#and mostly I'm tired of hearing how it's better to love and lose than never love at all because it's REALLY not

[musical-chick-13]

.

[alienoresimagines]

can you write [knuckles] for a kiss on the hand? thank you!!

I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you're still around 🥺❤️But here it is, 1.8k long despite my best efforts at keeping it under 1k 😅 I hope you'll like it 💕 Also on AO3 My other Clegan fics here

Never Coming Down (With Your Hand In Mine) | Buck x Bucky

The radio they managed to find doesn't tell them much of interest regarding the Allies’ troops and their progress, but writing any tidbits of information down gives John something to focus on that isn't this camp, this life that isn't really a life but that isn't death either, just some in-between that John is stuck in, unable to do anything or be useful. One foot in the grave and every day wishing a bit more it was both. In the darkest corner of his mind, he thinks that perhaps his death would save Gale from tiring himself to the bone trying to keep John tethered to Earth. Maybe, at least then, he could be useful to Buck. 

The thought is squashed away almost immediately, guilt crawling in his throat. Those few days after Gale had gone down over Bremen were the worst in John's life. The certainty that he was now a piece of something that would never be whole again, with no home to fight for anymore, had been the most excruciating pain John's ever known. Over the course of just a few months, he’s lost more friends than he can count, each loss cutting deeper. But losing Gale hadn’t just felt like losing a limb. From the moment Red’s distorted voice reached his ears through the phone - “He went down swinging, John” - he was an empty shell walking, his chest hollow with no heart, some vital part of him missing. No matter how miserable this camp makes him, wishing such agony on his best friend, his better half is unbearable. If only to spare Gale any additional pain, he’ll plant both feet in the mud until they stop trying to get him closer to that barbed-wire fence. 

Yet, despite desperately wishing Gale out of harm’s way, his being chained to the dirt with him is John’s saving grace. In the darkness of the Stalag, Gale shines brighter than the North Star, and John fights every day to keep himself from the fog in his head to grasp at this soft golden light. It's easier at night, the weight of Gale in his arms a grounding presence, the distinct smell of him feeling more and more like home, but John is starting to make it through some days always there too. Listening to the radio also helps, especially when most days, it's just him and Gale at the table, the others keeping watch on the guards from outside. Soon it'll be too cold for them to do so without it being suspicious or dangerous for their own health, but for now, John is glad he gets to spend more time alone with Gale. His ma always said he fights tooth and nail for those he loves, and right now, he's desperately grasping at the fading rays of sunlight, selfishness be damned.

Today, the BBC doesn't have any interesting news to keep hold of his attention for long, so he mostly scribbles down what he hears without making sense of the words strung together, too focused on the solid presence of Buck on his right. With both of them being right-handed, it would have been too much of a hindrance to be pressed close enough for their shoulders to touch, but their knees knock together every so often, like silent banter. It sends sparks of warmth down John's spine, the focused tilt of Gale's mouth only amusing him in his boredom. In the past five minutes, he's sent his knee against Gale's in soft presses, alternating between lingering and fleeting touches until the word B-U-C-K is successfully floating in the air, though the man himself seems entirely unaware of it, tongue darting between his lips in concentration. Bucky's debating coding G-A-L-E, just to see if the rare occurrence of his given name will snap the other out of his focus when said man grunts softly as he scribbles, pencil scratching the paper as it nears the edge. John mindlessly hands him a blank piece of paper, more than attuned to all the different ways the other has to ask for something without voicing his desires, eyes trained on the stray blond curl falling on Buck’s forehead. Without lifting his eyes from his piece of paper, Gale extends a pale hand to take John's offering, the contact of their fingers sending a jolt through John's blood. He lets out a yelp, slightly jerking back before diving in to hold Gale's hands between his own, Buck's sound of confusion and protest as his pencil is thrown out of his hold swallowed by John's cursing.

"Jesus, Buck, your hands are fuckin' freezing." John doesn't feel particularly warm but the difference in temperature between both their hands is such that he half-expects the air to start hissing. How Gale can still move his fingers is a mystery to him, and his gut goes tight with worry. Trying to rub warmth back into those hands, John brings them to his face so that he can blow hot air on long fingers. He's deeply aware of how intimate the gesture is, especially in a place like this, and he can feel heat rising to his cheeks but he focuses stubbornly on his task. Keeping his eyes on those hands he’s never held so close to his face is a necessary precaution to ensure he doesn’t dismiss any inch of skin in his mission to warm them enough that he doesn’t have to worry about them falling off, and it has the additional effect of allowing John to study them without fearing being caught.

Gale's hands truly are beautiful. They've always been, and in the years he's known the other, John has spent more time than he probably should have admiring them. How they wrap in a strong grip around the yolk to wield a metal fortress effortlessly, how long, slender fingers bring a toothpick to the plump curve of his lips. Calluses on fingers and rough palms that were still so gentle and kind when they tended to John's wounds just a few months ago. Today, they look frail and dry, the knuckles angry red and cracked from the cold. It hurts to even look at them, those hands that were more suited for piano and gently guiding horses across fields now cracked by misery and cold. Acting on an urge, he presses a kiss to the knuckles of both, a silent promise to warm them and get them better, to get them far from weapons and barbed fences, and back to horses and piano and books.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Gale blinking owlishly at him, perfectly still. Between them, the radio crackles, words floating in the air but never making it to any paper. After a few more seconds, Gale's voice rises too, soft despite his usual deep southern drawl.

"I need my hands back, Bucky." John frowns, still rubbing his palms over Gale's hands to warm them. Admittedly, he knows Gale can't write with his foot, even though imagining it almost makes him smile, but really, nothing the BBC is broadcasting right now is worth the risk of Gale losing his hands to the cold. Unconsciously, he brings Gale's hands closer to his face, just shy of nuzzling them with the tip of his nose, already thinking of all the ways he could get them warm. It would be, like many things, easier at night. With the cold, everybody has taken up to sharing a bunk and no one would notice if Gale's hands were pressed to his skin, under his shirt. Even though the thought of those icicles against more sensitive skin than his palms isn't exactly a pleasant one, he'd do it in a heartbeat. For the day, when it would be too risky for John to hold Gale's hands in his pockets, maybe he could find him some gloves, at least make mittens out of socks, to soften the blow of the cold and the sting of the wind. 

"Bucky ?" Eyes snapping to Gale's, he finds him with his head slightly tilted to the side, cheeks red from the cold. It's then he realizes he still has both of Gale's hands in his. The other looks at him and then back at his paper before raising his brows in a silent question, making John huff. Reluctantly, he lets go of Gale's right hand but immediately cradles his left hand on his lap. He hopes Gale will be satisfied with this, but the other keeps looking at him insistently, a fond glint in his eyes but brows slightly furrowed, as if his left hand being held in both of John's is a math problem he can’t solve.

At the silent question, he rolls his eyes and makes a show of putting his own left hand on the upper part of Gale's paper, making sure it doesn't move from its spot on the table. The paper is smooth against his fingertips, contrasting with the rough feel of the wooden table that has given them more than their fair share of splinters on his palm. He misses the feeling of Gale’s hands in his. For a moment, he had felt whole in a way he usually only feels at night. Gale's hand is starting to get warmer in his, the skin rough from the cold, but John has never held something as delicate and precious as it, save for Gale himself.

Resting their joined hands on his lap, he intertwines their fingers and fights down the blush he can feel creeping up his neck, eyes resolutely on the paper in front of the other. There’s no reason to feel nervous, they’ve slept in each other’s arms so often by now it really shouldn’t matter, but something about the fact that this isn’t about survival forces him to take a deep breath before moving. With one slide over the bench, his side is pressed to Gale’s, shoulders rising and falling in tandem. He’s glad to notice that Buck isn’t as cold as his hands, warmth seeping from his side to John’s as rapidly as the tension leaves the set of his shoulders until he’s pressing back into John.

They'll work slower like that but Gale doesn't protest nor take his hand away, only resettling slightly so his thigh also rests against John’s. Tentatively, he risks a glance at Gale and finds him looking down at the table, face still red but from something John has an inkling isn't the cold anymore, biting his bottom lip softly but mouth nonetheless quirked upwards. It takes every ounce of strength and self-restraint in him not to kiss him, to smother the affection blooming in his chest. Instead, after a bit of silence in which he feels he might suffocate on pent-up love, John squeezes Gale's hand in his and the other seems to focus back on his task, startled. Clearing his throat, Gale starts scribbling again, pointedly avoiding looking to his left, but John doesn't mind, a smile spreading his cracked lips, fondness written plain on his face as he doesn’t look away for a second.

On his lap, Gale squeezes his hand back.

[anni-writes]

i’m getting a little nervous

Atsumu Miya x reader | Angst

Warnings: self indulgent angst, Atsumu a little shitty, post timeskip

Songfic based on Nerves by DPR IAN. Highly recommend listening the song or watching the mv

word count: 1270

23:02h

Hi, how you doing?

I heard you seem to be happy now

Never in a million years Atsumu though he would sob so hard for someone

He never antecipated that his shitty behavior would draw away someone he loved so deeply

Although, his brother antecipated.

Since forever, Osamu knew that the raw words, the lack of tact, the uncaring demeanor and the obnoxious narcisistic behaviour would tire you out eventually.

And he alerted Atsumu, just as he did in high school.

So is safe to say the last person he could reach now was Osamu.

He know better than to hear a painful “I warned you, dumbass” from him in this state.

Not when he was still so vulnerable from this afternoon.

_____

13:43h

It had been three months of radio silence after the fight, and Atsumu was hanging on the thin thread of hope that you would come back to him. Just as you always did.

He didn't see it coming. But he wished he did.

While scrolling through the meaningless registers of people's lives, waiting for his coach, he saw the airplane window picture on your Instagram story, alongside the news that you were moving to another country.

Another fucking country.

Just like that.

Out of reach.

The ball fell. On his side of the court. The referee blew the whistle announcing that it was officially his loss.

But he never loses, how can it be?

He could feel the rush of adrenaline increasing his heart rate.

His body acted on his own.

He left his teammates confused at the gym and ran like he had never did in his entire life. Not even in a volleyball match to catch an unpredictable, difficult ball on the other side of the court. Not even in high school when he was late for practice, and the coach would scold him and double his warm-up laps.

His body ran towards a destination he knew all too well, apologizing to people he bumped into on the street until they all became a blur, and he gave up on his own awareness.

So you came around my house

And you left your marks with your fingertips

I'm sitting where you sat down

And now he's looking for something meaningless

The image of you picking that place because it was so close to both the MSBY practice gym and the office where you worked, and also had the best view of Tokyo at night, was burning somewhere in the back of his mind while his lungs worked double-time to keep up with his speed.

A couple of minutes of running, which felt like hours, he bumped gracelessly against the building door, opening it and fumbling inside.

Breathless, he almost broke the elevator button in his impatience, earning a glare from the doorman, who chose not to say anything due to the visible distress on Atsumu’s face.

Just like the mirrorless elevator, the hallway of the 13th floor seemed more claustrophobic than ever.

And the door of apartment 1307 no longer held the garland from last Christmas, the one you always claimed to forget there, but in reality, were just too lazy to remove, saying “Christmas is gonna be soon again” every time Atsumu pointed it out.

God fucking hell, he could swear he heard your voice in the back of his head, and he hated it.

His sweaty hands reached the doorknob. The door was unlocked, but the sight locked something inside him.

The bright, colorful, saturated walls you made him help you paint were now white.

It looked like a nightmare.

Each uncertain step he took inside the plain apartment was like a different stake driving into his heart.

The once lively space that echoed your goofy laughter and his loud one, but mostly your colorful warmth, was now nothing more than an empty shell.

His heart ached as he desperately clung to the fading memories of you.

Letting his sight scan the place, he spotted the small nook where you used to sit and read, the sunlight from the window casting a warm glow on the now vacant spot. The vision triggered a fresh wave of pain, his legs almost buckling under the weight of his grief.

He leaned his back against the plain white wall, sliding down to sit on the floor.

It was as if every inch of the apartment was screaming out your absence, the silence deafening.

He let himself drown in the sea of regret, each memory of you like a wave crashing over him, pulling him further into the depths of his despair.

And in that moment, Atsumu realized the full extent of his loss. Not just the loss of you, but the loss of the love and joy you brought into his life, the loss of the person he had become because of you.

And I'm sorry

I was hurting too much to know

That you were standing right there

And it hit him. All the times you were there for him when he was alone in Tokyo, way before his brother moved.

A country boy trying to reach his dream all alone. Trying to deal with the pressure all alone. Trying to handle the early stages of fame all alone.

But he was never alone.

He would cry comfortably in the crook of your neck while you combed his hair, soothing his soul.

“Breathe with me, baby,” you would say so softly to him when he was in the middle of some panic attack on a Wednesday night.

When the nightmares with the cameras, the press, and the fans woke him up, and you were just… there. Sleeping soundly. And his shaking figure would spoon you to scent the vanilla of your shampoo and calm himself down to sleep again, dreaming of taking you to the vineyards in Italy on his first vacation in-between seasons.

You were always there for him.

But he failed to remember when he was there for you.

You got a little nervous of running back to you

When you weren't there

____

18:33h

He didn't know how long he sat there, lost in his thoughts. But when he finally managed to pull himself together, the sun was already setting.

The view from the window was the same as he had seen so many times with you. But this time, it felt so different, so… dull.

Just like him now.

____

23:40h

He never anticipated that his shitty behavior would drive away someone he loved so deeply, even though Osamu anticipated it.

And now he was sobbing while his sore muscles were relaxing under the strong effect of the whiskey in his left hand.

His phone, forgotten all day in his pocket, was now in his right hand. His thumb purposefully ignoring all the missed calls from his teammates and his brother, to open a three-month-old chat.

Your picture almost made him throw the glass of whiskey against the living room wall. A picture that he took.

But he suppressed the bottled anger. His once unwavering steady setter hands, now trembling, typed away on a mission.

He wanted to be there for you at least once, knowing what’s best for you right now.

So against all the cells of his body pleading for your presence, he sent:

So many times I could've held on

How much I wished I'd never let you go

I still can't believe I left you alone

It tore me down to pieces, she’ll never know

[madschiavelique]

AAAA this idea has been on my mind for months now and i simply need to share it with y’all

it’s a raphael x reader fic idea that i had a bit ago, and as i am uncertain as to whether or not i will ever write it, i’m throwing this idea in the wild hoping a writer on the platform will have a better determination than me at writing multiple chapters fics ✨(if u do write it i’d love to be tagged to read it or to be credited pls !)

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ pairing : raphael x reader

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ content warnings : boss x employee, oblivious reader, female!reader (but if u want to picture it as gender neutral or differently it’s up to you i’m just throwing the idea out there!), tiny bit of explicit content

( not proofread, english is not my first language ☆)

so

we have two possibilities for the start :

raphael made a contract a while ago with a mortal that he thought was pretty much impossible for them to fulfil, yet for some reason, they did manage to complete it, and now raphael had to oblige in whatever wish they had. let's picture it maybe as a person with few remaining options in life and that wants whatever remains of them to be inscribed in the family lineage as absolutely incredible. so imagine the surprise when raphael hears that the person wants their daughter to be the devil's assistant.

OR because i like having a wide choice of possibilities (and this idea came afterwards and i prefer it) :

Raphael lost a bet and has to deal with a human as their apprentice or archivist or scrib or whatever activity that necessitates to have them by his side most of the time.

imagine an oblivious reader, doesn't know much bout the hells except that you have to be wary of it, finding themselves in it directly with no friends, no directions, just in the house of Hope

imagine the scowl of raphael when he sees her arriving, the way his lower lips hems in anticipation of how he'll have to endure her presence during the upcoming weeks, months, maybe even years of apprenticeship if reader's lucky enough to hang in there

there's a bit of an urge to make her life difficult, but most of all to keep her away from him because he has no time to babysit a simple human in his home.

somehow seeing her in the face reminds him of his failure, of how a mere mortal fulfilled a contract he had so perfectly made (as he always does) and that brings him an absolute feeling of frustration

so maybe he assigns her to the archives, so that she can lose herself in books to, as he says "learn about the habits and customs of the hells", but it is mostly a pretext to occupy her so that she’s not following them around like a duckling following their mom

inevitably however (when we follow the track of the-bet-he-lost version) he has to prove to his other allies that he is fulfilling this forfeit, and thus bring reader to some diners or events with him

picture this whole thing kinda like miranda (raphael) and andrea's (reader) dynamic in the devil wears prada, just pushing her under a mountain of work that tires her the fuck out but then somehow reader becomes less insufferable and hardworking and adapts to her environment

who knows maybe she finally got used to his habits, knew what dishes, drinks, clothes he'd prefer. knew who he had positive ties with, who he loathed, who he had to keep an eye on, and who he could close his eyes around

which obviously brought reader to harleep

maybe reader has just never picked up on social cues (yes at this point i'm making reader autistic because yes.) and doesn't have a single fucking clue about flirting, so she just thinks harleep is being very very nice to her c: it'd be hilarious like

harleep: haven't you got a pretty garment today, but you might make the hells hotter if you removed a few layers of it

reader: how can one make a place hotter by removing clothes ? that's a silly suggestion

told you

✨ OBLIVIOUS✨

harleep and reader do become friends though, maybe harleep even teaches her a bit about the malicious art of flirting while refraining himself to just fuck her - still teaching her in his own way of course

raphael doesn't spend his time wondering what his incubus spends his time doing, because if he did he would know pretty quickly whatever he does anyway. but now that he's starting to feel less bitter about reader and actually is able to be in the same room as her without his nose hitching up like he is smelling something that reeks, he does have an interest to know a bit about what her activities are in the house of hope

because consider it, he never shares diner with her, barely exchanges a few words per day with her, and tries to stay the furthest away from her possible by adding piles of documents, lists and whatever books reader needs to read for him so that all these centuries of knowledge can repress her to come to him

imagine if haarlep, just to mess with raphael, tells reader to use any flirting lessons he has given her so far on him - whether it be the brush of a hand or flaming hot words that'll make the devil's skin ran with goosebumps

and that when she does use it, actually unconsciously, reader and raph both surprised

what the hell is that thing that raphael is feeling ?

he knows who's behind this little joke, obviously, but still there's a sort of lingering truth in these words

maybe reader has noticed how she herself has just started anticipating whenever he comes back, whenever she shares a moment with him in any room of the house of hope, whenever he gives a confirming hum or the single word "good" when she does a proper job that she made look natural and intuitive when she’s been working her soul out to make it look perfect and effortless in advance

she expects him

imagine how one day, she does everything absolutely perfectly, even goes out of her way to impress him in the hopes of receiving even just a smile about it, but nothing. raphael hides the way he's impressed with her, because... why actually?

to keep his image of irascible boss that doesn't give a shit about his apprentice human? i mean he could've dropped this kind of act probably, but making an effort for a human that doesn't owe him anything ? that's another feat he's not sure how to handle yet

so reader goes to haarlep, who's become her confident, her kind of only friend in the house of hope, and shares her frustration

maybe she just takes them in her arms, starts crying a bit as they caresses her hair sofity hushing her down

"nothing i do is ever good enough, even perfect is not enough for him! why does he have to be this way..." and maybe just maybe

haarlep suggests a way to make her feel better and ends up sleeping with her

they comforts her a bit more, and tell her that if she ever needs to feel "better" again, she can just come to them. if not, they still are her friend

things go on, and raphael's personal frustration grows, because his mind keeps going to reader

what is it about her that makes him want to think about her? certainly not the way she always knows what to bring him if he needs even the slightest thing, or how she suggests point of views and ideas he had not though of from his perspective, or how she's so pretty when she's serious and reading silently, or how he even finds beauty in her writing, or how...

the list goes on, this man is silently obsessed with you, and he doesn't know how to shake away this feeling

imagine one night of pure frustration he calls in haarlep, and as they’re deeply in the middle of it, he feels as though he's not getting satisfaction. his thoughts are oriented towards you and only you, maybe the way you brushed the feather of your quill on your nose today while reading and writing notes on whatever book on cambions raphael had commanded you to read, or how your sigh of relief sounded when you had stretched after a long while of being sat at your desk, or how your tongue had lingered on your spoon tonight at diner after finishing your yogurt

that's when the cocky bastard (haarlep) smirks, asking "what's wrong? do you wish tonight for me not to be you, but to be..." before changing in your shape and seeing how raphael's eyes widen in surprise, "her ?"

he just gets up from bed, screaming at harleep “how could you touch her? i gave you no right to touch her” but harleep just answers something like "how could i not ? you certainly know of The Scorpion and the Frog don't you? It's in my nature."

of course raphael knows of it (lemme insert the explanation: A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it would drown if it killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I am sorry, but I couldn't resist the urge. It's my nature."), and knows that harleep would've probably tried to get your body sooner or later, but still he feels the sting in his heart

URGH i have lots of thoughts about this so if ur interested pls don’t hesitate to drop smth in my inbox !!

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

You were a member of Blackbeard's crew long ago. Then you became a ghost story. Izzy Hands only sees you in his dreams these days, until he sees you for real when investigating Stede Bonnet. This sets him on a rollercoaster of emotions between you and what his captain is doing.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Swearing. Mostly Izzy, sometimes you, but mostly Izzy. Angst too.

Chapter Five - Rocky waters

♡♡♡

We've been almost a fortnight aboard the Revenge... and I'm beginning to suspect that Edward nas no intention of ending Stede Bonnet's life.

If I didn't know better... I'd say he's somehow become seduced by this imbecile.

You catch Izzy writing in his journal as you walk past his cabin. He had been rather quiet the past couple days, at least as far as you were concerned anyway. He hasn't noticed you in the doorway. You smile at the sight of the wooden sparrow on his desk. You knew he would like it.

You know that the longer Izzy is aboard this ship, the worse it gets for him. You've kind of adapted to the way the crew do things round here. It's a change of pace from your days on Blackbeard's crew.

As Izzy scribbles away, you decide to interrupt gently. With a soft knock to his already open door, you smile as he lifts his head to look at you. He snaps his journal shut and drops it beside him on his cot.

"What do you want?" He asks, trying to look annoyed by your interruption, but you can see through him.

"Thought I'd come check on you. Everything good?"

"Just peachy," he let's out an exasperated sigh. You chuckles softly as step into the room with one foot.

"We'll be off this ship soon. Sailing back aboard the Queen Anne leaving ruin in our wake. Doing things we used to do."

Izzy stares silently into space at the thought.

You step a little closer to his bed and take a seat. You can see how tired he is. The man never seems to stop: always working, never resting.

"When was the last time you slept?" You ask him.

"Last night."

"All night?"

He eyes flicker up to meet yours. He looks less than impressed, but he also can't hide anything from you. The sigh that escapes his nose tells you enough.

"I know you hate it here, and that you want Blackbeard back so we can return to our ship and our life, but you also need to give it time, Izzy."

"It's been a fucking weeks."

"I know, but surely he has a plan. He's our Blackbeard."

"That's the problem," Izzy starts. "I don't think he's our Blackbeard anymore. I think he's been seduced by Bonnet."

"Seduced?"

"Last night... last night I was up on deck. I could hear them. They were... I'm pretty sure they were fucking."

"Out in the open?" You ask, wide eyed.

"Sounded like it."

"Ew, Izzy, why were you listening to them?"

"It wasn't on purpose!" He groans. "I think Edward might be... in love with this guy."

You fall silent as you think about it. It made sense in a way. Edward was always where Stede was. They kept in the same cabin. They talked constantly. They were always looking art each other.

"Well shit..."

"Exactly!" Izzy huffs.

"I mean... Is it that bad if he is?" You ask him.

Izzy stares at you. "Bad? It's a fucking disaster."

You gaze down at your lap. "He's the happiest I've seen him in ages."

"It's pathetic."

You glance up at Izzy. "Love? Or the fact you're losing Blackbeard to Bonnet?"

Izzy glares at you.

You stand up from his bed and move over to the door. You glance back at Izzy. "I would be so lucky to have what they do."

Izzy watches you leave. He stares confused at the space you occupied only moments ago. Your words and the expression on your face, it felt strange to him. What did you mean by that? Were you jealous of Edward? No, that was nonsense. Izzy knows you better than that.

Izzy thinks he knows you better than that.

