#and much to my distress i still find him attractive i thought i was better than this

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Vox Machina reacting to gn crush telling him/her that they had been told by their crushes that they're not good-looking and interesting please?

Vax thinks that’s an utter bollocks statement to make, especially since it was coming from someone you had feelings towards.

This absolute sweetheart would sit by you under a blanket of stars and keep you company until he thought you were ready to get back on your feet and show the fucker what they were missing out on.

‘They speak the universal language of bullshit.’ He’d say, which made you laugh in how he worded it. ‘I’m being serious! They don’t fucking know what they’ve missed out on, so don’t be too sad because they knew you were out of their reach and didn’t want to admit it out of their own pride.’ He adds as he allowed you to toy with his dagger

‘Still hurts though.’ You murmured as you tossed the dagger into the air and catching it by the handle as it comes down again. Vax frowns before nudging you in the side playfully.

‘Hey, it may suck now but sooner or later we’re going to look back on this and laugh at how much of a loser they were and how much better off you were without them to tie you down.’ He says and you look at him deeply before smiling. ‘Yeah they were a bit bland featured to be honest.’ You shyly admitted as vax laughed.

‘They’re bland as fuck and you are not, they’re a cunt and your far better then to let that twat have any ounce of power over you in any aspect, oh we can go see if I can pickpocket the bastard for everything their worth? Would that cheer you up?’ Vax asked as you mulled over the idea in your head, but it didn’t take long for you to want to see chaos ensue and you were quick to agree.

You and vax then ran off into the night like two giggling idiots, feeling a thousand times better then you were before.

Vex

‘Oh sweetheart that isn’t true, far from it.’ She’d say as she holds your face, wiping away your tears from your cheeks.

‘Then why would they say it.’ You said as you looked to her for answers within her eyes and Vex couldn’t help but feel her heart crack for you.

‘They’re not worth your tears, none at all if this is how they’re going to make you feel all the time.’ Vex told you as her bear companion huffed and cuddled into your side, sensing your sadness and distress and you were quick to run your hand through their fur in silent thanks.

‘I guess I shouldn’t have expected so much from them to begin with. After all nothing is set in stone.’ You murmured under your breath. ‘But it still hurts regardless.’

‘And it will my dear, it will hurt but sometimes it can motivate us into going the path we were meant to all along.’ Vex replied as watched you and trinket interact with hope in her heart that you’ll be okay, that you’ll be alright in due time.

‘Thanks vex, I really needed to hear that today.’ You tell her, only for trinket to huff as you laugh and ruffle their fur, ‘and yes thank you too trinket, thank you for the emotional support.’

Trinket huffed again but this time in triumph.

Percy wouldn’t know how to comfort you at first but would find it easier to just let you air out your grievances instead.

‘They said I’m bland and unappealing! Only to then call me childish when I showed that I wasn’t happy being called such, claiming I can’t handle the truth.’ You groaned as you fell in to the empty chair that awaited you. ‘What a fucking joke.’ You murmured.

‘What they said is uncalled for and rude on all accounts,’ Percy said calmly, ‘they claim it’s true but from the stories you’ve told me about them, they’re the most boring and unpleasant person to ever engage in a conversation with without feeling the need to bring up your topic of the weather.’ He adds and you snorted at his sarcastic tone.

‘Yeah, they do tend to find the most boring things and talk about them for hours, how I thought that was attractive I’ll never know, blinded I guess.’ You shrugged as you both began to shit talk about your former crush and nitpick at their every aspect with scrutinising detail.

‘They cannot tie a cravat properly to save his life.’ Percy quipped.

‘They avoid taverns because they don’t like the liveliness of them, nor the rowdiness.’ You add.

Percy scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘Pretentious prick.’

You jolted forward in your seat towards him as though you were going to tell him a secret. ‘He’s not even from a well known enough family for that Percy’s they just wanna act like they are.’ You swore you saw Percy smile before he hid it behind his hand.

‘How embarrassing.’ He mumbles.

‘I know right?!’ You exclaimed as throughout the night you and Percy spend most of it together and shit talking the rejection away.

Keyleth would immediately try to disprove this by taking you out to her garden and showing you all the flowers.

‘Why am I here keyleth? To show how unappealing I am in comparison to pretty flowers?’ You asked.

‘No! I brought you here to show that every flower within my garden is no less loved than the other, all of them are watered and properly cared for regardless of how they look or what they smell like.’ Keyleth replied as she made you look at the daises, lavenders, chrysanthemums, water lilies, thistle, roses, Lilly of the valley and many more as thought they were a kaleidoscope of beauty in all its forms.

‘They are indeed all beautiful in their own unique way.’ You mumbled as you brushed one of the petals of a rose. Keyleth smiled as she put her hands on your shoulders and giving them a squeeze.

‘All flowers are loved by someone and you will find someone who will love you just as much as a Gardner loves their flowers.’ She reassured you in a sweet yet calming voice. ‘For you are worthy of love just like these flowers and you’ll find them, it just takes a little time and patience to happen. So hold on tight because someone is out there looking for the prettiest flower; you.’ She finished and you smiled back at her, resting your hands on top of hers, feeling reassured.

‘Thanks keyleth, I really needed it.’ You replied.

Grog

‘Well they’re stupid.’ He’d say in response.

‘but what if they’re right?’ You asked, defeated. ‘What if I am boring and unappealing?’

Grog huffs. ‘Bullshit. You’re far from either boring or unappealing, they’re just weak shit and cowardly because they know they can’t handle someone like you.’

You’d lean into his side and smiling softly. ‘Thanks for cheering me up Grog, I really needed it.’

‘No problem buddy.’ He smiles as he pats your head as a moment of silence passed between you two. ‘So…do you wanna fuck up some bad guys to relive the stress?’ He then asks and you smiled at him.

‘You don’t even have to ask.’ You tell him as you both set off to kick some ass.

[lily-fics-11]

Good Luck, Babe! Part 1 (Ellie Williams, TLOU)

Good Luck, Babe!

Part 1 (Part 2 here)

(Inspired by Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan)

@dynsdiary made a post about Ellie x closet!reader Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan and I couldn’t go to sleep without writing it, so this is not super well edited

Word count: 1.2k 

CW: Angst, profanities, allusions to sex, internalized homophobia, drinking, not well edited

After spending another night with Ellie you slip out of her bed while she’s still asleep, around sunrise, like you always do.

The feelings you have for Ellie Williams are undeniably strong, but you won’t let yourself take things further than your sexually explicit kind of love affair. You are straight. “I just needed a little lovin’,” you reassure yourself every time she has you moaning her name.

The feelings you have for Ellie Williams are confusing. Undeniably strong, but you won’t let yourself take things further than your sexually explicit kind of love affair. You are straight. “I just needed a little lovin’,” you reassure yourself every time she has you moaning her name.

*****

Waiting for your drink at the bar, a mere 12 hours later, you feel an arm slip around your waist. Your head snaps around to see Ellie’s mischievous grin emerald eyes. You push her away from you and hiss “not here Ellie, not in front of these people, not in front of anyone.”

Ellie looks heartbroken, running her hand through her auburn hair and averting her eyes. “You know I cry when you leave without saying goodbye. It’s not fair.” She whispers in distress. That rips your heart in two. A vulnerable Ellie is an extremely rare occurrence. Ellie deserves so much better than this but you are too selfish to let her go. “Can we please talk about this?” She begs.

“Fine, but not right now.” You promise her and she looks relieved. You instruct her to find you before she leaves and she bites back a smile before disappearing into the crowd. Thoughts of Ellie consume you for the rest of the night. The loud music isn’t enough to drown it out so you come up with a different plan. 

You find the most eligible bachelor in the bar and bet him a kiss if he can beat you at darts, knowing you wouldn’t win. You are more than happy to oblige when one of his objectively attractive friends wants to make the same deal. 

Approaching the poker table without any cash, you put in 5 kisses to the winner as your buy in instead of the $5 they were asking for. 

About three drinks in, you tell one of your close guy friends that you would finally give him the chance he has always wanted with you. If he could take the most shots in 30 seconds. You know he could out drink you on your best day, and he celebrates his victory with a passionate make out session against the wall in a dark corner. When you finally pull away from him you stumble out of the bar and sit on the curb, you need a little air.

Ellie is the only thing on your mind, she has anchored herself there and held on through every forced kiss. Sitting in the curb, at first you think you are imagining her beautifully familiar laugh. When you look up and see that she is actually there, she rolls her eyes. “You are so cliche.” 

“Who cares?” You reply nonchalantly with a smirk and you can see a darkness grown in her eyes as she is overcome by anger. 

“What the hell were you doing in there?” She snaps.

You bat your eyes at her the way you always do, hoping it will calm her down. “I’m just having a good time.”

Your flirty disposition does nothing to soften her anger. “Right in front of my face? With this…this thing between us?”

“Ellie I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, there is nothing between us. We are not together. We are nothing,” you remind her.

“You know what, it’s fine.” She spats. “It’s cool. I may be a fool but I know that you know the truth. Make a new excuse, another stupid reason. I know how I feel about you, and I can’t do this anymore.” Ellie turns to walk away and you grab her hand. “I don’t want to call it off!”

“But you don’t want to call it love!” She yells at you.

“Ellie please keep it down, we aren't the only ones out here.”

She obviously doesn’t care. “You can tell me you want that, why can’t you tell me what you really want?!”

You squint your eyes, growing irritable and raising your voice. “I’ve told you what I want, so please, tell me what you think I want.”

“You only wanna be the one that I call “baby”.” Ellie tells you as she kicks a rock. 

You stand up. “So what if I like being called “baby” by you? So what if I have feelings I don’t want to admit? That doesn’t mean I’m going to throw my life away. This is just the way I am. I will do whatever it takes to fight the feeling.”

Ellie gets right up in your face. “You can say that’s just the way you are, but do you really think this is a battle you can win? You came onto me. I see the way that you look at me. I’ve heard the sounds you make when I touch you and I’ve listened to you beg for more. Go ahead, you can kiss a hundred boys in bars. I’ve seen the way you cringe away from them.”

“I just get nervous.” You roll your eyes and take a step back. “Nothing a few drinks can’t fix.”

“You’ve had plenty to drink. But feel free to shoot another shot to try to stop the feeling. Eventually you’ll drink yourself to death and that’s the only way you are going to escape.” Ellie has never been so harsh with you and her words hit you like a freight train. 

“I would stop the whole world if it meant I could stop this feeling!” You cry out, on the verge of tears.

“That’s not how it works, babe. I can see it all now. You, in the years, with some sad excuse for a husband and a couple of bratty kids. You’ll wake up next to him in the middle of the night and look over at him in disgust. Put your head in your hands and cry because you are nothing more than his wife. You are going to think about me, all of those years ago, and want to sneak out on him while he sleeps, like you always did to me. Oh how the tables will have turned. But you won’t leave. You are too proud to come face to face with I told you so. You know that I would hate to say it, but all I would be able to say is ‘I told you so’.”

The tears start to fall, you can’t hold them back any longer. “Fine Ellie. I’ll admit it. I don’t want to be stuck with some man for the rest of my life.”

She crosses her arms. “I think I’m going to call this off.”

You try to plead with her. “Please don’t do this to me Ellie. I just wanna love someone who calls me ‘baby’. You call me baby. Would you still leave if I called this love?”

“Even if you call it love.”

You literally get down on your knees to beg. “Please Ellie!” You sob pathetically.

She backs away from you, and her face is saying that this hurts her more than it’s hurting you. “Good luck, babe.”

Update: Someone mentioned wanting a happy ending and I had so much fun writing this, so I will be writing a part 2! If you are here for the angst you can end here but a happy ending will be coming soon in part 2!

[worriedvision]

tighnari x reader where the reader cries a lot, over small things and over small sad stuff. (not quite crybaby but emotional) one day reader is going to like the tavern place in sumeru (yk the place where everyone was in alhaitham's demo?) and hears tighnari complaining and talking bad about reader and a time where they cried over something small with his friends (like cyno, kaveh, haitham) and then the reader well (cries over that, and just avoids him for a while) BUT its gonna be a fluffy ending where he apologizes and everything he said after the reader tell him the stuff they heard. you recently did one of my requests, i was very pleased with it, so, thank you very much, lovely!

As someone who cries a lot over small stuff, this is so me lol! Gender neutral reader, sad ending unfortunately. I was going to make it a happy one, but it felt right to make it a sad ending lol

--

There were times that you didn't know how you managed to get with Tighnari of all people. He was the one who didn't try much, in fact at the beginning of your working life with him he couldn't stand your weeping over small problems. Any minor problem that you caused, anything that could be easily fixed, anything that someone else was going through? You'd cry at the drop of a hat, there were times that you'd be embarrassed after thinking about. He was the one who asked you out, and you landed up crying before saying yes as if it was a damn proposal.

