correcting him as you urge him to continue talking.

By night's end, you are equally as drunk as Aegon. The Guards escort you both to your respective chambers, watching amusedly how you argue with Aegon about whose dragon is strongest, Sunfyre or Dreamfyre. In reality, you were plotting which sibling would aid you in yelling dracarys in Aemond's direction.

You wish the alcohol would make you forget, but the sad truth is you will remember every single detail. The pounding headache you'll have in the morning will be a painful reminder of the secrets spilled over red wine.

For a fortnight, you sit and think about the valuable information Aegon shared with you. Anger burns ardently inside of you as it has nowhere to go. As a lady of the court, you're not allowed to train with the men, and as a Hightower, you have no dragon to channel that anger through.

If your fury were to be caused by any other reason, you'd find release in Aemond's arms. His aching cock stroking your drenched walls fervently. His sweaty skin sticking to yours. His fingers digging into your curves to find purchase. The low tone of his voice in your ear whispering words you'd never dare repeat and shamefully make you peak around him.

The thought makes you sick. How many times has he fucked her in such a way? Is it different? Does he let go and fuck her harder as he's not afraid she'll break?

Thinking is your worst enemy. As you imagine every possible scenario, your insecurities rise from their hiding spots. Does he love her? He laid bare with her; he must feel something if he allowed her to see him in such a vulnerable position.

The memory of the first time he took off his eyepatch in your presence pains you. So many conversations and stones of trust had to be set to get to that point, yet he did it with her. A common whore that dares ask for coin to please him with her presence.

You are different from the other ladies of the court who accept their husbands sleeping around with unknown women. You are jealous and territorial, something Aemond knew when you married. Under the eyes of the seven, he swore that his loyalties lay solely with you.

Alas, all men do is lie. Not even the noblest of men can be trusted. All you asked for was a good husband that would not embarrass you. How foolish of you to believe Aemond would be it.

Your fury grows and manifests as you observe Aemond and his whereabouts. It's hard to keep your anger at bay, but he's too busy plotting with Criston Cole to notice your withdrawing nature and emotional distance.

Visiting his quarters nearly every night tells you all you need to know. In that fortnight, you find him missing a multitude of times. There's no doubt he's in the brothel. Where else might he be deep into the night as the world sleeps?

When you ask about his location, the guards hesitate and stumble over their words. They try to save their necks by lying because the Prince continues to slip from their grasp time and time again. They are not as skillful at lying as your husband.

Having had enough, you wait for Aemond's return in his quarters. A goblet of wine is balanced between your fingers. The red liquid swirls along the rounded goblet, mimicking how your anger swirls around you.

You observe the map laid out on the wooden table. His plans are incredibly different from Aegon's. You pity the King as his most trusted advisor and Hand do as they please behind his back.

You've barely drank the wine. The goblet is merely a distraction from your fidgeting hands. You do not need the courage it provides; your anger fuels your intentions.

Old stone rumbles and sets behind you. Turning on your seat, you find Aemond emerging from one of Maegor's tunnels. This is how he sneaks out so damn easily.

"Wife," Aemond greets, keeping his composure, but his tense posture reveals shock. Your husband tends to wear a relaxed stance in your presence. You're the last person he expected to be waiting for him.

"Husband," you reply. The word is bitter on your tongue.

"What brings you in so late? You should be resting," Aemond speaks, taking off his cloak and approaching your seated figure.

Your eyes lazily move up to meet his. "Rest," you chuckle humorlessly. "I haven't been able to find rest in weeks."

"Does something ail you? Should I call a maester?" He asks, giving you a once over. Other than the dark circles around your eyes, there seems to be nothing out of place.

You're still you. Beautiful copper hair that easily identifies you as a Hightower flows down your back, and big brown eyes that resemble his mother's look back at him, although contempt has replaced the unconditional adoration that typically resides there.

His worry sickens you. His existence is an annoyance like a pebble in your shoe. You've harbored this anger for too long, and simple distaste can quickly transform into hate.

"Where were you?" You ask, raising an eyebrow. He's not going to get out of this. He must face the consequences of his actions. You will not live in bitterness while he runs around doing as he pleases.

"Conducting some business for the King." Aemond tilts his head, observing your posture and the set of your eyebrows. There's an electricity around you that shoots warning signs at him.

"Where. Were. You?"

"I'm afraid it is none of your business," Aemond says with a sharp exhale. He steps away to avoid your glaring gaze, unbuckling his sheath and setting it on one of the many desks that litter his room.

"I didn't realize we were keeping secrets from each other." The goblet's thud on the table is as loud as your unspoken fury. Wine splashes on the map like blood will spill in battle.

"There are always secrets. I have them. You have them," Aemond answers, leaning back on the desk.

Your hands smooth down the fabric of your dress as you stand. Finding his calculating gaze, you say, "So that's what you call your whore over at the silk street? A secret? I thought her name was Sylvi?"

Aemond freezes, and his muscles tense. You can't possibly know. He's entirely still as if the action would stop time and give him a chance to come up with an explanation, a lie. "I do not know what you speak of," the hesitancy of his voice unveils the cruel truth.

"Spare me the lies, and do not treat me like a naive maiden, Aemond. You know how much I loathe being made a fool," you snap loudly.

Aemond takes three long strides to reach you. Reacting, you take a step back but have nowhere to go. He doesn't touch you, but Aemond towers over you as he glares back. "Who told you? Was it Aegon?" He hisses.

"Please," you scoff. "The maids talk, the guards talk, husband. It was only a matter of time. Did you think I'd never find out? Are you truly that dense, Aemond?"

Your glare is sharp enough to cut him. He fell in love with that look when directed at others, but now that it's looking straight at him, he finds it's the one thing he might hate most.

All people around him have looked at him like that at some point. Aegon. Daemon. Jacaerys. Alicent. All except for his sweet sister and you, his beloved wife.

That look alone makes him regret stepping into the brothel many moons ago.

You should've never found out about Sylvi. It was meant to be a fleeting moment, but the war takes a toll on everyone, including Aemond.

Alicent's disapproving attitude towards him after Lucerys' incident led him to the whore more times than he can count as he sought the comfort Alicent never gave him and he craved.

"What is it that whore gives you that I do not?" You maintain eye contact as your chest presses against his. Your stubbornness will not let you back away from this argument. You deserve an answer.

You thought you were a good wife. Because of you, Aemond has two sons. You provided male heirs, a nobleman's dream. You warmed his bed whenever he asked and even when he didn't. You confided in him. You chose him.

"Talk, damn it. Your scheming plans won't get you out of this one," you yell, slamming your fists on his chest. Picking a fight is the only thing you have left. You want to scream at him until your voice turns raw.

"There is nothing to say. She's a quick fuck; that's all she is," Aemond seamlessly lies, grabbing your thundering fists. His thumb rubs over the back of your hands, hoping the calming gesture will tame your anger.

"A quick fuck? I could've been queen if I tolerated Aegon's quick fucks. The option was right there, and I chose you because I stupidly believed you'd make a better husband," you scream as your cheeks turn an unbelievable shade of red.

"Wife, please," Aemond pleads as you remind him.

The choice to wed you was not his to make. It was entirely yours. Each night, he prayed you'd choose to marry him. A woman of incredible smarts and hypnotizing beauty deserved to be with a man who acknowledged those attributes, not a blundering man like Aegon, who would only use her for her body.

"Do not touch me," you spit, tearing your wrists from his grasp and pushing him back with all the muster you could gather. "How dare you try to touch me after you've laid with her? After you fucked her? You repulse me."

Tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you spew your words. Aemond stands there, taking it all of your fury—he deserves it. What you hate the most is that he does nothing to defend himself, as if all of your words are the maddening truth.

"It was not my intention to hurt you," Aemond swallows as tears fall down your cheeks.

"These tears do not stem from hurt. They are from humiliation. You embarrassed me, Aemond. Do you know how many hours I've spent praising you in front of the other ladies of the court, speaking about how perfect of a husband you've been these past two years?"

Your pride might be bigger than his, and he's done the worst thing he could ever do— wound it. Such a prideful woman will only forgive him if there's a good enough reason and with lots of begging.

At his silence, you push past him and reach for the door. "I've made my duty as your wife and given you two sons. Do not expect more from me. Go to your little whore and see if she'll perform the wifely duties you asked from me." With one more glance towards your husband, you slam the door.

It is no mystery why Aemond is in a mood from that night forward. Guards stand straighter with him around, Aegon's so-called friends keep quiet, and Criston Cole bears the brunt of it all as Aemond calls him to spar. Each passing day becomes more brutal.

You have stayed true to your word and kept your distance from Aemond. You've never felt as far away from him as when you sit by him during meals. You no longer place your hand on his thigh when Aegon throws jabs at him or smile his way when he says something worth admiring.

If you must address him regarding the children, you do so but with a straight face and without awaiting his answer. The Red Keep has turned grey as you no longer pull him through the halls between duties to find a dark corner to kiss or touch him. Fleeting moments he truly cherished.

He's losing you, and he doesn't know what to do to fix it. He's sure that you will never look at him the same if he comes clean with the truth. It will burn whatever thread is left of your marriage.

"Aemond, what's the matter?" Alicent asks. They're in her quarters discussing one of the many plans to prepare for war, and yet he's not paying attention.

"Nothing," he says softly, eyeing the map in front of him. We should send our men to the east."

Alicent tilts her head and sits across from him, studying him closely. "Is this about your wife?"

The glint the young Hightower carries is missing. Her constant search for Aemond throughout the day has ceased abruptly, startling Alicent and Helaena. She rarely mentions him, only speaking about him when asked, and even then, her words have bite.

Alicen believed her son could do no wrong regarding his wife. Aemond adored you. He pinned after you from the moment it was announced that you were searching for a husband.

Alicent was hesitant at first. Marrying inside the family was a queer Targaryen custom, not a Hightower one, yet Otto insisted. Another Hightower in the Red Keep meant more power. He pushed you to marry Aegon while Aemond asked Alicent to consider him instead. She left it in your hands. It was only fair that you made the choice of who you shared your life with.

Aemond is silent momentarily, "She's upset with me." His words are short as he avoids talking about the subject.

"What did you do?" Alicent sighs disappointedly, leaning back on her chair. Why must her sons ruin all good things in their lives?

Alicent's reaction causes him to close back up just as quickly. Yes, it is his fault, but his mother's lack of faith is disheartening. Once upon a time, Aemond would've confided in his mother, but recent events have severed that trust. "My marital problems are none of your concern."

"Then how am I to help you fix this?" She asks in a knowing tone. Alicent feels the weight of her house on her shoulders. She's responsible for keeping everything together.

"I don't recall asking for your help, mother." Aemond ignores her judging eyes, moving the metal pieces around the map. He was here to make war plans, not talk about his feelings.

"Very well," Alicent clears her throat, moving farther away from her son. The gods are punishing as each one of her children drift away from her.

Unlike Aemond's mother, you take your duty as a mother quite seriously. Your children are all you have, and you cherish them equally. You refused a wet nurse when you birthed your first, and when the second followed a year after, you proceeded to do the same.

Feeding them from your breast brings a wave of emotion that is impossible to describe. The bond that forms between mother and child is strengthened by this natural action. Why do the other ladies in court not do the same? All they do is gossip and indulge in the luxuries of the keep. They have no responsibilities other than to please their husbands and care for their children.

The loud cries of your youngest filter through the door and echo throughout the halls of the keep. The babe has been incessantly crying for the past hour for no reason. Feeding and changing his nappy did nothing to ease his discomfort, leaving you overwhelmed. Nonetheless, you continue to soothe your child because if you didn't, what kind of mother would you be?

You ignore Aemond as he steps into your chambers, bouncing the eleven-month-old in your arms. He must've followed the cries. "There, there, Baelor," you coo, placing your hand on the back of his head, brushing through the thin strands of pale silver hair.

The babe continues to sniffle and release weak cries. The poor thing is exhausted yet refuses to sleep. He hangs onto his mother's dress and hair, opening and closing his chubby fist.

Aemond approaches you, extending his hands to take him from you, "May I?"

You cannot refuse him. Baelor is his son, and while he seeks the pleasure of common whores you know he adores his sons.

Baelor is fuzzy and complains when he's taken away from your warm embrace, but he immediately settles in his father's hold when he recognizes him. The smell of Aemond's leather clothes offered him the comfort he was searching for.

Baelor missed his father.

"Clearly, you're his favorite," you murmur, settling down in the chaise that faces the fireplace. You're worse for wear. It's hard to find rest when questions remain unanswered, and you've lost the person you love most.

"Only till it's time to feed," Aemond says to lighten the mood between you.

You scoff, removing your jewelry and tossing it on the cushion beside you. "Great, I'm a glorified cow, only used to feed."

Aemond falters, his hold on his son tightening as he curls closer into Aemond's neck. Baelor's soft breaths tickle his neck. "That's not what I meant, wife."

You continue to stare into the fire as tears line your eyes. "I know," you whisper. It's been a difficult day.

Had you not been betrayed by Aemond, you would've sought his attention and spilled all the thoughts running through your mind so he could tell you you were being unreasonable.

He would reassure you that you're intelligent, beautiful, a wonderful mother, cunning, captivating, and a dream come to life.

You're punishing yourself. You decided to distance yourself, and came to the horrid realization that it is much harder than you bargained. You underestimated what three years of always being together would do to you.

Aemond catches on to your apprehension and puts a sleeping Baelor on the cradle the nursemaid left by your bed. He returns to your side and kneels on the floor right by your feet.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes for the first time since that night. It's been a long, difficult four weeks without you by his side. He misses all the little things you did for him.

All the check-ups throughout the day to make sure he's broken fast or slept well. Brushing his hair at night before he takes you to bed and shows you his gratitude. Your eyes meeting his across the room, suggesting he takes you elsewhere for a stolen private moment away from everyone else.

He misses you telling him about everything Baelor and Rhaegar got up to in the day and about every new milestone they hit, suggesting they are as healthy as they can be. He misses the late nights spent tangled together, talking about what the future holds for you both, the idea of having a baby girl for Rhaegar and Baelor to protect.

"What do you apologize for now?"

"For betraying your trust. I made an oath and broke it, and for that, I apologize. It is my biggest regret in life," Aemond says, reaching for your hand. "Please, forgive me."

"Then why do you continue to lie?" You whisper as a tear rolls down your cheeks.

"That's the only truth there is," Aemond whispers breathlessly. You give him a pitiful chuckle and tug your hand away from his despite wanting to hold onto it forever.

Your nose burns as more tears spill from your eyes. Insecurity wrapping you in its arms. "Please, do not lie. Why do you want me to believe you went to the brothel for a fleeting pleasure when I have always been here? Am I not good enough for you?"

Your anger has simmered down to a smoky sadness that envelops you. Aemond is lying to you when you're the person he's supposed to trust the most. If there is a chance of rebuilding this marriage, he must tell you the truth, even if it ruins you.

"Gods, you are everything I wanted and more, my sweet wife," Aemond speaks, cupping your face to wipe away your salty tears.

He's at a loss. He's hurt you, but the pain can be remedied if he speaks the truth. How can he allow you to believe you're not enough when you're the perfect woman. His endeavors in the street of silk stem from his own damaged soul, never yours.

"I am afraid," Aemond confesses, brushing one last tear with the pad of his thumb before he retreats his hands. You stare back at him, puzzled. "It is not what you believe. I have not laid with another woman since I married you."

"Then what is it, Aemond? Because my mind has conjured up the worst of scenarios."

"You will not think of me the same," he says, ashamed, hanging his head to avoid your hurt gaze.

"Is that such a bad thing?" You ask aloud, and without awaiting his response, you continue to speak, "Until you work up the courage to tell me the truth, things will remain the same. No matter how much it hurts."

Standing, you leave Aemond kneeling on the floor to prepare for sleep. You glance over your shoulder and watch Aemond stare deep into the fire. When you step out of the privacy screen, he's gone.

It takes another week of agony for Aemond to come to a decision. He cannot bear having you so close yet so far away. He misses you and greatly underestimates how much happier you make him.

He hasn't been to the brothel since the night you confronted him. He barely spares it a thought nowadays. You are the only person wreaking havoc in his head.

He fucked up his marriage, and now he has to pay his dues, even if it means coming clean about his intentions with Sylvi. It was barely sexual, he hasn't fucked her since he married you, but he couldn't let go of the comfort she provided, and Alicent withdrew.

He's smart enough to know it's a farce. The women in the brothel will do just about anything if it means they are paid. But Aemond deluded himself into believing Sylvi cared about what he had to say and told her things he hadn't spoken to anyone else. She played the part well, giving advice freely and reassuring him with soft touches and softer words.

When the guard opens the door to Aemond's chambers, allowing you to enter, he instantly stands, approaching you to ask for your hand and kiss the back of it.

You raise an eyebrow at him but allow him nonetheless. The press of his lips to your skin sends a spark up your arm and down your spine.

"Wife," he greets, guiding you to sit.

"Aemond," you reply, not quite giving in to his sweet actions. Aemond summoned you with the promise of the truth. That is why you're here.

"How does the day find you?"

"Aemond, please," you plead. You came for the truth, and niceties won't do anything to soften the brunt of his words. Prolonging this won't help anyone.

"Very well," Aemond sighs, gesturing you to sit. His hands remain on his lap where he opens and closes them anxiously. "I met her when I was three and ten. Aegon forced me to the brothel because he thought it was time I…became a man."

You dare not speak as Aemond justifies his actions. You need to know the truth before your nerves consume you.

This is the tricky part of his story. After a brief pause, he clears his throat and continues, "She was far older than I was and offered something I lacked in the Keep. Comfort, solace, familiarity, whatever you want to call it. I continued to visit her throughout my youth, although it wasn't always to find release rather than someone to listen and give me what my mother never could."

Aemond avoids looking at you, afraid of what he might find written on your face. Perhaps disgust, shame, or disapproval.

He owed you the truth, so he spoke about all the details of this affair. How he liked the intimacy of lying naked with Sylvi, suckling at her breast. How she would hold him in her arms and touch him. The advice she would offer. The things they spoke about. How he rejects her when she makes any advances, thinking that's what he wants. He admits that he is completely vulnerable and free for those hours because she will have his side no matter what he says.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Your voice is barely above a whisper. It's terrifying to think he might harbor feelings for her. Such intimate acts easily allow feelings to infiltrate one's being. "Aemond, look at me."