♡♡♡

One of the crew's favourite things to do was tell stories. If it wasn't Stede reading them a fairytale, it was telling ghost stories.

It was entertaining, even if they didn't always make sense.

You were sat on the steps near where Izzy stood with Ivan and Fang. You could hear them talking behind you. You were watching Ed where he sat by Stede. The latter was telling one of his ghost stories.

"So, is the plan off?" Ivan asks.

"Yeah, I reckon we're not killing this guy now." Fang chimes in.

"The plan is very much alive." Izzy says. "He promised me."

You listen to them.

"It just seems that he's having an awfully nice time," Fang says, looking at Izzy. "I mean, look at him. He's telling ghost stories."

"This is the most open and available I've ever seen him." Ivan states.

You sigh and get up, walking last the crew and heading below deck. Izzy watches you go, not once looking away until you were out of sight.

♡♡♡

You're sitting in your dark little corner when you head footsteps coming toward you then stopping. You don't have to look up to know it's Izzy.

"You alright?" He asks.

"Yeah."

He sees the way you're sitting with your knees up, arms draped over them. You're not even looking at him. He sighs quietly.

"You're not. What is it?"

"Nothing, Izzy."

"You can talk to me, ya know."

You glance up at him. You can't read him for his blank expression. You're not sure what he is trying to do.

"What happens if Edward doesn't kill him?"

"Then I'll take matters into my own hands."

"Will Edward even let you?" You ask.

"Does it matter? We'll get our captain back and we can go back to our lives. We... we can be a crew again."

"We're not a crew now?" You gaze up at him.

"Not with this lot."

You turn your eyes away from him and Izzy exhales through his nose in a sound of slight desperation. He doesn't want you to turn away from him.

He says your name softly. "This isn't our home."

When you say nothing he clenches his jaw and walks away. You listen to his footsteps fade. When you're sure he's gone you sigh.

♡♡♡

You stand on deck the next morning as the ship is shrouded in fog. The crew of the Revenge have no idea what's going on, but you sailed with Blackbeard long enough to know.

A Fuckery, as he liked to call it.

You lean against the railing of the ship as you wait. Once Stede arrives, dressed in pretty pyjamas and gown, Edward demonstrates the art of "Fuckery", which leads to the Swede jumping over the side of the ship.

Ed promptly stops his theatrics so someone can get the Swede back onboard.

Izzy promptly comes out, looking up at Ed who is still hanging from the mast. "May I have a word?" He asks, grabbing at Blackbeard's boot.

"It's a bit like theatre, isn't it, Ed? Theatre of fear!"

"Ha, theatre of fear, love that!" Ed grins back at Stede.

"His name is Blackbeard, dog!"

"Well, I'll leave you to it. It looks like there's trouble in paradise." Stede walks off.

You stick around just long enough to see Izzy try and help Ed, but he gets fed up after being caught between his legs. Izzy storms off leaving Edward hanging.

Ed looks at you.

"Help?"

You shake your head and walk off too. He can get out of his own mess.

You follow Izzy to find him with Fang and Ivan. He looks at you as you get closer to him. There is something about the way he is looking at you that sends your heart thumping.

"Where's Blackbeard?" He asks.

"Hanging out."

Izzy doesn't react, but Fang giggles and Ivan grins.

"You with us?" Izzy asks.

"Izzy..."

"No. It's important that I know you're with us," he says. "You don't want to stay with this lot, do ya? You're so much more than they are. You're wasted on a crew like this." Izzy speaks softly, almost gentle. This isn't like him at all.

"Why is this suddenly about me?"

"I-"

Izzy is cut off by Edward entering. You turn around to see him looking less than impressed.

"You left me hanging." He looks at you with a flat expression. You don't even react. "What the fuck's all this?"

"Do you remember your policy about let's aboard your vessel?" Izzy asks.

"Pets? Yeah. No pets. They befoul the ship."

"You know what else you said?" Ivan asks. "You said the love of a pet makes a man weak."

"I said that?"

"Yeah, when I joined your crew, you made me put my dog down." Fang tells him.

"Yeah, OK. Well, yeah, vaguely... remember that."

"So, here's the rub. Me and the boys, we think you've begun to view Bonnet as a sort of a pet." Izzy says. "You're in too deep, Edward. Beat thing to do, end it quick."

"The longer you wait, the harder it gets..." Fang says, getting upset. Ivan holds Fang as he cries.

You stand between Izzy and Edward, not sure what to do. Edward walks off, making it a bit easier on you.

Izzy turns his eyes to you and then follows Edward out.

You look at Fang and step closer.

"There there, Fang. It's okay."

"He's in doggy heaven, Fangy," Ivan says, trying to comfort him.

"But we go to different heavens!" He cries some more. You pat him on the shoulder. Fang turns and pulls you into a hug.

You stay there awhile.

♡♡♡

You sit on Izzy's bed and wait for him. He takes a while to return, but when he does, he seems surprised to see you there.

"I was looking for you," he says.

You're sat on his bed with the wooden sparrow in your hand. You notice some detail has been added to it in ink, meaning Izzy is giving it some character. It made you happy to think this meant something to him.

"I've been in here."

Izzy watches the way you handle the gift you made him. You're being very careful with it, your finger tracing over the ink lines on the wing.

"You know I'm right," he says.

"Do I?"

Izzy closes the door to his cabin and stands in front of you, gazing down at you with his dark eyes.

"Bonnet has to go."

"Do you hate Edward being happy?" You ask

"No, I-"

"Because it seems like it," you cut him off. "Edward has found someone new. He's trying new things and kind of just enjoying life."

"We're pirates, we're not meant to enjoy life." Izzy hisses out.

"You didn't enjoy being on Blackbeard's crew?" You ask.

"Well, yeah."

"You don't enjoy sailing the seas?"

"Course I do-"

"You don't enjoy life?"

He falls quiet.

"Are you jealous that all of Edward's attention is on someone else, or are you jealous that he has something you don't?"

Izzy stares at you silently.

You put the bird back on the desk and stand up, looking Izzy in the eye. You want to say more, but you're not sure what. Izzy seems to read your mind.

"It will be over soon," he tells you. "Tomorrow night."

"Oh. So, that's it then?" You ask.

"Thought you'd be happy."

"Happy?" You huff. "You're the one who will be happy, Izzy."

"Don't tell me you're soft for Bonnet too," Izzy almost begs.

"I don't hate the guy like you do. He's actually kind of nice. He's kind, polite, funny if even unintentionally so."

"See, that's my point. He ain't a pirate."

"Izzy. Let the man live. He's doing his thing and he's still alive."

"Not on my watch," he says in a low voice.

You see the look in his eyes and you walk away. You're done trying to change his mind. This thing with Stede was between Izzy and Edward.

You weren't going to get involved.

♡♡♡

You walk into the kitchen to find Fang holding an unconscious Lucius down. Roach is sharpening a kitchen knife.

"The fuck?"

Fang looks up. "His finger is infected."

You lean over Lucius to see the state of his hand. His finger was horribly swollen. "Ouch."

"Seems to me the best move here is... amputation," Roach says, looking closely at the finger.

"Oh, for God's sake! He's a visual artist." Fang cries out. "You can't cut the boy's little fingies."

"Level with us, man." Pete grabs Roach. "There's no better option?"

"Not in my professional opinion."

You pull a face.

"Hold him down."

You sigh and help Fang hold the poor lad down. Just as Roach is about to cut the finger off, Lucius gains consciousness again. As soon as he realises what's happening he pushes both you and Fang away and runs off.

"It's only going to get worse!" You call. He's already too far gone.

You can't help but chuckle as Pete and Fang go after him.

This crew isn't so bad.

♡♡♡

The Fuckery goes about as expected. Except for the fact that the crew of the Revenge didn't raid the ship. They let themselves get boarded by the Dutch merchants and basically put on some kind of Shakespeare play.

It ended with Edward freaking out and hiding in Stede's bathtub.

Stede did not die.

Izzy was fuming. You stand beside the man seeing the way he was clenching his jaw. His fist was balled up and it took everything in you not to reach out and calm the man.

Edward was complimenting the crew on their performance.

Edward was enjoying himself.

Not anymore.

"Stede Bonnet."

You turn to look at Izzy. You curse under your breath. Yet, you shouldn't be surprised. Izzy did tell you he would take matters into his own hands.

"Draw your weapon."

"No, Izzy, we're not doing this." Ed points at him.

"No, YOU'RE not doin' this. So I must." Izzy steps down and grabs 2 swords. "Stede fuckin' Bonnet... I fuckin' challenge you to a fuckin' duel."

He tosses Stede a sword.you step in front of Izzy.

"Izzy, please."

"Move." He says your name softly.

"I accept your challenge," Stede says from behind you. You turn around.

"Stede, no."

"Stede, be careful. He does know his shit," Edward warns him.

Izzy uses his arm to move you out of the way. You glare at him as he steps closer to Stede.

"As do I. You've taught me well," Stede replies to Ed.

"Not that well," Ed admits.

Stede watches Izzy. "I assume standard duel rules apply. What are those exactly?" He asks.

"Let's make it interesting, shall we?" Izzy says. "The loser is banished from the ship, if they're not dead."

"Izzy, no!" You call out, but he ignores you. Instead he instantly swings his sword at Stede.

Stede manages to block his attacks

"Come on. Give a man a warning." Stede says as Izzy holds his sword up to his neck.

"That was your warning."

They start swinging their swords at each other. You stand there anxiously, watching. There is no way for Stede to beat Izzy. Israel Hands was the best man you knew with a sword.

Izzy gets a hit into Stede which stumbles the man backward. Izzy's swings become a little more furious. Stede falls onto the ground. Izzy stands over him with sword pointed down at him.

"Yield or die."

"I choose... this." Stede throws powder into Izzy's face, temporarily blinding the man. Izzy covers his face and stumbles backward. The crew cheer for Stede, but all you can think about is if you should step in or not.

Stede gets to his feet, he gives Izzy a smack on the backside with his sword. Izzy straightens up again and continues the fight.

Izzy disarmed Stede with ease. The gentleman pirate backs up against the mast.

"So, it looks like we've arrived, Bonnet. The end of the road." Izzy holds his sword up to Stede again.

"Alright. Let's call it a draw," Stede says, breathless.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Izzy, stop!" You try once more in vain, but it feels like he's ignoring you completely.

With a firm stab, Izzy's sword goes right through Stede's abdomen and into the mast, pinning him there.

You inhale sharply at Stede's scream.

"Did I do it right?" Stede asks Ed, looking at the other man. "He missed all the important bits..."

Izzy tries to pull the sword out, but to no avail. He pulls hard, grunting. You stare at him, mild confusion painting across your face.

"This mast... is made from the finest cherry wood in Brazil. It's rather strong, actually." Stede manages to say as Izzy continues to attempt to pull the sword out.

Edward looks flabbergasted.

You can't quite believe what you're seeing yourself.

"Shut up!" Izzy yells at Stede. "Don't you ever shut up?! You rancid rat!"

The sword breaks in Izzy's hand. The blade still pinning Stede to the mast. You feel a gasp escape last your lips.

Buttons laughs. "Well, now, Mr Hands. Reckon he's rendered your sword inoperable."

Izzy stands there with realisation on his face.

"By duelling tradition, that means..."

"Stede wins!" Frenchie yells. The crew all cheer. "In your face, Jizzy!"

Edward shrugs as Izzy looks at him.

You watch Izzy with concern. He walks off. You watch him. You don't care for what everyone else is doing. You take off after Izzy.

He disappears into his cabin, you follow him inside, not even knocking. He doesn't say anything to you about it as he faces away from you, shoulders tense.

"Izzy..."

"No." He speaks with a firmness, but not in an angry way. Just a firm 'no.'

"Izzy, please. That whole thing was stupid."

"You're telling me..."

You take a step closer to him hoping he will turn around and look at you. He remains facing the wall of his cabin.

"Just forget the duel! Forget everything."

"No. Rules are rules."

"Izzy..."

He turns around and looks at you, but only briefly. He looks like he struggles to look you in the eye.

"He promised me. I was fucking right all along. Edward's gone soft for that twat. Any trace of Blackbeard is gone and it's all because of fuckin' Bonnet."

Your arm twitches as if you were going to reach out and touch him, but you catch yourself. However, Izzy noticed the slight reaction in your hand. He kind of wished you would.

"Don't be stupid, Izzy. Stay. We'll figure all this out. Maybe there's another solution."

"No." He shakes his head, his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly. He's angry. Silently angry.

"It was a stupid fucking duel. Are you seriously going to leave?"

"I'm not a coward."

"I didn't say you were," your voice is almost pleading. "Don't go."

"Rules are rules," he says again. For a brief second his eyes meet yours and you can see all the emotion bottled up inside. You want to reach out and hold the man, caress him, get him to open up and talk to you.

But he won't.

Your breathing becomes uneven as you try to fight off any emotion. You will not cry in front of him.

"So that's it then? You're going to fuck off and... and what? Leave me behind? I only just found you again and you're leaving me?"

"You could come with me."

"And do what? Izzy, what would be the point? I only just found my way back home," you tell him.

"No. This isn't home. This is a lie. A facade. Home was back on our ship, back with Blackbeard's crew. Home is... is where we belonged. It's where we lived together."

A tear escapes and runs down your cheek. This was your breaking point.

"Fuck you," you whisper.

Izzy stares at you.

"Fuck you and this whole fucking thing." You take a couple slow steps back toward the door. "Fuck off then, Izzy. Leave me behind. Maybe... maybe I should have stayed a ghost story."

You don't hang around. You turn on your heel and leave.

Izzy catches his breath as he stares at his empty doorway.

"Fuck," he whispers.

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer -

[starfolk7]

5,7,9,15,21,22,27 and 30 for Charlotte, Aiko and Rowena 😼

Ahhhh, more of my girlies!! I haven't gotten to think on things for Aiko especially in forever, this will be so much fun!!! ;w;

Given the questions, the girls will mostly be answering for themselves and this will get pretty long. Also, assume a lot of these are answered after most respective main story events lol

5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

None of them are inherently ones for speeches, but here's some that I think they might give, though they're all on the informal side:

Rowena: "'Tis true that we're both stuck in this dying world. But does that really mean we have to forsake everything we hold dear? I think not. There are still things to hope for, souls to treasure. You speak truth, acknowledging the cruelty all around us. I, however, stand in defiance of that cruelty. It is the sole way I can continue to live. I only hope you join me in that endeavor."

Aiko: "War does not come to your doorstep and ask to be invited in. It tears down every barrier and cares little if you fall victim to its destruction. You never asked for any of this. Carrying on as if you did is doing you no favors. Stop acting as if you have something to prove to me. Be honest. I refuse to be kept in the shadows in the name of safety."

Charlotte: "How could you possibly know what true despair feels like? You lose once and you think you know it all? You haven't even scratched the surface. While humanity suffered an endless war, you and your heavenly Father sat on high and watched us BURN. Countless people I LOVED could have been saved if someone, ANYONE in Heaven bothered to care. But we weren't good enough to save, were we? Just little living toys for the Father that he could banish out of sight. And now, only now, you expect me to feel sympathy? After everything God, Heaven, YOU, have done?? You don't know SHIT about suffering! It's about fucking time something taught you what it's like!"

7. Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

How I describe Rowena: Selfless, stubborn, bouncy

How Rowena describes herself: "Um...I suppose...thoughtful, considerate, attentive? It's better to ask someone else how they see me."

How I describe Aiko: Gentle, thoughtful, witty

How Aiko describes herself: "Quiet...uninteresting, and small. I know what I am."

How I describe Charlotte: Passionate, kind, fierce

How Charlotte describes herself: "Stubborn, tiring, but also fun, I guess. I dunno, people liked me way back when, and the sinners and some machines like me well enough."

9. Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

Rowena: "I hardly let my little bird doll out of sight as a child. It went on every little adventure with me, and I felt terrible if it fell down or got dirty. Father also taught me how to care for various plants and how they like to hear people talk to them. I still sing songs to them sometimes. Don't tell Ornstein, though, I will simply perish if he finds out."

Aiko: "Every piece of nature is alive to me. I love chatting with the flowers! We have such riveting conversations, though they're a little one-sided. I even feel awful if a blanket is out of place and apologize to it as I'm setting it back. I'm sure that's been overheard more than once."

Charlotte: "Hasn't been a single day where I didn't. Books have always been like second pets to me, my dad was a florist, and my mom taught me to care for musical instruments like pedigree dogs. Is anyone really surprised that I befriended machines, sentient or otherwise?"

15. What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?

Rowena: "Cooking. I'm alright at the task, but can't it just be ready for me to eat in an instant? The whole process is laborious. Not that I get too hungry these days, being Undead, but the pang still hits me from time to time, and oftentimes I ignore it because of the work involved in solving the issue. I'll risk foraging strange berries over cooking anything. This might explain a few of my deaths."

Aiko: "Cruelty for the sake of it. Why travel down such a path when it's much easier to be kind in most instances? Oh, and fishing. You would think I'd be neutral on the task, but I find it boring and leave it to much more skilled people than myself. They can do that while I gather safe fruits and vegetables. I think that's a fair tradeoff."

Charlotte: "Religion. It was just a personal opinion before, but with everything I've experienced, it's only confirmed my 'heretical' belief system. Why waste time praying to a god that never wanted to listen to us, anyway? I'll put faith in myself long before I ever give that bastard a second thought again."

21. What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

Rowena: "This is a bit tricky, given my circumstances. I suppose wanton cruelty towards others. If there isn't a blatant reason for clashing with someone, my partner had best have a damn good one to explain going for a person's throat in the first place. Luckily, in Lordran, there's usually a very good reason for such actions."

Aiko: "Animal slaughter with no purpose. Killing an animal to survive, feed and clothe yourself and others, is one thing, but killing a creature for fun? This I can never accept. Call it childish, if you like, but I grew up loving every animal of Tsushima. Unless I need to, I can't imagine myself hurting them, and neither should my partner."

Charlotte: "I used to be able to say 'trying to kill me', but uh..." She gestures towards herself, then gestures somewhere vaguely out of view. "That's already happened a few times." She sighs. "Look, it's complicated, okay? I'm not claiming any of this makes sense, and I'm probably more confused on this whole issue than you are. Besides, that's not happening anymore, obviously. Fuck, I sound insane." She blows some hair out of her face. "But barring that...I guess turning their back on me. Already been fucked over in that regard multiple times in my life. I'm not gonna put up with that from someone that's supposed to be supporting me."

22. Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?

Rowena: "Oh, um..." She blushes a little. "Gods, I wasn't prepared for this question. But...yes. Pet names are endearing, especially when they get a bit creative. I've been called "sparrow" for most of my life, and that is one pet name that seems to have carried over to the present. Ornstein likes to see how I react to it." She rolls her eyes, then grins. "It's fine, though. The man's stoic exterior collapses the second I call him 'love' or 'my sunlight', so I think we're evenly matched."

Aiko: "Yes!!" She claps her hands, giggling a little. "I adore pet names. Mother and father always compared me to a fox, but Ryuzo calls me his little kitten. He says it's because I'm always sneaking in places I shouldn't be." She makes a face. "It's only partially true! Anyway, I like calling him Ryu. He stops in place whenever I do that. I really need to think of some more for him, just to see what happens..."

Charlotte: "Do I have to answer this question?" She grumbles under her breath, her face flushing pink. "I never asked for them, if that's what you mean. Mom liked calling me 'colibri'. French for 'hummingbird'. Dad called me 'katydid'. Either way, I didn't escape the speedy creature allegations." She hides part of her face with one hand. "...Gabe got attached to calling me 'hummingbird'. Of course he did. He claims it's only natural because of my mechanical wings, but I think he likes seeing me stumble a little. Maybe for old times' sake." She looks off to the side and smiles a little. "It's...kind of nice, though. Makes it even better when I can get him back with something equally stumble-worthy. 'Dove' was a no-brainer, but ever seen an archangel short circuit over a name? That's quality entertainment." She lowers her voice, her face flushing again. "And pretty damn cute but shhh-"

27. Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

Rowena: "I strive for forgiveness. But where that won't do, vengeance will suffice in its place. It all depends on the situation."

Aiko: "Forgiveness. I don't have much room for vengeance in my heart. It would take a dire situation to push me towards it. Some say I forgive too much. Perhaps they're right, but this is the way I am."

Charlotte: "Dad taught me forgiveness. Mom taught me vengeance. Lately, I'm leaning towards the latter. Mainly if I ever meet the person that made me a cyborg. Or God. Or any other angels that get ideas about fighting me. Either way, they're getting shot in the face."

30. What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

Rowena: "I would do everything in my power to ensure the other Knights of Gwyn survived as long as Ornstein has. Even if that meant changing the course of time. It would likely cause more suffering, but...my heart aches for him. They were truly his close friends, lost to tragedy. If I could ease that burden without suffering the consequences, I would allow Manus to snatch me thousands of times over until I got it right."

Aiko: "Overturn the Shogunate." She glances around a little. "I don't speak on it much for obvious reasons, but the samurai are not as pure and honorable as they parade themselves to be. Lower classes often suffer because of them. It's one thing I wish I could do, if only to put everyone on equal footing for once. But that would never be forgiven, in this lifetime or the next."

Charlotte: "Thin out Heaven's ranks before they got ideas." She raises an eyebrow. "I wouldn't kill all of them. Don't let Gabe give you that impression. Just enough to send a message from the kind they tried to oppress. So much could have been avoided if I were allowed to do it, but instead I had to scramble for my life while they hunted me down through Hell. Not exactly what I'd call a good time."

[expresso-bean]

(EXTRA) The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Answers

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 13.3k

POV: Third Person

Context: Future!Silver's Timeline

Masterlist ✦ Memories

'Mental M.S. Log Entry 4703: It's been SEVERAL days since the failure of Trail #13, and I'm starting to lose a bit of hope. Although I don't want to give up, I'm beginning to wonder...'

Silver set his empty glass of chocolate milk aside. The glass was still sticky with syrup since he didn't mix it all correctly. He stared it for a moment before continuing with his log entry.

'Aside from that, the side-effects from this trail are somehow worse than the other previous jumps. Could this be because of what happened?'

Silver held his stomach uncomfortably. He felt as if something inside of him would burst. It was normal after a time jump. Despite all the trials he has endured, he never gets used to the after-effects.

Brain fog, jitteriness, nausea, static-like body, fatigue.

The symptoms mostly meant he couldn't eat anything for the next 12 hours unless he wanted to get extremely ill. Liquids, mostly chocolate milk, would sustain him until tomorrow morning. He would be in the bathroom until the next day if he ate any solids.

'This isn't working. What if it never works? What if something worse happens? If I try again, and I can't find a way out, what will happen to me? More importantly, what will happen to this timeline?'

To say he was feeling defeated was an understatement. Silver was a complete mess. Trial #13 was supposed to be the breakthrough trial. However, a last-minute malfunction almost cost Silver his life.

What he saw left him slightly shaken, but he couldn't admit that. Not even to himself.

'What even was that place?'

'KNOCK. KNOCK'

"Son!? Have you returned already?"

'Oh! End Log Entry!'

Silver rushed to open the door, not even realizing he had locked it upon his return. Standing behind the door, ready to embrace Silver, was his father, Shadow.

"Father! I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had closed the doo-," Before Silver could finish his sentence, his father hugged him tightly. Silver melted slightly into his father's arms and whisper a quiet "hey."

"You're home," His father sighed with relief. He shakily pet Silver's quills and sighed before tugging him closer to him. It was difficult to rest his head anywhere since Silver was an inch or so taller than him. "I'm glad you made it back safe, my son."

He could hear the relief in his voice and the nervous shake in his touch. It was familiar to him. He did this each time Silver returned home safely from a trial.

"Wait," Silver pushed his father away to look at him for a second. His father smiled as big as he could and nodded for Silver to continue speaking. "how did you know I was here?"

"You left the chocolate syrup out."

"Oh."

Silver let go of his father to scratch the back of his neck. Then, he was able to get a good look at him.

His father hasn't changed much since he was little. The most was a couple of new scars on his body now and again. But he's always had the same two thick scars on his left shoulder and a thin, almost faded scar on his right eye that nearly left him blind if it weren't for Tail's astounding technology.