You'd try to get better with grounding yourself a bit, distancing yourself mentally from things that would make you cry, but you'd still cry at small things. You suppose that was your 'superpower' that was actually a pretty pathetic power.

Your most recent crying episode was from some idiot who had consumed a mushroom that caused them to hallucinate - the hallucinations being scary. You couldn't help but cry when seeing them distressed, which was what alerted your boyfriend to find the poor person quicker. When you apologised for crying yet again, your boyfriend brushes it off and states that it's just part of who you are.

You thought he was past the point of being angry whenever you showed these emotions, so you decide to meet up with your friends for drinks. As you get to the bar early, you decide to wait outside for your friends. Kaveh happened to go in, waving and giving a cheery hello as he nips in to hang out with friends. Shortly after, a friend shows up and you both enter.

Upstairs, you can hear your boyfriend huffing to himself.

"What's wrong?" Cyno asks, Tighnari instantly ready to reply.

"I'll tell you what's wrong, my partners a crybaby!" Tighnari tuts, Kaveh clearing his throat as he knows you're no doubt hearing this.

"You knew about that part of them long before you were dating." Alhaitham states, crossing his arms at the same time that you get up to leave.

"Well, I thought they would calm down with their feelings by having a partner, and I am attracted to them physically." As he finishes the statement, you've left the bar with tears in your eyes.

--

The next week, you don't give Tighnari any affection. It was clear to you that he didn't like one of the most obvious things about you - how overly empathetic you are. He didn't have the time to think too hard on this, which gave you more time to reflect on the state of your relationship.

It becomes increasingly clear that you just were not right for him. You were lucky to get some time with him as a partner, but you had the impression that he saw you as someone he had to babysit whenever you started to cry. It didn't matter that he was physically attracted to you, he wished you weren't so emotional about everything.

With him also being the boss, you knew you would need to find work elsewhere as soon as you could. As much as it hurts you, you two were like chalk and cheese.

He deserved someone he didn't need to be on eggshells around, and you deserved a partner that cherished the fact you could put yourself in the position of others and really feel how they felt.

--

When your boyfriend asked you to meet him at the bar, you were ready to tell him you were breaking up with him, and you had been mentally preparing yourself to not cry.

"I hope you are well, I'm afraid I have some bad news." Tighnari states, pushing a paper and a pen towards you. "You are fired. I am also breaking up with you - your empathy is something I cannot work with as an employer, as well as a boyfriend."

It was like a slap to the face, you were ready to just cry a little bit at the conversation.

But instead of being sad, you're angry. Grabbing the pen, you feel several sets of eyes on you as everyone around you is seeing and hearing everything. Signing the paper aggressively, you slam the pen down as you make direct eye contact with your now ex-boss and ex-boyfriend.

"You did this to embarrass me. You did this to emphasise something I already know - I cry too much." You spit out, not a single tear leaving you as you got straight to anger.

"Fuck you, Master Tighnari. I hope I never see you again."

[luckysalbum]

This is a very slippery slope but I keep seeing very conflicting views on Cait and I have an opinion.

I'm gna put facts first and then my opinion else I may go off topic.

Season 1 - Cait is very idealistic. She wants to help the undercity and despite her upbringing she's not as prejuidiced against Zaunites as other members of Piltover.

Season 1 ends with Jinx killing Caits motherand season 2 begins with the aftermath.

Episode 1-3 We still see Cait, seeing people from the undercity as people, placing the blame of the bomb on 1 person- Jinx.

Then the memorial happens and it's interfered with. Cait is appointed as head of a unit to do that whole martial law thing.

Not to mention the breakup with Vi and Jayce and Mel going missing. (Her other support systems)

Later on we find out Ambessa has been manipulating everything from behind the scenes in order to gain what she wants - power.

NOW YOU TELL ME If you are someone who is grieving and this motherly figure comes, basically handing everything you want on a silver platter, telling you that you are right to feel this way and right to want revenge. And you don't have much of a support system anymore. Would you not be more susceptible to manipulation? Did this also not happen to Jinx? Did Silco also similarly tell Jinx this stuff? But yall wna see him as a great father when he actively affirmed her abandonment issues and other issues. (I have thoughts on Silco as a parent and luckily I'm not blinded by being attracted to him)

Im not in any way justifying what Cait did with the grey, that was completely uncalled for and of her own volition. HOWEVER similar to jinx after losing silco, that girl was not in a healthy state of mind. Jayce literally used the hexcore to bring back Viktor in his grief. Even after promising not to use the Hexcore. People don't think properly when emotionally distraught this is a fact of life you can disagree with me but I've seen it.

What I'm trying to say is grief and emotional distress makes desperate people do things they wouldn't normally do. I don't agree with Caits actions. But I entirely understand how she got there and while her redemption could have been better unfortunately we aren't lucky like we were with ATLA. I do think Caits villain arc should have been a season and then her redemption take place over another season which would be the final season. Cait also does atone for her actions, she betrays Ambessa and she sets Jinx free. Call her a bad person but then you have to call Jinx and Silco and all the other characters bad people. They're all flawed and they all do things that aren't necessarily good. Vi puts on an enforcer uniform. Maddie Exists. Jinx killed firelights and Caits mother. Viktor became the #1 eugenics fan. They're all flawed hello.

[smoldering-violets]

So I've had some Thoughts lately as I've been rereading Oathbringer about a post I saw at some point just after finishing reading the Stormlight Archive for the first time and starting to get into the fandom. The basic premise of the post was that both Elhokar and Jasnah would have both led better lives if they were trans and effectively switched roles.

I disagree with that in regards to Jasnah. Her problems are mostly from the strict gender roles put on her by Alethi culture and vorinism, not from just being a woman. Also, as an elsecaller her oaths are supposed to revolve around meeting her potential and becoming better, and she's shown to be at at least the fourth ideal in RoW. If she were trans I'd expect that to have come up at some point. Maybe I'm missing something because I'm transfem not transmasc but I don't see that for Jasnah.

Elhokar on the other hand, I get the argument. There's not a lot of textual evidence, but more than for Jasnah. Like Jasnah, the strict gender roles of their culture seems to cause Elhokar distress, but he's way worse at making his own place despite them than Jasnah is. Elhokar was made king after his father's death due to being the only male heir, but as is shown throughout the series he's not good at being a king. Like at all. Jasnah does a much better job ruling Alethkar and that's during the apocalypse! Anyway, being a bad king doesn't mean he's trans, but it does help illustrate that the place he's put in life doesn't fit him.

The strongest evidence for Elhokar being trans is that he's attracted the attention of cryptics and if he wasn't killed he would have become a lightweaver. Lightweavers tend to be people who have deeply hidden truths about themselves that they refuse to admit even to themselves (assuming Shallan isn't a complete outlier). As someone who is trans, it's pretty easy to imagine that being a powerful truth someone would be reluctant to admit to.

Additionally, in Oathbringer when the team is infiltrating Kohlinar, Shallan suggests disguising Elhokar as a woman. Kaladin and Shallan both expect him to resist that idea, but he goes along with it eagerly and never seems uncomfortable with the experience or role while wearing that disguise. It seems like a similar thing to a lot of trans women dressing up as women for Halloween before realizing who they are/coming out because it gives them plausible deniability. I know I for one would have been delighted to have the opportunity to have an illusion that changes both my appearance and voice to be more feminine (I'm slowly working on that without the illusion, but anyways).

The last thing that's less directly evidence of being trans, but still contributes to the argument imo is that Elhokar seems to be kinda depressed most of the time. It'd be pretty easy to read the cut saddle strap situation in TWoK as a potential suicide attempt that could be explained away as trying to find assassins. In WoR after Dalinar sets off into the shattered plains Elhokar immediately starts drinking and goes to Kaladin to talk about how bad he is a being a king. On the night of the assassination attempt he's extremely drunk and moping in his rooms. In early Oathbringer he tries to abdicate the throne to Dalinar and constantly talks about how he always fails and makes a mess of things.

Anyway that's about it for my random thoughts and rambles about this that have been rattling around in my head for a while. I doubt this'll really persuade anyone, but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there

[locria-writes]

at my grown-ass age, i have finally matured enough to realize the real reason i slowly stopped following ukiss after mono scandal (besides the fact they basically became a jpop group which makes following them infinitely more difficult) ---

i had unfortunately started to find kevin attractive, and that was/is deeply unacceptable 😔

.

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

hii! i really really loved your holding hands with txt post! I was wondering if you would consider writing an extension/one-shot based off huening kai’s section? I thought it was so so cute and it seems like the perfect idiots/friends to lovers scenario :33 its alright if you dont want to, no worries :))  thanks !!

Content Warning:

alcohol consumption; drunk reader

slightly suggestive; hooking up with strangers hinted/ mentioned

forced intoxication mentioned

invading of privacy hinted

word count: 3 713

'How much time do I have left?', Taehyun shouts from his room, his rushed steps audible to Kai even in the distance of the kitchen. 

'Ten minutes!', Kai yells back and chuckles to himself, amused by his friend's excitement to get out and spend time with people. He always puts a lot of effort into his appearance, intending to seem as attractive as possible while remaining a casual demeanor as if he hasn't just been running back and forth between his room and the bathroom in an abundance of outfit variations and loud contemplations about his choice of perfume. 

Kai prefers his simple jeans and hoodie even for an occasion like an adventurous party. The greatest joy for him will be spending time with his friends, inventing new silly dance moves with Soobin that they can use to beat Yeonjun in every playful dance battle. Not even his excellent skills are able to overpower his involuntary convolution of laughters. Beomgyu's collection of footage will expand wonderful after this night, and once everyone is sobered up, he'll blackmail the shit out of the older men. And then there is also you. 

Kai can't wait to see you again. Life has been busy, and the chance of meeting up has been postponed numerous times until the opportunity of going to this party arose. It isn't Kai's favourite way of encountering you. Sharing the environment with a whole crowd of people makes him feel like he is one of too many that you are talking to. Especially when you are drinking, he has anticipates you chatting up a bunch of strangers. He's rather just spend a calm day with you alone, maybe his friends being present as well, but the uncertainty of whom you might be hooking up with is not on his list of goals for the night. 

The doorbell rings, and a loud shriek sounds from the bathroom. 

'I thought I still have time?', Taehyun shouts in distress, probably pulling at his hair in frustration and also as a reminder to himself of what he intends to feel being done to him later. 

Kai walks over and opens the door, finding you standing there with a tiny bouquet of daisies in your hand. 

'Hi!', you beam and push the flowers towards Kai, your knuckles meeting the soft fabric of his hoodie in front of his chest. Only mere centimetres were missing for him to feel your gesture directly on him. 

He looks at you in confusion, letting out a low questioning hum and hesitantly picks the collection of nature's minuscule beauty from between your fingers. A white lacy bow ties the stems together, and the ribbon's ends fall over his fingers, almost appearing like they are holding onto him with their tender touch. 

'For you. I had to think of you and how much I am happy to see you again when I saw them. I had the ribbon in my hair, but it suits the flowers better', you say and step inside, lurking around Kai to wave at the others, all of them but Taehyun already gathered in the kitchen. 

'Thanks', Kai mumbles and follows you to the counter. Beomgyu is just getting a shot glass from the drawer, but Kai snatches it away, carefully placing the flowers inside. 

'Am I supposed to get drunk on daisies?', Beomgyu grunts and gets another glass that he fills and empties in one go. 

'Oh, you're already starting!', you exclaim happily and direct Beomgyu through the collection of bottles until he has a row of glasses filled with your favourites.

Kai can't comprehend the speed with which you are drinking the various alcoholic drinks, but registers your state when you march over to the bathroom and pull Taehyun along with you to the front door. 

'My hair is not ready yet!', he whines and attempts to get back in front of the mirror, but even though he is well mastered in the skill of complaining, he has no chance to beat your complaining of finally wanting to get to the party. 

'Your hair looks gorgeous, you look handsome, and you smell great. Now get your shoes on and let's go. I am not waiting an hour for you again', you grumble and step into the hallway, urging the rest to follow in an entertained chuckle. 

'You already stuck walking a straight line', Kai whispers when you bump into him for the fourth time, apologizing eccentrically as if you had pushed him ten meters away. In reality, you fall against him with no more impact than the flowers that you handed him earlier. 

'I'm sorry. I'll just walk over there', you whine and distance yourself a few steps to give Kai space, but he pulls you back by your sleeve, tucking you to his side. 