Hesitantly, Aemond meets your eyes. Your face is blank, devoid of emotion that may indicate what you now think of him.

"No, and I never will," Aemond says, swallowing the lump in his throat. He chooses his words carefully, "She was an escape, someone to listen to the tragedy that was my life. She knew what I wanted and gave it unsolicited. I know it is not real, wife, but I was foolish enough to seek more."

The emotion that surfaces in your face is not directed at him; instead, it reflects the insecurities you have about yourself. "Did you not think I could give you what she did and actually mean it?"

Insecurities of his own rise up and make themselves shown, "I thought you would see me as a weaker man."

You're both so young with so much to learn, yet if there is one thing you're certain about, it's the love you share. That love would never make you see Aemond as weak; it would transform that quality he refers to as weak into something totally different and positive.

"You are not weak but a fool," you shake your head, reaching for him. It is your turn to cup his face to force him to focus only on you. "I know of those feelings you hide firmly, Aemond. I spent most of my childhood here in King's Landing. I watched while Aegon and the Strong boys teased you. I was here when you returned from Driftmark without an eye. I heard your cries of pain. You come off as this stoic man to everyone else, the fierce Aemond, but I know the real you."

"I am ashamed." Aemond is truthful. No more lies weight his beating heart.

"Do you swear to never look for her again? That you will come to me instead?"

"I swear it by the old gods and the new. I swear it by the seven. I swear it by my life," Aemond promises. "Will you return to me, wife?" He asks hopefully, placing his hands over yours, afraid your touch will leave him.

"Yes, husband," you nod, pressing your forehead against his.

Your lips find his as the last word you speak is uttered. It's been far too long, and his dragon blood is calling for you. Aemond is quick to react, moving his lips desperately against yours and pulling you to his lap.

He comes to you late at night once there are no more council calls or responsibilities to tend to. It's around that time when he has nothing to busy himself with, and the ache in his chest makes itself known.

It's a constant reminder that he is far from invincible. Pain and hurt live within him, ready to resurface at the most unexpected times.

"Husband." You greet him with a bright smile when he steps into your chambers.

"Wife," he speaks quietly, standing uncomfortably by your door. While he's agreed to come to you in his times of need, Aemond is unsure how to approach the situation.

"What is the matter?" A pout adorns your lips as you walk over to him. It's genuine concern.

Aemond stiffens when you approach him, tilting your head to assess him. You wrap your arms around his waist, searching for his gaze.

"Aemond?" You call to him softly.

"Please," he whispers with shaking hands that he places on your hips. The expensive material of your night shift is soft against his palms.

The tone of his voice and the reserved behavior tell you what he's asking for. You nod wordlessly and grab his hand, guiding him to your bed.

This is unlike those moments when passion takes over and desperate need forces you to tug and tear his clothes away. With patience and delicate fingers, you calmly help him undress.

Unbuckling the clasps of his leather doublet, you slide it down his arms and throw it to the side. The tunic that covers his chest comes off next, exposing the strong panels of his abdomen and the ropes of muscle of his arms. All a result of his extensive training.

Featherlight touches to his skin make his breath hitch as they slide down to his breeches, where you agilely untie the laces. You don't meet his eyes as you do so, giving him some resemblance of modesty, but Aemond watches intently how you treat him with such care.

You gently push him to sit on the bed, where you kneel to take off his boots and socks. Aemond allows his breeches to fall to the ground, leaving him completely naked, except for the eyepatch he wears like armor.

It protects him from the disgusted expressions people shoot him with because of the deformity he acquired as a child.

It never stops hurting.

You've never been repulsed by his missing eye. On the contrary, you're fascinated by the scar and the sapphire embedded in the empty socket.

Reaching around his head, you unclasp the leather and place the eyepatch with the rest of his clothing. You offer him a delicate smile while placing your hand on his cheek, and he leans into it.

Your touch on his raised scar eases the pain.

Withdrawing from him, you tug in the lacing of your night shift and shrug it off your shoulders to uncover your body. You had promised to offer him the same care she did in that wretched place.

The bed is covered by pillows and blankets to protect you from the cold of the incoming winter, and you mentally thank the maids for preparing the fire before they left you to rest. You lie over the furs, extending your hand towards Aemond to welcome him in.

Aemond's timidness is present, but he pushes it to the side as he climbs onto the bed and settles across your lap. Your skin is soft and warm against his, and your soft curves, molded to accommodate his children, bring him comfort.

As you brush through his hair with your fingers, you gently untie the band holding half of his hair up. You massage the silver tresses, his scalp prickling from the release of tension. He hums quietly, enjoying the feeling of your fingers on his hair.

"What troubles you, my Prince?" You finally ask.

Aemond's head rests on your shoulder, his breath hitting your collarbones. One of your hands rests upon his back, drawing figures across the expanse of it, feeling every bump and curve of his spine and muscles. The other grasps his hand, pulling it to your lips to press a reassuring kiss to the palm of it.

"That title. Prince." He murmurs sadly, taking a deep breath.

That familiar scent of oils invades his senses. It's a smell he remembers from his childhood when Alicent still cared for him. In turn, his body relaxes, and he closes his eyes momentarily.

"It is a stepping stone in the hierarchy," you reply, recognizing what he implies. Aegon does not have what it takes to rule a kingdom, while Aemond years to sit on the throne.

Aemond reaches up to grasp at a strand of copper hair. The same shade as his mothers. He twists it around his finger while shifting to make himself more comfortable. "I thought all of my achievements would be more fruitful," he ponders.

It seems that ruling a kingdom falls on the eldest male heir, even if they are not fit to rule. Aegon sits on the throne, yet the rest of the council rules on his behalf. This puts the Targaryen name to shame; the fool barely speaks High Valyrian.

"Patience is key. Aegon shows no signs of changing. He will be his own downfall," you respond thoughtfully. You hate thinking about Aegon in such a way, but it's the truth. He wants to prove himself so badly but goes about it all the wrong way.

Copper hair leads to naked skin the same shade as his mother's, and for once, he can imagine himself in his mother's embrace. It brings tears to his eyes as he curls further into you, and his nose brushes against your skin.

With the pillows propping you up and Aemond curled on your lap, you press a kiss to the crown of his head. Your touch runs all over his skin, from his face to his feet.

Aemond continues to speak his mind, and you offer the perfect responses to his dilemmas, calming him when his emotions get the best of him and tears spill from his eyes.

He should've come to you sooner. You're a high-born lady who knows much more about life in court. There were always warning signs with Sylvi. She tried to manipulate him into thinking about the common folk and their ailments more than once. She would never understand that while House Targaryen is at war, there is no space to think about the well-being of its subordinates.

When silence ensues, Aemond allows himself to look up at you. You're serene as you hold him close to your body without an ounce of impatience. The resemblance to his mother is there, but he got something much better.

He got a woman who loves him unconditionally, flaws and all.

Lacing his fingers with yours, Aemond closes his eyes and melts further into your touch. You hug him close and whisper your affections. This is how it was always meant to be.

That night, Aemond sleeps in your chambers. It would be wrong for him to leave after you've treated him with such tenderness. You are no simple whore from the street of silk. You are his wife, and as such, you are meant to be treated with utmost respect. Something he had failed to do but no more.

Breathy whines, wake him before the sun rises. Recognizing your voice, he wakes, looking at his surroundings for any danger. When you whine once more, he glances over at you.

You squirm in your sleep, seemingly uncomfortable. Something bothers you, but your exhaustion prevents you from waking. One of your hands reaches for your chest, and another whine spills from your lips.

Aemond's eye is drawn to the action. He reaches for the sheet covering your body and pulls on it to find the cause of your discomfort. His breath hitches, and his cock aches.

Your breasts are swollen and tender from being filled to their capacity, causing beads of milk to leak from the stiff peaks of your nipples.

Aemond briefly remembers you mentioning how Baelor has been fuzzy lately, and Rhaegar is getting older and doesn't seek you as often for food, yet you continue to produce copious amounts of milk. He has been blessed with a perfect wife and an excellent mother who produces enough sustenance for his children.

Aemond's pointer finger traces a path down your neck to your left breast. They are calling to him as his finger follows the curve of your breast up to your puffy areola and tip of your nipple. A slight press to the taught skin prompts more fluid to leak down your sides, and you hiss in discomfort.

Bringing his finger up to his lips, he licks the whitish liquid. Perhaps it's a mistake, as he's left wanting more. Aemond uncovers the top half of your naked body and leans over your chest. With one look towards your beautiful face, he wraps his lips around the plush flesh of your breast.A surge of liquid fills his mouth.

You have the sweetest milk he has ever had the pleasure of tasting. Aemond moans at the saccharine taste. It is so much better than the farce he had in the brothel. This milk comes from his wife, who nurtures his healthy sons.

A loud, sultry moan spills from your lips as some of the pressure is alleviated. You're now between sleep and awareness. Your hand cradling the back of Aemond's head.

Aemond's cock is painfully hard as it presses against your thigh. He's been driven into a frenzy, your milk serving as an aphrodisiac. His hand brushes against your inner thigh to answer a rising question.

Careful fingers find your wet slit, proving his theory right. He's not the only depraved person in the room. Your body is responsive to him even in altered states of consciousness.

Your cunt is absolutely drenched, making it so easy for Aemond to push a finger in. It's enough to fully wake you from your slumber. "Ah, Aemond." You throw your head back in pleasure.

It takes you a second to take in the entirety of Aemond's actions. The pleasure coursing through you, overwhelming your senses. A loud moan tears through your throat at the realization that Aemond is not simply teasing your breasts. Aemond feasts on your aching tits.

"Have your fill, my prince," you beg as that ache in your chest is pleasingly soothed.

Aemond is eager and rough. The light stubble of his jaw sends a current of electricity down to your cunt where you clench around his fingers.

"My Aemond, good boy." He responds to the praise why sliding another finger into your tight cunny. The slick sound of your arousal accompanies the suckling of his lips.

You squeeze your other breast to alleviate the tightening discomfort and drops fall on your hand. Drawn to it, Aemond switches, and you squeal as his teeth scrape the sensitive skin of your nipple.

Aemond ruts into your thigh as he quickens the pace of his fingers intruding on your cunny to part through your walls. The vibration of his quiet moans stimulates your swollen peaks.

If this is not heaven, he doesn't wish for it.

Your fingers tangle in his silver hair when you arch your back to offer yourself to him. His eye meets your hooded gaze and sets himself to give you whatever you please. His thumb circles your pearl expertly, and he curls his digits to hit your spot more firmly.

You cry in pleasure with your hips, riding his fingers until you come with a shudder and his name on your lips. Your walls clamp down on his fingers hard enough it is hard for him to retrieve them.

Aemond rises from your chest and pinches your cheeks with his fingers that remain coated with your slick, prompting your mouth to open. A stream of your milk falls from his mouth to yours as he gives you a sweet taste.

You believe another orgasm rips through your body as his lips press against yours to share a sweet tasting kiss. His tongue invades your mouth, allowing you the pleasure of tasting yourself on his tongue.

"Please," you beg for him, spreading your legs wantonly.

One to indulge his wife in all pleasures, Aemond pulls you on top of him, "Take what you desire."

His cock is fully erect and begging for attention. The tip is swollen and flushed a deep pink as it leaks pre that beads down his shaft.

Aemond acknowledges you've reached your limit when his beautiful wife, who adores worshipping his cock on her knees, grabs his length and sinks onto him without a preamble.

"Go on, my love, you can take it," Aemond hisses as you try to lower yourself to take all of him. His hands grip your hips tightly, urging you on. He swears your walls continue to contract from your previous peak.

"Aemond, husband," you moan lewdly. Your hips tentatively begin bouncing on him, and your tits follow to Aemond's delight.

He's mesmerized by them and how they continue to leak. Aemond mouths one more aggressively, teasing your nipple with his tongue, nipping at the surrounding flesh to leave his mark. His hand massages the other, allowing droplets to fall down your abdomen and onto your cunt.

"My perfect wife, such a good mother," Aemond mutters, praising you, "Pretty tits always full and her cunny always wet."

You hold onto Aemond's strong shoulders, your nails leaving marks across his back. Your hips grind on him deliciously as your clit rubs against his pelvis.

"Aemond, please," you beg, quickening your pace. You're on the verge of yet another delicious peak. "I want another." You'll have as many as he wants as long as he treats you with this much attention.

Aemond kisses up your neck and growls in your ear, "I shall give you as many as you'd like."

Swiftly, he turns you so your back is to the bed. He hikes your thighs up around his waist and snaps his hips fiercely. You first the bedsheets around you as Aemond holds bruisingly against your hips and thighs.

He's close to his own peak as well. Aemond manages to hold back because of all the attention he's giving your tits, but his cock cannot take anymore, especially with how deliciously your walls wrap around him.

Aemond admires his perfect wife. Your hair fans out on the pillows, and your facial expression morphs into one of pure ecstasy as you come once more. Your breasts are less swollen, but your stiff peaks remain puffy and flushed from his attention. Your cunt chokes his cock, knowing exactly what it takes to please him.

His rhythmic thrusting begins to falter, so with a couple more jerks of his hips and a groan, he paints your insides white. "There we go, all for you."

"Thank you," you lilt, biting your lip at the sensation of being filled.

You giggle when he leans down to kiss all over your face, a laugh of his own reaching your ears.

The door creaking open wakes you up, bringing the sheets to your chest, you sit up. Aemond lets the bedsheet fall to his lap, ready to scold whoever dares interrupt his time with his wife.

A small blonde head peaks in, and a big grin unleashes on its lips when he sees his parents. Young Rhaegar toddles into the room, and his head is barely seen as he stands on the edge of the bed. His tiny hands try to grasp the edge, but he's still too small to get himself up.

Aemond reaches over to bring him up, pressing a kiss on his head, but Rhaegar happily crawls over Aemond and falls into your waiting arms.

Aemond's exposed sapphire earns no reaction. In fact, the eyepatch tends to catch his son's attention more. Aemond ensured that when his sons came into this world, he would greet them as he truly is.

You pepper kisses all over Rhaegar's face, and he giggles, squirming on your lap. While Baelor favored his father, Rhaegar was entirely yours. "What are you doing here, little dragon?" You ask him sweetly.

The nursemaid stepping through the open door answers your question, "Prince Aemond, Lady Hightower. My apologies, he scurried away before I could-"

"It is alright. You may leave us," Aemond says, waving his hand to dismiss her. The young girl bows her head, hiding her blushing cheeks, and scurries away without saying another word, aware of the compromising position of the Prince and his wife.

"My sweetest, why are you up so early?" You coo, threading your fingers through his messy hair that sticks up in all directions.

Rhaegar hides his face on your chest, mumbling, "Missed you."

You gasp dramatically, facing the young boy with a surprised expression. "You missed me? I missed you!" Your son laughs and presses a wet kiss to your cheek.

"What about me, little dragon?" Aemond asks, tickling his belly.

Rhaegar cutely shakes his head with a mischievous smile, squealing loudly when Aemond reaches for him and takes him into his own arms to tickle him.

"Mama!" Rhaegar's childlike laugh pierces the air as he asks for your help.

"You're going to get me in trouble," Aemond grumbles, playfully glaring at his son as he continues to tickle him.

"Mama!" Rhaegar repeats, pushing Aemond's hands away and waiting for you to scold Aemond or something.

You watch the interaction with a wide smile. It's nice to see Aemond this calm. "Give me back, my little dragon, or there are no more kisses for you," you threaten Aemond with a furrow of your eyebrows and a pout. Aemond abruptly stops and loosens his hold on the toddler.

Rhaegar laughs and throws himself in your arms, hugging your neck. His giggles never cease. Aemond winks at you and pulls you to lie on his chest.

"How about we go see Vhagar later?" Aemond asks Rhaegar who calmed down to a drowsy state. It's still very early for him to have been up. He must've had a bad dream.

"Sunfyre?" Rhaegar gasps, looking up at his father. Aemond rolls his eyes and nods. He guesses he can invite Aegon so his son can see the golden dragon.

"That's your favorite, isn't it?" You ask him amusedly, although you agree. Sunfyre is a beautiful dragon and much friendlier than Vhagar.

Rhaegar nods enthusiastically as he babbles about the pretty dragon. You lay with your back to Aemond's chest as he envelops you both with his arms.

At that moment, Aemond realizes he feels fulfilled with his little family by his side.

it was not part of the plan to let this oneshot be this long. there is something about the complexity of aemond's character that doesn't let me write something brief.

nonetheless this was a super fun oneshot to write. it took me the whole week because i was so busy but i had been thinking about it nonstop. i think i overdid it with the lactation part but oh well!

if you enjoyed this oneshot please don’t forget to like or comment (i accept aemond's sapphire, rhaenyra's crown, criston cole slander, emojis, words of encouragement, a lot of praise, virtual hugs and gushing about sunfyre and aegon) and if you want more of it feel free to let me know!

-nikki 🖤

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

this isn’t exactly a question, but has twisted wonderland ever expanded on gender norms before? I know in sunset savanna women seem to be highly respected, but it seems like that is a behavior unique to sunset savanna. It seems like gender discrimination might be uncommon in briar valley because Mallenoa was so respected by her subjects, but Sebek, silver, and grim were surprised to find out she was so self sufficient and powerful when they met her in Lilia’s dream (this is more my interpretation tho) . in the endless night event, silver tells a story about a warrior who taught for her country, which is a reference to mulan i think, and the person he is telling the story to is very surprised that the strong warrior is a girl. I think silver told that story to Leona but I don’t remember. I’ve heard that royal sword academy is a school boys and girls can both attend, but night raven college is one of the most prestigious magic schools out there, so it being boys only makes me wonder if gender is a part of magic politics, although we have been shown female characters who have high educations and magical abilities such as Mrs . Rosehearts

No, not really? It’s explicitly mentioned and touched upon in extended conversations maybe a total of… 3ish times. Of those instances, most are referring to the Sunset Savanna.

Gender norms and politics are some of those elements of world-building that can come off as really ham-fisted and preachy if the characters stop everything altogether and just start expositing about it. Thankfully, TWST largely doesn’t take that “telling” route and instead “shows” us what they mean through subtle implications.

Now, for the most part I think the gender norms of Twisted Wonderland are similar to the real world, but may be more progressive overall.