There were no new marks on his father. The only thing that stood out was his empty, tired eyes that forever had sadness embedded within them.

'Another hard battle no doubt,' Silver contemplated for a second, unsure of what to say next. 'If I don't say it now, I won't ever.'

"Father," Silver bit his lip, and Shadow looked at him, waiting for him to continue speaking. Silver was nervous, but if he didn't ask now, he would never get another chance to. "Do you still think this could work?"

"It has to. There's no other way."

Silver was taken aback by his father's bluntness. His words were so fast and cold, almost like they were rehearsed. Silver felt that his father was preparing for this question, and the fact he already had an answer ready to tell him bothered him slightly.

'Is this going to be like all those other questions? Where he gives me vague answers and refuses to tell me the whole truth? He expects me to risk my life for this cause, and still, he wants to keep secrets.'

"But-," Silver stopped himself. He knew what he wanted to say, but fear prevented him from uttering another word. Frustrated, he sighed and muttered a quiet "never mind" under his breath.

"No, don't say never mind," His father interjected. "What's troubling you? You can speak to me about anything, you know this."

"I know," Silver tried not to groan or seem ticked as he knew his father would see that as a sign of disrespect. He knew his father would pay extreme mind to him if he acted rudely. His father was always respectful to him, and even when he wasn't, he apologized and communicated what was bothering him. It was something that Silver had a hard time replicating. "but I'll be alright. I don't need to talk about it."

"It pains me that you don't trust me enough to tell me what's wrong." Shadow tried to look into Silver's amber eyes, but his son refused to look at him. "I will always be here for you. As your father, you ne-"

"I'm scared, okay!? I'm scared! You want me to risk my life and the fact you're still hiding things bothers me! You tell me to trust you, but you why won't you trust me, your own son!" Silver paused to take a breath. He didn't bother to look at his father's face as he attempted to collect himself again. "I didn't get to meet them, and I know that isn't my fault, but you have no right to keep so much from me."

"So-, Silver. You should have told me."

Silver couldn't respond. He only stared at his father silently. There was a deep sense of shame in what Silver had to say. He wanted to take the words back, to frame them differently. But he was sick of keeping it all in. There was no other option but to allow the emotions to burst out.

'How could I? You go through enough already. I don't need you to have to take on my emotional burdens when you still hold your fair share.'

"I'm going to go clear my head for a bit," Silver looked away from his father and darted towards his bedroom door. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

His father stood before him for a second, eying him into submission as his arms crossed over his pumped-out chest. Silver quickly got the message, lowered his body, and stepped back as a sign of respect. He could tell his father wasn't angry with him, but he didn't like that Silver was being emotional and not communicating why.

"We don't part ways while angry, son."

"I'm not angry, I'm overwhelmed!" Silver gritted his teeth, not wanting to cry or embarrass himself further. "I promise I'll tell you later, but I need some time to think, please."

His father looked reluctant at first but gave in and let Silver pass. He was timid as he brushed passed his father and entered the kitchen.

'I'll apologize later, but I need to know how to make this time watch work. If he really wants me to go and fix everything, I need to know how. And even more about this whole time thing.'

His father uttered nothing as Silver rushed out of the room and darted towards the door. Before leaving, he took the pair of black and red keys off the table.

A part of Silver wanted to leave without saying anything to his father. But that would again come off as disrespectful to him. He wanted to avoid as much conflict with his father as he could.

'Hm. I don't want to tell him where I'm going.'

Silver jiggled the keys in his hands as a signal that he would be leaving. His father stared at him blankly, waiting for Silver to say something to him. He sighed, nodded, and waved him off, permitting him to go wherever pleased.

"You may go, just be careful, and come back when you can. And please-"

"I know, father. I just need some time to myself."

Silver quickly gathered himself and left. Silver could feel his father's eyes on him and even caught the quiet "goodbye," his father sent his way when he walked out the door and shut it quietly to mask his emotional state.

Silver eyed his father's signature red and black motorcycle. He has only used it a handful of times, mostly because his father constantly uses it to get around. Not that he can't run, but his Uncle Tails modified it to be a stealth tool. It's completely silent while riding it and has a feature that allows you to blend the rider and the bike into the surrounding area.

'I need to make this quick. Knowing my father, he is probably waiting for me to get home.'

Silver hopped on the bike, adjusting his body and hands to fit the bike. The ignition softly roared at him, and after shifting the hand bar twice, he took off towards his uncle's old lab.

'I need to look for notes, blueprints, or a manual maybe. There must be something I'm not getting right. Why else is this not working?'

Luckily, the roads were empty, which was expected since there weren't many people around this area. People avoid this place like the plague. It was where the first attack was, after all. Silver couldn't blame anyone. He would want to get out of this area too. But his father refuses to leave. Everyone has their reasons; he only wishes to know why his father continues to live in a place where most of his friends are buried.

'I wonder what they were like... If it all goes well, I get to meet them, right?' Silver eyes widened a bit at the thought. His father had told him the plan thousands of times, but he still gets anxious about meeting her. 'I wonder what Mom will say. When she sees me. If anything, I'm more worried about what I will say. I have so much to ask her... and so little time to do all of it.'

Silver let out a shaky breath. He only knew his mother through the questions he would ask his father. But now he will get the chance to meet her. Really MEET her. He gets a bit overwhelmed whenever he thinks about it.

'I'm going to crash if I don't start paying attention to the road...'

There wasn't a single thought in Silver's mind when he pulled up to the old laboratory. A broken, decaying red plane was still parked in the driveway. The lab itself was still in good enough condition other than the door being slashed open.

'It looks like someone broke in. But then why would the plane still be there? There are plenty of valuable parts still on it even if it is a bit run down.'

Silver carefully hopped off the bike. He looked around the landscape of where he was at. There wasn't a soul in sight. Just miles of dirt and the ever-so-often tree.

'I should get inside. I don't want to call attention to myself.'

Upon opening the heavy and slashed door, a flood of memories came rushing back to him.

'So much happened here. I spend some of my best days here with Uncle Tails and Aunt Cream,' Silver pushed the bike inside and took the keys out and  shoved it into his pocket. Silver took a moment to look around for a second. 'I've only come back here a handful of times with my father, but I've never dared to come here alone. Not since that day. Still, it hasn't changed much.'

Silver didn't bother to look for a light switch. Tail's workshop had been abandoned for years. The natural light inside the lab was barely enough for Silver to see properly, but he was willing to work with what he was given.

'Where do I even begin?'

Silver squatted down near a metal desk and began rummaging through the drawers. There were folders upon folders of notes, but none related to the time device.

He continued to search on the desk and found nothing but tools he didn't know how to use and blueprints for devices that never got the chance to be made.

'This is interesting... but still not what I'm looking for.'

Silver got up and placed his left hand softly over his mouth.

"Uncle Tails, where'd you hide everything?"

Silver slowly got up and leaned against the cold, metal table. He let his right arm hang loose as he ruffled his brows to try and think of where more he could search.

'I don't know what I'm looking for,' Silver softly groaned in frustration. 'Uncle Tails... you were the only one who knew... why did you have to leave everyone so soon?'

'SNATCH!'

Silver shivered as the cool metal was ripped away from his wrist. Panicked, Silver swished his arms around into the open air around him but couldn't feel anything or anyone.

"Hey! What was that?" Silver looked around. There wasn't a single dim corner in the shed. He would have known if there was someone in there with him. "Give that back!"

"The time device."

A sultry, deep voice echoed through the workshop. Silver jumped a bit, freaked out by the mysterious voice. He looked around the room, and still, he couldn't see anyone in there with them.

"That means the stone was real," Silver couldn't recognize the voice. It ticked him off since his sense of control over the situation was at a minimum. "Where did you obtain this?"

"I'm not going to give out information like that to just anyone.  I don't even know who you are!"

Something  moved from the wall opposite him. It was faint, but he could barely make out the unstructured outline of a figure in the dim room. When the outline moved again, Silver stepped to try and get away from it. 

'What the? What is that?'

The outline glowed  purple and  covered the being's body and revealed... someone. Their skin was fuchsia with a peach body. Where a nose would be, there was a broken yellow horn, the same yellow as his barren eyes framed with black. He wasn't wearing much gear. Just some tattered purple and black shoes and white gloves with beige bandages wrapped at the end to keep them from slipping off.

'He's too small to be a rhino... and too big to be a beetle... what is he?'

Silver kept staring at the person in front of him, who had a hard time maintaining eye contact with him. Silver sensed a bit of fear from him, but he couldn't have any sympathy for someone who stole that precious device of his.

"Who are you?"

He stepped away from Silver for a second, carefully clutching the device in his hands. Silver put his hand out gently, and he noticed the man untensed his body, and although his nerves were calm, it wasn't enough to return the watch.

"My name is not important," The man spoke. "I would have remembered it if it was."

"Oh," Silver blurted out. He shook his head and then continued. "I'm sorry you can't remember."

'This is awkward. I want to help him, but I have to get the time to watch back.'

"You said 'he' earlier. Did you know my uncle Tails?"

The man tried to think, his forehead wrinkled while trying to recognize if the name rang any bells. He shook his head and looked at the watch closely before flipping it over. He took a second to read the lettering on the back. Still, even long after reading it, he stood still.

'What is he doing?'

He walked up to Silver and grabbed him by the wrist. He clipped the device back on.

"I know that name. That person is deceased. I do not remember him as you do, but I cannot take this. This is yours now."

'Mine? If uncle Tails isn't the 'he' this guy was talking about, then who is?'

"You never answered my question," The man looked at him, confused. Silver thought about each out touching his shoulder, but doing that might staler him, so he decided to smile at him softly. "Did you know my uncle Tails?"

"He was murdered. I feel like I should know who he is," The man gripped his head with a shaky hand. "But I do not."

"It's okay, um, let me see if this helps. His name was Tails. Tails the Fox? This was his lab and he liked to make gadgets and planes. Uh, he made a lot of devices, like this watch. He was friends with Sonic the Hedgehog and married Cream the Rabbit. Does that help at all?"

"Tails. Sonic. Cream," Silver looked at him, anticipating what he had to say. "There were several of you. But, no, they are not the ones I search for. He wasn't the one who proposed the idea of the Time Stone."

'He remembers several of them. That's progress! Who does he remember though?'

"You are different. You were not there when it happened." The man walked over to him and looked him up and down. Silver tensed when he gripped his waist and patted him down along his frame. His face turned hot and he tried to look away to hide his embarrassment. "No, you're too young. You could not have even been alive then."

"Y-yeah, I-I don't remember you either," Silver stepped away from him and cleared his throat. He took a breath to try and relax. He didn't want to embarrass himself further. "I-I wouldn't worry about it. I don't remember a lot of them either. But I know what group you are talking about, at least, I think I do."

"You do?"

"I think so? There were several groups, at least, according to my father,"

'I know their names. Rouge the Bat, Knuckles the Echidna, Sally Acorn, and Vector the Crocodile, but nothing about who they were or what they did in their life. Everyone kept me in the dark. And he doesn't remember either. We'll need to help each other if we want to reveal the truth.'

"You said you didn't remember Sonic, Cream, or Tails. Does Amy or Shadow ring a bell?"

The man's eyes practically lit up. Silver could tell he had recalled something.

"Shadow! I need to speak with Shadow!" He gripped Silver's shoulders,  scaring him a bit. "Do you know where I could find him?"

"You remember! That's great!" Silver smiled, happy he was able to make a bit more progress with the man. "Yeah, I know him. He's my father after all."

The man looked confused, at tilted his head.

"Father?" The man seemed surprised. Silver couldn't blame him. According to his aunt, Shadow wasn't known to be the 'lovers' type. "You're his son?"

"The one and only," Silver stepped away from the man and looked himself over, trying to find a feature that would relate to his father, but realized there was really nothing they physically had in common. "I don't look like either of my parents, so, I understand the confusion."

'I also wonder how black, red, and pink made silver...eh, maybe a relative on my mother's side.'

"But, you remember my father, correct?" Some hope fluttered in Silver's chest seeing the man nod his head. "My mother was also a great fighter, just like him. Her name was Amy, Amy rose. Do you remember her at all?"

Silver looked a bit hopeful. He longed to hear about his mother, to learn as much as he can about her. She lives through the stories of his family. He wants more of her memory; that's all he could ever ask for.

"Amy Rose," The man thought about it again. Silver felt that the name sounded familiar, but it seemed that the man couldn't come up with anything. "I'm sorry, I do not."

"It's okay, I don't either. I never really go to meet her."

"That must... be difficult."

"Sometimes."

Silver stretched out the word awkwardly, trying to mask the sadness. 'Difficult' was an understatement. Even if he wanted to get into how he felt, he wouldn't know where to begin. There are so many emotions, too many questions, and way too many thoughts that he could write a book about it. But even that wouldn't be enough. He'd run out of pages and ink.

"I can empathize with how you feel. Though I should know these names, it's as if I have never met them. It's a lonely feeling. I fault myself for not being able to understand."

The man tensed his fists until his arms were bulging from emotion. He looked panicked. Silver knew he had to do something before he had a panic attack. That or something worse.

"Hey, no, don't do that," Silver grabbed his hand in his and laid his other hand atop his. "None of this is your fault. You didn't ask to be this way."

The man didn't say anything. Silver could feel his blood warm through the gloves. It was the heat of humiliation.

'Should I ask him? Does he blame himself because he knows, or because he doesn't?'

"You don't happen to remember how you lost them, do you?"

The man looked down in shame. Silver's intuition was correct; he didn't know how he lost his memories.

"My mind is a puzzle I cannot fix. A piece appears every now and again, but I have no idea how to arrange it, or where it should even go, or if it is even real or not," The man scoffed at himself, probably frustrated with his own scattered mind. "I wonder if the memories are worth uncovering. Perhaps it is trying to protect me. But I supposed I'll never know."

'He looks sad...' Silver looked around the room for a bit. He understood the man more than ever. The man longs to remember, while Silver wishes to attain unspoken memories. There is something admirable about that. 'My father knows about him, he must know what happened.'

"If you want to remember," Silver nodded toward the man. "Then I'm going to help you get your memories back. You said you knew my father, right?"

"I believe so."

"If there is anyone who could help you, it's him. He knows... he knows a lot of things. He probably knows what happened to you," The man's mouth pursed. It was difficult to explain what the man may be thinking, but Silver could tell he was in pain. The mention of how he lost his memories makes him tense. His mind doesn't remember, but his body certainly does. "I would take you back to the house, but you don't fit on my bike. Just say here, I'll be back for you."

"He'll be here?"

"Yes, he'll be here. I promise."

"Okay," The man took a breath, almost as if he were worried about something and trying to reassure himself. "Just, come back. Even if it isn't with him."

"Hey," Silver placed an arm on his shoulder, ensuring eye contact. "I promise, I'll come back for you. No matter what."

"Mhm."

Silver nodded at him and let go of his hands. The man clutched his fists and backed away slightly.

"Just hang out here. And hide if you see them pass by,"

Silver could feel the fear in that man's soul. He didn't even have to say their names. He knew who they were. Everyone knew who they were.

'He knows about Ace and Anti. I wonder if that's how he lost his memories. He doesn't remember them, but he has to have fought alongside them if he remembers my father and time device.'

"I'm off. I'll be back as soon as I can."

The man didn't look back at him. He had the same expression as he did when he wanted to remember something but couldn't.

"Please be careful. I need your help more than you know."

"I will, don't worry about me."

The man looked at Silver, confused.

"I-I did not speak?"

Silver simply blinked at him.

"Huh?"

The man looked away and waved him off. Silver blushed as he quickly left the garage with his bike in tow. He could tell the man didn't want him lingering around him anymore, and truthfully, he needed to get back to his father before he worried him more than he already has.

'He spoke to me. I swear I heard him,' Silver fished the keys out of his jacket pocket and hopped on the bike. The road in front of him was vast. Just as he expected it to be. 'I must be hearing things. Maybe I'm stressed, or crazy, or something... Ugh, what's crazy is that I'm hearing voices in my head.'

It wasn't the first time Silver had heard voices. When he was little, he could swear he heard his father talking. But whenever he asked about it, he would deny ever speaking. As he grows older, it is harder to ignore. He hears the voice clearly, like they are within his mind. But he never hears an echo or vibration in the area around him.

'Maybe I am crazy. Psychological stress maybe? I did grow up in a war zone. It wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility.'

Silver began his journey back to his house. He picked up the pace a bit, going fast enough to not draw too much attention to himself. 

'Why would you come by the lab if you don't remember the person who lives there?' He tried to focus on the road, but a thought kept nagging him. 'He remembers my father, that's a given. But why the lab? Unless he was after the device and just hoped my father would be there.'

Silver bit his lip. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation. He sympathized with the man as he knows the struggle of wanting to connect with people he doesn't know. The man could have easily hurt him, or worse. Yet, he didn't. He seemed to have no mal intentions. He could have killed him from the beginning. He could have taken the time device and ran. He could have turned him in and sold him for profit.

'But he didn't. He's looking for my father for a reason, and I'm going to help him figure out why.'

Silver was quick to park the bike in front of his house. Still being careful enough so that it wouldn't fall or tip over. He ran up to the door and opened it, hoping to see his father waiting for him. Luckily, he was. He was resting at the table with his eyes closed, his arms crossed around his chest, and his head tilted backward.

"Father!"

His father jolted up and looked at Silver, who most likely looked like a sweaty maniac by now.

"Son, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm okay, I'm fine, but needed to ask you something!"

Silver was so out of breath that he took a pause. He wanted to spill out his sentences as fast as he could, but his body didn't let him say everything he wanted to.

"Calm down, you're worrying me."

"No! I'm honestly okay!" Silver took one more breath before speaking again. "I need your help. I met someone, someone really cool, I think! He knows about Anti, Ace, the time device, EVERYTHING! I have a picture of him, do you think you can identify him?"

"I suppose? What did he look like?" Silver pressed a couple of buttons on his wristband, and an image of a mysterious fuchsia man appeared in a small projection above his wrist. He was glad he snuck in a scan of the man when he did. "Espio,"

'Espio. At least I can give him a name now. What does he have to do with me traveling through time?'

"I haven't seen Espio since I found the stone."

"You do know him! I knew it! You are the only person he seems to remember!" Silver laughed in relief and shut off the projection. "He's looking for you."

"He is?"

"Yes, and I want to know why."

His father looked somber while staring at the projection. The same look of guilt on his face when he talked about his deceased friends.

'Something happened. He knows why Espio can't remember things. Are you going to hide things from me, or are you going to tell me what happened?'

Silver took a seat down in front of his father. He followed suit and sat back down in the chair he was dozing off in minutes before.

"Espio the Chameleon. I've known him long before the war even started. He was an old friend of Sonic. He was truly a good man of his time. He was among the first to help us back when this war began. He was as smart as he was skilled," Shadow paused for a second. Which meant he was measuring the words he wanted to say. Meaning that he was looking to hide more information from Silver. "However, that made him a threat to Ace and Anti. You know what they like to do with people they deem threats."

'A chameleon, huh? That explains the horn.'

"A threat," Silver paused for a second. He's only known Espio for less than an hour, yet, he could tell he had a fighter's spirit in him. Silver couldn't even sense him back in the lab. And when he expressed distress over the Time Device, he gave it back with zero hesitation. He came back for a reason, a noble one, no doubt. But that doesn't explain why they would go after Espio specifically when there were other fighters like Sonic and his father. "What would Ace and Anti want with Espio? Is that why he can't remember anything?"

"You already know about Ace's abilities, and when they figured out how could manipulate hordes of people to fight her battles for her, Espio was her first target," Shadow took another pause. Silver wanted to roll his eyes. Was he trying to hide information again, or was it because it hurt to remember? Silver liked to think I was both, but unfortunately, his father would never tell him. "Extreme intelligence and strength were exactly what she needed to help her manage her army. She got into his mind and searched for his weakness. When it got down between letting the love of his life live or giving himself to Ace, he choose to sacrifice himself."

'Why did I expect anything less from Ace. Espio doesn't seems like the type of person to give himself up. What did she do to him?'

"Did those monsters kill them anyways?"

"No, Mighty is still alive. I lost track of him years ago."

'That's a first. Maybe she needed alive in case Espio got out of line.'

"Wait, so if Espio chose to give into them, how is he still alive? And how does he know about the time device?"

"Espio promised Mighty he would find him again. The one thing you should know about Espio is he puts honor above all else. He told Mighty he would find him again, but he needed to escape Ace and Anti if he wanted to do that."

"Hm," Silver was impressed. Not only did he endure Ace and Anti for years, he escaped, and then went on to keep living. Be it with no memories but alive, no doubt. "He's the luckiest, most unlucky, guy around."

"That poor soul," Shadow uncrossed his arms from his chest and relaxingly crossed them on the tabletop. He leaned his body forward, maintaining his posture as he did so. "Espio fought hard to gain his control back. Fighting against an old friend like him is complex. But even forcing my hand against him, it felt like fighting a cheap imitation."

"Do you think he still remembered you?"

"I would like to believe so. but no one can be sure. What I am certain of is how, through all of the battles and agony, he was determined to gain control over his mind. It could be why he was not fighting to his full potential."

'I knew it. That explains his reactions and how he remembers to fight and remain stealthy. His mind might have forgotten, but his body still remembers.'

"How long did he stay like that?"

"Years, too many years," Shadow sighed, looking down at the table. "It broke his mind. Completely shattered his psyche. When he regained some sense of control, he came looking for me, but by then, it was far too late. Tails was gone. He didn't know who he had lost, but he still grieved upon hearing the news,"

'He didn't remember who he was. If it eats at him now, I can't believe how he must have felt then.'

"Espio, most likely, doesn't remember it, but I certainly do. He knew he had a mission, but he will never know what it was."

'...He knew about the time stone. He only remembers my father. Could it be that it actually... Espio's idea?'

"Father," Silver paused. Did he really want to know the answer? Not that it would change anything; he was worried that his father wouldn't bother to tell him the answer. He never specifically said it was Tails' idea; it was mostly just assumed. But could it be that Espio figured out how to travel back in time, and Ace found out about it? Was that the real reason he was targeted? "Whose idea was it to travel back in time?"

Shadow seemed a bit taken aback by the question. Like physically taken aback. Silver didn't realize it was that serious of a question.

'Is he actually going to tell me something important?'

"Dr. Robotnik would talk about the time stone as many times as he talked about the chaos emeralds. He believed if he got his hand on that stone, he could bring back Maria,"

'It was his idea?! Why would he hide something like this from me?'

"I thought it was nothing but a myth of an insane man gripping at straws to escape his own grief. I called him a loon for searching for a stone that might not even be real," Shadow laughed bitterly at his words. Silver could sense the sadness in his father. He was undoubtedly going to talk about his mother next. "I understand him now more than ever. I too followed him and did whatever possible to bring back someone I loved dearly. The difference is I found the stone. I was prepared to bring back your mother, to fix this war. Even if it killed me,"

'But, what does Espio have to do with this?'

"Eventually, I confided in Tails to set the device up for me. He believed me to be too reckless to send me back. So, I had to make the choice to send someone else."

Then, it hit Silver. Clear as day, he knew why Espio was at the lab. There was no other reason.

"It was supposed to be him, wasn't it?" Silver asked slight annoyance in his voice. "You wanted him to do this, not me."

"I never wanted you to be a part of this, any of this," Shadow shook his head and leaned forward in his chair. "You were still an infant when I mentioned the time stone, and still a toddler when I found it. How was I supposed to send you off to fight for a future when you barely understood the world you were living in?"

"So that's it? I was nothing but a replacement to you?" Shadow looked offended and gave him a look to calm down. But Silver was feeling hurt, and he refused to keep his mouth shut any longer. "I thought YOU choose me. I thought I was special to you. But no, it turns out I was just the second choice. You expect me to risk never seeing you again for a job you NEVER wanted me to do?"

"That is not what I said, you know-"

"No! I don't know, DAD. You never want to tell me anything! It's always something. 'I can't tell you that Silver', 'You'll find out later Silver', 'You understand, right Silver?'. Well, no! I don't understand. Because you never want to explain ANYTHING to me."