'Nooo! I have to  make sure you don't run into anything but me', he dramatically gasps and welcomes the feeling of your shoulder shaking in a chuckle against him. He decides to not drink today, prioritizing your care and safety, well aware of the fact that all five men would go lengths to protect you, but his trust in the ability of a bunch of drunk people can't keep up with the trust he has in his sober self. 

'Who's it tonight?', he leans in and asks you, the loud music enthusiastically drowning every spoken word. Kai looks around as he is on your eye level, gets a glimpse of Taehyun strutting over to some women in pretty dresses and shiny hair, and tries to find people who match your checklist of curiosity. 

'Hmmmm, you', you confide and gift him a smile, leaning against his shoulder as you proceed eyeing the mass of dancing people. 

Kai thinks you are joking. It must be that you simply didn't find someone yet. You always get into a conversation with at least one stranger and start laughing with them, leaning against them, holding their hand. At least those are the actions that Kai is able to register. He doesn't look at you throughout the whole night, so he can only imagine how close you get with others when he is not looking. At latest when it is time to go home, you long to him. That is the routine he learned over the years. You get drunk and become more outgoing, clingy, and direct that to people who intrigue for some hours, and then you return to him and continue a past conversation you shared as if nothing happened. 

'You'll return to me anyway. Just go and have some fun', he says, meaning to let you know that he is waiting for you in case you want to leave, but the sentence came out complacent, pretty smug in a way that he didn't know he could sound like.  

'Oh? You're very confident when it comes to me, huh?', you laugh, and the teasing raise of your eyebrows makes him blush. You never looked at him that way. He only ever observed it when you were flirting with someone else. With him, you usually stick to being playful in a rather cute way, laughing like a child as he feels like one himself when he is with you. It is carefree and innocent and even though he does sometimes question his own intentions, whether he might find himself wanting to explore the friendship with you in a mutually committed relation, he always forces his thought to quickly return to reality. He is scared of what would happen if he goes to that place where is with the imaginary you in close proximity that is guaranteeing something different that he has with you right now. He might not be able to return from thinking about you in a less innocent way, and that wouldn't be fair to you, he believes. 

Kai looks away and clears his throat. 

'Didn't mean it like that', he mumbles and occupies himself with sipping on a drink that Yeonjun brought to the table some minutes ago, before he vanished back onto the dance floor, shaking his booty in everyone else's agony that conceals the overall amusement people are too embarrassed to admit when the alcohol level isn't that high yet. 

'You're not wrong', you say and smile, a hint of shyness now also evident on your cheeks. 

'I always think I should go out and meet new people to see if I finally find someone I like, but-'

Kai listens closely, trying to figure out how clouded your mind already is based on your word flow. You speak loud and clear, with less hesitance than he knows you struggle with on a day to day basis. As much as he hates you drinking, knowing that your consciousness becomes blurry, he does believe you benefit from the seldom clarity of speech. It is like your body lacks so much energy that your tongue receives it all to pronounce every word perfectly without a slur of doubt and end every sentence in patience. He enjoys your demeanour changing. He enjoys you demanding attention that you avoid taking up when you're sober. 

He anticipates you continuing to speak. The pause isn't awkward. As you take another sip from the whiskey mix in your cup, he searches for the drink cover scrunchie in his pocket. He hands it over to you and waits until you pull it over the edges, protecting your drink from being harassed by malicious strangers. 

'- every time I talk to someone else, I start to compare them to you', you end your sentence and add a thanks for the cup lid. 

The smile you give him when you realize that he bought and thought of bringing an item that supports your safety causes him to buzz of energy, ready to tackle everything that gets in your way of being anything less than perfectly comfortable. He can't but let out a chuckle, entertained by the contrast of your fast words and slow situational perception. 

'What's there to compare?', he wonders, mumbling more to himself than to directly ask you, but you apparently plan on sticking to your plan of spending the night with him, because you sit down on the bench and tug on his sleeve to signify him doing the same. You take another big sip from your cup and immediately hold your head, a sign of you being incredibly dizzy now. Instinctively, Kai circles his arm around your shoulder and pulls you against him to give your wobbly body stability, restraining you from falling off the wooden surface. 

'I should take a break', you laugh and attempt on lacing the empty cup on the table in front of you, but you miss several times, so Kai takes your wrist and maneuvers your hand into the right direction with the right sense of distance. Another chuckle escapes you, and his heart imitates the rhythm like an echo. 

★~・🩵・~★

You drank more than you planned to, but is it your fault when you had access to some surprisingly delicious drinks? It's not like you are doing this every weekend, so it should be fine, right? Justifying questions bounce through your head as you are trying to put one foot in front of the other to keep up with your friends. Their words and laughters echo gently through the street, and you enjoy how calm they are even after a full night of partying and consuming alcohol. 

'You can't let one party go without chatting up at least two women, can you?', Yeonjun asks Taehyun, who is happily grinning at his phone screen, on which probably messages under the new collection of numbers are appearing. 

'They're gorgeous. I'm gorgeous. They like me. I like them. It would be a waste of experience if mutually interested people ignored each other', he explains and frantically types on his phone. You bet he's incorporating several typos, not only due to excitement. 

'Let me check before you send', Kai pleads and takes Taehyun's phone, the contrast of clouded minds evident based on their movements alone. 

Your own mind is sabotaging any smooth succession of steps, and you are clumsily bumping into Kai's arm. Not knowing how to help yourself, you hold onto him, causing him to stop and look at you with a gentle smile. The others don't register that you two stopped walking. 

'Wanna read?', Kai whispers, tilting the phone screen into your direction. It isn't the most polite thing to do, just leaking Taehyun's chats, but honestly speaking, sooner or later either Taehyun himself would send screenshots into the shared group chat, bragging how wonderful the people he collects happen to be, indirectly sharing how happy he is, or Kai would just sneakily tell you when you two are sitting together exchanging the newest gossip. 

'No, thakns', you slur in a whisper, your head spinning and the ground weirdly unstable. 

'Thakns?', Kai chuckles, gaining awareness of how gone you are. 

Absentmindedly, you tap against his hand, and he looks down at it, wondering what you are pointing at. 

'May I hold?', you ask, desperately looking at him, because you can't think of anything better than holding hands to ground yourself. 

'Ay! Did you just want to steal a phone?', Beomgyu yells from several meters in front of you, and Kai quickly opens his hand and anticipates you, laying yours onto his palm. With a gentle tug, he pushes his fingers between yours and pulls your hand into perfect alignment with his own. He starts walking carefully and observes your ability to follow until you are next to your friends again. 

Kai slips the phone with the corrected messages into Taehyun's hand and laughs at him for making an abundance of absurd typos while you trace your thumb along Kai's warm skin on his soft palm. At one point, you lift his hand to be able to watch the way your finger presses into him because you are fascinated by how warm he is in contrast to your tired freezing body. You have to see that he is real. Besides, it is a great distraction from the fact that you have absolutely no strength to control your body beyond the well trained automatic movements of walking, and even those appear to be a challenge. 

Yeonjun is looking at you weirdly, and you let yourself fall back half a step to be shielded by Kai's frame. You hear a distant chuckle and let your head fall against Kai's arm in embarrassment. He pulls his hand away from yours and hurries to circle his arm around you, offering his hand on the other side of your body for you to take again, while embracing you in maximum stability that he has to offer in this moment. 

The close proximity warms you up, and despite the surroundings appearing blurry and bizarre to your drugged mind, you feel safe and happy. A little giggle slips out of your lips, and as you are pushing yourself a bit closer against Kai to cope with your embarrassment once again, he tightens his embrace with a low chuckle himself. You wonder if the others are able to see you or if they are too deeply invested in their own business right now. However, Kai's warmth and care are too overwhelmingly beautiful for you to worry about much else. He continues talking to the other's as if nothing is going on and in your next moment of consciousness you find yourself in his room whining about just sleeping on the sofa in the living room, not wanting to take up his space.

'If you can let go of my hand and walk over there yourself, I let you sober up alone', he announces and you feel your stubbornness causing you to let go of him, but after only two steps towards the door you stumble and almost hit the floor if Kai hadn't caught you as if he was already waiting for you to trip. 

'M sorry', you sigh ashamed and clutch onto him, believing to not be able to get through the night without him holding onto you. 

'It's okay. It's all good', he assures, and you find his gentle smile welcoming you into a zone of serenity. 

'I shouldn't've drank s'much', you chuckle and help Kai pulling you up by pushing your feet against the floor, an action that feels unfamiliar to you, as if you had to calculate how the surface behaves in regards to your movements against it. 

'Hmmm, you enjoyed yourself', he hums and sits you onto his bed. 

'Let's just make sure you sleep it off', he advises and pulls the blanket back to lay you down.

'I'll make your bed stink', you warn, but he just shakes his head in an amused smile. 

'That's only post sleep relevance. All there is to do now is sleep a bit', he explains and maneuvers you to lay down, pointing at the floor where he deposited a bucket in case you need to throw up and you barely register your own voice when you ask him to sleep next to you because you want to keep holding his hand. You already closed your eyes when he takes up half of the bed, keeping a respectful distance with only his arm extended and his hand covering yours. 

★~・🩵・~★

Kai can't fall asleep, not with you laying so close to him, not when you overdid it so much that not just your body's abilities but also your speaking decreased over the span of hours. The up and down of you sobering up a little, only to get more drunk again, is fun to watch as long as he remains hopeful for you to not suffer too much the next day. He never experienced you having a hangover, but that only resulted in you insisting on being brought home where you sleep it off alone. This time, there is no chance for him to be fine with you being alone, not when you can't even walk by yourself. 

You dozed off in mere minutes, and Kai doesn't know what to do rather than adjusting the blanket around you. He listens to the voice of his friends fading as everyone is making their way to their rooms. The front door opens and closes, and Kai checks his phone only to find the expected message of Taehyun in the group chat that he is going to visit one of his new friends from tonight. 

'You need to sleep, too', he hears you mumbling and turns on his side to catch a look at your scheme in the dark.

'I will', he assures and softly runs his fingertips over your closed eyes, a warm sensation that he knows calms you. He has done it several times when he spent time with you during days you were a bit sick or simply exhausted but tortured by a stressed out mind. 

'When?', you ask in a yawn, and Kai wonders if you were even asleep or if his own mind plays tricks on him. 

'Soon', he responds, determined to wait until you are properly resting first. 

'I'm going to ask you out t'morrow', you sigh, and he hears you nuzzling into the pillow. His mind is definitely playing tricks on him, and he decides when out of nowhere he imagines you nuzzling your sleepy face into his shirt. 

'You don't have to say yes', he listens to your mumble getting more and more silent. 

'Just be prepared for me confessing. You're the sweetest, How could I not?'

He laughs, his breath fanning over your face, and he hopes it doesn't stink too much, but then again, you probably can't even concentrate on something vague as a scent in your state. It is interesting to him that the thought of changing the sheets tomorrow while you take a long shower only to cuddle with you back in bed, getting it to smell like you after all. It doesn't even have to be anything but platonic. He always enjoys a cuddling session with you and the remaining whiff of your presence after you leave. However, now he questions if there might be a day he wants anyone else's presence imprinted into his space. 

'What if I were faster?', he experimentally whispers, observing how he feels verbalizing the existence of the locked up corners of his mind. 

'What if I told you that I can't imagine liking anyone as irrefutable and as securely as I like you? What if-'

Your snoring interrupts his list, and he surpasses a laughter by pressing this face into the mattress until his nose hurts. The sting reminds him to stay quiet as he turns around again, finally allowing himself to fall asleep. He is so close to drifting off completely when he hears your giggle and your tired yet clear whisper.

'I like you, too'. 

It might just be his mind playing tricks, building up dreams already, but maybe he perceived correctly. His body slums against the mattress with no notion of conscious movements for the next hours and when he wakes up to your side of the bed being empty, his closet open and clothes evidently pulled out and the sound of  the shower running, he exchanges the bed sheets with fresh ones. Just like he planned, he proceeds to make his room comfortable. He lies back down and opens the delivery app, daydreaming about the richness of a proper breakfast, and then his mind becomes playful again. This time he lets it wander down the path of the locked up corners, glimpsing into sequences of imaginary scenarios in which you return from the shower and drop down on top of him or him going to pick you up from the bathroom, carrying you back to bed bridal style. He smiles at his thoughts. The anticipation of them being scary, too impactful for his friendship with you, couldn't have been more off. He thinks of the daisies on the kitchen counter and enjoys how traces of you are spread all over his home. With new access of comfort in form of knowledge about himself and his wishes for an ideal reality, he continues waiting for you, full of curiosity about how this day will proceed, grateful to have you in his life regardless of specifics. 