For one, Twisted Wonderland has many male characters (both in NRC and beyond it) who openly wear cosmetics. No one ever comments on men wearing makeup or dressing up in a negative light. Sometimes they complain about putting makeup on (ie the effort) or certain fashions they don’t vibe with but never do they say it’s “not manly” for them to put on makeup/perfume/jewelry, care about their clothing, etc. Even the characters we traditionally think of as masculine (Jack, Leona, etc.) wear eyeliner and eyeshadow, jewelry, or try new styles of clothing. Floyd and Ace express interest in fashion. Jamil cares about the quality of textiles and Kalim is willing to buy tons of jewelry for himself (and his classmates!!) if the mood strikes him. Rook regularly compliments people’s looks and Cater has an eye for aesthetics too. Lilia brags that he is “cute” and likes to show off his cuteness to others. And, of course, we cannot forget our queen Vil, who champions the idea of challenging and redefining gender norms. He also shares these ideals with Epel, who has been called out by Vil for having “outdated” gender norms. Given that Vil is such a popular celebrity (5 million followers on Magicam), I get the impression that the sentiments he extols is a popular way of thinking and is the direction that TWST society wants to move toward. (This is assuming that his fans are mainly younger people.) The boys often “dress up” and wear different makeup when visiting new places such as Silk City and and Clock Town, so it appears that a lot of Twisted Wonderland society that we’ve explored leans more liberal when to comes to gender expression.

Another detail I think is important is that many of the Great Seven—in fact, over half of them—are women. This is notable because oftentimes history glosses over the achievements and accomplishments of women in favor of their male peers. The fact that NRC and all of Twisted Wonderland seems to honor them in addition to their male counterparts says something. The G7 women aren’t even the only instance of female figures who shaped history. Azul and Floyd, for example, have brought up the Mermaid Princess on multiple occasions, talking about how her union with a human prince and personal efforts have strengthened the bond between land and sea.

Gendered terms to refer to mages exist, but according to Lilia, “witches” and “wizards” are outdated (they were used during the human/fae war era of ~400 years ago). Currently, most prefer to use the gender neutral terms “mage” or sometimes “sorcerer”.

There does not appear to be gender restrictions in terms of the modern day workforce either. We know of the boys’ family members who are great mages or hold significant power or status. Mrs. Rosehearts is an accomplished medical mage, Mrs. Ashengrotto runs the most popular restaurant in the Coral Sea and his grandmother is a benefactor to those in the neighborhood, Mrs. Shroud is STYX’s Chief Engineer, Meleanor is an integral leader of Briarland’s military forces, Maleficia is queen, etc. Even the women in more mundane roles play vital parts in their communities: Mrs. Clover is a baker alongside her husband, Mrs. Zigvolt assists her husband in his dental clinic, Granny Bucchi supports him as his only relative, Marja travels and helps sell her family’s produce, etc. There are many economic opportunities for women in this world.

Some may point out that NRC is a prestigious all-boys school, so there aren’t opportunities for women in education. The same goes for RSA, which is another prestigious all/ boys school. To that, I say… that’s because NRC is a very limited scope of magic education as a whole. We don’t know how many other schools are out there or if all magic schools are boys only. It’s not impossible to think that there may be girls only or mixed schools out there—but the NRC cast are the ones this game focuses on, so we view things from that perspective. I’d also like to add that we only see male students from other schools because of meta reasons: 1) there are limited game assets, so some details are inaccurately conveyed by the live 2D models, and 2) this is a joseimuke, a game with a predominantly male cast aimed at a target audience of women. It makes sense that there wouldn’t be many live 2D assets for random female mobs.

There isn’t any lore in-game or in other official materials which would imply that women are discriminated against in education or in the workforce. However, Twisted Wonderland at large seems to still perpetuate gender expectations and gendered traits as we understand them irl. There are some instances when the idea of women having traditionally feminine interests are mentioned: (Suitor Suit) Ace complains that his ex only liked romance and animal movies, disliked thrill rides, and preferred cute things and taking Magicam pics; (Birthday Boy) Cater also mentions his mother and older sisters having interests in making sweets and cute things. Additionally, as Anon mentions, in Endless Halloween Night, Silver shares the story of Mulan, who pretended to be a man to save her father from enlisting in the army. He told this tale to Jamil (not Leona!), who reacts with surprise when he learns that this capable warrior is a woman. At the same time, there are “masculine” expectations vaguely alluded to: Deuce states he is the “man” of his household, Epel of course worries about his manliness and sees Savanaclaw, the athletic dorm, as “cool”, etc.

Of course, these gender norms are not pervasive nor are they the same everywhere in Twisted Wonderland. One extreme is demonstrated through Epel, who holds the most regressive beliefs prior to Vil’s influence. This leads me to believe that Harveston is one of these areas that perpetuates these beliefs—and when you think about its population, it makes sense. Epel tells us that his hometown is largely elderly people, who are more likely to hold conservative worldviews compared to young people. The community, being small and located pretty far from nearby urban centers, is also exposed to fewer ideas that differ from what they perceive as their “norm”. These factors will naturally shape its residents and inform how they interact with and perceive others.

I actually think that Briar Valley would also be one of those areas with regressive gender norms for similar in-universe reasons as Harveston. Briar Valley is described to us as a region mainly populated by long-lived fae… meaning they are pretty old and more likely to be conservative. Not only that, but the area is very isolated and fae in general prefer to keep to their own kind. Briar Valley is also said to be opposed to change and new ideas and technology being introduced to their land. All of these factors suggest they would have more old-fashioned ideas about gender, not progressive ones. Meleanor and Maleficia may be widely respected and viewed as capable women, but I do not think it is fair to extrapolate how magically gifted monarchs of the Draconia bloodline are viewed to the governed population. It is more likely that they are the exception, not the rule. This better explains why Sebek and Silver, who are technically subjects of Briar Valley, are surprised to learn of a powerful princess. Their shock, as well as how Lilia describes human princesses as being meek and needing protection, also implies the usual gender norms. Given that humans seem to be the majority race in Twisted Wonderland, it means those gender expectations were predominant at the time.

The Sunset Savanna is the only country we know of at the moment where women are noted to be viewed differently. According to Leona, he “respects women” since the women back in his home country are physically stronger and stronger-willed than men. (This may be a reference to how irl lionesses do most of the hunting.) It’s not uncommon to see women in high-ranking warrior or guard positions because of this. This implies that the gender roles are somewhat reversed here; women are the ones expected to be strong, not men.

Slight tangent here: I don’t particularly subscribe to the idea that “strong” women are somehow better or more deserving of praise than “weak” women. It’s a fallacy that I see perpetuated way too often in media. True feminism does not mean demonizing what is seen as traditionally “feminine”, nor does it mean women can only be independent or strong by acting in traditionally “masculine” ways. Feminism means not judging or holding back women from pursuing whatever it is they want to do, be it a career of their own, homemaking, or anything in between. Women can be strong and admirable no matter what they choose to do with their lives.

Okay, so Twisted Wonderland does operate on gender norms—but that does NOT inherently mean that Twisted Wonderland is a sexist hellscape. Gender discrimination is on a spectrum, and we’ve yet to see any blatantly regressive demands be taken as anything of real merit in TWST. If anything, they get clowned on and told off as much as Sebek is for his anti-human sentiments. And, as I’ve pointed out earlier, Twisted Wonderland on the whole appears to accept and normalizes things that may not be widely accepted irl— namely, men in makeup or in traditionally feminine fashion. There’s also many examples we can look to of regular women in power or jobs across the world of Twisted Wonderland.

We also need to remember that TWST was penned by people who also live in a society of gender norms, so it’s expected for their lived experiences to also bleed into the worlds they create. It doesn’t make them bad people, it just makes them human. They write what they know and also play around with the ideas of different societies—those that skew in both directions (as we see with Harveston vs Sunset Savanna).

[animeyanderelover]

Since you're starting JJK, can you do the sleeping with a yandere ask for Yuuji, Sukuna, Megumi, Nanami, Gojo and characters of your choice?

I’ll be going on a vacation during my holidays so expect little to no updates from me then. Those sleeping habits that are what I imagine those characters to be like, by the way.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, toxic relationship, obsession, possessive behavior, delusion, clinginess, abduction

Sleeping with a Yandere

Itadori Yuji

🩷​Yuji is a walking cuddle bear already if you two aren't sleeping in the same bed because he just can't get enough of his sweetheart. An abduction is never something that Yuji sees himself doing nor do you really so with the so unexpected abduction your relationship falls apart and it breaks Yuji's heart. Maybe some part of his brain can understand why you're as upset as you are right now but considering that he only resorts to an abduction in extreme situations, another part of him is just as stubborn to believe that he has done only something to be able to protect you. It isn't like he plans to imprison you forever after all. His delusions have even made him hope that you'd want to share a bed with him yet he resigns himself to your rejection and prepares a futon for you in another room.

🩷​One of the most obvious problems with Yuji isn't even something that is his own fault. Sukuna has to make some comments from time to time to try to annoy and anger the boy which might happen whilst both of you try to sleep as well. He always slaps the mouth of Sukuna that suddenly appears and apologizes to you slightly embarrassed about the inconvenience. Otherwise Yuji sleeps well, really well. Maybe sometimes a bit too well as you can't help but wonder how you can get him to wake up when you awake in the middle of the night and feel the urgent need to go to the bathroom. It always takes you a minute or two of shaking, light slapping and whispering his name until he wakes up and lets you out of his arms because his grip is too strong for you to free yourself alone. He snores slightly but that isn't the worst, you'd much rather make a fuss about the fact that he tends to drool on you in his sleep.

Fushiguro Megumi

💙​As Megumi's darling you'd do the both of you a favor by being a reassuring individual since the Jujutsu Sorcerer tends to be very easily paranoid. He's had a case of being stressed around people before yet now with your addition to his life, this all becomes just multiple times worse. Ultimately it is this paranoia that drives him to the act of an abduction and similar to Yuji, he partially knows why it would scare you. Yet he has never had problems with justifying questionable actions with his love for you in mind so this won't be any different in this scenario. Why don't you understand that this was all done for your safety?? A strong negative response from your side leads to avoidance as he gives you time, gives himself partially time too to calm himself. Both of you sleep in different rooms during that time, although you know that he still keeps an eye on you.

💙​He doesn't want to show a very strong response when both of you start sharing a bed, it isn't his style. He would be lying though if he would say that he isn't looking forward to it. It's one of the highlights of his entire day where he has to exhaust himself with the antics of his fellow Jujutsu Sorcerers and pressure from the Zenin clan so spending the hours of the night with your warmth close to his body always reminds him that there's still something good left for him, a person who makes all the drama durable. I see him as someone who needs hours to fall asleep simply because there's so much going on in his mind and often it happens that Megumi goes through interactions you had with people that day and start overthinking certain gestures and words you exchanged with them. He isn't someone with a deep sleep either and worst of all is that he tends to wake up a lot at night, his gaze always searching for you every time that happens and if he doesn't see you, he tends to freak out a bit.

Zenin Maki

💚​If her darling is acting like a crybaby after their abduction, there might be signs of very mild annoyance from Maki's side but otherwise she is very patient. She fully understand why you're upset and mad at her, she's aware of what she has done. The aspect of protection dulls potential guilt though as she will always value your safety and life over your own feelings if there is no other way around it. She's so tough and strict but oddly fair at the same time because her cold facade doesn't mean that she just doesn't care at all. She's willing to give you some space and time for yourself as she's sure that you need it and as long as you don't try to escape or are seriously rude, she won't force you into anything. You get your own room with your own bed to sleep in and won't hear much from her for the next few days, although you know that she's still checking on you.

💚​She is looking forward to it but don't expect her to openly admit that. She isn't one to ask you first about this and if you're the one to suggest it first, she will never spot teasing you subtly about it for the rest of your life. She does her best though to suppress the smug grin that wants to appear on her face during the first few nights. She isn't actively cuddling you but you definitely have a problem at hand when she decides to swing an arm around your waist because subconsciously she tightens her grip once she falls asleep and since she has a very superior strength to the average human, you won't get up anytime soon unless you wake her up. She normally is able to sleep quite well but when she's stressed she experiences troubles falling asleep or tends to wake up multiple times at night. Normally she acts all tough and rarely talks to you about her own worries but if you ever witness her having an erratic sleep at night, you always know that there's something that is stressing her out.

Ryomen Sukuna

🗾His darling is screwed no matter how you might look at it, especially if they're only a human. Because this man has made it very apparent that he doesn't care for anyone or anything and even you won't be an exception for this. Sukuna has always been a man who takes what he wants and that applies for you just as much. You're an object of his affection and greedy desire, by all means he sees you as his valued possession more than he sees you as a person with feelings and rights. So you can't expect any sympathy from him after your abduction and you'd do your best to not get on his nerves because he can hurt you and he will do so if he feels like it. Sukuna only does what he wants and the only thing you can really do is take it silently in hopes of not angering him but he'd find it cute if you would always show a little bit of fear around him.

🗾​I'm not even sure if he needs any sleep anymore since his times as a human are long over although he has kept his memories from that time so he still remembers that humans need sleep. Although what you need doesn't have to mean by a long shot that he'll just give it to you freely. In fact I totally see him terrorizing your sleep sometimes for the shallow reason of his own sadistic amusement. Other times he only allows you to fall asleep if you let him join you in bed and he'll keep you otherwise awake nights on end until you're too tired to care anymore. You're incredibly dumb for letting him so close to you in your most vulnerable state and the times that he has considered abusing that vulnerability are numerous. Honestly, he's being the ultimate creep by just watching you sleep the entire time, hands roaming over your body to feel what is his but if he's feeling rather relaxed and mellow, he sometimes just buries his face in your neck, closes his eyes and enjoys your scent, your warmth, your heartbeat.

Gojo Satoru

🩵​Best of luck with Gojo after an abduction, better say goodbye to your privacy and personal boundaries because Gojo? He just doesn't give a single fuck about any of those. No, somehow he grows even more overbearing after you're permanently stuck in the probably biggest house that you've ever been in. Partially just because he feels like he has now his dream of living a peaceful and domestic life with his sweet lover without any stress from higher-ups or anyone objecting to this relationship. Now he can just love you and keep you for himself. It's a very strange and questionable way of fulfilling his dream but he is at a point in his life where he has given up to feel guilty and doesn't care anymore. He's always been the strongest to satisfy his own clan and the higher-ups of the sorcerer world so he deserves someone for himself. Someone for him and him only.

🩵​He's a clingy monster and you should already know this as he has barely kept his hands to himself during the entire time since you've known him and that has only grown worse the stronger his obsession got. There is no question, you are going to sleep with him in one bed from the moment you are imprisoned in your new home with him. He isn't even listening to your protests and complains and you'd better not provoke him unless you want to see him dropping his light-hearted facade. Seeing him asleep disturbs you but not because of his clingy behavior and tight hug he always gives you nor his surprisingly deep sleep but because he looks so terribly vulnerable. White hair covering his eyes, soft breaths escaping his lips and no teasing expression adorning his face. It's even worse when he initially wakes up and blue and sleepy eyes stare at you as he whispers, no, pleads you to never leave him. It breaks your heart a little.

Geto Suguru

🗻​​Suguru has broken your trust severely when you realize what he has been doing all along, abusing your trust and ignorance to his own advantage until you made him your most trusted person and told him all of your thoughts. Now you're here, imprisoned and surrounded by jujutsu sorcerers who share his views. You're a lesser being in here for being a non-sorcerer and you know that secretly most of the people here look down on you but only show some level of respect because you're Geto's precious love or whatever he's feeling for you. No one tells you what's really going on but you are smart enough to understand that those people possess very special powers and that something is always watching you even when you're all by yourself. So you never misbehave, aware what would happen otherwise.

🗻​He isn't over the fact that he's fallen in love with what he hates the most even after an abduction so you are sleeping elsewhere. A tiny room with a futon as if to rub your lesser position in your face but truth be told, he's doing this mainly because he secretly wants your warmth next to him at night. He's just trying to reject his desires as he doesn't want to fall too deeply into his infatuation but it's already too late to turn back and perhaps you're more surprised than anyone when one day he tells you you'll share a bed with him from now on. You even vocalize your confusion but shut up when he throws you a sharp glare, silencing you as he himself doesn't want to answer your question. Vocalizing his needs would only make it harder to brush off as something less after all. Geto doesn't want to show too much affection but subconsciously he always fails as his half-awake form always pulls you closer to his body, always desires to feel your warm body safely held against his own as his long hair tickles your neck and face.

Nanami Kento

💛​Here we have a man who is trying to be his most respectful to you after an abduction that he has been planning for a longer time now after a triggering accident, most likely something regarding his very protective feelings. He isn't scolding you for being scared and even lets you insult him all you want with a frightening calm expression on his face, only really stopping you if you try to escape, hurt him or yourself in which case you see his face flashing in anger and slight frustration as you realize how scary he can be if he chooses to be. He gives you space as much as he can but even then his presence is felt throughout your entire new life as you realize that Nanami apparently enjoys taking care of you to the point where he's being controlling with it. There's a certain schedule to your life now, one that he has prepared specifically for you.

💛​This even includes your bedtime as you have to be at a certain hour in bed and get enough sleep and have to get up at a certain time in the morning. Nanami isn't forcing you to share a bed with him though as he graciously prepares another room for you to stay and sleep in. So it's a decision based on consens after your abduction to sleep with him and he's another case of showing his emotions in a very controlled way whilst being deep down just relieved that the worst phrase of the abduction seems to be over now. His sleeping schedule is just as meticulous though so both of you go to the bed at the same time and stand up in the morning at the same time. Nanami is also another candidate who needs a bit longer until he falls asleep because he's also thinking a lot when he lies in bed and only silence surrounds him. He has always an arm wrapped around you but the grip isn't too tight for you to not be able to free yourself if you should ever feel the need to visit the toilet. He is a bit more of a sensitive sleeper though so try to be quiet if you don't want to wake him up.

[pippin-katz]

Voices We Don’t Hear

I was thinking about the scene in the cell down in Hell and wondering why it makes my heart clench so much even after having watched it so many times at this point, and I figured it out! It also led me noticing something in another scene that sticks out when it shows up. It’s the scene in the forest with Edwin and the Cat King.

It’s two lines of dialogue that I’m referring to: “This is all you are. Do you understand?” - Edwin from Ep. 6 “Hey, hey… let’s get you out of here.” - Charles from Ep. 7

These two lines have rare emotional tones for each of them. That sentence is a really bad way to say it, but I'll try to explain it.