"I tell you plenty! I say what I must to maintain order," Shadow sighed, hating the way his voice raised at Silver. But Silver kept staring at him in silence, waiting for him. "I did not want you to fight in this war. I never wanted this life for you. I chose Espio to protect you from all this. But now you are a part of it, I have to hide some things to preserve both the past and future. You need to respect that."

"The more you hide from me, the less I trust you! I would have known this if you had just told me! Now I look like an idiot because we don't communicate!" Silver felt a rush of heat form on his face. He didn't know how to phrase it, his words. They wanted to rush out and get the conversation over with. But he still had so much to say. He needed to preserve his dignity and stand up for his feelings without an apology. "What was the plan for me? To stand around in an empty wasteland forever without knowing about mom? Or what happened to her friends? To wait around and die? No, I'm not doing that! I'm going to help this future, and I don't care that you never wanted me to!"

"You listen to me. All of that is far from the truth and you know it. Tails wanted you to do this job. He designed the watch for you. He wanted to train you. He sacrificed EVERYTHING for you. I never want to hear you say that you were second fiddle. You were never that to him."

"I know what I was to him, I never doubt that Uncle Tails loved me dearly, almost like a son. But not to you. I was second choice to you," Silver eyes filled with hot tears. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Not in front of his father. And not at a moment like this. "I bet you never even wanted me."

"Silver, do not EVER say that I did not want you. I love you, I loved you even before I saw you. Your mother and you were my world, my pride, my love. That never changed when she passed away. You are my son. Mine alone. You are what I live for; the same goes for your mother."

"Why should I listen to you? I'm starting to think all of this lying is to protect yourself rather than me," Silver squinted his eyes, and he saw Shadow hesitate for a second, and it suddenly clicked for him. "This was to save her, right?"

"Silver, that isn-"

"That's why Uncle Tails couldn't trust to send you back. You were too reckless to go back on your own."

"If all you are going to do is assume I will not participate in whatever conversation you think you are having with me."

"This wasn't about stopping them at all. You wanted to save her," Silver felt his eyes water. He looked over at his father. He hadn't noticed he had been crying. "What did Mom die from again?"

"I am done talking about this," Shadow stood up from his chair, making it squeak loudly. "Go to your room Silver. That is an order."

"Well, that's you. I for one am not done talking. I-"

Shadow slammed his hands on the table, demanding Silver's attention. Silver didn't flinch as his father's eyes glowed with anger. Rather, Silver squinted, letting his father know he wasn't scared of him.

"Go. To. Your. Room." Shadow's voice seethed with frustration. Silver didn't care. He wasn't scared of his father. He respected him, but Silver knew he wouldn't lay a hand on him. "Before I make you."

"I was just leaving."

Silver shoved his fists in his pocket, feeling around the empty space for the keys to the bike outside.

'I made a promise to Espio. I will go back to him. Although, my father is choosing not to join us. At least I can tell him what my father knows about him. I hope Espio will understand.'

"Silver, do not go outside this house!"

"Too bad!"

Silver slammed the door behind him. He heard nothing as he rushed to the bike. He quickly turned it on and took off without looking back. He just wanted to forget everything he said to his father. He doubted his father even cared about what he had to say.

'I am not going to let him play me for a fool like this! He wants to do all of this to get her back, not because of me.' Silver blinked away some of his tears. He didn't want to ride the bike with tears in his eyes. He's done that before and it didn't solve his problems. It left his eyes puffy, sore, and dry. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. 'What does that do to me? Does he love me for being me? Or because I am the last thing she left behind?'

"WOAH!"

'What the hell was that!' Silver squinted his eyes and focused on the figure in the mirror. His breath hitched. He knew that black and red frame anywhere. 'Is that-?'

"SILVER IF YOU DON'T PULL OVER RIGHT THIS INSTANCE I WILL-"

'He'll what? He wouldn't hurt me... right?'

"NO! I'M GOING TO TALK TO ESPIO!"

Silver yelled at the image of his father from the mirror, which was becoming a bit closer with each word he spoke. Silver could feel the heat of fear grow on his face. He knew what he was doing was wrong.

'I made a promise. I'm not going to hold off on it because of him!'

Silver turned the handle and placed the bike to maximum speed. He didn't have time to conceal the vehicle, not that it would do him any good anyway. His father was already hot on his trail.

"AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME."

Silver did a hard turn. In his mirror, he could still see his father trailing behind him. His eyes squinted from the harsh winds and he began to regret not putting on some glasses before his plan.

'I got to lose him. And fast,'

The longer stared at his father's figure, he almost gasped at what he noticed. His father was sporting his house slippers rather than his rocket shoes.

'Wait,' Silver looked toward the road ahead and rolled his shoulders back to relax. 'Although I'm impressed, I still might be able to lose him.'

"SILVER I-"

What Shadow was about to say was out of earshot. Silver slammed his foot on the gas. The way the tired ripped beneath the dirt road made him cringe. It was too loud for his liking, and a sense of dread warmed his body. He understood the risk he took, but the last he heard of Ace and Anti, they were far away from this part of the city.

'I'll add that to the list of things I'll be getting an earful for tonight.'

Silver slammed on the brakes next. He held onto the handles for dear life as the bike stopped. His bottom lifted off the seat briefly before he regained his balance.

"Eek!"

'I hope no one saw that. That was embarrassing.' Silver felt a sense of relief when he turned around and saw a vast field of nothing and no one. It wasn't to say his father was not on his way to get him, but that he still had a chance to make sure Espio knew he stuck to his promise. 'I'm done hiding how upset this makes me. I know what will happen once I fix everything. Before it ends, I want to know as much as I can.'

"Shadow?"

"No," Silver quickly closed the garage door behind him. Thought the lights didn't work, the afternoon sunlight lit up the room through the slashes in the door. "it's Silver again, remember?"

"Yes," He nodded. Silver noticed he was in sitting right in the same place he had left him, as if he hadn't  moved a muscle in the entire time he was gone. "you were just here, weren't you?"

"Sure was," Silver felt a sense of relief go to his face as he smiled. "So, I told my father about you!"

"Really?" 

"Yes, really!"

Silver nearly took a step back when Espio stood up. The chameleon breathed out an airy chuckle of relief. What surprised him the most was his smile. It was bright and soft as the sun hitting his face. He was so deep in his emotion he his hand to his cheek and clawed at the corner of his mouth. 

'I guess he couldn't believe it either. I don't blame him.' 

Silver's guilt didn't even let him crack a smirk. He was so nervous about his father bursting through the door at any moment he could only stand there in fear. 

'What will I even say to him? It isn't like he isn't coming.'

"What did he say about me?"

"So what I found out wa-"

'BANG! BANG! BANG!'

"I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE SILVER! OPEN THIS DOOR OR SO HELP ME I WILL BUST IT OPEN!"

"Is that Shadow?" Silver quietly nodded. "Is he... okay?"

"Nope," Silver turned around timidly. He could make out his father in between the slashed metal. Luck would have it that his father didn't notice Silver looking right at him. "but I don't want you to know what will happen if I don't open that door myself. You don't mind, do you?"

"I am not equipped for this."

Silver sighed, not knowing why he even asked. Espio hadn't seen Shadow in years. The last thing he would want to see from his long-time friend is his angry face because of a mistake his son did.

"Right," Silver exhaled sharply. He was so nervous he couldn't open the door himself. "I'll just get the door."

He reached out his hand and a blue mist illuminated around the door. He moved his hand up slightly, and the door followed suit, making a loud screech echo through the room. Shadow stood there with his arm crossed watching Silver with an unamused look on his face. Silver let go of the door and stepped aside as his father walked in to stand in front of him. He noticed as his father's chest rose and fell and wondered if it was from how angry he was or from being out of breath getting there. 

'Just say something. He isn't going to hurt you or anything.'

"F-father. Hi."

For how Shadow was yelling at him earlier, Silver expected him to scream at him from the moment he opened the door. Yet, he didn't. In actuality, Silver noticed his father was unusually calm.

'He's... quiet.'

Shadow was standing at the doorway in silence. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were shut forcibly, undoubtedly from all the pent-up emotion within him.

'Too quiet,' Silver started at his father, waiting for him to say something to him, anything at least. 'he's scaring me a bit.'

Silver noticed his father wasn't acting as he usually was when upset. His foot wasn't tapping, nor was he looking at Silver. Silver's shoulders tensed up slightly when he realized the position he had put himself in.

'Oh shit. He's livid.'

"Silver. I am very, very, VERY upset with you. And I will not yell at you in front of company. But I am sure you know what we will discuss later at home."

'There it is,' Silver held in a sigh. One part of him knew it was his own doing that his father was so upset. The other part, however, still blamed his father. 'If he had just talked to me more, none of this would have happened!'

"Yes, father, but before we do," Shadow looked unimpressed as he opened his eyes just to glare at Silver. "I stand by everything I said."

"Not now Silver," Shadow groaned as he turned around toward Espio. For a moment, he forgot the chameleon was witnessing the entire interaction between him and his father. He would have been embarrassed, but he was too busy looking at the reunion between the two. His heart melted at Espio's reaction when Shadow walked toward him. The way his eyes were widened Silver would have thought the other was looking at one of the world's wonders. "Espio. It's been some time."

"Shadow. I-I remember you," Espio looked Shadow in the eye before bowing to him like royalty. His father wasn't bluffing when he said Espio was a man of honor and respect. "I remember what I had to do."

"My old friend, you have nothing left to do," Shadow lifted Espio up and pulled him into a hug. Espio's body tensed up, but he soon sank in. Silver could tell Espio had forgotten what a hug felt like. And his father just reminded him how it felt like to be cared for. "You could rest easy now."

"Wait, that isn't right," Espio released himself from Shadow. "I...I had to complete the mission. It is what... I was meant to do. Was it not?"

"Not anymore," Shadow shook his head. He then looked toward Silver. He sighed. "Whatever mission you were to complete will be fulfilled by my son, Silver."

Espio looked at Silver long and hard. It was clear that he was analyzing the sixteen, almost seventeen-year-old. Silver paid no mind to it; he could always rely on his senses to tell him what Espio was feeling.

'You know, I'd rather not know what he thinks of me right now.'

"Shadow, are you positive? I understand that I know nothing of your son, yet, I wonder if he is capable of completing something like this?"

"Why'd you say it like it's a bad thing?" Silver mumbled, kicking a stray pebble to the other side of the room. 'I am more than capable of defending myself against him. I didn't know I was supposed to fight him with everything I had earlier.'

Shadow sighed and looked toward his son. Silver still refused to make eye contact with either of them. Shadow could tell his son was still fuming from the comments earlier.

"He has his faults and irrationalities, I admit that he had some maturing to do," Shadow tried to reach out for him, but Silver was too distracted to notice and accidentally stepped away. It made Shadow frown slightly, but he hoped everything could be cleared up after dinner. "But Silver is my son. He is capable of doing what he pleases with that mind of his."

"Both literally and figuratively."

Shadow gave Silver the side-eye, which wiped off the little smile on his face. Silver just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, again beginning to mumble angsty jargon under his breath.

"R-right, I believe in your judgment Shadow. I meant no disrespect to your son,"

'Sure,' Silver mocked in his head. 'I hope we get to train together so I can show you how I really fight.'

"I would never disrespect the person who promised me so much."

"Oh," Silver uncrossed his arms, and both men turned to look at him, wondering what else the silver-quilled hedgehog had to say. "Espio...."

"Yes?"

'I think it would be best for everyone, right? Just say it, I should just say it.'

"Come home with us."

Silver looked at his father, surprised at what he had said. It was exactly what he had been thinking and contemplating since he met the chameleon.

'Yes, this way I won't get yelled at by my father!'

"Home? With you?" Espio glanced at Shadow, who nodded at him. "Shadow, am I honored, but I am in no need of your assistance. I still have one mission left to complete before I could think of resting."

'Mission? Is that why he needed the time device?' Silver looked at his father's face. His eyes looked sad. 'No, it's something else. It seems personal. If he really needed the time device for it, he would have taken it and ran.'

"Espio," Shadow shook his head. "I have lost track of Mighty five years ago. If you are so instant on finding him, I will help you," Shadow looked behind him, signaling over to Silver, looking through some files on his wristlet. "Believe me, if you continue searching, you will only lose more of yourself."

Espio's pupils seem to shake at that statement. Silver could sense a deep anguish within him. Within them both.

'They're alike, aren't they? My dad and him. The only difference is...'

"You lost track of him..." Espio chest battered out an empty chuckle. His eyes pooled over with tears. A memory resurfaced. No one could tell what it was, but Silver felt content knowing that Espio had found a piece of himself again. "I-I remember now..."

"You remember?" Shadow visibly restrained himself from jumping on the man. He cleared his throat and mumbled a soft apology. "What is it that you remember?"

"It-It's not important to what we are trying to accomplish. Mighty was one of the most impatient people I knew. I should have known he would not wait around for me forever."

'He was supposed to stay. He said he would wait, that it could have been forever. How long has forever been?'

"Ow." Silver whisper went unnoticed by Espio and his father. Though he was looking right at Espio, Silver didn't see his lips move at all. Yet, it was his voice clearly playing in his head. "What was that?"

'Mighty,' Silver never heard the name before. He most likely didn't fight in the war. His father would have mentioned him by now if he was. 'Whoever he was, he was important enough to Espio to look for my father. Time device aside. My father knows who he is.'

"He said he would wait for you forever, right?" Espio nodded and mumbled something under his breath. "Someone who loves you would wait forever."

Espio moved his hand toward his heart. Silver's words had greatly touched him, yet, Silver could still see his face scrunched up with hurt.

"I suppose so."

"We should get home," Shadow interrupted. "You must be starving if you came here all the way from the ruins in Mobotroplis."

"I came from the Temple."

The room went silent for a moment. Silver looked over to his father who had a frown on his face.

The Temple was something Silver knew so little about despite it being the reason he could time travel in the first place. His father rarely mentions the place, only bringing it up when talking about acquiring the stone. It wasn't surprising to Silver that he never elaborated on where the Temple was or what else could be inside.

'Whatever it is, that look he's giving Espio means that whatever was near that Temple is bad news.'

"The Temple? As in the one I found the stone from?"

"Is there...another one?"

"No, it's just, that's so far from here. What were you doing all the way out there for?"

"I was retracing my steps, trying to remember why I only remembered you so vividly,"

His father's face strained, and Espio kept his eyes fixed on that look. Silver could not bring himself to say anything. Not the look, not the temples, or how his father keeps his secrets even to his friends.

'It's strange.'

"It's strange."

'That's what I'm saying.'

"We...We'll discuss this later. Son, take him home. I'll meet you there."

"Yes, father."

"And Silver," Silver straightened his posture as his father approached him. Shadow pointed to the bike parked outside the lab. "If you know what's good for you, go straight home. Don't pull something like that with me again."

"Yes, I know."

"I forgot how off putting he makes others feel."

"Yep, that sounds like a memory I would have kept repressed," Silver looked to him to see if he'd even react. But there wasn't even anger in his stone-set face. Silver smiled awkwardly and began walking to his bike. Espio followed suit. "Sorry, bad time to be making jokes," Silver mounted the bike and adjusted the mirrors before turning it on. Silver looked at Espio and patted the back seat. "Just hold on tight. don't need you falling out."

Silver had to stop himself from shivering from how cold Espio was. His hands rested lightly on his shoulders. But before Silver could ask him to tighten his grip, he saw his father approaching them. He didn't even look at Silver; he grabbed Espio by the hands and adjusted his grip on Silver's shoulders.

"You have to grab on the right way, or you'll fall. Now, let's get going."

"Right," Espio answered meekly. Silver kept his gaze on the open road ahead of him, waiting for his father to take the lead before he even thought about moving.

Neither of the three spoke to the other, which was fine with Silver as he was so focused on not going. Silver was careful to try to match his father's speed. He was scared of what he might do to him if he did not follow him to a t.

"We're here," Silver whispered. He hated being the one to always break the silence. He turned around to look at Espio. The chameleon's eyes were doing circles with the way he was taking everything in.

'I wonder what that feeling is like. To take in everything as if you were seeing it for the very first time.'

"Do you remember this place?" Silver said a bit louder than before. Espio vision finally settled on him. He shook his head.

"For me, it is like looking at it for the very first time."

"I don't blame you for not recognizing it," a voice from behind bellowed. Silver sunk into himself a little bit as Shadow approached. He, too, was now standing in front of the house. His eyes made the same circles as Espio's did moments ago. "I don't. Not anymore. This is not the same home I created with her."

"With who?"

"With his mother," His father looked at the house a little longer. "Amy Rose."

Silver nearly gasped when he heard the name from his mouth. Shadow rarely addresses his mother by her full name. Not that he never mentioned her before this. Silver always heard 'your mother,' 'the love of my life,' 'Silver's mother.' She was always intertwined with one of them.

'When was the last time I heard him say her name? Has it really been that long?'

"Amy. Rose?" Espio looked at Silver. He stared at him like he was trying to complete a puzzle on his face, which was visible only to him. "Amy Rose." He repeated. "The pink hedgehog?"

"Yes, her, that name," Shadow tears his eyes away from the house to look at Espio. It was a dead-eyed stare. Silver almost felt a bit scared for Espio. The last time he saw that look on his father's face it didn't end well for the other party.

'It was the first time I saw him fight. That day in the anti-zone.'

"What do you know about that name?"

Espio didn't answer. His head dropped toward the ground and his eyes closed. Shadow kept staring at him with that look, his chest heaving more than before.

'He's trying to remember something. He feels like he should know, but he doesn't. I know what that's like.'

"Nothing," His eyes opened. He looked at Shadow and shook his head. "I don't know her from the past. But he mentioned that name to me. Even showed me a picture."

"I-I never showed him a picture?"

Shadow looked at  Espio, who was still looking confused as he stared between the two of them.

"Y-you didn't?" He whispered. "Did I..."

"Espio, you remembered!" Silver laughed out. "You do know her!"

"You both fought in the last battle in the war for the Quartz Emerald in the Seventh galaxy together. You both have so many memories together. I'm glad that she still lives through your memories," Shadow's voice was so low he almost didn't hear what he said. That was until he turned over to Silver. "What prompt you to ask him about your mother?"

Silver felt his face grow hot the longer his father stared at him. It might have been out of embarrassment. Truthfully, Silver was desperate to know anything he could about her. His aunt and uncles were gone. The only uncle he has around is Sonic. And the last time he mentioned her, he threw a glass of water at his face.

"I-I," Silver stumbled over all the thoughts in his head. They all screamed so loud. All longed to learn about her. "I wanted to see if he remembered her. I don't hear a lot about Mom from you."

"You never ask."

"You never seem in the mood to talk about her!"

"Silver," Shadow sighed out. He didn't sound angry. Not like before. Silver could tell his father was exhausted. A part of him felt guilty. The other part, however, felt like he wanted to push more.

"I'm just saying. You got to know her. We both lost her, but I only know of her through pictures on the wall. How is that fair?"

"Silver," He repeated, almost like a warning.

"What?"

"Get inside now."

Espio remained quiet as he followed Shadow up inside the house. Silver stayed outside, looking up at the house. He tsked, kicking the dirt underneath his foot so forcefully he thought it would get in his eyes.

There were so many emotions brewing up inside of his stomach. It wasn't like any post-mission nausea he had ever felt before.

'What did I even do? Why do I have to sit through another one of his lectures?'

"Silver! Get inside here, now!" Silver tensed up. He sighed, clenching his fists. He stomped up the two steps leading up to the front door. And closed it shut without even touching the knob. Shadow was standing at the kitchen table with his arms crossed and a fire in his eyes. "I'm going to get Espio situated. Do not move from this chair, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, I do," Silver mumbled out.

"I mean it, Silver. Do not get up." 

'Well, this is going to be a long night.'

Silver was so angry he wanted to kick the chair before him to pieces, but he knew that would only worsen his case. The emotions in his stomach kept getting stronger and stronger. He rested his arms over the area. It didn't feel like any stomachache he'd ever had.

'I swear, I'm going crazy,' Silver tapped his foot slowly against the floor, trying his best not to make too much noise or sound too annoyed. The last thing he wanted was to make the whole situation worse for himself. 

"Silver?"

Silver was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't even notice his father walk in.

"Yes?" He responded, trying to bite back his sour attitude as much as he could. Silver could see all over his father's face that he was doing a poor job at it.

"Son," Silver stared at his father as he sat in front of him. "Do you want to know why I am so upset?"

"Because I ran after Espio and parted ways upset with you?"

"That is one of the reasons," Shadow sighed out.

'What else could there be?'

"Moreso, I am upset you do not trust me."

"I do trust you." Silver retorted.

"Silver, I taught you better than to be dishonest with me. You do not trust me. If you trusted me, you would not have kept this from me."

"But-"

Shadow raised up his hand before Silver could give a reply. Silver jaw clenched.

"Truly, did you really think I am such a terrible father that I would risk the life of my only son to fix what happened?"

"I never said-!"

Shadow stood up from with such force the wooden chair he was sitting on flew back. The screeching and tumbling rattled the entire house and made Silver's breath hitch.

"I would do anything to trade places with you! I have risked everything and everyone to keep you safe! Yet still, I see the anger on your face whenever I have to hold my tongue so that the trials run their perfect course and we can give a chance at the future everyone deserves. Why, Silver?! Tell me why you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, father." That's all Silver could muster to say while his throat grew warm and scratchy. If he said another word, his words would break, and his eyes would pool over with tears. He didn't deserve to cry. Not there in front of his father who was pouring his heart out with dry eyes and his voice stable and clear. He could even muster a couple of words without becoming a pathetic mess.

"Do you think I get gratification from lying to my son? Believe me, I don't! It breaks my heart to have to keep things from you. It tears my soul in two to know that one day, I will stop waking up to your face. But..." Shadow sighed, shaking his head. "What must be done will be done. We'll be happy in our other life. But for now, please, my son. Don't waste these moments we have together being angry at me."

"I'm..." Silver couldn't hold it any longer. A tear strayed down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

Shadow looked behind him and dragged his chair back to be right in front of his son. He wiped the tears off of his son's warm face. Silver's lip quivered as Shadow looked at him with his tired eyes. Those same old, ruby eyes that have been him like this since he was a little boy.

"I accept your apology," Shadow said softly. He caressed Silver's cheek as he continued to wipe the tears from his face just like he used to when he was a boy. "You should have told me, Silver. I assumed my son would trust me enough to tell me his fears."

"I'm starting to realize I should have done a lot of things differently," Silver laughed softly, his face still warm and wet from crying. His father took his hand and instead rested his arm on the table. "I really am sorry, dad."

"Silver," Silver looked towards his father from across the table. "Do you remember what I told you when you were young?"

"I think so?" Silver crossed his arms and began to think. His father had told him a lot of stories, mostly about the past he had before meeting his mother and before the first time he met his uncle Sonic. "Is this about your time with the doctor and his granddaughter?"

"Yes," Shadow's voice grew dark, and his eyes began to glow red. Silver could tell his father was deathly angry. "I detested that man with every fiber of my body. I could never understand how heartache and the fear of losing someone could destroy a person," Shadow shook his head. "Even when I lost Maria, I was able to come back to my senses."

'He never really talks about her. From the databases, she died from a government-initiated raid.'

"That was not the case when I lost your mother,"

'Mom...'

"Only then did I understand the man I hated. I never thought it was possible to lose her. And when I did, I went mad with grief. Sick with rage. The time stone was something Dr. Robotnik would speak of, all to reverse what happened."

"It never was the stop of the war, was it?" Silver began to remember when his father would cry alone in his room. Although he would see his father be strong around him and even stronger on the battlefield, he could not imagine all the pain he was going through because of his mother's death. "It was to get her back."

"I knew it." Silver whispered. His father looked rather ashamed of himself at that moment. Silver held back a gulp, too afraid to make any noise.

"It was selfish, yes, but I could not forgive myself for what happened to her. The simple thought of you growing up without her broke me apart like nothing ever has," Shadow's eyes began to tear up. He clenched his fist, not wanting to cry. Silver stared at his father, riddled with shame. He tried to comfort him, but his guilt prevented him from offering him a comforting touch. "I went mad trying to find the stone. To prevent the death of your mother and those of my dear friends. I proposed the idea to Tails. He was the one who explained to me my plan could not come to fruition."