[life-of-an-asexual]

a month ago you've answered a question from me, which i appreciate greatly. i don't really use tumblr so i only read it just now, thank you. it gives me a bit of closure knowing it's not a unique experience, and yeah, i probably needed to hear that i don't need to justify it. i have a tendency to look at everything like a thing that needs fixing, it's probably the first time i feel this lost about something i can't fix. it's gotten pretty complicated, i love my partner to bits, i want to be with them forever, care for them. i find them beautiful, kind, sweet, we're good friends. we're gonna marry soon, it makes me happy, i can't imagine my life without them, and without me by their side. i know it's like that the other way around too. other than the sex thing it's just perfect. they don't expect sex from me but have opened up that my lack of attraction makes them feel awful and unloved, and it's something they don't control really. there are times when they are a bit upset, cold. not intentionally, just feeling hurt and lacking self-confidence. meanwhile a lot of the kind of pure, romantic, naive poetic love i have for them just doesn't get to them most of the time. it's not their fault, and it's not really about doing the deed itself, as much as just finding them sexually appealing. i find them beautiful, but apparently that's different. it's hard for me to grasp. they decided it'd be better if we remained platonic as to not complicate it, remain devoted to eachother the way old couples are. but they're important to me, i want to make them feel loved, i'm ready to make sacrifices, but i'm not sure how i would even do that. i don't expect an answer, but maybe sharing this will find someone who has been in similar place and found a resolve. thank you for taking your time reading this, i won't mind if i don't receive a reply or it gets delayed, it's a tough situation for me, it must be even tougher to figure out if it's not you in that position. i'll appreciate any thoughts about it still.

once again apologies for taking so long to answer; i've been recovering from burnout and also traveling. i am glad to hear that my reply helped you somewhat. i think it's good that you've decided to be platonic and that your partner is understanding of that, at least

regarding the "sexual attraction" issue, it's really something i've never understood. i mean, sure if you feel a specific intense attraction/desire/feeling for your partner, it's gratifying to know they feel it in return. but this hang-up allos have about knowing that their partner feels specifically sexual attraction has always been beyond me

you love him, you find him attractive, you are absolutely devoted to him, willing to make sacrifices, you are committed to spending your life with him. the fact that it is just the lack (for want of a better term) of sexual attraction that causes him so much distress, despite the multitude of evidence of your love, is baffling to me

i don't know. i don't have an easy answer for you on that. it seems it might be connected to some other personal self-worth issues he has. maybe it's something you can talk about and work through together; maybe it's something he'll have to come to terms with on his own

my only recommendation is that you don't bend too far over backwards trying to "prove" anything to him. continue to communicate, express your love as you do, but if he wants to be with you, your not feeling sexual attraction is something he's just going to have to make peace with

i worry you might do something to hurt yourself again in an effort to "make up" for that, so make sure to practice being aware of your own feelings and boundaries. feel free to message again if you feel the need to. i wish you well, anon!

~Mod Q

[binary5tar1117]

I hit a point on my smut fic where it isn't flowing anymore. But I'm far enough along I'm confident at some point I'll tell myself to just finish it and when I go back and reread it I'll be able to get into it enough to wrap it up

So I decided to move on to another idea I had. Which is like a dnd inspired fae au. Actually mostly inspired by a court of fae and flowers the dimension20 season. It's still the best season I've watched so far. It's more like half dnd fae half bidgerton.

Ive basically been living in this fic all weekend, like it's keeping me up at night but I almost don't care because I'm that into it. It keeps flowing really nicely without much planning and in a way that feels like a real story and not... just people fucking. Which dont get me wrong is fun. But a real story makes me feel like a better writer which is more satisfying.

I almost never finish these types of fics though so.... no one get excited.

Details and spoilers for a moral dilemma I have created for myself in the fic below the cut. I don't know how to warn exactly but minor tw "playing hard to get" mentality and the ickyness that can come from that.

I also had a really angsty thought last night that I think works really well but I don't know how to resolve it in a satisfying way. Or at least in a way I feel readers will find satisfying. Because there's a pretty clear red line crossed, people feel terrible and talk and forgive each other. Even though it's fantasy I think the situation is really realistic. But it's also a situation that the internet at least has little forgiveness for.

Wooyoung is a powerful sort of like demi God level fae. His "domain" is charm and attraction and he sort recharges his magic through physical touch. Not just sex but ya know that works too (though not actually any better than cuddling.)

San ends up making a warlock pact with him to save his sister. Wooyoung is very upfront about how his magic works and does not at all demand or expect sex or any sort of touching from San. But eventually they get to the point where they are comfortable enough for Wooyoung to be more clingy and flirty. And though another thing that happens, Wooyoung realizes San is very much attracted to him and pursues him. San as good as says he's just playing hard to get. Wooyoung really does nothing wrong.

But San is resisting more from emotional complications. I mean mortal and fae, patron and warlock plus Yeosang... it's complicated. Wooyoung maybe kinda gets this but it's never spelled out.

Anyway Wooyoung kinda corners San and with some magic sex pollen type shenannigans, San gets pushed past his comfort level. They don't have sex, it's just basically a really intense make out session.

But San in his kinda worked up state, accuses Wooyoung of assuming San was playing hard to get when he really wanted none of it. Saying hes been pushing him too much all along. Which is true again in an emotional sense but not in the physical.

But Wooyoung takes it in the physical sense which San intends at the moment. And he is understandably upset and apologetic. He tries very hard to recognize that his magic, the thing that makes him him, has the ability to make people very uncomfortable. He tries so very, very hard to be considerate and /good/ about it. (He's a good boy, the bestest alright?) And to find out he hurt/upset someone he cares about, even after trying so hard to be careful... it's understandably distressing for him.

When Yeosang hears about this, he tear's San a new one because he knows exactly what's going on. Two of the three idiots in love make up... mostly because San has some words for Yeosang during that convo too, so there's still that aspect.... and the story continues.

The problem is, while I think that it's obvious San was more in the wrong, people can be weird about that sort of fuzzy-ish consent. I shouldn't care but I do. I'll be so sad if people hate Wooyoung for it.

I am also struggling with how Wooyoung will ever be able to trust San again if he pulls this. It's such an important core belief type thing for him that having it disrespected and turned against him... there's really no way for San to make it up to him, right? Wooyoung just has to choose to forgive and trust him again. Which I don't think is bad necessarily. People fuck up, even this bad, and it's okay to forgive sometimes. But that's another thing the internet is pretty iffy on. One mistake on this level is tantamount to murder and unforgiveable. Which again I shouldn't care. I'm usually good at not caring, but I kinda do in this case.

And then I question... is it too ooc to have San do that? Which is maybe why i care about readers opinions so much.. because I'm unsure. I dunno I think I'll just have to get there and write it and see how it plays out.

[thoughtsineedtoletout]

The Tortured Poets Department

Track 4 - Down Bad

The premise of this track is the narrator reminiscing about a time she was abducted by aliens and went on an expedition discovering a world beyond what she knew, feeling as if she was chosen for this extraordinary life, but was then abruptly sent back to where she came from.

The narrator uses this as a metaphor for someone showing her love in a way she's never experienced before, but then they just precipitously dropped her back at square one, leaving her with all these newfound experiences and perspectives. Now she's down bad, cryin' at the gym. I think it also depicts how they were from different worlds and he couldn't assimilate into hers, so he left.

Down bad is a colloquialism for being in a state of mind where you are desperate for something you strongly desire, usually unrequited feelings of infatuation or attraction. Often resulting in the loss of all rational thinking.

The narrator is so enmeshed in this feeling that she is crying and behaving like a petulant teenager, saying fuck it, if I can't have him and I might just die, it would make no difference. These hyperbolic and fatalistic emotions are very much the representation of when your feelings are heightened and you cannot be reasoned with.

Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up // Fuck it if I can't have us // I might just not get up, I might stay // Down bad

She is trying to impel him to return by cursing at the sky and willing him to come back and take her back with him.

The second verse has the narrator asking did you take all my old clothes // just to leave me here, naked and alone. This suggests that she was left in a vulnerable state and all her comforts taken from her, along with her old perspectives of the world. She goes on to say he left her in her same old town that seems hollow now, indicating and reiterating how her worldview has changed now and without him, everything feels meaningless.

They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about // the existence of you

I think this is the narrator relaying that people didn't approve of him and she can't talk about him because they would think she was crazy to still be so infatuated by this person that didn't belong in her world.

She then goes on to say she'll build a fort on some planet // where they can all understand it. She wants people to understand she is in love and that they do belong together and she is willing to find a place in this world where someone will understand them being together.

The bridge goes on to say that she loved the experience with him and she's so upset that it's over, she can't even actually bring herself to say that it is; the lyric cuts off before it the word 'over' is said. She is distressed and exclaims how dare you think it's romantic // leaving me safe and stranded.

This tells us that the person she was with felt like she would be better off and safer without him. This makes her mad because it isn't romantic, it takes away her agency and ability to make decisions on her own terms. He just makes the decision for her and it is unfair to not even discuss it, he just unexpectedly drops her off where she started.

I suspect the position Taylor was in before this encounter was during a heartbreak she thought she had healed from, before this person came and love bombed her with promises of a new and sparkling life, only to have him suddenly desert her, returning her to the place of heartbreak she thought she had healed from.

She says in the outro that this experience made her feel like she lost her twin. I believe this is in reference to a 'twin flame'. She considers this person her twin flame; this is a new-age ideology of spirituality.

It describes a twin flame as having an inner pull towards another person, feeling as if you have met before and have always known one another, the passion between these people is incredibly intense. However, given this level of intensity, it is common for the relationship to break down as it is difficult to manage the fervor that comes with it.

Twin flames are destined to have fiery, passionate relationships that cannot be a lifelong event, rather they enter your life for a period and impact your life in a way that veers you onto the life path you are intended for.

Back to list of analyses.

[ask-the-identity-5-senses]

"Duos? We've already tested out a duo match together! Oh- I spent the whole time on the merry go round, he shouted at me for not decoding but I hardly gave him any thought on the manor." Therese did dearly miss Cardinal, so of course the merry go round attracted her like a magnet to metal. "Perhaps next time I'll keep a closer distance to his side to watch the show."

She took a deep sigh of relief, glad that she was understood so simply. Even more thankful that it wouldn't be too long until the oil slicked and they'd begin working like clockwork as a team. Comfort was successfully transferred between the pair and she did feel a little better knowing that.

"Thank you so much, I too think you're quite the dear! Not many people are so quick to offer help and advice so." She gave a sheepish smile, whilst the princess did feel fairly out of her element... It was nice to have support right off the moment she stepped off a platform upon ice.

"I understand that, I wouldn't mind waiting to meet Mr Strickland at all. Whatever time suits everyone best. You can never really catch me on an off day." It would be far more challenging to find her in a bad mood despite the grim surroundings. That and her yellow dress certainly made for her own sunny spotlight that followed her with every bouncy step.

Her face saddened slightly at the information the teenager, one being so young. While she was sure the 'hero' could fend for himself and wasn't as defenceless as she was once upon a time, she still couldn't help but find the thought of a young man in this amount of trouble distressing. "I find it honestly quite admirable that a young gentleman such as himself can cope better than some of us adults." She hummed with a chirp. "Good for him!"

Therese was making connections left, right and center. Look at her, she was absolutely nailing this. "I'll be sure to take that offer once again! Artists can be such-... Well, artists I suppose." She hadn't really thought that sentence through and made off with a fluttery chuckle. Yup. Not very creative checks out.

"I'll definitely be sure to find some suggestions in the library! My, now I'm so curious as to what this contains for books. I didn't expect to come here and find a book-buddy but, friends come in the most unexpected places!" How interesting that she and Miss Nettle had such similar interests but also mannerisms and courtesies. Her education must've been top of the line, let alone being of higher class social circles and of grandeur.

"Hehe, and I hope so too!"

The faint clicking of heeled boots echo down the manor halls as a survivor carrying a small cookie tin approaches Therese. "Good afternoon! I don't believe I've gotten the chance to formally make your aqquatiance yet." She paused, eyeing the extravagant detailing on the other's gown. A silent confirmation to her of sorts. "Are you perhaps one of the manor's newer residents?"

-ξ(❁) ⊕) ξ

(( @manor-tea-time AAAAA you have so many cool skrunkles!! I hope its chill for me to throw Ivy at your gal -w-

Therese who hadn't expected a visitor was momentarily gazing out of a window, only noticing the other woman once she spoke up. Her eyes lit up at the opportunity to converse, something that she hadn't really gotten the chance to do yet.

She clasped her gloved hands together, holding them close to her chest as she nodded.