We don't hear Charles speak in a soft voice often. He whispers down there in Hell and in Esther's kitchen, but I can't think of any other moments where Charles actually whispers. And there's something different about his voice in that line specifically. Because even though he's whispering, his voice is very clear and not breathy. With full whispering, the person's voice gets mostly obscured by that weird static-like/screen-filter that comes from talking that quietly, like Edwin's voice. (I have no idea how to describe what I'm talking about, but hopefully that's enough for you to understand lol)

So, even when Charles is speaking softly, it's not as quietly as he can. That line in particular is right after Edwin tells him what the demon does to him, and it's softer than all the others. And it's obvious why.

This is without a doubt the first time Charles has ever seen him like this: crying, small, scared, and so unlike himself. It's already heartbreaking. Then Edwin tells him about his torture, and he breaks down crying after managing to keep his most of his composure before.

If you look closely, Charles blinks a few times fast before he turns and cups Edwin's face. It's so dark and the lighting is so strange, but his eyes are shinier than they were previously. He forces himself to keep his focus on the task and being strong for Edwin, but he looks like he wants to cry.

Then he says that line so gently, so delicately while looking directly into his eyes while he holds his head between his hands. Charles voice is softer and a tiny bit strained from keeping his emotions in check.

It's the softest, most loving, and gentle moment of Charles in the entire show.

On the flipside, the line Edwin says to the Cat King is similar. Edwin definitely gets angry, frustrated, etc. and shouts and yells. But all of the people he yells at are people he has personal connections with, and the root of his distress comes from himself.

He yells at Crystal because he's having an anxiety attack after all the rapid changes to their routine, and bickers back and forth with her, but it's never truly malicious. He’s angry, but more importantly, he’s hurt. Crystal’s seeming lack of understanding of the weight of the importance is reminding him of how little people care. He snaps at Simon in Hell, but within minutes he calms down, recognizing how genuinely remorseful and ignorant Simon had been. He yells at Charles in a sort of angry-loving way on the staircase in Hell; he's not actually angry with him.

But in the forest, Edwin finds out that the boy he's been seeing and making friends with has been the familiar of the witch who wants to destroy them in disguise, and was pretending for at least some of their relationship. He also learns of all this because the Cat King exposes him rather than Monty confessing. He's hurt and angry, and then the Cat King pulls the "you owe me card" to try and get Edwin to kiss him even after all of the times he's rejected him.

He tells him off and goes to leave, but the comment the Cat King makes about dismissing him makes him turn around immediately. The way Edwin gets close to him, invading his space like he's done to him multiple times, and shoves the bracelet in front of his face.

There's real venom in his voice when he says the line. It's rough, gravelly, and it's obvious that Edwin has truly run out of patience for the Cat King's antics.

It is truly the angriest we see him in the show, at least from a standpoint of genuine anger toward someone he considers an adversary of some kind.

Edwin has no real relationship with the Cat King; he's basically his warden, the person who has trapped him in this town, and then treats him like he owns him. Given that it was a matter of diplomacy and caused by an error he made, he allowed the Cat King to have his fun to some extent, but in that forest, when he's just found out his new friend is actually a crow and there's a massive, ghost-eating mushroom monster threatening his and Charles' existence, he could not give less of a fuck about playing nice. He's frustrated and upset and stressed about so many different things all at once, and then this smug cat guy, who seems to think they're something more than a captor and his captive, has the audacity to say that Edwin owes him? Yeah, bye bitch! He is done.

I want to hear more of both of these versions of the two of them. I want to hear Edwin rip into an enemy, voice dripping with malice. I want to hear Charles comfort and reassure him (or anyone, but preferably Edwin) with that soft voice that is cherishing and gentle, treating him like something delicate that deserves to be handled with care after the universe has quite literally ripped him apart and crushed him.

(ko-fi)

[bwabys-scenarios]

Anything for his mission

Camboy!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: consensually filming sex, handjob, mentions of pregnancy/breeding

A/N: Feel free to send camboy!Kurapika requests! Also, I posted this in my discord months ago. If you want to see more stuff like this, you should join! Here’s the link

taglist: @desiray562

if you would like to be added to the NSFW taglist, comment a ❤️!! make sure you have your AGE in your bio, and that you’re able to be tagged/mentioned!

Kurapika discovers that side of the internet one night when he’s researching a paper trail of some person different social media accounts.

He’s absolutely mortified at first. Immediately he’s shutting his laptop and glancing at a picture of you he keeps on his nightstand.

Kurapika hesitantly opens the laptop back up, sighing to himself. ‘I’ll just check out the information on that account then delete my search history.’

He doesn’t even know why he’s embarrassed and ashamed, it’s not like you and him are together. Why would you care if he’s visiting some adult website? He’s nearly 20 for gods sake!

He searches through the account, not finding anything to interesting… except that the person has a type.

Skinny blonde boys.

Kurapika blinks. The person he’d been researching had multiple pairs of the scarlet eyes, and so far he hadn’t been able to find any weaknesses in the persons defenses.

Maybe Kurapika would have to get creative…

You blink when Kurapika comes home with a box, not letting you look inside of. You become curious when he locks his door, leaving a “do not disturb” sign on the handle.

This curiosity peaks when you’re searching up some porn to get off to tonight. Despite your embarrassment, you look up people that look similar to your long term crush, Kurapika. He was just so pretty to you, after all, and you couldn’t get off if the person didn’t look like him :((

As you search one night, you come across an account with an awfully familiar username.

“Pika”

You stare at the name for a second, nearly laughing at yourself. “There’s no way, Kurapika would never-“

You click on the profile, and sure enough, from the lips down is YOUR Pika, sat shyly on his bed, jerking off.

He looked stiff, robotic almost. He couldn’t be enjoying himself, and you could see it in the uncomfortable grimace he was making.

The comments were telling him pretty much the same thing.

“Aww, come on pretty boy, give us a smile.”

“You look uncomfortable af”

You sigh, pulling your hands from your panties. Your poor, poor Pika. He had to be doing this for a reason, and it obviously wasn’t for his own pleasure.

You tiptoe to his room, thanking god that he had left his door unlocked. His back was turned from the door, and using In you were able to sneak up behind him.

“Pika, baby, let me help.”

He gasped when he felt your lips on his neck, the blondes face turning a dark shade of red. “(N-Name)!”

“I saw you were live. You know, if you asked I would have helped you out.”

He gasped when your hand wrapped around his length, thumb brushing against his tip. “Poor, poor Pika. Not used to jerking off, huh? Lemme help you feel good.”

The comments come pouring in, but neither of you cared. “Shh, just focus on how my hand feels, okay?”

He whimpered, and you kissed him, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth.

It didn’t take long for him to cum, painting his chest. You kissed his cheek, giggling at his spent expression.

You glanced at the comments, giggling.

“Oh god that was hot!”

“DOMINATE HIM!”

“I love blonde twinks”

“pretty cumshot 😩”

Kurapika cleared his throat, catching his breath. “Th-thank you all for coming.”

He ended the live stream, glancing back at you shyly. “I can explain.”

“You don’t have to, Pika. It’s none of my business what you do with your body.”

You kiss him again, this time the blonde realizes that you’re only wearing a pair on panties and a tanktop. His hands dip down to your waist. “I know, but I want to tell you.”

You sigh. “Sure, go ahead.”

As he shyly pulls down your panties, he continues. “Someone I’m trailing has… an interest in people that look like me.”

“Skinny, pale, blonde boys?”

Kurapika sighed at your words, pulling you into his lap. “Yes. And… I thought perhaps I could get closer to them through this… website.”

You hum, glancing back at his computer as you hover over his cock. “Why not livestream us having sex? That would get us a lot of views, possibly draw in the persons attention.”

He frowns. “I would prefer to keep love making with you intimate and in the bedroom…”

You cooed, kissing all over his face. “Aww, you’re such a cutie Pika. It’s just a suggestion, if you really don’t want to I understand.”

He held onto your hips, his cock twitching below you. “… if you think it’s a good idea, I won’t deny you.”

You laugh. “Alright. I’ll start the stream, okay?”

He nodded, barely holding himself back from pulling you onto his cock. The two of you had some sort of friends with benefits relationship that he wanted to take a step further, but was much too scared that you didn’t feel the same way he did.

“Hi everyone! As you can see, I’m about to get pounded by the lovely Pika!”

Kurapika turned red at your words, pulling you closer. “(Name)…”

He blinks, seeing the viewer count steadily rise. Kurapika does get a little pissed off at the comments, most of them talking about how much they wanted to fuck YOU.

“Ready, Pika?”

He growled, not giving you a second to think as he pushed your hips down. “Eep!”

Kurapika moved your hips up and down, moaning into your mouth. The chat was going WILD.

“YO don’t break her pussy bro 😭”

“twinks gone wild”

You gasp when you feel him pin you down onto the bed, glancing to the monitor to make sure you were still in view. Thankfully, Kurapika made sure neither of your faces would be visible, only your bodies.

“Love you… love you so so much…” he said as he pounded into your, occasionally dipping down to lock his lips with yours. You look up at him, face heating up.

“I-I love you too, Pika!”

Your words seem to affect him, making him go at an animalistic pace. Before long you can feel his cum filling you up, something he’d never done before. Kurapika had always pulled out, it was almost like he was telling you just how much he loved you by claiming your womb as his.

This continues for a while, Kurapika moving you into different positions, cooing soft praises into your ear and whispering ‘I love yous’.

Eventually the two of you collapse on the bed Kurapika reaching over to end the stream.

“Did… did you mean what you said earlier?”

He nods, pulling you into his chest. “Yes, every word.”

“Including the part where you were going to fuck me until I was pregnant?”

He stayed quiet, staring down at you with those pretty red eyes.

“Well… the thought of your stomach swelling with my seed, of you having my child…”

He kissed the top of your head. “It’s all I can think about.”

The two of you cuddle and fall asleep, forgetting about the whole reason you even started the stream earlier. Now, you were both ready to start a relationship, maybe even a family.

The next day, Kurapika is elated to see the person he’s tracking has followed his account.

“that livestream with the girl last night was hot! keep it up!”

‘It seems I’ll have to keep this up for a little while longer…’

If he kept streaming, maybe he could get closer to this person and get some valuable information…

He looks over to you, smiling as you make breakfast while he scrolls on his laptop.

“Angel, would you like to do another stream with me tonight?”

You turn, giving him a smile. “If it means I get to spend time with you, then yes!”

And he blushes, standing up to hug you from behind. “I love you…”

“I love you too!”

[bunnliix]

Can't Stay Away from You - Chapter Two

The outline for this chapter, was over 2000 words, so as you can see, I had ideas lol. We get a bit more attention on the boys this chapter, but we do see what's up with y/n as well! Honestly, this series seems to be longer chapters, so the updates will be slower for this story. But either way, I hope this is an enjoyable chapter two!

masterlist

word count: 5.7k

warnings: Angst, fluff eventually, protective members, scenting, scent highs, cute moments because yes we need it, multiple distressed and panicked people, crying, tears, I think that's it?

“Why did you ever think it was a good idea to give her, a random Stay, your number? What in the world compelled you to think it was a good idea?! She could have been a sasaeng for all we know, and you just gave her your number all willy nilly?!” Minho just about exploded on the pack alpha, criticizing his frankly stupid decision.

“You know very well that we’re all pulled to her for some reason. Hell, my alpha wanted to grab her, pull her into my arms, and scent her, right in front of every fan in that room. And I’m pretty fucking sure that everyone else felt something similar to that. So don’t you criticize me on this Minho. I thought about it before I gave her my number. I took a chance, wanting to get to know that girl who captivated even you. Don’t think I didn’t see you watching her after your turn, I saw it all.” Chan went after Minho, feeling enraged after hearing the man’s words.

By the end of his words, Chan was chest to chest with Minho, almost ready to fight with him. Minho is ready to fight his pack alpha, wanting to get it into his thick head how much he could have risked their pack’s safety over this. 

“Do you realize how badly this could have gone?! We’re lucky that she hasn’t yet done something. She could post your number out into the world for all we know. And yet you’re standing here, telling me it’s worth it because she interests you? I thought my pack leader, and the leader of my group, was more responsible than that.” Minho said, his words cutting like knives.

A noise at the door stopped their conversation, Minho moving to open the door, their two omegas falling onto the floor. The two of them looked sheepishly up at their alphas, knowing they were caught in the worst way. The two alphas weren’t impressed, as the omegas knew better than to eavesdrop, and they raised an eyebrow at the two until the apologies came rolling in. 

“And you two were listening in, why?” Chan questioned them, as they looked down at the floor.

“Jagiya dragged you in here, and we were curious why he needed to talk to you so urgently.” Han answered Chan, before looking up at him. “Do you really have y/n’s number??” He hurried to ask, even though it meant Minho gave him a look for asking at all.

“Yah! That’s what you gained from listening in? That Christopher has the girl’s number?” Minho scolded the younger man.

“Well, yeah. It means we can talk with her!” Jisung says, completely ignoring Minho’s growing glare.

“I am surrounded by fucking idiots I swear.” Minho comments, voice and face giving away just how done he was with the alpha and omega pair. 

Felix wisely stayed quiet, hoping that he’d be forgotten about. Unfortunately, that was not going to happen, as both alphas turned to him. 

“How much did you hear?” Chan asked.

“I heard everything.” Felix answered, hoping that the less he gave away, the better off he’d be. Once again, he was wrong.

“Where do you stand on this, then?” Minho queried.

“I can’t say that I’m not excited that Chan has y/n’s number, but also I can understand your concerns, Minho-hyung.” Felix explains, feeling torn between both sides. 

Chan smirked triumphantly, as Minho sighed. Why are his packmates like this? His own alpha told him that he’s the same way, that he’s being a hypocrite. He shut out his wolf, focusing back on the present situation. 

Since he didn’t get scolded for his words, Felix decided to be a bit cheeky. He teased Minho about his reaction to the girl, before getting stuck in a headlock by the alpha. 

“I’m not wrong!” He shouted out. Minho only growls in response.

This triggers Han to laugh, before running out of the room, calling out that the great alpha Minho was interested in y/n too, no matter what he said to oppose that thought. Said alpha let Felix go and ran after the other omega, intent on murdering him. 

“You little shit, get back here!” He screamed out at the rapper, chasing after him.

“I don’t think so!” Han called back, a cheeky smile plastered on his face. The other observed this chase and laughed at the two of them. This was prime entertainment, after all. Felix and Chan made their way out to the living room, where the majority of the pack had settled, watching the alpha omega pair race around the house in a very scooby doo sort of fashion. 

Eventually Jisung was cornered by the older alpha, and was swiftly pushed up against a wall. Minho attacked the omega’s scent gland, Jisung quickly went into a scent high, going limp in the alpha’s arms. Minho smirked victoriously, bringing the now quiet omega over to sit down on the couch, keeping him in his lap. Seungmin emerged from his room, the last member to join them all in the living room.

“Well, I guess we might as well have the pack meeting now.” Chan piped up, all attention turning to him. 

“What about?” Seungmin asked.

“About y/n.” Chan quickly replied, and that got everyone’s attention. The boys’ attention was solely focused on their pack alpha, well besides Jisung whose head was resting on Minho’s shoulder, the omega still a melted puddle.

The boys started to get louder, each discussing about y/n, before Chan shushed them all. 

“During the fanmeet, I gave y/n my number when signing her album. She messaged me while we were on the way back here. I confirmed it’s actually her, and I know that all of us were interested in her, I could tell by how none of you could shut up about her on the drive home.” He told them, and they all started clamoring for her number.

“Yah! Shut up!” Minho interjected, and they all quickly settled as none of them wanted to earn the man’s ire. 

Chan continued once the noise level had dropped, “My alpha also is attracted to her, at the fansign, it wanted me to pull her into my arms and scent her, everyone else be damned. I know Minho’s alpha was behaving similarly.”

Minho sighed as all attention was directed to him. “My alpha didn’t want to let her go. And wanted to take her and keep her in our nest. And he wouldn’t shut up about how pretty Felix and her would look together in our nest.” He spoke.

This admission from the dancer caused a round of teasing by the rest of the pack. They teased him and his alpha for wanting to essentially kidnap a fan because she was so pretty. Felix sat there blushing, the thought of y/n and him in a nest together painted a pretty picture in his mind, leaving him desiring for that to happen.

Fairly quickly afterwards, the remainder of the boys also speak up about their feelings, except for Han, but Felix shares the other omega’s feelings in his stead. They all found that if their wolves hadn’t outright talked about her, that they at least felt drawn or pulled to her. 

Changbin quickly brought the conversation back around to Chan having her number, which then brought back the clamoring by the others, bar Minho and Han, for their leader to pass on her number to them. Chan sternly told them that he would have to get her permission first before he would even think of handing out her number, which then spurs on calls for him to text her right then and there to ask, as well as a couple of pouts at Chan not immediately giving her number.

The leader sighed, before pulling his phone out and pulling up their texts. 

‘Hey there. So the others found out that I have your number, and they want it as well. I won’t pass it on to them unless I have your express permission to do so.’ He texted y/n.

It took a minute before she responded, and by the time she did, the boys had crowded around him and his phone. 

‘That’s fine! You can give it to them, I don’t mind.’ She replied to him.

“Oh! Ask her if we can have a group chat too!!” Hyunjin shouted out, making Changbin and Felix cover their ears.

‘And I have been asked to ask you if you’re okay with a group chat with the whole group.’ He passed on the question to her.

‘That’s okay with me as well. I assume it was Felix who wanted it? Or Han?’ She asked him.

‘Hyunjin, actually.’ He texted.

‘Ahhh, that would have been my third guess.’ She replied, and he laughed.

Hyunjin pouted, as did Felix, at being so predictable.

Chan quickly created a group chat, adding y/n to it last. As he predicted, the chat quickly fell into chaos. The boys all wanted her attention, and he had to step in to tell them to cool it, both by text and verbally. There were more pouts this time, the boys unhappy about being scolded. 

Since the industry has a habit of not disclosing the idol’s designations to fans since that incident at the fansign, and the pack of boys not knowing what y/n’s designation is, that’s the first thing after introductions to be discussed. Y/n is the first to spill, telling them that she is an omega, to which Felix chimed in as well. Though he already knew that, and was trying to cover up for the growing pool of guilt in his stomach at hiding it. Chan tells her that Han is the other omega of their group. Changbin, Hyunjin and Sungmin all tell her that they’re the betas, Seungmin noting afterwards that he’s the pack beta. This left Jeongin, Minho and Chan as the alphas, with Chan specifying that he’s the pack alpha. 