"Well, yeah. What would be the point of stopping Mom from getting killed if the war is what killed her."

Shadow nodded in agreement.

"As I told you before, we were unprepared. We were at peace. No one had even bothered to pick up a weapon after the first war ended. That was our downfall."

"No one could have known," Silver reassured. "No one could have blamed you guys for wanting to retire after fight 'the war of all wars'."

"What is funny is your mother was the one person who never stopped fighting."

"She didn't?"

"No, not ever. She would say her strength was a gift, and because of that, it was her calling to use that strength to help those who could not help themselves."

Silver adored the way his father talked about his mother. Though melancholy, a light sparked in his eyes and a permanent smile appeared on his face at the mere mention of her. In these moments, Silver can glimpse into the past and see what his father used to be before the scourge.

'She sounds awesome.'

"Your mother could solve anything she puts her mind to. She'll be able to fix this mess we're in. Whatever threat comes, she'll stop it. You have to let her know that."

"I know," Silver muttered. He has heard the same speech hundreds of times. It tears him up inside that he will only see what his mother is capable of in another life that isn't even his.

"Son?" Shadow sighed and placed his hand atop his son's. "I have been too hard on you. For that, I owe you an apology."

"It's okay, dad. You do what you have to do, right?" Silver whispered.

"I am changing your mission."

"Huh? To what?"

"You are to stay in the past and help them win. You can spend time with them, meet them, and get to know all the things words will not be able to justify."

"Wait, really?" Silver stood up in surprise. Shadow nodded as his eyes shut, lost in thought.

"I write a list of everything there is to know about them. I hope that will make you happy."

'Stay with Mom and her friends?'

"Really? You're not joking?"

"You should know that jokes aren't my strong point."

"Thank you!" Silver  grabbed his fathers hand and brough him into a hug. His father's surprise chuckle rang through both of their bodies. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Dad."

"Anything for you, son."

Shadow patted Silver's head before letting him go. Shadow stares into Silver's eyes for a moment.

"You look just like her," Shadow whispered. A small smile on his face. "I can't wait for you to meet her, son. She will love you."

"I hope so."

"She will. I know it." Shadow reaffirmed with confidence.

Silver smiled sheepishly, not knowing what else to say. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. The talk he had wanted with his father had finally been had, and now he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Let's hope we didn't disturb Espio too much. He is still getting used to his room."

"Oh, I almost forgot about him. How is he doing?"

"Adjusting would be the best word," Shadow sighed out. "We should let him rest; he traveled miles to get here."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"His body was dumped out in a landfill about three years ago. It was then I learned that he had lost most of his memories. His mind was gone, but the body doesn't easily forget. He knew how to claw his way out of a dangerous situation."

"But he remembers you now. What happened in between those three years?"

Shadow shook his head. "I wish I could answer that. I don't know why I am the only one he can recall. I wasn't even the one closest to him."

"Hm," Silver hummed. "Memories work in weird ways."

"You both have met before this."

"Huh?" Silver blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You were still small, barely able to make out a babble. He held you in his arms and nearly cried when he saw you open your eyes. He said you reminded him of your mother. Mighty was there two. He made you those wooden toys you loved so much as a child."

"What? He did?!"

"He did," Shadow nodded. "I wish you both could have remembered all that."

"So do I," Silver got up from his chair. His legs were wobbly from all the nerves, so he steadied himself on the top rail of the chair. "Do you know if Uncle Sonic knows about Espio?"

"Of course he does. They were close before the war."

'I wonder what he'll say about him?'

"Before you go on saying anything, I wouldn't bother bringing it up to him. You know how he can be."

'Of course, I know how he is. I have to bring him his food. Not that Dad doesn't talk to him. I can hear them fighting through the walls.'

"But while you're there," Shadow stands up from his place at the table and makes his way to the food safe. It's a basket of assorted foods from the rations station. "Take this to him."

"How did-?"

"You think I wouldn't know my own son?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Silver grabbed the basket, taking in the scent of semi-stale bread and metal cans that stunk of dirty copper. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. Again."

"You're okay, son. Remember how much I love you."

"Me too, Dad." 'I love you too.'

Silver took the basket off the table and walked to the door. He silently creaked it open and walked outside. The sight of a disheveled shed made him sigh.

Silver is usually the one to deliver him his dinner, but whenever he comes back from trial runs, it becomes harder to ignore his Uncle's annoyance with him as it becomes a fight of 'the trials are pointless' or 'how dare you leave your father in charge of my meals.'

'As if I have any control over what he and my father fight about when I'm not here.'

Silver knocked on the door first before pushing the heavy wooden door open. There was an audible groan coming from the shadowy lump curled on the bed. To Silver's surprise, the room smelled as if it had been freshly cleaned.

"You two will never let me starve to death, will you?"

Sonic was turned away from the door. All Silver could make out were faded, blue quills. Silver couldn't remember the last time he saw his uncle's face. It could have been months or even years. From all the years of Sonic yelling at him or giving him silent treatment, he has learned it is best not to visit his room often.

"Hey, Uncle Sonic. I'm sorry I haven't been around too much."

"Yes, I could tell. Look what your father came and did!"

'Cleaned?'

Silver heard him grunt from his bed. His body shook with the vibrations of his voice.

"I came to ask you something."

"Whatever it is, I don't know."

"It's about Espio."

There was a pause. Silver could not even hear his Uncle's breath. It was so deathly quiet.

"Espio?" He finally spoke. "What about Espio?"

"We found him. He's alive and staying with us."

"Oh? What, he wants to see me or something?" Sonic let out a low chuckle. Silver had never heard a laugh so devoid of emotion. "Tell him no thank you."

"No, he came looking for my father?"

"Shadow? Why would he want to look for Shadow? He despised the guy."

'Really? They seemed pretty friendly before. I wonder what changed.'

"He doesn't remember much, but he knows who my father is," "It got me thinking that, if he sees you, it might trigger some memories. It happened when he saw my father; maybe it can happen with you, too?"

"I don't think he'll want to see me like this," Sonic rolled over to look at Silver, who nearly gasped at looking at his face. The former hero's eyes were sunken deep in his skull, far deeper than his father's. He could see the thick outlines of battle scars that had begun to lose their pigment and texture. As Sonic frowned, Silver could see the wrinkles in the corner of his lips. Anyone could see that grief has aged him. "I wouldn't.''

"Please," Silver pleaded. "He needs to remember."

"Don't pull that with me, kid. It won't get you anywhere," His words were laced with a sadness the anger was trying to cover. Silver was sure his uncle had to know that he could look past it. Yet he still tries to keep up the facade. "Espio should be grateful he doesn't have to remember. Leave him like that, you'll do him a big favor."

"That's the thing. He wants his memories back," Sonic raised his brows, seemingly remembering the name. "I can't force you to see him, but at least tell me what you know about someone he's looking for?"

"Let me guess. This is about Mighty, isn't it?"

"How did you-?"

He's been trying to protect that guy for years, Of course he'd be looking for him," "Sonic tsked. "Just leave it be, kid, trust me."

"Please, I need to know everything you know about him."

"Ugh! Fine," Sonic hosted himself up and was now sitting upright. Silver stopped himself from gasping. It's been years since they had a conversation that warranted his Uncle to sit down like that. "but I'll only tell you this once so pay attention!"

'Woah, I didn't think it would be that easy!'

Silver looked to his wristlet and began to type something onto it. He looked up and waited for him to speak. His uncle looked back and rolled his eyes.

"He's an armadillo with black fur, a red shell-hair thing that goes down to his back, and black eyes. I met him way back before the four-year war. He used to be a part of a team with Charmy Bee, Vector the Crocodile, and Espio, which is probably why he's looking for him,"

'That's a bit of an over-explanation, at least I know what he looks like.'

"All I know about him is that he's a bit of a treehugger. He used to live up in the forest before this war, and the last time I knew anything about where he was, he was living up in Emerald Groves. When Espio was captured, he left everyone to look for someone named Ray. Probably a friend that Mighty hoped would help him get Espio back, but that isn't any of my business,"

'Ray? I've never heard of that name, not even from father. So who could that even be?'

"Look at a forest of something. Maybe he'll fall out of a tree."

"Thank you, Uncle Sonic. I'll bring it up with my father later."

"Whatever," Sonic grabbed a piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth while waving Silver to get out of his room. "Thanks for the food, kid."

"Anytime."

Silver rushed out of Sonic's room and made his way back into the house through the back door. His father was still sitting alone in the kitchen. A glass of fig wine sat in front of him. His attention drew towards Silver, who had a wide smile on his face.

"Dad! I know how to find Mighty."

"Shhh!" Shadow nearly lunged at him. "Someone is sleeping in here."

Silver tensed up and tried to keep his footsteps quiet as he approached his father. "Sorry!"

"What do you mean 'you know how to find him'?"

"Uncle Sonic told me."

"What did he tell you?" Shadow asked, confused.

"That he'll fall out of a tree!" The look of confusion only deepened. Silver smiled awkwardly, knowing how weird all of this must sound to him. "I know this all must sound weird, but I'm going to make this right. Dad, I'm going to get Mighty back."

"I lost track of him years back, but I know if anyone can find him, it's you," Silver stifled a chuckle as his father petted his head like he would always do when he was a child."Did you make him a promise or something?"

"No, but how else will I get the person who was able to one-up me so quickly to train me?"

"Always the clever one. You're her boy, alright."

'Mom...I can't wait to see you.'

[dzamie-oc]

Voretober 09 - Wheel

what the hell am I supposed to do with "wheel"

Length: 1600 words Vore type: Oral vore, unwilling prey, F/M Fandom: None Other info: snake/anthro, digestion as threat Summary: A fox on the run finds a fortuitous hiding spot, and the snake in it is very friendly! Surely nothing will go wrong.

David vaulted over a fallen log, then took a tight left around a boulder, using his fluffy to counterbalance, before using it to leap across a stream. His pursuer may have been faster than him, but he knew these woods like the back of his hand. Unfortunately, that didn't mean the fox could keep it up forever, or even lose his tracker; he'd have to settle on a hiding place, but all the trees took too long to climb, the bushes were too thin, and the stream was simply too slow. Running mostly on autopilot, his limbs carried him over and around what David hoped would be a tough route to follow, while he searched his memory and sight for a big enough tree or log hollow, a cave, anything.

A looming, black shape grabbed his attention; without a better plan, David swung his arm around a thin tree and beelined for… a huge tire, laying across one of the forest's tourism nature trails. The fox inwardly grimaced at the sign of heavy industrial equipment, but decided it was ultimately a boon: worrying about future development would have to wait for him to know that his future would even exist. After one last peek over his shoulder, checking if his pursuer, and thus he, could be easily seen, David dove into the middle of the tire and shimmied into its cavity. Opaque, relatively small, and granting him shadow to hide in, a fantastic stroke of luck.

"Gah! Woah, where'd you come from?" At the new voice, David's heart thundered. Luckily, he didn't recognize it, so he at least knew who it wasn't.

Still, the fox looked around for the source, hesitant to speak up, just in case. On the slightly sunnier side of the tire, he caught the shimmer of mottled, brown scales, and as his eyes adjusted to the shade, he saw more and more of the stranger. A long snake coiled over and around herself, only barely encircled by the massive tire, with her head resting about a third of the way around from him. Scales slid against scales as she drew closer, keen curiosity in her bright yellow eyes.

This time, it was intimidation, not fear of discovery, that stayed David's tongue, so the snake flickered hers and tried again. "Not that I mind company, but I was in the middle of a nap…" she said, then turned her head to yawn; Her lower jaw wiggled back and forth before returning to normal at the end. "…hello? Foxy?"

Realizing that she expected him to speak, David finally found his voice. "I… I'm hiding from someone. I don't know for certain what will happen, but I really, really don't want to be caught." A thought struck him, and he consulted his mental map of the forest. "Has this tire been here long? I don't remember it when I passed by a few days ago."

"Oh, it's mine. A portable hide, and one not out of place nearly anywhere!" The snake tapped her head affectionately against the inner rubber. "It took a bit to learn how to roll in it, but well worth it!"

The fox sighed, relieved. "So there aren't plans to destroy this forest. Good."

"Nope, just a wandering snake. Fiona, by the way, amateur story collector."

"Huh?"

"My name. Since I figure we'll be close for a bit," Fiona replied.

"Right, sorry. I'm David… just a fox." Something piqued his curiosity. "What do you mean, story collector?"

Fiona's eyes gleamed. "I'm glad you asked! After all, it's the reason I'm even in this thing! Lay back, let me elucidate." David did so, shimmying back against several lengths of her scaly body. His paws found a convenient gap to tuck into, and then the snake continued:

"Nearly since I hatched, I loved hearing about stuff other people did - incredible sights my siblings saw, improbable battles, tales of creatures I never even thought could exist! I did what I could to remember them and retell them for my younger siblings, or those who simply weren't there to hear at the time."

A comforting pressure crept up David's ankles. "That… if you don't mind me saying, that sounds pretty normal so far."

"It was! But eventually, I realized that different creatures and people have different life stories to tell, and I'd get comparatively nowhere just by staying around where I grew up." Fiona's head drifted from one side of the tire to the other, and David's gaze followed.

"So you decided to travel and found the tire?"

The snake laughed. "Oh, no, this was only a few months ago. I started by just slithering around." As though demonstrating, her entire body shifted and undulated against itself, covering more of David's body; he thought perhaps he ought to be concerned, but he wanted to hear Fiona tell her story. "But I did decide to travel! Forests, villages, a couple streams, so many different people with so many life stories to tell. A recent favorite of mine is a bunny girl whose life story was the time she scammed a human out of two entire caskets of wi- oop, shush!"

With a blur of movement, Fiona's coils covered David completely; he was about to shout and try to free himself when, instead, he heard very familiar footsteps. Hidden so completely by the snake's body, it was only his ears that truly picked up the person he was trying so hard to avoid. Raggedy breathing, the slam of paws on rubber, and a low growl; the fox could only pray that Fiona was the only one visible. After far too much time to be comfortable, the breathing grew quieter, as did angry, heavy footsteps.

Finally, a few lengths of her scaly body parted, letting him see again. In front of him was a smiling snake, yellow eyes bright and mirthful, clearly trying her best not to laugh. Looking at her, he found it tempting to join in - but wouldn't dare having just escaped disaster. Once again, Fiona was the first to speak, in a hissing whisper, "his entire head was bright pink!"

David grinned back and nodded. "Yeah, we're not exactly friends. Now, I wouldn't kill him, but I don't know if he'd extend the same courtesy."

"Clearly. Oh, speaking of which, would you like to know why I said the bunny thing was her life story, even though it was just a day? I've got two reasons."

The fox hummed. "Is one of them philosophical, like it's a representation of their personality in just one story?"

Fiona giggled, bringing a smile to David's muzzle. "Kind of! It's more that they're all unique, at least in how they're told if not what actually happens in there. Like lives! I like your idea, though."

In spite of himself, David felt himself blush at the compliment; he told himself it was just because he was laying down that his face grew so easily hot. "Thanks, Fiona. You said two, though? What's the second?"

"I'm glad you asked!"

The serpentine smile before him vanished, instead transforming into a wide, fleshy maw, glistening with drool. David tried to pull back, but of course, her body was all around him, and there was nothing he could do as pink filled his vision, then black, as she swallowed his muzzle and head in just a few gulps. The fox tried his best to push her off, but not only did her scaly body keep his from moving too much, it even tightened when he struggled! With her throat holding his mouth closed, the closest he could manage to a cry for help was a frantic moan, one muffled by her jaws and the tire. Of course, even without it, the two of them had put so much effort into being unheard that David was certain nobody around would have been able to hear him, anyway.

Around his shoulders, the heat and wetness of Fiona's mouth replaced her cooler, dry scales. When David focused - and he tried not to - he felt her throat expand and contract, allowing her to work her way down his body. His chest and midsection were next to go, leaving his arms pinned only by her gullet, rather than her coils, not that that was any help, as a few futile struggles soon proved. As she approached his waist, part of the fox was still in denial: surely she was far too thin a snake to fit him? Clearly, Fiona would have to give up eventually. But as a discomforting dampness and pressure slipped over his hips and down his thighs, that fantasy grew weaker and weaker.

With her maw at his knees, David found the pressure around his head lessen. The air grew more acrid, but her body wasn't as tight so deep. He tried shouting for help, just in case, right before her mouth closed after his paws, sealing his doom. From there, he could do little more than wait while her body squeezed the rest of his into her stomach. The fox's eyes stung, but no tears came. And then, with her throat clear once more, the snake addressed him once more.

"You're handling this well. Anyway, more practically, I call them life stories because they're given in exchange for life!" The pep in Fiona's voice carried a far more menacing quality from the inside of her stomach, David found. "So, mister "just a fox," unless you want to take care of my lunches for the next couple weeks, I can't wait to hear yours!"

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Mundane

Oh here we fuckin go. I'm not sure whether I'll make a continuation to this. I lost motivation for the rest of it, even though I have a goal for it. So maybe. Maybe not.

CW: Canon divergence, cursing, Asher trying to be a wingman, Angel is underprepared, David is just trying to follow the rules.

Redacted Masterlist

Summary: Mundane was not what they were looking for, and maybe they weren't as stuck with it as they thought they were

Angel, in all honesty, never planned ahead by more than a few days. Outside of a professional capacity of course. They wouldn't be able to keep their job if they were irresponsible. But after they came home, they never had a plan for what they would do for the rest of the day, what they would eat for dinner, when they would go to sleep, ect. Weekends were purely for fucking up any sense of routine they had put together.

Which was how they liked it. Work had routines and those routines practically smothered them. Any time they needed to go on work trips, they were absolutely miserable for every single second of it.

"Michael, I'm home!" Angel called out, setting their bag and keys down on the entrance to the apartment they shared with their boyfriend. Their cat quickly came over, winding between their feet and purring loud enough that Angel was sure the neighbors could hear through the door. Not that it was much of a feat, that door was frustratingly thin. Noise complaints were a constant and consistently ignored by the landlord.

"Welcome back!" Michael called from another room. Angel squatted down and picked up the cat, holding her to their chest as they ventured deeper into the shared home. They had been living with Michael for almost half a year now, dating him for four months prior to that. They were steadily approaching the one year anniversary. Angel tried to ignore how they didn't feel anything towards that milestone.

"Hey." They said upon finding their boyfriend sitting on the couch, gaze lazily watching the show playing on the TV in front of him. He waved a hand to them in response to their greeting. Conversations were steadily losing their momentum with him. "... How was your day, babe?" They asked, fingers still gently scratching the old feline's neck.

"It was fine. Boring mostly." He answered and glanced towards them. "What do you want for dinner?" Mundane. That was a good way of describing how their relationship felt sometimes. To be fair to Michael, it didn't always feel mundane. Sometimes there was soft domesticity. Or heated passion on the nights they indulged in each other's bodies. But mundane was better than toxic or violent, so Angel would take it.

"Dunno. I'm gonna go change." They answered and placed the cat down. She quickly jumped up to lay on Michael's chest and Angel left the room to the sound of purring and the TV.

Mundane was good. Mundane was fine. Mundane was healthy. Mundane was comfortable. Mundane was... boring. They shouldn't find their relationship boring. They sighed and pulled out a sweater and pajama pants.

ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Angel stared down at the dead battery screen on their phone, hopping from foot to foot as they waited for Michael to arrive. Their car had a flat tire and since Murphy's Law loved to apply at the most inconvenient of times - yes they know that's the point, let them be upset - Angel didn't have a spare tire. They barely had enough battery to let Michael know what happened before their phone decided to be a weak little bitch and die on them.

"Oh come on." They muttered and tried to rub away the goosebumps. It wasn't too cold considering the typical weather, but the sun setting meant some of the warm sun rays were fading with it and late fall wasn't kind to those left behind in the shadows.

"Hey, you good?" A voice called out and Angel looked up. A truck had stopped and the person in the passenger seat was leaning halfway out the window, eyes glued to them. They hesitated before shaking their head.

"Not really. I got a flat and no spare." They called back. The guy clicked his tongue and sat back into the truck. Angel couldn't hear what was said between him and the driver, but the truck pulled closer and he ended hopping out of the truck. They took a quick inventory of him. He was pretty good looking, if not quite their type. He seemed more... golden retriever. Matched their own energy though, when they weren't pissed and getting cold.

He squatted down to examine the flattened tire, reaching out to poke it.

"Holy hell. This shit is flatter than the bell curve of my grades." He said and Angel snorted. The driver inside the truck groaned and climbed out. Angel's heart stuttered when he rounded the dark vehicle and put his hands in his pockets.

"He's right. Even if you tried driving home, you would only damage your rims." He muttered. Pierce their heart with a nail gun, his voice sent a shiver down their spine. Black cat personality type for sure.

"Hey David, do you have a spare in the back?" The first guy asked. Angel's eyes hadn't left from staring at David. He seemed focused on his friend and the flat tire though. Unfortunately, but for the better.

"Usually yes. But Amanda needed a tire change and I haven't had the chance to replace it yet." He answered. Angel sighed, momentarily distracted as their disappointment sank in again.

"My boyfriend should be coming any minute." They mumbled, partially to remind themselves and partially to assuage any feeling of obligation these two might have gathered. The first guy straightened up, tilting his head. Definitely like a puppy.

"How far out is he? I'd feel bad if you were just standing out here by yourself." David groaned at his friend's words but didn't move. It seemed like he was used to this. Whatever this was.

"I'm... not sure. I texted him just before my phone died. I don't... really know if he saw my text." They admitted, that nagging worry finally being pushed into words. They hadn't seen the read tag switch on before the device perished. The friendlier of the two held out his own phone.

"You can call him if you want and check." He offered. David glanced at the other, but stayed silent. Brooding. Kind of like batman. Angel grinned at him and took the phone.

"Thanks..." Their voice trailed off, quietly searching for a name.

"I'm Asher. That's David." Asher said, pointing to himself and then to his extremely attractive companion. Angel nodded and introduced themselves in turn before taking a couple steps away to dial Michael's number.

ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

"It doesn't matter what Christian said, it's not his choice." David said as he continued driving down the road, Asher sighing next to him. The latest pack meeting was bumpy - as usual. Everyone was still trying to adjust to the sudden change in authority. They had all been expecting it, just not so soon. Although apparently Christian hadn't been expecting Asher to become David's beta. Which was a load of bullshit, but he kept that to himself.

"I know. It's just that... wait... David stop driving." Asher said, quickly jumping ship of the topic. David's brow furrowed in confusion, but complied with his best friend's request, pressing the truck into a stop. Asher quickly rolled the window down and leaned out of the truck. He almost reached out to yank the other shifter back in before he toppled his ass out the fucking window.

"Hey you good?" Asher called out. David sighed, but stayed quiet. A couple seconds pause before a voice returned an answer to his friend's question.

"Not really. I got a flat and no spare." A rush of sympathy flashed through him. It was always an annoyance to have to deal with something like that. God knows he had his own fair share of getting flat tires with all the back alley paths Asher had David dragging his truck through. Asher sat back into his seat and looked to David, face already pressed into a pleading expression.

"Can we help them, David? A way to make the day better and shit?" He asked. David sighed and took his foot off the break, and moved closer to the pour soul with the bad luck. Asher jumped out of the truck before David set it into park. Asher's next words had him climbing out of the truck, bumping the door closed with his elbow.

"Holy hell. This shit is flatter than the bell curve of my grades." Asher was trying to cheer them up. Which was good of him, but David doubted it would lead to a permanent effect. He rounded the corner, examining the tire to give a genuine assessment of the damage.

"He's right. If you tried driving home, you would only damage your rims." He ignored the quiet gasp that the stranger inhaled. Believe it or not, he was aware that he gave off an intimidating appearance, even if you didn't know who he was within empowered society. He was used to reactions in his presence. But he could already feel Asher's amused gaze on him.

But this stranger was wholly unempowered and that meant chances were they were also uninformed. Which only added pressure to exercise caution. Asher and him should leave before they - or more accurately, Asher - let something slip that made it a breach of covert. Better safe than sorry.

"Hey David, do you have a spare in the back?" Asher asked, smirking at him. David glared at the beta, who knew damn well that he didn't.