"Yes! I am one of the new residents of Oletus." She cleared her throat, hoping she didn't appear too excited or forward. That would be the fastest way to embarrass herself in front of a new acquaintance.

Out of instinct, she did a small curtsy.

"My name is Therese, Therese Beatrice Bernadotte. My apologies for not introducing myself sooner to you and other residents, I have been quite busy getting situated..." She smiled, before folding her arms politely over her body and clasping her hands together once again.

"And you are?"

// YOUR OCS ARE ALL SO COOL AAAA SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM INTERACT WITH MINE RWGHHHH HI!!

[rintaroll]

❝ *･🎥 ·̩͙ TRUTH OR DRINK ❞ | exes edition

[ tags : suggestive, slight timeskip spoilers? hints on exes to lovers trope :D ]

[ truth or drink m.list ] 

you : i'm y/n.

atsumu : and i'm atsumu.

you : and... we dated for three years.

the video cuts to a text on a white background. the text says, 'these exes will ask each other a set of random questions. they can either answer the question or take a shot.'

[were you guys in love?]

atsumu : yeah.

atsumu sees you give a firm nod with a tight lipped smile from the corner of his eyes.

[when did you guys break up?]

you : um... it's been almost a year i think?

atsumu : it'll be a year next week.

both of you share a look before you turn your head back to the camera.

you : so, yeah. almost a year.

atsumu : ya ready?

you : mhm.

he picks a card from the stack in front of him before reading it out loud.

atsumu : why'd we break up?

he notices how you fumble with your own hands.

you : for me, i think i wanted to give you space, i guess. you were so focused on… you know... practice, and promotions and stuff. you were busy, and i thought i was just…

atsumu :

you : weighing you down.

you finally find the courage to return his gaze. he opens his mouth, only to immediately close it again.

[what about you?]

atsumu : me?

atsumu looks at the director behind the camera and points to himself. the director nods.

atsumu : um…

you catch something flicker in his eyes.

atsumu : i jus' felt like… i wasn't being the best boyfriend for ya. thought ya deserved someone who can actually give ya their time and, uh... yeah...

you :

atsumu : so i let ya go.

there's a few seconds of awkward yet comfortable silence that blankets the room when you and atsumu finally look at each other again. breaking eye contact, you whip your head towards the director.

you : can we still take a shot even after answering?

the scene cuts to both of you clinking your glasses and downing your shot together with smiles etched onto your faces.

after reading the next card, you stifle a giggle that's rising from your throat.

you : rate- oh god- rate me in bed, and how can i improve?

atsumu : what?

you : rate me in be-

atsumu : no, no i heard ya the first time-

atsumu looks at the director behind the camera.

atsumu : i'm... i'm takin' a shot.

you gasp comically, laughing.

you : you'd rather take a shot than answer that question?

atsumu : ... yes?

you : ... how– how low is my score?

atsumu : it's not low– ya try answerin' it then!

you : well, i personally think you're a solid 8 out of 10.

atsumu : an eight?

you : next question!

atsumu : wait, wait, wait, i want an explanation-

atsumu : were ya attra–

you snort at the sight of him groaning before finishing the question, smacking the card right side down on the table.

atsumu : i don't even have to ask this. i know what yer gonna answer.

you : what's the question?

atsumu : ... were ya attracted to any of my friends while we dated?

your hand flies up to cover your mouth as you let out a laugh. atsumu looks into the camera like he's in an office episode with a deadpan expression on his face.

atsumu : see?

you : whaaat? i only said he looked so much better since high school!

atsumu : no, ya said he looked so much hotter since high school.

you : i mean… am i wrong…?

you laugh at atsumu when when he scoffs and crosses his arms.

atsumu : i'm tellin' suna-

you : WAIT NO- 'tsumu you can't just say his name like that!

it's atsumu's turn to laugh at your distress, making you squint your eyes at him.

you : i hate you.

atsumu : no ya don't.

you :

atsumu :

you : ... unfortunately.

atsumu flashes his signature handsome grin at the camera.

you : alright, next one.

atsumu : mhm.

you : is there anything you want to apologize for?

atsumu drums his fingers against the surface of the table absentmindedly before answering.

atsumu : sorry for forgettin’ our third year anniversary-

you :

you : ah.

atsumu : -and for not returnin’ the shirokuma plushie i won for ya during our, what, third? third date?

your jaw slowly falls open.

you : oh, i forgot about that- was it that time you spent hours at the claw machine and-

atsumu : ya left me to get mcdonald’s.

both of you laugh, reminiscing on the spontaneous arcade date that happened when you just started dating.

atsumu : can't believe i spent an hour tryin' to get that for ya and all ya gave me was a few soggy fries.

you : you should feel honored! i never share my food.

atsumu rolls his eyes playfully at you while chuckling.

you : how is shirokuma anyways? you brought it with you that time you stayed at tokyo right?

atsumu : yeah. ‘cause it smelled like ya.

you : huh?

atsumu : nothing. anyways-

you : wha-

atsumu : -d’ya want it back? i can drop by yer place some time and give it to ya if y'want.

you : oh, sure. i swear if he looks different than the last time i saw him-

atsumu : i took good care of 'im i promise!

you :

atsumu : what?

you : i don't trust you.

atsumu's jaw drops as the room is filled with the crew's laughter. you stick your tongue out at him.

atsumu : are ya ready for the next one?

you : yup.

atsumu : alright-

he clears his throat dramatically before reading the question out loud.

atsumu : i dare ya to kiss me on the mouth, take two shots to get out of it.

there's another pause of silence, and you pretend not to see the tips of atsumu's ears growing slightly redder as he looks away.

you : i- um. uh-

atsumu : ya don’t have to do it-

you : no, it’s fine. actually i think i’d much rather kiss you than take two shots of whiskey-

atsumu : oh, uh, alright then.

you : yeah. alright. so, um-

atsumu leans forward with his forearms resting on the table while you stand up from your seat. bending over the surface, you finally kiss atsumu for the first time ever since your break up. from how his lips moving lightly against yours, to how his fingers graze your jaw; the familiarity of it all sends chills down your spine. you’re quick to pull away and sit back down, looking at the crew behind the camera for approval while atsumu stares at you. ignoring the jitters at the pit of your stomach, you gulp before breaking silence.

you : was that... good enough?

[yeah, you can go move on to the next question now.]

atsumu : wow, this one’s kinda...

you let out a small groan.

you : what is it?

atsumu : uh- what’d it take for us to get back together?

you : oh.

atsumu : um...

you : we’d have to talk it out first i guess... we haven’t really sat down and talked to each other properly for a year.

atsumu : that's fair.

you nod. atsumu nods along with you.

[so both of you would consider getting back together?]

atsumu : depends on them.

he motions to you.

you : sure.

atsumu : is this the last question?

you : yeah.

you take the last card, fingers brushing against atsumu’s for a quick second but you’re quick to pull away.

you : do you- oh... uh-

your eyes flicker to atsumu’s questioning ones before going back to your card.

you : do you still love me, did you ever love me?

atsumu : i... of course i did.

you : me too.

atsumu : actually...

you : hm?

atsumu : i still do.

there's unmistakeable sincerity shining in atsumu's eyes, and suddenly you're looking at the same person you fell head over heels in love with four years ago.

you : i... i do too.

atsumu :

you :

atsumu :

you : ... now what?

everyone breaks into laughter, including you and the blonde before you. the scene slowly fades to black after the producer yells 'that's a wrap!' and voices belonging to you and atsumu slowly fade as atsumu tells you that he's taking you home.

*･🎬 ·̩͙ special cut

you take yet another card from the pile, ready for another difficult question, but after giving it a onceover, your eyes widen and your hand clamps over your mouth.

atsumu : what does it say?

you :

atsumu : let me see-

atsumu takes the card from your limp hand and reads part of it aloud.

atsumu : do i ever pop into your head when yer mas- oh.

you shake your head vigorously while atsumu laughs.

you : i don't wanna know.

atsumu : ya go answer it then.

you : i-

atsumu raises an eyebrow.

you : no. absolutely not. i'm taking a shot.

atsumu : does that mean ya–

atsumu laughs harder as you glare at him despite your burning cheeks. the scene cuts to both of you downing a shot, this time with your eyes avoiding him and atsumu with a smirk on his face.

atsumu : so...

you : shut up.

[milomi]

Uuuu, this is so much different from what I had imagined earlier

I'm not even sure how to feel about the end result 🫥

But, it's better than nothin'

Hey, at least now I get to say I did something while having my hair dyed

Not sure how to explain it, there was a strange feeling tugging and twisting the inside of your chest. It felt like having butterflies in your stomach, if only the butterflies were instead replaced by a swarm of bees.

Maybe it was the idea of your best friend proposing to an unknown ghost-lady. Sure, he was doing for everybody's sake; to save Idia's life. He wasn't the only doing it either. But amongst the other candidates: Heartslabyul's housewarden, Vice-Housewarden of Pomefiore and a fellow freshman from that same dorm, the thought of their proposals didn't make you feel uneasy. Maybe a bit sympathetic or worried.

Not to say you weren't worried about Ace, no, that would be an understatement. I mean, what if the plan didn't work? There are many ways in which it could fail, like what if your friends' proposals don't work and you all face the same end as the previous suitors; getting slapped and becoming 'frozen'.

But... The most prominent (and worst) failure your mission could cause, would be a proposal gone a little too well. What if, Eliza is so smittened by the dashing ginger-haired young man, that she accepts the engagement. What if the ring doesn't work, or it's put on the wrong fingers, or anything else that would be a fail.

As one of the vows states:

Till death do us part

And when one of them is already dead, what fate will await the other?

" Hey Prefect~ What do you think, am I nailing this look? "

Ace's question threw you off your train thought of disasters.

In front of you stood Ace Trappola, your best friend, in a plaid suit and his bangs clipped back.

It was... Certainly unusual to see him in a such a get-up and, you couldn't deny, there was something charming in the way he smiled, awaiting your answer.

" If I were Eliza, I..., " you started and stopped immediately after processing the words you just said.

If I were Eliza

If I were the dead ghost bride forcing one of the NRC students to marry her

Maybe given the circumstances, you could still turn this into a compliment. Buuut, that would require you to admit he looked attractive awesome.

He looked awesome.

" ...You look good, " you simply stated, ignoring the whole 'If I was a dead bride'.

The ginger boy had the audacity to snicker at your awkwardness.

" Pfft, well, I guess I HAVE to believe it now, " he reached out his hand to ruffle your hair.

But not in the 'friendly friend way' more-so in the 'lmao are you flustered 🥺/j' way.

you would rather burn from embarrassment than endure his teasing

There wasn't much time to spare, the boys were working their butts off to become the most perfect princes they could be.

...All except Ace, who was nowhere in sight. And you, being the Prefect task manager school's errand person, were tasked with the job of finding him.

Walking out of Mister Sam's Mystery Shop, you didn't have to walk much further before you spotted familiarly clipped back bangs.

Though you could only see his back, he sure seemed awkward in this moment. Fumbling with some cards in his hands. He cleared his throat before starting to read from one of the cards.

" I'm the only one for you... No. That sounds...cheesy... "

He flipped through the cards as he started walking around, somehow not noticing you.

" No, no, man these all suck, " Ace quickly his the cards into one of his pockets, " Dude... Just, calm down. "

He stopped walking and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

" It's no big deal. You can— you HAVE to do it. "

" Just imagine the Prefect. Yeah... "

[...]

" No, for the love of the Great Seven, that'd make it even worse! "

The boy was distressed.

Also, just why would he need to imagine you?

Maybe it's like the thing people do when they're on stage and imagine the whole audience naked to laugh it o-

Oh

O H

You stood there for a second, not moving until you heard–

"–marry me? " and as he popped the question, Ace turned around and spotted you. " Oh hey pref– PREFECT?! "

" Hi. "

The boy was distressed x2.

" I liked it. "

(That's a lie, you didn't hear a single word of his proposal, only the ending)

The closer you got to him, the more red his face got.

" If I were Eliza... I'd certainly say 'yes'. "

[u1tr4vio1ence]

EYE OF THE STORM

CHAPTER VI: SPEAK OF THE DEVIL AND HE DOTH APPEAR

PAIRING(S) - Dion Agriche x (Fem.) Reader

DISCLAIMERS - Same as the first chapter.

CONTENT WARNINGS (CONTENT MAY CHANGE OVERTIME) - Same as the first chapter.

BEFORE YOU READ - Here is a link to the masterlist.

NOTES - I lived.

This literally took so long chap 6 sucks ass so I decided to rewrite the whole thing 💪. Anyways hope yall had a good Halloween! Mine was... 💀💀💀 what happens on halloweekend stays on halloweekend.