Y/n was thankful to know what each of the boys was, and now knows why she probably felt the most at ease with Chan, Han and Felix, with two of them being fellow omegas and one being a pack alpha. They start to discuss other topics, though the maknaes try to persuade her to reveal who her bias was, but she kept her mouth shut on that matter. They move on to getting to know her, 20 questions style but really, it was just them asking her questions instead of her asking them any questions.

During all of this, Chan notes that Felix is unusually quiet, which is odd because of how excited he was only five minutes prior. He’s usually the big texting person in the group, and yet he’s barely texting at all, just staring down at his phone. 

Felix is feeling the guilt settle in his chest, weighing him down almost. He can’t push himself to be part of the conversation, only staring down at his phone, slowly drifting away from reality. He can’t help but feel guilty, he ran away from her, and his omega had been berating him for his actions since then. He only jolted back into reality when Chan reached out to shake him, asking if he was okay. The freckled Aussie fakes a smile and tells his alpha that he’s fine. He knew he had to come clean, there was no other way around it. It wasn’t fair to keep her in the dark about this, but it also wouldn’t be fair to drop this over text.

Before he can regret it, he texted her in the group chat, ‘Are you free to call? There’s something you need to know.’ 

This set the pack into pandemonium, thinking that Felix was going to tell her about their feelings. Chan and Minho reach out for his phone, but the omega moves faster, moving out of everyone’s reach. 

A ding was heard as she replied, ‘I’m free right now, Felix. What’s up?’ 

Deciding to just call her instantly, to avoid himself backing out, and to keep the others away from him.

“Hey Felix, what’s up? What did you wanna talk about?” She asked him as soon as she picked up.

“I knew you were an omega.” He blurted out.

“How? You shouldn’t have been able to tell at the fansign, not with my scent covered.” She replied, confused at how he knew.

“I met you before the fansign, actually.” He admitted to her, and the others.

“I think I would have known if we met.” She started, before going silent.

“Y/n?” Felix tentatively called out to the omega over the phone.

“No, we couldn’t have. That was you?” He hears her say, both to him and to herself. 

“It was me. I’m sorry for what I did.” He told her.

“Felix-” She started, but he interrupted her.

“I’m sorry for bumping into you, and I’m so sorry that I ran away. My omega’s been berating me for it since I ran. I figured I’d never run into you again, but then you turned up at the fansign and when you didn’t recognize me, I thought that I just had to get through it and it would all be okay.” He apologized, and explained to the best of his ability.

His heart dropped as he heard a tiny gasp before a sob was heard from her side of the call. He hadn’t meant to make her cry, it was the last thing he had meant to happen. The others hear the sob and it’s enough to shock Han out of his scent high, his instincts on alert almost immediately.

“I didn’t say anything at the fansign because I didn’t think it was a good place to do so, nevermind the backlash that either of us may have faced. I had such a good time talking to you I swear. My omega’s honestly been yearning for you since yesterday, and I’m sorry I was cowardly and ran away. I was just so overwhelmed by everything I was feeling and my omega’s thoughts and urges and I couldn’t think of anything else to do but to run. I’m sorry y/n, for the hurt I caused you. I only hope you can forgive me.” He further explained, hoping that she would accept his apology, but know full well that she didn’t have to. Tears running out of his eyes by the end of his little speech. 

The rest of the pack could only watch on, concerned about both omega’s but unsure of whether to intervene at all. 

“Thank you for telling me, Felix. And thank you for apologizing. In the vein of being honest, after you ran, I went back to the hotel yesterday, because I had been overcome with a feeling of loneliness, and sadness. I made up a nest and after getting in it, I cried myself to sleep almost. My omega cried out for you, she was the most hurt by your actions.” Y/n admitted to not only Felix, but the rest of the boys unknowingly. 

Felix started sobbing, as did y/n. Both omega’s feeling great amounts of sadness, and each feeding off of the other’s emotions. Chan decided it was time to step in, pulling Felix in close and hugging the younger man, taking the phone from his hand and handing it off to Minho as the alpha stepped closer, Han by his side. The other omega wrapped his arms around Felix, providing further comfort.

“Y/n? This is Minho. Can I ask for more details?” The elder alpha asked the girl.

She explained from the beginning, going over the two omega’s first encounter, and ending it with what she had said before, about falling asleep in her nest due to her emotions overtaking her. She told him that she had no idea it was Felix, that for all she knew, it was just a random stranger who smelled amazing, but had just run out of the blue. 

As she continued to talk to Minho, her sentences eventually devolved into sobs and cries instead, fearing that she hurt Felix. Her sobs continued, worrying Minho that she’d start to hyperventilate and pass out because of it. He started to try and calm her over the phone, looking over to see that most of the group had crowded around Felix, trying to calm the omega down, though it wasn’t working. 

Y/n could barely hear Minho’s voice, her sobs having grown louder as she tugged at her shirt, whining and crying that she had made Felix upset. She hadn’t wanted to do that, and she wished she could take back what she said. She curled in on herself, her omega feeling as sad as she was, neither of them wanted this to happen. Her scent soured, smelling bitter now, instead of sweet like it normally did.

Minho called out to the omega, “Y/n? Can you hear me?” 

He only received a whine in reply, but it was better than nothing. 

“Omega, I need you to verbally answer me.” He told her, not wishing to call her that, but knowing it will help bring her back at least slightly.

“Can hear ya.” He heard her mumble.

“Good omega.” He praised her. “Thank you for answering me.”

He doesn’t think she’s going to fully calm down soon, and he’s worried about her dropping, so decided that he needed to go see her. He asked her where her hotel was, receiving the name of a hotel, which he was able to discover wasn’t far from their dorm. He told her to stay calm for him and to keep breathing. 

He caught Chan’s attention, the pack alpha motioning for him to come closer. 

“I’m going to see y/n, she’s in as much distress as he is right now. I’m worried she’ll pass out.” He says quietly, trying not to let the others hear, though his effort is for naught.

Felix and Hyunjin whined at what they overheard, the omega of the two freaking out further that the other omega was in distress because of him, enough so that she might pass out. Felix himself started to hyperventilate, worrying about y/n getting hurt while she’s all alone.

“Alpha, protect omega?” He managed to get out, directing it at Minho.

“We’re gonna protect you baby, don’t worry.” Chan reassured him.

“Not ‘mega, pretty ‘mega.” Tears welled up in Felix’s eyes as they weren’t understanding him. 

“I’m going to go help pretty ‘mega, okay kitten?” Minho said, running his hands through Felix’s hair, pushing his bangs back as he did so.

Felix nodded, before devolving into further worry, his omega taking over at that point. Tears were falling at a fast pace down the blue haired omega’s cheeks and his distressed scent almost made the others choke. Finally, to calm him down and having no other option, Chan scruffed the younger Aussie, causing him to go limp in the leader’s arms. Han grabs Seungmin, and the two start scenting their omega, trying to bring back that happy citrusy scent that they know and love.

Chan motions for Minho to go see y/n, or they’ll be dealing with a distressed omega all night.

“Go on, go see her. Take Hyunjin with you.” Chan ordered the two of them.

They quickly threw their shoes back on, taking the minimum they needed to get out the door. Hyunjin pulled his phone out, getting directions to her hotel. They hurried down the streets to her hotel, somewhat relieved that they made it there in under 20 minutes. 

They rushed into the hotel lobby, y/n having given her room number prior to them leaving the dorm thankfully. They pushed the button for her room, but of course they weren’t alone in the elevator, and it seemed that people had to stop and get out on every single floor. Finally they arrived on her floor, running down the hall to find her room, Hyunjin finding it first.

Minho knocked on the door gently, but loud enough that y/n could hear it. They heard noise from inside the room, before the door slowly opened. Y/n looked a mess, tear-stained cheeks and swollen red eyes from crying. She was still having trouble regulating her breathing, her breath hitching and shaking as she looked up at them. 

“Hi.” She said, barely louder than a whisper. 

Minho, on pure instinct, picked her up and carried her in his arms, one hand pushing her head into his neck and scent gland, letting her scent him if she wanted to. He brought her to her nest in the bed, laying her in it as he stayed outside of it. He looked at her for permission to enter her nest, and she quickly granted it. He crawled into bed almost instantaneously, pulling the omega into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. He rocked her back and forth, letting her scent him as much as she needed. Minho was just there to comfort her without judgment, as she cried into his shoulder. He softly cooed and whispered comforting words to her, telling her that Felix was fine, that the others were with him and that he would be fine, just as she would be fine.

Hyunjin was waiting outside the nest, knowing better than to climb inside without the omega’s permission. At that point, y/n had calmed down quite a bit, and had taken to scenting Minho, which Hyunjin knew the alpha would never let strangers do. Yet here he was, allowing her to do what she needed for comfort. It really did prove that connection they all felt, that the older alpha willingly left Felix in distress to come and see y/n, and even was acting on instinct to calm an omega he had only met briefly hours earlier. 

Minho caught y/n’s attention, pointing to the beta who was waiting. She immediately made grabby hands for the tall dancer, who smiled as he climbed into the nest.

“Hello little omega.” He cooed in greeting, getting a smile and a blush in response.

“Hiii beta.” She said, before hiding her face in Minho’s shoulder, to which the two men chuckled. 

Hyunjin moved close to her, rubbing her back softly. Her scent was still soured, which worried the two of them. It meant that she still hadn’t fully come back from her distress, or was hiding how bad it was. Except for the fact that scents never lied, so the two of them changed positions, laying down in the nest on their sides facing each other, with y/n in the middle of them. They took turns scenting her and trying to get her scent to brighten up. 

“It’s okay, omega. Everyone’s okay, no one’s upset or mad, you’ve done nothing wrong. Your feelings are valid, and we can talk everything out with Felix later, okay? But we need you to feel better first. We can’t have a sad omega, hmm?” Minho continued to reassure her, telling her that Felix would be distressed to see her like this.

Sometime after they arrived, y/n’s scent finally started to smell better, sweeter. Hyunjin’s beta and Minho’s alpha can’t get enough of her scent, the sweet honey and vanilla was so delicious. The boys felt the same way, the two of them chuffing in happiness. This was all strangely intimate for three people who had only met hours earlier, but there was a sense of rightness as they all laid together. It felt like this is what they should be doing, like they were just laying with another one of their packmates, not an omega they had met that day. 

Y/n’s omega was purring in happiness at being in between the alpha and beta. Her omega was loving this, even if it only happened because of a bad situation. The happier she gets, the more delectable her scent gets, and soon enough, the boys can’t help themselves. The two of them descend on her scent glands, attacking them in order to get more of that pretty scent to come out and their wolves want to smell like her, want her pretty omega scent all over them, as a claim of sorts. This attack almost causes y/n to go into a scent high, thankfully for her, they get interrupted before that happens.

Minho picked up her phone to see Chan calling her. He answered, “Hello Channie alpha.” 

“Hello Minho. How is y/n doing? Is she feeling better? I tried to get a hold of both of you, but neither you nor Hyunjin answered.” Chan questioned him, concerned. 

“We’ve taken good care of her, she’s feeling better now.” Minho replied.

“Y/n’s okay? She’s really okay?” Felix’s voice comes through the phone.

Y/n took this as her time to speak up. “I’m okay, Felix. I promise. Are you okay too, sunshine?” She turned the questions back on him.

“I’m okay, I promise!” He told her, wanting her to not be concerned about him.

The two omegas started chatting on other topics, but before long, Chan interrupted them and told them to save the conversation for another time. They both pouted, the respective boys on either side chuckling at their expressions. 

“Minho, Hyunjin, what are your plans now? Are you returning to the dorm now?” He broached the topic of what they would do, now that y/n’s been calmed down.

Hyunjin speaks up first, “Can we bring her back with us? Don’t want to leave her here alone.” Minho hummed in agreement.

Their wolves were insistent on not leaving her here by herself. What if she got distressed again, and they weren’t here to soothe her? That couldn’t be allowed. 

“We want her to come back with us. Omega shouldn’t be left alone.” Minho affirmed Hyunjin’s words. 

The use of omega tipped off Chan that Minho was not fully in control at the moment. That made him concerned, and their insistence really shocked the others, not expecting them to want to bring her back. 

Well, everyone except for Han, he wasn’t shocked that they were behaving like this. Han knew that there was something about her that pulled them in, and he was fully on board with her coming to their dorm. If Minho’s alpha was that protective over her, he knew that she was safe to be around. The man’s alpha is protective over his pack, and he’d never let anyone in that he deemed a threat. Plus, his alpha was right, when he said she’d look cute in their nest. He wanted that too, wanted her and Felix in the nest. She’d be their little omega, that they’d keep safe, and by Felix’s concern, he thought the same. 

“I want her here. Minho-jagi, bring her please.” The quokka-cheeked man spoke up, to everyone’s surprise. Thankfully, no one protested it, and Chan gave in, saying she could come and stay the night, to a round of cheers.

Chan sighed, before calling out to y/n, asking her, “Y/n, do you want to come here and stay with us for the night? You can say no, and I will come and get the boys. But you are welcome here if you want that.”

Y/n nodded, forgetting that Chan couldn’t see her nod. 

Minho caught her attention, “Omega, we need a verbal answer.”

She blushes in embarrassment, “I’d like that.” 

Honestly, she’s still in shock about it all, from getting Chan’s number to now laying here in between two-thirds of Danceracha, and she’s about to go back with them to their dorm. What is this life she’s living right now?

Her omega was thinking about getting to smell Felix’s sweet citrusy smell again. Plus the floral scents coming from Hyunjin, and what she could only think of as a clean laundry scent from Minho. Her omega is increasingly pleased with her situation, knowing that she wanted these boys as her pack, even if y/n hadn’t gotten to that point yet.

After confirming that they’d be heading back to the dorm soon with y/n in tow, Chan hung up. Hyunjin jumped into action, finding a bag of hers, and then heading into her bathroom to collect anything from there that she might need for the night. He found a bag for her hygiene and makeup items in the bathroom, and filled that up, before placing it in the large bag he found. He then moved out back into the main room, looking up at her and asking what he needed to pack for her.

Minho sat the two of them up as she directed him on what to pack, and Hyunjin dutifully followed her orders. Once he had everything, he brought the bag over for her to double check, looking happy once she approved, glad to be of service to the omega. Minho looked at him, pride in his eyes as he looked at the beta, a silent ‘good job’ mouthed to the younger dancer.

Leaving the bag on the bed, he went to find her shoes, as Minho moved them closer to the edge of the nest and bed. Hyunjin came back with her sneakers, and knelt down in front of her. He carefully put her shoes on her feet, the omega looking down at him with slight wonder in her eyes at how sweet the two of them were being. Once he had finished lacing up her shoes, he stood up and stepped back, grabbing her overnight bag in the process.

Minho moved her off his lap, before he slid off of the bed, immediately turning around to reach his hands out for her. She took them, and he helped her slide off the bed as well, landing softly on the ground, as if she was farther off the ground than the couple inches between her feet and the bed. Hyunjin hurried back over to the door, grabbing her coat off the hanger, and helping her into it. The two idols donned masks, and handed her one as well that they nicked on their way out as an extra for themselves. She put it on to conceal her face. They left the hotel room, but not before making sure y/n had the keys to her room.

They quickly rode back down the elevator and left the hotel, starting their journey back home. They two men knew where they were going, and each of them holding her hand, they led her down the streets until they approached the building their dorm was in. Heading up the lift to their floor, the doors opened and they hurried to their apartment. They arrived at the boys’ dorm, but before they could open the door, it opened for them, an excited Han on the other side. 

“You’re here! Come in come in!” He nearly shouted, causing the others to come rushing to the entryway as well, Chan and Felix pushing their way to the front. The two Aussie’s kept everyone back so that the three of them could enter the apartment. The boys took off their shoes, as y/n followed them in doing so. 

Once everyone’s shoes were off, Minho grabbed y/n’s hand and pulled her with him to the living room. He sat down on one of the couches, pulling her down next to him. Felix claimed the spot on her other side, as Han pouted, before he sat down in front of her. That didn’t stop him from complaining about how unfair it was, to the others’ amusement. 

They all started chatting, in an effort to make y’n feel more comfortable in their presence. It worked, to their delight, and she quickly loosened up and joined the conversations. They talked about anything and everything, though the older boys had a lot of fun telling her embarrassing stories about the younger four boys, who retaliated by telling her the same kinds of stories about their elders. This caused her to laugh until her sides hurt, before chiming in with a couple stories of her own. 

Eventually, more yawns than words were coming out of y/n’s mouth, and the eldest two took this as a sign that the small omega needed sleep. 

“I think it’s time for some sleep, yeah?” Chan said as he came up to her, Han had moved out of the way so he could get closer. 

Y/n nodded sleepily, having a harder time keeping herself upright. Chan, after getting verbal confirmation that it was okay to pick her up, did so, before taking her to their pack nest, and laying her in the middle of it. The two omegas hopped in after her, softly talking with her and removing anything on her person that might make sleeping hard. Once they were finished, and moved anything out of the nest, they settled in on either side of her, keeping her between them. 

The three betas climbed into the nest next, Hyunjin on the other side of Felix, while Changbin and Seungmin stayed on Han’s side of the nest. Jeongin slipped in behind Seungmin with Chan capping off that side of the nest, as Minho slid in behind Hyunjin, reaching over him to feel Felix and y/n as much as he could. 

With how many happy and content scents there were surrounding the omegas, it didn’t take long before the three were out cold. The three betas quickly followed, Changbin being the last of the three to fall asleep, watching the younger ones succumb to sleep first before he could. Minho was next, looking at Chan before nuzzling into Hyunjin’s neck and peacefully falling into the hands of sleep, and Chan took one more look around, his alpha being the happiest at seeing all of them safe here in the nest, before he too slipped into dreamland. The dorms were finally quiet, and the nine of them were safe in the nest, where they couldn’t be harmed.

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Taglist is: open!

[toffeebrews]

tell me your Ink headcanons NOW 😼😼😼

You're... giving me permission.... to share my ink headcanons.

well get ready

Talked about this one already but I'll share it again: I think Broomie is semi sentient. I like to think at first Ink didn't know that though, but still talked to broomie anyway. So, regardless of this fact Ink probably would've talked to broomie.

He's good at encouraging people but not comforting people. If that makes sense? (projection much pfttt)

If you ran your hand over the "tattoo" marks it have a slight divot in it. Like a crack in a road. Probably because... in my hc they're literally semi healed cracks.