"Usually yes. But Amanda needed a tire change and I haven't had the chance to replace it yet." He answered through gritted teeth. He could practically hear the snicker that wanted to leave the other.

"My boyfriend should be coming any minute." The stranger said and David finally looked at them. They looked kind of pitiful, clutching onto their phone and the sleeves of their sweater. He pressed his lips together.

"How far out is he? I'd feel bad if you were just standing out here by yourself." David couldn't stop the groan at Asher's words. A silent invitation to wait with them. And additional chances to risk covert breach chances. They needed to go.

"I'm... not sure. I texted him just before my phone died. I don't... really know if he saw my text." They answered, waving their phone gently as if trying to prove it. David was about to reach into his pocket to offer his own phone before Asher quickly held out his. Probably for the best. David didn't want random numbers in his phone. Nor did he want complete strangers having his number.

"You can call him if you want and check." Asher said. David sent a grateful glance towards his friend. While a part of him wished that the beta was more careful with what information was thrown about. he was glad that the other understood David's own paranoia and caution.

"Thanks..."

"I'm Asher. That's David." Yeah. Asher really needed to be more careful with what information. At this point the stranger now had his phone, his name, and giving his number to their boyfriend by call history. That was all the information you really needed about someone to go through some online research and find out addresses, employment - even though Shaw Security was a private company, it was still registered with the unempowered government as a business for tax reasons - and other private information. David kept the lecture on his tongue and simply offered a nod of greeting to them. He watched as they stepped away to call their boyfriend and looked at Asher.

"We can't stay." He muttered, keeping his voice low. Asher waved a hand as he leaned against David's truck.

"Don't worry so much. Nothing is gonna happen." He answered and gestured towards them. "Besides, they need help. And they're cute." Asher said with a shrug. Then he smirked at David. "They're your type right?"

"They have a boyfriend so whether or not they're attractive is irrelevant to me." David retorted. The harsh sigh that came from them - they introduced themselves as Angel - had David glancing over.

"Please, Michael? It's getting late and I just want to go home." Angel said. Asher sent a worried glance at David, who returned the sentiment but both shifters stayed quiet. They weren't eavesdropping, but David wanted to make sure everything was fine before he packed Asher back into the truck and continued driving. Angel sighed again. "Yeah okay. I'll just call a cab or something and see if I can get it towed. See ya." They muttered before returning to the two and handing the phone back to Asher.

ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Schedules were well and truly annoying. Or timing was anyways. Michael was in the middle of a meeting and couldn't come get them. Which meant they were going to need to find where the hell they could catch a cab nowadays.

"Is everything alright?" Asher asked, tucking the phone back into his pocket. Both men looked worried and Angel felt a stab of guilt at making complete strangers feel that way.

"Yeah. He's just busy right now, so he can't come get me. Do either of you know where I can find a cab?" They asked, feeling sheepish at continuing to bother them. Asher glanced at David, silently asking and the other sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"If... fucking hell, if you need a ride, I can give you one. If you decide you trust us anyways. It'll be easier than trying to find where you can flag a cab down and cheaper." David said. Angel paused.

On one hand, these two seemed friendly and nice. On the other hand, serial killers were usually the charismatic ones. At least if they died, it would be a nice view though. And warm inside the truck.

"Yes please." Angel said, putting their phone in their pocket. David seemed startled at the speed of their decision while Asher grinned.

"You can have shotgun. I don't mind hanging out in the back." Asher chirped, opening the shotgun door for Angel before getting into the backseat. David glared at Asher before looking to Angel.

"You got everything?" He said, sounding more unsure than Angel had heard him so far. They nodded and he sighed before going towards the other side. "You trust people too easily, the both of you." He said, muttering as he went.

Angel climbed into shotgun, closing the door behind them and putting in their seatbelt. They weren't sure why Asher laughed or David told him to shut up afterwards. It seemed random, but the two men were obviously close friends. Interactions between close friends were usually random to an outside observer. As David started the truck, Asher leaned closer to the center console.

"So where do you live, Angel?" He asked. David glanced at Angel.

"Don't tell us the specific address. That's not safe, considering you don't know us." He warned. Angel shrugged.

"It's an apartment complex, so if you figured out my exact unit I'd be hella surprised." They said before giving the address. They watched as David entered it into the GPS on his phone, but their attention was quickly pulled away by Asher again.

"Any clue why your tire went flat? Like was there a nail or something you ran over?" He asked, curiosity heavy in his tone. Angel didn't blame him for the interest. But they only had boring answers.

"Dunno. Just went flat at some point between home and work. Although it would make for a much cooler story if there was some plot to keep me in one place for a murder so a villain planted spikes or something." Angel said with a laugh. David frowned.

"You mean unsafe." He corrected. Angel bit back the first response that jumped to their tongue.

"Yeah. But it'd be more interesting than just a random flat, wouldn't it be?" Asher agreed, which had Angel sending a victorious grin at David. He merely rolled his eyes and Angel practically swooned at the look he gave them after.

"Do you like dogs?" Asher asked next. Before Angel could respond, David's grip on the wheel tightened.

"Asher. Stop pushing it." He growled out. Confusion clouded their veins at Asher's laugh. These two were weird. Exciting. Definitely not mundane.

[lostinthewoods1991]

On the Birth and Death of Selves

It was my birthday yesterday. Over time, birthday is a day I've come to dread. New year is the same too. Birthday is one of those days that reminds me of all the ways in which I look like a failure to others. As a child, I was an overachiever. Not because I fancied being that but because I somehow ended up being so. I was someone who was unanimously considered talented. However, even as a child, I never understood what the hype was all about. I was treated like I was a potential celebrity in the making. I started singing professionally when I was a six-year-old, clueless kid. I was called to give interviews on TV shows, I was part of big stage shows, I always had recordings coming up and I was even invited as a chief guest to functions! It's all common these days but wasn't, back then. Atleast not as much as it is today, not in the field of singing. I remember wondering what was wrong with everyone and I swear I'm not humblebragging. It was too much for me to wrap my head around. Maybe there are children who find it easy and good. I wasn't one of them. I grew up hearing I'm a prodigy and that I was supposed to make it big in life. Very big. How was it possible for a child who was so immensely loved and appreciated to feel so intensely lonely? I don't think anybody understood that.

My outer self and inner self were always so far away from each other. Over time, the gap only widened. There's an abyss in between. The bridge that runs over the abyss is now old, shaky and crumbling in places. I don't even know if anybody can truly cross over. There are constant reminders and lamentations that I am put through. "Evide ethanda kutti aayirunnu" is the most tiring one among them. Some people say it's a case of evil eye. Some say it's because I lack God's grace. Some say it's just that I'm lazy. What nobody understands is how burned out I was, by the time I was a teenager. I wanted to have nothing to do with singing. Around that time, my vocal chords suffered from something like a minor damage and I seized the opportunity to bail out of all the occasions where I was expected to sing. That was how desperate I was for an escape.

You know the thing about being considered talented? About being praised all the time? You lose your right to make mistakes. To be anything less than the best. To have a choice of not participating in the race. You lose all these rights. I did. I was a painfully shy, quiet child who just wanted people to let me be. That's all I ever wanted. I grew tired of praise. My identity was brought down to my talent. I hated singing but people made me feel I didn't have the right to hate it. I was told I was being ungrateful. I was told I owed my singing to others. I hated being on stage. I hated being pushed. Most of all, I hated that I didn't seem to have the space to explore any other aspect of who I was or who I wanted to be. I only wanted to be understood as a human being. It was such a basic need of mine that went unmet.

Today, as an adult, I know I'm still that child seeking understanding from the world. I believe that was the drive behind my need to put out my thoughts and feelings. There was so much of me that was buried under others' expectations of who I should be. I believe I reached a point in life where atleast I had to understand myself, if nobody else could. In my attempts to do so, I might have come across as self-obsessed, I know. A psychiatrist I once met told me I am emotionally complex. It's better to make peace with the fact that you will probably never be understood the way you want to be, instead of seeking it everywhere, she said. I never went back to her, though I know she must have had a point.

I have almost completely stopped singing. I lost my ability to sing without feeling the presence of an audience expecting the best out of me. Writing is mostly the only way of self-expression I have now. There's a reason behind my insistence that I should be the ultimate judge of my writing. It's a sense of control that I did not have as a child. I need validation but I also need control. Today, I'm a disappointment to many people who knew me from childhood. They look at me like how they'd look at a tragic heroine from a Shakesperean play. It's all so dramatic. "Ammu, why are you destroying yourself?" - I heard this today too. How do I tell people that I am not trying to destroy myself but I am, in reality, trying to reclaim myself? Is there anybody here who believes me when I say that? Because I wanted to please others and be fair to myself too at the same time, I have found myself existing on the bridge all my life. It's a nearly collapsing bridge and I have many times fallen through, into the abyss. None of these people will understand my struggle because they don't know me. Even if I lay my heart bare before them, they will see only what they want to see, obviously.

Despite all this, I live with something in my mind that says I haven't lost at life. Who decides what's loss and victory anyway? I have disappointed myself plenty of times. I still do. But not in ways that others think. And I am winning at life, but in ways that might be invisible to others. What hasn't changed is the fact that I was invisible, I'm still invisible and I'll probably always be invisible. But, I'm trying my best to be a better person. I guess that will count, for now. :)

[mryddinwilt]

Sanditon thoughts

Why yes I did binge Sanditon and have *opinions* Everything under a cut so nobody gets spoiled. Since I'm going to mostly be talking about the last episode... you have been warned.

I should say first off that I really enjoyed the majority of the season. The tension. The hand touches. The declarations. The theme of women taking control of their lives. It was all fantastic. All the feels.

That's why the last episode was such a massive disappointment. The miscommunication trope is a staple of the romance genre but it's a staple that is losing favor. For good reason! Too often it is thinly supported and makes little sense. Unfortunately, Sanditon's last episode is a textbook example of this.

Charlotte merely hearing that Alexander might be engaged was not enough motivation for her to just throw her hands up and be all "I guess I'm going to Ireland!" In fact, I think such a choice is contrary to the entire theme of the season. Charlotte is meant to be independent and strong but she can't go and investigate the rumor? She can't ask a single person if it is true?? She can't tell the guy how she feels? She was so mad at him for not speaking sooner and then she does the same? It makes no sense. It's anti-character growth.

Putting aside her not investigating. Let's assume it is true. Alexander Coulborne is engaged. Does that mean they can't be together? Nope! Even taking into account the whole stigma of ending an engagement in the Regency it makes no sense.

First, the engagement is a secret. The woman would suffer no ill effects from a broken engagement. (Not that the show seemed to be even taking that into account but still).

Second, the show spent a lot of time pushing home the point that Coulbourne disagrees with the idea of marriage without love. He wanted her to discard Ralph. Why would she think he would choose differently with the roles reversed?

Third, not giving Alexander the choice is disrespectful. Charlotte knows he loves her. NOT telling him that she is available robs Alexander of the chance to make his own decision about his future.

Fourth, the choice to have Charlotte just give up is the opposite of the theme of the season. The entire season was about women taking control of their lives and not letting the men dictate what they should do. Charlotte being active in pursuing Alexander would have fit better than her giving up.

The miscommunication route was lazy and unnecessary. It was a sad way to end an otherwise very enjoyable season.

I mean imagine that they hadn't fallen onto that tired old trope.

Instead, we could have had an awesome conversation that mirrored Alexander's and their first meeting. Just imagine...

Charlotte goes to the house, enters the study, and he looks up from his writing. She is just as awkward as the first time.

She confesses that she has come with no expectations but rather she must tell him that her circumstances have changed. He swallows, and sits up straighter.

She tells him that she could not marry Ralph when she loved another. When she loved him. He rises, eager to embrace her but she puts up a hand. Continues to tell him that she respects that he moved on, that he could not wait for her, and that she would never want to ruin another woman's happiness. She flees from the room. He follows.

Catching her in front of the house, he tells her there is nothing to ruin. He is free to marry where he wishes. KISS!

And then instead of a quick flash of scenes, we get to actually enjoy a bit of wedding planning. Maybe a small argument. Maybe they talk about the school plans. WHATEVER.

The point is that I did not need the manufactured drama.

I did need Charlotte to actually articulate her feelings for Alexander. I did need to see them announcing their marriage to Leo. I did need hints that this relationship was going to go the distance because it was based on open communication.

Anyway. That's it. I just had to share that.

[apostatehamster]

Cool, cool, cool. Thoughts? Ramblings? Some kind of personal summary??? about the first three eps under the cut.

OK first of all I was fucking stupid because I accidentally watched the third ep first, and i was confused why so much. had changed but WHATEVER LMAO

I couldn't tell you which episode destroyed me more, jesus christ, what a comedy am I right? OK WELL, I'm Izzypilled so I will be mostly screaming about Izzy, and EdIzzy because I am broken but whatever. I will probably also a bit snarky, but eh, this is my blog lol.

OK SO episode 1 opener. We see Stede and Iz fencing, and I am lowkey sad that this scene from the trailer is not them training fencing. (Yet. Who knows) No, it's a dream sequence of Stede, where he stabs Izzy for selling them out and kills him. And as soon as Izzy is dead, Edward comes running toward him, all smiles, everything forgiven and they roll around in the sand. And I FEEL like this scene is a bit of a... nod at some haters lol.

Kind of like saying, "So you believe Izzy is the evil, and once Evil is defeated, Ed and Stede can be reunited and in love again, and everything's fine" But it's a dream, and life is not so easy, and it /won't/ be so easy, but more on that later.

I fucking loved the part where Stede & the crew hung around Spanish jackie's Inn. Honestly, that was probably the most light hearted and fun part of all the episodes-

"Dear Ed [...] I think of you often. I hope you're thinking of me." [Scene pans to Ed's giant back tattoo "Trust no one"] Christ. q.q Well he's thinking of Stede I guess, but I don't think that's what Stede means or wants. I love these cut backs between Stede view and Ed view. The more easy going stuff with Stede, and the true pirate life with ed in all it's glory [apparently].

Except the crew is fucking tired. They are surviving, but that's it. I've never seen a crew so sad eating fucking CAKE. [And I am so upset that Ivan just. Died. The boys, divided. Just Fang left] But heck I love their new outfits, they're cool and I love the raid make up ksksk

OK SO, we get to the Izzy crying scene that was spoilered. I knew that scene from the bakc of my hand. I did not know that Izzy looked so dejected because Edward basically told him to work harder or he would be replaced. Decades of loyalty, and your captain offhandedly mentions how replaceable you are. Ouch! The first of many ouches! Okay so tears are shed, the little man gets hugged, and god bless Fang, I love you, light of my life in this dark opening

Meanwhile Stede meets a minor prince, and the swede becomes the 20th husband of Jackie. Good for them!

Okay back to our toxic duo. Izzy tells Ed about how the crew does not want to obey, and Ed casually mentions that Izzy is gonna lose his 4th toe now. And from the leaked clip I expected that Izzy probably lost those toes because he took one for the crew, because the crew did not obey and ed took it out on him. (Izzy did react unreasonably upset when they refused to follow the orders, so.)

Then Izzy asks dejectedly "Who am I to you?" and I had to pause because i was too scared to hear Ed's answer, ngl.

"You know me better than anyone has ever known me, and I daresay the same is true for me about you." Is a killer statement already, but then: "I have-" and a pause. Because this is a heavy admission for him. "love for you, Edward." (Not "Blackbeard", but "Edward".) and Ed basically scoffs at him in disbelief, like not even a rejection but I can't say if that makes it better or worse, it's just bad. And then Izzy mentions the mood on the ship is bad and he suggests to talk it through, suggests as Stede would have, and it's so Stede it sets Ed off.

And there is a round of pointing the gun at every crew member, until Ed points it at his own chin (Christ, ed, your suicidal ideation) and Izzy finally explodes and calls for an end to this, and says out loud what everyone is too afraid to say. That the atmosphere is fucked because of Edward's feelings for Stede. And he has barely ended the sentence and Ed fuckign shoots him, and he doesn't even fucking look at him while doing so. Announces Frenchie is the new first mate, replaces Izzy like he was nothing. And if you thought i was already feeling bad for Izzy in season 1, because he was trailing after Ed like a loyal dog, ignored, forgotten and cast aside, IMAGINE HOW BROKEN I WAS HERE. Fucking shot him down, like a pet dog, and walked away.

Cut back to Stede crew shenanigans but at that point im already inconsolable. Minor prince loses his nose. We will see him again. That guy will be trouble, maybe he will be Stede's new nemesis, who knows. Wede leaves the crew, I hope we will meet him again. I'm sure we will visit jackie again, so.

Fang my sweet guy, crying because Ed shot Izzy. But Jim telling the story of pinocchio, doing The Voice, to cheer him up, was so fucking cute....

But anyway I'm glad we had the trailers and stuff and that the episodes came in a batch, because, Izzy was pretty much absent for the rest of the ep and presumed dead. NAH, MAN

ANYWAY EPISODE 2

Stede thinking fondly of Ed and sighing deeply. me too Stede. Meanwhile Ed and the wedding cake toppers, pushing them together. My dude, you got it bad, jesus.

I love Zheng and her crew of pirate ladies lmao. ""Ah men, so emotional, smh""The sea's restorative, isn't it?" "YES QUEEN! I always said that" Buttons fucking saved my soul from utter despair, because i fucking broke out laughing at that. YAS QUEEN, SLAY.

And hey!! LUCIUS LIVES!! I wish I could say I was surprised, but honestly, they would have been a fool to kill him off, of COURSE he had to return. And fuck he looks good, fucking love him. Pete immediately rushing to kiss him T_T the rest of the crew running to hug him too, these precious guys.....

I'm here for Seawitch Buttons & Auntie mysticism.

Okay, back to Ed. He had a good cry, he pushed off the cake topper of Stede and him. "No more booze, no more drugs. And more importantly, no more Izzy." Like Izzy was the bane of his existence. You could argue about how much Izzy fucked up, but that's just, fucking not okay in my books. Ed asking his new First Mate Frenchie "You did kill Izzy right?" like he wants his old friend dead so bad.

Alright, but Izzy is still alive, sorry Edward. And also sorry Izzy because wowe that's miserable. Leg's rotting, he is stashed away in a secret chamber, and Archie & Jim are gonna take his leg off with no anesthesia or painkiller what so ever. LOOK I'm a whore for whump and all, but that's fucking hardcore lol. But hey. Jim and Archie holding hands on izzy's rotting leg. Then the two later kissing in front of an unconscious Izzy, amputated leg in one hand. Romantic! Also fucking morbid but I loved it lmaooo. But damn the humor is dark this season.

I fucking love Lucius so much. He waltzes into the room where Stede is trying to figure out how best to find Ed, upset because Edward looks like a ghoul on the wanted poster. "Are you even gonna ask how I am?" and that's such a loaded question and I love him for it. Stede is so preoccupied with thinking about Ed, he didn't even care to ask about his former Scribe. Lucious flips him the bird and I can't help but think Izzy would have been proud. Fuck I really want Lucius and Izzy to bond this season, please. The new Lucius and the new Izzy could be a really interesting combo.

He finally tells Stede that Ed tried to kill him, where he faltered to tell Stede before. "You broke him, and he broke me. Everything that's happened to me since has been your fault!" and it's so harsh because it comes from Lucius, sweet Lucius, and it's I think also the first time someone outright hated at Stede (not counting Izzy here, because. He's Izzy)

Back to Ed! Frenchie is so jumpy, and bless his soul, I don't know how he manages to stay so smiley throughout all this. But yeah, Ed finds out Izzy is alive! Or as he puts it "Do you think I wouldn't know the smell of my rotting former first mate?" which, what an odd thing to say ed wth lol

Archie asking Jim why they care so much about Izzy anyway, because he seems like a dick. "Ah he is. But he's our dick." and i kid you not, thats among all the things i ever wanted. The crew accepting grumbly Izzy as he is, because he might be a jerk, but he is THEIR jerk. And I love the possesiveness. Then a romantic kiss with the amputated leg in hand lol. Enter Ed who sends them out, and i had to ugly laugh at how he said "Take the fucking leeeeg." jkdghjk And I fucking love Jim, for staring Ed dead in the eye "He was your friend."

Stede crew time! Oh Olu trying his best, but not really succeeding. Mate, you're gonna be fine, you just nee d abit more trainign and self confidence.

Lucius smoking and being all bitter does something to. i swear he turned into an Izzy. Considering how the fandom calls Izzy rat man (lovingly ornot), and Lucius nickname is now rat boy.. he is like... the successor to izzy in my books lol. I REALLY want them to hang out and talk. So badly.

Back to Ed! This scene will fucking break me, but at the time of watchign I did not know yet. Also the scene why I started writinga whole fucking novel, i guess. Anyway! He sits next to Izzy, who's pretty much incapacitated and helpless.

"I just popped down to say a proper goodbye.", and Ed gets out a gun, implying he wants to finish the job and kill Izzy, and Izzy basically... does not react to that. Just looks at him in silence, acceptance maybe. "I had a dream about you last night." And Ed turns the gun around and hands it to Izzy and that is where he starts reacting, tells Ed to fuck off, because he will not do this. But Ed puts it in his hand and carries on. "I dreamt that ya killed me. Shot me right through the skull." and he positions the gun in Izzy's hand against his own head (do I need to talk about Ed's deathwish again? I think not) basically makes it easy for Izzy to not miss, gives him to change to take revenge and just take the trigger. But Iz just forces a smile and replies "Good for you." because he's not doing thism he's not gonna fulfill Ed's dream.

So Ed gets up like "It wasn't even like that. In my dream I was standing." And he stands in front of Izzy with his back to him, so that Izzy does not have to face him, maybe that will make it easier for him to pull the trigger. And Izzy raises the gun shakily, and he's fighting with himself. And he starts laughing, but it's the most broken laugh i could imagine coming out of this man, and christ does that hurt. Fuckin, Con o'neill what are you doing to me you absolute madman, you genius. And he starts mocking "eddie", tells him to clean up his own mess, because he is tired of doing so. Tells him to fuck off.

Andddd I don't really know how to read this scene yet, because I don't think he meant to mock Edward here. He definitely couldn't kill him, so maybe that was his excuse why he wouldn't do it, but also, it was his way of sending Edward off, to end this. It's just 50 shades of toxic relationship and I love to watch this drama unfold man, while simultaneously dying of pain lol

And Edward leaves, and Izzy watches him leave. And you see Edward as you hear the gun go off, implaying that Izzy ended himself instead and jesus christ I did not expect them to even go there. He really ended it right there.

And Edward stands there like "I loved you. Best I could." and I had to paus ethere again because that is a statement i would LOVE to unpack some day, like??? What do you MEAN. First of all, and I'm gonna be a bit bitter, what do you mean you loved him. From what we've seen, Ed treated Izzy like ass , and I don't mean season 2, but also season 1. He treated him like air, took him for granted, convinced him to stay when izzy wanted to leave and made him promises he would not keep. When izzy was forced to leave, he basically. Did not give a shit imho.

And what did he mean by "the best he could"? I don't know if that means he was aware of those feelings (although he seemed to scoff at izzy's declaration of affection an episode back) and he did not return those feelings, or if he is simply... somewhat broken inside and unable to love. Don't get me wrong, I love ed, but he has a lot of problems that I hope he gets to work through in this season. CHRIST.

Anyway he lowkey thanks Frenchie for having lied to him, because this way he got to have closure with Izzy. And what kind of closure that was, hell, edward. Your idea of closure was giving Iz the chance to kill you, and the guy lets you walk away to end his own life instead. I'd feel less closured, ngl lol

Meanwhile, Lucius, the master at relationships and breakups, gets advice from Stede on relationships. Oh how the turn tables. Lucius my sweet boy, you need therapy :(

meanwhile edgelord Ed dares Jim and Archie to fight to the death because all love dies anyway, might as well fast forward

meanwhile Lucius trying to make it clear to Stede, that edward isn't the guy he knew anymore. That he committed crimes. "i'm not ready to believe that." and therein lies the crux of this season probably. Stede getting ready to accept that Blackbeard has done terrible things, they will both have to work through that. Ed getting better, unlearning the Kraken, and Stede having to face that Ed is not the same anymore. It will never be the same again but they will have to find a new way to make it work.