My lovely lovely beta reader – @the-d3vils-do11 babe, guess who's gonna make a cameo next chapter 😋😋😋

“Will that be all, my lady?”

“Yes, you may leave.” 

The butler quickly bows and turn to exit the balcony. You sank into your seat and started to wave the fan in your hand faster, brain overheating. 

Each failed candidate was another slap to your face. You have spent the last two days requesting assistance from butlers for the simplest tasks and your patience wears and tears each time you conclude that they weren’t fit to be of use to access the needed files. It has been difficult, some were far too bashful– having a blushing and stuttering mess would slow tasks down considerably. Others were far too cautious, their fear of Lante Agriche overshadowing their attraction to you. 

And now you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You either slowly continue this process that’ll take who knows how long to find the right accomplice or you’ll have to seek one out more actively which would result in you looking pathetically desperate to get someone on your side. The rate at that you’re calling for the house staff to pamper and coddle you made you seem pompous enough, a behavior that is nothing out of the ordinary for a Vespertine, but if you were to request assistance more frequently then surely you’ll become the talk of the manor more so than you already are… 

You fanned yourself harder. All of this thinking was doing you no good and the weather was not ideal. By this time of year, it should’ve cooled down by a considerable amount but the beaming rays of the sun are still as cruel and unforgiving as ever. Though your body suffers from the heat, the weather does make the gardens look rather nice from the balcony’s view; it was a pity that whenever you look at flowers all you can feel is disgust thanks to a certain incident around a week ago. Even now when you feel utterly restless, a part of you doesn’t feel comfortable strolling outside regardless of the fact that Sierra has already told you about the location of the gardens that were safe to enter. 

You sighed through your nose and set your fan down as you made the decision to take a stroll– not through the gardens– but perhaps near the fountains. As much as you want to avoid going outside to not look at any sort of greenery, you rather stay near cooling water than inside a manor where all the heat gets trapped in. 

One foot after the other, you then slowly make your way out with a heavy mind and never-ending thoughts. If- no, when you finally find yourself an easily seduced butler, you’ll need more than just tax files if you want to survive in the long run... What other uses out of a household servant can you make the best of? Stuck in the state of total contemplation, you missed the way that you took a wrong turn minutes ago. Your mind kept on pondering and pondering until-

“Oh, It’s you again.”

The voice pulled you out of your ocean of thoughts, so suddenly that it nearly made you flinch, but you kept an unstartled facade as you rotate your head toward the direction of the familiar tone.

“Jeremy,” you have to keep yourself from physically sighing, ”It’s nice to see you again.”

Your unenthusiastic tone betrays your polite words. You truly didn’t mean to sound so unpleasant but you didn’t want to deal with an overbearing Agriche child at your distressed state of mind.

You’re relieved that his reaction was merely to roll his eyes at you, he must be in a better mood compared to the first time you met him. You purse your lips and slightly straighten your posture– you need to keep a good attitude, Jeremy might be too young to make any executive decision about killing you but he’s still an Agriche through and through. 

“You know my name now. Been snooping around?” The corners of Jeremy’s mouth twitched upwards, eyes looking at you like he caught you red-handed.

You didn’t exactly know how to respond, slightly stunned, but you see him step forward as his smile goes wicked.

“Well, that explains why you’re here.”

…What?

You look around the hallway that you’re in and you realized what Jeremy meant. You took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in a hall that’s darker than any other that you’ve been in and the carvings on the wall seem more complex and elaborative. The surrounding decors were all gold with ruby gemstones and there were more extravagant paintings hanging all around you. This is someplace important.

Your heart starts racing, did you accidentally end up somewhere you’re not supposed to? 

“I…” your pride be damned, you rather get belittled as stupid than get labeled as suspicious.

“I made a wrong turn, I believe I’m lost.”

You look straight into the depths of the boy’s cobalt eyes, answering truthfully. The response you received was a bark of laughter.

“Oh I know! I wanted to rile you up, you should’ve seen the look on your face!” Jeremy’s grin was the size of a half-moon now.

“Sneaking around or not,” the teen’s laughter finally died down, “I know you don’t have the guts to go near father anyways.”

…So you’re near Lante Agriche.

The rational part of your psyche, the part that has kept you alive for all of these years, screams at you to turn around and be on your merry way, you have found where the lion’s den is and now you know how to avoid stumbling upon it. But the part of yourself filled with desperation, the part that’s been growing stronger and stronger ever since you stepped foot into this household, tells you that this is the perfect chance to find out how guarded Lante likes to keep this area. This section of the mansion probably holds the financial room too; you need to catch a glimpse of how generally secure Lante likes the area to be, in case your future co-conspiring butler isn’t as skilled as you hoped or even if you end up having to do it yourself, you need to prepare for every case possible. 

You clench your jaw and turned your body around and started walking back in the direction you were initially going.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going? And we’re not done talking!” Jeremy caught up, now walking side by side with you.

“If I turn around I’m bound to get confused and I’ll be walking in circles. Going straight ahead in a consistent direction will eventually lead to an exit outdoors, yes?” That was a split-second excuse that you thought of right at the moment, but it was true. The manor was built specifically to confuse intruders after all. Usually, the most obvious path ends up being an entrance to the outside, a way to keep invaders puzzled and away. You internally thanked yourself for pestering Sierra for extra details the night you turned to her for help.

“Well,” Jeremy’s eyes were slightly widened but he has a smirk on his face, “Maybe you do got the guts.” 

So you continued walking, you’re not sure where– mainly just turning whenever Jeremy turns. It was the easiest option anyways, he wouldn't stop talking to you, and walking with him near wherever Lante is seems much less concerning than you wandering alone. You caught a couple of doors, around three, where a guard was stationed right next to the entrance. It seems like there’s a guard per door and you don’t miss the large locks with the obvious magical crests engraved on them. Guards and enchantment… this is getting more and more difficult. 

“Are you even listening?”

Your eyes snap back to Jeremy. You’re not sure why he wants to make so much small talk, especially being very apparent about his distaste for the Vespertine bloodline last he saw you. Perhaps he really is in that good of a mood. 

“Yes, something about evaluations?”

“Charlotte was so confident that she’d get third seat this month. It’ll only be in a couple of moments but I can’t wait. When I get the score on paper she’ll be shattered! As if that spot is going to ever be taken from me!”

Or maybe he just needs someone to brag to.

From what you’ve been hearing he’s on his way to the Agriche’s head office to get a formal scoring on his evaluation and apparently he’s trying to crush Charlotte’s hope of being one of the top three scorers. You heard about Charlotte from Sierra and all you knew was she was a young hot-headed girl. If she’s even younger than Jeremy and nowhere near as skilled, then you doubt she’ll become something that you’ll have to stress over too often.

The both of you turned and a set of double doors came to view at the end of the hall. It was the most grandiosely designed door yet, even more so than the library’s. There’s no doubt that is Lante’s office. Your eye caught another hallway, just right of the office doors. You don’t know if you want to walk slower to postpone being in front of the room where Lante is or if you want to walk faster to escape already.

“Say,” you’re now trying to make conversation to calm your nerves, “How often do you and the others get an evaluation?”

“Once a month. By now, most of us that survived this long usually pass but when we fail, we get a punishment. The severity depends on how badly we messed up.” You recall seeing Fontaine on the ground pleading.

“The ones that do exceptionally well though, get rewarded,” Jeremy’s smirk returns, “That being me of course. When I started going to the banquet, my place there have never been filled by anyone else.”

Right, he mentioned earlier when you were looking out for guarded rooms about a banquet that Lante holds for his best-performing children.

“Oh! And Xana too of course!”

Xana… Roxana Agriche. It felt like eons since the last time you saw her, but the tea party was only a little over a week ago. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, you feel like you’ve been stuck with this family for months already. 

Lante’s office was close, too close for comfort. Less than ten feet away and Jeremy’s pace didn’t slow down.

“Does she hold the first seat?” 

Jeremy’s expression fell. 

“Tch…no.”

“Then who does?” You said on auto-pilot but you realized the answer the second the question left your lips. It was obvious.

Jeremy seem to be glaring at the air as he opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, the knobs of Lante’s office doors turn just a few feet ahead.

Speak of the devil. 

Your spouse closed the doors just as swiftly as he opened them. He was out of his uniform and training clothes but was still in all-black attire. With a pile of papers in one hand and his other hand in his pocket, Dion took all but two steps when he found his wife and younger half-brother standing in front of him. 

“Ugh… Dion.” Jeremy spat out with a tone more viscous than the one he was using while muttering profanities in the library the other day.

You’re not sure what expression you’re wearing but it made Dion’s eyes linger on Jeremy for a mere second before locking themself on you. His eyes were staring at yours again and you haven’t been this close to him since your wedding day. The discomfort in your chest builds up quickly; it was comparable to drowning, to the feeling of liquid filling up your lungs.

You can also feel Jeremy’s gaze bouncing between you and your spouse, curious to see who will speak first. You can’t take the unbearable silence of the moment any longer.

“Husband.”

“Wife.”

Jeremy grimaces in the corner of your eye– like while he was freely conversing with you he forgot the fact that you’re married to Dion, that you are indeed a wife of Agriche. You don’t take offense, you would love to join Jeremy in with the grimacing if you were not too busy being paralyzed. The day truly could not be any worse. You were having trouble with your plans, ran into Jeremy, who turned out to not be the worst company but now you ran into Dion of all people. Is Lante going to waltz out of his office next? 

The thought of that possibility alone was the final straw to your wavering patience, you nodded at your husband before turning your head towards his half-brother.

“I’ll get going, best of luck with the evaluation score, Jeremy.”

“No luck needed,” he scoffs, “Best of luck with not getting poisoned again.” 

You ignore the jab and made your way to the hall on the right, looking everywhere but at your husband who’s standing in the direction you’re headed. Your heart pounds slightly harder as you get near him and just when you were about to turn, just when you were shoulder to shoulder with him your feet stopped and rooted themselves to the floor at the sound of your name from coming out of Dion’s lips. 

Dion Agriche said your name in such an apathetic manner, as if you’re nothing but a speck of dust occupying his home— could be gotten rid of at any time but no one cares or bothers about something so inconsequential. You detest the way he reminds you of everything you’re trying to run away from, everything that you are. 

You slowly craned your neck up to look at him, even with your ankle-breaking high heels Dion is still taller than you. Now you stand directly next to him, shoulders so close they’re nearly touching and you can slightly smell him again. That somewhat sweet wood-like leathery scent with a hint of something metallic was lingering at the tip of your nose, making you question whether you hated it or found it pleasant. 

“… Yes?” Your voice ended up sounding meeker than you wanted it to. It was hard to mask yourself when all you could focus on was your field of vision which consisted of only Dion. You kept eye contact even though you wish you had the luxury to never lay eyes on him again, instincts akin to a prey being too paranoid to look away from a predator. 

“Father expects your presence at this month’s banquet.” 

Your eyes couldn’t stop themself from widening and blinking in shock at the sound of his statement. Your husband’s pupils constrict ever so slightly and moved up and down subtle enough that you would have never noticed if it weren’t for your close proximity. 

He was observing your reaction. 

An instant later he broke your stare down and started leaving, thankfully walking in a direction differing from the one you were headed. He didn’t utter a word to Jeremy, who you forgot was present in the scene, as he exits. Just as quickly as he appeared he was gone, like a shadow that one swore they saw but could never quite pinpoint from where. 

“I almost forgot about that.”

Your attention is back on Jeremy, now with Dion’s unnerving presence gone you can finally process what he told you. 

“I’m- I am invited to the evaluation banquet?... For whatever reason? I don’t even participate in those tests.” You really can’t catch a break. Not only are you going to be formally meet Lante but it’ll be over dinner with his most accomplished children– the spotlight would be on you and you’ll be psychologically dissected until you bend and break.

“There was actually supposed to be a dinner of introduction between you, Father, and the bastard Dion a while ago, but that got canceled since some hollow-skulled Vespertine had to wander around and got put out of commission,” Jeremy’s eyes narrowed at you as he insults, “Father decided to merge that meeting with the banquet. It’s nothing new, sometimes we get guests if some business dinner overlaps with the time of the monthly banquet.”

“... When is it? The banquet I mean.”

“Last day of the month.”

That’s the day after tomorrow.

Jeremy rested his hands behind his head, bored of the conversation, before stepping towards the office doors. You didn’t bother saying farewell before you finally pass Lante’s office, now walking with nothing to accompany you but the weakness of your heart and mind at that moment.

[shorkbrian]

So happy your requests are open and I don't mind the wait at all!