They're is talented in many types of art not just one. Hes talented in singing, dancing, fashion design, mechanics, and architecture! Really the only one he struggles with is well... cooking. Do NOT let that man in a kitchen (I mean he's immortal why would he not learn multiple artistic skills?)

Y'know how canon!swap climbs on people because hes insecure about his height? I think Ink does the same thing.

(More yappening under the cut)

Deep down he feels like something is missing... what he doesn't know is he's missing his home, his AU. Sometimes hes goes on a search universe to universe in search of "something important he can't remember" but can never find it. Until he gets bored, forgets what he's doing or gets preoccupied with something else.

He likes switching up his looks so he may give himself a tail or paws or claws with his brush. Maybe he even changes the color of his limbs sometimes (that's more a crack hc though). He gives themself a new outfit at any chance he can get. (Edit: I actually imagine one of the reasons he would get excited for multiverseal events is mainly because he gets to show off a new outfit for that event. He goes ALL out)

Due to his dulled sense of pain often he isn't aware he's injured unless it's pretty severe. So he may just go about their day with injuries they don't know about. Typically Dream or Swap have to be like "dude you have a crack in your skull."

After that one comic with Swap and Ink, Swap bandaged up his skull despite Ink insisting he didn't need it. Mainly because Swap didn't know Ink could heal themself and just thought Ink was being humble. Everytime he went to go take it off, Swap would freak about it hasn't had enough time to heal. Until Ink did a more through "I have a brush bro chill" (not ink accurate dialogue).

He's super flexible!! like contortionist level of flexibility.

Oddly specific but I think they're the type to consume all sorts of fan content and enjoy it. Completely ooc and fanon stuff too. He would be the type to read a fic and go "I would NOT say that" with a giggle and write a heartfelt comment anyway.

If you know homestuck... Nepeta has a shipping wall. I think Ink would have something similar (projection?? blasphemy!). Maybe in his sketchbook or smth. I mean do you see how he reacts around his dads smh 😔😮‍💨. He doesn't take it all that seriously though... LMAO. But I feel like he would be like "🏳️‍🌈?" y'know? Is this making any sense? I hope LMAOOO

Ink knows being called "child" annoys Dream so when Dream's like "I'm not a child I'm 500 years old" he just uses different synonyms of kid " heya youngster" " hi boy" stuff like that to annoy him. Just to mess with him.

He loves "aggressive affection." Like he bites people. He also likes to be bitten (not in a sus way but like in a cat like way). He loves bear hugs. Stuff like that.

He loves being drawn on, like literally. He loves the sensation of art supplies on his bones. Particularly the texture of paint and pencil are the ones he enjoys the most. He draws designs and stuff on his bones sometimes.

He has that cartoon ability to walk on walls or the ceiling and completely defy gravity. How? Cartoon skelly powers ig.

[shellforbrains]

okay, strap in, here we go.

i think i & a lot of other people went into Apology Tour expecting Stolas to be at different point in his character development then he actually is. but that development is definitely still coming!

a deep dive into where Stolas currently is at character wise with insights from my own personal life experience.

in this deep dive into where he currently is, i want to use what i personally have experienced & witnessed in my own life as a guide. bc if i'm being honest, after i had time to mull it over, looking at Stolas in this episode was both like looking in a mirror & also like looking at some of my own family members who i have tried to correct on their own microaggresions in the past.

now i want to preface this by saying that i am white. i will not be speaking on this from the perspective of a POC. i am speaking on this from the perspective of someone who has had to go on a similar (but obvs not as extreme) journey that Stolas is on, and as someone who has seen people i love vehemently deny their problematic actions when i have tried to tell them how harmful they are & how hard it is to actually argue with them about it.

and i'd also like to add that i am not trying to shit on Stolas with this & say that Blitzø did nothing wrong in their arrangement ever or in Apology Tour. Blitzø is also on a character arc of his own & growing as a character.

both he AND Stolas continued to suck at communicating this episode, & it wasn't anyone's sole fault there. i'm focusing less on their conflict (though of course i will make reference to it) & more focusing on where Stolas currently is in his journey & how him acting the way he does in AT is... not far off from reality, honestly.

even if it's painful to watch at times, i do have to commend the writing there haha. bc it's pretty fuckin' spot on.

okay with all that out of the way, let's get our hands dirty:

the description of the episode itself confirms that Stolas is "still not quite being self-aware enough at times" & boy did they hit the nail on the head here lmao.

i think most people will agree that Stolas still has a LOT to learn about the race/class difference & the power imbalance between he & Blitzø, but even still, some were expecting better out of him in AT than what we got. myself included.

but let's look at FM from his perspective:

he's off his meds & obviously went into that night with a very black & white view of the possible outcomes: either Blitzø returns his feelings & they'll be dating by the end of the night, or he's been keeping Blitzø against his will & is a monster. no room for shades of grey.

and when Blitzø (understandably for multiple reasons) mistakes this basically out of nowhere declaration of feelings as a form of rp, Stolas (very understandably) gets his feelings hurt. he shuts down & stonewalls.

he doesn't see any shades of grey when Blitzø chases after him, says he needs a minute to think, makes reference to his feelings being played with, or the fact that, while aggressive, Blitzø was trying to talk things out with him. Stolas only hears the yelling and (again, understandably) gets triggered.

ALONG WITH, it seems, only hearing the "everything you've put me through, you rich, privileged asshole" comment & the "treat me like one of your butler imps" comment. which, if i'm being honest, i think ALSO really hurt his feelings, based on how he ends up acting the next day in AT.

here's where my personal experience comes in, so let's tldr my story real fast:

i was raised in a fairly privileged position & was basically brainwashed into far right ideology from a young age at the private school i attended. trust me, i went on a WILDASS journey to unlearn some of the craziest & most vile shit that had been hammered into my head since i was a little tiny child. it's a tough journey, too, that's filled with a lot of ups & downs.

part of what makes Stolas such a special character to me is seeing that journey reflected on screen with the good, the bad, & the ugly. which is also why i get very frustrated with fans that want to ignore the bad & the ugly parts of Stolas' character & journey.

bc, yes, while he is a fictional character, it is always important to hold oneself accountable. even though i am a completely changed person from who i was all those years ago, i know that even at 33 there are probably things i still need to unlearn that i just haven't stumbled upon to challenge me yet.

the journey that Stolas is on is not a single switch flip or a short, easy one. nor should it be treated as one. however, i think it's important to dive into these things and see where it's coming from, even if it shines light on the bad & the ugly in a way that some people may not like.

now with my personal experience in mind, & how Full Moon went from Stolas' perspective, let's finally address that painful exchange that happens the morning after Full Moon.

emotions are still high, neither of them has had time to really process, Stolas is still very deep in his own feefees, and those feefees are HURT.

Blitzø, in his mind, has rejected a relationship with him. as well as accused him of being a racist/classist, something that Stolas does NOT see himself as. and, like ANY privileged person mostly oblivious to their own behavior, he gets his feefees hurt over this as well as getting very defensive about it.

while the bar is quite literally in hell, Stolas DOES treat imps... better than other Goetia. that doesn't mean he treats them WELL, bc he DOESN'T, but to Stolas himself, he sees other goetia carry imps around in purses like animals or throw them around like objects like Stella did. in his mind, he's treating imps very well! so he must think, "so why would Blitzø or that Stiker guy even say anything like that?! that's ridiculous & hurtful!"

enter stage left Blitzø, who starts off with his typical sexy talk which then turns into needling/arguing. (once again, oof. they both continue to suck at communicating this ep so hard.)

and when this exchange happens, it is... it is so quintessential oblivious privileged person getting defensive.

"i'm not racist/classist! when have i EVER done something like that? you talk just like those people that hate all white/rich people!"

i have literally heard basically those exact words, and ones similar to what Stolas says later, from family that i have tried to point out microaggresions to before.

microaggresions are called microaggresions for a reason & are obviously not considered the same as the more outwardly hateful shit for a reason. they are harder for people to realize that they are doing/participating in and therefore very easy to get their feefees hurt over & defensive about.

bc the ppl committing microaggresions hear the big, ""scary"" words like "racism" or "classism" & think of the most extreme examples, not the ""mundane"" shit that THEY do. so if someone says they're being racist/classist, they think they're being accused of the extreme shit & think people are being absolutely ridiculous.

bc OBVIOUSLY Stolas isn't carrying an imp around in a purse or yeeting them like Stella does so what's the big deal, right? /s

moving forward in their exchange, we come to these lines. and here's where, if i haven't ruffled feathers already, i'm probably going to ruffle them now.

by saying this, Stolas DOES make a point but also... DOESN'T at the same time, ending up only reinforcing his own ignorance & lack of self-awareness. but before anyone starts furiously typing to me, let me explain.

Blitzø DOES need to hear this to begin to understand how Stolas has been making attempts & does care in his own way, just like how Blitzø also needed to hear what Fizz said in Oops for the same reason.

HOWEVER, just like how Fizz said what he said in Oops without full context of the arrangement that Blitzø & Stolas had, Stolas says what he says here without the full context of his actions & how they actually read to Blitzø, especially in the context of the deal they had.

he is genuine about his attempt to make Blitzø understand he cares, but just like before, this is ALSO quintessential privileged person being defensive.

"if i were racist/classist why would i want to date a POC/a poor person? if i were racist/classist why would i want to be seen with a POC/a poor person? if i were racist/classist why would i want to spend time with a POC/a poor person or support them?"

yes, Stolas cares about Blitzø. but this is called being seen as an Exception or One Of The Good Ones. Stolas doesn't look down on Blitzø as much as he does other imps, but that doesn't make Blitzø feel any better. and even still, while Blitzø is the Exception, it still doesn't mean that he isn't still looked down on or been the victim of microaggresions from Stolas.

and honestly, some of the talk i've seen these past few days around the fandom regarding this has been... very fucking exhausting.

yes, i more than anyone understand that Stolas is not self-aware enough to fully realize his own behaviors yet. but everyone seems to be putting this entirely on Blitzø's shoulders to fix & educate Stolas on this despite the fact that Blitzø is also hurting & neck deep in his emotions as well.

Stolas gets a pass for being ignorant & uneducated & neck deep in his feelings but Blitzø is apparently supposed to be able to articulate perfectly to Stolas every microaggresion he's suffered & be able to sit him down & give him a lecture on Hell's Racism & Classism.

just like how it is not the job of POC to educate white people, or any other underprivileged group to educate a privileged one, it is NOT entirely on Blitzø's shoulders to educate Stolas.

Stolas is approx. 36 years old & has a smartphone. Google (or i guess it's gaggle in hell) exists & Stolas shows later on in AT that he DOES indeed have tiny blips of self-awareness, little nagging feelings that he's missing something.

yes, it would definitely HELP to have Blitzø explain his own perspective to Stolas, as i'm sure Stolas would be willing to listen if Blitzø can find a way to properly elaborate. and i do think Blitzø WILL at some point in the future do that!

BUT. confronting or educating loved ones is SO much harder than anyone else. i think part of the reason WHY Blitzø has a hard time saying specifics to Stolas (besides his own self-hatred & communication issues) is BECAUSE he cares about him so much.

it was not easy at ALL for me to try to confront loved ones in my life about their behavior, & being met with the defensive reactions only made it more painful on top of that. it is not uncommon at all for ppl to let a privileged loved one get away with things that they would NEVER let someone else get away with.

this leads into where i basically want to say... if you're having any worry or doubts about Stolas' character arc right now, don't worry. we've gotten some pretty clear signs from AT that there's still plenty to be addressed on Stolas' side & that it WILL be coming.

he simply is just not as far along in the journey as some of us thought he was, & that's okay. he'll get there, even if it is painful right now.

personally, my biggest theory on HOW he'll get there is the whole "Stolas is stripped of his title & everything he owns" theory that's been circulating around the fandom. something that drastic happening to him, leaving him with nothing, & forcing him to see what Hell is actually like for the lower class outside of his gilded cage would be one hell of a wake up call for him.

but even if that theory isn't correct, i still believe that it will not just be solely Blitzø or others around him showing Stolas the error of his ways.

i am of the opinion that something drastic will happen that will also help shift his view much more into focus & make him even more receptive to what he's being told about the racism & classism of Hell.

bc oftentimes, it DOES take something drastic in a journey like this one to actually light a fire under one's ass. what that will be for Stolas...? well, i guess we'll just have to wait & see!

[accio-victuuri]

CPN Round Up : Sugar Rush 2023 Part One 🍭🍬

It’s that time of the year again where i attempt to recap all the sweetness we got from the past 6 months. I may not be able to add every single incident/speculation but i did include the ones that were most talked about, and added some cpn “archaeology” here and there too. most of the links contain multiple cpn, especially since i made a couple of mini round ups for certain time frames or events.

this is also the best time to look back on all the fun we’ve had as a fandom and how the boys give us happiness. i hope this remains the same in the next half of the year and that we continue to support them both. 🫶🏼

past sugar rush posts for reference: 2021 ( one two ) & 2022 ( one two ) ; anything before that is mostly likely archived on my masterlist.

JANUARY 2023

• XZS Vlog Number 3 clues

• NYE CPN things ✨

• Paper Planes again

• A CPN Timeline of how LTS stage was made

• KXZ’s sus greeting and rainbow light show for ZZ’s anniversary with them

• 1/5/2022 tarot card reading of XZ & WYB that made the turtles lose it

• Rainbow Thrasher shirt 🌈

• BLACK PAIRING. 🖤 and the fact that Yibo was doing the same pose as LWJ, keeping his hand behind. the actual performance of yibo also gave way to lots of fanarts of this pairing! they look so good together!

• fake bits & pieces ( additional 45 fake rumors )

• their studios posting on the same day, 1/12 and the similarity of teasing that content will be released in parts

we also see more similarities in the drawings:

The appearance of 🦴 necklace at all the studio rehearsals and even the final one makes me somft. He had to remove it for the stage cause he is meant to be bare. I don’t advertise people to treat this necklace as the indicator of their relationship, but i will be lying if i say i’m not happy seeing it. especially if it’s out there, that he can show it off and not have to hide it.

• XZ & WYB mentioned together three times in one day - 1/14/2023

• YBO’s comment on snow

• 1/17 random cpns = the same trousers again ; 330,000 tickets, bg color of studio posts and YBO’s continuing comments about the weather in the city they are in.

• Bouboo replies to a fan with “DAYTOY” on their username

• CPN @ Xiao Zhan’s lunar new year photos and douyin posts

• XZ’s lunar new year post looks like a movie ticket stub. What a coincidence cause Hidden Blade is also premiering that day ☺️ there was also a cinema that showed XZ’s GUCCI Ad before the show started. Lol. and at the Shanghai Roadshow for Hidden Blade, lots of BXG dolls on in the group photo were captured.

• Hidden Blade Guangzhou roadshow : mention kneepads and looking at dandan doll / yibo asking someone with a suo-er doll and him holding a bjd of himself.

• LRLG contribution 1/23/2023

• XZ’s colleague in ADLAD + Zack ( photographer ) talking about watching Hidden Blade

• 7th day of the Lunar New Year CPN + another xzs and ybo similarity

I don’t usually go for kadians but yibo-official using 13 = yizhan makes me ☺️ ; also the similarity in how they caption posts again. on the same day. yes it’s not an obscure thing to include on a post that is made on the 7th day of the Lunar New Year. Wishing people good luck on a new beginning and all that. but it’s the countless similarities in how their studios do things. they have the same taste? their employees are dating? who knows.

• GG at Sunshine With Me shooting, looking so much like Yibo:

FEBRUARY 2023

• Huang Ziteng posted about watching Hidden Blade and the schedule of the film is coincidentally 10:05

• Yibo shares a post about the snowboards given to him by Su Yiming + sweater paws shadow

• Top comment on Yibo’s 2/2 weibo post is a cpf and similarity with GG using a doge emoji when trying to be humble

• YBO posts about a 🍉 video being fake and it looks the same as xz clarification account. !!!!

• Fandom stories that have been on my mind recently. ( includes cpn on wyb kissing xz backstage of SDC and the 232323 kadian which is “new” for this month. ) old ones mentioned : wyb’s side accounts, a bxg story, changsha home and same day tests.

• 2/4/23 Fake Rumor House contribution

• People in the industry supporting (?) them : GQ photographer is a turtles, Yixuan replies to a fan with daytoy on their username, sungjoo using xz’s cover song as bgm for his douyin post back in 2019 + Yubin doing an unboxing of DVD and praising a spread with zz/wyb on it.

• YBO asks to show off glutinous rice balls and XZ responds ☺️

• Night Light fake rumor & same sun emoji

• Candy compilation from Sunshine By My Side filming wrap up

• Fake Story : riding a bike at night / AI art

• LOYIBOARD 🛹

• On 2/12, Yibo posted a douyin, a stock video where you can clearly see what jacket he is wearing. BXGs noticed that it said “milano” and thought it may be a clue that GG will go to Milan Fashion Week. more explanation here.

• Both boys have been quiet and not “seen” for the better part of Feb, even 2/14 was especially quiet for them online. Yibo-official did post their candid compilation of Hidden Blade behind the scenes but it’s connected to promotions and not exactly for valentines day. It’s a common CPN speculation that when they are together, they get very quiet online and no paparazzi can take their photos. tho I have to say, 2/14 is not that important to them like 520 is. and then come 2/17, it’s interesting how you get to see them. let me rephrase that, they allowed us to see them. xz going to eat a meal with his assistant and wyb filming his drama. i’ve always been a believer that somehow, they can control when people will see them in public. they can be on ninja mode when they want to, especially xz.

the next day which happens to be 2/18/23 Ai Bo Ai Zhan Day, yibo shows up @ Shanghai airport at 6:30 in the morning. knowing that he finished filming past 10:00 PM, dressed in skinny jeans and looking so stylish. which is not his usual airport fashion these days. he will be in beijing for a couple of hours ( no one really knows for what ) and returned to SH the same day @ 5PM. turtles hope they saw each other atleast. Bobo really chooses the early flight so he can be with ZZ longer. ☺️☺️☺️

• Lost General Jewelry

• Chengyi comic about ZZ cutting his hair before going off to see WYB

• Them looking so similar with these photos, GG’s is from his 2/22 Milan flight. The same hair. looking like twins. Also, one of ZZ’s photos had that BOarding design & photo. Yes I know it fits the whole theme of the pictures but still, turtles’ DNA was moved. Lol.