Meanwhile Jim refuses to kill Archie. They are all doomed because Ed fucking removed the steering wheel in the middle of a storm. Ed's about to fire the cannon like a madman annnd boom.

Motherfucking Izzy is still alive and he shot Ed after all to save the crew from his madness. And I did not expect the Show to.... show how Izzy actually tried to end himself, like christ on a stick this is a comedy, and even if it weren't that's fucking bleak, excuse my expletives. But he survived. He got up. He decided to use the gun not to end himself, but to save the crew instead and who would have thought we would end up here, Izzy saving the crew. Not me, not like that, and I love the guy. But holy shit am I proud of him.

"You indestructible little fucker" is exactly how I feel too, lol. And Ed looks way too happy again, looking up at the crew, how Jim heaves up the cannon ball to smash his head. "Finally. :)" My guy. (Sidenote: love the way Izzy hangs onto Fang. These two.)

EPISODE THREE!!! Which i accidentally watched first hahah

Okay i'm just gonna start where they see The Revenge, or what's left of it. And ouch, that fucking hurt to see. I've looked as crestfallen as the rest of the crew. Stede fucking yeeting himself over board because, ED!!! gjhshjk

The revenge looks horrible, and seeing the crew feast on... the left overs of, which i assume was olivia the gull maybe, or a friend idk, looked like a scene out of a zombie movie. Amazing. They all look fucked up.

They get on deck of the Red Flag and Stede desperately needs them to answer, but no one dares to answer Stede. No one wants to be that guy. In steps new captain (?) or leader at least, izzy Hands, to adress Stede. "Piss off, Izzy. I don't wanna hear from you." Which, honestly fair from Stede's point lol. Noteworthy how Izzy does not fight back though. So Frenchie gives the retirement answer and I love how the crew sticks together, all nodding in agreement because yeah, that's what happened. They all had a shit time but I love how they stick together now.

Stede "My painting. Why is it all stabbed up?" Izzy, tired but proudly "that was me. :)" lmao please. Izzy looks like such a wet sad dog i wanna fucking hold him tight

AND OOOH EDWARD TIME! And we see Hornigold!!! The man painted as a monster by Ed's words in season 1. I don't know what happened, but can only vaguely acknowledge the meaning of Ed facing his devils in this... limbo world that he's in. because he is not alive and not dead right now. But hornigold was a torturing bastard apparently, and maybe ed is seeing him because he had turned into his own Hornigold.

Jim and Olu reuniting! I am not sure how to feel aboud that. It felt very friendzoned after their amorous relation in season one and I'm... :( I mean with Archie now, they gotta figure out where they stand. I mean. the way things are goign and hinted at, I expect at least one Polyamorous relationship to happen, why not two. :)

Meanwhile Stede collecting all the knifes from the walls in Ed's room, and Izzy demonstrates his flair for dramatics by appearing out of nowhere from behind Stede LOL, i swear,

Picking back up the beginning of episode 1 where Izzy is the personification of all evil, Stede asks Izzy "What'd you do with him. I know he wouldn't have left by choice." Or maybe he means the whole crew, but I think not. And Izzy confronts Stede again with the truth of how Ed went mad, and became a downright cruel bastard. Another dog analogy is thrown around, this show and their pets and dogs I swear.

"You sent him to doggie heaven." And Izzy's quiet "No. i could never do that", because despite everything he could not kill him, ever. And very noteworthy to me was, how Izzy said "You and me did this to him. And we cannot let this crew suffer anymore for our mistakes." and I wanna frame this quote because!!! Izzy is very much aware that he played a hand in creating this monstrosity. Season 1 Izzy would have gladly pinned this on Stede alone, but season 2 izzy has grown wiser. And he is taking responsibility for his actions and is trying to shield the crew and I am so proud of him, honestly.

Zheng asking Stede "Girl how are you?? You must feel so weird. Like, you're glad he's alive, but he did all this evil shit to your friends." was so real. And Stede concedes for the first time that yes it's complicaeted. It's not just sunshine and roses. And I am honestly very curious how he will work through that. What Ed will say when Stede confronts him with his deeds, and how Stede in turn will repsond to that. SO CURIOUS!!!

unrelated to anything, but ed is such a handsome bastard, i was grinding my teeth. Like, my guy, I'm having a bit of beef with you rn but you're so beautiful it hurts smh

Anyway Hornigold mentions Ed's daddy issues and we realize that Hornigold might just be a figment of Ed's brain. Because he never told anyone but Stede (Although I honestly would have expected Izzy would have known, since he did all the killing for ed i figured he'd known the reason why ed never does it himself, huh!)

"You're afraid you're unloveable." Flashback to the reason for these thoughts, then to Ed telling Stede he's not a good person. Followed by "this is why I don't have any friends" and a flash of Izzy inbetween. So on some level he recognized he fucked that up, I suppose

Cut back to the crew in the brig. And it's sad to see them so... accepting of their soon-to-be death. They've been living on the edge of death for so long, that it feels like a relief. And christ, Izzy just looking so wearily at Stede, because well, they have found Ed now. "Go on Bonnet, give me your worst." and there's nothing. This is not the time for snide remarks, this is just sad. And Stede just leaves, and whoohoo more misty-eyed Izzy to break my heart!

Not sure what to make of the romance between Zheng and Olu. Still torn about Jim and Olu :/ Idk if we will see Zheng again, maybe i will form an opinion then, but so far i do not care about them.

Good old fuckery time! Stede breaks out the boys! Feeney apologizing through every act he does lmao, sweet soul. While everyone is watching in anticipation if Black Pete will shoot and hit the target, i am thoroughly fixated on Fang's hand steadily holding Izzy. I am seeing it, i am looking at it, I am here for it, my heart swells in fondness, FANG

The NOISES frenchie and Roach made when they went over to the Revenge, what was that lmao. And Buttons immediately taking charge, i was suprised at the competence

I feel bad for Zheng, she was kind to them. Stede liekwise feels bad. Enter Izzy. "I just wanted to thank you for-" and Stede just brushes past him wordlessly. Look I felt bad for Izzy since season 1, stop making me feel even worse. But i can't blame Stede. His love is dead, or so he thinks. He has nothing to say to Izzy

back to Ed in self-realization land. As conflicted as I am about him rn, seeing him realize he hates himself and saying out loud "I'm not loveable." Hits. Deeply. And he's made the decision to leave limbo, and life behind.

Hornigold says goodbye by calling him "old chum", just as Ed did when leaving Izzy with the gun behind, and I feel kind of validated that Edward has become his own hornigold. Or he was parroting his own words back at himself here in remembrance of his good bye scene, i don't know.

Stede sits down at Ed's side, and my heart breaks some more. But Stede fucking Bonnet is here, the light of Ed's life and it shines through even into purgatory and his will to live returns. Stede is here, stede came back, stede does love him, the cons of living mean jack shit, because it's stede.

The choice of Stede being a merman sure was. IT SURE WAS A CHOCIE. I don't know what to think about it but it made ma laugh honestly, fucking sappy

AND HERE WE ARE. The first three eps and they destroyed me thoroughly. And I am so, so curious where we will go from here.

I'm a steadyhands truther, sue me, I believ this could and might happen. For as much as Stede loves Ed i don't think he will be able to simply brush aside what he's done. It's partly Stede's fault but it was Ed's actions. The crew is traumatized, they got tortured. Izzy is a shell of himself. And boy I am here for Stede finally, truly talking to Izzy.

Maybe he will talk to the crew first, and they will tell what Izzy has done. maybe then he will approach Izzy again, with a different view. I would love for Stede to realize that Izzy too loves Ed very much.

And then of course, we saw them kind of bonding in the trailer, so maybe he will come to like Izzy :)

But for now, all I really hope for at the end of the season, is for Ed to apologize to Izzy or to acknowledge what his loyalty means to him. because god dammit I love my Edizzy, it pains me so much but it's so interesting to watch unfold. And if Izzy can turn around and be loved and respected by the crew, then Ed can turn himself around and open himself up to being loved and being able to love, god dammit.

Annd spoiler spoiler, I saw an article that hinted at ed/izzy/stede and how it is indeed a love triangle, and the core of the show, and how david jenkins is very much interested on sending izzy on a journey this season and i am fucking HERE for it

Basy out.

christ okay i can finally go on tumblr again, i opened once today and immediately saw ofmd spoiler

i finally watched and

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Dancing in the Dark And Rewatches (still day 3, but 3 am)

Loved the notes on previous posts! Please tell me your thoughts down below as they might differ with mine. *For example, a comment down below that helped me reframe the movie in a better light*

REWATCHED

Tonight, rewatched Telstar and Vengeance with the Brother(18). We usually play video games at night, but neither of us were in the mood and I didn't mind the rewatches.

It made both films much more entertaining. He's the type to make fun of any movie, so Vengeance was fun. If you read my post yesterday about that movie, we basically had the same quips and reactions. Telstar, however, was a trip.

We usually talk through movies. It's how we hang out without feeling the pressure to talk. The entire movie he was almost silent, he was interested. Flipped between hating the guy and kinda seeing his point. At the scene where douche face says 'I always knew you were a ____' he legit said "Wow, I didn't think I could sympathize with him, but fuck.". That's the good about this movie, it feels like these are people who lived fucked up lives.

We both agree ending that the scene was is just too much. We talked for half an hour about it and how the fuck this movie was adapted from the stage. How the entertainment industry fucks everyone over. We watched 1917 after, a fucking WW1 movie, and felt better emotionally at the end of that one than Telstar. I have no idea how Con could film those final scenes multiple times over for weeks. Overall, it's a better movie on rewatches.

In between, we watched Bob Odenkirk's Nobody, and 1917. His choices. Both highly recommend it. Nobody might be top 5 movies that came out 2021 for me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

After watching mostly downers I chose Dancing in the Dark. Mainly because neither of us like Romances, and we are both so tired it's fun to make fun of. I knew this was highly recommended, and it was on YouTube. Again, I know this was some people's childhood but I was born 12 years after this was made.

Overall, it's not the worst "hallmark" romance I've seen. Con's great, just way to young. It felt odd going from one of Con's most recent movies at the start of the night to finish it off with this one. Me and my brother agreed he aged like wine (after watching Vengeance and con's depressed eyes, Con earns the genuine compliment). Age gives him wisdom where in this movie I'm just waiting for a Telstar-sized incident to ruin his life.

I like that the story revolved around her choice, and that in the end they didn't immediately make out in the car. Con's character gave her space, but let her know through smiling that he was thankful. She needs time and he needs to learn to cool his jets a bit before starting a relationship. Again, she's 21. As a 20-year-old mid-pandemic person right now, I could never.

Songs were great, and I liked how few sets they used. Self contained to a small town. Me and my brother joked about how much these brits would freak out living in rural US. Cause this 'tiny' town still has a multi-story club and enough people to host a pop star. 'A two hour drive from London'. Babe, I'm a seven-hour drive through the Rockies away from a town with more than sixty thousand people. I wish I could escape the way these two can.

I know that for where they're from this distinction matters, especially with their accents often being 'lower class'. The fact that Con's character with his accent is a hit is a giant deal. Yet I still snickered at some of the lines, so win some, lose some. Always learning and willing to hear.

Loved Con 'playing' Banjo, this was the only point in the movie I felt we got to learn what he was like. He got the right-hand picking movements close enough, so I'll vibe with it.

They mentioned accents at the very beginning of the movie, and I got excited. But Con's character didn't defend his home town, or the people/place he grew up in. Overall it just felt like some of his bandmates were Londoners putting up with their lead's shit. Which isn't great.

The movie rang a bit hollow to me. His 'this town is killing us' vibe rang true. I've listened to "So Many People" for the past six months since I've found it. Unlike them, leaving town for me means 100k in debt. Being the same-ish age as the main protagonists but not feeling like I could ever have this life. Our economy wasn't built for it. Not the pop star life, but having friends to hang out with. Carelessly going down the street, arm in arm. The ability to be openly queer in a friend group, or even date someone local.

Feeling free enough to consider going to school in anything unrelated to business or tech made me feel sad. God, I'm watching 30-year-old movies at 3am on discord with my brother. You know?

I only liked the romance cause they established they'd known each other before the movie, and that he still loved her. Made her jump to conclusions and feel less ridiculous.

THE RIDICULOUS PART WAS THE BRIDESMAIDS. My god, ladies, I get that you think this is last-minute jitters but at least hear her out. Ignoring her fears isn't doing shit but making things worse. The second fuck face tried to intimidate her in the bathroom, I would have thrown fucking hands.

The football players were all douches and I think their vial hatred got more screen time than the relationship. The fact that she was getting married soon should have been conflict enough. It's not brought up to Con's character until the last third of the movie.

Seeing Con say 'you stupid twat' with a big ol' grin made my Izzy fan heart happy. Seeing Con get attacked wasn't great, but I loved that this straight character just fucking chose clothing that made him feel comfortable. Again, I fell into the 'I know what you are' trap and tried to mentally keep him straight. I tried so hard, but after months of OFMD I just see a tiny Izzy.

I hope we internet people let Con keep his anonymity about that part of his private life until he wants to define it. He's been acting as queer characters for age and is clearly an ally, but god OFMD fandom makes me nervous.

I know Con left the singing world sometime after this movie. He prefers plays, and I still need to watch the other stuff he made around this age. I wish I was able to get my hands on bootlegs of his plays, but I don't think Con's versions exist.

This movie was a great pallet cleanse and a fun way to end a good evening.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinematography: 6/10 Loved when Con's character just stared daggers into my love interest's eyes when singing 'Dancing in the Dark'. The camera pans back and forth and I realized she was supposed to be hypnotized by love. This is the only point in this movie where I feel like he's reluctant to let her back in. Other than that, standard 80s/90s movie.

Actors besides Con: 6/10 They were alright. Nothing too memorable, besides just general 'why are you the way that you are' about them. Again, I don't know how marriage-crazy people in their early 20s were in the 90s but it felt like the only thing they cared about. That and football, masculinity, and leaving a legacy on a tiny town where everyone already knows you. You do that by getting the fuck out and making yourself happy, dipshits.

Con: 7 or even an 8/10. He does a good job, but he's barely in it. The acting he does, that isn't singing, is great. Their relationship just doesn't move beyond the 'oh god, she's looking at me' phase. Hard to judge when all Con could do was play the 'cool boi with a soft side' angle. He does it so well, he seems so nice. That score went up at the end when he just asked if she was happy. He loved her, and he just wanted to see her live a good life. If that wasn't with him, then that's that. It was her movie, and that's alright. He's fun eye candy.

Story: 7/10. It's a hallmark movie pre hallmark. Wished everyone besides the footballers and our leading lady got more time. The two love interest bond after 55 minutes of a 90-minute movie, and all the real development happens in the last 15. I respect that the writers made Con's character the 'you're happiness matters more than my being with you does'.

Fun to make my brother watch, and a good time.

Overall I'd say a 7.5/8, regardless of how my math makes it out to be. The missing numbers get filled in by Con's leather outfit :). I would love to rewatch if bored and able to find it on YouTube. If you like romances, this will be more your thing. Con's great. Again, if I were to rewatch anything, it would be this or Vengeance. Telstar is just way too much to casually sit through.

Thank you so much people that are leaving suggestions! I've been writing OFMD stuff for Izzy, and going through these characters has actually helped me grasp how Izzy acts. Just by seeing how Con uses the same rule book to play emotions.

TOMORROW SCARBOROUGH AHOY! More gay shit! Yey!

[kkusuka]

HQ Middle blocker kinks <3

@xxxxtanaxxxx​ request  hq kinks but middle blocker version please 🥺

I'm gonna be honest i wasn't gonna do this buuut here it is 

i have a setter one in the works and here is the ace version!

here is the setter version <3

Characters:  Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsuro, Suna Rintaro, Satori Tendo, Taichi Kawanishi, Issei Matsukawa,  Takanobu Aone,, Shoyo Hinata, Lev Haiba Shugo Meian (MSBY captain), and Yutaro Kindaichi

Mentioned female anatomy, but mostly gn

content warning: consensual non-con, humiliation, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurisms, degradation, bondage, sex toys, cockwarming, edging, soft priamal/prey, mentions of house break-ins, pegging, size kink, overuse of the word Daddy, face fucking, hickeys

i think thats all? 

buckle up, this is gonna be looooong.

Tsukishima Kei

Degradation

This is a given, my mans has a mouth on him, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT

He says the most vulgar things in your ears (and you love it)

His nickname for you is Cum-dump, and he calls you that so much that you’ve started to respond to it. “Hey, Cum-dump! Come here” “ok Tsukki”

And when he’s cumming? A slew of insults just come out

“You whore, oh, you fucking cum-slut, you’d let anyone do this to you won't you”

And it's not limited to this!

“You're just a hole”

“You only exist for me to fuck, Right? You're just a glorified fleshlight”

“You're only good for sucking my cock”

“I should just leave you chained to the wall so I can fuck you anytime I want, that's all you're good at so you should love it”

It won’t even be only during sex

You could literally be just studying with him and he’ll just lean over and say “ you want to be fucked right now don't you? In front of all these people, I bet you’d love it Cum-dump”

Humiliation

Goes with a dirty mouth

He’ll flip your skirt while walking in front of groups of other students

He purposely sucks hickeys where your uniform does not cover and then laughs at you because you're just such a slut.

One of his favorite things to do is have you wear a vibrator in school, only on days where you have to do something in front of the class

No worries he has the remote and turns it alllllll the way up during the middle of your presentation, you just look so cute all red!

He’ll make it better!!

You can cum in front of the class, let everyone know how much of a whore you are!

Purposeful neglect

He wants you so horny you can’t think

If that means not giving you attention for FIVE DAYS so be it.

No touching yourself and if he finds out you did he’ll ignore you for longer and you don’t want that do you?

You will wait for him to touch you.

He’ll also just ignore you.

No begging, he doesn't care, he doesn't want to hear it.

Don't touch him, stop being a brat or you won’t get off for a whole week.

Bondage

It's all about control <3

Having you tied up and immobile is the best way to show how little you are.

He’ll tie you up and put you on the couch with a vibrator and just watch movies, unable to rock your hips

This seems cruel but he’ll tie your hands up and make you eat dinner with just your mouth <3

He’ll make you watch tv with a ball gag in

He’ll have a riding crop in his hands when you study and he’ll hit your little clit/silt with it every time you get a question wrong

Kuroo Tetsuro

Pet names

Literally any kind o endearment, but mainly switches between Kitten and Baby Girl/Boy(i am swooning right now)

He WILL call you these in front of people and out loud in public

He’s called you them in front of your parents in front of Kenma in the middle of the grocery store.

So you're wondering, why does that matter? People do that all the time!

Well, he calls you them so you remember how he completely ruined your little body and how his cum is still dripping out of you <3

And its cannon that he has a sexy voice, and it drops and gets deeper when he calls you them.

Thigh highs

It doesn't matter in you have the biggest thighs ever or just a bone, if you wear any kind of thigh highs (bonus points for Cat ones) he will be ready to bust a nut

It's not only him that gets off on them, especially when he takes them off

He’ll climb over you and use his teeth to pull them down to your feet and he’ll kiss and bite his way back up to do the other one.

He also will sometimes leave them on to rail you into your bed, when this happens he puts your legs over your shoulders and squishes his head between them.

(kuroo loves thighs, and that's that)

Caregiver

He's taken care of Kenma all his life, and you bet your ass he’ll do it for you

This means he gives the best aftercare you could imagine, I’m talking bubble baths

He’ll cook for you in nothing but an apron, and he’ll tease you when you get all flushed and cute!

You had a bad day? He’ll eat you out for hours until you’re all cuddly and tired.

He’ll fuck you slow where you need it and he’ll kiss all the pain away <3

He just loves having you dependent on him makes him so happy and thankful to have you!

Threesomes

Mainly for Kenma, but he let bokuto have a turn and even convinced Tsikki to give it a try!

He really just wants to show off that you’re his what better way to show you off then let some of them get a taste of something they’d never have.

Favorite position for this? Split roasting/ Eiffel towering

He's the one who you're sucking on, and he’s so far down your throat making him suck you deeper and deeper until you’re drooling all over his balls like a good Kitten

Whoever he sharing you with would be in you following whatever Kuroo tells them to do

Rub your clit? Yes Sir.

Faster. Yup

Slowdown Kittens being bad so she doesn't get to get off <3

Suna Rinatro

Purposeful neglect

Just like Tsukki, he wants you hot and bothered all the time

He will just sit around and scroll on his phone while you’re whining :(

Just let him watch this video and he’ll get you off!

Will never tell you but you just look so cute, all needy and horny for him.

Sometimes he’ll slip you a libido pill and just watch the world burn.

He will wait until you have ruined whatever shorts you’re wearing (and he’ll take them) and THEN he will help his poor needy baby

Cockwarming

Almost every time he games, he puts you on his dick

you already know it’s happening when he takes the controller out

He says it's because he doesn't want to “leave you out”

No moving on him though, if you8 move it could distract him and you do not want him to lose, losing means being pounded into the floor until you can't think, then being ignored the rest of the day “horny sluts can sit on the floor until they need to be used”.

But if all goes well, he’ll go soft in between rounds and will suck on your neck and will let you cuddle into him during the rounds

But when Suna if feeling a bit more adventurous he will put his headset on you and fuck you with all of his friends listening

And if that's not bad enough they all clearly know what’s happening id Osamus soft coo’s and Gin’s little comments (but it's not like they want it to stop anyway)

Edging

Will literally just do this out of nowhere

You thought you were finally gonna cum, then nothing

HE WILL just do things for hours to see you cry and begging or him to just let you cum

He’ll stick four fingers in you and bring you to your climax and just leave you on the edge

He won't even have a reason, you were being good, you let him play his game and he does this?

Que pouty bby

Video/Photography

We all saw this coming-

But he takes it a step further than just having a photo collection of you

He has a personal private story with just you in it where he put videos of you riding him or sucking his dick fo you to “see how slutty you are”

 that's not even it,  he sends you a picture of you naked in the middle of work, with no shame either

Thus one time you were showing a coworker a shirt you had bought and he texted you and the picture showed up. It was awkward for the next few days.

But these don't even compare to how he has an entire Instagram account (private of course) of your nodes and videos of the two of you fucking.

One extra little thing is that you both watch porn together for ideas.

Satori Tendou

(i could make him a post of his own-so so many kinks for Satori)

Humiliation (mentions of pee)

This can range from calling you names to making you touch yourself in public

He’s called you a pillow princess in the middle of class, in front of your teacher

It had gotten so bad they Ushijima had to ask what a “cum-dumpster was” because Satori had called you that in front of the team.

He doesn't even introduce you as his S/O, hw=e would call you an escort or that you were just his personal fuck toy.

This kink goes so far that when you were on a double date with Semi, under the table Tendo had his hand literally in your pants.

**One of his favorite things is to make you hold your pee in until you are almost peeing yourself, isn't that embarrassing that you're a grown adult who’s about to wet yourself?

Overstimulation

He wants to see you a complete mess all over him

The main goal of all of this is to make you squirt or begin to have dry orgasms

He will not stop until he’s happy or you say your safe word (which is rare)

One orgasm just isn't enough for him :/

And it's a big boost of confidence for him!

he‘s proud to know he can make you cum so much you cant even think!

Dacryphilia

This AND overstim?

Good luck

He can't even explain why it turns him on so much.

You just look so beautiful with tears streaming down your face all fucked out

It always hits him at the worst times too, you crying over a bad grade? A pretty tear falling over your soft cheeks. Hard.

Just watched a sad movie, he’s ready to pound you into the couch.

Anal

Oh ho ho

This can be one of two things, he does it because it feels good

OR

He does it as punishment

That means no lube

No adjusting to his dick

And no extra pleasure to help you get off

He’s so mean </3

Taichi Kawanishi

This man screams pornstar

Public sex

This man is unstable

You could just be walking in public and he just decides he wants to fuck.

Who are you to stop him?

Just let him get this out real quick you can shop later.