I just really want to see a sweet quirkless omega going into heat and sending her alpha Overhaul (Kai Chisaki) into a hard rut and he just pins her to a wall and fucks the life out of her before taking her to the bedroom to knot her.

but you do know that it would 100% be like "hate sex" on Chisaki's part (even though he kinda do like it lol)

(Kinda overhaul x reader x chrono btw but only for a little bit)

Just. Overhaul being able to tolerate you being kept at his compound because one, you're his mate, whether he likes it or not.

Two, you're quirkless.

And three? You don't bother him, you stay out of the way and you have passable hygiene when compared to Chisaki's standards.

But that has to be thrown out the window the second Chrono hauls you into Chisaki's office, the man in charge of watching you when Chisaki isn't around flustered and pink around his ears.

"B-boss, your omega, she's-"

"What the fuck is that smell." Chisaki growls, eyes immediately snapping to your trembling form. Taking in the way you're gasping, sweaty, barely able to stand even with Chrono's hand tight around your bicep and holding you up.

For some reason, the sight of Chrono touching you makes Chisaki itch. Odd, that usually wouldn't bother him.

The smell is cloying; too intense and too sweet, it makes his throat burn and his skin crawl.

"I think she's in-"

"Please, it hurts." You choke out, cutting off Chrono. "Need... I need-"

Chisaki recoiled as the scent got stronger, clouding his senses, making him feel... Chisaki didn't even know. Excited? Tingly?

Uncomfortable - he decided.

"Get her out. Give her a bath too, she smells disgusting." He commanded, but Chrono stepped forward instead of back out the door.

"Boss, she's in heat."

Heat?

Oh.

Overhaul cringed.

Logically, he knew it was going to happen eventually. But on the other hand, he had hoped his omega would be different. you was already quirkless, already pure... surely it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to assume that you wouldn't be affected by the mindless heat-addling that Omega's all seemed to undergo?

His irritation was rising.

"So?"

Chrono looked at his boss with questioning eyes, unsure what to do with the omega becoming increasingly more distressed at his side.

"You'll get her over it." Chisaki decides, ignoring the bitter taste that floods his mouth as he utters those words. His eyes slide over you again, lip curling into a disgusted sneer.

"Messy thing."

Chrono is frozen in disbelief. But this isn't a test of his loyalty, Chisaki truly doesn't want to deal with the germs and the mess and the cleanup associated with omega's during their heats. Slick everywhere, pheromones staining the room, needy hands touching everywhere-

"Sit her down on the couch." He instructs his second-in-command, rising from his office chair and stepping around his desk so he can close the door. "I want to make sure you don't damage her."

That's the only reason. Only reason he wants to be present and watching while Chrono fucks you through your heat.

"You're serious then?" The white-haired man asks, removing the plague mask he wears while inside the compound, thus beginning the process of disrobing.

Chisaki waved his hand idly, resuming his position in his office chair with a tired sigh. "It'd be such a chore for me to do it myself. Aren't you an alpha yourself Chrono? You should be jumping at the chance to bed a nice quirkless omega."

Chrono shrugs off his white coat, looking up from where you're panting on the couch while he stands in front of you, eyes finding his boss. "I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries with your property."

The brunette smiles, not that anyone can see, but it's clear he's pleased by the crinkle near his eyes, the relaxed way he slumps in his chair. "And that's why you're my favorite Chrono."

You're wearing what you usually wear - long pants, a cozy sweater. Overhaul hasn't heard you complain about the chill in the compound, but it's clear to see it affects you by the way you dress and the way your nose darkens from the cold.

You don't fight the half-naked Chrono as he helps you out of your sweater, unbothered by the temperature of the room and looking entirely too hot and sweaty.

Chisaki supposes it's good that you aren't fighting. You had at first, when he first brought you here, crying and pleading for him to let you go and leave you alone. That pathetic show was quickly shut down with a simple demonstration of Overhaul's quirk, and what he'd do to you if you didn't comply.

Now you're seemingly accepting of the situation, casting nervous glances towards Chisaki, your attention constantly getting stolen by the pale man stripping in front of you.

It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before Chrono has his cock in you.

And you look completely blissed out, mouth open and letting out choked little gasps on each thrust, one hand desperately trying to hold onto Chrono's shoulder, his arm, his chest - anything you can reach.

The other hand is on your stomach, and Chisaki doesn't understand why until he focuses on it, sees the distention whenever Chrono swings his hips into you.

Chisaki feels himself throb.

The sounds you're making sound like music. Awful music, all discordant and rushed and pornographic, stuttered breaths and pitiful cries, high-pitched and girlish moans in between Chrono's quiet huffs.

The sweet pheromones in the air become sweeter, thicker, and Chisaki can see the direct correlation between the smell and how much slick is dripping out of you, drenching Chrono's pretty cock, his stomach, even splattering his thighs on each thrust as his cock squelches deeper.

It's disgusting.

Digusting but curiously enamoring. Chrono's got you sitting on the couch, pushed up against the back while he fucks you. It's a tall piece of furniture, and Chrono merely hikes his leg up onto the cushions to gain a better angle to fuck you with. Your slick is everywhere; Chisaki knows that couch won't be salvageable after this. Somehow, he doesn't mind.

What he does mind, however, is the way Chrono is speeding up, rhythm stuttering and practically falling apart. He's going to knot you. Chisaki had given him full permission to - that's what taking care of an omega during their heat means, after all. But jealousy is boiling inside him, blood painfully engorging his cock, he feels tingly all over, very unlike himself.

He wants to touch you.

But you're a disgusting mess, smelling sweet and fertile and sweating and dripping everywhere. Chisaki can't believe he's feeling... attracted to you right now.

"O-ohh feels good, r-right there! Yes, thank you,t-than-" You mumble out, drunk on cock as you shudder through an orgasm, cream gushing out of your cunt and further dirtying Chisaki's office.

Chisaki sees red.

He's furious - not only at you, but at Chrono for touching you, and for himself for explicitly allowing it to happen. Chrono's about to knot you, claim you, and Chisaki is out of his chair before he knows what's happening.

"That's enough." And his gloved hands are ripping Chrono away from you, sending the other man reeling as his subordinate struggles to control his alpha instincts and stop himself from fighting his boss, tearing Chisaki to shreds for interrupting his mating.

Chisaki doesn't care, he's too focused on you.

"You're so pathetic." The man hisses at you, crowding into your space. When had he taken off his mask? He wanted to smell more of you.

His gloves are gone too, ripped away in a moment so he can feel your wet skin against his hands, feel the sweat beading your brow before those same fingers snap to undo his pants.

"I hate you, I hate you." He seethes, golden eyes staring at you so intently that you start to cry, overwhelmed with the situation, still craving a knot, craving intimacy and tenderness.

You've reduced him down to barely better than an animal, tearing at his clothes so he can sink into you, closing his eyes at the way you're wet and warm inside, perfect and velvety.

Chisaki doesn't know what's come over him. Normally he'd be disgusted, absolutely incensed at having such filth be in direct contact with his skin. But right now... all he feels is pleasure ripping through his veins, clouding his head, his mind, flushing rational thought down the toilet.

"Stupid, hate you-" his words rattle out on each rapid thrust, breath uneven and labored as his muscles stretch and work to fuck you harder and faster. He's building up to his peak.

One of his hands is fisted in your hair, close to your scalp and keeping you still, the other hand clamped firmly against your hip and making sure you don't wiggle away. Alpha instincts taking over as his brain convinces him to mate, breed, cum.

"You're so fucking dirty." He gasps, voice heated and gravelly as he struggles to fight through the heat taking over his body.

He's going into a rut.

Chisaki isn't supposed to do that. He takes supplements and suppressants to ensure he doesn't have too. Ruts are messy, nasty things to endure, and Chisaki would rather lick the floor of a dirty subway than experience one.

Yet here he is.

"You disgusting, wretched thing-" And you're crying, fat tears mixing with sweat and rolling down your chin. Chisaki feels disgusting himself, wanting to lick the liquid away.

He hasn't felt this good in his entire life, this burning fever pitch rising and rising and cresting, blazing along his nerves.

He can barely thrust his hips anymore, and only then does Chisaki realizes that he's popped his knot, jammed it in deep while you cried and moaned and struggled to hold onto him.

Theres a sick sense of satisfaction filling him up, his mind clears for half a second and Chisaki thinks to look over his shoulder, seeing Chrono still standing there with a soured look on his face, cock still swollen and drippy and bobbing purple against the man's stomach.

"Get out." Chisaki orders, and Chrono knows enough to merely pick up his coat and wrap it around himself before exiting the room. He's never seen his boss like this - so feral and unhinged and debauched like some regular dirty plebeian.

But Chisaki doesn't care. Odd.

He cares about grinding against you, feeling you milk every last drop of cum from his balls, shimmying his hips to hear you gasp and moan and clutch at his body, trembling like a little lamb.

Chisaki doesn't want to stop.

"As soon as my knot goes down-" He growls, lowering his face until it's mere inches from your own, breathing into your space. "I'm going to take you to my room and knot you until you break."

[xreaderbooks]

Two sides (2)

Pair: ACOTAR Azriel x reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Language, implied smut

Summary: Y/N has been in love with Cassian for centuries now, Just how Azriel has been with Mor. Both heartbroken by their unrequited love they fall into a routine of 'one-night stands', Not realizing their each others mate.

Masterlist - Part 1

A/N: So I dont know how accurate the mate information is, like I said before I haven’t read the ACOTAR series since 2019 so I probably got a couple things wrong or didn’t write the characters the way you would expect them to act. I chose to make them more how they would be in head canons if you get what I mean. Either way I really hope you enjoyed the 2nd and final part to Two sides :) Feel free to send requests for Azriel or any other Acotar characters. Thank you all for the support <3

"We need to talk."

"Okay," Azriel says skeptically, he walks over to sit on the chair across from you.

"I wanted to apologize for the other night," You shifted in your seat as you spoke, you were noticeably uncomfortable. That bothered Azriel, he wanted you to feel natural not forced, he didn't know where that desire came from but it was true. Even if this conversation was a bit awkward. "I never meant to make you feel used, I guess, I just needed a distraction."

"From seeing Cassian and Nesta together?" He asked. You bit your lip and nodded. "Y/N, I didn't feel used." He let out a small chuckle. "I enjoyed it, actually. And a bit flattered that you chose to-" He coughed awkwardly, "share that part of yourself with me." You grinned. You eased up a bit after knowing that Azriel didn't feel bad about what happened the other night, and even enjoyed it. It also warmed your heart at the fact that this was one of the rare moments that he felt comfortable enough to talk about how he was feeling. Despite it probably being out of sympathy or to defuse the tension.

"Oh," You chirped "well good. The last thing I wanted to do was fuck up our friendship."

He shook his head, "Y/N you've done a lot in the past few centuries that could've fucked up this friendship and we're still okay, better than okay considering. Besides Mor and I are still friends even after..." He tensed up, you went over to him and hesitantly put your hand on top of his.

"I know." You gave him a small smile. "I have an idea, I'll admit it's not my brightest but it will benefit the both of us."

His eyebrow quirked, "Your ideas are never the brightest, that's why you're just my second."

"Okay, wow." You blinked, removing your hand, and started pacing around the room. "First Rhys made me your second because I'm good at my job and you're just better cause of your shadows." He glared at you when you made the comment about his shadows. "Two, I've had a couple of good ideas in the past you just never go through with them."

"Maybe it's because all your ideas are reckless and we'd get caught if we did our job by using your so-called good ideas." He got up to meet you when you turned around to face the other way, you were met by his chest in your way.

You huffed when you looked up at him. "Whatever, I'm pretty sure you were going to like this one." He gave a nod to continue. "I- you know what I think it's better if I just show you."

He cocked his head to the side. You took this as an opportunity to grab him by the back of his neck and slammed your lips onto his. Immediately after he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer. He started walking backward, leading you towards one of the bedrooms. Your foreheads pressed together but you paused from kissing him, catching your breath. You knew he could hear your heartbeat, beating quicker by the second, his heart was beating faster too. It gave you all the encouragement you needed to start taking off your clothes.

"So this was your bright idea," Azriel asked, while also hurriedly taking off his clothes.

"Mhm." Was your response before nodding and relocating your lips onto his.

The intensity of it made your heart stutter. You wanted him and at that moment he wanted you. He truly wanted you, you both felt it and took that feeling, using it to fuel the passion in that kiss. He moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at it. You moved your hand to slowly graze his wings, which made him freeze. Azriel gave you a look that made your body go on overdrive.

He picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to "eat your neck" as Cassian had said all those days before. You rolled your eyes at the thought, but then they rolled back as Azriel bit at a sensitive area that intensified that already intoxicating feeling you got when you were with him.