• Using the same security personnel @ PEK?

• ZZ was spotted buying LEGO

• The similarity in their photo composition

• ZZ created an instagram account and his username has similarities to Yibo’s. Again. Same brain cell.

• 2/24 Fashion Show appearance minor candies

• Zhan-ge saw the balloons coded with all the colors! BXGs! ❤️💛💚 @ Tod’s Milan fashion show venue entrance

• This one is hilarious, Bobi in Milan? @ Tod’s store visit 😂

• cpn on yibo-official being quiet during MFW

• a possible connection to yibo’s CCTV performance to ZZ’s suzhou embroidery gift

MARCH 2023

• GUCCI infinite possibilities meaning, ZZ’s veteran cadres style and same emoji

• XZS Chapter 5 vlog candies

• giving thoughtful gifts

• Weibo night account posts a recommendation photoset for person of the year and they put their photos right next to each other. 🤍

• we hear “ i love you” in XZS vlog chapter 5

• Bottled joy campaign/s cpn

• Web’s 3/8/23 instagram post

• A really CPN-y instagram data. HAHAHAHAHA!

• wooyoungmi brand revisited

• Liu Daichu says WYB & XZ are hard to shoot - not so much cpn cause this is really unfortunate that they have to deal with bs like this. however it goes to show how they deal with their fame is becoming more and more similar and they apply the same security for themselves.

• 3/11 zsww rumor house

• more cpn from 2017

• yibo-official related candies

• xiao zhan as a distraction

• similar looking shirt. lol. Yibo, did you borrow this from zhan ge???

• yibo knitting sort of confirmed

• gg’s infinity ring ♾️

• LRLG 3/24/2023 contribution

• Same hotel in Shanghai rumor

• the weibo night 22’ seating arrangement. so near yet so far.

• Weibo Night 22’ candy round up

• XZS posting 8 photos, XZ re posting ads at 10:18 and his missing post-show selfie

• Tencent Video weibo account unintentionally matching XZ/WYB

• Weibo night 22’ exclusive interview sweet bits 💕

• WYB looking at ZZ’s direction 👀

• New Wuji recording easter egg : play with the cat

• 3/29 XZS vlog candies

APRIL 2023

• Esquire Magazine Parallels / CPN

• A new CQL bts photo 😘😘😘

• Colosseum parallels

• Peninsula iron box BGM

• Another example of XZ missing the 10:10 posting time to give way for WYB’s repost of BTF trailer.

• THEM in white shirt and soft cardigan. I love it when they put on the same/similar style!

• not really cpn but an example of a brand using art made by a cpf

• one & only’s release is 7/28 which aligns to double airport 1.0 / bazaar shoot & yizhan ttxs episode

• same city ( shanghai ) 4/11

• red string bracelet of lei yu appears again

• “matching” post for china television arts committee

• boys in esspensive cardigans! 💕

• 2019 kangol bucket hat coincidence

• chengyi comic - kumquat lemon tea 🍋

• zenith pilot series ✈️

• yibo-ge x xiao-ge 👀

• matching shiatzy chen black and white outfit

• LRLG connection to BTF accidental rollover, Anessa livestream sweets, JD mascot heart with a mole and Fake story ( magic wand and minions )

• them going on HS together @ 4/23 & wyb shut up hs + minor candies ( esquire coincidence, #5 seat, bone necklace, kids lovin them )

• 4/25 candy post

• 4/26 yibo official post with 13 photos and heart with a (.)

• same way of tying their shoelace means they are in the same city or together

• ZZ’s GUCCI Cosmos event CPN

• Fake rumor of what happened in Shanghai when they met ( 4/26 )

• the word “wyb” heard in xzs vlog

• same ip address of shanghai even if XZ was in Xi’An. Fans are saying, WYB might have logged on using a different phone number ( GG’s account ) and that’s how it changed. Because if this was a staff, most of them are in Xi’An or in their Beijing office.

MAY 2023

• May Day Candies - ( ZZ’s off white pants, rumor 1 : learning how to cook and zz giving wyb a rabbit charm rumor 2: couple jackets, in the same magazine, heart with a mole again on ybo

• pickle side dish, bruce lee and btf people supporting adlad ♥️

• number 5 seat on zz’s post, yibo and his pots & pans + the story of plane models

• XZ cues Wei Ruolai and WYB “dreams” hoodie

• THEM LOOKING SO MUCH LIKE EACH OTHER 😂😂😂😂

• Friday clowning - ( includes : ADLAD castmate posts cpf photos, same line in GG’s note & LRLG post script, Ryukakusen & XZS/YBO same symbols )

• Sunday candies 🫶🏼 WYB’s departure to LA & Xiao Zhan’s Molsion photos + use of captions

• Clean Eyes song and XX symbol ( XZS molsion live event behind the scenes )

• Bag/Phonecase WYB bought @ LA

• Chanel Cruise CPN photo parallels

• Yibo’s instagram photo reel & story

• The CPN about matching phone case went on HS

• XZS & YBO split photo similarity 📷

• Ace Troops cake CPN, Molsion offline event launch clues & sunset

• The fact that when they started being in the same city again, Yibo couldn’t stay away from Beijing. He had work with EVISU, so he left Beijing in the evening of 5/15, went to Shenzhen / Zhuhai. Then 5/16, did his business and went back to Beijing in the evening. He really organizes his schedule so he doesn’t have to be away from BJ that much. They will be in the same city till XZ leaves for Condor Heroes workshop & Shooting in Hengdian 🥹

Also his EVISU car has 1991 on it. Yes 91 was when the brand was established but please let me clown on this. lol.

• 85 is also Z28 design

• XZS posts a photo that shows his phonecase even after the HS and then on 520, HZT, the actor who plays Lan Qiren posts a very suspicious douyin video related to it.  

• 520/521 ZSWW fake stories

• Yibo using the photo for weibo night 22-23

• The story of the 85 logo

• HUABIAO AWARDS CANDIES : their movies featured as key works in 2023 + Bunny drawing in the background ; Chanel Brooch 🎀

• WYB’s btf co star said he has a delicious beef dish that he eats and people are wondering if it’s the “sauced beef” that cpfs think is from GG’s mom.

• Same phone case timeline

• Candies from WYB’s Chunzhen event + XZ’s team denying a melon about a collab with his former co-star

• 5/28 ( A day that two topics about XZ & WYB together went on hot search ) ONE TWO

• NEW chengyi comic about accidentally listening to a horror podcast & sleeping together

• random old candies

• Cherries 🍒

• WYB’s Fly streetwear shirt going to Japan

JUNE 2023

• Maison Kitsune Couple Shirt. WYB’s is for his Chunzhen Fanmeet & GG’s is for Roborock Ad. Yeah, it’s a pretty good brand that they have both worn before but does it have to be from the same line? and look so much like each other? and for us to see it in a span of a few days on them 5/27 and 6/1? I’m sorry if we’re clowning so much here but we can’t help it.

• 6/1, their studio accounts posting so close to each other. XZS shared WDB video & YBO re posted a one and only movie promo. What a nice coincidence. This would have been something to ignore if we didn’t have so many XZS 🤝 YBO candies. Then just minutes later, YBO posts the photoshoot for WYB’s Chanel show and one of the layouts look like XZS. 😂 also using the sunglasses emoji

• WYB’s Chanel Japan show clowning + WDB drawings resembles Web

• An unusual increase of hot searches that associate XZ and WYB ✨

• Bottled Joy saga Part 3

• both of their works featured in National Cinema Movie Promotion Conference. movie stars! 🎞️

• XZ found to be wearing Uggs

• Minor candies from Douyin Movie Wonder Night

• THIS RIGHT HERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• WDB cast and their connection to web: one / two

• Yibo is an introvert and Chunsheng is an extrovert

• Mosquito jokes 🦟🦟🦟

• CPN WRAP UP ( includes : yuli interview clues, bottled joy using their colors for panther and guangdian drawing, numbers on evisu ad, posting almost one hour apart, cute dogs and missing lyrics )

• weekend cpn : same expression, not holding hands, shuke x beita and other sweets

• 6/20, BJYX went on hot search

• BJYX IS BE was gone in the hot search

• Moncler Event CPN

• Heurueh brand

• LRLG leaves yibo-official

• some “new” photos from SINA visit

• Infinity sign on WYB’s clothes

• “how they sleep” CPN

• there are conversations that when WYB went back to Beijing after the Moncler event, he was spending time with GG. it’s also because the shoot for Condor Heroes was delayed so they both suddenly had time to be in the same city 😊

• same-style clothes for recent released ads - NANS

• 6/26 rumors that GG/Web will be participating in the same event and their sus airpot schedules!!!!

• Yubin shares a video and we get a 1 second clip of the boys eating hotpot

• 6.29 Hongkong Event : Timeline & CPNs

That’s all for now! 

See you by the end of the year <3 

[ultfreakme]

Just this week, I had to interact with extremely racist rhetoric about Asians with a de-ager that genuinely put me in a bad spot mentally, but i dud it becayse i thought that person coud be educated. Since 2021, I've had to watch as droves of people commented & replied & posted racist, xenophobic, biphobic arguments about JayJon simply because they didn't enjoy teen Jon. Arguments saying Jay, who in the story is an immigrant freedom fighter, is a terrorist. Arguments saying Jon right now is better off dead which mocked teen Jon fans for finding any aspect of Jon's bisexuality relatable.

I've been trying to be polite & mostly keeping my thoughts offline the wider Internet & public platforms for YEARS. I know of multiple POC (specifically Asian) Jon & Jay stans who have had to go inactive or delete accounts, because certain people have decided even EXPRESSING, merely saying you like Jon as he is now warrants a witch hunt & microaggressions which they assume is "harmless" because they're unwilling to examine any of their own biases. On top of that, rn many queer DC creatives are also constantly getting harassed and literal war criminals are being upheld as good writers, purely for fanon ship reasons.

Do you have any idea how fucking tiresome it is, to fight conservatives who want my meager rights gone online spewing homophobia because Superman came out, alongside comic fans who gladly take up similar arguments just to get their headcanons to be real? Do you have any idea the mental toll it takes, seeing a character who represents real life struggles of fighting against colonialism who LOOKS so much like thousands of queer POC kids, be called a terrorist & a villain because he is in love with a white character?? Not for any grand reason. SOLELY because he's paired with Jon.

Why should we be nice & polite when all it has gotten me in return is trying to explain to people that hey calling freedom fighters terrorists in a story about US hegemony and saying the bi rep is "not correct" is just fuelling bigotry?

But when teen Jon fans make stupid jokes & give slight pushback, we're the bad guys.

You are not the victim. There's literally thousands of you and like, 10 of us who consistently post. DC comics does not have a grand agenda against you, white boy character enjoyer.

The least we ask for is to leave us alone & just let us enjoy canon Jon in peace but we can't post a meta thread or fanart or fucking ANYTHING without people calling us fake fans & throwing in a little bigoted comment to top it all off. Block us. Again, there's like 10 accounts.

Go through the tumblr tag rn, 90% of it is kid Jon posts. We can't have that fucking 10% though can we? No,that'd be the....idfk the DC agenda of the totally scary homeless freedom fighter boy manipulating the pure, totally powerless white boy who can literally topple nations if he wanted and is a grown man. 👏👏👏👏 congrats, you've identified the Agenda & defeated The Evil by putting down POC characters, their struggles, & looking down upon bi repbecause it diesnt specifically fot your vision of bisexuality or your experience. Oh and also, a bunch of marginalized DC craeatives probably hate you. You know, with all the insults thrown their way for their efforts (because Conservative Propaganda man and War Criminal will get the queer experience far better than the trans activists & queer writers).

[frownyalfred]

*busts down your doors* HEY! Long ask for ya

okay so I was rereading your fic where EMS showed up because Dick couldn’t flip on the trampoline (rip) and it got me thinking about routine trauma.

So here’s the thing: I am not EMS. I know three people who are EMS, but my extent of EMS experience comes from one (1) ride along and lurking on EMS subreddits. Those guys are a hoot. Great memes. Anyways.

A comment stuck out to me: “You haven’t truly lived the job until you’re eating a gas station burrito next to a dead body”. I’ve seen a bunch like that. Nonchalance and dark humor because well, that’s their job. Gore is the norm. Sure, depending on the area, your usual calls might just be lift assists, but other areas are neck deep in gang violence and violent crime.

A pretty common post on that subreddit is also, sadly, “I just got a call that’s never bothered me before but all of a sudden I’m broken” or “I’ve never had a problem running this type of call before but all of a sudden it just hit me.” Delayed trauma is a bitch. Someone pointed out that if a civilian saw a fatal car accident with multiple corpses, they’d be in therapy and given support and it’d be a huge deal. With EMS, they’re just expected to deal with it. (EMS mental health is getting better- there are helplines and resources and first responder focused therapies- but it’s still a developing field)

ANYWAYS, now that I’ve given you a crash course on the EMS mental health crisis (someone should really write a feature on EMS in Gotham those fuckers would be crazy and I love them already), my point is, how would this apply to the bats? Seeing bodies is treated as very much the norm to them, but do you think it ever just… catches up? The impact of seeing corpses day after day? Do you think they have to fake being fine and tough during those times because well, “everybody else in the family is fine with it, I’m not going to be a liability/burden/weak/etc”

Do you think Bruce, the goddamn batman, who shouldn’t be ruffled by anything, ever just feels something crack inside when he looks at a little boy who could have grown up healthy and strong like his Jason, had (Bruce) someone been there for him? and then he can’t work cases with kids for a week?

This is such an excellent ask, thank you so much for gracing my inbox with it!

It's a very good question. I'm also on a lot of those subreddits (needed to do some research for that fic) and the discussion in those forums and on TikTok is like you described, a kind of practiced desensitization to all gore and suffering in order to survive in their job.

What I've seen from those discussions (and my EMT friend) is an almost sub-conscious trend where they allow themselves the "thing" that breaks them, and they push a lot of that trauma and emotion onto that thing. Like an EMT saying they don't do kids, or they don't do gunshots to the eye, etc. And they'll sob like a baby on those calls, while remaining stone-faced and level-headed through the triple homicide.

I'm just theorizing here, but I imagine the Batfamily uses similar coping skills -- pushing all that trauma and suffering into a box which cracks only under limited, defined circumstances. And they break or snap only under those conditions, because, subconsciously, they allowed themselves to.

So yes, Bruce might be 99% fine with most of the bodies he sees, but there might be a little boy who has a detail (like Jason's dark hair) that just slams into him out of nowhere.

PTSD and trauma literally change the structure of the brain. Individuals react differently to trauma after that, but there does appear to be a "desensitizing" effect with repeated trauma, as the body tries to compensate.

I agree that the Gotham EMTs must be some crazy motherfuckers. They probably deal with 6x the normal shit EMTs deal with in other cities. They probably take on a lot more trauma and burn out quicker than other EMTs, too.

Anyone else have thoughts on this? I admit I don't cover PTSD explicitly in a lot of my fics.

[rocketturtle4]

Don't mind me I'm just collecting evidence for Ray's complete lack of self-esteem self-anything

(I'm shadowbanned which means that fact that I'm tagging everyone is USELESS (although I may have someone to help me out) but maybe it won't be useless later. Also I also cannot reply to comments, and you will not see in your notes if I reblog your post...fun times) @waitmyturtles should thee wish)

Finally pushed over by this post (@burnsuncomet @dewtu @plantsarepeopletoo) because @thegalwhorants that's right, it is VERY SAD

Because is this scene funny and ironic? Yes!

Do I think people (me, I'm people) are going to swing around in 1-11 weeks time pull out screenshot one and comment not on the irony of this shirt but it's poignancy? ALSO YES. (Screenshots stolen out of this post @chickenstrangers)

So I'm starting my evidence collection now...

Poor Boy Gifs (a selection) (in no particular order)

His t-shirt and reactions @khaotunq

Drunk boy this gifset by @gunsatthaphan

More Drunk Boy this gifset @heretherebedork

This gifset @gunsatthaphan

Also this scene again because it's so awful it deserves to be included twice:

this gifset by @userneos

speaks for itself:

this set by @sunsetandthemoon (whose ENTIRE set here is just good evidence, but I promised myself I'd only steal one gif per post)

Ray's face when he sees Top and Mew dancing

gifset here by @plantsarepeopletoo (multiple parts of this gifset have flashing lights)

this gifset by @nick-nellson

Look how happy he is surrounded by his friends!!!

Oh and I'm sad again...

I gave in and grabbed 2 from this one @raypakorn

Since I already broke my rule I'm grabbing another one from @sunsetandthemoon:

This is clearly just the (shit)icing on the (shit)cake of his (shit)life.

Finally thanks to @plantsarepeopletoo

His pure excitement at the idea of doing this project with his friends help...

verses everyone else...

Other Posts:

You're a burden screenshots (by @heretherebedork)

Information about Ray's subtitle/label "the one who [abandoned/discarded/threw away/cast out] himself" @lurkingteapot

Interesting thoughts on Sand and Ray by @bird-inacage - Ray's Fear of Inadequacy

Someone else who is sad with excellent screenshots @poetry-protest-pornography

I feel like this line might come back to haunt us lol @sparklyeyedhimbo

Trajectory of relationships and sex by @thatgirl4815

also by @thatgirl4815: Ray and apologising

Body language notes @captain-xandis

More random thoughts worth noting (Sand & Ray) @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Tweets

this post by @thatgirl4815

(directly referencing the scene where Ray wakes up and doesn't seem to mind the fact that he thinks he got roofied and kidnapped for sex)

Plus:

originally posted here by @elliebirdwrites

Thoughts

(I'm not really taking it THIS seriously, just apreciating all my feels...also I don't think I've ?EVER actually watched a show from week 1...I normally have 2-3 episodes to obsess over by the time I start. This one ep business is not taking up enough time)

How much of Ray's identity revolves around making his friends (Mew) happy?

How much is he going to break when the ?rich? hotel owner moves into the only space he feels like he has value in?

(and how much is his breaking going to break our best boy Sand?)

Let's see how much Ray(and Sand) can singlehandedly make me cry for the next 11 weeks...It is afterall, a FirstKhao specialty.

(now do I make a similar collection about Sand...or wait till next week hmmmmm....)