Exhibitionism

The thought of being in the open? This man loves it

And you don't really have a choice but to love it

Every time you go to the beach he just has his dick in you, in the ocean sitting in his lap while eating lunch

He doesn't even care who sees

Children? Who cares, look away or whatever

Getting caught

It doesn't even matter who it is

If someone walks in when you're doing it he’s cumming

It's just hot

He doesn't need to explain it to you

he also makes u take nudes and had them as his homescreen for a while

Issei Matsukawa

I’d let this man kill me-

Leather/ latex

LEATHER GLOVES

He wears them when he fingers you so he can make fun of how wet you made them.

He dresses you up in these pretty little pastel dresses (gender to heel, he doesn't care, you look hot weather your a boy, girl, or not) and he wears all black (goth daddy Mattsun) and his gloves to fuck you in his leather-covered fist.

That's not even it

He has an entire bin of different colored chokers and leashes just for his pretty baby

Along with that, he has a shelf of latex thigh highs for you to wear and even has an entire outfit for you to wear and show off to him.

Ddlg/b/n-Lifestyle

This is why he has a lot of things that you wear!

He loves to take care of you all the time!

He loves to make his baby food and love to watch movies with you

And you love him so much too!

You would do anything for Daddy!

And he takes you shopping and to restaurants, and if you want literally anything big or small all you have to do is look up at him with puppy dog eyes and a “Daddy, please!!” and boom his credit card is already out.

Size kink

Big dick Mattsun-

This all comes back to the fact that you are so beautiful

And big dick little hole, who doesn't love that??

He sure does, don't worry though he always makes sure to prep you

Except if it's punishment- he doesn't like it he swears! He’d never want to hurt you!

And you’d believe it until your crying on his cock and it throbs ://

But if it still hurts, and it does, he’ll let you go your pace and sink all the way down onto his cock<3

Fun fact the first time he went into your ass he tried to with no lube and you couldn't sit for DAYS

Voyeurism (receiving)

Makki Makki Makki

I would say he was into Cuckolding but its always him doing the watching while Issei fucks you

And Makki loves it too if his constant praises and coo’s said anything about it.

And Mattsun just gets off on the fact his best friend is watching something he’ll (maybe if you're not into it) never fully have

Mattsun also likes having you tied up an watching him fuck a fleshlight of just jerking off

You look so pathetic :)

extra for big dick mattsun, he Shows all of his friends <3

I am a whore for the Seijoh 4

You bet Makki has an entire folder of pic of you, whether they are of you dripping cum or just with your legs open.

Even if he says he doesn't save them, you know Iwa has gotten off you a recording of you moaning and asking for Daddy’s cock

And Oikawa is always asking for more (the little manwhore), he says they are “references” for him, liar, he jerks off to them in his bathroom.

Takanobu Aone

It's always the quiet ones-

I just gotta get these first two out-

Consensual non-con

I can just TELL he like to pretend to break into your house

Pretend you're so scared and you don't like it

Tying you up and listening to your little cries, awwwwweeee

You were just too pretty to ignore

Just let him have a taste, stop crying he knows you want it just as much as he does

Primal/prey

He wants to feel like he earned his reward

A perfect little trophy for him to use as a toy

His dick in your tiny dripping hole is all the reward he needs

It's like you're a pretty innocent bunny and he’s a big fox just waiting for the right time to strike :)

Soft sex/ praise

I know what I said up there

But none of that means he doesn't love just setting you down on the bed with candles and rose petals and just making love

Soft music in the background and worshipping every inch of your skin

You need to be vocal though!

Tell him how pretty he is when he cums, and how perfectly his dick fits in your hole!

Tell him how soft he looks and how he is making your nipples feel like heaven.

Aftercare- bc I am also soft for aone and he is a good guy

Bubble baths and chocolate

Movies and cuddling

All of this makes him so glad that he found you

Especially when you cuddle into him all sleepily and tired.

Shoyo Hinata

oh he is so pretty-

Mutual masturbation

It's the perfect way to experience pleasure

He can see you in all your glory

All of the faces he sometimes misses when he’s fucking you!

He also learns from it!

He sees the angle your fingers go to hit that sweet spot so the next time he’s in you he knows where to aim!

(he is so precious-)

Pegging

You wanted to try it so he almost immediately agreed-

But it felt good!

The two of you reserved what one you wanted so the one he picked was almost made for him.

Plus, you look ridiculously good with the strap on-

And he voices that as much as he can!

And sometimes when he rides the strap he just watches it going in and out and in and out

(you also think this is SUPER hot but won't tell him :/)

Riding

It doesn't matter if it's you or him

Watching you fall apart on his cock without him doing a thing makes him cum harder than anything

Sometimes he gets so excited that he comes before you and makes you stay there until he’s hard again, which doesn't take long at all.

when it's him?

he’ll go for hours just to hear you tell him how good he is and how pretty he looks

Lingerie

Especially pastel babydolls

But nothing you wear could ever make you look bad in his eyes

Ok he likes it when you keep the lingerie on too like he’s fucking you and you till have a little nightgown/crop top on

Lord he will BUUUUUUSSSTTT

Lev Haiba

Size kink

Unintentionally too

He didn't even know it, but he did know that he liked that you were so much smaller than him.

He likes to put your hand to him and just look at the difference and before he knew it he was painfully hard

On the occasion, he makes fun of you saying his dick is just too big for you and you can't handle it, but then you get on your knees and he shuts up real quick

Praise kink

A given

He wants to know how good he makes you feel at all times

It doesn't have to be words either!

loud moans explanations of pleasure all drive him to move faster and faster!

Even yelling “oh god!” gets him off

He makes you feel that good huh?

Wall sex

Just playing on the size kink thing

He loves to just pick you up and fuck with reckless abandon

Gets a way better angle too- bet you didn't think he would realize that

He also likes to watch the combination of your juices drip to the floor-

Shugo Meian (MSBY captain)

Sexiest team-

Daddy/ Captain kink

Just look at him, he screams Daddy louder than you do when he’s fucking you

He takes pride in being Captain meaning he’ll fuck you for hour if the word even falls from your lips

And yes you have said it (daddy) front of the team and he did get hard, and the both of you did fuck in the locker room of the gym for an hour before you got kicked out

Even in arguments you better call him daddy, he will stop and fuck you into the ground for it

Angry or not you WILL use his title

Spanking

Will threaten you with this almost everyday

He just uses it as an excuse to touch your ass

He makes you count after each one and makes you thank him

It would look a bit like this

“Five! Thank you Daddy!” “Good Baby, five more”

But that doesn’t mean when you really deserve it that he won't unleash the wrath of god onto your poor ass

But after he’ll kiss it all better and Daddy will reward you for taking your punishment well

Controlled orgasms

By this i mean that you wont cum unless he says so

And you have to ask

Aka “Daddy please let me cum, I really want to”

And depending on what he’s feeling maybe you’ll get to cum then

And if not you’ll have to wait like a good Girl/Boy and cum when he does, which could late literally forever.

but its better than disobeying his orders, which could lead to him completely pulling out and just jerking off to cum on you :((

Deepthroating/ Face Fucking

Nothing is better to him than coming home to you on your knees and mouth open and ready

But when he’s all pent up from practice and he sees you?

Rip your throat, you aren't talking for a few days

He’ll literally fuck your face no question

He’ll put his dick so far down your throat you could feel it in your stomach

Yutaro Kindaichi

Hate sex 

He just makes everyone angry

And he gets off on it

You look so fucking delectable all red faced and angry

Makes him want to just slam into right then and there

Dom/Sub

Clearly he wants to be in control

Controlling someone is just such a  turn-on for him

Looking all pretty doing exactly what he wanted you too <3

Hickeys 

Wants to show off that you are his 

What better way than marking up your neck with pretty bruises

Plus he likes how you get all shy when people look at them 

[sokkascroptop]

traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 26

part 1 | part 25

a/n: no matter how long you have been here, just know i'm extremely grateful for anyone who's read this fic. now here's the latest chapter.

Sometimes it felt like the days dragged on. Each and every hour was laid out just like the day before–the week before. It made time seem endless, even though Y/N knew it definitely was not. Sozin’s Comet was getting closer and closer each day. Y/N didn’t know if it was the anticipation for that long fated day or if it was some buried fire bender gene in her body, warning her of something to come. She could feel it deep within her bones. She woke up earlier and earlier each day, no matter how late her night ended up. And each day the sun greeted her with warm yellow light that made the air a little easier to breathe.

As they moved further south and into Fire Nation territory, Zuko made mention of Ember Island as a place to hide out. The island–or chain of islands, really–were close enough to Caldera City that it would be a good place for them to lay low and wait, as well as uninhabited by enough people that they could lay low.

Y/N thought it was a little risky to be living in the Fire Lord’s Ember Island house, but Zuko was probably right, this was going to be the last place anyone would look for them. Maybe Y/N was just unsettled about being back, so close to Caldera City, or maybe it was being back on Ember Island for the first time since she was 9.

Somewhere between the temple and the beach house, Y/N tired of training. It just added to the monotony, and so she just…stopped. Instead, she spent her days on the beach, sometimes alone–often with the others though–playing in the tide pools and skim-boarding on the sand. And sometimes, if she felt like she didn’t have enough time on her own to recharge, she’d leave in the night, either through her window or the front door to take a walk on the beach in the moonlight. Only to come back and wake up a few hours later, ready for sunrise.

Today was no different, though the sun was already peeking over the horizon and into her room when her eyes peeled open.

The wooden floors creaked under Y/N’s feet as she crept out of her room silently.

Each board was smooth under her bare toes, not well-worn by many little feet running across them year after year but made that way before they were even built into the house, for no doubt a hefty fee. The beach house was… cold, to say the least. It just felt like each pore of the house seeped something uninviting, reminding them that they shouldn’t be there. It wasn’t just Y/N who felt it, they all spent as little time as possible in the house.

She padded into the kitchen and struck their flint to start a fire under the stove–mostly unneeded since Zuko had joined their group–but wholly necessary when he wasn’t around to be their fire-starter. Y/N didn’t mind doing it this way, it felt nice being able to do something with her own hands for once instead of relying on the others to make clean water or heat up the food. She boiled just enough water for one cup of tea before heading out to the courtyard where she knew at least two of her friends would be awake.

Y/N didn’t like feeling optimistic. It was a terrifying feeling. There was so much riding on their success; she didn’t want to spend so much energy on hoping only to have it all dashed away if things didn’t go their way. It would be too heartbreaking. But watching Aang, she could. They weren’t even sparring and she could see the power behind every blast of fire. And she had hope for their future. She had to; she wasn’t going to lose her friends.

“You’re doing that one wrong,” Y/N said from the shadows on the porch. She held her warm cup to her chest, the breeze blowing in from the ocean was keeping the courtyard chilly until the sun could rise high enough to heat the island.

Aang didn’t seem too surprised to hear her voice. “Doing what wrong?” He asked, confused.

Zuko frowned up at Y/N from his seat on the steps but nodded to Aang. “She’s right, you have to dip further down so when you come up the fire creates more of an arc.”

Aang pushed through a few more poses before Zuko stood up and joined him. Y/N stole his seat and pulled her legs up to cross them. She watched as they moved in tandem, working though the most basic of firebending forms all the way up to a few advanced ones. Memories flooded Y/N’s head so fast it made her dizzy. She remembered sitting just like she was now, watching her two brothers work through their forms when she was younger. On chilly mornings, much like today, she would wrap herself in a blanket nest and sip on tea that was much too sweet as they worked well into mid morning. In a sudden rush of affection she realized she was doing much of the same thing, just years and years later.

Aang had learned fast. That was good. She set down her empty cup as the two boys headed back to her, both sweaty from their training. “Good job, Aang! You’re doing great!”

Aang beamed with pride. “Thanks, Y/N!

“Don’t be so encouraging, he’s still got a lot to learn,” Zuko grumbled, taking a seat on the ground next to her.

Y/N pouted. “He needs encouragement. That’s how he learns.” Y/N learned that from watching the differences between Katara teaching styles and Toph’s teaching styles.

“Speaking of firebending,” Aang kicked his feet against the edge of the steps and looked around like he was avoiding something. “How did you know about the firebending forms?”

Zuko leaned back on his hands. “I’d like to know that too.”

Y/N smiled softly. “I watched my brothers for years, religiously learning all the forms and practicing them on my own. I wanted to be just like them. I guess I still remember them.”

Aang frowned. “It’s not like you couldn’t bend on purpose.”

Y/N was surprised to see Aang look so sad. “I know.” She shrugged and looked away feeling her cheeks redden with both boys staring at her. “I just wanted to be normal so people would stop paying attention to me for the wrong reasons.” She mumbled.

“It made you a better sword fighter,” Zuko said suddenly.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“The discipline and movements. You do the same when you’re fighting.”

“I’ve never noticed, but you’re right, Zuko!” Aang exclaimed.

The thought made Y/N smile. “That was nice of you.”

Zuko rolled his eyes but let the smallest hint of a smile grace his lips.

She looked back to Aang, who still looked a bit hesitant. “Don’t worry about me. How about we go swimming? Before the others wake up!”

Aang perked up immediately. “That sounds great! Let’s go, Zuko!”

Y/N and Aang stood, both looking down at Zuko, who just stared at the ground between his feet. She could already hear him saying no, telling them that he needed to train more or meditate and didn’t have time to run off and play games.

Y/N opened her mouth to tell Aang that the two of them could still go but Zuko spoke up before her. “Yeah, okay.”

Sometimes even on those long, dragging days, it was the little things that made everything better; like playing in the surf with two of your friends.

---

That evening though, Y/N was back where she had started the day, and had decided that everyone in her group of friends, save for maybe Zuko, talked way too much. She craved those moments alone where she just had her thoughts to occupy her. Especially when she had a lot on her mind.

Y/N didn’t want to admit she felt stuck inside with Aang and Katara while everyone else was outside enjoying the evening, but she also felt guilty in turning down their request to help make dinner to just wander around on the beach until sunset. She didn’t help out much with making meals, and she felt obligated to help when she could.

So she was there, sitting on the dinner table, lotus style with a knife and a cutting board and a basket of carrots in need of chopping at her side.

“What else can I do, Katara?” Aang dumped some of the vegetables he was cutting into the stew Katara was currently stirring over the stove.

“Hmm, can you go out and get some more water to make the rice?” Aang grinned and nodded, before running out of the house towards the side of the house where there was a small barrel of collected water.

Y/N smiled to herself at the interaction and continued cutting carrots for Katara, trying not to let her mind wander, but it was hard with the monotonous work and the bad spot she was sitting in.

Just in front of her was the window where she had watched Zuko and Aang train while she made tea that morning, now it showed Zuko and Sokka doing their own training.

Y/N was struggling with more than just feeling like she didn’t belong on the Island. She didn’t know what she was going to say to Sokka, or if she was even going to say anything about her feelings at all. Without the constant traveling and the safety of a hideout, she was able to just stop and let those feelings and thoughts she had been holding back with a dam of fear wash over her.

It was all really confusing for Y/N. And hard to admit.

She didn’t want to face the awkward conversation of asking whether he could always be there for her. She didn’t want to beg him to never leave because she was so insecure. She was so afraid of losing everything and everyone that she was going to do just that because she was afraid of opening up.

What would happen if she never told Sokka she loved him back? Did she even love him back? What did love feel like?

Love with Azula felt like fire, sometimes it burned painfully, but in the good times it filled her with a warmth like never before. Zuko’s friendship felt the same, but it was less like sitting too close to the fire and more like sitting just in the right place where it didn’t dry out your eyes but didn’t make goosebumps grow on your arms. Sokka always felt like a cool breeze, one where you lift your face up to the sky and smile because it always feels like relief. But that’s not what Y/N is used to. How does she know if it’s love if it doesn’t hurt a little bit? How does she know that it's real if she doesn’t have to give all of herself until she is worn to nothing to make it work?

It wasn’t that she was afraid to care for him, she had made it clear that she did. It was just easier on her heart to keep him at a distance for now until she figured they were inevitably part ways. That’s how Y/N saw this all ending. Separated across oceans, back to where they came from, whatever the outcome of the war. Y/N wanted to dream of the possibilities and opportunities where they could be together in the long run, but those were just that, dreams for another lifetime. People from the Water Tribe didn’t marry people from the Fire Nation.

Everything that she learned over the last few months was that nothing was ever set in stone, so why should she and Sokka be.

Y/N stared out the window, pondering when it would all fall apart and sliced downwards on a carrot, but met nothing but the cutting board. She looked down where the knife was closer to her finger than to the carrots. She let out a little inward gasp.

“What?” Katara turned around and asked.

Y/N’s eyes widened. “Nothing.” She motioned to the cutting board. “Do you want these smaller?”

Katara eyed Y/N and then looked to the cutting board. “They’re fine. But pay more attention, I don’t know how to reattach fingers yet.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Y/N’s eyes didn’t leave the wooden cutting board and her fingers until the others came bustling into the kitchen, all talking at once.

Y/N for the most part ignored everyone, until Sokka reached over and snatched one of the slices of carrots.

Y/N nudged his arm. “Can you wait?! I thought you didn’t like vegetables!”

“Aang got me to like carrots!” Sokka retorted, before quickly reaching around Y/N to grab another and popping it into his mouth.

“Why would you be sitting on the table that we have to eat off of?” Suki wrinkled her nose.

“Uh! Katara said I could!” Y/N stuck her tongue out.

Katara whipped around, hands on her hips. “I never said you could, I just didn’t say you couldn’t.” Katara turned back to stirring the stew before muttering under her breath, “Not like telling you no would have made a difference anyways.”

“Hey!” Y/N picked up a carrot and launched it at the back of Katara’s head.

Aang walked back inside carrying a bucket of water, to a kitchen full of chaos. Vegetables were being thrown across the room at one another, as laughter rang out. Sokka, Zuko and Y/N were sprawled on one side of the kitchen behind and under the table; with Suki, Katara and Toph only edging from behind the safety of the kitchen doorway to throw something.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N could hear the exasperation of a 112 year old monk in Aang’s usually cheerful voice.“Uh, guys, what are we supposed to eat for dinner now?”

---

Y/N was dozing against the headboard of her bed that night, when she heard the knock at her door. At first she thought she imagined it, that is until she heard a voice on the other side of the doorway. “Y/N, are you awake?”

Y/N slid out of bed and cracked open the door. She smiled and leaned against the doorjamb, a familiar feeling in her chest.

“Are you afraid that there are ghosts here too?”

Sokka grinned and nodded. “In this house? Absolutely. But I’m not here for that.”

“Oh?” Y/N raised an eyebrow.

“Come outside with me.”

Y/N chuckled. “Why?”

“Please, just come on. No questions.”

Y/N sighed and reached for an old silk robe she found in one of the closets, but her smile never left her face.

To be fair to Sokka, there wasn’t much to surprise Y/N with on an island she grew up on. But that night, the sky momentarily took her breath away.

Sometimes the simplest things were the most beautiful.

“I thought we could come out here; look at the stars a bit. I used to like doing that at home. Though it’s different. The constellations aren’t the same where I’m from.”

“I guess I’ll just have to teach you some.”

Together they laid side by side on the roof, and Y/N pointed out her favorites. The dragon, the jack-rabbit...

After Y/N had told Sokka the story of the Red Queen, some ancient fable of a powerful Fire Lady that was always one of Y/N’s favorites, they both grew quiet, Y/N asked the question that had been brewing on her mind. She worried that whatever she said would mess up the peaceful night they had been having. It felt like she was intruding on a secret that she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Hey, Sokka,” Y/N asked.

“Hmmm,” She looked over and Sokka looked about half asleep already. Maybe this would be good timing.

“Who’s Yue?”

Sokka’s eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. “What?”

Y/N could feel her face flush. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Yue.” The word sounded flat and foreign on her tongue. Maybe that wasn’t how you actually pronounced it? Some of the Water Tribe names and words were hard for Y/N’s mouth to form. If she could, she flushed deeper. “I heard you talking about them when I was hurt. I was in and out of it, so I don’t remember much, but I remember the name.”

Sokka suddenly looked very sad. Which was… odd because Y/N just thought that Yue was a Water Tribe spirit much like the Fire Nation had Agni.

“She’s the moon spirit,” Sokka whispered, his eyes cast down on his wringing hands.

Y/N eyes were wide. Why was he acting like this? “Oh. I figured she was a spirit or something. It sounded like you were praying to her, or something.”

“Yeah,” Sokka choked out. “Something like that.”

That’s when Y/N noticed there were drips of water on Sokka’s hands. Tears.

“Sokka?” Y/N said softly. She reached forward and–yup those were tears, dripping on their hands.

“She was a girl I met at the Northern Water Tribe when we first started traveling.”

“I thought she was…”

“She is.” For the first time, Sokka looked up. The pain in his eyes was unimaginable. “But she was still a girl when I met her.”

Sokka launched into a story that sounded more fantasy than real, but the look on his face, the sadness in his features, Y/N knew he was telling the truth.

“She was blessed by the moon spirit when she was born, it was the only reason she was alive. But when we were in the Northern Water Tribe—Zhao, a Fire Nation commander killed the moon spirit and all the water benders lost their bending, forever.” Sokka shivered. “It was scary, the moon was gone in the sky and we were helpless to fight the Fire Nation. It would have changed the tide of the war.

But she was selfless. She knew that she was the only hope for her tribe—for the world—and she sacrificed herself to save all of us. So now she’s the moon spirit…I guess. I don’t know, she’ll always be Yue to me.” Sokka’s voice trailed off with a sniffle. Y/N didn’t know how to respond.

Sokka sent a longing glance upward. The moon was just past full, waning in the far distance but still bright and round in the sky. “I think–I think she heard me that night. And she knew how much you meant to me, even then. And she saved you because…” Now it was Sokka’s turn to flush. “I don’t think I could live without you.”

Those words made Y/N’s chest burn. Her arms and legs tingled in relief as if all the tension in her body began to melt away. Y/N reached out, wiping a stray tear off of Sokka’s cheek. “Me either,” she replied instantly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“’m not. Sad, really. I miss her, but it’s easier to always know where she is. She didn’t have a lot of choice in her life, but this was something she had control over. If she hadn’t become the moon spirit, the war would have ended right there. So her sacrifice meant that, you know, Zuko is our friend now and Aang has a chance at beating the Firelord and you have a place in all our lives. She made all of this possible.”

“Sounds like we have a lot more to be thankful to her for than just saving little old me then, huh?”

“You would have liked her.”

Y/N nodded and peered at the moon above them. “I do like her.”

No one else needed to know that after the two of them went inside and off to bed, that Y/N hung halfway out her window to get one last look at the moon. Y/N swore as her eyes closed and sleep overtook her that the moon shone a little brighter. Maybe that’s how the moon said thank you. Y/N’d never tell anyone that she whispered a small thank you too, to the girl who lived among the stars.

a/n: don't be shy, come talk to me in my askbox and tell me if you liked it

taglist: @myexgirlfriendisthemoon @reclusive-chicken-nugget @astroninaaa @aangsupremacy @beifongsss @crownofcryptids @welovediaaxx @littlefluu @lozzybowe @thebluelcdy @teenbiology @13-09-01 @riespage @davnwillcome @creation-magician @lunariasilver @francesciak @thia-aep @aphrcditeee @solarsuki @my--shitty--art @lovingcupcake51002 @loganrwebb @celia-not-cecilia @treestarrrrrrrr @izzieserra @salsasadd @nataliahaslosthershit @awkwardnesshabitat @lanie103  @im-the-galactic-starfish @charlotteisabella  @sugamonster22  @calumsfringe @whatsuphoesandbros @i-love-superhero @justasukisimp @grouchiest-hufflepuff  @euphoricmads @ivetoldamillionlies @fanficsformyperusal @mikxyu @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @someonekeepstakingmyusernames @earthtokace @justamessandahalf @perfectlyfadingmusic @atlafanforlife @iris-suoh @chilifrylizard2

[beetsandskzreads]

silent bright summer night

bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)

genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending

notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying

scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.

It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...

The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.

The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.

And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.

- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.

- What about you? - he asked

- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.

- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?

- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.

- What about that someone right now?

Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.

- What about 'em?

- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?

- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.

- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?

- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?

- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.

- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.

- Huh? No, why w-

- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.

Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.

- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.

- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.

"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.

- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.

- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.

- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.

- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.

-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.

How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?

- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.

- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.

Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.

You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.

- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.

- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.

Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.

Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.

They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.