And you wished it never ended.

~~~

"How do you feel about this?" You asked, hoping he'd be okay with it. So far he hadn't opposed.

"I don't want to hurt you." He confessed. You knew he meant physically, he could be a little rough sometimes. You were okay with that though, You rolled your eyes at his comment.

"I'm serious Y/N." He looked you in the eye. You were back at the training grounds of the Illyrian camp. You didn't specify any details, so you both didn't care about speaking in public.

"I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it." You began to walk ahead of him, He grabbed your forearm and pulled you back to face him, a hint of a smile on your face. "Only if you're sure."

Your smile faded once you saw that he was genuinely concerned. "Az, you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you."

He froze and let you go. He had a hard time letting people see how he was feeling but you could tell he was struggling with letting you in and his self-deprecation.

~~~

You had kept your secret "relationship" hidden from everyone else, as much as you could. It didn't take long. They were extremely nosy and it was difficult with Mor being your best friend. She always knew when you were lying and had insisted you were acting differently. You would always blow it off and say you had a good day, telling a random story you just thought of on the spot.

Cassian had continued to tease you about your secret lover-- which only intrigued Mor even further-- you avoided the truth most of the time. You and Azriel would be extra careful when doing what you did. Sometimes even going to Inns and you would both winnow to the location.

Going through all that trouble only for Amren to find out and threaten to tell the others. She tried to blackmail you into buying her a pure diamond bracelet. As if she couldn't afford it yourself. You talked to Azriel about it and you both decided you didn't care if anyone else knew, it's only a matter of time before they found out anyway. Plus you could use the money to buy a house somewhere private in Velaris. You enjoyed the privacy and lack of teasing for as long as it lasted.

Amren didn't tell but as you predicted, everyone did find out. Some already had suspicions like Mor, Rhys, and Feyre. Amren wouldn't have known if she hadn't caught you both and Cassian never would have thought. You'd be lying if you said you weren't disappointed at him not showing any sign of jealousy. You knew he wouldn't be, being caught up with Nesta and all but you still held hope. You considered yourself a fool and would try to fuck the feelings out of you with Azriel. And most of the time it worked.

~~~

Months went by as sleeping with your best friend became your new normal. You never would have thought that you'd be one of those mysterious girls that Azriel hooked up with, ever since that night, you were the only girl. You had to admit, you liked the idea; being Azriel's only girl. But you knew that although you would be the only girl in his bed, Mor will always be on his mind. Not that you blamed him, you were still somewhat hung up on Cassian. After you can't get rid of 500+ years of feelings.

As you laid next to Azriel, who now stayed nights instead of leaving right after, You admired his tattoos, the intricate designs, you fought the urge to trace them. You did anyways but only a centimeter away from his chest so you wouldn't wake him. In the morning light that slipped through a slight gap in your curtains, It shone right on him. He looked ethereal.

You always knew he was attractive most Illyrian men were, at least if they weren't assholes most of the time. You had time now, to actually take in his beauty. You could never understand how someone so beautiful and kind could be so broken. You guessed that's why you chose him to spend your nights with, instead of some random guy. You could help him and heal him and get him to appreciate himself more.

The shadows around him became more active, it made him tense up. He was awake. You lifted your hand up to up to move the stray hair that fell onto his face. At that moment, you felt your world shift an overwhelming sensation of love and adoration consumed your body and you snatched your hand away from him. You were in pure shock.

'Holy fuck' Was the only thing going through your head.

"What's wrong?"He questioned as if he could sense your distress. His voice hoarse from just waking up.

"Nothing." You said, immediately getting up and getting dressed in whatever you had closest to you. "You should, um, You should get going. I have a lot of reports to do, I've been holding them off but Rhys has been asking me for them for the longest so I should get on it."

Azriel sat up, the bed sheet covering one leg and another part. His perfectly sculpted body in your bed, the lighting, half of his leg uncovered by the blanket. You tried to compose yourself to figure out what you would do. Hoping that he didn't pick up on how different you were acting. It was no use he probably already expected something was up.

To try to ease the tension you sat next to him, brushing the hair out of his face, dragging your fingertips down to the side of his face, and kissed his cheek. You ignored the tingles you felt as his face nuzzled into your hand. Hesitantly, you remove your hand and got up from the bed, and sat at the desk you had in your room. You pretended to read through old letters from officials.

Azriel took that as his cue to leave. He got dressed and pressed a kiss to the back of your head before he left.

He definitely knew something, that's not how your mornings usually go. You would at least spend an hour or two together either talking or enjoying each other's presence before sending each other off to your respective duties. However due to your new discovery of Azriel being your mate. You panicked. What would you do now?

~~~

Hours had passed and you hadn't left your room, choosing to focus on the reports that you did in fact, have to do. Rhys just wasn't expecting them for another week or so. Mor then busted into your room. "Knock, knock bitch."

"Uh, hello gorgeous, didn't expect a lovely visit from you today." You said sarcastically, turning your chair to face her. She dropped the shopping bags onto your floor. You lifted a brow in question.

"We're going on a trip!"

"I'm busy." You turned back around to focus on what you were writing.

"It's a fun work one." You twisted your chair around again.

"How do you mean?"

"Day court gala, bonding with people, gaining trust, and all that." She waved it off as if you didn't need to know actual information. You decided you'd ask for details from Rhysand later.

"And you went shopping." You gestured to all of the bags. "like you don't have tons of outfits you could take."

"Well of course I do. These are for you." She grinned.

"W-what?"

"Just because you're supposed to be invisible and all that, doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time." She referred to your job description, being another spy for Rhysand, relying on you being a woman to get information from people Azriel couldn't. Kind of ridiculous considering Azriel's shadows allowed him to get all the information needed but it was an easy enough job. Unlike Az, you didn't have shadows to command so you stuck to your black outfits tunics, and suits that would help you move easily. You never really dressed up, unless it was for an occasion, but you enjoyed doing it when you could. Most of the time you would be on duty or something like it so you couldn't.

This Gala gave you the perfect excuse too. You were thankful to Mor for having bought you these dresses and accessories. You were pretty sure you had worn all the dresses you had in your closet already.

"Yeah, you're right." You gave her a half-smile. Part of you wondered what Azriel's reaction would be to you in one of these revealing dresses. You shook the thought from your head. You would dress for yourself not for some male, even if that male is your mate.

You debated whether to tell Mor or not. She might be able to help you with your internal battle. Part of you was hurt about Cassian not being your mate. Another part always knew that he wasn't, and another part of you wondered how Azriel would react. Did he feel the bond snap into place? Or was it a Feyre-Rhysand situation where the bond would snap into place at another moment? Would he reject you cause you weren't Mor?

You opted to tell Mor at the day court where you would have more space and privacy from the others.

~~~

Helion's words about uniting and bonding were very heartwarming and kind, but you couldn't get past the thoughts that swarmed your mind. You took advantage of this time with everyone listening to Helions welcoming speech and sneakily made your way over to where Mor was standing. You pretended to greet her with a kiss and whispered in her ear to meet you in the room you were staying at.

"Thank the cauldron you came along, Helion was droning on and was about to make me fall asleep." She joked as she sauntered into your room. She paused her amused tone as soon as she saw your face. "You were fine like two minutes ago."

"Glad to know, I'm good at hiding it." You forced a smile. She tilted her head as if to ask you 'what's wrong', so you told her. You told her that Azriel was your mate and how it happened. You told her of your fears of rejection and confusion with your love for Cassian. It was a different love now, you felt it. There was a shift in what you felt towards Cassian and more intense feelings for Azriel. You suspected the bond but you didn't mind it. You then opened up about your insecurity about him rejecting you for her. Which she shut down, though she knew what you meant.

"Mor, Azriel loves you, like I loved Cassian. What if his love for you is stronger and he refuses to let go. We all know the only reason he never went for you is his trouble with his self-worth." Those were harsh words, but they were true. "He could easily reject me for you, knowing you don't love him in that way."

"You don't know that Y/N. And you loved Cassian, probably as much as Azriel loved me. After all this time you spent together, you truly don't think he would have changed the way he feels for me?" She grabbed your hand in hers. "You and Azriel are like two sides of the same coin, he's all dark and brooding and you, well you're the same in some ways. But you bring out the light and you can cast out all of his darkness with a simple smile."

"I don't know." You whispered. You were scared. Your feelings for Azriel already began to grow, without the bond, with it in place now it was strengthened. Your feelings for Cassian was a background noise that would soon grow into a more familial type of love.

"What should I do Mor?" You whimpered, you put your face in your hands. "I feel like a girl with a crush. This is ridiculous."

She laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes it is. On the bright side, if he doesn't know about you being mates, you could still have fun with other people."

You gave her a look. "You forget that he's my designated person to 'have fun' with."

"I didn't know you had a conversation on exclusivity." She shrugged and walked over to the cart that had alcoholic drinks, at the corner of the room.

"Technically we did when we agreed to sleep with each other when we felt like it." You reasoned.

"Hm." She mused, sipping on her drink. "I still say enjoy tonight, dance with a few males, or females, and if you two end up having sex with him again just enjoy the time you have with him."

"Thanks for the talk, Mor."

"Of course darling, by the way, I highly doubt he'll reject you. If he does he's an idiot and I'll kill him." She sent a wink your way and left you in your room to think.

~~~

Azriel watched as you swayed your hips to the beat of the music. A man who he didn't know came up from behind you, keeping up with you. That was the first of many. He felt a twinge of jealousy in his gut. He attempted to force that emotion down. He couldn't understand where that was coming from.

He was keeping watch, even though he always made sure to keep a lookout for danger to his court. Mor and Cassian tried to get him to ease up, he didn't budge. Who would pry Cassian from more liquor when he's had enough to drink if Azriel wasn't sober? He used the excuse of being the only responsible one to keep an eye on her. Y/n, Azriel thought he knew what it was to love someone because of Mor but what Azriel felt for Y/N was different. It felt raw and real and whatever it was, was growing fast. She was easy to talk to, not that he did much of that but she listened, actually listened when he did, and she didn't pry or hover as much as the others. They tend to beat around the bush when wanting to know about what was going on with him. Unlike Y/N who would take her time to make sure he felt comfortable and if, he wasn't, she would change the topic and act normal.

Y/N was a calming presence that allowed him to just be. She brought out another side of him that he thought he could never be.

That's why when he felt a change in the way he saw her dancing with a new guy than the one she was with earlier, it all made sense. She was his mate. He saw red as he practically flew to where they were. The fae males' hands that were roaming your bonds were ripped away from you and he dragged him away. Azriel pinned the man against the wall. People began to stare and talk in hushed whispers, appalled at the sight.

"Never touch my mate, again." He growled. He dug his fingers into the guy's neck.

"I-I didn't know." The man choked out.

"Well, now you do." He muttered, letting the man slump to the ground. He went over to where you were standing, eyes wide. His eyes softened while looking at you. He slowed as he got to you. "Can we talk?"

You nodded your head and began to walk toward an empty hall.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He kept his voice low but soft. He was afraid, you would want to run away.

"You didn't." You stood there staring at him. You tried to figure him out, to no avail. His face was always stoic. "I- I thought you'd reject me and now I don't know what to do." You confessed.

"You knew?" He tried to recall if you had acted any differently. His shadows had felt the change in your demeanor and set out in whispers when you were rushing him out. He brushed it off, he should've looked more into it. The last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel unwanted or rejected.

"Since yesterday morning." You confirmed. Your anxiety consumed you, you heard of the pain that came along with being rejected by your mate. Some have died from it. Little did you know Azriel was worrying about the same exact thing. Not thinking himself worthy enough of your affection. He allowed himself the pleasure of being in bed with you, assuming it was nothing more and he couldn't get hurt you or be hurt that way. It was a release from another pain you both had the displeasure of feeling.

"I want you to know it is an honor to have you as my mate." He took a step closer.

"Really? Honestly, I thought..." You shook your head. "Nevermind."

He looked confused but let it go, if you wanted to tell him you would. "Guess this means I have to go cook you something." You let out a laugh. He smiled an actual wide beautiful smile. Azriel grabbed your face and kissed you.

It was soon interrupted by a very drunk Mor who shouted, "Finally!"

Cassian was right behind her, "Mor! I forgot where the bathroom was, can y-" He paused looking between you and Azriel. "Oooh getting freaky in the hall, that's new. Hey Y/N if he isn't hitting it right, you know where to find me." He winked at you. Azriel gave him a murderous look, putting his arm in front of you. 'So he's gonna be one of those', you thought.

You couldn't wait till the second part of the mating process.

Tags: @wildchild2707​ ,@theworthlessqueen​ ,@ciciakai​ ,@rockinginneverland​