I'm going along with the masses and loving the poor boy and his rich (poor) boy.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I remember you mentioning A court of Thorns and roses in your posts once when talking about malleus character archetype. Have you read acotar series? If so I really want to know what you think about it. Your post is how I found out this series. It's pretty meh 😕 to me but I would really like to read your thoughts on it 😊. Also are non twst related ask allowed? If not I'm truly sorry😥. You can just ignore this ask

Oh god 😅 That was such a long time ago that I can’t even locate the original post where I made that comment…

To summarize what I said then, I had expressed that the way Malleus is presented to us reminds me of the bad boy supernatural love interests in romantasy novels. I believe the online book community colloquially refers to these characters as “Shadow Daddies” and I find that hilarious. To clarify, I do NOT mean to say that Malleus is Yuu’s “canon” love interest or anything like that. When I say that Malleus is “like” a Shadow Daddy, it’s just in the tropes they share. (For example, being overpowered, brooding, and misunderstood as a “bad guy” when, in actuality, he has a heart of gold and is just lonely.)

… I’ve actually seen multiple posts comparing Malleus and Rhysand, if you can believe that 💀

The rest of my response isn’t really TWST related, so I’ll put it under the cut for ya ^^ I tried to keep my thoughts concise and free of spoilers.

But to your question! Yes, I actually have read the first three books of ACOTAR but not the novella (A Court of Frost and Starlight) or the sequel, A Court of Silver Flames. I got into the series because it was highly recommended within its genre, but I came out of it really disappointed. I continued reading hoping that it would get better, but it really did not.

Maas has this really melodramatic and yet simultaneously juvenile way of writing dialogue that does not mesh well with what I’m looking for in a romantasy read. She’ll have characters give exposition or speeches that go on for like 10 pages straight and also have supposedly wise ancient fae cracking potty jokes like a middle schooler trying to impress their friends. It makes the books a lot longer than they have to be. In actuality, the plot involves a lot of running around and having all the right questions answered by conveniently placed chess pieces. I also did not enjoy the vague world building (like several side characters are never given proper names and instead are always referred to by title) and the near-constant mention of mating bonds. What I did like was how Maas wrote action scenes and descriptions (even if they often veer into purple prose). She also comes up with some unique concepts—but the execution of those concepts isn’t great, so the ideas are left sort of shallow and floating there waiting to be fully realized.

Romantasy and fairy tale retellings are some of my favorite things to read, so I was sad that I didn’t think that highly of this beloved series. It’s been a while since I’ve read a book I’ve been able to seriously get immersed in 😔 ACOTAR’s explosive popularity has led to many other authors trying to replicate Maas’s success, which has flooded the market with horni fae books and even similar titles (“A [noun] of [nouns] and [nouns]”). (And as someone who does NOT find Malleus attractive at all, you can imagine I’m not thrilled.) I have really mixed feelings about that… While of course I don’t mind if people enjoy ACOTAR or ACOTAR-adjacent books, I dislike that it makes up the bulk of what is marketed to me. It makes it a lot harder to find something that’s more suited to my tastes.

If anyone seeing this post is interested in trying out ACOTAR, I caution you that it is a “new adult” book, meaning it is intended for older teens (I would recommend 18+, honestly). There is a lot of violence and… explicit intimate scenes… in the series.

[resowrites]

Hot Seat - oneshot.

Summary: Henry is interviewed about life post-The Witcher…

Characters: AU!Henry Cavill, Wife!OC, Interviewer

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2817

A/N: This is something a bit different so I hope you all enjoy. Not that I should have to point it out but as with all my work, it’s pure fiction (as in completely made up) and not in any way meant to reflect reality. As ever, let me know your thoughts - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Hot Seat - oneshot.

My first thought upon starting my interview with Henry Cavill is that I must have got my lines crossed. Instead of the 39-year-old Jersey-born actor, the featureless wall on the screen in front of reveals a woman. She quickly introduces herself and apologises for his absence. "Our puppy got into a multipack of toilet rolls and is still wreaking havoc, but he'll be right with you." This, as it turns out, is his partner Ollie. The 33-year-old financial advisor (she politely asks me not to give her full name as apparently "the people who care already know it"), has been with the actor for the better part of a decade though it's seldom publicised. They're occasionally pictured together but Henry, known for being one of the more private Hollywood actors, has given away few details about the relationship.

This, however, doesn't stop her from graciously chatting with me while we await his arrival. Having a son with her name, I ask if it's short for something else. "No, just Ollie. My parents were fans of Laurel and Hardy," she says with a shrug. So she's not actually Olivia? "Nope, though I suppose it could have been worse, they could have called me Stan," she replies drily. I tell her my wife and I are expecting a girl in the summer. "Oh how lovely - don't give her a boy's name." Duly noted. I then ask after Kal, Henry's longtime canine companion, and she assures me he's still alive and kicking. So what prompted the puppy? "Anniversary gift," she says between sips of water, though she doesn't give a name or clarify who gifted who. Moving on, I ask if she has any tips for interviewing Henry. "Talk slowly," comes her immediate response. It's not difficult to see how he fell for her, big twinkly eyes and a throaty laugh betray a quick wit that's similar to his own. I venture to ask what it's like being in a relationship with him. "Agonising. I mean his looks alone, I'm at a loss," she deadpans before another laugh. And the fame? "Honestly, it's not something I really think about. Our day-to-day life is very normal."

As if on cue, Henry enters the room with a large and very fluffy puppy trying to wriggle free of his arms. His eyes flash briefly with concern but she gives him a reassuring smile, thanks me for my patience, and wishes me well. She then pats Henry on the chest, tells him to behave himself, and disappears with the puppy in tow. The screen now fills with his impressive frame though his demeanour is infinitely milder - if slightly harried. "My apologies John. Akita's - can't live with them, can't live without them." Much has been made of the peaks and troughs of his Hollywood career. At one point in the early aughts, he'd missed out on multiple high-profile roles (Henry Cavill: Hollywood's unluckiest actor?) Finally bagging Superman in 2013 with Zack Snyder's Man of Steel, he proved capable of big returns and even bigger popularity (Henry Cavill: Superman for a new generation).

In 2013's Man of Steel (image credit: Warner Bros.)

This makes news of his recent departure from both Netflix's The Witcher (ostensibly because of creative differences), and DC's Superman franchise (due to the recent hiring of James Gunn as the studio's creative leader), all the more stupefying. But whether or not he really is Hollywood's 'unluckiest' actor, this isn't a term that reflects his life outside of the job, something which definitely marks him out from his contemporaries. In addition to a much-protected relationship (neither he nor his publicist confirms the status of it despite appearing to wear a wedding ring), he hails from a loving family and has a close-knit group of friends. He withdrew from a recent project (for reasons unrelated to the project itself), but is now in talks to appear in and produce an adaptation of Warhammer 40, 000 after Amazon recently secured the rights to the popular tabletop game.

In 2019's The Witcher (image credit: Netflix)

It's actually not the first time I've met Henry. Our paths once crossed some years ago in a hotel lobby though this brief encounter was part of a jam-packed press tour. Today's meeting isn't scheduled for a considerably longer time, but there's more than enough to discuss. A colleague did however warn me that despite a more ingenuous nature, he can make for a difficult interviewee. For the first part of our interview, I would be inclined to agree. Though pleasant, his answers border on glib and this is perhaps unsurprising given the recent twists and turns of his career. Happily, he warms up as our fourty minutes go by and on this occasion, is more revealing about life away from the cameras…

J: First thing's first, are you watching the Six Nations (an annual international men's rugby union competition)?

H: Yeah, it's been dismal though (England won just two out of five matches)… doesn't bode well for the World Cup does it?

J: No it doesn't. Now I know you can't say much at the moment about more recent as well as upcoming projects, but I wanted to get your take on the development of IPs for modern audiences. More than ever it seems a rather precarious business…

H: I think that's a fair assessment. There's lots of competition and only a finite amount of resources, so balancing what audiences want against the financial gains is tricky.

J: So what's the solution?

H: Are you trying to get me into trouble (laughs)? It depends. I mean, you can experiment a bit more with big projects. But for niche ventures, I think it's probably better to lean on the source material and fanbases already there.

J: But do you think there's a general fatigue with certain genres at the moment?

H: Perhaps, but that's why it's all the more important to look at the project as a whole. More often than not, if a project sinks it's on the project, not the audience.

J: Surely events such as the pandemic have had a huge impact though?

H: Yeah, definitely. But I don't think it's that difficult to produce big and/or successful entertainment because if anything, the need has never been stronger. It may just require studios to slow down a bit and think harder about each stage of development.

J: Do you feel more at peace with your career these days?

H: I would say so. I mean it's not an industry you ever feel secure in because that's not really the nature of it. But I still feel the same rush and excitement. I think there's a tendency to forget that actors act for the same reason people enjoy consuming our work. We like to escape and have fun as well.

J: What has it taught you about yourself?

H: Well for one it's bettered my patience (laughs). There's also nothing like acting to improve your physique (laughs).

J: Do you still feel the same pressures to look and perform a certain way?

H: I mean to an extent it's just the expectation and I completely respect that - if you're spending millions bringing, say, Superman to life, whoever plays him must at the very least, look like him.

J: And what are your thoughts now that that franchise will be moving ahead without you?

H: Well, for one, I'm not as devastated as everyone seems to think (laughs). I had a blast making those films and I was looking forward to expanding on what was created but the workouts were something else. As were the press tours (laugh).

J: Would you say that's one of the biggest drawbacks now for actors?

H: I suppose. I mean who honestly wants to be hooked up to a lie detector and asked leading questions (laughs)? I find it a bit unfair at times. I'm not suggesting for one minute that actors aren't immensely lucky or privileged. Of course, what we do is comparatively easy. But the amount of exposure will always be a double-edged sword, no question.

J: You've said in the past you're not a huge fan of social media, do you think it's essential to what you do?

H: Perhaps not essential but it's undeniably very useful. And I have no issue in sharing parts of my life with those who find it interesting. But I also don’t see the harm in a bit of mystery, there's no need to upload and share absolutely everything.

J: More male stars are speaking up about the double standards in how they're treated by fans and the wider public. Are those sentiments you share?

H: Yes and no. I mean most of the time it's harmless and of course very flattering, but I think it's always best to put others at ease rather than risk making them uncomfortable. Of course, everyone has different ideas on how to do that (laughs) but as the old saying goes, do unto others…

J: I imagine it's different when that attention is also directed at those closest to you?

H: Oh absolutely. My friends and family didn't sign up for that but luckily they're good-natured about it.

J: It seems the lines are becoming more and more blurred though…

H: Yeah, and that's a shame. But it's also why you need to be prudent about how much of it you elicit and engage in.

J: But do you take issue with the amount of gossip? I imagine it's hard knowing it's out there when there's not much you can do about it.

H: I try and look for the silver linings, I mean if people are that invested it means you at least have some relevance still. Besides, I have a very happy, successful life outside of what I do and that makes all the difference.

J: I am curious to know how you've managed to make that work…

H: Well I don't want to give the impression that it's easy because it's not. Spending so much time away from the people you love is easily the worst thing about this job and it's something I'm always trying to improve.

J: You're also approaching 40, has that caused you to stop and take stock?

H: Thanks for the reminder (laughs). Nah I'm in a good place about it actually. Well, for now… (laughs).

J: Are there any roles, in particular, you still wish to play?

H: Not really. I think most people see me as an action star and I'm happy to remain so. It seems to be what I excel at though I've also enjoyed branching out into more comedic roles. More of those would be nice.

J: So you've no burning desires for the future? What about regrets?

H: I wouldn't say that (laughs). There's some stuff I've yet to get around to, as for regrets I've very few.

J: Such as?

H: Well, some of the films I've made for starters (laughs). Although that's not really fair as there's always something to take away from those experiences.

J: What about personally?

H: Um (pauses), nothing springs to mind. I wish I'd met my better half a lot sooner. But we've been together for over seven years so I can't complain.

J: If I remember rightly you'd just started seeing each other the last time we spoke.

H: That's right! God, where's the time gone?

J: How were the lockdowns for you both?

H: You know, as scary and traumatic as that time was, I can honestly say it reaffirmed to me that I'd made the right choices.

J: Did she feel similarly?

H: Perhaps not at first (laughs).

J: You certainly seem to share the same sense of humour. You know she introduced herself as the maid?

H: (Looks around) I hope you didn't fall for it… (laughs). And she's far more warped, trust me. She's just better at hiding it (laughs).

J: Care to give some examples?

H: Oh God, where do I start (laughs)? To be honest I'm not sure I can without making her look completely mad… though that wouldn't be an unfair assessment (laughs) (slight pause). She's a nightmare to text. Her idea of messaging me usually involves repeating a word until I manage to guess what on earth she's on about (laughs). I was in London a few days back and I messaged her asking how her morning had gone and she just kept responding with the word 'log' (laughs). So there I was, in a meeting with my business manager, trying to figure out at the back of my mind what she meant. Did she want to log a complaint (laughs)? Was I supposed to bring home a chocolate log? Did we need more firewood (laughs)? Turns out she'd just tripped over one while walking the dogs. See? Mad (grins).

J: My wife's like that but with GIFs.

H: Yeah, I get those less often but to maximum effect (laughs). Like I remember when I was getting fitted for the suits I wore in The Man from Uncle. I sent her a picture of my favourite and she immediately winged back a gif of Sterling Archer (from FX's 2009 animated sitcom Archer) (laughs).

J: Is she indifferent to what you do?

H: It's not that she's indifferent, she's just not taken in by it and thank God because it helps keep me sane.

J: So she likes to keep you on your toes?

H: Oh yeah, our life's never dull (laugh). The last time I was away filming, I'd stupidly warned her beforehand not to go anywhere near this rare Warhammer figurine that a friend sent me. So cue the photos of it in the dust container of the Dyson, at the edge of Kal's food bowl as his face was in it… she even sent me one of it in the washing machine just as it was filling up with water. That one warranted a phone call (laughs).

J: Oh dear. Did it survive?

H: Annoyingly it was absolutely fine… she's done worse (laughs).

J: Such as?

H: Er, well there was the time I was in New Zealand shooting the helicopter sequence for Mission Impossible: Fallout. I've talked about it before so I'm not going to rehash it but the conditions were extreme so everyone was pretty miserable. What made it worse was that a few weeks before, she'd broken her hand - the story of how she did that is actually funnier than the one I'm about to tell—

J: What happened?

H: … No, I can't say. She'd kill me (laughs). Anyway, being halfway across the world I couldn't get back to her and was in a bit of a state about it. So to cheer me up, one afternoon she sends me a video of her at the physio's office and in it (laughs)… she's wearing one of those old-fashioned prosthetic split hooks (laughs). What's amazing is how she somehow managed to rope the physio in, like as soon as he comes into the room she puts her phone down so as not to film him (laughs).

J: Where on earth did she get a split hook?

H: I know right? She told me Etsy but God knows… apparently the physio provided the arm it was attached to (laughs). So there I was, suspended above the Southern Alps, laughing the hardest I've ever laughed in my life.

J: Did you show it to Tom Cruise?

H: Oh yeah.

J: And what did he say?

H: She's a keeper (laughs). I'd play it for you but it got deleted when I changed phones a little while back.

J: Well, that's disappointing. What happened to the hook?

H: When I finally came home we had some champagne to celebrate and when I went to the drawer, I found she'd chucked it in there with the bottle openers (laughs).

J: Are there any more stories you can share?

H: Yeah, but I think I've said enough (laughs).

J: What makes the two of you such a good match do you think?

H: She's got a long fuse which certainly helps (laughs). We were just meant for each other (shrugs).

J: Did it feel that way quite early on? I know it did with my wife.

H: Oh yeah, almost instantly. When you know, you know.

A week after we meet I receive a gift at the office - a box of homemade cookies (which are heavenly) and a beautiful baby blanket. Accompanied is a note which first apologises for the gift's tardiness 'Henry ate the first batch,' thanks me for a good interview and then encourages some skepticism of the tales told as 'they're only mostly true.' Either way, I concede that he is indeed a lucky man.

Enola Holmes 2 is on Netflix.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo

[anawkwardlady]

Dadbastian week day 1 : Proud

“Oh young master, right now you looked just like Mr. Sebastian”

This sentence sends shivers down his spine. Next to him, Sebastian doesn’t break character and only grows a bigger, warmer smile. He simply adds, “I did notice.”

Ciel doesn’t really like the tone of his voice, nor does appreciate that familiar smile. Not familiar in the sense that he saw it on him multiple times –which he did– familiar as in, confusing. As in, coming from a blurry dream where walls, made of real memories, still do not make your home. This is how it feels sometimes, and it’s a stabbing surprise every time it does. It’s not the first time someone makes a passing comment about the similarities between them two and like all the time it happens, the butler feigns a humble face, and stabs. 

Ciel doesn’t look like Sebastian. Ciel looks like someone Sebastian also looks like. Therefore maybe Ciel does look like Sebastian. But saying this like that feels like missing a step. 

Sebastian doesn’t look like Ciel. Sebastian looks like someone who looks like Ciel. Therefore maybe Sebastian does look like Ciel. But saying this feels like falling down the stairs. 

“You’ll grow up and look more and more like him”

Wait. No. 

“You even have his smile sometimes”

Not his. not his.

Sebastian again looks satisfied and grows into a face that haunts the boy to this day. As they both know the demon has nothing to feel flattered about, since his skin was merely something he put on like an extra layer of clothes of his own choosing. It was the first choice he had when the contract was made and the master now realizes this tiny wiggle room of freedom he allowed might have been his most immediate way to have a taste of torment. 

It did not feel as intrusive at first, it must have even been comforting at times, as much as letting ghosts wander over other people’s faces could be. Especially when you are ten years old still glancing around for all those who do not exist anymore, as a simple habit that could not be helped for now. Familiar smiles, frowns, sighs, were tolerated. When familiar simply meant what it was. 

Why. Why this face. What would you want anymore that isn’t already promised away. Why are you smiling like that. Keep it off, it’s not yours!  

“My my, everyone sees you morphing into me. What kind of butler would I be if I did not serve as a proper model to grow into,” he smirks. 

Ciel understands finally, seeing this pleasant expression once more. He already started eating away. Probably did since the beginning. 

.

One night, the boy discovers his butler’s “corpse” lying on his back, pierced in the chest. They talked it over before and he obviously knew what he was walking into. However, for a few seconds, looking at the– a dead man, he cannot deliver his part. For a few seconds he has no idea of what he is looking at or why that man redundantly died again.

Feeling the growing tension, the butler represses a smile. He feels a satisfaction hard to put into words.

How far you’ve come, young master.